#could totally just be losing my voice for unrelated reasons

[remma-demma]

Idk if I’m going crazy because it’s only been one week on T but I do feel like I’ve lost the highest register of my voice. I was a soprano so it’s only the A5 + range but. Strange.

#I was singing a wicked song and I was like. oh. suddenly fiyero’s part is easier than elphebas #hrt #my post #obviously above that it wasn’t great but I could probably like. idk #c or d 6 #could totally just be losing my voice for unrelated reasons

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 9: Something So Brand New

Summary: Theo makes good on her promise to Loki, and shenanigans ensue.

Author's Notes: So this is a longer chapter than I usually post, but given it all takes place during the span of one evening it didn’t make sense to split into two chapters. If you love Loki/Theo interactions, you’re in for a treat here. There’s also Brodinsons and Wanda/Theo friendship building as well. 

I’m *hoping* to post my next chapter on December 10, but I sense that we’re about to hit a rocky patch at my job as a series of stressors all collide (aka shit’s about to hit the fan), so I’m going to give myself a one week buffer and say that the chapter will be up by no later than December 17th. It’s written, but I’ve found that I like to go back and do an in-depth editing pass before posting that usually takes at least a few hours… Essentially, I would rather underpromise and overdeliver than say I’ll post something and then just… not. 

Oh, and RE: shit hitting the fan at work - I’m not worried about myself amidst the work stuff (I’m not about to lose my job or anything). I'm worried about the students I work with and how they’ll handle everything… And since my job is supporting said students, I imagine I’ll probably have my hands full. I’m intentionally being vague for privacy reasons, and in hopes that it doesn’t blow up so my concern is pointless. 

Completely unrelated, but I saw The Maine live last week and they opened with this song! They put on a great live show. 10/10 do recommend. 

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: Alcohol/Drinking (including getting a bit too drunk). 

Word Count: 9,384

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Dose No. 2 - The Maine

First breath out of a coma Over and over Oh what a lovely view of you  A two step into disorder I stumble forward Towards something so brand new

“Hey, uh - some of us are going to hang out up on the roof tonight. Want to join?” 

Ever since Theo relented to Loki’s begging (and though he wouldn’t admit it, he totally begged her to join them), a foreboding sense of dread hung over Theo like a storm cloud, waiting for this very moment. A night of forced socializing and feigned pleasantries as the other Avengers tried not to make their suspicions about Theo painfully obvious - Theo would rather watch paint dry.

Across the threshold, hope radiated through the smile on Wanda’s face. She stood with hands in hoodie pockets, jeans and birkenstocks completing the Scarlet Witch’s look for that day. The outfit surprised Theo - from observation, Wanda only wore pants when working out, opting for skirts and dresses in daily life. Theo would have confidently bet real money that Wanda didn’t even own a pair of jeans.

Then again, it wasn’t the first time Theo was wrong, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Every possible excuse percolated in Theo’s mind for why she couldn’t join - lying about having plans, claiming she was tired or didn’t feel well, even outright admitting she didn’t want to go – but then Loki’s voice interrupted her thoughts, reminding her about the deal she struck.

And, well, after reading about the aftermath of Ultron and Sokovia, Theo realized they had more in common than she first thought.

“I— yeah, sure.”  Theo swallowed thickly, steeling herself for a miserable evening. She forced a smile at Wanda, praying that the expression didn’t look as uncomfortable as it felt. “I’ll join - let me grab a couple things first.”

Wanda’s face lit up, eyes wide as planets as she processed Theo's answer. “Great! This is going to be awesome! Uh, you should probably grab shoes, and maybe a jacket - it’s still a bit cool out.” She babbled, still gaping at Theo.

Theo held up a finger, stepping away from the door before Wanda could continue. She grabbed a thick sweater to cut the breeze, toed on some sneakers, and plopped a beanie over her hair, pausing in front of a mirror to make sure she didn’t look like a total mess.

Wanda practically bounced down the hall, constantly glancing back to check and make sure Theo hadn’t abandoned her. Theo trailed behind, listening to Wanda recount the construction of the rooftop lounge and how this was the first year they actually could use the space, and how excited they were to finally have a nice, private outdoor space to gather. At best, Theo half-listened along, her pulse quickening with every step closer to their destination. 

As they stepped out onto the rooftop, it actually seemed like the perfect night to enjoy a city skyline and a cold drink.

A fully stocked bar stood along the far end of the roof, while plenty of outdoor seating offered opportunities for everything from lounging around to enjoying a meal. The space even featured a fireplace table and heat lamps for cooler nights, which already had been turned on to cut the chill. True to the Stark aesthetic, all of the furniture came in muted tones and clean lines, sharing design language with the indoor common areas.

The other Avengers had settled in among a series of outdoor sectionals, some standing around the periphery while others gathered near the bar. As they drew closer, Theo realized that the company for the evening consisted of not only Avengers Tower residents, the Avengers who resided elsewhere…

Oh god, when Theo caved to Loki’s request, she had not expected it to play out like this; she thought it would be a movie night, or going out to dinner. Not everyone and their mother staring at her.

As if she sensed Theo’s nervousness, Wanda grabbed Theo’s hand and smiled at her, pulling her towards the larger group.

With every step, Theo braced herself for an icy reception, all the while building up the courage to put on a brave face. She met everyone once, that first day when she was announced as an Avenger - maybe twice, if she counted the briefing that she crashed - so at least there were no new faces.

Small blessings, she supposed.

Wanda didn’t go of Theo’s hand until they reached the edge of the group. It only took Wanda a moment to find Vision, standing behind one of the sectionals as he chatted with Shuri about something very science-y. Vision casually wrapped an arm around her, listening intently to Shuri, who gestured animatedly as she responded. 

Nearby, King T’Challa sat tall, dressed in a hybrid of western and African clothing with shoulders squared back as he conversed with Natasha about the United Nations and Wakanda. He spoke with a measured cadence that indicated he put great thought and intent into his words. On the opposite side of Natasha, Yelena slouched back in her seat, scrolling through her phone while laughing at something on screen. 

Not far from Yelena, Peter Parker told Tony about school and the latest device he was building. His enthusiasm struck Theo, and she caught herself smiling as she noticed the way Peter mirrored Shuri’s animated gestures, hands flailing wildly as he attempted to describe the contraption. Colonel Rhodes listened from the other side of Tony, with open posture and head tilted to the side, nodding along patiently… It was quite the contrast, especially next to the borderline manic tendencies of Tony and Peter’s unbridled enthusiasm. 

Nearby, Bruce spoke with Dr. Stephen Strange - a tall, thin man whose expression was entirely too serious and his posture uncomfortably rigid, which, if Theo thought about it, made sense for a former neurosurgeon. Sharon Carter chatted with Steve, Sam, and Bucky, laughter regularly erupting from the quartet; apparently, they were familiar with each other and had a lot to catch up on. 

Clint looked at home behind the bar with Scott Lang, snippets of conversation about their kids floating over the other conversations as they prepared drinks for everyone and brought them over to the group. 

Loki and Thor sat in deep discussion with the Valkyrie (or, as Loki often called her, Val) about something related to New Asgard; seeing a Valkyrie in a chunky sweater and Timbalands still threw Theo for a loop, but she knew that different people would adapt different aspects of life on Earth. 

Thor noticed Theo standing there, bewildered at the sight of everyone in one location.

“Lady Theo!” Thor exclaimed, standing to greet her. “Welcome to your first family night!”

Wait - did he just say family night?

Theo could practically hear the world screech to a halt as everyone fell silent, gaping at the new addition. Her heart stuttered in her chest as she froze in place, a veritable deer in the headlights.

“Brother—“ Loki hissed, rolling his eyes as he elbowed his brother. “Do not overwhelm her.”

“Uh… hi?” Theo cringed at how pathetic she sounded. “Sorry, didn’t mean to disrupt.”

“No apologies necessary - come, take a seat.“ Loki offered Theo a reassuring smile as he gestured for her to sit next to him. 

“Watch out, the prince is rescuing Rapunzel.” Tony teased, a smirk on his face as he raised a glass to her.

“Watch out everyone, Stark is jealous that a woman is not racing to offer herself up to him,” Loki retorted, sarcasm dripping from his voice. 

Raucous laughter came from Loki’s response; even Theo giggled as she sank into the cushions beside him. Loki, in turn, flashed a smirk and winked at her, before effortlessly folding Theo into the Asgardians’ conversation. Without needing to ask, Scott brought Theo an old fashioned, which caused a rush of gratitude to flood Theo’s veins.

The alcohol wouldn’t have much of an effect on her, but having something to occupy her hands with was always appreciated.

Likewise, the others returned to their conversations. Over time, topics shifted and incorporated other people, slowly snowballing as everyone tuned into the larger discussions.

At one natural lull in conversation, Loki went to refill his drink, leaving a vacant spot beside Theo in the process. He barely made it behind the bar when, with a whoop, Shuri leapt over the sectional and claimed the seat as her own. “Ha ha!” Shuri’s face was smug as she shimmied into the cushion, crossing one leg over the other as she stretched her arms along the back of the seat. “This will make a lovely throne.”

Despite the stutter of her heart from Shuri startling her, Theo couldn’t help but laugh when she caught T’Challa rolling his eyes at his sister.

“Excuse me, that was my seat!” Loki scowled, gesturing wildly to where he previously sat.

“Not anymore.” Shuri stuck her tongue out at him. “Besides, you speak to Theo all the time. It’s my turn.” 

The latter part of Shuri’s comment nearly made Theo choke on her drink - up until that point, hardly any attention was paid to Theo’s presence. Was that about to change?

“You are lucky I like you, princess,” Loki rolled his eyes, but let out a breathless laugh and shook his head. “Or else I might banish you to an alternate realm.” His threat lacked any teeth; if anything, it came off as a joke. He offered Theo a reassuring glance and the slightest nod, as if encouraging Theo to trust that Shuri wouldn’t make it weird.

Theo masked her nerves with a sip of her cocktail, allowing the notes of smoke and citrus to coat her tongue. 

If Shuri noticed the interaction, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she struck up a conversation about a funny tiktok trend that made her think of Theo, eventually morphing into a conversation about medical technology.

Seat stealing, however, was only the prelude to a series of hijinks during the evening.

It started innocently enough. A few drinks into the evening, Tony entertained the team with one of his tales about inventions gone wrong - this time, DUM-E had sprayed a visiting SHIELD agent with a fire extinguisher instead of the computer that actually caught on fire. 

While he rambled, Wanda glanced over and made eye contact with Theo. Wanda rolled her eyes before mouthing, “Want to see something fun?”

Theo nodded, curious to see what Wanda was going to do. 

A moment later, Tony reached forward to grab his drink and take a sip of it, only to stick his hand through the glass…

Where a nearly empty cocktail previously sat was nothing more than an illusion. 

Theo’s eyes darted to Wanda, who stood behind Tony sipping his drink. Theo had to bite back a laugh as Wanda grimaced and shook her head, not a fan of whatever Tony had in his lowball. 

“What the hell happened to my drink?” Tony whipped around, looking to see if someone had hidden it. His eyes settled on Loki, who glanced around at the others as he held his own drink, casually taking a swig. Either Loki hadn’t noticed, or he was really good at keeping a straight face. 

“Reindeer games, I swear to god-”

“I thought we’d moved past such childish accusations.” Loki cocked an eyebrow at him, unamused. 

“He didn’t move, Stark. Chill.” Bucky defended the Asgardian prince.

“Well someone took it, and it wasn’t Captain Stick-in-the-Mud.” Tony retorted, looking around the group. The glass vanished from Wanda’s hand before Tony could see it, presumably returning to the table where it started. 

“Okay guys, this isn’t funny,” Tony whined, completely oblivious to his beverage’s return to the table. 

To her left, Theo caught Loki taking a large drink of whatever was in his cup to stifle a laugh – he knew exactly what Wanda was up to. 

Just then, Tony turned back around to discover his drink in its original location. He groaned, slouching back in his seat. “Anyone who wants to turn in their cape for stand-up comedy, just let me know.”

As he returned to his story, Wanda winked at Theo before sending her a text message– “So we have a game during family time...” 

Theo stared at the screen for a moment before typing out a reply. “Which is…?”

Wanda’s face lit up as she read the message; a playful smile pulled across her lips as she typed out a reply. “How many pranks can we pull off before one of us starts laughing.”

Suddenly, a message from Loki popped up as well. “The only rule is that no one should be harmed. Otherwise, it’s fair game.”

Oh. Apparently Loki was playing along too.

Another message from Wanda came in: “You want in?”

Tempting, but with her reputation…

“Sounds fun, but not sure…” Theo responded, “I don’t know that the others trust me. Pranking them might make it worse.”

“If anything, they’ll believe I am the perpetrator,” Loki assured her via text message. “My affiliation with mischief and trickery lends itself to suspicion.”

Not only did Loki speak like he just read a thesaurus, but he even texted like it.

Theo stared at the screen for a moment, weighing her options. On one hand, she could stand to loosen up a little and have some fun. On the other hand, pranking someone could go over like a lead balloon if the prank didn’t land well; she needed to be confident that whoever she pranked would not be upset if she partook.

By then, Sam launched into a story about his last trip to see his sister and nephews in Louisiana. Bucky had tagged along, in part because the point of the trip was to fix up the Wilsons’ boat, and Sam knew he’d need an extra set of hands. A pigeon waddled about on the roof, only a few feet from where Sam sat. Sam, however, was oblivious to the bird’s presence; he was too busy mimicking how Bucky stole Sam’s tools to fix a leaky valve instead of simply using his vibranium arm.

After over a month of listening to Julie pine endlessly over Sam and his down to earth personality, ass of a national treasure, and good-natured sense of humor, Theo swore she knew more about Sam than she knew about her own cousin…

An idea sprung to Theo’s mind. She set her glass on the table, casually lowered her hands out of sight, and whispered an incantation. 

“How do you know vibranium would hold up to the steam?” The pigeon asked, cocking its head to the side as it waited for an answer.

Sam nearly leapt out of his seat as his eyes bugged out of his head.

“Wait a minute, wait just a minute – please tell me you all just heard that.” Sam stared at the others as they all gawked at the pigeon. Theo, however, snatched her glass and took a sip of her old fashioned so she didn’t give herself away. “Did that bird just talk?”

“Falcon, I did not realize that your skill set included speaking to birds.” Loki answered without missing a beat. 

Theo nearly spit out her drink as she fought the urge to burst into laughter.  

“Hey, just because I’m called Falcon doesn’t mean I like birds.” Sam argued, a twinkle in his eye as he settled back into his chair. He must have known there was some magic at play; if Theo was lucky, he would not know whose magic created the illusion.

“I want some of whatever he’s drinking,” Theo pointed at Sam, pretending to be oblivious about the use of magic so she did not draw suspicion. “Because that must be some good shit.” 

“No,” Tony replied, “The good shit is the Asgardian stuff.” 

“That stuff will knock you on your ass unless you’re a god,” Sam agreed with a toothy grin and a nod. “Even the super soldiers get drunk on it.”

“Tony, I’m assuming you tried it?” Sharon asked, narrowing her eyes at the billionaire.

“Of course I did,” he scoffed, putting a hand on his chest, “I am a connoisseur - had to see if the hype was true.”

“Until you had the hangover from hell the next day.” Natasha pointed out, a smirk dancing on her lips while she crossed her arms.

“Please,” Tony retorted, “It barely holds a candle to the frat party from hell-”

“-in your second year at MIT.” Rhodes, Sam, and Steve answered simultaneously, all rolling their eyes.

Tony must have told that particular story a time or twenty before.

“Lady Theo,” Thor called from behind the bar. “I’m about to refill my beverage. Would you like to try some Asgardian ale?” 

Theo glanced over at Loki and raised her eyebrows at him, hoping he’d give her some sort of subtle cue about whether it was a good idea; he just smirked at her and winked. 

Not helpful at all.

Then again, the night had gone well up to that point…

“Sure, why not?” Theo replied with a short shrug of her shoulders. She assumed that he’d take a shot glass from the bar and put a little ale in the glass - it may fuck up a normal person, but that was probably only when consumed in large quantities. A small amount of the ale wouldn’t hurt, right?

What she didn’t expect was Thor to bring over a massive mug of ale, filled to the brim. 

“That’s alcohol poisoning about to happen,” Yelena cracked up as she saw the size of the mug. 

Nearby, the Valkyrie cackled. “Thor, remember that Midgardians can’t handle booze like you can.”

“My liver hurts just looking at that.” Bruce commented, letting out a nervous chuckle but shaking his head.

Well, whether she wanted to share or not, the Avengers were going to learn something new about Theo.

“Oh, that’s what healing magic is for. Healing your liver after alcohol damage.” Theo quipped, earning a surprised snort out of Tony. A surge of confidence rushed through her as she winked, glanced at the deep red, clear liquid, then took a drink.

Given the ale’s reputation, Theo expected it to taste like everclear - practically straight ethanol that burned when consumed. However, a delightful, complex blend of flavors - citrus, juniper, and caramel - coated her mouth. Only a hint of hoppy bitterness accompanied, but each flavor in the unlikely combination balanced the others surprisingly well.

Theo smiled and gave Thor a nod of approval. “That’s better than I expected,” she admitted before she took another drink. “I was expecting something that burned my mouth from the alcohol content, but this is downright pleasant.” 

“I bet you twenty bucks you can’t finish that.” Bucky challenged, a smirk spread across his features as he leaned back into his seat. 

Bucky had no idea what he was getting himself into.

“The bet is just that I can’t finish it? That’s boring. Of course I’m going to finish it.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. Sitting up a bit taller, she puffed her chest out in defiance and drank a large swig of ale.

“The real bet would be if she doesn’t throw it up afterwards – just because it goes into her system doesn’t mean she won’t get sick from it.” Steve pointed out, “Not that I think this is a good idea, mind you.” 

Remarks like that were probably how Steve earned the nickname of “Captain Stick-in-the-Mud.” 

Theo whipped out her wallet, throwing a $20 bill down on the table. “Game on. $20 bet that I can drink this and keep it all down.”

Bucky reached across to shake Theo’s hand before putting in his own $20 bill. 

Shuri and Yelena whooped in support, pumping their fists in the air. Bruce sighed as he shook his head and rubbed his temples. Steve rolled his eyes, while Clint smirked and shot Scott a look of well, this should get interesting. Peter’s eyes widened, despite furrowing his brow - he looked like he was worried.

What a sweet, sweet summer child.

Theo took another sip of the ale, then spoke up. “We need some tunes playing. It’s too quiet up here.” 

“Oh! I have some new music we can listen to!” Wanda jumped at the opportunity to hook her phone up to the wireless speakers. “It’s a local band that Vision and I saw last week. Theo, I think you’d like them – they sounded kind of like the music your band played.”

It was hard to imagine Vision at a concert, standing there with relatively stiff posture as other people were grooving to the music… He must have really liked Wanda to let her bring him to concerts. Did he like the same music as her?

Did he even like music?

Did androids have likes and dislikes? Or feelings? How did that work?

That was a rabbit hole to go down another day.

What sounded like some generic indie-pop music started to float through the air, but it was pleasant enough to be good background music. 

Loki sent another message – this time solely to Theo. “Are you truly planning to drink the entire mug?” Theo looked up at him, his eyebrow cocked up with skepticism and his chin dipped as he made eye contact.

“Maybe I am.” Theo replied, smiling at him and winking as his phone buzzed. 

Asgard wasn’t the only realm with particularly strong alcohol, and despite Theo’s small size she was no lightweight.

The group resumed their casual chatter. Wanda, Theo, and Loki continued to cast illusions and mess with the team in subtle ways, oftentimes struggling to maintain a poker face as the rest of the team grew drunker and drunker, and as a result became much easier to mess with. 

Eventually, Thor regaled the team with one of his latest adventures off-planet, voice booming as he gestured grandly about some battle he fought in. As the story started to near its climax, Theo caught the way Loki’s hand moved quietly to his side and twitched as he cast a spell.  

Theo’s eyes darted around as she tried to figure out what changed – it wasn’t until she looked up at Thor that she found her answer: 

Loki transformed Thor’s mug so it was shaped like a giant penis… while Thor drank out of it.

Wanda, who stood beyond Thor’s line of sight, lost it, face beet red and shoulders bouncing as she doubled over in silent laughter.

From what Loki previously shared, Thor reveled in sharing stories where he prevailed as the savior of the day. With that in mind, the choice to make Thor look absolutely ridiculous as he drunkenly extolled his heroism seemed like it was as much a jab at his self-importance as it was just plain old hilarious. Theo hadn’t taken Loki to be one for juvenile humor, but she had to hand it to him – it was well-played.

Even better, Thor didn’t even notice the change – he set the mug down on the table as he continued his story, and later on picked it up to take a swig to wet his throat. 

It didn’t take long before the others started to notice the mug’s new shape. The Valkyrie looked like she about to keel over; her shoulders shook so hard from silent laughter that if Thor turned around he’d know something was off. Natasha had to bite her finger to stop herself from breaking into laughter. Steve and Peter shared wide-eye, startled expressions, leaning away from Thor… who still hadn’t noticed.

The more time that passed without Thor noticing, the funnier the spectacle became.

Finally, Sam finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“Wow Thor, you’re really swallowing that ale like a champ.”

Tony choked, then spat out his drink while the people around him recoiled from the spray. Steve turned downright crimson with secondhand embarrassment, hiding his face behind his hands. 

“Yeah, you’re really gripping the shaft of the mug like it’s your job.” Bucky added, trying and failing to keep a straight face as Thor looked over at Tony and Steve, confused.

Theo’s eyes watered from trying not to laugh, and her jaw hurt from the muscle tension involved with maintaining her poker face.

“Dammit, I’m biting my tongue so hard to stop from laughing that it’s bleeding.” Wanda’s message popped up in the group chat, while Loki still effortlessly maintained a completely straight poker face and relaxed posture. 

“I thought you were a bit too high-brow for a good dick joke…” Theo added, fingers tapping the screen furiously as she replied.

“I know not of what you speak,” Loki answered innocently; he glanced over at Theo and winked, then followed his message with an eggplant emoji. 

Wanda nearly spit out her drink when she got that message.

Thor finally put two-and-two together as he looked down at his mug, then glared at his brother; however, he was laughing despite the glare, giant shoulders bouncing up and down. “Why must you taunt me so?”

“I hold no responsibility for this madness!” Loki protested, though the sparkle in his eyes told Theo that Loki knew he wasn’t going to convince them otherwise. “God of mischief I may be, but I’m hardly the only capable sorcerer on this team.”

“Well Theo’s been too busy downing some Asgardian ale,” Bucky commented, “And Wanda… Wait a minute. Wanda?”

They all turned to look at Wanda, who gave a deer-in-the-headlights expression as she pretended to be horrified. “The fact that you could imagine me doing this is mildly offensive,” she exclaimed, silently glaring at Loki. “Besides, Strange can cast spells too.”

Everyone looked over at Dr. Strange; one unamused eyebrow raise was enough to dispel any thoughts that he’d been the one behind it.

“Let’s be real – Reindeer games would be the one to make that joke.” Tony pointed out, “Which… well played, I’ve gotta say. Not much makes me spit out my drink like that.”

Loki smirked, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “You need to raise your standards, Stark.”

Steve, who was still mostly sober and desperate for a change of topic, looked back at Theo and noticed her nearly empty mug. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about finishing the ale.”

In turn, Theo downed the remaining ale and placed the mug on the table. “Yeah – It was good. But I’ve gotta say, for all the talk about how it will get me drunk, I still feel pretty sober. Are you sure you weren’t messing with me? This isn’t some fraternity-style hazing thing to bring a new team member on board?”

“No, my lady,” Thor confirmed, “That was genuine Asgardian ale. I must say, I’m impressed.”

Theo cast a glance over to Loki before sending a text. “You didn’t mess with this, did you?”

“I would never deny someone the opportunity to get drunk.” Loki looked dead serious as he sent the message, so she took his word for it.

“Well shit,” Bucky replied, his words slurring ever-so-slightly from his own alcohol consumption. “How about double or nothing – we each drink a mug of ale, and whoever is more sober at the end of the night gets $40.”

Steve tried to cut in. “Bucky, no –“

Bucky, yes.

“Deal.” Theo shook his hand again, confident that she was about to become $40 richer. Not only was Bucky already more drunk than her, but the Asgardian ale would only exacerbate the difference in their sobriety levels. 

He probably wouldn’t end up with alcohol poisoning, so it’d be fine. Maybe a hangover, but not alcohol poisoning.

“Now here’s the thing -” Bucky began, “- Before your mug can be refilled, you have to do the Asgardian call for another drink.” 

“Which is…?” Theo arched a wary eyebrow, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

With perfect timing, Thor finished his beverage and demonstrated by throwing his mug down on the ground, shouting “ANOTHER!” as the glass smashed against the concrete and shattered into a million pieces.

Theo gasped and nearly flew out of her seat from the noise, heart pounding in her chest. She looked at the glistening fragments of glass, then up at Thor, then back down at the glass.

.  

Thor failed to stifle his laughter as Loki rolled his eyes in the background; with a flick of his wrist, the shards of glass vanished in a flash of emerald light. 

“Yeah that’s going to be a hard pass from me, dude.” Theo shook her head, stood up and walked over to the bar to refill mug. While she was behind the bar, she also pulled out a fresh mug for Bucky.

“Oh no, you don’t get to pour – we need someone neutral to do it, so we know it hasn’t been messed with!” Bucky called out, shaking his head at her as he moved to join her at the bar.

“Well I can certainly be the judge of that.” Loki volunteered, his voice a cool contrast to the rambunctious shouting and cheering that echoed from the rooftop.

“You’re really letting loose tonight,” Loki’s message appeared on Theo’s phone. “It’s nice to see you relax a bit.” Theo blushed and cracked a sheepish smile.

Loki strolled behind the bar, took both mugs and filled them up. Once satisfied that each mug contained the same amount of ale, he handed one mug to Bucky and the other to Theo. He then filled a mug of his own before returning to the rest of the group.

“As the judge, I reserve all right to document any embarrassing moments for blackmail in the future.” Loki told everyone quite seriously.  Shuri cracked up and added that if Loki didn’t capture the evidence, she certainly would, and with how the Princess of Wakanda held her phone at the ready, Theo fully believed her.. Theo returned to her seat, noticing Shuri had saved her place; Bucky trailed close behind.

“You say that like I’m going to do something embarrassing.” Theo teased, holding her mug up to Bucky and Loki as if to suggest a toast. “To Bucky making one of the dumbest bets he’ll ever make.” 

“To the new girl finally gracing us with her presence,” Bucky replied with a wide grin, “and not realizing she’s about to lose the bet!” 

The rest of the group held up their glasses and clinked them together, after which Bucky managed to drain about a quarter of his mug in one swift drink. 

“I didn’t realize this was a chugging contest.” Bruce commented with a nervous laugh as Bucky set his mug down.

Theo, recognizing that rapid alcohol consumption would not help Bucky in the bet, snickered. “You can’t enjoy it if you chug it, you know that right?”

Bucky offered a coy grin in response, his cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol in his veins.

He really had no idea what he was in for.

And I feel alright (Feel alright) Yeah I feel alright, Alright… I let go This is something spiritual When I say so Give me life, give me love Leveled up on a higher dose No sorrow (baby this is chemical) Hit just like an antidote (can’t come down, down) Adios (give me, yeah give me) Give me life, give me love  Leveled up on a higher dose

This was certainly a different side to Theo than Loki had ever seen.

Her guard wasn’t up in the same way it was at Stark’s party, nor was she silent and reserved, as if it were a mission briefing or meeting. The relaxed, easygoing demeanor that Loki eventually uncovered after multiple interactions made its debut amongst the others, and for the first time since the infamous briefing, it seemed like Theo wasn’t afraid to be the center of attention.

In truth, Theo’s decision to join in the evening’s activities surprised Loki. Though Theo agreed to stop declining the invitations from Maximoff, Loki had expected that this would not be the occasion which Theo relented, as the large group could be rather intimidating. Instead, he anticipated that Theo would wait until she could verify that it would be a small gathering with ample opportunities to depart, should she grow uncomfortable.

Instead, the sight of Theo trailing behind Maximoff as they crossed the rooftop brought the first of many pleasant surprises in the evening. If the expression Theo wore when Thor addressed her provided any indication, Theo had not anticipated such a robust gathering, and for a moment Loki feared she might teleport away from the immense attention suddenly focused on her.

Luckily, that had not been the case. From time to time, Loki caught Theo glancing towards him with a silent question in her eyes, usually as if trying to assess the situation, but as the evening wore on the questioning glances decreased, replaced by smirks and thinly veiled attempts to refrain from laughing at the others. 

Perhaps the greatest surprise in the evening came when Theo agreed to not only try some Asgardian ale, but challenge Barnes to what one might consider a drinking contest with the aforementioned ale. Given Barnes held two significant advantages - his substantially larger size and the physiological changes from the super-soldier serum - the odds seemed stacked against the sorceress. If anything, Loki suspected that hubris fueled Theo’s decision.

However, he was far too curious about the outcome to consider intervening unless things turned sour, and up to that point he saw no cause for concern. Theo seemed fine, continuing to engage in conversation while working through her beverage. Occasionally, Loki caught himself staring at Theo’s petite hands, her dainty fingers wrapped around the massive mug of ale. If he could be honest with himself, The juxtaposition was rather adorable.

Barnes, unsurprisingly, was the first to finish his ale. Theo, however, was not far behind.

“I have a proposition.” Banner spoke up, looking between the empty mugs with a twinkle in his eye. “I think we should give these two a field sobriety test and see who is more sober… For science, of course.”

Loki, unfamiliar with the test Banner mentioned, hesitated. “And what exactly does a Midgardian sobriety test entail?” 

“Oh, it’s easy.” Theo assured him, standing up and stretching both arms overhead. “You just answer some questions and do some basic tasks, like walking in a straight line and balancing on one foot for a while.”

Loki studied Theo with some doubt; when she didn’t notice, he messaged her. “Are you certain it will be so simple?”

Theo typed and sent her reply without even looking at her mobile’s screen. “Bucky’s about to get destroyed.”

Barnes swayed the moment he stood up, nearly tripping over his own feet as he made his way towards the area where they set up the test. He hadn’t even walked half of the line marked out before it became clear as crystal that Barnes was utterly toasted.

Theo, meanwhile, seemed only lightly buzzed. She easily completed the straight line test… while walking on her hands. 

“A woman after my own heart,” Romanoff laughed, clapping as Theo finished the test. “It’s not often we have team members who are able to move like that.”

“Girl, you’ve gotta teach me how to do that,” Shuri exclaimed, “That’s dope as hell!”

Theo gracefully returned to her feet, pausing for just a moment to adjust her clothes before she feigned a curtsy and smirked at Barnes, who simply groaned from where he sat.

From what little Loki knew of Theo’s background, the ability to walk on her hands came as no surprise - she had formal training in acrobatic maneuvers, and her goaltending demonstration highlighted her agility. Yet, she did not seem like the sort who would walk on her hands for fun… Though from what he had seen, she certainly was the sort of person who would do so to prove a point. Quite frankly, It was the kind of thing that Loki might do if he were in her position.

All things considered, it seemed like Theo might share Loki’s penchant for mischief and trickery.

“Normally gods are the only ones who don't get knocked on their ass by Asgardian ale.” Stark commented, brow furrowed and eyes narrow as he studied Theo. 

“Asgard isn’t the only place with abnormally strong liquor,” Theo casually explained, shaking out her shoulders and stretching her neck. “There really are some places with nothing better to do than drown your sorrows!” 

Loki couldn’t help but laugh at her comment, though the choice of words piqued his curiosity. Of course there was the realm she refused to speak of, yet it sounded as if Theo referred to more than one location. Had she visited other realms as well?

Surely, she was exaggerating.

“You’re talking about Michigan, right?” Stark teased.

“No, I’m talking about spending time with you.” Theo deadpanned, winning a lively round of jeers and laughter of the group.

Not done showing off, Theo proceeded to balance on one foot for five minutes while casually discussing the merits of different types of alcohol that she’d encountered and how the Midgardian body metabolized alcohol, far longer than the 30 seconds that were required for a field sobriety test (at least, according to Doctor Banner). Gesturing vivaciously as she spoke, Theo’s eyes lit up with amusement as the others laughed along with her commentary.

As someone who was an expert at embellishing stories, Loki could tell when Theo added flourishes or exaggerated details. However, any talented storyteller understood that the best tales required a bit of panache, and Theo was no exception. While the others may not have noticed, to Loki, it was painfully obvious that Theo knew she was putting on a show. 

“Okay, I think at this point there’s a pretty clear winner.” Rhodes snickered as Barnes laid down on a sofa, complaining about the way the world spun..

Theo happily took the $40 that Barnes previously threw down on the table, smirking as she dramatically tucked it into her wallet.

“Is anyone hungry? I could go for some pizza right about now.” Maximoff asked, looking around at the others.

“FRI, you heard the lady!” Stark lifted his head as he spoke up to no one in particular. “Well… I was actually thinking we could go out for pizza?” Maximoff suggested, shrugging her shoulders as she pointed behind herself towards the elevator.

Frankly, after such lively conversation and company, Loki was nowhere near ready to turn in for the night… Even if “going out” was not his preferred activity, perhaps it was worth accompanying the others on their venture.

“As much as I’d love to, I should probably make sure Bucky gets to bed in one piece.” Rogers replied, his point amplified by Barnes’ unintelligible grumbles.

“Yeah, it’s getting late –” Banner glanced at his watch before he stood up. “I’m ready to call it a night.” 

“I’d join you.” Loki nodded at Maximoff, lightly shrugging his shoulders. 

“Pizza sounds like fun.” Belova pushed herself up from her seat. “I’d go.”

“I’m down!” Shuri added, stretching as she rose to her feed. 

Theo had yet to respond, eyes darting between the others as they responded. She didn’t seem tired, but experience indicated she would not opt-in unless clearly invited to attend 

“The night is young – why not enjoy some excellent company for a little longer?” Turning to Theo, Loki offered a wry smile as he offered a hand to help her up. “Would you care to join? I suspect Maximoff would even let you select the pizza place…” He shot a knowing glance to Maximoff, who grinned and nodded.

“Sure, I suppose I can come along.” Theo perked up, mirroring Loki’s smile as she accepted the gesture, and allowed Loki to pull her to her feet. “I’m not sure what my options are for pizza around here, so I would defer to someone else to choose.”

Loki felt a bit of heat creep up on his cheeks - he ought to have remembered that Theo only recently became a resident of Midtown, so her knowledge of local eateries would be limited at best.

“Oh, there’s lots of great options nearby!” Parker exclaimed, bouncing up from his seat. “My favorite is–”

“She didn’t tell you to pick a place,” Shuri held a hand out to stop him as she smirked.

Parker replied with a pout, crossing his arms to make a point.

“If you tell me what place you want to go to, I’ll suggest it,” Theo winked at the spiderling.

“That’s not how this works!” Shuri protested, turning to Theo and covering her heart with mock offense.

“Okay, okay,” Theo held up her hands, laughing as she shook her head. “Wanda, pick a place since you wanted pizza and I have no idea what’s good around here.”

“I can do that - Vis, you coming?” Maximoff beamed at Vision, reaching for his hand.

“I shall accompany you.”

And off they went, in search of pizza.

Mic check  - say hi to LoLo Goodbye to normal Welcome to your mad world Where you can forget  About your boredom From this day forward Well I will give you love on every level

If anyone had asked Theo that morning how she expected her evening to go, drinking a supersoldier under the table and then going out for pizza at one in the morning with some of the Avengers would not have come to mind. Yet, in another edition of “my life is stranger than fiction,” that was exactly how Theo’s night played out.

The pizza place Wanda recommended was fairly close to Avengers tower - down an alleyway and through a side door, the restaurant sat tucked in the basement of a bar that Theo recognized because she played a couple shows there a while ago.. 

When they first walked in, the atmosphere practically screamed “hole in the wall.” The lights were kept low - low enough that it was easy to hide the dirt permanently coated on the floors. The smell of cheese and cheap beer lingered in the air. Even at the late hour, the place was packed. Perhaps the low light was to their advantage - no one seemed to notice the group of superheroes as they made their entrance, which was a relief. It took Theo back to the midnight hours in Durham. Her friends drunkenly crowded into booths for food after spending the night getting guys to buy out the bar for them. Theo had to play along in those days in order to hide her magic and its effects on her body - however, the lack of drunkenness meant she was still able to recall the exact way the place felt. And this… this felt all too familiar. 

When they found an empty booth, they wasted no time claiming it as their own, even if it meant they had to squish together so everyone fit. With the way they packed themselves together, Theo couldn’t help but notice Loki’s body against hers, steady and firm without encroaching on her personal space. Loki may have been her first friend among the Avengers, but that didn’t mean they were ever quite so close. From Theo’s observations, Loki seemed like he avoided physical contact whenever possible, recoiling from Thor’s touch and carefully distancing himself when anyone else drew near. Really, Theo couldn’t remember ever having made any physical contact with him that wasn’t an accidental brush of the hands when they handed items to each other. 

Despite feeling a bit thrown off by the touch, she wasn’t uncomfortable… If anything, it was actually kind of nice. 

Not that she was going to say anything, because that would absolutely make it weird. 

The effortless, lighthearted conversation that started on the rooftop continued the moment they sat down, even as everyone made quick work of the first round of drinks and the pizza, continuing to the extent that it wasn’t long before they ordered another round of drinks. 

After the waitress delivered the second round of drinks, Wanda swallowed the bite of pizza she had been chewing, then spoke up. 

“Thank you.” Wanda paused, considering her words. “For coming out tonight, that is. This has been fun.” She beamed at Theo. “I’m glad you have a sense of humor. The pigeon was well played.”

Theo blushed, biting back a smile. “Thanks for letting me in on the fun… though I have to say, I think Loki took the trophy home for best prank of the night.”

This time Loki didn’t try to deny it, grinning with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “It is important to remind my brother to stay humble… ‘Tis best to not allow his ego to overtake him. Do you agree?”

Theo let out a laugh, just barely tinged with melancholy as she thought about her sister. “That is part of a sibling’s job description, isn’t it?”

“Am I remembering correctly that you have a sister?” Vision asked Theo. “I recall mention of a sibling in your file, though you’ve not spoken much on the matter.”

Theo flinched, though the motion was barely perceptible. Loki’s eyes flickered over at her - he must have still noticed. 

“I do… but she’s presumed dead, like my parents. We got separated when we ended up in the other realm” Theo shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage, but the way the expressions in the group softened told her that they picked up on her discomfort around the topic. “My Mémère – err, my Grandma – raised me after that, and she raised my younger cousin, Max; he’s practically my younger brother.”

“There’s no reason to be nervous; family is a complicated subject for pretty much everyone on the team.” Wanda assured her.

Theo flashed a thin, yet grateful smile. “Yeah, I gathered that was practically a prerequisite for joining the Avengers.”

Loki snorted at her comment.

Wanda took the opportunity to change the topic, launching into the recap of the last band that she saw in this particular place. Apparently this was one of her favorite spots to go when she wanted to blend in and have some fun, especially since the poor lighting made it hard to be recognized. 

As Wanda spoke, Theo noticed a young couple making out next to a jukebox and couldn’t help but smile at the sight – they may have assumed that the poor lighting obscured them from view, but their affection was sweet. Another wave of nostalgia from her days in Durham washed over Theo.

It occurred to her that everyone in the booth had lived vastly different lives from her own: a literal princess sat next to a kid who grew up in Queens; an orphan sat next to an android, who sat across from a frost giant/literal god, and on Theo’s opposite side was someone who trained to be a spy since before she could walk. However, Theo didn’t feel like a fish out of water. On the contrary, she actually felt like she belonged there, sitting in this cramped booth with six other people who knew what it was like to be different. And the best part was, she didn’t even have to hide what made her unique.

Her heart warmed at the thought.

By the time they finally left the pizza place, it was nearing three in the morning – the sun would rise in a few hours, however Theo was still wide awake. Wanda must have sensed that Theo was still ready for an adventure because she paused outside, looking in the direction opposite the tower.

“So where are we going now?” Theo inquired, looking between the others. 

“Given you have a high alcohol tolerance, I think we should do some bar hopping,” Wanda offered, “This is New York, after all, the city that never sleeps. We might as well make it a proper night out!”

“The princess is out of her tower and there are some fine establishments nearby.” Loki added, a smug expression curling over his lips as he crossed his arms. Shuri cracked up, entirely aware that Loki was referring to Theo and not to her.

“I don’t know why you’re calling me a princess when we have a literal princess with us.” Theo offered a playful scoff in response to his joke, pointing at Shuri. 

“The literal princess had a great time, but she’s gotta go back to Oakland tomorrow.” Shuri smirked and took a bow. “So I’ve gotta call it a night.”

“Yeah, I have a biology exam I need to study for tomorrow, so I should get some sleep.” Peter agreed.

“I head out for a mission bright and early,” Yelena sighed, “So I should probably go too.”

“They may be ditching us, but I’m down to go check out the bars,” Theo offered. “But I hope you don’t make the same mistake Bucky did - that might not go as well, since you aren’t a super soldier.”

Wanda laughed freely, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Oh no, I’m not about to try and match you drink for drink. Consider this our way of giving you a tour of the neighborhood!”

Vision, of course, was also fine with bar hopping; as long as Wanda was there it seemed like he would be happy. 

After bidding goodnight to Shuri, Peter, and Yelena, the remaining four Avengers departed for the first bar. The cover of night provided protection from the stares that Theo expected to get walking down the street, though it was likely helped by the decrease in people out and about at the odd hour. 

The quartet moved between local bars seamlessly. The sight of the Avengers didn’t draw the looks Theo would have expected most celebrities to draw - the other three, apparently, were regulars. They chatted with other customers and joked around with the bartenders, always making a point to casually slip an introduction to Theo in the mix without making it awkward. More often than not, the other customers would buy a round of drinks for the group as a way of welcoming Theo to the team, and before Theo could respond either Loki or Wanda would accept on her behalf.

If Theo didn’t know better, Loki and Wanda were on a mission to see just how much alcohol it took to get Theo drunk; frankly, as long as Theo wasn’t the one footing the bill, she didn’t mind the opportunity to loosen up a bit.

As the sun crept over the horizon, Theo felt the warm buzz that came with mild inebriation, having consumed enough alcohol to finally overcome her obnoxious tolerance. 

Loki had a slight flush to his cheeks and a hint of glassiness in his eyes – there was no way that he could become intoxicated from what a human would drink alone, but between the Asgardian ale he consumed earlier and the other drinks, he seemed more relaxed than usual. Up until that point, Theo noticed that even when relaxed, Loki always had this air of being immensely composed, but that night it seemed like he let some of that properness fall away and let his guard drop ever-so-slightly.

In contrast, Wanda was comfortably drunk, allowing herself to hiccup and giggle freely while slurring some of her words. Not messy drunk by any means, thanks to Loki and Vision switching out some of her drinks for Shirley Temples when Wanda wasn’t looking (given how easily they managed the feat, Theo guessed it wasn’t the first time they had swapped her drinks so she didn’t get sick). 

Vision was the only one who was sober, but that had to be a normal occurrence… Not shockingly, it was impossible for an artificial intelligence system to process alcohol. Theo found it odd to watch Vision eat and drink like a normal person, since he didn’t actually digest food and that he didn’t even need to eat to function. The sight was even more jarring when he camouflaged himself to appear like a person and not an android, which he did anytime he ventured into public. 

Still, it wasn’t the weirdest thing Theo had ever seen…

With the sun peeking over the horizon, bringing with it the impending arrival of the morning, the group agreed it was time to return to the tower. While there was nothing on their agenda for the day that they had to prepare for, by that time everyone had been awake long enough that they were more than ready for bed. Vision and Wanda led the way, Vision wrapping his arm around Wanda to help her stay steady as she giggled and cooed endlessly at him, utterly lovestruck each time she looked at her partner. 

Behind them, Loki and Theo strolled beside each other in comfortable silence. As they moved, Theo discreetly observed Loki. His normally upright, regal posture had softened. His eyes gazed out into the distance, though it didn’t seem like they had a fixed point of interest. He kept his hands in his pockets, and his expression reserved - just the slightest hint of knitted brows adorned his expression.

The man beside her was different from the Loki that Theo first met, or the Loki she saw earlier in the evening – the sharp, charismatic, and sarcastic prince was replaced by a much quieter, introspective man. Even with the faint warmth of the alcohol in Theo’s system, she could sense storms swirling in his mind that were locked away from public view. She couldn’t help but wonder how often he allowed that side of him to show.

When they arrived at the tower and made their way up to the residential floors, Theo couldn’t help but notice the way that Loki held the elevator door for her, and how he placed his hand on the small of her back as she passed by. It must have been the way that Loki was raised that made him do those things - as a prince, he must have been taught these types of gestures as a part of proper etiquette - but the feeling of his touch lingered long after his hand left her back.

No one else was around, which meant that it was either too early for the others to be up, or those who were already awake were off doing something else. Those moments of stillness were rare in the tower, and after a long but fun night out, Theo was grateful for the peace and quiet. Up ahead, Wanda giggled and squealed as Vision patiently coaxed her towards their suite. It didn’t take long for them to disappear behind the door, leaving Loki and Theo to themselves. The pair’s comfortable silence continued as they made their way down the hall, pausing outside the door to Theo’s suite.

“This was a lot of fun,” Theo commented to Loki, a shy smile on her lips as she took hold of the door handle, but refrained from opening the door.

“Indeed,” he nodded, sticking his hands back in his pockets and shifting his weight back onto his heels as he gave her a nervous smile. “I’m glad you’ve come out of your shell a bit more – it is nice to spend time with you.” 

They both stood there, biting back smiles as they looked into each other’s eyes. In the peace of the tower and the sun rising, there was almost a special sort of peace that fell between them - a moment frozen in time.

Eventually though, that moment had to end.

Theo cleared her throat, a rising heat now present on her cheeks. “Well, I should probably…” Theo trailed off, gesturing that she was going to head inside. “Uh, good night Loki.”

“Right,” Loki blushed, looking away as he dipped his head. “Good night Theo.” 

Theo found herself reflecting on the night as she got ready for bed. Yes, Loki, the little bastard was right - the Avengers, for all their initial assumptions and hesitations, genuinely did want to be her friend.

And despite every reason why Theo shouldn’t want to, at the end of the day… She wanted to be their friend too. 

I let go (I let go) This is something spiritual (something spiritual) A vibrant soul (a vibrant soul) Give me life, give me love Got me hooked on a higher dose No sorrow (baby this is chemical) Hit just like an antidote (can’t come down, down) Adios (give me, yeah give me) Give me life, give me love  Leveled up on a higher dose

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki fluff #loki marvel #loki imagine #loki x oc #loki x ofc #when everything's made to be broken #wemtbb #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #slow burn #fluff #friends to lovers #marvel #mcu #brodinsons #wanda maximoff #thor #mcu thor

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || 8

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. through a few strange twists of fate, you’ve ended up living with the very boy who’d broken your heart. but, perhaps it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be. he is the perfect gentleman, after all. 

warnings: f!reader, angst??

wc: 3.9k

m.list |  ch. 7 ↞ ch. 8 ↠ ch. 9

The film was alright. There was a certain chaos to it, an unhinged energy that gave it real character. Although, you weren’t quite sure how to feel about the reverse-Freudian implications of Marty’s mother getting a crush on him.

The phone in your lap buzzed, shooting light upwards into the darkened room. Glancing down, you read the name ‘Kohei’ on the screen.

It’d be rude to text him back during the movie, right? Since Iwaizumi was showing you this specific film… Although, it’d been your choice.

You turned your mind away from the question, your eyes flitting back to the screen.

The man with the frazzled white hair – Doc, was it? – was speaking at a rapid-fire pace. If it weren’t for the subtitles, you would’ve been totally lost.

Your phone buzzed again. Still Kohei. You covered the screen with your hand, trying to block out the ambiance-ruining brightness.

Yet another buzz.

“Who is that?” Iwaizumi frowned. “They’ve got a lot to say.”

“Sorry,” you blushed, turning your phone over so it was face down on the arm of the couch. “It’s Kohei.”

“Kohei?” There’s a strange lilt in Iwaizumi’s voice.

You ignored it. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure you met him at the party.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi hummed. “Right.”

He said nothing more, turning his attention back to the screen.

You bit your lip, fingers tightening around your phone.

It felt a little weird, doing something so casual with him. Well, you’d been doing casual things with him for a while, but something about this just felt so domestic. Probably didn’t help that the last time you did this together, he’d kissed you.

Your stomach twisted at the thought.

God, that felt like a lifetime ago now. And maybe it was, in some way; neither of you were those people anymore.

But a part of you still wanted to kiss him, just like back then.

You knew you shouldn’t think about it. He’d pushed you away two years ago for a reason. If you wanted this whole living situation thing to keep going smoothly, you had to respect that.

And yet, it felt unfair.

This was all so easy. So natural.

But it was something you couldn’t have. Something you couldn’t hope for.

You swallowed roughly, slipping your hands under your thighs.

You couldn’t think about it. If you did, you’d just make things worse.

And you were willing to do just about anything to maintain the delicate friendship between the two of you.

✧ ✧ ✧

“So,” Tooru’s voice came through the speaker with its usual levity. “How’s living with Iwa?”

Your stomach dropped. “It’s good!”

It’s not a lie. You just didn’t want to talk about it with Tooru. At least half of the things that made the whole arrangement so fun were things you didn’t exactly want to mention to your older brother.

“You don’t have to rub it in!” He whined.

“Rub what in?” You blinked, a little lost.

“The fact that you get to live with Iwa!”

Oh. Right.

“You’re the one who suggested it,” you teased.

“I know, but it doesn’t make it sting any less!”

“He would’ve killed you within the first day,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Not true!” Tooru barked.

You laughed. You didn’t need to see him to know the exact expression on his face. He’d always been comically expressive, even as a child.

That warm silence that always followed laughter settled over the call.

“Oh, man,” Tooru chuckled. “No, but how are you going?” He asked.

It’d been a while since the two of you had really gotten the chance to talk. Both of you had just been too busy; any catchups you managed to sneak in didn’t allow for much time to really get into the details of your lives.

But today was the day.

“I’ve been doing really well, actually!” It was such a delight to be able to say those words with full sincerity. “I’m still adjusting and everything, but… I think it’s going to be good.”

Small hiccups with Iwaizumi aside, everything was under control. Sure, sometimes you weren’t quite sure what they were saying in class, and yes, you did procrastinate more than perhaps you should’ve – but you were making a life here.

“See, I told you!” He chided.

“Yeah, you keep reminding me of that,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“I’m just saying,” he hummed, adopting his favourite ‘hoity-toity older brother’ tone, “you should’ve listened to me in the first place.”

“I know, I know…” You sighed.

Tooru had told you time and time again that things’d worked out. ‘If I can move to a whole new country on my own, then you can definitely do it with Iwa’s help,’ he’d said. You’d had trouble believing him at first; but for once, he’d been right.

“I’m glad the two of you have each other, you know?” He said.

You flinched. Now those were words you hadn’t expected to hear.

“Huh?”

“You and Iwa,” Tooru explained. “He doesn’t talk about his feelings often, but I think you being there has really helped him relax.”

Your stomach churned.

Was that true? Had your presence really made Iwaizumi feel better? He’d done a lot to help you, but you felt like you hadn’t really done anything for him. You’d just felt like something of a burden.

But if that wasn’t actually true…

“What do you mean?” You asked quietly. God, you hoped your voice wasn’t giving anything away.

“Well, you know,” Tooru said, “you’re someone he knows from home. That sounds pretty comforting to me.”

You were grateful he couldn’t see the pink blooming on your cheeks. “Are you asking me to move to Argentina?” You teased. You didn’t know what else to say.

“Well, I wouldn’t say no—”

“Because I’d rather die.”

The gasp that erupted from Tooru was so loud it peaked the audio. “How dare you? If we were living together, I’d be able to keep an eye on you. And, I could ward of any pesky boys.”

“That’s the problem.”

“Don’t be so inappropriate!” Tooru shrieked. “I don’t want to know the details!”

“I wasn’t going to tell you any of the details!”

“You were about to!”

“No I wasn’t!”

“I’ll have you know, you are far too young to be dating, young lady, and that—”

“I’m only a year younger than you!”

“And?”

“Shut up, Tooru!”

✧ ✧ ✧

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. The kitchen table was supposed to help you get your ass into gear. But instead, your laptop was open, but nothing had been done. The screen was probably a few moments away from turning idle.

A to-do list stared back at you, unrelenting. The sound of rain against the windows was your only companion. Iwaizumi had left for the gym some time ago, and you’d decided that music would be too much of a distraction.

Not that the absence of it was helping you.

Come on, you thought to yourself, just focus.

Easier said than done.

You groaned, leaning back against your chair. Why was it so hard to focus?

A deep breath, and then—

Slap!

Your cheeks stung from the impact of your own palms.

No difference.

The sound of the door opening was a beautiful reprieve. Finally, a worthy excuse to procrastinate—

“Hey.” Iwaizumi said a little breathlessly, holding his hand up in greeting.

You gaped at him.

Words might’ve come to mind if it was any other circumstances.

But when he was just standing there like that, you couldn’t help it.

A white shirt that clung to his torso, cheeks flushed with recent exertion, hair all messy—

It was official. You needed to start writing up your will, saying your goodbyes, getting all your chickens in order. Iwaizumi was certifiably too much, and you couldn’t handle it.

You were doing your best to respond. Truly. But it’s like his chest was a damn magnet, drawing your eyes back to it no matter how hard you tried to look at him respectfully.

Stupid Iwaizumi Hajime and his stupid shirt and his stupid chest—

“You good?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Me?” Your gaze snapped up to meet his. “Oh, yeah. I’m great, actually.”

“If you say so,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Well,” you gaped at him, trying to fight off the myriad of phantasmal shirtless Iwaizumi’s dancing around your head. You were losing. “I’m offended that you’re not more concerned.”

“You’ll recover,” he grinned.

You pouted at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this treatment.”

Iwaizumi chuckled again, ambling across the room with an aggravatingly slow pace. The sooner he was out of sight, the better.

“It’s tough love, sweetheart,” he tutted. “It’s how the world works.”

“Well—” You huffed, trying to think of a retort. But, you were far too distracted by the use of ‘sweetheart’ – even if it hadn’t been used in an affectionate way.

“I’m going to have a shower,” Iwaizumi said, smirking at you. “I hope you’re feeling better by the time I get out.”

“Mhm,” you nodded, eyes fixated determinedly on your computer screen. If you looked up and saw his glutes, you were sure you’d implode.

You covered your face with your forearms, letting out a silent scream.

Why did God hate you? Why did he want you to suffer? Every time you thought you’d got it under control, you were reminded of the fact that Iwaizumi looked like that, and any work you’d done to neatly tuck your romantic feelings into a box managed to wriggle like a rebellious young cat.

Every goddamn time, you were reminded of just how determined he was, how responsible, how quietly caring, how—

No. You shook your head. No need to indulge those thoughts. Not when you were supposed to be doing work.

Although, there was no way you were getting anything done today.

✧ ✧ ✧

“How old are you in these?” You grinned, glancing at Kohei.

His cheeks flushed. “I think I was like… sixteen here?”

“Sixteen, huh?”

“You know what high schools like back home,” he whined. “We all deserve some stress relief.”

“And yours was… running at each other across a field while screaming at the top of your lungs?”

“You should try it,” he beamed. “It’s surprisingly effective.”

You laughed, your body curving towards him.

You hadn’t planned on inviting Kohei over today. You’d just happened to bump into him by chance on campus as you were heading home. As usual, he’d struck up quite the conversation. But you’d wanted to get home before it got dark, so you’d invited him to come with you.

So there you were, sitting on your couch in the front room, listening to Kohei tell you about the stupid video he and his high school friends made back in Osaka. Most of them were re-enactments of Naruto scenes.

To each their own, you supposed.

The creak of front door came from around the corner.

“Hey Hajime!” You called out.

“Hey,” he called back, voice warm.

“You’re home later than usual,” you said.

“I was hanging out with Taiki,” he explained. “We got bubble tea.”

“Oh, nice,” you nodded, watching as he came into view.

He smiled as he caught sight of you. It took him a moment to realise you weren’t alone.

“You remember Kohei, right?” You gestured to the boy sitting next to you.

“Hello,” Kohei nodded, bright smile on his face.

“Hi,” Iwaizumi said. His smile disappeared, expression becoming even stonier than usual.

The atmosphere felt a shade cooler than it had a moment prior.

“You didn’t tell me you were having someone over,” Iwaizumi said coolly, heading to his bedroom.

“It was impromptu,” you explained.

“Mhm,” was the last sound you heard before he disappeared down the hall.

You clenched your fists in your lap. Had something happened? Was it okay to ask?

If something was up, Kohei certainly hadn’t noticed it. Not that you expected him to.

“How’d you feel about the most recent Godzilla film?” He asked.

“Uh… I don’t think we have it.” That was the polite way of saying ‘Iwaizumi hates that film with his entire being, and he wouldn’t dare debase this household by buying it on DVD.’

You’d heard his rant a couple of times, actually – insufficient screen time for Godzilla, a lack of understanding of the point of a monster movie, mediocre battles.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Kohei shrugged. “It’s on Netflix.”  

“Ah, I see,” you nodded.

Why did it already feel like agreeing to a movie was a mistake?

✧ ✧ ✧

Thirty minutes in and you knew it was a mistake.

You were bored. Horribly, terribly bored.

But you didn’t have the heart to tell Kohei that when he, at least, seemed to be enjoying himself.

Besides, you could find other ways to occupy yourself. You could just think (see: fantasise) about Gojou Satoru. That’d been more than enough to keep you entertained during your duller classes.

Iwaizumi ambled into the kitchen, his eyes flicking to the two of you for only a second. You held up your hand a little as a greeting; he didn’t return it.

You swallowed, turning your ‘attention’ back to the TV.

Something was wrong. You didn’t know what, but… If Kohei wasn’t there, you would’ve just walked over to Iwaizumi and asked him if there was any way you could help. But having a guest… complicated things.

Said guest stretched his arms over his head. You hoped, absentmindedly, that he’d had a shower recently.

He laid one of his arms along the top of the couch, just ghosting your shoulders.

You managed to hold back a frown. What was he doing? Was he trying to hit on you? Or was it absentminded? If it was the former, then it was a rather childish way of—

A loud clutter erupted from the kitchen. A quiet ‘shit’ quickly followed.

You shot to your feet on instinct, rushing over to where a very disgruntled Iwaizumi stood.

“Are you okay?” You asked, looking him up and down.

Water stained his shirt, the water jug lying sideways on the countertop.

“I’m fine,” Iwaizumi grunted, setting it upright.

You grabbed the tea towel, dabbing at his shirt. Sure, it wouldn’t be much help, but—

“I said I’m fine.”

You draw back sharply, shocked by the harshness in his voice.

Instead you turned to the puddle of water on the counter, laying the tea towel over it. You watched as it turned a shade darker, seeping through the cotton until there wasn’t a single inch of dry cloth left.

Iwaizumi had turned away from you, standing in front of the sink as he refilled the water jug.

You pressed your lips together, concern and agitation brewing in your gut.

He seemed… Stressed? Irritated? Bitter?

But you couldn’t ask. Not right now. You’d have to wait until Kohei was gone, at the very least. And you didn’t want to pry. Iwaizumi didn’t appreciate that sort of thing.

Was there anything you could do for now? Anything at all?

“Did you want to order food with us?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. It was the best thing you could think of; giving him one less thing to worry about might help, right?

“No,” Iwaizumi said curtly.

You blinked at him. “You sure? It’ll save you the trouble of making dinner.”

“I’d rather eat on my own,” he grumbled.

“Oh,” you murmured.

You were at a total loss. Something was wrong.

But you turned away, slinking back to the couch.

“Is everything okay?” Kohei asked as you sat yourself back down.

“Mhm,” you nodded.

As a precaution, you set a little more distance between the two of you. If you sat any closer, he might get the wrong idea.

✧ ✧ ✧

After what felt like three days, the film was over. What’d happened in it? You couldn’t say. You hadn’t been paying attention.

You’d instead been preoccupied with Iwaizumi.

Maybe you were worrying too much over something minor. Maybe he’d just had a bad day at work. Maybe Taiki had just been a brat. Maybe he just had a few assignments due in close succession.

But that didn’t stop you from feeling anxious. Was that pathetic?

At the very least, you wanted to make sure he was okay. This behaviour seemed… weird.

“What time is it?” You turned to Kohei, tilting your head to the side.

“Uh… eight,” he said, checking his phone.

It was that late already? But there was still so much you needed to get done…

You yawned, stretching you hands above your head. “Thanks for hanging out with me today,” you said, turning to smile at Kohei.

“No problem,” he nodded, in response, offering you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Nothing more needed to be said to get the message across.

The two of you walked towards the front door, Kohei’s steps a little slower than yours.

You didn’t want to make it look like you were trying to rush him out of there, but you also didn’t want to give him the impression that you wanted him to stay. Everything just felt so weird, so… so high stakes. Like any little action you made was at risk of being misinterpreted.

“Well…” Kohei lingered at your door for a moment, looking at you with what seemed to be hope in his eyes.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” You smiled.

“Sure,” he nodded, opening the door. “Thanks.” He seemed a tad more dour than usual. Your stomach twisted a little.

“Bye!” You said, hoping that this, at least, would set your boundaries.

He didn’t seem bold enough to make an actual move, but you’d rather save the trouble.

You watched with a tiny sense of relief blooming in your chest as he stepped over the threshold and walked away.

Once the door finally closed, you let out a long sigh.

Something was up. Even you could tell that. His attempts at flirting, while juvenile, were earnest. What a strange evening this had been…

At the very least, you made a note to not invite him to your house alone again. That’d been your first mistake.

You dragged yourself to the kitchen, pouring out a glass of water. The tea towel was still soaked through, laid out on the counter. You’d probably have to get a bath towel to clean this mess up.

You sunk to the floor, feeling the cool tiles against the back of your thighs.

Were you going to have to turn Kohei down? God, you didn’t want to do that. That sounded awkward. And he was genuinely a sweet guy – your heart just wasn’t in the right space.

Not while you were living with Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi.

Something was off with him, too. But you had no idea what. He’s always been tight-lipped about his own feelings. Even two years ago, it had never been about him; it’d be about the potential ramifications his actions could’ve had on the people around him.

He never wanted to be a burden. Even though he’d leant you a hand so many times these past six months, you knew he’d never ask for the same in return.

But you wanted to help. He deserved support.

Should you ask? Should you try bringing it up, or—

“Oh, fuck.”

Your looked up sharply.

Iwaizumi was stood at the entrance of the kitchen, shoulders tense with surprise.

“Oh, sorry,” you swallowed, crossing your legs.

He just grunted in response, turning his attention to the fridge.

You bit your lip, watching him closely. His posture was tense, his jaw stiffer than usual.

“Hey, Hajime?” You asked, voice soft and quiet.

“What?” His response was quick, sharp.

“Are you alright?” Perhaps you should’ve asked this earlier. Perhaps you shouldn’t ask it at all. But it was too late to take it back.

“I’m fine,” he grunted, half-slamming the fridge door.

“I know you’re lying,” you said softly.

He may keep his feelings to himself, but he wasn’t the best at disguising them. Especially when it came to annoyance.

With Tooru, it tended to bubble over, resulting in some rant or threat. But these days, you didn’t really see him get pissed except for when the washing machine wasn’t working properly.

“Mind your own business.”

Those words cut you to your core.

This was… strange. Unusual. He’d seemed fine this morning, and as far as you knew, he’d just… been to the gym. His demeanour had only taken a nose-dive when…

“Why are you being like this?” You asked, voice thin and tight. God, this better not be what you were thinking.

“Being like what?” Iwaizumi mumbled, staring at his phone.

You bit the inside of your cheek.

Did he really have no idea that he was acting like a petulant child who didn’t want to eat their vegetables?

“Do you have a problem with Kohei?” He couldn’t dodge that question.

“No,” he said, still looking at his phone. “He just comes off as a bit desperate.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You can’t be serious,” Iwaizumi scoffed. “He’s not subtle.”

You stared at him, total confusion clouding your mind.

What on earth was he on about? Desperate? Subtle? Wasn’t it just a case of him having a grudge for no reason?

Wait. Holy fuck. Was he… jealous?

The realisation washed over you like a fever.

Anger, rage, bitterness. It all collapsed in on itself, feelings you’d been supressing for two years.

He’d crushed your heart in the palm of his hand two years ago. Told you that any kind of romantic relationship between the two of you would be too much of a risk.

And you’d let him.

You hadn’t fought back. You hadn’t stood up for your own feelings. You’d just let him do what he wanted, what he thought was best. And never, not even once, had you made your feelings known.

But here he was, with the audacity to be jealous of a guy flirting with you.

He didn’t own you. He had no say in what happened in your personal life. If you wanted to sleep around, if you wanted to have a long-term partner that wasn’t him… it didn’t matter. It was your business, not his.

And yet, the worst thing of all was that this response, this jealousy, made your heart flutter. It made you hopeful; that maybe, this time, things might be different.

That Iwaizumi Hajime wasn’t so far out of reach. That this time, you had a chance.

Fuck him.

“No,” you hissed. “I’m not letting you break my heart again.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes blew wide, his lips parting slightly.

“You dropped me like I was nothing two years ago,” you scoffed. “You don’t get to act like a spoilt little brat just because you’re jealous.”

“Look, I—” He stopped himself in his tracks.

He really had nothing to say for himself, huh?

You glared at him, the corners of your eyes beginning to sting. “You’re acting like a child,” you hissed. “I hoped you were better than that.”

You didn’t give him time to respond.

He didn’t deserve to.

You stormed off to your room, slamming the door behind you.

A deep, shuddering breath wasn’t enough to still your stuttering heart. Nor was it enough to move the lump in your throat.

God, what a colossal disaster.  

But for once, it wasn’t your fault.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: sorry this one’s late! thank you for your patience :( i hope it was worth the wait

#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu x reader #tiny love

[jaeminscoffee]

Hewo <3

Idk if u can do this (idk how much u know about this situation tbf) but I get motor tics in my head (like my head will just randomly move - Tourette syndrome)

So it would mean a lot to me if u could do the dreamies reaction to seeing u tic for the first time (like non verbal tics) 👉🏻👈🏻

I tried!! I'm pretty sure this isn't probably what you wanted but i really did try, i swear. Let me know if there's any incorrect implications of the tic in the reaction! Anddd your feedback would be highly appreciated! Happy reading ❤:

Mark:

First time he'd see you during one of your episodes would be when he was teaching you his favorite tune on his guitar. He'd be shocked, to say nonetheless since he'd never seen you like this before as you had been doing a considerably good job at avoiding him when you thought you'd be getting a round of your tics. 

"Hey.." he'd approach you cautiously the moment you feel yourself subsiding from the episode at the sight of your lightly glazed and wet eyes. "Hey.. Why are you crying, love?" he'd be wary to wrap his arms around you, luring you into his embrace. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that-" your voice betrays you with the evident crack as you lower your head in embarrassment. "Why're you sorry? There's literally nothing to be sorry about-"

"I'm just embarrassed, alright? I just let my super cute boyfriend see one of my defects." you choke out. 

"I think me noticing you like that just made our bond stronger. One less secret to hide now, am i right?" he'd chuckle-

"And hey, you're super cute too"

Renjun:

It'd happen when you played the role of a muse when Renjun impulsively decided to draw a portrait of you since, "art should be hung up on the walls but if i hang you up there, I'd be sentenced to life prison or execution so no thank you." 

At first he'd be slightly annoyed since you did just move which can potentially ruin his painting. He'd go off on you, but lets you slide this one time off with a warning. When you kept going at it however, he'd lose it and scold you, demanding you to stay still. But then he'd notice how you weren't necessarily doing it on purpose and was just something that you couldn't handle, help, or have a say in, so he'd patiently wait until you stilled and showed no potential signs of going into an episode again and approach you, grasping onto your shoulder blades while pressing down from the back of your head to your shoulders are slightly below the biceps, massaging the area soothingly. 

"Does your neck hurt? Point out where it hurts the most, I'll soothe it out for you. House chores on me for this week, I'm sorry for losing my temper, darling"

Jeno: 

Probably happens when you're seated at the bleachers during one of his soccer practices. He's always been a little protective over you since you did mention about your tics to him at the early stages of your relationship and even had voiced out your insecurities that came along with it. 

Jeno would notice sudden movements from your end (which was relatively easy to notice since you were practically the only soul at the right hand top of the seats) and realise that  you were experiencing one of your episodes. 

Though, this movement definitely doesn't go unnoticed by his teammates and the cheerleaders team. For some messed up reason, the jerks would start laughing, definitely going up and beyond to even mocking you. That would tick Jeno off. Who do they think they are to make fun of his girl?

He'd run up to you with a bottle of water when he notices you shake from anxiety and stands in front of you before turning to face the heartless crowd. 

"Hey assholes! Mind your own business, will you?"

Haechan: 

Let's say, You'd first experience an episode in front of him during a couple's game night. Jaemin and his girlfriend in a team, Mark and his in one, Jisung and his another and then there's you and Hyuck. 

Right during the game point you'd feel yourself moving involuntarily, leading to the two of you losing the game. And you know how competitive he is so you'd only feel guilty about it. But here's the catch, Haechan had an idea of your motor tics. He'd just never been there to experience it. 

He'd notice you getting all teary eyed and would be quick to console you, "Listen, look we lost because i went easy on them, you know i could've smashed them all in one go,"

"No. We lost because of my stupid tics, I'm sorry" you'd sob back a reply. 

"You're sorry for having something you never asked for? No. Be sorry for not giving me a consolation kiss, doll" he'd try diverting the attention onto another topic to distract you from your self wallowing. 

Jaemin-

Baking nights for sure. 

In this scenario, let's say you aren't really insecure about your motor tics and that you weren't necessarily hiding yourself from Jaemin because knowing him and how trustworthy he is (not that the others are not) you'd be confident enough to tell him all about you. 

You'd be standing next to him as you watch him put all the ingredients into a bowl when you'd feel yourself going into an episode. Startled by your own involuntary movements you'd quickly grab onto his apron and wait patiently for yourself to still.

Once you do, you look up to see Jaemin looking down at you with utmost adoration (like, you can literally see hearts and rainbows and stars in his eyes) as he slowly turns to you, 

"Did you know? You look like a puppy drying itself after a shower when you do that" 

Chenle- 

You'd be at a basketball date with Chenle when he'd first see you.

It's probably his loud scream from near you that triggered it after he scored a hoop but you'd immediately crouch down in order to not fall painfully onto your butt at the sudden movement. 

Chenle would be quick to rush over to you and inquire if you're okay, "I'm fine, it's just the tics, I'm fine i swear," 

After ensuring that you are, infact okay he'd immediately get back to teasing you, "You see, i know your neck or head probably hurts right now but uhm.. My five dollars, loser?" 

He wouldn't be the type to push onto the topic unless you bring up the topic yourself, instead he'd divert the attention onto something totally unrelated. 

Jisung-

You'd be having a study date at the library when it takes place. 

It's the stress from the hours of studying without any other movement that triggers the tics. In all, you'd be in a very sensitive state once your movements come to a stop.

Taking a notice on the situation Jisung would quickly clear up the place and drag you out to the open but does not bring up the topic (no matter how curious or concerned he is) since you probably don't have the energy in you to explain it out to him. 

"Let's take a break, studies are secondary, we could always catch- oh! Isn't that the bakery that sells your favorite cheesecake?"

He'd pamper you with literally everything just to drive you into a much positive mind set.

#nct dream #nct dream preference #nct dream ff #nct fluff #nct ff #nct dream fluff #nct dream reaction #nct reaction #renjun ff #renjun fluff #mark ff #mark lee ff #jeno ff #jeno oneshot #haechan ff #donghyuck ff #jaemin ff #jaemin fluff #jaemin fluff drabble #chenle ff #chenle fanfiction #jisung ff #park jisung ff #nct dream missing hours #nct dream soft hours #nct 127 #nct preferences #nct u #wayv

[wisteriashouse]

training.

pairing: rengoku kyoujurou x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 2213

“Remember our deal?”

Kyoujurou calls from the other side of the dojo with a bright grin as he points his bokken straight at you, stance firm and eyes unwavering. In response to his enthusiasm, you only let out an exhausted sigh as you grab your own wooden sword from beside you, wiping the sweat from your forehead with the sleeve of your kimono. In contrast, Kyoujurou still looks totally unruffled after two hours of sparring, not a strand of bright yellow hair out of place even as he smiles radiantly at you. 

The man before you is so annoying.

“I would like to remind you that I never agreed to this.” You counter loudly, but grip your practice sword tightly with both hands, shifting into a defensive stance. Not a second too soon, as the moment you do get into position, the Flame Hashira is already flying straight at you, so quick you see nothing more than a vibrant blur of orange across your vision.

Somehow, you manage to bring up your sword to parry the attack, the sheer force from his blow leaving your sore arms shaking. Ducking to the side, you swing at his legs, but he easily leaps over your sword, laughing the entire time.

“I decided it for both of us!” Kyoujurou’s laughter echoes through the dojo, and as much as you want to refute the fact, the sound of his happiness is one of the sweetest to your ears. “Whoever loses this match pays for dinner afterwards!”

“You eat far more than me, this isn’t fair!” You protest as the tip of Kyoujurou’s wooden sword nearly takes out one of your eyes, and would have if it weren’t for a quick dodge on your part. “And besides, it’s clear you’re going to win this match! You shouldn’t be using your friends as a means to free food, Kyo!”

The Flame Pillar lets loose a booming laugh at your accusation, twirling backwards out of the reach of your sword as you lunge forward. “You know I treasure you far too dearly to ever do that to you, my friend! Simply treat this as motivation to overcome your opponent, me!” 

At his words, you blink once and shake your head hard to get rid of the blood in your cheeks. A friend, you remind yourself sharply. As kind, as courageous, as honorable of a man Kyoujurou is, he is also a Pillar of the Demon Slayer Corps. His mind is set on one thing only, slaying demons to save other humans, and he doesn’t have the time to even think about relationships.

“Perhaps when all this fighting is over.” He had told you once over tea on his engawa, smiling thoughtfully as he whisked the matcha in your cup. “For now, I do not have time to find a lover, nor the energy to give them my all. But a loving family,” he’d stolen a glance behind him at the Rengoku Estate, where you knew his father Shinjuro was perhaps lurking. It was only for a short moment, but you had understood the emotions in his heart. “That is something I dearly wish to have, someday.”

His dedication to saving others was, and still is, an honorable goal. You’re already grateful enough that he takes time out of his meagre rest periods between missions to spend time with you. You would rather not burden him with your feelings.

You’re so lost in your thoughts for a moment that you don’t realise that Kyoujurou has already darted within striking distance, his bokken colliding with yours with a resounding clack. Unprepared for the force, you stumble backwards over your own feet and fall flat onto your back, wheezing when all the breath is knocked from your lungs. The tip of a wooden sword comes to a halt squarely between your eyes.

You look up along the line of the blade to see Kyoujurou grinning at you, looking thoroughly pleased at his victory.

“Seven to two!” He announces proudly, sword still pointed straight at you. You’re going a little cross eyed looking at it. “Why did you falter?”

At his words, your heart skips a beat and you shake your head, trying to rid your head of all thoughts. Stupid Kyoujurou and his stupid charming smile. “It’s nothing, I’m just tired out. You’re the one who’s too energetic.” You try to play it off, reaching for your sword. “That’s enough training for today, I think. I’ll pay for your roasted sweet potatoes later at dinner-”

“That’s not what I asked!” Kyoujurou moves the tip of his sword down to your sternum, preventing you from getting off the training mats. You stare up at him in surprise. “My question was, why did you falter! Concentration and focus is of utmost importance in a battle, and I would hate to think that you would get hurt because of a lapse in attention! So tell me, why?”

“Kyoujurou, really, it’s nothing.” You insist, grabbing your sword. Your friend peers at you from above with slightly narrowed eyes, but eventually relents, taking a step back and holding out a hand. You take it gratefully and he hauls you to your feet with a little too much strength, your nose colliding with the firm muscles of his chest. 

At the contact, you let out a small ‘eep’ and Kyoujurou grabs you by the shoulders to steady you. Even through your clothes, wherever he touches, fire burns at your skin in the most pleasant way possible. You can’t help the feeling.

“You are sure you’re alright?” You glance up to see Kyoujurou’s face mere inches from yours, golden eyes fixed on you in concern and so close that you can feel his warm breath on your cheek. You flush this time, unable to stop it, and quickly extricate yourself from his grasp before you spontaneously combust into flames.

“I’m fine!” You manage to get out, perhaps a little too high pitched to be believable. Kyoujurou stares at you for a moment more and you desperately hope that your face isn’t as red as you think it is.

Luckily for you, Kyoujurou seems to buy it, stepping back and thankfully allowing you to catch your breath. “One last match!” He tells you insistently. “We were supposed to go for the best out of ten for this bet!” You let out a pitiful groan at the thought of taking another beating, but at least he seems like he’s forgotten about what happened earlier.

“There’s no way I’m winning this.” You mumble under your breath as you ready your sword again, more than prepared to just get bonked over the head again with Kyoujurou’s bokken. The Flame Pillar hums thoughtfully, before his face brightens all of a sudden.

“If you win this one match, dinner will be on me tonight! As long as you get me onto my back, it’s your victory!” He suggests. You squint at him with narrowed eyes, but his offer has perked you up just a little more, even though your odds of winning are still close to none. 

“Alright.” You agree, raising your sword once more. Taking in a deep breath to calm yourself, you ready your stance and shout at him. “Come at me!”

“That’s the attitude I like to see in you!” Kyoujurou laughs, before he’s before you in an instant, bokken weaving about in a series of complicated strikes. Forcing yourself to focus, you parry every single one of them before going on the offensive, driving your blade straight towards his neck and putting all the power into your legs.

“Faster!” The Pillar cheers you on excitedly even as he sidesteps you, bringing his blade up to knock yours to the side. “You’re improving, surely! That’s a great thing!”

You can’t even find the time to retort with a smart ass comment, too busy blocking his barrage of strikes and trying to keep your sword from flying clean out of your hands with each blow. He isn’t even breaking a sweat! Completely exhausted, you decide to end this match with a last ditch effort on your part, flipping your sword in your hand and throwing it blade first at Kyoujurou with all the strength you can muster. His eyes go wide with surprise for a second at your unexpected gambit and he raises his sword to block it, but that leaves him unguarded for the briefest moment. With a shout, you launch yourself straight at him, wrapping both arms around his waist and knocking him down to the floor.

The two of you crash heavily onto the mats, your sword clattering to the ground next to you. For a moment, the dojo is silent except for the sound of your heavy pants as you attempt to catch your breath, sweat dripping down your forehead and neck.

“That was a very surprising move! You have gotten me onto my back.” 

You look down to see Kyoujurou pinned beneath you, your legs straddling either side of his waist. He’s strong enough to pull you off him easily, but he’s smiling up at you, and you’re not sure which would be more lethal to your heart.

“However, that wasn’t a very smart thing to when you’re fighting a demon.” His voice is firm, but a little quieter this time. You instantly wince when you think it through, throwing the only weapon you can decapitate a demon with is surely not a plausible battle strategy. 

“Sorry, I got desperate-” You begin to say, but suddenly an iron grip wraps around both your wrists and your field of vision flips. Yelping in shock, you glance upwards and Kyoujurou is the one looming over you this time, both your hands and your lower body pinned down by his.

And he isn’t smiling.

“Kyo?” You squeak out hesitantly. There’s a different sort of fire burning in his eyes, unrelenting even as you try to tug your wrists free of his grasp. “Kyoujurou? What are you doing?”

“Throwing away your sword could put you in danger. The nichirin blade is the only thing we humans can use to fight against demons.” Kyoujurou’s voice is perfectly calm, but you’ve never heard him talk like this before. For some reason, it makes you squirm a little under his gaze; its almost predatory. “If I were a demon, what would you do?”

“I-” You flounder for a moment, trying to think of a strategy, but before a thought can so much as cross your mind, Kyoujurou shakes his head. “Too slow.”

He leans down, dangerously close, until all you can see is a head of yellow and red hair, feel the stray strands that have fallen out of the ponytail he put it in earlier tickling your collarbone. Your heart is pounding so hard you wonder if Kyoujurou can hear it, like a war drum beating in your chest.

“If I were a demon...” his breath is warm against the skin of your neck, and you let out a startled cry when you feel his teeth latch at the sensitive spot there. A shudder runs down the full length of your body, and you freeze, mortified. “If I were a demon, I would eat you up in an instant. You’re completely defenseless against me right now.”

His face is buried in your neck, so you can’t see the expression on his face. Mildly panicking, you open your mouth, and the first words to leave it are a breathless whisper.

“If you were the demon, I don’t think I would mind.”

Kyoujurou doesn’t reply for a moment, and what you’ve just said hits you like a punch straight to the gut. Before you can get the pieces of your frazzled mind together to explain yourself, Kyoujurou suddenly releases you and sits up to grin brightly at you.

You don’t know whether you’re relieved or disappointed.

“Now that won’t do!” Kyoujurou scolds you affectionately, ruffling your hair with one hand. You let out a noise of protest and bat his hands away, patting down your hair frantically. The two of you rise to your feet, your battered body protesting with every movement. “Even if I’m the demon, you mustn’t hesitate at all to cut off my head! Understood?”

You let out a sigh at his words and nod your head, already feeling the beginning of an ache settling into your muscles. You’ll have to soak in the hot springs after dinner to loosen them up, you think to yourself. Kyoujurou laughs at the expression on your face.

“Since you did get me on my back, however, I shall take it as your win!” He says cheerfully, and you immediately look up at him with excited eyes. “I’ll wait here while you get your kit, then I’ll treat you to dinner tonight as a reward.”

“Yes!” You cheer, looking positively delighted. “Thanks, Kyo!” 

You wrap your arms around him for a quick hug, before running out of the dojo with a skip in your step. Kyoujurou watches you until you’re out of sight, before he lets out a long, drawn out sigh and squats on the ground, his face buried in his hands.

“So cute.” He murmurs to himself softly, and no one but the wind hears him.

#rengoku #rengoku fanfic #rengoku kyojuro #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic #kyojuro #kyoujurou

[nonsensical-twistedriddles]

Ooh! If asks are open, can I ask you for a mermaid reader x dorm leaders+ octanivelle? Like, its canon that the mc is from another world, so what if she is a mermaid from a world where magic barely exists? Like, she can freely turn human at will but that's about it. Assuming that everyone has a crush on her, but hasn't confessed, how would they react to the reveal?

hello hello ! asks are usually open since i don’t have request limits and i write down all the ones i wanna do in my notebooks (or save them as drafts)ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ i get this strange sense of happiness when writing them all down with their categories and specific highlights. i hope you enjoy ! unrelated but someone said that lilia was like rei sakuma and hshshsh ive pulled out all my undead albums and started jamming to all the songs again,, call name, call name, we are undead!

📝to note: (1) i couldn’t write anything about vil ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ (2) length (and possibly comprehensibility) varies because i ran out of coffee at home and was half-asleep for most of these.

riddle rosehearts

Riddle had been reluctant to even participate in today’s swimming lesson but begrudgingly put on his attire and stood at the edge of the pool, glaring at the water as if it were an old enemy. It wasn’t a total loss, you were there-- nervously fidgeting beside him. He’s been crushing on you hard, to the point that his ears turn red and his stomach flutters with butterflies just with your presence.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see you anxiously eyeing the pool. “Are you feeling alright?” he asks you, voice laced with worry. Your reply came out garbled, like you were trying to say something but somehow forgotten how to speak. He leaves you alone then but would occasionally glance at you, concerned.

When it was time for you to showcase your swimming capabilities, all the worry Riddle had for you simply washed away the instant your legs transformed into a mermaid’s tail fin. 

He tries to be nonchalant about it but couldn’t help gawking at you as you did your laps. When you finish and settle to prop yourself up on the edge of the pool in front of him, you catch him staring at you. “It’s strange, isn’t it,” you say, sheepishly smiling to yourself as you collect your wet hair into your hands then wring all the water out of the strands.

“N-No!” he shakes his head with raised hands. “You don’t look strange at all, if anything you’re probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen-!” he blurts out, before bringing his hands up to silence his traitorous mouth. You stare at him with wide eyes. “O-Oh, I-,” you fumbled for words as your cheeks tinge red like blooming roses. “I see.”

After that, a silence settles itself in the air, rendering the two of you into amiable discomfiture.

“Rosehearts, it’s your turn!” 

Ashton’s booming voice makes you both jolt, ruining the moment. Reluctantly, he smiles at you and heads off.

leona kingscholar

You always had a weird fishy smell to you. 

At first, he thought nothing of this and continued to hang around you from time to time. “You know what her scent reminds me of?” Ruggie had told him once while handing him a sandwich from the cafeteria. “She kind of smells like the Leech brothers.” 

“What do you mean?”

Ruggie scratches the back of his head. “They’ve got that sea smell to them, you know? Like how most merfolk do.”

Since that day, he’s been trying to find out why you smelled that way. You were magicless so he wasn’t about to jump into conclusions but after doing a little digging and investigating on it for weeks, all evidence pointed to one thing. He didn’t want to pry anything out of you so he kept his mouth shut until the day you revealed it to him.

It was during PE class. You had told Leona that you wanted to tell him something before going over to the school’s swimming pool. He had played it cool and quietly waited on you to say what you wanted to tell him. 

“Leona, I’m actually a mermaid,” you say with downcast eyes while twiddling your thumbs.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I know it’s hard to believe but— wait what? You know? How?”

The surprised look on your face makes him chuckle. He gives you a moment to take it all in before going into full detail on how he found out; “You honestly reek of fish.”

azul ashengrotto

Azul thought he knew everything that there is to you. From your hobbies to your favourite music genre to your secret comfort place inside Night Raven College. You happily indulged all of his impudent questions. Yes, you preferred ice cream over cake. Yes, you were losing sleep because of Grim’s snoring. No, you don’t hate him and never thought any less of him after his overblot episode.

He liked your transparency-- admired it even. Around you, he felt like he was underwater but instead of having the constant sense of dread, he was at ease in the waters of your presence. There was never any need to worry over being judged. 

Now when you had asked him to show you around his hometown and he had told you to wear something casual, he hadn’t exactly expected you to show up as a mermaid. You were so stunning that he lost his composure just from the sight of you.

“Did you-,” he clears his voice, “Did you drink a potion?” 

Laughing, you reply, “No, this is what I really am.”

What you really were. Azul shamelessly examined you for a while as he took you to see boutiques and cafes, envious of your tail’s pale rounded scales and stylish web-like dorsal fins but all the while swooning over how breathtakingly beautiful you looked. When you had asked him if he was comfortable enough to change forms, he lets out a nervous laugh then hides his flustered face. 

“I’d rather not embarrass you.”

floyd leech

Floyd had always found you interesting, it’s why he liked to keep close to you.

Whenever you were around, his heart would thump so fast in his chest that he’d grin and run up to you. “Little shrimp~!” was his usual greeting, his voice jingly as he takes you into his arms. He’d never tell you but he liked having you in his arms, as much as it terrified you to even be enveloped in them. 

“That’s what you do when you hunt down people!” you complained, “I’m never sure if you’d just like to greet me or if I’ve done something wrong every time I see you.”

“Ah~ That’s the fun in it though!” he said, flashing his sharp teeth at you. 

When you transformed in front of him, his eyes widened in delighted surprise. He takes your mermaid form in, ooh-ing and aah-ing at “-how pretty you looked!” before taking you around Octavinelle’s waters and making you participate in make-up competitions just so that he could get to see how fast you swam or strong you were.

jade leech

Jade always had his suspicions. 

He wasn’t sure when it started but subconsciously he kept note of the things you did and said before coming into the realization that you have become someone very dear to him. You always spoke about the sea with a fondness that made it seem as if it were your home and frequently asked him to tag along with you to swim around and explore his dorm despite having already done so before. When you had asked him to wait then transformed in front of him before taking him out around Octavinelle, he couldn’t help but feel comforted at the fact that you trusted him enough to reveal this long held secret. 

“You’re not mad?” you asked him, shyly peering at him from behind a bed of seaweed. He gives you his signature Jade Leech smile, one that made it seem like he was laughing at your very notion and finding you amusingly silly. 

“No, not all,” he says, his eyes crinkling, “in fact, I feel very honored that you’ve told me.”

kalim al-asim

Kalim grew up in the land of Hot Sands where, instead of water, the waves were made of gold shimmering grains and that “swimming” in it would leave you parched and drenched in sweat (he would know, he learned that the hard way!). Now swimming always brought a smile to his face. Partying in pools and sharing laughs with your friends, those were certainly fun!

Though today’s visit to the pool was more of an academic requirement than a time for leisure, Kalim still beamed brighter than any star because he was taking his PE swimming class with the light of his heart: you!

Like a toddler, he swung his feet over the edge of the pool and dipped them into the water beside you. “Aaahhh~ Today’s going to be a really great day!” he twitters on, making you chuckle at his childlike enthusiasm. “Really? Why’s that?” you ask him, sinking your own two legs into the pool and looking at him intently. Kalim, suddenly growing self conscious because of your gaze, looks away and rubs the back of his neck. “Well-” he starts, letting his confidence ease back into him as he meets your eyes, “because I’ll be swimming with you!”

You blink at his words. For a second, you stare at him in surprise but his smile gets to you and makes you laugh. “Yeah, it does feel kinda great.”

When Ashton calls you up to the platform, Kalim positions himself at the other end of the pool and cheers you on. “Go Y/N! Go~!”

Ashton’s whistle blows a second later, making you jump. Kalim eyes widen as he watches you transform mid-air before plunging into the pool. When you surfaced, his heart was sent into a frenzy. Your hair and scales twinkled and your eyes, bright and demure-- you looked like a goddess, emerging from the sea to claim his soul. 

The second you change back and dried off, he pops up beside you with gleaming eyes and bombards you with countless praises and questions: “You looked so cool!” “Can you control your shift?” “Your scales were such a pretty bright colour!” “Do you think we can go to sea adventures together?”

idia shroud

Idia didn’t really want to be here.

The only reason he was was because his brother insisted on it and managed to drag him to class before he could properly lock the door. If he knew that PE today was going to be a swimming class, he would’ve persisted to not come at all.

“Ah, this sucks,”Idia mutters under his breath as thoughts of what could have happened if he weren’t here swarmed his mind, feeding into his growing bitterness. Clicking his tongue, he folds his legs into his chest and frowns into his knees then stares at the clear shimmering surface of the pool water.

“What sucks?”

Idia jolts at the sound of your voice in his ear. He moves his head a fraction to the right and somehow almost kisses you with how close your face was to his. Instead your noses touch, surprising you both. “Y-Y-N?” your name sputters out of his lips as his face flushes at the sight of your smile. He squirms to get away from you but only manages to get a few breaths in before slipping.

As he lays on the ground, feeling completely defeated, he brings a forearm over to cover his eyes from the sun’s mocking glare. Ah, the gods are so cruel.

“Idia, are you okay?”

“Aghhhhhhhhhh...”

You helped him up and, though he kept his head low while quietly cursing the gods, he seemed okay. Idia knew you wanted to stay with him out of kindness but when Ashton signaled your group to the platforms, you gave him a small smile and reluctantly headed over to the other end of the pool. 

Without you near him anymore, Idia found the strength to breathe again. Quietly, he makes his way over to a secluded corner to rest while keeping his eyes trained on you in the distance. He watches as your complexion changes and thin colourful appendages grow out of your arms and intertwined legs. Along with the heated gaze of the sun, all the shimmering lights that bounced off your scales and illuminated the tiles into a frenzy of dancing colours dizzied him to the point of passing out. As he slips into the depths of his consciousness, a thought echoes in his mind that was far too overwhelming for him to even continue to think about. 

My crush is a mermaid.

malleus draconia

You and “Tsuno tarou” were running away from a couple of students that he claims to be after him and somehow managed to to end up hiding behind a rock formation in the outskirts of the Octavinelle dorm. He had used some kind of magic of the two of you to prevent drowning and getting wet and though you were impressed by his incredible magic capabilities, you had no time to express your amazement as he quietly drags you away to hide.

“Why on earth are they after you anyways?” you asked Tsuno tarou, who shrugs from behind you. “They like to keep me under close surveillance.” he replies curtly before peering over your shoulder to watch your two chasers bicker and look around the area. You puckered out your lips at his complete lack of explanation, turning to face him with folded arms, “What do you mean by that? Just-,”

“There! I see someone!” one of them exclaims from behind you, causing you to turn back around and catch a pair of blue eyes staring right at you.

You internally groan as the two of them start swimming towards your hiding place. “Well, I suppose there’s no way out of this. It’s a shame that I’ll have to stop seeing you every night,” Tsuno tarou says from behind you, disappointed. Huffing at his gutted attitude, you face him and take hold of his forearm.

“You and I both know that it’d just be the gargoyles you’d miss because you think that the moonlight ‘encapsulates their pulchritude’,” you tell him before taking in a deep breath and closing off all of your thoughts. “You better start talking about all this later, Tsuno tarou.”

He gives you a confused look then opens his mouth as if to tell you something but you look away and concentrate on transforming. When bands of scales erupted to replace the soft surface of your skin and your legs coiled into each other, you pulled on his weight and began swimming away as fast as you could.

To Malleus, you looked mystical. He didn’t know that you were a mermaid but wasn’t all too shocked to see you transform and gracefully dart across the ocean floor with him in tow. “I meant what I said about missing you Y/N,” he says, catching your attention. You let yourself look back at him for a brief moment before averting your gaze from the intensity of his stare; he told you the truth. Your cheeks grow warm despite the coolness of the water. 

“Oh…”

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #dorm leaders #headcanons #soriwrites #im so sleepy #no more coffee at home #octavinelle #savanaclaw #heartslabyul #pomefiore #ignihyde #diasomnia #scarabia

[7wanderingpaws]

⭐️ I’m curious about about a “directors cut” for Let’s Have Some Gentle Fun and Captain Bucheon as well.

Jamie, not gonna lie but if I had to guess what youd be asking about, I would say these two! I feel like I owe you with the "Lets have some gentle fun" one shot since it was for you ㅠㅠ (this will be long, sorry)

Directors cut for: Lets Have Some Gentle Fun

(Can I just say I want to explore Jiyongs character in this one? lol totally unrelated but still... "Dragon" and his own adventures haha)

Baekhyun smiled at you kindly, his eyes following your movements the entire time despite having a beautiful chick sitting on his thighs. Gulp. Those thighs.

“Thank you,” he made sure to say, when you stood up to your full length. Shooting him a very pressed, almost painful smile, you nodded once, accidentally meeting his gaze that you thought was not on you any longer.

You were wrong. But were you wrong as well when you always felt electricity curse down your veins whenever you would look at each other? Was the attraction just from your side? Why was he so hard to approach yet so easy to talk to once you actually managed to spike up a conversation?

Right. Your friends always snatched him away. While he was the center of the circle, you were the edge; the misunderstood one yet always invited. Doing chatty-chats with the famous ones in the circle of your friends seemed to be hard because if they didn’t really vibe with you, they’d made sure you could feel it. Baekhyun not once did, yet his apologetic smiles whenever someone wanted to talk to him when he was about to start a conversation with you, hurt more than any of your other friends’ attitude.

Reciprocating his stare a little longer, you finally turned, thinking he would be paying attention to the pretty lady on his lap. Yet again, you were wrong. He was looking even when you were far gone and back to the bar to continue your shift.

Okay, stop here. This right here screams interest and Baekhyuns badly hidden attraction towards OC. He had been doing that in other scenes where he stares at her and says words that clearly mean his interest, but there is something holding him back which is his girlfriend; the one sitting on his lap, the one who will appear at the end of the storyline. Meanwhile, OC isnt as focused on his girlfriend, as she is on the reality of everyone stealing him away from her. Baekhyun can only offer apologetic smiles - why is that? OC can only interpret that as his disinterest; he isnt much different than the others. Baekhyun is being very vague again in the next scene:

“You have a man here?”

Both of you were quiet now. He was staring into your eyes, something so hard for you to decipher flashing in those deep orbs. His eyes seemed almost black, swallowing up every light that dared to enter including you.

“It’s what you all think about me, isn’t it?” you mumbled quietly. “That I bring men home, that I’m the quiet before the storm. I know that’s what you all say behind my back. I’m just living up to your knowledge.”

Baekhyun’s face became unreadable. His features evened out. “Way to ruin the mood.”

You laughed. “Whatever mood you’re talking about-“

Baekhyun made OC believe there was something happening between them in that moment. He is always unconsciously flirting with her, making baby steps to get to know OC better; it felt like he put the blame on her when in reality, he is the taken man and he is the one never offering more. And he had the audacity to act hurt at the idea of her having someone there?

He stepped closer, silencing you right away. “I know people are judgemental fucks but I would have always said otherwise about you.”

“Meaning?”

He gave you a lopsided smirk, not reaching his eyes. “I can hardly judge you when I know so little about you. I never believe those rumors and you shouldn’t give a damn either. If anything, you’re the most intriguing among our friends.”

He couldn’t tell, but breath hitched in your throat from the way his eyes were drinking you up, their intensity burning every sane thought you could produce. “Then why do you always yield to those friends? We had many chances to talk. But it wasn’t me who always turned around at the last moment.”

The tension was almost palpable when you were looking up at him.

He didn’t reply and you realized the headache you were gifted with today. Sighing tiredly, you smiled up. “Whatever. Don’t answer that. Go. I bet your girlfriend is waiting.” When he didn’t move, you snorted a laugh. “Why are you even baking at this hour? You’ll be late to work.”

Poor OC. Baekhyun was darn lucky she decided to speak up and not let him answer. He wouldnt be able to offer anything she would want to hear in that moment. I really liked these scenes because they set the diversity of Baekhyuns character, they set up the confusion, and at the same time they are enhancing OCs struggle with her crush towards him. She knows she cant have him, and she also thinks Baekyhun is just like her other friends, while she has no clue the man is attracted to her. Just for the funsies - we dont know whether he actually meant it, or whether he just wanted his desire to be satiated by her as a one night stand. I still love this plotline so much! And I think it is the most realistic kind of crush - from OCs side and from Baekhyuns side.

Directors cut: Captain Bucheon

“Then why would you do it if you don’t want to do it?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Because I’m in the student council,” you replied almost in a whine. “They asked me and I couldn’t say no!” You threw your arms around, making it sound like a big deal. And for you, it was a big deal. You didn’t like how you were easily pushed around.

Baekhyun nodded, a small smile stretching his lips when he saw your comprehension. Sweet university life. “You must be very liked by everyone.”

You froze at that. That wasn’t true. How would you tell your ex the reason everyone was all over you was because you had huge tits and you were friends with Chul? “It’s not like that…”

Baekhyun nodded, noting your discomfort but deciding against questioning it. He didn’t think he was anywhere near the position to stick his nose into your business. For all he knew, he’d scare you away like that time in the bar but, frankly, he didn’t even utter a single word that night to give you a reason for your abrupt fleeing.

“So you run here often, huh,” he heard you say and then saw you shuffling your feet, the small stones of the track field rustling under them.

So much is happening here I want to CRY! The first question Baekyhun asked is something he would definitely ask her if they were dating. He cares about her so much, he needs to ask for her reasons. Yet, Captain Byun isnt the type to be too nosy; from Burn Your Bridges we saw he was a passionate lover but very mature and responsible which also shows in the part where he didnt question her about her discomfort when he sensed it. But he still cares too much. These scenes prove how tables turned; Lee Nari is the one who is harder to reach now, while Baekhyun seems to be losing his mind a little with having the young girl back in his life. It shows in this scene:

Baekhyun was fast. Before you realized the warmth of his hand leaving yours, you heard a loud snap, his fist landing with the dude’s face. You squealed, covering your mouth in shock and just like that, Baekhyun had professionally put the lad down, having both his arms locked behind his back. It vastly made you remember when he did a similar move with your brother in his office at the police station, and chills ran down your spine.

Right. Baekhyun first arrested you, and then your brother who was still in jail until now. Baekhyun lied to you to get closer to you. Right. Right, right, right.

“Don’t ever even imagine her in your filthy mind,” Baekhyun’s voice thundered through the space.

Baekhyun lost it. And this is also a huge trigger for the OC. If you read the story, you would learn that Baekhyun would never pull this move on just a random person he needs to protect as a cop. But we are talking about Lee Nari and he would sure as hell manhandle anyone who dared to talk about her badly. Even her brother.

Your palm landed on his cheek and Baekhyun’s face snapped to his right side. “I hate you!” You shouted shakily, more tears spilling down your cheeks, the snot out of your nose. You were a mess. “I hate everything you put me through, Byun Baekhyun! You lied to me! Why did you lie to me?! I loved you!” You shouted again, and squeezed your eyes shut.

(...)

Your palms were still, pressing against his sturdy chest but you couldn’t make him move anymore. You were crying now, your voice shaking and your eyes still squeezed shut. “What did I do to deserve this… when all I did was love you honestly, purely,” you wailed, your voice sounding almost like a wolf’s howl in the empty streets of the campus. “I was just seventeen…”

Baekhyun was quiet the whole time, emotions of guilt eating him away just like they had been for the past year. His own heart was in pain and he knew how hurt you were but seeing you like this made his heart split into two. You were a complete, utter mess.

Even I felt heartbroken as I wrote that, angst at its best!! Baekhyun could finally witness just how damaged the girl is. Nari needed this. Thank God Baekhyun provided her the chance to finally speak up. I just loved the slap that she gave him, I loved how passionate and aggressive she was - with all his previous kindness, she finally erupted like a volcano. I love how she became so tired of her emotions, so tired of hating on Baekhyun that eventually led her to be in his arms. That last sentence is just as heart-breaking; your lover realizing just how much they ruined you but they still hold you in their arms. Its a little ironic, isnt it? The delicious pain of enemies/lovers trope <3 God I love them!!

- ASK ME: Fanfic Writers: Directos Cut

#ask game #fic: LHSGF #fic: CB

[dennou-translations]

Kagerou Daze VIII: Chapter 8

Children Record -side No.7-

Please feel free to message me about possible corrections. If you can, consider supporting the creators by purchasing the official releases in Japanese or in English. In case anyone is feeling generous: Ko-fi | PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

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If “not forgetting” was the prerequisite for “having memories”, what was a “memory” once forgotten called?

I roamed my thoughts, not telling anyone about the “recollections” that I seemed dangerously close to losing.

The “goodbyes” that seemed to burn our chests, the miraculous “reunions”, the “future” that we’d reached our hands out to while readying ourselves for certain death – no matter how much we cherished them, it’d be a disappointment if we ended up forgetting everything.

“Forgetting” didn’t leave even loneliness behind. As if nothing had ever existed from the very beginning, the forgotten recollection would lose even the name “memory” and be gone without a trace. It was an utterly absurd story. No matter how dear our memories were to us, we couldn’t build a fence around them. We would fail to recall even the reasons to try remembering “memories” that were truly forgotten.

Right, we were there because we’d been “continuously forgetting”. By stepping over the dead bodies of memories that we couldn’t remember, we were moving forward one way or another.

That was the only thing I didn’t want to forget.

“He~y, you awake?” an insensitive voice echoed through the madder-red-dyed classroom.

Sitting in the last row next to the window and having been watching the slowly darkening diorama-like cityscape, I turned toward the owner of the voice. Illuminated by sunset glow, Ayano’s face was openly peeking at me from the seat in front of mine.

For starters, it was all too questionable that the concept of “sleep” would exist in this ambiguous world, where we were both alive and dead, so I wondered if she was joking.

No, that was suspicious. She didn’t seem to be thinking anything.

“There anyone who sleeps with their eyes closed?” as I asked rudely, I turned back to the cityscape out the window.

At the corner of my line of sight, Ayano shrank back a little. Seeing her that way, it looked to me like Ayano had started to get a slight inkling of things. I wasn’t trying to be mean to her or anything, but to be frank, I was irritated.

“C-Could it be... you’re angry at me for not going to you for advice?” Ayano asked with upturned eyes, stirring lightly in dread.

“About what?”

“Erm, like... I came over here by myself without asking for your opinion.” Hanging her head after saying so, Ayano flickeringly peeked at my complexion.

Well, she was mostly right.

At the very least, I didn’t hate her. She’d seemed friendly with me for some reason, and it hadn’t been just one or two times that I’d watched over her studies. Of course, given that we were a guy and a girl, I thought it was appropriate for each of us to keep a secret or two from one another. But even if that much was okay, as friends, I totally thought we had a relationship where one could rely on the other and be relied on whenever we were faced with great distress.

Still, this.

Hn, well~, there sure are things about her that I’ve never heard of from the Mekakushi-dan guys! Why, she went around on her own to investigate Clearing, and dear me, all her younger siblings had superhuman abilities, so she tried to enter Kagerou Daze alone after making up her mind – the more I dig, the more bargain sales I get of stuff I was never told before.

No, it wasn’t like I was vexed that she had kept it all a secret from me, or that I wanted to know Ayano through and through, or anything of the sort. Absolutely not. It’s just that, as her friend, I felt resentment at how she had done things in a reckless way without taking herself into consideration.

When I glanced at her, Ayano reacted to my gaze and her body shrank back uneasily.

Dammit... Acting like a little puppy...!

Trying to take advantage of my conscience would get her nowhere. Who knew how badly my heart had ached because of her during these two years?

Other men might end up easily forgiving you, but Shintarou-san isn’t the kind of skirt chaser who’d yield to that. Shintarou-san’s been severe lately.

“Well, things are the way they are. Even if I judge you at this point of the game, there’s no helping them.”

How regretful. Shintarou-san does wind up easily forgiving a girl when she fidgets at him.

Perhaps thinking that I was going to scold her or something, Ayano stared blankly at me for a bit, and then gave a faint smile, looking apologetic. “You’re as nice as ever. That’s why you ended up here, Shintarou.”

“Shaddap. You’re the same as me, aren’t you?” leaving my inward gags aside, I used rude language to dodge the embarrassing mood.

My bodily sense of time told me that it had been approximately one or two days ever since I was swallowed by Kagerou Daze. Still, in an environment where I could get neither sleepy nor hungry, there was probably not much meaning in relying on body sensations.

According to Haruka-senpai, there was a huge gap between here and outside regarding the flow of time. I had a rough idea of it from listening to Hibiya talk about how “the same day had repeated over and over”, and sure enough, there was no logic or reason to it. It indeed didn’t seem like I had been wrong about this being a world removed from common sense.

“But I was really surprised. To think Shintarou would be fighting together with everyone.”

“I was the last person who could’ve imagined something like that. Working my ass off to read deep into things for someone else’s sake just isn’t like me...”

“Nope, you’re wrong. I don’t know why, but I’ve always felt that it’d turn out like this. That Shintarou would do his best to protect everyone.” Ayano added, “That’s why I couldn’t tell you anything” at the end, shying out.

So she had expected that I’d fight.

Well, it wouldn’t not be inevitable that I’d get myself involved in this as long as Momo was an Ability User, but she shouldn’t know that Momo was an Ability User in the first place. If so, I couldn’t believe right off the bat that she had anticipated things would turn out like this, since I was “someone unrelated” to her in the end.

Hm. Wait a minute. Hahaan, don’t tell me...

“Could this be consolation for a ‘non-Ability-User’ like me?”

By some sort of karma, everyone I’d been involved with in high school had become an Ability User. Yet I was the only one who was still a newborn Bambi until now. I didn’t think hatefully of that, but I wondered if she didn’t think of me as inconvenient, since I was the sole person who hadn’t gotten his hands on an Ability out of our group of four friends.

Regardless, Ayano responded to my sarcasm-mixed words by shaking her head furiously. “I-I’m serious! I saw Shintarou fighting even in my dreams!”

“Hoh, what kinda dream was that?”

“Erm. One where Shintarou was standing coolly in front of everyone and flashily defeating the boss. You were wearing a bright red full-body unitard with the sunset on your back, saying, ‘Sorry for the wait! Here’s the unmatched super hero!’ and swinging an iron ball with a chain...”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!! What sorta perverted bastard is that?!! That ain’t related to Abilities by a single millimeter, and actually, it didn’t become true at all, did it?!”

Halfway tending to trip, Ayano, who had been imagining me swinging around an iron ball, abruptly returned to reality. “That’s true. Gee, I wonder if it was in a different dream...”

“More like, just how often have you dreamed of me...?”

It was repulsive to think that I played an active role inside her brain clad in a transformation suit of sorts. Nevertheless, Ayano herself said something spine-chilling, like, “M-Might’ve been pretty often...” with her face turning red for some reason.

“B-But y’know, there are many Eye Abilities, so it’s not weird that there’s a power like sharing a future, is it?”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised no matter what comes up at this point, but are you the Ability User who can see this future?”

“No way! I’m totally not that!” resolutely denying it, Ayano made an X using her arms with a smack.

“Then isn’t this theory a bust?! Don’t try to justify the version of me that’s haunting your brain. First things first, take off the unitard!”

“Eeh?! If the unitard is off, the cool part is gone...”

“Eh, then wasn’t I unnecessary from the start?”

How tiring.

Aah, I was remembering it. You’d need a huge amount of effort to talk to her; about as much as when talking to Ene. It was a meaningless conversation, almost as if we were speaking just for the sake of “speaking”... Not knowing to settle her tone down even after dying made her a terrifying fellow.

But these aren’t pointless conversations like the ones of back then, I guess.

Precisely because she had died, she had played a major role in the fight of the outside world. As proof of this, she earlier had talked about what had been concerning her for a bit.

Praying that it wouldn’t be a fruitless conversation, I opened my mouth, “Just now, you said your Ability isn’t the power to see the future, right?”

“Ah, yup. I did.”

“Then, what Ability did you get?”

Silence.

“Aah, that’s right! I had to talk about it!!” Pushing the chair with a clatter, Ayano stood up all of a sudden with vehement vigor.

“Hyan!!” and I, exceptionally surprised by it, fell backward while letting out an uncanny cry. Splendidly hit the back of my head. If this weren’t the inside of Kagerou Daze, it would’ve been an accidental homicide.

“Uwaah! Sorry, sorry! Well, about the Abilities...”

“W-Wait a minute, your tempo is too fast; at least lemme fix up the chair.” I frantically got up from the floor, putting the chair back in place with a rattle.

Just trying to have a proper conversation with her was that exhausting. Most likely, by the time she finished introducing the topic, my soul would have eroded and disappeared.

“Well, then.”

“Yeah.”

We pulled ourselves together and re-started the conversation.

“I think it’s better for me to begin explaining from the time I came to this world... to Kagerou Daze.”

“Sure. Got any confidence that you can explain it decently?”

“N-Not much, but... I’ll do my best.”

That’s the spirit. Let’s hear it.

“See, it’s about the day... when I did that thing on the rooftop.”

“W-Wait a minute. Can’t you stop talking this way? It’s too lighthearted, kinda like—”

“Geez~, and here I’d finally come up with a good explanation! Be quiet and listen!” Ayano flat and moderately hit the desk.

She was mad at me. I listened in silence.

“Right after I entered Kagerou Daze... I met a girl named Azami.”

“Azami”. The originator who had birthed the Abilities and the first victim of Clearing’s plot.

I used to have no idea about what had happened to Azami herself after she transferred Abilities to people on the outside, but this meant that she had been staying in Kagerou Daze while retaining her consciousness. I couldn’t think that Ayano would lie on purpose. If they had met, then that was probably the case.

“She was really weak. Until that point, she’d been existing as a spiritual body with the power of Stirring, which she gave to Takane-san, but then it was gone too, so it seemed she was at her limit.”

“I... see. So Enomoto became Ene after that.”

“Yep, yep. My, how can I put it...? Takane-san got a-all bright after that, huh?” Ayano seemed to be choosing her words most carefully out of respect for our senior, but as expected, the strain at the edge of her lips didn’t fool anyone.

Rejoice, Enomoto; your dear junior saw it all.

Perhaps having noticed my grin, Ayano said, “L-Let’s leave that aside” and resumed the talk, tending to tumble. “After losing her physical and spiritual body, Azami had only one power left. That was the Ability I received,” saying so, Ayano pointed at the corner of her eye.

“The last one... I also didn’t know about this.”

The “Ten Abilities” cited in Azami’s diary were mostly referenced by name. However, no matter how many times I counted, there were only nine names in it. Those nine Abilities applied to the powers residing in the people outside. In other words, the one residing inside Ayano was the Tenth Ability, which hadn’t been listed in the diary.

Tapping with the finger that was aimed at herself, Ayano spoke with slightly wavering words, “This is a bit of a weird Ability. It’s got a nature that’s a little different from the other Abilities, so to say; it’s an Ability that sprouted from Azami’s ‘heart’, like... Would you understand if I say it’s a power created from the feeling of ‘wanting to convey’?”

“Nope, don’t get it at all.”

“Thought so.” Ayano exhaled a prolonged sigh with a “haah~”.

My, you sure are doing your best for someone so bad at explaining stuff.

“Ah, that’s right. Then wouldn’t it be better if I did it like this?”

One instant.

Almost as if shaded with sunset glow, Ayano’s dark brown hair was pregnant with a dense orange color. That was the activation of an Ability, which I had witnessed countless times. Still, the “sense of pressure” that seemed to be released from Ayano’s two eyes was nearly non-existent.

“Y’see, I think it’ll probably the easiest way for you to understand if I do it like this... Can you accept it?”

Ayano’s words and the movements of her lips incited a natural nod from me.

“Thank you. Then, I’ll ‘convey’ it to you, ‘kay?”

The color that appeared to be swaying inside her irises flared up all the more intensely. Unable even to blink, I simply surrendered my body to the persuasiveness of those orbs.

“Favoring Eyes.”

I was in a dark place. There was no right, left, up or down. It wasn’t cold or hot.

It was that kind of place.

“You’ll disappear, won’t you, Azami?” a voice rang throughout the complete darkness. Even if I chased for the voice’s owner, I couldn’t find her.

And there was one more voice. It came closer as if to nestle with me, word overlapping upon word, “Yeah. I am glad I could talk to someone like you in my last moments. More than anything, I am sorry for not having been able to do a single thing for you all until the very end. Truly, I am sorry...”

“I don’t want you to cry, ‘cause I’m also holding back from doing it.”

“I-I am not crying. It was just snot that came out. Besides... my ‘memory’ has already been delivered to your heart, right?”

“Yep, it has. Azami, I’ve definitely received your ‘memory’. That’s why I’m not lonely anymore.”

“Is that so? Then I am relieved. In the future, this ‘memory’ might be useful for something. The ‘memory’ is not me but the precious ‘feelings’ I had when I was alive.”

“Really, you’re right. I can understand your ‘memory’... as if it were my own. You’ve been doing your best to live on for such a very long time, huh, Azami?”

“Ugh... hic...”

“Aah, sorry. I didn’t say it out of thinking about making you cry.”

“That’s not it; that’s not it at all. It’s just... I’ve never even dreamed that someone would say something like this to me.”

“You’re a real crybaby, Azami. It’s okay; ‘cause I-I... surely won’t forget...

“What, but aren’t you also crying?”

“E-Ehehe. We’re together on this, huh?”

Silence.

“It is already time. Lastly... I will leave this with you.”

“Egh...”

“It is my ‘heart’... the power named ‘Favoring’. It is the power to convey ‘feelings’ and ‘memories’... Surely, if it’s you...”

“Hic... u-ueeh...”

“Welcome back. Did it get properly conveyed?”

“Yeah, it did.”

The color of the classroom dyed in scarlet was unfading, softly enveloping my consciousness as I was pulled back. It wasn’t like I’d been “shown” or “told” anything, yet a memory of Azami and Ayano’s encounter found itself inside my head as if it were logical.

“Shintarou, could it be you’re crying?”

“I ain’t crying. It’s just snot that came out.”

Ayano stared at my face for a bit, and perhaps realizing the meaning of those words, she gave me a shy smile.

I started thinking about Ayano.

The environment encircling her when she was still alive was wretched to the point of making me sick. To think that she had lost her precious mother, that her father – who used to be her only foundation – went through a transformation, and that her siblings and school seniors were taken as hostages. It wasn’t the kind of story that would only go as far as making your insides boil.

And so, Ayano had jumped from the rooftop, entering Kagerou Daze through cutting her own life short. Kano had made guesses about it; that as a result of linking her mother’s notes to Clearing’s plans, she had probably thought she could hinder Clearing’s plot of “gathering Abilities to make a Medusa” if she got her hands on one of the Ten Abilities.

Through my meeting with the Mekakushi-dan guys and connecting the pasts that each of them had talked about, I had arrived to the true motives behind Ayano’s actions. I had been accompanied by inevitable rage. That was why I’d sustained myself on that rage and fought. I’d been beating the hell of out this shitty world, which had been making people like them – who were living in desperation – into fools, pushing ridiculous absurdity onto them, and trying to rob them of even their future.

And the outcome of that fight was as one could see.

There wasn’t a single means of salvation, and neither was any miracle going to happen. The plan I’d come up with through milking my brains out also hadn’t served to save everybody. There was really nothing more worthless than the fact that, if there was just one thing I could do, it was to talk to my dead friends.

Nevertheless, even if I died, even if I rotted, there was one truth that I couldn’t escape from. Outside of Kagerou Daze, the Mekakushi-dan guys were even now fighting against the enemy. Just because I’d died, there was no way I alone could put an end to it on my own accord. And it seemed I wasn’t the only one thinking so.

Ayano and I looked into each other’s eyes, and as if confirming one another’s wills, we exchanged words.

“Must keep it up until the end, huh?”

“Yeah, it ain’t over yet.”

At Ayano’s unfaltering words, I was convinced of one thing. Most likely, she and I were imagining the exact same conclusion for this battle.

In the first place, this fight had pre-existing conditions thrust into it from the beginning. The enemy was an immortal Ability itself, and the only one who could control it – the Medusa – didn’t exist in this world. So long as the enemy was immortal, if Mary didn’t turn into a Medusa and make it powerless, the Ability Users would all be brutally killed, no matter how much they ran or tried to buy time. Still, for Mary to become a Medusa, she had to draw the Abilities out of the Ability Users.

In other words, from the very start, the development where all of us would survive didn’t exist in this battle.

It was a cruel story that nothing could be done about, but it was the “reality” of this struggle. As long as we couldn’t all survive together, we couldn’t puff out our chests and claim that “we won”. And, albeit being aware of these prerequisites, everyone from the Mekakushi-dan had thrown themselves into the fight.

If only we’d managed to figure everything out sooner, faster.

It was too late for being frustrated over that or anything else at this point. Because, right now, everything had come to the moment just before the end.

Still, there was only one thing. It was a mere possibility, but there was something left in our hands. It was liable to turn out as meaningless, but if we hadn’t fought, we would never have been able to get our hands on it. Just as there was no “victory” for us in this battle, as long as we had that thing, there was also no “defeat”.

After all, the goal we carried was not to “win”.

“I left just one thing behind on the other side,” saying so, I took a cellphone out of my jersey’s pocket, put it on the desk and tilted my neck at Ayano.

“A phone? I think it won’t connect with the other side, though...”

“If you think on ordinary terms, that’s how it’d be. Except, there’re guys who ‘ain’t normal’ on the other side.”

It didn’t even serve as an all-or-nothing, and it seemed suspicious that it’d be as much as a one-in-a-million chance; that was the kind of bet it was. And even if it became true, that didn’t mean it could knock down the enemy. Simply for the sake of grasping an “extension”, I’d entrusted one last wish to that girl.

“Even if you thought it out, you normally wouldn’t do something like that.” Perhaps having understood my anticipations, Ayano gave me a strained smile.

“I might’ve stopped being ‘normal’ too.”

Seen from the sidelines, me betting my own life not for the sake of surviving or fighting, but merely for “choosing”, probably came off as an abnormality. And so, I ruminated inside my mind for our clichéd purpose, which we had decided upon in that hideout.

Our child-like objective of “not giving up on the future no matter what”.

#kagerou project #kagepro #mekakucity actors #kagerou daze #kisaragi shintaro #kisaragi shintarou #tateyama ayano #shinaya #azami #summer time reload #jin #novel #my translation

[spacemilkies]

gateau→  ; part i of iii

pairing: cal kestis x reader

word count: 2.5k+

summary: “So you had a Jedi as a roommate … that wont be a problem in the future or anything.”

a/n:  a bunch of new things to get me writing. all written at some ungoldly hour. this will probably be a three part series. something short and simple, based off the prologue with some background. hey, no song fic for once. i spent all day in this fandom. i feel ready. put me in coach.

                                                                    _______

“C’mon just this once, please.”

“Oh ho, no no. This is definitely not the first time.”

There was never a good reason for your roommate to visit you on the job. Not only were you stationed on opposite side of the station, you differing positions also lessened the opportunity for you to meet up without explicit reason. 

He was a rigger and you were a builder, simple as that. 

You refrained from lifting your mask, maintaining a sense of distance from the conversation as you continued to weld the two pieces of metal together. Maybe if you did your job hard enough he would eventually give up out of respect of your workload….

Who were you kidding.

A fiery shock of red hair crouched down next to you, apparently uncaring for the wayward sparks emitting from your torch. It was only when he dared to lean closer that you reluctantly cut the power out of concern for basic occupational safety. 

Flipping the hood of your mask, you gave him your sharpest glare to which he combatted easily with a killer smile. If only it was as effective on his conquests as he seemed to think the same applies to you. 

“You’re all just going to melt it down any.”

Any metals and ores that made it up here were better than the average scraps found in the lower sectors and certainly worth a pretty sum of credits. It was your roommate's favorite way to exploit your job and threaten your only means of survival in the same breath. 

 Darting your gaze around, you found that for once your colleges were rather forgiving of personal space. Though it didn’t mean that your supervisors wouldn’t have watchful eyes on your every move. Hence why these daring favors tended to have more impact than meaningless valve. 

You weren’t agreeing. Definitely were not going to get drawn into to those pleading baby blues. You were just curious. 

“And what exactly do two upstanding individuals as yourselves need with my fine metals?”

Cal’s smirk was shallow but no where lacking in its killer properties,” I’d bend your fine metals anyway.”

With a huff, you nudged him away with your shoulder. Practice allowing you to ignore the faint flush it brought to your cheeks. 

“You’re wasting time, Cal.”

“Just something nice. I’ll pay you back.”

You were not going to fall for it Totally, explicitly would not lose resolve on your promise to not give in like last time. You were strong and resilient and Cal was a big boy with his own means of survival and-

“I swear to all above, Cal if you-”

The force of his lips against your cheek nearly knocked you over and you were left momentarily stunned as nimble fingers searched knowingly against your body. Before you knew it, he was drawing away, your access card in hand. 

You should be happy with how quickly he scrambled to his feet, prepared for a hasty departure. It wouldn’t be long before your superiors began making their rounds and the last thing they wanted to see was a scrapper hunting around their stores. 

Gesturing with two fingers against his temple, Cal waved off before he disappeared around the corner. 

“Why are you not working? Your pay is based on your progress, not your time.”

Swallowing down a retort, you merely smiled shallowly in response to the haughty order as you tugged back down your face mask, Cal’s phantom touch still lingering against your form.

“Of course, sir.”

                                                                    _______

It should be said that Cal wasn’t a terrible roommate. In fact, when he first responded to your advertisement you had a feeling that he would actually be a helpful one.

That was a lie.

You knew that he would be a cute one. Someone that you would have to try /really hard to keep your hands off of. Fortunately for you, at the beginning he felt more like a brother than a bachelor. His boyish habits cutting into some of his charm.

It didn’t take much longer than that before the two of you fell into a rhythm of sorts. 

Having another human around was kind of nice too. 

Not to say you preached xenophobia. Some of your closer friends on this desolate planet were part of varying species. But in a way it aided in building a familiar quality of home even as you reside on the opposite side of the galaxy. 

Cal was moderately fair roommate. He wasn’t spotty with rent and you split the amenities, as scarce as they were, fairly. He was a little messy but not in the obnoxious unhygienic way. 

Everything was balanced. 

And you couldn’t really complain. 

He was a great guy. His humor and antics proving to raise your mood after a long day. Just the way he spoke about his own day bringing tears to your eyes and curling your stomach with laughter. 

You were a capable engineer, even though your talents were wasted on rebuilding the same schematics over and over again. At home, you are able to hone your own skills. Working on various knick knacks and gadgets. It was nice to have a second opinion as well. 

The two of you had spent many nights huddled around the living room surrounded by scattered parts and various prototypes. Only to have to separate the more advanced ones in fear of being caught. 

It was nice. 

                                                                    _______

“Damn, I didn’t think the boss would ever let you off.”

With less finesse and not a care in the world, you dropped haggeded into the seat offered by your friends. After another long week it was nice to finally load off with a few drinks and company chatter. 

For some reason the quota skyrocketed in the past few weeks. The recycling of old metal into new vessels becoming an unrelenting force on your crew. 

It turned out to be one of the worst moments to find yourself promoted. 

To think just three weeks ago you were throwing around drinks in celebration and now you were ready to drown out the accomplishment with whatever was on tap. 

“Apparently they’re bringing in a huge freighter soon,” you called out solemnly. Your supervisor had shown you the schematics of the parts that would be salvaged and what they wanted to accomplish with its predecessor. 

After another long shift all you could really make out was work and more work. 

But at least the same would be said for the riggers. 

To your right Reif, a Rodian, spoke crudely over a mouthful of food,” Yeah, been hearing about that one for sometime now. Suppose to be a Separist ship. Going to be quite the project.”

Slouching idly in your seat, you played lazily with the handle of the mug offered to you. Just another long project to keep you stranded on this planet. Not to say you had any plans otherwise. 

If anything you should really thank them for giving you something to focus on. 

Garnering everyone’s attention with a slam of her glass against the table, Enisa a pretty pale blue Rylothian, slurs loudly,” Enough of all this work talk. Let’s focus on something else.”

Then she’s sliding sharply into you, leaving you to fumble with your own glass,” Like your roommate. Why didn’t you tell me he was available.”

Because you weren’t in the market providing companions?

Your furrowed burrow must have voiced your thoughts because she was rolling her eyes without your verbal response. 

“Oh don’t play dumb. You’re harboring one of the few attractive souls on this god forsaken planet. And you’re not even bumping uglies with him, what a shame.”

You were stuck between defending your own choices and wondering when she learned such a human phrase. It was hardly worth the effort of explaining how the two of you just weren't like that. Your inventory of excuses were running dry.

“Stop making it awkward for her, she has to live with the guy.”

Catching Reif’s gaze over the rim of your glass, you give him a thankful nod. The rest of your group takes the initiative to fill the silence and progresses the conversation further into the night. Unlike most outings, neither of you are able to keep up with one another past a few extra hours. The weight of the day taking more out of you as it came to a close. 

You’re not the only one grateful when Reif brings the outing to a close. 

There is just enough alcohol in your system to make you stumble through the threshold of your home, groaning quietly as you try to stabilize yourself. More likely than not Cal was already asleep and you didn’t want to disrupt that. 

Now with the evening settling into your bones, there wasn't a part of your body that didn't ache and the incoming headache didn't make any part of it better. 

Right now the couch was looking a lot more inviting than it should be. You’d deal with the consequences it would leave on your body in the morning. 

Rounding the edge, you collapsed back into the cushions.

“What the hell?”

“Shit, Cal! What the fuck?”

A sharp hiss escapes him when your elbow jabs unkindly into the softness of his side. Before you could try to remedy it, his hand is gripping your upper arm and settling you more safely in the available space rather than on top of him. 

For a moment it's just your mixed breaths as you come down from the unexpected surprise. With more care, you twist more comfortably mindful of your limbs this time. 

It's hardly necessary but you whisper anyway. 

“Why are you here?”

You feel his arm wiggling behind your head and you raise your neck obediently to allow it to rest beneath you. As a reward, the same hand curls inward to comb through your hair lazily. He works his fingers across your nape and back up to your scalp finding just the right spot and drew small circles. 

“Dunno, just came home and ended up here. Kind of like you but less dramatically.”

You snort, “Sorry, wasn’t expecting a party of two.”

He hums to himself, the pad of his thumb pressing inward in a way the manages to reset your whole mindframe and you nearly white out from the release. 

There is more that could be said but the words escape you both as you settle for the night. If you weren't already going to regret this before, you were definitely were going to more now for an entirely different reason. But there was no chance of you altering the flow of what it was now. 

You would just have to lay there and try not to think too hard about the natural slot of your body to Lance’s despite the finite space. It was much easier to count the staccato of his dull thumping heartbeat as it lulled you off to sleep. 

                                                                     _______

“Goddammit, Meeka. You’re going to wake up your mom.”

Too late. 

Though in the defense of your mischievous loth-cat, the warm smell of breakfast permeating from the kitchen was just one waft away from rousing you. Stretching out your arms, you used the length of them to hook around the back of the couch to drag you up. 

Questionably burnt but you recognize the scent of some of your favorites.You has not caught a glimpse of what he was wearing last night but Cal appears to be wearing some fresh clothes. The way the collar of his shirt is damp in the back hints towards a shower. 

Part of you wonders if breakfast is a preemptive apology towards a cold shower you would be expecting later. 

“Where do you have to go so early?”

If you startle him, he doesn't show. He slides a bit of food onto a plate, giving Meeka more than gracious portion before bringing the plate to you. You take it gratefully, balancing it on the spine of the couch.

Alert to your presence and no doubt ready to beg for more scraps, you watch unimpressed as the feline-like creature slinks against you. She gets what's expected anyway as you part with a strip of meat.

Leaning against the counter within view, Cal scolds you playfully. “And you said I spoil her.”

“You start it,” you retort without any bite.

You blame the queasiness on residue alcohol when he laughs warmly. 

“Oh. “ You look up and Cal has a fork pointed at you. ‘’Your access card is on the table there.”

You’d already forgotten about that.

“Get anything good?” Safely, is weighted on your tongue but it seems like a waste to add it. Cal has always been mindful of his self, actions and footsteps in a way that makes you wonder how long he’s been watching his own back. 

In the few years you’ve known him, things like the past rarely came up. No one really came to Bracca chasing a future. It was just a means to an end until you could find something better if you could manage to get out. 

You hard already stopped trying when Cal stumbled into your life. But now it hardly seemed like a bad thing. 

The clank of dishes brings you out of your thoughts. His back is to you now as he cleans his mess.

“It will be a nice personal pay raise, that’s for sure. Prauf sends his thanks too.”

Cal surprises you again when he comes to collect your empty plate. Rather than comment it on it, you lounge comfortably in the domesticity of it all. 

“What’s your plan for the day?”

That was a good question. 

Your body had an obvious vote towards rest but responsibilities made a greater bid on your time. A bit of shopping would unfortunately be necessary but your savings would have to survive. Between the recent raise and this upcoming project, you should survive to hit. 

Replenish resources it would be then. At least if you start early enough it would allow you to relax for the remainder of the day. 

Cal’s gaze follows as you stretch and eventually slink off the couch. Meeka happy to have the entire furniture to herself doesn’t waste a moment to snuggle into your lingering warmth. 

“Down to the Bazaar first, then after that we’ll see.”

But first to see how much hot water you were going to be working with. Yawning loudly, you get to work with untangling the mess of your hair. Just before you can round the corner, Cal calls out to you.

“Want to make it a date?”

It’s an innocent play of words. One’s he’s used in the past without acting on it. 

‘And you’re not even bumping uglies with him, what a shame.’

And just when you finally stopped overthinking it.

Peeking over your shoulder, you found Cal waiting expectantly yet so unaware of the winds of the storm picking up in your mind. Was it even worth it to wonder if similar thoughts ever troubled him?

-nah, it was just easier to smile.

“Yeah, it’s a date.”

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order writing #im on a roll

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {6}

Summary: Knowing the truth, Y/N wants to force Ethan to confess and in her attempt to prank him into doing it, she realizes the joke’s on her.

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, talk of depression and anxiety

Word count: 4700+

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are, Isak Danielson - Love me Wrong, Dove Cameron - Remember me, Tom Odell - Can’t pretend, The XX - Angels, Coldplay - Fix you, Coldplay - The scientist, Elvis Presley - Can’t help falling in love.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is!

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

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Eccendentesiast (n.) - someone who hides pain behind a smile

Finding out something that absolutely goes against all you believe in isn’t quite something Y/N expected to happen once she woke up in the place she felt safest in all her existence – Ethan’s bed. She had never thought that something so earth-shattering, so unbelievably life-changing could be hiding in that brain of his she adored so much and while she felt the urge to scream at him, to throw a tantrum, even contemplated burning his damn apartment to the ground, she just sighed instead. There was no fight, no defiance left in her – yet she embarked on a journey, passing the stages of grief within minutes.

First came denial. Her shaky hand covers her mouth to stifle a whimper aching to escape her quivering lips, her breath shallow as she tries to understand. It wasn’t possible, right? She would have known if he were the one, right? Being around him all that time and not knowing? She didn’t know if that was ever recorded or if she is just the worst in detecting the man who is meant to be her soulmate. After all the time they’ve spent together, why would he keep quiet on such an important subject? Why would he have ever lied to her? Well, he didn’t necessarily lie, but he did omit a pretty big truth.

“Will you ever tell me about her?” Her voice is quiet, small, meek. She doesn’t really want to know, or ever hear him talk love with someone other than herself, but that tiny bit of silver in his hair haunts her more than she anticipated.

Ethan wets his lips, the corners of those soft plush rosy colored cushions she craved every minute of every time twitch and she can’t help her stare, nor the odd fixation she has with them. She had never met a human being with lips as perfect as his and she never thought there would ever be a pair of lips she’d be addicted to as much as she is to his. They’re a drug – he is a drug, but he’s the drug she chose and she couldn’t and wouldn’t rehab from.

“Do you want to do a heart transplant with me today?” And typically, in Ethan fashion, Y/N received no answer, however, the way he shifted her attention to anything but her question was effective and she quickly forgot about it altogether. 

At least for the day.

Then came anger. How many times did she ask him about his soulmate and he just bribed her into forgetting it? How many times did he have her right in the palm of his hand and he completely disregarded her or her wish to know? Or how about the fact that he knows exactly where she stands on the soulmate connections and he chose to hide it from her? Did he know from the start? Did he know it that night in the bar when she was just a wreck looking to lose the soulmate she happened to stumble upon? She wanted to find a way to wreck that love before it ever began and he was there? He must have seen the silver in her hair appear right before his eyes and yet he continued to flirt like nothing was wrong at all? Why? Why is he so cruel and selfish? Why couldn’t he just tell her the truth? Instead, he got into her bed and her heart and mind and she can’t deny that he’s there to stay. Now she understood his reasoning about pulling out and using condoms…he was afraid she’d get pregnant, not because they might get an STD.

“Fucking asshole.” She mutters under her breath as her eyes focus on her hands in her lap, her head throbbing as she glances back at the door, realizing they must have wised up and went to talk somewhere she can’t hear their lies become truths.

“You really want to use a condom? Don’t guys usually convince girls otherwise?” She rolls her eyes, wishing he would drop the ridiculous request yet all he does is pull his boxers up, much to her dismay.

“I’m not going to risk our health for a momentary pleasure. Y/N, we’re not exclusive and that’s something I’d love to change, but unless you do too, I’m not going in raw anymore.” Emotional blackmail, that’s how she saw it at the time – an ultimatum where he used her horny needs for his own use and while she wasn’t about to completely fall for it, she groaned and parted her thighs to give him a view he would build a shrine to if it didn’t make him feel like a total creep.

“I’m not ready for that. But if it means so much to you, put the condom on and get to work because a certain Grant had stressed me the fuck out and I need to get it out of my system.”

Third came bargaining. Finding excuses for him is incredibly easy for her, trying to make his actions justifiable. After all, didn’t she tell him she wouldn’t be with her soulmate? Didn’t she make it clear she wasn’t interested in ever going down that road after her parents showed her all the wicked ways that bond can work against you? Maybe he was just scared of losing her? Maybe he’s still scared she’d walk away and leave what they’ve built from ground up? But how could he think that after all they’ve been through? After she opened up to him, laid her soul bare? After she resorted to acting as his girlfriend without the official label? She did that to make him happy – everything she did was somehow connected to a smile she hoped to see.

“Look what I got you!” She tosses a surgical cap his way, too fast and off target and with no previous warning so much so he barely grabbed it as it fell toward the ground. Hospital floors may be clean, but they’re not that clean.

“What the? Turtles?” Ethan’s voice went higher as he questioned her choice, even more so when he saw her giggle as if she cracked some major code to his personality and while he found himself confused, he couldn’t help but chuckle to appease her. He could never not smile when she laughs.

“I heard Grayson call you turtleman and I found this the other day and you popped in my mind. You’re the only surgeon I know who doesn’t have his on-brand cap. Thought I’d fix it.” And with that victorious smirk of hers, she left him smiling like an idiot. He never liked customized caps, never wanted one, but she changed that in an instant. Even if it’s silly, he would wear it if it made her happy. Always.

But when depression settled in, she was defeated. There was no way around a fundamental concern that hounded her brain. What if Ethan only loves her because he knows she’s his soulmate? What if all of it was a lie? Their love felt like a cosmic joke now, something that rose bile in her throat and she couldn’t help but question his feelings for her. She loved him for him, but did he love her for her or the promise of true love? Is that what this was about? Could she have avoided him? If she locked the world away, would she have managed to escape this unrelenting pain inside her chest with the thought of Ethan’s feelings being fabricated? She always believed you should be your own planet, high up in space, but rooted in yourself. Then he came and anchored her and she never wanted anything more than him.

“Do you ever think about a world where soulmates are just a concept? Like, no one wrote your story, you get to choose it yourself?” She wondered out loud, staring up at the moon as Ethan’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into his embrace, their breaths synchronizing as he dipped his head in the crook of her neck and his lips placed a feather-light kiss upon her collarbone.

“No. I feel like we still have a choice in everything. You could escape your soulmate, or you could seek them out. You choose if you want to be romantic, friendly, or nothing at all. It’s not so bad, even if you find yourself addicted. What’s so wrong about loving someone that is made for you?” His low tone had given her chills, his beating heart made her heart still. The effect he has is unparalleled with anything she had ever experienced and he was only holding her. Why would she want anything more than him?

“In that case, I’m always finding myself addicted to wrong things.” She heard him hum in curiosity, his lips ghosting over her shoulder before leaving a quick peck that made her smile fondly, widely enough to wonder if she ever smiled as much before meeting him.

“You, for instance.” Turning her head to the side, her eyes find his as quickly as his lips find hers. There was never a need for words between them, their eyes and actions spoke volumes instead.

In the end, she faced acceptance. Ethan lied, hid things, manipulated her, but she understood why. She had ruined every chance he had to be honest and while she’s still cross with him for doing it, mostly because she could have been knocked up in her intern year, Y/N accepted he did it for both of them. It couldn’t have been easy to keep it a secret and it must have eaten away at him daily, but if he didn’t, she’d never know what it means to love a person so fully that your heart swells just by thinking of them. She’d never know what it’s like to daydream about a future she didn’t think she’d have and she would never have stuck around long enough to see what they could become. It would have been a shame to miss out on Ethan and the way he had turned her world upside down. This would be a big issue for her to get over, that’s for sure, but if the tree falls at the first gust of wind, the roots were never deep to begin with and their roots were really fucking deep.

Alexithymia (n.) - the inability to express your feelings

When she mouthed a faint ‘I love you’ to Ethan, she didn’t know if she would ever see him again. She had a madman holding a gun at the back of her neck, time just wasn’t on her side. It never was. But that’s when she realized she had more than enough chances to tell him how she felt and she always hid behind her pain instead of giving him her all. She did give ninety nine percent, but that last percent she held onto out of pure fear.

She wished she had a second chance to do it all over again – to go all in from start to finish, to tell him she loves him more than words could ever explain, that she loves him to the moon and back, that she will never stop loving him, even if the world stops spinning ‘round. She wanted to grow old with him, just him. She wanted him every day, all the time, for him to know that while she used to think love is nothing but chemistry, essentially a lie, he showed her she was wrong and she was never happier to be wrong in her life.

That’s when she realized that she used to see beauty in the world as a child, but then she learned the truth. Nothing ever lasts. This world is suffering until you’re dead and while she used to wonder why she was taking all that pain, why she bothered to wake up every day, she knew now. Her entire life had boiled down to the moment she would meet this man.

Her only regret is that she didn’t tell him she loves him enough, that the words would die with her and he deserved so much better.

And she’s still angry, vengeful even. But she can’t deny one abundantly clear fact – she loves Ethan Grant Dolan and even if he’s a lying douchebag, he’s her lying douchebag. Maybe she would forgive him eventually, but for now, she just wanted him to tell her the truth. However, instead of facing him while laying indisputable proof before him, she crafted a plan of her own.

Clearing her throat, she stood up and decided to find him and his equally treacherous brother. It didn’t take her long, because as soon as she walked into the living room, she found the pair talking in hushed voices. Grayson notices her first, slapping Ethan’s shoulder to shut up and they looked exactly like she imagined one would look if they were guilty.

“How did I get here?” She rubbed the back of her head, noticing it really is sore, likely from the fall she took earlier. Ethan didn’t blink as he rushed toward her, his big brown eyes checking her over as his hands felt drawn to her, resting on her hips to keep her steady.

“How are you?” The concern in his voice is palpable, enough for her to let a real smile slip past her.

“Confused. A bit sore. What the hell happened?” She chuckled at the continuous touches Ethan had issued as if his hands have healing abilities and would make everything stop aching. Maybe they were healing to some degree, but this isn’t something he could have fixed.

“The SWAT team got him. The girl was his daughter and he chased her and her mother halfway across the world. Abusive fuck got what he deserved.” Grayson fills her in and while she would usually be shocked by his foul language, she couldn’t really look at him the same knowing he too had lied to her. Sure, it wasn’t his secret to tell and looking back at it Grayson did drop massive hints for her to pick up on, but damn it, she thought they were closer than that.

“Good.” Swallowing thickly, she raises her hands slowly, allowing her palms to rest on Ethan’s cheeks, just noticing how pale he is. And she’s pissed at him, but she can’t help the pang of worry that makes her soften her gaze.

“I’m fine. I’m a little nauseous, but I’m fine.” She reassures him, her voice never quite as gentle as in that moment and Ethan’s lips quickly stretch into a smile she longed for - a smile she never thought she’d see again.

“I know. I’m just having a hard time dealing with today.” Shrugging, Ethan forces a smile before letting out a heavy sigh. “I really thought I’d lose you today and while I fucking admire you for being so brave, I really wish you’d fucking stop being so fearless and fierce. One day, it will get you killed and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for the pain of losing you that would annihilate me.”

Grayson took it as a cue to leave, offering a tiny wave as goodbye and “Glad you’re safe” before escaping the situation he saw as a possible fight.

But he was wrong. Instead of arguing, Y/N wrapped her arms around Ethan as tightly as possible. There was no escape, he was right. She tends to undervalue her life and offer it up whenever she deems it could save someone else. When she was a kid, she had done it when she offered her morphine to her dying friends, or when she had tackled a robber as a teenager or now, when she basically told a shooter to take her as a hostage for a child. She didn’t want Ethan to feel the loss that drove her mother to suicide, not ever. After years of wanting death, Y/N found herself wishing for a long life.

“I won’t do that again. I promise.”

A night in bed where they held each other for dear life was enough for the pair to find a way to breathe again. However, Y/N still wanted to exact her plan instead of just talking to her soulmate and expressing her feelings. It would start that morning.

Jumping from the bed, she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. Ethan jumped right after her, startled by her sudden urgency, only to find her slamming the door in his face. But when he heard the unmistakable sound of her puking her guts out, his fists connected with the door with force enough for her to realize she has to calm him down.

“Open the door!” He insisted as the sound of her throwing up stopped and silence ensued.

“I don’t want you to see me this way! Plus, I’m fine. Probably just the stress.” She lied through her teeth, smiling on the other side of the door after her performance and while she knew it was cruel, so was his choice to lie to her since the night they met, way before she was his intern.

“I don’t care if you’re drenched in puke, I want to see you.” He exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. It’s sweet, but she can’t let him in because there was no residue smell of vomit and she needed it to be believable.

“I will let you in after I shower.”

And while he had waited in front of the door like a lost puppy, she showered and painted a small smile for him to see when the door opened again.

His arms wrapped around her instantly, the warmth of his touch making her melt and a little guilty for making him worry at all, yet she didn’t give up on her plan.

“I’m fine. I’ll make us breakfast.” Pecking his cheek, she tapped it lightly before getting dressed and doing just as she promised. That’s when she implemented part two of her plan.

“Why are you opening all the windows and why the hell are you holding a wet wipe to your nose?” Ethan found himself even more concerned when he found the very appealing eggs prepared on the kitchen island and his very beautiful soulmate running around wildly as she opened every window in sight.

“I don’t know, they smell so bad. I think the eggs went bad!” Shaking her head in disgust, she furrows her eyebrows as her eyes meet his and the odd frown on his face.

“They smell delicious.” But the moment he sat down, she rushed back into the bathroom, once again locking the door and pretending to throw up while Ethan is left on the other side for the second time that morning.

She washed her mouth away with mouthwash to have a reason for fresh breath instead of the sour smell vomit would cause, only to let him in this time. The open window above the toilet seemed to be a believable reason for the lack of vomit smells and she was ready to put her slightly shaken mask back on.

“You need to see a doctor. This isn’t just stress.” Ethan spoke, his hands running up and down her back as he massaged her gently to relieve whatever stress residue she may have.

“I am a doctor and I know my body, Grant. I’m fine and I want to work. It’s probably nothing, okay?” She leans into him, wondering if the pounding of his heart that is echoing in her ears right now truly worth her revenge.

It didn’t take long for Ethan to find Grayson once they came to the hospital. He left Y/N in the plastic surgery ward, unhappy with how pale she seems and even worse, how shaken up she still feels.

 Who gets back to work just a day after a traumatic experience and even more importantly, who comes into work when they feel under the weather? 

Ethan understands she wants to be a doctor and she doesn’t exactly have an eternity to take her time with it like the other interns, but he didn’t want her to work herself to death either. His idea of their future included a long life for both of them.

“She okay?” Grayson asks as he sips his morning coffee, crumbling the plastic cup in his hand right after he’s finished as he always does.

“I don’t think so, bro. She’s pale, queasy, threw up twice and thought the eggs are rotten even though they smelled and tasted delicious. I think she’s got a stomach bug.” Ethan licks his lips as his fingers thread through his hair, contemplating if sending her home would make her hate him again. He honestly didn’t know how many more fights he could handle.

“You’re kidding, right?” Grayson chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief before leaning toward his brother, his hand landing on his shoulder, firmly clutching him.

“What?” Ethan’s disgruntled groan follows his words, sparking up annoyance as Grayson’s grin widens.

“You’re a doctor and you can’t pick up on basic symptoms of pregnancy? I mean come on!” Tapping his brother’s shoulder, Grayson relents and leans back comfortably as Ethan begins to sweat.

“Fuck, no! I’ve been careful to the point of thinking about wearing two condoms! There’s no fucking way.” Ethan insists in a state of panic Grayson could see a mile away.

“There’s no such thing as safe sex with a soulmate and you know it. Dude, you’re a dead man walking.” Grayson didn’t mean to chuckle, very much aware how fucked up this situation is, but he also spend a better part of a century studying pregnancy, he knew the symptoms like the back of his hand.

“If she’s pregnant, she’s gonna know we’re soulmates and that’s not something she should find out like that! I was gonna tell her soon, on my terms. She should have had a choice in when she wants to get pregnant! She’s gonna hate me forever.” Ethan could feel his mind slipping into madness of his own creation, shaking as his mouth runs dry and he can’t even string two sentences right

“Hey.” But then she shows up in the worst possible moment and she can’t help but notice the way Ethan paled once she walks in, making her wonder just how fast did he connect the dots. He’s clearly freaking out and she’s assuming he’s doing so because of all the hints she dropped during the morning.

“I just wanted to ask Grayson for a consult.” She feigns innocence as she walks closer to Ethan, placing her hand on his back.

“Sure, just, uh…Would you mind if I ask you something for uh….study I’m doing?” Everything he had said came with a stutter, but Grayson figured he could be inconspicuous and get some solid information on which his brother could form his next steps.

“Shoot.” Y/N cringes at her choice words, it was too soon for her to joke on what had nearly taken her life just the day before but she spoke before thinking and it was too late to take it back and neither of the twins said a word anyway.

“Are your periods regular?”

Frowning, Y/N noted the pink hue on Grayson’s cheeks, loving just how uncomfortable he feels and even more the death glare Ethan sent his way. It was pure comedy watching them sweat after they’ve played with her head for so long.

“Yeah.”

“And when was your last period?” Grayson managed to say without losing his shit, feeling as if he too would hyperventilate the longer Y/N kept quiet, mulling it over longer than she should have but they were changing shades of red right before her eyes as she widens her eyes as if she too had realized something is amiss.

“I need to go.” She had never left the room faster, making Ethan’s heart drop and there was no returning from this. Looking back at the door, Ethan imagined a Y/N shaped hole in the door, aware he’s fucked for life.

“She’s late and I’m pretty sure she just figured that out. So congratulations, bro, we’re about to have a mini Dolan with us.”

Ethan wasn’t himself that day. He had walked around the halls half dead as dread gripped him. He must have changed his clothes at least five times during his eight hour shift, each time because he sweat through the scrubs – courtesy of anxiety and a crippling fear of losing Y/N. 

How could he be so irresponsible and keep the truth hidden for so long?

At the time, he had justified it with the possibility of her leaving him in the dust, but he had no right to keep it a secret for this long. She deserved to know when they started being intimate and no matter what excuse crosses his mind, there’s nothing he can tell her to issue forgiveness once she finds out.

When he got home, he found her shoes at the door, tossed as if she was in a hurry. Surprised she had come home earlier than him when she was supposed to do a double shift, Ethan took his jacket off and called out for her.

“Y/N? Sweetheart?” No response. Swallowing thickly, Ethan rubs his face before walking into the bedroom, finding a box at the bed and the bathroom door closed with the light shining from under it.

Apprehensive, he moves closer. He wishes he is brave enough to knock on the door and tell her he loves her and that he needs to come clean about something that would impact them both, but he’s frozen as he nears the bed and the label on the box that becomes easier to read the closer he gets. He’s anxious. It comes as an electrical storm in his brain that, quite honestly, is painful. It's different from a headache and it feels the same as intense sorrow, perhaps as a sort of frozen panic with nowhere to go, and he can’t pretend anymore as his eyes finally read what the box says – Home Pregnancy Test.

“You’re home early.” Her voice is void of joy, of anger, of sadness, of emotion. She sounds defeated, exhausted, weak. With a tiny gasp, Ethan turns to see her, noticing her holding the item in question and he can hardly breathe as he takes in the disheveled look she rarely allowed herself to sport. Her mascara is ruined, her lipstick smeared and her eyes have lost their light.

“You, uh…have a pregnancy test?” Ethan could barely talk, words becoming hard to form as he tried to seem unbothered but even she could tell he was losing his shit. There isn’t a man in this world that had treated her right and just as she believed Ethan might be the one, he had reminded her just why she resisted for so long.

“It was supposed to be a joke…a way to make you confess. It’s not funny anymore.” She tossed the test on the carpet in a momentary flash of anger and he didn’t dare look down.

“Confess?” Uttering like he had forgotten how to speak, unable to move an inch, Ethan stared at her and he couldn’t even pinpoint what he feels anymore, much less what she feels.

“I know we’re soulmates. And I was angry. I was so angry at first, but I understood. I just wanted to hear you say it and I was going to make you think I’m pregnant, but I don’t have to make you think anything anymore. When Grayson asked me those questions today, I realized I really am late. Two weeks.” Sniffling, she drags her sleeve under her breath as tears form in her eyes.

“Well, your lies have caught up with us both.” She went silent as he glanced down at the test and found two thick lines have formed. Looking back at her in shock, he felt his soul leave his body and he couldn’t speak, not when he had no excuse for what just went down.

When you hurt a woman you love, most of them can't even look at you, not even turn to you. But what does a man do when the woman he hurt, the woman he loves most in the world, stares right into his soul as he shatters her completely? What can a man do when her teary eyes hold his with such bravery, such complexity as she crumbles and he has to see it happen? When he's the perpetrator and sole witness of her fall? There isn't a single thing in this world that breaks like a heart does, Ethan knew that now for in this silent exchange between their souls, the silence has never been so deafening.

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Tags: @beinscorpio​​​ @peacedolantwins​​​ @heyits-claire​​​ @dolandolll​​​ @godlydolans​​​ @dolanstwintuesday​​​ @ethanhes​​​ @iwastornsincethestart @graydolan12​​​  @zeusgrayson​​​ @libradolan​​​ @justordinaryjen​​​ @pineappledolan​​​ @graysavant​​​ @voguekristens @imayoutubere @livexdolan​​​  @shadowsndaisies​​​ @maybgrayson​​​​ @dolans4lyfe​​​​ @mendesficsxbombay​​​​ @fxkthatdairy @sharpdolan​​

Anyone crossed out wasn’t able to be tagged, probably an issue on Tumblr’s side, sorry.

#ethan dolan #dolan twins #grayson dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan angst #ethan dolan au #ethan dolan doctor soulmate au #ethan dolan doctor au #ethan dolan soulmate au #ethan dolan series #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan fanfic

[diaryofageekgirl]

Mostly for myself b/c I want to make sure I don’t lose this somehow, but here’s the literal two hour conversation that @i-miss-balthazar and I spent talking about Benny/Balthazar:

i-miss-balthazar You were the Kat from my quiz??? I had no idea you shipped those pairings! And also Madison helping Sam in purgatory would’ve been way more fitting!

diaryofageekgirl Yeah I do! I have plans to do a rewrite of seasons 8 & 9, but it'll be forever before I get to them -_- And I love Madison a whole lot and would have loved to see her in Purgatory!

^What I meant by the season rewrites is I would include those ships in them lol

i-miss-balthazar You would :0

I need to read it

Please tag me, I’m BEGGING

diaryofageekgirl When I get to writing it I will!

i-miss-balthazar Do you have any Benny/Balthazar head canons???

diaryofageekgirl I could also write you a Benny/Balthazar one shot.......on a completely unrelated note, when's your birthday? 👀

i-miss-balthazar April 28th and that would make my entire year oh my goodness there isn’t enough Benny/Balthazar content out there

diaryofageekgirl 👌

i-miss-balthazar I didn’t mean to ship them so much it kinda just happened

Maybe I just want them to feel loved 😂

diaryofageekgirl I see Benny as someone who's very openly affectionate, and Balthazar as being someone who craves affection but sort of hides behind a sarcastic front? So Benny just s l o w l y wears him down into accepting all this love and adoration and Bal pretending to hate it but is secretly melting

oh mood

i-miss-balthazar Oh my goodness my HEART 🥺 that’s the sweetest headcanon ever and I totally see it. Benny would give the best hugs, I think.Balthazar’s 100% a little spoon xD

diaryofageekgirl He's got big strong arms - great for hugging & being the big spoon 😉

i-miss-balthazar For some reason I feel like Benny is taller than he actually is? Like I looked it up and Ty Olsson is only 5’10, but I always thought he was like 6’3 😂

Have you ever written about them before that I could read???

diaryofageekgirl WAit, he's 5'10???????

i-miss-balthazar Almost 5’11 I forgot about the decimal

diaryofageekgirl No, I haven't written anything for them yet. I'm working on my finale fix-it right now, then depending on how long that takes I might be going straight into femslash february after that. But after that I will at some point

aaaaaaand I just came up with another timestamp for the mer!verse

selkie!benny & merrow!balthazar

i-miss-balthazar Y e s

I had to look up what those are but wow am I glad I did

It’s perfect

i-miss-balthazar I like the idea of Balthazar playing cool in public but when it’s just the two of them he’s an absolute suck for attention, like a cat 😂

In public: sarcasm is my main form of communication In private: please hold me 🥺

diaryofageekgirl Oh for sure, just like, flat up against Benny's back, arms over his shoulders like "pay attention to me" 😩

i-miss-balthazar What about pet names for each other???

diaryofageekgirl I mean, just imagine Benny's deep Cajun voice calling Bal "mon amour". OR "MON ANGE"

and bal would call him something totally sappy in enochian but then tell him it means "pain in the ass" or smth

i-miss-balthazar Balthazar stealing Benny’s tee shirts even though they’re way to big for him because they remind him of Benny

diaryofageekgirl yessssssss

i-miss-balthazar Benny has nightmares about pirating/purgatory so Balthazar visits his dreams to calm him down and make him happy again because he can’t stand seeing Benny upset

diaryofageekgirl They're a nightmare in the kitchen bc Benny worked as a chef for years and is very particular about how certain dishes are made but Bal just keeps Adding More Alcohol

i-miss-balthazar Benny: no, you need to boil the alcohol out to use this Balthazar: that takes away all the fun!

diaryofageekgirl Benny: If you put too much alcohol in it won't set properly! Balthazar: That sounds like a You problem

i-miss-balthazar An iss-YOU not an iss-ME!! *pours more in*

diaryofageekgirl 🤣🤣🤣

i-miss-balthazar Benny’s not a morning person, and because Balthazar doesn’t need sleep he’s a morning person by default. So Benny’s always tired and grumbly in the mornings while Balthazar’s carrying on as usual so Benny will just catch him by the waist as he’s walking by to pull him into a hug and rest his chin on his angel’s shoulder because he’s still tired and just wants snuggles

diaryofageekgirl And Bal tries to keep doing whatever he was doing before and Benny just reaches out behind him and forces him to set whatever it is down and physically puts Bal's arms around him 🥰

i-miss-balthazar Midnight sailing date 🥰

diaryofageekgirl Midnight sailing date out over bioluminescent algae bloom: https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/11.jpg

i-miss-balthazar It kinda looks like angel grace if you squint

diaryofageekgirl That's exactly what I thought! (Benny def brings them there bc it makes him think of Balthazar's grace)

i-miss-balthazar Since Balthazar’s an angel and doesn’t technically need his blood do you think Benny could use him as a food source so he wouldn’t have to worry about robbing blood banks/eating people

diaryofageekgirl yessssssss that's exactly what I think!!! And Benny's unsure about it at first, kinda scared to bite him bc he's so used to his bite killing or turning people but Bal convinces him and it's so much better than blood bags

i-miss-balthazar Plot twist Balthazar’s blood alcohol content gets Benny drunk😂

diaryofageekgirl there's a blood of Christ joke in there somewhere but I can't think of it 🤔

i-miss-balthazar And the wine is my blood -last supper or something I haven’t been to church in awhile 😂

diaryofageekgirl Do you think he'd ever get a bit of grace along with the blood?

i-miss-balthazar In theory, I could see it happening. what would that taste/feel like I wonder

diaryofageekgirl I imagine it would be a moment of absolute euphoria

i-miss-balthazar Benny’s grip on Balthazar would tighten sharply, and Balthazar would let out a soft gasp of surprise and delight at the sudden possessiveness because secretly he loves it when Benny gets like that

diaryofageekgirl 😍😍😍 And Benny gets all blushy and apologetic about it later and Balthazar is just like "Don't you dare apologize for that. In fact, do it more often."

i-miss-balthazar My goodness I need more Benny/Balthazar content they’re just so perfect and I love them

diaryofageekgirl You could always write some 👀👀👀 Be the change you want to see in the world 👀👀👀

i-miss-balthazar Mmm soft movie nights where they’re bundled in a soft blanket and Balthazar’s in Benny’s lap so Benny can idly play with his hair while they watch the show. Neither of them particularly care about the movies they just like the cuddles

diaryofageekgirl (If you did I would be so down to read it)

i-miss-balthazar I might have to. However I promised myself I’d finish writing the next chapter in my main wip before I started another project so I may need some time.

diaryofageekgirl that's fair. Let me know if you do end up writing something for them

i-miss-balthazar Absolutely!!!!

#kat chats #spn #benny lafitte #balthazar #benthazar #come.......join us in rarepair hell

[imtryingmyfuckingbe]

And If This Is It

First chapter in a short series.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Mentions: Jess, Sam, Charlie, Cas, Gabriel, Jo, Jules (OC)

Trigger warnings: N/A at the moment

I am the sole author and reserve the rights to my work. However, I am not the owner of Supernatural as a franchise, or the characters including, but not limited to: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Gabriel, Jo, Jess, or Charlie.

CHAPTER ONE:

She pats her apron for a pen. The usual seven pens clipped to her pocket dwindled over the course of her shift as co-workers begged her to borrow one. Today seemed to be the day every server and their mother forgot to come to work prepared. The deep recesses of her smock yielded a stale fry, coins, and lint; no pen. 

Exasperated, Y/N scans the crowded dining room for another waiter. Jules leans against a server stand, reviewing something in his check holder. She makes a beeline towards him, navigating pushed out chairs and close tables. Pieces of conversation flit around the restaurant, creating the cacophony of guests chattering. Sometimes she fights to hear herself think over the endless conversations and clinking of glasses.

One of these days, she would enter this restaurant for the last time. Today is not that day.

Finally at Jules, she reaches for the pen readily presented. He knows her better than most of her co-workers, practically able to read her mind. He and Charlie are the only two she enjoys meeting off-shift. Mumbling a thanks, she weaves her way toward her section and the awaiting guests.

“Have a good night!” Y/N states quickly, the farewell always on the tip of her tongue. Not awaiting a response, she moves to her next table for their drink order.

While speaking to her new guests, a familiar shadow appears in her peripheral a few feet away. She continues with her spiel, on autopilot while recommending drinks and relaying dinner specials. A seasoned server, Y/N easily feigns interest despite her mind focusing on the silhouette by the bar.

Finished retrieving their orders, she tucks her server book into her apron and turns around. Dean leans against the bar, elbows perched on its surface. Y/N holds a finger up so he knows to wait. She rings in the beverages, then returns to Dean, a drink now in his hand. “What’s up, big guy?”  

“Just thought I’d come see my favorite girl,” he purrs, voice sweet but rough. It’s her favorite sound, always sending shivers up and down her spine.

“Well, your favorite girl is fucking slammed. Have a seat. I’ll be by when I can.” She pats his shoulder as she squeezes past him and into the kitchen.

Finished tickets litter the window, along with the respective dishes. Y/N hurriedly piles three plates on one arm, the fourth in her other hand. Aside from the cash flow, the service industry offers better balance and dexterity. For those two reasons, among a total of four, she continues working as a waitress. 

Unfortunately, her job has more banes than boons, including the relentless need to keep moving. After dropping the food off at table 311, she rushes to the bar for her table’s drinks. Then she busses a table, greets another family, cashes out a different one, and, fuck, she forgot to grab the ranch for 504. 

By the time things calm down enough to breathe, Dean nurses drink number three, his only company an empty plate from his finished meal. Y/N sidles into the small space next to him, resting her arm on the back of his chair. He shoots her a blinding smile, and for a moment she revels in the break from the hectic dining room. 

“Having fun?” His voice fights to overcome the rest.

She laughs. “Yeah, I just love the blisters forming on my heels.”

“Get new shoes, dude. You’ve worn those guys down to the soles.”

“Yeah, you try finding affordable and comfortable non-slips. Keep me posted.” She winks. “Oh shit! I didn’t tell you about the fucker at my table.” Dean leans back in his seat and crosses his arms, readying himself for her story. “So, from the start this table is a pain in the ass, right? Well, he orders one of our cheaper burgers. I checked on him a few times before dropping the bill, and when I go back to get their payment, he tells me he didn’t like his burger and wanted it taken off of his check!” 

Dean laughs. She enjoyed telling him her stupid work stories, if only to see his head throw back and eyes glint with amusement. 

“Yeah? What’d you do?”

Y/N leans in a little closer, stage whispering. “I looked him straight in the eyes and told him he should’ve told me before he ate it all, and that he was still going to pay for it.” Another deep chuckle. She pulls back. “Yeah, he wasn’t that happy,” she concludes with a shrug.

“But he paid for it?”

“You know it. Okay, be right back.” 

Another round of drinks; ordered and delivered appetizers; two more checks; and, finally, Y/N’s section empties out. Only two newer tables relax as she starts cleaning up. The end of the day is always her favorite, not simply for the fact of getting to go home and put up her aching feet. 

As guests mosey out and the lobby remains empty, the glow of the restaurant calms her adrenaline. Low lighting and low conversations lend a more intimate atmosphere that washes over Y/N. Not for the first time, she wishes she could live in this feeling. Everything will sort itself out and the world will embrace the afterglow of a bustling dining room as it lulls to a close. Her final tables cash out and leave their booths, bidding her a good night.

Only two men occupy the bar now: Dean and a lonesome straggler. As fellow servers finish their shifts and part ways, more of the floor, both bar and dining, comes under Y/N’s supervision. As a closer, she stays until last call and ensures the restaurant can open smoothly the next day.

Less than an hour, she reminds herself.

She makes her way to the stranger at the bar. Four empty short glasses scatter the counter before him, the fifth cradled in his fingertips. His head hangs over the whiskey, ignoring the game on the television above him. 

Trying not to bother, she gently reaches across him to gather his empty cups. Upon securing the four in her hands, he looks up. His eyes bore into hers, greasy and shaggy hair slightly obscuring his view. With his free hand, he moves the strands. Sweat lines his brows and his cheeks flush with redness.

She knows that look. It is of a man who has had one too many; a man who does not know when to stop. Y/N looks away. The shallowness of his gaze unsettles her. It’s as if he doesn’t truly see her. She steps back from him, shifting the glasses into a better tower.

“All done?” Y/N asks sweetly.

“Think you could share a drink with me, beautiful?”

“‘Fraid not, mister. On the job, you know,” she motions to her uniform, as if it is the only reason she will not sit next to him tonight.

“When are you off?” 

The persistence wears her patience thin. Her bones will her to turn away, but as a server she knows she cannot. Customer service comes first and foremost, especially in an industry where guests believe they know best. “Not for awhile. Would you like me to close your tab?”

He shakes his head. “Another one. I can wait.”

Anxiety reaches into her chest and squeezes its talon fingers. “We’re closing soon, sir. Unfortunately, we stop serving alcohol fifteen minutes prior to locking the doors,” she fibs easily. They don’t close for at least another thirty minutes, and drinks continue until then as well. But the tightness in her chest refuses to release; she wants him gone.

His unrelenting, beady stare stays centered on her face as he sips his whiskey. “I can wait,” he repeats slowly.

She takes a calculated breath, forcing the frustration from expressing itself. “I have to get back to my job,” she curtly replies. 

Without waiting for an answer, she backs away. It is not far enough and not fast enough, as his hand latches onto her free wrist. Y/N looks behind the bar, begging the bartender to return. It’s not that she can’t handle a drunkard, she can; it’s that she doesn’t want to lose her job. If need be, she would most certainly utilize the tower of glasses in her grasp. 

A barstool scratches against the wood floor, drawing the man’s attention for a moment. She yanks her wrist from his grip, pulling it tight to her chest. “Pay your tab, and leave.”

He barely glances at her as he withdraws his wallet, head hung low once more. Tossing a few bills onto the counter next to his remaining glass, he delivers one last withering glance. “Coulda had a good night, honey.” He stalks off to the lobby and out of the front door. 

Her shoulders sag as she releases her breath. 

Finally turning around to finish her duties, she finds Dean standing in front of her, almost chest to chest. His eyebrows crease together, and his lips form a thin line. “I’m okay, Dean. I’m almost done. Just have to close out a few checks.” Silence engulfs the pair, Dean still gauging Y/N’s true feelings. She sighs. “Really. It’s par for the course. I’m good.”

He nods slowly, and she knows he doesn’t believe her. “Movie night?” Dean changes the subject.

“Yeah. Let me finish up.”

She returns to her path to the kitchen, stowing the glasses in the rack by the dishwasher. At the sink by the door into the dining room, she washes her hands, taking extra care to scrub her wrist raw. 

In the thirty minutes left before close, Y/N stacks the chairs on the tables, takes the pitchers of water to the back, and completes general cleaning. The closing manager signs her off, and she is free to go. 

Dean leans against the driver’s side of her Mustang, flashing his winning grin when he sees her. The crinkle of his eyes halts Y/N’s breath. She pushes down the hammering of her heart until it reaches her stomach, and then her feet and out into the world. He reserves this smile for a select few; she sends thanks up to the Universe that she is one of them. 

“M’lady,” he says with a sweeping gesture to her door.

She laughs, unlocking it. “Why, thank you, good sir!” Y/N opens her door, tossing her apron and purse haphazardly in the passenger seat. “So where are we meeting? It’s Sammy’s turn, right?”

“Affirmative. Most of the crew is already there. Just missing us two.”

“Sounds good. I need a fucking drink.”

Dean nods, “You and me, both.”

She slides into the driving seat and turns on her car, raising her eyebrows and squinting at him. “You had, what? Four drinks? Yeah, you had four drinks here.”

“Yeah, then I ate my weight in a burger and onion rings. I can handle another glass.”

“Or two,” they say in unison. She rolls her eyes. 

“Right, well we best get going. It’s already late. They’re probably done with the film.”

“Nah, I told them to wait a bit. Plus, Charlie just got there. She didn’t leave too much before you.”

Dean closes her door, then points his finger towards the pavement, telling her to roll her window down. She complies, and he rests his folded arms on the edge. His eyes search her face, as if caressing her cheek and lips in his mind. “What?” she whispers as Bob Dylan plays through her radio.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers back.

She rolls her eyes again, this time to keep the blush in her heart from reaching her face. “All right, casanova. Let’s go.”

He winks at her before making his way to his car. She follows him to Sam’s apartment, paying poor attention to the road. He’s a flirt, she knows, but when he says stupid things like that she wonders. From the start of their friendship, Y/N knew she would fall hard for Dean. The confidence in his walk, the way he says her name. And those eyes. Those godforsaken eyes.

Out of respect for their relationship, however, she refuses to say anything about her feelings. Any time she gets close to blurting out “I love you!” her mind screams back “What if! What if! What if!”. And that was more than enough to make her mouth shut and her feelings recede into their marked lock box at the back of her thoughts. 

Dean pulls into the complex first, choosing a spot with another empty one to his left. When she parks next to him, Dean already stands at her door. He pulls it open, waiting for her to grab her purse. Laughter escapes from the windows of the apartment above and down to the couple. Warmth spreads throughout Y/N’s body; her crew of friends reminds her of cinnamon and late Sunday mornings. They are home.

Together, the two climb the three levels to Sam’s apartment. The unlocked door opens to reveal Sam and Gabriel in an arm wrestling match, the rest of the company cheering for either side. Upon seeing Y/N and Dean enter the room, the shouts turn to welcomes. Jo comes to meet Y/N for a hug, however she holds up her hand.

“I need a deep cleansing shower before I hug you,” Y/N warns.

“Long night?”

“You could say that. I’ll be back, guys.”

Y/N heads towards the back of the apartment for Sam’s main shower. The guest bathroom, however nice, did not possess the same water pressure or showerhead functions. Digging through her purse, she secures a clean pair of shorts and socks, but no shirt. Fuck. She just wishes to get clean and put on comfortable clothing. Her day, all things considered, hadn’t been the worst. However, the end of the night lingers on her tongue like cheap tequila: sharp and unpleasant. 

Sighing in defeat, she heads back to the living room. Dean seemingly took over for Gabriel in the challenge, his hand clasped in Sam’s. The veins in his arm pop from beneath his tightened skin and his nose scrunches in concentration. Y/N leans against the wall, enjoying the show. 

As much as Dean wants to be the big man in his brotherhood, Sam gives him a run for his money. Even still, Y/N knows Dean will win. He’d rather break his wrist than forfeit any dare. With a triumphant bang, Dean slams Sam’s hand onto the dining table.

The surrounding crowd cheers and boos, respectively. Y/N smiles. 

Taking the reprieve in the boys’ games, she walks up behind Dean and places her hands on his shoulders. “Good job!” His eyes shine when they meet hers, the brightest green she’d ever seen. Forest, stone, the sea; nothing could compete with those eyes. His toothy grin returns her to the present, where her palms burn into the thin fabric of his shirt. Addressing the room, she asks, “Does anyone have a shirt or something I can borrow? I forgot to pack one.”

Before anyone can answer, Dean picks his sweatshirt up from beside him and passes it to her. She smiles thankfully, patting his shoulder, and returns to the master bath.

Y/N takes her time, reveling in the beat of the pressure against her back and shoulders. The tension held at the nape of her neck melts away with the tea tree body wash, down the drain, and far, far away. The eucalyptus hanging from the shower head cools her anger from the night, and that daring man. 

Of all the things she became accustomed to as a waitress, someone putting their hands on her was not one. A guest angry over a stupid mistake; a spilled cocktail; shitty coworkers. She can handle it all with ease. However, the gall of someone touching her? It kicked her into high gear, and she had no fight or flight instinct. She will always choose to fight, job security be damned.

She steps from the shower, glad Sam and Jess know how to choose their towels. Dean’s sweatshirt covers her hands and falls to her midthigh. When she requested a top from the group, she hoped Dean would offer. His cologne lingers on the collar of the hoodie, mixing with Y/N’s shampoo and conditioner. She breathes it in until it fills her lungs and takes over her common sense. If Dean were here now, she knows she would grab him by his neck and lay a kiss to his lips. 

And his cheek.

And his neck.

And anywhere else she could reach.

Although grateful he isn’t here, she wishes he were.

Finally clean and comfortable, Y/N returns to the living room. The blue screen illuminates the room, dancing across her friends’ faces. Charlie, Jo, Gabe, and Cas take up the large couch, Jess and Sam cuddle on the loveseat, and Dean sits on the double wide recliner. Without a second thought, she joins him. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling the blanket over her bare legs. 

Sam’s choice movie of the night, Cabin in the Woods, blares over the surround-sound speakers. Y/N rests her head against Dean’s shoulder, and he pulls her closer. For a moment, it feels like the emptying dining room. Dim christmas lights shine from the ceiling. Dean’s chest rises and falls with each breath. For a moment, her world has sorted itself out, and she exists in the afterglow of a finished day.

#friends to lovers #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x reader #au #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural au #supernatural fic #and if this is it

[grimmradiance]

The dreamers? 👀

Okay so here’s hoping there isn’t a secret character limit on ask responses because Hoo Boy, I Have Lost Control Of This Ask.

Monomon

A. realistic

Monomon is super hyperempathetic--that’s part of the reason the Foggy Canyon is the way it is.  She’s surrounded by other creatures that prefer to simply exist, who are fine with being left alone, but also don’t mind if she or that odd heavy bug she adopted gives them a little pat on the way past.  That’s also the reason Quirrel is so good with a nail--Monomon could channel the powers of lightning and/or explosions that other jelly creatures seem to have, but emotionally? imagine the toll.

B. not realistic but hilarious

She has NO sense of scale whatsoever. None.  Most bugs in Hallownest measure things against their height, since a bug’s shell is rigid and generally about the same length all the time, but since Monomon is 70% jelly by volume, she tends to measure herself like a cat or a mouse would, by the amount of space she needs to fit into places.  This makes Quirrel’s life...unusual, to say the least.  She gets stuck places sometimes.

C. heart-wrenching

If she’s hyperempathetic, imagine how she fucking feels about Quirrel and the Hollow Knight. I can’t even go off on a three paragraph rant on this one it just makes me HURT.  Quirrel being sent to the Howling Cliffs for No Thoughts Crystalline Memories Empty treatment was probably her best attempt at mercy.  God. I’m never gonna be over these sad fucking bugs.

D. it’s my canon and I choose what parts of it matter

Monomon is a very, very clever conversationalist.  She knows how to talk in just such a way that you feel like you’re being heard and understood, until you suddenly realized you’ve said something aloud you really shouldn’t, and Monomon says “don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”

And then, of course, she tells Quirrel, because what is knowledge for if not to be shared?  The two of them could totally take down the structure of the White Palace if they were on the same page about how to go about it.

Herrah

A. realistic

This is more about Deepnest in general, but the Weavers prefer to be left to their own devices, and leave other groups of insects to theirs. I mean, look at the Weaverlings from the Weaver’s Song charm.  They’re the only companion charm that doesn’t actively target enemy bugs, they just sort of...wibble around.  And they’re a relic of the Weavers as they moved towards the heart of Deepnest.  The dangerous, heavily-trapped and hypervigilant Deepnest we see is a product of outside interference, presumably the Pale King being salty that the Weavers didn’t accept his rule.

B. not realistic but hilarious

Herrah didn’t just teach Hornet to be a persnickety little anarchist terror in the White Palace, oh no.  She tried to teach Quirrel to be a feral little gremlin too.  I mean, most of it didn’t stick, but she tried.

C. heart-wrenching

You know that one Tumblr post that’s basically “sorry, all the nice queers are gone, you killed them, so now it’s just us pissed-off cockroach motherfuckers left”?  That’s what happened to Deepnest.  What kind of peaceful or uninvolved society would need anything fucking like the Midwife or the Devouts? Well, they’re perfectly good to have around if peace is no longer an option.  Every once in a while I just lose it thinking about all the culture the Weavers probably had preserved through their tapestries, and how much of it must have gotten destroyed along the way.

Also bonus round for Sad And/Or Horrifying Implications regarding Hornet: most spiders lay hundreds or thousands of eggs at a time.  I don’t have the time to even START unpacking Hornet’s distinct lack of siblings (as in specifically not half-siblings).

D. it’s my canon and I choose what parts of it matter

slaps my little hands on the table.  Even as everything was going to shit, Vespa and Herrah were still good friends, and sent letters to each other over the Stagways.  She got to know a number of Vespa’s subjects very well, including the Hive Knight. Silksong better give us more lore on them.

Lurien

A. realistic

The Pale King loved having Lurien around because Lurien was half of TPK’s charisma.  TPK very much seems the type to get wound up in his own thoughts and image, constantly micromanaging it to get the best response from specific people. (Unrelated, but I think only the Hollow Knight knows what TPK is really like, since if TPK really did believe Hollow had no mind and no voice, why would he bother? People make that exact assumption all the time with disabled people anyways, I am sick of my peers realizing I have a disability and changing the way they act around me send tweet  This is a whole other post, maybe I’ll write it another time.)  So who better is there to have around than someone whose hobby and greatest skill is watching a situation and analyzing it?  Once the Dreamers were sealed, TPK’s public image was fucked, no doubt about it.

B. not realistic but hilarious

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned Autistic Lurien before but he is in my head, so branching off of my own experiences: this guy is the KING of Relatable Lapses Of Insight.  This man has drunk paint water before on accident.  This man has tried to sit on a stack of tablets and knocked himself over.  This man will spend three minutes explaining how light reflection works to try and convey the word he’s forgetting. (The word he’s forgetting is “mirror.”)  I care him so much.

C. heart-wrenching

I cannot overexaggerate how fucking brilliant of a meta-narrative choice the existence of Lurien’s butler is. I *cannot.*  I am perpetually in awe of how good Hollow Knight is with environmental storytelling, and how much material it leaves for people who love to dig way too far into things. 

Why do I bring this up here?  Lurien’s butler is a parallel to Hornet and Quirrel, who are, to Herrah and Monomon, their only concrete link to the present that isn’t at least partially painted over in the Pale King’s propaganda.  And he’s been Light-ridden for gods only know how long.  The popular fanon about Lurien having it bad for the Pale King always gets me thinking about this, because we have Lurien’s journal as our only source on him. A scarce few lines: his sleep is in service to King and kingdom.

I can’t help but wonder if Lurien chose those words especially deliberately, knowing they would be his last. “Though my gaze falls no longer on this city, I will act forever in its protection,” in a journal carefully hidden in a private building of the City of Tears.  Why hide something like that with so much care, unless there was something to be gleaned from it?  Well, whatever information we need to know about Lurien to contextualize anything outside of context clues and the King’s image of him would have been with someone who was loyal and trustworthy enough to watch over him. Someone who was loyal and trustworthy enough that that would be all that remained in their mind, even under the Light’s influence.

Basically, what I’m getting at here: I know for a fact there is something we don’t know about Lurien, and whatever that secret is, it died with his butler.

D. it’s my canon and I choose what parts of it matter

Lurien travels!  He is very good at making up academic or political excuses for it, but we all know why he’s really leaving the city: to paint.  He isn’t quite as skilled with natural features as the regular shapes you see in a city, but he enjoys himself so that’s what matters.

[queenitn]

So...I just found something that I'd written one night at like 4am a month into lockdown.

It's pretty much a very unnecessarily angry rant.

I can probably contradict half the stuff I say in it myself. It's just...kinda rude in places and when I'm thinking straight there's some parts I don't really agree with myself. It's not aimed at anybody and I'm definitely a hypocrite but I'm gonna post it anyways so go wild I guess.

So I recently took a stroll through Stucky fanfiction on ao3. For a while there I'd been avoiding it, and I'd nearly convinced myself that my mind was exaggerating the whole bottom!Bucky/top!Steve thing but yeah, I'm not.

Normally, I'd say who tops or bottoms doesn't matter. It's pretty irrelevant. But... since the majority of the fanfictions clearly prefer to write bottom!Bucky, obviously, there is some significance. Wouldn't the proportion be more equal if it truly was irrelevant?

Besides being annoying as fuck, it's also pretty interesting I guess. I have nothing else to do so I'm going to be ranting about a lot of stuff.

So, I mostly try to look for bottom!Steve, right? Because that's what I like. I read a bottom!Steve fic, then I say, "Hmm, this author seems to like bottom!Steve, maybe they've written more?" I go check, and I find...mostly bottom!Bucky, with maybe one or two more bottom!Steve.

It's fine the first few times, but after a while it's honestly weird. Clearly, a lot of very good authors have no problem writing bottom!Steve. They just happen to write more bottom!Bucky. As far as I can tell, that's pretty much the common trend. But why? What exactly does one think while starting a new fic, going all, "Hmm...I think...this time.... we're gonna have bottom!Bucky again." Again and again and again until it's most times.

Why is bottom!Steve so fetishized? I don't mean the fics that actually have a dom/sub element. I mean just pure bottom!Steve itself. Why does it have to be some sort of rarity?

As far as I know, there's...really nothing in canon indicating who would likely top or bottom. (I mean yeah, I do believe that canon Bucky is more likely to want to dom than canon Steve, but that's different.)

So, what is it?

Sure, Steve is taller, has a deeper voice, more muscle, a beard....but those are just physical things. They don't actually have anything to do with taking or giving.

Besides, he used to be small before. Is that what this is about? Previously tiny man likes to be in control? Likes to...what? Prove he's a manlier man? Bullshit. Besides the fact that it's bullshit, it also doesn't seem to fit with canon Steve.

The "Sometimes I think you like getting punched" and the "And you've got nothing to prove" make me think that his proving himself had less to do with showing his dominance and more to do with showing his endurance. I'd say bottoming is exactly what he'd want to do.

Besides, wasn't that exactly what made his relationship with Bucky special? The fact that he didn't have to "prove himself" in any way? Bucky already knew his worth.

Is it because Steve likes to give orders? Some sort of "Oh, this guy was always meant to be the leader"? Well, there's a huge difference between being a leader, giving orders in a battlefield...and giving orders in the bedroom. And I'm pretty sure top/bottom preferences would be completely unrelated to who's the boss at work.

But nevermind that, as far as I can tell, sure Steve gives orders, but he also looks to the people he trusts for guidance. The best example is Nat. The thing that makes their friendship so goddamm precious is partly in the way he always glances at her for confirmation before making a decision. Isn't Bucky sort of like an Ultimate Nat with sex benefits?

Nevermind that too. Steve bossing people around is great, but that's not the point, is it? The point is does he enjoy it? I think, the only movie where he did look like he relished his power was TFA. I'm pretty confident that's because of the novelty of his new strength partially, and partially also because of the rush caused by his back to back successes. Why? Because he never seems to take that kind of enjoyment again. As opposed to...maybe Sam? The guy who gets his literal wings back after (presumably) years and lets out a whoop after being chased by the missile thingies. Sam's joy doesn't wear off. Steve's does.

Is it just me, or has this skew towards bottom!Bucky actually increased over the years? Why? I can say a few things on this.

First, maybe people need to remember a bit more that Sebastian Stan is not Bucky Barnes. Chris Evans is not Steve Rogers. And Steve Rogers is not Captain America.

No matter what you think about the actors, the characters they play are separate. Please.

Second, there is a very interesting theory that exists which says that the reason why Bucky is so popular in the fandom is because his character arc is relatable to women and the queer community in the fact that it's about him regaining his stolen agency. Which is true.

Does this have anything to do with him bottoming though? I mean, I don't know. Fanfictions are important because they allow us to explore ourselves, whether it's our sexuality or our trauma that we're trying to figure out. In that way, it makes sense that maybe we will tend to write Bucky as a bottom more often. Except no.

Partly because, having had bad experiences at a young age myself, and being queer myself, I do not relate to Bucky. And hypothetically speaking, I would totally bottom for Peggy or Bucky, but I would rail the absolute shit out of Steve. I canNOT be the only one.

Partly also because yeah, a lot of fanfiction is projection, which is good for the soul, both yours and mine, but not to the point where we create a fanon version of the character completely different from the canon one. Yeah, you could say that canon doesn't really give us much of a character, but clearly they give us something and we have to build up on that right? It's true for both Bucky and Steve. Bucky barely has lines, but his actions speak enough. There's an absolutely breathtaking character waiting for you in canon if you really want to look. As for Steve, let me just say, sass and the tiniest little hints of PTSD do not make a whole character. Marvel fucked it up, but this goes for the fandom too (this is keeping in mind that Steve technically has three movies dedicated to him and Bucky doesn't)

Stop treating Steve like your personal punching bag, Stucky fandom.

It does happen, if we project our bad experiences on Bucky, Steve often naturally fills the role of the clueless/mildly asshole-ish love interest. Not too much of an asshole though, clearly you love him.

That's fine. Fanfiction is about self expression, but should we lose sight of the canon characters that we loved so much in the first place? And isn't fanfiction just as much about exploring those characters, as objectively as we possibly can?

Another thing related to that...why do we only have to identify with one character? I don't know how to put this, but there's a thing called halo effect and I think that's kind of what happens (I'm not a psychologist).

You see something in Bucky. And then you start to attribute more and more things to him that may or may not actually exist. Like yeah, he's fullfilling the traditional love interest role in Steve's movies, but that doesn't automatically mean he's a bottom. The two things are... actually entirely unrelated. They're only related in your mind. And similar to that, when we see one thing in a character that we identify with, we kind of want to see even more things in them we identify with, but it doesn't have to be like that. That's not how any person works, and it's not how any fully developed character works. You can relate to both the characters in different ways, no need to dump it all in one.

Ok, another thing, that I don't like to think about but it's occured to me and I don't like it. So, Steve is generally coded as a bisexual, right? And Bucky is coded as gay. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and think about whether you're unconsciously assuming that the bi guy isn't going to want to bottom. I'm a bisexual woman, I will top Steve. I kind of resent this.

Going off on another tangent, I have also delved into Stony on my quest for bottom!Steve. Pretty sure there's even less of that there. Why??? That's crazy.

Normally, I'm pretty sure Tony would be coded as the top. He's much older, richer. He clearly has control issues. That's one of his defining features. Control. (I don't mean that in a bad way.) So....what exactly do Bucky and Tony have in common besides dark hair and short hight? The only thing I could come up with was thotiness. They're both shown as Thots. Is that it? The Thot Bottoms? Ok.

Is it the whole energy thing? "Bucky has bottom energy"? Does he? Can you argue with me if I say that TFA Steve has bratty bottom energy? That TFA Bucky goes from service top energy to mean top energy? Pretty sure that's subjective. But what exactly are we seeing differently here? I'm honestly asking.

Bucky's character is ridiculously strong, stronger than Steve in some ways (besides probably physically). Specifically, it's because of his ability to not only survive, but heal. Can we acknowledge how crazy that is? He's just fucking buying plums, but that's still more than we've ever seen Steve do. You can say his trauma is greater, but it looks like his coping ability is greater too. So is that what this is? Steve doesn't cope. Instead he focuses on external things like being Cap, Hydra, Bucky. I wouldn't call that a healthy way of living...but it's romantic, right? Neglecting to take care of yourself? No, actually avoiding taking care of yourself by focusing entirely on another person? Is that it? We're romanticizing unhealthy behaviour?

Is it because you feel more for Bucky, wearing his hurt on his sleave, versus Steve who wears it hidden under his skin?

Am I allowed to believe that Steve's ultimate shield isn't the vibranium one, but Captain America himself?

That's just me getting off track and mildly pissy but the point stands. We like seeing Steve in control. He wears it well. He's good at it. But that's just not that relevant. You don't just boss poeple around in the bedroom because you're good at it, you have to want it too. Would he want it? Is a commanding voice really an indicator of a person's desire to command? Can we really say because he's usually the one giving orders (because that's his actual job), that he likes it too? Does he look like he especially likes it? No.

I've been around fandoms long enough to know that all fandoms always have a preference regarding who ultimately tops or bottoms. This isn't the first time it's bugged me, but it feels more this time because I just don't see it. And it makes me angry because it contradicts what I feel, are the best parts of the characters. No, Bucky bottoming isn't the contradiction..but all this that I wrote, the connotations of this kind of coding, the underlying thoughts.... some of it is just not nice, but some of it opposes the little things that humanize these characters. It wouldn't matter, except that it wouldn't have happened at all if it didn't matter.

It's not just what happens to them in canon that matters so much. It's also what they choose to do for themselves when they have the chance. It feels like they made their choices and half the fandom ignored it. "Nah man, you'll look better at the bottom. Look at that hair."

Because ultimately, that's what it feels like to me. A mixture of not thinking too much about it (though I know this post probably counts as overthinking), some wierd internalised heteronormativity, and I don't know what just kind of fucks with all of us. All I know is that I hate it. I hate it.

It's not the bottom!Bucky I hate, it's the underlying, unthinking assumptions. The way it's a foregone conclusion. It's not. I really just want to be able to read the goddamn fanfictions again without wanting to tear my skin off.

( You can help by giving reccs)

#steve rogers #captain america #bucky barnes #stucky

[werewolfscientist]

Total Word Count; 1171

Description; Wilson’s loneliness and lycanthropy have him confused sometimes. Some time after meeting up with survivors to form a group, a random sentence gives him clause for alarm. He’s not sure if it’s a good thing to focus on... Sometimes you need to ask a friend.

(Honestly I just love Wilson and Willow interacting as siblings, and they seem like two who would just hang out when they aren’t busy. Plus I tend to fixate on a select few characters.)

Under Cut For Those Who Don’t Like Ao3

At first Wilson thought it was just the lack of contact that made him so excited about the growing group of survivors. Finally, others he could talk to and relate to! Mostly. There were occasions such as when he and Woodie would argue on the moral status of birds, or he’d yell in frustration at Webber’s spider collection wandering in. Mostly, though, the group’s presence made him feel so much better. It never really bothered him until a passing comment from Miss.Wickerbottom started his questioning.

Everyone at the camp knew of the strange things about one another; such as Wendy’s not quite gone sister, Maxwell’s whispering book of dastardly magicks, both Woodie and Wilson’s supernatural statuses. It would be impossible to not notice Woodie’s snacking on twigs or Wilson’s mild stress induced transformations. Especially since he was so poor at managing his sanity, even though he’d been in the Constant the third longest after Maxwell and Charlie.

So naturally, he eventually heard comment on wolves from Miss.Wickerbottom. She was a blessing to talk to at times since she could provide a scientific mind to help him judge his theories and thoughts with less... Bias. It always was an issue he had and she wasn’t afraid to point it out; making him feel much like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar.

Regardless, they had been talking and he mentioned how he felt so much better in the presence of a group. Wickerbottom said, so casually that it wouldn’t normally be so world shattering, something along the lines of, ‘Canis Lupus are rather social pack creatures’. Wilson couldn’t actually remember word for word but it boiled down to that.

It was so brief that he hadn’t thought much about it at the time; but as the days passed it itched at his skull and wouldn’t let go, much like a flea. He couldn’t help but dwell on the past and the present. His thoughts compared himself before and now. Uncertainty slipped in deeply, along with worry strong enough that one day he popped a question balloon at random.

“Am I... Too clingy?” He asked Willow. His fingers fiddled with the hem of his waistcoat, claws plucking at the stitching that use to be so nice. She was certain to be honest enough, especially with how crass she could be at times.

She paused her lighting of a leaf for a moment before continuing, “What’dya mean?”

That was his cue to start pacing while fiddling, even if it wasn’t necessary, “I’m not sure... I was thinking. My lycanthropy makes me look weird, but what if it wasn’t just physical changes? Besides the strange cravings and weird throwing thing.”

Willow’s leaf was set ablaze at this point, and Wilson had already started a bit of a dent in the soft, mushy dirt. It rained not too long ago, and the dirt held the water as if it were long lost family. Wilson kept talking.

“I never liked people very much. Now seemingly suddenly I get upset when everyone leaves me completely alone. There’s weird habits I didn’t use to have. I don’t know how much of it’s from my time here in The Constant, or this curse!”

“Why’s it bother you so much?”

“Well— I, uh... Because that would be bad?”

“Would you really rather be the same as before though? I know I wouldn’t!” Willow’s finger fiddled with the thumb lighter wheel, making the characteristic ‘chhik’ noise.

“...Not really I suppose....” Wilson frowned. He thought back again and the frown deepened. “I might just be being paranoid again. The thought of not being myself scares me enough for it. What if I lose myself or something? Or, or what if I accidentally give it to someone else? I don’t think I could live with that...”

Everything was silent, other than the distant caw of a couple ravens watching them. Worry slipped through Wilson’s skin and soaked him from within.

It took a moment before he noticed Willow’s lighter had stopped making the flicking noise. His strange, pointed ear twitched and turned towards her before he looked over. The worry that he made her scared or upset was for naught. She was simply watching the flame with a look of consideration.

“Do you really think those would happen?” She finally spoke.

“Science says it could.”

“You’ve lasted this long, haven’t ya?” She gestured towards him, “Alone. Well, you aren’t anymore. But, that’s a good thing. What’s started your scare now?”

Wilson ran a hand through his hair a few times as he admitted, “...Miss.Wickerbottom said wolves are social creatures.”

“Really?” Willow’s voice was full of an incredulous tone that Wilson mistook for disbelief of the fact itself, instead of it being the reason.

“Yes. And, I didn’t think much of it at first but then I thought about it more. I thought about it for a long while.” He paused with a blink. Then he chuckled nervously and brushed his hair with a hand again, “Well, not that long actually; she told me that a couple days ago. But it feels like forever ago.”

“Wilson. People are social too.” Willow said, “I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere once. Plus everyone has been alone for who knows how many years.”

Wilson had not considered that at all. As much as he pretended he knew, he didn’t actually know that much about biology, much less people biology— what was it called? Humanology? He couldn’t remember. He was a chemist and a number lover at heart, more than anything. A weird deal giving strange knowledge didn’t help when the Knowledge was fickle, and more like occasional FunFacts™ than actual help. Such as vague ideas of books that were written after his time. He wondered if Lord of The Flies was as interesting as it sounded. It was fun to quote it a little either way. At least he knew more vocabulary words than before, that was always nice.

His wandering mind was brought back to reality by the small ‘awe’ Willow made when her fire finally burnt out. He checked his pockets before offering her one of his ‘favourite sticks’ as he liked to call the remaining sticks in his pocket. Collecting things was fun. She gladly accepted it to continue her burning. It was better than her burning a whole forest.

“Maybe I have overthought one small sentence.” He admitted when the stick left his hand, “I was really worried about something before I was worried about this. I can’t remember what it was, but I probably just shifted the anxiety to this instead.”

Willow gave a shrug in response, “I dunno.”

Neither did Wilson, but that was okay. At least he had people to share his worries to, and stop him from going overboard. Maybe he’ll remember what the original concern was later and think about it.

That night’s full moon was completely forgotten as the two changed the topic to something unrelated that both could agree on.

#[IC] #Don't Starve #Wilson Percival Higgsbury #willow don't starve #wilson don't starve #Wilson #Willow #Fanfiction #WerewolfScientist #[Stanford Writes]

[drawlfoy]

Faux Diplomacy p.1

pairing: draco x femilvermornymugglebornslytherin(a mouthful i know)!reader

request: no, i’ve just always wanted to write this

warnings: explicit language, mentions of drinking, and most importantly, the reader has a moment where she thinks of inducing vomiting (not for a disorder but for a reason totally unrelated). if you’re sensitive to that then i suggest maybe skipping the part where she describes the slytherin boy dormitories. also, drink “spiking” (not date rape drugs though, just veritaserum)

summary: ilvermorny exchange fic during 6th year. reader is sorted into slytherin along with nearly all of the other exchange students. they realize they may be there for another reason than just for diplomacy when they discover that all of them are muggleborn. slow burn for draco...you’re supposed to hate him in the beginning.

a/n: i drafted this in the very beginning of summer without the intent of showing it to anyone, so this is a pretty large step in my writing journey. feel free to share your thoughts and feedback in the replies, i’m always here to hear them! more requests are coming soon and i’ll try and whip out another original idea once i slough through the requests i have right now. also: the best friend and the reader are going to be very affectionate, and i apologize if that’s not your thing. it’s just how i interact with my friends and i like to insert my favorite people in my stories, even when it isn’t very smooth. also if you’re wondering why i have so many fics based in 6th year it’s because i always found that to be the hottest year for draco lmao

music recs: i listened to a lot of lorde when i wrote this for some reason. i couldn’t tell you why but i did lol

word count: 2,038

“This is ridiculous.”

“What?”

I turned around to look at my roommate and best friend, Bella, who was sitting sprawled out on my bed and repeated the sentiment.

“This is ridiculous. My application status is still ‘review’, and everyone else already got their acceptance letter. Do you think it means they’re trying to find a nice way to reject me?”

Bella rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“Jesus Christ Y/N, with your grades and qualifications, they’d be a fool to not let you go. I got in. Hell, even Peter got in!”

Her comment made me crack a smile. Peter was in our year, sure, but a whole idiot. He was probably the lowest ranked person in Y/I/H. His parents were super loaded, though.

“Plus,” Bella added, “Hogwarts doesn’t have much experience with muggle electronics. I hear they switched to electric acceptances for foreign matters for efficiency purposes since they were so sick of losing owls over the Atlantic. They’re a bunch of old geezers that might still be looking for the send button on your acceptance email.”

“Wait.” Y/N froze as she saw something pop up in her inbox from Hogwarts’ administration. “I think they sent me something.”

Suddenly, the hot August air was more stifling than ever. Y/N had an urge to get up and open her window, but she couldn’t leave her laptop. Her eyes were glued to the email.

“You gonna open it, or...” 

“YES! Fine, I’ll do it.” Y/N’s hand clicked on the email and hid her face. Bella’s hands began prying her fingers away from her face. 

“You’ve gotta see it, Y/N. You’ve gotta look!”

Y/N allowed her hands to drop, peering at the screen in front of her. 

No way. No way.

It took her a minute to actually comprehend the words “Congratulations!” on the screen, but once she did, her entire body began vibrating with electricity.

“Oh my GOD!”

“We’re going to Hogwarts together!” Bella shrieked, jumping off Y/N’s bed and grabbing her. The two girls clung to each other while Bella spun them in circles until they fell on the bed with dizziness.

After the Hogwarts acceptance letter, Ilvermorny reached out to the students as well to detail their departure. The 16 students selected--a rather odd number, Y/N thought--were to meet on the Ilvermorny grounds at 6am on September 1st. Dumbledore himself had prepared 4 portkeys for the students and expected them to teleport to Hogwarts using them.

As far as Y/N was concerned, this day couldn’t come soon enough. It was time for her to get away from the loudness of America.

♥♥♥♥ 

The first thing Y/N saw was a very old witch standing in front of her small group of peers. She was wearing a traditional witch hat, something no one ever did back in America.

“Welcome, students.” Y/N was taken aback by just how delicate her voice was. She always forgot how diverse accents were in Europe. “I am Professor McGonagall. We are so pleased to have you joining us for this school year.” 

The elegant old lady fiddled with her eyeglasses before she continued.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it appears as though there won’t be enough time to sort each and every one of you. We do have a rather large group of first years and would prefer to keep things moving along.” 

Everyone groaned in unison. Who did this lady think she was, taking away their chances at being sorted by the infamous Sorting Hat?

“Thankfully,” she continued, “The head of the Slytherin house, Professor Snape, was gracious enough to take all of you in. It appears as though there are exactly 16 open beds in their dorm, so it works famously. I expect you all to behave yourselves and represent your country well so that we’ll consider taking exchange students next year. We have no qualms with sending students home who don’t follow the rules.”

Everyone nodded, nervously glancing around the group. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if people were going to be sent home, or if that was simply an empty threat.

“Well, come along then!”

McGonagall ushered the nervous group of witches and wizards across the courtyard and into a giant dining hall, much larger than the one Ilvermorny boasted.

As the students entered, the soft chatter that had filled the room faded away as the Hogwarts students examined the newcomers. Whispers replaced the chatter once they saw a magical display above them unfurl an american flag.

So much for getting away from that obnoxious American stereotype Y/N thought bitterly. What’s next, magical reenactments of the Vietnam War?

“Students,” McGonagall called. “Sit at the Slytherin table.”

A long but well kept fingernail motioned to the long table on the right side, filled with students wearing green.

“Good thing green looks great on both of us!” Bella whispered into Y/N’s ear. She giggled. 

“Yellow and red wash me out. We got lucky.”

Unfortunately for the girls, everyone else had gotten to the table first, leaving only two open seats open. When they saw who was across from them, they began to understand why they were the least desirable seats.

One platinum haired boy and a dark haired girl occupied the seats, both wearing disgusted looks. 

“Hello, I’m-” Y/N’s timid attempt at an introduction was cut short when the dark haired girl cut in.

“We know why you’re here.”

“Excuse me?” Bella looked ready to kill.

“She said,” the blond boy met Y/N’s eyes, “We know why you’re here.”

“Uh...yeah, the weather’s great this time of year.” Y/N tried to push for a laugh, but clearly it wasn’t coming.

“No, you idiot.” The girl raised one eyebrow. “Do you not know?”

“Well, whatever you think you know wasn’t deemed important enough to mention to US, so fuck off,” Bella answered.

“Jesus, Bella, we can at least be nice,” Y/N interjected. “Can you tell us? We probably already know, but sti-”

“No.” The blond boy looked slightly amused at our curiosity. “You’re right. It’s so important that of course you would know. Pansy and I are just playing with you. That’s all you mudbloods are good for, anyways.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped. Blood purity discrimination? That shit was outlawed years ago in the US. If anyone even mentioned the term “muggleborn” in a less than positive light, they were blacklisted. 

“What did you just call us?”

“Perhaps you need to get your ears checked,” the girl shot back. “You heard him.”

Y/N sucked in a breath. She’d woken up at 5 for this. 

“So tell me, Pansy.” Y/N leaned over the table. “Was it an accident? Or were you just born with a pug face?”

The girl turned bright red but maintained her composure. 

“I’m sick of talking to you,” she finally said.

♥♥♥♥

“Oh, bitch, you got her!” Bella was cackling to Y/N in the privacy of her dorm room. “You were like, ‘do tell me’, and the second those words left your lips, I was like, oh no, here it comes...”

They both ugly laughed on the bed together until their sides hurt. 

“Blondie was kind of hot though,” Y/N admitted.

“Kind of. I guess, if you’re into racists.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not.” Y/N chucked a pillow at Bella/s head, just narrowly missing it and instead hitting her suitcase. 

A knock on their door sounded, stopping their shenanigans. Bella crept up to open it and saw Laurel, another girl from their year, with a few other kids.

“The Slytherins are throwing a welcome party for us in the common room,” Lucy informed them. “The nice ones are, at least.”

“There’s nice Slytherins?” Bella asked sarcastically. “Whatever. We’re in. Give us a minute to get dressed.”

Lucy nodded, shutting the door. Y/N could hear their footsteps walk away from their room.

The two rushed to get out of the sad looking sweats they were planning to sleep in, Y/N opting for a skirt and a short sleeved shirt. She’d always been a fan of old-fashioned plaid.

♥♥♥♥

Y/N did not get drunk. It was the unspoken rule between her and Bella: one of them drinks, the other one sips and plays the mom friend. Y/N was always the mom, something she didn’t mind that much, but at the welcome party, she indulged in two cups of firewhiskey. She held her liquor well anyways, and it wasn’t like anyone had to drive. 

A few hours had gone by when a Slytherin girl who introduced herself as Daphne Greengrass stood on a table and yelled, “Everyone, quiet!”

The music quieted a little and the chatter erased itself as the room waited on her words.

“In Slytherin tradition,” the Greengrass girl said, “We’re going to play a game of Truth or Dare. The Firewhiskey has been laced with Veritaserum, so if you’re choosing truth, beware! We’re playing around this table!”

With that, Daphne stepped down and all the Ilvermorny students stood frozen. Y/N couldn’t believe that the Slytherins spiked their drinks. She also couldn’t believe the fact that she accepted drinks from people she didn’t know, violating every bit of party safety rules her father had taught he. He’d be so disappointed.

Against her better judgement, Y/N allowed herself to be pulled to the table by a very intoxicated but very cheerful Bella. She managed a smile--she loved drunk Bella almost more than she loved normal Bella. She’d always heard that people became their true selves when they drank. If that was the case, Bella was the sunniest person to walk the earth.

Unfortunately for Y/N, she was sitting next to Daphne, who announced that the person to the right of her would spin the bottle to see who the question poser would be. That was Y/N.

She sighed, already deciding on asking for a dare. She wasn’t holding back any secrets, but she didn’t want to answer anything with a dumb or embarrassing detail of her life.Y/N spun the bottle, praying for it to land on Bella.

Nope.

When it stopped, she looked up to meet the eyes of the girl she insulted in the Dining Hall: Pansy.

“Well,” she drawled, a smirk forming on her face,”Truth? Or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Hm.”

Y/N could nearly see the gears in her head turning to find the cruelest dare she could. Finally, her eyes light up and her smirk deepened.

“You know who I don’t see here?” 

“Who?”

“Draco,” she responded. Y/N noticed Daphne grimace next to her. “Go wake him up and get him to come out. Of course, he probably won’t come out. But you have to at least make a valiant effort.”

“Ok.” Y/N gulped. “Where is he?”

“I’m going to assume his room.” The Slytherins surrounding her chuckled. “But if you want specifics: last door on the right of the boy’s dormitories. Zabini will let you in. You can go now.”

Y/N stumbled off with the boy she assumed was Zabini. He opened the door for her, whispering the password under his breath and looking almost sorry for her. “Good luck.”

♥♥♥♥

The dormitories were exponentially cooler than the common room, and Y/N felt herself shiver at the sensation of the air on her bare skin. The stone walls and flooring made her feel as though she was in a dungeon, something she found to be an interesting choice for a house with so many wealthy students.

Y/N slowly crept towards the furthest door on the right, pondering her options. She could, of course, just come back and lie, saying he didn’t answer. Then she remembered the Veritaserum in her drink. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could get herself to throw it up, but her logical mind struck that idea down. The alcohol was already absorbed and she would have to explain to everyone why there was a pool of bile outside the door she was tasked to knock on. 

There was something else that was nagging at her, though, a morbid curiosity regarding what someone like him could be bothering himself with on a Friday night. If he wasn’t partying, was he sleeping? 

It simply didn’t add up.

Y/N knew what she had to do. She raised her hand to knock on the door.

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x reader #harry potter #drarry #dramione #harry x reader #hogwarts #ilvermorny #lucius malfoy #narcissia malfoy #draco imagine #slowburn #Blaise Zabini #pansy parkinson #mcgonagall #dumbledore #fred weasley #george weasley #ron weasley #slytherin #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #voldemort #snape #slughorn #gryffindor #hagrid