#like i can understand missing high school sometimes and remembering the friends you made and the things you got to do

[litrallytyrus]

also it’s been days but i still can’t believe they made ej say “there is nothing in this world like high school” oh my god SHUT UPPPPPP SHUT UPPP!!!! BOOOOOOO THROWING TOMATOES 🍅🍅🍅 BOOOO

#like dude what are you talking about #like i can understand missing high school sometimes and remembering the friends you made and the things you got to do #and it’s easy to romantize the whole thing once you’re not there #but like …. be serious man LOL #high school was fine but i think maybe everything else in the world is better ? #just a thought ….. #to any high schoolers watching that scene: HES LYING!!!!!! #LIFE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL ONCE YOURE OUT OF THAT WRTECHED PLACE!!! #i enjoyed high school but i’m still thankful to not be there! #ej caswell #hsmtmts #really my biggest complaint of the whole season!

[oncillabrigade]

I feel like I see a lot of fan authors/artists depicting Jason and Tim (and sometimes Steph) as unrelentingly mean to Damian in public, and that doesn't ring true to me. I haven't read the comics since before Damian was introduced (Wayne Family Adventures pulled me back in, and oh man there are fun DC comics these days!) so maybe I'm missing some canon examples of that... but I feel like every single child in that family gets how awful it is to be in the spotlight at a young age. They remember how awkward and exhausting it was to always smile for the camera, always be perfectly behaved, always uphold the ideal of what a Wayne adoptee should be. It didn't matter how you felt; you had to act the part. And they wouldn't make that harder for anyone.

Detailed thoughts below the fold!

Acting like a Perfect Wayne Kid™️ must be easier for Tim than for his siblings, because he was already playing that game as a Drake. But that doesn't mean it wasn't excruciating, especially for someone as introverted and wonderfully weird as Tim. Honestly, I think he'd be a mine of useful information for the later additions to the family!

I can see him at a charity dinner next to Cass, indicating which utensil comes next, murmuring, "I know, it's ridiculous. And there's no real reason, which makes it so hard to remember. But you're doing great." I can see him helping Duke practice the "right" laugh before a party: "Not too loud, not too real, not too many teeth showing. These people are terrified of genuine emotion, but in a shittier way than Bruce is." And I can most certainly see him talking Damian through how to leave a room when there are TOO. MANY. PEOPLE and the walls are closing in, showing him escape routes at different venues, explaining, "you don't want to use the bathroom excuse too many times in a row. People notice and tabloids start saying you have an eating disorder. I'll text you a list of alternate reasons to leave a conversation."

What I cannot see is Tim leaving anyone out to dry in the hell of high society. Even if Dami were driving him NUTS, I don't think Tim would call him a brat, insult him outright, or badmouth him to others. I think the worst thing he'd do is roll his eyes with humorous exaggeration and say, "okay, Damian, you've done your little brotherly duties--go talk to your friends, okay?" He could be SEETHING about a horrific fight 30 minutes before their appearance and play it off as, "haha, well, all brothers bug each other sometimes." And then he'd pivot, flawlessly, to a positive comment about the whole family, Dami included. Tim Drake, world champion of compartmentalization, fiercely loyal and kindhearted, is not giving the press a single bad word about his siblings. He is smiling and saying all the right things.

And then... then, there's Jason.

Jason understands, firsthand, how hard being inducted into the world of Perfect Wayne Behavior™️ is. Can you imagine Jason Peter Todd going through that? It's not just that he was in a new world, where money and food and clothes were a given, not a hard-won prize. It's not just that there were a million new rules to memorize (how to wear a suit, inscrutable dining etiquette, passive aggression instead of speaking your mind when angry, etc.). It's not just that he was suddenly thrust in the limelight at a young age, thrown in at the deep end of child stardom. It's not just that he was inevitably compared to Dick, who's naturally charismatic in a way that made his rambunctiousness forgivable by Gotham's elite. It's not just that he was simultaneously learning to be a Wayne AND a Robin, which was both mentally and physically exhausting.

No, it was all that PLUS who Jason was when he had just been adopted. Picture him: a kid from Crime Alley, recently out of a school for troubled youth, mourning the loss of his mother, and WAY too fucking smart not to see the condescension in the eyes of his new dad's peers. He was treading water constantly in every aspect of life, occasionally managing to float... all while the press and high society watched intently and judged him like he was swimming in the Olympics. Being Robin gave him magic, but god, he must have used so much of it up on just getting through public appearances.

I refuse to believe that someone who went through that would belittle or humiliate anyone doing the same. Especially when it comes to Damian. Damian, who comes from a world where physical prowess is the ultimate trump card, now trapped in a conversation where mentioning that prowess means he loses status. Damian, who knows the worst physical pain you can imagine and takes it as all in a day's work, struggling to contain his disdain for someone complaining about their tennis elbow. Damian, who was exposed to the worst aspects of humanity before he could form permanent memories, staring in disbelief at a kid his age saying the teacher who gave them an hour of detention is SO evil. Damian, who had mastered the rules of the League, discovering that the rules of Gotham high society are SO different that his prior knowledge is actively disadvantaging him.

I cannot imagine Jason seeing Damian as anything other than a fellow kid trapped in the pool with all eyes on him.

So Jason will do what he's always done: stand up for someone in need. Because Damian IS in need, no matter how much of a pain-in-the-ass he might be. That means Jay is telling the press about how smart Damian is, how good he is with animals, how proud the whole family is of his art. It means he's wearing suit pants with deep pockets so Damian's emotional support plushie is on hand at all times. It means he's using his bulk to clear the way to the balcony when the kid needs air and quiet. It means he's verbally eviscerating the posh knob who called Dami a brat, because NO ONE outside the family gets to say that shit about Jason fucking Todd's baby brother.

I don't care how annoyed they are with each other--bat kids hang together in the face of danger. And make no mistake: being a Perfect Wayne™️ is one of the most dangerous missions they face.

#batfam #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #duke thomas #damian wayne #edited for grammar and formatting

[athena-swords]

Pick a pile reading

The main character energy you are coming in.what your friends think of you.what is your charm(intutive)

Disclaimer:It is the believer of the craft which knows what is to be taken and what to not so be mindful of it.

Here are the piles...

Pile 1

Hey pile 1 hope so you all are doing good.ohh this pile definitely have got the vibes so we can see a very confident and firey person in this pile those who are the 'popular' person in high school.Takes stand for what feels right and is loud about their thoughts. Some of you can be migrants or just love traveling the person you look in the streets and be like wish it could me one day. Winning and lots of small victories.

What your friends think of you?

Most of them think you are above average in your craft.The friends which gives great advice they may think you very much like to live in your own fairytale and sometimes will have to remind you of that.A competition they have to keep up with in carrer or school take what fits. Someone who have a balance lifestyle and don't have to dwell on management of their finances much.

What is your charm(intuitive)

Could smell expensive, femme vibes ,intense eye contact,lol I heard taste so idk take how you want,mysterious understanding of things (I hope u understand what I mean).

Pile 2

Hiii  pile 2 hope so the winters are giving you not so much of trouble  maybe people is you as a helper or more of a saver I am  Getting such a BAD BITCH energy from you but not that bitchy kind its more like if you mess with me or my people you are gone. you are kind at the same time you and pile 1 are a bit similar so you can check out that too if you want. life of the party or just someone who lives the  moment .a competitive person who like to WIN like its gives them the kick,validation, self confidence  what ever you would like to take it as . if you are seeing number 9 repeatedly you need to do a self introspection -message from your guides.....

What your friends think of you?

okay right of the bet your friends  konw how much efforts you put on the things you desire for (maybe you dont get the results soon though) they see your cute bratty side and love it as many of ur friends dont mind pampering you.ur love language could be gifting or just being there comforting them.all of ur friends are glad that you just know that they feel and what to say.BTW one of your friends might be missing  now as you are busy these days and not get to connect much they would like to go on outings again.

ok see from the energies I am getting I can say that your friends group genuinely care for you like all of them but just be careful of those whom you dont trust

What is your charm(intuitive)

bad bitch ,warm hugs in winter ,tired ,not sassy but can be...  at times, manifesting clear skin,2022 taught you about____

Pile 3

heyy my babies I hope you have learned your lessons like life been so hard on you like sooo fucking hard you are like the warrior who becomes more strong after each wounds yaa like I was not getting the right words for you  all my love goes to you like you know the character who goes through every shit but comes victorious at the end you are that bitch and never let yourself think anything less than that  you have overcome the worst so just hold on a bit and you will see that there is a happy journey written for you too and people who made you feel like you are nothing are gonna get there fruits dont worry YOU DO YOU .see maybe you dont had those happy memories or teen life hack I would even say childhood life but belive me when I say everything you imagined yourself doing you will be soon pursuing it your guides are telling you to just wait for a little bit until then remember they are there for you.maybe something or someone who you thought as your saviour left you or were not what you thought they were but dont worry the universe sees what you dont they were not someone you needed in your life they would have done more bad than good 

What your friends think of you?

you hardly have friends dont you or whom you can truly call your friend so been betrayed by a friend haa they left you out or were keeping you in the dark but dont take the blame they are just a ill moral and maniplative person but there is surly a childhood friend or a friend who is romantically interested in you darling I am just so sorry that I am not getting what they think but more about the situation IG you need these messages more as your guides are strongly giving these messages as last this friend or lover  admires the strength you have shown and are happy that you are trying to move on and not repeat the patterns within 4 to 6 months you will be meeting people who not only match your vibes but will understand you and guide you there they all will be probably more mature or eolder than you.hoping the best for you.

What is your charm(intuitive)

lo lita, my bag -song, counting starts-song, pitch dark, ghilbi studio character vibes, grand launch, muffins.

Do give feedback as it has been a log ass time .

#moon child #witch community #baby witch #astrology #pick a card #pick a pile #athena swords #tarot deck #tarot #tarot readings #athena #athena-swords #diviniation #occult #daily life #frienship #friends

[forthechubbies]

Yungi's Big Bois Arc:

How tiny met the big Boys/Dating them

♡= Naughty

Honestly, I can't remember how you met them in detail but it was something along the lines romance encounter. They saved.

The wholesome twins finished their reps that Saturday evening exiting the gym Yunho rubbing his palms on his sore knees. "I'm feeling heading to Honey pot to celebrate our workout streak. " He snorted, clearly aware of how ridiculous that sounds- "Dang, not even a pity laugh."

Yunho turned but his mini giant's attention stolen by other and what a cute other You are-Minnie bashfully ogling your slight jelly jiggle-

The extra inch on Yunho made all the difference. "Oh.." she is a little cutie.

"Woo, Honey, I'm coming. I have to walk there first." The baggage overwhelmed your arms, luxuary shopping bags for Wooyoung (Ceo/Boss/Best friend), files under your arm, and Wooyoung's coffee in one hand.

Wooyoung tsked, "Wah, I told you to let Niles drive you. That's a lot of stuff to carry, Dumpling." His slender eyes grew when the clock strike, He gasped. "You've been gone for thirty-five minutes. I'm coming to get you! stand by a landmark!" Wooyoung clicked his tongue-

"Wooyoung! I'm fine quite being a worried, dummy." You giggled, rolling your eyes.

"Cute." Mingi mumbled, embarrassed by his sudden high school crush on a complete stranger.

Yunho on the other hand, shameless would be his middle name if he had one. I don't understand how you couldn't feel the heat beaming for his stare at your shape (Even the good boys do it sometimes) . Perfect shape for my hands. He giggled, leaning on Minnie's shoulder in a sassy pose. "You should totally like talk to her."

"What-" Minnie's face drowned in crimson as fast as his adam's apple jumps.

"Dummy?! Yah! I'm definitely coming to get you now and when I get you in this office, My belt is going across your ass!" Wooyoung's anger often slips out in the oddest ways. The sound of aggressive keys rattling alarmed you he was serious. " Girls go missing damn near everyday, here and my little Dumpling is not on the menu!"

"Wooyoung, I'm fine-"

"You know what, I'm just gonna call San on you and let him handle you." Wooyoung witch laughed blast through your burning ear.

You screamed slightly, before curling into yourself. "That's not funny, Wooyoung and unprovoked too."

Sooo Choi San, Yes, The Dilf Fire Chief was heavily intoxication when he threatened Wooyoung with spanking you if he plucked his last nerve and Wooyoung (being the demon he is) loves seeing Sannie angry.

In result, You can still make out his large handprint on your bare bottom, Wooyoung now has a new favorite memory, and Mr.Choi doesn't remember a thing.

"I'm already on the way, I'm halfway there." Clouded with embrassment, You were extremely eager to the point you were absent-mindly walked into busy street.

All the while, on the other end, Wooyoung was scolding you on not paying attention and being safe.

You sighed. "You're such a worry wart-!" You squeaked being abruptly snatched by two large hands yanking you back to safety.

You were aghasted as one of the giants nearly kissed your hand as his lips aimed for your phone to say. "She's lying. She almost got ran over."

Wooyoung actually did spank you that day.

After this encounter, The fate's red thread immediately entangled your lonely string to Yungi's radiant bond.

Dating the boys

Jeong Yunho

♡ You were quick to realize this man seems to have a high tolerance for nonsense. He chuckles and giggles at most things.

♡ Which is terrible because his smile makes you melt.

♡ Public Display of Affection is this mountain of a man's bread and butter. Slipping his hands around your tummy to give his chub a good squeeze.

On the subject of Affection, My goodness is he handsy, whether it's a quick pinch or a good helping handful, if you're around his hands are never by his side.

The man needs you on him to function, you're often found on his lap doing your own work as he does his.

♡ He's a chipper fellow who enjoys his pillow and his Minnie to himself, he's moderately possessive but Yunho can maintain his composure...most of the time.

♡Loves your bestie, Wooyoung, Finds him hilarious especially his witchy laugh.

♡ He's bigger than you so that cheap "I can't fit your shirt." ain't gonna work on his big boy.

♡ He knows! He knows! Your not a toy but he is barley grasping his sanity as his thumb hovers over the purchase button to the naughty little costumes that would enhance his view of his (He calls your chubbines his) chub you disrespectfully cover even at home. Damn, Give the man some type skin.

Yunho favorite is *Looks round* the cow outfit, it became a odd fantasy after he fell asleep on a farming document.

♡ Lucky/Unlucky for him, You bought the outfit by accident after Yunho gave you free range of his Amazon as a birthday present since him and Minnie couldn't be there. You purchased the whole cart not realizing the naughty extra item til it came to your door step.

Despite the oblivious lewdness, You actually believed it was appropriate enough to greet your Big Boys at the door in such a state. "Moo!" You giggled. "Get it!? I said Moo instead of Boo."

God, Your a grown woman, How can you be so innocent?

Yunho's smile was radiant."Minnie, You like it, right?" Your heels clicked on the hardwood floor until they were at the big boots of your quiet boyfriend. "You think I'm pretty, right?" Your voice soften from your lack of confidence.

Yunho bit his tongue while completely escaping upstairs, leaving poor Minnie defenseless to handle you while he tends to a much bigger problem.

You curiously sniffed, fighting back tears as Mingi's mouth just to close before he ghosted his large hand over your head and shoulder yet decided to reach for the throw across the couch; tossing it over your head, kissing your lips and dashing upstairs.

You were heartbroken and spent the night at Wooyoung's. Meanwhile, The next day painted a new issue for the men having to clean up..and fix most of the bedroom.

♡ You can't lie to him, he knows everything. If your sad, he knows, If you feeling insecure, He knows, If you hungry, Period pain, He knows. And the best part, he will always do something about it with all his power because your his tiny terror.

♡ He calls you Tiny terror because your temper tantrum are no joke, You stomp your little feet at him, point your finger, yelling in that cute voice at him. Even funnier when it's do to his teasing .

♡ He's goofy but firm....sometimes.

♡ Hearing him be assertive for the first time was scary. Yes, Scary. You were seated right on Yuyu's lap, speaking to Wooyoung on the phone while Yuyu watched Minnie happily play with Mr. Choi's twin boys.

It was all fun til the boys started fighting and getting far too rowdy-

"Enough!" Yuyu loud command, startled not just the boys, you were sure you heard the neighbors straighted up as well.

Yet his resilient smile was bright not even his eyes showed malice.

He rubbed your goosebumps away...by caressing your ass through your skirt. "You two shouldn't fight, your brothers. He's your best friend, right." Kai shook his head. "And he's your bestfriend?" Boo shook his head quick like his brother. "Then don't fight, please."

"Sorry, Yuyu Oppa," The twins apologized before playing again as if nothing happened.

♡ Big fan of your work uniform. You look great in pencil skirts. The maniac will chase you to see you struggle to run away from his playful rawrs and large monstrous coming to eat you whole!

He does it randomly but he is fond of getting you when you step in the door after work.

Your screech was close to the damsel in distress in the 30's horror movie, It was seemingly so real, Mingi sprinted to your rescue from the other room; the poor thing was sound asleep the evidence imprinted on his pink face.

"Yuyu!" You screamed, after putting up a good chase, Yunho scooped you up with ease.

Slightly out of breath, He laughs. "How was work?"

♡ Loves to carry you around like a toddler with their favorite blankie.

♡ You three are adorable central when headed out on a night run for food-Matching Pajamas. I'm going to leave this here.

♡ What's so dangerous about this man? He holds power of secret-He knows everybody secrets, Remember, especially your obsession with their voices, hands, size and more.

♡ He teased innocently by whispering a plain question in your ear at the grocery store.

♡ Purposely, allows his huge hands to swallow yours when you accidentally brush your hands on his.

Song Mingi

♡ This guy.Pervert.Period. He loves every inch of you so much, locked away is a golden treasure chest housing polaroids of your daily lifestyle, nothing too bad-....well, there is the one unlike its brothers this picture isn't a polaroid but a digital hidden gem in his gallery, it's you comfortably snuggled against his chest usually Hyung keeps you under him for most of the night but there you were, Your soft breaths hit his chest in which a beautiful rhythm, he felt the argue to hum.

The fluffy feeling turned quite spicy as he wanted to snag a picture of his bunbun it wasn't until after the picture was taken, Mingi's eyes immediately spotted the swell of your breast spilling out of your nightgown.

He gulped, switching his view for the real thing. Mingi scooted down the bed, disregarding the icy chill of his barefeet hanging off the mattress, it's all worth it for this moment-

Finding instant comfort in the beautiful sloppiness of your plushy cleavage mushed against his face.

Best sleep he's had in years...Anyway.

I feel like you guys don't understand how much of a undercover simp Mingi really is. I mean do I have to start naming things?! Fine, You asked for this!

♡ Yunho made a rule of Mingi not being alone with you for a reason

♡He's just a teenage boy in a big man's body and big daddy Yunho knows this so to save you for Mingi's hentai fantasies, he keeps him on a tight leash.

♡Mingi is not allowed to be alone with you, touch you, kiss you-It's harsh but fair. Minnie doesn't know his own strength, if we are being completely honest most of the broken stuff in the house is because of him.

°Small 🔞, Oops°

♡ His favorite fleshlight render useless after you walked into their lives. Fuck, How could he want this bullshit flimsy toy when all he needs to do is go to your job, take you to the bathroom and ******-

Sorry, late nights of unsatisfied hentai searching destroyed the poor man.

♡ Hardy speaks a word to you during dates and outings, to be fair, Mr.Song isn't much of a talker anyway.

♡But he's always listening, The big puppy can snuff out your dislikes and faves, and also you.

♡ He can smell you for a miles away. I'm not kidding, One time at a festival, You let go of Yunho's hand and dashed into the crowd chasing after god knows what.

They're arent worried at first but when five minutes passed and golden twins can smell danger!

"Aish! I can't see her!" Yunho cried, all that height and for what. "Minnie, We-" His mouth hangs open to discover his pup missing. "Yah! Mingi?!"

Already caught in his strong arms, He held you for the first time without hesitation or jerk his body away the second it touch yours and reducing himself into a human puddle.

Nope, This is Mingi.

"Why? Are you crazy?" His snuffer fear the metallic smell in the air. "Shit, You cut yourself!" He carried his bride back to the extra large crybaby welcoming you guys with open arms and some firm words for you.

♡ This marks the first time, Mingi actually spoke to you. It stunned you more than anything. You didn't know what you expected, He's big so it only makes sense for his voice to be deep too..like Yuyu...

So it's normal nothing special. You gulped, blocking out their deep voices clouding the car.

♡ You grew addicted to his voice.

#ateez x chubby reader #ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #yungi x reader #yungi x chubby reader #ateez smut #yunho x reader #yunho x chubby reader #mingi x chubby reader #mingi x reader

[criminalskies]

Rome ugh helpppp! I’m dying over seeing these young TG pics and they’re making me think of fratboy!Hotch but also I’m in the mood for hotch angst 😅

Like imagine Aaron and reader going to the same boarding school and they def had a thing with each other but he started dating someone else because he chickened out/didn’t think he had a shot with reader? But what really sucked is that he and reader had a falling out bc of a rumor Hotch’s gf at the time started since she was jealous of reader? And they never talk the rest of boarding school 🥺

Thennnnn they start college at GWU and reader’s friend takes them to a frat party since friend’s significant other is a member of said frat where they see Aaron as frat pres! And all the memories come flooding back of the man they loved 😭 but then reader tries to escape and oh no, they’re spotted by AARON who stops them from leaving?

Then they have a brief convo but reader ends up crying and running away and our poor boy is🥲

So then since the incident, reader’s friend and Hotch are in cahoots to try to get reader and Aaron to FINALLY get together and everything’s not working!! But one day reader and friend walk to a spot special to reader and surprise surprise AARON is there all nervous and shy with a cute picnic with all the fancy fairy lights and readers food! And reader tries to stay mad at him but then our boy starts crying and says how sorry he is and how much he never stopped loving reader. Then they have a mature adult conversation, kiss and FNALLY get together 😊

Sorry if that was long, my Hotch brain goes wild sometimes lol

fratboy!hotch honestly runs my mind 24/7 tbh because when hotch was even a little bit young and wild and free there would be nothing and i mean nothing stopping me from falling head over heels for him.

I headcanon hotch as having had a fling or two at boarding school, in my mind this was when he explored his more bicurious side but I can basically just see him falling for somebody at boarding school because what the hell else is there to do once your homework is all done?? But omg poor reader :(((((( having him be too much of a baby to pursue you, so you two stay friends but then he lets some stupid girlfriend ruin his connection with his favourite person bc he wasn't brave enough to stand up for you the way you deserved!

So then, like all high school crushes and squashed friendships, the two of you drift apart, finding your own circles with whom you feel involved, but not seen the way your person used to see you. Reader knows no one will ever understand them like Aaron did, when he was theirs. :( and vice versa. I just know that as Aaron grows as a person and matures socially he realises he should have defended you with every bone in his body. He should never have let old girlfriends he didn't even really love ruin his relationship with you, the one real person he ever met in high school. He misses you now but he knows he ruined his chances and now you don't really want to hear from him, he doesn't even think he deserves your forgiveness. Deep down he knew you had feelings for him, and he knew how badly it would have hurt you when he didn't defend you against those kids. He knew they saw him as one of them so he could have made a real difference but now he knows how badly he blew it. How badly he hurt you.

So when your friend drags you to his frat party, he takes it as a sign, a sign that the universe is trying awfully hard to give him another shot. He sees you before you see him and he puts his drink down, abandoning his game of beer pong in favour of trying to make amends with you. But when you look up and see his tall frame crossing the room to come find you, you panic. All you can remember is the teasing and the painful words his ‘friends’ spoke to you and how he stood by letting them just have at you. Even when the rumour spread across the entire school, it was all too late for him to stop it, but he could have defended you. He could have told the truth. He *should* have told the truth.

So you feel your fingers and toes getting cold, your face getting hot at the memory as you tap your friend on the shoulder, waving a goodbye and you bolt. But moving through crowds at your height is never easy, and guys take your persistent pushing as a sign you want to grind on them on the dance floor, one of them grabbing you by the waist and bringing himself towards you, but you shove him off. You eventually make it to the open front door, Greek lettering marking the entrance but it’s guarded by a familiar face. Aaron.

You tell him you have to go, that you shouldn’t be here, and he says he’ll walk you back to your dorm then. Ever the gentlemen (only when it least seems to matter). But then he says it. He calls you ‘red’. Only Aaron ever got to call you red because only Aaron knew the way your ears grew red whenever you were about to swing your fist at someone. When your anger bubbled up so high you’d just explode. Funnily enough, it’s him saying that this time that makes your ears grow red, as tears gather in your eyes. Your jaw is clenched tight as you tell him he lost EVERY right to call you that after what he put you through. After he left you to fend for yourself with those, those snakes. You don’t quite have it in you to punch him, a piece of you forever loving the shy, bright little boy who had changed your whole perspective on life. You settle for smacking your hands against his chest, unable to contain the hurt you still feel for how he left you.

He looks confused, trying to grab your hands and stop you from pounding against his chest and you realise, then that he never knew. No one ever told him you could hear him backstage at your school play, when his mic was still on. The whole school heard him spinning a web of lies about how you were head over heels for him and he’d had to fight you off with a chair and a whip. He never knew you stormed out of the school auditorium and had to lock yourself in your room for the last week of school term. He never knew how much you cried over what he did. How he lied to his friends to make himself seem cooler. He never told them how HE had been the one to admit he had feelings. How HE had pulled you in for a kiss, then pushed you off when the closet door opened and his girlfriend started telling everyone there that night what a slut you were. How you pined for him.

He really is that stupid. You push yourself away from him, stomping off towards your dorm, telling him that if he wants to talk to you ever again, you’ll be the one operating the chair and the whip. He stands crestfallen on the path, mind reeling with memories of when he’d used those words against you. He feels the air sucked from his lungs by the cold night air and he’s frozen there. He realises now why you’d made such an effort never to see him again. He realises now how he’d sunk his knife into your back that night.

You go about your life on campus, getting to know your professors, your classmates, and trying desperately hard not to think about a certain raven haired boy who you really wanted to forget even existed right now. Until one day, your friend called you, telling you to meet them under the secluded trees, behind the southern field of campus for a smoke so you could finally spill to her what had happened that night at the party to make you run away so fast.

Only when you arrive, your friend is nowhere to be seen. Instead, Aaron is there. Wearing his high school letterman jacket, with the most hopeful, sad look on his face. He has a bouquet of flowers and jars of fairy lights decorate the big blanket. There’s handmade pastries and your all time favourite, red velvet cupcakes waiting for you. You cross your arms, excited to hear just what he has to say for himself. And then a tear slides down his beautiful cheek, as he tells you how sorry he is for being a lovestruck idiot. He tells you he was infected with cooties and he was letting his dick think for him instead of his brain and that he should have defended you, and there is no excuse for what he did. He tells you more importantly how terrified he was when he couldn’t find you at school that next week. He tells you how he drove by your house on his way to school every morning hoping he’d see you walking out towards the bus stop, or that he’d see your light on in your room, but he never did.

Your mom came out one morning, heading to work and told him you’d gone to live with your dad in Washington. And his heart shattered. He felt so helpless and sick he thought it might have stopped. He never knew you’d heard him that night, but that’s no excuse for him ever even saying those things. What he should have said; was how much he loved you. He should have told his buddies in the play about how you’re the only reason he ever even made the football team, because you were there to push him harder each time he wanted to quit. You got him his scholarship to GWU. He owes his life to the little girl whose braces got caught on her bracelet. He would give anything to be able to go back and tell her how much he loved her beautiful hair and her buttercup lunchbox. But most importantly, how much he loved her spirit. Her smile that could pull his head out of his father’s revolving stormcloud around Aaron’s home. Her laugh that could cut through the thrumming in his ears when he couldn’t answer the teacher’s question because he had copied Red’s homework the night before.

He tells you he will spend his lifetime making it up to you if you’ll let him, because for better or for worse, Miss Grogan had announced the two of you husband and wife in the playground in the first grade. And he made his vows. Your Aaron, promises you that he will uphold them, even if you punch him in the teeth each time you see him. Because he deserves it. After all, he made you Red.

#AAAAAAAAH #how did this end up between a blurb and a real fic #help #I have no sense of moderation #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #rome’s got mail! #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fluff #hotch #Aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner one shot #Aaron hotchner fanfic #Aaron hotchner x fem!reader #Aaron hotchner x f!reader #Aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n #hotch x you #hotch fanfic

[imaginativeavengers]

The Missing Piece: Part Eleven

Description: Living on your own in Brooklyn isn’t an easy  thing. Your work life is awful and your ex-boyfriend is a complete mess.  When you get caught in the sights of two of the most dangerous men in  New York life doesn’t get any easier, but it certainly does get more  interesting.

Summary: It’s time to hear the whole truth. It’s time to make some decisions.

Word Count: 6.7K

Warnings: Smut,  talk of toxic work environment, talk of a toxic previous relationship,  talk poly relationship, talk of disappearance, work anxiety and pressure, slow build, slow burn, mafia AU, mob boss Bucky, mob boss Steve, under 18s dni

Masterlist

<< Part Ten || Part Twelve >>

“Okay, I’m ready. Ask me whatever you want…” The question hung between you both in the dark expanse of the luxurious car. There were so many questions bouncing around your mind that finding a place to begin was difficult. “I mean it, bunny. I don’t want to hide anything from you. Ask me whatever is on your mind, whether it’s about Bucky or me. I won’t hold back, not from you.” There was honesty in his words; if you had any doubt, the quick glance that Steve threw at you conveyed everything you needed to know.

A question that was so meek and simply slipped from your lips before having the chance to stop it. “Why me?” It was burning in your mind, wondering why they had chosen you to pursue out of all the women in New York City. “It wasn’t ever planned. It wasn’t even our intention to have anyone join our relationship. It was supposed to just be a quick fling in the bedroom.” A frown caught your lips. “Buck and I thought that you were two different people at first. It was just our luck that we both happened to find the same chick in the whole city.” Steve chortled lowly. “We both found ourselves wanting to spend more and more time with you. Sure, at first, we both just wanted to fuck your brains out and move on, but then it became something different for us.” His words made your body completely still, your mind tumbling in many different directions, wondering if you should be offended or complimented by the notion.

“How long have you both been together?” It was a quick segue to change the subject away from the more intimate talk, knowing that Steve would likely rather talk about the lewd things than be grilled. “Uh… it’s been a long time now…” You could see that Steve was attempting to delve back into his memories. “I think that James has always been the first love of my life. Ever since we were teenagers, I didn’t understand why but I just loved him with every inch of my heart.” Steve explained like loving Bucky was as easy as breathing air to him. “Bucky and I had grown up together on the same block, but by the time we got to High School, our lives were being pulled in different directions. Bucky was on the football team, set to be the Captain, making all these new friends, girls hanging off him and going to parties with people like Sam.” So, they had known him for a while too. “I was still being beaten up behind the trash cans.”

It was that final comment which surprised you. There was nothing about Steve that would have made you think he was bullied. “Sometimes I started the fights; I just don’t like bullies.” He explained, and it did feel like a true statement, as he said it with such intensity. “Bucky got them to lay off giving me so many black eyes, but it didn’t change them seeing me as this weak loser,” Steve explained. His words were enough to make you frown, hating that he viewed himself like that. “He’d try and get all his friends to like me, taking me to parties too, trying to set me up with his date’s friend, but nothing changed…” Then he shrugged. “I was convinced that Bucky would just leave too. He’d get fed up with trying to convince people to like me, but he never did. He always stayed.” It was almost like Steve was admirable that Bucky hadn’t ditched him. Maybe that was something to admire, Bucky's utter and unfathomable loyalty.

“I’ll always remember the day he first kissed me.” The dreamy look set across Steve’s face as if falling into the memory all over again. “We were alone in his bedroom; I was doing his geometry homework.” Then rolling his eyes as if it was a regular occurrence for him. “From nowhere, he’d asked if I’d kissed anyone before. I lied and said I had; it was embarrassing to admit I hadn’t. Bucky saw right through that lie. He asked again, and I admitted that I’d never kissed anyone, never asked, never been asked.” You could see the smile creeping across his lips like poison spreading. “So, he did… he kissed me, told me it was good practice.” Then he laughed again and shook his head. “I remember him being good.” You smiled warmly at that. Bucky was good at kissing; you’d had some experience with it. “I remember blushing ‘cause he told me I was good.”

Then he laughed. “After that, we practised kissing all the time. Then we moved on to other things; Bucky would teach me things about my body that I didn’t even know.” A warm smile found his lips. “He stopped going on dates after that too. I really felt like I had my Bucky back. These moments that we were sharing were our perfect little secret. That was until one of his friends caught us in the locker room and called us…” Steve huffed a low noise, not even wanting to repeat the word. “He called us vile names. That was enough for Bucky to just beat him bloody. He broke his jaw and nose; he was virtually unrecognisable by the time Bucky was finished with him. After that, Bucky got himself kicked out of school, away from his college scholarship and any hope of a normal future.”

“Sounds like the guy deserved Bucky beating on him.” You decided, unsure if that was the right thing to say aloud. “I thought that too…” Steve replied evenly. “Just wish that Bucky would have chosen a quieter time to do it.” Then shaking his head. “It would have been easy for him to pull away after that, but he didn’t. He stayed. He always stays.” Steve commented, reminiscing about those times that Bucky had chosen him over anyone else, all those times that Bucky had put Steve first.

Before he had a chance to go further into all those times you spoke. “If you two are so in love, why were you looking to have someone else join your relationship?” “Like, I said, it wasn’t planned, bunny. You just fell into our laps.” He shared a longing gaze with you. “The moment that we saw you in the park.” Steve shook his head. “I knew from there that everything was going to change, I recognised that look in Bucky’s eyes, and clearly, he saw something in mine.” Then he smiled, peeking in your direction before looking back towards the empty road. “I had never imagined wanting to bring someone else into the relationship. I love Bucky; the thought of him moony-eyed over someone else or having to share him used to drive me crazy with jealousy but doing that with you just feels so much different.”

“I can’t say it’s anything I’d ever thought about either.” You reasoned. “Becoming the third piece of a couple or being with my boyfriend and wanting to invite someone else into it.” Then looking over at him. “What changed your mind? Or made you start thinking about wanting something like that?”

Steve then laughed. A whole kind of laughter filled the car, then looked over at you. “It was you, bunny.” He said as if it was as clear as glass. “You were what changed everything. The more time we spent with you, the more we fell for you. It was like we were both falling for you, separate from each other. It made sense to us like we had found something missing from our lives. It wasn’t this grand plan to fool you into our bed, bunny – at least, that wasn’t what it became. We wanted you, the same as we wanted each other, more than we wanted anyone else.”

“But…” You seemed frustrated for a moment, struggling to find the correct words. “You told me just how much you loved Bucky. Do you really think that you could give someone that same love? Or… or you wouldn’t feel jealousy when you’d see him loving someone else that way?” These questions seemed to stun Steve, but he quickly recovered and retorted. “Not if it was you.” The answer seemed to give you a great sense of peace. “Hell, Bucky told me about you two sleeping together; I think I’ve been tested and came out the other side wanting more.”

When Steve mentioned your tryst in the sheets with Bucky, you covered your eyes a little and replied. “I can’t believe he told you about that…” “Oh, we don’t keep secrets from each other; he told me everything and left very little to the imagination.”

The final statement made you huff, crossing your arms over your chest. “Well, that’s good to know that you don’t keep secrets from each other but just from me.” Then looking over at him, a little tempered that Bucky had been so open about your night, but they had held back from telling you the truth for such a long time. “Firstly, we kept it secret for a good reason; if we had both just approached you as a couple, it would have freaked you out, and you would have run a mile. No, doing it that way meant we could build our relationships separately and determine if we had chemistry before fully introducing you to the relationship. It was for a good reason.”

“It blindsided me, Steve.” Your voice shook for a moment with emotion. “What the hell was I supposed to think when I saw you both there? Jesus, I thought you’d both been playing me, or it was some big prank. I already thought you guys were too good to be true. I never thought I would find out that you were a couple. I just didn’t see it coming.” “I’m sorry.” He replied honestly, reaching over to place his hand on your knee. “It was never our intention to make you feel like that. As it became real, we knew we needed to come clean.” You frowned. “If I could have made things right… or done things differently, maybe I would have, but if it had meant that I wouldn’t be here right now, driving you back to the city, I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”

Reaching across, he squeezed your knees again, leading you to rest your hand over his own, appreciating his sentiment. “I wish things could have been less complicated.” He reasoned, shaking his head for a moment. A beat of silence enveloped the car. The word complicated spun around your mind, over and over, until finally, you blurted it out. “It wasn’t the most complicated thing you guys lied about, was it?” It was like his skin turned icy under your palm. “A detective looking into my ex-boyfriend’s disappearance told me that James isn’t the type of man I should associate with and told me he was dangerous; when I asked him, he told me that he is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about that, Steve?”

As Steve attempted to answer, you continued, clearly unfinished with your little rant. “Then he approaches my best friend and tells her he has some security company and can help her with her recent break-in. I thought you guys were in finance or investments, so where has this security company been hiding?” He slipped his hand back from your grip, resting it on the wheel before muttering. “Fucking Bucky…” Clearly frustrated, then looking over in your direction. “Jesus, the guy has the subtlety of a house brick.” Then shaking his head, peaking back at you. “I was hoping we might find a more delicate way to talk about all this shit with you.”

“I don’t know how to…” Steve huffed. “We’re in the mob. Fuck it. We are the mob. Our territory spans over Brooklyn and part of Manhattan.” He said it so plainly that it made a laugh suddenly bark from your throat, looking over as if he’d grown a second head and then feeling that smile fade as you witnessed Steve’s face convey no signs of teasing or banter. “That is what Danvers had meant by us not being the type of people you should associate with. She knows because she’s been trying to send us down for a long time.” You could only blink at him; you’d be lying in those thoughts hadn’t crossed your mind, but you always pushed yourself to remember that this was reality and things like this didn’t happen to people like you. “Bunny, I’m going to need you to say something.”

You didn’t know what would be best to say; you gulped and asked lowly. “Pull over.” “What?” “Pull over. The car. Pull it over now. Please…” You pressed, and in a second, Steve indicated off and pulled his car towards the grassy verge. When it stopped, you clambered clumsily from the car and took in a few deep breaths, wheezing as you pressed a hand to your chest. “Bunny…” His voice came from behind you, pressing a hand to your shoulder. “It doesn’t change anything. It’s just our job.” “It changes a lot, actually.” You replied tightly, looking to the side and watching as Ari – still driving your car home – climbed from the car too, ultimately too large to be crammed into that little junker. “Are you too… are in… do you work with them?” You asked.

A tender chuckle came from Ari, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the bonnet, making the entire front end sink as he responded. “So, he told you…” “You can keep driving back, Levinson. I got this.” He urged, a rough edge to his tone. You wanted to demand your keys back, drive yourself home and never talk to any of them again, but Steve caught your eye line and requested tenderly. “Please, will you let me explain?” Crossing your arms over your chest, stepping back to keep a distance between you two, then nodding.

“Okay, good.” Steve let out a soft breath, glad he had the chance to try and resolve this issue. “Do you wanna get back in the car? I can keep driving us back home whilst I explain.” By now, Ari had wandered to clamber into your car again, turning over the engine and tearing down the street away from you two. “No.” “No, okay. Okay, that’s fine.” Then nodded, moving backwards to lean against the car. He hated that you seemed so visibly closed off from him, standing there with your arms crossed, hands clenched, jaw tight. “I know it must be a lot to have to hear. You can ask me anything; I’ll tell you the truth.”

The silence that drifted across you two was palpable, Steve wanted to rush over and wrap you in his arms, assure you that nothing would be different, promise that nothing from their nefarious world would ever reach you or your family, but he had been in the business long enough to know that wasn’t true. “Listen…” He huffed out. “I know, I know it is a lot to take in and believe me when I say that my job makes up such a small part of me, such a small part of Bucky. Yeah, we hurt people, but those are the type of people that need to be hurt.”

You let out a stuttered breath before hissing. “Did you consider Oliver to be one of those people?” For a moment, Steve remained quiet. You gasped, thinking that was the only answer that you needed, turning away from him. “Did you kill him?” “What? No, no!” Steve blurted out. “No, we just taught him a lesson about respect. It was one that little prick needed to learn.” It was hard to argue with Steve on that point. “I have no fuckin’ idea where that kid had run to, but I promise you that last time I saw him, he was alive and breathing.” Looking back at Steve, you said firmly. “It wasn’t like it was some rash decision we made. The guy was threatening to talk to the cops. We scared him a little. That was all we ever wanted to do.”

“Jesus…” You muttered lowly, tugging your hands over your face. “Please… Please tell me that Bucky had nothing to do with Wanda’s break-in.” For a moment, Steve creased his brow before replying. “Like, I said, Bucky isn’t subtle, but his intentions always mean well. I’m sure… I’m sure he was trying to put your friend's mind at ease, right? That must’ve been scary for her to go through something like that. No one wants to feel vulnerable in their own home.” Steve reasoned with such compassion. “Buck just chose the wrong time to approach the matter. It wasn’t some calculated move on his part for more business. Your friends become our friends, bunny, and we look out for our own.”

Again, it was deathly quiet whilst you attempted to compose your thoughts. “How am I supposed to believe you?” The question slipped from your lips with little thought. The feel of his warm hands was suddenly encompassing your shoulders, drawing you backwards gently, so you were pressed to his chest. “I’ve made mistakes, bunny. I’ve done bad and stupid things, but I have always prided myself on being honest and open, especially with the people I care about.” You could feel his shallow breathing pressing into your back over and over. It lulled your eyes shut for a moment, focusing on his voice. “I’m telling you this, knowing it could drive you away from us forever, but I’d rather you know the truth and hate me than continue to lie and scheme.”

His lips brushed against your crown, letting out a soft breath before whispering. “I know I’m being selfish, but I want you to give us a chance; let us prove that we’re not monsters.” “I don’t think you’re monsters.” You whimpered, turning gently in his strong arms, gazing up into those dazzling blue eyes. “I’m just scared.” He went to talk, but you continued before he had the chance. “Not scared of you but scared of the people that don’t like you. I’m scared for my family. I’m scared of my friends. How do I justify putting them in danger because of my selfish feelings?”

“You need to let me worry about that, okay?” Steve pulled you a little harder against him, you attempted to squabble again, but he brushed you off. “I won’t let anything happen to them.” Your eyes didn’t convey any sense of belief. “I’ll post people in Elba to look over your parents. I’ll have people watch over your friends too. If there is a whisper that something will happen, we’ll hit hard and fast first and make them regret even thinking about it.” There was such guttural honesty to his tone. “It’s my promise to you, bunny. Nothing from our business will ever come back to hurt anyone you love.” His warm hands cupped your face, edging you a little higher so you could feel his breath fanning your features. “We can make you happy.”

Your voice got caught in your throat. “Steve.” “Let yourself be happy, bunny.” He urged; voice so soft that your whole body trembled as those tender lips ghosted over your own. “Be selfish.” You weren’t sure if he was speaking to you or him anymore, but in the next moment, his lips crashed into yours in a feverish passion, searing against your skin, one hand cupping your cheeks whistle the other caressing the back of your head.

In a quick second, Steve spun you and pressed you against the side of his sleek car, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue into your mouth the moment you gave him passage. These little groans and grunts were conjuring in his throat, swirling around your mind, making your brain a little cloudy with passion. Just as he tugged back, allowing you to get a couple breaths of air, your eyes fluttered closed, tilting your head back as his lips found your exposed throat. “I want you to be selfish, bunny.” Those dangerous teeth nipped at your jawline, pecking your lips a few times before coaxing you upright again. “Let us love you.” He whispered, connecting you both into another kiss, your mind wholly consumed by Steve and Bucky, wondering if this was something you could consider.

You had always considered yourself just unlucky in love; it never seemed to work out with dates, the guys that would hit on you would never be looking for something more serious than a night between the sheets, and then there was your entire relationship with Oliver that was marred with bad memories. When meeting Steve and Bucky, you thought it was all too good to be true, but you could have never imagined the problems being this life-changing. “You deserve whatever you want in this world,” Steve whispered as he tugged himself away from his lips again, burying his face in your throat. “I want you.” Those three little words slipped out before the rational side of your brain attempted to reason.

Steve made a breathy noise, arms tightly around your frame, moulding you against his body, unwilling to let you slip away at this moment. You hadn’t realised how much you were clinging to him too, arms linked around him, fingers buried into his blonde tresses, just enjoying the weight of him pressing you into the car. You stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. “I’m just scared.” “I know.” He replied, tugging back just a little to gaze into your eyes. “I get it.” Pressing a quaint kiss to your forehead. “Bucky and I won’t let anything happen. Okay?” You nod, wordlessly pressing your head into his chest. “Okay.” He muttered.

A few more moments passed before Steve rubbed your back soothingly and said. “It’s always your choice. We just want to give you all the information. We want all your questions to be answered. If we aren’t what you want, then… then we can understand that because we just want you to be happy, bunny.” Then he gifted you a sad little smile. “You tell me what you want. I can drive you back to your parents, I’ll deal with Bucky, send Ari to watch over you for a couple days just to make sure things are safe, or… or you can keep coming home with me now, you can talk with Bucky, ask him anything and… and maybe decide about if you want to be with us.”

It felt like your mind was being torn in two different ways; you decided to allow your heart to take the lead for a change pushing aside those worried little voices in the back of your mind and replying. “I wanna go home with you, Steve.” That smile on his face grew, relieved that you were still willing to listen to them both at this first hurdle. “You’ve been open with me, but I need to speak with Bucky too.” He understood completely. He popped the door and allowed her to sink back inside before climbing back into the driver’s side.

As they rolled back onto the road, Steve glanced over, watching as you just set your gaze out the window, clearly weighing up all the options, thinking about all the information he had given you. It felt good to get it all off his chest, to be open and honest with you and just allow you to make the decision having all the information.

Every ten minutes or so Steve would glance back in your direction before smiling as he saw your eyes had fluttered closed, sunk entirely into the seat. He understood it was a lot of information to have to take in. Happily, he continued to drive whilst you were snoozing peacefully beside him,

The drive back from Elba was gruelling; it was the early morning hours by the time that Steve parked outside the townhouse. Glancing towards where you were sleeping peacefully in the seat beside him, a loving smile tugged at his lips. A part of him didn’t want to wake you, wondering if you had managed to get any good nights of sleep recently – it had undoubtedly evaded him.

“Bunny…” Then reaching across to place his hand on your knee, gently coaxing you from your slumber as he jostled your knee a few times. “I’m sorry, honey.” He kept his voice calm and low, seeing how your eyes fluttered open and filled with a confused concern before setting on him. “Do you want me to carry you inside?”

The sentiment made you giggle before muttering. “No.” Rubbing your hands over your face to force yourself further away. As you came around a little more, you climbed from the comfort of the vehicle, glancing around the quiet street as most people happily snoozed away in their warm beds. Steve rounded the car from the driver’s side and gestured for you to follow him, guiding you up the stoop and unlocking the entrance door. “Come in…”

In your sleepy haze, you attempted to take in all the little details about their home, noting the elegant coat stand, which had a few different outer clothes hanging from it. Then there was a fresh vase of flowers that decorated a cute centre table in the room. You were sure the furniture in this room alone was worth more than the second-hand pieces that adorned your entire apartment. “C’mon, bunny, let’s get some rest.” He offered, shuffling you inside, all whilst keeping his voice low, thinking that Bucky might have already gone to bed.

Following the blonde through towards the staircase, a click of a light switch made you both stop, suddenly alerted to the presence of Bucky as he lingered in the doorway to what looked like the kitchen. The buttons of his pristine dress shirt were plucked apart to reveal his bronzed chest, and long fingers firmly clasped around a short glass of whiskey; you weren’t sure if you’d ever seen him look more casual. “It’s good to see you, doll.” The sound of his voice made you shudder. Bucky was unsure whether he could approach. More than anything, he wanted to wrap his arms around you, hold you again and make you promise to never disappear again, but the look on your face caused him to remain unmoved. “Steve told me everything…” From behind, Steve chuckled and muttered. “You ratted me out pretty quick, bunny.”

“I don’t like lying.” Your eyes remained trained on Bucky and finally broke to glance over your shoulder at Steve. “I guess that’s something you feel pretty comfortable doing with me.” Crossing your arms over your chest, Steve moved to be standing behind you, resting his hands on your shoulder and sharing a meaningful look with Bucky. “Jeez, you’re a ball buster, doll.” He muttered, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck and then taking a small step forward to gradually close the distance. “Did he mention how much we hated lying to you?” He quirked his brows, placing down his whiskey glass. “Did he say how we were trying to find the best way to tell you the truth?” The gaze you held with him dropped to the wooden floorboards. “Did he tell you that we didn’t want to scare you away?” Bucky’s nimble fingers pinched your chin, tilting your head up and muttering so gently. “We lied, and we’re so sorry.” The words slipped from his lips so genuinely.

You attempted to find some resolve, just trying not to fall for his charm. “H-he told me about your job.” Bucky simply nodded; it was something he knew he’d need to discuss with you eventually. If he was being honest, Steve probably did a better job explaining. Bucky certainly knew that he lacked nuance sometimes when it came to these more sensitive subjects. “Steve has been open and honest with me. So, I need you to do that too, James. I need to feel like I can move forward knowing everything.”

Bucky was quiet, lips pursed and eyes flickering towards you and Steve. “We can do this tomorrow-” Steve attempted to save him, but Bucky blurted out. “I spoke to Timothy Lewinski about hiring you.” You could feel Steve’s hands tightening on your shoulders as if trying to ground you at that moment. “Doll, that fuckwit boss you had treated you like garbage. I just wanted better for you-” “I asked you not to get involved in my career, James.” The use of his given name made Steve fight a smirk, sensing that this fiery side could perhaps rival that similar side that Bucky had. “If I was going to get hired by a company, then I wanted it to be on my own merit and ability.”

“I just put a good word in,” Bucky announced before his brain could chastise himself for fibbing. He wondered if you had reacted better if he might have told you about the bribe, but perhaps it was better to just let that stay his secret – not even Steve knew about the money he had slipped to Timothy. “That was all I did…” Then shaking his head. “Timmy was likely to contact you anyway; I helped move the process along.”

A heavy frown found your lips; the only thing comforting was the feel of Steve’s fingers pressing into your shoulders. “I think we should get some rest.” The blonde reasoned. “It has been a long day, right?” He urged, glancing at Bucky too and nodding his head. “Did you get the room all set up?” They both took steps back from you, allowing you a moment to breathe some fresh air affected by their whiskey-soaked breath or warm cologne. “Oh yeah, even got the finest Egyptian cotton sheets.” Winking at you before turning on his heel and beginning to ascend the stairs, Steve’s hand slipped down your frame, resting on her lower back and edging you to follow.

It was late. Perhaps after a good night of sleep, you might be able to come to some rational conclusion about all this madness. As they led you through their home, you attempted to take in as many little details as possible. The walls were decorated with the finest art; you wondered if they were pieces that Steve had collected through the years of living here. Passing by each room, the doors were elegantly carved and had fantastic shiny golden knobs. You wondered what secrets were hiding behind each door. They both stopped; Bucky pushed the door open and allowed you to take a few steps inside.

It was the most fantastic guest bedroom you had ever seen. Offering a space to stay in your apartment meant your guest sleeping on your bed whilst you took up space on the couch, but Bucky and Steve had a whole other bedroom double the size of your own that they could offer. “Are you going to be comfortable sleeping in that?” Bucky quizzed, gesturing to your loose-fitting shirt and bottoms. You simply nodded, wandering over to a bookshelf and running your fingers across the leatherbound spine. They were all beautiful first editions, and your mind boggled as you speculated if they read these books or if they were there for decoration only. “Did you need anything else, bunny?”

“No.” You responded evenly, finally turning to look at them both. “I’d like some time alone so I can think, please.” They both seemed to nod in understanding. “Try not to think too hard, doll. Get some rest.” He requested, settling his tattooed hand on the doorknob. “If you need us for anything, our room is just down the hall. Just follow the sound of Steve’s snoring.” He jested, causing Steve to bark out a sudden laugh. “Yeah, like I’m the only one who snores.” He bit back and then turned his attention back towards you. “See you in the morning.” Steve winked then, tugging Bucky from the room in the next second, the door clicking shut to signify that you were finally alone.

You didn't move for a few seconds, just keeping your eyes focused on the door they had left through. This all felt so surreal; you wondered how your life had managed to change so much in such a short period. There were still so many questions and worries buzzing around in your mind, from the thought of being in a polyamorous relationship to thinking about the more dangerous aspect of their jobs and how your entire life could be impacted by a tiny mistake.

You sunk into an armchair in the corner of the room, slipping your phone from your pocket and beginning to write down all your thoughts and feelings; writing was where you felt most at home. It was the only sane way they were able to express and process your emotions in a way that you could reflect on and in a way that you could understand. You wrote paragraphs and paragraphs of text, explaining your feelings about Steve and then your feelings about Bucky, the way you felt so scared about their jobs and betrayed by their lies. Then you wrote of the hope for the future, that you could find a way to trust them again, that you could find a way to love two people and how you could genuinely accept both of their love.

Love. You wondered if you could bring yourself to say those little words to Steve and Bucky. Before discovering their lies, you could have seen yourself falling in love with one of them. There was no denying that they treated you very well; each of their dates was so unique, and you showed both of their personalities so perfectly. Clearly, Bucky enjoyed treating you to more extravagant things, whereas Steve liked to share the quieter moments with you.

There was never a point that you felt scared of them, even after what Detective Carol had said about them being dangerous, or when Bucky had confirmed it, or even when Steve had told you the truth. Your rational mind said to you that you should be scared, but the emotional part reminded you that you knew these guys, you’d spent time with them and been alone with them, even shared sincerely intimate moments with them, and they had never pushed you to do anything, they’d never expected too much and always moved at your pace. Yes, they’d lied, but if they had told you the truth about their relationship from the beginning, you probably would have denied them both. Now you were in deep with both, wondering how you were supposed to return to a normal life without them. Maybe you didn’t have to return to a normal life.

You had been unaware of when you had fallen asleep. The armchair beneath you had been too comfortable; resting your eyes for a couple minutes had led to you completely falling into a deep slumber. When you awoke, it was with a hard snort, trying to shield your tired eyes from the blinding sun that poured through the windows. It took you a few moments to adjust to your surroundings, standing on wobbly feet and approaching a mirror, glancing into it at yourself and groaning at your appearance, trying your best to make yourself look presentable.

From the rooms below, you could hear a soft chatter. It was welcoming to be around people. Usually, when you woke up, your attention would instantly drawn to your phone, but instead, you are happy to be around the company. You took a little time to straighten the guest bedroom they had gifted you, slipping your phone into your pocket and then exiting to find the stairs they had guided you up the night before.

As you wandered down the stairs, the voice only grew louder. “… I heard that Nat and Bruce are in the Maldives.” Bucky was speaking, his voice lower and husky with morning gravel. “Do you know anything about this?” “Yeah, I had some idea about it,” Steve answered quickly, sounding a little more awake than the brunette. “We’re dealing with that Rollins situation. I’m doing some searching, but so far, it’s quiet.” In response, Bucky simply hummed.

Following their voices leads you to the kitchen, a beautifully decorated room. You got the feeling that it was really the heart of the home. Bucky was stood there in some comfortable-looking jogging bottoms, sitting at a steaming cup of coffee. Steve looked like he had just returned from a morning run, headphones hanging loosely around his phone and shirt drenched with a deep ‘v’ of sweat down the middle. “Morning bunny, did you sleep well?” Steve asked, realising your presence.

“Uh, yeah.” You replied softly, moving further into the room and hovering awkwardly by the island. “Um, did you?” They both smiled and nodded at you. “Are you hungry? I can make you something. I make killer pancakes, right, Buck? They’re low fat, but they taste just as good…” Your eyes found Bucky; he shook his head, earning a glare from Steve in return. “Or how about an omelette…? Or we have cereal somewhere, I think…” Glancing over his shoulder back in your direction.

Sensing that you were a little overwhelmed, Bucky muttered. “Give her a minute to wake up, Steve. Not everyone is a morning person.” He then used his food to scoot a barstool in your direction. You took a seat and placed your hands on the dark marbled counters. “Do you have any orange juice?” You asked softly, cluttering around the fridge. Steve found a carton, poured you a glass and slid it in your direction. “Sorry bunny, I’m just happy to have you around.”

After taking a sip, you smiled. “It’s actually… nice to be here.” You decided. “This place is beautiful. Did you have any hand in designing it?” They both nodded, which amazed you, but somehow you could understand that this was their home; they wanted every little detail to be perfectly how they wanted it. “It’s amazing.”

“Thanks, doll.” The brunette gifted you a tiny smile, and you took another couple of sips of your orange juice. “I’ve been thinking all night.” You finally decided to say as you placed the glass down. Both looked in your direction, their faces a mixture of worry and optimism. “I’ve been thinking about you… about what you want… about what you hid from me… and about being truthful about it.” You began. It seemed Bucky had wanted to say something but pursed his lips to stop himself from making matters worse. “This is so difficult because there are so many moving parts.” You explained, eyes darting down to the counter before up to both. “I just can’t seem to shake how much I like you both, and that scares me because I… I don’t want to be the reason I put the people I love in danger.”

“Doll…” Bucky let out a soft sigh. “Doll, I promise we won’t let anything bad happen to anyone you love. We look out for our own. Always.” He said, pressing his hands to the counter. Steve had promised that same thing. It really resonated deep within you, nodding your head. “We don’t know what this will be like, and all we’re asking is that you try…”

A few quiet moments took over the kitchen. “I want to try.” They swore that both of their hearts stopped at that moment, raising your gaze and looking at them both. “I want to try.” They rounded the counter, Steve standing on one side and Bucky on the other. “I wanna…” Bucky cupped your face, tilting your head back so that he could capture your lips in a heated kiss. In the next second, Steve’s lips were crushing your own as Bucky’s mouth nipped and suckled at your throat. “Say it again, doll.” He urged breathlessly. You pulled away from Steve, looking at them both and whispering. “I want to try.”

Taglist

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes #mafia!bucky #mafia!bucky barnes #mafia!bucky barnes x reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #mafia!steve rogers #mafia!steve x reader #mafia!stucky #stucky #stucky imagine #stucky x you #stucky x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #Marvel x Y/N #marvel x you #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans characters #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader

[sarahwroteathing]

Dear Sam (2)

[Sam Wilson x Reader]

Word Count: 1615

Summary: You begin drafting your letter to Sam, and old memories resurface.

Warnings: Discussion of grief

A/N: Surpriiiiiiiiise. I once again kool-aid man my way back to my blog to post a thing. Any and all gratitude for my sudden reappearance can be directed to @indominusregina I am here to bum you out on your birthday, like a true friend. Love you, bestie

Part One

There were false starts, many of them, written in a notebook you kept in your nightstand drawer. The handwriting on each varied slightly, reflecting the emotional state of each version of yourself that risked putting pen to paper. 

The first try came out jagged. Awkward. A handwriting reminiscent of high school note taking, messy and vaguely frantic, with half transformed letters sprinkled throughout, where your hand tried and almost failed to keep up with the ever shifting message in your brain. 

Dear Sam, 

The comma started too high, an aborted beginning of a second m. Sammy, you’d almost written, before dismissing it as out of character. You’d only ever called him that in moments primed for a smile. Through a pout, syllables drawn out, dramatic and mostly insincere, in a half-hatched ploy to get your way. Or in a falsely scandalized tone, clutching at invisible pearls you’d never owned, to make him roll his eyes or double down on whatever flirtation he’d been throwing your way. Sometimes in profoundly giddy joy, the kind that sent you running to meet him in the entryway like an excitable child, throwing your arms around him and not even thinking twice about the pure, eager love you were displaying for him. 

In any case, not appropriate for now, for a form so thoroughly divorced from its proper contexts.

All I can think about is how I have no idea how to write this letter. How much better you would be at this. You were always good with emotion, with explaining things kindly and firmly, with making yourself understood. I think I got better with you, but I still feel underqualified to write something as important as this. But the point is, I’m the only one who can write it. So I’m going to try anyway. In case it helps. Because there’s a whole lot I don’t understand, but one thing I do know is that you’d want me to get better and to move on if I could. You were annoyingly unselfish that way.

You threw down your pen, a shaky exhale escaping your lungs with an urgency, like you’d been holding it for too long. Maybe you had been. It felt as though every word you wrote only made it to the paper by being ripped free from your heart. It hurts. It’s stupid, senseless. A letter written by you, for you, addressed to a man who will never read it. It doesn’t matter. But it still manages to fucking hurt. 

You clench your jaw, pick up your pen again. 

But I don’t know how to move on, Sam. I don’t know how to let you go. It shouldn’t be this hard. You’ve been gone so long that I…

You took a sharp breath, eyes burning, as you forced out the words.

I sometimes forget to miss you. And I feel like I must be the worst person alive every time. Because you deserve more than that. You deserve every tear I can shed, every second of every sleepless hour, every stolen breath, every pound of grief I can shoulder. You deserve everything. And I get so mixed up in my head about it, how I can go so long sometimes without remembering you’re really gone and then get dragged under again like I’ve just lost you for the very first time. It doesn’t make sense. I wish I could make it make sense. I wish you were here to explain it to me. I wish you were here. 

You scrubbed your hands over your face, pushed yourself restlessly to your feet. 

One lap of your apartment. 

Deep breath. 

A second lap. 

You grabbed your pen and notebook from the desk, flopped down on your bed with them, staring blankly at the small jewelry dish on your nightstand for several minutes. A leather bracelet, the name of a town you’d never been to artfully etched on the surface. A delicate chain with a small gold charm in the shape of a wing. A watch, way too bulky for your own wrist, that you’d insisted on wearing every day for almost a year. An Idaho state quarter dated 2007. 

Do you remember the night we met? In that dive bar down the street from my old apartment. It was as far from the height of romance as you could possibly get, but you made it work for you anyway. You and Steve and Natasha were sitting in the back booth, a few steps from the jukebox thats simple existence charmed me to pieces.

I remember how disappointed I was when my pockets came up short. I’m not sure whether it was my proximity or my colorful words that first drew your attention. But there you were. My knight in soft leather with a hand full of quarters shining red from the neon beer sign over your shoulder.

“How much you short by?” 

“Fifty cents,” you answered with a rueful laugh, eyes flickering between his handsome face and the handful of change. 

“Well, I happen to have fifty cents, and I’m happy to give it to you if I get veto power on your song choice.”

The corner of your mouth drifted up into a half smile despite your best efforts at his mildly flirtatious but matter-of-fact tone.

“I don’t take gifts with strings attached,” you said challengingly.  

“Alright, alright. Worth a shot. Can I at least stick around to see what you pick?”

The compromise we came up with: you picked a letter, I picked a number. And I don’t think it was a test exactly, but when I picked the Marvin Gaye song, the way your eyes lit up and the smile you gave me left no doubt that I’d passed with flying colors.

And I remember being so instantly enamored with you, with that beautiful smile and those eyes that promised a safe kind of trouble, that I stopped noticing anything else. My best friend’s song request blasting through the speakers, the sticky floors, the taste of the tequila sunrise you bought me with a promise that there would be no strings attached. And there weren’t any, of course. But I remember wishing there would be if it meant a chance of seeing you again.

And I remember the way I made my move on you, when you pressed two more quarters into my hand so I could pick my own song without interference. I remember you hooking your finger on the back belt loop of my jeans so we wouldn’t get separated on our way back to the jukebox and the way I was glad you were behind me so you couldn't see how much that made me smile. 

You barely hesitated, keying in your selection as soon as the quarters rattled home. You’d seen the song the first time, while Sam had been examining the catalog. 

It started only a few seconds later, and you turned with a satisfied little smile, watching Sam as he tilted his head, squinting slightly as he tried to identify the opening notes. 

When the first line hit, that smile was back, wide and charming and playful. 

“The night we met I knew I needed you so.”

“Okay,” he laughed, taking a half step closer, leaning his shoulder against the wall right beside you. “Hittin on me now, huh?” 

“Presumptuous,” you said mildly, not moving away. “Maybe I’m just very passionate about the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.” 

“That’s still sounding like a line to me.”

You shrugged, pushing off the wall with a teasing smile. It put you much closer, your faces only inches apart. 

“You planning on doing something about it?”

I was bolder that night than I ever had been. You had that effect on me. Made me brave, confident. Joyful. You made me so fucking happy, Sam. Right from the beginning. I was never as unapologetically and ecstatically myself as when I was with you. I don’t know how to do that without you, how to be that person again. I don’t know if I ever can. I miss her too. The version of me who walked through life beside you, who could call you anytime just to hear your voice. Who could hear “Be My Baby” and come running, follow the sound to where you were waiting with your phone held up and a goofy little grin that felt like it was all mine, get bundled up in your arms and plied with kisses until I was breathless and giggling. 

Now it just hurts. I can’t bring myself to delete the song from my playlists, but every time it comes on, I can’t help but cry. And now when I’m breathless, it’s not in that fun, giddy way. It’s more dangerous. Like choking. Like drowning. And I’m so tired, Sam. I want to stop. I want to keep all the memories I have of you, the sound of your laugh, the smell of your skin, the way my hand fit in yours. But I don’t want this pain. And I’m not sure anymore if I can have one without the other. That terrifies me.

So I guess what all this means is that I’m trying to let you go, and it’s not supposed to be against my will, but that’s how it feels anyway. I’m scared of letting you go the way I’m scared of almost everything these days. 

What if I forget you? What if I don’t? I honestly can’t tell you what would feel worse. But no matter what… 

You know I will adore you till eternity. 

Even when you’re not here to sing it with me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 

I love you.

---------------------

Sound off! Who's not dead?

Would love to hear your thoughts, my loves. This story is truly a living organism with drastically changing drafts.

Tags: @shifutheshihtzu @internalbullshit @lilasiannerd-blog @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @iwillbeinmynest @scotlandasshole @netflixa @hardcorehippos @singingprincessstudent @sophiealiice @blue1928 @tinuviel015 @a-book-pressed-rose @bbparker @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @feelmyroarrrr @orangespocks

#sam wilson x reader #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson fic #sam wilson series #marvel imagine

[ryuichirou]

Hello!! I'm too shy to send you this out of anon, but I wanted to let you know how much I admire you. I'm a TWST artist myself, and I like certain problematic tropes and pairings. I also want to draw nsfw of my favorite ships, but I'm too afraid of doing it. The anti movement in fandoms is too overwhelming and I'm scared of people going after me. I don't mind kids yelling at me for drawing teens doing what most teens do nowadays (like sex) but everything has escalated so far that people are willing to doxx you and ruin your life over what you ship or draw, and that's what I'm scared of. I know that you probably get nasty messages and people bothering you, but seeing you and Katsu continue creating regardless of what people might say gives me encouragement to post whatever I want. And you seem to be a sunshine of a person, not to mention that your art is amazing. I wish I could post daily as you but sometimes I'm a little bit lazy and I yet need more confidence even if I've been drawing since I was a teen. Anyways, sorry if this got longer, but thank you for contributing amazing art to the TWST fandom. (I'm also into Hetalia and SnK!!! Seeing that you like DenNor made my day haha)

Sending you and Katsu my best regards!

First of all, thank you so much for your support and for your kindness, Anon. And thank you for messaging us at all about this topic, even if anonymously. I think this is a very important thing to talk about, and your message honestly made us kind of emotional. It was a bad idea to read it before going to bed lol

Just like you said, the anti movement is honestly psychotic. I feel like a lot of people who participate in it simply don’t realise the weight of their actions and words, which make sense, because the majority of them are very young; and the ones that are adults are usually quite deranged and dangerous. It’s not rare for their actions to lead to horrible consequences, but I guess this is nothing new. It used to be overbearing conservative parents, now it’s some kids with too much free time. That being said, these days we see more and more people who ignore, criticize or ridicule the antis for their hypocrisy, and this is very nice to see.

We really do get quite a lot of hate, but honestly, we used to get even more stupid comments, even though we haven’t been hated with such passion before. But still, the support we’re getting now is also much more impactful and vocal than what we used to get. There also are people who aren’t even into our ships, but would defend us just because of what this whole thing represents: their own right to do whatever they want when it comes to fiction.

Our personal thing is that we’re just way too spoiled and self-indulgent with stuff that we like. Even if it meant that we’d never get hate, we would be miserable if we had to restrict ourselves for the sake of others; and I know that because we tried. So the worst thing that could happen is that we’ll stop posting, but we’ll still continue creating, because it gives us too much joy to give it up just because someone has no friends at school and wants to impress other antis with their sick (moronic) post when they completely miss the point of our content and ignore our 18+ warnings.

So yeah, I hope you’ll remember what you love about drawing and keep doing whatever you want, even if you don’t post it. But I also think that, if you’re comfortable at any point, you should also post it. You can create an account with no link to your regular acc and your personal info whatsoever and post whatever you want there. You could still get hate, but at least it will be safer and without any high stakes, although I understand you might feel fear because people could recognise your artstyle and connect the dots.

Also preventive bans work wonderfully. If we stumble upon a post that has certain aggressive messages (you know the ones), we simply block everyone who interacted with that post. It takes time, but it’s worth it, I think. Hell, people use “call-out” (because there is nothing to call out, we’ve stated everything plainly ourselves) posts with us to block people.

Also also, ironically, ignoring the hate also kind of helps… I know it’s easy to say, and it’s not a 100% guarantee, but we just think that people are more prone to attacking you if you react to hate in any way. So the best thing is literally to just block and delete it. Oh, and always report it if it gets aggressive – this could do nothing, but it could also bitchslap them out of nowhere lol

Anyways… I am very grateful and glad if we could give you any type of reassurance and comfort with our posts. I hope to see your stuff one day, and I hope there’ll be more people who post whatever they want, so fandoms can become healthier again.

And I’m very happy you like Hetalia and SnK too, especially DenNor! <3

Thank you again from both of us, and I hope you’re having a good day.

#replies

[brutallycarnage]

Tate Langdon x Reader

Payphone Memories (Episode 1)

TW: Gun violence, gore, Tate Langdon is a warning himself

Pair: Tate Langdon x Reader

Prologue 

The payphone is where I remember spending a large portion of my high school career. It was separated from most of the school, off in a hallway that led to a dead end. In fact, there were two payphones. It was a big fancy L.A school after all. The more popular payphone was near the cafeteria. Of course, this one had its fair share of use.. But, during classes, nobody really showed up around here. Which made it prime for hiding from classes. Tate and I spent a lot of time on this payphone. His mother didn’t work so it was typical of her to use up all their hours on their personal line at Tate’s house. At mine, however, we didn’t exactly have the money to make phone calls all willy-nilly. We really liked to make prank calls. Nobody was safe, and we especially loved to mess with his mothers boyfriend, Larry. Sometimes, I feel myself really missing those times. Leaning against the tiles of the wall, cold to the touch. Tate, his beautiful eyes - the way they crinkled up and shined in the light when he laughed. The dimples of his cheeks, sitting in his room at night, blasting Nirvana or Blondie. Man, Tate hated listening to Blondie. He owned it on cassette for me though. That’s what worked about Tate and I; our abilities to adapt for each other. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Nirvana! I’m just a sucker for punk music. As time went on though, we began to fight more. Tate got involved with some bad habits, so I tried to get him help. He didn’t want it though, he didn’t think anything was wrong. Eventually, he ended up just.. Snapping, at some point or another. I never wanted to break up with Tate Langdon, but after he changed from the sweet, innocent boy I grew up with, it wasn’t healthy for either of us to continue seeing each other. He grew more angrier, more hateful by the day. Of course, that was an effect of his addiction. He didn’t think I noticed the way his nose always ran now, and the rapid weight loss he exhibited. In part, I could understand why. His little sister Rose died from complications to her autoimmune disease a few years prior, and so did his little brother Bo. But obviously, it wasn’t an excuse for the way he treated me. Every little thing I did set him off. He screamed at me once for breathing too loudly. I try to push the fonder memories forward, like the time I caught him listening to Heart of Glass when I showed up to surprise him one evening. I never let him live it down.

Present Day

(Third Person)

Ring, Ring. Ring, Ring. Vivienne turned around to glance at the landline on the wall. The ringing interrupted her fruitful efforts to get the kitchen clean.  ‘Strange’ She thought to herself. ‘We never paid for a landline. Maybe Ben did without telling me? I know Violet’s into all that nostalgic stuff.’ Vivienne’s hand meets with the cool sage green plastic. She pulls it off of the receiver, and holds the phone to her ear. “Hello..?” Vivienne says with confusion. “Oh, uh, hi! Sorry, I was sort of expecting someone else.” A soft voice spoke up over the phone, one of female origin. Vivienne assumed it may have been one of Violet’s school friends or Ben’s patients. She sounded quite young.  The phone tone distorted her voice, making it sound crackly. “Oh, no worries sweetie! Who are you trying to reach? I can take a message.” Vivienne said, leaning against the wall. “Oh uh, an old friend used to live here. I was just calling to talk. Are you the new owners of their house?” “Uh, Yes! We just moved in a little while ago. Are you in the neighborhood? I think I have a daughter in your age range.” “You could say that. My parents are pretty strict, so I’m not allowed out of the house very often.” “Well, if you ever need a friend, my daughter Violet I’m sure would be happy to hang out with you!” “Thank you miss..?” “Call me Viv, Viv Harmon. And you?” “Y/N.” “Well, Y/N, it’s nice to informally meet you. I have to go now, but don’t be a stranger. Bye bye!” “Bye.” Click. Ben enters the kitchen, admiring his wife and the now clean counters and appliances. “Hey Viv, who were you talking to?” Ben says, wrapping his arms around Vivienne and looking over her shoulder to watch her wash the dishes. Vivienne gestures over to the landline, still paying attention to the dishes in the sink. “Oh, a girl from the neighborhood called. She was curious about who had moved in.” “Uh, the landline.. Works? Did you get it set up?” Vivienne turns around quickly, confused. “Uh, no. I thought you did? Yeah, she called it.” Ben walked over to the landline, pulling the phone off the receiver and test dialing on the keypads. Nothing. The line didn’t work. “Viv.. Are you.. Sure?” And thus, another argument broke out between the oldest members of the Harmon family.

Y/N leans against the cool tile once more, letting the phone hang off the receiver, listening to the ringing. She was desperate for some sort of mental stimulation that wasn’t the sealed-off school hall she currently sat in. Of course, it wasn’t actually 1994 anymore. Those memories she recalled have been rehearsed and repeated in her head for 17 years now, she wasn’t even sure if they were right at this point. Was Tate who she remembered him to be? Had he been that awful all along? Was she clinging onto something good to keep up hope? She wasn’t entirely convinced. Had she even ever existed at all? She hated when she felt like this. One more time, one more time she’d go over what happened. Then she’d stop, but she needed to do it one more time, just to make sure she still remembered all the details. Gunshot blasts, the smell of blood, Tate.. No.. No.. Tate, then gunshot blasts. Or was it blood first? She felt hopelessly lost as she anxiously picked at her blood caked cuticles. She inhaled, trying to calm herself. Tate.. Gunshots.. Blood.. Yeah, that feels right.

Trigger Warning: Gun Violence (will not impact the story if you skip it! Please keep yourself safe <3)

Y/N opens her eyes, she feels her heart hammer in her chest. She’s desperately loading change into the payphone, poking at the buttons. 9..1…1.. She feels a little bit of relief as the phone rings and picks up almost immediately. “911, what’s your emergency?” A feminine voice rumbles in her ear. Y/N keeps a hushed voice, eyes glued on the only entrance way into the hall. “Someone’s shooting in my school. We need the police-” The doors swing open. Tate. No, no.. Please, let him be okay. Why did he have blood on him? Did he get hurt?

Trigger Warning over!

Y/N feels a pair of hands on her shoulders, shaking her gently. A concerned looking Stephanie Boggs was greeting her gaze. “Hey, you okay? You were just.. Standing here?” Stephanie says, tilting her head. “Yeah.. Yeah.. It’s just.. The flashbacks are happening again. I called again, Steph. I don’t know why I did. Someone else lives in the house now.” She stammers, leaning into Stephanie’s firm hold. Stephanie kept her mouth shut. She didn’t know Tate before the massacre, she knew it was hard to deal with just dealing with being murdered in general. She couldn’t imagine it being someone she loved. Stephanie took a moment to take in her friend's appearance. Y/N had three visible gunshot wounds. The first being on the left side of her chest, second in her neck and third splitting open the side of her jawline. Her s/c was stained with dry blood, along with the ends of her h/c hair. “Everything is starting to get to me again. I thought I was okay with all of this now.” Y/N waved her arm in reference to the payphone, avoiding eye contact with Stephanie. “You always get antsy like this near halloween. Doesn’t help that you’re tethered to this fuck-ass phone 364 days out of the year. Just think, 4 more days and we can go do something fun during the day. Maybe this year is the year Langdon decides to speak up when we confront him. Closure, or whatever.” Stephanie tried distracting her, unsure if it was working. Y/N shook her head in a ‘no’ motion, “This is different, Steph. Something is going to happen. I haven’t felt this pull in a decade.” Stephanie frowned in response, letting go of Y/N and walking down the hall towards the exit. And just like that, alone again. Y/N remembers the first year the massacre had occurred. People she didn’t know stopped by a lot and left flowers and small trinkets as offerings. Each student that year got a vigil where they passed away on their birthdays. It was nice not to be alone. To see some life in these dark hallways. Of course, as the years went on, nobody visited much anymore. Just the occasional odd teenager looking to ghost hunt or write a history report. There was a plaque with her name on it next to the payphone now. With the rise of technology, she supposed there was no use for the payphone anymore anyways. She figured with the time she had to think until Halloween, she’d plan out what she’d say to Tate on Halloween.

A/N: Howdy! This is my first ever fic! I will be making the chapters longer as I get more practice. But I hope you liked it!

#tate langdon #american horror story #murder house #violet harmon #tate langdon x reader #dead dove do not eat

[the-owl-house-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/the-owl-house-takes/739902025110814720/httpswwwtumblrcomthe-owl-house-takes73915284?source=share

Okay man, I will let you in on a little secret, from one severely traumatized person to someone else. Luz is traumatized, this made her do bad things. On the scale of bad reactions to trauma Luz is taking it like a fucking CHAMP. She got used and manipulated and that's bound to make someone feel gross and slimy, especially KNOWING as much as Luz knows about how what she did helped someone so EVIL. Should she have been honest? Yes. But also you dense motherfucker, that was probably the LEAST BAD THING she could have DONE in reaction to this trauma.

For a few years, starting when I was 11, some of the most horrific shit you could imagine was happening to me. No details because. You know. Not the place, I don't get the option to throw this under a read more. When I was 13 I did the "right thing" and turned in the person hurting me. But where I lived didn't have good therapists, I already had bipolar (diagnosed in 1st grade, yes for real) and it was getting worse. I would become extremely hostile and easy to set off. I broke aluminum brooms on people's backs. I stabbed people with pencils in high school. I literally missed the start of class to find out where a kid who stole some food from me in the previous class was so I walked into his class and SCREAMED AT HIM. Someone stole my MP3 and I had a meltdown for the entire duration of choir screaming at everyone to give it back because it was extremely unlikely that someone came in the private choir hallway to take my puny outdated MP3. I was a huge fucking piece of shit and I work every day to better myself from who I was in high school. The other day I had someone who knew me in high school come up to me and APOLOGIZE. I was constantly being bullied. I told him I genuinely didn't even remember what he said because it was over 10 years ago now, but told him to pass on to a few of the people I stabbed that I'm sorry. He still bought me a drink because he felt so bad. But I also felt bad. Yeah the only people who can forgive me are the people I've hurt, so I actually don't want to fucking hear your opinion on it.

The other characters in the show are actually emotionally intelligent and understand that even if what Luz did was bad they know she has proven to them that she cares about them and was only afraid of losing them. Speaking as someone who has not a single childhood friend from being the weirdest kid in SPED every year and moving just as frequently, I can absolutely understand the fear of losing the only friends you have and becoming ALONE again.

If this is how you react to any fucking "misbehavior" by someone so hurt then I would rather never hear another thing you have to say. Traumatized children are going through fucking enough.

When I was 10 I jumped off a swingset and landed funny on my arm. I told my mom's boyfriend and he said it was fine. I wore slings I made myself out of paper towels for a month because it hurt to let my arm hang down. Now sometimes when I lift heavy things or sleep on it wrong my arm hurts a bit. I had it x-ray'd a few years back and the bones were only very slightly deformed. Untreated breaks can end much MUCH worse. But when my arm hurts now I don't blame my fucking arm, I blame my mom's shitty boyfriend for not taking me to the fucking hospital (he never told my mom either).

So anyways Luz did a bad thing but she could have literally done a billion things so much worse and her friends forgiving her is not bad writing it's because they LOVE HER, and I don't know why there's so much fucking discourse on this specific topic, the people she hurt forgave her, your opinion is not relevant to this plot point because she didn't hurt you specifically. So sorry anon, that Luz Noceda lied to you specifically and hurt your feelings so bad. It's framed as a bad thing in the show even tf is wrong with you.

-

#the owl house #toh #Luz noceda #long post

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Heya dude! Remember the shinobu fic called "crash" were a ( they/them ) reader is running to get to a meeting and crashes with Shinobu at all and Shinobu ask them to take her to dinner? If you can could you do a part 2? If you can't dw i understand!

Crash Prt. II: Dinner

Shinobu Kochou x They/Them Reader

A/N: Prt I Prt III Heyyo! I do remember. Part one here! It was supposed to be a love at first sight kinda deal but I don’t feel like I did it right. I know sometimes people just click, but I think it would have been easier if I had gone a soulmates kind of route with a more concrete, visible reaction but eh. I think it’s still kinda cute. I named this dinner but the actual dinner part is like three sentences lol. Hope you like it! Word Count: ~1,790

(Y/n) could hardly follow the meetings proceedings with the way their heart pounded in their ears. The heat and sweat pouring off of them seemed never ending as well. Worse yet, they had peeked over at the Insect Hashira they had so foolishly bowled over no less than a dozen times throughout the meeting and each time she had caught them with a silent brow raised questioningly and a smirk tugging at her otherwise perfectly polite smile. When they weren’t looking like a gawking fish, their thoughts still reeled over the deep purple color of her eyes. She was too beautiful to be real and they had just plowed into her like an oncoming train!

And now they owed her dinner.

They couldn’t mess this up more than they already have!

“(Y/n), my child?”

Oh no! Did they miss something? The Hashira would surely hate them if they knew they hadn’t been giving their full attention to the Master!

“Yes, Oyakata-sama?” They gulped.

“So nervous,” he chuckled warmly, “I’m sure the others remember these jitters well. You needn’t worry so, we are all working towards the same goal. You will do well as a Hashira and I’m sure your new peers will become true friends in time. You’ve earned your position, hold your head high from now on.”

“Yes Master, thank you! I will give my all!” They squeaked in reply.

A scattered array of quiet sound of amusement sounded from the Master and a handful of the Hashira caused their skin to burn hotter. Had they been too enthusiastic? Gods, it was so hard to read these formal situations!

As the meeting resumed, Shinobu’s smile remained a little bit wider than was common for her when her stifled laughter ceased. She didn’t quite know why, but the the almost frantic eagerness of the new arrival made all the invisible crushing weight on her shoulders much lighter, or at least momentarily forgotten.

She felt their eyes on her again, and instead of feeling annoyed, she met their gaze again, biting the inside of lip to keep her expression of pleasant neutrality schooled. They had quickly looked away again, but Shinobu lingered a bit longer.

She knew it was a silly thought, but she found herself feeling glad that she had been tackled to the ground by the newcomer. Even now her back still stung, but that hardly mattered when she knew that as soon as the meeting was over she would have them all to herself. Shinobu mentally patted herself on her bruised back for her quick thinking. A dinner was a great idea.

Unfortunately she wasn’t the only one who thought thought so.

After the meeting ended and the Master went back inside, Mitsuri led a brigade that consisted of almost every Hashira, with the exception of Giyuu and Sanemi, to invite (Y/n) out to eat together. If she hadn’t been the one to suggest, Obanai probably would have stayed out of it too.

Shinobu had been eagerly invited along too of course, but she pictured her dinner tonight going a little differently. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. In fact, usually group settings were preferable over one on one chitchat. Shinobu was going to get that free meal one way or another, she shouldn’t mind the intrusion so much and yet…

“Actually Kanroji-san,” (Y/n) mumbled, rubbing the back of their neck sheepishly, “I don’t think I can do that tonight. I’m sorry.”

“Huh? Why not?” Mitsuri tilted her head to the side, Obanai seething silently behind her.

“Do you think you’re better than us or something?” Sanemi accused with a growl, even though he was refusing to go to the dinner himself.

“N-no! Of course not! It’s just—“

“Hah? Speak up!” Sanemi bellowed, stomping into (Y/n)’s personal space.

“I owe Kochou-sama dinner!” (Y/n) yelled in a panic. “I swept her off her feet and took her breath away so I should really make up for that!”

“Really? How romantic!” Mitsuri clasped Shinobu’s hands in hers and jumped excitedly.

“My, (L/n)-san, I do believe you are embellishing.” Shinobu teased, though her face warmed considerably.

“Wait! No! Not like that! I mean I wasn’t watching where I was going and I threw her to the ground and knocked the air out of her lungs! It’s not what you think!” They waved frantically.

“Hmm? Ohhhh,” Mitsuri deflated a little, but Shinobu whispered conspiratorially into her ear and she perked up again, giving Shinobu a conspiratorial grin in return.

The Love Hashira approached (Y/n) and Sanemi moved out of her way with a grunt and a dour expression.

“Maybe next time then!” Mitsuri hugged them, cupped a hand over their ear and whispered, “She loves ginger tsukudani. Be good to her now. She never does things like this.”

(Y/n) nodded their head in a quick jerk, their eyes frozen to Obanai’s over Mitsuri’s shoulder. They needed this hug to move along quickly before they woke up with snakes in their bed. Mitsuri pulled away and shot Shinobu another excited glance before waving goodbye to them both.

“Bye, (L/n)-san, Shinobu-chan! Have a nice date!” She called from the garden’s edge as she and the other Hashira still interested in a dinner get together took their leave.

“Date?!” (Y/n) choked.

How could they have messed up so badly? Before they could regain the ability to speak coherently, Shinobu’s arm looped around one of theirs and she waved at the other’s backs as they left.

“We will!” She affirmed, projecting her serene voice for all to hear, ending with a light chuckle watching (Y/n) flounder beside her. She tugged on (Y/n)’s arm a bit.

“Since you aren’t from around here, I’ll pick the venue, but I expect you to pick up the slack from there, okay?” Shinobu teased.

“Ahhmnnkay.” (Y/n) answered unintelligently.

Just what was going on? Was this some weird initiation prank? It must be, there was no way Kochou would be as interested in them at first glance as they were with her. That kind of thing just didn’t happen naturally. Especially when their first encounter began with a full body tackle and a dirt bath. This had to be a joke.

“Hello? (L/n)-san? Are you even listening to me?” Shinobu poked their cheek, startling them.

“Sorry! Wh- what were you saying?”

“I said,” Shinobu smirked, “if you do a good job making up for your little mishap earlier, I may give you something in return.”

“I don’t need anything, really. I just want to make up for running in to you, that’s all.” (Y/n) tried to dissuade Shinobu, but she did not waver.

Shinobu was really enjoying how expressive (Y/n) was. The more flustered they became, the cuter they looked. She had never been so eager to get to know someone before. Shinobu felt like she was entering Mitsuri territory, her whole being felt like it was standing at attention without the stiffness, energized without caffeine. All to catch every little detail of her new colleague.

While Shinobu guided (Y/n) into town, arm still wrapped around theirs, she asked several questions to get them to open up and provided answers of her own as well. Slowly, (Y/n)’s anxiety over the day began to ease as Shinobu’s gentle timbre carried on, telling them a brief anecdote about some loud boys and a demon girl that have been running around her home.

(Y/n), enraptured by the tale, laughed in earnest when Shinobu detailed the devastation left in the boys’ wake and how she had gotten them to clean in up with a single stare.

Shinobu’s heart stuttered in her chest. The sound made her feel as if she were floating, bubbling, she felt light and she couldn’t help but laugh too.

When they made it to where Shinobu wanted to eat, true to her word she promptly dumped the responsibility of ordering and everything else onto (Y/n) for the rest of the evening.

Among the things ordered, (Y/n) was sure to get ginger tsukudani as Mitsuri told them and was relieved to find that she hadn’t steered them wrong with her tip. Even after the food was paid for and eaten, the pair kept talking, sharing interests and telling stories.

Unfortunately the night would have to come to an end eventually. They begrudgingly stood from the table and left the restaurant.

(Y/n) could feel the conversation winding down as they stood at the crossroads outside. They weren’t ready to go home yet. Who knows when they would get to see Shinobu again?

“Let me walk you home?” They asked.

“Do you think I can’t take care of myself, (L/n)-san?” Shinobu countered, though not defensively. She just wanted to make (Y/n) squirm.

“No! Of course you can! I just thought…”

Shinobu chuckled and weaved her arm through (Y/n)’s once more.

“I’m only teasing. Of course you can walk me home. I was hoping you would.”

“Yay! Cool! Good, great, I should stop talking, let’s go.” (Y/n) pulled Shinobu along the forest path. The fireflies seemed to light up in accordance with Shinobu’s amused hums.

When they arrived at the Butterfly Estate, Shinobu led (Y/n) to the dark garden, softly lit by the light bleeding through the grand mansion.

“Thank you for tonight.” Shinobu spoke softly over the cool breeze rustling through the leaves.

“You’re welcome. And again I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I should really be the one thanking you for the opportunity to make it up to you.”

“Mm, well, if you are always so dutiful and charming when making things up to people, you can throw me to the ground anytime.” She smirked.

Before (Y/n) could come up with an intelligent response, she continued,

“Ah, I just remembered I said I would give you something in return for your chivalry, didn’t I?”

“I don’t need anything, really. I feel like if you give me something now, I’ll still owe you for running into you.” (Y/n) tried to explain.

“Oh good, in that case,”

Shinobu put one hand on their shoulder, the other on their cheek and leaned in, pressing her lips against the cheek not braced against her palm.

“For our next date you can show me around your district,” She spoke softly into (Y/n)’s ear, “doesn’t that sound nice?”

“This really was a date?!”

“So cute,” Shinobu smiled and pulled away with one last quick peck that she mentally tallied as cause for a third date, “I’ll send my crow when I have an opening in my schedule.”

“Okay.” (Y/n) answered as if in a trance.

As Shinobu turned away and walked into her mansion, (Y/n) stood in the garden for several minutes, holding a hand to their cheek.

Why did they feel like they were about to be hit by an oncoming train?

#demon slayer oneshots #kny oneshots #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #shinobu kocho x reader #shinobu kochou x reader #shinobu x reader #shinobu kochou #shinobu kocho #requests #anonymous

[melsdreamweaving]

I don't know if this is supposed to help anyone. At the moment I am feeling a little lost. And at the same time, I'm pleasantly surprised. After years of suffering, I feel like a chapter has come to a close. I'm just an ordinary person, who has met some extraordinary people on the way. A nobody who really knows nothing at all. I'm happy being a nobody.

A somebody is someone who just does. But in my case, I'm choosing to balance between doing and contemplating. My middle school teacher called me the thinker. She made an award just for me. Praising me for resolving conflicts in our classroom. But the only thing I did was ask a group of teenagers and tweens to just stop and breathe for a second. That petty fights aren't worth their friendship. That is until one of them screamed in my face. I remember Miss Reyes, her lips set into a thin line. Hating that the toxicity of an older teenager was all it took to make me shrink again. But at the same time I had befriended another girl from Puerto Rico. We've been nerdy art friends ever since.

It's funny to me but in my home, I just wanted to pick up the pencil and draw. However I was also told that I had to write. To make our story known... I used to look at my grandmother and ask her, with what voice? You have already taken mine.

I've had many friends, they come and go. I've had lovers, they come and go. Could I have stayed virginal for the "right one"? It depends. Up until that point, I hadn't really met anyone I would have saved myself for. If I even had something to "save" for them. A girl I knew from Dade, had a similar circumstance. She was funny, and she used to say steal all of their virginities. That way they will never forget you. This person was a riot. And at the same time I understood what she meant. I'm glad that they were able to move on and have a better life elsewhere.

One of my friends had pointed out, that those with sour grapes shouldn't spoil your kind spirit. I also ran into one of the two boys that I altar served with. Reminding me that I have kind eyes, eyes that inspire compassion... I appreciated it, especially now that I am struggling not to go low.

My favorite comedian, Margaret Cho, is now in her '50s. When I dropped out of high school, I was filled with shame. The entire year I had spent it trying to get expelled. Coming up with elaborate plans, and failing miserably because I was still a naive young girl. My favorite thing that she said in the stand-up bit called Vicious Cho was: f*** it this is me. I feel like a lot of young people would benefit from watching her. Especially if you're not LGBTQ but are just feeling lost in your own body. I was told to have a career first, and then there will be time for family. But at the same time, I fell in love. A goofy other nobody named cro mag named Ug, really saw me for the first time.

I can't explain it. But most of what I do is motivated by his smile and influence. I was a teenager when I met him. Just barely turned 18. He took me out on a date, and got me a copy of "Brave New World" from the local borders. I definitely recommend reading it. He asked me if I saw myself in anyone. To tell you the truth I saw myself in the indigenous young man. Taken into high society and not being able to cope with man's inhumanity to man. He told me that you can't save everyone. I knew that. Even one of my professors told me that not everybody can get on the ship little one. And then he proceeded to tell me that being a single father is hard. I nodded my head and said that it must be...

I didn't want to rule the world, I just wanted to see it. Having been a nerd, I enjoyed reading the encyclopedia on the computer. At the time, I loved the sound of hearing the machine come to life. The disc whirring and... My best friend would be there to greet me.

I shared the computer with my uncle and brother. It was a lot of fun to look and see what they were into. Sometimes I didn't understand it, but as my mom taught me snitches get stitches. So I stayed quiet, and played on the encyclopedia Britannica. They had this really cool game called mind maze. Were you learned random facts and navigated a castle.

My favorite games were those where you were a protagonist navigating a strange world. The King's quest games were my favorite. I loved King Graham, and the enchanted world of Daventry.

The woman who authored these games, was introduced to the role-playing games by her husband. I always thought it was awesome to be able to do such a thing. In college it was really hard to find others who played these games but it was fun to talk about character design, and story structure.

Currently I'm playing Shadow dark with a group of my husband's friends. What I enjoy about it is that it reminds me of discworld, at least the way we're playing. None of us have died yet thank goodness.

I like drifting away from things too. People, places, and just relaxing. Have you ever just laid face up in a pool for hours? It's my favorite thing to do. You can just meditate and forget everything. It feels like you're in space. Even though I don't think I would like to be up there. Something about the sky always makes me feel like it's trying to eat me. The ocean however feels like home.

Having Taino ancestry I think back to one of the last survivors of Fidel. At the time when he came to power, the first people he targeted were indigenous. My grandmother had to hide my mom. Her straight hair was a huge problem back then.

The man that I'm thinking of if he is still alive, lives by the ocean fishing and just swimming all day. A simple life. A wonderful life really. My husband and I, talk about living by the sea. Not caring anymore. Just enjoying our lives, because why bother with a world that would turn around and defraud its own people. You were ignorant for believing in others... Okay, I think that says more about you than it does about me.

I love my husband because he said go back to the gym palpy you ain't getting my Padme, lol 🤣. Our food names are ironically rice and beans. Everyone used to call him Mr Bean cuz he looked like the actor when he was younger... And at the time my friends all had food names, and I picked rice. Mostly because I go with everything. And of course being a fan of Fruit baskets definitely influenced that. My friends were fun, but I always felt plain like rice. I met other people that are like rice though. I call them burnt rice, mostly because they're rough around the edges and prickly.

If you were a food what would you be?

#creative writing #original poem #writers and poets #dead poets society #fiction #poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #poetsandwriters #drawing #creative nonfiction #writers on tumblr

[stranger-rants]

No you don’t understand. I need that harringrove hanson yearbook au now 😤

First of all, anyone reading this should listen to Yearbook by Hanson if they haven't done so. (Yes, the Hanson of Mmmbop fame.) It's top notch, but so underrated.

Second of all, I read a book like this in high school. It's called The Body of Christopher Creed by Carol Plum-Ucci. I don't remember a lot of it, but the basic premise is that a teenage boy becomes obsessed with figuring out where his classmate Christopher disappeared to, even though he was never close to him. Along the way he uncovers secrets about him and his family.

...but given Steve's tendency to get involved in things, imagine Steve and Billy having their little antagonistic relationship. Until. Billy is suddenly gone. The first week, no one really thinks of it. Rumors begin to fly once they hit the three week mark. Steve pretends not to care, but the way he just disappeared into thin air is nagging at him. There's no trace of Billy in town, and trust him - he's looked! He's driven by the guy's house.

The weird thing is that his car is still there. Unmoving. The light in his bedroom is never on. And, okay. Steve knows how this looks. He's not trying to stalk Billy, but he can't help but feel like something is very wrong. Everyone acts like it's normal. Billy was a wild guy. He's probably on a bender in Canada. He became a roadie for a popular band. He knocked a girl up and ended up trapped in a shotgun wedding. The gossip gets crazier and crazier the longer time passes.

Steve's investigations bring him everywhere. The woods where he finds Billy's lighter and beer cans. The motel where the old woman working the front desk confirms Billy had been there a few times, sometimes with older women and Steve feels sick to his stomach as he pieces together why Nancy's mom changes the subject so swiftly when he brings up the missing boy.

The worst part is no one reports a missing person. His sister Max is quiet. Susan avoids confrontation. All Neil has to do is stand there, intimidating anyone who comes around asking. When they're not home, Steve ditches school and enlists help to sneak into Billy's bedroom to look for clues. Billy's bedroom looks eerily bare, stripped of any personal items he might have had. He makes it out of Billy's house in time, but not before Neil sees Steve pull away from the curb in his car.

Steve finds evidence of Billy's things donated to local shops and combined with Neil's demeanor, he's now convinced that Billy's dad has done something terrible to him. He tries to go to the police, but they won't listen to him. Hopper has to warn him that if he keeps going after Neil that Neil will press charges against him, but he hints to Steve that something really doesn't feel right about the situation.

Eventually, Max asks Steve to meet her after school. She says Billy was taken in the middle of the night. Abducted. Thrown into a van and sent somewhere for "troubled teens." And Neil let it happen. He made it happen, and if she spoke out she could easily find herself "disappearing" too. She knows he's in danger. The people who took him did so violently while Neil called him every horrible name he could think of in the moment. Neil said he had a right to do it. That Billy was wrong and needed to be "fixed."

Steve and Max team up to find out where Billy's been sent. Max has her hands tied in terms of what she can do, so Steve builds up a movement to put pressure on local police and Neil Hargrove to find out where Billy went. After a long fight lasting almost a year, they find out where Billy was taken and Steve drives out to get him with Max. Asks Max what Neil will think and she says at this point she doesn't care. Hopper stops them from going by themselves, bringing a van full of their friends.

They find the facility. It's not good. Billy's head is shaved. He's thin. Real thin. His skin is worn and his eyes are dull. He won't talk. Hopper sees the state of the facility, and he has it shut down pending further investigation. Billy is taken to the hospital under protective custody. Neil isn't allowed to see him, even though he demands to. When the news breaks, Billy is inundated with cards and supportive messages. Steve's there every day to visit him and make sure he gets better. Then they work on building a relationship.

Note: This is also inspired by the fact that Neil did threaten to send Billy away, and the fact that teens like him are vulnerable to the troubled teen industry.

#asks #yearbook au #i guess i will just call it that #harringrove

[godbirdart]

do you have anything you can share of your rps on proboards? i too miss those days.

ohh man i miss those days so much. my small group of friends in junior high were really into writing about our sparkledog ocs on proboards. we had our own private one dedicated exclusively to our ocs. all our ocs had human, quad and anthro forms and there were so many romantic scandals and plots going on it was MCU levels of convoluted sometimes.

sidenote my best friend at the time and i had a monopoly on the oc roster [it just happened that way] and made up a bunch of wolf gods that drew inspo from greek/roman mythology. each one was a deity of Something and had unique powers. EVERYONE was paired with a mate that somehow managed to corresponded with their own respective power. they had so much going on we often had multiple threads specifically for certain paired characters. if i remember right we created threads for refs, threads for lore, specific universe categories and so on. there was a point i'd even made a seperate website using my neopets-petpage level of html understanding [not too unlike refsheet.net or charahub], listing the bios and relationships of our characters.

my fondest memory was spending the better part of a school year rewriting our ocs into Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End. no, we never rewrote the first or second film. ONLY the third. during this rp we were juggling multiple characters at once, and we did our best to give each character SOMETHING to do. I don't remember which scene we were rewriting but my friend had this old wolf dude named Bon who had NOTHING to do in the moment, so she ended up writing "Bon Breathed" full stop and that shit has stuck with me as the most hilarious thing for well over a decade. We rewrote one or two other things, like Underworld, but the PotC 3 au one was the longest running one.

we all rped together for a few years. by the end of high school i was super interested in making a webcomic for a bit because i'd just discovered resident evil and saw the blackblood wolves starting their comic on deviantart, buuut everyone else was being pressured into picking career paths and/or had lost their creative spark. gotta grow up, i guess.

I've long since lost contact with every person from that group. the majority dropped off the face of the planet immediately after graduation. it sucks, but I still have a bunch of their OC art carefully stored in page protectors in a binder on the shelf beside my desk. i still have notes on each character, and i still have some art from our early deviantart days saved on an external hard drive. i'll likely never see those people again, but the memories leave a warm fond feeling in my chest. i frequently catch myself wondering if i should start that comic i always wanted to make with them.

#i was part of two boards #there was another with vampires n shit but they were kinda boring lmao #sparkledogs for life #i wish i had screenshots or anything of the board itself #but it's looonnnggg long gone

[vhouatroph]

okay, serious post time.

i'm 22, and started playing toontown in 2006. that's 17 years toontown has been in my life so far. toontown has been fundamental to who i am, and my life experiences- i would be an extremely different person if toontown was not part of my life.

toontown is something i can thank for my enjoyment of writing. in 4th grade, one of my first school papers was about how much i loved the game. a little later, i discovered toontown fanfiction. specifically, i discovered "GEARS," by TheEvina. i was enamored by the story, and wanted to write my own.

of course i wasn't actually that great of a writer starting out, but who really is? i just kept at it, and here i am today! i'd like to think i'm at least a half decent writer now :)

toontown youtube was another great discovery i had made when i was young. the random toon show was my absolute favorite youtuber, and i dearly miss him. the "heriotza" movies, inspired by madtoontownreturns's movies, also have a fond place in my heart despite no longer being on youtube, along with several of his oldest songs.

much like with the fanfictions, seeing the cool toontown videos inspired me to make my own. my favorite is probably this one:

again, my videos weren't very good at all! this one was made in windows movie maker, the peak of editing software at the time. but like with everything else, i continued to pursue getting better at videos. in high school we had to choose a track of classes to "prepare us for the real word" and i chose audio/video. even went to college for a/v before they kicked me out bc i couldn't afford it.

i don't think i can really move on from toontown youtube without mentioning joey's old ttmvs. fixing the silly meter is of course the one everyone knows, but he did have a couple others! some of them seem to not be on youtube anymore which makes me kind of sad, but i understand- i did the same with my toontown fanfictions!

to tell you the truth, i can't remember toontown's closure very well. that period of time in general for me is kind of blocked out. don't know why. what i do remember is when toontown rewritten entered semi-open beta and i played the game for the first time again through the playline on june 18th, 2014!

you "beta" believe i was excited- i stayed up until 3am for this! the experience was laggy as hell, and i think at one point loopy lane didn't even have cogs on it. but i was so excited to play toontown again, i didn't even care!

after playing toontown rewritten, i signed up for toonbook. i had been part of the original 2011 toonbook, but i wouldn't be able to say anything about that, as i do not remember it. toonbook was an experience. i met some of my greatest friends on toonbook, and it helped me learn a lot about myself. at the same time, it is a place i do not look back on fondly. i have very complicated feeling about the site.

on october 9 2015, i made Silent, my now main toon. she was royal blue at the time, and became a black cat later that year.

in toontown online, my first toon (skooby) was soundless before i had gotten terminated for hacking. (i was dumb and curious) silent would be the toon to carry on this tradition in toontown rewritten.

as the years continued, i continued to play toontown. even if i took long breaks, i always came back to it, and my friends were there to do activities with me. even if there was nothing big happening, sometimes it was nice to just sit at my estate and play with my doodles.

the night field offices released will live on in my memory as one of the best nights in my entire life. nothing will ever compare to being in a voice chat with my friends the first time we encountered the boiler. i don't really know how else to describe it besides magical. sure we crashed after one round, but another could be tried later!

that night, i completed my first ever field office on toontown rewritten, and it will still live on as one of my favorite experiences in the game ever. i of course continued doing field offices, and still enjoy them immensely. i haven't done a 4 star yet (need to fight 6 18+ cogs 😔) but i hope to some day!

with the most recent toonfest, i am so happy to be a toontown player. everything announced has me extremely excited, and i loved hearing all the backstory on the creation of toontown. this game has been a part of my life for 17 years, and i hope it continues to be part of my life for years to come.

happy 20th birthday, toontown.

#toontown #vhouposting

[lonleymp3girl]

“The body keeps score.”

It’s a phrase I've heard in passing over the years. It's a metaphor about trauma and how even if you do not emotionally feel it, your body does. Trauma can present itself in sickness. It can present itself in small ways that are annoying or just simply inconvenient for you. You don’t understand why your friend touching your back makes you so incredibly uncomfortable, but it does, and you’ll go home and scrub your body raw. Minor mishaps will completely ruin your day, and you don’t want to be like this, but how can you fix something you don’t even see?

I know my trauma. I remember it clearly. My body doesn't need to keep score because I do. I can meticulously trace an unwarranted reaction to the emotional abuse I endured as a child. I can follow the shivers and disgust to being raped. Sometimes I wonder if this has done me more harm then good. Maybe I would’ve been better off never remembering and simply being confused for the rest of my life.

I’ll envy those with large chunks of memory missing, I remember and it haunts my dreams. I become a shell only made to imprison rotten parts of the world. Even with my memory, my body keeps score. I become physically sick when I’m too emotional. A reaction that only presented in high school after I was being abused by a significant other. I’ll break out into hives and my spine wants to break into two. More often than not, my body knows I was wronged before I do.

It’ll send me a stomach ache and then shivers and then hives and so on and so on. I’ve learned to maneuver life knowing that my mind and body were in debt. They had a price to pay for a crime I did not commit.

But my body has failed. It’ll whine and cry over instances that I’d rather forget. But it’ll punish me with abyss when I want to remember. My body will remember violation but it can’t remember my creation. It’ll scream at me when I feel whispers of his hands but when I beg and pled for something of my mother it is silent.

The body keeps score only of destruction but it cannot bear the sight of knowing at some point I was loved. Someone had loved me. Someone had cared.

The body has kept score but god why couldn’t it remember her.

#public diary #im sad #writing #mommy issues #lol #the body keeps score #lonleymp3girl