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unearth [no outbreak!joel miller x virgin f!reader]

summary: When your normally strict parents go out of town for two weeks and leave you on your own for the first time with little warning, you're left reeling and afraid of being on your own for so long. Luckily, Joel Miller, your father's best friend, very generously offers to let you stay with him. Your long time crush on him shouldn't be a problem at all. ratings/warnings: E [smut, yearning, Joel is a little manipulative, loss of virginity, dad's best friend, nice big age gap (reader is 21, Joel is 40), liberal use of baby girl, religious trauma of the Christian variety (no denomination noted), reader wears a sundress, shaming of sexuality, bad relationship with reader's parents, insecurity, flirting, trouble orgasming, pussy pronouns (she/her), humping/grinding, masturbation, unprotected PIV, oral sex, references to early 00s media, soft Joel, i think that's it] wc: 6.1k a/n: please go to @ezrasbirdie-updates to be notified of updates! so i've had this idea for like a really long time but i thought maybe everyone had already done all this so i let it rot in the docs, and then i just suddenly felt the need to finish it. so happy birthday, pedro, i hope you never read this. for all the girlies (gn) with some leftover issues related to sex and purity culture, this is for us<3 special shout out to @mothandpidgeon for the feedback and to her, @swiftispunk, @haylzcyon, and @joeloverture for listening to me yap about this specific fic for months now.

masterlist | joel miller masterlist

It’s summer again.

Everything is sticky and hot and you’re out of class for another month and a half until your senior year in college starts. Finally—finally you’ll graduate and get out from underneath the thumb of two strict religious parents and live your own life.

You hope, anyway.

For the first time in your life, at twenty-one years old, they’re on a vacation without you. Really, it’s less a vacation and more of a marriage retreat—something to revive or restore or renew whatever good Christian couples do after twenty-five years of marriage. You’d only been half paying attention when your mother sprang this bit of news on you at their anniversary party, too focused on the idea of being home alone for two whole weeks starting Monday morning.

You’ve never been home alone for more than a night at most. The dark is scary enough with other people around. A day might be doable, but two weeks? All alone?

It’s not like you have anywhere to go, either. Your friends from school all live scattered around the country, and anyone you’d had a relationship with as a teenager isn’t the kind of person you want anything to do with now.

Typical of them, really, throwing you in the deep end and expecting you to figure it out when it’s finally convenient for them that you learn how to swim. They’d done the same thing when it came to driving, too.

“You’re an adult,” your father had said, after spending the last three years making sure you understood that he’s in charge and you are not an adult. “Figure it out.”

To your surprise, it was Mr. Miller to the rescue. Mr. Miller, your father’s best friend—one of those blue collar working man types that always has a little dirt under his nails. Mr. Miller and his t-shirts that hug the fullest part of his bicep and his big bear hugs that last a little longer lately. Mr. Miller who’s always made you trip over your sentences with his sweet brown eyes and big smiles.

He doesn’t like it when you call him Mr. Miller, but your parents are insistent about it. He’s never made his own daughter address them by their last names, something that’s always brought you great joy to observe. They’re obsessed with propriety, but not enough to confront someone else about it.

And you know why. It’s not about respecting one’s elders—they just want to control things. Mr. Miller—Joel—is not one so easily controlled.

You don’t really understand his friendship with your father, but you suppose it’s not your business to understand. You're not quite sure what close male friendships are supposed to look like, after all. Joel might not know a thing about your father.

When he offers you his home for the next two weeks, you don’t even think of declining, not even in the polite way your mother taught you. Decline once, and then accept. It makes no sense to you, but it’s “manners.” You don’t care about manners right now.

“Are you excited to have the place all to yourself?” He’d asked after your mom told you. Joel, apparently, knew about it all before you did. You shook your head.

“Not really. I’m a little scared of staying on my own for so long. I’ve never…I mean, they’ve never…”

He’d just nodded and you’d quickly grown embarrassed, wishing you’d just lied. His daughter was younger than you, off enjoying life on her own at UT so much that she’d found housing near the campus and stayed there, and here you are, worried about the dark.

Humiliating.

But then he’d bumped your shoulder with his and asked, “Why don’t you come stay with me for a couple weeks, sweetheart? I’m not around all that much when I’m workin’ a job, you’ll have all the privacy you need.”

“Really?” You asked. “I mean, my parents, I don’t know if they’ll—but yes! I’d really like that.”

You’d tried to keep your cool, tried not to act too eager, but it was useless. You’d been to his house before, but never alone with him. Not that you thought anything would happen, of course. He was just being kind to you, like he always has been.

He just wanted to make you feel safe.

It only takes you a few days to adjust. He leaves early in the morning and comes home late covered in sweat and dirt and sawdust. He meant what he’d said; you really do have all the privacy you need. You wish he’d give you less. Some nights, he sits with you in the living room and scarfs down whatever little meal you’ve made for him. Never anything fancy, just canned ravioli or a frozen pizza, but he looks so grateful every time you wonder how long it’s been since anyone did anything for him.

You might do just about anything for him.

A week into your stay, the heat is relentless—eighty nine degrees at nine o’clock, and even with the air running you can’t stand more than a tank top and a pair of flimsy shorts. You don’t think too much about your attire—it’s July in Texas, after all.

You’re in the living room watching American Idol when Joel gets home. He grimaces at the TV on the way to the kitchen.

“You like that show?” He asks a moment later, leaning against the doorframe with a beer in his hand. His dark hair is curled with sweat, and his jeans are even tighter than usual. How does he get any work done in those things?

“Just the auditions,” you say, shrugging. “Those have to be staged, right?”

He gives a noncommittal nod, coming to a halt in front of the couch. His eyes drag over your bare legs and up to your low cut top. “You warm, sweetheart?” He asks.

“A little,” you admit, suddenly very conscious of the way he’s looking at you. “It’s no big deal.”

He sits next to you, spreading his legs in that domineering way men do so that his jean-clad thigh presses against your leg. “Bet you’d do good on this,” he says, nodding toward the TV. “Pretty girl like you.”

“I can’t even sing,” you point out.

“Don’t matter,” he laughs. “With that face? That body? Shit.”

You bite your lip and let out a nervous giggle, too flustered at the idea of him looking at your body at all to answer. You like it, though—it sends a rush of arousal through you, and you cross your legs, hoping it disguises the way you squeeze your thighs together.

“Ah, shit,” he says softly. “I’m sorry, honey. That make you uncomfortable? I’m not tryin’ to be disrespectful.”

“No!” You quickly dismiss his worries. The last thing you need is him thinking you’re some little girl who can’t take a compliment. “Thank you, Joel. You’re very sweet.”

He brushes his knuckle over your bare shoulder and smiles. “You, too, sweetheart.”

Goosebumps flare over the skin he touches, but he doesn’t remark on it. Twenty minutes later, he’s somehow even closer to you, pressed right up against your side. He smells like outside, like he needs a long shower, but all that does is make you want him even more.

He gets up eventually, knees popping with a soft groan, and stretches. “All right, sweetheart, I’m gonna head on to bed. Can barely keep my eyes open.”

You stand, too, not ready to part with him just yet, but lacking any reason to keep him around. Instead, you reach past him for the remote and turn the TV off, pretending like you’re tired, too. You couldn’t be more awake.

Before you can even try to make yourself leave, Joel slides his fingers underneath the thin strap of your tank top. “This is a pretty thing,” he says. “You usually wear this around the house?”

You swallow. “Am I not supposed to?”

“‘Course you can,” he says, smiling at you and pulling his hand back. “Just can’t imagine your dad letting you walk around in something like this.”

“Well, I’m not a kid,” you say, slightly indignant. “It’s hot, so I’m wearing it. And I wear it at home, too.”

You’re lying.

“Attagirl. Just want you to be comfortable here, sweetheart.” Joel grins and squeezes your arm. You want him to squeeze everything on you like that.

That night you toss and turn, trying to stop the burning need in your belly. You cup your mound, too scared to try to give yourself any real relief, but you need something. Eventually, you fall into a restless, fitful sleep, haunted by vivid and dirty dreams starring Joel Miller.

The next morning you wake with an angry, insistent throb between your legs. The house is quiet—Joel must have left for the day already—and you know, without a doubt, you need to do something about the wet, sticky arousal between your legs.

It hits you that you finally can do something about it without fear of someone barging in, too. Your hand trails down your stomach, reaching into your panties, and you let out a long sigh of relief as you reach your hard, swollen clit.

It’s not so easy, though.

You rarely get a chance to do this, and you can count the number of successful orgasms you’ve had on one hand. It’s always so much work, and today is no exception, no matter how riled up you are.

You try every way you can think of—on your back, on your tummy, standing, sitting, laying down, fingers in, fingers out. Nothing works. You need something more.

And then, of course, there is the all-consuming guilt that eats at you, always. Even though you’re alone, even if he’s at work, you’ve been defiling yourself in the house he’s so graciously offered to you, and you can’t stop from thinking of him, touching yourself for hours until your fingers cramp and shoulders ache and you still can’t get there. Tears gather in the corner of your eyes.

You need this so much.

It’s been months now, maybe over a year since you’d come. Consciously, anyway. Sometimes you wake up after a particularly erotic dream soaked and twitching and furious. It’s not fair. Why not when you’re awake, too?

But you know that answer deep down. It’d been beaten into your head for years and years: no sex until marriage and no violating your body. It’s disgusting, only dirty girls do that, and you’re not a dirty girl. You were a good girl. You went to church, you did your chores, you babysat your neighbors’ kids for free, you did volunteer work.

You were a good girl.

Dirty girls have sex; they let men touch them in ways only husbands should. Dirty girls drink and smoke and won’t make it into heaven.

You’d been determined to make it into heaven, once. Now, you don’t care so much about some heavenly kingdom. You’re more interested in getting off.

You sigh and peel your sweaty body off your sheets. Maybe a shower will take your mind off all of this. A shower and a book in the living room, somewhere public enough to keep your hands off of your pussy.

The couch is overstuffed and suede, comfortable and squishy enough to take a nap on without waking up with a crick in your neck. You lay down and pull a book from your bag, intending on finishing all the assigned reading for your Women’s Fiction class before the semester begins.

Most of the books you’ve read for school, even the novels and short stories have been dry, dense classics—the perfect distraction. It might even put you to sleep.

After a while, though, you think you might be in trouble.

A description of a man’s hands has your whole body trembling. Joel has nice hands—large and veiny with a rough palm and calloused fingertips from years of working with wood and nails and power tools you couldn’t name, but that was fine. Maybe he’d show you one day.

Closing your eyes, you lay the book on your chest and breathe, trying to regain some control. You’ve lost every bit of control you’d deluded yourself into believing you’d had as Joel’s hands invade your consciousness.

He could teach you a lot with those hands, you think. You bet he knows a lot about pleasing women. Maybe he could even teach you how to please yourself.

You imagine him directing you in that firm voice, praising you for listening so well. Telling you how proud he is of you. That you’ve done such a good job, you’re such a good, sweet girl.

You hike up the little sundress you’d put on after your shower, trailing your fingers up and down your torso and focusing on how soft your skin is. They hit the book spine and a thought crosses your desperate, needy mind.

Maybe you need something firm.

Maybe your fingers are too soft, your touch too light, your pillows too squishy.

Jesus Christ, you’re possessed, contemplating nestling a book between your legs. You open one eye, peeking around for something to distract you from this, anything at all, but there’s nothing. It’s just you and your dirty mind.

You need to get out of the house.

But as you stand, holding the couch arm for balance, something clicks. Cushioned but firm. Not too wide, not too tall. Your pulse quickens, eyes darting around the room as if expecting someone to pop out, but it’s just you, and this might be exactly what you need.

Despite your solitude, you tiptoe up to your room to grab a used towel from the laundry basket, not wanting to get any of yourself on Joel’s nice, clean couch. You still have a few more hours till he’s home.

God, you really hope it doesn’t take that long.

You spread the towel over the arm and hastily remove your panties, so eager the left leg hole is looped around your ankle that dangles off the edge. There’s really no graceful way to do this, and you try not to think about how ridiculous you might look as you press your swollen pussy into the arm.

It’s…good.

Shit, it’s perfect; just enough pressure to make your legs tremble. You rock back and forth, feeling yourself getting wetter and wetter, slick pouring out of you as you try new angles and rhythms.

How had you never tried this before? You let out a soft moan, far too shy to be any louder than that, but it echoes through the room and the sound of your own pleasure spurs you on.

At first you don’t think of anything other than this feeling, that you want to feel like this always, like it’s some drug you’ve just discovered. But then you see brown eyes and dark hair with threads of gray, that divot in his lower lip as you imagine him taking what he wants, looming over you as he tells you, “Ain’t free to stay here, darlin’.” What else could you do but enjoy it? He’s too big and strong.

Your hips move faster, clit pressing into the surface below you, calves aching with effort. You can see him underneath you now, holding your thighs as you ride him. It always looks like so much work on the videos you’ve seen, but maybe if it feels anything like this it’d be worth it. You’re getting close to something now, arousal sticking to the insides of your thighs as you bite your lips to keep from crying out. You’re almost there, that coil in your belly tightening and tightening, oh, God—

Sunshine pours through the front door and your eyes fly open, suddenly face to face with Joel.

With Joel.

No, no, no.

You freeze and he stops short, eyebrows shooting into his hairline as he takes in the scene in front of him. There’s no way to make this look like anything other than what it is, especially not with your panties dangling pathetically around your ankle.

Common sense and burning shame tell you to cover yourself, run away, grab your bags and leave and hope he never ever ever looks at you ever again.

Fear, though, does something else entirely. Fear makes your body freeze, makes your eyes well up with horrified tears, waiting for some awful reprimand as you sputter out some pathetic excuse.

Dirty, bad, disgusting girl.

“I-I-“

The words stick in the back of your throat—there’s nothing that will make this situation any better. He’ll know you’re dirty, he’ll kick you out, he’ll tell your parents what an awful, disgusting—

“I’m sorry,” you sniffle, hoping it means something.

But he just shuts the door and kneels in front of you, cupping your burning face with his big hands. “Oh, no, no, nothin’ to be sorry about, baby girl. I shoulda told you I was comin’ home. You’re not in trouble, sweetheart, I’m not mad.”

You can hardly make sense of him as he gazes at you with those doleful brown eyes; all you know is that the panic has started to recede, replaced by a desperate, aching need.

“You’re not mad?” You ask, hot tears spilling over.

“Of course not,” he says, leaning in to press his forehead against yours and swiping his thumbs across your cheeks. “It’s only natural, baby. Feels good, huh?”

It fucking does, especially with this new feeling in your tummy and the smell of him invading your senses, woodchips and grass and some fading cologne.

“Mmhmm,” you sigh, not daring to move. “I just—I never—I’m never really alone for long enough to make myself—“

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “You can keep goin’ if you want, I don’t mind. Told you I wanted you to be comfortable here. With me.”

You start to rock your hips slowly, keening as he pulls your dress up and wraps his hands around your hips.

“Attagirl,” he murmurs. “I know that feels so good. You been needin’ this?”

“Yeah,” you gasp; you can barely get words out. “Needed—for a while.”

“That’s it, c’mon, it’s natural, baby. It’s so, so good for you.”

You whimper at his words, still too shy to make much noise, but it’s like he can read your mind. “You make all the fuckin’ noise you want, baby girl. It’ll make it better,” he promises.

“Joel,” you breathe, unthinking, focusing on what you think might be your first orgasm in ages. “Joel—“

“Let it happen, sweetheart. Let it happen. Don’t fight it. Look so pretty, baby girl, look so sexy. Good girl—“

That coil snaps, molten liquid gushing from you. You can hear noises coming from your mouth, but you can barely feel yourself making them. All the focus is on your wet, throbbing cunt.

Joel wraps his big arms around your shivering body when you come back down, kissing your forehead as he lays you on the couch. Your eyes feel heavy, body aching in a pleasant way.

“That feel better?” He asks softly, kneeling over you with one thigh between your legs. He could take what he wants now, you think idly. You’re all spread out and boneless, and if he pressed himself into you you’d have no defenses.

And you really, really want him to take it.

“Mm,” is all you can say with a dreamy smile on your face.

He reaches down between your legs and spreads your lips with two fingers. No one else has ever touched you there, and it makes you clench around nothing.

You’ve never had sex, but you understand you want him inside of you.

“Goddamn,” he says. “She’s a pretty little thing.”

Heat blossoms across your cheeks.

Joel watches your face as his middle finger slides down to your entrance, rubbing little circles around it and making you squirm. “Yeah?” He asks. “You want me to play with you more?” You swear something cracks in your neck at your vigorous nod and he grins. “You ain’t ever had anyone do this to you before, have you?”

“No,” you sigh, feeling your voice come back. You clear your throat. “I…you know how my parents are.”

He nods, frowning, and you fear the mention of them might have ruined the mood. But he’d asked, and you want him to know. To your relief, he doesn’t dwell on it.

“Are you sure, honey?” He asks.

“Do you…do you not want to?” You ask carefully, wondering if he’s trying to back out, if he’s trying to say he doesn’t want this responsibility.

“No, baby, I do. I really, really do,” he groans, still toying with your pussy. “Just want you to be sure. If it’s too fast—”

“I want it,” you say. Something desperate’s clawing at you, and you might explode if he doesn’t take it right now.

“Not doin’ this on the couch,” he says. “Gonna do this right.”

You almost tell him you don’t mind where he does it, just as long as he does it now, but he’s pulling you off the couch and leading you upstairs before you can say anything.

His room has been off limits until now—not as a rule, per se, but as a boundary you’d set. You suspect he wouldn’t have minded if he caught you in here poking around.

Joel pulls your dress over your head and unhooks your bra, humming as your breasts bounce out of their confinement. He admires your naked body, and you try not to tremble too much in front of him.

“You okay, sweetheart?” He asks, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

“Fine,” you murmur. “Just…nervous. Some of the girls I know said it hurts.”

“Not if I do it right,” he says. “Might be a little pinch, but shouldn’t be a big deal. If it is, you tell me, okay, baby girl?”

He’s so sweet it makes you ache.

He pulls your nipple into his mouth and you arch into him, surprised and pleased at the new sensation.

Joel chuckles and presses a chaste kiss to your nose. “Here’s what I’m gonna do,” he says. “I’m gonna eat your pussy for a while, see if we can get you more relaxed, and then I’m gonna stretch you out on my fingers. And then I’m gonna fuck you. Gonna try to make your pretty little pussy come all over my cock, all right? That sound good?”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “I—Can you kiss me?”

He smiles and noses your cheek, slotting his lips with yours. He slides his tongue across the seam of your lips, and you let him, following his lead as he licks into your mouth.

A new, shuddering wave of arousal makes you wetter and wetter, and Joel presses his fingers against your clit and rubs. And oh, fuck, it feels so much better than when you do it, his firm strokes sending shockwaves through your body. He pulls his fingers away and sucks on them, and you whine at the loss of attention.

“Shhh,” he murmurs. “Gonna take my time with you, remember? Wanted this for a long time, baby girl.”

“Really?” You ask.

“You think I hang around for your old man’s pleasant company?”

You giggle.

“Might not be able to let you go after this,” he says, kissing down your neck. “Might not want to.” He exhales a shaky breath. “Fuck, baby, can’t believe you’re lettin’ me do this.”

“Can I see you?” You ask, and he nods, shucking off his shirt and unbuckling his belt as quick as he can. You’ve never seen a naked man in real life, and he might have just ruined you for anyone else.

You don’t know where to look, eyes trailing from his broad shoulders to his firm biceps, down to his soft belly and narrow hips. Nestled in the middle under a thatch of dark curls is his hard, leaking cock, red and throbbing under your gaze. Your mouth waters, wondering what it tastes like, what it feels like in the palm of your hand.

You’ve read a million books with a million descriptions of thick, pulsing members, seen pictures in magazines and once, when you were feeling particularly brave, on the internet, but nothing prepared you for how much you’d crave it the moment it’s in front of you.

Maybe it’s not all of them—maybe it’s just his.

“Can I touch it?” You ask.

“Fuck,” he groans. “Yeah, yeah baby girl, you can touch it.”

It’s heavy, warm and smooth in your hand as you stroke him timidly. He moans softly, flashing an encouraging smile. “Can I taste it?” You ask, thumbing his leaking slit.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, nodding. You lick up the back of it before engulfing the head in your mouth, sucking softly and moaning at the salty taste of his precome.

“All right, sweetheart,” he chuckles, pulling you off. “This is about you, and you’re gonna make me come if you keep on with that.”

You want to make him come, though.

But you do as you're told, only pouting a little. He pulls your legs apart, throwing your legs over his shoulders to get as close to you as he can. He inhales and shudders, and you hope that’s a good thing.

“Fuck me,” he says. “Smell so good. Just needs some attention, hm? Look at her, she’s drippin', poor thing.” He seems to be talking directly to your pussy now, and it makes you a little lightheaded with desire. “Think she needs my tongue. Think she needs to come again, get her all ready for my cock.”

He licks you from entrance to clit, groaning the moment he gets his tongue on you. His noises rumble through you, and he presses his finger gently inside of you.

This is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. It’s all slick and wet, the flat of his tongue pushing against your swollen clit as his finger massages you open. He brushes something inside, something you’ve never felt yourself, and you cry out his name.

“There she is,” he murmurs. Your vision blurs, squeezing the sides of his head with your thighs. He keeps going, unrelenting, replacing his finger with his tongue as you buck against his face. “That’s right, baby, take it, take what you need.”

You can barely hear him, too lost in the sound of blood rushing in your ears as you snap again, gushing and gushing around his tongue. He works you through it, whispering praise as you tremble underneath him. It feels so good, it all feels so good—how had it taken so long to make it work?

Joel crawls up your body until he’s caging you with his arms, kissing you with all your slick on his lips. “Good girl,” he says. “Took what you needed, came so hard for me.”

You can barely speak, but you do have one request.

“Fuck me,” you beg, because you’ll die if he doesn’t. You need him, no matter much it might pinch or sting in the beginning, you need to be full of him. “Please, Joel, I’ve needed you for so long. I need you, I need you—”

He kisses your face, wiping away overwhelmed tears. “Okay, baby, shh. You’re okay, I got you, gonna make you feel good. You need me?” He asks. There is something soft and vulnerable in the question. You wrap your arms around his neck.

“Need you, Joel, always wanted it to be you,” you sigh against his lips. He cradles you close, holding you like you’re made of glass.

“You want me to get a condom?” He asks.

You shake your head urgently. “I’m on the pill.”

He only hesitates for a second before he coaxes your legs open and lifts your hips, shoving a pillow underneath until you’re exposed and spread out for him. You feel him notch the fat head of his cock against you and you snake your hand down to feel it, opening yourself even further for him.

It’s a stretch to be sure, but you’re so wet and relaxed he slides in with minimal resistance. Nothing burns, nothing stings, nothing even pinches—it just feels incredible. The noise he lets out is obscene, long and growling, with his eyes trained on where your bodies join. “Wish you could—fuckin—see this—” He says, shallow thrusts punctuating each word. “Your pussy’s so—fuckin’-perfect, baby girl.”

He’s rubbing against that spot again, the one that had you keening earlier, but you find the area to be even bigger with his thick cock brushing it back and forth.

Is this really the feeling you’d been shamed for your whole life? This euphoria, this overwhelming connection to someone you’ve cared about for so long? This was the bad, horrible sin that would damn you for eternity?

It doesn’t make any sense.

It feels so good tears you start crying again, overwhelmed with every tremor and tingle and shock of arousal. This can’t be wrong—it can’t be—and there’s so much freedom in this knowledge.

Above you, Joel’s eyes are closed in what you think is concentration, and you bring your hand to his jaw to stroke his beautiful face. He can’t know what he’s done for you, what he’s still doing for you, but you can at least make him try to understand. His eyes fly open at your touch, brows knitting in concern at your tears.

“Baby, do I need to stop? Does it hurt?” He asks, slowing his pace.

“No,” you gasp. “Keep going. I just—it feels so good, Joel. You’re making me feel so good, didn’t know it would feel so good.”

He readjusts your hips and hits you at a new angle. “My good, beautiful girl,” he moans. “Think you can come again, pretty girl? What do you need from me?”

“Faster,” you beg. You bring your fingers to your clit, still sensitive from earlier, and circle gently at first. And then it builds and builds, and he hits you deeper and deeper, until you feel it happening again. It’s smaller, weaker than the others, but that’s okay, too.

“That’s it,” he moans. “Attagirl, gettin’ so tight, you gonna come for me? Come on, baby, know you got one more—oh, fuck—”

He stops as you clench around him, crying his name again and pulling his lips to yours. Joel swallows all your cries, whispering soft praise as you clench and spasm around him. “Sweet little pussy just needed someone to treat her right, huh? Oh, you needed that so bad. I’m so fuckin’ proud of you, baby girl, gushin’ all over my cock.”

He starts to move again, chasing his own high and massaging your tits as he does. “Love these,” he murmurs. “Gonna come all over these one day.”

One day.

“Joel,” you whisper, looking into his eyes. “Please.”

He groans loudly and you feel him come with his face buried in your neck. “Fuck, baby girl,” he pants, collapsing on top of you as he finishes.

He pulls out of you, and there’s a soft ache in your chest at the disconnect. Will your heart always feel like a bruised peach afterward, or is it just because it’s your first time? Is it just because it’s him?

And there’s that whole thing—the fact that it’s him at all.

Your heart thuds dully against your ribs, all the dopamine and euphoria crashing into harsh reality. It’s not like anything can really happen between the two of you.

“What is it?” He asks, pulling you into his bare chest. “Why’re you thinkin’ so loud?”

He’s looking at you with soft eyes, tracing his finger down your nose and cupping your jaw. “Y’okay?”

Joel’s not usually so forward.

Well, that’s not entirely true. He’s not usually so forward with you.

He’s not the type to chase college tail, or be inappropriate with someone young enough to be his daughter. He’s not that guy, despite Tommy’s constant ribbing over Joel’s interest in you.

He doesn’t know when you went from girl to woman or when he finally noticed it. He just looked up one day and you were incredible enough to make him stick around despite his increasing impatience with your father.

He almost feels guilty when he invites you to stay. It’s not that he has any nefarious intentions—not really. Whatever happens, happens. He really does just want you to feel safe.

But then you make him little meals and walk around in your little shorts and it makes him insane, it makes him do things he shouldn’t even think about. It makes him touch you, tease you, flirt with you in ways he knows you don’t really understand.

And then he catches you.

He catches you in the middle of the day, desperate enough to grind your hot little pussy against the arm of his couch, and what else can he do when you look so pretty and small and scared but encourage you?

He wants you to feel all the pleasure you can, even if it means guiding you there himself. He can’t imagine being twenty one and all pent up, no outlet of relief for that little swollen cunt. How awful it must feel to walk around dripping wet and needy; he doesn’t want that for you. He wants you to feel safe and pleased and satiated, and if he’s the one to do it, then so goddamn be it. If it makes you happy, he doesn’t much care what people think.

Right now, though, you don’t look happy. Your brows are pinched in thought, head cocked in his direction but not quite meeting his eyes. He curls his index finger under your chin, pulling you gently to look straight at him. “What’s wrong, baby girl?”

You smile at the name and it warms him. “Just…nothing, really. Just don’t know what happens now. Like, with us. Or if this is it, or—”

“This ain’t it,” he says, more insistent than he intends. “I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t mean to stick around.”

Your whole body melts, like he’s just taken a solid ton off your shoulders, and you lean into him. “Really?” You ask. “I understand if it’s too much or too weird, you know. I know guys don’t like it when girls get clingy, so I promise I won’t.”

His heart aches at how earnest you are.

“Don’t you worry a thing about that, sweetheart. I don’t scare so easy,” he murmurs, leaning in for a kiss and nosing your cheek.

“And you don’t think I did anything wrong?” You ask.

He frowns. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t think I’m dirty now?”

Joel can tell he needs to phrase his next sentence very, very carefully. “No, darlin’. You enjoyed yourself and there’s nothin’ wrong with that. No matter what you’ve been told, all right?”

You nod, not fully convinced, he thinks, but convinced enough. He pulls you in for another kiss—he could distract you from those thoughts, at least. You sigh against his lips, yielding easily to his tongue, and for a while he just kisses you.

He should’ve done this first; should’ve taken it slow and gotten you used to everything over a period of time, but he’s never claimed to be a selfless man. He lets you explore his mouth and massage his tongue with your own, patient and more than willing to help you figure out what feels good to you. He could do this all day, all week, all month—hell, if he knew Tommy wouldn’t come looking for him he’d just take the next week off and teach you everything you’d ever need to know.

You moan into his mouth and his cock twitches with interest, apparently recovered from earlier exertions. He grabs your thigh and pulls, urging you into his lap and smiling against your lips at the gasp you let out when you feel his cock nudging at you.

“Joel,” you murmur. “Joel, can we do it again?”

He cups the back of your neck and squeezes softly. “Of course, sweetheart. Need more already?”

“Yeah,” you breathe. “Is that okay?”

“‘Course it is, darlin’. How ‘bout we try somethin’ different this time?”

You nod vigorously as his hands slide down your body and squeeze your hips. “Yes, please. Please, Joel, teach me everything, I wanna know everything.”

Joel shudders underneath you.

“Say it again,” he growls, lining his cock up with your messy pussy and bottoming out.

“Teach me,” you gasp. “Please.”

a/n #2: if i had a nickel for every fic that had someone getting caught fucking a couch i'd only have two nickels but it's weird that it happened twice, right?

dividers by @saradika-graphics

#tbr

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