Muffled voice on the phone: We have kidnapped your son and if you want to see him alive again you'll have to-
Tony: Son? I HAVE A SON!?! WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS!?!
Muffled voice: ...We have the teenager with brown hair and a science pun shirt
Tony: Oh, you mean Peter. Yeah, he's not my son.
Muffled voice: ...are you sure?
Tony: yeah, I'm pretty sure
Muffled voice: Well, we still have the kid locked up... so do you want him or not?
Tony: ... Peter is literally sat right in front of me doing his calculus homework...
Tony: Pete, were you kidnapped?
Peter: Oh yeah! That's what I forgot to tell you!
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Peter: I want to crawl out of this meat prison and become one with the universe.
Tony: Whoa there. Wait a second.
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tony stark is my spirit animal
don´t mind the watermark, it´s my tiktok username lol
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"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."
- Tony Stark, The Avengers
Cosplay by me
Photo by Yana Gallis
Make Up Ekaterina D
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[Natasha speaking Russian]
Y/N, sighing: Yeah, I know.
Tony: You speak Russian?
Y/N: No. I just know the phrase, "This is all your fault"
Y/N: She says it a lot.
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Tony: I'm a Stark, flirting is part of my heritage.
Clint: What does that mean?
Natasha: His father was a slut too.
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Natasha: *before a mission* Who’s turn is it to give a pep talk?
Steve: *sighs* Y/N’s…
Y/N: *stands dramatically on the table* All right, people, let’s fuck shit up out there and not die!
Tony: *wipes away a fake tear* So inspirational
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Peter, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time i got hit by a train.
Tony, coughing on his coffee: Excuse me?
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[angry natasha storming down the hallway]
tony: uh oh.
reader: what?
tony: i see an angry wife heading our way.
reader: yours or mine?
tony: does it matter?
reader: if it's yours, there's a chance we'll live, but if it's mine, we're dead.
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Peter: Sometimes Tony asks me “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Peter: I’ve learned that that actually means ‘stop’
Peter: He is never very interested in my thought process
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Tony: Don't tell the others but Peter's my favourite avenger
Rhodey: yeah... we already know Tones
Tony: what!? How!?
Rhodey: You know his order by heart for every restaurant we've ever gotten friday to order at, you always give him the last piece of everything, you always let him pick the movie and he lives in your penthouse.
Tony: ...so?
Rhodey: Literally just yesterday, you threatened to kill Sam because he called Peter Underoos
Tony: WELL THAT'S WHAT I CALL HIM!
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Spider-Man: Welcome to “has my food gone bad or does it just have a slight off texture that’s kicking me into a small sensory overload”?
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Tony: So, are you two dating now?
Y/N & Natasha: Yes.
Tony: Why?
Y/N: I happen to find Natasha very appealing.
Tony: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Natasha.
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Tony: What's the greatest movie ever made?
Peter: Probably Scorsese's Goncharov
Tony: You know Scorsese? Pretty impressed kid not gonna lie
Peter: Thanks mister Stark :), have you seen it? You really should watch it, I think you'll especially like Goncharov's character development
Tony: I haven't, I'll check it out
*Later*
Tony, on his laptop: THAT LITTLE SHIT-
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“There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it.”
― Tony Stark, “The Avengers”
Cosplay by me
Photo by Yana Gallis
Make Up Ekaterina D
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