#it healed my religious trauma

[thaliasthunder]

just remembered magnus is canonically atheist and as an atheist in a really religious and conservative country that has had bad experiences w intolerant believers once they discovered im atheist, i would absolutely die for him

#the way one is on his ass to try to force him to believe in any god or follow any religion? #it healed my religious trauma #atheist magnus i would take a bullet for u #magnus chase #mcga #incorrect mcga #magnus chase and the hammer of thor #alex fierro #samirah al abbas #atheism #rick riordan #riordanverse #pjo #hoo #pjo/hoo

[kashlat2]

The origin of Sin

#avatrice #warrior nun #healing my religious trauma

[heyitskoye]

A Messiah

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fanart #jonathan sims #jarchivist #as pantocrator because well you know #(((NOT JESUS FANART))) #religious imagery #healing my religious trauma one jon at a time #the magnus archives fanart #my art

[sixsickfish]

Lesbian goddesses in my dnd show and I shout glory hallelujah

#suddenly my religious trauma is healed #cassandra fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high #ankarna #fantasy high junior year

[inspector-constable]

Aziraphale and the Gray Area: Why is he like that though

Good omens season 2 spoilers ahead

One of the things religious trauma gave me is a strong sense of right vs. wrong. The idea that there is always a right way to do things or a right course of action, and to not do things that way is simply wrong. This is more than just feeling afraid of being punished for doing the wrong thing; it feels like part of my identity. I think of myself as a good person, so I want to do good things and I want to do the right thing. If I choose to do the wrong thing, I lose myself and I lose what I value in myself. Sometimes it’s a good thing to feel like this, it’s what led me away from a religion that preached hate. Sometimes it’s not such a good thing, because I can hurt people by trying to do the right thing, or by trying to put my personal sense of morals onto other peoples’ situations. I have been picking through my beliefs for over a decade trying to confront and dismantle the harmful ones. It’s a painful process and it takes a long, long time.

How much longer must it take for a literal angel, a servant of God? We have the pleasure of seeing this process in Aziraphale through the ages, and it’s a lot slower than fans want it to be. I think people see Aziraphale in his moments in the gray area - lying, disobeying orders, being a bastard, enjoying human food, and loving and trusting a demon - and they think that he must be just fine with being in the middle: mostly right, a bit wrong, very human. But that characterization oversimplifies and misses Aziraphale’s true nature.

The sense of justice and good vs. evil is central to who Aziraphale is. He is not just another angel following commands; he is doing what he truly thinks is right no matter what the consequences may be. He ends up being quite a bit more good and loving than any of the other angels we meet, because he isn’t okay with doing what he knows is wrong. He knows it innately, but also he knows it because of what he was taught. When you’re taught that hate and violence and greed is wrong, but then you see hate and violence and greed being perpetuated by your teachers, you start to wonder where that dividing line really is.

That’s where the gray area comes in. When Aziraphale gives away his sword, he’s aware it’s not technically the right thing to do, but decides it is the actual right thing to do to protect Eve and Adam and their child. Same as when he lies to the angels about Job’s children, only this time instead of fudging the truth and avoiding the confrontation, he has to make a direct choice to do something that is technically wrong - lying - in order to avoid doing something he really, really knows is Wrong - murder. In this case, he’s not okay with lying despite it being wrong, he’s okay with lying because it is the right thing to do. It still causes a large amount of internal conflict when he thinks he will be sent to Hell for disobeying, but that fear of punishment didn’t stop him from doing what he thought was good.

For Aziraphale, the gray area is not about being a little bit evil, it’s about fudging the Rules and disobeying authority in order to remain completely good. Since Crowley is in the gray area with him, surely Crowley must be in the same boat of wanting to do the Right thing. Throughout thousands of years of history Aziraphale never stops arguing the side of Good, trying to convince Crowley to do the right thing. Sometimes he finds that Crowley was actually right all along, and then Aziraphale can feel safe to align himself with whatever the demon is doing. Sometimes Aziraphale even tries to convince Heaven to do the right thing with him. During Armageddon, Aziraphale avoids telling Crowley the truth because he thinks it would be better to get Heaven to stop doing the wrong thing. And he’s right, a lot of problems would be solved and life would be easier if Heaven would listen to Aziraphale and stop inflicting their harmful views on the world. 

It would be nice if Aziraphale would realize, at the end of the first season, that Heaven is not interested in being good or even being right; they just want to win. Aziraphale is too naive and pure to believe that of Heaven. After everything, he still wants to be an angel, and he still wants to be part of a Heaven that is doing good. What he did at the end of season 2 is not at all out of character for him. It makes perfect sense that he would want to take the opportunity to change Heaven for the better. Anyone can see what a delightful place it would be with Aziraphale making the decisions. Angels could drink hot chocolate and stack books in their offices or pop down to Earth to go to the theater. Humans could live without worrying about Armageddon or the Great Plan or having their lives destroyed over a bet. And demons (or at least one specific one) who were good and loving could be forgiven and become angels again so they don’t have to be forced to carry out evil acts and always be looking over their shoulders. 

Aziraphale didn’t do what he did because he doesn’t accept or love who Crowley is. He just genuinely believes that Crowley is still an angel deep down and that Heaven is where he belongs, where he could be the most happy. A better Heaven, where Crowley could create stars to last millions of years and put anything he wanted in the suggestion box. Aziraphale wanted to create a life for them to be together without any more worry of secret meetings, gray areas, and war. When Crowley rejected that life, it broke Aziraphale’s view of Crowley and his goodness. As ridiculous as it sounds, Aziraphale never expected that Crowley wouldn’t jump at the chance to be an angel with him again, and now his perception of their relationship is shaken. 

Ultimately, Aziraphale can’t be so selfish as to choose to run away with the being he loves, when he knows he can do so much more good if he returns to Heaven. And so in trying to do the right thing for everyone, Aziraphale does the wrong thing for Crowley and himself. This is what is so hard about Aziraphale’s gray area; it cuts both ways. He has so much learning and unpacking to do, and I’m afraid he’s going to find that he will have much less power to change Heaven than he thought. All we can do is beg for a third season and then Wait and See.

#just my thoughts #writing this to try to heal myself after the finale #tv review #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #gos2spoilers #gos2 spoilers #aziraphale #michael sheen #religious trauma #exvangelical #character study

[holysaintscathedral]

To be honest, part of the reason I've been able to heal from my religious trauma is because of kink and being able to approach religious subjects through that outlet without getting deeply fucking triggered. The anti-kink/BDSM and sex negative crowds can die mad about it for all I care

#hierophilia #priest kink #religious trauma #sorry not sorry sexuality and embracing that can be healing and freeing for many #i know myself well enough and what my triggers are and kinky rp involving priests and religious themes is NOT one of them #pro kink

[sp00pypumpkins]

Got busy this weekend and couldnt draw much so today I did this silly thing :3

Something sweet about the Prototype qwq I find it endearing those two would get so happy when the prototype is near while other toys would feel intimidated by them XD I will make more silly doodles about why Zero thinks so high of the Prototype in the future :D

Au by @asamary You should check their stuff :D!

Also Zero chirps when they are very happy (The only one who got to hear them is 1006 till now, Zero is a bit embarrased because he cannot control it but with 1006 he lowers his guard but also acts childish around him too HAHA)

#poppy playtime #catnap #sweet home au #poppy playtime sweet home #prototype #poppy playtime 1006 #oc Zero Signal #poppy playtime oc #my art #I wanna put on a comic how zero little by little they managed and healed about their fear of other people and stopped being extremely #dependant of the prototype. like imagine he made chaos is hospitals or any other place cuz he would wake up from nigthmares of being back #and wouldnt be able to differenciate reality from the nightmare and would stop only by shutting himself in a room/closet or the prototype #assured him its okay then while healing the prototype made catnap one of his most loyal followers to met zero since he is very calm and #chill but funnily enough i like to think catnap just went. “im their favorite” and started picking a fight in wich zero got frustrate and #they ended up fighting and making zero come out of his shell a bit (the prototype totally knew it would help probably HAHA) #and catnap being unable to use the gas because kaboom with electricity HAHAH #in the end both got scolded zero should know better cuz oldest of the two and catnap for picking a fight HJAHA #also zero calls him my lord in a non religious way but more in like how a servant would call a duke or nobility kings etc #the prototype collecting kids with trauma like pokemon card

[whoblewboobear]

I will be DELIGHTED if Ankarna’s return weakens the chokehold that Sol has on solace. The allegory for evangelical Christianity being weakened would mean so much to meeeee

#the way this season has me thinking more about religion in a healthier way despite all the hurt and damage it’s done means so much to me #religious trauma is like so deeply ingrained in me but religion as a whole can be really beautiful if practiced without capitalism and fear #Ally and Brennan I love you yall are healing my perspective on religion #dimension 20 #fhjy

[maddonasarts]

"I'm the One who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." - Castiel

Happy September 18th everyone!!! 15 years ago we got this amazing character!

#I tried to heal my religious trauma with this #supernatural #spn #spn fanart #september 18th 2008 #destiel #castiel #15th years of Castiel #dean #dean winchester #spn 04x01 #lazarus rising #i was the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition #misha collins #jensen ackles #anti ai #no ai art

[fire-to-fire]

I think it’s super important for everyone to deconstruct their religious beliefs, whether they’re leaving it/have left it or not.

Questioning why you believe what you believe or why you believed what you believed is good for growth- no matter where it ends up taking you.

#religious deconstruction #ex religious #religious trauma #I think it can be very healing for ex religious people tbh #but that’s just my experience #ex christian #apostate #ex fundamentalist #ex fundie

[mcnuggyy]

went to church w my baby cousin and when the priest got up from his big chair w his big robes he pulled me down to his level and then whispered in my ear “is he the king?” and it was so hard not to laugh but I told him no that’s the priest, and he was like “oh…” with the most disappointed look on his face 😭 I love him so much

#I SHOULD HAVE SAID YES FOR THE FUN OF IT #but he was genuinly curious and even said he wanted to bring Jesus a flower from my moms garden #it was very cute #nuggyy txt #I think Jesus is like spider man to him at this age… he will say things like wow Jesus is so cool and I can’t wait to see him today #like 😭 #he is single handedly healing my religious trauma thank u jr

[connieaaa]

Excuse me, my inner child is in an absolute rage and throwing things again...

#children #cptsdsurvivor #dysfunctional family #dysfunctional parents #ex fundamentalist #religious trauma #narcissist parents #bad parenting #actually autism #ex christian #ex fundie #stress #structural dissociation #adhd #inner child healing #inner child #my inner demons #inner life #not physically #overly emotional #emotional regulation #did #ifs #internal family systems #intergenerational trauma

[catwouthats]

OK, but can I talk about how Good Omens 2 took the quote/verse “It is easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle that is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God” and just DESTROYED it?

Like that healed SO MUCH of my religious trauma

(Spoilers bellow)

The story of the resurrectionists where they’re digging up the bodies, and how her being poor made her do these terrible things… Aziraphale thought it was a good thing being poor, but here she was at the bottom doing “evil”. And then she lost the one thing she was living for, her friend, and so she needed money in order to enter the kingdom of heaven because the heaven she made with her friend was destroyed.

And then there’s the story of Job. He, for no reason, had everything taken away from him. And it almost destroyed his wife’s faith, and it almost destroyed him, and they were about to be really mad about not having their original children. They probably would’ve gone against heaven, but love is their heaven and love is where their family is so in the end they were happy.

And then with ineffable bureaucracy. They had the taste of the most powerful positions in all of heaven, Earth, and Hell. And they gave that up because their love was more than a heaven (or hell) to them. It’s because they tasted power that they realized it was meaningless compared to love.

And it’s only because of “evil” that any of them survived this long, they all broke and bent the rules (or had them broke/bent for them) because they realized that bending/breaking the rules was actually the least harmful outcome. And the most Heavenly (at least to them. And that’s all that matters.)

And when good tries to do good and evil tries to do evil, they both fail. As seen with Armageddon.  As seen with the story of Job (how heaven almost let them kill). As seen with the naazi zombies.

Emotion and love wins in the end, for both season 1 and 2.

#I love Good Omens so much #the attention to detail #is just mwah #chef’s kiss #neil gaiman #is single handedly healing my religious trauma #thank you neil gaiman #good omens #good omens 2 #gos2 spoilers #gos2 #good omens the resurrectionists #good omens job #ineffable bureaucracy

[evermorecountsastherapy]

adding Girls Against God by Florence + The Machine to a Gale playlist is the both the angstiest and cuntiest thing a girl can do. that's just how it is. I don't make the rules

#florence to heal your religious trauma amirite #no but seriously Gale would love Dance Fever lets be real here #giving him my noise-canceling headphones and a big hug cause he's gonna need both #he's so bbg #so very normal about that wizard man 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️ #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios

[coffeexxcigarettes]

False God

-

If I burn down the chapel,

Where will they worship you?

Will the bricks fall with elegance,

Or crash to the ground with rage?

To think of the promises that left your lips

To capture me,

Lock me within the attic,

Strip me of the light and laughter

That drew you to me-

Will you fall with honor?

With respect for what you say we've built?

The manipulation replacing oxygen

In my bloodstream-

The sweet moments,

I can count on one hand,

Look me in my eyes-

The eyes you fought to smother,

The fire you said you love but kept

Hidden away, in the dark-

Will you fall with some fucking dignity?

Or was that a lie too?

x

#writing #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #poem #spilled thoughts #heartbreak #sad thoughts #lovesick #mental health #original poem #original writing #poems #poetry #poetsandwriters #poets of tumblr #prose poetry #prose #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr #religious trauma #toxic relationship #healing #tumblr writers #writers of tumblr #poem of the night #you never loved me #you hate me #and that's okay #but admit it

[gunpowder-gemini]

FINALLY have wrestled my brain into sitting down and watching Good Omens and it is, in fact, very good!! Incredibly good!! Absolutely in love with it ♥️♥️♥️

It does, however, hurt terribly

#as a queer with hella religious trauma fucking OW 😭😭😭 #Aziraphale is exactly who I used to be #and Crowly is so much like who I am now #'I only ever asked questions' yeah me too 😭 #i really thought i'd kinda made peace with my religious trauma but it turns out i very much have not 🙃🙃🙃🙃 #i'm like 2 eps into season 2 currently but i do know generally what happens and I DO know how it ends #and it breaks my fucking heart bc I'm going to be so upset with Aziraphale but I'm gonna understand him better than I want to #bc fuck if I didn't think I could fix heaven once #i really hope that when that line of thinking comes crashing down around him spectacularly #it doesn't do so in a way that kills any hope and makes him act apathetic as a defense mechanism to pretend it doesn't hurt #bc Crowley and I are already here and I want Aziraphale to avoid that #and it sucks and Aziraphale is too good to end up like this I want him to be ok 🥺 #Crowley was too good to end up like this too but he's already here so I just hope he can heal better than I apparently haven't #idk I'm in love with this show and these middle-aged gay men but I'm also incredibly fucking triggered lmao #like ow mr gaiman good job but also kinda fuck you but also please I'm trusting you to give this a good end