#body dysmorphic disorder | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

warm-autumn-evenings · 9 months

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scars are normal. scars are a physical proof of your body’s ability to heal. scars make it known that you’re alive. you’re marked by life. the raised scars, the keloids, the scars people stare at you for. they’re a visual map of your life & nothing more. scars have no morality scars don’t reflect on the morality of your existence. media loves to portray scars on monsters and villains and leave the heroes to be unmarred, but that narrative does not apply to real life. you’re a whole human being worthy of being seen, loved, respected.

#body neutrality #body positivity #body image #healing #ed recovery #body dysmorphic disorder #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphia recovery #body image healing #self love #mental health #recovery #important

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bpdpotato · 1 year

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Being ugly actually ruins your whole mood, I can't even sit in peace without thinking about how disgusting I actually look.

#mentally ill #bpd tag #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #actually borderline #borderline #actually bpd #actually bdd #tw bdd #bdd things

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lostmf · 8 months

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I wish I could stop counting every bite ..

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bunnighost · 1 month

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#vent edit #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #ugly #avpd

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sunsetsandhope · 9 months

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daily reminder, food is not your enemy, the number on scale doesn't define you as a person, the size of your clothing has nothing to do with your personality, and if you struggle with ed, recovery, body image issues or body dysmorphia, i hope it will pass and one day it will become a distant memory for us.

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yearningsaphic · 6 months

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Does anyone else look in the mirror long enough and examine your features to the point where you start to get physically nauseous? Just me? Ok

#body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #body image #body image issues #tw body image #tw body dysmorphia #tw body issues #tw body talk #face dysmorphia #tw body insecurity #tw body mention

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aloevista · 10 months

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I wish it was normal to just wear a mask your entire life. Like a full face mask. I’m tired of people being able to witness how grotesque I look. I don’t even want to have to see my face when I look in the mirror because it ruins my entire day. I’d be so much happier if I could just hide it. While I’m at work, when I shower, while I sleep, I don’t want it to be possible for myself or anyone else to end up catching a single glimpse of it. I don’t know how my boyfriend can even stand to look at me, let alone love me, when he’s so pretty and I look like an actual monster

#bdd #tw bdd #body dysmorphic disorder #i don't actually have a disorder i'm just fucking ugly and its the truth

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goldtearsapollo · 1 year

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I often think about how I want to die… but I don’t really want to die, I just want to not feel like this. I just want to not be here in this reality where life is painful. I want to go somewhere else where everything is ok. I really want to live actually. I want to live and be happy… but I can’t.

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bunniibpd · 2 years

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it's a constant battle i swear

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honeypleasejustkillme · 1 year

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#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd shitposting #actually borderline #bpd problems #bpd vent #bpd mood #bpd favorite person #bpd #bpd fp #body image issues #body dysphoria #body dysmorphic disorder #gender dysphoria

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jewishrat420 · 1 month

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Eddie Munson doesn't know what he looks like.

Sure, when he looks in the mirror, he sees a guy with shoulder-length brown hair and brown eyes to match. He sees two arms and two legs and a scar-crooked smile.

He sees all the parts that he has, all the parts that he knows he's supposed to have.

And he's capable of recognizing that they belong to him. It's not like he thinks he's inhuman, some beast of otherworldly nature.

(At least, not on good days.)

It's just... well.

Sometimes, when Eddie looks in the mirror, all he can really see is his face.

Like, sure, he can see the rest of his body. He knows his face is attached to the arms and legs that he's capable of recognizing in some separate, distant sense at some separate, distant time.

But when he tries looking at himself as a whole (after buying himself a full-body mirror to hang on the back of his door), it's like his face alone is magnified a hundred times over.

Like all he can see are the hollowed-out sockets where his eyes sit, the heavy flush of his cheeks, how stark it is against the rest of his pale skin.

It's like he zoomed in too far and got stuck there, unable to refocus and look at the picture as a whole.

All he can see is each individual pore that travels like a lightning rod through his skin. All he can see is the curve of his nose and how big it looks when his brain doesn't recognize its place on the rest of his face.

It's like he sees each feature individually. His eyes are miles away from his lips, his chin and forehead a stretch farther than that of the sun to the moon. Hopelessly revolving around each other in the desperate attempt to cross paths, understanding the inevitable and fighting against gravity to change it.

He recognizes that he has a face. That his eyes and nose and mouth and cheekbones and pores all belong in the same place, on the same body, to the same person.

But it's like there was a wire cut somewhere in his head. Like the connection that reminds him that all those separate parts actually go together was severed. That reminds him he's more photograph than Picasso, less alphabet soup and more a well-structured sentence.

It's worse when he looks at his body.

Because there's so much more to it than to his face. There are so many parts, so many varied pieces that somehow fit together and make him the gangly, skeletal, off-center human he knows himself to be. The sack of bones and blood that moves when he tells it to.

He looks in the mirror and sees his arms, how they hang and where they fall. And then it seems like they keep going, and rather than focusing on where they end (just above the jutting curve of his waist), all he can see is how little space there is from the tips of his fingers to his feet.

And then his arms look ten feet tall, stretched out to fit the entire length of his body, and when he turns away from the mirror, he swears his nails are going to drag along the carpet.

He doesn't know why he feels like this, but he knows he's been this way since he was a kid. He didn't know it was any different than how everyone else felt, assumed in that childlike way that he was just like all the other humans on this planet.

And then, one day, Wayne told him he should probably trim his hair. Said it was getting real long.

And Eddie had looked at him, confused, because his hair hadn't really grown for as long as he could remember. Kind of just stayed the same length, always at the same place on his body.

So Wayne led him to the tiny, clouded mirror in the yellowed bathroom of the place he'd learn to call home, his calloused hands big on Eddie's shoulders. He'd trailed a path with his finger from Eddie's scalp all the way down to the middle of his back, drawing a horizontal line where his hair ended.

"See, Eds? S'all the way down your back."

And Eddie remembers seeing this, even today. Remembers how confused he felt trying to connect what he saw in the mirror with the image his brain was showing him. Fighting reality with his own imagination— a battle he would soon learn cannot be won.

Because his hair did fall halfway down his back, objectively.

But it was also three feet off the ground, too, and that's pretty high up.

So it must not have been too long after all.

Because it still didn't look long, not to Eddie, not until years later when he and his uncle would bring out one of the scrapbooks and he'd finally see what the rest of the world did, if only for a moment.

It was then that Eddie learned he'd never quite see the world the same as everyone else. The way it was meant to be seen, by people who were meant to see it.

He'll see what's really there, eventually, but only after that version of him is no more than a fleeting memory. Only after he's adjusted to the way he looks in the present, to the vision his distorted eyes show him when he enters the hallway of mirrors.

It gets worse with the scars.

Because now his brain has something else to play with. Something else that convinces him that the thing whose limbs move around when Eddie tells them to isn't actually the person he calls "himself."

That they're actually three separate entities:

Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson's body, and the Thing That Calls Itself Eddie Munson's Body.

Three separate things, none of which have ever existed in the same world, let alone in the same person.

It doesn't bother him. Not always.

He doesn't need to know what he looks like, as a whole, the way other people see him. That's not for him.

No, Eddie Munson's Body is for the people that turn away when they see it in the grocery store. For the people who will peer upon its pale face in an open casket and mourn the thing that was inside it. The thing that Eddie knows to be himself, the thing that's begging to be seen for what it is.

But there's not much that can be done about it.

And most of the people in Eddie's life are there for him, for his brain, for the thing that floats inside Eddie Munson's Body. They don't care about what it looks like, only that He's in there.

Still, sometimes when Eddie looks in the mirror, he thinks he sees it. Him.

Eddie inside Eddie Munson's Body, hidden behind the Thing That Calls Itself Eddie Munson's Body.

He thinks he sees it, him, buried somewhere deep. Small, naked, crouched in the corner. Shaking with its hands clasped in front of its chest like it's praying.

He wishes he could do something. Wishes he could reach in and grab it, hold it in the palm of his hand (the one that really belongs to him, the one that he can see) and nurture it until it's bigger than the Thing, bigger than the Body, bigger than the whole world.

Big enough to be seen.

But every time he tries, it disappears like sand between his fingers.

So he gives up.

He drags his nails on the carpet and cuts his hair when Wayne tells him to.

He fills the Thing That Calls Itself Eddie Munson's Body and plasters a smile on the face he thinks is his.

x

original post

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson character study #eddie munson has body dysmorphia #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #a bit of dissociation #eddie munson needs a hug tbh #stranger things eddie #eddie munson ficlet #eddie munson fic #eddie munson headcanon

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lavenderpilled · 3 months

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tips that I use when my body image issues get bad

- give it a name. don't say "i hate myself" or "my brain hates me." get rid of that connection to yourself and name it something stupid, like Bob. Bob says mean things just to be an asshole and bob is stupid and we don't listen to him.

- cover up mirrors. mirrors are not necessary for daily life, you don't need them making you feel bad.

- distract yourself. play a game, listen to music, something that takes you out of your body and doesn't remind you of it.

- practice body neutrality. jumping from "i hate myself" to "every part of me is perfect" is a very big and near-impossible leap, so instead make neutral statements about your body- try to focus on it's functionality, rather than it's appearance. examples include "my body helps me move around. my body allows me to think and feel. my body helps me interact with others." etc etc.

note that some of these work better in the short term and some work better in the long term, but whatever helps in the moment, helps. no shame in that.

#menhera #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder

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hop3wrlds · 1 year

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the yearning behind starvation.

in an attempt to articulate the mentality behind disordered eating.

warsan shire, from "home", bless the daughter raised by a voice in her head // jasmin lee cori, the emotionally absent mother: how to recognize and heal the invisible effects of childhood emotional neglect // susan cain, from bittersweet: how sorrow and longing make us whole // richard siken, from war of the foxes: birds hover the trampled field // emily palermo, from what i could never confess without some bravado // jess zimmerman, from hunger makes me // taylor swift, from you’re on your own kid // raymond carver, from late fragment // olivia laing, from the lonely city: adventures in the art of being alone // carrie fisher, from the princess diarist

#pro recovery #web weaving #word weaving #yearning #longing #comparitives #parallels #womanhood #actually ptsd #neurodivergent #bpd #body dysmorphic disorder #girlhood #ana kives 📂 ! !

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lostmf · 10 months

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I am losing sight of reasons to not kill my self

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bunnighost · 8 months

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#body dysmorphic disorder #ugly

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cluster-a-culture-is · 1 year

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some comparisons between disorders and symptoms

we've been meaning to write this for a while now, because we often receive asks that are like "how do I know if I have a schizospec disorder or (another disorder)?"

so, here are breakdowns of symptoms that affect thoughts, some things we'll take from the EASE for more officiality and clarity

intrusive and impulsive thoughts

intrusive thoughts are by nature aggressive, horrid, macabre, and/or sexual.

they're different from impulsive thoughts. impulsive thoughts are silly, usually fun, are things that wouldn't bring too much harm on yourself or others if acted upon. things you would realistically do in the spur of the moment. they are purely caused by impulsivity.

examples of impulsive thoughts:

thoughts/imagery of breaking some object

thoughts/imagery of sneaking up on a person to give them a scare

thoughts/imagery of impulsive buying, spending, etc

examples of intrusive thoughts:

thoughts/imagery of blood, catastrophes, death, etc

thoughts/imagery of harming yourself/others

thoughts/imagery of sexual harassment, violence, etc

intrusive thoughts are unwanted, cause distress, are met with resistance, and often with attempts to push them away

impulsive thoughts aren't necessarily unwanted, cause minor distress or no distress at all, aren't met with much resistance

intrusive thoughts are a symptom of many, many, many mental health issues and illnesses. though, they also happen in healthy people, occasionally.

the keyword is: occasionally.

when intrusive thoughts become frequent and constant, they become obsessions.

obsessions

obsessions are, simply put, ongoing intrusive thoughts.

they are repetitive, they won't stop showing up no matter how much resistance or attempts to ignore them is shown, and are cause of great distress.

they are often met with attempts to push them away, which can too become frequent and become compulsions.

compulsions are often present with obsessions, but not always, and the reverse is also true. obsessions are often present with compulsions, but not always.

obsessions are the defining feature of OCspec disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (both obsessive and obsessive-compulsive types, but not compulsive type) and body dysmorphic disorder.

ruminations

thoughts/imagery of any past event.

ruminations are frequent and ongoing as obsessions, but they're a bit different depending on the subtype of ruminations.

subtype 1:

the person is unable to find any reason for their tendency to obsessive-like states; they simply rethink and relive what happened during the day/past days – not motivated by perplexity, paranoid attitude, or sense of vulnerability or inferiority.

subtype 2

the obsessive-like states appear as a consequence of a loss of natural evidence, disturbed basic sense of the self, or hyperreflectivity, or they appear to be caused by more primary paranoid phenomena (suspiciousness, self-reference, etc) or a depressive state.

subtype 3

ego-dystonic, as in obsessive-compulsive disorders, with ongoing internal resistance, but a content that is not aggressive, horrid, macabre, or sexual. they're also categorised as true obsessions, but can have a different content.

subtype 4

obsession-like phenomena, which appear more as ego-syntonic (not met with resistance, or only occasionally), and with a content that is directly aggressive, sexually perverse, or otherwise bizarre. they often feature an imaginative character doing the actions, instead of the person who's experiencing the ruminations.

to make it clearer:

intrusive thoughts are unwanted, cause distress, are met with resistance, and often with attempts to push them away. they do not happen regularly, and often aren't a cause of concern, though they are distressing. everyone can experience intrusive thoughts, regardless of if they have a disorder or not.

obsessions are unwanted, cause distress, are met with resistance, and often with attempts to push them away. they happen regularly, often on a daily basis, and often are cause of concern. since they cause distress regularly, they're often basis for a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorders. again, if they don't cause distress, they're not obsessions, they might be ruminations or impulsive thoughts, or something else entirely. they are often, but not always, met with compulsions, rituals, or attempts to ignore them to neutralise the obsession.

ruminations are varied. they all have in common that they happen regularly, often on a daily basis, and they're thoughts/imagery of past events. they can just be (subtype 1); they can be in response to depression, hyperreflectivity such as anxiety, paranoia, suspiciousness, etc (subtype 2); they can be bizarre, met with resistance and distressing as obsessions, but of a different content (subtype 3); they can be of the same content as obsessions, but without the same resistance and without being distressing (subtype 4). though, they can also be met with compulsions, rituals, or attempts to ignore them. they can happen in any disorder, but especially subtype 1 can... just happen, even in healthy people. subtypes 2-4 are frequent in schizospec disorders. subtype 2 is also frequent in other non-schizospec disorders such as anxiety, depression, etc.

#cluster a #stpd #schizotypal pd #szpd #schizoid pd #ppd #paranoid pd #schizospec #schizophrenia spectrum #ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder #body dysmorphic disorder #intrusive thoughts #obsessions #ruminations #long post

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