#no disorder is bad

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Random thoughts:

People who use "narcissistic abuse" always say it's to help their trauma. But all they do is try to demonize their abusers and possibly "harm narcissists." Look how much is about how to harm or hurt narcissists. Hurting someone to make up for your hurt?

I just notice a lot of people that use narcissistic abuse are looking more for revenge or to make their abusers hurt like them which just feels like the opposite of healing. I get it, I've been there, I've felt that too. It can't be helped, but you gotta realize that's not the way to go.

And this isn't whether or not their abusers have NPD, that literally doesn't matter. It feels like the people that use that tag ultimately just try to hurt their abuser or people that remind them of the abuser (which they assume is NPD and I've seen ASPD thrown under the bus as well) as some way to have control.

And I've been there my dude. I've wanted to feel control and make myself big. But the fact is that diagnosing them isn't going to make up for the abuse. Getting revenge, hurting them, doing things to purposefully upset them isn't going to make up for the abuse. Blaming strangers you see as bad cause they have the same disorder you've diagnosed your abuser with isn't going to help.

I've mentioned before, but ADHD and GAD became triggers for me after my abuse with my ex boyfriend. Because he'd use them as excuses when I called him out and lead to how he manipulated me. So much so that I would use the term ADD and hated being diagnosed with GAD a few months after leaving him. But even in my dislike, I never considered that others were bad cause of those disorders. It's like how his name became a trigger for me. I've seen people that look like him, have his name. And part of me did want to project my feelings onto them, but the reality is they're just some innocent person I see. Just because someone has a disorder, a name, or anything that reminds you of your abuser doesnt make them bad.

Hurting narcissists isn't the way to go about it either. Even if your abuser does have NPD, it doesn't mean you should use that against them. The best thing is to always try to get away. Hurting them won't make the hurt inside you less. I don't know why people who use the term "narcissistic abuse" are always so fixated on that or that people with NPD are all bad. Especially since if their abusers did have NPD, it would be somewhat probable they would get it too.

I just find that people who use "narcissistic abuse" are either the people who want to hurt their abusers to make their pain manageable or young folks/people that are just learning they were abused and fall down this toxic rabbit hole of "narcissist bad and abusive."

I'll give a chance to people willing to learn, but there are those that won't be convinced. And if you can't see the harm in using "narcissistic abuse" and how much it harms the mentally ill and those with NPD then uh, just don't bother being near me. Cause no good ever comes from demonizing a group of thousands of people because of your abuse.

Also they insanely dehumanize people with NPD. Like saying they have no soul, feel no emotions, have dead eyes, are not fully human, etc. Which I've been told too cause of my BPD. But people who use those tags are so quick to feel like everyone is their enemy or trying to deny them something. Which i think just shows more how those people need healing and actual help and not to fall further down the rabbit hole of "narcissists are abusive" because if only becomes an echo chamber of that. Even in the tag itself, it harms the victims/survivors and feels like it doesn't have their best interests at heart. So it's literally no good for anyone and harms pretty much everyone.

So there's some random thoughts and things I've noticed in people who use that term. If you believe narcissistic abuse is real or valid, just go. You can try to learn, but if you're not willing to, you can just leave. Cause this place is safe for those with NPD and ASPD and any fucking demonized disorder. And if you think all of em are bad or evil or abusive, you are not welcome here.

Love to everyone with disorders! Unknown, lesser known, lesser researched, more well-known, demonized, well researched disorders, whatever. Personality disorders, dissociative disorders, mood disorders, whatever. You're all welcome here and loved and valid.

Edit: One last thing. I also see them say that "narcissist is separate from narcissistic personality disorder" but then I also see those accounts that post about "narcissistic abuse" put narcissistic personality disorder in the tags 😐 and even if it's not in the tags, it comes up when searching for the disorder. Y'all. Come on.

#npd #narcissistic abuse #narc abuse #narc abuse isn't real #narcissistic abuse isn't real #demonization of npd #demonization of aspd #demonization of personality disorders #stigma #personality disorders #this one is specifically about npd but I see similar sentiments for aspd a lot too and some for bpd #we all fucking deserve better #narcissistic #narcissist #narcissistic personality disorder #npd positivity #no disorder in abusive #no disorder is bad

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[kazzikkiii]

having bpd is actual hell on earth cause no one tries to fucking understand you and they write you off as being difficult and too much and they leave and we’re left with this fucking personality disorder that consumes my entire fucking existence and they act like its THEIR inconvenience that IM ill.

#depressing shit #bpd #bpd thoughts #i love drugs #im literally going insane #im losing it #its getting bad again #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts #bpd vent #fp bpd #actually bpd #bpd problems #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #borderline thoughts

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[icaruspendragon]

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

#trigger warning ed #tw disordered eating #body neutrality i love you !! #the women in my family cannot comprehend that i don’t diet anymore #and that i just eat what i want #and that im okay with the unknown #bc my body tried its hardest to be kind to me #even when i tried my hardest to be unkind to it #and now it’s time to pay it back #throw out your scales!! they’re bad for your mental health!!

[bpdohwhatajoy]

​bro I’ve been abandoned so much it’s not even a fear at this point it’s just expected

#ryan.txt #bpd #borderline personality disorder #and it’s crazy bc my abandonment fear used to be BAD #I’m so desensitized LMAO

[ooppo]

Don't forget us this disability awareness month!

#Bipolar disorder #BAD #bipolar affective disorder #schizophrenia #mental health #actually bipolar #disability month

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

#npd #aspd #bpd #avpd #ocpd #hpd #spd #ppd #dpd #stpd #trauma #abuse mention #ableism #abuse survivor #i'm sorry this is so rambly i'm tired AAAAAA #i wish i was better at articulating my points bc i have so much to say on this😔 #i've felt this for awhile but felt to make this after seeing a particularly bad post that claimed everybody with npd and/or aspd is a- #-monster who can't feel emotions and only gets joy out of abusing others #if you think THAT'S bad i'm leaving out MANY details from the post that i don't want to get into #personality disorder #max speaks

[eggings]

happy disability pride month to anyone who has a disability from a condition that “usually isn’t a disability”. happy disability pride month to people with disabilities that aren’t often understood by able-bodied people. happy disability pride month to people who don’t have any official diagnosis yet. happy disability to people whose “labs look completely fine”. wishing you peace this july.

#first sentence is phrased a little weird but i’m mainly referring to adhd #and the amount that it is not taken seriously even when it majorly affects someone’s life #anyways sorry if i phrased anything bad these are all based on personal experiences #actually adhd #actually autistic #adhd #autism #ocd #pots #heds #fibromyalgia #disability pride month #chronic pain #sleep disorders

[basshole-astard]

this is a friendly little post to say: if you find that doing stretches for wrist/shoulders/back/whatever either 1) don't help or 2) seem to make your pain worse, then please stop doing the stretches. the answer here is not to keep doing them becuase if you push through the pain eventually it'll get better, right?

listen to me. listen. stretches never did anything for me and at age 25 i learned i had hEDS, which meant 1) most stretches would never help me 2) depending on the stretch, could hurt me, so please. if they aren't helping. please do not keep doing them hoping that they will "eventually" help.

look into whether or not you have a hypermobility disorder or EDS or smth, great resource here: www.ehlers-danlos.com

#my wrists do not need to be more flexible them being flexible is the Problem #disability bloggin #i wanna make al onger post about this kind of stuff but keep forgetting #hot tip if you suspect you might have a hypermobility disorder and/or EDS #STOP DOING PUSHUPS IMMEDIATELY. #BAD FOR UR JOINTS.

[mirroringshards]

sorry i argue alot i tried to communicate but nobody listened to me unless i was being scary or harming them and now i have no other means of communication

#before i was the bad guy nobody took me seriously #actually borderline #actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd #bpd problems #bpd fp #bpd safe #bpd splitting #bpd shit #bpd stuff #bpd meme #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #bpd life #bpd mood #bpd tag #bpd things #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #borderline problems #borderline culture is #borderline pd #borderline blog #borderline thoughts #npd vent #npd #actually npd #npd culture is

[lazylittledragon]

i hate you fad diets i hate you skinny teas i hate you detoxes i hate you meal replacements i hate you ‘carb-free’ i hate you fasting i hate you body checks i hate you stupid fucking internet repackaging the habits that ruined my life over and over and over again

#ramble #tw ed #if i see another ad for an overpriced meal replacement powder/drink subscription box i will break a window #the amount of shit i see that’s just eating disorders with extra steps makes me insane #there are no bad foods you moron just eat the bread you’re going to die one day #ok to reblog i’m just Heated

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[will-pilled]

#“Disabled allies” when people with disabilities actually suffer and it's not just some kind of romanticized version with watered down #symptoms they see on TikTok and people with “bad” mental illness and disabilities more often than not actually need support and care #It's anti ableism until it's not convenient for them. #Leftist #Leftism #Bpd #Borderline #borderline personality disorder #schizophrenia #schizo spectrum #Actually autistic #Bipolar #Bipolar disorder #antisocial personality disorder #Narc abuse #Narc abuse isn't real #NPD #narcissistic personality disorder #Personality disorders #Mood disorders

[bpdiruma]

those without borderline personality disorder love to talk about how those with the disorder are "abusive" and "dangerous", but literally a majority of the time we act out because a boundary was crossed. people step all over us and we are the bad ones when we suddenly react and act out when we aren't listened to. ok

#there are a small amount of bad apples but you get the point #most of us just act out against mistreatment #actually borderline #borderline personality disorder #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd stuff #bpd #bpd shit #borderline pd #borderline problems #borderline things

[solitaryschizoid]

Why is it so hard for neurotypicals to understand that it's not safe to be formally diagnosed with a personality disorder when they literally paint us as abusers and evil monsters at every possible chance they get?

#not putting my life in danger cuz you think a psychiatrist is correct 100% of the time and never ableist or biased #if i got diagnosed it would be used against me by the government if i were ever in a bad situation & it would automatically become my fault #because of stigma and how yall think we are all evil #now we cant be honest because you mfs cant quit your ableism #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #npd safe #actually narcissistic #npd #narc abuse isn't real #npd abuse isnt real