#bc my body tried its hardest to be kind to me

[icaruspendragon]

something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.

“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.

“i don’t.” i simply respond.

“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.

“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.

“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.

“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.

“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.

“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”

“we don’t understand.” they say.

“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”

“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.

“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”

they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.

#trigger warning ed #tw disordered eating #body neutrality i love you !! #the women in my family cannot comprehend that i don’t diet anymore #and that i just eat what i want #and that im okay with the unknown #bc my body tried its hardest to be kind to me #even when i tried my hardest to be unkind to it #and now it’s time to pay it back #throw out your scales!! they’re bad for your mental health!!

[iiscpr]

more bullshit

#this is such a good way to spend my time Im so fucking busyyyy #this also actually made me realise that its the second time ive drawn denmark as patrick/christian bale and its like. well its true but im #insane also #ive been wanting to do the fernanfloo meme for 50 years though because that most litearlly is already his outfit #but well anyways i got to give him a spiffy alternative fancy outfit that im kind of obsessed with #it may be that he doesnt have his stupid headband for 5 minutes or the bullet wound swagger but well i like him #litearlly no body is going to understand the context of the first meme until like. 6 volumes of my comic come out im crazy #well whatever. its for me ok. #i should have been working on my berserk drawing but instead. #my ranting #do you guys understand how long it took me to find the christian bale image without the goth bugs bunny i wanted to kill myself #then all i had to do was google ''christian bale so cunty'' and the second image on google was the fucking post...like goddd #''why is denmark in heaven'' well because the inbetween is all clouds so the backgrounds always are white please pleaspelaplseplease #i know i backed myself into a cornerrr thereee but pleaseee #Pleaseee #with that logic he should also be wearing completely white clothes unless theyre his normal outfit but i figured that would look Really Wei #Weird so i didnt do it #im aware no one cares and im inflicting these rules upon myself ok well the illness #...which is why i also tried to fit kyles binder beneath the dress which he would never wear bc of the dysphoria but i figured ok well. idk #the binder was built into the dress or something idk idk dont think about it too hard #''dont think about it too hard'' is the hardest thing 4 me. well i will think about it soo hard unfrotuantely #its 5 am #my art #kyle batillo #denmark newman #kar #it feels really weird to draw the 2 of them without ilya there. its like going to a hotel without the cuck chair. #like wheres my beautiful third wheel scowling in the background #cady will you tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back OK SORRY i should rewatch meangirls. for the millionth time #sad you cant see his giant gauges bc hair is covering but just remmeber theyre there k drew them.....

[lovelybunn]

south park post covid main 4 w/ you in a revealing bikini ! 🍹˚ ༘

warning(s): uses of prns she/her, fem!reader, lowkey a crack post, swearing, suggestive themes

author's note: i'm pretty late to the party (and this was just stuck in my drafts) so i decided to post it now, hope you enjoy!

stan marsh

his swimming trunks don't ever fit him, either they're squeezing his balls off or they're so loose that he will almost flash some poor innocent family

"alcohol-free" by twice but with the alcohol

i mean, stan's like wasted on like five margaritas before he sees you, and when he does... oh, HOOCHIE MAMA!!

ok but fr, the moment this pot belly man sees you in that cute ass swimsuit, he is ALL OVER you.

he's gon grab you from behind and give you all kinds of sloppy neck kisses

"you're so sexy baby. i love you~"

did i forget to add that's he's an ass man?

"🎶 take that, rewind it back, usher got the voice to make your booty go– SMACK!"

ㅤ

kyle broflovski

leanly built kyle broflovski me thinks...

the only one who actually reacted like a normal grown individual out of the four of them 😐

if you have any body dysmorphia, this man will make sure you love your body just as much as he does.

don't get me wrong, he did show you off, but that was more of him making a declaration of "that's all mine, and you wish she was yours."

his hands most definitely will be glued to your hips/waist (his favorite part of your body)

anytime someone would look at you in a flirtatious way/quite literally flirt with you, he would instantly give that signature "i'm tired of your shit.™" kyle broflovski look.

forehead kisses and CONSTANT compliments

trust me, he loves the way that fabric hugs all your yummy curves 😋

ㅤ

eric cartman

this cutie patootie was shocked to see you in that. (calling cartman of all ppl that makes me want to vomit)

he tried his so very hardest to cover you up, with towels, a cover-up, his own swim-shirt, but you took it all off bc ofc you did.

istg he almost cussed a mf out for cat-calling you, he was fighting the urge to keep the true eric theodore cartman deep inside

he would hold your hand the whole time like if he let go you would vanish out of thin air lmao XD

weird headcanon, but i think eric loves seeing your hair down and wet, like all that water dripping down your body really turns him on

sunbathing is his fav past-time when going to the beach/pool

LIKE IF Y'ALL ARE TANNING TOGETHER, LAY ON HIS BIG OL TUMMY, IT'S WORTH IT ISTG, ITS LIKE A PILLOW

also cartman can't swim for shit so he stays in the shallowest part of the water at ALL TIMES. (come on, you don't wanna see his old ass drown, do you?)

ㅤ

kenny mccormick

kenny man bun, kenny man bun, KENNY MAN BUN (but fr, he doesn't like getting his hair wet so he puts it up every time y'all go to the beach/pool)

you just had to pick out a bikini that would show the most amount of cleavage, didn't you?

my man's eyes must've POPPED out of their damn sockets like a cartoon character when he saw that shit

"ah that's hot, that's hot."

every chance this dude gets he's gon come up to you like "madam, your breasts look awfully heavy, shall i hold them for you?"

but enough about kenny's obsession with boobs, i honestly feel like he'd be all kinds of lovey-dovey the whole time

hugging you, kissing you, feeling you all over,I'm pretty sure you'll have to literally bitch-slap kenny cuz this man will be attached to your hip like a tumor

also, you know that hawaiian shirt he always wears (that probably hasn't been washed in 6 months)? yeah, that thing will stay on his body the whole time unless he's in the water. but it's unbuttoned ofc, he isn't trying to die of heat stroke bruv 😕

#south park #south park post covid #south park headcanons #south park x reader #stan marsh #stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski #kyle broflovski x reader #eric cartman #eric cartman x reader #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #crack post #crack fic #honestly idk wtf im doing #lmao #please ignore this

[beenbaanbuun]

Hey bunny! I'm back at it with my brainrot XD this time the trope is brother's best friend but the subject is still Kang Yeosang cuz I'm obsessed with him and the anti delulu meds didn't work 😮‍💨🫠🫠

I think this is the result of reading too many teacher/personal tutor yuyu fics + seeing posts about how our slow boy is actually hella smart, but can you imagine bratty MC and brother's best friend Yeosang (the brother in question being San or Yunho) who's known all over campus and your neighbourhood as being this sweet lil angel boy.... but who has been an absolute MENACE to you since you were kids?

Not in a harsh way cuz I don't think our boy is capable of that, but he's so indifferent and blunt? Barely pays you any mind at all and when he does it's this clipped, measured politeness?? Which is so unfair because he's beautiful and you've had a crush on him since forever???

Honestly it's more your fault than his that you're always so angry at him, but it makes you snappish and bratty just to try and push his buttons, but he never seems phased, always responds in a cool levelheaded way that's kinda hot and makes you even MORE pissed

So when you're failing math and your oh so wonderful brother decides to volunteer his only number literate friend as a tutor? And for some reason that friend says yes??

I can't finish these thoughts cuz I have a dinner to get to but yeah! Hope you have a good day bunny! Thank you so much for blessing us with all the incredible content that you do, make sure to get some rest and stay hydrated while you're at it <33

~Lyra

no bc i love this so much!!! just reader being bratty and then yeosang being all nonchalant about it AHDKSGDJSV ITS SO GOOD!!!!

but i feel like yeosang would be patient to a degree. like sure, he’s chill and cool about it usually but if you push his buttons too far he just snaps and you don’t expect it at all.

“can you focus?” he grumbles as he tried to find the relevant page in the text book. you’ve been watching the way his hands move over the pages for the best part of 5 minutes now, not taking in a single word he has to say. sure you’ve been listening, kind of, but that’s just so you can hear his deep voice in your ear - no other reason, “i’m not here for fun, y’know…”

you can’t help but scoff because of course not. why would he be here for fun? honestly, you have a hard time working out why he’s here at all, especially when he’s not getting paid for it.

“well, it’s not like you ever focus on what i have to say,” you spit back at him as you put your pen down defiantly. he doesn’t say anything or even acknowledge it, which only serves to drive your frustration up even higher. it’s not like you need a tutor anyway. sure, you’re failing, but you don’t see why that means yeosang had to be called in to help.

“maybe say something worth listening to,” he says, voice as calm as always, “now pick up your pen and work through these logarithmic functions for me.”

years ago you probably would’ve jumped at the thought of doing anything ‘for him’. what with his stupidly pretty face attached to that stupidly muscular body, and his irresistibly deep voice that only seems to come out with irritatingly quick quips. he was the only man to exist in your eyes, and perhaps he still would be if he weren’t so annoying. always so polite with you like you couldn’t see him being so free with other people. never responding to your jokes or rising to your teasing. it’s like he wants nothing to do with you, and you hate it.

in fact, you hate a lot of things, like the fact that you love a man who clearly wants nothing to do with you, or the fact that everything he does regarding you pisses you off. you hate that you can’t seem to shed your feelings of affection and lust towards him despite his apparent distaste of you.

but more than anything, you hate the fact that he’s tutoring you, and for some reason he’s doing it for free.

you sigh and try your hardest to brush away your annoyance. if he’s going to be here, you may as well make him pay, right? maybe if you push his buttons enough he’ll decide he doesn’t want to come back.

“i don’t want to,” you push your pen further onto the page with a shit-eating grin, “so you’re going to have to make me.”

you watch him as he mumbles something under his breath, eyes rolling into his skull in annoyance, and you can’t deny that it feels good to finally get a rise out of him.

“i’ll tell yunho you’re not being cooperative,” he threatens. you shrug your shoulders.

“and what’s he going to do?” you reply, “find me a different tutor? i doubt it,” you smirk and lean in close, “you’re the only one willing to do this for free.”

at this, he closes his eyes and puts his own pen down. you almost cry out in victory when he rubs at his face in frustration, a small groan leaving his lips when he pulls them away again.

“believe me, sangie,” you say in the most sickly sweet tone you can muster, “nothing you can do is going to make me cooperate.”

he turns his head in one shaky motion, and he looks at you properly for the first time since entering your house. he’s pretty as always, but you can hardly take the time to study him when he’s looking at your like he’s a predator about to pounce. his eyes are icy cold as he runs them up and down your body. his jaw is clenched as his gaze finally settles on your face, and you have to admit that the quiet boy has suddenly got very intimidating. you shrink back into your seat.

“fine then,” he says through gritted teeth, “either you do this, or i’ll have to find some other way to teach you a lesson.” now it’s his turn to lean in close. his elbows find purchase on his knees as he lowers his face to yours. you can feel the way his breath brushes against your exposed collarbones, and you hope to anything out there that he doesn’t see the way it sends a shiver down your spine, “don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me, little girl. i’ve seen you staring at my hands. i know you’ve been daydreaming about me, hm?”

in the blink of an eye, he traps you. with one hand on one of your chair’s arm rests, he spins it until you’re facing him fully. his own rolls forwards until his thigh’s sit either side of yours. you blink at him, all wide eyed and confused. he just smirks at you.

“i’ve seen what you’ve been doing all these years,” a hand drops to your thigh, rubbing gently up and down against the skin that your short skirt - that you’d worn for no reason… no reason at all - had left exposed, “teasing me, trying to get me to drop my act and finally do what we’ve both been craving for so long. i’ve always kept to my lane for the sake of yunho, but i don’t think i can anymore.”

you whimper when he moves his face in close to yours, lips barely brushing up against yours. he smiles, nipping at your bottom lip gently.

“not when you so clearly need to be taught a lesson…”

#ateez x reader #ateez hard hours #ateez smut #ateez hard thoughts #yeosang hard thoughts #yeosang hard hours #yeosang smut #yeosang x reader

[bandofchimeras]

PDA stuff & long diary life update for those who care!

started sort of arguing with a popular neurodivergency Twitter person (not really, but got defensive) over the idea of PDA being a myth or a grab bag for those of us with severe burnout, etc. I'm open to not being CORRECT on this, but personally I've found both good and bad things in the diagnosis, the label, and community self-understanding, as with any diagnosis....its all based on a pretty flawed and pathologizing system. so why attack PDA in particular?

anyhow, on a personal level, today I stayed up into my natural noctural habitat to chop vegetables and make borscht. its a long, tedious process at my rate, and took two days + leaving the vegetables out overnight to do, but now its done! and yummy healthful soup for the rest of the week. :)

I'm slowly chipping away at rebuilding life and haven't tackled doctors, dentists, pharmacist, therapist aspect yet because of feeling vaguely unsure about where I will actually end up living once this couchsurfing period is over. its such an ordeal I don't want to repeat it again....but my teeth need urgent care, and meds are gonna be essential for any kind of work. which i've also been avoiding.... February is historically the hardest month for me to get thru. every year. have delved into other things astrologically but February...well I guess natal Uranus square Venus, Sun and North Node/Pluto plus oppositon Mars....that's a rough transit. But its probably the weather. Okay on to the PDA/ADHD/sensory/wtf bullshit I wanted to write about:

today I slowed wayyyyy down and just noticed in my body where and when resistance came up. It was a huge dark spirally last few days, but today had a few breakthroughs of being honest when my anxiety tempted me to lie/hide, saying no to somebody instead of people pleasing, and calming down before calling my mom, and actually having a pleasant chat.

also addressed the Cat Peeing on Everything issue in a multitude of ways. I felt much stronger in my self-acceptance despite the realization last night that my joints have deteriorated to the point carrying grocery bags disolates them! my life is pretty boring and I'm sort of floating along with no direction, but today instead of spiralling about it, I used the role-play technique to coach myself into a new mindset of "maybe you are not ready to find your purpose yet, just focus on getting the basics down" AND I noticed when my avoidance was coming from sensory needs! and tried to address them before making the demand. it worked pretty decently (turns out when i'm cold i will Not be able to move my body until until its warm??) A huge Axis of PDA is our intense willpower and drive to conform, fit in, understand, mask, etc. among people who are not us, and not like us. I appreciate this about PDAers, this will to understand and adapt, and the determination to succeed despite all setbacks. however, I think due to our slower processing speed, with the demand avoidance interference, we often miss the "steps" involved in success. there may also be some wilful delusion - if they can do it I can do it! that comes from being hypersensitive to the opinions of an ableist collective. so this week for me, i was feeling the weight of "not and never will be enough" and comparison to others. however, deactivating my facebook and slowing down to make soup, going on a sunshine walk, supple,ents, using the happy light, and starting to practice responding at least a little more compassionately but firmly to my own meltdowns....its working. i just have to release the need to do everything, everywhere, all at once. PDAers are characterized by a strong will to not only live, but to feed, to grow, to expand, to be competent. full of ideas and desires!! Unfortunately we often do not receive the accommodations necessary to actually do so or develop missing skills bc of being good at masking, or our disability being demonized as willful, selfish and in need of "breaking" this can be very heartbreaking - but as today showed me in my roommate's gracious reaction to a talk I was very scared to have with them - when you find someone who does accommodate and understand, and are willing, able, and open to connect with them, it is also heart healing. our struggles are an opportunity to exercise deep self acceptance and love for the Self despite physical limitations and inabilities!!! or they can be in the right environment. that's my thoughts for now, now its really past time to go to bed and have wild near lucid dreams again. goodnight!!

.

#orchid speaks #PDA #pathological demand avoidance #autism #astrology

[wanderrlust0]

.

cant even be myself and go have fun where im genuinely wanted without her feeling insecure like shes not needed. no one has control over her which allows her to do whatever and say whatever. she drainsss me. if it weren’t for the little social life that i have, idek how I’d be. she cant adjust to change. she wants to have a grip on me, while setting me free, but sometimes its too much. i’m free without any help. i’m in charge of myself without any support or i’m under her wing when i don’t cause any anger. like i am Tired of it all. i need to focus more on not allowing it to get under my skin and kill them with kindness but holy f is it hard and its even harder to not get emotional every single time. all of my pent up emotions pour out. she tries to make me feel guilty and look bad, but the most prominent emotion she shows is anger. its nearly impossible for me to empathize for someone who is so quick to get mad and has no filter. despite all of this, i still need her and vice versa (even when she denies it). i need her but what comes with it gives me the most stress. i have cried my hardest bc of it & to the point where my whole body is literally shaking and i cant speak. sometimes makes me question if i’m just not tough enough. cant stress this enough, i am so so happy i at least have two specific people i am the closest with. my best friend from hs who i honestly really am thankful for. i love our late night talks. even when i feel like i want my alone time whenever i see her calling, i still enjoy our talks in the end. shes great at getting my mind off things bc of how much she talks lol. the second person is my boyfriend and he’s like the light in my life. the person who feels like a breath of fresh air. like a nice hot shower after a long day. the thing you look forward to. i can just unwind and let loose and not care and still know that i am wanted // 5.29.22

#mypost #journal

[volleychumps]

« Progressive Rivalry

Omg I love your blog 🥺 could I get a scenario or one shot with iwaizumi or Sakusa (or honestly any character you’d like!) where u run into each other at every tournament and it started out as a bitter rivalry but then they got rly worried bc u got hurt and they’re like “why do I care!?” Does that make sense? Ahaha 😅

~ just why do you keep running into the guy you hate most, especially when he equally hates your guts as well?

format: One-Shot 

genre: fluff

- includes: Iwaizumi Hajime

Warning(s): swearing, slight mention of blood, enemies to lovers trope 

--------------------------------------- 

“Oh look, my best friend’s here.” 

“Fuck off.” 

A sarcastic grin tickles your lips as you place a hand over your chest, pouting mock-affectionately as the dark haired spiker wipes at his sweaty neck with a damp towel. You adjust the gym bag on your arm as the rest of your team begins to warm up, already used to this turn of events. 

“Aw, Iwa! You always manage to warm my cold, dead heart. If you have a crush on me, just say so. Are you some kind of stalker?” 

“Hah? A stalker? You wish.”  Iwaizumi stands as the red-headed one and popular brunette behind him stifle their amused laughter into their fists. “Who would like looking at your ugly mug all day?” 

The spiker’s failed attempt to intimidate you with his height had your smile widening in challenge, the insult not hurting a bit.  In fact, you lean a little closer, fake sniffing as if he had genuinely hurt your feelings. 

“Yep. I definitely want this temperamental six year old in the body of a seventeen year old to show an ounce of interest in me. How’d you know?” 

“How can I not show interest in things that perturb me?” 

“So you are interested.” You wink. “Don’t hurt your pretty little head over using words that are too complicated for your brain.” You lean around him to shoot a sweet smile to his teammates, ignoring the flash of irritation across Iwa’s face. 

“Issei, Oikawa, Hiro!” You flash a thumbs up, your pretty smile almost blinding. “You guys were cool.” 

“Y/N-chan~ you’re such an angel!” 

“Angel my ass.” 

“Oh. You’re still here.” Your voice falls dejected as Iwaizumi gains an irk mark on his forehead. Glancing back at your team, you smile and wave at the other three. “Gotta go warm up, cheer for me!” 

“Good luck!” Matsukawa calls after you, merely grinning when Iwaizumi shoots him an irritated stare. 

“Not gonna wish the love of your life a good game?” Hanamaki questions, already beginning to walk off while smirking into his water bottle as his dark-haired friend merely scoffs. The teasing from his trio of “friends”  wasn’t anything new. 

“I don’t think that thing is capable of loving.”

“Yeah yeah, you love her, we get it.” 

Iwaizumi groaned inwardly, sitting down tiredly on the bleachers to rest up as your team littered your side of the net. His jaw clenched when you offered him a lazy wave, kneeling slightly in your position as a libero. 

There were many things Iwaizumi had could say about your character or even the irritating smile on your lips at his blatant annoyance, but he couldn’t deny how well your team mixed. Oikawa whistled lowly as Hanamaki absently mentions to Matsukawa about how the other team hardly stood a chance. 

Iwaizumi blinks, feeling a pit of annoyance in his gut as the boys in the stands whistled at every save you made, the pit deepening even further at the smile you cast in their direction. 

“You’ll get frown marks Iwa-Chan!” 

“Shut the hell-” 

“Oh shit! Y/N!” 

Iwaizumi’s head whips back in the direction of your match at the sound of Hanamaki’s exclamation just in time for the collision. 

And then his breath caught in his breath so abruptly he almost choked. 

You clutched your ankle, teeth biting so deep into your lip so hard Iwa swore he could see a bead of blood as you withheld an obvious wail of pain. Your teammate knelt by your side with a hand clamped over her mouth in shock, Iwa being able to make out from your teammates’ panic that someone had accidentally shoved you so hard to the side you swore you heard your ankle snap in an attempt to stabilize yourself. 

“Y/N-chan!” 

“Is she okay?” 

But Iwa wasn’t listening, all distaste for you seeming to drown out of his system as he wondered, 

wondered why the hell he cared so much about the girl who tried her hardest to get under his skin. Your witty retorts, your wide grin, the softness of your irises, and the pang in his chest every time you jokingly bumped your shoulder against his in passing- 

that same girl who’s cheeks were now shining with spilled tears causing him to rise to his feet. 

“Oi Iwaizumi, where are you going?” 

He didn’t spare a glance to your teammates as they silently made way for the wide-shouldered spiker, dark eyes assessing the damage as he bent down, swooping you up into his arms as if you hadn’t weighed a thing. He ignored the stares and wolf whistles from his team as he hurried out of the gym and in the direction of the infirmary towards the specialists who were trained for these events, heart tugging at the sound of your whimpers. 

“I’ve had dreams about this.” You mumble, eyes clenched shut as tears built up on your closed eyelids, arms wrapping around his neck tighter as you buried your face in his neck. “Please be hot, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“You’re still joking at a time like this?” Iwa’s voice cracks at the proximity, wondering why on earth his chest was pounding in his ears as your eyes shot open. Immediately, you begin to squirm, your face heating up as Iwaizumi continues his hurried stride, barely sparing you a glance. 

“You’re taking me?” 

“No.”

“Don’t be sarcastic with me!” 

Iwaizumi leans his head in the opposite direction, away from the volume of your voice, but he couldn’t stop the slight tilt of amusement on the right side of his lips as you seemed distracted by the obvious pain in your ankle. Mission successful. 

He ignores your protests to set you down, frowning at your claims to wanting anyone else to have taken you. Even the brunette one.

“See, now that’s just plain insulting.” Iwa’s eyes narrow at you as he finally sets you down on one of the cots, about to walk off to find the doctor before a hand weakly tugs at the bottom of his jersey. 

“....I think they’ll come soon. Can you...just stay? Just until they come?” 

Iwaizumi blinked. Then blinked again. 

Iwaizumi clears his throat, recovering from his shock before pulling up a stool and grabbing a nearby first aid kit. He tilted your chin up with his fingers, his gentle touch causing your cheeks to flare up as your eyes took on a vulnerable edge. 

“Why do you hate me so much?” It was genuine curiosity, anything to alleviate the strange heaviness in his chest when he acknowledged that fact that you despised him so.

Your eyes widen at the sudden attack, wincing a little as the cotton pad dabs at your lips, soaked in alcohol. “Why do you?” 

“I don’t hate you.”

“Oh-” 

“I just think you’re annoying as hell.” 

“Well I think that not a single thought goes on behind those pretty eyes.” 

“So you think my eyes are pretty?” 

The silence is heavy as you shake your head no quickly, causing Iwa to click his tongue and scold you to stay still as he keeps his eyes trained on your-

oh god he’s looking at your lips. 

“Yes.” You’re almost whispering, shyly avoiding his widened gaze as you lean away from him.

He stumbles over his words at your direct response, unprepared for the way in which you lean a little further back, eyes nervous and not at all the sarcastic gleam he knows as he swallows back the lump in his throat. 

“Well,” and then his hand is cupping the side of your face as he tugs you closer, confusion swirling in his head as his heart surges him forward, practically mumbling against your lips in a daze before he could stop himself. 

“I think you’re prettier.” 

He wanted to smirk at how he could practically see smoke puff out of your head. 

“Even if you hate me?” 

“I’m honestly not sure I ever did.” 

The distance is closed by you, a hand coming up to run your fingers through his dark locks as his thumb strokes your cheek, lips moving feverishly together as you attempt to pull back-

If he let you go, would you go back to hating one another? 

only for him to kiss you back even harder as if he was satiating some sort of hunger, a smile growing on your lips before a shot of pain shoots through your leg, bringing you back to reality as you whine against his lips. Iwaizumi gasps, ignoring your giggles and assuring words that you’re fine, carefully laying you down on your back while elevating your ankle. 

“Y/N.” 

“First name basis? Look at us skipping all the necessary steps.” you tug your hair out of it’s knot, attempting to redo it with a hair tie between your lips as the pain in your ankle falls to a dull throb. 

“What did....are we...?”

“Does the Iwaizumi Hajime want to know if we’re a thing or not?” Your smile has his cheeks flushing, stare becoming irritated. 

“Oi. Nevermi-” 

“Yes, idiot. Now run along and fetch my things, will you?” 

He rolls his eyes at your playful wink, ensuring your injured ankle was positioned properly before beginning to exit the infirmary-

“And Iwa?”

“What is it, doll?” 

Your chest leaps at the nickname, Iwaizumi beginning to smirk at the change in expression on your face before you clear your throat. 

“Thank you.” 

It was one of the most sincere things you had ever said to him. 

Your unexpected boyfriend kissed you on the lips a second time after a few strides, any confusion within him seeming nonexistent as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. The way you gazed up at him had his chest doing somersaults, wondering if you were both just denying the attraction you felt towards one another before fate took its turn. 

“Nah, I should be thanking you.” 

“For what?” 

“Hurting your ankle-” 

“Get out.” 

Iwa’s feeling like an idiot with the lilt to his lips when the door slides shut and something hits the door where his head would have been, the slight smile fading back to his usual scowl at the sight before him. 

His three friends had identical grins on their faces, Matsukawa holding a #1 fan balloon and Hanamaki decked out in merch from your school. He narrows his eyes at the bouquet of flowers tucked behind Oikawa’s back. All obviously from the themed store of the tournament. 

Guess he didn’t need to worry about whether or not you would enjoy his idiotic friends’ company. 

“So you're whipped. Didn’t see that one coming.” 

“Whatever.”

“Iwa, where are you going?” 

“...to go get her things.” 

“You so love her.” 

“Shut the hell up and don’t enter her room until I get back.”

It was only when the dark-haired spiker turned the corner, looking behind and in front of him before his back hits a nearby wall as he attempts to calm his heartbeat, swearing he had never felt such a wild surge of energy through his veins as his lips tingled with the taste of you. He sighs, touching the hair tie that he stole from you when he kissed you a second time from within his pocket, wondering just when his hatred melted into the exact opposite. 

He was so whipped.

-------------------------

General works: @takemetovalhalla  @faesbae  @savemesteeb @dreebbles @yams046   @let-me-have-my-own-name  @deadontheinsidebut @lifeisntjustblackandwhite   @curiouslilbeast  @aprettyfruit   @wisepandaslimeland   @h0ngh0ngh0ng   @lmkjimin   @orangegiraffe7   @dai-tsukki-desu   @kac-chowsballs   @spikertrash   @yamaguwuchi   @lord-suneater-explosion   @holaaaf  @babyybokutoakaashi   @lexysclubhouse   @disneyloving-muggle   @kuuuuroo   @theonep1ece  @that-chick212  @mjoork

Hi all! How are you lovelies doing? I’m going to be on here more often, thank you for 9k and your patience with me has helped me so much! This was one of my requests that I wanted to use to slide back into the swing of things, so I hope you enjoyed! <3

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu iwa #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #hq iwaizumi #haikyuu seijoh #seijoh #Aoba Johsai #haikyuu aoba johsai #haikyuu requests #hq fanfic #hq headcannons #hq scenarios #hq x reader

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Drabble#2)

Summary: Jungkook is sick and needs your love.

Pairing: Always You!Jungkook x female reader

Genre: fluff, implied smut.

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: none really! enjoy

Notes: no smut in this one! I’m surprised at myself lol Enjoy:)

Taglist: @seagulljk

© taestefully-in-luv

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are the definition of exhausted. Work was hectic today to say the least, you didn’t think all these cookie orders would come out of thin air like the way they did today. You and your coworkers are so god damn tired but still decided that you guys were going to hit a bar to celebrate that the day is over. You were going to at least. That is until you were on your way to your car when your phone started buzzing with incoming messages.

Jungkook 9:24pm

Baby I am dying I think I am actually dying

Jungkook 9:24pm

Is it normal to have hallucinations while on nyquil

Jungkook 9:25pm

Bc I keep thinking you’re here and your gorgeous lips are on my dick

Jungkook 9:25pm

Oh my goodddd I am dying, I need you

Jungkook 9:25pm

I need you

You look at your screen and frown…Jungkook mentioned this morning he was feeling sort of…under the weather. But now he’s talking about dying? While you are stubborn while sick, Jungkook is quite the opposite. He’s needy, wants attention and will pretty much do anything you ask.

y/n 9:27pm

Do I need to come take care of you?

Jungkook 9:27pm

Yes:( please come home…

“y/n!” Jade jogs up to you, stopping when she gets to you and your car. “Want to ride together?”

“Ah,” you bite down on your bottom lip, “Actually my boyfriend is sick and—”

“You can say ‘Jungkook’” Jade rolls her eyes playfully, “But I get it, saying ‘boyfriend’ is fun, huh?”

You blush, feeling embarrassed. “Yeah, well. Jungkook is kind of sick and he’s such a baby when he’s like this and—”

“No need to explain.” She smiles, “Go. Next time,” she promises. “But you owe me a drink for leaving me with these fools. Hazel is apparently meeting us too, and you know how Adam gets.” She teases, “So, you owe me.”

“Noted.” You laugh, “See you later, Jade.”

You get inside your car, turning the ignition on when your phone starts buzzing again, this time a phone call from none other than your boyfriend.

“Hello?” you bring the phone to your ear. “Jungkook?”

“Baby.” Jungkook drags out the word in a whine, “Please bring me more medicine.” He softly begs. You have to admit he does sound pretty pathetic. You can’t help but pity him as he starts dramatically coughing on the other side of the line.

“And please hurry. I need you. Need you to cuddle me and kiss me. I think your kisses could possibly cure me.”

“I’m about to leave work right now,” you confirm, “Which meds should I get you? What are you feeling exactly?”

“I’m feeling so…so in love with you.” He slurs from his drowsy state, then starts giggling.

“Jungkook.” You deadpan. “What are your symptoms?”

“It’s just a cold.” He says, “I think it’s what Jimin had a few days ago. That bastard passed it to me.”

“And you want me to kiss you?!” you laugh, “I’m not trying to get sick.”

“No, no. Don’t worry baby, our power of love will fight against it.”

“You are so…” you begin laughing again, your blush deepening. “I’ll be home in like 30 minutes, okay? Think you’ll be alive when I get there?”

“Your love keeps me alive.” He teases, “See you soon. Love you.”

“Love you, bye.” You bring the phone down and click the end button. The AC is blowing in your face, cooling you from the warmth that had crept on your cheeks while talking to Jungkook. It’s unbelievable that he’s able to make you blush like this, like as if this was completely brand new like you haven’t known him for years.

~~~~~~

The apartment is completely dark when you walk in and also completely quiet. Did Jungkook fall asleep? Did that NyQuil finally do its job? You set the bag of meds down on the breakfast table and turn on the kitchen light. You walk into the kitchen and grab a glass from the cabinet to fetch you some water, it’s nice and cold as if travels down your throat. It feels nice… the dark, quiet apartment—you need the rest after today. You think you’re about to go find a sleeping Jungkook and get some sleep yourself when you feel two strong arms wrap around your waist.

“You’re finally here.” Jungkook whispers, “I waited all day for you.” He whines and you smile for him even though he can’t see.

“All day?” you ask, “Should I have left work to come take care of you?” you tease.

“Yes,” he responds shamelessly. “I missed you so much…I think that’s why I just got sicker throughout the day.” He tightens his hold on you but immediately loosens his grip from how weak he feels.

“Come to bed.” He commands and you spin around in his grasp to face him.

“I need to shower and get ready first.” You explain and he looks at you with sad, tired eyes.

“No.” he pouts, “Who cares? Just change and come to bed.”

“Jungkook.” You chuckle. “I worked hard today, I need a shower.”

Jungkook brings you into his chest and he inhales you, taking in your scent and he melts.

“You smell fine, y/n.”

“I smell like cookies.”

“Smells good.”

“Fine, let’s go to bed.”

Jungkook’s sleepy face lights up and he turns your body around so your back is flush against his chest and he holds on to you.

“Lead the way.” He chirps, “I’m not letting go.”

“Jungkook…” you whine as you try walking forward and he follows you while holding on to you as tight as his tired body possibly can.

You two walk into your shared bedroom and he finally drops his arms to his side and makes his way into bed. You go to your drawer and pull out one of his t shirts…you slip off your work clothes for the day and drag the t shirt of your body.

“Cutie.” Jungkook comments as he lays back and watches you change.

“Oh shit, I forgot to grab your meds. I’ll be right back.” You say making Jungkook frown. You make your way back into the kitchen and grab the baggy full of medicine plus a glass of water and walk back into the room when you notice Jungkook dozing off.

“Babe?” you whisper and his eyes immediately shoot open.

“Come cuddle me.” He weakly pats the spot next to him and you smile.

“Take these first.”

“Yes mam.”

He looks up at you with his beautiful doe eyes, a look of submission written all over his face.

“These first.” You hand him two different pills as you sit on the edge of the bed and he swallows them down quickly while staring into your eyes.

“Now these.”

Jungkook nods his head while taking another two pills.

“Any more?” he asks quietly.

“That’s it for your meds.”

“Wrong.” He states. “I need the most powerful medicine of all.” He gives you a soft smile, “Need a kiss from my baby…please, please kiss me. Missed your lips all day.”

“Jungkook…”

“Your kiss will cure me, I’m sure of it.” He whispers softly. “All I need is you to be okay.”

Your eyes widen at his cute confession, he’s so god damn sleepy—you can tell. His eyes are barely staying open but he just wants to be with you. He is trying his hardest to stay awake because he missed you so much throughout the day.

“Please.” He quietly begs. “Need you.”

You search his eyes and find nothing but love in them, you can’t help but beam at him. One kiss can’t hurt you, right?

You scoot closer to him on the bed, your hands finding themselves in his Jungkook’s hair as you softly bring his face closer to you.

“One kiss.” You promise and Jungkook nods his head slowly with a dopey grin on his face.

“We’ll see about that.” He says under his breath and you laugh while leaning in closer to his face.

You lean in until his breaths hit your lips, your lips just barely touching his and he grows weaker at the contact.

“Please.” He begs again, his words hitting your mouth. “Please.”

You peck his lips softly, just giving him a slow kiss. He kisses back, his lips moving against yours so tenderly it makes you melt. You can tell he has no energy but he continues to kiss you. He slants his mouth over yours and tries to deepen the kiss, you tilt your head and give him a better angle. You said one kiss but…

Suddenly, you feel the wetness of his tongue poking out, trying to find its way between your lips. You open your moth just a little wider to give him access to your own tongue, he slides his in your mouth and slowly caresses his with yours. He releases a long, soft moan and you hate that you get so turned on hearing him. This isn’t a moment to get turned on, this is a sweet, tender moment.

Jungkook slips his tongue out and begins pecking your lips again, a little faster than before. But then he pulls back, his breaths nice and heavy.

“I’m so dizzy.” he says with his eyes closed.

“Me too.” You admit, feeling quite breathless yourself.

“No…I mean, like, literally. I don’t feel good.” He breathes out, “Kissing you, I think took all the energy I have left…what are you like a succubus or something?” he jokes.

“Baby, you need to sleep.”

“Snuggle with me, please.” He pats the spot next to him again and you get up and walk over to that side of the bed. You slip underneath the sheets and move your body close to his. You can feel all his heat radiate off his body and you frown…he must have a fever.

“Let’s sleep, my love.” You say but Jungkook weakly shakes his head.

“Wanna hear about your day.” He sinks deeper into the covers and lays his head on your chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“It was busy, we had what felt like a million orders today. Yoongi even came by but left because we were so busy.”

“Mhm.” He nuzzles his face into your breasts, “Did you think of me today?” he asks.

“I always think of you.” You admit.

“I thought of you so much today.” He says between heavy sighs, “Missed you so much.” He squeezes your body tighter. “I don’t think I can be without you for very long.”

You feel your heart pinch in your chest…because…

“You can. You’re just a baby.” You tease.

“No, I really don’t think I can. I felt myself grow weaker every moment I was without you.” He huffs into your chest. You caress his back as he speaks, his words becoming more and more slurred and distant from on another. He’s so tired.

“You love me that much?” you get out in a whisper and it’s silent for a few moments, you think maybe he finally fell asleep until you hear him sigh out.

“I literally don’t love anyone as much as I love you.”

You keep quiet for a few moments too long because after around a minute or so you hear Jungkook lightly snoring into your chest…you can’t help but smile down at him. He’s wrapped his entire body around you, holding you, squeezing you. You caress his back some more and start to feel yourself fall asleep as well. Your eyes getting heavier and heavier until the world becomes dark.

~~~~~

“Good morning!” You feel Jungkook’s breath on your ear, you begin to open your eyes, blinking lazily at your surroundings.

“Morning?” you question since it’s still dark in the room. “It’s still night?” you ask.

“It’s like 5am.” Jungkook states. Your eyes finally begin adjusting in the darkness and you notice Jungkook looks ten times better. He still looks tired but he has more life.

“Your kiss cured me, if that’s what you are thinking about.” He smiles that bunny smile and you laugh.

“I thought it drained you of your life?” you sit up on your elbows, “That I’m a succubus?”

“No, it helped me sleep so it could work its love magic on me and now I feel almost all the way better.”

“Almost?” you quirk a brow and he chuckles.

“I think I need more from you to make me all the way better.” He wiggles his brows at you and sends you a wink.

“What more do you need?” you lean forward and peck his lips, but you linger in his space. He smiles against your mouth and kisses you again.

“I think my hallucinations were actually visions of the future.”

You tilt your head, trying to remember what his text said about hallucinations when realization hits you.

“You need my lips wrapped around your cock?”

“I think that’s the ultimate cure.” He kisses you again, “Don’t you think?”

“You’re so needy.” Your lips move over his sensually, your tongue making its way into his mouth. He whimpers into your mouth when he feels your hand grab a hold of his hardening member. He pulls away from you and smiles softly.

“I’ll always need you.”

#bts #bts fluff #bts smut #jeon jeongkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #always you drabbles

[blxetsi]

HIIIII!! can i get a pieck finger dating headcanons if that’s alright with you of course? your stuff makes me soft, stay safe!

yuh ‼️ tysm for your request

pieck finger dating headcanons (modern au)

pieck finger x gn!reader

warnings: literal fluff, no angst or anything i love pieck

- bc pieck is assumed to be like 23-26 this wont be a uni au or anything

- idk i rlly think you guys wouldve met in a mundane way

- like you bump into her on the sidewalk and try to the really awkward "oh im so sorry i didnt see you there- no really it was my fault- are you sure youre okay ?- okay great- no im not hurt- yeah- okay have a good day and again im so sorry !!" thing with her

- and then maybe you guys see each other again at a coffee place, youre there with your friends and shes there with hers, and you dont wanna talk to her obv bc that would be awkward

- then ur friend makes u go and order another coffee for them, and while youre waiting for your order pieck comes and stands beside you

- and shes very observant yknow ?? if she sees a face its very hard for her to forget it

- so she immediately recognizes you and blurts out "its you !"

- and you have to be like "oh yeah ! it is me ! its you too"

- she finds it quite cute and giggles about it

- a very laidback person but also a very blunt person

- she doesnt find any harm in asking "can i get your instagram @" look she doesnt wanna be a creep and ask for ur number right at the start

- and it gives her a chance to find out what kind of person you are

- it would absolutely suck for her if such a cute face was posting fishing pictures and alt right propaganda yknow ??

- so you two do and then both of your orders come so you two give awkward goodbyes before going back to your groups

- her instagram is very pretty, nice themes

- she posted a couple of hours ago, with her and her friends in a park, taking a couple of posed photos while some looking like they were natural

- shes adorable and you cant help but feel your cheeks go warm as you basically stalk her page

- she dms you and says "are you too busy looking at my feed that you havent followed me yet ?" and you see this mf staring at you across the room like 👁️👁️

- okay nosy lets calm down now 🙄🤚

- you try to defend urself but ur typing so quick you keep making errors in your writing, she ends up saying something else

"you know, i was doing the exact same thing. youre beautiful you know"

- thank you pieck 🥰

- over the next couple of weeks thats how you two communicate. she'll send you instagram memes and edits of her favourite shows, movies, games etc. and you find yourself having a lot in common w her

- you check her story so frequently it becomes one of the first accounts on the top of your homepage

- and FINALLY, when she feels she can see you as a friend and not just some pretty stranger she met on the street she asks you out

- it was a simple thing, just to the movies, and she even let you pick which one !! (imagine its pre covid idfk)

- you two go and its an awkward hug before you both head inside

- you pay for your tickets and she gets an extra large popcorn and a drink

- you assume shes just v hungry but before you can order yourself something shes like "what are you doing i got this for us !!"

- rlly cute bitch omfg

- during the movies, after she eats literally most of the fucking popcorn, she pulls your hand out of your lap and holds it with her buttery one 🥰🤚

- this bitch had crumbs and didnt even think to wipe them off

- you still held her hand tho anyways

- after that night you parted ways in front of the theater after making sure you two would be getting home safe

- and that became routine for a couple of weeks, not going to the movies obviously bc thats expensive but watching movies together !! youd go over to her apartment or she would come over to yours

- one thing about pieck is that shes very touchy

- one way or another she will end up cuddled with you on the couch

- it doesnt matter if its you being forcefully pulled on top of her body or her draping herself over you like shes a blanket, you two WILL be cuddling and you WILL enjoy it

- but finally, as if the gods gave you mercy, she finally kissed you

- it felt so nice, her lips were soft and sticky from her lip gloss and she tasted like the swedish berries you had gotten for her to munch on

- and the rest of the movie you two just sat there, kissing each other and giggling like teens

- she ended up staying the night, and complimented your bedsheets

- your relationship moved pretty fast after that

- she had already told all of her friends about you, they werent very surprised

- when you got officially introduced her friends zeke and porco tried to do that whole "if you hurt her.." speech before she slapped them and had marcel pull you away to safety

- other than that the night was very fun, you got to talking about your career, why you moved to the city, and other mundane topics

- pieck is actually a graphic designer, and everytime she comes to sleep over she just HAS to bring her laptop with her

- its basically just her laying in between your legs while she types away, youll pet her hair and lay soft kisses on her neck, and occasionally ask what shes doing

- she likes to tell you, has no problem in answering the questions you have, even if you think theyre stupid ones, shes very soft with you

- also a bit of a trickster

- for your first april fools together she slept over, you didnt have anything planned for her bc youre a good person and wont hurt the ones you love

- she stuffed your breakfast muffin with mustard 😁👍

- you gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day until she apologized by getting you a new muffin

- now she always dropped the l bomb to you, but she never needed you to say it

- thats why, when you were helping her cook dinner at her place you softly said "see ? and thats why i love you" she kind of,,, stopped what she was doing

- you realized why she wasnt washing the knife she used to cut your vegetables and tried to backtrack, but it was too late, she was already tackling you into a hug and taking you down onto the floor

- she just gave you kisses while repeating "i love you i love you i love you" over and over again

- bc of her you burnt ur fucking chicken smh

- you spent that night eating junk food and watching movies

- piecks a very observant person, so she always knows when youre sad too

- when you give that little huff when you come home to your (new !) shared apartment she knows something is up

- she'll slowly trail behind you as you walk to your bedroom, stripping to your underwear and changing into your pajamas

- you crawl into bed just wanting a nap to forget about the day, and she'll crawl in with you and hold you

- you never like to cry but youre so frustrated and upset at your coworkers, at that rude customer, at those deadlines, that you just breakdown

- and she lets you, she lets you almost suffocate yourself in her chest with how much your pushing your head into it, she strokes your hair while you choke on your own cries and hands you tissues when you need to blow your nose

- "what do you need my love ?" "i just need you" "okay baby"

- communication is a big thing in the relationship, and because shes been so open and honest from the beginning, talking about how you feel has never been easier

- in fact, you like talking about how you feel about your relationship, or how you didnt like what pieck said to your friends the other day, this and that, you feel comfortable and safe with pieck no matter what, which makes talking about even the most hardest things seem so simple and natural

- all in all, even when she wakes you up with spontaneous ice cream dates or asks that you put raisins in the popcorn during movie night, even with the fights and the crying and the exhaustion the next day, life would be much duller without her, and you only have to thank your clumsy self

uhh i feel like this is very short but yeah ❤️ requests are open so go crazy mfs ‼️

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #hange zoe #pieck finger headcanons #pieck finger x reader #pieck finger #pieck x reader #pieck headcanons #pieck aot #marcel galliard #porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager x reader

[cloudy-leonhart]

AOT Characters with a filipino S/O!

[Author Note: I just made this out of impulse lol, I’ll make a part two with the AOT veterans- if it’s requested then I’ll make a part three with the Marley Warriors- feedback is also appreciated on all my posts :))]

[Summary: It’s just headcanons, AOT with a filipino S/O lol, that’s it. that’s the post.]

Recommended song: Sa Susunod Na Lang - Skusta Clee ft. Yuri.

Gender Neutral Reader.

Theme: Fluff, Modern AU.

TW: Swearing.

Characters: Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Marco, Connie, Sasha.

Eren Jaeger

He probably fucks up his greetings with your parents, surprisingly your dad loves him, both of them talk about basketball and boxing, whenever Many does a fight, you and him come over so Eren could watch with you dad.

This man gets bodied by your dad ALL THE TIME during basketball, it’s valid because your dad used to be a basketball player.

He eats with his hands, yes he also got that from your dad. Your mom always comes up to you, while Eren and your dad talk, she’s happy that you found someone, and that Eren reminds her a lot of your dad.

Mans swallows rice like it was no one’s business, he eats that shit with barbecue and vinegar. 

You can’t tell me he gets drunk with your dad and his friends?? They watch boxing matches and eat peanut while drinking beer.

For some reason he acts like he lives there?? Like the whole community knows about him, the kids like playing with him, the guys like doing karaoke and drinking beer with them, and the titas and lolas love talking about your relationship with him and how they would totally marry a guy like that if they ever met someone like that when they were younger.

His favourite thing about the culture? Probably how open the people were, they were very generous and kind.

Armin Arlert

When you first told him, he was kind of like, “okay??” but he also took time out of his day to research your culture, he’s the type to catch you in a sad mood where you really miss your country, and take time out of his day to try his best to make food from your culture.

He’s mastered to cook Tofu Sisig and Halo-Halo. You always ask him to make it for you whenever you’re sad.

He could never understand how your family’s able to sit in your traditional clothing, he tries his hardest not to scratch, he literally looks at you with a look begging for help because he was itchy but he didn’t want to take it off.

You had to explain that he doesn’t always have to participate in your culture, because respecting your culture was enough for you. Mans cried because he thought he was horrible for not wearing the Barong for the whole ceremony.

He does loves trying filipino recipes, he loves seeing you cook adobo or tapsilog in the morning, it just fills the house with an amazing aroma.

he knows how to say ‘i love you’ in Tagalog and he has fully replaced ‘I love you’ with ‘Mahal Kita.’ 

Favourite thing about the culture? The language, he just loves learning new words everyday, his favourite saying so far is, “Huwag kang mag-alala. Akong bahala.” (Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.)

Mikasa Ackerman

Poor baby was confused, she caught you talking on the phone in another language and she just stared concerningly at you, forgetting about whatever she’s doing.

She was also afraid to try your food?? Until you shove a ube-filled riceball (in filipino, Buchi) in her mouth, she ends up making it her comfort food, she asks you to make Buchi with her, she likes to eat the left over filling.

she actually wants to keep trying some of your culture’s food, her favourites so far is definitely Taho and Kaldereta, and of course Buchi.

She can’t say much in tagalog but she does know traditions, she did the binasuan dance with you once, amazingly she kept all cups in balance for her first time.

She knows how bless and actually calls people tita and tito, or ate and kuya. She was kind of, ahem, convinced, to call your parents nanay and tatay.

Your parents always complain about how you haven’t married Mikasa yet, Mikasa was confused about why she could hear them talking about her, but you reassured her that it was only just your parents egging you to marry Mikasa. In which she blushed in return.

Mikasa also learns recipes from Armin, those two cook for ther S/O’s so much that even their S/O feel like their not filipino enough, they got to try things even they didn’t know filipino culture had.

Jean Kirstein

SUPRISINGLY, he knows what blessing is, went as far as saying “Mano po.” whenever he did.

 your dad hates him for some reason lmfao like your dad’s always staring at him with a weird expression.

He’s scared of your dad, no cap. first time you guys went on a date and didn’t have a house together, he almost shit himself talking to your dad.

You tried to teach him to do the tinikling dance and he almost broke his leg.

You and your parents conversed by yelling at each other, like Sasha, he too thought that you were arguing with them and he tapped you on the shoulder like, “Should I leave?-” You were confused as he was, you had to explain that yelling was a way filipinos communicated.

He was concerned when you would hit him while laughing, you also had to explain that was also something most filipino’s communicated.

He tried picking the language up but he just butchers the pronunciation.

Favourite thing about your culture is the places, if he could he probably would’ve bought a private island.

Does this man know how to cook filipino food?? Yessir!! He’s absolute god at cooking, imagine when he finds out we have a whole CHEESE ice cream-

Mans was confused confused, why..would you like cheese ice cream?? surprisingly he likes the ice cream, it’s sweet and salty??

Connie Springer

THIS MAN- he thought filipino was a sexuality?? when you told him, he’s like “so, what gender do you prefer then?” 

HE WAS DUMBFOUNDED WHEN HE FOUND OUT WHAT FILIPINO MEANT-

I just know he shared filipino swears with Sasha, he actually grew accustomed to them, once in a while you’ll hear, ‘PUTANGINA’ throughout the house, because he stubbed his toe.

ugh he rocked the barong too, AND HE ROCKED HIS TINIKLING DANCE.

your titas seemed to love him?? Every time you talk to them, they ask if he’s doing okay.

He actually is a simp for filipinos, he was awestruck with how much beautiful women and men there were in the Philippines.

you cannot tell me this man doesn’t watch Manny Paqcuiao’s boxing fights.

In general he tries his best to respect your culture and not disrespect them, but he cannot bless for the life of him.

favourite thing about your culture is the adobo, he says its “bussin’”.

He drinks with your titos and your dad. No way he doesn’t, he also plays basketball with them.

traumatized somehow by the naked children running down the street sometimes- Filipino streets man, a little too comfortable-

He was shocked to find out that some people showered outside?? Like comfortably?

Man covers his whole face bc he feels like a perv.

Marco Bodt

Absolute researcher in your culture, like Armin, he actually makes sure he’s not disrespecting it or anything.

HE DOES THE BLESS GESTURE, but he whispers in your ear about how he accidentally blessed one of your titas too hard

his favourite filipino dish is Buko Pandan, he literally couldn’t help but get seconds when your grandma offered him a cup.

tbh he rocked his barong, he looked so good, like GAH DAYUM.

he picked up some words since he really loved being around your family, you were lively and your family was so open to accepting him.

you and him danced in a barong and baro’t saya for your wedding reception.

genuinely, he was in fearful awe when you caught a rat your parents have been complaining about in their house, remind you rats in the Philippines are as big as kittens 

He also calls you Mahal, it’s kinda cringey but you thought it was cute.

Favourite part of your culture, the clothing, he’s always asking to go to parties just so he can wear the barong.

he’s also deathly afraid of the bodies of water the Philippines has, he doesn’t know if murky water scares him more than clear water in the islands.

Mans tried his best to corporate your culture into your guys’ wedding, until your Tito Philip brought a WHOLE ASS LIVE CHICKEN as a wedding gift?!

he was kinda sad y’all didn’t keep the chicken.

Sasha Braus

Sasha honestly didn’t know that your were filipino until you spoke your language with a family member, you guys were yelling at each other and Sasha thought y’all were fighting-

she wants to learn the language BUT ONLY THE SWEARS, connie and her both.

she loves when you speak to her in your langauge, she loves guessing what you’re telling her. SHE ALSO LOVES WHEN UR PARENTS TRY TO SPEAK TO HER AND THEIR ACCENTS COME OUT.

you guys actually went to the Philippines for your guys’ honeymoon. did she almost spend all your money? yes, did you let her? duh.

Her most favourite thing about your culture is definitely the food, and beautiful people like you.

Genuinely rocks the Baro’t Saya, her short hair goes well with the dress, her colour was a dullish-pastel pink, she had a matching fan with it too! 

She wore it for your birthday, almost ruined it by almost spilling fruit salad on it.

THIS WOMAN- SHE WAS LITERALLY CRYING TEARS OF JOY WHEN SOMEONE BROUGHT OUT THE LECHON (a whole roasted pig).

Yes, she almost ate half of it, she would’ve probably finished it if it weren’t for her eating everything else, a human compost bin, you got leftovers? She’ll eat em.

She loved going to Jollibee with you, you and her have dates where you literally eat almost everything off the menu.

#aot imagines #aot x reader #aot veterans #aot x y/n #aot #aot headcanons #armin arlet x reader #mikasa #mikasa x y/n #armin aot #miche zacharias #miche x reader #mike zacharias #erwin snk #erwin x reader #eren x you #eren aot #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #hanji zoe #hange zöe #bertholdt #annie leonhart x reader #reiner braun #reiner x reader #jean kirschtein x you #jean kirstein #marco bodt x reader #connie springer #sasha braus

[oppabimbab]

hottest apology | kim taehyung

genre: smut, slight fluff

starring: taehyung x reader

synopsis: you made him mad so you gave him the hottest apology ever.

words: 2,730 words

tags: jealousy, submissive reader, insecurity, daddy!kinks, handjob, bl*w!job, boob!fuck, fingering, slight dom taehyung, cl*t tease,

side notes: it’s been 3 months since i wrote, holy shit sorry if it’s bad, i have lost my writing skills lol and also its taehyung ff again bc im always obsessed with him bye.

**

It’s been 5 days since Taehyung have talked to you. Exactly 5 days since both of you got into a pretty serious and heated argument. 5 days is quite long for someone like him to be this mad. Well, your boyfriend has been that gentle, calm and observant person that he always be the one who breaks the silence first but it’s different now.

You’re not sure if the thing really triggered him this much to the point it’s making him to do something he never did before—leaving the house. All because of one thing he seems to hate the most.

“Oh my god, Taehyung. Stop being a kid. He just wanted my help, that’s all?” you frowned at him while holding the tone in your voice. You knew he hate it when you sound annoyed and pissed when talking to him.

Taehyung’s jaw was clenched even more at your words as he leaned against the wall with crossed arms. He probably has been waiting you to come home since forever.

“Really? I didn’t know keeping him company at the coffee shop is one of the ways of ‘helping’ him. What did you guys do?” His deep eyes were piercing into yours and swear to God, it gave butterflies to your system. Let alone his croaky voice that filled the room—making your heart raced for no reason. That was hot. Fuck yeah, not a good time to be horny.

You adjusted your position at the bedroom door—exchanging eye contacts with your boyfriend who seemed to be really mad but it didn’t come to your mind that he is actually being serious. Probably he was just moody that you came back late. You tried to convince yourself.

“He was alone and stressed so I kept him company for a while. Nothing much, baby. He is nothing to me. We did nothing.Seriously,” you spoke, defensively even deep inside, you were tired to death. All you wanted was to sleep and For God’s sake, your quick coffee sessions with Seonghwa was random. He just happened to be in the same shop with you. Why did Taehyung think you want to let him get into your panties? Exaggerating.

“Did you even tell me before you met him?”

“No? Because it’s unplanned?”

Just as you thought Taehyung would let this topic go, he looked even madder. His gaze was flamed in fire, his body was tensed and stiffed just like the prominent veins along his neck. He has this habit where he would roll up the shirt sleeves and ruffle his hair when he is mad. Silence filled the room as both of you didn’t say anything.

“I thought I said I hate him. I hate to see you with him. I just don’t want to see you with him. isn’t that clear to you?,” his voice was too low and it made him sound very dominant. Fuck, something was twirling in your stomach.

You jaw was dropped.

“Taehyung! He’s just fr-“

“Who cares? You’re mine. Fucking mine and I don’t like sharing. I never fucking do. I thought you knew that huh?” he stared at you with his flaming eyes and raised eyebrows while chewing his mouth. If stare could stab people, you could die by now. Your mouth felt dry as you’ve lost words to say. Taehyung has never been this mad before.

You supressed a small chuckle to ease the tension.

“Taehyung, are you jealous?”

But what a wrong move. He left the house.

Now, he is giving you the coldest treatment ever. He don’t kiss you, call you pet names, make love to you like he always did or even look at you more than 10 seconds. You thought he would only act up like this for few days but now, it almost been a week. And as ego as you’re, you don’t even start to make up even deep inside, you pretty much understand why he did this.

Taehyung has always been such a protective boyfriend. He made it clear he dislikes Seonghwa and you already promised him to stay away from the guy. You broke the promise and now you need to face the consequences. Swear to God, these 5 days were killing you inside. You missed him so much.

His kiss, his touch, his morning voice, his jokes but why can’t you face him and say sorry? Is it because it’s always him to fix the relationship first? Is it because it’s always him to come to you and say sorry first?

You don’t realise that until one night. One bloody night when you realised that he is only yours and you hate sharing. Your whole body is filled with jealousy and greed when you are left alone at your table in his stupid company dinner as Taehyung is surrounded by so many people, who probably have been waiting for him.

You know he is popular for his kind personality and looks since he composes music for these popular people but you don’t know he is this popular. A sudden jealousy and insecurity hit you like a truck when you finally realised that you’ve taken him for granted after all these while. He chose you over these people yet you did the thing he hated the most.

He will make sure you know how much he loves you—being that home you always go back to when things got hard, let alone showering you with the honesty and security you deserve in this relationship. Few seconds in, you just figured it out—he never did something that hurts you to the point you wanted to leave the house. But you did that to him. You broke this good guy’s heart.

From afar, he’s definitely look good with someone else other than you and it’s giving you an unfamiliar pain in the chest. This fight is longest and the hardest fight you ever had with him and it hurts you even more when his eyes catch yours in the middle of crowded party

but, he looked away.

**

The house feels dead. It feels gloomy and sad when both of you just got home from the party and he didn’t even want to say anything as he goes to the bedroom. Not even a glance. Fucking hell, it drives you crazy.

By the time you got in the room, he just come out from the toilet—freshly bathed. The sweet scent from the shampoo and soaps fills your sense with his naked body in the sight. There is nothing coming out from your mouth as you notice him looking away from your gaze. He feels distant and cold.

“Baby,” after a while, you speak out.

No answer.

“I’m sorry,”

Taehyung looks unbothered when he keeps drying his wet hair with the small towel with his back facing you. Your heart hurts a lot.

“I’m so sorry, I miss you. Talk to me,” tears start to pool in your eyes when you can’t hold the pain of being ignored by a man whom you loved the most. Did he stop loving you? Did he find someone else?

Few steps are taken before you slowly wrap your arms around his torso from behind—hugging him tight as you bury your face on his back. He is very tall and well-built that he makes you feel safe and sound.

Taehyung doesn’t move or push you away—rather than hugging you back, he just let you do whatever you want to do. Good thing because you know what you want to do.

Slowly, you pull away from him and come to face him. You don’t have the courage to look at him in the eyes, making you to come closer to him before kissing his bare chest. Kissing him gives you such serotonin that nothing can explain. It makes you happy and high to the point you want to have all of him for yourself only. Every inches of him.

His gaze—you can feel it. He is looking down at you but the courage to look at him has gone when you know how greedy you are when it comes to him. But you did him wrong. How do you fix this?

The tension fills the room before you finally make some move by tracing your fingers on his torso—admiring his lines with this familiar knot in your stomach. His wet and naked body sting your lower abdomen—making your panty sticky wet. Fuck, you want him. In you. Now.

“Hm?” a husky hum leaves his mouth right after you push him on the bed. He is clearly confused at your sudden gesture but for some reason, he is anticipating it—which brings you another butterflies. He stares at you while biting his lower lip with a small smile appears in the corner of his lips. This guy is fucking hot.

Ignoring him, you get to your knees in front him as he sits on the edge of the bed—with your face only few inches away from his crotch before you bring your hand on the fold of the towel that has been covering his lower body.

“What are you doing?” he says with a small playful smile across the lips, sounded confused as ever. You look at him with a needy eyes.

“Apologize,” you mumble before looking back down to his crotch. This time, it wasn’t covered anymore. It’s huge, hard, raw and delicious—you can’t help but leaning closer as you take him fully into your mouth. A soft whimper leaves his mouth at the sudden warmth.

With your might, you take his length into your mouth until it completely disappear from the sight while your small hand rubbing around his cock. Your head is bobbing up and down—licking and circling every veins around the cock to the head to taste the salty pre-cum that leaves his tip. You moan-- clenching your pussy at the feels. He’s tasted so good, making you moan. A very needy one. You spread his legs before you place one of your hands on his firm thigh to give it a soft rub. He moans even louder. What a sound.

The knot and dripping juice from your pussy keeps making you crazy to the point you wanna beg at him to fuck you right now. You don’t care anymore. It’s been 5 days.

“Mmmm, ahh,” the erotic moan fills the room along with the wet slurping sound coming from your mouth. Taking a quick glance at him with your half-closed eyes, you find him staring down at you with a clenched jaw. His eyes has darkened in desire and lust, body got tensed up and raspy grunts keep escaping his mouth. The eye contacts—oh God, this is sexy. He is feeling good. It drives you crazy.

You suck him even harder—going up and down even faster as his cock twitches every time you lick it. He lifts his hip to thrust even deeper to your throat, making you gurgle around his cock head. You can feel he’s coming as it hardened in your mouth but before he could cum on your face, you immediately stop—making him groan in frustrations. A small smile escape your lips as you let the wet saliva drips to your neck. What a messy blow job but for some reason, this is making your pussy stings in cum.

Without taking your time, you take off your short dress—unclasp the bra around your breasts before you place his cock between them. The next thing, you find yourself rubbing your boobs around his length as he grabs your hair to make you go faster.

Taehyung grunts even louder, moaning to the air at the pleasure. He closes his eyes while groaning like a tiger.

“Ah! Mmm, Your cock feels nice, baby,” you moan as you quicken the pace.

“Oh Fucckk, yeah, yeah like that,” he moans as he boob-fucking you. His breath has hitched and trembling before you could feel how hardened he has become.

“Baby...Ahh! I’m....,” you moan.

“I’m so sorry. Forgive me. I miss you,” you say while moaning loud,looking up to his eyes as you pump harder around his huge cock while licking the tip—begging like a needy puppy. Both you and him are humping on each other—probably he is as desperate as you are. Eyes to eyes. Yes, you’re desperate for him. Only him.

“Baby, cum on my face, let me taste you,” you beg before sticking your tongue out—waiting for him to pump his seed all over your face. You know he loves this shit. It’s his favourite kink.

Taehyung grunts, standing up on his feet, pumping his cock for few more times before the white cum plasters all over your face as it keeps coming from the tip. In just few seconds, you swallow the bitter-salty cum greedily, licking every part of them while staring at Taehyung, who is breathing heavily on the bed. He stares at you for few second before running a hand in his messy hair while chuckling playfully.

“Come here,” without letting you calm down, he pulls you closer to him before pinning you down to the bed as he crawls on top of your naked body.

“That was the hottest apology I’ve ever got,” he chuckles while breathing hard as he traces his finger on your torso to your lower abdomen. Soft whimpers leaves your mouth, it makes him chuckle even more.

“Is it accepted yet?” you ask in breathy voice. He frowns while biting down his lower lips.

“I don’t think so. I need more,” he says, holding a smile.

You look at him. He is fucking handsome with those deep eyes, boyish smile. God, you wish he fucks you everyday. He’s look delicious. Especially those lips.

Can’t wait any longer, you take his face in your hands, you pull him for the deepest kiss, sucking his mouth, begging for his touch. He grunts in the kiss—sucking your tongue, biting your lip almost to stain it with blood.

“Fuck me. Fuck me now, Taehyung,” you whimper in the horniest way ever. Whatever he does, he needs to fuck you now.

“I’m still mad at you,” he grunts before he starts rubbing your clit. You yelp in pleasure.

“I don’t care. Fuck me, daddy,”

Taehyung smiles, satisfied. Probably happy that you become this submissive only for him.

“Sure, let’s remind you how good my fingers are inside your damn pussy” he says as he put 2 fingers inside you without warning—making your body jerks in surprise. He starts thrusting his long and thick fingers inside you, twirling and pinching every part of your pussy—making your body bounce every time he fuck your pussy.

A gush of air leaves your lungs as you scream out loud, while you fist in his damp fluffy hair, pulling his face closer to you. Taehyung keeps fingering fuck you while staring down to see how messed up he has made you become. He chuckles and quicken the pace every time you moan his name—telling him to never stop.

“Why? You like it huh?” he hums, rubbing your clit with his thumb while thrusting another 2 finger inside. You see nothing but stars. Moan and moan.

Arched back, rolled eyes, curled toes.

“Ah~~~~Mmm,mmm,” you bite the lower lip to hold the sound. You’re very sure the neighbour know you’re getting fucked tonight.

“I’m coming. Mmm baby, i’m—Ah!”

“Too soon,” Taehyung replies before quicken the pace. The splashing and wet sound from the pussy juice makes his cock hardened as it rubs your inner thigh when he moves. You cry—holding around his arms for support as you’re reaching your climax.

The next second,you cum around his fingers. Your whole body flinches in pleasure, hitched breath fills the space as he pulls his wet fingers out of your pussy and with your own eyes, you saw him licking the juice while staring down at you.

He licks every parts of the fingers without looking away from your exhausted eyes. Your jaw almost dropped when he smiles at you. Holy shit, that is fucking hot. This guy is sickly hot. You don’t understand.

He didn’t stop there.

“Bear yourself, baby. I’m going to fuck you really hard that you know how I fucking despise sharing what’s mine,” Taehyung says as he positions his cock on your entrance while spreading your legs around his waist. Wide, just for him.

What a long night but you’re not complaining. Not at all.

**

Let me know your feedbacks! XOXO

#taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung smut #bts smut #kim taehyung smut #v smut #taehyung fanfic #namjoon #seokjin #jin #j-hope #suga #yoongi #hoseok #jimin #jungkook #taehyung angst #bts imagines #bts fanfics #kpop #taehyung smuts

[totiredtowrite]

hi mann, im here for the matchup event? if im doing it wrong then feel free to ignore lmao

fandom: jjk

three things abt me:

- i startsd using dude and bro as a joke, but i don think its a joke anymore

- im awkwardly tall and im kinda smart but also dumb at the same time, everything else is kinda in the average or above average ngl

- i hate being the center of attention

dynamic:

- i want a dynamic that's like a me thinking the worse of the other bc of their outward personality, but after meeting them i get whiplash and suddenly they're my best friend. a 'Damn i hated u at first but you're actually rlly cool, srry for being judgemental lol'

what i want in a partner:

- i want a partner that would help me during social situations and lead the way bc Anxiety™

who i get along with:

- i get along with ppl who are like, the Opposite of me, outgoing, extroverted, willing to lead or be the center of attention

this took way too long for me to ask but yolo ✌️

Your Match Is

Itadori Yuuji

Why?

Itadori is selfless. He would do almost anything to help others, no matter how deep or shallow their connection is.

He's naturally a leader

Maybe not a good one, but he will try his best to direct attention away from you if you don't want it.

Like I said, he's willing to help with most everything. If you communicate your anxiety to him, he'll do anything to help alleviate that.

🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡

First Impressions

Itadori never really seemed all that interesting to you. In all honesty, his outgoing personality just doesn't sit right with you. That combined with the curse in his body, attention practically follows him everywhere he goes. Being around him just seems... tiring.

To him, however, you're interesting and friend shaped. Despite being pretty average to most, he just stares up at you with stars in his eyes. (Which usually results in you having to awkwardly shuffle around him).

First impressions are a doozy, huh?

🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡

Meeting

Itadori will try his damn hardest to be your friend.

You're in the courtyard?

Well shucks looks like he's there too.

You're walking to or from classes?

You can bet he'll be somewhere nearby, trying to get your attention in a totally non-creepy way.

Eventually it gets to the point where you wonder just what is up with him. He's always lurking around and never saying anything!

So you, being a completely rational guy, decide to confront him about it.

And by confront, you stayed up late into the night trying to figure out how to deal with this huge fucking ball of sunshine.

Which, by the way, was a total bust because Itadori was planning on doing the exact same thing.

The next day, you were mustering up your courage in order to talk to him, but he beat you to it.

You were in the library for whatever reason when he just happily bounds up to you and sits down.

You just look at him and ponder what the hell you've got to say.

Eventually you just settle with "Why are you following me?"

He sputters a bit.

He really didn't intend for it to be creepy or weird, but he supposes that that's how it came across.

"I just noticed that you don't really like hanging around people much," he shyly turned his head away, "So I just kinda wanted to keep an okay distance before saying anything."

Your face went blank. Seriously?

His nature is loud and outgoing, and maybe being around him is tiring.

Even so, the considerate way he tried to keep his distance was kind of heartwarming.

You shrugged and looked back down at whatever you were doing.

"Sure."

How He Is

Itadori will one hundred percent lead for you. If you get nervous ordering something, or there are a ton of people and you're feeling anxious, or if you're just feeling uneasy in general, he'll try his hardest to ease the discomfort. He'll order for you, or draw peoples attention away.

He will lead for you, and that's what makes you two a good fit.

🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡

Honorable Mention

Nobara Kugisaki

#male reader #...event

[thedreadvampy]

after the cbt post I'm really unsure if I even want to apply for counselling now

the whole point of looking for therapy was to get help but if it makes things worse then maybe I should just carry on trying to do it myself?

I don't fuckin know

that was meant to be my out for feeling like this what the fuck do I do now

Like. First off this is about CBT, not about counseling generally, which has been really useful once I've found the right process. I don't know if you're in the UK or not, but while accessing NHS counseling hasn't always been easy and it took a while to find the right fit, when I did get a counselor and approach that fit my needs it jumped my healing forwards by miles, it really can be a lifesaver (plus tbh if you're really deep in the doldrums, it can help just by giving you some structure and space). Don't stop looking for counseling because it absolutely can make a huge positive difference, I don't know where I'd be without the counseling I got from the rape crisis center and the NHS. There's a lot of types of therapy/counselling out there and what works for you isn't something I can predict - for me what I've reacted to best is freeform talk therapy, but other people find that really hard to engage with and prefer more structured or theoretical therapies, and the NHS offer a lot of different ones (they just tend to jump to CBT first).

So, beyond that; some people do find CBT really helpful. But the way the NHS specifically uses CBT is outside its recommended use, which is treatment for OCD, BPD, anxiety and some PTSD symptoms (although not PTSD itself). The NHS basically uses it as a first stop for pretty much all mental health patients as far as I can tell (because, as I say, it's cheap and easy to apply) so, much like most people with MH problems I know have been on Citalopram (which is their first stop SSRI), most people I know with MH problems have been to CBT sessions. And with that range of problems, most of them won't find what they need in CBT, which, again, despite how it's currently used, is not designed as a general purpose treatment but specifically to help manage repetitive thought and behaviour patterns.

For some people, managing thought and behaviour patterns is what they need, at least temporarily. My partner found it very helpful to keep him out of breakdown territory during a hard time, and so have several friends I know (seems to have positive impacts particularly on friends diagnosed with BPD bc BPD diagnostic criteria, which focus on intense reaction and toxic thought spirals, line up really well with what CBT is designed to help with).

I think the way in which it's harmed me and others isn't the actual treatment, but the fact that it's treated as if it Should Work and that can make you feel way worse if everyone tells you 'CBT and mindfulness is a magic cure that fixes all your brain problems' and then it. doesn't. because your specific problem isn't what is designed to fix. and I think that harm is mitigated by knowing that a) what works for you is highly personal even within diagnoses, b) at the time you get CBT you probably don't have a concrete diagnosis beyond Something Ain't Right and c) CBT, even when it's right for you, isn't meant to be the end point.

CBT is, specifically, a stop-gap. It's meant to help you keep going with your life while you sort stuff out. Again, because of budget reasons the NHS kind of hope that your problems won't be too bad so that CBT will give you a good enough stable starting point to sort your own shit out without further support, which does work for some people, but for most of us CBT should be part of a larger treatment journey if used at all. CBT is a bandage - it doesn't close the wound, but where it works it stops you bleeding out long enough to either get to a hospital or for your body to heal itself.

I'm not going to lie to you - for a lot of us, getting through to the point where we're accessing the right treatment can be a slog. And because of how the NHS works, it can mean going to CBT, finding it doesn't work for you, and gritting your teeth through a six session course so you can go back to your doctor and say 'see, this didn't work for me and the CBT people agree, what else ya got?' My partner's just sat through 14 sessions of group therapy he found extremely stupidly designed specifically because sometimes that's what you gotta do to get referred on for one-on-one talk therapy, which is what he actually needs.

Like I say, the harm comes when you're made to feel like you're failing therapy. You don't fail therapy. Therapy that isn't working just isn't the right setup for you for whatever reason and that's not a flaw in you, there is no universal catchall therapeutic method. It's always going to be trial and error and if you are able to hold in mind that you're not Bad for finding a counseling style or methodology unhelpful, off-putting or alienating, then badly-fitted therapy shouldn't be nearly as harmful as trying to struggle on manfully alone.

The hardest but most rewarding part for me was the process of learning that I could just say 'this isn't working for me because XYZ, can we try a different approach' and...nothing bad would happen. I wouldn't lose my access to counseling and nobody shouted at me, and when I said 'this isn't working can we change it'...things got better. I was having an absolutely shit and frustrating time with my NHS counselor, I was finding going to counseling a huge stress, and after stewing for a couple of weeks I blew up and said 'I don't like this, this or this, I feel talked down to when you do this, I don't feel like you're listening to me about this, and this thing you're doing keeps making me feel worse' and he got defensive. but he also. changed his practise immediately. and we ended up having a really fantastic and productive 6 months of counseling and I am in private therapy now but I keep referring back to the work he and I did together because it was so useful for me.

So like the takeaways for me are a) know that the fact that this counseling might suck for you doesn't mean counseling in general won't be helpful, there's always going to be some trial and error to find the right fit, b) if it does suck, don't suffer in silence, tell them! if you're sitting there hating it, they're not getting anything out of that either so just let them know that you're uncomfortable, finding it hard to engage, etc (I know this can be really hard and I know for me I only started being able to push back when I was already a couple of years into my treatment journey but do what you can do to communicate your fears) and c) when it works it works.

Getting counseling that works is a journey. It can be wearing and esoteric and a pain in the ass, and sometimes you just don't click with a therapy and sometimes you just don't click with the counselor, but it is absolutely worth pushing through the bullshit because a) change often happens gradually while you're not looking and b) finding a concept who works for you absolutely can change your life super fast. It took me a couple of tries but when I found a counselor and approach that worked for me I managed within 16 sessions to get out of my house, to get a job I liked for the first time, to go out and meet people for the first time in a city I'd been in for 3 years, and to cut out a lot of the people who were making my life unsafe. It's so worth it but it is a journey that takes time and trial and error, so the sooner you start the sooner you're likely to get somewhere that helps you.

#sorry i went on a lot here i just #i need you to know that counseling is a really broad field and just because one form of counseling might not work for you #doesn't mean it's all useless #you just need to find the right fit for where you're at #and it's extremely worth doing #it doesn't feel like it's getting better all at once #I'm sorry but if you go in with that hope it'll hit you hard #when you find the right fit it'll feel like change is so painfully incremental and slow #but one day you'll suddenly realise you're happier than you've been in years #everyone i know who's been in counseling that's felt productive has had that experience in the first year or so of going #WAIT FUCK IS THIS WHAT NORMAL FEELS LIKE? #like idk if you have SAD but i get this feeling every spring 'wow have i just been miserable for six months wtf? is this what happy is?' #and the healing process feels like that on a larger scale like day to day you barely notice a difference but you look back after a year #and think 'i don't remember what it felt like to never feel like anything would be good again' and you go WAIT! #THAT WAS THE COUNSELING! TFW THERAPY HITS!!! #like there are times it can feel like a slog or like REALLY PAINFUL #the first 6 months i was in therapy i cracked open like an egg i went everywhere i basically had a full on breakdown #but after i came out the other side i was like WAIT FUCK I SEE SUNLIGHT I CAN FEEL JOY AGAIN #and the way you can tell imo is. do you dread counseling sessions? or are you desperate to get to them? #bc. some pain is getting punched and some is relocating a joint. it's needed pain and you know as it's happening that it's needed. #so if it sucks also. think about why it sucks and how you feel about it. #does counseling make you bored angry anxious or frustrated? might not be the right fit #does it feel like cracking open a dam and getting swamped? you might just be going through the pain phase of healing

[noblechaton]

happy new years dudes! 

this post is a sort of run down of my last year or so and rlly it’s just me rambling about my (sometimes gross, warning to all gross-haters out there (like me)) health issues so feel free to look past this

2020 was probably the single hardest most stressful year of my entire life so far and while some reasons are uh. kinda obvious. it sort of especially crunched down on me as it was the first year of my life where I had a persistent health problem for the entire duration

back near the end of 2019 (october 19th I think) I noticed this weird pain in my chest and it scared the heck outta me when it didn’t go away after a few days so I managed to get to go to the doctor for the first time in maybe an actual decade? to try and sort it out bc like on one hand my habits were(/are) bad and the day beforehand I’d been running on a horrid amount of sleep and my only food was bad fast food stuff for breakfast and dinner

anyway the appointments started coming after that as test after test cleared me of. well. anything. there wasn’t really anything weird found after a stress test or uh. this one test where they ran a wand over my body with some goo on it. idk what its called

so naturally I was really just totally lost bc the pain was still there up until around late january?? I think? my memory gets a bit hazy here bc so much had happened but I’m pretty sure that shortly after it faded away (mid february-ish?) I felt normal-ish but then had this awful headache that just straight up wouldn’t go away that lasted a month or so that got so bad I broke down and begged for a hospital despite knowing my bill was outrageous already but I managed to go anyway and got a CAT scan then and an MRI a few days later that turned up nothing again. legit nothing (aside from a kidney stone lol) and just like the chest stuff it faded

some time after that I got really shaky aches and pain sin my wrists and ankles that hurt super bad that I sort of didn’t talk about but at that point at least it was something I could sort of cope with and it eventually stopped after a while (I think this was bc of an antidepressant I was on that I just. immediately stopped taking as a result of the pain) 

but eventually that gave way to what was the worst of it where I spent around 2 months being entirely unable to eat or drink /anything/. I mean anything at all. water of any sort, crackers, it all came back up and. really really sucked. I lost a lot of weight and struggled a lot and I still struggle to talk about this one bc it was so traumatic and I’m terrified of it coming back to this day (I still don’t eat or drink all the stuff I used to eat or drink and maybe never will. I almost entirely avoid dairy of all kinds now which might tie into my current problem??)

obviously I got multiple tests for this. two cameras down my tummy and an emptying study and all of which turned up.............nothing. nothing I didn’t already have anyway. nothing that could be causing it and then of course shortly after the last test, the one that I thought would definitively answer what was wrong with me,(the emptying one), I was so desperate for food that late one night I devoured some awful fried chicken from the grocery store in the middle of the night and fell asleep and the next day I could finally, thankfully sort of eat again. my dad cooked up salmon for me since it’d been in the freezer and I tried it and it mostly stayed down and then from there it stopped happening all together

this one still stresses me out and again I’m fucking terrified of it bc I still have no indication on what it is or was

but that brings me to the last month or two? (which is a good ~4-5 months? from that last thing I think. my perception of time is fucked and filled with me being pricked with fluids and stuff bleugh) which has been mostly this weird discomfort/pain in my left side that’s almost always there (but has faded sometimes) with the occasional awful discomfort uh. between my legs back there. and this awful burping habit where I taste the last thing I ate for a while

this one’s hard to pin down and I haven’t been to a doc for it (yet, I wanna go and get a colonoscopy and even asked about a stool test that one doc said no to?? and plus it’ll probably be even harder now than it was before) and I’ve been on various laxatives (started back when I wasn’t eating as not eating meant getting anything out was uh. difficult) that all sort of dipped in usefulness. lately I’ve been drinking a glass of prune juice every day or two and it seems to do the most help but it’s still there

now this is odd for me bc I’m not even sure I’ve been constipated or anything and there’s a few theories I’ve had that range from me having IBS to it being tied to my body recovering from 2-3 months of not eating or uh. removing waste. to suddenly doing it a lot (this is also my theory on the belching since my neck/throat used to hurt a shitload on account of all the acid and stuff coming back up but it’s sort of slowly felt less bad?). I also sometimes feel super zoned out and foggy but that might just be my bad sleeping

lately I’m sort of wondering if this is maybe all a neurological thing?? or maybe some sort of mental snap caused by stress from my life. it’s been hard for me to consider much else beyond a deep mental issue after so many tests ended up with good results

I’m not smart enough to know for sure but. idk. a year of nearly nonstop bodily pain no matter what I did (exercise, no exercise. eating better, eating worse, etc.) with every single possible test done beyond a select few providing no results has sort of left me as a terrified wreck without anywhere to turn and it just sucks. I’m tired of being so scared of my own body

and all of that on top of. y’know. everything going on in the world. it fucking sucks

last year was real fuckin bad man and I can only try and hope that this year gives myself and everyone else a reprieve at least. a moment to breathe and be consistently happy again. thank u guys for still hanging around me and enjoying the piddly amount of original content I put out. 

I wanna do more for this acc since it, and you guys, got me thru a lot of this last year or so (I even got to see Glaciator in the hospital once lol) and I intend to start streaming myself playing video games over on twitch more often but I can’t make any promises rn. all I can do is hope to continue putting out even the dumbest of posts that y’all might get even a tiny laugh out of

#I needed to vent this post out I haven't talked about any of this in this much depth at all lol #a therapist would be a really nice thing to have. tbh. #till then I'll just keep typing into the blue site ig

[jjuzoir]

A dangerous fellow hc with Zion where mc is hurt bc Zion is choosing Scarlett over her and do mc becomes increasingly brash and charging into danger which worries Zion? It’s a lil complicated sorry haha

Request:

A/N: anonieeee:;; i’m sorry TT it took me sooo long ahh;;; kdjsjsn,,, i hope you like it,,, 😔👉🏻👈🏻

————🌷————

Jealousy | Zion

For a week or so your boyfriend, Zion, had been paying more attention to Scarlett.

Not that big of a deal, right? Yes, you guessed, but at the same time it kind of… hurt you? Maybe not so much the fact he was spending time with the pretty blonde but how pushed back you felt.

He constantly pushed you away with excuses involving her and it got to the point even the other guys thought something was up. Eugene and Harry began hanging out with you, out of what you could only guess was pity.

So, instead of bottling the feelings up any longer you decided to confront him. You knew that keeping the frustration in would only hurt you and the relationship.

So, you gathered all your courage and knocked on his classroom door.

As it slowly opened you were able to take a small peek to find, to much surprise, that it was empty.

You stepped inside quietly and looked around worried, it was already past the established bedtime and Zion was nowhere to be found.

“Zion,” you whispered as you squint your eyes, the blue-tinted room dark from the lack of light source.

No answer.

You felt a headache coming to you as worry washed over you, where could he be? Had he left with- no, he wouldn’t?

“Did he leave with her?” You bit your nails in worry, the thought was irrational no matter from what angle you looked at it but for some reason your distraught mind made it seem like the only rational solution. He had been spending an awfully long amount of time with her.

Your chest felt contacted as if it had shrunk in size and tears blocked your vision; you were scared, standing in his room at night, of losing him. You felt like the relationship was going nowhere, it was stuck in a limbo where neither of you could understand the other, you didn’t want that.

You rub your eyes before turning around and leaving the room quickly, maybe he was just checking up on food? Water? What would he be checking in on anyway!

You hurriedly make your way to your room when you hear a giggle, a girly giggle; Scarlett, soon followed by a deeper laugh… Zion was with Scarlett.

Somehow, the prospect made your chest hurt more than if he had suddenly left. He had chosen her over you, again.

You turn on your heels, it felt like your feet were glued to the ground and you couldn’t move; you felt small. Had Zion regretted being in a relationship with you instead of being with Scarlett?

You gulp down a fat tear before sprinting down the stairs and into the back of the school where you felt your legs give up.

He had been your only comfort for a while, a sign of you not being alone and yet he felt like he was slipping away.

You felt tears rapidly fall down your cheeks as your whole body trembled as you sobbed, before long you felt yourself grow tired and limp; exhaustion soon became present in all of your muscles.

You were sure you were alone, no one was going to be with you anyway- not even your boyfriend stuck with you, but apparently, a zombie would.

You heard a low growl coming from your right, a growl similar to that of a disfigured wolf threatening because you knew what it once was but terrifying of what it had become.

You turn around slowly attempting to move quietly, you squint your eyes trying to find the source of the movement when you catch a glance of a tall silhouette hanging from a tree.

“How did it get here?” You mumbled as you slowly crawl backwards in fear, if you could run fast enough maybe it wouldn’t see you but it was too late as it snapped its neck to face you, burnt skin that had come out of its face and yellow teeth drenched in dried blood became visible as it opened its mouth and screamed.

Adrenaline pumping in your veins your scramble upwards and attempt to run back inside only to trip on a stick and fall face first into the ground,

you were now scratched and bleeding. Your whole body burned as you turned around to see that thing trying to climb down the tree, it didn’t seem to know how so you tried your luck again and forced yourself up and sprinted down the back of the school.

You heard a thud behind you and almost tripped again when you saw it laying on the ground trying to get up; it had a few missing limbs and you could see the flesh and bones where they had been amputated, you were trying your hardest not to puke.

Just as you were about to give up you extend your finger in hopes of finding anything to protect yourself, you feel a cold metal blindly grasp for it; a pole, it was awkwardly cut and it had a sharp edge in the end, and right now it was the only thing you could use to attempt to use for protection.

You use it to try and stand up and quickly change the way you grasp it before awkwardly raising it and hitting it against the floor as a warning, but it didn’t care and only continued getting closer to your panicking form. You raise it again now that it was a bit closer and shove it inside the things neck, blood splattered around the floor and up the metal and you felt your food travel up your throat, just as you were about to repeat the moment you heard someone scream your name.

“What the fuck are you doing-?!” A bush of red hair darted from behind the creature and tackled you in a hug, it was Zion.

“I-I was trying to,” you attempt to form a coherent sentence as he smothered you against his chest.

He looks at you dead in the eyes with worry, it was the first time he had looked at you like that in a while, before turning around to the impaled creature he slowly took the pole out of its neck and shoved it in the chest, not that you could see well with tears forming around your eyes, and just like that it slowly died.

“You were looking for me?” You asked softly.

“I just told you that,” he ruffles his hair annoyed, “why were you out here this late?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know why you’re out here?” Zion raised his eyebrow at you.

“I- yes I know but it’s dumb,” you cough slightly.

“Of course it’s dumb, I can’t think of a single damn reason why you’d willingly walk outside and into a darn zombie,” he looked at you confused, “Just tell me.”

“I-I was,” you take a deep breath as you felt the scars and bumps you got, “I was jealous of- of Scarlett.”

“Jealous of Scarlett?” Zion breathed out confused, he walked over to you with furrowed eyebrows as he laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, I- you were spending so much time with her I-I thought you, maybe, regretted being with me,” you explained shyly, “I tried looking for you to talk it out but- I heard you two hiding or something and I didn’t wanna bother you…”

“S-So instead of waiting you ran here up to a zombie?” He tried to understand your reasoning as you two stood under the bright moon.

“Not really, I just wanted to walk it out and it was there…”

“You could’ve died, you could have died!” Zion whispered to himself before realizing how it could’ve ended, “[Name], are you stupid?!”

“I didn’t mean to but it just happened-“

“You happen to find a coin not try taking down a fuckin’ zombie by yourself! Not even Ethan and I can do that, you’re lucky this bastard had only two days left before becoming fossil fuel!” Zion exclaimed, “You should’ve told me before, you-you should’ve at least waited or something!”

“Waited for what? For you- you to turn me down whenever I try talking to you?” You spit back annoyed, had he not realized how he was pushing you back, “Haven’t you noticed how little time you’ve spent with me? I-I have been trying, Zion, for a week- hell maybe even more- to talk to you about it but you’re always running off with her! So go ahead, dump me and go for her! You spend so much time with her I’m not even sure you’re my boyfriend!”

You felt your chest rise and fall rapidly as you finished your rant, finally getting it all out of your chest. You couldn’t find it in yourself to look him in the eye either tears jam-packed in yours, your hands trembled on your sides as you attempted to calm your heart down.

“Oh?” The red-haired boy whispered, you look up to him and find him standing in front of you, “I-I didn’t know that you felt like that, I-I’m sorry…”

“You should be,” you stutter, “I just need to know, and be honest, is this even gonna work?”

“What? Us? Of course it will, what are ya’ saying?,” Zion was taken by surprise, “This was just a lack of communication, whenever you feel like this again, just tell me… Okay?”

“Fine…”

“And whenever you feel like you need some space or that Scarlett’s hogging me up,” he approaches you slowly before hugging you tightly, “Don’t be a fucking idiot and tell me.”

“Sure,” you hug him back. Even if he was rough around most edged, even if he had a hard time reading the signs you dropped- he could be nice, yeah… he could be.

#—🎀 defel! #dangerous fellows #defel #dangerous fellows zion #zion #defel zion #zion x reader #defel zion x reader #—📨 request #—💌 mysterious messenger! #—✒️ sora’s scripts

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

im not an anon but HI : ) what if aphrodite wasnt able to postpone the ritual to turn MC into Hera and by the time she managed to get alex up to olympus it was too late to stop it and they have to watch the love of their life become a stranger in her own skin : )))

FUCK MEG YOU GOT ME IN MY FEELINGS. Btw, I took it as in she died because...I think when you become the goddess the soul that originally was there dies?? And I didn’t know how to write it any other way so yEAH ITS SAD AND MIGHT NOT BE GOOD IDK. Also I made this so longer and so much MORE THAN IT HAD TO BE HOPE YOU LIKE IT BC ITS SAD AND LONG KEWNNSN.

Also, I’m waiting for that post on why Alex is your favorite LI part 2 because I desperately need some fluff.

She tried. She really did. But no matter what favors she threw at the gods and goddesses...she couldn’t save the one she and her child both loved. She was so angry at Zeus they once they grabbed MC and put her on Hera’s throne, getting ready for the ritual, she let her power out and tried to fight Zeus himself. She knew it was dangerous, but she couldn’t help it. She promised to protect her and she loved her and tried her hardest. But she was held back by some other gods and goddess.

And then the doors to the throne room were slammed wide open. A figure that everyone knew ran in to the middle of the room. It was Alex. MCs beloved and the person who would fight for her, even if it killed them. Zeus instantly got them held back with their mother, tired of being interrupted. However, his brother, Hades also had a say in this. But he was held back too. However, Zeus did look at them three with sympathy. “I’m sorry, but we know it has to be done,” he said, anger in his voice with sympathy at the same time. Alex shook their head. “No! It doesn’t have to be like this, please!” Their voice sounded so raw it caused MCs tears to fall even harder as she knew this was the end for her. Hades spoke out as well, his voice shaking with the effort to stay calm and be the mediator he always tried to be. “Zeus, please think about this,” he shouted but it sounded like a whisper to Zeus’ ears. Zeus faltered for a second, but then shook his head and carried through the ritual.

The last words that were shouted from MCs mouth before the ritual were, “I’m sorry Alex! I love you!” Then, way too soon....the ritual was over. MCs body was leaned to her side on the throne. But it was no longer MC’s body...and it was no longer MC there. “NO!” Alex shouted, tears flowing even harder down their cheeks. It wasn’t fair. They feel like everyone knew it, but refused to acknowledge it. The anger held back for so long finally spilled out. “What the hell is wrong with you?! Killing an innocent woman for your own greed!” They shouted to the king himself, not caring of his status.

But Zeus wasn’t paying attention, he didn’t care. He just stared at MCs body with a little bit of excitement. “Hera?” He whispered. MCs body leaned up and sat up straight. This movement confirmed Alex’s worst fear.

Hera was back...MC was gone.

But what made it worse is that she still looked like MC. Her face was MC and it’s what made it hurt so bad. But when Hera opened her eyes, they noticed her eyes were a different color...but it still looked like MC. Hera didn’t even look at Zeus or anyone. She looked straight at Alex and tears fell down her face. She choked out, “I’m sorry.” But that made Alex fall down to their knees.

It sounded like MC, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t the women that they had loved for their whole life. She was gone but she was right there in body. They cried harder than they have ever cried in their life, not able to be ashamed or embarrassed. They suddenly felt one hand on each of their shoulders. They looked up and saw Hades on their right side, on his knees next to Alex, and their mother, Aphrodite, on her knees beside them as well. They noticed that they both had tears on their face. They both cared for MC and to see her meet her end like this pained them both.

They could faintly hear Hera’s choked sobs as well. It pained them even more because, once again, it sounded like MC. All they ever wanted to do was to keep tears off of MCs face, but now they didn’t know what to do. They were helpless. Now they couldn’t feel her, touch her, comfort her, or kiss her anymore. They couldn’t do anything to her anymore. They’d just have to wait for their end to see her again.

Zeus tried to reach for Hera but everyones attention was brought to Hera when she swatted his hand away, the sound echoing loudly in the throne room. Zeus looked in shock but also understanding. “I’m sorry, Hera, for everything.” Hera still looked at him with anger. “YOU RUINED SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE JUST TO FIX YOURS?! YOUR LIFE WAS RUINED BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN MISTAKES, Zeus.” She spitted his name out with venom. It caused everyone to flinch. Her aura was surrounding her body and her eyes seemed to glow bright yellow with her anger rising.

Alex didn’t blame her. They were angry as well, but they still didn’t dare to raise their voice like that at the king of all kings. Zeus was shocked at Heras anger and didn’t know what to say in return. He stood there in shock and a daze as Hera stared daggers at him filled with anger and hatred. He suddenly did begin to feel remorse and guilt for what he did. “I-I didn’t think,” he stated, but Hera cut him off at the end. “IT DOESNT MATTER, ZEUS! YOU RUINED ONE OF YOUR OWN KINDS LIFE JUST TO MAKE YOURS EASIER WITHOUT THINKING OF THEM!” Everyone stood there and listened to her. No one interfered because, well, she was right. She was the only one brave enough to do it. “YOU ARE SELFISH AND SUCH A BAD KING, ZEUS. NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU OVER THESE YEARS. YOU MAY MAKE GOOD DECISIONS, BUT YOUR BAD DECISIONS IS WHAT RUINS YOU. DO YOU NOT SEE THAT?!”

Hera, our of anger, took her ring off of MCs—her finger and threw it on the ground, hard. This caused it to shatter. A bright light flashed around the room and everyone closed their eyes. Once the light was gone, MCs body was on the floor, now inhabited by no one. No soul...nothing. Alex got up off the ground and ran to MCs body laying on the Olympus floor. They got back on their knees and held her in their arms. “MC...” they whispered out. They couldn’t believe this happened. ‘Why did it have to happen?’ They asked themselves over and over again.

MCs body was buried next to her mothers and she received a hero burial as well. This time, Alex wept beside their mother. Josh was invited and if he didn’t like the gods before, now he hated them. But hated Zeus most of all. He refused to look at him during the funeral, and if he did, the look was full of anger and rage. No one knew what was holding him back from tackling him and hurting him like Zeus had hurt him twice now. Zeus didn’t look anyone in the eye either. He realized he had just repeated the cycle. MCs mother and now MC herself. He realized that Hera was right...he was a bad king.

MCs death brought realization upon everyone. Zeus most of all. He decided to do better in the future and apologized for MCs mothers death and MC herself. It was sincere and everyone noticed it. It was the same kind of tone he used with Deukalion. The thought of Deukalion worsened Alex’s sadness because they remember they fought Deukalion with MC. They wouldn’t have even saved their mother without MC. “This wasn’t how things were supposed to happen, I’m sorry, my little heart,” she told Alex as she held them during the funeral. They never blamed her. They know she tried, but their trying wasn’t good enough.

Nothing seemed good enough for Zeus.

Years passed but nothing ever eased their pain. Nothing ever eased Aphrodites pain as well. She had lost her best friend and then her best friends child who she loved so much. It was so much pain just within 10 years of each other. It wasn’t fair, but everyone kept going. Alex was depressed for a long time. Over a year exactly. They stayed inside and didn’t dare go to H.E.R.A. They didn’t know if they’d be able to handle passing her desk knowing that she’s not not there for that day, but knowing that she will never be back for a long time. Sometimes they wake up with their heart racing and their breath coming too fast. It was a panic attack from their dream. Their dream is almost always the same or they don’t dream at all.

The dream consists of Alex on Olympus with the gods surrounding them. However, they didn’t see their faces. They were all just black silhouettes. They were all surrounding Heras throne, but it wasn’t empty anymore. But they turned to the side and saw 2 black figures struggling against some arms around them. They knew it was their own mother and Hades themselves. They were angry and Alex just heard different voices and shouts surrounding them. It hurt so much, but what happened next hurt more. Two more black silhouettes walked in the throne room, carrying a woman but she wasn’t silhouetted. It’s as if the dream really wanted them to know it was her to make them suffer more. MC in the dream looked towards them as she passed them. She struggled against the black silhouettes. Alex tried to reach for her, but the arms holding them back were like stone. She then was placed upon Heras throne, arms stuck on the sides. But she was leaning forward and calling out to Alex. “Alex! Please! HELP ME!” Then figures got in front of her and blocked their vision of her. But then it all went black and they would always wake up to the sound of her screams, echoing out in to the darkness before they woke up to their ceiling.

Then, years after her passing, Alex still thought of her. They never forgot about her and loved her and thought about her daily. They visited her grave everyday and it hurts them. But they talked to her and talked to her mother as well. Hoping that they are together and being happy together. They experienced joy every now and then, but they still missed MC and the happiness they could’ve had all of their life with MC. But no...fate didn’t work like that. Fate was cruel to them and they just...they’re in so much pain.

But then one day, Alex was called to Olympus. It had been around 4 years since MC’s death. They had gone back to Olympus and H.E.R.A knowing MC would want them to. They went to Aphrodites estate and was met with a smile. “Good morning, my little heart,” she told them hugging them as soon as they got in. However, she still noticed the little emptiness in their voice and in their eyes, and Alex still saw the emptiness in Aphrodites eyes as well. But once Aphrodite pulled back, she got straight to the point. There was a bit of excitement in her eyes. “Alex, I felt her again,” she told them. They looked at her with confusion. “Who?” A smile appeared on her face and a tear fell out of her eye.

“MC. She’s back.”

Bitches I’m gonna do a PART 2 BC THIS IS LONG AND I’D JUST RATHER CONTINUE IT ON AN ACTUAL POST AND NOT AN ASK BC YOU ONLY ASKED FOR HERA ANGST NOT ALL OF THIS SO...if you wanna see the rest wait for my part 2 lol.

#astoria fates kiss #alex cyprin #astoria fates kiss alex #afk #my writing #honestly #I was struggling #but by the length #its obvious that I found the inspiration and my mind was like #‘KEEP GOING KEEP GOING’ #but nO #Im gonna do a part 2 and tag you in it as well🥺 #thanks for the ask🥺❤️❤️ #love youuuu🥺❤️ #but yES #I am waiting for that post on why Alex is your favorite LI part 2 #sorry I just need fluff and happiness from all of the sad AUs #but no rushing #just a joke lol #but I am waiting👀👀