#''suppose the jello didn't set!''

[void-wolfie]

How'd You Do That?

summary: you have a panic attack right before your first premiere. [request]

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: panic attack, my terrible writing (let me know if I need to add anything)

words: 1.5k

a/n: this is one of the rare times where I can say it took me so long to get to a request because I had too many ideas. I was watching my favorite show the other day and they use this idea and I couldn't stop thinking of a Jenna x R scene with it (bonus points if you know what show it's based off of)

*disclaimer; please don't use this tactic to stop a panic attack, it could actually make things worse. I only wrote it like this because it's fiction and cute.

"You did it, kid,"

Those were the first words out of your dad's mouth when he called you.

You did it.

The words bounced around in your head, filling you with excitement and dread. There was a pit in your stomach, and you had the urge to puke, you weren't sure if that was a good thing or not.

You did it.

That was a year ago, news had just gotten out that you'd be in a new summer film, set to co-star with none other than Miss Jenna Ortega herself. At the time, you were a no-name actor. You'd been in a few small things here and there, a few supporting roles. But you were nothing compared to the young sensation herself.

You'd gotten a rocky start; you were an anxious mess at the start of filming. But who wouldn't be when they were sitting so close to their celebrity crush.

Somewhere along the way, the anxiety faded. She wasn't The Jenna Ortega anymore; she was just Jenna. She wasn't the actress you'd been looking up to since the start of your career, but a pretty girl with a million freckles and a love of dad jokes. She became your best friend. The girl you'd call at one am to confess all your worries to, the girl who'd call you every day and made sure you ate because sometimes you'd forget, the girl who didn't know a lick of Spanish yet could still pull off the most amazing accent, and the girl you would text first thing every morning.

You sat in the car, wringing your hands nervously.

You were supposed to get out of the car five minutes ago, but you couldn't. Your legs felt like Jello and your vision was spinning just a bit.

All that filming and it was finally the moment of truth. The day of the premiere. Would people like you? Would they like the movie? What if your acting was terrible? You'd never been to a premiere like this before, what if you embarrassed yourself? Or-

You were freaking out. You could hear your heartbeat thumping in your ears, erratically beating in your chest. It felt like someone had knocked the air out of you, squeezing your lungs and making it impossible to breathe. And your hands; they were clammy and cold, yet somehow also hot, and they wouldn't stop shaking.

Jenna was sitting next to you in the car, tinted windows hiding the two of you from the sea of flashing cameras outside. She had been through her fair share of premieres. She knew what to expect, she knew how to act and what to do. You on the other hand, you'd never been to one. She'd been watching you with worried eyes all day, watching as your anxiety built as the day went on.

"Hey, it's going to be alright," She grabbed your hands, interlocking your fingers with hers. She'd hoped the physical contact might help calm you, but it didn't seem to ease your nerves.

Your eyes flitted down to your hands interlaced with Jenna's, her black nail polish contrasting against her tan skin.

Being close to Jenna always made you feel better, yet it didn't seem to be helping this time.

Your anxiety was at an all-time high, crippling you from the inside out. Your throat squeezed a little tighter as if you weren't struggling to breathe enough already.

"I'll be right there with you the whole time, ok?" She squeezed your hands reassuringly, but it didn't do anything to quell the raging storm inside.

Your eyes traveled back to the window. The flashing lights, the reporters circling like ravenous vultures, the way the other actors were already out there making everything look so easy while you were in the midst of a breakdown... It was too much...

Your breathing got a little more ragged, shallow uneven breaths wracking your chest. You closed your eyes, focusing on just trying to calm down.

Jenna's eyebrows scrunched in confusion, watching the way your chest heaved and hands squeezed hers tighter. It only took her a few seconds to figure out what was happening, she wasn't any stranger to panic attacks.

"Breathe with me. In and out," She exaggerated her breathing, trying to encourage you to slow your own, "In and out,"

But you couldn't, no matter how hard you tried. The feeling of not being in control of something as simple as breathing made you panic even more.

"I- I can't-"

"Hey, look at me," you felt her finger under your chin, tilting your face to look at her. But you made sure to keep your eyes shut. You didn't want to look into those big brown eyes and show her just how vulnerable you were, you'd rather suffocate.

"y/n, please," her voice cracked ever so slightly, composure dropping for just a split second. She was worried about you. Worried about how you were spiraling out of control, and you wouldn't let her help.

Her mind was blank, not sure what to do. She had one idea left, though she wasn't sure if it'd help or make things entirely worse, "I have an idea, do you trust me?"

If this backfired... Well, she didn't want to think about that.

You nodded, still attempting to calm down. Your nerves felt like they were on fire as you struggled to breathe, your heartbeat still thumping loudly in your ears.

A second passed. Then two. You were about to open your eyes to see what bright idea Jenna had when a pair of lips smashed against yours.

The whole world stopped. All you could focus on was the pair of soft lips pressed against yours and the warm hand cupping your cheek.

Wow.

She pulled away and the world stood still.

Everything felt quiet. That nagging voice in the back of your skull wasn't there. The sound of your heartbeat echoing in your ears had dimmed. Even the sound of the crowds outside seemed much smaller.

Jenna didn't think her idea would work. But you already seemed a bit better. Your hands had stopped shaking so violently and your breathing had mostly returned to normal.

"y/n?" Now Jenna was the one panicking. What if she just ruined your friendship? She couldn't lose you...

Your mind was strangely quiet for once. And you were only aware of two things. Firstly, wow. Secondly, do it again.

"y/n?" Jenna's voice finally pulled you from whatever trance you were in.

"Would it be wrong, to ask you to do that again?" Your eyes were still closed. Part of you was scared to open them again. What if you opened them and she wasn't there? What if it was all just a dream?

Jenna wasn't sure how to answer that. Would it be wrong? The two of you were coworkers after all. But she didn't really care.

It took her a second to think about what you were asking, and even less than that to throw the question out the window and kiss you again.

It was soft, simple, and sweet. It was everything you could ever ask for from a second kiss.

The minute Jenna pulled away all you could think of was the missing warmth. The way it felt like finding your other half just to be ripped apart.

Silence filled the air, neither of you sure who would speak first.

"How'd you do that?" You finally relaxed, opening your eyes to find her big brown ones looking back, full of concern and adoration.

"Do what?"

"You stopped my panic attack,"

"I read somewhere that getting someone to hold their breath can stop a panic attack, when I kissed you, you held your breath," you couldn't help but notice the small blush spread across her cheeks.

"Did you mean it? Like, did you want to kiss me?"

"Would it be wrong of me to say I did?"

Your eyes lit up. She wanted to kiss you? Does that mean she likes you?

Shouting and cheering from outside caught the attention of you and Jenna, heads darting over to the window to watch the cheering crowds outside; all of them oblivious to what just happened between you and your co-star.

"We have to go, don't we?" You were a bit disappointed. You didn't want to leave the safety of the car, you wanted to talk this out with Jenna.

"Unfortunately," Jenna noticed the pout that took over your features, the way you gripped her hand a bit tighter for comfort, "But I'll be right there the whole time, ok? And we can even leave early if you want."

You nodded, still not exactly happy to be going, but going with Jenna was better than going solo.

Jenna pushed open the car door. Instantly flashing lights and people calling yours and Jenna's names filled the air. You could feel the anxiety bubbling up again. But just as quickly as it started, it went away. Jenna's hand gave yours a little squeeze, reminding you she was right there.

#jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #void-wolfie

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

Heyyy you were asking for recs for the Fire Breathing Roommate right???

Imagine Mitsuki coming to reader and Katsuki’s apartment for his birthday and reader’s like who is THIS goddess at my doorstep like- And Katsuki’s like: Babe- that’s my mother.

I just think it would be SO FUNNY to try to celebrate Katsuki’s birthday the way humans do - because I bet dragons celebrate them very differently. So when reader gives him a big wrapped box and a cake that’s ON FIRE he’s like OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING

oh my god. you are literally a GENIUS THIS IS SOOOO GOOD AND HONESTLY ADORABLE !!! i had sm fun writing this n i hope you enjoy ! <3 if you guys have any more fbbcXtra requests, feel free to send em to me !! ps. this was way longer than i planned it to be which is funny cus this is supposed to be a mini extra's series, but oh well ! i had fun writing ! and i hope you enjoy reading as well !

♡ extra #2 : birthday battle ♡

in which : you celebrate katsuki’s birthday but you end up getting a surprise.

you wake up like usual in the morning, enjoying your day off as you laze around in bed, shuffling the most you can with the big dragon man’s arms around you, snuggly trapping you in his snake like hold and his tail warm and draped on top of your legs beneath the sheets.

just like usual, except things are a little different today and you crack a smile when you manage to free your head from his iron grip.

today is katsuki’s birthday.

he'd told you about it a few month ago in passing, and ever since you found out you'd planned everything meticulously, hence your day off, so you could make his first birthday here as memorable as possible.

you look up at his relaxed sleeping face with a soft smile, before pressing a small kiss to his chin. then another one to his nose and you giggle quietly when his nose twitches. he grouses quietly in response when you lean up and kiss him again, the corner of his mouth, his cheeks and the ones on his eyelids make him grumble. his arms around your waist squeeze.

"s'too early fer you to be botherin' me, human.." the blonde man slurs. one of his red eyes opens to peek at your smiling face, your smile widening seeing him awake. you press another kiss to the tip of his nose and he grunts in appreciation.

"s'never too early to wish a happy birthday to my dragon man." you croon. katsuki closes his eyes at your affection, but his eyebrows furrow in confusion and his grip on you gets tighter somehow.

"that's what you woke me up for ?"

"of course it is, it's your birthday !" he flops down onto his back on the bed and you break out of his hold to sit up, leaning on your shoulder to watch him. he throws an arm over his eyes but the one closest to you feels around the bed for you.

"babe, it's really not that big of a deal." he utters simply.

he'd told you, and you'd assumed, that dragons celebrate and see birthdays way differently than humans do. it's somewhat of a celebration, but not for very long. dragonshifter where usually raised to be able to hold their own; being taught to be indepented and skilled fighters from a very young age.

"it depends from faction to faction," is what he'd said, "but birth celebrations usually don't last any longer than a few minutes. and we don't do whole birthdays like you do. most ya get is a pat on the back and the most to eat for dinner." he had shrugged. a frown pulled at your face and he smirked at you, ruffling your hair as he told you not to get 'all mopey' for him, and that he didn't mind. but in that moment your mind was set.

you'd get him to experience a human birthday. and it'd be his best one ever.

you pout at him, nudging his arms and he groans despite only barely budging like jello. "it is a big deal ! i wanna be able to celebrate with you." you place your head on his chest. he lifts his arm just a bit to look at you. "birthdays are so much fun, i wanna show you that..i planned everything out too-"

"you planned this out ?" he squints.

"-pleaseee ?" you plead, ignoring his earlier question. the blonde huffs out a large sigh and covers his eyes again.

"fine. what am i g'nna do with you ?" he concedes to himself quietly, but he grabs at your waist and pulls at it, signalling for you to shuffle up towards him. you do, until your face to face with him and he sighs again, eyes softened.

"since it's my birthday, i can do what i want right ?"

"mostly, yeah. no burning anyone though." you poke his nose and giggle when he scoffs a sharp click of his teeth in annoyance.

"whatever, how 'bout you just let me sleep in then ?" he snarks.

"i can do that." you grin back at him and he tries to lean in just enough to bite your nose, but he doesn't lean far enough and simply throws his head back in defeat. you laugh and since it's his birthday, you'll let him have it, so you lean in a bit closer to his face. he takes a modest chomp at your nose and you roll your eyes with a huff at the tired smirk on his face like he'd won some type of prize. and despite his sleepy eyes he still manages to lean in again to rub his nose against yours in lazy greeting. you close your eyes and sigh at his ministrations.

but of course, your katsuki cannot live with himself if his not being a little shit and he yawns in your face. you smack a hand over his mouth and groan in disgust. he just laughs into your hand, then he bites at your palm.

"can you be not-insufferable for at least five minutes after you wake up ?" you whine, childishly wiping your hand onto his tank top.

"no can do baby, s'my birthday." the shit eating grin on his face almost makes you regret introducing him to the concept of human birthdays as a whole. almost though, because unfortunately this absolute demon man has your heart fitted nicely into the palm of his hand.

"you are truly something else." you grumble. katsuki snickers at your annoyance. "mhmm. hurry up an' gimme a kiss." he says but doesn't even give you a chance to respond when he grabs the back of your head and brings you to his lips, you don't put up much resistance either. he makes a forced face when you pull away.

"your breath smells like shit."

"you should absolutely not be talking."

the day has been going extremely well. you'd done what katsuki wanted today. which consisted of sleeping in. having his favorite for breakfast and some birthday pancakes, courtesy of you, which he gobbled up in the blink of an eye. watching his favorite movie to make fun of at the moment and taking a nap again. before going out for a birthday lunch and a (extremely tiring) hike all before dinner. the dinner and hike where set up by you. you could tell he enjoyed the activities even if he hadn't knocked his forehead to yours with a kiss to your forehead and a big blush on his face as thanks, but it was a very nice plus.

katsuki's lazing around on the couch asking you which show you want to watch while you're busying yourself with his secret chocolate fudge birthday cake. you plan to give it to him later tonight. you hide it behind a big tupperware box after checking to see if it was still intact. "just pick whatever !" you call loud enough for him to hear. carefully placing the bakery box back behind all of the other foods.

"i can't pick whatever, 'ts why i'm asking you !" you roll your eyes at his sass, a smile pulls at your face at the idea of a little revenge.

"it's your birthday, so figure something out !" you sing, he doesn't respond but growls loud enough for you to faintly hear it, and soon enough you hear a bunch of netflix prequels playing in quick succesion. you can't help but giggle.

then you hear the doorbell ring. and then again, longer and louder. it's way louder than you ever thought was possible and you wondered if it was maybe time to change some type of batteries or maybe have your boyfriend fix it for you.

"ugh, i'll get it !" you groan. you mutter a bitter 'yeah, yeah, i'm coming.' at the door. sachi definitely doesn't ring your doorbell like..that. and the only friend of katsuki's who'd probably ring the doorbell like this is kaminari, since for some reason he seems to be fixated on loud noises and specifically the noises your doorbell makes.

then you swing your door open and your met with katsuki. except a little bit taller and also a woman.

you have to blink to realise that that's not your katsuki at the door because he's already inside scrolling through shows and movies. rather, it's someone who looks extremely similar to him. the same blonde hair and same piercing red eyes and that same hardened stare. and of course, those fiery red horns and matching tail, altough hers was a little slimmer. she's extremely gorgeous.

you blink and gasp, words won't come out and the woman simply stares like she's analyzing you. you think you see the tiniest of smiles break into her face but you turn your head too quickly to tell.

"katsukiiiii !" you call "there's a very gorgeous dragon lady here who looks exactly like you ! "

in an instant it's like he teleported over to you, already in a fighting stance until he realizes who's at the door and you presume she's here for, and knows, him. his shoulders slum forward and an almost guilty expression crosses his face when he sees your widely blown eyes.

"do you know her???" you whisper yell. you forget the woman is right in front of you and can most definetly hear you, not to mention her superior hearing. katsuki exhales.

"babe.." katsuki winces apologetically "that's..my mom."

huh????

katsuki's mom hasn't stopped touching you since she got here 10 minutes ago.

from what you'd heard from your boyfriend his mother was a ruthless, aggressive stubborn and strict 'old bat' (you quickly scolded him about the way he adressed his mother) but from what you're experiencing now, this was anything but the case, though katsuki had the habit of being quite the unreliable narrator.

because ever since you'd brought her into your apartment, she has not gotten her hands off of you. to the great displeasure of your boyfriend, who's sitting on the kitchen chair glaring at the tv with his head resting against his palm and tapping his foot. when you'd went to bow to greet her she quickly scooped you up in her arms, shaking you around in her arms like a ragdoll with such force katsuki growled at her to let you go. you can't tell if being so affectionate is truly a dragon thing or if it runs in the family.

"oh aren't you just such a sweetheart !" she squeals, grabbing onto your shoulder to bring you closer to her and you squeak at the force. her slit eyes scanning over every corner of your face and she hums.

"mhmm, very good.." she pinches your cheeks between her pointer and thumb and tilts your face around, continuing to exam you. "oh, and so soft an' squishy too, like a little dumpling !" she coo's, smiling softly at you. she's a little rough, but she means well, you think. at least that's what you try to think when she suddenly grabs at your jaw to pry your mouth open. you let out a surprised gutteral noise but mitsuki doesn't seem the least bit fazed, she keeps humming to herself like a doctor. it's stupid but you're a little embarrassed because you'd recently eaten and you don't think your breath smells the best, she doesn't seem to mind that either.

"hmm..teeth aren't very sharp though.." she pouts, before a smile shines back onto her face as if to reassure you "that's okay though, sweetheart ! we can probably do something about that-"

suddenly a hand grabs at the woman's wrist and pulls her away from you and it's none other than katsuki. you smack a few times to readjust the slight pain in your jaw and you look up to see the two shifters in a heated stare down. it kinda looks ike a mirror trick because they're just so similar, it almost makes your head spin.

"quit touchin' on her old hag, at the rate you're going you'll break her fuckin' jaw." katsuki spits, dropping his mom's wrists with furrowed brows. his expression mirrors her own as she stands up to glare down at him fiercely. her eyes locking on yours make you flinch but a second passes and her face morphs, she's smiling. mitsuki grabs the top of her son's head and playfully (you hope..) smacks it a couple times, he snarls and growls but she ignores him in favor of giggling at you.

"he can be quite the brat sometimes, am i right ?!" her forced chuckles quickly turn into her pinching her son's cheeks with gritted teeth and a tick mark on her forehead. katsuki's complaint and what looks like to be an almost scorching grip on her wrist is ignored, she ignores him like he's a mere insect on her shoulder and keeps talking to you like he isn't there. "i hope he doesn't cause you too much trouble ? i know my son is a lot to handle." she asks, her sweet tone of voice returns and you sit up straighter. despite the..interesting first impression you still want your boyfriend's mother to like you.

"oh no, not at all ! katsuki's a sweetie." you smile and she coo's at you like a baby. she laughs like you'd just told her a joke and she pinches at her son's face to get his attention "heh. a real sweetie, eh ?" she mocks, raising a brow. katsuki finally manages to rip her hand off his face and he all but growls at her.

"shut up ! what're you even here for ?!" katsuki's complaint is grumbled as he shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. the only thing differentiating the two of them is that katsuki is currently hiding his tail, it gets in the way around your small apartment and he says it's annoying to sit with it on the couch and he hates tearing holes in his pants, so he mostly only has his horns out. horns identical to his mothers that point back when she raises her nose up at him with a dissapointed huff.

"oh please, it feels like everyone's been able to see your human den besides me !" she exclaims, resting her hands on her waist. "is it so bad that i wanted to come visit my son, and on his birthday of all days !" she huffs. katsuki scrunches his nose up in response. mitsuki continues, she fixes her warm gaze onto you and you blink up at her in surprise. she immediatly chippers up and swoops down to pick you up and hug you.

"and when was it you where planning on introducing me to your mate, and one who's such a cutie at that !" she rubs her cheeks against yours and you're glad she isn't lifting you off the ground but the way she's leaning over you makes your back hurt and has you gripping her arms. a bad decision since she thinks you're returning her affection and squeezes you harder. she glares at her son "as your mother-"

"urrghh-" he groans

"-and the one who practically set you up, i think you should've invited me sooner." she chides, patting at your head. katsuki's almost pout and slouched back reminds you of a little kid getting scolded. you supress a snort when you make eye contact and his frown deepens when you throw him a questioning lifted brow, he just shrugs and looks away again.

"pops hasn't been here yet either." he shrugs off, adjusting to cross his arms.

"you know how nervous your father gets katsuki." mitsuki scoffs, rolling her eyes at her son's comment. said son mirrors her expression, they seriously make your head spin.

"whatever. you came, you saw-" katsuki starts, heading over to rip you away from his mom's grip with minor resistance. "ya put yer paws all over my mate," he growls bitterly, giving you a firm squeeze before letting you go but never too far away from you. “so you can go now.” he says through gritted teeth and squinting eyes.

mitsuki scoffs, dramatically placing her hand onto her chest and even leans back a bit "how rude !" her wide eyes fix themselves to you and you instinctively nod, earning you a growl from the man next to you.

"while it is true i came here to see where you're living, i did come all the way here to wish my son, a happy birthday." she accentuates, putting extra intonation on specific words and every time she does katsuki shrinks into himself a bit. though after a moment he raises a brow

"there's no way you came all the way here just to wish me happy birthday." he deadpanned "what do you want ?" suddenly a smirk crosses the older woman's face and you see how on guard katsuki gets. you start getting a little nervous when stances start getting more..combative.

"do you think that ill of me, katsuki ? i'm hurt you'd thinkso little of me.. i even brought a gift too.." you start to realise how her horns starts to glow as she also backs up a bit, seeming ready to pounce. you hear katsuki scoff out a laugh and your head whips around to stare at the two. two big wings suddenly sprawl from the woman's back, your dragon man grins, doing the same and you realize-

where they planning to fight in your apartment ????

"woah, woah, woah, woah, WOAH." you get in between the both, frantically waving your arms around (you realize this is the second time you've stood in between two dragons now). immediately there's a shift. the tension remains, both blondes staying on guard but gazes fixed onto you.

"what're you guys planning to do ?!" you lock eyes with the older bakugou and shrink back "..if i may ask.." you squeak out. she giggles at your cuteness.

"oh, don't worry darling, this is totally normal ! i know you humans aren't familiar with birthday battles, but they're harmless, really !" she chirps.

"BIRTHDAY BATTLES???" you shriek, whipping your head around to see katsuki unfazed. he simply shrugs at you and your eye twitches at his nonchalance.

"it's fine. m'stronger than her anyways." he waves off, his mother barks out a laugh.

"hah ! is that the hill you wanna die on ?!" she challenges, your boyfriend has the nerve to try to respond until you cut him off before he can.

"katsuki. you are not battling in the house." you squeak, voice pitched high in distress. katsuki, the dragon man who was just about to fight his mother, apparently to the death, has the gall to pout at you.

"it'll be fine, i'll just fix it later." he grumbles.

"and where am i supposed to be while you guys fight to the death ?!" you say, your arms are still spread out like this could somehow stop the two beasts from duking it out should they decide to right now. his shoulders drop, his horns dimming. he pouts harder and you can already see what's coming.

"katsuki-"

"'ts my birthday."

"katsuki. don't-"

"you said i could do what i want."

"but i didn't think you'd do this ??" you try helplessly, giving him your best puppy dog eyes as a last ditch effort. incredibly stubborn as he is,katsuki doesn't budge. you pause to think.

it is his birthday.

and you did want to make his birthday as enjoyable as possible..and if it meant fighting with his mom would accomplish that, then so be it.

you sigh, loudly, and you want to hate the pleased little smirk on your rabid boyfriend's face so bad. but unfortunately, you can't. and that makes you sigh again.

"fine," you look up at him seriously "but not here. i'm sure you can find a field so you can..duke it out. don't get too injured." your boyfriend scoffs boastfully at your words, he pulls you in and wraps a strong arm around your waist, pulling you in. he seems to forget his mom's presence, who's now staring at you both with a smirk. you grip at his shoulders in embarrassment.

"nah, i told you i'm stronger." he says simply, kissing your cheek hard and sloppily "gonna come cheer me on ?" he offers, teasing smile on display.

"i fear i'd die of a heart attack, so i'm gonna sit this one out." you sweatdrop, patting his chest. he grunts in dissaproval but quickly shrugs it off, pressing a kiss to your head before fixing his fiery gaze onto his mother. "well, you gonna chicken out ?" he jeers.

"don't you underestimate your mother." she flashes you a loving grin, walking over to you and pressing her forehead to yours quickly and you feel your whole body warm up happily "it was wonderful meeting you dear. i hope you'll let me visit again soon."

"hell no."

"of course !" you and katsuki respond in unison. as expected mitsuki ignores her son's words and grins at you again. before she leaves she wraps you up in one of her tight hugs, thanks you for taking care of her son, then follows katsuki to the front door. the blond quickly throwing out a "i'll be back later !" loud enough for you to hear and you wave them off before you hear the door click shut. when they leave you heave a long sigh.

that was definitely one way to meet his mother, but you're at least happy it went well.

you truly hope this birthday battle really as harmless as mitsuki claimed it was, though..

after a few hours katsuki returns. not heavily injured, but extremely dirty and with tears in his clothes.

"katsuki !" you whine, walking over and inspecting his upper body and sleepy albeit satisfied face. you grab his face between your palms to get him to look at you. he closes his eyes, "i told you not to get injured !"

he simply huffs and nuzzles into your palm "m'not injured though. can see it can't you ?" he points towards his very exposed chest and his eyes shine mischievously at your flustered splutters. before you can get another complaint in he shoves his head into your shoulder and you squeal, pushing him away.

"no-katsuki, no." he growls lowly at your denial "you're dirty. go shower."

"s'my birthday-"

"you're stinky, birthday or not. you can't keep using that as an excuse you know." you snort, trying your best to stay firm, you quickly check the clock "your birthday's almost over by now." you push at his shoulders so he wouldn't get the opportunity to get comfy and try to coax you into cuddling with him.

he grumbles something unintelligible before lifting his head up to simply stare at you. "did you win ?" you ask and he huffs but he smirks

"nah, almost got her though."

"well, there's always next year."

he squints, scrunching his nose up at your words "she's not coming here next year." you squeeze his scrunched up nose and he pretends to bite at you. "stop being so mean to your mom."

"m'gonna go shower." he ignores you and you roll your eyes as you watch his tail trail behind him to your bedroom to get a change of clothes before making his way to the bathroom.

as soon as the door clicks shut you jump into motion. you bound over to the kitchen, reaching the fridge you slowly pull the chocolate fudge cake out. placing the candles on it carefully, sticking out your tongue for utmost focus. you're happy with the positioning, leaning back to admire your work. afterwards you quickly search for a lighter, and place it next to the cake, you smile when you hear the faucet turn off, just in time.

when katsuki comes out, hair still wet and puffy wearing a simple grey lounge sweater and sweatpants, you're standing in front of him. he raises a brow at your bright smile, he tilts his head back questioningly "what's up ?" he asks, suspecting some type of trick. but he was in for a surprise.

you lean forwards and grab both his hands to drag him over to the couch. "come on." you urge, pulling him along but keeping your gaze fixed on him. a huff of laughter through his nose, he barely supresses a curious smile at your giggles "what ?" he asks again when your closer to the couch.

"just siddown." you push him down rather harshly and he grunts in surprise. "i'll be right back !" before he can say anything you sprint to the kitchen and bring back his cake. "tadaaa !" you exclaim. his eyes widen.

"what's the cake for ?" he asks gruffly and you shake your head. "s'for you, silly !" you giggle. his confused stare has you explain further "for your birthday, it's what we do here." his eyes fly from you, to the cake, then back to you and you can't help but giggle.

"it's dark chocolate since i know you don't like overly sweet stuff, i figured this is sort of a rite of passage for human birthdays" you laugh, but you're interrupted when your body releases a loud "oof !" when your boyfriend's large body topples over yours. you wrap your arms around his neck almost instinctively with a loud squeak.

he doesn't say anything even as you call out to him, but you think you know what he's trying to say when he nuzzles against your neck and squeezes you tight, so tight you grunt a bit and pat at his back and he plops a wet kiss on your shoulder as apology. you smile, patting his back again, because you know what he's trying to say.

"alright big guy." you start rubbing up and down his back and giggling at his annoyed grumbles. "we still have to eat the cake right ?" you nudge your shoulder a bit to encourage him and he gets off of you after a second. he looks away from you with pink cheeks and scratching at his nape. l-let's eat it then." he mumbles. you can't help the smile that grows on your face, when you remember.

"i'll go get a knife-"

"wait, wait, wait !" you lift your arms into his face and his eyes widen "i'll go get it !" you're already getting up before he can protest fully.

"it's fine, i can do it-"

"no, no ! you. sit." you wave your finger at him and he crosses his arms "m'not a dog." he mutters, but he does as you say, begrudingly.

"c'mooon, it's your birthday right ?" you tease, laughing to yourself as you head over to the kitchen again hearing him groan a 'oh, fuck off'.

you come back with a knife, two little plates, two spoons and lighter. you place them on the little table in front of you and katsuki scans your movements carefully as you grab the lighter first. you don't think he knows what they are and thinking on it now, you probably should've at least shown him how they work. because his eyes practically bulge out of their sockets when you flick it on and the small flame comes out.

"the hell are you doin' ?!!" he shouts, quickly reaching over to grab your lighter away. you manage to carefully swerve out of his way, eyes also wide as saucers.

"what are you doing ??!" you excaim back

"why are you trynna set shit on fire ??!"

"i'm not--i'm just trying to light the candles-it's normal !!" you heave. you both stare at each other chest rapidly expanding.

"oh." is all he says. you let out a loud sigh.

"yeah." you breathe. his shoulder slump and he places his elbows onto his knees, opening his hand up signalling you to give the device to him so he could analyze it.

"you flick it on like this, see ?" you teach, showcasing it to him and handing it over so he can test it out himself. he spins it around in his hands, then flicks it on. his eyes scan the flame before he squints at it.

"f'you wanted a flame, you could've just asked me to do it instead of using this wimpy shit." your mouth almost drops in shock and you chuckle, of course he'd get jealous of the lighter. you reach for the lighter and he gives it back, not before fixing it with a scowl. you calmly now, light the candles slowly while he stares.

"i just need a little light, not a flame thrower." you jest.

"m'better than that too."

"oh, i'm sure of it." you decide to humor him, it was his birthday after all, though you are pretty positive he would be better than a flame thrower and a mini lighter.

you beckon him over and he leans towards you and the cake "now you need to blow the candles out, and make a wish !" his eyebrows furrows.

"it's just tradition." you explain, batting your lashes up at him. he drops his head with a sigh and smirks to himself before leaning in, closing his eyes for a few seconds, then he leans back as his chest expands, your eyes widen again.

"katsuki, just blow on it !"

he stops, annoyed " that's what i was gonna do, if you'd let me get it out."

"i said blow, not extinguish it." you quip. he growls then leans in, closing his eyes again to reiterate his wish (despite making fun of it at first he seemed to be taking his wish pretty serious) then softly blows the candles out, huffing out a laugh when you cheer and clap for him.

"man, i wish i'd bought party poppers.." you whine "guess that's for next year." you shrug off. unbeknownst to you, katsuki feels stupid, but he also feels his heart warm at how casual you uttered those words. next year for his next birthday here with you. he nods quietly.

you cut up a slice and place it on one of the plates, you grab a spoon and scoop up a small bite. then, you jokingly raise it up to your boyfriend who's cheeks burn bright red when you go "alright, say ahh !"

he squints at you "..seriously ?" you chortle.

"it's your birth-daaay.." you sing, inching the spoon closer to his face. he rolls his eyes, then grumbles to himself. he leans in, sharp teeth peeking as he opens his mouth with a half hearted "aah.." and taking a bite. you giggle seeing him look up at the ceiling to taste the sweet treat better, his eyes postively light up and he groans in delight when the taste finally hits. you sit on the couch, and try some of the cake yourself. it's heavenly and you hum in content "s'it good ?" you snicker with your mouth full.

"s'fuckin' good." he confirms, you snort. he let's his head rolls towards you, eyes still closed "gimme more." he demands, you roll your eyes but it's his birthday so you'll comply, feeding him another spoonful of cake.

you sit around like this the whole evening, eating cake and making jokes. and of course, finishing the day by watching a movie. you pull your hands from your boyfriends head in your lap to grab your phone, he grumbles but you ignore it in favor of checking the time. it's well over midnight now and katsuki's birthday is unfortunately over. you're happy, but it has you smiling sadly.

"what's up ?" bakugou raises a brow. his hand grabs yours.

"you're officially no longer the birthday boy.." you whisper, leaning down to place a kiss against his nose. he scrunches it and puckers his lips up, grouchy face and furrowed brows on display to get you to kiss his lips instead. you roll your eyes and even if it isn't his birthday anymore, you comply.

"was good while it lasted." he shrugs off, his eyes dart across the room "i--today was..fun." he admits bashfully, you smile sweetly. he looks up at you and closes his eyes with a huff, pulling your hand into his hair.

"'cept when that old bat barged in here."

"quit talking about your mother that way." you tug at his strands and he bites at you.

a beat passes and bakugou's pulling at your shirt roughly, and you squeak when he presses his lips to yours, pillowy lips biting at your bottom one and making you gasp which gives him the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, grabbing the back of your head to kiss you deeper.

when you pull away, heaving and lips shining with spit and his hair tousled from your earlier ministrations he smiles softly. it's faint but his eyes shine as hard as his cheeks when he speaks "thanks..for today an' all." he plays with your fingers to hide his nervousness to meet your soft eyes "dunno why you care s'much about this birthday stuff," you try to speak but he bites at your finger to silence "but..m'glad you do, or whatever. had a good day. better be ready to spend it with me again next year." he challenges, smirking up at you.

you smile back brightly, because you'll be ready to it spend it with him next year and the year after and the years after that. you'd make sure to be with katsuki for every human birthday to come.

(little did you know, it was katsuki's wish too.)

this took forever but this part is done !! i had a lot of fun writing this one and even tho im a lot of days late (lol) heres another katsuki birthday piece ! i hope yall enjoy reading !! <3 if yall wanna keep being tagged jus lemme know but im only doing this bc some ppl wanted to be tagged for the first part !

*if your name is pink i unfortunately couldn’t tag you :(( @doofusarena @queenpiranhadon @rosemarygalaxy @slashersl0t @andysdrafts @berryvioo @erenstitanweave @chuugarettes @stardyedkatsuki @atinytiredpanromantic @zaiban2989 @annepamgkrth @mxpl3s-castle @jastoo46 @nemisimp @niktwazny303 @cecee77 @m-inluv

#bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo fluff #bakugou imagine #katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou fluff #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x you #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou drabble #bakugo x reader #fire breathing roommate chronicles #fire breathing roommate chronicles masterlist #fire breathing boyfriend chronicles masterlist #fire breathing boyfriend chronicles #dragon bkg x reader

[cmncisspnandmore]

Turned Tables

Spencer x hearing impaired reader

Summary: If someone had told you that one day you would be the one who needed saving you would have told them they were crazy. But when you find yourself going through something that you vowed you would never let happen. Only one person knows enough to be able to pull you out of the endless hole you seem to be falling deeper into.

Warning: mentions of injury, drug addiction, drug abuse, depression, overdose, chronic illness, 

~~~~~

It was like the entire event was playing in your head in slow motion, all the time. Sure there were moments of relief. When something requires your attention fully, and there were moments where you just shoved it down. But those moments have been coming less and less lately. It was becoming harder and harder to ignore it. The gnawing in your gut, the feeling of utter hopelessness and despair you felt in those moments. In the moments where you attempted to commit every feature of his face to memory hoping that they would be your last. 

It never came.

~~~

The next thing you know you were in the hospital and had to learn to deal with the aftermath. 

With the pain.

The side effects. 

The loss of your hearing.

The coffee shop was beautiful at sunset. The warm yellow glow from the lights strung in the window giving it a mystical feeling. It was cozy, it felt right, the only thing missing was Spencer. He was supposed to be meeting you here, it was your usual Saturday night coffee date, you had already ordered him his salted caramel and mocha latte, you were sipping on your vanilla latte. The sky was a dusty pink and purple as the sun set over the skyline. 

There weren't many people in the coffee shop but that wasn't unusual, who drank coffee at 7:30pm. Not many people, most of the time it was you and Spencer and maybe a few other people working late. Tonight was no different, you lean your elbows on the table and stare out the door watching as people stroll by. 

Then it was like time slowed, there was a moment when people started running, there was a commotion in the streets. The crowd outside moved faster, then a man appeared, his back to the window where you were sitting. His movements were strange and jerky, and then he turned. His glassy brown eyes made contact with yours, and the moment you glanced down you noticed the web of explosives taped to his chest. Your mind reeled as you watched him take his finger off the button, the world seemed to slow.

You didn't remember what happened immediately after the explosion, you were knocked unconscious for a little while, but when you came to. The ringing in your ears was enough to make you vomit. And so you did, right next to where you lay in a pile of rubble. Every bone, every muscle, every fiber of your body hurts. 

You couldn't move your legs, the pieces of brick from the front of the building pinned you down. You tried to push yourself up, but your arms felt like jello, you weren't even sure they were still attached. You couldn't hear anything over the ringing in your ears, it was deafening. Every movement felt like it took the strength of a 100 bodybuilders to do it. You turn your head to the side, rubble raining down from the ceiling every few seconds, causing you to cough and squint through the dust. 

As some of the dust settled you could see the friendly barista who took your order, a local high school girl. She was in her senior year, her brown hair was a matted bloody mess, her green eyes glassy. The blood spilling from her mouth, the stillness of her chest. It took only moments for you to figure out she was dead. 

You turn away from her, the image of her glassy eyes burned into your brain. It would haunt you for years. You laid there, every passing moment felt like eternity. The shock slowly wore off and you were becoming more and more aware of your injuries. Pain laced your chest, your breathing becoming rapid, as you struggled to pull air into your lungs. Pain seared through every part of your battered body.

You saw the lights, but never heard the sirens, you could see the shadows of people moving around, the lights of their flashlights coming through the settling dust. You could feel the vibrations of their heavy boots coming closer. Not wanting to be missed you throw your arm up with everything you had, and sure enough someone saw you.

A fireman came over to you, his mouth was moving, but you couldn't hear what he was saying. He slowed his talking down and you were able to make out what he was saying by the movements of his mouth. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, his brow furrowed. 

“N-No… I-I need… you to call someone… F-FBI.. Agent Spencer… Spencer Reid…” You managed to gasp out, and the fireman nodded. His mouth moved again and you struggled to make out what he was saying… something about getting you out you assumed because he left. You struggled to keep your emotions in check as he left, panic coursing through your veins. But he came back with a few others, as they started to remove the rubble and debris from around you and on top of you.

They worked around you, under the instruction of a paramedic who was sitting by your head. You managed to catch a few words she was saying, “Crush syndrome, Heart, Arrest.” But that was all, the ringing in your ears was the same, and the vertigo was still unbearable if you moved. It felt like you were on the worst worst free dive from an airplane. Endlessly spinning towards earth with no parachute to slow you down. 

The paramedic placed an IV and gave you fluids through a bag she held up, she would look down at you and tell you that you were going to be okay. At least that's what you assumed she was saying. She gave you oxygen, and held the mask over your mouth, she mimed deep breaths to you when you would start gasping. The Paramedic and the Firemen worked carefully to free you. It was a painfully slow process. 

Out of the corner of your eye a pair of white and black converse, mismatched socks and jeans.You couldn't hold the tears back anymore, they cascaded down your cheeks in messy trails. Leaving streaks of clean skin beneath the dirt and dust, Spencer slid on his knees next to the paramedic and looked down at you.

His frantic words were lost to you as he conversed with the Paramedic. His hazel eyes locked with yours. His hand comes to rest on your forehead and brushes some of your Y/H/C hair out of your face. His eyes shining with unshed tears, as he speaks slowly, “You’re okay, you’ll be okay. I’m here.” his soundless words promised. 

Your eyes raked over his face, trying to commit every feature to memory, “It’s okay… I love you spencer.” You whispered, your voice barely audible between the background noise you couldn't hear.

“I love you too,” you knew how those words looked. You had watched those lips say those words hundreds of times. There was a moment where something was said and Spencer's face changed. The Paramedic injected something into your IV line and you glanced at Spencer your eyes wide. 

“You’ll be okay.” He mouthed, and then they removed the final piece of rubble, you gasped for breath, and then nothing. The world went dark.

~~~

Someone's hand tapped your shoulder and you jolted in your seat. You glanced over at who startled you, Spencer stood there, his hand outstretched to you. In his hand lay your hearing aids, you sigh, reaching over and putting them in. They didn't give you your hearing back, you were still significantly hearing impaired. They helped you catch every third word or so, you relied mainly on lip reading and signed English in combination with the hearing aids. 

“We need to talk,” Spencer said after you had your hearing aids in, his hands moving to sign as he spoke. 

“About?” You seethed, you were pissed off this morning, you hadn’t slept well. You suffered from frequent bouts of Tinnitus, it was debilitating at times. 

Spencer sighs, although you couldn't actually hear it, you saw the way his chest heaved, the exasperated look on his face as he reached into his pocket and pulled out an orange pill bottle. Your blood ran cold, your fingertips numb. You suddenly felt like you were floating out in space unanchored. 

“Why didn't you tell me you needed more of your meds? You know that you’re supposed to keep them on hand for when the headaches get bad.” He shook his head, and an annoyed expression on his face.

“I’m sorry. I forgot.” You lied, it fell easily off your tongue. You found yourself lying more and more, and the more you lied the easier it got. It didn't leave a bitter taste in your mouth anymore, you didn't feel guilty about lying anymore. It didn't even occur to you to correct Spencer that you HAD filled your prescription. Last week actually, but you had taken them all. 

You didn't know when it started, but the weightless feeling, the good floating feeling that the opioids gave you. They turned from relief to a way of surviving. They no longer were there to just take the pain away, they numbed you to everything. When you took them off and took your hearing aids out, the silence that followed was nothing short of bliss.

You found yourself taking them more often, not because of the headaches, but because you craved those feelings again. For those moments, the scene didn't play over and over. You didn't repeat the moment your hearing was stolen from you. It was just nothing. Pure nothingless bliss. 

Staring at Spencer you realize he's been talking to you, but now that your hearing was mostly gone it was easy to pretend you just didn't understand it, that you weren't lost in your own world. His hands waved at you and your eyes slid to his lips. 

“Sorry, i didn't get that, can you say it again?” You ask, watching him closely.

“I asked if you needed me to pick up your meds, i can grab them on the way into the office,” he signs again, slower this time. 

“No, no, i”ll go out and get them,” you smile, if Spencer stopped by the pharmacy he would find out that you just refilled. He would learn your dirty little secret. “You’re gonna be late,” You gesture to the grandfather clock standing against the far wall.

Spencer looks over, and runs a hand through his curls, “I’ll see you later?” He comes to kneel in front of you, his hands resting on your blanket clad legs. You give him a small nod, and lean forward pressing your lips to his. The taste of his extra sweet coffee still lingers on his pink lips, his hands squeeze your knees and he sits back on his heels. “I love you,” he says, pressing another kiss to your forehead before standing.

“I love you too” You call after him, you watch as he closes the front door of your shared apartment, and let out a sigh. You reach up, ripping the hearing aid from your ears and letting them clatter to the coffee table. You pick up your phone, open a text message thread and send a text. 

Y/N: park noon?

D: Yes. 40?

Y/N: Yes. 300?

D: See you then.

You smile at the phone, and quickly erase the text thread, and put it down on the table. You glance at the time again, you had a few hours to kill before you had to go meet your dealer. At first it felt wrong, and weird. Meeting a drug dealer when your boyfriend was an FBI agent, but when you learnt just how easy it was to get pain meds you changed your feelings about it.

It was better to buy them on the street, fill the bottle that you got refilled monthly and act as if they were the same. Spencer never noticed, since the accident he had become accustomed to your tuned out personality, he understood you were dealing with a lot. You had a life changing event and it would never get better. If anything the audiologist prepared you for the fact that you would probably lose more of your hearing within the next 10 years. 

You would never hear Spencer whisper how much he loved you after making love, never hear his laugh, or his ramblings. You would never hear the way he sounded when he woke up, or be able to listen to your favorite songs in the same way again. You’d never hear your future children first cry or their first laughs. 

You wiped the tears that were tracking down your cheeks, now wasn't the time to cry. You pulled yourself off the couch, grabbing your hearing aids as you left the living room and headed into the bedroom. You changed out of your pajama shorts and put on a pair of leggings and one of Spencers’ sweaters. You sighed, glancing at the hearing aids that lay on the bed, the beige and clear material staring back at you. One more physical reminder of what you lost. That was all those were. You despised them. Some days you refused to wear them, against Spencers protests. But you never left the house without them, fearing that the lack of ambient noise and the inability to catch even part of what was happening around you making you anxious. 

It was time to leave by the time you had finished getting ready to go, hearing aids in tow. You grabbed the keys from the counter and started the 15 minute walk to the park. After arriving at the park you take a seat on the park bench you usually meet on and wait. 10 minutes later Dylan walks up, his hands in his pockets, he looks the part of a man out on a jog, his armband with his phone nestled inside it. 

He sits down on the bench next to you, and looks over at you. “Beautiful day,” his voice is distorted and hard to make out. But you just smile, and nod. He never expects his questions to be answered. After another moment he leans over and taps your shoulder, “Ma’am, i think you dropped this.” He holds out a case, it's small no bigger than a man's wallet and as you reach over you ‘accidentally’ knock over your bag, some of the contents spilling out. Dylan leans down to help you put the items back in and while doing so exchanges the case with the identical one you have in your purse effectively transferring the money from you to him and the pills from him to you.

“Thank you” You smile as you grab your bag and stand, and Dylan gives you a head nod. The whole exchange takes no more than 2 minutes, then you are back on your way home. Pills in hand, as you enter the apartment the ringing in your ears from the night before starts again. You reach up taking your hearing aids out, hoping that will help somewhat. But much to your dismay it doesn't stop the persistent high pitched sounds that your brain is trying to interpret as sound. 

You put your hand to your head, and squeeze your eyes closed. You reach into your bag blindly and find the case of pills, taking 2 out you pop them in your mouth and swallow them dry. You stumble over to the couch and lay down, trying to move as little as possible. Hoping for the seet relief the pills bring to happen soon, 

A few hours later the ringing was still there, unable to take another moment of it you forced yourself to your feet, heading into the kitchen to once again grab the case and take 2 more. Normally you would never take more than 2, but they don't seem to be working anymore. You dry swallow 2 more, and sit on the floor in the kitchen with your back pressed against the bottom cabinets. Your head is back against them, focusing on taking slow even breaths, your eyes closed to try to calm the vertigo. 

After some time you drifted off to sleep…

~~~~~~

Cold water raining down on you from above startled you awake, you were aware of the warm body pressed against your back. Their hands brushing your hair away from your face, the tidal wave of nausea crashes into you and you throw up all over yourself. It’s quickly washed down the drain from the torrent of icy water from the shower head. 

You gasp and sputter as the water continues to assault you. Hands run soothingly up and down your arms, you can feel the vibrations of someone talking behind you. Turning slightly in your seated position in the bottom of the claw foot tub you look over your shoulder and see Spencer, his own hair is soaking wet. His lips slightly blue as he shivers under the cold water. His lips are moving as he talks to you, but between the water running into your eyes and the chattering of his teeth. 

“I cant… I don't know what you’re saying,” You manage to gasp out as your own teeth start to chatter. Reluctantly Spencer removes his hands from your arms, he reaches over and turns off the cold water. You let out a sigh of relief as the cold water stops cascading down your already numb body.

Spencer reaches out and grabs your chin in his long fingers, ‘You overdosed,” he mouths slowly, and realization hits you. You took 4 of the pain meds Dylan gave you. You took 4 within 2 hours of each other. 

“I-Its not what you think,” you mutter, pushing yourself to stand and step out of the tub. Your clothes weigh a million pounds from the water. Your eyes fall to the floor that is slowly becoming soaked beneath you. You see Spencer climb out of the tub after you, his own soaked clothes adding to the water accumulating on the floor. His hand comes under your chin again, forcing you to look at him as he speaks. 

“Why did you lie to me?” His browns pull together as he signs the question, the betrayal on his face is evident. 

“I don't know what you mean.” You grab a towel from the rack and wrap it around yourself, your entire body feels drained. Like it was hit by a Semi truck at 100 miles an hour. You start to dry yourself off as Spencer stares at you. The heart of his gaze is overwhelming, the disappointment rolling off him in waves. 

‘

“Don’t. Don’t lie to me Y/N.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Really? So the pharmacist was lying? He just told me that they filed your prescription last week for no reason?” He gestures wildly, you know hes yelling. You don't have to be able to hear to know that he was yelling at you. It was visible in the way his chest heaved, the way he signed the words to you. His entire body language screamed ‘anger’ like a giant flashing sign. 

“OKAY! I lied!” You yell back, and the shock is evident on his face. The anger disappears to something you recognize instantly. The same look you get from everyone who knew you before. Pity.  “So what? People lie all the time. It doesn't mean I have a problem.” 

“Then why when I pulled your phone records did it show that for the last 6 months you have been meeting a guy once a week, a guy who by the way is a known drug dealer?!” Spencer is yelling again, and the shame slams into you. You never wanted him to be angry at you, you just wanted the pain to stop.

“If i hadn't come home early today, if i hadn't shoved my fingers down your throat while you were unconscious, you would be dead. Do you get that? You need help, Y/N. Let me help you. I’ve been there before i've been in your shoes. I can help you, I can get you the help you need.” His face softens, his hands brushing away the tears that started falling down your cheeks.

“But… I just wanted it to-to stop… “ you sob, as Spencer reaches for you and wraps you in his arms. This whole situation felt familiar, only this time it was you with the problem. Not him. When you had first met Spencer he was in the throes of his own addiction. When your long time friend Penelope Garcia called you one rainy afternoon after not hearing from her teammate, she asked if you could stop over. You only lived a block from Spencer apartment, so you trudged through knee high snow, making the short trip to his building. There you found the door unlocked and heard what sounded like someone struggling to breathe. Your instincts kicked in and you entered the apartment calling out your arrival.

That’s where you found spencer sitting on the floor of his living room, his head down on his knees. His entire body shook as he fell into a panicked spiral. You sunk down onto the wood floor and whispered to him that he wasn’t alone. That he was okay, that someone was there. When he finally calmed down enough he blurted to you that he was withdrawing from Dilaudid, alone. 

Your heart thundered in your chest as he sobbed, as the shaking wracked his body, and stole the little energy he had left. You decided at that moment that he wouldn’t be doing it alone anymore. You were going to help this stranger whose soul was shattered by battling demons you could only imagine.

Now standing soaking wet in the bathroom, Spencer was promising to do the same for you as you did him. He would be your anchor in the rocky waters of addiction. He would hold your hand through the vicious mood swings and physical pain that came along with getting clean. He had already done so much for you after the accident. You weren’t sure why you felt surprised he was still here. Why was he still holding you and telling you everything would be okay, when the last few months you had been distant and even cruel towards him. You had no idea.

“I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not angry. I’m going to be here for you. Through it all okay?” He says holding you slightly away from his chest so you can read his lips.

“Okay…” you whisper, a small smile spreading over Spencer’s lips.

“Okay. We’ll do this, we’ll face this together.” 

#criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer #addiction #x you #x reader #Comfort #angst

[siriuslygay1981]

Marauders during New years/new years eve

James- chomping down his grapes, told everyone to leave him alone till he was done cuz he had to concentrate. Took shots with padfoot at around 8-9 pm. Has been sipping on some alcohol beverage while socializing. Is the one hosting. Wearing red underwear. Cleaned the whole house, has cash in random places.

Padfoot- Took a shower at 7, got ready, took shots with James, has been taking shots with the girls and sipping on a drink while getting ready. Is ready at 8:30-9. Is forced by James to do the grapes, acts like it's ridiculous, all his wishes are very thought out, takes longer than all of them though.

Remus- smoked a joint with Peter, Evan, barty and Pandora. Took shots with Pete , Mary and lily. Ate when they got there and watched pads get ready. Talked with the girls with pads in his lap. Eats grapes, only says a few wishes with his grapes, mostly just eats them. Hated on the music a bit, took a handful of songs out and added some when lily looked away.

Peter- brought some alcohol, brought funny lil hats. Nibbled on food while socializing. Wore green underwear. Has done the grape thing since he went to a new Year's party at James. Flirts with some girl he meets, one of Mary's friends.

Lily- is wearing a headband thing with happy new year! On it. She is helping padfoot get ready and gossiping with the girls. She helps make some food and takes care of the playlist. She ends up getting Pandora's glasses.

Pandora and reg are on the couch passing the left over joint, reg was forced to wear a party hat by Pandora. Pandora is wearing those silly glasses that says the new year. Pandora is in this silver dress that looks like tinsels. Reg Helped James and Sirius set the party up. Oh uh reg secretly does wish for a bunch of stuff with his grapes but acts like he didn't. Pandora just wishes for all her friends to be happy.

Mary- gossiping with lily, pads and marlene. Helped make jello shots. Helps fix makeup on anyone who needs it. Brought her boyfriend to kiss at 12. Has added a few songs to the playlist when lily got distracted. Doesn't like grapes!??

Marlene- brought jello shots with Mary. Chilling with Sirius, mostly quiet but compliments everyone's outfit. Eats the grapes, forgets to make wishes until the last two. She dances with Sirius most the night. Comes out to the living room and chills on the couch with everyone. Definitely argued about the music with lily and Remus.

Dorcas- brought some dessert from the store. Takes a few shots for the fun but mostly stays sober. Hangs with reg and Pandora for a bit before hanging out with marlene outside. The first time she does the grape thing, isn't sure what to wish for exactly. Also questions if the wishes happen in order. Overthinks it a bit.

Evan and barty don't leave each other's side. Literally go to the bathroom together. Probably took something BFR the party. Drink a bit and eat a bit while dancing and socializing. Brought some substances if anyone wanted any. Chomped on the grapes under the table together. Barty ate any fallen grapes while Evan wrinkled his nose in disgust.

The prewett twins brought alcohol and invited a lot of people. (After midnight!)

These are all the characters I could think of at the moment, if u have another character lemme know who and I'll do them as well!! :)

Also quick explanation! Wearing certain colored underwear is this new Year's Eve/new year thing. Ex; if you wear red underwear you are trying to bring love into your life. And the grape thing, you get twelve grapes, twelve wishes. You eat them as soon as it turns twelve and try to finish it BFR 12:01. Oh and cleaning the house and stashing money everywhere is supposed to bring you wealth and good things or whatever.

#marauders era #marauders fandom #dead gay wizards from the 70s #harry potter marauders #hp marauders #marauders #james potter #regulus black #sirius black #the marauders #marauder era #the marauders era #incorrect marauders era #marauders headcanon #mary mcdonald #dorcas and marlene #marlene and sirius #marlene mckinnon #sirius black x remus lupin #remus x sirius #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #barty crouch junior #evan rosier #pandora rosier #regulus and pandora #fabian prewett #gideon prewett #lily evans #jamespotter

[thelampisaflashlight]

Mixed Messages Intro

[A casual encounter with Rain and Swiss leaves Dew feeling conflicted. This is a short, set up piece to kind of kick things off with this series, so you can skip it if you want. Not suitable for younger audiences.] Below the cut.

Dew would like to know how he got here.

Sandwiched between a shockingly cuddly Swiss and a snoring Rain.

Yes, indeed, the perfect, pretty Rain snores, loud and proud, and Swiss, who's usually so cocky and confident is an absolute snuggle monster.

But that's not what's weirding Dew out the most.

It's that one minute they were watching a movie, and the next, Rain's hand is drifting up his thigh.

That's fine.

Dew doesn't mind the contact, Hell, he's down for a little sneaky under the blankets shenanigans, but it's when Swiss begins mirroring Rain's actions that he starts to feel...

He breathes, and, fuck, when did the room get so warm?

Featherlight touches cause him to open his legs more, until he's acutely aware of how... on display he is.

It's only the three of them in the living room, but there's a tickle of something akin to embarrassment that brings color to his cheeks.

Swiss begins to knead his thigh, and, while Dew is trying to process this new sensation, Rain decides to lean over, causing him to jump slightly as he turns and sees just how close he is.

They're practically nose to nose, and, oh.

Oh, Rain's eyes are... they're such a pretty blue.

Or maybe they're green.

Some fancy word for a color that's a bit of both that Dew probably knew at some point but never cared to commit to memory, and now deeply regrets forgetting.

Rain meets his gaze, and...

"You want to come back to our room?"

It was just supposed to be a bit of fun.

A casual hook up that wasn't supposed to mean anything.

Didn't mean anything.

Doesn't mean anything.

But...

"Here, have some water." Swiss says, making him take small sips from the bottle in his hands while Rain cleans him up, "That's a good boy."

"Let's get you a change of clothes, huh?" Rain says, grabbing his own clothes from the drawer and helping Dew into them, because his limbs had felt like jello.

"Come on, lay back down."

"But-"

"You can stay."

Swiss pets his hair until he can't fight the idea of going to sleep anymore.

The last thing he hears before he completely loses consciousness is Rain chuckling softly, and the feeling of twin kisses being pressed to his temples.

He felt so...

Safe.

Comfortable.

...Loved.

But now...

Dew pokes at the arm holding his waist, getting no reaction from the slumbering multi ghoul, he then tries to squirm free, but he only manages to get so far before Swiss' limbs constrict around him.

"Swiss..." Dew whispers, not wanting to wake Rain, "Swiss, c'mon, let go."

"Mn... where you going?" he mumbles, pressing his cheek against the middle of Dew's back, "Gotta pee?"

"No, I-"

Rain hitches his leg over his own, foot resting on Swiss' hip, "...Hmmm...?"

Dew wriggles.

"...What's wrong?" Rain yawns.

"Dew's gotta use the bathroom...?" Swiss supplies unhelpfully, his grip loosening slightly as he moves his one hand down to grab Rain's foot.

"I don't! I just..." Dew slides his legs out from under Rain's and throws them over Swiss' side, eliciting a gentle "Oomph" from the other man as he hops out of the bed.

"Dew?"

Flustered beyond all belief, Dew scrambles his way to the door and...

...Runs all the way back to his own bedroom.

"...What the fuck."

#lamp writes #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #swiss ghoul #rain ghoul #swissraindrop #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band fanfic #nameless ghoul shipping

[animereaderinsertwriter]

tags/warnings: angst w/ happy ending, mentions of alcohol abuse, financial instability, rockstar!Bakugou, fem!reader,

song: Bed of Roses // masterlist

Bakugou never woke up happy, but today was worse than usual. 

He shoved the pretty blonde that was sleeping next to him off of his bed and onto the floor. She gave a little groan, which was how he knew she was alive, so he swore at her until she got out of his hotel room. Last night, she had been enamored, star-struck; this morning, she was terrified. She left wrapped in his sheets and holding her underwear, shaking both in fear and from the cold, and Bakugou hoped she hated him now as much as he hated himself.

Bakugou's head ached, a bottle of vodka lodged somewhere between his brain and his skull; his stomach roiled, sensitive and queasy from his hangover. The coffee on the counter, he knew, would only make him feel worse, but he turned it on anyway, determined to either force himself to feel something or nothing. 

His phone dinged, and Bakugou considered throwing it through the fucking wall. 

As it was, he decided to let his coffee finish making before he acted on any rash impulses. While the water filtered slowly through the machine, Bakugou walked over to where he'd set up his tattered old keyboard and sat gingerly on the stool that came with it. His fingers found the keys as smooth and inviting as they had ever been, and without really thinking, he began to play. 

As music formed beneath the touch of his hands, Bakugou found the space for regret. Back when this first started, it had been so simple, so easy— he'd just been a kid making music, and you had been there with him, kind and caring and so supportive. He'd been so young and in love; he'd thought nothing would ever change, even when he got his first big break. 

How naive. 

Although— in a way, nothing had changed. He was still making music, just for larger crowds, and he still loved you, he just… he just wasn't with you anymore. 

His phone dinged again. This time he did throw it at the wall, enraged at the interruption— but then it bounced back at him, and he saw a name pop up on the screen.

Your name. 

The notification read,

Pause? 

Bakugou's headache no longer mattered. He no longer felt any pain. The heavens opened, angels sang, and he couldn't type back fast enough. 

Pause. Are you in the city?

Another ding.

Yeah. I'm at the cafe. Are you busy rn?

Bakugou was supposed to be at rehearsal in an hour, but—

Nah. You?

A moment, then,

Nah. 

Bakugou didn't need any further invitation.

Be there in ten. 

It was a perilous journey to the bathroom. Bakugou nearly died twice— the first time by nearly rolling his ankle on a beer bottle and cracking open his skull, the second by grabbing onto the nearby mirror for stability and bringing the damn thing down on his head. Luckily, it didn't shatter, and he managed to make it to the bathroom sink without breaking himself or anything else along the way. 

Fuck, he thought, scrubbing his hand over the stubble on his chin, crimson eyes staring back at him from the fancy ring-light mirror he'd paid extra just to have. I look like shit. 

For the first time in a week, Bakugou took in his own reflection. He wore a black tank top— the kind that made him look lean, wolfish, and just this side of edgy— and his favorite pair of gray sweats, marked by a stain down the front. Actually… now that he thought of it, these started out as your sweats, and he stole them in exchange for one of his hoodies that you swore you couldn't live without— but none of that mattered, because his hair was plastered to his head with what he fervently hoped was jello shots from the night before and nothing more sinister, and the bags under his eyes were dark enough to pass as leather. 

Might be fifteen minutes, he typed to you a moment later. Gotta take care of some things. 

Bakugou didn't have the time or the energy for a full shower, so what his mother used to call a "whore's bath" would have to do. Gracelessly, he dunked his head under the faucet of the sink, scrubbing the mystery gunk out of his hair with warm water and hand soap; that done, he stripped naked and took a wet, soapy rag to the important bits— face, pits, balls, in that order. Next, he bushed his teeth, and once he was dressed in clean underwear, day-old jeans, and an only lightly-worn t-shirt, he was ready to leave the hotel.

On my way, he typed, and let his feet hit the concrete. 

The cafe you were waiting for him at wasn't far from the hotel. It was nestled between the city park and the police department, and as Bakugou made the familiar journey, he wondered how you were. It had been nearly a year since he had last seen you, and things had been… well. You had needed a pause on the argument between the two of you. At this point, Bakugou couldn't even remember what the argument was about; he just remembered that he missed you. 

When Bakugou found you, you were beneath the shade of a leaning tree on the outdoor patio of the cafe. Vines wrapped lovingly around the privacy fence behind you, and when you looked up from your cup of coffee to meet his eyes, Bakugou's heart hammered hard in his chest. 

You were crying. 

"Hey," he said, just standing there like an idiot.

"Hey," you replied, voice cracking. "You look like shit."

The words were said with the slight wobble of a smile, and Bakugou had never loved you more.

"That's too bad," he replied, taking his seat in front of you. "You're beautiful as ever, princess."

You laugh, he grins. There was so much that was broken between the two of you, so much pain, so much unhappiness— but this? The love freely given? That was easy. 

"Stop all that sniffling," he teased, handing you a napkin. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I am, Katsuki," you replied, immediate and earnest, and Bakugou felt the same strength of emotion rise in himself, reaching and desperate for you. He reached across the table to grab your hand, wanting to feel you, but the moment his skin touched yours, fresh tears began to roll down your cheeks. 

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, smoothing his thumb over the ridges of your knuckles. "Did something happen?"

You looked at him, and Bakugou knew he was going to have to kill someone for the brokenness in your eyes. 

"It's—" you began, but faltered. "It's not too big of a deal, it happens to people all the time."

That could mean a lot of things. Bakugou focused very hard on not trying to squeeze your hand in a death grip.

"What. Happened." 

He articulated each word in a way that left no mystery in his meaning. 

"I didn't come here to talk about that," you told him, frowning, but Bakugou scoffed. 

"You're crying," he accused. "What else am I supposed to talk about when something is bothering my girl?"

Your frown deepened.

"That's what I wanted to talk about."

Oh, boy. 

"You and I— we don't work," you said, wiping away your tears. "We haven't worked. We're broken up, but you still call me when you're drunk or high or in the middle of a hookup. I can't live like that, Katsuki. It tortures me."

Bakugou shook his head.

"It's not exactly a cake walk for me either," he replied, but the defense was half-hearted at best. You narrowed your eyes, and, familiar with exactly what that meant, Bakugou braced himself for impact.

"Do you love me, Katsuki?" you asked him, "Or are you just fucking with me?"

The question hit him like a sucker punch. He didn't even get a chance to process the question, much less respond before you were continuing, bulldozing his world.

"I need to know," you told him. "I don't think you realize it, but my life is fucking hard. I work like a dog every day for a job at which I am underpaid and underappreciated, go home to more work, and get up the next day to do it all again. I'm not like you— I don't have the time, money, or space to drink like a fish until my problems cease to matter. I have to— I have to function, and I can’t do that when being in love with you is squeezing the life out of me.”

You took a slow, shaky breath.

“So I need to know, before I take this opportunity to upend my life and clean house, what I am to you.”

The answer was surprisingly easy. If Bakugou had ever known anything in his life, it was this.

“I love you,” he said. “Of course I love you.”

You nodded. It felt as though you understood, accepted the admission for what it was. You did not smile, though, and Bakugou felt somehow bereft.

“Then I need you to make a decision.” Your voice warbled again, and Bakugou wanted to hold you. “Either commit and help me make this work, or lose my number. I’d do anything for you, Katsuki Bakugou, but I won’t let you treat me this way— not when it hurts so bad I feel I can hardly breathe.”

Bakugou’s heart plummeted. He should have known that this day was going to come eventually, should have prepared himself for this ultimatum. As it was, he just sat there, dumbstruck, and let your hand fall from his.

“I…”

He closed his mouth. He started again.

“Where is this coming from?” was all he could manage to say.

You shrugged.

“Everywhere.” You swallowed thickly, “I got soft-fired this week, my hours at the office reduced to almost nothing so that a man with half my qualifications could have a desk. At this rate, I won’t be able to pay rent and I’ll lose everything. I’ll have to move in with someone else, and since I won’t be able to afford storage, I’ll need to donate half of my stuff. And then last night—”

The tears became too much. You stopped speaking to compose yourself, but composure never came. Nevertheless, you gamely powered on.

“Last night you called me,” you said, “and I could hear you fucking some other girl. You were so drunk, Katsuki, I almost called the cops just so someone would make sure you were okay, but then you said such horrible things— you always say horrible things when you’re drunk, but when you said that thing about— about every woman in the country gagging for what I wouldn’t take from you— it hurt me. It hurt me very badly. So badly that I didn’t care if you lived or died.”

Oh God, Bakugou didn’t even remember calling you. You paused for a moment, then added,

“I don’t want to be that person or feel that way ever again,” you told him. “Do you understand?”

Bakugou felt sick to his stomach, and his mouth went dry.

“I’m sorry,” he said, though the apology felt limp and useless even as he spoke it. “I don’t even remember calling you at all.”

Pain filled your eyes, and you reclaimed his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I know. That’s why I need you to choose— do you want to try again, stop drinking, and try to make this work, or keep going like you’re going and call it quits?”

Bakugou thought about it. 

It would be easier to call it quits. That way, he could keep doing what he’d been doing the entire time he’d been on tour— drinking, fucking, and partying— and not have to change a damn thing besides cutting you out of his life. He was miserable, sure, but he’d been miserable before the two of you broke up as well, the distance and drinking and partying and your career always seeming to come between anything you tried to do together. The only difference between his current misery and his future one was that he would never again be allowed to look at you like this, lovely and sweet in springtime sunlight, or have the chance to hold your hand like this, feeling your soft skin under his hands. 

It would be hard. It would be the hardest thing he'd ever done. There would be sacrifices— parts of his career would be forever altered. But if you were willing to sacrifice some things too…

"Come on tour with me."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Your brows furrowed, and you said,

"Come again?"

Bakugou repeated himself, and you laughed at him, incredulous.

"You're crazy," you told him. "It would never work."

"Why not?" Was this mania? Was this that feeling, the panic-pleasure, joy-pain? "There's never been a better time. Quit your stupid job. I make more money than I know what to do with, and if you quit, then you can travel with me and we could—"

"Katsuki, be serious," you cut him off.. "You're asking me to give up my life for you. I already said no to that once."

Bakugou squeezed your hand, desperate. 

"It wouldn't be forever," he insisted. "It would just be until my tour is over. Then we can take a break, start over. I'll quit drinking, use you as my excuse not to party— I… I want to make this work. I want to be a man you could be proud of. A man you could love. I haven't done anything to deserve it, but… let me try."

You looked at him long and hard then, your expression full of earnest, desperate calculation. 

"What the hell," you said finally, shaking your head with a smile. "My job fucked me over, my life is falling apart— why the fuck not?"

Bakugou could have jumped for joy, but his still-sick stomach wasn't on board with the suggestion. Instead, he grinned and brought your hand to his lips and said,

"I won't disappoint you. I swear I won't."

And he wouldn't. 

#bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academy fanfiction #hannah's throwback thursdays

[usedtobecooler]

like a secret in your throat | eddie munson x steve harrington

Pairing | Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Warnings | sexual content (18+ minors dni), thigh riding, kas!eddie, vampire!eddie, feeding, mentions of blood, bloody play, spitting, fumbly boys doing dumb shit.

Word Count | 1.1k

A/N | i mean we all saw this coming i’m a steddie whore lmao, i hope i did them justice!! this drabble is loosely based on this gorgeous work of art by @vivalski 🖤

“And you’re sure you’re good with this, Harrington?” Eddie asks again, just to be sure, hand wrapped around the side of Steve’s neck, fingertips in the hair at the nape to tug it to the side and backwards, exposing the vast expanse of his jugular. Eddie’s mouth goes dry, his fangs ache, he can hear Steve’s blood pumping under his skin, can almost see it with his new, sharpened eyesight.

“Just get on with it, Munson. Try not to drain me dry though, yeah?” Steve’s bitchy, huffing and puffing — he needs for Eddie to speed up before he loses his nerve. The feeling of Eddie’s cold hands all over him make him shiver, goosebumps appearing and littering his arms. Steve knew this was a dangerous game to play, Eddie had only ever fed from Hopper before, when there was a short supply of blood at the hospital. Hopper was an assertive man, bigger than Eddie even though he was stronger now, in his new form, but Hopper could still shove him off.

Eddie leans in a little closer, opening his mouth to bare his fangs. Steve doesn’t see, but he can feel it when the sharp tips scrape along the stubbly underside of his jaw, can feel Eddie sniffing at him, inhaling his scent.

He smelled good, Eddie thought. Like ripe peaches, a summers breeze, the ocean air. Under it, a typical boy-like musk, but still, he was good enough to eat. Literally.

Steve huffs again, annoyance starting to creep under his skin at how long Eddie was insisting on drawing this out for, “Are you fucking doing this or — oh,” His hands come out in a blind panic to grip at Eddie’s bony hips as the vampire sinks his teeth deep into the connection where his neck meets his collarbone.

“O-oh fuck,” Steve scrambles a little, still talking shit even though he’s got a vampire sucking and licking at his skin, draining him of his blood. His hips buck up into Eddie’s a little, the cool venom dripping from Eddie's fangs and settling deep into his veins sending jolts of electricity all through his body.

"Is this - shit, is this supposed to happen?" Steve's words come out fast, high-pitched, stressed - arousal washing over him in heavy waves. Eddie's ignoring him, groaning into his skin as he feeds, one hand deep in Steve's hair and another squeezing his waist achingly tight, pushing him even flusher up against the wall.

No, this didn't usually happen, if it did he's pretty sure Hopper would never of agreed to letting Eddie feed from him. Eddie didn't know what was going on, couldn't find it in himself to care with how sweet Steve's blood tasted as it filled his mouth, dripped down his throat, sating his hunger and desire.

Steve's cock is ridiculously hard in his pants, adrenaline rushing through him like he'd never felt before. His head thuds against the wall, legs starting to turn to jello as Eddie continues his feed, hands roaming up Steve's shirt to feel at his toned body. Every touch feels like it's setting his skin on fire, burning up and leaving behind a prickly heat.

It’s homoerotic in a way Steve never expected — the way their hands caress each other, Eddie slotting a leg in between Steve’s own so that he has something to bear down on. Steve’s thankful for it, the little bit of relief that Eddie’s tense thigh gives him.

Eddie groans into Steve’s skin, overcome by the scent and taste of him — he’s just so sweet, like nothing he’d ever tasted before. Eddie didn’t know what to expect when he decided to feed from Steve, but it wasn’t this. The carnal desire overcoming him, not just to sate his hunger, but to make Steve feel good whilst he did it.

He feeds until he’s stuffed, head dizzy with Steve’s blood and the gorgeous moans he’s eliciting from the larger man’s mouth. It’s intoxicating, all of it, clouding his senses and driving him mad. Steve won't let up his grinding on Eddie's thigh, whimpering at the feeling of their layers of denim rubbing his cock deliciously.

Eddie’s fangs retract eventually, leaving Steve’s open wounds gaping. Eddie pulls back a little, spitting on the holes and lapping it up, knowing the venom in his saliva will help heal them fast. Steve cries out, the unexpectedness taking him by surprise and a hand fists in Eddie’s hair to keep him in place.

“It’s enough, Steve, I’m full.” Eddie’s voice is deep, gravelly as he speaks, tongue lapping at Steve’s salty skin — all Steve can do is grind against Eddie’s flexed thigh like a bitch in heat, hand grappling in Eddie’s hair and tugging.

“No, no, do it again, please.” Steve’s begging, pushing Eddie’s head back towards his neck in a desperate attempt to feel his fangs once more, breath shaky and eyes wild.

Eddie groans against Steve’s skin, inhaling once more and running his nose up Steve’s neck a bit higher before he’s opening his mouth, baring his teeth and sinking in again.

Steve sighs, whimpering as he rubs himself against Eddie even harder, cock leaking in his pants and leaving a damp patch in it’s wake, “F-feels so good, god, I’m cumming,”

Eddie digs his bitten nails into Steve’s hips and hauls him onto his thigh like it’s nothing, pushing their bodies tightly together as Steve shakes and shudders through his orgasm, unable to think about anything other than Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Fangs retract once more as Eddie helps Steve through the last of his high, his cold lips kissing gently at Steve’s sweat slick skin. His head clears, the taste of Steve still heavy on his tongue, and an aching desire in the pit of his belly.

Steve’s body weight gives out on top of Eddie and he grapples at the larger man to keep him upright, “Hey, hey. You good?” Eddie sounds genuinely concerned, unable to decipher if he’d gone too far and really had tried to drain Steve dry.

“Mmph,” Steve grunts, forehead thumping onto Eddie’s shoulder, “we’re doing this again, I’ve never jizzed so hard in my damn life.”

Eddie barks out a startled laugh, arm wrapping around Steve’s back and tugging at the material of his shirt, “Whatever you want, big boy. Let’s drag your ass to bed before you pass out on this damn floor.”

#steddie fic #steddie smut #steddie fanfic #steddie #eddie munson smut #steve harrington smut #mine #my fanfic #smut

[kringletheelf04]

Delivering gifts and -THE NORTH POLE?! (chapter 3)

Soaring through the sky everything looks tiny. I hold onto Charlie as tight as I can as he and I peer over the edge of the sleigh. Suddenly the sleigh starts to descend onto a nearby roof.

"I hope you're all happy! And I hope the guy that lives here is a TAILOR!" Dad yells.

"You've got the suit on, now what?" I ask dad.

"The list." Charlie says calmly.

"Oh here's a list, how fortunate!" Dad snarks.

Dad steps out of the sleigh, bag in hand. Suddenly the bag starts floating up, bringing him with it.

"Are you ok dad?" I ask him.

"I lived through the 60s, don't worry about me!" He shouts down at me.

I climb out of the sleigh only to start flying up too. "What's this bullshit now?! I'm not in the suit!" I burst out before we are both sucked down the chimney.

"Ok what now?" Dad glares at me.

I take the sack from his hands. "We deliver." I say straight faced.

"Even if I wanted to, it's empty." He hisses.

I open it and find three boxes inside despite the bag feeling empty just moments earlier.

"I guess not dad, we better hurry though and get back to Charlie." I hurriedly placed the presents under the tree. I turn around to see this kid standing there, grinning ear to ear.

"Uh we got company dad," I nudge him.

"How come you don't have a beard?" The kid asks him.

"Because I shaved," he spits.

"You're supposed to drink the milk!" She points to a cup of milk and a cookie set out on the end table.

"Look I'm lactose intolerant and you should be asleep," he argues.

"And who are you?" She says pointing to me.

"I'm the spirit of Christmas, Santa can't do it all by himself you know. Now how bout I drink this milk and you go on to bed sweetheart." I convince the child downing the milk and pocketing the cookie.

"My mom calls me sweetheart! How'd you know that!" She rocks on her feet.

"I'm not Santa's helper for nothing, now off to bed with you." I whisper, ushering her up the stairs.

I make my way to the chimney and dad turns to me. "How did you know that little girl's nickname?"

"It just came to me, I don't know how, but it did. Now let's get out of here!" I say grabbing his arm as we get sucked back up the chimney.

"So how'd it feel?!" Charlie probes.

"Felt like America's most wanted. Now take us home guys!" He commands the reindeer and they take off flying.

At one point or another Charlie and I must have conked out. Next thing I know dad is shaking me and snow is biting against my exposed skin. I pull the blanket around Charlie tighter and him to me. Charlie is definitely awake as he is talking dad's ear off as I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

The reindeer start their descent onto a patch of land surrounded by pine trees. All that is here is a pole.

"It's the North Pole!" Charlie jumps up and down excitedly.

Suddenly a kid comes from behind the trees. He approaches the pole, flips the top open and puts in a code.

Dad tries to get his attention but he ignores dad.

Suddenly the ground begins to move.

"We're moving! We're going down somehow!" I shake dad.

"Yeah I can see that (y/n)!" He shakes me back playfully.

Comet turns his head to me. "We're home!" He says.

I look at dad and he seems unfazed. Like he didn't hear it so I look at Charlie and he's the same.

I must have hit my head at Dennys. First a guy falls off the roof. Then we squish like jello down some chimneys. And now I'm hearing reindeer talk to me.

We make our way down into what seems to be a workshop. Dad steps out of the sleigh. He turns to me and places a hand on my shoulder " stay here with your brother where you're safe." He asserts himself. I know I'm going to ignore him as I'm curious.

Dad walks over to a kid and starts talking to them.  I step out and lift Charlie, blanket and all out of the sleigh. I walk to dad with Charlie as a person around my age comes over.

"Hey! Who's causin' all the trouble around here?" He asks the kid.

"He is!" "She is!" Both dad and the kid point at each other.

"Are we on a coffee break?" The man asks the kid.

"We don't drink coffee!" The kid retorts.

"Then I guess the break is over! Back to work. Thanks." He grumbles and starts to walk away.

Dad squares his shoulders " Take it easy on her, will ya? Who are you?"

"I'm Bernard. Nice to meet you Santa." The man now known as Bernard says to dad.

Suddenly my tattoo is so itchy. It feels like it's on fire. I don't know why but I feel drawn to this person.

I must zone out for a minute because Charlie is now next to dad. I rush over and pull him back slightly. Bernard may be handsome, but he's also still a stranger.

"I'm hungry and thirsty too!" Charlie butts in.

"Yeah dad, all he's had for the past couple hours are cookies I've pocketed from houses." I chime.

"And who might these be?" Bernard asks my dad.

"These are my kids Charlie and (y/n). (y/n) and Charlie meet Beh- beh-." Dad struggles to place the name just given to him moments before.

"Bernard, right?" I ask Bernard.

"Yes." He nods at me and then turns his attention towards Charlie, "Hiya sport"

"He called me sport just like you two do dad!" Charlie says excitedly.

"Wonderful" dad spits.

"Hey, you know what. I got somethin' for you. Okay, now hold out your hand, all right? Now, be very careful. This is very old, just like me." Bernard reaches into his satchel and retrieves a snow globe.

"Shake it Charlie,"I encourage him with a nod.

" Uh, Larry, take Charlie here and get him some chow." Bernard beckons a kid over.

"No, Larry, don't do that. Charlie!" Dad sputters.

"He will be ok dad. He's not dumb." I try to reassure dad.

"Exactly! You'll want to get out of those clothes as soon as possible. You two look drenched." Bernard gives a look over and shakes his head.

"Barnaby, I just wanna go home. Look, I am not Santa Claus!" Dad stammers.

"Did you or did you not read the card?" Bernard says through gritted teeth.

"Yeah why?" Dad snaps.

"In putting on the hat and jacket you accepted the contract" Bernard motions to our attire.

"The Santa Clause: "ln putting on this suit and entering the sleigh the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Clause and the Christmas spirit in perpetuity until such time that wearer becomes unable to do so by either accident or design." Bernard reads off the card.

"Christmas spirit, what's that?" I ask him.

"The very essence of Christmas. You're responsible for all the holiday cheer." He explains to me. "Now the list will be shipped to your house. Mark each name with a P or a C."

"P for present and c for coal." I explain.

"What list?" Dad asks, confused.

"THE LIST! You know," Bernard points. "He's making a list" Bernard starts low.

"Checking it twice!" Charlie chimes in.

Bernard's hands meet his face in somewhat embarrassment.

The rest of the elves join in with "Gonna find out who's naughty and nice!"

"Now you and your kid gotta get your affairs in order. You're due back here on thanksgiving! That should leave you enough time for me to train them." Bernard says deliberately to dad.

"When do we get out of here?" I chime in.

Bernard turns his attention to me, "You leave tomorrow morning."

"What if I don't want to do this?" Dad asks angrily.

"Don't even kid about something like that!" Bernard glares at him.

"Why not?" Dad challenges.

Bernard's face falls, "Then there would be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. And seeing as your kid now is the spirit of Christmas, you wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas and your kid, now, would you Santa."

What now?! I'll die if dad doesn't get with the picture. My jaw drops slightly and my eyebrows furrow. This has got to be some nightmare.

"Judy will take you to your room. Get out of the suit. It needs to be cleaned. I'll take (y/n) to their room." Bernard motions for me to follow and I do.

Dad's mouth falls open but he quickly shuts it.

This has got to be the worst night of my life thus far.

#fanfiction #bernard the arch elf #bernard the elf #bernard the head elf #the santa clause #the santa clause two #bernard the elf x reader #david krumholtz #bernard #reader insert #xreader #bernard fanfiction #christmas lights #character x reader #charlie calvin #scott calvin #curtis the elf #elves #soulmates au #soulmate marks #soulmates #alternate universe #au #self indulgence babey #self indulgence time #self insert #laura miller #neil miller #lucy miller #carol newman

[sortofanobsession]

Hospital food lacks Love (911-Missing Scenes from 6x11 In Another Life)

Author's note: one of two fics that I wanted to write after last night's episode. Bobby expresses love through food often. And hospital food is meh at best. So this is what I feel would have happened. Also posting on mobile so no reason more. Sorry about that.

And it's canon now that Bobby is Buck's dad. They didn't just hint, they said it.

Buck has two sets of parents and that is awesome.

SPOILERS!

Enjoy!

Everyone had gone home. He had even somehow convinced Maddie, Bobby and Eddie he'd be fine for a few hours. The staff had brought him a tray with dinner on it and told him to eat slowly because it was one of the first meal since he had been intubated. And he assured them he would. He tries to eat it. He really did. The main issue was that this is not what he wanted to eat. It was a painful reminder that he was stuck in the hospital, eating hospital food. The blandest and boring safe food that is hospital food. He ate a bit but ultimately it wasn't appetizing at all. So he pushed it away and grabbed his phone. He debated on who to text. Maddie would probably tell him the food he was supposed to eat was that way because he had a tube shoved down his throat. They probably didn't want to overwhelm his system. Eddie might say the same thing or he might offer to sneak him in a burger or something. But the one person he knew would always make sure he had enough to eat was Bobby. Bobby always made sure Buck was okay. Even his unconscious mind knew Bobby was there for him. Cared for him. He would always appreciate Bobby being there for him. He loves Bobby like he did his own dad. Maybe even more at times. Bobby was the father figure that had been there when he needed him. His unconscious mind even brought him back from the dead when he needed him. So he sent Bobby a text.

Buck: hospital food 🤢

Bobby: that bad tonight?

Buck: im just going to eat the jello

Bobby: you really should eat something, Buck

Buck: its so boring and terrible

Bobby: did you at least try?

Buck: yes dad

Buck meant for it to come off as a sarcastic joke. Bobby didn't need to know that it felt more accurate to him. And knowing that Athena was the only voice that really broke through to him during his dream made him feel cared for. Loved. It really did feel like he had two sets of parents. Phillip and Margaret Buckley, the ones that initially brought him into this world and we're trying to reconnect with him. He could appreciate that. And the ones that helped bring him back into the world this time, the ones that love him by choice, not because of obligation, Bobby and Athena.

Bobby couldn't help but smile as he read Buck's text. Any hesitation that he might have had to sneak Buck something to eat vanished. Buck had a grip on his heart and he had for a long time. Since Bobby helped him get ready for that awful date all those years ago. Buck sat nestled in his heart alongside the kids he lost and the kids he gained when he married Athena. May was right.

Bobby: you want me to sneak you in something don’t you

Buck: Id say I’d die for it but too soon

Buck: right?

Bobby: Right

Buck: Yes sir *saluting emoji*

Bobby: I’ll make & bring you breakfast tomorrow

Buck: this is why you are the best

"What are you smiling about?" Athena asks as she joins him. Bobby just hands her his phone.

"Of course," Athena grins. "He got you with that dad text didn't you?"

"Even May says it's true," Bobby says.

"Because it is. He may have his real parents in his life, and they seem to be trying, but he knows he will always have you. And that means something."

"It does," Bobby smiles. "I'm so glad he's okay. I will make him whatever he wants if it means he'll stay that way."

"I know you will. He knows it too."

The next morning Bobby makes breakfast for his family. Omelets. Fluffy omelets that are packed full of tiny pieces of whatever any of them wanted. And he packs up one that he knew Buck would like. He packs it as best he can to keep it warm. Packed along with some other stuff he was bringing to help keep Buck from going crazy during his recovery. Some of it May and Harry insisted he would need. He headed to the hospital.

He knocked on the door before entering Buck's hospital room. The smile on Buck's face made Bobby smile.

"Morning," Buck greeted him.

"Morning, Harry and May said to tell you to feel better soon. Like soon, soon," Bobby shakes his head. "They also sent stuff to keep you sane. So here." He sets the bag of stuff on the bed. "Also breakfast is in there so there's that."

"Yes!" Buck grins. And pulls the tray table closer so he can pull everything out. He eagerly opens the container and finds the utensils. "Thanks, Bobby." He hums when he takes a bite. "I feel like I haven't had anything with flavor in ages."

"It's been less than a week, Buck," Bobby chuckles.

"And it feels way longer," Buck complains.

"You're just bored," Bobby says.

"You aren't wrong," Buck notes.

"Well I don't have a shift until tomorrow, so finish your breakfast and we can find something to do."

"Thanks Bobby, you really are the best," Buck smiles.

"Anytime, kid. Anytime."

#evan buckley #bobby nash #athena grant nash #Athena Grant #911 spoilers #non story post #bobby is buck's dad #fire dad #captain dad Bobby #spoilers #missing scenes

[ilyasorokinn]

can i request number 27 from the general fluff prompt with moyni <3

HOSPITAL JELLO

i love moyni so much. thank you, that's all.

27. "here comes the airplane!" "i can feed myself." "too bad." (from this prompt list)

tw: hospitals/injuries

"all right, they didn't have green jello, so i got the second best jello: the red one." you held up the plastic cups as you walk back into patrick's hospital room.

"red? really?" he made a face in disgust.

"well, it was either red or orange, and i know you don't like orange."

"okay, fine." he sighed. he had sprained his ankle, but it had been a pretty severe sprain so they wanted to keep him overnight to make sure everything was good.

luckily, the season was ending so all he was missing was press, "beggars can't be choosers, patrick." you reminded him.

"i know, i know. thank you." he smiled.

"they had chicken wraps, and i know you and your weird diet, so i got you one of those with apple juice."

"apple juice? you really do love me." he clapped like a kid, "i appreciate you staying with me and getting me everything i need."

"you're welcome." you set your wallet on the chair you had called your bed the night before, then took a seat on the bed next to him, "when we get out of here, you owe me a massage."

"i offered to make room."

"you barley fit in the bed, i don't think we'd both be very comfortable in it. plus, you're the patient. you're the one who's supposed to be comfortable."

"i would be comfortable if you were, too." you smiled, "now, can i have jello first? i promise i'll eat all of the wrap."

"you promise?" you narrowed your eyes.

"promise." he nodded, holding out his pinky.

"okay." you linked your pinky with his, then opened the jello and grabbing the spoon before he did. you smiled to yourself as you flew the spoon around in front of his face, "here comes the airplane!"

"i can feed myself." he pointed out flatly.

"too bad." you shrugged, shoving the spoon into his mouth, "yum. red jello."

"y/n..." he sighed.

"all right, fine. feed yourself." you raised your hands in surrender, turning away so he couldn't see you laughing.

taylor's 2.5k celly!

#patrick moynihan imagine #patrick moynihan imagines #patrick moynihan x reader #patrick moynihan blurbs #patrick moynihan fic #patrick moynihan #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fic #nhl blurbs #nhl #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fic #hockey blurbs #hockey #providence hockey #new jersey devils #taylor writes #taylor writes: hockey #taylor's blurbs #taylor's prompt lists #taylor's 2.5k celly!

[abyssalshriek]

Theory about Bliss Ocean's "Screen Guy"

Epithet Erased Prison of Plastic Spoilers:

I think Naven is either the Bliss Ocean screen guy, or he is a red-herring for it.

The Bliss Ocean screen guy shows up to the meeting, well, on a screen, and Prison of Plastic introduces Naven with the mention that he prefers to do meetings digitally.

Now, I wasn't the one to think of this theory. I actually saw a post about this theory before I started reading Prison of Plastic. Because I thought it was a spoiler, I didn't look too closely at it when I saw it, which meant I misread it as a fact rather than a theory. Thus, I went into Prison of Plastic waiting for when this would be revealed.

That said, going in with this theory made a lot of things make sense. Naven saying they'd be surprised how much he knew about evil. The ominous way he spoke to Lorelai in the infamous "Will you murder me?" scene. The double-entendre of him mentioning that he is in charge of a major organization; sure, he could be referring to his company, but this could also be hinting towards Bliss Ocean if he is the screen guy considering in that same line he already mentioned his position at Stem.

Speaking of Stem, it is mentioned they have a practice of hiring a lot of Mundies, which would be similar to Bliss Ocean's goal of getting rid of Epithets.

One last thing from the story is that the person the electric lady texted in Episode 4 had a similar word choice and color as Naven, and also Naven's chauffeur has the same voice as the electric lady.

This sign is a bit more of a meta thing, but I remember seeing Jello mention he had the screen guy's voice actor agree to remain anonymous for now. I suppose it could make sense to hide it, but I could see some voice actors being hesitant to hide their participation. However, because Naven is voiced by Jello, and if Naven is screen guy, it would be pretty easy for his voice actor to agree to anonymity because the VA would be the same guy who wanted the anonymity.

Also, Lorelai says while Naven is in the room that she wishes she could get rid of her Epithet. If Naven is part of Bliss Ocean, and if they try to take the amulet again later, this could set up for a conflict of them taking Lorelai's epithet away with the amulet. She asked for it, didn't she?

#epithet erased #prison of plastic #epithet erased theory #epithet erased naven #naven nuknuk #theory #post #longpost #abyssalshriek

[darkmatters-ghost]

Hi hello chapter 4 of Psychic and Empathetic is finished so here's a update/sneak peek/whatever the heck this is going to be.

Alright okay so in this chapter, 6yo Silver and Shadow make things out of play-doh, because Shadow's a good dad who Parallel plays with his son! It was getting a little hard to describe the play-doh things, so I thought "hey, can't I just make these things? I mean, it's not like Ao3 can't have pictures!" So here's pictures of some of the things they make.

I didn't actually have play-doh, so I used my own weird undrying clay, and I'm NOT an artist, and my wrists identify as Jello, so this isn't the greatest art project in the world but I did the thing! So I win! I guess!

Exhibit A

Silver makes a play-doh birthday cake, and its candles are described as looking like limp noodles, and falling off. This is exactly what happened when I tried to recreate it irl, but believe it or not, the super limp one was actually the most stable for some bizarre unfathomable reason

Exhibit B

Silver also makes a turtle! I think this one came out really well–aside from the face. The face isn't supposed to look like the creature from Garten of Banban 2 or 14 or whichever game, but apparently cute faces are beyond my skill set.

Exhibit C

This is what Shadow makes, and this is why I decided to do it irl. Try describing this. It's supposed to be fire... I mean, you can't really tell but that's what it's supposed to be... Anyway, imagine this but like waaay better

I hope you all enjoy the chapter when it comes out! <3

#dadow #shadow the hedgehog #silver the hedgehog #sth #fanfic #sonic 06 timeline #psychic and empathetic au #my own weird art monstrosities #this is why I don't do visual art #aaaAAAÄ- #my hair reeeally wanted to be in the way for this too #which didn't help

[jazzforthecaptain]

20 Fanfic Questions

Thanks to @merfilly for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

126

What’s your total AO3 words count?

577,228

What fandoms do you write for?

Superwood (Supernatural/Torchwood crossover) is my biggest, followed by Supernatural, the Fast & Furious franchise, and Anne of Green Gables.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Down in Mexico (The Fast & The Furious)

Shine the Hood (The Fast & The Furious)

Rilla Blythe's Wedding: A Not Entirely Comprehensive Account (Anne of Green Gables)

Field Work (Supernatural)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments. I don't get to it as often as I used to, but I really enjoy making a pot of tea and sitting down with my laptop to answer everything in my inbox. If you send me love, you will (eventually) get love back.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ugh, Luminaria for sure, which I'm not linking because of some of the themes - you'll need to look that one up on your own and read ALL of the tags before proceeding. I didn't realize how hard of a time I'd have writing that one until I was in the middle of it, although I suppose I should have known considering I was finally going to touch the one hot point of Jack's sad history that I'd been avoiding. I think it was the first time I've ever written Ianto, really written him, and fuck, the PAIN.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I'm going through my fics, like, fuck, do I write actual happy endings? Considering the characters I write, it's not super surprising. How about Adventures in Holiday Baking? Everyone's happy and they save the dragons with German pastries? Field Work ends pretty okay?

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I think that's the blessing of existing in semi-anonymity. I have some fics that have racked up some surprising kudos, but I write for niche ships and very dead fandoms. I get the occasional weird comment, but nothing I'd call hate.

Do you write smut. If so what kind?

Yes. I have a hard time writing explicit smut because several of the characters I write frequently really balk at using the typical jargon in their narratives, and I cannot write flowery purple prose anymore. It's easier to write smut from some characters' viewpoints than others. I've written mild kink and I enjoy writing characters in kinky scenes, but I don't think I'm very good at it.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Aha. Ahaha. Ahahahahaha. *sob*

Angels in the Architecture. I took my most dearly beloved fandoms and I made a jello salad with them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not really? I mean-- *gestures over shoulder at the restaurant alley dumpster full of raccoons* --who wants this?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had some offers, which I accepted, but I have no idea if they were translated or not.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! Several times! I've gotten a little more withdrawn about collabs in my old age, but I've enjoyed the fics I've written with partners (and the Legendary One still sitting unfinished in my drive).

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Look at my icon. You see my icon? It's Them. They haunt me. They will not leave me alone. Writing this ship is a lonely, lonely existence. Send help.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am the kind of author who abandons a fic for almost a decade and then finishes it in six months, so I'll never say never. Indecent Rhythm certainly haunts me. The problem with that fic is I feel like I'm too old, jaded and scarred to finish it with the optimism with which I started it. I have a feeling there are people now who read that when they were teenagers who have kids now, and have had their own imagined endings to it for years, and so maybe I should just let them be and have the endings that they wanted rather than whatever I could come up with.

What are your writing strengths?

Settings. I dig into settings and I love including local color. Some of the memorable details from fics (Down in Mexico specifically comes to mind) come from me doing a street view tour of a neighborhood, wandering around to see what a city I've never visited looks like from the sidewalk.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting in general. I have scenes, sometimes loose what-ifs. Bringing a story from idea to satisfying finish is paralyzing and 90% of the reason I don't finish a fic. I enjoying writing. The planning is a bitch of a dissatisfactory situation.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I have a good reason for it, I'll do it, but there are usually better ways to go about including other languages in fic. I've been learning Italian, however, and I've been itching to try writing drabbles in Italian.

First fandom you wrote for?

The Firebringer Trilogy, by Meredith Ann Pierce.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

It used to be Life Support, which is one of the fics I reread periodically and just kind of gape at myself because I forget I can write like that. But it's been upstaged by Out of the Empty, because that fic allowed me to incorporate all of the loopholes we got in the final season of Supernatural to scoop Castiel entirely out of the canonverse, to write Empty!Meg, and to write lovers meeting in dreams (more or less) before they meet in person, which is a favorite romance trope of mine. I worked a lot of my rage at the series out in that fic, and it's one of the few fics I can say I'm completely happy with.

Tagging: @naryrising @ladylilithprime @rodiniaorzetalthepenquin @awabubbles @merindab @avalonsilver

#ask meme #long post

[rainyfestivalsweets]

Last Nights meals.

Leftover sliced chicken + spicy garlic, a portion of leftover hibachi leftovers mostly noodles, slice peppers + bleu cheese yogurt dressing.

Then I got dressed super cute (for me) and went to a Thanksgiving Eve church service. This is the first time in about 10 years that I have gone to a service. It is supposed to be gay friendly, so I went to check it out. The sermon was about stewardship and conservation. Odd that this would be the church service I would be drawn to, considering most of my reading this fall has had land and conservation themes. [Taylor Brorby Boys and Oil, highly recommend, especially for LGBTQ folx & Terry Tempest Williams "An Hour of Land." Also highly recommend for nature lovers] .

I then went with my girlfriend to Walmart to buy a TV. Hers broke a couple of weeks ago. I talked to my uncle while we were at the store. I stayed while while she set up the TV, and I had 2 sparkling waters while I was there. I didn't actually get home until almost 11 o'clock - I left shortly after 5.

When I got home, mom didn't want to eat so I basically had a snack of a Chobani flip (which was nice). I was still snacky and looking for something else to eat so I had a tub of sugar free jello.

I, of course, wanted other things but I told myself "no." It was too late to eat a bigger meal.

I woke up this morning quite a bit lighter than I have been lately! Wooooooooo!

The sad part is: Just in time for the big "day of eating."

Fuck.

I will have had 3 big meals, and that's just a little bit overwhelming. That's a lot.

That is alot considering the first meal revealed that I am a nervous Eater and which back for extras on things I didn't need because I needed to keep my hands busy.

I am so obviously in need of some connection/community and I have been trying to seek it out. I am grieving the loss of yet another lgbtq massacre. I feel too, that part of my eating problem is that I am literally home 90% of the time. Most of that time is spent alone, working. Or alone, cleaning. Mom doesn't conversate much sometimes. Can't track conversations so we don't really talk about much. She doesn't hear well and she doesn't remember well, so although she is here, sometimes loneliness can be a huge eating trigger.

I feel like just being out of the house helped me and it is non food time. So I am telling myself to do more of that.

But wait, celebrate!

245 today! Woo!

Right in time for a big eating holiday. I hate being so anxious and hating the holidays so much because of it. I hate having had dieted most of the years for holidays and missing out on all the yummy food. There were days when I was low carb that my sister's boyfriend would make me loaded bacon cheesy mashed potatoes to tempt me. I didn't break, but I think it gave me a Halo Effect when eating later. [Oh, I passed on the potatoes, so I can have this...and this].

The plan:

Make a healthy dish to take

Have a protein meal within the hour before leaving

Take some tea and/or ask them to make a pot of coffee if they don't have it on

Take nomorbidity before I leave the house

Take Gluccomannon right about when I get there.

Take a little of everything I want (science says you only really taste the first 3 bites)

Try to eat slowly. Smaller bites. Fork down between?

Ask questions, conversate.

Relax and enjoy myself. This day is not going to make or break me.

Take some holiday flavored sparkling water.

#healthy lifestyle #getting healthy #losing weight #healthy eating #healthy habits #fitblr #operation lose this gut #weight loss #operationlosethisgut #weight loss journey #road to 199 #noticing weight loss #holiday weight loss #holiday plans #eating for weight loss #anxiety #holiday stress #holiday tea #holiday #today is not the day to lose track #fitbabe #not yet but i'm still trying #not yet but becoming #not eating my feelings #weight loss mindset #weight loss motivation #weight loss tips #healthy weight loss #need to lose more weight #food tracking

[nonbinary-octopus]

I made PUDDING

#original #cooking with phoenix #my brother mentioned that he discovered that jello brand pudding powder doesn't have milk in it #which means we're not allergic to it! #so today I got some at the grocery store #and also some store brand pudding cause it's cheaper #but for some reason the store brand vanilla and banana cream flavors had milk but the jello brand ones didn't so I got those as jello brand #and pistachio as jello brand bc there wasn't any as store brand #but I got store brand lemon jello #and I made it with almond milk #currently waiting for it to set #it should probably be set by now #it didn't say to stick it in the fridge but I did anyway #because it wasn't set yet and I wanted it to hurry up #it said 5 minutes #but that might have been based on smaller containers idj #*idk #I just put mine all in one bowl #it's supposed to be four servings but I don't care

[sophsicle]

so we all know regulus’s birthday is in june so we don’t see james celebrate it with him but when he wrote him those letters did he write a special one for his birthday? :) also love the story

Hello lovely!

Because I miss them:

Hey Reg, I want you to know that originally I was planning to go all out with this letter. I mean, exploding confetti, obscene amounts of glitter, a singing cake on the front. The works. It would have been amazing.

You'd have hated it. I didn't though. I mean, obviously I didn't. I - jeez, are you allowed to fumble in a letter? I feel like I should have planned this out better. Okay, let me start again: I wanna make a big deal out of this. Out of you. That's the point of birthdays, in case you weren't aware, to make a big deal. Out of how incredible you are. How you're worth celebrating. I wanna make a big deal out of you. I wanna throw like a giant party. With Jello shots on silver platters and live music and firework displays and a million banners with your face on them. I want it to be over the top and ridiculous and impossible to forget. I know that I can't. Can't even send you a letter with exploding confetti really, because no one's supposed to know. Because I'm not supposed to be making a big deal out of this.

This.

Us.

You.

Because that's what you want. And that's okay. But...I worry sometimes, that it lets you convince yourself that you aren't worthy of it. That you use me as another excuse to beat yourself down. And I fucking hate it Reg. I hate it. Because I wanna make a big deal out of you. Because you are a big deal. To me. So Happy Birthday. I hope today is a good day. I hope you get everything you want. I hope you know that I'll be thinking about you the whole time. And when the sun sets I'm gonna find you in the sky and I'm gonna celebrate the shit out of you. I love you, James

#choices #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #starchaser #soph rambles