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growingupmormon · an hour ago
My dad’s bookshelf in his office
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Bibles, mormon literature, artist’s way and the best of the best Everything I need to know I learned from John Wayne
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andromedaslover · 8 hours ago
so when i was young (i cant remember what age, but young enough to where ppl were trying to shield me from reality) someone broke into my church, shattered the windows and spray painted cruel words onto the wall of the nursery and toddler classrooms.
we’ve had a security system since then; i have the key and know the code because my dad is an important member of the church.
i go there, from time to time. never to sermons, or when others are there. i go to the prayer garden i built with my grandma when i was young. to the kitchen i cooked in, feeding a hundred little kids. to the sanctuary i played piano in, sung in, changed lives in.
it feels like a graveyard now.
i watch my younger self move like a ghost, shaking with fear as i crouched in front of the statue of Jesus i had put there, my forehead touching the cold stone where my grandma had painted the words, “Thy will be done.”
the first time i snuck into a storage room and saw the security camera tapes.
banging my head on the wall in the bathroom because i felt so corrupted from the outside world.
drinking stale coffee while i yelled at a kid for making a racist joke.
i left the church soon after that. but i always look back. i am waiting for my hands to turn into a pillar of sand.
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be-ca-lm · 11 hours ago
a therapist told me to pray about it
another one told me to write a letter to god
as if the countless hours i spent, sitting, kneeling, on my back 
furtively whispering, desperately trying to connect
were not enough of a one-sided therapeutic relationship already
i felt tortured praying and ashamed when i was silent
a prayer must be re-prayed if not holy enough
a dozen good prayers may counteract a lackluster one
i cannot sleep, i am late, exhausted
but at least i prayed
the words i wrote in every childhood journal
each one a chapter, an ode to that glimpse in time
the tear splashed pages, the self-deprecation, the pleas to make me
every sermon landed in my heart like a slurry of arrows
every hymn a brief respite, a balm for tormented spirits
every man who bounced his eyes while preaching submission
i was a sheep to the slaughter
i was imperfectly perfect
a captive who flagellates herself is to be praised for her efforts
servant-hearted and a slave to grace
those who are set free into captivity are free indeed
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gay4dajjal · 14 hours ago
just wanna wish all you ex muslim folk out there who are still closeted a happy eid. finally we can rest from this tiring fasting. i hope we can all be free in the future and live however we wish.
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gay4dajjal · 15 hours ago
hey guys what was the best part of leaving islaam for yall? for me it wa sbeing able to listen to music and draw freely without feeling guilty
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gay4dajjal · 15 hours ago
me out here celebrating that ramadan is finally over and i no longer have to starve myself without water for like 12 hours a day anymore aye
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anyways happy eid to all my ex muslim fam i hope we can someday become free and be able to practice our desired relegion or lack of in freedom
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limbo-rock · a day ago
If your existence does not dishonor Jack Chick or any other staunch evangelical, is life even worth living?
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andromedaslover · 2 days ago
“my child is completely fine” bitch your child’s tumblr pfp is the fallen angel painting with a close up of lucifer’s face 
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sarcastic-sayori · 3 days ago
"not a fan of relegion or terfs" i feel that
yeah i don’t mind religious people that aren’t bigoted, but i feel like only people who have grown up in religious homes (that don’t really identify with the religion they were born into) can understand how sinister some things can sound.
especially things to do with god, putting your trust in him and how he sees all, etc.
terfs are just.. an unfortunate reminder of rising transphobia. the fact that they’ll ally themselves with right-wingers shows that many of them only really care about advocating against trans people.
do i sense 😩🥺 a mutual?? 😟😳
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apostate-in-an-alcove · 3 days ago
Don’t let Catholics fool you, you’re not lazy, weak, selfish, a traitor, or destined to be miserable for leaving the Catholic Church, especially if you left due to trauma. Leaving the Church took bravery and integrity to yourself to accomplish. Don't let Catholics determine your worth and character as a person, theirs and their Church's opinions of non-Catholics and apostates are irrelevant. 
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christadelphians · 3 days ago
False Teachers
After the death of Jesus’ apostles, some who claimed to be Christians began to spread false teachings. 29 I know that after my going away oppressive wolves will enter in among you+ and will not treat the flock with tenderness, 30 and from among you yourselves men will rise and speak twisted things to draw away the disciples after themselves.+ (Acts 20:29, 30) These apostates started to blur the…
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religioncanbethis · 3 days ago
part of the downfall of my belief in christianity was my inability to find a genuinely pro-lgbt church. my brother’s church was the one i regularly attended, and only because it was primarily younger people who were more likely to be liberal. and at first, i thought it could work. before i asked about their actual opinions, i thought they genuinely weren’t homophobic. for a period, there was a trans woman at that church. but then i went deeper.... and any comfort i had in that church was gone.
i had chosen to speak to the pastor one on one last year because i was going through a really intense patch with my anxiety, which my parents refuse to let me treat (i am still on their insurance as a student). during our time talking, i mentioned that i didn’t think this church was for me, and that i was more interested in an episcopal church. and rather than just respecting that, he had to ask why. and i wasn’t going to lie to a pastor while i was still a christian, so i told him that it was important to me to got to a lgbt supportive church because “my friends are mostly gay people.” and from there, the conversation turned to how i was “putting my political beliefs before the word of god” and “prioritising other humans over the truth.” and finally, he said what i had been hoping so desperately not to hear: “being gay is a sin, there is no other way to interpret that. people like that need prayer and to be saved from their life of sin.”
and between that, and my own brother parroting the same words back to my face not a week later, i never felt safe in that church again. i was always thinking about how if everyone else in the room knew what i was, they would hate me. they wouldn’t say that, but they would lay hands on me and try to pray away something i had already tried to pray away for years. they would condemn me if i ever got married. i wouldn’t be allowed back in future unless i let them pray for me. they would think i’m a bad influence on their kids and so i wouldn’t be invited to any other events. i would never hear the end of how i’m “living in sin.” i know it, i do.
so i searched for an episcopal church. there were two in my area that were of the queer affirming branch. one was a half hour away, but i could make it work. i tried to visit them, and.... closed for covid. no online stuff because they were run by primarily older folks who don’t know technology. so i gave up. i didn’t go to my brother’s church anymore. the final tipping point was that the day after i tried to visit the second one, i was made to house sit for my parents for a week. i didn’t have people over for fear of covid. so i had a full week with nothing but my thoughts. and i thought. and i thought. and i thought.
and i stopped believing.
i don’t honestly know if i still would be a christian if one or both of those churches was actually open.
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gay4dajjal · 3 days ago
god making me bisexual and an atheist in a muslim household:
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teen-apostate · 4 days ago
not my brother trying to say that the bible doesn’t view women as objects. mfer have you read the damn thing?
- 1 Timothy 2:12: I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.
- Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
- 1 Corinthians 14:34-35: The women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.
Should I go on?
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religioncanbethis · 4 days ago
i wish more christians would admit that god’s love, even at its absolute best, is not unconditional. i mean that factually, not as an angry ex christian. “but all you have to do is believe in god and surrender yourself to him!” those are literally conditions. they are conditions. but maybe christians are able to write this off bc in the end, deep down they don’t view non christians as actual human people so we don’t count. god’s love is unconditional for all his children... and we are not among that group, because we don’t believe.
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religioncanbethis · 4 days ago
one thing that will forever bother me about the original sin is that it was genuinely just a mistake. like eve was literally just naive bc she had only ever talked to god and adam, so ofc she was mislead. and making a decision based off of what you honestly think might be true is just a mistake? she had no malicious intent or anything. i really don’t get it. like humanity is inherently evil for the rest of eternity because.... one fallible human made a mistake? like we are supposed to do in order to learn? :/
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