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#trigger warning ed
23rdbd · 20 minutes ago
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(New to this community)
Guys, just looking for some advice. I need to go hang out with my friends for two days back to back and I’m super stressed about it. When I’m with them, I’m gonna have to eat :/ Should I just exercise before and after meeting? I feel like it’s gonna set me back and make me gain. I’m feeling super anxious about this :/
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aspiring-corpse · 2 hours ago
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Today I was gonna weight myself but I forgot and already started eating🤦‍♀️ I only ate a spoonful of oatmeal so I guess it's not a big difference. I stepped on the scale anyway. I'm lighter than cw from last week, hell I reached my lw again :DD
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kynarp · 3 hours ago
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What do you think you're doing?! Don't you dare go anywhere near that food! Don't touch it, don't even think about eating it. What do you want to do, become a FAT cow?! If you eat, you are failing me and letting me down. If you eat, it shows what little self-control you have. That pain in your stomach right now, thats me, and thats your fat melting away. When you feel empty, it means you are empty of your sins. Summer is coming soon. You want to be able to walk around at the beach in small clothing don't you? You want to be able to walk around in a bikini with your flat, firm little stomach and your toned little thighs. You want to be able to run your hand over your stomach and feel your ribs. You want to go to the mall and see that skimpy outfit and know you would look damn good in it. You made a commitment to me. I am your like and obsession. Don't break what we have. I will give you everything you want, but you must stay away from food. Go and have some water! Go drink tea or coffee, or better yet go to the gym, FATTIE! Don't defy me. You know that if you go eat right now, you will end up on your knees puking it all up until you see blood and water and your stomach is aching. You will regret eating as soon as those calories slip down into your body to add that extra fat in roll on your stomach. You are going to have cellulite. You are going to looke like the typical FAT soccer mom. I can give you so much more than that. I can give you what you truly desire. I can give you an amazing, desirable body. Show me your control and I will show you a flat stomach. Show me that you love me and that you can keep me a secret and stay away from food. If you eat now you will throw away what you are working for, I will hate you! And you know that you will also hate yourself. You have a meal plan, you have goals and dreams. Don't throw that all away, no! Don't give up on what you want at the most, for what you want at the moment. DON'T EAT FATTIE! Don't fail me. Don’t eat.
- A Note from Ana
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kynarp · 3 hours ago
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Suck in that fat stomach, dammit! Gosh, you are such a fat cow!!!! When mealtimes come around I tell you what to do. I make a plate of lettuce seem like a feast fit for a king. Push the food around. Make it look like you've eaten something. No piece of anything…if you eat, all the control will be broken…do you want that?? To revert back to the fat COW you once were?? I force you to stare at magazine models. Those perfect-skinned, white-teethed, waifish models of perfection staring out at you from those glossy pages. I make you realize that you could never be them. You will always be fat and never will you be as beautiful as they are.
- Meanspo from Ana
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kynarp · 3 hours ago
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Your friends do not understand you. They are not truthful. In the past, when the insecurity has quietly gnawed away at your mind, and you asked them, "Do I look . . . fat?" and they answered "Oh no, of course not," you knew they were lying! Only I tell the truth. Your parents, let's not even go there! You know that they love you, and care for you, but part of that is just that they are your parents and are obligated to do so. I shall tell you a secret now: Deep down inside themselves, they are disappointed with you. Their daughter, the one with so much potential, has turned into a fat, lazy, and undeserving girl.
- The Truth from Ana
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bleedingheartpoetry · 6 hours ago
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i don’t think they realize how much of my “recovery” is just wanting to please them. i only eat when they are looking and no longer feel bad about lying to cover for missed meals. i hate myself every time they make me binge and silently plead for the day no one is looking at me anymore
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mo1284 · 10 hours ago
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6.12.21
ED Trigger Warning
Day 13
5′7
SW:158
CW:144
GW1:140
GW2:120
UGW:110
Food Log
Breakfast: Skipped
Lunch
1 Cup Watermelon- 50Kcals 
1 Cup Honeydew- 70Kcals
Lots of baby carrots- 200ishKcals
Dinner
Apple- 120Kcals
1 can olives- 200Kcals
Total- 650ishKcals
Felt really slugish, and slept most of the day. Ate more then I wanted as well, but pretty happy to have went down two pounds yesterday. Only 4 pounds til I reach my first goal weight. Got my new shein bathing suit today, and probably won’t dare wear it in public til I reach 130.
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alittlefreefromthatshit · 10 hours ago
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I wish people could understand how incredibly awful it is to live with an eating disorder. Like literally no one one choose to have one. It’s miserable waking up every single day and hating your body with such burning passion that you choose to starve yourself. It’s painful, you’re irritable, you completely lose yourself. My eating disorder takes away my personality and makes me a shell of a human, constantly concerned with calories, weight, how my clothes feel on my body, constant anxiety and overwhelm, like it’s just not desirable. It’s barely livable. It is unbearable simply existing in a world that revolves around eating being such a normal thing that you need to function and fuel your body with. I’ve struggled like this for so long and have missed so many memories and opportunities. Being preoccupied with literally killing myself is exhausting and not a life anyone should ever glamorize.
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kynarp · 16 hours ago
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She looked at the food in front of her with disgust.
“Too fat,” she whispered.
She walked over to the garbage and threw it all out.
- M.
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kynarp · 18 hours ago
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I can’t eat
because I look fat today,
because I look fat everyday,
because I am fat.
- M.
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yorumeow · 19 hours ago
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Another reason I want to be skinnier
I can cover myself in all the bandages and scars id want on my thin limbs and I can be the weak and petite girl, like broken porcelain, instead of the disgusting ugly attention whore I am.
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zemh3r11 · 23 hours ago
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my cousin told me i gained a lil weight ight that's my 13th reason
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gr1mv01c3 · a day ago
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fuckfuck im so fat im so fat i sghould start starving myself again so i wont be such a fat, ugly motherfucker who is so disgusting. if i can see my bones through my skin or easily wrap my hand around my wrist ill be better<3
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kynarp · a day ago
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Hello [y/n]. Don’t you dare eat that. If you eat that you’ll get fat, do you want to get fat? Do you want to be a failure? Do you want to be bigger than everyone else? Do you want everyone laughing behind your back? Thought not. So don’t pick up that spoon. Don’t pick up that fork. Don’t put that horrible, disgusting food in your mouth. Don’t even breathe it. Don’t even smell it. Don’t even look at it or the calories will absorb into your skin. Don’t drink any calories. All you can drink is water. You can’t eat anything. You can have a limit of 100 calories a day, and that is only from fruits and vegetables. No dairies allowed. No meat is allowed. No carbohydrates are allowed. No fat is allowed. Nothing is allowed. Do you want to loose that horrible weight? Do you want to get rid of that stubborn, ugly stomach fat? Then listen to me and listen carefully. Don’t eat.
- A Note from Ana
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kynarp · a day ago
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I have it under control.
- Ellen, To the Bone
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kynarp · a day ago
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All you have to do is say “No.”
“No thanks, I’m not hungry.”
“No, I’ll eat later.”
“No.”
Think about how many people will compliment your weight loss.
Smaller clothing sizes,
feeling small, dainty, and fragile….
you can do it.
say “No.”
- cashewmilk25
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aspiring-corpse · a day ago
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My friends are skinny. And they were joking about looking anorexic. Then they were like who else looks anorexic haha, I'm soo anorexic, he looks totally anorexic, etc etc.
Honestly I felt like punching them in the face, I almost cried and felt pathetic cause I'm here actually starving myself but not "looking anorexic".
Also please stop using anorexia for describing a body type. You're skinny, thin, small, slim, lean, bony, slender, lanky... there are so many ways you can describe your thin body as, without using psychological terms incorrectly. Anorexia isn't a body type, it's a mental illness.
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