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writershapeholeonthedoor · 8 months

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Why Twilight is better when we make it gay

a overly detailed, totally unecessary, post that wants to prove that Twilight is better when we make it 🏳️‍🌈 GAY 🏳️‍🌈

So, follow along 👇🏻

Esme with This Bella

Kinda of set up the vibes of Carine or something, so I'm all on board with this. You know, this Bella has some serious aspirations in life. She's getting her master's degree, maybe a doctorate even, in Philosophy, Greek Mythology, ancient history, literatute or something oddly specific that takes a full minute to even say it. You know, she's a nerd. Esme loves her for it.

Bella also loves to spend a ridiculous amount of time listening to Esme talk about anything, she also sits in the garden with a book when Esme is arms deep in the dirt, and they for sure spend their days off making food for homeless people or volunteering in shelters or knitting clothes and blankets for donation. Well, Esme does most of the knitting, but Bella has no problem holding the wool for her.

Rosalie with This Bella

Okay, so this Bella is still pretty shy and clumsy, but she has a backbone and knows what she wants. She’s also a flirt, even if a bit awkward because of her shyness. She also has a stack of dad jokes ready to be used and she’s not afraid of doing so. You can’t blame her, she’s just socially weird and she makes jokes when she’s uncomfortable. Which Rosalie gets. She doesn’t hate Bella for no reason at all, as we see in most Rosella’s fics, she’s just determined to keep a safe distance. It all goes to shit, obviously, when Bella starts showing up at her house to work on a school project with Edward.

Bella is a mess around Rosalie. A gay mess. She stumbles over her words and her face is constantly red, but she keeps smiling and she finds Rosalie’s sneers particularly funny. She breaks Rosalie’s walls by not doing anything else, really. She’s just there, and she talks with Rosalie, and she has no problem backing away when Rosalie needs a break.

When they get together, Bella’s favorite activity is to ride in Rosalie’s fancy cars. She’s still scared, but she loves it when Rosalie goes so fast that everything outside is a blur. Sometimes they will ride in complete silence, sometimes there’s song playing, sometimes they start telling stories to each other, sometimes Bella has a whole new stack of dad jokes to tell.

Bella also develops a taste for motorcycles, a passion she’s eager to engage with Jasper. So, every once in a while, Rosalie will be working in the garage under a car and she will hear Bella’s bike pulling outside. She just knows she’s supposed to go there, so she goes and finds Bella waiting for her with a helmet and a bright smile. Rosalie is smitten.

Bella also has a way to make Rosalie feel like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. She is aware of her beauty, always has and always will be, but she can’t help but feel special when Bella looks at her with those green eyes that kind of makes her forget that the world is fucked up. At least for a while.

They would go off to college together. Rosalie would be getting another engineering degree and Bella would get a bachelor's in Chemistry or Biology, maybe Psychology. She would whine and complain every day, though Rosalie is sure she’s only doing that to piss her off.

And Bella would have to learn to enjoy baseball because Rosalie just loves it.

Alice with This Bella

These two are the only ones I see working with Bella’s personality being the closest to canon. You know, happy little Alice with a slightly depressed Bella, who also has some low self-esteem problems. Bella is aware of her intelligence, though, and she also would impose some clear boundaries, like not sneaking into her room while she was sleeping and making her a part of discussions to make decisions and not just dropping shit at her for her to deal with. Alice has zero problems with her immortality, so she would have no problem turning Bella when the girl felt ready, although she asks Bella to be sure she had experienced everything she wanted as a human beforehand.

In this scenario, Alice doesn’t force Bella to be her personal human Barbie doll. Actually, she steals Bella’s hoodies very often, to the point where the girl has to have a search party in Alice’s gigantic closet one day. One of their favorite thing to do together would be to watch the stars and Alice finds it amusing to come up with fake information about space or fake names for constellations. It took Bella a very long time to notice this and, by the time she did, she had already spread some of it to her friends. They also go to the movies a lot and there’s a lot of dancing in the rain, even if Bella can’t barely keep herself standing.

Alice would be Charlie’s absolute favorite, of course. They would be pals, you know. Charlie would take her fishing one day - when Alice manages to convince him to go somewhere other than La Push - and he would teach her very patiently all he knew.

Tanya with This Bella

This Bella is grumpy. She has a lot of self-derogatory jokes to make, she’s sarcastic and she likes using it as a weapon. Tanya finds it not so amusing, quite concerning actually, but then Bella will flash her with one of her side smiles that makes her knees go ridiculously weak and Tanya will forget what she should be worried about.

Bella moves slowly, very slowly, and her shoulders are a bit drooped as if she can’t hold herself straight. For Tanya, it takes a lot of patience because, even with how much time she had to adjust to humans, she’s not used to spending so much time around one. Especially one that takes so long to get down the stairs for no reason. Tanya is also the most romantic person alive, so Bella needs to be prepared to basically everything.

Tanya is sugar mommy. Bella tries to fight it, but there’s no point. Tanya is always giving her presents, booking tickets, taking her to weekend getaways, and making every single desire come to life. It takes Bella out of balance in the beginning. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, to the point where she asks Irina to help her talk with Tanya to slow down a bit. It helps… until Bella shows a slight interest in something new and things skyrocket again.

They met in college. Tanya is a teacher - not her teacher because that would be too much - and Bella is getting her degree in History or Sociology. Bella can skate, so it’s not uncommon for Tanya’s students to leave her classroom and find Bella leaning against the wall holding her skate under her arm while waiting for her to go get lunch.

Once she turns, Bella goes around feeling very proud of her coven leader wife, but she wants nothing to do with it. She would hate the responsibility of it.

Kate with This Bella

Have you ever heard of a chaotic duo? They’re it.

Bella is all about adventures and trying new things, and Kate is… well, she has zero respect for humans’ mortality, which almost becomes a problem once or twice. Tanya, Carmen and Eleazar had to remind her more than once that humans couldn’t jump from a plane with no parachute, even if Kate was supposed to grab her before hitting the ground. It’s not like she doesn’t care if Bella gets hurt, because she does! Her eyes fill with tears that will never drop every time she sees even a scratch on Bella’s skin - which happens quite a lot - but she hasn’t been human for a long time and it’s easy to forget a few things when she gets excited about something.

They would do everything together and Kate would teach her to do anything she knew, like surf or change a house’s electric system. Eventually, after Bella is turned and good to go, they would totally have one of those handyman services where they would go around town helping people with the most mundane of things like installing a shower, changing the plumbing, changing tires, all of that. They would have fun doing those things and then running as fast as they could to jump off a cliff at the end of the day.

#Twilight #gay twilight #bella swan #esme cullen #rosalie hale #alice cullen #tanya denali #kate denali #bella x rosalie #bella x alice #bella x esme #bella x tanya #bella x kate #kristen stewart

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rottingfern · 2 months

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all the wine is all for me || a Bad Omens fanfic

Summary: Noah’s just admiring his gains. Perhaps he’s a little more proud of his progress than the average guy. There’s definitely not a secret third reason for why he’s spending so much time in front of the mirror…

Pairing: Noah x himself lol

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: unbeta'd trash. masturbation. narcissism in the greek mythology way not the psychology way

A/N: I drank a lot of wine (what else is new) and also @throughwoodsanddirt showed me that one panel from the comics that made me cackle so hard because damn Noah just really thinks he's hot as fuck huh and then I cackled until I wrote this fic

Brainrot Club: @familiarscarsxelectrichearts @throughwoodsanddirt @cowpokeomens

Masterlist here.

Title taken from All the Wine by The National; banner made by me (using Caravaggio's Narcissus); dividers by @saradika

Noah’s reflection is smiling at him.

That, of course, is explainable by the fact that he himself is smiling; grinning, in fact, because he just looks so damn good. His gains this month were frankly goddamn impressive. Already he can see the widening of his chest to form an inverted triangle of his torso, the definition building in his bicep when he flexes.

What worries him, though, is the naughty glint in his reflection’s eye, the too-sharp canines, the raise of a single eyebrow that he definitely is not capable of reproducing. Never has been.

He knows this look. Once, he had a fling with this girl who was an absolute freak, gets him half-hard even just remembering half the things she got up to between the sheets. And the fucking cherry on top: she loved making movies. Editing those for her unfailingly devolved into multiple-hours long dates between him and his hand. The face he’s making - his reflection is making - is the one that painted his face in the movies when she, pointing her phone to get his reaction, would ask him for the nastiest shit he’d thought only a fantasy in porn.

So it makes no sense that he’s looking at his reflection like this, because it’s not like he’s into himself.

His hand beelines south down the expanse of his strong (so goddamn strong, he’ll have definition in his six-pack any day now) stomach. That’s definitely not something he’s doing of his own volition. He’s not that self-absorbed.

Well, that’s a lie. He’s not gay (unless you count the exploratory hand stuff him and Nick did as teens), but if he could, he’d totally fuck himself.

It takes a bit of effort to shuck the grey sweats he’d worn down his hips with one hand, distracted as he is with the shapes his other arm makes as it continues to flex in the mirror. These used to be pretty loose, just crossing the line of oversized on him. Now, they’re filled by thick thighs and marble-cut hip flexors. With a single finger, he traces the vee framing trimmed pubic hair. These used to show just a hint of the magic underneath. Now, his hardness bulges a vulgar display.

Dropping the band even just an inch springs the tip of his cock, leaking and ready to play. It’s the only part of his body he’s never been self-conscious of, because God or whoever else decided he at least deserved a win in that department when they decided to make him a skinny bitch with weak lungs. Gives the girls who settle for him a nice reward.

Except, he never gets this hard for all the pretty girls he bags. This - the red, burning tip, the feeling like if he touches it he’ll cum in just a few strokes, the pain of wanting to draw the pleasure out as long as he can - is reserved only for the times he’s fucking his hand.

There’s a quiet battle of wills that follows between giving up inspecting his gains and giving into his own touch. He cups his balls through his sweats, head kicking back tugged by an invisible hand at the squeeze. Noah’s sure the column of his throat looks positively delicious like this, has seen enough photos of himself in this devout escape onstage, and thinks he’s no better than all the commenters saying they’d like to lick it. He’d do it instantly, and he knows it’d feel good.

In the end, the sweats come down his thighs. He’s never denied himself pleasure so heavily mounted, not when paraded before him so, not when the boundaries are inexistent. He won’t let himself be fucking tease.

The drag of the calluses on his fingers against the tenderhot flesh of his cock sends gooseflesh up his arms.

His toes numb for a moment as he finally takes himself in hand at the base, breath hitching wetly as he watches his hand wrap against himself. He’s heavy in his hand even to himself, so thick and veiny and so hard. A drop of precum splashes his thigh before he even has a chance to run his hand up the length. He collects it with his pinky when he reaches the tip, not daring let it go to waste.

Thunder thighs has always been a confusing insult to him. Thighs are the strength in legs, the support to a body, the place you put your hand to hint your desire to a lover. Thighs are his handles when buried in a lover - the cradle to what every person wants most from another. Years of touring and running out of underwear have made him accustomed to going commando, but since his thighs filled out - though he now can afford to just buy a five-pack Hanes on a whim - he prefers it. There’s never a better cradle for a commando cock than a thick set of thighs.

The overeager spit bubbles as it mingles with the precum on his palm, glistening in the mid-afternoon sun. The way they rapidly deflate feels like a countdown, one he’s determined to beat, and so finally, finally, he takes himself in hand earnestly.

He can’t help the strangled hiss that escapes.

Noah’s usually pretty quiet in bed. Doesn’t like the vulnerability that comes with voicing his pleasure, with sharing the secret of how easy to please he is with a partner. But, fuck, does he love talking himself through it. “C’mon, baby,” he chants to his hand as it increases speed. “So fucking good,” he groans through gritted teeth.

His voice is so fucking smooth. So fucking deep when he speaks through his chest. Just the perfect amount of grit that, if he shuts his eyes, he can feel reverberate through his nape and scalp and bang against the back of his nose as the sound waves travel to his cochlea.

He won’t shut his eyes now. Never - not when he’s looking like that with his brow furrowed, gaze hard and nearly icy, nostrils flared and jaw clenched tight.

He clenches it tighter, raises his chin just so to create the illusion of that perfect jawline.

“Noah,” he moans, “god, Noah, fuck.” It echoes in his ear, and it is his voice, but he swears he didn’t feel his lips move as he watches them round around each syllable in his reflection.

His name sounds so good rolling off his own tongue.

Release hits Noah not like a full-speed bullet train, but the way it feels when you pulled your first tooth: slow, painful, and with each tug more builds up until it just pops out. Only after does he register the relief, the shoot of tension up his spine to burst behind his eyes and temples, the numbness in his fingers as he struggles to jerk himself through.

Just those few final caresses. His cum blinds him with exploding stars and broken breaths. It paints the mirror in sloppy strokes of seminal goo, but he supposes that’s what Windex is for.

Before he registers the signal from brain to limb he kneels, the rough of his wall-to-wall carpet digging into his knees as he releases his eager tongue. The spend is saltybitter when it coats the bed of his taste buds, slimy as it runs down the ramp of his throat. Noah makes sure to collect every single drop.

He doesn’t feel shame when his eyes meet his own in the wet, distorted reflection once he’s done savoring himself. “You did so well, baby,” he says. “Such a good baby.”

His reflection nods eagerly, eyelids fluttering blissfully, head dropping as Noah’s neck stays stiff and still, eyes wide open.

God damn, he is a sight to be seen.

#noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #crackfic #noah x noah #fern words

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thesunshineriptide · 2 years

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I was thinking, what if while at Y/N's house the boys end up finding the Grimm Brothers/Original stories they're based off. Like the original Snow White or Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson. And Y/N admitting that they were more familiar with those versions than the Disney version was expecting to be skinned alive when they first arrived in Twisted Wonderland

I’m so so fucking pumped for this ask because I’m a huge NERD and I know the original stories so well. Fairytales and folk tales and mythology are one of my special interests you cut straight to my heart thank you anon. Also you didn’t specify what universe this is so I’m putting it in the our world au and if you want me to do the other characters I will GLADLY do them I adore these. ++ I will probably do Idia reacting to Greek myths sometime soon but my brain is honestly kinda mush and narrowing down just one myth is a little hard but I’ll get back to it

This Isn’t How Our Story Ends

Characters: Riddle, Trey, Leona, Ruggie, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Rook, Idia, Malleus, Lilia

Warning: the original tales of each story are dark. As such, there will be mentions of mature topics such as death, poisoning, drowning, murder, insanity, and more. Read at your own discretion.

Cw// spoilers for chapters 1-5, swearing, dark topics and themes.

“What’s this?” He had asked innocently, holding up the book in question.

“Huh? Oh, that’s…” Yuu thought of how to explain this, “Well, it’s a story. Kinda. Um…well…”

Hamlet

It’s fairly well known that the story of Hamlet is the origin of The Lion King (although interestingly enough it seems there’s a real life historical parallel with the story of Sundiata Keita) thus Leona and Ruggie’s interests in this particular story may wain. Shakespeare is dreadfully dry at times and best performed live, which means…Movie night! For this particular iteration I would recommend watching a live taping rather than a film adaptation because otherwise you just miss out on like, half the important shit. Also if you haven’t read or seen hamlet there’s a lovely novelized adaptation that actually adds MORE content and makes it very fun

Leona sat back as he watched the actors take the final bow. Ruggie was nervously sitting beside him, shifting from side to side like he couldn’t quite get comfortable.

“They all died?”

“Yep.” Yuu responded dispassionately.

“And the uncle…” Leona started, eyes looking over everything in the room except Yuu and Ruggie, “In the, uh…”

“That’s the king of beasts, in your world.” They said, “It’s…yeah.”

“He killed for the throne?” Ruggie asked, somewhat surprised.

“I mean, Leona tried to kill Malleus for a game, I’m not sure why you’re surprised.”

“I wasn’t gonna kill ‘im.” Leona grumbled, “Just put him out of commission for a while. Not tryina start a war or anything…”

“Okay, you attempted to maybe kill him.”

“That’s not- whatever.” He sighed, “So, I’m the uncle. Is Ruggie the guy who got stabbed? The…sheriff? Or whatever?”

“I guess in this analogy, yes.”

“Gross.” Ruggie wrinkled his nose, “I’d rather be the girl.”

“Ophelia?”

“Is that the one that drowned?”

“Yes?” Yuu worried.

“Yeah, her. Anything to get away from this analogy.”

Leona snickered and ruffled Ruggie’s hair, earning him a harsh smack to the forearm which he ignored.

“Did the king of beasts have his own sheriff? According to your world?”

“Uh, he had the hyenas. And Zazu, I guess, but none were exactly loyal.”

“Did the king of beasts kill his nephew?” Ruggie blurted out.

“Nah, but he tried. Instead, the nephew killed him.”

Leona wrinkled his nose, joking in a deadpan tone, “Guess it’s time to off the little furball back home.” When neither Yuu nor Ruggie laughed, he frowned, “You know I’m joking, right? I wouldn’t kill my nephew.”

“You tried to kill me.” Ruggie said.

“And me.” Yuu agreed.

“That was ONE TIME-“

The Little Mermaid

Fun facts the little mermaid was written by Hans Christian Andersen and depending on the historical lens you like to apply was maybe gay. Also, the sea witch doesn’t have a name and doesn’t have eels which means Azul and the twins will be sorely disappointed. Anyway the original story is an angst fest because Hans was an emo at his core and the princess dies at the end

Azul stared at the pages of the book as he slowly closed it. He adjusted his glasses, looking to the twins as he finished. The two looked sick, wearing grim expressions. Floyd stared to his shoes while Jade looked to Azul.

The Octavinelle dorm leader cleared his throat, then took a sip of his water. After a few moments, he turned to Yuu.

“This was a deeply unpleasant experience.”

Yuu snorted a little and nodded, “Fair enough. It’s honestly what I thought was gonna happen to me when I made that deal with you.”

All three of them looked shocked and stared at Yuu like they’d grown three heads.

“Yuu…” Jade started tentatively.

“You know turning to sea foam is like, the worst punishment you can get in the Coral Sea, right?” Floyd cut in, eyes blunt.

Yuu’s expression dropped. They turned and checked each of the trio to see if they were joking and…no, no that’s real.

“What?”

Jade stared at them in deep contemplation, before piping up, “I suppose you wouldn’t know that, it isn’t something the kingdom advertises, per say…”

“But it’s something almost every merman knows.” Azul finished, “This version of the sea witch is…cruel. Unusually so, to sentence a mermaid to that hell.”

“And a princess, nonetheless.” Jade agreed, “Incredibly vile.”

“‘M real glad that’s now our real history. Just somethin the land folk made up, although it’s still rude.” Floyd said, taking the book, “It’s a real stupid deal anyway, the sea witch didn’t even get anything from that. And she didn’t even have any eels!”

“Maybe it was a different sea witch? I dunno man, it’s honestly kinda what I thought I’d be in for.”

“Is that why you were so fearful when we intervened with your proceedings?” Jade asked, looking somewhat amused, “Prefect, we wouldn’t be that cruel.”

“I mean, we could.” Floyd leaned in, teeth sparkling white as the sun shone off them. He could have given a lens flare. “But we like you, so we won’t.”

“We couldn’t be that cruel.” Azul said firmly, “The fate of becoming sea foam is certainly no joke. We wouldn’t dream of it.”

Yuu was a bit flushed in their embarrassment, turning away to mumble something.

“What was that?” Azul hummed

“I said I feel stupid.”

“Sorry, one more time, I couldn’t hear you.” Jade grinned, leaning in closer.

“I Said,” they turned toward the trio, “That now I feel stupid.”

The three just smirked smugly back and Yuu felt like maybe they wished they’d turned to sea foam (not really)

1001 Arabian Nights

The original story of Aladdin and his magic lamp was honestly very different from the Disney film. Beyond some basic plot points (princess in a castle being in love with a street boy, a genie, etc) the story is virtually different. The main apparent thing being that there’s not one, but TWO genies, and the evil schemer is a wizard pretending to be Aladdin’s uncle, not a vizier taking advantage of the king. On the whole, I think Jamil and Kalim would be interested but wholly unimpressed. Oh, also a lot of murder.

Jamil hummed as he looked at the last page, tilting his head to the side as he thought.

“Aladdin doesn’t…seem like a good person.” Kalim said, staring at the book Jamil was holding. “He just…killed someone?”

“Granted, it was to save the princess,” Jamil began, looking to Kalim for only a moment. He gazed back down, “I can understand something like that. However…”

“There’s a lot of…slavery in this story.” Kalim finished, messing with his fingers, “I don’t like that.”

“The Asim Family-“

“I would never want you to do something you don’t want to.” Kalim said solemnly.

Jamil went silent, looking out the window. He tapped his finger against the edge of the book, lost in thought. “I still do, though. There are plenty of things I do for you that I don’t like.”

There was a silence as Yuu looked between them. Kalim looked hurt, and ashamed. Jamil looked…carefully put together. But deeply uncomfortable.

Yuu cautiously reached forward, taking the book from Jamil, who didn’t acknowledge it but did allow them to take it.

“I’m quite interested in this Roc bird that’s mentioned,” Jamil said suddenly, “It is to be the master of all genies?”

“Maybe it commands Azul.” Yuu joked, thinking back to Jamil’s words just before he’d overblotted.

Jamil glowered in return, but this did earn a laugh from Kalim.

The vice housewarden turned to contemplate the coffee table rather deeply, then murmured, “This tale does ring similar to our history, but rather different. It’s…odd. Like they were cut from the same cloth.”

Yuu shrugged, “It’s just a story. Nobody really got hurt.” They assured when Kalim looked momentarily uncomfortable again.

Snow White

The Grimm telling of Snow White is also fairly similar to the Disney telling, with the exception of the Evil Queen being WAY more persistent in the murder thing. She attempts to kill Snow three times. The first by cinching her corset so tight that she passed out, but it was unable to kill her. She tries again by gifting her a poisoned hair comb, which again fails to kill her. The third time, the poisoned apple, is the charm. She bites the apple, goes into a coma, glass coffin blah blah blah. Prince finds her coffin, decides she’s a real babe and takes her and the coffin home with him. On the journey back, one of the prince’s servants trips and knocks the coffin into something, which somehow manages to dislodge the piece of apple in the princess’s throat and bring her back to life. Yay! Then she tries to kill her again, fails, and is punished to dance in red hot slippers until she dies. Yay…?

Vil and Rook sat on opposite sides of the couch. Rook was staring pointedly at the wall while Vil was staring directly at the hunter.

“It’s quite interesting-“

“Not a word out of you.” Vil cut him off, turning his attention to his nails instead.

Yuu sat across from them, snapping the book shut to put it away, “Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.”

“You think?”

Rook looked like he wanted to say something, a finger up as though he were conducting an invisible choir.

“Rook Hunt. Keep your mouth shut, you fucking traitor.”

“You said you wished for me to be true in my heart!” He defended.

Yuu took this as the moment to leave the room, clutching the book close,

“Spudling, where are you going? Come back here.”

Yuu squeaked nervously before coming back to stand in front of him, a sheepish smile on their face, “Hmm?”

Vil looked them up and down, before leaning forward to straighten Yuu’s clothes, “Spudling, is this why you were so nervous when Trappola and Spade ate that apple tart?”

“I honestly kinda thought you killed them.” Yuu admitted with a titter.

Vil’s eyebrows shot up as he glanced to make eye contact with them, “Do you think I’m so cruel?”

“I didn’t know what to think.” They said honestly, hands reaching to stop Vil’s from moving, “All I knew was that Rook calls you the king of poisons, and my friends suddenly collapsed after eating apples. Two and two together lead to poisoning.”

Rook began to laugh loudly, then coughed to cover it and continued to not look at Vil.

Vil frowned, “I would never kill anyone, Spudling-“

“Except Neige.”

“NEIGE KNOWS WHAT HE FUCKING DID-“

Sleeping Beauty

Honestly this one is too graphic for me to explain in detail but let’s just say that the prince is even worse in this one than in the Disney version. Consent isn’t even a question for him he does not care. Also the cure in this version was kind of similar to snow white’s, in which a fragment of the spindle is stuck in Briar Rose’s finger and once it is dislodged she’s freed from the curse. Seriously though, wouldn’t recommend looking this one up to anyone who’s faint of heart. It’s seriously gross.

Malleus and Lilia don’t seem to surprised as you finish the tale. In fact, they don’t even bother to keep talking about it, and it’s totally not because the author of this doesn’t want to get into how absolutely disgusting it is that the 100 year old 16 year old has two kids that she definitely didn’t want, or how fucking gross the prince is to do what he did, it’s because they’re old as fuck and already kinda knew.

Lilia just goes back to setting your kitchen on fire while Malleus decides he’s going to read every other fairy story except this one because this one sucked and his grandma didn’t even turn into a dragon :/

Alice in Wonderland

Strictly speaking, the 1950’s animated film of Alice in Wonderland is not all that different from its inspiration. Most story beats are faithful to the original, with the exception of tweedle dee and tweedle dum, which actually appear in the sequel Alice through the looking glass. It appears that within Twisted Wonderland’s universe, while there is some misinterpretation of the Queen of Hearts herself, the information given in the film is well known based off of the comments given in the ‘chats’ with each character. It is unknown whether the Tim burton films have any bearing on twisted wonderland’s history, though based off of Riddle’s design and character it appears it may have been a source of inspiration at the least. All of this is to say that none of this particular story would be much of a surprise to any of the characters, as for them it’s very grounded in reality. This isn’t to say there wouldn’t be a surprise, though….

Riddle had been quietly sitting on the couch reading a book for about an hour now. It seemed as though he was nearing the end, and he looked both confused and enraptured by it.

“What’s that?” Yuu asked.

Riddle looked up, and with a carefully crafted blank face he held up the book so they could read the cover.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

“Ah,” Yuu said nervously, “Good read?”

Riddle tilted his head, “You never told me there were stories of twisted wonderland in your world.”

“That’s cause it’s not twisted wonderland.” Yuu defended, “That’s just regular wonderland.”

“The difference being?” Riddle asked, tone taking on a biting edge.

“It isn’t twisted?” They tried, shrugging, “I didn’t think it would interest you, honestly. It’s a lot of the same stuff as history class.”

Trey took this EXACT moment to walk into the room. He took one look at Riddle’s twitching eyebrow and realized that, oh shit, time to intervene. “What’s going on here?” He asked tentatively.

“This- ah…” Riddle took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself, “This world has stories of Wonderland. Yuu neglected to mention this, in my opinion, rather imperative information.”

Yuu shrugged, “It’s just a children’s story. What could be so important?”

“Perhaps the fact that someone travels to and from Wonderland?” Riddle bit back, “Or perhaps that if your world has information on ours, then it isn’t fiction?”

Yuu blanched for a moment before calming themself. “Riddle,” they began, frowning, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that. But I have a very…different look on it.”

Riddle raised an eyebrow, urging Yuu to continue. Trey in the midst of this sat down beside Riddle, taking the book from him.

“This was written by someone named Charles Dodgeson, also known as Lewis Carroll. He wrote this for a trio of girls he used to tutor and babysit.” Yuu began, sitting down on the coffee table in front of Riddle and Trey. “He would often take them on canoe rides and tell them stories, making it up as he went along. He favored one particular girl, named Alice Liddell, and favored to write the story about her.”

Riddle looked unimpressed and confused at the same time, “But-“

“Riddle.” Trey said softly, “Let them continue.”

“Dodgeson was eventually fired by the Liddell family due to what was described as a ‘family affair’, the nature of which was never known. After that, for a bit of money he printed the story and sold it, then made wrote a sequel called ‘through the looking glass’.”

Riddle and Trey sat in silence before Riddle piped up, “Through the Looking Glass?”

“Mhmm.” Yuu said, “Alice returns to wonderland after walking through an enchanted looking glass. The rest of the adventure is similar to the first, changing from moment to moment.”

Riddle stared, fists curled in a ball and shaking. “So there’s a way home?”

Yuu looked surprised, “N-no, Riddle, it’s just a stor-“

“IT’S NOT JUST A STORY!” He cried, “It has to be real, you see that don’t you? You got to our world through a mirror, we got stuck here through one too. So there’s got to be another way back! Alice- Alice is real. She had to have gone….” He began to settle down, eyes filling with unshod tears.

Trey looked between Yuu and Riddle, “He’s right. It…would make sense. And…that’s a pen name, isn’t it? How do we know Alice didn’t write that?”

Yuu looked lost, staring down at the sobbing Riddle, who was murmuring various incoherent thoughts all in a long string.

“I’m so, so sorry…” Yuu said quietly, “We…I didn’t….I’m sorry. We can look, okay? I’ll do some research. We’ll get you home…”

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cr-noble-writes · 16 days

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15 questions for 15 friends

I was tagged by the lovely @rotschopf-thedrow @dandenbo @ad-astra13 and @bioticbooty

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Sort of haha. I'm not named after a family member or anything like that, but my dad did name after a figure from Greek mythology and made sure I knew it

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Probably last night while watching 9-1-1 lol

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yeah, I've got two

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? I've never played sports competitively. I used to run recreationally in my 20s, though.

DO YOU USE SARCASM? Meeeee???? Never

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Usually hair and clothes, because those are things that are relatively easily identifiable if I have to describe someone to another person. Then eyes.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR? Brown/green hazel, but when I cry they turn super green

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? If I have to pick one, then happy endings. Both are good though.

ANY TALENTS? Writing, I play a few instruments and sing.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Florida

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? if I actually listed things, it would take forever. Let's just say that I benefit/suffer from an "I'm gay and I can do anything" attitude. I pick up new hobbies constantly, and there are more arts and crafts supplies in my house than I have room for.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Two dogs and several fish

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'7"

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Music Theory

DREAM JOB? I'd like to not have to have a job, actually. It would be nice if I could just dedicate my time to my family and my hobbies without having to worry about money. I have been considering potentially going back to school and becoming an editor.

tagging: @swaps55 @mallaidhsomo @otemporanerys @nickelkeep @bleuzombie @imbiowaresbitch @monowires @briarch and anyone else who wants to do thing because I can't currently remember 15 usernames that haven't been tagged already lol

#tag games #get to know me

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baptaincarnacles · 2 years

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Octonauts Headcanons (Barnacles)

This is for a human AU, by the way!

Cw: Uncensored swearing

Captain Barnacles:

Cis (he/him)

Gay/ace

Autistic

He goes to Inkling whenever he is close to breaking down. The professor never asks him to share anything, and will simply hold his hand and talk to him until he calms down (no matter how long it takes).

He is the father figure to most of the Octonauts (and Octo-Agents), Dashi and Peso being the main two.

Mr. “Hurt? No, I’m fine. Just doing my job!”

Possibly the highest pain tolerance out of the crew and agents, Ranger Marsh coming in as a close second.

Hides most of his stimming.

Professor Natquik has been the only person to see Barnacles fully lose it (whether it had been his temper or simply slipping into a breakdown).

Not the kind of person to share his backstory, he doesn't want anyone to know exactly what kind of life he came from, therefore only sharing some of his more fond memories of the "Polar Scouts” (which is possibly the only fond memories he has of his younger years).

At one point he was highly into theater; continues to practice in his room (performing old Shakespearean plays).

Understands most modern lingo, but loves using it incorrectly to fuck with the rest of the crew. He adores the way they fume when he uses those phrases wrong.

Probably avoids direct eye contact or he just stares. Man does not know what to do with his eyes when talking to somebody (became self-conscious over it after Shellington accidentally pointed it out).

He might have been a pirate (maybe a merchant)- or an outlaw- before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts.

Definitely has a tattoo of a Polar Bear across his back (and probably a couple others).

Literally has no heat tolerence whatsoever (where he grew up in colder regions).

He would probably wear a tank-top in Canadian winters if you gave him the chance (Kwazzi calls him crazy).

Competes in ice swimming competitions (and has won many times, but keeps the trophies in a chest in his room).

Accordion is a comfort item (as well as his compass and Admiral Sweaty Sock)

"Sound the Octo-alert!" is one of, if not his favorite phrase to say- and he grows rather upset if things go out of his control or out of order, and he grows rather lost and has to regain his thoughts (this is like half-canon).

Always zoning out and bumping into things.

He has probably gotten the gups mixed up more than once.

Claustrophobia (fear of tight spaces) and Autophobia (extreme fear of being alone) is some of his worst fears. Though, he probably also has: 1. Temporary Acrophobia (fear of heights). 2. Slight Agoraphobia (fear of open/crowded places). 3. Phasmophobia (fear of ghosts/paranormal). 4. Necrophobia (fear of death).

Was an oddball of his family, having more interest in the world than himself (Bianca was similar but was less reckless).

This is literally so long, so photo break!

Back to your regularly scheduled program:

He will step back and let someone else lead the way, but will always be there to help them if they need it.

Listens to sea-shanties with Kwazzi (and on occasion, Calico Jack).

Book smart, but also has "street" smarts and tricks (due to his days before being Captain of the Octonauts).

Is severely injured a couple of times a year, typically due to selflessness.

Cuddling is his love language, but he hates when people randomly walk up and touch him without asking him first (especially people who like to mess with his hair).

Most definitely broke a couple of bones when he was a kid (his older sister called him reckless, but he didn't mind. He was more dangerous than Kwazzi when he (Barnacles) was younger).

Keeps a picture of the crew on him at all times- even if it's on his compass.

Bianca (his sister) and her children (Ursa and Orson) mean the world to him, and he often finds himself calling her to make sure she's alright with her two little ones running around.

Knows Norse and Greek mythology incredibly well, and adores sitting down with the lights off and reading a book about them underneath the light of a lantern.

Will often recite various sentences of random stories he’s read, especially when he feels it’s appropriate.

Writes in fine cursive, though when ordered to write in print, it's sloppy and hard to read.

When in need, he'll talk to Kwazzi because he thinks the world of his lieutenant and hates to see them concerned for his well-being.

Grows concerned super fast, especially if a member of the crew seems out of character (he picks up the smallest changes in behavior and will often talk with the person [awkwardly]- especially with Shellington and Kwazzi).

Cried because Shellington remembered his birthday.

Internalized homophobia (for a while), but is outwardly supporting to everyone else.

Probably takes online quizzes when he's bored (proudly admits he's Feta Cheese).

Owns various fidget toys, mainly infini-cubes and fidget-spinners.

Doesn't have any form of social media, but finds memes that he knows each member of the crew likes and sends them to the group chat they all have.

Jokingly said “me-me” once (in a super serious tone) and earned the wrath of the crew (except Inkling who didn’t see the problem).

Started an argument about the actual pronunciation and quickly escaped before it became too loud.

Always super serious when duty calls, but when he's not busy, he's occupying himself with casual tasks to keep himself from crying.

Random vocal stims

Sometimes copies humor/accents to talk easier with people (has done a horrible Siberian accent at least once and Natquik threw a snowball at him).

Has no idea how to relate to people/communicate unless he copies whoever he’s talking to.

Has a scar over his eye (which he is blind in) from an encounter with a walrus.

He suffers from intense nightmares and exploding head syndrome.

Hidden scars no one has ever seen (but Peso).

Literally can't do spices and starts sweating the moment Shellington even opens hot sauce.

Tried jalapeños once and he literally couldn’t stop sweating for the next hour.

So, there is a lot here... I’mma just:

Father figure :)

#captain barnacles #octonauts #octonauts headcanons #kwazzi #shellington #dashi #inkling #tweak #vegimals

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lunarspiral1127 · 2 years

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*Thor: Love and Thunder SPOILERS*

Here's part 2 of my thoughts on this movie.

Stormbreaker is sentient in this movie like Mjolnir.....SINCE WHEN?!?! The weapon never showed signs of being sentient in Infinity War nor in Endgame, so why now in Love and Thunder is it sentient here?! I'll tell you why. It was for an unnecessary plot point of having the ax be jealous of the hammer cause Thor wanted to call Mjolnir and Thor has to talk to Stormbreaker to reassure it that the ax isn't getting replaced.....that's why! 🤦‍♀️

Jane being Mighty Thor was actually cool to see. I'm surprised that she can fight in that form cause I didn't think she had experience in combat. Must've been something granted by the hammer.

Speaking of the hammer, apparently Thor put an enchantment on Mjolnir to protect Jane when she needs it...oh okay! Apparently, Thor can do that. Maybe he wasn't aware he can do that, but I don't know.

Oh yeah, how the two broke up. It was a "Dear John" letter....I'm not kidding, Jane wrote a breakup letter to Thor and left. Y'know, I didn't mind learning how the two broke up, but there was a nice deleted scene in Thor: The Dark World with the two and it was more serious and emotional than the scene we got in Love and Thunder. I wish that was where the Thor and Jane broke up cause that came off more amicable than the official breakup.

There's a place called the Shadow Realm which is where Gorr is hiding with the kids he's taken. Now, there is a Shadow Realm in the comics, which contained the Soul Masters and I think Knull and the symbiotes reside there too, but I could be wrong with that. But, in the MCU, it's just a barren planet of infinite darkness. Everything's black and white, no color. Also, every time the Shadow Realm gets mentioned in this movie, I think of Yu-Gi-Oh! 😆

Russel Crowe as Zeus....oof....big oof. I don't know if it's because of the actor or if this is how Zeus is supposed to be portrayed in this movie, but Zeus was just....yeah. Well, they definitely set him off to be a future antagonist. And, he's an @$$hole here, which honestly shouldn't be a surprise cause he's an @$$hole in Greek mythology.....also a grapist (minus the g). His accent....I'm not sure if his accent was supposed to be a Greek accent, but it was something.

Where the hell are the other Greek gods? Where is Hera, Zeus' wife?! Cause I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be okay with her husband having a harem(?) with him during that meeting. Also, are those men and woman gods too or are they mortals? And, why did they let Valkyrie take the lightning bolt?! They just stood there and stared at Valkyrie, and one of the woman got a kiss on the hand. I shouldn't expect much from this movie, but I can't help but ask these questions.

Speaking of the kiss on the hand, that's basically all you get with Valkyrie interacting with another woman. If you're expecting to see more of her bisexuality in this movie, I'm sorry but that's not gonna happen. A kiss on the hand and her talking about her maidens is all you're gonna get. Also, Korg at end gets a husband named Dwayne (get it, cause he's made of rocks....hahaha) so he's gay. I think that's all the LGBTQ+ representation this movie has, or I may have missed some.

And now the elephant in the room, Thor accidentally being stripped by Zeus. Now, I don't mind fanservice, but I'm probably one of the few people that got weirded out from seeing this scene (once Chris Hemsworth's butt was exposed, I immediately looked away). I know there are those that'll love seeing Thor naked, but think about the circumstances that led to that. Thor was forced to be nude in front of a lot of gods and his ex and friends. Sure it was an accident, and later on Thor said that he didn't have a problem with it, but what if he did have a problem with it? What if he wasn't okay with it? It would've been bad if Thor wasn't okay with it if that's the case. I also hope that the actor was okay with filming that scene, btw. Anyway, what if it was Jane or Valkyrie that was forced to be stripped? I know more people would've been vocal if that happened to either female characters. Cause, we live in this double-standard world where it's fine to force male characters in those situations when it's not okay to have that happen to female characters. I personally think no one should be forced in noncon scenarios , whether be male, female, nonbinary, or genderfluid.

Speaking of Jane and Valkyrie, it's really messed up that they thought to wait to help Thor because they wanna ogle at Thor's nude body. Like, I get that Thor's hot, but come on! Again if the genders were swapped, people would be more vocal on why this is messed up.

Korg almost dies....honestly, I would be a bit sad, but I'd move on. It's fine if other people like Korg, I'm just kinda indifferent really.

Zeus didn't die from getting hit by his own lightning bolt. I don't know how he survived that, but he did. Guess it's cause he's a god and him being the God of Lightning wouldn't get killed by his own weapon. Would give a sense of irony though.

When Thor was talking via astral projection or something (courtesy of Axl I think), Valkyrie thought it'd be amusing to tickle his nose with her braid. This was just an unnecessary comedic moment, I think, cause he's trying to talk to the kids and it's a very important task, and Valkyrie's trying to interrupt him cause amusement.

Eternity, in the comics, Eternity was the embodiment of the Seventh Cosmos. Eternity was all that existed along the fabric of time across the entirety of the Multiverse, having been formed to ensure the boundlessness of creation. In Guardians of the Galaxy, it was mentioned that he was one of the four cosmic beings that created the Infinity stones. Here? He's a wishing macguffin. That's his purpose! Come to him? He'll grant you a wish! Well, at least they got his shape right, but that's it. Hell he doesn't even talk.

Speaking of wishes, I'm gonna have to assume that Thanos didn't know about Eternity. Cause if he did, he'd have to get something to summon the bifrost to get to Eternity and have his wish granted to wipe out half the universe. Would've saved a lot of time if he knew. Now, it seems to imply that Thor and Valkyrie heard of Eternity so that got me thinking....why didn't any of them suggest to find Eternity to wish everyone that got dusted away to come back?! Would've saved A LOT of time, time travel wouldn't have been invented, Black Widow and Iron Man wouldn't have died, a massive war wouldn't have broken out, and Captain America wouldn't have gone back to the past! Either those two didn't know, or did know but forgot about it. *sigh*

Anyway, that's it from part 2. Part 3 will be the last part.

#anti marvel #anti marvel cinematic universe #anti mcu #anti thor love and thunder #anti thor 4 #anti love and thunder #mcu critical #mcu criticism #marvel critical

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electrificata · 6 months

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Here is what i have been listening 2 lately yes im avoiding something no i dont listen to a lot of """new""" music

"This corrosion" the sisters of mercy - nothing revolutionary here, its a goth (sorry eldritch) classic with the big stupid jim steinman bombast that i love. If you want a good time search "andrew eldritch interview" on youtube, he's a huge bitch its so funny

"My lady of mercy" the last dinner party - a cute fizzy indie pop song that splits open into huge, triumphant stoner rock choruses. Its my understanding this band has weathered "industry plant" rumors despite being like, not. Anyway if industry plants made shit like this id be ok w the concept

"Kybalion" killah priest - my friend sold this wu tang associate to me by saying a) he's into the occult, b) not sure if he's actually any good, c) hes making animal noises on the new album. "Hermes trismegestis of lyrics that specialize in physics and pyramids" literally what else do i have to tell you

"Blood makes noise" suzanne vega - i love when a singer songwriter chick has one hard track on her album and this one sounds urgent and clanging and ominous im having a great time

"You aint no celebrity" jungle - everybodys losing their shit over "back on 74," and rightfully so, but this is the ass shaker on the album, its like an update on all those 2000s sean paul hits i liked before i heard at too many bar mitzvahs (it actually knicks the buzzing theremin from "get busy," which was always better than "temperature")

"Naked eye" luscious jackson - 90s crunchy touchy feely divine feminine radical vulnerability nonsense

"Come together" primal scream - these guys were kind of narrowly revolutionary in the 90s and i dont hear anybody under 40 talk abt them ever but i loooove the early 90s uk "what if classic rock was dance" shit that was happening with them and i guess kind of madchester?

"Obsession" animotion - this is the loud obnoxious goofy 80s pop hit all the other ones want to be. The boy-girl vocals are really fun BONUS the singers fell in love and are still married, go look up a recent performance of this song theyre so old and so horny for each other i love it

"The big sky" kate bush + "chains of love" erasure - two very different 80s pop classics, but i listen to them the same way, and frequently right after each other. I have a theory of art and fiction i call, for the moment, "mythological awareness." I use this to refer to work that knows what old folkloric/mythological/archetypal symbols and narratives and images it evokes. Work that knows that any love story is every love story, every mad scientist is a wizard and a shaman and a hacker as well. Kate is singing about the things we pay attention to as children and forget as adults, the sky is a marvel its easy to forget about because its there every day, but that doeant mean its any less a marvel. This might be the most straightforward u2-ish rock single bush ever put out, but it feels like shes marching at the head of an army of zeppelins and airplanes and rockets powered by the laughter of gods. Andy bell of erasure is singing about a fictionalized pre-aids era of gay utopia like its something that used to be real and can be real again if we all clap our hands. He details a world of "sisters and brothers" open to the pleasures of the world, fucking and loving and worrying about what theyll do for dinner rather than whether they can get into the hospital to watch their loved ones die. And over an unstoppable synthesizer bounce, falsetto floating over clouds of gospel-inflected backing vocals, you believe him. He could be talking about atlantis or hobbitton or erewhon or the greek age of heroes and he knows that, the halcyon past is a myth none of us can get away from, maybe we need to understand it and use it rather than disavow it. I was born years after both of these songs hit, and my parents didnt listen to either of these artists, so they come to me fresh and bright and veiled in the light obscuring mist of morning, for me and no one else (everyone else)

#sorry for this post

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devoted-to-the-gods · 2 years

Note

for the ask game: 6, 7, 8, 18

Hello, thank you for the ask(s) :>

6. What drew you to Hellenism? What made you choose it over anything else?

When I was a child, I was very into greek mythology. So into it in fact that on my 11th birthday these very kind librarians I volunteered with bought me a book filled with all the Greek myths and pictures, they signed a very sweet birthday note in it. I have tried to find this book everywhere but I haven't seen it in years and I think it was lost in one of the moves I was in. When I started getting into witchcraft, I learned that Hellenism was a religion people follow and it wasn't just the Greek myths. I jumpd right into it because the love I had for the Greek gods was the same as when I was a child. I dedicated an altar space intitally to Persephone. (Also I'm sure me reading Percy Jackson as a child had influence in it too lol)

7. Do you believe in past lives?

Yes I do, mostly because I really like the concept.

8. Do you believe in the Underworld? If so, do you think about it literally or as a concept?

Yes I do, I think about it in a literal sense.

18. Has Christianity/Catholicism affected your practice or your views about your practice at all?

Yes, I tend to sway away from Christianity/Catholicism. We have a trauma holder for religious trauma relating to Catholicism, and still to this day get told that we need to be exorcised because we're gay/trans or because we have DID. I try to keep my practice from reminding me of Christianity/Catholicism for my own healing. Through Hellenism, I am able to experience religion and the beautiful things it offers but with a whole lot less threatening people trying to force me into a box, or force me to be somebody that isn't truly me. I do understand that many people who are Christian or Catholic are very sweet people who don't agree with the hateful followers. I thank those people for their kindness, and apologize that we just have a lot of trauma we're always preparing ourselves for the worse and don't want to be reminded of what caused some of that trauma.

#ask game #obsidian answers #helpol #hellenism #hellenic pagan #hellenic polytheist #tw: religious trauma

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wint-er · 2 years

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Assuming things about you based on your favourite Riordanverse character(s).

NOTE: This is not intended to be offensive, if any of it is genuinely offensive I will remove it.

Percy:

You're a Bisexual who cuffs their jeans.

EDIT: You also are 100% the person who either has to do everything or just everything in a group project.

Annabeth:

You're a Swiftie who cries to way to many songs.

Grover:

OG Fan who was so pissed when he wasn't in HoO

Jason:

You actually like school

Piper:

You're Gay.

Leo:

You really want a group of close friends and you die a bit inside every time you see a group of friends hanging out or when you read a tlh trio fanfic

Frank:

You're either Canadian or want to move to Canada. You also think the lack of fan content for Frank is a criminal offence

Hazel:

You swear all the time but people still think you're really innocent which annoys you.

Reyna:

You're probably aspec or arospec, like the colour purple and need a hug.

Nico:

You're one of those people who liked Greek mythology as a kid and then grew up to discover you were gay.

Thalia:

You're either Non-binary, a Lesbian or a Non-binary Lesbian.

You also kin her to a unhealthy level

Clarisse:

You read tsoa and cried.

Sally:

You're a feminist.

Rachel:

Merida. (Also a feminist and activist)

Calypso:

You're a bitch, or you're a hopeless romantic who is also in love with Leo/Percy

Silena:

Read Clarisse one but you also read the Iliad and other Greek tragedies.

Luke:

You can unfollow me and leave the country now🥰

Will:

Can someone say unresolved childhood trauma. You also just want to hug Nico.

Lester:

You're an older fan whos trying to leech serotonin off content of your favourite childhood series.

Austin:

You like the colour green

Kayla:

Wanted to be Katniss when you were younger.

Meg:

You also need a hug, but you probably also just think she's iconic.

Jo/Emmie:

You want to hug Leo

Chiron:

You're a Draco Malfoy and Dumbledore apologist.

Connor:

You're the younger sibling who is the only one at home and isn't sure what to do with their life.

Travis:

The older sibling who basically became a second parent to all you're siblings.

Magnus:

You're either a guy with long hair, a girl with short hair or a person who can't decide which hairstyle they like the best.

Alex:

You would rather die than break your aesthetic

Samirah:

You kinda wish someone would break you out of physics class but you would also rather die than fail a class.

Mallory:

Mommy issues

Halfborn:

You're a nerd who people always say eats too much food.

TJ:

Either obsessed with Hamilton or video games.

Hearth:

You really like magic as a kid and wanted to go to Hogwarts but then you realised jkr is a transphobe

Blitz:

You really like fashion but were annoyed when you got Aphrodite in the godly parent test.

Alternately for Blitz/Heath:

Mom friend.

Sadie:

Also Bisexual but this time with finger guns.

Carter:

Was obsessed with some kind of mythology as a kid or loved dinosaurs.

Walt:

You had your midlife crisis like 10 years too early and now don't know what to do with you're self. (Also gifted kid burnout-)

Bast:

Cat person.

Felix:

You love background characters and give them more personality than canon would ever dare to.

Jaz:

You believe in Bi!Sadie supremacy.

Zia:

See Felix's one but include rage that they got not personality.

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quillsink · 3 years

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The Highlights of the Amrev & Founding Fathers Fandom

@vive-la-revolution judging the smexiness of their legs

The entire existence of @thomasjeffersonsassworm

The hunger games simulator with all the founding fathers

That post where the declaration of independence was written in a google doc and got an insane amount of notes

Everyone hates Alexander Hamilton. Even if you love him, you hate him. That’s just the way it is.

The ghosts of founding fathers haunting people (Laurens and Jefferson among others)

Photoshopping them into cursed pics @imgaybut get over here

Each founding father has AT LEAST one person who simps for them and the rest of the fandom think they’re crazy (eg @torivikachu simping for Hamilton)

They’re all in hell. All of them. None of them got to heaven.

No one likes Arnold. No one. Andre meanwhile is loved.

Turn: Washington’s Spies is inaccurate and weird as fuck but 99% of us love it and watch it anyways

The Hamilton Musical is the bane of our existence and a good 70% of the fandom would gladly go back in time to make sure the musical was never written

EVERYONE HATES JOHN ADAMS FOR SOME REASON

Half of the founding fathers were chaotic bisexuals no we do not question it

The entirety of 1776 the musical

NATHAN HALE DESERVED BETTER

Lams Fans TM not welcome only lams fans

If you mention turtle and Laurens in the same sentence you can and will be banished from the fandom

Everyone knows who Steuben is. He’s the gay Prussian. Even if you’re not in the fandom you probably know this.

PANTSLESS FLAMING SHOTS PARTTYYYYYYYYYYY

Everyone during amrev calling each other nicknames from Greek mythology or history like fucking nerds (I say, as I spend hours researching the revolution)

That My Immortal lams fic

All the amrev drunk history

Haha James Madison smol

Jefferson and Washington Tol

Hamilton smol

The founding fathers have kinks according to this cursed fandom (you all know what I’m talking about I don’t need to even name who it is)

Nathan Hale’s Hazardous Tales is underrated as fuck

Those AIs of the founding fathers which makes their faces move as they talk and is cursed as fuck

Jedams being enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to sort of friends to I don’t even fucking keep track any more okay

Did I mention the pantsless party well too fucking bad I’m doing it again

Even if you’re a Loyalist you have to admit the British generals were chaos

The entirety of Clinthowe

Making fun of everyone for crushing on Andre even though you probably do it too

LOYALIST OR PATRIOT *readies bayonet*

The name John

The name Thomas

WHY DOES NO ONE DURING THE REVOLUTION HAVE A UNIQUE NAME I SWEAR

Washington being a dad

Lafayette is his son

WASHINGTON’S AIDES BANTER I REPEAT THEIR BANTER

Ben Tallmadge/OC supremacy

So. Many. Redheads. Send help.

#add whatever you like #amrev #founding fathers #ink rambles

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the-edgy-enby-shitposter · 3 years

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Hey I was up all night and then drank caffeine and my ADHD decided that it will use those things to dump a bunch of random-ass Nico di Angelo headcanons onto my blog for yall to see

Autistic Nico. Please he has so many traits just let my boi be autistic Rick you fuckin coward

Extreme adhd. Like how Leo’s supposed to have. It just manifests in smaller and less “disruptive” ways. Like tapping his fingers or legs constantly and that kinda shit yknow

Stims lots. Lots of different ways too. He especially likes flapping his hands when he’s happy but he’s kinda embarrassed to do it around people but it also makes him even more happy to stim and he is conflicted- he also kinda scrunches up his face and rocks his fist from side to side when he’s distressed, yes I’m projecting leave me alone

When given the chance and like. Once he’s asked like 20 times whether the person’s SURE because he doesn’t wanna be annoying. He infodumps LOTS. Like he will infodump about something for like 10 minutes lmao

Lots of hyperfixations and special interests!!! Lots lots lots!!! Yknow when he was like 10 he liked pirates? I hc he got more into just general ocean stuff (like creatures and plants and stuff) and sailing stuff as he got older to the point of a special interest- and then he was fascinated by the way people used the stars to navigate before gps and compasses and etc and that got him into space stuffs. Gods help you if you agree to let him infodump about both, he’ll talk for like 20 minutes straight (gay) about the stars and planets and sea life and how space is just a parallel of the sea because it’s deep and mysterious and rockets and probes are like ships and submarines and he’s just rlly excited plz you Have to let him infodump or he’ll give you sad puppy eyes

Oh yeah when all else fails but he really wants something he just pulls out the puppy eyes card and it works every single fuckin time even for people whom it doesn’t usually work with

Another special interest: different “mythologies”. Not just Greek and Roman (though ofc those too), but lots of different ones. He knows lots of “myths” and creatures and gods and stuff from them

He identifies as a cis guy bUT he Lowkey vibes with they/them pronouns and if someone used xe/xem then he wouldn’t be mad either- so like if asked xyr pronouns they’ll say “he/him” but if like ASKED asked by someone who isn’t afraid of a longish answer he adds “but they/them or xe/xem’s chill too, basically call me what you want and I’m fine lol”

Sensory issues. Lots.

Gets sensory overload super easily, Will buys him noise canceling headphones to help with part of it and xe’s legitimately OVERJOYED when Will gives them to him

He 👏 goes 👏 non 👏 verbal 👏 sometimes 👏

Xe has a phobia of needles (same)

Also sp*ders and butterflies (yea butterflies)

But they’re actually rlly good with animals as long as said animals are not like. Insects lol

Xyr sleep schedule is fucked- he switches between sleeping for days on end but awake for 2 hours and being awake for 5 days in a row but sleeping for 30 collective (not consecutive) minutes

Just randomly dissociates for like a solid few minutes for absolutely no reason and if xe dissociates while talking to you then you better be prepared to wait because you cannot get him out of it

Chronic nosebleeds. The littlest things trigger his nosebleeds and sometimes it just happens randomly

Will swears xe goes out of xyr way to get injuries because every day he has five new bruises or cuts or scrapes but in reality they’re just clumsy as fuck

A rlly picky eater because ✨textures are weird✨

Cannot cook to save his life. He’s disgracing his Italian origins (/j) but he doesn’t rlly care, all he wants is to make boxed mac and cheese without burning something (including himself)

Actually rlly good with patients in the infirmary and he just goes to help Will all the time with things like checking on patients and bandaging/suturing wounds and splinting broken bones and stuff like that he just loves to help

Combat boots. That’s all. Combat boots.

He 100% does awkward finger guns or peace signs all the time lol

His sword is a falcata because ✨dramatic✨ and ✨ominous✨

He lives in fingerless gloves during the winter

Really intolerant to cold- they’ll just come out of his cabin in the winter wearing like four of Will’s hoodies and two beanies and the thickest pair of sweatpants xe can find

He has lots of tiny half-visible freckles from hanging out with Will I do not make the rules

His hair is wavy and thick and poofy and I lomve- also the kid never brushes xyr hair and there’s always tangles in it

Sorry this is so fuckin long adhd said “mmmm yes infodump all your hcs about your child why don’t you”

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androgynousblackbox · 3 years

Note

have you seen the latest RaM episode? I was hoping to see if you had any thoughts about it! I really liked the exploration and the going off the gotdamb rails with the decoys. Also that scene with rick just. dick out and making morty peek at his ass for No actual reason sndhs

Don't forget the fact that his family didn't questioned for a single second that it should be MORTY the one to look into Rick's ass, like there was never anyone else but Morty who should be do it. It was gross, sure, but also such a... "guys would be guys" moment but not in the violent/toxic way but on the silly and unnecesary way, you know? Like Morty called it "punishment" and, sure, nobody wants to be farted into their face, but I can see Rick pulling a similar move on just any friend he feels like pranking to and, on a way, that was kinda wholesome. Okay, so I am going to pour my thoughts about this and the other episode as I usually do here so bear with me: -The fact that Summer IMMEDIATELY picked on what could go wrong about the whole decoy thing, and Rick has to aknowledge that Summer was smarter than this on this regard. This to me is talking again about how Summer IS actually smarter, emotional and socially wise (meaning with interelationships at least), that she could tell that if one Rick thinking he is not a decoy was going to make decoys then of course other Ricks would have the same idea. But Rick never saw this coming because he was only thinking of the decoys as instruments to be used and disposed, even as he was giving them actual personalities and filled their memories with real ones. He never considered they could go on to make their own because, well, they are not This Rick and this Rick is the smartest man in the universe, the guy that unironically think himself to be god, so OBVOUSLY think only HE would be capable of pulling that off. -The fact the immediately after a Rick wins while proclaiming himself "not a man, I am god!" only to be killed by what is essentially JUST A TOY, some little creature that was MEANT to be killed but got pissed when nobody did it. A literal "god" got eliminated for something fucking mundane that didn't even had to do with the main conflict. He doesn't even understand WHY this little dude just killed him, he died with uncertainty, and if that isn't the most human experience ever then I don't know. -With this episode and the first one, I HOPE this season is going to be about desconstructing Rick thinking himself above anything else. I said this before, but I don't trust fans who truly believe Rick is entitled to do anything he wants and be shitty with everyone because he is smart. It seems to be like these two episode literally adressed that kind of attitude by putting Rick on situations where not even he can get out of and revealing he is, in fact, still just a flawed human being. A major criticism that many people have levered against the show is that yes, we know Rick is sad and miserable, but the show still goes out of it's way to keep making him win on anything he wants (most of the time at least) and thus is signaling to the audience the idea that he is always right, that he should be always right, because he has the power to do anything he wants. The very first episode start with Rick about to fucking die with all his regrets ("I am a silly man, a silly old man") and then he is saved BY MORTY. If it wasn't because of Morty being there that would be it, they both would be gone. -The previous season was already descontructing Rick as the patriarch of the house and show how nobody "needs him" on the same way they needed him on the first season. The only character you could argue still gives a fuck about Rick's approval/recognition is Summer, but even then Summer was never submissive and passive like Season One Morty was to Rick, instantly believing anything he said. Plus, we all know that Rick COULD take Summer on all his adventures and she would never complain about it because she doesn't give a fuck about school anyway. But he still insist on taking Morty instead, despite his protests, because he just likes Morty better than Summer and he does not take well with Morty not relying on him. I don't fucking buy the whole "cancelling brain waves" excuse anymore because, come on, there is a million ways in which Rick could circunvent that problem if he wanted to

but he just prefers keep Morty around. -On the first episode Rick literally says "let me deus ex machina out of here". Deus ex machina literally means the hand of god because in ancient greek mythology many plays would have an element of a literal hand coming from the sky to take the characters out of any problem they are in. And it didn't worked! He needed Mr Nimbus to save them. Because he is not fucking god, and the show is finally showing us concrete evidence of this, while Rick is still the only one with this delusion on his head and this delusion is part of his downfall. The whole second episode is nothing else but Rick's ego fucking him in the ass, literally killing him over and over again. -Beth was GREAT rejoicing on Rick's existential crisis and she fucking deserved that moment, I am glad they gave it to her. -The way so many of the decoys decided to react to knowing they were decoys was so amazing. Like yeah, a majority of them decided to be all "oh no, there can only be one", but many other just off themselves because they couldn't handle not being The Original, insisting to the last moment that they MUST be the original because, well, that is what they think, and then other decoys were just ready to accept death because they had accepted there was no other way. -The only wish of Summer to be on the ocean was... so wholesome? Like it made for a beautiful scene in general, but then they dying hand by hand and just happy to be together, Rick apoligizing to Morty because they couldn't make his wish come true, such a good moment. -The fact that all those Ricks made decoys purely out of a sincere desire to protect his family, it's just great. It was still selfish to basically create life with the only purpose of it being destroyed, but it was motivated as another security measure to protect others, not just himself. -The skin wearing Rick on the swamps talking about "a Rick must provide for his family". Ricks CARE about their family so much. -The puppet Smits were so cute, I loved their voices. -THE MUPPET SMITHS. Even if it was nothing but a costume, it was cute and I want them on Pocket Mortys. -This scene is a Call Me By Your Name reference and nobody tells me otherwise:

As I explained on a server: 1. Italian. The movie happens on Italy. 2. Pool. Many crucial scenes include a pool. 3. Age difference. If they just wanted to imply Morty was flirting they could have used just an older teenager, they didn't need a literal hunk that kinda looks like the older character on the movie. 4. THERE IS FUCKING PEACHES ON THE FOREFRONT. If anyone saw Call me by your name, they know they literally fucked a peach at some point and then the love interest EATS IT ANYWAY. And what does it look like the guy Morty is with is eating? PEACHES. 5. Parents are watching and don't give a fuck. 6. I have decided. -Regardless if it's a reference or not, though, is still pretty fucking gay. -I have seen some fans theorizing that the Smith family we see in the end with Space Beth was our own, and at first I thought so too because they are with Space Beth but then I was... wait a minute, ALL Beth decoys knew there was a Space Beth. They went out of their way to show us this by always having Beth being the one who insisted that no decoy had to die, because she knew what was to feel like a copy. When Rick decided to make another family exactly as his own, he also made HIMSELF expendable and interchangeable. We don't need thirty Smith families, the show only needs one and it doesn't matter which one is it as long is one we can recognize. Why couldn't that have been another decoy family that just so happened to want to do a space trip while all the bullshit was happening? I don't think they are ever going to confirm if this was our original Smith family or don't, just like they won't confirm which Beth is the clone, but I personally think it would be fucking hilarious if they were a decoy and Our Rick just died thinking he was a decoy. -Also the way that Space Beth was just casually putting an arm around Morty made me so happy. Considering that Beth is also the mother who prefered to save Summer over Morty when their lives were in danger, I really like the idea that Space Beth sees how much Morty has grown and is proud of him for becoming a badass himself without Rick's help. That is just my headcanon though, but wouldn't be nice to have SOMEONE appreciate Morty? -Finally, but not less important... Rick knew Morty uses a yosemite shirt in order to cum. This man literally knew about the masturbatory habits of his grandson. Rick went as far on his desire to protect his family he used that knowledge for the decoys. He also told Morty to not fuck his double, which is a nice little reference to Morty literally doing that on the comics but also a subtle way to tell us that Morty is definitely Not Straight because, yeah, I am fucking counting selfcest as a form of queerness because regardless of everything else, that is still two identifying male characters fucking. We only need Beth showing attraction to some female character and the entire Smith family would be officially pan/bi.

#rick and morty spoilers #andro is talking

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patton-cake · 3 years

Text

Paint and pictures

Pairings: eventually romantic Logicality, background Remile

AU Summary: Logan has always loved museums. The art, sculptures and just the peace and quiet made Logan fall in love with it's history everytime. What happens if Logan doesn't only fall in love with the art work, but also with the museum's newest visitor?

Chapter summary: Weeks after meeting Patton, he and Logan decide to hang out again! Logan is a gay mess and Patton is adorable. Oh yeay, Remy is there too.

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Chapter 2: Gay thoughts and coffee dates

"-and that's why Persephone was an absolute badass and why I'm completely in love with her."

Logan took a sip from his hot cocoa before laughing at his new friend. Patton had just finished his fifteen minute rant on why, in his opinion, Persephone was one of the best goddesses in the entire Greek mythology and Logan had listened to every single word.

"You should be careful with declaring your love to the queen of the underworld Patton, I'm not sure if Hades would be all too happy about that."

Patton giggled and gosh Logan could just melt on the spot. "Well! I can take him! We'd just have to fight for her hand." Patton raised his fists and tried to look intimidating. He reminded Logan of an angry kitten.

"I don't doubt that you would win that Patton, but isn't that a little unfair to Hades? He would be devastated."

Patton let out a fake sigh and tried to contain his laughter, "You're right, you're right. What a shame, looks like I'll have to find someone else to rule my own kingdom with. If only I knew where to find some willing royal to marry me!"

He couldn't control his laughter anymore and burst out in a giggling fit, which earned him some weird stares from the other visitors in the cafe. Logan had known Patton for a few weeks now, but he was willing to risk everything to hear those giggles everyday.

Wait

These thoughts should stay in 'now isn't the time for touchstarved gay thoughts Logan' because nope this wasn't happening right now.

Okay, back to the cafe. Logan still couldn't believe that Patton wanted to spend more time with him. When he had messaged Logan to ask if he wanted to hang out sometime, Logan had spend hours overthinking every possible response and reason for Patton to ask him.

"Anyways! The project I told you about, you know? The photoshoot thing? That one starts in a few days! So I was wondering when you want to meet up for the shoot!"

Oh right, he was just here for the photoshoot, nothing more..

"Uhm I'm not occupied this week, so you can just message a time and place and I'll be there."

Patton took a last sip from his drink before placing the, now empty, cup on the table. "That's great Lo! So enough about school, I want to get to know you better!"

Yep Logan.exe had turned into a puddle, please restart the device.

"You- really? We- how about 21 questions?" Patton looked at Logan as if he had just offered him the world, or like one puppy. Those were equally as important in Patton's opinion.

"Oh my gosh yes! Okay I'll go first! Most important questions first. What's your opinion on dogs?" Patton almost jumped from excitement and Logan caught him fidgeting with his necklace.

"I'm more of a cat person since I have a cat myself, but dogs are cute I suppose" Logan looked back up from his drink when there fell a silence and caught Patton staring at him with wide eyes.

"You have a cat?? Why didn't you tell me? I need to know everything about them!" Logan let out a soft sigh before grabbing his phone, unlocking it and searching for a picture of the cat.

He found a picture that he took weeks prior, the little creature laying curled up on his bed. "Her name is Minerva, she is a Siberian cat and I believe that she is 7 years old now."

Logan showed Patton the picture and the boy let out an excited squeal. "Oh my gosh she's so precious! You said she's a Siberian right? Does that mean that they are hypoallergenic? Because I'm allergic to cats but I really want to pet her!"

Out of excitement he grabbed Logan's hands and held them between there chests. Logan could sense the gay thoughts folder opening again and tried his best to just focus on something else. That shouldn't be too difficult right? Look around, what else is here besides Patton's hands. Patton's smile? Nope nothing Patton related. Uhm okay cat! His cat. They were talking about his cat!

"Perhaps I could introduce you to Minerva?" That seemed to be the right thing to say, because if Logan had thought that Patton had been excited before this, than he hadn't seen Patton now. Wide eyes and a beaming smile on his face, he looked beautiful

Okay yeay, Logan allowed himself that one thought, simply because he couldn't think of any other words to describe him.

"That would be wonderful Logan! I can't wait." Patton's voice was soft and gentle and if Logan didn't know better, he would almost call it loving.

"Hey Logan? I have to leave now, but we definitely should do this again! And I must meet Minerva sometime soon." Patton stood up and grapped his jacket, before standing up. When he was walking towards the exit, he hesitated and quickly turned around. A soft kiss was placed on Logan's cheek and then Patton was gone.

Wow

Okay so that just happened

Logan walked back to his apartment almost on autopilot, his mind replaying the moment. When he surprisingly arrived safely at his place, he checked his phone and noticed that he had 5 missed calls from his friend.

"Remy? Why on earth did you call me that often?"

It didn't suprise Logan when he heard a load gasp on the other side of the phone.

"I was having an absolute crisis and needed help! But it seems like someone was too busy with his new boytoy. So tell me babes, how was the date?"

Remy laughed when Logan sputtered out a noice of disagreement and continued, "Don't worry hon' I'm just teasing. Anyways, guess who finally got a date this Saturday."

"Probably you."

"Almost Sugar, you and I both!" Remy continued rambling about some psychology major he had met last week, but Logan's head could only focus on one thing. He had a date?

"Remy, you are going to have to explain this one. How and why do I have a date this Saturday?"

Logan sat down on his couch and he could hear a soft purring noice coming closer. His cat carefully sat down on his lap and started licking Logan's hand.

"Well, Emile was a little scared for our date, so I proposed the idea of it just being a friendly hang out, bring some friends, all that stuff! So you're coming with me and Emmy will bring his best babes too."

O gosh social interaction

"So it isnt a date? You almost gave me a heart attack Remy, please don't ever scare me like that again."

He could hear Remy laughing "I'm sorry babe, but anyways, I'll pick you up on Saturday! Byebye"

Before Logan could respond, Remy hang up. He let out a load groan and leaned back into the couch. Minerva meowed softly to get Logan's attention. He chuckled and started petting the little creature. Logan really appreciated Remy as a friend, he truly did, but moments like this made Logan wonder why he had ever agreed to hang out with the boy in the first place.

Just when Logan was about to stand up, he heard his phone bleep again. When he picked it up he saw that he had a message from Patton,

Pathos: Hiya Lo! :D I was wondering if you were free next Sunday? For the photoshoot?

Logos: That would be satisfactory. Shall we meet at the museum?

Pathos: Sounds perfect! :) See you around 2?

Logos: See you there.

He softly petted Minerva and sighed. How was he ever going to survive this weekend?

#logicality #paint and pictures au #museum au #pre romantic logicality #romantic logicality #logan x patton #patton x logan #remy sanders #Remile #logan sanders #patton sanders

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

Note

billie/hope wasn’t a paring I knew I needed but now I NEED this Fic! Super excited for the works you’ve got planned to finish/in the works! :)

fr fr tho bc like. like. hope literally Just got superpowers and a super powerful item to protect and then like. deuces! gl! like??? what?????? girl Train Her. train her and like she's like p meek and like really like you know respectful of the craft and her sacred duty yada yada yada and then paige gets another charge oh hey hope she goes to your school okay well we've already trained one powerful blonde this should be the same right? right? wrong. meet billie. fuckin insane. and it's not even really a rivals to lovers for billie and hope it's just like. like at first you're like hey someone like me! a friend! um and then you talk to them like oh god. and so it's this neutrality this cordiality and from it something like really beautiful grows i also think because you know how hope can call sorrows back into the box and my greek mythology is a little rusty but i'm pretty sure the only reason we have sorrow and hate and grief is because pandora opened the box in the first place so i think hope can kind of become a reverse empath where she can just kind of like suck away negative emotions so instead of that plotline where billie keeps trying to use a spell to erase her memory but it works but it doesn't like??? instead of that we get a small moment where hope takes away billie's pain as just like a kind gesture a beginning of your know something between them which then billie being reckless and impulsive does kind of immediately start to exploit just like she did with the spell and hope's just like 😓 because um. this feels like enabling? this feels bad? so she cuts billie off they have a fall out billie has to acknowledge the root of her fear she goes and like apologizes to hope in the pouring rain classic shit like that hope forgives her they have a moment and billie feels this weight lifted off her chest like hope blossoming nay igniting in her chest that type of feeling and she's a little confused because she's like i thought you said you weren't doing that anymore and hope's like doing what and billie's like taking away my pain and hope's like ??? i didn't,, i didn't do anything and like light switch in billie's brain because oh!! hope didn't need magic to take away billie's hurt because billie just feels better around hope. and then like immediately flush red because oh wait fuck!! i'm in love with her. to the immediate conflict of how the fuck do i deal with that oh god oh shit hope's like do you want to come inside bc you're still standing in the pouring rain and billie's like yes! i mean no. i mean. homework! haha yeah. no. i have a lot of um. homework. and stuff. because you know. you know me! busy lil bee yeah i should probably like you know. do my work for school haha yeah. and hope's like you never do your work for school and billie's like haha yeah that's why there's so much of it lol. gotta run. because i think for all her strengths it's not like billie does not know how to flirt with a girl she just doesn't know how to flirt with a girl who is also her best friend. yikes. cut to i don't know billie being really weird around hope and hope being like okay,,,,? billie like. rooting through the magic school library to find like a. she loves me she loves me not type spell. hope finds her finds her book and is like haha what's this? and billie's like [lie!!] you know like oh i'm just haha it's nothing really i'm just it's like. a spell!! haha because i'm a witch witches cast spells right that's how it works so um. found a spell!! so um. and hope's like a love spell? and billie's like well not a spell that makes love it just like. sees if love's there. and hope's like oh cool. who's it for? and billie's like ethan! ethan in my calc course yeah um. it's for him! just some guy, i don't know if u know him yeah and hope's like well i mean. have you tried just like asking him like without a spell or anything? and billie's like [voice octave higher] yeah yeah i mean i did what are you kidding me of course i did yeah i totally asked him it was just. he was being real cagey. real weird about his answer. so um. spell!!

and hope's like well i mean he's like a college guy they can be weird but i don't think u need to resort to magic i can help u!! so now hope's playing wingwoman and billie's like ohhh. i am lying to much. i need to stop now. if coop's here she practically kicks down his door like help me!!!! we are Definitely doing one of those gay ass scenes where they're both going to a party so hope's doing billie's makeup so she can score this guy she does not give a flying fuck about and like hope's putting lip gloss on billie (gay) and like blots it a lil bit does the classic like looking down at her lips finishing touches then her eyes snap up to billie's and it's supposed to be like a you're all set! u look beautiful but the words get caught in her throat because holy fuck does she looks beautiful and now it's hope's turn to flush bright pink and immediately deflect because wait wait wait wait wait. am i in love with billie?? no. no she's even she's in love w somebody else. so. like. no!! no i'm not. that'd be crazy. lol. i'm not- and then and then like billie you know flounces her hair in the mirror and flashes like this big ol smile and hope and hope is just like oh no. no i am definitely in love w billie.

#i feel like being two college gals we definitely have room for things that are like. gay as shit. being played off as bestie behavior #like the makeup scene obvi stuff like that but even just like. one of them idk being like hella hungover #and the other one like bringing them breakfast n their favorite drink from their favorite cafe or something brushing their hair #y'all know what i'm talking about?#anyway. these bitches gay! good 4 them #billie x hope #billie jenkins #hope needs a last name hope box lmao she needs a last name tho #hope #charmed #charmedisforthegays #uwu #💌

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seducing-a-vampire · 3 years

Text

I felt called to do this today-- and just generally to shout about how in awe I am of the talent in this fandom!

Tagging all those I tagged here, if you feel like it! And anyone else who wants to share the love! xoxoxo

I limited myself to only one-shots posted in the last few months and still got a little out of control. So, here are just a few of the MANY fics that have blessed my AO3 history lately!

call it even by @effing-numpties (T, 846 words)

“And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown” -'tis the damn season, taylor swift

Baz returns home for the holidays and runs into his ex-roommate/almost boyfriend in a pub.

BEST TAG: baz being really dramatic send tweet

MY THOTS: it’s no secret i am a slut for carry on x taylor swift content (and calli keeps gracing us with that!!!), but even apart from that, this is an achingly beautiful fic. The dynamic of seeing each other after years apart and never knowing what could have been is expressed so wonderfully. It’s a hell of an emotional journey in < 1000 words, and I can’t wait for the rest of these evermore fics!!

I have the power of magic and Vine compilations on my side by @vampire-named-gampire (T, 5240 words)

“What’s going on?” I whisper to Penny, who’s gaping at Miss Possibelf, her expression part excited, part horrified. “Listen,” she says, rolling her eyes. (She’s scarily like Baz sometimes. Or Baz is scarily like her.) “That includes memes, Vines, Tik-Toks and whatever else you could think of,” Miss Possibelf says. My mouth falls open as I realize what’s going on. “Are we… are we doing Internet spells?”

BEST TAG: the mage gets owned

MY THOTS: if you somehow missed this gem during COC, please do yourself a favor and RUN to AO3 right now. It’s hilarious and sweet and we truly love to see established relationship moments at Watford! Brought us iconic spells like “Move I’m Gay” which is canon to me now.

left on read by @sncwbaz (G, 1671 words)

Baz stared at the texts long enough that his screen almost turned to black again. He was about to close out of the app when a tiny speech bubble with moving dots appeared at the bottom of the chat. It took him a moment and a held breath to figure out what this meant. Simon was typing.

Baz can't sleep and decides that reading through past text conversations he's had with Simon is a good way to spend the very early ours of the morning. Things get interesting when he suddenly sees that Simon is typing something. At 3am.

BEST TAG: low key angst

MY THOTS: a quietly heartbreaking but also hopeful look at simon + baz’s relationship as they struggle to connect sometime pre-WS. They’re tender and hesitant and awkward, and it’s all beautifully written. read this!

NSFW recs under the cut:

Been In Between by @snowybank (E, 1586 words)

“Ready for another?”

Baz splutters. “Absolutely not. I do have a refractory period, Simon.”

Simon and Baz are soft (and hard) and they test some limits.

BEST TAG: just a fuckin SPRINKLE of praise kink and monsterfucking

MY THOTS: Yall. I don’t even know what to say except if you are a human with a pulse you need to read this fic. Lauren is a fucking ICON at writing smut with so many feelings, and this was an absolute masterpiece. The best part of it is ... kind of a spoiler???? At least it took me by surprise and positively melted my heart. So read it and be melted yourself.

Hot in Here by @otherworldsivelivedin (M, 2599 words)

Simon Snow can’t dance. At least, that’s what I thought. This fic is pure self-indulgence over the fact that 90s/00s R&B is The Best genre to go dancing to 👌 and my all time favourite HC that Simon can't ballroom dance, but that boy got moves and I will die on this hill.

BEST TAG: A love letter to 90s/00s R&B

MY THOTS: i cry when i think about how much I love this fic. Dem spun the most masterful world in a small space, and it’s just so FUN????? it’s HILARIOUS??? and I just love to see these boys enjoying life. truly an instant classic in my mind.

Envy of the Gods by @motherscarf (E, 8526 words, see warnings)

“You are a naiad?” The nymph rolled their eyes. “You are a cow? Or a man. Both?” Their tone was sarcastic. Simon didn’t notice. “I am a man,” Simon frowned. He hadn’t tucked his tail very well- it twitched free as if it wanted to argue with his statement. Simon pretended he didn’t notice. “You don’t… seem like a nymph.” “And what, pray tell, does a nymph seem like?” Sneered the nymph.

Or, Orpheus & Eurydice au, but Simon is a minotaur and Baz is a naiad

BEST TAG: cancel Apollo 2020

MY THOTS: okay, I admittedly was not a Greek Mythology Gay (tm) and i am woefully lacking in said knowledge, but that did absolutely nothing to lessen my enjoyment of this beautiful and heart-wrenching fic. Also, I’ve since been working my way through percy jackson books for the first time (lol) and this fic has been oft on my mind. The prose is immaculate, and the emotions are soft, and just everything is too too lovely and bittersweet!!!! GAH.

Adams Driver is Well Fit by @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire (E, 709 words)

Set Watford 8th year. Simon and Penny watch Star Wars at the cinema. Is Simon really thirsting after Adam Driver - a certified sex god? Or could it be someone else?

BEST TAG: The author isn't into Adam Driver but can sure appreciate good aesthetics

MY THOTS: i am incredibly self-indulgent in reccing this because Di very kindly wrote it for me BUT everyone else should read it too because it is: (1) hilarious, (2) sweet, and (3) truly demonstrates the lengths of simon’s lack of self-awareness. and we love that for him. also in my mind, everyone in CO/WS is a star wars nerd.

#stole 'thots' from lauren #hehehehe #Thirsty Thursday #fic recs #i love all yall

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