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beingjellybeans · 1 year

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Hybrid work made easy: 10 must-have Amazon products for productivity wherever you work

Hybrid work has become the norm for many workers since the pandemic began. It offers the best of both worlds, allowing employees to work from home and the office, giving them the flexibility to adapt their schedules to meet their personal and professional needs. However, this work style comes with its unique set of challenges that can impact productivity, efficiency, and well-being. One of the…

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#amazon finds #amazon.com shopping guide #digital nomad #ergonom #ergonomic chair #hybrid #hybrid work gadgets #lap desk #laptop stand #noise canceling headphones #portable charger #portable monitor #return to office #smart thermostat #standing desk #usb hub #wireless keyboard and mouse #work from home

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tohakumaru · 8 days

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[project page]

>walk away, go with the nomad. i love you.

since you cannot cry, you make an effort to push the stale air out of your lungs, a poor imitation of a sigh - i guess bad habits really die hard. if the nomad has noticed, then it pays you no mind and simply carries on. casting one last lingering glance at the water and the sky above, you dutifully follow. after a short while, it becomes clear that something has changed. the nomad has picked up its pace, moving in erratic strides. here and there, you find it dashing across the sand, beak and head angled upwards, as though searching, or following an invisible thread in the air, one that you can feel, but cannot quite grasp, like a long forgotten name - always on the tip of your tongue, yet never to be spoken aloud. at times, you struggle to keep up. it's so hard, you're so tired, it's too much. your eyes burn with fatigue. you want to scream, to beg the bird-thing to slow down, but the words evade you everytime you open your mouth, and the nomad does not so much as look at you. a hot and bitter pressure builds behind your nose and muffles your ears. once again you feel yourself falling apart - but the blanket wrapped around your frame and the water sloshing in your hollow stomach seem to work against your body's trajectory to disintegrate, two forces swirling inside and all around you, like a wicked pendulum that propels you forward despite, despite.

i won't let you go, should have known that from the start.

---

tenderly her eyes made their pilgrimage across the mounds of glass and steel, mourning perhaps hunger is a cure for insanity, shut-you-up-real-nice knowing full well being alive is a horrendously beautiful thing while the dogs, blood stained snouts dig out the madness, turn it into a five course meal heaving, a still-beating heart melts like butter on their lips as poorly clipped nails fumbled and fussed,

just enough to make a day-ride.

---

in this fashion, you and the nomad dance across the white sand for some time, until a hillside comes into view. upon closer inspection, you are awed to realise it is made entirely of roots. at the foot of this strange hill, a grove - an incredible indent in that tangled mass that is the tree-hill - opens up and presents an even more curious sight: 12 creatures, each bearing the likeness of a bird, but is clearly not one. they stand stock-still and solemn, with multitudes of dried flowers and glittering gemstones at their feet. their faces, elongated and coming to pointy, beak-like ends, are not dissimilar to the nomad, but much more haggard; and so immobile, it is easy to mistake them for statues, has there not been the occassional puffs of dusty smoke and shrill noises, like a kettle boiling over, coming from their beaks and throats that betray any hints of liveliness about them.

the nomad slows its steps, and looks down. it keeps its eyes to the ground as you get nearer to the grove. it occurs to you that it is avoiding the living-statues' gaze. surprisingly, they reciprocrate the gesture. Ever so slightly each of them turn their head, so their eyes fall off the nomad, and onto … you. you, who does not belong you, who comes on a leash, believing it to be choice you, who dies, and nothing changes

to your bewilderment, the statues came to life, all at once. they grovel at the flowers and gems, and toss them in handfuls at you as the nomad leads you through the grove, leaving a trail of petals and stones. when you pass the 12th statue and come to the end of the opening, everything suddenly shifts: slowly, mechanically, the roots shape themselves into a winding stairway, leading you up the hill.

calmly, the nomad signals you to go up.

what do you do?

[previous chapter]

#illustration #fiction #drawing #impossible nomad #writing #storytelling #prose #poetry #poll #stories #ocs #creatures #monster #art #artists on tumblr

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babyjakes · 5 months

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〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | knotting

pairing | alpha!steve rogers x omega!reader

warnings | omegaverse elements: knotting, mating press, breeding (and me not knowing like anything about the omegaverse.) unprotected p in v. clit rubbing. multiple orgasms. overstimulation. crying kink. breeding kink (like fr he wants her pregnant lol.) he comes in her. some brief aftercare. alpha!steve is so hot and powerful it's ruining my life.

word count | 859

an | i've wanted to write something substantial for an omegaverse au for sooo long but i've just been so hesitant to bc i don't feel super well-versed in the genre. shoutout to @starksbabie, ao3, and my google images search for teaching me everything i know about knotting LOL. and @brandycranby for teaching me about the mating press lol. if i got anything wrong, please let me know!!

imagine being alpha!steve's prized omega and mate, being fucked and bred by him during your heat 🤤 (nomad!steve is what comes to mind first, but i've also had a soft spot for endgame look for the longest time, so i'll let you take your pick 😉)

steve's the kind of alpha that doesn't let you lift a single finger (in or out of heat); everything's always done for you because duh!! you're his baby!! this is especially true when it comes to sex during your heat. your only job is to be pleasured and bred. your alpha will do everything for you, no need to worry your pretty little head 💕

thinking about him spreading you out on your back, bringing your bottom up to the edge of the bed so he can stand over you and pound into you as you lay there and take it. he gets you nice and comfy, laying a blanket down beneath you and positioning a pillow under your head to make it easier for you to look up and keep eye contact. of course, he knows you'll spend much of the ordeal with your eyes closed or rolled back in bliss 😏

the number one thing you crave during your heat is the feeling of being filled up, and by now steve's fucked you enough to make you crave being filled by him specifically. he's massive, even for an alpha. long, thick, and unbelievably powerful. because of his overwhelming size and strength, he has to maintain a good balance of fucking you hard enough to satisfy you both, but not too hard to prevent injury

the look on his face as he's ramming into you is a mixture of such pure love and authority. he absolutely talks you through it 😔🙏 you're so overcome with pleasure, he understands it's hard for you to do much talking back

sliding in and out of you at a steady speed, watching as your face is washed over with relief as you finally get what you need. "there you go, honey," smiling as he sees your tummy trembling as it's filled up, "gonna keep fucking this pretty little pussy, just keep being my good girl and taking it. let me give you what you need, doll"

bringing his thumb up to swipe over your quivering clit, always a little eager and impatient with how much he loves to see you come. crooning as you whine and wriggle at the burning feeling he's creating, "i know, baby. i know- so sensitive there, aren't you? look at this pretty little clit. so needy for me"

"nng... n-nnn," he loves the soft, weak little noises you're making. and he loves it even more as they gradually grow louder and more desperate, signaling your building climax

he's working his thumb quicker over your slick button to help keep the pressure rising, "c'mon baby, almost there. you gonna come for me? let's see if we rub a little faster-... oh-" he gasps almost mockingly with a smug smile, praising you heavily as you clench down on his swollen length

and god he could never get tired of seeing you coming. watching as your little face scrunches, your toes curling up in delight, your tummy spasming helplessly as you stammer through a string of angelic, breathy whimpers

"goood, so good for me, baby. keep coming for me, that's it," he draws out his words as you're coming down from your first high. your big, watery eyes and soft little squeaks, paired with having just seen you come, and knowing how sensitive and overstimulated you feel now?? it all makes steve's eyes burn as the heat and primal urges within him rise

it doesn't take long for him to near the edge himself. his large hands come down to manhandle you into position, grabbing under your thighs to force them up, your feet splaying out in the air as he leans himself down over you, his speed and forcefulness bringing tears to your eyes

"gonna come, sweetheart. you want me to fill you up? wanna carry my pups in that pretty little tummy of yours? come on, baby-... shit, that's it-.. f-fuck-"

the feeling of his base rounding out inside you has you crying out weakly, your entire body bracing as you feel the pressure in your core reaching its limit. as the heavy band snaps, your poor, helpless form seizes and spasms beneath your alpha. steve's heavy load shoots into you, the tight mass bulging just inside your entrance locking him inside, forcing you to take what you're given

seconds feel like hours. eventually everything fades to soft tingles as the silence is filled by your and steve's heavy breathing. as soon as he's able, he's shifting so delicately hold you against him, his thick knot still pulsing inside you hard enough to let you feel his heartbeat. "shhh, shhh," he's wiping away the tears that escaped down your cheeks, letting you rest your face in the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar scent. "i got you, doll. just rest now. close your eyes, i'll take care of you"

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months

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The Lost 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of loss, grieving, death, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers

Summary: You move into a shared flat and encounter a mysterious man.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“And this is your room,” Muriel stops before a door along the short hallway. “You have a neighbour just across the hall, and two more on the other side of the kitchen.”

You nod. It isn’t an ideal situation. Not one you ever saw yourself in. But survival isn’t built for the fussy. There are many others like you. Those not so lucky, those who are dead. Many who never got the choice of a new home.

You keep your hand on your rolling bag, your other on your canvas knapsack. They’re full of items that aren’t your own. Second-hand clothes acquired from shelters and toiletries given out by the support workers. You’re on your own now.

“Anything else, dear?” Muriel asks to your silence.

“Thank you, Muriel,” you murmur.

She hands you the key and leaves. Before showing you your own space, she took you around those shared by the rest of her boarders. You suppose they’re your roommates now. A kitchen, two bathrooms, a front room with a tattered couch and old tube television. You’ll stick to your own four walls.

You slide the key in the slot, the metal grinding loudly. You hear a throat clear and peer towards the noise. The walls must be thin. You’re still alone. You let yourself into the room, pulling the door shut behind you. You flip the lock back into place before you shove your bags by the wall.

There’s a twin bed with a metal frame, a single night table, and a standing lamp. There’s also a shallow closet. It’s not much but you don’t need more than that. It’s good to have a roof over your head.

You sit on the lumpy mattress and the frame squeaks loudly. You stand up again and pace around. There isn’t too much room. It shouldn’t matter, you won’t need it. You’ll be out working and back to sleep again. You start tomorrow at the convenience shop.

You hear a thump and your head pops up. You can’t help but jump in your shoes. Ever since the city rained down around you, every bump, every sudden noise has you skittish. It’s nothing, only another boarder.

You go to your bag and unbuckle the flap. You pull out a can of beans and the pocket knife in the side pocket. You go back to the bed and sit, another shrill whine from the metal frame. You pull out the can open from the pocket knife and peel back the lid. On the same keychain is a small metal spork you use to scoop out the beans, eating them cold as your stomach growls hungrily.

You eat, bite by bite, staring at the wall, just beside the only window. It isn’t home. You don’t expect one of those. It’s just a place to live. To survive.

🚪

You take your toothbrush and your tube of toothpaste with you to the bathroom down the hall. It’s just across from the other bedroom on that side of the flat. The doorway is dark, beckoning you inside. You flip on the light and shut the door as you enter.

You turn on the tap and set to brushing your teeth. Such a basic and simple task but one you didn’t always have the chance to do. It’s almost soothing to feel the bristles in your mouth. It makes you feel almost normal.

You take your time as the mint flavour sticks to your tongue. You rinse your brush and flick off the excess water, sliding it back into the travel tube and capping the paste. You look at yourself in the mirror, not for long, just to make sure you still recognise you.

You clutch your things in one hand and flick the light off. You open the door and nearly shriek at the shadow waiting in the hall. You waver in the doorway as a tiny wisp escapes your throat. You blink as the dark silhouette stands with arms crossed in the dim hall.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” the man says gruffly.

He's tall but mostly obscured. His hair wings out around his neck and his shoulders bulge broadly. You feel his eyes boring into you, as he can see through the darkness and you.

You dip your chin and sidle out, keeping your distance as you sidestep along the wall. You should apologise but your voice is buried deep down. You put your hand up in a show of deference.

“You done?” He asks.

You pause and look at the plaster across from you. You nod then turn your back to him completely. He must be the neighbour. You quickly shuffle to your room and hide behind the door. It’s much better than the shelter, you don’t have someone rolling into your sleeping bag, but still, you’re claustrophobic.

You mourn that most. The sense of privacy. Of personal space. Have a place that’s your own with people you know. People you love.

You toss your toothbrush and toothpaste onto the night table and huff as you sit on the bed. You frown and push your head back, trying to soothe the tightness between your shoulders. You blow out, breath rattling as your nose tingles.

You can never go back to Sokovia or how it was. You can only go forward and the road ahead is very lonely.

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #drabble #series #the lost #mcu #marvel #captain america #avengers #nomad!steve

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zapreportsblog · 8 months

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Cullens family x youngest sister! Reader

The cullens each trying to wake up their newest and youngest member in their family for her first day of Highschool.

Let’s just say reader isn’t a light sleeper😅

❝like a bear in hibernation❞

✭ pairing : cullen siblings x reader

✭ fandom : twilight

✭ summary : (Y/n) is the recent adopted member of the Olympic Clan, she’s was once a Norman vampire but after having a run in with Esme she was taken under her wing and slowly adopted into the family’s traditions. Now it’s the first day of school for her and no one can seem to wake her up

✭ authors note : in this version of twilight the vampires here can sleep

✭ twilight masterlist

In the cozy Cullen household, a sense of serenity prevailed. The family had welcomed a new member into their fold, (Y/n), a former nomadic vampire who had once struggled with a dangerous addiction to human blood. But since coming under the Cullens' guidance, she had embraced their lifestyle, adopting a diet of animal blood and striving to gain control over her thirst.

Today marked a special day for (Y/n) as she prepared for her first day of school in the small town of Forks. Her siblings, each with their unique approach to waking her up, had agreed to take turns in the morning.

Alice, always the lively one, decided to be the first to rouse her new sister. She entered (Y/n)'s room with a mischievous grin, armed with a portable speaker playing loud pop music. With precision, she positioned it right by (Y/n)'s ear and cranked up the volume.

The blaring music filled the room, reverberating off the walls. Alice watched with eager anticipation, expecting (Y/n) to jolt awake at the sudden noise.

However, much to Alice's surprise, (Y/n) merely mumbled in her sleep, turning away from the source of the noise. Her eyelids remained closed, and she seemed undisturbed by the cacophony.

Alice couldn't help but giggle at (Y/n)'s resilience. It appeared that (Y/n) was not an easy sleeper to wake.

Alice exited (Y/n)'s room, a bemused expression on her face. Her attempt to wake their new sister with loud pop music had failed, leaving (Y/n) in blissful slumber. She reported back to the rest of the Cullen family, who had gathered in the hallway outside the room.

"No luck in waking her up," Alice declared with a huff, her brow furrowed in frustration.

Edward, with his telepathic abilities, chimed in, "I couldn't sense any change in her emotions when you tried to wake her, Alice."

Emmett chuckled, amused by the situation. "Well, this ought to be interesting. Who's next?"

Alice rolled her eyes playfully before suggesting, "Jasper's turn."

Jasper, always calm and composed, entered (Y/n)'s room with a sense of determination. He understood that his unique gift could be used to influence emotions, and he had a plan in mind.

Approaching (Y/n)'s bed, he reached out and gently touched her shoulder, his voice a soothing whisper. "Wake up, (Y/n). It's time to start your day."

(Y/n) stirred at his touch, but her sleep seemed unusually deep. She mumbled something unintelligible and shifted in her bed, still not fully awake.

Jasper didn't give up. He decided to use his gift, channeling feelings of excitement and energy into (Y/n)'s subconscious. It was like giving her a burst of enthusiasm, akin to the zoomies a dog might experience.

As he infused her with this vibrant energy, (Y/n)'s body reacted. She began tossing and turning in her bed, her limbs twitching as if caught in the throes of excitement. Her breathing quickened, and her features contorted into a mix of joy and restlessness.

The rest of the Cullens watched with fascination as (Y/n) remained blissfully asleep, completely oblivious to the energetic turmoil happening within her dreams.

Jasper couldn't help but crack a smile at the sight. It appeared that, even in slumber, (Y/n) was a force to be reckoned with.

After Jasper's attempt to wake (Y/n) ended with her tossing and turning in her sleep, the Cullen siblings couldn't help but be entertained by their new sister's stubborn slumber. Jasper exited her room, shaking their heads.

Jasper smirked and said, "Seems my attempt didn't work. Emmett, it's your turn."

Emmett, always up for a challenge, grinned widely. He stepped into (Y/n)'s room with an air of excitement, ready to try something different. As soon as he spotted her, he couldn't resist the urge to act like a big kid.

Emmett began bouncing on (Y/n)'s bed with the enthusiasm of a child on a trampoline. The mattress squeaked and shifted beneath his weight as he jumped up and down. He called out, "Wake up, sleepyhead! It's a brand new day!"

But all (Y/n) did in response was mumble in her sleep, her brow furrowing slightly as if she were having an unusual dream. Unbeknownst to Emmett, her powers were activated in her sleep, her telekinesis manifesting.

With a sudden burst of power, Emmett was lifted off the bed and sent flying through the air. He let out a surprised shout as he crashed through the bedroom door and slid into the living room, creating a comical scene that left the other Cullens in stitches.

Emmett groaned from his less-than-graceful landing and rubbed his head as he rose to his feet. He looked back at the closed bedroom door, shaking his head.

"Rose, your turn," he grumbled, determined to finally get their new sister out of bed.

Rosalie, determined to wake (Y/n) from her stubborn slumber, entered the room with a plan in mind. She approached the bed and, with her vampire strength, effortlessly lifted it, attempting to tilt it slightly to make (Y/n) lose her balance and fall.

However, as Rosalie exerted her strength on the bed, she quickly realized that (Y/n) was gripping the mattress tightly, refusing to budge. Her brows furrowed in surprise, but before she could react, (Y/n) activated her telekinesis once more.

With a surge of power, the bed was wrenched from Rosalie's grasp, and she was sent flying backward. Emmett, who had been waiting just outside the room, caught Rosalie with ease.

Rosalie looked back at the closed door, her irritation evident. "Tough luck," Emmett teased as he held her.

The other Cullens, who had been watching the spectacle unfold, exchanged glances. Edward, always the logical one, was their last hope. They turned to him with expectant expressions, silently asking if he could use his telepathy to wake (Y/n).

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "I can't, actually. She puts up a mental block when she's asleep. It's like she's determined to enjoy her beauty rest."

The Cullens sighed collectively, realizing that (Y/n) was indeed a unique challenge when it came to waking her up. Her stubborn slumber was proving to be quite the puzzle, and they couldn't help but be intrigued by their new sister's extraordinary abilities, even in her sleep.

The Cullen family had exhausted their attempts to wake (Y/n) from her deep slumber. With her first day of school looming, it became clear that a more unconventional approach was needed.

Esme, always the nurturing and caring mother figure of the family, spoke up. "Well, we can't just have her miss her first day of school."

Carlisle, the family's patriarch, sighed, knowing what had to be done. "I hope it didn't have to come to this."

He informed the rest of the family of his plan, and with a determined expression, he left the house. Minutes later, he returned with a packet of human blood from his job at the local blood bank.

The Cullens watched with curiosity as Carlisle poured the human blood into a cup, the rich red liquid contrasting starkly with their usual diet of animal blood. They exchanged concerned glances but remained silent.

Carlisle ignored their inquiries and proceeded to (Y/n)'s room. He left the cup of human blood on her nightstand, hoping it would be the key to finally waking her.

Only seconds later, (Y/n) emerged from her room, cup in hand, sipping the human blood. Her eyes were bright and alert, a smile on her face as she greeted her family.

"What a nice wake-up call," she said, her tone cheerful. "But you guys wouldn't believe what I dreamt about."

The Cullens exchanged relieved glances. It seemed that the allure of human blood had successfully roused (Y/n) from her deep slumber, and she was now ready to face her first day of school with her newfound family.

As (Y/n) shared her dream with the Cullens, they couldn't help but be amused by the creative lengths they had gone to in order to wake her. It was just another extraordinary day in the life of their unique family.

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ronearoundblindly · 3 months

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Hideout (1)

touch-starved!Nomad Steve Rogers x motel employee!Reader

Puppy, (see premise post or series)

Summary: An ultra-shy man named Grant arrives with various friends to your family-owned motel. He opens up slowly over the months...and grows a fantastic beard. 🤭

While this part has no mature situations, this series will be 18+ only. MINORS DNI. This is mostly pure setup for the smut in every future chapter. Your media consumption is your responsibility; please choose for yourself if these matters trigger you. If so, there is plenty for you to read on my Light Masterlist, but this work is not it! WC ~2k

He first arrives with only his friend—two fit fellas, one white, one black. They pay in cash, share a double room. The most information you get is Tom Smith, the more open of the two, joking that you’ll have to excuse Grant’s shyness.

Grant doesn’t seem to respond to his own name.

He’s a beefy blond, and your impression is the man doesn’t need to have a lot going on up top to get by in life. You do try not to judge, though. Your job is more about keen observation and recognizing the needs of your guests.

These two guests need privacy. They aren’t unfriendly, but they are not chatty. They go as quickly as they came. One night. The room is slept in, but they were clean enough.

The next time they show up they need three rooms, but you only have two available. Tom and Grant bunk up again, and a couple are with them who do not come into the office. The woman has beautiful auburn hair that she covers with a ball cap, and her very tall beau—whose hand she holds—shields himself in far more clothing than necessary this time of year.

They all sleep (you assume) during the day and only socialize at night when the other guests aren’t around.

Not that the party is loud; they simply seem more at ease when it’s harder to see. They stay three or four days, leaving rather suddenly early one night after paying for the time already.

Sporadically, this continues.

Once it’s only the couple. She is very reserved and he is very awkward, but again nice enough. They stay for nearly two weeks, enjoying hikes in the area, always holding hands. The woman relaxes significantly. It’s quite lovely to see.

Mister and Misses Durham, you know them as. They don’t always respond by name either.

Another visit makes five guests with the addition of a beautiful young woman. Her hair is cropped and bleach blond, and she is by far the most at ease.

It’s this visit that you realize they are just staying in their rooms during the day not sleeping, and you find the karaoke machine to take to Tom’s room.

He’s thrilled, thank goodness, because you don’t normally offer up activities to those who don’t ask about them, but Tom bangs on the doors of the other two (you think) couples so they can join him.

You’re about to leave when he asks you to do a duet with him.

Grant throws out that Tom enjoys Marvin Gaye. It’s the most you’ve heard him say, ever.

“I do,” Tom agrees, “but I don’t mess with the master.”

So you have the idea to sing Marvin Gaye—the song—with Tom as Charlie Puth and you as Meghan Trainor.

It’s quite a lot of fun, belting as best you can, finding Grant’s intense gaze on you for the lyrics: I’m like a stray without a home… I’m like a dog without a bone…

Just as quickly, however, you have to go back to the front desk. Duty calls and all.

You make sure they know the machine is all theirs for as long as they want. Their rooms are too far down the line of the building to hear if they do enjoy it for long, but you get no complaints about noise. You hope for the best.

Later that night, Grant comes by the office, carrying the machine with a smirk on his face and the most genuine appreciation on his lips. He has a lovely deep voice you never knew about.

He just talks to you.

It’s all superficial conversation about the area, the weather, what activities you like on your days off, but even that seems a struggle for him.

Tom was not kidding. His friend is extremely shy. He has trouble thinking up casual questions. He can’t look you in the eye until responding, and he doesn’t give more than a few words in answer to anything.

You laugh--you have to—when Grant asks if he can walk you to your door, which…is ludicrous because you live in the house a whopping fifty meters past the main motel. Your family has owned and run this place for three generations. You’ve walked that path your whole life.

“I like walking,” he shrugs, though from the sheer muscles on him, he does way more than just walk. “I was gonna do a lap or two anyway.”

“Well, I have to wait for Clark to show up, but—“ you look him up and down “—okay.”

Grant is so sweet but so stiff. He holds himself with purpose when actively thinking, but you catch him having these distant moments. He withers like a violet, a shell that’s too small for his big body. He seems lost and lonely.

You’re glad to do whatever keeps him company. Your goal for the night is to make Grant smile as much as humanly possible, but that’s difficult when he won’t let you know anything about him.

Twenty minutes later, Clark, a local stoner kid who hardly looks up from his phone, waltzes in, stepping around Grant like a wall that’s always been there and throwing a “hey, man” out with zero regard for a response. Classic Clark. That’s why he’s on night shifts.

So you grab your bag and let Grant hold the door open for you.

Maybe you’ve been watching the Durhams too much when they come around, but you feel a compulsion to hold his hand. You don’t, obviously, because you only just heard this guy speak for the first time today. It would also be incredibly awkward to hold Grant’s hand in the dead silence that follows on your way up the gravel path.

You’re so consumed by figuring out what to say next that you don’t notice till the beast is right there.

An elk walks right in front of you, taller than Grant. From this angle the animal blocks the entire view of your house it’s so big, and you jump back, slamming into your startled escort’s chest.

You both freeze as it moves slowly at a diagonal to the other side of woods, bringing it and its gigantic horns closer still.

It squawks like some sort of awful banshee and stamps huge hoofs. You throw your weight backward and spin to flee, clambering over Grant’s body.

Why you’re so scared, who knows; you should be used to the wildlife, but no creature has ever done this before.

The most shocking thing, however, is how strongly Grant tries to hold you immobile.

The harsh grip on your waist and the way he hisses through his teeth for you to stop should be your hint, but instead you cling to him harder, asking quietly if the animal is gone.

“Uh…” Grant tenses against you. “It’s…it’s just—“ he shudders when you wriggle “—yes, gone,” he bites out, pushing you away by the hips.

He takes a second to breathe, buries his hands in his pockets, and leans forward, gathering himself.

It was scary. That could have turned nasty very quickly. You were lucky Grant was there and calm…except he was sorta the reason you were distracted in the first place.

Finally composed, he sighs and motions forward. “Let’s get you home.”

Two months later, Grant’s initial five o’clock shadow has come in nicely.

You’ve learned the routine of their check-in. There’s only one room available, unfortunately, but if they stay more than two days, there should be another open.

Tom shrugs and offers a playful, “we’ll see. We go where the wind takes us.” He smooths his palm over a fresh fade at his nape and the sharp angles of his goatee.

“And you, I see, have stopped in for a cut with Terrence in town. He loves the three slices like that.” That's how the barber marks his work. Terrence's shop is very popular.

“It’s a good signature. Wish I could'a convinced this big lug to get a trim.” Tom elbows his friend who stares at his feet.

Grant runs his fingers through his golden locks and swallows. “Yeah, well, maybe next time.”

Without realizing what you’re doing, you stand on the rungs of your stool behind the counter and reach for his lusciously full beard.

“Don’t you dare get rid of this,” you chide, fingertips grazing the skin of his cheek beneath the course yet soft hairs.

You should apologize. You should let go and sit back down. You should professionally hand them their key and be done with it, but instead, you linger, watching his blue eyes darken with a primal devastation.

He’s prey caught in a cage.

You release Grant’s face with an awkward laugh and a shake of your head.

Tom makes his own, very knowing face, and winks.

“You should do that more. Touch him. He could use it.”

Grant clears his throat harshly and blushes, mumbling something about which room number you said they had and that he’ll bring the other bags from the car. He leaves. Tom takes the keys with another wink and a sassy tap on the hardwood.

“Thank ya, ma’am. We appreciate it.”

It’s about twenty minutes later when your pen rolls off the edge of the counter, you find a small duffle left where Grant stood.

“He was joking. It was a joke,” Grant blurts when he finds you standing there to give it back.

You just smile and say Tom isn’t wrong.

“So, if you ever just want a hug…” you mutter, taking a chance to scratch at his bearded chin again. “Not like you’re gonna hurt me.”

He looks back inside, as if seeking permission or checking to make sure his friend is still in the bathroom, singing in the shower.

Grant can’t seem to meet you halfway, but he does inch forward, struggling to word a simple ‘yes.’

The tentative embrace starts with only the top of his chest touching you, bent so his butt is out, no pressure on his hands at your shoulders, so you push a little more and a little more. You get close enough he needs to wrap his arms around you instead. He has to stand straight so his chin doesn’t poke your forehead. He whimpers slightly when your own arms encircle his tiny waist.

A few breaths later, he relaxes into a lovely full-body hug, his rough fingertips on your bare skin where your shirt bunched up. You’re both being human, no more, no less, tangled in simple comfort.

Grant tucks his face into your collarbone suddenly and squeezes, not so hard that it hurts but not gently either. The move tickles you with his beard, your hands pawing up his back as you giggle, and he whines like wounded prey.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you soothe. “I can be here, if you want, to hold. It’s okay.”

That has the opposite effect you intended, knocking him out of some soft reverie and launching him back a foot, a necessary but unwelcome distance.

Grant looks guilty, needy, and resigned as he thanks you for returning the bag and sees you out the door.

dividers by cafekitsune and firefly-graphics

A/N: This will be the shortest (probably) of all the parts, and yeah, we get into some smuttier moments pretty quickly... Stay tuned!

[Next Part: Sweet Baby]

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @rogersbarber @spectre-posts @bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @fallinallinmendes

#steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #nomad steve #nomad steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fluff #steve x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #captain america fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america x you #touchstarved #touch-starved!steve #hideout series

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rookthorne · 7 months

Text

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞

Passion was something that both men did not lack, whether it be for their livelihood, or in their genuine love for what they held dear to their hearts. It should not have surprised you, however, that you would end up caught up in the middle of such a fiery storm you would forever know and call, the Pepper Predicament.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𖠺 Tattoo Artist!CW!Bucky Barnes x Florist!F!Reader x Tattoo Artist!Nomad!Steve Rogers

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 𖠺 1.1k

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𖠺 Fluff, crack, confessions

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 𖠺 This is for @smutconnoisseur — I hope you love how I turned your idea into some of the best and funniest fluff I have ever written!

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𖠺 Something That I Want by Grace Potter

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 𖠺 @stuckybingo 𝗚𝟭 — Friends to Lovers — Masterlist

𝐆𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐈𝐧𝐤 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

It had been a normal morning – business flowed as usual, and your customers beamed and left your shop with hearts full and hopes optimistic. There were sales on bouquets, stuffies, and even some of the art that lined the walls.

Well, it had been a normal day. Up until the door burst open, startling you from your daydreaming haze at the front counter during a lull of customers.

“I am tellin’ you! No, no, we are going to ask her.” There were heavy footsteps and then, Bucky appeared around a shelf, looking just as blustery and frustrated as a hurricane over the sea. “Petal, sweetheart,” he exclaimed upon seeing you.

Steve was laughing, his eyes bright with mirth as he gripped his husband’s hand and lazily strolling behind him. “Calm down,” he soothed, still chuckling. “It doesn’t matter, honey-”

“Like hell will I calm down,” Bucky snapped, and you blinked at his tone. The previous night, the time you had spent with them in the diner had been pleasant and calm – Bucky was not fired up like he was now. It looked like he was ready to blow his head and release a gale. “Petal–our darlin’ Petal, we have something you need to put to rest. This punk is fuckin’ loosin’ it, I swear.”

You stared between the two men, gobsmacked at their contrasting attitudes. “What on earth is going on?”

“What’s going on?” Steve repeated, shaking his head. “Well, you see, we got into a… Predicament, doll. Buck here thinks that a certain thing doesn’t exist and it’s not real, and he won’t hear no different.”

“I don’t-” You tried, standing from your stool to round the counter.

“That’s because they are not fuckin’ real,” Bucky interrupted fiercely, gesturing wildly with his hands. “You said this shit to get-” He made an angry noise in his throat and looked at you. “Are they real?”

“Before you blow your top,” you said slowly, hands raised. Bucky just made another discontented noise and Steve snorted a laugh; he had the decency to cover it with a cough. These boys, you laughed internally. “Is what real, Bucky?”

Steve’s hand moved to squeeze Bucky’s shoulder, and he said, “There are these peppers, you see, and they’re called Peter peppers. He doesn’t think they’re real.”

You could not take it. Bursting into laughter, you clutched your stomach and wheezed, tears immediately sprung to your waterline, and you heaved for breath. It was hysterical laughter, the kind that left you feeling lightheaded and absolutely struck speechless.

“Oh my god, we’ve killed her,” Bucky said alarmed, eyes wide. His expression only sent you into another fit of laughter. “We’ve actually killed her–dammit, Steve.”

“Help!” you wheezed, almost sobbing with the laughter that wouldn’t cease.

“Breathe, doll,” Steve encouraged through his own laughter. He helped you back onto your stool and he rubbed your back, his hand going up and down your spine. “You’re good, just don’t pass out on us.”

“I won’t, I won’t,” you gasped, finally able to speak. Bucky looked spooked and you snorted before you could stop it, but you kept your composure. “Okay, alright–why is this something you’re discussing?”

The sheepish expression and pink flush on Bucky’s cheeks surprised you, and he wouldn’t meet your eyes. He looked down at his boots and murmured something that you didn’t catch.

“You’re gonna need to be louder than that, honey,” Steve teased, and Bucky shot him a glare.

You watched Bucky take a deep breath, as though to steel himself, and then he quietly said, “I was lookin’ up flowers an’ shit, ‘cos I wanted to plant some for you, and they for some reason came up on the blog I found and I swear to god, they are not real. They’re ridiculous and then Steve wouldn’t shut up and kept insisting that they are actually real.” He looked at Steve with such a glint of accusation it was a marvel Steve didn’t melt into the floor. “Since when did you know about peppers, anyway?”

“Oh, Buck,” you said softly, hand over your heart. “You wanted to plant some flowers for me? Oh my gosh.”

Bucky nodded, shrugged, and looked at you. “You deserve somethin’ pretty, sweetheart.”

“Honey,” you cooed, getting off the stool to walk towards Bucky – Steve following close behind. Bucky’s hands were warm as you held them, and you kissed the back of them, a soft gesture that made the blush on his cheeks darken. “I’m a florist, you could have just asked me.”

“But I wanted it to be a surprise,” Bucky insisted, his voice still small. “Steve wanted to get some planters for our windows.”

You looked at Steve who didn’t look sheepish, rather, he looked proud. “‘Course I did. I want our shop to have something to remind us of our girl.”

“I haven’t even said yes, boys,” you reminded them, astounded at their devotion. “How can you feel comfortable doing such things-”

“Because we know what our hearts want.” The words that had left Bucky’s lips left you shell-shocked; unable to speak for the pang that went through your heart. They wanted you enough to even consider doing such a thing to their own haven.

You had promised yourself you would take that plunge. Why not now?

“Well,” you sighed and grabbed Steve’s hand with one of your own, so you were holding both of them close. “Then I guess I better say that I feel like I want it, too.”

Bucky beamed, brighter than the sun, and Steve grinned, a genuine happiness radiating from his whole being. They pulled you close, hugging you tight for a few moments, when Steve pulled away first.

“So, our clever Petal,” he began, and Bucky stiffened next to you. “Are they real–the Peter peppers?”

You winced, and you heard Bucky’s heavy exhale. “Don’t you dare-” He started, intent on cutting you off, but you put a finger over his lips to shush his protest.

“They’re real, Buck–I’m so sorry.”

Steve cheered and Bucky grumbled, his disappointment evident in the furrow of his brows and pout of his lips. “Whose team are you on?” he wondered, staring at you with such an affronted expression that it was like you had just told him he could never draw again.

“I am on my own team–one that knows all about floristry and peppers,” you teased, and you pulled your finger away. “Now, off you go, go brood to your husband over lunch.”

“So rude,” Bucky huffed, stomping off, Steve following close behind.

Steve was the one to pause in the doorway, turning around to wave and call, “We’ll get you some lunch, doll!”

Before you could reply with an ascension, the door swung closed, and it was just you in your shop; heart racing and feeling like you were floating on cloud nine. “That’s that,” you whispered, and you placed a hand over your hammering heart. “That is that–I can’t wait.”

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠈⠂⠄ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

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babyboydaniel · 5 months

Text

Dinner (M)

Daniel Ricciardo x Fem!Reader

Smut, some Fluff | Warnings: 18+, PinV, Oral (female receiving), softdom!Daniel | Word Count: 3.5K

Cooking was one of your favorite things to do. It never seemed like a chore, and even after spending your entire day working, you wanted nothing more than to make a delicious homemade meal. Well, besides cuddling up to your pseudo-nomadic boyfriend. So, after getting home and changing into nothing but an oversized t-shirt and panties, you set off to the kitchen to get started on dinner. Daniel was supposed to be home in an hour after being gone for a week, and you wanted to ensure you had dinner done by the time he walked through the door.

You pulled out all the necessary ingredients from the pantry and the fridge while your current playlist blasted from the speakers. There was no better pairing to cooking than good music. You sang and danced as you prepped and chopped all the vegetables before tossing them on a pan to roast in the oven before turning your attention elsewhere. You were so focused on dinner that it wasn’t until you felt arms wrapped around your waist that you realized Daniel had come home.

“Hiya babe,” he whispered, gently kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear.

“You’re home early,” you commented, setting down the utensils in your hands and snuggling deeper into his embrace.

“The meeting got cut short, thankfully,” he responded, turning you around in his arms. So you were face to face. His hands rested on your lower back. A warm smile pulled at his lips, and his amber eyes swept across your face, filled with nothing but love. A look that you were positive mirrored in your own eyes.

“Hi,” you whispered.

“Hi,” he echoed just as quietly.

With you still in his arms, Daniel leaned in and placed a delicate kiss against your lips. A kiss that said a lot without either of you saying anything. A kiss filled with adoration and longing. A comforting ‘welcome home.’ Daniel tightened his hold on you as you wrapped your arms around him, playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. You wanted him closer. No, you needed him closer. You craved his touch after being apart, and now that you have it, you do not know how you survived so long without it. You sighed into the kiss and parted your lips, silently asking for more.

Daniel chuckled as he nipped your bottom lip. A soft moan floated from you before you pulled him back in for more. Daniel brought one of his hands from where it once rested around your frame, gently cupping your jaw, holding you in place while he slipped his tongue past your open lips. You couldn’t help but let him. You allowed him to take control. Soft noises spilled out of you as Daniel’s plump lips captured yours, and his tongue gently danced against yours. The sounds you made encouraged him further. The once delicate grip on your jaw was now more forceful, keeping you exactly where Daniel wanted. Which you were more than happy to oblige. Your boyfriend had this intoxicating way about him. Every kiss left you feeling drunk and lightheaded. It was addicting, and you were not going to deny yourself from being on the receiving end.

With a tender force, Daniel pushed you back until you were pressed against the cold edge of the counter. His drool-worthy thigh slotted in between your legs. The rough texture of his jeans met your incredibly soft skin and the dampening fabric of your underwear. The feeling was heady. You ground against him, gasping into his mouth, wanting to feel more. Daniel groaned as you writhed in his embrace. The hardness of his trapped cock rested at your hip. Which spurred you on even more. You bucked against him, catching yourself on his thigh and brushing against his member.

Daniel slowly pulled back, but not before he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. You grumbled and pouted as his eyes met yours once again. Desperate to continue the teenage-like dry humping, which you were not above getting off from. But, much to your disappointment, Daniel held you back from getting any more of what you wanted.

“I should leave more often if that is the welcome home I get,” he laughed breathlessly. As if you did not react this way every time he returned home.

“Danny, you are gone enough.”

“Hmm, I don’t know about that,” he smirked, his golden honey eyes sparkling.

“If you are gone any more than you already are, we might have a real issue on our hands,” you responded with complete seriousness.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, babe.”

“I am serious, Daniel,” you stated with your hands on your hips while still in Daniel’s arms.

“Oh, I know you are, babe,” he said while he smiled down at you, “but I love how desperate you get when I am not around.”

“I am not desperate,” you huffed.

Daniel just smirked as if he did not believe you. His fingers slowly began to trace around your hip, giving it a light squeeze as he continued to the top of your thigh. His fingers toyed with the lace there, barely touching you. But it was enough for you to ache for more. Your breathing became shallow, which caused your lover to chuckle under his breath, pleased with your response to his touch. Daniel leaned down, placing his lips against your neck, gently kissing and biting at your pulse point. Moans tumbled from your mouth, and your hips jerked towards his featherlike touch. He snickered as you silently begged for more.

“So, you are telling me if I dipped my fingers in between your thighs, you won’t be wet?” he enquired while slowly running a finger up and down your clothed slit.

“Yeah,” you responded breathlessly.

That is all it took for Daniel to dip his fingers into your panties. It did not take long for him to figure out you were lying. He ran his fingers between your folds, collecting your juices before gently circling your clit. Forcing you to gasp and weave your fingers in his curly hair while he continued to bite at your neck.

“Fuck,” you moaned.

Daniel continued to rub your clit, seeming to move slower and slower, teasing you. Which was one of his favorite pastimes. You rocked your hips against his hand, hoping to get more. Daniel clicked his tongue against his teeth while he shook his head. He brought his face up to meet yours again; a look of faux disappointment cloaked his features. Daniel pulled his hands from where they resided between your legs and brought them up to your lips. His fingers glistened with your essence as he forced them past your swollen lips, tasting yourself on him. You sucked on his fingers with no hesitation. You moaned as he pressed them further into your warm and wet mouth while meeting Daniel’s heated gaze. Once he deemed them clean enough, he pulled them from your mouth and placed a gentle slap on your desperate pussy.

“Liar,” he laughed.

“Daniel,” you cried, trying to chase after his touch.

With that stupid smirk that had not left his face, Daniel gripped your hips tight, forcing you to keep still, “What do you want, babe?”

“You,” you moaned while looking up at him. Giving him your most intense ‘fuck me eyes’ that you could muster.

Daniel shifted his gaze to the ceiling, pretending to contemplate his next decision, “I will think about it.”

Then his arms were no longer on your body. He gently removed your fingers, which were locked in his curls, and put them down by your sides while he stepped away from your body. The warmth immediately left you as goosebumps rose on your skin. You whined as he winked at you as he walked away. He could be so cruel sometimes. In your opinion, he found too much enjoyment in playing with you.

As he left you standing in the kitchen, Daniel went off to find the perfect bottle of wine to go with dinner as if you did not affect him. He hummed along to the song that played over the speakers while he debated over two bottles of wine. Eventually, Daniel settled on a Cabernet Sauvignon and brought it back to the kitchen where you were still standing. He got down two glasses and poured you both a healthy amount before leaning against the counter, sipping the wine as if he did not just leave you on edge. Daniel began to tell you about his day. He rambled on about different topics. Including the planned improvements to the car and the promotional events he will have to attend at the upcoming race. One that you are excited to be in attendance for. You tried to focus on what he was saying, but all you could pay attention to was the wetness between your legs.

It was during a brief pause while he was going on about updates his engineer gave him that you interrupted his monologue, “Daniel, are you seriously just going to leave me like this?”

Daniel cocked his head as if he was confused, “Like what, darling?”

“Don’t play dumb,” you grumbled.

“I am not. I just don’t know what you are talking about. I’ll need you to explain it to me,” Daniel said as he sipped his wine. His eyes never leave yours.

You swore under your breath if Daniel was going to be like that, fine. Two can play that game. You were not above being a brat about it. So, instead of giving him the satisfaction of telling him how much you wanted his touch, you turned to check on the food in the oven. You slowly bent over, causing the bottom of your shirt to reveal your delicate underwear beneath. The growing wet patch is evident between your legs. Daniel growled as you did so. Not as unaffected as he let on. Everything looked fine, so you stood back up, your attention returning to your boyfriend. His eyes lustfully followed your every move. You took your place against the opposite counter as you met Daniel’s stare. His intense gaze made you feel exposed and completely bare.

“Dinner should only take about another 35 minutes,” you stated as Daniel continued to watch you.

Daniel murmured an acknowledgment before setting his glass down behind him. He pushed away from the counter. In a couple of strides, he crowded in your space. The musk of his cologne filled your nostrils and caused your mouth to water. Everything about him tantalized you. He curled his hand around your neck, his thumb pressed to the hinge of your jaw. With a bruising force, he pressed his lips against yours. His tongue immediately forced its way past your closed mouth. It was forceful and dirty, just how you liked it. As fast as it happened, his lips were no longer on yours. Daniel pulled back, lips slick with your spit and hunger in his eyes.

“That gives me enough time to do this,” Daniel stated as he sank to his knees at your feet.

He glanced up at you from his position on the floor. His doe-like eyes filled with nothing but lust and desire, a carnal need to have you. His slender fingers slid up your legs, gripping at the meat of your full thighs until they met the lacy edge of your underwear that rested there. With one last look up to you, a swipe of his tongue against his lips, Daniel pressed his nose against your damp-covered mound. Taking in your scent before he ran his tongue against the material there. The light pressure against your clit forced your hips forward. Your fingers found their way back to his hair. His tongue slowly trailed up and down your covered slit, teasing you. You moaned as you ground against his beautiful nose. Desperate for Daniel to give you more.

Encouraged by the sounds he pulled from you, Daniel yanked your soaked panties from your legs. The cold air hits your dripping lips. Daniel sat back on his heels, taking a moment to admire your clear desire for him before returning his mouth to where you needed it most. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder as he licked the wetness that leaked out of you. His nose brushed your clit as he worked you open with his tongue. You humped his face as you tightened your grip on his unruly locks. He worked his mouth up to that magical bundle of nerves that would undoubtedly have you falling apart in no time. Sucking and gently biting there. Daniel groaned as he brought you more and more pleasure. The noises that fell from your mouth were sinful, and you chanted his name as if it were a prayer. His hands clutched the swell of your ass as he brought you impossibly closer.

“Daniel,” you moaned as you felt yourself rapidly approaching the edge. The rocking of your hips increased as you whined. Your actions only encouraged Daniel on more, eating you out like a man starved.

“I’m going to come,” you panted, your skin sticky with sweat.

Just as you were about to give in to your orgasm, Daniel pulled back from your pussy. His stubble and lips are covered in you, shimmering under the kitchen lights. A wicked smirk painted his face.

You groaned, your head thrown back in frustration as you attempted to follow his touch. Daniel smacked your thigh. He gently ran his fingers over your folds, spreading your arousal around as if entranced by how responsive you were to his touch. If he had it his way, he would spend hours in between your legs eating you out. Something that you would be in support of. His expert fingers kept you on the brink of desire but not enough to make the jump. The uncontainable moans continued to fall from your lips. You just needed more.

With slick fingers, Daniel plunged into your heat. The squelch of your wetness rang out as you yelped. Daniel slowly slipped his fingers out of you before fucking them back into you. Fucking you with his fingers at an agonizing snail's pace. Your breath came in gasps. You pushed against his fingers to prompt Daniel to move faster. Couldn’t he see how much you needed him? Your actions did nothing to encourage him to increase his speed. Instead, he used his free to grasp your hip, halting your movements.

“Behave,” he ordered, looking up at you, forcing you to meet his piercing gaze. Biting your lips, you nodded.

Pleased with your obedience, Daniel returned to thrust his fingers into you. The obscene wet sound mixed with the forgotten music playing faded in the background. Filthy is how you would describe it. It turned you on even more. Then his mouth was back on you, accompanied by his fingers that were deep inside you. Moaning against your clit while his fingers continued to brush against your G-spot. The vibrations from Daniel’s enjoyment caused you to squeal as you pushed his face deeper into your pussy. Your orgasm was once again closing in on you.

Daniel pulled back a fraction, pausing from devouring you, “You close, baby girl?” he asked. Though he knew your body well enough to know you were.

“Mmhmm,” you panted. Fucking against his unrelenting fingers and mouth.

“You want to come?”

You moaned in agreement, unable to form words at this point. Too far gone in pleasure.

“Use your words,” he demanded.

You groaned. Daniel loved hearing you admit that you needed to come, making you beg for what you wanted. In your opinion, he just enjoyed having his ego stroked.

“Yes, Danny. I want to come. Please let me come,” you begged.

Pleased with your response, Daniel doubled his efforts. Pumping his wicked fingers in and out of your sopping cunt while he sucked on your clit. It was only a couple of seconds longer before you were cumming around his fingers. His tongue lapped up the juices that seeped from you, moaning as he tasted you. You sobbed, with your eyes screwed shut and your head tossed back. Your grip on Daniel’s hair was so tight you were convinced it must have been painful, but he did not complain.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted as you came down, slowly riding Daniel’s face.

Coming down from your high, Daniel placed a delicate kiss against your folds before gently placing your leg back on the ground and standing up. His face lit up with one of his signature smiles, pleased with himself. You responded with a satisfied smile of your own. He brought your face up to meet his, kissing you so you could taste yourself on him, which was addictive. You sucked on his bottom lip as you cleaned yourself from him, moaning into his mouth. You pulled back from him, slinging your arms over his shoulders. Daniel dipped down and kissed your collarbone, sucking at the skin there. He slowly worked his way up your neck while his fingers trailed along your sides. His thumbs ghosted over your hardened nipples when he reached the swell of your breasts. You pressed your chest further into his touch as you whimpered. Daniel pressed his lips to your ear, his tongue flicking out to lick the shell of your ear. His body pressed completely against yours. You could not get any closer if you tried.

“I’m gonna fuck you now,” Daniel crooned.

Before you could respond, he turned you around and had you bent over the counter. The chill of the countertop leaching through your thin shirt. An enticing contrast to your heated skin. He pushed your shirt up over your hips, where it gathered around your waist. You heard the sound of his zipper sliding down then you felt the head of his cock rub against your wet pussy. Pleasure spread over your body like wildfire as Daniel’s cock caught your clit as he covered himself in your release. Thankfully, he only teased you for a couple of seconds. Then he was pressing deep inside of you.

“Fuck,” he moaned as you echoed his sentiment.

His grip on your hips tightened as he pulled back out and slowly fucked back into you. Somehow fucking you at a much slower pace than he fingered you. You needed more. You pushed back against him as he fucked into you. The sound of your skin slapping together reverberated in the space. Daniel leaned down and whispered dirty things to you as he increased his pace. Telling you how beautiful you are when you take his cock, and how your pussy was made for him, that you were his and only his. Your cunt squeezed around his hard cock in response, causing his hips to stutter, and a groan fell from his lips. You could tell that he was getting close, that he was selfishly chasing his orgasm, which you didn’t mind. You were there for him to use. You were there to please him. You were his. Though you were back on the edge yourself. His dick relentlessly pressed against your g-spot. A knot began to form in your stomach. You reached a hand in between your legs, and you rubbed your clit as Daniel continued to thrust into you.

“I’m going to come again,” you moaned.

“Fuck, baby girl. Come for me, come with me,” Daniel panted.

It was with a couple more thrusts that you forcefully came all over his cock. Your juices squirted down your legs and hit the floor, soaking the front of Daniel's pants that he was still wearing. Seeing you release all over him was enough to set Daniel off. He fucked his cock balls-deep into you, filling you to the hilt while he pumped his cum in you. Thick ropes of his cum coating your drenched walls. His fingernails bite into the soft flesh of your hips, and your name repeatedly gasps from his lips. As he slowly came down from his orgasm, Daniel shallowly fucked into you before slowly pulling out of you. Immediately missing the stretch of him filling you up, your pussy clenched around nothing as Daniel’s cum slid out from inside of you, mingling with your juices. Daniel was quick to catch it with his fingers and forced it back into your cunt. You whined as he did so, still sensitive. He bent down to pick up your discarded underwear from the floor and had you step into them.

He turned you around and pressed a kiss to your temple before whispering, “We don’t want any of that to leak out.”

He lightly patted your pussy, laughing to himself. You leaned up to kiss him. As your lips met his, the alarm for dinner went off, scaring you both. You laughed.

“I guess it is time for dinner,” you said as you moved out of your lover’s arms.

Daniel licked his lips, “Lucky me, I got to have my dessert before dinner.”

You groaned at his remark as you bent to open the oven door.

Daniel laughed, one of those genuine trademark Daniel Ricciardo laughs as he smacked your ass and exited the kitchen to change before eating.

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fic #f1 smut #f1 imagine

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mantizimus · 8 months

Note

So could you do a oneshot for the avatar gang meeting Male Reader who's aangs older brother who fights with air differently like making air constructs weapons maybe they see him get surrounded by Fire nation troops and he just takes the air out their lungs and drawing them closer to him then releasing the air outward blowing them away knocking them out as for why his still alive and young he went to look for aang but couldn't then a spirit blessed him to live longer

Hello. Sorry, it's not exactly how you wanted, but I hope that you still enjoy it.

Older Brother

Gaang

Toph was the first to hear the noise of the fight and immediately told her friends about it. Heading towards the sounds, they tried to move as quickly as possible to make it on time. However, what they saw shocked them. Almost all the fighters were firebenders, which was quite expected. The same, unfortunately, could not be said about their opponent. That was young man, about two years older than Aang, who used airbending, and created constructions out of thin air. "I thought Aang was the last airbender," Katara whispered, puzzled. “Looks like we jumped to conclusions,” Sokka, no less surprised, answered her. Aang didn't take his eyes off the only airbender. For some strange reason, it seemed painfully familiar to him. Unexpectedly, he accidentally turned to face them in profile, and the Avatar felt his heart stop. "Brother?" he asked, causing Katara and Sokka to look at him with even more shocked looks. "You never said you had a brother," Toph answered for them. “I thought he died long ago along with the rest of the Air Nomads,” he explained, getting up and rushing towards the fighters, preparing to attack, “We have to help him!” his friends did not have to wait long. Soon the firebenders were neutralized. "Aang?" young man whispered in disbelief, looking at the Avatar. "Yes," Aang replied in the same tone, barely restraining the urge to lunge forward and embrace his long-lost relative. For about a couple of minutes neither of them moved. Finally, the Avatar's older brother couldn't stand it anymore, he ran up to Aang and hugged him. "I missed you," he said, patting his little brother on the back. "I missed you too," Aang replied, happy to see him, "How did you survive?" “I don’t know,” older brother honestly admitted, “The last thing I remember is falling into the water, and then some strange glow,” breaking the hug, young man turned his look to the trio heading towards him, “Who are these?” “These are my friends,” explained Avatar, “Come on, I’ll introduce you!” --- “You have good friends,” you said, causing Aang to flinch in surprise and turn to you. You spent the evening around the fire and discussed various things, including your travels. “I know,” your little brother replied, leaning against you, “Honestly, if it weren’t for Toph, it’s not like we would have met.” "Was she always blind?" you asked carefully, trying to sound as quiet as possible, knowing that this would most likely be a sore subject. “Always,” the earthbender muttered dryly, moving a little closer to the fire. “Sorry,” you apologized, lowering your head. "It's not big deal," she waved it off. There was an awkward silence for about a minute. “Listen,” the Avatar said, making you look at him, “Can you teach me how to create those designs?” “Of course I’ll teach you,” you smiled, lightly patting your brother on the head. "Wonderful! When do we start training?" "Let's start tomorrow." "Fine."

#atla #atla x reader #avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender x reader #the gaang #the gaang x reader #aang #aang x reader #katara #katara x reader #sokka #sokka x reader #toph beifong #toph beifong x reader

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dontloooknow · 3 months

Text

hungry, lonely, violent

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Days, months, years you spent hungry, yearning. How can a simple two weeks change what's been your life since the outbreak happened? How can one man mend the shattered pieces you never thought could be put back together? How can Joel Miller be that man?

Tags: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Caregiving, Recovery, Healing, Trauma, Oral Sex, Creampie, Size Kink, Size Difference, Older Man/Younger Woman, Hurt/Comfort, Porn with Feelings, No use of y/n, Protective Joel

Word count: 22k

Read on ao3

The sunset is a blaze of orange over Jackson, Wyoming.

You’ve been all over the country at this point, a nomad by choice, who escaped the Atlanta QZ as soon as you had the ability and supplies to do so. There have been rumors of a safe place, a town out west where people live in a harmonious peace behind sealed walls. No infected breaking in, no raiders to rob you or do worse. No corrupt FEDRA agents to gun you down for looking at them funny.

As it turns out, it’s a lot fucking harder to find a place like that, than it is to imagine it.

You know you’re close; you saw the Welcome to Wyoming sign days ago. Your best guideline is an out of date map that you’d killed a handsy FEDRA guard for. It’s gotten you this far though, so you can’t be too frustrated.

Of course, it’d be nice if it wasn’t the dead of fucking winter, but you’ve never really had the best luck.

You know you don’t have long before you need to give up on this insane venture. No one ever actually believed the talk about somewhere safe hidden in the mountains; somewhere that life was meant to be lived and not merely endured. Somewhere that a person could feel like a person again, by way of basic dignity and small decencies.

You can almost feel it now, if you close your eyes and let yourself imagine. The steam of a hot shower; water beating down on sore muscles, wet hair plastered down your back as soap bubbles cascade across slick skin. A mug of coffee, or tea, hell you’d even take hot chocolate at this point. Something to soothe the coldness of your palms; something to warm your throat and belly. The crackle of a fireplace underneath a mantle; hardwood floors, a rug nestled underneath a sofa.

You were so young when the outbreak happened that you’ve never really gotten to experience these things. But you know them well. Stories from your parents, wishful tales of a life once lived in comfort and peace. An expanse of opportunity, safety to explore, create, enjoy.

In a world like that, there’s room for all sorts of things you haven’t been able to have. What’s always been a quick meal of ration blocks scarfed down in a hurry, could be a slow-cooking stew, complete with fluffy bread and a glass of clean water with ice. Maybe even a wedge of lemon for flavor, if you’re lucky. A slice of hot pie for dessert, an unneeded expense of greed and hunger, nothing beneficial for your health really except to make you happy. Socks without holes, pants without inner thighs so worn you can feel your cold skin chafing between them.

In a world like that, there’s room for things like delicacies. Things like…romance.

You have no illusions that this could ever be your future. Since you lost your family, things like safety and stability have been mere fantasy. You can’t remember what a home cooked meal might taste like, or a hug from someone who genuinely cares about you. The men and women you’ve been with have all been quick, dirty fucks, going through the motions to make eachother cum and breathe hollow noises of pleasure that are more for show than anything.

In a different world, maybe it could all mean something.

You take quick stock of your rations. A half-empty water bottle with a screw-on filter that’s quickly becoming unusable from strain. A can of green beans. A small pack of bandages that have lost most of their adhesive strength from time. One pair of underwear that’s hanging off your pack, wet from a wash in the creek. There’s nothing worse than going commando in sub-zero temperatures, but it’s a necessary evil for hygiene.

From your place currently hiding out in an abandoned gas station nestled in the mountains of what surely used to be some sort of thriving backwoods community, any hope of that fantastical world really does feel out of reach. For most of your life it felt that if dreams were enough to keep you alive, you’d surely be immortal. But lately, that negligent bit of hope is starting to seem like the flicker of a candle about to blow out.

And it’s funny, for someone who claims to have given up hope, how quickly you jump into gear when you hear heavy footsteps behind you. Your hands fumble; cold and nearly frozen from the frigid temperatures outside, clasping the grip on your gun. You only have a half-mag left, and with your hands as shaky as they are from the weather, you aren’t feeling confident about your ability to aim as well as needed to make that half-mag worthwhile.

Still, you have little other choice. In your condition, a hand-to-hand fight would be your undoing.

“I hear someone in there, breathing,” a gruff voice says. It’s low and careful, a slow southern drawl that you recognize as Texan, most likely. You met a few of them in the Atlanta QZ, and they all had this gentle drawl to them, the same way this man does.

It would be almost a calm, reassuring sound, if his proximity didn’t surely mean imminent death for you.

“A runner?” another voice asks, this one is younger. A man, or a boy maybe, a teenager.

Fuck. You’re outnumbered, even if these are the only two out here. You’re outnumbered by two men. You’re hungry, and half-frozen, and struggling to think of what to do next. It’s like your brain isn’t functioning at full capacity. Who could blame it, with the months of neglect on the road? When was the last time you even had fucking protein?

You try to listen, try to hone your ears to follow the footsteps of the man coming toward you. Surely he knows where you’re hiding, if he heard you breathing and assumed you were an ill infected. You must really sound like shit. You sort of knew that your lungs had a rattle from the cold and your nose was sniffly, but clearly it's worse than you thought.

Okay, okay, think. What can I-

Your train of thought is immediately interrupted by a large, thick arm circling around your neck from behind. You gasp as your body is wrenched into the air, a sturdy mountain of a man behind you. In your panic, you drop your gun and reach for his massive forearm, trying to pry it off your neck as your vision begins to go fuzzy.

Holy fuck, you’re going to die at the hands of some random Texas giant in this abandoned gas station.

“Shit, Joel, she’s not infected!”

“Wh- Christ!”

In a flat second, you’re on the floor, coughing and gasping as you clutch at your neck, trying to fill your icy lungs with desperate air. The floor is more like concrete, and with the layer of ice spread across it, there’s damn near no cushion for your fall.

The large man reaches out, you can hear his jacket shuffle and his body move, but you scramble away, reaching frantically for your gun.

The other one, the younger boy, comes into focus and reaches out to pluck up your gun before you can even make an honest grab for it.

“Hey, we aren’t gonna hurt you,” the boy says, looking down at you earnestly. It’s big talk from the teenager holding a revolver on you, but his eyes are genuine enough. “I’m sorry we scared you. We thought-”

Your vision whites out as you feel a large hand grab your arm. The big man, the giant Texan has grabbed your bicep and is trying to pull you up. Pure instinct takes over; reflex causing you to lash out with your free arm.

Your knife makes a decent slash in the skin of his hand, and he pulls back with a shouted curse of pain.

“Whoa whoa!” the boy tries again for a calming tone, still attempting some sort of diplomacy.

Ignoring his pathetic excuse for a ceasefire, you launch yourself at the large man, wielding your knife like it’s your last chance.

With him momentarily disoriented, it’s easy to hop on his back, effectively putting his body between yours and the boy with the gun as a human shield. And a gigantic one, at that. His shoulders are stocky, easy handholds for you as you settle your legs around his large waist. You press the tip of your knife against his throat, feeling the vibrations of his grunted breaths against your thumb bone.

This close, you can smell a soft aroma of lemon soap wafting off his wavy hair. It’s dark with streaks of silver dancing down through the ends, matching a well-groomed beard on his jaw. His jacket is thick brown leather, it looks heavy and surely adds bulk to an already impressively large man.

“Walk out, now!” You warn the boy with the gun, still pressing the blade into the man’s throat. “I won’t kill him if you leave me alone.”

You think it’s a pretty fucking generous offer, considering this giant just tried to choke you out.

The boy glances at the man, sighing. He shakes his head, holstering his gun. “Joel, just be gentle.”

Frowning, you look between them in confusion.

The man, whose name must be Joel, chuckles dryly. It’s a nice sound, a steady reverberation through his chest. In another circumstance, you think it might be a soothing noise. One of those laughs from a person who seems like they know the answer to every question, who's figured everything out. Someone who’d take care of you.

Then, he grabs your wrist so hard you feel bone press into flesh, wrenches the knife away from his throat as if you’re no more than a pesky mosquito, and flips your body over his shoulder.

Being effectively yeeted into a frozen concrete floor by a man three times your size would most certainly be a death sentence.

You feel the wind rush out of your lungs, the world spin upside down, and you’re preparing to hear a deafening crack of your skull against the hard ground.

Before the impact radiates through your body though, you realize he’s slowed your momentum by sliding an arm around your lower back, stopping you just before your body would’ve crashed into the floor. He kneels forward, holding you just above the ice, and you get a good look at his face.

It doesn’t feel like the right time to be thinking this, and you hate yourself a tiny bit, but he’s really fucking handsome. His nose is large and stately, his eyes framed by thick, dark lashes that brush his cheekbones, eyebrows pulled together so his forehead scrunches up. There are lines of age on his face, flecks of gray in his beard, yet the flush to his tanned skin and the light in his gaze tells you he’s in tiptop shape. This is a man who eats well, eats often, and probably isn’t sleeping on the hard ground every night as you’ve been for weeks.

Considering he just tossed you over his shoulder like a tiny bag of flour, this isn’t particularly surprising.

“If you’d quit tryin’ to kill me, little miss, then maybe we can have a conversation.”

With a growl of anger, you swing your fist. He catches your wrist in his hand so easily it’s humiliating, and gives you a disapproving look.

“We ain’t gonna hurt ya’,” he continues, “stop swingin’ on me.”

“We should take her back to town,” the boy says, still standing beside the two of you a little awkwardly, “she’s not well.”

At that, you pause, something icy running into your veins. You’ve run into more than enough fucked up little “towns” on your trip west. They always ended up trying to kill you or indoctrinate you into some demented cult ideals. You’ve fought your way out of more than enough situations like this to know that if you don’t escape now, it’s not going to end well.

You’re unarmed, you’re starved, you’re half-frozen, and the man above you is so large you swear you could strap a pair of reins to his shoulders and have him pull a carriage.

In so many words, you’re fucked.

“Get the fuck off me!” you snarl, wriggling in his grasp and trying to free yourself.

“Alright.” The man releases you and you hit the cold ground, a surprised noise of pain slipping from your mouth as your head smashes into the ice.

“Jesus Joel,” the boy says.

“She told me to!”

This is your chance. You just need to get to your feet and run. Fuck the gun and the knife, you’ll find new ones. You’ve been without your supplies before. You can figure it out. You just have to get up.

An attempt to move into a sitting position proves futile, as your vision begins to swim and your head throbs. Your hands fumble weakly for purchase at your sides, but the ice is too slick to find a solid grasp.

“I think she’s gotta concussion,” the man, Joel, muses nonchalantly.

“I think she’s got a lot going on,” the boy replies, “should we put her on a horse? Seems like she wants to be left alone.”

“Ain’t the policy that we bring back injured travelers?” Joel asks.

“Yeah, but normally they don’t…resist this much, right?”

Joel hums thoughtfully. “Normally they ain’t women all by themselves surrounded by two strange men.”

“I guess not.”

“Let’s get her on a horse. Once she realizes she’s safe, maybe she’ll quit the murderin’ shit.”

“What if she comes to and tries to kill you again?” the boy worries.

At this, Joel chuckles again. “If she manages to kill me on the back of a horse with no weapon, then I goddamn deserve it, kid.”

“Is this how all patrols are?”

“Nah. They usually ain’t this exciting.” Joel leans over you then, and you smell the lemon soap and a faint whiff of pine oil. “Hey there, you with us?”

“No,” you groan, though you’re not actually sure what you’re responding to.

“Listen, m’gonna have to pick you up and put you on a horse. Try not to gouge my eyes out. Think you can manage that?”

“No,” you repeat sourly.

“Excellent. You ever been on a horse before?”

“No.”

He exhales. “You say anything else?”

“No.”

“Alright then. When we get you up, just hold on to my waist, don’t let go or you’re gonna go flyin’ and that won’t be good for neither of us. You hear? No ain’t an option.”

You narrow your eyes which does nothing to help your already blurry vision. You feel your consciousness slowly starting to slip away on a delicate string, at a great danger of snapping and disappearing in the distance.

“I think she bonked her head,” the boy says when you don’t reply.

“Good observation, son.” With that, Joel reaches for you. You tell your muscles to resist, to fight back, but they frustratingly don’t move.

He slides his arms underneath your prone form and lifts as if you weigh no more than a backpack. Surprisingly, his touch is gentle rather than rough as you’d expected. He moves slowly, gradually pulling your body into a sitting position. Your head spins and you let out an involuntary noise of pain.

“M’sorry honey,” he murmurs, “you got your bell rung, that’s for sure.”

“I don’t carry a bell,” you manage a weak reply.

He chuckles again, and you feel yourself being hoisted up. After a moment of adjusting, you’re lying in his arms bridal style, thick forearms underneath your body. He grips your thighs to keep you in place, shifting you upward to preserve the momentum as he gets back to his feet with a slight huff of effort.

“Do you need help?” the boy asks, hovering.

“Nah, she don’t weigh more than one of them kitchen chairs in the mess hall. Just grab her stuff, m’sure she’ll be askin’ after it when she’s up and running.”

“Okay, okay got it. You want me to lead?”

“Yeah, go ahead. Thanks Jesse.”

“Sure thing.”

You’re moving then, you think. The world shifts around you, and your head lulls to the side, pressing into a coat. You shudder once, and find yourself transfixed on the even breathing of the man holding you.

“Cold?” he asks gruffly, and then sighs as if that’s a stupid question. “Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“Help me with this.”

There’s movement, and your body is shuffled a bit, before someone drapes a thick weight over you, wrapping you up like a burrito in what appears to be a giant leather jacket. It smells of lemon and pine oil, the scent wafting off it with each movement.

You’re confused, disoriented and overwhelmed. The weight of the jacket around you is enough to soothe the cold for now, even as you feel shuffling and adjusting and find your legs slung around the thick flank of a horse.

“Hold on tight,” says Joel.

What other choice do you have?

———-

Somewhere between the gas station and here, you passed out.

It shouldn’t surprise you, given the state you were in. It only makes sense your body would give up in some way. Obviously you wish it hadn’t been while you were pressed up against the large, broad back of a grouchy old Texan, but as you said you’ve never had the best luck.

When you come to, you’re supine on a couch. It’s odd though, because from first glance, the thing isn’t musty and dusty like they usually are. It’s soft, squishy, and smells clean. There’s a blanket draped over you, some sort of fuzzy wool that keeps your limbs warm. It’s heavy too, the weight of it soothing. A crackling sound alerts your gaze to a mantle with a fireplace underneath, heat flickering off the orange licks of flames, well contained in the brick casing. Atop the mantle are framed photos, a girl with choppy hair and freckles on a horse, the man, Joel, at her side, smiling.

It’s an odd expression on him, you think. Although handsome, it’s surprising to see the gruff man look so at ease, so happy. From your brief interaction in the gas station, you’d come to gather he’s a no-nonsense, quick-to-choke asshole.

Not unlike yourself, really.

And if there are photos of him and what looks to be his daughter, or a teenaged relative maybe, on this mantle, that means you’re in his house. That means you’re in grave danger.

Though...you are seemingly fine, wrapped in a blanket by the fireplace, clothing intact on your body. Beside you on an end table is a lamp, a glass of tepid water, and a few leaves of unfamiliar greens.

You move to sit up, pressing your hands against your thighs in search of any of your weapons. Nothing. Your pack is gone too.

As you adjust, you find that your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton, tongue swollen and dry. Your throat is aching, desperate for water. You run your fingers along the arm of the sofa, eyeing the glass of water longingly.

What if he’s done something to it?

Before you can decide if it’s worth the risk, footsteps pad in behind you, and you whip around to see him entering the room. You stumble off the couch, legs wobbling, knees threatening to give out as you try to stand your ground.

“Easy,” Joel says in that slow drawl, “you’re alright, little miss. You’re safe.”

Your hands clench into fists. As if you’re stupid enough to believe him.

“You know where you are?” he asks, like he thinks you won’t know.

For a moment, you fumble. Where...are you? You know it’s snowing outside the windows of this little, quiet house. You know you came from Atlanta. You know you found yourself a little turned around in the backwoods of somewhere in Wyoming.

“Wyoming,” you say, forcing the word to come out assuredly, even as your voice cracks around it like a frail twig under a boot.

He nods once. “Good. You’re in Jackson. You hit your head and it seemed like you haven’t had a real meal in a while. We brought you back to get you feelin’ better. You passed out on the way.”

Blinking, you take stock of the room around you. You’re in Joel’s house, in Jackson. Can it really be true? Have you really found it? The place where life can be lived peacefully amidst the horrors outside the wall?

“It’s real?” you find yourself asking. The crackling fireplace and framed photos seem evidence enough of a more content lifestyle than anywhere you’ve ever lived.

Again, he nods. “You’ve heard of it?”

“Just stories,” you admit, “didn’t believe them.”

“It’d be hard to,” he agrees gruffly.

You allow yourself a moment to look him over. Here in his home, he’s shed his winter layers in favor of a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with an unbuttoned flannel over the top. His hair is tousled from the wind, gray-lined dark curls framing his face. His shoulders, just as big as you remember noticing, fill out the fabric of his flannel so well it’s a little hard to look away. A quick scan of his body does little to reassure you of any chance you have to fight back if this goes sour. He’s large; his chest thick, thighs sturdy in his jeans, a faint outline of a comfortable belly underneath his shirt. You can see a cropping of dark hair just poking out of his shirt collar and the ends of his sleeves. He’s rugged in every sense of the word. Rugged, and huge.

“I left you some water there,” he gestures vaguely to the end table, “some mint leaves to chew on, sometimes they help when I gotta headache. I dunno. Just in case. They didn’t have anywhere to put you yet, and the infirmary was pretty overrun so they-”

“What are you going to do to me?” you find yourself asking, hating the hollow note of fear in your words.

Joel pauses, hands on his hips, eyebrows screwed together. “Do to you?”

In lieu of a reply, you just nod warily.

It takes him a moment, you think, to register what you’re implying. When it hits him, his shoulders deflate, and his expression heaves into one of displeasure. He clenches and unclenches his fists before he speaks.

“You’re safe,” he says again, voice even and composed despite the clear discomfort on his face. “I ain’t gonna hurt you. Once they find somewhere else to put you, we’ll get you comfortable. But for now, if it’ll make you feel better.” He moves toward you, reaching for the waistband of his jeans.

Reflexively, you stumble backward, putting distance between the two of you. Your legs betray you, and you find yourself leaning against a table by the window with little wood carvings to stay upright. He halts instantly, expression neutral.

“I was just gonna give you this.” He removes your gun from his waistband, presenting it matter-of-factly. “Loaded the mag for you. Don’t shoot me.”

With that, he sets it on the end table by the couch, halfway between the two of you, and steps back.

“You got no reason to kill me,” he says, “I got no reason to hurt you. I wouldn’t. Ever. So take it. But I’d prefer not to have any extra holes by the time you leave.”

You swallow noisily, eyes tracing the line toward the gun. It rests neatly beside the water and mint leaves, his gifts to you, comfort and safety all in one little package on the end table.

Unsure of what to say, you slowly move toward the end table, picking up the gun. Hesitantly, you pull back the slide and see a round in the chamber. Then, you pop the mag out and see that he wasn’t lying. It’s fully loaded.

You eye him warily as you tuck the gun into your own waistband, safety on. “Thanks?”

“Don’t shoot me,” he repeats sternly.

“Don’t give me a reason to,” you warn him.

At this, he scoffs. “Lady, if I wanted to kill you, I woulda done it with my arm around your neck.”

Your eyes narrow. “I never said you wanted to kill me.”

His nose wrinkles at that, eyes going dark. “You don’t have to worry about that. Listen, I’ll stay outta your hair. But they want me to get you healthy before you get set up on your own here. So-”

“Wait, before what?”

Another sigh, like he’s exasperated. “You’ll get assigned a house and eventually work duties and patrol schedules. They’ll go over all that with you. I’m just the middle man here.”

You’re shaking your head before he’s even done speaking. “Who fucking decided that for me?”

His eyebrow arches. “Ain’t that why you’re out here?”

Torn, you struggle to think of a reply. It actually is exactly why you’re out here, but you’re confused and suspicious at the easy welcome and acceptance of another mouth to feed, another burden on the resources. You don’t even know if he’s telling the truth. Maybe you’re not even in Jackson. Maybe this is some fucked up murder cabin and he’s playing you like a fiddle.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” You demand, fingers itching to reach for the gun now that it’s safely holstered away.

Joel gestures to the front door. “Be my fuckin’ guest.”

Reluctantly taking your eyes off of him, you push off the table and move for the front entryway. You brush by him briskly, annoyed when he doesn’t move out of the way. Your shoulder nudges into his arm, and you’re struck by how thick and immovable he feels beside your feeble frame.

You hate it. It would be so effortless to overpower you.

You dislike having him in your rearview, but you move toward the line of windows that overlook the front lawn.

Your eyes take in a sight you could’ve only ever imagined. Snow-lined streets, little shops and markets with pleasant looking customers milling about. People with horses, waving to each other. Children running in the street and laughing loudly while gentle adults corral them back onto shoveled sidewalks. No FEDRA guards shouting about work duty or drills, no bomb warning sirens, no distant roar of infected outside the gates.

No weapons, no shouting or robbery, no children sobbing in the snow from hunger. Everything that had ever felt unattainable, apparently just outside your window.

In utter disbelief, you slowly turn back to Joel, who’s watching you with mild interest.

“Wow,” is all you can manage.

“Yeah, you found the promised land and all that.” He shrugs. “Now they said they oughta have somewhere for you to stay on your own by end of week, provided you’re physically up for it. You’d better start with some water, kid.”

You glance at the glass on the end table, ruminating on the possibility of it being laced with something.

“For Christ's sake.” Joel marches toward the glass, takes a few huge gulps, and then holds it out to you. “Where the fuck would I even get somethin’ like that?”

He has to know that these days finding drugs to crush up and ingest is infinitely easier than finding food. Or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe living here has made a soft, ignorant man of him. Maybe he always has been.

You’re suddenly so angry. All of the years you’ve suffered, your family dying, FEDRA raids and Firefly bombings and attacks from hordes of infected.

And here he is. Sitting by the fire, framed photographs smiling back at him, mint leaves between his teeth for a mild ailment.

It’s so unfair.

“You guys are pretty selfish, you know.” You ignore his outstretched hand with the water. “Keeping all this a secret. Keeping it for yourselves while the rest of us struggle.”

Joel rolls his eyes, and the flippant gesture is enough to make your teeth grind together. “Ah. We’re doin’ this? You wanna leave, go. Ain’t nobody holding you hostage.”

What are you doing? Your brain is screaming at you desperately. This is what you wanted. This is why you came. You’ve found it.

You hadn’t realized what it would mean, actually seeing this oasis. Actually feeling the warmth of a fireplace and the soft fabric of a clean couch. Having mint leaves and bullets a plenty. How could you have ever expected the gaping hole it would punch through your chest, seeing what you could’ve had all these years, laid out in front of you like a decadent buffet. What your family could’ve had.

What this man, Joel, is trying to offer you.

“It isn’t fair,” you manage weakly, talking to no one in particular, eyes searching around the organized decor. “It isn’t fair.”

“I know,” is all you get in reply.

You move away from the window, not exactly sure where you plan to go, but overwhelmed. Finally, your weak knees do give out, and you pitch forward.

Your arms shoot out to catch yourself, but as it turns out, you don’t need them to. Strong hands grip you under the armpits, pulling upward until your legs straighten out. You stumble into a big, warm chest, and Joel grumbles something you don’t catch under his breath.

“Easy,” he murmurs, “gonna get you back to the couch.”

You’re too overcome to argue, though it is your first instinct. You allow him to lead your trembling body toward the sofa, jellylike legs carrying you only as his strength pulls them along.

He slots you between two couch cushions, and you sink down in the fabric. Then, he picks up the water he’d set down in his hurry to catch you, and holds it out.

“This would be a start,” he says earnestly.

In shaky hands, you bring the glass to your lips, sipping delicately. The water is room temperature, somewhat warmed by the heat of the fire. It goes down your throat, soothing the ache there with much needed droplets of hydration. You finish the glass in record time, and before you can blink, Joel’s taken it from you. Your arm reaches forward pathetically, a plea to keep the glass as if you could suck the remaining moisture out from the bottom.

“Hold on,” he says, but there’s no note of impatience or annoyance in the words. He leaves the room and returns a moment later with a glass full to the brim.

Eagerly, you take it from his hands, too lost in the euphoria of fresh, clean water to consider the possibility of the first one being a trick. He’s got you comfortable. Now, he can do whatever he wants.

You hadn’t realized how thirsty you were until the pain was soothed.

It’s a funny thing, longing. You get so used to it that you start to grow numb. You yearn for something long enough, eventually you don’t feel like yourself without it. Hunger, thirst, pining, it’s all a part of who you are. Fulfilled, sated, you wouldn’t know who to be or how to move forward.

Still, you finish the glass as quickly as the first.

“Better?” Joel asks, his voice lacking warmth but not particularly unpleasant.

You nod hesitantly.

“How’s your head?”

You touch your fingers to the back of your head, roving the pads across your tangled hair. You feel no bump, no cuts, nothing more than a rats nest of unbrushed locks.

“Fine,” you say, though it does hurt. You’re sure it’s nothing serious, but you definitely gave it a good bump.

“You feel like eatin’?” He asks, and the prospect of food is enough to make your chapped lips feel wet with salivation.

“You have food,” you tell him, more of a statement than a question.

Quizzically, he nods. “Uh, yeah.”

“Real food?”

“I got some venison in the freezer,” he says, “and some broccoli.”

“In a can?”

His expression softens marginally. “No.”

Fuck. Real fresh vegetables?

“Tell you what.” Joel cracks his knuckles loudly. “You go on up and take a shower, get yourself sorted. I’ll get started on some grub. ‘Bout dinner time anyway. Then maybe we can get you healthy enough to get outta my hair. How’s that sound?”

“Okay,” is all you can think to say, surprisingly amicable. In your defense, it’s been a while since someone offered you a hot meal and a shower. And you do have your gun...just in case.

Joel holds a hand out, and despite every instinct in your body begging you not to take it, you slip your palm into his. His hand is warm, calloused from exposure and rough on the pads of his palm, but there’s something familiar about his hold. It’s oddly comforting. It feels like a hand that knows hard work, not unlike your own, which you’re sure are twice as rough right now.

He offers you a small, barely perceptible smile before he releases your hand and says, “second door on the right.”

Then, he heads into the kitchen.

If you wanted to, you could quietly sneak in behind him, gun drawn, and put a bullet in his head. Right now, it would be so easy. He’s foolishly left you to your own devices in his home with a loaded gun. Who could blame you for second-guessing his motives and intentions?

But he’s also offering you a meal, a hot shower, the prospect of a life. And you’d come a very long way to find him. To find this, you mean.

You lean down and grab a mint leaf, sticking it between your teeth to chew as you ascend the stairs with a careful hand on the railing. It’s surprisingly tasty, the leaf, though it has a bite of burn that stings your tongue in an unfamiliar way. You press it between your teeth and tongue, feeling the sharp sting of the mint and breathing in the relief. You aren’t sure why, maybe it’s all in your head, but it feels like it is soothing your pain.

Your fingers trail along the wooden banister. It’s clean, well dusted, organized. There’s traces of life here, in the haphazard way his boots are strewn by the door, in the crumple of towels on the floor in the corner of the laundry room you pass by, in the photographs on walls and more tables. That girl with the freckles and choppy hair is all over his life, alongside a man with a beard and scrappy bun. A brother maybe? You can’t tell, but what’s clear in the multitude of photos is that Joel likes to keep his loved ones close. He likes tangible memories, reminders of those he cares for.

You find yourself in a large bathroom standing in front of a shower with a pastel yellow curtain. You grip the material in your fingers, pulling back on the curtain, enamored with the way it glides back and forth on the rod. The closest thing you had to this in the QZ was water boiled and poured into a tub for bathing. On the road, it was a nice cold creek when you could find it.

Curiously, you slide your fingers down the wall until they bump into a strange knob, delicate rounded designs poking out of the glossy finish. To the right, a little blue circle, to the left a little red one. You deduce they indicate the temperature of the water, and twist the knob until it’s halfway in between.

The water shoots forward out of a head at the top of the wall, spraying you in the face. You splutter, pulling back and coughing water out of your nose and throat. It’s a powerful stream, the droplets hitting your face with a velocity you hadn’t expected. You know the currents of lakes, oceans and creeks can be unpredictable. Waves are something otherworldly, a force to be reckoned with, never tempted.

You had no idea something so small could be so powerful.

You check once more that the door is locked, then you peel off your tattered jacket and undershirt. Your bra is barely held together by a stitch you keep doing and undoing in the back. The clasp broke a year ago. You slide your old jeans down your legs, face blooming red when you remember that your underwear was hooked onto the back of your bag to dry after a wash.

Where is it? Did they leave it in the gas station? It was your only pair.

Somehow worse...does Joel...have it?

Hesitantly, you step over the ledge of the tub into the stream of water, surprised at the feeling of the droplets crashing into your skin. It hurts a little, the pressure at which the water shoots out at you.

For a moment, you languish under the stream of water, feeling dirt and muck slide off your skin. It feels like you’ve been encased in a layer of grime for so long, you’ve almost forgotten what clean feels like. Though, you’ve never been clean like this.

You see a little sponge in a rack on the wall, and grab for it. There’s a bar of soap beside it, and you take that too, sudsing up the sponge as much as possible. It smells like lemon, the same faint aroma you’d noticed on Joel.

Then, it strikes you that this must be the sponge he washes his own body with.

You hesitate. Surely this violates some sort of acceptable hygiene norm. But also, your hand’s not gonna do the job. And you’d only be dirtying up his soap if you used that on its own.

In a confused moment of transfixion, you squeeze the sponge between your fingers, running the pad of your thumb over its gristly base. It wafts lemon, that enticing smell that Joel carries with him from a good wash in the morning.

You know it’s odd, and certainly not the time to be having these thoughts, but it’s a little distracting that this is his sponge. The same one he rubs all over himself when he’s naked, when the water is drizzling down his thick body, his sturdy chest and his soft stomach and the unmovable width of his thighs. You imagine he must like the way it feels after a long day, hot water sizzling on his skin, the sharp edge of a sponge cutting through dirt on his body, the smell of lemon in his nose and lingering on him.

You douse the sponge in lemon soup, and carefully slide it down your arm. The feeling makes you shudder; the rough texture of the sponge grating down your filthy skin. The sponge that Joel rubs on himself. The sponge that’s nestled itself between the bulging muscles of his chest, down the lines of his abdomen, all over his large arms. Down further...between his legs, maybe.

It’s been so long since you thought about a man this way; since you thought about anyone this way. On the road, there was no time for luxuries like sexual fantasy.

But now, safe and comfortable beneath a thick and steady steam of hot water, you allow your mind to wander a bit.

How thorough must Joel be, when he washes himself with this rough little sponge? To smell as good as he does even in the midst of a fight, even with adrenaline pumping, testosterone brewing, sweat surely slickening his underarms and legs. Still, he wafts pleasant aromas, the kind that make you lean into him, rather than pull away.

He must touch himself often, in depth. He must scrub the soap in between places on his large body that only he can see, only he can touch. Dripping little droplets of sweet-scented soap on to parts of him that would be so difficult to get to, unless he were naked in front of you.

Your fist clenches tightly around the sponge, expelling a myriad of soapy bubbles that drip down your legs into the drain. You blink, shaking your head, trying to come back down from those inappropriate thoughts.

Jesus. It’s really been too long. You’re gonna have to figure out something to do about that before you find yourself biting into this lemon-scented sponge.

Get a grip, you tell yourself. You have one hot shower and all of a sudden you’re ready and willing for the first person who will have you?

You’re sure it won’t be Joel, gruff and solitary as he seems, but maybe someone in this little safe haven is interested in relieving this ache.

Though, you’re no stranger to longing. It’s not as if you can’t take care of yourself.

Right now, you focus on washing. You scrub every inch of your body, including between your toes and in your belly button. You fight the layers of grime and grit until your skin is rubbed raw and red. Then, you take the syrupy bottle of liquid that’s labeled in marker “shampoo” and drench the crown of your head with it.

Scrubbing your hair takes more energy than you can expend. By the time the bubbles are rinsing down your back, your vision is swimming and you’re seeing black spots at the corner of your eyes. Your legs wobble, and you press a hand flat against the wall to steady yourself.

How long have you been in here?

Instead of tipping over and falling out onto the bathroom floor like an idiot, you slowly lower yourself to the shower floor. The tile is hot underneath your legs, and you realize you’ve turned the water all the way to the little red circle.

It burns, droplets of acid shooting into your skin like knives. It’s so hot, hotter water than you’ve ever felt cascading over your body. It burns nicely, melting away the road like you’re shedding skin to grow anew. The steam fills your nostrils, and you take a big breath, your lungs still rattly and weak from the cold outside, but soothed slightly by the thick warmth in here.

You lose track of everything on the shower floor. The water is so hot, the smell is so sweet, the confines of the tub feel safe and secluded. The door has a lock, the shower has a curtain, each sliver of a barrier between you and everyone else feels like more security than you’ve had in months. Or maybe ever.

Your knees press against the sides of the tub, knobby and thin, too sickly for anyone to desire. You don’t like the body you’re in, don’t like that you were mistaken for an infected today, don’t like that you’re more survival than person at this point.

And you can’t help but wonder, Jackson, Joel, this life here, would it be enough to change that? He says he can get you healthy, you can get your own place, a home. If you do as he says, follow his lead, can he really make that happen?

A place where you could lock the doors whenever you want. A place where you didn’t have to keep a loaded gun on you to feel safe. A place where you could drink the water without worrying it’s been spiked or it’s unsuitable. A life, a home, something meaningful.

All you have to do is get off the floor and go downstairs to it.

With a huff of effort, you shove your body forward, bracing yourself on the side of the tub for momentum. You clumsily yank on the knob and crank it until the water stops flowing. There's a fresh towel on a rack by the shower, and you reach for it feebly.

You avoid your reflection in the mirror as much as possible; your skin is a mapping of cuts, bruises, scars. A lifetime of suffering delicately traced into lines on your body. There’s no hiding what you’ve been through, it plays out across your limbs like the scenes of a movie. Each moment of misery, each near-death experience, each trauma, a little piece of it left within you and etched into your physicality for everyone to see.

Some people are born whole and become broken. Some are born whole and never lose enough pieces to say they aren’t complete anymore.

You were born with missing parts, already deficient in a world that ensured it would hack every last bit of you away. You don’t know how you stand, how you breathe, how you live, without lungs to fill your throat with air or a heart to pump your blood. Your chest is a cavern, all your missing pieces scattered across the trails you’ve walked, and mirrored in your scarred flesh.

Reminders. Everything is fleeting, everything is futile, and contentment is an undeserved fantasy.

Body wrapped in a towel, the cold air dimpling your flesh with goosebumps, you reach for your tattered clothes. They’re filthy, murky and bloodstained. You suspect Joel is going to need to thoroughly disinfect the couch you were lying on.

You don’t want to put them on. You don’t want to slide your clean, scrubbed raw skin into the folds of clothing littered with horror.

All you have is the cleanliness of your skin, and the mint leaf ground up between your teeth. Your first taste of comfort in...well, forever.

Reluctantly, you scoop up the pile of clothes and peer out into the hallway. You’re struck with a delightful smell; not the lemon soap, but something more tantalizing. Cooking meat, vegetables, the sizzle of smoke on a stovetop. You lean forward almost in a trance, your stomach growling ravenously, as you begin to descend the stairs.

Your footsteps are featherlight on the stairs, toes carefully pressing forward down the cold hardwood. It squeaks underneath the pad of your foot, but you ignore it, moving languidly toward the enticing smell.

He’s there, Joel, standing at the stove with his large back to you. He’s shrugged out of the flannel, leaving him clad in only his black t-shirt. The thin confines of the material give you more insight into the shape of him, the large, hulking physique of the man cooking vegetables.

He doesn’t seem to notice your entrance, either too enthralled in his task, or you’ve been in the shower so long he’s forgotten you’re here.

Carefully, you edge your way in a wide circle until you think you’re in his peripherals. He glances sideways, eyebrows shooting up as he observes you standing in his kitchen, only a towel around your body.

“Do you have my underwear?” You ask, before something less humiliating can come to mind.

Joel falters, something between embarrassment and amusement dancing across his expression before it smooths out. “Uh, yeah. I threw ‘em in the wash with some other stuff. Hope that’s okay.”

“Oh. Yeah it’s okay. Thanks.”

“I can take those too?” He jerks his chin toward the bundle of tattered clothes in your arms.

“I have nothing else to wear,” you admit.

At that, the corner of his lips twitch sideways. “I got somethin’ for ya’.”

He sets the pan down on the stove and gestures for you to follow him. You trail behind as he makes his way down the hall toward the laundry room you’d passed by earlier. He pauses in the doorway, looking around thoughtfully, before he spots a big tub in the back corner and reaches for it. It’s labeled with the same marker his shampoo was.

Ellie Winter Clothes

Joel brings the tub out into the living room and cracks open the lid, waving a hand for you to come in and examine the options.

You peer into the tub, surprised to find several neat stacks of folded up clothing. Jackets, pants, long-sleeved shirts and flannels. You look at Joel curiously.

“My kid,” he explains, “she just left last week to go on this tour of the west coast with her girlfriend. They just turned eighteen, all about gettin’ that freedom.”

You stare at him blankly. “You let your eighteen year old daughter leave on her own?”

Joel smiles wryly. “You ain't met Ellie. Anyway, she’ll be back at the end of next month. Just don’t lose nothin’ and I figure she won’t mind.”

You pick up one of the shirts. It’s soft fleece, navy blue, thick and warm to the touch. You purse your lips, doubtful it’ll fit you if it’s something a teenage girl’s wearing.

“I think it’ll fit just fine,” Joel tells you carefully, “‘least until we get some food in ya’.”

Warily, you slide the navy fleece over your head, keeping the towel upright with one hand and rolling the shirt down over the front of it. With dismay, you find the shirt fits nicely. It’s barely even snug.

And it’s so unfair that you almost cry in his living room. Because a girl ten years your junior shouldn’t be wearing the same size clothes as you. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep the emotions from swelling to the surface, blinking rapidly.

Joel clears his throat. “Hey, why don’t you throw them clothes on, and meet me in the kitchen? Grub’s almost up.”

You’re quick to nod, scooping up a pair of leggings and socks before you shuffle across the floor into the downstairs bathroom beside the kitchen. You allow yourself a moment to let the tears race down your cheeks as you dress in the teenage girl’s clothes, sniffling while wiping at your red eyes. You hadn’t realized, alone on the road all those months, how much you’ve shrunk in on yourself. You’ve never been as big as you should be, stunted by lack of food. But at least in the QZ you had ration blocks. It’s been a lean few months of scavenging.

You feel like something inhuman, something wrong, something unworthy. You don’t belong in this well-decorated, well-loved home. In this safe little town.

Finally, you wipe the last of the liquid from your eyes and exit the bathroom, heading into the kitchen. Your footsteps are careful, cautious, each one placed with delicate intention.

Joel’s just finishing up as he sets a plate down on his circular kitchen table. There are two settings, each with glistening silver utensils and a mason jar full of liquid beside them.

Joel spots you entering, and smiles hesitantly. He pulls out one of the chairs, which you assume is your cue to sit. You place your bottom in the chair, surprised when he pushes it in for you. He sits in the other chair and begins to eat unceremoniously.

Taking in the sights on your plate, you find a well cooked slab of meat, seared delightfully. The broccoli is steamed to a crisp, but not burnt, and there’s a slice of fluffy bread sliced beside it. You even see Joel dip a knife into a slab of light yellow paste and spread it over his slice.

“Is that...” your voice trails off in disbelief.

“That’s right,” he replies, “want some?”

You nod eagerly and hold out your bread. He smooths some butter over the top. He takes a sip from the mason jar beside his plate, and you can’t tell exactly what’s in it but, from the smell you think it’s alcohol.

You glance down at your own jar curiously, picking it up with a delicate hand. It’s a faded orange-ish brown color, but smells sweet when you bring it to your nose to inhale. No traces of booze, you don’t think. You’ve never been much of a drinker.

Tentatively, you bring the liquid to your mouth for a sip, eyelashes fluttering with surprise. It’s sweet to the taste, tangy and thin as it drenches over your tongue. The flavor is familiar, though you’re certain you’ve never had this drink. It’s tart and sweet all at once.

“You ever had apple juice before?” Joel asks, watching you make love to the mason jar as you eagerly sip more.

Frowning, you shake your head. “Maybe when I was a kid, before the outbreak. I don’t remember it though.”

“You like it?”

Nodding, you tip the glass back and finish it off, exhaling with pleasure. Then, you get to work on the meal.

It’s been so long since you used silverware you’ve almost forgotten how to properly position the fork and knife to cut into the meat. It’s tender though, and easy to slice into. You spear a piece with your fork and take it between your lips, eyes going wide at the burst of flavor breaking in under your teeth.

It’s like nothing you’ve ever had before. Juicy, tender, flavorful. It fills your mouth, satiates the hunger radiating through your teeth, goes down your throat in a smooth gulp. It settles in your empty stomach, a small portion of relief restored within you.

It’s as if a switch has flipped. Once you get a bite of the meat, you think you need to have more or you might die. It’ll be impossible to stop.

You start cutting into the meat like your life depends on it, ravenously shoving pieces into your mouth in a manner you’re sure Joel finds unladylike. You supplement it with bites of well-seasoned broccoli and soft, buttery bread.

Joel refills your apple juice and you wash down bites with it, practically moaning at the taste. When your bread disappears another is set on your plate, buttered and soft, ready to go.

You barely look up to breathe before the plate is clean, the glass is drained for the second time, and Joel is still working on his first helping of it all.

He smiles at you when you meet his eyes, suddenly feeling something like shame wash over you. You don’t remember much of what your parents taught you about manners, but you’re pretty sure coming into a stranger's house and eating their food like a feral dog doesn’t fall under the umbrella of polite dining.

“Um...m’sorry,” is all you can think to say.

Joel arches an eyebrow, taking a hefty bite of his own and chewing thoroughly before he asks, “sorry for what?”

“It was really good,” you reply hesitantly.

At that, his smile grows, and he looks down at the plate to smooth his expression over. He nods once. “Good. M’glad. Glad you liked it. How’re you feelin’?”

“Like I want more,” you admit, though your voice is sheepish, “is that bad?”

He clears his throat, readjusting in his seat, and your face falls. Oh dear god. You’re humiliated. Clearly he’s uncomfortable with your gluttony and your request, you’ve made this weirder than it already was. Further proof of your fears; you aren’t made for a place like this. You’re wrong, broken, not-

“I’m real glad to hear that, darlin’,” Joel says, “maybe give it a few minutes. I bet you ain’t eaten that much in a while.”

Your face feels warm at the casual use of darlin’, but you ignore that and ask, “wait for what?”

“For it all to settle, make sure you still feel okay.” He shrugs, taking another bite of the meat on his plate, which you’re now noticing is much larger than the one you’d had. “Goin’ from as hungry as you look, to eatin’ like we do here...s’gonna take some time.”

It’s an interesting concept, the idea that there could be too much to eat, when all you’ve ever known is the opposite. You struggle to see how that could be a problem, but it’s his house, and his food, and you don’t want to make a scene.

“Okay,” you agree quietly.

Joel chews on his bottom lip thoughtfully, eyeing you as you wrap your arms around yourself, feeling as though your mere presence alone takes up too much valuable oxygen.

“Here.” He hands you another slice of buttered bread, holding it out in his large hand like a peace offering. “Can’t let you sit at my table hungry, darlin’. Just, take it easy, or you ain’t gonna feel too hot.”

Tamping down the glee that springs into your chest at the opportunity for more food, you accept the bread from his outstretched hand with a quiet thanks. You eat quickly, greedily, closing your eyes and letting out a small moan of delight at the taste.

Something funny happens as you eat that bread, a change in the way your stomach feels, a change in the way your body feels. A warmth, pooling in your belly, swelling through you up into your chest, softening your throat and relaxing your shoulders.

You’re full. For the first time in you don’t even know how long, the emptiness doesn’t persist.

“Wow, that’s a sight,” Joel says, and you look over at his face to find a surprising expression of amusement there.

“What?” you demand, voice going sour.

He shakes his head, rueful. “You, smilin’ like that. Didn’t take you for the type.”

A scowl immediately overtakes your features, and your jaw clenches. “I’d have plenty to smile about if-”

His low, dry chuckle cuts off your train of thought. Your eyes narrow, and he shakes his head again, looking a little too amused by all of this for your taste.

“Will you settle down?” Joel teases lightly. “It’s just nice, is all. Glad to see you lookin’ happy about somethin’. We’ve made a lotta progress from you holding a knife to my throat earlier.”

You regard him with cautious eyes. “And you trying to choke me to death.”

“Ah. Yeah.” Sheepishly, he rubs the back of his neck. “M’sorry about that. I didn’t realize you weren’t...”

“A disgusting mushroom monster?” you fill in, lips twitching.

“I wasn’t gonna say that.” He frowns.

“It’s fine. I know I look like shit. It’s been a rough couple of months.”

“I wasn’t gonna say that neither,” Joel replies dryly. “What I do wanna ask is…well, how’d you end up out there on your own? Ain’t you gotta family? Young woman like you-“

“I’m not young,” you bite back immediately. And it’s true. In this world, at your age, you’re considered lucky to still be here

“Alright,” he concedes, “woman like yourself, alone. How’d that happen?”

“Everybody’s got dead people,” you reply, running your finger along the thin glass around the empty mason jar. It’s cool against your skin, sticky with juice remnants. It gives you something to focus on besides Joel’s scrutinizing expression.

You don’t want to do this; pry open this bleeding wound in your empty chest and claw at the flesh until the pain subsumes you. Your family is dead, you’ve never had anything close to a friend, you’ve never been safe enough to slow down in the way you’d need to fall in love. What is the point of rehashing this? What is the point of saying aloud all the scars he can see written plainly on your body?

“Where is your daughter’s mom?” you ask, hoping desperately to shift the subject off of yourself.

Joel clears his throat, sitting up a bit in his chair. “She’s dead. I actually adopted Ellie.”

“Oh, you aren’t her biological father?”

“No. I uh...I was though. My older daughter. Sarah.”

You look at him, the plains of his face, the aged lines around his deep eyes, the flecks of gray in his beard. His use of the word “was” needs no further elaboration. It’s clear, probably should’ve been since even before he showed you Ellie’s winter clothes, this man is someone’s father.

You suddenly realize you’ve left your loaded handgun in the bathroom upstairs, abandoned with your discarded clothing. You suddenly realize, that’s alright.

“I’m sorry,” is all you can muster in reply to such a harrowing admission.

Joel nods once, a brief acknowledgement of your condolence. “Thanks. Was a long time ago. M’alright, these days. Life’s good.”

“Everybody’s got dead people,” you offer up again, a limp shrug to your shoulders.

Arching an eyebrow, Joel replies, “that’s true. Your parents, then?”

“Mhm. Yours?”

He chuckles. “Long before the outbreak, honey.”

“How old are you, anyway?”

“Old. Yourself?”

“Not old. Not young, either.”

Nodding, Joel’s eyes dart up to meet yours. It’s quiet then, the sort of quiet that lingers between two people when they aren’t sure what the next move is. When they aren’t sure where to go from here, what the future holds, what they are to each other.

“How are you feelin’?” He breaks the silence, of course, with a concerned glance at your empty plate.

You hesitate. How are you feeling? It’s been so long since someone asked you that question.

Yesterday, the answer would’ve been something as simple as an eye roll and a gesture to your ruined body. How are you feeling? Fucking bad. Is there any other way to feel in a world like this one?

Good feels like a stretch. Your head hurts from where you banged it on the floor, your stomach is so full now it’s starting to feel uncomfortable, your body aches and groans with each movement, and your mind is a torrent of uncertainty and confusion.

But...you’ve certainly felt worse, haven't you?

There’s food in you, and something delightful called apple juice. There’s a fire in the living room. There’s utensils, and plates, and warm clothes, and a shower with-

You suddenly remember something you forgot to tell Joel.

“I used your sponge,” you say abruptly.

Joel blinks. Once, twice, then his brow furrows. “Pardon me?”

“Y-your sponge,” you splutter like an idiot as you realize this was not an appropriate time to bring up the sponge. “In the shower. I’m sorry I didn’t…it was the only one, so- ”

“Oh.” Understanding passes over his face, and he looks taken aback for only a split second before he speaks again. “Oh, no. S’alright. I didn’t think about that before I sent you up there. Sorry. You’re good.”

“I rinsed it clean,” you tell him.

He laughs a little breathlessly, and you think you see the tips of his ears hueing a bit red. Clearing his throat, he swipes his used silverware onto his empty plate and stands. The chair squeals across the floor with his sudden movement.

“I ain’t worried about it,” he says, and moves to deposit his dishes in the sink.

Urgently, you scramble to your feet, collecting your own plate and following him. It’s your immediate instinct to take over and begin scrubbing the dishes; so long living on your own that every responsibility fell to you.

You’re stopped by his gentle arm brushing yours, and he shakes his head. “I got the dishwasher workin’ last month. No need.”

“Dishwasher?” you ask, confused.

Joel gestures to a large white door embedded into the cabinets. He reaches down, smooths his large fingers over the material, and pulls. The door draws down, opening to reveal peculiar little rows of racks and baskets.

“Whoa,” you breathe, kneeling down beside it with fascination, “that’s what these things do?”

“You were young when the outbreak hit,” Joel notes, not a question, but more of an observatory reminder. “I’ll bet there’s a lotta shit we used to have that you don’t remember.”

“We had one of these in the QZ,” you say, still transfixed by the inner workings of this dish washer, “but I didn’t know it opened. I thought it was just a weird design thing.”

At this, he bursts out laughing. It’s a bit more vivacious than the dry chuckle he’s been giving you all day, a genuine, pealing laugh that comes from deep within his belly. It’s nice, rumbling in your ears and soothing to your tense shoulders. The timbre of his pleased noises does something odd to you, something calming.

“It takes running water to use,” he explains once his laughter has died down, “that’s why yours never worked. If your QZ was like ours, that is.”

“You were in a QZ?” you look up at him, struck with how massive he seems standing above your kneeling frame.

“Boston.”

“Atlanta.”

“Heard that one ain’t a cakewalk.”

You shake your head. “No, we didn’t have cake.”

His lips twitch. “You don’t know what-”

“I’m fucking with you.” Rolling your eyes, you get to your feet and cross your arms. “I’ve heard of expressions before.”

“Just not dishwashers.”

Annoyed, your hand flies to your waistband, an instinct. You remember your gun is upstairs.

Joel follows the movement of your arm with a disbelieving noise of contempt. “You’re a violent little thing, ain’t you?”

“I didn’t-“

“Where’s the gun you were just reaching for?”

“I left it upstairs,” you admit.

Joel nods approvingly. “I’ll call that progress. Let me load the dishwasher here and I’ll take you up to your room.”

“My room?”

Your room, indeed.

After the dishes have been loaded into this bizarre machine, Joel walks you up the stairs, past the bathroom you used, into a spare bedroom. It’s nice and clean the way the rest of the place is, neat lines and vacuumed rugs. There’s a dresser, and a bed with four posts, a colorful quilt, photos of horses on the walls. It smells like pine.

You haven’t slept in a bed in a very long time.

You tell him as much, stroking the quilt beneath your palm as you approach the bed. It’s sort of itchy, the kind of fabric that has grit to it, but thick enough to keep you warm.

Joel watches you as you investigate the room, perched in the doorway with his ankles crossed and his arms pressed into the frame. “So you made it all the way from Atlanta, to here, on your own?”

“Mhm.” You vault yourself up experimentally on the bed, feeling the mattress dip beneath your slight weight. It’s aged, squeaky springs and lumpy spots here and there. The quilt scratches your raw skin and you pull back slightly.

But it’s a bed.

“Must’a been hard,” Joel notes.

You nod in agreement. It was hard. Now it’s over. No use rehashing it.

“Well, m’sure you’re exhausted.” He clears his throat and backs off the doorframe, nodding in your direction. “I’ll be just down the hall if you need...if there’s anythin’ at all...just, I’m here, alright?”

“Thanks.” You offer him a small, unsure smile.

He returns it with ease. “That’s two.”

“Huh?”

Holding up two fingers, he moves from the doorway. “Two smiles. Bet I can get three outta you tomorrow.”

With a scoff, you walk up behind him and place your hand on the door. “Good thing there’s no money for you to lose.”

He grins at this, crooked jaw and curled lip all wicked and teasing. There’s something mischievous about this expression, something so out of character for this stern, fatherly presence that it almost takes your breath away. You can picture him, twenty years younger, a rough-and-tumble young man with a teasing sense of humor and a sharp wit. It’s no surprise at all that someone loved him enough to give him a child, someone loved him enough to make him a father.

Joel is confusing, but he’s also quite simple.

He’s a man who cares, fiercely, for those he loves. He cooks, he cleans, he folds his daughter’s clothes up in a neat little bin in the laundry room. He scrubs with lemon soap and stokes a soothing fire in the mantle. He chews mint leaves when his head hurts, he washes dirty undergarments without being asked.

He also laughs, teases, chokes and leaves you to your own devices if you get on his nerves. Though, his patience seems admirable. He loaded your gun, handed it to you with a live round, even after you’d held a knife to his throat. He’d cooked you dinner, caught you when you fell, walked you to the bedroom so you could get proper rest.

You guess, if you were gonna end up getting choked out by some strange man, you’re glad it was Joel. Joel...huh.

“Hey,” you stop him before he can make for the staircase.

“What?” he asks.

“What’s your last name?”

Joel regards you curiously. “Miller. Joel Miller. What’s yours?”

You tell him your name, and he nods. It takes a quick beat of silence for you to continue, “it’s nice to meet you, Joel Miller.”

He smiles again, softer this time, more genuine. “Likewise, darlin’. Get some sleep.”

With that, he turns his back on you and descends the staircase.

______________________________________________________________________

The days go like this.

You wake up in a bed, scratchy quilt wrapped around your sore, aching body. You hadn’t realized how badly you hurt until you stopped pushing forward.

You climb out of the bed, and pad downstairs in the cold morning brisk of Joel’s house. He’s always up before you. He has a fire going in the mornings, heat wafting off the flicker of orange beneath the mantle, and you curl up beside it with the quilt dragging behind you. He’s out of coffee beans for now, but he makes the both of you a mug of hot tea with roots infused into it, and it’s close enough.

You hold the steaming mug to your chest, itchy quilt pulled up around your body like a coat of armor, and watch the fire. Joel asks why you sit on the floor when there’s a perfectly good couch right behind you.

You tell him you want to be warm. You’ve been cold for so long. He seems to understand.

You help him make breakfast, mystified by the seemingly endless supply of fresh produce he has available. He likes breakfast, says it’s his favorite of the day.

You watch as he cracks fresh eggs into a buttered pan; hear the sizzle of heat against runny yolk and whites, watch as the pools of liquid become firm and strong under the duress. Something soft and pliant, made durable through the forges of fire.

It’s so silly, but you relate to those tough little eggs.

You eat at his kitchen table some days, sometimes on the porch in the cold morning, waving to Jackson residents as they begin their work shifts. It seems like fair trades, a barter system built on community where everyone is taken care of in some way or another. It’s bizarre, unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. Joel’s brother lives here too, with his wife Maria who runs the council. It’s all very quaint, picturesque.

Joel says it works. He explains patrols, explains the work shift rotation, explains the mess hall and the greenhouses and the bountiful supply of food from gardening and hunting. He likes it here, you can tell, and why wouldn’t he?

He tells you about his life before, little bits at a time delivered while passing you a plate or tucking the corner of your sheet back down on your mattress. The damn thing insists on whipping up everytime he sits on the end of it to talk with you. He tells you about Ellie, how they came together, how she healed his broken parts.

You’re envious. Not of their relationship, but of the fact that his missing pieces somehow came back when you know your own are doomed to be lost forever. You don’t tell him about your past.

You eat. You eat like you’ve never eaten before. Eggs and bacon in the morning, fresh fruit and squeezed juices. Sandwiches for lunch; chicken and lettuce and tomato between thick slabs of bread that Joel makes in his oven. Cold, tart lemonade that tingles on your tongue and smooths down your throat. Hearty, tender meat with potatoes and veggies and soft baked bread.

Joel watches you eat with this look on his face that you can’t quite decipher. It’s an interesting mix between what you think is some sort of pride, tangled up with another confusing emotion that makes him watch you carefully. He eyes the fork as it slides between your lips, watches you sigh in pleasure, adjusts in his seat when you ask for seconds. You aren’t sure if it’s discomfort with you eating all his food or...something more confusing. Though, he says there’s no rush to get into your own place. The council will check in soon and see if you’re ready. But he says there’s no rush.

Either way, you’re full every day now, so full and satiated that you’re starting to forget what hunger feels like.

Well...not completely.

Days turn into a week, and a week to two, and it’s on this two week marker that you walk into the bathroom without knocking.

It’s your fault. The door isn’t locked, but why would it be? Joel’s been living on his own since Ellie moved to her little shed apartment in the backyard. Your presence is a recent one, two weeks not enough time to get out of a routine of comfortability in his own home.

And you, so many months alone on the road, any semblance of privacy was a lost venture. You’ve peed behind trees, bathed in streams, found yourself naked by the fire on late summer evenings while your clothes air-dried. Knocking on doors has taken some time to get used to.

So when you push it open haphazardly, not expecting to see the fully naked man stepping out of the shower, it’s a slight surprise.

Joel freezes, hand on the towel he’s reaching for, body dripping with warm water. It’s a split second, just a moment before you fumble out a frantic apology and slam the door shut.

But not quick enough that you didn’t see everything. Everything.

You stand outside the door, hand on the knob, eyes wide, chest heaving. You try to clear your head of these thoughts, but there’s only one thing you can really focus on.

Joel.

Naked. Droplets slowly dancing down his weathered skin; clinging to the dark hair on his chest, the slope of his full belly, gliding down toward his pelvis. His thick legs, muscled and bulging, arms the same. All of him, wet, breathing hard, and...and not just breathing hard.

God, you’ve never seen one so big before.

Everything about Joel is big. He’s a massive presence. His shoulders are broad, hips wide, thighs sturdy. His neck is thick and lined with veins, same as his wrists and hands. His stature towers over you, and his form exceeds yours in every possible sense.

But...well, you’ve never seen one so big.

It had been too quick, to really be able to tell if he was truly sporting a post-shower boner. You think, maybe a little. But you also think...maybe it’s just that big.

The hair was well groomed, you noted that, though you aren’t sure why. It makes you feel...feral. You haven’t had a shave in months, legs thick with coarse down, the slope of your pelvis protected by a soft bush of hair. Razors were hard enough to get in the QZ. On the road? Non starter. You’re a fuzzy decoration of body hair. Joel’s not exactly smooth, but he looked...groomed.

Why are you self conscious? Why do you care what he might think of the haphazard way you look naked? Why are you comparing your road-torn body to his strong, healthy one?

Why are you imagining what his might feel like against yours? How the scruffy beard on his jaw might scratch and tickle yours like that stupid quilt. How his hands, thick and massive, would cradle your flesh, the pads of his rough thumbs leaving lines of desire down each tendon. How his voice, low and gruff, a buttery drawl, would whisper in your ear. Tell you you’re beautiful, tell you he likes having you here, tell you this is permanent.

That’s enough to snap you out of your stupor. You release the door handle like you’ve been burned, stumbling back away from it. Your breath hitches, eyes feeling warm and wet.

Before you can make a hasty exit, the door opens, and Joel appears under the arch. He’s fully dressed now; dark washed jeans and an olive green t-shirt that clings to his large chest and arms in a way that’s almost unbearable.

For a beat, there’s this silence between the two of you that feels almost tangible. Your throat sticks with it, clogging up any pathetic attempts at breaking the tension. You look at him, fumbling for something to say, something to do, fuck to even move.

“M’sorry,” he begins, averting his eyes, “uh, I-”

“My fault,” is all you can squeak out.

“I shoulda locked the-”

“My fault!” you repeat, like a real eloquent genius. You force a laugh out of your lips, but it sounds more like a manic cry than anything.

Joel’s brow creases, his eyes settling on you with clear concern. “No, s’okay. M Sorry, again. Are you...alright?”

Another manic laugh. “Joel, you’re not that special, I’ve seen naked men before.”

His jaw tenses. “You look upset.”

This is too much. This is all too fucking much. He’s got you all twisted up, all confused. Eating his food, using his sponge, sharing tea with him in the mornings and a leaf of mint at night. Letting him worm his way into your mind, make you feel safe and secure.

This is how pieces go missing; get hacked off. This is how a person becomes whole, and then utterly incomplete.

“I’m… fine,” you manage, “gonna… actually, was just going to tell you. I’m gonna talk to Maria today. Let her know I’m ready to be on my own.”

And it shouldn’t affect you, the way his face falls completely at these words. The way his shoulders deflate, his eyes go soft, his lips draw down and his eyebrows flatten.

You’ve hurt him, you’re hurting him. You don’t know why or how, but this hurts him. Despite the quick composure he sweeps over his expression into one of neutrality, you know. And you shouldn't care. It’s two weeks of nothing. You’ve been on your own most of your life.

“Alright,” Joel says, voice rough.

And it shouldn’t hurt you, the way he easily accepts this. The way he doesn’t fight. You don’t own him, he doesn’t own you, you don’t belong to each other.

Two weeks of meals, late night talks, healing. It’s nothing. To either of you, clearly.

But it does hurt. And that’s exactly why you have to leave.

“Okay,” you reply, swallowing hard.

“Council’s closed today, Sunday,” he explains dryly.

“Then I’ll do it tomorrow,” you snap back, voice going a little defensive. “I can find somewhere to sleep for tonight.”

At that, he rears back like you’ve hit him. “What?”

“To get out of your hair,” you explain, gesturing vaguely.

Joel rolls his eyes, crosses those big arms over his chest, and looks down at you disapprovingly. You shrink a little under his stern gaze, hating yourself for doing it.

“You ain’t in my hair,” he snarls, “I told you there’s no rush. Talk to her tomorrow. Sleep in your bed tonight.”

“It’s not my bed.” You don’t even know why you say it, why you’re arguing. You’re just afraid, angry, at yourself more than anything.

His eyes darken. “Do whatever you want, then.”

He brushes past you and heads down the stairs, not bothering to look back up.

__________________________________________

You do in fact, sleep in your bed that night.

The quilt is scratchier than ever, an incessant discomfort that has you tossing and turning all night. It’s never stopped you from sleeping before, but for some reason, tonight is unbearable. You roll on your side, roll on your stomach, bury your face in the pillow and try not to scream.

You’d skipped dinner tonight, for the first time in two weeks. You didn’t want to see Joel, even when he knocked on the bedroom door to tell you it was ready. Even when you said you weren’t hungry, and his worried voice came through the wood.

“Look, you gotta eat, alright?”

“Not hungry, Joel. Thank you though. Really.”

“Is this about-”

“No, I swear.”

“Please?”

It had been hard to say no to that one.

Now, you lie in a suffocating mess of pillows, stomach growling, feeling utterly pathetic and weak. You used to go days with this feeling, gnawing, desperate hunger in your belly, and you persevered. Now, you’re so fucking spoiled you can’t even go to bed without dinner.

You don’t recognize this person you’re becoming. She’s a stranger, a woman of luxury, of contentment, dare you say happiness. She is not you, but some foreign intruder who’s taken over your body in an attempt to finally rid you of your last intact pieces until you’re nothing. Floating in essence, vanquished into an eternity of emptiness.

You rely on him, you depend on him. He feeds you, worries about you, watches you from the corner of his eye to make sure you’re alright. And you don’t know what to do with that. It makes you feel small, futile, like a burden. You know how to take care of yourself. It’s all you know.

So, you toss and turn.

When sleep comes, it brings with it dreams. Haunting memories, things you’ve tried to keep buried deep inside that small little cavern of your brain where bad things go.

The men come, late at night, in a group of six. You’re young, twelve you think. The outbreak has been going on for four years, and you think you’ve got it all figured out now. You’re going to get to this quarantine zone in Georgia, since your own fell. It’s all gonna be fine. Mom and Dad and your big brother Andrew, they’re here and it’s okay.

You’re trying to sleep, burrowed and shivering cold in your thin sleeping bag. Andrew is sitting beside you, one hand on your upper back, shushing your whimpers quietly. His sixteenth birthday was last week. Mom and Dad couldn’t do much on the road, not like you all used to when there was cake and candles and Spiderman gift wrap. Still, he seems older somehow, the last four years have aged him far more quickly than regular life did before the outbreak.

You’re close to the border, your parents say nearly out of South Carolina. It’s southern here, supposed to be warm, but the nights are brutal and unforgiving in the winter. You’re so used to the cold now you’d think you wouldn’t mind, but it aches your bones, freezes your limbs into a stunted position curled around yourself. You hate the cold, always have.

“You’re okay,” Andrew murmurs quietly, trying not to wake Mom and Dad. It’s his turn to watch. They’ve done rotating shifts for days now, until he put his foot down and demanded they both sleep substantially.

“M’cold,” you whine. You know you’re being a crybaby, and maybe once upon a time he would've teased you for it, but not now. You’re bundled up in your layers and sleeping bag while he sits upright against a tree, his thin windbreaker the only barrier between him and the cold. His gun is laid on his thigh, safety on, facing the opposite direction. Guns are a permanent part of your family’s accessorizing these days.

“I know,” he whispers in reply, “it’ll be warm in Atlanta. Just try to sleep.”

“I’m afraid,” you say, even though you’re embarrassed to admit it.

“Me too,” Andrew says, “but we’re all gonna be fine. We’ve made it this far, hm?”

You nod half-heartedly. “Yeah.”

“As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay. Alright?”

“Okay, yeah.”

“Get some sleep.”

“Okay.”

That’s the last thing you ever said to him.

They appeared from the trees, too quiet, too well hidden for Andrew to spot them in time. By the time one of the men got close enough to reach out and yank your sleeping bag up with you in it, he was out of time.

Andrew shot, blindly. He nailed the man who’d scooped you up, and you both fell to the ground. He cried your name, rushing toward you, and then another shot rang out. Andrew hit the dirt with a spurt of red liquid that splattered across your face.

You remember screaming. You remember your parents waking up, frantic. You remember fumbling around on the ground and grabbing Andrew’s gun, only to feel a vice grip on your arm. One of the men grabbed you, while your parents shot and fought off the others. Your mother screamed, and a body hit the ground. You struggled against the man’s hold as his greedy, chapped hands combed your adolescent body to see what of value you had.

“Nothin’ on this one!” he’d shouted, tossing you to the ground like you weighed nothing. Your head hit the hard dirt, and you found yourself even with Andrew’s face. Well, what was left of it.

“The lady had some ammo, there’s some stuff in these packs,” another man replied.

“What do we do with this one?” asked the man who grabbed you.

“Eh, she’ll die out here on her own anyway. Might as well put her out of her misery.”

That was the moment you knew you were going to die.

“Hold it,” another man said, “she’s a fucking kid, just leave her. We got what we needed.”

“Yeah she ain’t worth the bullet,” chimed in another man.

“I’ll choke her out,” one suggested.

“Just leave her,” a more commanding voice ordered, “grab this shit and let’s get going.”

You remember lying there in the darkness, watching the bits of chunky red substance leak from Andrew’s eye socket, waiting for someone to tell you what to do. Waiting for your parents to sit up and give you an order.

The night grew colder. You weren't strong enough to bury them, even move them on your own. For a long time, you just lay there, staring at Andrew. The image burned into your brain forever.

By the time the sun rose, your bones were so cold, lips blue, eyelashes stiff, you felt like you’d died right with them. Four corpses lying unceremoniously on a campsite. Rigor mortis set in early for you, a paralyzing terror of the next steps rendering you utterly immovable.

After a while, you got hungry.

Isn’t it funny, how that’s what motivated you to push your small body away from your brother’s hollowed face? Your own selfish need, your own emptiness, always threatening to swallow you whole.

The walk to Georgia left you breathless a lot. You stumbled, more than walked. Drank from streams the way your parents taught you, foraged for food as best as you could with no weapon besides the little knife holstered in your sock. You hid from infected and more raiders, using your small body to your advantage as much as possible.

When you finally made it to the giant cement wall of the QZ, it felt like you’d lost your breath forever. Your lungs rattled, air came in short, quick bursts, your throat ached from dehydration. Your legs didn’t work, not how they were supposed to.

You remember the FEDRA guards holding guns at you, a scanner to your neck, shoving you through the gates roughly. You remember telling them your family was gone. You remember lasting a week in the orphanage before you ran away, doing odd jobs for older QZ residents in exchange for places to stay.

Mostly, you remember Andrew’s face. You remember the biting cold contrasted with the warm splatter of blood on your face, you remember his insides leaking out, you remember wishing you could scream, but not having enough power in your lungs.

As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay.

You remember knowing that you would never be okay again.

The remembering hurts, restricts your lungs into a tiny little ball in your chest. You struggle to inhale, struggle to fill your sternum with necessary oxygen. It burns, the hunger for air with no satisfaction. The emptiness consumes you.

You gasp, you see Andrew’s face, it hurts, everything hurts.

Alone on a campsite, alone in the woods, alone in the QZ, alone on a cross-country trek, alone in a cold gas station.

A warm fire, mint on your tongue, tart lemonade down your throat, food in your belly. A dry chuckle in your ears, a steadying hand on your back, a comforting presence beside you.

Alone. Afraid. Broken. A burden. Couldn’t save your family, could barely save yourself-

A burden.

Alone.

Broken.

“Hey.”

A voice, low and urgent. Familiar, gentle but concerned.

You gasp.

Alone.

Burden.

Broken.

“Hey,” more insistent this time, “hey, wake up honey.”

You gasp, your body freed from its rigor mortis as you bolt upright, air circulating through your lungs like a broken fan blade. Your hands fly out, a desperate attempt to shield your face from whoever is currently saying your name.

“...breathe, breathe,” he’s saying to you, a little frantic, “s’okay, you’re okay, breathe.”

“Please,” you wheeze, but you don’t know what you’re begging for. There are tears in your voice, a fragile broken blossom of desperation.

“I know, I know baby, s’okay,” he’s touching you now, delicate fingers tracing up and down the protruding knobs of your spine. “Listen to my voice, darlin’. Take a deep breath for me, s’gonna be okay, I promise.”

You try to follow his example, try to steady your breathing to an even pace. He’s doing it for you, showing you how, patiently inhaling in a slow motion and letting it go in one soft exhale.

“I-I can’t,” you gasp, feeling hopeless, helpless, pathetic and like a burden in every sense of the word.

“Shh, yes you can honey. In, with me now, in.”

He inhales, slow, lowering himself to look up at your trembling frame perched on the bed. The sheet’s come up, the fading cream color of the mattress almost too bright in the dark room. Pale moonlight illuminates Joel’s face, scruffy beard, wrinkles around his gentle eyes, broad nose. His lips part, and he breathes in, keeping gaze with you.

You follow suit, inhaling in a choppy, half-hearted attempt at the smooth breath he’d accomplished.

“That’s good darlin’,” he nods at you, even though you know it wasn’t good. “You’re doin’ so good. Breathe out.”

You exhale in a stunted whoosh.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, “keep goin’.”

With his hand on your back, rubbing slowly, delicately, you fight to steady your breaths. Your eyes are wet, your lips trembling, his voice soothing in your ears. He’s saying all these things, all these nice, lovely, wonderful things that people don’t say to you.

“Attagirl, good job.”

“S’okay honey, you’re doin’ good, just breathe.”

“You’re okay, you’re safe, promise, I ain’t gonna let nothin’ hurt ya.”

Mercifully, you come back into your body, chest expanding the way it’s supposed to. Your fingers unclench from the tangled up sheets, aching from how tightly you’d been gripping.

Through a curtain of hair, you draw your eyes to him. He’s still there, rubbing your back, murmuring sweet nothings, keeping his own breathing steady.

Still there. He’s still there. You aren’t alone.

“Joel,” you gasp, and he moves toward you in an instant.

Large, warm arms pull you in. His chest, thick through his t-shirt, the steady thrum of his heartbeat a rhythm in your ear. His chin at the crown of your head, his breath in your ears. You curl up like that useless little girl in a sleeping bag, and cling to his shirt.

“M’here,” he whispers, “you’re okay, honey. Was just a dream.”

He’s here. He’s warm. He’s here and you’re safe and not alone. Four walls around you, a quilt underneath your cold legs, a kitchen full of food just down the stairs.

Panic leaks into your veins, memories of the road, cold and lonely and frightening.

As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay.

You want to tell him you’re afraid. You want to admit it; be forthcoming about just how damaged you are. You want to tell him just how heavily you’ve come to rely on his steadying presence, his warm food, his laugh, the way his eyes crinkle up and his teeth show when you make him happy.

You’re so, so scared. So alone, so petrified, not at all as tough as you’d like him to think.

But the last time you admitted you were afraid, you lost everything in the blink of an eye. Your own weakness, always your undoing.

“You’re okay,” Joel says into your hair, not realizing he’s speaking empty words into a hollow recipient, “I gotcha. You’re safe. I’m here.”

You can’t tell him how badly you want him to stay. That will only make him leave.

“Joel,” you repeat, breathless, unsure of what else to say.

“M’here honey.” He reaches down with one hand, cups your face in the rough of his palm, strokes his thumb over the delicate line of your cheekbone. And you feel safe.

Desperately, you lift your own trembling hands, taking his cheeks in them. He seems surprised, but doesn’t pull back, allowing you to explore with your own frail fingers. You trace the bridge of his large nose, the slope of his full lips, the broad jaw and stern forehead. His eyelashes flutter, and you move yourself closer, cradled in his arms, faces only inches apart.

“M’here,” is all he says. And you must be tired of hearing it, surely you must, but you can’t find that anywhere within yourself. All you feel is safe.

You don’t know exactly how it happens. Your face moves, his does too, hurried breaths and warmed air between you. His lips press into yours, soft and lush and tender. You don’t know who leaned in first, but you feel his caution, his carefulness as you deepen the kiss from something superficial to something that has meaning.

He allows you to part his mouth with your tongue, falling into one another as your noses bump. His grip tightens around you, and you’re awash in the smell of lemon soap and mint, the itch of the quilt beneath you, the squeak of a mattress underneath your combined weight.

After a few seconds, your lips part. Your noses touch, the frame of your foreheads making a heart against the shadows of moonlight through your window. His hands cup your face, rough and calloused, yet unbelievably gentle all at once. It’s as though his grasp is a shield, impenetrable and solid. You’ve never felt so safe, so cared for, so protected.

And so, so scared.

Now that you’re here, safe and cocooned in this warm house, this gentle society, the arms of this incredible man…

How can you ever let yourself love something that would hurt so badly if it were lost? You’ve done it before. You can’t do it again.

“D’you wanna talk about it?” Joel rasps, thumb still soothing small lines over your cheek.

You shake your head quickly, but the words spill out as if in spite of your body’s intentions. “Just… mm. My parents. My brother. Just-that’s all.”

“Oh,” he murmurs, “what…can I ask what-”

“Raiders. I was twelve.”

At this, he looks down at your face, brows furrowed. “You saw it?”

“Yeah, I got away. They let me go, I mean. After some debate.” You clear your throat, breathing settled and eyes drying with each word. You’re feeling grounded enough to be utterly humiliated. “Um, I’m really sor-”

“I know you ain’t about to apologize for havin’ a nightmare,” he interjects dryly.

“More for what happened afterward,” you mutter.

Joel’s fingertips tuck a lock of hair back behind your ear, even though it falls right back out again. “Now why on earth are you apologizin’ for that?”

Because I can’t stay.

Limply, you shrug.

He laughs, that low, dry sound. It smooths from his chest like a bass drum, reverberating in your ears. And you smile in spite of yourself, a small, gentle pull of your lips. You love making him laugh.

“Sorry I barged in,” Joel says, even though he’s still holding you in his lap like a stray dog.

“S’okay. Thanks for…thank you.”

“Don’t gotta thank me.”

“Be kinda rude if I didn’t.”

His lips twitch. “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Okay.”

“Did you do that just now…kiss me…’cause you wanted to, or ‘cause you were upset?”

Swallowing thickly, you reply, “can it be both?”

“If it’s both, it’s both.”

“That’s fucking vague,” you grouse.

“Pot, meet kettle.” He smirks down at you.

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” you say.

“Don’t be,” he responds, “I’m not.”

You have nothing to say to that.

“You oughta get some rest.” Joel squeezes you once, then moves like he’s going to get up and leave.

Your fingers dart out to clench his shirt, gripping the soft cotton in vice like digits. Wild-eyed, you look up at him, terrified of being alone, terrified of seeing Andrew’s face again all night.

“Hey, easy.” Joel pries your fingers off his shirt. “You alright?”

“I-I-“ you stumble over the words, throat choking up. It’s all so confusing. You need to be away, pull back, stop this before it goes too far. At the same time, you’ve never needed to be close quite this badly.

“I can,” he answers a question you didn’t ask, “if you want.”

Limply, you nod.

“Go on then, scoot.” Joel gestures for you to make room on the bed, and you do. He adjusts the pillows and lies flat, opening his arm for you. You curl up at his side, cheek on his chest, listening to the steady heartbeat underneath the cotton shirt. He smells like lemon soap, and a faint musk of sweat from sleeping. It’s enticing, the mixture, and you don’t know why.

You press your face into his shirt, breathing in the security that this strange man somehow brings. You don’t know when the shift happened from him being a man you wanted to stab, to this, but it’s happened now. It’s too late to deny this: Joel means something to you.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” you tell him quietly.

He hesitates. “You…didn’t say nothin’ bad. That was always the plan, for you to go out on your own darlin’.”

He’s right of course, that was the plan. For the past two weeks, all you’ve been doing is letting him take care of you. The end goal, ultimately, to help you become a functioning Jackson resident.

“But can I ask?” He continues, voice low and soft in the dark bedroom.

“Yeah?”

“Do you…do you want to leave? S’okay whatever you wanna do baby, just… that is what you want, right? To be on your own?”

As long as we’re together, we’ll be okay.

No, no, no I don’t want to be alone. Ever again. I want to stay with you forever.

“Yes,” you lie. It’s a lie. You’re so afraid. Why can’t you just tell him the truth? Why can’t you just let someone in? If it’s gonna be anyone…well, it’d be someone like Joel.

No. Not someone like Joel. Just Joel.

“So all that time on the road,” he adjusts your body slightly, tugging you up higher on his chest so that his chin rests on your head, “didn’t make you lonesome?”

An ache in your chest, sharp and spearing overwhelms you. “It-it did.”

“N’you like bein’ lonesome?”

The lie is on the tip of your lips before he says, “be honest, honey.”

“No,” you say, shoulders deflating.

“It’s hard,” he whispers, “lettin’ people in when you lost so much before. Believe me darlin’ I get that.”

“Then you know why I have to leave,” you tell him, desperate that he’ll understand, but also hoping that he’ll argue against it.

“I know why you think you gotta leave,” he corrects.

“This isn’t good for you anyway,” you’re shaking your head as you speak, fingers splayed out on his chest, “I’m a burden to you.”

At that, he manages a small, dry chuckle. You look at him, confused by what’s made him laugh.

“Honey, havin’ you here…well, I think I needed it just as much as you did. You got no idea how much I like watchin’ you eat what I cook, listenin’ to you hum in the shower ‘cause you’re too shy to sing, watchin’ you curl up by the fireplace with that damn quilt around your head like a sherpa.” His fingers come down to cup your jaw, tracing the line of bone that leads to the curve of your chin, up to the bow in your lips. “How nice it is havin’ a pretty girl around to talk to, someone smart, someone funny, someone who’s like me.”

“Like you?” you inquire.

“Mhm.” He presses the pad of his thumb against your lips, parting them slightly as he uses his finger to study the contours of your mouth. “Someone hurt, someone who thought they had no chance in this world. Someone who can get better, if she lets herself.”

Your throat feels tight. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You’re already doin’ it, baby.” He tilts your chin up with the meat of his palm, looking down at you through the silver streaks of moonlight. “Every day you get up, eat breakfast, and keep goin’. That’s all it is. Takin’ it one day at a time. Takin’ care of yourself. Letting yourself get better, slow n’ steady.”

You blink up at him, trying to process his words. You guess he has a point; two weeks ago you barely felt human, didn’t feel like you could ever belong in a place like Jackson, or somewhere like Joel’s home. But lately, through these routines of care, you’ve begun to feel…alive again. Still agonized by loss, still hopeless and confused and frightened, but something more than that too.

“You don’t gotta stay,” he assures you, “not if you don’t want to. But don’t go just ‘cause you’re scared. Ain’t no reason to punish yourself. Not when I like havin’ you around so much.”

“What if you get tired of having me around?” you ask weakly. It’s no far stretch; every other short term partner you’ve ever had got sick of you after enough time. Every adult you roomed with in the QZ kicked you out sooner or later. Nothing is permanent, especially not people.

“You think I could at least get a chance to prove myself ‘fore you go ahead and write me off?” He smiles down at you, hand still cupping your cheek. “I actually ain’t all that bad a guy.”

“No, no,” you’re quick to reassure, “Joel, you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You are- you are a good guy. It isn’t that, it’s-”

“It’s not you, it’s me, honey, that one’s a little played out.” There’s gentle amusement in his voice.

With a groan, you start to pull away. “You’re impossible.”

“Hey, m sorry.” he pulls you back in, gentle but demanding, and you concede, all too eager to lay against his warm chest. “All I'm sayin’ is, no one’s asking you for your hand in marriage or nothing. Just…stick around for a while. Let me make sure you’re real healthy, ready to go. Get some meat on these bones. Get you feelin’ good. Might take some time. Two weeks ain’t much.”

“I’ve got meat,” you defend.

He snorts. “Me too.”

“Joel-”

“S’gonna take time, that’s all I’m sayin’. Just, stay, alright? Let yourself…have this.” Joel presses a firm kiss to the top of your head.

Finally, you exhale and find yourself nodding. Although it’s against your instincts, and better judgment, you know he has a point. How can you ever get better if you don't give yourself the opportunity?

“I don’t really know how to do this,” you admit, “I’ve never really…been a person before. Y’know what I mean?”

He makes a quiet noise of consideration. “Gimme an example.”

“Like, the apple juice,” you explain in a rambly sort of voice, “or the dishwasher. I don’t know how to do things like you do. I mean, fuck, I walked in on you in the shower today.”

At that, he clears his throat. You must be imagining it, but you’re sure you can hear some sort of…something in the noise.

“That kinda stuff takes time,” he replies quietly, “s’okay.”

You arch an eyebrow. “What else am I missing then?”

“You’d have to tell me that, honey.”

Abruptly, you remember his body, naked and wet from the shower. Something about him is so desirable; whether it’s simply the masculinity of his form; hairy and strong, the impressive endowment between his legs or something else, you aren’t sure. Could it be that he’s simply an attractive man, who’s kind and thoughtful and funny? Of course.

Could it be that everything about Joel represents what you’ve always wanted? The security of this home he’s created, the warmth of his fireplace and the way he’d thought to set out mint leaves for you to chew on? The heft of his body; his large shoulders, his thick thighs, his soft stomach, well fed and dense with nutrition. He is whole, broken pieces glued back together painstakingly to build back up this incredible man. This beacon of recovery, healing, strength and happiness.

What are you missing? Everything that Joel has, it would seem. The chance to finally become the way he is… to be okay again.

And…well, it’s also been a while since you had a good fuck. That wouldn't hurt either.

The thought is so ridiculous, so sudden and inappropriate, that it makes you laugh. A real laugh; a genuine, deep-chested sound of amusement that has Joel pulling back with surprise.

“Somethin’ funny?” he inquires, arching an eyebrow at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“No, m’sorry.” You press your fingers against your lips in a pathetic attempt to stifle the laughter. “So stupid.”

“What?” he demands.

“No it’s- god Joel it’s so ridiculous I can’t-”

“Oh, just tell me damnit.”

“I was just thinking, you know, what might help make me feel normal again. Haven’t had it in a while…” you look up at him expectantly.

It takes a moment for the message to land in his brain, and his eyes widen slightly. “Oh. I-I see.”

“Yeah…” you clear your throat quietly.

“Well, shit honey. All y’had to do was ask.”

Your eyes widen. “Pardon me?”

He takes your face in his hand again, tilting your chin and gently pulling your body until you’re face to face, noses brushing. His lips twitch, eyelashes sweeping over his cheekbones as he studies your face.

“Like I said,” he murmurs, “ain’t nobody proposing marriage or nothin’. But there’s no reason you can’t…enjoy yourself. If you want to, that is.”

“You…we…are you sure?”

“Ain’t nothin’ you haven’t already seen,” he quips.

You groan. “Joel.”

A low chuckle in his chest. “Sorry baby.”

“If you’re just gonna tease me the whole time, then you can go fuck yours-”

Your retort is cut off by his lips pressing into yours, and you startle a bit, though you don’t pull back. Your body melts, tension leaking out of your shoulders at the feel of his gentle mouth on yours.

And you’re consumed. There’s nothing else in that moment except for Joel.

His mouth on yours, his tongue pressing forward until it parts your lips. His body, thick and warm against your chest. The tangle of his graying hair, the way his breath grows more heavy when you intertwine your fingers with it and tug. His hands, one cupping your cheek, keeping you close, the other delicately beginning to roam your body.

And maybe it’s wrong; hooking up with him on the heels of a horrific nightmare about losing your family, or doing it after you told him you were going to leave, or doing it at all considering you barely know each other outside of these serene, isolated two weeks of eating and sitting by the fire and laughing.

But you want him, and he’s good and you want to be a person again. You want to eat meals and drink tea and sleep with a quilt and fuck often. You want to ride a hard dick, suck on a thick, veiny cock, be caged in an embrace of big bulging arms, hear the guttural moan of a man in your ear as he cums.

It’s a hunger, like any other. The way your stomach growled and gnawed for the relief of a hot meal, your body yearned to be filled too. That warm, wet space between your legs, at times so empty and vacant you thought you might just die from the need. Fulfillment, desperate for it in all its forms. Yearning, hunger, pleas to live a life where such simple pleasures are not only permitted, but taken with ease.

It won’t make you whole, it won’t heal your scars or fix your wounds. It won’t change what’s happened or secure your future.

But for a while, no matter how fleeting, it’s going to fill you up.

Isn’t that enough for someone who’s spent so long being hungry?

“C’mere,” he murmurs, so gentle, so soft, that it’s impossible not to do as he asks. You let him readjust you so you’re sitting on his lap, slender thighs spread around his thick ones, arms hanging off his neck, foreheads pressed together as he hungrily meets your lips again. He’s warm, heat radiating off his large body, and you instinctively lean in.

“Gonna make you feel good,” Joel’s words are muffled by the skin of your jaw as he leaves lingering kisses there, slowly traveling down to your neck. His tongue flicks delicately at the column of your throat, eliciting a small moan from your lips.

It’s been so long since you’ve been touched…

“God, you’re so pretty baby.” His fingers slide into the neckline of your nightshirt, which is really just one of his. It’s so large on you that you wear it as more of a dress, the only thing guarding your intimate areas from the outside world is your solitary pair of underwear, that’s been washed to death as you wait for more fabric to come into Jackson’s seamstress to make more. You’ve been going commando a lot.

It’s your immediate instinct to argue; you haven’t been pretty for a while, you’re not sure if ever. Survival is all you know; not caring for yourself or putting effort in to appear beautiful.

But what’s the point, anyway? He’s here, he’s seen you for what you are, and he wants to make you feel good. What does it matter if you’re pretty?

Though… you do like the way it sounds coming off his lips.

“Can I…” his lips explore the small patch of skin on your neck that’s exposed above the shirt, “can I take this off, honey?”

He’s tugging lightly on the shirt, asking your permission, even though in every way you’ve really already given it. You hesitate only briefly, concerned about the state of your sickly body. Then, you nod.

Calloused hands moving with a practiced tenderness, he bunches the shirt up at the hem and carefully slides it over your head, exposing your breasts and abdomen. You hear his sharp intake of breath, feel the warmth of it washing over your skin, and for a moment you’re paralyzed with fear.

He doesn’t like what he sees. How could he? You’ve become something inhuman. Scars, bones poking through flesh, discolored bruises. You’re something so ugly and unsightly that-

“Jesus, baby, you’re beautiful.” The pad of his hand smooths out to cup your breast, his thumb brushing elegantly over the bud of your nipple, which is rapidly coming to life from the sensation. “Lookin’ so healthy these days, so so pretty. You feel better?”

Robotically, you nod. “Y-yeah.”

“Love gettin’ to feed you, baby. Watchin’ you eat my food, gettin’ healthy n’soft.” He leans in, cradling your back to keep you upright as his warm lips explore the expanse of your chest, kissing down your sternum until he replaces his thumb on your nipple with his mouth.

And he’s right, you think as you look down critically at your form. You’ve put on weight, surely not enough, not yet. But… you’re softer now, edges rounded out to a more gentle plush, knobby knees more full, bony hips more tender, slender thumb joints smoothed out.

And you do feel better. Not dizzy or aching all the time, not sore or struggling to sleep from the pain, not burning from dehydration or growling from hunger.

You’re almost there, almost as full as a person can be. So, so close.

“I like it too,” you breathe, the last word pitching up with a surprised noise as his teeth graze across your nipple. A pleasant, but unexpected motion.

“That okay honey?”

“Mmm…yes…”

“Gonna make you so soft n’happy,” he murmurs, almost more to himself than you, you think, “gonna take care a’you.”

“Okay,” you whimper, pliant in ways you’ve never been with a partner before.

You aren’t sure why, because he’s just sitting there, kissing you and holding you and telling you all of these kind things, but you feel the pooling of tension in your lower belly and the beginnings of a wet patch on your panties. It’s bizarre; other than teasing your nipple he hasn’t done much in the way of sexual advances, yet from his touch and his words alone, you need him.

And you didn’t imagine it, that his cock was big. You can feel it beneath your spread thighs, through his boxers and sweatpants, the thick girth and diamond hard weight of it pressing into the fabric.

The heat between your legs feels almost unbearable now, the growing need and tension from his ministrations of your nipple spurring you on. Your fingers tangle in the wavy hair atop his head, and you feel his lips curve into a smile around your breast.

“Mind if I take this off?” he asks, removing his lips from your skin to tug at his own shirt. You nod quickly, eagerly, watching him slide it over his head.

In the soft glow of moonlight, the contours of his body are illuminated like the artful scenes of a movie. The tendons and muscle in his large arms, bulging and pulsing each way he moves, the clench of his jaw beneath his well-groomed beard, the mapping of dark hair over his thick chest. His stomach is full, wide and round and healthy, a sturdy man in every sense of the word. A big, meaty body to match that huge cock in his pants. It’s only fitting, you think as you admire the large score of his body. He’s scarred too, like you are, the lines and wrappings of a survivor beaten into his flesh.

“Ain’t as trim as I used to be,” he remarks offhandedly, though you think you sense a beat of hesitation in his words.

Your delicate fingers trail between his pecs, smoothing the hair down there until you reach the place beneath his belly button where the hair connects to his boxers. You tug experimentally at the hemline of his pants, eyeing the desperate thing there that begs to be freed. You watch his breathing pace up, his stomach and chest moving in synchrony with each hurried breath.

So big, so full and warm and secure. Solid and strong, an impenetrable wall around you.

“You’re perfect,” you tell him, and you don’t just mean his body.

He ducks his head then, surely embarrassed by the praise, and buries his face in your neck once more. His lips and teeth graze the skin there, sucking and biting and kissing, leaving little wet spots as he moves along.

His large hands grip your hips then, lifting you with such ease it’s almost startling. He heaves you upward and then gently lays you on your back, head against the mound of pillows pushed up on the headboard. Your legs splay out before you and he positions himself above, careful not to lower his weight on to yours.

His lips return to your neck, dancing slowly down between your breasts, kissing the scarred flesh of your stomach and hips, teeth bumping into the cotton of your panties. His eyes dart up to you when he reaches them, eyebrow quirking. A question. He’s asking for permission.

You nod, too eager you’re sure.

“So pretty…” he breathes, pressing his lips to the wet fabric of your panties, eyes closing as he tastes the flowing liquid through the cotton. “‘Bout lost my cool when I saw these little things hangin’ off your pack, darlin’. Wondered what they’d look like on you, wondered what they’d look like off you…” He kisses the wet patch again, which makes your legs tense up, and slides his finger into the hemline, murmuring thoughtfully.

“Don’t fit so good anymore,” he notes, and you realize he’s right. There’s a pinch of fabric at your thigh that wasn’t there before, the mark of underwear too tight. It leaves little indents on your skin when he pulls at it, angry red marks that line the contours of your body.

“You’ve been feeding me too much,” you manage.

He chuckles at this, deep and throaty. “I think we can do better, even.”

With that, he carefully glides the panties down your legs, the stickiness of your arousal clinging to the cotton until he finally separates it from your ankles. He holds it up, admiring the damp fabric. He balls it up in his hand, and then presses it to his nose with a deep, hungry inhale.

You blink, surprised. You’ve never had a partner…do that before.

Joel’s eyes open, underwear still pressed to his nose and mouth. You can see the twitch of his jaw, the smile on his lips even though it’s hidden by your wet underwear, and it does something odd to you.

He wants you so bad, is so hungry for you that he’s taking in every piece he can, breathing in your smell, your taste, even where it clings to the underwear that used to fit you and no longer does.

It makes you need, the way he wants you. It makes you ache desperately, makes you yearn and hunger for him too. Being wanted, being desired, it’s not something you’re used to.

“Smell so nice, honey,” Joel mutters, “bet you taste even better. So sweet, so wet.” He lowers himself between your legs, grabbing your thighs in his large hands, fingers pressing into the meat.

It’s a reflex for your legs to tighten up, tension pooling at the sight of a relatively new man between them. He pauses, noticing your trepidation, and glances up at you without moving forward.

“Hey, you okay honey?” his voice is measured, composed.

You nod.

“You sure? Talk to me baby, I gotta make sure you’re alright. You here with me?”

“I want you,” you manage, “please, Joel, I want it.”

“I’ll take real good care of ya’,” he promises you in that low, sultry drawl, “be real gentle. Treat you real nice.”

You’re nodding, already lost in whatever it is he plans to do to you. You feel a brief stab of insecurity for the state of your body hair, and you want to tell him as much, but you’re afraid it’ll kill the moment.

He doesn’t seem to mind, either way, lips pressing into your inner thighs, seeming completely heedless of the thick hair there. He pulls your body closer, gripping your hips in his strong hands, bringing your dripping cunt closer.

Joel’s head drops down, lips covering a delicate pattern on your lower belly, gliding easily over the soft hair on your pelvis, finding his mouth at your lips. Experimentally, he smooths his tongue over the wet slit there, glancing up when the action makes you inhale sharply.

His eyes are teasing, mouth quirked up in a small smile. Teasing, cocky, mischievous.

“You’re g-gonna have to do better than that,” you tell him with a small curve to your lips.

“There’s that smile,” he muses, before burying his face between your legs again.

And there’s no ability to think of anything else, because he’s there. His tongue, expert and well practiced, running whirlpool motions over the bud of your clit, sucking and kissing and licking hungrily at the dripping bellow of your opening.

Every sense is alight, each breath you take heavy with elation. The bundle of nerves between your lips is in overdrive, tensing and pulsing with desperate need as he gets you closer and closer. His tongue works miracles, the speed altering at just the right moment, switching his motions at just the right interval, lapping up your sopping liquids with his tongue like a starving man at a buffet.

“Taste so fuckin’ good, baby girl,” he groans into your wet folds, “such a pretty little cunt, so wet and soft for me.”

“For you…” you echo in a whine, fists gripping the sheet that’s come up off the mattress again.

The noises are obscene, the wet squelch of his tongue against your body, the almost frantic way he devours you. Hands holding your trembling legs in place despite the way you tense and move from the sensations, face buried against your wet center, the mess of liquid dampening his face and your thighs and the sheets underneath.

You cum with a whining cry, a noise you didn’t know a person like you could make. It’s an innocent sound really, despite the debaucherous context. A noise of pure, primal pleasure, ripped from deep within your chest, a release and elation you haven’t felt in…you’re not sure if ever.

Knees clenched around his head, you’re expecting him to pull back now that you’ve gushed more fluid onto his face. But dutifully, he keeps eating. He drinks you in, the overstimulated, swollen clit beneath his lips is begging for relief, pleading to rest, but he doesn’t let it.

Joel is hungry, and he won’t leave until he’s satisfied. Until you’re both satisfied.

“Taste so good when you cum for me,” he breathes when he pulls his lips back for air, “so sweet n’wet. Cum on my face, darlin’, do it again. Wanna eat you, all of you. So wet f’me baby.”

You think you cry his name, you aren’t sure, but you rip your fingers through his thick hair, tighten your thighs around his face, tears budding at the corners of your eyes from the ruthless sensation between your legs.

Then, a thick finger, gentle and careful probing at your entrance. He slides it in just a bit, moving with caution and curiosity. You buck your hips toward him eagerly, the desperate clench of your wet cunt around nothing is almost too much to bear.

Slight relief as he glides his finger in all the way, pumping it gently in and out, back and forth to get a feel for the tightness of your slick walls. It’s been so long since anyone touched you this way, since you had anything substantial inside you, and Joel’s got the biggest fingers of any man you’ve ever met.

“That feel good baby?” he grunts as his lips ghost over your pulsing clit and his index finger smooths inside of you, “hurtin’?”

“No, good, good,” you pant.

“Good girl, attagirl.” He kisses your clit again and your hips buck once more, but he pins them down with his other hand. A second finger inside of you, matching the pace of his first, stretching you around the thick width of his digits. Preparing you for what’s to come, the massive, hard cock that’s going to spear you against the headboard.

Fuck, fuck.

“Joel,” you groan his name, feeling his fingers curl up in a crude little gesture inside you, coursing against your walls, brushing up against that place that makes you feel like you’re going to erupt. “Joel, Joel….”

He hums a low sound, lips and tongue still violently, rhythmically devouring your wet cunt. Between the pulsing thickness of his fingers, and the circular motions of his tongue on your clit, it’s not long before you white out. The pleasure is too intense, too sudden and overwhelming. It’s too much, too much, more than you’ve ever had before.

Tears track down your cheeks against your will, your chest heaves with desperate, panting breaths. Your fingers have gone numb from their vice grip on the sheets, legs aching as they spread around his head to give him easier access, not a shred of resistance in your body as you submit to his expert touch.

And it happens again, more intense this time. A black film teases the corners of your eyes, a devastatingly intense pooling in your stomach and through your cunt, a pulsing, thready explosion of pleasure bursting through you.

You soak his face, legs jerking, hips convulsing, voice raw from crying out. The feeling is so intense that it dizzies you, your head floating off your body and spinning into a whirlwind somewhere in outer space.

Joel licks it all up, tongue dragging across your drenched inner thighs, gliding across the shimmering wet slit of your lips, sucking on the raw skin until it’s nearly unbearable. Then, his wet mouth is moving, kissing up your thighs, the slope of your hips, your stomach and your breasts, sucking on your nipples and cupping them in his rough palms.

Once he reaches your ear, teeth grazing the lobe, voice gruff, he whispers, “you with me, baby?”

You whine a small sound, feeble and needy. You feel the curve of his lips into a smile where they’re pressed into your ear, and he kisses your temple, lingering there.

“M’gonna take these off, hm?” he slides a hand down toward his sweats, where you can see the large, intimidating shape of his hard dick outlined.

God, you need it, you need it like you’ve never needed anything in your life. So many years spent hungry, never realizing just how painful it could truly be to want something and be empty of it.

Your pulsing, desperate pussy aches for him, dripping with the evidence of his prowess. Your thighs clench around nothing, pleading, begging, needing to be filled with whatever he can give you.

Joel slides the pants off, boxers following suit, and your eyes widen a bit at the sight of his large cock springing forward. There’s a well-groomed crop of hair at the nape, heavy, even balls framing the thick protrusion of his shaft. The tip, angry and red, dripping with his need.

“Joel, let me-” you make a move to take it in your mouth, but he stops you with a gentle shush.

“No baby, just you tonight.” He lowers himself back above you, the hard tip just barely brushing your sopping cunt.

A synchronized moan fills the air, both of you shuddering at the teasing contact. Holding himself upright on his thick, powerful arms, he lowers his forehead to yours, noses bumping. His lips ghost against your own, and you kiss him greedily, whining into the touch as his dick presses against you once more.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, “you wan’ me to fuck you, honey?”

You nod desperately.

“Talk to me, honey.” His lips press delicately right beside your mouth, smoothing his large nose over the supple skin of your cheek. “Tell me what you want, hm?”

“I-I want you,” you croak, voice frail and shattered, “want you inside me, Joel. Want you to fuck me. Fill me up, fill me with you. Please, please. I need it.”

He smiles down at you, no trace of teasing or mischief there, only a genuine, earnest warmth. Gradually, his hips roll into you, pushing just the slightest bit of him inside. You shudder, gasping at the beginning of the stretch.

“Gotta go slow, honey,” he breathes, eyes closing as if in concentration, “don’ wanna hurt you.”

“N-no, I don't care,” you insist.

“I do, baby. Gonna take care of you, promised. I got you. I got you. You’re safe with me.” His lips warm against your collarbone, kissing wetly there as his hips inch forward, shoving more of himself inside.

The stretch is intense, painful despite how wet and glistening you are for him. The head of his cock, fat and dripping, grunts into you with restrained desperation. His thighs push forward, hips moving slowly, slowly, giving you time to adjust, giving you all the focus and care and attention.

Finally, mercifully, he bottoms out, both of you groaning out a noise of agonized want. Your thighs are speared apart by his wide body, balls of your feet digging into his lower back. His arms cage you in, one hand flat on the mattress to prop himself up, careful not to put any of his massive weight on your light frame, the other touching you. Your breasts, your cheek, your hair, your lips, every part of you he can see he explores while he allows you to adjust to the heavy weight of his dick inside of you.

It’s huge, spreading you and stretching you so intensely that you’re grateful for his godlike patience. You feel it bumping up inside, tip scraping the mouth of your womb, almost enough that you swear you could touch it through your belly.

“So big, Joel,” you tell him, your voice a thready imitation of your usual cadence, “so big n’strong…so nice…”

“I got you baby,” he cups your cheek, bending his body down to kiss you lightly. The movement sheaths his cock forward inside, and you both groan.

“Please,” you beg, “please fuck me…please fill me up. Want you to fill me with your cum. Keep me full forever.”

“Fuck, fuck, honey girl,” he bites at your lip, pulling hard between his teeth until he draws blood. He licks across the soft pink flesh, taking more of you into him; the thin red line decorating his tongue before he swallows it up like a good boy.

Then, his hips grind into yours and you let out a shrill noise, a wounded animal crying out. He moves, slowly at first, allowing your body to stretch around him, getting used to the impact of his impressive girth.

Quickly, he picks up the pace.

You’re begging at this point, nails raking down his thick back, teeth gritting into the hot meat of his shoulder, feet forcing his hips into you. He grunts your name, spits curses into the soft flesh of your neck, grinds and pounds his hips against yours so hard it feels as though he really could split you in two.

But split, you do not. Rather, you become more. Full, whining and screaming his name, sated and hungry all at once. Desperate and satisfied simultaneously. A hungry, soaking little mess underneath this massive man. This man who at first glance, had tried to kill you, a favor you quickly returned.

A man who’s done nothing for the past two weeks but try to make you whole. A man giving you all the pieces of himself he can spare to try and mend your broken ones. A man who knows what it’s like to fall apart and be put back together again.

He sees you; scarred flesh, fear, loneliness, all your worst, all you have, and he takes you as his own.

“Goddamnit,” he growls into your skin, “so fuckin’ tight baby, so good…so wet f’me…so tight, fuckin’ gripping me baby.”

Your nails dig deeper into his back, which only seems to spur him on. His hips somehow continue their breakneck pace, pounding against your deepest point so hard that it makes your head feel floaty all over again.

“Feel so good, you okay baby?” his lips against your skin are slurred, sloppy and greedy.

You nod, nod your head so fast you feel dizzy, and he laughs a little breathlessly. Then, you feel the rough pad of his thumb move from your face down to your clit.

You do white out then, with the combination of his hard, massive dick spearing you against the pillows, and the grind of his thumb against your swollen clit. The sensations are overwhelming, so intense, too intense. Your legs clench around his waist, and you let out a low, guttural scream.

“Fuck,” Joel gasps, eyes shutting as his rolling hips grow sloppier, less rhythmic, “fuck baby, fuck, fuck you just came all over my cock. God, so fuckin’ tight, so good so good honey, m’gnonna-fuck-”

And you’re full. The hunger, the emptiness, it all fades away in that instant.

Joel empties himself inside you, cock jerking and pulsing against your throbbing walls. He groans deep in his throat, cursing and grunting as he fills you up, liquid gushing out over your pelvis and thighs.

It takes a few moments for both of you to come down, his spent cock still sheathed inside your warmth. He hovers over you, and you feel one of his hands cup your cheek, fingers tracing slow lines across the bridge of your nose.

“Baby,” he breathes raggedly, “talk to me.”

“M’fine,” you assure him, though you feel like you’re on another planet.

“You sure? Everythin’ okay? Didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“You’re stupid,” you tell him.

At that, he snorts. “Yeah, you’re fine.”

He moves to detangle himself from you, but your legs clench around him, arms clasping desperately around his neck. He’s so warm, so solid and safe, and you’re so full.

“They used to have a word for this,” he muses quietly, jerking his chin toward the cage of your legs around his waist, “think they called it baby trappin’.”

“As if you couldn’t get off right now if you wanted,” you mutter.

“Already did that, sweet.”

“Okay, you know what, get the f-”

He presses into you again, and you’re silenced by the low moan that slips from your mouth at the pressure of his heft inside you, even soft and spent. He smiles, teeth digging into his lower lip as he looks down at you with admiration.

“M’gonna make you a real nice breakfast tomorrow,” he says matter-of-factly.

“That so?” You arch an eyebrow, amused at the ridiculous attempt at conversation he’s making with his dick literally still inside of you. “What’s the Joel Miller Morning After Special look like?”

“Waffles, homemade batter ‘course. Blueberries, the ones we been savin’. Big ole jug of apple juice, just for you.”

“Just for me?” You smile faintly at him.

“Just for you,” he confirms, “whatever you want, just for you.”

A small laugh drifts from your lips. “Well, that’s very nice of you.”

“So you ain’t leavin’?” he asks, a note of hope in his voice.

“No.” You shake your head. “Think I'll stick around and annoy you for a while.”

He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear with the pads of his fingers. It stays put this time.

“I’d like that, darlin’.” His teeth flash white in the darkness again. “Think I could go for a little somethin’ now actually. You need anything? Some water?”

You nod, fighting the instinct to get up and get it yourself. Maybe, just maybe it’s okay to let someone else take care of you once in a while. Even if it’s something as simple as a glass of water.

“Sounds great,” you admit, wincing slightly at the pull as he finally slides out of you with a sopping noise. You don’t even want to look at the mess on the sheets.

“How about a snack?” he asks. “You hungry?”

And you look at him, sliding his t-shirt on over his sweat-slicked body, reaching for a towel on your rack to pass toward you. So gentle, so caring, so tender and pragmatic all at once.

You aren’t alone. You’re warm, and full, and for the first time in a long time, you’re happy.

“No,” you tell him in earnest, “I’m not hungry.”

“You sure?”

You nod, managing another smile for him. Surely, he’ll add it to his annoying internal tally.

“I’m sure. I actually…I actually feel pretty full.”

What a wonderful feeling it is.

#dontlooknow #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #pedro pascal characters #tlou #the last of us #joel tlou

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hey-hey-j · 4 months

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Viva, Queen of the Pop Trolls, and Poppy, leader of the Putt Putt Trolls, for the role swap AU I posted about yesterday. Now it's their turn for an info post let's gooooo:

- Poppy is now the older sister in this scenario. Like in canon, she was separated from her family when Viva was only a baby, on the night of the trolls' escape. She and her group of survivors became the nomadic Putt Putt Trolls, taking their name from one of their earliest settlements, the abandoned Bergen golf course.

- Instead of settling in one place, the Putt Putt Trolls travel between different temporary homes throughout the year, moving with the seasons and never staying in one place for longer than a few months. If they keep moving, they have less of a chance of being spotted by the Bergens and taken captive again.

- Poppy retains her cheerfully optimistic personality here, and as the leader of the group she's always encouraging that they keep their spirits up through their music. I imagine she keeps up a bit of a "tough unshakable leader" facade, always putting on a happy face for her people to hide how stressed out and anxious she really is. She already lost her family. She'd hate to lose anything else.

- It was during one of their yearly migrations that the Putt Putters ran into Clay, and invited him to join them.

- Viva, Poppy's younger sister, is the recently crowned queen of Pop Village. She's a friendly and charismatic leader who always looks out for her people, and prioritizes their safety and happiness above all else.

- In this AU, Viva did grow up knowing about her older sister, and how she was lost during the Bergen attack. Viva here is a lot less paranoid about letting people leave the village, but she's definitely a lot more cautious than Poppy is in canon, maintaining constant vigilance over the village and the surrounding forest to avoid losing anyone else to the Bergens. And being careful about the scope of her parties—she knows that too much noise and light runs a pretty big risk.

- John Dory is her closest advisor, helping her put together security systems and evacuation protocols with the planning skills he picked up from Branch. Part of the reason JD is drawn to Viva is because she reminds him of Branch in that regard—that deep desire to protect the ones she loves that's sometimes a little misguided but comes from a place of genuine care.

- Viva's hug time bracelet originally belonged to Poppy

(★my Ko-fi)

#my art #trolls band together #trolls viva #trolls poppy #trolls fanart #dreamworks trolls #trolls #there is so much more i want to say but i'm saving it for later posts #whether you're a brother (trolls au)

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boxofbonesfic · 8 months

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Title: Brave [6 of ?]

Pairing: Orc!Steve x Reader

Summary: The pass takes its toll on the pack.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Genre typical violence, Warlord Nomad AU, Dark Fantasy AU, Enemies to lovers, Eventual smut, References to past abuse, Fighting, Monsters, Animal Death, Violence, Mildly described gore

A/N: i’m having a ridiculous amount of fun with this story, can you tell? as usual, reblogs and feedback are appreciated and always welcome.

The storm rages at your backs as the pack travels west. Wind rips at the furs you have wrapped around yourself, a makeshift shield for the freezing rain. The water stings your hands and face like little needles, and you hunch down over your horse. The rolling hills of the grass sea crest higher and higher until they are hills no longer, but great cliffs that begin to rise darkly in the distance. You swallow a nervous lungful of air, and taste ozone and horse-sweat on your tongue.

The Orcs ride close together now, forming a tight shape as they move through the grass sea. What did Carol call it? The zikaegina. Lightning cracks overhead, and for a moment, your eye is drawn to movement—but darkness crashes down too quickly for you to make sense of it.

A bird? Above the storm? You grip the reins tight, remembering the stag. It’s wild yellow eyes, slavering jaws.

“The sea is where chaos reigns free, where Halith’s light cannot reach.” That was what they had told you in the chapel. “The further you go, the more godless it becomes.” You shiver. You know only the falsehoods you have been taught by king and country—and the land has been savage, yes, but also beautiful. Halith’s light had never reached you in your father’s house, when you had prayed and begged for it, so why should you care if her indifference cannot reach you here? You look up at the sky, riven into pieces again with a burning bolt—

There are different Gods here, you can feel it.

The cliffs jut up before you like jagged teeth, spearing the clouds above them. Fog rolls out of the mouth of the pass, so thick you fear you might choke on it. Carol rides up beside you, her back ramrod straight. With one hand she tightly grasps the reins, while the other rests on the pommel of the great-sword at her hip. At the front, Steve silently holds up his hand, forming a tight fist as he slows his horse. The tension is as thick as the fog. You know the horses feel it too as they shift, their ears flicking about nervously.

I wonder if they hear something we do not.

“Eyes up, little human. Eyes up.” Carol whispers, her voice barely audible. Though the rain stings your eyes, you do as she says, staring upward into the dark fog. The sounds of wind and rain echo off of the slick rocks, but the air feels eerily still as the storm rages far above you.

We are not alone here.

You are reminded of Carol’s warning—other things used it too—and you hunch lower. One of the horses whinnies, the sound echoing up the quiet cliffside. The rider silences it as Steve turns, his hand held up as a sign to stop, to wait.

The screech echoes all around you, the horrible, piercing noise of it making you clap your hands against our ears to block it out. Trembling, you cast a terrified look at Carol. Slowly, she raises a finger to her lips. Quiet. Above you, somethingskims low through the fog, something dark.

Something big.

No one moves. The horses stand stock still, and when you look down at your own, his eyes are bright with fear, rolling back and forth in his head. An answering cry pierces the storm, and this time when lightning illuminates the sky, you see it. It clings to an outcropping of rock, crawling silently down the slick stones. It is covered in, dark, wiry fur, with leathery wings that tremble excitedly as it reaches a horrible talon down toward Steve—

Quicker than you’d thought he could move, Steve grabs for his axe, swinging it upward in a clean, bright arc. There is an awful wet, tearing sound as he cleaves the screaming creature in two, black blood spraying his face. His horse whinnies, rearing up as Steve rips the axe clean of the thing’s body. Its carcass falls to the ground, steaming in the cool night air, and for a moment there is silence.

“Zhut! Ride!” Steve’s bellow trembles in your bones. “Make for the city!”

Chaos erupts around you, but it is as though time has slowed to a crawl. You watch, horrified as more dark shapes drop from the sky above you, descending on the scrambling pack in a flurry of hungry claws and teeth. The rider in front of you loses his head in an instant, the bat-thing slamming into him as its jaws open unnaturally wide. You blink, feeling his warm blood on your own face as it bites down with a sickening crunch, its snout and chest covered in sticky red. It turns those big, hollow eyes to you, a long tongue darting out to lick at the blood staining its face. You have no time to reach for the bow at your back as it lunges for you, talons outstretched—

The beast’s black blood joins that of the Orc rider’s on your skin, stinking and acrid as Carol’s blade lands with a dull thunk. One of its claws lands in your lap, and you scream as it twitches. You sweep it to the ground, and Carol grabs you by the shoulder, shoving a short, curved blade into your shaking, bloody hands.

“Ride!” She screams the word into your face, pointing forward into the mist. You snap the reins, holding on for dear life as the horse rears back, hooves fiercely pawing at the air. You and Carol take off, with her swinging the sword around your heads, trying to fend off the screaming, hungry swarm. The blade in your hands would be little more than a dagger for Carol, but for you, it is a short sword, light enough for you to wield with a single hand as you cling desperately to the reins.

Claws clip your cheek, your shoulder, your horse screams—you don’t realize you’re airborne until you hit the ground, the breath knocked out of you. You scramble up to your feet as your head spins. There are three of them, attached to the writhing body of your horse not twenty feet away. Your ears ring with the sounds of battle around you, and the sour tang of blood burns in your nostrils. Others, your own.

“Run! You must run!” Carol beckons you forward, and your thighs burn as you run toward her horse. You can hear another of the creatures behind you, its wings beating against the wind as its claws narrowly miss the skin of your back—it crashes into you, sending you sprawling into the mud for the second time. It lands on top of you, it’s bloody jaws frothing as it snaps at your face. You grab for the sword, straining as its rotting breath rolls across your cheeks—

The creature squawks in pain and then goes still and limp on top of you. Its blood leaks down onto your hands from the hilt, your sword buried in its chest. Numb and dizzy, you stare up at the seething sky above you.

“Up, my brave warrior,” Steve replies, rolling the body off of you. He swings you up into his arms, seating you firmly on his horse in front of him. “Eyes forward.” He hands you the reins, brandishing his axe. “I will do the rest.” You do as he says, keeping your eyes focused straight ahead. You don’t stray, not when the axe whistles through the air above your head, or when the narrow pass widens out back out into the grass sea, the creatures screams echoing behind you.

to be continued…

#cevans fandom #cevans fanfiction #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #steve rogers #steve rogers fandom #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers au #Orc!Steve Rogers #Orc AU #dark fantasy #steve rogers smut #boxofbonesfic #bones drabbles #drabble series

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kit-williams · 2 months

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I wanna be your slave

White Scar: Nogai Sengik Darling: Хонгор which means honey in Mongolian

tw: yandere, corruption kink?

TAG LIST: @bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams-a-back

You were going to get married soon... to be the 5th wife of the first son of a neighboring tribe. Your parents were getting a number of goats for this agreement. Your friend, Yesui, sat next to you as the two of you were weaving in the field just looking out at the distance... you would lose this view... you would loose Yesui... you would lose seeing Lord Nogai maneuver as fast as he could around the rocks on the path from the impossibly distant fortress of the White Scars.

But this is your fate as the 7th daughter of your father but from his 3rd wife... to not marry for love but for duty. You were going to miss it all... as you lean against Yesui letting your hands stall as the words told you so many times... 'you shall do this for the good of the family'... 'you can easily learn to love your husband'... 'it hardly matters as long as he keeps you alive...'

You could feel Yesui hug you tightly... she was lucky... she got to be the first wife to one of the boys that she truly fancied... you? Well you were assured he wasn't going to beat you but it seemed that after his 2nd wife... his 3rd and 4th wife he had trouble to remember their names and that made your heart ache. "You'll be okay." She says petting your head as you just numbly nodded... "Oh look! It's Lord Nogai oh his speeder bike." She says trying her best to get you to perk up as you watch him race faster than the wind down the dangerous winding path in the distance.

You remember when he learned that you and Yesui tended to sit here and were able to watch him you could tell it always made him swell with pride. Your tribe was less nomadic and in a central spot that allowed the white scars to visit a few times a month when they knew a new tribe would be passing by and be able to recruit. It meant that Lord Nogai could show off his skills and then drive up to you and Yesui and talk perhaps occasionally share a quick meal before you tell him which families are here.

"You can be brave..." Yesui whispers knowing you were tempted to not even tell Lord Nogai of what was going to happen... but Yesui swore that there was a fondness he held for you in his eyes and besides... everyone else knew what was going on why not someone who would eventually come and possibly collect your sons?

The bike came to a stop just at the top of the hill they were on and the two of them went to go greet Lord Nogai as he took off his helmet and his dark brown nearly black eyes looked at the two of them as his black hair was tied back and now only being tussled by the wind. "And my two favorite girls!" He says with mirth and laugh as this was something you'd miss... no matter the occasion... he would be happy... he could make you laugh and make you savor life as easily as he rushes into battles with a smile on his lips and joy in his heart.

"So who is visiting the clan today." He says as you two tell him who is there and you can see the quirk in his eyebrow when you mention on how the Yeke are here.

"They normally don't visit around this time of year what's the occasion?" He says cocking his as Yesui elbows you and this causes Nogai to focus on you with a smile still on his face.

"I'm getting married to Sukh." You finally say feeling the pressure leave your chest like a hawk with a kill in its talons.

Nogai makes a half sucking in air half click of his tongue against his teeth sort of noise as his brown nearly black eyes look away as if processing that information. "So when will you be in your new husband's home?" He asks in an oddly worded way but you dismiss it as just him being above such things.

"Next year once the lambs are fat and weaned from their mothers." You say unenthused... you can't help but think how you'll miss Nogai as he comes around so often but you've been spoiled for attention... spoiled for his friendship.

He nods before putting his helmet back on, "Well we have many more times we can still converse and share some curds to eat." He says with his chipper voice. The two of them back away from the massive bike as he drives off with a simple goodbye and you sigh as you lean against Yesui.

"See that wasn't so hard." Yesui says as you .

"Yeah... you're right." But oh how wrong you were. Homecoming was a nightmare as you placed the baskets down and look at the family as one of your sisters comes by and slaps you screaming at you. Suddenly so many people were screaming at you as you were being talked to, talked down too... praised by your one grandmother as she kissed your cheeks holding your face just crooning happily. Your heart was hammering as you were brought home as you looked at your father and his wives.

"Sit." Was all he said and banished everyone else however grandmother took her spot in the yurt with a smile on her face as she looks around before gesturing to your father to start. He inhales looking at you sternly, "What did you do."

You look at your father confused, "I have been out in the fields-"

"Did you spread your legs for him too? Was Sukh not good enough?" One of the wives said.

"What?"

"Be quiet." Your father snaps to her before looking at you again. "Nogai. He came to the village as it sounds like you know. What did he say to you?"

You wonder what Nogai said... normally everyone was thrilled by his visits; though you saw him pass by and did not see a boy with him so no one was suitable enough to be taken for the space marines which would be cause for celebration. "He asked the normal affairs... I mentioned that I was getting married to Sukh of the Yeke..."

Your grandmother lets out her whistling laugh. As you watch your father sigh and everyone seems to shift in rolling emotions, "While I was talking with the Yeke... Nogai came and made his usual pleasantries..."

"He asked for your hand in marriage in front of the Yeke." Your grandmother interrupts laughing and you look at her shocked.

"He did what?" You manage to say.

"Don't play dumb! What did you do?! Why have you brought this upon us? You were suppose to get married and-" the second wife begins.

"Be quiet!" Your father snaps again and you just grip your dress looking confused. "Have you been seducing him behind our backs?" He says sternly.

"No!" You say quickly as you hardly have flirted with the warrior. Perhaps in passing... failed attempts from you before you were told whom you were to marry. The most scandalous thing you can think of is sitting in his lap as he let you ride on his bike with him and perhaps sharing some food with him letting him feed you some rich food as you shared your simple curds and other hand made meals for him. "Nothing I have done... I.. no I have been a good daughter." You say desperate to defend yourself. Your eyes glance to your mother but she refuses to make eye contact with you most likely cowing to the wrath of the second wife... you cannot read the indifference that exudes from the head wife... you can feel the mirth from your paternal grandmother. No one is happy with you... "Father-"

"Out. I need to think." He demands and like a good daughter... you obey. You stay away from your sisters who hold their wrathful mother's opinion... a whore. Is what you hear whispered... how dare you seduce an Astartis? When you knew your place. You feel the desire to cry but you decide to hold it all in until the next day during chores to cry... everyone else is called for meal... it is a brother that tells you that father still is upset and deciding your fate.

The wind is cold... as you sit outside just waiting as you soon hear that whistling laugh as a small portable pot is placed next to you. "Yesui would appreciate the extra food... given her moon blood is about to end..." She says with a small knowing smile.

"What did I do? What happened?"

She starts to laugh again petting your head, "Your father and the patriarch of the Yeke were finalizing your marriage to Sukh when Nogai entered. Jovial as always but like a trickster he hid his intentions close to his chest. He sat with them... ate and drank with them... showed your father one of his trophies from a great distant conflict... its a wonderful knife. Refused to take it back and when your father asked why. Nogai said it was his offering for your marriage. Everyone was stunned... and it only all fell apart after Nogai left. Personally dear I am happy for you my great aunt got married to a white scar. His second wife is angry at you..." She waves her hand, "Upset that not one of her daughters could catch his eyes but it was you."

"But I didn't do anything?" You say feeling the tears threaten the corners of your eyes.

"Why do you feel like you have to have done something? That's why my great aunt was chosen as I was told... they simply pick a person they like. Go eat with Yesui." She said petting your head one last time before you go over to her yurt and lucky for her she and her husband are willing to house you for the night.

The next month is miserable as your family sways between praise and condemnation... how she feels like more of an outcast and she practically flees to the field when she hears the Yeke are coming back around. Father seeing if he can't marry off another daughter... its all but guaranteed that Nogai will marry you but you feel so mad.

You avoid him when he comes in to the village but there is no avoiding him when he leaves as he parks his bike and comes to you. "Will you share a meal with me, Хонгор?"

You slap his chest ignoring the pain in your hand as hot tears roll down your cheek a months worth of anger. "Why are you so foolish!" You shout at the space marine as he sits down unfolding the bundle. He lights the small portable fire and sets a pot down on it reheating the meal as he is clearly listening to you but setting up his meal. "Why! Why have you done this!" He pours himself some fermented milk as he motions for you to sit, "NO! I will not! You have caused my family to be in an uproar over your actions! My father's 2nd wife is seething at me... my own mother will not defend me... the Yeke are threatening my family for making them look foolish!" Your tears roll down your cheeks as you're so mad at Nogai. "WHY!"

He sets down his mug, "I did not think my request would upset you. Perhaps I should have..." He mused his words... his eyes looking to the sky before softening, "I should have told you my intentions. And for that I apologize." You squirmed under his apology as this wasn't what you were expecting.

You wipe your overflowing eyes as you sob at the concern on his face... everyone who did support you had to do so softly and then you feel him wrap you up in a hug as you hug him back. "Why did you ruin everything?"

"Ruin?"

"This is what I was told I would do... told I would be! I was a good daughter and now my siblings are calling me names... I was slapped the day I came home! I was a good daughter!"

"You never stopped being good, Хонгор..." You feel the ghost of his lips against the side of your head. "My dear Хонгор... it will be alright."

"What wife will I be?" You say sniffling.

"Out of all of the wives I have had or currently." He says with a cheeky smile in his voice.

"I care not."

"You will be my first and so far only wife... so I suppose you'd be a head wife." He says pulling you back into the long grass with him his arms wrapped around you as you can smell the stew cooking hearing the bubbling of the contents inside the pot.

"Why..." You say softly listening to his hearts beat and of course he would hear you speak.

"Why else would a man take a wife? Yes perhaps to secure alliances... to secure cooperation between families..." He sits up with you and you feel his hand under your chin tilt your face up to look into his gentle brown eyes, "But I want you because I love you."

Your throat tightens as your eyes meet his as your breath is held for far too long... his mouth kissing just the corner of yours. "White Scars rarely take wives. My grandmother told me... you all are free spirits laughing... lovers you will take and like trickster spirits fleeting lovers... so-"

You are cut off as he takes your hand and presses it to his throat. Your hand trembles at the feeling of just his throat against your hand... you feel unworthy to hold it but he keeps it there as he leans in pressing his forehead to yours. "I offer you myself... I offer to be a kind and fair husband... I offer you my freedom."

"Nogai no." You say recoiling but he keeps your hand on his throat, his hand on your hip, keeping you close.

"Yes Хонгор. Listen to me... I give you my all. I give you myself." He says with devotion in his eyes, "I can take you away right now..." He whispers... "I gave your father payment for you... you can come away with me. It's all your choice..." His hands cup your face and you realize you're holding his throat all on your own. Your heart beating fast and hard as no mortal woman should have this much power... is this what your grandmother's great aunt felt when she was taken? Your heart and mind are racing as everything you've been taught... been told to sacrifice are all falling to the wayside as you pull yourself closer and kiss him.

A meal is shared between the two of you and you know he lingers longer than he normally does but you are unwilling to let him part... He tells you he will only leave when you dismiss him... and you let him linger... until it is so very late and he offers you to rest with him as he seems to have a small tarp to make a lean to with.

Perhaps you could be a little selfish?

#warhammer 40k #yandere space marine #yandere #space marines #white scar #yandere white scar

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the-air-nomad · 11 months

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Burning Destiny (part.2)

part 1 : https://www.tumblr.com/the-air-nomad/719741684747059200/burning-destiny?source=share

part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/the-air-nomad/721589459145080832/burning-destiny-part-3?source=share

How many years had passed? 3 or 4? You didn't even know anymore. The town where you hid was suspended in time, it seemed as if the 100-year war had not existed. This state was due to the lack of resources that made it unimportant both for the Fire Nation and for the Earth Kingdom. People were peaceful and welcoming to the rare visitors who ventured into their corner of the world.Although you appreciated the kindness of the townspeople, you always complained to Agni about the endless monotony. Every day you went to the market, then to the school where you worked as a teacher, then home.

It was a new day and you had just gotten out of bed. Confused, you looked out the window and noticed that the Sun was not yet in the sky. You were sure you heard a child crying. You slowly left the house and looked at the street. Not far from your house, a small child is staring in amazement at a boy no older than 12 years old. You thought it was just Li and his younger brother Taro and that the two of them were sneaking into your house to play a prank on you. Remembering that the last time they did this you lost an eyebrow you headed towards them wanting to scare them.You threw yourself at the older boy managing to immobilize him and pull his hat off his head to pull his ears. Both you and the boys screamed. The two were scared of you and you were scared of the blue arrow that adorned the head of the young man in your arms. The Avatar! You knew Agni hates you! If he is here, it means that the Fire Nation is not far away! You quickly send the smaller boy to his house and push the avatar towards your house.

Y/N: what are you doing here?! You're crazy?! The Fire Nation will destroy the whole city to find you!

Aang: Um, me and my friends stopped by to get some supplies ma'am..

Y/N: my name is Y/N, I'm one of the teachers in this town. I will help you stock up, but as soon as you do, you and your friends will leave. We have a deal?

The boy approves energetically and then bows respectfully. Y/N helps him cover his arrow and then they leave together for the market. There they meet two panicked teenagers dressed in Watertribe clothes. Y/N sighs, no wonder the Fire Nation always finds these kids. They don't even bother to change their clothes to blend in better with the crowd. The teenagers run towards the avatar looking suspiciously at the y/h/c woman. Y/N quickly explained the plan to them. She quickly buys them a good amount of food and other goods that could be useful to them on their journey. Then the woman offers them a bag with a reasonable amount of silver coins. The children hug her gratefully but she tells them that she is just trying to do her part in winning the war and advises them to run away quickly. You agreed to help them carry the supplies to their bison to make sure they would actually leave. There you met a small girl dressed in the clothes of the Earth Kingdom who seemed on the edge between panic and anger. The girl comes towards you and taps her foot accusingly.

Toph: what took you so long?! we have to leave quickly! The crazy princess and her even crazier friends are close. i feel the komodo rhinos approaching.

Y/N: Azula?! Run away from here immediately!

In a few minutes, the bison rises to the sky, and the noise of an angry Komodo rhino pierces the silence of the forest. The y/h/c woman tried to run away but it was too late as a circle of blue fire surrounded her.

Azula: what else do we have here? who are you peasant?

Y/N giggled bitterly. She takes a deep breath in her chest and turns to the princess.

Y/N: let's just say I'm not exactly a peasant my dear

The princess's face falls to the ground. All of a sudden, more expressions appear on her face than she has in years: insecurity, amazement, sadness, anger, happiness. The older woman looks at her with a broken smile and opens her arms in anticipation. The young woman throws herself into her arms and gives her a tight hug. Y/N sighs and returns the hug.Ty Lee and Mai also arrive and look at the scene in front of them confused. Then they analyze you and finally recognize you. Ty Lee quickly runs towards you and tries to join the hug but Azula angrily pushes her away then hugs you again. Y/N gives the girls an apologetic look and orders them to set up camp. After a few minutes, Azula moves away from you and begins to interrogate you. You sigh, feeling like you're talking to the old Ozai, this girl doesn't know how much she really resembles her father. But you hope that she will not go down the same path of destruction that her father decided to go down. You stop her talking with a wave of your hand. She blushes slightly and then regains the dangerous calm that is so characteristic of Fire Nation nobles.

Y/N: let's just say I needed a break from all the stress of the Palace. I have no excuse for my actions, and my only regret is that I felt like I left you alone. I know Zuko had Iroh, and your father deserved to spend some time and rethink his actions. But, I'm afraid that Ozai applied the tactic of blaming any other people besides himself.

Azula: You're saying my father was the reason you left? But why? He did nothing wrong!

Y/N: let's say that the two of us had some adult arguments. You are too young to understand, believe me.

Azula: I'm sure you'll sort everything out when we get to the palace.

Y/N: that's all I could wish for.

The journey to the palace was fast and tiring. Azula was getting more and more impatient with each passing day. If at first Y/N thought about a possible escape, an idea she gave up because she didn't want to hurt the three girls, then she reconciled with the idea that she would at least have a chance to roast Ozai a little for the Agni Kai with Zuko. Someone has to take the place of Ozai's heart until she returns from vacation, that is if she didn't die with Lu Ten. Y/N was starting to think that the second option was the most plausible of the two.

Arriving at the palace, Ty Lee and Mai went to their rooms and Azula hid Y/N in her rooms. Y/N tried to rest but that was almost impossible with all of Azula's talk. Y/N had already noticed from the trip that no one had paid attention to Azula, only to the wonder princess. The good part was that now Y/N knew everything that had happened in her absence. The bad part was that the only way Azula knew how to show her affection was to report all the useful information and do anything else despicable to get recognition. Okay, maybe there was another bad part. Azula had become worryingly paranoid, Y/N had noticed how Azula tentatively smelled and tasted her food before letting her eat, how she eyed the guards suspiciously, how she seemed to check on her every few minutes to make sure she hadn't disappeared.

After a few days in which Y/N tried with all her might to make Azula a little more relaxed, the day of truth arrived. Now she was outside the Fire Lord's chambers waiting for Azula to leave so she could enter. Azula had insisted on breaking the news to Ozai but Y/N didn't want to risk that psychopath venting his anger on Azula because of her actions. Azula left the room and told Y/N she could come in. Y/N stopped thinking and entered. Ozai was sitting at his desk reading a scroll. He didn't even bother to look up and said boredly:

Ozai: I hope you have a very good reason to bother me, Minister of Agriculture

Y/N: I look like an old man struggling to walk without a cane, Ozai?

Ozai gets up from the desk and for a few moments looks at the woman as if he saw Agni before him. The woman rolls her eyes but bites a sharp remark from her tongue. There are more important things than her pride at stake. She knows Ozai and knows that he is not extremely difficult to handle if you know what strings to pull. Ozai approaches her like a predator who doesn't want to lose his prey. She looks at him the way the old dragon tamers looked at a wild dragon. Yes, if she has to die, she will die fighting because she is a firebending master and is no longer afraid of burning herself.If the price to protect Azula and the rest of the world from this monster is her life, then she will pay it with a smile.

Although I do not own the characters from avatar the last airbender, this work belongs to me! I sincerely hope you liked it. please rate it and leave a comment! follow me to see my next posts! Don’t forget that the request are open💖💖💨

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Tell me if you want part 3!

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