Everything okay?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.
If you are in the United States, please try:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255)
The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24)
National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text)
RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.
For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.
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Dear diary...
All of this feels so pointless...
I feel like I'm wasting my time here.
There's no point in me being here if all I ever do is suffer...
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when taylor swift said ‘who could ever leave me, darling? but who could stay?’ and when phoebe bridgers said ‘i get this feeling whenever i feel good that it'll be the last time’ and when lorde said ‘they say, you're a little much for me, you're a liability’ and when maisie peters said ‘got the news just last month that i am exhausting and you're not in love’ and when gracie abrams said ‘every time i get too close, i just mess it up’ and when lizzy mcalpine said ‘how do i tell you that i don't know what it means to be happy with somebody?’ and when boygenius said ‘i don't know why i am the way i am’ and
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I just have this feeling
That I’m never gonna be good enough
And it’s killing me
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It sucks so much when you work so hard for something and give it all you got and you do everything you can, but it still doesn't work out and you still fail.
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Rejection. It’s all I’ve ever faced my life. From lovers, from family, from friends, from opportunities to success. I kept going. Kept thinking maybe it just wasn’t right. But I’ve reached that threshold where my fragile heart can’t take it anymore. Each time I get rejected now, it’s like some squeezing my heart and shattering it into uncountable pieces. It makes me feel small, worthless. Like every cell of me was created to be hated. To be looked at with resentment and disgust. Who could love you, my brain says. Look at you, you sorry being. So peculiar. So unlovable but so desperate for love. Wish I’d realize the only solution is to be alone. It’ll be lonely, it’ll hurt but I promise you it won’t burn like when you are rejected. If only I could kill that tiny ray of hope and give up. It would save my life.
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How much pain can a heart really take before it's totally destroyed...?
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I wonder what it feels like to have people in your life who actually want you around, lol
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