#DBT

[bbygirl-obi]

"the jedi don't have therapists-"

jedi philosophy, and in particular the practices and teachings that jedi were expected to implement in their everyday lives, was therapy. dialectical behavior therapy (dbt), to be exact. anyone who's familiar with dbt knows where i'm already going with this, but like genuinely look up the basic tenets of dbt and it's identical with what the jedi were doing.

dbt, to put it simply, is a specific therapy technique that was designed for ptsd and past trauma. it's pretty different from traditional talk therapy. it combines a few different environments (individual, group, etc.), recognizing that no single format of treatment can stand alone.

the key focuses of dbt include:

emotional regulation- understanding, being more aware of, and having more control over your emotions

mindfulness- regulating attention and avoiding anxious fixation on the past or future

interpersonal effectiveness- navigating interpersonal situations

distress tolerance- tolerating distress and crises without spiraling and catastrophizing

i'm sure it's already clear from that list alone how much the jedi teachings correspond with the goals of dbt. the jedi value, teach, and practice the following:

identifying and understanding emotions

mindfulness and living in the present

compassion, diplomacy, and conflict resolution (on interpersonal scales, not just planetary or galactic)

accepting and tolerating certain levels of distress or discomfort (particularly mental, such as discomfort at the thought of losing a loved one to death)

idk man seems almost as if jedi mental health practices and dbt are two sides of a completely identical coin. (fun fact: both star wars and dbt are products of the 70s.)

and guess what? dbt was specifically designed as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. remember that one? or, if you don't, maybe you remember a specific character, the one who was literally used as an example by my professor in my undergrad psych class when she was teaching us about bpd?

tldr: simply existing within the jedi community, practicing jedi teachings, surrounded by a support network of other jedi of all life stages, was the therapy for anakin. even when viewed through a modern lens. it was even, more specifically, the precise type of therapy that has developed in modern times to treat the exact types of mental issues he was struggling with.

#dbt #dbt therapy #dbt skills #dialectical behavior therapy #bpd #borderline personality disorder #anakin skywalker #anakin #star wars #sw #prequel trilogy #prequels #jedi #jedi culture #jedi philosophy #pro jedi #jedi appreciation #jedi order #attachment #non attachment #mindfulness #in defense of the jedi

[brytning]

I was talking to my therapist about some anxiety symptoms --- "In my mind, I know I'm going to be perfectly okay, but my body doesn't listen and reacts anyway" --- and she recommended TIPP as strategies to keep in my toolbox of dealing with distress in the moment. I really appreciate having more than one option to try in moments of overwhelm!

Transcription below:

If you're feeling overwhelmed by anxiety or other strong emotions, TIPP is a set of techniques that use the body's natural physical responses to bring you back into balance.

TIPP stands for

temperature

intense exercise

paced breathing

progressive muscle relaxation

Temperature:

The body naturally lowers its heart rate in response to cold. If anxiety is making your heart race, try an ice pack, a cool washcloth, or a walk outside in cool weather, and it should help you calm down.

Intense exercise:

Anxiety is typically a symptom of your body going into fight/flight mode. If your body is coursing with nervous energy, burn it off with 10 minutes of jumping jacks, dancing, climbing stairs, or another cardio activity to complete the stress response cycle.

Paced breathing:

Deep, slow breathing from the belly can also help signal the body to come out of fight/flight mode. Try inhaling for a count of four and exhaling for a count of six until you feel more relaxed. (I like to hold the breath for a count of two between each inhale and exhale.)

Progressive muscle relaxation:

If anxiety makes your body tense up, try this. Start by squeezing the muscles in your toes and feet for five seconds, and then intentionally relax them. Move up to the calves, up your legs, and every region of your body to purposefully let go of extra energy.

When you're feeling overwhelmed, try one or more of these to see what works for you.

#self-care sunday #self-care #anxiety #anxiety relief #managing anxiety #dbt #tipp #mental health #mental health resources #stress

[violentviolette]

i think a lot of people would benefit from internalizing the reality that just because u had a negative emotion doesnt always mean someone else did something wrong

we can be hurt without someone else being to blame for being the epicenter of that hurt. just because something makes us upset or hurts us, doesnt mean the other person made a mistake or should have done something differently or needs to apologize

negative emotions are an inevitable part of life and sometimes they were always going to happen no matter what because of the situation and there was no way to avoid them and thats okay. sometimes there's nothing to be done to fix a negative emotion or prevent it from happening. sometimes people we love and care about are going to hurt us and thats okay. its a part of being human. we will inevitably do the same to them. but just because we were hurt doesnt mean they did something wrong.

and we can take the time and space to be upset about that privately without involving them in our emotions at all. because even when our emotions are triggered by someone else, that doesnt mean they have to answer for them

the world is not divided into victims and perpetrators and sometimes people hurt us when they do the right thing. sometimes everyone can do everything right and we can still get hurt and be upset. that doesnt make them bad people and it doesnt give us the right to blame them for it or hold them responsible

#jack.speaks #aspd #npd #bpd #hpd #cluster b #cluster b pd #cluster b personality disorder #dbt

[copperbadge]

RE watching thoughts: I’m not 100% sure, but it might be that the whole “I am not my thoughts” is about engaging and identifying with your metacognition MORE than your initial thoughts. Because I get where you’re coming from - what is a consciousness but a collection of thoughts and feelings? But you can also have thoughts about your own thoughts that are more useful for dealing with whatever situation you’re in, I guess. (Random aside - every time I start thinking about thinking about thinking my brain inevitably starts thinking about Tiffany Aching and The Wee Free Men.)

I really should have replied to this ask sooner because it's going to seem like a non-sequitur now (this was sent much earlier in March) but I'm kind of glad I didn't, because I've been chatting with people about this and I think I understand more why there's an emphasis in some therapies on the idea that we are not our thoughts.

(I uh, haven't read the Tiffany books so I'm not much help there.)

I am coming to understand that many, perhaps most, people judge themselves, comprehensively and harshly, based on their thoughts. Perhaps it's just a lot of people who struggle with mental health, but given the commonality of the sentiment I don't know if I'd confine it that tightly; generally it appears that people cannot conceive of themselves as anything other than a binary of good or bad. So many people I've talked to about this portion of DBT, the watching-questioning-identifying thoughts portion, say that it helps to snap them out of a spiral of "I'm a horrible person, I deserve to suffer/die, I can never be redeemed" after they've failed at something, or had a negative thought, or reacted poorly to an unexpected event.

That is not something I've ever experienced. I mean, jokingly maybe, but not in a real, internal sense.

And that's not to brag -- I'm not saying I think I'm a good person, either, because I don't think I'm a good person. I don't conceive of myself in terms of good or bad. I never cuddle my cats and think "I'm such a good cat dad" or forget to feed them and think "I should die now." I have a perpetual morally neutral attitude towards my own existence; my thoughts and actions might trend me one direction or another but I'm aware of the temporary nature of that. If I fuck up I'll worry about who I might have hurt or whether I'll be fired or what's going to happen as a consequence, if I am polite to someone who didn't deserve it I know I was acting kindly in the moment, but I don't make an inherent moral judgement of myself based on that. And it seems like the vast majority of people do. Which you would think would make me feel pretty good about myself, but honestly...I don't know.

A lot of people I know who have ADHD or are Autistic have talked about seeing themselves as other, as alien -- like that one webcomic artist who draws themself with little antennae to indicate they're strange and different. I've always understood why one might do that, but I never felt that way myself, before or after the diagnosis. After all, let's remember, I was The Normal* Child of my siblings, and if I was The Normal One before the diagnosis, why wouldn't I remain Mostly Normal after?

* As ever, I'm using "normal" as a cultural term, to indicate what we think of as mainstream, not because normal is a thing that really exists.

My life has been relatively solitary -- I have friends and family and I love them but I'm rarely part of a large group, I don't spend a lot of time out in public interacting with people, I'm not a big socializer. Before the Adderall, I really couldn't be, I took too much psychic damage from interpersonal interaction, so I chose those very carefully. And now my DBT class has been a rare moment when I'm encountering contradictions to a lot of my assumptions about the way human beings in our society interact, react, and behave. I just...don't fit that mold very well. I think of it as having crossed wiring, not in the sense that I'm faulty but just in the sense that I'm very, very different. Not Normal. It's not exactly a bad feeling but it's certainly not a great one, internalizing the sensation of alienness.

DBT is proving to be a mixed bag but not in the way I or my therapist intended -- it seems to be either things I was already instinctively doing or things that simply do not apply to me. In one way it's disappointing because it means there isn't much help to be had (we're a little over halfway through the course and I keep thinking "Maybe next class will be useful") but on the other hand it's validating that so much of what I came up with myself as unconscious coping mechanisms is literally what I would have been told to do anyway.

Sometimes it's a combination of both, though, which really blows. I guess most people, if they reframe another person's actions, actually find emotional relief in that, and I don't. An example from the class is that if someone is rude to you, you can consider how they might be having a hard day, and be polite in return; that's great, in terms of defusing a situation, and it's something I do a fair amount of. But apparently it's also something that for most people results in feeling less awful about the interaction, and that's not the case for me. Which is why so much of DBT feels to me like lying to oneself. It's not lying for most people.

So, yeah. I'm going to finish out the course and keep trying things with the therapist but I suspect given everything, I might already be at "as good as it gets" in terms of emotional work. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, and there is still the option to try medication that could help, but I think there will come a point where I'm going to have to deal with the fallout of just how different I am, and how that has impacted my life. Might end up a good thing; something I've really been trying to resolve is unhappiness over being unpartnered and highly likely to remain that way, and at least if this provides a better understanding of why, then perhaps I can process that and put it to rest in a way I've been trying to do but not succeeding well at.

So, we'll see. But I find it both fascinating and kind of horrifying how many people can believe they are irredeemably bad, even if the belief is only temporary, simply because they had an uncharitable thought or impulse. It makes me somewhat grateful for the crossed wires, at least.

#sam has adhd #therapy #dbt

[moonlit-positivity]

Emotional Regulation- what's it all about?

Emotional regulation is the work of releasing pent up stress from your nervous system.

Your body has an entire system of automatic stress responses. Some of which can be born out of hard wired prolonged exposure to trauma in our childhoods.

With no proper regulation from our abusive & neglectful parents, many of us are still stuck in these same fear responses from our childhoods. Which means a lot of that fear, sadness, guilt, and shame, reappears in the form of how we cope now as an adult.

By learning how to recognize which state of survival you're in- and you can be in all states at different times and triggers- you can then work on giving your body a more directed route to releasing the pent up exhaustion, fear, tension, and panic.

Which in turn gives us more room to breathe easier when we are feeling stress, panicked, and triggered.

There are many techniques to help with emotional regulation. Somatics is the practice of moving your body to release the energy.

This is why everyone will scream yoga and exercise at you. But its not just limited to those two types of movements.

If you are bed bound, somatics can be as simple as raising your arms, lifting your legs, and rolling your neck.

The key idea is to recognize when you're overwhelmed, panicked, and triggered in your day to day life. Work real hard on bringing these moments into your awareness. What are your thoughts like? What are your reactions?

From there we work to integrate a basic somatic framework over time. This can look like working hard to incorporate some form of comfort, movement, and acceptance for the physical discomforts of these moments.

A basic framework can include:

Butterfly hugs (put ur hand over ur heart)

Self hugs

Hold your shoulders

Rub your shoulders, arms, tummy, and legs

Lift ur shoulders, shake ur arms, clench ur fists

Wiggle in ur seat

Raise ur legs, stomp your feet gently in place, roll ur ankles

Deep breathing

Groaning, sighing, screaming, making noise

Humming or singing

Outwardly showing emotions on your face

Cold/warm compress or towel

Weighted blankets or comfort items

Sensory stems

These are just a few examples. You can literally do whatever types of movements that feel natural for you.

The secondary idea of emotional regulation is self expression.

That's why it's okay to groan and scream and be loud and expressive in these moments, if you need to. Remember that most often panic attacks, stress, anxiety, and triggers are deeply emotional responses to very personal scenarios and traumas that we have endured in our past. Some of these fears stem from some really scary places. It makes a lot of sense that you might need to scream, cower in fear, or use facial expressions in these moments.

Oftentimes in abusive environments we are restrained from doing so by our abusers. When in reality, these are the standard reactions for what we went through. These are the types of reactions that our bodies are repressing.

It can feel overwhelming to think about acting in such ways, especially if you're not able to practice these in peace, solitude, and safety. But please know that how you cope is an extremely personal and extremely precious part of who you are. Do whatever you need to do for your health and safety and stability and peace of mind. That should be the main goal.

One last thing about emotional regulation to remember, is that the goal is to not be "happy" or at a "peaceful baseline" all the time.

The goal is to allow the anger, allow the sadness and grief and all other emotional signals in-- and then express them in healthier ways than what you're doing now.

Because at the end of the day, groaning and pitching an intended hissy fit in the privacy and safety of your own home, is a much better and healthier way to cope than hurting yourself.

Allow your inner teen the proper emotional outlets your parents stole from you.

This is the work of emotional regulation.

[self regulation chart source- primaltrust-official]

"The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) communicates to us through our feelings and our sensations in the body. By learning how to recognize our ANS states, we can become better equipped with knowing what we can do to help ourselves in times of discomfort or distress.

Many people are aware of the fight/flight state, but there is often confusion with freeze and shut down states, which are actually different.

Dorsal vagal shutdown is a state of parasympathetic collapse, and because of this, a little movement and stimulation of the vagus nerve (since this nerve governs the parasympathetic response) is helpful. On the other hand, a freeze state is a mixture of sympathetic and parasympathetic (the dorsal vagal shutdown) immobilization, which to our nervous system is like having a foot on the gas and a foot on the brakes at the same time. In this state, the nervous system needs to be shown safety, so it can come out of paralysis, relax and then move energy as needed.

A telltale physical sign of being in freeze is having very tight, sore muscles, or noticing you are 'bracing' in your body, as if preparing for impact. Panic attacks can also occur in the state, which is a step beyond the anxiety experienced and fight/flight.

The aim of all the suggested exercises in this post is to help the body come into a healthy (not dorsal vagal shutdown!) parasympathetic state- ventral vagal- but to get there, you might journey from freeze to fight/flight for example, or dorsal vagal to fight/flight. This is very normal and can be explained wonderfully by the Polyvagal Ladder (see the teachings of Deb Dana for more). The goal is to not be in ventral vagal all the time. Our nervous system is highly intelligent and will flow between states as needed, thus the aim is to allow this flow, versus getting stuck in any shut down, freeze, or fight/flight state for too long."

[C-PTSD symptom wheel source- Lindsay Braman]

"This new C-PTSD symptom wheel resource is a tool for education and for advocacy.

The World Health Organization's diagnostic criteria for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are split into 8 distinct categories. These categories were mapped by Dr. Wei-May Su and Dr. Louise Stone in an Australian medical journal in 2020. Simplifying and then building off their work* to highlight specific ways these symptom categories show up in a survivor's life, I've created this radial chart showing how the constellation of symptoms experienced by survivors of complex trauma can be organized under the heading of C-PTSD.

I often avoid creating art that can be used for diagnosis or self-diagnosis, but the fact is, resources and awareness are desperately needed on the topic of C-PTSD. See, although it has been recognized by the World Health organization since 2020, the USA's diagnostic manual, the DSM-5, doesn't include C-PTSD. Because it's omitted from the DSM, many therapists aren't trained to recognize it or treat it. Insurance won't cover treatment, and too often people get misdiagnosed and given ineffective treatments.

Historically, mental health providers haven't done a great job of understanding and categorizing experiences of complex trauma survivors, but through education and advocacy, we can change that."

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #cptsd #actually traumatized #trauma awareness #trauma informed #emotions #bpd #actually borderline #mental health resources #resources #emotional regulation #dbt #somatics #trauma therapy #self help #self care #anxiety #depression

[bpdwarri0r]

Dear little me🤍

#trauma #eupd #complex ptsd #therapy #dbt #mental health

[ineedfairypee]

B roll 🧻

#mental health #mental health memes #mentalhealthmemes #mental health matters #mean girls #mean girls meme #mean girls edit #memes #oc #oc meme #healing journey #dbt #therapy #therapy memes #healing #recovery memes #toxic shame #mental health awareness #dbt therapy #mental health recovery #coping mechanism #vulnerable #vulnerability #fear #shame #dbt skills #recoverymemes #recovery #ineedfairypee #fairypeememes

[borderlinereminders]

Definition Post for DBT skills

I am going to constantly update this post, so feel free to check back! Please note that some of the skills link to more detailed posts I've written on the topic (these ones are underlined because of the hyperlink). Some of them are Tumblr posts, and some of them are posts on my personal website (this site has no ads and is safe to use.) If there's a skill you want me to add to the list, let me know. If there's one you want to see described in more detail, feel free to request that one too. The ones I describe in detail tend to have examples to try and assist in understanding the skill.

Mindfulness: 

These skills focus on being present in the moment. Usually, it focuses on encouraging you to connect with yourself and others. 

Some mindfulness skills are:  What Skills:

Observe - Observe what is happening without reacting or adding commentary. For example, you might listen to the sounds around you and listen to what those sounds are without adding any additional comments. The goal is to focus on the here and now. 

Describe - When a feeling or thought arises, describe what is taking place to yourself, and label your feelings.. Let them go and don't dwell on them (don't judge them).

Participate - Fully immerse yourself in the activity and don't focus on other things.

How Skills

Effectively: Focusing on what works rather than focusing on what should happen, and what's right or fair.

Non-Judgmentally: This is about observing something, acknowledging it and then letting it go without attaching any opinions, judgements or guilt to it. Even if you have a judgmental thought, once you observe that thought, you let it go without beating yourself up for having it.

One-Mindful- This is the act of focusing on one thing at a time. This is being fully present in the moment with your focus on only one thing. 

Why Skills

Urge Surfing - The goal is to basically “ride the wave” until the urge passes, and over time, your brain will learn that it doesn’t need to react to urges. 

Wise Mind - The goal of this skill is to balance your emotional mind and your reasonable mind. This link also brings you to a worksheet I made.

Tolerance:

These skills focus on surviving an immediate emotional crisis. 

ACCEPTS - Focuses on distracting with: Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, Sensations

Grounding - The goal of grounding is to get you in the here and now. This can be especially helpful for overwhelming emotions, anxiety, panic, flashbacks and other situations. See the 5-4-3-2-1 method here.

Pros/Cons - Describe the behaviour you are trying to avoid. Consider the positive consequences (pros) of avoiding that behaviour. Consider the negative consequences (cons) of giving into the urge for that behaviour. Remember consequences from past times acting on those urges, and consider whether they would be pros or cons of doing it again. This can also be used to decide between two actions (or more).  This link also has a worksheet.

Radical Acceptance - The goal of radical acceptance is to accept our feelings, even the negative ones, and not push them down.

RESISTT - This skill is meant to help deal with overwhelming emotions. Reframing the situation. Engage in a distracting activity. Someone else. Intense sensations. Shut it out. Think neutral thoughts. Take a break. 

Self Soothing

STOP - Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed Mindfully

TIPP - Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Emotion:

These skills focus on understanding the function of emotions. 

ABC - Accumulate positive emotions/experiences by actively doing things we will enjoy (eg. watch a movie, go window shopping), Build mastery in new skills (eg. playing an instrument, doing a puzzle), Cope ahead by planning for events we expect will be difficult (eg. a job interview, an upcoming social event). 

Check the facts - This is about examining your feelings in a situation and the facts of that situation, and rationally considering whether your feeling response (and the intensity of it) is reasonable given the facts.

Opposite action - Recognize your emotional response to a situation and the action you instinctively wish to take as a reaction to it, and instead do whatever is the opposite of that action (for instance, going out and doing something positive when you feel like staying in and dwelling on something making you sad).

PLEASE - treat PhysicaL illness, balance Eating, avoid mood-Alerting drugs, Sleep,  Exercise. 

Interpersonal: 

These skills focus on getting what you need from other people, building healthier relationships and communication styles, and dealing with boundaries and toxic relationships. ​

DEAR MAN - Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate 

FAST - Be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful

GIVE - be Gentle, act Interested, be Validating, keep an Easy manner

#dbt #skills #dbt skills #masterpost #faq

[red-umbrella-811]

This one’s for all my friends on here with problems.

If you’re having a trauma or anxiety episode, if you’re thinking about killing yourself, you just need to make it through tonight. The morning won’t make everything good, but things will be better.

Do what you need to do. If you’re struggling to make it through this moment, there are things like exercise for anxiety, cold water on the face for anxiety or flashbacks, other distress tolerance skills. Use your skills, white knuckle it. Don’t use substances or behaviors. Surf the urge.

Try to get some sleep. It’ll be better if you do, but the morning will still be better than the night if you don’t. If you can’t sleep, see if you can lie down and listen to or watch something comforting, maybe with your eyes closed.

If you can’t do that, see if you can be kind to yourself. Maybe that feels natural right now, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you don’t deserve it. Try it anyway. If there’s some cosmic (or literal) debt to be paid for it, you can pay it in the morning.

Try to be kind. If you can eat, eat something comforting. If you’re in a bed or couch, maybe curl up with a soft blanket or stuffed animal. Smell something that smells like home.

This isn’t about solving the problem, this is about getting you to a place where solving the problem might be possible. It’ll probably take more than a night. But right now, we’re just making it through to see the sun again.

#mental health #suicide #suicidal ideation #panic attack #depression #anxiety #ptsd #mental illness #coping skills #distress tolerance #mental distress #DBT #ptsd recovery #ptsd thoughts #anxiety attack #addiction #eating disoder recovery #alcoholism #substance use disorder

[eliserzilber]

TIPP

Use this skill when you are overwhelmed by intense emotions or are feeling the urge to self-injure.

*If you’re in crisis and are having suicidal thoughts please call a Crisis Hotline! (Call 988 in the US)

T - Temperature: To relax fast or distract your mind with sensation, hold an ice pack to your cheeks or eyes or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water for at least 30 seconds to activate your Diver Reflex*.

*If you have high blood pressure, talk to your doctor before trying.

I - Intense Exercise: Doing a few minutes of vigorous exercise will release Endorphins. Try a few minutes of Jumping Jacks or running in place (or around the block). Play your favorite fast paced song and dance it out.

P - Paced Breathing: Breathe deeply into your belly, expanding your lungs as much as you can. Pace your inhales and exhales to 5-6 per minute. Then make your exhales longer than your inhales (5 seconds in, 7 seconds out).

*Try a 60 bpm Metronome track from your music streaming app or YouTube for pacing.

P - Paired Muscle Relaxation: Breathing deeply, tense your muscles (not so much that you cramp up) section by section, move your focus from your feet up your body. Tense up with every inhale, relaxing and melting with every exhale.

*More DBT guides here*

#dbt #dbt guide #dbt skill #dbt skills #dialectical behavior therapy #therapy #resource #resources #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #bpd #borderline pd #borderline personality #bpd life #bpd problems #bpd shit #bpd stuff #crisis plan #crisis management #distress #tolerance #distress tolerance #TIPP #tipp skill

[elainiisms]

#dbt #dbt therapy #dialectical behavior therapy #bpd #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #bpd meme #bpd mood #bpd shit

[mrstengenuzui]

🩷💙

#ptsd recovery #recovery #ptsd #positive quotes #floral design #positivevibes #positive affirmations #dbt #dbt skills #therapy

[eddieelliotmunson]

Hi! I saw your ask to schizopositivity, and if this is incredibly unwanted feel free to just delete it.

I have schizophrenia & I found DBT to be miles more helpful for these traits than CBT.

If you can find a good DBT therapist and/or group, I highly recommend it. The hands on approach helped me learn how to cope with very specific issues I had, instead of just talking it out with someone who doesn’t really know how to help. DBT, imo, is all about learning to cope and it changed my life.

Wishing the best either way !

Wow, really? I hadn't thought about DBT for schizo-spec disorders. I know my therapist helps a lot of people with BPD, so she knows quite a bit about DBT. I could ask if we could do some more DBT skills.

Thank you so much!

#schizoaffective disorder #schizoaffective #schizophrenia #schizospec #dbt #therapy

[smeetlinglord]

STOP living your life in accordance to other people’s approval of you. START living your life in accordance to your approval of you. Do you like yourself? Do you like things you say and do? What do you want out of the people around you? What things can you do to help make your life easier? What things make you happy? Cease looking for someone else’s answer to those questions, and start answering them yourself.

#dbt skills #dbt #dbt therapy #dialectical behavior therapy #therapy #life skills #building a life #life worth living #get some rest #op #advice

[conscious-love]

You don’t build psychological resilience by feeling good all the time. You build psychological resilience by getting good at feeling bad.

Mark Manson

#Mark Manson #markmanson #resilience #emotional resilience #psychological resilience #emotions #feelings #emotional regulation #strength #emotional intelligence #therapy #personal growth #self help #coping with emotions #self regulation #dbt #dialectical behaviour therapy #exposure therapy

[borderlinereminders]

Radical Acceptance is basically about accepting our feelings, without pushing them down, even the negative ones.

It means accepting reality and feelings for what they are, though it doesn't mean you don't want to change them.

Here's an example (This is a "small" situation because I think this is best started with a more manageable circumstance first.):

Step 1 - Think of a situation that you have feelings about. (Note that I don't recommend trying this with traumatic events to start which is why I've used the example below.)

Example: Yesterday I embarrassed myself in front of the cashier at the store when she said "Here's your receipt" and I said "thanks, you too!" This has heightened my anxiety about future situations where I need to talk to a stranger.

Step 2 - What caused the event? Stick to facts and don't make judgements about something you've done.

Example: I was distracted by feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood what she was saying.

Step 3 - Accepting the feelings. What emotions do you feel when you think back on this event? Try and be open about this and note any physical changes you might feel like your heart beat increasing.

Example: I feel embarrassed when I think back on it and it makes my hands a little sweaty.

Step 4 - The plan. This is where you come up with a plan on how to handle the situation and/or its effects. If you are not significantly affected by the situation, the acceptance steps may be enough. The DBT skill "Wise Mind" might be a good skill to use when coming up with a plan

Example: I can use rational thoughts to help me navigate this. Realistically, she probably talks to dozens of people a day. She also unfortunately probably deals with a lot of rude people that are more likely to stay on her mind rather than my little mix up with words. If anything, maybe it was refreshing for her because I was polite and chipper with her and maybe she felt the positive effects of that mood I was trying to convey.

Here are some coping thoughts that may help:

I do not have control of the past, only this current moment.

Ignoring my emotions only allows them to fester and continue to bother me.

This is uncomfortable, but I am going to get through this.

#radical acceptance #dbt