break the cycle. it's been "Why do I feel this way? -> is it ever going to get better? -> Wow, I'm messed up -> I'm insecure about that -> But I'll share my mess with others because the insecurity doesn't control me -> they like it & feel it too -> but if they like it because we're all messed up, then aren't I just secure in my mess? Am I afraid to get cleaned up because then they won't connect with me anymore? -> so then my insecurities do control me -> Why do I feel this way? -> is it ever going to get better? -> Wow, I'm messed up -> I'm insecure about that ->" for as long as I can remember.
Let Him break into the cycle and give you a security in Him, not in your mess. An identity in Him, not in your issues. He's got to take your hand and lead you up, step by step, growing and healing away from that cycle. The cycle shouldn't be who you are. Your support shouldn't be your support just because they have the same mess in common. You shouldn't be worried that by getting a wound healed and moving on, you're giving up your Wounded Support Group.
break the cycle by surrendering to God, who is outside of the cycle and can and does make you a new creation.
what would it be like if you stop looking so much at how you feel, and how you think, and how you are, and start talking about something other than your own psyche? Other than what your psyche has in common with others' psyches? You're so profound when you talk about your thoughts and the people who have the same kinds of thoughts as you. What would it be like if you started looking at something outside of yourself and talking about that?
In the same vein as "I've been taking my medication for long enough that I haven't experienced any symptoms in a while, I must not need to take it anymore! (Spoiler alert: the meds are why you haven't had symptoms)" I present to you a similarly clownish thought process- "I haven't experienced that trigger in a long time, maybe I was just exaggerating how bad it was and it'll be fine to engage with this! (Spoiler alert: take a fucking guess babes)"
The 4th of July can be fun but fireworks are the W O R S T. I hope everyone who struggles with the sounds and lights of it all (like me :/) can hopefully have a not terrible night. Same goes for folks with ptsd that is triggered by the fireworks!
POV: you have migraine for as long as you live and you just learn that ear plugs can actually help with sensitivity towards air pressure
P/S: this app is called WeatherX! And if you have migraine and sensitive to barometric pressure drop, it will send you notification to start wearing your earplugs!
Btw I still haven't forgiven the Tumblr userbase for that time Tumblr added the Community Labels and with it a function to effectively filter out these triggers without having to manually block 50+ synonyms and related words for the same thing and you all collectively refused to use them, calling them censorship and making up the lie that your posts will not be seen if you use them because tumblr automatically turned these filters on for everyone. I have this function enabled to not see posts with the sexual content label and all that does is hide it behind a warning with a button to click. Even if someone had this accidentally turned on, if they wanted to see your post they still could. So that was a straight up lie. Putting a Community Label on your post literally does not affect you.
You all talk about accessibility and how much you support it but not when you have to put in the bare minimum of effort (aka clicking 3 buttons) and when it's about groups that the internet convinced you are a danger to your freedom of speech or whatever. Tumblr added an option that could make the site more user-friendly to people with PTSD, sex-repulsed folks, minors and addicts and you guys collectively failed us and I think we should talk about this.
Right, okay, I’ve thought long and hard whether to write this:
A squick (even a strong one) is not the same as a trigger.
Emotional discomfort, even emotional discomfort that leads to low-level physical symptoms like e.g. mild nausea, is not trauma. Unfortunately, TikTok pop psych has done nothing to help people understand the difference, because the trend to perceive (even strong) emotional discomfort as equivalent to a trauma response is worrying and neither helps people with nor without PTSD. I don’t wish it on anyone to actually find out the difference if they haven’t yet (disclaimer, since this is unfortunately necessary these days because everything gets misconstrued: I am not talking about individual experiences, because only you can know about those. I’m talking about wider trends in an often young audience with not enough background info to be able to tell apart sound medical/psychological info and viral BS created by “influencers” for some kind of personal gain).
What people in the current fandom spat want to have tagged as “triggers” are overwhelmingly squicks. And we’re probably all guilty of quickly saying “that triggered me”, myself included (and I’m a licensed psychotherapist, shame on me). It has become somewhat of a shorthand for “extremely annoyed or grossed out”. But when it gets used in the context of tagging, it’s good to remember that no one owes us a tag list the length of our arm just because we don’t like certain things. Even if we strongly dislike them.
And even on the occasion someone else’s yuck or yum is an actual trigger for us, it is impossible to cover for every possible trigger, because in theory, EVERYTHING has the possibility to trigger someone somewhere.
E.g., a certain smell in a supermarket holds the rare possibility of triggering someone, but do you see disclaimers at the supermarket door that say, “May smell of 484 different things, which are in detail [list of 484 things] and might be different tomorrow. Plus, we might have a customer today who smells of that perfume that brings up your triggering childhood memories. Or maybe we won’t, but just on the odd chance we do, we thought we’d rather cover it”.
There might be one person with a very specific trigger that does literally nothing to the vast majority of people. Do we expect everyone on Tumblr to tag for “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” because of that? How about that person just puts “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” in their content filter instead?
Do we really suggest to put that type of responsibility on creators? More importantly: Who are we protecting that way? All we do is put people into bubble wrap and shift responsibility for our mental wellbeing away from ourselves to others.
We are trying to tell other people what to do for our own comfort. That’s controlling.
If we’re squicked out by something, there is a simple solution: we can stop looking or reading. We can use content (not tag) filters. In the worst case, we can block. We don’t have to put that type of responsibility for our personal sensitivities on creators (or people who reblog, for that matter).
We can tag for certain things as a courtesy, I’m all for it. I love being able to filter out stuff I’m not into, and I sometimes wish people would tag better or not tag a certain way (getting ship tags for a ship you’re not into slapped on your character-metas is annoying 🤣). But I don’t die, neither does it cause me unbearable distress, if I see cows where I don’t expect them. Scroll past or block. And if I’m worried about mature topics like nudity or violence: Tumblr has a community label for mature themes you can (and in my view should) use if in doubt. Funnily enough, many people don’t do that though—maybe because they worry about reach?
Of course we should include content warnings where they are due, no one says we shouldn’t. It’s also fair if a creator doesn’t wish to do that beyond general warnings (no specifics) though because they might give away, say, major plot points that way. In that case, general disclaimers like “contains depictions of violence”, or whatever it might be individually, are a good idea. And if that’s not specific enough for us despite knowing that “violence” in general might also contain our personal trigger, we might need to make the decision not to read it to stay safe, but we shouldn’t have a go at the writer for not tagging very specific things that might be considered spoilers.
Long story short: If we assume people are “triggered” by werewolves with vulvas or non-human characters, it might be worth thinking about whether we’re just talking about squicks that very much fall into the category of “personal responsibility”. And there are plenty solutions to that at our end—we don’t need to put that on creators…
Hello! I don’t mean this in a rude way, but is there a themes of sexual abuse in this comic? sorry, I just don’t think I’d be able to handle those things and I want to make sure before reading!
Thank you
Hey! Not rude.
For you and those who want to be safe, I'm gonna put the answer to your question and some other triggers for the general comic under the cut.
(why is it under the cut? Because this list can be mildly spoiler-y and I know some people would prefer to avoid that.)
Is there going to be SA themes in the comic?
No.
However, the following will be present at some point throughout the story:
- descriptions and discussions of child and adult abuse/neglect
- kidnapping
- disassociation
- isolation
- cosmic horror
- violence to a small degree (some blood, bruising, maybe a broken bone, etc)
Trying to heal the fact that you're rarely felt seen and heard constantly from the outside and that you were often abandoned, can be a very long and stressful journey. Everything may trigger you: from having people taking all they can and giving you nothing or crumbs, not paying attention to/forgetting what you say or talking over you, misinterpreting you, leaving you suddenly or ghosting you, not asking how you do even though you do with them, remembering all the people that suddenly left you because they didn't had time for you anymore or didn't feel like including you and worrying if it's all that is gonna happen in your life...
It's pretty saddening and heartbreaking. And it may make you wonder if, by standing your ground and not accepting this but asking for respect, you're being too much/exaggerating it all or not. But you're very likely not exaggerating, you're just trying to learn to receive what you deserve. You're making yourself feel heard and seen by those who don't or aren't aware that they're not considering you (at times it's a matter of different sensitivity, of different points of view). And that's just you trying to balance things out. Keep working on this as at first your resentment may ring a bell even when it's not strictly necessary (you may get triggered also by behaviours that can be coincidental but they sum up to your past experiences, hence yes you may be exaggerating at times but you need to be too much too in order to find a balance); keep healing your heart: people won't always take a part of you and leave, nor you will have to leave them cause they hurt you. Find your true voice and let it be heard and respected.