#but sometimes. someone comes into your life and you feel like you’re ready to risk it all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sttoru · 7 months

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⟣ tags. gojo satoru x female reader. fluff. happy family moment t_t

“she said whaaaat? no way!”

you were scrolling on your phone in the living room when you heard that familiar voice pierce through the comfortable silence — satoru’s voice, a bit more high pitched this time, almost like he couldn’t believe what he had heard.

your boyfriend was over at your parents’ place for the first time and seemed to get along just fine with your mother in the kitchen. you could hear their giggles and gasps every now and then whilst your body was resting on the couch.

their voices were getting louder by the minute, thus you decide to stand up and go check on them. you reach the doorstep and instantly smile at the heartwarming scene that greets you;

your mother chopping up some vegetables, chuckling whilst excitedly telling her recent gossips to satoru, who was leaning back against the kitchen counter next to her — his arms crossed and those pretty dimples of his apparent on his face as he carefully listens to your mother’s stories.

“seems like you two are getting along well already, eh?” you chuckle after observing them for a little while longer. your presence instantly make satoru smile even more (if that were even possible), his eyes glimmering at the sight of you;

“hey, baby!” the white-haired man walks over to you and hugs you tightly before letting go, though his hand remains at your waist. the grin on his face widens, “your mother has the most juiciest of gossips that i’ve ever heard around town, i’m telling ya — stuff’s got me absolutely hooked.”

your mother responds to that with a short giggle. she glances up from her cutting board and sends you a look — one that emits her approval of the lover you’ve chosen. it seems like satoru’s charming personality succeeded into mellowing even your parents’ hearts.

“heh, i do actually believe that.” you nod with your own cheeky grin. your mother was like a newspaper — you always hear all the recent stories and gossips from her.

it’s no wonder satoru instantly clicked with her; if it isn’t your mother you’re gossiping with, it would usually be that cheeky sorcerer instead. he’s a great listener after all, his reactions are priceless to you.

you move over to stand next to your mother and decide to help her out with cutting up the veggies. satoru starts to search the area in hopes to find an apron for himself, though was quickly interrupted by the gruff voice of your dad echoing through the house;

“satoru, c’mere, boy! help an old man out.”

you were a bit surprised that your dad was specifically asking for satoru to go help him (your mom as well; however she knowingly snickers afterwards).

you can’t remember the last time your father had directly asked help from someone he barely knew. sometimes he wouldn’t even ask your mother or you for help. that’s how stubborn your dad is.

or, was — satoru’s an exception, it seems like.

your boyfriend was also a bit stunned — though not in a bad way at all. the corners of his lips curl up in a fond smile, his blue eyes shining ever so brightly due to the feeling of being needed and accepted in this household. his beloved’s household.

it felt like he had achieved all he wanted in life — hell, satoru was ready to risk it all and ask for your hand in marriage right then and there; that’s how joyous and confident this moment made him.

“coming, sir!” satoru calls out. you could’ve sworn his voice cracked a tad bit, however you decide not to comment on it. your boyfriend turns around with the biggest grin on his face and quickly goes to stand between your mother and you.

one of his hands rests on your waist, the other on your mom’s shoulder as he places a sweet kiss to the crown of your head. a rush of warmth surged through his body as he saw you look up at him with those captivating and pretty eyes, making satoru feel even more content than he already was —

“i’ll be right back. if you ladies need a helping hand, just give me a holler.” satoru says and smoothly steals a kiss on your cheek before hurrying towards your father, whose voice sounded from the bathroom.

there was a spring in his step. a positive change in his already ethereal looks as you watch him disappear from the room. you shake your head and chuckle at satoru’s excitement. you knew exactly what he was feeling, because you felt the same once you realised just how fast your parents seemed to accept and approve of him;

relieved, comfortable and happy.

#boooo never write fics again anya #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru x reader #jjk fic #gojo fluff #jjk x you #gojo x you

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xiatarot · 2 months

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pick a pile: how do they feel about you?

< choose an image >

for entertainment purposes only.

take what resonates, leave what doesn't. ♡

your person sees you as someone that changed them for the better. communication with you for them has always been very introspective and your words and way of doing things always pushed them to become the best version of themselves. they see you as someone very kind and sweet, someone nurturing and full of love who likes to take care of the people in their life and make them happy. you make them feel very calm, i’m hearing ‘like coming back home after a long day at work’. they hold so much respect and admiration towards you. a lot of affection as well.

i’d be surprised if you and this person were in communication right now, because it seems like there’s distance between you two and a lot has been left unsaid. i don’t think this person has ever told you how they feel about you, i feel like they want to keep this hidden, so if they’re acting really distant and not communicating, that’s why.

they have a lot of anxiety towards this situation, because they want to come forward and open up their heart to you, but they might fear rejection or a situation that won’t go anywhere. i think that if they want to have something with you, they want it to be secure and long lasting. despite their fears, i do think they’re gonna come forward and very soon as well. they have a lot they want to say to you but as of now they’re still just daydreaming about it.

when they do come forward, they’re going to do it in a very lighthearted way, they might crack some jokes here and there or just act like they don’t care much, but they’ll be freaking out on the inside. they will want to test the waters first and then they might drop a bomb on you very unexpectedly, telling you how they truly feel. you might be caught off guard.

zodiac signs: taurus, leo, sagittarius

channeled song:

get your personal reading here: ♡

II.

your person definitely has romantic feelings for you, however i don’t think they’re ready to tell you that. you might be in the same friend group or have just known each other for a very long time, i’m hearing childhood friends. it seems like they’re scared to open up because they’re not really sure about how you feel and if they told you and you didn’t accept their feelings, things between you two would become awkward and they don’t want to lose the connection you two already have. if they want to come forward, they want to make sure that they’re not risking losing your friendship in the midst of it all.

they might’ve tried to open up to you in the past, maybe in a social setting, because i’m seeing them regretting not doing it and wondering how things would be now if they did. you’re really a dream come true to this person and inside of them they’re very determined to make your friendship more than just that but i think that when they see you all of their courage turns into weakness, and they let their insecurities and fears take over.

they might be putting a facade on, in order not to let you know how they truly feel, and that is hurting them deeply. they’re giving me a very frustrating energy.

you and this person could have had past lives together.

they might ask you indirect questions sometimes in order to understand if there’s a possibility of you reciprocating their feelings. i think the universe is kinda pushing them towards you so that you two can finally be together.

zodiac signs: aquarius, taurus, leo

channeled song:

get your personal reading here: ♡

III.

this person is fighting with their feelings right now. i feel like they do have strong romantic feelings for you but they’re just not ready to acknowledge them at the moment, so they’re trying to convince themselves that they don’t feel anything, but, big spoiler, they do, and it’s a lot. i feel a very very strong sexual energy, so if you were intimate with this person i feel like they just can’t get it out of their head. maybe they expected this to just be a physical thing, but it turned out they want more with you. this could be someone that’s not used to genuine romantic relationships and just prefers to keep things physical. could be a bit of a control freak too, and that’s why this situation is very frustrating for them.

they do want to open up and tell you about this but i feel like their ego is way too strong right now and they’re letting it lead them. they could be making up excuses as to why they can’t tell you about this or how things could go terribly wrong if they did. this person will have to figure out some stuff, do some shadow work and understand the reason why they act the way they do before they can commit to someone and have a healthy relationship.

they might be acting cold towards you and i wouldn’t be surprised if they ghosted you even. there’s a lot going on internally for them and i feel like you unconsciously triggered some stuff that they’ve been trying to suppress for a very long time.

as of now i don’t see them coming towards you in the near future because they need to work on themselves, and my advice for you would be to detach and just let things flow. focus on yourself and your needs and if this person is destined to be in your life, they will be when the time is right.

zodiac signs: leo, aquarius, gemini, libra

channeled song:

get your personal reading here: ♡

#tarot #love tarot reading #tarot cards #daily tarot #tarot community #tarot deck #tarot reader #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #xiatarot #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #pick an image #Spotify

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undercoverpena · 10 months

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iv. before the gold and glimmer

javier peña x f!reader | chapter four of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. an: i adore each of you who are coming along this weird and wonderful journey, we're getting closer, i promise. wordcount: 2.5k.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

I’ll be home in an hour.

I’ll be ready

Are we going to do the crossword tonight or are you going to spend an hour flirting?

too early to comment

I’m bringing my A game.

to flirt with me? baby you flatter me

No. Crosswords, you fucking flirt.

hermosa did you just swear at me

I did. Now I have to concentrate, stop distracting me.

Javi is aware that his pop is thinking things.

Has been since the phone conversations began. The ones initially having slotted in when the house was empty. Quiet. Just him and his thoughts banging around, occasionally punctured by him pressing the keys on his phone until the phone rang.

Now, the phone calls have bled out into quick chats on other nights (Javi’s hand over his mouth, trying to muffle a laugh). He’s caught sight of his pop’s smirk more than once.

He’s very aware that he hasn’t helped things by dropping your name into conversations.

Accidentally, at first.

Then just accepting his fate and embracing it. Talking about you as if you’re this fully fleshed thing in front of him—mentioning the news thing you’d heard, something funny you’d said.

He even mentioned you to Murphy. Again, not on purpose.

Steve was quick. Picking up on it immediately in their latest monthly catch-up where usually Javi listens to how amazing, disruptive and yet tiring kids are—how Miami would be good for him, and that Connie misses him. This time it segwayed suddenly into, and who might she be then, Jav?

It had crossed his mind to play it down. To conceal you—because a part of him suspects he should hate all of it.

Before, he had always preferred secrecy. Kept the women he had been seeing behind lock and key. Partially due to the nature, the risk—now, though, he thinks he just doesn’t want to share.

Doesn’t want to taint it. Selfishly wanting to keep you all to himself, his slice of happiness that no one can dull.

It also aids in holding himself back from falling over the cliff, tumbling into ruin because he let himself get ahead of himself.

Feel too much, too quick, because Javi didn’t even know what you looked like. Hadn’t eyed you up across a bar, hadn’t spotted you in the aisle of the store.

You’d stumbled into his life.

No reason, no real cause or explanation, and now he’s not entirely sure as to why he feels the amount he does. That he cares, that he likes you. How that when he talks to you, he feels only happy, content and joy—like he could do and be anything.

You provide the key to the semblance of normalcy he’s been longing for. Liking what others would think is mundane, like about your day. Now he longs for it all face to face, where he can read your face instead of dissecting your voice.

She’s just someone I’ve been talking to. Don’t—don’t even know her, really. You knew all the others well before? Fuck off, Murphy. Just sayin’, sometimes, shit just don’t make sense, Jav.

Steve says it as though it answers all his problems.

Like he thinks the words will make all the pieces click into place, suddenly cemented and real—all understood and no longer complex.

But it’s all still very much messy—a tangling of feelings that ready exist and more which threaten to come.

In truth, he doesn’t mind the complications of it all. He just thinks it’s best to protest it a little. Pretend he hasn’t abandoned all logic just because someone made him smile and feel a little less broken.

Because he knew, just like those around him, that he was done for.

It all perfectly evidenced by the fact he doesn’t mind when his pop begins giving him one of those smirks more often than not—the ones surrounded by wiry white hair, partnered with a knowing look on his face. The same conversation circling, the one that’s been going on for days now—

“When the two of you meeting?” “I don’t know, pop.” “You made plans to see her yet?” “No, pop.” “You should go see her. You need a break.” “Pop.”

At some stage, his pop stops beginning it—challenging him. Now he just signals the words with a look. One he assumes parents are given when their child enters the world—the one that is part knowing and part ‘you know you’re going to do what I’m saying, anyway’.

Javi hates that more than he hates the rest of the situation.

Because his pop isn’t wrong. He wants to see you, watch your expressions instead of imagining them.

Not just to see what you look like, but so that he can see how you react when he says certain things. Whether you scrunch your nose or your lips curl before you smile; whether you hide your face when he embarrasses you, or whether you fold your arms and pout.

Each time the two of you text or call, he thinks it—wants to bring it up and ask.

A need in him growing, in the same way his feelings do. Multiplying, quivering in his bones when you laugh, and it travels straight to his heart—making it swell and bloom. Filling the expanse of his chest until he isn’t sure he can feel any more happiness.

Picking up the phone on the first ring, he hears your usual chirpy hey, which he follows with his now usual: “Hey baby.”

“¿Cómo estás, Javi?”

“Ay, you’ve been practising.”

Hearing you laugh makes him smile. Unknots the stresses of the day from him as he pulls the chair over—sitting on it as his head rests against the wall.

“I purchased a Spanish for kids book, so that’s my skill level.”

Smirking, he rolls his lips. “You trying for me?”

“Sí.”

Snorting, he rubs the bridge of his nose. “Eres tan linda, querida.”

“I know the last word means darling.”

“I said you are very cute.”

You pause, a shuffling sound coming from your side of the phone before the softest of sighs. “You’re making me blush, again.”

“You make it too easy.”

“Stop,” you say, all fake warning and all likely accompanied by a cute smile, “How’s your day been—tell me you got a splinter in your ass?”

Smirking, he slumps further into the chair, legs spread, spare hand resting on his thigh. “Starting to think you only talk to me for my body.”

The laugh you let out is closer to a howl, and his cheeks hurt from hearing it—his grin so large, it doesn’t fade for hours.

apprehensive feeling, 5

Come on, Javi.

I think it may be angst

If I were there I’d kiss your cheek.

I know you mean that in a nice way but it feels demeaning

Oh no I meant it as the latter.

is that how we’re being

You tell me.

paris divider, 5

Seine. You ever been to Paris?

no have you

Not yet.

not yet?

Well there’s always time. Heard it’s a romantic place to go.

maybe if you were nicer someone would take you

You make a good point.

things go ok this morning

Not like I wanted but not the worst. I can apply but they’re playing the experience card again.

bullshit, you ok

I will be. Thank you for checking in on me.

you can tell me if youre not yknow

I just need to destress is all. It’s like talking to a fucking wall sometimes.

fuck I love it when you swear

Javi, stop.

do you really want me to

No. But you’re making my face burn.

bet you look real pretty getting embarrassed

I actually do not, so you should stop so you don’t inflict the face on others.

I don’t believe you

Maybe one day you’ll see it for yourself so you can believe me

wish one day was today

Why would you destress me?

baby I’d make sure you couldn’t even think the word stress never mind feel it

You confident in that?

youll have to find out

Something was different in the air the moment he woke up.

Things went far easier than they normally would. No one tried to bowl him over during feeding. The fence he went to check on didn’t look all that bad—and there wasn’t even a queue when he visited the homeware store for pop.

There also wasn’t a rain cloud in the sky.

And it put him on edge.

His gut—the one he had relied on to take down the narcos—flared back to life. It could be a good day, a once-in-a-blue moon, a blessing in a sea of disguise.

But rationality didn’t stop him from checking over his shoulder, do a final sweep of the land.

It had been like that when he’d first gotten back. All on edge, finding it difficult to settle. He had smoked back then, worse than he had done when he’d been over in Colombia. It’s why he’d chosen to quit.

Now, he rotated the phone between his finger and thumb, feeling it vibrate against his palm, checking if it was you before he allows the smile—the one you pull from him by just texting him—blossom.

So I have good news and I have bad news lead with the bad first I can’t call you on Thursday night

His heart drops, plummets.

A part of him knew something bad was around the corner. Taking in your text, over and over. Checking he understood it as he climbed the stairs up the porch.

Javi rolls his head on his neck, staring up—the flies around the porch light buzzing away as he tries to compose himself.

Somehow always knowing that deep down, this day would come. His mind is too quick to act, abruptly busy with conjuring thoughts. That old analytical part of him whirs back to life as it tries to make heads or tails of the situation in front of him, as though it was a case.

Because he suspects that your good news is that you have a date—someone you’ve seen face to face and has swept you off your feet. A person who will take you away from him because he can’t offer you that.

Plus, you don’t even know him.

Not really.

He’s just this person you text.

This person he feels…

well fuck. The good news best be the best news ever I think it is. Don’t tease me, querida Says you, baby.

Baby?

It takes him a second.

The four letters blowing all the conjured theories well and truly out of the water.

His eyes trace over the letters, even after he’s sent the reply. Javi’s heart suddenly in his throat, pulse in his ear—the blood banging around.

Shut up. Anyway I can’t call you because I’ll be on an early flight in the morning to Houston. Work needs me to check out some odd sales. You’ll be in Texas? Yeah. So the good news is, if you meant what you said, we could meet in person.

He swallows, spine straightening—posture suddenly pristine, making the muscles in his back ache from the day as they flex and tighten under his shirt.

You want to meet him.

Or he thinks.

Not wanting to read between the lines—needing the confirmation, to hear you say it. His shirt begins to cling to his back, hair falling over his forehead as sweat grows, strands of hair being grasped against his skin.

You want to meet me? Of course, I’m the one suggesting it. But if you don’t, that’s fine. I mean, I’ll begin judging how lonely you actually are if you don’t. But it’s fine.

His thumbs aren’t quick enough.

Each text firing in—and he wishes, more than he usually does, that he could be there with you. Clutch your cheek, assure you, make you breathe—

baby breathe. I want to meet you, I do But? but nothing

Even if there is.

There seems like there’s a but

Javi doesn’t mean to, but he laughs.

Somehow, miles away—you can already read him. Know him. His thumb massaging his nose, wrist hiding his smile from the world.

I’m nervous about the fact you could see me and never want to speak to me again You think I’m that shallow? No. It’s just you’ve been the best thing about my day in a long, long time, querida Call me. it’s late isn’t it Javi.

He moves, the chair he had been on almost toppling over as he opens the storm door and then the next. Moving into the kitchen, not even needing to pull your number up. He knows it.

It’s burned into him.

The receiver meets his ear as you answer in record time as your voice greets his ears. Followed by a sigh when he greets you in a low-whisper.

“Javi, I feel the same.”

He swallows. “Yeah?”

Silence greets him before you do a soft laugh. That little one he’s begun noticing you do when you later tell him you’ve just nodded or shrugged—forgetting he can’t see down the phone.

“I wanted you to call so you could hear it. That I want to meet you because I can’t stop thinking about you. And that might be insane, and odd. But… I like you. I feel things.”

“I know,” he says, pressing his forehead against the wall—eyes closing, hand tightening around the phone. “I like you, too.”

Javi hears it. The discernible way you relax.

It comes across in the way you take a breath, in the way he suddenly feels his own shoulders slide from his ears.

“But if it’s too soon, I can use some time off—“

“No, cariño. No. I… I want to. I’ll be there.”

You swallow—loud in the silence. Almost clunky. “I’m scared too.”

Opening his eyes, he stares at the peeling paint. Something running over him, from his head to his feet. It whispers to relax, to breathe—allowing him fully to do both.

“You could… I don’t know, see me and find I don’t match the image of me you’ve created. Or, find me horribly boring. Or that I’m actually the strangest person. It’s scary. I’m scared too.”

He nods, smiling to himself. “I’ll pick you up from the airport.”

“You don’t have to—“

“Baby.” It silences you, and the thought makes him smile. “I’ll pick you up from the airport, okay?”

It takes a beat.

A full ten seconds.

“We’re going to meet,” you say softly, almost wistfully.

And it cracks then, a smile. A real one. His usual one. Turning on the spot, pressing his back against the wall, head meeting it as he lets the grin spread into his cheeks, almost to his eyes if his thumb and finger didn’t begin rubbing them.

“We’re gonna meet,” he replies.

Opening his eyes, seeing the noticeable flicker of the television—its shimmering light flittering through the doorway, illuminating his pop, who is standing smiling at him.

AN: remember, if you wish to see the deleted 18+ scene for the birthday bash, be sure to check back on 8th of July, otherwise see you next Tuesday

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stardustprompts · 3 months

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vengeful - v.e. schwab sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !! some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw : death , violence , language , mental health

‘what a fucking cliche.’

‘envy really doesn’t suit you.’

‘don’t you turn that knife on me unless you plan to use it…’

‘you should have let it go.’

‘you can’t just do that to me!’

‘you’ve been gone for hours.’

‘you never said I had to play fair.’

‘that’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

‘you look like a narc.’

‘it feels like dying.’

‘people have an idea of pain. they think they know what it is, how it feels, but that’s just an idea. it’s a very different thing when it becomes concrete.’

‘I did this. I did this to you.’

‘I am alive because of you.’

‘you think I’m playing god? fine, you play, (name). you decide, right now, who should live. us, or them?’

‘it’s a big world. you’re not the only one with talents.’

‘isn’t it silly to lie when we both know the truth?’

‘I think sometimes you make the easiest choice instead of the right one.’

‘make me the villain of that night, (name). wash you hands of any blame.’

‘a promise you can’t keep is just another lie.’

‘I don’t want you to save me. I want to save myself.’

‘I warned you when we met, I wasn’t a good person.’

‘killing me won’t bring her back either.’

‘think hard. we all have to live with our choices.’

‘the next time you point a gun at someone, make sure you’re ready to pull the trigger.’

‘we survived. that's what makes us so powerful.’

‘blood is always family, but family doesn’t always have to be blood.’

‘not all family is blood, right? sometimes we have to find a new one. sometimes we get lucky, and they find us.’

‘this isn’t a stupid game. it’s my life.’

‘are you used to getting what you want?’

‘hasn’t it occurred to you that I can protect myself?’

‘in this world, in my world, people get hurt. they die.’

‘people die in every world. I’m not going anywhere.’

‘you want to be more, (name)? prove it.’

‘they may think they’re kings but we’re the power behind the throne.’

‘i’m not a fucking coat, (name). you don’t get to check me at the door.’

‘where I go, you go. we’re in this together. step for step.’

‘did you always know that you had what it took to end a life?’

‘I thought it would be hard, but in that moment, nothing was easier.’

‘you were never one to dwell on the past. I loved that about you, the way things always just rolled off.’

‘every end is a new beginning.’

‘I underestimated you once. I don’t intend to do so again.’

‘the only difference between us is that you naively insist on preserving what I know should be destroyed.’

‘I played god once and it did not end well.’

‘oh no, it will never work between us.’

‘sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, you just looked sad.’

‘while I admire how far you’ve come, the fact is, you’re tracking mud into my home.’

‘we can’t shape our past. only our future.’

‘don’t you ever wonder if it’s our fault?’

‘life is more than an equation. a person is more than the sum of their parts.’

‘normal is overrated.’

‘A\a magician doesn’t reveal his secrets.’

‘every power has its limits.’

‘we don’t decide who lives and who dies.’

‘now who’s letting their ideals cloud their judgement?’

‘how quickly we devolve. people become animals the moment they are caged.’

‘if you were superhuman, what would your power be?’

‘ignorance is only bliss if you want to get caught.’

‘i’m still here, still doing what I can, because I want to keep people safe.’

‘never underestimate a woman.’

‘I thought I could save him. I tried. but it didn’t work.’

‘power belongs to those who take it.’

‘sharks come swimming when you make a splash.’

‘that’s quite a talent you have there.’

‘I only hope you’re ready to do the right thing,’

‘you help me, and I’ll help you.’

‘everything’s got a limit. you should find yours.’

‘I don’t feel anything.’

‘oh, sorry, if you thought this was a girl’s-night-out kind of thing where we get drunk and bond, I’ll have to pass.’

‘why settle for one weapon when you can have an arsenal?’

‘the life I had is gone. there’s no getting it back.’

‘the life I had is gone. there’s no getting it back. i’d rather make a new one. a better one.’

‘I thought you were done with hiding.’

‘people can see an awful lot, and believe none of it.’

‘why sit around sulking when you could hurt the people who hurt you?’

‘let’s talk about revenge.’

‘there are limits. I can’t stop nature. can't change it’s course.’

‘whatever’s happened to you, however you’re hurt, you’ve done it to yourself.’

‘oh, I like to think I have a great deal of nerve.’

‘if you had a damn bit of sense you would have run.’

'knowledge may be power, but money buys both.’

‘sometimes subtlety is overrated.’

‘when people stay in the dark, it’s easier to make them disappear.’

‘I don’t want to survive, I want to thrive.’

‘what now? you gonna throw yourself a fucking party?’

‘if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had something against me.’

‘if I wanted you dead, you would be.’

‘whatever you’ve heard, it’s probably true.’

‘is there anyone who doesn’t want to kill you?’

‘how many excuses will you find to vindicate your own stubbornness?’

‘careful is a calculated risk. and I’m very good at making those.’

‘the truth is, there will always be someone stronger than you.’

‘you do what you can. you fight, and you win, until you don’t.’

‘once upon a time, power was determined by linage—- the age of blood. then it was determined by money—- the age of gold. but I think it’s time for a new age. the age of power itself.’

‘let me guess, I’m either with you or against you?’

‘you always preferred being predator to prey.’

‘we just have to lie low until it’s over, and then—’

‘when this is over, you and I are going to have words.’

‘it appears that we are evenly matched.’

‘it always comes down to this, doesn’t it? to us.’

#rp sentence starters #rp prompts #rp memes #literature prompts #literature sentence starters #vengeful sentence starters #vengeful prompts #v.e. schwab sentence starters #v.e. schwab prompts

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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 22 days

Text

"Time & the Trickster" a Loki/Doctor Who crossover

Chapter 13: The Ones Left Behind

Sylvie chases you into the bowels of the TARDIS, leaving Loki at her mercy on one side, while you and The Doctor are stranded on the far end. It's a race back to the time vortex to determine who gets control of the TARDIS in the final hours of reality!

CHAPTER WARNING (18+): none

Previous Chapter · Next Chapter MASTERLIST

“How does she know where to go?” you asked as you followed The Doctor further into the depths of the time machine. The lights flickered as the TARDIS itself continued to react to Sylvie’s defiance, as well as the time stones’ interference. Because of this, you and The Doctor weren’t running as you continued your descent.

“She’s been here with me for a few days, she’s had time to explore,” he replied.

“Ah,” you nodded. “Yet you said you never fully warmed up to her. Why?”

“Oh, well when you’re as old as I am, you learn to pick up on things. Holes in stories, feelings that don't line up with actions and the like, y’know?”

“I guess so.”

The time lord went on. “If someone like Sylvie thinks it’s Loki’s ultimate destiny to make a sacrificial move, then why did she storm in here like a Judoon looking for a fugitive? There’s too much brute urgency in the way she acted. You’d think someone’s literal other half sent to retrieve them for imminent imprisonment would be a bit more reluctant and solemn at the task.”

“She is NOT his other half,” you insisted with a brief sigh.

The Doctor stopped in his gtracks, giving you the first serious once-over he’d lent you since arriving. “Oh, I see,” he said with quiet sympathy. “How long did it take you?”

“Take me? To what?” you asked defiantly.

“To fall in love with Loki, of course!” he said casually. “It’s plain as the eyestalk on a Dalek’s face.”

You shrugged. “Not long at all.”

The Doctor thought back for a moment. “It’s the worst thing a traveler can do, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Fall for someone. Anyone.”

The two of you went onward toward the vortex chamber.

“You’re talking about Rose,” you decided.

The Doctor wilted. “Yeah.”

He was suddenly way too quiet. “She chose to go to the throne--err, I mean--risk falling into the Void. She only got lucky at the last moment, which is why she’s still alive.”

“Loki won’t be so lucky unless we get Sylvie to go to his place.”

The Doctor asked if you’d planned for any way of doing that. You brought up your plan to fake her out with Loki’s dramatized death. “It’s a bit Disney, but it’s frankly better than anything I got,” he mused. “But, are you ready to let go of him if it fails?”

You nodded without words.

“It’s a burden that all travelers endure,” The Doctor went on. “Sometimes it feels like a pair of binary stars circling, basking in the glow of one another but never fully combining, because there’s always some force of nature keeping you from fully coming together.”

“I was a fan of his character,” you explained. “I’d dreamed of him for ten years. When he literally came to life before me, I didn’t know what to think. But…he’s even better than the character. I didn’t want to know that. It would’ve made things so much easier if I hadn’t--”

“--now, now,” The Doctor pouted his lips, “regret doesn’t solve anything.”

“Regardless,” you sniffed back, trying to stifle any crying before it started. Getting emotional was the LAST thing you needed in the moment. “I know I have to give him back. There are others who need him. I’m just afraid of the heartbreak, and how lonely it’s going to make me.”

“Are you alone in the world? Aside from Loki,” he asked.

“No,” you said quickly. “My brother…who seems to be having trouble finding a parking space,” you added, “we live together. Our parents died a while back. Neither of us socialize much out of work…aside from with the beat cops at the precinct, I suppose.”

“I see,” he replied. “Family’s good.”

“He’s younger, and sometimes he’s difficult to pin down, but sometimes I think I’m the dependent one,” you moped. “He’s the only one who knows how to quell my panic attacks, and if it weren’t for him, I’d absolutely be alone in the world.”

“How often do you have them? The anxiety attacks?”

You rolled your eyes. “More than my share as of late.”

“Of course! Though after the way you tried to take Sylvie all on your own, I was already under the impression that you could take of yourself.”

You smirked. “That wasn’t strength, it was anger.”

“Oh no, you were brilliant back there, truly!” The Doctor insisted. “Have you forgotten she’s Asgardian like Loki? You don’t seem to fully understand that you challenged a god face-to-face just now.”

That perspective hadn’t occurred to you. Your chin went up in pride. “I guess I did, huh?”

The TARDIS shook, but you were able to grab on to your escort’s shoulder to steady yourself. “Sounds like we should move faster,” he mumbled. “Blimey, I thought Loki was going to be the difficult one.”

“Well, in a way--”

“--yeah, don’t try explaining that Variant stuff to me. I regenerate my face and body, and even I think that version of the universe has too many rules and holes.”

You nearly snorted in laughter. “One of you is more than enough, is it?”

He laughed in turn. “Oh absolutely! Just ask every foe from here to Raxacoricofallapatorius.”

“I’d rather not.”

The Doctor led you down a flight of metal stairs and through an archway to the next level of the time machine. “You know, if we didn’t come from separate realities, I’d invite you to go see some places with me.”

“Really?” you asked airly. “I’d love that. It’s such a shame I’m trapped on the most worthless branch of the least interesting, magic-free cardboard box of a timeline there is.”

The Doctor clicked his tongue. “I suppose I pity you a little there.”

Gee thanks, Doctor, you thought. That sure helps.

“Loki has shown me so much since being in my life. Now that he has to leave it one way or the other...I don’t know where to begin processing a life after seeing magic, seeing that he exists beyond a film screen, and hereafter never seeing it or him again. It’s like he’s about to climb back into the TV and turn it off.”

“Echos fade,” The Doctor promised. “Healing will come. You just have to be willing to give it a try once it’s time.”

You sensed the sorry in his words. You knew he’d managed to move on from his Rose. “What’s it like? Losing the one you love like that?” you dared to ask, regretting it as soon as the words left your lips.

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets, looking down at his shoes for a moment in thoughtful silence. He looked sullen, quietly sad, his face forlorn. “Would you like the kind answer or the real one?”

“You know what I want to hear.”

He sighed. “You’ll blame yourself for a long time. You bargain with every invisible force to take their place. Even if you know they are alive and thriving, wherever they are, the room always feels a little larger to you after they go.”

“I wish I couldn’t feel at all,” you said woefully. “Feelings suck.”

“Well, don’t talk like that, you’ll start to sound like a Cyberman,” The Doctor joked lightly, breaking a bit of the drama in the corridor.

You giggled until he interrupted you with, “But…the night sky will suddenly hold a lot more meaning for you. You’ll begin to appreciate the smallest things that remind you of them, and smile when their face enters your thoughts. The smells that bring you back to the times you shared will become addicting and delicious.”

You took one more turn around a sharp-angled corner, and were met with a pair of large, heavy double doors. You heard voices speaking in muffles within.

“But the one thing that tops them all, Y/N, the one thing you need to remember if things come to the worst possible scenario: what they did is not your fault. They made their choices because of their love for us. It wouldn’t do to cry in their wake for long. It’s our duty, as the ones they leave behind, to live.”

It made you think, and the sigh you let out felt as if it weighed fifteen pounds. What more could you and Loki ask for? The possibility that you could run off together that was infinitesimal at best? Perhaps it was asking for too much. Ultimately, no matter what came of the grand finale of this adventure, you would carry the love he’d given you and the lessons he’d taught you for as long as you went on.

“Well, no time like the present,” The Doctor said, indicating that this was your destination. “We’ll need to act quickly. Get the stone into her hand and by whatever means necessary, get her to drop it over the time vortex without anyone falling in.”

“How will I know what that is?”

He gave you a look as if to say you’ve got to be kidding me.

“Oh right,” you mumbled awkwardly. “Wibbly wobbly.”

He nodded with an encouraging smile. “Wibbly wobbly. But I must warn you not to look directly into it. Looking into the time vortex can do unspeakable things to you.”

You and The Doctor each laid a palm on a door, ready to fight the moment you got inside if needed. “Just remember, Y/N, if you want even a slight chance for Loki to escape his sacrifice, Sylvie needs to stay alive.”

“Right,” you said quickly, even as you longed to curl your fingers around her skinny throat. “For him. For all of us.”

Sylvie may have been quicker, but Loki’s legs were longer. Thus, keeping up with her was a simple task, even if she was weaving methodically through tiny passageways, leaping down entire stairwells, and cutting through the oddest array of rooms, some of which seemed wholly unnecessary for a time machine (why was there a swimming pool and art gallery down here?).

She knew where to go to head you off, to guard the time vortex from any stones getting within and shipping her off to a place that would only welcome her with an escort to an eternity of existing for others. All her hard work and suffering would be for naught!

Loki wasn’t speaking to her, even as she found the time vortex chamber in minutes. The TARDIS was still shaking intermittently, each time a bit more violent. She was breaking, and soon she would probably fall apart entirely. That would doom everyone to the collapse of reality, and it could not happen.

Sylvie opened the double doors, stepping cautiously inside. Loki slipped through before she slammed them shut.

“If you move more than one step toward that…” she pointed to the center of the room, where a large, closed basin stood, bright white light leaking out from under the stone lid. “…or if I see you take that stone out…” She held her dagger to Loki’s throat, causing him to still his breath as much as possible.

Loki gritted his teeth against the burning sensation against his thigh where he’d quickly stashed the stone before giving chase. He put up his arms and shook his head quietly. “You’ll run me through, I imagine.”

Her eyes never left his face. She wasn’t sure whether to relish his hesitation, or to be on higher guard. Meanwhile, Loki was beginning to observe the room for himself from his position against the doors.

In addition to the large basin, the room held a cool, dark blue hue, nearly completely made of stone and entirely too ostentatious for its singular purpose, it seemed.

“Don’t let anyone in here,” she commanded.

“You expect me to listen now?” asked Loki.

“You expect me not to use this?” Sylvie replied, the very tip of the blade cutting the skin of Loki’s neck.

Loki swallowed. “If you kill me, what then? Who becomes the one to heal time in my place but you?” He stood up a little straighter as the realization hit her. She took two steps back and brought the blade down to her side without putting it away.

“So…now what?” she asked.

Loki brushed some hair away from his face, coated in sweat. “We go back to the TVA.”

“I said NO!” Sylvie shouted, stomping her foot and turning her back on him. The floor shook with such force that Loki nearly tumbled to the ground.

“Well, then neither of us do it, and everyone and everything dies.” He shrugged once the room was still underfoot. “Including us.”

“Is that worse than sitting at the edge of time being a slave?” she scoffed, beginning to walk a slow lap around the vortex basin. “After all I’ve been through!”

There it was. The words Loki needed to hear to finally put everything about Sylvie together in his mind. After all I’ve been through. No matter what he said, she was lost. It would never be about anyone else no matter what he said.

Still, he had to try. “You’d consider it slavery?”

“What else is it, eternally serving others?”

“I have spent weeks traveling as mortals do across land and sea,” he said. “The first hour after my arrival I was knocked out cold by a drunkard. I have been in TWO prison cells AND a shipwreck, and I paid an inordinately large sum for a tower of fish food. I may not have spent my life running and hiding in apocalypses, but I did spend it among lying fathers, purple conquerors, and with so little to hold on to that for so long I didn’t see a reason to do so.”

He slowly walked deeper into the room, taking in the vastness of it. “Then she happened.”

“That hot-headed human?” Sylvie mocked. “First Mobius, now her?”

Loki smirked in a way that would make Tony Stark proud. “I’m starting to think Midgardians just make better lovers.”

Sylvie rolled her eyes in her trademark scowl. “In the end, they don’t matter. The only one in our lives who never betrays us is ourselves!”

Loki shrugged. “I beg to differ. I happen to think I’ve been the biggest detriment to my own existence for eons. The only reason I’m not dead this minute is because of others.”

Something peculiar changed in Sylvie’s energy, almost like it had reached its zenith and was beginning to fall. “And I understand it’s awful when you feel there’s no one in the world to rely on but yourself, but no one is EVER alone unless they ask to be!”

She was quiet, refusing to look back at him. “I suppose…”

“…you surely must trust me a little.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You have your back to me right now.”

She shot around to find Loki only about five feet away, holding a handkerchief by the gathered corners, a smoking green morsel inside. She widened her stance and brandished her dagger again.

“You can do this, Sylvie. Maybe this is your purpose,” he suggested softly. “It’s how you can prove to the TVA and every one of your transgressors that you—”

“—how simple do you think I am? We’ve spent so much time together! No, it’s not my place. They don’t deserve my protection!”

Loki felt his eyes go hot as he held back a tear for her. Sylvie, you fear the cosmos too much, as I once did.

Perhaps if she had a Thor (Thora?) to play with as a child, or was allowed to live on her version of Asgard without the TVA’s interventions, she would’ve learned how to open the gates to her heart. She wouldn’t be such a hardened warrior with no faith in the world.

I need to get this to the basin over there, he thought, when he senses a presence from behind the double doors. He knew you and The Doctor had arrived.

Sylvie jumped when you and The Doctor bursted in, Sylvie’s cracked stone in your hand.

“It’s time, Sylvie,” you said, standing up straight and brandishing the rock between your fingers. “This is all down to you. We can do this without anyone getting hurt, or I can drag you to the TVA by your ankles. Now, what’s it going to be?”

Life Update: I got some life-altering news this weekend. My dad is dying of a fast-acting gastrointestinal cancer, and I'm quite close with him. I have yet to see how this is going to affect my presence here for the next few months, but rest assured whether or not I go away or annoy everyone here to death with my need to distract myself, this fic is finished and the remaining chapters are queued.

@crashingwavesofeuphoria @kkdvkyya @red-shirt-mania @misschris1412 @salvinaa @marygoddessofmischief @spiderstyles04 @fireflymoonwitch @mochie85 @loz-3 @lcolumbia1988 @lokilurker @eleniblue @gruftiela @starkzdaughter @mrsbarnes-avenger @thedistractedagglomeration @km-ffluv @lokisgoodgirl @holdmytesseract @itsthattimedarling @wolfsmom1 @scully2u @shinisenko @mischief2sarawr @ririsutty73 @lulubelle814 @meg81589 @gloriuspurposeposts @theonetruepotato87 @linllewellyn @wistfulclueless @etherealkistar @tinydancer40 @hardtravelerwizard-blog @fangirlofmanysstuff @krabog @soulpiercing @archivelaurarps @banjo-bastard

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lfghughes · 1 year

Text

Me + All Your Reasons

a/n: i had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoyed it. if it’s something you would like for me to continue in more parts just let me know!

warnings: anxiety and some heartbreak

Sports had always been a big part of your life and your families life but also social media and creativity were another thing you were good at. So when it came time to pick a field to work in no one was surprised when you wanted to work for a sports team for their media team. That is exactly how you landed your spot working for the New Jersey Devils and yes the deadlines were stressful and the anxiety of thinking people wouldn’t like your work was also in the back of your mind. You had a many different demographics to please and you just wanted to make sure everyone was happy with your work. Aside from the stress though, it was a lot of fun. The traveling was fun, seeing how the team grew over the season was amazing, but also the friendships you made with people. You knew that doing videos for social media wasn’t always something the boys were looking forward to and sometimes you had one who just wasn’t in the mood but most of them had become good enough friends with you that you could bribe them easily. Nico was probably the easiest one to convince to do things and it was probably because he had the biggest heart and couldn’t say no or he felt like as the captain he needed to at least try to help you. You had only really picked up on it potentially being another reason when you were bribing Jack to help you with a video because Nico had been busy. “I’m pretty surprised he didn’t move his schedule around for you.” Jack teased, the boyish grin on his lips. “Why would he do that? He helps out plenty.” You pointed out, not thinking much of it. “Oh come on, why do you think he’s always so willing to help you with those big old puppy dog eyes.” And then it dawned on you what Jack was trying to say. “Whatever you’re thinking, just stop. That’s not what it is.” You told him and he quickly shrugged at you. “Whatever you say.” Both of you wrapped up what you needed to get done but your head had been elsewhere after that. Nico was a great guy, there was no doubt there. He was also attractive, there was no question there but you were not risking your job and also your reputation by getting involved with a player that was a big no no for the company. As weeks passed you noticed what Jack had pointed out and you came to realize that you didn’t just think Nico was a great person but in any other case he would have been someone you would have agreed to go on at least a date with. It didn’t matter though, the season was ending and you would keep your mind off of it all summer and then by the time the season restarted this crush would be gone from both sides. That’s the reasoning that got you through the next few weeks until the end of the season. It was also what got you through every interaction with him. Now it was the end of the season and you had come in for their exit interviews so you could say goodbye (for now) to the boys. Of course you saved one of your biggest hugs for Jack who had kind of become like a brother to you even if he was a pain sometimes. Then it was finally Nicos turn and you were ready for a quick goodbye but after you gave him a quick hug, his hand went to your elbow to hold you there. “We’re all going to Mr. Purple’s if you want to join later. It’s just an end of the season thing, not sure if Jack or one of the other boys mentioned it to you but we all deserve an outing.” He told you with that stupidly cute smile. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be there.” And well you lived up to your promises so you didn’t go and the night was actually fun but once again you were doing that thing of avoiding Nico and these stupid feelings so you spent a good chunk of the night being entertained by Marino, Jack, and Luke. At one point you went to grab a drink and Nico caught you, starting a conversation with you. Both of you had ended up moving to one of those smaller couches and you forgot temporarily how bad of an idea it was to flirt with him. The area was definitely a lot more intimate than where you had been with the whole group before. As your conversation progressed at some point his hand went to your knee and you didn’t move it, if anything you liked it there. “I really have to start heading home, It’s late and I have a lot of end of season editing to do.” “I’ll walk you out to your uber.” Yep, he was perfect, that was confirmed. As he walked you out, once you were away from everyone his hand caught yours “Wait…” He said as he pulled you in for a kiss but before he could it’s like you remembered why you couldn’t. “Nico I’m sorry, I can’t.” A confused look had grown on his face and then realization had hit him. “Oh shit, I’m sorry. It’s Jack, isn’t it? He’s a great guy, I can’t blame you.” You immediately shook your head as if that was the craziest idea you’ve heard. “What no, It’s not Jack. I just can’t do this Nico. I’m so sorry. I like you, it’s just…we can’t.” You pulled your hand away and tried to not look at the pained look on his face. “But why can’t we? If you like me and I like you?” He asked and you put your hands up to stop him. “I just can’t Nico. Goodnight.” And that was how you left him, not wanting to turn back and look at him because you knew you couldn’t handle seeing his face right now and keep saying no. So instead you just kept going, getting into an uber before you let yourself cry about it.

#nico hischier #nico hischier x reader #nico hischier imagine #nico hischier blurb #( me + all your reasons ft nico hischier )

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elodieunderglass · 2 years

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Someone who doesn’t follow me was concerned with the fact that my posts about plantcraft may not be ideologically pure.

Here is my response, which is more effort than a random really deserves:

I don’t hate any plant! They are all “native” somewhere, they are all “useful” somewhere, they all have benefits and lessons to share with us. I love the grass in the grassy part of my own garden. There are six different seed types and they are beautiful. I love seeing little wild birds eat the seeds, and seeing the chickens and Guinea pigs eat the leaves. I love how public parks with grassed areas stand up to every insult humans throw at them, and then in fine weather people automatically come and sit on it. I love the human impulse in fine weather in a city to find a place with mowed grass and Sit Upon It With Friends. No other plant than turf grass could serve the public like that.

I think it’s possible to have a deep and meaningful relationship with any plant that strengthens your connection to nature. I would rather have “ordinary” people practice No Mow May in joy and interest, and journal their butterflies, than bully them out of having a lawn. I think a sustainable interest in sustainable gardening can grow more naturally from “ordinary” people gaining knowledge and connection than through the ranting and bullying of people who actually KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PLANTS.

I don’t think people should water lawns (except in fire risk.)

I don’t think any land should be terraformed. People should not have turf grass in Arizona (it’s frankly cruel to the plant, and takes far too many resources to maintain.) but equally people should not be trying to grow thirsty vegetable plants and flowers in Arizona. People should not be growing almonds in California. The first principle of plantcraft i preach is to work with the local geography in respect for the land. Terraforming a plant that needs a life support system is wrong, but not because the plant is malicious or evil or deserves hate. It’s simply the wrong choice for that land, and would be a fine choice on other land.

I don’t think American dads should have three acres of lawn. I don’t think Americans should have 3 acres. I think they should give the land back. I think if you have more land than your household can reasonably maintain and use, it should be a common. In most cases in Europe and America this will simply be a reversion to how land-in-excess was handled. Many proponents of sustainable living set five (productive) acres as the maximum for a private household to own. In fact, I don’t think anyone should privately own thousands of acres. No, not even those slightly mythical cutesy American family farmers.

I have many political stances that sound a bit bonkers and radical, but when you carve them back, they’re actually deeply informed by science, ecology, sustainability, indigenous activists, and good relationships.

Sometimes I feel that the internet isn’t ready to handle complex thoughts about ecosystems, and maybe that’s fine. Maybe people need to have very simple ideas like “Grass is Bad, Bees is Good” and it doesn’t really matter if, as a result of believing that, they kill lawns with roundup to be more eco-friendly and displace native pollinators with cute European honeybees. Because maybe simple is just that much easier to handle.

But I cannot explain how much I dislike viewing the natural world as a set of fandoms. In which there are organisms you’re supposed to support and plants you’re supposed to hate and people have to check the purity of your preferences. I just don’t think that the lenses of supremacy, power struggles and borders are useful ways to relate to the inhuman universe: they aren’t lenses that zoom in to deep truths, they’re mirrors that only show you reflections of your own thoughts.

I can only warn you that doing so leads you farther away from building relationships and connections with the natural world, and separates you from it, instead of leading you to your place in it.

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celestialscatterbrain · 5 months

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Hiii so one of your composite chart post is about Pisces mars, in this case how about a composite chart with Pisces stellium in it? Btw loveee your content so far its rare to see composite related posts in astrological subject

Thank you!!! I truly appreciate your words. :’)

I once had a Pisces stellium in the composite with someone, and this was HANDS DOWN the biggest crush I have ever had on anyone, EVER. This was my dream man in every shape or form. 😭

I think you two will have several synchronicities in your lives, like to the point it is inexplicable and makes you feel crazy!!! 😭

So to me, I’d like to think that it feels almost written from a dream that you came across them. I think that sometimes life circumstances might keep you apart until you are ready to submerge yourself into a dream fairytale because I imagine the risk of codependency might be significant. Maybe you really idealize one another in ways that are not grounded in reality. One of you can have dreams randomly about the other, but not as often as you’d like given how much you think about them. You can’t believe this person is real. They can seem extremely unobtainable. Intense eye contact, even at the first meeting! Even when no moves are being made, it feels like you are silently courting one another. Being extremely shy around one another at first, where both of you are stuttering and finding it hard to talk without fumbling over the words you did manage to get out. I feel like once you’re together it would feel like you’re floating through life together on a cloud. You’ll probably like to spend lots of time together in bed. I think you guys would love to deep dive into each other’s mind to see through one another’s eyes. You’ll probably feel like no one can know you or see you like this person can. Getting lost when looking into this mirror. This love can probably feel like a psychedelic experience. Even if you two have extremely different or even opposite opinions or perspectives, you’ll try to understand in the deepest ways where the other one is coming from. You’d probably want to heal one another. I’d probably be careful with getting carried away with substance abuse if that’s something relevant in the connection. The other person can feel like a drug. You’ll probably see one another as an enigma you can’t fully understand until the bond solidifies. You can see no wrong in one another and can’t imagine anyone else not seeing them as angelic as you perceive them to be. I do think it makes you two extremely soft and gentle with one another, or at least more soft spoken and polite in one another’s presence. If they’re usually considered to be bad tempered or rude, they might surprise others with how nice they are to you for seemingly no reason and right off the bat. Communication through eye contact. The idea of taking the connection to the next level requires the inclination to jump into the abyss. I feel like physical touch here might be the prevalent love language in this union, because it’s almost a reminder that that person is in fact real. The partner of your dreams, the one who haunts you! If you didn’t believe in soul mates, a Pisces stellium in the composite chart can really make you consider it. You can find it easier than ever to construct detailed daydreams about them all day and use it as an escape. Sometimes you feel like you can’t leave your daydreams of them if you’re not with them. This is for real the type of crush that will make you feel delusional. I’d probably also try your hardest to refrain from losing yourselves in one another. This is the person that if circumstances permitted and the opportunity presented itself, you would throw everything in your life out and runaway with them. “Ruin my life!” or “let’s live in a dream together.” I think you guys seem like you wouldn’t be each other’s type, but end up making a perfect match and it just makes sense to everyone else only after it materializes. Example: the serious preppy boy that comes from old money with an alternative-looking, esoteric, free-spirited girl. Like oh, they look like a trope they should write a book or make a movie about!

If you’ve experienced a composite Pisces stellium with your luvrrrrr, please share! I’d love to hear!

#composite observations #composite astrology #pisces #pisces stellium #composite pisces #love astrology #astroblr #astrology observations #relationship astrology #astrology #astro notes

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dc-and-arfrona · 11 months

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Lying for Love

Jason Todd x Gn!Reader

Summary: They break up and Jason catches you with Dick Grayson

Type: Angst

Word Count: 1.8k

Masterlist

----

Jason's POV

We broke up months ago, it just wasn't a right fit. I know it wasn't a right fit, but damn don't I still love you. It's not like we ever really stopped being together, despite our breakup we still would have hookups that led to nowhere at the end of the night. We agreed that our lifestyles are too dangerous to commit to one another. So, why is it that I find Dick fucking Grayson at your doorstep with flowers one night?

My heart pounds in my chest as I watch Dick standing there, a bouquet of vibrant flowers in his hand. Anger and confusion swirl inside me, threatening to consume every rational thought. How could you move on so quickly? We were supposed to be the ones who understood each other's dangerous lives, who accepted the risks and chose to be together regardless.

I approach cautiously, my steps heavy with a mix of hurt and disbelief. "What the hell is going on?" I demand, my voice laced with a bitterness I can't contain.

You glance at me, your eyes betraying a hint of guilt. "Jason, it's not what you think," you say, your voice trembling slightly. "Dick and I...we've been spending time together, getting to know each other. It's just...complicated."

My jaw clenches as I struggle to process your words. The realization hits me like a punch to the gut. All those nights we spent together, the intimacy we shared, it meant nothing to you. And now, here you are, seemingly moving on with someone else. The pain cuts deep, slicing through the love I still hold for you.

Dick, sensing the tension, takes a step forward. "Jason, I didn't come here to cause trouble," he says, his voice filled with sincerity. "I care about them, and I want to see where this goes. I respect what you both had, but sometimes life takes unexpected turns."

I can't bring myself to meet his gaze, my heart too heavy to bear the sight of the two of you together. It feels like a betrayal, not just by you, but by my own emotions that still cling desperately to the hope of a future with you.

In that moment, a wave of realization crashes over me. Our breakup wasn't just about the dangers of our lives; it was about something deeper, something that had shifted between us. Perhaps we were never meant to be, no matter how fiercely we clung to what we once had.

With a heavy sigh, I take a step back, distancing myself from the scene before me. "I hope you both find what you're looking for," I say, my voice strained but steady. "As for me, maybe it's time I let go and find my own path."

Turning away, I walk into the night, a mix of emotions coursing through my veins. It's time to heal the wounds that still ache, to discover who I am beyond the confines of our complicated love. And as I disappear into the darkness, I can't help but wonder if this pain will ever truly fade, or if it will forever be a reminder of the love I lost.

Reader's POV

As Jason walked away I looked back at Dick. I let out a groan and he carefully puts his arm around me. "I feel like an asshole," I say, completely heartbroken at the sight of Jason torn. Dick pats my back gently, "it's okay, this was a shitty plan but it's effective," he says, trying to comfort me. I nod my head and get myself ready. I was going to go undercover and couldn't have Jason finding out that I was going to be looking into the Joker. Knowing how protective he was and how deep our connection was, I knew there was no way I myself could possibly tell him that we had to stop seeing each other. Even broken up, I wanted to be with him at all times. Dick and I hatched the plan of forcing a true stake between our love to ensure that Jason doesn't find out about my mission and steps in for my sake. Was it fucked up? Very. Did it hurt Jason? Yes. Was this a good idea? I don't know anymore. All I know is that Jason doesn't want anything to do with me, he won't be put into the crossfires, he won't get hurt. Dick follows me into my apartment as I get ready to pack for my mission. Maybe after this is all over, maybe after these next few months I can go back to Jason with all the love I have for him and finally admit that regardless of our dangerous lives, I wanted to be with him through sickness and health.

Dick's presence brings a sense of comfort, reminding me that I'm not alone in this complicated situation. Deep down, I know that distancing myself from Jason is the safest option, even if it tears at my heart.

"I understand why you had to do this," Dick says softly, his voice filled with understanding. "Protecting him means protecting you too."

I nod, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill over. "I just hope he'll forgive me one day," I whisper, my voice trembling. "I never wanted to hurt him like this."

Dick places a hand on my shoulder, his touch offering a small measure of solace. "Sometimes, we have to make tough choices for the ones we love," he says, his voice steady. "Jason is resilient, and he'll understand in time."

As I pack my belongings, my mind drifts to the future, to a time when this mission will be behind us. A glimmer of hope flickers within me, yearning for the day when I can return to Jason's side, embracing him with all the love I've held within. The thought of being reunited, of confessing my unwavering commitment, gives me the strength to push forward.

In the coming months, I delve deeper into the dangerous world of the Joker, uncovering secrets and putting myself at risk. The days turn into nights, filled with uncertainty and danger, but I persevere, knowing that every step I take brings me closer to the day I can find my way back to Jason.

As the mission progresses, I find myself longing for the warmth of Jason's embrace, the way his laughter lights up a room, and the depth of our connection that remains unbroken. I hope that when this is all over, he will see that the sacrifices I made were not in vain, but rather a testament to the love I hold for him.

In the depths of darkness and danger, I keep a flicker of hope burning within my heart. Hope that one day, I can stand before Jason, sharing my truth and asking for forgiveness. I pray that he will understand the reasons behind my actions and that our love will prove resilient enough to weather the storm.

With determination in my eyes, I take a deep breath and ready myself for the mission that lies ahead. I may be physically separated from Jason, but our connection remains unbreakable. And as I embark on this perilous journey, I hold onto the belief that love will find a way to reunite us, stronger and more steadfast than ever before.

Jason's POV

I haven't seen you in a while, I haven't heard from you in months. Everytime you cross my mind, all I can think about is what you and Dick could be doing right now and my heart aches. But here you are, standing in front of my door

As I stand there, staring at you in disbelief, a mixture of emotions floods through me. The pain of our separation, the hurt from the betrayal, and the longing that never truly subsided—all collide within my chest. For a moment, I'm lost for words, unable to comprehend why you've returned after all this time.

"What are you doing here?" I manage to ask, my voice strained with a mix of anger and vulnerability. Part of me wants to push you away, to guard my heart from the pain that still lingers. But another part, the part that never stopped loving you, hopes for answers, for a chance at reconciliation.

You look at me, your eyes filled with regret and a touch of desperation. "Jason, please let me explain," you plead, your voice trembling with sincerity. "I know I've hurt you, and I'm sorry. There's so much you don't know, so much I wish I could have told you."

The conflict within me rages, torn between the desire to shut you out and the yearning to understand. Slowly, reluctantly, I open the door, allowing you into the space that once held our shared memories. The air hangs heavy with unresolved emotions, an invisible barrier between us.

As you step inside, I can't help but notice the weariness etched across your face. The journey you've been on, the mission that drove us apart, is evident in the lines of worry and determination. And despite the anger that lingers, a part of me softens, remembering the love we shared and the battles we fought side by side.

"Talk," I say, my voice firm yet tinged with a vulnerability I can't conceal. "Explain everything, from the beginning. I deserve to know why you left, why you chose to be with Dick."

You take a deep breath, your eyes searching mine for understanding. With each word that spills from your lips, the intricate details of your undercover mission come to light. The dangerous path you've walked, the sacrifices you've made, and the truth you've carried in silence—all unfold before me.

And as I listen, a realization dawns upon me. The pain I felt, the ache of your absence, was not in vain. It was a sacrifice borne out of love, a desperate attempt to protect me from the darkness that consumed your world. In that moment, I begin to see the depth of your choices, the magnitude of the risks you've taken.

As the weight of your truth settles upon my shoulders, the anger starts to dissipate, replaced by a newfound understanding. I reach out, my hand trembling as it grazes yours, the touch igniting a flicker of hope within me. Maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for forgiveness, for us to mend the broken pieces of our love.

With tears welling in my eyes, I whisper, "I still love you, despite everything. But we have a long way to go, a journey of healing and rebuilding trust. Are you willing to walk it with me?"

You take my hand, your grip firm yet gentle, and a small smile graces your lips. "I'm here, Jason. I'm ready to fight for us, for the love that never truly faded. Together, we'll find our way back to each other."

In that moment, standing in the doorway of our shared history, I realize that love, even in its most fractured form, has the power to mend and heal. And with a newfound sense of hope, we embark on a journey to rediscover our love, vowing to protect it fiercely this time, no matter the dangers that lie ahead.

#jason todd x reader #red hood imagine #red hood x you #red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd x y/n #dc imagine #dc universe #dc imagines

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coltrainbat · 1 year

Note

oh oh i got inspiration request from sr. (rdj dad, netflix documentary) so could you write about chris evans decided to do a Netflix documentary movie from how he became celeb to how he met his girlfriend, reader.

Boston Boy: Chris Evans Doco

A/N: OK I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF THIS SCENARIO FOR SO LONG. I ADORE THE CONCEPT. Me being a very visual person, I was like... how do I execute this? It was gonna be gifs but then I thought no like let's get that audio visual thang going. So I present to you my shitty little video montage that I spent 2 hours on my laptop trying to figure out, scouring the internet for clips (they're not mine... clearly please dont sue). I kind of set it out as the single interviews, and then you guys getting asked questions by interviewers at home and then all those little scenes.

So when you watch my poorly done video, firstly, don't judge, secondly, imagine it as little home video clips of you. I HAD TO DO IT. MY BRAIN WOULDNT LET ME POST THIS UNLESS I DID IT.

Please enjoy xo.

1v1 Chris Interview

Interviewer: What’s one song that describes Y/N?

“Killer Queen. No question.” He smirked, resting his chin on his fingers.

< Video Montage of you starts with the music >

She’s just… yeah… you know you don’t meet someone like that every day and the fact that I get to spend every day with her makes me the luckiest man alive.

Interviewer: You guys ready?

Y/N: Oh, this is starting already! God, I haven’t even done my makeup.

CE: You look fine. It’s a documentary babe it’s supposed to be informal.

Chris pulled your feet up over his lap, settling in next to you.

Y/N: I still would have done my hair! I’ve never done an interview for anything besides a job, so this is a little different.

Interviewer: Just think of it as you’re in your living room chatting with friends.

Y/N: Alright shoot!

Interviewer: So, Y/N, I guess it’s funny because you don’t have a profession in the industry you had no aspirations of being famous and you’ve just been thrusted into this spotlight… what’s that like?

Y/N: I mean… it’s definitely different. And I’d be lying if I say I didn’t you know think on it and it’s hard because you have to really question is this guy, I’m seeing worth it? You know? That sacrifice of your privacy or your mundane life. Like yeah, the trips and the nice house and hotels and the events are all great and I can’t complain but you know you give a part of yourself up. That part of you that can go to the grocery store in sweatpants, the one where your whole life doesn’t come up when you google yourself. That was hard but you know I had to kind of follow my heart and I decided yeah you know; I really like this guy and why not? Sometimes you gotta take a risk and follow your heart and I’m glad I did it but I don’t think I’d do this for anyone else.

CE: Would you say I’m worth it now?

Chris smirked at you

Y/N: I’d definitely say you’re worth it.”

Interviewer: And what would you say is the hardest part?

Y/N: Well, you know no one wants to be disliked and that’s always hard to have that rejection but imagine that but from thousands of people who have never met you, don’t know you from a bar of soap who then go online and tell you that. You know that they don’t like you because you’re ugly and fat and you’re a gold digger. Let the record show, I have a really good job that I love so his money was not what did it for me. Especially, since I’m the one who always buys the coffees.

CE: That part killed me…. There’s this girl, you know, my girl that I love and she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and people are just going around online spewing all this hate about her, you kind of feel it’s your fault… ya know? She didn’t choose this life, I did but by extension it’s her life now. I just don’t think she deserves it. The gold digger comment on the other hand is hilarious, I think I owe her $1000 in coffees. She gets weird if I buy her a nice present on her birthday, she’s definitely not after my money.

Y/N: I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s your fault though like I knew what I was getting into, and I agreed to it getting into a relationship with you.

CE: It’s still not fair though. I have this need to protect her, ya know, that’s my job to make sure she’s safe and I can’t protect her from everything and that’s hard.

Y/N: I know honey I know.

You patted his thigh hoping the ease the pain in his voice.

Y/N: I’ve kind of grown immune to it now, these people don’t know me or my relationship so I’m able to kind of shut that out. It’s as simple as putting the phone down.

Interviewer: What’s the best part then?

Y/N: Not having to pay rent in Boston.

CE: Ya kidding!

Y/N: It’s a really tough market!

Y/N: No in seriousness, I live a really privileged life with the man I love. I had a great life before, but I think being in love and having a person makes you feel complete.

Interviewer: So, we’ll set the scene, an A-lister movie star comes up to you on a night out and starts talking to you… what’s going through your head? How did you feel? Starstruck?

Y/N: He looks like every other white dude, so I didn’t clock it immediately but when I did I thought I was being punkd or something.”

CE: Oh come on!

Y/N: No seriously and I’ve told you this I was super suspicious about it. Yeah sure, I’ve had guys come up to me in clubs but having someone who you know could have anyone they wanted, and you know I’m not the beauty standard, I don’t fit the mould of bombshell, I’m curvy and loud and I laugh like a drunk witch I just didn’t think that I was someone he’d be interested in.

CE: Speak for yourself I love your laugh.

Interviewer: So, Chris why did you go up to her?

CE: Well firstly, look at her. I mean I first saw her and I think that was kind of the first time in my life I ever got taken back by someone… I’m a big believer in love at first and I think I had that moment of “wow there she is. That’s the girl I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with.” and it’s not just her looks either she had this energy about her that was addictive and I wanted to be a part of. She was laughing and I could see the faces of the people around her they just seemed so entertained and engaged by whatever she was saying. She’s one of those people you kind of just gravitate to because she has that gift of lighting up a room. She reminds me of a quote I read once, she’s like a sunrise, she doesn’t care if you watch her rise or not she will continue to be beautiful even if no one bothers to look.

Y/N: He had this big grin talking to me the whole time and I thought oh maybe that’s an actor thing where you’re not allowed to stop smiling.

Interviewer: But you thought you were getting punkd…

Y/N: If not punkd, that he was kind of just looking for a one-night fling. Admittedly, I judged him. Definitely. I had read the tabloids, I didn’t understand why someone like him was single, it was suspicious.

CE: It’s because I hadn’t met you yet.

Y/N: Well, we know that now but back then I think I put a wall up because I didn’t want to get hurt. Getting your heartbroken by a celebrity isn’t just as simple as you block their number, his face is everywhere, I’d have to boycott certain movies. I’d be embarrassed by the fact that I trusted some playboy movie star and thought that I was special enough he wanted to be with me.

CE: God you were soooo wrong sweetheart

Y/N: I can admit that now! But yeah, it’s definitely weird trying to navigate his intentions. But he made it pretty clear from the start.

CE: She said no like 50 times.

Interviewer: You said NO?

The interviewer put on a faux gasp.

Y/N: I had my walls up I just don’t think I was willing to be fucked around by Captain America. But I think I realised he was being genuine when he was scheduled to leave to go to some other event and his people came over to kind of get him out and he looked them in the eye and said “no, I’m in the middle of something important.” I was like oh god this man is DETERMINED.

CE: You were important, I refused to leave you alone until you at least agreed to one date.

Y/N: We would of been there all night if I was more stubborn.

CE: Thank god you caved to my good looks and charm.

Y/N: Yeah that and you also promised me a pasta dinner… that’s my advice to all the girls watching never turn down a good meal especially if the guy is paying.

CE: I learnt early on good food is the way to your heart.

Y/N: And then every date after that he’d bring me chocolate like boxes of truffles or those big industrial packs of Reece’s.

CE: She loves Reece’s.

Interviewer: So how do you keep this spark alive? Seems like you two are really in love even after facing some challenges that normal couples wouldn’t.

CE: Sex.

Y/N: Chris!

CE: What? I can’t say that? Look I’m a man, who is lucky he gets to go to bed most nights with a beautiful woman I think that’s a really good part of our relationship that I can’t see going away anytime soon.

Y/N: Intimacy is definitely there that’s for sure but I think also even when you are away we are constantly communicating and planning to do things we enjoy together.

CE: Yeah, when I come home from filming or a press tour my first priority is making sure we have that time to reconnect whether it’s a week, a day or even just a few hours doing something with her and no one else makes me feel a little bit more human again.

Interviewer: Would you say your job makes you feel less human?

CE: In a way yeah, I mean, I’m playing another character 24/7 and I love my job don’t get me wrong but you’re on set for hours every day and then you get pushed into interviews and you have to be “on” all the time you know smiling and answering the same questions for hours. I think that’s why a lot of actors do seem unhappy and it’s because they don’t get to come home to someone who wraps you in this hug of quotidian. I’m Chris Evans most of the time but I come home and to her I’m just “Chrissy baby” and she doesn’t expect me to act a certain way, I can just be myself and pretend for a few hours that I’m just this normal guy coming home to his wife after a day of work.

Y/N: Girlfriend. He means girlfriend. We aren’t married.

CE: Not yet but it’s definitely on the cards. Sorry I slip up a bit, it feels like we are married but yeah no secret wedding or anything.

Interviewer: Have you guys talked about marriage and kids, we know Chris is set on a big Boston family..

CE: Oh, every day.

Y/N: It’s definitely in the works, Chris and I have a similar background in the fact we are big family people so it’s a no brainer that in a couple of years you’ll see me popping out babies.

CE: But for now, we are enjoying life just us and Dodger.

Y/N: Yeah, there’s no rush. It’ll happen though.

Interviewer: How many kids is the perfect number?

Y/N: 3

CE: 4

Interviewer: 3 or 4 which is it?

CE: My number is actually coming down from 5 but obviously it’s her body so if after 3 she feels up for one more, I won’t say no but whatever makes her happy.

Y/N: I need to see how I feel but I’m confident that Chris will be one of those hands-on dads, so I won’t be left alone with 4 kids under 4 running around.

CE: Oh, definitely not, stay at home daddy over here.

Interviewer: Seems you two have given lots of thought to it any baby names?

CE: The baby names are safely locked up in Y/N notes app but yeah, we’ve sorted that out.

Y/N: I’m not spoiling them.

You grin at the gorgeous man next to you.

< Chris’s voice over as scenes of you two moving around airports, packing bags and messing around in green rooms plays >

Life is crazy for me right now; you know with ASP and all these upcoming movies and projects. I don’t think that’s something I’d be able to do if I didn’t have her. She is singlehandedly keeping my engine running. Because there are days when it gets too much, and you have so many different opinions coming your way as to what you should do and how you should act. And there she is, right next to me or a phone call away and I can just turn to her. I definitely value her opinion above anyone else’s and that’s because I think she only gives it when I ask or when she thinks I need to hear it. She knows me better than myself so if she says, “Hey slow down.” I listen because she knows. I know its cheesy, but she is my rock, she is the calm I crave amongst chaos and a minute in her arms helps me get up to do another day.

She inspires me every day, the way she gets up and works tirelessly for others, pursues her passion and is unapologetically herself. They say you’re attract to people who have what you lack, and I think her confidence to say, “Hey you may not like it but I’m not going to conform to what you want me to be.” Is something I admire, and I think being around someone like that really gives me that bit of confidence to kind of shush the anxiety. There’s a certain intelligence that comes with knowing it’s not worth it to change yourself to appease others and that’s why when I say she is the smartest person I know, I mean that.

She’s not just my best friend, she’s, my soulmate.

#chris evans imagines #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans x plus size reader #chris evans fics #chris evans one shot #chris evans imagine #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fic #chris evans fandom

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otakusheep15 · 2 years

Text

Could They Be Trusted with your Drink at a Party?

Alternative title: Are the Twisted Wonderland boys responsible, menaces, or just plain stupid?

Riddle: Maybe

He’s certainly responsible enough, but I feel like he’d see someone causing trouble, and either leave your drink somewhere or drop it in a fit of rage. Don’t worry, he will buy you a new one as an apology.

Trey: Yes

He is very responsible, and would guard your drink with his life. Gives off the vibes of a dad who was forced to chaperone a high school dance, and he just kinda stands awkwardly in a corner until you come back for your drink.

Cater: Yes

This man has sisters, so he knows the drill by now. He will physically fight anyone who even comes close to your drink. The one thing you might have to worry about is that he might take pics of your drink for Magicam depending on how nice it looks.

Ace: No

He will walk away within five seconds of taking your drink. It’s probably not on purpose, he just gets distracted easily. There’s also the chance that he might spill it if he’s not careful.

Deuce: Maybe

Baby has the best intentions, he really does. He tries his absolute best to protect your drink, but he is a bit of a clutz. Chances are, he just tripped and dropped it on the floor. Or, as a worst case scenario, he gets into a fight and drops it by accident whilst fighting. But he will buy you another one as an apology.

Leona: No

He does not care about you or your drink. If you give it to him, he’ll either put it down somewhere or hand it off to someone else (probably Ruggie). The only way he might care is if you’re a fem-aligned person he happens to know pretty well, and even then he might not be willing.

Ruggie: Maybe

This can go one of two ways, The first is that he would be excellent at guarding your drink and would take very good care of it. In this scenario, the two of you are most likely close. The second way is that he has no intention of watching your drink, and will just place it down somewhere. This would happen if the two of you are not close.

Azul: Yes

He’s good at guarding drinks, but you better be ready to pay the price. He’ll ask for you to sign a contract or make some kind of deal, or else he won’t hold it. If you do sign the contract, he’s a perfect person to hold your drink since he never breaks his end of a deal.

Jade: Maybe

Who knows what would happen in this scenario? Sometimes he can be nice and watch your drink like a perfect gentleman. Other times, he might throw in some sort of concoction he made so that you can be his guinea pig. I wouldn’t trust him, but if you wanna take that risk the go ahead.

Floyd: No

Whereas Jade might drug your drink, Floyd most certainly will. Even if the two of you are super close, he’d still think it’d be funny to drug your drink and see what kind of reactions you have. Of course, he’ll watch over you if you have a bad reaction, and he’ll make sure no one hurts you, but do not give him your drink regardless.

Kalim: No

He’s a sweetheart, and he’s trying his best, but he will drop it. Your drink will end up on the floor at some point with him, so just don’t even bother. He’ll most likely start crying because he failed you, and then he’d buy you 17 more drinks as compensation.

Jamil: Yes

Does he want to? No. Is he going to in order to keep up his image? Yes. He’ll be very upset about having to waste his time holding someone else’s drink, but he’d still be really professional about it and guard it with his life until you return.

Vil: Yes

Probably one of the best options if you need someone to watch your drink. He will stand there for as long as you need, and if he absolutely needs to leave for some reason, he’ll give your drink to another trustworthy person and make sure you’re properly informed of the change.

Rook: Yes

No one will go near him because he’s a scary individual. He knows this well, and uses it to his advantage by making sure your drink is safely guarded. Holds on to it for as long as you need, and refuses to let go of it for even a second. If, for some reason, the drink does leave his sight (even for a second) he will trash it immediately and get you a new one.

Epel: Maybe

He’s nice enough to hold your drink, but he’s chaotic enough to drop and/or lose it at some point. Unless he’s being supervised by Vil or Rook, I wouldn’t trust him with your drink, just in case.

Idia: Maybe

Chances are, he’s probably not even at the party to begin with. If he is, he’s in a corner playing some game. If you try to ask him directly, he’ll just run away from you, so I’d recommend just setting your drink down next to him. He most likely won’t even notice, but everyone else is too scared/creeped out by him to get close, meaning your drink will be safe.

Ortho: Yes

I know he’s a child, but let’s just pretend this is a child-friendly party. Anyways, he has many safety protocols installed that will make him an excellent guard. If someone even comes close to him, alarms are ringing, defensive weapons are being deployed, etc. It becomes a whole scene.

Malleus: Yes

No one is coming anywhere near him, so your drink will be safe. Not to mention, he is just a nice person in general, and he would die before letting something happen to your drink.

Lilia: Maybe

He’s very responsible and a nice guy, but he can also be a little shit when he wants to be. He might prank you by hiding your drink somewhere or just downing it himself, but he’ll buy you a new one after.

Silver: No

He’d most likely end up falling asleep and dropping it, or he might forgot about it and leave it somewhere by accident. If you plan on giving it to him, I’d recommend just giving it to Lilia and hope for the best.

Sebek: Yes

He’s very intimidating, so you can bet he’s not letting anyone near your drink. Probably barks at anyone who comes near your drink, or threatens them with the wrath of Malleus.

edit: I left out Jack by accident, but he’d be the perfect guard dog and wouldn’t let anyone near your drink. Sorry Jack :(

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hereforthefanficsandromance · 6 months

Text

The Way He Looks at You Series I:XVIII

Act I: The Way He Looks at You Chapter 18: The Way He Changes for You

Read on AO3 Read on Blogger Read on Tumblr Story Master List: The Way He Looks at You Series

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Chapter Summary

You try to reconcile with your new life. Cal helps Kaahlii try to find you. Rating: 18+ Words: 3.3K

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You wake the next morning confused by your surroundings. This room is unfamiliar, and it takes a moment before the memories of yesterday come into focus. You realize the arm wrapped tightly around your waist is not Cal’s. Your heart aches at the knowledge, but you try to remind yourself that you also loved the man behind you. This is something you could try to want again. You might even forget about the brief time where you belonged to an Inquisitor.

Theo wakes as well and you stiffen, not wanting him to know you’re awake. His hand opens wide, cupping your lower stomach, staking a silent claim on your body. He nuzzles into your hair and squeezes you gently.

“Morning.” His voice is gravelly from sleep.

“Morning.” You parrot back softly.

“Did you sleep okay?” He asks, sitting up slightly to look at you.

You turn to lie on your back, looking up at the handsome man, wishing it was someone else. “I did. Thank you for the help with that.”

Theo smiles softly and his eyes trail down to look at your lips before drifting back to your eyes. He leans down, making his move. You freeze, not yet ready for this level of intimacy. The sound of a small chime coming from under the bed saves you.

Theo immediately pulls back, looking around confused. “What was that?”

You glance around, also confused by the sound, then you remember your things are under the bed. You hadn’t heard that sound before and realize that it may be a message from Kaahlii. “Oh! I bought a reading device, it does that sometimes.” You quickly tell the half truth.

Theo furrows his eyebrows and nods, but then he looks concerned again. “From the bookshop owner?”

You feel your stomach turn at the question and whisper, “Yes.”

He sits up entirely. “She helped you try to get rid of me. We can’t take the risk of her knowing that you are hiding here. The Thirteenth Brother surely will start tracking your location soon. It’s too dangerous to keep it. If he finds her, he’ll get the information, then come for you. We have to get rid of it.”

Your body is unsure whether to keep you in panic mode or calm you. Knowing that Cal has a way to find you is soothing to your anxiety. But Theo wants to get rid of your only hope of getting back to him, so the fear spikes again.

“No! I don’t want to get rid of it.” You plead. But Theo is already standing up, climbing out of the bed, then dropping to his knees to search through your things for the reader. You jump up as well, trying to stop him.

Theo pulls out your satchel and opens it with ease, removing the reader. He turns on the screen and you both see a message waiting to be read. He gives you a serious look, and your heart stops as he taps the message open.

Do you like the invention? You have not yet provided a critique of my work. I will await your response.

You look at the message, confused by her words. Kaahlii does not seem forgetful, but her message shows otherwise. You wonder if this message has an underlying meaning attached to it.

“She can send messages to you? This isn’t a good idea. We have to get rid of this device.” Theo powers off the screen.

You snatch it out of his hands, holding it to your chest. “Theo! It is my decision to make. There is no danger. She’s my friend, and she won’t betray my safety.”

Theo sighs heavily. “You would risk the life of our child? Over a piece of tech?”

“Please, it’s not like that.” You say.

“I want to protect you, us, our family. I can’t do that if you don’t help me.” He says.

You hate that in his eyes; he’s right. You can’t exactly explain that you are in love with the man that threatened to potentially kill your baby. Would Theo even let you leave if you told him the truth? He wouldn’t keep you here as a prisoner, right? You're not so sure under these circumstances.

“I understand what you’re saying, and you are right. I really don’t want to get rid of my connection to Kaahlii. Could we compromise?” You ask hopefully.

Theo lets out the breath that he’s been holding. “How so?”

“We don’t know if I’m pregnant or not. What if I keep the reader off until we know? It shouldn’t be traceable if it’s powered off. Then if I’m not pregnant, I don’t lose my friend. Please?” As you finish speaking, you feel a growing tightness in your chest that makes it hard to intake air as you wait for the verdict.

“Okay, we can do that.” Theo says, “Thank you for making the right decision. I’m going to go see if I can find you some new clothes.”

Theo turns awkwardly and pulls a shirt on before heading out the door. The moment you hear his footsteps fade out, you turn on the reader's screen. You need to figure out a way to let Kaahlii know where you are and that you may be stuck here without saying those exact words.

The message takes a few minutes to compose, but you are sure she will understand. Her message already told you she knows that something is wrong. Once you are sure the device sent the message, you power off the reader and wrap it in the dress that Cal gifted you before stuffing it into your satchel.

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I am impatiently watching the Gree woman work after bringing back the tea she requested. The sound of a chime finally breaks the silence and I just about take the datapad from her hands. She gives me a stern look, and I back off a bit, allowing her to piece the tech back together. She rotates the device carefully to check the screen; we read the message standing side by side.

Kaahlii, I am sorry for not keeping my word and forgetting to critique your work. I have so enjoyed reading with a cup of tea at my side. I prefer the herbal kind, as it usually works wonders for my body. Unfortunately, I cannot provide a full review for several more weeks as I have come down with something. If I’m lucky, all the tea I’m drinking will help cure my affliction, and I can let you know my thoughts.

I am so disappointed; I was in such an exciting part of the book, but I suppose I am trapped there until I am well. It’s amazing how words are so effective at moving us to a new location in our minds. Perhaps I should take up writing. I’d love to transport others with my message. I just can not read until I am well again. Until next time.

“She’s sick?” I ask, trying to piece together the bland response. The message doesn’t have any actual information to go off of.

“I don’t think so.” The Gree woman, who I now know is called Kaahlii, says.

“Then what is she saying?” I ask, realizing that I have relied too much on reading her mind and am not very useful in deciphering her actual words.

“In the second part, she is telling us she won’t be able to send messages anymore. I believe she is hoping that we can use her message to track her location.” Kaahlii explains, “Though I’m not sure what the first part means.”

We both look over the tea that sits on the workbench, as if it will become sentient and explain the missing bit of knowledge. I know that we have time to locate her, but I am not happy about spending more time apart. She is with the Jedi, and she loved him. She still could love him. The thought enrages me; she had been doubtful of staying with me. The moment that she admitted to loving me, he came and stole her back, all because he thought I was hunting her.

“I must open my shop soon, though it will prevent me from working on this,” Kaahlii interrupts my thoughts.

“The shop will stay closed then.” I say firmly.

“Impossible.” She responds, drawing herself to her full height, which barely compares to the height of my waist.

“I’ll pay for the lost earnings. The shop stays closed until you finish helping me.” I say, raising my eyebrows as if daring her to go against my word.

I should have known better. She immediately scoffs and walks past me towards the rest of the shop. I follow her. “You dare to ignore my command?”

She walks to the front desk and begins digging for something in the shelving under the counter. I really could be more unpleasant, but something about this woman makes me feel as though doing so would not change the outcome.

Kaahlii finally stands up holding a folded up brown cloth, which she promptly hands to me. I pull away instinctively, not wanting to accept whatever silent negotiation is taking place.

“I will keep working, but you must run my shop. It will not stay closed today. Today is when the locals bring their young children for story time. If I must continue to work, then you must read for the group.” She demands, pushing the fabric into my hands, which I begrudgingly accept.

I hold the offensive item pinched between two fingers and it unfolds towards the floor. It’s a brown apron. I raise my arm slightly to examine the ugly fabric.

“I will do no such thing, and I will not wear whatever this is.” I say, unable to contain my look of disgust.

“Understood, then we’ve agreed that I will read to the children and I will continue my work on the datapad after the shop has closed for the day.” She walks to grab her own much smaller apron off the wall, placing it over her head and tying it around her waist.

“Do you know what my kind does to those that defy us?” I threaten.

She waves me off as she goes to the glass door to unlock it for the day. “Yes, but you want to impress her, and you know it won’t impress her if you hurt me.”

I huff at my obvious defeat. “Fine, I’ll read to children, but I’m not wearing this.” I drop the apron onto the counter.

She hums in response. “You are right. I can’t have you wearing that. You’ll scare the children.”

I am confused for a moment, then glance down at my own clothes, seeing her point. Meanwhile, Kaahlii climbs onto the step-stool that she keeps behind the counter and quickly pulls off a piece of the armor on my shoulders. I immediately back out of her radius.

“Absolutely not!” I hiss, “You cannot strip me of my position for something so trivial.”

She gives me an annoyed look. “Perhaps she should stay with the Jedi. I’m sure he’s more…paternal.”

My face wrinkles at the comparison and I grit my teeth while taking off my armor in defiance of her words. She only watches with vague interest.

“I’ll do what needs to be done.” I retort, allowing my displeasure to sour the words.

Kaahlii claps her hands once. “Wonderful! Then put this on. Story time begins in three hours. You’ll sit over there.” She tosses me the apron and points to a chair in the window.

“I keep a basket of children’s books next to it. Read maybe three or four, depending on how cooperative the group is. You can practice your out loud reading until they arrive, if you’d like. Otherwise, put away these stacks of books while you wait.” She gestures to the large stacks against the wall behind where we are standing. “You’ll have to take payments for books throughout the day. Good luck.”

She walks away and I yell to her before she passes through the shop door, “I don’t need to practice reading out loud!”

She says nothing and the door closes. I feel humiliated, which makes me angry. I haven’t received such treatment since before becoming an Inquisitor. Placing the ridiculous apron over my head, I reach for the first book and try to figure out where it goes amongst the towering shelves.

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I have only just figured out the organizational system of the books when I hear the door open. I glance up, frustrated to be pulled away from the progress I was making, which it turns out, barely got me halfway through the first stack. Throwing the book I was holding onto the counter, I walk towards the sounds. As I round the nearest shelf, I see a young Twi’lek woman holding hands with her daughter, who is toddling around, touching everything in sight.

She smiles when she sees me and pulls her daughter in my direction. The little girl stumbles and twists around, trying to pull her mother towards the nearest bookshelf. “We are here for story time. Sorry we’re so early. It’s our first time here. Where do we go?”

I am taken aback by the lack of fear on the woman’s face; I don’t remember the last time a stranger greeted me with a smile. “Oh, um, we’ll be over there. You can use the pillows in the corner to sit on the ground.” I say awkwardly, pointing her in the right direction.

“Thank you!” The woman says brightly and pulls her babbling daughter along. As they pass, the little girl’s tiny hand grabs at the fabric of my pant leg, staring up at me with enormous eyes.

I have absolutely no idea what to do at this moment, so I wave once and nod at the girl, who giggles, then she looks concerned. I glance up at the mother, looking for her direction.

“Oh sorry! She won’t stop grabbing things.” The woman explains and tries to pry her daughter's hand off my pants.

The little girl is staring at me with the widest eyes I’ve ever seen, like she is waiting for something. Then she sneezes right up into my face just as her mother pries her hand away. I grimace and walk back to the counter to wipe the spray off my face and apron.

A couple more pairs of mothers and their children enter the bookshop. I don’t walk out to greet them, not wanting to risk another awkward encounter with a child. They don’t seem to mind and they make themselves at home in front of the reading chair. There is a low chatter as the women speak to one another. Occasionally, I hear one child scream or knock something over.

I find it oddly soothing. It’s been so long since I’ve been in an environment where children are noisy and people speak freely. It makes me wonder about having a family, what it might be like to have my own children. My children wouldn’t sneeze on a stranger, I’ll be sure of that.

The last mother and her son walk in right as it is time to start the event. I head over to the chair, dreading the awkward interaction of reading children’s books aloud. I nod to the mothers before taking a seat.

The moment I sit, I am provided with an echo. I see her sitting in this same chair, spending the afternoon going to and from the shelves to read the beginning of various books. She is so beautiful as she reads. I want to pull her against me and kiss her deeply. I immediately feel at ease from the memory. It almost feels like we are together again for a moment.

“Hello, um, I’m going to read a few books. Let me know if you have any requests or…okay.” I say, very much unsure how to start this.

I reach down to pull a book at random out of the basket. I read the title aloud, “Uh, The Little Droid…That Could…”

One child lets out an ear-piercing scream and another topples over into his mother’s lap. I feel wildly unprepared to read to this group of four children. I hold the book in front of my face and read, grateful to have a barrier between myself and the audience.

“Excuse me, could you please turn the book so that we can all see the pictures?” One mother interrupts my reading.

I lower the book and look at her, she gestures how she would prefer I hold the book, “Yeah…sorry…” I say slowly and shift in my seat to turn the book to face the children, having to lean awkwardly around to read the words.

I’m only two pages in before the next interruption. The Twi’lek girl yells, “Droy! Droy! Drooooy!”

Her mother shushes her and gives me an apologetic look. “Sorry, she likes the sounds that the droids make. You don’t have to, but if you make beeping sounds for the droid’s part, she’ll calm down.”

I give the woman a horrified look. I will not be doing that. “Right.” I say instead.

The girl continues to chant her version of the word ‘droid’ and I feel a headache coming on after only a few more pages. I take a breath and at the end of the droid’s part I say, “Beep beep” in a half hearted impression of my old droid.

The little girl squeals in delight, and her mother gives me a big smile. A small grin creeps across my face and I read the page, attempting a more bold beeping sequence at the end. The children giggle and scream. I try harder to get a reaction with each sequential page. By the end of the story, the mothers are laughing and the children are bouncing with excitement, beeping alongside me.

I didn’t even realize that I had a smile plastered across my face until my cheeks ached. I relax my expression while I select the next book. This one is a bit more scary and I see an immediate shift in the children. I try to make the story less scary by oohing and aahing at each part. The children relax and lean in close, enthralled with the tale.

I am rather pleased with how this is going and as I attempt to find a good last book, the Twi’lek girl chants the word ‘droy’. The other children join in and I look up at them all in surprise.

“I suppose we can read that one again, if that is what everyone wants?” I say and look at the parents.

The children answer instead by cheering and clapping. We read the first book again and this time I put my whole heart into the performance; it is the most fun I’ve had in a long time. When the story ends there is a round of applause from the mothers and I watch as the littles ones all attempt to clap as well, though their aim is questionable.

I smile at everyone and look up to see that Kaahlii is standing by the front desk, watching us. She is barely masking the look of amusement on her face. I nod once and things wrap up. A few of the children embrace my legs tightly on the way out while the mothers thank me. I feel so warm right now, nothing hurts at this moment.

As the last customers exit the door, Kaahlii follows them and locks it behind them, putting up a sign saying that the shop is closed. She turns to face me, a now serious expression in place. “I’ve got a location.”

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Need to Rant with Others Who Have Read This Story?

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Next Chapter: The Way He Hunts for You

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casanovawrites · 3 days

Text

random sentence prompts ━ from various tv shows, part 8

it’s hard to figure out where you fit in.

it’s not so easy for me to make friends. i’m not cool like you.

you’re making it really hard for me to be mad at you right now.

it was my fault. i made a mess of it.

something dreadful is about to happen.

high school is the best your life was ever going to get.

you’re gonna leave here thinking that you need to worry about me, but you’re wrong.

we did so much fucked up shit out there. and yeah, maybe it was to survive. maybe. but i don’t think we deserved to.

if you’re done crying, i can tell you some stories.

you sound like you’re about to snap someone in half with that tongue of yours.

what are you saying, i’m not innocent?

i don’t want to be something you have to learn to live with.

you know me. i don’t always listen.

you are my ghost story.

i know you don’t think you’re strong enough, but that’s not true.

it’s family. there’s always an explosion.

someone like you, you seem serious. i’m not sure i’m ready for serious.

understand that i love you, but i will not be waiting up for you.

i spent a long time feeling like i wasn’t enough, and i don’t want to do that anymore.

what about you and me against the world? you and me in the world.

you think i’m lonely?

your job is cooler than mine.

stop smiling, i’m kicking your ass.

i’m chasing ghosts. long story.

you’re itching for a fight.

your neck, it’s bleeding.

there’s “packing away” and there’s “throwing away.”

this is what i get for disobeying your orders.

do you wanna die? answer me. do you wanna die?

you can’t put all your feelings in a box.

we’re actually back on the same side.

if what matters to you most is how other people see you, then you haven’t learned a damn thing.

you think pain is weakness?

why are you worried about a lack of trauma?

we're finally hot, at least according to me.

with them, it’s always two steps forward, then get stabbed in the back.

i crack myself open for 50 minutes, walk out feeling like i was hit by a bus.

i kissed someone. or, they kissed me.

i don’t want to keep on making the same mistakes.

you’re family. it’s what we do. we look out for each other.

are you going to come back?

i don’t have anywhere else to go. you made sure of that.

you were worth the wait.

i guess now i know all your secrets.

don’t make it weird. i love you.

i’d hate for things to get messy again.

talk about your dumb luck.

it doesn’t matter. you always come first.

why is it your job to take those risks?

i’m saying, i love you. and i want you to quit.

it was a big deal to me. you saved my life.

the truth is worth everything.

don’t settle for being half of anything. go out there and do something that allows you to be 100% you.

people go away. i don’t want to miss anyone else.

people go away. and it’s sad and it hurts. but you know, not everyone goes away forever. sometimes they come back.

i know what it’s like to be stuck inside the worst part of your life.

no offense, but you’re never the one getting left behind. you’re the one who leaves.

now it’s time for me to figure out who i am without you.

you are like, out of control.

you know i’m really in love with you, right?

if today can be a good day, maybe tomorrow can, too.

i already feel like a fool. i don’t need the rest of the world to know the joke.

everyone wants to save the world, they just disagree on how.

i wonder if anyone survived.

i’m not usually the “take it easy” type.

do you ever want something good to happen? a really good thing?

there are no answers here.

your type is losers.

one nightmare isn’t necessarily a reason for concern.

that’s not why i came. i’m only here for you, in case you needed me.

i have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you.

you're so hot when you talk shit like that.

it’s all a goddamn prison anyway.

you want a natural disaster? look no further than my life.

i haven’t felt it in years, and it feels wonderful. but it also feels fucking terrifying.

if i’m repressing things i don’t know about, i’m very okay with never figuring it out.

you should be ashamed.

i love you. and as long as i know you feel the same, i can say it enough for the both of us.

i feel a lot of things when i’m with you. happy, safe, a million other things that i can’t explain right now. but i do feel all of that for you.

i’m not pushing anyone away. i’m taking steps back.

home isn’t a place, it’s a people.

all you’ve got out there is your instincts.

love me anyway.

i don’t think good things are gonna happen to me anymore.

sometimes the hardest part is going home by yourself, being alone with all that quiet.

if it’s meant to be, they’ll find their way home.

no one gets under their daughter’s skin like a mom.

i’m not ashamed. i’m glad i’m alive, just like you are.

you’re a good person. you really don’t belong in this place.

life isn’t a science experiment. you can’t control your world forever.

do you ever get tired of winning? or being the fucking worst?

you two together, you are unstoppable.

so who’s gonna die today? you? or me?

hey, you’re back. are you back…?

i know you’re afraid of people leaving you.

i’m afraid that i’m never going to feel normal again.

#ask meme #rp sentence prompts #meme #sentence prompts #sentence starters #ask prompts #*

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etirabys · 1 year

Text

// note: explicitly not about the Canada stuff

I don’t mean the following to be an argument against the 192347987 reasons assisted dying has bad outcomes, or is abused, etc etc. I’m going to quote discoursedrome

it’s common for people to argue that something has costs and so we shouldn’t do it, or that it has benefits and so we should do it, and act like they’ve finished presenting a cogent case for their position, and I am just astonished at the level of confusion that this requires. In a serious discussion, you don’t even have both legs in your pants at that point! It’s weighing trade-offs in the presence of uncertainty. If your argument doesn’t engage with the subject on that level, it’s not ready for competition yet.

, clarify that I’m not making a ‘this has costs and therefore we shouldn’t do it’ type argument, and move on with my point.

Dying as an old person right now sucks.

It can take anywhere from a day to several weeks for someone to die. Sometimes your family wants to wait at the bedside for a week. But a lot of the time they have work and things to do. Maybe they live thousands of miles away. You haven’t recognized them in years, you haven’t spoken a coherent word in months, and even if for some reason your brain chose this moment to recover lucidity you’re on enough morphine to be well inside the borders of la-la-land. ...

There is a national volunteer program called No One Dies Alone. Nice people from the community go into hospitals to spend time with dying people who don’t have anyone else there for them. It makes me happy that this program exists.

Nevertheless, this is the way many of my patients die. Old, limbless, bedridden, ulcerated, in a puddle of waste, gasping for breath, loopy on morphine, hopelessly demented, in a sterile hospital room with someone from a volunteer program who just met them sitting by their bed.

I think practically everyone, if they thought about it, would agree that it sucks, even if they have not spent any times in the places where old people slowly die.

My ideal way to die, some time after getting a “you are going to be in pain and on a lot of meds for the rest of your life” diagnosis, is to have a three day long death party. Everyone who wants can come by, chat about old times, and maybe take some of my stuff as a gift. I’ll make them read my fanfiction.

If relevant, I’ll try to be on whatever meds balance of “not being in too much pain” and “lets me be lucid enough to talk to everyone”. In the last hour, I’ll gather the 3-10 closest people, take a normal dose of heroin (I’d like to know what it’s like at the ONE time it’s safe), and after that take a lethal dose of heroin. I’ll go high on party vibes, surrounded by my loved ones, not feeling abandoned or lonely or too scared.

There is no way for me to have this in the world I live in now. There is no way for you to have this in the world you live in now. Every single person has a much higher risk of having a scary, lonely, painful, undignified death in a world where assisted dying is illegal or very hard to access.

There are a lot of cruelties in the world and this is one of the big ones to me.

#rambl #assisted dying

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molecularhomosexual · 2 months

Text

certainly, certainly, anybody can become a trans woman—of course! it’s not just an identity label, and it’s not just a vibe, but sure, sure, anybody can become a trans woman! why not?

do you want to become a trans woman? that’s great to hear! here are some initial steps you can try to take to start becoming a trans woman:

you must give up your authority in speaking, including and especially on matters that concern yourself and bodies like yours. in fact, put aside the matter of authority! you must reach for that way of life where you are not treated as a person capable of speaking for yourself anymore.

you must feel the insult of having a boot run across your face for being a woman, while simultaneously having that status of woman revoked from you by others, and particularly by those who aren’t trans women.

are you still there? are you starting to feel kicked out of heaven yet?

if you’re brave enough, and alive enough, you can start trying to speak up against others mistreating you for being a trans woman. Of course, according to step 1, you’ve already given up your ability to speak for yourself, so now no one will listen to you—and if someone manages to hear your voice in the noise of existence, they will call you insane, difficult, inconvenient, decrepit, ill.

do you still have a roof over your head? are you still holding down your job? does the world trust you? do you trust the world? do you have a community that supports you? how many trans women are in that community? have you started to feel the suspicion directed at you when you have the good fortune of visiting a queer community space and you hear someone whisper, “enbies and femmes only”?

are you making yourself small yet? are you figuring out ways to make your existence more digestible to the punishers, including and especially to the punishers in trans communities? are you trying to remain in their good graces, to be “the perfect trans woman,” and thereby maybe avoiding the harm that’s due to you?

if you’re lucky, you will find other trans women here and there—sometimes in one large community, digital or physical—sometimes sporadically, spread across the social field in its nooks and crannies. you will tell us your story of how the world, cis and trans alike, abandoned you. you will ask us for our stories, and we will tell you our stories of how the world, cis and trans alike, abandoned us.

if you’re lucky, you will realize that trans women will affirm your ability to speak. this is no surprise, as we have gone through the same castration you have, and we are a group of degraded illegibles ready to listen to each other’s signs of life.

you are unlucky, so you will inevitably see one of your trans women friends become the object of transmisogynist ritual: harassment campaigns, person-disappearings, insult ceremonies, the lot of it.

you will realize that you are at a crossroads. is it too scary to become a trans woman? are you tired of giving up your social power? you can stop becoming a trans woman at any point, and you can start with abandoning your friend in the face of transmisogyny. all gender is artifice in the first place, and you need not uphold any artifice that puts you at risk of harm’s way. right?

maybe there are parts of becoming a trans woman you liked. despite the oppression and isolation, you were starting to grow a strong instinct against disposability, and you had just started to find friends and communities of other trans women coming to terms with the same instinct. maybe you can still build a home here?

so you speak up on behalf of your friend—what’s being done to them is wrong! but this is a mistake too, because now you invite the ire of punishers who are happy to bully you for trying to stand up for the recipient of your care.

if you’re lucky, your jailers may take pity on you. they may say, “we think you’re just experiencing some self-hate and confusion. why would you want to associate yourself with these baeddels? you know that you’re always welcome to come back to us. we will welcome you with open arms, and we will share our weapons with you, so that you can keep yourself safe from those degenerates.”

if you’re still determined to become a trans woman at this point, you reject this hostage offer and flee into the arms of the only women who try to understand you, who don’t abandon you just because you were a bit indigestible. you realize what the other “baeddels” realized long ago, that we are allowed to focus our energy and love towards each other, knowing at the very least that our love and care will be received, knowing that we will stand up for each other if any one of us is wronged.

finally, you overhear a conversation among some other queer folk that “those insane, ugly baeddels protest too much about their own oppression! it’s their fault that we can’t have more civilized conversations together—they refuse to be docile and demure for us.” you laugh, insulted and amused all the same.

#transmisogyny #writing

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