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smoshpostiing · 3 months

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TW: ED discussion

i think its time for me to share some of my story and also talk about angela <3

this is a positive post but contains heavy topics, please proceed with care ❤️‍🩹

for my whole life, or as long as i can remember, i have struggled with body dysmorphia and disordered eating.

when i was sixteen, these issues got really serious and took over my life. i was hospitalised, and over the next few years saw endless GPs, specialists, dietitians, and referred to day stays and recovery programs. it was neverending. i never felt good enough, or "sick enough", and was stuck in my own mind.

eventually i became okay with the idea of recovery and at around the same time, my love of smosh rekindled itself after being a fan for many years. i had seen angela giarratana in starkid musicals and smosh videos and loved her so much, i related to her a lot.

around the start of recovery i had noticed subtle comments and allusions she had made to her own experiences that many may not have noticed unless they had been in a similar situation (moments talking about her sword af character being like herself, etc)

then came her short film "guts". the combination of these things made me feel so seen and valid and safe and brought me so much comfort. it was the push i needed to commit to real recovery. and now i am months into recovery. ❤️‍🩹

her openness and subtle vulnerability has brought me immense comfort. she deserves the world and there is no way i could ever thank her enough for the impact she has made if she even knew how she had contributed to my recovery.

being able to relate to her and finding reasons to take back control of my life is something i think i should finally share with you all on here.

i still have days where im not doing so great. but i am reminded that i am not alone and i can get better. angela is one of those reminders. <3

i was so lost until i was reminded there was hope for me.i wont say recovery is easy, because it isn't. but if you are struggling, you are seen. i promise. there is hope for you.

angela, thank you❤️‍🩹

thank you my nearest and dearest moot @unknownteapot for the nudge to put my story out there in the hopes that maybe there is someone else who may be in a similar position. please share if you can <3

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uncanny-tranny · 4 months

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I'm by no means recovered fully, but it genuinely feels so... freeing and exalting to be excited to eat, to look forward to a meal you're making. I can feel it changing my brain chemistry 💛

#mental health #mental health recovery #disordered eating tw #disordered eating mention tw #ed tw #you don't GET it... i've spent DECADES struggling with disordered eating (mostly ARFID i think) and it's made my life HELL #i don't know if the 'average' person truly gets just how soul-crushing and horrifying dealing with disordered eating truly is #i'm by NO means recovered and feeling like a 'normal' person for one meal??? it's indescribable #my disordered eating made/makes my life exhausting and it's hard to articulate it to people who don't get it. i could cry right now #after DECADES of this one meal is all i could want to be thrilled by 💛💛💛#that part in Take On Me where it goes 'slowly learning that life is okay' hits different for me now 💛#positivity

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waterdeepp · 1 year

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you know what. i’m so fucking happy i regained my love for eating. i’m so glad i gained weight back. i’m so glad i can eat food and enjoy it. im glad i can eat in public. im glad i can squish parts of my body. im glad someone can hug me and feel softness. im so glad for food. im so lucky to be able to eat it. 3 years ago i never would have ordered food and enjoyed it. 3 years ago i would have cried over the idea of “wasting” calories. food is pleasure, food is amazing! and i love it so much, i’m not afraid to admit that. i’m happy to be fat and happy as the saying goes.

if you’re hungry, eat. if you want food, eat. if you’re insecure or suffering from an ED, the answer is not to starve yourself. Heal. Reject the notion your sickness is glamorous and aesthetic. eat. you will never be happy if you live life fearing food. your body image issues will not heal unless you do

#recovery #ok to rebagel #adding ed tags because i want those struggling to see #ed #edtwt

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hel7l7 · 9 months

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I don't regret my eating disorder recovery but sometimes I feel pressure to be perfect in my recovery because I have lots of friends who still struggle.

I want them to see how good it all can be.

#this series #i feel responsible for everyone lol #i mean recovery is great but sometimes i feel like i can't ever struggle anymore #ed recovery

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cryptic-healing · 5 months

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Heya! Just trying this account out:) it’s not technically art just a brain dump but there will be art, poetry, art journaling, junk journaling, scrapbooking, mental health stuff and whatever else comes to mind. Everything I post is mine unless stated otherwise.

#art therapy #art journal #acrylic painting #ocd #arfid #mental health #mental illness #art diary #ed recovery #ana trigger #ana recovery #arfid struggles #arfid recovery #junk journal #scrap booking #sa survivor #painting #thermal imaging

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thelunarsystemwrites · 3 days

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[TW Eating disorders of multiple kinds, like BED, Bulimia, and ARFID!]

(Also mentions of weight, guilt, food/eating!)

So... you know the bad time trio? Y-Yeah so uhm... like I migh'tve thought of something. Like another way to torment them.

So I might've thought of a real stupid AU, where I gave them each an eating disorder. (All coming from my personal experiences.)

So starting with Horror, he has BED, which stands for Binge Eating Disorder. Something he developed as a result to being in the underground, and starving for so long—He tends to think with a scarcity mindset. He finishes his food even if he's full, and a lot of foods are trigger foods for him to start binging. Also, he tends to hoard.

Killer, is suffering from Bulimia. I haven't quite decided why he does it, so I'm also going to go with trauma response. Like he constantly feels empty, he needed to feel anything else. And, listen—Only takes one time purging to get addicted to it. (<- speaking from experience there, I very much regret September 16th.)

Dust has ARFID, which stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. For him, it's a huge mixture of guilt and delusions that causes him such distress. He'll look down at many certain foods and can't stop thinking of someone he's dusted, can't stop seeing it as something he should not eat. It's textures, smells, tastes, looks—Which. He's dropped a concerning about of weight due to this.

Now, the thing is after the murder time trio figured out they're all terrible at eating. You wanna know what they did?

*Sharp inhale*

They formed a pack, one that was basically to help each other out when needed. If Nightmare or Cross (<- not an ED, but he does have an exercise addiction) ever got suspicious, they'd cover for each other, make up excuses when Dust wouldn't eat or why a whole pack of chips was gone the next morning after just being bought.

As for Nightmare... he is, incredibly suspicious of these three. He feels embarrassment and shame in the air when he asked who ate of last of something and it almost always comes from Horror.

He feels emptiness and frustration that comes shortly after Killer excuses himself from the table, Killer always excuses himself first.

And he feels sadness, fear, and guilt from Dust anytime he picks up a fork, fear.

And he doesn't know how to handle it, or what to do. They all look so... tired, and so exhausted and dinner time is so awkward and he hates not knowing what's wrong.

So the story would focus on Nightmare trying to get to the bottom of it, and once he figures out what's wrong, he'd ne focusing on trying to help them recover.

Now, he's not entirely sure how be would help them recover, but he's getting there.

AU credits!

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httpness · 18 days

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I have realized recently that talking about my struggles to others (bonus if they are a close one) is a love language, I’m still learning how to do it properly but it’s a work in progress.

Does anyone want to be mutuals/friends to stay motivated and talk about struggles?

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referencees · 2 months

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‘ED recovery’ influencers drive me fucking nuts. Like their content is basically only about their ED and their recovery but then 90% of their posts are just body checking.

Like posting photos of you posing in tight workout clothes at your daily workout, making sure everyone can see your thigh gap and your flat stomach does not seem like recovery to me.

Posting your no carb, no fat, neurotically ‘clean foods’ meals does not seem like recovery to me.

Constantly posting comparisons of your current body with your ‘ED’ body to show how ‘healthy’ you are (just as skinny but slightly more muscular) does not seem like recovery to me.

Like in all honesty I genuinely hope these girls are actually recovering and doing better. I’ve had an ED. It almost killed me. It’s something that haunts you for the rest of your life. But if your recovery content is actively triggering for people with ED’s I have a hard time seeing it as genuine recovery.

#I will not name names because struggling with mental illness #in a very public way that can influence other people #is kinda shitty but not a crime and not worthy of public shame #but #exchanging anorexia with orthorexia is not recovery #and you’re actively hurting other people’s recovery with your content #I just think it’s very telling that not all but the majority of recovery focused influencers are still very skinny attractive white girls #tw ed #tw disordered eating #instagram #social media #weight loss #diet culture

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dozydawn · 11 months

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series about royals are tired & i don’t even watch tv rn but as long as sibling tv is hot why not a series about victoria, carl philip, and madeleine of sweden. pitching this one for free.

from a costuming standpoint, there’s good opportunity to appreciate mid 90s to early 00s eveningwear (some of which inspired the princess diaries beat for beat)

from a dramatic standpoint, heirs & spares is done to death, but one of the spares was heir for a brief time until a change in constitutional law which... makes it a bit more interesting (especially when their father disagreed with the change)

“King Carl XVI Gustaf objected to the reform after it occurred—not because he objected to women entering the line of succession, but because he was upset about his son being stripped of the crown prince status he had held since birth.” (shh he’s just 7 months old he doesn’t even have to know if we don’t tell him)

two specific moments i’d like to see recreated are the receiving of victoria & madeleine’s 18th birthday tiaras. the ugliest little rinky dink starter pieces but i like them.

#additionally victoria’s struggle & recovery from her ed if handled correctly but we’re already pipe dreaming #shows about royals can’t even recreate the tiaras right & adult animation doesn’t exist as a real medium in the west i’m pulling my hair #crown princess victoria #princess madeleine #prince carl philip #siblings #original

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stargirl1331 · 2 months

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The thoughts I’ve had today on my body, a positive list

When i twist my hips the skin creates a wrinkle and i saw that and thought of those old statues of Aphrodite (this one specifically) and how sad it is that something that wonderful, something mirrored in human art from centuries ago, mirrored in the divine, can be hated.

I have a spine and that’s amazing.(the thought was actually “I forgot how wonderful it is to have a spine” while looking at myself in a mirror which is so random. I’ve had a spine my whole life this isn’t a new development????)

Stretch marks are where the love I hold grew too fast for my skin and had to show through in spots because there was so much of it. Also they are so totally normal and it’s silly that people think they are ugly or just for pregnant people cause dude what.

I can’t see my collarbones and much and I love collarbones and now it’s just like a little secret but not really. You see them when I move a certain way. It’s a game of peek a boo with my bones

My elbows are less stabby. Better for hugs. Also why on earth do I have an extra elbow point but it’s cool and fun.

Not my body per se but who the fuck decided that “they look like they give nice hugs” is a backhanded compliment and rude because I refuse. Shut UP hugs have nothing to do with weight or whatever you’re trying to point out I’ve decided it means they have a nice smile and their eyes crinkle the right way. They look like they’d give you a hug and it would feel like home because they are a nice human. I feel like I could look like I give nice hugs when I smile.

Ankles are so interesting like my tendons have dissapeared a bit but also there’s that divot when I flex my ankle and how do you flex an ankle what is that even but they are so interesting

I like how the back of my ear feels where it meets my skull. It’s smooth.

Spines are so interesting why is there a line of indents down my back it feels so cool and makes me look like I have muscles or something but i don’t. I like my spine.

What is it with spines today?

Anyways what I’m trying to say is that I love my body it’s served me so well and it’s doing so good and I’m gonna keep fueling it;)

#guys i have no explanation for this #I swear I’m not on drugs my brain is just Like This #seeds in the garden #c how I circle #body posititivity #recovery is great #(I didn’t have a body or weight based ED I just struggled/struggle with the act of eating because food has Textures

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vitamingummybear · 5 months

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i admit it, it was a good day, i had fun, we're all pretty girls no matter our body types

#ed relatable #tw ed diet #th1gh g@p #tw ana diary #ana struggles #ed vent #ana weightloss #ed not sheeren #ed recovery

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recovery-is-possible · 2 years

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Short heads up, if you tag your pro ed post with "pro recovery" but it still contains glorifying and triggering content, it will show up in the recovery tag bc you literally tagged it that way. Can you please stop? It's triggering af when looking for positive posts. Pls just stick to your own tags, it's really unfair.

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cruelests · 2 years

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1,2 grapefruit

wish i could change overnight

3.4 lose more

kill my obsession please die

5,6 hate this

how am i still in this fight?

#i cried so hard when i heard this song #really struggling with ed recovery i needed this i love tove sm!!#tove lo #grapefruit #dirt femme #listen #Spotify

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cryptic-healing · 5 months

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Time keeps slipping out of my reach. I regret every passing moment. I’m grieving the past and already grieving the future.

#art therapy #art journal #art diary #arfid #ocd #ed recovery #mental illness #mental health #junk journal #scrap booking #mixed media journal #mixed media art #feelings #sa survivor #anxitey #ana recovery #ana trigger #arfid struggles #arfid recovery

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fionna-cookie · 13 days

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So... I got invited to a weeding in July which is amazing and I'm so freaking happy for both.

It's my father in law and his girlfriend.

So I decided I need a fitting dress. I love gothic and renaissance stuff... So I decided on something special but this time I ordered it in navy blue and not black:

I was like: "Freaking hell... You look so fat after recovering from your ed..."

I was mad. Seriously. But you know what. Screw my thoughts and my bodydismorphia. I gonna wear this bc I want to and I think it's gorgeous!

I got curvy after recovery but I was before.

So why the hell should I hate myself for this. I had no life on eating nothing and purging. Now I got a new home,a job and love.

Sometimes I really need to remember to accept what my body is now. It's hard and I don't know if it will eber get better... but that is the same thought I had underweight until I recovered. So maybe... maybe also this will change.

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