What No One Talks About
You know what no one ever talks about? How meeting "the one" doesn't make you any less aspec.
Like, you know when aphobes are all like, "You just haven't met the *right person* yet"? It doesn't follow logically.
A few days ago, my queerplatonic partner and I decided that there is a romantic element to our relationship, and that "demiromantic" describes our romantic orientations better. So yes, I "met the right person" and developed romantic feelings. But does that make me any less aro? Absolutely not. I wasn't alloromantic all along and just needed to realize it. You don't NOT develop romantic feelings your whole life and nullify your entire aromantic experience just because you find out you're arospec more than vanilla aro.
So yes, aspecs *might* meet "the one" and develop romantic and/or sexual feelings (not me, though, I'm ace as heck 😂). They might find out they're gray or demi. But that doesn't make them ANY less aspec.
Fight me on this.
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happy pride month from your neighborhood gray!! I forget that asexuality has been severely misrepresented and that a lot of people don’t actually know what it is as a result so here is an overview of what asexuality is, what it’s not, and how acephobic is represented. there is so much more to asexuality than just this. I didn’t even mention the medicalization of asexuality!
I highly rec scretspiderlady on Twitter because she writes a lot about the ace experience and has many comprehensive threads. I also rec Yasmin Benoit, a Black aroace lingerie model who is fighting misinformation about asexuality and shedding light on racism within the asexual community. if you’re interested in more resources feel free to dm me!
EDIT: I updated the slide that refers to asexuality as “aspec” to “acespec.” The term aspec refers to the a community as a whole -- both asexuals and aromantics -- while acespec refers to the asexual spectrum and arospec referes to the aromantic spectrum. You can see this mirrored in the terms acephobia (experienced by aces), arophobia (experienced by aros), and aphobia (experienced by both aces and aros). Thank you to those of you who tagged this post with their correction!
EDIT 2: now with a text-only option!
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Cool Aro and/or Ace Spec Resources + Other Stuff!!
This list is for ALL people regardless of your identity. This blog is a safe space for all types of aro and/or ace spec people. Hate will NOT be tolerated. Questions are okay! :)
Also! I can't fit all the cool things I found on this list, so I'll make another one in the future! :)
Cool things!
Are You on the Aromantic Spectrum (quiz)?
Are You on the Asexual Spectrum (quiz)?
Aro Ace Character Database
Aro Arrows
Aro-Owned Businesses
Aro-Recommended
Asexual Pride Friendship Bracelet Tutorial
Attraction Layer Cake
Books With Asexual Main Characters
Canon Aroace Characters
Canon Aro and Ace Characters
Crochet Pride Turtle Modification Guide
Free Asexual Bee Crochet Pattern
Free Asexual Flag Cross Stitch Pattern Ace of Spades
Free/Online Aromantic & Asexual Fiction
LGBTQ+ Flags in Minecraft - Banner Tutorial
Pride Patch Tutorials
Learning and Resources!
7 Tips For Coming Out As Ace
Ace/Aro Mythbusting
Ace & Aro Spectrum Definitions
Advice on Coming Out As Aromantic
A Guide to Allo Aro Inclusion in A-Spec Communities
Am I Demisexual If...
Aromantic Info Carrd
Aromantic Spectrum Wiki Stub
Asexual Advice Tumblr
Asexual Affirmations: Things That Don't Make You Any Less Ace
Asexuality and Disability
Asexual Spectrum Wiki Stub
Ask An Aromantic Tumblr
Bi-Oriented Aroace Carrd
List of A-Spec Identities & Info
Myths About Demisexuals
Oriented and Angled Aroace Carrd
Split Attraction Model
Types of Tertiary Attraction
What Is Graysexuality?
Why I’m Founding Disabled Ace Day
Queering The Narrative: Tropes to Avoid When Writing Asexual Characters (intended for allosexuals, not asexual authors)
People's Stories!
An Interview About Allosexual Aromantics
Aro/Ace Confessions Tumblr
Aromantic Coming Out Stories
Asexual Authors Discuss Why They Write and Their Experiences
Asexual Coming Out Stories
Asexual Disabled People Exist, But Don’t Make Assumptions About Us
Asexuality Exists Tumblr
Existing and Defying Stereotypes As An A-Spec Disabled Person
Gray-Romantic, Grieving, and Dealing with More Internalized Amatonormativity than I Thought (tw: internalized arophobia, abuse)
How Asexual and Aromantic People Observe a Day Dedicated to Love
If You Can See the Invisible Elephant, Please Describe It
I'm Aromantic and Asexual - And I Love Valentine's Day
Is It Possible For Me To Be Lesbian and Aroace at the Same Time?
I’ve Realized I’m Asexual but Have Internalised Aphobia, So What Now? (tw: internalized acephobia)
Lesbian Ace and Aro Perspectives
‘Not Broken’: The Struggles of Being an Aromantic Allosexual
Three People Who Identify as Asexual and Aromantic Explain What V Day Is Like For Them
What Is It Like Being Allo Aro?
Communities!
Reddit
r/aaaaaaaarrrrro (memes)
r/aaaaaaacccccccce (memes)
r/aaaaaaaspeccccccc (memes)
r/aaabatterycult
r/aaapeople
r/aaarrroooaaaccceee
r/aarrrooooooaaacceeeee (memes)
r/aceandaroart (art)
r/acearoautistics
r/aceconfessions
r/acefood (food)
r/ace_arosover30
r/acesoftwaregeeks (programming)
r/aceteens
r/aegoromantic
r/aegosexuals
r/agenderaroace
r/allo_ace
r/amiace (ask)
r/angledaroace
r/animace (anime/manga)
r/apothiromantic
r/apothisexual
r/arcsexual
r/aroace
r/aroaceadults
r/aroacebooks (books)
r/aroacechristianity (christianity)
r/aroacecommunity
r/aroacenby
r/aroaceflux
r/aroaceindia (india)
r/aroacememes (memes)
r/aroacepoly
r/aroaceteens
r/aroallo
r/aroandacelife
r/aromantic
r/aromanticasexual
r/aromanticcirclejerk (satire)
r/asexual
r/asexualcirclejerk (satire)
r/asexualdating (dating)
r/asexualgamers (gaming)
r/asexualgaymen
r/asexualindians (india)
r/asexuality
r/asexuals_lesbians
r/asexualmen
r/asexuals_in_love
r/asexualteens
r/askallosexual (ask)
r/askaroace (ask)
r/askasexual (ask)
r/biorientedaroace
r/biroace
r/biromanticasexual
r/cupioromantic
r/cupiosexual
r/dateademi (dating)
r/demiromantic
r/demisexuality
r/faceoface (photos)
r/fictoromantic
r/fictosexual
r/fraysexual
r/graysexual
r/greyromantic
r/greysexuality
r/heteroromanticasexual
r/lithromanitc
r/lithrosexual
r/mildly_ace (photos)
r/myrsesexual
r/orientedaroace
r/panromanticasexuality
r/placiosexualityu
r/sexfavorableace
r/sexrepulsed
r/taskforcealphaalpha
r/traaaaaaarrrrrrro (memes)
r/transasexuals
r/tripleabattery
r/quiromantic
r/quiosexual
Forums
Arocalypse
The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network
Demi Grace
Organizations
Ace & Aros
The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project
Ace Week
Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week
Asexuality Archive
Asexual Outreach
The Association for Asexuals in Denmark
AUREA
Resources For Ace Survivors
Discord (I don’t used discord so I haven’t verified if these are any good, but I choose the most popular ones)
Ace Homies
Ace Planet
Acing the Arrows
The Aro & Ace Café
Bows & Aros
For Creatives (Artists, Writers, etc.)
Aromantic Writing Month
Carnival of Aces
Carnival of Aros
Arospec Poetry Network
Aro Worlds
Videos
Asexuality 101 (playlist) (Haven't watch all the vids yet, but the ones I've seen seem pretty good)
Ways to Show Your Aro and Ace Pride
Tumblrs
(If I should remove any of these, let me know)
Acespec-Ed
ActuallySafe-For-Aro
Aro Humor
Asexual-Society
Asexual Spectrum Spector
AVENPT (Asexual Visibility and Education Network Project Team)
Fuck Yeah Asexual
Growing Up Aro
Perks of Being Ace
The Humorous Ace
Your Fav Is Aromantic
Inclusive Picrews
Heart Hold Character
Legitimate ID Maker
Little Guy Maker
Opossum Party
PotatoLord’s Persona Creator
Prideful Cats
Pride Icon Maker
Wervty’s Obscured Icon Maker
If you have any other cool aro and/or ace things you’d like to share, please let me know and I’ll add it to the list! :) Also, if there's anything I should remove, let me know (and please tell me the reason why)!
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