#Bucky x y/n sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wintersoldiersoul · 7 months

Text

Tolerate It

A/N: I think I might make a part 2 to this... if you guys would want that lmk!

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Bucky shuts you out. (Based on Tolerate It by Taylor Swift)

Warnings: sad, Bucky is kind of an ass, angst,

It started a few months ago when a mission went wrong. You watched helplessly as the Winter Soldier trigger words were spoken in Bucky’s ear. You screamed and cried, begging and hoping that the deprogramming he had gone through had really stuck. You saw him shift for only a minute before he regained control. But you saw it. That cold emptiness in his eyes was terrifying.

You tried to comfort him as best you could afterwards. You cooked him all of his favorite meals, decorating the table with flowers and the nicest plates you owned, hoping that maybe it would bring just a tiny bit of excitement back to his life. You tried to make everything as easy as possible for him, washing every single dish in the sink, doing his laundry, you just wanted him to focus on feeling better. But the things that happened on that mission had shaken him and it wasn’t something that your affection could fix.

Every time though, he would notice the meal on the table and walk right by you without even saying a word. He saw his laundry, clean and folded in the drawers, and would only respond by giving you an empty look. You knew he was going through a hard time but eventually, you started to believe that it was your fault. He didn’t love you anymore. He just tolerated you.

You gave him space, hoping and praying that eventually he’d be okay. That the light inside of him would turn back on and he would go back to the man you had given your heart to. But life doesn't work like that.

Nothing had returned to normal, even now. Bucky was functioning again, going on missions, hanging out with Steve and Sam, but with you, he was different. Gone was the loving man who would tear down buildings for you. You barely even saw him. He’d leave in the morning before you were awake and come back long after you went to sleep, stumbling in drunk and passing out on the couch. The two of you hadn’t exchanged more than a few words a day for months. And it was breaking you apart.

You couldn’t take it anymore. Being in this limbo where you were his yet you weren’t. Part of you wished he’d just break up with you so that you could try to move on. You’d never have the heart to leave him.

It was 3am. You were wide awake and based on the sound of the TV out in the living room, you knew he was, too. You got out of bed and wrapped your blanket around yourself before making your way out to the living room. Bucky was seated on the couch, eyes on the TV screen but not really watching it.

You tentatively sat down, waiting for his mouth to open to tell you to go away. “Buck,” you said quietly, reaching your hand out to take his. He flinched when he felt your flesh graze his, quickly pulling away. “Bucky, please,” you pleaded. You wanted to hug him so badly. You needed to feel him and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

But he didn’t respond to you. He just continued to stare ahead. You sat with him for a while, just relieved that he wasn’t telling you to leave. That counted for something, right?

“You should get some sleep,” he eventually said. He didn’t actually care about how much sleep you got. He just wanted you to go away.

Wordlessly, you got up and left, crying yourself to sleep alone once again. You couldn’t help but blame yourself. Bucky could talk to Steve and Sam and all of the other Avengers but he didn’t wanna talk to you. You were too overbearing. You talked too much. You were too young for him. Never smart enough. You’d never make him happy. But you couldn’t let him go.

The next day, Bucky was working in his office, the door shut and locked. You knocked softly, afraid to disturb him, but you couldn’t do this anymore. You constantly felt like you were drowning, unable to get a full breath of air in. “Bucky? P-please, can you let me in?”

You heard a sigh and footsteps as he approached, opening the door. He looked at you, eyes full of that same coldness that you had grown accustomed to. “What?”

You took a deep breath and tried to steady your shaking hands. You missed how things used to be when at the slightest sign of your anxiety he would scoop you into his arms, hugging you tight and telling you that everything would be okay. But now, he stared at your trembling body and did nothing. “I-I can’t keep doing this anymore. I need you to let me in. I need you to talk to me.” Tears fell from your eyes as soon as you started speaking. You really didn’t wanna cry but you couldn’t help it. Every time he looked at you with that empty stare, you felt like your whole body was ripping into a thousand pieces.

“I don’t wanna talk to you,” he said, emotionless.

“Did I do something? I- I just-”

“Y/N, just stop it, okay? I said I don’t wanna talk to you!” He yelled.

You were taken aback. Half of you was expecting him to hug you, telling you how sorry he was for yelling. But he didn’t. He just stood, chest heaving and anger on his face. “You don’t mean that,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Yes, I do. I don’t wanna talk to you and I don’t wanna see you,” he answered before slamming the door in your face.

And you broke. You slid down the wall, unable to keep yourself up any longer. You knew for a fact that he could hear your sobs from the other side of the door but he didn’t come to comfort you. This man, the man that you loved, the man who you thought loved you, was letting you cry alone. Was letting you cry because of him. And he didn’t even care.

Eventually, you picked yourself up and made your way to your room. You crawled into his side of the bed, trying to take in the faint remnants of his comforting scent. You sobbed for hours until you fell asleep.

You were awoken by the rustling of clothes. “Bucky?” you said groggily, seeing the outline of his figure moving through the room.

“I’m going to Steve’s. I’ll come get the rest of my stuff later this week.” Each word punctured a hole in your chest. Why couldn’t you have just been enough?

“Bucky, please don’t do this,” you whispered, fighting your hardest to not cry again. But even if you did, he wouldn’t care, “Please, just talk to me.”

“Y/N, stop it.” His words were so robotic. “Just stop it. It’s done. We’re done.”

You wanted to hole up in your bed forever. You wanted to sleep away the pain and wake up years later when maybe the ache of him missing in your chest had shrunk. But you couldn’t. Because you were a superhero. And people’s lives didn’t stop needing saving because you felt like you were dying.

So you pulled yourself out of bed. Forced yourself to head to the tower a week later when Steve called for an emergency meeting. You hadn’t slept or eaten, weight loss and dark circles giving you the illusion of a zombie. You didn’t have the energy to put on real clothes. You stayed in what had become your uniform: sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

As if the world was playing a cruel joke on you, the second you got off the elevator, you were face to face with Bucky. You swallowed hard, waiting for him to say something. Anything. But he didn’t. He just looked at you, taking in how unwell you looked. How even in the week since he’d been gone, your frame had shrunk. He saw it. He noticed it. He just didn’t care.

“Why don’t we go undercover?” You suggested as a strategy for the mission that Steve was briefing you all for.

Bucky scoffed at your comment. “That’s like asking to get killed. God, do you ever use your brain?”

His comment hit you hard. But instead of only the blinding pain you had been feeling since he left, you also felt angry. How could this man who claimed to love you for so long speak to you that way?

You glared up at him. Even if you did die on this mission, would he even care? “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Steve shot you a look. “Y/N, come on. Not now.”

“What, Steve? I’m just saying what he’s thinking!” You were almost laughing as you spoke, the emotions of the situation becoming too much to handle.

Bucky stood up from his seat. “I can’t do this. Steve, just fill me in later.” He slammed the door as he left.

The meeting ended but you couldn’t find the strength to move. You just sat in your chair staring mindlessly at the ground.

“Y/N,” Steve said, calmly approaching you. “I know going through a break-up is hard.”

Is that really all that he thought this was? Just a break-up? Sure, you were experiencing the gut-wrenching heartbreak of no longer being Bucky’s girlfriend but you were also filled with so much self-loathing. You felt completely unlovable. You genuinely thought that if you disappeared from the face of the earth, not a single person would miss you.

“Steve, what did Bucky tell you?” You asked. You knew Steve well enough to know that he wouldn’t dismiss the way you felt if he knew everything that was really going on.

“What do you mean? He told me what happened. He said you guys got into a fight and you ended it.”

His words shocked you. Bucky was trying to blame you? He didn’t even give a fuck about what everyone else thought of you and your character? You couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that what he fucking told you? That I ended it? That we broke up in one night after one fight?”

Steve stared at you, confused. He didn’t know that there was a whole other side to the story. Your side. The truth. “Y/N, is that not what happened?”

“No, that’s not what fucking happened, Steve!” You were losing it, both crying and laughing at the same time. “He hasn’t talked to me for months! Not since that mission where they used the trigger words. He doesn’t look at me, doesn’t speak to me… he was sleeping on the couch! I gave him his space. And when I tried to talk to him again, he left. He fucking left. So no, Steve, that is not what happened.”

He stared in your direction and you thought he was looking at you but really, he was looking at the door where Bucky stood. “Thought you could fill me in on what I missed,” he said, not even looking at you or acknowledging what he had just overheard.

Steve was speechless for a second, not knowing what to do. “Um, yeah,” he finally spoke. “Let’s go.” Him and Bucky left the room leaving you once again, alone.

You cried alone in the boardroom for a while. As you were leaving the tower, you heard voices from down the hallway, yelling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Captain America’s frustrated voice echoed down the hall to your ears. “She did nothing wrong, Buck. Why would you do that to her?”

“Steve, you don’t understand, okay?” Bucky responded. His voice sounded like…no. It couldn’t be possible. He couldn’t be crying.

“Then make me understand! Did you see her? Did you see how broken she looked? Do you not even care? I don’t get it, Buck. A week before that mission you were browsing engagement rings. And then you just…” he sighed. “Bucky that girl loves you more than anyone ever will.”

“I know, Steve,” Bucky said sternly.

“She would do anything for you. She would-”

“Steve, I said I know!” Bucky’s voice rang out. Your heart raced as you listened. “I know she would. And I would do the same for her. That’s why-” his voice broke. “That’s why I had to do this.”

Your head was spinning. He had abandoned you, froze you out, made you feel like absolute shit because he loved you?

There was a minute of silence before Bucky continued speaking. “What if I hurt her, Steve?” His voice sounded so soft. It was a tone you hadn’t heard from him in months. It made your heart ache. “The trigger words…they worked, you know. Only for a minute but…they worked.”

“That’s why you did this?” You said, stepping out from your hiding place and making your presence known.

Bucky’s face went white as he saw you. He wanted nothing more than to run to you, to take you in his arms. It was all he had wanted for months but he couldn’t do it. He had to protect you from himself. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he said, his tone still soft.

“Too fucking bad, Bucky. I did hear it,” you retorted.

“I’m gonna give you guys some privacy…” Steve said, walking out of the room and leaving you alone with the man who had ripped your heart to shreds over the past few months.

“Y/N, I had to protect you,” Bucky said.

You scoffed. You didn’t know how to feel in this moment. You were devastated by the way you had been treated. You were angry at him for putting you through this. But you also just wanted him back. Your Bucky. The way he was speaking to you, looking at you, it reminded you of before everything had been blown to bits. “I don’t need your protection. But I did need you! Bucky, do you know how horrible you made me feel? I felt like you never loved me! That I would never be good enough! I felt like a placeholder until you found someone better! You did that. You did this to me.”

Tears fell from his eyes as he listened. “When they used those trigger words…I wanted to kill you. The Winter Soldier wanted to kill you. Do you understand that? I wasn’t in control. I didn’t know that it was you, the love of my life, standing in front of me. All I knew was that you were a mission. And I wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you.”

“So you decided to treat me like fucking garbage? Bucky, do you know how many nights I spent alone in our bed, crying myself to sleep because my boyfriend made me feel worthless?”

“I know, I know,” he wiped his tears. “I heard you every time. And God, Y/N, it broke my heart. I was crying with you. I wanted nothing more than to get into bed and wrap my arms around you.”

“So why didn’t you?” You said, hot tears streaming down your cheeks now.

“I thought that you’d eventually realize I wasn’t good enough for you. I was waiting for you to end it. To give up on me like so many other people have. But you never did and I-I couldn’t keep living every second terrified that I would hurt you.”

You shook your head. “I would never give up on you. I was never going to give up on you.”

“Please forgive me. I miss you so much, I don’t know what to do. I fucked it all up.”

You were at a crossroads. You wanted so badly to forgive him. To say that you understood. And part of you did, but you also couldn’t forget the way he had made you feel for so long. So isolated and lonely.

“I need some time, Bucky,” you said before walking out of the room, leaving the love of your life crying on the sofa.

897 notes · View notes

tmpestuous · 2 years

Text

Six Days

Summary: You make the effort to avoid Bucky during a mission after he upsets you in an argument, but things quickly take a turn for the worse.

Pairing: bucky x avenger!reader

Word count: 4k

Warnings: fluff, angst, slight mentions of torture/hydra experimentation, blood, canon level violence, hurt!reader, sad!bucky

a/n: welcome to my first (real) post! i haven’t written in a long time so my apologies if this is a bit rusty. this was inspired by an excerpt on a post i saw and decided to turn it into a prompt:

“He held her face in his hands.

‘Do you think I care about anything but you?’”

You were on edge.

This was the first mission in a long time where you hadn’t spent the night before with Bucky, wrapped in the warmth of each other’s arms, and waking up with another before heading off. Your regular routine almost happened. It would have happened if it hadn’t been for the argument that happened just about five minutes before you were ready for bed, an argument you deemed unnecessary and frustrating the second you stormed out of Bucky’s room and back into the one you barely spent any time in anymore.

Not having that routine definitely threw you off your game. After dealing with a restless night and a series of tosses and turns, you decided to just stay up until you had to leave.

Biggest mistake you could have ever made, you thought.

You packed everything you needed and, first thing in the morning, walked straight into the kitchen to fill up a thermos with a lot more coffee than you’d ever drink on a normal day before heading off to the quinjet launchpad without a word. Everyone else eyed you as you walked out; your usual, greeting nature was replaced by a silent one, a sight no one had seen since you first joined the Avengers. Once you exited, everyone’s eyes quickly turned to Bucky who had walked in just as silent. Though it was less rare for Bucky to avoid conversation, the two of you being separate was the clear elephant in the room.

Bucky looked up to meet everyone’s gazes on him, his brows furrowing immediately in annoyance.

“What’s the problem?”

“Something going on between you and Y/n?” Sam asked without hesitation. He beared witness to the entirety of your relationship with Bucky, especially since he was often assigned to missions with the both of you. If anyone could tell something was off, it’d be him.

“She’ll get over it,” Bucky replied monotonously before also heading out to the launchpad, everyone else straggling out shortly after.

You were already sitting in your normal seat inside of the quinjet, scrolling absentmindedly on your phone to distract yourself from the eyes that would eventually fall on you as you heard everyone else approaching.

Though you were still angry, Bucky was not. In fact, he was more angry with himself than he was with you. He didn’t even think he was upset with you at all, but he was convinced you thought otherwise.

Finishing a shower after an intense sparring session had never felt better to you.

You had been with the Avengers for about two years now, picking up on more useful ways to use your fighting abilities rather than always being so destructive. Old members of Hydra, who decided they wanted to somehow reinstate and resolidify the organization, had taken you–along with more people than you could count on both of your hands–to be experimented on with a serum similar to the ones used on Bucky and Steve. After managing to escape, you had definitely lost a piece of yourself. It took a while to warm up to the thought of fighting alongside such honorable people, but after two years, you had found your home.

The first year and a half was strictly training and shadowing anyone who had gone on a mission. You were eager to prove yourself as being part of the team, and in the last six months, Steve and Tony had agreed to allow you to not just shadow missions, but be part of them. You had just finished mission 26 as being “part of the team” two days ago, and Steve had stopped you before your workout with Natasha to let you know that he thinks you might be able to do your first solo mission.

That news definitely kicked your motivation into overdrive during sparring. Natasha’s never been one to go easy on you, per your own request, and was riding on a 10-0 streak against you.

That streak got broken fairly quicker than she had expected.

Upon finishing your workout, you were most excited to tell Bucky the news. He had been there the whole ride to see just how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are today, especially sharing the experience of being under Hydra and struggling to use your abilities for the right reasons.

But for some reason, things just didn’t go as you expected.

And it hurt. Really hurt.

Bucky stepped on the jet and gave you a quick glance. Everyone else had taken their usual seat, meaning the only one available was the one he always took right next to yours. He sighed deeply to himself before sitting down, seeing you immediately cross your arms across your chest from his peripheral vision.

This was definitely going to be a long trip.

You didn’t say a word to him the entire ride. Not even so much as a shoulder or thigh touch. You kept your stoic nature for all of the ten hours you were sat next to him.

Bucky was losing his patience, and the only person he blamed was himself. This might have been the first day in the year and some months that you’ve been together that you hadn’t said a single word to him, and it was eating him alive.

It was most definitely eating you alive too, but you couldn’t get the argument you two had out of your head.

Bucky was starting to pack his things when you had walked into his room, his attention quickly diverting to the door and onto you, shooting you a soft smile.

“You’re back already?” He asked, knowing you always took a hefty moment to yourself to relax after sparring with Natasha.

“You are now looking at the woman with a singular victory against Agent Natasha Romanoff,” you said confidently with a playful victory bow, making Bucky chuckle as he stood up and made his way over to you.

Standing up straight to look up at him, Bucky cupped your face in his hands and kissed your forehead. “I’m so very proud of you, baby,” he said with his lips grazing yours that had just pulled into a small smile.

“I also might have really good news,” you said in an eager tone, which Bucky noticed and loved immediately.

“What’s the good news?” He asked right away as he wrapped his arms around your waist, wanting to hear your excitement. After seeing you have so many losses, with yourself and others, he knew you took every win very seriously. You reminded him of himself when he first joined the Avengers as well, and knew just how difficult it was to adjust and get even just a glimpse of triumph.

“Steve pulled me aside today and said he thinks I might be ready for solo missions,” you responded as you wrapped your arms around Bucky’s neck. “He saw how well I did during the last mission and wants to see how I do alone. He just wants Tony to agree first.”

Bucky’s face dropped slightly. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked rather than answering his question, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

Of course you thought you were ready. You had prepared long enough for this and knew you could take on the challenge. You also thought that Bucky of all people would be able to recognize that and agree.

“You’ve only been on 26 missions, honey,” he contested. “It took me a lot longer than that before I was even able to handle a mission with just Sam.”

“So you think that I can’t go on a mission by myself because it took you longer to adjust than it took for me?” you asked incredulously as you pulled out of Bucky’s grasp and took a few steps back.

Bucky ran his hands over his face in frustration. He knew just how stubborn you were; he had seen it mission after mission and debrief after debrief. You were never one to stand down from defending yourself and your decisions. However, you had never been so persistent with him over anything beyond a playful dispute between the both of you.

“You know that’s not what I meant, Y/n, so can we table this conversation and go to bed?” he bargained with you softly.

You scoffed. “You just patronized me by implying that I’m incapable of handling a mission on my own and you want me to ‘table the conversation’?”

Given your tenacious anger, you knew it’d be best to not say anything at all until you felt a lot calmer about the situation. You had surely pondered if you were just overreacting, but Bucky’s words still hurt you.

He was never one to patronize you or make you feel like you couldn’t do something. In fact, it had always been the opposite. To hear that he felt you were incapable of taking on something you felt you were ready for had stung you harder than any other accusation ever thrown at you. He was the man you loved, the one person on the team who you trusted the most, and he thought you were unprepared.

So you avoided him. The jet landed and you gathered your things and walked right past him. You got lucky that Clint couldn’t come on the mission anymore and you could take his room so you wouldn’t be stuck with Bucky for the entire week.

Bucky had felt like he was stabbing himself in the chest. He couldn’t sleep the entire night. This seemed to be a mission of firsts for the both of you, including the first time you were both on a mission and slept in different rooms since you’ve been together.

The next morning, Bucky felt he made it worse. He wandered over to your room before it was time to meet everyone else, knocking on the door loud enough for you to hear it but not make himself obvious in the hallway.

You opened the door, looking right at him though Bucky felt like you were looking through him.

“Can we talk?” he pleaded softly. “I know this isn’t the best timing—”

“Then maybe we should wait until we get back, don’t you think?” you interrupted, your voice a bit raspy from the lack of communication with anyone.

“I can’t think straight on a mission knowing that you’re upset with me, baby,” he said, a slight tremor in his voice. You knew he didn’t want to upset you, but you also didn’t want to direct your anger towards him. It was the one thing you had both promised to each other. “Please?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Bucky,” you replied sternly, your use of his name feeling like a knife through his back. “Can we just do this after?”

He nodded, not wanting to prod you any further than your limit. He whispered a soft “okay” before walking back to his room.

That was the last you spoke to each other before everything happened.

Your mission started off smoothly. You were paired up with Steve, who wanted to monitor you a bit closer while on a mission to further confirm his confidence in you. He also didn’t want to pair you with Bucky when you had tension with each other, wanting the mission to go successfully and without distractions.

You and Steve would take the fifth and sixth floor of the building to locate the files you needed to extract. Natasha would take the third and fourth floor, Bucky and Sam the first and second. Tony would be eyeing the outside perimeter for extra threats and also spotting Natasha a helpful eye, though everyone knew she could handle herself well.

After fighting off a few straggling guards, you found the file you needed. The only problem was the faint beep, beep, beep you heard somewhere in your vicinity. Steve was keeping watch outside, fighting off the backup that was eventually called when they realized you were here. You couldn’t locate where the sound was coming from, but you knew it wasn’t a good one.

“Hey, Steve, you busy?” you said, the hint of fear in your voice.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, hearing your tone. You could hear his shield bouncing off the walls as he responded.

“I’m hearing a beeping noise from in here and I can’t find it at all,” you said as you kept tearing the room apart carefully, not trying to accidentally trigger anything.

“What do you think it is, Agent?” he asked, and you knew he was trying to turn this into some sort of test like your life wasn’t probably at risk.

“The only possibility is an explosive of some sort,” you responded, trying to hide the irritation in your voice from still being monitored on a mission like a child. “I can’t really make out where it’s coming from and it’s nowhere that I’ve searched in the entire room, so it’s probably hidden somewhere.” The beeping then started at a quicker pace, only making your nerves go into overdrive.

“I’ll finish up out here and then help y—”

Boom.

“Rogers? Y/l/n?” Tony spoke anxiously into comms.

“What the hell was that, Tony?” Bucky asked immediately, not liking the tone in his voice while he said both yours and Steve’s names.

“Explosion on floor five. Rogers and Y/l/n aren’t responding.”

“Y/n? Steve?” Sam tried to reach out. Nothing.

“All I’m getting is static, guys,” Natasha chimed in. “I’m headed up.”

Bucky jolted into the staircase, running faster than he could even process. He eventually caught up with Natasha, Tony and Sam both flying in from either side of the building to the fifth floor. The entire floor was filled with smoke, though the hallway was a bit clearer than the room you had been in alone.

Natasha caught a glimpse of Steve, who was thankfully conscious, as he tried to lift himself up with a a cough to expel the smoke from his lungs. Tony helped him up and Steve immediately caught Bucky’s eyes, filled with anxiety he hadn’t seen in him in a while. He then looked at the door and Bucky understood that you were in there.

He knocked the door in with no hesitation, though something was blocking his entry. Steve and Tony made their way over to help him push the door, moving the cabinet that had been flung across the room with the impact of the explosion. Bucky slipped through the door, blue eyes scattering across the room until he saw your hand sticking out from behind some debris. Using his metal arm to lift up the equipment that had fallen on top of you, he moved it over to the side before kneeling in front of you. He noticed the large piece of shrapnel sticking into your abdomen, a fairly large blood stain tainting your suit and your breaths extremely shallow.

Your eyes were half open as they landed on him, though your body desperately wanted to fall out of consciousness.

“Hey, honey, I’m here,” he said as your eyes glossed over.

You felt too weak to talk, it hurt just to breathe with the impeding metal in your stomach. The one moment you wanted to say something to him and you couldn’t.

“I’m here, okay? We’re gonna get you out of here,” he said as his eyes stayed firmly on you, his ears tuning out Steve directing Sam, Tony, and Natasha to prepare for an emergency evac back home. “You’re gonna be okay, everything’s gonna be okay.”

Bucky cupped your face lightly, running his thumbs across your cheeks carefully over a few cuts. His face and tears streaming down his cheeks was the last thing you remembered seeing before the darkness reeled you in.

It had been six days.

Six days since you all successfully evacuated the mission. Six days since they removed the metal from your stomach safely. Six days since they found out the extent of your other injuries from the blow. Six days since you had been unconscious. Six days that Bucky hadn’t left your side for a second.

He had already regretted everything he said to you the night before your mission, but now he felt like he had made the biggest mistake of his life by even upsetting you. Bucky knew you probably wanted to cool down, memorizing all of your coping mechanisms and the way you communicated your feelings. But something in his head told him to talk to you sooner, and he only wished you had let him before everything else fell apart.

He hadn’t slept in the six days you’d been unconscious. You had suffered such a serious head trauma that the doctors in the medical wing of the compound were surprised your scans came back clean. On top of the fractured ribs, the wound in your stomach, and the broken leg, everyone had already known you were a trooper.

By the sixth day, Bucky’s eyes were finally starting to get tired.

He fought sleep off as hard as he could, not wanting to take his eyes off of you for a second. Sam had come in several times throughout the week to bring him food to eat, though he could barely finish any of it. Steve had urged him to go shower every day, promising to watch you and alert him if any changes had happened, pleading with him until he finally agreed. Bucky would rush to shower and immediately ran back as he had finished and gotten dressed. Steve would just give him a pat on the shoulder and a longing look, knowing he couldn’t push any more out of his best friend who was watching intently over the love of his life.

Bucky laid his head on the small space on the side of the bed next to you, his thumb running soothing motions back and forth on your hand as his solemn, blue eyes watched you take small breaths in and out with your eyes sealed shut. His eyes then pulled him into a slumber, one he didn’t even remember falling into.

After a few hours, he felt you shuffle a bit on the bed, shooting his eyes open and seeing you rub your eyes with your free hand, his hand still intertwined in your other one.

“Y/n?” he spoke softly, your eyes redirecting to his face and a small smile creeping on yours.

“Hi,” you said groggily. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

Bucky sat up and shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, baby. I’m just glad you’re awake,” he reassured as he let go of your hand and moved his to rest on your cheek. “How are you feeling? Does anything hurt?”

“I feel like I got hit by a truck,” you joked in a tired voice. “How long have I been out?”

Bucky sighed, though he was glad you were feeling well enough to be playful. “Six days,” he answered. “You had a lot of injuries.”

You nodded slightly. “What about the mission?”

“Natasha and Tony took care of it,” he informed you. “They stayed behind while we evacuated to finish and found a copy of the file. Mission successful.”

You nodded once again, biting down on your bottom lip as you knew there was still unresolved tension between you and Bucky. He noticed it too, but he didn’t think it was the right time to talk about it. Not right after you woke up.

A few days later, you had been discharged from the medical wing and had gone back to your room. You had told Bucky you wanted to go back to his, but he had insisted it’d be better for you to rest in yours.

He stayed with you the first few days you were in recovery, though he didn’t sleep next to you. It hurt a bit, but you had at least felt comfort in knowing he was in the room with you.

One morning, you had woken up and saw Bucky sleeping peacefully on the couch chair in the corner of your room, knowing he had finally gotten rest after a few days. You stayed watching him and he met your eyes immediately when you woke up.

“Hey,” he said in the raspy morning voice you knew all too well. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” you said as you sat up a bit in bed, to which Bucky moved to your side to help you do.

“Don’t exert yourself too much, Y/n,” he warned in a light tone. “You’re still recovering and I don’t want you to prolong y—”

“Buck, I’m okay, I promise,” you cut him off, placing your hands on his face and forcing him to look you in the eyes. His normal, cerulean eyes were a bit more clouded. They looked more gray in the dim lighting of your room, but you could also make out the sting of sadness in them.

The longer he looked in your eyes, the more tears formed in his. “I could have lost you,” he said with a crack in his voice. “I almost lost you without making things right with you. I’m never gonna forgive myself for that.”

“We don’t have to talk about this right now, Bucky—”

“No,” he cut you off this time. “I can’t wait any longer, Y/n. It’s eating me alive and I want to make things right with you. I need to make things right with you. Everything that went wrong on that mission only made everything worse. You could have died while being on bad terms with me and I’m never, never, going to let that happen again. Do you understand me?”

You nodded slightly, tears quickly glossing your eyes as well while a tear slid past Bucky’s. He cupped your face in his hands, wiping the tears that fell down your cheeks with his thumbs as you started to play with your fingers in your lap.

“Do you think that I care about anything in this world but you?” he said, a noticeable shake in his voice while he didn’t break eye contact with you. “There is nothing that compares to you in my world. Nothing. When I heard that explosion and Tony say your name, it felt like my heart dropped. I don’t want to experience that again. Especially if I’m not with you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “So you mean—”

“I said what I said because I’m too scared not to be with you, Y/n. It’s wrong and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I made you feel like I felt you weren’t ready to be on your own. You’re more than ready and I was clouded by my own fears and patronized you when you didn’t need that. I can’t lose you, I can’t picture what the rest of my life would even look like without you in it. But my fears should never come in the way of your accomplishments that you deserve and earned, honey. Never. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry that it took everything that happened for me to say it to you.”

If the tears weren’t falling from your face before, they most definitely were now. You wrapped your arms around Bucky’s torso and sobbed into his chest. He was crying too, but he wrapped his arms around you and rubbed small circles in your back to soothe you the way he always did.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out between sobs. “I didn’t want to fight with you, I just—”

“Shh,” Bucky comforted you. “It’s okay, baby, I know. I didn’t want to fight with you either, it’s on me.”

You pulled away slightly to look up at him once your sobs died down, sniffling a bit as he looked down at you with all the love and adoration he’s always had for you.

“Promise me we’ll never fight before a mission again,” you urged softly, and even though your tone was slightly playful, Bucky knew you were also half serious.

“I promise, baby,” he said, kissing your forehead twice. “Now let’s go back to sleep.”

You nodded as he made his way around the bed and slid next to you, carefully wrapping his arms around you as you both laid down and enjoyed each other’s warmth again.

__________________________________

thank you so much for reading! i thoroughly enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoyed reading my first piece!

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #sad!bucky #boyfriend!bucky #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

4K notes · View notes

imtryingbuck · 6 months

Text

Happy Ending?

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader, Future Bucky x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader dates Steve but he’s not a good boyfriend

Word count: 967

Warnings: Angst. Steve not being a good boyfriend, low self-esteem, no smut but smut? Idk I’m sorry. Self-body hating – plus size reader.

A/n: pt 2&3 will be on Bucky’s masterlist

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

You see the love of your life kissing Natasha. Then in the car she jokes about it being his first kiss in 70 years, he doesn’t correct her of course he doesn’t otherwise he’ll have to tell her he’s dating you. For the past 6 months. He tells you that it meant nothing and that they had to do it so they didn’t blow their cover. He takes you to bed has you on all fours and as he’s nearing his release, he says Natasha. You cry and he doesn’t notice.

You��re sitting in the backseat of the car next to Bucky Barnes, having to see the love of your life kissing the next best thing he’s going to get to Peggy Carter, her niece Sharon. You can’t say anything though as nobody knows you two are dating, still. He tells you it’s for your own safety but you know it’s not for that reason. You know he’s embarrassed of you, you’re not skinny. You’re fat. Overweight. Plus-size. However you want to put it you’re not skinny. You’re not perfect like Natasha or Sharon or any other woman he could have. He tells you he loves you in a whisper. He kisses you behind closed doors. Hell he doesn’t even touch you in-front of anyone. Yet you stay with him because you love him.

Later that night he tells you he loves you and only you. You believe it. Your face gets pushed into the pillow, arse in the air and like last time as he’s about to get his release it’s not your name nor Natasha’s that slips past his pretty lips it’s Sharon’s. You cry, again.

You stay silent about the pain he keeps causing you because you are so afraid of being alone, so desperate to be loved by him or anybody for that matter. All you want is real love but you’re too scared to leave. The worst part is even Steve knows this. He knows how much you love him, and he knows himself that he could never love you, not really love you.

A few months goes by, and everything has calmed down so you decide to take him to meet your parents for the first time. He’s so nervous it’s actually cute. He meets your parents, brother and sister. Dinner goes by smoothly, Steve talks to your dad and brother about everything and anything whilst you’re in the kitchen talking to your mum and sister about how much of an amazing guy he is, how much you love him and how happy you are. Your mum tells you you’re absolutely glowing. The night comes to an end you’re sitting in the passenger seat eyes going from him to the stars in the sky, your happy for the first time in months. You both get home, and he tells you how incredible you are, says he wants to make love to you so you let him. Before you know it he flips you onto your hands and knees face being shoved into the fluffy pillows, your brains working overtime wondering which name is going to make its way out of his mouth. Your whole body is hurting because of how rough he’s being with you, your head hurts and your poor stupid heart is breaking all over again as he empties all his worth inside of you while the name he’s keep chanting like a prayer is that of your sister.

How you manage to do it is lost on you, but you push him off of you with what little strength you have left and make a beeline straight to the bathroom locking the door as quickly as you can, you stumble to the toilet in time to empty the contents out of your stomach. In the mist of being sick and crying you hear Steve pounding on the door pleading with you to let him in asking if he’s hurt you. Asking ‘what did I do wrong’ which is ironic as that’s the same question you’ve repeatedly asked yourself. You hug the toilet trying to get some kind of warmth from it.

But it doesn’t happen.

You fall asleep naked, face covered in tears on the cold bathroom floor. Steve falls asleep on the bedroom floor against the door.

The next morning you wake up sore with Steve knocking on the door telling you he has to leave on an important mission that he loves you and when he gets back you both can talk about why you ran off hiding in the bathroom. You remain stuck to the floor long after he’s left.

You know you can’t keep doing this, going through the pain, blaming yourself for not being good enough for him. ‘You need to stop being scared of being alone’ you told yourself and finally after nearly a year of crying yourself to sleep every night you pick yourself off the tiled flooring and with timid steps you head into the bedroom. As you pack all your stuff into suitcases and bags you thought you’d be crying whilst doing this but no tears have made an appearance, you’re completely numb and done with everything. Walking around the apartment taking your things as you go you head to the front door and like a naive silly girl you’re arguing with yourself to put your stuff back and just wait for the love of your life to come home. ‘He loves you idiot’ even though you know it not to be true and with that and your broken heart you take a look around visibly seeing the good times that took place within those four walls, you walk out of the door and into the cold December morning.

You thought he was going to be your happy ending.

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

430 notes · View notes

gaysindistress · 1 year

Text

Sad Girl Masterlist

Pairing: mob!bucky x reader

Status: complete as of 4/29

Summary: James has an interesting new business proposal and one hell of a condition to deal with.

Warnings: Mob Bucky because he is his own warning, verbal abuse (but not from our lover boy), angst, arranged marriage, blood/gore, death, fluff, forced marriage, guns, language, mentions of sex, murder, slow burn, smut, violence, weapons. Each chapter will have it’s own warnings as well and please read at your own risk!

18+ minors do not interact

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

part 8

part 9

part 10

part 11 nsfw

part 12

part 13

part 14 nsfw

part 15

part 16

part 17

part 18

part 19

The Barnes Family

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes and reader #mob!bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #mob!au #sad girl - bucky barnes

1K notes · View notes

oneofstarkskids · 1 month

Text

don't say that (part 2)

part 1

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

genre: angst angst angst!!

warnings: cheating, lying, !TOXIC RELATIONSHIP!

summary: based on taylor swift's song question

*not my gif*

You had decided to stay with Bucky, if only to keep him from damaging himself.

Even if it meant you were being broken down in the process.

He kept true to his promises, insisting that he break up with her. It should've made you feel better, but it didn't.

Seeing how much pain she was in only made you feel worse.

It didn't help that you'd lost sight of who you were and now your whole world seemed to revolve around him.

Neither of you were fit to love one another. It was as if you were pieces of broken glass and your shattered edges didn't match up.

You hated the whole fucking situation.

And given the circumstances, how could you really be happy?

You'd thought that you'd made it obvious that you didn't want your friends to know about the relationship just yet.

His break up was fairly recent still and you didn't want them to think badly of you.

Bucky had even agreed, but somewhere along the line he'd told Sam and Sam told everyone else. Natasha hadn't spoken to you in weeks.

A part of you wanted to be upset with Bucky, but the other part just blamed it on miscommunication.

You didn't need an explanation.

It was late and Bucky had just had a long day of assignments. His arm was draped over your side and his cold nose was pressed against your neck.

He was already half asleep, but you were staring into the darkness of your bedroom, wide-awake.

"Can I ask you a question?" You whispered.

He hummed sleepily.

The words rolled over in your mind for a moment. You didn't want to upset him, but you thought you'd made your stance clear. What he did today proved otherwise.

You were hanging out with the team. Steve had just gotten back from his solo mission and wanted to tell everyone about it.

Bucky walked in and saw you sitting on the couch. Natasha was standing against the wall watching him.

Bucky leaned down and kissed you in front of everyone. It was so sudden and you didn't know how to react.

At first, the team was shocked. They'd heard the dating rumors, but they didn't expect this level of public affection from the former Winter Soldier.

After a few seconds though, Clint started slow clapping. "Real cute, now get a room." Clint Barton, always the sarcastic jackass.

You turned your head away from Bucky and focused on what Steve was saying. However, Natasha's disapproving expression didn't go unnoticed by you.

"Why did you do that today?" You asked quietly.

Bucky still had his eyes closed. "Do what?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

"Kiss me in front of everyone like that."

"Because I love you," he kissed your shoulder.

"I know, but I thought we agreed to keep the relationship thing a little private," you said with a sigh.

Now Bucky was awake.

"Why does it matter? Everyone already knows," he said in defense.

You sat up, annoyed by his careless attitude, "It matters because we agreed! Did you see Natasha's face?"

Bucky sat up too and pulled you onto his lap. He rubbed your back as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I didn't want to hurt her, Bucky," you said guilty.

He kissed your temple, "I know, doll."

You got up and went into the bathroom, needing time away from Bucky. Every second you spent in his arms made you feel worse and worse.

Of course, he got up and started knocking on the door. "Can I come in?"

When he didn't get a response, he opened the door anyway.

You were sitting on the edge of the tub with your head in your hands. You were regretting everything.

He stood in front of you not knowing what to do, "C'mon babe, can we please go back to bed. We can figure this out tomorrow."

You shook your head and ignored his pleas, "It's all too much."

"What's too much? I'm here. Tell me. I'll fix it," he crouched down to your level and held your hands in his.

"No, Bucky. You can't fix it. I just...I need to be alone tonight," you told him with tears in your eyes. "Please."

His jaw twitched, but after a long moment he got up without a word and went into the bedroom. You came out a few minutes later to see him, fully dressed, and grabbing his keys.

He walked out before you could say another word, making sure to slam the door as he left. He hadn't even put up a fight.

The only sound left in your apartment was the soft shuttering breath of your sobs.

tags for those who asked in part 1:

@immyowndefender @ozwriterchick @vicmc624 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

thanks for reading, guys! <3

#marvel #mcu #avengers #fanfiction #marvel angst #bucky angst #angst #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #sad fic

100 notes · View notes

buckyalpine · 2 years

Note

so this pertains to the “always you” fic. it’s one of my favorite fics of yours, just the perfect blend of angst and fluff, just absolutely amazing.

but.

but i cannot help but wonder what would happen if it never happened. like okay, imagine this: bucky never admits his feelings and never clears up the entire confusion and misunderstanding his girl has ab his and nat’s relationship. so, while he’s in love with her, and she’s his choice above everything else, and nat’s basically his baby sister, she doesn’t actually know any of that. so she’s still waddling in a mass of self-hate, hurt, heartbreak, yada yada yada.

then, on a mission, she gets the opportunity to bring nat back, but with a price- her life for nat’s. so, imagine everyone’s surprise and happiness when natasha returns, alive and well. and bucky is just beyond himself, bc now he got his lil sis and his best girl and he can finally heal. until he asks, “hey, where is y/n?”

and that’s when he realizes.

what do you think he would do? i like to think he would go mad, screaming out her name, falling to his knees, begging for her to return to him. letting out the most painful, gut-wrenching cry. his girl died thinking he didn’t love her or care ab her, and that will forever haunt bucky.

The only change I’m going to make here from the actual fic here: is that everyone is alive because of how I imagined this playing out.

Warnings: ANGST, Death, pure sadness, 0 happy ending, thought’s of suicide

Word count: 1.4k

Happy Alternative ending

You smiled one last time, remembering his beautiful blue eyes. You had a number of choices but your mind was made up as you pushed Nat through the portal to send her home, darkness quickly consuming you immediately after. All the internal pain you felt withered away along with your life, your final thoughts remembering the one person who made your heart feel whole. Who you loved with your entire being. Who didn’t love you back. Bucky didn't feel the same way about you but it didn't matter anymore. You just wanted him to be happy. You hated the way you felt. You were so in love with him, his adorable goofy grin, his dimple chin, his soft eyes, his warm hugs, his corny jokes from the 40's. You hated that you would never compare to the person he missed the most. You weren’t as skilled. Not as Attractive. Not as charming. You just weren’t her. He’d been through so much pain and if one person would make him happier then...

*****

She was alive. She was healthy. She was back. Bucky’s heart fluttered, he finally felt complete. He had his baby sister, he had you. His sweet baby doll. He hadn’t told you before but he had to now, you had to know how in love he was with you. You’d always been there for him, holding him when he needed comfort or listening to him when he needed someone to talk to. He’d fallen for you a long time ago but he never had the courage to tell you. Until now. He couldn't wait any longer, he just wanted you to be his, it’d always been you.

"Where's y/n?" Bucky looked around the platform, but you were nowhere to be seen. The team looked at each other, their hearts sinking when Nat's eyes filled with tears, a sob escaping her lips.

"Nat?" Bucky looked down at her, before moving around the lab, confused, where could you have gone? You were supposed to come back. "Nat, where is she?"

Nat remained silent, chewing her lip, staring at the floor, the light leaving your eyes would haunt her forever. The feeling of your hands pushing her still lingering on her skin.

"W-where is she?" Bucky looked at her, the soft innocence in his eyes breaking her, how could she tell him the girl he loved with all his heart would never be coming back.

“I’m sorry”

“What do you mean?” Bucky swallowed thickly, panic rising in his chest, you were supposed to come back. “She didn’t come with you?” You were supposed to come back.

Nat shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself, she couldn’t bring herself to speak, she couldn’t even look at Bucky. He’d lost plenty of things in his life, but none like this. After all, you were the only girl he’d ever fallen for.

“I-I don’t understand” Bucky’s voice grew shaky; you were supposed to come back. You were supposed to come back. You were supposed to come back. “Where is she? Bruce?”

His eyes pleaded with everyone around the room, waiting for someone to tell him you’d be back in a second, you’d be back through a different portal, you’d be back fucking tomorrow, just anything than the deafening silence he was receive.

“WHERE IS SHE?!”

“Buck...” Steve’s eyes welled with tears, shaking his head “She’s….” Why the fuck was Steve crying, why was everyone so quiet, why didn’t Nat look at him? No one was able to speak, frozen on the spot. It was a high risk mission and the chances were slim; they loved Nat, they really did, but if things had taken a turn, they hoped you’d pull through, accepting their friend’s death over losing you in the process.

“Steve?” Bucky’s chest heaved, hoping his friend would tell him you’re just going to take a little longer, this couldn’t end like this, he wouldn’t handle this, you had to come back. Steve took a step forward to hug his friend but Bucky stepped back shaking his head, no. You were coming back. You had to.

“No, I have to tell her, she has to come back, Bruce?”

Bruce sat in his chair in defeat, staring at his hands. If he could he would. He would have done anything to try and bring you back if it was possible.

“SOMEONE TELL ME SHE’S COMING BACK” Bucky couldn’t stand the sight of everyone looking at him, tears streaking their faces, how could you be gone, he had to tell you. He needed his baby to know how much he loved her, how could she die without knowing how much he adored her. The gut wrenching cry that escaped Bucky’s lips tore through the room as he collapsed to the floor, pained his screams were going to haunt the team forever.

Steve and Sam sat by his side, unable to process their own grief, along with the pain of seeing Bucky so broken.

*****

Bucky only slept in your room. He missed your voice, your hugs, your sweet scent, your smile. He missed your laugh, the way you’d play with his hair, the way your nose would scrunch when you laughed. He didn’t know what else to do, crying into your pillow every night, hoping the nightmare would end. But it didn’t .

He thought the pain wouldn’t get worse.

He was wrong. So fucking wrong.

He found your dairy.

Bucky had felt darkness but nothing like this before. The type where death called for him. The type where he wanted to sleep forever. The type where the cut of a knife would bring him peace and not pain.

His beautiful doll. His everything. The one girl who completed his heart didn’t know he loved her. She’d been in love with him and thought he never felt the same. She wrote the kindest things about him, only to finish her entries about how he’d never be hers because his heart belonged to someone else.

Bucky sobbed, tugging his hair; you died not knowing how much he loved you. You died thinking he loved someone else. You died feeling like you were hidden in the shadows when you were the light in his life. He never got to hug you and kiss you and tell you he loved you. He didn’t get to touch you, feel you and make love to you.

You died not knowing he always loved you.

He found a small box under your bed and his heart somehow broke more. He truly didn’t think he had any more tears left to cry, but he sobbed. His wails carried down the hall as he looked through the tiny thing’s you’d saved from things you’d done together; movie tickets, a candy wrapper from a chocolate bar you shared together, a cheesy valentine’s day card he gave you “as a joke” and many other knickknacks you’d collected as little reminders of time you spent with him.

The pained screams worsened.

Steve ran down the hall as FRIDAY sent out an alert of distress coming from your room. Bucky sat on the floor, surrounded by shards of glass, the mirror shattered, his hands grasping onto larger shards, droplets of blood staining the floor.

“Steve…I can’t anymore”

Steve remained silent, his heart racing, he didn’t know anything that would make Bucky better. Nothing would ease the pain.

“I can’t, I want my y/n Steve”

“I just want my y/n”

“She didn’t know I love her”

Bucky’s sobs reduced to whimpers, his body drained and exhausted.

“My girl. I want my girl”

5 years later

Bucky sat on the grass, his forehead resting on your headstone. A few years may have passed but the pain remained. Since you’d been gone, he’d hardly spoken to anyone aside from Steve and Sam. The closest thing he had to holding you was your named etched in ink on his chest, above his heart. His angel.

He picked up the pen and put it down a hundred times. He couldn’t bring himself to write it, to accept you were gone. To accept you wouldn’t be coming back. But you deserved to know. He never got to tell you. At least not yet. He placed the envelope on top of the flowers he brought you, sitting quietly as he thought about you.

My Angel,

I’m sorry I never told you that it was always you. You were my first and only love, you still are. You’re the only girl who’s ever given me butterflies. You’re the only one who’s ever left me speechless after just one hug. You’re the only one I wish I got to kiss just one last time. I just want to hold you. Just one last time.

You’re the only girl for me. My best girl. My doll.

I should have told you. I should have told you I fell in love with you. I should have told you, you were special. That you are the light of my life. That no one else mattered to me the way you did. I’ve never felt loss like this. I miss you everyday. No one will ever replace you.

I miss you sweet heart. My babygirl.

Till we meet again,

JBB

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed! (also this is an 18+ blog, I can’t tag nameless/ageless blogs)

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyes @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchy-whore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorgane @peaches1958 @kingfleury

1K notes · View notes

lokiandbuckysdoll · 11 months

Text

Not Your Happy Ending

Summary: You thought you were his happy ending, turns out he had other plans.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, mentioned Past Bucky x Natshsa.

Word Count: 1,131

Warnings: ANGST!

A/N: So this idea got stuck in my head and this fic is a product of that idea. I'm sorry in advance! also for people who have requests, I'm working on them !!!!! Also, this is not MCU TIMELINE accurate so please no hate!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You had thought that everything was going well, the world was finally getting back to normal after the defeat of Thanos, Steve gave Sam the shield and is now Captain America, and well Steve that old man somehow figured out a way to bring Peggy back to your timeline and have his happy ending.

With all this good happening after such tragedies, you still couldn't help but feel as if something was still wrong. As if at any moment something was going to happen. Maybe a little part of it had to do with the way Bucky has been acting since he met with Steve last week. You shook off that feeling and tried to occupy your mind. Yet something told you that things were wrong with bucky.

Today you decided to surprise him and have a talk with him about his distinct. You'd gotten off of work early and stooped by one of Bucky's favorite bakeries in Brooklyn, you thought he'd enjoy one of his favorites and hopefully ease him into a conversation.

However, you would soon regret having made that decision. As soon as you arrived at the compound, you had asked Friday to send you in the direction of where Bucky was. She had told you he was in the kitchen with Sam and asked if you would like her to announce your arrival. You asked her not to and then made your way to the kitchen.

Upon walking down the corridor, you stop yourself before turning as you can hear Bucky having what seemed like an intense conversation with Sam. You knew it was bad to east drop but that worried feeling in your stomach began, so you quietly listen to his conversation.

" Just hear me out okay, all I'm saying is that if Steve brought back Peggy to our timeline then maybe.." You felt your heart tighten at what bucky was trying to say. Did he want to go back to the 40s? you were pulled out of your thought when you heard Sam speak. " Maybe what buck?" Sam questions him.

"Then maybe I can bring back Nat from this timeline or a different one and have the life we always wanted, I miss her Sam and I can't stop thinking about the 'what ifs'. Steve even said there might be a chance I could bring her back!" At this exact moment, you felt your heart being ripped out of your chest and stepped on. You knew the passing of Natasha wasn't easy on bucky, she was more than a collage or a friend. They were Ex-lovers for crying out loud, they had a connection like no one else. It was one of your top insecurities going into this relationship, you knew you could never be Natasha or live up to what she and bucky had.

You were in deep contemplation that you nearly forgot you were holding the box of baked goodies in your hands until it almost slid from them. Just as Sam was ready to start speaking again, you swiftly tightened your hold.

"Are you insane or simply fully insane?" Sam shouted. Sam shook his head and said, "You can't mess with death, Bucky. Bringing Peggy back to our timeline is one thing, but to bring Nat from our timeline or another one is a whole different thing." He stopped, "Hell, I'm sure strange wouldn't even help because it's bizarre." Before Bucky could respond, Friday informed him that Torres needed them at the hanger immediately. When the close was evident and it was plain what you had to do, even if it hurt, you had to leave bucky.

The last moment that you spoke with Bucky was through a text message from Sam informing you of a last-minute operation they were going on and when they planned to return. It had been a full two weeks since you had heard what Bucky had said to Sam. After what Bucky had admitted, not even he could text you.

You have recently packed up the life and memories you had with Bucky. You sobbed as you took one last look around the partially empty apartment, soaking it all in before bidding it a fond farewell, lamenting the loss of something that may have been more.

Bucky knew he had to visit you as soon as he stepped off the Quin-Jet. Sam helped him understand during the past two weeks that the idea of bringing Nat back was impractical. Sam also taught him to value and understand that his relationship with you is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. When times were tough, you were the rock that supported him. Everything you do, whether you dance, grin, or cry, stays in his memory. The more he considered leaving, the more he could not bear to go through that because he adored you. You were always there.

Before he could even leave the compound Sam stopped him. He gave him an envelope, "What's this ?" he questioned as he opened it. "Friday said it was from y/n" That was all bucky needed to hear before opening it.

Dear James,

I look back at the early days of our relationship, the days that were filled with love and innocence with affection heightened and improved over time. Falling in love with you felt like those fairytale moments in a child’s movie. It’s weird to say, but it feels like I cannot exist without you like my life revolves around the love I have for you. I feel as though you have absorbed me.

I often ask myself. How did I love before I knew you before I possessed your affection? Maybe it’s when you love someone like how I love you that you know how to Indore everything that can perish. I hate to be selfish, but I have to admit it. I will always love you, my sweet James Buchanan Barnes.

However, I cannot stay in this agony of wanting you to love me how I love you. So I must set you free so you can truly be happy, go explore the world, and live the life you so willingly deserve because in the end that’s all that I care about is your happiness.

I am sorry I am not your happy ending.

In that moment Tears began to pull around his eyes as he read the last sentence those words finally sinking into him and hitting him in the face. You must’ve heard his conversation with Sam. He rushed out of the compound and straight to your apartment. He skipped up the stairs desperately to see you, and ultimately when he opened your apartment you were nowhere to be found. He knew he lost you for good, all because you thought you were not his happy ending.

TAG LIST💜

@caothicshit @missvelvetsstuff @huntressandlioness1 @just-another-blog-34411 @hannibals-favourite-meal @nana1000night @sarahrogersevans @silverfire475 @vbecker10 @Tomandcakes @hallecarey1 @imyourbratzdoll

#bucky barnes #bucky #sad bucky #bucky fic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky angst #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky x natasha #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bu #mcu bucky barnes

368 notes · View notes

mrs-bucky-barnes106 · 9 months

Text

you haven’t seen my man

92 notes · View notes

sebastianstansqueen · 2 years

Note

Hello! I just started reading ——- as hoping you could do this request (it’s absolutely fine if you don’t) but I had seen this tik tok where this girl explains that she’s never seen a story where a sunshine gets emotional and everyone expects sunshine to go someone but sunshine BOLTS to the grumpy character and sobs into them.

idk if any of that made sense but it made me think of a sunshine reader x bucky so if you have any time to write it i would love to read it but if you don’t that’s also fine

here’s the link to the tik tok

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR9eNfko/

Title: Sunshine

A/N: Tell me what you think, feedback is always appreciated, if you want to be Tagged, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.

Wordcount: 732

Warnings: Sad Reader, and protective Bucky, fluff

Masterlist // Tagglists

Taglist: @cherryblossomsky - @babylooneytoonz - @wonderlandfandomkingdom - @miraclesoflove - @amelia-song-pond - @leyannrae - @avengerlex - @pineprincess - @nik2writes - @dorothea-hwldr - @rosie-posie08 - @scxrletrecsmarvel -

You had been sad for the last few days, because your neighbors had your dogs taken away, and now they lived with your parents, but you went into work your heart hurting and you were in the human resources department, and you may or may not have started a small in work relationship with Bucky, and no one knew, so no harm no foul. But you were hurting all you wanted was to go find him and talk it out.

“You're dating Y/n from HR aren't you?” Tony smirked talking to Steve.

Steve side eyed the man. “No.”

“Oh I get it you don’t wanna get your little girlfriend in trouble.” Tony said still smirking and he walked away. Bucky heard the whole thing while just smirking at how wrong the ‘genius’ was, and he couldn’t help but laugh to himself.

You just tried to continue even though you really just didn’t want to and so your boss came and talked to you. “What is going on?” She asked as she sat across from you.

“It’s really nothing, I promise.” You shrugged as you typed up a report.

She looked at you. “What is it?” “It’s stupid.” You sighed.

She huffed. “Y/n, we literally take care of the avenger we make sure they are mentaly healthy enough to just go and save the world, and you aren't acting like you, usually you are happy go lucky and a ball of sunshine, so what is going on?”

“My neighbors called animal control and had my dogs taken away as I was at work yesterday, and there with my parents clear on the opposite side of the city basically in nowhere land.” You ranted.

“Take a break I don’t care for how long but take an hour to a two hour long break.” She sighed, getting up and leaving. You sighed out of your computer, and headed to the Avengers common room to find Bucky.

Bucky had been his ‘usual’ moody self that day, just waiting till you get off from work, just to head over to your house and watch a movie and cuddle, but the elevator dinged opened, you walked in and of course every Avenger had to be in the common room at the moment, Tony kept his eyes on you waitin for you to go to Steve because of the sad look on your face, everyone on the team liked you, your kind and soft hearted, along with you brought baked goods to them more often than not.

Your eyes scanned the room, looking for one person, Bucky looked at you with furrowed brows he saw the sadness you were holding in your eyes. You briskly walked towards him, he pulled you into a tight hug, and you let out all of your feelings and started crying into his shoulder. What both of you didn’t see however was the shocked look on the whole rest of the team's face, and Bucky just whispered things along the lines of ‘it's okay’. What no one knew except Bucky himself was he already grew protective over you so once you told him everything that had happened in the last 24 hours he wanted to go to your neighbors house and demand they take back their complaint about your dogs. He also loved your Pitbull and German shepherd Named Pepper and Lulu, and he’d do just about anything to get you to smile. That night he went home with you, and once you fell asleep he went and talked to your neighbors and came down to an agreement, that you could bring your dogs back from your parents as long as while you were at work they went with you and he talked to Tony who agreed that Lulu and Pepper could stay with the team.

So that night Bucky drove the almost two hour drive to your parents house, they loved him he was glad that he could still make an amazing impression on parents, and he told them about the agreement that he made with your neighbors and he brought your dogs home that night once they walked through the door, the jumped on the couch where you’d fell asleep, and they licked your face until you woke up. You smiled wrapping your arms around both of your ‘babies’ as you called them, and your smile grew bright once again.

#bucky barnes x reader #buckybarnes #bucky x reader #bucky x reader fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #sad #bucky x reader sad #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x sunshine!reader #marvel #bucky x reader fanfiction #protective!bucky x reader

236 notes · View notes

minixmel · 2 years

Text

Back Home - Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Type: Angst/Sad/Fluff

Summary: Bucky is in a mission again, and everything you do reminds you of him.

Word count: ~1032 words

Warning: none (reader have a kid and calls y/n "mommy"?)

A/N: This is the first writing that I post so please be gentle with me english isn't my first language :D I'm open to reviews to improve my writing skills :) I hope you'll still enjoy this fic <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

« Come on, now that we read our story, it’s time to sleep. Good night baby. », I said kissing the forehead of my daughter.

« Good night mommy ! I love you ! »

« I love you too. »

I turn off the light and exited her room, closing the door. I went back in the living room and I sat on the couch next to my husband, who is reading a book.

« Ella is asleep, she asked me to read her Jack and the beanstalk again ! » I said laughing

« Really ! She asked it to me yesterday too ! I think she really loves it ! »

« Or maybe I’m a better reader than you ! »

« Yeah, no way, I think she loves the story »

We both laughed, and as I snuggle in his arms, even though the fire from the chimney produces enough heat, I said « Okay Mister, why don’t you show me your reading skills with this book. »

He just nodded and started to read his book out loud. His arms were wrapped around my shoulder, my head on his chest, listening to his heart beats and his calming voice reading the book.

« Mom ! Mom, come on wake up ! It’s morning, I’m hungry ! »

The voice of my 3 years old daughter woke me up.

« Oh, yeah...hum…why don’t you go watch the cartoons, I’m coming in two minutes, I’ll just wash my face. »

« Okayyy ! » She said going back to the living room to watch cartoons.

I get up of my bed, and I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I dreamed of him, again. I washed my face with cold water to wake me up and bring me back to reality. He’s not here anymore, it’s already been six months since he left and God knows when he’ll come back. I still remember that night of January when he told me that bad news.

« What do you mean you need to leave ? You just came back two month ago ! » I said with tears streaming down my face.

I looked like a mess. My eyes were red and puffy, tears were all over my cheeks.

« I know, but they need me ! It’s really important ! » Bucky said coming closer to me, and take me in his arms.

« I don’t want you to leave, again. Ella doesn’t want it either. She needs both of her parents here. » I said, wrapping my arms around Bucky’s torso.

« I know, I don’t want to go either. I don’t want to leave you, I’ll miss you both so much. » He said stroking my head and leaving a kiss on my forehead.

« I promise you, I’ll come back as soon as possible. I love you petal.»

« I love you too. »

I shook my head to wake me up from this memory. I was already in the kitchen making Ella’s breakfast. I pour some orange juice in a cup and I made her two slices of bread and jam. I call her so she can eat on the kitchen’s table. She quickly came and started eating her breakfast. I made myself some coffee and I ate a slice of bread and jam too. Once we were done, I put the dishes in the dishwasher and dressed Ella.

She went back to watch the cartoons while I got dressed. I did my makeup and I put some perfume and a necklace. I love his necklace, Bucky bought it to me. I still remember when he came back home after buying it.

I was sitting on the couch reading a book when I heard the door of the house being closed. Bucky came home.

« Hey, you’re back. How was work ? » I said putting a bookmark and closing my book.

« Yeah, great. But it doesn’t matter, I have something for you. » He said sitting next to me on the couch, hiding something in his back.

« Oh, okay. What is it ? » I said slightly laughing.

« This. » He said with a big smile, bringing his hand in front of him. He was holding a box.

I took the box and opened it.

« It made me think of you. You know, ‘cause of how I always call you ‘petal’. And it was really pretty, just like you. »

I was so amazed by his attention. I couldn’t stop smiling. A gold necklace was in it, with a pendant in the shape of a flower.

« Wow, thank you so much, but you didn’t have to. »

« Yeah, I know. But I wanted to. »

I took the necklace of his box and hand it to Bucky.

« Would you fasten it up for me ? »

He just nodded and brought the necklace around my neck. His hands brushed against my skin while he was closing it. Once he was done, he left a kiss on my neck making me shiver.

« Thank you so much, I love you. » I said turning my face.

« I love you too petal » He said and then our lips joined in a soft kiss.

I was taken of my daydreams by the doorbell ringing. I quickly dried the single tear that fell of my eye and go downstairs to open the door. It was 8 AM, who could it be? When I opened the door, I couldn’t believe it.

« Hey petal, missed me ? »

He had not changed, his hair might be a little longer and so did his beard, but he still had that same little smile he does after a joke and the same blue piercing eyes.

« Daddy ! You’re home ! » Ella said running to hug her dad. He took her in his arms, and laughed.

« Yes ! I’m back ! »

« I missed you ! » She said wrapping her arms around her dad’s neck.

« I missed you too bunny »

« Are you going to leave again ? » She said pouting.

« No, I’m staying now. I’m not leaving again. » He said smiling, looking me in the eyes.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes sad #bucky barnes x you #bucky angst #bucky fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #the winter soldier #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes

218 notes · View notes

slutt4lovee · 2 years

Text

rescue (b.b.)

𝚗𝚊𝚟𝚒 - 𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜 - 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜 - 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!Reader

word count: 4,699

warnings: SFW, semi-graphic violence, winter soldier Bucky, idek what this is, it came to me in a dream.

summary: you've spent years tracking down Bucky, infiltrating HYDRA and Pierce's protective detail. After finally finding him, you come up with a rescue plan for a man that can't even remember who you are.

You walk into the room along with everyone else on Pierce’s protective team. The only thing different about you is that your heart breaks every god damn you come in here. Nobody’s figured it out yet, mostly because you’re a pro at hiding your emotions.

But the second you come into the building your heart starts hurting. And then it breaks when you walk into that room and see him there.

It doesn’t even hurt that he doesn’t recognize you. No, your heart breaks for him, for the tiny little remnants of the man that you love that you get to see every now and then before they wipe him away again. You want to help so fucking bad, every single time you come in here you contemplate taking everybody down and just fucking making a break for it with him.

But you can’t, everything needs to be perfect, or it won’t work, and everything is almost perfect.

He’s been fighting his programming a lot recently, which means they’ll probably wipe him sometime soon. You’ve got the hideout, the plan, the help, everything, you just need him to be in the right state of mind to cooperate and not try to murder you.

Because he would 100% win in that fight, and you don’t really feel like dying if it doesn’t mean he gets out.

As you walk in the room, you keep your eyes to yourself, hands held firmly on your gun just like everyone else. Everyone in the room is staring at him, but you, you’re looking at the floor right beside him.

You can’t look at him.

Pierce immediately starts demanding a mission report from Bucky, but he doesn’t respond. He always responds. Always.

Somethings wrong.

The sound of Pierce hitting him causes you to flinch and look down even more, hoping that nobody noticed your reaction. They’re already suspicious of you just because you’re a woman and they’re literally all sexist fucks. You don’t need to give them another thing to be suspicious of.

“I know her…” Bucky responds after a few seconds causing you to slowly look up at him, he’s staring right back at you. Such an extreme look of confusion on his face that it actually pains you to see.

“She’s been working for me for months. Of course, you know her.” Pierce dismisses him without even taking a second to look back at you, and you’re glad for it because you’re sure anyone with eyes could see the panic behind your eyes at the moment.

“No…” He says, looking down at the ground with his brow furrowed, looking as if he’s trying to piece together a puzzle in his mind. “I know her.” He repeats, looking back up at you more intently this time as you swallow harshly.

God damnit Bucky.

“Do you know him?” Pierce asks you as he turns to look back at you with a suspicious eye.

You look between him and Bucky for just a second before shaking your head and answering with a confident, “No, sir.”

It hurts to say those words, especially when you see Bucky’s face get even more confused as he looks back down to the ground. He looks confused and a little bit worried, as if he thinks he’s losing his mind and it hurts to think that you’re helping contribute to that, but you can’t blow your cover just yet.

“But…I remember her- I-I remember…I don’t understand.” He mutters as he stares down at his own hands, pinching his brows together in stress as you just have to stand there and watch.

You want nothing more than to console him and tell him he does know you, but you can’t. Not until he’s restrained at least.

Pierce goes off on a tangent about how important Bucky is to them, how necessary his work is for the HYDRA movement, and it sickens you to hear him saying this. It’s almost like an abuser trying to convince their victim that they’re the one in the wrong.

It’s disgusting, and as you watch Bucky’s face you can see little pieces of him breaking through, as if he’s battling for consciousness. He looks just as disgusted as you feel from the little pieces you can see, but not at Pierce, at himself and the thought of him following those orders.

Bucky sits silently as Pierce speaks, fighting between looking at him and at the floor in distress. Pierce is clearly getting agitated from Bucky’s lack of interest, you look away from Bucky, flinching again as you hear another slap land on his face.

“This is pointless, sir, he’s clearly too fucked up to handle this.” Agent Rumlow blurts out, placing his hand on Pierce's shoulder, glancing sideways at you as you look up at him.

Rumlow bends down and whispers something in Pierce's ear, never taking his eyes off you the entire time. You arch an eyebrow at him, managing to hide your panic as Pierce looks up at you as well. He nods his head and stands up, walking over to one of the scientists and whispering something to them.

Your heart is racing, something’s happening, something you didn’t plan for, something that involves you. As soon as Rumlow turns his back to you, you take the opportunity to look over at Bucky only to see him sunk back in his seat, staring right back at you.

He looks even more confused than before; he can obviously tell something is going on but neither of you can figure out what's happening.

“Then wipe him and start over.” Pierce tells the team as you look back over at him just in time for both him and Rumlow to look over at you. “You, stay here, they’ve got something for you.” Pierce tells you, annoyance written all over his face as he looks between Bucky and you before just silently walking out with his team.

Shit.

You quickly press a button hidden on your gun, looking around the room to see the 8 guards all walking towards you with their guns aimed at you. The scientists walk over to Bucky, preparing him to be wiped which means you’ve got about 5 seconds to stop that from happening.

This would be much easier without the guards aiming their weapons at you. This is not going to be easy by any means.

You hear the restraints go down and immediately turn around towards the chair, whipping your gun from its holster on your hip and shooting both scientists in the head one right after the other.

You should feel better, more relieved at least, and you would if you weren’t about to have the most intense fight of your life all by yourself.

You’ve got to play it smart.

There’s two on your left guarding the door, two guarding the other door, and the other four standing in front of you. You’re completely surrounded.

“This isn’t exactly a fair fight guys.” You speak out, pulling their attention away from your hands as you slowly pull your knife out of its holster.

“Don’t make this harder on yourself, sweetheart, just put the gun down.” One of the agents says, standing several inches taller than you as he steps closer to you.

This would be a lot easier if they didn’t have guns.

“Sorry, no can do.” You reply as he takes another step towards you, almost completely closing the space between the two of you like the dumb ass he is.

“I won’t ask you again, put it down.” The guard demands, arching an eyebrow at you as you actually lower your gun.

He mistakes your move for you surrendering and closes the space between the two of you. He lowers his gun and tucks it back into his holster before reaching for one of your wrists.

As soon as he goes to grab you, you snatch your arm away and slam your elbow into his cheek bone instead. His head turns with the force of your hit, and you grab hold of his arm, pinning it behind his back and pulling him to your chest to cover your body from the over guards. With your knife to his throat, you slowly creep towards the guards in front of you.

“Let’s make this a fair fight guys, how about you put the guns down.” You speak, knowing they won’t do it but wanting to distract them anyway.

As soon as you’re close enough to them, you slit the guards throat and let go of his body, kicking his back full force so that he goes flying into the guards in front of you. They stumble back and you use the opportunity to take them down.

You run up to them, aiming your gun at one of their heads and pulling the trigger before kicking one in the chest while dodging another one's punch. You hear a guard running up behind you, so you blindly throw your knife at his head, knowing you’d hit him.

You shove the guard in front of you into the wall and quickly shoot him in the head before turning and doing the same with the guard to your right.

You turn around, managing to turn just in time for a knife to get tossed straight into your right shoulder. With an annoyed grunt you pull the knife out and toss it back in his direction, hitting him in the shoulder just as two more guards charge at you.

You quickly shoot the one to your left but as you turn to shoot the one on your right, he knocks your gun out of your hand. You glare up at him before placing both your hand on his gun and yanking it from his grip. You ram the butt of the gun into his face as hard as you can, causing him to stumble and fall onto his back.

You whip the gun around and shoot him in the head, ducking just in time to dodge the bullet flying for your shoulder. You spin around, hitting the guard in the face with the side of the gun and knocking him into the wall.

He lets out a loud groan as you hit him in the face with the butt of the gun, over and over again until his body collapses onto the floor. You look around, ensuring everyone is taken care of before you switch your attention to Bucky.

You don’t even give yourself a second to process what just happened, as soon as you realize it’s safe you run over to Bucky. Your hands cup his bloody face as you look him over, squatting down in front of him as you do.

It doesn’t even feel real, he doesn’t feel real. You’re half worried he’s going to disappear and you’re going to wake up and have to do this all over again.

“I’m sorry. I do know you, I’m sorry I took so long.” You whisper, running your thumbs across his cheeks as you stare up at him.

It feels weird to be touching him again after all these years, he feels so different.

He looks even more confused than before as you pull the bite guard out of his mouth so he can speak. He stares down at you before looking around the room and then back at you again.

You’re covered in blood, heart racing, out of breath, sweaty, in pain, and exhausted but all you care about is making sure he’s okay. You just need to get him out of here, no matter what.

Your eyes scan his face, noticing the fact that it’s splattered with blood. Even his face looks different, the last time you saw him up close he looked so young and soft. He looks older now, not as much as he should but older than you were expecting. His facial hair is the most striking difference about his face now, you had never seen him with it before, he was always clean shaven, always.

You brush the hair off his face, as you look over the rest of his body. The scars around his shoulder immediately draw your eyes but you look away as soon as you feel the pang of guilt in your chest.

There’s blood splattered on his chest and abdomen too, but it doesn’t appear to be his. You can’t see any injury they could be coming from.

“You’re okay right? You didn’t get hurt?” You ask as you look back up to meet his eyes.

He’s confused, you can see it clear on his face and in his eyes. There’s a heartbreaking sadness in his eyes as well, but it’s more than just sadness and confusion. There’s anger and hate as well, just a little bit, fighting to show themselves.

“What’s going on?” He asks slowly as he looks around the room again, looking over each dead body as if he’s trying to figure something out.

“I’m getting you out, Buck. I’m getting you as far away from Pierce and Hydra as I can.” You tell him, a small smile breaking out onto your lips at the thought.

You’ve been dreaming of this day since you heard he was alive. You’ve been dying to have him back in your life whether he remembered you or not. The fact that you’re almost there, so close to having him back is making you way too giddy for your current situation.

“Why?” He genuinely asks, as if he couldn’t understand why you, or anyone, would want to rescue him. It breaks your heart all over again.

“Because I love you, and I’ve seen what they’re doing to you, and you don’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. It’s awful.” You tell him, dropping your hands to rest on his knees as you look out the door.

“I know you, but I-I don’t know who you are.” He whispers, shaking his head slowly as you look back at him, almost like he’s disappointed at himself for not knowing.

“It’s okay Buck, I remember enough for the both of us.” You tell him with a reassuring smile as you hear someone coming. “But we really need to go. Can I trust that when I get these restraints off you won’t attack me?” You ask him, arching an eyebrow as you push yourself to your feet and walk over to the controls.

“Part of me doesn’t want to attack you, the other part thinks you’re a threat. So, no.” He replies honestly, turning his head to watch you as you hover your fingers over the screen.

His admission hurts, but you know it’s just his Winter Soldier conditioning telling him you’re a threat. You’re a little unsure as to whether you should trust him not to attack you, but you don’t have much of a choice.

“I’m not a threat. I’d never hurt you.” You tell him, giving him a serious look as you press the release button. “Just keep reminding yourself that please. I’d never hurt you.” You say as the restraints lift off granting Bucky the ability to move his arms.

“Everything good in here?” You hear Natasha calling as she walks into the room, eyeing the mess you made before looking over at you and Bucky.

“Good, yeah?” You say as you walk over to Bucky tilting your head at him as he eyes Natasha. “Also, not a threat, she’s going to help get us out.”

He looks up at you but doesn’t say anything, just silently gets up from the chair and waits for you to lead the way. You walk over to Natasha, Bucky close behind you, but when you look up at Nat you notice her hand on her gun as she stares off at something behind her.

“She needs her gun.” Bucky calls out to Natasha when he notices her watching and it puts a little smile on your face until you remember why he’s giving you a gun.

He needs you to be armed. Not for your safety really, but in case you need to use it on him. He needs you to have a weapon on you to kill him if you need to. You’ve always hated that little piece of his programing, it makes sense, but it’s still awful to think about.

He silently hands you both your bloody knife and your gun back. You give him a small smile and a nod, slipping the two items back into their respective holsters before nodding to Natasha that it’s time to leave.

“You didn’t tell me he was hot.” Natasha calls out to you as she leads the two of you through an empty hallway.

You roll your eyes as she glances back at you before arching an eyebrow at Bucky who stands in front of you and behind her.

You shouldn’t be jealous that she’s looking him up and down like a fucking buffet, but you really fucking are. And she knows it, and he would too if he could remember anything.

When he looks back at you with a confused look on his face, it gives you a little bit of hope, but you just shake your head at him, telling him to ignore her as she leads you to your hideout.

two months later

“I’ll take the couch tonight.” You tell Bucky as you walk out of the bathroom in your pajamas.

“You had the couch last night; you should get the bed.”

“Buck, you barely fit on it. I’ll sleep on the couch.” You tell him, arching an eyebrow at him as he opens his mouth to protest again.

“Fine.” He huffs as he stands up from the couch and sits down on the mattress.

“Whatever.” You scoff as you walk over to the couch, grabbing your pillow off the mattress as you walk by.

He turns the lamp off by the mattress, making it almost completely dark in the room as you both lay down. You lay on your side, pillow folded up under your head as you stare blankly into the room.

Just like every night for the past 2 months, as soon as the lights go out and the darkness takes over, a familiar loneliness and sadness take over.

You’re not alone, he’s right there, less than 10 feet away, but you feel alone. You’ve felt this overwhelming sense of loneliness ever since the 2 most important men in your life went off to war and didn’t come back.

You thought saving Bucky would make you feel better, but it didn’t.

It wasn’t the same. He wasn’t the same and you weren’t the same, you were stupid for thinking that everything between the two of you would go back to the way it was.

He still didn’t remember you that well, he was remembering bits and pieces, but he couldn’t remember who you were to him. It hurt so fucking much.

You were with him every second of every day, all you wanted to do was hold him and tell him how much you loved him. You wanted to pretend he never left, but you couldn’t, he didn’t know you.

Your relationship felt so much different than you expected it to. Everything was so emotionless and empty. There were no feelings for you coming from him. He didn’t joke with you how he used to, or play around with you, he didn’t try and start pointless arguments just to get you riled up.

Just being in the same room as him hurt, but you couldn’t leave him. You loved him too much, and after holding out hope for all those years, you weren’t about to let it go now.

“How do you look the same? Shouldn’t you be...old?” Bucky’s voice interrupts your thoughts as he rolls over on the mattress, straining his eyes to see you in the dim light.

“The same reason as you and Steve.” You respond softly, not really wanting to delve into your past when you’re already upset. “It’s a long story, we can talk about it another time.” You sigh as you run your hands over your face.

The two of you lay in silence for a while. Neither of you can find the words to express what you’re feeling, even if you could it would still be quiet. You don’t have the courage to admit how you’re feeling and neither does he.

So instead, you settle for asking, “What did it feel like…when you were the Winter Soldier?”

You have no idea why you’ve asked this. You’ve been in a similar position as him before, you know how it feels. But you asked anyway.

“Horrible.” He responds quietly, keeping every ounce of emotion in his voice hidden from you as he speaks. “It was like I was dreaming, I could see and feel everything, but I couldn’t do anything.”

He tries to keep his emotions hidden again, but he doesn’t do a good job. You can hear the hurt in his voice when he speaks this time, like speaking the words is somehow physically hurting him.

“I couldn’t make myself speak or move or anything. I couldn’t even think. The only thing I could do was watch, watch every single fucked up thing that I did, watch everything they did to me. It was awful, I never want to be like that again.” He confesses and even though you knew exactly how it felt and what it was like, it still hurts to hear it come from his lips.

The idea of him going through that makes you sick. You wouldn’t wish that on your worst enemy, let alone the love of your life.

“It is awful.” You mutter under your breath, forgetting that he can hear you. But he doesn’t question it, he just moves on.

“It wasn’t until you showed up that I was able to do anything.” He tells you; his words make your heart flutter despite the fucked-up meaning. It’s sweet.

It’s kind of odd to think about it being sweet, but it is. It means you had a strong enough emotional connection with him to break through the programming. He had seen Steve before and even Steve didn’t break through.

But you, you did.

“I didn’t look at you for the entire first week because I wasn’t supposed to, y’know. But then I just so happened to be looking up at someone else when you walked in one day and something clicked.” He speaks softly, you hear him moving around on the mattress and then the light in the room clicks on.

“From the side of my face?” You ask in disbelief as you stare down at him.

“No, you looked at me for like half a second. I didn’t remember you at first, but I kept getting random flashes of my memories after that. And you kept showing up more frequently because I wasn’t cooperating. But the more you showed up the more I could remember, the more I remembered the more I was in control.” He rambles, running his fingers through his hair as he sits up on the mattress to look at you.

“And then you told Pierce you knew me. Almost fucked up my plan by the way.” You say with a sarcastic smile and thankfully he smiles back.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” He mutters sarcastically as he rolls his eyes at you. “I wasn’t even talking to Pierce. I was just repeating it over and over in my head and then I said it.”

“Well, it worked out fine. You’re lucky I can fight.” You joke as he lays back down on the mattress with a dramatic sigh.

“Yep, so lucky.” He mutters under his breath, just barely loud enough for you to hear.

There was something in his voice that made you nervous. He wasn’t being sarcastic or joking, but he wasn’t being sincere or sweet either. He almost sounded sad, or maybe worried about something.

Admittedly something has been off about Bucky for the past couple days, but you just assumed it had something to do with the whole being brainwashed for almost a century. It didn’t.

It was something else, something that had a lot to do with you.

“You seem upset tonight, Buck.” You mutter as you watch him place his hands on the forehead and stare blankly at the ceiling.

“I...listen, I remembered everything almost a week ago.” He whispers as he continues to stare up at the ceiling, too nervous to meet your gaze.

You feel your heart pang in your chest, a sense of excitement washes over you at the thought of him finally remembering. But then you notice the upset tone of his voice, the clear signs of distress in his body. He’s not happy about remembering.

“That’s why you’re upset?” You ask hesitantly, almost scared for him to reply.

“No- no, not at all. I just...I remember you and how good you were an-and I, well I’m not the same person anymore.” He whispers, his voice just loud enough for you to hear the crack of emotion when he says he’s not the same.

“Oh, Bucky…” You sigh as you climb off the couch and crawl over to the mattress. “I’m not the same person either. It’s been a long time, Buck, it’s okay that we’re different people, we’ve been through a lot.”

He looks up at you as you place your hand on his cheek, gently stroking your thumb across the stubbly skin. You don’t know if he notices but he leans into your palm, making your heart swell with the tiny gesture.

And then he shatters it when he closes his eyes and whispers, “But I don’t deserve something this good...not after all I’ve done.”

“I’m nowhere near as good as I was Bucky, I’ve done far worse things than you have. If anyone doesn’t deserve this, it’s me.”

He opens his eyes slowly, arching an eyebrow up at you before muttering out a single word, “Promise?”

Neither of you knew that the word would come to hold so much meaning for the two of you. But it did and simply because of this moment alone.

“Promise.”

The second the word leaves your lips he’s pulling you to his, kissing you so passionately it’s like he hadn’t kissed you in years. And well, he hadn’t. He pushes you onto your back, never breaking your lips apart for a single second.

He doesn’t hesitate to slip his tongue into your mouth as his left-hand slides down the outside of your thigh, his right hand pressing into the mattress beside your head to hold himself up. Your hands grip onto the back of his neck, your left-hand tangling into his hair as he kisses you.

The kiss is desperate and messy, clearly something the two of you have been needing.

His tongue flicks against yours and you swear you turn into a puddle underneath him. Your stomach is a mess of butterflies and need as you try to pull him as close as physically possible.

You feel his left hand slide down the outside of your thigh, sliding over your hip before slipping it under your shirt. His tongue slips over yours as his hand glides over your skin, being as gentle as he can as he pushes your shirt up.

“Probably shouldn’t do this yet.” He breathes against your lips, trailing his fingertips under your shirt as he kisses you.

“Probably not.” You whisper back, shivering under his touch as his fingers near your bra.

Just as his fingertips reach the elastic of your sports bra, there’s a rhythmic, loud pounding coming from the staircase outside your apartment. You push him off of you just as the pounding comes to a stop in front of your door. You reach under the couch, grabbing the two guns you had placed there and motioning for Bucky to go stand by the bathroom.

Just as the two of you reach the wall by your bathroom, your door is busted down and a smoke bomb is rolled in. You hear Rumlow calling for you and Bucky just before the grenade goes off.

#bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #the winter soldier #the winter solider x reader #this just makes me sad #idk what this is #bucky barnes #sfw #smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut

209 notes · View notes

wintersoldiersoul · 5 months

Text

Headcannons for when you have a bad day

- he notices immediately when you’re in a bad mood

- he sits down next to you and kisses your forehead and hugs you tightly

- asking things like “what’s wrong, my darling?” and “why are you sad, baby girl?”

- listening intently while you tell him so that he can figure out how to make you feel better

- he cooks your favorite meal for dinner (or gets takeout. whatever you want)

- he puts on your comfort show for you while you eat so that you can just relax and distract yourself from whatever upset you

- he’ll give you a long massage, taking his time to work the tension out of your neck and back

- “i’ll be right back,” he tells you with a kiss before disappearing into another room

- a few minutes later he comes back and leads you to the bathroom where he’s run you a bath with rose petals and lit candles

- “do you want me to leave you alone or should i join?”

- of course you want him to join

- when you get out he brings you one of his sweatshirts and your favorite pair of pajama pants

- he brings you a glass of wine (or whatever your fave drink is)

- bucky just wants to spoil you and make you forget about everything that’s upsetting you

- he’s constantly giving you kisses and stroking your arms

- he hates seeing you sad more than anything in the world

- he holds you so close you him when you eventually go to bed, whispering over and over how much he loves you

- even if your day was bad because of something small, he’ll still do everything he can to make you happy

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #marvel imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #marvel #bucky barnes smut #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky #sad bucky #bucky fluff #bucky hc

346 notes · View notes

gaysindistress · 10 months

Text

The Barnes Family - a Sad Girl ficlet

Summary: Doll and her grumpy mob boss husband go to a wedding where Bucky can't keep his comments to himself.

Pairing: Mob!Bucky x reader

Warnings: cursing, mentions of spicy times

Word count: 1.4k

Taglist: @vickie5446 @cakesandtom @missvelvetsstuff @angelsincident @spencerreidisagorgman @goldensunflowe-r @i-have-no-life-charlie @esposadomd @iateall-yourcookies @littlelizardlizzie @alana4610 @kandis-mom @beware-my-thorns @ozwriterchick @reader-without-a-story @unaxv @wh0reforbucknasty @cjand10 @vickie5446 @katymae12344 @callsign-athena @openup-yourmind

master-list

sad girl masterlist

a/n: I went to a wedding and thought about Doll and Bucky from Sad Girl so I had to write one last thing about them.

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

“I want to start off this ceremony the right way; with a prayer to our father who art thou in heaven.”

Bucky clears his throat and fidgets in his chair as the prayer begins. To his left, Doll whacks him on the thigh.

“What was that for?” He asks as he grabs her hand to stop her from doing it again.

She rolls her eyes at him and points to the pastor and the couple in front, “we’re supposed to be praying.”

“And?”

“And you need to stop talking.”

He goes to say something that would make God blush but she digs her nails into his knee as her final warning.

The crowd around them say Amen as Doll tries to rein in her giant of a man from losing his composure. The pastor drones on about how marriage is a joyous occasiokn that makes a couple whole. Littered throughout his speech are mentions of how women are made for men and are to serve them to the best of their ability. He goes on and on about the story of Adam and Eve, especially the part where Eve was created from Adam’s rib and how that made her indebted to him.

Bucky lets out a disbelieving snort when the pastor gets to the vows which are again, filled with the idea that the groom is about to get an inhouse servant. Doll shoots him a pointed look but it doesn’t reach her mouth. She’s trying to hold in her own laugh but there are people starting to turn around and glare at them.

“Bucky I swear to…”

He leans over to whisper into her ear, “It better not be God. I don’t think he would appreciate that.”

“Stop talking or…”

He interrupts her again, “Or what?”

When she doesn’t respond and instead lets her eyes scan his face, a smirk grows and dares her to contiune with her threat. She’s smarter than that and knows when to play into his little game but right now she decides to play her own. The hand that he’s holding to his knee slips out and reaches up to brush over the stubble that’s grown during the last few months. Since finding out that she’s pregnant, he’s started to embrace a more causal look aka letting his beard and hair grow out more. Several mornings he will wake her up and ask for her help with styling it. Today, though, he opted to get his hair cut and returning to his traditional short hair that has her legs given out when she saw him walk out of the bathroom.

“The house is empty,” she tells him, briefly looking back to the grand estate house that sits behind them.

Bucky turns to look and catches the hidden meaning behind her words, “Now THAT is something God would definitely not appreciate.”

“Why not?” Doll shrugs her shoulders and lets her hand drop so she can face the front again, “We’re married and I’m already pregnant. I think he would WANT us to have sex.”

Cheering from the people around them lets them know that the ceremony is about to end. The happy couple smiles widely and shakes their joined hands together as they walk down the aisle. Bucky and Doll stand to clap while he whispers one last thing, “In that case, we should fuck in front of the arch.”

Doll giggles at him and follows the other guests towards the reception area with him trailing after her like a puppy. The mother of the bride stops Doll on her way towards the house to congratulate them on their marriage and baby.

“Oh Y/N it’s been so long since the last time. How is everyone? How’s Morgan?” the older woman drops her voice at the mention of Morgan but maintains a bright smile.

“Morgan is good. She’s with her aunt right now but she’s doing really good.”

“Oh good, good. We were all worried about her after you know…”

Bucky speaks up from behind Doll, “That’s funny.”

She gives him a confused look.

“Considering that I’ve never met you before today and I should have if you were that worried about her.”

The woman gasps at his comment and Doll chokes down a chuckle, “It was nice to see you, Amanda. We’ll check up another time.”

With that, Doll leads her sassy husband away and leaves Amanda in shock with his forwardness. Bucky grumbles something about how two faced these people are and how he can’t wait to leave. She finds their table and takes a seat all the while he’s still grumbling about whatever he can.

“We can leave after the dances. We’ll blame it on Morgan and say she called us, asking if we could come home,” Doll says to him.

“If anyone else comes up to me, I’m not talking to them. I can’t stand these people.”

“Fair enough. They’re all Pepper’s friends anyways,” she pauses, staring over his shoulder, “Fuck David is coming over.”

“Who’s David?” he starts, turning to look, “Are you on first names basis with the pastor? Is there something that you want to tell me?”

“I’ll explain it later,” she mumbles and stands to greet the pastor, “David how are you?”

“Y/N! How are you?” David, the pastor, says too enthusically for Bucky’s liking.

“I’m good, how are you?” She fakes a smile and recoils when he pulls Doll into a hug which has Bucky standing immediately.

“Let’s talk about you,” he holds her out by her arms, “How far along are you? I didn’t even know you were married.”

“Yeah, Hi I’m her husband,” Bucky wraps a protective arm around her waist and pulls her away from David. He doesn’t offer his hand to shake and instead settles for a death glare.

David launches into a 3 minute long rant about nothing and everything all at once. The entire time he’s focsued solely on Doll and seems aloof to the murderous stare that Bucky is leveling at him. Eventually he starts in on how he’s upset that he wasn’t invited to their wedding.

“I’m going to have to stop you there David. I don’t know you and you’re making my wife very uncomfortable so why would we have invited you?” Bucky poses to David and checks his watch when he tries to defend himself, “Doll I think it’s time we leave.”

“Of course,” she is more than happy to gather her clutch and get as far away as she can from David.

“Have the evening you deserve,” Bucky bids his less than kind bye and leads his wife anywhere but there.

“You could be nicer,” she tells him, smiling at the guests that pass by them.

“Then I would be lying,” he remarks back, “To the arch?”

“We are not having sex in front of everyone.” “Why not? There’s nothing more natural than a married couple showing their love for each other.”

She playfully hits him on the shoulder, “I promise once we get home then I’ll let you go wild.”

“Come on there’s no fun in that.”

“Are you trying to say that sex with me is not fun?” He narrows his eyes at her, “I never said that and while we’re at why don’t you tell me how you know David?” “He’s the son of one of Pepper’s friends. She tried to set us up so many times but for obvious reasons I found a way out everytime.” He hums in understanding and digs into his slack’s pocket to unlock the car. Holding the door open for her, Bucky helps Doll in and sneaks a playful slap on her but which earns him an equally as playful smack to his hand.

“It’s right there. You can’t expect me to not give it some love.” “Get your ass in the car and you might get lucky.”

“Yes ma’am,” he salutes her and jogs around to the other side so he can climb in as well. When the engine roars to life, he puts his hand on her thigh and drives them away from the hypocritical and boring wedding they just left. Doll moves his hand up onto her stomach and presses it against it so he can feel their baby move.

“Did you feel that? She’s been moving around so much this evening.”

“Little Winnifred is getting so big.”

She had been moving his hand around to get a better feel but freezes at the name that slips out, “Winnifred?”

He looks over quickly, “It was my mom’s name.”

She hums and starts moving his hand again, “What about Jade Winnifred Barnes?”

“Baby Jade,” he repeats the name over and over again as they drive down the driveway, “The Barnes Family: James, Y/N, Morgan, and Jade.”

“Bucky, Y/N, Morgan, and Jade,” she corrects him.

“I like the sounds of that.”

#bucky barnes imagine #mob au #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes imagine #mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes and reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #sad girl bucky barnes #marvel imagine #bucky barnes reader insert

275 notes · View notes

midnightbabylon · 2 years

Text

Updated Masterlist

* smut

💭 angst/hurt/comfort

💌 fluff

Masterlist

Series

Fate Series: finished!!

Cheater

Traitor

Liar

Lover (The End)

The One Where Series: ongoing

F•R•I•E•N•D•S (Prequel)

Let´s hurt tonight (Sequel) coming soon

One Shots

Roommate‘s Best Friend

New Years Eve

Masterlist

Series

Part Of Me Series: finished

Part One

Part Two

Part Three (The End)

Middle Of The Night Series: ongoing

Part One

Piece Of Your Heart Series: ongoing

Part One

Part Two

Revenge Series: coming soon

One Shots

Somebody To Love

Her (Part 2)

Daddy‘s Little Girl

Till The End Of The Line

Fine

Come Join The Murder •Masterlist•

Series

Play With Fire

One Shots

106 notes · View notes

lokiandbuckysdoll · 2 years

Text

Happiness & Heartbreak

Summary: You're willing to break your own heart if it means Bucky will finally find happiness even if it’s not with you.

Paring: Bucky x Reader, Bucky x OFC! Nikki

Warnings: Angst!, heart break, crying, cheating

Word count: 968

A/N: Please give me feedback on what you think about this! this is my first time writing something like this.

You're not completely sure where things went wrong in yours and Bucky's relationship. You had noticed changes in his behavior and you also noticed the little things he'd stop doing.

He stopped bringing you flowers from the flower shop by your apartment, he'd stay more late at work or text he wasn't coming over due to taking another mission. The little hello and goodbye kisses were slowly fading away until they were completely gone.

When you guys were together it was never more than hour or two before his phone would go off non stop and he'd quickly say “ Steve needs my help” or “ Sam needs me to look over our last mission report”

You wanted it to ignore all the signs that were pointing to cheating. What made you finally suspicious that bucky was cheating was when he had invited you as his plus one like always to Tony’s party. Something was different this time then the other times you went with him.

Sure enough your suspicions were proven right. At the party you had excused yourself to go to the restroom and as you were about to return to the party you couldn't help but freeze at the sight in front of you. Bucky had Nikki, the new agent on the team you'd met a couple months back pinned against the wall.

He was kissing her neck in a way that he used to do to you. It didn’t help that she had her hands roaming all over bucky. What hurt even more were the words that they exchanged.

“ Bu- bucky we should stop before you girlfriend comes back”

Girlfriend? Bucky had told Nikki you were his girl and not fiance.

“ She won’t find out okay” he pulled away from her neck to cup her face and look into her eyes. “ Look she doesn't make me as happy as you do so trust me she will never find out and soon enough we can be happy together” he kisses down her neck again.

I had to physically hold back your sobs and turn away. You couldn't believe Bucky was capable of something like this, but then again you should have just listened to your head instead of your heart. In your haze of blurry vision you ended up hitting someone. That someone ended up being Steve.

“ Hey hey what;s wrong darling?” Concern was laced in his voice and evident on his face at the side of you crying. It took everything in you just to stay the next line before You walk out of the party.

“ Ask bucky and Nikki”

The next couple days went by in a blur. Bucky he had been trying to call your phone and reach out to you; however you didn't answer. Steve had informed you that he and Bucky were going on a mission so that if you needed to talk you should do it before he leaves. That is what made you finally go see Bucky at the tower.

Walking through the Halls you try to keep your composure as memories flood back from that night. Your feet finally stopped you as you reached the buckys door, you hesitate to knock but before you could do so his door opens. Damn super soldier hearing you thought.

His appearance was rough, you could tell he had been crying, his eyes were still puffy and his beard grew a little. You walked into his room looking around it before you finally turned around. You were the first to speak.

“ Does Nikki make you happy?” Your question caught him off guard as he was expecting you to be sad or angry but you kept a straight face with a neural expression

“ w-what?”

“ Answer me James, does she make you happy?” felt his heart break a little at the way you called him in his first name , that something you'd never do unless you were serious about something.

Silence filled the room for a couple seconds before Bucky finally spoke.

“ yes but-”

“ There’s no but bucky she either makes you happy or she doesn't and clearly she makes you happy if you had to go and cheat on me your “ girlfriend” your voice turned bitter now as you couldn't keep your composure anymore.

“ Listen doll, I'm sorry! i fcuked up big time I did but I love you! You're the one I want, I swear won’t see her again I promise '' Bucky began to cry as he couldn't believe the pain he caused you.

“That’s the thing, you never truly loved me because if you did you wouldn’t have done this to me, and your promises don't mean anything. You promised to never hear me yet here we are” Your voice sounded so broken even more but you said next shattered his heart.

“ You see James, I love you so much that I’m willing to let you go to be happy with her!”

“dol-”

“No bucky, I’m willing to lose my happiness as long as it makes you happy! because after everything you have been through in life you deserve a chance at true happiness …. I clearly can’t give you that”

“ I don’t want happiness if in the end it leaves you broken!” both of you were crying at this point.

“ I’ve been broken plenty of times before you. It was only a matter of time before it happened again, I just didn’t think it was you hurting me.” you fiddle the ring on your finger as you take it off. Right then and there bucky knew had lost you forever as you placed the ring in his hand.

You look up to meet bucky blue eyes one last “ I truly hope she makes you happy because i clearly couldn't. ” and just like that you walked out of Buck’s life.

Taglist: @vbecker10 @hannibals-favourite-meal @peachyymallows @tetheredstar @pigwidgeonxo @hotplussizegirl

#Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky angst #cheating bucky #sad bucky #angst prompt

575 notes · View notes