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9worldstales · 3 years

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MCU Loki: Why I fear they failed to deliver what they promised

At this point I’m kind of confused by who the “Loki” series is trying to reach or which is the goal/message they’re trying to pass along.

They had tried to intrigue assorted audience but, if you ask me, the series has often failed to deliver what it seemed to promise.

Of course I might be wrong. Or maybe I'm not seeing another type of audience the series aimed and managed to reach.

When the series started I wanted to keep a positive mentality and hope whatever seemed not to work would be fixed along the way or have a reason for existing that I just wasn't seeing because I hadn't seen the full story yet.

However, after 5 episodes I'm starting to lose hope the series will make a genuine effort to reach the fans at whom it seemed to aim.

PART 1 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD FANS WHO PRODUCED META SHOWING HOW HIS TRAUMA DAMAGED HIM

"I think it's the struggle with identity, who you are, who you want to be. I'm really drawn to characters who are fighting for control. Certainly you see that with Loki over the first 10 years of movies, he's out of control at pivotal parts of his life, he was adopted and everything and that manifest itself through anger and spite towards his family." [Loki's Struggle With His Identity Confirmed To Be A Focus Of His Disney+ Series]

What was it about Loki as a character that attracted you? He’s just fun, for one. He has a very playful sense of humor about him. I like how he never quite lets you know what he’s thinking. Beyond that, what I connect to about him is the same thing the legions of fans do, which is his humanity and his vulnerability. This is a guy who—yes, on the one hand, he was the prince of Asgard, seems like a nice life—but his father, in fact, killed his actual birth father, adopted him, lied to him about his heritage and parentage his entire life, he was forced to live in the shadow of his oafish older brother who was born to be king. He’s experienced a lot of trauma, and I think that what he’s looking for is just a little bit of control over his life. Which he feels like maybe he’s never quite had. That’s something I think we can all relate with. [From Loki to Doctor Strange and Star Wars, Michael Waldron Is the New Franchise Whisperer]

Let’s be honest, the audience for the “Loki” series is not really meant to be Marvel movies old time fans who enjoyed “Thor” and “The Avengers”, made countless Meta analyzing Loki’s behaviour and who wanted answers about what happened to Loki prior to “The Avengers” or wanted to see Loki’s family terrible dynamics be discussed, or at least to see explored the wrong dynamics of Loki’s interracial adoption (he’s taken away from his planet, the truth is hidden from him, his look is changed to disguise him as an Asgardian, nothing is done against the racial hate for the Jotuns at which Loki is exposed, even witnessing it from his brother) or talk how much in control of himself Loki was during “The Avengers” (okay, the web said the sceptre manipulated Loki, but what about acknowledging that in his own series? It doesn’t have to come from Loki who had no idea he was manipulated but someone could mention ‘think yourself lucky here the stones don’t work, they’ve the nasty tendency to manipulate people’).

The series has avoided digging into all that as much as they could.

Even when Loki talks with Sylvie, the most we get is a small big about how Frigga was awesome in his eyes and taught him magic, but this isn’t meant to explain any of the issues Loki had with his family, it just make Sylvie feel bad because she can’t remember her adoptive mother, as for the D.B. Cooper born out of a bet with Thor, yeah, fun but completely random. What’s meant to be the message about family dynamics here, that it was the bets between Thor and Loki that caused Loki to decide to conquer Earth? Or what about the Sif loop? Is it there to push on Loki the blame of his poor relation with Sif?

No, clearly not.

In regard to Loki the Frigga flashback is there to remark he had a loving and supportive family while the other two are there to have Loki admit he is ‘a mischievous scamp’, ‘a horrible person’ and ‘a narcissist’.

To put it in Classic Loki’s words: ‘Damn it! Animals, animals! We lie and we cheat, we cut the throat of every person who trusts us, and for what? Power. Glorious power. Glorious purpose! We cannot change. We're broken, every version of us. Forever. And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they're sent here to die.’

In short it’s all Loki’s fault if he does bad, nothing happened to him that could have messed him up, he’s just a horrible person… however…

PART 2 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD AND NEW FANS WHO BELIEVED LOKI TO BE A DANGEROUS, EVIL, PSYCHOPATH VILLAIN EITHER

"Loki is an a**, and that makes my life as a writer, easy." ... "Due to the trauma in Loki’s life, I would even [accept a story] in which he is committed to being all bad." [Michael Waldron on Loki: He’s an a**. That makes things easy]

Considering the series is trying to pin SOLELY on Loki his wrongdoing, completely skipping the toxic way in which he was raised you might think they want to paint him as an evil, psychopath who was just born bad.

But no, that’s not the intention, we see it from the start.

Loki is given a quick briefing on how his beloved family loved him despite him hurting them, a briefing that contains false information which would work if we accept the briefing as manipulative but, at this point I’m not so sure that was the author’s intent. The Doylist purpose of the briefing is clearly to show the audience how Loki cares for his family, how he still has feelings, feels pain at the idea Frigga and Odin died and wish to make up with his brother.

It’s not just they loved him and did nothing wrong toward him, it’s also he who loved them and didn’t mean to harm them. That’s why we’re fed that damn discourse about Loki sending the Dark Elves to kill Frigga, because the series wants to remark that no, Loki didn’t want to kill his family, he loved them.

Tom Hiddleston used to say what Loki is came from a place of pain but the series didn’t explore that place of pain… it just gave him more pain and not just in episode 1. Episode 2 has him discovering Asgard is destroyed, episode 3 has him remembering Frigga, episode 4 shows him believing Sylvie die and watching Mobius being pruned. He doesn’t cry in Ep 5, episode 5 wants us to truly feel bad for Sylvie, not for him, but there’s a lot of bitterness from Classic Loki who commits a heroic suicide so you might say we get a sad Loki anyway.

And this also works as a shock to make him change his mind about his ‘glorious purposes’. Sorta, with Thor reminding us he’s not so bad and Loki explaining his behaviour as “I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to. Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”

Plot-wise, this is completely useless.

The show will prove Sylvie is not Loki and has completely different motivations and Mobius, being an expert in Variants, should know.

What’s more why would Mobius care if Loki enjoys hurting people or not?

His goal is to capture Sylvie with Loki’s help. The most he should care about is how to keep Loki loyal to him, not if Loki has fun hurting people or not which, in fact, is a knowledge that won’t be used in his investigation.

No, this is here for the viewers, to tell them Loki isn’t a sadistic, evil villain, he’s someone weak who tries to scare others so as not to look weak. As Mobius will put in ‘a scared little boy, shivering in the cold’ who has an ‘insecure need for validation’.

What’s more?

The show will try his hardest to establish he’s not even competent.

Let’s talk of him as a fighter.

In the movies Loki is a competent fighter and side material establish he’s pretty strong, definitely much more than a human.

In “The Avengers” we see Captain America needs Iron Man’s help to beat him and, anyway, Loki’s plan was to be captured. Loki manages to walk away on his feet when Coulson hits him with that superspecial weapon and it’ll take him to be Hulk smashed after a fight with Thor and a meeting with an explosive arrow of Hawkeye before he can’t fight any longer.

This doesn’t happen in the “Loki” series.

Loki gets beaten up by various people in 4 episodes, preferably women (B-15, the people possessed by Sylvie, the guards on the train, Sif). You might say in episode 5 he’s not but actually Classic Loki is the one who gets swallowed by Alioth and our Loki instead survives because he has Sylvie supporting him as, on his own he couldn’t even distract Alioth.

Let’s talk of him as a wizard.

He can use magic, impressive magic but… it serves him mostly nothing. In the TVA his magic doesn’t work. Outside of it is mostly useless. It doesn’t help win fights. The Tempad he caused to disappear gets broken. To beat Alioth they needs enchantment, not his own magic. What’s more, when they’ve to go on the train his disguise wouldn’t have worked without Sylvie’s enchantment and, if this wasn’t enough, he got drunk, removed the disguise and wasn’t even able to make tickets appear.

Classic Loki too, with his impressive illusions is ultimately a distraction. Alioth tears easily through his illusions which aren’t even solid.

Let’s talk of him as a planner.

All Loki will accomplish is to escape from the Time theatre for a brief period in episode 1 and figure out Sylvie hides in apocalypses in episode 2. The rest of his plans fails or are not plan or are mocked over and not even put into practice.

Let’s talk about him as a manipulator with a silver tongue.

He can’t even persuade Mobius when he’s telling him the truth, Mobius dismisses it as a lie due to ‘cockroach's survival mechanism’.

And psychologically?

He’s just someone who crave attention because he’s a narcissist scared of being alone. Not a psychopath.

Loki is not meant to be a dangerous, evil, psychopath villain in this series, he’s a not serious man, a clown, a scared little boy in need of attention, a narcissist who needs to be loved.

Welcome to cartoon villain Loki, this Loki isn’t the Variant of “The Avengers” Loki, he’s the Variant of “Avengers Assemble”Loki… only he’s even less competent than him.

PART 3 – “LOKI” IS NOT EVEN HERE FOR GENERAL MARVEL MOVIE FANS

"That's a lot of Infinity Stones. That's true but they are useless there in the TVA, so I don't know. Is that gun loaded or not? We'll see..." [Loki Writer Comments On Whether TVA’s Infinity Stones Will Return In MCU]

“We had to create an insane institutional knowledge of how time travel would work within the TVA so the audience never has to think about it again. It was a lot of drawings of squiggly timelines.” Marvel already made its case for how time travel works in Avengers: Endgame, but that, Waldron points out, “is the way the Avengers understand it.” With a TV show it’s a little different. “I was always very acutely aware of the fact that there’s a week between each of our episodes and these fans are going to do exactly what I would do, which is pick this apart. We wanted to create a time-travel logic that was so airtight it could sustain over six hours. There’s some time-travel sci-fi concepts here that I’m eager for my Rick and Morty colleagues to see.” [How the Man Behind LokiIs Shaping Marvel’s Phase 4 and Beyond]

BC: The TVA is there to clean everybody up? MW: Yeah, Avengers: Endgame… that's how The Avengers understand time travel. 'Loki,' episode one, is how the TVA explains time travel to Loki and we're certainly building on what's come before us. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

It’s true “Loki” is focusing on a new corner of the MCU but it interconnects very poorly with the movies before it.

Although Loki escaped with the Tesseract... it just dismisses completely the Infinity Stones.

Despite talking a lot about timelines and creating branching realities it waved away the whole plot of "Avengers: Endgame" as apparently supposed to happen even though it should have created branching realities.

We see Renslayer wave away how the Avengers went in the past causing the Tesseract to end up in Loki’s hands... and all the other things the Avengers did that affected the past goes unmentioned.

Bruce meeting the Ancient, Thor meeting his mother and taking away Thor’s hammer, Rocket being seen as he steals the reality stone from Jane, Tony stealing a suitcase and damaging the place in which the Tesseract was kept then meeting Howard Stark, 4 flacons of Pyn particles missing, an alarm given to the military bases, how Steve managed to bring back the sceptre if that timeline was pruned, how a timeline handled being without Thanos and Co as they went in the future or how they clearly didn’t bring the orb back the second they took it as Nebula remained unconscious there and nobody came and when she woke up Thanos could get her. It didn’t even explain why Steve remaining with Peggy didn’t change anything.

It's not that the audience has all explained... it's that they were told to dismiss it as 'meant to happen' and that was it.

What's more, the TVA apparently didn't list a finger to stop 2014 Thanos from going in the future and causing Tony Stark's death.

As if this wasn't enough, “Loki” just skips any possible connection with the movies, even hands Loki false information about them (he lead the Dark Elves to his mother when Loki had no idea the Kurse was a Dark Elf and they would have found her anyway as they were searching for the Aether which Malekith could sense, he’s born solely to cause pain and suffering and death, overlooks how he saved Jane twice or helped the Asgardian escape Hela) and never discusses them again.

Even with Classic Loki, who’s a Variant of “Avengers: Infinity War” Loki, they don’t talk about what happened after Loki’s supposed dead, apparently hinting it was better if he died, nor explain how Loki knew Thor survived.

PART 4 – “LOKI” IS NOT REALLY OFFERING A GOOD REPRESENTATION FOR FEMALES EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY AIMS AT FEMALE AUDIENCE

Let’s make a quick experiment.

Everyone, let’s name all the characters we remember which appeared in more than 1 episode of “Loki” for more than one minute.

We’ve, of course, Loki, Mobius, B-15, Renslayer, Sylvie, C-20 and Miss Minute.

5 females versus 2 males.

What’s more, females are not sexualized, they remains completely dressed, they’re clearly not there to attract male gazes, they’re represented as strong, dangerous, in control, something archived often by showing them beating males either physically or intellectually or in rank.

It seems promising. At first.

Is there someone who’s sexualized?

The “Loki” series takes care to offer us Tom Hiddleston naked.

So since there’s an abundance of females in the cast and Tom Hiddleston is shown naked is it aiming at a female audience?

Very, very likely but… but how’s then handled all this?

When Loki is seen undressed he’s not in a situation of power, like Thor who’s twice shows half naked in his movies but because he’s changing/washing and perfectly comfortable in showing his body and once in a situation which could be a male forbidden fantasy, to have many women massage your naked body, no, he’s shown as he’s powerless while being stripped by a machine. Clearly not a male power fantasy, more like a male nightmare.

And, in a totally not surprising way, pictures of this scene were spread by many female fans because it was aimed at them… though a part of them, was also honestly appalled at seeing this scene in contest, finding the forced stripping humiliating and degrading.

Sure, a naked Tom Hiddleston makes a nice eye-candy but this wasn’t how Loki’s many fans wanted to see Loki naked.

But let’s talk of female representation here, since the show seems to be interested in female audience… only who even though this was the representation women wanted doesn’t understand much of women representation in the first place.

Why?

For start because women here are all the same type of woman.

Strong fighters who’re in control and confident, with no real characterization beyond this to speak of despite the large amount of screen time.

Renslayer is an ex-hunter who can fight one on one against Sylvie and who clearly has the position of power she has because she was good as a hunter and shows her abilities in fighting after that Sylvie had beaten 2 guards at the same time. B-15 is introduced by beating Loki and is the commander of a squad. C-20 is another commander and, albeit possessed, can dispose of a part of her squad members.

Do I need to spend words on how Sylvie is depicted as this awesome fighter who has learnt to fight by herself, can keep at bay more than 1 Minuteman, can use a sword, has learnt enchantment on her own and is feared by all the TVA? Do I?

And it’s awesome to have women who are strong fighters in positions of command/power/control… but why women has to be represented as just that?

Even when they add a female as an one episode cameo, it's Sif, beating the hell out of Loki. And what about the Lady in Lamentis 1 who was too old to be strong but managed to blast away both Loki and Sylvie seeing through their deceptions?

Even the harmless Miss Minute can avoid being hit by Loki and gets she has to pretend to do researches to stall Sylvie and save Renslayer.

Women kick asses here… but that’s all they’re good for.

And so we get to Sylvie, who is the superior Loki Variant… because she’s female.

Kid Loki: You're different. Why? Loki: No, I'm not, you see? I'm the same, really. I'm the same as all of you. Have any of you met a woman Variant of us? Classic Loki: Sounds terrifying. Loki: Oh, she is. But that's kind of what's great about her. She's different. She's not trying to take over the TVA, she's trying to take it down. And she needs me. Now, you said Alioth is what keeps us here. You said it's a living thing. You said it's a shark. Well, if it lives, it dies. So I'm gonna kill the shark. I'm gonna kill Alioth, and I could use all the help I can get.

That’s what Loki preaches to his fellow Lokis who think a woman Loki would be terrific.

I mean, they’ve an alligator Loki, a POC Loki, but the one who has to be different is the female Loki. Because being female is a character trait.

Mobius: Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. I like it. It's appropriate. [Ep 1]

Basically females in the “Loki” series are all representation of the Action girl trope and aren’t even different representation of said trope. I mean, “The Avengers” have 5 actions boy who’re clearly as different as they could be. Girls can be represented as different too, if they really aim at young audience they can take good old “Sailor Moon” as an example. 5 action girls who are strong and determinate AND DIFFERENT, more than just someone who kicks the adversary away.

And it’s not like they don’t know how to characterize people in a different way.

Mobius is an analyst who shows sympathetic traits toward the Variants and a certain level or intelligence. U-92 and D-90 are hunters who are shown to held Variants in little regard (U-92 wanted to attack the boy they found in the church, D-90 mistreated the scared people in the shelter). Casey is an harmless and naïve guy who had never seen a fish. The guy who made Loki sign the papers about what he said seemed emotionless but he clearly loved cats as not only he had one but on his cup there was also the image of a cat. Martin is clearly a bossy daddy’s son, who think too high of himself to the point he can’t respect rules. The boy in the church, despite thinking Sylvie was a demon, accepted and ate food she gave him and remained in the place despite the crime. He’s clearly more brave than he looked like but he’s also naïve as he easily trusted ‘the demon’ and Mobius.

What’s C-20 character trait when she gets described by Sylvie?

Sylvie: Yeah. She was just a regular person on Earth. Loki: A regular person? Sylvie: Loved margaritas.

She’s a regular person who loves margaritas. Liking a drink is not a character trait!

There’s a more diverse female representation in “Thor” than in “Loki”.

In “Thor” we’ve Frigga, queen of Asgard, loving mother and wife who’s powerless to erase Thor’s banishment. We’ve Sif, a dangerous and loyal warrior. We’ve Jane, the amazing scientist with a lot of enthusiasm. We’ve Darcy, who’s funny and who seems focused mostly on herself but who, when the city is attacked, worried to save all the animals at the pet store.

But maybe the one who gets the worst treatment is the supposed heroine, Sylvie, because the poor girl is turned into a Mary Sue.

In case someone isn’t familiar with the term:

“The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal. She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc. Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series.” [tvtropes.org]

So let’s see how she fits this checklist:

1) She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour: Sylvie painted her hair blonde even though the Lokis are supposed to be black haired

2) has a similarly cool and exotic name: She is the only Loki Variant who has changed her name from Loki to Sylvie.

3) She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting: Awesome at fighting she can enchant people, an ability the Lokis don’t posses, that she magically learnt on her own and that is necessary in the story. Also she figured out how a Tempad worked BEFOREseeing it in action.

4) She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing: No flaws, all her plans involve fighting and brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile, which could be a flaw… if it wasn’t for the fact that the series will prove Sylvie can plan just fine without using fighting and brute strength and also be successful at it.

5) She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story: She was taken by the TVA when she was younger than Kid Loki but managed to escape them and had to live alone and on the run till then.

6) The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting: Loki, who has never loved anyone, falls for her, Mobius saves her and apologizes to her, B-15, who used to look down at Variants, basically asks her what should they do and is shown admiring her, the Lokis don’t criticize her plan, Classic Loki dies to save her, everyone views her as the superior Loki Variant.

7) if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal: Renslayer, the hunter who has arrested her, is currently playing the part of the antagonist who’s fascist and believes in a murderous, lying cult.

8) She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc.: She’s the Variant and love interest of the titular character.

9) Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series: Loki, the title character, has conveniently been turned into someone who’s a weak fighter and incapable of planning which Sylvie has to save by enchanting guards or giving him her sword or pruning herself or teaching him how to enchant and coming up with all the plans.

Now all she needs in order to be a perfect Mary Sue is to know how to sing well as Mary Sue usually do this as well, though I’m sure she can do it because Loki could so she surely can.

Sylvie is amazing, Loki himself said so:

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!

There’s nothing inherently wrong in having a new female character who’s competent, for whom the hero falls and who changes him… if all this is built around a solid plot.

Think at “Iron Man”.

Tony Stark is, to quote Tony Stark himself a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? But the movie shows us why he’s that.

It spends time setting up his pedigree, how he inherited the money and intelligence from his father, how he was supported as he grew and studied becoming always a greater genius. Tony shows himself to be charming before seducing his first woman onscreen so that when he does it makes sense. His philanthropic activities are, at first, just mentioned but seems rooted in how his father was a hero who helped fighting Nazi and then they became his mission. He felt guilty he was a merchant of death and tried to make up for it.

Sylvie too could have a solid plot behind herself.

Instead than magically knowing what a TemPad does and how it works and managing to escape with it, she could have escaped with, let’s say, a hunter that discovered the truth and decided to rebel to the TVA or just had pity of her. Maybe another Mobius Variant who used to work at the TVA prior to Mobius and that, instead than an analyst was a hunter. She might have learnt fighting from him and then he too died and she was left alone.

Enchantment might have been an ability she might have learnt coming in contact with a mind stone. It could have been an occasion also to talk how mind stones can influence people negatively. Or it could have been taught to her by Frigga who, with a female daughter, decided to teach her a different type of magic than Loki.

Her past could have been explored more instead than being tragic for the sake of tragic. We might have seen her fall in love and either be betrayed or have to say goodbye to her loved one because that reality got pruned. We might have seen her being interested in males and females alike as she’s supposed to be interested in both.

She could have had discussions with Loki that weren’t just about Frigga or about how the TVA kidnapped her from Asgard, she escaped and from that point on she was always on the run, or about how love didn’t feel real, but more about how they were, how they felt, what hurt them and what made them happy, what they liked and what they disliked, their ideals and their fears, things that can built up a relation.

Loki basically fall for her because she’s on a mission for revenge instead than power and seems confident. That’s his reasoning.

She falls for Loki… because apparently he’s the person who spend time with her who praised her. That’s not a solid love story, that’s desperation.

SYlvie could have flaws, she could have learnt diplomacy or persuasion from Loki or could have something she lacks and Loki has so that they would complete each other.

And since the purpose was to have Sylvie and Loki fall for each other… they could have let Loki have characteristics that can motivate the exceptional heroine to fall in love for him PRIOR to him falling in love for her. He might be shown good at something, instead than just a clown.

Even if we say the real purpose of this series was to turn Sylvie into the protagonist, the heroine, a good Loki character was still needed to explain why this awesome girl would fall for him.

So okay, there will surely still be women who can see themselves in Sylvie and imagine they got Loki… and it’s not bad really… but I think we deserved more.

Long story short, yes, “Loki” has many females in its cast and this is meant to draw the female audience… but the representation is poor as almost all of the females have no character traits and Sylvie is just a Mary Sue with no realistic characterization.

A good female representation is diverse and solid. Women don't need to be born irrealistically perfect out of nothing to be good, they can inherith and grow and learn to be as such like any human being.

Last but not least…

PART 5 – DOES “LOKI” REALLY OFFERS REPRESENTATION TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY?

BC: There is a lot of talk on social media about Loki being gender fluid. Wouldn't that actually be a natural fit for the character? MW: Yeah, I guess as, with all questions pertaining to that stuff, I think those answers, truly, are best experienced in the watching of the show, as opposed to me trying to answer them. Because it's just watching it and the way that's addressed and everything will just be more fulfilling. BC: Why do you think it's important that Loki is gender fluid? MW: I think that Loki is a character that a lot of fans see representation in. People that haven't felt represented before, and they see themselves in Loki and everything. So we want to do justice to the character, to who the character is in the comics and in Norse mythology as well. And you also … you know you want folks to feel represented, and everything. That's why it's important. It always has been. It comes from everybody on the creative team. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

The series hugely spread the info that this Loki would be fluid and Bisexual. The news were welcomed with delight and it’s awesome how the series didn’t hesitate to put it on paper.

Loki being fluid was written for everyone to see, and Loki having male and female interests was spelled out for everyone to hear.

IT’S A GREAT THING!

However…

It’s all we got.

It had no relevance into the plot whatsoever, it’s just a random info we’re given.

Him being fluid was on a paper along with his other data like eye colour and birth planet.

Him being interested in males and females seems to be put there just to imply he tried a large amount of people before deciding love didn’t feel real.

Assuming the other Lokis too were fluid, they actually found terrific the idea of a woman Loki in a not positive way. They weren’t interested or asking for clarifications about what Loki meant.

Loki’s bisexuality doesn’t even get a side story, them sending Fandral to beat Loki instead than Sif because Loki cheated on him or something. I’m not upset Loki ended up with a female, this is one of the possibilities of a Bisexual person. I’m upset that this was used merely to attract the audience but then wasn’t explored. They could have said Asgard was open minded with it, or disapproved it so Loki had to keep it hidden, or it could have been Sylvie who discussed some experience in that regard.

We were told over and over it was a show about identity. We expected it to be explored instead we were just told ‘ah, by the way, Loki is bisexual, let’s move on.’ And that was all.

Having representation from an important Marvel character is always important, especially considering the shortage of representation. But honestly I expected more.

PART 7 – TO SUM IT UP

Many of the people who worked in “Loki” are fantastic actors. They worked hard for this series, I can see they tried their best.

The premises for the “Loki” series are interesting.

We get a Loki who hadn’t experienced most of what happened in the movies yet, we make him confront with someone who knows his life, the one he lived and the one he was meant to live and we also make him confront with Variations of himself.

Loki has the Tesseract and the TVA has plenty of infinity stones, we could explore them.

The TVA itself have a fascist organization that dictates people’s lives and murders whoever tries to do differently, that goes so far as to brainwash the people working in it, which mistreats and belittle the Variants and establish a manipulative cult around the Time-Keeper with elements of police brutality which could be very actual.

Time travelling was the plot of "Avengers: Endgame" they could have tied the movie to the series, esplore the why some time travels were allowed and some weren't or their effects.

There were references to plenty of awesome comics they could take inspiration from.

But unless it redeems itself with the last episode… well, so far it’s failing to deliver what it promised due to a really poor plot which doesn’t give the characters a chance to be themselves or to be characterized as they’ve no real story nor real differences to speak of.

They’re given more time than a movie as they’re a series… but that’s no good excuse for wasting said time.

I’m still hoping the last episode will be spectacular, that it’ll manage to erase the messes of the other 5… but, as of now I’m disappointed.

I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope they’ll surprise me.

#mcu loki #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #9 worlds study

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

Text

acquainted | four

> series masterlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 4.2k

warnings: implied sexual content, your friends are still extra, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, making out, slight dry humping, you actually act on your hoe-ish thoughts because seokjinnie keeps testing you??

notes: 2nd member involved in this love triangle will be revealed next chapter and it’s actually gonna start getting messy. are you with me? 😈

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

A couple of days have passed and you were only getting more giddy as time passes. It sounds stupid as hell, and sometimes you can't help but curse yourself for having a crush on someone so unattainable. The thrill, though, is what excites you, and knowing that there's a possibility Jin may reciprocate the same feelings. Since he had placed his number in your phone, he had sent you random, occasional 'have a good day!' texts and smiley faces. Maybe it didn't help that he was only fueling the fire by sending you texts like this. You couldn't help but ponder on the thought that you had crossed his mind from time to time, and that my friends, was fucking attractive.

"Her head game was on point." Taehyung smirked and leaned back in his chair, making Ryujin roll her eyes at him.

"You're sick, no one asked about your night."

"Why do you sound so mad, sweetie?" He leaned closer to her.

"I'm not mad." She scooted her chair away from him. "Can you believe this right now?" She shot you a look, but you were too busy texting on your phone, responding to the messages you couldn't get to earlier.

[jin] 3:05pm: I hope your day has been treating you well. See you soon?

[y/n] 5:37pm: Been a little busy, but hasn't been bad. :) Excited for class!

You laughed at yourself because who even says 'Excited for class' like that? You were really playing yourself right now.

"Earth to Mr. Kim's mistress?" You shot Taehyung a look and immediately shoved his face away.

"Jeez, you've been glued to your phone so much lately. Did you find new dick, or something?" Ryujin asked as she rested her chin on the palm of her hand.

"No, god. I've just been trying to keep myself occupied." She shrugs and doesn't press any further. Thank god, because you hadn't told any of your friends how Jin comforted you that evening and how he had given you his personal number just to check in every now and then. You didn't plan on telling them anytime soon, only because they'd be dramatic about it and you didn't have the energy to calm the chaos that would ensue.

"Speaking of - have you guys started the assignment due next week for Mr. Kim's class?" Jimin kept his eyes on the work in front of him.

"No. I'll probably do that the day of." Taehyung says as he texts on his phone.

"I was going to ask him for help later."

"Were you now?" Jimin rose his eyebrow, shooting you a look.

"Yes, and it's only because I can't choose which topic to write about."

"Why don't you ask us?"

"Because this always ends up being an open-ended debate and the conversation ultimately ends with no decision made." Jimin nodded in agreement.

"Touché."

"Bat your eyelashes while you're at it, kay?" Ryujin giggles.

"You guys are free to join me."

"Mmm no thanks, I don't think I need any help right now." Jimin responds.

"Same. Besides, I'd rather not cockblock."

"Honestly so sick of you guys." You all end up packing your things to head to Jin's classroom, all four of you entering one by one and taking your seats near the front. Class goes by rather quickly, you and Jin stealing glances from time to time. Ryujin, Jimin and Taehyung offer to wait up for you near the library and you simply nod, letting them know you'll only take a quick minute to talk about the assignment. Once they've disappeared from the hallway corridor, you turn on your heels to make your way over to Jin at the front desk, where he's arranging his things and getting them together.

"Y/N, hey." He smiles at you, tilting his head to look at you from his stance. "What's up?"

"I uh, just wanted to ask for your opinion about the assignment. If.. you aren't busy?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"No, not at all. What's going on?"

"Well, I've just been having trouble deciding on a topic." You placed your things down.

"Alright, try me." He nods towards the whiteboard, signaling for you to scribble your ideas onto the board so he could help you map out your thoughts. You quietly walk over, grabbing the only black whiteboard marker available and start talking through your thoughts. He sits on the desk, arms crossed, watching you scribble on the board. He chimes in every now and then, either agreeing or disagreeing, and providing his honest opinion as to what might work best for the assignment.

"Mm, okay. I think that makes better sense." You step back and take a look at the things you've crossed out and circled, leaving you to finalize the topic for your assignment.

"Yeah, I think so." He stands and nods in agreement. You turn to look at him, only to realize how close in proximity your body was to his. His hands are tucked into his pockets while he looks down at you. Both of you don't move, regardless of how close you two are at the moment. You feel stuck, and the only option that crosses your mind is something you shouldn't even be thinking about. Yet, you still act on it. You find yourself on your tippy-toes laying a kiss on his plump lips, but you quickly pull away and gasp, realizing what you had done.

"I-I'm so sorry, I-" You stutter as you step back to try and quickly grab your things. "I gotta go." You dash out of the room, your heart beating through your chest. As soon as you were far as possible from his room, you slowed your pace to gather your breathing. You facepalmed so hard because what the fuck! You felt dumb as hell for acting the way you did, let alone for thinking his texts and all the attention even meant anything.

Way to fucking go, Y/N. You could feel how embarrassing next class will be already.

As soon as you spot your friends, you try to put on a smile and brush the thoughts out of your head when you see them waving you over. Jimin instantly throws his arm around your shoulder, helping you feel at ease as you momentarily forget about the events that just transpired.

"Ready? We're gonna go grab some pizza before heading home." You smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm down."

Jin grabbed his things, feeling a little conflicted about what just happened. He knew this was something that shouldn't have happened, nor should it ever happen again. Yet, he wanted more of this feeling you gave him. He longed for it. He couldn't explain the feeling he got when he felt your lips against his, he just knew he was interested in more. It was bad as fuck, but it was the same thrill you felt that peeked his interest.

Jin pulled into the lot of him and Grace's house, seeing he was the first one home yet again. It wasn't a surprise to him anymore, and quite frankly, he was used to being home first all the time. It would have been a surprise if Grace was here before he was. Not gonna lie, after what happened, it makes him feel a little empty inside. He's starting to feel like he wanted more of you and to see you outside of campus grounds. He wanted your company and enjoyed your presence, inside of the classroom and even through simple things like text. It just made him happy, and like he was appreciated. Wanted.

Yeah, that quick. He was starting to crave you.

He kicked off his shoes by the door and changed into comfier clothes. He took some time to work out at their home gym before eating whatever leftovers were left in the fridge. He happily warms up his food and quickly gobbles it up, leaving the dishes in the sink for him to get to later. He hops into a hot, relaxing shower, letting the heat hit his back and relax him from all the stress he had been experiencing lately. It was so relaxing that he didn't even hear Grace shut their front door. He only found out he wasn't alone when he heard dishes being washed and slammed onto the dish rack and cabinet doors being slammed shut. He dried himself off a bit, before wrapping the towel around his waist and heading into the kitchen to see what the commotion was.

"Hey, you're home." He says with a smile on his face, but she continued to place dishes on the rack without looking at him.

"Yeah, and you couldn't even think to wash your dishes and clean up the kitchen?" His smile immediately turned into a frown when he realized Grace was far from being in a good mood. Over what? Dishes that he was eventually going to wash anyways?

"I was going to get to them."

"Jeez, Jin. I've had such a long day, the least you could do is help out and clean up after yourself." She glared at him.

"Woah, hey. I do my part around here. Just because I didn't do my dishes right away doesn't mean I don't do anything at all under this house."

"Hasn't seemed like it." She walked away, brushing him off completely. If it's one thing Jin could point out about his fiancé, it was the fact that she liked to project when she was upset. It was the one thing that drove him crazy, and the one thing he felt like couldn't be fixed. It was just in her nature, no matter how many times they've fought and argued about it. He tries to be patient and understanding. He tries to relate. Yes, I'm sorry you had a bad day. But just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you bring the negative energy into this house.

"That's not fair, Grace."

"Grow up, Jin." She snapped as she headed upstairs. "I'm going up to pack and head to bed." He continued to watch her, appalled at the attitude she was throwing tonight. He really couldn't understand why this was happening over some dishes. He didn't wanna be here right now, and he wasn't going to deal with this shit. To be honest, he was feeling a little relieved knowing he'd get some space from her when she flies to New York for a week. She had some work to do for the opening of her restaurant down there, plus some related projects for her book.

He heads upstairs to throw on some jeans, a hoodie and a hat before passing Grace in their walk-in closet.

"Off for a drive again, huh?" She says as she keeps her eyes on the luggage laid out in front of her. It's sad that Grace knows what Jin does whenever he doesn't wanna deal with her attitude. But, no matter how many times he's tried to communicate and talk it out, it never mattered to her.

"Yeah, because it doesn't seem like you can communicate properly tonight."

"And how is a drive supposed to help?" She turns to look at him, but he doesn't say anything. She scoffs before returning her attention back to the clothes she was packing into her luggage. "Perfect. Run away from our issues, Jin. It's what you do best." He shook his head and sighed.

"I'm not doing this with you tonight, Grace. Not over some dishes that were eventually going to get washed and fixed." He walked out, but turned back on his heel to finish off his thoughts. "You know, I really wanted to have a nice night with you. Pop some wine and put on a movie, just to enjoy being in each other's presence since it feels like we haven't done that in a really long time. But, so be it." He threw his hands up in defeat and continued to walk out. He really did want to try, though. Part of him felt like he needed to because he was probably just longing for that attention from his fiancé, which is why he had been feeling the way he had been about you. Maybe it would have helped him brush it off like it was a silly, little crush. However, tonight just amplified those feelings he had for you and he wanted nothing more but to just see you and hear your voice.

He lowers the brim of his cap as he walks to his car, instantly starting it up and driving off. At first, he was conflicted. He wasn't sure if he was making the right decision or not, or if his judgment was cloudy. But something in him tweaked and made him say, fuck it. He was tired, and for once, he just wanted to feel wanted.

You sat on your living room floor, putting together a vision board for yourself. A ton of magazine cut outs and printouts laid alongside of you, waiting to be organized onto the small white board. You had been rearranging the layout for quite some time, feeling a little frustrated at the perfectionist in you. This definitely could have been quicker if you hadn't picked at the fine details too much. It was nearing 10:30pm; after you and your friends had ate pizza together, you all went your separate ways, tired from this week's events already. You especially didn't want to linger around, the thought of you kissing Jin in the classroom still haunting you. You felt your phone vibrating off to the side, signaling a call coming in.

Speak of the devil.

You hesitate, afraid that this had to do with what happened earlier and to be frank, you weren't sure if you were ready to deal with the repercussions just yet. The call ends, but a text notification pops up at the top of your screen.

[jin] 10:27pm: Are you free right now?

[y/n] 10:28pm: Sorry, yeah I am. What's up?

[jin] 10:29pm: Can we meet up?

You stare at your phone, unsure if you should take the opportunity to see him. It could mean a lot of things, or it could mean nothing. It could be about the kiss, or it couldn't be. But, you can't help but feel a little guilty that he had been there for you when you needed someone and here you were, contemplating if you should blow him off.

[y/n] 10:32pm: Sure. Is everything okay?

[jin] 10:32pm: I think, kind of just need some good company.

[y/n] 10:33pm: Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll come. Just let me know where.

You watch as he drops his location into the message, and it's not too far from where you live. You actually are quite familiar with the area to know that he's sending you up to a view that overlooks the Bay Bridge. You and your friends used to go there often during undergrad, just to eat edibles and eat hella junk food. Those were the days. You all quickly outgrew it though.

The drive up is a little scary, with only a few street lights posted as you drive up the hill. You catch a glimpse of Jin's car, being that he's already leaning against it, facing the view. You pull up into the empty spot next it, taking a deep breath and recollecting your thoughts before stepping out. Whatever it is, just be honest. That kiss was because you wanted to kiss him, but perhaps you misread the vibe about everything.

Not perhaps. You for sure misread the vibe about everything. He's fucking engaged. There was no way.

"I brought you brownie." Is the first thing you say as you hand him a ziploc with a huge brownie square. "There's no weed in it or anything, I promise it's clean." He chuckles as he takes it from you. "I just figured you could use a picker upper since you seemed like you might've need it."

"Thank you." His trunk had been open, so he takes a seat and invites you to sit next to him. You leave a bit of space just to be sure, since you already crossed your boundaries earlier and you weren't even sure how that was gonna play in to tonight.

"So, what's on your mind?" You dread asking him the question but you knew there was a reason he brought you out here.

"I, uh. Just had a pretty tough day and wanted to surround myself around good company." He turned to look at you.

"Oh, so I made the good company list?" You chuckle.

"Yeah, you did." He looks back out at the view. You examine him, his body language still a little tense from whatever he had just experienced.

"Was it Grace?" You ask softly and he nods in return.

"We've just been having issues. It's no biggie."

"No biggie, huh? Then why are we out here looking at the bay bridge?" He chuckles again. You think it's cute the way his dimples under his eyes pop out when he smiles and laughs.

"Touché. I mean, what if I just wanted to hang out with someone who could cheer me up?"

"Wow, then that's a lot of pressure on me." You laugh. "I can already tell something's wrong. You were there for me, so I just want you to know that I'm all ears." He sighed.

"It's kind of dumb? Maybe not? Me and Grace just haven't been the same for awhile now."

"How so?"

"We're just distant. We haven't done things together like we used to because we're both busy and so wrapped up with work."

"Jin." You smile shyly because this couldn't be a serious excuse. You always need to try and make things work! "You know being busy shouldn't be an excuse, right?"

"I know, I know." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, it's difficult to explain. I question if we're still in love with each other or if we're just sticking to this because we're comfortable."

"Deep down, I know you still love and care for her."

"I do. It's been hard to show that these past months. I guess.. what I'm trying to say is that it's been easy to focus more on the negatives than the positives. There have been more negatives than positives."

"Why don't you sit her down and talk about this?"

"I can't. I try, but I really can't. She's always coming home in a nasty mood all the time."

"Well, she might have a lot to balance on her plate. Not everyone approaches things the same way and if you know Grace easily shuts people out when she's overwhelmed or stressed, then I think you just need to continue supporting her by simply being there for her."

"I know." He looks down at his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking. I hear you loud and clear though." He smiles at you toothlessly.

"Try talking to her. Work it out. I know she's important to you."

"She is but," He shakes his head once more. "I can't shake off this feeling."

"What feeling?"

"It's going to sound stupid."

"Nothing is ever stupid." He simply looked at you before responding.

"Earlier, in the classroom—" Fuck, you thought. You thought you had just gotten lucky tonight and that you both had put it past you so that you could move on without ever mentioning it. But half of you knew you'd still have to confront your mistake either way. Nothing was ever that easy.

"Jin, I'm so sorry, I didn't think about—"

"I didn't want you to stop." He spits out, causing you to stop mid-sentence. Your eyes widened after you had just registered what he had said. Was he fucking playing with you right now? This shit really couldn't be real.

"W-what?"

"I can't shake off this feeling because of you and as bad as it sounds, I really don't want that to go away."

"Jin." You say softly. "You should really work this out with Grace. This feeling is just temporary and you know it is because she's your fiancé. What happened earlier was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened." It kind of sucks, but it's true. You don't really know why you did what you did and what you wanted out of it. You knew what this would entail and it would be too messy. People would just end up getting hurt left and right. It would be a domino effect.

"Was it though?"

"I'm not trying to get in between you two." You beat around the bush with your response.

"Then, what did you want out of that earlier?" He stares at you. You can't help but feel yourself melt at the way he's eyeing you and the way he's actually teasing the fuck out of you with his piercing eyes.

"I don't know." He continues to stare, but this time his face is edging closer to yours.

"You can't even tell me straight up that it was nothing." He says, almost at a whisper. Your knees are starting to buckle beneath you and although you knew you needed to stop this, you couldn't see yourself doing it right at this moment.

"We shouldn't be doing this." You whisper, his lips inches away from yours at this point.

"Then why aren't you stopping me, Y/N?" No response. Before you knew it, your eyes were shut as your lips pressed against his. The feeling of his lips sent chills down your spine, his hand now tugging you closer to his body. You waste no time straddling his lap, deepening the kiss as your hands rest on his face and your hips grind against his. God, he was so fucking attractive and everything about him drove your ass crazy. You wanted him.

But you couldn't have him.

"Stop, stop." You edged your head back, reality settling in once his hands start to dip inside your sweats. "We really shouldn't be doing this." You climb off of him and gather your things.

"Y/N, wait."

"Jin." You turn to look at him. "Listen to me. We would never work."

"I wouldn't say never—"

"Look, this is already difficult as is and I'm trying really hard not to make this even more complicated for anyone. At the end of the day, you're still with Grace. You're still engaged to Grace." You emphasized. "I can't get in between you two, and I don't want to hurt her." How in the fuck did things escalate so quickly? How did we get here?

"I know that, and I know you don't. But you can't tell me that you didn't feel anything just now."

"I'm not saying that I didn't. I did, I-I do." You stuttered on your own words. "But I shouldn't be acting on it and neither should you. You should really focus on working things out in your relationship. I know deep down you love her and want to make this work."

"That's the thing, Y/N. I don't know how else I can make this work with her. I've ran out of options."

"Jin, you planned to marry her! You do understand that you can't just give up on someone like that, especially your future wife."

"As much as I appreciate this and understand where you're coming from, you don't know our relationship."

"I just don't want you to give up on her. I want you to try for her, not just because I told you so." He can see how serious things have turned, and he knew you were right. This would be complicated. But damn, was he undeniably attracted to you and he loved the feeling he got from all of this.

"I-" He sighs. "You make me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time."

"You have your life planned out already, and so does Grace. You obviously saw a life and a future with her, and that's what you should continue building. I don't even know how to get from point A to point B in life and I still have shit to learn. Like-like changing car lights or how to do a fucking oil change by myself! I'm a mess. I'm not the one you should be thinking about."

"I don't care about that." He spits out as he gently grabs your wrist and turns you to face him.

"Don't make this harder than it already is." With all this shit going on, you still found yourself wanting him the same way you did earlier. Looking at him made you want to do unspeakable things and it didn't help that he gave you the green light to do so.

The temptations.

"I'm not trying to."

"We should really keep our distance from each other, okay? You need to work things out and I'm going to give you the space to do so."

"Fuck, Y/N. I really don't want that."

"I'm sorry." You whisper as you break free from his grip and get back into your car. You hear him groan, causing you to cry to yourself as you drive off and get back home. One mistake turned everything upside down, and now everything was suddenly 10x more complicated than it ever was in the beginning. You couldn't help but curse yourself and blame yourself for letting this happen the way it did.

But shit is done. The mistake happened. There was no taking it back.

You just needed to give him space to get over it, and that would be the end of it. Easy.

Or so you assume.

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theflashdriver · 3 years

Text

Summer Nights (A Silvaze Fanfic)

This evening’s predicament was a creeping inevitability the Blaze had been powerless to escape. She had been unable to perceive its advancement directly, but the princess had monitored the gradually mounting evidence. More often than not, she’d arrive in one of the palace’s rooms only to find its windows were already open. On her rare ventures into town, she’d found the streets mired by ice-cream vendors and citizens wielding frozen treats. Even the lengthening of days had made her aware of the change occurring.

But, of course, Southern Island’s summer shift in temperature had been most obvious to Blaze through her partner. Silver the hedgehog was many things but subtle wasn’t one of them. The psychic didn’t whine often, only when he was seriously perplexed, but his emotions tended to manifest themselves in other ways. He’d smile so radiantly whenever he was happy, shout so casually in defiance of injustices, hide his tears so poorly and blush whenever she dared to pierce his armour of obliviousness.

For the past week he’d fought the heat, trying his hardest to appear unphased. She’d aided in his consumption of a frankly unhealthy volume of ice-cream, numerous quarts per day, and spent far more time with him in the island’s waters than she could truly spare. Watching him revert from being over excited to wear clothes, donning comfortable hoodies that she’d happily steal and owning a slightly overlarge wardrobe, to a mostly unclothed state had certainly been an experience. These were mere quirks though, surface level changes in his nature that she could easily overlook. He’d gone through similar phases before, when the psychic had first arrived in her world he’d spent night after night sleeping atop a hill and watching the stars.

Tonight however, regardless of the hedgehog’s apparent attempts to dull his reaction, Blaze couldn’t ignore his irregularity. He’d tried his hardest to lie still for a good full hour only to ease gently up and flip his pillow before returning to resume their spooning. During the hour that followed, Blaze had felt him shift away from her in the tiniest and most awkwardly slight of increments until his arms had been reaching for the feline rather than holding her. He’d eventually dared, after much trepidation and in the gentlest manner possible, to completely release her before cautiously shifting into a back to back position. He’d even pealed the covers from himself and carefully bundled them against the princess, leaving himself fully exposed.

Her silk sheets were thin, the balcony door was ajar and there was some space between them, but she supposed those boons were being undercut by the palace’s lack of air conditioning and her own body. Silver was clearly too hot to sleep. It was a phenomenon that Blaze understood, albeit one that she was incapable of personally experiencing.

Across her life, the downsides of her pyrokinetic condition had been far more blatant than the positives. Tonight’s hindsight had hardly made up for that, but it had granted her a greater insight into her partner and the world at large. In one peculiar aspect, she was fortunate; her affinity for flames kept her body naturally hot so the changing of seasons mostly went unfelt. Just as snowflakes would evaporate whenever they sought refuge within her fur, the warm air that surrounded them was cool in comparison to her natural temperature. It took a serious change to phase her, like the enveloping embrace of the sea or the unequivocal presence of lava, but such feelings would quickly fade once she reached some form of sanctity.

A sigh escaped hedgehog behind her, soon followed by the second soft pillow flip of the night. Despite the modicum of amusement she got from this whole ordeal, maintaining her current sleeping façade felt cruel. He had been so delicate in all his shifts, clearly concerned for her sleep more than his overheating. The past month had been busy, she’d been making public appearances and spent hours in meetings daily, and he’d clearly picked up on that. His concern had been palpable in recent evenings and it’d manifested in a handful of ways. Finding that dinner would be ready just as work ended, the overly common offer of a back rub and his willingness to lounge with her in the evenings rather than go stargazing had made it all so very clear.

A yawn broke through her lips and, in its wake, she decided to speak, “You know, if you’re too hot, you don’t have to sleep here, Silver.”

“I-I’m sorry, have I kept you up?” He quickly apologised, panic plain in his tone.

“You’re so naïve,” She hummed, rolling over only to find that his back was still too her, “I can tell that you’re struggling; how could I possibly sleep with that being the case?”

“Sorry,” He glumly repeated, “It’s just too hot. I can’t sleep.”

“I could tell as much,” Blaze reiterated, growing a smirk.

“But I don’t want to leave either, it doesn’t feel right,” The hedgehog quickly continued, “If I can handle all we have up until now, I should be able to sleep through a little bit of heat.”

“You should, but I can’t imagine lying next to me is helping,” Her curiosity had been piqued by his later statement, “Actually, what is the difference between tonight and the future we shared? Surely if you could sleep there then here should be far easier.”

“Well, um,” He finally rolled over and Blaze had to hold back a snicker at the sight of him, “I’m not sure how to describe it,” The hedgehog’s quills half covered his face and the heat was plain on his cheeks, “The city was dry and hot but here it’s wet and hot. There’s a massive difference.”

“Lava ran through the streets. Even I could feel it,” She reached across, improving his vision with a single brush of her hand, “How can this possibly be worse?”

“It’s the sweat to be honest. I’m just not used to sweating like this, I’m not even doing anything. In the future I was always exhausted to and that made sleep come easily, I’ve not come remotely close to battling monsters today,” That was true, any moment of true peace in their prior life had quickly led to sleep, “Sweating helped in the city, but it just doesn’t here. I’m soaking and it’s keeping me wide awake.”

“I know I’m not helping with that,” She watched him frown at her claim and felt herself swallow. Despite how pessimistic she could be about her abilities; the time traveller was always positive. That was why he hadn’t left, it made total sense and so completely suited him. That was what this was about, nothing else. It was such an unabashedly naïve mentality, and foolishly blunt, but so purely him, “Silver…”

“I’m not leaving you. I know there are guest rooms but that’s not the point,” He grumbled, flipping onto his back to stare at the ceiling, “I just have to get used to it, that’s all.”

With that shift, his quills had gotten even messier. Beneath the frustration at his physical situation, it was clear to Blaze the he was mentally toiling too. The hedgehog cared so very openly, so wholeheartedly, that she couldn’t help but grin, despite how silly he was being. She’d fallen in love with him for a variety of reasons, not the least of them being how staunchly he’d advocate for her birth right of flames. Even when she’d tried to smother them, even when she’d rather forget them, he’d always been so positive about them. That same positivity had led to prior situations similar to this, whether she’d accidentally burnt a meal or the hedgehog himself, he’d never speak badly of her power.

Despite knowing the discomfort it might bring, tender as she could be, Blaze scooted across the bedsheets to lie closer to him. Her hand breached the bedsheets and fingertips arrived to pace through his chest fur, finding it more unkempt than usual. Even though the moon was far from shining through the balcony doors, the princess could see her partner almost perfectly in the teal glow of his cyan palms. Everything from his sun kissed muzzle to the length of his nose to the furrow of his brow as he attempted to ignore the embarrassment born both from his foolishness and her new position.

That look prompted her to move even closer. Through the dark, her lips found his cheek and softly pressed against it. Even if she couldn’t sense it through the air, Blaze could feel his warmth on her lips. He was sweaty too but, compared to lip-lock following a spar or a serious battle, the hedgehog was frankly sweet. Still, that confirmation made her all the more interesting in what he was feeling.

“What’s does it feel like?” She pried.

“W-Warm, gentle, soft…” He mumbled, his hand rising to rub his cheek, “Wonderful.”

Her once small grin caved inward, generating a blush and drew out her serious tone, “Not the kiss, temperature. Being hot or cold or somewhere in between, all at the whim of the weather, how does it feel?”

“Oh, um,” His embarrassment grew, even in the dark his redness was palpable. Atop his misunderstanding, Silver had clearly never considered how to explain what he was feeling, “It’s uncomfortable now but it’s nice a lot of the time. Catching a cold wind on a day like today is wonderful, feeling its rustle through my fur is refreshing like a good night’s sleep. On a chilly day I almost feel attracted to warmth, I bundle closer to you because it feels like I’ve escaped the cold and found safety,” He managed to say, “I don’t think I can explain it properly but when it’s too cold you want to be hot and when it’s too hot you want to be cold, you seek out what you don’t have. My fur is white so it helps reflect the sun but doesn’t help with heat like this.”

“I see,” She hummed, muting her prior outburst, “So weather can make things more difficult but causes perhaps otherwise simple things to bring you joy?”

“Yeah, cold things feel good on hot days, hot things feel good on cold days,” He succinctly put, his yellow eyes finally settling on her face, “Being with you on cold nights makes this more than worth it. I’d endure a hundred hot days for a single cold one with you.”

“You don’t have to, you can spend a hot night or two in another room and I’ll still be here in the winter,” She caught herself speaking too quickly again. Just as she’d embarrassed him, he’d managed to slip beyond her stoicism and take a firm grasp on her heartstrings, “You’re so naïve.”

“What’s it like for you? Can you even tell that tea is hot? Are cold drinks the same as warm ones for you?” He followed up.

“Oh, I can tell when a drink is ice cold and a meal is piping hot,” She quickly confirmed before falling prey to greater speculation, “Though, I suppose the difference may not be as pronounced as how you feel it. Perhaps my threshold for what’s acceptable greatly differs,” They were getting off topic, “Regardless, it takes an exceptional change in our surroundings for me to feel what you are now. To experience what you are, I’d have to sleep in an ice bath or by a lava river,” She gave it a thought, natural temperatures weren’t the sort she most often felt, “I feel hot more commonly than cold, but I suppose I don’t in the same way that you do. I can feel the heat that I create, be it literal fire or otherwise, but that’s never uncomfortable in the way you describe. I don’t seek out the cold when I’m alight, my temperature could keep rising and I’d be unphased. It’s not the same as natural heat, it’s just… hot.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Silver admitted, “I guess we’re describing alien experiences to each other.”

It was true but, after twiddling with his chest fur for a moment longer, she managed to think things out just a little more clearly, “My flames are part of me so, while I feel their heat, it doesn’t affect me. I suppose they also allow me to ignore more mundane forms of heat, up to a certain point.”

“Oh, okay. It’s like your just more insulated because you’re already used to a certain kind of heat?” The hedgehog hummed.

“I suppose so,” She answered, but her mind had begun to drift.

Beyond the hedgehog’s shoulder was her alarm clock, only just lit enough that she could make out its face. It was quarter past one, they’d already breached the next day. She was tired, that much was undeniable, but exhaustion wasn’t enough to dissuade her. The feline hadn’t worked much today, she’d been in and out of meetings but neither had sparred nor trained. Well, it wasn’t as though he could sleep, why not take advantage?

Blaze sat up in bed, allowing the covers to tumble loose. With a yawn, she brushed back her hair with her fingers and cast a glance down her frame. Black spat shorts and a loose white tank top were hardly the ideal garb for this plan but, with the addition of a nearby dressing gown and a set of slippers, she supposed they would suffice. Silver was staring at him, confusion in his glowing eyes.

“Seeing as you refuse to leave my side, and that you’re never going to sleep at this rate, we’re going out,” The feline slipped off of the edge of the bed and into a set of soft black slippers, “Let’s go where the air is cool.”

“What, now? Where?” His surprise fell on deaf ears as she wrapped herself up in a black dressing gown with baggy sleeves and a length that stretched well beyond her knee. It was his of course but he hardly needed it, even in Winter, so she’d found herself donning it more and more often.

The princess paced away from the bed, throwing a glance through the balcony door. It was a dark and cloudy night, hardly the sort for stargazing. Well, hardly the sort the regular people would spend stargazing. There was a place that they could always go, where the air would be cooler and the sky would be clear.

She glanced back only to find that Silver had stumbled out of bed, his quills cursed with pre-emptive bedhead. Not only were his front quills bedraggled but the pack pair had fanned out as a result of him lying on his back, giving the appearance that he had wings. He had managed to shuffle into his own pair of slippers, a fluffy grey set, but wore no garb beside them. The moment that he was within reach, she snatched up his hand and led him onto the outdoor landing.

The air was still, and the night bordered on being silent, as she cast her gaze across the dark garden bellow. Though his presence would light the area, she doubted he’d find much in the way of coolness down there. They had to go higher. Casually, Blaze released his hand but snuck her arm up his shoulder.

The hedgehog looked so confused, she leaned into him, “Let’s go visit the stars.”

He finally understood. Without another moment of hesitation, cyan energy began to coreless around the pyrokinetic. Blaze felt herself lighten before she slipped briefly into the air. He caught her legs, carrying her in an almost bridal style. The energy ebbed from him, flowing to encase his frame. His quills straightened and fluffed up as all that was white became teal. Gingerly, the hedgehog took a floating step to land on the balcony wall.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Blaze?” As he questioned, she moved in, “It is pretty la-

Her lips found his, cutting him off before he began to overthink this, “If it’ll help you cool off and sleep well then of course I do,” The hedgehog was blushing, she could see it through his aura, “Besides, we haven’t seen the stars tonight.”

That was enough to convince him to kick off and into the air. They glided slowly upward, and Blaze felt the wind part her fur. Though his frame was encased in psychic energy, she could see the slight drag of his flight rustling through his quills.

While she had once feared heights, reuniting with her partner had inspired a sort of enjoyment of them. She’d still been tense about them at first but, as had been the case in that other timeline, traveling with him had eased her fear. Once she could barely stand on her balcony, now she could happily sit amongst the clouds. Being with him made it easier of course, but she could still manage more now than she ever could before.

Seeing the sky on nights like this had helped with that growth too. Above them the cosmos stretched out endlessly, encompassing more than either time traveller could surely comprehend. Southern Island didn’t have much in the way of light pollution so the greater universe was usually clear to see but, with the clouds blocking out all evidence of civilisation, the sky was perfect. Even the stretching spiral arms of galaxies were totally visible. It was the kind of sky that most would only see once in a lifetime, yet it was so casually at her fingertips.

It was only in these rare moments that the true colouration of the universe became clear to her. The sky wasn’t just some black canvas with white speckles dotted across it, the universe was endlessly colourful. The emptiness was a deep dark blue but, no point in the sky was truly empty. The blueness was born from the light of a billion stars stretching out in endless directions, coming in all shapes and at all manner of distance. Some had more of a purple sheen to them, others a much purer white. Regardless, the moon’s presence, amongst yet separate from the rest of the cosmos, was that of a waxing crescent, only a night away from entirely vanishing.

“Is it better up here?” She asked, finally breaking her gaze from the sky.

“The wind is nice, the view is too,” He practically purred, “But just being here with you is nicer.”

Blaze rolled her eyes, “I want to know if this is helping Silver, first and foremost.”

“It is, it’s a lot more comfortable,” He more truthfully answered, “I’m not sure how long I can keep flying though. We’re not at risk of falling or anything, it’s just pretty late; I’m just tired.”

“Then let’s use this opportunity to tire you out properly,” She suggested, “The longer we stay up here, the less energy you’ll have to fight off sleep.”

She could tell that all he’d said was true by his body language alone. While the hedgehog’s usual serious gaze had been replaced with a far dopier one, all stiffness had faded from his shoulders and a small grin refused to leave his muzzle. Being up here really was helping.

Gently, but with intent, she pushed against his chest and felt him shift in the air. In a matter of moments he went from floating upright to lying on his back, almost settled atop a bed of clouds. He’d have fit in with them if it weren’t for the glowing energy that surrounded his being.

He looked perplexed as she stared down at him, “I thought you wanted to watch the stars?”

“The brightest star in the sky is right in front of me,” She countered, easing herself to lay more comfortably.

Her legs straddled his waist as she laid chest to chest with him, crossing her arms and setting her chin upon them. He didn’t seem to know where to stare, at her or the stars above, and her flustering comment likely hadn’t aided in that debate. He’d compared her to a star so often but, truth be told, he was far more like one than her. The hedgehog would take to the air so casually, it was almost as though he belonged up here with the night sky. While she had shunned her flames for so long, he’d glittered and shone for as long as she’d known him.

“You’re very light,” He mumbled, finally settling to look at her.

“Silver, you can lift buildings with the wave of your hand. Your understanding of light and heavy isn’t normal,” She casually parried.

“But I don’t have to use my powers to lift you,” He sleepily babbled, yawning partway through, “I remember when you were taller than me, that didn’t stop me either…”

Blaze cast her mind back, considering the time he was talking about. From when they’d first met until their early teenage years, the difference between their heights had been negligible. She assumed there here had been periods where she’d overtaken him, but he surely wasn’t thinking about one of those. He was thinking about the last time she’d been taller than him. When they were twelve, bordering on thirteen, she’d endured a growth spurt and ended up a good few inches taller than him. She’d rather taken pride in the change, using it as leverage to insist on doing a great share of their work, but it hadn’t lasted for long. By the time they’d turned fourteen he had taken the lead again, a position he’d hold for the rest of their lives, regardless of the heels she wore. That didn’t mean she’d given back control, of course.

“For less than a year, yes, I was,” She smiled, “We were neck and neck for a while. I rather liked being taller than you.”

“Sorry,” He grinned back, “I should have tried to stay short.”

“Some things just can’t be forgiven,” She yawned, feeling the weight of the hour on her shoulders, “You’ll have to find some other way to make it up to me.”

“Like what?” He asked, clearly not entirely oblivious.

Gently yet casually, she slipped forward and allowed her lips to mingle with his again. Fingers began to ply through windswept fur, she felt her tail coil around his back and heard a deep purr begin to ebb from his throat. She gingerly took his muzzle in her hand before not so softly pushing his cheek to deepen their lip-lock. The hedgehog wasn’t a bad kisser but, truth be told, he still seemed to lose himself in the occurrences’ bliss. More often than not, she found herself taking the lead in these situations and this was no different. When they finally parted, beaming like a fool the hedgehog’s eyes didn’t reopen.

“You’ll think of something,” She told him, keeping a hand on his cheek.

It was only with those words that Blaze noticed a change in their surroundings. All of a sudden his body was melding with the clouds, they had begun a slow and very controlled descent. When she was small, she’d have panicked at this; she’d have insisted on knowing what he was doing rather than knowing it inherently. At their age, having known him for this long, she could read him like a book. Now that he’d cooled down, the psychic had realised just how tired he was.

They vanished into the clouds and, now unable to see him, she could feel it. While his tail had been lightly wagging before, it’d now slowed almost to a standstill. His cheeks were plush in her hand, not resisting her touch on even a subconscious level, and his movements were heavy. The thump of his heart, barely audible over the buzzing of his aura, was peacefully rhythmic, he was entirely calm, so very comfortable with her atop him. Perhaps her heat truly wasn’t the problem.

As they exited through the cloud layer, Blaze was able to look upon his muzzle once again. His eyes had remained closed and relaxation had overtaken the smile on his face. The castle drifted back into view behind them and, without so much of a glance from the hedgehog, they lowered to perfectly levitate through the balcony doors. In a matter of moments, he glid down to arrive on their thoroughly messy bed.

Did he fall asleep the moment his head met with his pillow? Her rational side doubted it but, watching his frame ease into the mattress made her want to believe so. It’d surely be a fitful sleep, he’d probably wake up early or drift in and out of consciousness. Still, as long as she’d helped him get the slightest grace of sleep, she was happy with her efforts.

With a yawn and a stretch, she took a more comfortable position curled up against his frame before soon joining him in the land of the dreaming.

#silvaze #Silver the Hedgehog #Blaze the Cat #sonic the hedgehog #sonic 30th #sonic

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch61: Part Of The Journey Is The End.

Intro: Steve embarks on his final mission as Captain America, and as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end…

Warnings: “Language!” Smut (NSFW) no under 18s.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So here it is, the last chapter before the epilogue. I rewrote a chunk of this too, but nothing has changed in the overall timeline. Thank you to all of you who have read and invested in this story, Katie means a hell of a lot to me. But don’t fear, their story isn’t quite over. And we’ll check in with the Rogers family as they grow over the years.

@angrybirdcr thank you for coming on this ride with me!!!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 60

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Are you out of your goddamned mind?” Bucky looked at Steve, not quite able to process what he had said. “You’re gonna pull a stupid ass stunt like that, and you’re not even gonna tell your wife?”

“Buck…” “You know, you’ve always been a dumbass ass Steve but this,” Bucky turned round shaking his head before he spun back, pointing his finger at his friend, “this is something else. She’s fuckin’ pregnant! You already have kids!” “What, you think I don’t know that?” Steve blazed at him. “I’m doing it because of that, because losing her, I can’t do it Buck, I just can’t.” “Then why are you not telling her?” Bucky shook his head at him. “If you actually believe that it will mean less heartache in the long run, tell her.” “I can’t.” Steve shook his head. “She’d try to stop me and…” “Damned straight she would because it’s a fucking stupid idea!”

Steve shook his head. “This is my chance, a chance to be who I’m meant to be, who I want to be, and I can’t let it pass me by.”

Bucky looked at him. Steve’s face was set, he knew that look well. There was no talking the stubborn little punk out of this. He simply shook his head and looked down at the ground. “I want no part of this.”

“Bucky…” “I mean it Steve.” Buck looked at him. “What you’re planning on doing is one thing but to not tell your dame?” He shook his head again. “She has a right to know. She deserves that at least.” With a final look over his shoulder Bucky turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair, before heading down the hall.

“Bucky?” Katie frowned as she saw the look on his face. She’d heard his and Steve’s raised voices but hadn’t caught much of the conversation, but from the looks of it they’d had a pretty big argument. “You ok?”

“Yeah, just, he told me about his plans.” Bucky said, “For the shield.” He recovered quickly, which wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, and you don’t agree?” She asked, almost curiously.

“Yeah, I do I just,” he shook his head, “I need to take a walk, this is a bit much you know.”

She nodded and smiled. “I know how you feel, wanna take Lucky?” she asked, smiling. Bucky had a fondness for the dog which he tried to hide, but failed miserably. Bucky’s mouth curled up at one side and he nodded.

“Yeah I can take him, only as a favour, you know, so that you and that punk don’t have to.”

Katie grinned and unhooked the leash from the coat-peg by the door. Wordlessly Bucky took it, clipped it onto the dog’s collar and headed out of the door.

He headed down the drive and onto the quiet road, not quite sure where he was going, not that it mattered. He just needed to calm down. The conversation had started off pretty positively. Steve explained that he was retiring, handing down the shield and Bucky had braced himself for the question. He didn’t want the shield. If he was needed, he would fight, like a good soldier, but he didn’t want to. So when Steve explained that he was passing it to Sam after talking it over with Katie, Bucky had let out a huge breath of relief.

“Seems my girl was right.” Steve smiled as Bucky looked at him. “You don’t want it.”

“I’ve had enough Steve.” Bucky sighed. “I mean, I’d take it if I had to but…”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Buck.” Steve said, hand on his shoulder giving it a squeeze, “not anymore.” Bucky smiled and looked down at his feet, his eyes misting over. He hastily blinked back the tears and then looked back at his friend, lip curling into a smirk. “You gonna give Seagull half a shield?”

“No.” Steve bit his lip “I have a, a plan, some way to get another one. But it means I’ll be going back. Back and staying.” Then the stupid prick had explained his plan and Bucky had gotten mad. He had everything he ever dreamed of right in front of him. A gorgeous wife, two kids and another on the way, a comfortable life, stability, a home, and now he was about to leave it all. And Bucky was fuming because he knew, that once again, he’d be picking up the pieces and mopping up after Steven dumbass Rogers.

****

Back at home Steve was sat at the kitchen table, head in his hands, running over the conversation in his head. He could count on one hand the amount of times he and Bucky had fought like that, and he didn’t like it. Part of him wished he hadn’t told him but he had to, he had to make him understand why he was doing what he was doing, so that at least someone knew and could explain when and if needed. Steve hadn’t expected him to react favourably but not to the extent he had done. And the thing was, Steve knew he was right. Katie had a right to know, but he couldn’t tell her and watch her beg him not to do it. He could never say no to her. “What’s up with Bucky?” Katie asked as she walked into the kitchen. Steve looked up, hands sliding down his face and gave her a soft smile.

“I just told him about the shield and my plans to take the stones back.” “You’re taking the stones?” She asked quietly, sitting next to him.

He nodded.

“Why?” Steve sighed. “In all honesty, Doll, I can’t explain. I just feel like this is something I need to do, to close the end on the loop maybe. One last mission.”

She looked down at the table, taking a deep breath, her hand falling to her stomach. She had known deep down this was coming.

“When?”

“As soon as Bruce has the machine running. He said yesterday it wouldn’t take too long, but, I’m not sure.”

She didn’t reply, instead she looked down at her hands which were resting on her stomach.

“It’ll be okay.” Steve said to her softly, tipping her face up to look at him. “It’ll all work out.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not scared.” She whispered, looking up at him, green eyes full of tears. “I can’t lose you, Steve.”

“I promise it’ll be okay.” He assured her again as he reached out and gave her a hug, laying his cheek against the crown of her head, closing his eyes and just relishing her warmth and closeness.

**** The tension between Steve and Bucky continued for two weeks. It was palpable and noticeable to everyone in the house, bar Jamie that is as at least they tried to avoid sniping and bitching at each other in his presence.

“What the fuck did they argue about?” Sam whispered to Katie at lunch on the fifteenth day of their feud, watching as the two men were moving stiffly round one another in the kitchen. “Surely he can’t be that pissed Steve’s intending on taking the stone’s back.” “I dunno.” Katie shrugged, taking a deep breath. “But I can’t keep going like this, it’s driving me insane.” “Do we need to stage an intervention?” Sam quipped, watching as Bucky moved to pour himself some coffee, Steve backing out of the way, not looking at him. “Or maybe they just need to have a fight, get it out of their system.” Katie cocked her head to one side and eyed up the two men. She wasn’t blind, and whilst she found Steve utterly and ridiculously attractive, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t think Bucky was handsome as well, not to mention his physique. Steve was bigger and broader than Bucky who was an inch or so shorter and a little more wiry but that was hardly surprising. Steve was built for fighting, for force, for war…Bucky on the other hand was built for agility and speed, for being an assassin who could operate in the shadows, but he was no less of a match for Steve, in fact he was the only man she’d ever seen hold his own against her husband in a toe to toe fight. As she watched Steve reach into the cupboard for some bread, his jaw was clenching slightly, his cheek twitching from the angry nerve and she suddenly felt the heat pooling between her legs.

Fucking hormones.

“You know, I think that’s a great idea.” She grinned, turning to Sam. “Naked mud fighting, winner takes all, including me.” Sam spluttered out his coke, choking slightly before he threw his head back in a roar of laughter. The two super soldiers paused what they were doing and turned to face the pair of them. Katie was sat in a seat, grinning as she sipped her glass of apple juice whilst Sam was struggling to regain his composure.

“What’s so funny?” Bucky demanded.

“You two acting like a pair of school kids who have fallen out over who gets the first slice of pie.” Katie looked at him then to Steve. “Grow up.” “Me grow up?” Steve looked at her, frowning

“Yes, Steven,” her face now stern as she glared at the pair of them, “I don’t give a shit what you’ve been arguing about, and I don’t even want to know, but this stops, right now otherwise you’re gonna get the full brunt of one of my tantrums. And I’m pregnant and hormonal so it ain’t gonna be pretty.” Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at the look of utter horror on Steve’s face. To be fair he’d only experienced her temper once when she had forced him and Sam to share a room in Germany. And he had to admit she’d been pretty scary. He rolled his eyes and looked at his friend, taking a deep breath.

“I still think you’re being a dumbass.” He sighed softly “But what else is new huh? Least I ain’t having to punch Tommy Leipschitz this time. Jesus he was a big son of a bitch.” “That was one time.” Steve groaned, “And I told you, I…” “Had him on the ropes.” Katie and Bucky said at the same time as Steve let out a groan and hung his head.

Katie watched as the two men exchanged a look before she glanced at her watch, giving a start “Stevie we need to go, we’ll be late for Dr Kellet…” she stood up. “Oh, shit, yeah…” he nodded, draining his mug.

Katie headed off to get her jacket and he clapped Bucky on the shoulder as his friend gave him a questioning look. “Twelve week scan.” Bucky nodded, his lips clamped together. He wanted to ask the stupid bastard how he was continuing to act so normal, as if he wasn’t planning on doing something utterly ridiculous, but he bit it down. It wasn’t worth stressing Katie out. Plus, despite himself, he loved the guy like a brother. If this was what he truly wanted to do, no matter who stupid it was, then…

“Make sure you bring back a copy of the photo.” Sam smiled as he walked past “Uncle Sammy wants to see his future godson or daughter.”

Steve smiled, they’d not discussed the roles of godparents in any detail with anyone but each other. They’d already decided though, Katie wanted Jennifer, Brooke’s mom, to be one as the two were very close, and it was a given Sam and Bucky would get the roles of godparents too. But as he thought, he had an idea.

“Honey,” he said, following her, “hey, I’ve just had a thought…” “Did it hurt?” she teased as he opened the door for her. He rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t we ask Jennifer and Brooke over tonight? I thought maybe we could ask them all to be godparents.”

She smiled. “You trying to get round Bucky?”

“No.” he shook his head, honestly. “Just thought it would be nice.” He opened the car door for her and she smiled and leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek.

“I think it’s a great idea. We can drop by the coffee shop on the way home.”

**** “Well, everything seems absolutely fine.” Dr Kellet beamed and Katie let out the breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding. “Nothing to worry about, baby is growing exactly how he or she should.”

Katie turned to Steve who gave her a smile as he gently pressed a kiss to her hand where it was held in his.

“Can you tell what it is yet?” Katie looked at Dr Kellet and the woman gave a little frown.

“Well, if you believe the nub theory I can, but there’s no scientific proof behind it so I wouldn’t like to say.”

“The nub theory?” Steve frowned.

“Yes, some people believe that you can predict the sex based on the angle of the genital tube.” Dr Kellet says. “Also known as the angle of the dangle.”

At that Katie gave a snort and Steve let out a low sigh, shaking his head at her childishness.

“There are some theories, that before the genitals are formed there’s a bump or nub called the genital tubercle.” The Doctor pointed to the relevant point on the screen. “So, here, you can see it’s lying flat so some would believe that means it’s a girl, but honestly, it’s way too early to tell. You’re just gonna have to wait till the twenty week mark to be sure.”

“So no rushing out and buying a load of pink baby things?” Katie looked at her and the woman shook her head.

“I wouldn’t. Sometimes the theory is right, sometimes it’s wrong, so it really is just guess work.” The woman leaned over and wiped the ultrasound jelly off Katie’s stomach before she discarded the paper towel into the waste and smiled. “I’ll get you a copy of the scan photo and then I’ll see you in about eight weeks.”

Scan photo safely in Katie’s purse they headed out of the hospital, hand in hand, Steve opening the car door for his wife before he headed round to the driver’s side, setting off into the summer sun.

“You know, if it is a girl, then I want to name her after Natasha.” Katie spoke softly, looking out of the car window before she turned to Steve. He stole a glance at her, smiling.

“Yeah?”

“One of her names anyway.” Her hand rest on her stomach. “Don’t suppose you have any thoughts?” “Well, we kinda used our quote of boy’s names on Jamie.” He took a deep breath, “Although I do like the name Henry.”

“Henry.” Katie chewed the name over, smiling. “Yeah, that’s cute. And for a girl?”

“If it’s a girl then I’d like to name her after my mom.”

“Sarah Natasha?” Katie asked, smiling softly, but Steve shook his head as he stopped at the lights.

“No.” He turned to face her. “I know this sounds stupid but, well, Sarah Rogers, it was her name and I’m not sure I want there to be another one, you know, and there’s nothing we can really shorten Sarah to either so…”

Katie smiled and lay her hand on his knee. “Okay, so we got Sarah Natasha as middle names for a girl and Henry as a potential for a boy…”

“Well, it’s a start I suppose, more than we had with Jamie.” Steve smiled.

“More than you had with Jamie.” She looked at him. “I knew from the start I wanted the name James.”

Steve took a deep breath, before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love you, you know that right?” His hand gently strayed to her belly. “All of you.” “Of course I do.” She frowned a little. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just wanted to tell you.” He gave her a smile before he set off again down the street.

It wasn’t long before they reached Jennifer’s shop and they walked in, the woman beaming as she saw them. They took a seat and it wasn’t long before she walked over with their usual order, and Katie handed her the scan photo.

“Oh my god look!” Jennifer gushed. Katie smiled at Steve who leaned back sipping his coffee, simply watching before his phone started to ring. Excusing himself he stood up.

“Bruce?”

“It’s ready.” The man stated simply “The tunnel.” “Already?” Steve gulped. Despite the fact it had already taken slightly longer than predicted, it was still too soon. He wasn’t ready to leave, it wasn’t enough time.

“Yeah.” Bruce replied, “But there’s no rush, I mean another few days won’t hurt.” “No.” Steve shook his head, glancing over at Katie who was still talking to Jennifer, the two women laughing and giggling, now joined by Emmy and Brooke who had turned up after school. “Let’s get it over with. Tomorrow morning?”

“Alright, let me know what time and I’ll meet you at the compound. Well, what’s left of it that is. We can set up on the hill.”

“Sure, see you then.” Steve replied. Biting his lip he placed his phone back into his pocket and made his way back to the table.

“Everything ok?” Katie asked.

“Yeah, just Bruce.” He said, giving her a look. She took a deep breath and nodded, understanding.

“Listen,” she turned her attention back to Jennifer as Brooke took the scan photo from Emmy and grinned. “Why don’t you come for dinner tonight? You can meet Sam and Bucky, properly I mean.”

“Erm,” Jennifer looked at Brooke “You got any plans?” “None that can’t be cancelled for Mrs R’s cooking!” Brooke grinned and Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“I swear to God that’s all I get every time you feed her.” she said and Katie grinned.

“Bring your dad too if you like?” Katie smiled. Brooke’s grandfather, a slight man called John, had been one of the Vanished that had returned.

“Oh he’s on a date.” Jennifer grinned. “Some woman he met at one of the support groups Steve has been running for the returned.”

“See mom, even Grand-poppy is dating.” Brooke looked at Jennifer, raising her eyebrows. “You need to get yourself out there.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” Katie looked at Steve as Jennifer groaned at Brooke. He was in his own world.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He fixed what he hoped was a believable smile on his face before he looked at his watch. “We best get going, pick Jamie up from nursery.”

**** Katie knew Steve was lying. She could read him like a book, after all those years of being together it wasn’t hard for her to spot when something was bothering him. And later that evening he finally gave in and told her, Bucky and Sam about Bruce’s call and the fact the tunnel was ready for him to take the stones back.

And that he was going to do that sooner rather than later. Much sooner.

“Tomorrow?” Katie looked down, her eyes misting over.

Steve nodded and reached out for his wife’s hand over the table. “I want to get it over and done with.”

Taking a deep breath she looked up at him, her head reeling. “I know but I thought we’d have more time, to prepare. I mean-“

“Don’t, Sweetheart.” Steve sighed. “This is the reason I didn’t tell you sooner, because it would just make you worry.” “Oh, well, now I’m not worried at all.” She replied, sarcastically, folding her arms.

Before Steve could say anything else, the security alarm sounded telling them someone was at the gate.

“I’ll go.” Bucky stood up as Katie pressed the button on her phone to open the entrance to the drive taking the opportunity to escape, the conversation was taking a turn and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his mouth shut.

“Hey Mr Barnes!” Brooke smiled as he opened the door.

“It’s Bucky, kid.” He gruffed. “How many times do I gotta tell ya. Mr Barnes was my dad.”

“Whatever.” She passed him and Jennifer sighed.

“Sorry, she’s,” she shook her head laughing, “actually I don’t know what she is.”

But Bucky wasn’t listening, he was too busy taking in the red-head in front of him. He’d never met the woman before, granted he’d seen her in a photo that Katie had in the smaller den, one of the pair of them on a night out but, well, it didn’t do her justice. Her hair was set in loose curls, her eyes were a vivid green and her smile lit up her face. He coughed a little and shook himself out of his stupor and smiled, stepping back.

“I’m Jennifer.” She offered,

“Yeah, I know, I mean, ” he scratched his head, “Katie’s spoken about you. All good things, of course.” he added.

She gave him a small quirk of her lips and stepped past him as he closed the door. Mentally telling himself to get a grip, Bucky followed her into the kitchen.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Steve pleaded as Sam stood up and headed to the fridge after shooting Steve one more glance which made it clear he thought he was an idiot.

Katie simply shook her head. “You know what, there’s no point arguing with you so whatever.” She stood up, wiping at her tears. She had so much she wanted to say, to tell him he was an idiot, but she didn’t have the energy. He would do it anyway, and she’d be stood there for those horrible moments he was gone wondering if he was going to make it back, or if she’d lose someone else.

“Hi!” Jennifer’s smile faltering as she noticed Katie wipe her eyes “You okay?”

“Hormones…” Katie waved her hands dismissively as Bucky shot Steve another glare. He returned it with one of his own, shaking his head as Katie introduced Jennifer to Sam and set about making sure everyone was comfortable, playing the expert hostess.

Somehow she made it through dinner although she had no idea how. She had no alternative, she didn’t want Emmy or Jamie to pick up on the fact something was wrong. As planned, they’d asked the Sam, Bucky and Jennifer to be god parents and they’d all accepted, happily. The food was good, the conversation was happy and filled with laughter at times but when the guests had gone and Jamie was in bed and the dishes were cleared away, Katie excused herself and headed upstairs for a shower.

“Is mom okay?” Emmy watched her leave. Bucky gave a snort.

“She’s just tired.” Steve ignored him. “It’s been a long day. Look, I’m gonna call it a night. Don’t stay up too late, another hour tops. You have school in the morning.” “Okay, Dad.”

He dropped a kiss to her head. “Love you.” His breath caught in his throat before he headed upstairs. He made his way into Jamie’s room, tucking the covers up around his son’s chin and simply looked at him. There, for the first time ever he could see what Katie meant when she said he looked like him. The sudden realisation made the tears spring into Steve’s eyes which he hastily wipe. He dropped a kiss to Jamie’s soft blonde hair.

“Love you, son.” And with that he headed into their bedroom.

Katie was already in bed, the lights off. He stripped off his clothes and settled in behind her, his hands wrapping around her from behind.

“Baby, please, don’t be mad.” He said softly, his hand laying over her stomach as he kissed her neck.

She turned to look at him, tears trickling down her cheek. “I’m not mad Steve, I’m fucking petrified that I’m gonna lose you too.” “It’ll work out.” Steve replied, weakly, unable to think of anything else he could utter.

“You keep saying that, but how do you know?”

Steve stayed silent, wiping her tears with his thumbs before, with a surge, she leaned forward and kissed him, her hands reaching up to tangle in his hair and he gave a soft moan, relishing her touch, knowing full well she was trying to distract herself. And he was more than happy to oblige.

She rolled over onto her back, his hand straying up the side of the t-shirt she was wearing, fingers squeezing at her hips, the hips he could draw from memory.

“You best come back to me.” She whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

“Doll,” Steve choked out, shaking his head, his words dying in his throat as he kissed her furiously once more and she moaned softly into his mouth as her hands moved down his back, nails scratching slightly on his skin. They broke apart long enough for him to remove her shirt and his mouth trailed down her jaw to her neck, across her collar bone as he took his time, his affections continuing all over her body, committing every god damned line, curve, blemish and scar further into his memory.

When neither of them could take it anymore, he rolled over, bringing her with him, straddling him. She locked eyes with him and moved, her hand giving him a few strokes before she sank down, taking him in, both letting out a groan. Steve held her hips as she moved, finding her rhythm as she worked him, her head tipping back as she moved slowly. He wanted to see her, be face to face, so he sat up, drawing a soft cry from her lips at the change of angle. His hands moved from her hips, to her ass, then to her back as his mouth gently moved to her neck, hitting that spot he knew so well, then down to her breasts, nipping and sucking at them each in turn.

“Stevie,” she muttered, a soft, low keen of his name and he groaned a little louder. His name, the name she used, said in such away, it almost broke his heart when he thought about what he was about to do.

“Look at me,” he stammered gently, his nose nudging hers and her green eyes locked onto his, “I love you, Doll, so much.” “I love you too.” She stuttered, before her mouth fell open in that exquisite way it did and she let out a soft whimper as she came, tightening around him, collapsing forward, her head burying into the crook of his shoulder and neck. He wasn’t far behind, a few more thrusts upwards and the fireworks in his stomach exploded as he released inside her with a groan.

They stayed still, gathering their breath as he cradled her close, trying to stop the tears that were now threatening to pour down his face as for the first time since he had made his decision, he started to doubt whether or not he was strong enough to go through with it. *****

Late the next morning, up on the hill by the ruins of the compound the small group gathered around the Quantum Tunnel. Steve, clad in his uniform, checked the stones were all in the case, as Bruce calibrated the controls and spoke to him.

“Now, remember, you have to return the stones to the exact moment we got them. Or you’re gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities.”

“Don’t worry, Bruce. Clip all the branches.” Steve nodded, closing the case.

“You know, I tried. When I had the gauntlet, the stones, I really tried to bring her back” Bruce sighed softly, looking at Steve. “I miss them, man.”

“We all do.” Katie swallowed, watching the pair of them as Steve gave Bruce a small smile.

“You know, if you want, I can come with you.” Sam tried again as Steve walked towards the tunnel.

“You’re a good man, Sam.” Steve smiled at him, sincerely. “This one’s on me, though.”

He took a deep breath and walked over to Bucky, who was watching him.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘till I get back.” Steve quipped, and despite himself, Bucky looked away a smile playing on his face.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” He said back, quietly as he swallowed.

Steve stepped forward to give him a hug.

“You’re gonna miss us buddy.” Bucky said quietly and Steve stepped back, looking at his friend

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” He assured him with a nod. Then he turned to his wife who was stood watching. His gorgeous girl, her eyes shining as she stepped forward into his arms.

“I love you,” she whispered, her voice cracking, “come back or I’ll never forgive you.” Steve couldn’t speak, he simply couldn’t find the words. Instead, he kissed her, long, soft, the familiar feeling of her lips on his was both heaven and hell at the same time. Eventually he pulled away, gave her one last smile before he stepped up onto the platform, the Quantum Suit forming around him.

“How long is this gonna take?” Sam asked as Katie moved over to where Bucky was, the soldier gently placing his arm around her, giving her a squeeze.

“For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds.” Bruce said.

As long as he needs…the words echoed in Steve’s mind as he bent down with a shaky breath and picked up Mjolnir, the hammer having been bequeathed to him by Thor to return.

“Ready, Cap?”

Steve nodded again, although he was anything but. “Alright. We’ll meet you back here, okay?”

“You bet.” He nodded, and it wasn’t technically a lie. He stole a look at Katie one last time as the helmet formed around his head.

“Going quantum. Three, two, one.“

Steve closed his eyes as he disappeared into the Quantum portal.

Bucky felt Katie stiffen besides him and his arm tightened around her as Bruce tapped away at the keyboard again.

“And returning in, five, four, three, two, one– “

Katie watched with bated breath, but Steve didn’t reappear.

“Where is he?” She managed to breathe out, looking at Bruce, stepping forward slightly.

“I don’t know. He blew right by his time stamp. He should be here.” Bruce shook his head, his voice earnest.

Katie felt sick, the entire world around her swam and she looked down at her feet, the earth was spinning below them.

“Well, get him back.” Sam instructed as Katie began to reel.

“Something’s gone wrong. It had to have done.” She swallowed. “Bruce, fix it, please!”

“I’m trying. “Bruce replied, but as he tapped at the buttons something suddenly clicked in Katie’s mind and a horrible realisation crashed over her, sinking o the depth of her stomach like a brick. She spun to see Bucky was watching her, his face wracked with guilt as he turned away from the pad.

Absolutely nothing had gone wrong, quite the opposite in fact. This was Steve’s plan all along. He’d done this on purpose.

Sam’s demands at Bruce to bring Steve back, and the scientist protests that he was trying raged through the clearing but Katie wasn’t listening. Her eyes remained locked on Bucky’s as she stepped forward, grabbing his shoulder.

“You knew…” She looked at him, accusingly and Bucky swallowed, guilt wracking his system as he sighed, looking at his feet.

“I’m sorry, I tried to talk him out of it.” “He’s, he’s really gone back?” Katie whispered, her voice cracking.

Bucky took a deep breath and nodded.

“No he wouldn’t do that.” Katie shook her head, desperately. “Not to the kids…tell me he wouldn’t!” Her hands grasped at Bucky’s jacket, desperately, as she looked up at him, tears coursing down her cheeks. “Please…Bucky, tell me this-”

“Wait! I’m…we got something!”

Bruce’s voice cut loudly across Katie’s demands and both her and Bucky turned to see him punching a few more buttons on the console. Before their eyes, the machine whirred to life again, and a man suddenly appeared in the middle of the platform, the shield on his arm giving away his identity. Steve’s Quantum Suit peeled away to leave him stood in his blue, red and white and Katie instantly noticed his hair was longer than she had ever seen it, there were more lines on his handsome face, and he once more had a full beard. She let go of Bucky and turned to look at her husband for a moment, mouth hanging open in shock, tears still falling as he gave her a small and weary, yet relieved smile.

“Hey, Doll.” Katie couldn’t breathe. Shakily, she turned and walked up the steps onto the platform and simply stared at him through her tears. His eyes were full of their own, unshed, as his shaking hands fell to her waist and he took a quivering breath. “I missed you.” Steve’s voice trembled as his eyes roved her face. “How…how long?” She managed to stutter out, reaching up to cup his cheek with an unsteady hand. “Fifteen.” He swallowed. “Fifteen months?” Katie gasped “No, Doll. Years.” At that Katie’s teary eyes widened further. “I don’t…what? Fifteen years?” “It’s been hell without you.” Steve’s voice cracked, the tears now falling from his eyes and then he couldn’t stand it any longer. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her, deeply before a soft sob from him made her pull away. “I don’t understand?” She sniffed, her head pressing to his. “Why?” “At Tony’s funeral I saw Pepper and it got me thinking about how much of her life she has left and,” he took a deep breath, “the thought of me being here, having to say goodbye to you thanks to this serum and then having another twenty years to go, it killed me.” “So you took the hit now?” Katie suddenly understood, her breathing deep, chest rising and falling deeply, as her trembling hands cupped his bearded jaw. He nodded. “I knew it would be easier knowing I had you to come back to. When I asked you to marry me, I said I wanted all my lasts to be with you.” Steve choked a little as his voice cracked, the words caught in his throat. “And I meant it. I wanna grow old with you, and now I can.” The last few words he spoke were swallowed up by his sobbing as he pressed his face into her hands which were still cupping his jaw, a tender, familiar touch, one he had been aching to feel for so fucking long. “We got the rest of our lives.” he managed to choke out between his convulsing gasps, as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Our forever.” “Stevie!” Her face crumpled as once more he pulled her to him, clutching her to his chest and he buried his face in her hair, both of them shaking as they clung to one another as if their lives depended on it.

And maybe, at that moment, it did.

“Ok, back the fuck up!” Bruce broke the moment. “Sorry to intrude but…”

Steve let out a soft chuckle and he turned to him, his arms still round Katie, shield still strapped to his left. “Sorry guys,” he reached up to wipe his eyes, “it’s been a while. Fifteen years to be exact.”

Sam frowned. “Fifteen years? So did something go wrong, or did something go right?” He crossed his arms.

“You stayed back to counter your slower ageing.” Bruce spoke, his mouth dropping open as Steve stepped down from the platform, hand round Katie’s.

“Well, as much of it as I could.” Steve nodded as Bruce let out a snort.

“And you knew about this?” Sam demanded, looking at Bucky.

Bucky shrugged.

“No wonder you wanted to go alone.” Sam shook his head, a small smile playing on his face. “Where did you go back to?”

“1955. Ten years after I went into the ice, thought it was enough time for me to be forgotten about.” Steve answered. “Plus, when I spoke to the Ancient One she advised that even though it was a parallel universe, it still wasn’t a good idea to be in a time where another version of Steve Rogers was walking about so…” “But how?” Bruce frowned. “She told me that every time we go back, it creates an alternate reality. How did you-“

“I kept the Time-Stone.” Steve answered. “She said it was foretold, and that as long as I did that, whether I took days, weeks, months or years I was still on the mission so to speak and that fifteen years would suffice. How she knew what I was thinking I’ve no idea but…”

“So you hid? For fifteen years?” Katie looked at him and he gave her a small smile.

“First rule of hiding, don’t hide.” He licked his lips. “I went to your dad.”

“What?” Katie frowned and Steve took a deep breath.

“Yeah, he couldn’t believe it at first, but I finally convinced him I wasn’t HYDRA or a trick of his imagination and well, he helped me with a new identity and I found a place to stay in Minnesota. I got a job and just stayed off the radar until the time came to take the Time-Stone back. Then, I went back to a second after I left Bleeker Street the first time, and the Ancient One merely smiled and said that what I wanted would now come to pass, so I gave her the stone and came back.”

“So, does this mean that all that time, Dad knew you were alive?”

“No, the timeline reset after I returned the stone. I don’t understand it fully either but The Ancient One told me not to worry about it, apparently somethings are beyond the comprehension of the normal mind.” He smiled as Bruce gave a little scoff as he scratched at his chin.

“Must have been a lonely fifteen years.” Steve sighed. “It was hard, yeah, especially knowing what I did and not being able to do anything to stop it for because even if I did it would simply be reset, but the worst bit was being away from the kids,” he turned to Katie, “and you…”

He was welling up again, and Katie shook her head. “You’re an idiot.” She spluttered out between her tears, as the magnitude of just what he had done hit her. He had sacrificed fifteen years of his life so that they could spend their forever together. Because he loved her that much.

It was crazy, it was almost unbelievable, but it was him all over. A self-sacrificing idiot. Her idiot. Her soldier. Her love.

“I see you brought something back.” Sam nodded to his shield.

“A gift from Howard, which reminds me.” Steve smiled releasing his wife and turning to Sam, pulling it from his arm. “Try it on.”

Sam frowned and looked over to Bucky who nodded, then Katie who smiled and laced her fingers through Steve’s. With a shaky hand, Sam slipped his arm through the straps.

“How does it feel?” Steve watched him, as he moved his arm up and down, feeling the weight of the Vibranium.

“Like it’s someone else’s.” Sam quipped, looking at him

“It isn’t.” Steve insisted. Sam looked down again, taking a deep breath. When he looked back up, Katie could see he was trying to hold back his tears.

“Thank you.” he said, softly “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s why it’s yours.” Steve smiled as he stepped forward and shook Sam’s hand, the most significant handshake he had ever given. The passing of a mantle.

“Just so you know, birdbrain.” Bucky drawled almost lazily. “I’m not calling you Captain.”

*****

Steve’s reunion with the kids had been emotional. They’d explained to Emmy what he had done, and she’d hit him hard across the face and called him an idiot before she’d melted into his arms, crying. Jamie, however, well, they’d just told him Avengers stuff had made him grow a beard, and the innocence of youth meant he simply accepted it and stated he couldn’t wait until he was older so he could be an Avenger. A thought which scared the shit out of his parents.

It felt odd, but yet not, to Steve, finally being back with his family. It had been a hard fifteen years but he’d simply focussed on why he was doing it, and thrown himself into his life as ‘Steven O’Rourke’ working as an Art Teacher, departing to give back the time-stone the day before he knew his younger self would arrive back in 1970 to get the tesseract, knowing that everything on the timeline would simply span out the way it should.

Now, he was aching for his wife. Emotionally, it had been hell, and physical, well, fifteen years of jerking off had been, frankly, shit in comparison and their reunion didn’t disappoint. Not sure how long he was going to last, he’d made her come once with his fingers, once with his mouth and now, as he was thrusting into her, hands tangled with hers as he held then either side of her head he knew she was close again.

“Baby, I’m not sure,” he began to gasp and he moaned again as she rolled her hips upwards slightly.

She leaned her head forward, tilting her mouth to gently nip at his neck and whispered three words into his ear. “I got you.” They were words he had spoken to her so many times over the years, three words that told her he would always look after her and the sound of her saying them to him made him lose it.

“Fuck,” he said, his hips stuttering and as she arched into him further he heard her gasp his name again as she tightened around him and fell backwards against the pillow, her breathing deep, as he rode out his release.

Her hands slid into his hair, her fingers brushing his longer hair back off his head as he pressed his forehead to hers, gently rubbing their noses together.

“You need a haircut.” She whispered and Steve laughed.

“You don’t like my seventies’ do?” he teased

“Yeah but,” she shrugged, “it’s old fashioned.” “So am I.” Steve grinned and she hit his chest gently before he rolled off her, falling to his side, facing her. After giving her another soft kiss she turned over, her back pressing to his chest and he scooted up behind her, hands falling to her stomach and they lay still for a while, as he buried his head into her neck. God he’d missed this. Missed her. The way she smelt, the way she felt…

“You can keep the beard though.” Katie murmured. “You’re not Captain America anymore, no need to murder it again.”

Steve laughed before he kissed her neck again and closed his eyes, his arms not once letting go of his precious, precious hold.

And for the first time in fifteen years Steve Rogers slept soundly.

**** Epilogue

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #Katie Stark #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #mcu #mcu fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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somequeerishramblings · 2 years

Text

Okay, generally specific thoughts on sexuality because I’ve been watching all the queer shows that have come out recently, and calling myself the “straight friend” is starting to feel like a lie.

I’m gonna start with the types of attraction and how I feel about each of them:

Sexual attraction: this is something that I’ve understood about myself for a long time. I rarely experience sexual attraction, especially in the moment. I never look at a person and have sexual desires or wants in relation to that person. However, I do still experience sexual impulses, just not necessarily strong ones. I am definitely not interested in this type of physical intimacy with women, but would like an eventual physically intimate relationship with a man. A lot of it is contingent on emotional connection, which I will get to later.

Romantic attraction: once again, I have never really been the type of person to get crushes and can count the number of actual crushes I have experienced in 24 and a half years of life on one hand. I don’t feel romantic attraction when it comes to women, but do feel some when it comes to men. Every once in a while I will wonder at the idea of a relationship between me and a man, and the idea does excite me, but for the most part I don’t really think about it, and I definitely know many people who are way more romantically inclined than I am.

Now we come to my three favorites:

Physical attraction: this one was interesting to consider, since physical touch is way at the bottom of my love languages, and I sometimes have sensory issues related to slight neurodivergency that mean I don’t always like being touched. However, this is definitely something I’ve experienced. I have certain friends that I want hugs from, that I want to sit next to and cuddle on the couch, and who I hold hands with. This goes for guys or girls or nb/trans folks, where my desire to be physically close to that person has nothing to do with sexual desire or romantic desire, but I want to have physical contact with them. I don’t feel this way about all of my friends, and this is sometimes contingent on their love language being physical touch and my love for them as a friend meaning I want to show them that I care about them and resulting in wonderfully platonic snuggles.

Emotional attraction: possibly my favorite and the one I most relate to, I feel emotional attraction to all types of people. I thrive off of deep interpersonal connection, and having a tight knit group of people that I am emotionally close to is my favorite thing in the entire world. The people in this group do not have to fall into any other category of attraction to be in this one, but I find these relationships incredibly fulfilling and wonderful, and they are some of the most important relationships in my life, if not THE most important. Also, usually my sexual and romantic attraction is more likely to happen with someone I am already deeply emotionally attracted to. Again, though, my emotional attraction to a person is completely separate from the previous types of attraction in almost every single way. This is a reason I relate to (but don’t know how much) the term “Queerplatonic” or “Quasiplatonic.” This also ties in a little to my physical attraction to some people who I’m extremely emotionally attracted to, where the combination creates this strange quasi relationship, where we aren’t romantically or sexually interested, but “just friends” is definitely not it.

Finally, aesthetic attraction: this one is easy for me. I am a visual artist, and I think that people are aesthetically pleasing, regardless of gender. For me this does not necessarily lead to sexual attraction, but I can honestly say that I find women, men, and trans/nb folks to be very aesthetically attractive. This is the extent to which I am able to relate to my wonderful bi, lesbian, pan, and etc friends when they talk about their attraction to whichever gender. I can understand the aesthetic attraction, but may lack the romantic and/or sexual attraction. But I do understand romantic and sexual attraction, so their attraction to people I am not attracted to makes sense.

Me vs. Labels

Now, reading this it may seem clear that there are some labels and umbrella categories that I could fall under (A-spec, asexual, demi/graysexual, aromantic, demi/grayromantic, queer/quasiplatonic), however, after research and personal life experience, I don’t really like the labels. For all that I have defined myself as a cis/het woman for the last 24 years, even that label doesn’t fully fit the way that I am. And as freeing as it has been for my friends and family members to discover a label that describes at least some part of their experience, I am not experiencing that. I don’t want to put myself into boxes with words on them that don’t accurately describe who I am or how I feel about things. Labels can be freeing, but they can also be limiting. Calling myself “the straight friend” feels like a lie, because I don’t experience a heteronormative existence. But I’ve been that friend for so long that even when I talk to my A-spec friends about it, it’s almost like I’m still on the outside of the equation. Because I’m not labeled, I don’t count.

This is something that I’ve only more recently begun to struggle with, despite knowing these things about myself for several years. I’d had conversations with one of my extremely queer siblings about it not long after they came out as a-spec, bi, and gender queer to me. For them, having labels and pronouns and all of those things was freeing, and changed their life for the better. But whenever I think about putting a label on myself, or even multiple labels to try to capture nuance, I get stressed. I don’t like it. I love language, I love words, I want to be a writer. But words are limited. They cannot fully capture what it is to be a person. I don’t want to be defined by words on a box, because who I am and how I exist is much deeper than that.

#somequeerishramblings #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #a spec #asexual #graysexual #demisexual #aromantic #grayromantic #demiromantic #queerplatonic #quasiplatonic #labels #just some ramblings on my experience #currently feeling outside of the community despite probably fitting within it #no labels

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ihyperfixatedtoohard · 3 years

Note

Not my fave song but a song that I’ve always thot is great for romance Under control by Parachute for geraskier ofc

I’m sorry this took so long, I’ve just had terrible writer’s block lately, which is why this one is a bit rushed and doesn’t flow well. Hopefully I’ll come back to it at some point. To make it up to you, I included a drawing of one of the random scenes from this! I hope you like it! (Also, by drawing, I mean incredibly quick sketch that I will likely never finish of Jaskier gazing at Geralt longingly just before the kiss)

~1,300 words

Warnings- Uhh… Geralt yells at Jaskier, they kiss in front of a bunch of people, mutual pining, Slightly Horny, but really just barely, happy ending

Geralt could feel eyes on him. Never a good sign. Usually it means a fight, or at the very least a one-sided screaming match where Geralt will just have to sit there and accept the verbal abuse. This had been happening since Jaskier started playing for the night, but no matter how many times Geralt checked his surroundings, he couldn’t figure out who was staring at him.

An hour passed, and then ten minutes, before he finally turned around fully to see if they were stupid enough to be boring holes in him from directly behind him and-… and… it was Jaskier. Had been Jaskier the whole time. He looked alive, prancing about on stage like that- eyes ablaze with energy, joy, hopefulness. All things Geralt hardly ever saw- especially not with eyes turned upon his figure. When Geralt met Jaskier’s eyes, the gaze quickly shifted, and Geralt couldn’t help but feel like Jaskier thought he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. Geralt knew the way Jaskier loved- quickly and fiercely, with his whole being- and Geralt also knew that such affections could never turn his way- be directed at him- even when Jaskier did things like this. Even when the ridiculous bard pulled shit like this- looking as though he longed for something and then decided he couldn’t have it. Fortunately, Geralt was a smart enough man to know that his thoughts were misplaced- that everything he thought he saw as romance was nothing more than his own longing, and his mind playing tricks to ease the pain of loving someone like Jaskier.

Another hour passed by before Jaskier’s show ended, and the whole time Geralt had been thinking of nothing but the expressions that had danced across the bard’s face. Jaskier approached Geralt’s table and sat across from him as he dabbed at the sweat on his brow. Geralt couldn’t help the feeling that stirred in his stomach- the feeling that he always got after Jaskier finished a performance- which was immediately followed by countless unsavory thoughts.

“… Geralt? You’re staring through me again.” He chuckled softly. “Are you alright?”

“Mh- oh, yes.”

“Good. Did you enjoy the performance?” Jaskier leaned lazily against the table as an ale was brought to the table- complementary, due to the performance.

“… It was less annoying that usual.” Geralt grunted. He refused to admit he liked Jaskier’s performances. It would give him away completely. Jaskier huffed and rolled his eyes before picking up the mug of ale and drinking deeply. He wiped the remaining foam from his lip with the back of his hand.

“Bollocks. You like my music. Don’t lie.” Geralt let out a soft chuckle in place of a response, which Jaskier chose to scoff at before returning to his drink. Geralt stared at him for a moment- wondering how to talk to Jaskier about what had happened during Jaskier’s show.

“Anyway, I think it’s about time for us to reti-“

“You were staring at me.” Geralt grumbled before Jaskier could finish his sentence, causing the poor bard to choke on air.

“I-I beg your pardon?”

“… I noticed you staring at me for most of your performance… You stopped when I looked at you.” Geralt was confused about Jaskier’s sudden (yet dulled) nervousness. The poet was suddenly looking anywhere but at him, and Geralt couldn’t help but feel like he may have done something wrong.

“Well, I had planned to do this later, but…” Jaskier leaned closer to Geralt, which let the witcher catch a better whiff of the bard without his scent being drowned out by all of the others the bar had to offer.

“… You’re already drunk.” Geralt stated with slight surprise. He began to wonder if Jaskier would be more nervous right now if he weren’t intoxicated. Jaskier snorted.

“I was drinking before the performance, remember?” He chuckled as he leaned closer. “C’mere. Closer.” He slurred. Seems the adrenaline high of his performance was leaving now. Jaskier was far less focused on annunciating properly.

“… I’d rather not. Your breath is terrible.” That wasn’t exactly a lie, but there was also the fact that their faces were already so close that if Geralt leaned in any more, their lips would-… well… yeah. Jaskier giggled and moved closer, and Geralt leaned back to leave the bard more space. Jaskier huffed and rolled his eyes for the second time that night.

“You utter cock. Gotta do everything myself.”

“What the hell do you-“ He didn’t have time to finish speaking before Jaskier had launched himself around Geralt and wrapped his arms around his neck and… and kissed him! Geralt was too started to move, and he could feel dozens of eyes on them. Jaskier finally pulled back after what felt like centuries with a dazed and loving look in his eyes.

“Mhh… ‘ve wanted to do that for years.” He laughed softly. If witchers could blush, Geralt’s face would have been bright red as he grabbed his bard and carried him up to the room they had rented. Geralt just wanted to get away from the crowd as quickly as possible so he could sort through his thoughts and talk with Jaskier in private. He tossed Jaskier on the bed, and the bard clearly had a different idea of what that meant from the look he gave Geralt.

“Well, glad to see you’re just as eager as I am-“

“What the hell was that, Jask!?” Geralt shouted. He likely sounded far angrier than he actually was, but he honestly wasn’t sure what he was feeling at all. He had never experienced this much emotion at once, so it all just sort of came out as anger, since that was the emotion he was most comfortable with. Jaskier sat up straighter after Geralt yelled at him, and seemed to be more alert (or at least less lusty).

“Oh… oh, fuck, you didn’t- shit, I thought if I- fuck, I’m so stupid!” Jaskier groaned and put his head in his hands. Geralt looked over, about to agree and tear Jaskier a new one for whatever the hell sort of stunt he was trying to pull, but… well, when he turned to fully face Jaskier he realised the poor man was crying. Geralt stared for a moment- completely perplexed by this new development. Cautiously, he stepped closer, until he was sitting by the bard’s side on the bed.

“Jask, I… I’m not… I’m not mad, I just… what the hell got into you? You made a whole scene, and-“

“I know,” Jaskier interrupted, his voice shaking, “I know, I just… I-I just… I’ve… I love you. I have for so long, and… and I wanted… I wanted to tell you, b-but I knew I wouldnt’ be able to do it unless I was-“ Suddenly, all of the pieces clicked together in Geralt’s mind, revealing the full picture of his bard’s emotions.

“Drunk… you… you got drunk… so you could confess to me…” He stated somewhat dumbly. Jaskier simply nodded.

“I-I guess… I misjudged my ability to keep myself together… I had meant to just tell you, but… gods, did I actually kiss you in front of-“

“Yeah… you did… it was, um… well, it was certainly something.” Geralt coughed. In hindsight, it was rather attractive. Jaskier seemed to be picking up on Geralt’s thoughts, which gave him the courage to ask Geralt an important question.

“… Well… now you know that I love you… do… how would… I-I just mean, is there any way you would-“ Jaskier’s ramblings came to a haunt as soft, unsure lips gently brushed his own. Geralt was about to pull back- not wanting to linger, just in case Jaskier changed his mind, but Jaskier wasn’t having it. He wrapped his arms around Geralt’s neck and pulled the witcher down on top of him- capturing him in a hungry, desperate kiss- like that kiss was the only thing he had ever truly wanted in life. It may very well have been. When they pulled away, both breathless and in need of air, Jaskier spoke again.

“So… does this mean you love me?” He asked somewhat sheepishly. Geralt let out a gentle chuckle and, fuck, if Jaskier couldn’t listen to that laugh forever.

“Yes, Jaskier. I love you.”

Aaaand, now the sketch I promised>>>>

#jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #the witcher #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #geraskier+headcanon #gerlion #art #fan fiction

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sserpente · 4 years

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A/N: Random idea. Very fluffy. A little awkward… probably what would actually happen if you took Loki to a thermal bath spa when you are seriously crushing on him… enjoy! ;-)

Words: 4087 Warnings: a lot of fluff, sexual themes, implied smut

Birthdays were special—or at least, they should be. For the last decade, however, your own reflection in the mirror had been the only one wishing you a happy birthday. You had grown used to it. Loneliness was not so bad once you learned how to deal with the ache in your heart. But perhaps this year could be different, even though by now, you avoided telling the people in your life about your date of birth.

You had joined the Avengers a little over eight months now—and even though they were all nice and kind, there was only one other person you truly connected with. Loki. The man who had, only a few years ago, attempted to subjugate the entire planet. You shook your head quickly. It had not been his fault, not entirely. He had suffered under Thanos’ torments as much as you had been suffering under your loneliness. He was lonely too. Thor was his brother but he was no longer a friend, not really. The distance between them, albeit not physical, felt heart-breaking to even watch.

Surely, Loki would not be opposed to joining you in the thermal bath spa today. You intended to treat yourself, clandestinely and quietly, for your birthday. Having Loki with you—the man you could not only spend countless sleepless nights with talking about life, desires and fears but also caused your reoccurring and uncontrollable wet dreams. Seeing him shirtless for almost an entire day would put the cherry on top of your imaginary birthday cake.

Cautiously, you knocked on his door, your bag already packed. You would not need more than a book to relax with, some snacks (some of which were healthier than others), a towel and another bikini to change into, especially since the exclusive sauna was a no-clothing area anyway. Oh… if you got Loki to join you there…

“Yes…?” Loki’s disinterested face practically lit up when he realised it was you who had knocked. Smiling, you squeezed yourself through the gap.

“Hi.”

“Good morning.” He frowned, eyeing your bag. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I am, and I was wondering if you would like to join me. I’m heading to a local thermal bath spa to relax a little. You know… whirlpools, saunas, massages…”

Intrigued, he leaned forward. He remembered receiving positively amazing massages from Asgardian therapists in the palace when he was younger. They had worked wonders on his exhausted muscles after his training with Thor.

“Who else is coming?” He asked.

“No one. Just you and me.”

The God of Mischief smirked. “Very well.”

It had taken him time to warm up to you, and he had not just once questioned your intentions and sincerity. It warmed your heart, seeing him blithe, cheeky and curious now whenever the two of you were together. It almost felt like catching glimpses of his old, light-hearted self—before he had found out he was a Frost Giant; and that his whole life had been but a lie.

Loki had a good heart—he merely protected it well.

“Are you telling me we are going to share these pools with other people?!” He exclaimed in a downright horrified manner as you walked past the first swimming area to the reception.

“Oh… yes.” You giggled. “I’m afraid so, the spa is open for other customers too, after all. I’ve booked a booth all for myself… so we’ll have as much privacy as possible, alright? Hi!” You smiled at the receptionist who gave you a court nod.

“I’ve made a reservation, the name is (Y/L/N).”

“Oh yes, Ms (Y/L/N), you’re right on time. Please, let me escort you and your partner to your booth. Inside, you’ll find our welcome package, including champagne and the hot chocolate for your massage. If you need anything else, you can pay with your bracelets which will also give you access to our sauna world. Any purchases made will be added to your bill when you check out, other than that… we’re happy to help if you are experiencing any problems.” The words bubbled from her mouth like the gushing waterfall in the whirlpool area.

“Oh, uh, yes, thank you.” You stuttered. You blinked, blushing furiously. Loki spoke up as soon as she was gone and left you to change into your complementary bathrobes.

“Hot chocolate… for our massage?”

“Um… yeah… the package I booked to get this booth is intended for couples, usually.” You had almost forgotten about that when you decided to invite Loki this morning… Well, at least, the booth was nice. Opaque and dimly lit, it reminded you of an indoor-tipi. Inside, a giant round mattress took most of the space, along with a small table with, like the receptionist had promised, the hot chocolate and a bottle of champagne with two glasses.

“Ah. I see.”

Your heart skipped a beat, no, several at once, when Loki’s blue gaze met yours. If only he knew about your wet dreams… with a sigh, you undressed until all there was left was your bikini. You truly couldn’t wait to dive into the whirlpool first thing before your massage appointments, but what you were looking forward to even more was spending an entire day with Loki completely shirtless.

You gulped, quietly, when he followed your example. Quite hilariously, he had been rather unfamiliar with the concept of swimwear. On Asgard, nudity was rarely frowned upon when it came to bathing, whether it was a giant bathtub or a lake—still, Loki had always had the privilege of complete privacy as a prince, so he had told you.

He had refused to borrow one of Tony’s bathing trunks and instead opted for magic. Now, all he was left wearing were a pair of black swimming trunks with green and gold accents, complimenting his pale, yet well-defined and muscly chest.

“Do you like what you are seeing, my dear?” Blinking, you cleared your throat, quickly looking away. You blushed again, causing the God of Mischief to chuckle to himself. He truly was a tease. By now, you had learned this much—Loki was constantly torn between his smugness and confidence because of his physical superiority over you and his own shyness and insecurities whispering to him that as a Jötun, who would ever find him attractive compared to the mighty Thor?

You longed to prove him a lot more often he was indeed a lot more handsome than the Thunderer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said finally, his cheeky grin growing even wider when you grabbed a towel and headed for the whirlpools. Loki followed you amused.

“Loki…?”

“Yes, my dear?”

You had been watching him, secretly of course, for the past twenty minutes now. How his muscles danced when he leaned back and closed his eyes, arms spread on the edge of the whirlpool and his Adam’s apple moving slightly when he swallowed… his wet body shimmering in the dim light of the spa… focus.

“Is there a reason nobody else is willing to join us in this particular whirlpool?” He really liked this one. For the past hour, you had been trying them all out. You could tell he preferred those with lower water temperatures. Oddly, however, other customers practically seemed to avoid the pool. Granted, some of them might have recognised him… but surely not all of them.

“I would never…” He teased, opening one eye and glaring at you mischievously. You grinned, shaking your head. For Heaven’s sake, you would only love to swim over to him and sit on his lap, find out what it would feel like to straddle him and to explore his muscles with your wet palms… but you would probably freak him out if you did. Loki had never indicated he had a romantic, let alone sexual interest in you. Your wet dreams would most likely remain just that—dreams. Wishful thinking. You sighed, taking a peek at the huge clock on the wall.

“We have one and half more hours until our massages. I’m gonna dry off and head to the sauna for a bit but you can stay here if you like.”

“No,” he replied quickly. “I will join you.”

You climbed out of the whirlpool with a smile, your body, instead of freezing, growing hot as soon as you heaved yourself out of the water. The cool air should have made you shiver, yet you felt your back burning. Loki was watching you, you were sure of it. Intently.

You returned to your private booth to put on your bathrobe, with Loki following you suit. It was nice and warm inside, perfect for a short break.

“Ugh, stupid hair…” Grumbling to yourself, you struggled to make your wet ponytail presentable again. The God of Mischief chuckled and raised an eyebrow, a cheeky smirk tugging at his lips.

“Come.” He said, reaching out for you. Blinking, and ignoring your rapid heartbeat, you obeyed. He made you turn around so you were sitting between his legs, holding onto his thigh for support. You had expected so much out of this spa visit with Loki… but not that you would become so aroused throughout the day. This man could be breathing peacefully and it would make you horny. For Heaven’s sake…

You almost purred when he suddenly ran his long fingers through your wet streaks to untangle it a little. He removed the hair tie easily and soon began to part your hair in three. Before you even realised what he was doing, he was already braiding it neatly.

“You… wow. Thank you. How do you know how to do that?” And how do I get you to do this more often? His fingers had felt wonderfully in your hair and on your scalp. You could only imagine him pampering other parts of your body…

“I used to do it for my mother as a child. I always came to hide with her in her dressing room. It somehow calmed me down whenever Thor and his friends… never mind.”

Turn around, a seductive voice in your head screamed. Turn around and kiss him, now! But you did no such thing. Instead, you darted away from him as if stung by an adder, much to his surprise.

“S-sauna.” You said quickly. “ Loki nodded, eyes, however, widening fast when you started taking off your bikini under the bathrobe.

“What are you doing now?”

“Uh, there are no clothes allowed in the sauna.” You mumbled in response, curious about how he would react.

Gosh, ever since your arrival, you were torn between seduce him and pounce on him and run away screaming. You just couldn’t decide… in fact… in fact you wished he would just pull you on his lap and kiss you senseless.

“You mean to run around naked? Among strange men?” He countered as he approached you slowly. He looked good in that white bathrobe, it complemented his wet raven hair… argh, focus! Loki sounded almost… possessive. A sign? Would he kiss you? Pretty please with a cherry on top? Perhaps you should just tell him it was your birthday and ask for a proper kiss as your birthday gift.

“I do it all the time, Loki. No one cares about the nudity in there. Besides, it’s rather dark in the cabins. I understand if you don’t want to do it though, you don’t have to come with me, I can—”

The God of Mischief snorted. “I am not letting you go there alone.”

You paused, mid-sentence, a smile tugging at your lips. Now you couldn’t just kiss him but at least, you could hug him. Loki always acted like he hated the physical affection you often showered him with but in that aspect, he was a bad liar. A sigh escaped his lips when he reciprocated your hug and wrapped his arms around your body. It was so tiny compared to his, the urge to protect growing within him like an ancient, primal need. Mine… he blinked.

Oh no, you were a mortal. He would not make the same mistake as his brother and fall for a woman who would die centuries before him.

“Let us go.” He had not told you yet but he was not overly fond of saunas. He was familiar with the concept, of course—steam baths and alike—but had usually avoided them back on Asgard. It wasn’t until he had found out he was a Frost Giant that he realised why he despised the heat so much and yet… he was willing to sweat with discomfort just so he could see your half-naked, no, all naked body all wet and warm and… Loki cleared his throat and let go of you like a piece of blistering firewood. Mutely, he followed you to the sauna world and used his bracelet to get inside.

He already longed to snap the necks of the men turning around to glare at you hungrily when you both entered, his left hand jerking slightly as he almost brought it to the small of your back to show them you were taken. They glanced away again quickly, realising Loki was not to be meddled with.

As soon as the two of you had disappeared into one of the cabins—an empty one, much to his relief—he flicked his wrist. A green, barely visible shimmer of light surrounded the opaque door. No one else would get to explore your naked body with their eyes now—only him.

Only then did he start to feel the gravity of the heat around him. It enveloped him, slowed him down… he took a deep, disgusted breath.

You shouldn’t be shy. Fuck it. Drop your towel. So you did, avoiding Loki’s heated gaze on you as you did and sat down. While part of you meant to lean back and present your breasts to him temptingly, another wanted you to cover yourself up again this instant. You looked up and…

Loki’s lips were parted. He didn’t even think about removing the towel around his hips. Instead, his greedy gaze wandered up and down your body, slowly and intimately. You gulped. It took him a moment to pick himself up.

Then, finally, he slowly removed his own towel, revealing the sight of his member. You swallowed thickly. He was big. Bigger than the average man, even in his soft state. Loki sat down next to you, another mischievous smirk playing on his lips. He knew. He bloody knew. He must have… right?

With any other Avengers, this situation would have been super awkward and strange but with Loki… it was peaceful. Neither of you felt ashamed to be naked around the other, no sounds disrupting the silence. The heat felt amazing, sweating all negative energy from your system even better. There was only the steam hissing in the background, the rapid beating of your own heart and Loki, panting frantically. Panting?

“Loki? Are you okay?”

“I feel fine.” He lied. You flinched when you looked over to him. Loki was blue, his eyes glowing red in the dimly lit sauna and his bare chest decorated with dozens of ridges you longed to trace with your fingertips.

“You’re blue!”

Taken aback, the God of Mischief gazed down at himself, jumping up as if stung by an adder as soon as he realised.

“A-are you okay?”

“Fine,” he choked out. You barely had a chance to reply before he stormed out of the sauna.

“Loki! Loki, wait!” Grabbing your towel before you could dart after him, you clumsily wrapped it around your body to cover yourself up. Loki had disappeared into the shower room.

He glared at you from the corner of his eye when he saw you approaching him slowly—ignoring the other naked man taking a shower as cool as you please. The pattering of the water onto the wet files echoing through the room pierced your ears the closer you came but you barely even registered it. Loki was leaning against the wall, palms pressed flatly against it. He looked normal again. Not blue.

“You were not supposed to see that.” He growled quietly. Hesitatingly, you put one of your hands on his shoulder blade. He had no idea how this could have even happened. His body reacted to the cold. To objects of Jötun origin, not to heat and hot air. It must have been a defence mechanism to cope with the sudden temperature change…

“It doesn’t matter, Loki. I knew about… well.”

“You knew I am a monster? A wolf in sheep’s clothing?” He snapped bitterly.

“I knew you were a Frost Giant. You’re not a monster. You haven’t eaten me yet, have you?” You joked, waiting for him to reply. When he said nothing, you took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Loki, I didn’t think the heat would do… this. Are you… are you sure you’re okay? I don’t want to spend the rest of my birthday in the hospital.” Even though you were fairly certain a regular hospital could barely help the God of Mischief. You should have considered his race when suggesting the sauna. Why, for Heaven’s sake, hadn’t he refused to come with you? To… protect you, maybe? From other, greedy men? Your pussy clenched at the mere thought of it.

“What did you just say?”

“W-what? Nothing.” Shit.

“Your birthday. You said it was your birthday.”

Defeated, you gave him a court nod and shrugged innocently. “It… it is. That’s why I wanted to come here today, relax a little… and spend time with you. Let’s just… go back to our booth and forget this happened, alright?”

She is not afraid of you. She does not hate you. She is not disgusted. The thoughts tumbled through Loki’s head like a house of twigs collapsing in on itself. She wants to spend her birthday with you.

He nodded mutely, for once at loss for words, and followed you. He had sworn to himself to not make the same mistake as his brother, besides, a mortal was no match for him… right? How soon, however, would he once again find someone who liked his company simply for the sake of it? Someone who would spend their most important day with him of all people? Someone who did not despise his true nature? Perhaps… perhaps, he should reconsider.

Hungry for a snack to stifle the shock, you reached into your bag to retrieve a package of marshmallows once you were back in your private booth. It was your birthday, after all. You could have some additional calories today if you weren’t going to get any cake. Apart from that, you needed something to munch on, even after admiring Loki’s backside… and his very impressive manhood. You wondered, briefly, if his cock was covered in ridges too when he was in his Jötun form… and how they would feel inside of you. You should have looked down when you had the chance. Licking your lips with a hum in a weak attempt to distract yourself from your naughty thoughts, you ripped open the package and fished one of the marshmallows out.

In the meantime, Loki opened the champagne bottle and poured you both a glass.

“And what is that supposed to be?” He said as he handed you one of them.

“Marshmallows? You’ve never had marshmallows before?”

“No…” He responded slowly, rather suspicious towards the white sugar clumps.

“They’re sweet and soft and… here.” Unceremoniously, you dipped it into the hot chocolate. It shouldn’t go to waste, now should it? “Eat.”

Loki obeyed, still in doubt but he soon hummed in approval when he let it disappear in his mouth. “Delicious… Tell me, what was that hot chocolate intended for, initially?” He asked curiously when he had swallowed, nodding at it before taking a sip of his champagne.

“Um… well…”

Impatiently, he raised an eyebrow.

“It’s for, uh, couple massages. You know… you’re supposed to use the chocolate for… as…”

“Massage oil?” He finished your sentence with a nod. His blue eyes locked with yours, making your heart pound in your chest. By the Norns, he should have read the signs earlier. The way you looked at him—both shyly and provocatively at the same time… the way your breath caught in your lungs whenever he touched you, even if it was in the most innocent and decent way possible. You made him laugh, too. It had been a while since he had laughed, from all his heart.

“Hmm, I see. Well, perhaps you were wrong, my dear.” He mused and put his glass away, making his decision there and then. “Perhaps I will eat you after all.”

He smirked—maliciously at that when your eyes widened and he crawled up to you on the huge mattress, right until he towered above you. Unceremoniously, he reached for the hot chocolate and inhaled deeply. The scent was infatuating—Loki’s hungry glare, however, even more so.

“L-Loki… what are you doing?”

His lips parted, one of his hands reaching up to caress your cheek. You shivered, desire and affection rippling through you. What was happening here?

You couldn’t help it. Your eyes wandered down to his lips. What would it feel like to press your lips against his? What would it feel like… oh. He was kissing you. A moan escaped your throat when his mouth came crashing down on yours, kissing you gently at first and then, devouring your lips like his last meal. Your languishing glance, so it seemed, was all the invitation he had needed. Loki’s hands set your body on fire, exploring every inch of your skin, stroking your neck, your arms, your chest…

You squealed when he undid the messy knot you had tied into your towel, leaving you completely exposed beneath him. Once more, his blue eyes appeared to ravish you whole. Then, suddenly, you both witnessed and felt him pouring the warm chocolate over your chest and breasts, your already hardening nipples reacting to the sweet liquid immediately. Oh my… God…

You couldn’t have imagined it to be like this in your wildest dreams. Goose bumps lingered wherever his fingertips ghosted over your body, the droplets of chocolate tickling where they trailed down your sides, threatening to stain the mattress. Your breath was trembling from desire by the time Loki lowered his head to your body and finally released your now swollen lips, instead tending to the warm and sweet mess he had created on your upper body. His tongue darted out as he hummed in joyful anticipation, patiently licking you clean.

Your back arched, hips bucking up towards him and grazing his crotch. It was him who moaned this time, his free hand, for he propped himself up with the other, fondling one of your breasts. You wanted more. Oh, you wanted so much more. But not here. This booth was private but at the end of the day you were still in public. At home, back at the compound… if that was what he wanted too. Don’t be a fool… of course he wants it too, the horny voice inside your head complained.

“Hmm… this tastes much better than those marshmallows…” He purred. You whimpered when he sucked one of your hard nipples into his mouth and tenderly nibbled on it. The attention made you clench your legs. Betraying arousal was pooling in your centre, drenching your bikini bottoms. If he didn’t stop now…

“W-we’re going to miss our m-massages, Loki…” You attempted weakly.

Loki chuckled darkly. “Something tells me you wouldn’t very much mind that, my sweet.” My sweet… if you hadn’t been lying down, your knees would have given in now at the very latest. Loki had a lot of explaining to do, and so did you. You had pounced on one another like wolves in heat, like sex-starved beasts… but not now. For the time being, you would simply enjoy having broken the thin layer of ice remaining between you. “You are right, of course.” He added then. “I want to be the only one to hear you screaming my name…” Another low chuckle rumbled through his voice chords, sending pleasant shivers up and down your spine. Reluctantly, he released you and let you catch your breath. Naked, you sat up, eyeing him with a shy smile which Loki reciprocated. This spa day escalated quickly, you thought, giggling to yourself. Not that you were to complain.

He winked. “Happy Birthday, (Y/N).”

A/N: Check out my blog to find more Imagines and take a glimpse at my first (to be) published novel! If you enjoyed this story, I would appreciate so much if you supported me on Kofi! ko-fi.com/sserpente ♥

828 notes · View notes

90slevi · 4 years

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Late-Night Talks {Levi x Reader}

TW: threats of violence, cursing (all canon-typical)

It was the middle of the night. You were supposed to be in bed and resting, ready for another day of intense training to prepare for the upcoming expedition, but you couldn't sleep. Too many thoughts littered your brain, and an unexpected fear flooded your veins. Despite being one of the best soldiers on the Squad (Levi's Squad, too), you were constantly filled with anxieties and worries. Not about yourself, though. Ever since you'd joined, you were prepared to die whenever you left Wall Rose. But... you weren't ready to watch another one of your friends be eaten at the hands of a monster.

Sitting in one of the trees outside the dorm building, you looked up at the sky to see it littered with stars, not a cloud in sight. It was also a full moon, and you hoped that it was a sign that nobody would die on this expedition, which was a stupid thought because at least ten people always died. Ever since you were a kid, you'd wanted to know the mysteries past the walls. There was so much more to life than just sitting inside Wall Sina eating bread and watching people live in boredom, so that's why you'd joined the Cadets.

You'd never been prepared for the mental and emotional trauma that came with it, though.

You were quickly shaken out of your daydream, however, when a very authoritative yet all-too-familiar voice shouted for you at the bottom of the tree.

"Oi, Soldier, get down from there," Captain Levi demanded, a hint of tiredness laced in his strict tone. You sighed and looked down, your eyebrows raised at him without saying a word. You knew Levi hated it when he was ignored, especially by someone in the inferior ranks, but you weren't too bothered.

You were close, after all. Maybe a little bit... too close.

"Hey, are you deaf?" he asked, still unable to notice who it was due to the darkness. "I said-"

"Yeah, I heard you," you responded with a sigh, spinning around on the branch you were sat on so you could properly look at him. Levi gave you a quick glare before aiming his manoeuver gear up at the tree and shooting so he was right next to you. "What's up?"

"'What's up'?" Levi repeated, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "I should be asking you that. It's 2 in the morning, get back to your dorm."

"I can't sleep," you shrugged, gesturing at your black pyjamas you were still wearing. Instead of using gear as Levi had, you'd chosen to simply climb the tree, something you'd done since you were little. "Thought I'd come out here and look at the stars or something."

Sighing, the black-haired Captain shook his head and reluctantly sat down beside you, deciding it was no use in telling you to come down. He also couldn't be bothered to drag you down by force. It was clear the both of you were tired; he was too lazy to raise his voice and you had obvious bags underneath your eyes.

Plus, he didn't really enforce the rules on you.

If it was someone like Eren Jaeger or one of the 'brats' who'd just moved up from the trainees, he would've either forced them down or booted them off the tree, but he liked you. The two of you got along incredibly well and were often seen spending time together alone by other cadets, who assumed at first that the two of you were in a relationship. Levi didn't exactly like this rumour and shut them up instantly with a swift kick in the shins, but began to realise he did feel some sort of way towards you that he didn't with other people. And it was the same for you, too.

Unlike Levi, you'd actually felt romantic attraction to people before, despite it only being once and swearing on your life you'd never do it again, so at least you knew what it felt like. After the two of you discussing a possible relationship, you'd decided to not get together in fear of what could happen if one of you were in danger or, even worse, killed. Emotional connections weren't the best thing to occur in the Survey Corps, because you could confess your love one day and then be brutally squashed the next day by a Titan. And although it was highly unlikely that Levi was dying anytime soon, you weren't as skilled as he was and had almost been killed on multiple occasions already.

This didn't exactly stop the two of you from feeling that way towards each other, however.

"You look tired," Levi said, his voice much softer now. You nodded, a small smile on your face. "You can always visit me, you know. When you can't sleep."

"I could," you chuckled, looked down at the ground as your legs hung dangerously off the side of the branch. "But others would definitely get the wrong impression. Plus, I don't think it's exactly... right for a soldier to visit their captain in the middle of the night."

"Who cares?" Levi muttered, rolling his eyes and making your smile widen at his attitude. "I can always make you tea to help you sleep."

"I think the only way I'd be able to sleep was if you knocked me out," you replied, your memories going back to the time Levi had actually made you unconscious just so you could get a wink of sleep. It was something the two of you had laughed about afterward, but at the time... it wasn't really that fun. Plagued with nightmares and waking up crying, Levi couldn't figure out anything other than booting you in the head to get you to have even an hour of sleep. Levi scoffed at your comment and cracked his knuckles.

"I can do that if you wish," he said, and you grimaced, holding your hands up.

"I'd rather not," you answered, remembering the issues you'd had. "You nearly gave me a concussion, and I had that bump on the back of my head for nearly a week!"

"I wouldn't be surprised if you'd got brain damage," he mumbled off-handedly, and you playfully hit him in the shoulder. "Oi!"

"I sometimes wonder if YOU'RE the one with brain damage," you teased, and he hit you back. You pouted at him, and he gave you the classic Levi-glare you were all too used to now.

"If that's what I've got, then putting up with you is what gave it me," Levi threw back, and you gasped dramatically, falling backward. His eyes widened in surprise, one of his arms automatically reaching out to catch you, but you were fine. All you were doing was hanging upside down from the branch, using only your legs as support as you swung dangerously. It was something you'd done for years, so it was fine, but clearly, Levi wasn't used to it. "Doing that will definitely give you brain damage. Get back up here!"

"You're just using that as an excuse because you're scared, aren't you?" you giggled, pulling yourself back up to safety and adjusting your pyjama top. Even if your shirt had risen early, you didn't mind; Levi had seen your body before, so it wasn't like it was something sacred you had to hide. "Awh, is Levi scared that I'm gonna fall?"

"You just looked like a total idiot, that's all," he shrugged, rolling his eyes again as he looked away. You adored teasing him; it completely tore away that tough persona he liked to put on in front of the Cadets and other soldiers and showed a much more vulnerable, real version of the man you cared about so much. "And I don't exactly fancy having one of my best soldiers having a broken bone or two only two weeks before the expedition."

That word. Expedition.

You went silent, your heart racing as you were reminded so suddenly of the impending doom you were so close to experiencing again. Gulping, you began to sub-consciously nibble at your thumb, and Levi noticed your anxieties pretty much instantly.

Ah, so that's why you're up here.

"Maybe that was your intention," Levi said calmly, raising an eyebrow. "To break a bone supposedly by accident so you don't have to go on the expedition. Coward."

"As if I'd ever do that!" you exclaimed, a little louder than you'd intended. The Captain cocked his head with his eyebrows raised, almost judging you until you were able to tell him the truth. He may be cruel with his way of getting information out of people, but he was determined to do it. That way, he could actually help you instead of giving meaningless hope and compliments that were bound to do nothing in the long run. "I'm just... a little scared, that's all."

"It's funny that you think you're the only one," Levi scoffed, rather surprised that you were so nervous you were hiding away. Usually, you came to him with your problems, trusting him enough to share even the stupidest of things, but this was... odd. Either you were absolutely terrified or there was another thing you weren't telling him. "I bet the Cadets are absolutely shitting themselves. C'mon, there's something else, isn't there?"

"And what will you do if I don't tell you?"

"Beat the shit out of you."

You snorted before looking down at your feet. As unlikely as it was that Levi would even lay a menacing hand on you, you wouldn't be surprised if he actually did go on his word just to get the information out. He was caring... in a very strange way. But you didn't mind; the two of you were just as good as each other at hand-to-hand combat, so it'd be a challenge for him to properly harm you as he did with the Cadets and lower ranks.

"You'll laugh at me."

"Have I ever laughed at you, brat?"

"Yes."

Levi was silent, trying to recall the last time he'd ever even laughed, never mind at you. Although... there was one time where he'd made fun of you for something pretty dumb, and then there was another time when he chuckled at you when you dropped a piece of bread and flipped it off, and then-

Okay, you'd made him laugh more times than he'd like to admit. But that wasn't the point.

"That's a lie," he ironically lied, his face still as blunt as ever despite joking around. It was something you surprisingly liked about Levi; his dry sense of humour was just as dry as he acted, and it suited him well. "Now, brat, tell me."

"It's just the same old stuff, really," you shrugged, sighing as you looked up at the sky. You had no idea what time it was, only that it was between 2am and 4am just by glancing at the moon and knew you ought to get at least a bit of sleep. You yawned, and Levi noticed. "It's stupid because I know for a fact it'll happen every time I leave these walls, but I don't want people I know to die. Especially those I care about."

"Tch, everyone feels like that," Levi said, thankful it wasn't anything more serious. Just the average 'I don't want people to die' talk. "Even Eyebrows, which is shocking, I know."

"I know, but..." you trailed off, not wanting to talk about your worries about Levi. He had the most dangerous part of the whole expedition in the next two weeks and although you knew he could take it, there was still an incline of worry that spread across your body like a parasite. Sighing, you yawned again, pressing your palms into your eyes to try and rub the sleep out of your eyes. Levi raised his eyebrows and put his hand firmly on your thigh.

"Well, if you're not gonna tell me, then you're going to bed," he insisted, standing up and holding his hand out for you to take. Reluctantly, you rolled your eyes and took it, being pulled to your feet and pulled into his side. "And if that means knocking you the fuck out, then so be it."

"And what if I don't wake up in time?" you asked, watching as Levi shot into the ground with his gear and pulled you with him. He sighed, grabbing harshly onto your wrist so you didn't run away.

"Then you'll have to train even harder when you do," he said bluntly, and you groaned in disapproval, trying to ignore the slight pain in your wrist he was causing. "Because I'm not having your stupidity and exhaustion cost you your life. Got it?"

"Got it," you muttered, pouting as he dragged you up the stairs in the dorm building. It appeared that he was taking you to his room to make sure you actually slept instead of sneaking back out of your window. Although, you didn't mind spending the night with Levi. Even if the two of you didn't sleep, you still ended up having late-night talks and even at some points drinking. Luckily, he had a very high alcohol tolerance, being able to drink over a bottle without showing he had done in the morning. You, on the other hand, weren't so tolerant... "God, people would think you've been hired to look after me or something."

"It feels like that 90% of the time," he replied, and you grinned, entering his room.

Once again, it was just as spotless as last time you'd been in there. It was constantly organised, with his bed covered in crisp white sheets and a pile of papers displayed neatly on his mahogany desk. Books stood in alphabetical order on his bookcase, completely dust-free, and his curtains were closed symmetrically over his window. Two lit candles sat on his desk, presumably lit just before he went to fetch you, and his green cloak lay folded-up over the side of his sofa. It was a comfortable room, and one you really enjoyed visiting.

"So, am I knocking you out, or are you gonna sleep, Y/n?" Levi threatened, flopping down onto his sofa as he unbuckled his gear. For someone who only got two hours of sleep per night if he was lucky, it was pretty hypocritical that he was trying to get you to go to bed. It was also nice to hear him call you by your first name for once, instead of a stupid nickname like 'brat' or 'dumbass'. "Choose quickly, because I'd quite like to finish the book I was reading."

"I think I'd rather sleep without getting punched in the face," you answered with a grin, flopping down onto his bed that you'd slept in multiple times before. For some reason, it was always comfier than the bed you had in your dorm room, and despite not being a double bed, it managed to fit the two of you in easily if you both wanted to share.

Then again, you both weren't the tallest of people.

"Yeah, that's the better option," Levi sighed, sinking calmly into his sofa as he pulled off his boots and tucked them beside the door. The room was silent for a few minutes as you closed your eyes on top of his bed, not even underneath the duvet. It was still unlikely you'd sleep much, as there was a lot on your mind, but at least you were resting. Then, Levi's voice entered the room. "You're not going to sleep, are you?"

"Not really," you muttered, your eyes cracking open. You stared at the ceiling, hearing the man's footsteps walk over and eventually stop. Turning your head, you noticed he was squatting beside the bed, his face pretty much right next to yours. His expression was much softer now as he watched your eyes move, and he reached up to brush your hair from out of your face.

"I'm not an idiot, I know there's more on your mind than just the stupid expedition, Y/n," he said quietly, a stern tone to his voice despite being calmer than usual. You hesitated before looking away, rubbing your face as you tried to gather your thoughts. Unlike usual, you had no idea what had you so on-edge, and you couldn't explain it to Levi if you tried. "And if you don't want to tell me, then that's fine. But you really need to sleep, because I don't want my next dead recruit to be you."

That was it. That was what was on your mind.

You'd never really gotten over your feelings for Levi; you'd just pushed them to the back of your mind until you hopefully forgot about it, but it was impossible. Every time you were in his room, every time you even spoke to him, and every time he looked out for you just deepened your feelings, and it stressed you out. You didn't want to love someone, especially while the two of you were in the Survey Corps. And the fact he made sure you weren't at the risk of dying, more than he looked out for the other Cadets and Soldiers, showed he felt the same. A small smile appeared on your face.

The world was cruel. Too cruel.

"Well then, goodnight, Levi," you said softly, reaching your hand up as you brushed his hair out of his eyes as he'd done to you just a minute ago. You then lifted your legs up and tucked them under the duvet before closing your eyes. You knew Levi was confused, but it was better for him to be like that than to be crushed with you admitting your feelings all over again. "I'll maybe tell you soon, I dunno. But for now, I'm gonna get some sleep. Feel free to join me!"

You heard Levi 'tch' under his breath with a small sound of amusement before he walked back to the sofa. He also mumbled something inaudible to you, but you didn't really care.

Although you couldn't do anything about it, you were glad you'd finally come to terms with your worries.

If only Levi could too.

#levi ackerman #levi x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #angst #fanfiction #one-shot #levi one-shot #fluff and angst

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

Text

April Contest Submission #22: Lake Town Sunrise

Words: ca. 3,800 Setting: modern Lemon: no CW: loneliness, moving, high schoolers, mild angst, language

If anyone had asked Anna what she felt about moving halfway across the country to a tiny place called Lake Town during the fourth month of her senior year, well — she would have lied and said she didn’t mind at all. But no one had, so she didn’t have to lie to anyone. Not even herself. And she hated the move.

Anna had no choice in the matter but the seventeen year-old felt like she had no right to complain to her beloved grandfather, who had sacrificed his entire retirement life to raise her from an infant. If he wanted to move, there should be nothing holding him back. But Anna had to admit she wished he’d waited a few more months. Just a few more months and Anna would graduate and be out of his hair. On her own.

Until then, Anna was adjusting to an entirely new life in a new place with new people and new schoolwork. The piles of catch-up homework were her worst nightmare. She didn’t like to have bad grades so she was devoting all of her energy to her classes in an effort not to disappoint herself. As a result, she hadn’t had the time or energy to make a single friend from November to March, and as a social person, the loss of friendship was starting to drive her crazy. Nobody back home even returned her texts anymore; they’d completely moved on and Anna was stuck by herself in a town with only a lake she had yet to even visit, just trying to keep her head above water.

Just because she hadn’t made any friends, however, didn’t mean she hadn’t picked out a couple people from her classes she’d love to be friends with. One girl stood out to her in particular. She was in Anna’s writing class and they often paired up when the teacher required it. Her name was Elsa and she had the prettiest long white-blonde hair Anna had ever seen; usually worn in a braid or a ponytail. Every once in a while she let it loose in gentle waves; those were Anna’s favorite days.

Elsa was a quiet student, never talking with anyone around her. Anna noticed she usually had a sketchbook open and a pencil rhythmically scratching away. She’d give anything to know what Elsa was always drawing, but she couldn’t stare too long or the blonde would eventually glance up and catch her eye, causing them both to look away quickly, blushing.

Yesterday Elsa hadn’t come to school and Anna had found herself rather disappointed. She always looked forward to English class but without the other girl to pay attention to, Anna had stared at the clock, willing the hands to move faster. Was Elsa the only reason she enjoyed this class? They had barely had a complete conversation beyond relevant English topics. Still, Anna found herself begging the fates to let her see that sketchbook when she walked through the door to room 37b today.

A sigh of relief escaped her lungs when Anna rounded the corner and saw Elsa at the desk beside hers, legs crossed, focused entirely on the pencil meeting her paper. Anna approached; Elsa looked up and smiled when she saw who was there.

“Hi, Anna!”

“Hey,” she smiled back. “I missed you yesterday.”

“Oh yeah,” blonde eyebrows softened, “My grandma was a bit under the weather so I had to stay home and take care of her.”

“You live with your grandma?” Anna asked, pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, it’s just the two of us.”

“Me too,” Anna encouraged, “but with my grandfather.”

“Oh wow! I don’t think I’ve met anyone else here in the same boat.” Elsa closed her sketchbook as Anna took a seat.

“It’s definitely a unique experience,” Anna laughed. She watched the fluorescent lights glimmer in Elsa’s eyes when she nodded in response.

Anna’s heart raced quietly while she pulled out her English notebook and folder. There were still a few minutes left before class began. Maybe she could think of something else to say before the chance was gone. But it was Elsa who took another stab at conversation first.

“What are you doing for spring break?” Elsa asked.

“Oh!” Anna smiled, excited. “Ever since moving here in the winter I’ve been drowning in either snow or catch-up homework, so I’m finally gonna take a break in the nice weather and see what this famous lake is all about! I’ve never even gotten…” she trailed off at the sight of Elsa’s grimace. “What?”

“Sorry,” Elsa said, “it’s just - you don’t want to be anywhere near the lake during spring break.”

“I mean I know it’s gonna be crowded—”

“You don’t understand. That lake is the only interesting thing in a 200 mile radius. Everybody in the entire state who can’t afford a real vacation will be swarming the town - especially the lake. All fucking week.”

“Oh.” Anna sighed, crestfallen. She had hoped to spend some time with her new classmates at the lake; they were still strangers to her after all this time. She had thought maybe she’d even make a friend there. But not now. “Wait, where does everybody go then? If the whole town gets taken over?”

“Well, some have to stick around to run the shops and everything, but most everybody scatters off to vacations of their own.” Elsa explained.

“And what about you?”

“My grandma doesn’t go anywhere. I’ll be around.”

Class started abruptly and the conversation was cut off. Anna didn’t hear a word of the lecture, as her thoughts swirled around her head. Thoughts of the forbidden lake, of people who got to experience “real” vacations, but mostly of Elsa. Elsa had talked to her for so long today - and seemed to enjoy it! Anna felt light and airy, like something was trying to lift her heart right out of her chest. Was this what it felt like, to be on the verge of friendship? Anna hadn’t even experienced these butterflies the entire time she dated Kristoff back home.

Wait. Did she have feeling-feelings for Elsa? Was that - was that allowed? Would Elsa ever —

The bell rang.

Everybody scrambled to pack their backpacks up, except for Elsa and Anna. Elsa jotted something down on a corner of a page in her sketchbook, then tore it out as Anna watched.

“Here,” Elsa held out the ripped corner. “That’s my address. Meet me there after school today when break starts. I wanna show you something.”

Anna took the paper and watched dumbfounded as Elsa left the classroom. Shaking her head out, she looked at the address. It was a five minute walk from her house.

When she flipped the piece of paper over in her hand, the other side (probably unintentionally) had part of a sketch. It was a person, cut off just below the shoulders. Anna stared in disbelief at her own freckled face smiling up at herself in graphite.

***********************************

Anna ran all the way home, making her 12 minute walk in 8 minutes. She found her grandpa sitting in his chair, working on a puzzle. Huffing and puffing from exertion, Anna made her way through the living room to the hallway, saying, “Hey, Gramps,” as she passed.

“In a hurry, child?” the old man replied, glancing up briefly from his puzzle.

“I made a friend, I’ll explain in a minute!” Anna called out as she jogged farther into the house.

She reached her room and threw her backpack to the ground before stripping off her clothes and staring at her closet, hoping something would jump out at her. Her chest heaved as the cool air helped dry the clammy skin of her torso. What was she supposed to wear to Elsa’s house for the first time, where she was going to quote-unquote ‘show her something?’ Was it something casual, something fancy? After a moment she settled on a cute tie dye t-shirt and black jeans. It was spring break after all, she should be able to wear something comfortable.

Anna glanced at her signature twin braids in the mirror. She pulled the hair ties out and ran her fingers through the locks, letting it fall apart into structured waves. Yep, that’s cute! she thought.

On her way back out through the house, Anna told her grandfather she was going to a new friend’s house, and that he should order a pizza for dinner. He had no complaints, but reminded her to be home by 10. Soon, Anna was out the door, headed in the direction of Elsa’s house.

This time, she walked deliberately slowly. Anna didn’t want to be out of breath when she got to Elsa’s house, nor did she want to get there earlier than Elsa might expect. Anna had rushed herself rather hard ever since that final bell rang, but now as she passed houses she had never seen and heard birds enjoying the spring afternoon, she had a few moments to think about what had happened earlier. Precisely: the conversation, the realization, and the invitation.

Just yesterday she was silently disappointed that Elsa was missing from class, and now they’d had a nice interaction, Anna thought she might have a crush on her, and Elsa invited her over to her house! It was all so sudden and exciting. Confusing, but exciting.

Do I really like her? Anna wondered. Well, comparing her feelings to what she used to feel around Kristoff was pretty telling. She thought Kristoff was cute and nice, and she liked how it made her feel when he told her how much he liked her. But maybe that wasn’t what love feels like. Maybe it’s more like what Elsa makes her feel… comfort, acceptance, longing, excitement. Not to mention how attractive she was, with her gorgeous hair and perfect face and shining blue eyes, bluer than anything Anna had ever seen…

Fuck.

Anna might have a little bit of a crush on Elsa. In fact, it might be huge.

But could Elsa ever feel the same way? They were both girls, so Anna felt it was unlikely Elsa had ever had a similar thought toward Anna. However, Anna felt the piece of paper in her pocket. The one with the drawing on the back. Why did Elsa draw her? Was this the only one and it happened to be on the exact page and corner she tore out? Or did she sketch Anna a lot?… Is that why sometimes when Anna was watching her draw, Elsa would glance up directly at her — because Anna was actually her subject?

She sighed. There was so much to think about all of a sudden. She almost wanted to go back to obsessing over her homework and ignoring everybody. But then she saw a mailbox with Elsa’s address and her heart rate took off. That was a normal reaction, right? Totally, for sure.

Anna wiped her clammy palms off on her jeans and consciously corrected her posture as she approached Elsa’s house. It was painted a nice sky blue, with navy shutters. There was an old car in the driveway, which disappeared past the other side of the building. In the front yard was a big pine tree looming over the house, at least three times as tall. As she approached, Anna noticed Elsa sitting at the base of the pine tree, under its canopy created by trimming the lowest branches. She waved from her shady spot when she noticed Anna.

“Hey!” Elsa called out. “You came!”

Anna jogged the last few steps and ducked under the branches to join Elsa’s shady dwelling. “Of course I came!” She grinned widely and plopped down across from the blonde, folding her legs into a criss-cross style. “This tree is amazing,” she remarked, looking up through its branches, barely able to see the bright sky filtering through them.

“Thanks,” Elsa patted the trunk she was leaning her back against, “she’s a good one. Great for quiet afternoons. But this isn’t what I wanted to show you.” She stood up, grabbing her sketchbook and brushing off her pants. “Follow me?”

We made our way across the lawn, past the car, and followed the driveway around the side of Elsa’s house. The drive stretched back past half of the small backyard, all the way to a strangely tall garage. It was wide enough for one car but was more like two-stories tall. Maybe a past owner had it built especially for a big vehicle or boat.

We stopped at the regular service door beside the big garage door and Elsa grabbed the handle, her fingers lightly trembling as they reached out. She was nervous to show Anna whatever was inside. Anna was racking her brain trying to guess what it could be. A boat for the lake they can’t go to? A weirdly tall truck? A collection of four wheelers? A quiet place perfect to trick Anna into a serial killer’s lair? No, of course not that one, jeez.

The door opened, the lights flicked on.

Anna’s jaw dropped.

She was wrong about everything.

Inside the garage, the entire space was transformed into a secret hideout of some kind. It like walking into a crazy treehouse but within the walls of a garage. There was a structure made out of lumber, expertly crafted together to form multiple separate areas as well as an elaborate winding staircase/ramp combo that wrapped around the walls, leading up to a partial upper level. All of the woodwork was bright blue with handpainted details which gave it all a realistic ice effect. Where the ceiling was visible there were tinted skylights letting in natural light, bathing everything in a blue glow.

To furnish the hangout, Elsa had a desk she clearly used for homework and art, a futon, multiple bean bag chairs, and who knows what else on the upper level. Anna reached out and laid a hand on Elsa’s arm. “This…” she shook her head out in disbelief. “This is not what I was expecting you to show me - but it’s incredible!”

“Thank you,” Elsa blushed slightly as she dipped her head down in gratitude.

“How did you do this? You made it all yourself?” Anna asked, touching the glossy surface of the painted wood beam closest to her.

Elsa scratched her neck, “Well, when I was little I always dreamed of having an ice palace, a place to get away from my daily life. I love my grandmother but sometimes I just needed to be a kid. As soon as we learned shop in middle school, I knew what I had to do. I asked permission to upgrade the garage and beyond that, my grandma doesn’t know or care what I do out here. She’s never seen it.” Elsa laughed. “So I’ve just been creating this space for myself over the years. I finally finished it last year with the paint job and everything. Oh, and I made the skylights myself by cutting holes through the roof and installing windows, weatherproofing the cracks. That was the hardest part of the whole garage.”

Anna smiled in disbelief. This quiet girl had a whole universe of creativity inside her head, and when the subject was something she was passionate about, she wasn’t quiet at all! Anna had never really been friends with an introvert, and apparently she had been missing out big time.

“You are…. so cool,” Anna finally said. “This is amazing!” She spun around, walking farther into the ice palace, looking up as the homemade skylights twisted in circles. After a minute, she got too dizzy and fell, landing on a beanbag with a thwump.

Elsa laughed and joined her on the nearest beanbag. “You really think so?”

“Of course!” Anna said.

“You’re the only person who I’ve ever invited here. The only one who’s ever seen it.”

“Wait, what?” Anna’s thoughts halted. “How is that possible?”

Elsa rubbed her arm anxiously, “Well, I… I don’t really have many friends. Or any friends, really. This place is my safe space, where I can get away from the world and truly be myself. Here I can read and create and relax, and nobody is here to judge me. I’ve never minded being alone.”

“So,” Anna tilted her head, trying not to come off as rude. “Then why did you invite me?”

Elsa’s cheeks bloomed with pink. “You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to invite.”

Anna’s expression softened as Elsa continued, “I feel safe around you. Even though we didn’t talk much before today, I’ve wanted to get to know you ever since you first walked into my English class.”

Anna’s heart soared. “I’ve felt the same way about you. I lost all my friends when I moved… and as an extrovert, I struggled with that a lot. But I had so much homework to catch up on, I couldn’t find the time to reach out to anyone here. So instead I cut myself off from making friends and buried myself in class work. But the whole time I’ve lived here, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to you. I wished and wished and wished that you would be my friend, but it felt like I waited too long and I’d be stuck alone for the rest of high school.”

Elsa held her hand out for Anna to take. It felt so smooth against Anna’s palm, she never would’ve believed the hard work these hands had been through if she didn’t see it with her own eyes.

“Well I think it’s safe to say we’re friends now,” Elsa said.

“Absolutely,” Anna agreed. “Good luck getting rid of me at this point!”

*******************************

A couple of hours passed before Anna even checked the time. “I should probably be getting home,” she sighed. “Could we do this again tomorrow?”

Elsa nodded enthusiastically. “I’d like that. And actually, I was wrong before, about the lake. Everybody else’s spring break doesn’t start until Monday so the droves won’t be hitting town until tomorrow night. The lake would be pretty deserted if we got there really early.”

“Yes!” Anna made a fist.

“I mean like sunrise-early.”

“Yikes. Okay. No problem!” Anna wasn’t a morning person, especially when she had the choice to sleep in, but this was a great exception.

A sunrise on the lake with her new favorite person? Sounded like a dream come true!

Anna didn’t even dream that night. She woke a minute before her 3:30 alarm and sprang out of bed. Flipping on lamps here and there, she went to the kitchen to prepare some food. She made an egg scramble which her grandpa could reheat when he woke up, and then she made more sandwiches than she’d ever made at one time, leaving two in the fridge for his lunch, and taking the rest with her to share with Elsa later.

When her lunch pack was filled with ice and sandwiches, Anna went back to her room to write a note for her grandpa and change into her swimsuit. She didn’t know if there would be any getting in the water at this lake on an early spring morning, but she was ready just in case. Then she put a light green t-shirt on over the swimwear, along with dark blue jogging pants and a black and white tie dye hoodie. She probably clashed but Anna preferred to wear lots of different colors, not caring if they went well together.

A bit of a long walk later, and Anna arrived at the street corner Elsa told her about. It was right at the lake. Anna set her lunch bag on the pavement and leaned against the street lamp pole. She felt in her pocket for that ripped piece of sketchbook paper, gently running her fingers over its edges. Before long, Elsa approached in the dim lamp light.

“Good morning,” Elsa said in a quiet voice. The way it sounded so …intimate made Anna’s stomach butterflies go for a loop.

“Morning, Elsa.” Anna smiled, picking up her bag. Elsa led the way toward the lake where they found an empty pier. They walked all the way to the end and sat on the edge, dangling their legs over the dark lake. It was about a ten foot drop beneath their feet to the surface of the water, where it gently rippled just for them.

They sat quietly in the darkness until the faintest tinge of light started appearing along the horizon. It was a gentle pale blue, barely discernible from the rest of the sky at first. Slowly, it gained more light, moment by moment. Soon the light blue was joined by pale yellow, then peach. When a brilliant pink appeared on wispy clouds, Anna couldn’t help but feel it was a metaphor for how quickly and beautifully her friendship with Elsa had bloomed.

Her feelings for Elsa developed like a brightening dawn.

It was light enough now to see each other if either girl dared to turn. Anna felt for the paper in her pocket and slowly pulled it out.

“Elsa?”

“Hmm?” Elsa answered, still staring at the pink clouds, now turning orange.

“Do you draw everyone in class?”

“What do you mean?” Elsa asked.

“When you’re sketching in your notebook, do you draw our classmates? Or anyone in particular?” Anna’s heart was beating so loud she was sure Elsa could hear it.

“Oh. Um,” Elsa hesitated. “I don’t draw a lot of different people. Only the ones who mean something to me.” She glanced sideways at Anna. “Why?”

“This piece of paper you wrote your address on…” Anna held it in her hand. Elsa’s head turned to look. “I couldn’t help but notice this drawing on the back. You probably didn’t mean—”

Elsa swiftly took the paper from Anna’s fingertips and gasped when she saw the sketch. “Anna, I can explain.”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Anna placed a calming hand on Elsa’s. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“I don’t?” Elsa asked, her face visibly red even in the low light.

“No.” Anna said. “I was just making sure I understood how you felt, before…” she trailed off.

“Before?”

Anna reached up and touched Elsa’s chin with her thumb and first finger. She gently tilted Elsa’s head as her eyes asked an important question. Elsa’s breath shook as she nodded slightly. Anna leaned in sweetly, but with purpose, as she let her lips softly brush against Elsa’s. They both let out a nervous breath before closing in again. This time, Anna could really feel the connection between their lips. Anna’s eyes fluttered closed.

She no longer needed to see the picture perfect sunrise, for the colors bursting in her heart and behind her eyelids were even more beautiful.

#elsanna #submission #April 2021 contest #prompt: break

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padawan-jiejie · 4 years

Text

Almost *TRoS SPOILERS*

Summary: Let’s just pretend that Reylo isn’t happening (sorry Rey, I ship you two but hey, for the sake of my emotions, leave for a sec, pls, thanx) and here you are getting lectures from Kylo only to fall in love with him and the ending takes place after The Rise of Skywalker where the bad shit magically handled itself and our fav depressed boy is coming back home...

Word Count: 2804

Pairing: Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x force-sensitive!reader

Warnings: !MyEnglish!, some angst towards the end, one swear word, me describing the Force + TRoS SPOILERS

A/N: I need a way to cope with my feels right now because I... No... Just... No... I can’t... I don’t manage... Not yet... Not now... Not ever... 💔💔💔 Also, I wrote this instead of sleep so... Might contain a lot of mistakes and inconsistencies... And it’s longer than planned so... Enjoy

You didn’t know what it was or how it was possible but ever since you could remember, it was there. This... feeling. No, not a feeling. Instinct? Sixth sense? Possibly. But not quite. Once you turned 19 it all started to make sense to you. You told your dad to leave you alone after an argument and he did so without any questions. The other day you wanted your friend to tell you what was happening that she’s so upset about and she explained everything even though normally it took a lot of effort to make her speak. Very unusual. You needed to reach for a book high on the shelf and it moved just for you to grab it. Once you were walking down the street and you saw kids playing. One of them sat down after a while to catch his breath and some other older boy was about to throw a ball at him with more strength then the sitting child could have handled. You immediately acted and pulled up your arm. You somehow managed for the ball to fly right above the boy’s head. It didn’t touch him although it was more than obvious it was supposed to end up in his face. These incidents began to be more and more frequent and your suspicion proved to be correct. You were indeed force-sensitive. You didn’t tell anyone though. You were a bit afraid of what the people in your environment would think and considering you didn’t really want to be part of the Jedi, you kept it secret. At least you tried your best. Until he came into your life.

You didn’t care how old you were, you stilled loved climbing trees and since you found a way of using some certain extent of the Force, you could climb higher and easier than ever. You enjoyed it. That day was no different. You came about your daily routine, helped your mom cook the dinner, studied for a bit and at the sunset, you went into your family backyard. As you were walking further from the house, taking in the scent of your favourite flowers, you sensed something. You could not quite put a finger on it and could not decide if it was good or bad. It intrigued you so you followed the feeling. That was when you saw him. A dark figure was standing in the shadows and you knew. It was him, this new mesmerizing notion you were experiencing.

You stopped in your trucks, looking him up and down. He was wearing a mask that would scare you if you wouldn’t feel him. He seemed dangerous if provoked but apart from that, there was something gentle about him.

You swallowed, took a deep breath and spoke up: “May I help you?”

There was nothing for a minute. No motion. No words. Then he stepped closer to you, revealing his whole posture.

“What is your name and how long have you been using the Force?” he asked with an unnaturally deep voice. This must have been Kylo Ren. Suddenly a wave of fear washed over you, but you tried to shake it away.

“Oh my... I... I’ve known about it for a while now and my name is Y/N.”

For a spare second, you were thinking, he was going to kill you, but then again, you didn’t sense anything. His demeanour and reputation sure were terrifying but he wasn’t intending on hurting you. If he did, he would have surprised you and wouldn’t wait for you to notice him. You knew that so you tried to stay calm, waiting for him to make a move. And he did.

He removed his mask.

You just started in shock.

“I could show you the ways of the Force, Y/N.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Are you certain it’s not just what you want to believe in?”

“I am not. But I don’t need to be. You are a Sith. Why would I want to be a part of the Dark side?”

“I didn’t say I’d help you to become one of the Sith.”

You blinked. “What are you suggesting then?”

“You are very powerful. I can feel it. The fact that you’re using the Force powers without any sort of training is only a proof of that.” He was circling around you. “I don’t want you to be with the Sith. I don’t want to mentor you about what side of the Force to belong to. I just want to help you embrace it. The Force I mean, without prejudice.”

“I must admit, it sounds... interesting. But why? Why would you want to train me when I’m sure you have other more important things to do? Why me?”

Kylo stood right in front of you, looking straight into your eyes. Your gaze didn’t shift from his. That impressed him. “I do. But it doesn’t happen every day to find a case such as yours and I would like to make the most of it, not waste it.”

You nodded considering your options. There he was, the infamous Kylo Ren, offering you his guidance. He was genuine about it and although you hated to admit it, he was pretty handsome. Those were all pros of signing up for the deal but there were lots of cons.

“What would I need to do? I mean, what about my family? They don’t know I am force-sensitive and I don’t want them to know.” Especially not now when one of the most threatening people in the galaxy is involved. “And I am not faking my death nor am I leaving anywhere.”

“You don’t need to. It’ll be complicated but I can still teach you like this. I can come once in a while and let you practise on your own. I believe you’ll be a natural. As long as you stick to some rules.”

“When do we start?” came out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

Kylo would come to you, stay for some time to show you Force tricks, see what progress you’ve achieved, talk to you about it, test you in some things and leave. At first, his visits were completely formal. He would rarely let you see his face, would never speak to you about himself and always kept you at distance. Both physically and mentally. But soon he would start to stay longer, talk more and reveal his face. It didn’t take long for him to be friendly with you to a point where you two would just lie down and watch stars together. You shared many theoretical and philosophical conversations and really got to know each other. Suddenly he wasn’t terrifying at all. It was no surprise when you began to develop feelings for him. At first, it started out as a crush you thought would fade. You thought it was a bit childish to feel this way about him so you pushed it aside as much as you could. But it all only escalated. The more time you spend with him, the more you wanted to see him, the more you wished for him to be there with you, the more you smiled around him and the more your feelings grew. You were not aware of it but Kylo felt similar. He found you extremely beautiful and attractive. You never failed to light up his day. You were a promising student and you didn’t let others define you. He admired that since he struggled with this and you always showed to him that all he needs to be is himself. That he is enough. You were smart, kind, compassionate and brave. You were a good person and a true friend. If only you knew, you meant so much more to him! He tried to suppress what he was feeling, but he couldn't. Therefore after one of your sessions, as you were stargazing he turned to face you.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Kylo.”

“I need you to know something.”

That caught your attention. He seemed so vulnerable at that moment. “I’m listening. What is it?”

“Two things actually.”

You frowned but let him speak.

“My real name is not Kylo, but I guess you've figured that out.”

“I thought there was something just not quite right about it.”

“My real name is Ben. Ben Solo.”

“Ben? Hmm... Should I start calling you that?”

“If you want to.”

“I think I do. I kind of like it.”

He gave you a warm smile that could melt your heart in a second.

“And um, what was the other thing?”

“Well... I... just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you as a person and I need to tell you that... You mean so much to me, I don’t think you can imagine just how much.”

You were biting on your lower lip. Your heart was beating fast as you patiently waited for him to continue. Could he feel the same way about you as you did for him?

“I did not want to for us to become close but we did and I am glad. I also never thought that I would... that I would feel about someone the way that I feel about you. And... I don’t want to change it. Actually, I really really like you and not just as a friend.”

You blushed and didn’t know how to react so you just laughed nervously. “That’s funny. I... I mean that... You know... Haha... I’ve been falling for you for some time now so I think this is good news.”

Before you had any time to note what was happening his lips were on yours, your hands in his hair and you were passionately kissing under the stars that witnessed the beginning of your romance.

It’s been a couple of years since you first met Ben. You started out as strangers and ended up being lovers. Lately, you were, unfortunately, going through a little bit of a relationship crisis. Snoke was out of the picture but there was still the “Rey thing” waiting for it to be done and Ben would never take you with him anywhere and that was frustrating. You were realising what was at risk, you knew why he was doing what he was doing but you couldn’t help but want to be there with him. It was difficult and he wouldn’t listen to you.

So here you were. Sitting under an old tree, horrified, because you could feel it. There was a disturbance in the Force. It was strong and you didn’t like it. Something was terribly wrong and it was irritating you. It was so bad that you even yelled at your parents for no apparent reason this morning because you couldn’t just tell them: “Hey I am dating Kylo Ren and I am Force-sensitive all along and I feel as if I was about to lose the love of my life any moment so would you please stop asking what has gone into me” when all of this was kept a secret from them. You knew you’ll have to tell them one day but not now. Not when you couldn’t even focus on simple tasks, because all you wanted and all you needed was for Ben to come back to you. You needed to know was that he was safe and sound. This uncertainty was killing you.

Then you felt it. One second there was this tension and the other... It was all gone. Totally. Nothing. Blank.

You put your face in your hands and started crying. What was this all about? Did something happen to him? It must have...

The next couple of days you weren’t able to think straight. All you could think about was your Ben Solo. Where was he? What was the Force trying to tell you? How come this was even allowed?! It’s not like you didn’t have a life outside of your relationship with him - it was nearly impossible given that you two were a secret - but it wasn’t the same when you didn’t know what happened.

Your best friend took you out for shopping wishing that it would make you feel better but she had no idea what was actually keeping you from being your normal self.

“Okay so is this about a boy?”

“What makes you think so?”

“You weren’t with anyone as far as I know so I’m guessing that someone you were in love with didn’t want you back and now they’re with someone and you don’t want to accept that.”

“Ph... If only!”

“What is it then?” she put one arm around you.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not? I am your best friend. You can trust me. You know that.”

“I do but this is something I have to process on my own.”

“Well, if you ever need me, I am here.”

“Thank you.”

She wasn’t far from the truth and although not there yet, it still was nice to be at least a little validated. You still had someone really close. You desperately wanted to tell her everything and cry on her shoulder but you knew it was better this way. For now. You had to stay put until you’ll figure out what happened to your loved one. Little did you know all would be revealed soon.

For whatever reason, you’ve woken up that day and had the urge to visit the lonely and familiar places of the gardens in your backyard. You missed Solo dearly and thought that this could get you closer to him as you still had no answers.

Slowly, like a body without a soul, you walked to your and Ben’s favourite spot. The small field where you used to watch stars. You found it there when he was Kylo, not Ben yet. It made memories rise up to the surface.

Your body collapsed to the ground. You sighed, ready to start crying any minute when it hit you. This strong feeling. It was like a message. As if the Force was calling to you. You couldn’t believe it. There was nothing for weeks and now... It was stronger than before. You sensed him. It felt like Ben right here, right now.

You looked up and it was like a fairy tale. He was there. Ben Solo was there, walking towards you. Tears of happiness rolled down your face as you got up and ran to him. He started to run in your direction too, glad to see you after all. You collided, hugging each other in a tight embrace. Ben spun you around, put you down and kissed you deeply. You were kissing him back like you never did before and like there was no tomorrow. It was such a relief seeing him, touching him and knowing he’s okay.

“I love you so much, Y/N. I am so sorry for everything. But I am here now. Don’t cry, please, my love, it’s alright now.”

“I thought I lost you...” you said silently, unable to cope.

“You almost did but it doesn’t matter. I am alive.”

“Almost? W-wh-what happened?”

“I was technically dead but I’m not anymore and I will stay with you now. Forever. I’m not going away. I’ll give you all of the time you deserve and I couldn’t give you before.“ he whipped away your tears and lower his forehead to yours. He meant it. He just wanted nothing more but to be with you.

“You were technically dead? What? Ben, you bastard! What were you thinking?! I... I love you, please, don’t do this to me! Ever!”

“Please, forgive me.”

“I already did, but don’t you dare to scare me like this again!”

“I’ll do my best, sweetheart.”

“Yes, you will, you little stupid, urgh!” you slightly punched his arm. He pulled you closer to him, not bothered by your actions, and you cried into his chest. You were incredibly happy you could embrace him again and let him comfort you.

You almost lost him. Almost. But not quite. He came back. He came back to you. He was here. He was here with you and for you. And he would stay this time. He was never going to leave. He was ready to love and cherish you until his last breath. After everything that he’s been through, he finally realised that the most important thing in his life was you and your love. He didn’t need anything else and he wasn’t going to risk it no more. He was yours and you were his and that is all the matters.

Almost... There’s going to be probably a lot of explaining to your family members about how this whole love came to be but those are only details! Let’s not ruin the bigger picture, shall we?

We shall.

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imlostinsantacarla · 4 years

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anon: Dampyr thing for all of them please. If it's not too much trouble? You can write it however you want. Either preferences/would include or whatever is fine by me. Sorry for late reply. Dampyr is from old balkan folklore. My grandma from Serbia used to tell me the stories. It was long time ago so I'm kinda rusty on the details. Basicly, they are half-vampires. They weren't turned, but born that way from human mom and vamp dad. Unlike other half-vamps they look like human but age extremly slow and heal faster. They can't be hypnotized(sorry David your little noodle trick won't work) and their blood is leathal for vampires. They can drink vampire blood and absorb their knowledge.

(a/n: to the anon that requested this! i’m sorry that it’s taken so long to post this and i’m also so sorry that i lost your original request. i’ve worked so hard on this and it took me even longer to complete only bc when i was editing the draft of this piece tumblr didn’t save it so all of my previous hard work was gone. i hope you enjoy these! thanks so much for requesting! - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Lost Boys Dating a Damphyr!Reader Headcanons:

David:

° David is quite the nonchalant lad of the bunch, however, even he has difficulty in denying the fact that you intrigue him exponentially. So, it’s safe to assume that this Lost Boy is littered with curiosity over your skills and abilities.

° One thing that David prides himself immensely on is his knack for compulsion. It’s always been his forte, even in the early days of being an immortal being of the night.

° He also made you very aware with how displeased he was when he found out that mental tricks did not work on you. He moped about for a solid week and a half because compulsion is one of the few things in his existence that quenches his constant boredom. Taking that away from him throws everything off balance in his books.

° My boii sincerely attempted to play mind tricks on you from the very start and you certainly were having none of it. But then again, David should be ecstatic because this means that mentally you are in little danger to the tricks and trades of mental attacks.

° It also caused him to begin to ponder about what really was going through your mind most of the time. It almost gave you an air of mystery which he honestly preferred. It made you more challenging to read and less likely to submit. David is always up for a challenge after all.

° David will not lie either, he finds it intensely attractive when you drink from him. He get’s drunk off of the euphoria, your lips pressed to his wrist... The sight is enough to turn him on. I also imagine that vampires (particularly mates) drinking each other’s blood is rather intimate, and by allowing you to drink from him, it shows a more vulnerable side to David. It shows that he trusts you with his life. After all, you are more than capable of sucking him dry if you allowed your impulses to cloud your vision.

° In the heat of the moment, David’s logic is thrown behind a mist of lust and desire. He get’s quite carried away and soon you find his teeth nipping at your neck whilst you straddle him, his fangs pinching the delicate skin wondrously. Your heart flutters it’s blood beneath the surface. If he just sinks his teeth into you he’ll-

° This is where you pull back, breaking all contact and denying him everything that he wants. With a huffing sigh he flops back into the dusty old couch that is situated in the cave, blue eyes pulsing electric. How could you deny him this?

° You mumble a soft reminder, eyes not meeting his piercing gaze. He isn’t able to drink your blood because if he does, he would be no more. This is something that almost enrages him. Why did his mate have to have such an immense drawback? You’ve totally thrown the balance out of his desires.

° “Well, sunshine, aren’t you a little bit morbid.” Acrimony darts from his mouth, followed by a whirl of cigarette smoke. He tilts his head back, bleach blonde hair in disarray from your previous fiasco. His large calloused hands grasp your waist, pulling you closer to his being. He was taunting you. Taunting you for refusing him what he wanted.

° “I won’t be morbid when you’re foaming at the mouth.” You tilt your head to the side, eyes finding his oceanic ones. You were now challenging him, reminding him of what could happen if he allowed himself to grow careless with you. You only meant it well, but David never enjoyed being told what to do.

° “Yeah, yeah, point taken, princess.” He simpers up at you, that smoke wedged between his kissable lips. You pluck it from his mouth and stub the damn thing out before capturing his lips with yours with a hungry fire only he created in you. You had no problem with allowing him to get lost in you once more, only for you to playfully deny him his greatest wish. This was always about control... and you were the one in charge.

° Initially David mocks you about this. Why are you denying him? Are you worried for his safety? Please! He can handle himself, darling.

° But nevertheless, he’s not actually dumb enough to risk it... just in case.

° And it isn’t until one particular night that you miraculously managed to get out of both eye and ear shot from David. Another vampire had unwisely entered Santa Carla and attacked you. David had managed to get there just in time to witness the vampire drinking from you, along with the treacherous torture the vampire ensued as a result of it’s own foolish mistake.

° You healed rather quickly and effortlessly from it, yet you remained seated on the floor, panting wildly. Terror fluctuated through your body, your limbs vibrated in anxiety. It took a few moments for you to soothe yourself. What helped you calm down was discussing why that vampire was dead. You see, the rate in which a vampire dies after consuming your blood matters greatly on the amount it has taken in. If it has drank more then it will die quicker and with less in it’s system it will die slowly. Both ways are excruciating.

° And for the first time in his entire immortal existence, David experienced the heebie jeebies. He hadn’t even had time to pull the vampire from you prior to it dying on the spot. The memories were a vivid ordeal that continued to play behind his eyes.

° But was he scared out of his mind? Well, Paul definitely thought so!

° “Well, I guess you weren’t fooling around with the lethal part, princess.” David wedged a smoke between his lips and lit it, the glowing amber in the dark alleyway the only light. The way David had uttered the statement seemed almost mocking. Just like him. You knew he was only covering up the cluster of emotions underneath the surface.

° “Yeah, no kidding.” You muttered bitterly, a roll of your eyes causing your blonde boyfriend to chortle under his breath.

° “And I was also right about something else, y/n. The whole experience is definitely morbid.” He concluded, his gloved palm finding yours in the darkness to hoist you up onto your feet and into his protective embrace. He’d be damned if he allowed anything like this to happen again.

° David is quite known for his protectiveness over the people and things that he holds dearest to him. He also has a possessive streak that is unrivaled by any of the other boys. That vampire attacking you only caused him to hover closer to you when he could, a relaxed arm draped over your shoulders, hands placed firmly on your waist... you name it! There was a primal instinct in him that made him feel slightly perplexed. He wanted you all to himself and he wasn’t going to allow anyone else to take you away from him.

° As stated above, this blonde bad boy is possessive and high-key selfish. He only desires to have your entire attention focused on him. He also feels that it’s his job to keep you safe, but that can be hard when it’s the day time.

° “Well, well, well, how’s my special vampire doing today?” David would smirk in your ear, rough voice husky as he chortled. His teeth scraped tenderly against the shell of your ear, his cool breath fanning against the delicate skin of you neck, eliciting a deep shiver from your being. He was surely satisfied with that.

° “Would you stop calling me that, David? I’m not even a real vampire.” You’d roll your eyes in an exaggerated motion, shaking your head softly whilst you attempted to mask the smile that began to spread across your countenance.

° “Not until hell freezes over, dear.” He’d grin triumphantly in your ear.

° “Urgh!”

° At times David will attempt to still perform compulsion on you which he only does to get under your skin. As a result, all it really does is cause you and the boys to fall into bouts of intense laughter.

° “You sure it doesn’t work, love?”

° “Yeah, I think with hundreds of failed attempts you’d have realized that for yourself, babe.”

° “Alright, if you say so.”

° It’s also a known fact that David has no regard for human life whatsoever, and along with Paul, he really isn’t overwhelmed with joy when you sustain yourself on human food. Since you were brought up to be human, it’s quite difficult for you to let go of your human moral compass. The human part of you tells you not to harm humans. But David also see’s that as a challenge.

° David really wants you to feed from humans because logically vampires are far stronger when they do. So that obviously applies to your kind, right? Well, not so much. See, a full vampire needs to hunt and feed every night to curb the intense thirst that they feel. You do not. You’re able to go with longer periods of time without blood and sustain yourself of human food, even if it makes you less strong. So it takes a little while for David to realize that. It also takes him some time to understand that your ability to blend in as a human makes it particularly difficult for hunters to figure out what you are. Very smart.

° Going on hunts with David are bonding experiences. Before him you hadn’t ever hunted. You had stolen blood bags from the hospitals and blood drives, which had quenched your craving for it. So to begin with you were very awkward when feeding. David needed to show you the ropes, had to teach you to relax and let your instincts kick in.

° Although you are a half vampire, you are very different from Star, Laddie and Michael. You were born one, which actually sets you apart from the other non-born vampires. Like you are capable of walking in the sun without it making you feel weary and exhausted (this is due to you having been exposed to it your entire life, which almost created some form of immunity to it because your mother shunned the other part of you, conditioning you to be more human than vampire).

° To find out that absorb his knowledge when you feed from him makes him very intrigued to say the least. As David is possessive, he won’t allow you to feed from any other vampire. He’s caught off guard when you tell him about memories, etc. that you have absorbed from him.

° As pay back for all the mocking he does to you, you’re kind of an ass about it all. You tend to bust out terribly embarrassing memories from long ago that the boys never let him live down. Now that they’ve resurfaced, David isn’t too keen about it. Cue him then being a grumbling and pouting mess about it for awhile after. I mean, you basically roasted him in front of his boys so of course he’s feeling sensitive afterwards. But that sorta stuff doesn’t go unpunished, my lovely.

° It’s definitely a given that David would halt any and all of the rude things the other boys may say about you. He won’t tolerate any of it. Not even a funny look will be cast upon you.

° You have to understand though that things have been challenging with Star, especially since she rejected their life style. The boys find it hard to trust newcomers because of that but also due to their pasts as humans. But with that said, he’ll still harmlessly tease you. Harmless teasing from the boys is also alright. Though as soon as it begins to upset you, that’s when he’ll shut it down instantaneously.

° David is also certainly watchful over you when hunters are around. Those are the moments in which he will not allow you to leave the cave in the day time. If you’re going out, it’ll be at nighttime with him and the boys. His worst nightmare is you dying or getting hurt. He’s literally the most dramatic of the bunch. You sometimes think he’s just being a control freak, but usually something will happen that’ll make you realize that he’s only trying to keep you safe.

° Yes, you may heal quite swiftly, but he’s really certain that you won’t come bounding back from a stake to the heart.

° In the bedroom department, David is very dominant. He’s in charge and despite what others may think he is a rather passionate lover. The fact that you’re a Damphyr allows him to ease up a bit. Since you’re more durable than a human he can ease up and just enjoy the experience. He totally uses his super strength and speed, you don’t complain either.

° David is low-key a nerd and researches the legends and myths of hybrid vampires, Damphyr’s, etc. in every country. Sometimes he’ll put your skills to the test and you bet your backside that he’s all smug about it (especially when you can’t do something). Your mate is kind of an ass not gonna lie.

Dwayne:

° Dwayne’s interest is undeniably peeked when he figures out that you’re a Damphyr. Now there’s even a sliver of something that you both have in common. You’re both vampires, - well you’re half of one -. Sincerely, he finds you so mesmerizing. He’s only ever heard of vague and patchy legends of your kind that are more like myths.

° But hey! It gives him the courage to peek out of his shell a little more and begin talking with you. You both hit it off instantaneously and it all just blossoms from there.

° Although you may heal quite swiftly and possess more strength than a human, Dwayne cannot resist it when his protective and watchful nature kicks in. So you better be prepared for him to still be a meat wall that always slots itself in between you and any possible threat.

° He’s very aware of the fact that you can fend for yourself, he has no doubt in your abilities, I promise you that. Being vigilant of those that he loves is something that comes quite naturally to Dwayne, - he’s even protective of his fellow Lost Boys -. Consider it to be a good thing that he wants to keep you safe.

° He allows you to drink from him whenever you may feel the urge to, but he’s not like David where he’ll hound you about it. Dwayne is rather relaxed and knows you can’t live off of him because A) You’d kill him. And B) You need something else for sustenance too.

° Hunting with Dwayne has now become the normal thing. Primarily it was peculiar for you as you had never fed with another vampire around. You had always kept that to your lonesome. So during your first ten feedings he would accidentally make too hasty of a movement, which would kick start this primal instinct in you to fight him for your meal and territory. But you’re forgetting that Santa Carla is his territory.

° It’s a blessing that Dwayne is so grounded and relaxing, because he was able to defuse the tension and anxiety you felt in those moments. He’d reassure you that he wasn’t there to steal your meals or to harm you. He was doing this to help you for when you hunted with him and the boys. But if it proved far too overwhelming for you, he would give you your space when you hunted because he totally empathized with you.

° Out of all the Lost Boys he is the most chill and relaxed when it comes to you living out more as a human. Dwayne is very appeasing. His energy helps even Paul stay rooted down in the present moment. But that doesn’t stop him from being a wild one! But nevertheless, he’s very tolerant of your human nature coming into play in everyday life. It doesn’t bug him in the slightest.

° In fact, he encourages it! Dwayne doesn’t see the point in trying to get you to suppress a part of you that is totally natural to your being. In all honesty, he thoroughly enjoys the simplicity of sitting on the counter tops in your kitchen and watching you cook yourself a home cooked meal. He’ll even sample some of it and tell you what he thinks. Although he’s really not a fan of when you use garlic!

° So since you’re a born half vampire, Dwayne really does comprehend that you don’t just require or need blood in order to keep yourself and your hunger fulfilled. There’s honestly no pressure on his part for you to have to feed on human blood. You could even drink animal blood and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash!

° Though the more human blood you consume the stronger you are. Yet you’ll never be as strong as a full vampire, and Dwayne totally get’s that.

° Dwayne is the biggest softie known to man because he loves listening to your heartbeat! And in my opinion, I think that it would run a tad bit slower than an actual humans heartbeat. Just the sound of it makes him grin so wide that it’s as though the sun is beaming brightly across his face! Urgh i’m dying!

° This raven haired boy is really known for not taking anyone’s bullshit and when it comes to you? He’s not going to stand for anybody disrespecting you. This is regardless of whether it’s the boys or not and in any context. He will not let anybody push you around.

° And again, within regards to the boys, Dwayne will shut their shit down pronto! Rude comments, nasty looks, you name it! None of it is tolerated in his books.

° And you best believe he’s flattened Paul at least once for saying something dumb about you.

° Much like David, Dwayne wishes to know more about your kind and will secretly research it. He get’s pretty abashed when you know that he does. The boys tease him a lot for it, especially in front of you, but you swear it’s adorable.

° Every once in awhile he will tell you facts he’s read up on or heard about in regards to your kind. He likes it when you debunk whether that’s a myth or not, and there’s even a lot that you still don’t know.

° “Hey, I uh- I heard your kind tend to become hunters of vampires, well, your kind mainly hunts your fathers because your fathers are the vampires.” He’d pipe up from beside you softly, his orbs landing on everything else but you. If he wasn’t dead you swore he would be blushing bright red by now.

° “Where did you learn that?” You’d bat your lashes at him, almost stunned he’d heard about that.

° “Nowhere, just heard it around.” Dwayne would smile softly, his deep eyes peeking at your face as he rubbed the rear of his neck sheepishly.

° “If you’re asking me whether I’m a vampire hunter or not, then fortunately for you the answer is no.” You’d grin up at him. That was a relief for him.

° Since he’s a vampire, Dwayne doesn’t tend to regard human life all that highly because to him and the boys, humans primary source to them is being prey, nothing more. However, since you are part human, he’s more tolerable of humans and their nature, even if it can a little confusing for him to figure out.

° Yes, I’m aware that he too was once human round about 80 years ago, but I like to imagines that as the years have stretched on his human nature has dwindled into nothing. Vampire morals are much different from human morals. He’s also dead and hunters consider him to be soulless now.

° Due to Dwayne’s vigilant nature, he is always apprehensive whenever you do get hurt, - even the thought of you being injured or killed sends him into an internal panic! He knows that you can heal quite impressively, yet it never stops him from experiencing worry over you. He cares about you after all.

° For all he knows, there could be some sort of poison out there that could kill you instantly!

° It’s a scarce occurrence for Dwayne to fill you in on his fears and anxieties (big or small). Dwayne is particularly physically strong and at times he feels like he needs to keep up a guard, like he’s holding all the pieces together. So even though he doesn’t directly tell you these worries, he still feels these said cluster-fuck of emotions. This can be quite challenging for him to digest, so some patience is needed on your behalf.

° Consistently this occurs because you have been though and he requires a lot of comforting from you, along with reassurances that you are alright.

° And afterwards, he is at your side as much as physically possible. It may feel a bit smothering but please do remember that Dwayne once had a brother named Jasper whom he lost a long time ago. You are now one of the only people that he has left that he loves and cares about.

° Compulsion isn’t Dwayne’s forte really; he’s never been good at it anyway. That’s more David’s style and the raven haired vampire is okay with it. However, he is intrigued about it not having an affect on you. He’s a huge advocate for your own free will and would never screw around with it.

° He is also incredibly relieved that hypnotization doesn’t work on you because David can get carried away with those sorts of things. You’re mentally protected which means one less thing for Dwayne to fret over.

° You’ve also got a lot more stamina than the average human (as does Dwayne) so there are plenty more rounds when it comes to the bedroom side of things, which he’s really into. ;)

° Dwayne is a very passionate lover whom enjoys taking his time in worshiping your body. Your added stamina means you can go for hours, which is just the way he prefers things.

° At times he does forget that you are only part vampire until something occurs that reminds him of it.

° He contemplates about the little things that you do when he’s not around or just in general. Do you hanging sleep upside down from the ceiling like him and the boys? Does garlic irritate you as much as it does the full vampires? Do you sleep through the day just like them? It’s honestly seriously adorable.

° Despite having a quiet nature, Dwayne will ask you a lot of questions, though he’s got an incredibly amazing knack for spreading them out so as to not cause you to feel bombarded or overwhelmed by his curiosity.

° Also Dwayne is really a phenomenal listener. He just loves the sound of your voice and could listen to it for hours!

° Dwayne has never seen firsthand what happens to vampires when they drink from your kind and he’s not bagged on the idea on finding out or even daring to try it out for himself. He’s ballsy but not that ballsy! As soon as you told him he took your word for it.

° Genuinely though Dwayne does take a lot of what you say as the truth. You’re the one who’s experiencing it. Every Damphyr is different just like every vampire, werewolf, human, etc.

° You’ve also become apart of the boys family, which surprisingly enough, Max allowed. So all in all, Dwayne is intensely ecstatic that he get’s to spend a lot time with you.

° He is aware that you age far slower than a human which is a relief to him. It’s just a little unknown to either of you on whether you will pass away one day as the legends are all conflicting. Even you are unsure about it. You boy try not to dwell on it all that much because then things become depressing.

° And that’s another worry of his. You dying. He genuinely just wants to spend forever with you. Poor baby.

° Dwayne is literally the best boyfriend ever tbh. My heart m e l t s just thinking about it!

Paul:

° Paul has never shut up once in his whole entire life, so it’s safe to say that he won’t be shutting his mouth when it comes to you either. I mean that in the sense of him inquiring a lot about you. This is totally expected at this point, and in all honesty, half of them don’t even make any sense, - particularly if he’s high or drunk -.

° “So you can run really fast right?”

° “Well, faster than a human.”

° “Does that mean you’re like the flash then, doll?”

° Give the poor boy a break though, he really is trying here!

° And funnily enough, Paul is without a doubt convinced that you’ve got some sort of super power that you’re not showing anyone. You think that this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. But Paul? Nah, he won’t relent until you show him. Even the boys join in on the teasing.

° “I dunno, dollface. I really think you’re hiding something. C’mon! It’s me and the boys. There’re no humans around.” He’d grin that perfect heart melting smirk at you. “We won’t blow her cover will we boys?”

° “He’s right, y/n! We won’t tell anyone.” Marko would call from across the cave, causing you to roll your eyes.

° “The only thing I’m hiding from you guys right now is my fist from your faces!” You’d shout back, attempting to hide the grin spreading across your face. You did a poor job of it.

° “Now you’re definitely hiding something! I can see you grinning like you’re sneaky, babe, but you’re not. I swear, I’m onto you.”

° “Have you been sniffing news print or something?”

° “Awe, c’mon, babe! Just show me already!”

° Although Paul isn’t very gifted in using compulsion, he was one of the few boys that was a bit bummed out when he found out it didn’t work on you. But really he knows it’s a good thing because it leaves you less vulnerable to mental attacks from anyone. That’s one less thing for him to worry about when it comes to your safety.

° Hunting with Paul is a nightly date. In fact, he encourages you to feed because he wants you to be as strong as you possibly can be. He’s just worried about you getting hurt when he isn’t around. It also takes awhile for him to understand that you don’t need so much blood to stay sustained.

° He is also the chillest out of all the boys when it comes to you feeding from other vampires. Sure, he likes it when you feed from him, but he won’t be mad if you have the urge to feed and get your fill from another vampire. That sort of stuff just doesn’t really ruffle Paul’s feathers.

° And besides, that gift can come in handy for him and the boys. You absorb knowledge from other vampires, which means black mail! Every vampire has some sort of dirty laundry or terrible baggage that they don’t want anyone else to know.

° With that said, he really wants you to feed from Max because he’s an asshole and such a terrible ‘father’. Paul really wants to know all the man’s dirty secrets and to use them against him. Which is when David has to step in and remind him that Max is much older and stronger than them all combined and if you did that to him, Max would kill you instantly. But it doesn’t stop him from wanting you to do it.

° He is second on the scale (next to David) when it comes to his displeasure towards your human self. Human life is very boring to him. Yes, he once was a human a long time ago, but he’s been there and done that already. He’s also lost touch with his humanity and it will never return. So, in conclusion to this point, he’s more adamant that you feed from humans instead of gaining sustenance from human food.

° Hunting with you is such a huge turn on for him. Afterwards you should expect without a doubt that he’ll either bring you back to your place, the cave or tuck you into a dark alleyway and have his way with you. Just seeing you drink from people and letting your inner vampire out is genuinely the sexiest thing this boy has ever seen!

° Poor boy tends to forget that he’s a vampire, so the fact that you’re more durable is better because he’d break an actual human in half by accident just by nonchalantly hitting them playfully on the back. He actually did that once and he panicked for a good two minutes. Marko had to help him bury the body.

° “I swear I didn’t mean it, man!”

° “Paul, you literally kill people on a nightly basis. Stop panicking!”

° “Oh yeah.”

° This boy loves to play fight and it’s on a c o n s t a n t basis with you. He doesn’t go easy on you either, he either wins or won’t play fight at all. There’s no in between with this vampire.

° You best believe that Paul has at least attempted to drink your blood once! You certainly did stop him because it’s an obviously big no, no! It’s lethal for his kind to drink your kinds blood, and you love Paul a lot, so you want him to be alive.

° When you reminded him of this predicament he just laughed in your face and said it’d be worth it.

° “C’mon, babe! I let you drink from me...” He’d pout miserably at you, baby blue eyes swelling in size. You hated it when he pulled those puppy dog eyes on you.

° “Do you want to die in the most painful of ways?” You’d arch your brow comically at him with a soft tilt of your head.

° “No, not really.”

° “Then you’re not drinking from me, Paul.” You’d hum softly against his lips, fingers already tangling in his blonde mane.

° And as if on cue, he’s the biggest pouting baby you have ever encountered for the next week or two. Honestly, this boy is so dramatic when he doesn’t get his way! However, you make it up to him by going hunting with him twice in one night. That helps him forget all about not being able to drink from you.

° And then one night down the line he witnesses firsthand what happens to vampires when they drink from you. Let’s just say the poor blonde is totally traumatized from the whole experience. He needed that good green stuff to forget at least a fraction of the agony that other vampire went through.

° “Thank God I had the brains not to feed from you. Jesus, babe! Who knew you were such a savage.” He’d ramble with a cigarette wedged anxiously between his lips.

° “Brains? I literally had to push you off of me, Paul.” You’d grin widely, shaking your head in disbelief.

° “Yeah, yeah!” He’d wave off your comment, taking a deep drag on his smoke. “But did you see the blood come out of his eyes? What a sorry loser!”

° Whenever he’s mad at the other boys he tells them to go drink from you as an insult lmaoo. I’m not even kidding.

° Even though he’s very goofy, Paul is pretty serious about you though. Everything to do with you he’s fascinated about, even if it seems a little weird. It’s just because you make him so happy. Honest, he’s just a big ball of sweetness when it comes to you.

° He’s not a researcher, so why would he start now? He knows that you’ll just tell him what he’s right and wrong about and all the details in between. Sometimes he listens pretty intently, but other times he doesn’t because he becomes distracted by your boobs or starts thinking about how pretty your lips are and how much he really wants to kiss them. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way though, you’re just the biggest distraction for him.

° This guy is a genuine horndog™ and will be on you 25/7. The boy is the most touch orientated fellow out there, it’s honestly unreal! But you don’t complain because you love it when his hands are all over you.

° Still to this day your family doesn’t understand why you moved into the hotel that fell into the caves in the cliffs. Like seriously? That place doesn’t even have a working bathroom! But you moved in anyway, and pretty much you’ve stayed there out of defiance against your family now. None of the boys bring it up any more because you just go off on a tangent about it.

° “Can you turn people into vampires?”

° “Do you feel anything since you ate that piece of garlic bread 3 hours ago?”

° “Do you sleep upside down hanging from your ceiling?”

° “Can you walk in the sun without bursting into flames?”

° “So like when your parents did it, did-”

° “I’m not talking about my parents doing it, Paul.”

° “But babe! It’s for science!”

° Paul is just as goofy with you as he would be with a full vampire or human mate too be honest. Nothing changes in that department.

° High-key thinks you’re a badass and will not shut up about it to the other boys. David has put a ban on any mention of you or your name from Paul when you’re not around. Honestly, it drives David mad!

° Although Paul doesn’t take much seriously, he still freaks out in a pretty gnarly context whenever you do get hurt. Paul is the most emotionally reactive out of the boys (as seen when Marko was killed and he went directly after the Frog Brothers). You can bet your pretty backside that he’s taking anyone down swinging, violently. Definitely violently!

° “Dwayne told me your kind become vampire hunters. Does that mean you’re one?”

° “No, but if Dwayne doesn’t pipe the fuck down about it I will be.”

° That literally made David laugh so hard he had tears streaming down his face. You’re really bold for saying that. Even David wouldn’t have said that about Dwayne with Dwayne literally sitting opposite of him. But you did. So rip to David but you’re different.

° “I hope you live for forever, babe. I don’t think I could live without you.”

° "Awe, Paul!”

Marko:

° Akin to the other boys, Marko is incredibly curious about you. Besides Paul, he is the most intrigued when it comes to you and your abilities. He hasn’t ever met a Damphy in his entire existence and he never knew they existed... until you came stumbling into his life.

° The pair of you feed together whenever you get the chance to. Hunting with the other boys causes you to draw into yourself. It’s an intimate thing for you to share with someone which Marko completely understands. It’s no biggie!

° So you’re a little feeding shy? Marko isn’t bothered by it. He enjoys hunting with you, because a couple that hunts together stays together, am I right?

° Much like David and Paul, Marko just assumes that you’re pulling his leg when you tell him if he feeds from you he’ll die. You have to go into a deeper depiction on how your kind usually hunts vampires (especially your fathers as they are typically the vampires) so your blood is built to be poisonous to full vampires, it’s aroma as sweet as honey in order to lure them in like the sorry flies that they are.

° This news doesn’t really phase Marko in the slightest. He thinks it’s gnarly that your blood can do that to a full vampire. David thinks he’s insane, but Marko loves anything weird and quirky, especially gruesome. He’s a horror fanatic in my eyes!

° Although he’s the smallest out of the entire group, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t possess an intelligent mind. He believes that if what you’re saying it the truth and only but the truth then he’s not stupid enough to risk it. He quite enjoys sleeping all day and partying all night, thank you very much!

° Marko would be nothing more than a fibber if he said that you feeding from him turns him on. Like David, he uses it as a way to strengthen the bond between you. He’s mindful during the whole experience to not let his desires take hold and bite you. He’s looking to enjoy the passionate ride you two are involved in, not die a premature death.

° Unbeknownst to most, Marko has a rather possessive streak when it comes to you. What’s his is his and he doesn’t really like to share. This causes him to receive a cornucopia of teasing from the boys, but he doesn’t really care. He’s the one with a hot Damphyr mate. In his eyes he’s already won.

° Following his vampiric nature, Marko doesn’t care all too much for human life and it’s fragile nature. I mean, because you’re a born half-ling, he’s got to deal with your human nature that runs just as strongly in you as the vampiric nature. The two often collide with one another, creating a deep rooted sense of conflict within you that is really difficult for Marko to watch. You actually feel guilt for the victims you feed from, which took awhile for him to get used to.

° After all, you need to feed to live. So why do you need to add guilt into the mix? The other boys don’t get it either, they tease you about it, but once they begin to see the actual effect consistently killing does to you, they snag a lot of blood bags because you’re not actually killing anyone any more. Just chill out.

° Marko is a hard nut to crack. I mean that in the sense in which he hardly let’s on what he’s thinking and feeling in any given moment. It takes years of knowing him to understand him. But one thing that is totally apparent is his protectiveness over you. He would without a doubt die for you, no questions asked. If it meant that you lived, he’s willing to sacrifice himself.

° “Listen, babe,” Marko murmured into the darkness of the hotel, his voice quiet as he leaned against one of the crumbling cave walls, “I know you’re capable and all of taking care of yourself. But like, can you stay here tonight? The boys and I got word there were hunters in town. I’d hate to see anything happen to you, you know?”

° Marko will defend you till his last breath! Ya boii will fight for your honor at the drop of a hat. Surf Nazis, the other boys, a random kid looking at you funny, you name it! He’s prepared to fight anyone anywhere!

° “Hey asshole! Mind waiting in line like a normal person instead of cutting in front of my girl like that?”

° “Marko!”

° “What, babe? I asked nicely.”

° Marko is the biggest sweetheart nonetheless and it’s a ritual that he gives you his jacket whenever you get cold. The s o f t vibes that flood off of him makes your knees goes weak. You’re such a sucker for sweet Marko.

° “I swear to God, you touch my girl again and I’ll rip your hands off, buddy!”

° “What’d you say to her you asshole?”

° “You say that again and I’ll rip your tongue right out of your head.”

° The amount of times him and the boys have been kicked off of the Board Walk because Marko got into a brawl over you is well over the hundreds by now. You seriously don’t feel like there’s a need for him being so protective because you’re stronger than most mortal men and women, you can kick ass on your own.

° If you blabber a lot in order to tell him about yourself he just grins his infamous Cheshire grin and kisses your lips softly to shut you up.

° “Was I rambling again?”

° “Just a little.”

° “Sorry!”

° “It’s all cool, babe. I love it.”

° When you educate him on your kind he thinks it’s the most adorable thing in the world because he can tell that you’re very passionate about the subject. You often catch him staring at you, head cocked to the side as he beams at you. The sight causes your heart to splutter as though it’s giving up which he only laughs in return to.

° “What? Do I have something on my face?” You’d hum, fingers darting to your cheek as your brow creases in confusion.

° “Nah, babe.” Marko grins, leaning closer to you, his crystal blue eyes gazing down at your mouth prior to meeting your gaze once more.

° “Then why are you staring at me like that?”

° He tends to ask you questions when it’s just you two, it gives him the space to relax because none of the other boys are listening in. He keeps all of your secrets. He’s a trustworthy vampire!

° “Does garlic work on you then?”

° “No, I literally just ate garlic right in front of you Marko.”

° “Oh yeah!”

° If hunters are rampant in Santa Carla he’s more than down to keep you safe. He’s never opposed to kicking some hunter ass! Even if you’re capable of defending yourself, he’s kind of an idiot and will get involved anyway. Again, that’s only because he feels strongly about you.

° Marko tends to sit back and observe the way you use your gifts. He laughed so hard when David attempted to use compulsion on you. The boys never let David live that down for a solid three months!

° Similar to the other boys, Marko is relieved that mind games aren’t something that can affect you. You’re fully aware of what someone is attempting to do to you, which makes you more honest and Marko enjoys that about you.

° He also thinks it’s incredibly hot when you call out David. Like his babe can’t get any better to him! No one stands up to David. The fact that he’s got a Damphyr mate that’s ballsy like that makes him happy. You fit right in with him and the boys, no doubt.

° Marko never holds back in the bedroom department, and the fact that you can withstand far more than a human, it allows him to worship your body for hours on end. He’s the most notorious tease out of all the boys, and isn’t afraid to make you work for what you want. He gladly suffers the consequences afterwards because in his eyes, you begging for him was all worth the teasing he received from you the next few nights.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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yugyummygot7reactions · 4 years

Text

Into the Night - 6

Prelude | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |

Finale tomorrow!!!! 8pm!!!

Pairing: Youngjae x You

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 1819

Warnings: Solo Play

And just like that he was gone. As you drifted to sleep, you thought you felt someone still watching you, but you didn’t think Jinyoung would have stayed around for a round two.

You looked around and saw no one there, but what you didn’t know is that when the clock struck midnight there would be someone standing in the corner, ready for his own fun with you.

As midnight passed, a young man appeared in the room next to the bed, inches from your sleeping face. “I hope you don’t sleep as long as last time,” he said as he tried to brush your hair from your eyes, his hand instead gliding through your skin, “I only have one day a year to be seen and heard safely and I don’t want to waste it alone. Why do ghosts have to only have Devil’s Night to wander? Wouldn’t it make more sense for a demon to have that restriction?” The voice woke you up. It was smooth and gave you goosebumps. You slowly looked around and saw the faint image of a young man next to your bed. A transparent man. “You’re awake!” he loudly exclaimed, shocking you off of the opposite side of the bed. “Sorry,” he immediately apologized before floating towards you. “Who-“ You started, “I’m Youngjae,” He smiled and held out his hand. You reached out to shake it and your hand went right through his. “Well…I was Youngjae when I was living. Now I’m just your other world boy next door.” You stared dumbfounded. “You’re one of the monsters?” You asked as you approached him, looking at all of his features as closely as you could. “Monster? Sure, I guess. I’m not from here if that’s what you mean…well…this world…now…I used to be from this world. This was actually my old house before I died.” “How did you…” You didn’t know how to politely ask the question. “Die?” he laughed at your concern for his feelings, “Jaebeom.” He shrugged like that was normal. “Did you meet him yet? He’s actually quite cool. We crossed the threshold to this realm together during the portal opening.” “He killed you and you’re friends with him?” You looked at him confused as you adjusted the sheets that were acting as your only cover from the attractive man in front of you. “I mean…killing me was an accident and sort of my fault…so yea!” “How is him killing you your fault?” You were so confused. “He turned me into a vampire, with my permission, but then I freaked out when I had to drink blood from a living person to make the whole eternal life thing stick. I felt too guilty hurting someone else. So I just didn’t do it…and I died…” He looked so nonchalant, like he was telling you what he had for dinner last night. “You asked for eternal life in the living realm and ended up cutting your life short in the process?” “Yup,” He smiled, “I still have eternal life, but I can’t touch anyone. It’s annoying.” He pouted. “I did it to myself though. I didn’t think the whole vampire thing through before telling Jaebeom I wanted it.” You were astounded at his childishness. “So you can’t even touch other ghosts?” You put your hand through his chest. “Nope, but I do have a fun trick that lets me touch people for a while.” Before you knew it, the whisp of a man flew towards you at alarming speed. The next thing you knew, you had a voice in your head and no control of your body. “Cool, right?” He asked as he held your hands up in front of you. “Possession is fun in the right person. You smell like lemons. Jinyoung smells like amber, Jaebeom smells like old spice.” You laughed at his comments, but this was freaky. You had zero control. “Very funny, now get out. We can hang, but I want control of my body back.” “Mmmmmm…not quite yet.” He said with a hint of mischief, “I can only do this once a year and I think some fun is in order.” He made you tap your lips while he thought. “Jinyoung got to have some special fun with you, and now I want to too.” Within seconds the sheets were on the floor and you were back in bed. Your actions were not your own, but you could still feel all the movements and sensations from what Youngjae was doing to you. Your heart was pounding, breath racing, legs quaking. You were tingling all over, and a pleasant shiver going down your spine as Youngjae roamed your hands across your body. You realized you feel something else too; a dampness between your legs that was not there before. “I’ve never possessed a woman before,” Youngjae notified you, “Apparently me getting a ghostly boner gives you the female equivalent. Your hands dip down to your core and rub your slick for a moment before Youngjae brings your fingers up to your mouth. “Let’s both have a taste.” He hummed in delight as he tasted you. “I wish I could be down there tasting this with my own tongue.” He breathlessly said as his hands began to roam your body again. You blushed deep and your face goes hot as the thought of Youngjae not only controlling you, but feeling, seeing, and tasting what you were crossed your mind. You were being pleasured by a ghost. It was the young brunette with the beauty mark by his eye, the one who seemed the most innocent of all the monsters thus far. Your arousal was stronger this time than it had been with the others and you cannot just simply ignore and will it away. After a moment of trying to find a way to get Youngjae out of you, you decided to just cave in and let him help you pleasure yourself. Your hands were gliding over your body, enjoying the pleasant tingle it provides. Youngjae brings your hands up to your breasts and plays with your nipples, which have become hard and raised with the arousal from the both of you. He rubs and pinches them, the sensations traveling straight to your core. You can hear Youngjae shudder with pleasure. He keeps one hand there as he brings the other one down between your legs. Youngjae rubs a finger up and down your seam, collecting moisture, before rubbing the small bud of flesh and sensitive nerves that has become slightly engorged with your arousal. Youngjae gasps at the feeling, as it has been quite some time since he pleasured himself or anyone else. He rubs slow and steady circles with your finger while your other hand still pinches and rubs your nipple, slowly building your collective pleasure. Youngjae releases your nipple and brings your hand down to join the other one, only with this hand, he presses one of your long and slender fingers inside. Youngjae bites your lips at the slightly foreign action. He gives you a moment to adjust, bending your finger and thrusting lightly before he slides another finger inside, rubbing you a bit faster. He scissors your fingers open for a few minutes then adds a third. Despite the events of this week, you are tight, clamping down on your own fingers instinctively, but continues to rub your sensitive spot more firmly. Youngjae was coaxing you to relax. Speaking sweet nothings in your mind and trying to get you to imagine that it’s two of his fingers inside of you. It doesn’t take long before your muscles relax and Youngjae begins thrusting your fingers in and out of you slowly, enjoying the slide and pleasant feeling it provides. He twists your fingers and feels a slightly rough and bumpy patch at the front of your walls. He massages there gently and moans at the wonderful pleasure it causes you both.

You and he realize that your hand outside has stopped and he resumes pleasuring you there while also doing so from within. It doesn’t take long before you feel your climax approaching. Youngjae lifts your hips up as your legs tense, your back arching and your breath hitching as your minds go completely blank, your climax crashing down as wave upon wave of pleasure washes over the both of you. Your body quakes as your muscles clench and pulse around your fingers, which are still buried deep inside. "Oh Youngjae!" You regain control for a split second to call out on pure instinct, riding out your orgasm until your muscles relax again and you collapse back onto the mattress. Youngjae slowly pulls his fingers from your core. You were a bit oversensitive and twitching after experiencing your own pleasure as both yours and his. You both lie there for a few moments until your breathing and heart rate return to a more normal pace. As you both regain your senses and normal thought processes, you realize what you just let Youngjae do and flush red and hot color running across your chest and face, up to the tips of your ears. When Youngjae feels your body is able to stand without your legs giving out from under the both of you, he gets you up and goes to the bathroom to rinse off your fingers and wipe you clean. He even started a bath for you and made sure you were safely in the water relaxing before he pulled himself out of you and hovered near the tub. You instinctively go to cover up, but realize he has done so much more than just seen you naked and you settling for crossing your arms and legs for a little protection. Youngjae’s hair was still perfect, clothes nicely unwrinkled, skin pale as ever, the only change was that you could see his chest heaving. “That was wonderful,” he said as he floated over and settled himself into the tub so you were both sitting facing each other. “Thank you.” He smiled as he looked deep into your eyes. “To repay you for this wonderful time, other than providing you with a full day with me, totally PG rated mind you…well…mostly…” he laughed, “I’m going to help you catch the other monsters.” “I appreciate it, but you can’t grab them and the possession could be dangerous and you can’t possess all of them at once. I just don’t see how you can help.” “Mark Tuan,” He said with a smile. “Who?” You asked, confused. “Mark Tuan,” He said like this man was the most famous human on earth. “There is always a price to pay for his help, but if you need to catch all of them by tomorrow night without any hiccups or brushes with death, you go to Mark.” “How do I find him?” You asked, eager to get this over with. “You find out after a day of Netflix and chill with me.” He smiled, “No exceptions.” You nod in agreement and sigh. If he didn’t only get one day a year to communicate with other people, you would have told him to fuck off. “Who is he?” You ask, curious about how Youngjae might know of someone in the land of the living. “The seventh monster…and your only hope.”

#got7 #got7 smut #choi youngjae #kpop #kpop smut #youngjae #youngjae smut #into the night #yugyummygot7reactions

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dprdabin · 4 years

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DPR Live Breaks Down His First Full-Length Album 'Is Anybody Out There?'

DPR Live's first mini album, Coming To You (2017), made headlines for featuring famous artists such as Dean, Crush, Loco, and Jay Park, all while strengthening the artist's presence as a hip-hop frontrunner in Korea.

Since then, he has been in the spotlight with a number of popular songs, such as “Jasmine” and “Martini Blue.” For his 21-city world tour in 2018, 16 cities were sold out, with the Seoul tickets selling out just one minute after the ticket sales began. It proved DPR Live's global popularity -- and then it took two years to see his face again.

Now, DPR Live, born Hong Da-bin, is back with his first studio album, Is Anybody Out There? He breaks it down for us below.

How did you celebrate the album's release on March 3?

I popped a champagne bottle with DPR members. I listened to everything -- from the first track to the last track -- wearing earphones while drinking soju at [a] Korean barbecue restaurant.

This is your first full-length album. How did you feel once it was out in the world?

I felt very relieved. A lot of things happened to me in the past two years and I didn't really show myself to my fans, except through performances. And my emotions were complicated, too. After I released this album, I felt like I was free from the heavy burden. It's cool, but it's sad, it's empty, and it feels good. There are so many emotions.

I had a hard time in the process, but I am satisfied because it seems that I put everything I wanted in the end.

Two years is a long gap. Is there a reason why it took so long?

This album contains the process of me getting out of a slump. Actually, I think it took longer to overcome the slump than to make music. Tracks 1-4 (“Here Goes Nothing,” “Geronimo!” “To Whoever” and “Out Of Control”) were made during the world tour. It took a year to make track five, “Disconnect.” I didn't make music for a year, but I focused on having my own time. I think it was a time when I was thinking about, "What are the problems inside of me? What kind of burden do I have that is hindering me?”

After overcoming that time, I wanted to reach out to my fans again. That's what “Disconnect” is all about. Also, I'm not the type to make songs quickly. I'm the type to put in effort slowly. I think the album is a gift for the fans. Like when I put a lot of thought into picking a color or a ribbon, I cared about the details with affection. Two years is not a long time, if you put these together.

Did you feel pressure to live up to fans' expectations for what a full-length album by DPR Live should sound like?

I think a full-length album is a white canvas. I didn't want to capture what others wanted, but I wanted to instinctively draw what I wanted to capture -- what I felt, with colors that I wanted to use.

Did you want to make changes to your style, such as using synth or switching beats?

I didn't mean to. It was natural. I think the color changed because I used the sound that I needed to express my emotions as much as I could.

The album concept is space. Is there any reason to liken the journey out of a slump to that?

I think I really like metaphors. One day, I saw DPR members, and they all had different mental worlds and different colors. It looked like one planet after another. I also thought that I was experiencing slumps, performing, and working on music on earth and the universe was a place that gave me liberation. The universe is an infinite space. As these thoughts that I usually had were put together like puzzles, I naturally likened them to the universe.

What does the album title [Is Anybody Out There?] mean?

DPR Rem, the creator of DPR, came up with the idea. There was something I wanted to hear when I was having a really hard time. “You don't have to do music. You don't have to manage your schedule right away. You don't have to rip the stage apart. You did a great job. You are special as you are and I love you. You can go slowly, or you can go fast. We just care about you.”

I think I was hungry for those words. At that time, I was wondering if there was anybody who could tell me these things. I think Is Anybody Out There? implicitly expresses it. Actually, I used that sentence a lot before this album. It was at the end of "Color Drive" by DPR Cream, and my song’s lyrics has that kind of nuance too.

Previous songs featured artists like Crush, Dean, Jay Park, and so on. This album only features the members of DPR. Why did you insist on this?

There are many artists who want to make great pictures together. I have a golden list of those I admire. I really want to do it when the opportunity comes, but this album wasn't the right time. It's weird to suddenly have another artist in the middle of my own story. I wasn't even in the mood to meet people and pretend to be happy. I think we naturally got together with DPR members and just worked on it.

Can you tell me who's on the golden list?

GD and Beenzino. Dean and Crush never leave the list. When I see artists who have their own distinct color and are not ashamed of their color, I feel empathy and attraction. I like Honne and Jaden Smith in terms of international artists. But it is not necessarily my goal to release a song with these artists -- I just want to interact with people I'm attracted to. I want to talk comfortably and empathize with each other. It would be good if something comes out in the process. I think time is very valuable even if there is no outcome.

At the end of the third track on the album, “To Whoever,” the voices of fans at a concert hall can be heard. What's the message there?

Fans who shared that time together will be very happy. First of all, I put it in thinking it's a feature for the fans and I wanted to bring up the feeling of nostalgia. Even though I was passing through a long tunnel at that time, it still remains a very pleasant memory.

You said you were cut off from the people around you until track five was released. How did you spend your time?

At that time, even though I had a good-sized studio, I spent time in a tiny [10 meter by 10 meter] one. I used to go back to Guam where I grew up and sit in the hallway of the school I went to. I had time to look back on my difficult childhood. I tried to fix my habits one by one. For example, I was constantly on social media. When you are constantly on social media, you unconsciously compare yourself to other people's lives. I tried not to look at social media except when communicating with the fans.

Also, when I hang out with people with new ideas, I get a new perspective. I tried to meet a friend who was living a better life than me or a friend working in a field that I wanted to venture into. As I immerse myself in their world and talk with them, I can feel my consciousness. Naturally, new ideas and new solutions arise.

Starting with “S.O.S,” the mood of the album turns bright. Is that what you felt after exiting the slump?

Right. As I said before, I've had my own time for a while, and I think I developed a way to love myself. Once I was full of self-love, I wanted to reach out to my fans, family and friends. Maybe my friends thought it was weird because after suddenly going out of contact with them I came back to see them again.

Anyway, I put the feelings of that period into this song. It was expressed with lyrics like, "I want to enjoy the flow with you, I want to feel the flow with you," and hopeful lyrics like, "Let’s go beyond," are also there. When I started to love myself, that love poured out to the people around me.

Now, I want to deliver a lot of frequencies of hope to others. There is a saying that looking at artwork completed with hope makes people feel better. I believe in the energy delivered through the work. I wanted to put positive energy into this album, too. This album is not to make people sink, but to bring them up. Although I had a dark time, I wanted to show hope through the process of overcoming it.

You released the videos for “Legacy” and “Kiss Me+Neon” in a series. It seems like you put a lot of effort into them.

DPR Ian directed the album, and we've been talking since the beginning of the album and we've developed ideas. He picked a source and showed me one by one. Then I added my ideas and he added more. We kept repeating this process constantly. Usually it's embarrassing to tell incomplete ideas to someone, but we both communicate without hesitation. It seems to inspire each other and create synergy. And eventually, one painting was completed.

What do you want fans to take away from Is Anybody Out There? How do you recommend enjoying it?

First of all, I think it's good to understand and listen to the story of overcoming a slump with love. It would be nice to interpret and listen to English lyrics, right? Personally, I also recommend drinking and listening. If you just turn off the lights and lie down without thinking about anything with your earphones on, you'll feel like you're in a different world.

#dpr live #dabin #hong dabin #dpr #article #200422 #billboard

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vampiregirl1797 · 4 years

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Time Travel & Epic Loves Chapter Five (Final)

Gif Not Mine

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Warnings: I can't think of any for this one, let me know if I need to add some.

Word Count: 3,502

Previously: The sight we walked in on made my blood boil, while my heart felt like it had been ripped out and stomped on. Klaus had Tatia pinned to a tree and he was grinning down at her. The doppelganger saw me over his shoulder and smirked, pushing herself closer to Nik. My teeth clenched together in anger but I could feel the stinging in my eyes, and I knew I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t focus on what they were saying, I couldn’t hear Nik when he turned and saw me standing there with his sister. Instead I turned away and ran. I forced myself to move at human speed until I was out of sight and then I flashed away, mindful not to enter the werewolf territory. I reached an empty field and sat down underneath an old willow tree, and finally allowed my tears to fall, unreserved.

I was so confused. I was mad. I was heartbroken. I felt betrayed.

Before I let myself think, I waited for myself to get all cried out. That took longer than I am willing to admit, but once I was done I lay back on the grass, staring at the stars twinkling in the night sky. A flash of Nik hovering over me underneath the stars before he entered me flashed through my mind. I forced it away. After a deep breath, I thought about what had happened. Honestly, as soon as I’d seen him with that tramp, I couldn’t really remember what had happened. It was like the world had frozen. All I could see was her pinned to a tree and all I could hear was his laughter playing on a continuous loop. But when I forced myself to focus I remembered that his amusement hadn’t been light-hearted, it was dark and threatening. His expression hadn’t been happy and lustful, it had been angry. When he had seen me, he hadn’t looked guilty, he looked worried and confused. Tatia had looked smug, but before she had seen me she had looked almost terrified.

I sighed in annoyance, what had I done?

Tatia had manipulated me and I had let my insecurities get the best of me. I had seen them together and assumed the worst. A part of me continued to believe that Nik couldn’t possibly love me over Tatia, at least not now. But I had to remember that my Nik, from the future, remembered me from this time. He had known me and it was his memory of me from when he was human that led to him to pursue me. I needed to talk to him. I stood up, brushed the dirt and grass off my clothes and flashed back to the woods, coming to a stop before walking into the village at a human pace. It was quiet and I realised then that it must have been later than thought. In a slight panic I headed in the direction of the Mikaelson hut, relieved that I could still hear Ester and Bekah preparing dinner. Henrik, Finn and Kol were in there too, though it just sounded like that meant the rest of the men weren’t back from hunting yet.

I went back to mine and Katy’s hut and found it empty, which was odd and a little concerning. I hadn’t seen her in almost a day now. I focused my hearing and was relieved to hear her speaking in the Mikaelson hut. I assumed Bekah had invited her over seeing as she had been unable to come on our walk earlier. Seeing as I didn’t feel like talking, and I wanted to catch Nik before he went inside for dinner, I hung back in the trees, waiting and listening. I was beginning to think he would never show when I heard the sound of Mikael berating Nik.

‘I am tired of telling you, Niklaus. You need to get better at hunting if you ever hope to provide for your own family. Your mother and I will not feed you for your entire adult life, boy,’ Mikael spat and I rolled my eyes in irritation.

I hid behind a tree as they passed by and grabbed Nik’s arm. To stop him from making a sound, my hand covered his mouth and I held my index finger up to my lips to indicate that he needed to be quiet. The surprise in his eyes quickly ebbed away into relief and we shared a smile before I started to lead him to the very place I had run from earlier. When we arrived at the water, I turned to look at him with an apologetic expression on my face.

‘I’m sorry for running away earlier.’ I couldn’t look him in the eyes, ‘I guess there’s still a part of me that is worried you still like her and when I saw you together my mind assumed what was happening rather than taking in what was actually happening.’

He took both of my hands in his and I looked up to him in surprise.

‘It’s I who should be sorry. I haven’t told you of my feelings and it has led to you believing I am torn between two women and that is not the case.’ His eyes were so sincere and regretful, ‘you captivated me as soon as you arrived and it confused me. I tried to force myself to remain loyal to Tatia, but it was to no avail. Our first night together, being with you, felt so natural and electric in a way I have never experienced before. After that, I felt guilty and was fighting with weather or not I should tell Tatia, seeing as we weren’t technically together. But then my father punished me and you were the one who cared for me and put a stop to it. No one has ever been there for me like that before, not even Elijah.’

He pressed a kiss to my forehead when he saw the pain on my face at the reminder of Mikael’s torture.

‘That led me to realise that not only was I physically attracted to you, I also cared for you. But still I wasn’t sure if my feelings for you outweighed my feelings for her, which was why I asked you to the feast yesterday. As soon as I saw you, my heart beat so furiously in my chest after being away from you for three days that I knew then. I’ve never had such a reaction when seeing Tatia. You make me happy without even trying. You make me feel complete and you fit in my life as if you were made to be there, Arianna. I love you.’ He admitted softly, tears forming in his eyes; similar to those that were falling down my own cheeks.

‘I love you too, Niklaus.’ I told him.

His smile was brighter than the sun as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in a tender kiss that made my heart expand with love and happiness.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.’ He said when he pulled away, ‘when you came across us earlier, I was telling Tatia that anything that may have existed between us was over and that I no longer wanted to court her. She was furious and told me that she would make sure you and I were never happy together. She threatened you and I didn’t think before I pinned her to that tree. When you ran a part of me was worried you were afraid that I would hurt you.’

‘Nik, I know you’d never hurt me.’ I kissed his cheek in assurance, ‘Tatia knew what she was doing. She’s probably feeling threatened herself because neither you or Elijah are interested in her now.’

‘Most likely.’ Nik smirked at the possessiveness in my voice. His eyes were lustful and I saw him glance down to my lips.

‘How long before you have to return?’ I asked him, biting my bottom lip in anticipation.

‘I’m sure Elijah will cover,’ he didn’t seem to really be paying attention to me, as we both moved towards each other as if drawn by a magnetic force.

My lips moved against his with passion, possession and want. I bit his bottom lip gently, silently telling him to deepen the kiss, which he did with a growl that made my knees go weak. When he lowered me to the grass we shared a soft smile before he pushed into me, moving in a rhythm that was very different from when we first slept together in this century. The first time was full of lust, need and the desire to be wanted. This time was about cementing how we felt about each other, about showing how much we loved one another through the slow rhythm, the tender kisses and the gentle caresses we each shared. When we had both reached our release Klaus rolled off me, pulling me with him and I lay across his chest, both of us content to lie in silence and just appreciate the peace of the moment.

Xxx

‘I haven’t seen you for twenty-four hours, Ari! Where have you been?’ Katy cornered me as soon as I entered our hut. I had only just left Nik and was still revelling a little in the time we had spent together.

‘I was with Nik and before that I was sulking because I saw him with Tatia, but it turns out it was a complete misunderstanding.’ I waved off her worried expression and sat at our dining table, picking up one of our apples and eating it.

‘Honestly, I have come close to killing her so many times since we’ve been here. She’s a manipulative ho-bag, how can they not see that?’ Katy grumbled and I shot her an amused look, ‘what?’

‘Need I remind you of a couple of gentlemen that go by the name Salvatore?’ I smirked at her sheepish expression.

‘I didn’t have my humanity on then! What’s her excuse?’ She huffed, but she couldn’t help joining in on my laughter.

‘So what happened to you today? I haven’t seen you since the feast.’ My grin widened when she blushed.

‘Well Elijah bought me back here, but when I saw you and Klaus cuddled up together I thought it would be best if we gave you space. So we went to the creek and fell asleep on the grass under the stars. When we woke up, Elijah had to head out to do his chores and somehow Kol convinced me to help him and his mother with the cooking. I was worried when Bekah joined us and told me what you had both seen.’ Katy gave my hand a squeeze and I sent her a bright smile, genuinely happy after the talk I had with Nik.

‘It’s fine, like you said she’s manipulative.’ I shrugged, ‘listen Katy I’ve been thinking about how we’re going to say goodbye to them when we have to leave.’

‘Me too.’ She took the seat across from me, both of our moods suddenly very serious.

I told her my theory, that I they would have their memories in the future. When she seemed sceptical, I told her about the memories that had been flashing through my mind the past few days; meeting Klaus, him finding me the day after, coming across Bekah when we were tracking Stefan and Nik, and Klaus’ willingness to put her past betrayal behind him after half a millennia and move on. I was relieved when she seemed to believe me, and I think we both felt relief from the pressure of having to make up a lie to tell them. We could tell them the truth, and compel them to believe something else to avoid suspicion until they were transformed themselves. After all, they couldn’t know that they were going to become vampires ahead of time, and we couldn’t compel them to forget us completely because that left the risk of someone in the village asking about us, or Anaya saying something. This was the best plan. All we had to do now was wait until the night we were to leave and compel them before the moon reached its apex.

‘The future?’ Nik repeated, his eyes critically observing my expression searching for any hint of deceit.

‘Yes. Katarina and I are from the future, and in that future we know the both of you.’ I said, unable to stop myself from wringing my hands together nervously.

‘Know us how?’ Kol asked—we’d gathered everyone except Finn and Henrik to reveal this information to.

‘Well we have different relationships with all of you. I’m romantically involved with Elijah, Ari is with Klaus, and the rest of you are like siblings to us.’ Kat explained, looking a lot more confident than I did, but I knew she was just better at keeping her anxiety from showing.

‘How far into the future?’ Bekah questioned, her voice hesitant. I wondered if that was because she was having trouble believing us, or because she had a feeling that our answer wouldn’t be a good one.

‘A thousand years.’ I answered honestly, ‘give or take. When you first meet us, we won’t remember this meeting, because we’ll find each other before we get sent back to the past. Fifty years pass before that happens.’

‘How is that possible? You cannot be from a thousand years into the future.’ Elijah scoffed, but Kol seemed to believe us. But of course, he’d seen our other form.

‘We’re immortal beings, Elijah, the very same that you four will be soon.’ Kat said gently, knowing we couldn’t go into specifics.

‘Can you show us?’ Nik asked and my eyes found him for the first time since I admitted where we’d come from.

His blue eyes were shining with… acceptance? It made my heart clench with hope as Katy and I shared a nod. I took a deep breath and allowed my vampire face to reveal itself, knowing that Kat was doing the same beside me. Kol wasn’t surprised, more interested than anything else. Bekah was shocked, but thankfully not afraid and Nik and Elijah were taken aback. My face returned to normal and my eyes fell to the ground, afraid of seeing fear or disgust in Nik’s eyes.

I blinked, surprised, when Nik’s index finger lifted my chin and bought my gaze to his. I felt my eyes sheen over at the love shining in his blue eyes—it was the same way he looked at me in the future, with pure, unconditional love.

‘You’re beautiful, Arianna.’ He murmured, his thumb stroking over my cheekbone.

I didn’t know what to say, so I placed my hand over the one he held to my face and turned to kiss his palm. He smiled gently and entwined my fingers through his, pulling me to his side.

‘Why are you telling us this now?’ Kol asked once Nik and I had returned from our “moment.”

‘Because we will be returning to our time tonight, and we wish for you to know the truth before then.’ Kat said, her arm around Elijah’s waist.

‘We must compel you to forget what we are, and where we came from.’ I admitted, feeling Klaus’ body stiffen next to mine. I went on to assure them all before they could get too angry, ‘it won’t be for long, I promise, when the time is right you’ll get your memories back.’

Klaus relaxed a little, but I could tell the idea of having to forget everything for even a small amount of time wasn’t agreeable to any of them. Not to mention having to wait a thousand years to find us again.

‘Okay.’ Bekah said, her smile becoming reassuring when our eyes turned to her, ‘I trust you both, and I know you wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t necessary. I’m happy for you to temporarily tamper with my memories.’

‘Me too,’ Kol chimed in.

Nik and Elijah didn’t need to say anything; we both know they would do anything that we needed them to do. In many ways, my relationship with this Nik was already close to what we had in the future. I leaned up and kissed his cheek, his stubble gently pricking my lips, and the warmth radiated from his skin, making me powerless to stop my eyes from fluttering shut for a moment.

‘Let’s do this.’ Kat murmured, her hand squeezing Elijah’s.

We decided to only have one of us to compel everyone; it meant that the story they were being told to believe would be exactly the same. If two of us were doing it, we risked the possibility of details slightly differing. They were all told to believe that we’d decided to move onto another village and to forget the truth we’d told them that evening. They would remember when they were going through their transition of course, and we didn’t know when that would be exactly. Once it was done, Katy and I flashed away, leaving them in the stretch of forest close to their home as we met Anaya by her hut, where she was waiting for us to do the spell. She already had the ingredients and she was confident in the spell she had created to send us back. I knew it was going to work; if my Nik had remembered me from the past that had to mean we successfully returned to our present.

Anaya started the spell, adding the vials of blood she’d taken from us to the wooden bowl in front of her, and I took Katy’s hand in mine, squeezing comfortingly as we started to fade from existence. I didn’t fight it, I didn’t fear it, I embraced it with open arms, eager to see my husband and family again.

‘Ari?’ Katherine’s voice led to me opening my eyes, not realising that I’d even closed them.

I looked around, noting we were in the same room we’d been in before we’d been sent back; an old abandoned warehouse where Ester and Finn had us cornered. Only, they weren’t here anymore. No one was here.

‘We’re back.’ I smiled, pulling Katy’s hand towards the exit and into the streets of New Orleans. It was the middle of the night and we were in one of the few parts of the city that was actually quiet at night.

It didn’t take long for us to reach the compound and when we did I took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scents of home. Nik’s paints probably still drying in his art room, Elijah’s collection of books, Kol’s magical ingredients that he collected even though he couldn’t really use them, and the increased scent of cotton assuring us Bekah’s clothing collection had probably grown in volume while we’d been gone.

Before Katy and I could take another step, the sound of four people whooshing into the room reached us, followed by their appearances. I found Nik’s eyes first; his relief, his love, his gratitude shone in his blue orbs. I felt my own eyes fill with tears, but before I could flash over to him my arms were full as Bekah and Kol pulled Kat and I into a group hug.

‘I’m so glad you’re back sisters.’ Kol murmured, sounding a little choked up, though I was sure he’d never admit it.

‘We’ve missed you so much.’ Bekah added, her voice wrought with emotion. I hugged them both tightly, having missed them too—we may have been with them in the past but it wasn’t quite the same.

‘What happened to Ester and Finn?’ Kat asked once we’d been released, wiping tears of happiness from her cheeks.

‘Destroyed. We took measures to ensure she will not be able to return, nor will Finn.’ Kol assured us, but he didn’t elaborate. I shrugged it off for now, much more interested in being in my husband’s arms than pressing for the specifics.

My eyes found his again and I was in front of him quicker than you could blink. He held his arms open and I wasted no time in diving to his warmth, inhaling his scent and feeling my bones melt as I fully relaxed into him.

‘It’s good to have you home, my love.’ He murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

My face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, happy to be back, in the arms of the man who was my home, ‘It’s good to be home, Nik.’

And I’m going to leave it there! I hope you liked this series, I’ve had it sitting in my drafts for a while now, I got so close to finishing a while back and until recently I was unsure of how to finish it. But I’m happy with this ending— Katherine and Arianna are home, and that’s all that matters, the rest is just details!

Xoxo

VampireGirl1797

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson imagine #klaus mikaelson x oc #katherine pierce x elijah mikaelson #katherine petrova x elijah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #the vampire diaries #the originals

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