#FINALLY THIS TOOK AGES IM CRYING TEARS OF JOY

[meguvmii]

I still want you.

Chapter 7

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message on the box. Also super sorry for not updating but im back!

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"Sumire!" Yelling with happiness you ran towards your kid. Seeing Sumire in your mothers arm sleeping soundly you couldn't help but feel delightful to see your son.

It felt like it was ages but finally seeing him in the airport running towards you, your heart felt full. You had been away from home for too long, and you felt a deep connection to Sumire. As you got closer, your heart was filled with joy and love for your son. You couldn't help but smile as you looked upon his peaceful face, and you knew that your family was finally reunited. You embraced your mother and Sumire, and you were grateful for the moment. You smiled and looked at your son, Sumire; his hair had grown so much since the last time you saw him. You noticed it was starting to turn white, just like his father's.

"Mommy!" Sumire hugged you tightly, his small chubby hands gripping your chest. Sumire missed you so much, and sometimes he would cry to your mother about how much he missed you and his father, Satoru. It was obvious that Sumire was a mama's boy.

Despite the sadness of the events that had occurred, your heart was warmed by the thought of your son. His presence in your life was a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there could still be moments of joy and peace. He was the one who had the power to make your pain disappear.

"How was grandma's house?" Kissing his forehead you caressed Sumire's white hair. Toji saw your mother struggling to get her luggage into the car and immediately offered to help.

He took one of the bags and loaded it into the trunk, then grabbed the other one and did the same. His kind gesture made your mother smile and she thanked him for his help. Satoru was too busy consoling Jiyuu the whole entire day that he had forgot that Sumire was coming today. You knew that having sex with Satoru was a mistake but you were so caught up in the moment you forgot how much you despised him. You had always known that Satoru was a snake but you had allowed yourself to be charmed by his smooth words and seductive looks. You had thought that maybe this time would be different, but it wasn't. You should have trusted your instincts and stayed away from him. Sumire's own father didn't even come but Toji came.

"Good! Grandma helped me learn how to write" your little 5 year old said. You could tell Sumire was growing up by the minute. You couldn't bare seeing your baby boy grow up.

You smiled and ruffled his hair, feeling a mixture of pride and sadness. You were proud of him, but you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that he was growing up so quickly. You looked at your mother, thanking her silently for her help in teaching Sumire how to write. "I know how to spell my name now mama!" Hugging him tightly you felt proud. His face beamed with excitement as he proudly recited each letter of his name. You gave him a big hug and praised him for his accomplishment. Tears of joy filled your eyes as you realized your little one had just taken the first steps towards independence.

"That's good honey, go inside the car okay? I need to talk to your grandma for a bit." Putting him down Toji held the tiny 5 year old hand. Taking him to the car you were left alone with your mother.

You both stood there in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say. You glanced at her, noticing the wrinkles that had formed around her eyes. She smiled at you, her eyes twinkling with love and compassion, and opened her arms.

You stepped into the embrace, feeling the warmth of her love wash over you. Tears started streaming down your face as you both hugged tightly. "Mom... me and Satoru. We're getting a divorce." Hearing those words your moms eyes widened.

She looked at her daughter in disbelief, her eyes widening as the realization hit her. She had suspected something was wrong for some time, but had been hoping it wasn't true. She had never expected to hear those words from her daughter's lips. Her body seemed to tense up as she slowly processed the news. She stared into your eyes searching for an explanation, her face filled with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke. "What happened?" she asked in a soft voice, trembling slightly. Shaking your head you buried your face on your moms shoulder.

Placing a hand in the back of your head you cried. Not wanting to tell your mother Satoru had cheated because you knew your mother would lash out at him. You wanted to protect him, even though he had done wrong. You knew he was struggling and it was hard for him to stay away from the bad crowd. You wished there was something you could do to help him, but you knew it was out of your control.

"We agreed it was best for us to go our separate ways." Not wanting to go into further details with your mother she knew it wasn't her place to pry anymore. Nodding she just held you.

You knew your mother would be so angry with Satoru and you didn't want that for him. Knowing how much respect he held for your mother for being a strong women you couldn't believe he could actually cheat on you. Seeing how devastated your mother was when your father cheated and he still decided to cheat on you. You wanted to protect Satoru from the wrath of your mother's anger and disappointment. You knew that she would feel betrayed by someone she trusted and admired, and you couldn't stand the thought of him facing the same consequences that your father had faced. You also couldn't believe that Satoru, with all of the respect he had for your mother's strength and resilience, could make such an irresponsible decision.

"Here let's go to the car, we can talk more when we get to the hotel okay?" Letting out a sigh your mother wiped your tears, seeing your doleful expression she knew there was more to the divorce.

Getting inside the car you could see Toji's frustrated face. Seeing Sumire argue with Megumi because he accidentally called you mommy. "No she's my mommy." Furrowing his eyebrow the small 5 year old feud with the toddler. Toji rolled his eyes propping his son to his lap. Scolding him for calling you mommy in front of Sumire even though Megumi wasn't your child.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his temples as he tried to reason with Megumi and Sumire. He glanced over at you, his expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, I know it's not your responsibility to have to deal with this." He said, shaking his head slightly before turning his attention back to the two children.

Sumire pouted his lips crossing his arms, "I don't care, she's my mommy!" Toji sighed heavily, trying to explain to Sumire that Megumi had made an honest mistake.

"Megumi didn't mean to call her mommy. He was just confused, so don't be mad at him, okay?" Toji said, giving Megumi a gentle hug.

Sumire reluctantly nodded his head, still looking a bit disappointed. You knew Sumire would probably not get along with Megumi because his school would always call you and tell you that your baby boy had picked a fight. Yelling at the school principal you remembered you called him and idiot for thinking your 5 year old angel would ever do that. Maybe now you actually seen his true side.

You had always been protective of Sumire, but you knew he was a handful. He had always been a spirited kid, and you knew that he was capable of mischievous behavior. Still, you had always been proud of him for being so independent and determined. Now, you were starting to see that those same qualities could also lead him into trouble. You could clearly see he got most of Satoru's personality. But he still had your nice mannered nature.

The whole ride home was 2 hours, you driving home you kept on looking at rear-view mirror. Seeing megumi and Sumire fast asleep on both of Toji's shoulders. He had his arms crossed and his head was thrown back. You could see his long lashes and the way his eye lids would twitch when the kids would move. You had to fight the urge to pull over and take a photo of the three of them, the moment was so peaceful and serene. But you decided not to disturb them, and kept on driving, admiring the moment in your head. The sun was setting and the orange light was reflecting off of Toji's hair, making him look like a prince from a fairytale. You let out a breath, and kept driving, content with the moment you just shared.

Your mother also fast asleep you were alone with your thoughts. Everyone was asleep in the car but you. You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you as you realized that you had to face him soon. You had no idea what to expect, and it scared you. You wished you had someone to talk to, to help you process your feelings and figure out what to do. But here you were, alone in the car, with no one to turn to. You sighed and took a deep breath, trying to push away the fear and uncertainty. There was only three days left before the wedding of your sister. She was so busy with getting things ready she rarely visited the hotel you were staying, but you didn't mind. You remembered how excited you were when you were planning your wedding with Satoru. You thought back to those days fondly, recalling how you both had laughed and cried together as you finalized the details and the guest list. You wished your sister all the best for her special day, although it was tinged with a bit of sadness as you realized that you wouldn't be able to experience the same joy that you had with Satoru.

Realizing that Satoru no longer cared about you, you felt stupid for still reminiscing the times you were together. It was finally time to move on and you knew it too. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the tears to stream down your face. You felt a bittersweet sadness as you accepted the truth of the situation. You slowly opened your eyes and wiped away the tears, feeling a newfound strength and resolve to move on with your life.

Stopping the car at the red light you quickly grabbed your phone. Seeing all the pictures you had with Satoru you chose to delete them all. Why would you have pictures of your cheating husband. He probably deleted all of the pictures he had of you. You felt a sense of relief knowing that he would no longer have any reminders of you. You had to move on and start a new life. Taking a deep breath, you slowly exhaled and deleted the last picture. You knew that the only way to move forward was to let go of the past.

Finally what felt like hours you made it to the hotel. Parking the car, you woke up your mom. Seeing her tired face you assumed she felt fatigue due to the airplane. Getting out the car you slammed the door, rushing towards Toji to help him with the kids. You gave your mom a hug and thanked her for coming. You were both relieved to be at the hotel, where you could finally rest after the tiring journey. You knew the trip would be worth it, and you were excited to explore the city with your family. Outside the hotel Satoru was waiting alone. He had his back on the wall, putting his hands in his pocket he walked towards you and your mother.

"Hello mom, how was the trip?" Grabbing Sumire out of the car Gojo carried him towards the hotel room. Your son tiredly groaned in discomfort, wrapping his tiny arms around Satoru.

"It was great, thank you. We had a lot of fun and saw some beautiful sights.”

How are you and Sumire doing?" Gojo smiled at his son as he shifted him in his arms, trying to make him more comfortable.

"Sumire is a bit tired from the trip, but he's doing well."

You stayed back to help Toji, getting Megumi out of the car the little toddler shifted his body. Making himself more comfortable you waited for Toji to get the luggage out the car. Already seeing your husband walking towards the hotel with your mom.

"He's fast asleep, guess you're going to have to stay at my room again, huh?" You took a deep breath, feeling the cool breeze of the night, before turning back to Megumi. Rubbing his back you grabbed one of the blankets you brought for Sumire originally. Seeing the small kid shake in cold you placed it on top of him.

Toji smiled softly at the sight. "You're so good with him." He said, his voice laced with admiration. "It's like he trusts you more than he trusts me."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "It's not like that." You said, brushing a strand of hair away from Megumi's face. "He's just comfortable with me."

"Does your mom know about the cheating?" Shaking your head you said no. Telling Toji how you were going to tell your mom after the whole wedding was done not wanting to ruin it for you sister.

"It's not worth ruining my sister's big day with this," you said with a sigh. "I'll tell her after the wedding is over. I know she's going to be disappointed, but she'll understand."

Waiting for the elevator Megumi kept on adjusting himself. Pulling the toddler closer you silently shushed him. "Shh... go to sleep honey." Moving side to side you gently smiled seeing him burying his face on the crook of your neck.

The elevator door opened and you stepped in. You pressed the button to your floor and the elevator started to move. As you felt the gentle lull of the elevator, the toddler dozed off in your arms. You held him close, thankful for the peaceful moment. "Where's Sumire going to sleep?"

Remembering that you usually shared a bed with megumi and Toji slept on the couch you didn't want to tell Toji to leave to his room for some reason. "He can go to bed with me but you can also sleep with me, besides the bed is big enough for us since the kids are small."Stepping out of the elevator you were met with Satoru's gaze.

"It's just for tonight." You said, feeling a bit embarrassed. Toji nodded in understanding before continuing the conversation.

"I think it's a good idea." He said, and you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that he didn't seem to judge you for it.

"Where's my mother?" Grabbing the keys you put it in the keyhole. Rubbing his neck Satoru avoided your gaze. All the memories of last nights fling coming back.

"She's in her room, said she was going to sleep." Opening the door you nodded and let out a deep sigh, relieved that she was okay. You thanked Satoru for his help and walked inside the room. You could feel his eyes following you as you walked away, but you didn't turn back. Toji behind you, closing the door you could see Satoru's blue eyes stare back at yours. With a sigh you placed the toddler in your arms down on the bed. Toji doing the same with Sumire he excused himself to go to the restroom to brush his teeth. You watched him with a smile as he stumbled out of the room and closed the door behind him. You took a moment to take in the peacefulness of the room. The two children were now cuddled up in the bed with their blankets. You smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of accomplishment in taking care of the two of them. You walked over to the bed and kissed each of their foreheads before changing your clothes. Taking your shirt off you decided to wear one of your loose shirts you borrowed from Toji, wearing sweatpants to accompany the outfit.

Exiting the restroom Toji took off his shirt. You didn't mind seeing Toji shirtless since it wasn't your first time. The first time he stayed at your hotel room he took off his shirt, asking if you were okay with it. Your reaction was priceless, feeling your face hot you remembered how you instantly ran to the restroom to wash your face from all the thoughts lingering in your mind. You had to admit his body was perfect, his toned abs and biceps were enough to make your heart skip a beat. His perfect V-line and broad shoulders were something you couldn't help but admire.

Toji was a sight to behold, and you were lucky to have him as a friend. Stretching your hands you walked towards the bathroom, making sure to wash your face and brush your teeth before going to sleep. Seeing your face you noticed that your skin was getting the natural glow you had lost after the few nights of crying. Washing your face you felt your skin against the cold water.

As the water ran down your face, you felt a sense of relief. The feeling of relief was so strong that you could almost feel the heavy weight of the day lifting off your shoulders. Taking a deep breath you felt a wave of calm wash over you. You knew that it was time to get some much-needed rest. You gently patted your face dry with a soft towel and looked into the mirror. Finishing brushing your teeth you exited the bathroom. Walking towards the bed you could already see Toji laying down. The kids fast asleep next to him. You crept slowly towards the bed, careful not to wake anyone. As you looked at the peaceful scene before you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and contentment fill your heart. You lay down beside Toji and snuggled close. You drifted off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that you were surrounded by the ones you loved the most.

Waking up you silently got up, seeing both kids snuggled up with Toji you couldn't help but smile. You quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face. You then crept back into the bedroom and watched the peaceful scene before you. It was a moment of pure bliss and happiness and you cherished it, before slipping out of the bedroom and starting your day. Checking to see if you had received any messages you were surprised to see that your sister had texted you.

Sis; Goodmorning! Im having a small party at my house, i have something to announce so please come quick.

Liking her message you walked towards Toji, seeing his sleeping figure you couldn't help but feel a tiny bit bad that you were going to wake him up. You slowly shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up gently. He stirred in his sleep, groaning he sat up.

His eyes opened, and he squinted at you in confusion. "What's up?" he asked, still half asleep. When he saw it was you, he smiled, his eyes crinkling with warmth. You couldn't help but feel relieved, knowing he was in a good mood.

You showed him the text message, and he just nodded. "My sister needs us, let's give the kids a bath and then go."

Grabbing sleeping megumi he woke him up, you doing the same you grabbed Sumire and placed him on your side. Ruffling his hair he rubbed his eyes, still half asleep he placed his head on your chest. Sumire groaned and opened his eyes, blinking a few times he tried to adjust to the sudden light. He glanced at you and smiled, then snuggled closer and yawned. You smiled down at him and whispered "Good morning, Sumire".

Both of you walking towards the restroom you placed Sumire down, making sure the bathtub was being filled with warm water you were relieved to feel the water warm enough. Undressing Sumire you threw his clothes to the side before putting him onto the bathtub. You slowly put Sumire inside the bathtub and started washing him gently with a sponge, making sure to clean every inch of his body. You added a small amount of shampoo to his hair and began to massage it softly. As you were doing this, you could hear Sumire humming softly, showing how comfortable he was with the situation. Megumi in the other hand was crying so much. Toji didn't know what to do because he rarely gave Megumi a bath he would always shower with him instead.

Giggling at the current scene you came to the rescue, switching positions with Toji you let him scrub Sumire's hair while you bathed Megumi. The little body immediately stopped crying when you came to his aid.

"Kids going to be the death of me." Groaning he let out a sigh, placing more shampoo on Sumire's hair. He had a look of relief on his face as he handed you the shampoo for Megumi.

You smiled and thanked him before kneeling to Megumi's level, and beginning to lather his hair. He still had a look of terror on his face, but his cries had softened into quiet sobs. You worked quickly and quietly, trying to get his hair washed and rinsed before he started wailing again.

You smiled reassuringly as you finished, and he finally seemed to relax. "There we go," you said softly. "All done."

Switching again, Sumire was just playing with water. Sumire had been playing with the water in the bathtub happily, splashing it around and enjoying himself. He was getting a bit too wild, however, and some of the suds from the shampoo got into his eyes, making them sting. You told him to close his eyes and carefully rinsed off the shampoo before it caused any further discomfort. After he was all clean, you grabbed a towel and wrapped him up. Carefully, you lifted Sumire up and took him to the bedroom. You gently dried him off with the towel before carefully changing him into a fresh set of dry clothes. Once he was dressed, you made sure he was comfortable.

Toji doing the same you both got ready quickly before grabbing your bags and heading out the door towards your sister's beach house.

Already entering the house you walked to the back of the house. Seeing everyone gathered around the small patio that led to the beach. Everyone was wearing shorts and dresses. You had nothing but a small sun dress you decided to wear under your swimsuit if you decided to go in the water later. You smiled to yourself in contentment as you took in the scene. The sun was shining brightly, the sand was glistening, and the waves were crashing against the shore. You took a deep breath of the salty air and felt the warm sun on your skin. It was a perfect day for a beach party.

"You made it!" Giving you a hug your sister smiled at you, she had a beautiful white sundress on that made her look like an absolute goddess compared to you. You could say she got the good genes of the family.

"I wouldn't dare to miss this." Hugging her back you separated yourself before calling Sumire over to introduce himself to his aunt.

Sumire timidly stepped forward, bowing his head in respect. You could see the excitement in his eyes as he smiled shyly at his aunt. "It's nice to meet you," he said.

His aunt smiled warmly and said "It's nice to meet you too, Sumire. I'm so glad you could come today. You probably don't remember me because I met you when you were super tiny!" She said warmly.

"The guests should be arriving soon," your sister said as she looked at the clock. "Can you help me unpack?" You nodded and followed her into the guest bedroom, picking up a suitcase from the floor. Together, you quickly unpacked and neatly arranged the clothes and toiletries in the dresser and closet. Soon, everything was in its place, ready for the arrival of your family's guests.

Closing the door, she walked to the closet and pulled out a small box. "I want you to be the first person to see this," she said, handing you the box with a smile. Confused, you slowly opened it and found baby clothes and a t-shirt that read "World's Best Aunt." Instantly, you realized that she was announcing her pregnancy and you were going to be an aunt. Overwhelmed with joy, you hugged her tightly as tears of happiness streamed down your face. You couldn't wait to meet your new niece or nephew and spoil them with love and affection.

"Oh my god. How far along are you??" You exclaimed, your eyes widening in surprise as you took in your sister's growing belly. You couldn't help but feel overjoyed for her - it had always been her dream to have a child and now it was finally coming true.

"Im just a few weeks along. Im so happy because we can finally have children around the same age!" Suddenly, your excitement turned into confusion and amusement as you realized that Sumire was still a toddler and she was talking about having children around the same age.

"This means we can go shopping together for baby clothes! Aren't you happy?" she asked, looking at you with a big smile. "Remember when we used to dream about this when we were kids?" she continued, giggling with excitement.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Your sisterlooked at you with a puzzled expression, clearly not understanding why you found her statement funny. "What are you talking about Marie?”

"I'm talking about the baby, silly!" Marie exclaimed, rolling her eyes playfully. She leaned in closer to you and placed her hands on your growing belly. "I can't believe you're going to be a mom soon!" she said with a smile.

“No. You’re just making things up.” you could feel anger building up.

"Aren't you pregnant?" I overheard Gojo and Suguru talking about you being pregnant." Stunned by what she was saying, you took a step back, unsure of how to respond.

“What exactly did you hear marie.” Your eyebrows were furrowed.

“Geez, why are you so mad? all i heard was satoru saying that someone was pregnant and Suguru looked shocked so i assumed it was you.” It couldn’t be right? Theres no way he had gotten Jiyuu pregnant. Shaking your head you put down the box on the bed. “I have to go.”

"Wait!" throwing everything onto the bed, you could hear your sister running after you. Running down the stairs, you could just hear the sound of your heels hitting the hard wood. Everyone was outside talking, and you could feel the anger rushing through your body as you ran towards the doors. Walking outside, you spotted Satoru talking to Suguru and Shoko, his hands in his pockets and a dumb smile on his face. Seeing that only made you even more angry.

You were fuming with anger towards Satoru for betraying your trust. "How dare you!" you shouted, unable to control your emotions. Your sister's voice calling your name snapped you back to reality as you pushed past everyone to stand next to Satoru. "Y/N?" he asked, confused by your sudden outburst and heavy breathing. But before he could finish, you slapped him across the face, causing everyone around to gasp in shock.

"How could you, Satoru?" His face was stunned as he looked at you in disbelief. You had just slapped him in front of everyone. "What did I do?" Confused, he quickly grabbed your hand before you could slap him again.

letting out a deep breath you could feel the tears building up. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and looked at the scene. “First i was fine with you leaving me for another women but getting her pregnant?!” You could feel the tension in the air as everyone held their breath, waiting for your next words. Your sister's eyes widened in disbelief, her gaze shifting between you and Jiyuu, who stood next to Nanami, casually eating a cupcake. It was clear that the news of Gojo getting another woman pregnant had caught everyone off guard. Letting out a deep breath, you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over from the hurt and betrayal you were feeling.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Gojo looked at everyone and started apologizing.

"Sorry everyone, she's just tired," he said, placing his hand on your shoulder. Clenching your teeth, you moved away. "No, Satoru. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of pretending like we're still together.”

"What's going on?" suddenly your sister's fiancé appeared. "What's going on is that Satoru cheated on me with Jiyuu and she's pregnant," you sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. As Satoru began to angrily grab your hand, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. His eyes were filled with anger, and you knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“what? is this true?” asking Satoru just sighed.

“Yes, me and Jiyuu are together and we are expecting.” The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. After all this time, Satoru had moved on and was now with Jiyuu. They were expecting a child together, and you knew that meant he was no longer the father of my child. You would have to share that bond with another woman, and it was a harsh reminder that you were truly alone in this world.

Wiping away your tears you knew it was the end. The end of your marriage. “Im leaving.” walking past your sister you could see the hurt filled in her eyes. “Im sorry Marie i didn’t mean to ruin your party, as for everyone else please pretend this never happened and make this a good day for her.” Being the bigger person you walked back into the house. Grabbing your purse and keys you realized that Toji took you here. Not wanting to see his face after everything you just grabbed sumires hand and walked out. Hopefully there was a bus station you could go to.

“Mommy?” Lifting Sumrie you held him in your arms. Kissing his head before walking to a random direction. You continued to walk aimlessly, deep in thought. The weight of your child in your arms brought you a sense of comfort, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that seemed to be following you. As you walked, you couldn't help but think, "Could this day possibly get any worse?"

You made your way to the bus stop and sat down on the bench, letting out a deep sigh of relief. The events of the day had drained you both physically and emotionally, and all you wanted was to escape into a peaceful slumber. As you waited for the bus, you closed your eyes and let the exhaustion wash over you, finally finding a moment of calm amidst the chaos. Should you have really blurted everything out and potentially caused harm to those you care about? You couldn't help but feel guilty as you stared at your phone. The missed calls from your sister, Satoru, and Toji were a reminder of the consequences of your actions.

You couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if you had kept your thoughts to yourself.

Taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @creolequeen11210 @yevene @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode @lilith412426 @meojjjsworld @pandoraium @dcvilxswish @cloudsinthecosmos @alurafairy

#gojou satoru x y/n #gojou satoru x you #gojo x reader #cheating gojou #cheating gojo #jjk #jjk angst #gojo satoru #gojo angst #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #cheating #jjk gojo #jjk x you #gojo x you #gojo smut #gojo x y/n #dilf toji #toji x reader

[choccy-milky]

1. your fic is absolutely amazing. Have been bingeing it and I’m literally obsessed. The way you write just itches my brain in such a good way, literally cannot contain my love and appreciation for your work👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 cheers to you!!! Can’t wait to keep reading

2. As I was reading I found out you also deadass drawing the art to go w/ the fic?? Literally you’re living my dream 😭 plus your art is so so so well done!!!!! It’s added so much joy to my reading experience

Cannot wait to see what else you have in store!!’ Hope you have an amazing, AMAZING day, week, year, etc.!!!! 💞🙌🏻🫶🏻

OMG IM GONNA CRY 😭😭 BAHAHA U SENT THIS AT SUCH A CRAZY MOMENT cuz i just checked my ao3 comments and was down about a rude comment i got, and then i come to tumblr and like, a few mins later/literally AS i was venting about it, u send this BAHAHA your choccy senses were tingling. IM SO GLAD U LIKE IT THO AND THAT YOURE ENJOYING IT (and my drawings, even if youve defs seen spoilers by now BAHHA) hope u have a good day too, u defs brightened mine!! THANK UUUU💖💖💖

@kaviary-blog this looks so funny bc i censored u just to keep it (mostly) spoiler free BUT AW THANK U DAMN IM HONOURED THAT MY FANFIC WAS THE ONE TO MAKE YOU CRY?? IM SO HAPPY HOW INVESTED YOU ARE 😭😭💖💖 im also super happy with that chap and its so satisfying like you said to finally be able to tie of all those threads so IM GLAD IT WAS WORTH IT💖

@lovesicklovermia ONE DAY???? OMG. FIRST TWO DAYS NOW ONE?? ITS JUST GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER. next thing i know someones gonna be like yeah so i took some highly experimental drug that lets me read at 1000% the pace of a normal person, and i finished ur fic in 2 hours 😍omg loved it!!!😍😍 BAHAHAHA but omg i totally see what u mean, they do HAHA. AND THANK U💖💖 IM GLAD UR LIKING IT💖

YEAH so in my fic fifth years are 16, and by the time things get....explicit....clora and seb are 17. im not against consuming media with teenagers depicted in sexual situations like euphoria or riverdale or w.e else bc i get that its fiction and these are just real things that happen so its fine to write about them, but their canonical ages of 15 was still too young for me and i wanted them to be 17 before it got the E rating (which is why clora and sebs birthdays end up being so close, bc i was RUSHING for them to turn 17 BAHAHHAA)

BAHAHA clora and seb secretly being together is like the most poorly kept secret in my fic, like im sure her parents technically KNOW, but due to old fashioned traditions and whatnot (and it being 1891) seb wants to be able to propose properly and with a proper ring, bc clive is intimidating and he doesnt wanna just be like "yeah so im dating your daughter and weve already fucked and i plan to marry her" LOOL he wants to do things properly and be with her with her dads permission(even tho its a bit late for that HAHA) BUT WE CAN JUST PRETEND. tldr its basically just out of some sense of chivalry on sebs side, a fear of her dad, and wanting to do things right LOL

ALSO WAIT OMG STOPPPPP I WAS LITERALLY JUST ABOUT TO POST THIS BUTI HAVE TO INCLUDE THIS NOW

YOU SAW MY POST AND IMMEDIATELY DREW THIS AS A RESPONSE WHILE IN CLASS?? BAHAHAHA IM ACTUALLY SO TOUCHED RN IM TEARING UP WTF THATS SO SWEET OF YOU WTFFFFFFFFF THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭💖💖 (NOW PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!!🤬🤬)

#ask #rude comment?? forgotten. coke zero?? SLURPED #the irony of drawing CLORA in class bc she would disapprove and want u to pay attention BAHAHAH

[pepperpixel]

Me, after several years of feeling haunted by the fact that I know I used to be able to draw better. And I used to have fun and feel satisfied w what I created. Believing that my art skills and enjoyment deteriorated because of like. Age! Like my brain just rotted over time or something: messes around w settings after re downloading fire alpaca and turns off the toggle for “adjust brush size to pen pressure”. And fUCKING. REALIZING THATS WHAT ITS BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?!?!? I never ever ever correlated my getting a tablet to my decline in art cuz I was also in a huge depression then and that just seemed more likely to blame! Also cuz the tablet was cool! It made things easier! BUT FUCKING. TURNING OFF THE LIL PEN PRESSURE THING IS LIKE. GAH- IM DRAWING LIKE IM FUCKING 16 AGAIN!!!! LOOK AT THOSE LINES…!! ON THE 2ND & 3RD PICTURE.!!! THE STYLE. IM SHITTING MYSELF..! Like legit gonna cry actual tears of fucking joy about this… I had basically almost given up ever really being satisfied w my art again??? But I fucking….! I finally figured it out!!!!! Holy shit!!!!! * falls down on the floor and dies of relief *

But yeah….. anyway. Aside from the massive art revelation/return to form… This photo set is featuring more of me and Ghastjio’s ocs! Non-homestuck ones this time! They’re scientists doing research and experiments on dreams and the subconscious and such! They’re also def all slightly varying levels of evil/moral dubious… cuz. I cannot resist an evil doctor…. And they’re also. Definitely a polycule gGHG. Cuz. I also can’t resist that shit lol

Yellow = Dr. In

Pink = Dr. Somn

Blue = Dr. Nia

Add them all together! And It equals insomnia! And it took me!!! A ridiculously long time to realize that ghghg- Like several days after ghast first showed them to me lol, but! I got it eventually! That’s all that matters

#there’s still room for improvement in those 2 pics without the pen pressure too. like the colors specifically. #bUT. THE LINES. I ACTUALLY LIKE THE LINES!!!! IM!?!?!?! SATISFIED W THEM!!! AND DONT THINK THEY LOOK MESSY OR SKETCHY?? #lIKE HOW IVE FELT ABOUT MOST OF MY LINE ART FOR THE PAST SEVERAL YEARS #gOD. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! #im so… im ridiculously fucking happy…. I rlly just thought I was like… unable to do art that I rlly LIKED again #like I’ve done art whet I felt it was good enough! and I would TRY and see the positives. try not to be too hard on myself. but I rlly. #didnt truly like anything I made…. #so just… god. god fucking damn man #doodles #dr in #dr somn #dr nia #Somn and Nia have like a kismesitude sorta thing going on lol #also in doesnt always have a tail or horns or sand claw thing! he can sorta shapeshift. #me at in: mr sandman~ man me a sand~ #anyway… YEAH! pls enjoy art lol #long post #??? #i mean I don’t feel like it’s THAT long but.. I’ll tag it just in case ghgh #I somn wearing a crop top or not? I don’t know! it changes depending on the picture lol! I cannot decide! #also!!! in case it isn’t super clear. In = sun. Somn = moon (and also sorta clouds but shush). and Nia = Stars! #IN.SOMN.NIA #or #the insomnia experiment #are both! possible titles for the world/story these guys are in!

[imjustdreamingig]

medieval times with the pevensie's

Heres a strange little headcanon/au/meta I'm not sure what they're called :

I had a thought, imagine if the Pevensie's story took place present day (as in the 2000's)

When the Pevensie's returned from their first trip to Narnia, they were miserable, confused and in bodies two sizes too small.

Their mother noticed something off about them when she went to pick them up at the train station when they returned from the country. Her children might look the same yes, but there was something different in the way they held themselves. The glint in their eyes were not ones of childish innocence but of ones that had seen horrors many have not even seen in their nightmares.

As the weeks passed, Helen began to notice that her children's odd behavior was probably not going away anytime soon. There was always a sad tilt to their smiles even when they assured her that everything was alright. Helen couldn't bring herself to mention that she did indeed notice the amount of worried and hurried whispers going around between the four, as she didn't want another lie told to her face. She would rather them come to her in their own time and not pressure them into telling her anything.

Helen noticed how her children never hung out with any of their friends anymore and that they rarely watched T.V. or used their phones. She constantly had to remind them that at least one of them, namely Peter, had to take a cellphone whenever the four of them went on walks which was quite odd because who ever heard of a teen not obsessed with their phones?

Another thing that struck Helen as odd was that it was always just the four of them on their walks. They invited no one else with them, that she knew of anyways, but they never mentioned anyone else once they returned.

After noticing her children's odd behavior, she decided to do something to treat them, to lift their spirits and maybe see a genuine smile on their faces for once. She saw on T.V. a commercial for this place called Medieval Times and thought that this would be a perfect place to take her children to. It seemed entertaining, exciting and an event that she thought would contain elements that would interest all four of her children.

The siblings, mainly Peter and Edmund, had suddenly taken an unusual interest in using fake swords they ordered off of Amazon and having sparring matches in the backyard whenever they thought Helen wasn't home. She would briefly catch a glimpse of them whenever she arrived early from work and was surprised to notice how good they were. Susan and Lucy would cheer them on from the sides and occasionally Lucy would join in the sparring, the fluidity of her movements causing another shock of surprise from her mother.

She then called the number displayed on the screen and since she called because of that specific ad, she got a decent discount on their tickets.

On Saturday morning, Helen awoke long before her alarm was set to ring. She went about her morning routine before waking up the children. Lucy was naturally an early riser so she got up with no problem which always baffled Edmund because who would willingly wake up early with no complaints? Which is why it was no surprise that Helen had to practically drag Edmund out of bed who kept groaning until Peter, who had woken up because of the amount of noise they were making told him to stop and to get ready.

Helen found it very strange that all of her children would listen attentively to whatever Peter said and would do whatever he asked them to with practically no hesitance, even Edmund who fought the most with Peter before leaving for the country. That had taken a lot to get used to, although she was glad that the level of fighting and shouting had diminished. She oddly kind of missed the noise.

Meanwhile, Susan was standing by the doorway having gotten up right after Peter and was watching the scene before her unfold. She was reminiscing the now bittersweet memories from back in Narnia when she herself had to drag Edmund out of bed whenever they had to have a particular earlier start to the day. She sighed and left the rest of her family to head back into her room to get ready, pushing back the memories of Narnia and focusing on choosing what outfit she was going to wear for the day.

About an hour had passed and everyone was set to go. The Pevensies piled into the minivan, because of course the Pevensie's had a mini van, with Peter in the passenger seat, Susan and Edmund in the next row and Lucy in the backseat. Although they had asked politely, she would not give the children any clues as to where they were going.

Helen slowly found herself getting used to the level of formality it seemed her children now acquired. It seemed she found herself getting used to a lot of changes in their behavior ever since the children returned from the country. She didn't notice the discreet nervous glances the siblings shared as they really didn't like not knowing where they were being taken, each of them recalling a specific occurrence back in Narnia with much disdain.

When they arrived and approached the main entrance of the building where the name Medieval Times was proudly displayed, the four siblings exchanged glances that to outsiders would've revealed nothing but gave the impression as though they were having entire conversations with just a few short looks. Helen noticed the sudden silence from her children and although she did not know why, she began to feel a little worried.

Once they had taken their seats in the front row so they were directly in front of the stadium and been told which team they were going to cheer for, Helens anxiousness grew when the children, even Lucy, declined the option to wear any of the plastic crowns they offered the crowd to show support for their given teams. She was sure she saw a look of mild disgust when Edmund took notice of what was clearly two fake swords crossed over each other and mounted on the wall on the way to their seats.

She didn't notice however, the slight tremble in Susan's hand when her gaze fell upon a bow with a quiver of arrows clearly made of plastic in the display case of the gift shop, or how Lucy went slightly pale when her eyes came across a small dagger made out of cheap metal with silver stones embedded into its hilt, or how Peter's eyes turned cold when he spotted an inaccurate imitation of what was supposed to be a medieval sword and shield displayed in a glass case right in the center of the room.

When the show finally began and the horses galloped out into the stadium with the 'knights' mounted on top of them, their team colors proudly displayed on the flags each of them held, she saw out of the corner of her eyes how Edmund who was sitting beside her, slowly placed his hand on top of Peter's who was gripping the arm of the chair so tightly his knuckles were going white. Susan, who was in between Peter and Lucy, wrapped her arms around Lucy's shoulders, but this action went unbeknownst to Helen as her line of sight was partially blocked.

The whole crowd was cheering and applauding their respective teams, laughter and screams filling the stadium, but there was no noise coming from any of the Pevensie siblings. They weren't even trying to pretend they were enjoying themselves, too caught up in certain memories during their times in a certain land. The wounds were still too fresh, it had only been a little less than a month since they'd returned. The pit of anxiousness in Helens stomach only grew with each passing moment.

Half an hour went by and still none of the siblings said a word, their steely eyes were firmly fixed on the events happening below them, a mostly stoic expression donning each of their faces. Helen's worry only grew and she was beginning to silently panic. She didn't understand what invisible force was holding her back, why she couldn't bring herself to ask her children what was wrong.

Maybe it was because when she glanced over at them she didn't see children, but for a brief moment a vision of grown men and women sitting straight backed, their heads held high with their chins raised ever so slightly. She had to blink several times because she was quite sure she saw a gleam of silver and gold coming from the top of Edmund and Peter's head, as if there were crowns perched on their heads a mere few seconds ago. She shook her head of the absurd thoughts filling it, blaming the illusions she'd just been presented on the lack of water she'd drank that day and turned her attention to the front once more.

When the actually fighting between the knights began, that's when things took a turn for the worse. As the knights were sparring and performed what looked like some rather complicated moves with their swords to the rest of the audience, Edmund beside her finally showed signs of life and leaned back into his seat. As he crossed his arms, he scoffed and rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how uncoordinated the wrist movement was and that their stance was atrocious. Helen was shocked. Since when did Edmund use words such as atrocious?

She then saw similar behavior from Peter although it was slightly more reserved, but one could still notice the hint of disapproval when he sighed and shook his head. Helen was even more shocked when Lucy actually booed at one point. She wasn't that loud but before she could say anything else, Susan leaned down and murmured something into Lucy's ear. At first Lucy looked offended but then a resigned look fell upon her face as she nodded. Even so, Helen was still surprised to see the hint of sadness that was present in Susan's eyes as she turned to face the front, this time able to see her arm once again wrapping around Lucy's shoulders and the placement of her other arm in the crook of Peter's elbow.

When the fourth pair of knights began to fight, Helen felt a charge in the air before anything happened. The temperature in the room had risen and those around the Pevensie's began to feel warm and sweaty. Suddenly, Peter leapt up from his chair and onto his feet. He had grown restless and had enough of watching inexperienced amateurs who had no idea how to handle a sword, pass off as though they were naturals in that specific art of combat with a certain air of superiority around them. Peter couldn't establish if it was actually there surrounding them or if his rage was causing him to see things.

Peter's patience snapped as he directed his harsh glare at the closest knights in front of him, all whilst maintaining a relatively calm look on his face which made him look that much more terrifying. With his arms clenched at his side, Peter spoke in a voice Helen had never heard coming out of the mouth of her son, laced with disgust and a mocking undertone. As Peter spoke she felt many things at once; curiosity, fear, and surprisingly shame as if though she was getting scolded by someone who caught her doing something against the rules.

The strangest thing however, was that she felt as if she was standing in the presence of someone with high authority, someone in a position of power that knew what they were doing, that addressed their company in a tone that made it clear that they were in charge. How she felt this way when staring up at her son with eyes wide, she does not know.

"By the mane," Peter said under his breath before a slight scowl graced his lips and a booming voice filled the air, "are you seriously acting as though you know what you're doing? With that footwork and those feebly attempted strikes you'll end up killing yourself before you even lay a blow on your oppone- Susan get off of m- Lucy do not encourage her, Ed what n-"

The knights turned to look at the source of whoever was shouting with a slightly affronted look on their faces as did a lot of people in the audience. They were shocked to see that it was merely a young boy who looked as though he had a lot more to say before being grabbed by what the knight assumed were his siblings or friends.

Peter had always been a composed man for the sake of keeping up appearances for his subjects in Narnia. Many of its inhabitants had learned to fear the rare outbursts of the High King's anger. When Peter snapped and let his anger loose, there was no going back. His anger was similar to a fire, at first a small flame yet still capable of burning you if you got too close until eventually, it grew into a monster filled with heat and rage, finally let free of its cage and seeking to destroy everything in its path. It became uncontrollable to the point that not even Lucy could manage to tame it automatically.

Ever since the Pevensie's stumbled out of Narnia, Peter's been a ticking time bomb, slowly counting down the seconds until he finally exploded. The tension in Peter's chest has been brewing, growing tighter with each passing day without a glimpse of a possibility of returning to Narnia, of going home.

With all the anger and the resentment Peter's been keeping away from prying eyes, his siblings are surprised and mildly impressed he's been able to keep a handle on his emotions until now. They all knew that Peter's pride and his role as High King would prevent him from answering truthfully if any of them had outright asked Peter if he needed to talk.

To make up for this but still looking for ways to support their eldest brother, Lucy made it her personal goal to make Peter laugh as much as possible at the many jokes she'd say and the joking banter she'd try to make him participate in. Susan would lace her arm through his at random points of the day, knowing that although it was a simple action, it was a way of responding to all the unspoken words between them but were ever so visible in the way Peter's eyes would occasionally appear bloodshot red whenever he sat down for breakfast. Edmund would come into Peter's room and sit down on his bed and talk about a plot of either a book he'd been reading, a movie he remembered watching, what he saw their neighbors doing in the morning, anything to distract Peter from the thoughts plaguing his mind.

Susan, Edmund and Lucy all knew deep down the moment they realized where their mothers surprise was taking place that this would be the final straw for Peter. They were both in some ways relieved that he would finally be able to release all the built up tension wound tightly in his chest but also nervous about its outcome.

Which is why when Peter suddenly stood up from his seat about to reprimand the so called 'knights', they sprung into action. They were expecting this and Peter's reaction didn't come to them as much of a surprise. They really couldn't blame Peter for this to be the deciding factor for his upcoming actions. Every move that was supposedly meant to imitate real sword fights of the past made the rest of the Pevensie's siblings grimace as well.

As they led him out into the hallway outside of the arena, Lucy had swung one of Peter's arms over her shoulders, her hand clutching his with the other wrapped around his waist. Susan grabbed his forearm and gently pulled him in the direction of the exit despite his protests. There was a reason both girls had the task of leading him out into the hallway, it was because they had a better chance of not being shoved aside and walking back down to the arena to continue his verbal assault on the knights quite frankly embarrassing display of a sword fight. If it had been Edmund leading him it might've been a different story.

Edmund was directly behind Peter, ready to take matters into his own hands if Peter did indeed end up trying to escape the holds of his sisters. Edmund knew Peter however, and knew his desperation would never get to that point. On the rare occasions Peter lost his composure in front of visiting dignitaries back in Narnia, all he needed was a gentle reminder from his siblings, a touch or a glance to remind him of his position. Unless he was in the battlefield, there no one who could stop Peter on his path to claim another victory for Narnia.

As the children led Peter outside they did not notice the pairs of eyes that followed them as they went, or realize that they had left their mother behind, still sitting in her seat with her mouth agape. Once she shook herself from her stupor, she hastily grabbed her belongings as well as the coat Lucy left behind and rushed to catch up with her children, leaving two very red faced knights openly staring at her as she left, not quite understanding what had just happened.

The people in the audience who did not take notice Peter's outburst started to wonder why the two knights had stopped their sparing and what made them do so? It was likely that the supervisors of the show noticed this too as a voice over the intercom announced they would be taking a short intermission and if all the knights would please make their way to backstage. They did although say to make their way into the castle to not ruin the medieval effect they were trying to push across.

When Helen finally caught up with her children the siblings were making their way to the car. She noticed Peter's shoulders were slightly slumped and that Susan was rubbing her hand across his back as they walked, Lucy's right hand grasped in Peter's left. Edmund was now walking in front of them and leading the way to the car. Helen didn't know wether to be furious at the display she had just witnessed her son put on or be worried about his well being.

As she approached them to where they were leaning on the car, her mouth opened to either scold Peter or console him, which one she would end up saying she did not know. Right when she was about to speak Edmund shot her a glance that made whatever words that had formed die in her throat. She closed her mouth and looked at her second youngest with an astonished expression on her face, wondering how a single look from her son made her quiet but more importantly, why she had done it without question?

She glanced at Edmund once more and noticed a stern look dominating his face. Once again a strange feeling washed over her and she couldn't help but read into his expression a little more than she should, the words 'royalty' and 'kings and queens' once again danced in her brain. Once again, she shook her head and reprimed herself of thinking those silly notions, unlocked the car and motioned for the kids to get in, confused but understanding that now wasn't the time to address the situation at hand.

No one spoke on the ride home. 10 minutes into the journey, Helen turned on the radio to hopefully ease the tension that stifled the small space. In all honesty, she turned it on to avoid any awkward moments between her and the children and to have something to distract her on the tedious journey home.

Lucy had offered to sit in the passenger seat and Helen didn't object. Lucy didn't dance or sing along to any of the songs on the radio as she usually did. Instead, she leaned her elbow on the window ledge, a small frown lacing her lips as her unmoving eyes took in the scenery. Edmund, Peter and Susan squished into the middle row with Peter in between them. There was no doubt that it was a tight fit and they must've not been very comfortable but no one seemed to mind the cramped space, their bodies having practically no air between them with their shoulders and legs pressed tightly together.

Susan had her hand placed delicately on Peters thigh as she too like Lucy, took in the scenery outside the window yet her eyes were unmoving. Edmund had his head leaning on Peters shoulder. The first time she had seen him do this gave Helen a startled shock but she had quickly gotten used to all of her children's now physical behavior with one other.

As Helen looked into the rearview mirror and took in the scene displayed before her she couldn't help a pang of hurt from developing inside her as she wondered not for the first time today and certainly not for the first time since she had picked up the children from the train station; "Are they even my children anymore, let alone children? What happened to them in the country that they refuse to talk to me about?"

When Helen pulled into the driveway of their house since it's not really home to the siblings anymore is it, that's when Peter finally decided to say something for the first time since leaving the venue. As they got out of the car the rest of the siblings headed inside with slight nod to Edmund that he would follow shortly. Before Helen made her way to the front door Peter pulled his mother in for a hug.

Helen was not a very tall woman so Peter didn't need to strain himself too much to give his mother a proper hug. Startled by the abrupt display of affection directed towards her, it took Helen a moment before she wrapped her arms around Peter as well. Peter then pulled back and apologized for his actions and for ruining his mothers surprise. He said he didn't mean for his temper to get out of control and to shout at those men who were only doing their jobs. He promised to make it up to his mother soon and that he would learn to better keep his emotions in check.

When Helen asked the inevitable question of why Peter had acted the way he did, his face paled slightly, guilt laden in his eyes. His gaze shifted towards the ground for a moment before they eventually met hers again, his gaze now unwavering as he promptly told her that it reminded him of something that he'd seen in the country, but not to worry as he had it all sorted. Helen later blamed it on a trick of light when once again a flash of a broken adult, not child, appeared before her in that moment.

It was only because Helen saw beneath the broken mask Peter was desperately trying to keep firmly in place that she sighed and said alright. She didn't exactly know the reason why Peter had such a pained expression in his eyes but nevertheless, she pulled him into another hug. Not for the first time Helen whispered in his ear that if he ever needed to talk to someone she was there, and not for the first time Peter chuckled and promised that he would. They both secretly knew it would never happen.

Helen knew that she wouldn't find out the sole reason as to why Peter had reacted in such a manner that day and as she climbed into bed that night, she realized she never will. She realized that ever since her children came back from the country there were bound to be more instances where her children's motives would never be fully revealed to her. Peter's expression out in the driveway was proof of it.

Helen took into account the sadness she noticed in Peter's eyes and the noticeable weight that pressed firmly on his shoulders which is why she wasn't terribly harsh on him or pushed him to reveal anything he clearly wasn't comfortable talking about with her, even though that realization hurt her very much. Pain, even if not understood by everyone around them, was still pain, and she was not going to cause her son any more of it.

That did not mean she was going to let him go unpunished however, Peter still acted out in a crude manner in public and directed it towards other people. She grounded him for a week with dishes duty for every meal and with no electronics, but something told her Peter didn't really mind having to go without an electronic device for that long as he already did so anyways.

Helen also made note of not planning any more huge surprise trips like to the now off limits Medieval Times unless she was absolutely certain it was a place her children would enjoy going to or they had straight up told her they'd like to go there in the first place. In fact, she decided that from now on surprise trips or any huge surprises for that matter, were to be put on pause until further notice which probably meant forever.

No one got much sleep that night and if she heard three pairs of footsteps heading towards Peter's room in the middle of the night and hushed whispers for the rest of it, Helen made no implications that she had noticed at all the next morning at breakfast.

#SHE IS DONE #FINALLY THIS TOOK AGES IM CRYING TEARS OF JOY #this was supposed to be a short blurb but it turned into a monster idk how that happened #narnia #narnia headcanons #the chronicles of narnia #the pevensies #the pevensie siblings #mordern au #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #susan pevensie #peter pevensie #post narnia #tcon #narnia fic #king edmund the just #high king peter the magnificent #queen susan the gentle #queen lucy the valiant #post lww #prince caspian #voyage of the dawn treader #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #lww #pc #votdt #:navi writes

[i-like-writing-stuff]

four months [five hargreeves x reader]

a/n: okayy so i feel like i should mention that in my defense- it’s the first imagine i write in months so im really sorry if it sucks! i barely got my account back after so long, but  i just knew i had to post at least sumthen amirite??

summary: five finally decides it’s time to bring the crew back together in order to avoid the 1963 apocalypse, but the others feel like before that, you two need a moment to yourselves.

part 2

“I’m here, Klaus!” You yelled, bursting through the main doors of what used to be a store, “What’s- what was so important?”

“Of course you’d be drunk.” An all too familiar voice said, trying to sound disappointed as a hint of amusement was hidden behind his bored tone.

You couldn’t believe your eyes when they fell on the boy before you, watching as he made his way down the big stairs towards you, as his siblings smirked down from behind the railing at the two of you. 

It had been four months since you’ve seen Five Hargreeves. 

Four months since he decided to try to time travel again and try to get you and his siblings out of 2019 before the huge chunk of the moon could wipe out all of you and the chances of saving the world would have definitely been lost. 

You were not one of the Hargreeves siblings, nor you had any special powers. You just happened to be a very unlucky, fifty year old agent of the Comission who was assigned to join Five on his JFK task. Before you knew it, you were sucked into the portal he created, breaking the contract at once without even trying to fix the situation- not that you could complain much, you and Five may have had your differences, but if there was one thing the two of you agreed on, it definitely was that neither of you wanted the world to end in 2019, in spite of the Comission’s heavy attempts at keeping that on track.

Unfortunately, when Five tried to go back in time to his family, he miscalculated an equation, ending up in his thirteen year old body, you as well- since you were with him the entire time.

One thing led to another, and the Hargreeves siblings were reunited with their long-lost brother and acquainted with his riddled partner, but nonetheless tried to help you two in stopping the end of the world.

“You’re alive.” You breathed out, a frown on your face, as you slowly stepped towards the boy, trying to make sense of what was going on, even in your tipsy state.

After being transported back in time, you found yourself all alone in a dark alley in Texas, Dallas, in August, 1963. You stumbled into a nearby hair salon, trying to find a newspaper, a phone, anything that could help you track down your friends with whom you grew close with in such a short period of time. However, you could not believe your luck when Allison walked from the back once she recognized your voice. 

She welcomed you into her new life with open arms, telling her new husband that you were her adoptive little sister. Raymond did not hesitate to make you feel at home, immediately accepting you as his “little sister-in-law”.

“Klaus and Allison did say you are not in the best shape.” Five’s mouth slowly curled into a soft smile, as his hands were rested in his pockets nonchalantly, waiting to see what would be your next move.

It was true- you were not. You had begun your day with a big glass of wine alongside Allison and Klaus, who seemed to be as moody as you when it came to their love lives. 

As much as you hated to admit it, during the small time you’ve spent in 2019 with Five, trying to stop the world from ending, you caught feelings for him. Feelings which you had never thought you’d be able to feel at your age- even if your appearance said otherwise. 

“Shut up.” You said, waving your hands in front of your face, “Just... shut up...”

Before Five could argue any further with you, you fought back the tears of joy forming into your eyes, feeling your legs move on their own towards the boy, as you jumped into his arms for the tightest, most loving hug you could give. Happy that you could not see his face, Five tried to fight back the grin on his lips, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck- he loved how even in your teen bodies he was still taller than you. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying your best not to cry on his shoulder, as he took in a deep breath, with his arms around your waist. He was never one keen on physical affection, but after all that had happened, this was just what he needed. A long, loving hug from the girl he had fallen in love with.

“I’m starting to think he missed Y/N more than he missed us.” Klaus told his siblings, resting his chin on his hand, as Ben couldn’t help but nod in agreement;

“At least they’re sweet.”

“I’m honestly not that surprised.” Allison shrugged, taking a sip out of her flask.

“What is Y/N drunk for if she’s not gonna tell him how in love she is?” Diego frowned, already tired of the way you and his brother spent the past two weeks hiding your feelings.

“Wait... they’re not a couple?” Vanya wondered confused, since her amnesia was still pestering her.

“We were just as surprised.” Luther sighed, recalling the first time you and Five had popped into the backyard- you started bickering like an old married couple over whose fault was it.

Unable to hear the conversation between the siblings upstairs, you and Five carried on your long hug for another couple of seconds, before you pulled away, feeling bold due to all the alcohol coursing through your veins- even if you looked thirteen, you’ve had your plenty encounters with the magical substance.

“I know I am a bit drunk, but honestly- Klaus and Allison left me alone with a huge bottle of wine all by myself.” You confessed, resting your arms on Five’s shoulders, “Point is- I’m really happy you’re fine.”

“Kinda feels like you wanna say more than that.” Five couldn’t help but smirk, feeling in your tone how much you were trying to hold back.

Deep down you wanted to tell him how much you missed him, how much you wished he was there with you these past months, how many times you went to sleep with him in your mind, or how many times you woke up and he was the first thought to pop in. You wanted to tell him all the stuff that made you fall in love with him, and even all the stuff that irritated you about him. You wanted to tell him so many things, but... you didn’t. 

You knew that was not the time for love. You could only hope to get out of this second apocalypse alive. And maybe then... maybe then you could tell him how much he meant to you.

“I am not that drunk, Mister Hargreeves.” You lied with a smile, bopping his nose.

Yeah, definitely after the apocalypse.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy imagine #the umbrella academy x reader #number five #five hargreeves #five x reader #number five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves imagines #number five imagine #number five imagines

[mysmegrace]

hey i hope your game is working normally again , can i please request the rfa with an mc who has a part time job as an animator/artist ?

hello~ yes, my game is working well now! i think it might've been the network (i heard like a day later that something happened to it, idk exactly im not very tech savvy lol). i love the request btw.

RFA with an MC who Has a Part Time Job as an Animator/Artist

--- yoosung kim:

the pandemic had effect many things in your lives.

from his university classes to your late night outs.

one of the upsides you found in the time was the fact that you could work straight from your bed now.

you couldn't think of anything better

waking up ten minutes before your start time and sleeping in the comfort of your home during your breaks.

life was finally going in your favour.

and yoosung was in a similar position.

only he wasn't working, just attending university.

the sequence of events had led you to this moment.

you had woken up alongside the sun to start your work for the day, yoosung laying right beside you about to join a class.

you rose your head every once and while to give him a smile of encouragement, yet he wasn't getting the message.

did you want to do something right here?

right now?

while he's just joined a class?

with his cheeks becoming visibly more red, he reckoned a little affection wouldn't hurt.

it wasn't like the teacher could see him.

and he wasn't about to lie and say he was paying attention anyway.

going to wrap his arm behind your neck, he glances upon your project for work.

from the first second he laid eyes on it, it amazed him.

his curiosity was peaked as he started questioning your occupation.

he'd come to realize that he never actually asked about your job, he just knew you had one.

"i'm an animator, i only work part time though" you said with a hint of pride evident in your voice.

he was becoming increasingly more intrigued.

but after you explained many of the ups and downs of your part time job, he gave you his full support.

even asking if you'd be willing to teach him some time.

but nothing too hard, he doesn't want to embarrass himself.

after his class was over, you offered to show him your past works, in which he welcomes with open arms.

you continue to knock him off his feet.

hyun ryu / zen:

"zen zen, what do you think about this?" you ran up to him saying with excitement.

he looks up to meet your eyes after you caught his attention, before redirecting his focus to the tablet you held in front of him.

he was stunned.

it wasn't something he was expecting.

he never knew you were so good at drawing.

with his mouth hung slightly open, he began saying "it's amazing mc, how did you do this?"

he was truly floored, and you took notice of it.

"i've been drawing from a young age and now i make art part time for people who would like to buy my work" you explained.

he was insanely supportive from the get go.

knowing that you were able to make an income from your passion was comforting to him.

being glad you were able to achieve these accomplishments, he wouldn't want to let you work on your own.

granted he couldn't help you, his art wasn't one somebody would invest in.

but he could help in other ways.

hence why he offers to bring you supplies, help with project ideas, and love you from the sidelines.

jaehee kang:

"i've gotta make it to my other job now jaehee, but i'll see you later" you screamed as you ran to catch the bus.

the day was a success, going out with jaehee and shopping together.

however, your words had completely caught her off guard.

shes aware that you two haven't known each other for a long time, but it didn't change the shook that came over her when she heard.

sitting down, catching your breath from the short run you just came from, you decided to check your phone.

after all, there's not much else to do on the bus.

not too long after your departure, you receive a text from jaehee.

"i wasn't aware you had another job, what is your part time job?" it read.

oh, right.

you hadn't told her yet.

but what time was better than now?

"i'm an animator" you responded, waiting in suspense for the next text.

and you weren't waiting long, as the familiar sound of your messenger went off.

"animator? that's really awesome mc, can you show me some of your work?" it read.

you could feel as the smile creeped up your face, not able to hold back your excitement.

yet wasting little time, you send several screen recordings of your previous work that has done incredibility well.

"i'm speechless, that's so amazing" jaehee responded after a few minutes.

the overwhelming of positive emotions that had just come over you wasn't unwelcomed as you held the phone ever so closely.

knowing jaehee was proud of you was enough to make you cry tears of joy.

jumin han:

"but how was your day mc?" he says, changing the topic.

he had come home with the fatigue slowly overcoming him.

the fact that his father had introduced him to a new girl wasn't exactly helping either.

you wanted to talk to him about it more, but you knew better than to make him keep reliving the moment and experiencing the same emotions again.

hence why you took him up on his offer to change the topic.

"well, i finished my recent art project" you said, sipping the wine your husband had recently poured for you.

you watched as his eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"art project?" he questioned, encouraging you to elaborate.

and that you did, explaining how you made art for people as a part time job.

staying quiet for a second, redirecting his focus to the red liquid in front of him.

suddenly, he speaks up, saying "let me see it".

with a quick nod, you hop out of the seat to go pick up the project.

only to return a few seconds later, handing your artwork to him.

you watched intensely, following his eyes as he examined the piece in his hands.

"i'm quite impressed" he says, eyes not leaving the art.

"thank you" you mustered up in response through your excitement.

hearing that jumin was impressed by your skills made your day.

the conversation ended at the same speed it started, soon changing the topic.

but the new expensive supplies that laid in your little make-shift office was a reminder that he always had your best interests in mind.

as long as he could make you happy, life would be fine.

saeyoung choi:

"hey, i made that!" you practically screamed with excitement.

your time has finally come, the time you had been dreaming about since you were a little girl.

growing up on anime to seeing your animations being used in an anime made your life complete.

your attention broke as saeyoung reminded you of his presence, saying "wait, you made that?"

you turned to face his laying figure on the couch, nodding aggressively with a huge smile plastered across your face.

he always told you how contagious your smile was, and his point was proved as he began to duplicate your excited smile.

standing up to hug you, he started questioning you as if he were cosplaying an interviewer.

""when did you do this?"

"why did you do this?"

"how did you do this?"

you had to place your hand firmly on his chest to calm him down.

giving you time to explain your part time job as an animator.

how you've dreamed of this as a child and how grateful you were to be able to pursue your passion.

and saeyoung couldn't be prouder.

he felt like a father watching his child receive their first award.

your happiness made him feel incredible.

and your talent astonished him.

after the initial excitement died down, he offered his help in any way possible.

anonymous, of course.

he would do anything to make you happy.

achieving your dreams was something he never experienced until he met you, and he would never let you down.

---

00:32 AST - 08/10/21

#mysme headcanons #mystic messenger #mysme #yoosung x mc #yoosung kim #zen x mc #mysme zen #zen #hyun ryu #mysme jumin #jumin #jumin han #jumin x mc #jaehee x mc #jaehee #jaehee kang #707 #mysme 707 #707 x mc #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung #saeyoung choi #luciel choi

[baubaes]

hi! is there a chance for Jemily with no22? some angst maybe? cheers🤗

Well hello to you to! And of course there is!

@thatonecurlygirl prompt list 22

“I can’t give you what you want.”

Ship: Emily Prentiss x Jennifer Jareau

Word count: 5,4k

Genre: angst/hurt/fluff/very very light nsfw? i have no clue how to label this

Warnings: mentions of violence, death, injuries, classic criminal minds vibes :^)))

Summary: "Right now, Emily Prentiss was dead. She, however, was on a plane to Paris." aka JJ taking care of staked Emily, the blackbird flashback and events around it.

A/N: i thought of way too many scenarios when even though Emily and JJ are literally in love, it could never work out. here's one of them :^) i hope you'll enjoy it!! xx ana apparently i just can't imagine a scenario in which these characters could have a peaceful, quiet and happy life, im so sorry

Emily felt drained.

She was all hurting, really bad, her head was killing her, not only from the beating she received those several days ago, but also the mere stress of all this.

It was pretty baffling for her to realize that she survived this whole ordeal.

She couldn’t say for how long she was out; it felt both like a blink of an eye and an eternity.

And she really thought that she died, when she eventually lost consciousness in Morgan’s arms. That still felt like ages ago.

It was all really confusing, but then again, she couldn’t spare too much of her strength to dwell on what actually happened. Emily just felt too weak to try to keep her eyes open for too long and that resulted in her reality being pretty much scattered.

When she woke up in a hospital room, she was dazed and overwhelmed. They’ve put her on some strong painkillers after the surgery and most of the time right then felt like a blur. She thought she heard some voices in her dream, maybe doctors, maybe… Was it JJ?

She heard bits and pieces of conversations, somebody commenting on her condition in a low voice, nervous footsteps circling around the room, the dimmed rhythmical sounds of all the equipment she was hooked to, some sort of buzzing and a one sided conversation that had to be a phone call.

Was it just some bizarre dream?

A way for her subconscious mind to cope with the anxiety surrounding the recent events?

Whether it was real or not, it let her stay in this state of slumber brought to her through an IV drip.

Despite all that, she felt really grateful. She wasn’t sure where to channel this gratitude though;

Her team for backing her up?

The doctors for patching her up in the OR?

God, for allowing her to continue her existence?

Then again, she wasn’t sure if the last one existed, nor that the almighty entity would waste its time on making sure little old her survives.

It was comforting though, that her last moments on this Earth managed not to be spent with Doyle, even if that was against her will, so in theory, she didn’t have much of control over this.

Memories of him were a combination of ones that she’s made as Emily Prentiss and ones that she’s made as Lauren Reynolds. As Emily, it consisted of all those moments when he threatened her and her team, he kidnapped her, tortured her, nearly killed her…

As Lauren she was able to saw his more… Humane side.

Lauren was his girlfriend. Lauren lived with him,

Lauren shared her joys and fears with him. Lauren loved him.

But that was Lauren.

She wasn’t real. An identity, that’s all that she was.

And even though Emily tried to convince herself that Lauren’s feelings were perfectly compartmentalized away from her own, deep down she knew she was lying to herself.

Was Doyle ever somebody she actually loved?

She definitely despised him, but it felt like now she was obligated to despise even her own self for ever having feelings for this monster. Positive ones anyway.

Right now, Emily Prentiss was dead.

She, however, was on a plane to Paris.

It was all coordinated by Hotchner and JJ.

Nobody else knew.

Her team, her friends, her loved ones were about to attend her funeral in a few days.

She imagined confused look on Spencer’s face, Garcia’s eyes filled with tears, Morgan frowning and looking away. Would Rossi be sad, or would he finally feel relieved to be ridded of her impulsiveness and comments on literally everything?

She imagined her mother, who obviously was not on it, throwing a pile of soil on the coffin. That would not hold her body inside. Would she cry? Would she stay composed even at a funeral of her only child? Well, again, it wasn’t real real, but she wouldn’t be able to realize that.

For some reason, she figured JJ would’ve taken it upon herself to feel guilty, despite knowing what was going on.

They both knew it was the only way to make it all work.

Emily worried about everyone, but there were two people she worried about the most. Spencer and Penelope.

They both were incredibly strong, but she couldn’t be sure how would they deal with this.

She worried, since Reid did not cope well with losing authorities. And even if he would never admit it to her face, she knew that he looked up to her.

The thought of that made her feel the bile appear on the back of her throat.

That kid has lost so many people already… And he internalized all that, it had to be weighing on him every single day. It felt cruel to add another person to that list.

She had to keep thinking about the bigger picture to even remotely be able to deal with all that.

Now Garcia was somebody that Emily truly loved.

It was hard to imagine her being sad over her „death”.

Not because of the probability of the blonde being sad,

rather the severity of her grieving, Emily would imagine.

Penelope was one of those people who were able to feel so much, maybe even too much sometimes.

And on a daily basis it was wonderful. That’s what’s made her such an incredible, empathetic human being, who, despite their job, was still able to not only - be cheerful, but to cheer others up as well.

When she thought of that, it felt as if her heart could break to million pieces.

It was strange, how in that moment she should still feel the pain;

They’ve stabilized her after the surgery, but there were still bruises on her face, stitches across her abdomen, burnt skin on her chest. And she did feel it, but it was blurred, far away.

The feeling that made her grasp reality to the point of hyperawareness was the emotional pain.

Somehow she was able to compare it to the pain of being staked.

She still wasn’t sure what was a proper emotional response in that situation.

It wasn’t in the manual, or in training, despite people having to go… Well, faking your own death was like going undercover, in a way.

Both at the Interpol and the FBI, nobody taught her how to feel, while pretending to be dead.

She knew how to make it happen technically, more or less. After all, Lauren had already died. Her old team, JTF-12, was able to pull that off those several years ago. Including her of course.

But that was Lauren. An identity, which, sure, she’s been tied to for quite some time, living as her, acting like her, becoming her in a way.

Still, just an identity.

Right now, there wasn’t a disguise, an identity to toss away, allowing her to come back to her regular life.

Right now her regular life was supposed to cease to exist.

Before, she thought about her goal and the fact, that she survived. She was grateful, in some way she felt obligated to take care of Declan and she wouldn't be able to do that, if she was actually dead, right?

Even though she knew that she had no right to feel attached to the boy as much as she did, she just couldn’t help it. The image of him as a toddler, walking around the room in Doyle’s house stuck in her head. She couldn’t shake it off. And even before Doyle found her, that image caused her to have problems with falling asleep from time to time.

Emily never seriously thought of herself becoming a mother, for that role to be the main purpose of her life. She was afraid of screwing her potential children up, because she knew that even if she meant well, it wouldn’t guarantee them turning out okay. And her line of work made it impossible to both realistically approach the idea of maternity - she didn’t have a partner and if she were to be a single mother - it would be impossible to keep up with the BAU - that job was just too demanding; but also she saw so many downright evil, just unimaginable things that people were capable of doing to one another. How could she ever be able to shield a child from that?

Suddenly, all these ridiculous, small things that she wouldn’t think twice about made her feel as if each and every part of her life was just slipping through her fingers, right there, right then.

That one window in her apartment, the one with the wide windowsill, she loved to sit on it and watch the sky. Sergio would curl up in her lap or right next to her, on the windowsill, quietly purring, when she would pet his black fur. It didn’t happen often, because most nights she'd come home so exhausted, all she could basically do was just pass out on her bed. And Sergio would sleep on a pillow right next to her, despite Emily's promises to herself that she will teach him to stop, because she'd wake up covered in his fur with a runny nose.

But when she had a chance to do that, it made her mind stop racing, at least for a few minutes. That barely ever happened anywhere else.

Now she realized that Sergio was alone in her apartment and she panicked. But just for a second, because then she remembered JJ in the hospital, telling her that Penelope took him in. Of course she did. He'd definitely be surrounded with love. She wished she could've just taken him with her though, since she's already been missing him. Silly little fur ball, making her fall in love with him gradually. Penelope wouldn't be able to resist his charm for sure, she thought to herself, smiling. Still, she felt really sad.

Emily realized that she’s left so many things behind.

She didn’t think of herself as someone intensively attached to material possessions, but all these had a sentimental value for her and that was the only thing that mattered.

The thoughts invading her head were random, coming to her without any particular sense or order, falling on her mind like an avalanche.

And she thought about that crumpled up picture, capturing her with her friends when she was a teenager, back in Rome.

A cross, that her mother gave her on her first communion. She wasn’t ever really wearing it, but she liked knowing that it was safely tucked away in one of the drawers in her closet. It brought her some strange kind of comfort.

A box with letters she’d exchange with her father when she was a kid, because even though they moved around together as a family, he still would have assignments all around the world. So he would leave for a single weekend, or for several months at a time. No matter how long or short was he leaving for, he’d always try and send her a postcard, hence the collection of them, both from huge cities in Europe and Asia and tiny places she’s never even heard of before in America or Australia.

Maybe she wasn’t going through this box ritually on some settled schedule, but every once in a while she would look at those tacky pictures of touristy little towns, as well as simple, beautiful pictures of great historical monuments or watercolored landscapes of picturesque countrysides. And they'd make the corners of her lips rise up just a tiny bit.

All that with a couple words reading simple greetings, scribbled in a hurry, in her dad’s small, not exactly neat handwriting, on the back of each and every one of them.

„Love you, Dad” summed up every single message.

And looking at those words made her feel warmth, both now and when she was a little girl. Her father wasn’t very talkative and he rarely told her he loved her unprompted. So she got used to reading these words, instead of hearing them from him.

She cherished these postcards and anytime she’d go through them, she noticed some kind of feeling spread throughout her body, that felt like pure joy, but also love and safety.

Kurt Vonnegut’s "Sirens of Titan".

Morgan lent it to her a few months ago.

The book was by her bed, bookmarked with some crumpled receipt for groceries she’d found at the bottom of her purse, when she'd had to suddenly break away from Rumfoord and Kazak on the jet.

She’s read it before, truth be told, (in Italian and back in the ’80s), but Morgan insisted that she just had to read the original version. And even though there was a stack of books she wanted to read going back at least two years sitting on her bedroom floor, dangerously leaning against the radiator, the day she brought it home, she placed the Sirens on the very top of her bedside table, instead of the stack.

She’d imagine Morgan would appreciate that gesture.

Morgan, her partner.

Morgan, who held her before she passed out.

Morgan, who always had her back.

And she tried to do the same for him in the field.

He’s saved her ass countless times.

Emily wished she could have had his back right now.

She realized with a paralyzing fear that it could last forever.

Doyle could lay low, undetected for years.

Would it keep Morgan up at night?

Would he blame himself, wondering?

If he'd gotten to her seconds earlier, if he had only ran faster, if he’d found her sooner, would it change anything?

Thinking about that made her fists clench suddenly.

If she had any fingernails left, they would surely dig into the skin of her palms very painfully right now.

Emily felt this overwhelming guilt filling her chest, making her throat feel as if it was closing, her teeth grit.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, as if the jet’s cabin had become decompressed and she couldn't reach the oxygen mask.

"You’re doing okay?"

She heard the soft and calming voice of her only companion on this flight, naturally besides the pilot.

JJ was looking at her with those big, worried, blue eyes and even though Emily’s first instinct was to nod, as she did just that, she felt her eyes watering.

"I can't stand the thought of all of them grieving over a lie."

She mumbled out.

"Emily, you know that this is the only way. We’d never make them go through this, if there were any other options. They will understand."

JJ’s voice became more firm with the last sentence, she was obviously in a mind space reserved for dealing with crisis.

"I really thought that was it, you know?"

Emily asked, a little startled at the sound of her own voice.

She couldn’t recall the last time she’s held an actual conversation with another person, one that wouldn’t consist of barely understandable mumbling as a form of communication on her end.

"There came that point, where the pain went away, I guess I went into shock. I heard Morgan’s voice and I wanted to keep my eyes open like he told me to so bad, but I just couldn’t. I felt like I was slipping away and it felt so… Easy. I wasn’t scared at all. I… I knew you guys would take care of Declan, if I wasn’t around. And that all of you would be okay."

She said, trying to piece together everything that happened.

"And apparently I've coded in the ambulance? I had no idea, but some glimpses are coming back to me, slowly. But it was like I’d fallen asleep."

She added, her face reflecting her mind in a state of deep contemplation.

Her thoughts were interrupted by JJ’s voice.

"Thank God, you didn’t…"

Emily only now noticed that with every word that she spoke, JJ’s eyes became more and more glossy. She frowned.

"Hey, I’m here."

She leaned in and smiled faintly.

"Its gonna take way more than some branding and a little stake for you to get rid of me."

JJ laughed, wiping the tears away, before they had a chance to flow down her cheeks.

"Why would I ever want to get rid of you?"

Blonde asked, her voice now soft, her expression puzzled.

Emily felt something strange in her chest.

At first her brain assumed it had to be her burnt skin and damaged nerve endings, but no.

It felt nice, it wasn’t painful.

That warmth, spilling around her insides.

She didn’t have a witty comeback to her question. She wanted to think it was because of the meds making her hazy, but she wasn’t sure anymore. She just looked down at her chest and frowned again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The first thing I’m doing, when we get to Paris is having this removed."

She heard her own voice.

"How could a brand hurt more than getting staked?"

"Maybe it’s a psychosomatic itch you’re scratching? The brand left an emotional toll, Doyle established dominance over you by marking you as his, a stake… I mean you overcame death. The ultimate victory over your foe. Why suffer a pain you’re proud of?"

JJ wondered, actually trying to analyze all that. She looked at her, now amused.

"Or you could always get another tattoo."

Emily laughed at that. JJ continued.

"You know, something transformative? Like a… A phoenix. Or a blackbird."

"I love the song."

Emily said.

"But something tells me, I shouldn’t tread in your waters."

JJ looked at her with a questioning look.

"Come on, JJ. Something’s obviously different about you. You commandeered an Interpol jet. You’re profiling me."

JJ looked down and sighed. Emily continued.

"Why didn’t you say your transfer was a backstop?"

At that JJ’s expression turned to a confused one, indicating that what the other woman said was the truth.

"Oh, I know that look. The 'I can’t trust anyone, but myself' look. I invented it."

Emily added, trying to make it sound funny, but ultimately, it still came out serious, because it was true. JJ smiled at her slightly, but she looked sad.

"Do you ever feel like you’re in way over your head?" Emily nodded, wanting her to continue.

"I got assigned to an information hunt. Instead, I am chasing an unsub, who killed my informant."

"What would Hotch tell you to do?" Emily asked without hesitation. That’s how she found her way around during any investigation, ever since she joined the BAU.

"Focus on victimology, let behavior lead the way…"

JJ listed out loud.

"Exactly. Who did your unsub kill?"

"The one person I was getting through to."

"Why?"

Emily continued with her questions, seeing that they initiated JJ’s thought process.

"Because I was getting through to…" JJ said, frowning.

"I was getting through to her. What if she was about to expose her killer? Someone on the inside…"

Emily could tell that JJ needed somebody else to look at her situation and see it in from a different angle. JJ got really pensive, her eyes glued to some nonexistent point in space.

"It sounds like it's time for you to be the blackbird and flip the script." Emily said slowly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I guess it does." JJ said with a tiny smile, before getting up.

"Hey, why won’t you try and sleep at least a while? We won’t be landing for several hours, so…"

"Right. You should try and sleep too. I’ve been in a coma, so I caught some Zs, when you think about it. Medically induced ones, but still. You on the other hand must be exhausted."

Emily’s face was covered in grey, purple and yellow spots, but JJ’s face, even though not bruised, still indicated that she had a rough couple of days. She had bags under her eyes, her cheeks pale, instead of slightly flushed like they normally were, her face tired.

They both looked quite miserable.

JJ just smiled in response, but her eyes weren’t a part of that smile. Her eyes stayed sad.

She walked to another seat, so she could try and lie down.

Emily wanted to let JJ rest, because she suspected that by suggesting sleeping, she actually had an excuse to take a nap herself, even if it was supposed to last only few minutes. She deserved a good night sleep, Emily thought to herself, watching the blonde struggling to find a comfortable position. When she eventually succeeded, Prentiss leaned back in her own seat, looking out the window. Her chest was still burning, but she wouldn’t even flinch. Her eyes, almost independently from her will, landed on the other woman every couple of minutes. She watched JJ’s chest move rhythmically, until her breathing became really deep and really steady and she was without a doubt asleep.

She knows what’s happening,

Emily thought to herself.

And so does Hotchner.

Yet, they’re going to have to look at the rest being in pain and they’re going to have to pretend that they’re going through the same thing.

And when she thought about Hotch, it wasn’t that hard to imagine.

He would keep himself perfectly composed in pretty much any situation she ever saw him in.

He was able to calculate his next move without showing as much as a microexpression.

It could be a little unsettling sometimes, but then again when he was surrounded by his family, when he was with Jack, he would expose this softer and loving side of himself. Just a bit. It was quite the view.

Emily had no doubt that he was a good father. And a good man.

He really was great at planning, thinking ahead like no one else;

he had his way of smoothly dealing with issues that inevitably came up during their investigations.

All those things made him an incredible section chief.

Emily was certain that she could trust him with her life. And she did.

It would be hard for anyone to keep such a burdening secret from people you are constantly around.

Eventually, you could start believing the lie, but that also took dedication. It was even harder when you had to lie to people that were actually a part of your life, people that you were close to.

It’s one thing to be undercover and to keep a secret from people you’re trying to infiltrate. During such operations it felt justified to do that, choosing the lesser evil, the end justify the means and all that.

It’s a completely different thing to do that to your friends and family.

"The secret to getting away with lying is believing with all your heart. That goes for lying to yourself even more so than lying to another."

A quote by the author Elizabeth Bear, that she's memorized from reading her New Amsterdam series more than once. She was repeating it in her mind, not being able to stop.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in. She knew that they made the right call. Still, it was just devastating, thinking what they voluntarily sentenced themselves to.

She tried to calm herself down with proper breathing. It helped.

Emily finally decided to try to sleep. She thought that since she was still medicated, she’d pass out easily, but that didn’t happen.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw faces of her team members. She felt like her chest was being crushed. Breathing didn't really help.

After what felt like forever of forcing herself to fall asleep without any luck, she opened her eyes and just kept them open. She focused her gaze on what was behind the window.

The clouds, barely visible in the navy skies.

She didn’t do it on purpose, but she realized that she started to dissociate.

And she let herself do it.

The numbness felt better than the stinging guilt.

She didn’t really register it, but tears left her eyes, falling on her lashes and cheeks, as her deep, dark eyes focused on the navy color in front of her, forty thousand feet above the ground.

She couldn’t tell how long it took, but only JJ’s turning in her sleep, simultaneously throwing a bag off the seat made Emily come back to reality. Blonde didn’t wake up. She looked really peaceful.

She thought about not seeing her for God knows how long. It stung, to a point of her gasping. Afraid, that maybe that could’ve woken her up, Emily wiped her tears away, but JJ’s eyes stayed closed. And these intrusive thoughts came back to roam inside her head.

Sure, JJ wouldn’t be with the BAU now, since she’s had that informant operation, but no doubt, she would still see them. They were a huge part of her life after all.

Emily watched her face, calm and soft, imaging it twisted in pain and grief, having to pretend one of their own was dead.

In her mind, JJ was one of the strongest people she knew. She was persistent, hardworking and incredibly professional, but she was also kind, nurturing and very loyal.

What she was doing for her at this very moment proved it perfectly.

She knew that JJ accepted her part in this plan on her own and if she were to start trying to talk her out of it (never mind that it was also too late for that at this point), she wouldn’t change her mind. To be fair, if they switched places, she would do the same for JJ, but still, she couldn’t stop worrying about the woman sleeping on a seat across from her.

Emily watched her friend and it brought her some sort of comfort, a feeling of safety.

She finally dozed off, trying not to think, but focused on JJ’s steady breathing instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Emily, we’ll be landing in about an hour."

She heard, opening her eyes, and she saw JJ standing in front of her, one of her hands on her shoulder.

"I thought you’d like to change before the transfer."

Emily’s hand landed on top of hers, holding both of them on her shoulder.

"Oh, right. Thank you, I…" she looked down at their hands, trying to focus. "We’ll have to say goodbye soon, right?" she blurted out, looking back at her face.

JJ sighed and sat down right next to her, not taking her hand away, but instead, intertwining their fingers and resting both their hands in Emily’s lap.

"Well, it seems so."

She smiled, but her eyes were reddened, filling with tears once again.

Emily’s gaze was glued to their hands, watching JJ’s wrist and fingers, so delicate right now, but perfectly capable of throwing a good punch. Her eyes stopped at the ring on her finger; Henry’s birthstone. She felt that strange feeling again, that warmth spreading throughout her body.

"It’s not going to last forever. We will find Doyle."

JJ mumbled out and Emily held her breath.

"I know, but… I will miss you so much."

Emily said, before instinctually putting her arms around blonde’s waist, to which she responded with wrapping her arms around her neck. JJ tried to be gentle, because of Emily’s condition, but brunette only held her tighter.

They were so close right now, that she could hear the other woman’s heartbeat. It was slightly elevated.

JJ pulled back just a little, so she could look at her face.

"I will miss you as well." she whispered, their eyes laid on each other.

JJ said the next sentence so quietly, that Emily could barely hear it.

"You’re very special to me, you know that?"

Emily wouldn’t be able to logically explain why she did what she did next, but somehow her hands ended up on both sides of JJ’s face and she leaned in, placing her lips on blonde’s ones.

She wasn’t thinking, but as she kissed her, the other woman immediately kissed her back. Emily felt soft palms cupping her face, her eyes closed. That kiss was filled with so much pain and longing and some kind of desperation.

But it made her whole body fill up with that warmth.

Emily wasn’t even sure what that was, so she tried to be gentle. She ended up kissing JJ in a somewhat shy manner, yet the other agent was deepening the kiss with each second, making it more and more passionate. Emily felt her back hitting the wall and a moan left her throat, captured by the kiss. JJ reacted by slowing down, moving her fingers across her face, running them through her hair. Emily was still cupping JJ’s face, her skin felt so soft and warm under her fingers when she brushed them across her cheeks. Their tongues slowly swirling around one another, this time Emily caused JJ to gasp, as she bit her lower lip. She responded with kissing brunette even more eagerly, so Emily brushed her fingers along her neck, resting them on her shoulders. One of her hands was caressing the skin covering JJ’s collarbone. At that she sighed, barely audibly, but Emily caught it. Her fingers moved towards the skin covering her breastbone.

JJ suddenly pulled back and broke the kiss, leaving both of them breathing heavily, blood flowing through their cheeks and lips.

Emily placed her hands back on JJ’s shoulders, she didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she broke the silence.

"JJ, I…" she didn’t even know what to say. It wasn’t right. She had a loving husband, a family. She didn’t mean to ruin it for her.

"We don’t have to talk about this." she said quickly and Emily felt strange. She took her hands off of her shoulders and leaned back, so there was space between them.

"I… Dont… Look, if we won’t see each other for…"

She started, but her voice broke, when she realized what expression showed up on JJ’s face.

Regret.

Emily felt so many contradicting things in that moment, that she basically froze. JJ was looking away.

"You went through something traumatic, we all did. It’s only natural to crave human contact then. And it can present itself in many different ways. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s fine."

"JJ, it means… It means everything for me."

Emily choked out, placing her hand on top of blonde’s. JJ turned her hand, so she could squeeze Emily’s one between her fingers.

She smiled looking at their hands, but only for a fraction of a second. And then she took her hand away, only to look Emily straight in her eyes. She seemed sad, but also… Agitated.

"I can’t give you what you want, Emily." she said quickly, getting up.

"There’s too many reasons why. And… You have to leave."

JJ stated, sort of matter-of-factly.

Emily couldn’t really comprehend what just happened. But all of the pain, both physical and mental suddenly came back, not dimmed anymore.

This was… This wasn’t the time for this. Come on, Emily, it’s time to compartmentalize again. You used to be so good at this!

Well, before joining the team anyway.

"We’re landing in 15. You have to change, definitely cover up these bruises at least a bit." JJ continued talking, her voice morphing back to that task-oriented tone. She was taking clothes and makeup out of the bags, handing the items to her. "Hurry."

Emily felt like she couldn’t move, but she forced herself to get up and do what she needed to. They weren’t looking at each other and even though she wanted to scream, she kept perfectly quiet.

Compartmentalize. It’s not the time. It didn’t mean anything.

They landed and after JJ made sure that the right person was waiting outside to drive Emily to a safehouse, she stood in front of her and hugged her. Emily wasn’t really expecting that right now, since the atmosphere was so tense.

"I will miss you, no matter what." JJ whispered and even though Emily was so stunned from the pain and all around confused, she knew they couldn’t part without a proper goodbye.

"Thank you, for everything. Take care of them." Emily said and she embraced her tightly, one last time. Emily wanted to say that she’ll miss her like crazy, but it felt both like too much and not enough.

She didn’t want to let them turn this into a final goodbye.

"Of course. I will see you soon, okay?" JJ smiled and Emily smiled back. It wasn’t the best forced smile, but she just couldn’t do better in that moment.

"Goodbye, Jennifer." she said sounding way too official, taking a first step out.

"Goodbye, Emily."

Prentiss turned away and quickly made her way to the parked car.

She saw JJ’s face one last time through the tiny window.

The car left the landing strip and disappeared in the night.

„Goodbye, Emily.” she thought to herself, as she caught her own reflection in the side mirror.

„Goodbye, Emily.”

JJ whispered, placing a red rose on the coffin.

#jemily #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #lauren reynolds #Criminal minds s6e18 #Criminal minds jemily #david rossi #jemily angst #fanfic #jemily paris #sad jemily #why am i like this #they deserve to be together #jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x emily prentiss #emily prentiss x jennifer jareau

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝗴𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 ˎˊ˗

✰ PAIRING ( terushima yuuji x fem!reader ) ✰ WORDCOUNT ( 1.9k ) ✰ GENRE ( ansgt, songfic ) ✰ WARNINGS ( um one swear word, angst, implications of de*th )

all the memories that we make will never change we'll stay drunk, we'll stay tan, let the love remain and I swear that I'll always paint you golden days ♫ panic! at the disco

✰✰ NOTE.. so uH i think this is the first angst thing i wrote that im actually happy with and i know terushima isn’t someone a lot of ppl write for so to the few ppl who see this</3 hope u guys enjoy:”)

“Ughh where is it,” Terushima grumbled to himself as he pulled open drawer after drawer. He had searched all the cabinets, all the tables, and just about every inch of his apartment but has yet to find his phone charger. 

As he closed the second to last drawer on this shelf, which held no phone charger, he pulled out his phone and saw it had 1% battery remaining. Quickly, he unlocked it and went to his contacts. Before he could make a call though, the screen turned black and he was left staring at a faint reflection of himself.

“Damn it,” he cursed under his breath. “She’s gonna get upset again.”

He clutched the now dead phone in one hand and ran the other through his hair, sighing in exhaustion. Today had been tiring enough with work and now he had this to deal with.

There was still one more drawer he hadn’t checked though. So, he lifted his hand out of his hair and pulled it wide open. 

In it sat a small box. 

He knew of its contents the moment he laid eyes on it. He also knew opening it now would only make him feel worse, not to mention, it would definitely delay his plans.

But for some reason, a longing for nostalgia or maybe the person that brought such nostalgia, his arms unconsciously moved to take the box into his hands.

Your words echoed in the back of his mind as he traced his fingers along the edges of the box.

“It’ll be like our little time capsule. For us to open when we’re all old and wrinkly…”

A deep sigh escaped his lips. 

Every rational thought that came into his head begged him not to open it, to put it back, to forget he even found it. 

Instead, his fingers moved to lift the cover and lay it down on the floor beside him.

And there you were... a polaroid of you at least. 

Your lips were curved in a sweet smile inviting him in and breaking his heart all over again. Up until now, he could barely recall what your face looked like when you were happy, truly happy. He could only remember the tears and regret you had on your face towards the end… 

But seeing you like this again, the wideness of your smile, the crinkle of your eyes… you radiated a joy and happiness he had begun to forget in you.

He stared at the picture for a good minute before turning it around to see the familiar strokes of your handwriting.

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!’ and under it ‘(first pic taken with the polaroid my baby Yuuji got for me<3)’

“My baby Yuuji,” he whispered.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you,” he sang softly into your ear as he held you from behind, swaying gently in tune. 

“Happy birthday dear Y/n.. Happy birthday to you~”

You turned to kiss the blond and he pulled you even closer to him. 

“I love you babe, happy birthday...” 

The tiredness he had felt just moments ago seemed to have fluttered away when he found you again in the polaroids, and a longing burst from the depths as he put the picture down and picked up another one, his hands once again moving on their own will.

This one had the two of you standing together, backs facing the camera. It was taken at a beach when the sun was still high in the sky and the water glistened blue. But it wasn’t the scenery that appealed to him, nor was it the way the sun wrapped around you two in perfect golden light. 

It was how close you were to him. The physical distance between you two was barely existent. Your arms were wrapped around his waist and his were draped over your shoulders. 

‘Sea breeze, cute outfit, sand between my toes, and 1 Terushima Yuuji… Damn was today great.’

How he would give to be that close to you again.

“Ok 3, 2, 1…”

You clung on to him as tight as you could and he smiled, pulling you closer. 

At the sound of the camera click and the hum of the photo being printed, you let go and quickly turned around to thank the woman for taking the picture.

When you did that he felt off; as if a part of his body was just yanked away. It wasn’t an extreme feeling, nor was it painful in any way. It was more just a lingering emptiness that was put to rest a few seconds later when you were back by his side again.

He put his arm back on your shoulder and peered down at the polaroid in your hand. You were staring at the photo patiently waiting for the colors to fade in. And when it finally did, you smiled satisfactorily at it before tucking it away and flashing another smile to the man right next to you.

Terushima closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind. It’s been years, he shouldn’t be dwelling on the past like this.

And yet, there was comfort in the pain the memories brought.

When he opened his eyes, they landed on yet another photo of you. And as he has been for a good part of his life, he was drawn to you. Reaching out a hand, he picked it up and let the memories wash over him once more.

After a while, he set it down and picked up another. And another. And another. Each capturing a moment with you he would never get back. 

It’s been years since he’s had to learn to live without you. Truthfully though, he never did learn how. The sun became a little dimmer, the rain a little harder, the breeze a little less refreshing. The world lost its vibrancy when he lost you. He adapted, got used to the dullness, but he couldn’t learn to live the same anymore...

He picked up another polaroid.

This one didn’t have either of your faces on it. It just showed the two of you holding hands against a dark background.

The bottom held no words but instead an arrow pointing to the right. Terushima turned the polaroid and saw a small envelope attached to the back. Curious, he opened it up and pulled out the piece of paper snuggled inside.

‘This one’s a bit longer than any other note I’ve written for a polaroid but… I kinda just realized smth really important. He drove me out at 3AM in the morning to get food because I said I was hungry. Then we sat in his car listening to some old mixtapes he had. They were pretty crappy but it didn’t matter. I love Terushima Yuuji. I’ve said it a million times before but last night it really hit me, hard. I love him in a way I’d never be able to love anyone else. 

I want to go on more dates with him. more stupid dates, more romantic ones, more 3AM dates, more cuddle dates. And even though it might be selfish of me, I want to spend my every breathing minute with him. 

If I can’t have anything else in this then I just want these golden days of ours to last forever..’

And before he realized it, tears were rolling down his cheeks. Fuck it all. He missed you. He missed the days you had together, the nights spent in each others’ arms. He missed you so much it tore a hole in his heart and all he could see when he looked at the sunlight drifting through the window was just darkness. 

It pained him to know that everything you wanted was all he ever needed. It pained him that he hadn’t realized this until it was too late. And it pained him most that you were never coming back.

Why’d you have to leave? 

He tried so hard to stop asking this question, and for a while, he was successful. But the polaroids, your handwriting, the memories, you.. there was just so much pain in the happiness of the past. 

But you were gone. He had accepted that long ago. 

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

“Terushima, you in here?” a familiar voice called from outside. 

Right, he forgot about Misaki. Wiping any tears left on his face, he put all the polaroids back in the box, covered the lid, and left the room.

“DADDY!!” a little girl yelled, running at him full speed. He bent down and lifted her into his arms effortlessly.

“Oh you’ve gotten heavier. How much has Misaki been feeding you huh?” he teased.

The little girl pouted as she pointed to the floor signaling she wanted to be put down. Terushima chuckled and did so.

Walking over to a slightly annoyed-looking Misaki, he muttered an apology for not going to pick her up and a thanks for taking care of his daughter. 

“Hey wait, you look like you’ve been crying… Are you ok Teru?” she asked, eyes showing her concern.

He let out a deep sigh. 

“I uh- I found a box with some old pictures of Y/n and I just-”

She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. 

“Look, I know you miss her and I know you know this, but don’t get too stuck in the past. Focus on what you have now,” she said looking in the direction of the young girl who had made her way over to the small pile of stuffed animals on the couch.

He rubbed his face and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, thank you Misaki.”

“Ok,” she replied with a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be going then.” 

Terushima nodded again and after she said bye to his daughter, he walked her to the door.

Turning back he leaned on the wall and looked affectionately at the girl playing on his couch. She was still so young, but it’s been almost 5 years now that he’s taken care of her. 

Time seemed to fly by with her and yet it felt like so long ago he welcomed her to the world. 

He understood now the past and its memories were something to be treasured. It was not something to cling on tightly though. The golden days of the past are gone, but the glittering rays that coated the floor and walls of his living room tell him it’s a new age. 

It was an age he had to cherish well.

Deciding to do something he’s been putting off, he walked back into his room and brought out the box with all its polaroids and memories.

“Yui, come here. I want to show you something.”

She stared at him before taking one frayed teddy bear into her hands and walking over to her father. Taking his outreached hand, she looked at the box he held in his other.

Sitting at the top of the pile was a photo of a beautiful woman. The sun was shining bright in the background and the light swirled around her as if she was wrapped in a golden halo.

“Is she an angel?” Yui asked innocently, pointing to the picture.

“You got that right,” he replied with a sad smile. “She’s the most beautiful angel out there..”

He watched as the young girl picked up the photo, seemingly mesmerized.

“That angel is your mom.”

“My mom?” she echoed. “Mommy is an angel?”

He smiled and ruffled her hair, “She sure is, and you know what? She’s looking out for us from heaven, so you better be a good girl for her, okay?”

✰✰ NOTE.. pls lemme know if u guys thought this was angsty enough sdkjlsdg,,,, i dunno i can’t seem to tell whether angst is painful enough yet;-; also don’t mind the name yui dkglsd it was the first one i could think of T-T

✰✰✰ TAGLIST.. @lilikags @luna-in-luv​ @kureyama​

#hq x reader #haikyuu #terushima yuji x reader #terushima x reader #terushima yuuji #terushima x y/n #terushima yuuji x reader #terushima yuuji x you #terushima oneshot #terushima angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu oneshot #hq angst #hq oneshots #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #hq #www.pink-ink.com/writing #/fic

[interstellarrambles]

Hey I love your work. I would like to request something with Pete and the reader and they have 3 kids (maybe 2 boys and a girl) and they go visit Pete at SNL and just about their day with him and Pete talking about his family on the weekend update. 🖤

family. pd

a/n im sorry this took so long! I hope this is okay, I know I didn't discuss much of the actual things they did during the day but I can always write more or a second part if you would like!

@briskiiat420

tressful, terrifying and nerve-wracking yet somehow still lovable, these past few years had taught you and Pete a million things about parenthood that you would've never considered beforehand, though neither of you were complaining. Pete had expressed his desire to be a father many times, even before he started dating you, so it came as little surprise to anyone who knew the two of you when you were pregnant. then again two years later... and again after another year had passed.

having three children under the age of six was never easy to put it simply; there was always a nappy to change, a tantrum to quash or a nativity play to prepare for. however, when those sweet moments hit you like a ten tonne train, you remembered why you had craved a family like yours so badly.

moments like now, with your youngest baby boy swaddled adorably in your arms and your two eldest children swinging off of their father's hands. matching shirts with his little girl and painstakingly handmade bracelets with his boy, Pete had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water.

singularly the hardest part of familial life you had to deal with, past the nappies and crying and mischievous antics, was the media constantly encroaching into your private life. teeth bared into predatorial smiles and unbroken chattering questions: the paparazzi had ruined your first hospital birth by crowding your exit and had ruined plenty of later events with their inconsiderate practices. hence, you had somewhat of a skewed perspective on life in the city with your children and you had avoided bringing them anywhere they could be swarmed.

until today.

starting his umpteenth season on SNL, now as a recurring guest more than a regular, Pete had been asked if he wanted to do a special on family life, being as it was approaching Christmas now. therefore, after bundling up your babies in large winter coats and cosy beanies and hats that matched yours, you had made the journey to SNL's filming location largely unnoticed, only being approached by some young respectful fans eager to greet you happily. throughout the week you had majorly avoided letting Pete know you were planning to visit him with the family, already knowing how excited he'd be if you took the chance and surprised him. instead, you had contacted some of his friends behind the scenes, begging them to keep it a secret and to help you get backstage to see him before and during his weekend update.

all of your children adored seeing their father onstage even if they didn't truly understand any of the words he would be saying, and though you knew when to chastise him for playing them videos with rude words in them, you also knew how much they would love seeing him perform comedy in real life.

arming yourself and your two eldest with hot chocolates to guard against the cold, you had already entered the building and were waiting backstage in one of the office rooms for someone to tell Pete to go check the room you were in. soon enough, you heard the drawl of your husband's voice and his sweet laugh echoing through the adjoining corridor.

noticing the pure joy that lit up his face when the door swung open and you finally saw him, your heart was soaring, tears almost filling your eyes as your children squealed with excitement.

"you did this for me baby," Pete whispered, also close to happy tears as he welcomed you into the family hug, "gonna make me cry sweetheart."

wrapping his arms around you and your baby boy as carefully as possible, he smiled when he felt your face buried in the crook fo his neck, his baby gurgling in contentment. all he had ever wanted was in this backstage room.

he had no need for the money or the clothes or the fame, he just wanted you smiling and his babies by your side.

"I hope those are happy tears Mr Davidson, it was incredibly difficult to surprise you properly," you giggled when you finally pulled away for a second, wiping the corner of his eyes with your spare thumbs, gently cradling his face.

your other two children had begun preoccupied themselves with bothering Mulaney who had made the grave mistake of joining Pete for the surprise, giving you and your lover a quick but wonderfully quiet moment.

"god I fucking love you so much," he smiled, kissing you with such urgency you felt butterflies like it was the first time, his hands helping you cradle your youngest, "so glad I put a ring on it for good."

#pete and colson #pete davidson snl #pete davidson fanfiction #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson #pete #pete snl #snl 2020 #snl cast imagine #snl fanfiction #snl #snl icons #snl at home #snledit #soliswrites #my writing #dad!pete davidson #dad!pete #daddy #imagine #pete davidson request #pete davidson fluff #mgk and pete #john mulaney #pete and mulaney #snl x reader #mgk #pete davidson blurb #fluff

[canyousayinconsistency]

Why Can’t I Have Him Back?

I had a craving for a specific scenario and thus I provided it for myself, hope yall enjoy.

Sukuna x Curse! Reader | Angst with a small fluffy scene

Warnings: I made the reader be kinda like a butterfly-ish curse so if you dont like that my bad, blood (not too much)

I’ll probably make a part 2 for this, maybe something smutty if im feeling like it

Ever since Itadori fused with the King of Curses, Sukuna, all of the high ranking Jujutsu Sorcerers have been on edge. Not only from the unexpected development of having someone being able to tame such a monster, but also due to the ungodly amount of spiritual energy that had pulsed across the nation at his arrival. The pressure it released had knocked them back, the feeling sending a shiver down their spine as they realized it had been on par with Sukuna, if not even greater.

Despite feeling this unease, no matter what or where they searched nothing and no one was found. While they had constantly worried about this sudden presence they had current matters to attend to, such as the fact of Gojou Satoru’s sealing.

Itadori had run throughout the station, fighting minor curses here and there before coming to a halt from the presence of Mahito, Geto and Jogo. While Itadori and the other shamans around him prepared for a battle he could only watch in confusion as everyone around him, including the major curses in front of him stiffened and shuddered.

A large gust was felt before a hole in the ceiling broke through, crashing down in between the two feuding parties. From the moonlight, almost in a serene manner, a tall woman floated down, her large wings carrying her to settle atop of the debris. The curses behind her held their breath, the sorcerers in front of her tense at her presence, and Itadori shivered in both fear, yet relief?

The woman before him crouched down slightly, her wings settling behind her as she finally opened her eyes. Her bright (e/c) looked as though it was glowing against her black scleras. If you were to look past her demonic features she was quite a beauty, by all standards. Upon closer inspection they noticed her six arms. Her top and bottom arms were grotesquely stretched out behind her, holding onto something, while her middle arms had their hands clasped together. Just behind those arms on her stomach held dark markings, the same that were on Sukuna’s stomach.

Looking around she made eye contact with everyone in the room, tilting her head to the side her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Turning to face the curses behind her everyone noticed how they kneeled before her, their heads not moving an inch to look up at her. However one curse had been so bold as to walk towards her.

“WhO iS tHiS? WeAk? I aM sTrOnGeR!” The garbled voice laughed at her delicate structure. The cursed lunged at her just as she turned to slowly look at them. Just as they jumped she tilted her head slightly to the side, catching the curse midair. The curses gasped and smiled at her display of strength while the shaman prepared for the worse.

The curse choked and groaned as she stared at it more. She tilted her head the other way, watching as the curse slowly became more and more twisted. Finally she frowned, almost like a child who didn’t like their toy, she shook her head and instantly the body was a twisted mess hitting the floor with a wet plop.

Jogo had let out a small cheer before standing up to applaud her. “Amazing! My La-” He was cut off by a gust of wind as he felt her hand cover his mouth. No one moved, too astonished by her sudden movement, it was as though she teleported. 

“Shh…”

He shook under her grip, however her delicate hand gently left him, dropping him to the ground as he tried to gather himself. Sharply turning her head her voice was barely above a whisper as she looked at Itadori.

“Sukuna…?”

In an instant she was in front of the boy who could only watch in fear as she held his head in her hands. Despite her delicate frame her body dwarfed his in size. Once again she whispered her King’s name, her hand gently stroking the marks under Itadori’s eyes. 

“What happened? My Sukuna...you’re not him, but you have him…?”

Her eyebrows furrowed, causing the shamans to jump into action in fear of the fate that Itadori would face, much like the curse from before. However just as they jumped, she held out her hands, catching them in mid air as she continued to look deep into Itadori’s eyes. No. She seems to look through him. 

“M-My Sukuna...give him back to me…”

She whimpered causing everyone to look shocked. Such a fearsome curse was crying. Large black tears rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed, begging for her King to come back. Itadori flinched as a voice echoed in his head.

“Switch with me.”

He fought back, however it was as though Sukuna was fighting back with a different kind of strength. As she continued to cry she felt a warm palm come to rest against her face, wiping her tears in a way that held such warmth and familiarity. 

“Don’t...cry…”

On the side of Itadori’s cheek was a second mouth which held the voice the woman had wanted to hear for so long. Dropping the shaman to the ground she grabbed his head once more to stare at the mouth of her lover. 

“Sukuna…! S-Sukuna…”

She sobbed quietly, holding Itadori to her chest. Despite being a curse with such monstrous strength, she held him so gently. Her scent felt familiar, yet it shouldn’t have. Bulking, Itadori shoved her back as he coughed up blood, his throat felt as though it were burning. 

It was then everyone noticed the light (colour) pollen that seemed to flutter off of her wings. The many shamans around her covered their mouths, some already falling to the poison as well. The curses behind her seemed to be unaffected, however some of the lesser curses with them started to look uneasy. 

Falling to his knees Itadori grabbed onto his throat, he felt his consciousness fading away slightly before it all went black. Steadily he stood up, now on his face were four bright red eyes that stared up to the woman, the markings on his face slowly turning opaque.

“It’s been a while, hasn't it (y/n)?”

With a gasp the woman lunged at him, engulfing him in her arms. Had this been 1000 years ago she would have been dwarfed by him, but now it was she who held him. She cried out his name, her whimpers of missing him and of how scared she was being heard by all.

“They took you away from me! How long has it been? I’ve only been awake for a few months.”

She stated causing all the remaining shamans to look alarmed. She had been the large awakening they felt those many moons ago. 

“Months? Heh, it’s been much longer, my love. It’s been a thousand years since I’ve returned.”

(y/n) gasped once more, shocked at how long it’s been. However, curses and shaman alike were surprised by his words. His love?

“I-I’m sorry...I should have found you sooner...I-I had to conserve my energy b-because-” 

A small cooing sound echoed in the room as Sukuna looked up at her in shock. Pulling away from him, the arms that had been stretched behind her moved in front of her. Within her arms held a small bundle, pulling down the cloth slightly Sukuna gasped at the sight before him. 

A small boy, only a few months old, gazed at him with strikingly similar red eyes with a black sclera. The baby’s scrunched face gave way to the marks underneath his eyes and down his chubby cheeks. A small hand pushed its way through the buddle which (y/n) quickly held onto, gently rubbing her thumb back and forth the baby’s hand.

“Susumu...say hi to, Papa.”

The woman cooed softly, however it was quickly ruined by the rushing of backup shaman, rushing to the scene and immediately firing off their attacks, all aimed at the woman and the bundle in her hands.

Without hesitation Sukuna blocked their attacks, drawing the two of them close to him before releasing his own attack to knock them all back. As the dust settled a small voice cried as a mother hushed her child but to no avail.

Turning to face his child Sukuna looked down at him owlishly. With a small smile the woman handed the crying child over to his father who held him so gently in his own arms. 

“Hello little one, quite the charmer aren’t you.”

He snickered at the almost toothless grin he received. Sukuna wiggled his fingers in front of his son causing the young boy to laugh however the joy was short lived until Sukuna grunted. In a rush he almost dropped their son, however he quickly gave him back to his mother.

“Damn it...No no no!”

He growled in anger before the markings disappeared leaving behind a confused Itadori. The poison had been cured causing his consciousness to return allowing him to take control once more. Hearing the fussing of a child he turned and looked at the shocked woman as she shakily held a child that reached out to him.

Taking a few confusing steps back the baby frowned before letting out a loud cry, however this time it was different. The loud cry let out a shockwave knocking back everyone and everything, except for his mother who looked down at the ground, tears pooling in her eyes once more. 

She aimlessly tried to soothe her child but their cries wouldn’t stop. Using all of her arms she held the baby close to her chest, soothing the child of the shockwave, but not of his tears. Biting her lip (y/n) looked at Itadori with tears in her eyes.

“W-Why? I don’t understand…”

The teenager opened his mouth however the sound of a liquid hitting the floor caused them all to look at the bleeding wound now coming from her chest. Looking down she noticed how her child no longer cried, but had a frown present on his bloody face. 

“He’s hungry…”

She murmured to herself before extending her wings to fly once again. Floating over she went to the twitching body of a weakened shaman. Looking down at him her hair stabbed through his chest causing him to let out a guttural choking sound before he paled, he skin wrinkled as though he aged significantly. 

“He’s hungry, I have to feed him...Food for Susumu.”

She now hummed looking around at the aray of shamans on the verge of death. Before anyone could breathe her hair stabbed each of them through their chest, each person gagging and gasping before she absorbed their energy. She was moving onto the next row before she felt a presence behind her. Itadori had attempted to punch her away however she easily dodged it. A section of her hair grabbed him by the wrist before holding him in the air.

“Please don’t do that...not while you look like h-him...Not while you look like my husband…”

She whimpered before floating towards the whole she created earlier. Looking back at him with a tearful expression, Itadori felt as though his heart was being taken out of him when she heard her broken sob.

“Why can’t I have him back?”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna x reader #sukuna x curse!reader #sukuna #itadori yuji

[erismerald]

Ｉ ｗｉｌｌ ｐｒｏｔｅｃｔ ｙｏｕ  (Credence Barebone x reader)

Part 2

Hey angels!!! So im back again, this time I'll dedicate this chapter to my baby boy Credence Barebone, I swear he really deserves a lot of love :3

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ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ:  Mentions of psychological and physical abuse, Blood, Semi-Mature, Cute

The boat was tearing the waves every second, towards New York. Your parents died about a month ago and now your nanny was taking you to a family that decided to adopt you, the family consisted of 4 members, Mary Lou (your new mother) and 3 brothers that you thought were your age, but you had no more information about them, the nanny preferred not to reveal more information.

Your eyes were filled with tears again, the longing for your mother's arms calming you down, and the fear you felt for living with complete strangers made your head too heavy, and because of that the nights have been a nightmare, you were already used to wake up screaming, calling your parents. Your thoughts left your skin burning and without noticing tears flowing down your cheeks as you looked at the horizon where you saw huge buildings increasing in size as the ship approached land, while you closed your eyes to try to imagine your mother's caring smile again, you felt a hand resting lightly on your shoulder, you turned around scared but you saw your Nanny smiling a little worried for you.

"Are you nervous, honey?" she asks you, pulling you closer, wrapping you in her arms and stroking your hair in an attempt to calm you down.

"A little..." you paused and pulled your body away from hers slowly and lifting your face so that you could look at her "I'm still overwhelmed by their death... it's been very hard, I don't know if I'll fit into this new family" you looked down and stared at your feet. Fear invaded your thoughts again but you were interrupted when your body was hugged with force. Your nanny put her hand on your face and faced you with a gentle smile.

"You don't need to be afraid, they will treat you well, and if you need something..." she stops and removes a small serpent shaped medal "just hold on to it and the fear won't bring you down again" she says and gives you the small medal.

"Whose was it?" Your eyes were analyzing the little object while you waited for an answer.

" Your mother, when she was studying at Hogwarts, we met there, and that was a gift given by your grandmother when she was chosen for the Slytherin house. She was proud, and she always wore that medal, it gave her courage and motivation...so I think you'll need it more than I do" she answered by approaching the edge of the boat looking at the sea, I followed her body and continued looking at my mother's medal.

You felt a smile on your lips and grabbed the little snake gently, through that little object you felt that your mother was still there, and you hoped that one day you would become as good a witch as she was.

When the car stopped in front of a house that looked like a church, your heart was beating constantly, your stomach was full of butterflies and your head was invaded by all kinds of thoughts, in a few seconds the door was opened and a hand was extended in front of you.

You grabbed the hand to support yourself and got out of the car looking at the pile of children coming out of the house, my instinct was to look at the nanny, and her reaction made your nervousness calm down a little.

You took a deep breath and walked towards the house followed by your faithful nanny, when you entered you saw a middle aged woman walking towards you and you felt a very strange energy coming from her, her smile seemed forced but even so she represented her joy in seeing you.

"Welcome dear! We were waiting for you" she says hugging your body and squeezing hard, almost stealing your air. Her gaze examined my body as if I had never seen a human being before, until it melted away when your nanny called her attention to talk. Meanwhile, you decided to observe the space around you, and in almost every corner it was possible to see anti-witch propaganda, my gaze despaired when I saw the prison where I was welcomed, how could I be accepted if they were against my kind?

My gaze analyzed corner by corner until my attention was stolen because of a powerful magical energy, I looked everywhere and felt my gaze heal with his.

He looked older than I was, and his body, even though it was muscled, looked frail and frightened, his gaze was black but he managed to steal all of my breath and made my cheeks burn.

He looked away from me quickly, looked nervous and scared of something, until I felt another pair of eyes analysing me, it was Mary Lou with her disapproving look at you when she saw that boy, after all who was he?

The nanny came up to you and gave me one last hug, and promised to visit you soon, at that moment your last memory of her was to see her body move away from you and disappear inside that car.

"So my child, it's time to introduce you to the rest of the family, what do you think? "Her voice echoed inside that little room and her hand picked up yours pulling you to the top floor.

As you walked upstairs the energy you had just felt began to grow stronger, and as you reached the floor you went into what was supposed to be the living room, your heart stopped beating again and your breathing became heavier when you saw him again.

Mary Lou sat down on the sofa waiting for you to follow her, and without delay sat down next to her facing your three new brothers.

" Well as I told you, from now on you'll have a new sister, this is Y/n, I hope you treat her well okay?" Mary lou looked at you then and smiled "This is Modesty, Chasity and Credence" she smiled again and got up and headed downstairs, followed by Credence, but first she stopped and looked back and headed to him

"Credence help her with her bags and take her to your room" she spoke harshly, it seemed their relationship was different, she was cold with him, maybe with time you can find out what was going on. But what she said was still in your head, your room? You'd have to share a room with a boy? You followed Credence until you reached the attic, it was a small room, but it was very cozy, and tidy, he had put your bags on the foot of your new bed and you just followed his body movements with your gaze, in a short time Credence felt himself being watched and looked at you timidly, and your gaze swerved quickly.

"I-i hope you feel comfortable here", he said, staring at the floor, his voice was hoarse but shy, he approached the door and stopped right in front of you.

 "D-dinner is almost ready, in a while Modesty will come and call you" he said and left the room.

«TIME SKIP»

A few hours went by and you were still nervous, not because you were in that family, even though the idea of calling Mary Lou a mother was completely unthinkable, but because you were going to sleep in the same room as Credence you couldn't deny how wrong it was for you to find Credence attractive, but now he was your brother you couldn't think of that, could you?

You were lying in bed watching your mother's necklace, it was really beautiful, it was green and full of emeralds and silver, but something called your attention, a leather noise hitting something, and sometimes you heard some moans of pain.

You got out of bed and even barefoot you went out of your room and walked towards the stairway, and the vision you had broke your heart into a thousand pieces. In front of you was Credence crying and with some blood on his body and hands and in front of him was Mary lou with a leather belt in her hand, her expression was of anger, your eyes turned again to Credence who at the same time looked at you scared and ashamed. Mary Lou followed his gaze to you and her expression froze, she approached you and would try to speak but realized that your gaze was in credence.

"I was just teaching your brother that he shouldn't be home late," she said with a little irony, her voice repulsed you, you couldn't believe that from now on you'd be living with a monster.

"By beating him?What kind of teaching is that?" Your voice echoed through the house, your anger was eminent.

"He MUST LEARN" she said in anger as she turned to hit him again, but your anger increased the adrenaline in your body and you ran in front of him trying to protect him.

The sound of the leather hitting your skin echoed again through the house, your eyes closed tightly in an attempt to ease the pain and contain the tears, Mary lou raised her belt once more and hit you again on your back and this time you felt the hot liquid dripping down your back Mary lou looked at you and still you killed your position in front of credence. She grumbled something and went downstairs until she left the church, closing the door tightly.

Finally you fell to your knees with your lips trembling, and with a great deal of anger, your gaze rose and stared at the gaze of credence that was frightened and worried about you, you stood up and took her hand, guiding him to the room, you sat him on the bed and looked at him and smiled softly.

"Where is the first aid kit?" You asked in a quiet, low voice, you wanted to take care of him, he's helpless, he needed you.

"In that wardrobe" he pointed with his hand shaking, you took his hand carefully and his reaction was to remove it immediately, you looked at him and smiled, standing up and walking to the wardrobe and taking the little box that had it.

You went back there again and calmly looked at him again:

"Credence my love, can I take care of your wounds?" you asked quietly and he just nodded "for that I'll need you to remove your shirt please" this time your voice was shaking, it was the first time you'd even see a boy without a shirt, he hesitated but nodded, and started to unbutton his shirt while you burned with shame and tried to look the other way.

When he finally believed he had removed the tissue from his body you examined his body for injuries, his arms were full of bruises and his back a bit bloody, his gaze was glued to yours, his face was flushed, and you could see that his breathing was speeding up.

His body and the very attractive even with the scars, it took you some time to get all the wounds on her back treated, and now you were addressing her hands. The silence was comfortable, he felt confident with you what was new to him, he watched every move you made and blushed every time your eyes went in. He was worried about you, and felt a strong connection when you put yourself in front of him to protect him, he could see the pain on your face, he felt guilty.

You noticed his expression, which changed from calm to serious, and it left you worried

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry I'm not very good with injuries" you said apologizing for any pain you gave him

"No...I'm just worried about you" his answer made your heart stop a bit "she hurt you...you need care too" he said softly and a bit ashamed.

"Oh sure, let me just finish putting the bandage on your hand, okay?" you said equally embarrassed. When you finished you let go of his hand carefully and let him put something on, you looked at him and with a nervous and shy look you turned on your back and knelt in front of him.

Credence followed your movements with his gaze and felt his heart shooting, you removed your nightgown showing your back to him, his breathing accelerated when he saw your naked skin exposed to him, and even more when he saw the dried blood on your skin. His chest was invaded by the feeling of sadness, he approached you and put his hand on your back, which made your body stretch, the feeling of his touch on your skin, it was too pleasant for you, he was gentle, he didn't want to hurt you, so he tried to be as careful as possible with you., his hands were delicate but robust and soon  the feeling of a cold liquid goin' down your back, made you move away a little bit.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked immediately, you looked ahead and saw the rain hitting the window of the room, and a few seconds later you looked towards him covering your chest, you felt his gaze descending and a little later staring at the floor, he was embarrassed to see a girl's body for the first time.

"No, don't worry dear, it was just the feeling of cold" you said and you turned to the front feeling your cheeks cheeks cheering, he just let out an "oh" and went on with what he was doin

Credence stopped for a moment...he knew what pain was since he was little, and seeing the mark on your back made his eyes fill with tears, he didn't know what he felt for you the moment he saw you, how he could trust so much a stranger, but seeing your act of courage in protecting him made his heart open to you.

You were not understanding what was happening, and suddenly your thought was invaded when the arms of credence wrapped around your body holding you tight.

He hides his face in your neck and you begin to feel his tears running down your neck, you couldn't move, he grabbed your body with affection, and even though you were half naked in front of him, he didn't care.

Your heart was a thousand, you just wanted to feel his arms wrapping your delicate body:

"I'm sorry..." he says with a trembling voice, his response moved your heart, you turned to him slowly holding the fabric of your nightgown over your breasts, you look at him and he stared at the floor, you delicately put your hand on his face, he came closer trying to feel more warmth coming from you, even with his gaze on the floor.

"Why?" your voice was like a whisper, your thumb stroked his cheek, waiting for an answer from him, and finally his gaze was stuck to yours, his eyes were red from crying, his reaction was unexpected, his face approached yours and little by little you could feel his breath near your mouth, and finally his lips touch yours.

It was a simple and innocent kiss, without maliciousness, his body stuck to yours and you felt your hands letting go of the clothes that covered your breasts, your arms embraced his body and his hands wrapped your back.

A few seconds later you felt him walking away without air, his gaze was still red, but when he looked down and saw your body sitting on his lap and saw your skin uncovered, he closed his eyes tightly, when you noticed your body you immediately left his lap and put on your pajamas again.

"You don't have to apologize to me Believe me, I promise you I will protect you from that monster, and you don't have to be afraid or apologize to me... I will take care of you" you said looking at him with a shy smile

"I want to protect you too, I won't let her touch you again, I'm sorry Y/n for what happened" he looked at you and you saw the most honest smile of your life, he was really beautiful and sweet, your will to protect him was immense... is it too soon to admit that you had fallen in love with him?

He put his gaze on you, his thought was invaded by emotions, he couldn't help noticing how delicate you were and how attractive your body was, you noticed his gaze and he was fixed on your body, and your cheeks turned red.

You said, "I think we'd better go to sleep" and you were going to lie down on your bed when Credence holds your hand, looks back and sees his eyes glued to your hand.

"Can I sleep with you?" he asked shyly.

"Of course...come on" you held his hand and pulled him up to my bed and let him settle down and then I lay down beside him, his head rested on my chest, and his arms wrapped your body.

The sound of rain made the room even more cozy and little by little you felt your eyes closing...the warmth of credence made you feel protected, and the love and affection you showed Credence made his heart open to you.

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Would you like part two? I hope you enjoyed this story :3 <333

#credence barebone #credence barebone smut #credence barebone x reader #credence fantastic beasts #credence x reader #credence barebone x plus zise reader #ezra miller imagine #ezra miller #Ezra miller x reader #Ezra miller x plus size reader #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beats the crimes of grindelwald #harry potter books #harry potter imagines #kevin khatchadourian #kevin khatchadourian x reader #we need to talk about kevin #flash

[calpops]

gone | c.h.

In which Calum has to navigate the new world of being a single father and all the hardships and emotions that come with it; for him and his children. 

Anonymous: Not to break your heart BUT imagine Declan crying and missing his mum and not understanding where she went and Calum trying to so hard to calm down and reassure him that won’t leave but he’s just so sad :( 

A Hood Family Adventures One Shot

Word Count: 1k

***

Night had crawled into the sky hours ago and yet Calum was still awake. Tossing and turning in the sheets with a heavy heart and burning eyes. He knew the end was coming long before it happened, yet the sting and the ache of reality settling in around him was no less painful. Tucking the kids in for bed had been quite the affair, his oldest—Declan being only three years old—asked questions he didn’t know how to answer. His youngest—Adelaide, barely even a year—somehow looked at him with knowing eyes as he settled her into her crib. The house was quiet but Calum could hear his heart beating loud in his ears, could feel it low in his stomach and fast against all odds. He was wired and awake with a sadness he’d never known before. He mourned for himself, the loss of his own relationship, but more than anything else he felt for his kids. He felt the betrayal they were too young to understand and he was too apprehensive to explain. He felt the abandonment and the loneliness. He felt everything for them and because of them. When sleep evaded him and he knew tossing and turning was doing no good he pulled himself up out of bed. He crept down the hallway as quietly as possible; not wanting to wake the kids as it’d taken ages to get them to sleep.

He couldn’t help but check on them, stopping first at Addie’s room, her door always open. He knew she was asleep due to the baby monitor he kept on him being silent but he still needed to see her; heart begging for his kids to be okay. When he found her sound asleep a ripple of emotion consumed Calum; he knew she was too young to understand and too young to remember when she was old enough to. For that he was almost grateful. But for the years of wonder and heart hurting curiosity of why she would have to endure he was torn to pieces. He sucked in a shaken breath and stumbled backwards, out of her room and across the hall. Declan’s door was closed as he usually liked it at night. Duke would be in with him; especially on a night where tears accompanied him to sleep. The old dog was protective in every sense. 

Calum slowly opened the door just enough to see in. The night light plugged into the wall at Declan’s bedside illuminated him in a soft blue glow. Calum held his breath as he took in the sight of his son. His curls were wilder than ever and Calum assumed he’d been tossing and turning too. Tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes broke Calum’s heart. He’d done his best to comfort his son, held him close, rocked him and tried to explain. Tried to get words that tasted like venom out between clenched teeth. He tried not to break his heart anymore than what it already was. Duke was curled into his side and only spared Calum a glance before nuzzling closer to the small boy.

Declan stirred and sat bolt upright in a split second, his voice was small and strained. “Dad?”

Calum moved into the room and bypassed the toddler bed rail to sit on the bed. Declan didn’t hesitate to climb into his lap, a fresh wave of tears becoming both of them. It was hard to breathe for Calum; chest gone tight and throat burning. He couldn’t get out any words to calm the three year old falling apart in his lap. All he could do was hold him tighter. Brush through his tangled curls and hum a tune that was familiar and usually soothing. Calum could tell Declan was trying to keep quiet, knowing Addie was sleeping and not wanting to wake her. He was only three years old and already super protective of his baby sister.

With his vulnerable and breaking son crying his heart out in his lap Calum’s eyes shut and memories took hold. He remembered the cries of Declan as a newborn; the tears that welled in his own eyes and the overwhelming happiness that came with the arrival of his first born. Calum was wrapped around Declan’s tiny finger as soon as he first saw him. He remembered the cries of Declan the first time he fell while learning to walk. He also remembered the tears that welled in Declan’s eyes when Addie was born; the joy of having a baby sister overwhelming the toddler to the point of tears of happiness. Even at two and three years old Declan was selfless and compassionate beyond his years.

Watching his son fall apart sent anger striking through Calum. It was a warm and fast spread of anguish laced with hostility. It had only been two days since the kids mother had left yet resentment was already building a home in Calum’s heart, built with tattered pieces of his trust and love and the life he was supposed to be able to give his children. He was mad beyond comprehension at her. But he knew he needed to let go of that anger in order to hold onto his kids; Declan needed him, he needed his dad to be the same for the changes that were already beginning in the home were too much to handle. Calum needed to be the constant.

“Is momma gonna come home?” Declan asked through the quiet sobs that wracked his small body. He asked that question for what felt like the millionth time in just two days. And again Calum found himself without an answer. Or, rather, an answer he wanted to shelter his son’s heart from—Calum knew it was already broken, he didn’t want to be responsible for any more damage.

So Calum didn’t answer. All he did was all that he could. He held him closer and tighter. He promised he was there. That he would always be there. He would never leave. It took hours to calm Declan back down, for the sobs to subside and the heartache to be drowned out by exhaustion. Getting him through the night was just one battle in the new world they faced. 

“Momma’s gone,” Declan whispered, voice worn and weary, against Calum’s chest and Calum knew those two words were a harsh reality that they were all going to have to get through; together.

When Declan finally gave in, his exhaustion winning out and closing his eyes for sleep, Calum carried him to his room. Tucked him into bed and silently went back to Addie’s room. She didn’t stir when Calum picked her up and only let out a small sigh when he held her close and brought her to his room, an extra crib in there for nights when she was too fussy and wanted to be close. Tonight, Calum wanted them both close. As a reminder for them that he was there for them. As a reminder that he still had them.

***

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Copyright 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This work is not allowed to be posted by anyone else on any platform in any format (translations included).

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[anonymous0writer]

The Words We Never Said II Sarah Cameron

Author: @anonymous0writer

Warnings: Sarah’s death?? ANGST

Summary: You’ve always been in love with your best friend, Sarah Cameron. But you’ve kept your feeling close to your heart as you watched her fall in love with other boys. And dealing with the loss of the girl after she ran off with the John B. is not easy. Especially when a realization comes to light.

Pairings: RafexReader KelcexReader SarahxReader but they all are platonic :)

A/N: Big shout out to my girl Jackie @calumbroutledge bc her fic gave me inspiration and whoo-wee I haven’t written in a long time. Anyways, here ya go.

also if this is bad IM SO SORRY

Tags so this doesn’t flop: @jayjaymaebank​ @decap-quadrant​ @starkeystyles​ @thelocalpogue​ @socialwriter​

The picture. The damn picture had your heart tumbling out of its carefully placed pieces and breaking apart once again. Because of the picture.

The portrait. Of her in her shining glory and brightly smile. A gasp ripped from your chapped lips, a tell tale sing you were about to fall to your knees. Gasping, you tried to tear your gaze away but you couldn’t. It was painful to look, but looking away made your heart ache, reminding you of the empty place in the cavity of your chest. A ragged breath filled and emptied your chest.

You gazed at her, taking the stinging time to memorize her features. You studied the sweep of her blonde hair, the edges curling slightly from the salty air. The soft curve of her full, shiny lips as they broke into a smile. One she flashed to strangers on the street and gave whenever your days were plagued with your darker thoughts. You admired her eyes, crinkled at the edges from her broad grin, glimmering with joy and something else you couldn’t quite place. The emotion was tucked away, expertly hidden, but you, of course, could pick it out. Your shoulders sagged as you stared hard into her painted eyes, trying not to cry. The familiar glint of her wasn’t there. Because it wasn’t a live photo. It was a painting, a smear of mixed paints and colors to create a replica of the real thing. But Sarah was too bright to ever be captured on a canvas. Her light too great to ever be tamed.

Without realizing it, a sob tumbled out of your throat, weak and broken. But with it came a scream. A scream of desperation and hollowness of a lost one forever torn. your lips dropped and your throat burned but you released your feelings through your vocal chords. Your scream died to a broken gasping, but tears swam down your cheeks in little rivers. Another wave, another memory stabbed at you, making your knees go weak and another cry erupting from your lips. You stumbled backward, unable to hold yourself up, sorrow tugging you down.

Footsteps shuffled behind you quickly, and arms scooped beneath your armpits as you hit the floor. the strong arms pulled your back to their chest, keeping you from freaking out further. You couldn’t stop it now. The cries of grief falling from your lips in an unending spill of emotions. You sobbed, unable to see in front of you. In your haze of sorrow, you flailed, hands flying and feet trying to find purchase on marble floor. A grunt escaped the boy before you, but he tugged you closer, trying to keep you under control. Lord knows what this weight of grief would make you do. Your nails gripped his broad arms tightly, digging half moons into his flesh, but he did not stop holding you.

You gave up, too weak to continue your fight. You collapsed in his arms, sobs racking your delicate body. Your head dropped to his chest, his warmth radiating from all points of connection. You gripped his shirt, hands balling into the fabric. His large hands came up to rest tentatively on your back, trying desperately to soothe your aching heart and grieving mind. Your crying created a heart breaking symphony in the foyer of the Cameron house. You shook violently as you broke your connection to the boy holding you to see who it was. Looking up through your wet lashes, you found the saddened face of Kelce looking down at you. Your eyes met, your red rimmed ones meeting his dark orbs. Your hiccups stopped abruptly, and you sniffed, eyes going wide. His dark eyes were like Sarah’s. His face was in the slant of light coming through the windows, turning the golden auburn color you were so familiar with.

A scream ripped from your throat, and your feet fought for purchase once again, arms pinwheeling as you scrambled backwards. Her eyes- his eyes- hurt more than you could fathom. The memories came flooding back like a broken dam, the pain of it dragging across your skin like barbed wire. You hurried away and quickly you back hit a wall. Your eyes were wide and brimming with tears of hurt as you stared at your friend. Tears soon blurred your vision again, sending everything into a frenzy and your heart racing and slamming against your ribs. You were hyperventilating by this point, hands shaking uncontrollably and cries filling the foyer once again.

Kelce stared at you with dismay, his own heart cracking at sight of your broken figure, slumped and hyperventilating, tears streaming down your red cheeks. The memory of your nails still hovered over his skin, and the ghost of your form shaking in his hold scared him. He hated seeing you this way, so broken and irreversibly sad. He craved to calm you down, help you, but he knew he couldn’t near you without you bursting into hysterics again. Kelce swallowed the lump in his throat and called for the one person he knew would help you. Rafe.

“Rafe!” he called desperately, voice breaking at the end of his call. He was careful not to make any sudden movements, but he wanted to hold you close and tell you it was gonna be alright. You were the happy go lucky girl. The excellent surfer and strongest person he knew. And to see you- his friend- to be such a bright light dimmed, made his heart hurt.

The eldest Cameron came into the room, blue eyes finally landing on you. You buried your face in your hands, trying to wipe away the tears that kept on coming. A broken sob met Rafe’s ears as he knelt before you, his voice soft and coaxing.

“Hey,” he murmured, needing you to look at him and calm down. His voice was as soft as someone who understood could be. He knew the feeling that would linger behind your heart like a nasty shadow. It was already on his heart, him finding closure much quicker than you. For you, it was like a fresh, gaping wound, each time your eyes or thoughts wandered to something relating to Sarah cutting it open all over again. “Y/N.” he said more forcibly, a slight beg raising his voice. “Look at me, okay?”

You looked up as soon as his large hands rested on your arms, the warmth of them sending shock waves through your chilled body. You met Rafe’s blue eyes and caught your breath. In them you found the sea, and the peace you needed to still your racing heart. You hiccuped, mouth tugging into a grief ridden frown.

“I know.” The boy whispered, voice just loud enough to travel to your ears. “But it’s alright. You-“

“How?”

Your voice cut through the shocked silence of the room, coming out choked and hoarse. Rafe’s eyes flickered over your face, taking in the puffy, red eyes, the tear stained cheeks, the trembling lips. He swallowed. He knew how much his sister meant to you and visa versa.

What he didn’t know was how you were in love with her. Stricken dead by her beauty and golden soaked skin, shining eyes and breathtaking smile. But you’d fallen in love when you learned her. Learned the way she spoke about her family, mouth tilting up and her eyes shrinking as she smiled. Learned the way her hand fit perfectly into yours when she dragged you to places or just grabbed it for support. You learned the way she laughed when she found something really funny, mouth wide open, full, hearty laughs filling the space. You learned the way her presence brighten a room, just the whisper of her brought everyone’s mood up. You learned the way she whispered her secrets to you, voice low and almost raspy as she giggled and confided in you in the dark of her room. You learned the way she breathed when she was sleeping, on her side and facing you and she snuggled closer when you slept over. You fell in love with Sarah Cameron as soon as you learned her being. And you fell only deeper as she grabbed a hold of you and submerged you into her life, making yours such a vibrant one. You knew here reputation with people. How she grew close and reeled them in and then let them loose once they got a little too close. And maybe that’s the reason why you thought she felt the same. Because she kept you. But once enough saw her mouth against the pogues that worked on her father boat, you knew you were wrong. And when she ran away and disappeared in the churning waves of the ocean with him, you knew she never ever felt the same way. You were just another sister. Someone you almost had to love. Another wheezie. Perhaps she meant to let you go but the waves took her before that happened.

You choked on your grief but continued. “How is this alright?” your voice quirked up, riddled with pain. “How is Sarah begin gone okay? How is any of this okay?!” you hollered, as loud as you could without breaking down.

You watched the blue eyed boy before you flinch away from you words. Both of you knew they were spoken out of grief, but they hurt nonetheless. The waterworks started, and you cried harder because of it. You hated the way you broke so easily. Broke down and cried like it was the easiest thing in the world. Cried like you were weak. You knew it was wrong for you thoughts to twist this way, but the only person who could change them was crushed and lost to the Atlantic ocean.

Rafe’s throat bobbed and his hands moved from your shoulders. You quickly swallowed the rising scream, and tried to regain control over yourself.

“She’s gone!” you sobbed as Rafe enveloped you in a hug. His warmth spread through you, trying to soothe you. You broke down against Rafe’s chest, crying and sobbing. You kept repeated the words ‘she’s gone’ into the soft material. Anger rose in your blood, painting your eyelids red. It built up, rage at the world - for taking Sarah away from you. In fit, you slammed your fist against Rafe’s chest.

“She’s gone! Sarah’s gone, Rafe!” your voice was raw and begging. Begging him to take away your hurt in any way he could.

“I know- trust me. I know.” he whispered, his nose flaring as he tried not to join you in crying. You gave up trying to be strong and collapsed against the boy.

You stayed like that, on the floor and crying. You had wrapped your arms under his arms and gripped him tightly as Rafe held you back with the same intensity. As if you held each other tight enough, you wouldn’t fall apart, and you’d be ok. Your sobs quieted, and you sniffled harshly, burying your face in the crook of the boys neck. 

You almost wanted to laugh. It was always the Cameron’s hold you together, wasn’t it?

Without trying, your eyes traveled to find the portrait. Hung delicately on the wall, resting softly as it displayed the occupant of the house proudly. And indeed, she was beautiful. But that’s not what caught your attention. It was the glint in her dark eyes. The usual joy in her eyes was there, but that hidden emotion. You finally realized what it was. Love. Pure love, consuming and overwhelming.

And then it hit you. Sarah wasn’t looking at the painter. 

She had been looking at you.

#obx #outer banks #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #sarah cameron #sarah obx #sarah outer banks #sarah cameron x reader #rafe #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #kelce #kelce outer banks #kelce x reader #angst #anonymous0writer #writing #imagine #sarah angst #john b x sarah

[goth-girlfriend]

Hi could I get a match up please? I’m a straight female and i’m about 5’2 and ive got long straight hair. I’m not too shy like i still find it hard to talk to people but if im more comfortable im really open and talkative. I’m really protective over my friends. I am really impulsive like I once woke up and decided to just get three ear piercings. I’m a dancer that specializes in ballet and I love playing the piano and the violin. I’m also love to cuddle everyone and I’m lowkey really clingy

🥦🥦🥦 💚💚💚 🥦🥦🥦 💚💚💚 🥦🥦🥦

🥦Midoriya🥦

Hear me out, precious broccoli boi, is confused as to how, but not why he fell for you. Especially during the impulsive times, he panics and just tries to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.

You both start off awkward, but no one, NO ONE can resist his bright eyes and smile. So somehow, somewhere, along the lines, you found yourself actually becoming friends with him.

Now, realizing he liked you took a while on the both of you. He was to focused on becoming the best hero, that when you cheered him on he assumed it’s because you’re a great friends. And when he got blush’s and nervous around you, you assumed it was because he was just nervous around girls. The irritation that filled Mina was overwhelming, how could two people not see the connection? The OBVIOUS CONECTION?!

Well, that was at the start of your fiend ship, now, it’s confusing. One day your both sitting in silence, smiling at nothing, occasionally brushing shoulders and hands walking down the hall, the next talking and laughing disrupting the peace. Occasional platonic hand holding when fear strikes and freezes your joint and all you can do is quake in the face of fear.

But, what really made your classmates think you were dating was the day Mina shared a video of you sitting at a piano, playing staring gently at the keys, eyes slightly lidded, soft smile, the pads of your fingers gently grazing each key, and the boy in question, was smiling, staring at you, a faint blush on his cheeks, his smile was gentle but wide, his hands resting in his lap as he watched how you played with pure enjoyment until your heart was content.

But what he didn’t know was that the song you played, some what reminded you of him. You didn’t know much about his past, but he did tell you a fair amount, and now you can only connect him to one thing, “Talk To Me” by Cavetown.

Now, taking the lyrics quite litteraly he once messaged you at 2 almost 3 in the morning, worrying about himself and doubting he’ll be a hero. And just like that, impulses took over, you grabbed your pillow blanket and didn’t answer his messages. He was scared away from his phone at the banging on his door.

It opened and in you cans complimenting and praising him in hushed shouts. It would’ve been threatening and scary had the words not been so kind. He cried, and you held him. You both sat on the floor talking it out, and soon your adrenaline dropped and there you were, sitting leaning against his bed, legs stretched out, his right hand clasped between both of yours in your lap as your head rested on his shoulders. He yawned and your eyes started to feel heavy.

That day you spent the night, he’d managed to get you both into his bed, he faced away from you to give you a sense of privacy, what he didn’t expect was for you to hug his chest form behind and press you cheek between his shoulders. His hands held yours over his chest, legs intertwined. Some point through the night you both shifted, now laying on your sides facing each other, you still hugged his chest, one of his arms hugging your waist the other you used as a pillow so he could keep his hand on the back of your head holding it secure against his neck and shoulder.

The morning was normal, you both went about that Friday as usual, and it would be a lie to say this was the only time it happened. Months passed before it was made obvious to you, you maybe might just maybe, if you look at it the right way....like him.

:) you love him, and well? He didn’t say it straight out because it turns out, this boy? Hopeless romantic. Only when his minds not cluttered with being the best hero he can be.

He accidentally confessed infront of his class during a training, Aizawa just watched blankly AND EVERYONE minus Shoto, Iida, Momo, Toko and Shoji acted out about not being able to believed our guys weren’t already dating. His small speech was cute to you and squeezed your heart and a few other hearts.

“Y/n,” your name was a whisper in the dark, you turned around seeing the sunrise finally starting, it’s light shinning behind him, the green haired boy you dragged out, on a Sunday morning, at 5:20 to watch a sunrise on the beach that had recently be cleaned up.

“Come on! Almost there!” You rushed back to grab his hand and pulled him along, in one hand a violin case, in the other, now his hand. You’d waited for this moment, and now it’s here, he didn’t know why, but for you, it was something special to share sunrises this beautiful with someone you adore.

He hugged as you finally mad wit to the beach and stopped, right at the edge of the dock, you kicked off your shoes and sat down toes touching the cold morning waters, giving you chills, but filling you with a sense of nostalgia that made your bones ache. Still you smiled and patted the spot next to you. The sun now infront of you, you placed the case aside and leaned your head on his shoulder, he smiled down at you before leaning his own head on yours, both your hand and his sat between you fingers brushing slightly as the sun started to make the water glimmer in ways that became blinding. You sighed, happy you had a friend that would put up with your strange antics. You wiggle dcloser to him and took his hand in yours.

“I want to play something!” You said and stood up, letting his hand go with regret.

He watched you as you pulled out your violin, he was scared it’s take damage along the trip, seeing as you didn’t worry much he assumed it was fine, getting comfortable in a stance you took you got ready, closing your eyes and testing the strings before you started.

He watched in aw at how your fingers moved and how you seemed at peace with it. The way your head swayed and a smile made its way to you face, reaching your eyes even if he couldn’t see them.

The rest of the day, you convinced him to walk around with you. Both of you just wasting time and avoiding studies. It’s obvious to anyone who’d seen you that day, that with the two of you, even at such a young age, Love was pure, it was beautiful in its raw form, and here, the two unknowing held it, true beauty with out knowing.

Until, Midoriya was smacked upside the head and yelled at by Mina, he finally understood, he understood why with you, things had become different. Why he was no longer nervous with you, why he could tell you embarrassing things and stories and not feel judged, when you said the words talk to me about anything, he didn’t say yeah and internally not believe, he said “I Will.” Knowing he would. He now understands why, he looks for your hand on cold days, and your form on nights you’d usually come over to make him watch a movie, he’d cared enough to track your impulses, and kinda made a messy time line of repetition, also being able to calculate when it might happen. He loves watching you play and enjoy the sounds you make with the things you love. He’d only seen you dance a number of times, by he’s kept them all in his heart remembering the concentrated look and passion in your eyes. Why you went to UA is beyond him, your do much better following your passion.

But that’s not the point, the point is, he started talking to you like normal, and then before you knew it, the class was watching as he started to really let out his raw emotions.

“Y/n!” He called for you, why so loudly you’ll never know, you were right beside, like you promised you’d always be.

“I love you!” He said in a loud voice but not screaming, his eyes forced closed as he looked down, hands in fists, “I love everything about you,” it was a whisper.

“Your smile, the way your playing shows your hearts true intentions, I love the way you live your own life, doing things when you want to, the way you want, I love how you care about others deeper than the words that come from your mouth. You believe that I can become a true hero, youve supported me and in the nights when I feel at my lowest, you spent hours talking to me, and helping, holding my hand and wiping my tears away, I love the way your hands hold on tight when you feel fear, and how you trust me to protect you, I love how no matter what comes you’ll always put yourself in the way to save others, but please, let me be the one to wipe your tears, and hold your hand when your scared, let me be your hero.” He let out a few tears.

But you were about to start ugly crying, the tears came out, you brought yours to cup then over your mouth and wiped your tears away before you hugged him and cried into his neck and shoulder, he hugged your waist, chin finding it’s place on your head.

“I love you Midoriya, I wanted to tell you but I was afraid. Now I know, that I never should’ve been afraid to love you.” You squeezed him and squeezed you back.

You were broken out of your crying by Aizawa complaining about wasting time and all of you needing to get to practice. So you did, and the two of you crushed it, full of joy and drive, fueling you to succeed and prove your worth to the other.

The nights never changed, you still cuddled into his side hugging him, he still held you tight to his side, hands running through your hair, only now, you’d fluster him by kissing his jaw or cheek at random times to keep him on the edge of his seat.

“Good night, Midoriya,” you hugged his side, “I...love you.”

You watched him blush and he turned resting his chin on your head so you wouldn’t see his face, “I-I love you too.” He brought one of his hands to cover his face as you laughed quietly against his chest relishing in his warmth and the love you could feel radiating off of him.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Forgive me, I know that the song is about four pieces overlaid, but I love it, and I think you guys should give it a listen. I completely forgot about it since....6th grade years???

I hope you like it! Nows a perfect time for a water break! Just saying! 💙

#buko no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #izuku x reader #midoriya x you #midoriya x reader #deku x reader #midoriya fluff #izuku fluff #deku fluff #deku x reader fluff #mha fluff #bnha fluff #mha ask blog #bnha ask blog #fill my inbox #fill my ask #bnha matchup #mha matchup #open match ups #match ups

[oisaaac]

“ Six feet under ”

Pairing: Crowley x Reader

Summary: Crowley decides to pay a little visit to his one and only love.

Warnings: angst, character death, sad boi crowley

Notes: English isn't my native language, so sorry for any mistakes this hasn't been proofread either.

This is very out of the blue and maybe a little cliché idk, but i hope some of you enjoy it nonetheless <3

kinda off from the original show plot but try to bare with me uwu

inspired from billie eilish's song 'six feet under'

Help, I lost myself again

But I remember you

Thick heavy grey clouds shrouded above the cemetery as if it read Crowley's mood. It was the same heavy weight he felt everyime he decides to pay you a visit. The same weight that seems to get heavier as time ticks by.

It had been a year since you died. A year that seems to be dreadfully longer than the time Crowley stayed above earth.

It was always a reminder for him how different his celestial form is from a human being like you. You always joked around that he had to see you die at some point—with grey hair and wrinkling skin while he didn't age even a bit, yet look where he is now.

He didn't expect it to come too soon, too fast, too sudden and too painful. It made him think what was really God's ineffable plan? He couldn't even ask it himself. Besides it was ineffable after all.

He should've seen this coming though. A demon falling in love with a human? Both of you knew things can't get normal. For one he was an immortal under a lot of circumstances and you on the other hand was—fragile. The moment you saw the bright light when you were brought to this world you were already hanging on a thin thread. Surviving for only a small barrowed time. Crowley always thought it was some kind of inside joke made by God, a very cruel joke.

Small droplets started to fall down from the sky as Crowley stood looking at the flowers he have in his hands.

You would've loved this. He thought to himself kneeling down on the moist grass, not bothered by the uncomfortable feeling of the contact with his jeans before staring at your grave stone.

It still feels unreal for him, seeing your name precisely carved on the stone which made his heart wrenched.

Retrace my lips

Erase your touch

It's all too much for me

But Crowley knew he would rather feel the pain in his chest over and over again rather than forget about you even if he could never be the same when he was with you.

His closest friend Aziraphale felt pity for the demon, but loving someone always has a cost to pay and he could only give much reassurance to his dear friend. Besides, he was somehow at fault considering you died in his shop trying to help him. Crowley didn't blame the angel though, knowingly you wouldn't either, but that didn't stop him from blaming himself and giving the silent treatment to the angel (which Aziraphale understood where he was coming from) for months. You would have opposed to if you knew, knowing their friendship was one of the strongest bonds you had ever seen. Luckily they were good now yet Crowley still needed more time to mourn.

You were always so kind and gentle, one of the traits Crowley loved about you. Good or bad you seem to look surpass every label knowing it was more than just what they perceive. To you Crowley isn't just the demon who had fallen to spread evil, he was your Crowley; your sassy kind hearted loving demon. He never wanted to have such vulnerability, but he let himself otherwise.

Of course he didn't regret any of it. He would need to die first before he ever regrets choosing a path with you in it. Even if he knew the moment you walked in Aziraphale's bookshop clumsily waltzing in his life only to bring this kind of pain he was currently feeling he would never choose of you not being a part of him. If only he could have had more time just one more second to see you smile, to feel your soft touch, to look directly into your loving eyes that made him feel like he was home. It sometimes brought Crowley anxiety with the thought that he didn't deserve what he was feeling with you—the joy, appreciation and love, yet you always said that he did, he did deserve happiness but the tragedy that comes with it had come unforeseen.

Blow away

Like smoke in air

How can you die carelessly?

Why did you have to go inside? Why didn't you just wait for me. You were human afterall. You weren't built to withstand heavy flames and thick smokes. You've always been so reckless for the sake of others. You knew it was dangerous, but you risked your life nonetheless.

Crowley laid the flowers near your headstone before he caressed the letters of your name closing his eyes trying to remember every detail of your face.

"Just for a second. If you're really listening to everyone's prayer then bid mine. Just for a second. Look at me you've foresaken me and let me fall into the pit yet here I am calling out for you." He looked up calling out to somebody, something or someone who was listening to his mantra. "Please!" He choked through the verge of tears. "I love her. I'll always will. If this is my sin then punish me for eternity, but let me see her just for a second." The only response a low rumble of thunder and finally the heavy clouds opened its gates letting the rain freely fall from the heavens camouflaging Crowley's tears.

They're playin' our sound

Layin' us down tonight

And all of these clouds

Crying us back to life

But you're cold as a night

It was no use. You're gone. The pain settled in his chest eating his insides. It was his punishment after all.

Crowley was soaked by the time he was snapped out of his small trance. He fixed the flowers on your grave before putting the individual red rose in the middle remembering how much you loved that red flower then grabbing the old ones to dispose them before standing up and taking one last glance of you until his next visit.

He whispered his promise that he would come back over and over for the rest of his eternity, he had all the time in his hands anyways.

Six feet under

I can't help but wonder

If our grave was watered by the rain

Bloom

Bloom

Again

Crowley turned around to head over his bentley only to be met by your e/c eyes. He didn't even realized his grip on the flowers loosened as he blinked once, twice, more than enough to make sure he wasn't seeing things while raining and there you were like an epiphany standing on your red dress drenched in rain smiling like an idiot at him. You took deliberate steps closing in the gap between the two of you while you kept your eyes locked on his yellow serpent eyes that you grew to love.

"Y/n," Crowley whispered still trying to figure out how.

"Crowley," You put your hand on his cheeks caressing his wet skin with your thumb. You didn't even understood how, but you were happy. You missed him so much that you didn't say another word and just leaned in connecting your lips with his he didn't respond at first, but slowly he recognized you. It was really you, his beloved y/n. He had so many questions hanging on the back of his head, but he didn't dare to utter any of them. He didn't want to let you go and waste whatever miracle it was that brought you here.

All the muscles in each of your bodies molded into one. You and Crowley were in sync like a melody that you both practiced over and over again. Your hands made its way on the back of his neck tangling your fingers on his wet ginger locks, Crowley's hands gripped you tight yet at the same time gently trying not to break you under his touch. The intensity of yearning and all the other emotions that comes with it all swirled into one.

Out of breath you both parted staring at eachothers eyes. "I love you too." You softly spoke your truth.

Maybe whatever was up there was really listening. Either way Crowley held on you to the very last second of your borrowed time.

"We'll be together again someday." You reassured him while you smiled. Crowley just studied your face and for the first time in a while genuinely smiled and was happy. And it was enough as goodbye for the both of you... for now.

Help, I lost myself again

But I remember you

Kinda long A/N: honestly idk what to feel about this if its good or not in my 19 years of existence i always wrote fanfics imagines and stuffs but usually i usually put it up then delete it later because i dont have any confidence of my work but im trying again. this is my first time posting in tumblr though.i hope this is good, like it gave you feels because it did when i wrote it. please don't kill me that i made crowley straight oof 🥺 sorry for any mistakes again! thank you for taking time on reading this and if you reblog and press the heart thingy thank you so much i will love you forever 💕

#crowley x reader #crowley #anthony j crowley #good omens #david tennant #aziraphale #crowley imagine