#religious vent post

[wh3nd01want1t]

so,

my current relationship with God is complicated.

I may be being rebellious. Am I naive to aay that I'm going through a phase and that I'll come back later? Like I can have the best of both worlds? God's love is unconditional, but does it include His salvation? I know that God will always have me on a leash, have a hand on me wherever I go in my life. I can't turn against God. I am a sinner by nature, but I am a lover more strongly than anything. I'll work myself to death out of my love for people. I don't like having to not be nice. I love being nice. I wish we could all get along and be nice, especially to God. Even if God doesn't make a lot of sense sometimes, I have the love that he blessed me with to overlook it. Even if my wordly body and activities disagree with how my body feels, my soul is eagerly awaiting for Heaven to meet the ultimate creator.

My mom has really been struggling with homosexuality and transgenderism lately. She is disturbed and has a hard time processing it. She does not enjoy it. My soul that is with God does not enjoy it, either, but my body is at unrest because it is in the world and it feels uncomfortable with both sides. So much tension. So much confusion. My brain is in the middle of my soul and body, and how I cope is to put on a mask of neutrality at best, along with wanting what's good for people. I have to take a step back for my heart to not break every time I see something that happens so often. I can't just reject it all entirely. I just have to make the most of the situation God has put me in.

It is said that everyone is trying their best. I hope God can stretch His mercy and understanding to my situation, and of others that are similar.

God, help me to be a vessel of love and understanding. Help me to be the best version of myself with my wonderful qualities shining through.

I'm sorry that I have been avoiding you. I just feel guilty. I don't want to be rude to people and just feel uncomfortable all the time. I know it's a small price to pay in the face of eternity, but this is how I feel. My brain and body, especially, don't understand the concept of eternity well, so it's hard for me to be more serious about it. There are a lot of distractions here. You have made me human and allowed sin to enter the world. What do you expect from me? That's my question. I am a sheep and I need a fence. 🐑 And, I need a little pet and snuggle, too. Thanks.

#religious vent post #christian

[samvents]

[ID text — i begged God to save me and he shoved more torment down my throat to keep me quiet]

#sam posts #childhood trauma #religious trauma #trauma #traumacore #ventcore #actuallytraumatized #actuallyptsd #childhood ptsd #vent post #trauma vent #actually ptsd

[nothing0fnothing]

As a young girl in the church I was taught to "respect myself."

We were told it from every angle. Our teachers, our preachers, our parents. "As a woman you have to respect yourselves." "How can men respect you if you're not respectful of yourself?"

I'm not sure why an 11 year old girl needed tips on how to make men respect her, but they felt it was important nonetheless.

So I educated myself and spoke my mind. I wanted to be respected for how clever I was. I asked questions that were thoughtful and well reasoned, I corrected elders when they were wrong and I focused on knowing as much as I could.

They didn't like that.

So I put all that aside, and instead I learned about feminism. I decided I should be respected for how firm I was. I said no loudly and clearly. I made my boundaries known and I reacted loudly when they were crossed.

They didn't mean like that either.

So instead, I put myself in therapy. I wanted to be respected for how self assured I was. I started caring for myself and putting me first. I healed from my trauma and learned how to not repeat old cycles, and everyone who I could, I brought them up with me.

They didn't like that at all.

No, apparently the type of self respect they wanted me to learn was the type where I beleived lies at face value, said nothing to those who crossed my boundaries and wallowed in depression and toxic cycles. But also like, while keeping my shoulders covered or something.

Silly me.

#religious trauma #anti religion #vent post #toxic parents #childhood trauma #feminist #intersectional feminism #radical feminism #feminism #feminism is for everyone

[fragmented-artist]

X

Blaine

#cptsd #actually traumagenic #dissociative identity disorder #actually ptsd #actually traumatized #post traumatic stress disorder #traumagenic system #actually did #ptsd #traumatized #religious trauma #domestic abuse #dv survivor #survivor #complex ptsd #tw ptsd #c ptsd #cptsd vent #traumacore #trauma survivor #trauma #abuse #tw abuse #anxiety #emotional abuse #blaine

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Do not pray for me, for your god denied me and I denied him

I killed your god and he killed me

#snake's text post #ramble #vent #religion tw #religion #religious trauma

[ddogdeath]

did you make me this way just so you could abandon me?

“God Turn Me Into a Flower” by Weyes Blood // credit unknown // credit unknown// E.Doe on Flickr // Thomas Daggett, The Prophecy // Andrew Joseph White, Hell Followed With Us // Karen Hunnicutt on Flickr // @/notbecauseofvictories, “from chrysopoetics” // credit unknown

#religious trauma #religious trauma vent #exvangelical #ex catholic #ex christian #web weaving #vent post

[melodicmelancholia]

#sorry for being depressing #dark aesthetic #insecure #sadblr #lonliness #irl yandere #obsessive love #dark academia #yandere #sadgirl #sad thoughts #depressing shit #sadcore #vent post #just cptsd things #religious trauma #traumacore #trauma #ventcore #dark #darkcore

[hulahoopsoupgroup]

last night i reached a real turning point with my views on evangelical christianity.

i overheard my mother whispering to my father from the other room, telling him that i ruined her life by being gay. that i ruined everything for her and i had the "audacity" to ask for therapy to help my mental health (which i cant afford).

and i just kinda snapped internally. it was like this rockslide came crashing down on the road behind me and prevented me from ever turning back.

before, i was fed up with christianity, but that kind of sealed the deal that im never going to put up with anything to do with evangelical christianity, not holidays, not a single worship song, nothing.

it just felt like, idk, like a became a new person. it felt like the old me just fuckin, died. i renamed myself. i just, dont feel like my old self anymore. and idk how to feel about that

#ex fundie #ex fundamentalist #exvangelical #atheist #deconstruction #deconversion #deconstructing christianity #ex religious #religious trauma #lgbt #queer #lesbian #tw slight abuse? #is this emotional abuse? #vent post #ex christian

[wildfeather5002]

I hate it when xtians reduce my religious trauma to "a religious person said something mean to you once so now you're mad at religion".

Like, shut the fuck up. My trauma isn't just someone being a little rude to me once, it was systematic, deliberate manipulation with the threat of possible eternity of suffering in Hell if I didn't obey religious rules and "keep Christ in my heart". It was "Nonbelievers burn in a lake of eternal fire. Tell your friends to convert to our faith or they'll be damned for eternity".

I have suffered from anxiety, ocd and other mental health issues for several fucking years because of this shit. I've suppressed my sexuality and felt terrible guilt just for the 'sin' of having sexual thoughts. I've feared for my loved one's souls, genuinely believing they would go to Hell for simply not being xtians and that I'd never see them again in the afterlife.

These beliefs are sick and twisted. What I went through was sick and twisted.

I seriously don't know what to say to you if you still think telling anyone, let alone a child, that they're going to be damned for eternity if they disobey 'God's word' is totally fine and not abusive.

Know your fucking place and stop speaking over trauma survivors who have been hurt by your shitty religion.

#ex religious #religious trauma #fuck christianity #anti christianity #anti purity culture #ex christian #ex baptist #fuck conservatives #anti conservative #right wing nut jobs #conservative insanity #online drama #vent post #vent tag #tw hell mention #tw eternal damnation #hell tw

[ragamuffinmox]

she just like me fr

#$h tumblr #$hblr #ed bllog #$elf h4rm #personal vent #really depressing stuff #religious trauma #shitpost #sewercide #tw depressing stuff #so cringy #slef harm #depressing shit #tw self destructive behavior #tw self destruction #tw self destructive thoughts #self mutalition #just venting #vent post #vent blog #this is cringy #cannibalistic #cannibal corpse #cannibalposting #cringe

[diamondwolfart]

Quite a personal doodle with Fyodor because yes

#diamondwolfart #my art #I never mentioned in my posts the meaning of this drawing but since tags exist why not #when I was a kid I carved crosses into my rooms walls #Fyodor is my free religious trauma venting mechanism #I love him #btw I still have those crosses on my walls to this day #I think I numbered around 6 or 7 but the rest faded away #Fyodor BSD #Fyodor #fanart #BSD fanart #bungou stray dogs #digital art #art #illustration #artwork #human art #fanart BSD #bungo stray dogs fanart #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd

[toashesireturn]

absolutely insane take from the priest this past sunday but apparently he doesn't consider marriages only carried out at the courthouse and not through the church as real marriages so if you got married and didnt get a specifically catholic marriage then having sex is still a sin. absolutely baffling take along with the rest of the purity culture bs he was spouting

#shay speaks #ex catholic #ex christian #purity culture #new post from shay on the vent blog yippie!!!!! /s #sorry i cant stop thinking about this like is it that important to you. #my gf and i arent super religious so i cannot imagine we'll have a religious ceremony if we do get married one day #i would prefer not to but if she wants it then i'm not gonna say no either #but that's besides the point like. idk man a marriage is a marriage does it really have to be through the church to count #what if you got married before you converted do you have to get. remarried? #thats more rhetorical idk how many people are converting post-marriage if they didnt marry a catholic #ie my dad who i do not think has actually been confirmed or gone through the conversion process #and yet he takes communion anyway which is such a big no no in the catholic church

[fragmented-artist]

X

Grace

#religious trauma #vent art #cptsd #actually cptsd #did system #actuallytraumagenic #actually traumatized #actually traumagenic #dissociative identity disorder #physically disabled #actually ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #traumagenic system #traumacore #artist on tumblr #artwork #original art #depression #csa survivor #ramcoa #ramcoa survivor #ramcoa system #hcdid #grace

[writterings]

man i hate how you can't escape christianity anywhere like even just walking outside your house, you'll see something undeniably christian.

#also i hate how much good omens stuff is in the religious trauma tag #let me look at vent posts and aesthetic traumacore shit not fandom shit #also why do so many christian's post in the religious and christian trauma tags like fuck off lol

[ablogfordealingwithmybullshit]

Sometimes I wish that Christians who aren't extremists could just fucking shut up about it. Like we GET IT. You're sorry us traumatized folks went through shit. You think the extremists that hurt us are doing Christianity wrong. That's GREAT. You think everyone deserves god's love. That's GREAT. Please stop apologizing for people who don't love us. Please stop trying to justify why you still follow Christianity knowing its flaws. And for the LOVE OF GOD please stop saying "God loves everyone" or shit like that because WE FUCKING KNOW. We know and that's NOT reassuring, if it was we would have stayed.

#vent post #ex christian #look this is highly personal and unfair to people that's why it goes on the vent blog #i am not the arbiter of the correct way to interact with religiously traumatized folks #if anyone takes this as a serious indictment of what to do if you're a christian who feels bad about the way christians treat people #i will be the first to punch you #don't take this too seriously #got it? #good

[samvents]

[ID text — The moral of the story is, I will gut you if I need to. I will carve my way out with only my teeth.]

#sam posts #source: pinterest #religious trauma #trauma #traumacore #actuallytraumatized #ventcore #actuallyptsd #vent post #🫀 folder