#toxic friendship?

[chibird]

Although it might hurt when someone exits your life, it can actually be a positive change in the end! It might take some time before you realize it, and that’s okay.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

#toxic #relationship #cute #comic #friendship

[hayatheauthor]

"Why do you care so much about accidentally leaving people out?" Because I've had friend groups where they were the planets and I was their Pluto.

I've had friend groups where our dynamics revolved around a Sun, with everyone vying for their attention if only to bask in their light for a mere moment. Where our thinly strung bonds collapsed the second our Sun left.

I've had friend groups where they bonded as Saturn's rings, finding solace in their shared shortcomings while isolating those more talented than them.

But I've also had friend groups where we bond as Neptune and Uranus—so similar we could be known as twins. Friend groups like Venus and Earth: so awfully different, yet it was those differences that kept us together.

And I would rather create a social system like the latter than the former.

#social system see what i did there (solar system) #idk man i'm sleep deprived this is so half-assed BYE #hayatheauthor #haya sameer #writing community #writer things #writing advice #writer community #haya: writes #friend group #friendship #toxic friends #toxic frienship #poetry #spilled poetry #words words words #short poetry #spilled ink #creative writing #writing stuff #writing inspiration #writeblr #writer stuff #writer

[akicklineisinevitable]

no genuinely i think the fastest way to a Max Jägerman Redemption Arc(TM) is putting him in the drama club. literally it would help him get over his toxic masculinity AND let him be a dramatic bitch without being a bully about it. High School Musical his ass

#toxic masculinity is DEAD. he DANCES NOW. #he and ruth could bond over theatre!!! he could help her get over her stage fright!!!! #i need ruth and max friendship they would just be such chaotic besties #originals #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #hatchetverse #hatchetfield #hatchetfield musicals #hatchetfield series #hatchetfield universe #max jägerman

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....'' #and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her. #all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond. #so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said: #the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

[critter-wizard]

you are all I have, you are the eyes that see, the air that breathes, how can I worship anything else?

#john design is never going to be consistant he's an eldrich being ok? ok #malevolent #malevolent podcast #john #john doe #john malevolent #arthur #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #jarthur #private eyes #i guess #but itsITS MORE NUANCED THAN THAT OKAY #im havbing feelings about eldrich gods and worship and weird fucked up intimacy and love and friendship #and how can a god who has only been worshipped express that love in turn #how can something that was never raised or nurtured or loved born into a world of chaos with innate bloodlust ever progress if it is #not forgiven #how can a person adjust and live on if they are not allowed the space and decency to grow as such john failed yellow #HOW can you learn to move forwards. you must move forwards #anyway I <3 toxic codependency (in media) ok? ok

[alienssstufff]

(Why are you leaving me?)

#stufffsart #quackity #quackity fanart #slimecicle #slimecicle fanart #dapduo #not ship #qsmp spoilers #qsmp dinner #qsmp #qsmpblr #mcytblr #give it up for toxic codependent friendships yipeee X]] #(they do not know this) #(elquackity has no idea how much he emotionally relies on slime yipeeee)

[moonhedgegarden]

#spiritual healing #healing #self care #self love #friendship #friends #self esteem #boundaries #wellness #mental wellness #emotional wellness #love #relationships #self healing #healing journal #journaling #photos #positive #toxic positivity

[moonlit-positivity]

How to recognize when you need to set a boundary

Physical signs of your body telling you "no":

Bile in your throat

Panic

freeze response aka frozen or paralyzed w fear

Heart paced real fast

Anxiety

Unsettled stomach/gut feeling

Head fuzzy

Head & chest feels tight

Face might scrunch up in disgust/disbelief/pain etc

"ick" or "ew"

fainting or feeling weak as a result

crying

feeling like hurting yourself

cheeks hot, face flushed (embarrassment out of fear or humiliation)

fight/flight/freeze/fawn response gets triggered

body feels "charged" or "activated"

wanting to yell or shout back

wanting to run away

wanting to hide

wanting to stuff yourself with food/substances/alcohol etc to numb the pain

heart feels heavy or pounds at awkward intervals

not being able to eat

head shakes "no"

backing away

asking or screaming for help

feeling scared

feeling "on alert"

not knowing what to say

arms protecting yourself

not being able to move

Emotional signs that you are not safe:

Unsettling environment

Fawning aka "going with what they want" even if you don't feel good about it

Uncomfortable

Knowing the other person doesn't like it when you express things different from their own beliefs

Knowing if you spoke up you would be either mocked or downplayed or told you're being too sensitive

Being told you're "disrespectful" or "not allowed" to talk back or disagree in any way

Being told you're too chicken or being forced to feel dumb or stupid if you don't join in

Being openly mocked or talked about by the whole group

Expressing a concern and they get mad at you for being mad at them

You're always the one in the wrong even when you were the one being hurt

They use grandiose words and phrases to assert dominance

"walking on eggshells"

They continue to do the things you asked them to stop doing even after countless times asking them

They don't care about how you feel

They make no effort to acknowledge your feelings or acknowledge how their behavior is affecting you

They force you to participate in drugs/alcohol

They hold their power and good deeds they have done for you over your head and threaten to stop helping or support you or even take back what they have given you

They are physically aggressive/ violent

Rage

Rage during substance use

Touching you without asking

Downplaying anything you need as not important

What to do:

Take a deep breath

Take your time figuring it out

Remind yourself this isn't your fault

Stay focused on the behavior- because they WILL try to detract from it & turn it around on you

Gather your resources

Consider leaving or cutting contact

Consider therapy or online support groups to help yourself breathe and find safer spaces for yourself

Have an exit plan

Do not engage with the arguments & emotional bait

Cultivate your privacy

Cultivate your security

Cultivate yourself a safe space

Prepare yourself for the backlash

Ask someone safe to go with you

Call someone safe and ask them to stay on the phone with you if you do not feel safe

Self defense tools like pepper spray & brass knuckles

Know you're worth the exit

Take yourself seriously when they dont

Honor the gut feelings

Restore faith in your judgement

Honor your voice

Honor your body

Honor your "no"

Ask for a pause- "I need a break."

Ask for clarity- "Can you clarify that?"

Ask what their intentions are- "Are you being helpful or hurtful?"

Bring attention to the behavior and how it's making you feel- "I'm not comfortable with the way you're ignoring my concerns."

Make direct eye contact & deepen your voice- "You need to stop."

Do not apologize

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps!

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #bpd #positivity #how to say no #setting boundaries #communication #relationships #toxic relationships #toxic friendships #toxic family #reminders #suggestions #compassionate reminders

[kai-strophics]

Canon gay rep is good, really it's good but oh...it is OH SO boring....Pass the Queerbait cocaine....

#nothing is more romantic than queerbait #“You saddle me with unnecessary feelings” #“i bet we'd make a great team if we worked together #TRUE YAOI is found in the two fictional men with a stronger and more toxic relationship with eachother than anyone else #akeshu #shuake #i tag shuake but let it be known im an AkeShu girlie #narumitsu #wrightworth #and all the several other dramatic male friendships #yaoi

[coeurify]

bff!ellie who just hates every single girl you get with and you just don’t know why!! why she scoffs every time your eyes get all sparkly and you bat your eyelashes when you tell her about your newest crush. why she tugs you on her lap at parties when a girl eyes you for a little too long. the smallest fight with your situationship and ellie is demanding shes no good for you, and you should break it off. ellie’s just being a good friend.. right? just looking out for you when she tells you the good times will never last whenever a girl gifts you flowers or takes you on a date. it has nothing to do with how she was drunk that one night and pressed her lips to the shell of your ear, hot breath seeping into your brain as she whispered, “none of those girls can be me, none of them.” right?

#giggle… toxic female friendship w her

[peterokii]

high school trauma or why i cant make friends

#vent #personal #toxic friendship #adhd rsd

[keepyourpantsongohan]

I have a Venn Diagram to share

#satoru gojo #kakashi hatake #mostly this post was inspired by me having the phrase 'toxic yaoi friendship' stuck in my head wanting a way to use it HAHA #the bi flag colours are. as always. intentional #also i struggled on describing the anime magic thing. because kakashi is EXTREMELY powerful. and ppl admire that #but ultimately no one's really like 'wow what a freak' about him specifically. but they are definitely like that for gojo #i could add a point about love triangles too but this is v long already #also kakashi is ALSO silly but not as a trauma response. silliness sidegig #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jujutsu kaisen manga spoilers #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jujutsu kaisen #jjk series #naruto series #ayesha talks anime #paint edits #nonsense #i also thought about adding a 'would call me a slur'/'wouldn't call me a slur' point jokingly but i thought that it might be too soon #(i haven't read the manga but i do keep hearing things against my will) #venn diagram

[fallenstarzz]

Thinking many many thoughts about how Jean was Riko's partner for a YEAR and was still rooming with Goon #3. Because that was how unwilling Riko was to let go of Kevin. And how that implies that Jean was placed as his partner both because of the practicality of Kevin being gone AND as a punishment for letting him go in the first place. Being partners with Jean could actually slow Riko down depending on how often he's hurt (because I don't think Riko was all that exempt from the rules to the point where his partner's performance would completely not matter) and he was still placed there. Riko was just THAT angry at him over Kevin's escape. And all the while he was keeping Kevin's side of room like an altar, even back when he didn't even think Kevin could PLAY, because of an injury he caused.

#'average aftg fan thinks about Kevins side of the room once a day.' factoid. headboard georg (me) is thinking on it at all times #everything about the perfect court makes me so absolutely insane i am chewing on glass #do you guys think that Jean would still have distracted Riko if he knew Kevin was going to leave? #moreover. do you guys REALLY think Jean didn't at least suspect he was leaving #because tsc is probably going to prove me wrong but I think he would and he knew #anyway. i said it before and i will say it again #the kevriko toxic teen girl homoerotic friendship rizz is unparalleled #riko moriyama the man that you are. they could never make me think you're uninteresting I want to use your brain as a saltshaker #I don't think Riko (or Tetsuji for that matter since he prompted it) ever actually realised what Kevin's injury MEANT. like for real #it wasn't putting him in his place it was destroying the very idea of the perfect court. it was DONE #if Kevin hadn't recovered. if the plot of AFTG hadn't happened. how long would it have taken for Riko to realize #that HE killed the very thing he built his life around and was just dragging it behind him like a corpse (Jean) #kevin day #riko moriyama #jean moreau #the sunshine court #all for the game #the perfect court

[selfhealingmoments]

#friends #one sided friendships #relationships #life lessons #loner #self worth #self help #i am worthy #therapy #inspiring #manifesting #being yourself #belonging #new life #living in the present #living well #simple living #fake friends #toxic person #toxic partner #one sided love #no friends #embrace

[chaosmagicwanda]

No matter how good you could be to somebody, no matter how much you love them, they can and will turn their backs on you.

#sad post #sad posting #sad thoughts #betrayal #fake friends #fake people #toxic friends #toxic friendship #toxic people #toxic behavior #grieving a friendship #friendship breakup #friendship loss #breakup #losing a friend #grief #heartbroken #heartbreak

[kagooleo]

johto’s champion and chronicler for the deity of the ilex shrine, it’s lyra!🌿

this one took me a while due to trying out different techniques (studying a Lot of art nouveau) and making a couple changes to her outfit (the details help), but I’d like to think she’s learned a lot in her journey and wanted to reflect her experience more in her champion fit

her specialty would be in fairy types and her meganium’s divergent evolution is grass/fairy 🧚🪷

and a bonus w/ the johto gang after the photoshoot!

#kagarts #trainer lyra #meganium #pokemon hgss #get ready for a bigass tag wall again HYAH #her team picks are meganium (grass/fairy + shiny!) azumarill togekiss alola ninetales gardevoir and clefable (mega evolves for fairy/steel) #terrains and high sp atk + statuses galore + her dino can cause a stronger confusion (like toxic w badly poisoned but its w/ Bad headaches) #i'll probably make changes as i go design wise for meganium but colors were inspo from sampaguita flowers #the flower's associated with true friendship and utilized in medicines or given as good gestures in various traditions and celebrations #and also bc she's 🇵🇭 babey!!!!!!!! i'm slapping all my favs w the pinoy beam and not even the dinos are safe >:] #since her dino is shiny a lot of the colors are just a few color diffs where the little orbs are + warmer tones. gotta make a ref sometime #not sure if I should tag the others bc the focus is on her. but the quartet always pulls thru for each other #i like thinking silver gets comfortable enough to be the friend that's “s'cuse you my Friend asked for No pickles” #silver in line picking up her food like “yeah yeah i know her and btw that’s CHAMPION lyra to you. YES she ordered a strawberry shake” #both of their meganiums are Best friends and silver likely uses his dino when you rematch him (and his would beee grass/dragon) #calling this piece Done though oh my god this semester has been nuts. don't wanna take any longer on a single piece or i'm eating tree bark #tumblr's gonna kill the quality on it but idgaf im Done. i need to tidy up my sheezy now