hel7l7

[hel7l7]

I'm not gonna forgive you

#vent art

[hel7l7]

it was his fault not mine

#vent art #csa tw #sa tw

[hel7l7]

You haven't changed at all

#vent art #venting #mixed media

[hel7l7]

Why didn't you?

#it's crazy what questions people come up with when you tell them you're a (c)sa survivor #it is just hard to grasp #i get it #but just #don't blame me plz #i never asked for it either

[hel7l7]

I think I'm ready to cry about it

#healing

[hel7l7]

I wanted to hear you say it was ok.

#vent art #venting #mixed media

[hel7l7]

I start missing you as soon as you're out of sight

#vent art #venting #mixed media

[hel7l7]

On days like this, everything is too much

#venting #mixed media #mental illness #overwhelmed #ptsd #cptsd #trauma healing

[hel7l7]

I’m in that weird stage of healing from smt where things are new and good. But the fact that it feels new and different terrifies me and makes me spiral into some sort of crazy panic mode because I just want control….

What I had in the past was not better than what is now. Repeat. I am only comfortable in chaos because it is what I know best. Repeat. I can learn to get used to a new version of me and it won’t always feel scary and uncomfortable. Repeat.

#i tend to just want to run back to whatever self destructive thing i am most craving #i am not gonna call them #i am not gonna hurt myself #i am going to be kind to myself and take care of me #tomorrow is a new day and all this uncomfortable stuff will pass #everything always changes #it is ok if I need some time to adjust to changes even if those changes are positive

[hel7l7]

Didn't you think I already blamed myself enough for this?

#vent art

[hel7l7]

Why didn't you notice? Why didn't you listen?

#vent art #venting #trauma #ptsd #csa #cptsd

[hel7l7]

I can't explain how bad this hurts

#vent art #venting #mixed media

[hel7l7]

I keep dreaming about you

#i love this for some reason

[hel7l7]

I never asked for this either

#self reblog #lol #I couldn’t post this one on insta bcs it went against the guidelines #someone explain

[hel7l7]

I never asked for this either

[hel7l7]

I keep telling myself it was not that bad

#vent art #venting #mixed media

[hel7l7]

why should I believe you now?

#vent art #venting #mixed media