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#gojo angst
saintobio · 1 day
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sincerely yours. (10)
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↳ gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 
tags/warnings. depression, intoxication, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships,
notes. important announcement ! as you all know, this series has always had an extensive approach into detailing the events in its side stories (ie. sera x sukuna x naoya, yuuji x megumi, maki x yuuta x miwa, etc), but while writing the chapters, the word count and the plot building had become too exhausting for me to produce consistently, esp with the amount of scenes and side stories i was introducing to the story, so i've decided it's best for me to stick to the main characters, reader & gojo, and will only add side stories as necessary. this really hurts me knowing that i can't achieve the level of comprehensive writing and world building that i did for sincerely not, but i really want to finish sy as soon as possible and removing a chunk of side stories would be some of the things that'd help me achieve that 😭 i hope you guys understand. hopefully i'll figure out a way to write those side stories instead of completely abandoning them mid-way in this series. but as always, thanks for ur continued support <3
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series masterlist -> episode eleven
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“It’s a little weird.”
What was supposed to be her bed time had turned into a moment of reflection for Sera who, instead of being fast asleep at this time of the night, had unconsciously brought herself inside Sukuna’s home office to join the up-and-coming tech mogul in his late-night programming. 
She wore her silk pajamas, pacing back and forth in her boyfriend’s office as her mind flew back to the recent encounter she had with her ex-boyfriend. Who knew that Satoru’s kid would look just like a carbon copy of him? No, actually, the question should be: who knew it would be a different woman by his side acting as the mother of his child? Sera had to laugh at herself, shaking her head as she realized how truly and undeniably ridiculous her ex was. It was clear that day that he wasn’t really as loyal of a partner as he claimed himself to be. 
Did he really just go through all those crazy things with you, only to look like a whore-hopping fool now? 
If he was bound to end up with someone else other than you, then why did he have to make Sera’s life miserable in the first place? 
She may have done terrible things before as a selfish and materialistic lover of his, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Satoru also contributed to her role as the side-piece in his marital relationship. He allowed her to cling to him like a mistress. Being his side-piece wasn’t even something that she had forced upon him. It was his promise, an idea that he planted on Sera’s head, saying that she would need to stay by his side and that he would marry her guaranteed that he had already secured the merger and divorced you. He swore like a fool that he would divorce you. But guess what? The jerk ended up falling in love with his wife and suddenly had no use of Sera. Suddenly, he was such a good husband who couldn’t be more loyal. Suddenly, he was a lovestruck man who had always been in love with his childhood friend. If he had downright dumped Sera the moment his engagement was announced, if he had not been prideful and ambitious since the beginning of his marriage, he probably would have had better luck at having that healthy relationship he yearned from you. 
But how come the blame of being the third-party was all on Sera when her only mistake then was loving the person who promised her all the good things in life? 
Now, you see, this was all just bitterness brewing at the back of her head. She knew what she did was still wrong and that she wasn’t innocent. Sera swore to herself that she would never look back on those awful days ever again, but seeing how Satoru was running around freely with a different woman just reminded Sera of his days as a spiteful, two-timing man. Somehow, it felt like he had changed and yet didn’t at all. 
Ha ha ha. How ridiculous was that? 
“What’s funny?” asked Sukuna, her present boyfriend and thankfully so. He was Sera’s blessing, because she never would have thought that a man like him could still exist in a world full of Satoru’s and Naoya’s. “You look cute smiling to yourself, though.”
“I know,” she responded to the compliment, shifting to settle herself on his lap, though his attention remained fixed on his laptop screen. “It's just strange to me,” she continued, her voice thoughtful, “how Gojou appears his usual self, yet there's something off about him.”
The question clouded Sukuna’s eyes in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to comprehend her description. “You mean dude got uglier?”
I wish, Sera thought. “No, he’s… he’s different. The vibes are different. For a second, he even looked like he was dissociating the whole time he was with that girl,” she said, referring to Satoru’s new girl as though she was your cheap alternative, “But then again, why is he with her in the first place if he looks absent-minded the whole time, you know what I mean?” 
“Was he like that with you before?” 
“At times, but it’s not like the way he’s acting right now… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. The energy is off. That’s just not how he acts when he’s really, really into someone.”
To be honest, Sukuna didn’t give a damn about Satoru Gojou’s life and any normal boyfriend wouldn’t really like hearing their girlfriend talking about another man, especially her ex at that, but he knew Sera found joy in old money gossip and he was aware of the demoralizing past she has had by associating herself with them. Sukuna was acting all engaged in their conversation because he wanted to make her feel heard and that he shared her simple joys in life. Besides, it was through her that he learned so many inside scoops about the people that ran the country’s biggest conglomerates. It was like watching one heck of a messy episode of Dynasty. 
“Didn’t he get into a car accident?” he recalled, remembering the headlines on the news that day, “Then, we saw him at the expo and he couldn’t really remember you. The guy’s probably got his head all messed up.” 
Sera was bitter at the time thinking that Satoru was toying with her when he asked who she was, when the truth was, he was actually diagnosed with amnesia. It was such a shock to her, truthfully, because having amnesia felt like something you would only see on a movie’s screen. Well, in that case, she could also say karma’s a bitch. The director might be onto something here.
“He’s probably not mentally fine, but still…” she thought carefully and played the scene in her head again. What was it about the Gojou that she saw the other day that was different? “He just has a different vibe to him that it feels uncomfortable. It’s like he’s rude, but not so rude? He doesn’t have much of a personality anymore. Like a complete stranger.”
“Maybe it’s the new girl rubbing off on him.” Sukuna was back to typing on his laptop as he said that. Frankly, he was just saying anything at this point. 
Sera shook her head in response. “Well, I don’t know about that girl he’s seeing and I don’t really care, but it’s common knowledge to the filthy rich that she’s Y/N’s best friend. That’s why I recognized her right away, and that’s why it disgusted me,” she pressed on, “Tell me, would you—and be honest about this—would you fuck your best friend’s ex?” 
The humor on her boyfriend’s face came right as she asked that. “Babe, you fucked a married man. It’s worse than fucking somebody’s ex.” 
“Shut up.” Rolling her eyes, she got up from his lap and sighed, but Sukuna wasted no time in pulling her back onto his lap. His chuckle was mingling with the gentle kiss he had planted on her cheek, unaware that his actions made Sera’s heart flutter. “Forget it. I shouldn’t even be talking about Satoru with you.”
The man stretched his arms and finally closed his laptop, patting Sera’s thigh afterwards. “On that note, I do have another ‘dude from your past’ that I gotta meet tomorrow.” 
Her reaction alone was a response for him. “Naoya?” she protested, face contorting with disgust. “What for? I told you not to take on that project.”
“Yeah, I considered it, and you know, the partnership could really benefit CleaveTech,” Sukuna reasoned, leaning back as he outlined the situation to her from a business standpoint. Given her own background working for the Gojou Group before, he expected her to grasp the significance of this partnership and set aside any personal grievances or emotional attachments. “The Zen'in Group is a major client. It’s all pros and no cons here.”
“The contra is the guy you’re gonna work with,” she highlighted with a hint of annoyance rising from her throat, “Naoya is nothing but an opportunistic motherfucker. Mind you, he’s a stupid elitist, too.” 
He held back a laugh, not even threatened by a man who had a terrible history with his girlfriend. “Nah, I’ll deal with him. Just trust me on this.” 
As much as Sera wanted to object, she knew Sukuna had a point and that she really shouldn’t hinder his company from being partnered with such a large conglomerate. She just didn’t like the thought of her boyfriend being around a man who manipulated and humiliated her to the point where she had been blacklisted by multiple companies, leaving her to resort to being somewhat of a prostitute just to make ends meet. 
The world was harsh for the not-so-rich, and all Sera wanted was to give those upper class people a taste of their own medicine. But seeing as her desire for revenge would clash with her boyfriend’s chance at company growth, she had to set aside her personal grudge and support him on this one.  
Still, there was nothing wrong with being curious. “Is there any other reason you agreed to this partnership?”
Sukuna smirked as if he expected that question from her. “Blame it on my little brother, he’s been bugging me ‘bout it.”
“Yuuji?” Sera asked, clearly confused. 
To which her boyfriend quickly answered, “Yeah. He said it’ll give him an opportunity to work with his best friend. You know that kid, Fushiguro, right?” 
Ahh. Toji’s kid aka the heir to the Zen’in business empire. Sera had met Megumi before, and while that other brat Mai used to be unreasonably rude to her, the younger boy was always civil and respectful at least. He never even once treated Sera like dirt when she was spending time with Naoya at their mansion. Perhaps their upbringing really differed because he was raised by Toji and the other Zen’ins were raised by demons. 
Nevertheless, with a connection now established between Sukuna and Naoya through Yuuji and Megumi, Sera couldn’t help but feel that her peaceful days as a nouveau riche were about to become far more intriguing. Depending on the cards she would choose to play, they could even turn into a living nightmare. 
— —
You weren’t exactly abandoning your company; you were merely taking a break, a necessary pause given your current mental state after the whole break-up with Toji and the Osaka thing. Your mind was just too overwhelmingly occupied to even properly function. Each day, mustering the energy to show up at Hearte's head office became increasingly challenging, especially when faced with individuals who relied on you for major decisions and creative direction. 
To make matters worse, Akemi’s sudden resignation hit hard.
You received her decision by a simple letter, a mere piece of paper, without even having the guts and decency to meet with you in person. Was she scared? Or was this her way of rubbing salt on the wound, shoving it in your face that she was now taking things to the next level with your ex-husband? 
She did cite in her resignation letter that her reason for resigning from the role was due to conflict of interest. You wanted to laugh when you read that part. No, you wanted to choke in your fit of laughter after reading through her asinine reasons. She could have been upfront and mentioned that the so-called ‘conflict’ was the very man her best friend had previously married. 
Obviously, everyone in the office felt sad knowing that a core member of the company left without at least a 30-day notice, but they were all also aware that her resignation was due to personal albeit controversial reasons. Did Akemi not care about her image at all? The same colleagues she had trained, managed, and collaborated with would now likely gossip about her behind her back. She would become a hot topic of disrespect among the people that once heavily respected her. Did she also not care about the company you two created together anymore? This was the same company you two had passionately dreamed of during your late-night conversations on a New York rooftop. She was the one who wanted to build a fashion house together with you.
Yet, it seemed she was willing to throw it all away for a man already entangled in complicated familial dynamics. Her immediate resignation and refusal to speak to you in person just further confirmed it to you that Akemi was willing to forsake your friendship by choosing a man who already had a child with someone else. 
Since she chose that path, you couldn’t help but interpret Akemi’s actions as a deliberate slight against your friendship. It seemed clear that she no longer viewed you as a friend and was essentially cutting ties with you. Otherwise, why would she take such a step? Akemi wasn’t the type to be vindictive; she likely believed she was sparing you further pain by severing your connection. However, regardless of her intentions, her actions felt deeply disrespectful and hurtful.
If this was what she wanted, then kudos to her and her unbelievable confidence to choose a man like Satoru Gojou. Besides, it didn’t even take you a week to find another replacement. Your family connections were powerful after all. You readily had a pool of potential candidates for the role of the Head of Sales, Retail, and Merchandising—all from prestigious backgrounds and unparalleled expertise. While the competition was tough, you selected the person you deemed was the most qualified to be your second-in-command. This was someone you had esteemed since college, a person who excelled in both business acumen and creative vision.
Yuki Tsukumo. She was influential in every sense, and you trusted that she would be able to manage the high pressure environment of a start-up fashion house and transform it into an iconic brand, a household name that would one day rival Chanel and Miu Miu. 
You may have succeeded in replacing Akemi. You may have shown her that her position in the workforce was easily replaceable, but her role as your friend still left a lingering, repugnant mark that proved far more difficult to erase. This underlying sentiment could explain the unreasonable anger festering in your heart—a visceral reaction born from feelings of backstabbing betrayal. 
It was hard enough for you to travel all the way to Osaka with a broken heart, but it became much more agonizing to watch your own son run up to Akemi like she was his mother. It was a goddamn slap to your face, indeed, to see that your ex-husband had already chosen a woman to have his happy, little family with. That he wanted to be a good man and be everything you wished for in a husband for her. 
As they say, nothing hurts more than building a man for another woman. 
And honestly? You cried so much on the way home that you became numb. Now, you were just trying to get over it. You were trying to bury the searing pain in order to forget the betrayal you felt. It was all too much for a person to handle and it wasn’t like you hadn’t gone through the same old shit before. Wasn’t it worse before with Satoru actually cheating and all? He technically wasn’t crossing any lines here, so it shouldn’t hurt you. It shouldn’t. You had been here before. If you had managed to get through such an awful time as his previous wife, his relationship with Akemi shouldn’t be too hard to accept. No, you weren’t trying to lowball your pain, but it was better to be an optimist in this situation than be a suicidal, self-destructive person. You had a business to run and a child to raise. You had to be strong. 
Or at least, that was what you told yourself. That was what you had been telling yourself over and over, each time you got up from bed forcing yourself to have a false positive mindset. In fact, that was also why you had to take this extended break because you had to have your peace of mind. You had to have some form of release to remember why you needed to stay alive and keep yourself going.
Not just for Sachiro’s sake, but also for your own. 
Your safe haven for now was at the horse ranch, where the tranquility of riding and the beauty of nature provided the perfect ambiance for reflection. How long has it been since your last visit to Willow? Your father had been joking that you shouldn’t be leaving a beautiful, white Friesian horse unattended for years, especially not for the expensive price he paid her for. True enough, because the moment you saw the mare again, you almost forgot how majestic she was for her breed. Willow was a completely docile and graceful horse, so alike to you in many ways. However, one thing that was unlike you, was that she lived in peace, existing solely for herself and not for anyone else.
If only you could be like her. 
As you reached out to stroke your rare-breed horse, a new and unfamiliar stallion in the stable caught your eye. To think of it, your family shared this equestrian estate with the Gojou family. This realization meant that the strikingly elegant and tall gray horse in the adjacent stall belonged to none other than Satoru.
“It’s a Thoroughbred,” the equine caretaker informed while guiding your horse out of the stable, “Mr. Satoru got him recently and named him Six.” 
A gray Thoroughbred, renowned as the most expensive horse breeds out there. It could fetch a price as high as $70 million, and of course, Satoru was the perfect owner for such a prestigious horse. The stallion embodied his essence completely—its color, its build, its rarity. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but find his naming convention by number a bit odd. His previous black stallion was named Eight. This time around, it was Six. Couldn’t he be more imaginative?
“He’s beautiful,” you mumbled, nonetheless, in awe with the regality of the horse. 
“He’s a good boy, too,” added the enthusiastic horsekeeper in a thick country accent, “Mr. Satoru was here yesterday and played polo while riding him. They were perfectly in sync even if it was his first time riding him.”
Of course, he would play polo. That was one of his favorite recreational sports. The burning question at hand was, who was with him during his visit? Because if the caretaker mentioned Akemi, you would certainly lose it. This was your private space with him. This estate was a place that none of his other women had access to, not even Sera. This was a location filled with memories from your childhood. For him to bring another woman here would be crossing the damn line. 
“Did he bring anyone with him?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you dusted off your boots. 
The caretaker denied. “No, he was alone. He just came to play polo and check the horses he recently bought.” 
Oh… “He bought more than one?” 
Did he seriously get Akemi her own horse? Your heart was racing at the thought, but the caretaker led you to the stable near the exit to show you the other horse than your ex-husband had purchased. It was a brown Shetland pony. 
“He got a fully trained Shetland for your son,” the horsekeeper proudly declared, showcasing the pony as if he had been instructed to do so in anticipation of your visit. It was obvious that Gojou had already briefed him on introducing Sachiro’s new pony to you because he knew you would be asking about it. “His name is Elmo. He is kid-safe and very friendly.”
Frankly, you wanted to sigh in relief, but at the same time, it warmed your heart to know that Satoru got his son his own horse at such a young age. You could already sense him planning to make Sachiro take equestrian classes when he gets older, and probably join him on his horseback riding sessions, too. You could imagine just how perfect it would be to see the father and son bonding here, racing together, playing polo together… yet it would not be you who would be watching them on the side.  
This future he was setting up with his son would be an experience he would share with Akemi. 
There was no you in that vision anymore. 
The caretaker likely questioned your sanity when he noticed the bitter smile on your face as you mounted your mare. He might have even doubted whether you were sane enough to ride alone, without a guide, particularly through the woods since Willow had not been ridden for some time now. However, you had done it countless times before and were quite familiar with the trail, and so you dismissed his offer to lead you and assured him confidently that you knew your way back.
You needed this solitude. You craved this moment of peace, alone with your thoughts and surrounded by nature, to reflect on the ceaseless torture of your life. It was just never-ending, squeezing every drop of happiness out of your system to make sure that you would only live to suffer. You really thought you had your happy ending with someone else? You actually believed you had found the perfect man to be your actual husband? 
Well, unfortunately for you, Toji was not the one. 
At first, your mind flew to Toji as you went on to the trail, allowing the mare to continue trotting as you held the reins to control her. You remembered Toji’s text that morning, asking you for the hundredth time if he could meet with you. He likely wanted to apologize in person, but you doubted he would change his mind and take back the things he said. Because they were true. He could never fill the void left by his deceased wife by being with another empty soul. It was painfully, unmistakably true. You were better off dead if that was the case, because even if you did end up marrying him, you would never be regarded as the person he loved the most. After all, your role in this world seemed to always be the second option. You were never the first in other people’s books. Not with your ex-husband. Not even with your family, especially with Gen around. You were meant to be a bystander, watching others live their perfect lives while you were forced to be in your misery. Someone like Toji would not have a guaranteed blissful marriage with you and you had to spare him from that. You had to draw the line and step back from this charade that you were playing with him, knowing that you were never the right person to be with him, so at some point, you had to accept his drunken words. They came from a place of truth, and that truth would set the both of you free. 
Even it hurt. Even if it fucking hurt to hear his words. You couldn’t deny them. 
You could easily forgive him, but his words might take a while for you to forget because even thinking about it now was bringing a wave of pain into your chest. You didn’t even notice that you were losing control on Willow’s reins by the time you entered further into the woods, bouncing on the saddle as you galloped along the challenging path. With the speed you were riding right now, inexperienced riders would certainly find it unsafe and scary. But for you? It was just what you needed. The breeze of fresh air, the thrill of riding alone, the peaceful sound of nature—you could die there and be at your happiest. 
Maybe that was where you had to be; to disappear and leave them all behind. Wouldn’t that be best for everyone? If you were to vanish, they could finally be free. Your presence, even from the beginning, was a burden for everyone—for your dad, Gen, Satoru, Toji, and even Akemi. The people you trusted the most would be the same people who would secretly celebrate your demise. So, what else was hindering you from taking matters into your own hands and ending it all yourself?
“Giddy up!” 
Was it Sachiro? Definitely. But now he had his father, and he was likely starting to see Akemi as a mother figure as well. Your role as his beloved mama could be easily replaced if you were to leave him now. It wouldn’t hurt him as much that way. Three years with Sachiro seemed sufficient enough, and he was at an age where he could grow up alongside his father. In this short span, he would have lasting memories with you, yet not enough to deeply grieve your absence. He was a young child, surrounded by people who would offer the whole world to him. At least, for that, you were eternally grateful. It brought you comfort knowing that your son would have support after you were gone, and that he would find a mother figure in Akemi. Given the brief time he spent with you and the rest of his life with her as his stepmother, Sachiro would likely come to love and accept Akemi as his own mother. This was the best outcome you could hope for.
My child, my son, my baby… please don’t get mad at mommy. 
Tears were gushing out of your eyes and you hadn’t even realized it until they started blurring your vision. You were far too lost in your own thoughts, unaware that you were now in an unfamiliar and seemingly dangerous part of the trail. The path was getting a little bit too steep and poor Willow was clearly stressed at your inconsiderate handling. There were multiple obstacles on your rocky terrain and you weren’t as steady and controlled as you wanted to be because the horse wasn’t comfortable navigating such a difficult path with the pace you were forcing her to.  
“Ah!” 
Your attempt to balance was interrupted by Willow’s loud neigh, signaling her distress before she bolted into a full rampage. She was sprinting at an estimated speed of 20 miles per hour. Not even a skilled rider like Satoru himself would be cantering that fast on unfamiliar terrain and an unfit horse. But you, you clearly had a death wish, because instead of fearing for your own life, you were far more concerned at the thought of how dreamy Satoru and Akemi’s wedding would look like after your demise. They would definitely make Sachiro their ringbearer. Suguru would be the best man. Shoko, the maid of honor. People on the internet would praise them for being an attractive couple. They would anticipate their beautiful kids together, living in the same mansion he bought as a gift to you. He would kiss her good night, tell her loves her, and offer the whole world to her. They would exchange vows and promise themselves a lifelong commitment to be by each other’s side through sickness and in health, and only in death would they part. 
“Willow!” 
You let out a shriek as the reins slipped from your grasp, causing you to tumble off the saddle and crash onto the ground. The impact was first felt in your elbow, and a sharp, searing pain then radiated through your body. There you lay, sprawled on the dirt, helplessly watching Willow galloping out of control up the mountain, and then tragically plummeting off a cliff.
“Nooo! Willow, no!”
Utter hysteria overtook you. You sobbed uncontrollably, unable to determine which pain was more agonizing—the clearly broken elbow, the loss of the horse you had inadvertently led to its death, or the heart-wrenching reality of Satoru starting a family with someone else.
You were pathetic. You were such a pathetic excuse of a human being and this was why you deserve hell. 
“Willow!” 
Toji couldn’t love you. Your own son didn’t want to be around you. Satoru had gotten over you. And now, you drove a poor innocent horse to its demise because of your recklessness! 
You were crying hysterically as you held your pained elbow, crawling by the cliff’s edge as you screamed for your horse’s name, but in the end, there was nothing you could do. You could only apologize to poor Willow for having such an irresponsible owner, and now she was dead because of you. 16 years of her life, she was able to live in peace until you came and ruined it all for her. It should have been you. You were the one who should have jumped off a cliff. You should atone for your sins and follow her, but you were too weak, far to overcome by the excruciating pain on your hip and your broken elbow to move or do anything at all. 
That was, until your mind had completely shut down, leaving you as a mere body to be discarded alone in the darkness of the woods. You hoped that no one else would find you soon. 
— —
“A-Angina?” Satoru’s eyes went wide. His whole world stopped before him.
“Yes. She was diagnosed with stable angina,” Dr. Mori confirmed, much to your husband’s horror. “But there is another factor that requires her to have more rest. You need to take good care of your wife, Mr. Gojou. Her body needs a lot of nutrients so she can carry safely.”
He could barely process the whole thing in his head because the news kept coming one after another, leaving him in a befuddled state with a flood of unanswered questions running through his mind. “What do you mean…?”
“Your wife is seven weeks pregnant.”
“Y/N?”
“Y/N!”
“Are you out of your mind?!” 
You could barely pry your eyes open, but when you finally managed to, you were met with the concerned expression on Gen’s face. The harsh glare of fluorescent lights and the antiseptic scent confirmed to you that you were in the ER, likely an hour or two after the incident in the woods. The memory of the trail quickly flooded your thoughts, and a pang of sorrow gripped your heart as you recalled Willow's final moments before she fell off the cliff. The poor horse had lost her life, while the one responsible for her tragic death remained alive, save for the bandage wrapped around your arm.
“Why did you ride into the woods alone?” Gen persisted with her barrage of questions, standing by your bed as you attempted to sit up. “Are you suicidal or what? Riding your horse in a dangerous trail like that—”
“You know what, maybe I should have just died back there!” you snapped, wincing from the pain in your elbow. Her choice of words struck a nerve in you. “Maybe I’d prefer that over sitting here, listening to your sanctimonious lecture like you're so perfect yourself! How obnoxious.”
“Then, maybe you shouldn’t be riding so recklessly and causing alarm to everyone else!” 
“Did I literally ask you to come save me?!” 
The atmosphere around you two just became even more uninviting, with discomfiting silence seeping through as you and Gen were engaged in a sharp glaring contest. Your father stood behind her, clearing his throat to cut the tension. 
“That’s enough, Gen.” Your dad placed a hand on her shoulder, and although she wanted to protest, she knew better not to keep stirring the pot after receiving his strict gaze. “Let’s just be thankful your sister is safe. There’s no need to be so overwhelming.” 
You rolled your eyes, drawing in a deep breath before you looked away from them. None of them would ever understand your pain unless they were in your position. They didn’t carry the same baggage as you, so they would never fully comprehend the weight of your suffering. You had already dealt with similar pain on your own before and that was why you didn’t need any of them to come to your aid, meddling with your life like they knew exactly what you were going through. “Just leave me alone, you guys. I wanna rest.”
Since when did your relationship with your sister start to get rough? It wasn’t really like this before, but ever since she started to become too overprotective over you and your choices in life, particularly choices linked to Satoru, Gen had started to become insufferable in your eyes. She was acting too much like a mother; controlling your decisions, lecturing you about your personal relationships, being too involved with your private life. There, ever since that, you started to distance yourself from her, and she didn’t like that. Her stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to cease acting like this mature, picture perfect big sister to you. 
With that said, Gen would have normally gotten annoyed when you asked them to leave you alone, but this time around, she seemed to have reflected on her insensitivity a lot better with your father around. “I’m sorry, okay?” she said, her tone still tinged with stubbornness, “I just got worried. I don’t know what’s gotten into you to put yourself in danger like that, but… please, Y/N. If you’re going through something, you can always speak to us. Dad and I, we’re here for you.” 
To be fair, if you had to put yourself in their shoes, it really would have been alarming to know that your sister almost died. This wasn’t the first time you were at death’s door either, so they were probably scared shitless when they were informed of your situation. Your absolutely reckless situation. You didn’t mean to cause a scene, neither did you intend to bother them on their already busy schedules. You just had so many things in your mind while you were horseback riding, too engulfed by your own sorrow that you didn’t realize the repercussions after the incident had already taken place. 
“I’m sorry, too.” Your voice softened with humility. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys. It was just really an accident.” 
Of course, Gen suspected it was more than just an accident. Your dad did, too. It was obvious on their forlorn faces that they were worried for your mental and emotional well-being, but none of them dared address the elephant in the room. It seemed they didn’t need to, anyway, since one of the many reasons that contributed to your earlier breakdown took a peek from behind the curtains, clearing his throat and sending you a look of sympathy. 
“Y/N?” Toji looked at your father and your sister for approval before stepping further inside your space in the ER. “Can I talk to you?” 
There was no escaping Toji’s presence anymore. No more hiding, no more avoiding. You knew you had to have this talk with him no matter how many times you ignored his flood of texts and calls. While this may have struck as an opportune moment for him to speak to you in person, facing the painful truth of your situation weighed heavily on you. Besides, hadn’t the irony presented itself right there? If Satoru were the one trying to speak to you, even if he was the father of your child, Gen would have been quick to lash out at him. Yet with Toji, even with the general knowledge of what had transpired between you two, your sister still showed no hostility towards him, allowing him to approach you freely and without interference.
But then again, Toji was far from being a cheating, manipulative scumbag who not only caused you suffering but also sought to selfishly acquire your family’s company. Therefore, he wasn’t considered a threat. 
Alright, then. Since Toji genuinely wasn’t a threat to your current emotional state, you agreed to talk with him. It was the first time you had seen the not-so-confident side of Toji Zen’in. He was typically a man of virtue, often holding his chin high, offering the best advice, and having insightful perspectives on life. However, it seemed you had shattered that confidence in him. You could sense his cautiousness around you as he stood by your side in the ER, assisting you with your needs, and eventually agreeing to your request to walk you to the rooftop garden.
“I don’t really think there’s anything else we should talk about.” It was you who first broke the silence, staring at the cityscape while sitting on a wheelchair. The calm breeze allowed your mind to seize the moment with a peaceful mind. “I already heard what you had to say.” 
Toji found it better to kneel down in front of you to meet your eyes as he spoke to you in a sincere and earnest voice. “Y/N, I was drunk when I said all that shit back there. I didn’t mean them. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my callous words, and I feel awful that you had to hear them from me. You trusted me. You sought comfort from me. I wasn’t thinking like a normal person when those things came out of my mouth.” 
“That doesn’t mean they weren’t true,” you replied with quiet resignation. It was the acceptance in your face that seemed to have caused Toji’s heartbroken gaze. “It’s okay, Toji. I think, when you said all those things, it actually made me realize some aspects of our relationship that had to be addressed. It made me more self-aware and it opened my eyes on the bigger picture.” You touched his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as you mustered the courage to speak your next words. “It’s for the best that we part ways. It’s not fair to me to become a placeholder for your wife the same way it isn’t fair to you to have to deal with my ex-husband always being present in my life. Our unresolved feelings won’t really be resolved by being together.”
“Y/N…” Toji’s voice hinted at his vulnerable emotions, though he restrained himself from showing it fully. And you didn’t miss the apologetic look he had presented to you. “Despite all that, I hope you know that I’d been true to you. I do love you and will always love you. I’ll always be someone you can rely on, someone you can seek comfort from, someone you can turn to when you need help…” 
Damn it. Why did he have to make it sound like an actual break up? Now, it tugged at your heartstrings and hit you in a place it shouldn’t have. You weren’t good at these things and it certainly was your first time dealing with such a mature and mutual separation, but wasn’t that a good thing? No further drama was to happen, leaving a stark comparison to your separation with Satoru. While this one didn’t hurt as much, it still brought a hollow feeling in your chest. 
“Same for me,” you agreed, displaying a weak smile. “You’ll always have a spot in my heart, Toji. I’ll always be grateful that I met you.” 
Sometimes, two people didn’t need to be together to love each other. Friendships could still thrive between ex-lovers, and that was why closure was so important. It not only closed a certain chapter of your life in a healthy way, but also allowed you to heal and open yourselves to a new beginning without any bitterness left behind. 
It shouldn’t be considered bad to remain friends with an ex. It also shouldn’t be bad to give a parting kiss from said ex, right? 
You weren’t the one who initiated it, after all. It was Toji’s hand that gently stroked your cheek. It was him, who leaned forward and pressed his lips onto yours. It wasn’t forceful, but neither was it passionate. It was simply a tender kiss of goodbye, feeling the warmth of each other’s lips for one last time before you two would transition from being lovers to friends. What you didn’t understand from this supposedly bittersweet moment was the faint tears that somehow managed to escape your eyes, perhaps because you knew that once Toji left, you would be alone again. 
You had no one by your side to love you, cherish you, choose you, and offer their entire world for you. You were meant to live this cruel world all by yourself. 
As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Please learn to love yourself before anyone else, Y/N. It’s what you need and what you deserve.” 
That night, while you were getting your MRI, your mind kept flying to the possibilities of a future without having anyone by your side. Any normal person would tell you to focus on loving yourself first, as Toji did recently, focusing on what matters most, and ridding yourself of the toxic things that hinder you from moving forward with your life. Things weren’t as easy as they sounded. Besides, it was different being on the receiving end of the said advice. How could you do those things when the primary cause of your pain was someone whose life would always be linked to yours forever? 
Based on the result of your MRI scans, your doctor recommended that you undergo elbow arthroscopy. It was just a minimally invasive procedure compared to open surgeries, but considering how much of an overthinker your dad was when it came to your health, he insisted on your confinement at the hospital until you had been completely cleared of any other issues. He really placed a big deal on your condition and emphasized to the doctors that they make sure nothing was missed. It could have been worse; you could have had a broken hip or a fractured leg, but at least you only had a dislocated elbow. Nothing that couldn’t be easily corrected by surgery and physical therapy. 
The decision was for you to stay there for two days, and on your first night, a crying Sachiro ran inside your private room because his ‘mama has a boo boo’. Gen said he was picked up from daycare and dropped off at the hospital because the poor kid was looking for you. She didn’t mention who dropped your son off to you, but you could tell it was Satoru. You could sense it by the glances she exchanged with Ian after you asked how Sachiro came to the hospital. 
So, in that case, Satoru must have found out about your little incident and didn’t care enough to see you. Did he not even have an ounce of care anymore? Or was it Gen who stopped him from seeing you? 
“Did you ask him to leave?” you confronted Gen in a mellow voice, rubbing Sachiro’s back as he snuggled into you on the hospital bed. 
Your sister knew exactly which man you were referring to, and she denied having done such. “No, I didn’t even talk to him. He took Sachi here and left.” 
You didn’t know why you looked at Ian to confirm the truth of his wife’s words, but hurt yourself upon seeing his bowed head. It was an apologetic expression that did signify your ex-husband’s blatant act of ignoring you. To hear about your near-death experience and simply leave without even checking on you should be your wake-up call. He didn’t care anymore. No, why should he care? He had Akemi. His only responsibility with you was to be a supportive father to your son. 
Why did the pain in your heart feel far more agonizing than the discomfort on your dislocated elbow?
If anything, you wanted to ask for the strongest anesthetic they could offer to numb your pain. You were desperate to have anything even if they had to put you into an eternal sleep. That would have been much easier to deal with than feeling disregarded by a person you supposedly had moved on from. Satoru did nothing wrong here. It was you who had that expectation, only to disappoint yourself when things didn’t happen as you imagined. 
And just when you thought things would get better as long as you ignore your torturous thoughts, it didn’t help that being in the hospital kept giving you flashbacks of the time you were in this exact room, hearing Satoru crying helplessly from outside and begging for you not to terminate his child. What comes around certainly goes back around. Or worse. 
Such depressive thoughts had you occupied throughout your stay there, and your unusual placidness alarmed the nurses instead of being assured that you were doing well. You heard your doctors telling your father and sister to always keep a close eye on you as the incident may not seem serious, but the trauma would undoubtedly be present somewhere and somehow. Were they aware? Of your intrusive thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself? 
The elbow arthroscopy was successful and by the second day, you were free to go home. You were placed on certain medications to help with the swelling and the pain, and while you were walking around the hospital with a listless mind, you happened to pass by the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. What a deja vu it was, remembering the time you had seen Satoru there waiting outside for Sera. Back then, it was one of the climactic events in your life that led to a domino effect on the downfall of your marriage. Not that you were reminiscing, but it did remind you that Shoko was probably there in her consultation room and it would be nice to talk to a friend who had witnessed the wild history of your marriage. 
You asked Gen to wait for you in the car while you headed to Ieiri’s consultation room, assuring your visibly worried sister that everything was fine and that you wouldn’t take too long. You had to give Gen some slack, because despite the strains in your relationship as sisters, she was still always there for you. At the end of the day, she was family. 
Shoko, on the other hand, was the next closest thing you had for a sister. She welcomed you inside her room in a very worried embrace, telling you that if she had known about the incident, she would have gone straight to your hospital room on your first day, but you told her not to worry about it and understood that being in the medical field already had her schedule tight. 
“Well, I guess it’s perfect that you’re here, too.” Shoko smiled warmly, sitting behind her desk. She had exciting news to offer, it seemed. “I just wanna say that… of course, I’ll still be sending you a formal invitation and everything. I actually have a few gifts along with it.” 
You shared her enthusiasm. “Hmm… is it what I think it is?” 
The wedding. The most eventful day of her life would be arriving soon and you were the first one to hear it. 
“Yes!” she answered, with the utmost joy coruscating from her eyes. “I want you to be my maid-of-honor, Y/N. I’d be extremely happy if you could make it. I know you just got into an accident, but it won’t be until two months, so—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” You eased her worries by chuckling. “I’m completely fine, of course I’ll be there. I can’t miss it.” 
Shoko was grateful to hear your answer, relieved even, because by asking you to be her maid-of-honor, you should already understand who Suguru’s best man would be. That was a touchy subject for you and she was keenly aware of it, but you didn’t want her to worry. You didn’t want your relationship with your ex-husband to have a negative impact on the relationship of all the other people surrounding the both of you. It was already bad enough that Shoko and Suguru almost called off their engagement after they fought over their morals as you and Satoru’s friends, and you were glad that they somehow made things work. They somehow set aside their disagreements and ultimately chose their love over anything else. 
Their love was beautiful, and while that wasn’t something you could easily have, it was something you deeply admired. 
“Where are you guys planning to hold your wedding?” you asked, steering the conversation away from any mention of your ex-husband. “Here or overseas?” 
She delighted you with her answer, sounding as if this was the perfect wedding she had always dreamed of. “It’s an intimate wedding on the lakeside. Suguru chose the location, actually, since he wanted our wedding to have the view of Mount Fuji.” 
“That’s perfect,” you said with wide eyes. “Lake Kawaguchiko?” 
“Yep. That’s exactly where it’d be.” She smiled with her eyes. “You know this resort… Hoshinoya Fuji? We already booked the place, and we have a luxury cabin for friends and families to stay at.” 
You had been there before, but you were too young to remember. All you knew was that it was a high-end resort that had the best panoramic views of Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji. The hotel owner was also a close friend of the Gojou family, so that was probably why they were able to rent the entire place for the wedding, especially at a peak season for tourists. 
Since the fall season was arriving, you could only imagine the stunning views of the autumn foliage there. It offered the perfect weather, too. It wouldn’t be as hot as summer, nor as freezing as winter. Surely, it would be nice to do some nature walks and stargazing, maybe ride a boat or bathe in a hot spring. You looked forward to it, except for the fact that your ex-husband would also be there. 
And just what a perfect timing it was, because as Shoko sorted through her patients' medical records above her desk, a file slipped from the pile, revealing the name of your very friend, Akemi. 
“Oh,” Shoko murmured apologetically as she retrieved the record, not wanting to ruin the mood of your conversation. “She, uh, came by a few days ago... with Gojou.”
You didn’t need to ask. You didn’t need to hear any further detail. Akemi’s visit likely revolved around her desire to conceive, as she wouldn’t have visited Shoko otherwise. Why? If it were simply to monitor her polycystic ovary, why did she choose Shoko instead of her own gynecologist? Thinking of how your ex-husband and best friend were attempting to start a family together left your heart shattered in unimaginable pieces, stirring up painful memories of your pathetic marriage with Satoru and reopening old wounds you thought had already healed from. Wasn’t it ironic that a couple of years ago, you were crying over the same situation with Sera? 
You couldn’t stand this feeling anymore. You thought you had already freed yourself from the pain of loving him, yet here you were suffering from the same heartbreak over and over and over again. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, the ache in your chest too raw to confront just yet. 
“It’s funny.” Although you displayed an outward smile, the sadness in your voice reflected your otherwise inward thoughts. You didn’t know why you said that. You were just too… too emotional. Almost like you couldn’t breathe. “He was never this passionate with me. They seem so in love.” 
Ieiri’s eyes carried sisterly concern in them. “Y/N, it’s not really what you think.” 
Was it? You weren’t sure what to feel anymore. You certainly weren't there to hear it anymore, either. Satoru chose her, just like what you wanted for him to do. Just like what you asked him to do. He had moved on, he had found someone who would love him for who he was, he had chosen the woman he would share the rest of his future with. Call yourself ridiculous for even feeling hurt about it, because you had no right to be and you definitely chose this. Either you own up to it, or you cry about it for the rest of your life. 
Both choices had no happy endings. 
— —
When Satoru learned about your incident in the woods, he thought he was going to lose his mind. 
Was it out of love that he swiftly left the office in the middle of a meeting just to get to where you were? 
He still had to pick up Sachiro from daycare, and he felt bad telling his son on the way to the hospital that his mother was hurt. It actually gave Satoru a hard time explaining to the 3-year old that they had to go to the hospital because his mommy was there and that she had an unfortunate encounter while riding a horse. 
“Dada, is… is mama okay?” Sachiro pouted with wide, tearful eyes as he clung to his father’s hand. “Sachi wants to go to mama!” 
“She’ll be okay, Sachi.” Gojou carried his son and soothed him as they went inside the hospital, searching for you. “Mommy’s strong, remember?” 
Was it out of love that he wanted to be the person that brought your son to you when you most needed him? 
According to the nurse, your room was on the seventh floor, but when he got there, your room was empty. It was Ian who told him that you went up the rooftop garden to get some fresh air, insisting that if Satoru wanted to go and talk to you, that it was best to leave Sachiro with them. 
And so he did. He ran hastily, almost out of breath, until he reached the rooftop, scanning every face within the vicinity until his tired blue eyes finally landed on you. 
Satoru laughed in disbelief. He scoffed bitterly, with each breath full of disgust. The tips of his fingers felt cold, while his breathing grew thin and ragged. He could feel his stomach clenching at the humiliation of seeing you engaged in an intimate make-out session with Toji Zen’in. 
How sickeningly sweet. 
At that point, he was laughing at his own expense, ignoring the elderly lady who looked at him like he was a crazy person. He stood there frozen for a few minutes, watching you kiss another man before it finally woke him up from reality. 
It was out of love that he let you go. 
You see? This was where his attachment to you would lead him. It was pure and unreasonable selfishness, but he would gain nothing at all from even seeing you. He didn’t need to care for you at all, no. You had Toji. You seemed to be goddamn happy with your life with Toji. And what a romantic fucking moment that was, too. 
Satoru couldn’t think straight when he hurriedly left the hospital and got inside his car. He desperately wanted to forget the painful image of you locking lips with somebody else. How? How would he? Fuck! He was mad, mad at himself for choosing to come to your aid like he still had any role in your life. He was disgusted at himself for ignoring Akemi’s calls after promising her a movie date after work. He couldn’t believe he had her waiting all by herself in that cinema, waiting for him to come while he was stupidly running around the hospital to see his ex-wife. 
You chose Toji, then you better be happy. Satoru hoped you were happy, and that wish came from a place of genuineness. He genuinely hoped the best for you. Because for him, it was time to fully let go and stop himself from trying to be the superhero whenever you were in danger. You weren’t his wife anymore. 
So, was it out of love that he headed straight to Akemi’s apartment that night with a bouquet of red roses? 
She didn’t know what happened nor was she given the full detail as to why he unintentionally stood her up on their date night. He had just briefly explained that he had to drop Sachiro off to you at a hospital because you got into a small accident. Akemi, being your friend, got immediately worried upon hearing the situation and asked if Satoru was able to check on you. 
He said no. He said Toji was there. He said he left as soon as dropped Sachiro off. 
And in an effort to apologize for not paying attention to the current woman in his life, Satoru pulled Akemi in a tight embrace. He held her in her arms, drunk from the sweet and citrusy notes of her perfume, before pulling away to kiss her. He kissed her with the same passion as you did with Toji. Perhaps even more, even better. He completely devoured her lips, with a hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. The taste of her tongue was sweet like strawberries, while her lips were red like cherries. 
This woman was all he needed. 
But was this love? He didn’t know. It was too soon to tell, too early to answer, too hasty to even consider. 
— —
The current situation you were in reminded you of your younger self after your mother had died. It was the same before; you never left the house, often locking yourself in your room, shutting yourself off from the world, and drowning yourself with the pain and loneliness of losing somebody important. 
Sure, no one really died for you to be acting this way right now, but the feeling was still the same. Was this really a comeuppance to all of your wrongdoings before? But just how terrible were you of a person to be hit by this unbelievable truckload of sorrow? You might as well spur on the physical pains of your angina again if this torment continued. Otherwise, how else do you avoid it? 
You were being a terrible mother, too. You were too engrossed by your own misery that you couldn’t even properly take care of Sachiro. He didn’t deserve to have an incompetent and irresponsible mother like you. He deserves someone better, someone like Akemi, who not only has all the motherly traits a woman should have, but also the physical and mental capacity of being a true, strong woman. 
Sachiro was bound to have that, anyway. Now that his father was planning his lifelong journey with another woman, and now that he was trying to build a happy family with her, you were no longer needed in the picture. There was no need for you. 
How many more times would you tell that you have accepted it? 
Because, god be damned, you knew you couldn’t. You knew you were lying to yourself when you said everything was fine, lying to Satoru when you told him you didn’t need him in your life anymore, lying to Toji for telling him that you wanted to marry him, lying to Akemi that you didn’t care if she was seeing your ex-husband, and lying to Sachiro when you promised to him that you would never leave his side. You were a liar. A terrible liar. A pitiful, terrible liar. 
How would you tell the universe that you couldn’t take it anymore? That, for once, you wanted to be showered by happiness and all the good things in life? 
Sera was right. Not everyone could have it all. There were people of lesser fortune who weren’t blessed to live a lavish life like you, yet still work hard to achieve what they want. Why couldn't you achieve your own happiness without blaming it on the universe? If this was simply a lesson, then weren’t you the top student at this rate? 
God. God, help me. You really didn’t know how to deal with this life anymore. You weren’t sure how to proceed. You couldn’t rely on anything other than the bottle of alcohol on your hand—what was once full was now half empty after you took another swig. This was your second bottle already, wasn’t it? Or third? 
You got up from the floor and failed to walk in a straight line as you made your way towards the balcony. Your steps were unsteady, wavering like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze. With each attempt to move forward, your body swayed from side to side, struggling to maintain balance. You almost lost grip of the bottle you were holding. No, it did, in fact, slip from your hand and ended up crashing into the floor. Shards of glass lay across the ground, ready to pierce the soles of your feet to mirror the same physical pain your heart was experiencing. 
“Stop,” you muttered under your breath, begging for your chest to stop hurting. But it only worsened, and your antidote to that was to wash it down with even more liquor. No matter how expensive it was, you didn’t even like the taste of alcohol. You hated the sting on your throat whenever you drank it. You despised the bitterness it left on your tongue. However, it did great at numbing your emotions. 
It just felt wrong in many ways that you were seeing Satoru’s face whenever you closed your eyes. You could see his smile, his loving eyes, his beautiful lips. You missed his embrace, his kiss, his touch. You missed hearing his I love you’s. Him. You missed him. You yearned for him. Three goddamn years, and you were still undeniably in love with him. 
“Satoru…” you cried, sitting on the floor. Each breath made it harder and harder for you to catch as tears continued to stream down your face. You were tired of pretending, denying that you no longer had feelings for him when you knew deep down that you would always choose him. “S-Satoru… come back to me, please.”
Was it him coming inside your room? Or was it your vision making a fool out of you? 
“Baby, what are you doing?” Satoru’s expression was engulfed in immense worry as he knelt down and reached out to you, touching your cheek and looking at your eyes somberly. “Don’t do this yourself, Y/N.” 
Your head hung low, your gaze unfocused and glazed, as you fought to keep your eyes on the path ahead. You had to reach him. You wanted to touch him, hug him. And despite your best efforts, your movements were disjointed and erratic, betraying the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins.
“Y/N, that’s enough.” Gen had to use force just to be able to snatch the bottle away from you, forcing you to wake up to the reality where Satoru no longer existed to be there for you. It was her who came rushing inside your room in the middle of the night. The bottle of liquor was now spilled all over the floor. The same could be described with your emotions. “Get it together. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately!”
You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. You were in delirium after having dealt with all the terrible things the world had thrown at you. If you couldn’t drown yourself in alcohol, how else would you have been able to numb the pain? How else would you have been able to… forget? 
As much as your sister tried to hide the obvious sympathy in her voice, even your drunken mind could recognize it. “We all know you’re going down the depression lane again, but never to this extent.” Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, cradling you into her arms as a tear fell down her face. The Gen who would usually lecture you, was now holding you in her arms as her only baby sister. “Stop this, Y/N, please. Don’t ruin your life the second time. I-It’s hurting me. It’s hurting Dad. Do you… do you realize what Sachiro’s gonna think of you when he sees you like this?” 
“Gen…” Muffled sobs unwillingly came out of you, leaving you with such excruciating pain in the chest, so much so that it didn’t even feel like you had done surgery to fix your (quite literally) broken heart.  “I w-want him back,” you continued to cry, “I want my husband back. I want to be with h-him, Gen.” 
“Y/N.”
“Where’s S-Satoru…? D-Did he leave? Please take me to him—”
“Y/N, listen to me.” She gently cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at her pained eyes. “You’re intoxicated. He was never here, and he’d never come for you. You have to let it go.” 
“But—”
“He’s not good for you. He never will be.”
— —
It had been two weeks since Satoru last heard about you. Miwa was the one who updated him that you had already returned to your family’s mansion, letting him know that you were okay and that you were recovering well. Frankly, Satoru was starting to get annoyed at the fact that his secretary was still giving him updates about you. What did he care? He wasn’t your husband anymore. 
Besides, Toji was probably visiting you every day, so why did he have to worry about you? If there was anyone he should be worried about, it was Akemi. She had been experiencing terrible pelvic cramps lately, which needed to be given serious attention, but you would never see her being dramatic about it. The only thing she needed was for Gojou to accompany her visits to the OB-GYN, and even then, she never showered herself in self-pity. She carried herself like an independent woman, and that was exactly what Satoru needed in his life right now. 
He had a son to raise. He had a company to run. It wasn’t the perfect time to commit himself to someone lawfully. Heck, he didn’t even believe in marriage anymore. He realized that two people could still love each other without getting married. As long as Akemi didn’t pressure him about such things, he was fine with having her around. She didn’t ask for anything much, anyway. 
As for you, well… 
“What are you planning with that mansion you gifted Y/N?” asked Nanami, seated on the couch inside Satoru’s office, casually reading a newspaper. “Do you even remember that?” 
He certainly did. “What about it?” he questioned, idly toying with a pen on his desk. “It’s her property now. She can sell it if she wants.”
Better yet, you should let Sachiro inherit the property someday. His son was already set for a life of privilege having wealthy parents on both sides, but wouldn’t the mansion be a substantial addition to his assets in the future? Satoru couldn’t help but envision the kind of man his son would grow up into. He hoped Sachiro would not inherit his father's immaturity and pettiness but would embody the kindness and altruism of his mother. From a business perspective, however, Satoru planned to groom his son to be a leader, as he was the sole heir to the Gojou Group. Additionally, he would also inherit half of Creston and the entirety of Hearte. No wonder Sachiro was recently listed as the wealthiest kid by Forbes Japan. He even beat Megumi Zen’in from the list even though the teenager was the heir of the Zen’in business empire. 
These were the thoughts that should consume Satoru—the future, not the past. His kid, not you. And he was right about doing so, because when he came home to his penthouse, he was told that he had a visitor. 
A visitor on a Wednesday afternoon? 
Your brother-in-law, the esteemed prosecutor who sent his evil stepmother to jail, appeared on his front door, carrying Sachiro in his arms. It was hard to tell what type of emotions were visible on the man’s face, but he definitely didn’t bring any good news. 
“Ian?” Satoru promptly made way for the man to come in, ushering him into the penthouse and allowing him to set Sachiro down. The young boy was quick to dart off to his playroom, leaving the two men in an uncomfortable silence. “What’s going on? Weekends are usually my schedule with Sachi.” 
Ian cleared his throat, a hand on his pocket. “Do you mind looking after Sachiro for the time being?” 
By saying ‘for the time being’, it seemed like Ian wanted to actually say ‘until further notice.’ But that confused Satoru even more, because what was happening for the man to come here and ask him to let Sachiro stay beyond the agreed schedule with his father? He couldn’t read through Ian’s expression and it was making him uneasy. 
“I can, but… why so suddenly?” Gojou asked, glancing at his oblivious son. 
“It’s Y/N’s idea, Gen doesn’t know about it.” Ian released an awkward chuckle. “You know how my wife is.” 
Gen would absolutely hate it, Satoru was aware for sure. Though the questions lingered in his mind. “Why would Y/N want Sachi to stay with me? Where’s she?” 
Was it him or was Ian having a hard time explaining the situation? It felt like he was walking on eggshells, deciding between what had to be said and what shouldn’t. He was careful with his words when he spoke again, “Y/N flew to Monaco this morning and will be back when she’s ready. She says Sachiro should spend all of his time with you while she’s gone.” 
Monaco? Why would you be there?
Confusion bathed Satoru’s eyes. “Is it for a fashion event or something?” 
“No, she’s just…” Ian struggled heavily. “Well, to sum it up, she has to go there to sort some things out. It’s a personal thing, but she really needs this time for herself and we think it’s the best for her right now. I don’t know how long she’s gonna stay there or when she’ll be back, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here.”
No, he didn’t. Satoru found it difficult to fathom his ex-brother-in-law’s words, seeing as he had no general idea of what was truly going on. But if you were flying to Monaco, surely Toji wouldn’t allow you to go there all by yourself? 
Ahh. It made sense now. I see what’s happening here. 
Satoru’s lips curled into sarcasm. You would be vacationing with the love of your life. Is that what it was? Planning your halted wedding? Choosing wedding gowns? Looking for venues? There was no way you would be flying to Monaco alone, especially without Sachiro around when you two had been inseparable since his birth. 
“What kinda mother is she?” Satoru muttered in disgust, unaware that Ian had overheard him. But Ian had heard loud and clear. How could you leave your son behind like this? Couldn’t you face your ex-husband to discuss it, instead of just dropping Sachiro off as if he were some unwanted toy?
“Hold it right there,” Ian interjected, becoming defensive at the accusation. “You have no idea what she’s going through.”
How would he know? No one was telling him shit. No one was giving him details, so did they expect him to understand things and accept them as they were? Did they do the same thing to Satoru when he was at the verge of losing his sanity asking everyone for forgiveness over and over? 
“I've never taken sides between you two, Satoru, you know that,” Ian continued, trying to maintain a calm demeanor and speak with clear judgment, “But one thing I’m not gonna let you do is call Y/N a bad mother.”
Satoru’s chest tightened at Ian's words, a mixture of guilt and frustration bubbling up inside him. He knew he shouldn’t have spoken out of turn, but the pain and resentment were too raw to contain. It felt like you were abandoning him and your child, like you were off to a new chapter in your life again, and leaving everything behind. Perhaps this was his trauma from the New York thing crawling back at him, but it definitely reminded him of the day you had abandoned him. For three fucking years. How long would it take you to return now? 
Why do you keep doing this? He was sick of it. You kept running away instead of talking to him. He gets it, people change, circumstances change, but couldn’t you at least have the decency to talk to him about it? Was it wrong for him to wish you’d handled this differently? To wish that you’d talked to him, involved him in the decision-making process, instead of just making this unilateral decision and leaving him to pick up the pieces? 
Satoru took a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of Sachi,” he reassured, “I’ll take some time off work and have ‘Kemi help me out.” 
He looked back at Ian, his eyes pleading for further details, for answers, for some semblance of clarity in the midst of this emotional turmoil.
Yet none of it was given. 
And so, would it still be wrong to assume that he could now completely forget about you? That this opportunity to be with Sachiro would allow him a chance to share it with someone else? If you spent three years of your life playing house in New York with Toji, would it still be unfair for Satoru to do the same with Akemi? 
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getosbigballsack · 1 day
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Random thought! - Husband Gojo x Wife Reader-chan #inside the diary
Hear me out! Gojo read your thoughts in your diary and came to realize that he was a terrible husband to you.
He knew he was a good lay, hence the reason he managed to knock you up three times. But as of lately, he came to realize that you weren't interested in having sex with him.
At first, he thought it was just because you were too tired, having to take care of the kids while he works, all day by yourself (in which he understands, and he praises you for being such a wonderful mother).
But that wasn't the case. He just happened to come home early from work while you were out shopping with the kids, and he got a hold of your diary.
Interestingly, he took it upon himself to skim through the pages of your book, just to see what's inside your little head. Nothing out of the ordinary, just little notes and reminders to yourself about the task you had to complete and a few words of encouragement here and there.
He usually doesn't read through your thoughts, always thinking that if you had an issue you'd come and talk to him, so he was about to put your diary back where he found it because he didn't want to pry further into your thoughts, but that's until one page in particular caught his eye.
I find it difficult to enjoy sex with my husband nowadays and I don't know why?
Words in blue handwriting are written beautifully on the paper. He kept on reading, and as he continued to move further down the line, he felt his heart break.
It’s just me, but I don't think I'm attractive enough to have sex with my husband.
I wanted to suggest the last time we had sex [that was a month ago], but I didn't wanna ruin the moment for him because he looked like he was having fun.
Satoru came home today and wanted to have sex. I told him no. He never forced himself on me. He only kissed me goodnight and left to go sleep in the guest room. I know he was upset but did he really have to leave?
It's been 2 months, and Satoru hasn't tried touching me since that night. Am I not worthy of loving anymore? He doesn't even buy me flowers anymore or take me out on dates.
He doesn't compliment me anymore, doesn't tell me that I'm beautiful. He doesn’t even call me baby girl, doll or even honey.
No more I love you, only kisses to the forehead and peck on the lips before he leaves for work in the morning.
He comes home late, I'm always alone with the kids, no more family dinners, no more kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom conversations. No more late-night kisses, no more holding me tightly in his arms while he sleeps.
Does he not want me anymore?
Sometimes I wanna visit his office with the children but I’m afraid that he’ll find my presence a bit annoying. I feel lonely without him here with me.
I should've said yes that night and spread my legs for him,
That's my duty as his wife.
To have fulfilled all my husband's needs without complaint.
But it hurts to have sex, I'm just not in the mood. I'm too tired, I just need my husband to hold me, but he's not there.
I can't complain, he's the reason I don't have to work.
But is it so bad to ask my husband to love me without having the need to touch me?
The last entry to your diary reads.
I'm going to do it today, bare the pain and have sex with my husband, just so that I can feel his love once again. 
Now he knows the real reason you won’t have intercourse with him, or let's say the reason you don’t enjoy having sex with him. You feel as though he doesn’t love you anymore, and he needs to fix that. So, until he can figure out a way to prove to you just how much he loves you, he’ll have to deprive himself of your warm loving touch. 
Later in the day when you came home with the kids, you saw your husband cooking up a storm in the kitchen. “Hey baby girl, want something to eat? It’s been a while hasn’t it.” too stunned to even say a word, you just watched as your kids, ages 3, 4 and 6 ran over to their dad and engulfed him in a big hug. He giggled and stopped whatever he was doing to bend to his children’s height and kissed every single of them on their cheeks. “Hey boys. Did you all take your mom out shopping today?” Oh, that’s right you’re a boy mom. You managed to pop three boys, all of them came out looking just like their dad, especially your eldest son. 
The boys chatted away with their dad until he excused himself and walked over to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. You're in a state of shock, unable to move for a moment until he whispers, “can I get a hug back?” and you did give him a hug. 
“Welcome home, have a seat, dinner’s almost ready. I cooked vegetable curry today, I know it’s your favourite,” and indeed it is your favourite. For the rest of the day, he spent time in the kitchen cooking while chatting with his kids, not without taking small glances at you. You all ate dinner together, got the kids ready for bed when night falls, before preparing for bed yourselves. 
You remembered that you wrote in your diary that you were about to try and have sex with your husband, all for the sake of feeling his love again, but that didn’t happen. Instead, you found your husband already waiting for you on the bed, fully dressed in pjs, a cup of your favourite tea in his hand and a warm loving smile on his face. 
He immediately started up a conversation with you, asking you about your day and your trip to the shopping centre. You had no clue what was going on inside your husband’s head, but it’s been a while since he last sat down and had small conversations like these, and you weren’t about to miss this opportunity. 
So with a smile on your face, you told everything that happened today and even the fact that you had to buy a bag of grapes you had no intentions of buying, but you did so because your 3 year old son stole and ate a few while you picked up a bag of oranges. The conversation went all a while until he sighed. 
“Y/N,” he whispered in a serious tone. “We need to talk. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I can’t bear the fact that my wife would be going to bed with doubts about our relationship and my love for you.”
You swallow thickly and rest your now empty cup against the nightstand before turning to face your husband fully. He reached his hand out for you, and you gently placed your left hand in his. He wrapped his large hand around your finger and gently pulled you until you were straddling his lips. You swallowed that thick lump yet again, before whispering, “So what is it that we need to talk about.”
“Why do you always refuse to communicate your feelings with me?” he asked as he let go of your hand and wrapped both hands around your waist and rested his head up against your chest. “I know I haven’t been a good husband to you these past few months, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you or that you’re not worthy of loving.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
He sighed heavily before taking a deep breath. “I found your diary in the living room when I got home, and I read through your notes.” Your body tensed up in his lap, your mind immediately racing towards negative thoughts. Is he angry? Why did you have to carelessly leave your diary out in the open for him to see. 
“Oh!”
“I’m sorry for reading through your diary, but I’m happy that I did because my wife won’t communicate with me,” he said with a frustrated sigh. 
You frowned, “Would you have listened even if I tried?”
“I would’ve dropped everything and listened to whatever it is that you have to say. I know it's my duty to ensure that my wife is living her best happy life, and that it’s also my responsibility to take care of your wellbeing, but I can’t always know what's going on with you if you don’t communicate with me.” 
Communication on your end has always been a big issue in your relationship with your husband. It bothered him and he’d hope that after a while you would’ve grown out of your bad habit, but he guess he’s wrong, because here you are now after 8 years of being a relationship total and that includes the four years of marriage, and 3 kids later, you still struggling to figure out a way to communicate your feelings with him. 
“I broke my heart when I read that you thought that as my wife, your duty is to only provide for me sexually or even the fact that you don’t think that you’re attractive enough to have sex with me. What hurts me the most is that you have so many doubts about my love for you. Y/N you know that I love you right?”
“I do,” your voice trembled slightly as you answered. 
“Then why are you doubting my feelings for you? I apologise for leaving you to sleep in the guest room that night, it was wrong of me to be upset all because you told me no.” There was a moment of silence, you figured he was waiting for a response in which you never gave.
“I know I don’t say this as much as I need to, but I love you. I LOVE YOU so very much. I love you as my best friend, my wife and I love you even more as the mother of my children.” Tears started to obstruct your vision as you stared off at your wedding portrait that was above your bed and listened as your husband poured his hurt out to you. 
“I need you to stop thinking that you are not worthy of loving because you are more than worthy. You’re an amazing woman, an amazing wife, and an amazing mother to our children. Just the fact that you're a mother makes you worthy of loving.” 
“Satoru… I- I,” you stuttered, trying to formulate the words inside your mouth, but even if you did, what are you going to say to your husband? You had not one clue. 
“I’m not a mind reader Y/N, so you need to start communicating your feelings with me, because if you don’t tell me, I’m not going to always know,” he said to you as he snuggled his head against your chest. 
“I- I’ll do better.” 
“I’m happy to hear that, and I promise to show you just how much I love you and do whatever it is to ensure that my wife is happy, because your happiness means the most to me. I’ll get you those flowers you want, and I’ll try my best to buy you loads of flowers in the future. And about visiting my office.”
“Yes?” you said. 
“I would love for you to pop up at my office one day with the kids and surprise me. My workers have been dying to meet my beautiful wife and children. And about the late-night work meetings. I can’t promise you that there won’t be any more late-night meetings, but I'll do my best to get home as early as I can to be with you and the kids. I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve abandoned you with the kids. I’ll take a few days off from work too and take the ends out. You’re right we barely have family time.”
“Thank you,” you said smiling as you allowed those tears to run down your cheeks. 
“I’ll do better as your husband. It wasn't my intention to not cuddle and hold you tightly while we sleep. Baby you know you can always smack me in the head or do that cute silly little thing you do and crawl underneath my arms if you want to cuddle with me,” he said to you, and you let out a small giggle. 
He chuckled too as he removed one hand from around your waist to cradle your cheek. “Lastly, this is about our sex life. If I make you feel physical pain, or uncomfortable at any time during intercourse you need to let me know because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. In your diary you said that you wanted to suggest the last time we had sex. I want you to tell me what it is.”
Your face heated up immediately, why would he have to bring that up now. Couldn’t he have waited until a better time. But nonetheless despite the obvious look of embarrassment on your face you whispered, “I was wondering if… if…”
“Yes?” 
“I was wondering if we could try something outside the usual vanilla sex,” you said to him, and he cocked his eyebrow towards you. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy vanilla sex, I love having vanilla sex with you and you know how to be rough when you need to be. But I thought it would be nice if we could do something different.” 
“What do you suggest?” he asked with a sunning grin on his face. 
“Maybe we could try using some sex toys.” 
“Sex toys heh?” he said, and you quickly covered up your face with your hands. “I’m open, I don’t mind getting a few sex toys here and there for us to use. I can order us a few online on another day.”
“Ok…”
“Good girl. I love you.” he whispered as he kissed your lips. "I promise I'll be a better husband for you."
“I love you too, Satoru.”
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Text
she's mean, and he loves her for it.
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summary: your peers wonder how the ever-so-annoying gojo satoru can stand being in a relationship with you pairing: sunshine!gojo satoru x grumpy!female reader genre: angst, fluff warnings: none
Masterlist
"Did you guys know Gojo-sensei is dating-" Nobara looks around left and right before whispering your name in fear that you might be around.
"Ehhh?" Yuuji's eyebrows knit together. "No way. She's so scary and he's so...happy."
Nobara agrees, "She never smiles -- kinda looks like she has a permanent frown, too. She scares me."
"You think maybe she intimidated him to date her?"
Megumi watches as his two friends bicker about whether you and Satoru look good together, not realizing that you've heard everything they said. Megumi notices you've arrived to teach them and clears his throat, catching the attention of his two friends. He glances at you to check how you're doing after hearing what they said, but as expected, you remain professional and stoic. But Megumi knows better, he grew up under your and Satoru's wings after all.
"Shit." Nobara and Yuuji mutter under their breaths.
-----
It's fairly common for people to question your relationship with Satoru. He's this... happy-go-lucky guy who annoys everyone except those on the same wavelength as him, while you keep to yourself, prioritizing your alone time, and taking things seriously.
Sometimes, too serious.
You never let it get to you, though, because you don't really care what people say. You and Satoru are happy, that's all that matters. Until recently, when those jerk Kyoto students came over to train, they started talking about you and Satoru.
"She's so serious all the time, I don't understand how Gojo puts up with her."
"I think he's scared to breakup with her."
"I bet she's high maintenance."
"Honestly, why is he with her when he can be with someone who's... not so difficult?"
You grit your teeth at that last comment. You can't tell who said what, but it doesn't matter. Their words got to your head and now you're angry. Angry because you're scared they might be right.
Does Satoru think you're difficult? You're not entirely sure how to show them that yes, you deserve Satoru despite being the dark, grumpy person you are.
Sighing, you decide to go home instead of joining the dinner. Satoru's not in there anyway, he just got back from a mission and is waiting for you at home.
Once you close the door to your apartment, you immediately feel Satoru's arm envelope around you from behind. He smells like fresh mint -- just got out of the shower.
"Hi darling," he kisses your cheek.
"Hi, Toru." You take your shoes off and give him a quick peck before making your way to the bedroom to put your stuff down.
Satoru watches you slowly, "hm, aren't you supposed to have that dinner with the Kyoto students today?"
Your jaw clenches, taking a second before shrugging. "Decided to skip it. I'm tired."
He just hums, "In that case, you wanna watch Bridgerton with me after your shower?"
"Again?" You groan, "Isn't it like the third time you've watched it?"
"Yes, and?"
"I'll skip, thanks."
He blows a raspberry and leaves you to shower while he lays down on the couch to watch Anthony Bridgerton fall in love with his Kate Sheffield.
While you were in the shower, the words kept coming back to you. Somehow more exaggerated. You're difficult. He doesn't like you. He's just tolerating you. Why would he be with someone who doesn't even smile? Look at him, Gojo is the epitome of sunshine. You're nothing like him. Why would he like you?
Groaning, you let the hot water wash away your thoughts -- though they don't really go away. Maybe you should just try to be nicer to Satoru, be more cheerful.
After your shower, you see him lying down on the couch while watching his show, and you sit on the other end, silently dreading having to watch the same show again. But you're doing this for Satoru, so you will.
With a satisfied grin, Satoru saunters over and lies down on top of you, his head resting on your chest. You smile softly, enjoying the tight grip he has on you and his soft hair between your fingers.
"How was the mission?" You ask, "Did you have to go to Shoko?"
Satoru shakes his head, "Sweetheart, it's me we're talking about here."
"You can still get hurt, Toru." You pat his hair gently, "I've seen you bleed."
"I'm always careful. Don't worry." He kisses your hand.
You sigh softly. You know Satoru is always careful, it's just that he always goes on missions alone, and more often nowadays that it makes you worry. Yes, he's the strongest, but you never want to take that for granted.
"Toru," You call him again, a little hesitant, "You know I love you, right?"
He lifts his head from your chest, staring at you with those big blue eyes. "Of course. And I love you. So much."
He kisses you deeply, now switching positions so you're lying down on top of him. "So do you want to talk about it?"
"No.." You mumble. Of course, Satoru knows. He isn't stupid. He can sense when something's wrong with you, just like how you can feel the scar on his hip that wasn't there before. He did go to Shoko.
But none of you say anything. You just hold each other tighter that night. It's more than enough.
-----
Satoru is on another mission. It's supposed to be easy, at least that's what he said 3 days ago. You haven't heard from him at all in 3 days and you're beginning to worry. Your frown is deeper than usual, you sigh more often, and your fuse is shorter.
Everyone's more scared of you.
You let the kids take a break while you try to collect your thoughts. You can't be seen so distracted, not when Satoru left you in charge of them.
"You doing okay?" You hear Megumi's voice approach you.
Blinking away the tears that almost fell, you turn around to face him. "I'm fine, Megs."
"I told you not to call me that..." He sulks as he stands next to you, leaning against the wall. He can see you're distraught, and growing up with you, there's only been a handful of times he's seen you like this.
"You know he's going to be fine, right?"
You sigh. "I'm just worried."
You remember once when Satoru didn't come back for a week. He couldn't be reached, no one could track him down, and you were just at home, taking care of Megumi. The boy's more like you than Satoru, he's not exactly sensitive or cheery. But he knows when you're feeling sad, so he'd stay up with you, praying for Satoru's safety.
"Guys!" Yuuji runs towards you and Megumi.
"What is it, Yuuji?"
"It's Gojo-sensei-" He pants, "He's back!"
You run as fast as you can with Yuuji and Megumi, and you can finally see your white-haired, blue-eyed boyfriend limping his way back to the school grounds.
He raises his hand and waves to you with a big smile despite struggling to walk. "Tsk-" You frown even more, feeling the tears pooling again as you walk towards him and catch him in an embrace.
"Umph-" He groans. "Hi, baby."
You let go of him and check his injuries -- he's healed most of it himself, thank goodness, but the bruises are still there. "We need to go to Shoko-"
"Mm, that can wait." He pulls you to sit down on the soft grass, hugging you once again. "It's okay, I'm here now."
You choke on your own sobs and hug him tighter, sitting between his legs and burying your head in his chest. "You idiot."
"'M sorry for makin' you worry," he smiles gently, leaving kisses all over your face.
As you cup his face in your hands, you're suddenly very aware of the 3 pairs of eyes staring at you both. Noticing it too, Satoru covers your red, embarrassed face. "Okay, nothing to see here. Go.. do something. Scram. Skedaddle."
Once the kids are gone, he chuckles and thinks you're being really cute. "They're gone, sweets."
You glare at his teasing smile.
Satoru wipes away your tears, kissing your frown away. "What took you so long?" You ask after kissing him deeply, not letting him go.
A smirk lingers on Satoru's lips. "I took a detour to Kyoto after the mission to teach some kids a lesson."
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nana-gumi · 2 days
Note
I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR ANGST SM, WELL WRITTEN ISTG!! as one of my favorite angst writer, i had this idea in my mind for a long time. imagine you found out that you're 12 weeks pregnant and you were too excited to surprise satoru about it but when he came home, he broke the news that he got his ex pregnant. he was cheating and the surprise slipped out of your mind and you got angry at him and led into an argument... YOU CAN CONTINUE IF YOU WANT. I REALLY WANT TO SEE HOW OR WHAT ENDING YOU'LL WRITE. and also, make it a very very angst 😋
anyway, don't be a stranger g.satoru
pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader
cw: heavy angst, infidelity, pregnancy, illness, mentions of death, cremation, as usual not proofread hehe
a/n: YOU ASKED FOR THIS OKAY?? anyways, happy reading :p
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it was positive.
the moment you saw two red lines from the pregnancy test you bought, you didn't know what to feel at first, you were in disbelief so you tried it for the second, and third time, but the results did not change at all so you took this as a cue to visit a doctor, and there was no doubt in it, it was revealed that you were 12 weeks pregnant.
how should you tell your husband? satoru was barely home from his work after all. you knew how hard it is to be a new company's head so you understand him.
and so you dialed satoru's number as you nervously bit your bottom lip. he answered at the fifth ring.
"hello?"
"satoru–" you paused, and a small smile made its way on your lips. "can you come home, tonight? are you busy?"
"uh, not really." he sounded unsure but you didn't even noticed it on how excited you were.
"can you come home tonight, please?" you repeated.
"alright." he said as you heard him sigh from the other line "i– wanted to tell you something." he said and satoru's tone was unrecognizable, it was like his voice was slightly shaking.
"okay?" you worriedly said. "see you later, satoru. i love youuu."
"mhm, i love you too."
-
if someone would see you right now, they would, in an instant, notice that you were celebrating something special. you sure were prepared for satoru's return, you even wore nice dress and a cardigan as you await for his arrival.
and here he comes.
satoru enters the door and saw you approaching him.
"welcome home." you said as you leaned your face his chest followed by a kiss on his cheek. it was unusual on how he didn't return your advances as he walked past you.
his gloomy approach was affecting you as you placed a concerning hand on his shoulder, the surprise you prepared for him suddenly slipping out of your mind.
"what's wrong, honey?" you asked as you felt him tense up.
"you know i love you, right?" he said, and you thought you've read those words from a book before. you just hoped that the words he would say next wouldn't hurt you as much as the words on the book did.
you hummed in response as satoru turned to face you.
"i'm really sorry, my love. please forgive me."
"satoru, what's wrong? why are you– i'm scared." you said as satoru face palmed, his own body giving up as he was forced to sit down on the couch as he opened his mouth to speak and..
what was he saying? you sure you've heard it but, it sounds muffled when it entered your ears.
"i'm so sorry." he said as he stood up, embracing you as tight as he could so you wouldn't have a chance to step away from him.
"how long?" you muttered and satoru wasn't familiar with the tone of your voice. he didn't respond and it made your blood boil as you pushed him. "i asked how long!" you yelled.
"4 months."
"4 months?! 4 fucking months and you're just informing me about it right now? is that why you're not always home?!" you were screaming at this point and satoru tried to reach for your hand but you were quick to draw back.
"i already cut off ties with her! please believe me."
"satoru, you got someone pregnant! do you want the child to grow up without a father?" you exclaimed as you released a heavy sigh.
"it was just a mistake, we were drunk." satoru said as he embraced you.
-
"are you sure you'd let me attend the reunion?"
"yup, why? don't you want to?" you said as you fixed his tie.
"my ex is going to be there, though." he said and out of all the reactions he could get from you, he didn't expect you to smile at him as you pinch his nose.
"i trust you, satoru. i already did the moment we exchanged vows."
-
satoru was sure that the trust you had for him was already gone by now.
"take responsibility, satoru." you said as you push him by his chest.
"i love you so so so much, (name). please, i can't live without you."
"satoru, you can't just have me around while raising a child with another woman! what would people say?"
"like i told you, i already cut off ties with her."
"i know how it feels to grow up without a father, satoru." you mumbled as you look down on the ground. "it'll be fine. i'll manage, somehow."
"no–"
"why are you being stubborn!"
"you're being selfish!" he exclaimed as you gasp in surprise. selfish? you? how could he say that.
"you'll thank me someday, satoru." you mumbled.
"(name), please.."
"satoru. understand the situation." you weren't screaming anymore and.. why was he crying?
satoru took your hand on his as he placed it on his cheek and leaned on it, his tears stopping on your fingers and, you couldn't help but tear up as well.
"it'll be fine." you mumbled, voice breaking as you closed your eyes.
"i swear will all of my heart, that i love love love you. i'm sorry, forgive me. i didn't have enough courage to tell you sooner, because i was scared that it'll end up, like how it is now."
"it'll eventually come, you can't hide it from me forever, y'know." the storm was starting to calm as both of you spoke with hushed tones. "now go."
"let's talk about this one more time, please?" he mumbled as you slowly removed his hand on yours.
"then tell me, 'toru. what's there left for us to talk about?" you asked and satoru was, unfortunately quiet. "there's nothing, right?"
"love, please. i'm so sorry."
"what's done is done, satoru. we couldn't possibly go back in time and fix everything, right?"
"please." he whispered, hoping for something that he, himself doesn't even know what.
"i won't hate you for this, satoru. it's just– i hope you told me sooner."
"i'm so sorry. i'm grateful to have you as my wife, i'm sorry if i couldn't treat you like how you deserve it."
he really didn't deserve you. you were so understanding that satoru couldn't even look at you in the eyes.
"i'll say it as many times as i could. i love you. i didn't regret marrying you." he said as he cupped your tear stained cheeks and leaned his forehead on yours. "i don't really deserve you." satoru leaned in, kissing you and kissed back because both of you knew that, it was for the last time.
satoru left your apartment after settling things out. you fell on the couch as you felt something on the pocket of your cardigan.
"fuck." you muttered as you laughed bitterly, clutching the results in your hand, placing it close to your chest. you forgot the surprise and now that satoru have made up his mind, you knew there was no point on telling him anymore. grow up without a father, huh? now you're the one to talk.
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a week has passed.
"hey." he acknowledged as he sat beside you inside the court.
"hey." you responded as you fiddle with your fingers. a gesture satoru noticed when you're uncomfortable. were you uncomfortable around him?
"how have you been?"
"i don't know." you said as satoru went silent.
"are you okay? let's stop this divorce if you–?"
"no, i just don't feel well."
"you can still change minds, y'know." satoru mumbled, anxiously tapping his feet on the floor.
should you tell him? it was a chance, the only chance left before you and satoru have to separate ways. but as you recalled it, he mentioned that his supposed to be ex was 4 months pregnant and you were just on you were just on 12 weeks, equivalent to more or less than 2 months. it was her advantage.
"it'll be fine." you said as you sighed.
"you always say that."
-
"so, this is it?" you said as you stand across each other and satoru looked to his side and he was caught off guard when he felt you hold his hand, he took note of your cold hands.
you placed the wedding ring on his palms as you forced to close it.
"no." he said as he placed it back on you after removing his own ring. "i want you to keep it. for us." he said.
"okay." you said, turning around as you placed his ring and yours inside your bag.
"(name)." he called as you looked back. "i'm sorry i broke my promise, to have a happy family with you." he said and you wanted to tear up but you reminded yourself that it's not the right time to as you smiled at him.
"find me in another life then we can have a happy family there." you joked as both of you laughed.
is it normal to be like this with each other as if satoru hadn't just got his ex pregnant? as if both of you just haven't came out of the court after signing the divorce papers?
"i'll come and visit when i can." he said, and you hoped he would keep his words this time.
"okay."
"for the last time. i love you." you do too, but this time, you didn't say it back anymore.
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"don't you think sanyu is a good name for our child?" satoru said as you look up at him.
"do you want to have one?"
"i'd love to have a happy family with you."
"is that so? but why sanyu?"
"sanyu means happiness. it means we are happy that we have him." he said as you chuckled in response.
"and how are you so sure that it would be a boy?"
"instincts."
-
his instincts was right. you had a son with him and you named him sanyu.
unfortunately, when sanyu turned a year of age, it was found that he had a very weak heart. there wasn't a day where you and your son doesn't visit a hospital. he was just a kid but they already wanted to take him away from you.
"mama." sanyu called. there were a lot of tubes that was connecting his body and it hurts to see your son suffer like this. you always hoped that it was you suffering instead of sanyu.
"yes?" you responded as you sat on the nearby chair.
"papa? where?" he curiously asked and your heart couldn't hurt more. you were lying to your child all this time, that his father was not around because of his job. you'll have to explain it to him when he grows up though.
you held sanyu's hand on yours as you softly caress it.
"papa's not here. he's very very busy!" you said as sanyu frowned. "don't worry, papa will see you soon, okay?"
"okay. love love mama, papa."
-
you bit your bottom lip as you stared at your contacts. you're eyes switching from the phone to the surroundings as you slowly became anxious.
his contact was still in your emergency. you took a deep breath but in the end, you just couldn't dial his number, proceeding to call the person below his contact as you place the speaker close to your ear.
"hello?" you said as you heard a small gasp from the other side of the phone.
"hey, how are you? we haven't seen you since."
"i'm doing fine, thank you for asking, geto."
"what's the matter? why'd you call all of the sudden?"
"satoru." you said as you paused, gathering some courage left in you. "um, how is he?"
"well– he's doing good."
"he is, huh?" you mumbled. "can i ask you a favor, please?"
"of course. is it about satoru?"
"kind of?"
"alright, but satoru's a very busy man now, that's why it's gonna be hard to contact him these days."
oh.
"don't worry, it's not about that. can you– can you come here at the hospital? i'll send you the address and explain it to you later."
-
suguru arrived early than you expected it to.
"i'm sorry for calling out of the blue." you said as you approached him on the front desk.
"it's fine." suguru said as he shrugged. "why here at the hospital? are you sick?"
"i'm not. come, follow me." you said and suguru silently obliged as you finally stopped at a certain door. suguru noticed your discomfort as you slowly opened the door.
"mama!"
"hi baby. i brought someone." you said as you approached your son.
"what?" suguru mumbled in disbelief and he was left frozen on the door, his eyes widening. it was like a child version of satoru was infront of him.
"papa?" sanyu asked as he tilted his head to the said.
"i'm sorry, sanyu. i can only bring papa's friend." you said, your heart aching as your son frowned.
"sanyu?" suguru asked as he approached the two of you.
"i'm sanyu!" your son exclaimed and once again, suguru could only sigh in disbelief.
-
"how old is sanyu?" suguru asked when both of you left the room to grab a drink outside.
"he's 4 years old."
"does satoru know?"
"no."
"then tell him." easier said than done.
"you know i can't." you mumbled. "the favor–" you said as you faced suguru. "can you tell sanyu about his father? i just couldn't.." you mumbled as you played the can of the drink with your thumb.
"alright." suguru said and you smiled at him in return.
"thank you so much. it's just.. the doctors said he doesn't have enough time to–" you paused as you wiped your tears with your sleeves. "sorry for asking you this, geto. you are the closest to satoru, that's why."
"i understand, don't worry about it too much."
"i just couldn't tell satoru. i want sanyu to know what he wants to know. i couldn't tell him because i'm scared that i'll tear up once i mention his father to him. they said sanyu's running out of time.. i don't know– i'll just have to accept it nonetheless." suguru looked at you in pity as he embraced you.
"don't think about it, okay? sanyu will live and so satoru will know about it. i'll help you with it, 'kay?"
"okay, thank you.."
-
"you look like your papa."
"really?!" sanyu exclaimed happily as suguru hummed in response. "mama said papa is busy.."
"it's true, that's why i am here to tell you about your papa." sanyu looked at suguru hesitantly as he proceeded to ask a question.
"hmm.. is my papa good?" sanyu asked as suguru looked at you.
"he is. and he loves your mama so much."
"then why is he always busy?"
"sanyu." you called him, indicating to not asked those type of questions as he frowned.
and so sanyu asked a lot of things about his papa like what's his favorite color, favorite food, what he hates the most and many more, and you were thankful that suguru was there to answer it all when you couldn't.
-
"thank you, geto. i somehow feel at ease now."
"why don't you tell satoru about this?" suguru said as you started to zone out. should you? or should you not?
part of you believes that satoru has the right to know but part of you doubts it. satoru have a family now, a family without you. how would people think if they found out the owner of the famous company has a son from another woman?
you were once married to satoru, it was a mistake to let him take responsibility of his ex' pregnancy but, she was already at her 4 months of pregnancy while you're on your 12 weeks, she's clearly at the advantage.
"i'll try." you said as you embraced yourself for warmth.
"he's free around this time every thursdays." suguru said and you only nodded at his words.
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satoru was on his way to his office and he thought he caught a glimpse of you and, he wasn't wrong, it was really you.
"(name)?" you were startled at the voice as you placed your phone behind you.
"gojo–"
"i hate it when you call me that. call me satoru." he said, frowning at you as you laughed nervously. "you look tired. what's–"
get straight to the point.
"are you busy?" you asked, cutting him off.
"well.." he placed his palm on his nape as he looked behind your shoulders.
"dad!" a voice called as a kid you haven't saw appeared beside him. "what's taking you so long? mom's waiting."
"i'm sorry (name)."
"no, it's fine." you said, smiling at him and satoru knew better than anyone that your smile was forced.
"who's she, dad?" the kid asked. this must be satoru's child.
"an old friend, sanyu." satoru said as he looked at you and he wonders what made you look surprised. "go ahead first, i'll follow after you." he said as his son started to walk away.
"sanyu, huh?" you said as you looked behind his son's retreating figure.
"yeah. sorry about that." satoru said.
"why?"
"i don't know. but it was supposed to be our son's name."
"that's all in the past now." you didn't mean to sound harsh and it hurts.
"right."
"i'll take my leave then." you said, every step you take makes your heart ache as an apology for you son slipped out of your mind.
"(name)." he called once again as you stopped in your tracks but you didn't face him.
"you were right when you said i'll thank you someday." he mumbled and you knew very well that he was smiling as you gulped the lump in your throat. "so thank you. i am the happiest father, ever. even if–" he paused and you didn't respond. it was like he was rubbing a salt in your wound as you heard him sigh. "see you then." he said as you felt his hand on your shoulder for a moment before his footsteps disappeared, and then you took your leave after, going back to your son, who was waiting for your arrival.
but, why was this happening to you? of all people?
"hold onto mama's hand, mhm?"
"mama, sorry."
"mama's sorry too, i promised that you'll see papa but–" sanyu shake his head, something like disagreeing to your apologies.
"it's okay, mama." sanyu mumbled, the sound of the monitor beeping slowing down as you hold onto his hand tight. this happened before already, he will get back to normal soon, you were sure.
"mama loves sanyu, papa too. always remember that, okay?"
-
"hey (name)!" suguru called from the distance as he approached you. "what are you doing outside? oh by the way, i was wondering if i can bring shoko too? she would be delighted to see a carbon copy of satoru." suguru chuckled but he noticed that you were quiet, your hand was between your thighs as you stare at the ground.
the door opening caught your attention as the doctor came out after what it seemed like a year as he slowly shake his head left to right.
"i'm sorry ms. (name) but your son didn't make it."
"but you said he'll be fine! i am paying enough why couldn't you–!"
"i'm very sorry. we already did what we can." you were about to start an argument when you felt a hand on your shoulders and the doctor bowed at you before leaving.
and it all came crashing down as your body lost its strength, unintentionally leaning on someone, which was suguru.
"what am i supposed to do now?" you asked, the emotions you've been keeping all this time was starting to go out, all at once. "sanyu's all i have." you didn't even care if people watch as they walk pass by. "what should i do now, satoru?" you mumbled, voice breaking as you call the name of the person that wasn't even around.
-
"my condolences, (name)." suguru had managed to calm you down as he handed you a bottled water and sat beside you.
"i've decided to cremate sanyu. it hurts but it'll be for the best so.. so i could keep him near me." you said.
"i'll support your decision but i think you should tell satoru about it."
"no." you said, your tone was strict but it was quick to dissipate as you clutched the bottle in your hand. "i went to his workplace yesterday."
"what happened?" suguru asked.
"his son's name is sanyu too. i'm guessing you know it?" you asked as breath hitched silenty.
"yeah." he mumbled.
"well, it was the name he wanted when we were still planning." you mumbled as you smiled at the memory. "geto, i trust you not to tell anyone about this. it's just you and me who know this, okay?"
"i'm sorry but–" suguru paused. "i told shoko about it." you were surprised at first as you sighed at him.
"it's fine. i trust shoko too."
"yeah, sorry about that but– i was really hoping that you tell satoru about it because–"
"there's no need. thank you for telling my child everything he wanted to know, geto. i owe you."
"listen–"
"geto, as much as i am thankful for you, please understand that i don't want to hear things regarding satoru anymore." you said as suguru nods in response, feeling bad for pushing you when your still mourning for your lost and now that you had lost your only strength to continue living, what should you do now?
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omitea · 2 days
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𝐉𝐉𝐊! 𝐌𝐄𝐍 + 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐍
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. ft. gojo, geto, nanami, choso & toji.
. content. them moving on after ur breakup, angst, toji being a hoe, so ofc suggestive.
. note. as if i’d let them break up with me. locked in forever fr. reader n me finna square up in choso’s.
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☆— 𝐆. 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
gojo tries to seek solace in others around him after you’re gone. in the beginning, it was kinda hard for him to fully accept you’re not coming back, which led to him being closed off. for him, it felt like cheating if he started putting himself out there again, even though it’s already been a few months—close to a year. women throw themselves at him, and he’s quick to brush them off— unconsciously telling them he has someone waiting for him at home. the proud words he often used to utter, quickly imprinting a bitter mark in his mouth.
☆— 𝐆. 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔
geto does still think about you after the messy argument that lead to your breakup. he goes on different types of dates to try and have fun again, only for him to mentally point out how different the girls were from you. he knows he shouldn’t. he knows that’s not fair for the different women he invites to the exact same cafe he used to take you. have them sit in the exact same spot where you used to sit. because a part of him hopes that maybe, just maybe he will find someone that looks the closest like you. or better yet— that you will finally appear in that seat across from him just like old times.
☆— 𝐊. 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
nanami respects your wishes and lets you go, no matter the uneasy feeling that bubbles in his chest. the same chest you used to find peace on. he still has some of your things lingering around; your favorite mug, some fluffy socks that you always wore when the chilly air froze your toes, that one novel he got you when he came home from one of his missions. and a framed picture of you and him still sits on his desk along with a cup of sugary coffee that has been sitting there for way too long because you left it there. even if he buries himself into work, he still has pieces of you to remind him to take breaks— to take care of himself like you used to take care of him.
☆— 𝐊. 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎
choso tries to understand why it hurts so much and to get used to not having you around him so often. it did end on good terms, but he still longed for the feeling of your warm body close to his. visiting you once in a while and trying his hardest not to mention why you won’t hug him for longer than a few seconds. confused as to why some other guy gets the same affection he used to get. the long hugs, the sneaky kisses that made him feel too shy when receiving, the places you used to kiss him that made his cold cheeks feel warm. it will take him a while, but he will understand eventually as time goes on.
☆— 𝐓. 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
toji goes out clubbing the same week you broke things off. grinding against the sweaty bodies of the women he then takes home. having them spread out on his bed as they take all the pleasure they can get from him. the man that also used to make you moan in pleasure on the exact same bed he pounds into different women almost daily. it’s sick, he knows that. but after some barely good fucking, he tells them to leave. chest heaving up and down as regret slowly fills him all over again. he might feel regret, but that feeling quickly seeps out of him as he thinks about the next one that will happily follow him home. it’s a never ending cycle with him.
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©𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐀. please refrain from stealing my works !
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elusivemoon · 2 days
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꒰ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 ! ꒱
⋆˙⟢ in which satoru knows one day you'll kill him but tonight he'll let you fuck him and threaten him instead.
somewhere in the depths of himself, satoru knows he should have never let you get close to him. you’re a black widow parading around as a person, wit as sharp as the blade you wield, the sword you smith out of your pearly bones and hold the tip of to his throat. in this stage of his delusion, murdering him would be a mercy killing. his illness is the catalyst of all his suffering. at the root of all his problems is you. loving you is an incurable sickness, a fatal disease that percolates slowly into his bones, mingling with his blood. if you look down in the core of him, all that’ll be found is you smirking in every cavern as you weave your whims into the base of all his notions so shamelessly. he simply can’t resist you; the quiet truth is he doesn’t want to. you’re an infection, really, the way you make the thinnest cuts and seep into them all. love-laced and haunting, decaying in his wounds and leaving the sweetness of your rot behind. cut him open. love him while he bleeds. fuck him until he heals. leave him until he forgets. rinse, repeat. rinse, repeat. “is it too tight?” you ask, sultry voice wispy and dripping in allure. “do you think i don’t know what you’re here for?” satoru rasps, ignoring your question, hips bucking up as he whimpers, movements restricted by his new restraints and your thighs. “you’re not fooling me.” “but you let me come back.” you sing with a sweet laugh, something he should note as menacing but only hears and finds the beauty of you in. “you even let me tie you up like this.”
you straddle his lap, bare-bodied and leaving a trail of slick behind on the underside of his length as you rock yourself back and forth along the surface of him, thick girth made slippery between your folds, aroused by the way you always have him at your mercy, he’s sure. inwardly, he tells himself he’s going to stop letting you do this to him. he’s going to stop letting you push him to the brink of death and only bring him back to make him show you what the pinnacle of pleasure feels like. moonlight reflects on the surface of gleaming silver as you grip the intricately carved hilt in a tight fist. you smirk down at him, watching him writhe underneath you with delight as he strains to buck his hips again, begging for more friction, the head of his thick cock weeping for attention and searching for something to sink all the way into. you keep yourself mounted on him, lazily rocking to let him feel just how wet you are. satoru does feel it and he aches for you, twitching involuntarily as he tries desperately to find something for himself to grind into. his breathing is erratic and broken; he’s so close to begging you to slide down on it. all the way. no more teasing. right now he thinks he’ll die from the need alone. and when you drag the tip of a knife along the seam of his neck, his breath hitches. he feels the bead of pre that gathers spill over the head of his cock, sensitive to every sensation, even the cool air that brushes against his soft and flushed body, exposed and constrained by you. "what if i carve my name right...here? not enough to kill you, just enough to ruin you for anyone else." you say, dragging the spired weapon along his throat, the sting of a cut only familiar to him at your hands. breathing strained and chest heaving, satoru asks, “y-you think no one will want me after you?" "no, i just don't think you'll ever want anyone else." a smirk as he hisses at the sensation of it piercing skin and puncturing flesh. "i figured out something interesting about the strongest...he's desperate to be a masochist. you want so badly to feel pain but no one's been able to touch you until me. isn’t that right?” all of it goes right to his head: the blood in his body, the pride of your words, the indignity he feels flustered by. satoru can’t help the wet, pathetic moan he lets out followed by the shaky plea. “p-please, baby. please. i-i…”
“the answer is probably no.” you tell him, the tip of your dagger scratching down the middle of his chest. “baby, you are a little foolish. you do know one of these days i’ll actually kill you, don’t you?” satoru’s whimpers shape into pants, overwhelmed by both his arousal and his shame as ropes of cum sputter messily from the head of his cock to his tummy and between your thighs, smeared into the seam of your cunt from your movements.
he's dragged to bliss by your threats and a knife to his throat — all of it sounding like a promise to see each other again.
© 2024 elusivemoon. all rights reserved.
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kingkonoha · 2 days
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𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃 — 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈𝐈
⎯⎯ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⎯⎯
♡ — 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄
♡ — 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: After what happened to you & your son, Satoru couldn’t stop drinking . . .
♡ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓: dark content, fem reader, canonverse, amnesia, mentions of death, suicide ideation, violence, mentions of food, drinking, gojo not eating. mention of gojo’s son & the reader struggling with their disabilities. reader wears dress/heels/perfume.
♡ — 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 11K
♡ — 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑’𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: Hi everyone, thanks for being patient with me! I doubt many of you remember this story and were waiting for a continuation, but I hope everyone who reads this enjoys this series coming to an end, and thank you for the kind comments on the last part.
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— MONTHS BEFORE THE REUNION —
“I’m going to throw myself off of a building today,” Satoru Gojo thought as he glared down at his uneaten dinner, sitting alone in the booth of a restaurant called Jeezers, a blue and yellow themed sandwich place that hadn’t seen a spec of cosmetic work since the 90’s.
And it wasn’t a drunken idea; there wasn’t any alcoholic beverage that he could blame the unwanted thought on.
But, could he truly call such a thought unwanted?
His body didn’t flinch when the dark image of his planned suicide entered his mind. He didn’t try to push the negative emotion away, tell himself to snap out of it, or immediately try to think of happy things.
Instead, he thought about how he would do it, where he would go, and when.
But, due to his great power, jumping off a roof wouldn’t kill him — what would?
“Do I have to chop off my own head? Is that the only way?” he thought.
Satoru shoved his unappetizing sub sandwich away. The sandwich itself was rather delicious. The employee wasn’t skimpy when it came to the toppings, and for only five bucks, he also was able to get a refillable soda with it.
But the white-haired man didn’t want food.
He wanted his wife and son to come back to life. Or, he wanted alcohol. And to die.
The glass entrance doors chimed as a person walked through them. The generous sandwich maker — and cashier, as the restaurant was understaffed — greeted the hungry customer who casually strolled toward the counter.
“Welcome in!” The young woman said.
“Thanks,” the customer replied.
And, when Satoru heard that voice — as he didn’t bother to look up and see who entered the restaurant — the former teacher sighed heavily.
The sound of footsteps approaching his lonely booth grew louder and louder. As the person came closer, their steps slowed down greatly as if they were approaching a wild animal, expecting it to lash out.
“Gojo?” The call of his name came from his student — a former student — Yuji Itadori. He hadn’t heard his voice in a long time. It sounded a bit deeper, but he still recognized it.
Satoru looked up. Unsurprisingly, Megumi was with Itadori as well, and Gojo’s eyes flickered over to the boy he practically raised himself.
Satoru didn’t bother with faking a smile, nor an overly enthusiastic greeting — one with a touch of a humorous tone — that would capture the personality of the great Satoru Gojo they once knew.
He wasn’t that person anymore. And, now, he didn’t even have the strength to pretend to be.
“Hey,” Satoru mumbled sadly.
At least he was sober right now. If his students had caught him tripping over his own feet, tears falling from his blue eyes as strong alcohol coated his breath, he would never forgive himself.
Much to the depressed man’s dismay, the two sorcerers slid into the other side of the booth.
“We haven’t seen you in a while,” Itadori said, his voice heavy with worry, but kindness as well. “How . . . have you been?”
Satoru took a moment to truly look at them. They were older. When he had last seen them, they were simply young teenagers, but now, their jawlines had sharpened a bit more. Their voices were slightly deeper. They had grown a couple of inches. Megumi was starting to look more and more like his father, while Yuji — who wore his hair pushed back now — started to resemble Sukuna.
Satoru clenched his fist unintentionally.
Sukuna’s finger destroyed his family.
That’s what the higher-ups told him.
Years ago, Satoru could easily tell the difference between Sukuna and Yuji, markings aside. But, now, it was like he was staring right at the King of Curses.
The only difference was that Yuji’s eyes were filled with kindness and concern, not pure evil.
“It’s not him. It’s Yuji. It’s just Yuji. It’s not him. It’s not him,” Satoru repeated in his chaotic mind.
Looking over at Toji — no, it was Megumi — did him no favors, either.
It felt as if Satoru was staring right at his two greatest enemies.
“It’s been a few years,” Megumi blinked, his face solemn. “We didn’t know if they ever locked you up for that little killing spree of yours.”
The dark-haired sorcerer glared at Satoru with eyes that begged for answers, and Satoru could easily tell that he wanted to ask him about the infamous killing spree since the day someone undoubtedly told him the horrific news.
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” Satoru clarified. He fidgeted with the paper wrapping of his untouched sandwich. “I was targeting curses.”
“Yeah?” A frown appeared across Megumi’s face. “But you were clumsy, and you hurt a lot of regular people too.”
“Leave him alone, Fushiguro,” Yuji glanced down at Satoru’s sandwich.
The uneaten dinner, along with the plain misery written all over his face, made it utterly obvious that the sad man was suffering enough.
Suddenly, the welcome bell chimed again as someone entered the restaurant. A pair of shoes clicked against the tile as they approached the counter before halting abruptly. There was a brief pause before their footsteps picked up once again, quicker this time as they changed their direction and made their way over to Satoru's booth.
“Gojo,” The young woman said with shock, as both a question and a statement.
Satoru looked up to see Nobara. Her ginger-brown hair was longer, falling past her shoulders, but not yet reaching her mid-back. She wore an eyepatch over her left eye.
She slid into the booth, sitting beside Satoru, who hesitantly scooted over.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” she looked at him. “How are you? I could kick your butt for leaving us behind, ya know.”
She smiled sadly as she spoke, her tone soft and humorous despite her words.
“I’m sorry.” Satoru’s leg started to shake.
“It’s okay,” Nobara glanced down at Satoru’s sandwich as well. “I get it. I’m just teasing you.”
“So,” Yuji spoke cautiously, thinking over his words before he said them. “What do you do now? Do you live around here?”
The country music playing softly in the background filled the silence for a moment. His former students simply blinked at him, waiting for a response.
“You guys should go to the counter and order your food.” Satoru stared down at the table. “I think they’re closing soon.”
“Gojo . . .” Nobara frowned, her honey brown eye glistening with worry. “Why don’t you come back to the school with us tomorrow? Everyone would love to see you, and . . . maybe you could talk to the higher-ups about becoming a sorcerer again.”
“The world has gone straight to hell without you,” Megumi added, although truly, he knew it was pointless.
The man couldn’t find the strength to have a proper dinner. He definitely wasn’t in any shape to fight curses once again.
“No, but thanks for the offer.” Satoru managed to glance up at the three of them once again, but it pained him to do so. “It was good seeing all of you, though. I better head home now.”
“Already?” Yuji frowned. “C’mon, Gojo. Just talk to us. Please.”
“What’s there to talk about, Yuji?”
“There’s plenty to talk about!” Yuji raised his voice, speaking louder than he intended, but luckily, the restaurant was isolated for the most part aside from an adorable elderly couple sharing a meatball sub, and the cashier, who started to wipe down the sandwich building station.
“If you don’t wanna become a sorcerer again, fine, but we can still help you.” Megumi stared into Satoru’s eyes. The younger sorcerer was secretly more upset than he let on, but Satoru could see the brokenness reflected in Megumi’s eyes as he started to speak. “You won’t eat your sandwich for some reason, so I’m guessing you’re struggling to eat anything at all. You’re not drunk right now, and yet, you still smell like alcohol. I’m willing to bet that you’re not actually trying to get home right now but to that bar down the street. Am I wrong? Not to mention — you look miserable.”
The silence was deafening.
Nobara thought about kicking Megumi under the table, but she didn’t.
“That was rude, Fushiguro,” Yuji mumbled under his breath, looking down at the table as he did so.
“I know, and I’m sorry, I really am, but kindness isn’t going to help him.” Although he was speaking to Yuji, Megumi’s eyes never glanced away from Satoru.
Satoru stared at Megumi with an expression his old student couldn’t recognize. It sent a shiver up his spine.
“Let me out, Nobara,” Satoru mumbled.
The young woman hesitated, flickering her eye between Yuji and Megumi to see what they wanted her to do. But, she truly couldn’t keep him there. What good would that do?
Nobara scooted out of the booth.
“Gojo, please don’t leave, just talk to us, we care about you,” Yuji's plea fell on deaf ears as Satoru started to make his way out of the door.
“We know you miss your family, but this isn’t how you handle it. Don’t leave . . .”
Satoru tuned out the rest of Megumi’s words.
Both Megumi and Yuji started to get up from their seats and follow their former teacher out of the door, but Nobara stopped them.
The look of sadness on her face spoke for her. It told them that there was nothing they could do. They couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped.
The two sorcerers sat back down, and the three of them watched as Satoru left the restaurant and made his way down the street to the bar.
— TWO WEEKS AFTER THE REUNION —
SATURDAY
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Ren, happy birthday to you!”
Your boy smiled happily as he leaned over his five-layer chocolate chip cookie cake and blew out his candles. The guests attending his eleventh birthday party all applauded.
“Did you make a wish?” A young girl with dark hair in a ponytail asked.
“Yeah. I made the greatest wish ever.” Ren grinned at his crush from school, a bit embarrassed to tell her what his wish was.
After all, when he blew out the candles, he had hoped that someday, your memories of Satoru would return.
The white-haired man walked up to Ren with a wide grin, wiping away his tears with his thumb. Satoru was wearing a colorful birthday hat, and he looked rather silly, but even so, he was excited to wear it.
“Are you ready to cut the cake?” Satoru grinned. “We can open presents after. How does that sound?”
“Sounds awesome,” Ren smiled back. “This is the coolest birthday I’ve ever had!”
Truth be told, he already had the number one thing he wanted. A dad.
But seeing the enormous pile of gifts in the corner of the venue was insanely cool as well.
The bright smile spreading across your son’s face made you grin too as you watched him interact with his father from a distance.
Satoru had planned Ren’s entire birthday party and didn’t hold back a single dollar when it came to making sure his boy had everything he wanted, from the cake that he started to slice into, to any gift he could ever ask for.
After all, the last birthday Satoru attended was when his boy turned three.
After a day of bowling and arcade games with his friends from school, they all met up with the parents and other adult guests at a local venue.
Blue and black video game themed decorations coated the entire place. His favorite songs blared softly through speakers as everyone ate the food served buffet-style and socialized with one another. During that time, Ren had met several unfamiliar people, such as his dad’s former students.
It might have been Ren’s birthday, but Satoru was just as happy. If the birthday hat wasn’t an obvious sign, then the constant photo-taking was. Every second, he was snapping a picture of his boy. He wanted to take a picture of you too, but he couldn’t build up the courage to ask.
From a short distance away, Satoru stared at you with those pretty blue eyes of his, watching as you chatted with Kento and Yuji.
He wished that he could say that the drinking had stopped once he found you again, that he no longer knew misery once you reentered his life, but that wasn’t true.
He was happy that you and Ren were alive, of course, but you didn’t remember him. And, if you didn’t remember him, then you didn’t love him anymore.
That hurt like hell.
His grief didn’t fade away, it only shifted focus.
But, even so, this was the happiest he had ever been since the great incident, and he managed to go five days without having any sort of alcohol as well.
About five minutes had passed before the conversation between you, Kento, and Yuji had ended. Satoru took that opportunity to approach you with a slice of cookie cake in hand, and with every step, his knees threatened to wobble. Hands almost started to shake.
He was nervous.
In that moment, he felt like his former teenage self who — despite his overly cocky attitude — had to spend months building up the courage to ask you out on a date.
It was the same thing all over again; he was trying to earn your affection.
Because if you couldn’t remember Satoru, then he’d simply have to win your heart all over again.
“Hey,” Satoru greeted, extending his arm as he handed you the paper plate with a slice of cake on it. “I had to fight three kids to get it, but I grabbed you a piece.”
With a soft laugh — one that Satoru missed hearing more than he could ever express — you took the plate from him.
“Thank you.” Grabbing the plastic fork, you took a bite. “And not just for the cake, but for helping out with the entire party. It means a lot.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.” Smiling shyly, Satoru put his hands in his pockets. “I’ve always spoiled him. I just can’t believe I have the chance to do it again.”
“That reminds me . . .” Suddenly, you turned around and sat the plate of cake down on a nearby table, and faced Satoru once again. “We haven’t had the time to talk about everything, and I’d really like to.”
You and Satoru both sat down at the round table, chairs turned to face one another.
For the past two weeks, conversation between you and him had amounted to nothing more than a few text messages being exchanged, all regarding Ren’s party.
After all, your boy was the only thing you both still had in common. Shared experiences and sweet memories no longer existed, and it wasn’t easy for you to get over your guilt, and for him to get over his heartbreak.
It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t remember him — obviously. But, even so, the sight of his suffering — even though he tried his best to hide it — made a lump form in your throat whenever you thought about the pain your absence had brought. And your return did little to mend it, thanks to your amnesia. It only brought another form of suffering.
“Noa-I mean, Ren . . . has really adapted to his new life pretty well,” you smiled a bit. “Well, his old life, which is now his new life, or . . . you know what I’m trying to say. I heard him call your friend Uncle Kento earlier.”
“I heard that too. Kento couldn’t stop smiling, and he never smiles.”
A beat of silence passed. Even now, while you were both trying to focus on yourselves — on your own relationship with each other — You noticed that Ren was the main topic of the conversation.
“Ren was worried that you wouldn’t like him. Did you know that?”
“What?” Satoru frowned. “Why?”
“His limp,” you said. “He thought that you would be disappointed. He assumed that any father figure that would possibly appear would be upset to have a disabled son, and discovering that his dad was a sorcerer, and the strongest sorcerer at that, well, it just made him worry.”
“He doesn’t have to worry about that. I think he’s perfect.” Satoru glanced down at the floor, smiling to himself softly as he thought about his boy. But, then, he came to the same realization that you did earlier: Ren was the main focus of the conversation yet again.
“We should talk about ourselves, though.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Clearing your throat rather awkwardly, you pointlessly shifted in your seat. You waited for Satoru to say something — anything to kick the sensitive conversation off. He broke his staring contest with the floor and looked into your visible eye.
But he didn’t say anything.
His eyes darted away from yours, and then a second later, he made eye contact yet again.
And, somehow, you knew exactly what that look meant. You couldn’t pinpoint how you knew, not exactly, but you did.
The way he stared at you, looked away, and then glanced back at you . . . it was familiar.
“What’s wrong? I know that look.” You frowned a bit. “You look like you wanna ask me something.”
Satoru smiled sadly.
“How do you remember Ren, but you don’t remember me? We were a family. I was away a lot, but . . .”
The unreasonable guilt gnawed at your insides. You shifted in your seat again.
“I only remember Ren because he was with me every single day after the incident. After some time, old memories with him started to come back.”
“What about memories of the three of us?”
“Sometimes, I can remember another person being there, and I can remember feeling loved and cared for, but I can’t picture a face or remember a voice. It really sucks, and I’m sorry. I just don’t remember you, Satoru.”
Your last sentence snapped his heart into pieces — what wasn’t already shattered, at least.
As you could see the pain reflected in his eyes, you sat up a bit, and tried to make the situation a little bit less heartbreaking as you said, “but I could, eventually. Being around Ren is what jogged my memory of him, so, maybe, in time, being around you will do the same. And I’m willing to make new memories as well, you know what I mean?”
Satoru made a facial expression that you couldn’t recognize. His face was as blank as a fresh canvas.
“All that matters is that you’re both still alive,” he lied, giving a fake smile. “I’m starting to become okay with getting to know you all over again. It’s better than thinking you were dead.”
It wasn’t okay. Not in the slightest. He wanted his wife to remember him. He didn’t want to start his relationship over, as if you were both strangers, under the pressure to recapture a love that was now lost.
“Why would the higher-ups do something like that?” You suddenly asked. “Why would they lie to both of us?”
“I can think of plenty of reasons. But I’ll deal with them later.” Satoru clenched and unclenched his fist. He planned on handling those god-forsaken higher-ups soon enough, but right now, his family was his top priority.
Once again, Satoru made that familiar face. The face that told you he wanted to ask you something.
“What is it?” You questioned, tilting your head just a bit.
Suddenly, Satoru’s hands were sweaty, just like they were when he was a seventeen-year-old lovesick high schooler.
“Do you wanna go out with me? On a date?”
A bright smile spread across your face. You didn’t know it, but it was the same smile you gave him all those years ago when he asked the first time.
“I’d love to.”
Two hours later, Ren’s birthday party came to an end. He was certain that come Monday, his legendary event would be the hot topic at school.
That night, after tucking your son in and kissing him goodnight — although he playfully insisted that he was too old now to be treated like a baby — you left his bedroom and walked into your own, collapsing on your bed with a sigh.
You gave yourself about ten minutes to rest before getting back up to wash a couple of dishes, take a shower, and brush your teeth. And, as you got ready to go to bed, you only thought about one thing: your date with Satoru.
— WEDNESDAY —
Chicken stir fry and fresh vegetables sizzled in the hot skillet on the stove, the tantalizing aroma traveling throughout your cozy two-bedroom apartment. A short distance away, you could hear Ren playing video games in the living room, chatting with someone through his headset.
“We got second place! Good job — even though I had to protect you the entire time,” Ren paused, laughing softly as whoever was on the other end of the headset spoke.
“What? This is the third duo match where you got eliminated before I did. You can kill curses, but you can’t aim?” Ren laughed once again.
You found yourself curious about who your son was talking to. He certainly wasn’t friends with any sorcerers.
Giving your meal one quick stir, you turned the stove heat down to low.
“I gotta go, I think dinner’s almost ready,” Ren said. “Thanks for playing with me. I know you’re really busy, so . . . thanks. Bye.”
Ren took off his headset and turned off his PlayStation 5 — a sleek, white, and big console that Satoru had bought him for his birthday.
As you stepped into the living room, your son smiled up at you.
“Hey Mom,” he laid his dark blue controller on the couch cushion. “This game system is awesome. It’s digital too, so I don’t have to buy physical copies of games anymore.”
“Yeah, I saw that in the directions. That seems pretty cool, huh?” You grinned softly. “Who were you playing with just now?”
“Yuji,” Ren paused. “He likes video games too. We were playing Fortnite. He said I used to always try to take his phone and play games on it when I was a toddler.”
“Oh, really? That doesn’t surprise me.” Raising your eyebrows in surprise, your smile widened. “It was nice of him to play with you, though.”
For the college-aged sorcerer to take time out of his seemingly busy schedule to play video games with your son was kind of him.
“Dinner’s ready. Put your controller away and go wash your hands,” you said.
“Yes ma’am.”
A few minutes later, you and your son were sitting at the small dining table, eating dinner together as he rambled on adorably about his day at school.
“I have about a week or two to finish my science project, but Mrs. Willows paired me up with Mae.” Ren took a bite of his egg roll as he spoke.
“Is something wrong with that? Mae’s lovely. She’s your crush, isn’t she? This could be a great chance to get to know her.” You thought about the way your son blushed as he chatted with the young girl at his birthday party.
You took a sip of your water and noticed that Ren didn’t respond. In fact, he frowned and placed his bitten egg roll back on his plate.
You knew what was wrong without asking.
Aside from the fact that he didn’t want to discuss the topic of crushes and romance with his mother, he was also incredibly insecure. Mae was always kind to him — that much was true. But, at his age, girls often went for the boys who excelled in P.E. class, not the ones who had a limp and couldn’t keep up with the physically demanding sports.
If only he could be more like his father, and his father’s old students — that is what he must have been thinking.
Not only were they strong and powerful, but they went to a school created specifically for sorcerers.
He should have been preparing to attend Jujutsu High in a few years.
He should have been getting trained by his dad to fight curses and save lives.
That’s what he thought.
“I wish I could become a sorcerer,” he mumbled.
“Interesting thought,” your fork gently scraped against your plate as you stirred your food around. “Why do you want to be a sorcerer?”
“So I can fight curses and stuff like Dad used to do.” Ren paused. “You used to be one too.”
“And the fact that I can’t remember that is exactly why you shouldn’t want to be a sorcerer, honey. It’s too dangerous. Your dad quit for a reason.”
“Okay, okay . . . you don’t gotta talk me out of it. I couldn’t become one anyway.” Ren stared down at his plate. “I was just saying it would be kinda awesome to be special like everyone else. Even you’re special.”
You frowned sadly. Seeing your boy’s eyes glisten with sadness as the corners of his lips fell into a frown was simply too much. The sight of it broke your heart.
“Ren, you are special.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re my mom.”
“No, I’m not.” You stared at the eleven-year-old, trying your hardest to hide how much it hurt to listen to your child’s opinion of himself — both what he expressed through words, and what you knew he was thinking. “You don’t need to be a sorcerer to be special. You don’t need to be great at sports, either. You’re incredibly smart — and I know that because I see your report card — and more importantly, you’re kind too. Not many human beings are as good of a person as you are. Do you know how special you have to be to live in a cruel world like this, and only want to help others? And you’re loved too. Everyone who showed up to your birthday party was there because they adore you, and they don’t care if you have a limp or if you’re not playing sports or killing curses.”
You leaned over, ruffling your son’s head of white hair. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you, do you hear me? I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else sees you. The way I see you.”
Ren smiled softly.
He couldn’t deny that he was loved. The amount of presents he had received for his birthday — which you both struggled to carry into the apartment — was a telltale sign of that. The amount of hugs from teary-eyed strangers who were relieved that he was alive also confirmed that fact.
His friends had also treated him like family.
As he thought about all of it, picking up his fork and gathering a bite of food, he figured that, perhaps, he was worth loving.
“Oh, by the way,” you suddenly spoke up. “I’m closing the coffee shop at three tomorrow, so you don’t go there after school. You can go to your dad’s house if he isn’t busy, or maybe Avery’s. Unless you wanna take the school bus and come home. Up to you.”
“Why?” Ren blinked curiously, but he couldn’t hide his excited grin over potentially getting to see his dad again. Sorry, Avery.
“I have a couple of errands to run. Shopping. Hair appointment. Stuff like that.”
“What for?”
This time, you were the one who couldn’t hide your smile. You took another sip of your water, and calmly — despite the way your heart raced — you said, “I have a date with your dad this weekend, so I need to get ready.”
Both Ren’s smile and eyes widened with unspeakable joy.
While he was overflowing with excitement over his parents going out together, you were filled with nervousness over your upcoming date.
— SATURDAY —
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Satoru Gojo could barely move.
His limbs were unspeakably heavy as if his bones were made out of pure stone.
The bedroom light was too bright. His eyes squinted, but it did nothing to stop his pounding headache.
Kento’s footsteps back and forth from his closet to his dresser — attempting to put together a nice outfit — were too loud.
But Satoru’s negative thoughts were even louder.
“I can’t do this, Nanami.”
Kento stopped walking. He turned his head to face Satoru, frowning.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Trying to get her to fall in love with me. It’s like we’re seventeen years old again, going on our first date. I can’t do it.” The poor man wanted to cry, a lump forming his throat that made it difficult to speak.
“Would you prefer the alternative? Getting drunk in a bar, thinking she’s dead?” Kento grimaced over his own harsh words, thinking that he might have been too harsh. With a sigh, he stepped closer to Satoru’s bed. “Listen, I know it sucks, but at least you’re getting a second chance. Your family came back, Satoru. They came back. And she might not remember you, but at least she’s willing to make new memories. I don’t understand why you’re so nervous.”
“She’s not the same person that she was before the accident, and I’m not the same person either.”
Walking over to the center of the room, the blonde-haired man laid Satoru’s shirt across the ironing board as he listened to the sad guy speak.
“Well, I don’t think you should be worried about that,” Kento said in response as he ran the hot iron over the shirt, smoothing out every wrinkle. “She knows that everything you’ve done, and who you’ve become, was just a result of thinking you lost your family. The Y/N I know would never judge anyone for being depressed over something like that — and she hasn’t changed that much.”
“But I was more than just depressed.” Satoru looked up at Kento as he spoke. “I hurt innocent people. I spent the last seven years of my life in a bar, and all I want right now is a drink. And you’re right, she wouldn’t judge me. But that doesn’t mean she’d want to be with me, either. I just want a drink, just one goddamn drink.”
The sound of gentle steam being released from the iron and the swooshing noise it made as it went across Satoru’s fancy shirt was what filled the silence.
And, during that silence, Kento stared at Satoru with an unreadable facial expression, one that sent a chill up Satoru’s spine.
His best friend was always so intimidating.
“So that’s it, huh?” Kento suddenly spoke. “You got your family back, but you’re still going to drink yourself to death because it didn’t turn out exactly how you wanted it to?”
“You don’t know how it feels to be forgotten by your soulmate.”
“You’re right. I don’t. But I know it’s better than your soulmate being dead. I said it once, and I’ll say it again: you’re getting a second chance. Most people would kill to have their family come back, even if the love of their life had amnesia and their child couldn’t remember them either. And you’re going to throw it all away because-”
“Nanami, she doesn’t know me.” Satoru’s voice quivered. He stared into Kento’s eyes with a glassy, tearful gaze. Unbeknownst to him, he started to dig his nails into his palm hard to hurt himself. Hard enough to draw blood. “She doesn’t remember anything about me. She looks at me like I’m a stranger. Not only that, but all the pain I went through for all of those years was for . . . for nothing because she was alive this entire time and I had no idea. How can you say I got my family back when they don’t remember us ever being a family?”
Kento turned off the iron.
He approached Satoru, kneeled in front of him, and placed his scarred hand over Satoru’s — a hand that was only so scarred from having to pick up more outrageous missions due to Satoru’s absence from the sorcerer world.
“So, let’s say she did remember you, Satoru. What then?”
“What do you mean?”
“What would you have done if she did remember you? Because if I recall, your relationship wasn’t perfect. You were away a lot, and it broke her heart. If she could remember that, then you’d still be in a similar position to the one you’re in now, because either way, your relationship needs some serious work. Do you really want her to remember how long she had to wait each day for you to return home from your work trips? The special events and holidays you missed? Right now, you have a chance to start over. And, who knows? Starting your relationship over might turn out to be easier than trying to repair it ever would have.”
When Kento finished speaking, Satoru looked sad.
Heartbreakingly upset.
The sight of his frowning face and teary eyes made Kento’s heart ache. He was brutally honest, but even so, he spoke to his friend softly. With love and care.
But maybe he was still being a bit too cruel.
“Hey . . .” Kento softened his voice even more and tried to make Satoru look him in the eye, but Satoru avoided his gaze. “I know what you’re thinking, and you weren’t a bad husband, just a busy one. You had a lot of responsibilities and I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty about that. I’m sorry, Satoru. This is supposed to be a good day.”
Satoru nodded as a way of saying, “It’s okay.”
Kento sighed.
Standing up, he made his way towards Satoru’s bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and dampening it.
Then, he returned to his previous kneeled position in front of him. Gently, he dabbed the fresh scars decorating Satoru’s palm.
“What if she doesn’t like me?” His sudden question broke the silence, but that silence returned rather quickly, as Kento didn’t respond.
Not immediately, at least.
He spent a solid thirty seconds trying to figure out what to way.
“It’s like I said earlier. She knows who you are now and what you’ve done, and that hasn’t deterred her away yet, has it? And for all we know, she could be worried about the same thing too. You’ve both changed, and that’s okay.”
Kento finished cleaning the little blood stains off of Satoru’s pale skin. He removed the towel, and kindly, he said, “Come on. Time to get ready.”
Your knee-length dress was red. It was tighter than the clothes you wore regularly, but not too revealing — the perfect balance of classy and sexy.
Your heels clicked against your floor as you stepped into the bathroom, checking out your hair and makeup one last time.
After spraying a bit of perfume on your wrists and collarbone, it was time to grab your coat and purse, leave your apartment, and meet Satoru at the nice Italian restaurant in town.
Living in a safe, walkable town had its perks, certainly. But with every step you took, you couldn’t help but wonder if Satoru was just as nervous as you.
The sheer panic you felt — it made you want to cancel.
After all, he was handsome. He was the world’s strongest sorcerer, even if he was out of practice. He was the father to your boy. He had memories of you that he was looking to recapture or recreate — the pressure of it all didn’t help ease your misplaced guilt.
The incident wasn’t your fault, but even so, that familiar lump formed in your throat and couldn’t be swallowed down.
Your nerves didn’t begin to settle until you walked into the romantic, warmly, yet lowly lit restaurant and spotted Satoru.
When he smiled at you, it felt . . . familiar.
A wave of calmness washed over you, and you exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
As you made your way to your table — Satoru getting up to pull out your chair for you, like the gentleman he was — you were feeling relaxed.
You couldn’t recall any specific memory, but somehow, you remembered that you had done this a hundred times with him.
Dinner began with a complimentary bread basket and nervous compliments being exchanged.
Five minutes in, you smiled softly at your lost lover.
“So, what was our very first date like when we were younger?”
Your question made Satoru smile too. He took a sip of his water, glancing at the white tablecloth as his mind wondered back to the sweet, cherished memory.
“It was similar to this, kinda. We had dinner together. It was an Italian restaurant as well, but it wasn’t nearly as nice. You, uh, you wore red then too. I remember you saying that you wanted Alfredo, but you ordered spaghetti in case you spilled it on your clothes.”
The look of love in his eyes as he spoke about the past made your heart skip a beat.
“Oh, I get it,” you nodded slowly. “Red sauce would blend in with the red clothes. Seems like something I’d say. I can’t believe you can remember something like that.”
“What’s funny is that I was the one who ended up spilling something,” Satoru paused. “I knocked over the bread basket when I was reaching for my drink.”
“Really?“ leaning forward a bit, your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke. “For a guy with the four-eyes thing, you’re pretty clumsy.”
“Six Eyes, and I’m not that clumsy. I was just nervous. Even now, years later, you still make me nervous.”
You leaned back in your seat. Your eye glistened with a peculiar kind of sadness — an expression that Satoru didn’t recognize.
“No need to be nervous,” slowly, your beautiful smile faded away. “I’m down one finger and an eye, and this facial scar isn’t doing me any favors. I’m not worth all the effort and worry.”
Satoru stared at you.
A look of insecurity. That was your unfamiliar expression.
He furrowed his brows, the corners of his mouth drawn downward as he put his laminated menu on the table.
“You decided to quit being a sorcerer the minute you found out that you were pregnant with Ren, but before that, you and I went on a mission together to exercise some curses inside of a mall. It wasn’t an easy mission either. I was exhausted, and you were injured. A curse was about to attack you — you had your back turned, trying to treat a civilian’s wound — and I jumped in the way to save your life.” Satoru started to fiddle with the cloth napkin lying next to his menu. “I was fine. I killed the curse. But you were angry with me for getting in harm’s way. You said to me then what you just said now — that you aren’t worth the effort and worry. And that’s not true at all. You’re worth everything to me.”
“You saved my life once?” The sad gaze in your eye softened into a look of pure admiration. “That’s so . . . I mean . . . until recently, my entire life has revolved around my son and my coffee shop. And then you appeared, along with these old friends I can’t remember having, and now I’m always hearing wild stories about me fighting curses and being madly in love with you. It’s crazy.”
You couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe another human being loved you this much, in such a romantic way.
The waitress appeared — a kind woman with red hair who jotted down your orders in a tiny notepad. You ordered pasta, and Satoru couldn’t help but smile.
Certain aspects of you have changed forever, but some things still stayed the same.
Once the waitress walked away with your noted order of fettuccine alfredo and his order of ravioli, you shifted in your seat, sighing softly.
“I have another question, and I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a while.” Cluelessly, you blinked at Satoru. “What was our marriage like?”
Satoru’s blue eyes shifted away from yours. Truth be told, he considered lying for a moment.
“It was perfect. We were perfect,” he would have said. “I was always there, and we were always happy.”
He could see the satisfied grin on your face now.
But he couldn’t lie to you. If he won your heart back with a string of lies, he would never forgive himself.
The honest truth wasn’t the perfect fairytale love story that you both would have hoped for, but it was good enough, as what really mattered — what was undoubtedly the most important thing — was that you both loved each other deeply.
“We were pretty young when we got married,” Satoru started, staring at you. “We were young when we did everything, actually. Not just getting married, but moving in together and starting a family too. All we knew was that we wanted to be together. We had movie and dinner nights every other Saturday, but it was hard being a husband, father, and sorcerer. I was away often, and you were always worried about whether or not I’d make it home. You wanted me to quit, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t think anything bad would ever happen to me, and I needed to protect non-sorcerers and mentor my students. It got to a point where I started to miss important events, and you weren’t happy with me. I wasn’t happy with myself either. My very last mission was a few weeks before Christmas. You begged me not to go because you said you had a terrible feeling about it. I just thought that you wanted me to stay home for our holiday traditions. We got into a big argument that night, and I left anyway, telling you that I’d be home before Christmas Day. I felt horrible about it, so I finished up my mission quickly and came home about two weeks early to surprise you. That was when the incident happened.”
Your initial silence made Satoru worry. He looked at you, trying to read the look on your face — attempting to stare into your visible eye and take a peek inside of your brain and see what thoughts were circulating in there.
The quietness was deafening. It was almost worse than you saying that you were no longer interested in rekindling your love, because the silence provided no answers. No closure.
Satoru started to involuntarily shake his leg underneath the table. He so desperately wanted a drink.
“Oh. . .” You finally spoke up, but your empty words, ridden with disappointment, offered little relief.
“I’m sorry,” Satoru said softly, briefly staring down at his half-empty water, the dots of condensation among the glass dripping onto the white tablecloth. “I know it’s not . . . I’m probably not what you were hoping for, but I loved you more than anything. Please believe that.”
Suddenly, that soft smile that Satoru once fell in love with reappeared on your face. Reaching across the table, you grabbed ahold of his hand — the one that was fidgeting with the napkin. You ran your thumb across his fingers.
“Satoru, if there’s one thing that my condition has taught me, it’s that the past doesn’t matter as much as we think it does. I just wanted to know because of plain curiosity, okay? I’m interested in our future and the man you are now.”
This time, following a small sigh of relief, Satoru was the one who smiled. It was the grin that you once fell in love with, even if you couldn’t remember ever doing so.
The date was filled with soft laughter, delicious pasta, and heartwarming stories.
You and Satoru sat at the dining table long after your meals were eaten and paid for. As the hours flew by, other couples and families coming and going, you both didn’t leave until the employees started stacking chairs and mopping the floors.
Together, you both walked down the street of your cozy little town, grinning down at your shoes stepping on the fallen orange and brown leaves covering the sidewalk.
“So, where’s Ren? Is he at home or . . . ?” Satoru questioned.
“He’s sleeping over at his friend’s house.” You put your hands in the pockets of your jacket. “That reminds me. He came up with an idea the other night, and I wanted to run it by you.”
“What is it?”
“A family dinner,” you glanced up at Satoru. “Just us three, sitting around a table, all having a meal together. The whole domestic vibe. What do you think?”
“I’d love that.” With a smile, Satoru started to blush a little.
“Okay, great. I’m thinking seafood, maybe? Hm . . . I don’t know. Kinda don’t feel like dealing with an apartment that smells like shrimp and crab. You know what? I’ll just open a window and spray some Febreze, it’ll be fine. Seafood it is. You’re not allergic, are you?”
Listening to you ramble made Satoru’s heart pound rapidly. It made him want to kiss you and mourn your lost years. But he couldn’t let on the effect that you had on his mind, body, and soul, even if you knew how he felt.
He had to keep all of that inside and remind himself that to you, he wasn’t the love of your life, but a mere friend.
“I’m not allergic. I love seafood, or all kinds of food, really.” Satoru glanced up at the stars for a moment, thinking about how over the last few years, eating was a chore. He went from being a food lover to a man who had to be forced to eat. But now that you reappeared back into his life, so had his love of all things sweet, spicy, and savory.
You brought back the parts of him that were human.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Satoru suddenly spoke up.
“Of course.”
“Have you . . . had any other partners? Since the incident?”
Your shoulder gently bumped against his arm as you both walked. Based on the tone of his voice, he hadn’t asked you that question out of jealousy per se, but curiosity.
“A few, but nothing that lasted very long. Mostly fantasy-obsessed weirdos who just wanted to brag about dating someone who wears an eyepatch, like I’m a fictional character or a damn pirate or something. But, uh, what about you?”
Satoru laughed a bit, but not humorously.
“Nope. I could barely function like a normal human being, let alone be in a relationship.”
He didn’t mean to make that burden of guilt reappear.
Catching a glimpse of you staring at the ground, he opened his mouth to apologize, but you started to speak before he could do so.
“I hate knowing that I caused you so much pain. I should have done something. I should have never let the higher-ups force me to start a new life, or at least, I should have tried to figure out who Ren’s father was. I’m sorry.”
Satoru grabbed your hand. He didn’t think it through — didn’t pause to wonder if such a display of affection was okay, but you didn’t seem to mind. Your warm fingers curled around his.
He couldn’t wait to tell Kento about it.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, okay?” Satoru stared at you, paying no mind to anything that might have been in front of his walking path. “I picked working for people who would destroy my life at any given chance over my own family. None of this would have happened if I had been home like I should’ve been. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
At this hour, all of the small, local businesses were closed, cute little brown buildings showcasing nothing but darkness when you glanced through their windows as you strolled by.
However, one place was still open.
It was the bar.
Walking past it, you held Satoru’s hand a little tighter.
The white-haired man couldn’t see it, but as he made his way by the entrance doors, the bartender could see his former customer walking by with a small, sober grin.
The bartender smiled to himself as he washed a glass.
He was incredibly happy for that man, and he hoped to never get another dollar from him again.
“So what happens now?” Your sudden question made Satoru hum in response and tilt his head a bit. Continuing, you asked, “Are you going to go back to being a sorcerer?”
“No,” Satoru shook his head. “I passed the torch on to my students a while ago, and I think they’ll be just fine.”
As you both unhappily arrived closer and closer to your apartment, a sad frown appeared on Satoru’s face. He didn’t want the date to end. He wanted to keep walking with you forever.
Letting you go with the promise of seeing you again soon never came easy after the incident.
Your footsteps clicked against the hard ground as you made your way to your front door. With a shy smile, you turned and faced the white-haired man.
“Thanks for walking me home. I’d invite you inside, but it’s getting late, and I have to head to my coffee shop in the morning. I was able to get a few bookshelves put in. Can you believe it?” Digging through your purse for your house keys, you smiled at Satoru. “I just gotta spend my Sunday actually putting books on the shelves now before we open on Monday. Boxes are sitting everywhere right now.”
“I’m happy for you,” Satoru said. He couldn’t help but wonder if this newfound passion for books, coffee, and entrepreneurship came after the incident, or if you were always interested in such things, and he never noticed.
He would have bought you a two-story bookstore and coffee shop years ago if that was the case. Was that always your dream and you kept it hidden from him? Why? Did it have anything to do with having to raise Ren and run the house while Satoru was off fighting curses and training his students?
He wanted to ask — and he almost did, his lips parting a bit — but he knew you wouldn’t remember. You wouldn’t have an answer.
“You should stop by sometime!” Your smile brightened. “Do you like coffee? You seem like the kinda guy who’d like something on the sweeter side . . . a mocha, maybe?”
Satoru couldn’t help but lovingly mimic your bright smile, his eyes flickering from your eye to your lips, and his heart skipped a beat.
Most people would assume that a guy like Satoru hated sweets. Back when he was a sorcerer, others figured that he avoided sweets and sugary things to keep himself as healthy as possible. Truthfully, though, he was the kind of person who would have dessert for every meal if he could. Both because it helped energize his overactive mind, and because he simply had a sweet tooth.
But you knew.
Was it something you remembered, or was it nothing more than a lucky guess?
Satoru couldn’t say. You couldn’t say.
However, no one could deny that your old personality was starting to return while in his presence. You had never known yourself to be the kind of person to ramble on and on, but here you were, spending your night talking so much that your jaw had started to ache.
After one proper evening together, the gorgeous man was bringing out a side of you that you had never known — or, perhaps, had forgotten.
“You could serve me a cup of toilet water and I’d drink it,” Satoru said with a gentle, brief chuckle. “But yeah, I have a sweet tooth.”
“So I was right.” You paused. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.”
The smile on his face faltered as uncertainty flooded his mind, as he didn’t know how to properly say goodbye. You held hands earlier, and you had hugged once before, but should he initiate one now? Should he shake your hand? No . . . too professional. The last thing he wanted was for your reblossoming relationship to amount to that of a business transaction.
He decided to play it safe. He mumbled a quick goodnight, gave you a soft smile, and started to walk away.
“Wait,” you called out.
With a little hum of confusion, his brows raising slightly, he turned and faced you.
Reaching up, your hands gripped his shoulder, pulling the taller man down a bit before planting a soft kiss on his cheek, which instantly reddened the second your lips came in contact with his soft skin.
“Goodnight,” you mumbled.
When your face was still a whisper away from his own, Satoru kissed your cheek back.
It was a subconscious act — as natural breathing. You’d kiss his cheek, and he’d kiss yours back.
“You used to kiss my cheek all the time.” He pulled away from you, blushing.
“Really?” You wrapped your fingers around your house key, turning towards your door briefly to place it in the lock. Looking back at him as you twisted it, you said, “That’s probably why I wanted to do it now. It just felt right, I guess. I don’t normally kiss my dates on the cheek.”
“Right, well,” Satoru, once again, started to walk away. “Goodnight.”
That night — after soaking in the bathtub and texting Satoru to make sure he got home safely, although you felt silly doing so, being that he was the most powerful man in the world — you rested your head against your pillow and started to drift off to sleep.
In that state, in which it felt as if your mind, body, and soul were stuck somewhere between falling asleep and staying awake, Satoru’s face appeared in your mind.
Only — he was younger.
He wore dark sunglasses, and a dorky smile, cheeks pink as he blushed . . .
“Y/N!” He called out, waving for you to come over and join him where he stood in a shady spot underneath a big tree.
As you approached him, the cocky teenager put his hands in the pockets of his school uniform, trying his hardest to seem cool and calm. But despite his best efforts, he was still a blushing mess.
“Hey,” you greeted politely, smiling up at your tall classmate. “Everything alright? I’m gonna be late for training.”
“Y-Yeah,” he awkwardly cleared his throat following his stutter — which made him wish that the ground would somehow open up and swallow him whole to ease his embarrassment. “I just . . . wanted to say hi. I’m sorry I didn’t call you after our date. Well, I did, but I hung up before you answered because I got nervous. Not-not that I normally get nervous or anything, I’m pretty chill, but it was late and I didn’t know if you wanted to talk, or if you’d think I was weird for calling you after we had just hung out. I’m not weird, I promise. I’m not as cocky as everyone says I am, either. I’m just a normal person. You’re not, though. I-I mean, you’re normal, but you’re really strong and pretty, you know what I mean? So, uh . . . yeah.”
An amused grin appeared on your face. Meanwhile, Satoru’s own face reddened even more with every shaky word he spoke. The gifted sorcerer couldn’t look you in the eye.
“You’re adorable,” you chuckled softly, watching as he fidgeted around, unable to stand still in your presence. “And it’s okay. You make me kinda nervous too.”
Your eye darted away from him. Satoru glanced down at your hand and saw that you were fiddling with the end of your sleeve.
“Do you wanna go out with me again?” Satoru’s words were rushed, rolling off of his tongue and falling from between his lips much quicker than he wanted.
“I’d love to.” Your sweet smile made Satoru’s heart skip a beat. Glancing down at your watch, you said, “I gotta go, but maybe we can have lunch together tomorrow. Diner down the street?”
“Okay, that’s cool,” Satoru couldn’t fight the urge to grin, his cheeks starting to burn. “I’ll see you later.”
You started to walk away, but suddenly, your footsteps came to a halt. Turning back around to face a puzzled Satoru, you approached him once again, motioned for him to lean down, and you planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Bye,” you grinned.
Satoru couldn’t speak. Your lips touching his red, blushy cheek had seized his ability to communicate like a normal human being. His body froze, his throat dried to a crisp, and his overactive mind was incapable of forming a coherent thought.
As he watched you start to walk away, eventually snapping out of his trance, he shouted, “Wait!”
The happy teenager leaned down and quickly kissed your cheek. Then, he ran off to locate his best friend, Suguru Geto, eager to tell the dark-haired boy about the heartwarming interaction he just had with the woman he was certain he’d marry someday.
— THURSDAY —
Less than a week has passed since your wonderful evening with Satoru. During that time, your coffee shop was now a fully operational bookstore as well. You and Satoru stayed in your shop well past closing hours, sipping on beverages and chatting. On Tuesday night, you, him, and Ren enjoyed seafood and board games.
It was wonderful.
Spending time with him often led to dreams when your eye fluttered shut and the moon was shining through your curtains.
However, the dreamlike images of that beautiful man didn’t feel like dreams at all.
And your therapist agreed.
She suggested that, perhaps, they were memories.
But there was only one way to truly differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t.
And that was by asking Satoru. Only he could tell you if the beautiful scenarios that appeared were missing pieces of a life you had forgotten.
That Thursday, the setting sun began to darken the baby blue sky, and faint stars appeared above the school in which a science fair was taking place.
In the big school gym, several students had their artistic projects on display for judges and parents to walk around and admire. Ren and Mae had created a presentation about power and electricity.
He looked so proud as he stood there, pointing at several different wires surrounded by Mae’s detailed drawings of lightning bolts, explaining the scientific process to curious guests.
However, what he was proud of more than anything was his mother and father, who stood behind the group of judges and parents and snapped pictures of him. The young boy would occasionally dart his eyes away from the crowd of strangers admiring his presentation and smile at his parents.
He had two of them.
A mother and a father.
Later on, as the judges gathered to discuss the winners of the science fair, Ren walked off to chat with his group of friends. While everyone had to create a project for a class grade, submitting it to the science fair was completely optional. Only true science-loving geniuses took it that far. Even so, Ren’s friends — the ones who attended his birthday party — all showed up to support him. They didn’t know a thing about science beyond what they could scribble on a ripped sheet of paper and hide under their sleeves during tests, but they knew one thing: they wanted to be there for your boy.
Approaching Satoru with a white paper cup of water, you smiled at him softly.
“Hey, do you have a minute? Can we talk outside?”
“Of course,” Satoru matched your smile with a grin of his own. Even if he was busy, he’d make time for you now. Always.
Walking through the see-through doors and stepping outside into the darkening surroundings was a nostalgic experience. It was an entirely different school, but hearing crickets chirp and seeing families walking home after their own events ended as the falling sun finished off another beautiful day reminded Satoru of your after-class walks from way back when.
He faced you with a look of curiosity.
“What’s up?”
“I was just wondering . . . do you remember what our second date might have been like?”
Satoru’s eyes darted up at the stars for a moment — he remembered, of course.
“Uh, yeah. I’m pretty sure I remember every date. Why?”
“Just curious,” you lied. The last thing you wanted to do was give him hope that your memory was returning, only for it to turn out to be nothing more than a pointless dream.
“We planned it right when we saw each other in person again after our first date. I was nervous and apologetic about not calling you the night before — either I was nervous or I forgot, I’m not sure — but we went to a nearby diner, one close to the school.”
You shifted your stance a bit, much too excited to stand completely still. Could it have been a coincidence?
“I think I might have remembered that.” As you spoke, Satoru’s eyes widened. “I had a dream — or I thought it was a dream, but it felt too real. We were standing outside of a school, wearing uniforms. We were both still so nervous around each other, but you were rambling a bunch, and . . . I’ve just been having a lot of similar dreams like that lately. To know that they actually might have been memories . . . I can’t believe it.”
“Wh-What else do you remember? What were the other dreams about?”
You went on to describe what you had seen.
Satoru’s eyes started to water as you recalled some of your shared memories. The stars appearing in the sky above seemed brighter.
Although you couldn’t remember everything, for now, it was enough.
“I know it’s not a lot, but those little memories are something I’ll hold onto forever. Some of them came back, and I don’t plan on letting them go anytime soon,” you said. “I might not remember our first kiss or every anniversary, but I’m starting to remember how it felt to love you.”
Satoru’s world stopped. It was a feeling similar to the day he first found you and Ren at that one grocery store.
It was a combination of shock and love running through his veins.
Satoru’s large hands cupped your cheeks. Slowly, he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours.
Satoru lost you once. Then, you reappeared. However, kissing you softly, yet passionately in this moment is what led Satoru’s soul to believe that he had finally found you.
Your sweet lips moved against his with a familiar pattern one would only have while kissing their soulmate. Even if your mind had forgotten much, your soul knew. It just knew.
The entrance doors belonging to the school opened and closed. Parents were heading back inside after ending phone calls or smashing their cigarette butts because the awards ceremony was about to start according to their watches.
Sadly, you and Satoru had to pull away, breathlessly, though, and after reuniting for two or three more little kisses.
“I’m starting to get jealous of the old me who used to kiss you like that every day,” your beaming smile was too cute.
“No reason to be jealous, you can still do it every day if you want to,” Satoru’s face was only inches away from yours as he spoke.
“Well, come on, let’s go see if our boy won first place. We can talk about our new every day later,”you said, grabbing ahold of Satoru’s hand.
You led him back into the school, where Ren would later accept his first-place trophy.
As the three of you celebrated his victory — together, as it should be — being a family started to become your new every day.
— TWO YEARS LATER —
White dresses and fancy cakes were on your mind, the old, sweet memory of walking down the aisle, glancing up at your teary-eyed husband, had recently come back to you in great detail.
You could taste the classic vanilla cake flavor on your tongue. Smell the special cologne Satoru wore that day. Feel the swaying rhythm of the song played during your first dance.
Today, as you drove your thirteen-year-old to school with him in the passenger seat — the middle school was too far of a walk compared to the elementary school — you touched the knob of your radio and turned up the music a few notches.
“What song is this?” Ren questioned, listening to the unfamiliar ballad.
“I think it’s a song from my wedding. I’ll have to ask Satoru later.”
Ren smiled. Another potential memory was unlocked.
“I’m also hoping he can take you to get a haircut tomorrow because I gotta-”
“Whaaat? No, Mom, no haircut, okay?”
“Since when do you not like haircuts?” You made a swift right turn as you spoke.
Ren scratched the side of his white hair, feeling his growing strands.
“I’m trying to grow it out until it looks like Dad’s, so not too long, but a little longer than it is now. Plus, Mae said that she likes longer hair. Oh, and can you take us to the movies Friday? I forgot to ask earlier.”
“Sure,” you agreed with a soft smile.
Your son and Mae had officially been dating for about a year, and it was beyond adorable.
Turning into the drop-off lane in front of the school, you pulled Ren’s packed lunch out of the backseat, along with his backpack. He was a growing boy — a realization that brought both you and Satoru to tears — and, naturally, his stomach was a bottomless pit right now.
“Bye Mom,” Ren started to open his car door but paused. “By the way, I hope you and Dad get remarried soon.”
And with that final thought, he closed the door and limped away.
Three days later, Satoru proposed.
Just like he once did years ago, Kento helped him out with planning the details of a perfect proposal.
It was in a beautiful, forestry area lit up with fairy lights — a gorgeous local walking trail you both strolled down together often.
He got down on one knee. Pulled out a mesmerizing ring. Cheeks red from being nervous, an emotion only you could bring out of the extroverted man.
There was no greater joy than when you wrapped your arms around him after saying yes.
God, he loved you. He loved you, and he loved you.
And, once again, you had promised to spend the rest of your life with him, because, god, you loved him. You loved him, and you loved him.
Satoru kissed you deeply after you accepted his proposal, tears streaming down his face.
“This ring isn’t just an engagement ring.” Satoru’s lips hovered over yours as he whispered, “It’s also a promise ring, too. Because I promise you that I’ll be the husband you deserve this time around. You were always so scared back then of falling in love with someone you could lose, and I’m letting you know now that I’m here, and you’ll never lose me to anything, especially a career path. You couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried.”
“Don’t worry, the past doesn’t define us as much as we think it does, trust me. You, me, and Ren are going to be just fine, okay?” You ran your thumb across his blushing cheek. He was so beautiful. “Let’s just focus on our future. On our every day.”
Satoru kissed you softly, mumbling a subtle, “Okay.”
He had his worries, but whenever your lips touched his cheek, and his lips touched your cheek, he had a gut feeling that, perhaps, everything would be alright.
— DECADES LATER —
“This color looks pretty, Grandma.”
Your eldest granddaughter gently rubbed one of her favorite lipsticks across your lips. “Brings out your eyes.”
“I only have one, honey, but thank you.”
Softly, she laughed. Growing up, she loved hearing the made-up stories about how you got your eyepatch. You being a pirate on an adventure to save captured mermaids was her favorite tale as a child.
She was Ren’s and Mae’s firstborn, the oldest amongst their three children, and the only girl. Your granddaughter was sweet and kind enough to help you get ready for a family brunch.
Ren, who was in his forties now, stepped through the front door of his lovely home with his wife and two sons.
He walked into the living room and greeted you briefly as he kissed your forehead before heading into the kitchen and sitting down a big brown bag filled with groceries.
Then, several more kisses followed from your fellow cherished family members.
You smiled with pride. Ren was a successful surgeon who married his childhood sweetheart and had created a beautiful family.
Suddenly, you frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Your youngest grandson asked, tilting his head a bit.
“Where’s Satoru?”
You glanced around for your husband. You missed him. Where did he go?
Your granddaughter held your hand.
“He’s in the bathroom, remember? He left a few minutes ago. He’ll be right back.”
You gave an unsatisfied nod.
Memory loss has always been a struggle for your entire life. Be it object permanence as a baby, amnesia as an adult, or plain ‘ole forgetfulness as an elder.
But at least you remembered love.
That much was obvious when Satoru returned to the living room, eyes crinkly as he smiled, and your mood suddenly changed into complete and utter happiness.
“You look pretty,” Satoru ran his hand across your cheek. “That’s lipstick, hm?”
“Brings out my eye,” you joked.
As Satoru took a seat next to you on the couch, Mae shouted from the kitchen, “Hey, come help us.”
Your three grandchildren left the living room to assist their parents, leaving you and Satoru alone to enjoy each other’s company by chatting and watching TV until brunch was ready.
He had his arm wrapped around you, his body heat warming your entire soul. There was no greater joy than being with him.
That night, you and Satoru were snuggled up underneath your thick comforter, facing each other in bed.
“After all these years, you still make me nervous,” Satoru said, staring into your eye, his cheeks becoming the faintest shade of pink.
With a warm smile, you slowly kissed Satoru’s cheek. He kissed yours.
You touched a strand of his gray hair. Then, your lovely, wrinkly fingers graced his cheek, the warm lighting from his bedside table lamp highlighting his aged, beautiful face.
“Thank you . . . for another great day, and for all the memories. I love you, Satoru.”
A little yawn escaped you. As you drifted off to sleep, Satoru mumbled, “I love you too, Y/N.”
In time, you will once again start to lose all of your memories. Slowly, it will all fade as you grow older and get closer to your impending demise. Satoru had grown to accept that expected outcome. However, this time around, if you passed on before the retired sorcerer, he wouldn’t be a sad man stuck in a bar, mourning. He would be at your bedside, holding your hand and kissing your cheek.
Then, he’d wait for the day in which he too would pass on and join you in the place of eternal happiness and rest, where, finally, both of your souls would be at peace after what happened.
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♡ — 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!
🏷: @sad-darksoul @sircatchungus @gojossocks @a-contemplation-upon-flowers @star-toruu @yobabymama @s7armin @minmin-minnie @jexx233 @roninishere @dreamsarenicer @starzcoffeelvr @delghoul @buttercupmuffins @dijaicar @tuliptoot @sweet-yzabelle @creative1writings @lympha @malikazz243 @bforbiblio @galagarts @enesitamor @luffysfav @chilichopsticks @misscellaneousisme @1plwushie @blackjou @gfmima @dazedflvr @safiest58ravenclaw @dyna-mights @honestlywtfisgoingon @pnkoo @levin4nami @frogtee @myhomeworksnotdone @ushygushybaby @wooasecret
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suguru-getos · 2 days
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Not sure if your requests are open or not, but if they are would you pretty please write a yandere Gojo who's darling is upset because he left her alone on her birthday to go "play" with his new best friend Geto instead? Like, he legit forgot it was anyone's birthday at all? But his darling tries to be sweet and understanding even though she's deeply hurt by him suddenly neglectjbg her so much? Pretty please and thank you. 😘🙏
Heyy!! I don’t take requests but I really like this prompt. Thanks for sending 🙇🏻‍♀️🩵 to be very honest Yandere Gojo would never forget his darling’s birthday. :DD Even normal Toru chan wouldn’t. ;))
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Warnings: Toxic Toru :(( // Reader doesn’t really love love him but is in a major Stockholm Syndrome typa-thang. Forced fluff, implied sexual thingys.
You sighed, it’s been long past twelve and out of all the people who have wished you yet, Satoru isn’t one of them. It hurts because he could have gotten super mad and punished you for forgetting his birthday. Coming up with excuses thar you forgot the one person’s special day who should be meaning the most to you. A shiver runs through your spine to imagine the extent of his rage if that were to happen. Is it because you’re powerless compared to him? Is that why he doesn’t care about you? Why else would he go around Geto Suguru and not you.
Satoru comes back around 2 am, a little tipsy but you know he’s a lightweight so he must’ve not drunk much. He watches your tired eyes draping his form and raises a brow. “Aww, how cute? My Princess stayed up for me? You wanted to sleep with me that bad sweetheart?” Your lip quivered at his familiar, patronizing tone. It was your birthday. Your birthday! God damn it!
You looked down, trying to form the right words. “Toru, s’ my birthday today. I waited for your wish.”
It’s like he’s been anchored by the feet at rock bottom sea. He can’t breathe — surely he must not — oh fuck! He did. He forgot his sweet princess’ birthday… shit! “Oh- oh no- I’m so sorry! Oh no-” his beefy arms are quick to wrap around you, hugging you snug against his chest. “Please baby, m’ sorry. You never make a biggie out of it so I forgot.” He pouted, kissing your forehead and stealing apologetic kisses. You gnaw at your lip and looked down. “It’s okay, Toru.” Oh he knows it’s not okay.
Part of him dreads that you’d leave him & he doesn’t want to, but he’s close to acting out. “Are you going to leave me because of it, Cupcake?” He asks tenderly, though you know better & you’ve learnt better. “N-no! Of course not Toru. I’d never leave you.” You shake your head no like a trained bobblehead. Satoru takes a sigh, six-eyes trying to find out any hidden intents behind your words.
He sighed with defeat, “Pretty girl, I know, that was so careless and bad of me. Really bad. Let me make it up to you? I’d let you meet your friends!” He chirped. To live under Gojo Satoru means to live under his wing & his wing alone. He couldn’t care less if you’re lonely. All the more reason to ensure that your world revolves around him, no?
“Come here.” He craddles you against his lap, kissing your knuckles, your chin, your forehead, leaning in and kissing your clothed breasts. With Satoru, you’d never know how things might turn sexual. You do resist this time though, you don’t have the emotional capacity to endure this & be treated like a toy.
“I’m sorry Toru, can’t.” You leaned away with a subtle flinch. His brows furrow at the rejection but he knows he’s fucked up. “Alright Baby girl. I wouldn’t. Ssh~ let me make it up.” His phone comes out & he orders a cake — of course he would know your favorite flavor by now. He grins wide. “Thank god it’s still night ~ Tomorrow, I’m going to make sure you forget my fuck up! I promise!” He sounds so determined it helps you to feel less shitty. However the neglect still seeps through. Maybe because you’ve been living with him that he’s taking you for granted.
A snap of fingers shoves your trail of thoughts astray. “Ssh~ eyes here, mind here.” Satoru cooes, cupping your face and leaning his forehead against yours. “You know I love you, right? To the point of insanity.” It’s when he starts to get serious that makes you uncomfortable. You squirm a little at his words, nodding meekly.
“Then stop thinking wild thoughts or Toru has to be mean to your meanie thoughts & you wouldn’t like it.” He says it in such a delirious baby-talking way it makes you choke out on any thoughts whatsoever anyway. “Y-yeah..”
You know Satoru will make a big deal out of your birthday tomorrow. Might as well enjoy, even if it’s forced.
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torubeth · 20 hours
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aren’t you going to write “degradation taken too far” but with satoru? 🫦😰😭
you asked for it babe; i didn’t wanna hurt yall gojo girlies (inc myself) but you want pain? ok. pain is what you get. warnings : (mature content 18+) smut, degradation, gojo being mean (yes it’s a warning), angst to comfort??and maybe have a tissue box or two????
‘look at the gorgeous mess that you are baby. never knew you’d fold this easy’ he remarks, lips trailing down your body, sucking violet coloured hickeys along the way.
‘satoru- i already told you that the last time, will be the last time! so why are you-!’ slowly but gently he slides in, a wave of contentment washing over you, immediately shutting you up.
‘hmm what was that? mind repeating it f’me sweetheart?’ he smirks.
you decided to stay quiet because what’s the use? you’re gonna end up with him on top you again. mostly tomorrow. and the day after that.
and that’s when you realise that the pace was starting to pick up and his hands were now on your clit, rubbing hard circles eliciting nothing but moans and whines from you.
‘satoru oh my god! shit, feel so good i feel like i’m gonna cum!’ you reach up to slither your arms around his shoulders, your breathy pants now right by ear.
‘toru agh! fuck fuck- i…i love you satoru, i love you so much! please, if you keep this up i might-’ suddenly with a roughness unknown to you, he pulls out.
‘wait wait wait, why’d you stop? i was so close-!’ you pant, leaning up on your elbows.
instantly, there was a shift in his aura.
‘love? you said love? what makes you think i will ever love someone like you? you’re just a hole to fuck. a passing cloud. something for me to do when i’m bored of my fucked up life. nothing more’ he erupts.
‘what?’ your voice was reduced to nothing but a whisper.
‘where in the wide wide vicinity of your fantasy land did you come up with ‘love’ ?’ he spat.
‘i mean seriously, you thought this was something-‘ he knew what he was saying was far from the truth.
why would he not love you? what is there not to love? if he knew what love meant, it’s because of you.
but you shouldn’t love him, but you do. why? why do you wanna be with him? why do you wanna be tied down to someone like him?
meanwhile your mind is racing with a million different thoughts, not knowing what or how to respond.
‘it’s best if you just leave’ he finishes.
you didn’t need to hear the entirety of his speech to know that you were…disposable? replaceable?
the dam breaks and tears stream down your cheeks, eyes red and body trembling. you gather of what’s left of your heart and face him ‘this really is the last time’ you whisper, meaning every word, clutching hard at the sheets for some kind of comfort, without breaking the eye contact.
that’s when his eyes look at you.
your eyes. god, your eyes. they were one of the reasons he fell in love with you. they were fierce, beautiful and always on him. but now they were broken, filled with pain and tears, still beautiful and held nothing but ache.
next was your lips he loved kissing so much. his personal favourite, was always ready to put him in his place and bring him to his knees. now they were trembling. in hate, or fear? he thinks he doesn’t really wanna know the reason behind that.
taking a deep breath, he steeled his nerves because there was no going back now. the cat and mouse chase ends here.
suddenly, a huge wave of warmth enveloped you and it took you mere two seconds to realise that he was hugging you, and hardly a second for you to come to the realisation that you would never push him away.
‘i want you to know that you mean so much to me. a while ago my world was nothing but dark, but you came painted it all, giving meaning to each and every little thing in it. i deserve to rot in hell cuz fuck, i didn’t mean a word of what came out of my mouth’ and that’s when you felt little drops on your neck.
never once has he cried in front of you, always going on about how ‘the strongest never cry’
‘you mean the world to me baby. when you told me you loved me, i was brain dead. never knew i was capable of being loved by someone like you. i mean, why would you love someone like me? all my versions are nothing but a wretched mess, so why would you-?’
pulling back to look at him, your eyes are stern when you tell him-
‘you are actually an idiot if you think i care about any of that’ wiping away this tears, your hands rest against his cheeks.
‘i want all your versions satoru. flaws and all. i want them to course through my veins. i want you in all my mornings and all my nights. i want you everywhere. and if you’re going down, i’m willing to go down with you. so please, please don’t push me away’ you said because loving him was as easy as breathing, your eyes once again starting to tear up.
and that was the confirmation he needed, as he leaned down ‘i love you, i love you so much. i fucking love you’ chanting over and over again. pressing kisses everywhere. your nose, lips, cheeks, forehead, everywhere.
‘i adore you and i promise to cherish you like you deserve till we’re old and wrinkly’ he bumps his nose against yours, earning a small laugh from you.
‘i know you will satoru’ you whisper, bumping his nose in return ‘i will love you till we’re old wrinkly too’
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B-urn
Tags : Fluff then Angst, Smitten Gojo Satoru x F!Reader :), Gojo as a hateful dad, character death.
A/N : I've had enough of soft dad Gojo Satoru, I need some hateful dad Gojo Satoru or something similar to it at least.
WC : 1.7k
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1 " Hey 'toru, Get some peaches on your way back. " " Hey, honey. "
"You're crazy," you whisper speechlessly, pushing a strand of wet hair off your eyes and gazing blankly at Satoru kneeling on the tiled floor with a velvet box in his hand, encasing a sparkly ring inside- both his and your birthstones, you notice.
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But one thing's for sure, I never thought I wanted to settle down. But now...now I just can't imagine a future without you," Satoru starts, you've never seen him so genuine of his feelings, so innocently vulnerable like he's gonna shatter if you say no.
"So please, answer my question. Can I marry you and make myself the happiest man to have ever lived?" He continues, gentler this time. You bite your bottom lip, holding a sob back as you nod, too afraid that you'll fall apart if you speak. You nod once again, feeling warmth envelop your skin as Satoru throws himself at you and peppers your face with kisses- 'Thank you's' and 'I love you's' slipping out his mouth like butter on a heated pan as he slips the ring on your finger.
You clear your throat, backing away as you look at the ring glint under the light with a smile," it's beautiful, Satoru. I love it but next time, please don't propose to me in the bathroom when I'm fresh out of the shower," you say with a wide grin on your face, tugging the towel around you to secure its position again. Satoru responds with a huge grin of his own, pulling you close and nuzzling your neck," Couldn't wait for tonight's date, I've waited long enough for this," he mumbles, placing soft kisses against your damp skin.
"Tha-," he shuts you up with his lips, "Okay, fine. Sorry, I'll keep the destination in mind next time," he apologizes with a sheepish grin but you know better than that, he's not the least bit sorry.
2 " I'm going shopping with your mum for my wedding dress today, I might be a little late. " " I hope you're doing fine "
The wedding was perfect from start to finish, the Gojo clan doing all the grunt work while the two of you made the final call at the end. Everything was perfect for Satoru, especially you. He even tears up a little when he watches you walk down the aisle towards him- muted giggles echoing in the enclosed wedding hall at his reaction. He had his blindfold removed for the day despite the fact that the shards of decorated glass and bright lights irritated his six eyes, a small sacrifice for the greater good.
The greater good being getting a better look at you, every blemish, every scar and every battle wound peeking out of your wedding dress was perfection to him. His heart tap-dancing in his chest when he meets your eyes, absolutely smitten for the look of pure joy in your face when your father finally rests your hand on Satoru's and the officiant starts the wedding, his words falling on deaf ears when Satoru chooses to gaze at you with adoration in his eyes instead.
Popping out of his reverie when your sparkling eyes meets his and a smile tugs at your lips," You're supposed to say 'I do' now," you whisper, squeezing his hand. "I do," his voice rings, loud and clear, squeezing your hand back after you do the same.
"You may kiss the bride." Finally.
"My wife," he thinks to himself happily before pulling you in and crushing your lips against his, the cheers from the crowd gradually turning into background noise, getting lost in the feeling of your warmth against his. He breaks the kiss only when thunder erupts and the pitter-patter of the rain starts loud and ominously, he turns and looks at you worriedly only to be left surprised when you look back at him with delight.
"Looks like even the heavens are blessing our wedding now," you hum, pulling him by the arm towards the door to the large balcony. Pushing the door open and dragging him towards the middle of the open balcony with a grin, the heavy rain immediately drenching the two of you- you let go of his arm, turning to face him with a hand held out," Can I have this dance?" a teasing grin on your face, Satoru swears his heart actually stopped for a second; grabbing hold of your hand, he places a quick kiss on your knuckles," gladly."
Gently swaying in the rain to the music drifting from the wedding hall, Satoru couldn't be happier. He's the happiest man to have ever lived when in your arms.
3 " 'll make breakfast tomorrow though, you want anything? " " I'm not sure if I told you this enough but "
Getting pregnant 3 years after your marriage wouldn't have been a surprising thing but it was for the two of you considering the fact that you went at it like rabbits. You wanted kids, he didn't, heirs and other matters be damned. He wanted you to himself for as long as possible, hoard your attention and love for as long as he could before you finally put your foot down.
The dreaded day arrived sooner than he liked, he'd have preferred another 7 years alone with you but you didn't give in this time. Adamant on bearing his child and starting a family, how could he ever say no to you? So he gives in and fucks you with a new goal in mind- getting you pregnant with his child.
Two weeks later, your breathe hitches as you look at the stick in your hand- you're pregnant. Excited squeals gushing out of you, you rush out the bathroom and to the shared master bedroom where you hold the pregnancy test up at Satoru's face. He looks at you with mild shock in his face," already?" He asks softly, taking the stick from your hand and looking at it blankly, sitting down on the edge of the bed besides him, you nod excitedly," We're gonna be parents, s'toru!"
Before you know it, he throws the test aside on the floor, pulling you in his arms and crushing you under his weight as he presses kisses all over your flushed face," we're gonna be parents!" You giggle, hands cupping his cheeks to slow down the barrage of kisses. Satoru still wasn't really sure about the idea of a child yet but your joy at the thought of it was enough for him to push that idea aside, what you wanted was what he wanted, it's a universal rule.
"We gotta celebrate this now, don't we?" He mumbles, hands slowly sliding under your shirt with a smirk, earning him a swat against his chest. "Gosh, you're disgusting," you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and pulling him in. "And you love me for it, Mama," he coos, pressing a light kiss at the corner of your lips- your heart swells at the thought of being a mother, you were finally gonna start a family of your own with the man you love, life couldn't get any better.
4 " It might rain today so call me when you're done, okay? I'll come pick you up. " " I love you so much "
Fear and respect, two sides of the same coin, was easy to come by when it came to Gojo Satoru, hating even easier but what was hard was loving him, harder than it should be- Loving him was like climbing up a snowy mountain with nothing but a fork, Loving him was like crossing the seven seas with only a raft, Loving him was like trying to figure out what to do with a beloved china bowl that got smashed into pieces. It was nigh impossible to love him, anyone who did try gave up halfway through, only leaving him worse still. But everything changed once you came along.
You didn't climb the snowy mountain with a fork, not at all. You just waited long enough for a ski lift to be built for skiing enthusiasts and then took the lift yourself. You gave him time to adapt, time to breathe before finally making your way through the icy remnants of his scarred heart.
You didn't travel the seven seas with a raft, not at all. You just sold the raft and bought yourself a ticket for a worldwide cruise, enjoying every single moment on the long trip back to him. You gave him patience and waited happily for him to come around.
You didn't just accept your fate to pick the broken china pieces and throw it in the bin, not at all. You just gently assembled it and glazed it with lacquer, painstakingly painting over every crack with gold. You didn't fix him, you just accepted all of his broken pieces, that's all - the rest he did it himself.
It wasnt the fact that you took the easy way out, not at all. It was the fact that you put the effort to think about ways to love him- It was always hard to love Satoru, you just made it easy. So if someone asks Satoru why he loves you so, all he does is smile and answers " no reason at all." He just loves everything about you, he doesn't need a reason to do so.
5 " You don't sound so well, is everything okay? " " More than you could ever know "
20 weeks, 5 months, into your pregnancy and Satoru's already starting to feel uneasy, the change is small, unnoticeable to the normal eye even. But the change is there, his six eyes catching everything. You've gotten weaker, not externally per se but internally. He brings it up once when the two of you cuddle in the bed, you laugh and brush it off by saying," it's only natural." He's not convinced but he doesn't push it, opting to graze the curve of your cheek instead.
Something was really wrong, very, very wrong- You've been rapidly losing weight, the complete opposite of what should be happening. The growing baby bump only makes you grow thinner, finding it hard to even do the basic things, having to rely on Satoru for everything. He'd have been delighted on being relied on some other time but this time he's not, he's more concerned than anything.
The trip to the doctors doesnt change a single thing, every single one of them saying the same thing over and over and over again. "She's fine, just a rare case. It's better than it looks, 'ts just an uncommon case of weight loss during pregnancy." He swears its not, the very molecules that makes up you seems to be slowly but steadily gathering and surrounding one particular place, your belly but how could they know that? They were normal doctors, not some omniscient sorcerer like him.
So he grits his teeth, quietly holding your hand and holding onto his last hope, Shoko. Despite it not being her area of expertise, he can only hope for the best afterall she was a sorcerer too, she has to have the ability to figure it out...doesn't she? All hope comes crashing down when Shoko shakes her head, there was nothing wrong with you, the final verdict.
" I told you, didn't I? It's just an uncommon case, honey. You're too paranoid," you grin and tiredly pat his hand, boney fingers brushing against his. Your engagement ring and wedding ring hanging around a chain on your neck glistens blindingly under the stark hospital light- it became too loose to fit you anymore. Satoru feels slight prickles in his eyes from underneath the blindfold, he doesn't know why but he does. Forcing a tight smile at you, he nods," You might be right dear, but you know I can't help it when it comes to you," he mumbles, placing a chaste kiss on your knuckles to hide his falling smile. You chuckle lightly, flushing at the contact," You're such a silly man, 'toru. "
6 " Hmm? Oh I'm fine, don't worry. How's work though? " " And I swear I've tried, I really have "
Problems over problems befall, the number of curses quickly increasing exponentially with no rhyme or reason and the higher-ups pressuring him from all side was taking a toll on him, not to mention your declining health. You looked healthier now, taking the supplements that Shoko provided helped you not look like you were gonna fall dead at any given moment. A farce, Satoru notes, you're healthier on the outside, dying on the inside. He even contemplates getting rid of the thing inside you completely but as if like you read his mind, telepathically catching onto his thoughts, you become more protective.
Hands always wrapped around your belly and eyes instinctively following his every movement, always on sharp alert. Waiting for something to happen, you're not entirely sure for what but you wait. Catching onto your guarded attitude, Satoru drops the idea immediately. He doesn't want you to hate him, he'd die if you did and even he's not sure if he means it figuratively.
He makes sure to coo at your belly every night though, sure he doesn't want a child but that didn't mean he didn't feel any love for it despite the toll it took on you. He just hates it as a husband and loves it as a father- hates it even more as a lover. Hiding his slowly growing apprehension of the unborn child inside you with a mask of an excited father-to-be.
You know Satoru acts off this days especially when he interacts with the baby but you don't say anything, he's a busy man and you were currently out of service which meant double the work, you couldn't possibly have the right to ask him what's wrong, right?
7 " 'Toru, don't worry about me. I'm not mad, I promise. Just try to get your business trip finish a little faster okay? " " So please don't hate me too much "
You're a nervous wreck, anxiety fully settling deep in your bones despite the contractions. The pain was doing nothing to alleviate the turmoil inside you other than making it worse, 7 hours in after your water broke and Satoru is nowhere in sight- you're nervous, in pain and surrounded by strangers. Shoko was kicked out, 'only family members are allowed in' they said, despite your pleas they ignore you. They were gonna have hell to pay later until then you had to push through it by yourself, it couldn't possibly get any worse.
Biting down on your lips after screaming your throat hoarse, you squeeze your eyes shut, the salty taste of your tears mixing in with the metallic ones on your lips only making you want to gag. Slowly, loud words starts to blur and dim as your vision gets hazy, drifting in and out of your consciousness while barely catching sight of the figures hovering around you," I see the head!" One particularly loud statement snaps you back into reality, everything ending too quickly from there with still no sign of your husband anywhere.
With the first cry resounding in the room, your heart rate falls rapidly; the once searing pain only a throb now, a small respite but an unwelcoming one. You wish for the numbing chill to be replaced for the burning pain, praying for the latter if it meant that you could still breathe in the scent of his skin, still comb your fingers through arctic white hair, still stare into his cerulean blue eyes, still lay your head above hi- "I'm sorry" a hushed whisper in the chaos.
The high-pitched beeps flatlines, parallel lines all in all. The silence is too loud and the air too thick, working their way to restart a heart that's already dead and gone. Somewhere in the distance another heart drops, not with the promise of death but of something much worse. What use is a beating heart if the soul is already dead?
8 " I'm sorry I couldn't make it, I swear I tried " " But I can't do it "
Satoru doesn't hate her. No, he abhors her. The feeling of complete hatred and malice against an individual- every babble, every cry, every coo, her very existence disgusts him to the core. Somedays he just wants to snap her neck, it'd be so easy, so quick, so satisfying, so very dreadful. Somedays Satoru even considers it, his long slender fingers wrapping around her small sleeping figure and squeezing just a little, just a twitch but her eyes always flutters open, always gazes at him with a smile, always holds her chubby little arms out to him.
It's not her smile, her voice or his guilty conscience that stops him, it's her eyes. Your eyes. The curve, the shape, the color, the very crinkle reminds him of you, your eyes are staring back at him but it's not you. It'll never be you. Pulling his hand back like he got burned, he rushes out. It's what he always does these days, he runs and runs until he can't anymore, hoping that maybe somewhere along the way, he'll finally find you again.
You're so cruel and so very heartless, if you were gonna leave him in the end you should've never made him love you at all but you did, you did and he loves you. He loves you and you left.
Satoru is always bitter, maybe if she didn't have your eyes then maybe it'd be easier to get rid of her, maybe it'd be easier for him to move on. But you're always there, your first gift being her last saving grace. Your eyes, your first, your life, your last. Maybe you knew about it, you always did say that you wanted a baby that looked like you. He never bothered to ask why because he agreed with you, he always agrees with you, but now he seems to understand why, you always did understand him better than he did himself.
So all he does is mourn, he mourns but he doesn't cry- he didn't cry when he got the news of your death neither did he cry when he saw your body, not a single tear in sight. He just silently stood by your side, gently grazing your face with a finger, hands interlocked with yours until your last moment. And like all sorcerers fate, he watched your body get cremated until nothing but ashes were left in the end. Silently making his way back to a dark and empty house with nothing but the urn of your ash in his hand. He still doesn't cry when he hugs the urn close to his chest and stares at your side of the bed late into the night, he doesn't cry at all.
He doesn't cry because he can't cry. Tears are the embodiment of an emotion, what use are they for a man who's already gone numb?
9 " I love you " " I can't love her "
"Hiiii, 'toru"
"Hey, honey."
"How's everything over there?"
"She's growing up fast, you'd be surprised. She has my hair, y'know? Well, the color at least. It's funny how she's starting to resemble me, it's almost uncanny. She has your eyes though, it's like she copy-pasted your eyes onto hers, it's almost scary because it feels like it's you thats looking back at me sometimes. And well, she started going school now; just wanted to let you know that-"
"Well, that's sounds fun"
"...it's really not, not without you here"
"Aww, you miss me that much~?"
"I do, I miss you so much that it physically hurts"
"Aww I miss you too, honey. Tell you wha-"
Satoru sighs, cutting the saved voice message. What was he even doing, answering to your pre-recorded voice like a deranged person. But maybe he was deranged or tired perhaps both, he's not sure but what he was sure of was the fact that he hated he-
"Papa?"
Satoru hears before he sees, the door swinging open ever so slightly to showcase a pair of eyes, your eyes, meekly looking at him. Your eyes in his face but it's not you neither is it him, it's neither you or him but it's both you and him. It's so conflicting.
"What is it?" His voice softer than he wanted it, harsher than expected.
"I just wanted to show you the drawing I made today in class." Her voice is quiet, her footsteps even quieter as she slowly walks up to him, a rolled up paper carefully held in one tiny fist. She was so small, so tiny, so quiet, so utterly disgusting. Placing it down flat ever so quietly on the table, she takes a step back "It's you, me and...mama" she mumbles, pointing at the three stick figures accordingly.
Satoru pulls his blindfold up and narrows his eyes at the stick figure that was apparently you, your hair was wrong, the color, the length, the very style was wrong. "I-I don't know how mama looks like" she admits, tiny hands grabbing onto her shirt as she looks down.
"Of course, you don't. You killed her, sucked her life-force right out like a fucking parasite" he thinks bitterly to himself, fingers grazing over the paper. Everything was wrong, this whole situation was wrong, but the crudely drawn smile on your face wasn't. The smile wasn't, your smile wasn't. The edges of the crayon smile was raised just perfectly, you smiled just like that, always did even when he-
"Papa?" She calls out, eyes peeking through the soft tufts of arctic white hair- Satoru clears his throat, quietly re-adjusting his blindfold before nodding quickly "it's good, good job." He says, fingers gently outlining the curve of the crayon smile- it's what you would've said to her had you been the one in his place so it's what he'll say to her in your place. "You may leave now"
And don't ever come back.
She nods, reaching out for her drawing but Satoru shakes his head, tugging it closer to him which earns him a surprised reaction, something hopeful glinting in her eyes as she nods and quietly scurries out the door. He sighs when the door closes with a click, standing up and rummaging through his office for a spare frame. You'd have framed it and gushed about it had you been there but you weren't so the least he could do was frame it, he's framing it because it's what you would've done, it's what you would've wanted him to do.
He can't love her for you, he loves you and he'd do anything for you but loving her for you? He can't do that, he's more selfish than that.
Satoru sighs as he carefully puts the drawing in the frame, it's what you would've wanted, it's what you would've done. So he'll do it for you because it's you that loved her.
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THIS TOOK SO LONG AND IM FINALLY BACK! I ALSO FOUND A PARTTIME JOB! YAY! Gonna take a lot to buy a new laptop though so wish me luck!
Masterlist
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animehideout · 14 hours
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LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL
GOJO SATORU X FEM! READER
PART 12
a/n: Hiiii I'm back with another chapter, only one chapter left till we reach the end if this story. I apologize for the late update, my schedule kinda changed and it got busier so that's why I wasn't able to write and post, but good news that I'm back now yay ✨❤️.
Anyways I hope you enjoy this part as well. Some Angst, so grab some tissues and a snack of course to munch on while reading 😀.
Enjoy your reading session, love y'all so much 🫶🏻
Not Proofread ❌ Slight smut at the end.
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You took another glance around the room, but didn't dare to ask any of your students about him. You sighed in disappointment but forced a smile to not worry your students and look suspicious or sad. You hated to admit it even within you, but you wished he was there, holding your hand till you awake. But you woke up surrounded only by your students, it's not like you don't appreciate them or they're not enough, you just wanted another kind of feeling, and that feeling could only be with your husband, Satoru. Once again you felt neglected by him even in this terrible condition.
Megumi was too focused on you, he knew right away by the way your gaze was shifting in every corner, every face in the room that you were looking for Gojo, he knew you needed him.
"Ehm, I'll go get Gojo since you're awake now" he said in a reassuring tone without meeting your gaze, and left the room to look for him.
"Where the hell did he go" he mumbled to himself.
"Hm Megumi? Is Y/n awake?" asked Nanami
"Oh yeah she's awake, and she's fine! By the way, did you, perhaps see Gojo around?"
"He's not here"
"Then where?"
"He'll be here later, don't worry about him"
"Nanami Sensei! I. Need. You. To. Tell. Me. please! It's important " he insisted,
With a tired sigh, he spoke,
"Alright! he's at one of the interrogation rooms at Jujutsu High, probably interrogating Mei Mei-"
"or my father"
and without further words, Megumi headed to Jujutsu High to bring Gojo to the hospital, to bring him to your side.
"Hey Megumi wait" yelled Nanami but je was already gone.
*1st Interrogation Room*
"Happy now? Where's that usual dirty smirk at? Gone?" started Gojo as he looked down at Mei Mei who got both her hands chained to the chair.
"How dare you chain me up? A well respected Jujutsu sorcerer!" she exclaimed angrily.
"Oh no no trust me, after releasing Toji from prison, paying him to kill my wife and putting the Jujutsu community in terrible danger, officially you're no longer respected" he spat and started to walk away
"NO NO PLEASE WAIT! GOJO WAIT I BEG YOU! I did this for you!" she started crying,
"I did this for you Gojo, just for your sake. You know about the prophecy, I couldn't let her exceed you and become stronger than you, you're the strongest Gojo and it should remain that way–please, I wanted to protect you–" she pleaded desperately, tears streaming down her cheeks, each sob echoed in the vast empty room.
With a mocking chuckle, he approached her again and bent down till he met her eye level, tilting his head to the side, his blue eyes piercing through her soul,
"oh yeah?" he started
"Y-es, yes just for you Gojo" she said with a soft smile while sniffing.
"Hah, pathetic how hard you're still trying, how hard you're still trying to manipulate me and get me to believe your lies–lemme give you the real fact behind all of this, the fact is that you desperately wanted Y/n to die. You knew Y/n will become something, more powerful than any of us, and of course your jealousy, ego and hate were triggered because another woman effortlessly stole the show and your desperate ass always wants to be in the spot light, taking all the attention, you've always wanted to br known as the strongest woman sorcerer, the perfect match for me, the strongest man! But all of that collapsed when I married Y/n" he paused and pointed his index finger at her,
"You desperately wanted to be her, you envied her even at her lowest, you're obsessed with her to the point that you betrayed the jujutsu world. But lemme tell you something, Mei Mei, Y/n didn't only steal the spot light, she also stole my heart! I love my wife, I love Y/n so much and if you dare to think of any possible plan that could possibly get you out of prison to hurt my wife again, then I'll end you–" he said calmly in a serious and low tone, moving away from her to open the door and leave.
"–end me? just like you ended Geto?"
she wanted to trigger him, to hit his weakest spot, to make his heart ache like hers and to see him all vulnerable, but he swallowed it, even though the name Geto was killing him and slicing him to pieces for years. His hand clutched the door handle tightly, turning his head, side eyeing her,
"Yes I'll end you just like I ended Geto"
Then he shut the door, leaving her all alone.
Right then, she knew she lost Gojo forever, and her last attempt to convince him by bringing Geto was only another reason for him to hate her even more.
"NO GOJO WAIT, no! don't leave me here! GOJO PLEASE"
She begged and begged, but for nothing he's left already and outside that room her screams are inaudible, no one is able to hear her loud cries, no matter how hard she tries.
..
Gojo reached the other door handle, moving into the next interrogation room,
"Gojo Satoru, we meet again" said Toji with a smirk, his hair falling on his face, his lip bleeding,
"Toji Zenin"
"I go by Fushiguro now"
"And I don't give a fuck, you're a criminal either way"
"Oww, too salty Satoru"
"I don't have time for this kind of chit chat, what was your plan to do to my wife?"
"Kill her obviously, duh!" said Toji rolling his eyes
"You son of a bitch, and you're proud of that, I'm not allowed to kill you, that was the higher ups call so be thankful for that, or else I would have put you through the most terrible death you could possibly think of"
"Are you threatening me? besides it wasn't my plan, it was your side chick's plan"
"The fuck did you say?" said Gojo angrily, taking quick steps to Toji punching him once again, making his nose bleed.
Toji started laughing hysterically,
"Alright you win, you win for the second time Gojo Satoru, but I don't think you won her heart, pity all this effort to save her is for nothing"
"Shut up"
"What? You think now you'll live happy ever after? That you'll start over and become a happy couple? Nah you're egocentric, selfish and fucking arrogant, and you've never known love and never will, I've spent three days with her and I can tell she can't live with someone like you. Both of you are far away from each other, two extremes, too empathetic and too apathetic. She'll leave your ass"
"I SAID SHUT UP" yelled Gojo, once again punching him,
"G-gojo?" said Megumi as he opened the door and witnessed it.
"Megumi?" said Gojo and Toji at the same time,
Megumi looked at Toji with what appeared empty eyes, but in the inside his heart was breaking into pieces.. He shifted his gaze to Gojo,
"Gumi what are you doing here?" asked Satoru
"Came to see you Gojo, you have to go to the hospital Y/n is awake and she was looking for you!!"
"D-did she tell you to l-look for me?" he asked hia heart skipping a beat,
"Nah I just figured out, you better go now"
"Wait aren't you coming with me?"
"No, I have to talk to him"
"Megumi! You know you don't have to stay here, you don't have to talk to him, he'll soon get the punishment he deserves–"
"I know, but he's my father and I need to ask him why!"
"Then I'll stay with you, it's not safe!" he reached to grab Megumi's arm,
"Gojo, please! just go to your wife, she's waiting, don't make her wait any longer! I promise I'll be fine" said Megumi with a smile,
As soon as Gojo left the room, Megumi approached his father standing right in front of him,
"S-son!"
"Why? Why did you do that?" said Megumi in a cold tone,
"Son please!"
"You've almost killed one of my close friends! Y/n is not just a teacher to me, she's my friend as well! and now I can't even look her in the eye, you know why?" he paused, trying to swallow back the lump that formed in his throat making him struggle to talk,
"Because of you! because of the shame I'm feeling whenever I see her or remember that MY FATHER WANTED TO KILL HER JUST TO GET SOME DIRTY MONEY FROM MEI MEI"
"Megumi! you need to listen to me! I had to do that!"
"No, there's no excuse that can get you away for murdering innocent people, first Riko and now attempted to do the same to Y/n just because Mei Mei told you?"
"I did all of this for you, to buy a house, a house that we can all call home! Where we can be a family again, me and you!"
"A family?" said Megumi in a mocking way,
"Yes, we can try again, I can fix everything, and make up for the years that I wasn't by your side–"
"You know what dad!"
"Yes son tell me!"
"I'm glad you left when I was young, I'm glad Gojo raised me and not you, or else I might end up a criminal like you. If my mom was alive she'd be the most disappointed in you, SHE WONT EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU DAD!"
"Megumi don't say please!" said Toji, tears forming in his eyes,
Megumi's words destroyed him because he knows they were true, his wife would be disappointed in him if she was alive.
"You ruined my life dad! Enough of it, stop trying to ruin others' lives just for money, just because you were neglected by the Zenin clan! Don't make others pay for what your clan did to you..." he added, taking steps backwards to leave the room,
"Son wait please! I'm so sorry I caused you all this pain, I'm sorry I wasn't there–"
"Just forget you ever had a son, just like what you did with your humanity....goodbye -dad"
with that he closed the door forever, not only the room's door but the door in his heart that he kept open for his father, wishing that some day, he would repent and fix his mistakes even though he knew deep down they can't be fixed. And now he's finally ready to let go, he can never forgive him for all this mess, for all these mistakes that he willingly committed.
Unable to keep it inside, unable to hide his true, delicate, sensitive self, after maintaining the cold, strong image for too long as a coping mechanism for always feeling inferior than others for being parentless. He finally let out the child thay was kept locked inside, and finally broke down into tears. With each loud sob, his chest rose and heaved with sadness. He cried because of the shame he felt, and because of the fact he's now letting go of his father, once and for all. He cried alone, hugging his knees like a baby, till it became hard to breathe.
..
But was he alone really?
"MEGUMI!!!!"
That voice, the voice that used to annoy him for telling jokes non stop, for laughing really loud and not letting him sleep, that voice now is saving him.
He looked up, his eyes puffy and red with tears.
Yuji and Nobara running towards him, worried expressions drawn on their faces, their eyes wide since it was the first time they see their friend shed a tear. They finally reached him, joining him on the floor.
"Megumi??! what's wrong buddy what happened?" asked Yuji his eyes softening,
"Fushiguro? Is everything okay? Why are you crying did someone hurt you?" asked Nobara her voice shaking with fear and worry.
He just started at them, not saying anything single word. Looking ay their genuine worried and confused faces, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, realizing that his friends got his back, that they won't let him down and most importantly he realized that he doesn't have to feel alone anymore. They truly loved him and cared for him. He was too broken to realize that, he thought his dad abandon him because he hated him, so he grew up with that mindset; his father hates him let alone people out there. But now, finally realizing that love, friendship saved him, from himself, from his dark thoughts and now he can start anew.
Nobara waved her hand on front of his face,
"Hey Fushiguro??"
Without saying anything he hugged both of them, finally feeling the love he's been rejecting. Allowing himself to feel it for the first time and damn it felt good to have someone care for you, it made his heart at ease.
He hugged them really tight, refusing to let go, without hesitation they hugged him back in a comforting way, their warmth radiating.
"Awww Fushiguro-Kun is being soft" chuckled Nobara
"Shuh Nobara, we love this version of Megumi, geez didn't know you're a good hugger Fushiguro" said Yuji smiling,
"Aaaaa why'd you ruin the moment guys" groaned Megumi
"Nah nah we're sorry, we're just wondering where's the real Megumi and what did you do to him" she added,
"Nah it's the real Megumi here, you just unlocked a premium version. Get used to it" said Megumi pulling away from the hug a smile still decorating his face.
"Well for sure we'll get used to it" said Yuji and Nobara at the same time.
"Wait!! did you leave Y/n alone at the hospital, till Gojo arrives?" said Megumi in a moment of realization.
"Nah nah she's home now, we brought her at the dorms" explained Yuji
"Oh shit"
"What?"
"Gojo went to the hospital to see Y/n, so he won't find her there"
"Come on, he's a married man, his wife would tell him" said Nobara smirking
"Wasn't she supposed to spend the day there, till Shoko makes sure she's fine?" he asked again,
"Yeah but after you left the room to get Gojo she insisted to leave as well, she said she was feeling okay and doesn't need to stay there" exclaimed Nobara.
*At The Hospital*
Gojo pushed open the door of the room that you were in. A mix of anticipation and stress took over him, not knowing how he would behave in front of you, is he gonna hold your hand, kiss you? What was he going to say? Baby? My love? I missed you? All these thoughts disappeared when he found the room empty, devoid of your presence. Confusion clouded his features as he stepped inside, his eyes scanning the surroundings, trying to find any of your belongings, but there was absolutely nothing. Anxiety took over him, his heart racing inside his chest. He got really scared, thinking that someone abducted you, still terrified from the last incident that happened to you. With shaky hands he reached his phone to call one of his students, but before he can do he received a message from Nanami informing him that they moved you out of the hospital and took you to the dorms to rest there.
He let out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding, calming down slowly.
With a heavy sigh, he sank onto the edge of the bed, blaming himself for not being there when you woke up.
*Flashback*
You laid unconscious on the hospital bed after being treated by Shoko. No one was there except Gojo. He held your hand tightly, staring at your soft features as you were in your pretty slumber.
"I'm here Y/n, my beautiful wife, my princess" he whispered to you as you slept.
"I'm sorry, please wake up..wake up so I can tell you how much I love you, how bad I want to make you mine, how I want to fix things and start anew with you as a true husband, a husband that will love you, care for you and protect you, I won't let anyone hurt you.." he paused, remembering the state he found you in, on the floor, bloody nose, shirt almost torn off, his body tensed up.
"I'll punish them for what they had done to you" he added and left the room heading to the interrogation rooms at Jujutsu High.
*End of flash back*
*Time skip, night time*
Your students and Nanami already brought you everything you might need; food, water, some snacks and some manga books that Yuji gave to you to pass time.
You laid your back on the bed frame, grabbed a bag of chips, a manga book and started reading enjoying your own company, trying your best to distract yourself from thinking about Satoru.
Engrossed in the pages of your book and in your own world, the soft rustle of the door opening brought you back to reality. You already knew who it was, it was your husband Satoru. Even though, you were distant from each other, you got used to his footsteps. He closed the door behind and greeted you gently,
"Hii Y/n"
However, you remained absorbed in your reading, refusing to look up at him or even greet him back. He thought you were too focused on the book and didn't notice him arriving so he cleared his throat, attempting to get your attention this time and said,
"A-are you feeling better now? How's your leg?"
But again you remained silent, as if he wasn't in the room, as if his voice was inaudible to you. He received the message and realized that you don't wanna talk to him, and he respected your decision, he chose to not push too far especially that you're still traumatized from what happened to you.
With a resigned sigh, he took some clean clothes from the dresser, and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower that might wash the tiredness away. The sound of the running warm water that fell on his body mingled with the quiet of the room, a gentle reminder of the distance between you and him.
You put the book on your nightstand, and shut your eyes, you tried to go to sleep before he joins you again, you've already took your decision, you'll ignore him, you'll distance yourself even more, you won't let him pity you and help you because he feels sorry for what had happened to you. You refused to be the victim, you won't allow anyone to feel bad for you.
...
Opening the door again, he found you fast asleep, hugging your pillow for comfort. He smiled to himself as he saw your sleeping face.
He missed being in your presence, even if you were only sleeping. He dried his hair and then gently approached the bed, already dressed in his pajamas. The mattress sank as he joined you, getting under the covers. He used his elbow to keep himself up a bit while he watched you sleep. Your pouty lips that he craves to kiss, your soft skin that he wants to caress, your chest that rose and fell with each breath. It was the small details that made him fall for you, that made you so special. He was watching and watching till your comfy sight lulled him to sleep, and now he joined you, his head next to yours, his arms fell on your waist as he spooned you. Finally both of you not only sleeping under the same roof again all safe and sound, but being this close to each other.
.....
You woke up in the morning to him all over you, his arm laid comfortably on top of you. You rubbed your eyes, thinking it was a dream but it was reality. As much as it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, it made you feel sad as well. And the small smile that instinctively formed on your lips, disappeared.
"Maybe he just rolled over" you said to yourself, still convinced that whatever he was doing was everything and anything but love.
You pushed his hand away, getting ready to get breakfast with the rest of teachers and students as well. You missed those mornings, with Nobara talking nonstop, Panda eating everything on the table and Nanami annoyed whenever principal Yaga announced a new mission. You felt like family, you felt included but it's always something missing, the true love, the love of your husband.
It is indeed hard to live a one sided love story, realizing your feelings towards Gojo were more of a problem than a realization, maybe it could have been a lot easier if they remained undiscovered, because starting from today you'll live with the fact that your husband that you fell head over heels with doesn't reciprocate your feelings, at least that's what your mind told you.
The mind works in mysterious ways, sometimes when you're used to some kind of feeling, it becomes like a drug, so when you experience another feeling you always find a way to include that specific feeling again. And that's the case for you, you've been feeling lonely and unloved your whole life, and you thought you'd be feeling that way for the rest of your life not even giving yourself a chance to ask if he feels the same.
...
You walked towards the table, the food was ready, the scent of coffee was intoxicating. Your students already there, excited for food like every single morning.
"OH Y/N - SENSEI GOOD MORNING" said Yuji excitedly,
"Good morning Sensei" said the other students in union with a big smile.
You nodded smiling at their morning energy that was circulating in the air,
"Good morning everyone"
Nanami and Shoko joined, followed by Principal Yaga and then Gojo who came running and out of breath looking for you, but then letting a deep sigh once he saw you sitting around the table safe and happy. It became his new freshly unlocked fear; you not being by his side.
"Oh you're here" he mumbled,
"Huh Gojo what's up with that face? did you see a ghost?" said Principal Yaga
"I'm fine" he shrugged and then joined you, sitting on the chair that was right next to you.
He gazed at you, clearing his throat,
"You woke up early today, I thought about bringing you food to bed so you don't have to tire yourself" he started almost whispering.
You shoved the spoon full of rice in your mouth, not bothering to look at him. The others exchanged gazes but started eating shortly, not wanting to get into your business. Gojo started eating as well thinking about ways to approach you or find a key to start even a small conversation and get you to talk to him.
"So Y/n are you feeling better?" asked Nanami
"Yeah much better actually, thank you Nanami!" you smiled,
And Gojo felt his heart crash, as if he received a stab right in the chest. He wished it was him you were smiling at.
"Yuji can you pass me the salt please?" you said gently,
but before Yuji could reach it, Gojo already snatched it from in front of him and gave it to you,
"Here!" he said with a silly smile,
You poked the inside of your cheek and took the salt from him not even looking at him.
"Um Y/n–" started Satoru but you cut him off by starting a conversation with Yaga sensei.
"By the way Sensei, I feel like I'm ready to start teaching again–"
"WHAT NO!" yelled Satoru
You raised your eyebrow,
"You need to rest Y/n, you've been through a lot" he added worriedly.
But you ignored his concern and his comment and shifted your gaze to Principal Yaga again,
"My students must be missing my classes"
"But y/n Gojo is right! You need to rest! it's been only one day" exclaimed Principal Yaga
"I'm feeling okay!" you said smiling.
"Alright then, do as you please but don't tire yourself, okay?" said Yaga sensei with a smile
You nodded smiling.
"Y/n please, you've been through a traumatic experience, this phase is the hardest even if you're not realizing it" said Gojo with worried eyes.
But you ignored him again, getting up from the table, wiping your mouth with a napkin heading to your room to get ready for a day full of teaching.
......
It was a long day full of laugher with your students, they did everything they could to make sure you were comfortable and happy. Especially Yuji he acted extra silly to get you to laugh uncontrollably. They wanted to help you forget about the terrifying experience as soon as possible.
You were in the balcony at night, enjoying the night sky, getting back to your favorite night activity, watching the stars. It always put a smile on your face. It reminded you of how vast our universe is and how small our problems seem in front of it.
"sensei?"
You looked back,
"hm Megumi? are you okay?"
"Yeah! is it okay if w-we talk a bit?"
"Sure Gumi, tell me!" you replied with a soft grin, now giving him your full attention, anticipating his words
"I–I w-wanted to apologize!" he said looking down at his feet unable to meet your gaze
"Hm? for what?"
"I - I'm sorry sensei, I'm ashamed of what my father did to you, he doesn't represent me, I'm not like him and I completely oppose it, always been I–" he said nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
"Megumi" you started, placing your hands on his shoulders,
"I know who you are! I know how kind, caring and loving you are! You don't need to apologize, you don't need to explain anything. It's not your fault that your dad chose the wrong path, so don't ever blame yourself! Stand proud Megumi! You are an amazing student, an amazing person and an amazing friend of mine" you insisted giving him a light squeeze.
"Really?"
"Yes you are! Don't ever doubt yourself! come here" you added and pulled him into a warm hug.
.........
*2 days later*
"Yaga sensei, since Toji is in prison now what about Y/n and I go back to our house?" suggested Gojo.
"Huh? Why the rush you don't like it here?"
"No it's not like that, it's just since our marriage we had to live here so it would be nice to go back to our own house"
"I like it here" you said out of the blue, showing that you refuse to live with him in a vast house alone.
"But y/n, our house is big, you'll feel more comfortable there, our room is waiting for you–"
"Oh Yaga sensei I thought about making a writing test as well not only a practical one" you said cutting Satoru off, as if his words didn't matter.
Starting a new conversation, totally neglecting him. Everyone around the table noticed it but have no right to interfere. Your inside was screaming, wanting to give in and move back to your house again where you can live only you and your husband, enjoy each other's company and privacy but it was complicated, life is not a movie scene and you can't wipe away the bad memories easily.
*Time skip*
You were in the balcony, waiting for the sunset. You've been lying to yourself, thinking that teaching again and distracting yourself with some jokes would make you forget about the hell Toji and Mei Mei put you through. You were already suffering from anxiety and this incident made it worse. You were getting a good night sleep just because you were using the pills that Shoko gave to you or else you'll wake up screaming from your night terrors, from the trauma you had lived. You started getting random panic attacks whenever you were alone, your hands would get all sweaty and start shaking, cold sweat dripping from your forehead and you felt like being choked.
Maybe it would have been easier if you told them what you truly felt and not pretending to be okay. Maybe it would have been a lot easier if you confessed your true feelings to Satoru even if he rejects you.
A tear rolled down your cheek, knowing that it got worse and that Gojo did a mistake by saving you. Maybe the world would be a better place without you. You felt useless and a heavier burden now, going back to teaching to prove yourself useful in something, only to find your students pitying you and trying to help you instead of you helping them. With a deep breath, lost in your thoughts, you came to a conclusion, that leaving is the best option. It's been weeks and your curse didn't break, and you've already lost faith that it would break, and you can't live on false hope that one day you'll become a sorcerer and make your family proud. You feel like your husband that was forced to marry you, is now forced to take care of you and treat you differently because you were the unlucky one to get kidnapped by one the most dangerous murderers. Your family won't accept you or treat you fairly as long as you remain a monkey with no curse energy.
"It's all related" you chuckled to yourself,
You checked your phone, and credit card, already clothed in your jacket to protect you from the cold.
You took a moment to watch the sunset first, it was mesmerizing, the color degradation representing different phases.
"Sunsets are a living proof that endings can be beautiful too" you said to yourself.
You started walking away, leaving Jujutsu High behind, not knowing where your legs would take you but at least you know you'll be safe, Mei Mei and Toji are in prison now. You just wanted to get far away from everyone, you knew you didn't fit anywhere, you don't belong anywhere. So maybe you'll start as a normal simple human, with a normal simple job. It broke you to run away from them, you considered them a family and you knew you'll carry all those beautiful memories with you whenever you go, but what broke you the most, is leaving Gojo without a proper goodbye, but for your self-respect you chose not to give him another reason to feel sorry for you.
*Time skip*
"SENSEI! SENSEI HAVE YOU SEEN Y/N?" asked Gojo as he rushed downstairs after asking literally everyone and they said no.
"No!"
Panic coursed through his veins,
"Sensei what if someone abducted her again?"
"Relax Gojo, she's not a kid I'm sure she's safe, Toji is imprisoned so is Mei Mei, I'm sure she just went for a night stroll"
Gojo looked at him in disbelief, and left Jujutsu High and start searching for you, maybe he's being paranoid now and scared by the slightest thing but he can't afford to lose you, not again.
...
He searched everywhere, anywhere possible, he even went to Mei Mei's house to make sure you weren't there even though he knows damn well that both of them are paying for their mistakes. He check every corner, every street, every alley but you're nowhere to be found.
He started sweating, his heart hammering against his ribcage, feeling the sky narrowing around him and suffocating him.
"Where are you y/n, please!" he said to himself.
He paused when a thought crossed his mind, he knows you're a space enthusiast. You enjoy watching the clear night sky and chase the stars, but to do so you need an excluded area, away from Tokyo lights. A hill 2 hours away from Jujutsu High, but it's Satoru, he doesn't need 2 hours to reach that hill in a matter of seconds he found himself there.
It was dark, but he could see a figure standing, head's up to the sky. The city light bellow on full display. He knew right away that it was you. He wanted to announce his presence to not scare you, so with a soft voice he spoke,
"y/n?"
Yoh turned around, looking at him in disbelief. Without saying anything you started to walk away but he rushed towards you and grabbed your arm,
"Wait y/n please talk to me!"
"Satoru leave me alone"
"No! no I'm not leaving you alone, not this time! Why are you ignoring me? Why are you being being so cold towards me? I understand it was my fault and I'm so fucking sorry about it but please talk to me–"
"Satoru! For god's sake, let me go, let me live, let me try a new start away from all of this"
"Why? you can start anew here? with us! with me!"
"No you don't understand! I don't belong to your world, I don't belong here! I'm sick of it" you explained a tear fell down,
"You belong with me y/n, please let me help you"
"I don't fucking need your help, I don't need anyone's fucking help, I'm tired of being the one in need, I'm tired of being the one who needs to be saved. Because no one of you will, and because it's so fucking degrading, I'm sick of myself, sick of not being able to protect myself-"
"Y/n you're not realizing your potential, please don't rush things!"
"Don't rush things? It's been weeks Satoru and nothing worked, I can't let you go through this, you deserve to be with someone like you, you deserve to be with someone strong, a sorcerer not a talentless human. It's over okay!! I was ready to send you the divorce papers so you don't need worry about anything, I'm no longer a burden, and you won't take my responsibility, I know you're sick of me and of all this prophecy shit" you paused,
looking straight into his blue eyes, if you could trade the night sky for his eyes then you would, you would choose to look deep into those blue canvas. You wanted to take into his face, to stare longer memorizing his features so they take a longer time to fade from your memory.
"Rejoice Satoru, you're free!" you said and freed yourself from his grasp, walking away,
His heart beats escalated, watching you walk away. No it can't be, you can't leave him, not when he realized that he couldn't breathe without you, not when he realized he can't sleep without your scent in the room.
"No, you can't leave me"
He grabbed you again, pulling you against him,
"I can Satoru, that's what you fucking wanted so don't act like you don't want it"
"I'm not acting, I don't want you to leave"
"Why? So you can feel less guilty by making it up for me even if you don't want it?"
"NO!"
"Then fucking why?"
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"
A moment of silence fell over the place, looking into each other's eyes, only your heavy breathing is being heard,
"I love you y/n, I love you so fucking much that I can't take it anymore, I love you that the only thing I can focus on is you, I lOVE YOU THAT I WOULD GIVE UP HEAVEN IF IT MEANS I GET TO BE WITH YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY HEAVEN Y/N, YOU'RE MY BLESSING. I WAS YOUR CURSE AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT, BUT LOVE, LOVE MADE ME A FOOL, A FOOL FOR YOU"
You didn't say a word, you were too shocked, words still processing in your mind. You froze, trying to figure out if it was a dream or a reality. But when he crashed his lips on yours, you knew it was real, by the way his soft plump lips felt on yours. His big hands grabbing your waist pulling you towards his body that was screaming, yelling for you, for your touch. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation, a sensation you dreamt of for many nights, and days. Daydreaming, wondering how his lips would taste.
Instinctively your hands moved around his neck, pulling him closer. Your breath mixing, breathing each other in and out. Kissing each other so passionately as if your lives depend on it as if the world stops rotating, the clock stops ticking, and humans stops breathing. Only you and him in a vast world.
He pulled away, intoxicated by your taste, his eyes full of love and lust at the same time, growing impatient as the seconds passed by, the he spoke with a foggy voice,
"Let's go to our house, our home, tonight I'll make you mine and you'll make me yours.. let me do your duty as your husband, allow me to get a taste of you and get a taste of me"
Your chest rose and fell, feeling the electricity run in your system, turning you on even more.
"mhm" you nodded, you'd follow him everywhere even to your decease.
You were ready to finally give yourself to him, to allow him to do as he pleases to you and you do as you please to him. Finally, a few moments till you become a real husband and wife, a few moments till you taste heaven.
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sattugu · 20 hours
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LOVING HIM WAS HARD . . .
ᡣ𐭩 synopsis. he was your lover. the one you were meant to cherish in your heart but work and duty have taken them away from you and your left to sleep in a cold bed almost every night. maybe staying with them isn’t the right decision after all.
ᡣ𐭩 tags. ayato x reader, xiao x reader, kazuha x reader, neuvillette x reader. angst. little bit of fluff. reader leavesً forever. or sometimes the boy.
ᡣ𐭩 a/n . genshin angst is the best angst so of course I had to do it.!!! this trope is so sad and im a sucker for sadness. if you enjoyed a like or reblog would greatly be appreciated. NOT PROOFREAD.
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AYATO of this one thing you were certain, you loved ayato with your whole heart. not because he was the head of the kamisato clan, nor because he was the older brother of your beloved friend ayaka. but because he never failed to make you smile. never failed to cause that light feeling in your chest or made the tips of your ears go red and your stomach flutter.
your silly crush on him grew to be something more than you could ever imagine, and before you knew it you’d fallen in love. it seemed you weren’t the only one. ayato had confessed after a night at the uyuu restaurant. of course you’d proclaimed your love for him too. when would you ever pass up the offer? only now you wished he’d given you a warning beforehand. that loving him would come with the price of barely seeing him. touching him, speaking to him even. many days you slept on an empty cold bed. and many days you awoke to no one beside you. it became such a daily occurrence you’d forgotten the last time you’d even slept beside him. nonetheless felt his hands upon your skin. his touch was a fleeting dream. one you tried so hard to hold onto but whenever you seemed to grasp it, it slid away like sand through your palm.
so you did the most reasonable thing. you let him go.
XIAO was a warrior. he had a warrior heart and he fought like one. it was expected of the adepti. he was a protector and fought monsters so it was only cliche that you’d met him when he was fighting one. you couldn’t take you eyes off him. the way he moved with grace with his polearm. as if he and the weapon were like one. enemies were felled in his quack and you realised why he was called the conqueror of demons.
it was only when you were caught watching him did he finally acknowledge you. he was kind and thoughtful and always had something smart to say. maybe that was why you fell for him. it was inevitable really. xiao was a beauty like none other and maybe you were attracted to that, his foreignness.
that was also the reason why you were so incompatible. xiao was a fighter. he vanquished demons and any foe alike. he was needed everywhere, all the time. you were just a human. you were like the stone, you stood in one place , never moving. but he was like the wind, everywhere but also nowhere. he was a soft breeze on an afternoon that you’d try to follow, but it was too quick. too changing for you to hold on.
maybe that was why you left too.
KAZUHA was freedom. he was the wind that blew in from the sea, bringing the promise of rain. he was like a leaf on a phantom wind. it’s course ever changing. that was how you’d met him. on the docks of inazuma. you we’re working at a stall for you father. bored out of your wits. that was when you’d caught the first glimpse of him. blonde hair with a dashing streak of red. when you locked eyes and he made his way to you. you could practically hear your heart pounding in your ears. love was not an unfamiliar feeling to you it was one you’d never experienced and been given fro your parents, your friends. but this time it was different.
you’d hit it off immediately. your love of poetry binding you. you spent hours, listening to his stories of his adventures. he’d tell you stories of his companions he’d traveled with. and also of the ones he’d lost. he even told you of the one he’d lost to the raiden shogun. maybe that was your first telling. kazuha lived his life on his tip toes. the thrill of adventure kept him moving. you were such a stark contrast to him. you wanted the peaceful quiet life. it wasn’t all that surprising when you were at the docks once again, at the end of summer, watching as his ship sailed off into the distance. it wasn’t all that surprising when you realised he hadn’t given you a goodbye.
NEUVILLETTE was a bringer of justice. he was a judge of fontaine and throughout his various trials, his decree was usually the end point for whoever was on the receiving end. he wasnt happy about some of the outcomes, but his personal feelings were supposed to be detached from the case. he’d done that centuries ago when he took up the role.
you’d met him at the court house. filing some papers for the latest convict. you didn’t like the outcome of the previous trial. you seemed it unfair. but what could you do? your complaints would do nothing to save them so you sucked up your feelings and moved on with your day but the sadness for them always re-emerged when you were doing your work.
you couldn’t look at neuvillette the same either. you knew not to blame him. of course you did. you knew the law was not his word. that if his judgments were from the heart they would be much more different. but how could you remove the judge from the man for whenever you saw him you were reminded of the harsh iudex of fontaine. it came to no shock to him when you never returned to the courthouse again. he’d seen the forlorn look in your eye whenever you saw him, it was hard not to.
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©SATURVUE 24 do not copy, repost or plagiarise my work. thank you. if you enjoyed, a like or a reblog would be greatly appreciated!!!
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glearyyyne · 23 hours
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imperfect for you
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Synopsis: Even if you have this stupid hypotension, you still look forward to meeting Satoru even if obstacles are blocking you two, your love for him grows only stronger.
Word Count: 3,902 Words
Warning: Angst (again), Shibuya incident, the reader has hypotension.
Note: Hello once again! I came back with this fic that I had been making for the last few days. I hope you give this love the same you give to we can't be friends (wait for your love) & I wish I hated you :3
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Door opening
Your eyes went to look at who came to your room. Maids began to fill your room one by one, “I crave your pardon for intruding on your room at this hour but it is time for you to head and start your day” the head maid spoke to you as she bowed to show respect.
Your eyes wandered for a second before you stood up then all of the maids began to be alert in case you fainted again.
They help you head to the bathroom to take a shower before they dress you up with an extravagant kimono and style your hair into icho gaeshi.
Even though in this modern world where everyone prefers to dress minimally, to your clan you had to wear what women in the Edo Period wore. 
Maids then escort you to the dining room to eat breakfast. After you sit down on the zabuton, a maid places your breakfast. It was the same thing again, foods that are suitable for your hypotension.
Your eyes wander around the room again, zabutons are empty and it's just you and your maids. You sigh before picking up your chopsticks and begin eating.
While you were eating, a maid then slowly placed a letter on your side. Your eyes sparkled, putting the chopsticks down and taking the letter as if it were candy before opening it.
My Dearest Kikufuku,
As the morning sun dances through the curtains, my thoughts are consumed by you. I eagerly anticipate the moment when I can gaze into your eyes once again. Let us meet at our cherished spot this afternoon, where time seems to stand still in the presence of our love.
Until then, remember that my heart beats only for you, and every moment apart feels like an eternity. I long to hold you close and bask in the warmth of your affection.
With all my love,
Gojo Satoru
P.S. If our love were a jujutsu technique, it would be like my teleportation technique: occasionally unpredictable, but always landing right where it's meant to be- in your arms.
You giggle at how much he flirts with you. You suddenly felt the need to look forward to your meeting at the Garden of Eden what your clan calls the garden in the clan household. 
Even though it is a modern world where phones are normalized to use to communicate with your loved ones, you told Satoru that you loved receiving letters as it brings more emotions rather than texting through the phone but also because you can feel the effort they put just to write you a letter.
Since then Satoru always made sure to deliver the letters to your clan but of course, it was not him delivering, but instead, it was his students delivering the letter. Of course, he would like to call them running an errand for their strongest teacher.
After you close the letter, you look at the maid before handing them the letter. “Place this in the container in my room where I keep other letters, you know where it is,” You told her as she nodded, bowing before she left. 
You continued eating with a bit of excitement and butterflies roaming around your stomach.
Your daily routine begins, waking up early and having a good time to yourself before maids begin to get inside your room to tell you it's time to start the day as you stand and head to the bathroom to take a shower, they dress you up, take you the dining room as you eat and then receive the letter Satoru usually do. You then finish the meal with happiness even though you are sick of the same old meal, after that, you head to your calligraphy session as it is the only activity that you can do without exceeding your body that causes you to faint.
Even though some say that calligraphy lessons are boring, you find them peaceful and calming sometimes. 
Two hours later, you were able to finish your calligraphy making you excited to meet Satoru. Maids of course need to accompany you in case you faint without them in sight. 
When you arrived at the Garden of Eden, you saw a silhouette by the huge tree. Your eyes shine in excitement when you catch a glimpse of white hair.
“Satoru!” You quickly shouted his name in excitement and rushed towards him, completely forgetting your hypotension and completely leaving your maids in panic as they rushed to stop you from running.
Satoru turned around after hearing your voice, a smile cracked on his face as you rushed to him like a child with your maids rushing to your side. 
Before you knew it, your legs started to give out and you almost fell to the ground but luckily you were close to Satoru and he managed to catch you before you fell. 
“Slow down, love, you always forget your hypotension whenever you see me” He joked. You smiled even if you felt like your vision got dark for a second.
He looked at your maids as he nodded, “I’ll take care of her, you both can go” The maid didn't think twice and left as they knew better to follow him than question him.
Your eyes follow your maids as they disappear from your sight, a hand holds your chin moving it towards Satoru to make you look at him.
“My eyes are here you know” That's when you knew he took off his blindfold the moment your eyes were attached to your maids who were leaving you two alone.
You two then agreed to walk around the garden with his hand holding your hand as his thumb caressed your hand.
“I thought you were busy these days since you wrote in your last letter that you had to deal with some special grade curse?” You asked, “Well, I didn't want you to feel lonely without my presence that's why I came to visit my kikufuku,” He said
You giggle at what he said as Satoru stops you from walking. You looked at him confused before he pointed at the bench. “Let's take a break, you should sit first,” he said.
You sat before you got confused when Satoru didn't sit next to you but instead, he stood beside you.
“You're not sitting?” 
“No, I wanted you to take the rest you need since I don't want your clan to nag me again about making you walk than you usually need.” He answered, his hand went to his pocket as he pulled out a candy.
“Here,” you said with a grin. “You really don't run out of these do you?” You asked as you took the candy out of his hand, opening the candy before placing it in your mouth. You immediately can taste the burst of sweetness from the candy.
“Well I used to stash it for me whenever I needed it but thinking back from how we met, I think that's changed me to stash more candy in my pocket” Satoru replied with his soft tone that made you stop and think of that time.
**
“Shoot, I can't-” You tried speaking but your legs gave out after you ran away from the meeting room. You cried frustratedly, fragile hands began to punch your thigh. ‘These stupid legs’ you thought.
You didn't care if your thigh got bruised as you just wanted to let out your frustration from your clan.
Just because you have hypotension doesn't mean they have the right to throw you around for ‘men’ to marry you.
You sigh, wiping your tears away. 
“I didn't know this clan would have a lady crying her heart out,” someone said that got your attention. 
You were confused and scared as it might be the maids or someone in the clan because if they find you in that state they'll go ahead and scold you for a long time.
But instead, you saw sapphire eyes staring at you with his amusing smirk.
You got pissed as you thought he came here to tease you for being weak.
“Who even are you?!" You spat, feeling your anger surge. Words that you wanted to say formed in your mind and were about to say them when suddenly this man gave you candy.
It left you dumbfounded.
“You must be [Reader’s name], the clan girl that has hypotension. Good thing I haven't eaten that candy so be thankful” He said
You didn't know why but you felt butterflies on your stomach when you received the candy.
Was it because this guy gave you candy that no one can do?
You stared at the candy in your hand like a predator. “Lady [Reader's name]! Thank god I found you!” A maid saw you as she rushed up and helped you stand up.
But when she noticed this white-haired guy, she immediately bowed to him. “Gojo-san! It's so nice to meet you!” The maid said leaving you confused.
“You knew him?” You asked her.
“He’s Gojo Satoru, the special grade sorcerer your father said he'll visit today!” Your eyes widen, but this man in front of you laughs.
“It was nice meeting you crybaby,” He said before leaving you two alone with your maid being confused while you were a blushing mess.
That's how the candy holds a place in your heart and you always ask the maids to buy you that specific candy ever since.
**
“Hey, you alright?” Your thoughts soon went away when you felt Satoru holding your cheek and forehead as if he were checking if you were having a fever or not.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine” You told him but he was not buying it.
“What was in your mind princess?” He asked with concern.
“I just suddenly thought our first meeting, you were calling me a crybaby back then,” You told him with a laugh.
Satoru chuckled softly, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "Ah, yes, I remember that day. But look at you now, strong and resilient," he said, his eyes filled with warmth. "You've come a long way since then, my princess.”
And again, he knew how to make you feel those butterflies again. 
His hand soon left your cheek and you were about to whine but you saw how he picked up a golden Stargazer lily before he put it behind your ears.
“It looks good on you,” He said, leaving you a blushing mess as you tried to cover your face with your hands.
Satoru giggled as he tried to remove your hands so he could see your smile. “No! I’m too embarrassed!” You told him to try your best to cover.
Satoru chuckled softly, gently prying your hands away from your face. "Don't be shy, you're beautiful," he reassured, his gaze warm and affectionate.
You peeked through your fingers, feeling a rush of warmth at his words. "You're just saying that," you murmured, a hint of a smile playing on your lips.
Before Satoru could respond, his phone chimed, interrupting the moment. He sighed with annoyance. "Looks like the higher-ups won't even leave me alone with you," he muttered, reaching for his phone.
You slowly took your hands off your face, watching as Satoru spoke into his phone with a furrowed brow, his expression shifting from annoyance to anger. You could see the frustration building in his eyes as he muttered under his breath, clearly annoyed at the interruption that was ruining your time together.
After ending the call with a frustrated sigh, Satoru turned to you, his expression softening as you held onto the hem of his teacher uniform, bombarding him with questions about the call. "What happened? Is it bad?" you asked, concern evident in your voice, your brows furrowing with worry.
Satoru hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering with a mix of emotions before he leaned in to place a tender kiss on your lips, his touch calming your racing thoughts. "It's nothing for you to worry about," he murmured, his voice gentle yet firm as he reassured you, his eyes searching yours for understanding.
You stared at him not believing him but this is what he usually does when you try to ask him about his job he’ll do anything to avoid that topic like diverting your attention to something else.
It is as if he doesn't trust you to let you know about his job as the special-grade sorcerer of the modern era.
“Satoru-” You were about to beg him to tell you the truth but a maid came. “Lady! I’m sorry for ruining your time together with Gojo-san but it is time for your next lesson” 
“Oh…” you said as you remembered how strict the clan is when it comes to schedules. 
Satoru's eyes softened as he took in the sadness etched across your features. With a gentle sigh, he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on your forehead, his touch offering a sense of reassurance amidst the uncertainty.
"We'll meet again next time, I promise," he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of regret for the interruption. "But for now, focus on your lesson.."
You nodded, albeit reluctantly, knowing that duty often called him away at the most inconvenient times. With one last lingering glance, you reluctantly let go of his uniform and allowed the maid to guide you to your next lesson, though your thoughts remained with Satoru, longing for the next opportunity to be by his side once more.
**
You stared blankly at the meeting room. It’s been a week since Satoru told you he’ll meet you again, you feel like you’re getting agitated from not receiving any letter from him since that day. 
Maids began to worry when you started to feel less and less energy to eat or do your calligraphy lesson. They were having second thoughts if they should go and head to the Gojo clan to plead with Satoru to at least deliver you some letter.
“[Reader’s name]! I need your focus here!” You flinch when your father slams his hand on the table to catch your attention.
“S-sorry father” you apologize quickly as you fix your posture.
“As I was saying, we have found the perfect candidate for your marriage,” your father announced, his tone firm as he glanced at you expectantly.
You froze, feeling a wave of shock and disbelief wash over you. "Marriage?" you whispered, unable to hide the surprise in your voice.
Before your father could continue, you gathered your courage, speaking up with determination. "Father, I... I can't go through with this. I'm seeing Satoru," you confessed, your heart racing with nervousness.
To your astonishment, your father chuckled, shaking his head. "My dear, your relationship with this Satoru or Gojo will not last long," he stated matter-of-factly, causing your heart to sink. "I've decided to arrange a marriage for you. It's for the best.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as your heart shattered into pieces. "But Father, Satoru is the strongest sorcerer I know. You know that too that he would protect me," you pleaded, your voice trembling with emotion. "Why would you trade him for someone who may not even care for me?"
Your father's expression softened, but his resolve remained firm. "Satoru's strength is precisely what concerns me," he explained gently. "He'll attract enemies, and soon they'll realize his weakness is you. I can't bear the thought of putting you in danger. This is for your safety, my dear."
You felt a mix of anger and helplessness wash over you, but deep down, you couldn't shake off the fear of being separated from Satoru. Despite your protests, you couldn't bear the thought of losing the person you loved most in the world.
Before you knew it, you ran away again from the meeting room. As soon as the door opened from the meeting room, the maids were about to greet whoever came out but were surprised to see it was you running away again.
As you reached the Garden of Eden, your legs trembling with exhaustion, you collapsed onto a nearby bench instead of the ground. Tears streamed down your face as you sat there, hunched over, your heart heavy with sorrow and frustration.
The maids, having followed you, approached with concern, but you waved them away, needing a moment alone to gather your thoughts and emotions. In the solitude of the garden, surrounded by the beauty of nature, you allowed yourself to release all the pent-up anguish and sorrow that had been building inside you.
As tears streamed down your face, your hands covering your eyes, you felt someone gently pry them away. Instinctively, you tensed, ready to protest, but as you looked up, your heart skipped a beat.
It was Satoru, your lover, his expression unreadable but with an undeniable air of anger. His gaze bore into yours, and for a moment, you felt a pang of fear, unsure of what his reaction would be.
"Satoru," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your sobs.
Satoru immediately hushed you, his expression still tense with anger as he knelt in front of you. His hands gently cupped your face as he searched your eyes, his own filled with concern and a hint of fury.
"Who made you cry?" he demanded, his voice low and filled with intensity, as if ready to confront whoever had caused you pain.
Satoru noticed your frequent glances towards the maids, who were not far away but concealed behind a tree.
With a resigned sigh, he moved his hand to your chin, gently guiding your gaze back to him.
"They don't matter right now," he murmured, his voice softening. "Whether they scold or snitch, you just tell me the reason, and I'll handle it."
His words were like a soothing balm to your wounded soul, and you nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you knowing that Satoru was there to support you, no matter what.
As you sniffled, tears still streaming down your face, you poured out your heart to Satoru. 
"My father found a candidate for me to marry," you choked out between sobs. "He said he doesn't think we'll last long because of your limitless technique. He thinks it'll attract enemies, and if they know I'm your weakness, they'll target me," you explained, your voice trembling with emotion.
Satoru took your hand in his, lifting it gently to his lips and kissing the back of your hand as he caressed it with his thumb. 
"Baby, if they know my weakness is you, they won't dare touch you," he reassured, his voice firm with conviction. "I'm so strong that they'll turn into a paper crumple before they can even lay a finger on you." He stood up and pressed a tender kiss to your forehead "You're safe with me, always.”
Before you could speak, Satoru surprised you with his next words. "I'll marry you," he declared, his gaze unwavering as he met your eyes. "Even if your clan doesn't agree, even if the world objects, I'll marry you. The witnesses can just be my students."
His declaration took you aback, and for a moment, you were speechless, overwhelmed by the depth of his commitment and love for you. 
It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted from your shoulders, knowing that no matter what obstacles stood in your way, Satoru would stand by your side, ready to defy them all for your love.
You felt an immense joy making you cry more, Satoru was confused. He was about to comfort you when you pulled him into a kiss.
Feeling an immense joy wash over you, tears still streaming down your face, you couldn't contain your emotions any longer. Without a word, you pulled Satoru closer, pressing your lips against his in a kiss that spoke volumes of love and gratitude.
At first, Satoru was taken aback by your sudden action, but as he melted into the kiss, he felt the warmth of your love enveloping him. The kiss deepened, becoming more passionate and sweet as if sealing the unspoken promise of a future together filled with love and devotion.
In that moment, surrounded by the beauty of the Garden of Eden, you and Satoru shared a bond that transcended words, a bond forged in the fire of love and strengthened by the promise of a lifetime together.
However, just as you found a glimmer of happiness, the cruel realities of the world came crashing down upon you once more.
**
My Dearest Kikufuku,
As I sit here, miles away from you, I find myself consumed by thoughts of your sweet kiss. Each moment apart feels like an eternity, and my heart aches to hold you in my arms once more.
After completing my mission in Shibuya, I promise to make a stop at a bakery and pick up something sweet, just like you. The thought of sharing a treat with you brings a smile to my face amidst the chaos of my duties.
I want you to know, my love for you grows stronger with each passing day. You are my light in the darkness, my anchor in the storm. No distance can diminish the depth of my affection for you.
Forever and always,
Gojo Satoru
P.S. I've been keeping a lookout for the perfect ring that will fit your delicate finger. I promise to find something as beautiful and unique as you are.
As usual, you should have felt the butterflies, but this time, there was nothing. Instead, a sense of unease gnawed at you, as if you were anticipating something ominous lurking around the corner.
"Lady? Is there anything wrong with the food? Should I inform the head chef?" a concerned maid inquired, her eyes scanning your face for any sign of distress.
Politely refusing the offer, you rose from your seat, intending to leave the room. However, before you could take another step, the ground seemed to shift beneath you, and you found yourself collapsing to the floor.
 The world spun around you before everything faded into darkness, the frantic voices of the maids fading into the distance as they rushed to your side, desperately trying to wake you from your unconscious state.
Later, after the maids hurriedly carried you to your room and summoned the clan doctor, it was announced that you had slipped into a coma with no indication of waking anytime soon.
**
Satoru leaned back against a sturdy tree, the cool bark pressing against his back as he gazed out into the distance. He had been here before, in this very spot, contemplating his next move before venturing into Shibuya. But this time, his thoughts were consumed by you, wondering if you had read the letter he had left for you.
He had imagined returning to you after completing his mission, ready to shower you with kisses and cuddles, and perhaps indulging in some sweets together. However, fate had other plans, and he found himself unable to fulfill those promises.
As Satoru contemplated his thoughts he entered the curtain in Shibuya, unaware of the unfolding events, his enemies seized the opportunity and managed to seal him away. Trapped in their grasp, he remained oblivious to the news of your sudden coma, the world continuing its relentless march forward while he lay imprisoned in darkness.
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Tags: @lavender-hvze
78 notes · View notes
shiin-ye · 15 hours
Text
𖥔.Sleep Medicine✧°. ݁ ˖
✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚
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✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚
☪︎ Summary : During the star plasma vessel escorting mission,Satoru receives a call...
☪︎ Warnings : Reader's death,fluff(?),angst ig
☪︎ a/n : I don't know what's wrong with my tumblr I've been wanting to post this for a few days now TvT
✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚
You take a deep breath as an attempt to calm down.
Failed.
"Alright..." You start the recorder and call Satoru. He picks up instantly.
"Hey. Missed me so bad that you couldn't wait till morning to hear my voice?" Exhaustion is evident is his voice,yet you feel him grinning on the other side.
"Oh,you got me." You chuckle weakly. "Why are you awake at this time?"
Pause.
"Well...it's a super special secret escorting mission,and I'm keeping watch."
"I see..." A groan escapes your lips as the pain strikes again.
"You okay?" Satoru says,his tone worried.
"Yeah...just...sprained my ankle."
"Ouch!" He laughs awkwardly.
Pause.
"How many nights you skipped sleep,Satoru?"
"This is the second and last one,I promise!"
Pause.
"Hey...Toru? Can I sing you to sleep?"
"But I should stay awake,y/n. Why so suddenly?"
"Nothing,just...missed you. You can put an alarm to wake up in a little while just...please..." Your voice trails off.
Pause.
"Okay. And just so you know,I missed you too y/n. Missed you so so so soooo much!"
You chuckle. "Thank you."
And then you start singing.
You sing him the same song you always sing to him whenever he has a headache because of his technique and six eyes or whenever he couldn't sleep.The pain strikes again,but you don't bother.You keep singing to him.
"I can't wait to see you again,y/n..." His voice is so quiet,barely above a whisper. "I love you,y/n,more than you could ever imagine..." His voice trails off,and it isn't long before you hear him snort sofly.
"Toru...I wish...I want you to be happy..." Your voice is weak. You push your palm to the side of your waist,where you wound is,and you see it's painted crimson in a matter of a few seconds.You take a deep,shaky breath before you continue. "I love your laughter,your smile,and even your stupid ego. I love your voice,your quiet 'I love you's before you fall asleep,your soft and steady breaths when you're sleeping and your calm pretty face when you snort softly. I love your smirk and grin whenever you're planning antics. I love how your crystal blue eyes and how they shine when you smile...please let them keep shining,okay? I love...I..."
Tears start blurring your vision. "I...I love you,Satoru. I love you so so so soooo much...more than you could ever imagine...always did and always will...so please,remember that..."You take another shaky deep breath. "Don't come over soon,okay? Can you do that for me?" You chuckle.
You then start humming the same song...until you can't. "Good night,Satoru. Sweet dreams..."
Pause.
"I love you,Satoru Gojo,forever and ever..."And with that,you stop the recording and send it to Satoru. You stay on the call,though. You listen to his steady breathing and soft snorts,until your eyelids fall shut,you lose complete control on your muscles,and the phone drops down.
✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚
Ten years later :
Satoru wakes up by the sound of his phone ringing. "Hello?" He says with a weak groan.
"Gojo? The results of the tests you asked for are ready."
"Okay...thanks Shoko..." He yawns. "I'll come get them soon."
"You were sleeping? How can you sleep?"
Satoru looks at the old phone in his hands and smiles. "Well..." He pauses the recorded voice message that was playing on a loop,over and over again. "I have a sleep medicine,a good one at that."
Shoko sighs. "Must be strong to make you fall sleep. Could you tell me the name of it? My other ones are losing their effect."
"Oh,I'm afraid this only works for me." He chuckles.
"Why? Is there a 'Only for Satoru Gojo' written in its description?"
Satoru looks at the old phone again and smiles. "Yeah...it's for me specifically."
✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚✧˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚˖°. ݁ ˖⋆.˚
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meiieiri · 3 hours
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 [gojo satoru]
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synopsis: in every other universe and lifetime he has yet to lead, megumi will always cherish the painfully brief time he felt the warmth of a proper family and would have gladly referred to himself as the son of the strongest.
pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader | song inspo: chemtrails over the country club, scott street | visuals: megumi’s jacket
warnings: angst-ish, canon-compliant violence (mostly caused by our pookie wookie megumi who doesn’t tolerate scumbag bullies), mentions of bullying, and possible (bc i’m delulu) character death. | a/n: i just want megumi to have one last moment with his dad please, gege, i’m on my knees here. also hehe, get the title? ya’ll get it? someone please shove that arctic-haired freak to the NORTH! 🥹
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Nobara Kugisaki is the classic definition of an Instagram girlie with a passion for fashion.
Honestly, she could appropriately appraise clothes without a second glance, and she could differentiate big fashion brands just by the fabric and silhouette alone even without a brand logo.
It happened on a Monday afternoon while she and Yuji were having a quick coffee in the lounge. Yuji is currently playing one of his Nintendo Switch MMORPG games that he bought from the mall last Saturday while Nobara was scrolling through her phone, swiping left as she watches her mutuals’ Instagram stories. The trio is incomplete today since Megumi mentioned he’ll be running some errands with you and Satoru today.
After positively getting envious of Mei Mei’s supposed extravagant shopping trip in Ginza today, Kugisaki promptly mutes any stories from her for a full twenty four hours. Then, as she swipes left yet again, she nearly drops her phone on the ground which would pretty much set her off on a rampage because she just got its LCD screen fixed. But luckily, she holds onto it.
“Fushiguro has an Instagram account?!”
Yuji himself hits pause on the game he’s playing and leans over the table to see what Kugisaki is talking about. No way. Fushiguro? That sulky, couldn’t-be-bothered-to-care-but-I-actually-do-care embodiment of teenage angst having an Instagram handle? What would he even post on there?
Their questions are answered as Fushiguro’s feed pops up, and it’s filled with his pictures, but that’s not the issue. The two dunderheads didn’t seem to mind that in every photo, Megumi looked like a magazine cover boy, what caught their attention is the apparel he’s wearing.
“What the hell?! He’s wearing Arc’teryx?” Kugisaki couldn’t believe it. She zooms in on the candid shot of Megumi in what looks to be a ski resort and an audible gasp escapes her throat. No way. No frigging way. She does a quick image search and sure enough, she is redirected to Arc’teryx’s official website. See? Kugisaki never misses when it comes to fashion.
Yuji’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets when he sees the price tag. “One thousand five hundred US dollars?!”
“And look at this! He’s literally tagged in Gojo and Y/N-sensei’s stories.”
Sure enough, the first they see is Satoru’s story which has a video of you picking out new clothes from the rack for Megumi to try on in the fitting room. You looked so cute and petite next to the teenager and Kugisaki giggles at the thought you walking around with two literal giants in the mall, one of them being your ward and the other, your arctic-haired husband of three years.
“There’s another one!” Itadori says excitedly. The next is a story you took, it’s a photo of Megumi and Gojo, their backs turned and their hands fully occupied by shopping bags, seemingly unaware of the camera. In the photo, they’re checking out new sneakers in Onitsuka Tiger’s storefront window. In a flash, Kugisaki switches off her phone, and immediately begins to head out the door. “Hey, where’re you going?”
Nobara knows that particular galleria, it should be in Tokyo Midtown. “Out, maybe I could borrow Gojo-sensei’s or Y/N-sensei’s credit card!”
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“Are you sure you don’t need me to come along?”
Gojo chuckles under his breath. It’s honestly amusing how you won’t normally ask that, given his newfound title as the strongest Jujutsu sorcerer of this generation. A skirmish with a grade two cursed spirit? Pfft. That’s practically child’s play to your white-haired boyfriend. A rogue grade one cursed spirit that turned out to be a special grade? Maybe you’ll sneak some bandages in his bag just in case. Bottom line is you wholeheartedly trust Satoru will always make it out of a mission in one piece.
But here you were seemingly more tense than usual which is incomprehensible because today’s hardly dangerous mission is simple.
Track down the son of Toji Fushiguro.
“I think I got it, babe.” Satoru leans his head in through the rolled down car window to plant a kiss on your forehead. He pats your cheek lovingly, setting off in the direction of the house after taking one last confirmatory look at the address written down in the file sheet. “Well, let’s hope he’s nothing like his dad. Promise you’ll check on me if I don’t come back in an hour?” he teases.
You lightly slap his wrist. Sometimes you wonder how you fell in love with this literal man-child. He’s just so insufferable. Gorgeous in every way but insufferable all the same. “I’m pretty sure a six-year-old boy isn’t gonna try to murder you. If he does, let the record show that I sympathize with him completely.”
“You meanie!”
Sticking his tongue out at you when you blow him a kiss, he disappears into the small street adjacent to the neighborhood’s main road. Coming here, Satoru was uncharacteristically nervous. At the rest stop earlier, you watched the scene tensely from the convenience store window. For once, the obnoxiously loud sorcerer was quiet, hands in his uniform pockets, his cerulean orbs trained on the pavement, his foot kicking the asphalt pebbles on the ground, deep in thought.
To be honest, he had no obligation to make the journey here even if this entire affair was born from Toji Fushiguro’s final words that sounded almost like a desperate plea. “In two or three years, my kid will be sold off to the Zenin clan. Do whatever you will with that.” Satoru doesn’t know why — he’s not exactly the brightest when it comes to his interpersonal relationship skills so he could be wrong about this — but those twenty one words sounded more like four simple words: “Please save my son.”
And so, in a matter of only thirty minutes, you spot Satoru from afar, his hand protectively around his would have been assassin’s six-year-old son as they walk back to the car. Looks like the little boy had made his choice.
And you could see with the way Satoru protectively held Megumi back from crossing the street on a green light that he has also made his choice. Just thirty minutes ago, you were bantering with the version of Satoru that would be reluctant to go out of his way to help someone, now, you were face to face with someone new, someone who has been changed almost in a blink of an eye.
Stepping out of the car, you make your way towards the pair, a faint smile on your lips at the sight of Megumi’s tiny backpack slung over Satoru’s shoulder. Your boyfriend gently nudges Megumi over in your direction, introducing him and you crouch down to meet the little boy’s hesitant eyes. “Hi there, Megumi.” Your voice is as carefully gentle as a psalm, you didn’t want to overwhelm him more than he probably already is. “I’m Y/N.”
“Hello.”
“Ice cold,” Satoru whistles, ruffling Megumi’s hair. But you figured that would be the case. A quiet breath of laughter comes from Satoru when you smile endearingly at the kid’s curtness.
As the three of you settle into the backseat, you and Satoru share a fond look when Megumi who has acted all guarded and silent the entire ride home from Chiba begins to drift off to sleep, his arms hugging his backpack but he was dangerously teetering off the seat, so Satoru gently picks him up, allowing him to lay his tiny head on his shoulder.
“He’s gonna stick around with us for a long time, huh?” you whispered, rubbing Megumi’s back as he slept soundly in Satoru’s arms, the three of yu blissfully unaware of just how much your life has changed. You came to Chiba and there was only you and Satoru, now, you were three. And though you know Satoru doesn’t intend to step in as a guardian, you could tell he was slowly settling into the inevitability of that fact. This boy needed a new start, a home, and people to guide him as he grew.
“…Yeah, he will,” Satoru answers, his eyes filled with wonder himself. Earlier when he first met Megumi, he told him to become strong enough to keep up with him.
But for now, maybe this was enough.
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For the most part, Megumi is a good kid.
He diligently helps you with the housework without needing to be told twice the same way he diligently trains under Gojo’s tutelage. He studies hard despite only being in primary school, and he’s well-mannered in every way…at least to you, the kid won’t pass up the opportunity to scowl and call Satoru a lanky freak when he’s being pestered by him.
Because he’s so young to be sleeping in Tokyo Jujutsu High’s dormitories, you and Satoru settled into the idea of renting an apartment near the campus premises. Since you and Satoru are eighteen years old now, it was high time that the two of you start growing into your roles as functional adults which means leasing an apartment, paying the bills, growing your careers and taking your relationship to the next level.
Of course, you and Satoru both piled in cash when it comes to raising Megumi. Satoru mostly shouldered rent, monthly utilities and Megumi’s tuition, being a rich guy like him, those were practically small beans to him. You, on the other hand, shouldered the groceries, Megumi’s clothes and other needs.
One day, while on your way to pick up Megumi, you pass by the trendy Daikanyama district due to a road closure leading to the Ebisu district where Megumi’s primary school is. The inconvenience is nothing short of serendipitous as you and your boyfriend really did need a quick breather and some time for yourselves.
“I feel like I’m gonna turn into a wine dad very soon. Who would have known enrolling a kid would be that tough?” Satoru huffs, his hand protectively around your waist as you walked past boutique after boutique. “Like how am I supposed to know what his blood type is for the school clinic record?”
You hummed, sneakily stealing a kiss from him to which he responds to by pulling you closer, and pretending to bite off your ear. “For all the school knew, Megumi is ours. That would explain why they felt a little icky towards us when they saw how young we are back in that parent-teacher meeting.”
“Mmph, fair point. A cute son will come from a handsome father after all—“
“—Oh please. You’re okay at best.”
“You didn’t say that last night when I had you all folde—“
“—Please do not finish that sentence in public.”
Digressing, Satoru sighs, planting a contrite kiss on your warm cheek as the two of you leisurely walk down the picturesque lane of Tokyo’s very own version of Soho. Once you reach the main road, a certain outerwear apparel store catches your eye. You stop in front of the store window, looking curiously at the displayed winter items. “Megumi’s birthday is coming up soon, no? We should get him something nice.”
“Hmm? Oh right, the 22nd is coming up,” Satoru hums thoughtfully, leading you inside the store. There, the two of you split up to look for a nice gift for Megumi. There, he is approached by a staff member who asks if he’s looking for anything in particular. Satoru clears his throat, nodding. “I’m looking to buy a gift for my son.”
Somehow, you heard that from across the store and you shoot Satoru an amused look when he refers to Megumi as ‘his son’.
“Right, and how old might he be? We have a batch of new arrivals that came in today. They’re perfect for kids aged four and above.” At that, you rejoin Satoru and the sales staff leads you to check out the items at the front of the store. You and Satoru sort through the rack and find one that the two of you agree on: a fleece two-toned gravel winter jacket.
After paying for it, the two of you rush to get to Ebisu elementary school. Making your way to the gate, Megumi instantly spots you and Satoru, the latter being very difficult to miss since he pretty much towered over everyone else.
“Hi, kid, d’you have fun today?” you crouch down to give Megumi a hug. Between you and Satoru, you were the more clingy one towards Megumi, there’s hardly any hesitation in your heart when you pull him in for a warm embrace or carry him in your arms. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind one bit, but if Satoru did any of the those things to him, he’ll probably headbut him.
“It was fine,” Megumi says shyly once you pull away. “Oh and I got a hundred on the math homework you helped me with.”
“You did?” you smiled. “I’m so proud of you, Megumi.” Satoru smiles, going to ruffle Megumi’s hair only for the little boy to duck away from his hand and hide behind you.
Chuckling at the kid’s antics, Satoru concedes, putting up his free hand in surrender while his other one held onto the gift bag you got. Megumi reads the name of the store: “The North Face”. Following Megumi’s gaze, Satoru grins, handing Megumi the bag. “Here, we got you something. Call it an advanced birthday gift.”
Megumi’s expression screamed: “You didn’t have to.” but you don’t miss the look of surprise and gratitude that shined through his features. You gently nudge him to open it and his breath hitches in his throat when he sees the gift you got him — the first gift he’s ever received.
“Happy birthday, Megumi,” you and Satoru greet the little boy, with Satoru helping Megumi to try it on.
That was the first time Megumi initiated a heartfelt hug and the first time he ever included Satoru, his little arms trying their hardest to include the two of you, so you decide to help him out, and your and Satoru’s arms engulf the little one.
“Thank you.”
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“I don’t know what happened, but I’m headed there now. Alright, see you soon. I love you.”
Everything happened so quickly. One minute you were in Tokyo Jujutsu High’s teacher lounge organizing the first years’ missions for the next few days when you receive a call from Ebisu elementary school, informing you that Megumi got into a horrible fight and was now in the school clinic ready to be picked up, the next you were dashing out the door hurrying over to the school with your heart pounding in your chest.
There, you are the quintessential picture of a frazzled mother looking for her son in the school clinic.
“Y/N!”
“Megumi,” you breathed, your eyebrows knitting together in worry. Gathering him into your arms, you sit on the tiny hospital bed. “What happened? They said you got into a fight? And where’s your jacket?” He was wearing the jacket you got for him this morning when you and Satoru dropped him off, actually, he’s been wearing it a lot, indicating it’s one of, if not his favorite jacket.
Before Megumi could even speak, it looks like the kid that he got into a tussle with had already tattled on him to his mother and now said mother is furiously berating you and Megumi, not caring if anyone else in the clinic could overhear the scandalous remarks she’s throwing your way.
“I want full disciplinary action against this boy!” the middle aged woman all but screeches to the school’s principal, pointing an accusatory finger at Megumi who doesn’t flinch but you hear him sniffle. He’s never been yelled at like that before.
“Ma’am, please, let’s settle this like two rational adults—“
“—Oh I will, I can’t say the same about you! Are you not the least bit ashamed that you couldn’t teach your son good morals?” She then theatrically goes to place her hands on her son’s shoulders. And you have to be honest, with that bruised lip of his alongside his bleeding nose, Megumi had done some serious damage to the boy.
“I — Megumi is a good kid, not once, have we ever seen him hit someone for no reason—“
“—So you’re saying it’s my son’s fault yours is emotionally unstable? This boy doesn’t need a good talking to, what he needs is psychological intervention!”
“Alright, can everyone just please calm down?” The principal, too, seems visibly uncomfortable with the vile words the other parent was spewing at you like machine gun fire. “We’re all here to fix the problem, not make it worse.”
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you could tell this conversation has reached an impasse. Clearly, there’s no way you could reach a mutual understanding of what should be done to resolve the issue.
The older woman looks at you in disdain, grumbling under her breath at the humiliation of being scolded, “What should I even expect from an irresponsible woman who got knocked up before she was even an adult?”
“Don’t you dare talk about my wife or my son that way.”
Megumi looks up, tears in his eyes when Satoru strides in, his normally shining blue eyes dark with a fury that cannot be quelled. You can’t even feel the butterflies that went wild in your stomach when he accidentally referred to you as ‘his wife’ without so much as a stutter because you’re honestly this close to chewing the vile woman out. It didn’t matter if she insulted you, but if she does so much as insult and make your boy cry, you and Satoru will give the weasel a matching patch on her scalp where there should have been hair had you not ripped it out.
But now was not the time to prove her right.
People have always judged you and Satoru for being acting parents at such a young age, often giving you rude stares when you’re out and about doing the most menial of things like shopping at the supermarket or spending some time in the kōen, people found your current situation disgusting, borderline immoral, which is why you initially had trouble looking for an elementary school that would properly entertain you, Satoru and Megumi and not dismiss you three as a bunch of kids playing house.
“Satoru…” you rub your boyfriend’s arm soothingly.
“Babe, she insulted you and ‘Gumi,” Satoru whispers sadly. “I can’t just let her do that.”
All of a sudden, Megumi’s voice cuts through the tension in the room. “Daisuke was being mean. He ruined Hana-chan’s project and made her cry.” At that, the kid named Daisuke bites his lip, his skin turning pallid at the revelation. “And when I told him to apologize, he and Kaito…” Megumi whimpers, trailing off. He averts his gaze from your and Satoru’s, feeling guilty.
“Megumi-kun? We found your jacket, it’s not too damaged, but you may want to have your mama and papa wash it when you get home.” The school nurse walks in and hands you the ruined jacket, it had been cut all over but since it’s fleece, the damage isn’t too bad, not only that, it had crayon marks all over it and it smelled of the dumpster.
“…Daisuke and Kaito ruined my jacket and I punched him,” Megumi sniffles. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t apologizing for punching Daisuke, that much you could tell, he was apologizing to you and Gojo for supposedly not taking care of the gift you two got him just last week.
The vile mother scoffs at your son’s apology. “Save your breath, you little liar—“
“—He wasn’t talking to you,” Satoru glares at the woman, effectively shutting her up. “Come on, we’re going home.” He gathers Megumi into his arms, being careful with him given his sprained wrist. You offer the principal a polite nod, indicating that you’ll cooperate with any sanction she seems fit for Megumi and Daisuke, before following Satoru and Megumi to the parking lot. You smiled sadly when you hear Satoru reassuring Megumi that you’ll just wash and mend the jacket once you get home to which, Megumi only buries his face in the crook of his father figure’s neck.
If there is one good thing that happened today, it’s the fact that you proved to yourself and to each other that, no one in this world is allowed to hurt or insult your family.
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Satoru wakes up to an empty bed and he doesn’t pretend to wonder where you are. He stays like that for a full minute, simply staring at the ceiling while your side of the bed slowly loses its warmth. He knows you’re hurting, and he knows just how much this entire ordeal has taken from you. First, you had to deal with him being sealed in the Prison Realm, now this…
You really just couldn’t catch a break, could you?
Slowly, Satoru gets up and pads across the hallway, entering a painfully familiar room. The owner of the room has only since recently moved out, but for ten years, this room is one he normally frequented with you, whether it be on Christmas mornings to greet the little prince that occupied such a special place in your heart or on nights when the three of you just simply needed to hold each other, searching for comfort, while you slept.
The door creaks open and Satoru’s eyes well up with tears, his heart plagued by the same emotional turmoil that was haunting you day in and day out. “I just want our boy to come home…I want our son back,” you cried as you held the jacket Megumi had outgrown, the same one he wore almost everyday that winter when he first came to live with you and Satoru.
Instantly, Satoru sits next to you on Megumi’s bed, hushing your cries, kissing away each agonizing tear that slipped from the confines of your sorrowful orbs.
“He must be so scared,” you sniffled, picturing Megumi in the darkest crevices of Sukuna’s soul, trapped and alone. “I don’t even know if he’s alright, if he’s even slept at all or if he’s being tormented by Sukuna day in and day out. What if he’s in pain? What if he’s cold?” you sobbed into your husband’s chest, your cries growing more desperate with each hour Megumi isn’t home safe.
“Shh, shh…I know, sweetheart…I’ll get him back, I promise I’ll bring him home.”
Or he’ll die trying.
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Somewhere in the void, Megumi Fushiguro is in a state of stasis. Is this what limbo feels like? He just wants to sleep, to give in and let Sukuna’s soul consume him.
No! He can’t give up, more than his desire to tap out and just live and let die…he wants to go home where he belongs.
You and Satoru must be so worried about him and he was worried too, what if something had happened out there while he was here? What if…something happened to the two of you when he hasn’t even done a thing to thank you both for all the love you’ve given him throughout these years?
“Mom…dad…please come get me.”
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omitea · 3 days
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𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄
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gojo satoru loves placing kisses anywhere his lips could reach. your forehead, your cheeks, your adorable nose. sometimes on your back when he’s trying to crush you or on your neck when he’s feeling all sappy. but the best part, are your lips.
your lips that still has that tingling taste of the mint toothpaste you used in the morning, your lips that form the quiet sentences of “i love you’s” . but most importantly the feeling of home. the very own home that you’ve built over the amazing years you’ve spent together. where all the memories resides. the soft feeling of your lips against his, smiling during the kiss.
you often grazed your fingers on the skin he used to kiss— trying to relive the moments after those were his last.
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©𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐀. please refrain from stealing my works !
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