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#dbt
bbygirl-obi · 7 months
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"the jedi don't have therapists-"
jedi philosophy, and in particular the practices and teachings that jedi were expected to implement in their everyday lives, was therapy. dialectical behavior therapy (dbt), to be exact. anyone who's familiar with dbt knows where i'm already going with this, but like genuinely look up the basic tenets of dbt and it's identical with what the jedi were doing.
dbt, to put it simply, is a specific therapy technique that was designed for ptsd and past trauma. it's pretty different from traditional talk therapy. it combines a few different environments (individual, group, etc.), recognizing that no single format of treatment can stand alone.
the key focuses of dbt include:
emotional regulation- understanding, being more aware of, and having more control over your emotions
mindfulness- regulating attention and avoiding anxious fixation on the past or future
interpersonal effectiveness- navigating interpersonal situations
distress tolerance- tolerating distress and crises without spiraling and catastrophizing
i'm sure it's already clear from that list alone how much the jedi teachings correspond with the goals of dbt. the jedi value, teach, and practice the following:
identifying and understanding emotions
mindfulness and living in the present
compassion, diplomacy, and conflict resolution (on interpersonal scales, not just planetary or galactic)
accepting and tolerating certain levels of distress or discomfort (particularly mental, such as discomfort at the thought of losing a loved one to death)
idk man seems almost as if jedi mental health practices and dbt are two sides of a completely identical coin. (fun fact: both star wars and dbt are products of the 70s.)
and guess what? dbt was specifically designed as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. remember that one? or, if you don't, maybe you remember a specific character, the one who was literally used as an example by my professor in my undergrad psych class when she was teaching us about bpd?
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tldr: simply existing within the jedi community, practicing jedi teachings, surrounded by a support network of other jedi of all life stages, was the therapy for anakin. even when viewed through a modern lens. it was even, more specifically, the precise type of therapy that has developed in modern times to treat the exact types of mental issues he was struggling with.
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brytning · 2 years
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I was talking to my therapist about some anxiety symptoms --- "In my mind, I know I'm going to be perfectly okay, but my body doesn't listen and reacts anyway" --- and she recommended TIPP as strategies to keep in my toolbox of dealing with distress in the moment. I really appreciate having more than one option to try in moments of overwhelm!
Transcription below:
If you're feeling overwhelmed by anxiety or other strong emotions, TIPP is a set of techniques that use the body's natural physical responses to bring you back into balance.
TIPP stands for
temperature
intense exercise
paced breathing
progressive muscle relaxation
Temperature:
The body naturally lowers its heart rate in response to cold. If anxiety is making your heart race, try an ice pack, a cool washcloth, or a walk outside in cool weather, and it should help you calm down.
Intense exercise:
Anxiety is typically a symptom of your body going into fight/flight mode. If your body is coursing with nervous energy, burn it off with 10 minutes of jumping jacks, dancing, climbing stairs, or another cardio activity to complete the stress response cycle.
Paced breathing:
Deep, slow breathing from the belly can also help signal the body to come out of fight/flight mode. Try inhaling for a count of four and exhaling for a count of six until you feel more relaxed. (I like to hold the breath for a count of two between each inhale and exhale.)
Progressive muscle relaxation:
If anxiety makes your body tense up, try this. Start by squeezing the muscles in your toes and feet for five seconds, and then intentionally relax them. Move up to the calves, up your legs, and every region of your body to purposefully let go of extra energy.
When you're feeling overwhelmed, try one or more of these to see what works for you.
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violentviolette · 1 year
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i think a lot of people would benefit from internalizing the reality that just because u had a negative emotion doesnt always mean someone else did something wrong
we can be hurt without someone else being to blame for being the epicenter of that hurt. just because something makes us upset or hurts us, doesnt mean the other person made a mistake or should have done something differently or needs to apologize
negative emotions are an inevitable part of life and sometimes they were always going to happen no matter what because of the situation and there was no way to avoid them and thats okay. sometimes there's nothing to be done to fix a negative emotion or prevent it from happening. sometimes people we love and care about are going to hurt us and thats okay. its a part of being human. we will inevitably do the same to them. but just because we were hurt doesnt mean they did something wrong.
and we can take the time and space to be upset about that privately without involving them in our emotions at all. because even when our emotions are triggered by someone else, that doesnt mean they have to answer for them
the world is not divided into victims and perpetrators and sometimes people hurt us when they do the right thing. sometimes everyone can do everything right and we can still get hurt and be upset. that doesnt make them bad people and it doesnt give us the right to blame them for it or hold them responsible
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copperbadge · 6 days
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RE watching thoughts: I’m not 100% sure, but it might be that the whole “I am not my thoughts” is about engaging and identifying with your metacognition MORE than your initial thoughts. Because I get where you’re coming from - what is a consciousness but a collection of thoughts and feelings? But you can also have thoughts about your own thoughts that are more useful for dealing with whatever situation you’re in, I guess. (Random aside - every time I start thinking about thinking about thinking my brain inevitably starts thinking about Tiffany Aching and The Wee Free Men.)
I really should have replied to this ask sooner because it's going to seem like a non-sequitur now (this was sent much earlier in March) but I'm kind of glad I didn't, because I've been chatting with people about this and I think I understand more why there's an emphasis in some therapies on the idea that we are not our thoughts.
(I uh, haven't read the Tiffany books so I'm not much help there.)
I am coming to understand that many, perhaps most, people judge themselves, comprehensively and harshly, based on their thoughts. Perhaps it's just a lot of people who struggle with mental health, but given the commonality of the sentiment I don't know if I'd confine it that tightly; generally it appears that people cannot conceive of themselves as anything other than a binary of good or bad. So many people I've talked to about this portion of DBT, the watching-questioning-identifying thoughts portion, say that it helps to snap them out of a spiral of "I'm a horrible person, I deserve to suffer/die, I can never be redeemed" after they've failed at something, or had a negative thought, or reacted poorly to an unexpected event.
That is not something I've ever experienced. I mean, jokingly maybe, but not in a real, internal sense.
And that's not to brag -- I'm not saying I think I'm a good person, either, because I don't think I'm a good person. I don't conceive of myself in terms of good or bad. I never cuddle my cats and think "I'm such a good cat dad" or forget to feed them and think "I should die now." I have a perpetual morally neutral attitude towards my own existence; my thoughts and actions might trend me one direction or another but I'm aware of the temporary nature of that. If I fuck up I'll worry about who I might have hurt or whether I'll be fired or what's going to happen as a consequence, if I am polite to someone who didn't deserve it I know I was acting kindly in the moment, but I don't make an inherent moral judgement of myself based on that. And it seems like the vast majority of people do. Which you would think would make me feel pretty good about myself, but honestly...I don't know.
A lot of people I know who have ADHD or are Autistic have talked about seeing themselves as other, as alien -- like that one webcomic artist who draws themself with little antennae to indicate they're strange and different. I've always understood why one might do that, but I never felt that way myself, before or after the diagnosis. After all, let's remember, I was The Normal* Child of my siblings, and if I was The Normal One before the diagnosis, why wouldn't I remain Mostly Normal after?
* As ever, I'm using "normal" as a cultural term, to indicate what we think of as mainstream, not because normal is a thing that really exists.
My life has been relatively solitary -- I have friends and family and I love them but I'm rarely part of a large group, I don't spend a lot of time out in public interacting with people, I'm not a big socializer. Before the Adderall, I really couldn't be, I took too much psychic damage from interpersonal interaction, so I chose those very carefully. And now my DBT class has been a rare moment when I'm encountering contradictions to a lot of my assumptions about the way human beings in our society interact, react, and behave. I just...don't fit that mold very well. I think of it as having crossed wiring, not in the sense that I'm faulty but just in the sense that I'm very, very different. Not Normal. It's not exactly a bad feeling but it's certainly not a great one, internalizing the sensation of alienness.
DBT is proving to be a mixed bag but not in the way I or my therapist intended -- it seems to be either things I was already instinctively doing or things that simply do not apply to me. In one way it's disappointing because it means there isn't much help to be had (we're a little over halfway through the course and I keep thinking "Maybe next class will be useful") but on the other hand it's validating that so much of what I came up with myself as unconscious coping mechanisms is literally what I would have been told to do anyway.
Sometimes it's a combination of both, though, which really blows. I guess most people, if they reframe another person's actions, actually find emotional relief in that, and I don't. An example from the class is that if someone is rude to you, you can consider how they might be having a hard day, and be polite in return; that's great, in terms of defusing a situation, and it's something I do a fair amount of. But apparently it's also something that for most people results in feeling less awful about the interaction, and that's not the case for me. Which is why so much of DBT feels to me like lying to oneself. It's not lying for most people.
So, yeah. I'm going to finish out the course and keep trying things with the therapist but I suspect given everything, I might already be at "as good as it gets" in terms of emotional work. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, and there is still the option to try medication that could help, but I think there will come a point where I'm going to have to deal with the fallout of just how different I am, and how that has impacted my life. Might end up a good thing; something I've really been trying to resolve is unhappiness over being unpartnered and highly likely to remain that way, and at least if this provides a better understanding of why, then perhaps I can process that and put it to rest in a way I've been trying to do but not succeeding well at.
So, we'll see. But I find it both fascinating and kind of horrifying how many people can believe they are irredeemably bad, even if the belief is only temporary, simply because they had an uncharitable thought or impulse. It makes me somewhat grateful for the crossed wires, at least.
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bpdwarri0r · 2 years
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Dear little me🤍
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borderlinereminders · 2 years
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Definition Post for DBT skills
I am going to constantly update this post, so feel free to check back! Please note that some of the skills link to more detailed posts I've written on the topic (these ones are underlined because of the hyperlink). Some of them are Tumblr posts, and some of them are posts on my personal website (this site has no ads and is safe to use.) If there's a skill you want me to add to the list, let me know. If there's one you want to see described in more detail, feel free to request that one too. The ones I describe in detail tend to have examples to try and assist in understanding the skill.
Mindfulness: 
These skills focus on being present in the moment. Usually, it focuses on encouraging you to connect with yourself and others. 
Some mindfulness skills are:  What Skills:
Observe - Observe what is happening without reacting or adding commentary. For example, you might listen to the sounds around you and listen to what those sounds are without adding any additional comments. The goal is to focus on the here and now. 
Describe - When a feeling or thought arises, describe what is taking place to yourself, and label your feelings.. Let them go and don't dwell on them (don't judge them).
Participate - Fully immerse yourself in the activity and don't focus on other things.
How Skills
Effectively: Focusing on what works rather than focusing on what should happen, and what's right or fair.
Non-Judgmentally: This is about observing something, acknowledging it and then letting it go without attaching any opinions, judgements or guilt to it. Even if you have a judgmental thought, once you observe that thought, you let it go without beating yourself up for having it.
One-Mindful- This is the act of focusing on one thing at a time. This is being fully present in the moment with your focus on only one thing. 
Why Skills
Urge Surfing - The goal is to basically “ride the wave” until the urge passes, and over time, your brain will learn that it doesn’t need to react to urges. 
Wise Mind - The goal of this skill is to balance your emotional mind and your reasonable mind. This link also brings you to a worksheet I made.
Tolerance:
These skills focus on surviving an immediate emotional crisis. 
ACCEPTS - Focuses on distracting with: Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions, Pushing away, Thoughts, Sensations
Grounding - The goal of grounding is to get you in the here and now. This can be especially helpful for overwhelming emotions, anxiety, panic, flashbacks and other situations. See the 5-4-3-2-1 method here.
Pros/Cons - Describe the behaviour you are trying to avoid. Consider the positive consequences (pros) of avoiding that behaviour. Consider the negative consequences (cons) of giving into the urge for that behaviour. Remember consequences from past times acting on those urges, and consider whether they would be pros or cons of doing it again. This can also be used to decide between two actions (or more).  This link also has a worksheet.
Radical Acceptance - The goal of radical acceptance is to accept our feelings, even the negative ones, and not push them down.
RESISTT - This skill is meant to help deal with overwhelming emotions. Reframing the situation. Engage in a distracting activity. Someone else. Intense sensations. Shut it out. Think neutral thoughts. Take a break. 
Self Soothing
STOP - Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed Mindfully
TIPP - Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Emotion:
These skills focus on understanding the function of emotions. 
ABC - Accumulate positive emotions/experiences by actively doing things we will enjoy (eg. watch a movie, go window shopping), Build mastery in new skills (eg. playing an instrument, doing a puzzle), Cope ahead by planning for events we expect will be difficult (eg. a job interview, an upcoming social event). 
Check the facts - This is about examining your feelings in a situation and the facts of that situation, and rationally considering whether your feeling response (and the intensity of it) is reasonable given the facts.
Opposite action - Recognize your emotional response to a situation and the action you instinctively wish to take as a reaction to it, and instead do whatever is the opposite of that action (for instance, going out and doing something positive when you feel like staying in and dwelling on something making you sad).
PLEASE - treat PhysicaL illness, balance Eating, avoid mood-Alerting drugs, Sleep,  Exercise. 
Interpersonal: 
These skills focus on getting what you need from other people, building healthier relationships and communication styles, and dealing with boundaries and toxic relationships. ​
DEAR MAN - Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate 
FAST - Be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, be Truthful
GIVE - be Gentle, act Interested, be Validating, keep an Easy manner
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eliserzilber · 5 months
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TIPP
Use this skill when you are overwhelmed by intense emotions or are feeling the urge to self-injure.
*If you’re in crisis and are having suicidal thoughts please call a Crisis Hotline! (Call 988 in the US)
T - Temperature: To relax fast or distract your mind with sensation, hold an ice pack to your cheeks or eyes or dunk your face in a bowl of ice water for at least 30 seconds to activate your Diver Reflex*.
*If you have high blood pressure, talk to your doctor before trying.
I - Intense Exercise: Doing a few minutes of vigorous exercise will release Endorphins. Try a few minutes of Jumping Jacks or running in place (or around the block). Play your favorite fast paced song and dance it out.
P - Paced Breathing: Breathe deeply into your belly, expanding your lungs as much as you can. Pace your inhales and exhales to 5-6 per minute. Then make your exhales longer than your inhales (5 seconds in, 7 seconds out).
*Try a 60 bpm Metronome track from your music streaming app or YouTube for pacing.
P - Paired Muscle Relaxation: Breathing deeply, tense your muscles (not so much that you cramp up) section by section, move your focus from your feet up your body. Tense up with every inhale, relaxing and melting with every exhale.
*More DBT guides here*
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elainiisms · 5 months
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red-umbrella-811 · 1 year
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This one’s for all my friends on here with problems.
If you’re having a trauma or anxiety episode, if you’re thinking about killing yourself, you just need to make it through tonight. The morning won’t make everything good, but things will be better.
Do what you need to do. If you’re struggling to make it through this moment, there are things like exercise for anxiety, cold water on the face for anxiety or flashbacks, other distress tolerance skills. Use your skills, white knuckle it. Don’t use substances or behaviors. Surf the urge.
Try to get some sleep. It’ll be better if you do, but the morning will still be better than the night if you don’t. If you can’t sleep, see if you can lie down and listen to or watch something comforting, maybe with your eyes closed.
If you can’t do that, see if you can be kind to yourself. Maybe that feels natural right now, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you don’t deserve it. Try it anyway. If there’s some cosmic (or literal) debt to be paid for it, you can pay it in the morning.
Try to be kind. If you can eat, eat something comforting. If you’re in a bed or couch, maybe curl up with a soft blanket or stuffed animal. Smell something that smells like home.
This isn’t about solving the problem, this is about getting you to a place where solving the problem might be possible. It’ll probably take more than a night. But right now, we’re just making it through to see the sun again.
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borderlinebaby420 · 9 months
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waking up and immediately having to fight back tears bc i wish i could be unconscious and asleep forever
forced myself to go for a run because behavioral activation is actually very effective
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mrstengenuzui · 6 months
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🩷💙
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Do not romanticize the cluster B disorders.
They are not fun, quirky labels for you to take on. They don’t give you a free pass to do anything.
They are something you do not want to have.
They are disordered patterns of behavior that have their roots in trauma that cause those of us diagnosed and our loved ones pain/suffering.
We obviously aren’t all horrible people incapable of change, but we may have abusive tendencies if our disorders remain untreated. It’s how we defended ourselves. The only example that was ever set for us was living in survival mode. We can potentially be dangerous. We don’t have a voice of reason until the damage has been done. We have difficulty understanding that our thoughts aren’t always reality. We have high potential to slip into episodes of psychosis.
If you suspect you have a cluster b disorder, get help.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy was created by someone who had BPD. It helps a lot if you’re willing to work with it.
If you can’t afford to do DBT with a licensed therapist, or get the workbook, here’s a link to it—
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conscious-love · 2 years
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You don’t build psychological resilience by feeling good all the time. You build psychological resilience by getting good at feeling bad.
Mark Manson
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ineedfairypee · 8 months
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B roll 🧻
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thedialup · 5 months
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Radical Acceptance is basically about accepting our feelings, without pushing them down, even the negative ones.
It means accepting reality and feelings for what they are, though it doesn't mean you don't want to change them.
Here's an example (This is a "small" situation because I think this is best started with a more manageable circumstance first.):
Step 1 - Think of a situation that you have feelings about. (Note that I don't recommend trying this with traumatic events to start which is why I've used the example below.)
Example: Yesterday I embarrassed myself in front of the cashier at the store when she said "Here's your receipt" and I said "thanks, you too!" This has heightened my anxiety about future situations where I need to talk to a stranger.
Step 2 - What caused the event? Stick to facts and don't make judgements about something you've done.
Example: I was distracted by feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood what she was saying.
Step 3 - Accepting the feelings. What emotions do you feel when you think back on this event? Try and be open about this and note any physical changes you might feel like your heart beat increasing.
Example: I feel embarrassed when I think back on it and it makes my hands a little sweaty.
Step 4 - The plan. This is where you come up with a plan on how to handle the situation and/or its effects. If you are not significantly affected by the situation, the acceptance steps may be enough. The DBT skill "Wise Mind" might be a good skill to use when coming up with a plan
Example: I can use rational thoughts to help me navigate this. Realistically, she probably talks to dozens of people a day. She also unfortunately probably deals with a lot of rude people that are more likely to stay on her mind rather than my little mix up with words. If anything, maybe it was refreshing for her because I was polite and chipper with her and maybe she felt the positive effects of that mood I was trying to convey.
Here are some coping thoughts that may help:
I do not have control of the past, only this current moment.
Ignoring my emotions only allows them to fester and continue to bother me.
This is uncomfortable, but I am going to get through this.
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