#need to start saying fuck it idc about a lot more things than hair
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i cut more of my bangs today
#i fear i've lost the plot#it looks nicer than it did yesterday though#buying hair dye tomorrow...#see i've always been scared to change my hair too much#but once you make one mistake it becomes so much easier to just say fuck it#yeah sure cut your own side bangs#yeah dye your hair by yourself for the first time ever#its only hair#need to start saying fuck it idc about a lot more things than hair
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What You Need
no outbreak!neighbor!joel miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈6.3k
Summary: You come home from a horribly stressful day at University to everything in your family home a complete mess only for you to take care of. Joel helps you and gives you exactly what you need.
Warnings: SUUUPER self indulgent (sorry guys - it makes for a good plot tho, so i’m not all that sorry <3). no use of “y/n”, age gap (22/42), LATINO JOEL MILLER (idc what anyone says, he needs a warning), established relationship, no physical descriptions of reader, pet names (darlin’, sweet girl, pretty girl, princess, etc.), reader “takes care of everyone but who takes care of her” plot, more porn than plot lol, [SMUT 18+ MDNI] daddy kink, sir kink, heavy on the D/s dynamic (reader falls into subspace), cockwarming, unprotected piv (don’t be like these 2 idiots), breeding kink, cum eating, creampie, finger fucking, finger sucking (briefly), choking, hair pulling, brief thoughts about anal, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, hickeys/marking kink, squirting!, toy use, fluffy ending… i think that’s it?? (dear lord pls forgive me, for i have sinned) if i missed anything, lmk pls!
Quick lil author’s note (see bottom for extended a/n): In all honesty, I wanna dedicate this (nasty) little one shot to @javierpena-inatacvest because if it wasn’t for our interactions as of late plus reading your “It’s Never Too Late” fic, I never would’ve said fuck it and just start writing with the intention of potentially showing it to the world. Thank you for inspiring me. You’re amazing & I literally love u so so much. You deserve phenomenal head all the love in the world for everything you do <3.
MAIN MASTERLIST || ONESHOT COLLECTION
It was a long day at university today, as per usual, but something about today completely drained you.
You went to bed past midnight last night because you were busy finishing up a paper, only to get up at 7am the next morning to spend the next 13 hours juggling between classes, assignments, and studying in your “free” time. By the time you were ready to head back home, you were on your very last thread, begging to snap. You also completely spaced on nourishing your body today, the only thing running through it being water and coffee — lots of coffee.
That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that the minute you entered your family home, the entire house was an absolute mess, your pets weren’t given their food yet, and no dinner was made. And just like every other day since you grew into an acceptable height to reach the kitchen stove, you took care of it. All of it.
You were so grateful to your family for allowing you to stay at home during your undergraduate years. It makes your in-state tuition even cheaper, and you get the comfort of your own bed. You knew not many people could rely on their parents and family like this, so you don’t want to sound selfish when you think about how you really wish you had your own place right about now.
It’s been an hour and a half since you've been home, and you’re barely finishing up getting the food for your dogs when your phone dings in your back pocket.
Didn’t text me when you got home, baby. Everything okay?
It was from Joel. The neighbor directly across from you, and a quickly growing family friend of yours. Your heart both saddens at the fact that you forgot your unspoken ritual, but it swells at the way he can read you.
It all began at a small family party last year. You were 21 at the time, and for some reason you could not take your eyes off of your neighbor — who was 20 years your senior. It was always just shared glances or you bringing baked goods from your stress-baking endeavors, but at that party, there was a good period of time where your entire family went outside to the bonfire in the backyard to drink until their hearts gave out, leaving you with the dishes and a trashed house to clean. Joel noticed this, how much they relied on you. Whether it was coming over for a beer with your brothers or your father, or to fix an appliance for your older sister, they always walked all over you — when you did absolutely everything for them. So, he took matters into his own hands and went inside to help you clean up.
You insisted he didn’t need to, but you knew he wouldn’t let up. So, there, you two worked, harmoniously, straightening up your home in half the time it would normally take you by yourself. The second you completed the last task, you reached for the remote and plopped yourself on the couch, half expecting Joel to go back outside with your family. Except, he plopped himself on the couch right next to you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen, “What are we watchin’, darlin’?”
“You know you could’ve stayed outside with everyone else, Miller,” you say as you turn your body to him with an eyebrow quirked up. He matches your expression, “Well, where’s the fun in that?”
You break into a breathy little giggle, satisfied with his comeback, and you turn on the TV. With your family completely occupied outside, it was easy for either of you to make a move. And although Joel had been planning to for the last few months before this party, you took matters into your own hands and lifted his arm closest to you, tucked yourself into his side and pulled his arm back around your body. He looked down at you, smirking at your boldness while your eyes remained fixed on the movie before you.
The next few hours of the night were filled with secret caresses and stolen kisses, and you have never felt more loved and appreciated in your life. From then on, you’ve been absolutely smitten with him, and he with you.
Instead of replying, you dial him instead. Not even a third ring goes by before he answers, “Baby.”
“Oh my god, hi, baby, I’m so sorry. I completely spaced. The minute I got home, the house was a mess, the dogs weren’t fed yet, dinner wasn’t even cooked, and I-”
“Mi amor,” he says with a deep breath, implicitly telling you to take one, “it’s okay, baby. I don’t wanna hear sorry from you. I’m sorry everythin’ is a mess, baby. Can I help? Need me to come over?”
Your rapid heart rate immediately starts to slow at how calming, ready and willing he is to give you anything you need. Your family would go absolutely insane if Joel just showed up right now with the sole intention of helping you take care of the home and yourself, but you don’t mention that. “No, baby, I promise I’m okay. I just need to relax. I need-” you pause for a moment to take another breath because you feel your body going panicky again. “I need…honestly, I just need you.”
After the shitty day you’ve had today, having to take control of every single thing, honestly all you really want, and need, right now is for your control to be taken away. You don’t want to think, you don’t want to decide, and you don’t even want to figure out your dinner even though you haven’t eaten all day.
He pauses for a moment, hearing the slight whine at your last statement. And just like that, Joel is at your rescue. “You need me, huh, babygirl?”
“Mhm, please.”
“Cross the street, darlin’, right now,” and he hangs up the phone.
You bolt out of your seat, and sprint straight to the front door, quickly locking it. You think to say something on the Ring camera, letting your family know you’ll be back, but you know they won’t even think twice at your absence. You already cleaned the house and took care of the animals they begged for but don’t care for — why else would they look for you?
Just in case they do check the cameras, however, you immediately veer to the left side of your driveway into the blind spots of your front door.
Within seconds, you’re at his door about to knock, but he’s already opening the door, whispering a soft hi followed by your name, and pulling you into a tight embrace. He pulls you away for a second, assessing your face, assessing your needs. He sees your brows pulled together, eyes glossed over, and a pout beginning to form. You don’t need soft and comforting. You need stern, dominating control. You need nothing but pure bliss, and he’s going to give that to you. But first:
“Safe words. Repeat em’.”
“Red for hard stop, yellow if I’m starting to get uncomfortable, and green to keep going.”
“That’s my girl,” he says and finally pulls you in for that rough, all-consuming kiss you’ve been craving. It’s a battle of teeth and tongue, and obviously he wins. His hands are roughly sliding down to the underside of your asscheeks, tightly pulling you into his hardening bulge. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, but pause for a moment because he never gave you permission to. He senses that, and pulls back for just a moment. “Such a good fuckin’ girl for me. Go ‘head, baby, touch me.”
You immediately bring your arms back up to grab ahold of him but too riled up in how he’s making you feel, you don’t notice the huge grumble your empty tummy makes. He pulls both your wrists back from his neck and puts an insufferable amount of space between you two.
He says your name, filled with both concern and slight anger. “When was the last time you ate?”
Silence.
He lets go of your wrist and grabs your chin between his pointer and thumb, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’m not askin’ again, baby.”
“Y-yesterday night,” you stumble out.
“I’m not givin’ you a heavy meal ‘cause that’ll just upset your stomach, but I am fixin’ you somethin’. Go upstairs, change into the clothes on the bed, come back down and position yourself on the ottoman, like I taught ya last week, hm?”
Too enamored by his roughly smooth voice, all you can muster up is a nod. His eyebrow barely shifts, but that’s all a warning you need. “Yes, sir.”
Padding up into his room, already feeling your insides start to float, you reach the edge of his bed to see a pair of black cheeky boxers, and a thin, fitted black tee. You quickly strip off everything you arrived here in and slip on the garments he gave you. Wasting no time, you head back down in a bee line to the ottoman.
Like I taught ya last week, hm?
His words echo in your mind as you begin to recall last week’s endeavors.
You were straddling his lap for a while now, slowly swallowing each other’s moans and making every part of each other’s body ingrained into your memories. Until suddenly he pulls back, eyes dead set with intention. “You trust me, baby?”
“Always, Joel,” you say back with as stern a voice as possible, confused as to why he’d ask such a thing. “Can I teach you somethin’, then, darlin’?”
You pull him into one more kiss before you breathily tell him yes and pull yourself off his lap to stand before him, fully at his disposal.
He stands up, and without any verbal indications, he’s grabbing onto you and molding your body onto the ottoman in a position that begins to drift you off into subspace. You don’t know if it’s the fact that you're sitting on your knees with your legs tucked under you, or if it’s the slow drag of his hands caressing your inner thighs, pulling them farther apart from each other. Or maybe it’s the way he softly places your hands, palms up, atop of your thighs. Whatever the hell it is, you absolutely fucking love it.
He feels you melting into every little touch he makes and he notes every little moment you slip further and further into your space. “Doin’ okay, my sweet girl?” he asks, voice dark and sweet.
All you can pull out of yourself is a pathetic little whine and a head nod.
“This is position number one. Remember it. We’ll learn more later, but this’ll do just fine for a while, baby.”
And with that, he kisses you ever so softly but with such a dominating, addictive energy that you feel yourself try to push up into him, and immediately he pulls away.
“Sweet girl, Imma let it slide this time, but you do not move from this position unless given permission. Ya hear?”
You return to your original position and assure him how good you’ll be, “Won’t happen again, daddy, I promise.”
His jaw clenches at the honorific; that’s your number one tell that signifies you’ve completely submitted and fallen into subspace. He had originally planned on giving you what you asked for two days ago — “Please, Joel, I need you to fuck me, hard.” — but seeing you all docile and ready for him just makes him want to absolutely praise you in the most beautiful ways possible.
So that’s what he did. For hours. An hour of bending you over the ottoman to eat your pussy like a man who had all the time in the world, an hour of fingering orgasm after orgasm out of you while his mouth switched between licking and marking your tits, and a few hours after that just slowly fucking you into his mattress, caressing and loving on every single part of your body he could reach.
Let’s just say, your family didn’t see you for the rest of that day or the next, and you did not care one fucking bit.
You shuffle onto the ottoman, your form now perfected after secretly practicing each night to increase your endurance of staying in such a position for however long Joel needed you to.
You wait for about five more minutes before he comes back with a platter of all of your favorite fruits — strawberries, mangoes, and pineapple — and sits on the cushioned seat right in front of you. He melts at how good you sit for him, immediately disregarding his original plan and wanting you as close to him as possible.
“My good, beautiful girl,” he says softly, in a way that you’re not sure if it was even meant for you to hear, but you still melt nonetheless. “Come,” he says as he pats his lap while setting the plate off to the table beside him.
You shoot up like a lightning bolt, too excited at the thought of being able to feel him again, but before you can climb up, he grabs your hips, stopping you for a second. He slides his fingers into the hem of your underwear and slowly slides them completely off of you, setting them neatly on the ottoman behind you. He slowly reaches for his belt, then slides it off, letting it fall somewhere on the ground. You stand completely still, patiently waiting for whatever he’s going to give you, although your pussy is proving anything but patient.
He undoes the button and zipper of his jeans and signals for you to come up. “Take me out, cariño.”
You climb up on his thighs, not fully straddling him to give yourself some room to tug his jeans and boxers down enough to pull him free. You pull him free with a small moan escaping your lips, wanting to dart your tongue out and lick his angry tip, but he didn’t give his permission for that. So, you begrudgingly let him go, and wait for what comes next.
“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he states nonchalantly as if his dick isn’t absolutely begging for you to reach out and grab it. “You’re gonna sit on my cock, keep me nice and warm. Without moving. Only until you’ve eaten all the fruit on this plate will I think about what’s gonna happen next. Got it?”
Your voice trembles, “Y-yes, sir.”
He nods his head, while bringing his hand up to your mouth, signaling for you to let your drool fall. You scoot closer and lift your hips up while he pumps himself a few times to completely cover himself in your spit. With how much your cunt is dripping, you knew his lewd act was for his benefit and his only.
The second his tip catches at your entrance, you can’t control the high-pitch whine that falls from your mouth, and he can’t stop himself from gripping your hips with a bruising force in an attempt to keep from mercilessly pounding up into you right here.
“So f-fucking full,” you breath out as you sink lower and lower, to which he nearly growls with a strained, “So fucking tight.”
You finally bottom out, and you both take a moment to breathe and settle any impulsive thoughts of forgetting the purpose of tonight’s scene. You shift a little to adjust to settle your legs more comfortably at his sides, while he leans over to bring your plate of fruit closer. Both your actions together make you hiss in desperation.
“Color, baby?”
“Green, sir, green,” you promise him.
He smiles, genuine and bright, before his face goes dark and smug again. He picks up a piece of pineapple with his fingers. “Open.”
You lean in and take the sweet fruit from his fingers, making sure to lick any residual of the pineapple’s sweet juices. This goes on until you’ve finished every last piece he cut for you. Towards the last few pieces, your pussy was absolutely drenching his cock with your slick, both your thighs and his soaked. He could feel every pulse and every flutter, and no matter how patient he usually was, something in the air tonight was testing every ounce of his strength.
He sets the plate aside and licks a mix of fruit juices and your spit clean off his fingers. You watch him, completely entranced by the way his tongue wraps around his thick fingers, and you can’t help but feel such an aching need to throw yourself at him.
So you do. And to your surprise, he allows it. You pull both his arms to wrap around your middle and you push yourself into him for a searing kiss, whimpering for him to slip you his tongue. He indulges, and you immediately begin grinding your hips down onto his cock. He growls and wraps his arms tighter around you, adding more pressure into your grind, forcing you to break the kiss to regain your breath. “Fuck, baby. Such an impatient little one, aren’t ya?” He rasps out.
Your hips move faster at his words, trying to will yourself to say something, anything, but you can’t. He notices your effort. “It’s okay, I’ve got you, baby, hm?”
And with that — with the notion that he’ll take care of you with anything you need — you completely fall. “Y- yes,” you moan out, “Da- fuck- daddy’s got me.”
Ah, there she is. Daddy’s girl. His back straightens so he’s towering over you more. He grabs your jaw tightly while you continue to pleasure yourself on his dick, forcing you to hold his stare. “Oh, sweet girl, daddy’s always gonna give ya what ya need. Promise, baby. Now be the good little girl I know you are and cum for me.”
You can feel him meet every movement of your hips, coaxing your high out of you faster than you realize. The wet, squelch your pussy makes every time you suck him in is enough to make him release his load, but he won’t. Not until you’ve came more times than ever before, not until you’re left completely fucked dumb.
He snakes his hand down to the front, reaching for your clit, using his thumb to make mind-numbing, calculated circles. Your back arches at the sensation, head thrown back, and he brings his other free hand to the back of your neck to pull you closer into him. He ravishes your neck all over, sucking and biting all your weak spots, your pulse points, only to run his tongue over it in soothing motions, getting even more worked up at the marks that’ll form tomorrow. Then, he rips your shirt right in half, letting it fall to the ground. So much for makin’ you change, he thinks. He brings his mouth lower and lower, sucking one of your nipples in between his teeth, throwing you over the edge.
Your vision goes white, your entire body goes rigid, and your pussy uncontrollably flutters around his dick as he peppers your neck and chest with more kisses while you come back down.
Your body is now soft and pliant, fully ready for whatever more Joel is going to give you. Your head is still high up in the clouds, and it will be for a while, but he always knows how to take care of you. You feel him slowly lift you off his dick and you hear him groan as he looks down.
“God fucking damn, doll, look at you all over me. Such a fuckin’ mess.”
Your face heats up immediately, “I- I’m sorry, daddy, I-”
He grabs your jaw again and pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, all teeth and tongue. He pulls away bringing your bottom lip with him until he lets go, letting it fall back into place, now wet with his spit. “Don’t fuckin’ apologize for that. You made daddy so proud, baby. So much so that you’re gonna do it again for me,” he says as he squeezes your ass cheek.
You squeak out a gasp and a breathy please. He stands up and makes his way to his bedroom with you still wrapped around him like a koala.
Immediately he throws you on the bed, and before you’re able to scramble up towards the pillows, he’s already pushing you up by the thighs and kneeling between your spread legs.
He releases one thigh for a quick second and holds his hand out, “Pillow, baby.” It takes your blissed mind one moment to register, but as soon as it does, you don’t waste a second, grabbing the pillow next to your head and eagerly handing it to him. He takes the pillow and taps your thigh twice, signaling for you to lift up. He secures the pillow under your hips then brings both his large hands back to the underside of your thighs, pushing your legs up so you’re nearly folded in half, giving him complete access to your dripping heat.
If there’s one thing about Joel Miller, it’s that he loves to make a fucking mess. You thought your first sensation would be one flat lick up your cunt, but instead you feel warmth. Wet and warm and everywhere, and finally you realize, he let his mouth fill with spit only to absolutely drench you with it. Once he’s satisfied with his mess only then does he dive into you like a man starved. Licking and pushing into your slit while the tip of his nose rubs against your clit has you climaxing in an instant, your back arching and your hips lifting as much as they can with the weight of his hands on your thighs keeping you in place.
He lets one hand slowly slide off your thigh and up your belly until he reaches one of your tits, switching between grabbing your entire breast and pinching your nipple. He continues to lick at you and circle your clit with his tongue until you’re a complete whining mess from the overstimulation. “Daddy, please,” you moan.
He lifts his head, eyes as black as ever, “I’ve got you, princess, you can take it.” He reluctantly breaks away from your cunt and kisses his way up your body, taking his time with sloppy, open mouthed kisses near your hip bone and your sternum, knowing those areas drive you crazy the most. He makes sure to bite a little extra hard in some areas on his journey up, knowing you love to admire all the marks and bruises he makes on you.
He sucks another bruise right underneath your jaw, making you push up into him more, while his hands continue to wander and grasp every part of your body that he can. Finally he reaches your mouth and gives you a sweet, long kiss to your mouth, distracting you enough that you don’t see him reach for the vibrator in the nightstand beside the bed. You feel him slide his hand back down your body, but you still don’t realize the vibrator’s presence until you feel the buzz directly on your clit.
Out of pure reaction, your hand flies to the nape of his neck and tugs sharply, all while obscenities fall pathetically from your mouth, “Oh- f-fuck, daddy, yes! J-just like that, please, please don’t stop…” The quick-paced, blinding pleasure builds so fast it cuts off your dirty mouth and reduces you down to moans and gasps and whines of daddy, daddy, daddy.
He slips two fingers into your pussy, sliding in with so much ease with how wet you are from a combination of your cream and his spit, all while he uses his other hand to push the vibrator into your bundle of nerves.
You don’t know whether it has been one minute or one hour of this, but all you know is that you’ve got sweat lining your forehead, beading down your body, and you absolutely can’t take the buzzing pleasure with the constant come-here motion with his fingers anymore, you have to let go. Although this time, it feels different than the rest of the times Joel has made you cum. This time… this time it feels like- you have to pee?
Immediately you start to panic and try to break away from his hold, unable to allow yourself to fucking pee all over him. “Daddy, wait! Please stop.. it- it feels different, like I.. I think I’m gonna pee..” you gasp, trying to articulate your thoughts while he continues his torture on your cunt.
His eyes go wide and it immediately registers for him, “Fuck, baby, don’t worry about that, just let go. Come on, daddy’s got you. You trust me?”
You hesitate for a moment, but still, you know the answer, “Y-yes, daddy.”
“Good, my princess. Cum for me, fuckin’ soak me. I told you I wanted another fuckin’ mess,” he demands and fucks you even harder with his fingers and increases the pressure of the vibrator.
You all but scream, definitely sure the neighbors can hear you, but you don’t give a fuck with the fireworks erupting behind your eyes and all throughout your body. Your body is still convulsing and you’re sure you’ve gone unconscious for a moment, but what brings you back to the Earth is the feeling of a warm, flat tongue licking you all over, cleaning you up. Then another sensation hits you: your bottom half is completely fucking drenched. You muster up all the strength you can to open your eyes and look down to see what’s going on.
You see your big, broad man licking you up so sweetly, but from his mouth down he is also absolutely soaked, down to the collar of his dark green shirt he was wearing.
Holy fuck. You fucking squirted. That was new. And with Joel’s reaction to it, you’re definitely sure that’s not gonna be the last time he pulls that out of you.
He doesn’t realize you’re up again until you’re softly calling his attention back up to you and not your pussy. He makes eye contact with you, and his eyes fucking sparkle. Yeah, there’s no way this was a one time kind of thing. He sits back up on his haunches and strips himself of his shirt. He never pulled his jeans back up from when you used him to get off in the living room, so his dick has been patiently waiting for attention since your last two orgasms.
He strips himself completely at the bottom half, too, leaving you with a perfect view of his toned chest, softer middle, and bulging arms and shoulders. Your cunt, all used and abused, fucking clenches on nothing at the naked sight of him. Of course, he fucking notices.
“Oh, my poor baby. She’s just fuckin’ beggin’ to be filled, huh?” His southern drawl always intensifies whenever he gets spurred on like this. And, fuck, if it doesn’t make you fold more than you already do.
You whine at his words and spread your legs even wider for him to see what’s rightfully his.
“Just beggin’ to get pumped full of my fuckin’ cum, huh, princess? Is that what she wants? That what my babygirl wants?”
“Please, daddy! Yes, that’s what I- what I need, daddy… need you ins- fuck- need you inside, daddy,” you ramble out, already fucked stupid but still begging for more. He situates himself on top of you, stopping your begging with a harsh kiss that leaves your already swollen lips throbbing. “Shhh, I’m gonna give you what you need, darlin’,” and he kisses you one more time as he begins to notch his tip at your entrance.
He hooks his arm underneath your knee, hiking your one leg up higher to open you completely. You feel him start to push in deeper, and neither of you can help the initial gasp of how good it feels to be consumed by one another. He leans down again to kiss you, unable to get enough of your lips on his, and you bring your hand back up to the back of his head, keeping him close to you, feeling the exact same way.
He completely bottoms out into you then, his breathing labored and you, a whimpering mess. No matter how many times you two have fucked, his sheer size always makes you feel like it’s the first time. He stays still to let you get used to the feeling again. You both lay there for a few minutes, kissing and consuming each other’s breaths and moans while he gives you rhythmic little grinds to stimulate your clit. Your pussy is sobbing at this point, enough wetness has accumulated that he’s able to slide right out until just the tip is in you and he pushes right back in, hard.
He fucks you hard, maintaining this rhythm for a while, completely consumed by the way you wrap around him so perfectly. What started off as one leg hiked up around him turned into a complete mating press, giving you the maximum sensation of his length and girth pumping in and out of you. He always gets so foul-mouthed whenever you two end up in this position, not that you’d ever complain because you love hearing that rough, sexy Southern drawl utter absolute filth that only your ears will ever get to hear.
“Fuck, darlin’, it’s like she was fuckin’ made for me. Wrapped around my cock, so fucking tight and warm. I could spend fuckin’ forever here wrapped up in your tight fuckin’ cunt,” he groans.
“All for you, daddy, always,” you respond, purposefully squeezing your pussy tight in time with your words. That drives him absolutely fucking crazy that he pulls his arm upwards in between your legs that are resting on his torso and brings his hand up to wrap around your throat. “Say it again,” he growls, “tell me who the fuck this pussy belongs to, baby.” He squeezes the sides of your neck tighter, creating an even lighter sensation in your head coupled with the submissive daze you’ve been in since you got here.
“F-fuck, d-daddy- shit,” you can’t focus on anything but the way he feels wrapped around your neck while balls deep inside of you.
“Darlin’ girl,” he warns, “don’t make me repeat myself.”
You sob out, willing your body to respond to him, willing your body to obey, “Th- this pussy belongs t- to-“ you take a breath, “to you, daddy, only you. Forever.”
He releases your throat and pulls your legs down from the mating press, wrapping them around his waist instead. He places one hand at the back of your head and the other on the headboard, then kisses you furiously before breaking away, “God damn f-fuckin’ right, princess. All fuckin’ mine to do whatever I fuckin’ want.” And with that, he’s slamming into you, his hand on the headboard in a (wasted) attempt to save the wall from the constant banging.
“Touch that pretty little clit, princess,” he breathes out, chasing his own release now with the sole intention of marking you with his seed. One hand still on his neck, the other snakes down to rub your clit in fast, messy circles, your body begging to cum for a fourth time tonight. “Daddy,” you whine out again, the honorific clearly being your only vocabulary for tonight.
“I know, honey, I know,” he coos, “Cum for me, mama, and I’ll fill you up right fuckin’ now,” he sucks on your bottom lip, “You want that, baby? To be pumped full of me?” He knows your answer, yet he still asks anyway knowing how much his words affect you.
“Please, God, yes, fill me up… I need your cum so fucking badly, I need to feel you, please,” you beg, only spurring him on more.
With both of your mouths spilling such dirty words, his lips anywhere they can reach with the combination of you playing with your clit and him pounding into you, your body enters the astral plane yet again for the fourth time tonight. Though, this time, you force your body to come back down, so you can feel his warmth spill into you.
It only takes but a few more thrusts after you climax for him to follow suit, roaring out as hot, thick ropes of cum spill into you, overflowing and dripping out of your sore cunt. He slowly pulls out, labored breathing, sits back up and just watches. Watches as your pussy clenches to keep him locked inside of you, watches as his load drips down your folds over your tight, little asshole. Another day, he thinks to himself with a smirk.
He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until his fingers are engrossed in the thick combination of your releases. You moan out at the sensitivity of your pussy, but Joel doesn’t care. He slips his middle and ring finger in, feeling just how much he filled you up. And before you know it, he’s pumping in and out of you yet again, his eyes completely focused on your glistening sex, hitting that spongy spot inside of you that has you fluttering for another fucking release.
“Ahh,” you hiss, not knowing whether you want him to stop or keep going. He uses his other hand to rub on your clit. Fuck. Yeah, okay, you want him to keep going. “Shit, daddy, I’m gonna cum again,” you say as you scramble to get ahold of the bedsheets.
Joel’s gaze breaks away from your cunt to look at you, he smirks like the devil, “Oh, yeah, honey? Gonna give me another one? Come on, baby, I know you have it in you,” he slips a third finger inside. You whine at the stretch. “One more mess, baby, and then I’ll take care of you, I gotcha,” he says for comfort.
You’re nearing the point where you guys usually begin to transition into aftercare, and he knows. He always knows. But he also knows that today you need a little extra push, so he gives it to you.
The thrusts of his fingers don’t come to a stop, but they exponentially slow. “Give me a color, mi amor,” he softly encourages. Even with your erratic breathing, you’re able to force out, “Oh my god, daddy, green, green, green, please go faster, just like before, please-”
He quickly leans forward and stops your blabbering with a chaste kiss and chuckles when he pulls back, “My god, I love you so much, princess.” Then his fingers pick back up to the speed you were so desperately loving before, his and your cum leaking out all over the inside of your thighs.
“Fuck, daddy, I love you so fucking much, fuck, thank you, thank you,” you cry out. A few more pumps and a few more circles to your clit and you’re cumming for the fifth (and final) time tonight. Joel groans at the way you finish on his fingers, and it’s his mouth that blabbers out this time.
“Shit, baby, yes, soak my fuckin’ fingers, let me feel you, fuck-” He’s so enthralled at the sight before him, he doesn’t hear you pleading for him to stop pushing in and out until the honorific fades, “Baby, baby, baby,” you frantically breathe.
He makes eye contact with you again and realizes how caught up he was in you. “Oh, darlin’, shit, I’m sorry, mi amor. What’s your color, baby? Fuck, I’m sorry-”
It’s you this time who forces your entire wobbly body to push up and meet him in a bruising kiss. “Stop, daddy,” you say with a lilt in your tone, signaling to Joel that you’re back from subspace. You smirk, “My color is green, cowboy, but I really need you to run me a warm bath now because I can’t move a single muscle with how you had me, baby,” and pull him in once more for another kiss.
His smugness returns and he pushes you back down on his bed, peppering your face and neck with kisses, forcing sweet out-of-breath giggles from you. “That, I can do, baby. May I join you?”
Your face completely softens, your stresses and worries from the last 24 hours completely nonexistent. “I’d be mad if you didn’t, Miller.”
The next hour and a half — or until the bath water becomes tepid — is spent with him cherishing your body, washing you with your lavender, oat milk body wash you love so much, ultimately just helping you softly come down from your oxytocin high.
You’ve never felt more loved, appreciated, or taken care of in your life. He always makes sure your come down is smooth and unnoticeable as you fall from a blissed state of mind to one of pure love and adoration. As long as you have him in your life, you truly believe you have all of what you need.
As he’s drying your body up and slipping you into one of his t-shirts, your stomach growls… loudly.
“Darlin’...”
You pull away from his grasp, jokingly rolling your eyes while smirking, “Yeah, yeah, Miller. Come on. Gotta fill me up again, don’tcha, cowboy?”
“Jesus Christ,” he breathes out followed by your name, “Tryna put me in an early fuckin’ grave or what?”
Author’s note - extended: Hi guys! I birthed this little one shot on a Friday night while sippin’ on a glass of whiskey and stressing about the stressful entire week I just had. This isn’t my first time writing, in general, but this is my first time writing with the intention of truly producing a story out of it.. this is also my first story I’m posting, so I’m very nervous. Even if just one other person reads this and enjoys it, that’s all that matters to me <3 I also wanna give a quick thank you to my bestie, who’s an AVID smut reader, for proofreading this. She said, and I quote, “gotta change my panties” and “she’s growling” after reading this LMAOO. So, thank you for that, bestie. I love you with my whole heart.
As with any fic, reblog and comments are very much appreciated!! All feedback is appreciated, too!!! Please do let me know how you liked this, and if there's anything specific I could work to improve, I'd love to know! I hope I did okay for my first actual attempt at smut.
Much love to everyone! <3
.
EDIT: As of the new year 2024, I no longer do taglists!! Follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs and turn on the notifications to be updated when new stories come out!!
#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller#pedrohub#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal characters#Pedro pascal fanfiction#Pedro pascal smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel x reader#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#tlou smut#smut#Joel miller fluff#Joel miller one shot#joel miller x female reader#pedro pascal#pedrostories#endless thoughts fics
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ALRIGHT ENOUGH SWEETNESS. LIN KUEI BOYS FIRST TIME FUCKING THEIR PARTNER 🎤 (please)
Omg y’all, my brain let me write again😃
I don’t feel like looking for gifs and my storage space is in hell so I ain’t got photos. Sorry twin
Bi-Han
I know I start his parts off with “the haters will tell you” a lot
IDC. Imma do it again
The haters will tell you he won't care and he'll do his own speed and yadyadya. No.
He's an asshole but be fr y'all
I'm gonna write this as you're both experienced but it's your first time together. If that's not what you meant then lmk but until then-
You're both experienced but he's still careful
He's the type to pick up speed fast but he's not immediately gonna be aggressive
You're experienced but not with each other so he's gonna actively try to be slower and softer
Very observant towards your needs and adapts quickly
I think he’s observant in general so I think he’d easily notice how you react to certain things
More of an action guy
What I mean is he won’t verbally say a lot. Like you know how some people will ask “does this feel good?”? (That looks ugly as fuck-) He won’t
He won’t because he’s paying attention to how you react and what gets the best reaction. He doesn’t need to say much
He’s not completely silent but I don’t think he says much in general, so the first time would especially be quiet because he’s focusing
Do I think he’s rough during sex? Yes. For the first time though? Probably not. He still feeling shit out
When it comes to making him feel good, he makes sure to let you know. He’d never be the type to lie about nutting. That’s just not him. He’s gonna make sure you do it right
Very handsy
He’s vocal when it comes to grunting and I think he’d go out of his way to make noise in your ear if it was something you enjoyed
Pays attention to both your needs
I could see him wanting to go a couple rounds before stopping
Leaves tons of marks as a reminder of what happened
Now that you’ve started now, don’t be surprised when he wants to do it consistently
Kuai Liang
Mostly pays attention to what you need
I think he’s way more verbal than Bi-Han so he’d actually verbally ask what feels good and what doesn’t
He goes slow
Lots of emphasis on foreplay and trying to set the mood
His lips are everywhere
Like legit, every part of you has felt his lips or tongue
I get it, you may think he’s very fast and intense because fire but no
Fire can also symbolize passion and Kuai Liang is a very passionate lover
Considering it’s the first time, there’s no need to rush
The type to always be pleasing you. Even if you’re talking or making small comments, his fingers are still gonna be working on you
When it comes to fucking he’s not doing it fast but how hard he’s going makes up for it
Will go faster if you ask
Is also leaving marks
Does frequent check ins to make sure everything is ok
He’s a big dude (in the sense he’s swole as fuck) so he’d probably prefer for you to be on top so he won’t crush you
If I said he pulls on hair will I be booed or cheered?
If you’re bald then ignore that
Offers to give head. Doesn’t matter if you’re laying down or sitting on his face. He’s leaving here with smth-
The ratio when it comes to orgasming is off as fuck because he’s the type to pull out and start eating you out
Extra points if it’s after you came
He’s pulling out all the stops. You’re not going anywhere after this
Doesn’t particularly care how many rounds you go for
Main focus is on how many times you cum. There’s some people that try to be sweet and “I didn’t cum but if you’re tired then-“ don’t piss him off
You’re either stopping because you’re tired or you’re shaking (or you wanting to stop but that’s not a saucy ending)
Tomas Vrbada
He’s always gonna be a sub to me, idc
He would try so hard to be big man on campus and all strong and shit, but bitch one good tug at the hair and he’s folding
Lets you take the reigns for the first time
Don’t think just because he likes being tossed around a lil, he ain’t gonna say how he feels. No
You can be submissive and still assertive. That’s Tomas
Similar to Kuai Liang in the sense that he is really focused on what you want and what feels good to you
Already moans a lot and loud as fuck but he’s especially loud once he’s finally inside you
He wants to go slow but life happens. The wind just kinda blows this way and next thing you know he’s fucking you like he’s saying goodbye. It’s the winds fault fr
Is also verbal with what he wants and wants you to be too
You’d think y’all have fucked several times with how comfortable he is when it comes to saying what he’s into. What do you mean “choke me”?
What do you mean you wanna fuck the cum outta someone or vice versa? Let’s take a breather, calm down, gather our thoughts-
Once he’s horny his brain shuts off and the whore comes out. You’d expect it’d be Bi-Han that would become this bold, but no. He’s bold all the time. Tomas gives mfs whiplash.
Like bro we were just eating dinner 20 minutes ago
Like I said, he’s really focused on what you want since it’s your first time. You gotta leave an impression
Is his brain cells shutting off? Yes. Will them bitches turn back on if he notices you don’t like something or you say something feels weird? Yes
He’s attentive
Probably came before you because he’s sensitive but he’s not the type to roll over and be like “welp, guess it’s a wrap”
He wants your brain to be as fuzzy as his and he’s determined to make that shit happen
Idk why I changed my profile to this Fear Street aesthetic when I never write for them but here we are. I wanted to change it and this is where I landed.
#mk1#mk1 2023#mortal kombat 1#bi han sub zero#bi han#bi han smut#subzero smut#bi han x reader#kuai liang scorpion#kuai liang#kuai liang mk1#kuai liang smut#scorpion smut#tomas vrbada smut#tomas vrbada#tomas vrbada x reader#smoke smut#mk1 smut
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Watching community. On the 4tb season rn. Just wanted to put down some of my observations. The pilot characterisation is drastically different compared to the later seasons. Abed is functioning(he can read time, when later on he can't??? Tf??), but special quirky funny smart kinda way. Idk he seemed so much more mature compared to the later seasons. Dreamatorium, and all his schizo tendencies infantanlised him too much. Troy was the American football start still hung up about his high school life, young cool dumb and kinda stereotypically normal. He was rooted in reality, and could actually be a real person. But then they turned him into the other schizo sheep for their rainman duo. Dumbed him down and made him into a different character. Annie was supposed to be the young naive insecure girl unsure of sex...?ish. Like sheltered and unsure. She was worried about her social standing, popularity and shit. Shallow stuff, but again, real and relatable. Then she turned into... Bruh I don't even know. I guess one can argue that she grew up, and I guess Ill acclet that. She ok if guess, believable character growth that I honestly don't mind. Britta was smart, cold, strong, SMART OK?! she was independent and knew her worth. She was cooooollll as a cucumber. Like. What happened??😭😭😭😭 They made her so WEIRD WTF. Like she was sexy and cool bro, then she became dependent on guys(blade... Like, NAHHHH)and became dumb as shit. What the fuck, they did her so dirty, like frrrr lobotomised her. Like she was the girl you were intimidated of, but was still attracted to, and knew you had to put in a lot of effort into charming, but then she became some brain-dead retard. LMAOOO. Not exactly complaining about all of these changes btw, just kinda confused and a little sad. But wtv. Shirley was kinda the same. And Pierce too. Made him dumber tho, but maybe that's cuz he's just getting older and more senile. Idk, he's kinda funny.😭😭idk why ppl hate him so much, (yeah, he's homophobic, annoying asf, dumb, old, racist, everythingphobic, but that's funny bro, grow a thicker skin, Jesus fuck. Just cause your funny little show is full of cannon rainmans and rupauls, you don't get to filter out the guy.) think he's needed in the dynamic and he adds the flavour. Ppls shouldn't excluded him from their fanarts and stupid fanon shit I've been seeing. Idk, I think he's part of the group, they clearly care for him, and he's an important part, so idk. I guess ppl just seeing and selectively talking about what they want to see kind of pisses me off. But also, it's just a show, so I really shouldn't be so pressed, it's really not that deep. Ppl can do whatever they want, idc, and even if I did, no one else does. So. Jeff. Side note, he can stab me, beat me, gaslight me, manipulate me, hurt me, punch me, kick me, and I wouldn't mind. He cute asf.😭😭 And he was so cool and smart and aloof in the beginning. Twisting your words around like THAT. SO COOL. I have a thing for smart white guys with a little scruff and windblown hair. (House, and Lucifer spn, etc...) But yeah, he gets kind of lame later on. I hate that he starts having a heart and CARING for the ppl around him. Like....Ew....no. I wanted him to go back to being a cool heartless lawyer who cares about superficial things and thrives with other soulless bastards. Mmmm. Now that's sexy. Idk, he got so.... Lame. Lame lame lame. Not cool. No. Got less smart too. Hmmmm. There might be a direct correlation between coolness and intelligence.
Also, the banter of the show was smart and interesting and intricate and funny as hell. I'm not saying it still isn't(at least in season 4), but I feel like they put in a little less effort. The pilot was so good, so many iconic moments in ONE episode, so many good jokes I got pulled in LITERALLY the first scene. That's how good and consistent the jokes were.
Overall, I like what I'm seeing, really really funny show, so much fucking better than SUPERNATURAL. YES, IM STILL PISSED I WASTED SO MUCH TIME ON THAT HOT PILE OF GARBAGE. I love how much reference they put in there, the cinematography, filming styles, stylistic choices..... SOOOOOOO GOOODDD. I could cum, I love shows that do this type of shit. Documentary one ep, heist format, law and order, courtroom style drama, who dunnits, all so funny and Samer, they way they rewrite all these tropes to fit into a fucking COMMUNITY COLLEGE SETTING. WTFFF SO GOOD. I give it, so far at least, a 8.5/10. Yay.
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I wonder if the real guy seriously looks similar, but tbh I doubt it and I'm worried about people's reactions if/when he'll be revealed. I feel bad for the real members, they're outstaged by some fake pink guy 😭 can't even promote their song. No because it's true AI TY is that you???
Ok maybe I got carried away with 10 steps but I definitely have enough of different products to do the steps, I know some people who do that, but I'm lost and lazy eidgjsehemheusggs this is one of the reasons why I was interested in that brand, the name is cute. I got a lick of the watermelon sugar, did it for Harry. It actually tasted good, but slightly off 😭
Seonghwa should live in a car at this point idc I need car selfies every day. And Soo Hyuk takes car selfies too A COINCIDENCE???
No it's not okay I have terrible eyesight 😭 today my friend woke me up at 7 and for some reason I couldn't fall back asleep until 9, but that was pointless since I had to wake up at 10 anyways 🔫 and I went to bad after 2
Yes the same thing happened with the festival in Riyadh that Stray Kids, Chungha and someone else attended. Not only was it controversial, but also a lot of shit happened because of the weather it was chaos... on one hand I feel happy for the fans, but I understand how morally controversial it is. It's like playing concerts in China.
I WANTED TO SAY THIS IS BODYGUARD X BOXER CROSSOVER, when he did the gun gesture... Seonghwa are you here?! Are you trying to destroy us completely bestie?
My hacking era starts now if you see anything sus look away, I just wanna sightsee in your drafts 🤗
They barely have hair 😭😭😭😭 maybe those weren't shampoos only. Yeah maybe those were body + hair products
Basically me and mister Lee Taeyong were in my hometown and went to eat, he couldn't stop talking about bread? So we went to a bread place lmao, it was cold af and we definitely weren't dressed appropriately, I kept complaining about my converse getting wet and my feet freezing. At the bread place we ate a lot of stuff, not just bread but the place was a bit sus tbh. They kept giving us food and I asked if we should pay, but TY said no, so we just left. But before I wanted a cold cheesecake on the go, but he said "it's cold, let's get a warm one" lmao. So we ate the cheesecake on out way back, but it was even colder and we were walking along a highway 😬😬😬😬 later Taeyong told me to be careful because there were shootings in my area(?) I was like "bro, who even has a gun here?" and he showed me a WANTED poster and it was an idol BUT I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER WHO IT WAS. I also remember something about school, but I think that was a separate dream
I need to stop getting Seonghwa in every quiz, let's be fucking normal for a second. Ahhh so many people I know got Sannie. Baek what's with all the feelings and emotions 😭 I got Remembering something nostalgic with full clarity - the description is very accurate.
https://uquiz.com/quiz/5lyKy0?p=162107 - Got HK <3
I'm attending Pride today wish me luck because it's so mf hot and my make up will be gone in 30 mins lol, shit is gonna melt for sure... - DV 💖
hi hello!!
I wonder if the real guy seriously looks similar, but tbh I doubt it and I'm worried about people's reactions if/when he'll be revealed. I feel bad for the real members, they're outstaged by some fake pink guy 😭 can't even promote their song. No because it's true AI TY is that you???
YEAAAHH worries if dispatch tries to get the dirt behind the guy and reveal it publicly 🔫🔫 LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 OUTSTAGED BY A AI PLS id honestly give up fhkwhdk YEAH TY LOOKS MORE AI THAN THE ACTUAL AI 😭😭 SM RLY SCORED HARD WITH TY
Ok maybe I got carried away with 10 steps but I definitely have enough of different products to do the steps, I know some people who do that, but I'm lost and lazy eidgjsehemheusggs this is one of the reasons why I was interested in that brand, the name is cute. I got a lick of the watermelon sugar, did it for Harry. It actually tasted good, but slightly off 😭
no def bc 10 steps id get tired after three how do u dO iT 😭😭 the name is so cute omg reminds me of a nonexisting fic with seonghwa and that title <3 LMFAOOOO IT TASTED GOOD 😭😭 DONT BE SHY HAVE A SPOONFUL !!!
Seonghwa should live in a car at this point idc I need car selfies every day. And Soo Hyuk takes car selfies too A COINCIDENCE???
NO FR IF HE HAD A CAR IT BETTER HE A AUDI OR RANGE WILL NOT ACCEPT HIS DAD VAN 😭😭😭 DBWMBD THEY RLY NEED TO MEET UP MAYBE AT THAT AWARD FUNCTION FOR ACTORS???? BESTIE IF WE GET CRUMBS IK ITS OUR LAST DAY ALIVE IM YELLING BC IT CAN ACTUALLY HAPPEN NOW FUCK????
No it's not okay I have terrible eyesight 😭 today my friend woke me up at 7 and for some reason I couldn't fall back asleep until 9, but that was pointless since I had to wake up at 10 anyways 🔫 and I went to bad after 2
LMFAOOOO i also did the same thing just this morning <3 kept tripping and waking up every minute w/o glasses bc i thought it was 12 😀 no bc naps after 2 hit like coma???? so warm and tingly u feel like ur on drügś when u wake up all drowsy with marks on ur arms and cheeksies 😭😭😭
Yes the same thing happened with the festival in Riyadh that Stray Kids, Chungha and someone else attended. Not only was it controversial, but also a lot of shit happened because of the weather it was chaos... on one hand I feel happy for the fans, but I understand how morally controversial it is. It's like playing concerts in China.
YEAAHHH esp bc jeddah is also like extremely close to mecca (like an hour) and that could also be considered heavily controversial + like of the moves they do r a little u know,,, dunno how that’ll work out YEAAH THAT SKZ CHUNGHA ONE WAS CRAZY ????? no fr so true
I WANTED TO SAY THIS IS BODYGUARD X BOXER CROSSOVER, when he did the gun gesture... Seonghwa are you here?! Are you trying to destroy us completely bestie?
FHWMDBWM IT LITERALLY IS BC THE WAY I SLAMMED MY PHONE DOWN FBWMFHSK HES TRYING TO DESTROY US COMPLETELY AND WE GIVE IN
My hacking era starts now if you see anything sus look away, I just wanna sightsee in your drafts 🤗
omg pls do i need someone to tell me what to write this will make it easier fbkwfb 😭😭
They barely have hair 😭😭😭😭 maybe those weren't shampoos only. Yeah maybe those were body + hair products
LMFAOOOO SO TRUE FHWK BALD SPOT ERA COMINGGGGGG 😭😭😭 reminds me if chanyeol’s bald spot <3 (endearing) those were some tHICK body + hair products they better be smelling like bath and body works with those many things
Basically me and mister Lee Taeyong were in my hometown and went to eat, he couldn't stop talking about bread? So we went to a bread place lmao, it was cold af and we definitely weren't dressed appropriately, I kept complaining about my converse getting wet and my feet freezing. At the bread place we ate a lot of stuff, not just bread but the place was a bit sus tbh. They kept giving us food and I asked if we should pay, but TY said no, so we just left. But before I wanted a cold cheesecake on the go, but he said "it's cold, let's get a warm one" lmao. So we ate the cheesecake on out way back, but it was even colder and we were walking along a highway 😬😬😬😬 later Taeyong told me to be careful because there were shootings in my area(?) I was like "bro, who even has a gun here?" and he showed me a WANTED poster and it was an idol BUT I CAN'T FUCKING REMEMBER WHO IT WAS. I also remember something about school, but I think that was a separate dream
U GUYS DIDNT PAY FOR FOOD LFJQKFHKWFBLWJDWK COMMITTING CRÏMES IN UR DREAMS BESTIE HFNW was the food good tho,,, u guys could’ve left a tip,, DHQKDH IS THIS SOME ACTION MOVIE WHO WAS ON THE FUCKING POSTER 🔫🔫
I need to stop getting Seonghwa in every quiz, let's be fucking normal for a second. Ahhh so many people I know got Sannie. Baek what's with all the feelings and emotions 😭 I got Remembering something nostalgic with full clarity - the description is very accurate.
LMFAOOOO U AND SEONGHWA ARE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON THEN DBDB no bestie idk either fbenfb omg no bc these quizzes be understanding u to the fullest this is crazy
https://uquiz.com/quiz/5lyKy0?p=162107 - Got HK <3
LMFAOOOO HELLO KITTY FBEJ i got badtz maru
I'm attending Pride today wish me luck because it's so mf hot and my make up will be gone in 30 mins lol, shit is gonna melt for sure... - DV 💖
OOOOO GOOD LUCK HAVE FUN AND DANCE LOADS OMG VLOG IT !!!! take some extra makeup in case bc drip is forever <3
boomer..
👁👄👁
do the borahae quiz dbdbd
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cultural appropriation in ATLA (hinduism edition)
i’m sure there’s already a ton of posts about this, but whatever, i’m still making one idc.
ATLA’s cultural appropriation, everyone knows about it, the white people don’t speak about it, and the asian and indigenous people get ignored. we know the cycle. but i wanted to come here and highlight some of the most prominent examples of ATLA abusing hinduism, as i am kinda sorta hindu (i was raised in a hindu household, i go to chinmaya mission, that kinda shit). i might forget some things so keep that in mind.
this is gonna be divided into 3 main sections, since there are different ways that they disrespect hinduism that i don’t wanna lump together.
and i’d say i know a lot about hinduism but that doesn’t make me an expert, obviously, so if other hindus have anything to add and/or correct then please do !! and if anyone else wants to share how their cultures were appropriated then please do that as well !!
so let’s get started shall we?
appropriating hinduism
1) the avatar
we’ll start with the most obvious example: the avatar itself
i know that there are parts of the avatar mythos that are taken from other cultures as well but the idea of the avatar itself is primarily from hinduism.
basically in hinduism, the term dashavatara refers to the 10 reincarnations of lord vishnu (the god of preservation), with avatar(a) meaning form or incarnation in sanskrit, and das(a) meaning ten. it was said that whenever the world was out of balance, lord vishnu would come down to earth in a certain form to restore balance. Each reincarnation is considered a different life with a different story. the avatars of lord vishnu are often considered the saviors of the world.
so basically, the central idea of the show and the actual name of the show is largely based on hinduism.
2) chakras
many different indian religions have a concept of chakras (chakra meaning wheel or circle in sanskrit), but hinduism is the one that primarily preaches the system of seven chakras, the version used in ATLA.
chakras connect the physical body to the ‘subtle’ body (referring more to the spirit and the psyche) by connecting parts of the body to aspects of the mind. the idea is that through different forms of steady meditation you can manipulate the different chakras and allow the pure flow of energy through the body.
the whole idea of chakras on ATLA is that aang has to unblock them all to let the cosmic energy flow through him so that he can go into the avatar state at will. so yeah, pretty much that whole idea was taken from hinduism.
3) terminologies
these are just a few terms that were taken from hinduism. i’m pretty sure there are more that i can’t think of right now but yeah.
“agni” kai
i’ll be honest i don’t know where the ‘kai’ part is from, i don’t think it’s from hinduism but if it is well fuck me i guess.
‘agni’ in hinduism is the god of fire, so the creators used it in ‘agni kai’, the name for a firebending duel.
“bumi”
this is in reference to the hindu word for ‘earth’, which is bhoomi. this is also in reference to our goddess of earth, bhoomi devi. also this doesn’t really bother me but i wonder if the creators knew that bhoomi is a name typically used for women (as are most hindi names ending in ‘i’/‘ee’).
in general, concepts like having multiple complex gods (the spirits) who are capable of good and evil and the reincarnation cycle are prominent in a lot of asian cultures, including (and arguably primarily) hinduism.
mocking hinduism
now we get into the mockery of hinduism in ATLA, because it is very much there.
1) whoever the fuck that baboon guy in the spirit world was
now what the fuck was this.
i mean i wouldn’t say this is the most egregious example of them making fun of brown people but lord why did this even need to be there? this random guy from the spirit world has an indian accent ? and is fervently chanting ‘om’ for some reason, and it’s clearly meant to be seen as comical. also portraying brown people as monkeys....... really.
2) combustion man/sparky sparky boom man
when rewatching ATLA in 2019 i actually had no idea that this was a thing, because the last time i had watched it was as a kid and i didn’t finish it.
so lord was i in for a surprise when i saw...
now... now what.
if you didn’t know, combustion man’s ‘third eye’ is designed to replicate the hindu god of destruction, lord shiva. right down to the vibhuti on his forehead (referring to the three line markings around the third eye).
in hinduism, lord shiva’s third eye is used to reduce people to ashes, though as far as i can recall, not very frequently. the primary significance of the third eye is that it represents the ability of higher spiritual thought and higher consciousness.
the ATLA writers take the ACTUAL significance of the third eye, throw it out the window, and then take its destructive abilities to make a super duper cool and dangerous new firebending technique.
and if that wasn’t bad enough, the actual person who uses this technique, and is meant to emulate a GOD who is PRAISED, is a scary, burly, half metal man who is a villain and an assassin. not to mention the design of his facial hair replicates that super duper scary “terrorist” depiction of brown people, particularly of muslims, that white people are so thoroughly terrified of for no reason.
this is a parody of a god, and they portrayed him as this terrifying, maniacal fucking assassin who, along with p’li, the combustion bender from LOK, is constantly referred to as a “third-eyed freak”. i’ve made this analogy before and i’ll do it again, this is like making jesus into a hitman.
now onto my favorite example...
3) guru pathik
ah, this motherfucker.
i don’t really have any problems with him as a character, i mean hell, must’ve taken a fuck ton of patience to handle aang’s “why would choose cosmic energy over katara” bullshit.
but we all know it, we see it plain as day, don’t even try to deny it.
“guru” literally just means teacher or guide, so i don’t really know why pathik needed to be referred to as “guru” so distinctively from aang’s other teachers and guides, but that’s just extremely trivial compared to all the other issues with this character.
first of all what is this character design? what is he even wearing? if they’re trying to replicate the clothes of swamis and priests and stuff this is already wrong, realized people don’t dress like this. and why the fuck does he have an indian accent? and why was this indian accent done by a non indian (brian george)?
once again, the poor but extremely heavy indian accent is clearly meant to be mocking, if it wasn’t, they wouldn’t’ve gone out of their way to get a non indian person to DO an indian accent, and instead they would’ve just gotten an actual indian person to play the role.
and oh yeah, the onion and banana juice. because hindus just eat weird shit right.
whether it’s actually weird or not, the show certainly portrays it as weird. and as far as i know no hindu actually fucking drinks onion and banana juice.
ironic because brown people can absolutely destroy white people in cooking. but i digress.
i know what you’re all waiting for. because the guru apparently didn’t have enough fun with guru pathik, so they just had to come back to him in book 3:
where do i begin.
so this is obviously john o’bryan’s super funny and hilarious depiction of pathik as a hindu god.
usually when a god has multiple arms it’s to carry an array of things, from flowers to weapons to instruments, and one hand is typically free to bless devotees (ie. goddess durga and lord vishnu respectively):
but of course white people see this as weird and so they make fun of it, hence guru pathik having multiple arms just flailing about aimlessly (save for the two that are being used to carry the aforementioned onion and banana juice).
then there’s the whole light behind pathik’s head which is usually depicted in drawings of hindu gods to show that they are celestial.
also what the fuck is he holding? is that supposed to be a veena? because this is what a veena looks like:
and i assume the reason this was added was to mock the design of goddess saraswathi, who carries a veena:
but that right there in the picture of pathik looks more like a tambura than a veena.
and it also just kinda looks like a banjo?
but i guess the animators just searched up “long indian instrument” and slapped it on there. actually no, that’s giving them too much credit, they probably didn’t search it up at all.
and then the actual scene is pathik singing crazily about chakras tasting good or something while playing the non-veena and it’s all supposed to be some funky crazy hallucination that aang is having due to sleep deprivation. just some crazy dream, just as crazy as talking appa and momo sparring with swords or tree-ozai coming to life.
our gurus and swamis and sadhus and generally realized people are very respected in hinduism, they’re people we look up to and honor very much. and our GODS are beings that we literally worship. and the writers just take both and make caricatures out of them for other white people to laugh at.
4) other shit
before we move to the next portion i just wanna mention there are also smaller backhanded jabs that i can’t really remember now, but one example was when zuko was all “we’ll be sure to remember that, guru goody goody”. or when a character would meditate and say “om” only when the meditation is supposed to be portrayed as comical or pointless. or in bitter work when sokka was rambling on about karma. small things like that. but moving on.
south asian representation, or lack thereof
now i finally get to the “losing” hinduism part. by this i mean the lack of actual representation there is of south asians (the region where hinduism is primarily practiced) despite the fact that hinduism plays such a big role in the show’s world design.
i think it’s safe to say that broadly the main cast consists of aang, katara, sokka, zuko, toph, azula, iroh, mai, ty lee, and suki.
a grand total of none of these characters are south asian. the writers don’t even attempt to add any south asian main characters.
there are characters with dark skin, like haru and jet, but a) they’re not confirmed to be south asian and don’t have any south asian features or south asian names, b) they’re side characters, so they don’t count as representation, and c) even if they were south asian and main characters, jet wouldn’t even count because he’s portrayed as a terrorist.
the ONLY truly south asian character we get is fucking guru pathik. so yeah. not representation.
i don’t get how the creators of this show rip off of hinduism (among many other south asian cultures they rip off of), mock indians, and then don’t even have the decency to HAVE a main character who is south asian.
i’ve never gotten a chance to compile all this, and this definitely isn’t all the creators have done, but i hope this was somewhat informative.
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latch (Sam Kiszka x reader)
hey guys here's the little Sam enemies to lovers smut that was requested! idc if it’s a bit cheesy, I had a ton of fun writing it so please please please send in more requests! I love helping your ideas come to life!
Warnings: Smut (Oral-f and m receiving, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex)
Friday had finally rolled around and you were more than ready. After a long week of classes and work you were more than ready to have some fun tonight. You and your roommates were going to have some people over tonight to celebrate your second year of college almost being over. You had come up with the idea last weekend and quickly made a list of who all should be invited. There was one person on the guest list that you were dreading to see, no other than Samuel Kiszka.
You had met a kid named Danny Wagner in your first class freshman year, and you two became fast friends, sharing many of the same interests and hobbies. Together you and Danny were a dynamic duo, and you always made each other laugh. People often thought you were dating, but he already had a beautiful girlfriend back home. Danny also had another person constantly attached at his hip, Sam Kiszka, you’d almost think they were the ones dating.
Sam was a lanky kid with sharp features and an extremely annoying god complex. He really thought he was the absolute shit and that everyone was in awe of him. Quite honestly many people were, but you saw right through it. You found him to be arrogant and rude, and you were always disappointed to see him when you went over to Danny’s place, even though he was his roommate. Sam would often show up unannounced at your place too, mostly with Danny, but a couple of times he showed up alone. You were always polite, inviting him in like the good host you are, and you two ended up watching a movie together, and much to your surprise, in these times he was almost tolerable. Almost. He would make a snide remark or joke that would infuriate you, but he wouldn’t stick around for long, usually having somewhere to be. That somewhere was usually the bed of another girl, but they probably didn’t just watch movies.
That was another reason you couldn’t stand Sam. Last year you had a crush on him and he would do the thing where he would play with your emotion, hang out with you and flirt with you only to immediately go and fuck random girls. It hurt you, a lot, but you eventually got over it, losing the romantic feelings, or rather pushing them deep down where you’d hope they’d never surface again.
Now people were going to be at your house in an hour and you haven't even showered. It didn’t really matter though, you weren’t all too concerned with what other people thought of your appearance, so what if your hair was a little wet. You quickly rinsed off in a cold shower, then changed into a simple outfit for the night, flared corduroys and a crocheted tank top.
That was the other thing, you’d think you were exactly Sam’s type, he seemed like he would be into girls who were more artistic and down to earth, but all the girls he hooked up with seemed like they spent most of their time thinking about themselves. Not that there was anything wrong with those girls, you weren’t the “pick me” type, but it seemed like Sam would care about that kind of thing. Whatever, you don’t even like him anyways, he’s more of a nuisance than anything.
You had finished a seltzer by the time people started arriving, the playlist you and your roommates curated playing throughout the apartment. Being with your friends always made you very energetic, and people always said they liked being around you. You could get a crowd laughing in no time. People were coming through the doors and when there were about 75% of the people there, your partner in crime finally arrived. “Wagner!” you shouted across the room in a dumb accent, already a little buzzed. “Where art thou good friend?!” Danny yelled back, matching your accent as you two finally made your way to each other, wrapping him in a friendly embrace. “Where’s your obnoxious sidekick?” you whispered into his ear.
“Don’t worry he’s here. I know how you were just dying to see him.”
“Oh aren’t I always?” you responded with a sarcastic smile
“I still think you need to give him a chance, you’d probably really like him.”
Before you could even respond, he was running up behind Danny and lifting him up by his waist.
“Well if it isn’t dumb and dumber!” you exclaim before Sam comes up and wraps his arm around your shoulder.
“Oh come on (y/l/n), you love me!”
“Haha good one Kiszka, now why don’t we do something I actually love.”
“And what would that be?” Danny questions.
“Take a shot and dance our asses off!” you yell. If you were going to deal with Sam you needed to be a little more intoxicated.
You gathered your roommates and the boys and took them to the kitchen and got out the glasses.
“To friendship!” you yelled
Right then you caught danny say something quietly, and it looked like he was saying “Or more than friendship”
That made you stop for a second before throwing your head back and downing the shot.
“Ok let's get back out there” your roommate says as she pulls you by the arm.
You spend about the next half hour dancing with all your friends, taking hits of joints and drinking. You and Danny did a silly little dance you had come up with last year when you would get drunk in your dorms and do dumb shit. Mid-routine he slipped and pulled you down with him, both of you laughing your asses off. You felt someone grab your arm and help you up as the song changed, “Latch” by Sam Smith blasting through the speakers, one of the best party songs probably ever. The person who had grabbed you wrapped their arms around your waist, swaying back and forth with you to the music. You loosened the stranger’s grip and spun around only to be met with the face of that little shit, Sam.
“C’mon kid can’t you at least try to tolerate me for one song”
“Who ever said you were intolerable?” you respond, admiring how the dim light highlighted his features.
He leaned in close to your ear and lowly whispered in it “You think I can’t see it. Whenever you’re around me you act like it’s charity work.”
You pull back to look him in the eyes and say “It wasn’t always that way. Now let's get back to what we were doing. I like this song more than I like you, which is quite a lot.”
He gives you a grin before you start moving your body against him, and by the end of the song he’s staring at you in complete awe.
Once the song ended you broke free from his grasp. “See you later Kiszka” you say with a wink, turning around and disappearing into the crowd.
Your stomach was in knots, and not from disgust. The moment you just had brought up a lot of emotions, mostly about your romantic feelings for Sam but also the resentment you felt towards him. Fuck, you were in deep now. Things would be so much easier if you never had to see him again and all of this could go away. But alas, you needed to suck it up so you could still have a close relationship with Danny. Plus in about twenty minutes Sam would probably be grinding on another girl. Screw it, you were going to have a good time with your friends, you didn’t need Sam to be happy.
The rest of the night you avoided Sam, giving him zero of the attention he was craving. A couple hours later people were leaving your home or asleep somewhere in the living room, bathroom, kitchen you name it. Thankfully though, your room remained empty, you needed some space to think.
Everyone was asleep and the house was quiet, you threw on a pair of boxer shorts and an oversized Led Zeppelin shirt, passed down to you from Danny. You went to the kitchen and drank probably a gallon of water, making one last pit stop to the bathroom to pee and brush your teeth. No matter how tired you felt you knew you'd thank yourself in the morning. Finally you were on the way back to your room when you stopped in the doorway. Sam was standing in there, looking at all your decorations and your extensive vinyl collection.
“You’ve changed some stuff since the last time I was here”
“Yeah, I like to rearrange stuff y'know? keep it new and interesting.” You remarked, rubbing the back of your neck and yawning, trying to hide your obvious panic. This is the last thing you were hoping for, being confronted one on one with the man himself.
“Are you cool if I stay here tonight? Daniel is passed out on the couch and I don’t feel like making the walk home alone.”
“Of course...did you want to sleep in here?” you ask before you could even stop the words from coming out of your mouth. Fuck, you were a dumbass.
“If that’s okay with you, sleeping next to a stranger wouldn’t be my first choice.”
“You never had a problem being in a stranger’s bed before” you mumbled, looking at the floor.
He didn’t say anything, just turned his head to stare at you for a second, his eyes seeming almost apologetic.
“Well you might as well get comfortable” you tell him as you turn off the lights and flick the lamp on.
“Do you have a shirt I could borrow? I don’t really wanna sleep in jeans and a sweaty shirt.”
“Would you like an old one of Danny’s or one of mine?” you tease him, grabbing out yet another old band shirt of his roommate’s.
While he’s changing you turn away and busy yourself with lighting some incense and pulling the covers back, to avoid seeing his bare torso.
“Can I throw on a record? I can never get to sleep in the silence.”
“Help yourself” you say, but he already has a selection in his hands, Michigan by Sufjan Stevens, one of your favorites.
“Wonderful choice, but I imagine you’re a bit biased.” you say to him, both he and Danny were from the same town in Michigan and had to let everyone know.
“I just wanted something calm and serene, compared to all the fast paced stuff we’ve been blasting for the whole night.”
“Well it was a party Samuel, you have to give the people what they want” you tell him as you climb into bed.
Sam grabs for one of the pillows and a blanket, but you stop him.
“Were you gonna sleep on the floor like a dog? I don’t give a shit whether or not we share the bed.”
“I just assumed...I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable...or anything.”
“You might be surprised by this but I actually feel pretty safe around you” you confess to him. Fuck, you were still slightly intoxicated so your filter was off. It’s okay, he was still a little drunk too it seemed.
“Do you mind if I take my pants off?” he asks you with a sincere look on his face.
You can’t help but burst out laughing, finding his awkwardness and the absurdity of the comment quite hilarious.
“I’d prefer it to your rough jeans...as long as you’re wearing underwear.”
“C’mon I’m not that much of a freak” he says as he pulls down his zipper and clumsily kicks his pants off.
You couldn’t help but stare for a moment, he looked gorgeous quite honestly, long hair tangled, old shirt hanging off his shoulders and shark boxer briefs stopping at his mid thigh.
“Okay Kiszka, get in here before I change my mind.”
He pulls back the sheets and crawls in, laying his head on the pillow facing you.
“I’m sorry” he says, looking deeply in your eyes, seeming almost ashamed.
“About what?” you knew you shouldn’t feed into this, whatever was going on here was completely platonic and wouldn’t mean anything in the morning.
“Everything. Being such a dick to you. Leading you on. I promise that’s not me, I just, I honestly don’t know how to act around you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re just the one person who actually kinda intimidates me. Or at least my feelings for you intimidate me.” he sighs.
“Is that why you are always fucking other girls and telling people about it when I’m around?”
“God you’re not going to take it easy on me, are you?”
“Why should I?”
“You shouldn’t. With the way I’ve treated you I honestly don’t expect anything from you, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer and I thought this was as good of a time as any.”
“Sam, can I be honest with you?”
“Of course”
“I actually don’t hate you at all like you seem to think. I can’t stand you because I really do like you, but I gave up on anything happening a long time ago.”
“Well you did a pretty good job of hiding it” he says, moving a little closer to you to the point where your noses were almost touching, the feeling of his breath giving you goosebumps. The music hummed softly in the background as you thought for a second.
“Sam don’t hate me but we’re both kinda drunk and I don't wanna do anything right now. I wanna be there for it, like fully there.”
“I was actually hoping you’d say that. I wanna take in every detail and remember it all. You’re not just another drunken hookup.”
You can’t help but give a soft smile, your cheeks going red.
“Well maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to a bit of cuddling”
“Neither would I” he says as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in close as you bury your head in his chest, taking in his scent.
Something overtakes you, and you tilt your head up and press a soft kiss to his collarbone.
“Goodnight Samuel”
“Goodninght kid” he whispers, pressing his lips to the top of your head, and you can feel him breathing in your scent as well, elated to finally feel wanted.
********************************************************************************************************
You wake up to sunlight streaming through your curtains, turning to look at your clock but instead being met with Sam’s chest.
You were sober enough last night to remember everything that happened, Sam’s feelings for you coming to light and vice versa. It made you almost giddy with excitement, not being able to wait until his eyes opened.
You played with his hair, running your fingers through it and moving it from his neck, replacing it with your lips. Soon enough he’s stretching his arms and yawning.
“Any reason you needed to wake me up at 7 am?” he asked you, looking down at you as the pad of his thumb brushed across your cheek.
“Just couldn’t wait to see you I guess”
“That's a first” he says sarcastically, once again staring deep into your eyes.
You could hear the birds singing outside and a refreshing spring breeze made its way into your room through the open window.
You stared at each other for a second longer before he whispered “Can I?”
You nodded your head yes and he dipped his head down to capture your lips in a kiss. It started off sweet and then your lips started moving in a rhythm, his hands grabbing your legs and pulling you onto his lap. He kept kissing you as your tongue made its way into his mouth, causing his hips to buck up into you. You pulled back and let out a soft sigh, basking in the feeling of him growing hard against your core. He took this as an opportunity to attach his lips to your neck, sucking at the delicate skin and leaving little nips.
“Can I take this off?” you ask him, hands grabbing at the hem of his shirt.
“Please” he groans against your neck.
You pull it off and instantly your hands run along the expanse of his smooth skin, admiring every freckle and mole, fingertips brushing across his nipples. You pull your hands away to pull your own shirt off, blushing a bit, slightly embarrassed to show yourself to him. He takes a moment to stare at the newly exposed skin, pulling you down into a kiss a moment later and mumbling “You’re absolutely stunning” into your lips.
“You’re not too bad yourself” you say with a smile spreading across your face, quickly losing it as you bite your lip when he starts to move his hips once again, his bulge rubbing deliciously against your already wet core.
“I need more of you” he grunts, obviously frustrated.
You tangle your hands in his hair and pull his head back a bit, looking down into his eyes before saying “then have me”, pulling him into a kiss.
In a swift movement he flips you both over, kneeling with his legs on either side of you.
“These need to come off” he says, tugging at the waistband of the boxers you slept in. As he pulled them off and the cold air hit your core, you couldn’t help but drink all of him in, admiring just how gorgeous he looked, as if he was sculpted by the gods himself. That moment ended when you felt his middle finger run lightly up and down your slit. You threw your head back and closed your eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his skin on yours.
“Please Sammy, I need you” you say, surprised at yourself for using that nickname with him.
He looks at you and smiles before lowering his gaze to your dripping cunt, furrowing his brows as he pushes his long finger inside of you. You mewl as he pushes it down to the last knuckle, letting you adjust for a moment before starting to slowly pump in and out.
“Fuck you’re tight. So much better than I imagined.”
“So you’ve thought about this before?” You smirk at him, turning your eyes to look at the sight of his finger pumping in and out.
“Quite a lot actually, I’ve thought a lot about how you taste too” he says before readjusting himself so his head is buried in between your thighs. It only takes a second for his tongue to find your clit as he inserts another finger and starts to pump a little faster.
“Fuck you’re good at this” you say as you let out a breathy moan, hands once again finding their way into his hair. That causes him to moan around your clit, sending vibrations through your whole body. You don’t know how much longer you’d be able to last, with Sam lapping at you like it’s his last meal.
You pull his hair, forcing his lips to part from your sensitive bud, pulling him into a sloppy kiss.
“I wanna taste you too” you say before getting up and kneeling on the floor in front of your brd, motioning him to sit with his legs over the side, facing you. You look up at him as you pull his boxers down, length hitting his stomach. You take a second to admire it, with its pink head, a large vein running up the bottom. It was a nice length, with quite a bit of girth to it, surrounded by a small patch of pubic hair. As you wrapped your hand around it you said “not to be weird or anything but your dick is gorgeous”, causing him to let out a light laugh that was quickly stifled when you wrapped your head around the tip of his cock. His fingers intertwined with your hair, lightly pulling it, not forcing you down on his dick like some guys do. You gently moved your head up and down, taking as much of him as you could in your mouth and using your hand to stroke the rest.
“Fuck I need to be inside of you” he groans, tugging at your hair, causing you to pull your mouth off his dick with a small pop.
“Can I ride you?” you question as you make your way back onto the bed.
“Fuck yes, I can’t promise how long I’ll last though” he says, pulling you in for another kiss as you line him up up with your entrance. You run his tip along your slit a few times before slowly starting to lower yourself down, taking your time to adjust to his size. Once he’s fully sheathed inside of you, he throws his head back, letting out a guttural moan.
“Fuck, you feel so fucking good, I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
“So have I” you say before starting to slowly move yourself up and down on him.
It’s lazy and sweet, not perfect or anything, but nothing about this situation really was. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Fuck” he remarks as he grabs your hips, fingers sinking into your skin,helping you move up and down on his delicious cock.
“You fill me up so perfectly, god you feel so good”
“I guess it was meant to be baby” he says with a grin, putting his fingers in his mouth then moving them down to rub circles around your clit.
“Fuck Kiszka, if you keep taht up I’m gonna cum.”
“That was my goal, I’m close too” he breathes out as he buries his head in your neck.
You clutch the back of his head as you start to move yourself up and down faster, fucking yourself on his cock.
“Fuck Sam I’m gonna cum”
“Me too babe, where do you want me to?” he asks shakily.
The only word you can muster out is “Inside” as you approach your peak, clenching around him once more before tipping over the edge.
It’s complete bliss as you ride out your high, feeling him give one last deep thrust into you before coating your walls with his warm ropes of seed.
You collapse against him, nuzzling your head into his neck, pressing sloppy open mouthed kisses as you both catch your breath.
He pushes your hair to the side, leaving his lips on your temple while he remains sheathed inside you.
“Thank you” he says, still regaining his breath and returning to reality.
“Don’t leave me” you say softly into his ear.
“I wouldn’t for the world, don’t you worry kid.”
You sit up and look into his soft brown eyes, taking in how much things have changed in the past few hours.
“I don’t hate you. Not in the least. I just hated the idea of not being with you.”
“Same here, but we don’t have to feel that anymore. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. You deserve the world, and I want to try my hardest to give it to you.”
“Thank you Samuel, I’ll try to do the same.”
You give him one last long kiss before pulling back, pushing his hair behind his ear and saying “C’mon loverboy, let’s go get some breakfast.”
#sam kiszka#sam kiszka imagine#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka smut#greta van fleet#greta van fic#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van fleet imagine#josh kiszka#josh kiszka imagine#josh kiszka smut#josh kiszka fan fic#jake kiszka imagine#jake kiszka#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka fanfic#danny wagner#Danny Wagner imagine#Danny Wagner smut#Danny Wagner fanfic#peaceful army
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the intern
Peter Parker x Reader (college au)
requested: (anon) plz plz plz give me some college aged, super powerful ( think stark ceo powerful ) peter parker shit. idc what the rest of the story is about, i just need a brooding, smoldering, suit wearing, extremely expensive, college aged spiderman. plz and thank you!!!!
warnings: language
summary: When you start a new internship at Stark Industries, you're not only surprised to find Peter working as your boss, but that he's not the shy neighborhood boy you grew up with
a/n: this doesn't follow canon so for this imagine, hammer industries is just a rival company and the snap never happened lol also i don't know anything more than operating a phone so don't expect me to write sciencey, techy stuff lmao
(gif source)
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were running across the road to jump into a cab that was available. Your phone hadn't been charging all night as you thought it had which caused you to wake up forty-five minutes before the start of the interview. You need this internship before you graduate from Empire State and get your degree in robotics.
On the way there, you nearly got car sick as the driver took sharp turns and nearly ran past intersections seconds before they became red. Once in front of Hammer Industries, your heels clicked loudly as you ran inside the tall building. You checked in with the front desk and took the elevator up to the 10th floor.
Just as you arrived, Justin Hammer was calling your name. “I'm right here!” you nearly tripped on your heels and your breaths were short.
“I've called your name three times, do you understand what that makes you look like, correct?” Justin stood unphased as you stood up straight and tried to steady your breath. “All these people are on time. Some of these folks have been here for hours, even.”
“Yes, sir. I’m so sorry–”
“Shame, I really liked your resume and your report on the expansion of nano-technology. Try again next year, maybe.” Justin started to call out the next participant and when she got up you stepped in front of her, “Please Mr. Hammer, I need this internship or I can't graduate.”
The people in the waiting room had their eyes on the two of you, tension so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. “Then maybe you should have come on time,” he pushed you aside to let the next person in to interview. You quickly ran back out and spoke to no one all the way home. Your eyes and cheeks were aching as you held in the tears during your Uber ride. The driver wanted to ask if you were okay, but if you were to break down in his car he’d probably be stuck having to listen to what happened and if he was honest with himself, he didn't actually care.
Once you got to your apartment, you made a straight line to the kitchen. “Hey, how’d the interview go?” MJ, your roommate, asked while still looking at her computer. You reached into the freezer for your emergency ice cream pint, snatched a spoon and walked into your room without saying anything. “That bad, I guess,” MJ said to herself.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:
You sat with MJ and Ned in the cafeteria, but had not touched any of the food on your plate. Your head was laid on the steel table and you just continuously groaned. “I’m a failure,” you whined.
“No, what you are is fucking dumb,” MJ commented as she ate.
“Thanks, Michelle, that makes me feel so much better,” you looked up to glare at her before laying her head back down. Ned felt bad that his friend was in despair, “How come you didn't ask Peter for help?”
“Huh?” you lifted your head back up some of your hair falling onto your face.
“Yeah, Peter already works at Stark Industries, why didn't you just ask him to get you in? You could even skip the internship altogether and be in full time,” Ned suggested. You gave it some thought, but something about it didn't sound right.
“No, I don't want to bother Peter. I don’t want him to think that I’m only calling him for a job,” you sighed. Ned texted Peter anyways. Unexpectedly, Peter texted him back immediately.
“He says it’s fine,” Ned showed you his phone to read the text. ‘Yeah man, tell her to come in tomorrow and Ms. Potts will interview her’
You let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding and pulled out your phone.
‘Thank you so much for helping me out’
(…)
‘No problem, anything for a friend’
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:
The Stark Industries building was huge. It almost looked taller than the Empire State Building, and maybe it actually was. Your legs were shaking as you stared up at it. “Here goes nothing,” you assured yourself.
The lobby was bustling with people; workers walking around, a group of kids that seemed to be here on a field trip, and some teens taking pictures in front of one of Mr. Stark's Iron Man suits.
The trip up to the 17th floor was crowded with people as more and more entered in every passing floor. You had to squeeze yourself out and accidentally stepped on someone’s foot in the process.
Looking around, your jaw dropped. It was an open laboratory with groups of people putting together small robots, flying drones, and people laughing and talking. It was such a fun and cool looking environment, you wondered why you didn't just apply here in the first place.
Pepper Potts spotted you walking around and approached you with a tap on your shoulder. “Hi, I’m Pepper. You must be Y/N,” she reached her hand out to shake yours which you accepted. “Hi, nice to meet you.”
“Peter’s told me a lot about you. Come, follow me,” Pepper’s office had glass walls and a view of New York from behind her desk. You weren't particularly fond of heights, but even you would love to have an office view like that. Pepper gestured to the chair in front of her as she smoothed her dress to sit in hers. “So, I see here that you had an interview at Hammer’s. Can I ask why you chose them?” You didn't even know how they got that information. You hadn't seen or spoken to Peter in quite a while, so how Pepper knew that was beyond you. You sat there with your lips moving to say something but nothing was coming out.
Pepper seemed to have caught on what you were thinking and elaborated, “Before I do any interviewing, I do full background checks on everyone.” She had a gentle smile which made you feel better. You thought she would scold you or something considering the question did more than catch you off guard.
“My mother used to work there for a long time and I figured that I would follow,” you explained. Pepper nodded her head and wrote some notes down. She looked onto her computer and looked at everything there was about you. “Well, I see here that you have exceptional grades. 4.7 GPA since you started school and your paper on nano-technology has gotten much praise. I think even Tony read it.” No way. The Tony Stark read my paper? “So tell me, do you see yourself working here at Stark Industries?”
You looked outside and watched everyone in the open lab again. “Yes.”
“Then that’s all I need to hear. We’d love to have you here,” she reached over to shake your hand. You looked at her surprised and hesitantly shook hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”
“Thank you so much!” You cupped her hand with both of yours and shook it a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to mind. You were ecstatic to start your path to your career, and at a dream place at that.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:
Your alarm rang at the time you set it to, but there was no need for it. You couldn't sleep all night. Today is your first day of your internship and you were feeling so many things at once. Excited, nervous, happy, scared…
You tried to restrain yourself to a light breakfast, but MJ’s pancakes were to die for that you ate two whole stacks. You looked through your closet just about fifteen times; you had already picked an outfit the following night with the help of MJ, but when you put it back on, you hated it. It sucked for your roommate seeing as she had to sit through you changing from eight other outfits.
You tried to picture the lab again to see how other people dressed for a better idea to base it on your outfit choice. From what you remember, it was pretty casual, so that’s what you stuck to.
You were given your pass the day you were hired, so you had no issue walking inside. The elevator was just as packed as it was last time, but you were more composed so there were no toes being stepped on this time. You weren't exactly sure as to where you had to go, so you looked around to see if there were other interns to ask where to start.
“Y/N!” Peter’s voice surprised you from behind. Your shoulders jumped a bit, but relaxed at the view of his face. His face… you actually hadn't seen him for quite a while. Months, maybe. His jawline was more defined, and his once floppy hair was styled neatly. You tried to not look him up and down, but the temptation was definitely there. And the other thing, his voice was deeper than you last remembered. Is this really Peter Parker? “Hey, Peter.”
He gave you a hug that nearly made you lose breath. He was stronger than you remembered. A memory flashed back to when you were in junior high; you, Ned and Peter were hanging around the local park and you beat Peter on rounds on the monkey bars. He gave up after a couple bars, but you went back and forth a couple times. ‘Show off.’ But now, he had muscles that the shirt he was wearing hugged his biceps.
The hug was quick, and you had to pretend that he didn't just squeeze some life out of you. “Do you work on this floor?”
“Yeah, you’re actually assigned to work with my team. Come, I’ll show you around.” He started walking and you noticed how his posture changed. Damn, I know it hasn't been this long since I've seen him. Why does he look so different? He was wearing trousers. Trousers? Peter hates trousers. But his ass is looking great–
“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s going to be working with us as an intern. And I'll say this beforehand, no she's not going to be taking coffee or lunch orders,” Peter introduced you. There were various aged people in this group. Some were your age, and one person looked to have been in his thirties. Peter is in charge of this group? They all said ‘hi’ to you and went around introducing themselves.
Once that was finished, Peter pulled a chair for you on the table. “You’ll take notes for me while I give this presentation,” he whispered to you before walking in front of the table and started writing on the clear glass board.
He was talking quickly and didn't stumble over his words like he used to. Everyone was listening to him attentively and you jotted notes down as quickly as you could. Every now and then, you would steal glimpses of him and feel a sort of… well you felt something. Amazement? Inspiration? Adoration?
No doubt was Peter one of the smartest people you've ever met and here he was leading his own team and making potential products for Stark Industries at such a young age. Seeing him at work was so… it was indescribable to you but all you could think of was how different he is now. In a good way, of course.
Peter Parker has been your friend for years and to see him change from a bumbling, shy, adorable nerd into a confident, intelligent working man attracted you.
When you got home, you thought a lot about your first day. Being an intern at Stark Industries was really fun, so far. You weren't expected to do silly things like get coffee or lunch for everyone or pick up someone’s dry cleaning. You actually learned something and even had your opinions heard on some of the things that Peter suggested for his team’s upcoming product presentation.
If this is what it's like to be an intern, you couldn't imagine what it would be like working full time.
“How'd it go?” MJ stuck her head in your room. “It was fun. I'm working with Peter,” you explained your day to her.
“Cool,” was the last thing she said before she went to her own room for the night.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:
In the past few months, your internship at Stark’s has been going swimmingly. Everyone's been so nice, and the work is so fascinating. You've gotten closer with Peter and along the way, he felt like he was more than a friend and boss to you.
Currently, everyone was getting ready for their final presentations for the upcoming annual Stark Industries Convention. It was going to be Peter’s first year presenting his own project with his team and you were so excited to be a part of it.
The time you’ve spent with Peter was really fun. He was a good mentor and a great friend. The only thing was that you couldn't help but look at him a little too long, and you’ve found yourself thinking about him during your classes or doing your homework. The shy boy from Midtown High was no more, replaced– no, grown into the Peter you know now. But you pushed all feelings aside to focus on your next thesis paper and mock-up of the handout brochures of Peter’s project.
Sometimes, you didn't even feel like an intern as Peter would ask for any ideas you had to make the project better and even let you help with assembly. He stayed true to his words and you’ve never once had to run for coffee or things like that. There’d be times when you would study some of the little parts under a magnifying glass and he’d come up slightly behind you and explain about some of the bits on the working table.
And every time he did that, your breath would be stuck in your throat and you’d have to remind yourself that this was just Peter helping you out and you’re just learning. But it was normal to want more every now and then… right?
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:
The convention was just a few days away and you had trouble finding something to wear. These events were usually black tie events, but did that mean the presenting teams as well? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?
One of the guys on your team, Richie, sat with you during lunch and talked about how he was probably going to wear the same suit as always. Not because he couldn't afford a new suit, but he was just a simple person and he only wears it once a year for the conventions and that’s all, so it’s still in mint condition.
The girls on your team and some from others were going dress shopping the day before and invited you to join. You were excited mainly because now you don't have to bother MJ for it.
Speaking of MJ, you were going to ask her to come with you. Pepper sent out the electronic invitations to everyone in the company and authorized plus ones to even interns. She’s never been to one – for reasons you were still confused about – but you wanted your best friend to be there for you. And if not MJ, then you bet Ned would still come with you. Wait, what if he’s going with Peter?
On cue, Peter had sat in the chair next to yours in the small break room, “Hey, Y/N.”
“Oh, hey Pete. You excited for Saturday?” Peter quietly stirred his coffee and gave you a small smile, “Uh, yeah. I’m nervous, but I’ve worked really hard on this. And everyone, too. Including you.”
You slightly blushed. I didn't do all that much you thought. You two just sat there taking small sips from the hot, bitter beverage.
“So… I wanted to ask you something,” Peter started.
“Mhm?” The coffee nearly slipped past your lips. You quickly grabbed a napkin to lightly dab some of it off of your lips.
“Well, as you know, we can bring anyone with us to the convention,” he trailed off.
“Yes?” Is he going to…
“And I wanted to know if you were bringing MJ with you.” Oh. You nodded your head and thought you hid your disappointment well but without knowing, Peter actually caught it for a split second. “Good. You can come with me,” he smiled and stood up.
You were in awe; without effort, Peter just asked you to be his date for Saturday.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:
“Dude, how are you not ready yet? He’s gonna be here any minute,” MJ sat at her computer per usual working. Your music was too loud for her taste playing from your shared bathroom. Peter said he would pick you up at 7, and it was currently 6:50.
You had put on and removed your make-up at least five times. Something was always wrong; one of the wings would either be thicker than the other, the blush would be the wrong shade, or the lipliner kept going out of place. But, alas, you finally nailed it.
Your hair was styled half up with elegant curls and braids. In between some braids were little bits of baby’s breath flowers. Most likely, you were going to have a hard time taking those out but they looked cute and it was too late to take them out.
Your dress was right above your knee and flowed comfortably so you wouldn't have a hard time walking. It was a neutral taupe color and had a V-line that ended just above cleavage and hugged the curve of your waist. You paired it with simple black heels and a small, white handbag.
“He’s here,” MJ informed you.
“Okay,” you took a deep breath, “what do you think?” You spun around and held your arms out. “You look really pretty. Now go get ‘em. I’ll watch it on the live stream.” She gave you a lazy thumbs up and resumed her work.
Outside was Peter in an all-black apparel. His dress shirt had only one button undone, and he had a loose blazer that accentuated the dip of his shoulders. He stood against the limo with his hands at his sides. God, he’s gonna be the death of me.
When he caught sight of you, he had a flirtatious smirk on his lips and held out for your hand. “Peter, where’d this limo come from?”
“Mr. Stark set it up for me,” he stated like it was no big deal. Must be nice being his favorite. He held the door for you to climb in and closed the door behind him. “We’re ready, Happy,” he told the driver. Happy rolled his eyes, closed the window and drove off.
The convention was off to a great start; Tony Stark came in with his suit as he always loved to do and started introductions before everyone else scattered around to look at the projects of the many departments in his company. Some groups of certain departments had large stages, some had small stands, like Peter’s.
There were still large crowds coming to see the smaller presentations, and everyone seemed to be fascinated with Peter's. You stood on the side as his team operated the machine and Peter spoke. He looked confident and it was mesmerizing to watch him.
After the night was over, all employee’s and some guests were brought back to headquarters for the after party. You walked around with Peter and had flutters in your heart every time he held the small of your back. The most exciting part of the night was meeting Tony Stark in person. He greeted Peter warmly, and then his eyes landed on you, “Peter, who’s this?”
“Oh, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of mine,” he gestured for you. You shook Tony’s hand and stood starstruck. “The one you don’t shut up about?” Pepper hit his shoulder and laughed nervously.
“Wait, I’ve heard about you. Buddy of mine works at Empire State and he showed me your paper, it was really good.” You were still shocked that he had even read it and here he was talking to you about it. You went back and forth talking about nano-technology.
On the way home, you and Peter talked and laughed about things you told him as you caught him up to what was happening on campus when he couldn't be there. It was a really fun night, and Peter was more noticeably relaxed now that the hard part was over. “Alright, home sweet home,” Happy announced through the window.
“Well, that’s me,” you smiled sadly, not wanting the night to end. You reached to open the door but Peter climbed out from his side. He walked around to open your door and just like he did earlier, held his hand out for you to grab and assist you out the limo. What was different this time was that he kept his hand in yours as he walked you to the door of the apartments. “I had a great time with you tonight,” Peter confessed.
“Me too,” your voice was soft and low for only him to hear. Peter’s eyes switched from looking into yours to your lips before he grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you. The kiss was needy, passionate, but had a certain gentleness to it. Once he felt you kiss him back with the same fervor, he deepened the kiss and brought one hand to pull your waist closer to him.
You pulled apart to regain your breath and looked to admire his swollen lips and he copied the same notion. He leaned in to give you a gentle kiss and pulled away, “Good night, Y/N.”
“Good night, Peter.” Your cheeks were flushed and your face was warm. You watched him as he left and ran inside. Upstairs in your apartment, you found MJ and Ned sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in each of their hands.
“Good night?” Ned asked. You just nodded and walked slowly to your room.
“We saw the whole thing, by the way,” MJ said nonchalantly. You looked back to glare at your best friends, Ned smiling innocently at you and MJ keeping her straight face.
You changed into your pajamas and laid on your bed on your back, looking up at the ceiling. You couldn't wait to go back to work on Monday.
—
requests open!
#peter parker#peter parker imagine#requested#requests open#peter parker au#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#marvel imagine#avengers imagine#spider man imagine#spider man x reader#spider man x y/n#spider man x you#peter parker fluff#peter parker smut#spider man fluff#spider man smut
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I DID IT.
Sugar Daddy Headcanons
Characters: Willy Tybur
Warnings: NSFW
Willy Tybur:
- i actually did it bye
- this man is fine. as. fuck. HE IS SO ATTRACTIVE LIKE DAMN. idc what anyone else says.
- it was kind of odd the way you two met, you were both at a coffee shop and he actually bought your coffee. he spotted you in the line and thought you were absolutely stunning, so as a the gentlemen he is, he paid for your order and you had no idea until you were called for it.
- mans left his number and you were instantly shocked as shit.
- Willy is a well known CEO, he owns a rich ass company, and he was going through a nasty divorce. he had all this money yet absolutely nothing to spend it on, so that's when he offered to be your sugar daddy.
- you were kind of struggling financially in school, and once you told Willy that, he went and sent you the money right then and there. LET'S JUST SAY YOUR JAW DROPPED.
- now let me just say, he is an absolute gentleman. he listens to you and is very respectful, he wouldn't want to do anything that would upset you or make you uncomfortable. he listened to your boundaries and your needs, he is a very good listener when it comes to his sugar baby.
- whenever you needed money, Willy was quick to hit the send button. he never asked what it was for, he just sent how much you needed. MANS DIDN'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT ANYTHING YOU BOUGHT.
- he did many things for you. he moved you out of the apartment you lived in and moved you into his own apartment, he said it would be better for you two. the only thing Willy ever asked from you is to spend time with him, he never begged or made you do anything you didn't want to do. GENTLEMAN LIKE I SAID.
- Willy took you on a lot of expensive and fancy dates, taking you out is his favorite thing to do. he just loves to be seen with you, not for his own gain, but he thinks that other people should see how amazing you look.
- he takes you on his yacht ✨ this man has a whole jacuzzi on his yacht. he has no issue taking him with you on it.
- he buys you a lot of expensive items. clothing, shoes, jewelry, makeup, anything. he loves to pamper you, all you gotta do is eye it and he'll grab it.
- speaking of pampering, he loves when you doll yourself up for him. he buys you a lot of expensive self care items, not that you're already amazing the way you are, but he just loves to see you do that stuff. he wants you to feel good.
- you're his sugar baby... you deserve the best.
- Willy let's you take his fancy cars out whenever you want, he has like 7 different cars. HE HAS A VARIETY OKAY?
- he takes you to the events for his job and he isn't afraid to show you off. he thinks you look stunning everytime, and he's always blown away by the way you look. you never fail to impress this man.
- HE HAS NO ISSUE TELLING YOU HOW AMAZING YOU LOOK.
- overtime a spark formed between you two, it was obvious Willy wanted more than being just a sugar daddy. he'd become possessive and jealous (not in a bad way) whenever a man other than him looked your way. you also felt it too, you always felt something when he'd come home to you.
- eventually, Willy just said fuck it and told you how he felt about you. mans has a way with words and he spilled his guts to you, and of course you didn't deny his feelings. you wanted it as much as he did.
- you were no longer his sugar baby, but now his lover <3.
- OK TIME TO GET DIRTY. NSFW UNDER THIS
- now like i said earlier, Willy didn't ask you for sex or anything in particular. he just wanted someone to spend time with, because he was kind of lonely lmao. when you mentioned sex one day, he was kind of surprised. after some chatting, you both agreed to take it to a sexual level. you also did live together, so it wouldn't be a bad thing.
- this man is respectful af in the bedroom, if you don't want to do something, he won't force you. he asks if you're okay or if he's hurting you.
- when you guys get nasty... it gets nasty.
- Willy is such a freak. he has so many kinks you don't even know, so be prepared for all kinds of things in the bedroom.
- he is pretty much dominant most of the time, he loves when you submit to him. it's such a turn on.
- Willy has amazing dirty talk, he'll get you hot and bothered quickly. sometimes when you wear certain outfits and you're in public, he'll whisper how hot you look and how he wants to take you in the bathroom and fuck you stupid. his voice is deep af too, you'll have CHILLS. his words are immaculate.
- hair pulling happens a lot, especially when he's hitting from the back 🥵.
- Willy lowkey has a slight blindfolding and bdsm kink, sometimes he'll tie you to the bed and tease the fuck out of you, or he'll use handcuffs.
- this guy loves to finger and eat you out, he definitely likes to overstimulate you until you're pushing his head away begging him to fuck you already. he'll look at you with a hot smirk and make you suck on his fingers, sometimes he'll make you get on your knees and he'll press his thumb onto your lips.
- PRAISES THE FUCK OUT OF YOUUUU. he has such a huge praising kink 🥵, he will tell you how amazing and sexy you are.
- hickies galore. he has no issue biting and marking you up, he'll leave them all over your chest and neck.
- don't get me started on his teasing and dirty talk, i know i mentioned his dirty talk, but it's just so hot. he'll blindfold you and run his hands down your chest to your abdomen leaving goosebumps along your skin, ALL WHILE HE HAS A HUGE SMIRK.
- there was a few occasions where he fingered you in public, and let me just say, you were a complete mess. trying to hold in your moans was an absolute struggle, he knows how to finger you.
- he has a daddy/sir kink for sure.
- he calls you princess 🥴🥴
- for some reason, i feel like Willy would be into those freaky rap songs, like pop smoke or the weeknd. I JUST SEE IT-
- "fuck.. you're so fucking pretty sucking my cock.."
- if you're being a brat or have an attitude, i once again will pray for your coochie. he doesn't tolerate that attitude, so once you get home, he'll have you hauled up the stairs and he'll have his way with you. his punishments are hot af, like you'd come out shaking and wobbly.
- he buys you expensive lingerie to wear for him, he thinks it's hot.
- sit on his lap and feel his print in his pants, HE LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT IN A SUIT.
- Willy loves to have shower sex with you, he'll lift your legs and fuck you in the shower. he also would probably fuck you in his car, especially if he's needy for you.
- Alexa, play Earned It by The Weeknd
- he'll make you have eye contact with him when you cum, he loves to see your face while he makes you cum all over his cock. it turns him on so much.
- strip tease? hell yes it turns him on.
- sometimes he'll leave bruises on your hips from how hard he grips them.
- okay but seriously, he'll make you get your nails done so you can leave scratches along his back. he loves the marks believe it or not, it's just so hot to him.
- aftercare is amazing! he'll take a shower and clean you up, and he'll kiss the areas he left any marks 🥺. he'll cuddle with you in bed and whisper how much he cares for you.
- most of all though, you're his sugar baby, your pleasure over his anyday.
- DEAR GOD I WENT ALL OUT.
#anime#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot x reader#aot x y/n#aot headcanons#snk x y/n#snk x reader#snk headcanons#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#willy tybur#willy x reader#attack on titan headcanons#anime headcanons#aot smut
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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .
if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation
Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh
this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.
Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries
i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho
speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible
tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.
Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏
how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???
'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??
about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.
you are the only funny person on this hellsite
how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.
Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)
check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)
dick grayson but he's nicki minaj
his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......
Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol
you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link
...
why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.
Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery
ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.
i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD
THANK YOU
bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.
people tend to do it in the bathtub.
WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns
i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think
lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.
if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk
i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.
saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3
literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.
I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.
fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)
It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece
OH my god dude lmao
there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more
it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )
i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)
shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.
Wait, hear me out
Bernothy @redlightofdawn
great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname
Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?
Wait no, I regret sending that ask
these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.
crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-
WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY
Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol
she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.
Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god
lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.
Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like
send to me or lose a toe
🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋
thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/
⬆️
This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.
Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow
fanksss also lmao.
That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but
There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?
oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.
"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure
yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.
I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!
haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.
Doot doot!
noot noot
I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me
lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.
sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"
lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing
(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”
yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.
so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side
i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’
ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.
wow. the IMPACT.
Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝
this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.
Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.
May I ask where your username originates from?
yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.
yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim
no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)
How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited
fenomenal next question.
Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that
(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)
i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts
You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel
you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.
Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main
he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.
Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.
lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy
stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
oh yes it is my darling.
did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily
no he did it bc fuck the french.
im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist
okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.
your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue
i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.
suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩
sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.
Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit
yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW
Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics
clark reads smut confirmeeed
NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector
that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.
One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy
literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.
superfam and batfam associations??
-batman and superman
-dick/barabara and supergirl?
-conner and tim
-jon and damian
pls enlighten me I am confused
nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl
I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)
sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.
good human what are your pronouns?
wouldn’t you like to know?
I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes
everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont
don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily
dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants
Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.
damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo
Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨
stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!
All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet
batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.
I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this
vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.
seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go
emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet
People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.
dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME
dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet
all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise
bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves
thoughts on teen titans and young justice
haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!
ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them
log off tumblr?
Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc
huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.
I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something
fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.
lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh
unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right
why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf
idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)
There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.
all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you
is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa
no. find her as owa owa as you want.
aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:
1. tim
2. Steph
3. dick
4. Duke
5. the rest
you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED
oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs
i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.
dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.
super random but
jason 🤝 damian
old english
lmao fair enough.
tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.
yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.
I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.
i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.
so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?
no. dunkin donuts all the way
One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker
now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.
crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown
SO CRAZY HUH?
batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink
absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.
unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator
dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.
When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution
bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.
#literally if you got through this i just respect you#this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask#i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else#ask#bataranswers#this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy#also sidenote#does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb#who cares tho latin is a dead language#big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence#here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram
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akai shuichi headcanons
shuichi wears a beanie all the time because he's self conscious about hir hairline .... and I mean who can blame him? id be too
shuichi saw gin when he was visiting Japan in the 10 years ago flashback and was like ooh long hair is cool AND it'll piss ka-san off flash forward 5 years later when shuichi infiltrates the BO and is like fUck cool long hair dude is a psycho
shuichi cut his hair off when he heard akemi was killed by gin he kinda went into the whole mental breakdown mode and was like fuck this shit because he started growing his hair out cuz of gin and also akemi really liked his long hair
shuichi used to be a band kid when he lived in England and wanted to pursue a career in music (much to the chagrin of Mary) but after tsutomu disappeared he was like fuck that and stopped playing until he entered the BO
shuichi has a really bad memory about things that dont have to do anything with his job kinda like BBC's Sherlock but not as bad
shuichi used to find dead bodies when he was a kid just like shinichi but it wasn't as often maybe like a dead body once a year or something
shuichi named himself dai because that's what Mary actually wanted to name him when she was giving birth she was screaming die die die and tsutomu wasn't there yet so she was like aight die sounds like the japanese name dai the only reason shuichi wasn't named that was that tsutomu burst in and was like FUCK NO
shuichi was picked on when training for the FBI since compared to 6 foot jock white men shuichi was a 5 foot 7 asian with long hair and dressed like a teenage girl who frequented Starbucks in the toxic environment of the FBI for anyone who doesnt fit the mold shuichi had it cut out for him
shuichi showed signs of multiple mental illnesses but they were all difficult to pin down so he was never diagnosed with anything since he refused to talk at the FBI mandated therapy sessions
shuichi's type is someone who is kind but could wield a gun
he used to dislike kids but being around them as okiya has made SOME kids special in his heart
before tsutomu's disspeareance he taught shuichi how to hunt with a shotgun
shuichi lived off of sports drinks and bars whenever he was single since he couldn't rely on take out due to it being unhealthy which wouldn't help his FBI styled life
shuichi taught akemi simple self defense techniques but refuses to teach her how to shoot a gun saying he didn't want her hands to get dirty
shuichi and shukichi blackmail each other for favors by using the "ill tell ka-san you did that one thing that you blamed dad for when we were kids if u dont help me out"
scotch once told him that bourbon's type was a white milf (in reference to Elena who was white and was a mother) so shuichi was scared as fuck when rei met Mary's adult self for the first time
shuichi hates being compared to his mother but the truth is they're the most similar and they both started mimicking tsutomu after his disappearance
the only thing shuichi knew how to cook before meeting yukiko was plain white rice as that was the only thing tsutomu was able to teach him
shuichi mimics an American accent while talking in America or talking in English unless he's talking to his family or he's mentally shook up and his British accent slips out
he thinks in British accented English as well (idc if the animanga shows him thinking in japanese it makes no sense that western raised people like Jodie and camel think in japanese) but he does use some japanese like ka-san and when he's trying to get deep into his okiya persona
he tries very hard to keep the polite speech patterns of okiya Subaru since as akai shuichi he's very .. rude
shuichi's sniper skills were so good the fbi was willing to overlook his disrespect of authority and his tendency to do everything by himself without consulting everyone
shuichi slips into a British accent around James if he's feeling really comfortable
he felt bad about using shiho since she was only a year older than masumi and she hadn't done anything wrong so he vowed to get her and akemi out of the BO
he had a plan to get akemi and shiho out by convincing the higher ups to grant them immunity if they testified but akemi's death derailed the entire thing
he hates to admit it but his family is the most important thing to him he may not contact them that often but he's going to such lengths to bring his father back because he cares for his family so much
shuichi didnt really know what he wanted to do with his life once he took down his father's pursuers but after akemi and scotch he decided that if he solved his father's disappearance first he'd hunt down the BO next tho once learning that Haneda Koji’s death had something to do with the BO he's back at the thing where he doesn't know what to do with his life without revenge
he promised shukichi that he'd be the one to solve shukichi's death if what happened to Haneda kohji also happens to shukichi
he isn't a fan of dates in amusement parks but if it makes his partner happy and smile he'll have fun
dating Jodie was a quiet thing most likely from an attachment maybe due to a bad case or a loss of a mutual friend depending on the agency they might have been legally allowed to date each other but it is usually looked down upon I dont think they went out together often probably spending time together at home ... doing stuff
he identifies as bisexual it was normal to him in childhood since both Mary and tsutomu talked about their past relationships to their children he never told anyone due to the fact it would affect his FBI status since it was illegal in America shukichi and Mary know he's bi but shuichi has no idea Mary knows
akemi and shuichi would take strolls in parks go shopping and go to cafes
he's very self conscious about his height and whenever he goes to Japan it makes him feel good about himself since he's relatively tall there
Mary was the one who drilled japanese into his head not tsutomu
the last time shuichi talked to Mary was when he called her up to tell her to take masumi and leave Japan for Britain after masumi cornered him and scotch him and Mary had a whole argument and after that they stopped talking to each other, not that they talked to each other much in the first place
shuichi learned jee kun do by watching training videos from vhs tapes/cds/YouTube depending on when you consider detco taking place I personally believe conan shrinks in 2018 meaning that tsutomu disappeared in 2001 and shuichi used a mixture of tapes and cds to learn
shuichi can read people really well but has a hard time manipulating people by being nice he can use people by being a jackass very well but trying to be a normal person is hard for him
Yukiko and yusaku remind shuichi of his parents before tsutomu disappeared but like more upbeat
shuichi dislikes full body hugs
akemi and shiho were both anime and romance drama fans so he knows random things about the shows and uses that info to connect with the DB and especially haibara
he considered himself British first and foremost but when asked about whether he considers himself white or asian he'll always go with asian
he started smoking soon after his father disappeared since his father used to smoke and he needed to cope but didn't wanna fall into drugs like cocaine
smoking is heavily looked down upon in America and is seen as unprofessional which helped shuichi go undercover a bunch due to him being a heavy smoker
akemi would make him stop smoking around her and shiho saying that second hand smoking was dangerous and that shuichi who was smoking constantly was going to get lung cancer but he would tell her that he just couldn't stop smoking he did stop smoking around shiho and akemi tho going outside to do it instead
as okiya it makes him go wild because he desperately needs to smoke to cope but okiya cant smoke it doesnt fit his image so he smokes a shit ton at night during his nightly drives
shuichi forced himself not to smoke during his time visiting Japan when he met masumi because he knew Mary would get even more upset with him
shuichi was terrible driving American styled cars and he got so upset that he perfected his drive-in techiuque over the years just to spite the instructor that said he was barely passing
he likes to go on late night drives and speed on the high way because he's a thrill seeking idiot
he has no social media but he created on as okiya Subaru to keep an eye on haibara's higo stan account
he takes offense to the idea that he's stalking haibara he's just p r o t e c t i n g her
he wants shiho to be happy more than anything so he's an avid coai shipper and is exhausted in Conan's obliviousness
shuichi didnt tell shukichi he wasn't actually dead shukichi just walked up to okiya Subaru one day and was like shuuichi-ni-san right? shuichi has long stopped questioning shukichi's weird ways of knowing shit he shouldn't know
shuichi is a sherlockian but he's not like shinichi or hakuba in that he does not hate BBC's Sherlock and actually enjoys it a bit
one upside to shuichi living in America is that he gets to hoard guns because he's obsessed with them he thinks they're really cool it's like conan with Sherlock he starts yapping his mouth of about them
bourbon once dangled a gun on in front of a sleeping shuichi cuz he didnt believe scotch when he said that rye was obsessed with guns and started saying incorrect shit about the type of gun he was holding and shuichi just shot up and started berating him
shuichi hates that chianti is a killer because she's the only person who's as much as a gun fanatic as he is
he tends to steal Jodie's car a lot
he likes fucking with peoples heads it's very fun to him to watch them get all worked up
shuichi hasn't mourned his father yet because he doesnt believe his father’s dead
deep down he blames his father for his mother going slightly bonkers
he didnt want masumi to be a detective at first but now hes proud of her
he drinks a lot as okiya Subaru since he cant smoke as much
he's willing to go to hell if it means he can rip gin from limp to limp
he really hates gin yall I dont think I can convey how much he hates gin
#akai shuichi#akai shuuichi#dcmk#detco#case closed#detective conan#gin#chianti#miyano akemi#miyano shiho#haibara ai#sera masumi#akai tsutomu#akai family#akai mary#mary akai#haneda shukichi#sera mary#mary sera#okiya subaru#jodie starling#kudo yusaku#kudo yukiko#kudo shinichi#coai#detective boys#amuro tooru#furuya rei#morofushi hiromitsu#scotch
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I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)
before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"
I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.
Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.
IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF
TAVVY
TAVVY
TAVVY
DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV
I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT
“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”
“But it’s 15 in Idris!”
“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.
DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD
Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.
The warlock – not the shadowhunter.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.
Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.
The shadowhunter – not the warlock.
I AM SCREAMING
I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about
“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”
Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?
ARCHITECT TAVVY
SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS
SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES
“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”
“Cause they are chill?”
“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.
Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)
ANJALI IS A CENTURION
LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS
I still ship them.
“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”
Well, that was a quick change-
Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.
THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS
great now I miss Raphael
I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY
that is so thoughtful of him though...
tears.
“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.
“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.
“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”
Of course, it is. No one is surprised.
Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”
“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.
white people and their bland foods smh
“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”
As she should be
UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE
He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.
"Beautiful"
I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO
I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP
FUCKING RUMORS
I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE
“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”
There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.
But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.
YET
Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.
OH MY GOD THESE TWO
But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.
I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D
“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.
I-
same.
NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-
RAFAEL LMAO NO
"I hate her she's so annoying"
continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone
Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?
And he calls Max oblivious.
oh class started
shit
IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING
LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY
JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD
“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”
“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.
LMAO POOR DAVID
“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”
He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.
yup, that's them.
“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”
“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”
He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.
Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.
Idiots
ok, there is so much to unpack here.
DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??
These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI
“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”
“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.
“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.
of course, he is.
G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD
oh shit
oh shit
WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME
what's the rumor and who do I need to kill
He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.
what is her problem?
what the fuck
I need a minute
I need a minute to digest that
I'm so glad I closed my camera in class
what the actual fuck did she just say
tell me I'm hallucinating
times like these I wish I was Jared 19
no, because I'm actually speechless right now
Paige and Irene need therapy
OH SHE WENT THERE
“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”
THANK YOU
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON
I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him
I can't believe this
“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”
“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”
OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU
hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight
I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME
“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”
I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.
This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.
yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.
MAX IS SMOKING TOO
YOU FUCKING IDIOTS
oh wait
oh they might be alec's
yeah
For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.
Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.
He kept talking about portalling people to hell.
MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!
But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.
They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.
YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.
NO MAGNUS
THAT'S IT
MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL
WE'RE DOING IT
why do we hurt others?
my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units
me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.
“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”
EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”
AS HE SHOULD
Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.
He's right though.
it'll take time. lots of it maybe.
BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.
It fucked with his mind so much.
Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS
“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”
MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER
He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.
Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.
EXACTLY
Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.
It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.
GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)
His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.
that's adorable actually.
“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”
“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”
“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”
“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.
Therapy is boring but useful so-
He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.
He needed to go back home.
UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES
I'm so proud of him for this...
I still say we kill these people.
JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE
UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF
Camilla Alvarez.
well well.
OH THEY KISSED
“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”
hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT
Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.
Rafe: OMFG WHAT
Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.
AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU
THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING
“He is hot.”
He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”
“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.
Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”
I'm liking this ship...
I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP
but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs
Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.
Rafe: ????
Dad: I hv friends thr.
Rafe: ???
Dad: Thy r watchn u.
Rafe: Creepy but okay.
HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV
THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL
Do it
MILA IS GOING TO NY!!
I like her. she's nice.
He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”
“Why?”
“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”
honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs
Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.
no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.
“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.
LMAO
Max and I are vertically challenged.
“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”
So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.
well-
“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.
“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.
“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”
“Dick."
I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO
When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.
There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.
There was only growth.
His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.
This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.
YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.
“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”
Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”
“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”
I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.
“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”
YES EXACTLY
“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”
I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.
“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.
“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”
affectionate sigh that's alec.
“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”
Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”
“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.
Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.
Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.
Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.
I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class
I'm so proud of him.
“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”
“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.
“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”
THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.
THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG
“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.
Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine
“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”
YES CRISTINA
“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”
What if I just strangles him
“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”
“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.
“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.
“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.
“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.
The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)
THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL
“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.
YES ANJALI
Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”
“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.
CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES
“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”
“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”
YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE
“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”
SHOW THEM, QUEEN
How did she know his birthday????
ahem
“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”
There was absolute silence then.
“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”
The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.
“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”
She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.
Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.
also, alec looking scared-
“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.
“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”
“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.
YES YES AND YES
“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.
“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”
“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”
“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”
Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️
"She hates me!"
“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”
Stupid but brave.
YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!
ANJALI WHO HURT YOU
WHO DARED TO
Names. Give me names NOW
Jaime no...please no not Jaime.
please please, please
ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...
“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”
This is such an Anjali thing to say.
OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??
me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...
BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...
UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE
see ya on Friday!!
OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.
But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!
Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj
ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS
IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting 📷"
"he's a himbo basically"
"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan"
"I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names"
"bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"°0° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"ł â m p"
"łæmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders"
""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great
i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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i feel the need to get this off my chest but it kinda grinds my gears when ppl assume the age 17 is like a grace period or something, even tho ur clearly still a minor. anything under 18 is still a minor. that’s just how it works. end of discussion
YEP!! YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT AT 17.
Look. Ik minors can have sex. Ik youre exposed to sexual media everywhere. But heres the thing. Im not comfortable w you consuming the sexual media I create. Riverdale writers can decide its ok to show 16yos having explicit sex and rate it for teens, but I only want 18 year old and older to read my NSFW content. I dont care what the legal age is in your country. I dont care of you think you're mature for your age. If you cannot accept that I don't consent to you reading my content, if you don't block the smut and NSFW tags, YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE IN ADULT SPACES.
What you don't understand is that the people telling you not to read smut were once kids who read smut, and went through the process of unlearning the fucked up shit adult fandom communities impart on kids. Some things I personally remember having to deal with:
Sex makes weird noises. It just does. Its awkward and strange and you need to accept that its gonna happen. Assuming it won't fucks w your self esteem
Having hair is normal. Literally most people ive been w do not care, and if a man does hes weird
Kinky sex isn't the norm. Its normal to like it but PLS dont start experimenting unless you're in a stable relationship and trust the person.
Things like choking, spanking, ropes, etc can cause serious damage. I have a friend who got her wrist fucked from handcuffs that were too tight. Make sure the person youre doing it w knows what they're doing, and if youre gonna tie someone up FIGURE OUT HOW. W choking you can't block the air passages or its not gonna be fun. Basically there's a ton that can go wrong and if your partner doesn't have experience and hasn't done the research and wants to try this thats a red flag
Literally if you're trying something new sit down w them and discuss it in detail first so you both know what youre comfy w and whats off limits and ALSO to make sure they know how not to hurt you.
Its super unlikely you'll be able to deep throat the first time and thats fucking normal take your time
If you have a vagina it is not common to be able to cum from penetration alone. More often than not you'll need clitoral stimulation as well
In fact most men don't know how to make a woman cum regardless of their experience. If he's not asking what you like chances are its gonna be shit. Literally tell him what to do if he's not doing it right and stop it if youre not comfortable or happy.
If you have a penis you might cum super fast. Which means if your partner has a penis they'll probably cum before you unless there's been a lot of foreplay
Cumming at the same time is not normal and not doing it isn't a moral failing just make sure to help the other person finish.
The first time you have penetrative sex its gonna feel weird. Esp if the biggest thing thats ever gone in there is a tampon or your fingers, shits gonna hurt. It's not necessarily gonna feel good. You will v likely need to be fingered to build up to the bigger size, esp if theyre big.
Even when you've had sex a lot it can still hurt to have smth inside you. My friend has been dating the same dude for two years now and it still hurts unless there's lots of lube and foreplay. Its normal.
Speaking of lube, USE LUBE. bitch idc how much of a wap you have, unless hes already made you cum you really need it to lessen friction. Use a lube thats water soluble so it doesn't fuck w the condom
Oh yeah, condoms. Unless you've both been tested and aren't fucking anyone else, use one. I dont care if youre on birth control. I dont care if you like it raw. If you don't want an sti USE A DAMN CONDOM.
Also, condoms dont just apply to penetrative sex. You can use them on your hands as gloves or as a dental dam when hes going down on you. The risks of spread is lower but not zero, and its better safe than sorry.
Also use them if youre having anal for the love of God PLS.
Big dick doesn't equal good dick, its about how they use it. If they don't know how to hit the right spots it doesn't matter how big you are. For some people big dicks cause pain actually esp if there's no foreplay.
Overstimulation doesn't always feel good like eventually it can hurt and not in a good way. Dont feel pressured to do it bc its supposed to be fun.
Similarly if you dont like being edged thats fine too.
In general just bc you like smth in fic does NOT mean you're gonna like it irl so like. Dont force anything. And make sure you can always back out when you want
Also feel this goes without saying but RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES TOO. This shit goes both ways even if youre the 'sub'
Masturbation can help you figure out what you like but its completely different when there's someone else there bc comfort is a huge part of arousal.
And lastly, you don't have to do ANYTHING until you're ready so don't rush into it bc I swear sex isn't worth it
A good source of sex ed is scarleteen pls go there and NOT tumblr for sex ed
Everyone feel free to add and minors pls dont read adult fic I beg you.
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opinions on riordanverse ; my edition
a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!
- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG
- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)
- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up
- PIPABETH
- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?
- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny
- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him
- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear
- luke didnt go to elysium
- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such
- tratie shldve been canon idc idc
- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.
- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing
- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks
- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone
- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while
- tkc and mcga need more love
- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes
- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was
- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute
- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own
- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND
- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.
- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.
“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below)
for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/
as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture
i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry
- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong.
- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up. the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic
i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more
#riodanverse opinions#frank zhang#hazel levesque#leo valdez#piper mclean#jason grace#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#tkc#the kane chronicles#mcga#magnus chase#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#pjo#pjato#hoo#Heroes of Olympus#the seven#octavian#luke castellan#meg mcaffrey#apollo#trials of apoll#travis stoll#connor stoll
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Yamaguchi is so underated,,,, I'll take anything. First date hc's, crush hc's, whatever you have in mind idc,,,,,just show him some love,,,, thabk you
omg man at this point anything tadashi is priority on the list
Gravity (Always Brings Me Back To You) — Yamaguchi Tadashi
You’ve known Yamaguchi your whole life
No, it’s not that whole cliché your-parents-are-best-friends trope nor is it that boy-next-door type of friendship
You’re Tsukishima’s best friend!!!
So after Yamaguchi starts hanging out with Tsukishima, the three of you instantly become inseparable
The summer before high school starts, and all three of you are attending Karasuno
You spend most of your summer outside of Japan, living your best life
Tsukishima doesn’t even bother asking how you’re doing, he just asks you to bring him back food
Yamaguchi, however, texts you everyday and always asks how you are and what you’ve been up to; probably sends pictures of Tsukishima and him everyday
Always up to greet you good morning and good night, always mentions how much he misses your company and that hanging around with Tsukki w/o you just isnt the same
Though you look at Yamaguchi as a friend, you can’t help but feel special whenever he mentions that he wants you back in their company
You don’t see each other until the first day of high school, and boy
Tadashi???? Has gone from boy to MAN
The amount this dude has grown over the summer is just?????? You used to be at par in terms of height, now he’s a whole 12000 feet taller than you
His features are a lot more prominent too not that you’re complaining
But this obviously is like the grounds for when you start thinking of Yamaguchi Tadashi as a man
These days as you hang out with Tadashi alone you really, really get to take a good look at his face, and wow—his face isn’t “that bad”
One time on the way home Kei had ditched the two of you since his mother picked him up
So it was just the two of you walking home alone; it was still fun even without Kei
He held your hand the whole way home; and though you didn’t know what that meant you still got butterflies just thinking that Yamaguchi Tadashi, man candy, Mr Good Looking, held hour hand and was conscious of doing it—wanted to do it too
Though with Tadashi suddenly hitting puberty also comes new feelings and perspectives for him
So the day Tadashi suddenly starts distancing himself from you you’re left confused and anxious
What did I do wrong? He seems fine whenever he’s around Tsukishima...have I changed ever since I came back?
Despite the sudden distance Tadashi never forgets to let you know he still cares
Buys you that bread you like from the caf whenever you forget to bring your lunch
Helps you study sometimes
Walks you home when Tsukishima can’t be bothered to
Lends you his jacket
But always looks away when you make eye contact
Stops talking to you outside of school (unless its for homework)
Gets awkward whenever you talk to Tsukishima and him
And you just can’t figure out why he’s being like this
So you decide to distance yourself too and start hanging around Yachi and Hinata instead of Tsukishima and Yamaguchi
But of course, we can always count on the reliable Tsukishima Kei, jack of all trades, master of none to patch things up when he’s tired of your bullshit
One day Tsukishima invites you over to his place
And of course you go, because you nd tsukki are still good friends
You do nothing but laze around with him the whole afternoon
Suddenly he pipes, “What is up with you and Yamaguchi? It’s starting to annoy me how distant you guys are being”
You give him a pointed look. “Nothing is going on between the two of us,” you sigh, and its only then that you realize how much you miss the freckled boy, “Yamaguchi just doesn’t like me anymore, I guess.”
He snorts and rolls his eyes, “You got that right.”
“Y’know if you invited me over just to insult me I might as well leave,” you stay sternly, and suddenly Kei is panicking, “I don’t know what the fuck you and Tadashi have been up to these days but if it’s shit like this then maybe I’m glad to have left the two of you alone.”
“What the fuck,” he says, and chases after you as you leave, “No, yn, jesus—yamaguchi just had some feelings he needs to sort out”
“He didn’t have to put that on me”
“Can you stop being difficult”
“No, let me go, I wanna go home”
“You literally live right next door”
“Exactly, I wanna go home”
“Hey.”
You turn to look him in the eye and soften once you realize he’s actually pleading for you to stay
“Listen to me,” he explains. “You can go home and be a brat and bitch and moan all you want—”
“i WILL”
“—but remember this,” he continues, “Yamaguchi has good reason for trying to avoid you...for now. He just needs to sort some of his feelings out.”
“Well, whatever feelings they are,” you pull your hand from his grasp, “you can tell him I don’t care about them at all.”
Great, you think to yourself, I’ve made things awkward for me, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima now.
One day you’re coming back from lunch with Yachi, and you make eye contact with Yamaguchi in the hallways
He tries his best to wave to you in the least bit of effort to say hey, we’re still friends—but realizes it might be too late when it’s you who finally decides to look away first
From that point on just tries his absolute best to reconcile with you
Leaves you little candies on your desk before school starts
Sometimes little notes like “You’re beautiful!” And “I love seeing you happy :)”
One day a note comes that says “You’re still my best friend” and you just start bawling
You just don’t know what you did wrong and you miss your friends
That same afternoon, when everyone leaves and it’s only you left to pack up in the classroom, Yamaguchi approaches you (albeit quite cautiously)
“Hey,” he starts, and it’s obvious he’s flustered by the way he rubs his nape, “Can we talk?”
“Oh,” you scoff, still keeping your stuff, “You wanna talk to me now?”
“Yn,” he calls, and looks you right in the eye as he says, “Don’t make this any harder than it’s supposed to be.”
“Motherfucker this is supposed to be hard on YOU??????????? you left ME, Tadashi! Remember that!!”
“Which is why I’m trying to make amends!” He explains, hands flailing nowhere. “Please. Let me explain.”
You look to the clock. It’s 5:25 pm.
“You have five minutes of my time.”
“You don’t need to worry,” he replies, “I only need two.”
lowkey your heart was THROBBING LIKE WHEN DID THIS SOCIALLY AWKWARD BOY LEARN TO MAKE MOVES LIKE DET DMFMFKEOWKE
“Ever since you came back home from Bali, or the Bahamas—wherever you went for summer—I started to look at you differently,” he starts, “I...I thought you were glowing, and suddenly every feature of yours was just so attractive to me I couldn’t handle it.
And you know, being without you for almost three months just made me realize that I really do like your company, and your stupid laugh and your lame jokes—it made me realize that I needed you in my life, yn. But all these feelings were just so weird—how could I be seeing my childhood best friend like the most beautiful person on earth?
So i tried to run away from them; I tried to run away from them by running away from you, in all hopes that they’d pass and we could go back to normal. But obviously; I was wrong. Being away from you just made my heart grow fonder, because whenever I saw you laugh I just thought to myself, that could have been something so good with me.
I like you, yn,” he states with all confidence he can muster, his olive tan skin glowing as it bathes in the evening sun, freckles dancing on the apples of his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose, and in that exact moment you can’t help but wonder how even after all this time, Yamaguchi Tadashi is the sweetest man of all. “I like you enough to think I actually love you.”
You blink; you feel like you’re about to cry.
Yamaguchi looks towards the clock, looks back to you and shrugs, “I’m sorry. I took three minutes.” He looks to you for a few moments before he clicks his tongue, and looks away. “Yeah, that’s all. You have every right to be mad at me, by the way—”
“Tadashi.”
“Hm?”
“Kiss me.”
His eyes widen, and a blush now develops on the apples of his cheeks, but Yamaguchi doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you and bring your lips to his.
Everything about Tadashi is just as you remembered; his cologne still smells like him, his skin soft and bouncy to the touch, his hair still the same smooth it once was, and Tadashi’s lips taste just like the ice cream you had when you first held his hand
Though a lot about Yamaguchi Tadashi has changed, you know in your heart that he’s still the same, sweet boy he always was.
He pulls away, but not exactly; his lips are still on yours, eyes still closed, his face close enough for you to feel his breath on your skin,
“I love you, yn,” he mumbles against your lips, “I want you to be mine,” he kisses,
“Today,” another,
“Tomorrow,” another,
“And all the days after that...”
Needless to say, that same afternoon Tadashi’s lips are swollen and his chest almost physically hurts from the fast beating of his heart,
But that’s okay, since he’s headed home with a heart and a hand full of you, you, only you.
#yamaguchi tadashi x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff#anime#headcanons#yamaguchi tadashi#x reader#fluff#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x reader headcanons#karasuno#haikyuu#angst#friends to lovers au#tsukishima kei#slowburn#haikyuu x reader#hq#sports anime#haikyuu writing#smau
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