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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years

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Muffled voice on the phone: We have kidnapped your son and if you want to see him alive again you'll have to-

Tony: Son? I HAVE A SON!?! WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS!?!

Muffled voice: ...We have the teenager with brown hair and a science pun shirt

Tony: Oh, you mean Peter. Yeah, he's not my son.

Muffled voice: ...are you sure?

Tony: yeah, I'm pretty sure

Muffled voice: Well, we still have the kid locked up... so do you want him or not?

Tony: ... Peter is literally sat right in front of me doing his calculus homework...

Tony: Pete, were you kidnapped?

Peter: Oh yeah! That's what I forgot to tell you!

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firegal19 · 1 year

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Peter: *sneaks back into the tower through the window at 3:33 am*

Bucky: *flicking on the lights and turning around in his chair* Care to explain where you have been?

Peter: Uh…I was with Miss Y/n!

Y/n twirling around in her own chair: Nice try, answer correctly

#bucky barnes #incorrect peter parker quotes #incorrect peter quotes #peter parker incorrect quotes #peter parker #spider man incorrect quotes #spiderman incorrect quotes #spiderman #winterdad and spiderson #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel cinematic universe #avengers incorrect quotes #incorrect avengers #bucky barnes incorrect quotes #incorrect bucky barnes #bucky x avenger!reader #bucky x asgardian reader #bucky x agent!reader

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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year

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Tony, sharpens knife: We've got ways of making people talk.

[Tony cuts a piece of cake]

Peter: ... Can I have some?

Tony: Cake is for talkers.

#incorrect avengers #incorrect marvel quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect qoutes #incorrect peter parker #incorrect peter quotes #incorrect spiderman quotes #incorrect spiderson #incorrect spiderson quotes #incorrect irondad and spiderson #incorrect iron man #incorrect irondad quotes #incorrect tony stark #incorrect ironman quote #marvel #incorrect tony stark quotes

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spindler-spider · 1 year

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Spiderman prompt!!!!

We all know spidey helps people when they get lost, helps cats from trees, people cross the street and a big variety of criminals

But can someone pleeeeeaase write about Spiderman helping kids with homework???

Like hes patrolling and sees a kid crying at a bench and when approached he is sobbing about how he is going to fail school and he doesn't understand maths/science

So spidey sits down for like 3 hours and helps him and it becomes routine? Every Friday for 3 hours he will sit down with this boy and help him with maths/science

Then other kids see and they ask for help, so eventually every friday for 3 hours at the park there is a group of kids learning maths/science and they are all enjoying it?

Bonus: this goes on for like 3 years or something and all the kids suprise him and thank him for his help and it's all happy vibes

Bonus 2: Tony sees this and lends him money to get pens/books/calculators/rulers etc. For the kids. - want evil avengers? Make them question Peter and say that it's useless and he will never help anyone doing that

Bonus 3: This happens in a crime-ridden neighbourhood and Peter decided to fix an abandoned park, then next time he swings by that's when he Spots the kids and makes a club to teach kids to stay good, learn things academically and survival tips (to homeless kids) he also spends his tight budget making sure the kids are eating healthy goods and have first aid kits to keep them safe.

If you use this prompt pleeeease leave a link so I can read it, I crave spiderman content (drools)

#peter parker #incorrect peter quotes #scenarios #bamf peter parker #asshole avengers?#peter protects the little guy's

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madame-ree · 2 years

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Unpopular opinion:

I did not enjoy “Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness”

Also unpopular opinion:

I genuinely really enjoyed “Morbius”

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fromjannah · 10 months

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ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE + memes/text posts (1/?)

#across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderverse #miles morales #miguel o'hara #hobie brown #gwen stacy #peter b parker #pavitr prabhakar #incorrect quotes #text posts #memes #jannah speaks #all text posts i've used for l&c. i admit it.

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marvelomadness06 · 2 months

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Remus: James… why do you have bite marks on your arms?

James: *sweating nervously* OH- oh, Urm I was babysitting my little cousin and- and he bites. haha.

Remus: *raises one eyebrow*

Sirius: *sympathetic* That sucks mate. Reggie was a fucking biter too- reckon I’ve still got scars from the little shit.

James: *quietly squeaks*

Remus: *raises the other eyebrow*

James: … I’ve got to go *absolutely bolts*

Sirius: what was that about?

Remus: *sighs* It would appear that you and James have the same cousin.

#black brothers #marauders incorrect quotes #marauders #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #wolfstar #regulus black #james & peter & remus & sirius #Jegulus #starchaser #regulus is a biter. argue with the wall #Sirius and regulus are cousins and brothers…

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welovelouisandbucky · 3 months

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Me: *gets periods* *sighs*

Also me: *searches x reader period fics on Tumblr/ao3*

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moonytoastx · 3 months

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Regulus: "Your eyes are red. Are you high again?"

Barty, imitating Regulus: "ArE yOu HiGH AGaIN?"

Barty: "No, bitch. I've been crying.

Regulus:

Regulus: "Oh."

#marauders era #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #incorrect quotes #james & peter & remus & sirius #moony x padfoot #wolfstar #dorlene #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #jegulus #slytherin skittles #barty crouch jr #barty is my spirit animal

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 4 months

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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

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cardinalcheerio · 5 months

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I have a headcannon that at some point in his early robin days, Jason decided he wanted to be like Alfred and committed to drinking tea, using British slang and the accent while being robin.

This obviously confused the rogues a lot.

Fighting Mr. Freeze:

Jason: aye, what in the bloody hell do you think your doin? (Horrible British and gotham accent mix)

Freeze: I am- wait. Robin? Are you ok?

Bats: it's a phase. Just ignore it.

Freeze: keep forgetting he's a kid... anyways-

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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years

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Peter: If there was a zombie apocalypse... couldn't you bite the zombie and it would turn back into a human?

Tony: ...what?

Peter: well, if a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie... so would a zombie turn into a human if a human bit it?

Tony: No, I didn't mean "what" as in elaborate. I meant it as in "how the fuck does your brain come up with this shit"

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firegal19 · 1 year

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Peter: Hey, do you think that a light saber can cut through Mr. Wilson’s shield?

Shuri: Don’t know, what do you think Y/n?

Y/n: Probably, but it won’t be very effective as a cut up shield

Sam: Foolish, I would have vibranium ninja stars

#sam wilson incorrect quotes #captain america incorrect quotes #incorrect shuri #princess shuri #incorrect peter parker quotes #incorrect peter quotes #peter parker incorrect quotes #incorrect sam wilson #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect avengers

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billi-mausi · 5 months

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James: Regulus kissed me!

Sirius(excited): NO!

Peter: OH my god oh my god oh my god!

James(dreamy sighing): It was unbelievable.

Peter: Oh my god oh my god!

Remus: Okay alright! We wanna hear everything! Peter get the wine, James, does this end well or do we need tissues?

James: Oh it ended very well.

Peter(hurrying with the glasses): DON'T start without me! Don't start!

Sirius: Okay let's hear about the kiss!

__________________________________________

Meanwhile

Regulus: And then I kissed him.

Barty: Tongue?

Regulus: Yeah.

Dorcas: Cool.

Barty, Evan, Dorcas & Pandora (nodding and going back to their pizza):

#jegulus #james potter #regulus black #marauders #marauders era #sirius black #remus lupin #james x regulus #marauders incorrect quotes #peter pettigrew #slytherin skittles #f.r.i.e.n.d.s

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spindler-spider · 1 year

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Hi so you made Spidey talkin' to criminals casually can you make part 2 for that it's nice and funny and oh I love your blog officially one of favourite blogs

I have been away from tumblr for so long and I'm just seeing this! Your wish is my command however I forgot how to use this thing, so no judging my format 😩✋️

Spider casually talking to criminals paper 2!!! Aaah

Spiderman, being told he has to distract 2 guards: heeey guys, you ever played chess before?

Guards: ...

(Cut to a half an hour later)

Spidermam: yah.. and that's how I burnt my first kitchen down

Guard1: that reminds me of this time my dad blew up our garage!

Guard2: damn it! How are you so good at chess?!

(His team mates in the backround managing to steal the data they need and flabagasted at how spiderman hasn't been shot yet)

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Robber: damn it to hell! How have I not hit you yet?

Spiderman: Well you know what they say! An apple a day keeps the angry robber from hurting him away!

(Robber throws his gun at spiderman as a last resort and hitting him across the head, sending him backwards)

Spiderman, groaning: aaaaugh, I forgot to eat my apple this morning.

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Robber, throwing a grenade at spiderman: HEADS!

Spiderman, desperately trying not to get shot: shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toooes and eyes and ears and-

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Spiderman, accidentally hitting a criminal harder than he intended: it's OK! Your fine, peachy even.

Robber, on the verge of consciousness: aaaugh, no I'm not

Spiderman: yes.. yes you are

Robber, crying: nooooOooooOoo

Spiderman: your be fiiiine.

Robber: aaauuaugh

Spiderman, putting a postit note for the police on his forehead: just. Mhmmm hold onto that for me.

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Spiderman, punching someone in the face: where the hell do you even get a bazooka from?!

Criminal, now tied onto the wall with webs on there mouth: mhmmmph

Spiderman: I mean! Its ridiculous! If you can get a bazooka you can get a job!

Criminal: mhmmmmph

(10 minuted if spiderman ranting to a poor criminal)

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Spiderman: OH EM GEE!

Criminal, suprised: what?

Spidermam: you have something on your face!

Criminal, self conscious: I do?!

Spiderman: yah let me get it for you

(Proceed to wipe food of the criminals mouth)

Criminal, turning to his friend, heatbroken: why didn't you tell me something was on my face?!

Criminal 2: what there was nothing on your face

Spiderman: don't lie! There something on your face as well

Criminal 2: what, really?

Spiderman: yah! My fists!?

(Spiderman knocks criminal 2 unconscious)

Criminal 1: YAH! Good job spidey, serves him right

Spidermam: what a fake friend

Criminal 1: ...

Spiderman: ...

Criminal 1: do I get to go?

Spiderman: sorry pal. At least you will look better for your mugshot?

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#peter parker #incorrect peter quotes #scenarios #smart peter parker #promps #writing inspiration #criminals all secretly like spiderman #peter parker gives no fucks

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number1abbasupporter · 5 months

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Sirius: i’m gay

James: that’s cool mate

James: everyone has gay thoughts though

Remus:

Peter:

Sirius:

Remus: boy do i have news for you

#i love the trope of bisexuals not realizing that not everyone has gay thoughts #it’s so funsies #this was basically inspired by the hand that feeds #my first fic i read 😍#there was a scene kinda like this but i def think it was diff #i barely remember #marauders era #marauders #james potter #sirius black #bisexual james potter #remus lupin #james & peter & remus & sirius #hp marauders #marauders fandom #incorrect marauders quotes

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