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whxre-bxby · 11 months

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"Eywa's Will"

Recom Lyle Wainfleet x Recom f. Y/N

Masterlist

Summary: Ever since Y/N and Lyle woke up as recombinants, they felt drawn to one another. Neither of them could explain the feeling until the day they both almost lost each other. It seemed as though Eywa was willing to even save those who once threatened her.

(1K special request from @bluritch)

WARNINGS: (no smut) Angst, fluff, death, blood, near-death experience, forming of tsaheylu

Word Count: 2253

I thought I was on the verge of death once again. My body was soaked in the cold salty water of the ocean that was slowly engulfing the SeaDragon.

The loud noises of screams and shouts have calmed down now. The sun set behind the eclipse and the sky was dark, clouded with the smoke of damaged machines.

I felt alone, clutching onto the soaked vest attached to my body. My body was exhausted and in pain, all I could do was close my eyes and come back to my senses. My lungs hurt and my chest felt heavy after I almost drowned in the water. My mind was a blur, I was incapable of doing much else than staying still. Blood was oozing out of my body, staining my clothes around my ribcage. I don’t remember how I got injured or what caused it. Everything went too fast. All I know is that there used to be more of us, and now it seemed as though I really was alone.

Where Jake went I don’t know, but to be completely honest, I don’t care. If he were in front of me or in sight I would wave it off and let him be, in hopes of him letting me live. But my chances of survival seemed pretty low. I was cold, hurt, and weak. Every part of me was bruised, all my muscles felt strained and my bones ached. So I lay back, letting my dizzy head drop down against the cold and wettened metal of the sinking ship. Hopefully, I die before it submerges me in the water again.

I felt like I was slowly drifting asleep. My eyelids felt heavy and I couldn’t remember the past few minutes. Suddenly, my ears twitched when I heard a loud crash somewhere behind me. However, I didn’t move. It was probably the ship falling apart and my body hurt too much to get up and check.

“Shit!” I heard a distant curse. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and my ears twitched again while I wondered whether I actually heard that or whether I was starting to imagine things. Suddenly, there were fast yet irregular footsteps approaching me.

‘What the fuck?’ I thought, hoping it wouldn’t be Jake or any other Na’vi.

“Y/N?!” the voice called and finally my eyes shot open. I recognised the voice. It called my name again and I turned my head, slowly propping myself up on my elbows.

“Ow- fuck.” I groaned, biting my tongue in pain at the small movements.

Suddenly, a large blue body fell to its knees beside me and a pair of hands gripped my shoulders.

“Are you okay? You hurt? Can you hear me?” It called, pulling me up so that I was sitting upright while the hands examined me and checked for injuries. I hiss in pain, immediately clutching my side and it stops moving me around.

I finally look up and feel a sense of comfort.

“Lyle?” I gasp. Relief floods me when I realise I’m not alone anymore.

“Fuck,” he sighs, running a hand over his face in disbelief. “I thought you were dead.”

I don’t reply. I thought I was going to die, so I don’t know how to respond.

“Show me.” he says, gently pulling up my shirt to see my wound while I raise my arm. His ears pin back when he sees how bad it is.

“Are you hurt?” I ask, but he waves me off in a decline. My eyes scan his body and I can see he isn’t doing much better. He was able to limp to me on his last strength. Cuts and bruises litter his skin and there’s a gory slash along his shoulder.

“You can’t stay here.” he mumbled, but it seems like he said it to himself.

“How did you find me?” I ask him. Before laying down, I knew very well that no one was near because I called out for them and there was no reply. The deck was empty apart from the few dead bodies. Lyle must have literally been searching for me to find me here. I wasn’t exactly out in the open.

He stared at me for a few moments, as if he were unsure of what to say.

“I don’t know,” he said and his voice was slightly softer now. He had a hand placed on my back and it gave me all the comfort and support I needed.

“I just… followed it.”

His words were almost whispered but I caught them just in time.

“Followed what?” I ask again.

He takes a few moments to reply. His slightly saddened eyes are gazing into mine.

“The feeling.”

My strained ears of pain rise briskly as I replay his words in my head.

There was something between us but I never knew what it was. It wasn’t something that worried me, but I noticed it.

Ever since we woke up as recombinants, I felt drawn to Lyle. I found a lot of comfort in him and I used to think it was just because he was a superior. Lyle was our Corporal and had just recently been promoted to a better rank. But we were never friends before. We were friendly, but not close.

Whenever I felt drawn to him, I would sometimes stare. But often, he wouldn’t just stare back, I would catch him staring me down too.

Of course, I thought that he might just find me attractive. He didn’t look too bad himself. However, the longer we felt this way, I discovered that it was deeper. Whenever we were in the same room, I realised that I could feel Lyle. Quite literally feel him. When this happened I would look over at him to find him already looking at me, which made me think there is a small chance he might feel it too. Even at night, when we weren’t around each other, my queue would tingle and suddenly I felt him again. It would scare me and I would flinch in bed, turning on the light to make sure no one was in the room with me, but I was always alone.

Not once did I confront him about it. We had a mission to complete here. This was our job and also quite literally our life purpose now. There was no time to focus on things that could be shrugged off and deemed as Avatar malfunctions.

…

Lyle did in fact feel the same thing Y/N did. Yet he too needed to focus on the mission. He had to be setting an example for the other recoms so he definitely couldn’t let himself be fazed by foreign feelings. Neither of them understood what they were feeling but they seemed to be connected like one would be through tsaheylu, just without the bond.

When the SeaDragon was sinking, Lyle felt weak. But suddenly, that feeling returned and he no longer just felt the pain in his shoulder but he felt it near his ribcage. When he checked for an injury, it wasn’t there.

Then for a reason Lyle wouldn’t be able to explain, he got up and pushed back his own pain. You came to his mind and he was met with the worry of you being hurt or even dead. Without any hesitation, Lyle started to search the ship for you, ignoring the fact that Jake or Neytiri could come to kill him at any moment. He just had to find you and make sure you were alright.

“The feeling…” Lyle said, again.

“You.”

My lips parted and I gasped silently. “You felt it too?”

He nodded and I could sense uncertainty. We knew our Avatars would be drawn to Pandora and with the new body came new feelings that we as humans could never understand.

“Lyle, I-” I say, leaning forward to him before hissing in pain. His hands once again support my weak body and he holds me against him, letting me lean on him.

“Shit.” he curses under his breath again. The blood was now flowing down my stomach and had already covered my arm red. It was colouring the small puddles of water around us red too.

He pressed his palm against my ribcage, applying agonisingly painful pressure to reduce my blood loss. I whine, digging my fingers into his arm and clenching my eyes closed.

Lyle frantically looked around but all the medkits you had were on the already sunken part of the ship. He was afraid that if he would go to fetch them, he would return to you already dead.

“Just hold on, someone’ll come get us.” he said, pressing against me harder when he realises the blood was still leaving my body.

I look up at him and I can tell he doesn’t even believe his own words. No one would come all the way out here for a few Avatars they can make again.

“Lyle, they don’t care about us…” I whisper, staring down at my artificial body.

“Just don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” he says, trying his best to sound reassuring but I know he’s lying to make me feel better. His voice was breaking and his hands trembled, making me hold on to him tighter.

We sat in silence for what felt like a long time to me but must have only been a few minutes. Lyle wrapped his large arms around me and finally, I felt safe again.

My eyelids were growing heavy again but I couldn’t peacefully close them because I was too cold before. Now I was cold too, but it didn’t seem like I was going to sleep. I felt like I wasn’t going to open them ever again.

Lyle must have noticed my sudden stillness. Perhaps my breaths were not as heavy anymore or he couldn’t feel my thudding heartbeat any longer. Either way, he panicked and gently nudged me so that I would open my eyes again.

“Y/N? Come on, stay with me here.” he said, hooking his hands under my arms and pulling me further against his chest. I tried to keep them open, but they kept closing and suddenly I seemed to lose all strength in my limbs. My hands slowly slipped down from Lyle’s arms which really scared him.

He was moving around and doing something while tapping my cheek and lightly shaking me to keep me awake. But I couldn’t anymore. I felt myself fading away and Lyle’s voice and his movements and touch no longer influenced me at all.

Lyle had been fighting the feeling of connection with you this entire time. He had been fighting that, his new body, its longing for Pandora, and he had been fighting Eywa’s will.

Suddenly, many emotions flooded him and they mixed with the worry he had of losing you.

Maybe, finally acknowledging the connection between you two would save you.

Lyle had heard Eywa and this time, he listened to her.

I had lost my senses even if I wasn’t consciously aware of this. Everything had faded and turned dark and my body no longer reacted to touch or the cold.

Just when it seemed that all hope was lost, I saw a white light. My eyes were closed but I saw it, inside. I felt it. Within seconds, my senses returned and I could feel my body again. But this time, I also felt Lyle’s.

My eyes shoot open and I gasp for air. Lyle is hovering above me, cradling my body while his eyes are fixated on my face. He looks relieved.

“Holy shit, it worked.” he whispered as he helped me once again sit up. I guess I must have laid down before.

“What happened?” I ask, quite literally not remembering much. I look around us and notice odd-looking things floating around us. A few of them landed on my body, but they didn't seem threatening. I think Grace once said that they were the seedlings of sacred trees. Pure spirits connected to Eywa.

“The connection. It saved you.” he whispered, and I glanced down into his palm to see he connected our queues. There was a white light in the area where our cords formed the bond and I noticed how both our pupils lightly dilated.

“You formed tsaheylu?” I ask, being able to sit up myself now without feeling much pain. The bleeding surprisingly stopped.

“I didn’t know it worked.” he chuckled, amazed by the power of the bond. I didn’t know either.

I stared down at our braids, enjoying the close feeling I had to him. Lyle brought his hand up and placed it on my cheek. My eyes met his soft gaze and he gave me a faint smile.

“How do you feel?” he asked me. My eyes nervously flicker between the two of his.

“Better.” I breathe out, letting out a gentle chuckle while I still processed what happened.

“You?”

“A lot fuckin’ better.” he replied, grinning happily.

I smile and nod, looking down at the ground.

“Come on,” Lyle said, helping me to my feet after getting up himself. “Let’s get outta here.”

The specks of luminescent light on our skin seemed to glow brighter when we were connected. Maybe there was more to this place than met the eye.

If you would have asked a Na’vi about what was happening to them, they wouldn’t know either because that type of connection was extremely rare. They would just say, that it is Eywa’s will for it to be that way. Eywa knows best, so she must have her reasons to connect them. Even if they are not a part of the life cycle of Pandora. Perhaps, one day they will be…

Tag List: @numarusworld @number1gal @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @jatwow @ikranwings

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alexia-redacted · 2 years

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Talking to Myself

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: R isn’t doing all that well mentally

Summary: you get home after a long mission but it’s not quite how you thought it would be

Words: 733

A/N: based on the song Talking to Myself by Gatlin because @vancityfire13 is a sweetheart and gave me a lil prompt!

The lights of your apartment assault your eyes, its whiteness washing over your tired features most unpleasantly. You grunt as you move through the foyer, hanging your coat and discarding your shoes. Into the living room, you leave your keys on the side table next to your dragon tree.

You’ve been away for four months. That was too long for the poor plant.

That was too long for you.

You’ve missed home.

With one hand, you caress the brown leaves as if an apologetic finger could help it last.

You wish it did.

You turn the lights back off to help your exhausted eyes. You move through the apartment with ease, you know it like the back of your hand and not once do you bump into anything.

You reach your bedroom door with anticipation thrumming in your veins. Natasha lies there and barely spares you a glance, eyes glued on the TV across the room and you’re not offended when you hear her mumble the words of your favourite movie under her breath: “Are you being smart with me? If you’re being smart with me, young lady, you’re going to be punished.” Her eyes land on you expectedly and you chuckle at her playfulness.

“Punished for being smart?”

Her response is lost in her smile, too busy pulling you close to her where you easily settle against her cold chest like you’ve done a hundred times.

Dreamless sleep claims you before the end of the movie.

The next morning finds your body sore and clutching her pillow. You have a hard time getting out of bed but a shower and a worn t-shirt of Natasha’s you’ve washed with her detergent a hundred times remind you that you’re home.

That’s good, home is good.

Breakfast is an easy affair, mostly because you stick to cereal when your girlfriend isn’t home. You didn’t have a choice anyway, it was the only thing left in your cupboards.

With a spoonful in mouth, you let yourself fall onto your couch and by instinct, your index presses the unblinking button of your answering machine. Natasha’s voice echoes against the walls.

“Hey, Y/N, I hope your day is going well. I’ll be home late tonight, but I’ll pick up take out. See you then, baby.”

The click of her hanging up doesn’t have the luxury of sounding very long that you’re already replaying the message.

“Hey, Y/N…”

You press the button, again.

“Hey, Y/N…”

A smile stretches across your lips . “Hey, Nat.”

You finish your meal in silence.

Aimless and waiting, even if you’re not sure what for, you can’t seem to know what to do with your day. Nat is the planner, she is the one to take you on spontaneous adventures when the two of you have some free time.

You just have to stave off boredom for so long, you tell yourself.

Hours roll around and you decide to rewatch Matilda. You missed most of it last night.

It’s not in your recent watch history but a quick search and you’re quoting it like you’ve done a hundred times.

This one feels different, though.

In the quiet moments of your apartment, you wonder what Natasha is up to today.

When dinner time comes and goes, dialling Nat’s number is like second nature.

The ringing pierces your ears and a knowing feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

“Hello?”

“Nat,” you whisper, relief washing over you in one tidal wave that almost drags you to the ocean. “Hi.”

A beat stretches and you imagine her rushing to her office in the compound, closing the door behind her to give you two some privacy.

“Who’s this?”

You laugh at her joke. “This is Y/N, silly.”

“Oh… Y/N, why are you calling?”

“You missed dinner.”

“Hold on.”

You hear her mumble something to someone next to her but you don’t want to eavesdrop, you know she doesn’t like it so instead, you let your eyes wander around your home.

Empty bowls litter the kitchen sink, your shoes are still haphazardly thrown about the entryway and when your attention lands on your beloved dragon tree, your mistake stares right back at you.

Dead leaves cover your dread in a thick blanket. Your emotions try to hide under it but you know you’ll have to face Natasha’s next few words.

“Y/N, we broke up almost a year ago.”

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #natasha x y/n #talking to myself

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valc0 · 2 years

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My two cents on Ncuti Gatwa as the 14th Doctor.

So, I slept on it and watched a couple scenes and another couple interviews and now I feel like I can comment on it.

I'm super excited to see what kind of energy these two will being to the Doctor. I'm so curious to know how RTD will deal with a Doctor without the trauma of the Time War. Ncuti has this very vibrant energy to him wich is still very much feral (like 13s) but totally unique ro him and I can see him work wonderfully in the part. I can't wait to see his Doctor!!! Yes i have fan designs in mind, don't worry, I'm gonna get to them soon sjnsjahsk

Also, hi, that man is beautiful?!? His eyebrows knock me out and he has the fucking kindest eyes. Having a crush on him right now.

Also, he's scottish, which I discovered after he said it and not after listening to him talk, because apparently I got better at accents but that's a lie and I can't make them apart for shit sksksksk.

For the ones asking, yes, I ship 14 with the Master...I litterally ship them in any form, I do not care. God, I hope Dhawan!M gets to meet 14 I will combust and then die.

Finally, I said this already but I deleted it, feeling like explaining myself beter.

For the ones worried the NMDs are gonna take this as a win and claim that "now the Doctor is good again" because the character is being played by a man... I'm afraid you are misinterpreting what these kind of people mean when they say "played by a man". They mean three things, two of which Ncuti is not, and I'm sure they'll keep on attacking the show, saying RTD got woke too, sharing blaring misinformation and fake news, calling it rumors for reputable sources, claiming Ncuti is too young, then too old, then a bad role model for the main audience which, according to these peoples mental age, is toddlers. They are gonna clutch their pearls screaming "what of the children!" trying to convince people they are saying those things for the sake of this good old family show.

It's the main reason why I wish the fandom was unite in our support for the casting, in giving this actor the praise and spotlight he deserves.

Listen, I don't even want to force anyone into keep watching the show if the fact the Doctor insn't played by a woman anymore upsets you, I understand, but please, please, please, don't buy into this bullshit rethoric, don't buy into racism and homophobia and bigotry for what you feel is the sake of representation but is not in these people's mind at all. It's so easy to fall into these traps, but it litterally brings nothing good, not to you, not to the show.

Sorry to end this post on such a bitter note, but I already saw too many of these takes and I'm worried it's only gonna get worse.

That said, I can't wait to see what the future holds...and the future will hold pain the moment I'll have to say goodbye to 13...*cries im the club at the sound of nickleback*

#dw #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #ncuti gatwa #long post

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writingsbychlo · 3 years

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mistletoe magic | stiles stilinski

word count; 10,490

summary; stiles learns that his cute neighbour might be a witch after accidentally getting her spellbooks delivered to him instead.

notes; I know a witch!au isn’t a huge au for stiles, because he’s had evident races of magic throughout the series anyway, but just enjoy it!

warnings; smut, unprotected sex, use of magic

It had been a pretty regular Monday morning for Stiles.

At six sharp, he’d been up and awake, barely functional but stumbling through his apartment and clicking on the coffee machine, before hopping into the shower for a quick wash. When he’d emerged, the machine had just finished grinding, as always, his routine functioning like a well-oiled machine now, and he’d moved it all across into a to-go cup and left it on the counter before going to get dressed.

He’d stumbled around to find his school books and shove them into a bag, eaten two cinnamon pop tarts that had burned the tips of his fingers when he’d grabbed them straight from the toaster, and had still been chewing as he shoved his keys in his pocket and sipped at his coffee, straight into the elevator at twenty to seven.

It was a fifteen-minute walk across campus to his early morning lecture on a Monday, leaving him with a few minutes to spare, in case he saw the sweet older lady from two floors down and wanted to say ‘hi’, or the cute neighbour who lived across the hall that always made him fall over his own feet, or maybe even the kid who delivers newspapers and is always falling off of his bike. He made it on time, took some great notes, and was feeling a little more alive and welcome into his day.

At exactly ten past one, he’d been home, having gone to the library to get some study in and find his new books, and get lunch at the diner he always ate at after classes, a cheeseburger and curly fries, and grabbed his letters and a parcel from the mail slot with his housing number printed on, tucking the package under his arm and heading upstairs and back to his flat, ready to flick through his bills.

All according to plan. One year and four months away at university and he knew every day like he’d been doing it for a decade, so he was only half-way to the kitchen when he remembered the package he was clutching under his arm, coming to a complete halt, throwing the usual assortment of envelopes away to the counter, and producing the neatly wrapped bundle.

He didn’t question it, not even bothering to look at the front, figuring it was just an early delivery on the textbooks that he wasn’t expecting to get here for another three weeks, finger slipping under the folds of the brown paper and tearing it away, fingers dancing over the covers of the books, before his brows were furrowing once again.

These were definitely not his ‘intro to psychological profiling’ textbooks.

Beautiful swirls in gold, carved into dark leather across the front, Latin words he didn’t understand before he was opening the cover, brushing off a layer of dust and letting one brow arch up. The text inside was English - though, no modern - and paper that he was cautious to take care of, simply from what appeared to be the age of it, stained and worn, finger marks clear on the corner from being passed down through generations. It was handwritten, drawings in old ink that had leaked onto the paper a little, rough and coarse, and labelled doodles with names he had never heard of before.

At a glance, he would assume it to be some kind of witchcraft.

He felt on edge, suddenly. He’d left Beacon Hills to come to somewhere that no supernatural would follow, where things like werewolves were still a myth, something to be laughed at, and he swallowed thickly, looking around his apartment as though someone was going to jump out. He loved his friends, he really did, and he didn’t so much mind the supernatural when he was with them all because they protected him, but alone out here, he and his bat didn’t stand a chance.

Now, it was Christmas, he knew this from the poor excuse of a tree up in his living room, and the snow outside, and the fact that for the last six weeks, his usual mochas had been a gingerbread-spiced mocha, on the insistence of the barista who served him whenever he ventured into the little coffee shop joint, and he was growing find of it. So, he tried to be optimistic, in the spirit of festivities and all that, and texted the group chat, waiting to see if any of them had sent him the books as a present, maybe even his father or Melissa. He even texted Parrish.

Except, they all said no, and now, he was stumped. Then, as he was being extra nosey and flicking through the book, he came across a page marked with a small slip of card, the item falling out, and he cursed, having no idea which page it came from, but as he picked up the piece of paper, one of the questions in his puzzle finally gained another piece towards the jigsaw.

‘(Y/N), the spell you’re looking for is here, but be careful, it’s a strong one.’

So, the books are for his hot neighbour, the next number up from his, and it now made sense as to why he had these books - they were a mistake. It opened a new question, however, as to why you would be getting them.

He had absolutely no patience, barley remembering to flick the catch on his door so that he’d be able to get back inside, before he was striding across the hall in one, two steps, and knocking on the wood. He could hear you shuffling around inside, the soft and muffled notes of the classic rock music you’d been listening to getting turned right down to low. It only took you a further few seconds until you were opening the door, but it felt like years to him with his impatience, fingers tapping against the books agitatedly, biting the nail of the other thumb, and his foot was tapping against the floor.

When you opened the door, though, he felt like it was too soon, like he wasn’t prepared for what to say, his breath hitching in his throat as his heart leapt in his chest, eyes sweeping down along your body and widening at your bare legs, only a t-shirt hanging on your frame, rising up to reveal the edge of a pair of white lace panties as you opened the door, and he forced his eyes back up to yours, wincing as he bit down a little too harshly on his nail, and pulled it from his mouth, shaking it as his dropped to his side.

“Hey, neighbour.”

“H-Hi. Hello. Yes, hi.” He already wanted to die a little bit, he hadn't stuttered this much in front of a pretty girl since junior year in high school, even Lydia had lost this effect on him, and college really had been a growing experience for him. He’d had a fair few hook-ups, and experimented, and he wasn’t shy about flirting when he wanted to, but you always through hi right back through loops, like he was still that kid with a buzzcut.

“What can I do for you, four-A?”

“Stiles. My name is Stiles.” He waited for the usual reaction, the cringe, the eyebrows shooting up, the scowl, something to indicate that you had actually heard the pronunciation, but you only smiled a little wider.

“I know. After I introduced myself and you fell over and didn’t give me your name, I checked the mail in your post-slot. I was curious. There was a lot addressed to Mieczysłav, but then one with a handwritten address to Stiles.” You shrugged, leaning against the doorframe, and crossing your arms, and while you might seem casual, at least his degree was coming in useful for something, as your body language read an entirely different reaction, insecurity and worry rolling off of you in invisible waves of tells.

He rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand, laughing slightly. “That sounds like something I would do.”

Silence fell between you both for a second, and he couldn't help but stare, taking in every detail of your face, the way your lower lip was a little reddened, and he figured you must have been nibbling on it while working, and your hair was messy, an attempt to pin it back that seemed to have come loose and entirely ineffective, presumably from dancing, because you looked a little flushed. When you raised your brows at him a little, he realised you were waiting for him to explain himself, why he was on your doorstep, and he flushed with embarrassment shaking his head clear.

“I got your spellbooks by mistake.” He held them out, eyes widening even more, before his jaw was dropping open. “Book. Regular books. Not spell books, because that would imply magic, right? And, that’s dumb. Just regular books. I didn’t look at them, at all, not even a little bit, I promise.”

“You don’t believe in magic, then?” You took them from him, a coy smile on your lips, and you placed them down on the counter beside the door, pushing a bowl of potpourri getting pushed aside, along with your car keys and what looked like an incense burner.

“Do you?”

He was testing the water, seeing where your mind was at, and as a whistling came from your kitchen, you glanced back over to the kettle on the hob, and he thought this conversation might be about to come to an end. “Well, I think there’s always a little magic in life, even if people don’t notice it. You have to believe in magic to be able to see it. It’s like the supernatural that way.”

“And, you believe in the supernatural, huh?” He felt bad for the way he said it, because it was mocking, but he had to be sure that you weren’t messing with him, or spying on him, he had to try and find out who you were, but you only looked away as the whistling got louder, opening the door a little more and waving him inside as you walked away, and he stumbled after you and closed the door before his mind had even caught up with the movement of his feet.

Your apartment was littered with plants. The windowsills were lined with them, all brought green and blooming, even though he was sure it wasn’t the right season, and there was even a set of cactuses along a shelf near the corridor. There was a homey feel to your place, almost earthy, neutral tones and soft accents, a smell that was so calming he felt his own muscles begin to relax, and the music had changed from classic rock to some country song he was sure he’d heard in a movie somewhere but couldn't quite place it, and he followed you to the kitchen.

Rows of cookbooks and recipe folders stacked up on top of a lower cupboard, and he swallowed thickly, averting his gaze from the way your lace panties hugged your ass deliciously as you reached up for a mug, bringing back two, and pouring them both full of the herbal concoction you’d been making. On a mismatching saucer, you offered it to him, and he sniffed it carefully, but remembered his manners, mumbling a ‘thank you’, because his mother raised his right, even if he was a little suspicious of you.

“Relax, Stiles, if I was going to poison you, I wouldn’t be giving you tea made of Valerian and Lemon Balm. Do you want any honey, honey?” You grinned a little at your joke, but he shook his head, watching as you stirred a spoonful of the sticky sweetener into your own, and taking a tentative sip after blowing on the surface. It wasn’t all that bad, he had to admit, and he found his tensions slipping away a little. “It’s for relaxing, and helping with sleep.”

“It’s good.” You smiled, blowing lightly on your own, and he decided that he could busy himself by checking out your posters. An interesting arrangement, one was a band poster, the other was a chart with the phases of the moon, a third with diagrams of plants and little facts underneath, and the fourth, with symbols and drawing he didn’t quite understand. “So, you’re really embracing that whole witch thing, then?”

“Well, seeing as I am a witch, I would think it’s only appropriate.” He tried to hide his grin behind his mug, shaking his head a little, not believing that they really existed, and you didn’t miss the glint in his eyes, clearly, because there was a playful kind of offence flashing across your face. “You can’t tell me you think I’m insane, not when there’s so much of the supernatural all over you, Stiles.”

“The supernatural? Really?”

“So, you’re not the emissary to a pack of werewolves?” You challenged, his jaw dropping at the accuracy of it, and it was your turn to laugh at him. “It’s literally stitched into your aura, I sensed another supernatural the second you walked into the building.”

“I just associate with a lot of ‘em, but I’m not supernatural myself.”

“You sure about that?” He stilled, memories flashing behind his eyes of a time when he once was, and you seemed to pick up on the slightly sour mood he’d taken on, then again, he wasn’t really sure where your abilities lay, being that Scott or Derek would have simply sniffed it out on him. Your hand on his arm snapped him back to the moment, fingers squeezing lightly at his bicep. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“There was a possibility, once, but it’s gone. There’s a dark chapter in my past, and the spark I was told I once had disappeared when I got through it.”

It went quiet again after that, your fingers slipping down from his arm to take his, and you placed your cup down, the steaming brew barely touched, but he followed suit, letting himself be pulled along as you directed him back to the living room. You were distracting him, it was an obvious ploy, but he was excited to learn, and he let the sadness of remembering his possession fade away as the thrill of new knowledge took over. “I can tell you have a lot of questions, so, what do you want to know first?”

He rubbed at his chin, settling down onto the couch at the edge of the room, finding it surprisingly comfortable, and you were busying yourself around him, a little water jug in your hand as you nurtured the abundance of houseplants you owned. “How did you know about my pack? And how much do you know about them?”

“It’s in your aura, I suppose. I can just pick up hints of different things when you’re around. The wolves are obvious, I’ve been around a lot of wolves. I also get death, and I've never met a banshee, but I assume that’s what it is. I knew you were the emissary because you’re the only magic in there, I would sense other traces on you, and there’s something else I can’t quite place.” Your face screwed up a little bit as you thought about it, nose wrinkling adorably before shrugging. “Like a werewolf, but not quite. I can’t get it.”

“She’s a werecoyote.”

You paused your pouring, turning to look at him, eyes flicking lightly around his being, before smiling slightly to yourself, and going back to your task. “Huh. Interesting.”

“Have you been a witch your whole life?”

“Since the day I was born, but I didn’t know or start practising until I was older. It just kinda’ happens, comes out of nowhere at a certain age, you start to realise you have abilities.” You had moved onto using a dropper to give little drips of water to cacti and succulents, standing on a small step stool as you did.

“Do you have to go to a school, like Harry Potter? Do you have a wand?”

You laughed at that, a genuine and hearty laugh, and you finished up your tasks, legs folding underneath yourself and you smirked a little at him as you sat down and got comfortable. “You wish, Stilinski. It’s not like that, it's more of an earthly connection than magic. It’s why my plants are so healthy. I can brew stuff, make little potions-” You motioned a hand over the jars lining the shelves on the walls, his eyes scanning over each one, picking out the neatly written titles across the fronts. “-I can cast very light spells, but it’s not the sort of thing where you can curse people, or teleport.”

“So, you can’t curse people to turn into frogs?”

“No, unfortunately not.” He was sure your giggle was the sweetest he’d ever heard, and he dared to twist himself around a little more, inching slightly closer to you across the couch. “I can do some stuff, like make your skin break out or give you a rash that won’t go away until I let it, and I can even give you headaches and such, but I don’t like to dabble in that sort of stuff. I much prefer protection charms.”

“Protection charms?” His heart skipped a little beat at the way your face lit up as you nodded, and he was intrigued, interest piqued. “I could use one of those, y’know, I’m incredibly clumsy and often get into supernatural trouble when I’m home. Hasn’t been so bad since I got here. Will you make me one?”

Your eyes left him, bottom lip nibbled between your teeth, and for a second he had worried he’d messed up, unsure on how witch spellcasting etiquette worked, but then you were moving across the room, opening up the cabinet on the other side of the room, and inside the doors and wooden frame hung what must be close to a thirty different decorative charms. Some were dreamcatchers or garlands hanging on the inside of the door, others were handcrafted little ornaments sitting on the shelves and filling them up, and your fingers were flittering over them all.

When you found what you were looking for, you lifted it out, a dream catcher that was bright and colourful and a little odd-looking, before bringing it back over to him, and presenting him with it cautiously. “You already made me one?”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t let the cute guy from across the hall get any more injuries. I watched you fall over five times in your first week living here. You’re really clumsy.”

He felt heat rush to his cheeks, and yet he couldn't help the goofy grin that travelled across his features, not mentioning the fact that he noticed you sitting considerably closer to home when you took your seat once again. He was embarrassed for two reasons, the first being that you had noticed his innate penchant for ridiculous injuries, but more overwhelmingly, the second being that you still thought he was cute. College might have helped him bloom a little, but when he had a crush, he was still a bumbling mess, and he didn’t know quite how to respond.

He busied himself with taking in the details of the dreamcatcher. Somehow, despite this being the first real conversation that the two of you had ever had, passing and fleeting chats in the halls and elevator not counting, you had managed to capture his entire essence, he could already tell. The strings were made of wool, chunky and all different colours, a mix of yellows and blues, woven in together and tangled in strange patterns, but beautiful nonetheless, and the little accents were what made it complete.

A button that had fallen off of one of his flannels, he recognised the distinctive wooden piece, and it was woven into the design, along with a blue ribbon in the same colour of the jeep that was tied in a bow, and a wooden twig tangled in it. Dangling on more pieces of wool from the bottom was a keyring he was sure he’d lost after leaving it downstairs overnight, the Yoda on it looking cleaner than he remembered, and you must've cleaned it. There was also a black feather, and a sprig of some kind of dried herb that he didn't recognise, but enjoyed the smell anyway.

It was intricate and personal, and he felt chuffed just to know that you’d made one for him, a little security and peace washing over him to know that someone was out here looking after him, completely unmaliciously, simply because you wanted to.

“This is incredible.” You let out a breath of relief, he recognised it in the way your body slumped a little, and he placed it down carefully on the coffee table beside you both, reaching out to take your hand in his, and daring to lace your fingers together and squeeze in gratitude, and you held onto him yourself, gaze dropping down to your connected hands. In a bold move of your own, you lifted your other hand, holding onto his with both of yours, and his thumb lifted out to brush lightly over your skin. “You’re the reason I don’t get papercuts and splinters anymore.”

“And you are very welcome for that.” You teased him back, and an easy kind of harmony fell between you both, your presence being more comfortable simply having only just really begun to meet you than he ever had been with someone new. It was strange, to feel so relaxed and at home with you, the way you put his fears at ease and soothed every worry without even trying, making him feel welcome and accepted, like he’d known you for years, not just shy of an hour. “Will you tell me about your pack?”

“You really want to know?” He couldn’t mask his surprise, and you nodded, excitement gleaming in your eyes, and he felt a surge of pride swell up in his system at the idea of getting to boast about his friends completely honestly for the first time in his life. There was no threat, he wasn’t showing off their skills as a way to try and ward off a threat or intimidate someone, but he simply wanted everyone else to be as awed by them as he was, and he didn’t have to hide any supernatural secrets from you. “Shall I start at the beginning?”

“Is it a long story?”

“Very long.” He confirmed, a shy laugh leaving you, before you were shifting again.

“How about I go and make us some fresh tea, then?” You were on your feet, wandering away to the kitchen as soon as he’d offered his affirmations of the idea, and he decided to follow after you, already beginning to blather about Peter Hale.

Hours seemed to pass by, as he spoke to you, two more pots of tea being made, and you’d broken out your snack-store for him, before the two of you had ordered pizza. He’d made himself at home, too, keys and phone sitting abandoned on the table, shoes kicked off on the floor, and feet stretched out along the couch. You were sitting at the opposite end, your legs stretched out in his direction, and one of his hands was sitting on your ankle, fingers drawing patterns on the soft skin there absentmindedly as his other hand was used to gesture wildly around himself.

He told you it all, confessing right from the beginning as he encountered Derek Hale, who liked to lurk in the woods, which had made you crack up as he told you about how the man was basically now the alpha, even if Scott was officially the alpha, and he’d told you about Jackson’s kanima phase, which had made you crack up even more as you claimed he deserved it.

You’d been shocked by his homicidal English teacher, and comforted him when he spilled his heart to you over the nogitsune incident he hated to think about, accepting your hush happily, and revelling in the smell of your hair when you’d pressed in close to him, before retreating to your seat.

He told you all about the benefactor and the dread doctors, and about Allison’s death, which he still blamed himself for when he was on a low day, and you’d used your thumb to clear away the tear that had fallen from his cheek, leaving him blushing and breathless for a second when you’d pressed a light kiss to his cheekbone just after.

You had scooted closer to him and stayed there near the end of his tales, tucked under his arm, playing with his fingers over your shoulders as he rambled about how alone he’d felt while taken by the Wild Hunt, thoughts that he’d always kept locked up in his own mind, never having shared with another person before.

“You really got the short end of the ‘supernatural encounters’ stick then, huh?”

“Oh, sweetheart, that is the understatement of the century.” You lifted your head from his shoulder, your feet nudging together on the coffee table, the reindeer themed fluffy socks on your feet playing with the patchy and worn door knitted socks he’d had for years, worn to keep warm during the winter, even though your apartment was nice and toasty, the heaters running and the radiators on, and it was much cosier than his place had ever been.

The Christmas lights on a timer had come on, flickering around the place once the light had started fading, hours flashing by in the blink of an eye, a hazy glow cast over the apartment and creating a whole new range of shadows. “Do you want me to make charms for your friends?”

He watched you for a moment longer, trying to discern whether you were serious, and when he caught no gesture of ill-will, or hesitation, or hidden-motives, he smiled. “You’d do that?”

“Seems like you all need it.”

He shrugged a little, smiling when you rested your forehead against his, fingers playing together still, but feet stilling in their game of footsie. “I can’t believe I waited this long to get to know you. You’re, like, the coolest chick I’ve ever met.”

His eyes fluttered closed, he couldn't’ help it, noses bumping together as you both simply drowned in the moment, in what the moment was leading up to, where you both knew this was going but were revelling in the simple but exhilarating tension that was crackling with electricity in the millimetres of space between your lips and his. You were so close to him that he could feel it more than hear it when you whispered some words he didn’t quite understand, your breath fanning over his face in a dreamy sigh, and it took his hazed brain a second to catch up, before he was pulling back just enough to catch your eyes, one hand coming up to rest over your cheek as he turned to face you fully.

“Oh, my God. Did you just cast a spell?”

“Look up.” He was hesitant to pull back much further, but did so anyway, and he chuckled slightly as he spotted the little green plant beginning to sprout from the ceiling. Vines were still strengthening along the beam, and the leaves were beginning to form right before his eyes, white berries hanging between the green stems, and Stiles shook his head, in complete awe as he looked at it.

You were staring up to, eyes focused on the plant as it bloomed and he assumed you were concentrating on its development, but he couldn't hold back anymore, two hands on your cheeks, pulling your face back to his, and your lips barely parted to speak before his mouth was colliding with your own. A squeak left you, and he wanted to grin at being able illicit such a sound from you, but the temptation to kiss was just enough for him to contain himself. When your mind finally caught up, you were kissing him back just as eagerly, a soft sigh leaving you. “You are fucking adorable.”

The words were whispered into your mouth, he felt you shake with a soft laugh under his hold, before you were holding onto him just as tightly in return. One of your hands wrapped around his wrists, the other sliding over his bicep to his shoulder, before slipping down underneath, and smoothing over the front of his chest. He puffed out a little under your touch, pulling away for a quick breath, groaning slightly at the way your nails dug into his skin as he did, and then, he was diving right back into you.

Your hand slipped down to rest over his heart, the organ thudding under your hand, and he felt like it was going to burst right out of his chest, but as he pressed a little further into you, a shock like an electrocution was racing right through his body, a kind of jolt that was thoroughly exhilarating, and he pulled away, eyes wide as he stared at you.

You looked just as shocked as he expected he did too, his hands dropped down as he watched sparks and electricity crackle between your fingers and his, your brows raising at him. “Thought you said you had no magic left after.. y’know..”

He couldn’t drag his eyes away from it, your fingers weaving with his, a loud snapping sounding as a particularly bright flare went off, and he flinched a little, jaw dropping and a whine slipping from him as you contained it all the sight disappeared before his eyes. “So, there really are sparks flying between us, huh?”

He regretted the words the moment he’d said them, expecting to see on your face the same kind he’d always gotten from Malia or Lydia when he made those kinds of cheesy puns that only he enjoyed, even Scott daring to fix him with a bored or blank look, and Derek would simply glare, but much to his surprise, you laughed. It was fond, with a roll of your eyes and a huff to preempt it, but you laughed nonetheless, and he felt himself somehow manage to brighten even further. “That was cheesy.”

“I know.” He beamed, shifting a little, hands sinking down to your hips to pull you closer to himself as he settled back into the couch, and your hand pressed to the cushions beside his head, the other one coming up to weave into his hair lightly.

“I loved it. I am quite a fan of puns.”

“That’s good, because I usually have a lot of them.” He leaned up, daring himself to be bold enough to close that gap once again, and he could feel your lashes tickling his cheeks as you nuzzled into him a little more. “If I kiss you again, will those sparks happen this time, too?”

“If I stop controlling it, they will.”

“Stop controlling it, sweetheart.” He felt you move to nod your affirmations, but dipped his head in time, proud of his own reflexes as he caught your lips, feeling the hand in his hair tighten, and he was so glad he’d decided to grow it out all those years ago, because right now, he was losing all sense of himself in the way your nails would scratch across his scalp, or the delicious burning that flared over his skin for a split second when you pulled on his hair, before you were rubbing it softly, fingers working in tandem timing with your lips, teasing over his own.

That same feeling took up, a sparking that felt like fireworks, like energy surging through him, escaping at his fingertips in every place that he touched you, one palm smoothing along your back to somewhere that was definitely too lose to be respectable, as the other held onto your cheek still. You were taking control, your tongue darting out to trace over his lower lip, bribing him to part them but he needed no convincing, letting your tongue meet his own only a second after you’d made the request, equally breathy and needy noises escaping you both at the slow and wet drag of the muscles over one another.

His lungs were burning, lips beginning to sting as his assault on your mouth continued, his neck straining to hold this angle, and yet the more you kissed him, the more that the hazy feeling of getting to be with you like this raced through his body was the more he became addicted to needing more, chasing a high that he didn’t even know he wanted until now, like an addict finding his next hit.

You seemed to pick up on it all, as though you’d read all of his thoughts, because the second he’d had the lingering thoughts, you were settling yourself across his lap, a leg on either side of his own as you seated yourself down, and he couldn't help the way his hips bucked up a little to meet you, or the way his hand slid down fully to rest on your ass.

After all, as much as he’d gone through the make him grow up emotionally, physically he was still a horny-teen college boy, and you were one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, sitting half-naked in his lap and sucking on his lower lap while doing something with your tongue that was making him feel like he couldn't even breathe properly for how aroused he was.

Maybe you could feel the growing erection underneath of you, maybe you couldn't, but he’d stopped caring about being embarrassed around you about three hours ago when he’d had to tell you all about the time he’d once dropped a condom in Coach’s class in front of the entire classroom, and you’d laughed so much your face had gone red and you’d hidden it form him by pressing into his shoulder.

You were something he felt like he was dreaming up, like any moment now he’d wake up in a small puddle of his own drool with his face pressed into the desk of his lecture hall, the lights turned out and another note left by his kind professor to get more sleep at home, and to lock up when he left, before you were giggling a little at him, pulling away and stealing a few more pecks as you did, and he wondered if you really could read his mind, heat flushing his cheeks.

“Are you reading my mind or something?”

He felt stupid even as he mumbled te words, especially when it only seemed to heighten your entertainment, but you shook your head. “I can’t read your mind, I can just kinda’ sense your mood, I guess. It’s the connection, you were clearly thinking something funny, and I don’t know what it was, but I got a sudden rush of amusement.”

“That’s pretty fucking incredible.” He whispered, letting you peck his mouth a few more times, simply sitting there with puckered lips as he tried not to smile too much, before he was tucking hair away behind your ears and finally you were opening your eyes, and at this point, he really should learn to stop being surprised by new developments with you. “Holy shit, your eyes are glowing!”

“So are yours.” You winked, the bright purple being a shade that was so captivating and beautiful on you that he couldn’t look away, even when you leaned away from him to grab his phone, raising it up to snap a picture for him, and forcing his gaze down to it. Much like you’d said, his eyes were beginning to hint in with a faint purple, the neon shading beginning to drip into his irises and take over from the usual golden-brown that resided there. “You never made out with another witch before?”

He pinched at your ass for your cheeky comment, taking his phone and throwing it away to the side, grinning when you yelped at his painless attack. “I didn’t even know witches really existed before today. Besides, what makes you think I'm one? I had a spark once, but as I said, that died out. Nothing truly magical.”

“I don’t know, you’re having a pretty strong connection with me right now, aren’t you?” Your arms looped around his neck, snuggling in a little closer to him, and he bit back a groan as you shuffled in his lap. “I think you’re underestimating yourself, you just don’t know how to tap into your magic, you have to believe in it to see it.”

“You really think so?”

He was vulnerable and he knew it showed, he’d gone his entire life being unsure as to where all his energy and twitching came from, as to why he’d always felt a draw to the earth; the preserve and the woods, and justice and balance, and why he’d somehow fit into a supernatural world with far more elegance and ease than he ever had the normal one, and maybe this was the explanation. “I really do, Stiles.”

“Will you teach me?”

“I would love to.” He pressed a kiss to your jaw, and then to the spot below your ear, before flicking his tongue out a little to drag over the sensitive patch that lay there, before moving down your neck. He didn’t want to mark you without your consent, he wasn’t sure what was going to come of all of this and where it would go, but he was more than happy to lick and bite lightly at your skin, finding the sweet spot that made your hips roll down into his own and a sound of need and desperation to leave you that was like music to his ears, before his hips were bucking up to meet you once again.

“Y’know when you said that you could feel what I was feeling?”

“Uh-huh?” You were distracted, your reply seeming somewhat faded and distant, and he chuckled lightly, before making his way back up to your mouth now that you’d both had a chance to catch your breaths once again.

“Does that mean everything?”

“Are you asking if I know just how much you want to fuck me right now? Because yes, I do know.” He choked a little on his breath, your hand in his hair pulling his head back so that you could meet his gaze, your lower lip held between you teeth, flesh going a darker pink, and he longed to be the one biting that lip for you. “Trust me, the sentiment is returned.”

“It is?”

“Oh, yeah.” He wasn’t used to women being so confident with wanting him, being so unashamed of it, or of even wanting him at all. Most of his hook-ups had been slightly drunk make-outs and sloppy grinding, or booty calls and meetings in closets at parties. He got more action than he ever did in high school, he’d finally grown into his limbs and his looks, but that didn’t take away the surprise that still happened every time someone as pretty as you even offered him the time of day.

“Like, right here? Right now?”

“Been thinking about how much I want to ride you on my couch for like an hour and a half, now.” Stiles couldn’t stop the moan that bubbled up in his throat, lips parting as you ran a finger over his swollen lips, a cheeky glint flashing over purple eyes as you looked at him.

“You might just be perfect for me.”

“I like the sound of that.”

A toothy smile was offered to you, before he was pulling you back in towards him, hands slipping down to lay resting on your thighs as soon as your lips had found his once again. The heat seemed to have passed, and while the kiss was still completely intoxicating, there was something a little more tender about it, too. It wasn’t nearly as rushed and frantic, the sloppy kisses you’d shared as you learned one another’s ticks had passed, and as your lips worked slowly with his own, Stiles found that he much preferred this kind of kiss.

This was the kind of kiss that he could picture himself sharing with you in many settings. A sleepy, early morning kiss, when you were still between the land of consciousness and the realm of unconsciousness. Or, late nights, when he’d fall asleep while studying, and he would let you drag him to his feet and to bed. Or, simply when he would finish a lecture, or get you coffee, or meet you for dinner. The point was, Stiles already knew he wanted to kiss you at all times of the day, and to hold onto you, and to watch you brew little spells at the stove while holding onto you from behind.

Your lips were wet when you pulled away, eyes sparkling as you looked at him, a bright shade of royal purple, like silk and rich violet on flower petals, and you looked utterly ethereal. “Do you have any idea just how beautiful you are?”

“You’re sweet-talking me.” You teased, bumping the tip of your nose against his, and he shook his head.

“No, I’m not, I’m just being honest with you. I’ve been into you for a long time, even if I didn’t quite have my mind in the right place to actually say it.” You huffed out a little laugh, your eyes averting from his own so that you could try and hide your bashful little expression, but he didn’t miss it.

“Well, I’ve been admiring you a little, too. I should’ve had my deliveries sent to you sooner, if I knew it was going to end like this.” As if to punctuate your words, you rolled your hips down into his, reminding him of the solid erection pressing into his jeans, his fingers digging a little firmer into your skin, and he pushed your shirt up higher, the soft cotton of your panties revealed to him.

“These are just fucking sinful. Do you normally wander around your house in underwear and band-tees?” He tugged at it a little, before daring to tuck his hand underneath the fabric, trailing up, and a poorly-concealed groan left him as he found no further obstructions, fingers closing over one of your breasts, squeezing lightly as he palmed at your chest. “Well, clearly not all of your underwear.”

“I tend to, I keep it warm in here, for all the plants.” Your back arched up into his hand, one of your own closing over his outside of your shirt, as your other held onto his shoulder, fingers leaving crescent-moon shaped marks he was sure, and the rocking of your hips into his own only seemed to increase.

“I’d love to see you in one of my flannels sometime, just like this.”

“Give me your shirt and you’ll see it sooner than you think.” You teased, his brows raising, before he was pulling his hands back just long enough to lean into you, stripping the garment off as best as he could, leaving him in a thin black t-shirt as you took the item from him. He wanted to whine out as you stood up, choosing instead to replace the pressure of your core over his with his hand instead, palming at his cock through the thick denim, and you grinned as you watched him, yet he didn’t feel the slightest bit embarrassed.

You stood before him, draping his shirt across his spread knees as he slumped further into the cushions, getting himself comfortable and popping the button on his jeans, swollen lower lip being nibbled as you played with the hem of your shirt. Your hips were swinging to the beat of the song, and then, you raised the garment up and over your head, letting it drop away to the carpet, his jaw dropping as he looked at you.

You picked up his flannel, pulling it up your arms, and leaving it open at the front, just barely covering your tits. You were an angel and also the devil, tempting him to do so many wrong things. Stretching his hands out toward you, he beckoned you back into his lap, an act you were more than happy to take as you bounded over to him, a pep on your few short steps, before you were settling back into his lap.

“Perfect.”

He let his hands find the flaps of the flannel, pulling it open wide enough to be able to admire your tits fully, letting you push your hair back away from your shoulders for his unobstructed view. Sealing one hand around your waist, he dragged you up closer, until you were almost pressed to him fully, before dipping his head down. His tongue dragged over a hardened nipple, taking the taut peak into his mouth and sucking harshly, as your hand wound into his hair. You tugged, roughly, a groan that vibrated along your entire body leaving him and making you shiver, and you made the prettiest little noises above him.

He switches sides, making sure to give the other half of your chest that same kind of attention, leaving wet marks and stinging watches along your skin that would become bright purple marks in the morning to match the colour of your eyes, and he just hoped you kept him around long enough to see them when they did become beautiful and prominent. He wanted to see his good work, he wanted to see the way he got to mark you up and leave his touch all over your body.

“Stiles..”

“I do love how you sound moaning my name, princess, but I’m not sure how much longer I can last when you're making noises like that and grinding yourself all over my cock like this.” You grinned, letting him kiss his way back up your chest and throat until he was taking your lips with his own. Your hands were moving down, tugging at his zipper as far as it would go, hid hips bucking up into his hand as he felt you drag a nail along his covered erection, breathy sounds between you both when you pulled away.

He only had to lift himself up for a moment, before you were tugging at his jeans, helping him to get them just far enough down his thighs for his boxers to be able to follow. His cock was throbbing, painfully hard and desperate for you, leaking precum along his skin, and he gave himself some form of relief. You were watching him, eyes wide as he pumped his length in one hand, the other dipping under your skirt rubbing over your core, and you bundled up your shirt for him.

“Y’know, all those times I thought about us, a quick fuck on your couch wasn’t how I had wanted our first time to be, but then again, I didn’t expect the cute chick across the hall to be a witch, wither, so..”

He used his thumb to drag your panties to the side, your sodden folds revealed to him, and he slipped two fingers into your dripping core with ease. “I’ll let you take it slow next time, I swear, but right now, I’d really like it if you’d fuck me.”

He could only nod, heart skipping a beat at the promise of another time. Your legs shifted, muscles clenching as he forced himself to take his touch away from your core and bringing his fingers up to his mouth, sucking your sweet essence from the thin digits. As you leaned over him, he was sure to line himself up, and then, you were sinking down onto him, your forehead flailing to his as your mouth fell open, his eyes rolling back in his head.

“You’re so fucking big.”

“You’re so fucking tight.” He whispered the words, a little breathless and hanging on the edge of his orgasm already, and you seemed just as close, because as you finally sank all the way down and settled into his lap again, he could feel every pulse within your walls as you hugged around him.

It took him a moment, staving off his climax so that he didn’t come just from getting to feel you like this, and you looped your arms around his neck gently to find your purchase. Your nails were scratching lightly at the hairs at the base of his neck, his flannel once again flapping around you, panties pushed to the side to let him have access to your centre, and it was deliciously filthy.

Once you were settled, you circled your hips, a test movement, pleasure spiking in both of your systems and it felt like the temperature in the room was shooting upwards. Stiles could already feel sweat beginning to bead along his skin in a thin layer, and you pressed yourself in closer to him. Each time you shifted your hips you were moving a little more, every rock of your body into his, you were pulling yourself up just a little higher to be able to drop yourself back down onto his cock, stretching and squeezing around him.

You felt like velvet, slick and warm as you sheathed around him. You were precise and deliberate, and he couldn't help the wonton sounds that were leaving you with every drop down onto his cock, before you were taking him up to see stars every time, leaving the both of you resting in the clouds. Panted breaths, a scream in the back of your throat that tried to break out each time as you gave him broken moans of his name, picking up your pace further and further each time.

Once you were stable above him, you were moving with purpose, fast and quick as you rode him, gaining more confidence each time, and he was gripping you so tightly that there would be fingerprints all over your hips in the morning. He helped you go, lifting you up each time, only to pull you back down into his lap, thrusting up with a weak effort to meet you, but feeling you go wild each time. That same energy was back, crackling with more force, surging through him like nothing he had ever felt.

Stiles was in college, he was away from home and the weight of being the Sheriff’s kid for the first time, and he had experimented. He’d gotten drunk, and high, and hungover, but this was a whole new kind of thrill; it was like lighting up with fireworks and adrenaline all at once, like creating a bond with another person, and a tingling spread throughout his entire body as your magic bonded with his own. He hadn't felt this kind of singing in his blood since the day he’d managed to finish the circle with the mountain ash back when he was only sixteen, or breaking through the wild hunt barrier at almost eighteen.

These kind of thrills were rare for him, but they’d never been this strong, and as the two of you moved as one in the most intimate way that two people could, your mouth coming up to claim his as you silenced yourself and him, growing louder and more desperate as you went, he felt that final high beginning to build.

“‘M so close, honey.” His voice had taken on that same kind of scratchy rasp that he had in the mornings before he even broke into his day, “Oh, God, keep goin’.”

He knew his words were beginning to grow slurred, and he could barely buck his hips up into you. As everything within his body began to light up, he felt like all of his muscles were going lifeless, his body going boneless, because the heat was consuming him. He couldn't hold it back, he’d been waiting for so long to feel you this way, and his lips could barely even move back against your own as he went slack-jawed, exploding within your tight heat.

The send that he was shooting over the edge, you were following right after him, crying out his name into his mouth as you kept going against him, until you couldn't clumping down into his body as you trembled, and Stiles felt as though you’d milked absolutely everything from him that he had to offer. There was a crackling along his skin from everywhere that your fingertips smoothed over, sliding down from his shoulders so that you could press your cheek to the spot instead, fanning breaths rushing over his neck as you tried to catch your breath, racing heart just like his was.

You didn’t even bother to move from him, letting him throb within your walls with each flutter you made and each shift, and if you kept it up, he was sure he’d be ready for a second round, but he wasn’t entirely sure that he had that in him. Resting his head back against the edge of the couch, he let you lift yourself up and off of him finally, your legs shaking as you stood, offering him a weak smile as he took in your through fucked out state, before taking wobbly steps away from him, and disappearing down the hall.

He heard a door close, assuming you’d gone to the bathroom, and he leaned over to the coffee table to snatch up a few tissues, to clean himself up with, before sorting himself out too. He did the bare minimum, not even bothering to do up his jeans once he had them pulled back up, but he stretched out along the length of the couch to lay down, an arm popped under his head, and a little laugh on his lips as he did.

He took a moment to glance around, not missing the way that the plants all seemed to be blooming particularly beautifully, seeming more alive than ever. As he lifted up a hand before his face, rubbing his forefinger and thumb together, a spark travelled between the tips, and he felt a little in awe just at the sight of it.

“It's pretty incredible, right?”

He startled, jumping a little, before turning to look at you and propping himself up on his elbows as you lingered in the doorway. You had changed, your hair pulled back and out of your face, missing a few odd strands and you’d buttoned up his flannel along your body, mismatched and hanging unevenly, but still adorable. You took slower steps over to him, waiting for a second as you stood beside him, before he was lifting his arms and making it clear to you that you could lay with him, a smile gracing both of your faces as you flattened yourself along him, cheek pressed over his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist.

“You like feeling your magic, then?”

He lifted his palm, holding it to yours and admiring the final dying flares he saw, as the energy began to dissipate and absorb into his body and yours fully. “I’m not used to feeling special myself. I’ve always been a behind the scenes, research, kinda’ guy. I’m not used to being one of the main players.”

“Oh, hush. You told me your story, you were most definitely a key player, Stiles.” He shrugged under you, letting you cross your arms over his chest and prop your chin on them.

“Yeah, but I never really felt that way, and now I feel like I have something to offer.”

You leaned in, brushing your lips over his jaw with a sweet kiss, and he felt like he could most definitely get used to this feeling. Can I meet them?”

“My pack?”

You nodded, seeming a little shy now, and joy raced through him at the fact that you saw enough of a future with him to want to meet his friends an get to know them, and to once again be able to be completely open and honest with everyone, never having to hide anything from anyone, and being able to let you fully and wholly into his life. It was a surprise, because the more he’d thought about his future late at night when lying alone in his bed, he was so sure he’d never be able to really settle down, because he could never let someone in on his life in every single way, but with you, that wasn’t a problem.

“I would absolutely love that.”

“Really?” You were studying him carefully, trying to ensure that he was telling the truth, and he gave you the most honey look that he possibly could, before lifting his head to meet your lips as he leaned in.

Soft and delicate, like a kiss that was shared between deep romance and longtime lovers, and he rested a hand on your cheek, holding you to him, and rolling you to the side, to sandwich you between the couch and his body Your thigh came up to rest over his legs, his palm slipping from your face to rest on your leg, drawing patterns on the skin until you pulled away to breathe, lips detaching from his as you whined a little. You stayed close, though, a soft look etched onto your features;

“I just want to meet a few more supernatural people, and get to know others who I don’t have to hide from.”

“Well, you definitely don’t have to hide from them, and you’ll love them, just as much as they’ll love you. We’re a pretty odd group, you’ll fit right in.”

“You’re right about that ‘odd bunch’ thing. I’ve never met a banshee, or a - what did you call it? - werecoyote.” That was an undeniable truth, your head coming back down to rest on his chest as he shrugged, unable to deny that you were right. “Your wolves sound nice, too. All the other wolves I’ve met have been overly territorial and closed off.”

“Well, Derek used to be like that, but we’ve pulled him around a little. He is still broody, though.” You laughed at his joke, a sound that made his heart burst open slightly and bleed with affection, all for you, as you continued to take more and more pieces of his heart with every act, and he was falling in love with you faster than he’d ever known was possible. “Don’t take notice of any of his lurking, by the way, it’s his twisted way of showing concern and care.”

“I’ll remember that, and if I ever catch him hiding behind a tree, I’ll know that it’s real friendship.”

“He does that, I’m serious, don’t underestimate him. I think my dad arrested him for stalking, once.”

“I think your dad would be who I am most scared to meet.” A fond tone in your voice, before he was pressing a kiss to your forehead, humming under his breath.

“He’ll love you the most, don’t worry.”

Silence fell between you both then, and he busied himself with tracing illegible drawings into your skin, simply enjoying feeling so close to you. It was irrationally domestic, and you were the final piece in his college life and college experience that was missing. Despite not being a wolf, he was unequivocally part of a wolf pack, and being surrounded so closely by such a tight-knit group of friends for those years had made him dependent on company and reliability, and he had been feeling so alone since leaving for college.

Scott had Malia, Lydia had rekindled things with Jordan, and even Derek had been (begrudgingly, to begin) hooked up with a deputy by his father, and they’d been on a few dates.

The last time he’d been home, he’d felt like a fifth, seventh, or was it ninth wheel, when Liam and Hayden were taken into account? He had been feeling awfully lonely lately, and he was glad to finally find someone that fit him perfectly, matching him like a glove.

“When I do introduce you to my friends, my pack, y’know, and my dad..”

You lifted your head, a little crease across your cheek from the fold in his shirt, and he rubbed the spot with his thumb gently, an attempt to remove the mark. “Yeah?”

“What should I introduce you as?”

“A witch.” You deadpanned, and he knew immediately that you’d clearly know exactly what he meant, but were playing with him, and he pouted, fixing you with a mock glare, before you were laughing to yourself over your joke, something so undeniably cute that he couldn't even pretend to be mad about it. “What do you want to introduce me as?”

Nudging your jaw a little with his, he puckered his lips, tempting you down to kiss him, and you were more than happy to press a series of sweet and short kisses to his lips. “I’d really like to formally claim you to be my girlfriend?”

He mumbled the words into your mouth, feeling your lips flick up at the edges in a smile as you gave him a kiss that was a little more firm, a little more loving and powerful, before whispering your reply; “Then we’re on the same page, because I’d like to introduce you to my coven back home as my boyfriend.”

“You have a coven?” He pulled back, a gasp of shock, and you giggled at him.

“That I do. Maybe I should tell you about them?”

“You absolutely should.” He insisted, his craving for knowledge taking over, and he couldn't have been more glad to whatever deity was watching over benevolently that he’d taken the choice to stay the first time knowledge had been offered, because it had led him to where he was now.

“It might take all night, maybe you should go and get a change of clothes. Get comfortable.”

“Is that an invitation to stay the night?” You only nodded, letting him roll you back over onto your back as he kissed at your neck. “I’ll buy you take out if you cuddle me later?”

“Cuddling and dinner? Glad I get to call you my boyfriend, now.”

“Not nearly as glad as I am to call you my girlfriend. My little witch.” His lips sealed over yours, silencing your laughs against his mouth as you teased him for the nickname, and he pinched a little at your sides. The mistletoe overhead grew a little more, a few of the berries dropping away and bouncing off of his back as the plant became bolder, just like the rest, that energy beginning to grow once again, as you got lost in each other’s touch.

#stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski x reader smut #stiles stilinski/reader #stiles stilinski/reader smut #stiles stilinski teen wolf #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader #dylan obrien x reader smut #dylan obrien/reader smut #dylan obrien teen wolf #dylan obrien stiles stilinski #dylan o'brien #dylan obrien

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emerald-chaos · 3 years

Text

Daydream

**gif not mine! credit to the owner**

So, I couldn't help myself. This is a continuation of my previous Bucky fic Insomnia because I just really enjoyed the dynamic between Bucky and the reader. I had a lot of fun writing this part and I love building things up between the two of them. If you guys like this or are interested in seeing more - please let me know! I love talking with people and hearing their ideas and such.

Much love xo.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 2079

Warnings: cursing, struggles with mental illness, mentions of sex (nothing entirely explicit but better safe than sorry), alcohol use, and really poorly written jokes lmao

Fingers threaded into hair.

Hot, opened-mouth kisses marking every surface of your neck.

Nails trailing down his back leaving raised, red lines in their wake.

“Oh my god,” you groaned as you let your head fall back and continued to rock your hips into the man in front of you.

Strong hands tighten their hold on your hips, sure to leave purplish-blue bruises for the morning.

“C’mon, baby,” he grunted, face buried in your neck as he helped your body to grind against his, “I got you. Let go, fuck, let go for me.”

A pair of slender fingers snapped in front of your line of sight, tearing you from your daydream and bringing you harshly back to reality.

“Hmm, what was that?” You blinked a few times before you turned your attention to the redhead who you, apparently, had been having a conversation with.

“Are you serious?” She laughed, “I’ve been talking for the past 10 minutes! I looked over and you had that far off, glossy look in your eyes. Not to mention you’re bleeding.”

A hand found its way to your lower lip and you realized she was right. You had been so lost in wet dreamland that you chewed a layer of skin off of your lip. You hoped she didn’t notice the heat rising in your face as you cleared your throat, grabbing a tissue from the coffee table.

“Sorry,” you muttered, pressing the tissue against your injured lip, “guess I got lost in thought.”

“Is it one of those flashbacks again?” She asked kindly, facial expression softening.

You nodded quickly, knowing fully well that the statement was a lie. Your gaze drifted over the woman’s shoulder to the subject of your previous thoughts. It would be easier to explain the common occurrence of your PTSD than it would be to explain that you were reminiscing on the hot, steamy, passionate sex you had the night before.

Bucky was situated across the room, leaning against the counter as he talked to Rogers and Wilson. The unfortunately tight, black, short-sleeve t-shirt he was wearing left nothing to the imagination. It accentuated every muscle of the body you had gotten to know so intimately not more than 10 hours ago. His muscular arms were crossed at his chest and he was sporting his signature scowl. Everything about the sight sent a shiver down your spine. You finally had a taste and you wanted more.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your friend’s voice gained your attention once more.

A small smile found its way to your lips as you met her gaze again. Apart from Bucky, Nat had always been a good trauma buddy of yours. From the beginning she had been someone you felt like you could confide in and someone who would understand your troubles. Sometimes you wondered if a requirement of joining the avengers was to have a fucked up, tragic backstory.

“I’m okay, Nat.” You reassured, “Just got lost in my head again.”

“Whatever you say. Maybe the party tonight will help you get your mind off of things,” She mused as she pushed herself from the couch to stand up. She paused briefly before she turned to you again, “you are coming, right?”

“Yeah,” you snorted, “Tony actually threatened me if I didn’t go this time, so, I guess I have to.”

After the last party you skipped out on, Tony cornered you in the hallway and gave you quite the interrogation. Then he went on a spiel about how staying in your room all day and all night was bad for you and that if he didn’t know better he would think you weren’t appreciative of what he’d done for you and blah, blah, blah. Tony really was a good person underneath all that hair gel. All he wanted was to help you break out of your shell and give you the family he knew you were lacking. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be a pushy asshole.

“Good, I’ll see you there. I’m sure Barnes will too.” A devilish grin painted her lips as she watched your jaw drop. Before you had a chance to say anything she was off down the hallway.

Fuckin’ Natasha.

*******

A pile of clothes littered your bed as you slipped another dress over your form. Not once in your life had you ever been concerned about what you were wearing or what you looked like, but there was something about tonight that made you want to turn heads. Your eyes raked down your figure as you twisted from side to side, admiring the way the black dress hugged your body in all the right places. Not to mention the thigh high slit in the dress showed off probably the only body part you weren’t self-conscious about. Tony, being the theatrical and over the top man he was, once said that you shouldn’t show up to his parties if you weren’t dressed to court a royal or to bring a man to his knees. Guess you were shooting for the latter.

As you put the finishing touches on your look for the evening, you felt that familiar heavy feeling settling into your chest. Your body always had a tendency to go into fight or flight mode when you became too familiar with anything or anyone. It felt like every fiber in your body was screaming for you to retreat into sweats and stay in your room, to not allow yourself this opportunity to enjoy the people you’d grown so close to. You know what happens when you let people in.

Grief, trauma, coping - it made it really difficult to live a “normal” life. Everyday tasks are daunting, it can be next to impossible to have intimate friendships or relationships, and not to mention the intrusive thoughts that infect your mind on a daily, if not hourly, basis. Here you were, the happiest you’d been in years. You were finally in a place where you felt loved, comfortable, safe - and yet your mind was trying to self-sabotage again.

You took a moment to close your eyes and take several deep breaths. When you opened your eyes you locked eyes with your reflection in the mirror and made a pact with the girl staring back at you. The intrusive thoughts and self-doubt couldn’t continue to have a hold over you anymore. You gave yourself a small smirk and nod as you made the decision to throw caution to the wind and give the party a try. What’s the worst that could happen?

*******

Come to find out, the worst that could happen would be your competitive nature overcoming the rational, thinking part of your brain; which in turn would lead you to enter in a drinking contest. Thankfully a small portion of your pink, smooth brain was still functional enough to tell you when you’d reached your limit. Now you sat comfortably on the couch, legs tucked underneath you as you joyfully watched your friends argue.

“Dr. Banner, my friend, you are one of the most intelligent people I know. However, you are wrong.” Thor stated simply as he finished the rest of his drink.

“Thor, for the last time, water is not wet!” Bruce retorted, throwing his hands up in frustration.

You let out a loud snort before thinking, “Oh yeah, water. I should drink some water.”

Your feet planted themselves on the floor and slipped back into your pair of shoes. As you made your way to the kitchen you were pleasantly surprised by your balance and coordination, considering how much alcohol you’d consumed. Seems that drinking with Thor has done wonders for your tolerance.

While you were busy searching the refrigerator for a bottle of water, you were also oblivious to the soft sound of footsteps coming into the kitchen. After retrieving the beverage, you closed the door and turned to leave. Instead, you turned right into the chest of a figure that was definitely not there a moment ago. You yelped as you clutched a hand over your chest dramatically, your face filled with horror as though you’d just come face to face with the grim reaper.

“Jesus Christ, Barnes!” you scolded.

Bucky was holding his abdomen as he leaned back, consumed with laughter at your reaction. You huffed and wanted to be offended, but he looked so damn cute laughing that you couldn’t help but join him. You pushed his chest playfully and grumped as you hopped up to sit on the counter, opening the water to gulp about half of it down. Bucky couldn’t help but grin at your pouty state as he finished up his laughing fit.

“My apologies, sweets. Didn’t realize I’d be makin’ ya scream twice in one day.” He teased, grinning even wider as he did so.

Your jaw dropped at the comment, quickly looking around to make sure no one else was in the kitchen to hear what he had said. After seeing that the coast was clear you kicked your foot at him out of annoyance, only for his metal hand to catch it smoothly. The two of you locked eyes, motionless for a moment before he moved closer, sliding his hand from your ankle to your thigh. In the moment, you damned yourself for choosing this particular dress. The closer he got, the faster your breathing became. The contrast between his cold embrace and your flushed, warm skin sent a shiver down your spine. Abandoning the water bottle, you ran your hands up his abdomen and chest until they rested on his shoulders. Following a small nudge from his knee, you parted your legs to allow him space to stand between them. The heat in your face at an all time high as he pressed his flesh hand to your cheek.

“Haven’t been able to stop thinkin’ about you.” Bucky whispered as he stroked the apple of your cheek with his thumb. Each word that left his lips had you feeling way more intoxicated than any liquor you’d had all night.

As quickly as it started, his touch was gone and his back was turned as he opened the fridge. Before you had a chance to open your mouth to ask what the hell just happened, Tony was entering into the kitchen.

“Well, well, well. Surprised to see you here, Annie.” Tony beamed as he laid eyes on you.

Yes, Tony had nicknamed you after little orphan Annie. Yes, he also referred to himself lovingly as Daddy Warbucks. Yes, any person in their right mind would probably be offended, but you were just fucked up enough that you found it kind of hilarious.

“Wish I could say that it’s a pleasure, Tony.” You grumped back, upset that you’d been cockblocked and by Tony no less.

“Never lose that spunk, kid.” Tony winked as he turned to see Bucky retreating from the fridge with a beer in hand. “Inspector Gadget! Good to see you too.”

As much as you didn’t want to encourage him, you couldn’t help but laugh. Much to your dismay, Bucky simply raised his bottle to Tony as if to say “cheers” and padded out of the kitchen.

“He has such a way with words.” Tony teased as you rolled your eyes.

A sigh left your lips as you slipped off the counter and back onto the floor, muttering a “goodnight” before leaving the kitchen and heading back to your room. Although you wanted nothing more than to find Bucky and finish what he had started in the kitchen, you came to the conclusion that you were probably too drunk and definitely too tired.

Back in the comfort of your bedroom, you went about your normal nighttime routine. As you exited the bathroom, you couldn’t help but notice a piece of paper that had been slipped beneath your door. Grabbing the paper from the floor and plopping back onto your soft mattress, you opened it to read the note that was scribbled in black ink.

Never got the chance to tell you how gorgeous you looked tonight. Gotta say, I’m a big fan of that dress.

Sweet dreams.

- B.

When you finished the note, it felt as though you were floating on cloud 9. Even when you laid your head down and tried to welcome sleep, Bucky’s words were still replaying in your head over and over again - like they were lyrics to your new favorite song.

Turns out you were down for Bucky Barnes, and you were down bad.

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arizona2004 · 3 years

Note

Hey can you please do a azriel x reader where the reader is struggling with bad mental health (maybe an Ed) because I’m struggling myself rn and alsao there’s not enough of them :). I can totally understand if you didn’t feel comfortable doing it

Okay, here it is. Everyone responds to their eating disorders differently, especially depending on the ED and severity of it. I hope this has what you’re looking for, though.

Azriel x reader

Word count: 1499

Warnings: Eating Disorders! The reader struggles with an ED and some depression and anxiety and a little OCD. Please don’t read if you think reading the unhealthy thoughts of someone with an eating disorder may cause you to relapse. It is not healthy to think about food and eating in this manner. Love you all. Don’t forget to eat something and drink some water.

Waking up, I immediately don’t want to get out of bed. I pull the covers over my head, keep my eyes closed, and scrunch my legs up to my chest. When I wake up again, it’s only a little later in the morning. I still don’t want to pull myself out of bed, but I can’t fall back asleep. So I just lay there. Turning to Azriel’s side of the bed, I notice he’s not there. Well, of course not; he’s already left for work. I stare at the spot he usually occupies before finally sitting up and checking the clock. It’s 10 am.

Standing, I wrap my robe around myself and walk out of the room, refusing to look in the mirror. I practice breathing evenly and focus on my routine. I need to eat breakfast. I spend nearly 20 minutes in the kitchen, moving around, deciding what to eat. I’m opening cabinets and closing them, finding nothing satisfactory. Eventually, I decide to make some bacon. The stove is on, and bacon is sizzling. The scent of bacon is wafting toward me, and I feel like being sick. I can’t eat bacon; it’s greasy and fatty. Toast, I think, I’ll make toast. So I put the bread in the toaster and let it cook. It’s only when the toast is cooked that I start thinking about the carbs that go into it. I haven’t been exercising enough recently. I shouldn’t eat so many carbs. I throw the toast out with the bacon and decide to make scrambled eggs instead. Whisking the eggs and milk together, I turn on the stove, letting the skillet heat and butter melt on it. When I turn, bowl in hand, ready to pour it into the skillet, it slips from my hand, spilling all over the floor. Anger and frustration wash over me; I guess I just shouldn’t eat this morning.

After cleaning the mess: doing the dishes that littered the sink and picking up the mess of eggs on the floor, I walk back up to my room. My head is pounding, and everything feels like it's crashing in on me. My heart is racing, and I just want to scream. My mind keeps flashing back to last night. We went out to Ritas, and it was supposed to be fun. But I just had to ruin things for myself. I barely ate. I stopped drinking early into the night. I wish I could have forgone the entire night. I wish Mor wasn’t so perfect. She has curves in all the right places and not a single flaw; I hate her for it, I think. Passing the floor-length mirror in my bedroom, I stop to look at myself. It’s been so long since I’ve looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. Why can't I have a body like Mor or Feyre or Amren?

I sit on the floor, just picking apart all the pieces of myself I hate. Thinking about all the insulting things people have said to me. Tears are streaming out of my eyes until I can’t even see my reflection. I’m clutching my chest as I struggle for air through my sobs. Why? Why? Why?

It’s an hour later, and I’m just lying on the floor of my bedroom, staring at the ceiling. I pushed my earlier hunger away, so I can’t feel it anymore. I wish I couldn’t feel any of it. The tears on my face have dried, and I’m breathing normally again when a small piece of folded paper falls next to me.

The Note reads: Meet me at my office at 11:30?

Azriel. I turn my head to look at the clock hanging on the wall. It’s nearly 11:20: a choked sob leaves my throat. Standing quickly, I rush to the bathroom to put myself together. In 10 minutes, my face is washed, and I’m wearing enough makeup to cover any signs of my tears. And I brushed through my hair and threw on some clothes. Rushing out the door, I head for the House of Wind. In the time it took to get to the door of his office, I’ve done breathing exercises to even out my breaths and slipped on a smile.

Knocking on the door to his office, I peeked my head in. “Hey,” I say, biting my lip.

He looked up to me, a grin spreading across his face and arms opening for me. I walked in, shutting the door behind me, and sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of me. “You smell wonderful, love,” he murmurs against my neck.

“Hmm,” I hum, holding him tight.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asks, pulling back slightly to look at me directly.

“Yeah,” An unconscious fake smile blooms across my face, “why wouldn’t I be?”

He just stares at me for a moment longer, eyebrows bunching, when he asks, “have you eaten today?”

“Yes. Breakfast this morning,” I say, “when I woke to an empty bed,” I try steering the question away from myself.

He knows I’m lying, “are you hungry? We could get lunch.”

“It was a big breakfast, Az,” I say, “I’m not hungry right now.”

He grips my waist and pulls me closer, wrapping his wings around us, “What’d you eat?”

“I made toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon,” It’s not entirely a lie, I think to myself.

He puts his forehead on my shoulder, resting it there for a long few moments, “baby,” he mumbles, “please don’t lie to me. We’ve been through this before: I can help, just talk to me.”

My lips start to quiver, I’ve upset him.

“I’m with you through all the good And the bad,” he says, head still down, “please tell me the truth about how you’re feeling,” he lifts his head to look at me, and the worrying features of his face make me sob again. “Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he consoles, wiping the tears from my face, “deep breaths.”

I take a deep breath in and out, and he does it with me. My tears start to slow, and the shuddering breaths even out. Az is running his hand up and down my spine, soothingly and when I’m ready, I explain everything, “I guess- things started getting bad yesterday. I didn’t really like the way I looked in that dress, and I just felt… off? Gross? I don’t know,” I take another breath in, “then Mor showed up, and she just looked so good in that dress; she’s so beautiful. And she ate and drank so much,” I’m ranting now, “Does she ever gain weight?!” I stop talking, trying to calm myself, and tears well up again, but I push them back. Looking back to Az, I start talking again, “I shouldn’t be jealous. I’m a horrible friend for being mad at her, but I just can’t stand her sometimes. I’m a horrible friend.”

I’m looking down between us now, but Az coaxes me back, “look at me,” he holds my face between his hands and pushes our foreheads together, “You are not a horrible friend. You are wonderful and kind. It’s okay to be jealous. You still love her, and you’re still a good friend. Now, tell me the rest.”

I shake my head holding back my tears, “It’s just the same thing. I just- it’s everything combined. I feel like I ate too much yesterday, and I haven’t worked out regularly this week. Then everything last night. So when I woke up this morning, everything was too much. Seeing myself in the mirror and thinking about how much I don’t deserve you. I’m not pretty enough. It’s all just so much. All at once,” my breaths come unevenly again, and tears are running down my face.

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment; his hands drop from my face and pull me into him. His hands run through my hair, and he just soothes me quietly for a few minutes. When he pulls back to look at me, he says quietly and calmly, “You’re beautiful, love. And I know me telling you that isn’t just gonna take all the bad thoughts and feelings away, but I need you to know: No matter what you see in the mirror or what your mind tells you, you are so beautiful. You have your ‘flaws,’ but that’s okay. You just have to learn to love them the way I do. And I’ll help you with that; I’m here to help.”

I nod, tears still streaming down my face, and lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in and calming myself.

“Can we go eat food now,” he asks quietly. I nod letting myself feel the hunger I pushed aside and relaxed further into his arms. He lifts me with him as he stands and walks us to the kitchen.

#azriel fic #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x reader #acotar fic #a court of thorns and roses #mental heath awareness #azzie

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amethystpath-writes · 3 years

Text

Heart’s Content

NOT A PR0MPT

Hero suffers from anxiety after saving the world from The End which Villain wrought. Villain understands regret and can’t stand himself after seeing this new version of Hero.

******

“I was only trying to draw,” Hero said- whispered. She almost seemed in despair. “I-I pulled a pen out, and I was about to click it, and I saw it.”

“The blood?” Villain asked.

She nodded. Yes, the blood, the blood beneath her nail. She didn’t remember it getting there, didn’t remember how the bright red- now dark- would have come to be. She didn’t cut herself, or anyone else for that matter.

“Did you draw anything?”

“No”- obviously- “there was blood and I stopped.”

Hero’s voice was empty in a way Villain couldn’t think to describe. She almost seemed to exist as a capsule, one whose soul was currently leaking out through a too-large hole. Her soul was escaping fast.

It was just a little blood. Nothing major. It ran a trickle down her neck and into the collar of her shirt, sure, but she wasn’t dying.

“Well, what happened?”

Crickets chirped. Then, “I don’t know.” Broken, confused, sorrowful.

It was a dot. Villain could see the exact spot on Hero’s bare neck where the blood had oozed from. It was probably an old, scarring pimple that she accidentally scratched. “You’re not bleeding out.”

Obviously not. Hero opted not to say it, (1) because it would sound snappy, and (2) she might start sobbing if she tried speaking again. So, instead, she shook her head, agreeing with Villain- that, no, she was not bleeding out.

There was no blood on the paper, or even the pen, which Hero intended to use. “You could still draw if you wanted,” Villain stated, as if Hero was a kid and couldn’t use logic.

Of course! Hero could still draw if she wanted, but did she want to? There was blood beneath her fingernail. There was blood…beneath her fingernail. And she didn’t know when it happened. I thought it’d gotten better.

“Hero, hey.”

A hand landed on Hero’s shoulder. She hummed, her head unmoving.

“Hey, can you tell me what’s going on?” Hero didn’t act like this- never so torn down and beaten by…by nothing. It was a scratched pimple, nothing else. “I want to help.”

He didn’t want to help before. Didn’t want to help when Earth was casually catching on fire and houses were burning down, or when there was all that lightning in the sky, the winds, everything. Anything. Villain wasn’t there for that. Hero was falling apart, then. He should have been there then. What did it matter now if he was present because it was then, not now?

Without another word, Hero pushed her feet against the floor, extended her legs, and pushed her chair back- she didn’t care that the chair hit Villain. Her butt lifted and she scooted to the front of her seat before crossing her arms at the front of her body, clutching the hem of her shirt, and pulling up, up, up until her shirt was turned inside out on her highly outreached arms. “My back,” she said around a sob, “look at it.”

Villain was hesitant- of course, he was- but he stepped up, having been knocked back before, and he did as Hero said. He looked at what he should have been able to consider a blank canvas, an untouched back. But it wasn’t untouched. Little dots- like the one on Hero’s neck littered her skin. One- no two, no three- on her left shoulder. Three times as many on her right shoulder. And her spine- there were at least two dozen speckled about, as if her back was a scatter plot. It wasn’t- at least, it shouldn’t have been.

“I keep doing it,” Hero said, “without even realizing it. I’m- I’ll be doing something and then the next thing I know, I ‘m asking myself why my fingers feel wet. Or I’m wondering why there’s a raindrop running around on me when it’s a cloudless day. I don’t-”

“Come here.” The command was soft, gentle, as if Villain were cooing to a bird, a dove. It was nearly a purr- from a loving cat. He stepped away from Hero, opening his arms in a sort of surrender. Not surrender, no. It was a simple motion that let Hero know he meant no ill-will. Did she believe it?

Hero squinted, for why wouldn’t she suspect? This was Villain, and as she so thoroughly thought before, he was no help before- not when the world was falling apart with himself on it. Why would he care now- now, when everything was just fine, and Hero was the only one suffering the trauma of it all? It made no sense.

“We’re gonna go wash that all off, okay?”

The blood?

“Yes, the blood.”

She didn’t know she said that out loud. Hero was in a daze, a dizzy, somewhat nonexistent daze. The world felt mishappened, altered in some augmented reality. Villain wasn’t actually here, was he? And neither was she. They couldn’t be because the world must have ended. Living was a dream.

“If we wash it away, it’ll be like it never existed, yeah?” Villain would know- he would know what simply erasing something would do. It brought peace of mind, sanity, freedom. Freedom from guilt, from pain, from regret, from feeling.

Swallowing, Hero nodded. Yes, she thought, wash it down the drain. Get rid of it. But it wouldn’t get rid of the scars, not in the same way Villain had gotten rid of his own- though Hero didn’t know about that, about Villain’s ploy of escape.

Villain in the lead, the two walked to Hero’s bathroom, where a faucet was turned on, and the sound of water smacking against the hard surface of the tub was heard like waves crashing against a stone wall. Violent, violent, violent, never-ending.

And then there was stillness, a silence.

And then Hero was being cradled, lowered down into the water. She sighed as the warmth enveloped her, even as her clothes floated about, lifting up in the water, tangling against themselves. Hero was relaxed.

“That’a’girl,” Villain whispered, pushing Hero’s hair back, away from her face (though it floated right back). He placed a hand on her furthest temple, saying, “As one capable of causing pain, I now take it away.” He didn’t have the peace of mind he sought out before, and so it was only with words that he could perform this action. That he could take Hero’s memories- her pain- for himself. “I’m sorry,” he choked, “that I let you suffer like this. I didn’t know The End would be so difficult- not if everyone experienced it together. I didn’t expect you to be the saviour.”

Something sparked in the tips of Villain’s fingers, his hands, arms, shoulders, chest, head. His chin darted to the right and he blinked with the suddenness of Hero’s sad memories, of her poor and endless suffering since that fateful- and yet not so- day.

“I’m sorry,” he said again as her head lifted from the water. “This isn’t the mind you deserved.” With a slowness only caused by rust in a swinging bench, Villain lifted a finger to his mouth, began chewing on its edge, on the hardness of his nails. The feelings he possessed, the ones he stole from Hero just now…they were overwhelming, and Villain didn’t have the energy to place the worry elsewhere. Nowhere beyond the now-jagged tips of his fingers. “Draw, Hero. Draw to your heart’s content, and don’t fear the blood beneath your fingertips.”

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bitsandbobsandstuff · 4 years

Text

Ink on his heart

Summary: Here’s how Bucky Barnes got a haircut and then decided it was about damn time he controlled his own destiny - starting with a bit of ink.

Star Spangled Bingo Square: “A thoughtful gift”

Characters: Bucky Barnes x TattooArtist!Reader

Words: 7,400 Warnings: Tattoo experiences, a couple stories about war. Some swearing. Mostly lots of feels and fluff.

A/N: This one has been in my head a long time, I love tattoos and I love the idea of Bucky getting them! While I desperately wish I could draw the designs in my head, hopefully you get enough of a word picture to imagine. And yes, it is kinda long (I know, I know), but I couldn’t stop myself!

Want to find all my stories? Search #bitsmasterlist or try the link in my bio!

*****

Not that Bucky’s counting, but it’s been three days, 18 hours and 26 minutes and he can’t get over it.

In the damp, chilly hours before dawn, he sits on the floor of the tower living room, watching the marshmallows in his hot chocolate melt in white swirls. Now and then, he lifts his eyes to the windows, finds the faint edges of his reflection in the dark glass, and tilts his head. Tentative fingers scratch through close cropped hair and a slow smile appears. Even now, he expects long strands trailing through his fingers. Believes he can feel the phantom tug of a snarl.

It was just a haircut. What a simple, ordinary thing.

But Bucky Barnes has never been ordinary.

That small act triggered a startling transformation. Decades of heartbreak fell away with that dark hair, revealing the shape of a man he begins to remember, and it makes him think. About small things, about change. About simple acts making an extraordinary difference.

The last haircut Bucky remembers before the beginning of his first ending, was January 1945. The memory came back one evening, of a tent in Austria, the heavy silence of snow drifting down. He remembers Steve with a dull scissors, snipping carefully along his ear, remembers the catch of a knife gently shaving his neck. It was a ritual they shared for years. When pennies were tight and life was tough, they took care of each other.

And then? Then there was after.

After the fall, after capture, after the world went pear-shaped. Hydra wasn’t concerned with the formalities of self-care, a haircut was functional. Sharp scissors biting into his scalp, rough hands tearing his hair, a harsh slap if he considered resisting. Get it done and get it done fast. The Asset has work to do.

He despised those haircuts.

But now, here he is. No more handlers and horrors. No more running. No more hiding. No more ropes dragging him somewhere he doesn’t want to be.

Wresting back his independence was exhilarating.

When Steve had finished this haircut - because Bucky still preferred a Steve Rogers special to anything - he’d dusted off Bucky’s shoulders and waited. Sam stood behind him, and Bucky rolled his eyes, expecting a barrage of sassy comments.

But Sam just ruffled the freshly cut hair and laughed.

“Not bad old man. Still not as handsome as yours truly, but hey - maybe someday.”

Such a simple thing, a haircut.

It makes him wonder what else he might do, just for himself.

Fuzzy and disconnected, an old memory flickers to life. It buzzes in his brain, images and connections filtering through the cracks and Bucky lets out a breathless laugh.

“Yeah,” he murmurs to himself. “Okay.”

He closes his eyes and sips his hot chocolate.

*****

Steve yawns when he answers the door. Blond hair spikes in every direction and he rubs his eyes, looking for all the world like a sleepy, overgrown toddler.

“Hey, man. Everything okay?”

Bucky leans against the doorframe and chews his thumbnail while he gathers his thoughts.

“Sure, just - can I get a favor?”

Bemused, Steve ushers him inside and Bucky plops in the red bean bag chair Steve keeps tucked beside his dresser. Stretching out his legs, he waits for Steve to flop back into bed and snuggle his pillow, before he speaks.

“Remember back in ’37 when we were coming home from that shitty bar in Midtown, and we saw that sailor getting a tattoo?”

Whatever Steve expected, it wasn’t this. It takes him a moment to conjure the image, but when it comes he belts out a laugh.

“That terrified kid gettin’ a big heart on his arm? Looked ready to shit his pants?”

Bucky grins at the memory, a milk-faced kid with hair dark and shiny as an oil-slick.

“Thought he was gonna puke on the guy.”

“Yeah, and didn’t we stand outside that window arguing while you tried to convince me we both needed one? Something about good girls liking bad boys?”

“Hey, I stand by that statement!”

“Oh fuck off, you know exactly what your Ma would’ve said if we’d come home with tattoos.”

“Yeah,” Bucky chuckles. “God, she’d a skinned me alive.”

“Damn straight,” Steve agrees and they fall quiet, momentarily lost in shared memories of a woman with a voice of steel and a heart of gold.

Bucky leans forward and rests his chin on his knee.

“You know, all these years and I’ve never really - done anything like that,” he admits wistfully. “Gotten something done to me, I mean. Something I decided on my own. If that makes sense?”

Controlling his own destiny, choosing to do something by himself, instead of always accepting things done to him - the idea is intoxicating. He remembers the pained grimace on that sailor’s face and he relishes the prospect.

Pain you choose to feel holds a different meaning, than the torture he knows.

“S’never too late, Buck,” Steve says drowsily. “You can do anything you want.”

Bucky contemplates Steve’s words. He can do anything he wants. Heart beating fast, he takes a deep breath.

“So listen, I was thinking -”

*****

For two straight weeks, Steve works on ideas.

The floor of his bedroom is littered with sketches and concepts, crumpled sheets of paper dappled with flowing lines. Finally, after midnight on a dreary Thursday, he knocks on Bucky’s door. The moment it opens, he shoves his tattered leather portfolio in Bucky’s hands.

“So, I guess, uh - here.”

Steve crosses his arms, his toe tapping nervously, and Bucky chokes down a laugh. Some things about Steve Rogers remain comfortingly unchanged. No matter how incredible his work, all confidence seems to evaporate the moment Bucky lays eyes on anything.

—

“Give it back asshole!”

“God dammit Steve, YOU’RE the one who asked me to look!”

“Yeah well, I changed my mind, now give it back!”

—

Bucky remembers laughing while Steve chased him around their apartment. He remembers the neighbors banging on the wall, shouting at them to shut up, and he remembers the smell of their forgotten scrambled eggs burning. But most of all, he remembers that drawing - he tucked that portrait of his mother in his rucksack the day he shipped out and it stayed there, a good luck charm all through the war.

Steve had cried when Bucky told him.

Because Bucky’s opinion was always the one that mattered. Seventy years changes nothing.

Tonight, he opens the leather case, revealing three separate drawings. Outlines of black ink and a rainbow of colors paint over the curves and breaks of a human form and he pores over each page. Each drawing is utterly unique, telling the story of Bucky Barnes in metaphors and moments.

There are no words.

His throat feels suddenly thick, cotton lodged in his windpipe.

“I can redo them,” Steve blurts out. He snatches at the paper, but Bucky spins sideways, blocking the reach.

“The fuck you will. You ain’t touching these,” his voice cracks. Blinking back the flood of emotion, he looks up. “This is - they’re perfect, Steve. Thank you.”

Steve blushes petal pink and coughs to hide his delight. He fails miserably, of course, but that’s one more reason Bucky loves the little punk.

*****

One week later, Bucky stands before a demure brick storefront on a slow Brooklyn side street, the portfolio housing Steve’s three precious drawings clutched tight in a sweaty hand. Glancing at the address in his hand, he looks up to find stenciled letters curving across a glass window.

BROOKLYN INK ESTABLISHED 1973

“Here we go,” he mutters. Before he can lose his nerve, he shoves forward.

Three steps inside the tattoo parlor, he pulls up short.

Wow.

Black iron chandeliers hang from the ceiling, splashing sparkles across plush velvet chairs, rich violet and bright turquoise. The floor is an eclectic mix of reclaimed barn board, full of knots and whorls in every shade of brown. Artwork in black and white frames line the brick wall, tattoo designs, letters and fonts, photos of finished work. The entire space overflows with warmth, and Bucky feels instantly at ease.

The front desk is empty, but he hears someone rattling around back, so he takes a seat. Piled high on an end table are bundles of photo albums, full of work; he sinks into the cushions and starts flipping through.

Immersed in the images, he misses the sound of quiet footsteps.

“Are you James?”

The voice startles him and in one swift move, he manages to throw the album on the floor and tumble from the chair. Pages of photographs spill everywhere and he crawls over, hastily scooping them up and babbling one inappropriate apology after another.

“Shit! Sorry, I’m sorry! Shit, I mean I’m sorry for saying shit. Fuck, I didn’t - oh my god, I’m sorry, I’m not usually so - ”

Soft laughter greets him and he looks up in panic, a more refined apology on his lips, but the words evaporate.

Crouching beside him, graceful hands gather up the mess of photos, slipping them back into the album. Dropping it carelessly on the end table, she bounces back to her feet and offers him a hand.

“No worries,” she says with a breathtaking smile. “I shouldn’t have startled you.”

Although he has no need for the support, Bucky reaches mutely for her outstretched fingers because he can’t help but take them. When she tugs, he allows her to pull him up.

“I’m, um - Bucky. Please, call me Bucky.”

“Hello Bucky,” she says. She shares her name and he repeats it slowly. Clearing his throat, he takes a deep breath.

“Thanks for meeting me so late, I know it’s after hours.”

“Sure,” she says lightly. “So, what can I do for you?”

This is the tricky part.

“On the website, it mentioned you had experience with - with tattooing around scars,” he begins carefully. “Scar tissue I mean. Is that right?”

With his question, her expressions turns serious. She observes him for a long moment.

“Yes, I do. Can I ask how long you served?” she asks delicately and Bucky acknowledges her perception with a short nod. He toys with the zipper on Steve’s portfolio, debating his response.

“Seemed like forever,” he finally says, and it’s the most honest answer he has.

Nodding silently, she motions him behind the counter.

“Come on back, let’s see what you had in mind.”

Hugging the pictures to his chest, Bucky follows, eyes saucer wide as they weave through the work area to her space. The shop smells like the woodsy smoke from the candles sitting along her table, mixed with ink and latex and an odd sterile tang. He inhales and discovers he likes it, the strange scent lighting him up.

Dropping to her stool, she gestures for him to have a seat. Bucky sits gingerly, wide eyes still staring. When she catches his eye, he flushes.

“Sorry. First time I’ve been in a shop.”

“That’s okay, there’s lots to see,” she says easily. Looking at the portfolio still clutched against his chest, she grins. “Did you have some ideas already?”

He thrusts the portfolio at her. Propping it on her knees, she flips it open and he beams when he hears her astonished gasp.

“I like the colors there, if you think they’re possible?”

“Sure, might take some extra time, but I can do it,” she murmurs, pinching her lip. Turning the page sideways, she examines every minute detail, shaking her head in disbelief. “This is exquisite.”

“I’ll tell my artist. He’s a real diva sometimes.”

“I’d say he’s earned that right,” she laughs, tracing the paper with a light finger. She flips to the second picture and tilts her head. “The grays and silvers might look nice with midnight blue for contrast?”

Bucky nods eagerly. “Yeah, I love that idea.”

She looks again, examining the intricate design.

“Can you tell me about your pain tolerance? The designs are beautiful, but they’re complex. Each will take multiple sessions to finish.”

Bucky drops his eyes. He heaves a sigh at the obligatory question.

“It’s high,” he mutters. “Very - high.”

Silence follows his admission. When he dares to look up again, he feels a twinge in his chest at the compassion he finds. He offers a rueful smile and she slowly returns it.

“Would you like to come after hours? It can get noisy during the day, if you prefer things quieter. Most soldiers like that better.”

There is a sweep of relief at her casual acknowledgement. He huffs out a shaky breath.

“That would be great. If you don’t mind, I mean.”

“Not at all. I’m a night owl anyway.”

“Yeah,” Bucky says quietly. “Me too.”

She looks back to the portfolio, carefully shuffling the pages.

The third picture appears.

And Bucky sees it, that precise moment when realization sinks in. When she realizes exactly who is sitting in her chair tonight. There is no doubt the drawing gives that fact away. Heart pounding, he flinches, steeling himself for the inevitable.

But nothing happens.

She meets his nervous gaze head on and yet - that gentle smile remains.

“Bucky,” she repeats and this time she understands. “Oh. It’s nice to meet you, Bucky Barnes. Come back tomorrow night, 9pm. Don’t be late.”

He leaves the tattoo shop feeling lighter than he has in years.

*****

TATTOO 1: FOREARM

“Show me a man with a tattoo and I’ll show you a man with an interesting past.” - Jack London

*****

Perpetually early for everything, Bucky arrives at 8:45pm the next night.

The bell over the door tinkles when he enters, and she looks up from the front desk and waves. His stomach unexpectedly leaps and he thinks it must be nerves.

“Hey, Bucky,” her voice is soft.

“Evening,” he says shyly.

“You ready to do this?”

“Could hardly sleep last night,” he confesses with a grin.

Sliding timidly into her black leather chair, he watches her arrange tools on a shiny silver tray. An arm rest is attached to his right side, and he dries his sweaty palm on his jeans before easing his arm onto the cushion, palm up. When she drops onto her stool at his side, he offers a weak smile.

“You got the email I sent with all the information, right? Did you have any questions?”

He scrunches his nose, recalling the long, detailed summary she shared. For each of the three tattoos he requested, she gave him a detailed analysis of the process for creating each design; broke down how long each session would take; gave explicit instructions on the healing and care process; confirmed each individual color and how it would be applied; clarified the tools that would be used, including their brand names and how each one worked; she even provided floor plans of her shop - outlining entries and exits and bathrooms and locations of fire extinguishers.

It was a novel of information that must’ve taken her hours, and he was inexplicably grateful for the time she spent just to make him comfortable.

“No questions, I just, uh - thanks. For putting all that together. It was helpful to have all the information. Helps me keep my head on straight.”

“Of course,” she says. “So this first design should take probably 5-6 hours. Since you’re new, we’ll start with short blocks and see how it goes.”

Bucky gives a jerky nod and she pauses, pressing her fingertips against the smooth skin of his forearm.

“Here are the rules. You’re in charge, okay? We can go as fast or as slow as you need. This is not a race, and I have nowhere to be but here. Any time you want to stop, you say the word and I stop. We can take a breather, grab a cup of coffee and start again - or we can call it a night. This is your experience, Bucky. You’re in control. Understand?”

There is a fierce surge of gratitude at her words. Gratitude for her kindness, for her acceptance. Gratitude for her.

“Got it,” he whispers.

And with that, they begin.

Bucky follows each step, while she measures his arm, while she considers the contours and angles of his muscle, while she cleans and preps his skin. When she finally applies a stencil, his heart is hammering so hard his teeth are chattering.

The low buzz of the tattoo machine fills his ears with a click.

When the needles touch his skin, sweat instantly beads his neck. Adrenaline drenches his tongue and for one wild moment, Bucky panics. Wonders if this was a terrible idea, because what idiot asks for pain, seriously Barnes, what the hell is wrong with you, why’re you so stupid all the -

And then - oh.

Huh.

Interesting.

Wide-eyed, Bucky follows her careful strokes, black lines appearing on his skin.

It does hurt - sort of. Obviously nothing he can’t handle; in the grand scheme of his life, this would register as a minor inconvenience, but there is a pinch.

But that spark of pain vanishes, when the raw symbolism behind Steve’s design hits him full force.

Holy shit.

How many times through the decades did Bucky Barnes die? And how many times did he rise, born again from the frozen ash of oblivion? It was simply what the Soldier did. But it was a shadow-life, nothing more. Bucky never knew how close he was to giving up, until that day above the Potomac, Steve’s bloody face beneath his furious fists. He was so far gone, so lost and forgotten, until those memories cracked the Soldier’s fierce veneer.

And suddenly he was Bucky again. Awake and alive. For the first time in 70 years he felt fire in his soul. For the first time in 70 years he could breathe.

Tears inexplicably fill his eyes.

“All okay?”

Through a tunnel, Bucky hears her voice. Hypnotized by the metaphor inking itself into his skin, his head feels waterlogged when blinks up at her.

“Sorry?”

She scans his face, her thumb rubbing the pulse thrumming at his wrist.

“Everything okay?” She asks again and Bucky feels a potent rush of euphoria.

“Yes,” he says slowly. The excitement bubbles over and he lets out an ecstatic laugh. “Yes! This is incredible. This is - fucking hell, this is amazing.”

Chuckling to herself, she bends back to her task.

“So I guess we’ll keep going?”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Yeah, let’s keep going.”

Two hours later, the outline of the Phoenix is inked into his skin, crisp black lines like fresh paint. Long tail feathers are curled around his wrist, the lush feathered body splashed over his forearm, her wings spread open and curving around his arm, her head reaching toward the sky.

Born from ash. Alive again.

Bucky hates to cover it up, but she insists.

“Follow the cleaning instructions and it should be fine. We need to wait between the sessions, give you time to heal.”

At that comment, he fidgets.

“Actually, I heal pretty - fast.”

“I assumed you might. Usually I say 2-3 weeks between sessions, so how about you come back in 1 week and we can see. Let’s just make sure. Does that work?”

Bucky glances at the crisp white bandage on his arm.

“Okay, that works,” he says.

She squeezes his hand and he meets her eyes.

“You did great,” she tells him.

Bucky smiles in return. And he doesn’t stop for the next six days.

*****

When he walks into the shop for his next session, he carries a large coffee for himself and an extra large iced peach green tea for her. When he gets to the front desk, he thrusts the cup at her.

“Evening. Um, here. Saw you had one last time, so - anyway.”

“Bucky, thank you. I’ve been craving one all day.” She gives the straw an experimental bite, before taking a long drink and for some reason, the silly quirk makes his heart bounce.

After a quick check on how he’s healed, she declares him perfect and they get started, settling into a comfortable silence. After an hour of buzzing, Bucky clears his throat.

“Is it okay to talk while you work?”

“It is,” she affirms, dabbing at the ink. Glancing up, she sees hesitant blue eyes. “I’m good at listening too. Sometimes it’s nice just to listen.”

Bucky figures that’s a fair statement. He fiddles with a stray thread on his shirt.

“Do you read much?” He asks hopefully, picturing the teetering stack of books beside his bed. She perks at the question.

“I love to read. Have a pile of books on my nightstand waiting for me to find time. What about you? Are you reading anything good now? Any favorites I should know?”

Bucky swallows the happy surprise. If he could, he’d be content to spend the rest of his years with a comfortable chair, a cup of coffee, and an unending supply of stories. He could talk about books for days, he just normally keeps quiet, because most people aren’t interested in that facet of Bucky Barnes.

So he begins to talk.

He tells her how Natasha lent him all her Russian copies of Pushkin and Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, insisting that reading in the original language was infinitely better. He describes how he found a copy of Rumi’s poetry at a yard sale, and what an incredible treasure it was. He flusters recounting how much he cried reading ‘A Fault in our Stars’ and says he was scared shitless to even see a clown for a full year after reading Stephen King.

He talks and talks and talks, and when he finally stops to breathe, she glances up.

“It’s nice to hear a man who’s so well read,” she says and Bucky preens at the compliment. “Do you have an all time favorite? Something you never get tired of?”

A favorite? No question.

“Yeah, I do. Something I read during the war and kinda fell in love. It’s about here, I guess. About Brooklyn.”

At the description, her mouth quirks, but she keeps working.

“Did you ever think about a book quote for a tattoo?”

Now there’s an idea. He makes a mental note to think of a quote he could add as another tattoo. Or maybe another couple tattoos. Hell, one session in and he’s already addicted.

The comment tumbles free before he realizes he’s spoken out loud. He blushes at her laughter.

“It can be addicting,” she agrees. Bucky understands completely, seeing the vibrant crimson ink soak into his skin, painting the bird’s feathers. And then she pauses, meeting his eyes with a peculiar expression. “The right words can make you feel invincible.”

Setting the tattoo machine down, she rolls her chair back a bit and sits up straight. Lifting the hem of her shirt, Bucky sees a line of gold text inked below her ribs, his eyes following the flowing cursive.

“She was all of these things and of something more,” he reads aloud.

“‘A Tree Grows in Brooklyn’ is my favorite book too,” she says quietly. There is a long, unbroken moment where they stare into each others eyes. He should say something, he thinks. Something intelligent or witty or anything, but instead he just thinks about the fact that he found a woman in Brooklyn to permanently carve pictures into his skin and she has the same favorite book as him.

Bucky always was a sucker for fate.

“That’s - that’s really - I love that,” he finally says instead.

*****

A week later, Bucky arrives with a bundle of folders and an exasperated expression.

“This is really annoying, but do you mind if I finish some reports while you work? Got behind, someone’s gonna have my ass.” Bucky raises the papers apologetically.

“No problem,” she says easily. “Let’s keep your ass safe.”

Bending back to her task, Bucky snorts a laugh. They’re just a handful of mission reports, normally he types them soon as he returns, but lately he’s been slacking, because lately he has other things he finds more interesting.

Like the scene in front of him.

Together they work, each with their own pen. Bucky writes, she colors, and the clock on the wall ticks along. After awhile, she takes a break to stretch. Rolling her shoulders, she observes him.

“Are you left-handed?” she asks curiously and it takes Bucky a moment to think.

“Oh. Uh, not really,” he says. “But I can switch. Never been a problem.”

At the confession, she raises her eyebrows.

“That’s impressive. I wish I had a talent like that.”

He ducks his head at the praise. And he keeps writing, of course. Maybe adds a bit more flair. After all, the old Bucky Barnes did like to swagger.

*****

“Well, I think that’s it.”

It takes a beat before Bucky understands what she means. Confused, he peers up at her with a dopey expression and she gestures at his arm.

He feels his heart lurch.

It flames to life along his arm, painted in vibrant ruby red and rich crimson and deep plum, highlights edged in shining gold. Mesmerized, Bucky stares down at the lines of ink and he flexes, the tendons of his arm shifting, and the bird moves. For one wild moment, he believes if he stays still, it could leap from his skin and take flight.

It leaves him breathless.

“God, this is better - fuck, it’s so much better - than I ever imagined. How did you - wow. I don’t know how you did it, but - thank you. Thank you so much.”

Unanticipated emotion makes his voice tremble. Because this is the first time Bucky Barnes chose something permanent for himself. Serums and metal arms and bullets and blades, those were always forced upon him, his pleading refusals met with violence and sneering indifference.

But this?

This.

This is all his.

*****

TATTOO 2: BACK

“Wear your heart on your sleeve in this life.” - Sylvia Plath

*****

“So, uh, how exactly does this work?”

Standing beside the leather chair while she organizes her inks, Bucky wrinkles his nose. She looks up and motions for him to turn, straddling the chair with his chest pressed against the back.

“Are you comfortable completely removing your shirt? Or would you prefer to leave it part way on? I’ll just need it out of the way for the right side of your back.”

Bucky grimaces. Eventually she’s going to see his shoulder - he knows that - but he’s not in the mood to rip that band-aid off yet.

“Uh - let’s do part of the way if that’s okay?”

“That’s okay,” she confirms and he awkwardly tugs his right arm free, baring the broad expanse of his back. Tucking his arms in front of him, he slings a leg over the chair and rests his chin carefully on the headrest.

He says nothing, simply stays still while she absorbs the sight. Littered up and down his back are a litany of scars, puckers from the occasional bullet, thin lines from errant blades, and a few other marks he prefers not to define. His voice is muffled when he warily asks.

“Are you able to - work with it?“

“Absolutely,” she answers firmly and Bucky warms at the decisiveness in her tone. Her confidence makes him feel infinitely more positive.

This is the largest of his three tattoos, stretching from the tip of his shoulder blade and flowing down to his waist. It will also take the longest, but Bucky assures her he has no issue sitting perfectly still for hours.

It’ll be worth it. He can’t wait to show Sam - he’ll get a kick out of this one.

Once she applies the stencil over his skin, she goes to work, dropping into that headspace of deep focus. She works so quietly for so long, he falls into a trance, lulled by the melodic buzz.

When she speaks, it startles him.

“What made you decide you wanted a tattoo?”

He lays his cheek along the edge of the chair so he can see her from the corner of his eye when he answers.

“S’random, but back in ’37, me and Steve were out and I remember walking by this old tattoo shop over in Midtown. They had one of those big glass windows with the chair in front, so people could stand and watch. Anyway, we walk by and there was this kid sitting in the chair, and no fuckin’ joke, he was getting a big heart on his arm with ‘MOM’ written in the middle.”

“Ah yes, the ever popular ‘mom’ tribute. I’ve done a few of those,” she says and Bucky grins.

“Well anyway, I always kinda wanted something, you know? Thought about getting one before I shipped out, but I didn’t, and then it was - “ he pauses for a moment, but she encourages him with a questioning hmmm? and Bucky bravely pushes forward. “I had lots of years where I didn’t get to make my own decisions. And there was so much - bad shit that happened to me. Anyway, I guess I thought if someone’s gonna do something to me, I wanted it to be on my own terms. You know?”

“Yeah,” she murmurs. “I think that makes perfect sense.”

Bucky sits quietly, contemplating. The question has been rattling around his brain for awhile and it spills free before he can stop himself.

“The whole process, it feels sort of - intimate, doesn’t it?”

He flushes at the insinuation, but intimate is the best way to describe it, he thinks, this practice of someone permanently carving their art into your skin.

“It is intimate,” she says softly, leaning closer. “It’s almost like you’re - leaving a piece of your soul under someone’s skin? I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s what it’s always felt like.”

Bucky nods, watching her capable, artistic, beautiful hands as they move, slowly transferring bits and pieces of herself to him.

What a gift. He holds on tight.

*****

It was bound to happen at one of the sessions.

It’s been dark and rainy for days, buckets dumped from the heavens, the perpetual grumble of thunder always near. When Bucky comes through the front door, he feels like a wet dog. He shakes out his jacket, stomps his boots. He feels off base tonight, the result of bad sleep, bad dreams, and one particularly bad mission. He’s frustrated with himself for bringing it with him, thinks maybe he should’ve cancelled, but the thought of skipping his session - both the ink and her - was too depressing.

So instead of holing up in his room and moping under the covers, he braved the storm.

The one inside and out.

Searching for calm, he licks chapped lips.

“Hey,” he says, cringing when his voice cracks.

“Hey, Buck,” she turns cheerfully, but when she sees him squinting at her through the droplets cascading down his face, his shoulders hunched and tense, she stops. Looks him up and down and her expression softens. Beckoning him back, she digs up a towel and a dry t-shirt with ‘BROOKLYN INK’ stamped across the front, ushering him to the bathroom.

“Take all the time you need. No rush.”

Bucky mumbles his thanks and shuts the door. Gripping the sink, he glares at the mirror, at the smudge of dark beneath his eyes, at the clench of his jaw. Closing his eyes, he breathes slow and deep.

“You’re okay. You’re okay.”

He repeats the mantra, determined to settle. He’s been eager for this session all week, he’s sure as hell not ruining it because he can’t get his idiot brain to stop spinning.

When he finally emerges, he finds her arranging her work space. Halting in front of her, he keeps trembling hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes downcast.

“I’m afraid I’m poor company tonight,” he admits quietly.

“That’s okay. We can reschedule, Bucky,” she says softly and Bucky feels the disconcerting sting of tears. He rubs the heel of his hand against watery eyes.

“If it’s okay, I’d - I’d rather go ahead. Been looking forward to seeing you - uh, seeing you work, all week. It was just - “ he pauses and fights the temptation to spill his guts. No, he snarls internally, she doesn’t need to hear all your shit.

He clamps his mouth shut and shrugs instead.

She says nothing, but when she gives his hand a comforting squeeze, Bucky feels that familiar surge of gratitude. She guides him carefully toward the chair and he slumps into the seat, automatically tugging up his new shirt.

“Just close your eyes and breath. You’re okay.”

Bucky rests his chin on the edge of the chair. Troubled eyes flutter shut, and the comforting buzz of the tattoo machine fills his ears, muting the sound of the storm raging outside. When he feels the prick of the needles, he lets out a weary breath. And when he feels the easy pressure of her fingers, he begins to relax.

For hours, she works. Firm strokes, painting the story across his skin.

The dark night begins to fade before she finally sets her tools aside. When he climbs to his feet, she pulls him into a gentle hug.

Bucky sinks into her arms.

That morning, the sun begins to shine.

*****

Bucky’s been sitting for a couple hours now, eyeing the brick wall behind the chair. A question pops into his head and he feels like a jerk for not asking sooner.

“Hey - all these hours together, and I never asked you - what made you want to draw on people for a living?”

She hums at the question, and he can hear the happiness in her reply.

“Well, I always wanted to be an artist. For my eleventh birthday, my best friend Mike gave me this set of gel pens, there were a million colors. When I told him I wanted to be a tattoo artist, he let me draw pictures all over him for practice. He insisted on being the first person I inked, once I got my license. Would always tell people he was the ‘original canvas’ for my brilliance.”

When she laughs, Bucky chuckles with her; it reminds him of Steve.

“Sounds like a good man,” he says.

“Yeah, he is - he was,” she quietly corrects herself. “He was an EOD specialist in Afghanistan. Right before he left for his last tour, I drew up plans for the arm sleeve he always wanted; he planned to get it when he finished. A month later, he was in a convoy that was moving through the Gereshk Valley in the Helmand Province, when an IED hit his vehicle. He didn’t make it home.”

The story hits home like a kick in the face.

Too many soldiers, too many lives. Bucky reaches back to still her hand. He slowly turns to face her, gently tugging the tattoo machine free and setting it aside. Wordlessly, he offers his hand and she accepts it gratefully, weaving her fingers through his. It takes a few attempts before she speaks again.

“It took me a long time to get through that. One day I met a friend working down at the VA, and I heard a vet talking about the scars on his legs. He sounded so - sad about them, you know? Kept saying he didn’t recognize himself anymore. And I just stood there thinking, maybe I couldn’t help Mike, but I could still do something.” Staring resolutely down, she considers her fingers still entangled with Bucky’s. “I did some research and took some classes and - learned how to tattoo on scar tissue.”

Bucky gazes at her. He feels a sweep of pride at the way she turned her tragedy into something beautiful.

“I’m so sorry that happened,” he says and she finally looks up, meeting blue eyes bright with compassion. “But you should know, what you’re doing for people, it’s incredible. And if you don’t mind me saying, I think he’d be real god damn proud of you.”

A tear slips down her cheek and she ducks her head, her whisper so low he nearly misses it.

“Thank you Bucky.”

*****

Hours later, Bucky hears a clatter of tools and her huff of relief.

“All done.”

Wiping her hands, she pops excitedly up from the stool and Bucky pushes back from the chair to follow. Without a thought, she grabs his metal hand, tugging him impatiently over to a set of floor length mirrors along the wall. Bucky grips tight and obediently follows, his pulse racing. When she positions him at the mirror, she adjusts the panels so he can see himself from all angles.

“There, have a look.”

Along his spine, the single metal wing bursts free, so intensely realistic, Bucky’s jaw drops. It arches gracefully up, curving over his shoulder blade and sweeping down his back, razor sharp feathers tickling his rib cage before billowing out above his waist. Made from silvers and grays and shaded hints of midnight blue, it glows in the light. When Bucky reaches toward the sky, the muscles shift beneath the ink and it creates the strangest sensation of feathers unfolding.

All the scars littering his back, a flesh and bone patchwork of memories left by vicious handlers and fights too close for comfort, have disappeared. Blending into the steel of his new wing, their only purpose is to strengthen the image.

After all this time, he’s come to terms with the metal arm so unwillingly gifted all those years ago. But it’s remained a relic of a past life, something heavy, to drag him down.

But now, he rolls his shoulder back and his new metal wing lifts him higher than he’s felt in a long, long time.

*****

TATTOO 3: SHOULDER

“I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.” - Haruki Murakami

*****

“So our last session.”

“Our last session,” he murmurs.

Bucky thinks for a moment that she seems glum, but maybe that’s wishful thinking.

“This is a tough one,” she warns, “but I think we can do it in one session. I won’t try and cover them up, it won’t work. The best solution is to incorporate your scars into the design. Make sense?”

Bucky pictures the pattern Steve drew, bright green leaves and vines tracing the seam of his arm, melding with the thick ribbons of raised tissue. It doesn’t matter, but he timidly asks anyway.

“Will it hurt?”

“No,” she says gently. Pressing her hand to his galloping heart, she shakes her head. “It won’t hurt much there, but you need to tell me if it hurts here. You need to tell me if I should stop. Remember, you’re in charge, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispers.

Steeling himself, he whips off his shirt, balling it up in nervous hands. The cool air blowing through the shop is a relief for his overheated body.

“Do you mind if I feel the skin here? So I can make sure I approach it right?”

“Yeah, ‘course,” Bucky mumbles. Staring at his hands, he waits.

Leaning close, her fingers brush over him, feeling the lines and ridges, assessing the canvas. For ten minutes, she tests his skin, lightly pushing and pressing, observing the scars and bumps where metal meets man.

“Does it still hurt?”

She doesn’t want to ask, but needs to know what she’s working with. With a grim smile, he shrugs.

“Not really. Aches sometimes, but doesn’t hurt. Can’t feel much there besides some pressure.”

Nodding, she pinches her lip. “I was thinking last night, um - would you want to add anything else into the design? Nothing big, but a few flowers? Some daisies maybe?”

“Sure, I’d like that. Any reason for daisies?” Bucky asks curiously.

Pulling out a few additional bottles of ink, she absently touches the necklace at her throat, and Bucky sees a silver daisy spinning.

“Daisies represent new beginnings. Thought it might be a nice way to end, if you like?”

Does he like it? The idea of having this small thing in common?

Hell yes he likes it.

Maybe - maybe he even more than likes it?

“Yeah. That sounds perfect,” he says softly. He swallows hard and she nods encouragingly.

“Okay. Remember - stop me if you need a break.”

This one, Bucky knows will be hard. It was the reason he left it to the end - the mental fortitude required here is much different.

As she begins, he contemplates the pink furrows gouged into his skin. The memory of how they got there flashes before him, a sick image of shredded skin raked bloody beneath his blunt fingernails. Faint screams of a past life echo in his ears, the smokey cry of his own voice desperate for relief from the pain.

Cold sweat slides down his face and he slams his eyes shut, but that seems to make it worse. The images glow technicolor bright, and he grunts a frustrated breath.

And then, through the thin latex of her glove, he feels her cool hand press against his pounding heart. Cracking an eye open, he finds her calm face and he focuses on her, until his breathing begins to ease. Blinking rapidly, he drinks in the curve of her nose, the shape of her mouth, the beauty of her eyes.

His heart stutters, stunning him into a different kind of breathless.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, wide eyes locked on hers. “Yeah, I’m okay. You can keep going.”

When she bends back to her task, Bucky melts. It occurs to him, that perhaps if she might let him, he could be content watching her forever.

But for tonight, this forever lasts only a few hours before she’s done.

And there it is.

Shades of green line his shoulder, the vines curling and winding around his scars, blending them seamlessly into the foliage covering his skin. Spidering vines trail across his chest, and it seems incompatible in a way, something alive bursting from the stark metal, but the leaves look so real, he swears they flutter with each breath he takes. Strewn throughout the greenery, small splotches of yellow and white reveal her daisies and he sucks in a breath.

For the first time in his life, Bucky stares at his scars and a foreign word comes to mind, one he never, ever thought to use.

“Beautiful,” he breathes. “They’re beautiful.”

*****

And so, after 3 months and 30 hours together, they were done.

Hands in his pockets, Bucky gazes at her. Ink on her hands, ink on his heart. It hits him then, this is it. They shuffle, making small talk, neither ready to say goodbye.

“Promise you’ll come back if you decide on anything else. Tattoos, piercings, anything,” she teases and Bucky laughs.

“Told you, I might be a little addicted,” he admits, knowing full well he means to tattoos and to her. “Soon as I can think of a reason, I’ll be back.”

“I hope so,” she says. There is a brief moment where she seems to gather her courage and then she leans in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “You’re a work of art, Bucky, but - you were before any of this. Remember that.”

Dazed, Bucky touches his cheek.

Indelible and perfect, the tattoo of her lips inks itself straight onto his heart.

*****

When she arrives at the shop the next day, there is a new sight sitting on the front desk.

Daisies, their white petals and yellow faces as fresh as the afternoon sunshine filtering through the window. Bemused, she looks around the bustling shop and spies the card propped beside the overflowing vase, her name scrawled across the front.

“When I got home, I stood in front of the mirror for hours, staring at your artwork. Every time I told myself to go to sleep, I found something new I loved. The tail feathers on my Phoenix or the petals of your daisies. What you’ve given me is more than I ever hoped - I can never thank you enough.

But anyway, I remembered what you said - how this kind of art is like leaving a piece of your soul under someone’s skin.

Well, I won’t lie - you must have done, because I miss you already.

So at the risk of being forward (although I did break into your shop and leave this, so maybe this won’t seem that forward), would you have dinner with me?

I think there’s another new beginning waiting out there, if you’d like to find it with me.

Yours,

Bucky”

At the bottom of the note, a phone number is printed.

Brushing her fingers over the delicate white petals, she pictures him, that dark haired man with eyes like blue ink, so heartbreakingly beautiful inside and out. She feels the unconscious pull of her heart, telling her all she needs to know.

A new beginning.

She says yes.

*****

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #SSB2020 #bucky fic #bitsmasterlist #tattoos #tattoo trope

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years

Text

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 23

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

It doesn’t feel real until she sees the flutter on the ultrasound, the grey and white pixels flashing erratically confirming a healthy ten-week pregnancy. The doctor gives them a due date of September 17th, and she explains to Mulder repeatedly that the due date is only an estimate, that the baby will most likely arrive sometime in the two weeks before or after that day. Nonetheless, he prints little numbers in the corner of each date on the calendar, counting down.

She is lucky to experience very little nausea, but the time saved clinging to the toilet is instead allocated to bursting into tears at every tiny inconvenience. Mulder comforts her with a confused expression when she cries because she can’t find a Tupperware lid that fits, or her latte has too much foam, or she realizes she can no longer see her toes. She cries because she’s crying, because she feels out of touch with her own body and thrown off by her own emotions. They marvel at the growth of her belly as well as her breasts, which are even more sensitive than they were before. Her libido kicks into overdrive at the same time that she becomes incredibly self conscious about her protruding belly, her fuller face, her swelling feet. This leads to more tears as she grapples with both wanting desperately to be touched and not wanting him to look at her.

He tells her each day how beautiful she is, her hair growing longer and thicker, her skin glowing, her rounding belly housing the perfect little life that they created together. When he’s home, he rubs her feet every night, fetches her countless glasses of water and then helps tow her out of the bed so she can pee ten times in the night. When he’s on the road with Monica, he calls three times a day, asks Missy and her mother to go by and check on her, calls in dinner to be delivered so she doesn't have to cook. As her due date nears, he stops going on out-of-town cases, needing to be close enough to be by her side immediately when she goes into labor. He will not risk missing the birth of his child.

The apartment becomes cramped with a bassinet, changing table, pack n play, and various other baby gadgets. They consider moving, but the idea is too overwhelming for Scully so they decide to stay put until the baby becomes mobile and they really need more space. Mulder breaks the lease on his apartment and moves his fish tank into the living room, putting the rest of his furniture in storage until they buy a house. Priscilla breaks in all the baby gear, sleeping in the car seat and jumping into the swing, covering the tiny onesies with her black fur and making Scully cry yet again. Mulder refuses to let her scoop the litter box, even though she insists it’s safe if she wears gloves and washes her hands afterward. Other tasks she’s forbidden to complete include cleaning the toilet, carrying in the groceries and hauling laundry to the washing machine. When he’s on the road, she misses him as much as she is relieved to be able to be independent, not much caring for being treated as though she’s made of glass.

For the majority of her pregnancy, Scully insists that she doesn’t want to know the sex of the baby, that she wants to be surprised. Mulder respects her decision, even though he would personally like to know, and they create two lists of potential baby names, Scully crossing off “Lisa Marie'' each time Mulder tries to add it to the “girl” column. When she reaches 39 weeks, her pelvis widening as the baby drops into the birth canal, she is so miserable that she has a change of heart, needing to feel connected to this thing that is destroying her body and stealing her sleep. They call the doctor together on a Thursday afternoon as Scully sits on the couch in tears, having woken that morning to find angry red stretch marks marring her previously lily-white belly. When Mulder relays the doctor’s message that the baby is a girl, she sobs harder, and he’s not sure whether it’s because she’s happy or disappointed.

She wakes him at 3:00 am on September 21st, the irregular Braxton-Hicks contractions she’s been feeling for weeks having taken up a predictable cadence, now ten minutes apart almost on the dot. He starts rushing around, scrambling for her hospital bag and his shoes, and now it is her turn to provide comfort, to let him know there’s plenty of time. She doesn’t want to go to the hospital until the contractions are five minutes apart, and so they wait. The progression to nine minutes, then eight, then seven is alarmingly fast, and by the time she agrees that they should head to the hospital she’s starting to feel pressure low in her pelvis. Mulder drives too fast, the streets thankfully still quiet in the early morning, and she is wheeled into labor and delivery with not enough time for an epidural, much to her lament.

Molly Katherine Mulder has blue eyes and a dark shock of nearly-black hair. She barely cries at her entrance to the world, instead searching the room with a curious gaze, squeezing her daddy’s finger with an impressively strong grip and latching like a pro. They are able to go home the following day, Scully wincing as she moves gingerly from the bed to the couch, rinsing her tender stitches with a bottle of warm water and bleeding through entire packages of overnight maxi pads in a day.

Mulder takes off work for two weeks and they spend blissful days curled up in bed with the baby nestled between them as Priscilla curiously sniffs around her, licking her hair with a rough tongue and making them laugh. Each time Scully wakes at night to nurse, Mulder insists she go back to sleep while he changes the baby and walks her around the quiet apartment until she is asleep, singing softly and lulling them both.

When Mulder returns to work, Scully insists that he get a full night's sleep and let her wake up with Molly, reasoning that she can take naps during the day. She does not, of course, take naps during the day. Instead she tries to keep the apartment clean, the clothes washed, the diapers taken out to the dumpster, the litter box scooped. She does too much, and he sees it each day as she grows more and more weary, more and more defeated, the bags under her eyes deepening in color and her mouth rarely hosting a smile. He begs her to let him do more, to ask less of herself, but she is stubborn and strong-willed, the very things he loves about her now keeping her from properly taking care of herself.

They struggle through sleep-deprived arguments over who left the breast milk out on the counter all night, why it matters if he changes the baby on the floor instead of the changing table, why Scully doesn’t want to supplement with formula so he can take some of the night feedings. Her doctor releases her as medically clear to have sex after six weeks and she cries as she tells him that she doesn’t feel ready, that she can’t imagine anything worse than sex right now, and he holds her as he tells her that he doesn’t care, that she should take as much time as she needs, that he can wait.

They struggle, and they thrive. Moments of absolute unadulterated joy are punctuated by intense despair and overwhelm. The gain of a family against the loss of a life where you could pick up and go, stay out until 2:00 am and make love in the middle of the day. They are happy, and they are stressed, and they face it together.

On a Saturday in December, Mulder wakes early and takes care of every conceivable task in the house; the laundry, the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, scooping the litter, buying the groceries. He checks every item off Scully’s to-do list and then takes Molly for a long drive, leaving Scully alone with nothing to do in hopes that she will rest for once. When they return from their excursion, he creeps into the quiet apartment with a sleeping baby in his arms and sets her in the bassinet by the couch. At first he thinks maybe Scully has gone out, but he finds her in bed asleep with soaking wet hair, Priscilla curled up behind her knees. He watches her for a bit, affection clutching at his chest, then changes into sweats and kicks Priscilla out so he can snuggle up behind Scully. It feels so infrequent that they just lay like this anymore; one of them is always about to get up with the baby, about to get ready for work, or doesn’t want to be touched after a tiny person has clung to them all day. He pulls in a deep breath, smelling her lavender bubble bath and feeling the rise and fall of her ribs against his chest. He doesn’t want to disturb her, but he can’t resist pressing a tiny kiss to the side of her neck.

“Mmmm,” she hums in response, twisting her body around so they are face to face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispers.

“It’s okay. Where’s Molly?”

“She’s asleep in the living room.”

She sighs and snuggles closer to him, pressing her forehead into his chest and pushing one of her legs between his.

“This feels nice,” she says contentedly, and he brushes his hand softly up and down her back.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Tired. Frumpy. Like I haven’t put on real clothes or a stitch of makeup in three months,” she laments.

“Well, I’ll give you tired,” he says softly, “but I can’t agree on frumpy. I think you look very beautiful.”

She scoffs against his chest.

“You don’t have to placate me, Mulder. I know I’m a mess.”

“Maybe so, but you’re my mess,” he retorts, pushing his fingers into her hair to gently scratch her scalp.

She tilts her head up to look at him, appraising his face with a skeptical eye.

“Is this what you thought it was going to be like?” she asks, her tone open and vulnerable.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly, “I guess I didn’t really know what to expect.”

She sighs. “I just wish I knew when I might start to feel like myself again,” she says sadly. “I can’t help but feel like you’re not getting what you signed up for.”

“What do you mean?” he asks with a concerned frown.

He sees her eyes growing glassy, dampening with impending tears. “I mean the woman you asked out in the autopsy bay isn’t the one you’re with now,” she whispers, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

“That’s not even a little bit true,” he implores, cradling the back of her head with his hand. “You are everything you were then, and more. I’m amazed by you every day.”

She closes her eyes, a tear rolling across the bridge of her nose. He feels his chest ache; the need to make her understand is overwhelming.

“Hey,” he says, pulling the blankets back, “come here.”

He pulls her into a sitting position and slides off the bed, towing her along with him to sit on the edge of the mattress. He kneels on the floor between her knees, his hands on her hips.

“If you think for one second that I want to be with anyone but you, you’re fucking insane. I don’t care if you wear giant milk-stained T-shirts and have spit up in your hair for the rest of our lives, Scully. You’re it for me, okay?”

She pulls in a shuddering breath and wipes at her eyes, but won’t look at him.

“Stay here,” he commands, and disappears into the bathroom for a moment. When he comes back, he returns to his post kneeling at her feet.

“We knew this was going to be hard,” he says tenderly, holding one of her hands in his. “You said it yourself before Molly was born, that it would be the hardest time in our lives, and that we’d be at our worst. And I’m telling you that if this is your worst, sign me up, okay? It hasn’t changed how I feel about you.”

He holds up his other hand, a diamond ring perched between his thumb and forefinger.

“If you’re not ready to say yes yet, that’s okay, but I need you to know that I still want to marry you, Scully. I’ll wait forever if that’s what you need, but there hasn’t been a single day since I asked that I haven’t still meant it.”

Her tears have stopped, though her eyes are still wet and the tip of her nose is red. She looks from him to the ring and back, her eyebrows stitched in contemplation.

“I didn’t hear you ask me a question,” she says quietly, and he picks up on the slightest lilt of playfulness in her voice, which makes him break out into a smile.

“Dana Katherine Scully, love of my life, mother of my child, will you marry me?”

She smiles then, and he thinks his heart may burst right out of his chest.

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” she answers, and he takes her left hand, slipping the ring on her finger.

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him repeatedly, soft pecks devolving into lingering smooches as he shifts up slightly, pushing her back gently to recline on the bed. He moves over her, kissing along her jaw and down her neck, not going any further, not wanting to rush her.

She brings her hands to his hips, letting the tips of her fingers slip under the waist of his sweatpants, and his cock stirs. It’s been so, so, long, and he wants her desperately, but not until she’s ready. She pushes her hand down the front of his pants, gripping him as he grows hard under her touch. It’s overwhelming in the best way; he feels like a teenager being touched for the first time.

“I wanna have sex,” she breathes into his ear, the words rushing out quickly as though she’s afraid she might change her mind if she waits too long to say them.

He pulls back to look at her. “Are you sure?” he asks, and she nods, bringing her palm to his cheek before glancing at the ring on her finger and smiling.

They move slowly, though still with a sense of urgency that a baby sleeping in the next room brings. He pushes her shirt up and she lets him take it off, then slips the yoga pants off her hips, leaving her in basic black cotton briefs. He sees the hesitancy in her eyes as he looks at her body, now softer than it was before Molly, curvy in different places, purple streaks running from below her belly button to disappear under her panties.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, kissing her chest, her breasts, her belly, running his tongue along the grooves of her stretch marks. He loops his thumbs under the waist of her panties and tugs them down slowly, quickly undressing before he rejoins her in the bed.

“Tell me if anything hurts, okay?” he asks with a serious expression, and she nods, letting her legs fall open as he settles between them. He lines himself up with her entrance and pushes in achingly slowly, watching her face raptly. Her mouth opens slightly, and she takes in a sharp little breath. He’s about to ask her if it hurts when she closes her eyes and her mouth drops open further as she breathes out “oh,” in a way that he knows means pleasure, not pain. When he’s all the way in, their hip bones pressed together tightly, he stills and kisses her for a while, feeling like he could melt into a puddle for how good everything feels. His heart, his mind, his body, he is all wrapped up in her and it’s exactly where he wants to be.

He begins to move, and she responds with an arch of her back and a little gasp, her hands clutching at his shoulders. Little by little, he increases his pace until he knows he won’t last much longer.

“What do you need?” he asks, and she brings her hand to her breast.

He dips his head, flicking at the hardened bud of her nipple, and feels her clench around him. He plays with the level of pressure, licking and sucking, pleasantly surprised that she is enjoying it even as her breasts have taken on a purely functional role these last few months.

She pulls in a huge breath, arching her back and pressing her head into the mattress and he groans as he feels her tighten around him. She emits a single piercing cry when she comes, stifling it with an arm slung across her mouth. He pours into her, burying his face in her neck, clinging to her like a life raft. She is, in fact, all he needs to survive.

Resting half his weight on the mattress beside her, he stays inside as they both come down, panting and smiling, brushing hands over each other’s skin, reconnecting.

“Ah!” Molly yells from the living room, and Mulder laughs.

“You’re being summoned,” Scully says with a tender smile.

He withdraws from her, handing her his T-shirt to clean up while he slips on his sweatpants and retrieves Molly from her bassinet.

“Guess what, Goose?” he says, using his special nickname for her, “Mommy and Daddy are getting married.”

“AH!” She squeals, flapping her arms.

#the x files #txf #dana scully #fox mulder #gillovny #msr #sculder #x files fanfic #alternate universe

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arvandus · 3 years

Note

Prompt 1 for Dabi either fluff or angst your choice

Oh look, my biggest one yet at 1629 words. But it’s Dabi, and we all know how I feel about that man... and I’ve decided to write *angst*, because... well... I like to hurt myself apparently.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy, in an “ouch” sort of way... ___________________________________________________

#1. “It’s you, it always has been.”

The first time you met Touya, at six years old, you’d been drawn to him instantly. He was happy, outgoing, and bold, talking about his big hero dreams and worshipping his father. You had listened with eager ears, reliving tales of his father’s heroics with him, and joining in with dreams of your own. Youthfulness was simple like that, eager to give adoration in search of guidance. That’s how your friendship started. Young. Innocent.

Happy.

As time passed, you both grew older and your friendship grew as well. Maybe it was all the time you spent together, the walks home, the shared lunches. Or maybe it was just the inevitable development of youth. But you began to see him differently, your heart racing each time he looked into your eyes, your body wanting to be closer to him. It was innocent in its genuineness, a simple desire to hold him close, to cherish all of the little moments.

But he changed too. He grew more quiet, more distant… you were sure it was his family life. He’d only talked to you about it once or twice. But you never pressed him about it, and eventually he fell silent.

You had held out hope though. After all, he still walked you home every day. He still spent time with you during lunch, the two of you finding the quiet places to be together. And he still listened.

It all had to count for something, right? So, you’d decided. You’d tell him. And if it worked out the way you hoped it would… maybe he’d smile again.

But each time you tried to say the words, they could never leave your mouth. It frustrated you, feeling trapped by your own fear as you watched him pull further and further away from you.

Finally, one day, you’d decided. Today was the day. You were going to do it. You sat behind him in class, his white hair perched on hunched shoulders. Nervously you took a strip of paper from your notebook and scribbled a quick note over it.

Dear Touya,

We’ve been friends for a long time. I want you to know that I really like you. Like, more than a friend.

You stared at the words on the paper, before deciding to add more.

Do you like me?

Yes or No (circle one)

You handed it to him when the teacher’s back was turned, and he took it deftly from your hand. Your ears were ringing, your heart pounding. You felt stupid. It was so lame, but in a moment of panic, it was the best you could do.

You watched as his fingers opened the paper and read its contents. You waited, a snake of anxiety coiling itself in your gut.

‘Please…’ you had thought. ‘please answer me…’

But he never did. Instead, he tucked the note into his pocket.

That was the first day he didn’t walk you home.

It was pouring rain outside, the sky dark and heavy with low clouds blanketing the city. It suffocated you. You hated this weather. It always made the memories stronger, more powerful. A gust of wind rattled your closed windows, and you stood up to close your curtains against it but halted, your movements frozen.

There. Across the street, stood a hooded figure. His hoodie kept his face in shadow, but you’d recognize his lean form anywhere, familiar dark messy hair peaking out from the cotton that did little to protect him from the downpour.

“Touya…?” you muttered.

It’d been a long time since he’d last shown up in your life. The last time you’d seen him was unintentional… you’d recognized him, even with his dyed hair and purple burn scars and had chased him down. He’d brushed you off, harsh words stabbing at your soul, shattering your euphoria at realizing your childhood friend was still alive. You’d learned quickly in that moment that he wasn’t that nice boy anymore, and he had wanted nothing to do with you. It had almost broken you.

Almost.

But now here he was, standing outside your home as if you owed him something. Your clenched your jaw in anger, even as you abandoned your window to grab your raincoat and umbrella.

You came out of your front door just in time to see him disappear down a residential alleyway halfway down the block. You cursed under your breath and ran to catch up to him, your boots splashing puddles onto your pants.

As soon as you turned the corner, his voice greeted you.

“You really shouldn’t follow strangers into alleyways.” He scolded mockingly.

There he stood, leaning against the wall with his hands buried deep in his pockets. He looked worse than the last time you saw him, the scars darker than before, his stitches pulling morbidly at his skin. His eyes still held that electric blue in them, sizzling with life, but there was something off about them... a detachment you couldn’t place. It terrified you.

“You’re not a stranger.” You replied.

“You sure about that?” he asked.

“What do you want, Touya?” You demanded, your hands clutching your umbrella. The cold was starting to soak in, making your fingers ache.

“Don’t call me that.” he retorted. “I’m Dabi now, remember?”

“You can call yourself whatever you want, but I know who you really are.” You shot back. You weren’t in the mood for this.

His stared at you for a moment, measuring your resolve, before he averted his eyes, his cocky bravado momentarily muted. He stared down at his boots in silence, a furrow on his brow. For the first time, he looked like himself, black hair and scars be damned.

“I have a big job coming up. It’s the one I’ve been waiting for… probably the biggest one I’ll ever do.” He started.

You shifted uncomfortably. “Why are you telling me this? I haven’t seen you for years and now you just show up-”

His words cut you off. “Would you just shut up and listen?”

Anger flared your nostrils, your jaw clenched shut. The gall…

“I might not be able to come back for a while.” He continued.

That got your attention. A deep sense of dread filled you from your soggy boots up to your furrowed brow.

“What do you mean?” you asked warily. Please…. Don’t…

“I don’t want you to look for me anymore, you got that?” he ordered.

How did he know? How long had he been watching you?

“There’s something else…” he said. “I got something for you. But… you have to close your eyes.”

He was bringing you gifts now? The dread sunk its teeth deeper.

“Why?” you asked hesitantly.

“Just do it.” He said softly. Something about his tone made you obey. It wasn’t Dabi asking… it was Touya.

You held your breath and closed your eyes as he took a step forward to close the space between you. You felt his rough, warm hand take yours and slip a something into it. Before you could open your eyes to see what he’d given you, you felt his hand cradle your face as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. You leaned into it instinctually, eyes still closed, an odd sense of relief falling over you as your heart focused on this single, precious, surreal moment.

“It’s you.” He whispered against your skin. “It always has been.” The words were enigmatic, yet they filled your heart with sunlight, rays of warmth trapped under water. You held onto them like precious, fragile, glass.

Touya pulled away from you and the cold rushed in to take his place, heartache replacing relief. The loud sound of rushing air rumbled in your ears, but by the time you opened your eyes, the noise – and Touya – were gone.

“T-Touya…” you whispered, as a tear slipped down your cheek. Only empty silence answered you back, the alleyway forlorn and abandoned.

You opened your palm to see a thin, folded envelope in your hand. A gust of wet wind nearly tore it from your fingers, so you clutched it tight and shoved it into your pocket. The clouds seemed darker, the rain felt colder… and an empty longing settled itself in your bones like poison. With a final glance over your shoulder, you returned to your house, your heart heavy.

As soon as you left your rainy items by the door and settled yourself into your room, you pulled the envelop from your pocket. You stared at it with shaky hands. The outside was blank, a worn crease down the middle as if it’d been opened and folded repeatedly. It was thin, and you couldn’t help but wonder about its contents. Slowly, you forced yourself to open it. Your fingers pulled out an old, folded piece of notebook paper. It was frayed on the edges, the creases of its folds worn so thin that you were afraid it’d fall apart in your hands. Old, dirty fingerprints littered its weathered texture, the paper yellowed with age. Your heart began to pound heavy in your chest like the pulsing of a dying star. Recognition began to dawn on you. Had he really kept it? You were so certain that he’d thrown it away…

You opened the paper gently and a sob immediately ripped itself your throat.

There your words sat, old and childish. But at the bottom, a single black circle surrounded the one answer you had been hoping for. It was the reason you’d never given up on him, never stopped looking for him.

You finally understood, as tears streaked down your face, your lungs aching as you gasped for air around your bawling. This was his last confession. This was his goodbye.

Touya was gone. And he wasn’t coming back.

#Arv's 500 Followers Event #dabi #touya todoroki #dabi x you #dabi x reader #touya x reader #touya x you #dabi angst #touya angst #bnha #mha

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rosesloveletters · 3 years

Text

Simplicity.

pairing: Heath Ledger Joker x Reader

word count: 1,336

warnings: language, violence (mentions of blood) and some sexual themes.

summary: short sentence prompts revolving around reader’s relationship with J.

notes: Hello! I wanted to share something different with you all this time, so I chose a prompt I have not done in a very long time. I used a random word generator to generate 50 words and I would write one or several sentences including and/or inspired by each individual word. If you would like to try out this prompt, visit this link for the random word generator I used. Please enjoy this fun little prompt I fulfilled with J in mind.

unedited.

Quit

“I think I’m starting to get pretty good at this ‘committing heinous crimes and random acts of violence’ thing, aren’t I?” “uh-huh.” You fix him with a look of disbelief, to which J’s only response is, “don’t,ah, quit your day job, toots.”

Anger

The anger you feel doesn’t hold a torch to the rage within J every time that you disobey him.

Distance

The nights when you fall asleep next to J are the ones which make you feel miles apart.

Braid

You tentatively clutch the braided rope in your hands, wondering how long had it been beneath your bed and why J had hidden it there.

Steep

Being in a relationship with J is like trying to climb a mountain that is too steep for you to find any generous footing; if you cling too tightly, the surface gives way and you slide all the way back to rock bottom.

Quota

Guns are too quick, J reflects, but he’s got a quota to hit and so he reloads without another thought on the matter.

Bet

You would’ve bet that J would eventually have to sleep, but never would you have thought it would take this long.

Crystal

“No more blood on my sheets that isn’t mine or yours, J, do I make myself clear?”

“Mm…crystal.”

Hot

Blood oozes from the open cuts which litter your skin like tiny scratch marks and you wince in discomfort; nothing a hot bath, or tongue, can’t fix.

Moving

Imagining a life with J means taking into account the amount of times you’ll have to move to remain one step ahead of the Gotham Police Department.

Biscuit

J trying to stuff several biscuits into his mouth at once inspires you to make a mental note never to bake him any ever again.

Nonsense

You could not make heads or tails of some of the things J tells you and you wonder if perhaps it really isall nonsenseand there’s no ultimate meaning behind any of it at all.

Scene

Most days, you refuse to turn on your television for fear of another crime scene making its way onto your screen; you always know who’s to blame.

Bubble

The color of blood has always been J’s favorite and he has to concentrate not to smile fondly as the warm, sticky liquid bubble’s from his victim’s throat.

Possibility

When you were younger and more naïve, you used to believe in life’s endless possibilities, however, life on the run with Gotham’s most wanted criminal only has one viable outcome.

Basket

You follow the trail of dark red droplets all the way to your bedroom and the sight that meets you is enough to make you drop the basket of clean clothes you were carrying.

Literacy

J often leaves notes behind on the little doodles he scatters throughout your home. The first one you ever kept was written after he begrudgingly watched a nature documentary with you, inspiring him to leave a drawing and a note scrawled across the margins of the morning newspaper: ‘I hate bees’.

Step

To step up against J was to end your own life; even though you are still breathing, today is the day that you have officially died.

Distort

Your relationship with him was about as distorted as J’s grip on reality, but that was what made you love him the most.

Brown

J’s brown eyes contain the only bit of humanity within him.

Light

J’s face is illuminated by the flames, his stark white face paint glowing a pale orange by cause of the dying embers, and the sight makes you wonder what elsehe is keeping from you?

Beat

Should anyone lift a finger against you, J would not hesitate to deliver a beating they might never recover from.

Commitment

Much to your chagrin, the only thing that J is committed to is his work.

Patience

It might take some time for you to warm up to the idea of sharing a house (and a bed) with Gotham’s most notorious criminal, but J knows he can wait you out.

Shower

It’s the first time he’s had a shower in weeks and J’s expression remains indifferent as the water visibly grows darkin color from the grime that rinses off his body.

Preference

It is true that J has no preferences when it comes to who he is sleeping with, but he would be damned if you didn’t check all the boxes he would have had if he’d been anyone else.

Fool

Perhaps it was foolish of you to think that J could muster emotion of any depth in association to you.

Knock

You could have lived with polite knocking, but whenever J returns home it sounds like he’s about to break the door down.

Curl

J’s body encircles you, curling protectively around yours as you embrace each other in the pale lamplight.

Protection

Under J’s protection, you throw caution to the wind and allow him to do what he does best; you would never have daredto walk the streets of Gotham by night, yet now you travelled them carelessly under cover of darkness beneath the ever-watchful eye of your ever-present bodyguard.

Sow

“Ever since you came into my life, I’ve had nothing but bad days!” “Ya…reap what ya sow, huh, doll?”

Key

You gave J a key, but he somehow manages to get inside your house without ever using it.

Film

J doesn’t ever utter the ‘I love you’ words, but without fail does he watch every film you’ve ever picked even if it does not interest him; actions speak louder than words and in this case, you never would have needed him to say a word.

Digital

You really would’ve liked to know why J had such strong opinions about digital clocks.

Short

The first time J snaps at you for coming a bit too close when he’s in a foul mood shows you just how short of a fuse he has.

Second

A second’s glimpse gave you the impression that there is more beneath the surface of J’s hardened exterior.

View

“Quite a plea-sing view, ain’t it, doll?” J asks as you both admire the burning building.

Depression

You never see the side of J that is tender except on the days when it all becomes too much and you physically cannot get out of bed.

Check

Ever since J had come into your life, you have not felt the need to check underneath your bed and inside your closet before climbing into your bed.

Shelf

J intentionally puts everything you need on a high shelf and won’t ever retrieve it for you when you ask.

Switch

A switch to the other side gave you a taste of sweet adrenaline and you finally understood why J loved the chaos.

Trap

Every word you utter becomes another bar in the cage he traps you in and throws away the key; you cannot win an argument with J.

Damn

That damned clown is going to kill you, either out of love born from you’re your own misguided emotional ties to him or with a gun to the head in the middle of the night; you did not care which.

Relinquish

J will never relinquish control even if his life depends on it and, sometimes, it does.

Delete

You wish that removing emotions is as easy as pressing ‘delete’ on your keyboard, but nothing in life is that easy and J is determined to teach you that.

Incentive

Watching you undress in front of him was morethan enough of an incentive to keep J in line for now.

Swallow

“It ain’t polite to play with your food, sweets,” J growls, a smirk of superiority on his face as he watches you finally swallow your mouthful.

Relief

You are unable to express the amount of relief you feel on the night J returns from yet another unexplained period of extended absence.

Front

He puts up a good front, but you are aware of how much it bothers J every time they call him ‘crazy’.

Adventure

Sharing a life with J is a daily adventure and you never know what direction it will lead.

#heath ledger #the dark knight #the dark knight joker #joker #the joker #heath ledger joker #ledger joker #joker x reader #heath ledger joker x reader #the dark knight imagine #biblio :: 📖

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pappydaddy · 3 years

Text

ivy (f.w.)

A/N: Here here the first piece for the Folklore/Evermore collection - ivy. This ended up being 13 pages (whoops!). It is clear in the piece that Y/N’s family, the Malfoy’s, and the Weasley’s are in no way related so, I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that! Anyway, enjoy lovelies💛!

Paring: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader/Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Show/Movie: Harry Potter

Not Requested

No Voldemort AU, but there is blood-supremacy but it’s not like in your face, it’s just because of the arranged engagement.

Warnings: Lucius being a jerk, being trapped in a loveless engagement, arranged marriage, cheating, breaking off an engagement. Lucius kills a owl, but it’s briefly mentioned.

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation - my gif -

She never saw this coming. This was not supposed to happen - any of it. She wasn’t supposed to be forced into an arranged marriage, she wasn’t supposed to be with Draco, and (most importantly) she wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Fred Weasley while she was engaged to Draco Malfoy. She could guess that she deserved this. Her life was relatively easy until now. Even when she was sat down with her parents, Draco and his parents a year following their departure from Hogwarts and told she was to marry Draco since she was part of one of the only pureblood families not related to the Malfoys at all, her life was rather uncomplicated. It wasn’t until she bumped into Fred Weasley (another pureblood her family was oddly not related to), an old friend of hers from Hogwarts, one day in Diagon Alley when she was out shopping for a new owl since her and Draco’s had died from Lucius’ spurt of anger a few weeks prior.

The second her face met the broad chest of Fred, she felt heat crawling along just under her skin, tingling through her entire body in seconds. Looking up at him, his face glowed incandescently. Soon, she found her other thoughts cloudy in comparison to the thoughts of him. Despite everything within her telling her that those tingles and clouded thoughts meant no good, she agreed to be accompanied by him to help her choose a new owl. “You know, Errol finally kicked the bucket, it was quite sad,” Fred told her as they stepped into the cluttered shop. “Miss the poor bugger.” He muttered, letting the door softly close behind him as he followed her farther into the shop.

“I’m sorry, I know how much Errol meant to you guys,” Y/N sympathized. For only living with Draco for six months, she grew oddly attached to their owl, feeling like she was the only one she could confess her true feelings about the marriage to. When Lucius had hit the bird with the curse, she felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, but she didn’t dare react. When he and Narcissa had left a few hours after, she had immediately run up the stairs, locking herself in her and Draco’s shared bedroom for the rest of the night. “It sucks when they go.”

Fred hummed in agreement, looking around at the multitude of caged owls around them, all clicking their beaks and cocking their heads at them as they passed. “That it does, Y/N/N. That it does,” He spoke, reaching his finger out to stick a bent knuckle between the golden bars of one of the cages. The snowy owl lunged at it, snapping its jagged beak at his finger in an attempt to bite it. “Hey!” He exclaimed, jerking his hand back away from the cage before he could get caught by the beak.

Y/N turned to look at him, snickering when she saw him clutching his hand to his chest, leaning away from the cage as he eyed the bird. “Teach you not to put your finger in a random owl’s cage, Fred.” She chastised, turning back to inspect the owl in front of her. She heard the sound of Fred’s feet shuffling along the old floorboards towards her.

“She looked friendly enough,” He defended, coming to stand beside her, bending down to also inspect the owl she was considering. She tried to ignore the rush of dizziness she felt from him being so close to her, the heat of him waving across the small space to hit her. “Who do we have here?” He asked, not noticing her switching to breathe through her mouth in an attempt to block his intoxicating smell of gunpowder and firewood from wafting into her nostrils. She could feel his gaze settling onto the side of her face, but she tried her best to also ignore that. She reached her hand out, tapping the little information tag attached to the table below where the cage sat.

“She doesn’t have a name yet, but she’s a decently young Barn owl-”

“Just like your owl from Hogwarts! Whatever happened to her anyway?” Fred inquired. Y/N swallowed, her hand fiddling with the sparkling engagement ring that sat on her left ring finger. She didn’t want to tell him the truth, but she had nothing else to tell him. She wasn’t prepared to spend the day with Fred, let alone having him ask her questions like that.

“I had to get rid of her when I moved in with Draco, Lucius’ orders. I couldn’t have any possessions of my own that should be shared between a couple. So no owl, no dishes, nothing like that.” She muttered, casting a look down at her ring, watching as it caught the sunbeams pouring through the window of the shop. It was an extravagant ring. Tiny diamonds surrounded the large oval diamond and dotted all the way along the silver band. It took up so much room on her finger that it was a bit odd-looking. She thought it was an absolutely gorgeous ring, but she much preferred simpler rings compared to gigantic ones that nearly blind you in the morning sun.

“That’s insane, your parents couldn’t have kept your things if he requires you to follow that ridiculous, archaic rule,” Fred asked, bewildered. “Does that mean you had to get rid of your favourite teacup? The floral one that your grandmother gave you?”

“Unfortunately so.”

“Where did it go?” Fred blurted the question out immediately, a look of determination on his face. Y/N finally glanced at him again, her eyes catching on his jawline before stopping at the freckles that littered his face. His red hair burned brighter and his skin glowed in the golden rays, looking like one of the paintings you would find hanging in the Hogwarts corridors.

“I sold it to an antique store here on Diagon Alley, don’t know much more than that,” She clicked her tongue, reaching out to grab the ring on top of the owl’s cage. “I think I’ll take this lovely lady, she looks so calm,” She cooed, noticing how the owl barely shifted when she picked the cage up. “Wanna stick your finger in her cage?” She directed the last question to Fred, looking up at the older wizard with teasing eyes.

“Yeah, no thanks, I learned that lesson already today.” He scoffed, following her towards the cash in the middle of the store. Y/N let out a boisterous laugh, gaining the attention of the lady tending the cash. The older lady sat up straighter on her stool, tucking her copy of The Daily Prophet off to the side.

“Good morning, Mr. Weasley,” She greeted him kindly, reaching under the counter to grab a tin, setting it onto the counter and extending it towards the pair. “Sweet?”

“Don’t mind if I do Mrs. Echers,” Fred lit up, plucking one of the individually wrapped sweets from the tin, unravelling it and stuffing it into his mouth quickly. “Thank you.” He spoke through a muffled mouth, chewing on the taffy-like candy. The lady, Mrs. Echers, slid the tin towards Y/N, looking up at her with expectant eyes.

“How about you dear?”

“If you insist. Thank you.” She smiled, gently taking one between her pointer finger and thumb, tucking it into the pocket of her jacket before placing the cage on the counter. Mrs. Echers put the tin back under the counter, looking between Fred and Y/N.

“You didn’t tell me you were engaged-” She paused, squinting her eyes at Fred to figure out which twin he was. Before Y/N could correct her, the lady sighed. “I’m sorry dear, I still can’t tell you two apart.” She shook her head, defeated.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Echers, I’m Fred,” Fred waved her off, looking down at Y/N with a goofy smile. “But I’m not engaged, she’s an old friend I bumped into.” He said the words with an almost disappointed voice that Y/N was sure she was imagining. Why would Fred be disappointed that she wasn’t engaged to him? He was Fred Weasley. The boy two years older than her, and her friend’s older brother. There was no way that Fred Weasley was disappointed about her getting married to someone else.

“Oh, really,” Mrs. Echers gasped, looking between them again as if she didn’t believe it. “I’m sorry dears. You guys just meshed so well together, I had just assumed,” She apologized, laying a gentle, frail hand on her chest, her shoulders drooping. “Now that I’ve embarrassed myself enough, will this girl be it today or do you need some food or anything?”

“No thank you, she’ll be all. We’ve still got plenty of supplies leftover from our last owl to do us for a bit,” Y/N told her, digging through her bag for the money Draco had given her. Before Mrs. Echers could tell her the total, she was already placing the exact amount on the table, Draco having given her just enough for any owl. “My Fiancé’s father is quite strict about how much money he should give me,” She admitted bashfully as Fred and Mrs. Echers gave her odd looks. “Very traditional.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Echers cleared her throat, sharing a look with Fred as Y/N looked down to zip her bag back up. The older lady placed the galleons into the tray before taking a piece of paper from the stack, slamming a stamp upon it. “Here is your receipt dear,” She smiled kindly at Y/N, handing her the slip. “Have a great day you two.” She waved to them as Y/N went to take the cage off the counter.

“Let me take her,” Fred told her, his hand beating her to grip the loop again, picking the cage off the counter himself. Y/N looked up at him, startled before she nodded. “See you, Mrs. Echers.” He nodded at the lady. Y/N smiled, waving in parting as she walked towards the door. The pair stepped out in the cold, making Y/N regret not wearing her travelling cloak this time round. She shivered slightly, the winter chill running right through her.

“Well, I guess I best be heading home, Draco will be wondering where I’ve gone to or if I’m buying the whole shop!” She joked, trying to take the cage from Fred, but he moved it out of the way, his brows furrowed in displeasure.

“How can you buy the whole shop if he limits how much money you can carry on you per trip?” He questioned.

Y/N sighed, dropping her extended arm. “It’s not Draco as much as it’s his father, he thinks that I shouldn’t be able to spend Draco’s money since I didn’t make it and we’re not married yet.” She explained, starting to walk along the snow-covered cobblestones. Fred scoffed, shaking his head.

“Why don’t you just work?”

“Because Lucius says that I shouldn’t work, that Draco should be the one controlling the money and he can’t control the money if I make my own,” She disclosed, her eyes trained on the path in front of her. “But Draco doesn’t agree with him, he always tells me that after Lucius has scolded me for doing something wrong.” She was quick to defend her Fiancé.

“If he didn’t agree then he should stand up for you,” Fred pointed out, walking slowly beside her, ignoring the path in front of him - instead, he was watching her. The conversation came to a natural end with that, bathing them both in a comfortable silence as they thought. Y/N tried to not think about how easy it was to be with Fred, how comfortable and relaxed she was with him compared to Draco, the same school-girl feelings kicking up from where they had settled at the bottom of her heart like dust. “Would you join me at The Leaky Cauldron for a drink or two?” He suddenly asked, looking back at her.

She looked over at him, shocked to see him already looking at her. “I really should be getting back, besides, I don’t have any more money on me.”

“Nonsense, you are your own person and I can pay for your drinks!”

“Then wouldn’t that make this a date?”

“That so bad?” Fred wondered flirtatiously. Y/N laughed shaking her head gently, a large smile covering her face as she tilted her head to the ground before looking back up at him, the smile still on her face, her eyes twinkling.

“It would be since I am engaged to get married, I can’t really be going on dates with another bloke.” She pointed out. Fred nodded, looking away to look ahead, his lips pressing together tightly as he nodded.

“Well, if you won’t let me treat you to a few drinks on me, would you like to come to my apartment for a free drink? And if you want, you can send me some knuts for the teabag or whatever you drink if that makes you feel better.” He offered, earning another laugh from her.

“Sure, why not,” She shrugged. “But you better expect to see this owl tomorrow morning.” She teased, pointing to the owl in the cage he still held. She felt excitement ignite within her as they saw the purple painted outside of the Twin’s shop appear. She had never been in the shop since it opened, she was excited to see how much it had changed in its success.

____

Y/N sat on the couch of the grand library, a book open on her lap, but she wasn’t paying any attention to the words on the pages. Instead, her mind was on the same fiery locks she gazed upon a week ago. Even in the big, silent house, her head was filled with the sound of his voice, easing the heaviness of her heart. Before she bumped into him, she was perfectly fine playing the doting wife to Draco, to accept her fate willingly, but now she couldn’t shake the pain she felt when the thought of the life that awaited her when she got married. Suddenly, being alone in this mansion felt like she was trapped up in a tower, far away from anyone who wasn’t her family or her Fiancé and his family.

Sighing, she blinked at the page, trying to unblur the words and take her mind off the man she most certainly shouldn’t be thinking about like this. For the week following their little encounter, she couldn’t get him out of her mind, every little thought was consumed either by the feeling he ignited within her or him himself. She was sure that their meeting was an off thing, never to happen again, especially since he hadn’t sent her another letter since she mailed him a few knuts, having had to lie to Draco and tell him that she had accidentally broken something when she was buying the owl and had to replace it. Even though Lucius had berated her for a good ten minutes afterward as Draco stood back silently, she found herself willing to tell a lie again if that meant that she could just contact Fred in someway.

Two clinks against the glass of one of the large windows of the library startled her. She looked towards the window, seeing a Tawny Owl perched just outside, pecking the window. Carina, her and Draco’s owl, chirped happily, shifting on her perch, her wings flapping as she waited for Y/N to let the other owl in. “You know this owl, Carina,” Y/N asked, gently closing the book and setting it on the empty cushion beside her, rising from the deep green velvet couch. Walking through the dust particles that danced in the heat of the morning sunlight, she unlocked the window, opening only half of it enough to let the light brown owl into the house. “Come on in,” She spoke gently, watching as the owl spread its wings and glided into the room, going right towards Carina and perching itself right by her. “Is this your friend?” She directed the question towards Carina, earning a small, happy chirp in return. Giggling, Y/N grabbed treats out of the jar, leaving the window open, allowing the cold winter wind to gush into the room.

Stroking the mysterious owl’s feathers, she extended her flat hand towards it. Clicking happily, the owl took the offered treat gently. Extending her hand towards Carina, the treat was swiped from her hand. Carefully, she took the rolled up piece of parchment from the owl’s leg, unravelling it. Walking back to the couch, her eyes skimmed over the messy but neat scrawl, the sight of it making her heart jolt. Slowly, she sunk down onto the couch, but still remained poised in case Lucius decided to swing by to ‘make sure she was acting appropriately’ while Draco was at work.

Dearest Y/N/N,

Fred’s letter started.

You must be wondering why I still haven’t sent a reply to your letter in the past six days. I was unable to continue correspondence due to the booming business the holidays are bringing to the shop, but I also had my own mission I needed to complete before I could send any sort of letter to you.

She smiled down at the little paragraph before her eyes flowed to the next one.

I am very sorry that I couldn’t have written a more formal letter and put it in an envelope, but sadly, with how busy the shop has been, I could only manage to scribble this down on a spare piece of parchment. It also didn’t help that it was George’s turn to grab stationary this month and he forgot. But despite the lack of supplies and time, I needed to write to you.

Now, to get to the point of this letter. I am requesting your presence at either my apartment or The Leaky Cauldron. I give you the choice because I know how you feel about the idea of me paying for your drinks. Bring sickles if you need, but I beg you to agree to meet me at eleven at your choice of location.

Much love,

Fred Weasley

She couldn’t help but smile down at the parchment, her body weightless as if she was floating around the sky among the clouds. The pain and loneliness of the cold mansion vanishing. Warmth wrapped around her like a warm blanket. “He wants to meet me somewhere,” She whispered, feeling a giddiness rise within her. She tried to squash it, to push it down. It was the same giddiness she felt when he had smiled at her in the hallways back in their school years. “He probably wants to catch up some more, that’s all,” She told herself, rising from the couch once again to make her way over to the writing desk by the open window. “I would love to go to The Leaky Cauldron, but Draco would never give me money if he knew I was meeting Fred there, best go to his apartment I guess.”

She sat Fred’s letter off to the side, noticing a scrawl on the back of the parchment, making her flip it over.

P.S., This is Earl the Tawny owl, George and I’s owl for the apartment. He took quite a liking to Carina, I think they are quite good friends already.

Shaking her head, she glanced up at the two owls sitting calmly on the perch, tilting their heads at each other. “Earl, nice to meet you.” She nodded at the light brown owl. Earl looked towards her, clicking as if returning the greeting. Nodding, Y/N grabbed a piece of clean parchment and an envelope, plucking the quill from the desktop and uncapping the inkpot. Dipping the end of the quill in, she wiped the access along the lip of the bottle, a bit of black ink rolling down the side of the jar. The quill scratched on the parchment as she elegantly wrote a greeting to Fred, a soft smile on her face as she wrote.

____

The next day at eleven, Y/N wandered into the Twin’s shop, spotting Fred right away. Standing behind the counter, he slid a big bag of products across the counter to a tired-looking man. Her feet easily made their way towards the tall ginger, the same soft smile that she usually wore around Fred taking its place on her face. The man walked past her, the strangers sharing a greeting nod in passing. “Eleven o’clock right on the dot,” Fred commented, stepping out from around the cash, showing Y/N his deep purple suit. “Always so punctual.” He teased, crossing his arms over his chest.

“One of us has to be, and it’s certainly not going to be you, now is it?” She teased back, pushing the thoughts of how good Fred looked in deep purple. Fred chuckled at that, nodding in agreement.

“Too true, Y/N/N,” He shook his head gently, nodding his head in the direction of his apartment. “Come on, I’ve got something to show you.” He told her, turning on his heel and striding towards the stairs. Y/N followed after him, taking the shop and its contents in as she passed shelves practically bursting with all the Twin’s inventions on them.

“Should I be scared? You’re not going to try and test a product out on me like when we were in school, are you?” She posed the question nervously, eyeing Fred’s back as they climbed the stairs to get to the apartment door. Fred let out another barking laugh, glancing back at her to throw her a wink that made her knees nearly give out from under her.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” He teased, not easing any of Y/N’s nerves. Even while she was nervous, she still felt the ease of calmness Fred’s presence cast over her. Fred opened the door, stepping out of the way to let her through first. The small apartment greeted her for the second time. Though it was crowded with furniture, products, and other things, she felt something she never could feel in her house. It felt warm and cozy, like a home, not just a house to sleep in. “Take a seat on the couch, I’ll get us some tea.” Fred told her, not even feeling the need to direct her to the couch. She didn’t feel like he needed to either for she already felt like she knew the space better than she knew her own house. Shedding her travelling cloak and her winter jacket, she draped them over the back of the couch, perching herself neatly on the edge of the cushion as if Lucius would pop out of nowhere and scold her for not sitting properly.

“So what’s this thing you need to show me so bad?” She called behind her towards Fred. She could hear the clanging and the shuffling from him in the kitchen behind her, but she couldn’t hear his reply until she heard him walking up behind her.

“You’ll find out in a second, but first,” He paused, setting two teacups on the coffee table in front of them. “You have to let me sit down,” He joked, lowering himself onto the couch beside her, sitting much more relaxed than she did. He took a sip of his tea, eyeing her, waiting for her to take a sip of hers. Catching is drift, she grabbed the cup, bringing it to her lips and taking a dainty sip. Nodding, he set his cup back down and reached for a bag neatly placed by the coffee table. “Happy Christmas, Y/N/N!” He smiled brightly, handing her the gift bag. She gasped, looking at it.

“A Christmas gift,” She asked, looking at him with wide eyes. “Fred, you shouldn’t have,” She continued, but he brushed her off, placing it in her lap insistently. “But I can’t get you anything in return, Draco won’t let me.” She pointed out sorrowfully, playing with the bit of tissue paper sticking out of the bag.

“Nonsense,” Fred waved his hand in the air before pointing at the bag. “Your reaction to this gift is enough for me,” He insisted. “Now open it or I will open it for you.” With a sigh, she pulled the tissue paper out of the bag, gasping when she saw what was settled at the bottom of it. Looking over at Fred with wide eyes, she looked for a way to know that it was actually what she thought it was. Fred nodded, smiling at her reaction.

“Fred, I-I,” She stammered, reaching in to grab the item, slowly pulling it out for them both to see. “It’s my teacup,” She breathed out in disbelief, looking at the light blue floral cup all over. “And the saucer,” She exclaimed, noticing the small plate also tucked in the bag. “I don’t know what to say, this is simply amazing,” She continued to gush, gently placing it back in the bag. “Where did you find it?”

“Well, I went to all the antique stores in the Alley to see which one you might have sold it to. When I did find it, they had already sold it but turns out, they sold it to Mrs. Echers from the pet shop and so I asked her if I could buy it back for you and she just gave it to me.” He retold the story. Y/N sat the bag down on the coffee table, lunging towards him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders without thinking. She was flat against him as he held his hands away from her in a stunned shock before he let his arms loop around her waist, holding her to him tighter, his eyes closing at the feeling of her warmth.

It was the explosions of mini fireworks under the skin of her lower back where his hands rested that pulled her back to reality and caused her to pull away, remembering that she shouldn’t be holding someone like that when she was engaged. “But, I can’t keep it, Draco and Lucius would never let me bring this into the house.” She remembered sadly. For a moment, she felt like she was free from the weight on her chest, free from this marriage that she and Draco clearly didn’t want.

“I know,” Fred told her, a smirk playing on his beckoning lips. “That’s why I think you should leave it here. You can come over for tea when Draco is at work and you can use it here. Whenever you like,” He suggested, snatching the bag from the table and walking over into the kitchen. Y/N stood, following him. Her heels clicked against the floor of the apartment, not having the same empty echo they did on the floors of the mansion. “That way, we won’t lose touch with each other again.” Fred pointed out, taking the cup and the saucer, placing it in the cubert with their other teacups.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” She admitted, looking down at her feet as Fred turned to face her, the cubert door closing quietly. He gazed down at her, noticing the faint blush that appeared on her cheeks and nose. “I’ve missed talking to you.” She finally looked up at him when she was sure the rosy colour had faded, but her cheeks burned once again when she saw him gazing at her like that.

“I missed talking to you too.” He whispered. She was so wrapped up in the realization of how easy it was to talk to him, how easy it was for the pain and the stress from her life to fit in his hand as he relieved it from bearing down on her. It frightened her, but she couldn’t stop. She knew full well that she was falling for Fred Weasley again, but despite her telling herself not to, she couldn’t help but let the butterflies flutter. While preoccupied with her thoughts, she failed to notice how they grew closer together. On some level, she was aware of it and she wanted to lean closer to him, to press her lips to his, but her rational self was oblivious.

Finally cluing in, her rational self made no move to move away from him was his intoxicating scent flooded her senses. His breath fanned over her face the closer they got to each other, their feet shuffling and closing the distance slowly. She didn’t want to stop this. She wanted to do it even though she knew it was wrong. “Hey, Fred! You gotta come back down, we’re swamped-” George barged into the apartment. Y/N and Fred jumped, but they barely moved apart, their shocked faces only turning to look at the intrusion. “Oh, hello, Y/N, how’s Malfoy?” George wondered, having heard about her engagement from Fred.

“Uh, he’s, uh, good,” She nodded, her eyes darting around in panic. “He’s busy at work, but we think that will clear up after the holidays.” She sputtered nervously, stepping away from Fred hurriedly, coming back to her senses.

“Did you have something in your eye?” George wondered, watching her scramble towards the couch and grab her coat, pulling it on frantically.

“I’m sorry?” She blinked.

“Did you have something in your eye, was that why you guys were standing so close when I came in?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” She nodded, throwing her travelling coat over her arm and grabbing her bag. “I better go and let you guys get back to work.” She smiled towards Fred sadly, not actually looking at him.

“No, Y/N, you can stay, it won’t take long, we can have the rest of our tea when I come back.” Fred pleaded, not wanting her to leave. She shook her head, rushing towards the door.

“No, no, it’s alright, I have things to tend to at the house anyway. I’ll send you a letter, Fred.” With that, she escaped out the door, leaving a defeated Fred and a confused George behind.

Later that night, laying in the large bed, staring up at the silver moonlight lighting up part of the ceiling, she couldn’t help but think about Fred. Think about how it would feel for him to hold her as they fell asleep, think about how it would feel to kiss him, how it would feel to be wrapped up in his scent. Huffing, she turned her head, spying the dark figure of Draco laying next to her, his back to her. Even in the already large bed, she felt cramped laying next to him, but she also felt lightyears away from him. Sighing, she turned her eyes back to the glowing ceiling, her mind unable to stop thinking about Fred. She had tried so hard not to let him into her heart, not to let him plant himself into her perfectly laid plans, but here he was, slowly climbing up her tower like ivy, almost reaching her.

____

It had been weeks since the incident, and though Y/N had been around Fred, she hadn’t let herself be expressive, instead, she pushed all her feelings to the bottom of her heart and did her best to keep them there until she left his apartment. Even with the tension, their conversations flowed smoothly. But all of those meetings were alone, there was nobody else there, just them. This one was different. This one wasn’t really even a meeting. This was the Ministry’s Christmas party. Y/N was forced to go because of her Fiancé and her future father-in-law both worked with the Ministry. Fred had to go because his father and his brother worked there. The small bit of knowledge that Fred was going to be there both excited and scared her.

His presence at the party was part of the reason she chose to wear this green, wrap dress with the thin straps, and sweetheart neckline. She looked amazing in it and felt amazing in it. She wanted to feel wanted and Fred was the only one she wanted to feel that from. Draco had barely looked at her when she finally descended from the grand staircase in their mansion, too busy talking to his father about how to act at this party. Draco’s hand on her lower-back didn’t ignite the little fireworks that Fred’s did. She didn’t have the same tingling spreading through her body as she did when Fred touched her. Her thoughts weren’t clouded like they were with Fred.

Even before they left the mansion, Y/N found herself longing to have some borrowed time with Fred. She wanted to sneak away with him, seeking the relief he brought her. When they finally arrived at the party and she spotted him across the room, his eyes already on her from the second she stepped into the room, that feeling only intensified. Draco, her Fiancé, was standing right next to her. She should have wanted to have his eyes on her, to feel his touch, to stare into his eyes, but she only wanted Fred. She wanted his eyes on her, she wanted to feel his hands on her lower back, she wanted to stare into his eyes. He had consumed her finally, his ivy growing to cover her tower, reaching inside to save her from her isolation.

“Yes, Y/N and I are still planning our wedding. I’ve just been so busy with work that I haven’t had much time to work out a budget for her and mother to work with,” Draco was locked in a conversation with some old Ministry official, a conversation that Y/N took no part in. Instead, her eyes were locked on Fred across the room, watching as he talked with his twin, sipping at his champagne fluke. “What season were you thinking of having the wedding, Y/N?” Draco asked her, pulling her from her daydream.

She pulled her eyes away from Fred, looking between the man and Draco, Lucius glaring at her subtlety as if to warn her not to mess up. “I was thinking of a spring wedding-”

“A spring wedding,” Lucius repeated in an outcry. “You cannot have a spring wedding. There is mud all over the place. It’s a mess!”

“Yeah, I forgot. Maybe a summertime wedding would be better.” She corrected herself, taking a sip of her fluke.

“Summer weddings are amazing, but they get fairly warm so it would have to be an outdoor wedding,” The man nodded along. “But that doesn’t matter as long as you two are married and start having babies, that’s the main thing, right Lucius?” He exclaimed loudly making Y/N nearly choke on her champagne. The man’s exclamation gained Fred’s attention, making him look over at the group. He saw Malfoy’s arm around her waist, looking rather limp. It was as if he didn’t want to touch her. Y/N on the other hand looked like she wanted to escape his hold and escape this party in general, but she plastered on a fake smile and powered on.

“If you would all excuse me, I have to go powder my nose.” She wiggled out of Draco’s hold, none of them protesting her exit. Setting her champagne down, she exited the main ballroom, wandering through the empty halls, trying to get as far away from the party as she could. She failed to notice Fred following her in a distance, glancing behind him to make sure that nobody noticed or was following him. The slapping of dress shoes interrupted the clicks on her heels, startling her. Scared that it was Draco, she held her breath as she turned around, being pleasantly shocked when she saw Fred running towards her.

She stood there, shocked as he closed in on her, stopping in front of her as he panted slightly. “Hi.” He smiled down at her, breathless and still looking amazing in his black dress robes.

“Hi.” She said, equally as breathless just by looking at him.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t not tell you how great you look tonight, it just wouldn’t be right if you didn’t hear that,” He told her bashfully, stepping closer to her. “And that I missed you.”

She took a step back to create distance between them. “I missed you too, but we can’t do this here, what if Draco or Lucius saw? I would never be able to see you if they saw us.” She worried, looking down the vast hall towards where the party was, not seeing anyone. She let out a breath, looking back to Fred, their eyes connecting and her falling under his spell yet again.

“Why would that matter, we’re just friends catching up.” He asked.

“You know that we’re not just friends talking,” Y/N insisted, shaking her head. Fred bowed his head, licking his lips as he nodded, figuring that she would have brought this up sooner or later. “My life is a bloody fire and you’re the one who started it! I would have been fine being forced into this marriage, not knowing if there actually was someone out there for me to love and to love me, but then you reenter my life and that just shatters everything because no matter how hard I tried to fight this, you managed to plant yourself into my life.” She ranted, her chest heaving up and down as she started to panic, having just confessed that she loved Fred. She hadn’t even come to terms with that, let alone think about telling him that.

“And you think I wanted to do that? You think I wanted to fall in love with the woman who was already promised to another bloke? My feelings for you had never gone away and when I found out that you were engaged, it broke me, but I would rather you be in my life married to another than not be in my life at all. You think you’re the one with the problem? Think about how I feel, the woman I love is going to get married to another man and I can’t do anything about that-”

“Tell me to run.” She interrupted him, catching him off guard.

“What?” He blinked.

“Tell me to run,” She repeated. “If you tell me to run, I will leave Draco, leave the engagement and be with you, but I won’t go if there isn’t a chance of us being together because you’re it for me, Fred. You are the one I love, the only one I love.” She expressed, waiting impatiently for him to speak.

“I-I-”

“Fred, if you don’t tell me to run, I can’t leave. You’ll have to watch me become a Malfoy, watch me drink my husband’s wine like the doting wife I would have to be, watch me be by his side and bear his children. If I told him that I loved another, his father would destroy my house, destroy my family, destroy my owl again, destroy me. He would burn everything to the ground, but if I leave and be with you, I would have the courage to leave. But if you don’t tell me to run, then I will stay right where I am.”

Suddenly, his lips were on hers, moving passionately, their eyes closing as his tongue darted into her mouth. Pressing her against the cold stone wall, she slung her arms around his neck, pressing herself to him, her lips moving hungrily in time with his. Wedging his leg between her legs, she hiked her leg up to his hip. Her buttery smooth, dark red lipstick smudged against his lips and face as they lost themselves in each other, finally subcombing to their desires. She pulled away, panting, her head resting against the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist as she struggled to reach the ground due to his height. “So, was that you telling me to run?” She whispered, her eyes dancing between his as she waited for his answer.

“That was me telling you to run.” He confirmed, smiling down at her. She beamed, her fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.

��“Then let’s run and get my stuff out of that place before Lucius can even think about ruining it.” She smirked, pressing a lingering kiss to Fred’s lips.

“But, what about Draco?”

“I’ll take care of that later, first, let’s get me out of that house.” With that, they pulled apart, Fred setting her gently on the ground before taking off down the hall towards the floo networks, their hands connected and wild laughs echoing off the walls around them.

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