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#I mean how do I even explain to my therapist that my only good friends ended with me skipping school the last days bc I thought one died.

tarotwithavi · 2 years

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what effect do have on others?

My Masterlist ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ paid services

Disclaimer : for entertainment purpose only .

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

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PILE 1

I am hearing the word LOVE~ it's either that you make people feel loved and make them love themselves. You inspire people. Like really there's something about you that makes people feel extremely positive. Wow, I really admire you guys. I'm getting that you might be the therapist friend? You inspire people to do what they love and follow their passion. You follow the motto that nothing is impossible . Idk why but I'm getting that when you do something others go like " If pile 1 can do this, I can too" . Your energy makes people want to change like they want to change for the better . You may have an earth moon.

And I'm also getting that you make people fall in love with you. People fall in love with your personality and how you carry yourself . People may get attracted to you just because of your beauty but they fall in love with your personality. You are the perfect combination of beauty and brains. You're very self disciplined and you pamper yourself. I'm getting that you make people come out of their shell. you might have go through a lot or endings and may get tired around a lot of people . You are a social butterfly on the outside but an sleeping bag at home lol.

If you wonder why you attract only messed up people and the people who are mostly depressed trust me man I don't know too 💀 #webothmessedup . Jk it's because you are healed and you trigger those who are not healed yet . You might attract a lot of energy vampires or toxic people. So please protect yourself and your energy.

And one last thing,

YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY AF. like I was trying to not type it but I couldn't control myself.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 2

I'm hearing the word Luck for this pile. You bring a lot of luck in other people's life. Like there could be black clouds and thunderstorms everywhere but then you enter the room and BOOM sunshine and rainbows everywhere. Its funny how I'm trying to explain this. But one thing you make people speechless. You might even look different from the people in your area or just that you have a very unique aesthetic that no one in your are has. You might even speak two or more languages and people find that amazing.

T, O, M, R, A I'm getting these initials for some reason. Wait, they make AMOR which mean love in French . Maybe some of you are learning French or just have some sort of connection with France. I'm getting that you might give French artist vibes to people. It also makes RAM which is the name of one hindu God. Let me know if you see more words . You might have a lot of knowledge about different cultures . Also it's random but you look good in blue or shades of blue. Are you a middle child? Just asking.

Okay a lot of tarot readers in this pile , so hello to the tarot readers of this community! Honestly this pile has some abilities with tarot or could become famous in tarot community. Also you're very mysterious to others , they want to know you more and what's going inside your head.All I'm getting is Knowledge, intelligence, brilliance, a lot of intellect. You guys have a lot of unique and weird ideas . Sometimes you brain makes people go like "are you serious rn? " . You are always thinking about new things and you might over think a lot. Pile 1 and 2 are giving siblings vibes.

One last thing

YOU LITTLE WORKAHOLICS AND PERFECTIONISTS PLEASE GIVE YOURSELF SOME REST!!! It's okay to be lazy sometimes.

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PILE 3

Sjjsjsjs this group is femme fatal , if you don't know what that is, google it up. But yeah people tend to put you on a pedestal. People are ready to worship you like literally, they are ready to bow down to you. Because ya know you focus on yourself and never give other much of your time and keep people wanting for more. And that makes them obsessed with you. But this burdens you because you don't want this. You just want to work, earn, enjoy. Just to let ya know , two boys are extremely obsessed with you.

You make people fall for you at the first glance. I'm hearing " You're one you're two✌" . You are their first and you're their second. There's no one who has the same amount of charm as you. Even the people who look emotionless and reserved will fall for you. You fill their heart with love till it overflows. And they can't control their feelings for you. They feel instant connection with you.

K, L, W, V are the initials I got for you. You embody the Girlboss energy. Like the rich CEO who is also pretty AF. You guys are filled with confidence and know your worth and that's very ahem hot to others. You're also very grounded and don't like to show off. A lot of you could be leo. I just heard Dove, you might like dove or just give their vibes.

One last thing

Stop being so hot all the time Momma 😫💀 . Alright that was weird but I hope you get the point ;)

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elismor · 3 days

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I see a lot of posts going by about comments and kudos and hits and...well... I've been thinking about the three quite a lot lately--as both a fic author and someone who spends a lot of my professional life looking at web metrics and determining which are actually important/accurate measures of user engagement.

Mileage varies, of course. And this is all just MY opinion, so do feel free to ignore it wholesale.

What I think when I see someone say that sorting by a hits to to kudos ratio is a good way to find "good" fic:

Hits are a measure of quantity (how many times your story or art has been viewed), but without knowing how AO3 defines a hit, it's actually kind of a meaningless number. We know that our own views of our work do not count toward hits, but...if my BFF looks at my story 7 times in one day because she keeps trying to read it but getting interrupted...is that one hit, or seven? And if it's seven, then the numbers are artificially inflated because it's really just Bestie trying to get her Codex fix. And...if Bestie looks at it three times today and four tomorrow...is that 7 hits total, or two?

Some transparency on the part of AO3 could clear this up handily, but until we get that...shrug. All it is is a number that may or may not be an accurate reflection of how many actual people looked at the page your fic is on. Did they READ it? Or did they nope out? No way to know.

Kudos are intended to be slightly more qualitative, but there is no way of knowing why the reader gave them. (Similar to likes here on tumblr.) It might be that they loved the piece. It might be a simple acknowledgement that the reader was there. It might even be a pity kudo. We have no way of knowing. It's, again, just a number.

Obviously, everyone is free to interpret both hits and kudos as positive reaction/interaction. I might do that myself if I didn't spend my workdays explaining to people that 50,000 "hits" to the website could be 50K people who came to learn about us or...simply the result of the computer labs on campus having the university homepage set to default.

Bigger numbers are just that....bigger numbers.

Comments are the only objective way to judge how someone is reacting to your fic or art.

So, what then? Sort by number of comments?

You can do that, sure. (I think. I confess I have never once gotten the AO3 search to work as well as people rave about.) But do keep in mind that many authors answer their comments. So, something with, say, 20 comments may be 20 people telling the author they loved it. Or it might be ten people and ten author-replies. OR, it might be three people having a conversation in the comments. You have to look and see.

Bigger numbers are just bigger numbers.

Okay, fine Elis. What am I supposed to do then?

Look, I'm not your mother or your therapist and you are free to assign whatever meanings you like to these things. I, personally, find "good" fic through a combination of things including: recs, the fandom grapevine, dumb luck, events, and just...reading some of it and not feeling guilty if I nope out for some reason.

This all sounds a little depressing when laid out like this, huh? Especially when you take into account the downward trends in interacting and the rise of folks treating fic and art as content to be consumed.

Here's what I have learned from writing fic for 30 years (well, 28 and counting):

As an author (and an artist, I would presume), you have absolutely no way of predicting which of your work will land and take hold and which will not. It's alchemy and luck and the weird (and not actual) algorithm of fandom. Sometimes, the piece you whipped out in 30 minutes and posted on the fly will land in the right person's inbox and they will share it and their friends will share it and it will get big. Sometimes, the piece you slaved over for weeks and weeks will do that...sometimes it won't. Sometimes your genius manifests and resonates, sometimes it does not.

My personal favorite fic of my own--the one I think is probably the best thing I have done in SW fandom-- has like 8 kudos and 4 comments (2 of which are my responses). Is it disappointing? Yes. Is it an indication that the fic is objectively "bad"? No.

The mercenary in me suggests that if you want to get lots of comments and kudos, you should pick the pairing that is THE pairing in the fandom and write for that--because that's where the eyeballs are, because that's where the connections are. But that is not why I write, so it's just that--a very mercenary way of looking at things. Not that there is anything WRONG with doing it that way. Supply and demand run the world. If the people want Codywan and you want the people....give them Codywan. No shame in that.

And there is no shame in wanting or seeking validation for your work, either.

But it breaks my heart to see authors (and artists) give up on themselves when they do not receive piles of kudos and comments. It's not you. It's...the luck of the draw. It's...fandom. It's...an artificial and murky set of measurements that have almost no basis in anything meaningful.

Keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing. You are what you make, not how people respond to it.

#let's talk about fic baby #fandom #kudos and comments

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hazelnut-u-out · 4 months

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What would your ideal Morty therapy appointment look like (assuming that he went alone)? 🤔

Going to try to answer this even though my brain feels like mush, lol.

So, there are quite a few things I'd like to see. Obviously, I wouldn't expect a single episode to actually tackle every aspect of what therapy would realistically look like for a character like Morty, but hey-- at this rate, every episode aside from 'Fear No Mort' that's attempted to psychoanalyze him hasn't done the best job, I fear... *cough cough*

Anyway, here are some of the things I'd like to see addressed in an actual therapy setting (importantly, not some other form of psychoanalysis, like the Fear Hole, Roy, etc.):

Autism/Pilot Disability

It bothers me every day that the writers never followed up on that throw-away line about Morty having a disability in the pilot. Obviously, I headcanon that he's autistic (I mean, surely that's half of the dynamic with Rick right there, lol). I personally think that Rick and Morty have some autistic traits that present to the opposing extremes. For example, I think Rick struggles with hypo-empathy and Morty with hyper-empathy. I think Rick excels in math where Morty excels in English/literature. I think Rick struggles to mask and Morty is high masking. Rick just doesn't people please to survive in the same way Morty has been socialized to. (Most of this is my interpretation of the characters, but there are scenes that back up my points, as I'm sure you've caught onto, haha.) I think it would be cool to see Morty open up about feeling ostracized from his peers, struggling to make friends his own age, struggling with feelings of being 'behind'/weird/awkward, and how all of that made him the perfect victim. This is probably the least likely of my wants to be addressed in a therapy setting. I think that if they confirm it, it'd be in a pretty lowkey way, similar to what they did with Rick. I think the cold open for 'Mort: Ragnarick' might've actually been an indication that Morty isn't neurotypical, but we knew that already. I actually sort of headcanon Goldenfold's class as a remedial math course because of how simple the math seems to be, though I'm sure it was initially just some math they threw in for the pilot.

2. Grooming...

This is a tough one to include. Morty has been with WAYYY too many older women throughout the course of the show, but Planetina in particular gives me the chills. I would love to see how that's impacted him, or maybe even how his abusive dynamic with Rick and his neglectful relationship with his parents pushed him into that vulnerable position even more.

3. Mommy Issues (or neglectful parenting in general)

This one is a good follow-up for the last one. Morty's dynamic with Beth in 'A Rickconvenient Mort' is something I literally get up in the middle of the night just to think about. It makes my chest ache. I think it's because I know exactly how it feels to be Morty in that situation. When your parents constantly downplay your own feelings, put you in dangerous/vulnerable situations with reckless abandon, and completely shut you out emotionally it can feel like they just want to ruin your life when they try to protect you. To be honest, the show's dynamic wouldn't exist without Beth's negligence. Morty has two moms and neither of them have really tried to protect him. Even Jerry failed him.

4. Crying.

Idk, just lots of it. He deserves to cry about whatever he wants and be validated.

5. Justifying Rick's Actions

I would LOVE to see Morty try to explain Rick's actions away to someone who actually cares if he's being abused. I could see Morty say something to a therapist, there be a negative reaction or uncomfortable silence, and him try to say: 'It's really for my own good, though, you see...'/'You just don't know Rick the way I do. I'm the only one who really gets him...'/'It would break Mom's heart...'/'He would never hurt me on purpose...' Then to have a professional get in there and really debunk that internalized manipulation? I would die (in a good way).

5. Trauma Responses

They've sort of been hinting at this for a bit, but I think the whole point of Rick's improvement-- at least, in Morty's case-- is 'too little too late.' Rick may be getting better, but how is Morty supposed to trust him? Especially when Rick has been 'nice' for the express purpose of hurting him before? Even in his everyday life, I'm sure he has those moments of anxiety/dread/odd behavior because of the shit he's been through.

There's more, but my brain is fried right now, so maybe I'll revisit this ask later. Anyway, this was fun to think about! Thanks for asking! <3

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #asks

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libraryraccoon · 4 months

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If I was at NRC as a normal student (not Yuu)

If I was in the NRC, i will be a Ignihyde Student (bc the official test tell me I was a Ignihyde student), the extrovert or ambivert of Ignihyde.

Aka the Ignihyde student hated by all the other Ignihyde student :DD

I will try to adopt Ortho.

Raccoon : Sign just here.

Ortho : isn't it a adopt pap-

Raccoon : shhh, you don't need to know or say what it is. Sign just. :)

Idia seeing me trying to adopt legally his little (dead and robot) brother : What the fuck-

I will be here for the Overblots.

But not for help, oh no no !

Ace : What is it ?

Raccoon : pop corn.

Deuce : Why are you eating pop corn when there is an overblot in front of you ?!

Raccoon : because it's better to watch with pop corn ? I thought everyone know that.

I would be absent from sports class. Vargas met me once in the corridors but that's it. I would never have shown up to this (torture) class.

I'm pretty sure Vargas won't even know I exist.

Vargas : Raccoon ? We have someone here who have that name ?

Jack : it's maybe the raccon that is in the trash at the back of the school ?

Ace : Oh yeah, I have seen that little guy once. But why he will be on the call list ?

(They are talking about a real raccoon, not me-)

I will doxx people for money. It's said.

Hey, I need to make money you know ? And I don't have a Leona for that like Ruggie-

Oh yeah because Ruggie will be my best friend here.

(We are the NRC cleaners, Crowley pays us to do all the cleaning)

I have seen a post saying that some beastmens and faes are awake the night and go see each others, even if I will be a human, I will join them.

Like that I will meet (and have informations) on a lot of beastmens and faes.

(Me ? Later blackmail them about this ? Please, be realistic, I care about my life ! But for a little money....)

I will be the only Ignihyde student AND human that will be at that "night party" (we will call it like that), and it's because I was invite by Ruggie (bestfriends benefits).

Now, for some of my hc as Ignihyde students, I headcanon that all the Ignihyde student have one time by months a party on a game with all the dorm.

And during that party, they do a lot of challenges. And that leads to some Drama and rivalry.

I'm pretty sure it's at that party that we decided who will be the Housewarden and Vice Housewarden.

The Housewarden being the 1st and vice the 2nd.

And some others things :

•I will be the NRC therapist.

I'm a good listener and I give good advices.

Pretty sure Crowley tried to hire me after finding out.

That mean I will be the therapist of all the overblotter (oh look ! I have now a lot of ennemies because I talk bad about their family/what they think-).

I would use the excuse of being a school therapist to avoid doing sports. At least I have an excuse and I won't have repercussions for (skipping) being absent from sports class.

Bye bye Vargas ! Seeing you one time in the corridors was enough for me !

•I probably would have made a contract with Azul and I would have taken Ruggie to do one too (well, that's if he and I are in first year at the same time).

Why ? For money ofc.

We will work for the Mostro Lounge only for the money.

•I will avoid the Leech (well, try to avoid them).

They scared me.

How people can not have scare of them is a question without answer for me.

•I will be hate of Vil and Riddle (even if we don't count the therapist part).

I have a bad memory, i don't care about my physic.

I can easily forget the rules, so Riddle will hate me for forget all the Queen rules but also all the NRC rules in general.

And I can literally go shopping in unicorn pajamas. Vil worst nightmare.

•Rook 🤝🏻 Me : watching people.

Nothing else to say here. It explain all by itself.

•Unexpected friendship : Me & Idia & Rook.

Every Sunday evening at the end of the week we would meet up at the Pomefiore or Ignihyde dorm and tell each other all the NRC gossip. We would have tea, cookies, popcorn and hot chocolate, and lots of gossip to be told.

Nobody in the NRC know how much we know or how we know it. They don't want to know.

•My magic.

I will have an healing magic or a anti-magic. That's all.

I don't need more magic than those two.

•I will try to adopt Grim.

Maybe Yuu too. I just want to adopt them + Ortho because they deserved all the love.

I will have a gun.

I love gun.

•Knowing too much.

If I go at NRC, even with magic, with all I know of the game and the theories ? Man, I will be the more suspicious of the all NRC, more than Rook !

I will say things like that :

Raccoon : Man, you really is an overblotter now that I see you that often !

Crowley : ??? How do you know-

Raccoon : you're dad, Levan, is Crowley. Good chance bro, we're not together in that shit-

Malleus : The fuck child of men-

Raccoon : what that feel like to be a general ?

Lilia : kid, why that question and how do you know ? I don't remember saying it to you-

Raccoon : when will you accept that you are Silver, Sebek and Malleus parental figure ?

Lilia : ... i'm not-

Raccoon : wait- we are before Malleus overblot, so that mean you are still in the denial right now.

Lilia : by the great sevens.. WHAT THE FUCH RACCOON ?!-

Me, Idia and Rook the Sunday.

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igotanidea · 1 year

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Batboys x PTSD!gn!friend

@ultravioletqueen asked me about my opinion on how batboys would act/be with someone who's has positive and optimistic character but on the other side deals with the PTSD (like Yui Komori, for those who watches anime). so here's what I think:

Dick

Our golden boy has an oldest daughter complex and is a people pleaser. No denying that. So, if he was to deal with someone who’s generally sunshine and rainbow but has a traumatic past I imagine him getting in his full-care attitude. Every time he sees that person getting lost inside their own head or triggered he would come right in, safe them from whoever or whatever they are dealing with and offer safe space. Maybe alongside with some dad jokes and intentionally bad puns to make them feel better, but that’s only if he knows it would be ok. If not, he would just stay with them, making sure they are all right, maybe cuddling or just giving them silent reassurance that while he’s with them nothing wrong can ever happen and that they are safe. He's a savior in the literal meaning of the word.

Jason

If anyone knows something about PTSD it’s Jason since he himself has been through hell and back. I think that at first he would be distant around the other one with PTSD since every time something triggers them and they fall into the traps of the past events, it would remind him of his own trauma. So initially he would just keep his distance and try to act indifferent. But after a while, when he notices all the patterns they repeat he would step in. He may not show it, but he cares. And if there’s anything he can do to prevent them from making the same mistakes with reliving the nightmare, he would do it. Unlike Dick, though, he would not wait for it to pass, rather find something to keep their mind busy. Training, books, patrol, whatever. It’s like his silent way to show them the past is in the past and they have to move on with their life.

Tim

Tim is the most analytical one in the family so I definitely see him as someone who would dig in PTDS person past to get to the bottom of the problem. Is it intrusive? Most definitely, but it has never stopped him before, and besides he has all the good intentions in mind. So, when he figures out the issue he would come up with like a dozen of plans to make it go away, using psychological methods. But don’t be mistaken, he would never turn into a therapist, that’s not his style at all. I believe he would rather act like the knowledgeable friend he is. Fully aware about the triggers and how to avoid them, what words not to use, what memories are painful. He has it all figured out and even if he does not show all the work he made with it, he would be the first to notice the signs of trauma coming back and stop it before it fully starts.

Damian

Well, he’s a former assassin and the youngest one so I don’t think he would be familiar with PTSD until any of his brothers explained it to him. Obviously he would just shrug it off and act like nothing ever happened, not fusing about it or treating the person with that disorder any differently than before. And basically that is just it. And to be honest I think that this would be one of the most beneficial approach in the case. He’s not as tuned into emotions as his brothers, he would have no idea about the symptoms or triggers and would just act like his normal self, talking to the person or bickering. And that, that would be a way to make the PTSD person come down to earth. In their head they may be going through drama, panic and anxiety but a few teasing words from Dami would make them wake up from it and realize that whatever they were projecting was not real.

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ash-says · 25 days

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I think your page speaks volumes about the way you’ve perceived and endured life and I’m sorry you haven’t had the time or opportunity to soak up the good things that are all around you, I hope you develop skills that allow your success to be built off of things that are good and pure and not cheap manipulation tactics and lies

Devil may care: A guide on being unbothered.

Okay, and??

Sweetheart, I really appreciate your unwanted sympathies and illusionary sensitivity directed towards me. In our culture when someone is being sweet, kind and helpful (even if fake) we make sure that we pay them back with something valuable. Here's a small guide curated for you that will help you in being self secure so you won't feel threatened by other people's success and opinions.

1) Have a life:

Nothing screams idle to me more than this. Like you have time to be offended by someone's post and comments which you might just scroll by and ignore?? On top of that going above and beyond to let that person know. Okay, Sushma. Now log off and do the pending coursework.

2) Build genuine confidence:

Ladies, fake it till you make it can only go this far. You have to work on your underlying issues and address them. If you don't you are susceptible to triggering even by a mere stranger. Confident people don't need to go above and beyond to prove other people. They embody it.

3) Self awareness:

It's tiring to explain this. Just Google it at this point. This word is thrown like a football everywhere. You know it. Do the homework.

4) Practice self compassion and boundaries:

Negative feedback is part and parcel of life. Accept it, analyse and if it applies adopt or otherwise ignore. Boundaries are important to understand the difference between constructive criticism and disrespect.

If disrespected don't be afraid to put a bitch in place. Until then shut your mouth and concentrate on your goals.

5) Opinions are subjective:

Everyone has their own life experiences and opinions are formed based on those. Your Roman Empire might be different from your friends but does it mean it's invalid? No. Develop empathy and open-mindedness. Not everyone has the same views. It's okay.

6) Develop a thick skin:

You can't survive in this world if you are triggered by the tiniest of things. You have to be comfortable in being painted both as a hero and as a villain. Don't let others opinion get to your head. Owe to yourself that I will stand in my truth thou glory or disgrace.

7) Reflect a rbf stance:

When someone tries to belittle you, try to put you down, talk shit about you. Your body language should be cold and reserved with a rbf that screams intimidation but all you are going to say is Okay, and??

8) Master Sarcasm:

I have said this before and I will say it again. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Sarcasm is the ice in it. Ladies learn sarcasm. It's the one way ticket to put people in their place in a humorous way.

9) Be classy. Be polite. BE UNTOUCHABLE.

Who do you think will be named as the crazy one? The one who is screaming and belittling someone or the one who is still being polite but discreetly showing the person where they belong. Never resort to screaming and shouting. That's dumb. Second never go out of your way to prove how you are relevant. Take it or leave it mentality.

10) Seek professional help:

Even after all of this you are not able to practice being unbothered. I think a therapist is the best solution for you.

P.S. :Ladies, this is what I mean when I say leverage the fuck out of your connections and opportunities. This is how you turn a negative into a positive.

Plus I am petty enough to not let this disrespect slide but thought it would be a good content idea for my posts, isn't it??

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

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jbbuckybarnes · 8 months

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How Peter Parker would comfort and care for a depressed loved one

(don't mind me, just some self-indulgence I wrote when I was in the trenches of depression)

• "No, no, no, what we're not gonna do is feel guilty. This world is a depressing place when the rest of you isn't stable. And the world loves making people unstable."

• He'd meal prep for you, wake you up on time to keep your rhythm in check, bring you sleep tea, watch movies with you on particularly bad days.

• "What's your current take on going outside? Vitamin D might do you good." He'd ask cautiously.

• You'd tense up at the idea of spending more energy than you had but knew it was needed to get better.

• "I can...carry you to the rooftop?" He'd raise his brow.

• You'd do grabby hands at him from the bed.

• You'd chill on the sunny rooftop for 45 minutes every now and then, not talking much, just existing.

• "What are your thoughts on therapy?" He'd mumble a few weeks down the line.

• "The only thing my insurance covers is CBT. I fucking hate CBT."

• "What if we figure out a way to pay someone you can choose?"

• "I don't wa-" "Na-ah, friends help friends survive."

• Please imagine Spider-Man making a couple extra bucks by helping people install solar panels and carrying heavy stuff.

• He'd sit down next to you with a laptop and you'd search for therapy options.

• "DBT. IFS. EFT. The other EFT. Hypnotherapy. Logo Therapy. Integrative Therapists for Psychedelics. Somatic Experiencing." Even he was overwhelmed with the option.

• "IFS. Hypnotherapy. Maybe Logo Therapy." You mumbled and he decluttered the tabs.

• You landed on a woman doing both IFS & Hypnotherapy. Both things that intrigued you.

• "I mean if nothing else works...drugs still exist." You'd shrug and he'd smirk at that.

• He'd bring you to your first appointment giving you the biggest hug before you went in.

• The woman would explain to you that you needed to get mentally resourced first and that she'd try with a specific type of hypnosis to see if that helps.

• When Peter saw you get out of the building he'd instantly put his arm around you while walking.

• "I'm so tired." You'd mumble leaning against him while walking, trusting him to lead the way while you were spacing out, "Gonna tell you about it after a long sleep."

• You'd wake up the next morning with energy. Still depressed, but not quite as depressed as the previous days. He slept over to make sure there were no weird aftereffects.

• You would look at him sleeping and get up to make yourself something simple to eat.

• He'd peek his eye open before both of them were wide open seeing you standing in the kitchen.

• "Woah." He mumbled before getting up and hugging you.

• "How was it?" You paused for a second, "That's what he said."

• You told him what the hypnosis felt like and that you went back to the origin of your depression and did some inner child work thing. And the hypnosis took a lot more out of you than you expected. And now you had more energy and hoped it wasn't short-form placebo.

• "Even if it is, she can still do the other work with you." You nodded.

• "Can we go for a short walk?" He'd eagerly nod.

• Over the weeks you'd get better and better at coping with your symptoms and connecting to your inner parts. You'd figure out your triggers and how to calm yourself out of them.

• He'd love to see you flourish and take you on little friend (👀) dates all across New York City the more energy you'd have.

• He'd make sure you'd keep seeing the beautiful things in the world. He'd program your TV to not show news. He'd actually send you good news deliberately.

• "We should live together." You'd suggest.

• "If you can handle the feds searching the apartment at some point." He'd giggle.

• "I'd be good with that. I'd hide little things making it awkward for them." You both laughed.

#peter parker imagine #peter parker #Spider-Man #spiderman #depressed reader #peter parker x reader #Peter Parker x you #peter parker x y/n #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #mine #peter parker fluff #hypnosis #spider man no way home #spider man far from home #spider man fluff #spider man fanfiction

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skaldish · 1 year

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hey, I recently had to interact with an evangelical family member on thanksgiving (as in, I calmly listened and explained "my views and values differ from yours, but I appreciate you sharing your world view with me" while I was aggressively proselytized at for well over an hour; even by evangelical standards, this family member is aggressive about pushing his beliefs onto others).

I was raised atheist and don't usually have an issue with this; I don't believe in hell or divine punishment, but things he said keep popping into my head (like being called "the definition of being lost" for saying im agnostic— which is a half truth but he wouldn't be receptive to a full explanation). I'm tacking this down to a combination of evangelical thought poison and my anxiety disorder related habit of ruminating (which thankfully I'm working with a therapist on now).

I know you're passionate about the subject of cult thought and the likes and just wanted to know if you had any advice or thoughts re: getting cult thinking that doesn't align with your views or values to kindly edit your headspace.

hope you're well 💚

Apologetics. It's something every Evangelical learns, and it's a form of mind-control. They engage nonbelievers in religious debate and use it to covertly indoctrinate them.

Evangelicals spend years learning how to counter every argument, direct conversations towards specific points, compromise our mental reasoning through various means, and inject their logic into the vulnerable mind, which then festers on its own.

Apologetics is a masterstroke of manipulation, and one of the very few things I consider evil.

My best friend is ex-Evangelical and well-versed in Apologetics. A while back, they gave me an example of how it works (with my consent of course).

Now, I'm extremely good at entertaining ideas without adopting them. It's a skill I deliberately and constantly wield, almost subconsciously at this point.

There's no way I could do it. The more you think it over, the deeper it digs into your brain. All an Evangelical has to do is feed you enough information and your own thoughts will do the work from there.

My friend wasn't even simulating an actual instance of proselytizing; they framed things within the context of, "This is what they'd say." And yet I could literally feel my mind tunnel at the logic, burrowing its way deeper every time I thought, "But what if...?"

I did throw it, though. The way I shook it off was Occam's Razor: "Simpler explanations are more likely to be correct."

Evangelical philosophy is too complex to be statistically probable compared to other frameworks. It even compensates for this by portraying itself as the only safe bet in a high-stakes game. But the reason we find it so compelling is because it makes us fear for our survival. It's the same fear we get when we hear rustling in the bushes when there's a predator around...only this time the tiger is something we can't know. Regardless, our lizard-brains will always take a false positive over a false negative in those situations, and will try to do so if it succumbs to the existential dread. This evil, perfect storm is what drives people to convert.

I've seen many forms of mental manipulation, but Apologetics is a weapon unlike any other.

So here's my advice to you and everyone else:

When it comes to the Evangelical debate game, the only winning move is not to play.

Do everything you can do avoid the topic of religion in conversation, and make a concentrated effort to give it as little breathing room as possible. Bring up a different topic. Say "no thanks" and move on. Ask questions about secular things. Ignore the religious content peppered within statements. Be cordial, but never ever let up on that boundary.

I don't know your relative, but I do know Evangelicals never respond well when denied a platform. They may try to persuade, provoke, trick, or guilt you into giving it to them, so be prepared to hold your ground if you have to interact with them. If all else fails, excuse yourself from the conversation.

Remember: It's not rude to hold a boundary. Don't let anyone convince you that it is.

#answered #tw religious trauma #description of how apologetics works

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aita-blorbos · 8 months

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AITA for getting my friend’s name wrong for several months?

let me explain. i (17M) transfered to another high school last april. most of the kids here avoid me because of… reasons, but i’ve managed to make a few friends here in between my totally legal extracirriculars and getting harassed by faculty. one of these friends (15F) is actually a popular gymnast in the year below me, who i’ll call k. we’ve become pretty good friends over the past few months. i support her gymnastic pursuits and in return she teaches me how to do sick backflips. i picked out glasses for her dad. we went into the soul world together. yknow, normal stuff.

the problem is that i recently learned that i’ve been calling “k” the wrong name basically since we met. i assumed that her name was k after seeing it on one of her notebooks, but the notebook actually belonged to her dead twin sister. “k” (or rather, s) and her idenitity are apparently “common knowledge”, but because s never corrected me and everyone else usually calls her by her her last name, i only found out when our mutual acquaintance/ the-guy-who-tried-to-kill-me-but-I-still-hang-out-with (18M) told me. to be fair, s also started to genuinely believe that she was her dead sister due to some wacky hijinks by our school counsellor– please don’t ask– so i don’t think this is totally on me.

anyways, s is fine now (she remembered that she isn’t her sister and has stopped trying to battle us with spirit pokemon over it). she says that it’s okay that i didn’t know her name and even apologised for going along with it, but i still feel pretty bad. like, it’s pretty shitty to not know your friend’s name. 18M thinks i’m an absolute moron (which he always does) and has been making fun of me non stop since, but my cat (???M) told me that i couldn’t have known so there’s no point worrying about it. i also kind of have to focus on saving the world from my afformentioned councillor so s isn’t really a priority right now. Still, i feel shitty about the whole thing so, AITA? and if so, what should i do to make it up to s?

edit: please don’t worry about the guy who tried to kill me! i know it sounds alarming but consider <3 he’s a funny little man. my friends have said there is something wrong with me for this and i *would* go see a therapist or something but the last time i did that he became a god who’s currently imprisoning humanity. what can you do.

edit again: my cat can talk yeah. he says to stop posting our intel on reddit but in his language that means he says hi.

#AITA #am i the asshole #unreality

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outercrasis · 2 years

Text

Green Light

Pairing: Marcus Pike x F!Reader

Word Count/Rating: 6.7k / Explicit (18+ ONLY)

Warnings: Friends to lovers 💕, SMUT (seriously 18+ ONLY), dom/sub dynamics, unprotected sex, rough(ish?) sex, oral (f&m), fingering, a little bit of spanking, hair pulling, dirty talk, a handful of good girl’s, mention of leg hair on reader, reader has hair that can be pulled/have fingers threaded through it

Summary: You accidentally see a video you aren't supposed to. Will it end your friendship with Marcus or bring the two of you that much closer?

A/N: Big thank you to @honestly-shite for reading this over for me 💕 I'd also like to thank @absurdthirst for reblogging the gif you see above, which broke through my writer's block on this idea and gave me the inspiration I needed. And last but not least, I'd like to mention the shameless nod to @whataperfectwasteoftime that I simply couldn't resist putting in here (specifically her Control series) 💕💕

You knock, tapping your toes on the doormat that reads hi. i’m mat. while you wait. The mat was an impulse buy after realizing the front entryway was littered with sand from having nothing to help take it off people’s shoes before they stepped inside. Marcus is obstinate in his belief that the mat didn’t help all that much and yet he’s never moved it. It brings a smile to your face.

The door swings open to reveal a very cozy looking Marcus. He has his sweatpants and a white tshirt on, which you know to mean he's already settled in for the night. You're surprised you don't hear a movie playing from the living room.

Marcus' brow furrows in that endearing way you love. "Didn't you have a date?"

"Yes and you can guess how it ended," you say before pushing into the house.

Marcus closes the door, leaning against it while he watches you haphazardly take off your shoes and jacket. "What happened?"

You sigh. "He wouldn't stop talking about crypto and at the end of the meal told me he doesn't believe in tipping."

"Yeesh. Where do you keep finding these guys?"

"Oh you know, apps and whatever else." You wave Marcus off, wandering into his kitchen to poke around his cupboards. You hadn't even mentioned your date asking you to order the cheapest item on the menu, leaving you feeling peckish.

Marcus pops open the fridge, pulling out a couple drinks for the two of you. You take yours graciously before finding an open bag of goldfish. Score.

You give the bag a little shake, asking permission to go ahead with your chosen snack. Marcus nods, leaning against the kitchen counter. It takes all your strength to not look him over. It's not your fault he looks so good all stretched out like that.

"Whatever happened to finding someone naturally?" Marcus asks. He can't even help himself, the big sap.

"That's for romantics and people with time, of which I have neither," you tell him. It's not a lie, although it's not really the truth. You did find someone naturally, except he's perfectly unavailable despite only standing two feet away. He doesn't need to know all these dates are a vain attempt to distract from that.

Marcus had moved into your little beach town just over two years ago and while the rest of your community was too chicken to figure out his story, you dove right in.

Early retirement from the FBI art crimes department, leaving a nice job and home in DC for a small fixer-upper a short walk from the beach. When you asked what he was going to do he smiled and said he was figuring that out. The two of you hit it off from the start.

You're not entirely sure when your feelings fell from platonic to romantic. By the time you figured it out though you were far in the deep end and Marcus was staunch in his resolve to not date.

He had given you his whole sordid romantic history, explaining his plan to remain single until he could be comfortable with just Marcus. His therapist thought it was a good idea too – having the time and space to figure out himself before investing heavily in someone else again. Who are you to argue with that?

Rather than lose an amazing friend, you chose to bury your feelings. You're an adult. You can control yourself. It even worked for a little while. Recently though, the romantic feelings have been rearing their head too often for your liking, resulting in your serial dates.

You'd hoped that at least one of your dates would sweep you off your feet, allowing your feelings for Marcus to return to purely that of a friend. Each one keeps falling short. They're too tall, too short, too loud, too quiet, too self-important, too serious, too childish, the list goes on and on. You know why they do. They aren't him. They aren't Marcus.

Now, stupidly, you've decided to lick your wounds from another failure in the home of the man unknowingly causing your problems. You hate that simply being around him is already making you feel better.

You breeze into the living room, snagging your usual spot on the couch. The TV isn't on as you expected but you spot his laptop on the coffee table. Marcus Pike spent his Friday night doing some online shopping then. He has mentioned that he’s been looking for a new easel lately, unhappy with the size and capabilities of his current one.

Marcus sits down with you and you fall into your normal positions. Both of your legs up on the cushions, with Marcus pulling the blanket off the back of the couch to cover your perpetually cold feet. You’re especially grateful as the stockings you have on don’t offer much in the way of warmth.

"No movie tonight?" you ask around a handful of goldfish.

"It didn't feel right without you here to talk over it," Marcus jokes. You ignore the heavy thump of your heart, throwing a goldfish at Marcus' head in faux offense.

He opens his mouth wide, catching it expertly and crunching down on the tiny snack. The grin on his face is extremely self satisfied, prompting you to throw another at him. You should have expected him to catch that one too.

From there you fall into your usual routine. You chat for a little while, with you being careful to avoid heavy discussion of your recent rash of dates, before Marcus inevitably finds a movie for you to watch. Tonight he’s chosen one of your favorites, a touching and small gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed.

Your legs end up tangling in Marcus’ – in part seeking the heat that he radiates and because you will gladly accept any form of physical contact he gives you, despite all the alarm bells in your head screaming. It's completely foolish and maybe even a bit pathetic to allow, but then your foot runs along the top of his thigh and any real thoughts go right out the window. It’s a good thing you’ve already seen this movie a thousand times over, otherwise you’d be completely lost with how distracted you are by Marcus tonight. You can only hope he doesn’t notice.

You’re a little quieter than normal during the movie, but it otherwise passes without incident. As the credits roll, Marcus shares an absurd bit of trivia that you’ve somehow never heard before and swears on his life that it’s true.

When you laugh only half as much as expected, Marcus suddenly moves in closer to you on the couch. Your legs are now firmly across his lap and he's studying your face like you were recently accused of stealing millions in valuable artwork.

"Are you okay?"

You've always appreciated that Marcus doesn't beat around the bush. You don't like it as much when it's turned on you. His right hand is splayed over your calf, pulling your mind in a thousand directions other than answering him.

"Yeah, what? Why?" you finally splutter in reply.

"You're too quiet tonight."

He studies your face further and you're terrified that somehow, just from looking, he'll know. Marcus will know and then he'll try not to hurt your feelings but once he knows your friendship will never be the same. How can it be after that? Your palms are clammy thinking of the awkwardness that will linger between the two of you. The way you’ll drift apart before becoming perfect strangers. You’re not sure you’re strong enough to go through that.

His eyes flash and you're certain he's figured it out when he asks, "Did that guy try something with you?"

"Woah okay, calm down," you say, pressing a hand against his shoulder. "He was an ass not a creep. I'm fine."

“You don’t have to protect him if he did. I still have contacts."

“I know I don’t, Mr. FBI. I’m just sick of all these dates that go nowhere, you know? I don’t know why I keep trying.”

You really don’t. None of them are going to compare to Marcus. You know it, your mom knows it, the universe knows it, and your lifelong companion Mr. Bear-Bear knows it. You slump back against the arm of the couch, closing your eyes in frustration.

"You'll find someone soon," Marcus consoles. You snort, cursing your luck that he of all people would be the one to say that to you.

Stopping your pity party before it really gets going, you crack open an eye to look at Marcus. His expression is indiscernible, but you can tell he's about to stay something. Abruptly, his expression changes and he asks, “Are you spending the night?”

You’re about to say no, that you’ll make the relatively short drive home, when a yawn sneaks up on you.

“Sure, why not?” Your plan for tomorrow was to wake up early-ish and drag Marcus to the farmer’s market in town anyway. He smiles, making your stomach flip.

“Do you have anything to change into?”

You look down, realizing that your date outfit won’t exactly be comfortable to sleep in. You can’t believe you wore an underwire bra for that disappointment. There might be some extra clothes in your car, but the prospect of going to get those now that you’ve decided to settle in for the night sounds miserable. The couch is so warm and outside is so cold.

Marcus is already getting up before you can reply. “I’ll go grab something for you to sleep in.”

If your brain didn’t immediately fry, you would have told him you’d be okay and that you’d make something work. Instead, you’re left open-mouthed at the thought of wearing his clothes. How the hell are you supposed to sleep like that? Wrapped in his scent, wishing that it was more than just the fabric he owns holding you tight.

You can’t help yourself – imagining his strong arms around you, the softness of his stomach pressed against your back. Turning to tuck yourself into his neck or chest, comfortable in the safety he'd provide. Moving one hand up to tease his curls that are in need of a trim or to run soothingly down his broad back.

Trying to calm down, you decide to look up the movie trivia Marcus mentioned. Nothing will get your mind off of being surrounded by Marcus' scent for the night like some dry movie fun facts.

You go to grab your phone, only to realize you left it with your jacket over by the door when you came in. Far too lazy to make the walk, you instead grab Marcus' laptop off the coffee table in front of you. He's not going to care if you look up some trivia.

You're taken by surprise when a video starts to automatically play as you open the laptop. Marcus must have been watching it when you arrived, the video pausing when he closed it. Your brain takes a moment to catch up, registering that this isn't some youtube video about art history or something. It's porn.

A flush of arousal courses through you. You picture Marcus laid out on the couch, getting comfortable before taking himself in hand, leisurely stroking his cock. A groan escaping his lips, slicking his hand with spit and precum.

A soft moan from the video snaps you from your fantasy. Embarrassment immediately washes over your arousal. You shouldn't be thinking of Marcus this way. He's your friend. Not to mention that you shouldn't be watching this video now and invading his privacy. You're thankful he hasn't come back from finding clothes to catch you.

You're about to frantically close the laptop when you realize you know this video. It's one of your favorites – hosted on a site with porn geared towards women, it's one of the best you've found. Both the actors seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves in the scene, allowing it to flow and progress naturally. You've long speculated they have some chemistry beyond the camera to make it work so well.

He's dominating without ever crossing a line into creepy or concerning and her submission feels real. It's not overacted with exaggerated expressions, fake moans, or loud and unnecessary shouts. More than once you've watched this and longed to be in the woman's place.

The video picks up right before one of your favorite moments. The actress is kneeling on the floor, completely naked, her hand slowly working up the exterior of her scene partner's pant leg. He's gently petting her hair, carefully caressing her cheek. He gives her permission to continue, her hands making quick work of his belt and taking out his cock. You know what comes next. You’ve watched it enough times to know it with your eyes shut.

Unbidden, you imagine a moment like this with Marcus. A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of him instructing you to call him sir, his thumb running over your bottom lip before finally telling you to suck. Would he be gentle or would he continue to follow the video’s script?

The Marcus you know is considerably softer, with his dimpled smile and the creases of laugh lines around his warm brown eyes. The way he grumbles about “letting himself go” after leaving the FBI when all you see is a man happy and enjoying his life. You’ve had to keep yourself from commenting a little too obviously on how much you like his soft stomach more than once. Your Marcus will meet you at the bar, hands half scrubbed from oil paints because he didn’t realize how late it had gotten and rushed to get there on time.

You never allowed yourself to indulge the thought of this fantasy with Marcus, thinking yourself too off base. Why let yourself get swept up in the thought of something that was never going to happen? Some days it’s been hard enough without adding your deepest desire into the mix.

"This shirt has some paint stains, but they're old so-" The clothes unceremoniously drop to the floor, Marcus staring wide eyed at his laptop in front of you.

You snap back into reality, slamming the laptop shut. "Oh god Marcus, I'm so sorry. I should have turned it off the second it started playing. I'm sorry, I-"

Marcus rushes over to you on the couch. "It's okay, I'm sorry. I should have closed out of it properly."

Words keep tumbling from your mouth. "Sorry, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have helped myself. I’m so so sorry." The heat of embarrassment is washing over you in waves. You don’t know what this is going to do to your friendship, but your only hope is that it doesn’t ruin things. What were you thinking? You never should have kept watching it.

Marcus is wringing his hands, not looking in your direction. Have you already fucked this up beyond repair? He’s normally calm and collected in a heated moment, you being the one to lose your head. "It's okay, I just- I hope what you saw doesn't change your opinion of me."

You take the risk of moving closer to him on the couch. “Changed my-? What are you talking about?"

He exhales a dry, humorless chuckle. "Let’s just say not everyone in my past has been entirely kind or uh- understanding, about my tastes and… Well, I don’t want to lose you over it too.”

Marcus looks up at you with those big, sad puppy dog eyes and you melt. He can’t honestly think you would disappear from his life over this. Not only would that be a terrible and ridiculous thing to do as a friend, you know you won’t be able to get it out of your mind now. Actually knowing that his tastes very much align with yours.

Your heart is racing, but you force out your next words before you chicken out. “That would be awfully hypocritical of me.” Marcus’ eyes somehow become rounder, asking his question for him. “I think I have that one memorized.”

The urge to hide yourself away is nearly overwhelming. If you believed Marcus figured out your feelings before, you’re certain you’re giving them away freely now. You stand your ground though, keeping your eyes locked onto his and daring to reach out and brush an errant curl behind Marcus’ ear.

Eternity stretches between the two of you. A million thoughts race through your mind, certain that whatever happens next there’s no going back. You can only hope that things are about to change in your favor.

Finally, Marcus’ hands move. One falls on your leg, just above your knee, a bolt of electricity zipping through you at the contact. The other reaches up to cup your face, his large hand cradling your jaw. You immediately melt at his touch, nuzzling into his palm.

"I never thought-"

"I could say the same for you," you interrupt.

He chuckles, acknowledging that his general vibe doesn't really lend one to thinking that he'd be into BDSM. His thumb sweeps over the apple of your cheek.

You take a deep breath, trying to choose your next words carefully. "If we do this, this can't be a one time thing for me. I can't have you tonight and pretend nothing is different tomorrow."

He has to know it's nothing against him. If anything, it's the exact opposite. The idea of getting to have him but only once sounds like your own hell, worse than never knowing his touch at all. It's a misery you simply can't doom yourself to. Not after this long.

"Does that mean you'll stop going on all those dates?" Your brow furrows. Before you can get a word in, Marcus continues. "I know it's stupid to get jealous over someone who isn't officially mine, but I can't seem to help myself."

You move yourself into Marcus' lap, needing to be as close to him as you can. He has no complaints. His forehead presses against yours, one hand resting on your side.

"I was trying to distract myself from you," you confess. "I didn't want to push you before you were ready." You can feel his breath against your lips. His heart somehow keeps a steady beat under your palm.

"You don't need to worry about that anymore."

It's not clear who moves first. All you know is that Marcus' lips are on yours and that it's everything you've wanted for months. It doesn't take long for the kiss to deepen, his tongue sliding into your mouth. At some point, you lightly bite his plush bottom lip, relishing the moan you're rewarded with.

His hands are everywhere – pushing up your skirt, untucking your shirt, pressing your body against his, cradling your head. All you can manage is wrapping your arms around his shoulders or pushing a hand into his thick curls. You never want to come up for air.

Marcus breaks the kiss to leave a trail down your neck, trying to speak to you while he does it. "So- beautiful- been dreaming- about you- for- months."

Your thighs clench together, eager for any kind of friction. "I've thought about you too," you say.

There's a light glowing in Marcus' eyes. "What have you thought about?"

It's silly, really. To be here, exactly where you want to be, and to get shy now. Marcus' kisses slow down, waiting expectantly for your answer.

"I- I um, I imagined you touching me," you say softly.

You can feel the curve of Marcus' smile against your throat. "How, baby?"

His hand sneaks underneath your shirt, groping your breasts. It makes it harder to focus. "Your hands.” A gasp escapes you, Marcus rolling your nipple between his fingers. “Your m-mouth.”

You’re certain your panties are soaked through now. Any friction you can get from your thighs is not nearly enough to quell the ache burning in your core. You have no idea how Marcus seems so unaffected.

“I didn’t think you’d be so timid, baby. Are you sure you want this?” Marcus asks. His hands still, awaiting your answer.

Panic swells in your chest at the thought of this stopping. Your grip tightens on his shirt. “No, no please, I want this. I just um, I-”

“Need a little guidance?”

You nod, wide eyed and eager. You’ve never had someone affect you like this before.You’re not sure what it is – how worked up you already were, the suddenness of it all, or if it’s just him. The edges of your mind are already rounding out, desperate to please and follow Marcus’ lead.

Marcus guides you off his lap, gently pushing you back against the soft cushions of the couch. "Okay, baby. If anything makes you uncomfortable you say yellow to slow me down and if you want me to stop you say red. You got it?”

You nod quickly. “Yes. Yellow to slow, red to stop.”

Marcus gets down on his knees in front of you, hands slowly trailing up your leg. Your breath hitches as he reaches the top of your thigh highs, gently fingering the garter clasp. He looks up, eyes meeting yours, and you almost want to shy away from the intensity of his gaze. You never imagined it would be like this.

Marcus is always attentive. It’s one of the first things you noticed and appreciated about him. No matter how small or insignificant the topic, Marcus can make you feel like the center of the world – as though every word you speak is pure gold. Right now, he’s making you feel like the center of the universe.

"Can I?" he asks.

You nod your head.

"I need to hear it."

"Yes, Marcus."

He pauses, his gaze becoming pointed. He’s waiting for something. Your mind flicks back to the video and you know what he wants to hear. "Yes, sir," you breathe.

He leans down to kiss the side of your knee. “Good girl.”

Marcus unclips your garter belt deftly, his hands completely steady as he rolls your thigh highs down your legs. You cringe a little, remembering the last time you shaved your legs was months ago, resulting in the panicked urge to hide them from view in case your date chose to be an asshole about it. The concern you feel is quickly overtaken by Marcus kissing his way up both legs without a care, murmuring compliments as he rises.

His hands glide over your hips, meeting at the button on your skirt. “Did you get all dressed up for me? Were you trying to tease me with your cute little outfit?”

You squirm, remembering that you purposely chose the shirt you wore tonight because it’s Marcus’ favorite color. Somehow you know he knows.

“I wanted to tear it off you the moment I opened the door.” He pulls your skirt off, managing to snag your garter belt right along with it. Goosebumps erupt across your skin at the sudden cold air of the room and the thrill that runs along your spine.

Marcus moves quickly from there. He doesn’t bother with moving your panties out of the way, throwing your legs over his broad shoulders and hungrily mouthing at your pussy through the silky fabric. It dulls the sensation, but only ever so slightly. You can feel the way his saliva is dampening them alongside your own slick, his tongue tracing along the seam of your lips. Without thinking, you curl your fingers into his hair and pull him further into you.

He easily overpowers you, a hand wrapping around your wrist. “I’ll let that one slide, but I decide the pace. Do that again and I might have to punish you.”

Your pussy clenches at the thought of all that Marcus could do. How merciless would he be? What could his creative mind come up with? Still, you don’t want to push it tonight. That will be something to test out another time.

He returns to his task, allowing your hand to stay wrapped up in his hair. One of his fingers plays along the edge of your panties and just as you’re about to beg he slides it underneath the fabric and into your pussy. You cry out in welcome surprise as Marcus groans, quickly losing any resolve and using his other hand to pull your panties aside in order to wrap his mouth around your bare clit. You almost don't catch yourself before mindlessly grinding your hips downwards.

Marcus' patchy stubble leaves a perfect burn on your inner thighs. His one arm is wrapped around the top of your leg, keeping you firmly in place. The strength of his grip is not lost on you even as your mind begins to empty out. You haven't felt this good in months, maybe years.

A heady wave of pleasure crashes through you, making you realize how close you are to cumming. You frantically paw at Marcus. "I- I'm going to come, please- please, can I come, sir?"

Marcus' eyes snap open, his mouth barely leaving you. "Fuck, yeah beautiful. Come for me."

He pushes another thick finger inside of you, curling them to hit your sweet spot, and pulls you down onto his mouth. It takes only moments more and with his permission, you come undone.

Marcus works you through your orgasm, accepting your slight push against his forehead when overstimulation threatens to overwhelm. He's quick to reclaim your mouth with his, awkwardly draped over you and the couch. You've never seen him smile so brightly before.

"I knew you'd look gorgeous when you came." Your cheeks burn at the compliment.

Marcus pulls you up with him, taking a moment to make sure you're steady on your feet. You only stumble the tiniest bit. His hands fall on your hips, playing with the hem of your shirt. "Take this off, baby. Let me see you."

You're more than happy to comply. The look in Marcus' eye emboldens you, prompting you to let your bra and thoroughly ruined panties fall to the floor as well. Marcus breathes in sharply before pulling you in for another messy kiss.

"Please tell me I'm not dreaming," he whispers.

You reach down and give his ass a small pinch. "Is that proof enough?"

Marcus chuckles. "Go to my bedroom. I'm not done with you yet."

You take a couple steps away from him, pausing when you realize he's not following. Marcus arches an eyebrow. "Did I tell you to stop walking?"

"No, sir."

"Keep going then. I'm enjoying the show."

You feel like you need a pinch to make sure this is all real. This night began by you hoping to drown your sorrows and now you're living your wildest fantasy. If it isn't real, you hope you never wake up.

Knowing what he's up to, you throw an extra away into your hips, more than happy to give him a show that's worthwhile. The soft groan you hear tells you it works. You pause in the doorway, throwing a wink over your shoulder towards Marcus. His hand is over his groin, the grey sweatpants doing nothing to hide his arousal, even from a distance.

You're not sure what to do once you're in the room. He didn't give you any instruction beyond coming in here. Trying to imagine what he might like, your thoughts drift back to the porn video. Deciding it's better than nothing to go off of, you move towards the bed and kneel down beside it. You place your hands in your lap, patiently waiting for Marcus to enter the room.

No more than a minute passes before Marcus walks in. He's looking directly at the bed before he realizes you aren't on it, but beside it. Your mouth is watering – beyond thrilled that he chose to take his shirt off before walking in.

You adore the way Marcus' body has filled out and softened in the time you've known him. There was never anything wrong with his fit FBI body – but this version of him takes the cake. He's less lean than before, the hard work of fixing up his home and consistent, full meals packing on both layers of muscle and fat. Marcus likes to bemoan the stomach he now has, but you've been kept up late more than once by the simple thought of kissing it.

"Look at you," Marcus says. "So damn sweet, waiting for me. Why didn't you get on the bed, baby?"

He crouches down, cradling your jaw in his hand. He figured out how much you like that quickly. Marcus' affection is laid open and bare across his face, making you want to shy away again. This time, you try to hold firm.

"I wanted to make you happy, sir. I thought you might like this."

"Oh baby, I love it. I want to reward you for already treating me so well."

A smile breaks out across your face, thrilled to have already done so well for him.

"What do you want for your reward?" he asks.

You nearly blue-screen. There are so many options. How can you pick just one? Every fantasy you've ever had comes to the forefront of your mind, all fighting for the top spot. Staring at him before you, you make up your mind.

Your voice falters. Somehow a worry about being too forward wiggles forward in your mind. You've had partners, some of them shitty doms, in the past who haven't liked you being so assertive. Your voice falters. "I- I want…"

Marcus is patient, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Don't get shy on me now, baby. What do you want?"

"I want to suck your cock," you force out.

Marcus inhales sharply. For a moment, you worry you've done something wrong. "Fuck," Marcus says, his voice a little shaky. "You're sure?"

"I can't stop thinking about it."

Marcus kisses you again, quick and dirty. "You're remarkable."

He stands up, now towering above you. He looks amazing from this angle. The soft swell of his stomach, the curve of his chest and shoulders, curls of hair falling forward. You get a real sense for just how large Marcus is. If the outline through his sweatpants is anything to go off of, the same can be said of him everywhere.

You wait patiently, a crackling tension filling the room. There's a chance you could reach out, touching him over his pants, but you don't want to push too far. You're both still figuring out each other's boundaries.

"Go ahead," Marcus says.

Teasing him sounds appealing for a moment, but you've both waited too long for this. His sweatpants slide off of his hips. You gasp at the quick realization that Marcus decided to forgo underwear tonight.

His cock bobs in front of you, curving slightly up towards his stomach. Flushed with arousal, you can finally see the clear effect you’ve been having on Marcus despite his otherwise calm demeanor. Looking up, you can see the tease on the tip of his tongue. It turns into a shuddered gasp instead as you lick a hot stripe up the underside of his cock.

His hands quickly find your head, fingers pushing into your hair to hold steady. It spurs you on, holding the base of his cock and letting your other hand run over his thick thighs. You smile up at him, placing an innocent kiss at the tip.

“Don’t tease me, baby,” Marcus warns. You smile widely up at him.

"Sorry, sir."

You swirl your tongue, humming at the salty taste of his precum. Eager to taste more and avoid another warning from Marcus, you take him into your mouth. His knees buckle slightly and it thrills you to have this effect on him.

Marcus allows you to set the pace. You settle into a suitable position, using your hand to cover what you can't comfortably fit in your mouth. It's been a while since you've been this excited to do this for anyone.

Your fingers itch to reach down and take care of your own growing ache. The noises Marcus is making are doing nothing to help you. You’d ask, but you don’t want to stop what you’re doing. It’s an absurd predicament that simply leaves you dripping onto the carpet.

You hold onto the back of Marcus' thighs, taking him as deeply as you can. Marcus swears above you and you pull back just before you begin to choke. A couple tears well in your eyes at the effort, but you want this, you want to keep going.

You place your hand over Marcus', hoping that he'll get the message you want him to take some control back and to guide you. You trust him. You know he cares about you just as much, if not more, than getting off.

His fingers tighten their hold, moving your head in tandem while he rocks his hips. It's still relatively gentle, Marcus being cautious to not push your limits, but it’s more than enough to let that soft cotton fuzz of submission start to creep in again. You hardly notice the way you’re drooling – unable to do anything about it anyway. Right as you’re beginning to really time your breaths well, sinking deeper into letting go, Marcus pulls away. You whine at the loss, keen to keep going and pleasing him.

“S-sorry baby. I’m going to come if we keep going like that.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” you tell him honestly. His cock twitches.

“The first time I come for you I want to fill that perfect little pussy up. On the bed.”

Marcus helps you up from the floor, your legs a little shaky from kneeling on them like you were. “Hands and knees, baby,” Marcus says, kissing along your shoulder blade. He gives your ass a playful swat as you crawl across the sheets, making you squeak.

Getting comfortable on Marcus’ large mattress, you’re more than ready for him. You’ve been ready for him since the couch. There’s still an ache in your jaw from how ready he is for you. That’s why you jump a little bit when you feel his fingers and not his dick easily slide into your pussy.

“You’re so wet,” Marcus moans. “Sorry baby, I couldn’t help myself. Did you get like this sucking my cock?”

Between the way he’s making you feel and his words you find it hard to reply. There’s a sharp sting as Marcus slaps your ass, this time far harder than before. You moan at the bite of it. “What was that baby?”

“Yes, sir. You make me so wet, no-nobody else.”

“Is that so? Nobody else?” Marcus asks. “Tell me who’s pussy this is.”

Oh fuck. You never expected him to say that. Marcus slaps your ass again when you don’t answer fast enough, his fingers stilling. “I said, tell me who’s pussy this is.”

“Yours. It’s yours,” you cry out, moaning as he pushes his cock into you. There’s no pinch or uncomfortable second that blooms into pleasure – it’s like you were made to take him. A perfect fit.

Marcus shudders, pausing for a moment while he adjusts to the tight clench of your cunt. You want to rock back on him more than anything, but you stay still, waiting for him.

“Good girl, good fucking girl.” He reaches down, grabbing a handful of your hair and begins to fuck you in earnest. Everything that isn’t Marcus leaves your mind.

There’s the slight tug on your hair, the grip of his hand on your hip, the perfect punch of his cock buried inside you. It’s not long before your arms give out, unable to support yourself against the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashing through your body. The noises you’re making are unlike anything you thought you could produce – Marcus alternating between grunts and compliments you can only half hear.

You can feel another orgasm approaching. It only pushes closer as Marcus lets go of your hair, draping his body across yours, and snaking his arm down to rub your clit. Sweat slides between your bodies, Marcus’ breath hot against your ear. Tears are escaping your eyes unbidden, completely overcome with bliss. “Need you to come, baby. Come for me and I’ll fill you up.”

Marcus’ slicked finger moves faster over your clit, his hips keeping a steady rhythm to push you over the edge. He gently bites your shoulder, trying to hold on for you, and that’s what finally sends you over the edge again. Marcus is mere seconds behind, losing himself as you clench around him, milking his cock.

You’re both breathing heavily as you fall back against the sheets. The only noise in the room are your breaths and Marcus’ fan that he keeps beside his bed. Your mind is already swimming.

Did that just happen? If you look over to your right are you really going to see Marcus beside you? If it is him, will he regret this? You desperately hope that the most mind-blowing sex of your life didn’t somehow ruin everything.

You eventually find the strength within yourself to turn your head. Marcus is already staring at you, his eyes brimming with affection and adoration. He rolls onto his side, holding your face in his hand. “You are incredible. I never thought-”

“That I’d be a dirty freak like you?” you joke. Marcus laughs loudly, his smile nearly blinding.

“Yeah, something like that.” He leans in to kiss you, slow and passionate. It’s completely unlike your previous kisses – with your immediate lust temporarily quenched you can take your time with this one. You get lost in the feeling of his plush lips on yours, the gentle press of his tongue. Your hand has a mind of its own while you slowly make out, squeezing and touching any part of him you can get your hands on.

Before things can really start to heat up again, which now feels like an inevitability, Marcus pulls away. “You’re beautiful and I keep wanting to do unspeakable things to you, but I need a slightly longer break. How does a bath sound?”

Even if you wanted to complain about not going for round two right away, Marcus knows he just used chemical warfare. You’ve been begging to use his jacuzzi tub since he installed the damn thing. You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re playing unfair, but I’ll allow it.”

Marcus kisses your forehead before sliding off the bed, confidently walking over to the bathroom. It’s a fantastic show, his back muscles and perfect little ass on display. He comes back out while the tub fills, sitting beside you on the bed and playing with your hair. You know the two of you have a lot to discuss. That can come later. For now this is perfect.

The water is exactly how you like it, the body heat from Marcus only making the tub that much more inviting. Sweat is already beading at Marcus’ hairline. “Did you make it hot enough for me?” you ask, sinking into the water between his legs.

“Yeah, I know your weird cold-blooded body needs it.”

You scoff, even though he’s a little bit right. Your feet have been freezing since he left the bed. The cold tile flooring did nothing to help them. Marcus wraps you up in his arms, allowing you to put your cold feet all over his warm legs.

You stay like that until the water runs cold, talking about things that apparently should have been said months ago. Both of you feel a bit ridiculous for leaving so much unsaid, but it hardly matters now. What matters now is the two of you here, happy, wanting to see where this will lead. Neither of you say it, but you both have high hopes.

The antique grandfather clock that sits at the end of the hall chimes. It echoes, notifying you that it’s now one in the morning. You groan, shoving your face into Marcus' chest. “I wanted to go to the farmer’s market tomorrow.”

“We can still go,” Marcus says.

“Yeah?”

“Sure, if you can still walk.”

You can’t help but laugh, pushing at his chest. “I’m holding you to that.”

“Good, because I’m nowhere near done with you baby.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated 💕

Everything taglist: @radiowallet @sergeantbannerbarnes @pilothusband @max--phillips @starlightmornings @moonlight-prose @practicalghost @sharkbait77 @honestly-shite @shadesofnerdlygrace @salome-c @artsymaddie @katronautt @magikfanatic @astoryisaloveaffair @tintinn16 @mswarriorbabe80 @phandoz @amneris21 @tenderwhat @asta-lily @chaoticgeminate @snarwor @stardust-galaxies @readsalot73 @xoxabs88xox @harriedandharassed @alexxavicry @alwaysdjarin @karlawithacapitalk

#marcus pike fanfiction #the mentalist fanfiction #marcus pike #crasis writes

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radio-to-trenchcoat-demons · 7 months

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First few pages of Ghost Stories (by me) is Out!!! Enjoy!!!

!heads-up! i put any other language in red for it to be easier to read, the story basically self explains the sentence and translates it for you so need to worry about language!!!

Languages Contained: Spanish, Portuguese. (more but we'll have to see how the story progresses)

GHOST STORIES

By Unt1t3d

Position for Hire: “J”

I don't like offices. I don’t know if it's because they mean that something uncomfortable is being discussed or that I didn’t organize anything myself, knowing that contents are probably where they don’t belong. This tossed here, That cast aside there. But this office I hated the most. Not only was I uncomfortable, I was being pestered about “How I felt” and, “What I should do to get on a healthier path in life”. I’ve never liked the ‘this is a safe space’ shit they rant.

I didn’t need to get healthier mentally, I needed to get better physically. I needed money. “Justice, are you alright?” The Therapist was nagging me, I noticed. “Huh? Oh, Yeah. I agree.” I spaced off a lot so I just pretended I knew what anyone was saying in a conversation. “ I was just saying that you should get your work papers in order. I think a job might be just what you need to get yourself in the right headspace.” She said like she was talking to a toddler, writing notes on her notepad. Wow, I’m touched, she’s concerned. Aren't they all? I’ve had enough of the sympathetic 'Are you alright?’s Honestly, a ‘you're a crazy mother fucker’ once in a while is perfectly fine to balance out the chaos.

“So is your medication working? Do you still see…them?” She's talking about the shadowy friends of mine! Yeah, I still fucking see them even though you have me on enough meds to call me a drugaddict! In fact, I saw one on Tuesday, SUSAN. I’ve always been able to see them, even when I was younger, and they blamed it on a very rare, very young case of dementia. But these…things, aren't just figments of my imagination. They have minds of their own, taunting me all the time. It's the reason he’s gone.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen them in a while.” I say with a smile, so that she won’t prescribe me another pill. “Don’t we end in a few?” I say to hurry her along. She taps her skull, as if she’s just now remembering I have a life. “Oh, you’re right! Then we’ll pick this up next week.” Ew, I didn’t want to pick this up again next week. “Um, I’m going to get my papers organized, remember? I’m getting that job. So, if I just notify you, I don’t think meetings will be necessary as of right now.” I say impatiently with a weak smile, tapping my foot at godspeed. Man, she’s slow on the update. Maybe if She's smart enough she’ll realize what I’m trying to say.

She gathers her things, clearly not in her right headspace as she throws it all recklessly in a tote bag. My OCD impulses twitch. “Oh, wow. Yeah, that is right! You have a way better memory than me!” she said over-enthusiastically. No wonder she was alway re-scheduling. “I suppose that’s alright, but if you're ever stressed, or need someone to talk to, call my number.” She said with a deeply concerned look. To be truthful, I lost her Number, but that’s just between you and me. “Yep. In fact, I’ll have you on speed-dial, just in case.” I tell her, my enthusiasm weak and my social battery draining fast. “Okay! You have a good rest of your day then!” She says with a cheery smile. Right, like hell I will.

Yup. Sure will. Time to go home to Mamá and step-daddy and scrub the house clean, and cower away from David’s leather belt. I hate to be brutally honest like I always am, but they’re half the reason I’m in debt for these damn medical bills. I walk down the long flight of stairs and out of the building. Ugh, finally, I’m free.

-X-

I hung my keys and walked into the kitchen and shouted, “I’M HOME!”. No response, of course. I opened the door to my room and took a deep breath. Now I’m home. I closed the door because, privacy ya’ know? I hung my messenger bag on a decorative rung I had 3-d printed in sophomore year of Computer Design. I glanced at my neat wall of vinyl records with bands like “Nirvana” and “Los Campesinos”, right next to the picture of me smiling with my father. On my desk was a stack of books, things I was borrowing but now belong to me, a cup of pencils, and my PC setup I made myself, stickers plastering the frame.

I flopped on my bed, tired as hell. I pulled out my phone and selected a playlist, closing my eyes and drifting in and out of sleep. I dream of the shadows and VHS tapes changing and a loud static in my head. Everything is so unilluminated, and I’m scared, frightened out of my wit at whatever could come out of the wispy darkness. “Jay '' someone says. I look in the darkness, trying to detect where the voice is ringing from. “Jay” I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jolt awake and rub my eyes. When my vision focuses, my mom is standing in the middle of my room, cigarette in hand. “You were screamin’ again. Did you take your damn pills?” No, I hadn’t. I was supposed to take them even if I took a two minute nap. Or else I screamed like a madman.

“David isn’t coming home tonight.” She said, taking a drag of the cancer creator. “ ‘Work’?” I say, not looking at her. She breathes out. “Yeah, ‘work’. I figured you could use the stove tonight then.” She takes one last look at my room and walks out, her shirt askew across her small curved shoulders. She’s not the same anymore. After my dad died in that plane crash, she’s been doing all the wrong things with all the wrong people. I don’t understand why she would want to be in a relationship with that abusive fuck ‘David’ or whatever anyway.

But she still does little things like this, letting me know if and when David’s going to be home, and letting me use the stove to make my empanadas and arroz Rojo or ‘foreign food’ as David calls it. He doesn’t let me cook because it’s too ‘spicy’ for him.

I pull out all my spices and ingredients, ‘Summerland’ by Half Alive still playing in my ears. I’m in the zone, everything how I want it. Cooking the arroz and frying the meat and sauce for empanadas, carefully avoiding the paper cuts on my hands when dicing the jalapeno and cilantro. In the midst of cooking, I decide to make dessert, having a hard time picking either Tres Leches or Concha Bread. I would ask Mamá, but she was half asleep on the tattered La-Z-Boy in the parlor. So I just decide based on what we have the most. A few hours later, mom wakes up, the smell of authentic Mexican food calling her. “Gracias por la comida hijo.” She says, eyes only half open. “De nada mami.” Spanish is another thing David doesn’t like. He can’t understand ‘taco bell’ as he calls it. “Pronto conseguiré un trabajo.” I’m getting a job, I tell Mamá. “¿un trabajo?” she says with no surprise. “¿Sabes cuál?” Do I know which one? I was so focused on getting out of my meetings for a bit,that I hadn’t actually thought of what I would do. “Quizás algo en informática. Se paga bien.” I told her about my computer science classes and how the area of work paid well. Well enough to finish paying the debt to the bills I owed.

“¿Cuándo te convertiste en un hombre tan adulto?” When did I become such a grown man? She looks at me. “uh, el mes pasado mamá.” I had just turned 18 last month on November 7th. I was already an adult, technically. Mamá just looked at me and shook her head. “Ya sabes a qué me refiero, joven.” She said sassily. I laughed, enjoying our little corner of the universe, where we were safe. I brought out the Concha Bread and Mamá’s eyes lit up. “Mi Favorita! ” I smiled at her happiness, “¡Solo para ti! “. Just for you! “Hijo, ¡me estropeas!” You spoil me, She says with a laugh.

We finished dinner, and I tucked Mamá into bed. I piled up the dishes, planning to do them tomorrow, and pulled out my phone to look at available jobs in my area. I pulled up Yelp and look for an IT job. No such luck. I tried Indeed next, again, nada. The hours passed, websites were searched, and still, no IT or Cyber Security jobs in my area.

I give up and try to find a decent paying job not too far from home.There are some alright ones and then there's the ones that look a little shady. I filter out my results so I don’t wish myself an early funeral. And then I found it, THE GOLDEN JOB!!! The golden job is this thing me and my computer friends would do when we were job hunting. You search for a job, filter it, and whoever had the best job at the end could dare anyone to do anything (within reason of course). One time, my friend Alex won and he got everybody to buy him something from DQ.

But this job seemed too good to be true. Just down town in the suburbs, away from the city, is a fancy estate house. The owners died a few years ago and this little old lady is looking for someone to clean it up for resale, as she is getting on in her years. The pay is good enough to pay for my bills though. All that's left now is to make the call…

Question Everything: “Wil”

Do you ever get that feeling that you’re constantly being watched? Like eyes are constantly trained on you? As if existing is a cause for concern. “Hey Wil,can you pass me the arroz?” I snap out of my daze, “Huh? Oh sure, Tio.” The house is hectic today, cousins running around and Aunts and Uncles drinking and talking. Nobody in the family liked to be around me and Tio Hector felt bad about that, so he sat with me at all the family meets.

“Ei, você está bem?” Tio says, I smile dancing on his lips. I play along, “Sim, só pensando... e você?” I’m just thinking, what about you? I say this with the same smile playing on my lips. Tio just laughs, “You silly, I’m always fine! Como foi a terapia hoje?” He asks about therapy. He cares but I don’t need therapy. We’re just wasting money we don’t have. “Ah, o mesmo de sempre. Ela apenas traz à tona as mesmas coisas…” Same old, Same old. The lady doesn’t even have a plan for me to get ‘better’. Tio just smiles and says, “Talvez ela esteja louca!”. He bursts out with laughter, making the house feel a little more homely.

Some more family members enter the kitchen, filing up on more drinks and food. I feel so uncomfortable around them, as they do around me. A hate/hate relationship, I guess. Tio sensed my unease and acted as necessary. “Ignore-os, eles estão aqui apenas para ficar bêbados e conseguir babá de graça.” He said they’re alone at the event to get drunk and get free babysitting. He knew this would make me smile, because not only was it funny, it was true.

I stand and push in my chair. “Vejo você mais tarde, tio. Tenho que ir para casa. Trabalho ocupado para ser feito.” Tio stands, “Trabalhar? OK, te vejo mais tarde. But don’t stress yourself! Or else you’ll end up like Aunt Maria!” He laughs. We hug and I leave, off to drive to my small apartment.

-X-

I got in and locked the doors and tossed my keys anywhere, I didn’t care at this point, my stuff was already everywhere. Boxes were still piled up from a month or two ago, from when I left the family house and moved out on my own. I toe my way on my cold floors, slowly inching my way to my room. LED lights are strung up, drawings and sketches hung up from AP Art classes. A picture of me and Tio sits on my nightstand. We were at a fair, eating bad funnel cakes and playing games. He won me the very avocado plushie that rests on my bed right now that day.

My laptop rests on my desk, covered in stickers I had designed myself, still open on my DAW program with a music track in queue. I slam it shut, too tired to even think about any actual work. I collapse to the bed. I don’t fall asleep, but just lay there. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with more scars. I lay horizontally, drinking in the late afternoon sunlight, absorbing all the details of my room. It’s kinda like when you’re waiting for something but can only leave at a certain time, so you wait and actually notice all the little things in your life.

A boom rings from upstairs. Ugh, the neighbors. I finally decided that I had rested long enough and had to do something productive. The therapist said something about getting a job or whatever, so that I could ‘get myself in the right headspace’. I already had a job, but it was one my family didn't approve of, and if I mentioned that to the therapist we would have a WHOLE discussion about ‘how that made me feel’ or, ‘what I could do to change their perspective’.

I didn’t have the time for that, and hell, I needed a buck. So, restlessly, I snatch my laptop and open Yelp and Indeed and other numerous job websites and applications. Hours later, you would think I would discover a decent art job! Even a graphics designer looking for an assistant in the heart of New York! But Nada. I gave up a half hour later, deciding to just filter my results for easy, high paying jobs in a calm area (so that way I wasn’t lost in Time Square).

What comes up is some crack-head craigslist kinda shit but some of the jobs are promising. I filter again to get rid of the cuckoo's and 9-5 jobs, settling for something more temp style. This narrows down my search even more, drastically not giving a fuck about my opinion, and only showing one or two results. Eenie Minie Moe later and I found the thing to shut Susan up about the job. A cleaning job, high pay, pick my own hours, AND! When the estate sells I get 2% of the profit sold. It’s this little old lady, selling the home and land of her dead son and daughter-in-law, just wanting to get it in shape before resale.

I applied for the application and got it sent. I go to the kitchen to eat some trashy dried ramen in a bowl I haven’t washed in a week, and decide what time my body wants to deal with sleep and pain.

-X-

I woke up late that morning, my knees bloodied. Fuck. I tip-toe to the bathroom and get out my huge first aid kit. I disinfect and clean, avoid infection and patch it all up with a huge band aid. I've learned the art of self-aid with my eyes closed and hands tied by now. Fixed, for now.

I checked my phone, surprised to see a notification from the lady with the estate this early. She says my application checks out and that the latest I can start today is 11:30 am. Well, at least I can choose when I leave. I glance at the clock, gauging how much time I get to blow before leaving to find the property. 10:29…okay. Shower, skip breakfast today, and attempt to clean. Like hell I'm gonna clean. It’s just not in my nature anymore.

Flashforward and I’m running to my car to get there on time because my sense of time is horrible. I showered and barely had time to get my boxers on. So, looking like a lunatic, brandishing my disheveled hair and soggy bandaids barely hanging on by a thread, I booked it to my car.

more to come soon!!

tagging:@thinkingaboutctommy @paldeanbooper (my writer buddy:@wiblursaystuff) @vibestillaxxx @gay-mooshrooms @colleenispunk @wormsinsdirt (another writer buddy:@teagica)

#al was here!#hector estaba aqui!#proceed with caution at my blog #my work!!#al writes...#Hector escribes...

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edgyandoverzealous · 2 years

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Bacause Cringe culture is dead and I am back in my FNAF SB phase. Explaining your Kins as the therapist friend but I'm feeling salty so it's all just calling you out. Except I felt bad after a little bit so they each have a funny/lighthearted one calling me out.

Glamrock Freddy

How's those daddy issues doing?

Was he emotionally absent, physically absent, or was he just distant and unaffectionate?

I'm willing to bet he called you superstar once and you immediately started kinning.

Additionally how're those abandonment issues treating ya?

On a scale from 1/10 how displeased were you when Freddy got dragged away by moon 'cause he powered down before he got to the charging station?

You know he originally was gonna turn on you right? That would worsen your abandonment issues, you should thank Scott for that one.

You are the parent friend btw, Ily please bring bandaids and painkillers I'm accident prone and ignore pain until it's unbearable. We may be going to the ER</3

Glamrock Chica

Are you a Lesbian? Or are you the oldest child who uses gentle techniques of sibling-parenting?

How do you feel knowing you probably aren't listened to?

How's your mommy issues doing?

Do you mayhaps think that people won't want you unless you give them something?

Do you feel like no one takes care of you but you always have to take care of everyone else?

How's your relationship with food going? Yeah, me too. Note that chica physically can't eat by the end as well.

Do you even speak/Do you ever shut up?

Scared of overcoddling but also terrified of taking a step back and away because you feel like if you stop they'll all leave you much?

Choir/Band/Theatre kid or grandparent friend with hard candies in their purse that I would eat wrapper and all because intrusive thought said to and shiny.

Roxxane Wolf

So are you a Lesbian, furry, or e-girl simp? Or are you the oldest child who uses more forceful/low-key mean techniques of sibling-parenting?

How's the crippling self doubt and God complex treating you?

How's crying in your room because you yelled at them and said something mean but don't know how to say sorry going?

What about that inferiority complex?

Pushing everyone away because they'll only leave you? Ding ding ding we have a winner.

Burnt out perfectionist?

You're the type of friend whose love language is bullying and play fighting. Be careful you don't make your friend cry, I am the friend that'd cry.

Monty Gator

Self-destructive behavior, pent up aggression and always looking for a reason to fight?

Anger issues much? Or do you just simp for Bonnie's replacement because you saw one too many human Monty edits?

You're probably short too, huh? Just like the fuse you have when given a chance. Or your big and burly which also is terrifying.

How's your constant existential crisis going?

Do you feel like there's a looming expectation that's too big for you to fill over your head?

Do you feel like you're never first choice?

That you're simply a replacement for everyone else?

How about respect? Do you ever give or receive it? No?

Are you always restless? Yeah? Thought so.

You're the protective friend who is willing to throw hands with anyone who disturbs their friends. Me too honestly, I've been held back on multiple occasions because I'm a short queer man and it's in my veins.

Glamrock Bonnie

So are you still sobbing over that one line, you know the one, or are you living on fan theories? Like how are you still kicking?

How's your mental health? Bad? Yeah I thought so.

Anxiety and depression kin you honey? <3

Disasciotiating royalty, you.

You long for something in your past that cannot be changed.

You fall for what you know you can't have and never will be obtained, don't you?

You felt robbed by the game and that's okay. I miss him too.

Sun/Moon

You scare me, legitimately you scare me. Y'alls fandom is legitimately impressive especially for insert types. You have one of every flavor and are insanely good at drawing the skrunglies less skrungly. Good for you.

Additionally how's healing your inner child going?

And those mommy and daddy issues?

I'm sorry you weren't held as a child?

Too busy parenting everyone else to have been cared for the same?

Forced to grow up too fast?

You were definitely a traumatized child. Adults let you down and now you seek comfort in a robot of two extremes as unstable as your adolescence.

You're the "childish" friend. Silly, sweet, and full of fun but you are by no means innocent. That was stolen from you a long time ago.

Also you either can't sleep or you oversleep or both.

Mapbot

You scare me, legitimately you scare me. The scariest bots in the game??? Really??? Those buddies??? Okay???? Honestly the healthiest option tbh.

You are either a troll or a disaster bisexual or an enby.

You cling to people because you don't want them to leave you, but that pushes them away more often than not.

How does it feel to be so underated and the "side character" in your own life?

You blend in wherever you go even when you want to be seen or when you want someone to help you.

By the way how's the constant desperation going? Aren't you tired of being sane? Don't you want to go absolutely feral?

#fnaf sb #glamrock freddy #glamrock bonnie #glamrock chica #montgomery gator #roxxane wolf #kin assigning #mapbot #sundrop #moondrop #this is meant to be lighthearted #im sorry in advance #my entire blog is going to be things like this and im sorry if it's inaccurate #im sorry that Bonnie's is short but the man literally died before game #like what was i supposed to do make them more sad???#don't hurt me im on your side and in the fandom #sorry if this is incomprehensible #im exhausted

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kamii-2 · 6 months

Text

how i think the outsider boys would react to you coming out as lesbian

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so like this is my first time writing headcannons so i’m very sorry if they suck 😭 please enjoy this post and have a good day :))

i’m sorry that some of them are short then others 😞 idk what to put for them

warnings: mentions of homophobia, cussing, and slurs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ponyboy curtis

he would most definitely support you

he would probably ask what it meant

after you told him he would say something along the lines of “OHHH, we’ll just know i support you” and give you a big hug

he would (attempt to) stick up for you if someone was homophobic to you

he would try to put you on with EVERY girl you say is pretty

he would help you tell the rest of the gang about you being lesbian

during pride month he would definitely give you some kind of rainbow or lesbian flag colored gift 😭

he would probably cry when you tell him bc you trust him enough to tell him first

he will definitely almost out you a couple times

like i can imagine him trying to make some random man leave you alone and he says something like “she doesn’t even like bo- ..you.”

johnny cade

johnny wouldn’t know what to say at first 😭

like he would just stare at you then say “..what?”

you’d probably have to explain to him what it means

he would thinks it’s a disease or something

he start to freak out a little 😭 “what does that mean? is it a sickness? is it contagious?”

he would most definitely support you

yk bc he’s gay and all (just like ponyboy)

he would ask you who ur crush is then ask pony to help out you guys on

he would probably accidentally out you to the whole group

like i can imagine him saying something along the line of “so how’s everything going with you and your girlfriend?” then everyone stares at you 😭

tbh i can’t really picture hum doing/saying anything else to you besides checking up on you and your crush/girlfriend

he seems like he wouldn’t care if you were lesbian or straight or anything else

dally winston

he would laugh at you at first bc he tougher you were joking

once he sees you not smiling he said “oh- you’re for real?”

he would be slightly homophobic 😭

he’s the type of guy to accidentally out you to the whole town

he would beat up anybody who made fun of you

he would says slurs but not in a mean way (ifykwim)

bro would jokingly bully you for being gay

like he would say stuff like “that’s why you’re gay” and you would say “don’t you like girls too?”

dally would see something rainbow and immediately say something to/about you

*sees rainbow cup at store* “look its your twin” and he would start laughing extremely loud after 😭

just like pony, he would try and put you on with EVERY SINGLE GIRL you call fine or look at

sodapop curtis

he would give you a big fat hug when you come out to him

he would start to cry a little 😭

he would protect you from homophobes

i could see him yelling at someone or beating them up bc they were homophobic to you

he would be so nice to you and help you with any type of relationship problems

he would be ur therapist

“soda i don’t even know what to do anymore man, i just want her so bad but-“ “shhhh it’s okay, why don’t you find a new crush?”

soda would somehow get you with your crush after only talking to her about you one time

“sooo…how do you feel about my friend y/n?” and then he would go on for like 30 minutes on why she should be with you and stuff like that

he would also get you gifts for pride month 😭

steve randle

he would be kinda frozen for a second

“steve…i like girls..” “……….me too”

he would be super duper chill about it

he would help you with any type of relationship advice or anything to do with relationships

he would teach you how to flirt

he would help you get ready for dates

he would definitely ask you to work at the DX with him and soda just to see hot girls all day (and to actually work, but mostly to look at girls all day long)

he would give you pep talks before dates/asking girls out

two-bit matthews

biggest hype man ever

would yell in happiness at you telling him

you both go to the nightly double and rate random girls

“what about that broad over there” “7/10”

you both have completely different taste in women

“that lady that just walked by was fine as hell” “two-bit matthews, that lady was ugly”

he would be so interested in all of your love life drama (all of the guys are)

he would give the worst advice ever

like don’t trust any advice he gives you bc you might get beat up 😭

he would say slurs aswell but once you tell him what they mean, he would stop

“stop it fag” “two… that’s a slur” “IM SO SORRY, I DIDNT KNOW” then he would give you a big hug 😭

he would attempt to be ur relationship therapist but would fail horribly

darry curtis

he would not care at all

“darry.. i’m gay” “…okay?”

he would protect you from homophobes (they all would)

he would let you rant to him about your love life

idk what to put for him 😭

i’m so very sorry this one is so short

—————————————

i hope you guys enjoyed this post :)) i hope you all have a good day!! bye love you all 💋💋

#the outsiders #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #dally winston #two bit mathews #steve randle #lesbian #platonic!reader #headcannons

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pogostikk · 9 months

Text

I socialized too much and I can’t draw now, so I’m gonna get my thoughts out by infodumping my au. It’s gonna be all over the place and full of different subjects cause I’m combining all the drafts I had together, but I’ll make it work.

To begin, I was thinking about abt what would happen if Steven met an off color, like a gem who emerged “wrong” and was in hiding, or a fusion in need of help.

And I totally think he would want to help them, but he’s a human with no power, so what does he do? Sneak them into his and Star’s room to ask the pink diamond for help.

I think it would be cute if Steven and Star secretly helped out off colors as much as they could, and when the CGs kept trying to convince him that Star wasn’t a good person and had been manipulating Steven, he’d be like “…mmmm you ever actually met him? Cause he’s like a (insert some sort of gem term version of saint)”.

(It also just occurred to me that Steven and Star are twins, and while Steven was born, it took Star a second to form, which means Steven is the older twin. I feel like that’s funny)

I’ve been thinking about Steven’s outfit and why he’s got the clown getup in the first place. Because Star would never dress baby Steeb that way cause he doesn’t want Steven to feel like his job is to entertain others. Although I don’t think Steven considers clowns or jesters as entertainers specifically, but moreso that their jobs are to make people happy.

And his first friend was Spinel, who’s purpose is to make other people happy and be their friend, and if Steven could be any gem he’d probably want to be a spinel. I think he wants all these things and dresses this way out of some unspoken guilt. He realized really young how much Star was sacrificing and suffering for Steven and how out of his control it all really was. I think of those kids who have parents who have financial problems, so they feel guilty and like a burden for having needs.

Anyways getting off track again, I think he dresses not like a clown but like a spinel because he wants to make Star and all the other hardworking gems happy, probably because he doesn’t think he’s good for anything else.

It’s kind of sad and of course part of it is just because he (and I) thinks clown outfit are cool and fun and colorful, but I wanted to explain that a bit cause Steven would only ever have that conversation with his future therapist lol

Also, I think the idea of Steven never being attracted to anyone ever until Connie is pretty funny. Like no doubt there was no education whatsoever regarding romantic relationships on Homeworld, sure he’s heard about gems who loved each other so much that they fused for seemingly no purpose, but he can’t fuse and he’s not a gem. And Star told him bits and pieces about the zoo (and maybe Rose) but that’s still not enough.

And then he meets Connie and for awhile he doesn’t realize it but he finds this other human so beautiful and cool and talented, he likes her hair and voice and probably thinks she deserves to be told that, while Connie who developed a crush on him first is trying not to die at constantly listening to Steven say things to her that sounds like blatant flirting even when she knows he probably doesn’t even get it.

I also think for awhile he would just be completely oblivious to his feelings, and then he gets to Earth and meets Garnet, and Greg tells him about his relationship with Rose, and he just sees a wide variety of human bonds and at some point it would just click.

I think once Steven and Connie come to terms with their feelings and confessed to each other, Connie would want Steven to seriously educate himself on human relationships and communication. Just because she doesn’t want him to walk into something he’s not entirely prepared for, and she’d want him to be sure he actually likes her too.

OHHH I just realized I never talk about what Star actually does in his time as a diamond!!

I always think it’s silly cause he inherited the pink diamond court from his mom, but the first pink diamond and him are two very different personalities, and he doesn’t actually care that much for what he does (probably bc his coded purpose isn’t to be the new pink diamond). Steven has fun with it tho.

Anyways, I always felt like Blue and Yellow Diamond were taking care of production, like I felt like they oversee things like gem kindergartens, colonizing planets, maybe designing new technology, etc,. While White Diamond would oversee gem laws, the identity of her amazing empire, basically just, making sure everything is a “perfect reflection of her”. She already colonized so many planets, I wonder if she stopped cause she used up all her essence… I’m getting off topic again nvm.

But Pink, the littlest diamond, definitely took care of culture and celebrations, like come on she used to throw balls for her diamond families’ accomplishments. And Star totally inherited that.

I also imagine his court would be considered a bit controversial compared to the other courts, which often times has him being set apart from the other diamonds even further… lots of older gems and the diamonds don’t have a lot of respect for him, I mean all gems under the diamonds treat him as a diamond, but he’s not oblivious to the very quiet rumors that are said about him.

And I mean, he doesn’t need nor want their respect, it certainly wouldn’t be mutual if he had it. He’s got the respect of his own court, and he cares for his gems too. Steven always comes first, but he does feel responsible for his gems. And I think a lot of his gems ended up embodying his views in some ways. Especially if he’s made gems.

Has he made gems with his own diamond essence? That is if he did assist Blue and Yellow with gem production for his court.. but do we know how long it takes to make a batch of gems? He’s only like, sixteen years old, and it’s gonna take way longer then that, if he had a human life span would he even live to see his gems? If not that’s kinda sad. But also the other diamonds might not even let him near gem production or colonizing planets. Not for a longggg time.

As for Star’s personal views, which I think I’ve mentioned a few times, is a bit in the grey area.

Ultimately, he is a prisoner on his own planet, an a lot of his choices and actions were because the diamonds were holding Steven’s life over his head. His morals and values, as well as other things, needs more time to build because he’s not actually that free to explore it all. I think after the empire is liberated, and he’s gotten a good amount of rest, he’d spend some time trying to figure out who he really is beyond Steven’s other half.

As I’ve said, Steven comes first. He was made for Steven, albeit it was an accident, but Star takes it very seriously and loves his kid very much. But he’ll do good when possible. Like I said at the beginning of this post, Steven sometimes brings off colors in need of help to Star. And he’ll do what he can to help. Healing a cracked gem, showing them to safer areas of the kindergarten, getting them off of Homeworld if he can, even pardoning gems in trial who did nothing wrong but would have been considered guilty.

A lot of those values come from Rose Quartz. After all, in a way, she became him. And part of her stuck with him. He feels horrible when he’s forced to hurt an innocent gem. He couldn’t care less if a gem actually did something wrong, though.

Well I had a lot of fun writing this, but it is a bit chaotic, so I hope it was cohesive enough.

#steven universe #su au #human steven #pink steven #connie maheswaran #connverse #hoo boy that’s a lotta words #I could probably organize this better #I’ll look into that later

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jihyoruri · 19 days

Note

me when it’s time for the yearly anon confession potluck and I have to admit that to me… wowyn.. is just.. 🙂. I think she is a little toxic and the wonyn situation takes me out so bad like it’s genuinely the funniest thing to me EVER. like I can not explain why but the wonyoung is like eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway! and wowyn just… listens tew her😭😭like ur telling me wowyn breaks up w girls If wonyoung doesn’t like them LMFAOO😭

idk for some reason wowyn to me is more of a loser than loseryn not even in a mean way just.. I don’t know I feel like if I met her fr I’d be like.. ur such a sad person…

moving past this… who is your favorite yn? we all know mine…

(1. shamelessyn 2. richgirl yn 3. aespayn/firecrackeryn)

i may not be the president of the aespayn or richgirlyn fanclub but I’m actually both of their therapists btw. yeah Ik you guys don’t know but my side gig is actually fixing them. yeah no aespayn is in the trenches… it’s bad in these streets. (I love richgirlyn almost the same amount as shamelessyn I’m a cheater sorry)

also side note I am sat for anything u write but I hope you continue to explore richgirlyn’s dynamic with chaewon and the other members.. idk maybe it’s bc I grew up with a lot of money but the way ppl w wealth act has always been so.. weird tew me. like I know these r just sillay yn works but I feel like people who write rich characters forget like.. these r the most emotionally stunted people on earth. they never learned to socialize or explain their emotions 😭dealing w rich people is insane because no one talks abt anything or knows how to interact with regular people like they have such hard times w it for some reason?? (because they never had to)

ANYWAY sorry for the long ask 😞I hope we get some aespayn fans out here for 4/20 SHOW SUPPORT FOR UR GIRL😭😭

-🎏

LOL babes imma have to correct you on some things. 😭

it’s not that wony is like “eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway!” she’s genuinely playing hard to get with yn, she feels like yn will always wait for her so she just doesn’t want to get into a relationship just as yet, I think I’ve mentioned it in early asks but wonyoung is playing hard to get with yn😭. wonyn is really a sad situation when you think about it because they’d be really good for each other but they’re not on the same page at all like wow!yn doesn’t think wonyoung likes her even tho wony does hold some feelings for her but she’s waiting it out but realizing that her time is running out. The only reason why wow!yn breaks up with people sometimes if wony doesn’t like them because wonyoung is genuinely her best friend if Giselle didn’t like one of yn’s gfs yn would probably break up with them as well, it’s so easy for her do that because she was just bored like she wasn’t in the relationship for real feelings if she acc had real feelings for the person it would be a different story take winter for example BOTH wonyoung and yujin didn’t like her and yn knew that but yn didn’t break up with her because she genuinely liked her but then she realized that she genuinely liked her so she broke up with her LMAOOOOOO. I wouldn’t call wow!yn a loser because she genuinely has problems, she has some mental instability. like her problems with her dad has definitely affected how she thinks about things and butchers how her mind functions in certain situations, she is a sad person tho. ANYWAYS moving on from wow!yn

my favourite yn and wow!yn and nwjns!yn THE SISTERS honestly I love wow!yn because she’s my most complex yn and honestly she’s just such a shit head and it’s so fun and amusing writing her and nwjns!yn is just a sweet mess like when I finally introduced her fic you guys will see what I mean, she’s the exact opposite of her sister 😭 (also a respectful mention of aespa!yn)

LOL they both need therapists for real so you got the job‼️ aespa!yn is a mess she’s a rich mess (I just took in that you like the two extremely rich yn’s LOL also firecracker!yn is always on someone’s favourite list and it always makes me laugh LMAOOO)

yes I am totally gonna explore richgirl!yn more, I tried my best to give a small peak into richgirl!yn having some problems I was so happy when you picked up on it in ur last ask for her

I honestly love long asks so much so this was fun to read LOL and thank you so much for reading and enjoying my works

#🎏anon

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