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redd956 · 2 years

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Writing ARFID: It’s not picky eating

My big three pains: ARFID, PTSD, and Nightmare Disorder

I was ‘born’ with two of these, or really ARFID and Nightmare Disorder developed at an incredibly early age. Idk how common it is for someone to write about any character with ARFID, but I am creating this resource just in case.

First though you need to know what ARFID is....

ARFID is a complex eating disorder that doesn’t focus on one’s body image AT ALL. It is also an anxiety disorder, and for some can be classified as part of a phobia. It is very disabling, making the everyday human task of eating an incredibly challenge

People with ARFID eat a small group of highly specific foods. The number tends to be underneath 25 foods, and go as extreme to only 5 foods. This is not a choice. ARFID is a disorder, where many develop it at an early age and/or thanks to sensitive sensory related stuff (ADHD, Autism, OCD)

When confronted with foods outside of the small group, people with ARFID are overwhelmed by anxiety. This can cause great distress, sensory overloads, avoidance, more anxiety, and phobia-like responses. This makes finding something to eat, getting foods, trying new foods, and eating out in public very difficult...

There is also a type of ARFID derived from a bad personal experience to a food

Do a lot of research! This is a very rare disorder, especially in adulthood, and has a lot of misconceptions going around.

Now....

- It is different for every person

The group of foods, why the ARFID person doesn’t like them, their reactions, and their current tolerance changes from person to person. Like every disorder y’know...

- It changes overtime

People with ARFID may never be cured, but they can get better. I am definitely a lot better now compared to my younger self. This can be through overtime exposure, change in patience, or through an expanded roster of safe foods.

- It is not picky eating

A person with ARFID is not being stubborn about their foods, no matter how it may seem. Many with ARFID genuinely want to eat other foods, and/or are frustrated by their condition. They may even like the taste of a food, but not be able to swallow it due to sensory issues. They cannot control what their ARFID has disallowed. When writing make sure you are describing ARFID and not picky eating habits. (I WILL ENJOY CHEESECAKE SOMEDAY)

- It is dangerous

Though people with ARFID are not starving themselves, they are missing out on major nutrients. Often times entire food groups will be excluded from an ARFID person’s list of foods. This leads to malnutrition, and depending on what they are lacking other extreme problems. Many people with ARFID will end up in the hospital at some point because of their disorder, usually due to malnutrition. Doesn’t help that the threat of the feeding tube can also trigger an ARFID response.

- It is complicated

Each person has it differently. Each person has a different criteria for eliminated foods. Some cannot handle mushy foods, some cannot handle crunchy foods. Some won’t eat foods that have spots on it. Some won’t eat foods that are certain colors. To make matters worse usually people have more than one reason to why they won’t eat a food. A major thing you’ll hear someone with ARFID say is, “I just haven’t tried it yet.”

- Trying new foods isn’t a simple trial and error process

When facing a new food a lot of different anxieties pass through a person’s mind. With ARFID many are barely up to the task on a good day. Some may even seem confident until the plate is in front of them.

- “I would rather starve”, and they will

Many people with ARFID will go extreme lengths to not eat a food out of their safe foods group. This includes starving. There will be no persuasion, no confrontation, no forcing that will change them. It is a disorder, not picky eating.

- Heightened Senses

Many with ARFID have a heightened olfactory sense, meaning a stronger sense of smell and taste. This may not only be the source of the disorder, but also makes life more difficult for a person with ARFID. They will often be hypersensitive to the tastes and smells of foods. The texture is also a sensitive topic. This also makes it 10x more difficult to sneak things into foods, because trust me, a person with ARFID is likely to taste it.

#writing mental illness #writing arfid #arfid #avoidant restrictive food intake disorder #autism #adhd #ocd #eating disorders #writing eating disorders #mental illness misconceptions #I WILL EAT CHEESECAKE SOMEDAY

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spidey-bie · 6 months

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Hobie x ARFID Reader

Warnings: emetophobia (if you squint), eating disorder

He's the type of person who'll sit with you as you eat even if you're a slow eater

"Didn't you say you had to go to HQ today?"

"Miguel and those other wankers can wait. I have more important things to do here."

People have stopped complaining about you eating slow ever since you've started hanging out with Hobie.

(He probably lectured them about eating quickly is a part of the grind mindset and how capitalism has once again plagued society so much that we can't even eat meals without thinking about how to best optimize our time. In this essay I wil-)

Please don't hoard your food, your personal food disposal is literally right there

He will not let you force food down either refer back to the above point.

Never explicitly states anything about the excessive amount of Pepto Bismol you own. However he does distract you away from it after each meal if it's a habit you're trying to break.

He also finds creative ways to motivate you to eat

"Did you really just put on a puppet show with a sock figure singing about how you can't fight the power on an empty stomach?"

"Yeah."

"Siiiigh ig I gotta go eat now. Like Shobie the sockman said I can't fight against my oppressors if my stomach is giving me away."

Learns how to prepare your safe foods

He's a fairly decent cook. But if he doesn't know how to cook something he'll experiment before giving you the final product.

Also he doesn't say anything if you ask for foods to be finely chopped or cut because of excessive fear of choking.

If there's something he can do that'll make eating easier for you he'll do it no matter how strange it might seem.

He will distract you as you eat if that helps you. Probably goes on and tells a story from his day or something new about one of his interests.

He doesn't get upset or irritated if your safe foods change up

You looked down at the plate of food set down before you. There was nothing wrong with it. It was actually a food you'd grown comfortable eating for the past couple of weeks yet the sight of it now made your stomach turn.

"I can't do it. I'm sorry."

"What you apologizing for? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know." Your vision began to blur. "But I thought this one would've stuck around for a bit longer."

"Don't worry about it I've got some safe foods in the fridge for you as backup."

He will find ways to sneak foods with the vitamins you need into your food if you ask him to.

He tells you he's proud of you for whatever you eat that day or if you try new foods.

"I'm proud of you for eating."

"Bie I'm only eating a child's portion of food."

"Oi. Don't put yourself down. Something is better than nothing."

(A/N: You just gotta love mourning over the foods that you can't eat anymore 🙂. Anyhow this wasn't as heavy as I thought it'd be. Actually got some heartfelt scenes in here. )

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mad-scientist-enthusiast · 1 month

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"The Haunted Flesh Machine"

@plaguedghosts @iwrotesomeofitdown @notjustanyannie

Here is my slam poem. Thank you for the encouragement!

I'd like to preface this by saying it is a poem of my struggles and fears, and this should not be taken as the most mentally healthy or even correct writing.

CW: discussion of disordered eating, slight suicidal ideation, a little bit of internalized ableism

I’m losing my grip on reality. Each hour of the day slips from beneath my fingertips before I can even close my hand.

My motor functions are so much slower these days.

I walk through a persistent haze, going through the motions, but I am never present for them. My body acts on autopilot, but the battery is on low.

I’m smart—I always have been—I’m an engineer for crying out loud—but I don’t think I can access that anymore. My intelligence is locked behind a firewall in my brain.

Do you know how insane that is? Being unable to use your own mind?

All my judgments are tinted because the brightness is turned down. I think my brain is in battery-saver mode.

The fatigue is the worst because I can feel it all throughout my body. No amount of sleep seems to recharge me. I am perpetually tired and confused and dizzy and unaware.

I’m sure my eating habits don’t help. I’m just putting water in my gas tank. No amount of Fanta Orange and Lucky Charms is going to make up for the entire sections of the food pyramid I am missing. I try to start my brain up, but water isn’t quite nearly as combustible, and I end up with no output.

I want to be in control. I want my body to work. I don’t want my vision to get darker with every step I take.

Another day, another near-emergency. My heart beats too fast, my blood pressure falls too low. Sometimes presyncope lasts for longer than it needs to.

Sometimes I change colors like a chameleon on its deathbed.

My code is flagging for errors, but I’m running it anyway.

I think my computer is getting overheated. My face is hot to the touch.

If this was the Victorian Era, my symptoms would be romanticized. There’s something poetic about wasting away.

I fear that I’m getting weaker by the week.

Another day, another new problem. Which diagnosis does it fit under? I’m too tired to make a spreadsheet, not that I could log it if I did.

What month is it anyway? How many months have I been here? It seems like an eternity when I’m in pain, but time passes too quickly when I’m not.

I haven’t taken my meds in a while. I’ve given up on them working. Neglect is also a form of control.

I’m rotting inside. I’m rotting in my bed. I hardly leave my bed, but when was the last time I slept?

Surely this will have no repercussions.

I’m smart for a day, so my expectations are high, and as a result, my workload is too. I’m a workaholic on the days I’m present at all.

That’s who they see when they look at me. They don’t see that I’m sick. They don’t connect the dots on the days I wear a little less makeup than usual.

They don’t even bother to look.

I’m fighting for control over my mind and my body, and they are none the wiser.

If I were underweight, maybe they’d care a little. Maybe they’d treat me with a little more care. It’s easier to tell when something is wrong when you’re underweight.

I could collapse in the middle of a busy street and no one would even give it a second glance. They might even walk over me, thinking I was part of the sidewalk.

On the off chance they did see, what a shame it would be, for the one time I'm perceived, I lack bodily autonomy.

Is it worth being noticed when you're unconscious? Is it worth it if the one time I am seen is when I have no control over whether my mouth is hanging open or my shirt is riding up? I've spent so long meticulously curating the way I look to others, just to be totally helpless when it matters.

I can change my wallpaper but that doesn't make my phone work any better. And people don't see the wallpaper first, they see the cracks in the screen.

Sometimes I am conscious but not responsive. I lie like a corpse, observing, but not interacting as they crowd around me. Observing as they look at me.

They could not provide the help I need.

They only see me when I'm outside my body—a freakshow display of my vulnerability.

Maybe if I hit my head next time, I'll reboot. I could use a factory reset.

I often think of what it would be like to have a better brain. I think mine is haunted.

Do you have to be dead to be a spirit?

My head is possessed by a ghost that lurks in my nerves tissue and flesh. I hear it wail whenever I move, mourning a loss I cannot understand.

A restless spirit leads to a restless night, and each night I can't sleep I blame the ghost.

I wish sleep could fix me. I'm so tired all the time.

The ghost must be what powers my perpetual motion machine. Inertia isn’t enough. I keep going and going until eventually I explode.

I don’t think I’ll make it to my 40’s.

My body will break itself down until it can digest me, and I’ll eat myself like an ouroboros.

I don’t want to die, I just want to rest.

If I sleep for a good year, maybe I’ll feel human again. I would like to feel human again.

I dream that one day I will collapse, and people will rush me to the hospital. There, the doctors will find out exactly what is wrong with me, and that it can be treated by taking a pill. And then, I get better.

My face will look a little softer, my eyes a little less heavy. I’ll walk everywhere I go, and I’ll stand up in the mornings.

Maybe food will be less of a battle when I’m healthy.

Maybe I’ll burn in the atmosphere before I crash down to earth.

Right now, my collision course is set toward hospitals, tubes, and wires. I’ll only have to sign away my autonomy when I check-in.

Is there early prevention for a trojan virus?

Did I ever have a chance? Fated to keep running on empty until there’s nothing left to run.

I have no salvation, I am just a machine.

There is no happy ending for me.

#cripple punk #chronic illness #ARFID #disability #slam poetry #spoonie #invisible disability #my writing

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kakushigotofanclub · 6 days

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God I fuckin hate when people write fics about Obanai's eating issues and then they give him anorexia like ARGHH NOOOO THAT'S THE WRONG THING !!! He's literally the most perfect character ever to give ARFID to it's practically canon please please write him with ARFID write about ARFID nobody ever writes about ARFID

#tw eating disorder mention #not me writing multiple fics about obanai having ARFID to fix this problem #btw it's totally fine if you happen to write him or hc him with eating issues that are not ARFID it's fine i'm not mad at you!#i've written plenty of fics giving characters eds that don't even make sense just bc it's cathartic #and even if it's not a projection thing it's not your fault if you just don't know what ARFID is lol not a lot of people do #(this post has been brought to you by clementine's worst ARFID relapse to date ✌✌✌)#(i'm fine though i'm actually fine i've dealt with much worse eds ARFID doesn't feel like a big problem it's just an annoyance)#obanai iguro #iguro obanai

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saturn-sends-hugs · 1 year

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Fuck it, I’m seeing a lot of talk about Echo being a picky eater recently and I think I want to add my two neurodivergent cents to it lol

Firstly, I think it’s important to note that Echo is autistic. I know this hasn’t been stated anywhere or anything, but listing out his character quirks makes it pretty clear.

He repeats orders, arguing with his batch when they don’t follow them, and worries about doing things wrong. This feels like a safety thing to me, almost like telling kids in class to be quiet when the teacher is talking for no other reason than it feels right and them breaking rules is stressful. (can you tell I’m speaking from experience cause this whole post will be me speaking from experience bkshsjsks)

He reads and memorizes the reg manuals, liking to be caught up on the latest versions. Again, this feels like a safety thing; him wanting to know how things will work ahead of time so he can be prepared in every situation.

He doesn’t like being wrong, like when we see him refusing to back down on thinking the Seperatists Senator’s distress call is a trap (Avi Singh I think?). Even when the evidence starts poking holes in his theory, he doesn’t want to let it go. I’m not sure how to explain how this relates to autism other than that fact that autistic people just don’t like being wrong? Like it’s just hard to admit that and it’s almost scary to change your mind like that sometimes? Idrk honestly, I’m DEFINITELY not an expert lol, just saying my piece

So many of Echo’s character quirks relate directly to autism, and all of them are things I strongly relate to. (yes this is why he’s my favorite shush)

But most of all is his picky eating. And uh, this might actually get a tad heavy here but I hope this can maybe share an accurate perspective on it?

Many autistic people are fairly picky eaters, something I’ve definitely struggled with since I was born. We see Echo being skeptical of food multiple times, especially when they’re new to him. We see him eating rations bars, which would be familiar, without a second thought, but new things he’s extremely hesitant to try.

With that in mind and the headcanon (kinda) that he’s autistic, this sounds a lot like ARFID to me.

ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) is tricky to describe since there’s nothing conscious to it, its just somewhat of a mental hurdle? Like there’s a point you just can’t cross no matter what, a bit like ADHD and executive dysfunction, expect a lot stronger lol. It’s pretty much just picky eating to the extreme that a person cannot control and just makes your choices extremely limited when it comes to food.

This makes it difficult (ahem, impossible) to do seemingly basic things like trying absolutely any new foods. There are a few safe ones, maybe even a category of foods that are almost completely safe (for me: most deserts or fruits), but anything outside of that is different, it’s new, and it does not feel safe. When I say picky eating to the extreme, I mean extreme. If I’m literally starving, haven’t eaten in way too long, but the only things available aren’t safe foods? Well too bad guess I’m not eating today 🤷 It’s not much of a choice, it’s just being trapped by your own neurodivergent brain 🫠🫠🫠

It can feel childish and incredibly alienating to constantly turn down new foods or restaurants, or to order the same thing every time from a restaurant, off the kids menu or with special requests, and I just think that piece is being missed in Echo’s picky eating. Now I’m not telling anyone to stop making it a humorous thing cause it totally is in the show, but hey, I’m always here for the angst potential :)

Like what if the reason Echo still looks malnourished after joining the batch is because his safe foods like typical rations just aren’t readily available after the Empire springs up? What if the batch is on shore leave and decide to go to a restaurant and Echo has to either turn them down and explain, or force himself to go and try to tough it out? What if one of the batch makes a joke about Echo’s picky eating, just trying to make conversation or something, but Echo just fully shuts down? Maybe even Domino would joke about it at first, until Fives learned better and started helping Echo, but uhoh now he’s gone and Echo has to figure things out all over again with a new batch 🥲

Is this a fictional character that was grossed out by foods like two times and I’m just heavily projecting onto? Yeah, sure, but hey, I’d love to see more people recognizing this side of it and maybe connecting with it too :)

@gentle-hero-blog thanks for letting me sob abt this literally the minute u got home bkshsjskk <3333

#picky eater echo is so incredibly important to me #i could explain more abt arfid if that’s something anyone wanted (and honestly i might vent post abt it some day cause oof it sucks)#but i wanted to keep this one more echo focused than just ranty lol 😅#arc trooper echo #tbb echo #saturn sends thoughts #and feels stupid abt it lol #was i mid sob session while writing this because a joke directed at echo sent me into a mini panic attack maybe maybe but it’s fineeeeee #we love uncovering almost forgotten trauma from random things abt ur comfort character 🫠#way too early in the morning to be venting abt this 😅

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mirroredmuse · 4 months

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I’ve never bit the hand that fed me,

Because it never fed me.

I bit it because it mocked me.

Holding the food in my face.

I salivated, hoping it’d feed me.

A young stomach needs food.

A growing body need nourishment.

And I needed a hand.

The hand disappeared.

Never offering food.

Never letting me grow

Or know.

I’m now twenty

The hand has been gone for years.

And yet I can’t be my own hand.

I can’t bite a hand that never feeds.

ARFID Vs. afraid

#my poem #not a quote #original poem #poems and quotes #poems on tumblr #quotes #writing #arfid

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mychemicalroadworkahead · 7 months

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Hi hello PSA to people who don’t like when ingredients change and also to people with digestive issues

Olive Garden chicken gnocchi soup does have finely chopped onions in it now. I’m not sure when this changed exactly but it was sometime in the last month.

Additionally I’m not sure if this is all locations now or just this particular one but err on the side of caution if this will cause problems for you.

Apologies to anyone who can no longer consume. Was good soup

#IBS #arfid #food aversions #digestive issues #ingredient change #PSA #frank writes words

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lost-ash-es · 1 year

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trigger warning: eating disorder (arfid)

eat

didn't eat all day

didn't do shit didn't pray

my head's pounding

my stomach's begging

i'm doing anything else

just wishing my brain would melt

and i don't care how i look

but the pain won't take out its hook

just one meal, one bite

cuz this hunger it don't feel right

i'll stay hungry and in control

till the pangs takes away my soul

but i can't finish this poem

i'm too hungry to think of another rhyme

-ash

#writing #writer #poemsbyme #poetry #poets on tumblr #poems and poetry #sad poems #sad poetry #saddness #eating disoder trigger warning #eating disoder recovery #arfid #arfid problems #tw arfid

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mystical-cinnamoon · 7 months

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I have been ✨inspired✨ by @daydreamingofabsolutenonsense

They made a post abt tumblr wanting you to "find your people" with tags

So i'm tagging a bunch of shit I am/like to see who shows up

I'll probably add more later when I think of it

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dorianbrightmusic · 9 months

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Somewhat Quick Guidelines for How Not to be Triggering to ED-Havers

i'll do a more elaborate version of this some other time, but i have just consumed way too much youtube and i need to get some very mixed feelings out of my system

(tw for some discussion of EDs and the areas these render most sensitive)

Don't equate 'eating disorder' with 'anorexia nervosa'

The most common eating disorders are Binge-Eating Disorder and OSFED – according to Santomauro et al. (2021) and Yasmina and Keski-Rahkonen (2022), OSFED is more common than BED, so yeah. OSFED includes many, many categories in and of itself, including: subthreshold bulimia, subthreshold BED, atypical anorexia, purging disorder, and night eating syndrome. Orthorexia isn't recognised in the DSM-5-TR, but should be. I could not tell you what the most common form of OSFED is – I'd always thought it was atypical anorexia, but some studies I can find on a general population point more to purging disorder, subthreshold BN, subthreshold BED, (see Stice, Marti, & Rohde (2013), while this more recent study in a less reputable journal by Hay et al. (2023) places atypical AN as the most common OSFED. Either way, full-threshold AN is comparatively very, very rare.

Most eating disorders are not becoming emaciated + growing lanugo. If you did become emaciated and grow lanugo, then I'm proud of you for surviving your ED every day, because they are the absolute worst illnesses. However, you are also in a substantial minority. That doesn't make you any less valid—all it means is that EDs aren't necessarily traditional anorexia.

I'll get onto the main difference between atypical and non-atypical AN in a minute, but for now, let's say that even if atypical AN is horrifyingly common, most EDs aren't anorexia of any kind. Most EDs are one of the other kinds. And while good AN rep is great and rare, using 'eating disorder' to mean 'anorexia' is incredibly dismissive of the immense and debilitating of eating disordered behaviour out there. It's limited in the same way as using 'neurodivergent' to just mean 'autism + ADHD' – just as neurodivergence is much, much broader than Au/DHD (and this isn't to detract from the validity of Au/DHD folks), EDs are much, much broader than anorexia, and using 'eating disorder' as a synonym for 'thin and restrictive' is an extremely limited definition.

Moreover, many ED-havers go to immense, immense efforts to downplay their symptoms. The common refrain you'll hear in ED recovery is 'but I'm not sick enough to need help' – and the more narrow the operational definition of ED, the more people are made to feel they aren't sufficiently ill to have a real problem. EDs thrive in secrecy. They are often silent, and they are lethal. By using 'eating disorder' as a euphemism for 'anorexia', we give power to each of these illnesses by letting them remain silent, too macabre and mysterious to acknowledge.

Be specific. Do not talk about someone having 'an eating disorder'. Do not use it as a smokescreen behind which to hide nervousness. Say the exact disorder, or, if unsure, use an adjective: a restrictive eating disorder, an ED with purging, an ED with bingeing, etc.

2. 'Eating disordered' does not mean thin

This goes for all EDs, and especially for anorexia. Argh.

Bulimia is often overweight, and can be any weight. BED can be any weight. ARFID can be any weight. Pica, rumination disorder, night-eating syndrome, and orthorexia can be any weight. Moreover, a thin person with an ED may not have AN—they might have ARFID, BED, BN, or so many more.

And most importantly, most anorexics are not underweight. There exists a diagnostic distinction between AN and so-called atypical AN, wherein the sole difference is that atypical anorexics are not underweight. That's it. That's the one difference.

It's also a completely BS distinction, since ED psychopathology is as bad/worse in atypical AN, and atypical AN recovery rates are marginally worse. The two are the same illness. How thin you are does not necessarily correlate with how restrictive you are, and every use of 'anorexic' as a synonym for 'thin' is indicative of a total misunderstanding of the complexity of this disorder.

Have courage. Give me obese characters with BN and AN, normal-weight characters with BED, characters of all weights with ARFID. Please: I'm outright begging at this point.

3. Sensationalising weight makes us feel, unsurprisingly, fairly awful

Writing eating-disordered characters by focussing on their weight is an excellent way to sensationalise the illness and implant a horrible feeling in audience mouths. If I google search images for anorexia, I will see ribs and spines everywhere. If I google search images for bulimia, I will see extremely thin young women eating pizza or crouched beside toilets. If I google search images for binge-eating disorder, there's no end to the pizza.

There is no definitive size eating-disordered folks are. But the more we see EDs represented in extremes of thinness and fatness—think To the Bone or The Whale—the more we, as a society, convey the message that by not fitting a size mould, people aren't sick enough to have a problem. And that perpetuates the cycle of hiding disordered behaviours and getting thinner.

Making a show of how thin or fat certain characters are is a great way to make people with EDs feel embarrassed either by their similarity to the thin/fat people depicted ('wow, I am disgusting') or by their lack of similarity ('I was never anywhere near that thin. God, I couldn't even succeed at being a failure'). So, please don't emphasise specific emaciated or larger body parts as explicitly indicative of an eating disorder.

4. Please keep the numbers out of this

I don't have the perspective to speak from the POV of those with other disorders, but I can say this much: Anorexia is a very analytical illness—will I be small enough to fit in this space, hold this, do this? —and seeing someone else's minimum weight is an excellent way to make someone feel as if they are a failure for being less thin. This is especially problematic given that 'xxkg lady' is a headline that sells like wildfire in a world where most anorexics aren't thin. I love Hank Green and his work, but the CrashCourse video on eating disorders is an excellent example of how not to handle talking about weight: explicit height/weight numbers are mentioned for the hypothetical sick woman, emphasising the role of emaciation in the illness. It's a bit sensationalist and very triggering.

This is also one of the things Heartstopper (the comic – I haven't watched the show) does right. Though it's not perfect, Charlie's weight is never given a number, and while he's shown to be unhealthily thin, we never get an explicit close-up of any bones or the like. It's other physical symptoms, like fainting and constant coldness, that make it clear that he's seriously, seriously ill. And that took immense, immense tact. Also the fact that later on, after diagnosis, he's explicitly said to have anorexia, rather than the smokescreen of 'an ED', and that he still struggles after he starts recovery... those are all very respectful ways of writing ED-having characters. Alice Oseman, I tip my hat to you.

I'd recommend against mentioning numbers of calories in anything (guess who once scrolled through an ED blog, found out the number of calories in a normal breakfast food, and then was promptly very scared of eating such), or about mentioning explicit amounts of food. Moreover, if you're going to depict a character eating, please do it carefully.

If you want to mention any numbers when writing eating-disordered characters: mention blood pressure, temperature or rate of weight loss/gain (I don't think it's awful to say 'lost/gained this much in this much time), but keep the discourse around rate of any weight change as neutral as possible. If I say I weighed xyz kilograms at my sickest, that doesn't do justice to the illness. If I say my temperature was about 35 degrees and my blood pressure was 59/40, it does, but it's not exactly something that can be made competitive as easily.

5. Don't sensationalise amounts

See above. We don't need to know the explicit number of slices of pizza/bags of xyz/bars of abc that a character consumed during a binge, nor how little a character with a restrictive ED had for breakfast. There is an immense amount of horror that can be engendered through implication. One exception—showing that a character can remember the exact number of whatever food they consumed (so long as this isn't being done in kcal/kj) is an excellent way to show disordered eating behaviour! e.g. I generally count how many water crackers I eat in a snack and have strict (low) limits on how many I'm allowed per day. This is proof AN doesn't go away too quickly.

6. Don't sensationalise weight, generally

This goes out to every time i've seen neuroleptics bashed for having the side-effect of weight gain, but without it being then explained that there are a host of many, many other side effects, most of which are much worse than weight gain.

This goes out to every time I walked out of the ED clinic and saw the Jenny Craig ads across the road.

This goes out to every time I see losing weight promoted as a panacea for every single health condition, including those that cause weight gain.

Showing weight gain in an overly negative light or isolating it when it's one of many, many other things in a category is just tasteless. Please, don't do this.

7. Don't sensationalise kinds of food

Some binge-eaters will never touch pizza or chocolate in a binge. Some anorexics friggin' love chocolate. Don't assume a diagnosis necessarily means one will have or lack a sweet tooth.

8. Setting up ground for comparisons is... worrisome

We probably don't want to know the specifics of someone's diet, clothing size, or any of the like. When handling EDs, please don't focus on the specifics of what someone consumes or how large/small they are.

9. Don't assume EDs are character traits

BN and AN are correlated with perfectionism and harm avoidance, amongst other things, but EDs aren't personality traits. Bingeing is not sloppiness. Restriction is not vanity. Please don't assume these behaviours are indicative of what's in the soul.

10. Please don't focus on white, young, otherwise-neurotypical women

People of all ethnicities, ages, genders, and neurotypes can have eating disorders, natch. There is no single way to look or be eating-disordered.

11. Please don't assume we get better immediately

When you live with an ED, you live with a voice in the back of your head that is constantly vying to hit the self-destruct button. And it isolates you and mimics your own voice, and after a time, it becomes extremely difficult to tell it from your own thoughts. It's being taken over and possessed, semi-conscious, from the inside. It's living in a trance and being made a puppet. It is learned helplessness. It is sewn into the fabric of your thought, your speech, your values. Even before you are acutely sick, you live with it inside you. Learning to survive an ED is learning to live with it beside you—becoming less helpless to the behaviour, but no less aware of the thought for a very long time. Recovery is possible, but it's most certainly not linear, and most certainly a long, long process.

Recovery is not merely the cessation of the behaviour, or weight restoration. It's a disservice to ED-havers to say you can easily get to a point of never having ED thoughts ever again. So know that we are living with our illnesses every day, but that even so, we can move on. Grant us the grace to let us admit we won't always be well, and guide us nevertheless to believing in our own ability to recover.

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