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androgynousblackbox · 7 hours

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I love the kind of ship dynamic that is Some Guy x Literal Eldrich God so here it goes my idea: Alastor is a serial killer in love with Lucifer, a Eldrich being of another dimension that can literally make anything happen, but more than anything wants to learn to be a human. They met when Alastor rented an apartment and Lucifer brainwashed the landlord to assume he always lived there, so he never has to pay rent himself and neither Alastor after he finds out about his powers. Or the other way around... Lucifer just came to town and luckily got a cheap apartment where all he has to do is share space with Alastor, a guy who works on a popular podcast from his room/studio, and usually eats people but soften up when Lucifer teaches him the joys of not murdering every person he encounters.

#appleradio #radioapple #duckiedeer #lucifer x alastor #i will probably write this someday

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androgynousblackbox · 9 hours

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How I Met Your Father. 7 [Preview]

How Your Father Met My Mother

On the morning, Alastor found a note of Lucifer explaining he completely forgot that he had a meeting for "royal stuff" that had to attend to and had no idea how long it was going to last. But to please keep watch on Charlie to make sure that she was ready for her meeting. Lucifer also put a bunch of duckies with hearts at the bottom, wishing him a good day.

Alastor sighed as he rubbed his temple. How hell hasn't gone to… well, hell with a king so forgetful was anyone's guess. Truly a miracle that not even Heaven would be able to explain.

He was planning to take him out for a date that afternoon so he could have his mind off Charlie's reunion until everything was over, but if his royal duties were going to demand so much of his time then maybe it was for the better. Lucifer couldn't get worried out of his mind if he was killed by boredom first.

No matter, he still had to go through the day. He left his tentacles fixing the bed as he changed his pajama to his suit, leaving his pocket watch on its pocket as always after seeing what time it was. Charlie should be up and going already.

When he found her on the kitchen, sleepily waiting for her tea to cool down, Alastor teleported through his shadows at her side.

"Good morning, my little fawn!"

Charlie let out a tiny scream, which was funny, right until she almost spilled the hot water on top of herself. Alastor catched her by the shoulders and pulled her away, letting one of his shadows to grab the mug midair.

"Oh, careful, dear! That could have been unpleasant" said, without recognizing that was entirely his own fault. He did wiped the mug with a rag using another shadow before returning it to Charlie, who was pouting at him.

"Morning, dad" Charlie side eyeing him for a second, but then resigned herself, going to the table. "Papa had king stuff today?"

"How did you know?" Alastor moved to the refrigerator and pulled out the rest of the venison he still had, plopping it on a pan to cook. The cooking was merely a courtesy to his daughter.

"Lucky guess" Charlie took a sip of tea.

"He did forgot all about it until this morning, of course. Frankly, that man could lose his own head and then ask around why was he smaller than usual" Alastor chuckled at the funny image, turning up the fire to all it could until the flammes elevated outside of the pan. "He is so fortunate to be the king and I am to not deal with any of that nonsense."

Charlie leaned her chin on her hand, looking at the way Alastor was somehow not causing a house fire. She had seen him on the kitchen many times before, but it was always impressive.

"I wanted to ask you, dad" started after a while" do you… want me to do something in heaven while I am there? Like, maybe… seeing grandma?"

"Oh" Alastor turned the meat on the pan before answering. "Are you sure that won't take away from your meeting, dear?"

"No, no, not at all" quickly reassured Charlie. "I am sure they won't have a problem if me and Vaggie decide to take a look around. Besides, I also just want to meet her. She sounds nice when you two talk about her and I never got a chance to talk to her directly myself."

"That would have been difficult to arrange. It was a nothing but lucky that your father ever had the chance" Alastor smiled to her over his shoulder, the radio filter on his voice dissapearing for a moment. "She would have loved you."

Charlie returned the gesture.

"You really think so?"

"Absolutely" Alastor came back to the meat before it started to char. "I can give you a drawing your father made of her so you know what to look for."

"That would be amazing! I will take such good care of it, I promise" Charlie stand up to kiss his cheek and look for cookies on the counter nearby. "Is there anything in particular you want me to tell her?"

"Mmm" Alastor thought about it for a moment. "Just tell her that me and Lucifer are still together. That after the last time we talked, we decided to do everything we could to have you. A decision we are more than happy with. And I miss her, like always."

"I will" Charlie let out a tiny fawn squeak and hugged his side. "I am so excited now! You know, it has been a while since you told me how papa got in contact with her."

"Another story? So quickly? My little fawn is getting greedy."

"Please" Charlie hang from his shoulder, looking up with the most puppiest eyes that anyone had puppied before. "Pretty please? Pleasies? With… blood and viscera on top?"

"Oh, well, if you offer it like that" Alastor chuckled, delighted that his daughter would know him so well. "Can I eat my breakfast first? Where is your violent partner?"

"Vaggie" Charlie pouted. "She went out with Niffty to buy the groceries and other stuff that we need. You know, she is a really sweet person. If you gave her a chance I am sure you would like her."

"Oh, my dear, our king is the one with the sweet tooth, not me. I will take your word for it though!" Alastor didn't add any more to the statement as he casually continued on preparing the meat until it was ready, taking it to the table to be enjoyed with a fresh cup of coffee one of his tentacles brought. "Sit with me, little fawn. Or else my inspiration could fade away."

"Fine" sighed Charlie, bringing her cookies and the sugar for his tea. "Just think about it, dad. You are all part of my family now."

"And you have been dating how long exactly, my dear?"

"Three years. Why?"

"Mmm, moving a little too fast, aren't you? Your father and I took our time before we came to that point." Surprise arranged marriage not whistanding, of course. It didn't count until they made it count and indeed, it took a respectable while to get there.

"You would say the same thing even if we had dated for ten years" correctly pointed out Charlie.

Alastor was about to take a sip of his coffe, but instead he laughed, covering his mouth with a napkin.

"Ha! Well, keep dating for ten more years and maybe I will consider changing my mind!"

Charlie groaned, giving up for now. Alastor nodded his approval as he continued eating. It wasn't as good as when Lucifer made it for him, so he finished up around the same time that Charlie was done with her tea and cookies. With the abscence of Niffty, Charlie offered to quickly wash everything.

"Don't bother, dear. She will be happier to have something to work with when she comes back" assured Alastor, dumping the used pans and plates on the sink.

"Are you sure? I could at least wash the mug…"

"It's fine, she will love the gesture" Alastor anchored his arm with Charlie's, calling onto his shadows. "Now come with me, fawn. To my studio."

Charlie hold onto him when her vision became pure darkness. The travel lasted only a few seconds, but she was always a little unstable on her feet like just coming out from an elevator. Alastor hold her by the shoulder and patted her back when establized herself.

"This is the first time that you see it yourself, ins't that right, dear?" said Alastor, pointing to his couch for Charlie to take a seat in.

"Somehow it's… exactly what I expected" commented the princess as she looked around.

The decoration of black antlers and mounted heads on the wall of big bucks was something she knew from the old studios Alastor used to have before the hotel. She recognized the plants on the corner and the decorations right outside of the window that made the place feel like straight out of a swamp, just elevated above the water.

It did made her smile when she saw a picture of herself as a baby on Lucifer's arm near the mic on the control panel. Papa looked exhausted, like he haven't slept in days, but his happiness was still sincere for the camera. One of his rubber duckies was also serving as paper weight nearby. Those were the only truly personal pieces she could see.

"Aww, captain Quacker" commented, recognizing the little marine suit. One of those recurring characters that Lucifer kept making in slightly different poses when he just wanted to make something without thinking too hard about it. "Papa gave it to you?"

"So I could sail through the news with no issue" confirmed Alastor, sitting down next to her. "I couldn't refuse him with a pun like that one."

"Where is the drawing of grandma?" She was hoping to see it frammed along with her picture.

"That one I carry with me" Alastor pulled out his wallet. Charlie got closer to him to see more baby pictures tucked on the interior and then a folded piece of paper that he started extending it over his lap.

#radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #lucifer x alastor #hazbin hotel au #arranged marriage au

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androgynousblackbox · 11 hours

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I am going to be honest: if Alastor is not written like a little bit of a cringefail, a silly goose with troll tendencies that get his comeuppance and gets called out by the people he respects, I don't want him. If he is a little pathetic tsundere man, then that hits different.

#hazbin alastor #appleradio #radioapple #duckiedeer #lucifer x alastor #fuck trying to make this man into a super smooth super seducer #this man is a mess and that is how i like him

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androgynousblackbox · 14 hours

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