#confiding in friends

[mental-health-advice]

Hi I hope you're well. Idk who else to talk to and I haven't actually gone to a therapist yet but I know I have some sort of social anxiety because it affects my daily life. I barely participate in discussions during my classes and when I do, I overthink what I'm going to say and end up going off topic, not like how I rehearsed it in my head. I start to hate myself after I talk in class because I hate the way I speak (I'm really really bad at thinking on the spot and mumble a lot so it makes me self conscious). Sometimes the prof tells me she can't hear me and it makes me even more anxious and I feel guilty because I'm not contributing to the class well, while my classmates can contribute freely, without any worries, and are able to articulate their ideas perfectly. I feel like it'll just be a downward spiral from here because I'm only continuing my studies because my parents have high expectations for me. They think I'm capable of getting a great job because of my education and my organization skills but I get anxious just thinking about it because I know for a fact that I'd never do well in a job interview no matter how much I practice (even if I practice it still wouldn't go how I planned). They think I'm their only hope because my two elder brothers didn't finish their studies, and one also has some mental health issues (he speak to a therapist on the phone for help). I on the other hand, I know I need to go to therapy but I don't think my parents think anything is wrong with me. Plus, I feel like I'd just be a burden on them because they're already struggling as it is (we're not really that well off) and I've seen how my family treats my brother as a burden as well for having mental health issues) so I don't think I'll ever get the help I want. I also feel like a burden on my close friends because some of them also have some mental health issues and so bringing up my own struggles will make it seem as though I'm disregarding theirs. It's just too much and it's gotten to the point where I have trouble sleeping because my brain doesn't stay quiet and I have too many thoughts running through my head :(

Hey there,

I too had struggles when I was at uni with actively participating in class discussions and sharing my own thoughts and ideas on topics that were brought up, so you are definitely not alone in that aspect.

I think when it comes to speaking up and contributing to class discussions, it’s more of a confidence thing and so the more you do it, the better and more comfortable you will feel in doing it. You did mention though that you try to talk in class but that you are never satisfied or happy in the way you talk/ feeling as though you don’t get your point across well enough despite practicing and rehearsing it in your head first. Firstly, I think it’s great that you are at least giving it a go and trying, you would be surprised at how many people will just sit back in the background and stay quiet.

I am wondering if before talking in class you can first write down points that you want to talk about and next to each point writing a bit about each. Doing this may help you to stay on point and remind yourself what you are trying to discuss and get out talking wise in your classes. Just an idea! Something else you could try is speaking to your professor and letting them know that you struggling with talking in class and that it makes you feel really self-conscious when they say they cannot hear you. You never know but they may also have some pointers on how you can talk more in classes! I’m sure that they have had past students who have struggled with the same or similar things as you when it comes to speaking in class.

I also want to quickly mentioned that it’s not really fair on your parents to put all this pressure on you for being the only one out of your siblings to get into uni and continue in your studies. I too can relate to this as my eldest sister wanted to be a paramedic but didn’t get the grades to go to uni to further in her studies and my brother chose a trade and so again didn’t go to uni but then somehow, shy me got accepted? Yes it’s super cool that you got in and get to study in your chosen fields but at the same time it has to be because you want to do this, not others wanting this for you but because you want it for yourself. And whilst it’s true that you may get a better job from going to uni, you can still get a decent job of your choice without a degree. My sister is a great example of this as she never made it to uni but now has a great job at an emergency services call centre where she is able to directly help others still (just not in the field). And me, well I had to drop out of uni due to my mental health impacting on my studies but I again am doing what I love even though it’s mostly volunteer based stuff. So for example I love both working with animals and helping others and offering them support where I can. I now volunteer for an animal rescue group with getting funding and am also a foster carer for cats/ kittens and to help me fulfill my desires to help others, I volunteer when I can here at MHA. I guess what I am trying to say is that getting a degree isn’t everything. You need to be happy and really want this, even if what you really want isn’t following your parent’s dreams for you.

And in regards to feeling as though you won’t be any good at job interviews, just try to focus on the here and now right now. We never know what the future may have in store for us so there is no point in worrying or stressing about all the what ifs when they haven’t even happened as yet!

I know it can be really hard in confiding in friends about your own struggles when you know they have their own stuff going on as well. It’s more than OK to let friends into your world though and they may even be able to offer you some advice and support themselves. You will not be disregarding their own mental health stuff, actually, one thing that I have found helpful in my own mental health recovery is that sometimes it can really help to help others or even just to listen to them when times are tough or just for things in general. It can help give the other person a break from their own struggles and head and that can be really helpful at times for both you and them! And if you are worried about saying too much to your friends about your own situation, then just let them know to tell you if it’s getting to be too much. It’s OK for them to say stop, just like it’s OK for you to tell them to stop if them talking to you is becoming too overwhelming.

It can be really tough when we know we need that extra help and support but feel as though by speaking up we will be a burden to others. And whilst I do not know your family’s personal situation there are ways that you can receive the help and support and at a low cost or for free. For example, you can always speak to a counsellor from either a helpline or on web counselling which is free, or you can check out your local community mental health services and see if they can help you and support you in any way or even just referring you on to someone else. There is hope out there and yes, your parents may not be accepting that you need help and support too, but even the most successful people need help and support sometimes!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #contributing in classes #speaking to professor #higher education #getting a job #job interviews #friends #confiding in friends #getting help

[onehundredwishesss]

Type of friends you need in your life

• Confident friends : These friends will not see you as a competition because they love themselves.

• Healing friends : They did their inner work which means they are self-aware, which motivates you to be self-aware of you too

• Intelligent friends : Friends that seek knowledge because knowledge means power. The more you learn, the better.

• Positive friends : Friends that wants the best for you and who will motivate and support you. Friends that gives you the right mindset

• Real friends : Friends that tell you that you did something wrong but in a gentle way. Friends that hold you accountable for your actions.

#onehundredwishesss speaks #law of attraction #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #self love #loa #self confidence #affirmations #advice #friends #friendship #it girl #level up #girlblogger

[selfhealingmoments]

#fake friends #fake people #toxic people #shadow work #be yourself #self reflection #self help #self improvement #self worth #know your worth #positive thoughts #self confidence #love yourself #mental health #letting go #inspirational quotes #new beginnings #positivity #new life

[winewithdann]

A gentle reminder.

#gentle reminder #healing #friend #confidant #mental health #mental wellness #life #hope #be kind to yourself #mental heath support #friends

[succulentsiren]

Women need to embrace not having friends and moving independently. Having no friends doesn’t mean you lack anything, if anything it means you are at an advantage because you are the sole focus of your life and you’re not looking for approval from anyone.

Sometimes you need to walk alone and be confident alone without looking for anyone’s validation or permission.

#succulentsiren #writers and poets #friends #independent #independence #divine feminine #feminine #femininity #introvert #affirmations #confidence #high mindset #level up #healthy mindset #healing

[stagefoureddiediaz]

This morning I woke up thinking about how Tommy checked in with Buck after he kissed him. The ‘was this ok’ is just so tender and uncertain. The underlying worry that he might’ve gone too far. It’s just so…

#yeah it’s everything #so perfectly placed #because Buck could’ve just been trying to get his attention because he wanted to be his friend and if that had been the case #Tommy would’ve put his friendship with Eddie at risk as well #so I love that little moment of uncertainty- Tommy might be more experienced and confident and settled in who he is #but he also took a risk and he wasn’t 100% confident it would pay off #and that has me up in my feels #911 abc #tommy kinard #evan 'buck' buckley #Kinkley #bucktommy

[forestofsprites]

eileen, my best friend eileen! you understand

[click for better quality + prints here!]

#you guys don't know how many versions of this i have in my gallery #it was a PROCESS #a whoooole process #i went at this so much differently than i usually do #which fucked w my confidence. and god knows that's slim pickings my friends #ANYWAY!!! WONDERFUL EILEEN<3 #i will be drawing eileen more. i have so many refs #i will get better!!!!! #eileen leahy #eileen leahy fanart #eileen leahy art #spn #supernatural #spn art #spn fanart #supernatural art #supernatural fanart #my art

[egophiliac]

Did peepaw come home?!

HE DID! :D! luckily it only took me three ten-pulls; I think my past experience of being so thoroughly denied a Fairy Gala Ortho made me more worried than I should have been. may the gacha blessings pay forward to everyone else! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

so far this is hands-down the funniest Lilia card, because he'll say something all edgy and badass in that deeper ~General Vanrouge~ tone and then follow it up immediately with one of the non-card-specific cutesy Lilia lines, and it gets me every time

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i rolled for him before doing the story and when i set him on my home screen #the VERY FIRST line he said was the one where he's like 'the promise i made to revaan...my friend who is no longer here...' and i was like #excusez moi #(i'm going with revaan for now because i have no idea what it's meant to be and when in doubt go literal) #(honestly same with baul. baul feels right but who am i to say) #(i feel pretty confident about henrik but i am prepared to be wildly wrong about everything as per usual :') #anyway now the question is: do i try for the white rabbit cards or save up for whoever the next episode 7 ssr is #on the one hand i have been living for the episode 7 content #on the other hand the white rabbit event looks SO cute #truly this is the most difficult dilemma of our times

[sualne]

talking around it, hurting around it.

(timeline)

#one piece #sir crocodile #dracule mihawk #crocodad au #my art #my comic #described in alt text #was supposed to be a funny comic before that one but yknow how it is. croc only wanted to have a friend but his walls are to tall and he #keeps everyone at a safe distance. mihawk isnt transphobic btw. he doesnt know if he's ever met anyone trans and so forgot about us. #i couldve made him trans too but i need croc to be the loneliest mf for this au. nobody to confide to.

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild #have fun playing toys with him #ultrakill #councilor #councilor ultrakill #3d stuff #obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on #so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks #(like obviously the wings & halo) #(but also the chestplate design) #but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces? #i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored #i had to add them #to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff- #i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result #but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!! #gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but #i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this #i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project #and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going #(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress) #this was like 1 entire month in the making #but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost #so thank you guys for liking it <3 #i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head #but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe

[eggwishing]

short & stout rose And awkward and gangly dave >>>> i think rose would move with a ferocity like she could accidwntally bump her elbow onto the corner of a table and the table would crumble . dave posture’d be so rigid that he’d fall like a tree and shatter like glass from a light breeze

#dave strider #rose lalonde #homestuck #im gonna yap more abt my drawings ive been restrained for too long thinking people wouldnt care😤😤 #my friends at school building up my confidence for better or for worse lol #i have thoughts!! things 2 say!!! not a lot but hopefully getting out the things i do have will make room for more…^_^ #anyways #daveis just egon schiele art to me now #discomfort of tha body ……. Davesprite would be even worse imo #this also means dirk is a short king. and roxy would tower over him LMAO #dirk the shortest in the entire group #i need to draw egbert n jade more😢😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨im sorryyyyyyyyyyy #hits post shyly

[bamsara]

So is the reason for Tyren getting more unhinged the side effects of the devotion necklace, or was this a downward spiral he would have gone done regardless of the necklace? I remember you talking about how the necklaces have consequences, and I'm curious if this is one of them.

Yeah!

Tyren would have been an already overly-doting and even jealous character on his own without the loyalty necklace, (and had been due to his crush on the Lamb even before recieving it, and what happens when you reject followers in-game) but his spiral into a unhealthy obsession and idolization was aided by the loyalty necklace.

If it was given to perhaps a regular, less devoted follower, the effects maybe wouldn't have had such severity. But Lamb got the materials/necklace from the mystic seller and isn't fully aware of the effects it might have on their followers yet.

So, dog is unhinged a bit on his own, but amplified by the necklace. He's originally friendly, caring and sweet. But you take good traits, too much of a good thing, and they can turn bad

#I want to talk about Tyren in stream again or go on a ramble #he's a character i want readers to like but also i dont want them to LIKE LIKE him #i want to write him in a way that makes you wonder if he did not go down this path he would actaully be someone you'd want to be friends wi #what ifs and what not #also in some reality there would people rooting for tyren in his corner because in his point of view #hes known the lamb for a long time and has been their friend and confidant #and has cared about them and even had a crush on them for quite a while #then suddenly this cat appears and everything feels wrong #dont get me wrong tyren is meant to be a good friend turned bad guy #but i was also never meant to get attatched to and develop the side characters as i have been doing slkdghsld #okay ive rambled enough #tyren oc #trod au

[shevr]

#outfit i'd wear to that next machinegirl show if i was cool ( and if was confident and had friends to go with ) #NOT 'if i had it' because wahaha. i do. might have been wearing earlier. might still be wearin some of it. nyohoho. #( took off the shoes bc theyre big old leather boots i received today & i don't wanna be stomping around i have downstairs neighbours ) #( heaviest shoes i ever owned ) #( they're also not super super comfortable for now jury's still out on whether thatll get better or not ) #i'll also haveto learn to draw it better i gotta drastically increase my skills at drawing sick kicks & fuckyou boots #shevr #my lines #anyway aah ahah not my best doodle lately #struggled a bit much with it for that result #still lackin the hhhaaabbit

[shima-draws]

Watching FMAB with my roommates and realizing that Greed TRULY IS the definition of mansplain, manipulate, manwhore AND manslaughter

#Manwhore especially tho. FOR sure. #Lanfan: Girlboss #Greedling: Malewife #He is THE character of all time. My poor little meow meow. My confidant. My best friend. My silly little rabbit #It IS true everyone! Greedling was one of the first characters I was ever down bad for!! #AND I STILL AM. He is gatekeeping gaslighting girlbossing out there and I would die for him #FMA #FMAB #Fullmetal Alchemist #Shima speaks #Greed #Greedling #Also remembering how much I fucking love GreedEd. GOD.

[donnyanne]

so i draw trash once a year JUST KIDDING APRIL FOOLSSSS

#hello i havent been on here in months but thats abt to change babeyyyy #(going to queue up three dozen posts bc ive been drawingggggg) #and i finally have the confidence to share againnnnn #(and i mean it this time bc ive been posting on twittterr all monttthhh) #my art #what do i tag this.... #g/t vore #mouthplay #safe vore #first one was a year ago for a friend (i was bullied) #second one is over a month ago for a friend (i was bullied)

[prettieinpink]

Improving as a person and a woman is work from the inside out, an important part is being a better friend - so how can I be a better friend?

This is a basic guide on how to be a better friend. The most important part of being a better friend is to communicate properly. Not all friendships are the same and will ask for the same things. Talk to your friends and figure out how you can be a better friend for them. Although, don’t drastically change yourself. 

BE CONSISTENT. Check up on your friends, ask them if they’re free, hype them up on their posts, and be consistent with it. You’re not friends with someone if you only talk to them twice a year, plus it makes people feel good when they think that you’ve been keeping them in their thoughts. 

AVOID JUDGEMENT. A big factor in a friendship, but it tends to be neglected in the moment. It is completely okay to question someone’s actions and give feedback sometimes, however, you have to know when judgment is not wanted or needed. Typically, avoid judging someone at all, consider their perspective. 

HONESTY. Be honest with your friends. If you do something that impacts them, tell them. If you happen to talk about them without their presence, tell them. Many people are much more forgiving if the person owns up to it. A friendship founded on lies, will not last. 

USE YOUR SKILLS TO HELP. If you excel in a certain area, ensure that you help those who struggle in that area. An example, teaching your friend how to code, or giving them advice starting in the gym. Moments of when someone willingly and happily helps you, are not easily forgotten. 

MEAN > GOOD. The heading is a bit odd, but to continue off my last point, it is much more easier to remember a small mean act, than a small good act. Likely, no one is going to remember if you held the door for them however, they will remember if you ever talked behind their back. So, think about your actions, and their effect on how people will perceive you. 

PRAISE YOUR FRIENDS. Start finding the joy in your friend’s successes. That same good energy from those successes will find you. If you curse or envy them, you will be bound to failure as you cannot share that energy. The small things like a compliment or a cute note on their locker increase that energy.

#becoming that girl #prettieinpink #ask #periwinckleblue #that girl #green juice girl #clean girl #friends #friendship #healthy relationships #relationships #relationship #self worth #self care #self confidence #self development #self growth #self healing #self improvement #self love #healing #healing journey #self awareness #gratitude #self reflection #self compassion #pink pilates girl #pinterest girl #it girl #just girlboss things