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#incorrect mcu
gamerkuddles · 17 minutes ago
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Hal: "Why are Loki and Thomas sitting with their backs to each other?" Conrad: "They had a fight." Hal: "Then why are they holding hands?" Conrad: "Thomas gets sad when they fight."
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gamerkuddles · 22 minutes ago
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Adam, setting down a card: "Ace of spades" Loki, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Magnus, pulling out a Pokémon card: "Jolteon, I choose you" Thomas, trembling: "What are we playing"
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gamerkuddles · 25 minutes ago
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Loki, Thomas, and William are sitting on a bench Jonathan: "Why do you guys look so sad?" Loki: "Sit down with us so we can tell you." *Jonathan sits down* Loki: "The bench is freshly painted."
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gamerkuddles · 30 minutes ago
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Tom: "You know those things will kill you, right?" Adam, pouring another glass of whiskey: "That’s the point." Robert, smoking a cigarette: "We’re trying to speed up the process." Loki: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
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gamerkuddles · 34 minutes ago
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Loki: "Okay, okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT."
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incorrectgamora · an hour ago
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*Buying shoes for their kids.*
Gamora: *holds up two pairs* Which one do you like better?
Peter: I don’t know, probably our daughter.
Gamora: The shoes, honey. Not the kids.
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randomfandomcheeto · an hour ago
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Tony: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*
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underoooos · an hour ago
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Tony : The best part of an Oreo is the black cookie part, not that frosting crap
Peter: Darkness without light is an abyss...light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side :)
Harley: Yo Socrates it's a fucking cookie
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westannatasharomanoff · an hour ago
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Thor: Did you see Lady Natasha out there? I mean, good thing she’s on our side, because that was… violent.
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aquamarinescarlet · an hour ago
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Steve: What do you call sabotage and vandalism?
Tony: A hobby.
Steve:
Tony: … that I do not engage in.
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prettyboy-percy · 2 hours ago
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peter: consider the following…
peter: seatbelts, except they throw you out of your seat, and they're called yeetbelts
bucky: *whispers under his breath as he vigorously searches through his flashcards* what the fuck is a yeet
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olsenbcttany · 2 hours ago
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Tommy: Vivian asked for a milkshake, so like a good big brother, I decided to make one. Then she forgot to put the top on the blender.
Wanda: So, you put your baby sister in charge of an electrical appliance?
Tommy: And she let me down.
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Peter: You think Harley and I are immature?
Tony: Well, a bit, yes
Peter: Hmm. Well, Harley, what do you think?
Harley, from inside the blanket Fort: Mr. Stark’s not allowed to come in then
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lesbian-deadpool · 2 hours ago
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Wanda: Do you guys think that the cops are gonna go through our stuff?
Y/N: What are you afraid of? They’ll look through your dream journal?
Wanda: No, I just-
Clint: What, are you running a sweatshop back there for skirts that look like curtains?
Wanda: Actually-
Tony: What’d you steal a kiss and hide it in an envelope?
Everyone: *Laughs*
Wanda: I have an ancient magic book that says I am meant to destroy the world.
Everyone: 
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mjmate · 2 hours ago
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Bucky: You're pretty dumb
Sam: Aww thank you
Bucky: Why are you thanking me, I'm insulting you
Sam: All I heard was "you're pretty"
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headcanonthings · 3 hours ago
Conversation
Bucky: You were charged with breaking into a pet store?
Clint: I thought the puppies might be lonely
Bucky:...that's valid.
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