#I WILL SHITPOST SCHOOL YOUR ASSES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sevdrag · 1 year

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spoilers: i am an engineer

hello tumblr, and welcome to the most well informed shitpost you're going to see today: some Fun With Data involving the Harry Du Bois vs Vriska poll that just went around.

We started watching the poll just as the swing in votes started to happen, and as such, we're missing some crucial data I'll be upfront about. The poll started at noon, and we didn't start taking in information until the percentages started to change, at 13:53, so we don't have information on total vote count for the first 2 hours of the poll. And in the rush to nerd out about this, our first few data points of the vote swing - where you see the most change - didn't have total vote count either. There is also a brief period where I had to take my cat to the emergency room, and a longer period where my ass slept because this is just a silly tumble poll. Those present as straight lines in charts like this, but keep in mind, they could have had wild variation for all I know. However, based on the results, I doubt it. Big thanks to @smolalienbee and @pass-the-salt and I think @orderlyhouse for screencapping this data and relentlessly spamming the discord with it so that I could put it in this spreadsheet like the nerd I am. (do YOU have screencaps? DM me!)

Early on in polls like this when total vote count is low, you expect to see big swings -- with 4000 votes total, for example, the amount you need to swing a vote 1% is 80 people. As these go up, however, obviously, the amount of votes needed to swing 1% increases. By the end of this poll, 1541 tumblr users would have had to make UNCOUNTERED votes, that were NOT cancelled out, to move the poll 1%.

According to our data, the swing you see above took place over a two-and-a-half hour period. For the remaining 20 hours of the poll, votes one way or the other weren't significant enough to be seen in the tumblr results.

For those who are interested, our first data point showing the 50/50 split hits at 16:21, when total votes were at 14194. From this point on, voters would have needed at least 248 UNCOUNTERED/NOT CANCELLED OUT votes to change the poll a single 1%. Just numbers to keep in mind! We talk about this at the end :)

Any winning margin smaller than 248 would, therefore, not register to tumblr. Keep in mind that by the end of the poll this number was 1541 votes required to swing a percentage, because the total vote pool grew so heavily.

In the end, as it turns out, after 77,019 votes, the poll was won with a margin of only 618 votes. final percentages were, surprisingly neatly, 50.4% v 49.6%. Won by 0.8%! Now that's a close poll.

(thanks to @mio-nika for grabbing these and @smolalienbee for confirming!)

Because I was additionally curious, and a huge nerd, I wanted to go in and calculate votes per minute to see whether there was anything weird going on. I am going to be polite and put this under a cut to save your dash from my utter nerd joy, but I have caveats to put in here first.

The first thing to keep in mind is that your data is only as good as your collection method! In our case, it was a very unprofessional method that went: someone took a screencap and posted it in Discord, and I entered it into a spreadsheet with the time entered as whatever time Discord registered it. While this ended up being pretty accurate for a 24-hour poll, it presents the problem that will come up when we start talking about votes per minute: I only could measure in increments of a minute, because getting into seconds here would have been (a) impossible and (b) super overkill. However, that means that there's more noise in the votes-per-minute data because everything is assumed to be in increments of 1 full minute. Good scientists acknowledge the weaknesses of their data sets as they do their analysis! (Source: I worked in research for 15 fucking years lol.)

Here is my ESTIMATE of votes per minute at each of the data points taken above. The green trendline is a rolling average that tells the story of the poll, more or less: Lots of quick voting at the beginning, calming down over the (American) evening, then ramping back up at the end. Much like we'd expect, I think.

(And again, remember that the bit in the middle where Americans AND Europeans were asleep presents as a straight line here but could be ALL over the place. We don't have that data because we were sleep like good feral grownups.)

The noise at the beginning, I suspect, is again because I'm measuring over small and discrete increments of time. However, unless Tumblr wants to help me develop an app dumping real-time poll results into my EXCEL 24/7, there's no reasonable way I can see to get around this. Because of the noise there's a big standard deviation on here that I'm too lazy to really dig into because I did all of this while I was supposed to be working for the government, so imagine your error bars appropriately.

So what does this mean?

Well, let's make a couple assumptions for conversational purposes. Looks like people were voting at about 50 votes per minute during the slow times, and up over 100 votes per minute during the fast times.

At the beginning of the 50/50 period, we would have needed 248 votes one way to see the percentage change. Votes per minute at this point were flying, at about 100 votes/minute. That's only (the equivalent of) 3 minutes of voting time that would have had to go SOLID for either Vriska or Harry to produce a 1% change we could see on the face of the poll. And while we certainly weren't watching it live, the density of our data for the next hour or so was pretty solid, and we didn't see a 1% change. We have screencaps, baby! 248 votes going one way or the other at this particular point is chump change at that speed, so it IS surprising that we didn't see more scatter around 49/51 for an hour or so before things settled in.

In fact, I would stretch to say it's unusual to have seen such an even curve as the percentages changed on their way to 50/50, in a case where a few minutes' worth of solid voters could still have an impact, but as this is the first time I've ever done anything like this on a fucking tumble poll, I am not putting money on that either.

If someone wants to pay me, I am more than happy to become a tumble poll expert!

At the end of the poll, votes were also flying in, on average about 80 votes per minute. At this point, we would have needed over 1500 votes one way or another to see a last-minute shift. That's (the equivalent of) 19 solid straight minutes of every single voter picking the same candidate. So at the end it is NOT surprising to not see any 49/51 fluctuation. This is why once polls settle in, they so rarely change. It's just statistics.

So, Sev. Was this poll botted? I don't fucking know. We all need to go outside. However, if you're going to make drama on it, please do it on this post so that I can see. I'm getting laid off in 2 days and I would love the distraction and entertainment!

And a big thanks to @handwrittenhello for all the work they put in to this, and personally for providing me with an opportunity to spend a day doing one of my favorite things: working with data in Excel!

#tumblr's plmm contest #statistics #the most detailed #shitpost #you'll ever see #I WILL SHITPOST SCHOOL YOUR ASSES

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tgshydestan · 4 months

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wait have i not told you guys about me technically being a published author. like do you guys not know

#and not in the fanfic author way in like the i was in a book way #lets set the scene: im eight. im in advanced english. teacher is like “write a poem and we’ll enter it for a competition #winner gets into a book” (this was like an actual competition btw not like school shit like an official competition)#i was like ok sweet. worked my fucking ass off. made this cool ass haiku about easter or something idk i cant remember i was eight #(i think that’s right tho)#FUCKING WON. AT AGE EIGHT. my poem got into the book. book was published.#became a published author at age eight #world flipped upside down #now i write angst fanfiction about my blorbos and post on tumblr #follow your dreams #shitpost. i think #shitposting

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lotsobagels · 7 months

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When you're 30 and you come to the realization that you probably have Dyscalculia and that's why math was always a nightmare for you in school.

#I'm guessing it's a whole combination of things that made learning math hard for me in school but the older I get the more I'm like oh...#I'm bad with numbers and counting #time tables were a horrific anxiety inducing hellscape for me #nothing teaches you shame like having to pass your sheet to your neighbor with only 4 out of 20 problems completed #meanwhile my ass was apparently reading at 3 or 4 and tearing through books like nobody's business but I still felt very stupid because mat #anyway sorry for the ramble #self shitpost

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garbage--account · 1 year

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Flashnews : a strike bursts in a middleschool upon the creation of their sakka club

We have interviewed the anti sakka club activists at school, here are their answers :

Student A : I have nothing against Football teams. I just don't agree with their lifestyle. With this soccer club, they will expose the most influencable of us to their agenda and this will corrupt them for the rest of their life. They should practice their soccer in discretion and not in a middleschool facility where everyone can see them.

Teacher A : WE ARE NOT HAVING A [anime protagonist gang] HERE!!! They will get all of the screentime and attention, while the rest of our students will be ignored. This can be really damaging for their self-esteem and lower their grades.

Student B : it is always the sport clubs that are being created here! Never the not-physically demanding activities! Don't they think about me, who have the worst grades in PE?! I think they are doing this on purpose to ridicule me 'cause I am better than them in algebra....

Yagyuu : Soccer is shit, baseball is based. I will join this club in order to prove this tacky-colored haired dwarf that baseball >>>>> soccer.

Teacher B : if soccer isn't evil, then explain me why : they tried to use soccer kids to makes them ultimate soldiers to control Japan, establish a communist dictature around soccer, use poorer soccer kids again to makes them ultimates soldiers to wage a World War to get richer, erase soccer from our timeline, decide the fate of our planet by how well we do in an intergalactic soccer tournament, etc. TELL. ME. WHY.

Student C : I don't care what people say : their hissatsu are dangerous! If they decide to use them on us, no one could stop them! NOT EVEN A REFERREE!

Your mom : if successful, this team will bring the attention of troublesome powerfull men to this school. What if Royal Academy wants to challenge them to destroy the school after?! I don't care they haven't done that since 25 years ago, they could as well resume that right now and I have paid too much money for my son being here for him not getting that education !

Student D : with all that over the top superpowers in matches, how come nobody has died yet? This is scam.

#Inazuma Eleven #Inazuma eleven victory road #My take on why their school even hate soccer #It was supposed to be shitpost #But it became too real while i was typing it....#english is not my native language #Comment your take on why they sakka-hating #Yet again a long-ass thread written in the middle of the night #Pov : people are insane in Inazuma eleven

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neatokeanosocks · 1 year

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After wearing both a Dr. Serizawa (Godzilla, 1954) and a Frankenstein’s monster costume at the same time (full Dr. Serizawa outfit, and for the monster I had stitches and black “lipstick” (both stitches and lipstick were all done with pens)) and being called a “pirate” no less than 6 times, I have concluded polite society is not worthy of me.

#this was all at school #have people never seen a goddamn eyepatch otuside the context of goddamn pirates #i HAVE worn a full pirate costume to school. i had th ejacket. the sword. the tricorn hat. i walked around saying shit like 'ahoy capn''#believe me if i am dressing like a pirate.. you would KNOW. these exact people have seen me as a pirate.#I WORE A REAL LAB COAT #I WORE 50S ASS CLOTHING #THANKS FOR LETTING ME BORROW YOUR WARDROBE SIB #not even my literature teacher (whom shares my passion for frankenstein's monster) guessed that i was the monster #she guessed i was the botched female monster though. which i guess is my punishment for not committing to the costume and binding #cant believe i gotta add another reason to the list for why i should dye my hair black and improve my drag #shitpost #rant

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gazelessmenagerie · 2 years

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not me rewatching battle tendency and thinking about Caesar and Joseph 🤧🤧🤧

SO WHEN’S THE MARRIAGE?

WHERE IS IT RAY?

JOSEPH NEEDS TO ANNOY HIS FAVORITE MOZZARELLA CHEESEBALL

#|| Tag: OOC #|| Tag: Shitposting #Guest muse: Joseph #( NOT ME TRYING TO KICK MY ASS BACK ON JOSEPH'S BLOG. ANFLSJG )#( i got so much to fix and archive over there. afnlsdjg )#( but bet your ass the CaeJose will fucking fly once more. )#( can't ever take the love out of me for this. )#( and if the planets align. i'll fucking write you another 10 paragraph starter..... IN ADDITION TO THE LAST )#( 10 PARAGRAPH STARTER I WROTE FOR U BUT U NEVER ANSWERED BACK. )#( U NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WHEN WE MAKE LOVE ANYMORE. ;;;;;;;;;;A;;;;;;;;; )#( but in all seriousness. fucking hit me. miss my joseph's antics but i dont think i can keep up as i used to due to school n shit ;w;)#( i'll try tho. )#( joseph always comes back. anflsgj )

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synthetic-sonata · 11 months

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it is so fucking hard to rp when you have anxiety this shit sucks

#aria talkz #now i have to actually go out to find places to rp in but fitting in or integrating into groups of people makes me very anxious #so.#its also very hard for me to initiate things which is sort of essential for rp #and theres not many rp servers that do it how im used to ( simple straightforward groupchat rp with not many rules othr than dont be a dick #cuz everythings so formal. If you ask me to fill out a form i am killing myself. Slash j #its just so much more fun to just Jump into it. With gc rp specifically anyways i understand forms for like idk... more in depth servers #i just wanna rp pink and magna and . mocha. and. everyone. and get them new relationships #bc they fucking deserve them after all the bullshit theyve been thru #esp mocha oh mein gott hes only ever sexualized or infantilized or people just Dont care.#ponytown was my main hub for finding friends and rp otherwise but the rp scene there kinda started sucking ass ever since 2021. so.#its all goddamned strip clubs and shitty lab rps that dont even get to the good part and school rps are never good or serious #i need good rpers not ppl looking to shitpost hehe funny!!! you arent funny!!!!!! your humor is terrible!!!!!! log off!!!#sorry i have many emotions ab pt rp.

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da-birb-writes-sometimes · 10 months

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TWST As Lines I've Written/Said

Content Warning: Shitpost, suggestiveness(idk?) & swearing

Author's Note: These are either things I've said, or things that I've written down but haven't used... yet, might use them in the future, might not. Feel free to guess which is which.

Let the shenanigans begin!

Yuu, upon entering TWST

Yuu: “I’m motivated by spite and getting the fuck out of this damned place!”

Crowley: “This damned place just so happens to be my school!”

Yuu: “Yeah? Well, guess what Mr. Mystery Man, I fucking hate it here!”

Crowley: “Rude.”

Typical Ace Behaviour

Yuu: “Behave, my friends are coming over.”

Ace: “Weird. I didn’t know you were capable of having those.”

Yuu: “You know what? You can go out and wait on the fire escape until they leave if you want to act like that.”

Capitalism Isn't Attractive

Deuce: “Do not fall for the pretty man with the fancy clothes!”

Yuu: “Why not? He’s hot as fuck.”

Deuce: “... He’s a capitalist.”

Yuu: “THAT WHORE!”

Pissy Kitty

Leona: “Great, you again.”

Yuu: “I’m thrilled to see you too, asshole.”

Floyd, just Floyd

Floyd: “Why not?”

Yuu: “Unlike you, I don’t want to die!”

Floyd: “Boo, you’re lame.”

Yuu Needs a Raise

Yuu: “My therapist will be thrilled to hear about this revelation.”

Everyone: “What’s a therapist?”

Why Are You Like This?

Vil: “You are a blithering buffoon.”

Yuu: “Takes one to know one.”

Vil: “...Listen here you little piece of -”

Cryptid Hours

Yuu: *walks into room to find Idia sitting in the dark, facing the corner* “Did the voices win today?”

Idia: “Undecided.”

Yuu: “Okay then, let me know if that changes. Since I would like a headstart before you go all *insert demon noises* on me.”

After Any Overblot

Yuu: "I feel like a baked potato." *passes out*

The Adventures of Malleus

Malleus: “Tell me, Child of Man; do humans typically court through the acquiring and displaying of fish?”

Yuu: “Why?”

Malleus: *has been secretly using your phone for research and found himself on Tinder* “Just curious is all.”

Yuu: “... No, it’s not typical.”

Malleus: “Alright then, noted.”

Dear Professor Vargas, I regret to inform you that your attempts to woo a potential mate through your acquiring of fish may not be successful. And does the "DILF" shorts mean, "Darling, I Love Fish?" ... Asking for a friend. Sincerely, Malleus Draconia

Octopus Eyesight

Yuu: “Do you have astigmatism?”

Azul: “Do I have what?”

Yuu: “Astigmatism, like when you look at lights at night do you see lines? Since you have weird ass pupils.”

Azul: “...wait, that isn’t normal?”

Should I Be Nervous?

Yuu: “Have you ever been overcome with the lust for broccoli?”

Trey: ". . ."

Yuu: *squints, thinking* “Break glass in case of sudden lust for broccoli...”

Trey: "Should I leave?"

A Question to Ponder

Yuu: “Why do fictional men slap so hard? Like damn.”

Riddle: “Because they are not real and do not come with any of the negative consequences that often come with real men, also you can better idealize them… And anime, ‘Makes you go brrrrr,’ as you put it.”

College Life

Rollo: “I am running off 3 hours of sleep and a single croissant, do not test me.”

Baby Talk

Rook: “Ah, bonjour chatton!" *proceeds to babytalk to the cat in French*

Yuu's Type

Yuu: “I have 4 types; wet cat, malewife, girlboss, and whore." tag yourself

Crewel: "... You need to focus on your grades, not on some mutts."

What Do You Have?

Jamil: "What's that?"

Kalim: *hiding a cat that he stole from outside* "Uhhh, my love for you?"

Jamil: *annoyed* "Put it back outside, Kalim."

Kalim: *puts the cat in his face* "BUT LOOK AT THEM!! THEY BABEY!!!!"

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quotidian-oblivion · 7 months

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✨Out of context lines shitpost Pt. 7✨

Part 6

Sorry we've taken so long. Life=sucks. School=hard. Us=dead. But we also spent most of our energy roasting each other online under the tags 'quotidian convos' and 'nogolsta says hi'.

However, we managed to stay funny and collect quotes throughout, so here ye go.

gfhirgy forgot to tag Nog @mispeltnostalgia Here's dumbass #2 guys /aff

Shit we said in class (or in public) as the batfam:

~

Duke: You can’t tease me i got a scholarship

~

Kon: I got these caramels from the shop and they're really stale. But I'm still gonna eat them cuz I don't give a fuck about poisoning myself Bart: Just like how I'm poisoning myself with expired mayonnaise *bites sandwich*

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[talking about poisoning] Steph: Then they die! >:D Damian: No, they won’t die. They might just get a little dizzy when they stand up. Steph: Oh.

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Bruce: I have once gone two days without water and was on the brink of death Tim: Once, I hadn’t drunk enough water for a couple of days and I went to stand up, but I just c o l l a p s e d on the ground

[while deciding on who would say what]Nog: Hm… who would be stupid enough to— it’s Bruce.

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Tim: The level of projection has gone so far that I am now projecting into school assignments.

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Teenage!Bruce: *goes for a high five* Alfred: *awkwardly holds his hand*

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Babs: Tim, have you gotten a date for Valentine's yet? Tim: Yeah. I’m texting them right now, Babs: Who is it? *leans over to see* Babs: Babs: Are you roleplaying with a chips company? Tim: I asked them on Instagram and they said yes as long as I add them as one of WE’s sponsors.

Quo: Nog is in a committed relationship with Arnott’s Shapes. Do you have any words to say to your lover, Nog?Nog: ❤️chimpkon crimpens❤️Quo: And that’s real love, guys.

~

Duke: A lot has happened since last week, I have a whole ass big fucking family now Dick: That happened today

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Tim: The world is an oyster and Jason is gonna eat it Jason: What? Oh. Yeah. Nom.

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Steph: I stand up and a Niagra Falls of popcorn falls down off my boobs.

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Bart and Kon: jAywALkjAYwAlKjaYWaLkJaYwALkJAyWalK

~

Damian: You need protection for kissing as well and it’s called a boxing glove.

~

Lex Luthor: You’re not a gamer Kon: no but i am a gay mer… person. I’m a mermaid- oh no the condensation

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ablobwhowrites · 1 year

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Well then, lemme just-

You know how some teens try to act all tough and serious so they can look cool and "mature for their age" but in reality are a complete sweetheart (and maybe a scared cat/crybaby too lol) and all of the adults there know this bc they knew/know them since their parents had them? Yeah<3

Reader: Nothing scares me😎, I'm awesome just like that-

Kevin: Oh! Hey Y/N, how are y-

Reader: *high-pitched scream*

When Reader discovered what Bob had done it probably hit them HARD. They thought he was the COOLEST dude on the neighborhood who always gave them free food after hard days at school and would let them hang out at his work when their parents were away, now you are telling them that police discovered that he was a killer?? That gotta be a very hurtful event, especially if you are a kid.

So they kind of created this fake version of themselves to make it seem that they were over it and that it actually didn't affect them, they became this "too cool for school😎" teen who didn't have any feeling besides "chill" and "stoic". Which ends up making some of the people they grew around worried, they know why they became like this but nobody has the guts to confront them about it, knowing how the topic hurts them

Lila: So...do you want to talk about Bob-

Reader: Why would I? I don't care about what happened 😎

Lila: Well then...take your glasses off please?

Reader: 🤏😎....🥺

Bob(after escaping prison) probably wouldn't recognize them at first, only when they start to cry and beg for him not to kill them is when he notices that the teen in front of him is that kid who would always hang around when he was working. At that moment he kinda freezes, he can't believe it! They look so different! He tries to calm them down, telling them that it's only him, Bob! You remember him... right?

They just look so small and sad, there is this voice in the back of his head telling him to hug them and never let go, to comfort them like a parent comforts their child after a bad dream...and that's exactly what he would have done...if they hadn't ran away.

(idk man, just want Bob to be a platonic yandere to this teen who tries to act all tough but is absolutely terrified of him lol.)

(SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL)

(I love when anons or anyone explains and expresses their creativity and I'll make this into head canons with a tad of shitpost)

bob would have books on how to raise a teenager and other stuff. He does go out of his way to get you good animal meat sense you don't really have a wanting for it, which is fine but will the police on his ass and all

Bob does make dad jokes with a mix of cannibal humor in. Plus seeing you try to be cool but in reality a scared little kid makes him feel like a dad trying to raise a toddler who is afraid of their own shadow....he is convinced you are afraid of your own shadow, bob tries to make his house kinda child proof after hearing about how kids (which he kinda feels like you are) get hurt or almost get poisoned by things in the house or around the house so he trys everything to keep you from hurting yourself

He wears glasses....no one can change my mind, and bob does let you make friends. Well after he has you calm down after the fact he is a mass cannibal serial killer in a fucking devil costume, he is not above carrying you plus he wont spoil you a lot just at the beginning so you can at least calm down to know your not going to die....one time you went to go get a drink form the fridge at night and didn't know which fridge bob kept the drink (cause I headcanon he puts his drink and the dead bodies in two separate fridges cause he doesn't want you to get sick or just because your not use to the smell of dead corpses of victims old and new) and you open the wrong fridge and a fresh dead body falls out onto the floor your just use to it and shove the body back into the fridge and forget your drink.

Bob isn't bothered by you being gay or trans, pansexual ect. But he will need to see who your dating cause he wants the best for you....he makes "hi gay I'm dad" joke when you came out because you're his 'kid' and he will try to poke fun at any time he gets the chance, if you want to date two people that's okay but I feel like bob knows we're everyone lives in the town so he will get on his devil costume and go outside to check if your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you and if they are....then oh boy he busting in and kill them.

You guys know when your trying to show your parents something on your phone and they do that looking far away from the screen to see it?....yeah bob has to grab his glasses and does that plus when he's cooking meat he knows how to season and make good ass hamburgers

#yandere bob velseb #bob velseb #spooky month bob #yandere spooky month #spooky month x reader #spooky month pump #spooky month sr pelo #spooky month kevin #spooky month #x male reader #yandere x gn reader #x gn reader #x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere platonic #platonic yandere

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captainjacklyn · 5 months

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Making my first DOL post today..random game I got into, it's so easy to get invested.

So here is my PC, don't be fooled- that's a boy he just likes his hair long cause an someone told him it looked nice.

Kinda felt like giving him a small description, how he views most of the LIs and other characters, maybe him as a person idk this really feels like a shitpost. I only recommend the game if you aren't a minor and have a strong ass stomach cause I almost vomited the first time.

!!TW!! mentions of SA, blood, gore, violence, human experiments, death, abuse (both mentally and physically), psychopathic behavior, murder, mutation, stalking, if I missed any other triggers please inform me immediately so that I may fix my mistakes. If any of these topics make you uncomfortable, I advise you to please ignore this post and find something else more suitable. !!TW!!

Degrees of Lewdity :

APPEARANCE :

The slender young man slowly stares back at you and returns your greeting. "Oh..it's you." his name is Elias, he's a resident at the local orphanage, he won't talk back if you try anything. Just avoid taking off his gloves unless he allows it.

PROFILE/MAIN INFORMATION :

Species - human, any hybrid Occupation - student Affiliation - orphanage, oxford street school Age - 18 years old Height - 178 cm Birthday - 04th of April Gender - male (can morph his system into changing sexe so female too) Marital Status - Dating Sydney, Avery's side hoe Zodiac Sign - Aries Best Subject - English, History Interests - Cross dressing, sunbathing, napping, gardening, makeup

PERSONALITY :

Elias is an unfazed and blunt yet somewhat gentle young adult who quietly cares for others from afar. At first glance, many would think that he only speaks up when others wish to converse with him, even then his answers are short with little depth. Though it is stated that his confidence becomes much more evident once he gets comfortable, Elias can tease his peers and act playful. Furthermore, he will occasionally invite friends to spend some time with him. Whether it be taking a nap together, walking along the beach shore or reading in the library. He can crave company and has no shame in asking for someone's attention.

Not only so, but angering/provoking Elias is a feat itself, he usually avoids confrontation by walking away and even when things get out of hand, the young man will still struggle for the sake of running off. Though reaching a certain state of insanity, he looses all control of reason and will attack the offender without limit. This livid persona gives him an animalistic instinct to kill, relentlessly harming the individual(s) who previously caused his senses to go a-wire. The way he does this can get more gruesome depending on the previously inflicted physical or mental wounds on Elias, from forcing himself on them to tearing their skin open and eventually creating a gash deadly enough to give them a slow painful end. He stops at nothing until he's satisfied with how much suffering his abuser lives through.

InGameAU/Canon

Note - The statements above is largely different to how he canonically behaves. I have a knack for 'book accurate' vs 'show representation' and wanted a similar concept for my character.

In the game itself, Elias is much less of a victim and instead finds himself to be in constant control (I've been wary of any nonconsensual interactions, making a save before every choice that could lead to gr*pe or getting..y'know v*red). He is manipulative, defiant and easily angered. Belittling any passerby who leaves him a crude remark, regarding his more manipulative tendencies, this does result in him being a bit of a player.

One ↦ Robin can only have a specific percentage of confidence, preferably leaning towards a hundred but never fully. There is the excessive guilt-trip technique, Elias takes care of him from time to time and the moment Robin says something that could waver the white haired boy's sense of control he half scolds him by reminding Robin of everything he does just for him.

Two ↦ Sydney's purity = max level at all times. He doesn't want to deal with the possibility of having a bratty little *sshole follow him around everywhere for s*x. Especially not if the church proceeds to act up along with his corrupted state. The two of them are dating in game, Elias mainly uses him for protection at school, status wise at least. Due to Elias' line of work and desperate need to pay off Bailey, my PC cheats on Sydney practically everyday, having intercourse with multiple NPCs who offer a good price in exchange for his body as well as acting as Avery's sugar baby.

Despite this, he does care, I promise that he does. But his way of thinking would be similar to Alicent Hightower from House of The Dragon. He isn't narcissistic and has never once acted that way, however Elias is heavily twisted by loneliness abandonment issues go brr, anxiety and peer pressure (e.g robin getting punished for not paying his rent, Bailey possibly selling him off to the farm, etc..). This causes him to appear collected and normal at one moment and then unexpectedly go nuts.

BACKGROUND :

Elias' past follows most of the in-game's PC backstory, he was raised in the orphanage by Bailey and supposedly lived within that town his whole childhood. Another NPC who is only present in Elias' story is Monika, an older sister-like figure who was also raised in the orphanage but soon adopted and taken away. She is said to have learned to read rather quickly and many youngsters would come to her for stories, including Robin. Monika was especially close to Elias, treating him like he was a blood relative than just another inhabitant, their bond grew strong as years passed and her depart created a rather detrimental impact on Elias. Who closed in on himself and ceased to socialize, a partial root to his present conduct.

However, there is a darker side to his story. This would also explain the truth behind his gloved hands which he hates uncovering at all cost, as well as his existence alone. Elias wasn't conceived naturally, instead he was created inside an artificial womb manufactured by a non-governmental laboratory which was currently exploring the nature of hybrids (e.g beings such as the Black Wolf or Great Hawk). A group of scientist took a step further, planning a project which was yet to be approved by their employer, and decided to combine several varieties of animal DNA along with human ones. Their goal was to revolutionize the science of genetic research. Unfortunately, the team was found out and reported to their boss, who visioned Elias' birth as a horrific mistake exhibiting complete disrespect to the laws of nature. The people who had fabricated the unnatural child were instantly discarded from further company work.

Up until that point, the infant mainly looked human and acted as such. So the executive ordered for the toddler to be dropped off at an orphanage and forgotten.

TRIVIA/BONUS FACTS :

Elias is rather fashionable, he sometimes goes into the supermarket to try on a set of clothes before leaving without purchasing a single item. (the art is in the savings)

It is stated by several NPCs that he has a bad habit of staring, this is actually due to him daydreaming/spacing out whilst looking ahead unconsciously.

His favorite drink is lemonade and favorite dessert is lemon tart, anything that has to do with lemons is usually enjoyed by Elias.

When adapting to an environment, his hands are the first to metamorphose. They also connect to his emotions/primal instincts, circumstances like these are what drove Elias to hide them.

His screams sound like a mix of Caraxes and Syrax, his sounds are more guttural than actual cries.

CREDITS FOR PICREW :

#1; #2; #3; #4; #5; #6; #7; #8; #9

#degrees of lewdity #dol #dol pc #degrees of lewdity pc #degrees of lewdity oc

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strawberry-cowmilk · 2 years

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top 10 saddest quotes in obey me

a/n: I'm suffering from having 0 idea of what to write next and my previous shitpost like this did surprisingly well, so here we are. (I actually posted this before but it didn't show up on tags??) Again, this post is all jokes. I'm sorry if I accidentally offend anybody.

no image belongs to me, I just filtered and cropped the screenshots from the game.

content warnings: shitpost! everything is all jokes, mild strong language

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10

This is a harsh reality many Mammons live in: zero money. You know why? Because they often get hung up upside down, so the cash falls out of their pockets. The Mammons hate it very much, and it's scary for them, but this one is showing his deep fear to the Leviathan to show he really has no money. The fact that the Levi looks like he doesn't believe the other male is truly devastating to look at.

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9

What we see here, dear people, is a wild Beelzebub who stole a Leviathan's food, and proudly quotes the Joey guy from Friends while doing so. While it is not uncommon for such orange-haired males to steal food, it is sad when it happens to a Levi. Think about it, where do we go to get food when it's all finished? Exactly, the supermarket, which is outside. And what do Leviathans hate? The outside. This poor Levi now has to go outside for food.

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8

Mammon has returned, this time not sharing his own hardships, but making life hard for another species: Satans. Many people don't know this, but recent studies have shown there are two kinds of Satan, gold and silver. Silver Satans are more emotional than the gold ones, so calling one cheap is very painful for them, dangerous too. Why? All Satans express emotions by throwing destructive tantrums. By the way, our research team couldn't determine what the Simeon is thinking. Hypothesis says he's thinking about an Mc's glutes.

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7

Speaking of glutes, look at this heartbroken Asmodeus. It's in his name, ASSmodeus. Clearly, this kind of male loves ass as much as he loves the mirror section at IKEA and fake plants bugs won't sit on combined. This Asmo had spotted some potential mate with, in his words, 'a pretty nice derriere.' Imagine the pain he felt when the mate, potentially a Mc dressed as a succubus at a Halloween party, vanished from sight. Scientists were brought to tears by this image. So sad.

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6

Many of us can relate to this poor Belphegor. It's a sad reality we live in: waking up everyday from precious sleep to go to work, school, or to see your laundry you forgot to fold. As we know, Belphegors enjoy sleep, and are able to sleep in any situation. That is how much they love visiting dreamland. Our team of researchers believe this is due to the fact that Belphegors dream about auditioning for the position of the lead singer of Evanescence, and getting said part. This is their dream they get to live in. Imagine waking up. Ouch.

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5

Oh my, what a rare sighting! Wild Raphaels don't appear often in front of people. But, think about the reason we found a Raphael. He said it himself, he is missing. The poor thing. Imagine how much he misses his mom. The fact he used the word 'still' indicates he's been lost for a good while. Poor Raphael, we all hope he finds his mom soon.

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4

When you first look at this, you might think there isn't much sadness to it. But what if I told you our research team found out what the context behind this image is? You see, the Lucifer is talking to an Mc. Said Mc just woke up from a dream and they're still half-sleeping. Sadly the dream was way better than their reality: the Lucifer actually unbuttoned the highest button of his shirt in it. This Mc wishes it was also the case in their reality. One of our researchers quit because this was way too emotional.

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3

Now, on with the real tear-jerkers. First, I have to point out how sweet it is of the Asmo to try to cheer the Levi up. But, we've all been in this position the Leviathan is in right now. And we sure know how painful it is to relive those memories. Nobody wants to remember the terrible things they did as a young child at 3AM while trying to sleep after all. Just look at this Levi's body language, he's completely shut himself off from the world. I actually cried.

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2

Oh the pain. The pure emotion packed into this phrase, the hint of sorrow behind his eyes, the blush, indicating the Satan was crying. That's too much, man. Good thing the nearest Mc came running to give this Satan a hug. We have to admit, our team wasn't able to find the context to this image. However, the most popular theory states that the Satan was trying to catch a cat, but it ran away and told him a yo mama joke.

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1

I needed a moment before even looking at this. Poor Diavolo, getting absolutely clapped in Mario Kart. Everyone hates losing in that game, but it's worse for Diavolos. Mcs rank them not by attractiveness or anything, no, but by skill in Mario Kart. That means this Diavolo's love life got ruined, by his own friend. If that isn't sad, I don't know what is.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me screenshot #obey me screencap #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #obey me memes #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me raphael #obey me diavolo #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me

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humming-fly · 7 months

Note

i just scrolled through your entire folder of mobile game screenshots from the "greed goes to high school" event and oh my god i thought you might be exaggerating in your comic but no that really does all happen. im gonna assume that youre right and it was all some sort of fever dream in the woods after greedling ate a bad mushroom or something

FMA Mobile Madness Shitpost

YEAH REALLY IS SOMETHING ELSE AIN'T IT

honestly i love that the mobile game is just making these random ass aus with no justification. At least the school one is like, Obviously non-canon while the rest of the events live in the Dubiously Canon zone of 'maybe could've happened offscreen you don't know' - my personal favorite of those storylines is the halloween event where lust and envy hang out with the ghost of a small child for a while presumably because they have nothing better to do

#also that's a lie my actual favorite is of course the summer ling and lan fan plotline #where they romp around a submerged palace for a while #breathing in all that good good oxygenated water that definitely would work #anyways that crack merxing au i bring up every mermay could be canon in the mobile games i guess #reply #flufflecat

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noelletism · 2 years

Text

RTC Headcanons for a cyclone-free AU except it’s a lot of projection

- Ricky had a warrior cats phase

- No elaboration

- The group learned a little Ukrainian for Mischa and learned ASL for Ricky

- Constance loves to crochet

- She makes gifts for EVERYONE

- Headbands for Ocean, sweaters for Ricky’s cats, a slip dress for Noel, etc etc

- They all joined the choir for different reasons

- For Ocean, it was her love of music and desire to get away from her parent

- For Mischa, it was escapism from his abusive adopted parents, but he just said singing helped his rap career

- For Constance, it was time away from her family and new friends

- For Noel, it was his love of songwriting and poetry. Choir was such an underrated art form and even though he pretended to hate some people in the choir, it was becoming his favorite thing a

- For Ricky, Ocean dragged him along (canon)

- Nobody knows why Penny originally joined, but she’s one of the happiest ones there

- Ricky, Penny, Noel, and Ocean are all autistic

- Ocean was basically diagnosed by the group

- Similarly, Ocean has never been to a real doctor and has never been vaccinated

- The group is not having that shit and immediately drags her ass to the nearest clinic (1 hour away)

- Group road trip !! but everyone is annoyed at Ocean’s family !!

- Babes has been fed all the propaganda by her hippie ass parents so they all make fun of her on the way

- “Ocean, you and half of your friends are autistic what the hell do you mean you don’t wanna ‘become autistic?’” - Noel

- She’s lying out her ass abt the conspiracy theories; she’s way too smart to actually believe them

- Ocean is just very scared of needles

- me too babes me too

- this is 1000% projection and also how I cope

- She has chronic anxiety in general about school and her future but needles are the worst of her triggers

- She ended up telling the group about her needle phobia after denying it for a whole hour

- Constance squeezes her hand and Penny plays with her hair to get her to relax

- They all go to Dairy Queen after (she gets a treat she’s been a very brave little girl /tiktokaudio can we get a tiktok reference tone tag? Please?)

- The choir loves to have baking competitions

- Obviously Constance wins but goddamn Mischa is a FIEND in the kitchen as well

- Omfg sleepovers with these guys are straight out of old teen movies. I’m talking braid trains, movies, gossiping, the works

- Ricky is in the front (physically can’t braid)

- Ocean is in the back (tenderheaded and also hates being called Pippi Longstocking)

- Penny is the best braider and also loves having her hair braided

- Penny’s love language is physical touch

- She will literally hug anyone and everyone and loves playing with people’s hands and hair

- Penny is everyone’s comfort person

- Feeling anxious?? talk to Penny

- Missing home?? talk to Penny

- Mischa is almost always at Noel’s house

- Both for gay reasons and Mischa needing an escape

- Penny probably has a “weird” pet, like a rat or a lizard

- There is a group tiktok under stcasschamber

- There is zero monitoring and it’s essentially a shitpost page

That is all for right now

#not even an ocean kinnie I’m just stressed as shit lately and need a character to project my mental issues into #hope y’all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing #ride the cyclone #rtc #ocean oconnell rosenberg #ricky potts #constance blackwood #mischa bachinski #noel gruber #penny lamb #jane doe #rtc headcanons #headcanons #musicals #musical theater #musical headcanons #shitpost #kinda

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spiritshaydra · 1 year

Photo

Okay yeah gonna say screw it and just post the fullbody I finished back in November because her ref is taking too long and I wanna share my cringe ass nae nae hellspawn 😭

OKAY SO

THIS IS REQUIEM (Or just “Em”)

And she’s a Megasound fanspawn,, bear with me, I’ve never made an oc like this before so I’ve been extremely nervous to show the creature off. 💀(especially since this is the fancharacter type I avoided making at all costs when in high school despite it leading to some very interesting character development.) Eventually I just said screw it, I’m proud of the design and character work I’ve been developing since August, I’m going to show her off.

I don’t really take her all too seriously as I originally made her to shitpost because I thought it’d be funny. And like my main TFP OC Quantum, she eventually grew past that and became something more. (While still keeping her silly at the same time)

I have. A LOT. Of development for this single celled organism that prolly won’t fit in one post, so on here I’m just going to do a sort of character bio thing (based on the format of Quantum’s Toyhouse bio) to introduce her. (Maybe I’ll do a Q&A sort of thing if anyone’s actually interested in that?)

HERE WE GO:

Name: Requiem (Em for short)

Name Origin: This is what happens when you put a poetry/mythology nerd and a music nerd in a room together and have them name something. You get a name with origins in both music and literature (A music or literary composition that acts as a form of remembrance for the souls of the dead.) annnnnnd a reference to a mythological figure (the name of Megatronus/The Fallen’s weapon, the Requiem Blaster. Gee sure wonder who’s idea that was.) Unfortunately, the goblin who was given that name has a grand total of two brain cells and has as much class as a hagfish.

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Species: Cybertronian

Height: 12ft approximate (for design depicted above)/ 30ft (adult; not pictured)

Alt-Mode: (Base) Cybertronian heavy bomber/ (Earth) Tupolev Tu-160 Blackjack

Home Planet: Earth

Faction: Decepticon

Pre-War Occupation: Did not exist before the war.

Personality: Requiem is loud, stubborn, rude, mischievous, a little naive, and all around a feral mess. Absolutely no filter. Textbook example of “curiosity killed the cat”. The champion of the age-old schoolyard discussion of “my dad can beat up your dad.” For… obvious reasons.

She’s easily bored and easily distracted, and thinks it’s entertaining to mess with other bots in the form of stupid pranks and barrages of questions.

Has a bit of a potty mouth and gets creative with her insults.

A fembo (but a lil mean) was told to use her head in a fight, but ended up head butting the opponent and subsequently knocking them out as a result.

As a result of (EXTREME) helicopter parenting combined with adrenaline junkie behavior, Requiem has the tendency to be an escape artist and to purposely seek out potentially dangerous situations such as but not limited to: Diving into a hurricane (to see what would happen), storm chasing (the bigger the better! Also to see what would happen), playing Icarus and getting struck by lightning on the Flight Deck of the warship (STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS), sneaking out of the Nemesis and simultaneously smuggling all sorts of creepy crawlies and other organic critters back on board (has to be shaken out just to be sure.), being a little too interested in volcanic activity, sneaking weapons out of the armory and attempting to join the fight, and sneaking away from the ship to “explore”. Em wrangling is a very tiring objective.

If Rumble and Frenzy were alive, they would’ve definitely gotten along. (And would’ve been an unstoppable force of chaos oh gOD.)

She likes the pastel magical horse show about friendship, LOVES stickers, and her absolute favorite color is the most obnoxious eye bleeding shade of pink imaginable. (She was denied changing her PRIMARY paint job color to it for obvious reasons. Honey, that is a LOOK and not exactly a good one.) She likes to pretend to be a gladiator. She likes to give people really stupid and bad nicknames for the hell of it. A favorite being combining the first few letters of a name or descriptor with “uncle”. She thinks it’s hilarious. A little too interested in arson and explosives. Her music taste can be described as “2012 Warrior cats amv” and “noise”. Really likes slasher films for some reason.

She exhibits several behaviors that could only be described as those of a cryptid. (…or cat.) These range from being able to sneak up on others and move without making a sound, staring unblinkingly and expressionlessly at things and other bots, climbing up and perching on top of things, noise mimicry, recharging facedown in a deathlike manner, and the worst thing being how she used to skitter across the walls and ceilings of the Nemesis as a sparkling. There were a handful of instances where she got into the vents of the ship and it was a nightmare trying to coax her back out. Oh yeah. There was a biting problem.

Requiem either hates or actively dislikes things ranging from water, being told to stay still, the thunder part of thunderstorms, the medbay, and being quarantined.

Her social ability leaves much to be desired, as she was raised in total isolation from her own age group, so she lacks most social skills as a result. Because of this, she often comes across as “weird” and as a bully, even if unintentional. Due to her isolated upbringing, she is a very lonely individual despite not exactly acting the part. Being routinely quarantined does not help that feeling of loneliness in the slightest. Em wants nothing more than a friend, or at least an acquaintance to spend time with. It’s just that, given who her parents are, that makes things impossible.

She has a very unhealthy view on death, as it isn’t exactly rare onboard the Nemesis. Surprisingly, she was actively kept away and shielded from most of the fighting as a child- however, in wartime there’s only so much one could be protected from even as the child of the highest ranking individuals of the faction.

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kimbapisnotsushi · 28 days

Text

here are some more miscellaneous post-ts headcanons but this time we're not going pro teams we're taking a walk on the side of your average working adult let's go!!

okay let's be real do we REALLY think lev is in charge of his own social media accounts bc i feel like that's a dumpster fire waiting to happen

i'm going to say yes because it's funny as hell

he tweets things like "lol i worked with [insert older veteran actor here] today i had no idea he was such an asshole" and gets frantic phone calls from the pr team like three seconds after posting

his instagram is also full of like. really blurry casual pics and just doesn't look professionally curated at all but the fans love him for it

i'm actually super curious as to whether he gets typecasted a lot and if so i'd love to know what it is

i want to say goofy comic relief side character?? so when he gets selected for a serious drama role nobody is expecting him to blow it out of the water but he does!!!!!!

also another thing lev does that gives his pr team a heart attack is when he posts anything vaguely related to his love life. which funnily enough are the only quality non-shitposts he does himself

like you've got the aesthetic silhouettes against a wall, the hands intertwined on a candlelit table, the vague tweets of "so lucky to wake up next to you. wish it would never end <3" and everyone's going WILD trying to figure out who it is

(and, well, nobody is going to notice shibayama yuuki liking the posts amidst all the other pro volleyball players who do, right?)

shirabu's got a rep in med school for having the worst fucking bedside manner of all time

well not really i think he's like. the kind where fellow/older colleagues and such judge him for it and they think that he could stand to be a LITTLE bit nicer but if he works with kids or whatever i bet the kids would actually really like him.

he's dry and straightforward and calm and takes them seriously and treats them like adults. the only thing he does to baby them is dumb down the medical jargon into an explanation they can actually understand

ugh shirabu actually makes me really soft for what an asshole he is

oh but if you're a bitch ass bastard for no reason he'll try to be as snarky as he can be without like. getting reported to hr or whatever

sorry i know this probably isn't how medical professionalism works irl once again i just think it'd be really funny

also can i just say that i think it's the funniest fucking thing that komi became an actor. like where the hell did THAT come from

i feel like he got thrust into doing a role for a class play during cultural festival season and got hooked on it probably? because literally when else would he have the time to get into/practice that kind of shit

that's probably a fun fact he drops during a magazine interview or something LMAAAAO

"yeah volleyball practice took up most of my time, and i never really thought about doing anything else. but then things changed in my third year of high school when i got cast for cinderella . . ."

speaking of fukurodani. yukie and kaori my beloveds

i skipped out on them during my managers post which i regret deeply and dearly so here they are!!

full disclaimer i don't know how sports promoters actually work i'm assuming they promote whatever sports games they are assigned instead of just sticking to one sport only? which means that whenever kaorie gets her hands on something that isn't volleyball she gets a dozen texts from bokuto moaning about betrayal and treason and all that

when kaori gets with someone she meets through work (so someone on a pro sports team) the rest of fukurodani are like "okay but he's a BASEBALL PLAYER" as if being a baseball player is the most atrocious thing a person could be

kaori's like "guys come ON i told him all of you were cool!" and everyone's like "now why in the world would you tell him that"

yukie has a decently popular cooking channel that is loved not for her yummy recipes or her aesthetic filming but because none of her kitchenware matches

she just collects whatever she likes + a bunch of shit that's been gifted to her and while it should make her kitchen look cluttered it's all just very cozy and lived-in

like. all her pots and pans are different colors and themes. no pair of chopsticks are the same. she has a ladle shaped like a dinosaur and a teapot glazed with magnolias on the side

her recipes DO slap tho she and osamu collab a lot

UGH i love them living nice fulfilling adult lives i wish that were me

#hey guys i am. slowly trying to get back in the game!!#haiba lev #shibayama yuuki #komi haruki #shirabu kenjirou #shirofuku yukie #suzumeda kaori #shibalev #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu hcs #sou says stuff

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