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magicalsweetsdefendor · an hour ago
A fun little community of starkids
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ofmoonbeampie · an hour ago
im a starkid twt member i feel like im the big bad wolf blowing walls down with my cw's when im on here despite the fact that i have only posted once on tumblr
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thetimebastard · an hour ago
when your computer restarts itself and you lose incredibly long and intricate tags you wrote on a really amazing post 😔
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totally not me starting watching a starkid show at a time where i should literally be doing anything else:
oops i did it again
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ashowstoppingstarkid · 2 hours ago
I'm now wondering how Tom would react if he somehow found out about Linda and Jane lol
Oh lord- y'all are asking me to hurt Tom a lot lol. So we'll do headcanons on this for now, but if enough of you insist I will make it into a oneshot.
- Emma's the one who lets it slip
- Probably through a joke
- She was off her guard
- He'd just be stunned
- Because Linda Monroe???
- Really???
- THATS the real Jane???
- He's married the real Linda???
- But like
- He realizes it doesn't really matter
- Because he married that woman because of the relationship they had.
- Not because of her name.
- Still... it is a bit funny
- He teases Emma about how she's not Tim's aunt anymore
- But he's only joking
- Because Emma grew up as Jane's sister
- It may not be biological, but she's Tim's aunt at heart.
- He actually tries to reach out to Linda
- You know, see what things would have been like
- Linda is reluctant but does it
- Tom is even rougher than Emma, but she likes him
- He actually even invites her and the kids to Christmas that year
- And she accepts.
I love this headcanon now. At first it confused me, but y'all have forced me to expand it and now it has grown on me.
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ashowstoppingstarkid · 3 hours ago
Headcanon: tom is lex and hannah's real father
Oh man-
- I always say this with Pam
- Because I firmly believe it's canon
- It was a one-night stand
- Except it happened twice
- Tom genuinely got so drunk that he mistook Pam for Jane.
- Honestly Pam and Jane could be related
- So it could have been at a family party.
- Pam knows.
- But she doesn't tell Tom
- Because if she told Tom, he'd financially support the kids
- And be all over her as to where the money is going.
- Government money is so much easier.
- But they all do find out one day
- Once Pam's in jail
- She tells them to spite them.
- Thinking Tom is a burnt out loser
- Lex has honestly never been more relieved
- Because she knows her dad is a great person
- Tom is... overwhelmed
- Because what the hell????
- When did he have sex with Pam Foster????
- But he immediately takes the kids in.
- Because they're his.
- He may be a single dad
- Because Becky isn't living with him yet
- But he has to make it work
- Tim loves his new sisters
- Living with Tom convinces Lex and Hannah to stay in Hatchetfield.
- They're the most wholesome family and I love them.
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ashowstoppingstarkid · 3 hours ago
"Who the fuck is Frank???"
Jeff Blim, also during a songwriting lesson (you don’t get the context for this one either)
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stormcloudsandshadows · 3 hours ago
…. So that scene in tgwdlm. Where Ted is fighting with everyone when bill wants to go. 1: Ted absolutely is showing that in his own way he cares for bill and doesn’t want him to die. 2: when Emma calls him a creep and he claims that there are only those that are alive and those that are going dead… and the whole scene and everything from when they get to the bunker really, he’s lapsing back on his coping mechanism of “be an asshole so you don’t get hurt” like he reinvented himself after the thing with Jenny. He’s falling back harder and more unhealthily into the one mindset that has kept him safe for years.
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thankdeadgodman · 3 hours ago
Junior art :D
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stormcloudsandshadows · 4 hours ago
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Ted, E1 kin list.
Ted in a small moment of not being a sleazeball. My guess is Charlotte told a joke
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baristablues · 4 hours ago
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DON’T    YOU    YOU   KNOW    I’VE    𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒     BEEN    THIS    WAY ?      [    . . .    ]      I    LOOK     TO     YOU     THROUGH     THE    WORK    WEEK ,    AND   I    LOVE     A    MAN    IN    𝑼𝑵𝑰𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑴 ,     ‘CAUSE    HE   LOVES    ME    LIKE    A    𝚂𝙻𝙾𝚃     𝙼𝙰𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙴 .       ©
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violetwolfraven · 5 hours ago
A Phone Call
((If this doesn’t line up with the canon timeline or is out of character just consider it a new timeline of the destruction of Hatchetfield. I’ve only seen Black Friday once, give me a break.))
I don’t know why I came up with this. Just did, I guess. Time for FEELS! Based on my response to this post!
“Things are getting crazy out there, John,” Xander muttered, barely looking up from his phone, “Sensors confirms there’s a Wiggly somewhere inside the White House already. You should get going.”
“I w—“
At that exact moment, of course, John’s phone had to ring. And normally he’d just leave it for later, but that number...
“I have to take this.”
“But John—“
“It’s my parents.”
“Oh, yeah, you should probably take that.”
“I’ll be quick and head straight there as soon as I’m done. Get the portal ready. I’ll be back with the president by 1400 hours.”
He took a second to step into a side hallway, answering the phone.
“I’ve got some important shit to do. Can I call you back later?”
“There might not be a later, the way it’s looking out there, John. It’s getting so dangerous, the entire world’s taking notice. Your aunt’s still got contacts in the Russian government; she says they’re strongly considering nuking the US as damage control, to keep the crazy contained.”
John shrugged, “Well, keeping the crazy contained is my job. The US isn’t gonna get nuked, Pops. Nothing bad’s gonna—“
“Nope! Don’t say that! We taught you better than that, son. If you say nothing bad’ll happen, something terrible will happen immediately afterward.”
“Right,” John nodded, “Of course. Not gonna say it, Dad.”
“You’d better not.”
“Give the damn phone back, O. Goddamn speaker phone means he can hear us both without you stealing the thing.”
John waited until the sounds of his parents scuffling over the phone had quieted down before speaking again.
“I have to go convince the president of the United States to jump into a portal to another dimension. Can we please save this conversation until after that?”
He heard his pops sigh, “Yeah, we should probably let you go do your job. How’s Xander, by the way? You haven’t brought him by in so long. Actually, you just haven’t come home in a long time. John, you really need to—“
“Oh fuck, I’ve turned into my mother. She always told me this would happen.”
“Xander’s fine. I’ll bring him next time I visit. But he’s waiting on me to go save the country. Dad, Pops, is there anything urgent you need to tell me?”
“Just the obvious,” Dad answered before John’s other parent could say anything, “We love you. Stay safe.”
“Don’t do stupid shit like we did back in our glory days!” Pops added.
“Yes, that too. And what was it we told you back when you first joined PEIP?”
“That old saying doesn’t make any sense, Dad. You two changed your names and a grand total of 4 people in the world know you’re still alive.”
“Hey. Spies is something beyond your name, or even your job. It’s something that’s a part of you. Your pops and I have it, and we passed it on to you.”
“You know I’m not technically a spy.”
“Yeah, we know, son. Now go—shut up, Curt—go make us proud, John.”
“He always does, Owen. Love you, sport.”
John rolled his eyes, “Love you, too. I’ll come home as soon as this mission is over. And... tell Aunt Tatiana to use any pull she still has to keep the Russians from bombing us.”
“Will do. Remember, John. Spies never die.”
“Spies are forever. Got it, Dad. Bye.”
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stormcloudsandshadows · 5 hours ago
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Wiggly, G2 Mwah
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Thinking about how in tgwdlm it's referred to as 'the last remaining story to tell' but was actually the first hatchetfield story we got
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losingvienna · 5 hours ago
robert manion john mulaney ranboo
🤝 🤝
look at that high waisted man he got feminine hips!
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atty-goldstein · 6 hours ago
Okay so I read a little story and now my brain is like: What if the Lords in Black actually all used to be benevolent deities, who maybe also looked different and more human-ish like when Webby appears to Hannah, or just more like Webby in general, who gave gifts and abilities to the early people in Hatchetfield.
But then the humans took advantage and got abusive and caused harm to the brothers so they transformed into their mutated monstrous forms and started taking back their gifts and causing strife to the people of Hatchetfield. And only Webby stayed good, only the people gifted by Webby remained gifted.
The Lords in Black didn't find that acceptable. So they made witches, corrupted them with their evil, made them the targets of the rest of the town. They convinced the town that anyone with special abilities were evil.
Webby had to convince people the ones she blessed weren't, but the witches grew too powerful, especially Willabella Muckwab, so she had to sacrifice those she had gifted to contain the evil. She had to appoint Hatchet Men to strike down the gifted ones and plant them, to spin her web.
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thetimebastard · 6 hours ago
ive really only been listening to starkid songs for the past 2 months (with only a couple of other songs in there, seriously), but my brain is legally requiring me to listen to Hamilton songs since i have to read writings by Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson for my class 😔 
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hatchetfieldtheories · 6 hours ago
Ridiculous Hatchetfield theory: when droid23 threw the real Emma into the lake, her sould grew restless and angry until the waters and the anger turned her into something else that transcended humanity... Wiggly.
Holy banana peels batman! I bloody love this.
"Kill the witch!"
"Kill her!"
"Fools! All of you! I curse this town! Its earth, its waters, its air, its fire! Let it feast itself on my resentment."
"Forever and Always!"
"We made a vow!"
"Forever... and.."
That's all Emma remembers before the knife was plunged into her chest.
She was dead, she knew that much. She was dead and cold, surrounded by swirling water, plastic and chains.
She wasn't sure how she knew this. Surely if she was dead she shouldn't be conscious? Perhaps she was a ghost?
A restless spirit inside a body that was no longer fit to house it.
She felt herself outside her body. Looking down on mound of tarpaulin and metal sinking to the bottom of the lake.
She saw as the water began to swirl around her body - dark and dense. As she felt the movements, the voices began.
"Don't you want revenge Emma Perkins?"
"Make a vow Emma"
"Forever and Always?"
The voices kept going. She didn't recognise any of thrm but the more they repeated these lines the more she began to give in to their words.
"Don't you want revenge?"
"Make a vow Emma."
Forever and Always.
Her body had hit the bottom of the lake and she felt herself return to her body. She gasped as she opened her eyes, seeing around her. The plastic covering her skin turning green and fibrous where it mixed with algae. The chains binding her, shrinking and becoming tentacle like.
The lake around her somehow became impossibly blacker, as the water washed reality away from her. A new reality taking shape in the darkness.
Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense
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