#Either way the fates really said get FUCKED

[miraculouslumination]

I really do wonder how much the beholder was planned and how much Matt just wanted to fuck things up for everyone at the table

#Jean mumbles #Either way the fates really said get FUCKED #The Sunken Tomb #I was kind of hoping it would be one of those like giant tentacle fish monsters #Aberreth or whatever it's called #Aquatic horrors!! Are so cool!!

[haetrack]

your fate, my karma

jung jaehyun x fem!reader

wc: 11.7k

synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you. but he can’t help it, it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret.

warnings: angst, little fluff, friends with benefits, pining, one sided love, confession, argument, smut (MDNI), desperate jaehyun, unprotected sex (pulling out), possessiveness and jealousy, dialogue heavy at some parts

heavily inspired by somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra

part three to the how it all goes series!

you're laid back onto his bed, heavy breaths fanned across your face. on top of you is jaehyun, cheeks dusted with pink as his fingers are still move inside of you. “stop already,” you huff out a laugh, “i might die if you make me cum one more time.”

he chuckles at your words and slowly pulls his fingers out of you, sucking obscenely on them just to annoy you. it works, and you cover your eyes to get the image out of your head. you don’t offer to help him out, and he doesn’t ask for any favors.

he’s not really sure how his friendship with you got to this point. if he could put it simply, you told him that you had feelings for him, asking if he felt the same way. he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he wasn’t ready to be so vulnerable in front of another person. he still wanted to be friends with you. 

he remembers seeing sadness flash through your eyes, but you just smiled at him and accepted the answer that you got. in a way, jaehyun wished he could like you back, he hated the way he hurt you, but he just wasn’t ready. you were wary around him, trying to hide the hurt that he caused you. he couldn’t bear to see it, and hated how much you were hiding from him.

which is how he finds you next to him, curled up in his bed after he’s made you cum. he knows it probably wasn’t the best idea to propose, but he didn’t know how else he could keep you close. when he explains it to himself in his head, it sounds shitty, makes him feel a little fucked up. he tries to justify it, but really, all of this is a temporary fix to keep you close to him.

despite all the grey areas in his friendship with you, he’s certain about one thing: he really does like having you around. he’s chalked it up to his feelings just being from how long he’s known you, but he knows that there’s something else he doesn’t want to admit. because one, it’s fucked. two, he’s rejected you. three, he can’t like you.

he can’t like like you. he doesn’t even want to imagine thinking about the other word, but it plays at the back of his head sometimes. he hears it when you’re both out at a bar together, watching you drunkenly cling to his side. he hears it when you’re at his apartment after work. he hears it when your eyes look up at his when you drop to your knees.

he can hear it even now as you lay next to him, curled up into his side as your breaths even out. it doesn’t feel weird that he can feel your naked body against his, his best friend comfortably laid up next to him. is it so wrong of him to want this? you became more comfortable around him again after he had sex with you. he knows it’s just a temporary solution.

he can feel your breaths across his chest, your face nuzzling closer to him. he could move you away, could create a clearer boundary between the two of you. he feels a little selfish when he lets you stay there, deciding to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he pushes you closer. it’s not fair to either of you, he’s not your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be this close to you. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the sound of cars driving down the road and the occasional huff you let out in your sleep. he isn’t tired at all, too lost in his thoughts as he stares up at the ceiling, the warmth of your body taking up all his thoughts. if he could, he would go back in time and stop you from confessing. he would’ve done it himself in the future, he just needed a little more time.

he can’t blame you though. it’s his fault for rejecting you, it’s his fault for thinking that he could make something happen out of this. there’s a small part of his heart that believes that you could like him again. you wouldn’t come back to him for sex every night, right? but the more realistic part of him knows that it could mean anything.

which is why he can’t stop you coming to him when you’re needy. it’s not even just those times, but he doesn’t think he could ever willingly cut you off. he likes spending time with you, and above everything else, you’re his friend.

he just can’t help but wish it could be a little more than that.

you always ask jaehyun to come over if he has the time.

as you both have grown older, it feels like you both have lost more and more time. when you were both college students, it was easy to skip a few classes and go to parties each night. but now as adults, it’s hard to find time for each other. which is why you ask him to go do mundane tasks with you, like buying groceries or trying on clothes.

today it’s going over to eat with him.

before he rejected you, it felt special to be invited to do these kinds of things with him. out of all the people he could’ve asked, he chose you. it didn’t take long for you to realize that, no, jaehyun asking you to spend time with him meant nothing but him being friendly. it’s weird looking back at how much you wanted jaehyun to like you more than a friend. 

as you make your way to his apartment, you realize how much time you spent just wishing for something to happen between you two. you wonder if it was something that was ever supposed to happen between you, or maybe if the timing just wasn’t right. you used to find yourself thinking about the what ifs after he had freshly rejected you. but now, you try to focus on what you have.

he’s just your friend, and you’re close to accepting that it’ll probably never be more than that. 

when you make it to his apartment, you don’t see him right away. you call out his name, hearing his voice from his kitchen. when you head over, you’re expecting a nice meal laid out for the two of you to eat. instead, you’re greeted by jaehyun standing by the stove, a stupid smile on his face as he greets you.

“so, you invite me over to come and eat.”

he nods, smile growing wider, “yes.”

“but i’m not seeing any food.”

“that’s because you’re gonna help me.”

you stare at him. he starts moving towards you, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. he starts dragging you towards where he was standing. you start whining, “you don’t need my help. you’re a whole grown man who can cook whatever he wants.”

he laughs, “but i need you to be my other chef… what are they called?”

you roll your eyes, “a sous chef?”

“exactly,” he points at you, as if you just solidified his argument, “what if i forget something and i need your help?”

you pat his shoulder, “then you call me while i sit over on the couch.”

he’s about to give up, but he swears there’s a certain look in your eyes that ask him to keep going. that’s how it always feels with you, a certain push-and-pull that you both can’t let go of. your fingers twitch against his shoulder, almost giving you away. he moves to hold your hand, “how about you at least watch me on the side. i just wanna talk to you.”

you almost want to point out his pouty tone, want to laugh at how there’s a frown on his face. but you can’t. he looks a little too sincere, and you don’t want to think too hard about the feelings he doesn’t have for you. you sigh, eventually giving into his words. it’s always like this, jaehyun acting like he can’t go on without you. that’s what got you here in the first place.

he smiles when you approach him, so close that his arm is touching yours. it doesn’t matter how long or how many times he’s had sex with you, to have you close to him like this makes his heart soar. 

it’s like this for the whole time you both cook. your hands lightly grazing his, the sweet smile you show him when he does good, the laugh you let out when he messes up. you take over some parts for him without him asking you to. he can’t help let his mind wander, thinking this is how it would be all the time if you two were dating.

he wouldn’t have to beg you to do something with him, you would do it on your own accord. he wouldn’t have to hold back how much he wants to kiss you, he could press as many kisses on your cheeks or lips. he could stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you forcibly kick him off of cooking duty.

instead, he’s standing in front of the food he’s making, probably overcooking it as you point and laugh at him. you even take out your phone to take a picture of him, laughing as you fiddle with your phone. he swats at you, grumbling, “if you posted that on instagram, i am definitely blocking you.”

“you know me so well. i tagged you and everything.”

he chooses not to respond, taking out plates from his cabinet for the both of you. he can see you standing next to him, waiting to plate your food. he quickly decides to plate it for you, trying to hide his pink cheeks as he pushes the plate towards you. when he’s plating his own, you speak up, “wow, what a gentleman!” he can hear the teasing tone you use, “you’re really setting the bar for all men, aren’t you, jaehyun?”

he decides to tease you back, “just trying to show you how much nicer i am than you are. you should post this on instagram, too.”

“nope, letting all my followers know how mean and horrible of a cook you are. i’m ruining your chances of getting with someone.”

he shakes his head in amusement, moving to one of the seats on his small dining table. you follow, sitting right across from him. he messes with his phone a bit before you can hear that it’s connected to his speakers. an unfamiliar tune starts playing as you watch jaehyun’s head bob along to the song. 

this is how it always is, eating together, listening to his annoyingly good music taste, and enjoying each other’s presence. the food he cooked is surprisingly good, but you try to denounce it because you did help him along the way. it’s quiet between the two of you, nothing really too important to talk about.

jaehyun notices your fingers tapping along the table to the beat of the song. he smiles, “do you like it? the song?”

you pretend to think about it, “hm... well, it’s good.”

“you’re not gonna secretly shazam it under the table like last time?”

“that was literally a one time thing,” you huff, “i’ll just go and find someone with the exact same music taste as you.”

he smiles to himself, “you know there’s no one else like me.”

you think about his words for a bit. he probably didn’t mean for them to have a double meaning, but you can’t help but find one. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to find someone who could’ve made you as happy as jaehyun does. you wonder if you do find someone, you’ll be able to forget jaehyun.

you feel like you’ve become so intertwined in his life that everything might lead back to him.

you eventually nod along to his words, “yeah, there’s no one else like you.”

“you’re kinda an ass for not picking her up yourself.”

jaehyun huffs at johnny’s words. it’s not that he didn’t want to, but you had assured him that you would make it on time. when he brought up your safety, you said that it was taken care of already. jaehyun couldn’t help but wonder who or what could possibly be more safe than him, but he didn’t want to argue. 

but now that you’re a little late, he can’t stop himself from worrying. johnny makes it worse, tearing into him, teasing him with every word. jaehyun hasn’t told him about his surfacing feelings for you, but johnny is notoriously nosy, probably knowing the exact day jaehyun thought that he started liking you. 

johnny takes one more jab at him, “she would’ve liked you more if you’d been the one who brought her.”

jaehyun’s shoulder bumps into johnny’s, “she already does like me a lot, so there’s no need for all of that.”

johnny shrugs, letting out an if you say so as he sips on his drink. as much as jaehyun wants to deny it, he really wishes he could’ve at least given you a ride. he would’ve immediately ditched johnny if you asked, would’ve been right outside your doorstep as soon as you said you were ready. he wants to tell himself that that’s just what friends do, but there’s something he doesn’t want to admit.

his hands move to pull out his phone, scrolling through your messages from the past hours. he knows he’s made a mistake as soon as he feels johnny’s eyes looking at his screen from over his shoulder. jaehyun makes a jokingly shocked face at johnny to try to distract him, but johnny’s face mirrors his own. 

johnny’s about to say something with a teasing smile on his face and jaehyun’s ready to stop him. instead, a ding comes from his phone, calling their attention. it’s a text from you, letting jaehyun know that you’re outside. he sends a text to you, his eyes moving to the entrance as he waits for you to walk in.

and there you are.

your eyes scan the room, looking for both him and johnny. jaehyun can feel his cheeks heat up at the sight of you, your face illuminated by the warm lights of the bar. he thinks you look pretty all the time, but now that he’s seeing you like this, he wants to keep it in his memory forever.

you quickly spot them, your face brightening up with a smile as you make your way towards them. you greet the two of them, johnny easily bringing you into a hug. when you turn to jaehyun, you expect the same, but his eyes stay on you for a moment too long. he notices your teasing smile, quickly clearing his throat before wrapping his arms around you.

johnny starts, “always so fashionably late.”

you laugh, “if i don’t come, who else is gonna be the funniest and sexiest person in our friend group?”

johnny moves to tuck an invisible strand of hair behind his ear, “i was holding that position just fine before you came.”

you slap his shoulder, a fit of laughter taking over you. jaehyun watches the two of you, quietly laughing at the side. he likes the dynamic the three of you have, always mentally thanking johnny for introducing you to him. he’d endure all of johnny’s teasing for years if it meant to have you laughing at his side.

it stays like this for a while. the three of you drinking together, laughing when johnny tries dragging you closer to the middle of the room to dance. jaehyun can feel his cheeks get hotter, pink from the alcohol and the not-so-visible adoration he holds for you. he tries to quiet his feelings, but when you lean into his side, your warm body pressing against his, he figures he can give up the act a little.

it’s at times like these where jaehyun realizes that he can see the you from before the rejection. it’s a bit selfish for him crave this side of you, the one where you don’t care how much you touch him or how you continue talking into his ear all night. he thinks that if you were both dating, he could lean over and press a kiss to your cheek, watching as you nuzzle into his side.

for now, all he can do is wrap his arm around yours as you both sway side to side. johnny went off to get another drink, promising to be back quickly. jaehyun has this little time to have you all to himself, listening to the loud chattering around him and the bass of the music loud in his ears. your eyes are closed, humming along to the song.

jaehyun could easily whisper into your ear about his feelings. you probably wouldn’t remember either way, but he knows it’s not right. it’s not like he’d want to do it this way, wanting to tell you honestly. but there’s a growing part inside his brain that’s begging him to do something about it. he has you so close now, so why can’t just say that he likes you?

the thoughts dissipate when johnny comes back, smile on his face with three more drinks in hand. johnny quickly notices how your arm is intertwined with jaehyun’s, and jaehyun can physically see the moment johnny comes up with a plan. jaehyun doesn’t bother moving from his spot, though, willing to sacrifice his humility just to have you by his side.

as if jaehyun wasn’t having thoughts of kissing or dating you, the conversation turns back to normal. the three of you chatting, exchanging work gossip and taking drinks from your cups. it’s like every night this happens, it’s a regular routine of talking and him having to fight back his more than friendly thoughts of his friend. 

except this time, while johnny’s explaining how he thinks his boss might be having an affair, you cut him off. johnny jokingly scoffs, turning to where you’re looking at. you both squeal, johnny’s hands finding your shoulders, shaking them back and forth. you gasp, “that’s him, right?”

johnny matches your tone, “totally him! i could recognize him from anywhere!”

raising an eyebrow in your direction, jaehyun asks, “and who exactly are we talking about?”

you turn back at him, “that’s jungwoo, someone we knew from college!”

the name sounds familiar to jaehyun. there’s probably been a few times you talked about him during one semester. he’s not sure which one it could be, but there’s a memory of a faint smile on your face while talking about him. it sets a weird feeling in jaehyun’s stomach, and he realizes you look a little too excited at the sight of jungwoo.

jaehyun’s arm is still looped around yours, a small frown on his face, “does everyone and their moms know jungwoo now?”

“he was funny in class and he bought me coffee once,” johnny hums.

you join in, “he is definitely funny and he did good when we worked on a project together.”

jaehyun pointedly glares at johnny when he speaks, but when you speak, he just holds you closer to him. he can see how johnny watches him, being reminded of how he looked like he was planning something earlier. jaehyun sees it now, johnny’s face darkening before he speaks, turning to speak to you, “i think you should go talk to him.”

jaehyun sends a pointed glare at him before looking at you, his eyes widening when he sees the shy smile on your face. you ask, “what if he doesn’t even recognize me?”

“why wouldn’t he? he always looked at you a certain way when you guys talked, he definitely remembers you.”

jaehyun wonders why no one told him more about this “jungwoo” and his apparent more-than-friendly feelings for you? if johnny knows, then does that mean the three of you hung out before without him? how much has jaehyun missed between you and jungwoo? jaehyun silently takes another sip of his drink, his eyes peering over his cup as he watches you get lost in your thoughts.

he thinks you might drop the conversation, but you breath out, “i’ll do it. i’ll go talk to him.”

jaehyun tries his best not to acknowledge the growing jealousy he can feel bubbling up in his throat. he has to bite back a remark that would probably make things worse for himself. he decides to let go of your arm, watching as you easily separate from him. johnny starts hyping you up, giving you encouraging words as jaehyun massages your shoulders.

although jaehyun wishes he could say don’t go over there or i’ll die, he decides to send you a thumbs up before you walk away. his throat burns, and as much as he wants to think it’s from the alcohol, it’s from seeing you walk away from him. you’re walking to someone that isn’t him, sharing your warmth that’s supposed to be jaehyun’s.

he realizes then and there that he shouldn’t be thinking that.

you’re pressed against jaehyun’s bed, his face burying into your neck as he leaves kisses across your skin. you had to tell him to not leave any marks when you feel his teeth nip at your skin, and you could’ve sworn you heard a huff come out of him when you did. he’s practically pinning you down, body barely hovering over yours.

there are days where he gets like this, too desperate to where he doesn’t realize he grips you a little tighter, his voice growing deeper, relieving all of his stress by making you both feel good. you can tell when he gets like this, a quick text of an you up? letting you know what he wants. you’ve grown to learn all his habits.

it does feel a little different today, though. he was quick to greet you, quick to bring you to bed to kiss you. there were no words of how work was hard for him or if he was stressed about something that happened. not that there’s anything wrong with him not saying, but there’s a certain desperation in his movements as his lips trail down your body.

you decide not to ask about it, not wanting to pressure him into talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about. you’re quick to forget about it when he presses a kiss onto your clothed clit. he calls your name, bringing your attention to the heavy gaze he gives you. he murmurs out, “gonna let me see this pretty pussy?”

you nod quickly, lifting your hips up so he can take off your panties. he moves to lay between your thighs, humming when he sees how you’re dripping for him. it’s embarrassing, trying to close your legs. you’re met with his hands keeping them apart, chuckling at the whine you let out.

“didn’t know you could be this wet for me. if i didn’t know any better, i’d think that you need me.”

you let out a small whimper when he traces a finger down your slit, “jaehyun, please, need you to- need you to do something!”

“tell me what you need, pretty. if you don’t tell me, how am i supposed to help?”

“need you, jaehyun! want your fingers, want you to touch me!”

“of course, that’s all i needed to hear.”

you can feel one of his fingers slide into you, your head falling back onto his pillow at the feeling. you clench around his digit, already begging for more, needing him to fill you up. he doesn’t tease you for being so desperate, quickly giving into your pleas as another finger slips inside you. you let out a cry when you feel his thumb circle around your clit.

“such a messy baby, dripping all over my fingers. needed me so bad, right?”

moans of his name tumble out of your lips when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that sends shocks down your spine. your hands are gripping onto the sheets, realizing just how fast you're about to cum. you’re sure he can feel you clench around his digits, especially when you manage to open your eyes and see him looking straight at you.

“gonna cum all over my fingers?”

“fuck, yes! please, wanna cum, need you to let me cum!”

his movements speed up at your words, “go ahead and show me how much you need it.”

you’re quick to fall apart, your orgasm crashing into you. your thighs shut around his hand that’s helping you ride out your orgasm. all you can hear are the sounds you make and the encouragement that jaehyun mumbles out to you. you’re too fucked out to realize that his clean hand intertwines with yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

before you can comment on it, he’s quick to pull away from you, hands moving to undo his pants. you move to try to do it for him, but he swats your hands away with a laugh. after letting you gawk at him for a bit, he takes his boxers off, a whine leaving you at the sight of his leaking cock. he tilts his head at you, “are you gonna let me fill your pretty pussy up?”

“please,” you moan. your legs move to wrap around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. his cock ruts against your cunt, still sensitive from your last orgasm. he shushes you when you let out a small gasp, one of his hands soothing the skin of your thigh. you let out a small cry when his tips rubs against your clit, the last of your patience running out.

you can tell it’s getting to him, too. his cheeks and ears are flushed, his eyebrows furrowed as he switches between watching your face and where he’s pressed against you. he bites back a groan when his tip catches at your entrance, trying hard not to push into you right then and there. he puts all his focus on you, “tell me that you want me to fill you up. tell me that you need me to fuck you.”

you whine, your head digging into the pillow. despite his flushed face, there’s a cocky look on his face as he stares down at you. you’re too desperate to try to fight back, losing the battle as you let out a whimper of his name. there’s almost a surprised look in his eyes as he sees you give up this easily, leaning down to give you a quick kiss to your collarbone.

“i know, baby, need you just as bad. gonna fuck you like you need it, okay?”

you whisper out a thank you as he moves to line himself up at your entrance. he slowly slides in, letting out a deep groan as he watches himself sink into you. he fights off his eyes from closing at the feeling of your tight cunt clenching around his length. you’re no better, writhing around in the sheets, whimpers of his name escaping you.

once he bottoms out, he lets out a grunt, “missed this pussy so much. so fucking warm, so tight, all for me.” you’re quick to agree, hands trying to reach at his shoulders to bring him closer to you. he gives in easily, huffing at how he can feel himself deeper inside you at the new position. he kisses the valley of your breasts, sucking lightly.

he starts off slow, teasing you as he thrusts into you, slow and deep. if you can listen past your own moans and whimpers, you can hear the quiet curses and sounds he lets out, trying to hide how much you’re affecting him. when your nails claw at his back, he breaks, “didn’t even mean to call you this late, i just needed you so bad.”

his words get to you, the fact that he wanted to call you because he was needy makes you clench around him. he can’t help but pick up the pace of his thrusts at the feeling, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. you don’t know what has him so worked up, but if he’s going to make you feel this good, you might have to figure it out.

you need just a little more, your hand trailing down your body to get to your clit. you moan in relief when your fingers circle your clit, clenching tightly around jaehyun’s length. it has his hips stuttering slightly, eyes making their way to your hand. he’s quick to push your hand away to replace it with his own, thumb making tight circles around the nub. 

he move up to whisper into your ear, “only i can make you feel this good, right? i know you better than anyone else, even yourself.”

you shake your head at his words, but your hips roll up into his, trying to fit more of him inside you. he chuckles lowly at the sight, a small smile on his face as he watches you. he’s slamming into you now, any patience he had now gone as he nears the edge. he starts, “no? trust me, pretty. i know just how you like to be touched, how you liked to be fucked. i know you so well that i just know that you’re close to cumming.”

tears prick your eyes, because yes, you are close to cumming. you can’t help it, not when he’s fucking you like this. he’s not usually this talkative, choosing rather to focus on getting away from any stresses. but now, he’s letting you in on his thoughts, letting you know what could possibly be nagging at him. you’ll save it for another time.

you’re surrounded by all of him, chest touching his as his warm breath hits your neck. you used to wish for him to kiss you during moments like these, moments where you’re both so close, adrenaline too high. now, all you can do is whine out his name, begging for him to let you cum.

it’s easy for you to let go of any past emotions you had for him, but for jaehyun, he wishes he could kiss you. he wishes that you could want him again, wishes that he didn’t have to fuck you like this. this is what he wanted, though. he just didn’t think it would be this hard. he tries to ignore it by groaning into your ear, “gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over my cock?”

“y-yes, please! you make me feel so good!”

“yeah? show me then, pretty girl. show me how i’m the only one who can make you feel this good.”

at the sound of his voice, you cum. your chest arches up into his, nails digging into his back as you let go. he’s moaning at the feeling, his hips stuttering as he tries to fuck into your tight pussy. he has to bite down onto your shoulder at the feeling, holding back just how bad he wants to cum inside you.

when you start whining, he’s quick to pull out of your heat, quickly jerking himself off to the sight of how fucked out you look. with a moan of your name, his cum shoots out over your stomach, his cheeks a pretty pink as he does. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the deep breaths you both let out. he’s just staring down at you, saving the image of you covered in his cum in his mind. you don’t mind, too tired to notice the slight adoration in his eyes as he stares. it is embarrassing though, covering your face with your arm as you tell him to move.

he blinks away his thoughts, chuckling at your embarrassment. he pats your thigh, moving away as he goes to get a towel to clean you up. he’s being careful with you, his movements slow as the towel moves around your body. there’s a soft look in his eyes, a lazy smile on his face as he indirectly touches you. he’s quick to throw the towel into his laundry basket, even quicker to join you in bed. 

in a motion that almost seems too soft for the fact that he just fucked you into his sheets, he pulls your back into his chest. one of his hands makes it to your side, letting it sit there. his breaths are evening out, fanning across your shoulder that he nuzzles into. his touches are hesitant against your skin, almost as if he was debating on whether or not he could touch you like this.

you almost want to push his hand away or try to make some space between the two of you. friends should not be holding each other like this, friends should not be letting each other bask in the warmth of their bodies. friends shouldn’t even be having sex, not like this.

but you figure just this once, you’ll let yourself have this moment. it’s a bit selfish, getting to have jaehyun like this. you wished he’d hold you like this every single time. you think if he did, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from falling back in love with him. there’s no way for you to win when it comes to jaehyun.

as he presses a kiss and murmurs a goodnight into your shoulder, you make a promise to yourself: you won’t ever lose yourself over jaehyun again.

jaehyun realizes how little time he’s been spending with you recently.

he’s been hearing more about this jungwoo guy. you’ve told him can’t hang out, i’m with jungwoo right now or i’ll be hanging out with jungwoo later. you’ve been so busy catching up with jungwoo that jaehyun hasn’t had the time to talk to you. no more eating or shopping together, not when jungwoo’s around.

jaehyun doesn’t want to say he’s necessarily jealous of the relationship you two share, but can’t say it doesn’t sit right with him. jaehyun is still your friend after all, and he doesn’t like hearing you talk so much about him. during the small chances jaehyun gets to talk to you, you always slip in one mention about jungwoo.

what about jaehyun? what does jungwoo have that he doesn’t? he could totally treat and touch you better than jungwoo ever could. he practically does already. he can’t help but let these little thoughts enter his mind. if jungwoo’s in the way, how is jaehyun supposed to show you how much he likes you?

it’s one day that you’re both splayed across his couch, your legs resting over his as his thumb smoothes across the skin of your thigh when jungwoo is brought up again. out of the corner of his eye, he can see you smile and lightly laugh at your phone. jaehyun, being the nosy person that he is, can’t help but try to reach over to see what you’re laughing at.

you’re quick to push him away, chuckling at the sight of the small pout on his face. he tries again, and you decide it’s probably better just to sit beside him instead. you begrudgingly show him your phone, and he squints his eyes so he can read your screen better.

it’s quiet for a few moments before he hums at the texts between you and jungwoo. it’s a conversation funny enough to make you laugh. he tries not to roll his eyes at the cutesy way jungwoo texts, him being clearly interested in you. he doesn’t want to say anything about it though, doesn’t want you to know that jungwoo bothers him for reasons that he shouldn’t be thinking. 

“he’s funny,” jaehyun muses, trying to stop the snarky remark he wants to say.

“way funnier than you,” you tease, watching him deflate back to his side of the couch. 

“there’s been times where you’ve laughed at my jokes though, like laughed laughed.”

“i was either super drunk or bored out of my mind, so those don’t count.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes at you, deciding to ignore your words, choosing to believe that you think he’s the funniest man ever. he’s been finding himself having little competitions with jungwoo that only he’s a part of. jungwoo is funny? jaehyun is funnier. jungwoo is cute? jaehyun is cute, too, just give him a minute.

jaehyun tries to boil it down to the fact he’s always been competitive, but he knows it’s more than that. in his head, it doesn’t matter what jungwoo does better than jaehyun because right now, you're in his apartment, on his couch, deciding to spend meaningless time with him. 

“what have you both been doing? i haven’t seen you at all this week.” he hates how his voice sounds, a little too clingy for his liking, but he hopes you don’t hear it.

“nothing, really. we’ve just been going out to eat or hanging out when we have the time.”

jaehyun figures you both somehow have all the time in the world in order to be hanging out this much. he makes his voice whiny before speaking, “i miss you, please don’t leave me forever.”

you laugh at the sound of his voice, pulling your legs away from him. “you’re acting like me spending time with jungwoo is gonna kill you.”

“what’s killing me is the fact i don’t get to see you that much anymore,” he grumbles. 

he notices that you don’t respond right away, and when he goes to look at you, your eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a certain look in your eyes. did he say too much? before he can start panicking, you turn towards him, “don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“pretend like you miss me when we already spend a lot of time together. you literally called me up the other night.”

jaehyun lets out a breath, “sorry, but you’re still my friend. i do miss you, i’m jealous that jungwoo gets to see you that much.” although he says it jokingly, there’s definitely truth behind his words. it might not mean much to you, but the fact that jungwoo gets to see you in a way that only jaehyun feels like he deserves, it hurts him.

“i’m gonna tell jungwoo you’re being mean to him,” you huff.

“tell him then,” jaehyun slings an arm around your waist, “let him know that he needs to learn how to share.”

“first of all,” you slide his arm off of you, “don’t say it like that because you make it sound like i’m an object. two, i think you might need to learn how to share.”

he hums, “you were mine first.”

“i was never yours,” you grouch, “you made that clear when you rejected me.”

he can tell you’re joking, but he can feel his blood run cold at your words. it’s a reminder to him that the rejection is still clear in your mind, reminding him just how much he hurt you. it will always be a reminder of how he messed up what could've been a good relationship with you if he just had more time.

he can’t blame you for his own mistake. he can’t.

in the best way he can, he puts his hands together and grovels, “please, can you find it in your kind soul to forgive me?”

you scoff, rightfully so, before grabbing your phone to take a picture of him. you’re quiet for a few moments more, jaehyun knowing that you’re about to post the picture on your instagram story for everyone to see, including jungwoo. he doesn’t want to stop you, equal parts of wanting to show off how you’re hanging out with him and a little bit of embarrassment. 

you set your phone down, placing your hands on top of his, “you can stop. now i kinda just feel bad for you. you do deserve it, though.”

jaehyun doesn’t move, staring at you with a certain look in his eyes. he can tell you right here, he thinks. he’s thought about what he’d say if he were to confess to you almost too much. he’s practiced his lines before, thinking up the perfect way he’d confess. it almost feels right to do it now, clearing his throat and-

your phone buzzes, pulling your attention away from him. he grimaces when you show him the notification. what seems to be jungwoo’s account liking your story, the story that has jaehyun begging for your apology posted on it. you sigh dreamily, “told you he’s funny.”

“not funny when it’s jungwoo.”

“jaehyun!”

you find yourself drinking at jaehyun’s place again.

it’s a slow night, both of you had stressful days. you choose to stay in jaehyun’s kitchen, laughing at unfunny words and pouring more wine for each other as the night rolls on. you didn’t mean to stay over so late, but jaehyun practically begged you to spend some time with him. you were quick to say yes under the guise that all he wanted to do was be with his friend.

before the night went too deep, you texted jungwoo saying that you probably won’t be able to call him tonight. he responds quick, a have fun! and i hope you sleep well :) flashing on your screen. you smile warmly at the messages, but quickly notice jaehyun also staring at them. you push at his shoulders, whining over how he’s invading your privacy.

his cheeks are rosy from the wine, a sly smile on his face as he asks, “how am i not supposed to look when i see you smiling like that.”

“you’re supposed to be a good friend and support me in my times of need!”

he puts his hands up in defense, that annoying smile still looking back at you, “thank you for being so vulnerable around me. and who’s to say i don’t support you in your times of need?”

you hear the double meaning in his words, swatting him away, “hey! you’re actually so gross.”

he just chuckles at your words, enjoying how easily you get embarrassed at his teasing. it’s been happening more often, and jaehyun can’t help but piece together that it might be because of jungwoo. jaehyun feels that you might be slipping away right in front of him, and he can’t really do anything to stop it.

you aren’t completely unaware of jaehyun trying to get you to hang out with him. he’s been sending more texts recently, nothing really important being said. you’re not sure how obvious you’re being with jungwoo, but you’re sure that jaehyun has at least an inkling on how you feel about him. which leads you to believe that jaehyun might be a little jealous.

it was never your intention to make him jealous. that night when you first saw jungwoo again was all unplanned. you never thought you would end up talking to him, never thought you’d like the way he treated you. he was so sweet to you, always trying to take care of your every need when prompted.

it’s bad to compare, but you realize that jaehyun’s only being so nice to you now is because jungwoo’s being nice to you. 

that’s not to say that jaehyun was never not nice to you, but you could tell that it’s a different kind of nice when it comes to him. the relationship you have with jaehyun now feels more like a bandaid to cover all of the bad things that have happened, no one bothering to address it. you don’t want to either way, no use in bringing up what shouldn’t be talked about.

even now, as you’re here with him in his kitchen, feeling the cold air from the open window drift in, there’s unspoken words between the two of you. you can hear the music playing from his speakers in the other room, the melody sticking in your head. it’s weird to think that you would’ve never gotten to see jaehyun like this if you didn’t stay with him.

it’s quiet for a few moments, apart from jaehyun humming along to the song that’s playing. it’s dark, his warm lights low as they cover the both of you. it’s nice like this, a little drunk and a little quiet; you don’t have to think about anything you don’t want to. you don’t think before you speak, “i do miss you, too, you know.” 

“yeah?”

“you’re still someone i appreciate, even after everything.”

he doesn’t respond, and you think he’s taking in your words. you’re not sure why you didn’t specify ‘friend’ but you know he knows better than to have his hopes up anymore. you see that the tips of his ears are pink, the lazy smile on his face showing that he’s a bit tipsy too. he’s not looking at you, you’re not really sure what he’s thinking-

“i think… i think i love you.”

“what?”

his eyes immediately snap to yours, widening as he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. slightly panicking, he stands up, trying to backtrack, “no, i- look-”

“what did you say?”

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it-”

“what does that even mean? you can’t just randomly say you love me and then take it back?”

he chooses not to answer right away, eyes darting all around as he tries to come up with an answer. he can fix this, he can help himself, it’s just… he doesn’t really want to. it’s almost selfish with how he feels a little relief with his confession. “since you’re asking,” he starts, “i… i like you. i’ve liked you for a while now.”

when he looks at you, the anger from before is still there. you’re biting down on your lip, hands balled at your sides as his words hit you. “jaehyun… do you know how wrong that is? since when? after you rejected me?”

“no, i- fine. yes, after i rejected you. i know it’s wrong and i know i shouldn’t but it clicked for me, even if it was a little late.”

“a little late? jaehyun, you’re telling me this after you know i’m talking to someone. you knew that there’d be a high chance that i wouldn’t feel the same. i know you’re not that dumb.”

“but that’s how you felt when you asked me out? even if there was a chance that i would say no to you, you still did it, right? that’s exactly how i feel, how bad would it be if i tried?”

a shocked laugh leaves you, “that isn’t fair! you’re not being fair! you’re not thinking about how i would feel knowing this!”

you think he knows that it’s not the same between you and him. you confessed because you genuinely thought you had a chance with him. jaehyun’s only confessing because you’re talking to jungwoo. 

“i should’ve never let this happen! fuck, i knew if i kept talking to you, something bad would happen.”

he scoffs, wanting to call out your bluff. “i never forced you to come over and talk. you weren’t forced to come over and have sex with me. you could’ve stopped this at any time, but you kept coming back to me.”

you let out an exasperated sound, “we were friends, jaehyun. friends hang out and talk, that’s literally all we were doing.”

he snaps, “friends don’t fuck. friends don’t hold each other after sex. you can’t say that you didn’t feel anything between us. that’s the whole reason i called you for sex the other day, i needed you."

you can hear how loud your heart is pounding in your chest. your head hurts already, the faint song playing in the other room only adding to the pain. there’s nothing more that you want to do than just go home. you wish you could’ve been more clear, you wished you would’ve drawn a clearer line between the two of you. now you’re stuck like this.

you sigh out, mumbling into the quiet air, “if i had known that you were gonna be like this, i would’ve made sure to end whatever we had as soon as possible.”

“if you never met jungwoo, then this probably never would’ve happened. i could’ve asked you out the normal way, but you kind of forced me into drunkenly confessing to you.”

you send a glare straight at him, “do not assume how i would feel in any situation. the fact that you didn’t even want to tell me that you liked me says everything i need to know.”

“how was i supposed to tell the girl i rejected that i like her now?”

“exactly! don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

he shrugs, closing himself off before you can start up again. you know how he gets, pretending that none of this really matters to him. it’s childish, and you know he knows it. you don’t know what else to do. if he can’t sort himself out, there’s no reason for you to be here anymore.

you’re quick to get up and out of the kitchen. he doesn’t look at you at first, but as soon as he hears you pack your stuff into your bag and your car keys in hands, he follows right after you. there’s a startled look on his face, you can tell that he didn’t think you would leave him. you watch as he raises a hand to stop you, but quickly puts it down after some thought.

you let out a breath, “i’m leaving. you can decide if you want to pull yourself together and grow up if you wanna talk. if not, don’t even bother texting me.”

he doesn’t try to argue, watching as you walk out his door. he can’t feel anything, doesn’t really want to do anything other than lay in bed. he walks over to his bedroom, the sound of a familiar slow song getting louder as he walks closer. he makes it inside, pausing the song before laying down onto his back. it’s quiet again.

he just ruined everything.

for the first time in a while, your life feels kinda normal.

there’s not a lot for you to worry about if you ignore a few things. work is fine, your friends are celebrating your freedom, and jungwoo comforts you in every way possible. you realize that jungwoo might’ve been everything you’ve been looking for in a person. he stays close when you need him and gives you space when you ask.

you tell jungwoo that you’re happy to have him right now. you tell him that you’re sorry for acting a little weird recently (he quickly denies your claim). you don’t tell him exactly what happened with jaehyun, but you can assume he at least knows a little. he doesn’t try to pry it out of you, choosing not to remind you of something you don’t want to think of.

and you’re not thinking about it. you haven’t gotten any texts from jaehyun, so why should you care?

as much as you don’t want to admit it, it does feel weird not having jaehyun in your life. you didn’t realize how much you thought about him or how much time was dedicated to being with him. it didn’t seem to matter at first because you thought it was because you both were friends, but you realize he was kind of stringing you along.

there’s a lot of time you have to yourself now. you don’t have to worry about jaehyun calling you randomly throughout the day or one of his spontaneous meetups. you don’t have to think about his you up? texts during the late hours of the night. you don’t have to think about any hurt he’s caused you in the past. none of it will mean anything anymore.

until you get a call from johnny.

“hey, johnny. what’s up?”

he skips right past your greeting, “why doesn’t jaehyun want to hang out with you?”

you’re shocked for multiple reasons. one, of course, johnny already knows your business. two, how dare jaehyun say he doesn’t want to hang out with you. you scoff, “what exactly did he say?”

“he said he was busy, but, like i know he’s not gonna be busy. and that obviously means that something is going on between you two.”

you want to scream into your phone’s microphone. jaehyun doesn’t deserve to set the boundary between you two. he was the one who messed it up in the first place, so why is he the one trying to put distance between you two? “johnny,” you start, “do you promise not to tell anyone about what i’m about to tell you? you can’t even tell jaehyun.”

he lets out a little shocked sound and you can imagine him sitting up straight. he whispers into the call, “what is it?”

“the other night, jaehyun told me he likes me. actually, in his own words, he said he thinks he loves me.”

he gasps loudly into the phone, “what? are you sure? like jaehyun said that? jaehyun?”

“exactly! it doesn’t even seem like something he’d do! he said it was because we were both drinking.”

“that doesn’t even matter,” johnny sighs, “you don’t go around saying that to your friend, especially not the friend you rejected before.”

“you get it! that’s literally what i told him! i need to sit down with you so we can discuss this.”

it’s quiet on the other side of the call, and by his silence, you can tell he’s planning something. it’s never good when he does, so you try to call out his name before he can think any more, but you’re too late.

“i think you should sit down with him to talk about what happened.”

you sarcastically laugh, “he hasn’t even texted me, there’s no way i’m talking to him first.”

“i didn’t say you should text him first, i’m just saying that you both should talk. you can’t just leave this off on bad terms.”

“and if i want to?”

“i know you don’t. plus, it feels like i’m a child whose parents are going through divorce, so you need to fix this.”

you whine into the phone, which causes johnny to laugh on the other end. he’s right, you don’t want this to end badly with jaehyun. even if you both decide to never talk again, you don’t want to have a strained relationship with him. after a few moments, you answer him, “fine, but don’t have your hopes up because even i don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“okay, perfect, because i already kinda convinced jaehyun to meet up with you.”

“johnny!”

he defends himself, “like i said, i’m basically seeing you guys go through a divorce. please bring my family back together.”

“whatever, do what you want to do.” johnny cheers from the other end of the call, quickly letting out an you won’t be disappointed! before he hangs up, not even letting you say goodbye. as much as you try to hide it, a part of you is happy at the thought of jaehyun wanting to work things out with you.

even if you don’t know what you want just yet, you’ll get yourself ready.

you realize you’re no longer happy when a few days later, jaehyun shows up to your front doorstep, a frown painted on his face.

you almost want to slam the door on him when he speaks. his voice is quiet, “why did you tell johnny you didn’t want to hang out with me?”

as soon as he stops talking, it all clicks in your head. johnny tricked you both. you’ll have to get mad at him later, but for right now, you have to deal with jaehyun who’s pretending he didn’t just ignore you for almost two weeks. you reluctantly let him in, watching as he walks in almost too normally.

no one bothers talking, no one trying to make the first move. you’re staring him down and he tries to ignore the hard stare you’re giving him. while you’re glaring at him, you can see how he looks more tired than usual. the faint lines under his eyes give it away, and when he does finally make eye contact with you, it’s soft, no anger behind his eyes.

you step back, breathing in before speaking, “let’s go talk in my room.”

he sends you a soft smile, not needing you to guide him to your room. he knows the whole layout by now, feeling more like he’s leading you to your own room. he opens the door for you, choosing to let you walk in first. it’s awkward when you have to motion for him to step in, watching him not really knowing what to do.

you move to sit on your bed, and he moves to sit at your desk. it’s not as awkward as it is tense. you don’t know what to say, you didn’t plan on him coming over. his eyes are darting across your room, his eyebrows furrowed as he presumably tries to start the conversation.

“how are you doing?”

you roll your eyes at the simple question, “i’ve been doing fine. i feel like my life’s been a lot calmer since that day.”

he leans forward in his seat, “really? i feel like i’ve lost ten years of my life.”

deserved, you think. you gather all your thoughts before speaking, “i think the days that i spent without thinking about you really changed how i feel. i realized just how much i was entangled in your life. it wasn’t good for me.”

he looks off to the side, taking in your words. you see the hurt that settles in his face, you see how it’s going to be burned into his memory. he smacks his lips, “i think for me it’s the opposite. i realized during this time without you really solidified my feelings. i can’t lie and say that my feelings have changed, because they haven’t.”

you feel anger bubbling up inside you, but you can’t do that today. you take a few breaths, calming yourself down as you focus on what you’re most curious about, “why did you start liking me?”

“i don’t even know. i know it’s shitty of me to realize how much you mean to me after i said no to your confession. i understand why you said no to me.”

“i’m sorry for getting mad so quickly. it was just so out of the blue, i never would’ve expected you to say that.”

you pat the spot on your bed next to you, calling his name softly. he slowly moves to your side, his eyes focused on his hands splayed across his knees. after all this time without you, he wishes he could hold your hand in his, even if he tried to play it off as a joke. it’s been too long without your touch. you took away the only thing that kept him close to you. 

“can i ask something?”

he nods, putting all of his focus on you. it feels intense when he does, you haven’t had him this close in a long time. you clear your throat, “this wasn’t all because of jungwoo, right?”

he sighs, his jaw clenching as he thinks of the right words to say. he’s deep in thought, and you almost want to tell him to drop it all together. he decides to speak up, “honestly? seeing you both together kind of made me realize my feelings. i was losing you to him, and i really couldn’t handle it. i’m not trying to ruin whatever you have going on with him, i promise.”

you don’t know what else to say. so much of this could've been prevented if you kept an eye out for yourself. you also wouldn’t want to go back and change what you’ve done. you don’t regret ever being jaehyun’s friend, you don’t regret all the memories you’ve made with him. 

“so, this… this is really over then?”

you shrug, “i would think so.”

it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of you letting the thought seep in. “this” has never been defined between the two of you, but you can assume it’s almost everything you do together. what you’re feeling now is close to how you felt when he first rejected you. what’s different now is that you can’t help but feel just a little relieved, ending something that probably should’ve never happened.

in another world, you think you would’ve reciprocated jaehyun’s feelings. it would’ve been easy, pieces easily falling into place as you both fall for each other. it’s almost as if it were supposed to be something that was natural. but jaehyun had given the time for you to move on, and you did. it was too late for him to realize his own feelings.

“we can still be friends if you can handle that.”

he laughs incredulously, “if i can handle that? i’m a grown man, thank you very much.”

“yeah? well i think if i were you, i wouldn’t be able to hold back my feelings,” you tease.

he grumbles, “too soon, you’re too mean.”

jaehyun watches a pretty smile adorn your face, and if it weren’t for the current circumstances, he would tell you how pretty you look. he keeps the thought to himself though, opting to ask, “how about one last drink together as friends who are a little more than friends?”

you hum, pretending to think about it. you watch worry wash over his face, and you do feel bad a little bit. “one more time, just for your sake. you look like you might start crying.”

he groans as you walk away to get some wine for the both of you. you’re by yourself for a few moments as you pour the drinks. you feel awkward in here by yourself, left with thoughts and memories of all the things you’ve done together. all the times you’ve had sex, all the times where he’s felt like your boyfriend, but none of it holds to him being your friend.

you don’t know if you can continue being friends with him. 

it would be unfair to jungwoo. you haven’t told him the exact dynamics of how your friendship with jaehyun worked, but you can assume he knows most of it. 

you return to the sight of jaehyun looking around your room. he’s been in here too many times to count, and yet seeing him here now, it’s weird. he feels out of place, he feels almost like a stranger in your own apartment. despite the history you have with him, it seemed to fall apart so easily as soon as conflict hit.

he thanks you quietly when you hand him the glass. you take a small sip of your drink, watching jaehyun do the same from the corner of your eye. after the drink, he chooses to speak, “so how are you and jungwoo?’

“that’s how you want to start our small talk?” you splutter out.

“i mean, can i not be interested in my friends' love life?”

well it’s hard when you were directly involved in it. you shrug, taking another small sip before speaking, “i’m… really happy that i’m talking to him. he takes care of me, he’s always asking how i’m doing. it’s nice being with him.”

you can tell jaehyun is trying not to let your words affect him, “are you both… officially dating yet?”

his words make you shy, your facing feeling hot at the idea of dating jungwoo. brushing off his words, you laugh, “no! not yet, at least. i think i’d say yes if he asked me out.”

he nods, his head hanging heavy, hand twirling the wine in his glass. you know what he’s thinking, you don’t need to ask him. you can’t be his, you won’t ever be his. you think that this was never supposed to work out, no matter how hard you tried or how much you think he could’ve loved you. he wasn’t meant for you.

“okay, one more thing.”

he nods, turning his attention back on you.

“did you really mean it back then, like, when you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship?”

“yes, i was scared. i think back then, even though i didn’t realize it, i also had feelings for you. but it was… it just wasn’t the right time for me. even though i liked spending so much time with you, there were things i wanted to figure out first.”

you cock your head to the side, “like?”

he hums in thought for a bit, trying to remember times from so long ago. thinking back, you remember how you felt old, you felt like you were already an adult. but he’s right, there were still things you didn’t know about yourself, and you wonder if dating jaehyun would’ve stopped you from figuring them out.

“i guess… mostly wanting to decide what i wanted to do with my life. now that i’ve somewhat settled, i feel more confident in what i want. even though it came at the worst time, i was so sure that i could see you in my future.”

the confession doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. you can relate to how he feels. for the longest time, you felt that you needed jaehyun in your life. it wasn’t until after he confessed to you that you saw that there’s more to your life than him. you’re thankful for all the time you’ve had with him, but there’s still so much more for you to do.

it’s like this for a few more hours, the sunset bleeding into the night time. you both have a few more drinks, jaehyun eventually turns on music playing on his phone. you feel a lot better now. you only want the best for jaehyun, and you think that this is the best for the both of you.

jaehyun has to leave at some point, one of the last buses back to his place coming soon. you don’t want him to go, you don’t want him to leave the comfort of your bedroom. there’s a small part of you that’s scared that you’ll never see him here again. you try to remind him that this is what you both need, clear, distinct boundaries.

you walk him to your door, “you’ll text me once you're at your apartment, right?”

he shuffles over, “yeah, i will. johnny will make sure i get there safe.”

you nod, opening the door for him. he walks out, watching you with an unsure look on his face. a part of you wants to let him in, wants to let him give you one last kiss. it’s wrong, your grip on your door getting tighter at the thought. he still has a strong pull on you, your hand wanting to reach for his.

it’s not meant to be.

“goodnight, jaehyun. i’ll see you soon, okay?”

“alright, goodnight. i… i’ll be here if you ever need me. i’ll wait.”

you smile, “i know. thank you, get back safe.”

he nods, waving you off before he walks away. you close the door, locking it behind you. it’s quiet now, no soft conversations, no laughing, just the sound of your feet pattering on the floor. 

you don’t really feel like crying. you don’t feel like there’s something missing inside you. jaehyun used to be a big part of you, but as time went on, he took up less and less space.

there’s more important things to worry about than someone who couldn’t make time for you. you have time to figure things out now, you have time to figure out what you really want, whether that’s jungwoo or someone else. 

you’ve never felt better. 

as jaehyun scrolls through instagram, he sees a post from you. it’s been a while since he’s seen you in person, so he’ll take anything he can get. the first few photos are of you, and the next few are pictures of things he assumes you found pretty. the last photo is what makes him pause, a photo of what he can only assume is jungwoo holding your hand.

he checks the comments, some of your friends replying with different emojis, all to tease you with. they all seem to know about your budding relationship with jungwoo. jaehyun’s glad that it’s going well for the both of you. it’s what you deserve after what he put you through.

he hung out with you and johnny the other day. as much as everyone tried to be normal, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he changed the dynamics of your friendship. you and johnny were the same, easily laughing and joking around with each other. it’s not exactly awkward when you and jaehyun talk, but the air around you is certainly different.

it’s what should’ve happened, at the start of it all you both should’ve set rules. jaehyun realizes that he would’ve never gotten to see you in the ways he did. warm lights from his kitchen painting over your skin, or when the light from the moon would shine over your body while he holds you close. he wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

you were all he had, and losing you is something he will always regret. he knows that you’re doing good now, not just with jungwoo. he doesn’t want to come in and ruin what you’ve built up. it doesn’t matter how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss you, you’re better off without him.

he just wishes he had more time.

a/n: hey people... what did we think of this ending... jaehyun is my friend i do not hate him i like him... anyways i hoped u like this... it took longer than i thought it would but im glad its out HOORAYYY

taglist: @froggyforyoongi @the-universe-in-you-jjh @ppeachyttae @omlhyck @hazyhae @haechology @jaehyunful @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @diorcities @hrts4doie @ohmytyong @ecvm5236 @faeryus @riri4andy @rjtulips @missesgirl @shiorebirth @sugaringgcaramel @camomillie @ninicornposts @il02isa @sincerelyneo @perfumejamal @justhgiwo @lovingyoulovinme2 @babyriannie @eunseoksimp @jeonreal @mawnehkah @shoetaroshoe (thank u all omg 🫂❤️)

#nct smut #nct fic #nct 127 smut #nct jaehyun smut #jaehyun fic #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun angst #jaehyun scenarios

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 1 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: After Bradley finally breaks things off with his girlfriend just days before the start of a deployment, he expects a few lonely months of nobody writing to him or waiting for his return. But the fateful arrival of a package from a class of fourth graders learning about aviation changes everything.

Warnings: Fluff, language, breakup angst

Length: 2200 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Bradley had his duffle bag open on his bed, tidy stacks of his uniform components, flight suits, and underwear lined up next to it. He had his checklist in front of him. He liked to be as organized as possible.

"Are you even listening to me? I thought we were going out to dinner."

He looked up from his partially packed toiletry bag into the annoyed eyes of Vanessa where she stood on the other side of the bed. He was seven months into this relationship, and sometimes he wondered why either of them still bothered. She knew his routine by now. She knew what his deployments were like, but she had absolutely no patience for any of it.

"Ness, I'm leaving in four days. I just need to focus on this for a few minutes so I know what I need to buy before Wednesday, and then we can go out and eat."

"It's already seven o'clock. I thought you'd have finished packing by now," she replied with a pout and a glare. "Every nice restaurant is going to have a long wait now, because I'm just going to go ahead and assume that you didn't make a reservation anywhere."

He took a deep breath and let it out before pressing his lips together. What he really wanted was to order something for delivery, cuddle on the couch, watch a movie and have the first round of hot, goodbye sex. But she'd never go for it now. Apparently he'd already fucked up for the night. 

"No, I didn't make a reservation," he said calmly, and she rolled her eyes and reached for her phone. "I really don't even feel like going out. I'll be gone for months, stuck in a tiny bunk or a loud mess hall. I'd like to stay in tonight where it's quiet. Just me and you."

But she wasn't listening at all. "Let me see if Woodmere has any tables left," she muttered. "If not there, then I can try The Landmark." She looked as beautiful as she always did, but he couldn't even stand the sight of her right now.

"Ness. I want to stay in."

She groaned and looked him in the eye. "Of course you do. You always want to stay in. You always want to decompress or read a book. That's not healthy, you know that, right? I shouldn't have to force you out of your comfort zone all the time."

"Fuck," he grunted, running his fingers through his hair. His job was demanding, both mentally and physically. He usually preferred quiet over loud, because his own thoughts started to buzz when she dragged him out all over the place. And now she was glaring at him again. "Are you even going to miss me?" he asked softly, afraid of the answer. "You haven't said so one time since I told you about this deployment."

She heaved a deep and annoyed sigh. "You're deployed so frequently, Bradley, it's like you're the government's bitch. And if the Navy is going to insist upon eating up taxpayer money, the least they could do is pay you more."

His skin started to crawl as she went off about his career like always, but he'd honestly had enough. He raised his voice louder and asked once again, "Are you even going to miss me?"

Vanessa scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course I'm going to miss you. What kind of question is that? I'll be bored every weekend, waiting for you to get back, like usual. I almost never go out when you're deployed."

Bradley's heart started to pound in a way that made his palms sweat and his stomach turn. "Jesus, Vanessa. I asked if you're going to miss me. Not miss going out every weekend."

When she hesitated for a beat, he reached out to brace his hand on his headboard. "Yes, Bradley. I am going to miss you. Okay? Happy?"

"Fuck, no. I'm not happy Vanessa." And that was the bottom line right there. The absolute truth. And it didn't hurt to say it, rather he immediately felt better. He knew he would miss the sporadic emails and the phone calls and the dirty pictures and the reunion sex. The upcoming weeks would be harder without those things to look forward to, but at least he'd come home to his own place where he could do what he wanted instead of what he was told. He wouldn't have to listen to her negativity. "I think we need to break up."

Her eyes went wide with shock. "Excuse me?"

Bradley let go of the bed and ran his hand over his face. "You heard me, Ness. This isn't working. For either of us."

"Don't call me Ness," she snapped, immediately turning toward his bedroom door. "You're not my boyfriend anymore." She paused briefly, just long enough to say, "Fuck you," and then she was gone. 

He sat on the edge of his bed for a couple minutes, but it didn't take long to sort through his feelings. The immediate sense of calm that he felt had him convinced he'd done the right thing. There was no shared living space. There was no ring. There was no real commitment. Maybe he'd always known why that was the case. 

So he packed up his bag and made a shopping list, and when his stomach started to growl, he ordered dinner for himself from his favorite restaurant. He didn't cry, and he didn't worry about having to do anything he didn't want to do.

------------------------

The first few weeks of his deployment were great. He spent a lot of time in the air, and he flirted a bit with some of the women who approached him in the gym on the aircraft carrier. He jerked off while he thought about whomever he fucking wanted to. He didn't spend very much time reflecting on his relationship with Vanessa other than to acknowledge that it wasn't much of a relationship at all. In the moments where he thought maybe he missed her, he realized he just missed the idea of having someone who cared about him.

He was about a month in when he realized the attractive woman who always touched his arm in the gym was actually married, and he was not all about that. He was also maybe kind of getting tired of masturbating which was a depressing thought. He was bored, and he was lonely, and other than randomly hooking up with someone, he figured his best bet was finding a book or something to read. 

When he made his way to dinner, he heard everyone talking about the helicopter that had landed on deck less than an hour ago stacked full of containers of mail. There was a line of officers trailing down the hallway adjacent to the mess hall, everyone waiting patiently to pick up parcels from their loved ones. Since Bradley had basically nobody who would think to write to him, he made his way toward the food instead. 

His tray was piled high with everything he could get his hands on, and when he looked for somewhere to sit, he had to deftly avoid that stacked lieutenant who had a husband at home. He found a table off in the corner and devoured his dinner alone. When he stood to drop off his empty dishes and tray, some petty officers entered the cavernous room to drop off unclaimed mail. 

"Harper, Jonathan! Pauley, Vincent! Dixon, Jennifer! Sutter, Wesley! Bradshaw, Bradley!"

He was more than a little intrigued as he made his way up along with a handful of others, and then a white envelope and a small cardboard box were thrust into his hands. The envelope was addressed to him by name in familiar chicken scratch that made him smile. He shouldn't have counted Natasha out, especially when his birthday was in a few days. 

He tore into the envelope as he made his way back to his bunk. It contained a very short letter along with a coupon for buy one get one free steak dinners at her favorite restaurant with a post-it stuck to the back. 

This is your birthday present. Now when you take me out for my birthday when you get home, you only have to pay half as much. You're welcome.

He snorted as he unlocked his bunk door and tossed everything from Nat onto the small nightstand. And then he examined the box. It wasn't addressed to him. Not really. It was addressed to 'A Deployed US Naval Aviator' in tidy handwriting. Then he noticed the return address was from an elementary school in Mira Mesa, and his curiosity got the best of him.

Bradley sat on the edge of his bed and tore gently into the packaging to find the box was jam packed with items and overflowing with envelopes. He tipped the box, and everything went cascading out onto his narrow bed. There were a lot of snacks, and a pack of trail mix caught his eye, making his stomach growl.

"I just fed you," he muttered but ripped into the snack anyway, dumping half of it into his mouth in one go. He was eyeing the envelopes carefully, each one distinctly unique. Some had names written on them, and some had little doodles or pictures, but they definitely seemed to be from a class of kids who went to the school. He sifted through them until he found a slightly larger, more official looking envelope which once again said To: A Deployed US Naval Aviator.

He finished his snack, silently thanking the class of kids and their teacher, and then he opened the big envelope. He pulled out a typed up letter which was folded around a few photos that slid onto his lap. Then he started to read.

Dear United States Naval Aviator,

First of all, thank you for your service. Second, let us introduce ourselves. We are one of the fourth grade classes from Mira Mesa Elementary School, and we have been learning all about aviation for the last month or so. We have combined our science, math and social studies classes into one unit all about flying, and we have learned so much. We really wanted to share some of what we learned with you in the hopes that you might be able to help us learn even more!

Each student in the class has included a letter filled with information and some questions. If you have some free time and are inclined to do so, we would love to hear back from you. (No pressure!) There are plenty of thoughtful questions that my students would appreciate more information about. (Once again, only if you want to!) And I for one would love to give them the chance to show off what they learned to a professional. (I'm just a proud teacher!)

Thank you very much for indulging our curiosity thus far, and we hope to hear back from you. I'll include my email address just in case you have any questions or would prefer to reply that way. Otherwise you can send mail directly to the address for the school along with my name, and it will get to us. We hope we are about to dazzle you with our letters, and we wish you well on your deployment.

Sincerely,

The best fourth graders you will ever meet along with their teacher

Bradley was chuckling as he finished reading. Of course he would take the time to look at all of the notes from the kids and send back a response. It wasn't like he'd be tied up talking to Vanessa. This little project would keep him busy when he had nothing else to do, and besides, this was the kind of shit he would have thought was outlandishly cool when he was a fourth grader himself. 

He read and reread the name and accompanying email address at the bottom of the page. This teacher sounded charming, and he'd only read three paragraphs from her. He flipped the page over to double check that she hadn't written anything more, already wishing she had. Then he picked up the photos that had landed on his thigh and started to flip through them.

First he saw a group of kids outside in the bright San Diego sunlight, lined up and throwing paper airplanes. Then he flipped to one where some of the kids were sitting at their desks building more elaborate planes out of pieces of foam. There was another photo of the class on some sort of field trip, but it was the last photo in the stack that had him sitting up a little taller and taking a closer look.

"Damn."

The kids were all lined up once again, wearing a rainbow of colors, some making silly faces. But his eyes caught on their teacher. On you. Smiling back at him from the photo like you had an amusing secret. Like you wanted to share it with him.

"Fucking gorgeous."

----------------------

And, we're off. Oh, he thinks we are cute. Oh, he is about to be charmed even more. Thanks for pushing me out of my comfort zone a little bit with this one, and thank you @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 2

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#bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #rooster x reader #rooster imagine #rooster fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic #top gun imagine #top gun maverick imagine #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfiction #roosterforme #yours truly bradley bradshaw

[emdeerm]

Past saves Present

Og fic ig

In some cultures, it is believed that children are able to remember bits of their past lives till the ages of 3-5.

For Danny, the opposite was true. He got his memories at exactly the second he turned 5.

And he had to promptly dodge the blade of the boy in front of him.

His brother, his mind supplied. His twin.

Danny stopped swinging his own sword, focusing on dodging and avoiding the fate of being a slashed pillow. His new/earned skills especially helped with that greatly as his head was seriously trying to re-kill him.

"I yield," he rasped as he jumped away from his brother and looked at their Mother. "My head hurts, Mother," he added pitifully.

His twin looked slightly concerned for a second, before schooling his face in a way Grandfather has been teaching them.

"Tch." But he did put away the blade before their Mother, said a word.

"Dynial, Damian, you are not to stop until you have received permission in the future."

The boys nodded. Mother took their hands and led them out of the private training ground back to their rooms.

Danny spent the rest of the day lying down, slightly feverish and miserable as his brain was processing and acclimating the new set of memories. Clockwork said it wouldn't be too bad. We'll, the clock bustard has been wrong. It fucking sucked.

His brother was hovering. Their Mother was always around, not letting anyone into their space. Ra's is being kept in the dark.

A peaceful rest was all he needed for his brain to finish sorting out new information. And Danny was stuck in a bit of a dilemma.

You see, Damian and Dynial love their Mother, strive to be the best Demon Twins, and see nothing wrong with their life so far.

Their hands are still clean.

Danny, on the other hand, has many MANY choice words for his current situation and one Clock Ghost.

You want to try reincarnation ONE time! No wonder others don't really do that.

-------

Their days continued like they did before he got his memory back. It wasn't hard to be Dynial when he actually was him.

The nights were filled with planning. And a personally assigned mission: get Damian to be interested in normal things.

Stars weren't much of a hit. Uncultured child.

Animals were a little intriguing.

Simple art and craft projects seemed to hit the spot.

Keeping their little meetings and activities hidden wasn't as hard as one would think. Mother still had her missions. The two of them were often left alone in their wing of the place, the supervisors being allowed only till the doors. Ra's was the Head. He didn't check in on them all the time. The two of them weren't slacking in their training either and were considered prodigies.

Danny wanted out of this Cult.

A many months after feeding different information, facts, crafts and so on to his brother, Damian was curious. He was suspicious about the sudden knowledge but he was also 5. He only had to reference the Lazarus Pit (unfiltered and dirty ectoplasm? Seriously? Clockwork, you can't expect him to work on his vocation) once to convince the child.

They snooped around and found out that they had a father out in the world.

Danny got a plan.

It was super stupid. And dangerous as hell. As well as literally (half)suicidal. But he felt it in his chest and knew he'd succeed.

His Core was here. But it was sleeping. And if he wanted to be safe and away from here, he needed to start it up again.

The big pool of Ecto would do just fine. His Core would filter out the impurities.

He didn't want to stay here until his hands no longer protected. He didn't want such life for his brother either.

---

Damian infiltrated the Lazarus Room just in time to see his brother jump into the Pit.

He ran to the edge.

He was sinking.

The green was too bright. The smell around them was too much. His ears rang.

He reached towards the water, eyes unseeing and hands numb. His heartbeat was too loud.

His brother's wasn't loud enough.

"Don't touch the puddles, Dami, you'll get sick," a gentle, cold hand stopped him from diving.

The child looked up. His brother was floating above the water. He looked all wrong. But he was there.

"I didn't want you to see this part..." his brother laughed awkwardly as he landed next to him. A bright ring of light blinded Damian for a second.

And his brother was back.

-----

Getting used to his powers again felt nice but tedious. Soothing his twin was heartbreaking. He didn't think this through hard enough.

Their Mother was none the wiser to the fact that one of her children died and came back. Nore was she privy to the escape being planned by both.

On one moonless night, when Mother wasn't there, the shift was changing and the world was asleep; two boys phased through the walls and flew. Small bags of stuff were strapped onto them as they traveled to their father.

Mother's notes called him Bruce Wayne, Batman, Beloved and Detective.

It wasn't hard to find him when they arrived.

Though, Danny didn't expect a furless furry and a pantless child to be their new family.

Can he ever get a normal Family???

#danny phantom #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #I did a thing #for the sake of this story #pretend that it is completely possible for Danny to fly that far in a few days while carrying another person #like #maybe it is? he did fly across the States in that Freakshow episode #so.... #idk #Bruce is shooketh #it's the batman who still has Jason. #Robin (according to my calculations) is around 13 or 14 rn #not dead yet #and won't be if Danny has any say in that #also #Danny will take no bullshit from this man #“I ran away from the Cult of stubby ninjas” #“I can aand will run from an emotionally stunted Fruitloop” #that was said during an argument between Dick and Bruce for which Jason was present and Danny found them

[faeflowerz]

Savanaclaw Imprinting on You

I have nothing cheeky to say. Let's do this.

Warnings: My gross misunderstanding of animals, Bullying Leona for being a big chonk

Characters: Ruggie, Jack, Leona

Ruggie imprinting on you is an "oh shit" moment for him. He lives his life so casually and when he sees you, like really sees you for the first time, he's acting unwise. Ruggie will do things for you that he wouldn't for anyone else. He doesn't ask for you to return the favor. He even shares his food.

Now this last one is particularly special for him given that he values food more than his peers. Food is how he communicates and finds pleasure. I won't get too far into the feederism side, but I think there'd be a lot of "You should eat. Have you had breakfast?"

But it's not all picnics and dandelions. Hyenas are pretty scary if you piss em off. So if one of your guy friends touches you the wrong way or tries to tease him about his sudden obsession with you, he will go on the offense. Lots of growling and hes ready to turn them into a hashtag. You gotta drag him away every single time.

"Dude, you can't just go around picking fights with everyone! What's your damage, Ruggie?"

"I wouldn’t be so mad if those assholes kept their hands off of you!"

"That's what this is about? They mess around all the time, it's not a big deal."

"It is to me! I don't like it!"

"Okay, but why though? Why would you give a fuck?" You shake your head, frustrated by the look he was giving you.

"Because I'm jealous!" He barks. "I don't want anyone else touching you but me!" Everything is quiet as you try to process what he just said.

"Ruggie...what-"

"I like...being around you all the time. And all I can think about is you. And...ugh...this is so stupid." His cheeks are cute and pink as he mumbles his way though his confession. And you, you're smiling. Seeing him get so real with you is so sweet and touching. As he's trying to justify his behavior, you place a sweet kiss on his nose. Then he's all shishishi cause he got kissed.

When Jack imprints on you, he's pretty tsundere about it. Suddenly he's hanging around you and by extension the other first years. Its not like he loves you and how you smell and the way you laugh at your dumbass friends. He just...needs to be within five feet of you at all times. Oh, and that tail? It's wagging every single time you acknowledge him or give him attention. The most antisocial boy is suddenly craving your affection.

And of course Ace is gonna clown him for it. Though it feels a little bit different. "Is there somethin you're not telling us? No fair that you two have A Thing going on the down low."

"What are you even talking about?" Jack crosses his arms, clearly trying to keep cool.

"Come on, dude. You lit up when Prefect sat next to you," Ace pouts at the both of you before calling you out too. "Are you together?!"

"Wh-what?! What would make you think that?!"

And all of your friends have examples. Waay too many. And then, Ortho says, "You know, imprinting can happen to beast men too. There's a chance that-"

"What happens between me and Prefect is our business. I didn’t ask any of you to help me confess either."

Major self report. His tail is going a trillion per hour and he realizes what he just said. "Damn it."

"Ha! I knew it!" Ace chortles.

"Wow...that was pretty bold, Jack," Epel hides his grin behind his hand. As for you...

Well, you're smiling like an idiot. It's not like you haven't been purposefully saying and doing things to see his tail wag, make his ears flicker and see him smile a little. You can't pretend to be shocked as you look at Jack for a response. "Well, I guess I should have been honest from the start..."

So there you are, resigned to be a pillow for the biggest cat you've had the misfortune of knowing. Leona loves your thighs and like hell he's going to pass up on your free period to get some sleep. You've accepted your fate, but your legs are just as comatose as he is. As you try to shift around, this catman actually whines in protest. Inside, he's praying you didn't hear it. "Stop moving," he manages to say.

So, Leona's imprinted on you. Now what? Well, you're gonna know quite quickly. Like, it's kind of not a secret since Leona is so shameless with everything he does. Though, he won't actually say "I've imprinted on you." His actions are all the confirmation you need. Actually, he's the most overbearing because he will just drag you away from whatever you're doing just to take a nap with him. Are you in the greenhouse for a class? Well, too fucking bad. Leona wants you to give him attention. You know. Like a cat.

"M'leg's asleep," you complain. "Plus you're heavy."

"Neither of these are my problem."

"You're literally responsible for both."

"You callin me fat?"

"...maybe I am," Leona opens one eye to glare up at you. He wants to be mad. But seeing you so pleased by his reaction makes him melt a little. "What? All you do is eat and sleep what else am I supposed to think?" To your surprise, he sits up. You're about to ask but he flops on top of you, sending you both into the soft patch of grass. Leona's spooning you and your face is buried in his fat (and kind of fuzzy) tits. "Seriously?!"

"Look, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that you're one of the few people I can tolerate."

He's a real piece of work, isn't he? Still, his body is kind of warm and cuddly, huh? He would probably get mad if you said that out loud though.

#twisted wonderland #writing #faes drabbles #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #twst x reader #jack howl #jack howl x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #yumejoshi

[quinzzelx]

Eros

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Well....How do I put this. This is Porn with Plot. Filth, with a bit of an unhinged story. You're on a mission with Azriel. After an ambush, you get into a fight and find yourselves to be captured by some sick people. Word Count: 11K

Warnings: Smut, pure FILTH, a bit Angsty, Slight Dub!Con, Voyeurism, Canon typical Violence, blood, Mentions of Sex-trafficking, some type of sex pollen/potion, forced intimacy, porn with plot, 18+

A/N: Guys, I swear that I DID SEE the voting turned out to be Fluff, and I will be posting that one soon. BUT- please only read this if you feel comfortable with darker tones. I had to get this out here. Jeez, enjoy. ☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆~●~☆

Sometimes, bad things happen. In fact, they occur all too frequently, by all the gods' reckoning. Azriel could swear he attracted bad luck like a magnet. But this? He cursed under his breath, feeling as if fate were playing a cruel joke on him.

He groaned, frustration evident as his hand ran down his face. Of all times for misfortune to strike, it had to be while he was on a mission with you. "What?" You snapped at him, your eyes squinted in concentration as you struggled to fix the sheath of your dagger. With a huff of frustration, the dagger and its sheath fell to the ground, clinking and scattering. You muttered something under your breath, wincing as you shifted on the log you were perched upon.

Azriel paced in the small forest clearing, muttering to himself. "For fuck's sake, Rhys!" he shouted inwardly, though it proved futile. Hours had passed since he first attempted to reach Rhys, to no avail. Either they were too far away or something was interfering with the connection. "I can't reach Rhys."

You snorted at his statement, rolling your eyes. "No shit, Azriel. If you could, he'd be here by now." His jaw clenched, his narrowed eyes landing on your hunched form still seated on the log in the center of the clearing. They trailed over your injured left wing, twisted at an unnatural angle. With an irritated twitch of his upper lip, his scowl deepened.

"If you had paid attention while flying, we wouldn't be in this mess," he said, his tone harsher than intended.

"Excuse me?" Enraged, you stood up and marched toward him, your face contorted in anger, a slight limp accompanying each step. "I got shot by a damn Asharrow coated in Faebane!"

"Exactly!" He snarled, taking another step to close the distance between you. "How did that even happen?" A humorless laugh escaped you as you met his gaze. "Are you serious?"

When his expression only hardened, your anger resurfaced. "Oh, you really are serious!" You swallowed the lump in your throat, closing the distance between you and jabbing a pointed finger at his chest angrily. "You!" you hissed between gritted teeth. "If you had actually listened when I said I needed a break, I might have been able to pay more attention!"

In fact, you had asked for a break numerous times. However, the group you were tracking didn't seem to consider breaks necessary. They had been abducting young females and males all over Prythian for months. When they crossed into the borders of the Night Court and ambushed a small village, Rhysand had dispatched you two immediately. Several days had already passed since you crossed into Winter, and now you were venturing into Autumn territory.

Azriel growled lowly, catching your wrist with his hand to prevent you from stabbing at his chest again. "You obviously shouldn't have come on this mission then," he said, his voice as cold as ice. For some reason, Azriel was always harsher with you. You had tried, really tried to make him warm up to you, but this thick-headed male infuriated you like no one else. There had been a time when you would have called him a close friend, someone you could confide in.

You had met Cassian and Rhys in Windhaven on the day they first established that Wingclipping was forbidden and never to be done again. You had always found ways to avoid it, making yourself sick with different herbs and mushrooms, because for whatever reason and little morals the Illyrians held, they didn't want to clip a sick female's wings. The irony was beyond you, but it worked for some decades. That day, your uncle had found you preparing the mixture that made you sick and unleashed his wrath upon you. He had dragged you outside by your hair while you thrashed and clawed at him, begging him to let you keep your wings, pleading for mercy.

As if the Mother had heard your pleas, Rhys and Cassian arrived just as a group of men were holding you down to make an example out of you. Taking advantage of their temporary distraction, you kicked up at the jaw of your uncle holding you down, breaking it. He howled in agony, clutching at the broken bone. One of his friends tried to punch you then, but you dodged him, elbowing him in the gut and headbutting him when he fell to his knees.

In that moment, you probably looked like the personification of pure fury, blood dripping from your split lip, broken nose, and dislocated shoulder. Still, you fought, not only breaking these men's frail egos but also their weak bones. Rhysand was angry, standing tall and making a strong example out of their behavior, executing them for their act of treason and hurling insults at him. He was the High Lord, and no one was to disobey his orders. Cassian tended to you, helping with your shoulder and beaming proudly at you. He started training you from that day on. They had seen your sheer willpower, strength, and potential. And potential indeed. These days, you wore not one, but three siphons. Yes, you still weren't as powerful as Cassian or Azriel, but you weren't weak either. The average Illyrian had nothing on you.

They soon took you to Velaris with them, where you quickly found yourself becoming one of Mor's best friends. Azriel was always wary around you, distant at first. But for years, you had enjoyed talking to each other. Only in the past four had he become distant again, seemingly even disliking you and your company. And you found yourself becoming resentful too. You could have lived with it if you never got along in the first place, but this sudden change made you angry at yourself for ever having a crush on this stupid male in the first place!

"Fuck you, Azriel!" you spat at him, your head red with anger. Both of you had been flying for three days straight, resting only twice. You had only spotted the arrow at the last moment, dodging it just as it was about to strike your head. But despite your efforts, it found its mark, lodging right into your shoulder. A second arrow followed swiftly, tearing through one of your wings. The pain was excruciating, and a strong gust of wind threw you off balance, causing you to crash into Azriel with full force, sending both of you plummeting towards the ground. Azriel momentarily lost his bearings, only regaining focus when you hurtled past him. With powerful beats of his wings, he caught up to you and wrapped you in his arms, but it was too late to slow the momentum. Together, you crashed through the trees, branches tearing at your skin before slamming into the unforgiving ground.

"I'm just saying that maybe Rhys has overestimated your capability," he stated nonchalantly, lowering his gaze to meet yours. Ripping your hand away from his grasp, you shoved at his chest, your voice snarling with rising anger. "Yes, I'm sorry to burden you. Maybe next time I'll just free-fall and accept death with open arms."

Without thinking, anger consuming him, Azriel growled, "Maybe you should." Any retort you had died in your throat. Wide-eyed and shocked, you took a step back, and only then did he realize the gravity of his words. His own eyes widened, filled with regret as he reached out to you, flinching when you dodged him and hurried to retrieve your dropped dagger. "Wait—I—" he called out, stepping toward you, desperate to take back his words. He cursed himself as tears pricked at your eyes. "No, I understood perfectly," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. With one swift motion, you shouldered your bag and walked toward the opposite treeline.

Azriel's heart clenched as he called your name again, pleading for you to wait, to let him apologize and take back his words. But you cut him off, saying, "I'll scout the surroundings, see if I can find anything useful," before disappearing into the woods. He cursed himself once more, sending some of his shadows after you. Splitting up was dangerous, especially when enemies were nearby. Defeated, Azriel sank onto the log you had occupied earlier, sighing heavily as he buried his head in his hands. "Rhys," he spoke again, reaching out to his brother, "We were ambushed, and I messed up." As he sat there, waiting, his hazel eyes scanning the darkening sky, he cursed himself again.

A while later, a twig snapped to his right, and his head whipped around. Had you finally returned? His shadows frantically warned of danger. Standing up, he gripped Truthteller tightly, ready to face whatever came his way.

"Behind you!" his shadows screamed, but before he could react, a blunt object struck his head, and a syringe found its way into his neck. With a grunt, he collapsed to the ground.

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Something was definitely amiss. Azriel's senses felt muddled, his consciousness drifting in and out like waves against a shore. Hadn't he just been... flying? No, he was on a mission. Flying, no, falling. A groan escaped his lips as dizziness overwhelmed him. He attempted to rub a hand over his face to clear his thoughts, but something restrained his wrists, pulling against his movements with a metallic clink. Groggily, he tried to pry his eyes open, but they felt heavy, weighted down by an impenetrable darkness. Panic stirred within him as he struggled against his bindings, the realization sinking in that he was not where he should be. Where was he? And more importantly, where were you? His brows furrowed in frustration as he tugged on his other arm, only to find it chained as well.

"Fuck!." Whipping his head around, an alarming feeling of unease settled in the pit of his stomach. Surveying his surroundings, he noted the darkness but discerned the wooden floor. Good, this meant he was either in a village or some kind of building. His arms were chained to the ground next to his body, where he sat leaning against the wall. Confusion swept over him when he realized his legs were relatively free to move. Chains wrapped around his ankles, but the chain was longer. He surmised he could walk around the whole room if he wasn't anchored to the ground by his arms.

His eyes continued to sweep through the dark room, gradually adjusting to the dimness as he squinted, attempting to focus on what lay on the other side of the room. At the other side of the room, a table gradually emerged from the darkness, its silhouette becoming clearer to Azriel's eyes. As he discerned more barely-there furniture, a sense of dread washed over him. This was no ordinary room. It was a torture chamber, though unlike any he was familiar with from Hewn City. Whips, clamps, syringes, and various other implements of torture adorned the space, along with devices he couldn't even identify. His gaze lingered on a table adorned with chain locks, clearly intended to restrain victims.

Chains were strewn everywhere, giving the room an ominous and foreboding atmosphere. What kind of place was this? The smell assaulted his senses—blood, urine, and something else, something sickeningly familiar yet repulsive: arousal. His stomach churned in disgust at the realization of the horrors that had taken place within these walls. He attempted to summon his shadows, hoping for their familiar comfort and assistance, but nothing responded. Faebane. His heart sank at the realization of the poison's presence. Determination fueled his actions as he tried once more to pull on his restraints, but a piercing scream from outside the room froze him in place.

"Don't touch me!" Your voice, muffled yet unmistakable, sent panic coursing through him. Gritting his teeth, he ripped and tugged at his chains with renewed force. Outside, commotion ensued, accompanied by the creaking of a door. The sounds of struggle intensified, punctuated by a sharp slap that echoed through the room, causing Azriel's eyes to narrow in anger. "She damn well bit me," someone exclaimed amid the chaos. More noise followed, and then the door swung open fully, allowing light to seep into the room as several figures stumbled in, three of them carrying your thrashing form. A cold shiver ran down his spine as he took in your distressed state. You were cursing at them, fighting back with every bit of strength you could still muster. His eyes quickly swept over you from across the room as they threw you onto the table with a force that elicited a loud crack.

His heart stopped then. Where were your fighting leathers? What sick place was this? You were dressed in a white, very sheer and drenched dress that ended just above your knees. One of them grabbed your thigh forcefully, and he saw red. Screaming at them with a hoarse voice, Azriel struggled against his restraints, his muscles straining against the chains binding him to the ground. "Leave her alone, you bastards!" he roared, his voice echoing in the chamber. But his cries fell on deaf ears as they continued their assault on you, their intentions horrifyingly clear. One of the many males in the room laughed at Azriel's futile threats.

"Don't worry, Shadowsinger, your time will come," he taunted, his voice dripping with malice. Azriel clenched his jaw, his frustration mounting at his inability to protect you. As they chained you to the table, Azriel's panic surged. Your hands were bound together above your head, your legs hanging over the edge of the table and spread, tied to each leg. The sight sent a surge of fury coursing through him. "What is this? What are you doing?" he demanded, his voice thick with rage and desperation. But his questions were met with only sinister chuckles from the assailants.

Your eyes met Azriel's, and something washed over your features—a mixture of desperation and fear. "Please," you choked out, your voice trembling with emotion, "I beg you, not in front of him." Azriel's heart clenched at your plea, his gaze filled with anguish and determination. Despite his restraints, he struggled against the chains binding him, his muscles straining with the effort. "I won't let them touch you," he vowed, his voice laced with fierce resolve. Though powerless to act, his eyes conveyed a silent promise. The one who had spoken earlier chuckled darkly as the others moved to silence you, advancing with a gag. Your head thrashed around in a desperate attempt to fend them off.

Your body trembled, chest heaving, the wet white dress clinging to your form like a second skin, barely concealing anything. It left little to the imagination, the cold causing your nipples to harden as you fought against them, your breaths coming in ragged gasps. Your black wings, a stark contrast against the white fabric, remained spread out behind you, a symbol of your strength and defiance even in this vulnerable state.

Azriel's heart twisted with anguish as he watched their hands on your wings, holding you down, causing you to shiver and writhe even more. A soft whine and gasp escaped you involuntarily, the sound tearing at his soul. Fury contorted Azriel's face as he snarled at them, his anger palpable. "Dare to touch her again, and I will cut your hands off," he growled, his voice dripping with venom. But his threats were met with mocking laughter from the group, their disdain evident in their sneers.

"How would you manage that chained to the ground?" one of them taunted, their words dripping with cruelty. The group, consisting of about ten males and some females, settled a little farther away, some taking seats while others remained standing beside you. Azriel's rage burned hotter at their mockery, his muscles tensing with the urge to break free and unleash his wrath upon them. Your chest heaved, teeth sinking into the cloth they had used to gag you as you struggled against their restraint. Seeking solace in Azriel's unwavering gaze amidst the chaos surrounding you, your eyes locked onto his. "You see, we were kind of growing bored of watching High Fae," the male spoke again, his tone laced with malice. He was tall, fatter than the others, with grey hair and a posture exuding arrogance. Confusion flickered between you and Azriel as you listened. "You still haven't figured out what we do?"

Azriel's anger burned fiercely as he glared at them, his fists clenched in impotent rage. The male continued, revealing their twisted motives. They watched prisoners engage in sexual acts or forced themselves upon them, all while testing out new weapons, torture devices, and potions. They reveled in the power they wielded over their captives. "And when we found out the High Lord of the Night Court sent two Illyrians after us?" The fat, grey-haired man sneered, his voice filled with twisted excitement. "Well, well, it seemed like we're in for quite the treat. Illyrians are known for their stamina and prowess after all."

"You two especially are a treat to look at," the male leered, his gaze lingering on your exposed form with undisguised lust. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but anger burned brighter in your eyes as you glared at him. "Rumor has it," he began, circling around the table you were strapped onto, his voice dripping with malicious intent, "that Illyrian wings are very sensitive." He punctuated his words with a sinister smile, sending a chill down your spine. Azriel's eyes widened with horror as he watched the man's dirty hands trail over the delicate membrane of your wings.

A growl rumbled deep in his throat, but he remained trapped, his muscles tensed with the urge to break free and tear the man limb from limb. You couldn't suppress an embarrassed moan as the man's fingers grazed over a particularly sensitive spot on your wing, the sensation sending shivers down your spine and igniting a blush on your cheeks. Illyrians were notoriously protective of their wings; allowing someone else to touch them was considered a significant display of trust. The violation of this boundary filled you with a sense of vulnerability and violation, intensifying your anger and humiliation in the face of such blatant disrespect. The dirty male's gaze shifted back to Azriel, lifting Truthteller in his hand, a cruel smirk playing on his lips as he brandished Azriel's own dagger.

"You see, Shadowsinger, we've got ourselves a little experiment planned," he said, his voice oozing with malice. Azriel's eyes narrowed, a cold fury simmering beneath the surface as he listened intently. "We've got this new love potion we've been itching to try out," the man continued, his tone sickeningly cheerful. "And we thought, what better way to test it than on our favorite pair of Illyrians? "Azriel's shock was evident, his voice laced with disbelief. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, but we are," the man chuckled darkly. "You and the lady here," he gestured toward you with a lewd grin, "will be our little test-subjects. One of you will get the pleasure of enjoying its effects firsthand." Azriel's heart sank at the realization of what they were proposing. He couldn't bring himself to do something so violating to you, not like this. Though he had harbored certain thoughts about you, this was beyond anything he had ever imagined. "I will not do that to her," he declared through gritted teeth, his voice laced with defiance and disgust. The look on your face was difficult to decipher, a mixture of fear, anger, and betrayal evident in your tear-filled eyes.

As someone approached with a syringe filled with a blue liquid, your breath caught in your throat. The cold sting of the needle piercing your skin sent shivers down your spine, your body trembling with a sense of dread. The male's smirk widened as he used Truthteller to cut the dress from your body, exposing your breasts and leaving you vulnerable and exposed before their leering eyes. The effects of the potion began to take hold, distorting your senses and leaving you in a state of heightened arousal. Your pupils dilated, your chest heaving with each ragged breath, and your legs trembling beneath you as the drug coursed through your veins.

"Lorsh," the man called for another male, summoning him to join their twisted game. As Lorsh stepped forward, rising from his chair with predatory intent, a sense of dread washed over you. "If our Shadowsinger won't do the honor, you can have her," the man declared, his words sending a chill down your spine. No, this couldn't be happening. You shook your head slightly, trying to fight against the effects of the potion as your gaze turned to Azriel once more, silently pleading for him to intervene.

Azriel's heart clenched with desperation as he watched the scene unfolding before him. He couldn't bear to see you subjected to such degradation, such violation. With a ferocity that echoed off the walls, Azriel's voice cut through the tense atmosphere. "Don't you dare touch her! I swear, I'll break your hands before I let you lay another finger on her!" His words dripped with a protective fury, his eyes ablaze with a primal instinct to shield you from any harm.

"I'll do it," he declared, his voice trembling with a mixture of rage and resolve, "but not at the expense of her dignity. I'll be the one." A sickening delight spread across the male's face as he licked his lips, relishing in the twisted power play unfolding before him. With a gesture, he commanded another to throw the key for the arm chains to Azriel, a malicious grin playing on his lips as he watched the exchange.

As Azriel caught the key, the man retreated, his voice dripping with a sickening satisfaction. "You see, these chains on your legs will keep you tethered to this table," he clarified, his tone filled with sadistic amusement. "But don't get any ideas about getting close enough to kill us. You won't succeed." Azriel's jaw clenched with frustration at the limitations of his movements, but his resolve remained unbroken. As Azriel hurried towards you, relief flickered in your eyes as you locked gazes once more. Stopping in front of you, Azriel's heart hammered in his chest as he faced the daunting task ahead. His mind raced with possibilities, seeking a way to ensure your safety amidst the chaos surrounding you. "You may do as you please with her," the male declared, his voice dripping with malicious intent.

Azriel's heart sank at the man's words, grappling with the limitations imposed upon him. "Can I untie her?" he asked, his voice tinged with desperation. If he could free you from the table, maybe you could fight your way out of this nightmare. If unchained, you could reach a weapon and turn the tide.

But his hopes were dashed as the man's cruel decree fell upon his ears. "No, you can free her from the table if you must, but you cannot completely unbind her hands," the man stated, his words a death sentence to Azriel's hopes. "They will stay tied together." The look on Azriel's face was one of pure sorrow.

Determination surged through him as Azriel clenched his jaw, bracing himself to make this ordeal as bearable as possible for you. With steady hands, he reached for the gag, untying it and freeing your mouth from its suffocating restraint. Next, he carefully loosened the straps that held your arms and legs in place, his movements deliberate and gentle.

As he brushed against your skin, a jolt of electricity coursed through him at the sinful sound of your moan. His heart clenched with both guilt and longing as the realization of the drug's effects washed over him. “I’m sorry.” Your apology only added to the turmoil raging within him, a bleak reminder of the violation of your consent. His voice trembled with uncertainty as Azriel locked eyes with you, his own turmoil mirrored in your gaze. "Is this okay?" he asked, his words barely more than a whisper, filled with a desperate plea for reassurance amidst the chaos. Your nod was barely perceptible, accompanied by a whimper that tugged at Azriel's heartstrings. "I don't mind if it's you," you whispered, your voice trembling with vulnerability and trust.

Azriel's breath caught in his throat at your words, relief and distress flooding through him. His gaze lingered over your exposed form, desire and guilt warring within him. Despite the circumstances, he couldn't deny the allure of your beauty, the vulnerability you displayed beneath him. Guilt washed over him as arousal stirred, his body responding to the primal urge.

Swallowing hard, he fought to rein in his need, guiding your hands from above your head to rest on your stomach. As he intertwined his fingers with yours, he felt your whine of anticipation reverberate through him, igniting a heat between your spread legs. "Look at me," he murmured softly, seeking to soothe you. "I'm here," he whispered, filled with reassurance. "I'll keep you safe."

But beneath the reassurances lay desire. "I'll make you forget they're watching," he promised, leaning closer, his breath hot against your skin. "In this moment, it's just you and me," he continued, a promise of intimacy amidst the chaos. "I'll show you pleasure beyond anything you've known." Each word dripped with longing. "I want to make it better for you," he murmured, his voice husky with desire as he leaned closer, his lips grazing your earlobe. "Tell me what you need."

As your body trembled beneath him, a surge of arousal coursed through Azriel at your vulnerability. "Touch me, please," you pleaded, your voice shaky with need. His heart clenched with longing as he resisted his own desires, focusing instead on easing your discomfort.

"It hurts, Azriel," you whispered, anguish and need evident in your voice. His own arousal forgotten, he concentrated solely on comforting you. "I'll make it better," he vowed, determination lacing his voice as he sought to ease your suffering and fulfill your desperate longing for pleasure.

Tears streamed down your flushed cheeks as you squeezed his hand, seeking comfort. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault," you whimpered, self-blame and anguish evident in your trembling voice and quivering lip. Azriel's heart ached at your words, the weight of your guilt heavy upon him. "No, it's not your fault," he murmured softly, his voice tender as he wiped away your tears. "None of this is your fault."

Ignoring the sickening gaze of the others, Azriel clenched his jaw with fury. With a deep breath, he leaned forward to whisper in your ear, his voice low and intense. "I will end them," he growled softly, promising to protect you at any cost. "Every last one of them." As he felt his powers surging back, an ancient energy thrumming beneath his skin, he knew he had to bide his time, to wait for the perfect moment to strike.

Leaning back slightly, his gaze locked with yours, a smoldering heat burning in his eyes. "How do you want me?" he murmured, his voice husky with desire as he sought to give you control in a situation where you had none. "Az..Need you" Face constricted in pure longing you sucked in your bottom lip. With a thoughtful expression, he trailed his finger down your trembling form, his touch igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume you both. Lower and lower he traced, until he reached the boundary where the drenched fabric of your dress began again.

"Here?" he murmured, his voice husky as he gazed over your pubic bone, his eyes smoldering with heat. Your mewl of pleasure echoed in the air, the sensation of his touch sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. With a whimper of agreement, you nodded eagerly, your face contorted in pure longing as you looked up at him through thick lashes. "Yes," you whispered, your voice barely more than a breathy whimper, your body writhing under his touch as you surrendered yourself to him.

"Fine," he muttered, lust thick in his voice as he gave in to fervent longing. With a swift, almost savage motion, he ripped the last bit of the dress open, a low rumble escaping his throat. Your yelp mingled with a gasp of pleasure as your body was fully exposed to him, the sudden rush of sensation sending shivers down your spine. The air crackled with electricity as Azriel's gaze swept over your exposed form, his eyes dark as he drank in the sight of you.

Azriel's mind swirled with a tumult of conflicting emotions as he hovered over you, his fingers tracing patterns of guilt and desire on your trembling skin. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was responsible for the predicament you found yourself in. If only he had been more attentive, more cautious, none of this would have happened. But even as he berated himself for his mistakes, a dark, twisted part of him reveled in the power he held over you now.

As he watched you quiver under his touch, he felt a surge of arousal mingled with self-loathing wash over him. He was sick, twisted, and yet he couldn't deny the rush of pleasure that coursed through him at the sight of you laid bare before him.

Groaning in frustration, he narrowed his eyes, his resolve faltering momentarily before he forced himself to continue. Tracing a finger lower, he felt the tension in your body as you clenched your thighs, seeking relief from the overwhelming sensations that consumed you. But Azriel wouldn't allow it, not yet. With a growl, he forced your legs back open, his gaze fixed on your glistening core, evidence of your arousal under the influence of their vile drug. Deliberately, he brushed a finger through your folds, eliciting an intense reaction from you. Your body flinched, your core clenching around nothing but air as pleasure and pain collided within you.

A needy whine echoed through the room, reverberating off the walls as you squeezed your eyes shut in desperate longing. Azriel's eyes widened at the sound, his heart clenching with desire and fury. "Please, more. It hurts," you pleaded again, your voice thick with need. His jaw clenched as he fought the urge to unleash his fury upon those who had brought you to this state. You were suffering because of their sick, twisted games, and he swore to himself that they would pay dearly for it.

"I'm here, love," he cooed softly, his voice soothing. With a lazy motion, he began to draw circles on your sensitive bud, his touch both tender and electrifying. Finally, unable to resist any longer, he dragged two of his fingers down again, sinking them into your awaiting heat. A hiss escaped his lips as he felt you clench around his fingers immediately, your core desperately trying to draw them in. "Azriel," your voice left your lips in a sinful moan, sending a shiver of pleasure down his spine. He felt himself twitch in his pants at the way you said his name.

Picking up his pace, he arched his fingers, pumping them deeper. Unable to resist the intoxicating scent and taste of you, he leaned forward, carefully extending his tongue as he licked up from where his fingers were buried deep within you, moving steadily up to your sensitive bud before sucking on it with fervent hunger. A deep, guttural groan escaped his throat as the taste of you flooded his senses. You were on the brink of release, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks as you whimpered and pleaded for more. Each flick of Azriel's tongue, each harsh suck on your bundle of nerves sent waves of ecstasy coursing through your trembling form.

When his mouth left your clit after one final, intense suck, you heard a groan from the corner of the room. Azriel's keen senses immediately picked up on your movement as you started to turn your head toward the source of the sound, but his other hand, not the one still buried deep inside you, found your face, forcing you to look back at him.

His expression was stern, his gaze piercing as he locked eyes with you. "Eyes on me," he ordered, his voice commanding yet filled with a tenderness that belied the intensity of the moment. "Watch as I make you come." With a firm yet gentle touch, he guided your gaze back to his, his eyes burning with a fierce determination to pleasure you beyond measure. And as you obediently focused on him, the weight of the room and its twisted audience faded into the background.

You watched Azriel with rapt attention as his fingers worked wonders inside you, driving you to the edge of ecstasy with each skillful thrust. Your hips instinctively met his movements, grinding against his hand in a desperate quest for release. Despite the intensity of the moment, Azriel's concentration remained focused elsewhere.

His shadows slithered through the room, silent and deadly, creeping toward their unsuspecting victims. One shadow had already retrieved Truthteller, waiting patiently for its master's command. As you soared to the peak of pleasure, your body convulsing with the force of your climax, you released a torrent of ecstasy, squirting all over Azriel's hand and leathers.

"Good girl," he murmured, his voice a low growl of satisfaction as he allowed you to use his fingers to ride out your orgasm. But as you basked in the afterglow, the lust in Azriel's eyes gave way to a chilling darkness. With deliberate slowness, he withdrew his fingers from you, straightening his back as he met your gaze. Parting his lips, he slowly sucked the remnants of your arousal from his fingers, cleaning them off with a deliberate thoroughness.

And then, in the blink of an eye, he unleashed his wrath upon the twisted individuals in the room. His shadows surged forward, wrapping around the unsuspecting males, snapping their bones with lethal precision. Some shadows slithered into their lungs, suffocating them with tendrils of darkness. Truthteller gleamed in his hand as he swiftly dispatched nearly all of them, their bodies falling lifeless to the ground within seconds. But he saved the one who had dared to touch your wings earlier for last. As the man's eyes widened in fear, Azriel loomed over him, his Siphons glowing bright with unleashed power.

"You filthy male," Azriel's voice was ice-cold, his words dripping with contempt as he confronted the perpetrator. "Enjoy watching helpless Fae get violated?" With lightning speed, he caught the man's wrists, his shadows swirling around them as the room was consumed by darkness.

For each finger he severed with Truthteller, Azriel delivered a damning sentence. "This one," he intoned with chilling precision, "is for touching her wings."

“This one," he hissed with lethal intent, "is for the innocence you defiled." The blade sliced through flesh and bone effortlessly, leaving a trail of severed digits in its wake.

With each finger severed, Azriel's voice grew colder, more menacing. "And this one," he continued, his tone dripping with venom, "is for the fear you inflicted." The man's agonized screams filled the room, mingling with the sound of metal meeting flesh.

As the bloodied fingers littered the ground, Azriel's gaze bore into the man's soul, his eyes ablaze with righteous fury. "Remember this," he spat, his voice a low, ominous rumble, "for every drop of her pain, you will pay tenfold." Azriel's grip tightened around Truthteller as he gazed down at the mutilated figure before him. With a swift, calculated motion, he brought the blade down once more, severing the man's remaining hand with grim determination. "Shame that I cannot take my time with you," he muttered, his voice devoid of mercy, as he plunged Truthteller through the man's throat.

While the male gurgled and choked on his own blood, Azriel withdrew the blade with a steely resolve. With a final, lethal thrust, he ensured the man's demise, his shadows already dispersing to scout the building for any remaining threats and to locate proper attire for you both. Breathing heavily, Azriel attempted to quell the raging storm of fury within him, the splatter of blood marring his face and clothes serving as a grim reminder of the savagery he had unleashed. In that moment, he longed for the confines of his torture chamber in Hewn City, where he could have taken his time with these vile creatures.

A soft cry pierced the air, drawing Azriel's attention. With a start, he turned to find you on the ground, trembling on all fours, the remnants of your once-white dress clinging to your form. With swift, purposeful strides, he approached you, his expression unreadable as he assessed your condition. Blood and tears mingled on your face, your trembling form a testament to the horrors you had endured.

Kneeling beside you, Azriel reached out a hand, his touch surprisingly gentle as he brushed aside strands of hair plastered to your sweat-soaked skin. "Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice soft but laced with an undercurrent of concern. Despite the fury still raging within him, a flicker of something akin to tenderness sparked in his eyes as he gazed upon you.

Without waiting for your response, he moved to free you from the remnants of the torn dress and chains, his movements efficient but careful. As the fabric fell away, revealing the bruises and welts marring your skin, a surge of anger welled up within him once more. "I'll get you out of here," he vowed, his tone firm.

With a deft motion, he wrapped his cloak around you that his shadows had brought, shielding you from prying eyes and offering a semblance of protection against the chill of the night. "Hold on to me," he instructed, his voice commanding yet oddly comforting. "We're leaving this place, and I won't let anyone harm you further."

Rising to his feet, Azriel gathered you into his arms, holding you close as he carried you from the chamber of horrors. As you clung to him, he swore to himself that he would never let anyone hurt you again.

Azriel winnowed you to the inn they had booked a room in three days prior, the exertion causing him to stumble slightly upon arrival. Despite his weariness, he carried you with care to the bathroom, settling you down before running a bath. Your silence weighed heavily in the air, your gaze fixed ahead as if lost in the depths of your own thoughts.

"I'm so sorry you had to endure this," you finally spoke, the words heavy with emotion.

Rushing to your side, Azriel gently cradled your face in his hands, his heart aching at the sight of your pain. "No, love, it's me who should be apologizing," he murmured, disbelief coloring his tone. "I failed to protect you, and I let those monsters lay a hand on you."

Your eyes shimmered with unshed tears as you shook your head, a soft sigh escaping your lips. "It wasn't your fault," you insisted, your voice barely above a whisper. "We were both in that situation together." Leaning in, he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, his touch gentle and reassuring. "I promise to make it up to you," he vowed, his voice laced with determination. "Starting with getting you cleaned up and taking care of you."

Feeling the lingering effects of the drug, you sank into the warm water with Azriel's assistance, trying to hide the discomfort that still gnawed at your senses. Despite your efforts, the telltale signs of your distress were evident to him, your body tensing at the slightest touch, your skin still flushed with fever.

Azriel noticed your unease, his brows furrowing in concern as he observed your strained movements. Gently, he reached out, his touch feather-light as he brushed a stray lock of hair from your forehead. "Easy, love," he murmured soothingly, his voice a soft reassurance. "I'm here with you. Just relax, and let the water ease away the pain." Though his words offered comfort, you couldn't shake the lingering discomfort that coursed through your body. Despite your best efforts to hide it, Azriel's keen gaze didn't miss a thing, his eyes filled with empathy as he watched you struggle to find solace in the water's embrace.

With a gentle hand, he began to massage your shoulders, his touch tender yet firm as he worked to alleviate the tension that gripped your muscles. Gradually, you felt the knots begin to loosen, the warmth of the water seeping into your bones and offering a fleeting sense of relief. As Azriel massaged your shoulders, you couldn't suppress a slight whimper, the tension in your body betraying the pain that still lingered within you. Heat flooded your cheeks as you immediately apologized, feeling embarrassed by your body's involuntary response.

Azriel's movements faltered slightly at the sound, his senses heightened by the scent of your arousal that filled the air. Swallowing hard, he fought to keep his own desires in check, the tension between you palpable in the confined space of the bathroom.

You stuttered slightly as you tried to explain, your words coming out in fragmented whispers. "I'm sorry... I just..." Another whimper escaped your lips as you curled into yourself, pulling your legs to your chest in a feeble attempt to shield yourself from the discomfort that still plagued you. "It still hurts."

Azriel paused for a moment, the weight of your words sinking in as he contemplated his next move. When he spoke again, his voice was raspy and deep, tinged with sincerity. "Do you want me to help?" Your eyes widened at the question, your body trembling slightly as you shook your head. "Please don't do this because you pity me," you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper.

Furrowing his brow, Azriel leaned forward slightly, his gaze locking with yours. "Believe me," he murmured, his tone firm and unwavering. "Me fucking you would have nothing to do with pity." His words hung heavy in the air, filled with conviction and a promise of something more profound than mere sympathy.  As you met his gaze, your pupils blown and cheeks flushed, uncertainty still lingered in your eyes. Azriel noticed, and in that moment of vulnerability, he bared his own desires to you.

"If you had asked, I would have fucked you right there on that table," he confessed, his voice low and filled with raw desire. "No hesitation. No remorse. Just us." He paused, his gaze intense as he continued, his words tinged with a hint of  need. "And I would have taken my sweet time, making you forget any other male you've ever been with. I would have tasted every inch of you, every drop of your arousal, until you were begging for release."

He swallowed hard, his eyes burning into yours. "And afterwards," he added, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "I would have savored the sight of you, laying there, fucked out and trembling, as I licked my cum from your cunt."  As he voiced his desires, your body responded instinctively, a low moan escaping your lips, anticipation coursing through you. The tension between you grew thick. In the heat of the moment, you couldn't resist expressing your own desires, your words dripping with longing and want. "I want you, Azriel," you murmured, your voice laced with need. "I want you to fuck me until I can't think straight, until I'm begging you to stop."

Without hesitation, your lips crashed into his, a desperate hunger igniting between you. The kiss was fierce, fueled by longing and desire. You surged from the bath, water splashing around you, and pressed your wet, naked body against his chest. He groaned into the kiss, the sound vibrating between your lips. Prying your lips open with his, his tongue ventured forth into your mouth, exploring every inch of you, as if he was trying to commit it to memory. "Shit, you have no idea how much you infuriate me," his voice rumbled deep in his chest. He pulls you from the bath then, hiking you up in his arms, hands on your thighs as you wrap your legs around his middle. "How effortlessly you occupy so much space in my mind."

As he carries you, your bodies pressed tightly together, Azriel's breath comes in ragged gasps, his eyes dark with desire as he gazes into yours. "Gods, the restraint it took to keep myself from you," he confesses, his voice thick with emotion. "Every time I looked at you, on missions, during training... I wanted nothing more than to rip the clothes off your body and fuck you right then and there, for everyone to see."

His admission hangs heavy in the air, mingling with the heat of your desire. You can feel the intensity of his longing radiating from him, igniting a fire within you that threatens to consume you both.

"And you, my love," he continues, his voice husky with desire, "the strength you possess, the way you could best me in one-on-one combat training... It drove me mad with desire, the urge to ravish you, to claim you as mine."

With each word, his voice grows more fervent, his grip on you tightening as he carries you toward the bed. "I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you," he admits, his tone laced with regret. "So I distanced myself, buried my desires deep within, but now..." He trails off, his eyes locking with yours, a hunger burning within them that mirrors your own.

"Now," he whispers, his voice barely more than a breathy murmur, "I can't hold back any longer. I need you, more than I've ever needed anything in my life." And with that, he lays you gently on the bed, his gaze never leaving yours as he begins to shed his own clothes, his movements urgent and desperate.

As he discards his pants, his cock springs free, slapping against his toned stomach. You gasp at the sight, salivating at the thought of wrapping your lips around the silky skin of his member. Crawling forward on the bed, you meet him at the edge where he still stands, your hunger evident in your gaze as you look up at him.

"I know I'm still influenced by the drug, and I'm incredibly aroused. I can practically feel myself dripping onto the bedsheets right now," you confess. His eyes darken at your admission, wandering over your form kneeling before him, lingering on your dripping core. "But believe me when I tell you that I have fantasized about this moment so many times, Azriel."

Biting your bottom lip slightly, you part your lips shortly after. "I want to pleasure you, to taste your beautiful cock, feel it glide down my throat, and I want you to use my mouth." God, your shameless words cause a faint blush to creep up his cheeks, his dark hair still disheveled from the day's events.

His cock twitches in anticipation as you confess your desires, your words sending a shiver of anticipation down his spine. "I want you, Azriel," you continue, your voice low and sultry, "I need to taste you, to feel you fill my mouth and fuck me."

His own arousal surges to new heights at your shameless admission, his gaze locked on your lips, parted and inviting. "Then take me," he growls, his voice rough with need, "show me how much you want it." And with that, he guides himself to your waiting lips, his cock throbbing with anticipation as he presses against your tongue.

As you lower your mouth towards him, you flatten your tongue, tracing a strong strip up his long shaft, relishing the taste and texture of his skin. Your movements are deliberate, teasing, as you kitten-lick at his throbbing head, savoring every twitch and shudder that runs through his body.

Opening your mouth further, you eagerly suck him into your warmth, feeling him harden even more within your mouth. Your lips form a tight seal around him as you take him deeper, inch by inch, until he hits the back of your throat. You relax your throat muscles, taking him in completely, reveling in the feeling of fullness and the primal sounds of pleasure that escape him.

Your tongue dances around him, swirling and caressing, as you bob your head rhythmically, matching the pace of his rising desire. His hands find their way into your hair, threading through the strands as he guides your movements, urging you on with gentle pressure.

Each suction sends a wave of pleasure coursing through him, and you drink in every drop of his arousal, your own desire building with each passing moment. You're lost in the intoxicating rhythm of give and take, completely consumed by the need to pleasure him, to taste him, to feel him pulsing against your tongue.

As your lips wrap around him, Azriel grits his teeth, his eyes locked on you with a fierce intensity. He watches intently as you graze your teeth over the vein along his shaft, a deliberate tease that elicits a low growl from deep within his chest. He knows you're testing him, pushing him to the edge, and he can feel the tension coiling tighter with each passing second.

"You take me so well," he grunts through clenched teeth, his voice strained with desire. "Sucking my cock like that, driving me insane."

But as you continue to tease him, grazing your teeth and tongue over his sensitive skin, he feels himself reaching his limit. With a warning growl, he tightens his grip on your hair, his voice laced with a hint of desperation. "Keep teasing me like that, and I'll snap. I won't be able to hold back."

Your groan around his cock, a mischievous glint in your eyes, pushes him over the edge. With a growl of frustration, he releases you with a pop, watching as you smile innocently at him before flattening your tongue to lick up his shaft again. "You little minx," he breathes, his tone a mixture of frustration and desire. "You brought this upon yourself."

With that, he loses control, gripping your throat tightly as he uses your mouth for his own pleasure. His hips snap harshly, fucking your throat with an urgency that leaves you gasping for air. He can feel your gag reflex kicking in, but he doesn't relent, pushing you to your limits as he drives himself closer to the edge. "That's it, princess," he speaks through gritted teeth, his voice strained with need. "Take it all. You know you want it."

As he only pulls out when your eyes well with tears, gagging around him again, your jaw slack and drooling all over your chin, a string of saliva connects your mouth still to the tip of his cock as he retreats, chest heaving. He caresses your cheek, his touch gentle yet possessive, before dipping down to grab your chin with his thumb.

"Look at you," he murmurs, his voice a husky whisper as he gazes down at you. "So hungry for my cock. Bet your cunt is already waiting for me to bury myself inside it."

A whimper escapes your lips at his words, and he smirks down at you, the corners of his lips curling into a wicked grin. "Open your mouth again," he commands, guiding your head to lean back a bit as he slips his cock back into your warm mouth. He moans sinfully as he sheathes his cock into your willing mouth, the sensation sending shivers down his spine.

"Knees apart," he orders, his voice firm yet laced with desire, and you obey without hesitation, shifting to part your legs. You gasp around his length when you feel a cool touch on your thighs, sliding up your body. Your eyes widen in surprise when you realize he is using his shadows on you, and his smirk grows wider.

Your breath hitches as you feel friction between your legs, the shadows brushing against your clit, sliding through your wet heat. "You filthy thing," he chuckles lowly, his voice a dark whisper. "You like that," he states, groaning when your moan sends vibrations through his cock, intensifying the pleasure coursing through him. Your drugged form, heightened senses and all, nearly reaches the peak of ecstasy when one of his hands falls to knead one of your breasts and a shadow brushes over one of your wings softly. With a gasp, you pull back, your body shaking with need.

"Fuck, Azriel," you pant, your voice laced with desperation. "I need you inside of me." A wicked grin spreads across his lips as he looks down at you, his eyes smoldering with desire. "You want me to fill you up, don't you?" he growls, his voice dripping with raw lust. "You want my cock stretching you out, pounding into you until you can't take it anymore."

Your breath catches in your throat at his words, desire coursing through you like wildfire. "Yes," you whimper, your voice barely more than a needy whisper. "Please, Azriel, I need you to fuck me hard." He leans in close, his breath hot against your ear as he murmurs, "I'm going to make you scream my name, darling. You're going to beg for more, beg for me to never stop."

He lifts you slightly, guiding you as he turns you around, bending you over until you're on all fours, your wings fluttering with excitement. With a hand placed between your wings on your spine, he presses down, arching your back.

"God, you're gorgeous," he murmurs, admiring the sight before him. Using his knee, he nudges your legs apart, positioning himself behind you. "You're absolutely soaked."

Collecting some of your slick with his cock, he slides through your wet cunt, coating himself in your arousal. Your loud whine fills the air as you feel him grind into you. "Azriel," you moan his name, gasping when a harsh slap lands on your right ass cheek, leaving a handprint behind. Your pussy pulses with desire as you try to rub yourself against his hardness. "Fuck me," you seethe, your voice dripping with need.

He obliges, plunging into you with a force that sends your body reeling forward. You curse loudly as he inches deeper, until he's completely buried in your cunt, hitting your cervix. Azriel twitches at the tightness around him. "Shit, you're so tight," he groans, the intensity of the moment overwhelming both of you.

With a primal need driving him, Azriel begins to move within you, each thrust growing more relentless than the last. His hips collide with yours in a rhythm that's both punishing and intoxicating, the sound of flesh meeting flesh echoing through the room.

Your body responds eagerly to his every move, meeting his thrusts with equal fervor. Your moans fill the air, a symphony of desire that spurs him on further. Azriel's grip tightens on your hips as he sets a punishing pace, his cock delving deep into your slick heat with each powerful thrust.

The sensation is overwhelming, pleasure coursing through your veins like fire. Your nails dig into the sheets as you surrender to the ecstasy of his touch, your body arching against him in a desperate bid for more. As Azriel's thrusts grow more fervent, he groans, his voice strained with desire. "You feel so good," he pants, his breath hot against your skin. "You take me so well."

You respond with a needy whimper, your fingers clawing at the sheets beneath you. "Harder," you plead, your voice barely more than a breathy whisper. "Please, Azriel, fuck me harder." He grunts in response, his movements becoming more forceful as he drives into you with unrestrained passion. "Like this?" he growls, his voice rough with need as he increases the tempo of his thrusts.

You can only moan in response, the pleasure overwhelming as he takes you to new heights of ecstasy. "Yes," you gasp, your voice trembling with desire. "Just like that." With each powerful thrust, you feel yourself teetering on the edge of oblivion, the pleasure building to a crescendo that threatens to consume you. "I'm close," you whimper, your voice filled with urgency. "So close, Azriel."

He grunts in response, his own release drawing near. "Come for me," he urges, his voice low and husky as he drives into you with unbridled passion. "Let go, my love. Let me feel you." With a cry of ecstasy, you shatter beneath him, waves of pleasure crashing over you like a tidal wave. "Azriel!" you gasp, your voice echoing in the room as you succumb to the overwhelming sensation.

"I'm not done with you," he coos, withdrawing from you with a determined gleam in his eyes. In one fluid motion, he shifts positions, effortlessly lifting you into his arms as if you weigh nothing. "I need to look at you while I make you come again." Your breath catches in your throat as Azriel's commanding voice fills the room, sending shivers down your spine. You cling to him as he effortlessly lifts you, feeling weightless in his embrace, your legs draped over his shoulders.

The sensation of being held by him, of being completely at his mercy, ignites a fire within you as he plunges into you with a primal hunger. With each powerful thrust, you cling to him desperately, your nails digging into his skin as you surrender yourself to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your veins.

You gasp, your voice echoing in the room as he drives into you with unrelenting force. "Please, Azriel, don't stop." He grunts in response, his movements growing more frenzied as he takes you to the brink of ecstasy once more. "I won't," he growls, his voice thick with lust as he pistons into you with intensity. In the heat of the moment, Azriel's movements become more frenzied, his muscles straining as he drives into you with an unyielding passion. Your body quivers with each powerful thrust, the intensity of his gaze locking you in a mesmerizing trance.

The room swirls with shadows, dancing in a frenetic display of their master's passion. Beads of sweat form on Azriel's forehead, his brows furrowed in concentration as he maintains eye contact with you, his hazel eyes ablaze with desire.

Curses escape his lips as he nears the edge, his rhythm relentless as he repeatedly strikes that sweet spot deep within you. Your head falls back in ecstasy, your entire being consumed by the raw intensity of his thrusts, the sound of his balls slapping against your skin adding to the symphony of pleasure.

With a primal scream, you climax again, your essence gushing around him as you convulse in ecstasy. Wetness cascades down his legs as you drown him in the waves of your release. When you lock eyes with him again, you see the turmoil reflected in his gaze, the desire for release warring with the need to control.

As he begins to slow, ready to withdraw, you refuse to let him pull away. Your voice cuts through the haze of passion, commanding and insistent. "No," you declare, your tone leaving no room for argument. "I want you to fill me. I want every last drop of you."

A mix of desire and determination flashes in Azriel's eyes as he succumbs to your command. With a growl, he thrusts into you one final time, burying himself deep within your core as he spills his essence into you with abandon.

Azriel's breath is ragged against your skin, his body still trembling with the aftershocks of his release as he continues to grind into you, riding out the waves of his orgasm. You both pant heavily, lost in the intoxicating embrace of each other's warmth.

In the quiet of the room, the steady ticking of time seems to slow, the rhythm of your hearts gradually synchronizing as you revel in the aftermath of your passionate union. With each passing moment, the remnants of the drug that once clouded your senses dissipate, leaving you both in a state of serene clarity. Suddenly, Rhys's urgent voice breaks through the tranquility, invading Azriel's mind with a sense of urgency. Azriel's grip tightens around your hip instinctively, his focus momentarily pulled away from the blissful moment you share. "Brother, where are you? Is everything fine?" Rhys's concern reverberates in his mental voice, a stark reminder of the dangers that still loom beyond the sanctuary of your embrace.

Azriel's response is curt, his mental voice tinged with irritation as he struggles to maintain his composure amidst the lingering ecstasy. "Yes," he confirms, the word clipped with impatience as he tries to convey his need for privacy.

Relief floods Rhys's voice at the reassurance, but Azriel can sense his brother's lingering worry. "Gods, what happened, I wasn't able to reach you," Rhys presses, his concern palpable even through their mental connection. Azriel's annoyance bubbles to the surface, his desire to savor the aftermath of your passion momentarily overshadowed by the intrusion of reality. With a low growl, he sends a brusque reply, his focus returning to the warmth of your body pressed against his. "I'm kind of busy right now, Rhys," he grumbles, his tone a mixture of irritation and longing as he tunes out the outside world, fully immersed in the intoxicating sensation of being buried deep inside you.

A brief pause follows Azriel's curt response, the tension in the mental connection palpable as Rhys gathers his thoughts. Then, with a hint of playful sarcasm, Rhys's voice echoes in Azriel's mind. "Ah, I see. Busy indeed," Rhys remarks, his tone laden with amusement and a touch of mischief, his words carrying a knowing undertone that hints at his awareness of Azriel's current state of affairs.

Azriel's jaw clenches slightly at the teasing remark, his irritation flickering momentarily before being replaced by a begrudging amusement. He shoots back a mental retort, his tone dry and laced with exasperation. "Do you mind? I'm in the middle of something here," he replies, a hint of playfulness seeping into his mental voice despite his attempt to maintain an air of annoyance.

Rhys's laughter rings in Azriel's mind, a warm and familiar sound that serves as a reminder of the unbreakable bond between them. "Carry on, brother,”

With a soft sigh, Azriel shifts his head, planting tender kisses along the curve of your neck, the warmth of his lips sending shivers down your spine. He hums softly against your skin, his movements deliberate and gentle as he relishes the intimacy of the moment. Pulling back slightly, he meets your gaze, a knowing look reflected in your eyes.

"Rhys?" you inquire, a hint of curiosity lacing your voice. Azriel's expression darkens slightly at the mention of his brother's name, a flicker of annoyance crossing his features. "Yes, but I'd rather not have my brother's name on your lips while my cock is still buried deep inside your cunt," he replies, his voice low and husky, his gaze intense as he holds your gaze.

You chuckle softly at his response, a mischievous glint dancing in your eyes as you playfully tease him. "Fair enough," you concede, a smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. Azriel's frown deepens momentarily before giving way to a smirk of his own.

He kisses you once more, his lips lingering against yours before he slides out of you, gently setting you back down on your feet. As you stand there together, still caught in the aftermath, you decide to address the elephant in the room. "This doesn't have to be a one-time thing, you know," you say, your voice soft but resolute, seeking clarity in the midst of the intimacy you've shared. Azriel meets your gaze, his expression serious yet filled with a hint of vulnerability.

"I don't want it to be," he responds, his voice a low murmur, his eyes locking with yours as he lays bare his desires and intentions. "Good," you state, a sense of satisfaction in your voice.

"Good," he echoes, a soft smile playing on his lips as he gazes at you.

You move on shaky legs, his hand enveloping yours as you make your way to the bathroom together. "Now, I really want to clean up," you state, casting a playful glance over your shoulder at him. "But there's room for two sets of wings in the tub."

His body responds immediately, his eyes darkening once again as he takes in the sway of your hips while you lead the way to the bathroom, a lingering gaze on your bare ass.

"We're not returning for another day. Something came up," he sends out to Rhys, already on your heels as you chase each other into the bath.

"Sure you do, brother," Rhys's voice comes through, laced with amusement. "Just don't forget she still has to fly back home."

The flight back home indeed turned out to be quite difficult.

#smut #x reader #azriel acotar #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #reader insert #filth #pure filth #azriel smut #azriel fanfic #azriel x you #azriel angst

[suiana]

I need government official to have another child PLEASE I AM BEGGING

(yandere! government official x afab! reader)

"You are still as beautiful as the day I met you."

"What do you want this time?"

You mumble bitterly, staring at him through the bars of the holding cell you were currently in. As expected, he had caught you yet again. Only this time, his way of getting you back was much more intense.

You had been married to this crazy psycho for five years, becoming the object of his crazed obsessions as he kept you hidden away from everyone else.

Though, you had managed to escape on multiple attempts, he had always found you and brought you back to the place you had unwillingly come to call home. Though, he had never made a return entrance as big as this one.

Framing you of a crime, labelling you a wanted criminal, getting the cops to come to the place you were staying after escaping... You had to give it to him, this was a big feat. You hadn't realized he was that desperate to have you back.

So here you were, sitting on the floor of the luxurious holding cell he had you placed in, waiting for him to bail you out and give some bullshit excuse. Along with some promise you had to give him. Last time it was to act like you were obsessed with him for a week. You wonder what request he'll have you make this time?

"Well? What do you want me to promise this time?"

The attractive man hums, placing a finger under his chin as he pretends to think. You merely scoff, looking away as you pray that it won't be something too obscene. You still had some pride after all.

"Promise me you won't run away."

"Okay, done. Promised. Now let me out-"

"And..."

You narrow your eyes at him. This was the first time he had demanded you to promise a second thing. Just what was he thinking?

"And I want you to bear me another child."

You freeze on the spot, looking up to see his sinister smile as you shiver. What? Did you hear him correctly? He couldn't have... said that, right?

"What are you looking at me like that for? You know how much I adore children."

He chuckles, taking off his half rimmed glasses as he wipes the lenses. You grit your teeth, fists clenching as you glare daggers at the man who forced you to marry him. Fuck... Why would he ask you this now?!

You couldn't bring yourself to wilingly agree to this demand of his. No way! You already gave him one kid! Isn't that supposed to be more than enough?

But...

What other choice do you have?

It's either that or the prison. You know he won't be against sending you to a private prison, sending you to solitary confinement until you eventually give into him and come back.

You glare at him, looking up as you swallow your pride. There's no other choice. This is the only option. And you know that he knows this. That's why you can feel the smug aura around him in this very moment.

"Fine."

You hear him hum in contentment, dress shoes clacking against the tiled floor as he comes closer to you.

"Excellent. Now let's get you home. Our son is waiting for you."

Man, the gods really must hate you to subject you to such a fate, huh?

#suiana's sinners #yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere concept #yandere scenarios #yandere government official #yandere government official x reader #afab reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

[navybrat817]

Dark and Light

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Female Reader, Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: You learn the real reason why Hydra wants to keep you.

Word Count: Over 2.65k

Warnings: Threat of dubcon/noncon, minor character death, violence, canon divergent, captivity, brainwashing, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: It's been almost 3 years since the last part of Soldat and Sparrow. Are you lovelies still interested? ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @silkholland . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The cell they kept you in this time was larger than your last. It didn't make it any less uncomfortable. The thick gray walls surrounding you made the room suffocatingly quiet and hollow. You only knew the color thanks to the singular lightbulb in the center of the ceiling, too high for you to try and make a weapon out of the glass. Without windows, you didn't know it was dark or light outside.

There was no escape, but you couldn't give up hope.

It was maddening not knowing the time of day as you played the waiting game on the worn mattress in between meals and sleeping. The screams of your lover played on a morbid loop in your mind and you had to will yourself to not let tears surface. Other than temporary relief for your emotions and aching heart, crying would do you no good. It never did.

What you needed to do was focus.

The man on the bridge.

He triggered something inside of the Winter Soldier. Something Hydra wanted to keep locked away. But what was it?

Bucky. He called him Bucky. He knew him. But how?

Two hard knocks on the door pushed the thought away before it swung open. Narrowing your eyes as Brock walked in, you wondered if he could’ve been a good man in another life and fought for the people who needed it most the way he pretended to. This wasn’t that life though. He chose his side.

The wrong side.

“You know, I don’t get it,” he said, crossing his arms as he stood in the doorway. He didn’t hide the lust from his eyes as he looked you over. “I mean, the Asset does his job well, but it’s like he forgets all about being a soldier when he’s deep in your pussy.”

“What can I say? I guess my pussy’s just that good,” you sneered, not in the mood for his taunts or anything else.

“Is that right? Maybe he should fuck your ass next to get the stick out of it,” he snapped back. “Or are you too stuck up for that?”

Pierce had a range of prostitutes lined up to satisfy his soldiers, but Brock didn’t hide how pissed off he was that you were “given” to the Asset after that fateful training day. He claimed it was special treatment. He dropped the issue almost as quickly as it was brought up, which led you to believe he was either reprimanded or given something to shut him up.

“Is that what bothers you, Rumlow? That I'd rather fuck him than you?” You asked, tilting your head as you regarded him. “And just so we’re clear, I’ll never want you.”

Brock clenched his fists as he took a step forward. “You really are a fucking-”

“Let her be,” a melodic voice ordered behind him, making you stiffen as he moved out of the way.

The doctor, or Doc as most called him, stepped into the room with a kind smile on his face. Unassuming in stature, you knew better from the start than to judge him by appearance. The man was a snake in the grass ready to spread his venom to unsuspecting victims.

“How are you?” He asked.

You kept your eyes on him as he moved closer, doing your best not to show any emotion. The doctor somehow made you more uncomfortable than Rumlow and that said something. “How do you think I'm doing?”

“Hmm. Not well, I'm sure.”

“You guessed correctly,” you said.

You didn’t know why he bothered asking. Maybe he thought he was better than the others because he didn't physically hurt you. If anything, his indifference to the evil around him made it worse. It told you that he either justified or accepted it.

Either way, he disgusted you.

“Don't worry. You'll have the Soldat back soon and I’m sure you'll feel all better,” he assured you.

“You wiped him,” you reminded him, your voice cracking.

His screams echoed in your mind again, your heart aching as you tried to block it out. When pain knocked on the door, it didn't wait for an answer. It broke it down and made itself at home. But in the pain Hydra inflicted, the soldier found solace with you and you found the same with him. The light for each other within the darkness.

While you failed to protect him and couldn't stop what they did to his mind, you had to believe you’d help heal his soul once you had him back.

“We did indeed as we have many times.”

You knocked his hand away as he tried to place it on your shoulder, your stomach turning from his words. “Don't touch me.”

He held his hands up in surrender as he took a step back. “I mean no harm.”

“All of you mean harm,” you whispered.

The Soldat was your only bright spot in this nightmare. Ironic that he thought you were fire, bright and warm. The truth was you burned because of him. He was your eternal fuel that made the flames grow.

“I only want what is best for you,” Doc argued, his eyes void of any emotional depth behind his rimless glasses.

“Liar,” you whispered.

An exasperated sigh left his lips. “Now, now. I really do want what’s best for you. Don't you realize how important you are?”

“I'm not important,” you said. You never were. “Pierce made it clear that I don't have a purpose.”

But if that was the case, why were you still alive?

The doctor's chuckle made your blood run cold. “That's what he wants you to think. You see, the more they cut you down and make you question your worth, the easier it becomes for you to comply. Because by that point you’re so desperate for survival you'll do what is asked of you,” he explained, pushing his glasses up. “Yet you still only comply to an extent. It’s rather fascinating.”

He stared at you like you were a bug under a magnifying glass. And wasn’t that what you were to him? An experiment or something for him to study? “I haven't complied. I won't.”

“Oh, but you have,” Brock chimed in. You almost forgot he was still in the room. “Those missions you completed. The lives you took.”

Bile rose in your throat as images of violence and blood flashed in your mind. They would haunt you for the rest of your days. “No, I didn't want to hurt anyone.”

“Of course, you didn't. It’s as I said: desperation. You did what you had to do to survive,” the false sympathy from Doc grated on your nerves. “Don't let the weight of those souls wear you down. They were meaningless. But you? Oh, you are meant for more.”

He attempted to touch you again, but his hand moved toward your stomach this time instead of your shoulder. “I said don't touch me!” you snapped, scrambling backward to put distance between the two of you. As much as you wanted to hurt him, Brock was still there and could do a lot of damage.

The doctor pressed his lips together before he smirked. “Pierce and Rumlow are right. You have a hold on him. Even with his programming and orders, it all comes back to you,” he said, your body going rigid. Where was he going with this? “And it’s you that we want to carry his child.”

Your stomach churned again, but you weren’t sure if it was more at the thought that he wanted to force a child on you or that he’d try and force your soldier to impregnate you. “Care to repeat that?”

“You’re going to carry his child. You’re going to give birth to the perfect soldier. And you’ll keep doing so,” he said slowly like you were a petulant child, standing tall and proud as your mouth fell open in horror. “You’re the perfect incubator.”

Your stomach sank as you looked between him and Brock, wishing it was a sick joke. “No, I won't.”

“You think you have a choice?” The doctor questioned nonchalantly, like he was asking what you wanted for dinner. “And do you think the Asset needs to remember exactly what you mean to him to fuck you? I guess we'll see if he does. Science versus instinct.”

The room became eerily silent as the doctor gave you his first genuine smile since he walked in. You struggled to get your bearings and process the words. That was why you were still alive. They were going to make you an incubator. Force your soldier to breed you. They would take another choice away from him. And raise your children in captivity.

In Hell on earth.

“Well, that shut the bitch up,” Brock chuckled.

Before you could think, you launched yourself from the bed. The doctor’s eyes widened as you tackled him to the ground, unable to brace himself as you landed the first blow to his face. You straddled his waist, the second hit knocking his glasses away as fury rushed through your veins like a wildfire. He didn’t try to fight you off.

You could’ve cried. Screamed. Anything to keep him from making his twisted plan a reality.

The sound of a gun cocking stopped you from hitting Doc a third time.

“I won’t kill you,” Brock said, your fist frozen in the air as you looked toward him. Your chest heaved as you stared down the barrel of the gun. “But I’ll make it hurt if you don’t get up.”

“Go ahead,” you said through clenched teeth.

The doctor coughed, but held up a hand. “No shooting,” he croaked as you looked at him out of the corner of your eye. “No harming her.”

Brock’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. “She can still lie down and take a cock if-”

None of you could have foreseen the metal hand punching through the wall. Before you could blink, the hand closed around Brock’s shoulder and pulled him through, his cry of pain silenced almost immediately by the sound of a gunshot. The doctor beneath you was long forgotten as you scrambled to your feet just in time to see your soldier step into the room through the hole, his face obscured by his typical mask and goggles.

But you felt his gaze on you as he stood like a dark angel ready to avenge you.

Hope launched into your chest like a shooting star as you smiled. “Soldat,” you whispered.

He came for you. Found you. But the star that filled your heart quickly faded when he didn’t move toward you or say “Sparrow”.

The dread grew stronger when he holstered his gun and took out his signature knife.

Was this the beginning of the end?

The doctor smiled as he wiped the blood from his lap and slowly stood up. “You really think he’s here to save you? Oh, no. He just doesn’t want any competition near his breeding partner,” he taunted as your eyes stung. “Back from your assignment early, Soldat? Good. Now you can complete your mission.”

The Winter Soldier tilted his head before he took a step forward.

You remained rooted to the spot, casting your fear that he’d force himself on you aside. “Bucky,” you said, using the name you heard. His real name. A tear rolled down your cheek when he flinched and tightened his fingers around the handle. “I’m not going to fight you. Or hurt you. Do you know why?”

Another step forward, your heart pounded as you stood as still as a statue. “Why?” He asked, the word clear to you through his mask.

The tears flowed freely as he stopped in front of you and slipped his goggles off, your heart breaking when he dispassionately looked at you. “Because I’m your Sparrow. Remember? My fire burns for you and you only,” you told him and pointed to your chest. You needed him to remember. “We swore we’d be free together. Somehow.”

“Don’t listen to her. Breed her and be done with it,” the doctor ordered.

The soldier’s brows furrowed before his metal hand came up around your neck, not squeezing or bringing you any harm.

But it felt like a warning.

“You won’t hurt me,” you breathed out, placing your hand on his arm as you kept your panic at bay. “They won’t break me. And I won’t leave you,” you promised, echoing his words when he took you the first time. “I’m yours.”

No matter what they forced him to do to you, he would never be to blame.

The doctor had the gall to smack the flesh arm when he made no move to shove you down on the bed or remove your clothes. “Finish your mission. Now.”

“It’s okay,” you mouthed.

Somehow, it would be okay.

“My mission…” the soldier began mechanically, not taking his eyes off you as he plunged the knife into the doctor’s jugular. You weren’t sure you could breathe. “Is to keep my Sparrow safe.”

An intake of air caught your sob as the metal hand fell away, the doctor collapsing as he tried in vain to stop the blood from leaving his body. It was useless. And a kinder death than he deserved.

“Hail,” he gurgled, his fingers stained red. “Hydra.”

“Just shut up and die,” you snapped as your soldier ripped his mask off. “Soldat,” you said, softer, almost crying all over again.

“Sparrow,” he whispered.

There was nothing gentle or sweet in the way pressed his lips to yours, but it was warm and safe as he pulled you against you. Your arms slipped around him as you returned the kiss, your cheeks still wet from crying. For a second there, you thought you’d lost him. For once, fate decided not to be cruel to you.

It brought you back together.

“I’m sorry I couldn't get to you sooner,” he said when he allowed you a moment to breathe, quickly scanning as much of you as he could. “Did they hurt you?”

“No, I’m okay. I just thought…” you trailed off with a shake of your head. “You came back to me.”

But how?

“I’ll always find you, Sparrow,” he said, touching your cheek as your heart swelled. “Steve helped me remember a lot of things. Including you.”

“The man on the bridge? You saw him again?” You asked before an alarm sounded, the blaring force echoing in the room.

“Yes. And his friend is sending reinforcements, so we need to go,” he said over the noise, nudging the doctor’s body with the toe of his boot before he stepped on his glasses.

“Where are we going?” You asked.

Where could you go since you no longer had a home? You had so many questions, but understood that you’d have to wait for answers. Getting out of there in one piece was your priority.

“Somewhere safe,” he answered, fear flickering in his eyes for a moment. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life,” you promised without hesitation. And anything else you had to offer him.

The next kiss was one of gentleness, relief, and thanks. “One thing before we leave.”

“What’s that?” You asked as he took your hand.

Love and determination filled his eyes as he glanced back at you and put a gun in your other hand. “We burn it down.”

You could hardly contain the fire inside you as you smiled. “Together.”

You didn’t know what the reinforcements would do or what would await you once you got out. It didn’t matter. Your soldier found his way back to you and you would follow wherever he went. The two of you would finally leave Hydra behind.

In a pile of rubble and ash.

But you’d find out soon enough that the man on the bridge wouldn't let your soldier go either.

I'll try not to let so much time pass before the next update. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #winter soldier #soldat and sparrow #bucky barnes #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #sebastian stan

[fandxmslxt69]

Terrible Liar

Avenger!Loki x Avenger!f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injury (reader has a nasty ass wound), mentions of blood and medical supplies, Loki and reader are both assholes to each other but its FUNNY. Rushed plot bc this came to me in a fever dream. Maybe some bad grammar, run on sentences etc. Ignore those ahaha. this is NOT edited or reviewed AT ALL. she's as raw as they come.

A/N: This came to be in a fever dream. Btw. Like God sent it to me. I'm sorry if it feels rushed I was so desperate to get it all down I blacked out. IT'S 5K OKAY MY BAD AHAHAH i'm kind of a slut for this kind of trope so MY BAD. anyway this is for THE @sarahscribbles 's Christmas Celebration!! Sorry I'm a little late, these two wouldn't shut the fuck up so I got carried away. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ENJOY SARAH I LOVE YOU <3

Synopsis: What could possibly go wrong with spending a night sharing a room with Loki? (aka: enemies to lovers + one bed trope)

Word count: 5K

Oh man. You watched Loki bang the hood of the car in anger. That can’t be good. 

You rested your head against the window of the stolen car, taking deep breaths. You could feel your whole body shaking from the adrenaline. You hadn’t calmed down a single bit since the ride out here. How long has it been? Probably less than an hour. You had no idea how far out you were from the nearest town and it absolutely was not the right time for this car to stop. Your entire body hurt from getting kicked in the ass repeatedly during the fight, and your head spun. Your left side throbbed and your shoulder screamed in agony. Not to mention, you are completely separated from the rest of the group, and you have no means of communication. Somewhere along the way, you had lost your comm, and your spare was of no use. Loki said the lines were down anyway, so it wasn’t much help to begin with. 

Speaking of the devil, he threw the door of the car open, letting in the chill winter air, and huffed as he got back in, slamming the door behind him. “Stupid, useless vehicle. What is the point of transportation if it fails so easily?” He grumbled.

“It’s out of gas, genius,” “Well it’s not making for a very efficient getaway car,” He ran a hand through his hair. “Well?” You looked at him expectantly, but he only looked back with an expression of confusion. You sat up straighter to face him, but your vision blurred and your head swam. It took you a minute to collect yourself. “We can;t just sit here, we’ll freeze to death,” Loki scoffed. “No I won’t,” You clenched your jaw. “Okay, I’ll freeze to death,” “Tragedy,” His tone was dead as he pulled out his phone to mess with. “I’ll let them know it was a heroic death,” “You’re such an asshole,” “How original,” You nearly growled. “Laufeyson,” “Agent,” He replied smoothly, looking up at you with one of those disarming grins. You were not falling for it. You may be delirious and crashing soon, but you were not falling for Loki’s charms. 

“We need to figure something out,” “You mean I need to figure it out,” “Oh my fucking god. I’m not gonna sit here like some passenger princess-” “Agent, you are trembling so hard you couldn’t even walk a foot much less help out in this little dilemma,” Loki interrupted. “I have no desire to starve out here, and horrifyingly, I can’t find it in my heart to let you die out here either. I’ll figure it out,” 

You grumbled under your breath, and you were certain he heard you because he grinned wider and went back to messing with his phone. 

He was right though, you were shaking really hard- both from the adrenaline and now, the cold. Whenever you exhaled, a puff of white air formed in front of you, and the tip of your nose was starting to go numb. The idea of leaving your fate at the moment in the hands of Loki was an absolutely horrifying idea, since you knew how reckless this guy tended to be. But you didn’t have much of a choice, and as much as it physically pained you to sit quietly and wait, you did just that. It was made another fifteen minutes before Loki peeled his eyes away from the phone pad. He opened the door to the car, and stepped out. 

“Hey!” You yelled. “Where the hell are you going? Close the goddamn door!” But of course, he didn’t bother answering or listening. He looked around, staring at his phone occasionally before surveying the area again. And just when you thought he couldn’;t get more insane, he started walking away from the car. Your heart squeezed in your chest. Was he going to leave you here? Like hell he was. You kicked open your door, shakingly getting out of the car. You were vaguely aware of the stab of pain at your side that nearly had you doubled over as black spots danced in your vision, but you willed yourself to push it aside. You slammed the door shut as you walked out after Loki. 

“Hey!” You yelled out to him. You had no idea if he could even hear you with the way the wind howled and snow whipped at your face. It was freezing cold, snow biting your cheeks and your teeth chattering after being out here for less than a few minutes. “Laufeyson!” You yelled louder, arm clutching your side and limping in the direction he walked in. No answer. You were positive a storm was kicking up. 

“Loki!” You screamed this time, as loud as your voice let you. Your chest heaved, your throat hurt, and the air you gulped stung so bad you were so close to never breathing it again. 

“Loki! God help me, Loki, when I find you!” You looked around slowly, yet all you saw was the outline of your stolen car in the winds, and white. So much white. “I’ll haunt you, you know!” You shouted into the wind. “If I die here, I’ll haunt you forever!” You had to shield your eyes from the harsh snow as you yelled. You knew he couldn’t hear you, but you also knew that he couldn’t have gotten too far. How long could he even last out here? Damn it, he could probably last a while. 

Stupid, horrible, arrogant Loki. You contemplated going back to the car, but decided that if you were going to imagine a million and one ways to kill and haunt Loki for eternity, you might as well do it while freezing out here. You were only at number fifteen of your haunting possibilities when you heard his stupidly smooth voice. “What in the Nine Realms do you think you’re doing out here?”

You whirled around to find him standing there, absolutely unaffected by the weather or your situation. His cheeks were rosy and his pretty hair was up in a bun (that was more falling apart than anything) and pretty snowflakes hung in the curls. 

He looked….well. He looked heavenly, to say the least. 

“I was out here looking for you,” You shot back as harshly as you could, but with the way your teeth chattered and the small smirk that tugged at his lips, it didn’t seem to be working. “You should have stayed in the car,” He sounded almost…angry. Why the hell would he be angry when he left you behind? Although, the frown and furrowed brows were a little cute. “You shouldn’t have wandered off and left me behind,” “I was coming to get you,” “Like hell you were,” “I was,” He stepped closer to you, and you had to hold back everything to not huddle up closer to him like a goddamn penguin. He snapped his fingers and you felt something warm and heavy fall on your shoulders. “Put that on. We’re leaving,” 

“Leaving?! Where the hell are we leaving?! Do I need to remind you that we are stranded in the middle of a storm?!” 

Loki grumbled as he forcefully got you into the jacket he conjured. You didn’t bother saying thank you, which was fine because he only kept glaring at you before marching ahead. 

“Where are you going?!” He didn’t bother answering. “Loki!” Assshit. You grumbled and huffed the entire time as you hurried after him, trying to block off the tingling ache at your side. You knew you didn’t get stabbed. Maybe it’s a big cut. You were certain you’d know if a knife had lodged itself into your side. 

You had no idea where Loki was taking you but you kept your mouth shut in hopes that it was someplace warm and safe. 

“Your hair looks like shit,” You blurted out. Okay, maybe not always keeping your mouth shut.

He looked at you from the corner of his eye. “You don’t look much better,” “Yeah but I said it first,” “Maybe I should have left you in the car,” “I would’ve still found you,” “Yes, haunting me forever,” “You heard that?!” He shrugged. “I was heading back to the car. You weren’t exactly quiet,” You stared at him with wide eyes. “And you didn’t even say anything,” “I found it too amusing to interrupt,” You frowned, shoving him with your shoulder. Wrong move apparently, because your vision started spinning and your knees nearly buckled. Loki wrapped an arm around you ever so gently, as if scared you’d shatter otherwise. “Stop talking,” He snapped. “And stop being so damn aggressive. I would like to make this journey without you collapsing on me,” “I’m not going to collapse,” You mumbled. “You always were a terrible liar,” He muttered under his breath, and more or less carried you to your destination. At first, you didn’t let him, but he won eventually, like he always did, and you leaned the rest of your weight onto him. 

You had no idea where you were until you reached the smack middle of a small town. A picture perfect fantasy, almost. Little houses and small shops lined with lights and trees and covered in snow. It was like stepping into a Hallmark movie. Each house was so full of light, and even through the howling wind, you could hear the sounds of laughter and shrieking children. 

How the hell did Loki find this place? “There’s a motel here. We’ll book rooms, spend the night. I’m sure there’s Wi-Fi too,” Loki sounded like he was talking more to himself than you. 

“Freaking out?” You asked. 

“Yes. I’m thinking of which way Stark will kill me if you die,” “Pfft. Tony wouldn’t kill you,” Loki raised his eyebrows but stayed quiet as he walked you both through the town. The storm was clearly picking up, and you were thankful that he had all those genes to keep him alive in this weather, and that he was able to find this place. 

When you reached the motel- which appeared to be the only one in town- you couldn’t help smiling (even if you couldn’t feel your face at all anymore). It was a cute little building, rustic and heartwarming. Little snowmen lined the front, and a bed jingled as you and Loki entered. The inside was even better, with burgundy and gold designs and wallpaper that looked like it came straight out of a Victorian novel. It was cozy, and more importantly, warm. 

You almost sobbed in relief as you practically collapsed onto an armchair by the counter. Your body sank into it, your nerves singing in joy as you slowly felt your fingertips again. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked. 

You nodded. “Yup,” He made a sound of disapproval. “You need to lie better,” “Go shove your head through the wall,” You muttered back. He only grinned. Loki didn’t even appear fazed or relieved at the warmth, and simply marched up to the counter. There was no one there, and he rang the bell at least five times. 

“Would you stop that?” You snapped after the sixth time.

“It’s a bell. It’s meant to be used,” “Not like that,” “It’s how you call for attention,” “Well I’m sure whoever runs this place will be here shortly,” He lasted a whole two minutes before he hit the bell again. 

“Loki,” You hissed. 

“Just a minute!” You heard a cheery voice call from the back, and a short old lady appeared, seemingly out of breath. “Sorry about that, all those damn stairs,” She chuckled to herself.

Loki flashed her a smile. “It’s not a problem at all,” “Oh my,” The old woman smiled back but this time you swore up and down she blushed a little. 

Loki and his stupid, disarming smile. 

“My…friend and I are a little caught in this storm,” He started, gesturing to you. You waved weakly at the lady and mustered up a smile. She probably thought you were crazy. You had no idea how you looked, but you knew it wasn’t how a normal person should. 

“We were wondering if you had any available rooms for the night. Just two is fine,” He turned back to the lady with an even bigger smile. 

“Well,” She smiled wider at Loki. “I’ll see what I can do,” He nodded, “Thank you…” he squinted at her name tag. “Lucy. Thank you very much, Lucy,” And there Lucy went, blushing and grinning at him again. 

Horrible, absolutely tragic. The poor woman had no idea how insufferable Loki was. 

Lucy rummaged through her desk, seemingly looking for keys to the rooms. She pulled out one, placing it on the counter, before going back to look for the other. You waited, tagging your foot on the wood floor, staring at the cute fireplace. Your whole body hummed in gratitude, and your feet tingle, feeling back in them. 

“Oh dear,” Lucy muttered to herself. 

“Everything alright Lucy?” Loki asked. 

“It seems that I only have a single room available. This storm has the place booked fully,” She explained. 

Hell no. 

Loki sighed. “Very well-” “Are you sure?” You interrupted him. “Can you check again?” You probably sounded desperate, but you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You can’t share a room with Loki. You’d go crazy. You’d do something disastrous- like give in to the urge to cuddle into his chest! Or God forbid, tangle your hand in his hair. 

“I did, hon. I’m afraid this is all I’ve got,” She said apologetically. 

Fuuuuck. 

“It’s quite alright, Lucy. There’s two beds in the room, correct? I’m sure we can manage to share a room for a night,” Loki said hastily before you could interrupt again. 

Lucy opened her mouth, as if to say something else, before she stopped. “Alright,” “How much is it for the night, darling?” Oh okay, he was really laying it on thick then. 

“Oh- oh um…” Lucy chuckled nervously. “This room….it’s 150$ for the night. You can pay in the morning, if you prefer,” “Nonsense,” Loki smiled, pulling out cash from the pocket in his top armour, counting the bills. “Here you go, Lucy,” He handed her the money. “Thank you so very much for your help,” She nodded wordlessly as she handed him the key. Loki took it and turned back to you, arms on his hips. “Are you coming, or must I carry you?” “I wouldn’t mind being carried…” You started jokingly. Apparently, Loki couldn’t read the room, because he frowned, shrugged and then walked over, picking you up effortlessly. 

“Hey-!” You started to protest, but a sudden wave of pain shot through you, shutting you up. “I was joking,” You muttered.

“Mhm,” He said, shooting Lucy another smile before heading upstairs to your room. The stairs were cute too, you noticed, lined with a soft matt and cute lamps lined the walls. And Loki’s chest was really warm, and- that had nothing to do with the motel. 

Before your thoughts could get any more dangerous, Loki stopped in front of a room, hand rummaging through his back pocket to get the key. “You can put me down now,” “I’ll put you down when I feel like it,” Shithead. 

He unlocked the door and stepped in, closing it behind him with his foot. All businesslike, he walked over to the big bed and placed you down on it. It was comfy, and you had to control yourself from not falling back and getting it dirty in all your blood and gore. Loki looked you over. “Fine?” You nodded. “Fine,” He smiled and you were certain he was going to call you a liar but you stopped him. “Laufeyson?” “What?” “Where’s the other bed?” Loki froze, looking around the room slowly. “Oh,” “Oh?” He looked back at you. “It seems, darling, that there is no other bed,” “No fucking shit! You’re sleeping on the floor,” He looked at you in disbelief. “Absolutely not. We can share the bed like civilised people,” “Everyone always says that! And then it never works out!” You threw your hands up. You winced, immediately dropping your hands to hold your side. “Everyone? Who the hell is everyone?” “The movies, duh,” He stared at you. “You’re serious,” “Dead,” He ran a hand down his face. “Alright. We’ll split the bed or something. I truly don’t care enough. I simply want to sleep,” You shrugged. “Fine. Go shower first, then I’ll go in,” “I don’t have clothes to change out of, genius,” “You’re a god genius,” You replied mockingly. “I’m pretty sure you can snap your fingers and get us some clothes,” He stared at you, like he hadn’t had that thought at all. “Right.” And indeed, with a snap of his fingers, a pile of clothes appeared on the bed, and one in his hands. “Try not to get yourself killed,” “I hope you drown in the shower,” He smiled at you before heading into the washroom. You were finally alone, even for a few minutes. You breathed a sigh of relief. Being around Loki always ended with one of you flustered. Tragically, it tended to be you. You looked through the pile of clothes Loki summoned- a plain shirt that appeared way too large, and some plaid pants. They weren’t outrageous. You just had to make sure you hadn’t lost any limbs. 

You slowly peeled off the layers of your top- the jacket, weapons, cash, your useless comms and phone- and then unzipped your equally-useless-in-the-cold vest. You laid all your things on the floor, not wanting to get the bed dirty. Then, slowly, you lifted your top just under your chest, sucking in a deep breath.

Fuck. 

There was a nasty looking cut, starting from right under your ribs and nearly crossing the other side. You didn’t think it looked terrible, but you are almost certain it needed stitches. It wasn’t bleeding too much, but that might have to do with being out in the cold for too long than anything else- even your top was more or less soaked in blood. 

You didn’t even have a first aid kit. You traced around the cut slowly, wincing when it hurt. You prayed it wasn’t infected. 

“Alright, hm?” Your head snapped up to see Loki freshly showered and changed, his now useless mission suit nowhere in sight. “Um, yeah, I’m fine,” His jaw ticked. “You’re hurt,” “Yeah but I’m fine,” “You are bleeding,” He sounded ...angry. Was he mad at you? “It’s not like I did it on purpose,” You snapped. 

He clenched and unclenched his fists. He opened his mouth to say something, before he shook his head and stormed out of the room. 

“What the fuck? You called out after him. He didn’t answer as the door slammed behind him. 

You had no clue why he had to be so mad. It’s not like you chose to get hurt, and you certainly weren’t going to ask him for anything, so why’d he get so pissy? You grumbled to yourself as you grabbed the clothes, heading into the bathroom to scrub off the day. 

It took you a solid twenty minutes to wash everything out. You were very careful to not open your cut further, taking warm water to wash off the dried blood around it. 

You tugged on the plain shirt as you stepped out of the bathroom. You winced when you reached up to tie your hair, deciding to just leave it down to dry. You had thrown your old clothes on the pile of Loki’s in the bathroom, and used a spare towel to press against your wound. 

“Welcome back,” You said sarcastically when you found Loki sitting on the bed. 

“Come here,” He said curtly. 

“You can’t just order me around after you walk out you know? And you can’t get bitchy with me for no fucking reason-” “Will you please come sit down so you can look at your wound,” Loki snapped, but it didn’t sound harsh. It was almost…pleading. You froze in your spot, blinking slowly at him. His voice sounded devastated and in your daze, you nodded, slowly walking over to sit on the bed beside him. 

“May I?” He gestured to your shirt and you nodded again. He lifted it over your head, and suddenly you were thankful for putting on the sports bra Loki brought with your clothes.. “You didn’t say anything,” He whispered. 

You swallowed. This was too freaky. You never got this close with Loki. “We-...we had other things to worry about,” You swore his hands trembled as he reached into the first aid kit beside him. Where did he get that? Did he run out to buy one? Damn it. You and Loki didn’t do fluffy shit. The one day you needed him to be an asshole….

He took his time cleaning the wound, and you tried your best to keep your yelps of pain down. 

“Do you want stitches?” Loki asked in a soft tone. He looked ...frightened. And why too pale. Did he get squirm-ish at this stuff?

“Are you a medical professional?” You asked. 

“Farthest thing from it,” You hummed. “Just wrap it up,”

He nodded, grabbing some cotton pads and the gauze. He carefully placed the pads onto the wound, and began wrapping the gauze around your waist. His fingers brushed against your skin, and you shivered at the touch. 

“There,” He exhaled, pulling his hands away. “You can put your shirt back on,” “Yeah,” You nodded. You should definitely grab it now. You should probably put it on. But you didn’t move a muscle, not with the way Loki stared at you, and the way his eyes dipped lower occasionally. He looked away, appearing flustered, his fists clenched on his thighs. “Loki?” “What?” He snapped. 

“Why are you so angry?” “You could have died,” His voice died down to nothing but a desperate whisper. “You could have died,” You opened your mouth to protest, to say that you had it under control and that everything was fine, but he shook his head. 

“Don’t you dare say everything was ‘fine’. You’re still such a terrible liar,” You weren’t. He just had that freaky ability to tell when you lied every damn time. 

“You could have died. Human life is so horribly fragile, you could have died at any second. What was I to do then, hm? Stare at your lifeless body?” “I thought you’d rejoice at my death,” You joked, trying to break the tension. His eyes snapped to look at yours, his jaw clenched and his eyes wide with fear. You thought he’d say something, but instead he just leaned in, crushing his lips harshly against yours. Before you could even react, he pulled away, breathing heavily. 

“I would have died too. In the simplest terms, my heart would have stopped working the minute yours did too,” You froze in shock, staring at him with wide eyes. What just happened? Your lips tingled from the kiss. You wanted him to do it again. “What the hell are you saying, Loki?” “I’m saying that you are incredibly stupid and idiotic and completely selfish. And that I would rather die than live a life without you in it,” He started, his tone angry and desperate. Your head was spinning. Maybe there was drugs in the linen of this bed. Or maybe Loki hit his head. 

“Say something,” Loki pleaded now, the fight gone from him. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass. I can’t help myself. I go crazy every time you’re around. I can’t think straight and I….I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never done this before. I thought perhaps if I annoyed you enough, I’d get you out of my head. But Norns, every time you shot some clever remark back, it only egged me on more,” He was rambling at this point. 

You felt confused, but at the same time a sense of relief washed over you. It wasn’t like you were in love with Loki- but you definitely didi entertain the idea of occasionally making out with him or spending the day shopping together. 

So maybe it was a little crush. 

And fuck, it was a relief to hear him blurt out how helpless he was with you. 

“Did you black out?” Loki asked. He cursed under his breath, getting up to give you some space. “I apologise, I shouldn’t have said anything. I came off too strong,” He fumbled as he stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I just…I panicked. I apologise-” “Loki,” You stopped him from spiralling further, even if it was cute to see his usually composed self dissolve. You shuffled over to him on your knees. Even while on the bed, he was still fucking giant. You cupped his face and pulled him down, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

You pulled away after a second, dizzy from the feel of his lips on yours. It was better than you could have ever imagined. He stared at you in shock, lifting his fingers up to press them to his lips. You nearly died right there. 

“What was that for?” he asked, shocked. 

You laughed, kissing him again. He leaned into it this time, wrapping his arms carefully around your waist, his lips pressing against yours. 

You kissed him again and again and again, until you were both breathless and his lips were swollen and you were sure yours were too. 

“You’re really fucking insufferable, by the way,” You muttered against his lips. He hummed, chasing after yours as you pulled away. “You drive me insane. You’re in my head all the damn time, I can’t get rid of you,” “Don’t get rid of me, then,” He captured your lips in another bruising kiss. “I don’t plan to,” You sighed happily as you shuffled back onto the bed, pushing aside bandages and gauze wrap and wipes. Loki was a lot neater, taking his time to put them away onto the night table. He crawled into bed with you, his body hovering over yours, hands on either side of your head, caging you in. He leaned down, pressing another kiss to your lips. One kiss turned into two, into three, and then you were making out lazily, your lips crushed together, heavy pants and heated breaths for god knows how long. Tragically, Loki rolled off of you, laying down beside you. You took deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart. 

Loki shifted, laying now on his side to look at you. You did the same, smiling softly. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 

“If you couldn’t tell, I’m not quite a people person,” You chuckled. “No, I guess not,” He could be your person though.

Maybe that’s too early to say. You kept your mouth shut. 

“Did I come off too strong?” “Nah,” You shook your head, reaching out to wrap your finger around a lock of his hair. “It was a Hallmark-worthy confession,” “What in the Norns is this Hallmark?” You laughed. “It’s a company. It makes lots of cheesy rom coms, all of which have some sort of frustratingly handsome male lead and big confessions,” “So you’re saying I’m handsome,” He grinned devilishly.  

“Can’t deny it,” 

He leaned in and kissed you again. You kissed him back but then pushed him off. “Stop it. I’ll become addicted,” He leaned back in. “Not a problem. I have no plans to go anywhere,” You ducked away from him, laughing. “If you keep making out with me Loki Laufeyson, we will be having sex,” His brows furrowed. “Absolutely not. Not while you’re injured,” Damn. 

“Fine, then stop kissing me,” “Well that’s unfair. I just got started!” You shrugged. “It’s not my call,” He huffed, pulling you closer, your back flat against his chest. His arm wrapped carefully around your waist, the hand coming to rest just under your wound. “Go to bed then. Before I do something crazy,” “I like crazy. I’m quite fond of crazy,” “Yes, crazy seems to follow you everywhere. It might be your whole identity, really,” “Is that an insult?” A pause. “I don’t think so,” 

You fell silent for a minute. “I think Lucy has a crush on you,” Loki laughed. “What makes you say that?” “Um, the way she blushed when you smiled at her? You laid it on so thick,” You could hear the shiteating grin as he spoke. “I have no idea what you mean, darling. I spoke to her like a normal person,” “Hm,” You wiggled closer to him. “Nah, you definitely were charming her,” His hand squeezed your hip. 

“Stop that,” “What?” You feigned innocence. 

“Stop moving,” You wiggled your ass again, just for a bit of emphasis. “What? This?” 

You swore the sound he made then was some growl. “You find new ways to annoy me every day,” “It’s my talent,” “And you excel at it,” You truly did. No one ever got under his skin like you did. And now with this new layer of your relationship, you have an infinite number of possibilities. 

You knew you guys should probably talk. Figure out where you stand. A plan for tomorrow morning. Try to communicate with the team. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care right now though. Loki was warm, and as he peppered kisses across your shoulder, you felt like maybe tomorrow would be a good day too. 

“I still think you’re an ass,” You mumbled, your eyes half closed. 

He laughed, the sound vibrating in his chest. “Truly a terrible liar,” He pressed a kiss under your ear. “I still think you are the bane of my existence,” “The only one?” “The only one,” You hummed, content with the answer. You could figure things out tomorrow. Tonight, you just wanted to lay in this haze of sunshine. To sleep and wake up to get drunk on Loki again.

Tags: I'm gonna tag a few people because I think I'm silly and this is my second little christmas-y fic so what the hell i dont care LMAO. DONT FEEL OBLIGED TO READ <3 @sarahscribbles @divine-knight-hand @holdmytesseract @joyful-enchantress @saturn-rings-writes

#loki laufeyson #loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson fluff #loki x f!reader #loki fanfiction #loki fic

[tenjikyu]

𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 - 𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘬𝘪 - 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ really angsty with some fluff at the end , male!reader throughout the entire series .

PART I • PART III • GENSHIN M.LIST

tag list :@wanderchive @wanderer-baizhu-simp @gimmealamp @mis-disaster @remi-appalace @lucianidealz @sleepdeprivedpotato @unemiart @heejinsong @kiiyoooo @sweett-heartzz @camryn-ciel67 @aruaruaru @danika-redgrave124 @ravencalamity @snowcatlove @bunbunboysworld

it’s been awhile since diluc had seen his little brother’s face, and from the moment he stepped into the manor he knew something was up.

he noticed it in your eyes, the colour dimmed down and that childlike glint lost into the depths of your coloured iris’. he saw your eyebags, weighing down your once flawless skin. he noticed your attitude, expecting a big hug and questions of his wearabouts, however he received nothing more then a harsh glare and a quiet “i’m going out, see ya”, not even sparing him a second glance. you just walked out the door, not a care for his presence.

what a familiar sight that was, only the brothers roles had been reversed. just how much had he fucked up, and what was left of yourself to apologise to?

you laid your head on the young bards thighs, his fingers dancing upon his lyre with a gentle breeze forming in the winds. your tears stained your cheeks, however you made no attempt to wipe them, as a soft white feather came down before your fingers could reach and wiped them away for you.

“what should i do barbatos? i’m lost” you whispered gently, the gods ears picking up every word as your lips moved.

lord barbatos knew the answer, however he knew you may not take his answer lightly. you were only getting colder, showing even less signs that your old self was still present in your husk of a body.

for now though, his thin fingers would continue to caress your head, stroke your hair and keep you close. for now, he would do his best to stand in as your light in the dark, your safe place.

lord barbatos knew, deep down in his soul, that you weren’t just unhappy, you were utterly shattered and no amount of apologies, gifts or explanations could repair what your brothers had caused you.

for now though, he wants you to just continue holding onto whatever you can of your sanity.

you wandered aimlessly around the streets of mondstadt, dragging your shoes against the pavement and sulking to yourself. the lingering numbness that never left your side since that fateful day was a lot more rowdy then usual, thumping in your stomach. how much longer should the gods make you suffer like this? how many tears will you shed on that bards shoulder until you finally feel at ease? how many times do you have to push away diluc before he takes the hint that he can’t fix this??

making your way back home to the manor, you dreaded what awaited you.

it was the same thing every time you made it home.

diluc would be sitting in the dining room chair, mulling over how to approach you. he’d give you an apologetic smile, open up his arms.

and you’d shove him away, just like every other night.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T CHECK IN ON (Y/N)?! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SINCE I LEFT YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL” diluc’s voice boomed through the dawn winery.

“I WAS SCARED DILUC! I WAS TERRIFIED YOUD DISOWN HIM, JUST AS I WAS!” kaeya had fought back.

that shut diluc down, and so kaeya continued.

“ YOU UP AND LEFT HIM JUST AS MUCH AS I DID, DONT YOU DARE MAKE ME THE SOLE PERSON TO BLAME. WE BOTH FUCKED UP MAJORLY AND NOW THERES NO FIXING IT! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF EARLIER, HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF US ANYMORE” kaeya sobbed, salty tears soaked his cheeks and dropped onto the wood floors of the tavern.

both of them fell silent upon heading a third party enter the tavern…

“ he left.” was all venti spoke.

it was only just above a whisper, red strains in his eyes indicating tears had recently filled his vision not long beforehand.

“i didn’t stop him, he just picked up a bag, said his goodbyes to me and headed towards liyue. my best guess? he’s either headed towards inazuma to be as far away from this mess that you both have created, or he’s headed towards fontaine using liyues route, as an attempt to throw the both of you off his track.”

and then, the sounds of the dieties shoes exited the tavern.

the two contrasting brothers could only stare in utter disbelief at the bards words, but then,

they ran.

almost in sync with eachother they raced towards the manor i’m a rush unlike any other they had ran.

kaeya had never run so fast and diluc had never felt so ill. both of them could only pray to the gods above that there would be some form of evidence of your whereabouts once they arrived back at the manor.

and they were completely out of luck.

your bedroom had been destroyed beyond repair. diluc hadn’t entered your bedroom once since his return, in hopes to give you as much privacy as possible and kaeya hadn’t even entered the place since the fight.

your bedsheets were mauled, almost as if a boar had trampled on them. your clothes were everywhere, only your staple clothes seemed to no longer be in the room. notes upon notes with incomprehensible writings but obviously very emotional statements were scattered around them. your walls had marks and scratches from furniture denting them, plates and cutlery were stacked on your desk and finally,

you. you were gone.

for the first time 3 years, diluc held his brother as he broke down in your bedrooms floor, his own body suddenly to heavy for his legs to withstand.

and unfortunately for them, it would be a long time before they ever got to see you again.

you had finally made it to the entrance of the court of fontaine, only your bag in hand as well as a melusine next to you, guiding you to your new home that you had purchased with some of the mora you.. obtained while back in mondstadt.

“here it is! this apartment unit has been on the market for awhile considering it’s price! i’m surprised a foreigner was the one to claim it! all the furniture is already in the house, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. here’s the keys!” the ever so kind melusine handed to you.

not having the heart to be rude to such a sweet creature, you gave her a gentle smile and she skipped away. with a deep breath, you decided to head into your house..

or you tried to, anyways.

“hello there good sir! it’s lovely to meet you! we live close by and thought we’d introduce ourselves.” the hyperactive man in front of you spoke.

sighing to yourself internally, you decide it’s better to start off on a good foot over a bad foot when it came to your neighbours.

“my name is lyney, and this is my lovely twin sister lynette! we have a younger brother too, however he is currently out diving at the moment, so he couldn’t be here to greet you. both my sister and i would love to have you come to one of our shows that we’re performing in two days time! here’s a free ticket.” he winks to you, handing you a ticket, lyneys (seemingly reserved) sister only sighed at his antics.

“thank you.” you you muttered. “now may i please enter my house? i’d like to see it” you say with a.. slightly irritated tone, however neither of them payed much mind to it.

“of course, mon chéri! but only if you let us in for tea” he once again winked at you with a sly smile.

you knew should have just shut the door in his face when you had the opportunity…

#genshin #genshin x male reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x male reader #sibling hcs #angst #family hcs #male reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya x male reader #diluc x reader #diluc x male reader #some more venti bc he’s the reason i got into genshin and i love him to bits #lyney and lynette #lyney x reader #lyney x male reader #lynette

[angelwonie]

HIS SMILE || kim mingyu

PAIRING: mingyu x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 20.5k

GENRE(S): smut, fluff, slowburn, fake dating!au

SUMMARY: falling in love with your fake boyfriend isn't a good idea, and it's even worse if that fake boyfriend happens to be Kim Mingyu. but you just can't help it — he's got the prettiest smile you've ever seen.

WARNINGS: smut [unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), praise, size kink(!), overstimulation, fingering, manhandling, light dumbification] mingyu is strong...

“Oh, poor Y/N, you probably still haven't gotten yourself a boyfriend, have you?”

You can feel yourself tensing up at the words said by your colleague, Karina, her lips formed in a smile that completely contradicts the way she just spoke to you. She's acting as if it's just an innocent question, something she asked because she's genuinely curious – though you both know she said it to humiliate you, or maybe just to make you envy her for getting a loving boyfriend before you did. Either way, she's really getting on your nerves, and from what you can glimpse to the left, your best friend isn't very amused, either. 

“No, of course she hasn't. With all the college work, I doubt she has the time,” One of your other colleagues defends you, sensing the tense atmosphere, and you send her a thankful smile. 

“Right,” Karina says, a hint of amusement that very much pisses you off visible in her eyes. Her smile is so fake, it makes you want to throw up. “I’m glad I have my boyfriend, though, he's so lovely. Last night, when I came home, he'd prepared me homemade dinner and–”

You're growing more and more annoyed by the second when suddenly, Karina's monologue is cut off by your best friend's voice. And that relief that washes over you when Karina stops talking is wiped away the moment you hear what your friend has to say. 

“Y/N does have a boyfriend, actually.”

What. The. Actual. Fuck. What did she just say? Did you hear her right? Judging by your friends’ mouths that are hanging open, you probably did. And you surely look just as confused as them, because in all honesty, you do not have a boyfriend and one look in your best friend’s direction tells you she's already regretting her not thought-through actions. 

“What?” Karina asks finally, this time her tone much more unamused. Is her voice quivering? “You’re joking, right?”

One look at her scandalized expression is enough to make you realize that you can't back out now. Not if you don't want to see her condescending smile every day for the next twenty years. So just grin at them, sending your best friend a sideways glare as she starts rambling about your nonexistent boyfriend.

“Oh, we're not joking,” She assures them, and it takes all of your willpower to stop yourself from hitting her right then and there. “He’s handsome as hell and so kind. Oh, and he's really, really tall.”

“Oh my god, show us a picture, Y/N!” One of your colleagues exclaims and you're suddenly very aware that all of their attention is on you.

“A– A picture?” You look at your friend frantically, but apparently, this is the extent of her helpfulness, because she's looking everywhere but at you. Traitorous bitch. Why’d she spew so much nonsense if she isn't even going to take responsibility for it? “Right, let me find one real quick.”

This is bad. Really bad. And what makes it even worse, is that today, of all days, when you open your phone with trembling hands, the last picture in your camera roll isn’t a photo of you with any of your close friends like it usually is. It could’ve been Soonyoung or even Wonwoo, and just like that, you could’ve introduced one of them as your super handsome boyfriend. But no, fate clearly isn’t on your side today.

No, today, of all days, the last picture in your camera roll is of you and the one and only Kim Mingyu – a guy known on campus for both his looks and his outgoing personality. He's got all the girls swooning over him, and until recently, you've been all but silently admiring him when you're in school – letting your eyes fan over his frame when he plays soccer or resting your gaze on him for a little too long during an otherwise boring lecture. You finally got the chance to talk to him for the first time no earlier than yesterday, but only after making sure there’s enough alcohol in your system to flirt with him shamelessly. 

“Maybe you should give me your number,” You’d said as you were getting ready to leave, batting your eyelashes up at him. “You know, just so I don’t forget who to call when I need someone to change a lightbulb in my apartment.”

“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” He’d asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement and handing you your phone back, this time with his number in it.

“Of course I am,” You responded, mimicking his facial expression. “We should take a picture together, too.”

“Why? So you won’t forget my face?”

You smiled at his playful tone – or maybe simply at the sound of his voice. “No. So that you won’t forget mine.”

He chuckled – a sound you still haven’t forgotten even though you were drunk as hell when hearing it – and let you click a few photos, putting his arm around your shoulder as if he really was your boyfriend. And then, when you were looking through the pictures, you felt his eyes on you again – this time different from when you were talking earlier, more intense somehow. Meeting that gaze of his, you were almost worried your knees would give out from underneath you, but someway, you managed to stand on your feet long enough for you to see his lips forming into a small, yet sincere smile and for his arm to leave your shoulder, instead caressing your cheek.

For a moment, you were certain he was going to kiss you – with the way he was leaning forwards slowly, stroking your skin and making your heart beat faster than ever before. And just when you thought he was going to connect his lips to yours, he placed them dangerously close to your jaw instead, his voice low and distracting in your ear.

“I wouldn’t be able to forget such a pretty face even if I wanted to, sweetheart.”

Blame it on the alcohol, but his words quite literally made you go insane and you went home with a giddy smile on your face, happy with how things were going. Now, though, you're putting all of that at risk. 

Honestly, it's kind of your own fault. If you hadn’t decided to have a photoshoot with him while in your drunken state, you wouldn’t have ended up in this situation, with your phone clutched tightly in your hand, ah’s and oh’s leaving the mouths of your so-called friends as they look at the picture you’re showing them. A picture of you and Kim Mingyu, someone who is definitely not your boyfriend. 

“Your boyfriend’s really handsome, Y/N, I’m so jealous!”

Oh, God. This is truly the worst possible outcome of this whole situation, isn’t it? How does one go from finally piquing a handsome guy’s interest to lying about being in a relationship with him in less than 24 hours? 

“Oh, and by the way, Y/N, me and Karina are planning to go to her boyfriend’s soccer game this weekend. You and your boyfriend should come, too.”

You're thrown off guard by your colleague's question – they've never really invited you to things like that before. Guess you're much more interesting now that you have a tall, kind and handsome boyfriend. Correction: now that you're pretending to have a tall, kind and handsome boyfriend. Your friend is looking at you like she wants you to say no – even she is well aware that you're in a screwed-up position right now – but if you tell them you can't make it, you know that you'll be giving Karina exactly what she wants. And there's no way you're going to let her find out about this lie.

“Oh my god, really? We’d love to,” You say, mustering up a smile that turns real when you see the way Karina’s jaw is clenching. 

“See you on Saturday, then.”

—

Okay, so it did feel amazing to see the look on Karina’s face when you told her you have a boyfriend, but you didn’t exactly think it through when you agreed to bring him to the soccer game on Saturday. Because that means that now, you can’t keep this a secret from Mingyu anymore – you have to ask him to get involved. Which is why already an hour after you leave the cafe with your colleagues, you’re calling Kim Mingyu, asking him if he has ten minutes to spare.

“It’s urgent,” You practically beg him on the phone. 

“You missed me that much?” You can almost hear the smirk that’s planted onto his face, and it makes your heart skip a beat in your chest. Only once, though, before you realize you’re probably going to lose all chances of dating him soon enough. “Alright, I’ll be there in five minutes.”

And so here you are – sitting by a small table outside of a cafe, right across from Kim Mingyu. You're kind of just staring at him, stalling, because you're not sure how to tell him why you asked him to come. To your defense, it is a little embarrassing that you're here to ask him to be your fake boyfriend for a day. Much to your surprise, he's not saying anything, either, his eyes on you as you sit in silence. You can't really tell from his gaze whether he's amused or annoyed, but when the waiter brings you your drinks and you hand him his coffee, there is a small smile tugging at his lips and he tilts his head to the side. He's probably expecting you to speak now. 

So you clear your throat and open your mouth, ready to tell him everything. Only you never get that far, because suddenly he's the one speaking.

“You’re different today.”

“What?” You ask, dumbfounded. 

“You’re different than yesterday,” He says, smiling softly – as if more to himself than to you. “More nervous.”

Yeah, that's because there's no alcohol in my system, and you're ridiculously handsome, dumbass, you want to say. 

“I’m not nervous,” You say instead.

“Really? You look nervous,” He grins wider, pointing at the way you're fiddling with the rings on your fingers. Hearing him point it out, you stop immediately. Seeing your reaction, he adds: “Don’t worry, it's cute.”

And a wink. He’s winking at you. You hate him. So much. You hate him, and his stupid flirting, and his stupid smile, because right now, you're trying to ask him for a favour, and here he is, making you feel like there are thousands of butterflies swarming in your stomach. And you can't even look him in the eye, because you're sure that if you did, he would be able to see right through you and how you feel like you're about to faint. But then again, you can’t exactly blame him when you’re the one who told everyone he was your boyfriend.

“Um, okay, so either way,” You start, voice already trembling. “What I wanted to say is that I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend and go to a soccer game with me this weekend.”

As expected, Mingyu’s initial reaction is a very shocked ‘can you repeat that, please?’ and when you do, he raises his eyebrows, opening his mouth to say something. But you don’t let him, because you’re already utterly embarrassed and you just want to get this over with as fast as possible. So you let the words stream out of your mouth, and you explain everything – from how annoying Karina is to how truly sorry you are for dragging him into this whole mess. 

“And I’m really, really sorry, but it’s just like I can’t tell them it was a lie, because they’ll totally-”

You’re babbling and babbling, looking everywhere but Mingyu’s eyes as he interrupts you.

“Okay.”

Your head tilts upwards to look at him instinctively and you’re met with the sight of him resting his chin on his hand, his pearly teeth on display as he grins. “What?”

“Okay, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

“You’ll…”

“I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend so that your friends won’t find out you lied,” He repeats, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, before he leans closer to you over the table – an act that makes you pull back with heat rising to your cheeks. “But only on one condition. You have to pay for my meals for as long as we’re dating.”

“Fake dating,” You clear your throat and correct him as he leans back in his chair again, and he only smiles in response, which your heart apparently takes as a sign to start beating like crazy. Why the fuck is his smile so alluring? God really does have his favorites, doesn’t he? If he’s going to keep looking at you like that, this whole fake-dating might end pretty quickly with a heart failure. “Yeah, okay, I suppose that’s fair, since I only need you as my boyfriend until this Saturday.”

“Only until this Saturday?” He pouts and a smile creeps onto your features, despite your attempts at holding it back. “Alright, then, I’ll see you around, Y/N.” 

And he walks off, leaving you feeling a little too excited for someone who needs to pretend they’re dating Kim Mingyu.

—

Soccer. You know absolutely nothing about it, despite having ‘accidentally’ lost your way to the dorm and walked past the soccer field to watch Mingyu play countless times before. That’s why you tried doing research this morning – only that you were so uninterested that all you managed to memorize was that there are 11 players on each team. Way to go, Y/N. Now you’ll definitely impress Mingyu and fool everyone into thinking you’re dating someone who plays soccer. 

“You okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” You say as you see Mingyu’s worried expression. He's really cute when he's looking at you like that – like he cares for real, not just pretend. And that's probably what possesses you to tell him, of all people, why you're nervous. “Just a little stressed, because I know absolutely nothing about soccer, and I’m scared our relationship won’t seem believable.”

Why did you just say that? You literally wanted to impress him by pretending to be a soccer expert and now, you're straight up telling him you're clueless? Wow, you are doing a great job at making this whole thing more awkward than it already is.

“Why wouldn’t it?” Mingyu doesn't seem to mind what you told him though, looking more confused than annoyed. “Look, I’ve been watching my teacher explain algebra over and over again, but that doesn’t mean I get it.”

His words have you snorting with laughter and you can see his shoulders loosen up as he smiles. The look he's giving you is making something turn in your stomach – two days ago, you hadn't talked to him before, and suddenly, he's gazing at you as if you're the most interesting thing in the world. Is this how he gets all the girls to fall for him? If so, you totally understand them. 

“Besides, you don’t need to like all the things I like for me to like you.”

Okay, um, he didn't need to say it like that. You can't stop your head from whipping around to look at him again, heart beating quicker and quicker, so loudly you fear he might hear it. It's like everything is in slow motion – your body's burning up and he's smiling, unaware of how affected you are by what he said. And he looks stunning, with his hair falling onto his forehead, hands buried in the pockets of his jacket and a cap on his head. You hate caps. They're ugly and are only worn by middle schoolers. But Mingyu wears one, and somehow, it only makes your heart beat harder against your chest. 

You chuckle nervously to hide your flustered state, hoping to god you didn't stare at him in silence for too long. “Right, uh, we should get to our seats maybe.”

“Sure,” He smiles again (maybe they should ban smiling from now on, it's proven to cause heart palpitations) and puts his arm around your shoulders. Upon seeing your caught off guard expression, he adds: “We’re dating, remember?”

It's not like he's letting you forget, though. 

The seats Karina reserved are somewhere in the back, but since the stadium is huge and the seats are high up, you can pretty much see everything without much trouble. This is something Mingyu notices right away, completely discarding the idea of introducing himself first in order to praise your colleagues for their seat choice.

“Wow, these seats are great,” He says, gaining everyone's attention. From the corner of your eye, you can glimpse the way some of your friends’ mouths drop open. “Whoever picked them out must know their stuff.”

You can see the way Karina's face lights up at Mingyu’s words and it makes you want to throw up. Not only because she's getting on your nerves, but also because you feel a sting in your chest at the fact that Mingyu praised her. You have no right to feel that way – you're not dating him for real, after all – but it hurts just a little bit after what he said earlier. ‘Besides, you don’t need to like all the things I like for me to like you’. What a load of bullshit. 

“Aww, thank you,” You'd almost forgotten how fake her overly sweet voice sounds. “You must be Y/N’s boyfriend. I'm Karina, her friend since high school.”

Friend is a bit of an overstatement, for sure. All the two of you had in common in high school was crushing on the same guy. Which is, by the way, the guy who’s sitting next to Karina right now, fingers interlaced with hers. Seungcheol – someone you wasted three years of your life obsessing over, only for him to end up with Karina in the end. And you don’t realize how much of a grudge you still hold against him for choosing her over you before Mingyu finishes introducing himself, and it’s Seungcheol’s turn to smile in your direction. 

“Nice to finally meet you, I’m Seungcheol,” He tells your fake boyfriend, before his eyes land on your frame and you feel yourself tense up. “Hey, Y/N, long time no see.”

“Yeah, I guess,” You say with a forced smile, unwillingly taking a step back when he leans forward and holding your breath until you realize he’s just going to shake Mingyu’s hand. Sighing in relief as he sits back down, you silently curse yourself for acting so nervous around him. Still, you can’t help the way it’s like a blunt knife boring into your chest when you lock eyes with the man who cut off all contact with you the moment he met Karina. 

Lost in thought, you almost miss the way Mingyu’s grip tightens on your shoulders. Almost. 

You turn to send him an inquiring look, but he either doesn’t notice or he just brushes it off, and takes you to your assigned seats. He plops down between you and Seungcheol – deliberately or not, you don’t know, but it sure makes you feel more at ease and you relax in his grip. That’s when you realize he still hasn’t let go of your shoulders, and you’re suddenly very aware of how close he is. There’s still space between your bodies, but his knee is brushing over yours and you can smell his cologne clearly. It’s expensive, probably, but it’s not a strong or bold scent. Still, it’s a distinctive aroma – you’ve never smelt it before and yet, you’d have no problem recognizing it after today. 

The soccer game is boring, to say the least. You find yourself almost drifting off to sleep multiple times, and each time, you remind yourself that you’re sitting next to Kim Mingyu and he’ll most definitely be disgusted if you fall asleep and drool onto his shoulder. But even though you stay awake, you give up on watching the game about halfway, opting for looking at Mingyu instead. 

He’s much more entertaining than some random people kicking a ball, anyway. Besides, his expressions pretty much mirror the whole game. You can tell when his favorite team scores a goal by the way he grins from ear to ear, laughing to himself, and you can tell when a good player misses, because he scrunches his nose up and has this disappointed look in his eyes. That disappointment is so bleak that it has you thinking that whoever does something to make him look at them like that is just, plainly put, a bad person. Silently, you hope he’ll never look at you that way.

“You’re quite invested in this game,” You lean over to Mingyu, raising your voice a little so that he’ll hear you through the noise of cheering people.

“Well, of course I am,” He tears his gaze away from the game to look at you, but only for a moment, before he’s watching the players run across the field with excitement-filled eyes. “This game determines who gets to play in the finale.”

“Ah, I see,” You say and Mingyu doesn’t miss how you smile to yourself, lowering your head as you push your hair away from your face. It’s to no avail, though, because it keeps falling down anyway. He smiles to himself, too, at the scene, but looks away before your eyes can meet, seemingly focused on the game again. 

By the time the soccer game is finished, you’re pretty much bored to death – especially since for the past ten minutes, Mingyu has only been talking to Karina and her boyfriend. And for some reason, that makes you really mad. What can they say that’s so interesting? Maybe he should pretend to be Karina’s boyfriend instead, if he likes her so goddamn much. No, Y/N, what the hell? Fake dating has nothing to do with liking. It’s not like Mingyu is here because he likes you. No, he’s pretending to be your boyfriend, because… because, well, because you begged him to. And because you’re paying for his meals.

Still, it kind of angers you that Mingyu has the decency to smile like that at other people than you – since you’ve already been more exposed to heart problems because of that smile, shouldn’t it be reserved for only you? 

“I’m leaving,” You tell them, eager to get home and still caught up in that sense of betrayal – something you don’t really have a right to feel in this situation. But it’s not like you can control your emotions. “Bye.”

Locking eyes with Mingyu for a moment, you sigh before turning around to leave just as your colleagues eagerly say something you can’t quite pick up to your so-called boyfriend. You hear their goodbyes faintly in the background as you start walking down the stairs to the exit, starting to feel a little stupid for just walking away like that – if you didn’t, you could have left together with Mingyu. But he doesn’t seem to mind staying and talking to Karina, so why should you care? You’re starting to think he only agreed to fake date you because of this. 

“Hey, Y/N, wait up!” You hear a voice that undoubtedly belongs to none other than Kim Mingyu and it has you smiling before you can even turn around. God, you’re really starting to feel like those butterflies swarming in your stomach aren’t just from you being nervous about lying to your colleagues. 

You’re feeling so giddy that you don’t really look where you’re putting your feet as you turn around, which results in your foot slipping off of the stair step and you fall onto the stairs with a wince that leaves your mouth in response to the sharp pain that cruises through your ankle. You want to cry out for Mingyu, but before you can even gather your thoughts enough to do that, he’s already by your side, his dark eyes open wide as they scan your face.

“Are you okay?” He asks, but before you get to reply, his hands cup your face, squishing your cheeks together as he tilts your head to one side, then the other, studying you intently enough for heat to rise to your face. Jeez, why are you thinking about the fact that he’s touching you when you literally just fell down the stairs? You seriously need to get your shit together. 

“You’re not,” He decides finally, reaching out to wrap his arms around your waist, and you look up at him in disbelief, prompting him to add: “I’ll carry you.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer or anything, just lifts you up with one arm under your knees and the other under your back like it’s the easiest thing in the world. You think you can hear Karina shout something in the background, but you’re not sure, easily distracted by the feeling of warmth radiating off his body that is now closer to you than it’s been ever before. He’s just your fake boyfriend, but that doesn’t make the loud beating of your heart any less real from where you’re looking up at his focused face, thinking about whether he’s also feeling that small spark of electricity in his body when he touches you. 

“But I think I can walk, though,” You mumble against his shoulder, and mentally curse yourself for feeling your heart speed up when he looks down on you, his nose less than two centimeters from your own. His breath lands on your face, at which you turn away from him, just to calm your racing heart a little bit. 

“Why would you walk when I can carry you?” 

His tone is genuinely confused and you start to think that he must be completely oblivious to the many feelings that stir up inside of you when he starts walking through the alley leading back to the dorms. Words like that are enough to make someone fall in love and yet, he's just saying them like it's something obvious – like it's obvious that since you've hurt your ankle, he has to carry you back home. Even though you can walk. Even though you could take a cab. Even though he's not your boyfriend. 

He continues walking like nothing happened – because, as you've finally figured out, he probably doesn't think anything did happen – and you keep your head on his shoulder, feeling pretty miserable as you smell the scent of his shampoo clearly. You’re almost by the dorms when he suddenly stops, putting you down on a bench and telling you he’ll be right back before disappearing into some store, which you soon understand is a pharmacy. 

“I’ll pay you back,” You tell him the minute he walks out of the store with an elastic bandage in his hand.

“Don’t worry about it,” He says softly, but you wish he didn’t. Can’t he just let you win this one time? It’s like, every time you see him, he proves that he not only doesn’t have any flaws, but also that he has a lot of qualities you didn’t know about before. But what if you don’t want to know about them? It’s enough that he’s making your heart flutter when he’s pretending to be your boyfriend, but now nobody is watching, so why is he like this? Does he want you to fall in love with him?

If he continues acting like this, you fear that might actually happen.

You watch quietly as he kneels down and helps you take off your shoe, wrapping the bandage around it as if he’s done it a million times before. And you don’t say anything, afraid that if you do, you’ll start crying. Not because it hurts when he touches your ankle, but because he looks absolutely beautiful, face illuminated by the setting sun. You’ve seen him play soccer so many times, and each time, you’ve internally screamed about how hot he looked, but this is different. This time, you can’t take your eyes off of him – his brows furrowed in concentration, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. It’s all so humane, and yet so captivating to watch.

Before you can even stop yourself, your hand is alreading coming up to Mingyu’s face and pushing his bangs away from his face, and it’s not before he looks up that you freeze with your fingers touching his cheek, realizing what you just did.

“Your hair,” You blurt out, immediately pulling your hand back and feeling your body grow hot when you lock eyes with him. “It was in your eyes, so I just… sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” He tilts his head to the side, and you look down, pushing your own hair out of your face. 

You don’t answer his question – what are you supposed to say? Not even you know why you apologized. Wait, no, you do know. Because you feel like you’re treating something fake as if it’s real. But isn’t that exactly what he’s doing, too? He’s talking to you like he enjoys it, putting a bandage onto your ankle and worrying about whether or not you are hurt. And none of it seems fake when he does it. Oh, you’re definitely going crazy. Good thing this whole arrangement is over now. 

Right. It’s over. With all the stuff that has been going on, you totally forgot that your deal ended right after the soccer game. There’s no reason for you to see Kim Mingyu ever again. You can just cleanse your mind completely, starting tomorrow. 

“Don’t you have any hair ties?”

Mingyu’s voice makes you look up in confusion, only to see him sitting right next to you on the bench. “Sorry?”

“Your hair keeps falling into your face, too,” He points out. “You should put it up.”

“Oh, I don’t really like putting my hair up,”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, it’s just… I feel like it looks bad on me.”

You feel his gaze on you again, lips pushed in a pout and he looks at you like he’s examining a soccer game. Which partly makes you feel uneasy, but mostly, you’ve grown to enjoy being the center of his attention. Which is dumb. Because he’s just talking to you since you promised to pay for his meals. 

“That makes no sense,” He decides finally with a smile. “It’s common knowledge that if you have a pretty face, you should put it on display for everyone to see, you know.” 

“What kind of bullshit is that?” You scoff, feeling something turn in your stomach. Pretty face. He’s evil for saying it, but you’re the one at fault for feeling like you’re about to float into the air at his words. 

“It’s not bullshit,” He protests. “But it made you smile, so you can think whatever you want. As long as you stop walking around grumpy, because it’s making me feel uneasy.”

“Why is it making you feel uneasy?”

“Because I prefer it when you smile,” He grins, before standing up from the bench. “Come on, we should get going. It’s dark already.” 

One look to the sky is enough to make you realize that it is, in fact, already dark, so you grab Mingyu’s outstretched hand and you let him pick you up, this time placing you on his back instead. You wrap your legs around his waist, resting your chin on his shoulder – justifying it by saying that it’s the last time you can enjoy being this close to him. Which is true, but it still doesn’t justify how you’re drinking in his scent and the sound of his breath as if you’re trying to memorize it.

“Are you sure you can carry me all the way to campus?” 

“Yes, of course,” He says before bringing one arm up to flex his biceps. “I’m a strong boy.”

You chuckle at his antics, taking the opportunity to bury your head in his neck, feeling how goosebumps spread all over his skin when your nose brushes over it. “You’ve been a good fake boyfriend, you know. Thank you for doing this.”

“What?” You hear Mingyu’s confused tone. “Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. Karina asked if you and I wanted to join them for bowling tomorrow.”

You sigh. “And what did you tell her?”

“That we would come,” He says and upon seeing your expression, he’s quick to add: “I mean, what else was I supposed to say? That we’re planning on breaking up tomorrow?”

You sigh miserably, knowing that he’s right. It’s not like he could say anything else. 

“Are you mad?” He asks after a while, and you ponder for a bit on that question.

Are you mad? Yeah, you are. But after some thought, you realize you’re not mad that you’re going bowling or that you have to keep pretending that Mingyu is your boyfriend – you’re mad because this means you no longer have an excuse for the way you feel happy in his company, or the way you’re tightly holding onto his shoulders right now. Because it’s not the last time you get to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to see his face, and yet you’re looking at him as if it is. And you have a feeling you’re starting to figure out exactly why that is.

“No,” You reply finally. “Just tired.”

Yeah. Sleep will fix everything. It has to.

—

Sleep doesn’t fix anything at all.

If anything, it makes everything worse, because you dream about Mingyu and his godforsaken smile that he bestows upon you right before he leans down to press his lips to yours. And that’s when you wake up, feeling more miserable than ever. Now you’re really starting to wonder why the fuck you thought it was a good idea to start fake-dating your crush. 

God, Y/N, get your shit together. Are you really so weak that you can’t spend two hours in Mingyu’s presence before you start dreaming about him? In all honesty, though, it’s not your fault that he looks so pretty when he smiles. And when he doesn’t. 

“Shut the fuck up,” You mumble to yourself as you get up. 

Today is going to be a long day.

“Where are the others?” Is the first thing you ask Mingyu when you arrive at the bowling center, where he’s sitting alone on a chair by the bowling track. Your only solace when you thought about meeting Mingyu again and having to deal with his painfully handsome face, was that the two of you wouldn’t be alone, and yet somehow, you’re the two first to arrive.

“Not here yet,” He says, looking up from his phone and pushing his hair back to look at you. “You walked all the way here?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You shouldn’t be walking long distances when your ankle is hurt,” He points out and you press your lips together into a thin line – it’s 1pm and he’s already making your insides turn to mush. Great. “Sit down at least, if you’re gonna be so stubborn.”

You nod and do as you’re told, looking everywhere but at Mingyu. Maybe if you don’t look at his face, you can stop this stupid crush from turning into something worse. It’s naive, but it’s better than having your heart flutter at the smallest of things. Like when he ran his fingers through his hair earlier – why the hell did you get goosebumps from that? You must be out of your mind. 

“Do I make you feel uncomfortable or something?” Mingyu asks suddenly, and it makes you really feel bad for acting like that. It’s not like he’s making you feel like this on purpose. “It’s like you don’t want to look at me.”

Oh, you do want to look at him. You just know better than to hurt yourself like that.

You sigh and turn to him, resting your chin on your hand. “Is this better?”

“Much better,” He smiles cheerfully in return. 

“You’re so full of yourself.” 

And rightfully so, you think to yourself as he giggles softly, before opening up a bottle of water and putting it up to his lips. You’re wishing you never turned to look at him again, because the way the sleeves of his shirt have rolled up to reveal his arms should be illegal. You can see the way his muscles flex as he opens the bottle, the way his jaw and neck are on display when he tilts his head backwards to drink. The way his soft lips wrap around the mouth of the bottle has your mind reeling with images of him kissing you like that, and since the vision is making your whole body heat up, you turn your eyes away, searching for something else to focus on.

You find that ‘something’ on the table in front of you – there’s another bottle of water there and you decide it’s a good distraction, so you reach for it. Everything goes well until you’ve tried to open it three times and the cork doesn’t even move an inch. What the fuck?

“You need help with that?”

Mingyu’s looking at you with a hint of amusement in his eyes, hands already taking the bottle from you without waiting for a proper answer. You give up on protesting and silently sit back, watching the veins on his hand become more apparent as he opens the bottle with ease, before handing it back to you with a satisfied grin on his face. It’s obvious in the way he’s looking at you that opening the bottle for you boosted his ego, and it makes you roll your eyes.

“You don’t have to look so happy, you self-obsessed idiot.”

“Who are you calling self-obsessed?” He pouts, suddenly leaning forward and pinching your cheeks – something that makes your heart beating stop for a good five seconds. “I just wanted to help my cute baby out.”

“I’m not your–”

“Oh my god, you two are so freaking cute!” You’re interrupted by a voice that undoubtedly belongs to one of your colleagues who just walked in, Karina and Seungchoel in tow. Taking it as a sign, you pull away from Mingyu, feeling your heart beat so hard that you’re scared it’s going to beat out of your chest. What the hell just happened? “Sorry we’re late, we missed the bus.”

The fact that you’re not alone with Mingy anymore allows you to pull yourself together a bit, and you’re happy to see that he’s leading the conversation without asking you for any input. Soon enough, Karina wants to start bowling, and you’re divided into three groups – Karina with her boyfriend, Mingyu with you, and your two other colleagues with each other. You’ve never bowled before, which makes you extremely nervous – maybe the fact that Mingyu is watching you plays a part in that, too – and as expected, you totally miss the bowling skittles when you let go of the ball. 

You can hear Karina giggle in the background, which makes you sit down, discouraged. Plopping down next to Mingu, you don’t really pay attention to who’s playing, more focused on counting down the time until you can go home, already tired of all this. You’re so lost in your own thoughts that you almost don’t notice Mingyu’s hand that he rests on your upper thigh. Almost. In an instant, you’re turning to look at him in disbelief, but it’s a bad idea, because he was leaning towards you, too, to whisper something in your ear. 

You freeze in your seat, and so does he, the rest of the world suddenly drowned out. The only sound hitting your ears is his breath, and it’s like everything is moving in slow motion – his dark brown eyes staring into yours, large hand brushing over the skin on your thigh, his skin flushing a delicate shade of pink. You can barely register your own nervousness as you look at his lips – usually turned up in a smile, but right now they’re slightly parted, no trace of cockiness to be seen anywhere. Is it bad that you really want him to kiss you right now? It is, and it’s even worse that you can’t even deny it anymore. 

You should pull away, look away, do something – anything. But you can’t. You’re just looking into his eyes like there’s no one else in the room, letting that warm feeling that stirs up inside of your chest grow. 

“What I wanted to say was that you don’t have to get upset over what Karina says or does,” Mingyu finally whispers, licking his lips and clearing his throat as he breaks eye contact. “Her opinion doesn’t matter.”

You nod slowly, wondering why he looked away – is he nervous, like you? Kim Mingyu and ‘nervous’ are words that you’d never place together in a sentence, but now, he really seems a little hesitant, or maybe even shy. You don’t know. Oh, why is he always so hard to figure out? First, he’s flexing his muscles at you and calling you his baby, and then he’s looking away when you lock eyes with him? His middle name should be ‘mixed signals’ at this point.

“Mingyu, it’s your turn.” It’s Seungcheol’s voice that forces you to turn your attention elsewhere, and you’re half-relieved, half-angry as you watch Mingyu rise up from his seat and take the bowling ball into his hands. Your thigh feels kind of cold without his hand resting on it.

As expected, Mingyu is really good at bowling – just as he is good at everything else – and it seems that his usual mood is back, because before he throws the ball, he’s lifting it up with one arm to show everyone how strong he is, and sending you a wink. It’s just for show, but it still sends a spark of electricity through your body. Though that still doesn’t compare to the way you’re basically drooling over him as he bowles. Hey, it’s not your fault that he looks fucking hot in that black shirt that folds up just enough to reveal a centimetre or two of his abs as he jumps up in thriumph. 

What catches your attention, though, is how you’re not the only one shamelessly staring at Mingyu – Karina seems to be just as drawn to him, looking at him as if he’s her next meal or something. What the hell? You’d think that since she’s got a boyfriend, she’d stay away from someone she thinks is your boyfriend. Once a bitch, always a bitch, you think to yourself as you see her smile flirtatiously at Mingyu when he looks at her for a moment. Okay, that’s enough. 

You stand up, pretty much making all of your colleagues look at you with furrowed brows and walk up to Mingyu just as he’s about to pick up another ball. Surprising both him and yourself with your actions, you grab ahold of his arm, pulling him closer to you. 

“We should get going,” You say to everyone, throwing a fake smile Karina’s way before you stomp out of the bowling center, dragging a very confused Mingyu with you.

Once you’ve stepped outside and gotten a breath of fresh air, it dawns on you that your fingers are still wrapped around Mingyu’s biceps – as wrapped around as they can be, anyway, because for them to fit all the way around his arm, your fingers would have to be like five times longer. You retract your hand as you realize you’re touching him, not even sparing him a glance when you start walking home. Maybe it’s because you feel embarrassed for dragging him away like that, or maybe you don’t want him to see how upset you are, but you figure it’s best if you walk away from him. 

“Hey!” You hear his voice, and not even two seconds later, his fingers are closing around your wrist, forcing you to stop walking. “You okay? What was that about?”

And that’s it for not having this conversation right now, you suppose. You turn around to face him, sighing. 

“Did you really not see how Karina was looking at you?” You ask him and when he furrows his brows in confusion, you groan. “She was totally staring at you for twenty minutes, at least. Like she wanted to eat you or something. Did you really not notice?”

“No,” He shakes his head.

“Wow, you really are ignorant,” You laugh bitterly. Great, so he's probably not even aware that his actions can make someone's heart beat faster, or that the things he does make him seem like he's interested in you. “You’re seriously so unaware of everything.” 

“Well, I’m aware that you’re jealous.”

“Excuse me?” You blink in surprise and he just flashes you a grin before starting to walk down the sidewalk. Does he really not realize he's making you want to rip your hair out? Or maybe he does, and he's just preying on your downfall. Either way, you conclude that you should get rid of him as soon as possible. “Mingyu, wait, you're walking too fast.”

Oh, well. Maybe you're not as strong-willed as you thought.

“It’s not my fault your legs are so short,” He says, but waits for you nevertheless, and adjusts his pace so that he's walking next to you. His hands are in his pockets, a smile on his face and the way his muscles are illuminated by the sunlight has you fighting for your life. “You’re small and cute, though, so I'll forgive you.”

“Do you have a size kink or something?” 

You regret saying that as soon as the words leave your mouth, because now you're not only flustered from when he called you cute, but your mind is also reeling with the thought of him being turned on by you being smaller than him. Which is absolutely wrong of you to think about, since you're not even in a real relationship with the guy. So why are you suddenly feeling a little faint when you look at his strong arms and hands big enough to cover your whole face? And why are you dying to feel them on you?

He's about to reply to your question, when suddenly, you can see his eyes fan to something behind you, and soon enough those arms you were drooling over are grabbing you by your shoulders and he's practically throwing you to the other side of the sidewalk. It's because a car was driving close to the pavement, you realize, and it's such a touching gesture that it makes your heart beat quicker. But you can't even focus on that for too long, because soon enough, you're thinking about the way he basically manhandled you and how badly you want him to do it again. 

Oh. My. Fucking. God. What is wrong with you, Y/N? He's just being a kind person and you're not only developing a crush on him, no, now you're also thinking about fucking him. Talk about the worst fake-dating experience ever.

“Doesn’t he know how to drive or what?” You hear Mingyu mumble and it takes you a second to realize what he's talking about, and another to realize you're staring. Hopefully he didn't notice. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Of course he noticed. 

“Like what?” You decide to play dumb and start walking again. 

“Like that,” He emphasizes. “Like you want to eat me or something.”

He's just teasing you, you realize as soon as he repeats what you'd said earlier about Karina. He probably doesn't even realize just how right he is. And he doesn't need to realize it, either, you think to yourself as you roll your eyes at him to hide your nervousness. Or maybe there's a chance he feels like that, too? He did push you aside so he was the one walking on the dangerous side of the pavement, after all. And he put his hand on your thigh. And smiled at you. And looked at you as if you were the only girl in the world. And–

No. You need to stop doing that to yourself. He's your fake boyfriend, he needs to do these things. But most of these occurrences happened when the two of you were alone.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Mingyu asks suddenly and you whip your head around to look at him.

“Studying for my math exam at the library with Wonwoo. Why? Did Karina ask for us to go somewhere with her again?”

“No. Why with Wonwoo, though?” 

“Because he’s good at math?” You say, eyeing his clenched jaw cautiously. “Why’re you asking?”

“No reason.”

And then he just walks in silence. Why is he suddenly so quiet? Is he jealous? Is it bad that you hope he is? Probably. But you can't help it. You’re so caught up in imagining a jealous Mingyu that you don’t even realize you’ve arrived at campus before you see the school fountain right in front of you, and the university building behind it. It’s still quite early, and the sun lights up the flower-filled grass in a way that makes it look really magical. You smile to yourself at the sight, and turn to look at Mingyu, but he’s nowhere to be seen. For a second, your smile drops, before you feel a hand on your shoulder and Mingyu’s face is smiling down on you, a small, yellow flower in his hand. He must’ve picked it just now. 

“Boo,” He says softly, and it’s like he casts some sort of spell over you, because suddenly, you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from him, even as his hot breath fans over your face and spreads goosebumps all across your skin. 

“It’s pretty,” You tell him. It’s about the flower, you think to yourself, but it’s really not.

A second passes. Then two. He doesn’t move. He’s just looking at you, his eyes fan over your lips, your nose, then they stare into yours. Deeply. Warmly. Ardently. You don’t want to look away, so you don’t. And neither does he. Six seconds. Seven. He leans in – you can hear him breathe. Or maybe it’s the sound of your own breath? It’s all mixed now, intertwined. Eight, nine, ten. His hand touches your jaw. It burns, but in the best way possible. You don’t want this to end. Fifteen seconds have passed. His fingers tuck something behind your ear. The flower. It’s the flower. Eighteen. Nineteen. A smile that makes you melt.

“Yeah,” He whispers, finger grazing your cheek before he pulls away. “Really pretty.”

And then it’s just complete silence, except for the sound of your heart loudly banging against your chest. Boom. Boom. Boom. You’re in love. 

—

You’ve always felt perfectly content with having a silent, one-sided crush on Kim Mingyu, but now that you’ve gotten a taste of who he is, it’s hard not to wish for something more. Even though you know it’s not going to happen. 

That's what you're thinking about the next day as you sit in the library with Wonwoo, a math book full of things you don't understand in front of you. You've been sitting like this for an hour, and Wonwoo has already filled three pages in his notebook with math assignments, while yours remain empty. Mingyu has been occupying your mind ever since you parted ways yesterday, the way he put the flower in your hair playing on repeat in your thoughts. 

The flower. Oh, you must be crazy, but you could swear that you saw a hint of emotion in his eyes as he looked at you, something that sparked up a hope that you might just have a chance with him. Maybe he has feelings for you, too.

Just as you're thinking about that, your phone buzzes with a message and you pick it up instantly in hopes that it's Mingyu. It's not. 

Hi would u and Mingyu like to come along on a trip w me and Cheol this weekend? We’re going to the seaside resort :)

“Of course you're going to the fucking seaside resort,” You mutter under your breath, catching Wonwoo’s attention.

“What was that?” When you shake your head, he sends you a smile and doesn't press any further. For some reason, that makes you feel out of place. He's so different from Mingyu, who would've definitely investigated you by now. You find yourself missing that, missing him, even though you shouldn't. “Do you want to take a small break and go grab something to eat?”

“Yeah, sure,” You agree, because it'll definitely be good for you to stop focusing so much on Mingyu and the feelings you've developed for him. But right as you're done packing your things, the doors to the library are, to the librarian's dismay, thrown open with a thud and in walks the only person you know who wouldn't care (or know) that you're supposed to stay quiet in a place like this.

“Y/N!” Mingyu’s loud voice tears through the silence, and many students raise their heads to look at what the hell is going on. Some look utterly confused, with their mouths hanging open, and you suppose you look the same as you watch a man who last read a book in middle school walk into the library. “There you are. You guys done studying?”

“I– Uh, no,” You say, suddenly very nervous. “We were going to take a break and eat something. But what are you doing here? I thought you hated the library.”

“I still do, this place is awful,” He frowns for a moment, but not even a second later his signature smile is back on his face. “But I wanted to help you study.”

He what? That just sounds strange coming out of his mouth. Not to mention the way it makes butterflies go crazy in your stomach. One thing is Kim Mingyu flirting with you, and pretending to be your boyfriend – another is him suddenly offering to study in the library with you, even though you know he hates it. Especially since he doesn't have to. It's not like he has to pretend to be your boyfriend right now. 

“You… wanted to help her study?” It's Wonwoo that speaks up first, his eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Yeah, can't I do that?” Mingyu’s voice is soft, but his eyes that have settled on Wonwoo’s frame emit some kind of coldness that you’ve never seen in them before. Wonwoo seems to sense this, too, because his gaze fans to you and he smiles under his breath at Mingyu’s behavior. “We can go get food later, Y/N, let's finish studying first, okay?”

“But Wonwoo wanted to–”

“Oh, it’s fine, I’ll get food by myself,” Wonwoo says reassuringly and you can glimpse the way Mingyu’s shoulders loosen up as your friend picks up his bag. “I finished the homework earlier, and, to be honest, it doesn’t look like I’m wanted here.” 

And with a wink sent Mingyu’s way, he walks away, leaving you alone with the boy you’ve both been dying and dreading to see. His bangs are in his face – his hair is messy, his eyelids are drooping and his shirt is creased. He must’ve just gotten up from bed, which is such a Mingyu-thing to do, considering it’s already way past noon. Nobody sleeps that long. Nobody except him. Just like nobody except him can make you smile just by simply existing – just by standing next to you in sweatpants, with a can of Redbull in his hand. Looking way out of place, but staying anyway. 

“Hey,” You say it more like a question, but Mingyu doesn't seem to notice that as he sits down by the table where you and Wonwoo were studying earlier. 

“Hey,” He replies and takes a sip of his drink – which, by the way, he's not allowed to have at the library. Though you don’t suppose he cares, since his wide smile is back on his features again, like it never left. “You ready to study?”

You sit down on the chair to his right, feeling your lips spread in a small smile at the way Mingyu’s all up in your business again – even if it mean he’s making your stupid little crush even worse by just being close to you. That thought seems so distant, though, when you see him grin at you cutely despite the tiredness in his face. 

“I am,” You say, getting out your notebooks again. “But I have trouble believing you’re here to study.”

“You got me,” He raises his arms in resignation, flashing his teeth at you as he’s leaning back in his chair. “I’m just here to watch you study and be of moral support.” 

“Right,” You say, eyeing him cautiously. “I don’t think today’s your working day, though, fake boyfriend. It’s not like Karina can see us here.” 

“So?” 

‘So’? What the hell is that supposed to mean? One look at his face is enough to tell you he’s well aware that today, he doesn’t have to hang out with you. And yet he’s right here, in the library of all places, sitting next to you like it’s the most natural thing to do. Does that mean he genuinely likes to spend time with you? 

“So, you are free to leave,” You give him another chance, just in case he’s starting to realize his mistake, though if he left now, you’re not sure whether you wouldn’t just have started crying your eyes out.

“Do you want me to leave?”

He must be dumb for real, you think to yourself as you catch his softly curious gaze. There’s something in his eyes you can’t quite put a finger on – if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was feeling apprehensive to hear the answer. Which isn’t possible, obviously, because Mingyu doesn’t care what people think of him, and he certainly doesn’t give a shit if you tell him to leave. He’ll just find another girl to flash his smile at. Still, something in his gaze tells you not to joke around right now, so you speak your mind.

“No, I don’t,” You can’t help but mimic his actions when he grins and that weird look in his eyes disappears, but before he can start shouting, you add: “But that doesn’t mean you get to bother me while I work. I don’t want to hear a single word from you until I’m done with this assignment.”

“You’re so cruel,” He pouts but shuts up, picking up some random book from the nearby shelf and burying his nose in it. 

You sigh in content, turning your attention to your mathbook. Now you'll really get to work. 

You don’t really get to work, though. Thirty minutes have passed without a single equation being written down in your notebook and it’s all Mingyu’s fault. Technically, he’s not bothering you at all as you work, his eyes firmly planted in the book in his hands. And still, you can’t seem to concentrate at all when he’s sitting next to you, with his long fingers gently tapping the wooden table as his eyes fan over one page, then the other, and he’s bringing his hand up to turn to the next page. 

He doesn’t do any of this elegantly at all – truly, his grip on the page is way too rough, folding the paper each time he turns it over and his eyes keep fanning back up to a previous sentence he didn’t quite catch because he zoned out. It’s painfully obvious he hasn’t read a book willingly before in his life, and yet, somehow, he manages to look utterly beautiful while doing it. His whole existence is a threat to your sanity, you conclude, looking away. You can’t afford to have him notice your staring.

Not even ten minutes later, just as you’ve finally calmed yourself down enough to fill half a page of math problems (the only obstacle in your way being the hair that keeps falling into your face) this temporary peace of mind is torn away from you in an instant when you feel a featherlight touch on your neck, making your head snap up in surprise. 

There are goosebumps forming on your skin when your eyes meet Mingyu’s sheepish smile, his fingers caressing the back of your neck as he gathers your hair in his hands. For a moment, you can’t seem to form words, taken aback by this close proximity, your heartbeat loud in your ears. Then, slowly, you start breathing again. 

“What–”

“Shh,” He cuts you off, as if you didn’t just have to sit there regaining your breath just to ask him the question he’s not letting you ask. “Don’t get distracted. I’m just putting your hair up.”

Just. So this is, like, normal for him? He puts every girl’s hair up in a ponytail when hair falls in her face? That explains why he owns a hair tie. 

“Where did you get that hair tie?” You ask him, a little accusingly, as he finishes putting your hair up in a ponytail.

“At the store? That’s where they usually sell hair ties, you know.” 

“Yeah, but like, why do you have it? It’s not like you need it.”

“No, but you do,” Upon seeing your unconvinced expression, he sighs. “I saw it at the convenience store today, and it made me think of you and how your hair is always falling into your eyes because you won’t put it up, so I bought it. Now you have a hair tie and I get to hang out with you more because you can finish your assignment quicker. It’s a win-win situation, really.” 

For a second you’re left just blinking dumbly, feeling a little giddy for no reason at all. He bought it for you? He thought of you at the convenience store? Is this the part where you start jumping up and down, giggling? No, Y/N, calm down. It's not like he confessed his love for you, either. But you suppose it's close enough. 

“Idiot,” You tell him with a smile so big it makes your cheeks hurt. “Why would you waste your money on that?”

“It’s not a waste, it's a gift. Now finish your assignment, I'm getting bored.”

And as if to prove his point, he leans back in his chair with his eyes closed, resting his arms behind his head. There's nothing extraordinary about the action, and yet it makes something turn in your lower stomach when his shirt rides up a few centimeters to let you catch a glimpse of his abs. His biceps are on full display, too – flexed because of the position he's in, and big. There's no doubt he's spent some time in the gym and God, it shouldn't be legal to look this good because now you're imagining him working out, drenched in sweat and shirtless and it's absolutely not good for your health. 

“Oh, right,” You say to Mingyu, suddenly reminded of something. “Karina and Seungcheol want us to come with them to the seaside resort this weekend.”

“We should go, then,” Mingyu opens his eyes and rests his chin on his hand. “Right?”

“Probably,” You sigh. “It’s the whole weekend, though. Friday evening to Sunday morning. Two nights at the hotel. It seems a little redundant.”

“I don't mind. I don't have anything else to do, anyway.”

You raise your brows in suspicion. “Kim Mingyu doesn't have anything to do on a Friday night except spend time with his fake girlfriend at a seaside resort? I'm finding that a little hard to believe.”

“Yeah, okay, correction: I don't have anything else I'd rather do on a Friday night than spend time with my fake girlfriend at a seaside resort.”

In contrast to his usual playful smile, he's looking quite serious as he says that and you wonder if he means it. You read into the things he says a little too much, you know that, but it's not like it's completely baseless for you to think that he might like you. Oh, this is all so fucking complicated. Fake boyfriend, real boyfriend – where does one draw the line? He is only pretending to date you, so why do his smiles feel so genuine? Why does it feel real when he tells you you’re pretty? 

If he's only your fake boyfriend, why are you in love with him for real? 

“Great. I'll tell Karina we're coming, then.”

——

You are not going to let yourself be affected by Mingyu and his actions today. Not even in the slightest bit. You can’t afford to get your hopes up. Besides, staying indifferent can’t be that difficult, right? He’s not that interesting. His smile isn’t that alluring, either, if you really think about it – there’s nothing fascinating about the way his eyes turn upwards when he grins, pure elation radiating off of him. Nope, you don’t care about him and his stupid smile at all. That’s what you keep repeating in your mind on the way to the seaside resort, knowing damn well it must be the worst lie to have ever been told. 

It’s fine, it’s fine. Even if he does affect you and your heartbeat rate, you can still keep it a secret. You’ve been doing it for the past weeks, so why not this weekend, too? This weekend and you’re done – you and Mingyu part ways once and for all. Sure, you’ll feel miserable without seeing his smile, but it’ll pass after a week. Or seventeen years.

Shit. You’re so fucked. 

And you realize you’re even more fucked than you thought as you enter the hotel at which you’re supposed to be staying at, only to find Seuncheol and Karina already standing in the hallway. But they're not the reason you're fucked. No, the reason is standing next to them in a white, form-fitting shirt and his laugh echoing off the walls. 

Mingyu’s back is turned to you, but it brings you little relief, since you can clearly still see the outline of his back muscles through the thin material of his shirt. It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say he looks godly, and neither would it be an overstatement to say that, no matter how bad you try not to, you can’t help but literally devour him with your eyes from where you’re walking towards them slowly. Partly, you dread the moment they’ll notice you, because you’ll be forced to look not only at Mingyu’s exposed forearms but also his ridiculously handsome face. And even as you prepare yourself for the moment, you still find yourself feeling a little dizzy when Mingyu turns around to look at you.

“Y/N, you’re here,” He says, and the excitement laced in his voice is just a little too real for you to completely get rid of the idea that it’s not just pretend. “I missed your pretty face.”

He then proceeds to trap you in his arms, muffling out all sounds of Seungcheol and Karina laughing as he pulls you flush against his chest. You can’t breathe for a moment – not because his grip is too tight, but because you realize that fuck, you’re actually being hugged by Kim Mingyu right now and it feels way too comforting for your own good. The scent of his cologne hits your nose – it’s the same one he used at the football game, the same distinctive smell that officially belongs to him now – and the warmth of his skin actually works to calm down your heart a little. It’s a contrast to how you usually react to being close to him, but you don’t mind, because this feeling of solace brings you equally as much glee. 

“I missed you, too,” You mumble against his chest, and it’s not a lie at all. “But can you please let go of me? You’re crushing my ribs.” 

“Ah, right,” He chuckles, and when he lets go of you, the whole world falls back into place – reminding you why you’re here and that you’re not alone. “Sometimes I forget how small and cute you are.” 

You scoff in response, feeling your whole body heat up.

One would think you’d get used to these dumb comments after coming dangerously close to heart failure because of him more times than you can count the past weeks. But no, it still affects you all the same and makes your insides turn to mush, even if Karina and Seungcheol are standing right there, which means that his words are most likely just for show. 

It's the weekend, though, and you've been living in a constant state of overthinking the past week, so you don't suppose it's that much of a big deal if you sit back a little and let yourself feel happy when Mingyu shows you affection. It's inevitable, anyway, since you’re in love with the guy. In love. It sounds so serious when you put it like that. And one look at his smiling face reminds you that it is. 

“So,” Karina clears her throat, gaining your attention. “We should check into our rooms now, and then we can go for a walk and ice cream later?” 

Everyone agrees, and so you head to the reception desk in pairs – Karina holding Seuncheol’s hand, and you with Mingyu next to you, your shoulders just barely touching. You get the keys to your room and thank the lady – Mingyu does so with a wide grin that probably just made that woman’s day much better – before you start heading upstairs. There’s only one problem, though – you’ve brought three bags along and now that your uber isn’t helping you carry them, you feel like you’re about to faint from taking three steps with them in your hands – not to mention you have to walk up the stairs with them. 

“I’ll carry those for you,” You hear Mingyu’s voice, and before you can utter a word, he’s taking the bags from you with a smirk. “I’m your strong boyfriend, after all.”

You can’t even bring yourself to protest as he starts walking up the stairs with your and his bags, muscles flexed. Your eyes must linger on his arms a little too long, because soon enough, he’s sending you a shit-eating grin and lifting your bags up and down like they’re weights at the gym. It’s a joke – he’s teasing you – and yet it’s making you feel all hot and bothered. God, you must be crazy. Half-embarrassed, you avert your gaze in order to calm your heart down before it beats out of your chest. 

“You’re enjoying yourself a little too much for someone who’s carrying four heavy bags up a shitload of stairs, don’t you think?” You try to sound composed, but it doesn’t really work. 

“Not at all,” He smiles – you weren’t supposed to look, but it’s not your fault that whenever you hear his voice, all of your attention is on him – yet it doesn’t hide the way his face is reddening and his voice is strained, arms starting to shake just a little from the weight. 

You can’t help but burst into laughter at both his face and his stubbornness – that boy would seriously rather die than admit he overestimated his strength. He doesn’t laugh with you, just sends you a glare and pouts as he finally sets down the bags in your shared room as the two of you arrive. No matter how hard he tries, though, he can’t erase the hint of enjoyment that lies in his gaze. 

It takes Mingyu less than two seconds to plop onto the soft bed and sigh dreamily, like he’s just ran a marathon. 

“Just don’t fall asleep. We’re going for ice cream in half an hour, you know.” 

“Hmm.”

“If you fall asleep, I won’t wake you up,” You warn him, ignoring the way your heart is doing loops at the sight of his sleepy state. He looks so cute with a sheepish smile on his face, nose buried in the pillows. 

He doesn't react in any way, so you add: “Are you really that exhausted from just carrying my luggage?”

That, he hears very well. 

“Of course I’m not,” He jumps up straight away, like someone poured cold water all over him and you can't help but smile to yourself at the way he's – way too obviously – flexing his muscles for you to see. 

“I was just joking, Mingyu,” You tell him, walking over to where he's standing, by the bed. “You’re very strong.”

And before you can think twice, you put your hand on his bicep and squeeze it through the shirt. It takes you less than a second to do that, and another second for your mind to start malfunctioning. Oh, fuck. One, you just touched Mingyu’s biceps. Two, they're big. Big, as in you realize you can't even wrap your fingers halfway around them. Big, as in if he were to hold you in place, there was no way you'd be able to move. 

And finally, three, this one little touch is enough to have you feeling weak in the knees, unable to think of anything but the way his muscles felt under your fingertips. You can't stop yourself from imagining how they would feel without that shirt separating your skin from his, either. Oh, you've really dug your own grave with this one. 

“You think I’m strong?” Mingyu’s voice is soft, but his gaze is intense as you look up at him. 

“I– I mean you carried my bags up the stairs, didn't you?”

“Sure did,” He smiles and for a moment, you think you're safe. “But you didn't have to touch me to figure that out, did you?”

Nevermind that. You're not safe at all. In fact, you feel like all the air from your lungs has dissolved, leaving you breathless. Being in love with Kim Mingyu is one thing – making it so painfully obvious is another. What if this makes things awkward between the two of you? You wouldn't be able to stand that. Partly because it ruins your chance of convincing everyone you have a boyfriend, but mostly because you truly enjoy being around Mingyu, and you don't want this… thing you have going on to stop. You having to live without speaking of your crush on him is much better than not speaking to him at all. 

“I’m sorry,” You say finally, unsure of what else you could've possibly said to save the situation. 

“Why are you apologizing?” He looks at you from above, pushing your hair away from your face before bringing that hand to brush over the part of your shoulder that is exposed by your tank top. You shudder. “I never said that I mind.”

What? 

Did he just say what you think he said? ‘I never said that I mind’ – what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That he liked it when you touched him? That he wants you to? He's got to be messing with you. Right? His eyes don't leave yours, though, and while there's a cocky grin on his face, he's nowhere near laughing. 

“We should, uh, head downstairs. They're probably waiting for us,” You say, heart hammering in your chest.

“Yeah, we should.”

You wait for him to move, but he doesn't. So you don't, either. You're still dangerously close to him – if he were anyone else, you'd say he was invading your personal space. But he's Mingyu, and the truth is that you want him all up in your personal space. That doesn't change the fact that this is making you nervous – the way he's gazing down on you with a look you can decipher, the way his hand lingers just a couple centimeters away from your arm, the way you can hear his breathing clearly. You want him to do something – anything – because the tension in the air is so thick, you could touch it. But you don't want to touch it, you want to touch him.

And you want him to touch you. Does he want that, too? You don’t want to get your hopes up too much, but you also can’t seem to shake the thought that he looks infatuated with you, too, at this moment. His eyes are lidded, tongue darting to lick at his lips. Not once does he look away. What is he thinking about? Suddenly you wish you were inside his head. 

“Y/N, Mingyu, are you guys coming?” Karina's voice from outside the door brings you back to the real world.

Right. You're going for ice cream. Shit, you really need to stay focused. You’re here to have Mingyu pretend to be your boyfriend, not to make him become your real one. 

With that in mind, you start walking towards the door. You don’t even make it two steps before you feel Mingyu’s hand grab your wrist, before pulling you back to him. Surely, he doesn’t use all of his strength, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’d have collided with his chest if it wasn’t for the hand that he places on your hip to steady you. Suddenly you're face to face with him again – well, maybe face to chest is more accurate – but you don’t even get to question his actions before his rip on your wrist fades, and he brings his hands up to brush something off of your cheek instead. Then, he lets go altogether. 

“You had something on your face,” He explains upon seeing your facial expression.

“Is that why you’re looking at me like that?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. What is up with you today? When did you get so shameless? It must be all the endorphins Mingyu’s providing you with speaking. You’re about to take back what you said, but as usual, Mingyu beats you to it. 

“No,” He’s smiling again – running a hand through his hair and flashing his teeth at you. You don’t think you’ll ever grow tired of his smile. “That’s just because I like you.”

And then he fucking leaves. Like he didn’t just fucking make your heart drop to your stomach and then jump right back up, only to start beating at an abnormal speed. Because I like you. You’re about to faint. At least it feels that way. Are you even breathing? Everything seems so unimportant suddenly, the only image in your head being Mingyu and his smile. Because I like you. His words are on replay in your mind, flowing through your whole body until they reach your heart, where they settle down to bloom. Because I like you. He likes you.

Mingyu likes you. 

It’s not a love confession, nor does it mean he wants you to his girlfriend for real, but it’s a confirmation that you didn’t fuck up everything with you reckless actions earlier, and it also means you have a chance. Even if just in the slightest. That’s enough for you. 

Well, there goes the plan of not letting yourself get affected by Mingyu’s words and actions, you suppose. Slowly, you fight the urge to start giggling like a schoolgirl and leave the room to meet the others, who are standing in the hallway, waiting for you. Karina looks annoyed as usual, Seungcheol smiles softly, and Mingyu – oh, you could write a whole about how stunning he looks even in the poor lighting of the hotel – grins when he sees you and you can’t help but do the same. 

“Finally,” Karina groans, and you roll your eyes. You’re about to say something to her, but right then, Mingyu drapes his arm over your shoulders and pulls you close, which erases each and every thought you had before, replacing them with pure elation. He really is driving you crazy.

“Let’s go, then.”

The way to the ice cream shop is merely a fifteen minute walk and it leads through the empty streets that surround your hotel. It’s getting dark already as the four of you head outside, and the cool air is making you regret not putting on a jacket. But hey, in your defense, if Mingyu hadn’t decided to make your whole body grow hot with his actions, maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten about it. It’s alright, though, because Mingyu’s arm around your shoulders is warm and doesn’t leave much room for worrying. Even if he’s just doing it for show. But you don’t need to think about that right now, anyway. 

Inside the shop, it’s cozy and warm, which is something you revel in for approximately five seconds before Karina suggests that you eat your ice cream outside. You can’t imagine what’s going through her head when she says that – it’s freezing cold outside, for fuck’s sake – but Mingyu and Seungcheol don’t seem to share your doubts, so you only follow after them with a sigh as they sit down at one of the outdoor tables. The place is cute and the ice cream is good, but you can’t really focus on any of that with the way the cold air is hitting your poor skin. You don’t want to disturb Mingyu when he’s so invested in whatever conversation he’s having, though, so you don’t mention it. 

“You okay, Y/N?” It’s Seungcheol that is first to notice your state, his voice laced with concern. 

You can see how Mingyu stops talking immediately, turning his head to look at you, too, and you smile apologetically. “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little cold.”

Seungcheol smiles at you and starts to take off his jacket, which you’re about to tell him not to do, but Mingyu’s voice cuts through the air before you can even say a word. 

“You’re cold?” It’s a question, but he doesn’t wait for an answer before taking off his jacket – that way also effectively putting Seuncheol’s actions to a halt – and putting it around your shoulders. “Here, put this on.”

“It’s oka–” 

You don’t even get to finish as he lifts up your arm to slip it inside the sleeve of the jacket. As he reaches for your right arm, you help him and slip it inside of the sleeve yourself, and so his fingers come up to zip the jacket up instead. Your eyes find his when he pushes the zipper up to your neck, hand brushing over your skin as he nudges your hair away so it doesn’t get in the way. His gaze glimmers with satisfaction as he finishes putting on the jacket, as if he just solved a very hard puzzle, and your heart flutters just a little when you look at his grinning face. 

“You look cute.”

Well, maybe more than just a little.

“Thanks,” You mumble as you look away, reminded that you’re in fact not alone with Mingyu right now. 

A silence settles over the four of you; Karina’s jaw is clenched as she eats her ice cream, while Seungcheol just looks like he’s feeling out of place. You feel a sting of guilt in your chest – they invited you to hang out together, and you’re making this into a way of interacting as much as possible with Mingyu. It’s not fair for them, not to mention it isn’t very good for you, either, because soon enough, he won’t be pretending to be your boyfriend anymore. You should be getting used to not spending time with him, not the other way around. 

“So,” Karina says finally, her eyes evidently trained on only Mingyu. “How do you guys like the ice cream?”

‘You guys’, my ass, you think to yourself. She’s literally looking Mingyu right in the eyes, and still acting as if the question is directed at everyone? You kind of feel bad for Seungcheol for having to deal with her on a daily basis. 

“It’s really good,” He tells her and Karina sends him her sickly sweet smile. She opens her mouth to say something, but you’ve seen enough of her advances towards Mingyu – though he’s not technically your boyfriend, so you have no right to get jealous. But you do. 

“Really? Let me taste,” You say and before you can back out, you grab at Mingyu’s wrist and lick his mint chocolate ice cream. 

Okay, so first of all – mint chocolate is disgusting. It tastes awful. You suppose this must be how Mingyu feels each time he walks into a library. Second of all, despite the appalling taste, it’s absolutely worth it because the way Karina’s face turns into an expression of pure defeat is probably the second best thing to happen to you today. The best being every conversation you’ve had with Mingyu, of course. 

Speaking of your fake boyfriend – his eyes are set on you as you lean away from him again, something in his gaze sending shivers down your spine. His eyes are wide – you’ve caught him off guard. Good. If he’s going to make your head spin every day, you might as well do the same. 

He doesn’t look away, just keeps gazing at you with an intensity that would’ve forced you to sit down if you were standing up. You can see the way his stare drops down to your mouth and then moves up again, his tongue darting to lick at his lips. There’s something in his eyes – something that wasn’t there before. Something that shoots straight down between your legs. Desire, maybe? But not in the primal way, it’s deeper than that, more tender. Yearning. Longing. Something in between. Want. Yes, that’s the word.

“You’ve got ice cream on your lips,” He says it so quietly you almost don’t hear him – which is weird, since it’s Mingyu we’re talking about here. 

“Really? Where?” 

You’re about to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, but Mingyu’s fingers wrap themselves around your wrist and hold it in place. What is he doing? You look at him – at his parted lips, the hint of a smile lurking on his face, that stare of his that fills you with all kinds of feelings – and your heart stops. He leans forward – you can feel his breath on your face as he looks down on your lips again. 

He’s going to kiss you. And you want him to. 

You want to keep looking at him, at his smile, his beautiful eyes, but you can’t stop your eyes from fluttering close when his soft lips meet yours. He’s barely touching you, the kiss is merely a brush of skin against skin, but it still drives you crazy, sets your whole body on fire. You can’t move, couldn’t have pushed him away even if you wanted to. But you don’t want to. You want this to last forever, the subtle taste of mint chocolate, the smell of his cologne, the feeling of his tongue brushing over the inner corner of your lips – you don’t want it to end. 

But it does end. Far too quickly. He pulls away, with a grin on his face, completely unaware of how badly you want to jump into his arms and kiss him again. 

“There.”

You blink. Once. Twice. What is he talking about? Oh, right. The ice cream. He was licking off the ice cream. Your heart beats against your chest painfully hard, serving as a reminder of the situation you’re in. Seungcheol and Karina are still here, and Mingyu just kissed you. You put the pieces together fairly quickly from there – of course he kissed you, he’s supposed to be your boyfriend. It’s more believable that way. Suddenly the taste of mint chocolate that lingers on your tongue stings. 

“You guys are so cute together,” Karina smiles her fake smile and something turns in your stomach. 

She totally bought it. But so did you. 

“I think that’s all thanks to Y/N,” Mingyu’s laugh rings in your ears as his arm falls around your shoulders again. He’s holding you close, but the air’s colder than ever and the smell of his cologne hurts your nose. Not because it smells bad, but because you like it too much. 

“Speaking of Y/N, what made you fall for her? I mean, the two of you are so different from each other. On different levels, almost.”

Karina’s words feel like salt in a wound. Different levels. Is that true? Mingyu’s grip tightens on your shoulders, but this action that usually would’ve had you feeling warm inside just barely registers in your mind. Focus, you want to tell yourself, you’re not supposed to feel sad now. You’ll only fuck up the whole plan and your relationship with Mingyu in the process. But you can’t stop your thoughts from reeling and your heart from sinking. 

“What do you mean?” If Mingyu knows what Karina’s talking about – which, surely, he must know, since it’s not much of a secret he’s out of your league – he’s doing a great job at pretending he doesn’t. Just like he’s done a great job at pretending to have feelings for you. Almost too great.

“I just don’t get why you chose Y/N,” There it is. “I mean, you could probably have any girl you want.” 

He could. You know that. You’ve always known. He’s Kim Mingyu, for fuck’s sake – who wouldn’t fall for that smile of his? You surely did. Though right now, you regret it. You regret asking him to be your fake boyfriend, you regret forming a connection to him, and you regret letting him kiss you like he meant it. It’s your own fault, really. If you’d just let yourself crush on him silently, if you hadn’t gotten your hopes up, thinking he might like you, none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have had to sit by his side, feeling like the most naive person on earth.

“I don’t want to have any other girl, though,” You don’t want to look at him, but you do. His smile is long gone, and it feels so weird to look at him without it. Not bad or scary, just different. A new side of him. “I want her.” 

Your eyes widen as you look up to meet his gaze. Funny how you’ve spent the last weeks getting to know him, but now, when it really matters, you can’t figure out what’s going on inside his head. He’s looking at you with a shadow of a smile ghosting over his lips, eyes filled with the warmth you’re used to seeing in them, and it doesn’t seem fake at all. Neither did the kiss, or the hug, or any of the signs he’s given you the last weeks. All of it felt real. But what does that matter when it’s all pretend by default, anyway? 

A minute passes by in silence. You have so many things to say, but you say nothing at all. Only after that minute has passed and the feeling of Mingyu’s arm around you is too much for your poor heart to handle do you stand up, making everyone look at you. Mingyu’s arm falls limp onto your chair. He’s about to say something, but this time, it’s you that doesn’t let him. 

“Excuse me for a moment,” You say and leave them at the shop. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s not just for a moment when you start walking down the street that leads back to the hotel. 

You’re still wearing his jacket, you realize, but you don’t take it off. It’s cold – that’s your excuse, but really, you miss him already. Part of you wants to stop walking and see if he’ll come running, but part of you hopes he won’t. You walked away to avoid telling him about all of this – the mess you made by dragging him into this. If you see him now, you’ll end up spilling everything. And he’ll want nothing to do with you ever again.

You make it a whole seven steps before you hear his voice. 

“Y/N! Wait!” And against your better judgement, you stop walking until he catches up to you – breath fanning at you from above, yet you can’t seem to look up at him. “There you are. Why are you walking alone in the dark?”

You should go. Leave him behind like you intended to, break off this whole deal and go home. Pretend like Kim Mingyu doesn’t exist, pretend you’re not in love with him. But your feet won’t move. It’s like every bit of doubt and worry you’ve kept inside of you until now is making its way to the surface. 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Mingyu’s hand cups your chin and tilts it so your gazes meet. His eyes soften – go from a look of fear to tenderness. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” 

Yes, you made me fall in love with you, you idiot, you think. But you don’t say it out loud. Instead, you sigh and let your head fall against his chest, eyes fluttering shut. You can tell Mingyu wants to say something – his breath is ragged, muscles tense – but instead, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer. One, two, three. You calm yourself down slowly, inhaling his scent. Mingyu isn’t a patient man – you know he wants you to tell him what’s going on. And you will. You owe him that much. But you let yourself revel in his presence for a minute or two first, thinking that if everything goes wrong, at least you’ll have the memory of his strong arms protecting you from any pain. 

“Is this about the Karina thing?” You feel the vibrations of his voice through his chest as he speaks and it makes you smile. “You know that what she said is just complete bullshit, right? You shouldn’t care–”

“You’re such an idiot, Kim Mingyu,” You cut him off as you pull away. He looks so shocked at your words that it makes you want to laugh. “You really are. You notice how my hair falls into my face, or how I’m struggling to carry my bags, but you don’t notice the way your words and actions affect me.” 

He probably doesn’t know it, but he always pushes his lips out in a pout when he’s confused, and right now is no exception. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” You take a deep breath. “I’m in love with you. Hopelessly so. And I know you don’t feel the same way, but you could’ve at least spared me for all your heart-fluttering gestures, because you’re only making me fall harder.” 

You thought you’d completely accepted your failure, but the way your heart reaches dramatic speed once you’re done speaking proves you otherwise. Or maybe it’s not hope that has you feeling dizzy – maybe it’s just Mingyu himself. You observe him cautiously after you’ve said it, and slowly, but surely, you see his pout and furrowed eyebrows fade into a smile – a soft one that has his eyes crinkling. 

“Who said I don’t feel the same way?” His voice is merely above a whisper as his hand reaches for your cheek, thumb stroking the skin on it. You shiver under his touch, slowly processing his words as his other hand comes to grab at your waist and pull you close. “I like you, remember? A lot.”

“Yes, but you were my fake boyfriend and–”

“Why do you think I agreed to this whole deal, Y/N? I’ve had my eyes on you ever since that party at Soonyoung’s.”

“You agreed because I promised to pay for your meals,” You remind him, heart struggling to beat at a normal speed when you feel his fingers play  when his finger moves from stroking your cheek to your jaw. 

“It’s not like I can’t pay for my own meals. The hair tie, the library, the flower – do you think I do that to every girl I hang out with? Why do you think I spent time with you when I didn’t have to?”

You swallow as his thumb strokes your lower lip. “I don’t know, because you’re nice like that?”

“Nobody’s just ‘nice like that’, baby,” He smiles that ridiculously gorgeous smile of his as he leans forward to connect his forehead to yours, almost making you faint in the process. He might've kissed you earlier, but this is different. Now he knows everything. “When I said I wanted you, I wasn’t kidding.”

Okay, Y/N, breathe, you tell yourself, but it’s easier said than done. Especially when his breath is mixed with yours, eyes shining with emotion as your noses brush against each other. He wants you. Kim Mingyu wants you. Your heart is beating so hard against your chest you fear he might hear it from where he’s standing, merely a centimeter away. It’s like he’s awaiting your next move. Without thinking much, you put your hands on his shoulder and pull him a bit closer. Just so his lips fan over yours, and butterflies swarm in your stomach. Oh, you want him to kiss you so badly. 

It’s like he hears your thoughts, because not even one second later he’s closing the small distance between you and pressing his lips to yours. This time, it’s not just a brush of skin against skin – well, objectively speaking, it is, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s much different from the kiss at the ice cream shop. Now, he’s holding onto you tightly, entangling his fingers in your hair while his lips move against yours fervently. The arm which rests on your waist is pulling you closer, though you doubt you could be any closer to him than what you already are. Your grip on his shoulders is just as firm, the cool air nothing compared to the way your whole body is heating up from his touch. 

Mingyu’s teeth scrape against your lower lip and you open your mouth slightly, gripping his bicep tighter when he slips his tongue inside. You can’t even make out what he tastes like – whether it’s mint chocolate, coffee or anything else – you’re too focused on the fact that he’s kissing you, that his hands are pulling you closer as he moves his lips against yours. His fingers pull at your hair just hard enough for you to tilt your head back and allow him to move his lips down to your jaw, tongue darting over the skin. You want to look at him, but you can’t help the way your eyes flutter shut when he starts pressing open-mouthed kisses against your throat, spreading goosebumps all over your skin and you shiver. 

For some reason, Mingyu takes this as a sign to pull away, leaving you with chapped lips and breathlessness in his arms. 

“Why’d you stop?” It sounds a lot whinier than you’d intended, but who can really blame you? Kim Mingyu just told you he has feelings for you and kissed you, only to let it end this fast – you’re allowed to whine. 

“Because you looked cold,” He says and you scoff. Because you looked cold? What kind of excuse is that? He grins at your facial expression, moving his face closer to yours so that for a moment, you think he’s going to kiss you again. “Why? Am I so good at kissing that you need more?” 

“I literally hate you so much,” You push him away with a scoff, thinking that walking back to the hotel might be a good idea since the cold is starting to catch up with you. Still, you listen for Mingyu’s steps behind you as you walk, only speeding up when you’re certain he’s walking, too. 

“That’s mean,” It doesn’t take long for him to catch up with you and walk by your side, shoulder against yours the whole way until the hotel that, fortunately, lies only 100 meters away. “I don’t give kisses to girls that are mean, you know.”

You arrive at the warm hotel fairly quickly and waste no time heading towards your room, acting like you’re eager to crawl under the sheets. In all honesty, you’re more eager to spend time with Mingyu without freezing to death – not that you’ll tell him that. You’ve boosted his ego enough for today, you suppose. Speaking of Mingyu – he walks with you, but you don’t look at him before you’ve entered the room, unable to hold back your smile at the pout that is evident on his face just like it was in his voice earlier.  

“And what girls do you give kisses to?” You ask him as you take off your (his) jacket and throw it on the floor. His eyes find yours as he walks over to wrap his arms around you again, and just like every other time he’s touching you, it makes your heart beat faster. Nose brushing against yours, eyes smiling down on you, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt. You want to kiss him again. 

“You.”

“What?” You laugh at his response, almost missing the way his eyes rest on your lips. Almost. “That makes no sen–”

You’re cut off by his lips pressing against yours for a mere second, soft and sweet for as long as you can taste them, and then he pulls away with a wide grin on his face. And you can’t even bring yourself to get mad at him for pulling away when he looks so fucking cute looking down on you, hair falling into his eyes a little. 

“I love you,” He says after a while, and it’s like there are fireworks going off inside of you. You could’ve died from happiness right then and there.

“I love you, too.”

“Let’s go to sleep, baby.”

You nod your head, half in a daze. He loves you. Kim Mingyu loves you. And he doesn’t dissappear when you’re in the bathroom, changing, he’s still there when you come out – sitting on the bed, waiting for you. You smile at him and he smiles at you, hands latching onto your shirt and pulling you down next to him. He pulls you closer, legs entangled with yours under the covers as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

This night you fall asleep between Mingyu’s arms, breathing in his scent and feeling completely at ease.

—

The sunlight shining through the window is what wakes you up the following morning, inviting you to open your eyes only to screw them shut again. It’s way too early for that much light, you decide, rubbing your eyes before you realize it is, in fact, already almost noon. God, you’ve slept in. You almost get the urge to get ready for school, but then you remember – you’re at the seaside resort with Karina and Seungcheol. And Mingyu. You smile as you think of him, reaching to your left to touch him, but you’re only met with warm bedding underneath your fingers.

For a scary second, you worry that he’s left, or maybe even worse – that all the things you remember from yesterday never happened and it was just a dream. Fortunately, those worries evaporate when the door to the bathroom that is connected to your room flies open and none other than Mingyu himself walks out. 

Which is great and all – except that he has a towel wrapped around his waist. Only a towel. 

You try to divert your eyes, you really do, but it’s really fucking difficult when he’s standing two meters away from you with water dripping down his exposed chest to slip under the white towel that is the only thing shielding him from your sight. His hair is wet, too, falling into his forehead until he pushes it away, his arm muscles accentuated by the lighting. God, looking this good should be illegal. It’s not like it’s anything new that Mingyu’s hot, and yet the sight stirs up a heat between your legs, heart beating a little faster as you sit up on the bed, finally forcing yourself to look him in the eyes. 

“Oh, hey,” He catches your gaze and flexes his muscles instantly – something that might’ve just made you laugh if it didn’t shoot straight to your pussy. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah, well, um,” You gulp a little too loud when you catch yourself looking down on his bare chest again. You need to focus, you think to yourself, closing your eyes briefly to collect your thoughts. “I don’t usually sleep this long.”

“Mhm,” You see him smile and then the bed bends under his weight as he plops down on it, arms reaching for you and pulling you close with ease. He nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck, lips fanning over the skin and making you shiver softly. All cute and all, except he’s still only wearing a towel and the warmth of his body is making you you lose your mind a little. “And do you usually look at people like that?” 

Like what, you’re about to ask, but the words die down in your throat when you feel his big hands slip under your shirt and rest on your waist, and you know he knows you want him. It’s kind of embarrasing how big of an effect even his slightest touch has on you, but who can really blame you for feeling all hot and bothered when Kim Mingyu is lying in bed with you, his chest against yours and hips only a few centimeters away from meeting his? He smells so nice, too – the scent of his shampoo is making it impossible for you to even think about leaving his embrace. 

“No,” You whisper instead, breath hitching when he lifts you up to place you in his lap. He’s leaning against the headboard now, finger still firmly gripping your waist as he leaps forward to plant a soft kiss to your neck. 

“No?” He says this against the skin of your neck, sending shivers down your spine as his hands travel higher and higher until they fan over the back of your bra, asking for permission to take it off. You give it to him by pushing your chest out against him, hands grabbing at his arms under the excuse of keeping yourself steady. Though, in reality, you just really like his arms, and the feeling of his muscles beneath your fingers only serves to help a throb form between your legs. 

“No, just you,” You basically moan out as his right hand gropes one of your tits, bra thrown onto the floor. 

“Just me?” 

He smiles against you, now pressing a kiss to your jaw, pushing himself up against you to reach more of your skin, and in that way, causing his hips to brush up against yours. Your grip on his shoulders tightens at the contact and so does the coil in your stomach – you might be wearing shorts and the towel is still wrapped around Mingyu’s hips, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can clearly feel how his hard cock is pressing into the side of your inner thigh, mere centimeters from where you want it to be. 

It’s like he reads your thoughts, because in the next moment, he’s lifting his hips again so his clothed cock brushes up against you, and judging from the satisfied smile that settles onto his face when you gasp, he’s doing it on purpose. You can’t even say anything when his hand rests on your hip and pushes you down on his bulge, this time successfully rubbing against your clit. 

God, you’re going to go crazy if the two of you keep pretending this is a normal cuddling session any longer. At this point, you’re positive both your panties and shorts are completely soaked, not to mention how painfully your pussy is throbbing with need – the need for Kim Mingyu to fuck you. 

“Mingyu…” 

“Mmm?” He hums absentmindedly, fingers moving lower until they rest against the waistband of your panties. 

You only whine at him in response, deciding to take matters into your own hands when you see his amused smile, your hips rolling into his and your pussy clenching around nothing when it rubs against his cock. You can feel how his fingers dig into your skin, a soft moan escaping past his lips at the touch and you know you've won. 

“What happened to the cute, shy Y/N?” He’s still smiling as he speaks, letting his hand push your panties aside and hover just a centimeter away from your dripping pussy. It makes you suck in a breath, and Mingyu smiles even wider. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I’m still here,” You assure him, moving your hips just a little forward so they reach his hand. It takes all in you not to outright whimper when the palm of his hand grazes your cunt, the slight sensation enough to make your whole body go limp in his arms, your mouth resting close to his ear. “I just really want you to fuck me right now.” 

And that’s all Mingyu needs to hear before he basically manhandles you so your back is flat against the mattress, the towel slipping dangerously low on his hips as he hovers above you with his chest against yours. You shiver underneath him, nipples pressing against the thin shirt you're still wearing, thighs rubbing together in an attempt to relieve yourself of some of the tension. Mingyu doesn't fail to notice any of that, quick to practically rip your shirt off and play with your tits with one hand, while the other pulls down your shorts and panties so he can press one finger flat against your clit. 

“Mingyu,” You moan out, lifting your hips off of the bed to create some friction. “Please.”

“God, you're so eager,” He grins and runs his fingers over your tits as he starts moving his thumb across your pussy, smiling in satisfaction when he sees how you're practically dripping onto his hand. “And so wet. Is that just for me, baby?”

You can't even give him an answer when he pushes one of his fingers inside of you, still letting his thumb press against your clit. A whimper leaves your mouth when he pulls it out only to push it back in a second later, setting a quick pace pretty quickly. The room is already filled with the noises your cunt makes when he fucks his finger into you, adding another when he realizes you're still bucking your hips up, begging for more. His thumb starts lazily rubbing circles on your clit, and you moan his name, then bite your lip to muffle the noise.

“Don’t,” The way Mingyu pouts is a big contrast to the way his fingers curl inside of you as he pushes them deeper into your wet cunt. “Wanna hear those pretty sounds you make, okay?”

“Okay,” You whimper, tightening your grip on him when the finger rubbing your clit speeds up and he presses wet kisses into your neck, then down to your tits and stomach. 

His hand that isn’t busy fucking you with his fingers settles on your hip as his mouth reaches your inner thighs. He kisses them softly and looks up at you, eyes dark and hair framing his face so nicely, before he dives between your legs, catcing you off guard when his fingers slip out of you, only to be replaced by his tongue that laps up your juices while he continues rubbing your now swollen clit. 

“Feels so good, Gyu,” You say and you can feel him moan against your pussy, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core. It's embarrassing how close you are to cumming already, but in your defense, Mingyu knows exactly what he's doing when he drags his nose through your folds, letting one of his fingers slip through your walls again. You grab at his hair, not trying to hold back your moans anymore as his tongue presses against your clit. 

“You taste so good,” He purrs against you, making you cry out in pleasure when his fingers hit that one spot that makes your toes curl. 

It's all too much to handle – the way his finger is leaving and entering your pussy at a fast speed, plunging deep inside of you as he sucks on your clit – it's got your thighs closing around his head, hands pulling at his hair to bring him closer like that's even possible. You’re so focused on chasing your orgasm, that you almost don’t notice when he adds another finger to pump in and out of your cunt, making you feel so full that your eyes roll to the back of your head and you clench around him repeatedly. 

You don't even get to warn Mingyu of your approaching high in any other way than holding tight onto his strong arms as your pussy clamps down on his fingers, your hips bucking into his face. The intensity of your orgasm has you grabbing at the sheets as you cum on his tongue and fingers, feeling a little empty when he retracts his hand from your heat. 

“Mingyu,” You whine from overstimulation when his tongue laps at your pussy again, licking up all your juices before he sits up.

“Sorry,” Mingyu smiles in a way that tells you he doesn’t feel sorry at all, and waits until you prop yourself up on your elbows so he can kiss you. 

You can taste yourself on his tongue when it slips inside of your mouth, but what occupies your mind more is the way he’s still got the towel wrapped around his hips, and his painfully hard cock is now pressed against your thigh, reminding you just how badly you want it inside of you. It doesn’t exactly help the case that Mingyu’s looking even hotter than before – his hair pretty much dry now, but completely disheveled, chin glistening with your slick. 

Before you can get the chance to back down, you put your hand on his chest and let it trace his muscles until you reach where the towel is tied. Mingyu basically purrs into your mouth when you palm his cock over the fabric, his head falling onto your shoulder. 

“I’m gonna fuck you so good,” He mumbles into your ear and you feel his words shoot straight to your pussy. “You want that, don't you?”

“Mhm,” You tell him as he pushes you down on the mattress again, your hands coming up to finally untie the towel that's shielding him from your hungry eyes. “Want your cock, Mingyu, please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

He helps you push the towel off of his hips and groans when his cock springs free – it's a pretty sound that would've totally made you feel even needier if you weren't too occupied staring at him with wide eyes instead. You can tell from his growing smile that you're only feeding into his ego, but you can't really help it – his cock is not only pretty, it's also really fucking big. 

“Aw, are you scared it won't fit?” His thumb strokes your lip and you can see how his arm muscles tighten when he leans on them to align himself at your entrance. “Don’t worry, baby, I'll make sure it does.”

You shiver when the tip of his dick grazes your cunt, his arm helping you to wrap your legs around his hips. His breath fans over your face as he leans down to press a kiss to your cheek, and you feel both butterflies and heat spread in your lower stomach at the action. God, he really wants you dead. The smile on his face doesn't subside even as he starts rubbing his cock across your folds without warning, making you grab at his arms, moans leaving your mouth no matter how hard you try to hold them back each time he comes in contact with your clit. 

To your defense, you weren't exactly expecting him to suddenly start smearing your arousal all over your swollen cunt. 

His movements work wonders, though, and soon enough, you're clenching around nothing with each roll of his hips, dripping onto his cock like he's been touching you'd hours, when in reality, it only took five or so swipes of his dick to bring you to this state. 

“Mingyu, please,” If his goal was to have you become a whining mess, he's definitely reached it, because now, all sense of embarrassment is thrown aside. “I want you inside of me.”

“Are you sure you can take it?” He asks, but you can tell he's just as eager as you when he positions himself at your entrance.

You nod vigorously and that's all the confirmation he needs to drive his cock into you slowly. He's trying to be gentle – you can tell from the way his lips are parted and his big hands grip your waist tighter – but that doesn't change the fact that he's stretching you out like crazy, small whimpers leaving your mouth as you try to adjust to his size. You've barely gotten used to having him inside of you when you realize he hasn't even pushed all the way in. You're already feeling incredibly full, but nothing beats the way you feel Mingyu’s cock deep inside of you when he finally bottoms out, your pussy sucking him in. 

“You’re so tight, fuck,” Mingyu groans and you only clench around him harder at the praise, feeling your mind go a little hazy at how stuffed you are with his cock. “Making me wanna fuck you dumb.”

Do it then, you want to tell him, but then he starts moving and all plans you had of speaking turn into quiet whimpers as you dig your nails into his skin. He’s moving painfully slowly, but it’s still making your head spin when he pulls out only to push himself back into your tight cunt, stretching you out and making you feel every bit of his cock clearly. 

At first, you manage to keep your eyes on Mingyu – the way his abdominal muscles flex with each leisure thrust, making you whimper a little louder than you would’ve otherwise, the way his cock creates a bulge in your stomach when he buries it deep inside of you, the way his mouth falls open in a groan whenever your walls tighten around him. After a while, though, you can tell he wants to go faster and truthfully – you want him to, 

“Mingyu,” You mumble, tapping his shoulder lightly. He only hums absentmindedly in response, but his eyes meet yours, so you continue. “More, please.”

“More?” His eyes light up and he thrusts a little harder this time, experimentally, smiling when you let out a broken moan. “Yeah? Feels good?”

“Mhm,” You mumble, eyes fluttering shut when he draws his hips back only to push into you again, this time deep enough so that you feel him all the way to your stomach. 

Satisfied with your answer, Mingyu positions your leg higher on his hip so he can thrust into you at a deeper angle – something that leaves you seeing stars when he picks up his pace, fucking you into the matress. Your hands grab at his arms to steady yourself while his hand cups your tits, face leaning forward to press open mouthed kisses to your neck, sucking on your sensitive skin softly.

“Feels so fucking good, baby,” He mumbles into your neck, sending shivers down your body and making you clench around him harder. 

The coil in your stomach starts to tighten and your eyes roll to the back of your head as Mingyu hits that one spot that makes your toes curl in pleasure. He doesn’t miss your louder moans, smiling to himself as he continues to hit that spot, sucking marks into your skin. His thrusts are fast but far from shallow, making your mind go foggy, not able to focus on anything but the way he’s fucking you so good. You bury your hands in his hair, forgetting all about being embarrassed and whimpering his name with each thrust that pushes you closer to your orgasm.

“Mingyu,” You say. “I’m so close.”

This only urges him to go harder, now bringing his thumb to rub circles on your clit as well, the action making you almost scream his name, thighs starting to shake. You don’t even have to hold onto him anymore – which is good, because you’re unable to think of anything else than how his cock slips in and out of your sopping cunt – because his strong arms are holding you up, fingers sliding easily across your sensitive clit. Your pussy is clenching around him uncontrollably now, tears starting to prickle at your eyes from the stimulation and you almost don’t register the things he’s whispering into your ear with a hoarse voice. 

“You’re being such a good girl for me, taking everything I give you.”

You nod your head dumbly and clench around him in response, unable to really gather your thoughts to form any sentence, but Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind, hand coming to grab at your hips and push them against him so he can reach deeper into your pussy. This is when you can’t hold it in anymore, a loud moan of his name leaving your lips as you cum around his cock, sucking him in tightly as if you don’t want him to pull out. 

You can feel Mingyu’s smile against your neck as he continues to pound into you as you’re trying to recover from your second orgasm, chasing his own high. Whimpering from the overstimulation, you hold onto him as he twitches inside of you. It doesn’t take long before he’s moaning right into your ear – a sound that makes your breath hitch in your throat – and emptying his cum into you.

“Fuck,” He pulls out of you and you whine at the loss of contact. This makes him smile – his signature grin looking even better on him than usually, with his cheeks flushed and droplets of sweat forming on his exposed forehead. “You did so well, baby.”

You can feel butterflies swarming in your stomach at the praise, face contorting into a tired smile when he lies down next to you, strong arms pulling you closer until your head rests against his chest. His warmth engulfs you and you realize you’d have no problem falling asleep between his arms right now. 

“That was really amazing, you know,” He says and looks down on you.

“I know,” You press a kiss to his jaw. “Round two in thirty minutes?” 

Mingyu’s laughter fills not only the room, but your heart as well. 

“That’s my girl.”

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#mingyu smut #kim mingyu smut #seventeen smut #kim mingyu x reader #svt smut

[romanoffsbish]

Castles Crumbling

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!R

Natasha x Wanda / Others

Valkyrie x F!R

Royal AU Request | Natasha never was a fan of rules, so when sets were placed upon her love she pushed against them… Now she wonders if it’s too late to make it right again. | WC: 7,550

Warning: “Unrequited” Love | Jealousy | Mean Fuckboy Natasha / Sad R | Abusive Parents / Fucked Systems | HE!

Smut: Virgins (In various ways) | Mommy (R) | Oral (R) | Strap (N) | Degradation | Unorthodox “BJ” (🤷🏼‍♀️)

Minors DNI | 18+

“Natalia, keep your chin up," Melina scolded her daughter who was too busy glaring across the ballroom to even acknowledge her mother fixing up her gown. The strap had suddenly tethered, if not for Melina's resourcefulness she'd have had to hold an apology in front of the kingdom for her daughter, the heiress to the throne's, albeit unintentional, lack of modesty.

Natasha's eyes stayed trained on you, who was giggling at a slightly older woman's words. You were her fiancée, yet there you stood enraptured by another's presence as if they hung the moon and stars for you.

———

The redhead had no throne to sit upon though, she very well knew that, this unbearable distance forged between soulmates was one she herself created half a decade ago. She'd regretted it from the start, living without your love was lonely, and in this moment she felt the regret double at the thought of losing you fully.

You were once hers, exclusively so...

The two of you were the best of friends until she found out the intense love she held for you wasn't meant to be organically woven. Instead, the two of you'd already been signed up for a life together, something she should have seen as a gift, but the idea that you were only ever going to be hers due to legalities broke her.

To think, had she and Yelena been born in reverse that it'd be a much different fate. The redhead loathed the idea that such a system would exist in the first place and vowed to never place that pressure on your kids.

The kids she now wondered if you'd still share...

Natasha, in her state of grief has been blinded to the familiar turmoil you'd also experienced. It had gutted you when your parents said you were in line to marry the Romanov's heir, to keep strong alliances between your Kingdoms. To have the Romanov name was a dream come true, but to have no say in it upset you just the same. Yet you were ready to live life the same, to continue to fall in love with your supposed destiny and to thank fate for guaranteeing your forever bond.

Natasha regrettably went the other route, letting her resentments fester, and in turn she pushed you away. It wasn't gradual either, you were really confused by the dynamic switch—it was like night to day, and for years you were faced with her venomous demeanor. Animosity that was rooted in falsehoods still hurt just the same, and now you two couldn't be further apart.

Just like the strap of her emerald gown, she worried that the tie between your confused hearts was near to severing. Natasha could actually feel her heart splitting at the thought, she never considered her horrid actions would lead to an eventual permanent loss of you.

But now that she sees the web she's sown she gets it.

For the last five years shortly after you hit puberty, you had to watch as the woman you wholeheartedly adored became a stranger that thrived on promiscuity. To hear about it too as the women of the kingdom never minced words about their nights with her, and with each rendezvous you lost more hope for a joyful forever with her. Natasha buried herself in other woman, and actually thought you'd just wait patiently for her to come back, but clearly you'd grown tired of it.

You once thought it was just a rebellious phase, many heirs to thrones go through them, and you knew Nat was a free spirit. You even understood her want to be free, to see whomever she wanted in her youth. It was a natural curiosity you didn't indulge in though, because your heart only beat for the redhead, but you never asked her not to have explored it. Especially because she was never going to listen if you did. Natasha was headstrong, a natural born leader, not so much a lover.

Well, at least not this version of Natasha. She'd lost her once sweet demeanor with you, every interaction turned tense and abrasive. Natasha used to hold doors open for you, now she was purposeful in closing them. As if she was letting you know that her heart was no longer in sync with yours. She'd shut you out entirely, it was the vindictive nature of it all that really broke you down over time, and lead you to this moment of despair. In your youth she was your greatest hope.

— • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • —

"If he doesn't stop staring at you I will have to gouge his icy blue eye's right out of his skull," your best friend grumbled loud enough for the Barnes boy to hear as you both passed him by. "Natalia!" You shrieked, tiny hand flying to your mouth as you tried to hide your smirk of inappropriate amusement. The older princess smirked as she watched you losing your composure. "You can't just say those things!"

Natasha smirked, the gesture entirely teasing, "Why?"

"It's not ladylike." Natasha grinned even wider at the challenge of your words. "Fuck being ladylike."

Natasha threw her head back as she laughed at the sight of your shocked face. Your eyes wide and mouth comical agape. "Natty, we're royals!" The redhead shrugged, and rebutted lowly, her tone chillingly grave, "Yeah, as is he but he doesn't respect us like we are," then she walked further down to the murky body of running water, you followed her in a rush, but in your hurry you tripped over a rock and fell towards the creek with a fearful squeal.

"Careful now detka," Natasha teased as she caught you with ease, using her body to push you up against a tree to have you upright again, and for a second in time you thought—hoped—she might kiss you. But life was cruel in a way as all she did was assess your face for injury before she slid her clammy hand into yours and guided you over to the bundle of rocks. Careful as she helped you climb up first then she settled behind you and the two of you watched the sunset as you did every Sunday to mark the week's cruel end.

— • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • — • —

Everything was hectic being the children of royalty, especially for you, but with Natasha at your side it was all okay. The redhead always used to sneak you away to the creek that connected the many kingdoms, to where she'd let you play freely, like a kid should. Then as preteens it just became your spot to get away together.

Now it was where you spent your nights alone, talking to the moon and asking her where it all went wrong.

The redhead used to afford you the space to be your true, wild-child self unlike your parents who were far more strict in comparison to hers. Melina and Alexei held their children to high standards, of course, but they also never prevented them from being children.

Your parents were more akin to royal traditionalists in many ways, they believed children were meant to be seen, never heard. To be flaunted like assets, but never loved by anything outside of the hired help, who did their very best, but it's not like they were treated much better than you. To be given away like chattel, and never acknowledged as a person with free will like the commoners were. To never exist outside of the castle's bounds, a prisoner of the most bleak circumstances.

Natasha was your beacon of peace, she had always cherished your friendship, and held you in the highest of regards. Her biggest goal used to be to make you laugh, she'd tell you stories of Yelena's chaos, and on rare occasions she'd even let the blonde tag along so you could feel true joy. Then all of a sudden she cast you away too, you were obviously hurt by her choices, but even with her sudden animosity towards you you'd never shown her anything but respect and kindness.

Fellow royals called you a pushover, others a hopeless case, but truth be told, there were small cracks in her resolve at times that told you she must've still loved you. It was in the glances she'd cast your way when you were usually preoccupied. You'd always look up just in time to catch the traces of longing before her steely composure returned. She also was insanely protective of your womanhood, as if she had any right to claim it.

Like when the older Stark brother tried to get you to follow him to his quarters one night months back when his family was visiting. The redhead followed your naive form, then just as he went to escort you into his room she'd punched him so hard that his nose cracked, and his once white polo was soaked in crimson.

Before you could question anything she spat, "Don't ever try to sleep with my girl again Tony!" Then before you could savor the warmth of her claim to you she swiftly added her hypocrisy: "It ruins the appearance we must keep up for the public." She was gone in a flash, and you apologized to the man before running off to your quarters to sob over the loss of warmth.

It was a consistent cycle too, every time someone like Danvers, or Barnes tried to court you she was there, dauntingly lingering like a viper prepared to snap. Her gaze was always piercing, and they'd learned quickly to run to avoid needing to be physically removed.

Natasha's promiscuity obviously flourished, while your potential was always curbed at every turn. Not only did you hear the women whispering her praises, but just last week, after a pre-nuptials celebratory dinner with all the neighboring kingdoms you watched her leave the follow up gala with Wanda Maximoff, the gorgeous princess of Sokovia, in a fit of drunken giggles. Her brother, Pietro, was the heir marrying your brother.

You've now reasoned that you two would be entering a loveless marriage (on her end), just like your brother. All in the name of diplomacy you'd reminded yourself this morning, so you believed you'd both have your own partners. Which is why you were finally indulging the vivacious soul of Valkyrie, the shockingly single King from the neighboring kingdom of Asgard. She was beautiful in her own right, incomparable to your hearts muse, but undeniably gorgeous nonetheless.

It never once crossed your mind that Natasha would be fuming, and even if you'd maybe known she would be, you didn't really care anymore. This was the game she started, and you're fed up, so you'll gladly play along.

Why should she get to have all the fun?

Melina gripped her daughter's clenched jaw softly, and sighed in annoyance as she had to forcefully bring her gaze down to face her instead of you. "You did this to yourself Natalia, woman up and face the ugly truth that you alonenpushed your beloved into another's arms."

"Mama," Natasha whimpered pitifully, she always hated how serious and practical her mother could be. Never seeing between the lines, or trying to understand the reasons why. "No, there will be no pity from me, your father might coddle you girls, but you broke Y/N too many times for me to sympathize with you. Now fix your face, and go mingle with your people, Queen."

For the next ten minutes the redhead held her head up high, and conversed with the elders in the crowded room. It was the night before you were to be wed, so of course there was a pre-nuptials party. "Where is your fiancée?" Natasha cast her gaze to the corner you were in moments prior only to find it empty. Her body was actively panicking at the prospect of you slipping out, but she kept her voice steady. "I'm sorry, but please do excuse me. I actually need to go find her, she is really good at getting lost in the ballroom after a drink."

The man nodded sympathetically, and Natasha practically sprinted away from him as she frantically looked around. She nearly tripped over the gowns of the attendees as she haphazardly made her way over to you. Her blood boiled as Valkyrie's hands were holding you close by the hips, your gorgeous, genuine smile on display for a woman who held no claim to you.

Natasha was genuinely near to tears when she saw the way the suave woman whispered something humorous into your ear, making you laugh aloud so freely, with your head thrown back and a hand on her shoulder.

Her heart ached at the memories of all the times it was her making you laugh until you cried. She yearned to go back in time with every step she took to get to you, if she could undo her mistakes she would. Oh would she.

"Sweetheart, we've got incoming," the beautiful woman spun you out, and you saw a flash of red before you were back against her chest. Natasha's jaw clenched just the same as yours, how dare she even consider ruining your moment to move on from her once again.

"Y/N, we need to go mingle with the crowd," Natasha tried to grab your arm to pull you away from Valkyrie, but you roughly shrugged her off. "I'm having fun here Romanov, so you can speak for the both of us, you've done well enough at it so far. Feel free to continue on."

Valkyrie leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your cheek and Natasha quietly growled, "Unhand my fiancée Brunnhilde," to which the older woman merely rolled her eyes before she was whispering in your ear again, "Just go and talk to her Y/N, I'll be right here if you need me sweetheart, but don't let her upset you enough that you cause a scene in front of your parents."

You suddenly remembered your place, and silently parted from the woman with a sad smile that actually broke Natasha's resolve. Valkyrie scoffed as pools of brown met hers of green, "You're wasting a good woman," she shook her head and walked off towards the bar leaving the redhead to stew in her shame.

Seeing you so sad to be left alone with her was jarring, then she saw the evil glare of your fathers and wondered if things had gotten worse since she no longer really knew. She'd left you alone, and if she was right, he likely blamed you for her own promiscuity.

She could hear his morose voice clear as day, "Well, if you were more inclined to put out, she'd have stayed." He was always blunt, and degrading—never kind, and to think she'd given him a reason to hurt your feelings devastated her. She'll never really forgive herself.

But for some reason she hoped you still would as she calmly exited the ballroom, her feet moved faster as soon as the doors blocked the patrons view though. All the redhead wanted was to reach you, and apologize.

"What was that Natasha?" You inquired just as soon as she entered your soon to be shared room. "I mean honestly, you have some nerve staking your claim to me as if you even mean it. I am my own person, and quite frankly Romanov I have needs you don't satisfy!"

It was insane what she said next, the woman should be begging on her knees for your forgiveness, like she had planned, but instead she put her foot in her mouth.

"Please tell me you're still a virgin..." Your eyes went wide, and you rightfully scoffed, "And what if I wasn't? Is that a dealbreaker for you Miss Chastity Belt?"

Natasha's eyes welled with genuine tears that made you melt ever so slightly, apparently the idea that you'd given yourself to another devastated her, even if she was a bit of a hypocrite. You too were reacting like you were unwell, feeling warmth at her weak show of love.

"Y/N, please just answer me..." You rolled your eyes, and shrugged nonchalantly. "No, I am not a virgin."

"Fuck!" Natasha collapsed to her knees, her gown layered around her beautifully yet tragic. This was her worst fear. "With who? I-I, please just tell me now."

You rolled your eyes at the dramatics, as if she had any right to question you like this. Still, seeing her broken hurt you, it was truly unfair to you, and even if it would be embarrassing you reached into your bedside table, and threw a worn down painting, and a strap at her.

Natasha's jaw clenched at the sight of the plastic, wondering who took your innocence with the device, picturing their demise, but then she lost her breath as the painting flipped over to reveal her obvious likeness.

"I-I don't understand Y/N," she spoke softly, her head tilted up and you bit back a smile at seeing the confused, adorable little pout that she wore. "It's called steadfast loyalty Natasha, plus, it's not like you didn't run off every prospect I've ever had over the years."

"Y/N, I," she cut her apology off as she sobbed even harder. You wanted to remain furious, but you could feel her pain reflecting in your heart, so you gently caressed her glistening cheek, and weakly smiled. "Get off the floor Nat." The redhead jumped to her feet in seconds and clumsily crashed into you, making your body stumble backwards until you were flat on the bed with the breathtaking woman hovering. The beautiful image of karma unfolded before you, it hurt your heart to see her sad, but you couldn't deny that the flushed skin and glimmering eyes added a layer of palpable attraction to her overall perfection.

The moment was the perfect time for her to finally kiss you, to break that distance, but she once again missed it as she collapsed and cried against your chest," I-I hear the people talk about me like I'm a monster." Natasha paused as she did her best to contain her devastation, but it was no use as she continued to speak in a cracked voice, "They used to chant my name, but now they all hate me, and I deserve it..."

You sighed, reluctant yet ready to console her, but she just kept going, "I hurt the one person I always vowed to protect." Natasha sobbed, but this one caught in her throat as she choked on the brutal honesty. "Oh God," her position shifted and she pressed her forehead against yours. "I never wanted you to hate me!"

"I do—."

"My love..."

"Natasha..."

"What have I done to us?!"

You groaned in frustration, "Are you done with the dramatics? May I speak now?" Natasha froze then squeaked out an mhm. Seeing her submit so easily nearly made you laugh, but this wasn't the time to tease. This was a time to fix what she recklessly broke, and to ensure she knew that to mend this took effort on her part. "Our foundation is undeniably cracked Natasha, but that doesn't mean we can't rebuild to a place of total equity. Remember that I am your partner, and not some consolation prize you can flaunt. You own my heart, yes, but not my mind or body."

"You still want me?" She asked in shock, and flinched as you sadly met her gaze and sighed, "I'm cursed with the inability to love another." Natasha smiled like a kid who just got out of time out, "So we'll rebuild?" You rolled your eyes and nodded, "Our castles very well crumbled but with time we'll build it even stronger."

"I'm so sorry," she tried, but you hushed her with a finger over her lip, tired of the words and more so ready for the action. "I forgive you, it is enough for me that you sobbed on the floor. What a filthy girl..."

Natasha's cheeks flushed and you once again found yourself amused, she was incredibly shy, and not at all like you'd pictured her to be from all the rumors.

"C-can I kiss you then?" You giggled, then allowed her to do so after a moment of recomposing. It was a bit sloppy, but you didn't mind, because she tasted like heaven. With how tentative she was to deepen the gesture you were under the impression that she wanted to slow down, maybe even wait for the wedding night.

After a moment of reprieve was taken you moved to sit you both up, her body forced to straddle yours so as to not fall off the bed. "Wait, please don't stop," Natasha pleaded, her hands connected behind your neck and suddenly she was that same nervous teen again, the one who ran from her feelings. "You're the one with all the experience here Nat." Natasha gnawed on her lip, and bowed her head in a mix of shame, and sadness. "I never kissed their lips, or let them touch me."

"Wait," you momentarily paused to process, "Are you?"

"I'm a virgin in the ways that count," she admitted with her gaze cast down at your lap to avoid your potential expression of judgement. "Look at me Natalia."

There was no room for disobedience, she knew that she was lucky enough to even have your forgiveness, she wouldn't dare try to test your patience as well. It was difficult, but she lifted her head, and her heart skipped at the sight of your soft expression. She felt silly for ever doubting you'd be kind—of course you would be.

Meanwhile in your chest you could feel the way your heart danced with excitement. Not only did you have a leg up on her with experience—thanks to Maria Hill, who made out with you for hours last fall after you'd drunkenly cried about never being kissed, but you also just found out she'd never been pleased by another. It stung less to know you'd be her one and only lover.

In the ways that count of course...

"I can lead," you smirked at the flash of understanding in her eyes, it was only fair that she knew, and honestly it served her right to not be your first everything. The same way you wouldn't be her first encounter, the way her nails dug into the skin of your neck said she got the message. "Who was it with?" The disappointment laced her tone heavily, even with as many times as she'd laid with another, she regarded a kiss more intimately.

"Why ask a question that will only hurt you Nat?" Natasha's jaw clenched, but she kept her temper at bay, not wanting to sound off like a hypocrite would. "It's important to me detka, I deserve this pain."

You contemplated answering her, but were too smart to fall for the bait. You realized that sweet old Maria deserved protection from your stewing bride to be.

"She is irrelevant, just a maid father had hired," you facetiously admitted, "Said that maybe if I learned how to clean from her that maybe I'd be a good wife... I am honestly not sure how he ever bagged my mother. In what world does a Queen clean the fucking castle?"

Natasha gasped, "Y/N, that's not very ladylike..."

"Fuck being ladylike," you mirrored a fond memory, and she couldn't help but to smile, but her eyes grew sad the longer the silence dwelled. "You've changed."

You nodded. "I had no choice. I had to grow up, and when I did I realized life is nothing short of cruel." Natasha hummed and nuzzled her nose to yours. "Does that bother you Nat, that I'm not the same innocent person? I always thought that was why you left..."

"No," she frantically spoke, "I was just being an idiot, too rebellious for my own good, and your heart being caught in the crossfire is my biggest regret to date."

"Biggest regret, hm?" She nodded. "Any others?" Natasha smiled bashfully, her cheeks turning redder than they already were from the current proximity of your bodies. "Not kissing you before the nth hour."

"I'm that good, huh?" Natasha laughed nervously, and you watched as the woman nibbled on her bottom lip. "It's okay to admit it Natasha, it's just you and me."

The redhead surged forward, her forehead collided with yours but you hadn't the time to care about the pain when her lips sought to devour your very own. You once again found your body pressed into the mattress, but this time her tongue took a calculated risk entering your mouth. Once she passed your lips she froze, the feeling and taste of you absolutely drove her mad, and she felt her underwear growing sticky.

Following a natural flow you found your naked bodies were soon pressed together, with your back against the queen sized mattress. Natasha's mind went blank at the feel of you, so she let you take over the kiss that had divulged more so into your collective sharing of breaths as you ground her pelvis down into your own with two firm hands on her silky smooth hips.

Natasha pulled away from your lips with a groan, her back arched and pressed her wetness into yours as she desperately craved more friction against her core. You were ready to grind her hips at a more brutal pace, but then she pressed your hands into the bed and kissed you roughly instead. There was no way she'd be selfish enough to take pleasure before giving you some first.

Her lips naturally traveled down your body, and with each nip of her teeth, or suckle to your bare skin she managed to pull the sweetest of moans from you. It drove her even crazier, her arousal literally dripped onto the sheets beneath her body but she kept her focus solely on you. To taste you was a dream that she had never let go of, and she'd no longer squander.

"Holy shit," you cried as her deft tongue lapped up the moisture that had collected along the slit of your core, it was the softest of stimulation but you still writhed. Having her mouth on your pussy just felt prophetic, her name dripping from your lips like a stolen prayer as she proceeded to dive her muscle deep within you.

Explore as you have, you'd never made yourself feel half as good as her animalistic tongue was doing, which was a bittersweet notion since this was where her obvious experience became a lingering thought.

The sadness dissipated fast though as she tipped your body into a state of unnerving pleasure, your body felt both hot and cold at the same time. The chill in the air had highlighted the beads of sweat on your skin, and sent a sharp shiver down to the base of your spine. It was all too much, and yet, somehow it was not enough.

Natasha greedily slurped up your cum, it was like she couldn't leave her place between your legs until you had stopped spilling for her, which consequently never happened because she continued to overstimulate you. It was only when your hand fought to slip from her weakened grasp to shove her bobbing head away that you were finally able to shakily intake some oxygen.

"I need more," she groaned, her wild eyes bore into your own as she hovered over you in a split second. Even with the overstimulation your thigh clenched at the sight of her hunger. "Please, I need you."

In a moment inspired by pure adrenaline you flipped your bodies and jumped off the bed onto wobbly legs. Natasha grunted as her back hit the mattress, her body was soon propped up onto her elbows so she could find out where you'd gone to in the blink of an eye. Only for her to be met with the glorious sight of you slipping a side of the strap between your puffy, cream coated lips.

Natasha fell back on the bed with a raspy groan being torn from her throat as the deliciously sinful image was permanently etching itself into her mind. Her entrance pulsed with need, warm slick trailed down between the plump cheeks of her ass and she whimpered for you.  You clumsily climbed above her, and pressed your lips to hers, feeling this strong urge to take control, but not knowing exactly how to do that, all you could really do was slip your tongue into her mouth and kiss her into a state of desperation. Her tongue was velvety, and tasted like a mix of something sweet and bitter.

"I-I want to taste you too Nat," you confessed, a bit too intrigued by the taste of you on her tongue to hold any patience, but the redhead also couldn't wait. "After, please, I need you inside now detka, I'm dripping!"

You chuckled softly, "That's a virgin hole angel," your eyes sparkled as you watched her skin flush even more, you would've happily waited the rest of the decade for this if you knew she was going to be so easily flustered. "You have to let me build you up to the stretch," you teased her hole with just the tip and she winced, but before you could pull away she firmly gripped your shoulders and gulped down her fear. "I can take it detka, I've been waiting for so damn long, fuck me."

"Beg," you flatly said, an air of confidence to you that the redhead found alarmingly attractive. "Tell me what you want baby, let mommy give you what you need."

Natasha's entire mind blanked, her eyes frozen in place as she stared up at your smirking face. Something inside of her was clicking, and she didn't know if it was her own desires or seeing you living out yours that got her so hot right now, but she didn't care. The sudden confidence radiated off of you and oozed out of her cunt, her pussy slick enough to push your strap out.

"Mommy please," her nails dug into your flesh and she angrily yanked your face down to hers, the tip and then some of your strap nestled back inside of her and she moaned her own interruption against your cheek. "I, fuck, mommy I need to be full, please, I need it so —."

Natasha's breath hitched as you delicately circled your fingers around her clit, then she huffed the air against your smirk as she sucked even more of you in. It was messy, and loud as her cunt sobbed joyously and her moans echoed throughout the master bedroom. In only five seconds did you have the ability to slip the rest of it inside of her, your lips sloppily landed on her chin as the strap perfectly curved against your walls. A gasp of joy left you both as your slippery cunts kissed, flaps rubbing as the both of your hips jolted in need.

Natasha's eyes rolled as your clit brushed hers, and a low rumble sounded in her chest as the swollen nub was electrified by the merest of grazes. The redhead appreciated the way your hips stilled, allowing her to feel out the stretch of her walls, but then you didn't move and her eyes fluttered open to ponder why.

You were nervous... Her heart absolutely melted.

"Just do what feels natural," she rasped, hands raising to cup your cheeks and pull you in for a needy kiss, her fingers slipped into the base of your hair and tugged, you could feel the urgency rolling off of her as her hips canted off the mattress. You both moaned into the other's mouth, it took you a second to recover from the stimulation; to build your confidence back up so you could properly fuck her like no one ever had before.

All it took was one involuntary twitch of your own hips, she moaned and you suddenly knew how to make this the best night of your lives. Natasha whined as you slid out of her, but then she squealed as you yanked her to the edge of the bed and thrusted right back into her.

"Oh god," Natasha cried, "Mommy it feels so good."

"I know baby," you panted, "Mommy loves feeling you, so wet I didn't even need to prep you for my cock."

Natasha's eyes rolled and slammed shut as she thought of what created the glorious mess between her legs; you—the way you moaned her name, how you tasted and what she wouldn't do to live between your thighs.

"I-I," Natasha couldn't speak, the pleasure building inside of her was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Something she knew she'd only ever feel with you, heat spread from the depths of her pelvis to her heart as she imagined getting a second chance to love you, fairly.

You'd been here before, on the precipice of a release you weren't expecting. Your first time, when you used your strap with her portrait was a tad bit messy.

It felt like you were on fire, and like you needed to pee, but even with the potential of such a thing you couldn't stop the thrust of your desperate hips. It was heavenly. You wanted to see her wait, but not as much as you needed to be the reason she thinks she's dying. So you knew by the confused look on her face that she needed to be given permission. "You need to let go baby."

Natasha whimpered, but her body turned down the offer, it wasn't ready, something was missing.

Your hands firmly gripped the skin of her thigh and used your unexpected strength to push them up and into her chest. The new angle was optimal in bringing you both insurmountable amounts of pleasure. You had hardly any warning as her cum drenched your thighs, her walls held the strap still and caused your end to press even deeper into your sensitive spot.

The moan that left Natasha's throat was carnal, anyone within a hundred feet of the room would know that she just had her soul cleansed. Yours directly followed as your pussy spluttered against hers. They were short, and breathy, the heat of them fanned over her racing pulse point and her body shivered with aftershocks.

For a moment you both panted out of sync, yours were far less refined in comparison with the athletes. It'd made you insecure to think about, but the way her hands roamed over your curves was affirming. When she squeezed your hips and soft skin rippled between her fingers you could feel the way she loved you.

Her lips were on yours the entire time she'd been feeling you up. You nearly busted again just because her lips touched yours, there was not much urgency down below as you devoured her whole up above. Then your hips started rocking slowly, a natural rhythm of the game at hand, but then she whimpered softly and you pulled out of her puffy, glistening core. Tears fell from her eyes and you apologized as she thanked you.

Thanked you for fucking her so well that she could barely remember her own name, but she promised she'd never forget how to scream yours. She was overstimulated, but pushing you anyways, so you silenced her with the side of the strap that was once stretching out your tight, hollowed walls. Her eyes glazed as they rolled back, and you felt liberated.

A hoarse, “Oh fuck,” vibrated around the silicone and you chuckled devilishly, reveling in the foreign power, “Such a slut for a little taste of me, aren’t you kitten?”

Her eyes muddled even further and you felt godly. “Tomorrow you'll be sworn in as the leader of our merging kingdoms," you chuckled, "but look at how quickly you submit to me baby, that's concerning."

Natasha whimpered around the strap, and you smiled broadly. "There, there honey," you coo'd mockingly, tongue flicking over the salty tears trailing down her rosy cheeks. "Mommy will take charge for now..."

You continued to fuck her throat with the strap, it was mesmerizing to see her cry, her eyes glistening, sorta reminding you of a lively leaf beneath a raindrop. It was as if you brought her back to life, you could see the love uncovering beneath her outwardly guarded eyes as they bore into yours. Your Natty was reviving…

But her Y/N not so much, there was an unfamiliar darkness that surrounded you. The love you held for her was there, burning bright, but she could see the unresolved pain trying to dim it, the darkness controlled you and the tenderness was broken, as if it was simply switched off. With every thrust the redhead now gagged, there was a bit of vengeance in your eyes as you drew the reaction from her. You were truly enamored by the experience, you watched as her drool trailed down the sides of her chin and coated the skin of her jawline, staining her with a mix of you and her.

The longer you watched the more interested in getting a taste of her essence you became. Without removing your gaze from hers you lowered your head, tongue flicking out to lick up what you could of her essence, but it had dried some under the rooms dry breeze. It only made sense for you to sink down, the redheads eyes widened in shock, or alarm—maybe it was both.

The warmth of your mouth did the trick in softening her slick, and you moaned at the taste as she gagged, her end being now pressed beyond her throats tight hole. She spluttered as she felt the painful stretch, one would think your goal was asphyxiation, but as she focused on your softer gaze she was able to mirror you as you breathed through your nose. Even in her hazy state it was clear to her that you’d done this before.

Envy gripped her heart as she realized you were the first person to drink from the well she deemed hers. Bittersweet solace wrapped around yours in the same blink of time, you were still so unsure about trusting her again, but you fought the temptation to run. If she was truly back, you could find it in you to stay as well.

Once your lips met you stayed still, the air was charged with a need for more, her green eyes begged for you to kiss her truly, but you made her wait a breath longer. Then you slowly pulled back, your own mess of drool slid down the strap and into the hollows of her cheek. As much as the redhead wanted reprieve, and you, she also found some comfort in the suckling of the plastic.

Once you reached the tip you gripped it with your teeth and abruptly pulled it from her mouth, trails of spit, cum and blood followed and your eyes widened some. But Natasha’s were unwavering as she pulled you down and into a kiss that gave way to her every single fear.

The redhead flipped your positions and pressed even further into you, her lips firmly kept their rightful spot against your own, and the two of you made out like there was no plans for tomorrow. Her love and your pesky frustration bled together as your tongues met.

Natasha wanted to keep going, but it was too much to ask of either of your bodies, so she pulled away after her lungs gave her no choice, and fell on top of you. Silence followed, aside from the soft, labored pants of a job well done. It was eventually Natasha that broke it.

"We've done everything backwards," she whispered against the skin of your throat, you'd barely heard her from where she'd burrowed, but you fortunately did. "That's the price to pay for all other parties decisions."

"I-I was just so mad," she morosely admitted, "they made decisions for us that only we should have."

"I know," you acknowledged with an edge to your tone, discussing this was likely going to be charged with the anger that only just began to settle down in your heart.

"I was upset too Natasha, because I dreamed of the same thing but they tainted it with their diplomatic nonsense. It felt spiteful, as if they knew what I was only just discovering. Using my feelings against me, and then, what I didn’t expect was the next day when I woke up to find you suddenly didn’t want me around.”

“That’s not—, Y/N, of course I wanted you around…”

“Your actions said otherwise, and they only left me shattered and then the foreseen inevitably, alone."

"I am so sorry," she softly cried and you hummed, “I know,” your hand was rubbing her back gently in a soothing manner, your tone a little less on edge now, "I'm trying to forgive you Natty," you admitted, a bit of a fall back from your earlier spoken sentiments. In that prior heated moment it felt resolved, but the more you thought it over, the more you felt she'd need to work towards making this destiny work out harmoniously.

Natasha ached at the realization, no matter the way she preserved herself for you, it obviously wasn't enough. A juvenile thought coming back to bite her in the ass she supposed, but she didn't care about the consequences just as long as she had the chance to make it right. She would do anything to, no matter the cost, whether it be monetary, or her soul; she’d even kill another for you.

"Can I take you somewhere?" Natasha meekly asked after another bout of silence, you’d honestly thought she fell asleep, but she was stewing just the same.

The gala likely ended an hour ago, with your collective parents, yours most certainly begrudgingly, dismissing the crowds in your place, with some excuse, like your need for sleep as the wedding of the century occurs tomorrow. Yet you weren't sleeping, instead you were accepting the invitation from your fiancée, allowing her a chance to get started on fixing your relationship.

Which started with a sweet shower, she washed your body with care, the rag slid over your curves and the love you'd been missing was back as if it never left. A truth of sorts as Natasha only hid her abundant love.

Once the both of you were clean, she guided you over to her tub, and left you to soak your aching muscles for a bit longer in a bubble bath while she set off to plan.

Natasha rummaged through her wardrobe and pulled out a few of her fleece sleep linens. You walked out of the bathroom with only a towel for your hair and the redhead shamelessly stared at your gorgeous body.

"My eyes are up here Natasha," you reminded and she carelessly shrugged, "I know. I'm starting at your tits."

"If you're not ready for my hand in marriage," you began to scold in jest but the redhead swooped you off of your feet and into a silencing kiss instead. She softly laid you onto the fresh sheets and just as gently kissed down your body, her tongue ran through your folds as a tease and you choked on your breath. Natasha just wanted to taste you over the mint of her toothpaste. “I’m ready for everything the world will throw our way just as long as I get to taste your divinity, my queen.”

“Natasha,” you whined and pulled her up so that she could meet your glare, she chuckled as her lips gently pecked your own. “We’ll continue this tomorrow.” She winked, then made quick work to dress you in her navy blue pjs, kissing the skin of your stomach and under boob as she settled the fabric against your skin. Then she slid into her crimson set and guided you into a pair of boots before she helped you sneak out of the castle.

The two of you were hand in hand as you ran across the massive courtyard, nearly tripping over the wet grass while giggling like little kids as you approached the creek that held your fondest memories.  The moonlight was beautifully shining off of the murky water and illuminating your face just right. Natasha tripped as she was stepping over a root, and just as she came to terms with the incoming impact she was fine. Just when she was about to hit the dead shrubbery you hooked your arms beneath her armpits and yanked up.

"I'm already yours Natasha, there's no need to fall." You pushed her petite, muscular frame against the tree and she smiled as the memory of a lost opportunity passed through her mind. Part of her regrets not kissing you back then, but most of her thinks the path that led her to you was just as it should be.

Her lips lovingly met yours, the both of you smiled as you felt the dynamic changing, it was as if all the stars and planets had finally aligned; destiny sealed shut.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff au #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff is an idiot #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #gxg #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha x fem!reader

[lushaletta]

love and its lethal consequences / tom riddle

pairing: tom riddle x fem!reader

content: muggleborn!reader, dark!tom, mild swearing, violence

summary: tom grapples between his dark desires and his unlikely affection for you. it’s deadly.

a/n: part 3 to this lil series :> pls lmk if u guys r enjoying so far!! idk how long i want this to be but we shall see where it goes

read the previous parts: one two

⋆ ࣪.  ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖࣪ ˖࣪ ∗

Tom has decided. And once Tom decides something, nothing will get in his way.

You are to be his.

The murder would be the easiest part of all. Twice, now, he’s done it. First with that disgusting, grumbling Myrtle and second with his nasty father he can’t even be bothered to think about.

Third time is always the charm. He has it all figured out.

“Tommy!” you beam, following the daily routine. You slide over a treacle tart. “You liked these ones last time.”

He accepts the dessert wordlessly. He’s too deep in thought. You grin.

A few more moments of silence pass and you begin to be irritated by the lack of noise. You have to fill the air up somehow. “Have I told you about Murph yet?”

He’s almost sickened by the name itself. So much so that he can’t stomach the lovely tart your mother has made for him. You’re on a nickname basis now? “You have not.”

You haven’t told him anything about this boy, but he already knows everything. He won’t have to worry about this foul beast for much longer, so he’ll tolerate the giddiness in your eyes for now.

“We’ve just gone on a date. I think it went well, you know? He’s sweet. Opens the door for me, matches pace. That type of thing.”

Tom could do that too if that’s what you really wanted. “How wonderful,” he deadpans.

You’d be a fool not to notice the way his eye twitched when you said the word “date” or the poorly hidden sarcasm he laced in his speech.

“I think our next one is this Wednesday,” you continue.

He’s absolutely fucking repulsed. If he didn’t know any better, he’d march on over to that moron’s room and take care of it himself. But there’s a plan, procedure to be followed. And Tom is nothing if not methodical.

“I can’t believe it! The both of us have dates this week. What even are our lives now?” Camilla cheers, leaning back in her seat.

“I don’t think Tom is very happy about mine.”

She raises a brow. “That’s because Murphy isn’t pure. I’m telling you, Riddle’s lot is psychotic.”

“Okay, I’m not a fan of them either, but Tom knows I’m not pure. He’s been perfectly pleasant.”

“He hardly speaks!” she retorts.

You roll your eyes and urge her to continue reading her book. She complies. Camilla’s never been very argumentative.

As she settles in the pages, all entranced by the words, you lean back in your chair. It is a strange twist of fate that you’re now friends with Tom, but despite Camilla’s warnings, you can’t get yourself to leave. It’s a comfortable trap.

“Hello,” Tom says from behind you as you swing your feet on the railings.

You don’t skip a beat. “Hi!”

Tom knows by now that he can’t surprise you.

The echoing chambers of Hogwarts are bathed in soft moonlight, and no one else is around. Tom is usually by himself at this time. You only steal each other’s afternoons.

“You know,” you muse, breaking the comfortable quiet that settled between you. “You’re very important to me.”

Tom clears his throat. He’s never really been important to anyone. He swallows. “Likewise.”

He’s avoiding your gaze. You think it’s cute. His lips quirk into a faint smile, a rare glint of amusement dancing in his dark eyes, but it’s gone as soon as it comes.

Suddenly, you study his face, trying to unravel the mysteries hidden within. He’s more withdrawn recently. Even quieter, if that’s possible. You suppose it has something to do with Murph but you never can be too sure when it comes to him.

“You’re staring,” he says.

“I like the view.” He sighs.

Tom is not a good person. Far from it. Your friend realises it but you don’t. You’re a glimmer of hope in the darkness that threatens to consume him, that’s already consumed him. You’re both refuge from his despair and a constant reminder. He finds solace in your company and he hates it but now he has no choice. He can’t bring himself to kill you. He knows he never will and so it has to be this way.

It will hurt you, undoubtedly. It will make him more terrible than he already is.

Time is creeping up on him. You’re growing closer with that wretched Ravenclaw and the longer he waits, the more you will be affected.

“Murphy Atthill.”

He turns around at the call of his name and can’t help but feel uneasy. Tom’s presence tends to do that. “Riddle? What can I do for you?” he asks politely. He isn’t very good at masking his anxiety.

Tom casts the Killing Curse and he feels the unmistakable split of his soul as he recites haunting Latin incantations. He knows there’s no going back.

A chilling sense of finality looms over him and yet it weighs light on his conscience. All for the better, this is. In fact, it’s a twisted sense of satisfaction that he feels knowing that the deed is done. He knows he’s crossed a line with you from which there is no return,

But Murphy’s eyes lifeless are much prettier that way.

taglist for this series!! @mariamyousef702 @enidths @narwhal-swimmingintheocean @girlogies @unwrittenletter @helalokithor

#🎞 by.ivy #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #hp imagine #harry potter oneshot #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle x reader fluff #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle blurb #tom riddle fluff #tom riddle drabble #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle angst #tom ri​ddle x you #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #dark!tom riddle #tom riddle x reader angst

[niningtori]

see me | chapter four: together (final)

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to accept your fate as hopeless. choi beomgyu has other plans, though. or, beomgyu s your best friend's little brother and he's tired of you treating him like a kid.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending, best friend's brother au

word count: 3.4k (whoa)

notes: hi friends! happy easter to all who celebrate!! sorry this took me a bit to get out. i just love this story and this beomgyu so much i didn't want to rush it. i hope you're all satisfied with how this ends. see end of work for more notes :)

you're so out of it jia can't fucking take it anymore. 

"hello? come back to earth, please," she says, waving her hand in front of your face. "are you ever gonna tell me what the fuck happened with doyoon?"

it's been a few days since your return from the beach. suffice it to say, one painfully awkward drive was spent with you trying not to openly stare at beomgyu and him focusing intently on the scenery outside. 

you're actually a little surprised by her question. you genuinely haven't thought about your conversation with doyoon since you had it — you've simply been too preoccupied by the revelation that beomgyu has feelings for you.

"nothing much, really. he apologized to me and asked to get a drink sometime."

"what the fuck?! what did you say?!" 

"i said no," you reply simply. she's quiet for a moment before her face contorts into a deep frown.

"why do i get the feeling that that's not what's bothering you so much?" 

"because it's not," you admit with a sigh.

"then what is it? you've been weird ever since we got back."

you're torn for a while. how do you explain to your best friend that her kid brother is in love with you? or says he is, at least. 

"... it's about beomgyu. he—"

"oh, so he finally told you, huh?" she interrupts with a knowing look and you're absolutely flabbergasted.

"t-told me what?" you try feigning ignorance. maybe she's got it wrong?

"that he's been in love with you ever since he first saw you."

"how the fuck did you know that?!" you ask incredulously.

"you're my best friend and he's my brother. i know you two too well," she shrugs.

"so you knew this whole time and didn't tell me?" 

"well, to be honest, it was painfully obvious, but i didn't wanna embarrass either of you and it's, frankly, none of my business."

"i... wasn't he just drunk? i don't believe it…” you trail off.

"what do you mean?"

"i mean, he can't really mean it. he doesn't know what he wants. he's just a kid and—" 

"i'm going to stop you right there," she says sternly. "you may be oblivious, but don't you dare dismiss his feelings to make yourself feel comfortable. his feelings are real and he doesn't deserve to have you completely disregard them just because you can't face them." you flinch at her harshness.

"b-but he's never even hinted at it!" 

"never even hinted at it, my ass. that boy was all over you," she snorts. "did you really not notice anything this past week?" your eyebrows knit in confusion as you think back to all of the times the boy (man?) had interacted with you. suddenly, the unassuming touches and glances beomgyu shared with you hit you at a mile a minute. oh god, he was flirting? he was, wasn't he? and you just ruffled his hair and called him cute. 

but you're not done denying, denying, denying.

"i just don't understand. how could he like me when he's always with somebody new?"

"has it ever occurred to you that that's because he wants you to see him as a man and not the child you're so convinced he is?" you fall silent at this. no, it has never occurred to you, but now that she's said it, the puzzle pieces are starting to fit together in the most gut wrenching way.

"so he's been fucking around for years because he wants to prove something to me?"

"more or less, yeah." your head is spinning at this. so his feelings are sincere? 

"i... i don't know what to say."

"i figured you wouldn't," she hums.

"what do i do?" you ask with a newfound sense of panic. this is real. beomgyu actually love, loves you. 

"well, what do you want to do? it all depends on how you feel about him." 

"to be honest, i've never seen him as anything other than a brother," you sigh.

"and what about now?"

"i... i don't know. i'm just confused," you whine, digging your face into your hands and slightly tugging on your hair. when you think of the kiss you two shared, your heart skips a beat and butterflies arise in your stomach. well, that's new.

"honestly, i'll consider that progress. it's better than being brother-zoned." 

"jia!" you exclaim exasperatedly. "you're not helping. the boy i've thought of as a literal brother is in love with me and i've unknowingly treated him like shit for years." 

"yes, but i know and he knows that you didn’t mean it. look, even if you don't like him at all, don't you think he deserves a proper rejection at the very least?"

"you're right," you relent. "you’re always right.”

“well, i know,” she muses. “but before you decide anything, i want you to think about who’s been by your side all these years. when you didn’t have anyone else, who could you count on?”

“i —” you begin. 

“don’t answer yet. just think about it.” and think about it, you do.

-

the more time you’re left to think about what happened with him, the more confused you feel. beomgyu isn’t a child anymore, that much is clear, but does that mean you can undo the near decade of thinking of him as one? he’s handsome, sure, and that kiss nearly knocked you off of your feet, but can you really see him as a partner? as a man?

you’re not really sure. plus, what would happen if it didn’t work out? the choi’s are like family to you. they’re more of a family than your actual family ever was or ever will be. is it really worth gambling such an important piece of your heart for something that could easily end in heartbreak? but then, it’s broken, either way. can you really face the choi family again when you know beomgyu is in love with you and has been for such a long time? no, you can’t. not in good conscience. you’ve, intentionally or not, ignored beomgyu’s feelings for years now and you can’t ask him to bottle them back up for your own comfort.

you decide it's best to just talk to him. 

-

beomgyu doesn’t think that this is a good idea at all, actually. but his friends told him that rotting in his bed and crying like he has been for the past few days is even worse. when they put it like that, it didn't seem right to refuse their suggestion to have a double date with yeonjun. even still, he told them he wasn't ready to see someone new, but they said he was never seeing you in the first place. that sure shut him up. either way, it would be casual and yeonjun just needs a friend for his date's friend.

his "date" is nice enough, but she seems to have not gotten the memo that he's here as a wingman and not much else. she's trying to draw his attention by not-so-discreetly placing her hand on his thigh. gross. he genuinely thought about pretending to have a stomachache to cut the date short, but yeonjun had the bright idea of inviting the girls over after dinner. so now, as he sits on the couch of his and yeonjun’s shared apartment, he prays for god to intervene and end his suffering. 

a knock on the door pulls him out of his thoughts. please, god, let it be the maintenance man telling them they have to evacuate because of a gas leak. he almost jumps out of his seat to get to the door first, but yeonjun is closer and he says he’ll get it. fuck. before he can catch a glimpse of the mystery person at the door, his date speaks again.

“gyu?” the girl asks tentatively.

“mmm?” he says, turning back around to face her.

“do you like me?” she says while, once again, putting her hand on his thigh. alright. enough is enough. usually, he would tell her to beat it and leave it at that, but ever since you told him he doesn’t treat girls the nicest, he’s decided he’ll try to be better. he takes her hand from his lap into his and opts to just be truthful. 

“to be honest, i —” 

“beomie?”

oh, he’d recognize that voice anywhere, even in his sleep. his head whips around almost comically fast and he unintentionally yanks his hand from his date's as he stands straight up.

“w-what are you doing here?” he asks, incredibly flustered.

you should say something, but your eyes can’t help but linger where his hand was joined with the hand of the very lovely girl sitting beside him, even after he’s pulled away. oh my god. you’re interrupting, aren’t you? he’s moved on, but you’re standing there like an idiot. you need to say something. 

“i-i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to intrude,” you choke out. you don’t know why, but you feel like you’re about to cry. you feel so embarrassed. why did you even for a second think that this would play out any differently? 

“everybody out,” beomgyu says firmly. 

“what?” his date asks, genuinely in shock.

“i said, everybody else needs to get out of here. right now. besides you,” he says while gesturing to your pitiful frame.

“gyu, i live here,” yeonjun argues.

“out,” beomgyu repeats. yeonjun lifts his hands in surrender and leads the bewildered girls out of the apartment. 

now it's just you and beomgyu.

after the door shuts, the silence is as unbearable as it is palpable. beomgyu is staring at you with the same intensity as he was the night he confessed to you. you feel so vulnerable — so seen — you honestly kind of wish you had just snuck out with everyone else. 

“beomie, i’m so, so sorry. i didn’t mean to ruin your date. i can go, i just —” 

“do you know what i've noticed about you?” he quietly interrupts. you’re so taken aback, you’re stunned into silence. he sighs before he continues. “the way you say things are okay when someone fucks you over. it’s okay to be mad at me, you know?” 

“beomie, i’m not mad!” you insist. “you’re single, after all. i’m the one who —”

“i’m single, but i still told you i loved you a few days ago. why wouldn’t you be hurt?” once again, you’re left speechless at his maturity. when did he become more mature than you? or was he always this way, and you just never noticed?

“or is it that you just don’t care enough about me to be upset?” he's the one who looks small now and you worry you have the power to break him. he deserves an honest answer, so you think about how you felt when you saw his hand intertwined with that girl’s and your heart feels a nasty pang. 

“i… i am upset,” you pause and process that ugly feeling. “really upset, actually. but not angry.”

“i’m sorry,” he says, not without conviction. “yeonjun needed a date for his date’s friend, and i planned on rejecting her, but i’m really sorry i hurt you.” 

“... it’s alright,” you say carefully. “i understand. and i still think you don’t owe me anything, beomie.”

“but i want to owe you,” he says quietly.

“what do you mean?” you can’t help but ask. 

“i want to owe you. i want to make it up to you, and i want you to make it up to me.” you think you understand what he means. he wants you to make it up to him for not seeing him as he truly is all these years, but you just can’t understand his thinking.

“why?” you ask softly.

“why would you ask when you already know why?” he answers quietly with a sad smile. because he loves you.

“but why? why do you like me? you could have anyone. i’m wishy washy, i’m insecure. i’m just a mess, beomie. and i don’t want you to waste your time with me.” you hate the way your voice shakes. you wish, for once in your life, that you could be brave enough to say what you need to say without hesitating. you feel as small as a child, and in front of beomgyu of all people. but the dynamic you’ve always thought you had is becoming more and more twisted as you realize you’ve been very, very wrong about him, and maybe about yourself, too. beomgyu is not some kid. his feelings are not so easily written off, and that becomes even clearer when he says his next words in a haste. 

“don’t talk about yourself like that,” he says sharply, and his seriousness immediately derails your train of thought. “i’m not looking for anybody else. i… i don’t want anybody else. and i would never, ever feel like my time is wasted with you. every moment i spend with you is important to me.” you don’t mean for your eyes to get hot. truly, you don’t, but the boy’s words are so kind you’re unable to control yourself. 

“you really love me?” you ask at the risk of seeming annoying. you just have to be sure. 

“i do,” he says patiently. “i always have.” he isn’t sure what to make of you asking this. he has no hope now, but if it makes you feel better to hear him say he loves you a million times over, so be it. you’ve been hurt enough all your life, from your parents to your partners, if he’s able to comfort you even just a little bit, even if it’s never reciprocated, it’s enough for him. so he continues. 

“i’m… i’ve always thought about how to say this, so i’m sorry if it’s just too much for you. if it is, then just stop me, okay?” you can’t help but nod. “i just have to say that, to me, you are the most beautiful person in the world. i’ve wanted to tell you that since i was 14. i know you’re sad and i know you’ve been hurt before, and i wish i could take it all away. i’ve always wished i could take it all away. i know you think you deserve everything that’s happened to you so far, but i want you to know that that's not true, and it kills me that you’ve ever felt that way. i love everything you say you hate about yourself, because you’re you. i know you want to change, and i want you to know that i see how hard you’re trying. those flaws that make you a mess, or however you put it, only make me love you more because i can see how hard you’ve worked to get where you are. and if you don’t love me, even if you never do, that’s… it's okay. i just want you to be happy. and if i can be selfish, i want to be the one who helps you get there.” 

you don’t try to stifle your tears anymore. they are now flowing freely and your breath is heavy in your throat. he understands you. he sees you for everything that you are and were, and everything that you’re trying to be. has anyone ever made you feel this safe before? has anyone ever made you feel this loved and understood? 

you think back to what jia asked. when you didn’t have anyone else, who could you count on? if you didn’t trust any man in the world, you could trust beomgyu. that’s just how it is. you realize, even from the first night you met him, you’ve always been relying on him, in a way. why else would you feel so comfortable telling him about your anxieties mere hours after you spoke to him for the first time? 

things were one way then, but they could be different now. beomgyu loves you in a way that previously seemed inconceivable to you. what did you do to deserve this boy — this man? not a fucking thing, in your opinion, but now that you know how he really feels, is it possible to accept anything less than the love he is now presenting to you? maybe he’ll wake up one day and regret everything he’s said up until now, but you’re far too selfish to give up the heart he’s begging for you to take as your own.

you don’t know why, but you fling yourself into his arms, reminiscent of how you did all those years ago when he was just a teenage boy and you were just a heartbroken girl. he holds you like he did before, with an overwhelming sense of patience and security. he traces his hands lovingly up and down your back. 

“okay. okay, i want to try. i can’t promise that i’ll be perfect, i can’t even promise to be good, but i’ll try, okay? you’re so, so good, beomie. and i'm sorry for not realizing it sooner.”

he pulls away from your embrace and your cheeks feel hot when you catch his heated gaze. he looks down at you and if his look wasn’t enough, his next words certainly are:

“can i kiss you?”

“yes, beomie,” you whisper. 

"call me gyu," he says hoarsely. you gulp and pray he doesn't hear it.

he softly, reverently, pushes your stray hairs behind your ears and you realize he’s done so many times before. mainly when you were sad, but this time is… different. when his lips lock with yours, you're stunned into oblivion. there's so much fire behind it, but still, there’s a gentleness you’ve never known. as if he’s afraid of breaking you, he holds you like you’re a precious gem. usually, kisses are take take take from you, but he gives you so much love and care you feel like you’re floating. is this what love is supposed to feel like? so safe and so, so warm? 

he parts from you far too soon for your liking. his breath is labored and his cheeks are flushed. you look at him in confusion.

“i-i’m sorry, i just can't. if we keep going, i won't be able to control myself. i'm gonna —” 

“it's okay, gyu,” you whisper. “we can keep going.” he understands what you mean without you having to say anything more.

“are you sure?” he asks, just to be safe.

“i'm sure,” you answer without missing a beat. his lips curl up and he leads you to his bedroom, hand holding yours so tightly, it’s almost like he’s afraid to lose you.

-

the night is spent with beomgyu praising you like he’s never seen anything quite like you before. you feel his devotion with every passing moment and you can’t believe this is what you’ve been missing all these years. you’ve never felt so good, so cared for, in all your life. when you’re finished, and he’s cradling you in his arms, you’re both struggling to catch your breath. he looks at you like you hung the moon, but what you don’t know is that you’re starting look at him like that, too.

-

you’re so anxious. as you pull up to the choi’s family home in the passenger’s seat of beomgyu’s car, you can’t help but wring your hands together. this could be very good, or very, very bad. you can’t help but feel like you’re… betraying? the choi family by dating beomgyu. they’ve taken you in as family, but you’ve taken beomgyu as your own. do you regret that decision? well, you can’t say you do when beomgyu grabs your restless hands and comfortingly squeezes them before telling you “hey, it’s alright. don’t be nervous. i love you. they love you. everyone here loves you. just be yourself and i’ll take care of the rest, okay?” 

“okay,” you say shyly. you and beomgyu have been working on your self esteem. it was pretty slow going at first, but you’ve been pushing through. now, after three months, you’re a lot better, but there’s still room for improvement. beomgyu is nothing if not patient, though. after all, he’s been waiting for 8 years. how could he not be? and so he patiently coaxes you out of the car and into the house.

you two find your way inside and are greeted by his parents, jia, and yijun. nobody bats an eye at you two walking in together — they just greet and hug you as per usual, but their smiles drop and their faces turn serious when beomgyu announces he has something to tell everyone.

“guys, uh, we have something to tell you all,” he says, lacing his fingers with yours, “we’re together now.” you could hear a pin drop with how quiet the room is. mrs. choi is the first to break the silence.

“h-how long? how long has this been going on?” 

“three months,” he says cautiously. again, the room is silent.

“... only three? damn it!” mr. choi exclaims.

“i told you guys it hasn’t been very long,” jia sneers. “now pay up.” beomgyu’s parents grimace while pulling out their wallets and stuffing cash in jia’s hands.  

“pleasure doing business with you,” she teases with a shit-eating grin.

“um, guys? what’s going on? i’m kind of pouring my heart out over here,” beomgyu says irritatedly. 

“oh, honey. we know. we’ve known you liked her since she first stepped foot into our home. she was the only one who didn’t,” mrs. choi replies with a wave of her hand and your cheeks can’t help but heat up to an impossible degree. beomgyu finally pieces everything together while you’re still scrambling to understand what’s going on.

“oh my god, did you all make a bet to see how long it’d take for us to get together?!” beomgyu exclaims.

“more or less,” mr. choi says nonchalantly. realistically speaking, you and beomgyu should be angry, but all you two can do when you lock eyes with each other is laugh. 

“so you’re okay with it?” you ask meekly.

“of course we are!” mrs. choi says. “we couldn’t ask for a better match for our boy. we were just waiting for you to see that, too.” you can’t help but feel your eyes go sour. you hug his parents and they rub your hair. why would you think they’d do anything other than accept you? they always have.

that night, after all the board games and movies and laughter, you go out for some fresh air. you aren’t surprised in the slightest to see beomgyu sitting on the back porch steps, almost as if he’s been waiting for you. 

“there you are,” beomgyu says with a grin blooming on his face. you sit next to him, so close your thighs are touching. you lean your head against his shoulder and you sigh in contentment.

“that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asks.

“not at all,” you smile, “but did everyone in the world know about us besides me?”

“pretty much, yeah,” he giggles and you playfully smack his chest. after your laughter dies down, beomgyu senses some hesitation from you. it feels like you want to say something to him.

“what is it?” he asks. you pull away from him and stare into his eyes. they look especially starry tonight.

“i have to tell you something,” you say, voice trembling slightly.

“mhm?” he nods.

“i think… actually, i know i love you, gyu. and i’m sorry it took me so long to get here, but i really do.” your eyes water when you see beomgyu’s doing the same. he looks so relieved, as if your words in particular are the ones he’s been waiting for all his life. and they are.

“i love you, too, if you haven’t guessed that already,” he says softly. “and i’d do everything all over again if it meant i’d get to be with you like this.” his eyes close and he leans in. you meet him halfway and press your lips together in a chaste kiss.

notes pt. 2: and that's it for them! i actually wrote a bit of smut for this, but i don't think it'll ever see the light of day i fear. as always, feedback is appreciated! i'd love to know what you all think :)

masterlist

#niningtori #see me #txt angst #beomgyu angst #beomgyu #txt beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu x you #beomgyu fic #txt #txt fic #tomorrow x together #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt headcanons #txt fluff #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu headcanons #beomgyu fluff

[eggyrocks]

𖦹track seventeen: all this love𖦹

m.list

kuroo doesn't know how he got here.

first it was the lunch. it was supposed to be coffee, but by the time they were both showered and functional, lunch fit the timeframe better. he got there first. she was late like she usually is, not that kuroo was expecting anything different. they exchanged tales and recountings of the night before and were so caught up with each other they kept forgetting to look at the menu. kuroo got water. she got another beer. she twisted her mouth into a pout whenever she didn't want to get caught smiling at something he said. he openly threw his head back and laughed.

then it was the ice cream. she was craving it, and kuroo was inclined to oblige her and her whims. she ordered for both of them and then bumped her hip into kuroo to knock him out of the way and keep him from paying. they kept getting uneasy looks from others in the shop. maybe it was kuroo's tall and imposing stature or maybe it was her intimidating aura and the way she looked so in line with her subculture. either way, she didn't notice. or if she did, she didn't let on. just dipped her spoon into kuroo's ice cream and told him he had bad taste, and hers was much better.

then, it was her place. she bragged about her collection of old video games she shares with her roommates and kuroo told her that, since she kept going on about it, he just had to see it now. she couldn't just leave him hanging like that. and he ended up on her couch, his thigh pressed against hers as she destroyed him in some vintage game he'd never even heard of before.

and now, it's this.

all of his focus is on keeping his breathing even and not choking on his spit. he's sitting cross-legged on the floor of her bathroom as she sits on the edge of her bathtub, elbows on her knees, leaning in towards him. far too close for him to think of anything but the warmth of her fingers as she holds his earlobe in place and uses a black sharpie to mark him. seemingly random items are laid out beside her. alcohol wipes, saline water, an apple slice, a cup of ice cubes, silver studs, and an intimidatingly thick sewing needle.

did she bring up piercings or did he? he can't really remember exactly how the conversation went, and he's unsure if he asked for this or if she suggested it. all he knows is that she told him he'd look good with pierced ears, and now he is patiently awaiting the needle.

nishinoya is leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "do not let her do this to you man," he says, half disapproving and half amused. "it's gonna get infected."

"shut the fuck up noya," she mumbles, fire of the words buried by her concentration. she leans back and rips open an alcohol wipe that was resting beside her, only to lean back in and use it to clean the soft skin of kuroo's ear. "you got your nipples pierced on a dare."

"yeah, and it was a mistake," her friend counters. "i'm trying to save him from my same fate. kuroo, look within yourself and ask yourself if you really trust her to pierce your ears."

he does. and he does. "she knows what she's doing," he replies easily, watching as she reaches for an ice cube and presses it back against his ear.

there's a scoff from the doorway, and kuroo doesn't twist around to see but he can hear nishinoya's footsteps as he retreats from the doorway. "this is gonna numb your ear a little bit, but you'll still probably feel it," she says, voice thick with focus. she then replaces the ice cube with the apple slice, and places it on the backside of his ear. "you ready?"

"ready," he confirms, and her hand grabs the sewing needle.

the sharp tip of the needle is pressed against his skin, right where she drew the mark. but kuroo can't feel it. not really. she looks him in the eye and grins broadly, "on three," she says.

kuroo does not believe her.

"one," she starts her countdown, and keeps grinning in a way that's hardly reassuring, "two," she counts, slower now, "three."

he flinches, squeezing his eyes shut and expecting the pain to come. but instead, she leans in closer to him, and leaves a warm, soft kiss on the center of his forehead. kuroo's eyes shoot open in surprise, and that's when she plunges the needle through his skin.

kuroo doesn't feel it at all. he doesn't feel anything but heat where she kissed him. kissed him with the same lips that she bites down on now, working the silver jewelry through the new and bleeding hole that exists in his right ear.

once it's secure. she leans back and examines her handiwork. "it looks good on you, if you ignore the blood," she compliments. "wanna do the other one?"

kuroo would've agreed to anything she said, just then. he nods, and she smiles.

an: sorry this was a wittle shorter but i rlly like it so

taglist: @nnnyxie @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @localgaytrainwreck @macchiatomegumi @hikikaimar @noodleswastaken @garden-of-bri @rinaheartss @infinitelytimebound @scxrcherr @ahseyy @eyes-ofhell @sleepy-time @polish-cereal @literally-a-ferret @crownj1min @sereniteav @kozuskitten @02shuuu @rasisarchive @marzzn @barricadesenthusiast @yvjitadori @yeehawslap @phoenix-eclipses @wyrcan @rieieieieieiei @thechaosoflonging @publicbathroompanic @bedeater @rottingt1tz @rintarawr @deluluforcarlos55 @cherrypieyourface

#haikyuu smau #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu texts #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #hq x you #this is my kuroo smau #kuroo tetsuro smau #kuroo smau #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #hq kuroo #kuroo testuro #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro fluff #Spotify

[norman-fucking-reedus]

More GirlDaddy Daryl cause the love I have for him is actually not funny

I thought of a name a longgg time ago for his daughter that I think is super cute, It was gonna be Darylina but then I thought how Daryl would hate that THEN I thought how DARYL would make CAROL the grandma so obviously Carolina is the perfect name

She’d be called Lina for short, Carol as a joke and Carolina when shes in buttfuck trouble (which teenege Lina gets into a lot of but shes her mothers child)

I feel like she’d be a total badass, a good balance between Daryl badass and Y/n badass. She’s a hardcore daddys girl so by age ten she was already mastering the Dixon way of hunting.

“Ya got light steps naturally, let’s keep em tha’ way kiddo”

“Okay daddy!”

Lina would be more like Daryl as a kid, and I feel like Daryl was a rowdy kid.

She practically bounces off the walls from the assigned hours of too early in the morning to too late in the evening. Getting jumped on before he gets out of bed wasn’t exactly on Daryl’s bucket list (but he wouldn’t have it any other way)

Yes, she constantly climbs onto her father like a cat. No, there’s nothing he can do to get her squealing giggling frame off him. His only option is to accept his fate and play 21 questions directly over his shoulder.

“Lina! M’working, get offa me”

“Wha’cha workin’ on?”

“Stuff”

“Wha kinda stuff?”

“Adult stuff”

“Wha kinda adult stuff?”

Daryl uses her whenever he works on his bike, and his massive fingers can’t fit to reach something. She feels very important when her tiny fingers reach it, and she lets Daryl know how very useless he is.

“Daddy yer not gonna be able to fight if ya can’t fit yer fingers in stuff”

“Really? Damn. Good thing yer gonna protect me”

“No daddy, yer have to protect yerself because m’gon go protect mommy”

“Tha’s good idea, mommy can’t protect herself”

“But mommy can fit her fingers in stuff”

“Then why ya protectin’ her ‘nd not me?”

“Because I like mommy”

“I like mommy more”

Oh maybe I should mention they bicker over EVERYTHING. And guess who has to be the tiebreaker?

“Babe! Tell this rat tha peanut butter is indefinitely better than tha jelly!”

“Daryl she doesn’t even know either of those are and everyone knows jelly over butter”

“See mommy is always right!”

“Are ya cheatin’ one me??”

There’s a very strong love-hate relationship between him and teenage Lina, especially when hormones start to change and tempers flare.

Once again, Lina is a mini Daryl and Y/n, so when she shoots back during arguments, she’s aiming for the head.

“For tha last time, no. Too dangerous and m’not gon be able ta keep an eye on ya. End of discussion, quit pushin it”

“M’not a fucking kid anymore. I didn’t want ya keepin’ a damn eye on me in tha first place?!”

“Gettin real ballsy there little girl, I said wha’ I said”

“Ballsy? Little? Clearly I got more balls than ya since yer too fuckin’ scared to take me”

“Carolina. Wherever this is comin’ from, cut it the fuck out.”

“I’m gonna cut you the fuck out.”

“Scuse me?“

“Good luck on the battlefield when ya can’t even fuckin’ hear”

After every hard slam of her door, Daryl is left to stand in the deafening silence feeling like an utter failure.

Obviously, he gives her the time to decompress before going to apologize, this time with his crossbow in hand.

The door creaks slightly open before all the way, however there’s no little girl that comes running out into his arms. She stands tall in front of him, mirroring his expression of anxious discomfort.

“Ya stay close, no matter what. Understand?”

“Okay”

Daryl hands her the crossbow.

“Look- I know yer not a kid, but yer still my kid. Yer gon always be m’little girl an yer growin’ up scares tha livin’ shit out of me”

“Ya’ve killed people.. isn’t tha’ scary?”

“Wha’s scary tha’ if I didn’t kill ‘em they might’ve killed ya”

Lina hugs him tearfully.

“M’sorry fer arguin’ with ya”

“Nah, m’sorry fer not givin’ ya a chance”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

(Daryl’s inner child definitely gets healed each time after apologizing and talking it out. He breathes so much better and just feels so much better AUGH my baby)

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #norman fucking reedus #daryl x reader #daryl x female reader #twd #daryl dixion imagine #twd daryl dixon #daryl twd #twd daryl #daryl imagines #daryl x you #daryl x y/n #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic