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rainyfestivalsweets · 2 years

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9/29/22

Traveling day.

Made pretty good choices. Cleaned and ate before I left, watching Gotham. So hopefully I won't be going home to a pig sty.

I have continued to think about possible hangup and how to move past this plateau. 🤔

When I was in the 230's and 240's before, the [sic] love of my life started cheating on me with an 18 year old gastric bypass patient. It was hella traumatic. I lost everything. My heart was beyond broken. I ended up selling my house to her and leaving, basically losing the family I had fought so hard for.

I have felt untethered since then.

I did eventually remarry, so someone who basically loved me more than anything ever ( & got me fatter than ever) until they didn't--and some 21 year old puppy wannabe came along.

Got divorced. It was all chronicled on a blog that tumblr deleted. So again, thanks for that. I should have written it somewhere safe, because this wasn't and there was so so so much shit you guys.

So what was my takeaway from that? That my person will leave me if I become successful at weight loss??

How is that stopping me? My gf and I are not super serious. We don't have sex. We live separately. We actually seem better over the phone than in person. I struggle with their affection signals. [Sigh]

So why am I hung up here? How is that previous experience applicable to this situation?

It doesn't matter if she breaks up with me. Granted, I will be sad and lonely.... but it won't be fucking tragic.

So I am working on doing some mind reconditioning to change my inner language. Trying to redirect myself whenever I think bad thoughts. Honestly, I am just touch starved and body lonely. I can barely have an orgasm anymore, because I often start crying during, which probably doesn't fucking help.

It is safe for me to continue losing weight. I still have a large amount of fat. I will reconsider after dropping under 200 to see where I am with muscle mass. But I still have a rather large spare tire right now. So I know it isn't because I am in a physical danger zone. Mid 240s is still high for a female almost regardless of muscle mass.

So other wins: I am trying to concentrate on foods with lots of veggies, low calorie noodles, and protein.

So back to today- mostly good choices with the exception of breakfast. Which was a snickers and an apple while I cleaned my car. I had lunch before I left- which was veggies & gravy leftover from the other night, and a vegan harvest bowl. I gave the steak to mom to lower the cals for me. The bowl thing I bought a bunch of while they were on clearance and I wanted to try it. Small bowl of chickpeas and lentils in like a curry seasoning. 360 cals. So perfect to have with a veggie.

Road snacks. Drinks-- A pink Starburst crystal light thing, dt coke, cherry coke zero, and a pumpkin apple chai with fiber. Snacks-- Sweet c jelly, snow peas, carrot chips. Hard boiled eggs.

When I got to the hotel, I just got ready right away. Played in my phone a bit. Decided to wait to eat.

Went to an awesome show! It was great. No drinking, had a bottle of water.

Walked to the grocery store after. Bought 2 bananas, a pack of pickled green beans, and a cauli pizza bowl.

Ate a banana 🍌 right out of the store. Ate the pickled beans on the way back to the hotel.

Got back to the hotel, ate a salad first- but without most of the dressing.

Then ate my pizza bowl.

Took a bath and had 3 "moments."

Out of all the ways I could have undercut my healthy diet today, I think I won. No fast food. No drinking. Healthy food. Good choices all around except for the snickers. My workout was cleaning. I was sweating during but I wanted to be able to come home to a semi clean house.

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byeolgirl · 2 months

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A PROGRAM OF A HEALTHY DIET

(with idea)

- inspired by Korean idols !

By: ★﹕byeolgιrᥣ﹒

"Take care of yourself, That's the priority, You can only recieve love if you love yourself, I hope you think of yourself as a priority, Then people around you will love you"

- Jang Wonyoung

Breakfast:

1. Overnight oats with almond milk, chia seeds, sliced banana, and a drizzle of honey.

2. Whole grain cereal with skim milk, topped with mixed berries and a sprinkle of flaxseeds.

3. Veggie omelette made with bell peppers, onions, and mushrooms, served with whole grain toast.

4. Smoothie bowl with blended spinach, frozen mixed berries, Greek yogurt, and a handful of granola.

Mid-Morning Snack:

1. Sliced cucumber and cherry tomatoes with hummus.

2. Rice cakes with avocado mash and a sprinkle of black pepper.

3. Cottage cheese with sliced strawberries and a drizzle of balsamic glaze.

4. Whole grain crackers with tuna salad (made with Greek yogurt instead of mayo) and cucumber slices.

Lunch:

1. Quinoa salad with diced mango, black beans, diced bell peppers, and a lime vinaigrette dressing.

2. Whole wheat wrap filled with grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, avocado, and mustard.

3. Lentil soup with a side of mixed greens salad and a whole grain roll.

4. Brown rice bowl with stir-fried tofu, broccoli, carrots, and a teriyaki sauce.

Afternoon Snack:

1. Sliced apple with a spread of almond butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

2. Edamame beans sprinkled with sea salt.

3. Greek yogurt parfait with layers of granola, mixed berries, and a drizzle of honey.

4. Air-popped popcorn seasoned with nutritional yeast and smoked paprika.

Dinner:

1. Grilled shrimp skewers with quinoa pilaf and roasted Brussels sprouts.

2. Baked cod fillet with roasted sweet potatoes and steamed green beans.

3. Turkey chili served over baked sweet potatoes and topped with diced avocado.

4. Whole wheat pasta with marinara sauce, lean ground turkey, and sautéed spinach.

Evening Snack (optional):

1. Sliced pear with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a few squares of dark chocolate.

2. Celery sticks filled with almond butter and topped with raisins.

3. A small handful of mixed nuts (such as almonds, cashews, and pistachios).

4. Herbal tea with a squeeze of lemon and a small piece of cheese.

These meal ideas offer a variety of nutrients while keeping the overall calorie intake in check for a healthy and balanced diet.

#becoming that girl #glow up #wonyoungism #wonyoung #dream life #it girl #creator of my reality #divine feminine #it girl affirmations #love affirmations #weight loss diet #hacks #dream girl tips #stardiary #love yourself #photography #mental health

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vihisabelly · 23 days

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how to do a mental diet

write down your negative thoughts throughout the day, aiming for the date and time and replacing them with good affs

visualize! make a visionboard

have time to develop creativity and fun to keep the mood up

keep your brain active, study something you like, expand your knowledge

follow people who inspire you

watch positive content

by Nancy Loaiza in youtube :)

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sk1nnysworldsblog · 2 months

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Whoever tells u that u can’t lose 10 pounds a month, they are lying to u! U indeed can u just have to be consistent with it!

#eating d1sorder #i hate calories #diet #mentally disordered #weight loss tips #disordered eating mention #mentally drained #low cal restriction #thinspø

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grendel-menz · 1 year

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a diary of my diagnosis and treatment coming out in may

#art #my art #comic #diary #journal #gumroad #cw fatphobia #mental illness #schizo spectrum #cw weight loss discussion

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chaerrycoke05 · 1 month

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we1ghtlosz · 2 months

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Controlling what I eat because is the only thing I can control in my life

#weight loss #@na motivation #⭐️ ing motivation #i wanna lose weight #mental health #an@rexi@#⭐️rving

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thedeepestdarkness · 7 months

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Haha

I find it so funny when I search something about sh or depression or suicide or eds and google or tumblr is like are you okay? Why are you searching this? Here is a number to call if you want to fucking kill yourself... like bitch, of course I'm not okay, thanks very much for fucking asking...

#an0r3c1a #anaorxia #weight loss #tw disordered eating #ana trigger #self h@rm #mental health #self mutalition #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #depressing shit #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #sorry for being depressing #tw ana rant

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welcome2theinternet · 6 months

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Here's a fun idea. Don't comment on what people eat or if they're losing/gaining weight. Doesn't matter if you thought it was a compliment. You don't know why that may be happening. Some people lose weight when they're anxious or depressed (or of course suffering from an eating disorder). You may have meant well but it can be triggering or upsetting

#mental health #struggles #disordered eating mention #tw disordered eating #mental illness #weight loss #mental health issues #be kind #politeness #recovery #kindness

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lov3lyc4lori3s · 1 month

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Fat lasts longer than flavor.

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rosekasa · 3 months

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something that absolutely changed the way i approach goals was realising that it's never the thing that you want, but rather the feelings that you believe it will give you. without striving for those feelings, the thing is not going to make you happy.

for example, until i was eighteen i would daydream about having a Real Best Friend. like i wanted my disney channel bff you know?? and getting older felt a lot like 'okay it'll happen when i get to secondary school' 'okay it'll happen when i get to sixth form' 'okay it'll happen in fandom' and it just. never did. i kept getting sucked into friendships that made me feel shit about myself while all the people that seemed to want to be close to me would, for some reason, make me feel uncomfortable. but it was at the point where i was like, okay. what do i really want from a friend? is it the actual object of A Friend or is it what i feel like A Friend would allow me to do? so instead of looking for that Real Best Friend, i started allowing myself to feel like i deserved a Real Best Friend. i stopped deleting my messages even if i thought they were embarrassing, and i stopped worrying that people would think im annoying if i messaged them first, and i stopped being scared of being 'too much' whenever i shared my interests.

and you know what? within two months i GOT that Real Best Friend. within a few more i had Multiple of those Real Best Friends. it's been three years since that shift in my life and it's like All my friends are like my disney channel bff friends -- they genuinely care about me, they genuinely like me as a person, they invite me to their houses, they cook for me, they buy me random things when they think of me, and most of all they make me love myself more, when for my entire life the trade off for a friendship always felt like i had to hate myself a little.

idk. i just think it's worth remembering that the feeling of something is the most important thing to strive for. a thing without feeling is nothing

#this is... also VERY relevant to weight loss/diets #not gonna get into it too deeply but just like. if youre trying to lose weight #id really suggest you focus mostly on all the emotional/mental benefits you think being at your gw will give you #(e.g. confidence in a certain dress or not having to over think your snacks)#because trust me when i say if you hate yourself into getting to your goal weight you're still going to hate yourself at that weight #your mental state and your thought processes are like stained glass and they will colour whatever reality is in front of you #♡alizeh talks♡

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oceanwaves-xo · 11 months

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violet3447 · 10 days

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Guys im new to 3d tumblr and I need some advice ASAP.

I’ve lost loads of weight recently and my mum is starting to notice and I think she’s going to take me to get weighed at the doctors at some point. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON HOW TO WEIGH MORE AT THE DOCTORS SHE CANT KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT IVE LOST!! I don’t have any weights or anything I can put in my pockets so I might just stuff my pockets with stones and shit and hope that makes a difference???

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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So much love for the people out there who gained weight in recovery. It's not mentioned much (maybe even at all) that gaining weight is just as vital to one's journey as anything else recovery-related, and that's really heartbreaking. Recovery can look like weight gain, and I am proud of anybody who has discovered that their bodies have changed for the better because of recovery 💛

#mental health #mental health advocacy #recovery #weight tw #we must start viewing weight gain in recovery as just as good as weight loss in recovery actually 👍#weight loss is not the end-all-be-all for a recovery journey and nor *should* it be #glamourizing weight loss as the ~true~ sign that somebody is recovered from [x] is dangerous at best #so we need to be more... normal about how different people's recoveries will be different #have talked about this before but idc because this is important to me <<3 #i'm just tired of the idea that wellness must include somebody losing weight :/

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chaerrycoke05 · 1 month

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I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪

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caffinull · 6 months

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Just extreme calorie deficit things ✨

#tw #pro recovery #tw mental health #tw ana rant #anarecja #tw disordered thoughts #tw restrictive ed #derealization #tw depressing thoughts #weight loss

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