heartstopper makes me feel so giddy and comfortable, like i’m between soft blankets, drinking hot chocolate and simultaneously so bloody lonely that i wanna sob
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the worst part of love is
that i remember it.
i walk around all day thinking:
i'm going to die in this universe you loved me in.
i get so jealous of euthanized dogs
-june gehringer
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Sometimes it hits me right in the face just how lonely I am. I am so lonely. Do you know how it feels? To exist in a world where you know that nobody knows you closely, not even a little bit? To know that if you died today, nobody would know what your favorite movie was or what your favorite song was or how you like your tea? Do you really know how it feels? To watch your friends spend their weekends together, laughing and going out, while you sit in your room rotting away? To eat dinner alone every lonesome night while you hear the echoes of your family in the dining room? I am isolated, so othered. It is not just that I am lonely. I no longer feel like a person, I feel as though I do not exist. Each day it feels as though I am being erased. I am the only one who can preserve me. I am the only one who can remember my favorite movie and my favorite song and how I like my tea. If I forget those details, they are gone. I exist only within the realm of myself. If I am removed from the equation, I do not exist. Do you understand? Do you really, truly get it?
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i measure time by the days i’ve spent away from you. that thought occurred to me as i watched the sky go dark from blue
-lana del rey, untitled
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Being alone is enjoyable until you become painfully aware of just how alone you truly are.
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When you and your boyfriend finally live your storybook, life----
I'm not ready for protocol- someone help-
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something about Ocean Vuong saying Brooklyn's too cold tonight & all my friends are three years away and all the loneliness that comes with adulthood and remembering strangers who were friends too long ago.
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me: haha i'm not lonely, i'm fine on my own !! i'm an introvert haha :D
the smiths: two lovers entwined pass me by, and heaven knows i'm miserable now
me: oh shit yeah
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