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uncanny-tranny · 2 days
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Something that made hygiene-related things easier to do was to say "fuck it" to the concept of doing the thing at the Right time. My teeth do not understand that it is currently 02:00 or 15:00 and they're getting brushed. The skin on my face doesn't hold up a timepiece and say, "why haven't you washed me, twelve hours have elapsed and you haven't bothered to wash me!".
As someone who has had very intense experiences with my ability to do things at the Right time, throwing out those rules has been a game-changer. I used to shame myself because I didn't do something at the Right Time, so I just didn't do it, which would make me feel even worse. That's not a healthy way to go about anything. Accommodate for yourself. Throw out those rules.
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uncanny-tranny · 3 days
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You can have whatever opinions about drugs and public drug consumption - I don't particularly care, and this is not the conversation for that discussion, but I saw a sharps container in a public restroom and it was exciting. It was just there, and it's the first time I've seen something like it (they also had changing tables in the men's restroom, which is also great, but I've seen that a couple times).
You have to realize that proper sharps disposal is a matter of public health and safety. Not everyone is educated about how sharps disposal works and why it's important, but seeing as how you can be infected by Hepatitis B and C and HIV, you can see why it's so important. Nobody deserves to be exposed to that, regardless of if they're an addict or not. Everyone deserves to be safe, whether addict or sober.
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uncanny-tranny · 4 days
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happy transsexual thursday! i made an appointment to get my gender designation changed to M =)
=)
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uncanny-tranny · 5 days
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was wondering if you maybe had advice on sex as a trans man? like just generally and like with dysphoria and all that? if it's kind of personal or wierd no worries just delete this
Honestly, so much of this depends on some factors that you might want to explore if you haven't:
What do you want? What sensations - both physical or mental - do you seek?
Do you want (a) partner/s? What would be respectful for them to show you? For instance, what terms would best respect you?
What kind of sex are you even interested in? Are there certain acts you are interested in?
Now, you don't have to tell me this - sex is often a private and intimate discussion, even when it's to discuss something like helping dysphoria. These questions are important because they can help give you insight as to what would be best for you. For instance, it would be useless to give you information about sexual acts you aren't even wanting, especially if it causes dysphoria.
As such, I have some more general advice, coming from multiple different trans guys/transmasculine/otherwise trans people who have talked about what helps them:
Shutting off the lights or dimming them if the visual aspect makes dysphoria worse
When possible, keeping any part of you that is dysphoria-inducing (e.g., chest/pecs) clothed
When possible, using things like toys if physically contact causes dysphoria
Not pressuring yourself to do certain acts or wear certain things or use certain language that makes you dysphoric - even mildly so
Aftercare. After you are done with having sex, no matter what happened, do something to take care of yourself and recuperate. This might look like a bubble bath, some time to read or play video games, watching a movie, eating ice cream - it doesn't matter so long as it's something which is fun or calming for you. This can help keep sex as something more or less positive, or more positive, because you are intentionally making time for solely you (frankly, I think this can help before any sexual acts, but I understand some people don't have the time or foresight for that)
If you go through periods of sex revulsion due to dysphoria (which is incredibly common), don't force yourself to have sex. You aren't broken, and you deserve to prioritize feeling better before thinking about sex.
It is perfectly fine to use prosthetics, strokers (tool commonly used for bottom growth), or anything that empowers you to do what you want. Not every sexual assistive device is created equally, so I encourage people to do research and experiment whenever possible. If it doesn't work, don't use it, it's okay. But it's normal to use these things - human sexuality is inherently diverse, and the things you do to express it will be inherently diverse from others.
These tips are things you yourself can do, but I think these things are so so important if you plan to have sex with anyone else - regardless of their gender or any other factors:
Enforce your boundaries. Even the small ones. It is better to say, "no" to someone because they don't respect your boundaries than to let it go and having a sexual experience you might regret. No is an answer.
When possible, have conversations with your partner/s about sex. Talking about what you want, how they can respect you, and what they want can clear up a lot of potential for miscommunication. This is especially important because dysphoria is often very subjective, so making sweeping generalizations about makes people dysphoric and how they respond to it is unhelpful.
Enforce. Your. Boundaries. I can't stress this enough, especially as I was someone who didn't enforce boundaries and now have some regrets (which didn't threaten my safety, thank gd)
I know this is very general advice, but I hope it might give you any ideas. I don't want to assume what kind of sex you are seeking because - contrary to popular belief - trans man and trans male sexuality is as diverse as every other group of people. You can top as a trans man. You can give or receive a variety of sexual acts - anything under the sun! The only thing that might complicate a certain act are the tools and methods you employ to do them.
I appreciate you being vulnerable like this. There is nothing shameful about talking about sex or seeking communal advice. Trans man and trans male sexuality is important to me as well - I want trans men and trans people in general to be informed as much as possible, to do what's best for them. You deserve good sex. You deserve it to be positive and empowering - which sex can be. Contrary to the broader sex negative society, sex is neutral at worst, and it can, indeed, be a positive experience (and should, I think).
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uncanny-tranny · 5 days
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for transexual thursday I LOVE when people get confused about my gender so they call me both he and she because they can't decide lmao. I'm nonbinary and took HRT for awhile and consider this a smashing success
It's honestly kind of interesting to see how exactly people can blue screen right in front of you when you're like... even somewhat androgynous
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uncanny-tranny · 5 days
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Alright, today is Transsexual Thursday; put in the reblogs, tags, or on anon the things you have loved about your transness/transition/presentation/anything related to being trans! We can never have too much positivity about the joy of creation 💛
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uncanny-tranny · 6 days
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People who compare transition to self harm or use real people they know who've self-harmed as a metaphorical comparison to transitioning aren't making the gotcha they think they're making - they're just showing that they don't have the compassion or maturity to engage with either topic at even a conversational level.
And, frankly, it's infuriating as a person who does see those who self-harm as my equal who doesn't need to be used as a cudgel against another group of often vulnerable people.
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uncanny-tranny · 6 days
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So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.
Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.
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uncanny-tranny · 7 days
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The Cass Review coming out and the media frenzy surrounding it makes it feel like the world is falling apart around us. I'm very fortunate to live outside the UK at the moment, but my heart goes out to the trans people that are facing these current circumstances. It feels like the US will follow soon, and the rug will be pulled out from under us at any point.
How do we survive? How do I know if my friends will be okay? What if I fully transition just to be persecuted for the rest of my life? What will happen to us?
It's terrifying out here right now - if you have any advice on how you handle any of it, it would be greatly appreciated.
- a young trans person
I think so much of this relies on community support - you won't be alone in this, so you shouldn't live life alone in this. Regardless of potential intracommunity bickering, regardless of if we perfectly get along, no matter if someone passes or not, or has a complex identity or not, we all are affected by transphobia. We have to be in it together, to fight and support together.
Nobody knows, truly, what the next few years or decades are in store for us so, frankly, I think we invest as much as possible for the future, but also try to live. You don't just deserve to survive, you deserve to thrive. So whatever you do, I hope you're able to pause for even the briefest of moments. I hope you eat well, I hope you smile genuinely, I hope you laugh, I hope you dance. Fear and stress will literally kill you. I know for me, the stress I felt pre-transition absolutely would have killed me eventually - I don't wish that on anyone. It's absolutely reasonable to be scared about the future, I'm not saying it's not, but what I am saying is that you deserve a break. You deserve hope.
From a (perhaps slightly) older trans person: It can absolutely get better. Those tiny glimmers of hope that you cling to like diamonds won't be so few and far between. That sounds like absolute bullshit when you're on the receiving end of this, and I know that because I've been in that position, but something else that helps me through those "negative" feelings is this:
We survive. We have always survived. We have lost an unconscionable amount of people, but they won't be forgotten. No matter what happens, we keep surviving. The world cannot leave us behind without leaving behind swaths of humanity because we belong in the fabric of society. And something about that reassures me, because it is a reminder that we have existed and will continue to exist. And that means that we will outlive the hatred.
You're going to survive with us. In fact, I think you can thrive and not just survive, and I think that's something that doesn't happen in spite of the 'phobes, but rather it happens because you are an inherent equal person who is entitled to happiness.
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uncanny-tranny · 11 days
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When it comes to views about labour and compensating properly for labour, I think a lot of people become radicalized when they find out both that crochet cannot be replicated by machine, but also that you can find crocheted items - clothes, plushies, keychains, décor - for well under twenty dollars. While I think that's good, that people are cognizant of how labour is exploited, I worry that people won't apply that across the board.
Yes, crochet can't be replicated by machine, but also: workers who operate the machines for crafts that can be replicated (like knit) should also be fairly compensated. The reason the other crafts that can be replicated by machine are also cheap is because all of these workers are being exploited. The fact that crochet is all human-made just highlights that exploitation more prominently for some people.
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uncanny-tranny · 12 days
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Alright, today is Transsexual Thursday; put in the reblogs, tags, or on anon the things you have loved about your transness/transition/presentation/anything related to being trans! We can never have too much positivity about the joy of creation 💛
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uncanny-tranny · 14 days
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I'm trans nonbinary and I really kind of hate myself for it and feel like such a fucking freak and I don't even know why because I didn't even grow up around a lot of homophobia or anything. I let everyone assume I'm a (trans) man because in my head if someone found out I was nonbinary they would just think I'm so fucking wierd, even when I'm in spaces or with people I know for a fact wouldn't actually think any of that. I don't feel this way about anyone else, just me. I'm really sorry if this is too much of a vent kind of thing I totally get you deleting it or whatever, but any advice you have would be really great.
I want to preface this by emphatically saying: Nobody here (least of all myself!) are judging you. I am sure many trans people who are following this blog know how you feel intimately. It's a consequence of the world we live in, not an intrinsic failure of character. I want to make this clear because you were incredibly vulnerable and I don't want you to worry that your vulnerability is a bad thing. It takes a lot to open up like this, no matter if you're on anon or not.
I've talked about this before, but this is a process that takes... a long time to work through, if I'm honest. I've been out since I was a young teenager, and now as an adult I still fall into the trappings of feeling similarly to you. What helped for me is to generally avoid judging myself for when I do feel like this. I think trying to outright ignore how you feel is very inefficient - I have tended to be a person who needs to feel those awful feelings so that I can look back and notice exactly what went wrong. I wouldn't specifically recommend that you do this - I have had many years of combating internalized transphobia to feel this is effective for myself. But, regardless of where you are in your journey of internal acceptance, I will advise this: don't judge yourself for these feelings. It is easy to do, but you don't deserve to have even more feelings of shame, isolation, or overall feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.
Often, we won't know exactly "why" we feel these feelings of internalized transphobia. For me, I also didn't grow up with outright homophobia, but I did grow up with the idea that I would only be loved if I was cishet, so when I discovered I was neither, it was jarring. I thought I would never be loved. And years later, I became open to the idea that I might have been wrong because there were people along the way - friends, certain family, strangers, even - who showed the love I felt I surrendered when I realized who and what I was.
It has helped me to expose myself to other trans people, as well. It's a delicate balance, at times, because there are moments where I find myself growing envious of another trans person for the way I perceive their own transition. It's a natural response, I guess, a natural human response that is amplified when you are part of a group that is often maligned. But I have found that the pros outweigh the cons: I see trans people of all identities now, trans people who look like me, who have incredibly similar experiences, who taught me so much about what it actually means to love and be loved. It's funny, because I'm largely a trans man (with caveats), yet some of the people who have deeply impacted me forever weren't always the same as I am (in fact, one of the first true "I look up to this person" experiences was from a trans woman who I still to this day admire and look up to).
I'm not going to lie, this (how you're feeling) is an incredibly common, but sometimes devastating result of so many factors. While we all go about these feelings in different ways, it can be hard. Therefore, it's important that we support each other. I want to offer my support to you, and let you know that you aren't going to be looked at by others in the way you might fear. It's hard to even conceptualize, honestly, but I am being honest. I understand that some of what I might have said won't resonate with you now, or ever, and that's okay. When we have a community to talk about ideas as a way of support, we can start to have more resources that we might be able to utilize effectively.
Your vulnerability right now isn't going unnoticed. It took a lot to express this, and I hope you might read this and feel even slightly better. I wish nothing but good things for you, nothing but bountiful joy and understanding that you deserve so much from this world.
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uncanny-tranny · 15 days
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This is exactly it! Just because we will never "win" the battle (and "win" as in "be normal") does not mean we lost. In so many ways, it seems like people conceptualize "winning" mental illness as "you are, essentially, a completely normal member of society who has no specialized needs because of mental illness (who we now can write off even more)," and that's unfortunate
One thing that I always disliked about how people approach mental illness was to frame it as a grand battle, a battle you can lose to.
Obviously, this type of thinking absolutely gets applied to people who have gone through cancer, but I leave it to people affected by cancer to articulate how they feel about this, because it's absolutely not in my lane to talk about that part of this conversation. I talk about mental health because people (at least where I am at) also apply the logic to mental illness - especially if one has "lost" their battle.
It especially bothers me because in many cases, people conceptualize battle as something wherein both parties are full participants, that one participant can only win. Do you commemorate and respect the people who lose battles? Often not.
I know that many times, people use battle euphemisms in order to preserve dignity and (somehow) imply that the illness isn't their fault, but I just don't personally resonate with the idea that illness is something you "win" or "lose" at, that winning means something Grand, Big, and it's something which good people achieve. In my personal experience, it can feel like a battle, but it's completely different in how it operates as a "battle."
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uncanny-tranny · 15 days
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One thing that I always disliked about how people approach mental illness was to frame it as a grand battle, a battle you can lose to.
Obviously, this type of thinking absolutely gets applied to people who have gone through cancer, but I leave it to people affected by cancer to articulate how they feel about this, because it's absolutely not in my lane to talk about that part of this conversation. I talk about mental health because people (at least where I am at) also apply the logic to mental illness - especially if one has "lost" their battle.
It especially bothers me because in many cases, people conceptualize battle as something wherein both parties are full participants, that one participant can only win. Do you commemorate and respect the people who lose battles? Often not.
I know that many times, people use battle euphemisms in order to preserve dignity and (somehow) imply that the illness isn't their fault, but I just don't personally resonate with the idea that illness is something you "win" or "lose" at, that winning means something Grand, Big, and it's something which good people achieve. In my personal experience, it can feel like a battle, but it's completely different in how it operates as a "battle."
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uncanny-tranny · 17 days
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The thing that bothers me about solidarity is that it isn't a special treat, something you give - like a dessert to a child who's been acting well. Solidarity is a survival strategy. And sometimes, you'll find the most repugnant people out there, but if you want to survive, you have political solidarity with them. No, you don't have to be friends. You can despise them.
It bothers me when people say, "in a perfect world, I'd have solidarity with every minority, but I pick and choose," because you can be part of making a more perfect world.
I've met so many people with different minority statues who have horrific views and opinions. I've hated their guts. But I don't revoke solidarity and, ultimately, my advocacy for all of us because that only serves to divide groups.
This doesn't mean you have to personally interact with every person who has terrible opinions and advocates for Bad Things.
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uncanny-tranny · 19 days
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How do I know if I'm bi?
So this might not be a helpful answer, but it is my genuine thought, and I want to be honest: You know you're bi if you find comfort, or happiness, or understanding of yourself in that label. It's not necessarily about split attraction to multiple genders.
Yes, bisexual people will often be attracted to more than one gender (not just man and woman, either! Many bisexual people aren't attracted to both binary genders because bisexuality is yet another complex and nuanced component of human sexuality, which in itself is inherently complex). Yes, many bisexual people express those attractions, and yes, many bisexual people share things in common. But frankly, not every bisexual is going to have similar experiences or thoughts or expressions of sexuality. My bisexuality is going to look different than yours might because I am a different human being. As such, I think it's less helpful to say "to be bisexual, you need to have these experiences," but it's more helpful to say, "if you find comfort in the bisexual label, use it"
The worst that happens with sexuality labels is you find one that matches better. I used to use the label pansexual when I was younger - the worst thing that happened was I stopped using it a year later when I felt it didn't accurately describe my feelings anymore.
If you suspect you're bi, there's likely a reason for that, and there's nothing wrong with you investigating that further. However, I don't want you to feel like you need to Prove Yourself to even use language that accurately describes your sexuality or sense of sexuality - no matter if that language is as simple as saying you're bisexual or not. Sexuality is an important aspect of identity for many folks, and you deserve the opportunity to make it as important or inconsequential as you want. Nobody is going to throw you in jail for not being bisexual or queer "enough." There's no law that says you have to have a 50/50 split attraction to binary men and women only to be bi. There's no bisexual card we hand out to you, saying you've been vetted as Bi Enough.
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uncanny-tranny · 20 days
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I want to sincerely thank you for the time you have put into this. I am only familiar with the USAmerican system for trans healthcare, but frankly, it's imperative that we all learn about how each other's countries treat trans healthcare and trans people. If anybody has their own perspective from any country, it would be amazing if you would also include those, but of course, there's no requirement. I just think this information is so important. The way trans people who are foreign to you can (and often may) impact you.
How does one go about getting a t prescription?
How long does it take + how expensive is it?
Where would you even start, what type of doctor do you have to contact, does planned parenthood give people T prescriptions?
Sorry for the ask, I just can't access this information anywhere else
I need to start this post by saying: I - the person answering - am a USAmerican. I have no experience with getting testosterone in other countries, but I have researched other healthcare systems that are in place for trans healthcare. In my country, testosterone is a schedule III controlled substance, and you need a prescription from a doctor to legally possess it (I could rant for hours about how much I hate this, but this is the reality of how the US operates, apparently). I'll be sharing my experience since I know it best with the hopes that it helps - I am not legal or medical advice.
In many places, you will typically be referred to an endocrinologist, someone who specializes in hormones. It isn't unheard of for your primary care physician to order scripts for testosterone, but if they do, it's because they would be licensed to. Not all PCs can even prescribe testosterone in the US because it's a controlled substance.
I personally went through an online clinic in order to get my testosterone - which was needed for me because at the time, I'd had very few positive experiences with healthcare.
In terms of price, that depends on if your insurance will even cover the cost. I pay out-of-pocket, and for those paying that way, that can run (typically) between $150-$300. This also depends on what type of testosterone you plan on administering. I've found that IM injectable testosterone is cheaper than cream or gel testosterone - each method has their own pros and cons, and the prices vary drastically at times.
Planned Parenthood can be a great path for those who have the Planned Parenthood facilities that offer trans healthcare. Not all Planned Parenthood facilities will offer trans healthcare. And, indeed, I was planning on using Planned Parenthood, but the closest one that offered trans healthcare was over an hour away and later seemingly ceased offering that care, which would mean I might have had to drive three hours to the next one. That's a huge contributing factor as to why I chose a virtual clinic.
If you are comfortable with your primary care physician, you might be best helped by asking them. I'm sharing my experience, but this is by no means a comprehensive look into how you would access testosterone. Your needs, the care available, and where you live all impact how you'll get care, and the last thing I want to do is tell you to do something you can't.
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