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dikdikpronouncedxylophone · 7 months

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The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

#amnesia #adhd #memory #memory issues #memory loss #adhd problems #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #amnesiac disorder

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solidwater05 · 5 months

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Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

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caintooth · 4 months

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seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!

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humunanunga · 1 year

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Enough of the trope where memory loss undoes the damage or the corruption or whatever. More content where removing memories just removes the context.

The tragedy of needing to grieve and not knowing what or who you lost or why. The angst of having trauma and being denied the awareness that it's trauma. The suspense of being different somehow and left to wonder how and when. The tension of knowing that something is off and you can't find where it hurts. The Adventure Zone gets it. Kingdom Hearts gets it.

There is an aching inside you and you don't know how it got there.

#i think about xion or the stolen century and need to lay down. i'm so normal about them.#tropes #narrative tropes #memory loss #tragedy #angst #the adventure zone #taz balance #the stolen century #kingdom hearts #xion #writing #musings #hall of fame

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plague-parade · 11 months

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i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

#this has been building up in me for a bit #i was talking to my mom and she brought up a concert we went to and i have zero memory of ever going #huge chunks of my life are just. gone.#every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it #memory loss #memory issues #cognitive issues #cognitive decline #cognitive dysfunction

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sleepy-bebby · 2 years

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#memes #meme #funny memes #neurodivergent memes #top post #memories #executive function #memory loss #the good place #Derek Hofstetler #the good place memes #leap to faith #there are wind chimes where my ding dong should be #the good place Derek

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thebibliosphere · 5 months

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There are a lot of things I'm sad about in my life. You don't get to go through the kind of medical trauma I've been through and come out unscathed on the other side.

But one thing I'm really bitter about is that I can't remember my wedding anymore. The pernicious anemia took it from me and wiped my brain clean. Except it's not clean, not really. I remember it in patches. Like red wine stains on a white rug that have never quite lifted out no matter how hard you try.

I look at the pictures on my bookcase, and they feel like remembering a story someone else has told me. There's a young woman in a white dress wearing my face, and she looks happy. I'm happy for her. But you can see the strain around her eyes, too. The pain she's hiding because no one with authority believes her when she says her body doesn't feel right. That something is Wrong.

They won't believe her for another decade. They won't believe her until it's almost too late, and it's that lateness that will rob her of her memories and turn them into a wavering rainbow suspended in the fine haze of watery sunlight that occasionally surfaces through the blanks.

There's one memory that's real, though. Solid. It's not my vows. It's not my father walking me down the aisle. (Though those are there, just hazy and dream-like). It's our first dance.

It's the lights dimming around the room as the staff cleared the floor, causing the fishbowls full of white roses and LED lights on the tables to wobble like pools of moonlight against dark paneled walls.

It's the band inviting us out onto the floor and us giggling because we know what's coming next, and no one else does. It's the twang of a banjo reverberating around the room through the speakers, followed by the dulcet tones of Kermit the Frog wondering why there are so many songs about rainbows.

It's us waltzing around the enclosed circle of light, singing to each other out of tune and grinning like idiots as everyone around us starts to laugh.

It's everyone joining in on the song because it's the Muppets, and everyone knows the words. It's 100+ people singing the Rainbow Connection, some laughing, some a bit tearful, because it's bringing back memories. Because it's making a new one.

It's looking up at my new husband through the brain fog and all the pain in my body and thinking, "I want to remember this moment forever."

I don't know what entity was out there listening to me at that moment and chose to grant that wish. I don't know why this is the one memory that stuck while everything else in my brain got decimated into scattered, fragmented snapshots. But I'm so, so thankful it is.

Though, I could have done without it randomly coming on my YouTube music out of nowhere to hit me in the emotions like a brick to the back of the head. Jesus Christ.

#chronic health tag #trauma and recovery #memory loss #happy memories #note to self: do not forget

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chroniccoolness · 8 months

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this post is for the people with memory issues

people who's memories are getting worse every day, who's memories are stable but poor, people who can't remember what they did today or yesterday or this week, people who's childhoods are a faded blur. people who have slow greying-out amnesia that seems to just fade in and out of existence, and people who have complete blackouts, and people who have both. people who mourn the happy memories they know they've lost, who fear the bad memories they've lost that still affect them.

people who have "emotional amnesia" that makes it feel like none of their memories are their own, because there's few or no feelings attached. people who can ONLY remember the feelings from certain or even most memories, not actual events. people who's memory issues scare them or make them angry or make them miserable. people who's memory issues get them called childish or difficult or rude. who can't remember the names or faces of those they love. who are constantly forgetting the things that "you'd remember if you really cared". who misplace everything. who remember so little of their lives that they barely know who they are. people who's memory issues come from trauma/dissociation, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, brain fog/chronic fatigue, drug use, alcoholism. people who have no idea what causes their memory issues. people who's memory issues come from something else entirely.

i love you, you're strong, and you deserve support and care for what you're going through. memory issues can be frustrating and upsetting and disabling, and your suffering deserves to be recognized. whether you're soaring through recovery or are only ever going to get worse, you deserve good things in life and to live the fullest you can, regardless of how much you remember.

#adhd #dpdr #osdd #did #memory loss #memory issues #neurodivergent

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chronic-lesbianism · 2 years

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you are not a bad person because of your memory loss. you are not less intelligent because of your memory loss. you are not less caring because of your memory loss.

memory loss isn’t your fault and you don’t deserve to feel ashamed.

#memory loss #chronic illness #spoonie #chronic fatigue #did #osdd #depression #ptsd #disability #disabled

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stevesbipanic · 1 year

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Steve's only 25 when it all catches up to him.

It starts off small, things people wouldn't even be able to tell is an early sign of something wrong. Misplacing keys, forgetting which day he has his shifts, what time he's supposed to get Robin. Robin notices though.

Robin knows Steve always keeps his keys on the hook next to Eddie's by the front door, that's where he always finds them, he's not misplacing the keys, he's forgetting the hook exists.

Robin knows Steve has the same shifts every week, they never change because they line up with Eddie's at the record store nearby. Robin knows Steve isn't forgetting what time he's supposed to pick Robin up, he's forgetting Robin moved away a few months ago after she graduated college.

Robin keeps noticing when the kids start calling her because the little things are becoming big things.

Robin notices when Dustin calls and tells her Steve thought he and Suzie were back together, "Like how crazy is that we broke up two years ago, I don't think I've even mentioned her lately."

Robin notices when Lucas calls and tells her Steve asked when his next game was, "The season ended months ago, he came to the finals."

Robin notices when Max calls and whispers softly, "He asked to take me to the skatepark, Robin, I told him I had to help mum. He's forgotten I'm blind Robin."

Robin wished she'd noticed sooner, maybe years ago when Steve was getting knocked around a lot. She wished she'd screamed in the face of those Russians to take her instead. She wished a lot of things when Eddie called her.

"He's in hospital, Birdie, he collapsed at work."

Robin is back in Chicago for the first time since she graduated. She wished she'd visited sooner.

"Do you think the feds are gonna let me go soon, Robbie? I mean it usually doesn't take this long for them to bring me the NDAs."

Robin hopes Steve doesn't notice her eyes going glossy as she runs her fingers through his hair, "Don't worry Stevie, I'm sure they'll be in soon, Dusty is probs just arguing over something in his."

"At least he isn't having to explain he raised a demodog. Did I ever tell you about that Robbie?"

Robin smiles softly, "Yeah but tell me again, don't want to forget any of it."

Eddie gives Robin the gist of what the doctors said, Eddie didn't understand much, a lot of technical words and shit. Too many concussions, more than they knew about most likely. They say it'll probably get worse with no timeframe of how quickly it'll happen, there might be good days, there will be a lot of bad days.

The first bad day comes a week later. Steve barely remembers Eddie, trapped in a time when Eddie was just the kids DM. Eddie sobs in the corridor in Robin's arms. The next day it's like nothing happened and Steve gets discharged. They tell Steve, this time Eddie is the one to comfort him.

"I don't want to forget you Eds."

"It's okay if you do, sweetheart, I'll still be here."

It's Robins idea to start writing everything down. Eddie, Nancy and the kids all help. Filling journals upon journals of stories and pictures of Steve's life to help on the bad days. Steve has to quit his job, Robin moves back to Chicago, they make it work.

On bad days depending on how far back Steve is Dustin or Robin or Eddie will read through the books with him, filling in the gaps of what he needs. On the worst days, Eddie leaves the pile of journals on the bed with a note and waits downstairs to see if Steve will join him later.

They make it work for a few years. Steve celebrates his 30th birthday with perfect clarity. He writes himself an entry in the journal next to a big group picture with Steve and Eddie's matching rings showing.

That July, over a decade since Starcourt, Steve is in hospital again. He'd collapsed at breakfast. Eddie had thought it was going to be one of their good days, Steve had woken up fine, all his memories in tact if a little fuzzy. He'd made them coffee and giggled at Eddie's singing while he made them eggs and just like that it all came crashing down.

Steve's brain is shutting down. They don't know if he'll make it past Christmas. There's more bad days after that. More days with books left on the bed. Most days Steve doesn't even come downstairs. On the good days, Eddie always calls off work. He'd rather be fired than miss a single second of Steve smiling at him like he does, so full of love.

They have Christmas, the whole family comes, they have to bring every chair from around the house and squish in around the table just to fit but it's perfect. Steve sits between Robin and Eddie, face bright and full of love and life. Everyone gives him the tightest hug as the night closes, all lingering, afraid of letting go.

"I love you, dingus."

"I love you too, Robbie."

Later, upstairs in their room, Steve and Eddie go through all the journals, laughing softly at each little note the kids have left. Steve writes his little journal entry, a tradition of good days, and curls into Eddie's arm whispering soft loving words to each other before falling asleep.

Steve never wakes up.

The funeral happens shortly after, all of the family is still in town. Robin holds Eddie afterwards as they go through the journals together. When they get to the last page, they struggle not to smudge the ink with their tears.

Dear Eds and Robbie,

I don't know how many more good days I'm going to get so I'm leaving this here for you now. I love you both so much, you're equally my soulmates and I want you two to look after each other while I'm gone.

Robs, go travelling with Nancy, ok? Thank you for looking after me all these years but it's time for you to go look after yourself. Go see the world for me, tell me all about it wherever I am when you get back.

Eddie, I'm sorry we didn't get as much time as we hoped, I hope you know that even just a day with you has been worth a lifetime with anyone else. Go follow your dreams, write music, perform, show the world how amazing I know you are. I give you full permission to fall in love with whoever you meet along the way, I don't want either of you guys to be alone.

Thank you for giving me a life worth remembering.

Your Dingus,

Stevie

#omfg i sobbed writing this im sorry #stranger things #steve harrington #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #st4 #steddie #stobin #robin buckely #angst #poor steve #concussions #memory loss #fuck i actually cried so much omfg #ficlet #major character death #tw major character death #tw death

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gallifreyanhotfive · 3 months

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The number of citations.....and the fact that I'm almost a hundred percent sure it's an INCOMPLETE LIST AJSHDHAJDJDKSKDJ

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tangledinink · 9 months

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i’m going f*cking feral for the swanatello au

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swanatello

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hadeantaiga · 7 months

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But no for real on the subject of forgetfulness and how parents and teachers regularly hurt children who are forgetful...

I got detention and in-school suspension for forgetting homework. I was really good at doing projects at the last minute which is a lucky thing because I forgot most of them until the last minute. I also sometimes just stressed about things until the last minute. Sometimes it was a combination of both.

But when doing it at the last minute failed, all I had left was "I forgot". And a lot of the time it was the truth. Even about things I actually cared about more than homework. Sometimes I didn't exactly forget, but I stressed until the last minute was gone. But how to you tell that to someone? They'll just say "well you should've come to me for help". "I forgot" was easier.

And then, once you said "I forgot*, now you had to hear how terrible you were. How you didn't pay attention. How you must not actually care that much, because no one forgets things they care about. How lazy you are for forgetting, because obviously you weren't WORKING, you were slacking off. How disappointed they are that you don't care, or angry, or sad, etc. How you've hurt THEM because you didn't care enough to remember.

How this is entirely your fault, and it's a flaw you could fix by just caring more, paying more attention, and not doing whatever lazy thing you did instead of remember.

#memory loss #adhd #anxiety

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scipunk · 11 days

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Alita Battle Angel (1993)

#alita battle angel #cyberpunk anime #90s anime #scifi anime #cyborg #gunnm #post apocalyptic #cyberpunk #anime #gifs #gifset #garbage #cybernetics #reconstruction #memory loss #anime moments #origin story

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xenodelic · 2 years

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There is so much shame that comes with having amnesia and other memory issues.

As someone that has multiple conditions that cause memory loss (DID, TBI, ADHD, etc) we can't even begin to describe the shame and guilt that is conditioned into people who are """forgetful""".

Having memory issues does not make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you are uncaring, lazy, or immature.

Memory is simply one of the many things that people can struggle with. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. We are conditioned to think otherwise because being "forgetful" makes people less productive to a capitalist society. Society is arranged to make life a living hell for people with memory issues. This is an aspect of structural ableism. People in power do not want people like us to exist because we are less useful to them.

Dont get me wrong - it can absolutely hurt when someone you care about forgets something that's important to you. You're not wrong for feeling upset that someone missed an important date, event, detail, etc. That makes sense and feeling that way is not inherently ableist.

All we ask for is for compassion to be extended to people who struggle with memory. We ask for people to stop assigning moral value to how effective someone's memory is. We desire for social structures to accommodate people of all cognitive functions, not just those who are most productive to a capitalist machine.

And if you are someone with memory issues, know you do not need to be ashamed. We've been conditioned to hold negative beliefs about ourselves and our struggles for somebody else's benefit. Guilt and shame will not resolve our struggles. You are worthy and valuable as you are.

#amnesia #adhd #tbi #traumatic brain injury #did osdd #actuallyplural #memory loss #actuallydid #actuallyadhd

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hopelessromantic5 · 27 days

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Merlin loses his memory.

Well, most of it.

“Merlin, what day of the week is it?”

The dazed look came back over Merlin’s face.

“Haven’t the foggiest.”

Arthur’s stomach plummeted into the Earth.

“Do you remember my name?” The mighty King of Camelot was nowhere to be found when these words were whispered in the depths of the Darkling Wood.

At some point, without his permission, Arthur had grabbed Merlin by the biceps, holding him there, as if he would run away.

The other man scanned Arthur’s face, starting with his jaw, his lips, moving up over the slope of his nose. He reaches the top, a mop of golden blonde hair, but then drops his eyes back down again. Freezing there. Their gazes locked.

Merlin‘s face shifts to an odd expression. One Arthur doesn’t think he’s ever seen, at least not without all the Merlin barriers over top.

This was something pure, yet Arthur still did not have a name for it. This disconcerted him even farther because Arthur knew every look on that beautiful face. A frustrated scowl before it’s fully formed, a quick retort on the tip of his tongue that must be held back due to present company (to which Arthur usually throws him a self-satisfied smirk and a quirked eyebrow, as if daring Merlin to say it anyway).

“No, I don’t know your name.” Merlin whispered softly, warm breaths carrying on the wind in the short space between them, and caressing Arthur’s face like a summer breeze.

The King could hear his own heart cracking, echoing through his rib cage. The first crack of a lake after an unforgiving winter.

Merlin did not allow it to take hold entirely, though.

“But I remember your eyes.” Came the second half of Merlin’s reply.

Arthur Pendragon almost collapsed out of pure affection right then and there.

Merlin would surely be his downfall.

#merthur #merlin #merlin and arthur #arthur pendragon #merthur fic #memory loss #just a clip #from the drafts

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