#ptsd

[furiousgoldfish]

Traumatized people are often advised to 'keep it under control' and 'find a way to contain it', and I always felt it was a fault of mine, if I freak out, or panic, or have an anxiety attack, or can't stop shaking or shivering. Now that I no longer have extreme bouts of panic, I'm starting to understand how much fear, panic and pain I contain within myself every day.

If I'm in a place that makes me anxious, I stay still, I do nothing. If I'm panicking, I will modify my behavior to the point where nobody around me will be able to see and realize that I'm panicking, I will seem happy, and pleasing. If I'm experiencing intense rage or frustration, I will shut down and won't respond or interact with anyone until I figure out what is a reasonable and logical thing to do. I am containing everything, constantly. And it's only a part of what I've been containing and keeping under control, I used to contain terror every day. I am used to circumstances where I had to act normal under threat of violence, threat to my life, every single day. I had to walk around like nothing is wrong while I was dissociating so heavily I couldn't tell if the world was even real. I was blaming myself if there was a momentary lapse of control, if the panic I was containing for months leaked out of me a little. The thought of not being able to keep it down terrified me.

I blamed myself for not being able to keep mountains of fear, grief, anger and panic under a guise, which a human being is not supposed to do. Our reactions of fear, panic and rage are there in order to point out that something is deeply wrong, that we're unsafe, that our circumstances need to change and we need safety, now. Keeping that shit contained and controlled is trying to bypass human instincts, fighting against human nature, and I did that, we all did that, because it was the only thing we were ever told to do with it. We'd be punished for anything else, threatened for any other kind of response that isn't containing and keeping it down.

And now when keeping it down is no longer humanely possible, because we did it for so long we wore our entire spirits down, now we get told we need to do more of it? More of pretense that things are fine, more of guilt and shame for not managing to be a closed human container of panic and pain? We were never supposed to keep that much in. Keeping all that inside and learning to control myself taught me to be what I am right now, keeping any inconvenient emotion down only so I could break down in private, or try to keep it down indefinitely, because I don't know any other way to live anymore. Fighting against my own instincts and fawning at others is just who I am now, and it's not who I'm supposed to be. Panic is supposed to be loud and alarming, pain is supposed to be heard, people are supposed to react with offering safety and change of circumstances that led to this. Not telling the scared, pained and panicked people to 'keep it down'.

#cptsd #ptsd #trauma #panic attacks #containing panic #containing anxiety #victim shaming #abusers never get told to keep their violence and abuse under control #only we have to keep our reactions contained

[sophieinwonderland]

Hey Sophie have you seen this post yet? For some reason we find it exceptionally disturbing compared to objectively worse posts going around in the tags

https://www.tumblr.com/lemonsystemmm/750231386311606272/the-future-shouldnt-be-plural?source=share

I hadn't seen it before, but yeah! I suspect the reason you find it disturbing is because it's purposefully designed to be triggering.

There are some posts that make people angry, but this is on a whole other level.

This is propaganda directed at trauma survivors, using images of abuse to trigger trauma responses from and emotionally manipulate abuse survivors into associating the plural movement with abuse they suffered.

It's emotional manipulation all the way down, in the most insidious way possible.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #anti endogenic #anti endo #trauma #ptsd #triggering content #emotional manipulation #emotional abuse

[fanfictilltheend]

PLEASE REBLOG AND VOTE BC i need to know if i should actually write this❤️‍🔥

#fanfiction #ao3 #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller/you #joel miller/reader #violent heart #stepdad joel miller #married joel miller #old man joel miller #ranch #sheep #the last of us part 2 #fluff #poll #ptsd #healing

[brain--rott]

"everybody experiences that" says mother who has the same symptom of the same mental illness

#ethan speaks #get therapy #living like this isnt normal and not everyone experiences this #bpd #paranoia #ocd #ptsd #dissosiation

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

#muted #memory issues #adhd #actually adhd #dissociative amnesia #amnesia #memory loss #dissociative identity disorder #what other things cause memory issues #ptsd #i can't think of anything else #reminder #positivity #neurodivergent #neurodivergent positivity #memory problems #ice speaks #i tried to include as many experiences as i could think of #but out of everything i tagged i only have adhd so i probably missed a lot of stuff #so feel free to add your own experiences! #brought to you by... uh ironically i can't remember what prompted me to write this #something my mom said. i don't remember what it was tho

[hummus-tea]

The Tetris PTSD story is going around again so now I have to update y'all, it's been debunked, pop sci has lied to us again

www.madinamerica.com/2021/10/tetr...

#tetris #trauma #ptsd #debunking

[bl0w-m3]

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s her dads fault.

#daddy issues #bpd #actually bpd #mental health #bpd shit #mental illness #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd problems #bpd mood #bpd meme #ocd #ptsd

[starfishinthedistance]

I talk to many people who say things like "oh I have trauma but I don't have PTSD", but then when I talk to them a little more I realize that they most likely do, they just can't recognize it as such due to how lacking PTSD awareness is, even beyond the whole "it's not just a veteran's disorder" thing.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

PTSD awareness is not just about flashbacks and nightmares.

#ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder #cptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder #complex ptsd #trauma #actually ptsd #actually cptsd #mental illness #mental health #mental health awareness #ptsd awareness #cptsd awareness #neurodivergent #ptsd thoughts #awareness #important #mentally ill #actually mentally ill #psychology

[genderqueerdykes]

disabled trans person need help paying for food, necessities + shipping supplies for shop after being homeless for 6 months

hello, my name is equinox, i am severely disabled autistic trans person dealing with schizophrenia, PTSD, arthritis, hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome, degenerative disc disease and gastroparesis. i am a wheelchair and cane user. i am recovering and stabilizing after being homeless for 6 months; i just spent 2 full months living in a hotel paying $38/night. i have relocated into my apartment that i was waiting 6 months for due to the subsidized housing program taking forever to calculate my earned income

i just paid $307 for my deposit + prorated rent in order to move in, as well as a $20 electric bill and a $35 bill to get internet set up, which is required for my jewelry business. i also had i also currently need a lot of things in order to make my house livable including a bed and food, and being able to get to the pharmacy for my medications. right now i have no food in my home due to having to spend money on uber XLs to and from my motel and storage unit in order to get the few possessions i have like blankets and personal belongings. i lost a lot of my kitchen supplies when transitioning between staying with friends for a while

i have almost no money on me right now. i will be re-stocking my shop with new items later today, but for now I need help being able to afford my living expenses as well as being able to afford to ship my products out to my customers. thank you to everyone who has helped thus far you have kept me safe for 6 months. you can help me here:

cash app: $glitterGraphix pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare@ gmail .com chime: $Equinoxian venmo: $Equinoxian

#nonbinary #trans #transgender #lgbtqia #lgbt #lgbtq #trans man #transmasculine #trans men #lesbian #butch lesbian #gay #gay man #gay men #genderfluid #non binary #enby #genderqueer #trans mutual aid #transgender mutual aid #transmasc #ftm #queer mutual aid #disabled mutual aid #disabled crowdfund #trans crowdfund #disabled #actually disabled #ptsd #schizoaffective disorder

[mentoillnesspolls]

Vote even if you're NT as long as you get sensory overloads!

#poll #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #actually neurodivergent #autism #adhd #autism poll #adhd poll #mentoillnesspoll #over stimulated #ptsd

[nexus-nebulae]

shoutout to people who don't have a "before" the trauma.

shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.

you deserve a good future. i hope it's there for you soon.

#trauma #ptsd #childhood trauma #sorry just. feeling shitty about not having a past anymore #and please i'm so tired please for the love of god don't tag this with self deprecating shit like 'but i dont deserve anything' #you're only feeding into your mental health getting worse and you're using other peoples attempted positivity to do it #its just mean to both you and the op

[gh0stgirl-hotline]

Born to love cursed to be unlovable

#tw bpd vent #tw bpd #bpd #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #tw ptsd #tw trauma #ptsd #love #heartbreak #actually cptsd #actually borderline #boarderline personality disorder

[the-jesus-pill]

You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again. 

Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together. 

If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it. 

Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog. 

You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication. 

Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars. 

You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy. 

It’s not your fault.

#felix speaks #trauma #recovery #deconversion #ex cult #ex religious #ptsd #cptsd #healing #disabled #actually traumatized #spoonies #things i need to remind myself with too #it sucks to have to come to terms with the fact #but youll be so much better off once you stop denying yourself the help you need #also re: buying items meant for the disabled #do it! #you are not taking resources away #if you need it you need it #and the more in demand these items are the better theyll be made in the future

[madpunks]

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

#neurodivergence #mental health #adhd #did #ptsd #mental illness #schizophrenia #ocd #anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #depression #bipolar disorder #bpd #borderline personality disorder #neurodivergent #autism #mental health awareness #dpdr #osdd #dissociative disorders #dissociative #depersonalization derealization #other specified dissociative disorder #memory problems #poor memory #learning disorders #chronic fatigue #neurological disability #neurological disorders #traumatic brain injury

[hel7l7]

I'm fucking exhausted

#vent art #venting #mixed media #ptsd

[flittermousemoth]

Self-aware of my self-destruction, yet unable to stop myself.

#bpd problems #bpd #bpd memes #fearful avoidant #fearful avoidant attachment #avoidant attachment #cluster b problems #ptsd #actually cptsd #actually bpd #self destruction #self aware queen #self sabotage