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sourwolf-sterek32 · 4 months

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The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Alcohol, language

Previous Chapter

Chapter 4- Mistakes were made

Tom Zutaut's girlfriend dragged you into your brothers dressing room because apparently the jeans and leather jacket you were currently wearing wasn't going to cut it for the stage.

"You got five minutes!" Doc shouted from outside the room.

Five fucking minutes. Jesus Christ.

You were going to die.

No wonder the guys were so nervous about this. You were about to go out on stage for the first time in front of 300,000 people. What if you screwed up the lyrics? What if the crowd hated you? What if you tripped over on stage? What if-

"Put these on." Tom's girlfriend suddenly said snapping you out of those horrible thoughts.

She was holding up a pair of black leather pants that you were pretty sure belonged to Vince, but it wasn't like he hadn't worn your clothes before, so this seemed fair.

Before you knew it, Toms girlfriend -who was actually a really nice girl despite the fact she just cheated on her boyfriend in this exact dressing room earlier- had you dressed in an outfit that had you feeling extremely self-conscious.

"Seriously, you look stunning. Just let me..." She trailed off and grabbed her makeup bag and within a few minutes, she had drawn on perfect eyeliner and bright red lipstick as well as adding to your mascara before finishing the look off with a single thin warpaint stripe on your left cheek bone.

Your first thought was - Oh, God, Nikki is going to hate that. Quickly followed up by, you were actually going to die on stage dressed in this.

You stared at yourself in the mirror taking in the tight leather pants and matching black heeled cowgirl boots. That part of the outfit was fine. It was the black laced bra under your open leather vest that showed too much cleavage and skin for your liking which was the problem.

"Can't I zip up the vest?" You asked, motioning towards the perfectly functioning zip.

"No. You look fucking amazing. Come on." She grabbed your hand and pulled you back out the changing room before you could say anything else.

Tommy was the first to see you. His jaw quite literally fell open with a shocked gasp before quickly covering his mouth with his hands realising what he did.

That caught the rest of the guy's attention. Mick gave you a quick once over taking in the outfit before nodding in approval, but Nikki's eyes widened as he looked you up and down in utter surprise before averting his gaze.

"Oh, hell no!" Vince exclaimed, shaking his head. "She's barely wearing anything!"

"She's wearing more than you!" Tom's girlfriend shot back fiercely motioning at your brother's practically shirtless body.

She had a point.

Vince glared at the woman but couldn't really say much in fear of her blabbing about what the two of them just did in the change room.

"At least do up the fucking vest." Vince pleaded.

"Gladly." You zipped up the vest instantly causing Tom's girlfriend to sigh.

"Let's compromise." She said, stepping forward and lowering the zip down to the middle of your stomach so that your black lacey bra was still visible. "Better?" She asked pointily looking at Vince.

"Not really." He answered.

"Too bad."

"So, what do I do exactly?" You asked changing the topic before your brother could say anything else. "Like, just stand in the corner and sing the backup lyrics?"

"There's already a microphone setup for you between Vince and Nikki. Can you dance?" Doc asked and he must have seen the look of absolute horror on your face at his question because he didn't wait for a verbal answer. "Doesn't matter. You don't have to. Just sing the backup lyrics and try to look like you're having fun."

"I don't know if that's possible, Doc. I feel like I'm gonna pass out." You admitted, resting your hand over your chest as you sucked in a deep shaky breath.

Vince sighed, "I'll guide you through it. It's gonna be fine."

You glanced over at your brother who, despite hating this idea, was trying his best to reassure you.

"C'mon guys. It's nearly time." Nikki announced, motioning everyone towards the stage.

You trailed behind the guys up the steps to the side of the stage, your legs feeling like jelly and ready to collapse at any moment.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Nikki whispered, grabbing Vince's shoulder. "You do realise we just signed a record deal with his company and that fucking his girlfriend could seriously fuck that up?"

Vince smirked, patting him on the shoulder, "only if he finds out, man."

Tommy suddenly leant over the railing and threw up.

Yeah, you felt like doing that too.

"Seriously, we're gonna die." Mick muttered under his breath.

"I'm good!" Tommy insisted, grabbing a random beer from the table beside him and taking a large drink which you didn't exactly think was a good idea, but he already drank it before you could say otherwise.

"Right, listen up. Come on, gather round, guys." Nikki ordered holding his arms out and ushering the boys towards him.

You remained standing by the railing and watched them as they huddled around each other. Nikki lifted his head from the huddle and glanced over at you, a million different emotions washing over his face in a singular moment, but they were gone before you could decipher any of them.

"Get in here, princess." Nikki instructed, holding his arm out.

That nickname had stuck since the first day you walked into their apartment and after all these months you had given up trying to change that.

Taking in a deep breath, you joined the huddle as Nikki and Tommy wrapped their arms around you.

"Look where we are. We've got an old man, a kid drummer, a cover band singer, a new girl and a fucking runaway." Nikki's eyes met yours briefly. "No one would have thought we'd make it here, so fuck them. Win it all or lose it all, we're Mötley fuckin' Crüe. So let's destroy these motherfuckers!"

"Yeah!" The guys all cheered, their nerves twisting into excitement from adrenaline.

Fuck, you couldn't do this.

"You got this." Mick insisted, reaching up and giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

You simply nodded despite not believing him in the slightest.

"Ladies and gentlemen, from Los Angeles, Mötley Crüe!" A voice over the speakers announced.

"Don't look at the crowd. I'll be next to you the whole time, so will Vince. Just look at us, okay?" Nikki whispered into your ear. "It's gonna be fine."

Vince suddenly reached out and grabbed your hand and before you realised what was happening, you were on stage in front of thousands of people.

Holy shit.

Flames burst out from the front of the stage and the entire crowd went nuts. Vince led you over to your designated microphone making sure you were okay... or as okay as possible, before he turned to the crowd and threw his fist in the air causing them to scream louder before Tommy started on the drums.

"Title track from our up-and-coming album. We call it Shout at the Devil!" Vince spoke through his microphone.

You felt like a statue standing stiffly behind your own microphone unable to tear your eyes away from the mass number of people before you. Nikki said not to look at the crowd, but fuck, you couldn't look away.

The crowd stretched for as far as you could see. It was quite literally a sea of people. 300,000 people Tom had said.

Holy fuck.

Suddenly, Nikki appeared in front of you, blocking your view of the crowd like he could somehow sense your thoughts. He continued to play the bass while thumping his head to the beat of Tommys drums, but his eyes were glued to yours and silently asking if you were okay.

No, you were definitely not okay. And you felt like you were going to throw up at any moment.

This was so much bigger than the club crowds during your backup singing days with Vince's band, Rock Candy. This was so far out of your comfort zone, you couldn't even see the zone anymore. It was gone and you were downright terrified.

Nikki shifted until he was standing beside you. You forced your eyes to follow him instead of looking at the crowd and he didn't look away from you either before he leant towards your microphone instead of going back to his own.

"Shout Shout Shout..."

Nikki sung into the microphone giving you a small encouraging nod and after the third repeat, you began to sing it too.

"Shout Shout Shout."

"Shout at the Devil!" Vince screamed into his microphone.

The fans cheered loudly, and you hesitantly looked away from Nikki and scanned the large crowd while your brother continued to sing.

Nikki remained by your side for a little while, his shoulder brushing yours whenever you'd both use the microphone, but it wasn't long before you began to slip right into place and got lost in the music.

After finishing Shout at the Devil, you knew Mötley Crüe had made it.

The crowd had never heard the song before but by the end, they were singing along, pumping their fists into the air. With every word Vince sung, every guitar lick Mick played, the crowd ripped in response.

Your confidence began to rise with each song, and by the end of it, you were sad that it was over.

"Holy fucking shit, dude! That was awesome!" Tommy exclaimed while the four of you walked back down the corridor from the stage, the crowd still cheering and clapping behind you.

Your heart was beating out of your chest. Hands trembling by your side from the adrenaline of the show, but you couldn't wipe the smile from your face because Tommy was right, that was fucking awesome.

"How do you feel, sis?" Vince asked, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he walked in step with you.

"Ask me tomorrow?" You answered because honestly, you couldn't put a label on your emotions right now.

That show was fucking epic.

Vince chuckled softly, "you did good. Real good."

"You guys were fantastic, and MTV want an interview. Follow me." Doc instructed.

Within a few minutes, you and the band were squished together on a leather couch in front of a cameraman while an MTV interviewer sat in the seat opposite.

You were seated between Nikki and Tommy, their shoulders and thighs pressed against yours due to the small couch. Tommy was bouncing his leg either from nerves or from the adrenaline still soaring through his veins. Maybe a combination of both.

The interviewer asked the general questions which the guys all answered easily. He asked about the new Shout at the Devil album questioning whether it supported satanic worship which Nikki was quick to shut down.

"It says Shout at the Devil. Not Shout with the Devil. At the Devil." He explained pointing to the vinyl record cover that the interviewer had handed him.

You had to hide your smirk at his words because it wasn't that long ago Nikki had actually wanted to call the album Shout with the Devil, but Electra were quick to shut that down.

"Vince, your little sister has officially joined Mötley Crüe. Is that correct?" The interviewer asked changing the topic as he looked over at your brother.

Officially joined Mötley Crüe? Um, no. That was not correct. None of you have had a chance to even talk about this. Would they even want you to be a backup singer at other shows?

Vince leant forward and glanced over at you before looking to Nikki, Tommy and Mick. The three of them seemed to have a silent conversation that you were not part of before Vince turned back to the interviewer and nodded.

"Y/N is officially our new backup singer."

Holy shit.

Seriously?

"How does it feel Y/N?" The interviewer asked, addressing you directly for the first time since he started asking the band questions.

"Unreal." You answered nervously but honestly.

"Boys what is it like having Y/N as Mötley's new backup singer?"

"Oh, it's great!" Nikki answered without hesitation, and to your surprise, he sounded genuine.

"She's been with us since the start, man. She's always supported and helped us out before we even played our first show. She might be the new backup singer, but she isn't new to Mötley Crüe." Tommy answered.

Your heart swelled at his words, and you could feel your cheeks blushing, so you ducked your head a little allowing your hair to fall over your face hoping to block the redness on your cheeks.

"Vince, are you worried these guys might steal your sister?"

"They know Y/N is off limits." Your brother answered easily. "I made that clear months ago."

He did. He made that very clear back when you first moved into the Mötley House with them. At the time, you had been frustrated with him because Tommy and Nikki were both attractive guys and you wouldn't have been opposed to something happening between them. But now, there was no way you would do that.

You'd never act on your attraction to those guys. Vince would probably kill them and that would be the end of Mötley Crüe. You were not going to risk that, and you certainly were not going to be the reason for the breakup of Mötley Crüe. No way.

"So, no one has made a move on her? I find that extremely hard to believe." The interviewer stated looking at the guys doubtfully before his eyes focused on you. "I mean, surely someone has. Her outfit with that body..."

The interviewer's eyes shifted down to your chest and he wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was staring at your boobs.

"My eyes are up here." You said sternly pointing to your eyes while glaring at the man.

"You can't wear that and not expect me to... anyway, there is no way one of you boys haven't tried to fuck her."

"What the hell did you just say?" Vince questioned anger evident in his tone.

You quickly reached for the zip of your vest and yanked it up covering your upper body completely.

"I meant no offence. Your sister is a beautiful woman. And that exposing outfit she was wearing on stage and now..." He began to say pointing towards you before looking to the other guys. "...there is no way one of you haven't touched that."

"This interview is fucking over!" Vince growled standing up from the couch abruptly.

Tommy and Nikki quickly stood too and stepped in front of you protectively blocking the interviewers view of you.

"Get the fuck out!" Nikki ordered pointing to the door.

"Oh, come on. You can't be serious?" The interviewer asked looking between the guys.

"You're about to see how fucking serious I am." Vince threatened, his fist clenched and ready for a fight. "Get out! Now!"

"You heard them." Mick suddenly said standing up slowly, his hand grabbing Vince's shoulder to stop him from doing anything stupid. "Get out."

You remained seated on the couch lifting your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them trying to cover your body despite the vest now being zipped up entirely.

It was stupid to wear this on stage. You knew it was.

The interviewer and cameraman quickly left the room and practically ran into Doc on their way leaving Mötley's manager standing in the doorway in utter confusion.

"What the hell happened during the interview?"

"That fucking guy is banned from all our shows!" Vince's voice raised an octave as he spoke. "Make sure he doesn't hang around."

Doc clearly had a million more questions but did as the singer asked and left the room to ensure the MTV interviewer was leaving immediately.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Tommy asked, his voice so much calmer and gentler than your brothers.

You looked up to find both him and Nikki now looking at you as you sat on the couch hugging your knees to your chest.

"It was stupid to wear this on stage." You whispered, shaking your head at yourself.

You knew what men were like. You should have seen all of that coming from a mile away. Your jeans and leather jacket would have been a better option.

Sure, you had felt self-conscious at first in this outfit but once you were on stage and singing... you were more confident than you had ever felt. The outfit had grown on you. You had started to like it, but now... fuck this outfit. Fuck that interviewer.

"Hey, no. It wasn't." Tommy insisted, sliding over and sitting beside you. "It wasn't stupid."

You scoffed, "it was."

"It wasn't." Nikki insisted.

Tears were burning in the back of your eyes, but you refused to let them spill. It was stupid. Why were you even upset about this? It wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't like you hadn't dealt with sexist assholes before.

He was meant to be an MTV interviewer. He was meant to ask about the show, about the songs, about the new album. But instead, all he cared about was what you were wearing, and which guy had fucked you.

"You were right." You said, your voice barely above a whisper as you glanced over at Vince. "I shouldn't have worn this."

Your brother let out a deep exhale. The anger soaring through him slowly subsiding as he walked over and plonked himself down on the couch beside you.

"I wasn't right."

You tilted your head towards him as a silent tear trickled down your cheek and you quickly averted your gaze and wiped it away.

"He ain't worth your tears." Vince wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side. "Fuck that guy, okay? Fuck him."

"Yeah, fuck him." Tommy agreed from your other side while Mick and Nikki nodded in agreement from where they were standing.

You smiled softly, "thank you for defending me."

"You mess with one member of Mötley Crüe, you mess with all of us." Nikki simply stated, his sea green eyes meeting yours as he gave you a small smile from the corner of his mouth. "Welcome to the band."

Later that night the band all retreated back to the hotel you were staying at and dispersed to your own rooms to get changed. You thought about having a shower, but decided to have one in the morning instead, so you stripped out of your concert clothes and switched back to the jeans and leather jacket you had been wearing earlier.

The singular warpainted stripe was still on your left cheek and the more you looked at it, the more you liked it.

You didn't want Nikki to feel as if you were trying to copy him, especially after Tommy now had warpaint too, but he never commented on the stripe when he saw it and didn't seem to care, so that was a small relief.

Grabbing your key, you locked your hotel room behind yourself and wandered across the hall to room 32 which was Vince's.

With the benefit of hindsight, you should have knocked on the door first. But the two of you still shared a bedroom back at the Mötley House, so you didn't even think and twisted the knob walking inside to see if your brother was ready to go to the bar.

That was your first mistake for the night.

"Hey, Vince, are you ready- EW!" You gasped, instantly covering your eyes at the sight before you.

Your brothers naked back and ass was facing you while he pounded into some woman leaning over the bed across the room. You had no idea if it was Toms girlfriend or not, but you were not going to look to find out that answer.

"Y/N! Get out!" Vince shouted over his shoulder.

"Learn to lock your door!"

"Learn to fucking knock!" He shot back before you slammed the door shut.

"Fucking gross." You mumbled to yourself trying to fight the urge to gag at that vivid image now seared into your brain.

Sadly, that was not the first time you had walked in on Vince fucking someone, and you hated to admit, but knowing your brother, it wouldn't be the last either.

"Got an eye full?" Tommy's voice called out in amusement.

You tilted your head to the left to find the drummer walking out his own hotel room further down the corridor and simply nodded, screwing your face up in disgust.

Tommy grinned, "I did the same thing a few minutes ago. He needs to learn to lock his door."

"Tell me about it!"

Pushing yourself away from the door, you made your way over to Tommy noting he switched out his red and black leather pants for simple black ones and a tank top. He still had his eyeliner and warpaint on his cheek and you smiled looking at it.

"You were great out there tonight." Tommy suddenly said, his hazel eyes flashing down to your own warpaint before those dreamy eyes met yours and he smiled shyly. "I mean, I knew you could sing, but man, that was- that was great."

You smiled, "thanks Tommy."

"Nikki and Mick are at the club across the road. Wanna get some drinks?"

"Hell yeah."

That was your second mistake of the night.

It wasn't the first time you had been out drinking with the guys, far from it. You went out drinking with them most nights after their shows, it was nothing new. Mick would stick with vodka, Vince with whatever alcohol he could get his hands on along with cocaine (which you hated with a passion, and he knew it) while Nikki and Tommy would drink and snort anything within sight. That's just what the guys did and although you didn't approve of the mass number of drugs, you weren't their mother nor manager, it wasn't your place to comment on it.

So, you'd usually stick with whatever alcohol you wanted and let the guys go loose. However, tonight, you joined them on the loose part wanting to forget about that MTV interview.

By the time you realised that you had drunk too much, it was already too late. So your intoxicated brain figured you might as well keep drinking.

That was your third mistake of the night.

You had vague memories of dancing on top of the pool table with Nikki and Tommy throwing money at you for the performance. You could remember all the shots Vince and Mick ordered for the group, but after that, it was all fuzzy.

So, you really had no idea how you ended up in Tommy's bed the following morning.

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST pinned to profile.

If you want to be tagged just let me know.

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #nikki sixx x you #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx fanfiction #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfiction #motley crue x reader #motley crue fanfiction #imagine #the dirt #mick mars

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moossings · 6 months

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drawn in

the f1 mafia au that no one asked for and won't leave my brain at all. mainly charlos, but featuring most of the grid and ex drivers. i've been worldbuilding with @5ainz (bless for bearing with me) and in between drawings and character sheets, i ventured to write this tiny snippet to hype myself (and be less scared of writing). if you read this, thank you and enjoy! ✨

“You shouldn't be here.”

Carlos’ eyes don’t move from the painting. The Death of the Virgin, by Caravaggio. He smiles to himself, shaking his head. He wouldn’t expect less from the Rosso Corsa, always proud and ready to show off their legacy. Come to think about it, everything in his life was linked to red somehow. And at the same time, inevitably, to the wounds it left.

“Are you going to kick me out, altezza reale? Like a bad behaved dog?” He does turn his head then. His tone is supposed to be mocking, but the moment brown eyes meet green, his resolution falters.

Charles Leclerc, composed as ever, stands on the door, as if he had just closed it. Carlos swears he hears the lock turn as well, but his mind is rather busy tracking every single hair out of place, from the top of his head to the strands scattering on his forehead. His gun feels heavy where it rests in its holster under his jacket.

“And aren’t you the most loyal one? Fernando must be proud.” Charles leaves the door to stand next to Carlos, shoulders almost brushing but not close enough. It’s their thing, throw knives and dodge, push and pull. The Inspector’s little prince and the right hand of the Spanish Samurai.

The silence between them is not awkward, but it feels tense in the same way the air is charged right before a storm. They look at the painting, but the details they recollect are not the brushstrokes or perspective of the piece. It’s the subtle hints of cologne coming off Charles’ skin when he tilts his head, following the lines of the old wood on the frame instead of the ones of Carlos’ perfectly tailored suit. It’s the flex on Carlos’ clenched fists as his mind repeats over and over how very not good it would be to reach and find out how Charles’ hands feel with their fingers laced.

“Did you know,” Carlos says, his voice almost a whisper. “This painting was rejected by the patron who commissioned it. No one had ever painted the actual death of the Virgin, it was a dogma, and Caravaggio depicted her as mortal: pale, bloated and devoid of spirit.” He sighs and looks sideways at Charles, from under his lashes. “It is also said that Caravggio painted her after a prostitute, so maybe that was the real reason.”

Charles tries to school his features, to stop the smile from being evident, but those sweet dimples betray him. Time to stop pretending, it seems. “I didn’t know you were interested in art.” He turns to face Carlos fully, carefully studying the strong features he usually only catches in glimpses. He is setting the ground for truce, building the bridge.

Carlos chuckles, and it sounds tired. “Really? Don’t tell me Sebastian didn’t include it in my file. He used to be more thorough with his research, he is starting to slip.” But he still faces Charles, willing to meet him halfway. “There is a lot more that you couldn’t possibly know.”

“What if I wanted to find out? What would it take?” Charles takes a step forward. Carlos lets him.

“Stupidity. Recklessness. Naivety.” He counts with his fingers, brows furrowed but playful smirk. Charles can’t really tell which one he actually means. “Trust.”

“That sounds like a challenge, Sainz.” And Charles has never backed up from one. Today is not the day he’ll start.

He extends his hand and, in seconds, a warm bigger one takes it in a firm but soft grip.

“It’s Carlos.” A smirk draws up the corners of his full lips. “You are in for a ride, cariño.”

#mm: writing adventures #mm: mafia au #charlos #1655 #charlos au #f1 rpf #ficlet #i'm scared af to post this but oh well #i'm going to keep worldbuilding and drawing my babies in this #hopefully i will get the courage to write a full fic about it eventually #please be kind i'm actually terrified

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l-flyhight · 5 months

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Kung fu panda the dragon knight characterisation and scene analysis. (Shipping problems aswell)

(This has been a long time brewing)

Disclaimer : this analysis is strictly from my trained observation using proof and layout of a scene. Thusly any scene signifiers and connotations used is viewed not from an audiences eye but from the perspective of a media analyst and animator view. Consideration under the ruling that this is merely by anaysis. disagreements while valid are not to be posted"

(Also take a shot for how many times the word subtle is mentioned)

Right so where do i begin? Where all things start i suppose. The premise.

To cut a long symopsis short two weasels travel to china to gain magical relics and po must stop them. Along with a knight from England whos agender relies heavily on revenge.

Simple plot. Nothing special. I can deal with it. Fine.

But things get complicated along the way as things do. While season 1 and 2 are flawed its fun. Like paws of destiny. Just a pinch of salt. Fun.

But i still have issues and one such is the nonsensical chaos that is implied in shipping. I was quite happy with the subtle chemistry and bonding po and blade had. Subtle being the key word.

ive a degree in snimation and excelled in character design, lore and characteristic signifiers. The subtlety here is how po would look at her during the moon festival. Its not platonic. Why you ask? He looked her over up and down in a way that signfied a hint just a hint of developing affection.

Now fast forward to when blade was angry with him saying po took advantage of her anxieties so she could let her gaurd down and unwind a little.

So lets look at how po spoke suring his response. The cues as it were dictate

"I just wanted you to see what you'd miss about china - and...what you'd miss about me"

The last part wasnt as strong at the opening statement. Their was a pause. That pause shows sadness and the rest of it was said in a gentle vulnerable way. Perspective? One of two things po is an innocent guy so it could be construed as him just wishing to be missed but due to the cues again can be caught as something else.

Blade throughout season one and two actually likes po for him. They've bonded through thick and thin.

So now we come to the simp himself Collin. So here we had emphasis on had a bad ass tracker who was tracking down blade because she was a wanted criminal. Po was collateral or at the very least he saw as an accomplice. Now this comes to an important analysis. Towards the end of season 1 blade and collin are fighting on top of the mountain. Collin is very vehement on doing his job. Fair enough. But lets for a moment fast forward to season 3 where he literally simps for blade because reasons? If he hesitated during that fight in season one just for a moment that the stones for s3 are set. But nope.

Also lets look at some signifiers that suggest romantic scenes. Or at the very least implied. Back to season 1 end. Po and blade share a very long hug. Po even leans into it nose to neck. Intimate. But we also see the romantic view of the mountain scape. Its drawn out to say the least. Ooookay subtle doesnt need to have any emphasis on it really.

If po hugged tigress like this then people would be frothing and loving it and i digress the scene sets itself. You do not hug fruends in this manner as its considered affectionate or intimate.

Bored yet? Annoyed that theirs analyse? Well its not over yet and it only gets worse.

So season 2 is littered with what we can call growth between our band of heroes. Po and blade holding hands all the time. The bit that comes later worth note is when blade is at her most vulnerable and po writes in a book about the rules of being a dragon knight. He doodles master masterdon giving po a piggyback. When blade mentions it po gets all embarrassed which again is subtle like he doesnt want to look like a dork in front of his friend. He later grabs blades hand and fistbumps the air. Staying like that for a bit. Now while this is sweet and hes very much riding out the high.

"You can let go now"

"Not yet"

But again it shows chemistry and banter of growth. A huge contrast in season 1. Growth.

Season 3 is such a mess. Pacing of story issues. Character cringe. Twists that actually made no sense and at one point they could of very well summoned captain planet.

So collin still wants to bring blade in but hes not subtle about showing he very well has a crush on blade. Now this gets rather intrusive as the episodes continue. Collin doesn't really add anything to the group. Akna has her ingenuity though is socially awkward. Ruhkmini is the literal voice of reality but brings the group together with hiw resourceful she is. Collin just stumbles along. Which again is a shame considering what he brought in season 1. Weiman was also wasted potential.

So season three kills off the main villian which is somewhat derivative. Veruca was such a poignant character with a goal in mind to ravage England from those that rejected them to create something new. Fine this was fine and they should have kept it that way. But no.

So lets cue to season 3 where blade reunites with po. He runs to her picks her up, spins her around and they hug? This is very romantic coded. You would not pick up your sibling this way nor a friend. Later we find po is so depressed that blade does all she can to help him (the episode is one such pacing issue) so both are in a gorge po is paralysed by a plant and cant move and blade is literally high of a plants pollin. I wish i was joking. So po does everything in his power not to get up or attempt to rid the paraylse but to hold her hand. Again subtle.

So lets cue to the end if we can even call it that. Collin asks blade out finially asking her i suppose and she just shook her head. Keeping it open i guess as her response could be taken in a few ways. But theirs a but. Then we see blade returning to china to star gaze with po which is a stark contrast to season 1. They also share baobao buns. In a moonlit restorant outside in a seating area. Signifiers, the moon has such strong romantic connotations.

England has nothing for blade anymore. Shes a wanderer free to go as she pleases. Unhindered and in no ones shadow. So if she actually said yes to collin it would complicate a lot. She doesn't want to be a knight and being a debutante is something she voiced very clearly thats not what she wanted. Whats she going to do wait till hes fone with the dutys for the day and thats it? Collin would possibly like that. No actual chemistry between them. It'll be like zuko from the legend of Aang falling in love with after after chasing him all over the globe.

Blade is independent and from what we do see she comes back to po?

The whole bestie signifier just isnt convincing nor is this oh they act like siblings. Its as if they were queer coded. Like perish the thought po would be into another a bear.

This is long overdue and again i really wanted to get into alot. So much more about pacing issues and when the script contradicted what we actually saw.

Po and blade for the record never actually wanted to officially get together. I was quite happy for them to be hinted at, subtle and sweet.

End of shipping/character analysis. Now piss off im tired.

(British humour)

(Will need revising at some point)

#kung fu panda dragon knight #rant post #shipping #shitpost

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dinitride-art · 2 years

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Lighting and Mike and Will and El - Full Analysis (Pt. 7)

This one is just going to focus on El getting arrested. There’s quite a bit there to work with in terms of light, which surprised me at first but.

It makes sense.

(Also stuff in brackets? Not related to the light analysis. I just kept getting distracted by colours and characters,

anyways-)

S4:E3 - Getting Arrested

So, the cops show up at the door. Will and Jonathan are in frame and the lighting is normal.

Then El and Mike come down the stairs and Will’s lighting gets a little brighter. Compared to Mike and El, it almost seems like Will is the main focus of this shot.

But El is the one getting arrested.

This also happens before they fully know what’s going on, so it makes sense that Will’s lighting shines like that. This is a group shot with Mike clearly looking in.

While our view does come from the door, there are a lot of perspectives there. Our two prominent narrators, Mike and El, are also present. So it’s more likely than not that the light is being dictated by one of them.

And here is where I think that this is fully Mike’s perspective. Like the scene with the disco ball, Mike’s attention is on El again, but only because it has to be. Something bad is happening, she’s getting arrested and they just fought, and this is where his attention is drawn to her.

But her face is still half in shadow, similar to Mike’s perspective of her at Rink O’ Mania. I don’t think that Mike is necessarily scared of her here, but more so scared for her. But with how Mike saw her at Rink O’ Mania, it could be either one.

And Mike, in El’s perspective, is carrying that same light from before. Even though we know that the light doesn’t really naturally fall like that on him. I think that’s her shoulder in bottom left of the shot as well, indicating an over the shoulder view. (I should look up what that’s actually called)

(Oh! It’s called an Over-The-Shoulder shot or and OTS shot. It can indicate and understanding in a conversation between two characters?? I’m looking at this and it’s really cool. And like the switch from over the shoulder to single view can contrast that understanding?? !!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!! And there are things called POV shots! Reading this, it’s saying that it starts with a character being established as looking at something and then a first person view. It’s like the second to last picture I put in this post with Mike behind the grate. That’s so cool!!!!!!

might make a post about different types of shots though so I can have it as a resource. And because it’s really fucking cool

anyways, sorry, back to the analysis- )

When El is in the car, there is a window between her and Mike. Mike and barriers is a reoccurring theme this season, but this is one of the first times it comes up this explicitly.

The lighting here is following El’s narration. But what’s interesting is that Mike’s face is beginning to look bit less bright. Like when Mike left the room and we were briefly in Will’s perspective. But we’re still in El’s perspective.

And now we see Mike’s view (OTS shot, so cool) of El. Again, the light on her face is normal, even a little dimmer than we’d expect on a character.

Switching back to El’s perspective once more, we can see that Mike’s face is still half shaded.

El might be realizing something here about her and Mike’s relationship.

Also i forgot to mention it before, but her and Mike are both wearing blue plaid, but Mike’s has yellow stripes and El’s has red. El’s costume carries through the rest of the season and it’s really cool to see her slowly loose all the blue from her outfit. I think she does realize that she needs to let go of Mike at the end of it, so it’s not all bad.

Character growth is always nice.

We’re in Mike’s narration here because El is gone. This frame has Mike, Jonathan and Will in mostly normal lighting. Will is a little brighter but it’s not to much of a concern yet.

Until he starts talking and puts an arm in from of Jonathan and Mike. The angelic lighting starts to return as soon as Mike’s attention is further drawn to him.

Also, Will’s shirt here is blue, red and yellow (and white but that’s less important-I think. Anything's possible). In a few of the Rink O’ Mania shots, Will was framed with mostly blue and yellow light but also a few small red ones. Like when They’re in the booth, the red light shines on Will’s side first in the reflection on the divider (disco ball in the middle), and when him and Mike are arguing, there is a red exit sign in the background.

I think that the red in Will’s outfit and framing is indicative of one of two things: Will and El being similar people. or Mike seeing El where Will is/being aware of her.

(With will and el being similar people, I mean that they’re very much siblings at this point. They’ve had tones of parallels throughout the series and if there is a bond that can’t be broken, it’s Will and El’s. We call them twins all the time but, it really is what their relationship is like. A key difference between Will and El, and Henry, is that Will and El don’t hurt people without reason. Without good reason. Season one, Will grabbed a shotgun because he was being chased by whatever kidnapped him. But we never saw a shot fired, even then. And El has only hurt people when she feels extremally threatened- with Angela she tried to make peace before Angela went too far- and when they’re hurting her friends. Henry is far more self righteous than them.

I keep getting distracted, my god

back to the analysis, again-)

I didn’t go too in depth into the light colours at Rink O’ Mania (there was a lot going on) but it’s kind of neat.

Back to El, she’s being taken away. She looks back out at Mike who ran out to the van.

We can tell because of the grate that we’re seeing though her eyes. This is also the second barrier for Mike this season (visually represented, there are other barriers like fitting in at school and other non-visual metaphors).

She sees mike completely in shadow here. At this point in her narration, her view of Mike has changed.

We can see, going closer to Mike, that this lighting isn’t the same as what El saw. There is light on Mike’s face, but El didn’t see it.

El knows that Mike doesn’t love her, not in the way she wants him to. His monologue was such a disaster because she knows, and she knows that he lies all the time.

One last thing about costuming here, with the blue plaid, is that we see the yellow and blue disappear from Mike and El’s respective outfits. It’s like El was trying to be like Mike, and Mike was trying to be the things that El likes. It’s also really cute that yellow is one of El’s favourite colours because her and Will are really similar. But also- ( i can’t find the picture but)

In one of the shots with Mike on El’s bed, the picture visible in the corner of El’s Mike shrine was a cut out of mike surrounded by yellow paper. And in the car, driving home from Rink O’ Mania, Mike is framed by yellow again.

A lot of what’s going on with Mike and El seems to be them embracing who they are as people. With blue and yellow disappearing, they’re not preforming themselves for other people anymore, they’re just themselves.

Will being represented by yellow also tells us a lot about Mike.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 (To be edited)

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #eleven hopper #will byers #byler theory #the lights #i havent fully thought towards the colours yet #but i do think that theyre really interesting #and that they do show development in mike and els cahracters #and wills honestly #he did the same thing here with blue and then switching over to yellow #the three of them are absolute dissasters #there is so much to say about the colours #but i cant go into it here #because this anaylsis is already going to be at least twelve parts #and thats just on light

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jmdbjk · 2 years

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Kim Taehyung

Yes, just finished watching Tae’s vlog where all he did was drive around and listen to music. Got a few things to say...

From the moment he sat his butt down in that car, I was totally mesmerized, totally enamored, 100% DOWN for him! When he is just Kim Taehyung he is just a normal dude jamming to his tunes while driving down the highway with the window down on an incredibly beautiful day. JUST LIKE US. Except he can call his dentist and without any notice whatsoever, zip in and get a chipped tooth fixed. Yeah, that’s not just like us but anyway.

Just to get some perspective on his drive, this is one of the points I noticed:

How far he drove past the tunnels? Who knows, but the driving time between the middle of Seoul, say, the HYBE building for instance, and somewhere past the Semiwon Garden is probably an hour and a half or so? We don’t know where he began, all that is just a wild guess, but the tunnels are recognizable.

His choice of music is outstanding. Going from Troye Sivan to Bing Crosby...please hahahahaha!!! So eclectic. And when Procol Harum started playing, that’s when I totally lost it ...THAT. IS. MY. JAM!!! Well, before BTS that was my jam. That makes me sound much older than I am but I can’t deny my rock music roots. It is what it is.

The person who writes the captions...seriously...I am coming for your job. You better watch your back. You are me, I am you. Especially when you pointed out the bird poo on the railing. If I was a YouTube reactor, I would be hitting stop and rewatching that moment and going berserk repeatedly...so just be glad I’m into writing this Tumblr blog and not that.

Just driving around, stopping for a snack then lunch, probably charming the shit out of the restaurant people, stopping for a game of virtual golf and then capping it all off with dinner and an impromptu game of ‘name that tune.’ So if you were sitting in traffic that day and looked over at the car next to you and you see Kim Taehyung jammin’ to his music while driving do you just shit your pants right there and have to turn around and go home or .... we will never know will we?

That was definitely a lot of fun. I am certain the rest of the vlogs will be just as fun to watch. Yes, absolutely cannot wait for Jimin’s.

When I watch Tae in various content like during this vlog and in other situations like concerts, during other performances and all the variety shows and interviews, I see his personality shine through and I just love him.

So...here’s the part where I go off the rails...of all the crazy discourse in this fandom, the segment we call the <<cult>> just becomes more and more of an unacceptable aberration to me. It already was very much out of hand with the whole attack on that model dude and the jewelry maker, but looking at the big picture, how can anyone claim to be a fan of Kim Taehyung and treat him the way they do? You can say that it was just a few bad actors in that group but no...they enable each other, they allow their incredibly deceptive intentions to flourish and they are 100% not wanted in the fandom. What they do is beyond shipping. It is destructive manipulation. Anywho...got that out of my system.

That’s not what I was shook about. I was shook about watching this incredibly [did I already use that word? I did, oh well here it is again] incredibly (x4) captivating man just be himself for a little over 52 minutes.

I have to admit...and this will not sit well with some but here is a little TMI... after Jimin and Jungkook, I have an informal and somewhat uncongealed order of preference for the rest of the members: Hobi/Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin/Tae. BUT I LOVE THEM ALL DON’T COME FOR ME.

I absolutely adore all of them. It’s just that my attention is drawn by them in that somewhat fluid order. Tae is in last place a lot. Because of the cult. See what I mean? They are destructive.

[Apologies for being shook momentarily in teh middle of watching it... normally I am a very calm and collected little bean with a very discerning eye.]

#these tags will probably be the death of me #taekook #y'all are destructive manipulators #there #i said it #you need to do a cleansing of your segment of the fandom #gets my ban hammer ready #to bop the little festering ulcers

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themculibrary · 1 year

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Fluff And Humor Masterlist

100% Professional (ao3) - NotEvenCloseToStraight peter/wade M, 22k

Summary: When massage therapist!Peter gets a call for a meet-and-greet appointment in a ritzy part of town, he doesn’t expect tall, scarred and holy muscles to open the door. Drawn first to Wade’s smile and then to the pain radiating out from the soldier, Peter tries to do everything he can to help Wade while also fighting his own attraction because ho ho holy crap is it a bad idea to sleep with clients. He is NOT that kind of massage therapist.

Ex- soldier!Wade can hardly leave the house any more, too wracked with pain to make it very far out the door, too self conscious of his ruined skin to attempt dating or even friendships. But when Peter smiles at him, laughs with him, and somehow isn't icked out by Wade’s… mess… he starts thinking that maybe life could be something good again.

Healing happens with both hands and hearts, and if Peter can manage to stay even a little bit professional long enough for Wade to get up the courage to ask him on a date, maybe they’ll find another use for all that massage oil.

(Dis)Connected (ao3) - lantia4ever tony/stephen, wanda/vision T, 50k

Summary: After Thanos is defeated - thanks to the mysteriously missing Time stone, Tony can’t wait to dive into his retirement plans. He buys a nice little penthouse apartment, moves in his bot family and with the new Avengers taking care of business now, he can finally rest his weary body and haunted mind.

Powerful relics don’t just disappear into thin air though, and he soon finds out that the view and the piano are not the only things he bought along with his new home.

It’s not like realtors would come clean about annoying, medieval-looking ghosts that keep showing up, claiming this is their home, their piano and that they are most certainly not dead.

from your perspective, the world is flat (ao3) - blueh T, 18k

Summary: Peter successfully goes on a field trip, accidentally catches the school bleachers, survives a bus explosion, and reveals his identity as Spider-Man.

…not necessarily in that order, much to the confusion of his entire decathlon team.

also known as: Peter Parker and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I'll Just Hold Onto That For You (Your Heart) (ao3) - maxxrose bucky/steve/tony M, 147k

Summary: OR.... the one where Tony calls Bucky a murder muffin and Steve is so on board with that.

in an empty moral space (ao3) - blueh T, 5k

Summary: “Bring Spider-Man to us, Mr. Stark,” High-heels says and rattles off an address. “If that bug isn’t here in the next twenty four hours, then your intern gets it. We are not going to ask a second time.”

There’s a pause.

Then, “You want Spider-Man?”

“In exchange for your intern,” High-heels affirms.

“Spider-Man,” Mr. Stark repeats. He sounds more amused than worried for Peter’s apparent safety.

also known as: Peter Parker is held hostage…in order to get to Spider-Man. Throw in some Accords reconciliation and, well, Peter’s life just got a whole lot weirder.

i see myself (in you) (ao3) - parkrstark pepper/tony T, 28k

Summary: “Hey, c’mon, before long we’ll be back to normal and we’ll look back at this and laugh.”

Peter just looked up at him with a slight glare as he scratched at his chin again. The itch of the facial hair was driving him crazy and Tony found it highly amusing. “You’re in the body of a 15-year-old boy. Why are you smiling?”

“You’re in the body of Tony Stark. Why aren’t you smiling?” Tony asked with a smirk.

Or, the one where Tony and Peter swap bodies.

Keep Boredom at Bay (ao3) - KandiSheek steve/tony E, 76k

Summary: One slip of the thumb means that Tony just texted a picture of his dick to Captain America instead of his casual hookup. Which is just as well because the guy hates him anyways.

It's certainly the weirdest way he's ever managed to break the ice.

Long Way Up (ao3) - calicotales bucky/clint T, 3k

Summary: "Then Clint sees Bucky reach over with his left hand a little and the door starts to close. Oh. Hell. No."

Lemon Meringue Lies (ao3) - Nejinee steve/bucky E, 111k

Summary: Being a server at a high-end restaurant is working out well for Steve. All he has to do now is convince Bucky he's good enough to work as chef in the same restaurant. Steve's determined to prove to his best friend that all Bucky's talent and passion for food is worth something.

He's going to make it happen, even if he has to omit a few solid truths to get it done.

Meanwhile, Bucky has his own issues to deal with. Namely: trying his damndest to dig them out of poverty, make sure Steve's health is on the up and up, and not acknowledging his very longstanding desire for his best friend that is slowly eating him up inside.

A story about food, compassion and stubborn idiots in love.

no one id rather be stuck with (ao3) - achillightning bruce/thor G, 4k

Summary: Whilst on a diplomatic meeting with government officials, Thor and Bruce get stuck in the building elevator.

Peter Parker's Home for the Wayward Villain (ao3) - BeanieBaby peter/wade, steve/bucky, pepper/tony T, 90k

Summary: A really long redemption story.

Prince Charming (ao3) - Brenda steve/bucky E, 55k

Summary: Bucky Barnes leads quite the charmed life. He has a thriving tattoo shop, a son he adores, the world’s best dogs, and a great group of friends — almost all of whom are in relationships. And maybe he'd been the one nudging them towards each other, but there's nothing wrong with a little match-making. The world could use more romance.

As for him personally, well, he doesn’t need anyone for the long haul. Not when every girl he meets is someone who he thinks would be perfect for someone else.

But then Steve Rogers comes into his shop looking for some ink, and maybe that’s the problem right there. Maybe what he's looking for in a relationship isn't a girl at all.

quaranteens (ao3) - blueh T, 6k

Summary: “Peter Parker,” Cindy says. Peter’s head snaps up so fast that it almost looks inhuman. “Did Tony Stark just waltz in and pick up his child in the background of your Zoom call?”

Peter freezes. Wide-eyed, with ‘guilty’ written on his forehead in 72, bold, Times New Roman font. It takes a solid thirty seconds before he can put himself together enough to click the unmute button.

“I—no?” Peter says. His voice is startlingly high pitched and his expression is nothing short of horrified.

Damn, if that isn’t anything but a confession.

Or: a day in the life of the quarantined high school spider-kid, as seen through the eyes of his first-period chemistry class.

research and disaster (ao3) - blueh T, 9k

Summary: the interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

Revealed in Discovery (ao3) - ragcat loki/tony M, 177k

Summary: The God of Mischief has been rehabilitated and keeps showing up at Stark Tower. Tony knows he should keep his distance, but he's never been good at resisting temptation. And, what you don't know may not hurt you, but it sure can lead to some awkward surprises.

Salami (ao3) - L1av steve/bucky E, 25k

Summary: Everyone hears stories about the idiots who have to go to the ER to get random objects removed from their asses. If someone told Bucky he’d be spending his weekend in the hospital for one of the most embarrassing occurrences of his life, he’d probably laugh in their face and tell them to go fuck off. But here he is, in the ER with eleven inches of packaged, cold salami stuck up his ass. To make matters worse, his nurse is really hot. Really hot.

Join Bucky for one of the most awkward and yet comical experiences of his life that leads to self-discovery, trust and maybe even love.

The Less You Know (ao3) - Nokomis G, 3k

Summary: Peter comes to regret telling the Avengers about the Captain America PSAs.

The More You Know (ao3) - Nokomis G, 2k

Summary: Peter’s first post-mission Avengers hang out goes about as well as one would expect.

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #fluff #fluff masterlist #humor #humor masterlist #masterlists

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seinrobinendo · 3 months

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Omerta Chapter 5 Blue Darkness

We are inside a a train. The train is going somewhere.

Inside the compartment is Maki and Endo.

We see Endo looking at Maki as Maki looks outside the window.

Endo(v.o): I first heard about Maki a few years ago.

We see the courtesan house again.

We see water flowing in a river

We see the bright red sunset

Endo(v. O) : the highest rank courtesan of House Maya.

We see Maki dancing and customers watching.

Endo (v. O) : She was like the courteseans of the old. A beauty so talented that she did not have to show her skin.

Endo(v. O) : I later learned that this was what was expected of courtesans, but but somehow she had become the exception and not the rule.

We see Endo watching her dance in the flashback

Endo(v.o): I was starting out then, I heard from somebody that she had started working as a courtesans to pay for her little sisters medical expenses.

Endo(v.o) : when I heard that I suddenly remembered her. I had seen her before, infact for some period I saw her everyday. I went to work by bus during that time.

We see that flashback scene where both of them are in the bus, but this time it is from the perspective of Endo.

Maki is wearing a much simpler clothing

Endo(v. O) : I always saw a beautiful lady going to work everyday. I always thought she was enthusiastic. It was only when I heard that I realized it was her, Maki.

Endo(v. O) : she did not stop after her sister's hospital expenses were over. A customer challenged her idea that she could be successful without selling her body.

We see the bright blue of the water mix with the intense red of the setting sun to form the color purple and that purple transforms Into a radiant Maki in purple dress dancing.

We see the customers staring mesmerized.

Endo(v. O) : well the rest is history, she became the top Courtesan without the need for her body.

We see Endo and Maki walking through beautiful landscape.

They enter a quaint looking home

The house is well furnished like furnished as in fairy tales.

Infact the whole neighborhood looked like it was straight out of a fairytale.

Maki settles down on the sofa

Maki: oh this is good.

Endo: Remember that time you asked me what part of you I loved?

Endo :I was drawn to your sense of responsibility. The world changed when people took responsibility. Whenever I was in doubt I would remember your figure . Your stubborness, your grit. You are so beautiful

Endo closes in and grabs her face in his palms

Endo: During my bad days I was reminded of you and that gave me strength.

A single tear falls from Maki ‘ eyes

Maki kisses him.

Endo(v.o): what is my purpose here, yes I must reduce unnecessary suffering.

We see little Endo running through water at a beach

And a mother like figure watches him laughing.

We see Kai walking through his room

Kai: well Endo is dead. For all his talk about reducing suffering in this world, he is gone.

Micheal : what happens now?

Kai: same thing that has always happened, one person's don't change anything brother. We are back in business.

Kai: and as much as Endo was unique, there will be better versions of him.

Kai : life is afterall is just an endless cycle of disappointment.

We see Endo’s mother walking through the beach.

We see her getting on her knees and patting Endo’s head.

Seinna:listen to me Tatsuki, no matter how sad or how happy your reality is. But you should always have purpose. Without purpose your reality won't change.

Seinna : promise me that you will remember. Always try to reduce the suffering of this world. Always try to prevent cruelty. Heal people, promise you will remember that.

Endo : okay I promise.

We see him as a grown up by his Mom’s bed.

We see a gangster inside a shop extorting money.

Endo enters and slams his face on the table.

We see the shop owner thanking him.

We see Maki giving birth

We see his mother is outside.

Inside the hospital room we see Endo looking wonderstruck at his baby.

Through the window of room we see Sienna watching his son and his wife looking wonderstruck at their baby.

Sienna enters the room and pats Maki on her head.

And takes the baby in her arms.

Then there is darkness

From that darkness Roman emerges.

Roman pushes a button on the remote in his hand.

We see Kai sitting his room In a building.

Suddenly his phone rings, Kai picks up his phone

Roman: goodbye asshole

Kai: what the hell You can't disrespect your boss like that Roman

Kai: what do you want.

Suddenly the building that kai is sitting explodes and and starts crumbling.

Kai: wow an assassination.

Kai: I swear the young people today have no patience.

Roman : I am not aiming for your throne, with this I am starting the end of the Suzuki crime family.

Kai: oh

Roman: any last words?

Kai: curse you and your future generations

Roman: well I am marrying your daughter

We see Anna ‘s face.

Kai (v.o) : shit this is it for me, atleast Anna’s future is safe

Kai: well I take that back, listen, tell Anna that I did what I thought was right, but never let my grandson in the world of crime.

Roman is surprised

Roman: so your against crime?

Kai: if you think crime and violence will end by destroying the crime families, you are wrong.

Kai: Roman some part of my actions is wrong, but i can't put a finger on it. That's why I don't want my children there.

Kai: Try finding it out

Kai(v.o) : I think i understand now

The building collapses.

We see Roman walking hand in hand with Anna.

Roman: do you think what your father did was wrong.

Anna : well he always spoke about that reducing the suffering and other stuff.

Anna: but I don't think he actually belived in those things.

Roman: do you think the way adopted by The crime families are right?

Anna: No they are wrong, the initial idea is good.

Anna: everyone should work tirelessly to reduce the suffering of this world but the method they adapted is not my taste.

We see Kai and his associates engaging in violence.

Anna:I don't know, Roman ***you*** might frame it as Inefficient.

Anna: Yes the crime family idea is Inefficient. That is the right way to put it.

We see Seinna and a little girl playing in the beach.

We see Endo buying some ice cream.

And we see Maki taking photographs of Sienna and their child.

We flashback to Roman's phone call with Kai.

Roman looks a little troubled.

Jack is beside him.

Jack : sir shall we proceed.

Roman: yes

We see armoured police trucks surround many places.

And many people getting arrested by the police.

One of the detainees shout.

Detainee: do you know who we are?

The police officer kicks him.

Police officer : we know now who you truly are

Police officer : we got evidence right from your top brass that you assholes were engaged in human trafficking.

Detainee: but.

Police officer : we got videos , the primary thing that prevented the police from prosecuting you was the misplaced gratitude. Now we know your true colors , the age of crime families is over.

Detainee: but we never engaged in human trafficking.

Jack : that was very persusive evidence Roman, even though it is fake.

Jack : this was the only way of destroying the concept of crime families. To paint them as mindless criminals.

Roman : this was the only peaceful way, this charade is finally over.

Jack : what are you going to do now.

Roman: I am going to marry Anna and move far away

We see Anna and Roman in the present day continuing to walk hand in hand.

We see the old man of Highgate sitting

Old man: you want to fake your death.

Endo: I asked you if I can end Highgate.

Old man: and I told you can try to destroy it all you want, but Highgate is not limited to these buildings Machiners and human bodies.

Old Man: it is an idea a culture that has repeated through out human history. The Highgate is simply the human need to kill, to hunt.

Old Man : those ideas won't die out.

Old Man: but what are you planning to do, run away.

Endo looks at a distance

Endo: well In a sense you can say I am running away.

Old Man : let me remind you son, whatever you do the darkness of the world will still remain even after you and I die.

Endo : no I will make a difference.

#jujutsu kaisen #blue box #ao no hako #呪術廻戦

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favefandomimagines · 3 years

Text

Give Me A Reason to Stay (b.b.)

Summary: the battle is over, you can finally breathe. but will bucky give you a reason to stay with him in Louisiana?

AN: inspired by the finale of tfaws! so potential spoilers and obvs i’m gonna include some angst (stark!reader)

You finally caught a moment to breathe after what felt like years of fighting. After so long of going from one disaster to the next, you could finally stop and pause. Actually enjoy life for once.

Since your father died, you never stopped moving. Being CFO of Stark Industries, helping Wanda escape the authorities after her grief induced episode and then Sam and Bucky called you for help. It never seemed to stop.

But, after Karli died and the rest of the Flag Smashers gone, you could take your well deserved pause. At least for a little while before your inherited work called.

Sam invited you to come to his home town in Louisiana for a celebration of sorts and you couldn’t say no. Him telling you that Bucky was going to be there was also a selling point.

You and Bucky had a complicated history. You helped Sam and Steve stop him and HYDRA and then went on the manhunt for him. Even after finding out he killed your grandparents, you were still there. You understood that it wasn’t Bucky’s mind, just his body. You were there in Wakanda and helped set him free from his trigger words.

But nothing ever progressed from the stolen looks, the longing glances and the quick touches. The amount of times Bucky Barnes saved your life and threatened others who tried to hurt you, you thought he felt something for you. But the nagging feeling in the back of your head told you that you were wrong.

At the celebration, the many neighborhood kids were gathered around you as you created stars in your hands, almost like your own personal galaxy. The kids thought it was magic and you rather liked that perspective on your powers.

Bucky and Sam were talking with Sarah and some other neighbors but Bucky couldn’t focus on the conversation when he was too busy watching you.

Your smile was so wide that he thought it could light up a city block. You looked genuinely happy, a look he hadn’t seen on you in a long time. It was refreshing and your happiness made him happy.

“You’re being creepy.” Sam commented, nudging the super soldier. “What?” Bucky asked. “You’re staring.” Sam said. “I-I was not staring.” He stammered. “You so were. Just tell her how you feel already. I can assure you she feels the same way.” Sam told him. “I can’t just tell her.” Bucky rebutted. “Yes, yes you can. What are you afraid of?” Sam asked.

The 106 year-old man paused for a moment as he continued to stare at you. “I can’t be the one that causes her more pain.” He said. Sam furrowed his eyebrows at Bucky’s answer. “She’s been through too much already. Losing Natasha, watching her father die, the nightmares she has. I’m not back to myself yet and I can’t cause her anymore pain.” Bucky explained.

The conversation was cut short when you approached the two men. “I’m so sorry, Sam. Pepper just called and said the donors are pulling out of the eco-friendly power source project we’re working on. She needs my help fixing it.” You told them.

“Do you really have to go?” Sam asked. “Unfortunately. Pepper says she can do it on her own, she did it before I was old enough but since my name is still attached to the company, I have to go. Board meeting at 9 tomorrow.” You explained. “I’ll go grab Sarah, she’s going to insist on giving you leftovers to take.” Sam said, giving you a nice smile.

You turned to Bucky who was very quiet since you walked over. “So, you’re really going back?” He asked you. “Yeah. Unless you give me a reason to stay.” You answered honestly. And rather boldly.

Bucky wanted to say something so bad. He wanted to tell you that he loved you and wanted you to stay with him there but the words didn’t come out. And if he was already feeling bad before, the look on your face broke his heart.

You gave him a tight lipped smile, a small head nod before you walked away from him. He watched as you slapped a fake smile on, say goodbye to Sarah and Sam before leaving the party rather quickly.

“What the happened with Y/N?” Sarah asked approaching Bucky. “Nothing. She just had to go.” Bucky lied. Sam saw right through it obviously. Something had happened between you and Bucky and he was determined to find out and play cupid.

“What really happened?” Sam asked. “She asked me to give her a reason to stay. And I didn’t say anything.” Bucky answered. “Come on, man. You love her, she loves you. Y/N wouldn’t give you the time of day if she couldn’t handle your baggage. You need each other more than you want to admit, Buck.” Sam said.

Bucky sighed and cursed himself for letting you go. “Okay, what do I do?” He asked. “Go to New York. Pull a rom-com move and crash that board meeting and tell her that you love her.” Sam answered.

And Bucky did just that. He got on the first flight to New York and came up with a whole speech in his head for what he was going to say to you.

He made it at the nick of time and was surprised he still had security clearance to the building. When he arrived to the correct floor, he saw Pepper standing in the hallway.

“Bucky, I didn’t expect to see you here.” She said to him. “Where’s Y/N? I need to talk to her.” Bucky said. “She’s in the conference room, preparing for the meeting.” Pepper answered.

Bucky practically ran to the conference room and almost broke down the door.

“B-Bucky?” You questioned. “I love you, Y/N. You asked me to give you a reason to stay and I was scared. Scared that I’d cause you more pain and you don’t deserve that after what you’ve been through. But I can’t deny that I love you anymore.” Bucky confessed.

You were at a loss for words, not really expecting a love confession from Bucky Barnes. “You love me?” You questioned quietly. “Yes. I love you.” He said. “Come back to Louisiana with me. We can start over, have the life we both deserve. Or, I can come back here and you can still help Pepper run Stark Industries. I don’t care as long as I get a chance at a life with you.” Bucky added.

“You really mean that?” You asked. “I really do mean that.” He answered. He watched you intently as you processed everything Bucky had just told you.

You looked down at your presentation notes before you picked them up and folded the papers in half. “Friday, can you bring Pepper into the conference room please?” You asked the AI. “Of course, Ms. Stark.” It said.

You and Bucky waited in a tension filled silence when the door opened. “What’s going on?” Pepper asked. “I think it’s time I sign those papers.” You told her.

Pepper smiled widely at you, happy that you were choosing yourself over the company for once. “It’s about time.” She commented. “I’ll go get them drawn up.” She added before leaving the room.

“Wait what papers?” Bucky asked. “I’m giving every aspect of the company to Pepper. I’ll no longer be listed as an executive for Stark Industries. Which means, I can go anywhere I want for as long as I want.” You explained.

“You mean-“ Bucky started. “I’m going to Louisiana with you. For however long you’ll have me.” You interjected. Bucky laughed lightly as he made his way over to you, cupped your face in his hands and kissed you deeply.

It was a feeling you both had been waiting for and it was one that was definitely worth the wait. You had been putting off your personal life out of fear it wouldn’t work but now you just wanted to be with each other. No matter what happens down the line.

“And if it wasn’t obvious, I love you too.” You said once you parted. “I’d hope so, doll.” Bucky replied.

—

You and Bucky approached the large gathering of people with food in your hands, saying your hellos and giving out hugs and handshakes.

“There you two are! I was wondering if you’d ever show!” Sam scolded you two. “What do you expect? We’re newlyweds.” You laughed. “And it’s about damn time it happened too.” Sarah commented.

You sat down at the picnic table, Bucky resting his flesh hand on your thigh. You stared down at the ring on your finger quite fondly and thought of your dad. Hoping he’d be proud of letting the company go three years ago and living your life to its fullest.

“Aunt Y/N! Can we see the stars again?” Cass asked with all of his friends behind him. “Can’t say no to a future leading astronomer now can I?” You teased the boy. You got up from the table and stood a few feet away, creating the stars with your hands like you had years prior.

Again, Bucky watched you fondly but this time he wasn’t pining after you, hoping he’d build the courage to tell you how he felt. He was watching you as his wife and as his future.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Sam asked. “Yeah. I really do.” Bucky answered, a smile adorning his face. “You’re going to be amazing parents.” Sarah added. “Parents?” Bucky questioned. “Oh no she hasn’t told you yet.” Sarah said, standing up from the table.

“Is Y/N,” Bucky started. “Am I what?” You asked. Bucky turned to you and rose from his seat so he could stand eye to eye with you. “Are you pregnant?” He asked.

You looked behind him and glared at Sarah before staring back at Bucky. “Yeah, yeah I am. You’re gonna be dad James Bucky Barnes.” You told him with a watery smile.

Just the thought of bringing a child into the world with Bucky made you more emotional than you thought possible.

“I’m gonna be a dad?” Bucky questioned. You nodded your head and Bucky scooped you up in his arms and if felt like everything was falling into place.

After 109 years of not having an ounce of peace or feeling as if he was a monster and a burden, he was getting the life he had always dreamed of. And he got to do it all with you.

#imagine #imagines #marvel imagine #marvel #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #tony stark #sam wilson

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soramei · 3 years

Text

From Resentment (hhj)

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader (she/her)

Summary: After a fated meeting involving a cute and fluffy puppy, you found yourself drawn to Hwang Hyunjin: the school prince. Everybody in high school loved him. It was hard not to. Not only was he rich, smart, and athletic, but he was also incredibly kind-hearted.

However, one day seemingly out of the blue, everything that you thought Hyunjin was came crashing down.

Now a freshman in university, you were excited to live out your dreams. That was, until Hyunjin came hurtling back into your life like an uncontrolled meteor. His presence threw a curveball on all your plans, and would eventually change your perspective on everything that you thought you knew.

Genre: studentl!hyunjin au, angst, enemies to lovers

Warnings: cursing, tw puking

Word Count: 8.8k

Masterlist

A/N: Not an Intentional update but a hyunjin oneshot!! disclaimer: no aspect of hyunjins personality here was drawn from real life — irl hyunjin is a ray of sunshine <3

You looked at your math homework, proud that you got all the answers correct. Since it was a slow afternoon at your job today, you had extra time to focus on your homework. The boss at the convenience store you worked at allowed you to have your homework out, as long as it was hidden behind the cash register.

As you stared at the rest of your homework, you started to feel the weight of tenth grade pile up on you. Because it was your first year of high school, you were still trying to adjust to everything; your grades, your teachers, and all the new students walking around the halls.

You stuffed the rest of your homework in your backpack. It was the end of your shift, and you wanted to go home as soon as possible to start with the rest of your studying. Crap. No matter how hard you tried to zip up your backpack, it wouldn’t close. After trying one more time, the zipper tore from your backpack.

You cursed under your breath. You couldn’t afford to buy a new backpack right now.

You had just been able to afford your new school uniform by taking up extra shifts at the convenience store, and you still needed money for your grandmother’s prescriptions. You sighed, annoyed to have another monetary stressor weighing on your shoulders.

Walking outside with your now torn backpack, your eyes widened at the group of boys in front of you. You immediately recognized them from behind.

The school princes. These three seniors were all known for three things: being extremely smart, handsome, and talented.

On the left was Seungmin, and from what you’ve heard, he was the smart and quiet one. He was always helping the teachers, being the class president and all. Any time a girl or a boy needed academic help, Seungmin was there and happy to assist.

The person on the right was Jisung. With his charming and charismatic personality, he had dated tens upon tens of girls in his grade. Just in the last year. It helped that he was really good looking — and also stinkin’ rich. His father was a notorious restaurateur, and with him being the first son, he was basically given unlimited spending rights.

The only person richer than Jisung was the boy in the center of them both: Hwang Hyunjin. This boy was the school prince. The prince of princes. He somehow managed to participate in music clubs, engage in study groups, and captain the soccer team all the while keeping up excellent grades. Every girl that Jisung had dated was said to have been rejected by Hyunjin first. That was his only flaw: he was notoriously cold to any and all romantic confessions.

You followed behind the three princes, staring at your torn up sneakers. You knew you didn’t exist in their world, but even being near three handsome and rich teenage boys made you nervous.

Suddenly, you heard a whimper coming from behind a bush to the left of you. It sounded like a hurt animal.

Worried and curious, you walked over to the bush to see what it was.

It was a puppy. Small and fluffy, it looked up at you with it’s beady black eyes and cried out. His paw was bleeding.

You panicked. Having never seen a hurt puppy before, you had no idea what to do. You called out for help.

“Help!” you cried, hoping that somebody had heard your call for help. You desperately wanted to help this hurt puppy, but you hesitated to touch it, afraid that you would hurt the animal even more.

The puppy howled in pain, making your panic rise. You were about to call out for help again, when you heard somebody running up behind you.

“What is it?” The voice asked.

“I-I don’t know. I just saw this dog here, and-and his paw is bleeding,” you anxiously stuttered.

“Here, let me take a look.”

You heard the voice behind you, so you shuffled over to make room.

It was Hwang Hyunjin. The person that responded to your cry for help was the most popular and well-liked person in the school. You were shocked, a bit intimidated actually, so you silently moved to the side for him. His black hair shone in the sunlight as he bent down to examine the dog.

“Come here, boy,” he chirped. The puppy listened, and started limping to him. “Something hurt you, didn’t it.”

He stood up, picking the puppy up along with him.

“C’mon,” he gestured with his head, “my vet isn’t too far from here actually. We can make it by walking.”

You silently nodded and followed him.

He was right. The walk to the veterinarian clinic, though very awkward, wasn’t too far. The clinic was empty at this time of day, with the receptionist being the only person in the room.

“Hyunjin! Always a pleasure,” the receptionist beamed. It seemed like Hyunjin’s likeability wasn’t only confined to your school. “My, what do we have here?”

“There’s something wrong with his paw,” Hyunjin tried to show the receptionist where the blood was coming from, “is the doctor free right now?”

“As a matter of fact, he is,” the receptionist said whilst checking the schedule. “I’ll take this little boy to the back where he can get prepped for the veterinarian.”

Hyunjin handed the puppy carefully to the receptionist. The receptionist took out a crate for the dog, put him in, and then disappeared through the back door. The two of you were now left alone in the waiting room.

“Uhm,” you coughed, “thank you. I know you probably want to get back to your friends, so you can leave now.”

“No, I’ll stay,” he looked at you and smiled, “those idiots are just playing LOL at the PC room anyways. Plus, I want to see how this little boy turns out.”

You smiled back at him, nodding your head. A few moments of awkward silence passed.

“I’m Hyunjin by the way,” he said.

“I know. I’m Y/n.”

“You’re in your first year, right?” he said, looking at the colour of your uniform.

“Yeah, it’s so hard to get used to though. I’m trying my best with my homework, but I think this school stuff just doesn’t click with me,” you rambled.

“Oh?”

“I want to go into dance. I’ve never been able to afford professional lessons, but I’ve always wanted to go to university for dance. My grandparents said they would let me if my school grades were high.” You didn’t know why you were giving your life story to Hyunjin. He just had this natural charisma that made you want to spill everything to him. It was the way he looked at you with those cat-like eyes.

“I know what you mean. It took me forever to convince my parents for me to major in dance. I got in by early admittance, but I’m sure they still have their reservations about my major.”

“You’re majoring in dance?” you asked, eyes wide.

He smiled. “I’ve loved dancing ever since I could remember. It’s my passion, and truthfully, the only thing I’ve got going for me.”

You were shocked. At school, Hyunjin was known for so many things other than dancing. Hell, you didn’t even know he enjoyed dancing and you thought you’d heard everything about him already.

The two of you chatted for a while longer before the vet came out with the now happy looking dog.

“It seemed like this little guy got into a fight with something, and he got a pretty large gash on his paw. Luckily, it wasn’t bleeding too much so I just gave him some anaesthetic and stitched it right up.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank god he isn’t too hurt.”

“Yes, it’s good that it wasn’t too bad,” the veterinarian agreed. “I’m assuming this is your dog? As soon as you finish with the bill, I can release this little guy and the both of you are ready to go.”

Oh yeah. The bill.

Although you knew you couldn’t afford to pay the vet bill, you didn’t know where this little dog would go if you couldn’t take him home. You did the mental calculations, and if you worked some extra shifts, you could probably be able to pick up the bill today. Buying a new backpack could be saved for another day.

“Sure, where can I pay?” you asked.

“Just over by the receptionist.” The veterinarian pointed.

You walked over to the receptionist, and she handed the bill over to you.

You almost fainted.

Just the anaesthetic and the stitches alone cost over two hundred dollars. This was extremely over your budget, and probably even more than the amount in your savings. You felt uneasy.

“Uhm, actually, I don’t think I can-”

“Do you take cash?”

Hyunjin had interrupted you, walked up to the receptionist, and pulled out his wallet. He peaked over your shoulder and took out a huge wad of cash to hand to the receptionist.

“Hyunjin, you don’t have to,” you begged. You felt bad that this guy you didn’t even know had just offered to cover you for over two hundred dollars.

“Think of it as a good luck gift from a fellow dancer.” He smiled.

That was when it clicked. You didn’t know what clicked, but it just did. It was his smile. It was the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up and how the corners of his lips pinched at the end. You now understood why all the girls at school were in love with him. He was quite literally perfect.

You thanked him profusely, even after the two of you had left the clinic. With the dog in your hand, you walked side by side with Hyunjin.

“So,” he started, “have you thought of a name for this guy yet?”

Oh yeah — he was your dog now. “Hmm, I don’t know yet.”

“What about Coco?”

“Coco?”

“Yeah, let’s see if he likes it.” Hyunjin leaned in and cooed at the little puppy. “Hi, little Coco!”

The puppy’s eyes lit up, and with his tongue stretched out, he started panting.

“I guess he likes it,” Hyunjin smiled. God, his smile could melt all of Antarctica.

“Coco it is.” You poked at Coco’s nose.

Hyunjin was about to say something back to you when his phone buzzed. He took a peak, rolled his eyes, then smiled. “My friends are god awful at games. I swear, they can’t even win one round without me. You’re okay with going home alone?”

He was going to walk you home? Could he be any more perfect?

You nodded your head. “Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll pay you back for the bill one day.”

“No need,” he winked. “Like I said, it’s a good luck gift. Oh, and you can ask me if you need help with any school work. Anything to help a fellow dancer.”

He waved goodbye, then went running off in the other direction. You held Coco close to you, heart pounding. Although you didn’t want to be like all the other girls who fell for him, you felt like you were already falling for Hyunjin.

The next day, you had planned to go shopping for dog supplies after school. After a really long and arduous debate with yourself, you decided to sacrifice all of your savings in order to buy everything that Coco needed. You knew Hyunjin owned a dog himself, so throughout the whole day, you worked up the nerve to ask Hyunjin to come with you.

At the end of last period, you gathered all your stuff from your desk and headed to the soccer field where you knew Hyunjin and his friends would be. Whilst you crossed the field, you noticed Jisung staring at you. You found his stare intimidating, but you tried to brush it off. He then whispered something in Hyunjin’s ear.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” you said anxiously, biting your lip. “Umm, do you want to come with me to shop for Coco?”

He stared at you for a couple seconds, then, a look of disgust appeared on his face. “Why? So you can use my wallet again?”

You stared back at him, wide eyed. Who was this person? It wasn’t the Hyunjin that so graciously helped you out yesterday.

“W-what? No!” you exclaimed. “I-I just wanted your opinion…”

“Sure,” Hyunjin smirked coldly, “opinion my ass.”

“Hyunjin,” tears were pooling in your eyes, “I don’t understand.”

“If you need money so much, here.” He reached in his pocket and turned up a wad of cash, throwing it at your feet. “Just don’t come to me next time. And buy yourself a new pair of shoes while you’re at it.”

You looked down at the money, trying to hold back your tears. Why was Hyunjin being like this? You didn’t understand. His two jockeys beside him didn’t even bother to stop him. As you tried to stop yourself from crying, you felt your sadness turn into rage.

“I don’t need your stupid money,” you said, kicking the cash back to him. “Maybe you can use your daddy’s money to buy yourself a new personality.”

Hyunjin’s two friends tried to hold back their snickers at your words. Hyunjin heard, turned around, and gave them both death stares.

You didn’t bother to listen to whatever he was going to say next and simply stomped away, rage burning inside you. Everything about him was a lie. His charming and charismatic personality, his generosity, his kindness. They were all lies. He really was nothing but a rich, spoiled boy living with his father’s money.

There was rage behind every step you took. Wiping away your tears, you headed to your locker. You didn’t need him anyways; it was better to realize his true personality earlier rather than later. Hands shaking from anger, you dialed the combination to your locker.

“Hey, sorry about what happened earlier.” A voice came from behind you. “He can be a real jerk sometimes.”

It was Jisung. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to see him either.

“Why didn’t you do anything about it then?” Your voice came out shaky. It was obvious that you had cried.

“Once he starts, there’s no stopping him. It’s usually better to let him finish uninterrupted, or else he will get more mad.”

“Oh,” you said. Your hatred for Hyunjin grew even more.

“I could come with you, though. I don’t know much about dogs, but I can help you carry your bags.”

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon, no way you can carry everything by yourself.”

You hesitated. “Okay, I guess.”

And so, you left for the pet store with Jisung, still confused about everything that had happened. It was strange with him. He was nice and cracked a joke every now and then, but it was just different from being with Hyunjin. At least he was nice, you thought.

Your trip went well. You managed to buy everything you needed for Coco. In a turn of events, Jisung had actually come in handy as he offered to carry the huge bag of dog food you bought. He even offered to buy you a coffee.

“Thanks for all your help, Jisung.” You stood outside the door of your apartment, smiling at him.

“No problem, gives me an excuse to work out my guns.” He pretended to flex his arms.

You choked back a laugh.

“You should get going now. It’s late,” you said.

“Alright,” he started to leave. “Hey, if you see me in the halls, feel free to say hi.”

You nodded and waved to him as he turned and walked away, remembering his words. Every time you saw Jisung in the school hallways, you gave him a small wave in which he happily returned. However, whenever you saw him walking with Hyunjin, you made sure to purposely avoid them. You didn’t want any negativity in your life.

You kept up the waves, and soon, waves turned to small conversations which soon turned to flirting. By the end of the semester, you and Jisung somehow ended up as a couple. Jisung was polite and sweet, unlike a certain person. With every free moment you had, you hung out with Jisung — all the while avoiding Hyunjin.

The two of you stayed a couple for the rest of Jisung’s senior year. Somehow, the two of you had even kept up your relationship throughout your whole high school experience. It was hard at times as he went to university, but with a lot of effort, you had made your relationship work out. You barely had time to talk with him, but you enjoyed the little time that you did have. Jisung had never even once mentioned Hyunjin when you were together, and with time, you had totally forgotten about that jerk. You weren’t even sure if they were still friends.

You worked hard in school and reaped all the benefits. Your rank had consistently been in the top twenties amongst all the other students, and you even had time to practice your dancing. You remembered the day that you received your acceptance letter from university. Hands shaking, you had barely managed to open the letter all the way before you screamed. You had gotten into university with your dream major: dance.

Because of your excellent grades, you were able to pay a lot of your tuition with scholarship money alone. You hesitantly decided to quit your job at the convenience store to focus on university. Although quitting meant that your bank account would take a big hit, you decided that it would be best in the long run. There was a lot in your savings, and you even had a little extra to buy a new outfit for your first day of school.

Jisung had been busy on the first day of university. He had previously promised to show you around campus, but with him being a no-show, you wandered around by yourself to try to find your classes. You had trouble with the campus map at first, but after walking around for a bit, you were able to find all your classes with ease.

Your first few classes were a snore. Because they were all theory, you had to down two cups of coffee in order to stay awake. Somehow, you managed to take coherent notes despite being bored out of your mind. You just wanted to dance.

The good thing was, after sitting through many classes, your time to dance finally came. Your last class of the day was an introduction to dance course, and you couldn’t wait to go. You wanted to know your teacher, your peers, and most importantly, express yourself.

The dance class was in a studio in the university’s fitness center. It was huge, way bigger than the tiny gym in your high school. Upon entering the studio, you were immediately met with the sight of students, exactly like you, already stretching. You chose a spot in the room and started stretching as well, making good use of your time before the instructor comes in.

After some time, most of the students — including you — had finished stretching and were sitting in silence waiting for the instructor. The door swung open, breaking the silence. The instructor had come in.

“Hello new students,” he said, “welcome to Dance 100. Today, I will go through the curriculum with you as well as introduce your final project.”

The instructor whipped out a projection of the curriculum and started explaining the purpose of the course, what you would be graded on, and how you would be graded. He then read through his class expectations before moving to your final project.

“This final project will act in place of a final exam,” he explained. “You will be required to create a dance that includes everything we’ve learned in class and write an essay explaining all the elements in your dance. It will be worth half your grade.”

The class gasped in surprise. Not only did this project sound extremely difficult for a first year course, but the fact that it was worth half your grade made it borderline unfair.

“I know it might seem difficult, but worry not, you won’t be doing this alone. Every year, the first year dance students get mentored by the third year dance students for the final project. Each student has already been assigned a random mentor which will be introduced this class.”

The whole class murmured, talking amongst themselves and expressing their opinions on this project. It was definitely an interesting project. You hoped that you would be paired with a good mentor that would actually care about how well you did.

There was a knock on the door.

“Ah, this must be them.” Your instructor opened the door and a wave of third years came flooding in. Each one of them had a name tag pinned on their shirts. “Class, these are the third year students.”

You all politely greeted them.

“Now,” the instructor continued, “I will put the class list on the projector, and each of your names will correspond to a third year mentor.”

The instructor put out the list for display. You scanned down the list of names, eventually finding yours. Following the dots to your corresponding mentor, you almost choked on air when you saw yours.

It was Hwang Hyunjin.

You were at a loss for words. Just when you thought he was out of your life forever, the man that was so incredibly mean to you — the man you hated with your whole soul — was now your mentor. Just the thought of being in the same room as him filled you with disgust.

You scanned the sea of third year students, and your eyes immediately found him. He was staring back at you with the same shocked expression that you had on.

He looked different. Not only had he grown taller, but he had lost all his baby fat as well. His hair was different too. It was bleached blond and it almost hit his shoulders. What was the same, however, was his intense stare and his plump lips.

You walked over to him.

“You look different.” His eyes scanned up and down.

“So do you.” You clenched your jaw and sighed. “I guess we have to work together.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said flatly.

“Listen,” you copied his tone, “I’m not excited about this either, but I want to get a good grade for this class. If you don’t wanna help me, just say so and I’ll just work alone on this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he rolled his eyes, “this is part of my grade too. I can’t let you fuck this up for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes back at him and pressed your lips in a thin line. Ignoring what he said, you asked, “where do we start?”

“Let’s find a time to meet every week.” He pulled out the newest iPad model from his bag. Of course he would have the newest iPad. “I’m busy every day except Saturday, so let’s meet then.”

Way to consider your opinion. He was lucky that you weren’t busy on the weekends.

As Hyunjin worked on sorting his schedule, you took your time to look at how he had changed. With his hair blonde, he looked like a completely different person. You didn’t understand why he kept his hair long though. It kept falling in his eyes.

“Stop staring at me. It’s freaking me out.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“I wasn’t.” You crossed your arms, defending yourself.

“Whatever.” He tucked his hair behind his ear and put his iPad back in his bag. “Don’t be late on Saturday.”

And with that, he left. You looked around the class. Most of the other students were still with their mentors, presumably getting to know each other and discussing the project. You almost wanted to ask your instructor to switch with somebody else, but that would mean passing on the nightmare known as Hwang Hyunjin onto a perfectly innocent person. You had your moments, but you weren’t evil.

The interaction with Hyunjin had left you in a sour mood for the rest of the day. You tried to study, but you were too distracted by the thought of having to work with that monstrosity for a whole semester. It was worth so much of your grade, too. You had just hoped that Hyunjin was as good at dance as he previously told you. You remembered him saying how dance was his passion in life. That was when you still liked him. Who knows, maybe he only said that so he could play you like every other girl he played with.

For the rest of the week, whenever you thought of the dance project, you were filled with dread. You tried to ignore it, and sometimes it worked, but most of the time it kept reappearing in your mind like a virus. The way Hyunjin had infected your mind bothered you to no end.

Time passed fast though, and before you knew it, Saturday had already come. Searching through your closet, you picked out a simple outfit for practice today. You slid on your tattered old sneakers and headed off to the studio that Hyunjin had told you to go to.

Entering the dance studio, you noticed that you were right on time. However, Hyunjin was not. Great… He made such a big deal over you being on time that he himself forgot to be punctual. You sat on the wood floors and started to do some stretches to warm up.

Eventually, after you finished your stretching, he entered the studio. With a girl. Holding a textbook, Hyunjin handed it to the girl and put on his signature deceitful smile. His ugly, perfect smile. The girl batted her eyes and waved her fingers goodbye before strolling out the door. You rolled your eyes at this, feeling bad for the girl. Hyunjin was playing her right in front of her own eyes and she didn’t even realize it.

“Were you really late because of a girl?” you sneered.

“Why do you care?” he retorted, flinging his bag to the corner of the room.

“I don’t.”

“Sure you don’t.”

Not wanting to waste time with that childish banter, you decided to end the conversation then and there. “Okay, well anyways, I’ll show you what I learned in class this week.”

Hooking up your phone to the speaker, you chose the song that you’ve been practicing with for the whole week. As the song progressed, you found it hard to not get lost in the music. Just dancing was the easy part; incorporating everything learned in class was another story. Although it was fairly difficult, you thought you executed everything very well as the song came to an end. Finishing up, you panted from exhaustion and looked at Hyunjin for his comments.

He stood, with his arms crossed across his torso, leaning against the speaker. There was a blank expression on his face.

“Not bad.” He started to walk up to you.

“But?”

“But you’re too stiff. You’re too focused on perfectly executing the technical moves that you forget to just move your body. Do what you did half-way through the song again.”

You turned the music on, trying to do the dance with Hyunjin’s criticisms in mind. Looking in the mirror, you did your best to show as much emotion as possible, all the while moving more fluidly. The room was filled with heavy bass and the squeaks from your sneakers.

Suddenly, the music was abruptly cut off.

Hyunjin had stopped the music and was making his way over, face still unreadable.

“You’re still trying too hard and it shows.” Hyunjin shook his head.

Clenching your jaw, you did your best to hold back your anger. Were you just not supposed to try? This annoyed you. Just because he didn’t need to try to be good at anything didn’t mean you couldn’t.

“Well,” you tried to say calmly, “how can I do this then?”

“You have to relax.” He put one hand on your hip and started to guide you. “Don’t focus on each individual aspect, but try to imagine everything as a whole. Then, things will come naturally.”

You followed his hand, allowing Hyunjin to guide you to his own rhythm. After a while, every movement felt so fluid and you didn’t even notice that your face started to match your movements. Glancing at your reflection, you gasped, noticing how different your dancing looked. You whipped your head to face Hyunjin, the two of your inches apart and breathing heavily.

“See,” he mumbled, looking down at you. “Once you stop thinking, everything just comes naturally.”

You looked back at the person inches away from you. It almost felt as if he was being kind. But you knew the type of person he was. You weren’t going to let this happen again. Snapping out of what weird trance you were in, you pushed him away in an act of self perseverance.

He didn’t say anything.

“I’ll try again,” you said.

Hyunjin strolled over to the speaker and turned on the music. This time, you didn’t think about anything you learned in class or Hyunjin’s criticisms. You just trusted in your body. Everything else was blank.

Taking a step forward while still in your trance, your shoe lost its grip on the floor, causing you to fall right on your knee. You cried in pain, holding on to your knee.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin hissed. He ran over and bent down to your level. “Can you move it?”

“I think so.” You tried to straighten your knee. It hurt, but you were still able to do it. There would most likely be a nasty bruise there the next morning.

“You’re still wearing those scraps that you call shoes? They’re literally coming apart at the seams. This is going to happen again if you don’t get new ones.”

You blushed in embarrassment from his remarks. “I’m not going to spend money on things that I don’t need.”

“Well, you need shoes. Just go buy a new pair later.”

Was he being serious? Or was he just spoiled?

“Hyunjin, not everybody can just go spend money whenever they want,” you loudly sighed. “Unlike you, I need to consider my budget for most things.”

“Well, why can’t you ask your boyfriend to buy it?” he sneered. “Seems like you’re good at doing that.”

How did he know you were still dating Jisung? What did he mean by ‘good at doing that’?

“What?” You crossed your eyebrows. “Do you think I’m with him just for his money? Do I really look like that kind of person to you?”

“You used me for my money,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What?” You couldn’t hear him right.

“Nevermind, rehearsal's over.” He stomped off, leaving you alone in the practice room holding on to your injured knee.

You busied yourself with everything and anything you could do over the weekend in order to forget what happened during rehearsal. However, no matter how hard you tried to forget, Hyunjin’s comments on your shoes stuck in your mind like glue.

During your shift at your job, you couldn’t help but keep staring at your worn sneakers. You never paid attention to your shoes before until now. They did the job, so why would you need to buy a new pair? Still, you unconsciously paid attention to every step you took.

On Monday’s dance class, you decided to go early. It was always nice to warm up in a room with other try-hards. They felt less judgemental than the others.

The studio barely had anybody in it this early before class. Everybody was either stretching or had already started going over what was taught last week. Shuffling your way over to your locker, you couldn’t help but compare everybody else’s shoes to your own. You’ve never cared about trivial matters such as shoes, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious as your worn-in sneakers squeaked its way over to the lockers.

Opening your locker, your eyes widened, shocked at what you saw. Inside was a box containing a brand new pair of sneakers. It was an expensive brand as well, a brand that you never thought you would be touching in your life. You turned your head around, scanning the room. Everybody seemed to have been busy with their own thing.

Did somebody put these in your locker by mistake?

Taking the shoes out, you noticed a small slip of paper fly out. You picked up the note.

Keep these. I was a jerk.

You knew who had sent this. It was Hyunjin. You didn’t know what game he was trying to play at, but you weren’t going to fall for it like you did that day in high school. Gingerly putting the shoes back in your locker, you decided to return these back to Hyunjin at your next practice.

“No, I gave them to you as a gift.” Hyunjin turned his nose up at you, refusing to take back the shoes.

“Why would you give these to me if you think that I only use people for their money?”

“Because,” he rolled his eyes, “if you’re unable to dance then my grade is screwed as well.”

He made a good point, but you were stubborn. “Still…”

“You know what? Keep it, give it away, sell it, I don’t care. Let’s just start practice.”

After that dance practice, you threw your old shoes in the trash.

It was midterm season a month into school. You thought you had gone to hell and back with high school, but this was even worse. Each day consisted of waking up, studying, and going back to sleep. You lived on coffee and toast. It wasn’t much, but it gave you the energy to sit at the library for hours to study.

You didn’t see anybody during the midterm season, Instead, you chose to hermit yourself up at the library for days on end. This meant that, at least for a couple of weeks, your dance practice with Hyunjin was put on hiatus. Not that he minded, of course. He happily deleted the practices from his schedule.

You also didn’t see much of your boyfriend, Jisung. Ever since school started, he seemed to always be missing in action. He would almost never have time to be with you, and with the few moments that he was, it seemed like he was always so apathetic towards you. You brushed this off as stress though, as you finally knew what it was like to experience university exams.

It was a clear and sunny day on the morning you finished your last midterm. Leaving the exam room, you looked up to the sky, basking in the sun. Today was going to be a good day. Not only were you now stress free, but you were also invited to an end-of-midterm party for your dance class tonight. You had never gone to a university party before, so when a classmate asked if you wanted to go, you eagerly accepted.

Wrapping up your dance class, you stood at your locker, gathering the rest of your stuff.

“Hey.” An arm wrapped around you.

“Hey, Jisung.” You smiled, turning around to face him.

“You’re done all your midterms?”

“Yup.” You nodded happily.

He took a look at your shoes.

“New shoes?”

You hesitated in answering his question, not knowing where Jisung was with Hyunjin in terms of friendship. It was better to be truthful now rather than apologizing later.

“Hyunjin gave it to me.” You looked down, fiddling with your fingers. Why were you afraid of Jisung’s response?

“Wait, what? Hwang Hyunjin? Like from high school? Y/n, I thought you hated him.”

“I did! And I do,” you tried to explain, “but he had a reason to give me this.”

“Bullshit, Y/n. You’re really gonna believe any reason he pulls out of his ass? I thought you actually matured from high school.”

“Well, you would understand if you were around more often!” you yelled. You knew it was wrong to address other problems and blow this out of proportion, but you couldn’t think straight. Your mind was clouded with anger.

“What does this have to do with anything?” Jisung barked back. “What we’re talking about is how you, no matter how shitty of a person Hyunjin is, keep going back to him! Y/n, all that man does is take. He takes from you and he sure as hell takes everything from me. I won’t let that happen this time.”

When had he taken anything from you? All he had done was give.

“Jisung, let’s end this.”

“You’re right. Let’s cool down and talk later tonight.”

“No,” you shook your head, “I mean, let's end us.”

Jisung looked at you in disgust. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

“No,” you vehemently denied, “Jisung, you never have time for me, and the little time we do have together you act like a different person. And now you’re being all possessive just because Hyunjin gave me a gift? I’m sorry, I just don’t see us recovering from this.”

“Fine, whatever.” Jisung turned around. “We’re done. But Y/n, don’t come running back to me when Hyunjin screws you over like he does with everybody.”

After Jisung left, you stomped your foot on the ground, tears pooling in your eyes. It was for the best — breaking up with him. For the past month, you hadn’t been happy with where your relationship was going, but this wasn’t the way you wanted to end an almost three year relationship.

Wiping away your tears, you tried to compose yourself before heading over to the pub. Jisung wasn’t worth the tears.

The walk to the pub wasn’t far as every establishment catered to students was a short walking distance from campus. For your entire walk over, you kept your head down so as to not receive looks from others. The headache from your cries and a blush of anger still lingered with you. Hopefully you’ll look somewhat normal by the time you reach the bar.

Checking your reflection once more in your phone camera, you fixed your hair a bit before going inside.

The bar was filled.

With students from both your dance class and the third year class, there was not an empty corner in sight. The music was loud, but the sounds of chatter coming from the students were louder. The place was dark, with the only source of light coming from very dim, bright blue LEDs.

It was surprising to see everybody in a different setting. You were used to the sight of your classmates being only in sweats and workout clothes, but now that they actually had time to get ready, everybody seemed like a completely different person.

You saw a few of your classmates wave at you, beckoning you over to where they were sitting. As soon as your butt landed on the chair, they spared no time to push a shot glass filled with clear liquor in front of you. You gladly took the drink, wanting to just let go and forget about everything that happened today. Holding back a cough, you scrunched your face as you felt the alcohol burn in your throat. It had been so long since the last time you drank.

After five you stopped counting. Partly because you knew you were going to drink more, but mostly because your head couldn’t even count to five anymore. Scrunching your eyes, you tried to focus on the blurry figure of your classmate complaining about her professor. Bored out of your mind as her mindless babble went on forever, your eyes started roaming around the bar. As your eyes wandered, you noticed somebody behind your classmate staring at you.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Even in your inebriated state of mind, you knew that it was Hyunjin. What other university student had the balls to bleach their whole head blonde? Your eyes met, and he ran a hand through his golden locks. Why do the most beautiful people harbour the most wretched personalities?

You tried to ignore his staring by focusing your attention back on your classmate, but eventually, you couldn’t help but glance back at him. He was still looking at you.

You saw a girl come up to him. She was the same girl that showed up with him on your first ever practice session. Because of the dimly lit bar and your drunken vision impairment, you had to really squint to make out what was going on. The girl, all smiley and giggly, put her hand on his shoulder, making Hyunjin break his eye contact with you. He smiled at the girl, mouthing words that were drowned out by the music. For some reason, this made you furious. Why was he so nice to everybody else but you? What had you ever done to him to make him hate you so much?

You kept your eyes on the girl, knowing full well that you shouldn’t have. You hated that — even on your night off, even when you had just broken up with your boyfriend — Hyunjin was still in your mind like an unkillable parasite. You hated the way he tucked his hair behind his ears. You hated how the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her. You hated him.

You watched as she leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing him to laugh. That was the last straw. In a drunken haze, you took your phone and bolted out the door, ignoring the concerns of all your classmates. Maybe it had been a mistake breaking up with Jisung. Maybe he really did know what was best for you.

Stumbling out onto the street, you tried to dial Jisung’s phone number. It proved to be too difficult of a task, however, as your drunken fingers could only tap on random numbers on the screen. You cried out of frustration.

“Y/n.”

The voice coming from behind you startled you, causing you to lose your grip on the phone. It dropped on the cement with a loud crack. Tears welled up in your eyes as you bent down to pick up your phone. There was a huge crack right down the middle of the screen.

“You cracked my phone,” you said, trying to keep your composure.

“So? It’s not like it’s worth much anyways. Just ask your boyfriend to buy you one.” Hyunjin’s evil eyes squinted down at you.

“Why are you still on about this? Hyunjin, I’ve never used anybody for money and I never will!” You couldn’t control the tears flowing down your face. “Plus, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I broke up with Jisung today.”

You didn’t know why you were spilling your guts to the last man in the world you would trust. Surely, it was the alcohol.

“Y/n.” His tone had completely changed. He almost looked — concerned?

“Whatever, Hyunjin,” you slurred. “Just leave me alone. You can go back to that girl and have your fun with her.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.”

“Y/n, why do you care?” His tone got louder.

“I don’t!” you yelled at him. Your tears made everything even more blurry.

“Y/n! Tell me, why do you care?!” He spat back at you with just as much fury.

“Fuck you, Hyunjin. News flash, not everything in the world revolves around you and your rich and prestigious life. Maybe you wouldn’t be so toxic if you would just understand that.” You screamed at him through your sobs. “Also, I don’t know where you got this stupid story of my being a cash whore from, but I will say this one last time: I have worked for everything in my life and I have never and will never use anybody for their money.”

Hyunjin looked back at you, shocked. You stared back at him in disgust. Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, you stumbled down the street to look for a taxi. However, as you wobbled down the pavement, everything became even blurrier than before. You felt nauseous. You couldn’t control it anymore.

You threw up. All over the sidewalk. You couldn’t stop. Every time you thought that it was over, more and more came out. Your throat burned, and it wasn’t just the alcohol.

As you hurled out all the remains of today’s lunch, your hair was held back.

“Get away from me, Hyunjin,” you groaned. You didn’t want him to see you this weak.

“Who else is gonna take care of your drunk ass, idiot,” he mumbled.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

It was a blinding white light that woke you up. You groaned, trying to block the light with your forearm. Cracking your neck, you tried to holster yourself up.

You were on a leather couch. Squinting, you surveyed the room you were in. It was clean, spacious. The floor was a white marble — there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be seen. Across from you was an incredibly wide TV with many game consoles scattered around it. You looked behind you. There was a large kitchen island illuminated by warm pendant lights. Sitting at the island, on his laptop, was Hyunjin.

“Wh-what happened to me?”

“You’re the worst fucking drinker I’ve ever seen, that’s what happened.”

You rolled your eyes.

Hyunjin ignored you, standing up and leaving for another room. Less than a minute later, he reappeared with a toothbrush and a roll of toothpaste.

“Go clean up. You look disgusting.”

You snatched the toothbrush from his hands. He pointed over to the bathroom and you trudged your way over. His bathroom was huge, almost bigger than your bedroom at home. You felt as if you were in a hotel.

“Your bathroom is huge.” After washing up, you felt not only cleaner, but more awake. “You’re really living the life with your family’s money, huh.”

Hyunjin sighed, slamming his laptop shut causing you to flinch. “Why, after everything, do you think I’m this rich, pretentious fuck?”

You rolled your eyes. Not this again. “Well, why do you still think I’m this money hungry monster?”

“You really wanna know why, Y/n? It’s because Jisung told me so. He was the one who told me that all those years ago.”

You were shocked. Jisung was the one who told him that? Your ex-boyfriend that you had loved and dated for almost three years? You didn’t want to believe it, you really didn’t, but there was this tiny whisper in the back of your mind telling you that it was true. He had a reason to — Jisung was always going on about how Hyunjin always took from him.

“But Y/n, I-” He stopped mid-sentence.

“You what, Hyunjin?”

He pressed his lips to yours, caressing the back of your head. You were shocked, but almost autonomously, your lips parted feeling the heat of his breath against yours. He pressed his body to yours, running his hand down your waist. His lips, the same lips responsible for his perfect smile, felt so soft against your own. You heard the thuds of his heartbeat as he held you closer.

You broke apart, gasping for breath. The realization of what you had done just hit you.

In a panic, you used your whole strength to push his body away from you. “I-I have to go.”

“Y/n, wait!” Hyunjin called.

You paid him no attention. Instead, you ran across the marble floors, hoisted the front door open, and sprinted out. Hoping that Hyunjin wasn’t following you, found your way outside and took a taxi home.

You sat in silence, trying to process what had just happened. You had just kissed Hyunjin. You had just kissed Hyunjin. Hands shaking, you grasped at the ends of your hair, trying to calm yourself down. Did that just happen?

You were more mad at yourself than at him. How could you have just kissed Hyunjin? You hated him. He was nothing but rude to you, never smiling and always accusing you of things that were clearly lies. He made you feel self conscious, nervous, and everything in between. You hated him.

But he was so sweet on that fateful day in high school. He gave you a new pair of shoes when you had slipped during practice, and he held your hair for you when you were drunk. His hair glistened in the sunlight, his smile made your heart race, and his lips ignited sparks of every colour in the rainbow in your chest.

You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated how fast you became infatuated with him on that day in high school, and no matter how much you tried to deny it, you hated that your feelings haven’t changed ever since. You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated that you loved him.

Curling up in your bed, there was no stopping the tears flowing down your face. You cried and cried upon this realization, and you remained this way for the rest of the day. The effect Hyunjin had on you was bigger than you ever expected, and you hated it.

At school, you tried to avoid as many people as possible. The kiss you had shared with Hyunjin was plaguing your mind, distracting you and igniting the fire that was your inner turmoil. Even the thought of Hyunjin put a strain in your heart. It was the way his breath fanned over your nose, gently tickling it like a bird’s feather and the soft silk of his blonde locks brushing up against your cheeks.

You shook your head, trying to erase any and every thought of that man. Walking to your locker, you were stopped in your tracks, the dam in your eyes starting to crack. You couldn’t do this today. You turned around to go somewhere else — anywhere else.

“Y/n, wait.”

You sniffed, wiped stray tears from your eyes, and picked up your pace.

“Y/n.” He grabbed your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

“Hyunjin, please, I can’t do this today.”

“Are you… Are you crying?” He touched your face, wiping your tears with his thumb. “Y/n, why are you crying?”

You shook your head. You were scared of what would happen if you opened your stupid mouth.

“Y/n, please.” Hyunjin begged. His voice was shaking. “Tell me why.”

You shook your head again.

“Y/n, please.” His voice cracked.

“Hyunjin,” you paused, taking a shaky breath, “it’s because I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the first moment you smiled at my pathetic ass. Even when you hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before… I never had a choice, Hyunjin. It’s always been you.”

You tore yourself away from Hyunjin, embarrassed to your core. That was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done, but at least you had closure now.

“Y/n…”

“No, Hyunjin. You’ve torn me down and humiliated me enough already. What more could you possibly want?” You demanded, aware that everybody around you was staring.

“Y/n,” Hyunjin rasped, “It’s only ever been you. I’ve spent the last three years miserable knowing that you were with someone else. I’ve-I’ve never even been with another girl in the past three years. I know you have no reason to believe me because I was such an ass. I am such an ass. Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for projecting my insecurities on you, I’m sorry for accusing you of things I know you’ve never done, and I’m sorry for anything else I might have fucking done. Y/n, I love you. Please, I don’t fucking deserve it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”

You stared at Hyunjin’s bloodshot eyes, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and before you could even think, you found yourself pressed against his lips. Your eyes closed, savouring the feeling of his soft lips touching your own. His wet cheek pressed against your own, and with a nudge of the nose, Hyunjin deepend the kiss with a raw passion in which you’ve never felt before.

You cradled his head, relishing in his silken blonde hair as you brushed your fingers through his locks. He sighed in response, his breath tickling against your cheek. You were fully aware that everyone on campus had seen both your messy confessions of love, but you didn’t care. All you could do was replay the moment that Hyunjin had said those words — those three tiny words — over and over in your head as you ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his soft, honey lips.

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blessedarethebinarybreakers · 3 years

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Hi, I feel like this might be a weird request, but I could use some advice. My entire family was catholic, but they all converted before I was born and I was raised as an evangelical christian. A lot of the stuff involved with that I found to be sorta traumatizing and it's turned me away from church, though I'm still privately religious, and I've been trying to find ways to make my beliefs "my own" to feel closer to God and stuff. This has lead me to exploring christian-based witchcraft, because the little rituals are comforting and make me feel like I'm actually doing something. But the more I've explored this, the more it's started leading me back to Catholicism--I'm italian, so I know catholicism is rooted in my ancestry, and in italy some practice folkmagic using catholic rituals/beliefs, which I found really fascinating!

My problem is this, though: Catholicism makes me feel more religious guilt than witchcraft does. I think the reason for this is because with witchcraft, I'm still fundamentally using the same beliefs I was raised with, only praying and focusing my energy on God. And I was told my whole life that catholicism was "evil" because the extra rules and praying to saints or Mary is bad, you're supposed to only focus your energy on talking to God Himself.

As I'm trying to make my religious practice my own, I've been feeling very drawn to catholicism partly because of my ancestry and partly because I find the ideas/rituals comforting. But I'm struggling to fully look into it or try anything involving it because my whole immediately family turned away from it and drilled it into me that it was bad. Every time I think about talking to Saints or Mary or even just Angels, I feel guilty for it. So... I guess I'm just wondering if you ever felt something similar? I feel like I remember you converted to catholicism as well, some years ago. If you have any advice, or even just encouraging words to share, I would really appreciate it! Sorry this ask turned out to be so long, lol

Hey there! I was actually born and raised Catholic, didn't convert to it -- my path was sort of the opposite of yours, where I had to make the hard decision to move beyond Catholicism. I eventually discerned that I could keep my roots there, however, and now identify as both Catholic and Protestant.

It's the stuff about Mary and Saints and the like that I have kept from my Catholic roots, while leaving behind the more institutional stuff like the hierarchy of bishops and popes etc. And I always get excited to hear people express being drawn to the Saints, because their wisdom and communion is powerful and deep!

My hope is that the rest of this post shows you that you can engage in Catholic practices while continuing to, as you wrote is your aim, pray solely to God and focus your energy solely on God.

There are a lot of misunderstandings about Catholicism, and it sounds like your family members hold that kind of misinformation even if they were once Catholic themselves.

Just like in most if not all forms of Christianity, the focus of Catholicism is upon the Triune God -- it's just that many of the methods for focusing on God are different, and from an outside perspective might look like we're focusing more on something or someone else. Let's take Saints for example...

Saints Basics

It's a common misconception that Catholics worship Saints, but this isn't true. Rather, we recognize the holy lives that Saints led that enabled them to be vessels of the kind of power and love that comes only from God.

And, since we believe that people live on in God's Kin(g)dom after their earthly death, we can reach out and cultivate relationships with the Saints (or just about anyone else who has died) — this is the concept of “the communion of Saints” that Catholics and many Protestants (and other groups) share. Those currently alive and those dead are all part of the Body of Christ; we share a community.

If praying directly to Saints feels wrong to you right now, try instead to invite them into praying to God with you. It's just like how you might ask a loved one who is still alive for prayer or guidance.

Example: In the Hail Mary prayer, we don't pray directly to Mary even though we address her -- we ask her to "pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death." We are asking Mary to use her unique relationship with Jesus to pray on our behalf. .

Many Catholics do pray more directly to Saints (a common little prayer even kids learn is “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please look around, ___ is lost and can’t be found”), but if this discomforts you, you don’t have to do it! But know that many Catholics who do still understand that any “power” any particular Saint holds doesn’t come from them, but from God -- it just flows from God through them. .

Furthermore, just like when we pray to God the prayer is more about cultivating relationship with God than getting things out of God (God’s not a vending machine or a wishing well!), it’s the same with praying to/alongside Saints — the focus should be less on “getting them to do stuff for you” and more on “This Saint was a human just like me, a fellow member in the communion of saints and the Body of Christ; and they have unique wisdom and experiences that I can learn from so that I can grow deeper into God’s love and will just like they did.”

I think that educating yourself on what Catholicism is really about, rather than what your family has told you it's about, would help you feel safer about trying out more Catholic stuff. Here are some resources for that:

Article about how Catholics don't worship Saints

"Owning Our Faith" - a video where people talk about being LGBTQA+/queer and Catholic

My Saints tag explores some cool Catholic Saints -- i also have a specific #lgbtqa patron saints tag and a #black saints tag

Also a #Mary tag, and a #queer and Catholic tag!

Some resources for LGBTQA+/queer Catholics

_________

Syncretizing Witchcraft & reaching your Italian Roots

I've found that Catholic faith and witchy stuff go really well together, since both involve making use of physical items or embodied rituals to connect us to the spiritual.

Moreover, Catholics across the world in different cultures have syncretized other religious practices with Catholicism (to the Vatican's dismay but my delight -- how wondrous it is that there is so much variety in how human beings connect to and worship Divinity!). (You can search on the term Folk Catholicism for many examples.)

For me, it's my Irish Catholic ancestry that I connect to when I communicate with Saints — one of my patrons is St. Brigid, who has also been a patron to my mom, grandma, great grandma.... It's really cool that you might be able to access your Italian ancestry in a similar way.

I bet you've already been exploring this, but just in case you haven't looked into benedicaria, it's a new-ish term for the syncretism of folk magic and Catholic faith that's been around in Italy for centuries! Here are some cool resources on benedicaria I dug up:

The wiki page on benedicaria offers a good starting point

"Benedicaria: The Blessing Way of Southern Italian Folk Medicine"

This cool essay from someone whose grandmother was an Italian immigrant to the US who was a devout Catholic who practiced benedicaria

Edited to add: oh yeah, i also found this tumblr blog that seems cool! @grotto-of-benedicaria

Check out Stregheria too, which has reached into Italian American communities.

According to Wiki, one distinction between the two is that, "Unlike practitioners of Stregheria and some practitioners of Stregoneria, practitioners of Benedicaria consider themselves to be devout Catholics, and the practices of Benedicaria are inextricably linked with Italian popular devotions found in Traditional Catholicism."

______

Take it slow!

As you discern whether there are elements of Catholicism that will nourish your own connection to the Divine, take things slow!

It takes time to unlearn ideas that were drilled into us. It takes time to recover from trauma.

So whatever steps you take to explore Catholic faith, take moments to be mindful about your own reactions to what you find. If you experience any panic or upset in your mind or your body, pause. Maybe have a short prayer prepared for such moments, either one you pray often that comforts you or something like, "God, I seek you, only you. Open my mind to anything that can open me to you; protect me from anything that is not of you."

Reading about a handful of Saints who intrigue you before you attempt to connect to them in prayer, or reading about Catholic traditions before diving into them yourself, might also help. You can learn about all of it and only when you're ready start incorporating it into your spiritual practice, bit by bit.

If I may recommend a few Saints whom I find really cool and you might connect to...

Thomas Merton: okay so, he's not actually a canonized Saint, but he was a really cool monk who is deeply loved by many persons of various denominations and religions for his simple wisdom, interfaith experiences, and honesty about doubts being a natural part of faith. If you can find a book or website with collections of some his writings, you might really like them! A lot of people love his "Prayer of Unknowing" for instance -- it might be a prayer you'd like to pray as you explore faith! It beings, "My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me..." and you can read the rest here. .

Another wonderful Catholic who isn’t a Saint, I find Sister Macrina Wiederkehr’s writings to be a wonderful introduction to the most beautiful parts of Catholic faith. I have. lots of passages from her short devotional A Tree Full of Angels in this tag! If you are interested in getting that book, there are parts about the idea of “divinization,” becoming one with the Divine, that you might like as someone who seeks to focus your energy on God. .

St. Joan of Arc is another well-loved Saint. Joan is one of my own personal patrons, in whom I see much that resonates with my own nonbinary, queer self. Joan's also got an interesting connection to the original religions beliefs of France -- peasants seemed to connect Joan to "the ancient honoring of gender variant persons and cross-dressing priest(esse)s [that] lingered in some pockets of European countryside" (read more in the "Called to Cross-Dress" section of this webpage). . Another great place to read about Joan from a trans perspective that dives deeper into her connection to peasant religious traditions is in Leslie Feinberg's book Transgender Warriors, which you can read online free here -- the stuff about Joan of Arc is in chapter 4. .

You might like some trans-resonant Saints i write about in my Trans Christian Timeline! One of my own favorites on there is St. Francis of Assisi (in the “Mother Francis, a Female Trinity, and Brother Jacoba” section). .

This list of Saints who have special places in Italian folk magic

Letting Go of Guilt

There are times that guilt can be healthy: when we have actually done something that harms ourself or others, guilt can nudge us to make amends. But because we are surrounded by individuals and groups that try to convince us that we should be guilty of things that aren’t actually bad (from being gay to getting the medical support we need), it’s important to learn how to let go of the misplaced guilt.

For me, recognizing any given things fruits is helpful in discerning whether I should feel guilty about something (and instead of wallowing in that guilt or letting it fester into shame and self-loathing), or whether I should let go of that guilt as misplaced.

Jesus tells us that we can know whether a thing is good or bad by its fruit -- if the fruit it bears is good, so is it; if the fruit it bears is bad, it’s not.

...Of course, this can get tricky: for example, for some people, realizing they’re gay comes with a lot of bad fruit like self-loathing and fear -- but the “tree” bearing that fruit isn’t actually being gay; homophobia is that tree. Meanwhile, being happily and healthily gay bears good fruit like loving relationships and self healing.

Same would go with you exploring Catholicism. If some of your immediate reactions to trying certain things include guilt or fear, the “tree” bearing that bad fruit isn’t necessarily the Catholic practices, right? Rather, the “tree” is more likely the stuff you say you’ve internalized about Catholicism being dangerous, etc. But with patience and practice, the “tree” of your spiritual exploration can bear the good fruit of getting to know more about yourself and your own relationship to the Divine; as well as growing more connected to the communion of saints to which we all belong.

Even if after exploring Catholicism, you find that it doesn’t actually bring the spiritual nourishment you were hoping it might, that’s still okay! God does not dissuade us from exploring — She calls us to “seek and find;” to notice the Spirit blowing wherever Xe will; to get to know our fellow human beings and what ways they connect to Divinity, even if those ways don’t work for us.

Invite God into your exploration, wherever it takes you. Whether you find some of what you are seeking in Catholic practices or not, it’s okay. God is with you and will guide you where you need to go in time -- and you will learn vital things on the journey; no need to rush to the destination.

#saints tag #catholic tag #christian witches #exploring and discerning #< gonna make that a new tag for any post about. well. exploring different religions / practices etc.#faith tag #long post #essays #witchcraft #guilt

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gaiuswrites · 3 years

Text

King of Cups || Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Page of Swords

Archive: ao3 | masterlist | three

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!Reader

Summary: You attempt a new skill. Mando attempts to teach you.

Word count: 4.7k~

Rating: Mature

Warnings/tags: gun usage/mentioning throughout, mature language, pining, more dirty thots-ish, angst because why not, does this count as fluff? sure, gun kink if you squint w/o your glasses

Notes: As the reader (you/us) begins to become more familiar with Mando, his perspective starts bleeding in to the narrative, without a blocked off POV. Also, the reader’s past will start weaving (incoherently?) into the story as well. The large italicized chunks denote past tense interactions (which is probably obvious but who knows any more). Cheers x (gif credit: @djarinsgf)

A shot rings out.

Birds explode from the canopy with offended squawks, squalling in a winged flurry to scatter every which way until they recede again into the green, disappearing back into their hiding places. You groan. You thought you’d be better at this.

It’s not that you thought you were some sort of savant, you just didn’t expect to be this bad. Honestly, it’s embarrassing—you’re embarrassingly terrible— like statistically, you should have hit something by now, but you just keep missing—a crowded tree line in front of you, and not a scratch in sight—nary a singed branch nor a bullet holed trunk. It’s almost impressive how poor of a shot you are—and you would be, if you weren’t so damn exasperated with the whole affair. With a frustrated grunt, you throw your hands up, brandishing the weapon haphazardly.

“Careful,” Mando warns slyly, “you could hurt someone with that thing.”

“Yeah, well at least I’d hit something,” you grumble.

The kid had been fussy - almost unbearably so - in the weeks that followed your short stint on Bajic, and your party was itching for some time off the Razor Crest. After his third tantrum in a day, Mando decided to land on some unknown planet you couldn’t even spell to stretch your legs and take a breather.

You had almost sobbed when you saw him drag his menagerie of weaponry over. You knew what this meant, you knew what came next—his weekly, routine buff.

You think he’s doing it on purpose.

Ever since the first time, when you damn near had a conniption ogling him, you swear it’s like he’s doing it just to mess with you. He isn’t—of course he isn’t, rationally you knew that, in fact there was plenty of evidence to the contrary. He’s a Mandalorian—weapons are apart of his religion for kriff’s sake—but Maker does it seem intentional. Premeditated. It’s like you can feel the blistering ray of his gaze on you as he takes his time, roving a leathered hand over the bulge of the shaft—greasing it, stripping it, part by metal part…

It’s all in your head, you told yourself. It’s all in your fucking head and you need to get a grip.

Immediately you sprang into action, busying yourself with anything you could get your stupid, little hands on—in this case, being one of his many blasters.

“I wanna give it a go,” you said.

He let you, surprisingly. He hesitated, at first, his helmet tipping at a disbelieving angle. But he gave in—it took less effort on your part than you’d figured—and Mando conceded. He obliged.

How hard could it be? You thought.

Famous last words.

He’s parked there, settled on a throne of crates pushed flush to the Crest, slouched against the outer hull of the ship as he cleans, from the looks of it, every item in his arsenal—a front row seat to your pathetic endeavor and you’re failing—epically, ridiculously—shot after errant shot.

You line yourself up, scrunching your face in concentration as you bare the blaster in your hands. Maybe this time…

You fire off a round and an animal scampers scared in the thicket. Nothing. Another sublime miss.

You hear a noise come from Mando’s direction, something subtle like a blip of static through his helmet - Maker, he’s laughing at you - and you pivot around to him.

“What,” you ask, although it's less of a question and more of a griping pout. He replies with silence, that fickle language he's mastered to perfection all on his own, his focus pitched down to the bristled rod he’s driving in and out of his rifle, scouring out the residue from the inner barrel. “Ugh, what Mando?” you say, just shy of a whine, one hand slotted on your hip, the other dangling by your side, the pistol foreign and cumbersome in your grasp.

“Didn’t say anything,” he replies with a half shrug, his pauldrons shifting so imperceptibly you almost miss it. You pause, hurling him a look that misses him completely before you heave a frustrated sound.

“Fine, you show me how it’s done then.”

The T of his visor finds you. Its cold and unknowable as he rolls his helmet, tilting it up to you, hands slowing their ministrations to a rest. He’s wears a glare, carved into the steel hollow of the plates—unamused and smoldering—and with it, you feel small; microscopic and withering under his pointed gaze— suddenly too exposed in the open patch of jungled wilderness they’ve landed in and your mouth tweaks, teeth grazing the plush there. You assume he won’t do it. There’s no way he’ll rise to such obvious of a challenge, but he’s sighing—you can see it in the slant of his armor—and marching towards you before you can take it back, drawing closer and closer until Mando’s slated in front of you, expectant and postured and you forget— like the skip of a record, you forget why he’s even there— not a foot before you— and your eyes dance across his helm, flickering back and forth.

“May I?” he nods down to the pistol in your hand and you start - oh, shit - and offer it to him clumsily.

Mando squares off against the untamed green. The air lays hot and sticky around them. There is no trace of wind, no glimmer of breeze, and his cape hangs mute down his back. You’d never seen him fire his weapon. He surrounded himself with them, sure, always had at least two strapped to him at all times— probably even slept with one, you reckon— but you’ve never seen him use one.

With one solid movement, he cranes his arm, taking aim.

Now, you aren’t one to condone violence, but he just looks right doing it; an extension of himself with how natural it is, how innate— an added appendage, born unto him. The pistol looks good in his fist, like it couldn’t possibly belong anywhere else, the orange tips of his glove curling around the hilt, looping over that sensitive release.

He has practiced hands. Methodical. Sturdy. It’s sensual, to watch him like this. Pornographic even— sacrilege in a way. A part of you wants to look away and turn your gaze, grant him privacy as he handles the blaster— delicately, confidently. It’s intimate.

The pistol croons in his palm. She bends, supple and lilting. He knows just where to touch, where to stroke— she does anything he tells her. She melts for him.

Warmth pools in your mouth. Mando pulls the trigger.

He lands an impressive shot onto an impossibly narrow tree trunk nestled further in, and your features contort with amazement. Maybe you want to see it again—like a nosy neighbor peeping in through drawn curtains. Maybe you’re being reckless and smarmy, and maybe you know it. A Mandalorian’s got a gun in his hand and you’re prodding him - brilliant strategy, top marks - but your adrenaline is pumping something fierce and you feel yourself grow bold with each seize of your heart.

“Lucky shot,” you huff.

He pans to you, lolling his head, visor locked onto your face. Without flinching, without gracing you with a remark, he raises his arm and fires— doesn’t even have to kriffing look. The scorch mark sizzles - haughtily, jeering - no more than a few inches away from the first. You nearly choke on the arrogance of it— the lazy, smug performance— like he can’t be bothered with any of it, as if your taunts are all so beneath him.

You have to bite down on your lip to stop it from snaking into a wicked grin.

Mando offers the pistol back to you, flipping it grip-side up in a fancy flourish before striding - strutting - back to his post. You shake your head, a determined set to your jaw and you retake your aim, squinting in the hazy afternoon light, pulling the trigger— and nothing happens.

Again, click. Nothing, click after fruitless click. You make a face, pinching—

“Safety’s on.”

You flush, thanking the Maker that your back is towards him, and switch it down with your thumb. “Right,” you mumble sheepishly, wetting your lip. You align your sights, bracing yourself for the impact—

“It’s your stance.”

Three words.

Three words, the only solace Mando provides before devoutly returning to his work.

You wait for him to elaborate, to edify you— for any manner of sage advice— but the explanation never comes; he leaves you like this, marooned with three fucking words and you have to screw your eyes shut. This man is baffling— maddeningly unhelpful— infuriatingly sparse. It makes you want to howl and rip your hair out— and you whip around violently.

“What about my st-”

Your question comes scampering to a halt, tail between your legs, throat gone dry. Mando has planted himself directly behind you— standing so close you can see your reflection in his beskar, see the blush blurring your cheek under the alien sun.

“What uh, what about my stance?” you ask, mousier now, swallowed up by the sheer size of him so near to you.

“It’s not wide enough.”

You glance down at your feet before looking back up to him. “What do you mean?”

“Turn around,” he says.

You quirk your brow at him before he repeats himself. “Turn around and spread your legs. Hips distance apart.”

Fuck, he has no business sounding like that— like bourbon and smoke and iron tang—but you do as he says. You’re shakier than you want to be— you wish you could be cool and collected but you’re not. You’re anything but, and you’re nervous. Maker, Mando makes you nervous— it’s not just the weapon in your hand, it’s him— setting you off and giving you butterflies like you’re some sort of forlorn schoolgirl. You’re a grown woman, and this is what he’s rendered you to— jittery, molten mush. It’s embarrassing. Fucking mortifying.

You guess it’s the day for it.

He doesn’t touch you, but it hardly matters; you can sense him there all the same, a shadow in your peripheral. He leaves a thick breath of space between your bodies and with your back towards him, you can feel the waves of heat radiate off the bounty hunter, pulsing out out out from him and it’s almost intolerable— as if you’ve flown too close to the sun, waxed wings melting in pearled streaks down your spine.

You scuttle your feet open, parting just outside your hips.

“Arms up,” he says, and you hoist them into position. You’re sure you look as awkward as you feel, if not more, all the angles of your body feeling perfectly wrong and misplaced. “Relax your elbows,” he adds, and you do— you try to, at least.

“Too much. Somewhere in between.”

You try again, strengthening through your triceps and down your forearms.

“Better,” Mando gives. You think you feel him nodding approvingly behind you. “The important-”

Kriff, you panic.

You spin towards him, dropping your form and cutting him off with a humbled, worried look, throwing up barricades and hurdles— landmines for him to dodge. Or step on.

“Wait hey Mando, you don’t- I don’t want to take up your time,” you begin.

“You aren’t.”

“I’m serious, I don’t want to bother you with this.”

“You’re not.”

You blink.

“If you’re going to do this, you’re going to do it right.”

He speaks so plainly, unvarnished and matte— unflinchingly earnest in a way that gives you pause. It leaves no wiggle room for interpretation and you sigh, defeated, shoulders slumping as you haul yourself back around.

“Arms up,” he reiterates, but there’s no malice there; he sounds kind— untroubled. It always surprises you how mild he can be— Mando should be anything but, he’d have every reason to, but he’s calm. Patient. You wonder if he even realizes it, if he even recognizes the tenor of his own voice— how gentle it can be— under the helmet. Despite it.

“Think of your posture as firm, without tensing,” Mando explains. “Soften your knees, don’t lock them— same goes for your arms— don’t stiffen against the recoil, let your body absorb it.”

You mirror what he coaches, shooting him a curious, hopeful look over your shoulder.

“There. Good,” he says. “Now, which is your dominant eye?”

Your arms fall down to your sides. “My what?”

“Dominant eye.”

You give him a baffled look like he’s speaking another language - in all fairness, he is - and Mando emits another puff of air through his modulator, chortling.

“Eye dominance. We’re all either right handed or left handed. Eyes work the same— right eyed or left eyed. We favor one or the other— you’ll focus that one to aim.”

Oh, huh.

You still appreciatively, basking in the novelty of the information. “Really? I didn’t know that. That’s- that’s actually pretty interesting,” you muse. “Brains and brawn, huh?” You flash a cheeky grin back at him.

Mando grunts, nondescript and unaffected and robotic but he swears he can feel pink creep over his clavicle, tainting the tan of his skin concealed there.

He fits his gloved hand over yours, if only for a second, and you do your best to ignore the rough patch of his leather grazing against the thin flesh there. You try to ignore the chill that sweeps across the curve of your waist, how the peach fuzz prickles up, electrified and magnetized, as he unfurls your fingers from the gun, letting it slip from your grasp. He tucks it under his arm, keeping it pinned there with his bicep.

“Hold your hands out like this.” Mando shows you, creating an oval with his fingers— like a view finder or a scope. You mimic him, feeling like every bit of an idiot, but you don’t contradict him— you do as he does. “Now, set your focus out on a fixed point through your hands,” he instructs and you do, setting your sights on a gnarled tree branch.

“Got it?” he asks.

“Got it,” you respond.

“Now alternate closing each eye. The image should stay in the frame with one, and then shift out of it with the other.”

You frown, concentrating, and close the right before blinking over to the left— kriff, he’s right.

“Oh shit,” you mumble. “My left. It’s my left eye.”

“You sure?”

You check again, squinting through either eye, the tree bouncing in and out of the frame of your fingers. “Mhm. Yeah, my left eye keeps it centered.”

He makes a thoughtful sound. “Left eyed but right handed. Interesting,” Mando murmurs.

You glance up to him, dropping your hands. “Why is that interesting?”

“Not common. The brain’s typically wired the same way all the way down— one side of the body will be dominant. It’s not usually split.”

“You telling me my brain doesn’t work properly, Mando?” you quip dryly.

“You said it, not me.”

He holds the blaster out to you and you swipe it from him with a huffed snort, returning towards the tree line and stars your face hurts. Your face hurts and it’s burning with this asinine smile that’s digging mercilessly into your cheeks. It makes you want to massage your jaw, get the damn thing to relax. Honestly, it makes you want to give yourself a slap.

“Make sure to cross your center with it. Line it up towards the left.”

“Maker, do you think about all this every time you shoot?” you ask, mystified, as you fix your aim.

“Muscle memory takes over eventually. You’ll get there with enough practice.” Mando replies gruffly and you guffaw, loud and wonderfully ugly. You seriously doubt it.

After a series of very near misses— you are getting closer, you’ll give yourself that— your arms grow tired; the joints and muscles protest as you extend them out from your body, taut and tense— the gun dead weight in your wobbly hands.

Your shoulder smarts where you injured the tendon in the explosion. You roll it out, earning snaps and pops as it notches over the bone there. They told you you were lucky. They congratulated you - it’s not a complete tear! - and it’s on the mend well enough, but it’s weak. It doesn’t matter the weight of the object.

The longer you hold anything, the heavier it feels.

You suppose you could throw in the towel at any point, but the fact of the matter— as terrible and true as it may be— is you want to impress him. That awful, nagging feeling— you want to impress the Mandalorian. You want him proud of you— you want to be nice and shiny for him to admire, like one of the guns he polishes until it’s sparkling, until he can mount it on display and show it off. It’s absolutely nauseating— but you couldn’t stop it even if you wanted to, and you don’t. You don’t want to.

He isn’t blind to it. He sees the exertion, the tax— how beads of sweat congress around your temples, dampening the base of your scalp, butterfly kissing your skin with a sheen. A trail of wet salt, one lone pilgrim, ventures down the back of your neck, wandering lower and lower, past the hem of your shirt, disappearing into the soft valley of your spine where Mando can’t follow. His throat bobs rough against his cowl.

Transferring the pistol into one hand, you shake out the other, flexing through it and relaxing your grip.

“Wait,” he says and you cock your head back at him. Mando’s retreating to his pile of guns, rifling through the metal anthill before selecting something sleek and chrome. “Here,” you exchange pistols, giving him back the bulkier of the two. Immediately you feel the relief of this new one— it’s lighter and smaller, slighter in your grasp, too— and you turn it over in your hands, noting the way the nozzlelike barrel glitters in the sun.

You’d almost consider it pretty if it weren’t a literal killing machine.

“That’s a CDEF model. Lightweight, reliable, Dedlanite casing, standard issue for CorSec officers.”

You nod along, as if you have any clue what he’s talking about— you don’t. You really, truly don’t.

“Should be easier.”

“Mm,” you hum out in ignorant agreement, slotting your arms back up into position.

“Don’t put your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to fire.” You rest it against the slide of the barrel, hovering nearby.

Mando shifts closer towards you, the grass grinding under his feet as he takes a half step in to your backside.

“Breathe. Don’t hold it in. Let me hear it.”

Fuck, this feels like a sin; this small gap of distance he’s erected between you as tense, as strained and feverish, as whispered confessions in the dark. Like sneaking back into your parent’s house late at night— the morning moon peering down at you with a heavy lidded gaze— knowing, knowing, keeping your secrets to herself, pressing them to her chest, winking sleepily.

It would be so much easier, so much simpler, if he just put his hands on you. Placed your body where he knows it should be, force you into the shapes and positions he’s so intimate with himself, but he doesn’t. He draws it out. He respects your space and autonomy and it makes it worse. Your imagination fills the void separating you two, and it’s running wild and rampant and depraved and—

“Focus,” he utters, his voice no louder than a purr. You’ve never heard something so mechanical make a sound so deliriously smooth, and you have to suppress a nervous scoff. Focus, he says, as if he isn’t suffocating you with how close he’s standing— as if you aren’t enjoying it— as if you aren’t vibrating down to your very bones at the proximity of the bounty hunter—so close, you bet he can hear them, rattling and slapping against each other deep beneath your skin.

“Remember what I said about your posture,” he suggests quiet-like and murmured, without a trace of condescension there—a harmless reminder. You make the adjustment, fixing your shoulders down your back, and release the stress in your arms.

“Firm without tensing,” you respond under your breath—more for your sake than his— striking it from your mental checklist.

“‘Atta girl.”

No.

No no no, Maker, you feel it. You can fucking feel it—how something low and resonant spasms beyond your belly, the clench of your empty cunt at the encouragement—the heady praise of it all.

Atta girl.

He said it softly - rudely husky - just above a whisper, something tailored specifically for you—almost like it slipped from his lips and he didn’t even notice its passing. It meandered out of him, so easy—too easy. It practically sauntered.

You’re trembling— stars, you hope Mando doesn’t see it. It’s humid and muggy and yet you’re shaking as if it’s freezing, as if you’ve got icicled snot dripping from your nose, and your nerves go haywire, fraying in every direction as you sip in a whistled breath.

You can do this. You can do this. Focus.

“Take the shot,” he orders.

Focus.

Pressing into the slope of the trigger, you fire.

You gasp excitedly— a surprised, whooping laugh tearing through you and you whip around, giddy and beaming - bright, beautiful - a lock of hair sticking to your lip. It’s the youngest, the freest, Mando’s ever seen you; maybe the happiest, too, and his stomach twists at the sight, a tourniquet cinching around him, winding and coiling until he’s convinced it’ll burst. His fingers twitch, every instinct begging him— demanding him— to reach out and return the stray strand behind your ear alongside the others but you beat him to it. Deftly, you flit it away yourself instead, and he’s relieved.

Devastated, too. Gutted.

“Did you see that?” you ask, gleeful as a child.

He pries himself off you, dragging his gaze over your shoulder to where you struck the trunk, a coaled mark charred there into the bark, before returning his attention back to you. You meet his eyes, despite the blackness of his helm— you hold them, for a breathless, ageless moment, you hold him there.

“Not bad.”

He can’t muffle the jolt of his heart as it rumbles through his chest, breaking his mouth wide open into an aching smirk. He doesn’t know if you hear it. He fears you might.

He prays you do.

///

“Cooling vents,”

Metal scrapes against the table as you place the delicate bits down, deconstructing the blaster. The Mandalorian nods, silent as a specter.

“Gas refill valve,”

Another clunk.

“Actuating blaster…” You turn over a particularly knobby bulb before peeking up at Mando through your lashes, a wry grin tugging rosy and coy at your lips. “… thing-”

“Module,” Din corrects.

“Module, right, that’s what I said.”

He sits across the galley from you, arms folded over his chest as he eases back against the hull of the ship, overseeing as you take apart the blaster, the slender little thing he gave to you - he rarely uses it anyways - as you name the pieces and parts just like he’s taught you.

“Keep it,” he told you.

You resisted. You fought it, laughed it off incredulously— stubborn to the end— argued you wouldn’t even have a need for it.

“What am I gonna do with a gun, Mando?” you balked, and Maker he’d hoped you’d never have to use it, would never have to see a firefight in your damn life let alone be in the middle of one, but he wants you to have it— have a part of him, strapped to your hip— the closest he’ll get.

He’s selfish. Din is a greedy, selfish man. He wants to see himself on you, wants you to carry him around like a souvenir from something unforgettable— something irreplaceable— a memory like warm bathwater you dip into long after it passes, and he’ll take whatever he can get— just like you, hungry for anything you’re gracious enough to feed him. And fuck, if he doesn’t hate it— doesn’t want to bury that feeling, cold and lifeless, six feet under the earth. No ceremony. No elegies. Dead and gone, returning to the dust from whence it came, crawling back into the ribcage it sprung from.

Din said your name. Firm— gentle, too.

“Keep it.”

They’ve been at this ever since you managed to hit the target that first time. Hours have passed, dawdling by on the fat little legs of a toddler, plodding and slow. The sun had set, and winged bugs the length of your palm had taken up residency in the dark rainforest, making themselves known with a haunting tune, screeching and singing into the lush wood. After the child had tried making a pass at one, no doubt in the mood for a quick snack - isn’t he always - you had agreed to retire back inside the Crest.

You were so excited, your whole face lit up— like fireworks he remembered once, through the eyes of a boy in the summered night— and you wanted more; like a sponge, sopping up all you could, sucking Din in and ringing him out for it and fuck, he couldn’t say no.

He can’t say no to you.

You start prattling out questions about everything and nothing - what blaster do you prefer, do you have a favorite rifle, what’s the difference between plasma and gas charges, you have a flamethrower on your wrist? - and before long you get him lecturing, going on about weapon safety and trigger discipline and slide bites and ammunition rounds and gun brands and serial numbers and Din knows this isn’t you. You’re a borderline pacifist for kriff’s sake— he’s almost certain that if push came to shove, you’d rather lay down your life than take one. You’re no gunslinger, and you don’t hold any aspirations to become one.

But here you are, fist tucked under your chin and leaning in to him, hanging off his every word.

You have no personal interest in weapons. Frankly you’d be pleased if you never held a gun again in your life. No, and whether Mando realizes it or not, you want to know because it’s him. You want to know him. And maybe it’s because its the most he’s given to you since you stepped foot aboard the Razor Crest— almost a month, and what you’ve gotten from him today alone has been more than he’s given in weeks— not a door so much as it is a window into his life, an allowance, a glimpse behind the beskar. Its more attention, more words and insights, more tiny gestures and maybe you’ve been a little starved for it— maybe you’ll eat up any scraps Mando tosses with a calloused glove, molded and rotting, from his plate.

Even if it’s this, even if its fucking firearms.

You want to know.

It’s who you are: it doesn’t matter what someone’s passionate about, you’re interested in their interests. You care what they care about. If they matter, then it matters. It’s who you are, webbed and weaved into the innermost fabric of your being, and you can’t pretend to be anything else; you don’t know how to unbecome.

You’re splayed before him— a bleating heart, kaleidoscoping and blooming and twisting in his hands. If only you could pry open your chest— turn yourself inside out at the seams, spill yourself to splatter, sanguined and slippery right there on the deck. You’d do it, if you could.

Am I loving enough Am I giving enough Have I paid my debts Am I worth this now, finally— Worth that which I offer, have I earned it back

So effortless, this vignette, seated here in his galley, dismembering a blaster and labeling the parts, terminology klutzy on your tongue— tripping over yourself just to get it out— looking to him for hints and clues, fluttering your doe eyes with cartoonish bats.

He answers. You laugh. He smiles.

The kid is in his pram, entranced by all the shiny baubles and bobbins just out of his reach - thank the Maker - and giggles at their little game— happy, for once, just to watch.

You and me both kid, Din thinks. You and me both.

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kittydemon9000 · 3 years

Text

SO MERLOPIAN KAI PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

So, with Kalmaar, he ofc immediately goes to his parents about his feeling, slightly placing his revenge on hold. They are...dubious about it, but Maya raises the point of how there has never been a human/merlopian hybrid before, and from what Ray has told them about having two EM parents it’s possible for Kai to have some water abilities himself, which could be what gave Kalmaar his feeling. So, they agree to look into it.

Moving on..... Uh. Kai doesn’t have a fun time in S6, as briefly as he’s there. You see, Nahdakahn knows exactly what buttons to press and is able to get Kai into a panicked state where he, on the verge of a panic attack and mental breakdown, just says “I wish that I could just be normal! I wish I could just go home! I wish I could be with dad and mom and father and Kal and Bentho and Nya!!!”

The “normal” comment comes from how they weren’t able to completely hide Kai’s heritage since yeah, there were other people on the boat who saw him. That and he also tried a lot less to keep it hidden. And because some humans are assholes, he has to deal with that.

So ofc, Nahdakahn interprets it in the worst ways and as two wishes. Kai is now a full human yes….but was also sent to where the fish fam currently were……which just so happened to be at the bottom of the ocean.

So yeah, double trauma for both groups. Kai got to experience what drowning felt like, and his fam was essentially forced to watch him die since there was nothing they could do. They were too far under to take him to the surface and too far from the palace to take him there.

But dw, it gets even worse.

You see, the whole reason Nahdakahn is being this malicious about Kai’s wishes is because he learned that Kai was the reason the Preeminent was destroyed, thereby destroying Djinjago.

Nahdakahn is then able to do a “oh? Is this not what you wanted? I thought you wished to be normal.” Which ofc sounds really bad since it’s in front of his family. “But, I understand. You grow tired of the stares in the street, how they whisper behind you back about what you are. Not human, not merlopian, not normal. Just a freak masquerading as one of them.”

This ofc supremely pisses off the fam. Like, weapons drawn ready to commit murder.

But then Nahdakahn stop them with a “ah ah ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. After all, I am the only way your son has a chance at living. So go ahead. Make a wish.”

Trimaar ends up being the one to do it, and is smart enough to know this uh will twist it in anyway he can so says. “I wish for Kai to be sent safely to the surface without harm done upon him.”

Blah blah blah, your wish is yours to keep, Trimaar realizing “wait there’s a lot that could be interpreted” but too late BAM now Kai’s kinda stuck on the Misfortune’s Keep.

And he....generally has a pretty bad time. Think Jay but this time it’s personal.

However, Kai’s appearance had Trimaar get the Merlopian army and start heading to the surface. The remaining ninja have a brief moment of “are you kidding me two enemies at once” before learning that this is Kai’s lost family and they’re here to help.

So now the ninja have a whole ass fish army to help them, plus a very protective, very angry fish family.

But for the rest of canon, the only difference is that when they’re leaving Tiger Widow Island, Nya gets snatched along with Jay(who was taken because he hadn’t used his wish yet) and they aren’t stuck on the island, and then later that Kai gets sucked into the sword when the ninja launch their rescue mission.

But yeah, it gets all Un-Happened by Jay’s wish(which at seeing Kai physically hurt and being emotionally torn apart at his baby sister dying, wished that none of this ever happened and that Nahdakahn was never found), only like canon Nya and Jay still remember what happens.

Nya is now firmly on team Kai Is Alive and tells her parents everything about what happened and the wish Jay made, and more importantly where Kai is.

Unfortunately, they need to take some time and prepare. Trimaar and Maya have been doing their best over the years to open the populace possibly making bonds with the humans, but now it’s finally happening. They can’t just go up there out of no where, since from what Nya has told them 1) most humans don’t even know they exist and 2) in the past few years they have been subject of many attacks, mostly from non-humans, so they need to make sure the humans understand they don’t mean any harm.

So DotD happens, then the beginnings of S7 :)

Right out, Kai never liked the museum curator. Up to that point he’d only ever caught fleeting glimpse of him but something about him Kai just despised. As a result, he also visited the museum as scarcely as possible, and thus didn’t notice a very interesting painting containing a two very strange figures.

When he learns his name was Dr.Saunders.....things don’t go well.

It happened when Kai brought the helmet with his dad’s symbol on it. As much as he disliked the curator, he was the most likely to be able to recognize what kind of helmet it was.

Then in his anger he gets himself captured.

He’s taken to a special cell lined with vengestone and has guards around the clock, and Krux takes extra care to make sure Kai doesn’t know where Ray is.

ofc it’s around this time that the Merlopians arrive and express their wishes for a possible alliance between their two races. Unfortunately they showed up at literally the worst time, and double unfortunately the people in charge of diplomacy decide to bring some of the ninja in as an extra precaution because of the villains have been running around.

So the people who join the meeting are Lloyd and Jay from the ninja(they would’ve brought Kai but he hasn’t returned from his missions yet and isn’t answering their calls) as well as some police officers and from the Merlopians is the whole royal family plus a few guards.

Both Jay and Nya have a silent moment of staring at each other since “I know and I’m not sure you know but I think you know but I don’t want to say anything since you might not”

And just as they’re about to start, The Time Twins attack. Because why the hell not.

They’re actually able to hold them off for a while, but unfortunately there are too many Vermillion. Then Kalmaar whips out his Water Powers which causes him to get kidnapped since they need both Fire and Water masters for the blade.

While they’re recovering, Lloyd then gets a panicked call from Zane saying that he checked the museum footage and Kai has been captured. The gets overheard by the royal family, and then Lloyd asks why they looked so upset at which they learn(sans Jay since wish) that Kai is royalty. The eldest son actually, and thus first in line for the throne, as well as being presumed dead for the past five years.

So basically Krux has kidnapped the King and Queen’s husband, the crown prince, and the second in line prince(if anyone knows a more fancy term for this please let me know)

Maya, Trimaar, Nya and Benthomaar are not happy. Not with the Ninjagian people, no they’re fine, but they’re bout ready to murder Krux, and they don’t even know about Ray yet.

So they offer any help they can.

Zap back to how Kai and Kalmaar are doing.

Kalmaar is….kind feral tbh. Like, he’s biting, clawing, trying to strangle them with his tentacles, and before they got vengestone cuffs on him was trying very hard to drown anyone.

Ofc, this does little to the Vermillion and soon Kalmaar finds himself in the cell right next to Kai’s. He’s overjoyed to see his brother again, albeit upset that this is why.

They both reluctantly come to the conclusion that there isn’t much they can do at the moment, and there are many Vermillion guards right outside their cells, so they decide to start catching up.

And for pretty much the rest of the season canon is pretty much the same, just shuffle around the characters a bit and add a protective Fish Fam.

Though their little trip back in time is quite sight for the Past EMs, especially because of how Kalmaar is using his powers, which leaves Kai mostly stuck in his Fish Form. This time they don’t even bother trying to explain, just give instructions on how to defeat the Vermillion and jumping into the battle.

And I mean just imagine that from the EMs perspective. An enemy you thought you defeated just returned with a giant metal creature and an army of snake things that don’t look like any kind of Serpentine they’d ever seen. Then a shark person and squid person??? show up and not only do they know how to fight the snake things but they also seem to be Elemental Masters???? Despite the fact Ray is very much alive and they didn’t even know there was a Water EM. Then the two not only summon dragons but they also fuse their dragons into an even bigger one with two heads.

And then all of them disappear into the sky without a trace.

W i l d

But yeah, after that it calms down quite a bit. Kai spends the time skip before S8 reconnecting with his family and his dad, and through some tech courtesy of Borg they're able to bring Ray with them :D

And Kai actually goes to meet the Jade Royal Family since y’know. He’s the crown prince. He’s kinda important and legitimately forgot about it. Luckily Kalmaar is able to help coach Kai through it, but is also a bit smug about how he finally has something to teach to his older brother. Kai was actually the one who suggested asking the ninja for help protecting the mask.....but we know how that inevitably ends.

Bentho, Kal and Nya were actually on the ship for this particular adventure, and then Nya and Bentho were dragged along when they got sent to the First Realm. Bentho, despite being the youngest sibling and to the surprise of literally everyone, was actually really good with kids and spent the most time with Little Wu, right behind Cole.

But yeah S9......Nya and Bentho have a really bad time in the First Realm beause of the heat, but at least they don’t get captured. Kai on the other hand....

Yeah at some point he gets accidentally splashed with water and well.....it definitely doesn’t help with the Oni accusations. The Dragon Hunters decide to burn him along with the Wind Dragon, which moves up their Build Our Own Dragon time table.

After they escape Faith is actually pretty chill about the whole fish thing, but she does ask a lot of questions.

And then S10..... kinda the same. They end up dropping off as many people as they can with the Merlopians since the smoke can’t reach them.

I might make a Part 3 for the rest of the seasons, but yeah. this is where we’re at.

#merlopian royalty au #info dump #ninjago #kai #kai smith #kalmaar #prince kalmaar #trimaar #king trimaar #krux

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chuckbass-love · 3 years

Note

56 and 100 with andy or steve plss

Hellooo lovely. First of all thank you for the request and i’m sorry for the long wait. I was taking a break from requests to work on the multiple series that i’ve got going on but i’m back now and i hope this is worth the wait. Secondly, i chose Andy for this and i really hope you love it.

Prompt #100: “Call me selfish, but i don’t ever want anyone else to touch you”

Prompt #56: “Come sit on my face, let me show you how much i missed you”

Disclaimer: My work is not to be translated or to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Andy Barber x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Jealousy, fluff, smut, oral sex ( f receiving), language and ass grabbing. 18+ guys

Word Count: 2,861

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @lovingpostit go check them out💜

I’ll Show You

It’s been one hell of a day at work today and all you want now is just to cuddle up on the couch next to Andy, a glass of wine in hand and some random movie that he’s been dying to watch all week on the TV. To tell the truth you don’t even care what movie it is, all that matters is that he’s next to you, holding your body close to his with his cologne filling up your senses and intoxicating you. Oh and lots of kisses are also a must.

You could honestly spend forever in his company and it’s been that way since you first met, you’ve always been drawn to each other like magnets, to put it in the most cliche way possible. But it suits the two of you because you’re both introverted and home bodies. So any time you get where you can just sit together and enjoy each others company, you take it no questions asked.

This week has surprisingly dragged, probably due to all of the clients you’ve had. Your calendar has quite literally been chock a block full not to mention the severity of the things your clients unload onto you. It’s been tough. But you got into this business because you can’t help but help people and you knew the second you started on your journey to becoming a therapist that it was never going to be easy. Nothing good ever comes easy. But you don’t mind that, you’ve never shied away from a challenge before and your brains are just another thing added onto a long list that Andy keeps of why he fell in love with you.

That along with your heart of gold.

On the drive home you decide to turn the radio volume up a little more than usual, you need something to keep you going until you can run into the arms of your love and as Led Zeppelin comes onto the radio, you know you picked the right day to crank the volume up. What a band.

----------------------

Andy is just making his way out of his own office and down to the parking lot to drive home himself. He’s usually home before you but tonight he had to clear up a couple things before he got to leave and much like your career, his is also never stress free, but he loves it too much to give it up.

As you park your car you notice Andy’s isn’t here yet which isn’t unusual, you know he’s most likely had to stay behind a little later so you decide that you’ll be the one to start cooking dinner ready for when he arrives. You step out of your car and head to the back seat to retrieve your bag along with your jacket from this morning before strutting up to your front door. But before you can even put the key in the lock, your neighbour Ian jogs over, calling your name to catch your attention.

“Ian, hi” you beam, greeting him with a friendly smile, one which he returns gladly.

“Y/N, me and Julie were just talking and since i’m taking the boys out golfing tomorrow, she’ll have a spare coupon for the spa, if you’re interested in joining her”

You have been rather tense lately and since it’s Saturday tomorrow, you’re not gonna pass up such a wonderful opportunity to relieve the tension building and the knots forming all over your back.

“Sure, that would be great. What time?”

“11” he responds simply and you nod your head rather enthusiastically.

He places his hand on yours as he smiles from ear to ear “brilliant, she’ll be over at half ten then just to be safe. Have a nice evening” and with that he walks away just as Andy is walking towards you with a not so cheery look on his face. Must have been a tough day at work for him too.

“Hi handsome, what’s with the pouty face?” you tease as you let the two of you into your shared house but he doesn’t seem to be laughing at your not so funny joke.

“Andy?” you press him for some kind of response even if it’s a nod or mumbling, you’d rather something than to be blanked by him but to no avail.

He just shrugs his coat off, hooking it onto the coat rack before slipping his shoes off and placing them in the shoe holder. And since he doesn’t seem to be responding any time soon, you do the same before padding into the kitchen to have a look at what you have in the refrigerator and the cupboards to cook for dinner. You eventually settle on a simple dish, mac n cheese. It doesn’t take too long to cook and that’s exactly what you need seeing as you’re starving.

You take one of the many pots and pour some water in it before setting it on the stove on a medium heat to boil whilst you change into something a little comfier.

As soon as you enter your shared bedroom you see Andy making his way into the closet too and when you walk in he turns his head to see you staring right back at him, confusion all over your face.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, hoping that this time he might actually tell you rather than acting like you didn’t open your mouth “what did Ian want?” is all he says and it’s all he needs to say for you to know just why he’s acting off with you.

Ian and Julie have lived opposite you ever since you moved in and you automatically got along, all four of you. They’d get a babysitter for their children and you’d double date every now and then but those fun times were interrupted when Andy insisted that Ian had a thing for you. Although you tried to convince him that it wasn’t true and he was just paranoid, you couldn’t help but notice the evidence too. The way Ian would look at you and hold his stare a little too long, the way he’d flirt without you realising it at the time and obviously today, the way he had his hand on yours. Andy must have taken one look at that and assumed the worst.

“He asked if i’d go to the spa tomorrow with Julie, i said yes, why?” you have to be sure though, although you’re assuming now, you want him to be able to tell you what’s got him so bitter.

“I don’t trust him” he mutters as he finishes changing into some sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

“He’s harmless Andy”

“I saw the way he was with you just now, touching you and giving you that shit eating grin, he knew what he was doing”

“Andy, whatever he thinks of me, i don’t care. I’m with you for a reason, can you just trust me”

“It’s not that i don’t trust you” he snaps

“Except it seems that way”

You hold off on changing for now, deciding that storming off childishly is the better option. Once you’re back downstairs you then place the pasta into the now boiling water, making sure to turn the heat up one more too.

“Why can’t you just see things from my perspective here?” he wonders out loud as he leans on the kitchen counter, catching your attention. The way his hands are in his pockets and his shoulders are hunched over, it makes you feel bad for even getting mad at him. Sure jealousy isn’t great but when he gets so worried about other men stealing you away you can’t help but realise just how much he loves you. He loves you so much that the thought of you leaving breaks him let alone if you were to actually go.

But he doesn’t have to worry about that and you’ve told him plenty of times.

“It’s not that i don’t see things from your perspective, it’s the fact that there’s no telling you. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be without you yet you’re too caught up with Ian having a little crush to notice that”

“Yeah well call me selfish Y/N, but i don’t ever want anyone else to touch you let alone flirt”

Instead of fighting back against him you step closer and wrap your arms around him as you stand on your tip toes and just as your lips touch his, his hands grip your face gently.

His grip tightens the more you kiss him and when you slip your tongue in, he loses all control. His hands dance all over your body, leaving no spot untouched. Goosebumps form all over as the kiss heats up, the pasta long forgotten on the stove as you’re too busy being ravished by your man.

“Someone’s very possessive” you mock, smirking a little into the kiss before he kisses you so hard it knocks the air from your lungs and when you pull away you’re gasping.

Your breathing hitches as he rests his forehead to yours, his handsome face inches away from yours and all you want to do is just claim his lips, just like you did seconds before. You can’t get enough of him.

However, he beats you to it, gripping your chin aggressively as he bites down on your bottom lip with need. You pull him closer by wrapping your arms around his neck loosely to which he happily obliges.

“Is that a problem?” he asks, raising his brows at you as you struggle to regain control of your breathing, you simply shake your head no in response, half expecting it to end here. But he has other plans.

“Good” he starts, slowly walking into the lounge leaving you stood there confused. So you decide to follow, only to find him laying down on the couch with his eyes trained on you.

“Now, why don’t you come sit on my face, let me show you how much i missed you today”

Your heart skips a beat as you watch him smile afterwards, you can’t quite believe that he’s all yours.

Without another second left to pass, you head over to him and begin to straddle his waist. He quickly takes control, moving you further up until you’re hovering above his chest.

Large calloused hands grip the hem of your skirt, slowly pushing it up to expose your laced black panties. Andy can’t help but choke on air as he sets his eyes on your panty clad mound. But rather than waste time, he starts to devour you over the lace before eventually slipping them to the side and feasting on you like a man starved.

The sensation causes you to throw your head back and practically scream due to how good it feels. His tongue on you like this will never get old, it’ll always be one of the best things in life, one that you’ll continue to enjoy for many years to come. The way his skilful tongue glides over your puffy folds with such precision before he eventually latches on to your bundle of nerves, it’s almost too much to bare and you can feel the coil tightening already with every suck and lick.

And when he slurps on you as he drinks the juices that pour from your fountain you’re unable to stop your hips from moving on their own accord and before you know it, you’re grinding yourself on him desperately as he lays there taking it like the greedy man he’s always going to be for you.

For him, you’re it. You’re the one and you always have been since he first met you.

After Laurie he didn’t expect to ever want another woman again until you came along. You rocked his world, turned it upside down and since then, he’s been hooked. He’s obsessed with the taste of you, the smell of you, the sight of you and the sound of you. You ignite a fire within him, alert all of his senses and turn his whole body into gooseflesh. Just the way he loves.

He flickers his eyelashes before looking up at you as his hands make their way to your perfectly shaped ass so that he can dig his claws into the soft skin of your round globes, causing you to keen for more.

The sounds your making should have alerted the neighbours by now but even if they do, Andy doesn’t care. He just loves the music you make as you arch your back, still riding his tongue as he pushes it further into your tight and wet hole.

“Please, Andy” you cry out, reaching down to run your fingers through his fluffy hair, you’re desperate now, even more so.

“Hm?” he mumbles, the noise vibrating onto your pussy “i’m gonna cum” you breathe out heavily, trying to gain control over the situation but failing miserably.

Andy rests his hands on your hips, stilling the movements before diving back in for more. He swirls his tongue around your folds once again before ultimately settling his plump lips around your pulsating clit and sucking like his life depends on it.

You can’t hold back anymore, the sinful moans are enough to make him cum too without you even so much as touching him.

And with one final suck and two of his fingers massaging your folds, you cum with a frantic sob. Your body launches forward and he pulls you down so that you’re laying on top of him.

He strokes your back delicately, soothing your shaking body. He can feel your legs jolting every couple of seconds.

Eventually you get off of him and attempt to stand up but of course, you fail miserably.

“So, how was that?” he rasps, chuckling simultaneously

“Perfect, oh and i missed you too today” you smile and he eventually stands up as you slouch down.

“Good, now just let me finish the job then we can order takeout” he says, causing you to furrow your brows but the unasked questions have their answer once he gets on his knees on the floor between your legs and dives right back in.

You shiver a little, your pussy is still trying to recover but he just can’t get enough. His tongue laps at the cum still spilling out of you, making sure that every last drop is inside of his mouth before swallowing it all.

“Now i’m done” he quips and you sit up a little, pulling him closer to you so you can get a taste of yourself on his tongue. Once he slips it into your mouth you can’t help but get carried away, until the door knocks, disturbing you from your peaceful and romantic moment.

You stand up to go and answer it, quickly sorting out your appearance in the hallway mirror before you open it. It’s Ian.

“Ian, hi... again” you giggle nervously as you turn to see Andy’s face change from content to angry in seconds. He practically jumps up off the couch to join you at the door, his beard still damp with your arousal.

You watch as Andy stares the poor man down before wiping at his face.

“I was just stopping by to let you know that Julie wants to leave at 10 instead, you know because of traffic and all” you can practically smell anxiety on him and Andy notices it too.

“Sure, that works for me” you say before the situation turns awkward.

You glance over at Andy who is just stood there watching him intently but he’s coming off rather intimidating.

“Anyway, we’re about to order takeout Ian so we have to go” Andy adds in before snaking his arm around you waist and pulling you closer to him, you follow Ians eyes as he looks down at your skirt and you can only hope Andy didn’t spot that but judging by the change in his breathing, he did.

Shortly after Andy bids Ian goodbye and as he’s walking off, you’re still in the doorway.

You turn to your jealous boyfriend and tut, resting your hands on your hips but he soon disbands your serious facial expression as he smacks your bum which causes you to squeal.

“Andy”

“Let’s get you to bed so i can really show you how much i missed you” he kicks the door shut as he picks you up to carry you to your shared bedroom and you just know you have a long night ahead of you.

-----------

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i-am-trying-my-best-okay · 3 years

Text

Roughly How I Would Write Twilight As A TV Show

SEASON 1 (AKA Book 1, Twilight)

It would start out with the typical Renee sending off Bella at the airport, but I think she should give her the camera now instead of later in the series, sort of like a send off present and it gives Bella an actual hobby. From the first scene it shows that Renee likes her daughter, but she doesn’t really cares and loves her, and that’s more on Bella’s side than hers, as Bella will hug her before going into the airport and Renee will let go before Bella and Bella will just keep hanging on to her, showing that she doesn’t really want to be separated from her mom. Also, throughout the first season she will be constantly checking her flip phone (I still want this to have the same time setting) to see if her mom messages her, but she never does, which will sink Bella into a deeper and deeper depression each time she checks.

When she and Charlie meet it’s really awkward, but both sides are trying and both sides feel bad about making things awkward. Also throughout the first season whenever they start getting closer Bella will sort of put distance between them and then hate herself for it. Perhaps she pushes him away because she is unused to this type of parental love and it makes her nervous. When she gets to school she meets Jessica whose very nosy but because she’s a self proclaimed reporter and likes to know everything about everyone; and she does. Except for the Cullen's, and that’s why she’s so obsessed with them, because she doesn’t know enough about them or she senses their is more. When Edward first sees Bella, whose eating with Jessica and only Jessica because she has a bad rep around the town so she has no real friends, he can’t read her mind and that really freaks him out. We’ve now shifted perspective towards the Cullen’s, and Edward is having a crisis because he’s grown so used to knowing every person’s thought it sort have turned him into a bit of a control freak and now he’s not sure how to handle this, and his siblings are trying to calm him down. Also later, probably that night, he’s freaking out and he wants to go see her and maybe test if he can read her thoughts when she’s asleep, which his family’s all like ‘bruh stop’ but he doesn’t bruh stop and tests it out, only to find out he can’t and he doesn’t try again.

When Bella and Edward meet Bella doesn’t really care much about him and his weird behavior, but then he stopped a car with his hand and then she cared a whole lot more. Maybe after the hospital she tests it out, seeing if she was actually crazy or not. Like she steals one of her dad’s handcuffs and before class handcuffs Edward’s seat to the leg of the table then during class suddenly goes really close and Edward scoots away really fast, breaking the handcuffs, or just something similar to that where she tests if what she saw was actually real. She gets into a few more conversations with Edward stretched out, at some point maybe Bella will throw the golden onion at Edward in anger, who knows. Throughout this entire season we will be constantly switching perspectives from Edward and Bella, which will give us some more time with the Cullen siblings and their dynamic.

Anyway, Bella will ditch the dance to go to the city and then the beach Charlie requests for her to take a at least three friends, and so she recruit's Jessica, Mike and Jacob, and this is where we first meet Jacob Black, but not the first time we meet Mike. With Mike, I kinda completely changed him, and he’s now a kid with serious anger issues and a tendency for small amounts of arson and fights, which makes him an outsider like Jessica, but they never hung out as fellow rejects or anything. Charlie was probably a bit late picking up Bella from the airport because he was busy driving Mike home from yet another case of arson. He never really gets charged with anything, since Charlie has sorta took it upon himself to look after him. Anyway, Bella probably had taken a picture of him when she first got here and that made him really mad but she had ran away. Now, as she approaches him to ask him to go to the city with her, he tries to fight her, but as they fight she still asks him to go to the city and than the beach with her, which kinda throws Mike off but he actually agrees because he’s worried his mom is worried about him not having friends, so they make a deal about pretending to be friends but of course they turn into real friends. Now with Jacob, Bella goes to his house to ask him, and find him fixing some weird broken thing with the music blasting and him singing along. When he see’s her he immediately knows it’s her and is thrilled. Charlie also came along to see Billy and we see cute friendship moments between them, also Charlie confessing his worries about Bella and Billy giving him advice.

So these four head on out to the city, and it’s the first time these people have come together and they slowly form a tight friend group. They roam the city and start chaos everywhere they go. Mike teaches them all how to shoplift although finds out Jessica is practically a pro, Jacob wants to roam through the dumpsters for parts he can use and the rest of them help him with Mike setting the occasional fire in these dumpsters, Jessica shows them how to stalk people and they tail a guy all the way home but they forgot about the not going inside his house part and the guy notices them so they need to make a run for it, and Bella is trying to take all these picture and nearly dies due to her clumsiness and determination to take the perfect pictures which lead to the rest of the gang saving her from falling off a building or onto the subway tracks or something. All and all, they’re each surprised about how much they like each other, except for Jacob, he liked them all from the start.

So they decide to all go out to eat before heading to the beach and Bella says she wants to go to the book store really quick and to not wait up for her. She had actually seen this book about anomalies and such through the window earlier that day, and she decided to go back for it. She had decided to go to the city originally because the drama with Edward was getting to be too much and she just needed some time away from Forks, but that book had captured her attention. Anyway we go to Edward and his family, who were at the city because they figured it would prove a nice distraction from Bella. Alice couldn’t say that Bella would be in the city because Jacob is with her and they don’t really outright say that he’s a werewolf yet. At some point the Vam Fam had smelled Bella and Edward went to go see her, much to his Vam Fam’s disappointment.

So Bella almost gets attacked by that group of guys and Edward steps in and they get to talking in the car he had stolen; well, technically Alice was trying to steal it but when he sensed Bella he took it from her and drove off. They go to the restaurant where her friends are and confirm that she has a ride with Edward to the beach, although at first he just says he’ll take her home afterwards since he can’t go to the beach, but Jacob’s all like ‘nah bro I’ll give you a pass’, since Jacob couldn’t care less about whatever feud is going on. So they eat and have an argument and they go back to the car all angry, and Edward is still bitching about how he doesn’t understand what Bella thinks or feels, since what with reading minds for roughly a century he doesn’t really remember how to properly understand a person, and this frustrates him. Before they go into the car, Bella checks her phone to see if her mom and texted her back. You see, before going on this day trip Bella decided to take initiative and text her mom first, since she didn’t do that before cause she was worried about bothering her. She did this early in the morning, and it was already night, and her mom still hadn’t texted her back. This caused sort of an emotional breakdown from Bella right there in the parking lot. She’s basically all like ‘fine, you wanna know what I’m thinking? well here you go’ and she just tells him everything, about her current situation with her parents, why she decided to move here even though she didn’t want to, how she just always wanted her mom to show that she loved her so she would always do everything to get that love, how guilty she feels for not being able to give Charlie the daughter-father relationship he probably wanted, feeling guilty wanting to be loved by her mom, basically screaming all her trauma at him. At the end she silently gets in the car and looks out the window as they drive away.

Edward feels kinda bad, so they have a nice bonding conversation, and Bella is still freaked out about his speeding. Anyway, it’s during this conversation that they both sort of develop//realize feelings they have for the other person. At first, Edward was just drawn to Bella because he was unused to not understanding people and he became obsessed with knowing her, and as he had gotten to know her he developed feelings. As for Bella, throughout this she had been interested in his inhuman nature and was equally as obsessed to understand and then also ended up falling for him. Basically they fell in love because of a desire to get to know the other person and desperate to make the person not know them. But when Bella tore down her walls in that parking lot Edward also told her some personal stuff, and I think it’s here in this car that Edward drops the bomb about being a vampire, and with now more fully understanding each other and no longer having that draw of being close to each other because of wanting to understand, there still a desire in both of them to keep seeing each other and that’s when they both realize their love.

Anyway, Edward drops Bella off and leaves immediately, but we still see people that live there scold Jacob for telling him it was okay to come drop of Bella. The squad have fun at the beach and Bella gets some great pictures, although she’s still digesting the whole Edward’s a vampire and she might be in love with him thing, so she tells her knew found friends about the whole being in love part and glosses over the vampire bit. Back with Edward, he tells his Vam Fam about being in love and telling Bella, where there are definitely mixed reactions. Now this is where they start interacting with Bella directly, rather when before they just tried to get Edward to chill about her. Alice is of course thrilled about this and has publicly declared Bella as her new best friend; it was an actual public declare, she had a microphone and announced it several times in the middle of town. Rosalie is super not thrilled about this, and definitely treats Bella coldly, although she’s thrown off at Bella’s apathy. Emmett, like Alice, is 100% down with this. Jasper is cautious, but otherwise just wants to watch it all unfold. Carlisle and Esme weren’t happy about exposing them to some teenager, but they support his endeavors none the less.

Anyway, after many shenanigans Bella is invited to dinner at the Cullen's, and she brings along Jessica, Mike, and Jacob. The family’s a bit wary of this guest list, as it was the girl who had tried several times to break into their house and expose their secrets, a well known arsonist, and a soon to be werewolf. But, they actually all had a grand time, and they all kinda start acting like one big family. Particularly Jacob with Jasper and Alice, and Jessica with Rosalie and Emmett, to set up my plans down the line. Now, I’m not saying that there NEEDS to be a polymerous relationship with these two sets of three, but I’d like for it to happen. Jacob would probably notice Jasper’s not really enjoying himself at this socializing stuff, especially with the smell of human blood and all, and Jacob comes over and they get to talking and Jasper will get into that, and it’s helpful that since Jacob is in the future going to be a werewolf he doesn’t have the urge to eat him. So Alice will come over, thrilled that Jasper is having a good time, and then her and Jacob will probably get into something wholesomely chaotic and Jasper will just sit back and watch, enjoying the drama that will come from this. And with Jessica, she’s asking a million questions and exploring the house as much as she could, and Rosalie has taken it upon herself to try and placate her, but Jessica ends up roping Emmett into something and Rosalie now needs to look after him too, but somehow they all have a good time. Meanwhile, I feel like Mike would really vibe with Carlisle and Esme, not in a polymerous way like the others. They’re so exasperated by his behavior but never rude to him, which he finds jarring and it encourages him to be nice to them, and they sort of become like parents to him.

Anyway more stuff happens, probably romantic stuff between Edward and Bella and Jacob kinda slowly realizing he has feelings for Bella more near the end of the season but not letting it show, and then there comes the baseball scene. While they’re doing baseball Jessica actually put a sort of spy camera thing on Bella, but Edward wasn’t around when this was happening, and Jacob was with Jessica when she did this so Alice couldn’t see it. Anyway, Jessica, Jacob and Mike go about spying and they find out that about the whole vampire thing, Then the other vampires show up and they actually drive down to help, driving out onto the field, nearly running over the other vampires, which by the way, besides Victoria, James, Laurent, there’s actually going to be two more vampires with them. I say this, because after getting out of the car, Mike throws a match at this other vampire which sets them ablaze. James, who afterwards comments how he always hated this vampire, takes this opportunity to tear them to pieces as they burn so they die, while Victoria and Laurent are in the back like ‘this bitch really just did that; this is why we can never add new members to our group’. I dunno, I feel like this group of three should be a lot closer and maybe not spilt up or something, like their actually friends.

So now James has two objectives; make Mike into a vampire, and eat Bella, in no particular order. He just takes a really big interest in Mike. Anyway, Laurent is just so done with this drama, and tells James that the Volturi was probably going to be really upset about four non vampires being in on the secret, so they probably don’t want to get involved when shit hits the fan, and Victoria, who is always down for a little murdering, convinces him that they need a more careful plan then just going after them. So James reluctantly agrees, but when they leave he tells the other vampire that’s there to go after Bella and Mike and bring her to him without telling the other two.

So drama ensues, they gotta keep Mike and Bella from dying, they gotta deal with more people knowing their vampires, etc. I think that the vampire that now’s gotta track down Bella and Mike, who I’m gonna call Eric because this is Eric now, isn’t super down with this but is going with it cause he doesn’t want James to kill him. So he feels bad about all this and becomes pretty sympathetic, and the Vam Fam at some point will try and convince him to just join them and that they’ll protect him, but Eric didn’t do it so they had to kill him in the end and it’s very sad.

Anyway, we’ll probably go back to the vampire trio and they figured out that James sent Eric away and now Eric was dead, and they’re just talking. Also, I’m making Victoria and James not mates, because I don’t want that. And there’s the dance that of course needs to happen, and at the end of the season it shows how far Bella’s and Charlie’s relationship has progressed, and with Bella injured she needs Charlie to do some things for her, and she’s forced to accept parental care and learns that it’s actually not that bad. She also stopped constantly checking to see if Renee had texted her. So back to the dance, the Vam Fam siblings and Bella with her friends all go and of course cause chaos that gets them kicked out of the dance. So they decide to go running around town instead, and Bella and Edward have a quiet moment together and it’s nice.

SEASON 2 (AKA Book 2, New Moon)

So the Vam Fam doesn’t leave town, because I don’t want them to. There was going to be a birthday party at the Vam Fam’s house, and along with Bella’s friends Charlie’s invited and he tries to invite Billy too but then Billy turns him down saying he can’t go there, which makes Charlie sad so now Billy’s sad and he grits his teeth and asks the Vam Fam to hold the birthday party somewhere on neutral ground, so they do and they end up going to like the woods or something, maybe that special meadow Bella and Edward had gone to. So the party’s going fine although it’s a little tense with Billy there, which kinda makes the rest of the people there confused. Jacob doesn’t really get why his dad hates the Vam Fam, or why most everyone he knows does, and he tires to get them to get along, but it fails.

When Billy sees Jacob all friendly with the Vam Fam, particularly Jasper and Alice, Billy tries to put a stop to that, telling Jacob not to get to close. Jacob’s trying to make light of the situation, being all like, ‘nah dad, you crazy’ and Emmett joins in trying to make a joke of it; I feel like Emmett and Jacob would have such a Fred and George Weasley vibe to them as friends. However, as Billy gets more and more persistent with Jacob cutting himself off from the Vam Fam, Jasper gets noticeably hostile, not liking that idea at all, and ready to throw down with Billy. Alice, also visibly upset but not hostile, tries to calm him down while the rest of the family tries to reason with Billy, as they are also not thrilled with the idea of not seeing Jacob again and they don’t want Jasper to fight Billy and break the treaty. Bella’s trying to get everyone to calm down by reminding Billy that this is her birthday party and uses her birthday privilege's to ask him to leave it for now. Meanwhile Mike is yelling at Billy and Jessica is writing everything down, Charlie’s asking Billy to not ruin his daughter’s birthday party, it’s a mess all around.

At some point Billy says something that goes to far and Jasper lunges for him and the Vam Fam need to stop him and such. After the party Jacob takes Billy home, and both of them think that the other doesn’t know about the vampires so they’re just kinda tensely all like ‘well that was weird, probably nothing to really look to deeply into though, haha’. After the party to lighten the mood Edward starts bitching about how he couldn’t give Bella a present, and so Bella takes a picture of him and says ‘there, now you gave me a present, happy?’ and it’s very cute. Jacob gets a bit upset at Jasper, telling him that he shouldn’t attack his father and stuff, and Jasper doesn’t feel bad about it and is just sad that Jacob is now upset and Alice is trying to get them to make up, which they do eventually. And Charlie questions Billy about his odd hatred and Billy kinda dodges the questions.

So in this season it’s basically about how Edward and Bella are dating and Jacob is secretly in love with Bella but it’s not a secret to the Vam Fam thanks to their powers and then Jacob deals with the werewolf thing and how he’s suddenly supposed to hate them. It’s a very Jacob centered season. And there is of course the motorcycles, which are there because Jacob gave them to Bella as a birthday gift, saying he had found them at the dump a few days ago and still need to fix them up, so now they start hanging out alone more to fix the bikes, although sometimes Mike and Jessica tag along. This is also where Bella learns that she actually really likes the rush of adrenaline, much to Edward’s nagging. There’s also going to be some tenseness between Edward and Jacob in this season, but it’s more quiet since Jacob never outright says he likes Bella, although after he learns about the whole mind reading thing he doesn’t know what to do about that. And of course there’s the jealousy from Jasper and Alice’s side, who are slowly coming to terms with their feelings for Jacob, and are heavily conflicted because he’s going to be a werewolf and they can’t be together after he turns but they still want to make the most of the time they spend together, and it makes Alice anxious when she can’t see Jacob’s future which makes him unpredictable to her and she worries if something bad will happen to him when he’s out of her sight which in turn makes Jasper sense her worry and makes him worried so they try to be around him as much as possible, which he enjoys but is a bit thrown off by.

This is where Jacob introduces his other friends Emery and Quil. I want to make them a bit more distinct from each other, so I want Emery to be the quieter yet very rebellious one that does crazy shit, and Quil to be the more extroverted one but can get very moody and cynical, which Leah can definitely vibe with and they often have deep conversations. Speaking of Leah, we also meet Leah and Seth this season. The Vam Fam is less than friendly towards them, similar to how they treated Jacob at first, the only difference being that they didn’t end up warming up to them, except for Leah and Rosalie, who became surprising friends.

Jacob gets stressed about the situation with Emery suddenly joining Sam’s little cult, and while the Vam Fam sympathizes with him, they don’t tell him the secret. He’s not super surprised that Emery suddenly got into the group, since Emery’s always doing crazy shit and so does Sam’s pack, but he does find it weird that he’s suddenly not talking to him and Quil anymore. So Jessica is now super ready to expose all of Sam’s secrets on this weird group and how he sucked Emery into it, so she, Jacob, Bella, Quil, Leah, Seth and Mike keep trying to find out about Sam’s crew, and Jasper and Alice try to put a stop to it, worried that finding out will trigger Jacob’s transformation, and Rosalie and Emmett sometimes give assistance because Jessica asked, but they don’t get to involved because of the treaty, and Edward is really worried about Bella while she does this so he’s torn between helping and stopping it, shifting from helping Jasper and Alice and Rosalie and Emmett.. And this sort of mystery solving thing carries on for a while, and at this point Sam and his crew are pretty fed up with it.

So then comes the time when Jacob becomes a werewolf, and happens after him, Bella, Mike, and Jessica take a break from spying and cause chaos at the movies; the employees saw them enter and they already knew it was going to be a rough day. Bella was recording the movie illegally, Mike set a small fire to the popcorn, Jessica broke them into where they were making the movies play and that’s where they watched it, and Jacob, in his sickened state, accidently broke the thing playing the movie and they had to bolt. Bella, Mike, and Jessica all get worried about him, and they try to go visit him at home but Billy keeps pushing them away, and the Vam Fam wouldn’t give any details, so Jessica does what she does best and breaks in, where Jacob nearly attacks her in his wolfy state, but he manages to calm down and he and Jessica talk about how he’s turning into a werewolf.

So after Jacob can go out and about, the pack tells him he can’t hang out with the Cullen’s anymore since they’re vampires, and Jacob’s all like, ‘okay, but they don’t hunt people, they hung animals right? so what’s the problem lmao’ he’s genuinely confused why they need to be all hostile towards them. And here while they’re trying to convince him to not hang out with vampires it can show the dynamic of the pack. Sam can come across as too harsh and a very dominate person, while his second in command, Jared, is much more chill and tires to broaden Sam’s narrow view. But Jared is the only one who can do this, since they’re very close and possibly lovers that have imprinted on each other. Emily is actually a werewolf now, and she got her scars because she and Sam actually became werewolves at the same time and when they first met as werewolves their hormones were all over the place so they attacked each other and that’s how Emily got her face injuries. Anyway, she’s got a level head too but she mostly thinks about what’s best for the pack rather than everyone like Jared does. Then there’s Paul, the guy whose always of the mindset to throw punches first and ask questions never. I’m going to make Brady and Collin here now too, and with Brady, he’s honestly apathetic to the idea of now being a wolf, and would much rather go read a book or something then be here with all this wolf drama. As for Brady, she’s pretty social awkward, but just as vicious as Paul if she gets into the mood. Basically, she’ll be all like, ‘uh, hi, yeah, um, maybe we should, uh, if you don’t mind that is, just go in and kill them all? please?’ and I changed Brady to a girl just to help with the ratio of boys to girls in the wolf tribe. As for Emery, he’s the one who will put himself in the most danger, but also he’s at odds with Sam what with them being half brothers and not having the best relationship before all this wolf stuff went down. Also, Jessica is there too when Jacob goes to meet them, which the pack isn’t happy about, telling her she can’t report this.

Anyway, the Vam Fam are depressed about the whole situation with Jacob cause they really liked him, so imagine their surprise while Bella and Mike were also hanging out at their house when Jacob and Jessica burst in. Jacob explains what’s been going on, basically asking if he can break the treaty and still hang out. Rosalie’s all like ‘bitch no’, nervous about the safety of her family, and Edward sides with her, much to Bella’s glaring. Esme and Carlisle, are hesitant, but do give in. And Alice, Jasper, Emmett are of course ecstatic of this news that he didn’t suddenly hate them. I think this is actually an opportunity for Jacob to get closer to Jasper and Alice, since Jasper can help with Jacob’s new found anger. I think werewolves when they first become werewolves they have an explosive temper, kind of like puberty, but then after a few months or however long they calm down. Anyway, Jasper can help with managing his anger, and this may result in some codependency's now that I think about it, but these books are built on codependent relationships, so the more the merrier.

But then the vampire trio tell the Volturi about the situation down at Forks, and the Vam Fam need to go down to the Voltari to go talk to them. But Jessica, who had actually started to gain a lot of odd information on the vampire world as any good reporter would, hears the news of the potential planned killing of the Vam Fam set up by the vampire trio, so now Bella, Mike, Jessica and Jacob need to go to the Volturi to put an end to that. Before the Vam Fam could even get to the Volturi, James gets all impatient and starts attacking them right then and there, in front of all those people. A fight scene happens, and then Jane shows up like ‘surprise bitch’, but then the real surprise comes when Bella and her friends show up, causing a scene and it accidentally lets James and his crew to get away.

I think it would be a cool scene if Jacob, Edward and Bella enter first ahead of the rest of them and the moment they’re in front of the Volturi, with Aro looking at them, he’ll smile and say something like ‘a vampire, a werewolf, and a human; what an oddity you all are’ and since these three had kinda been a bit at odds this season what with Jacob’s crush on Bella, now they are a united front. So they make an arrangement for them all to become vampires within a certain time frame or else they will be killed. Aro also says that they’ll occasionally go check up on them.

Now Edward’s being all emo and avoiding Bella, which makes her sad so Jacob goes and tracks down Edward and he bolts, so now Jacob is chasing after Edward, being all like ‘bitch you better go see her’, and he actually ends up catching him. Edward’s all like ‘but don’t you love her’ and Jacob just kinda shrugs and says something like how mutual love is much better than a one sided one. They have this heartfelt talk about stuff and Edward goes to see Bella, and Jacob, who at this point had just been comically chasing Edward around, allowed himself to cry once Edward left. Then he’ll go talk to Alice and Jasper, and throughout this entire season it seemed obvious that they were both trying so hard to keep hold on the ties they had, regardless of the obstacles, and now it’s kind of come full circle when they can just relax and be together and stuff, also there will be a small hint of Jacob’s returning feelings towards them. So Edward and Bella share a moment, maybe back at that meadow or something.

But the last scene of the season will be Leah and Seth at home with their dad Harry, and the whole Leah transforming which gives Harry a heart attack and then Seth transforms too, and it’s just going to be a very jarring scene to end on.

SEASON 3 (AKA Book 3, Eclipse)

So the first scene will be with how James, Laurent and Victoria are making their army and this is where Bree comes in. Victoria is honestly thriving with this whole army thing, and James is just super impatient and wants to just go kill em, and Laurent is low key stressed about pissing off the Volturi.

But with the wolf pack, there’s a new dynamic that Leah and Seth brings and there’s the whole grief with their father, so maybe the just refuse to transform for a while, sort of defying the pack and it’s alpha and choosing not to be a part of it. So that’ll cause drama for a while, as if there wasn’t enough with Jacob still running around with vampires and by the looks of things getting way to close to Jasper and Alice. Jacob is trying to get over his love of Bella, and is doing pretty good, much to the delight of Jasper and Alice, but they don’t want to rush things. Also, I don’t think werewolves should be able to share thoughts so they know exactly what’s happening with each other at all times, but instead when they shape into werewolves they can communicate with their minds. That way Jacob can keep it a secret about the whole turning three humans into vampires thing.

Also, with the idea that they now how to eventually turn three humans into vampires or else they’ll die is kinda unsettling to the Vam Fam. They’re trying to decide when to do it, and they all have different opinions. Jessica and Mike are honestly ready right now, but Bella wants to wait till after high school since she worries about Charlie, Rosalie and Edward wants to do it never and would honestly rather try and bring down the Volturi, Emmett will be down for honestly anything whether it be doing it now later or fighting the Voltari, Esme, Carlisle, and Alice actually agree with Bella and think waiting till they move town again would be the smartest plus Alice looks into the future and thinks that it’ll be the best possible outcome, Jacob is just upset that they’ll all be leaving him although he is reassured that he is welcome to come with although he’s not sure how that’ll pan out with the pack, and Jasper just says he’ll take care of things when they turn since he knows newborns best and just watches everyone fight over the timing since he lives for the drama. And this will also be the season of Vam Fam backstories, so throughout we will get flashbacks of what each of the Vam Fam went through. Their backstories will basically be the same, except I’m gonna tweak Jasper’s and make him a slave that was forced into fighting for the confederate side.

Also, per their promise, the Volturi will occasionally pop in just to check up on them, which will cause the wolves to mad about that. ALSO, listen, what if Aro and Marcus became low key friends with Charlie? LISTEN they keep coming around to Forks, and eventually Charlie will approach them because he hears that they’ve been talking to his daughter and he asks what’s up. Aro and Marcus will bring him to a bar or something and lie about it, but as they get to talking they somehow start bonding, and Aro and Marcus are like ‘what’s happening? what spell is this human casting upon us?’ but it’s just Charlie being the best as usual and them starting to like him. So now they’re friends that often have conversations as the season goes on, and when Billy catches wind of this he is super unhappy, wondering how Charlie can be so chill yet so prone to getting into dangerous situations, kind of like his daughter.

And since last season the polyamorous relationship that got more time was Jasper, Alice, and Jacob, so now we’ll shift more towards Rosalie, Emmett, and Jessica. Rosalie is obviously super unhappy about having to turn Jessica into a vampire, since although she loves Jessica she didn’t want her to end up like her and was content with having to leave her in order for Jessica to leave a normal life. So now throughout the season Emmett and Jessica take it upon themselves and the single brain cell they share among the two of them to reassure Rosalie in the best way they can; also, it really establishes how Rosalie is the brains of this trio, with Emmett being the himbo and Jessica being the stubborn dumbass.

So then news about the vampire trio building an army and such travels to Forks and Jessica is actually the first to hear of it. Also, the objective of this vampire army is more world domination than just tracking down Bella and Mike, although that’s definitely part of it. Since the Volturi is already after them, why not strive for world domination? We’ll also keep having scenes of the vampire army shenanigans, particularly with the vampire trio and Bree. Also, Alec and Jane were in charge of the tracking down the vampire trio thing, and they discovered the army, and they were gonna put a stop to it, but then they met Bree. They probably met while Alec and Jane were debating how to take down the army and the vampire trio and such, when some random drunk guy showed up and was being a creep towards them, so they were gonna finna destroy him when Bree popped up and threw a rock at him, took the two and ran. They get to talking and shenanigans' and they actually grow attached to her, but Bree is a very weak vampire, which is odd for a newborn, so they know the Volturi won’t accept her and that would mean they would have to kill her. So they keep delaying the killing of the vampire trio and the army to hang out with Bree some more, tortured by the idea that they’ll have to kill her eventually. Also, I’m gonna make Bree their age, or make them Bree’s age, whichever works.

So anyway, with the threat of the vampire army, the vampires and the wolves are forced to work together. Aro and Marcus know that Jane and Alec are supposed to take care of it, but they’re kinda amused so they’ll see how it all pans out. And of course chaos ensues and nobody can get along, which bugs Bella the most because she has this thing about making everyone around her happy at the cost of herself, so she comes up with idea of doing a group bonding exercise, like they all go to an amusement park or something, which she in fact hates but does for the sake of bonding.

So back to the Leah situation, she needs to go through a whole arc, and Seth does too. Leah probably low key thinks Seth blames her for the death of their father, but the thought never crossed his mind. And since she’s avoiding Seth because of this, Seth thinks that Leah doesn’t want him around. So they need to clear up that understanding, probably with the help of Emily. While Jared makes sure Sam doesn’t slaughter all the vampires and potentially Jacob, Emily tries and mends things within the pack.

At some point, Leah and Mike get kidnapped by the a few members of the vampire army. What had happened was Leah and Mike were hanging out, as everyone was taking shifts trying to get Leah and Seth to transform again, and Seth had run off at this point, and Mike was surprisingly making some serious progress, when a few members of the vampire army, including Bree, saw them and was like ‘oh wait, isn’t that Mike? from the pictures James showed us? and that girl has black hair, is that Bella bro?’ so they kidnap them.

So Leah is super not Bella and the vampire trio get angry and punish them, well, Laurent kinda just watches. So Bree will meet up with Alec and Jane kinda messed up from the punishment, also, Bree still has no idea who Alec and Jane are or even what the Volturi is. But anyway, when Alec and Jane find out about this they are very unhappy, and hatch a plan with Leah to go get the Vam Fam and the werewolves and come fight the army now, now that they have a location of them. Jane and Alec are doing this rather than taking them down themselves because if the rag tag team of vampires and werewolves were the ones fighting and not them then it would seem more reasonable if one of them were to escape the battle and disappear, that being Bree.

Mike isn’t there when this plan is hatched because he’s taking with James, who wants to turn Mike into a vampire now, but his other two friends keep telling him that Mike will just turn on them and they need to convince him to join their side while he’s still a human. So him and James hang out and although Mike is cussing them all out, him and James actually have fun causing destruction, and he also causes the biggest case of arson he has done yet, which gives him a rush. Also, Leah is trying to turn into a werewolf now, given the dire circumstances, but she can’t and she doesn’t know why.

So Jane and Alec tell the crew about the kidnapping and the location, so they all head out. Jessica and Bella try to convince the Vam Fam to just turn them into vampires now so they can help out, but they say that they’ll just be unconscious for a few days so it wouldn’t help, but Jessica and Bella say that they can be like a back up plan if they fail, so when they wake up they can avenge them or something. And this is the first time the werewolves aside from Jacob heard about the plans to turn three humans into vampires, so discord ensues but they don’t have enough time so they just go to the vampire army with Bella and Jessica tagging along, thanks to Alice who said they would in fact be useful.

So they get to the army and the battle ensues. Seth is now in werewolf form, wanting to protect his sister, and when Leah sees Seth in a tight spot, she manages to turn into a werewolf again and protect him. Mike is actually very attracted to the idea of destroying the world, but when he sees his friends, he doesn’t want them destroyed so he doesn’t go to the side of the vampire trio. After a lot of epic fighting and some unexpected teamwork, the vampire army is destroyed, and within that chaos Alec and Jane took Bree and high tailed it out of there, explaining the whole situation to Bree. She’s kinda upset that they were planning to kill her, but then Aro and Marcus appear before the situation with that could get too out of hand. Marcus senses the strong relationship the three have, and tells Aro that they will indeed lose Alec and Jane if they kill Bree, and they kinda need them so Aro plays if off like ‘why didn’t you tell me you guys wanted a new friend? sure she can join the Volturi’ and although they are confused they’re just happy Bree’s gonna live, and now they can be together.

So the vampire trio retreat, still alive somehow, and the vampire army is gone, and they got Leah and Mike back, plus Leah and Seth transform now, so all’s well that ends well. Also maybe Brady and Leah get together, which would have been set up throughout the season. Why? I dunno, because I want Leah to be happy, and also with the personality I gave Brady it would be a fun dynamic I think. Brady is all shy while Leah has a much more forceful personality, but Brady is always ready to cut a bitch while Leah isn’t all that down with hurting people most of the time. They’d probably imprint on each other.

So back with the whole Emmett and Jessica trying to convince Rosalie not to worry too much about Jessica turning into a vampire, Rosalie had known what they were doing since the beginning, and to her surprise it actually slightly worked? Not really but Rosalie chooses not to focus on the fact that Jessica will be turned into a vampire, but instead that they’ll always be together, and it’s sweet moment for the three of them. And so the Vam Fam decide to do the vampire turning thing after high school, and Edward asks if they can do it after his and Bella’s honeymoon, since he and Bella had an arrangement. Now, the audience knew about this since Bella throughout the season had been asking if Edward wanted to sleep together since she wanted to do that as a human, but he’s very adamant about the whole wait until marriage thing, so he proposed at probably the worst time, and she accepted.

But the Vam Fam didn’t know about this, so now their all dealing with that, and agree let Bella wait until after and Jessica and Mike will turn first. So some days go by and they’re planning the wedding, and then what a surprise; Renee shows up, having heard about the wedding from Charlie.

SEASON 4 (AKA Book 4, Breaking Dawn)

Wedding time, yay. Also, Renee is creating a super uncomfortable atmosphere, what with the whole Bella feeling neglected from her, and also she brought along Phil, her new husband. Everyone’s acting pretty protective over Bella, eyeing Renee up. Particularly Edward; whenever he sees Renee he just glares at her full on while holding onto Bella, and whenever Renee tries to talk to him he throws so much poetic shade Renee doesn’t even know what this man is talking about.

Bella’s kinda tense about Renee being here, and tries to get along with her, but after getting all that parental love from Charlie, she forgets that’s not how Renee operates, leading to some tense moments between her and Renee. But the wedding planning continues and Alice is stressed because these chaotic idiots are ruining her perfect planning skills. But the wedding goes on and it actually goes off without a hitch. Well, except for Mike causing a teeny tiny fire to only ONE of the bouquets, and Bella did end up tripping going down the aisle while bringing Charlie down with her so Edward went over to her and they both had to go to their places together, and Emmett and Jacob did do that drinking contest but Emmett left out the part where he couldn’t get drunk and Jacob got absolutely wasted so Jasper was in charge of taking care of him, Jessica was trying to get info on the other vampire guests which was annoying them while Rosalie stood menacingly behind her to make sure they didn’t try and anything, and one of those other vampire guests did end up sort of trying to attack Billy, but other than that it went great.

But before the wedding came to a close Bella realized that she’ll probably never see Renee or Charlie again, so she pays a lot of attention to Charlie, but near the end she asks Renee and Charlie to take a picture with her, one that she could keep for after. She and Renee got on better terms, and Renee admits that she could have been a better mother. So Bella and Edward go on their honeymoon where they have tons of sex and we get lots of scenes of that, but back in Forks, disaster ensues.

So Mike and Jessica are getting ready for the whole going to be a vampire thing, and the Vam Fam makes arrangements to move. Mike and Jessica leaving won’t look weird, since they just graduated high school and it’s not like they have anyone particularly close here, well, except with Mike’s mom. So he goes to say his goodbyes to her, and it’s very sad because Mike knows they’ll never see each other again but his mom doesn’t. And then there’s the whole situation with Jacob going with them, which his pack and dad aren’t happy about. So he’s trying to convince them, when suddenly him imprints on Alice and Jasper. Now it’s official; he needs to go with them, and it’s actually a kind of sad goodbye to his dad and the werewolves that were actually his friends. So now the Vam Fam has included Jacob in it, now it was Jessica and Mike’s turn.

So the Vam Fam and Jessica and Mike go to the new house and they turn Jessica and Mike into vampires, with Rosalie being the one to do it for Jessica and Carlisle doing it for Mike. Then, the vampire trio show up to ruin things, and there’s a big fight, and James and Mike have their own separate fight going on. Throughout this entire series, it would be shown the parallels between Mike and James, how naturally violent they both are, how it seems to be a match made in hell for these two. But now it seems like their violent ways had caught up so them, as they fight with everything they got and enjoying the hell out of it, and so Mike and James die together, having killed the other one. Mike’s final words will probably be something like ‘damn, I just got these cool ass powers; I was gonna do so much’ and James laughs and is like ‘hell yeah, you missed out’ and after they say that they die, hand in hand.

The vampire trio, now the vampire duo, is devastated at this news, James was like family to them. So they run off but swear revenge, even Laurent pissed off now. They all mourn the death of Mike, and Alice was taking it especially hard because she had relaxed on the future seeing and didn’t see this coming. Then she saw the thing with Bella being pregnant and went to go call her to tell her that she was pregnant and Mike was dead.

Bella had already suspected the pregnant party, but the Mike being dead took her so off guard she actually fainted, although Edward caught her. They go to the house where the wolf pack was already there at the request of Jacob, to help fight when the vampire duo attack. Although, they are not happy with the pregnancy. It’s very emotional for a while, what with Mike dying, Jessica dealing with being a newborn, and Bella on the verge of dying with this baby she refuses to give up.

So she gives birth and dies but comes back a vampire, and now Renesmee is out in the world, which the Volturi doesn’t like. We go back to the Volturi and get some scenes with them, also with Aro and Marcus consoling Charlie about his ‘dead daughter’ who they actually feel genuinely bad for. Also we get scenes with Bree, Alec and Jane, who are just having a grand time, although some of the other vampires pick on Bree for being so weak, Alec and Jane roll up and they’re on their knees in front of Bree begging for forgiveness, which she gives much to Alec and Jane’s pouting. In any case, the Volturi know about Renesmee, and they need to go kill her.

So Bella’s discovering her mind blocking powers, and Edward is losing his mind about how he finally knows why he can’t read her mind, and Jessica learns she doesn’t really have any powers other than an average vampire. Life goes on and such, and Bella and Edward are getting really attached to Renesmee, loving the hell out of her and doing their best to figure out how to be parents, and this is when the coupling of Jacob with Alice and Jasper and Jessica with Emmett and Rosalie is now official, so they get couple moments. But then the Volturi rolls in. Alice does her thing and shows what will happen if this battle happens so they roll back out, but then Victoria swoops in and straight up kills Renesmee, then Bella kills her. Laurent is there, but after Victoria dies he realizes that all his friends, his family, are dead, and so he just closes his eyes and allows himself to be killed.

So after Renesmee is dead, Edward and Bella are really going through it, and then Bella just reminds Edward of his days of killing murders and pedos and such, and she kinda hints that she’d be totally down for some of that. And so now it’s murder road trip time of killing murders and pedos, and the Vam Fam isn’t upset about the killing really, their just worried that this might not be the healthiest way to handle the loss of their child. But they do and we get to see a bunch of their killing fun times, and there’s actually going to be a time jump of maybe like 30 years or so, when the Vam Fam is in a different town doing stuff, and then Edward and Bella show up and they’re all reunited. Edward and Bella settle down from the killing joy ride, although they hint that they wouldn’t be adverse to doing it again if they get into the mood. So now that’s their cute couple thing; killing murderers and pedos.

EXTRA DETAILS

Couple pet names would consist of;

Edward to Bella: Love, My Lion (Edward had that dumbass line about him being the lion and her being the lamb, but I’m gonna change it so he was like ‘at first I thought you were the lamb and I was the lion, but I realize it’s the opposite’ or something stupidly emo like that and Bella’s all like ‘Edward pls’ but the nickname stuck)

Bella to Edward: My Lamb (same explanation as above)

Rosalie to Jessica: My Little Storm

Rosalie to Emmett: My Monkey Man

Emmett to Rosalie: Babe (when referring to both Rosalie and Jessica he says Babes), Angel

Emmett to Jessica: Babe (same explanation as above)

Jessica to Rosalie: Kitty

Jessica to Emmett: Big Boy

Jasper to Alice: Ma’am, Frightening Little Monster, Darlin’

Jasper to Jacob: Sunshine, Darlin’

Alice to Jasper: My Darling

Alice to Jacob: My Dearest

Jacob to Jasper: Cat (It started as a joke and then it wasn’t)

Jacob to Alice: Raven (again, started as a joke)

Jared to Sam: Sap

Sam to Jared: My Life, Precious Thing

Leah to Brady: Baby

Brady to Leah: Mine

Regular nicknames used by anyone;

Isabella: Bella, Bells

Michael: Mike, Mikey

Jessica: Jess, Jessie

Charlie: Chuck (only if you want to annoy the hell out of him)

Rosalie: Rose, Rosie

Jasper: Jazz, Whitlock

Alice: Mary, Shorty

Emmett: Em, McCarty

Edward: Anthony, Eddy

Esme: Platt

Carlisle: Lyle

Jacob: Jake, Jay

William: Billy

Sam: Sammy

Jared: Jay-Jay

Emily: Lily

Paul: The Paul-ster (If you want him to try and kill you)

Brady: Phyco

Leah: Lee Lee

Seth: Sethy

Collin: Lin

Victoria: Vickie

James: Jamie

Laurent: Laur’

Aro: No (insert heart emoji)

Marcus: Mark

Jane: Plain

Alec: Al

Bree: Baby Bree (mostly just Baby)

Also, I find it hard to believe that the Cullens stuck to America while moving around so much, so this is where I think all of them are from:

Esme: Caribbean

Carlisle: Britain

Jasper: America

Emmett: Canada

Edward: Italy

Alice: Wales

Rosalie: France

ALSO throughout the entirety of the series it’s probably going to have more Edward and Bella moments then what was written, since this is a story about their romance, I just thought I’d put in other stuff and mention it since the romance scenes would be pretty obvious.

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 3 years

Text

Love

ace!Leviathan x ace gn!MC

Words - 2503

Content warnings - asexual characters, some internalized acephobia, lots of love and comfort

Prompt/inspiration - a gift for a reader on AO3 ☺️

Summary - You head to Levi’s room to check on him after not hearing from him all day, only to find him crying alone. After talking with him, you both learn something special about one another.

AO3

You were standing outside of Levi’s door debating whether or not to knock. Usually he was the one calling and texting you, inviting you to join him to play games, or watch anime, or just to hang out together in his room. But today, he had been quiet. Something that hadn’t happened since your early days in the Devildom.

To make matters worse, he was leaving all your messages on read, so you weren’t sure if he was mad at you or just too busy to respond. And you couldn’t think of anything that he had been looking forward to recently that would leave him so occupied. While you were contemplating your options, you pressed your ear to his door to see if you could hear any sounds from inside that might give you a clue as to what he was doing. That’s when you heard the unmistakable sounds of your favorite otaku sniffling and choking back sobs.

“Levi?”, you called out to him, opening his door without waiting for a response.

“Hmm?! Yeah?!” Levi startled, roughly scrubbing at his face to rid himself of his tears and trying to make himself look at least a bit like he hadn’t spent the better part of the day sitting in his room feeling sorry for himself.

“Hey, Levi, what’s wrong?” you asked him gently, as you sat down next to him by his aquarium, facing the opposite direction so you could see him better. He had his knees drawn up to his chest, and by now had given up trying to dry his tears and instead just hid his face in his arms.

When Levi didn’t respond, you simply wrapped your arms around his head and shoulders and held him, running your fingers through his hair. He stiffened for a moment, unsure if he really wanted you so close right now, but soon he had released his hold on his own legs, opting instead to wrap his arms around your middle, practically pulling himself into your lap in the process. And as soon as his face was hidden in the fabric of your shirt, he started crying once more.

All you could do for Levi was hold him, gently rubbing his back and combing his hair with your other hand. You had never seen him so upset before. Is this why he was hiding in his room all day?

“It’s ok Levi, it’s ok.”

But it was definitely not ok. At least not from Levi’s perspective. This had officially been the worst day ever, and there was exactly zero possibility of it getting better. He had stayed up late the night before, crafting the most eloquent love letter he had ever written (well, the only love letter he had ever written), determined to give it to you today to tell you how he felt. And just as he was about to slip it under your door, he stopped dead in his tracks, watching as you smiled and laughed with his brothers on your way to breakfast.

Oh. That’s right. How had he forgotten?

Levi wasn’t stupid, he could tell how smitten his brothers were with you. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, and especially obvious to him who had known them for so long. They had all changed in subtle ways, becoming kinder, softer, more loving, since you had come along. And he had changed too. He knew that. He wrote a love letter for goodness sake. He never would have imagined he would be doing that for anyone that wasn’t 2D.

Still, there was one striking difference between himself and his brothers that he knew from all his anime and manga and dating sims was an essential part of any healthy relationship, and it wasn’t something he could give you. At least, not how he knew it was supposed to be. He loved you more than anything, he had no doubt in his mind about that. He even thought sometimes that you loved him too, with the way you would smile at him or gently hold his hand when he got anxious. But that didn’t make any difference did it? Love alone wouldn’t change things.

That didn’t stop him from clinging to you though, sobbing into your shirt and wishing you could just know how he felt and that he didn’t have to put it into words or explain. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same, even though he knew that was impossible. But he could still dream couldn’t he? Dreams were all he had left now.

After a while, Levi’s breathing started to calm and he was able to focus on the sound of your heartbeat. He loved that sound. More times than he’d care to admit, he had gotten distracted just listening to it while you cuddled with him and watched a show together. Sometimes even falling asleep. You had never said anything to him about it before, but the way you held him to you now made him think that perhaps you knew and wanted to make sure he could hear it.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, trying to sit up, but you didn’t let him go and he didn’t fight you. He only snuggled closer to you, which made you smile as you hugged him tight.

“It’s ok, Levi. You don’t need to apologize,” you felt him nod against your chest, and you pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“I was worried about you today. I tried calling you and texting you all day at RAD,” you paused before continuing, “Can you tell me what happened?”

He didn’t answer right away, and you felt his arms tighten around you.

“It’s ok, take your time. I just want to help,” you soothed, continuing to rub his back as you held him, patiently waiting for him to open up.

“...do you like any of my brothers?”

“Uh, huh? I mean, they're all important to me, if that’s what you’re asking. But where’s this coming from?”

“No, I mean like like them. You know,” he mumbled into your chest.

“Like do I have a crush on them?”

“...yeah,” he replied, meekly.

“Well, no, I can’t say I do. But seriously, where is this coming from?”

Levi didn’t want to answer. He was bad at this stuff. It’s why he wrote the letter in the first place. His thoughts and feelings would just get so jumbled up whenever he tried to talk about these things out loud. He tightened his fist around the letter that he was still holding, crumpled up in his hand. Maybe if he could just give it to you, you would understand?

This time when he tried to sit up and pull away from you, you let him, studying his face closely as he did his best to hide behind his bangs. When you noticed the wad of paper he was holding out to you, you took it from him and carefully unfolded it.

“What’s this?” you asked, and when he still didn’t answer, you started to read.

Dear Henry,

I bet this is weird, getting a letter from me right? I hope you don’t mind. I thought about talking to you, but every time I tried I forgot what to say so I thought writing would be easier.

I’m really glad that you were chosen for the exchange program, and that I got to know you. I’ve never had a best friend before. And you’re the best friend I could ever imagine. I know I’m just...well, me...but I hope I’m able to be at least half as good of a friend to you.

I love you.

xoxo,

Lord of Shadow

aka

Leviathan

You had to read over the letter a couple times just to make sure it was real and you weren’t imagining the whole thing. Levi loved you? But why was he so upset? And what was with all the weird questions about his brothers? As much as you wanted to leap for joy after finally receiving his confession, you were also deeply confused.

“Levi, I’m not sure I understand,” you asked, raising your head to look at him again. Levi was curled up on himself once more, hugging his knees tightly to his chest and keeping his face from view.

“What is there to understand? It’s exactly what it looks like.”

“Then why are you so sad?” you scooted closer to him so that your legs were touching again, and tenderly stroked his head, “Did you think I’d reject you?”

“That’s what you’re going to do isn’t it?” he said, sniffling and pulling his legs even closer.

“No, Levi. Of course not. I love you too.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why would you think that?” your arms were now wrapped around his shoulders again, your cheek resting on top of his head. You had to admit that it stung hearing him reject your own confession, but it only strengthened your resolve to get answers.

“I’m not like my brothers.”

“I know, that’s why I’m here with you and not them.”

“I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend.”

“I’d like to be the judge of that.”

“But it’s true. I can’t...you know...do the thing.”

“The thing?”

“Yeah the thing.”

“I don’t know what that is, Levi.”

“THE thing. The thing only couples do,” he was getting a bit frustrated now. Were you really going to make him say it?

“Levi...do you mean sex?” you raised your head to try to catch a glimpse of Levi’s face, but all you could see were the tips of his (very red) ears as he turned his head more to the side and buried it further in his arms.

“...yeah.”

“Hey, that’s ok. You don’t need to,” you said, wrapping your arms back around him, hugging him tightly.

“Of course you need to. That’s what couples do,” Levi couldn’t conceal the waiver in his voice as his eyes started to well with tears once again.

“And where did you hear that?”

“I dunno. Everywhere. It’s how it is, isn’t it? You fall in love, you kiss, you...you know...and that’s how you know you’re a couple.”

“Levi,” you chuckled softly, “this isn’t a shojo manga or a dating sim. There are plenty of people in relationships that don’t have sex.” You pressed another kiss to the top of his head as you started to run your fingers through his hair like you had been earlier.

The truth was, this was the exact conversation you had been fearing and why you had avoided admitting to your own feelings for so long. You had been in relationships before, and some of them ended quite badly after you had explained your sexual preferences, or lack thereof you could say. The last thing you wanted was to have Levi reject you, but even more than that, you didn’t want him to think that there was something wrong with him that made you not want to have that sort of a relationship.

Learning that he felt the same way, and struggled with the same fears, was a huge relief to you, lifting a weight you hadn’t even been aware you had been carrying from your shoulders.

“There are plenty of ways to be intimate, to feel connected, that don’t involve sex. And I think we have a pretty good connection already, don’t you?”

You heard Levi sniffle, before he cautiously raised his head to look at you. He was surprised to see the understanding in your eyes, as well as the soft smile that spread across your lips. He hadn’t thought it possible to love you anymore than he already did, but here he was, heart threatening to beat out of his chest, while you looked at him like he was the most precious person in the entire world. When his tears started to fall again, you were quick to pull him back into a hug, and this time he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into the crook of your neck.

“I love you, Levi. So much. So so so much,” you whispered to him, “Do you want to know a secret?”

Levi nodded against your neck, still too emotional to verbally respond.

“I feel the same way as you. I don’t want that sort of relationship either.”

He tightened his grip around you, soaking up all your words and reassurances. Did you really feel the same way as him? Is that why you understood him so well? Because you wanted the same things? Is that why he always felt so at ease around you? Because you never asked of him more than he was able to give?

“We can do things our own way, you know? That’s for us to decide. Doesn’t matter what anyone else does.”

“Really? I can just hug you and watch anime with you and stuff and you’ll be happy?”

“Yeah. I’ll be happy. I am happy. You’re my best friend, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s all I need. My best friend.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, hugging and cuddling one another, the occasional giggle being exchanged as the smile started to return to Levi’s face.

“Hey, you think we could go cuddle in the bean bag? We could put on an anime or something if you want. My back is just getting kinda sore sitting on the floor like this,” you asked, straightening up and stretching out your neck. Levi was quick to agree and help you up off the floor, leading you by the hand to his oversized bean bag chair.

“Umm...do you think we could...just cuddle?” he gave your hand a small squeeze, blushing at having asked such a direct question.

“Yeah, we can do that,” you replied, taking a seat and tugging Levi down to join you, causing him to tumble into your lap.

“Ah! S-sorry…!” he scrambled to get off of you, but you only laughed and adjusted your legs so that he was seated between them, perpendicular to you.

“It’s ok, you can stay,” you said with a smile, gently holding him in place with your hand on his hip. Levi’s blush deepened, but he nodded in agreement, quickly wrapping his arms around your middle and resting his head on your shoulder, with his forehead pressed against your neck.

As you began to scratch his back, he relaxed more fully against you, enjoying your warmth and the tenderness of your touch. He could feel his worries melting away. He felt so safe with you. So understood. Accepted. It didn’t matter what weird quirk he revealed to you, intentionally or otherwise, you always embraced it, often revealing one of your own to help put him at ease. It was like the two of you were made for each other. Soulmates, if such a thing existed. And his heart had never before felt so full.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too, Levi,” you replied.

#gn!mc #ace!mc #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me levi #levi x mc #obey me fanfic #obey me angst #obey me comfort #levi fanfic #levi angst #levi comfort

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