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#i mean that the rest is not. it’s very dark on the back roads
Indisposed (Noah Sebastian fanfiction) chapter five
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Autors note: i truly love yall's reactions to this story so far, it makes me laugh but also feel so happy as well 😂 :) also just a heads up a big part of this chapter is very nsfw, you have been warned gyuihojgv
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chapter five
My head is spinning with thoughts and my heart is racing with feelings and sadness, so with a sigh I grab my cigarettes and dark red lighter-of course the lighter Noah once gave to me when we had a smoke break together, and I forgot to bring mine, he told me I could keep it-to climb onto my window still, sit on  it, and light a cigarette. While doing so, I look outside, the wind softly blowing through my hair, staring at the moon at the midnight blue sky.
While I smoke, I am deep in thought. In a few hours, the world wakes up again, and I have to pretend that his night didn’t happen with Noah. That I am just his friendly friend-assistant that styles him and does his make up, nothing more. I have to pretend that I didn’t gain so many romantic feelings for him this night, we have to keep this night a secret and lock it up and never look at it again. But, am I capable of doing that?
I sigh when I put my cigarette out, breathing out the last bit of it out of the window. I decide to just climb into bed, to sleep and try to let this night pass as fast as possible. 
As I try to fall asleep, it takes me at least an hour, feeling restless and still thinking too much. But after laying sleepless for a while, I finally, slowly, with pain around my heart, fall asleep.
The next morning arrives, and I groan when I try to put the alarm from my phone off. I sigh, rub my eyes, and stare at the ceiling for a while.
Immediately flashes of last night fill my mind-the afterparty, drunkenly stumbling into my hotel room with Noah, us talking, teasing each other, getting close, and finally having sex. And after that, the most intense conversation with him followed, the most emotional and heartfelt eye contact with him… making me realize I have completely and utterly fallen in love with Noah.
As the time passes, I blink and awake myself from my thoughts again, realizing I really have to get out of bed now. In a hurry, I get everything back into my suitcase, and when I get to the bathroom, last night fills my mind again. Noah standing behind me when I didn’t realize he had entered the bathroom, him teasing me, me teasing him back and making the first move, him seeing me naked for the first time… and of course everything that happened after that fills my mind again. 
I shake my head, cursing, telling myself that I need to focus, and begin to brush my hair, putting in a headband to keep my hair out of my face and brush my teeth afterwards. I clean it up when I’m done and put all my stuff from my bathroom back into my suitcase as well. 
I sigh deeply while I walk into the sleeping era from my hotel room again. I look into my suitcase, deciding what I can wear when we go back on the road again. My eyes get stuck on a black hoodie, a black hoodie Noah once gave to me when I was cold and had nothing warm to wear. I grab it, and can’t help but push my nose into it, and get a warm feeling inside when it smells just like him.
I also can’t help but put his hoodie on, it’s just too soft and comfortable… and at least his scent will be around me the whole time like a warm hug, a warm hug I can’t get from himself. When I’ve also put on jeans and my sneakers, I sigh nervously. There is one thing left to do… and that’s getting breakfast. But the thing that makes me so nervous about it… is that I always get breakfast with the band. Which means I have to face Noah again.
With a racing heart, I make my way towards the breakfast cafe after locking the door behind me. I nervously play with my fingers before I take a deep breath, walking towards the table where Noah and the rest of the band are already sitting. Okay, I got this. Just play it cool…
Noah is seated at the table with the others, all of them chatting and laughing with each other as usual, but he doesn’t seem engaged at all, which breaks my heart a little. His eyes then notice me walking up, but I can see that he pretends to sip his coffee like everything was normal.
`Hey, there she is!´ Nick already greets me, and I try to smile back as warmly as his voice sounds. I sit down at the table next to Nicholas, Jolly and Nick sit in front of us and Noah sits at the end of the table next to me. I can’t help but feel my own heart sink when Noah continues sipping his coffee, saying nothing to me,
`Goodmorning, Nick,´ I greet him back, forcing myself to smile.
`How’d you get any sleep?´ Nick asks me.
`It was… okay,´ I lie.
`Yeah, I know it was a hell of a party last night. You drank so much, ha-ha,´ Nick responds with a laugh.
I hear Jolly chuckle next to him, and he and Nick give each other a curtain look and smirk, and I raise my eyebrows a bit.
`Uh, yeah, let myself go there a little,´ I laugh awkwardly.
When Jolly and Nick keep giving each other looks and grins, I narrow my eyes.
`What’s so funny?´ I ask them.
`Nothing, Hailey, ignore those two children,´ Nicholas says while rolling his eyes, putting his fork down and poking Nick in his side after.
`Okay…´ I say with confusion, trying to eat some food, hoping that it will work with my nerves and all.
`It’s just that…´ Nick starts, making Jolly snort.
`Nick, no,´ Nicholas hisses, making Nick roll his eyes and laugh.
`What? If we weren’t supposed to know or say anything, why were they so loud last night?´ Nick says while shrugging. 
I now look at Noah, hoping he understands any of this inside joke of theirs. His jaw tenses again, and he turns his head to glare at Nick to mumble under his breath: `Shut the hell up Nick…´
`Ah, c’mon man, we are happy that you two finally took the step,´ Nick says with a laugh, and my heart stops beating for a second while my head slowly turns red.
Oh no. Is that where this is all about…?
`Yeah, like, how long have you two been circling around each other now? Months?´ Jolly adds.
Noah’s jaw is starting to clench even more, his fist slightly clenching now as well. `I said, shut up…´ he says through gritted teeth, his gaze now growing even angrier at both Nick and Jolly. I begin to feel really, really uncomfortable.
`Nick, Jolly, shut the fuck up please,´ Nicholas says with annoyance, then looking at me and Noah with a worried look. Nicholas has always been the most mature, calm and caring person of the band, which is why he has become such a good friend and person to talk to through the past half year.
I just stare at my plate in embarrassment, and Nick and Jolly just mumble to each other underneath their breath, and I try my best to ignore it, unable to speak or move. I just keep on staring at my plate with the minutes ticking by, not knowing what to do, and I just cannot look at Noah at all right now-the whole table just turned silent and awkward.
I can feel Noah suddenly staring at me, and it all just becomes too much. `Excuse me,´ I mumble when I abruptly stand up, my chair slightly squeaking against the floor when I do so. I start walking away at a fast pace, desperately needing some fresh air in my lungs.
`I told you guys to just shut up about it. My god,´ I can still hear Nicholas mumble when I walk away, and when I hear  another chair squeak, I know that Noah is following me.
I just walk out of the breakfast cafe at the first exit I see, entering a sort of garden visitors can sit in, full of long, bright trees, and colorful, big bright flowers. I spot a wooden bench in the middle of the small garden, tiles clicking underneath my sneakers when I walk towards it to sit down, trying to catch my breath properly.
I can see a shadow hovering over me, and when I look up I see Noah standing in front of me, the sun behind him shining on his soft brown hair, and I swallow. `Hi,´ I greet him quietly.
For a while, Noah just stands there, staring at me for a moment. His eyes seem hurt but also soft as he notices me wearing the hoodie he once gave to me. ‘Hey,’ he then finally responds, his voice soft and quiet.
‘How did you sleep?’ I manage to ask him.
‘Like the dead,’ he honestly answers me. ‘Although… I didn’t exactly wake up very well this morning….’
Noah’s eyes are avoiding mine a bit now, and I begin playing with the strings of his hoodie again. ‘Me neither,’ I sigh, and his head lowers a little when he hears my response.
‘We have to hit the road again in a few hours,’ I then say, trying to talk to him in a way I would normally do as he sits next to me on the wooden bench, because we have to pretend like nothing happened last night either way… right?
He looks away for a brief second, seeming to try to keep his emotions for himself and unexposed to me. ‘Uhm, yeah… right. The venue is only about an hour away, as I heard.’
‘Yeah… I’ve seen the schedule. So, since the venue will be more warm tonight, I’ve been thinking about changing some things about your guys outfits for tonight-not in a dramatic way or something, don’t worry. But since at some point you wear that black blouse, right, I’ve been thinking of giving you a black t-shirt underneath it for when it gets warm and you decide to take it off if you want to, maybe that one with the Bad Omens logo at the corner top? I don’t know yet,’ I just ramble on, trying to act as normally and casually as possible, as if today will be a normal day again. 
Noah nods. ‘Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. That black t-shirt is a staple for sure. I like that one…’
‘Great. I’ll make sure it will be ready in your dressing room tonight.’ I try to sound enthusiastic, but know I fail a little. After that I just get quiet, not really knowing what to say anymore. I really suck at pretending.
I can feel him staring at me when I look down at my own hands, and I hear him take a deep breath, as if he needed to give himself courage, when he quietly asks me: ‘So… you’re going to be… normal with me now?’
‘I mean… I have no choice right?’ I ask him with a sad smile, a pang shooting me through the chest. ‘Show must go on. I’ll just be part of your team again… dress and style you... and that’s it. How it always has been.’
At first he can’t really respond to that, looking conflicted with himself and the situation, his fist slightly clenched. ‘Yeah… Guess so,’ he just mumbles, his head now turning away from mine.
My heart aches when I see him like this,  so defeated, and clearly equally as sad about this whole situation as me. This isn’t how my teasing, joking, exciting and beaming Noah normally is around me… and it breaks my heart. His arms are crossed as he now looks at the sky.
‘I hope you know that…’ I sigh, struggling with finding the right words. ‘Last night wasn’t just nothing to me, Noah. It truly has been the best intimate moment I’ve ever had with someone,’ I gulp, trying to get myself to stay calm. ‘It’s just… with my and your position… I guess we just can’t.’
I get sad when he still doesn’t look back at me, and my hand slowly moves towards his knee… to just let it rest there in a gesturing manner… but I decide that that will only make things harder for us, so I just pull my hand back again. 
‘I just… don’t know what else to say,’ I say with a hoarse voice, still hoping he will look back at me, but he still doesn’t while staying quiet. So I just slowly nod, standing up again. ‘I’ll be on the tour bus, we are about to leave in…’ I look at my watch, and sigh. ‘Half an hour.’
Noah just nods, still not facing me. ‘I’ll see you…’ he whispers, sounding like his voice is about to crack. 
It hurts, it hurts so much that that’s the only response I get from him. Is that really all he has to say to me? After all that I just said to him?
`Yeah, see you,’ I mumble back, sounding hurt and frustrated, slowly walking away from him.
‘No wait-please don’t,’ I hear Noah whisper behind me, his voice sounding broken and desperate. I immediately turn around when I finally hear him speak, and my heart shatters when I see him this vulnerable, this broken, filled with tears in his eyes. I can’t help but walk back to him and quickly wrap my arms around him, his head leaning into my chest because of that, my hands stroking his hair gently and carefully.
It feels like his body almost collapses in my embrace when he feels my arms wrapped around him, and his own arms wrap around my waist so tightly in a quick response, and I feel his tears soaking up my hoodie. I try to hold back my own tears, and it feels like Noah breaking down to me like this has to something more than just last night. I do remember him sometimes vaguely telling me that he has moments where he feels very alone during tour, missing his friends and family he always has to leave behind while going on the road. That he sometimes misses someone around him, especially when he’s all alone and has to sleep in a strange hotel room. And when a band member joins him to share a room, it just doesn’t help, and it isn’t what he needs either… Is that why he is reacting so emotionally and sad about our situation? 
Noah clings onto me tightly, not letting me go for even a second. He holds onto me like he never wants to let me go, like he can’t let me go, and it breaks my soul. He just keeps on sobbing in my hoodie.
‘Hey… it's okay,’ I whisper to him while still gently stroking his hair. ‘It’s okay, you’re not alone,’ I add, knowing and sometimes noticing how alone he can feel during tour, it matching the words I just thought about, knowing that last night probably meant a lot to him… because for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t alone, and someone was loving and touching him, caring for him… really seeing him. 
And I can’t help but feel the same way-tour and being on the road for the first time away from my friends and family has been very lonely for me as well. And that’s why I’m so glad that Noah and I started to get along so well, it was very helpful to get through the hard and lonely moments. And now that last night happened… I truly felt so complete and seen by him, so adored, so beautiful and sexy, and wanted… A feeling I haven’t felt in a long time-maybe never…
Noah’s grip just strengthens so much after my caring whispers to him, and he holds on tighter to my hoodie, his tears still soaking into the black fabric. ‘But… I feel so alone,’ he mutters between sobs between his tears, his whole body trembling so much in my embrace as his tears just keep flowing. He clings onto me with such need, such heartbreak, and fear. 
‘I know, I know,’ I say, leaning my head on top of his soft hair. ‘But you’re not. As long as I’m here, you’re not.’
Hearing my words makes Noah’s body shake so much with emotions that I myself have to hold him even tighter, his body getting unstable because of his heartbreaking sobs. My heart breaks into a million pieces for this man I’ve begun to care so much about in such a short time, and I’ve completely fallen for since last night. I have never seen him like this, so broken and desperate for love, reassurance and care-he normally puts on such a brave face to everyone. 
‘I’m here, I won’t leave,’ I whisper back, still stroking his hair, hoping and praying that I can keep my promise to him.
‘Please hold me… I need you to hold me,’ Noah then mumbles between his tears, his words cracking as he speaks.
‘I’m here, holding you as long as you need,’ I softly and warmly say to him, my arms wrapping tighter around him. His head is still gently resting on my chest as he lets out his suffering and hurt. 
After a minute of two, Noah’s sobs begin to slow down, his body shaking less and less, but he still holds into me. His sobs gradually become soft breathing and he then lets out a content sigh, and gently rubs the tip of his nose into my chest, nuzzling to me with absolute affection. My heart completely explodes, being overflowed with all kinds of emotions for him. I gently press a kiss on his head, slightly blushing while doing so.
He then gently rubs his cheek against my chest, feeling comfortable in my arms, and we both don’t yet want to move, just relishing in this moment of intimacy. Minutes pass by, us just being intertwined and connected like this, my arms wrapped around him and Noah's face buried in my chest while I can feel his breathing slow down and become peaceful again. 
‘Noah,’ I then whisper, ‘I hate to say this, but it’s time to go. We have to get ready to leave with the bus.’
He doesn’t respond to my words, at least not at first. But after a few moments, he just finally mutters out quietly: ‘Do we have to?’
That makes me chuckle, and I shake my head while doing so. ‘Yeah, silly, we have to go. The venue is an hour away and we have to get everything ready in time.’
Nah holds me for just a few moments longer, making my heart feel warm by the way he still wants to hold me so close to him, before he slowly tilts his head from my chest and raises it to look at me with reddened, but calm eyes now, and a soft smile on his handsome face. 
‘One more minute?’ he pleads to me quietly, and I smile back at him, he is adorable like that, I can’t lie.
‘I wish we could have that one minute, but we really have to go I fear,’ I respond, but I do give him a small peck on his lips. 
Then, he slowly pulls back from me, and looks into my eyes. `Okay… I guess it’s time,’ he murmurs quietly, a small smile still left on his lips from my kiss. 
‘Let's go,’ I smile and I hold out my hand for him, which he takes when he stands up again. He squeezes my small hand compared to his large one, and then with the faintest smile left on his face he takes a deep breath, exhales, and gently starts walking with me towards the tour bus. I also try to keep the most stable expression on my face, my heart and body already missing his embrace, and I have the feeling that I’m not the only one feeling that way. 
The crew has already loaded in our suitcases, and I can notice that some crew members give us puzzled (and some worried, since you can still tell that Noah cried) looks when they see us holding hands. But lucky for us, they don’t ask us questions, and I feel quite relieved by that.
When we step into the tour bus, Nicholas is the first person who spots us, looking at Noah and me in worry when he also sees that Noah has cried. Noah excuses himself to the toilet, probably to freshen up, and that makes me sit next to Nicholas with a deep sigh. I have to admit, right now I’m kinda glad that Nick and Jolly are probably asleep in the back of the bus. Don’t get me wrong, I know they can be very caring as well, but one wrong comment and Noah would probably lose it.
‘What’s up?’ Nicholas asks me immediately when I sit down, and I bite my lip. Nicholas has always been a good and sweet person to me, always listening to me when I have worries, and giving me the best piece of advice. He has opened me with warm and open arms since the beginning of working for the band, and for that I will always be thankful. He truly became a good friend. 
But can I share this secret with him though? I mean, since what happened this morning at breakfast, it obviously isn’t a secret to the band anymore that me and Noah have slept together. But… it has become more than just that. 
‘Noah just has a hard time on tour sometimes, missing his family and all, it’s making him feel a bit lonely sometimes,’ I just respond. I mean, it's half of the truth, but the truth that he probably already knew.
‘Oh,’ Nicholas responds quietly, giving me a soft and empathetic look. ‘Yeah, I know that he can struggle quite a lot with that.’
But his look is pushing me towards the truth, towards the one thing that is bothering me-something that Nicholas has always been very good at. Goddamnit. 
‘Here’s the thing…’ I begin with a sigh. ‘Me and Noah… we slept together. It’s just… I fear it began feeling more than just sex to us as the night went on,’ I explain, my cheeks turning a little red as I do so. Nicholas ’eyes widen a bit at my revelation, making my stomach flip a little with nerves.
 ‘I see,’ he finally responds calmly after seeming to have progressed a bit from what I have been saying.
‘I know! I know, it’s messed up,’ I groan, leaning my head against the window next to me with my eyes squeezed shut.
‘May I ask why you two slept together?’ Nicholas then probes gently, after a moment of silence.
My eyes flutter open again  and I think about his question for a moment. ‘Well… ever since I joined the team, and got to know Noah… there has been something between us. Some kind of tension. Teasing, joking… At some point some flirting got involved. Like, I guess we always had mutual attraction to one another, and we always get along so well. And if I’m being honest… because of the way has looked at me before, and acted towards me before-and me probably as well-we wanted to have this moment way, way earlier. But we never really got the chance… until last night.’ I sadly smile while thinking back at it. ‘And… I guess a lot of feelings got involved.’
Nicholas just listens to me intently, silently listening to me explaining everything in a complete and true way. Of course, he can tell that I’m not done talking, and holding something back.
‘Do you think Noah has feelings for you, too?’ he then finally quietly asks me.
I shrug, playing with the strings of Noah’s sweater again, it’s really turning into a nervous habitat now. ‘I don’t know… I mean, it seems like it?’
Nicholas just studies my face intently again, knowing exactly where my mind is going at this moment, as always. He can probably see my confusion, the doubt, the anxiety, the questions all flashing through my face like some giant, confusing and overwhelming storm. He moves closer to me, and places his warm hand on my shoulder as reassurance and care. 
‘It's just… It's not fucking fair,’ I say, a tear now escaping from my eye. ‘Like.. I have the feeling like I have finally found that special person everyone always writes songs and movies about, y’know? In the span of just one fucking night. Then why does my job position have to make this so complicated?’
Nicholas still holds onto my shoulder and rubs it comfortingly when he sees tears now sliding down my cheeks from both my eyes, as a complete wave of sadness and despair probably wash over my face while I speak. His face is completely solemn at the moment, but then he finally soothingly mutters to me: ‘I know…’
I now fully turn my body to him as I begin to speak again, looking at him with curiosity. ‘I mean… It’s not like something like this is forbidden, right? I think I’ve seen some other artists that dated a team member before… or would we come into trouble with our management or something? What do you think?’
I know I must sound completely desperate now, desperate for that one good, hopeful answer from him that can indeed confirm that what Noah and I are doing isn't wrong and can be allowed, and to be honest, I am indeed desperate for that answer. Nicholas takes a deep, contemplative breath as he thinks for a moment, and looks into my eyes while thinking out loud. 
‘Well, honestly… I don’t think there is an official rule against the lead being with someone from the team. I’ve indeed seen it happen as well… But I know that management isn’t going to be really happy about it if it gets out. So, probably, you have to keep things really quiet-like, low profile, and under wraps. They’re gonna want to keep the whole image and reputation of the band squeaky clean.’
I am very close to answering him that I could totally do that out of the utter desperation for Noah and getting to be with him, but honestly… could I? Could we? Having to live in a secret and pretend to the band’s audience-and the rest of the world-that nothing’s going on between me and Noah? What if paparazzi or news reporters ask about Noah’s love life? What would he have to answer every single time?
Nicholas now squeezes my shoulder gently as a way of comforting me as he can see the anxiousness now growing on my face, taking in everything he just informed me, and going through a whole mental wave of doubts and concerns on how to handle things. ‘Look, it's gonna be okay. You guys can make it work, if you really want to, and if you two really care about each other enough… It’s just probably gonna take some patience,’ he mutters to me, calmly as always.
‘But… how do I know Noah even wants to go that way with me?’
Nicholas just looks gently into my worried eyes, thinking for a moment. He then responds: ‘The only thing I can honestly say… Is that time will tell. You two will have to get the chance to talk about all of this sooner or later. Then just see what happens from there.’
I nod, quickly wiping away a few tears that still hang on my chin, looking at him with a soft and thankful smile. ‘Thank you so much, Nicholas, truly.’
And just after I say that I can see Noah appear out of the toilet again, making my stomach flip. I wonder if he could have picked anything up from me and Nicholas’ conversation while he was in there, but I just hope he didn’t. He notices us sitting together as he is walking towards us, and I smile kindly at him.
‘Hi Noah,’ I sweetly greet him with a soft voice, while Nicholas gets up so Noah can sit next to me now, patting Noah on the back with a sweet and reassuring smile.
‘Hi yourself,’ Noah smiles back at me, sitting next to me on the couch, giving me a gentle kiss on the cheek. The gesture is quite unexpected to me, so I blush.
‘How are you feeling now?’ I ask.
‘Bit better,’ Noah responds with a genuine, comforting smile, and I hope that it’s at least half of the truth. 
‘I’m glad,’ I say, patting his knee with my hand before looking out of the window again, admiring the view as we drive. Since going on tour with the band, I have come across so many places I have never been to before in the US, a country I haven't been born and raised in. I was born and raised in a small, religious town in the United Kingdom, and trust me when I say I have never felt this free before.
I can feel Noah stare at me, so I look back at him with a small grin. ‘Enjoying the view, hm?’ I say, and I can’t help but tease him a little again.
Noah looks at me like he has been caught in the act for a moment, but then his eyes light up with a smirk at my tease with a nod. ‘ Very much,’ he says, before leaning forward a bit.
‘The view sitting right next to me is actually absolutely breathtaking,’ he adds with an even bigger smirk, as I realize that he’s talking about me.
My heart races when I hear his smooth compliment, and I smirk back just as big. ‘Wow, well thank you,’ I say, playfully tucking my hair behind my ears.
‘You’re very welcome,’ Noah grins while nodding again, the playful flirtation between us starting to flow again. His gaze now trails from my face down to my neck, to his long and to me oversized sweater hanging on my body, a smirk playing at his face.
I blush, remembering I haven’t talked about his hoodie yet. ‘Yeah, I saw it in my suitcase… it’s just comfortable okay…’
A grin lights up Noah’s face as he sees my face getting a redder color again. ‘Hey, you don’t have to justify or explain yourself to me… I think it looks great on you.’
I smile shyly at him. ‘Thank you,’ I say, and then let out a quick laugh. Noah looks at me with a questioning look, and I shake my head when I laugh yet again. 
‘Nothing… I just… For some reason I just pictured you in a tank top of my own. Don’t think that one is gonna fit you,’ I snort.
Noah chuckles when I snort. ‘Oh yeah? Never thought of me as a tank top kinda guy?’ he teases, and it seems like he is smirking more and more at my funny imagination. 
‘It’s just…’ I can’t even finish when my laughter just becomes more. My god, I can really laugh at the most unserious and pointless stuff. ‘That's not it. Noah, our sizes are quite different, so…’ I just burst out laughter while I keep shaking my head, my eyes squeezing shut and my hand on my stomach.
Noah joins my laughter as I can’t even finish my sentence, and he then scans over his own large, tall body, and my smaller, curvy frame, and he seems to can’t help and smirk even more.
‘Yeah… We might have just a tiny size difference, huh?’ he jokes between laughs. 
‘Just a little,’  I giggle, hitting my fist lightly at his arm brushing against mine next to his and Noah grins again.
‘You are so tiny. Compared to my tall, hot self, of course,’ he teases, playfully pulling me closer and wrapping his large, strong arms around me. My eyebrows raise, now smirking back at him.
‘Oh yeah, yeah. You’re such a big guy,’ I wink.
His grin only turns bigger as he feels my body moving closer to his as well, wrapping his whole arm around my waist now and leaning us back into the couch with me in his arms, a sexy smug smile on his face.
‘Damn right I am…’ he chuckles, letting his fingers run underneath his hoodie I am wearing, sliding under the material from the inside as they trail gently up my bare stomach. And he makes it do all kinds of flips the moment his fingers touch my skin, my heart pounding loudly in my own ears.
‘Oh, I know. I think I remember seeing it last night,’ I smirk, obviously talking about something else than just him being tall.
Noah smirks even more now as he sees my stomach muscles involuntarily flex at his light, trailing touch under the fabric I’m wearing, his fingers sliding up higher and higher, right up my stomach’s middle. He looks into my eyes with that same, seductive gaze, his face now just inches from mine as he lets out a small chuckle. 
‘Oh, really now?’ he murmurs softly, his voice smooth and low right next to my ear.
‘Hmhm,’ I hum in response, going absolutely insane from his touch and voice alone, but I try my best to not let him notice. ‘I even remember it feeling quite good inside of me.’
Noah's breath now grows heavier as he smirks once more, his eyes now darkened, and he now slides his palm under the middle of my stomach in a slow, gentle caress. ‘What else do you remember…?’ he whispers next to my ear, his voice low and huskier than ever.
 ‘I also remember my hand wrapping around it at some point… my mouth,’ I whisper back in his ear, teasing him just as much back with my words alone.
I can feel his pants becoming tight at my words, and he lets out a low growl as he slides his hand a little higher under my hoodie, feeling the soft skin of my body. ‘I think you might have to go into a little more detail with all that,’ he rasps in my ear, his warm breath hitting my sensitive skin as he lets out that sexy growl, his breathing heavier again as he lets his fingers slide higher, and higher. 
I bite my lip when his lips trail over my neck, almost wanting to let out a small whimper, so I close my eyes. ‘Well… I also remember you inside of me… me on top of you, riding you until I left you quite breathless,’ I whisper back into Noah’s ear, leaving a small kiss on his own neck after.
He grabs my body even more tightly against him in his strong arms, as if he's gonna explode from the intense desire that shot through his body from my seductive words I whispered into his ear. His breathing only grows heavier and faster in this moment, and I feel my own breathing rising up as well. 
‘Fuck,’ he groans softly, low, and husky-voiced in my ear, as his fingers slide into the middle of my stomach now.
‘Do my words affect you, big boy?’ I can’t help but teasingly ask him with a smirk, looking him right into his eyes while doing so.
Noah’s eyes are even darker with lust in this moment, groaning again when he gets called like that by me. ‘You know they do,’ he quietly says, his gaze so intense that I can almost feel it burning into me.
‘Hmm. Good, good,’ I smile evilly while looking at his lips, licking my own after. 
He now lets his hand slide slowly and more intensely up the skin of my bare stomach underneath my sweater, feeling me and almost pulling me in with his fingers, trying to get me as close as possible in my current position. His eyes don’t even waver as they remain firmly set into mine, and they look so intense, and dark.
‘You have no idea how badly I want you right now,’ he almost whispers in a moan.
His words and fingers on my stomach alone already make me feel so damp down there, and God, I want him so bad too. ‘Hmm… I guess you have to be a little patient until we arrive, Noah. You can’t just fuck me right here on the couch from the tour bus, can you now?’ I smirk, daringly. ‘What might the others think…?’
Noah lets out a chuckle that’s mixed with a low groan, his breaths still coming at a panting rate as his eyes now grow with even more lust. ‘You're so naughty…,’ he chuckles, now pulling me even closer to his body in his arms.
‘They all sound asleep so don’t worry about them. I can be very quiet,’ he shrugs with a smirk, as his fingers now trail up and down my bare skin again.
‘But can I, though?’ I smile innocently, now leaning towards his ear again. ‘You know how loud I can be when you fuck me so good like last night, right?’ I whisper hoarse and seductively into his ear again. 
‘Mhm,’ he whispers in agreement, still trailing his fingers up and down, now having his large palm slide under you, almost grabbing my skin from behind, as he brings his face more into my shoulder just under my neck. His hand is now slowly palming my damp era, making me have to bite my lip to hold back a moan. 
His gaze now looks dark and seductive when he sees me doing that, and he chuckles quietly against my neck. ‘So you’re getting all wet for me already, huh?’ he murmurs low and quiet, his voice deep as he brushes his nose over my neck.
His words alone drive me insane again, making me get even wetter. The palm of his hand is slowly getting replaced by his fingers, and I have to place my hand on my mouth to silence my whimpers and moans. Noah moans low to the sight of that and the feeling of my wetness around his fingers.
‘That’s a good girl…’ he whispers lowly, his low moans and groans right against my skin as he kisses the sensitive skin of my neck. ‘You’re being so good for me...’
For fucks sake, he makes it really hard to not scream his name and come all over his fingers already, so I just grind my hips against them and close my eyes as I arch my back, trying to hold back my climax. His touch feels way, way too good.
‘Don’t hold back, sweetheart,’ he whispers against my skin when he can feel me hold back, and I just nod, biting the inside of my hand, still grinding against his fingers.
‘I… I just don’t want to wake up the others,’ I whimper against my hand.
Noah chuckles softly, knowing very well that I need and want all of my senses right now, and not worrying about anything else. 
‘If you’re being too loud they can only blame themselves for being light sleepers, right?’ he teasingly jokes, and I just nod while I squeal, his fingers only moving faster and more intensely. The way he kisses my neck again makes it impossible for me to hold my climax back, so I stop fighting it and moan loudly against my hand. 
Noah feels me tense up in his arms, my body almost frozen as I arch my back, and he grins against my neck as my breathing grows faster when I come. When it slowly slows down again, he asks me: ‘Did you just…?’
‘Yeah,’ I breathe back with a sly smile, making him chuckle and smirk against my neck again as he lifts his head and moves closer to my face, his gaze still dark and filled with desire.
‘I did wonder why you covered up your mouth for a moment,’ he softly laughs, trailing his fingers up and down my sensitive skin for a moment again, before he pulls me into his chest. 
‘Well, I can be loud as fuck, duh,’ I playfully respond while rolling my eyes. 
He smirks again, kissing my neck while doing so, his hands still trailing up and down my sides and skin. ‘You certainly can…’ he murmurs against my neck, letting his lips trail lightly and kissing his way down my sensitive skin. I enjoy them, and sigh deeply out of pleasure. 
His touch is still slow and gentle, but his kisses become more intense as he lets them trail, and I then feel him tuck at my sweater, making me now chuckle myself. ‘You really want to go for it and take the risk of getting caught, don’t you?'
He just nods and smirks when I ask him that question. ‘You could hardly hold yourself back there, love…’ he whispers in reply as he tugs my sweater up to pull it off my body. Since I wear no bra underneath it, my breasts are already exposed to him right away. 
He lets the sweater fall on the floor, and stares at my body in front of him, completely speechless for a second when he looks at me with amazement. It takes a moment for him to find his words again, looking me up and down while drinking in my appearance in front of him, looking like he is completely mesmerized by it. ‘Oh, God… You’re so…’
I tilt my head, so my soft wavy hair falls over my shoulders a little. ‘I’m so… what?’ I smirk. 
‘You’re just… so goddamn beautiful,’ he whispers quietly, almost more to himself than to you when he does, his eyes just fixed on my bare chest in front of him.
My heart skips a beat for a moment through hearing those words, and I slightly blush. In response to his compliment, I wrap my hands around his neck, giving him a deep kiss. Noah lets out a quiet groan when he feels me do so, and he immediately returns the kiss hungirly, pressing his lips against mine in a passionate way. He wraps his own arms around my waist, pulling me against his chest again. 
I slightly groan during our kiss when he starts squeezing my behind, making me tuck at his hair. He does the same when he feels my hands move into his hair, feeling that he gets goosebumps because of it. He moves my body even closer, shifting his body to let me straddle him on his lap, my bare chest pressing up against his still fully dressed one as I continue my heated, hungry kiss. I then tuck at his own shirt, and that makes him pull his lips from mine, leaning back against the couch, smirking at me. 
‘Looks like you want to take some of my clothes off too, huh?’ he laughs with a mischievous grin.
‘Maybe I want to admire your beauty as well,’ I wink.
He smirks at my response, and just watches me as I start to pull his shirt off his body in one smooth motion, revealing his lean yet defined tattooed body and the defined v-lines on his lower abdomen. He grins when he notices me taking him in with my gaze, clearly loving that I have my eyes on him like that. He is so attractive and hot, it just makes me grab his face again and kiss him passionately. He lets out another groan, this one sounding even more deeper and intense. My whole body turns hot for him, so I begin to tuck at the belt from his pants as well during our kiss. He pulls back from our kiss again with a smirk against my lips. He gently grabs my hands from tugging at the belt of his pants, and pins my hands to the back of the couch above my head.
‘Ah ah ah… Patience,’ he whispers against my lips, ‘let me help you with that.’
Him pinning his hands above my head only makes the moment hotter for me, so I bite my lip in response as I watch him undo his belt. He manages to undo his belt without having to let go of my hands, and grins at my expression as he pulls the belt off and lets it fall to the side of the couch.
I begin to smirk as I see his growing bulge in his underwear, and say: ‘And you tell me that I get wet easily…’
Noah lets out a chuckle, as he lets one of my hands go from where he pinned them just to grab my chin and tip it up. He pulls me in for another deep kiss, moving his hand from my chin down to start exploring the skin of my breasts now, caressing my soft skin. I whimper when he does that, enjoying the feeling, and I pull his own underwear off with my own, getting a little inpatient as I feel my wet spot ache for him. As I do so, he groans loudly against my lips at that moment, the sound so deep and intense, already giving away for me how much he’s enjoying it and how much his body wants me too.
‘Oh God, I need you so bad right now,’ he whispers against my lips, trailing his tongue along my lower lip at that moment, sending a heat of pleasure for him shooting through my chest and stomach. 
And Jesus, I didn’t know that our intimate moments could get any hotter than last night, but here we fucking are. I get wetter by the second, and open my mouth in response to his tongue to let him kiss me deeply and hungirly. 
‘You can have me,’ I mumble against his lips. He just holds me, my body straddling his lap as his hands hold my waist tightly, dancing with my tongue in an already hungry, but intense kiss. 
I groan because of the way we kiss so intensely, and my body needs him so badly at this point that I decide to not wait any longer, so I slowly let him enter me while I put his tip against me. Noah’s breathing instantly grows heavier as he lets out a moan in his throat when he feels me do that. He pulls from my kiss for a moment, his eyes fixed on me in the moment.
‘You feel so good…’ he whispers hoarsely and quietly against my lips, his fingers already gently holding my waist tightly while guiding his body on his lap.
‘Mhm,’ I hum against his neck as I lean my head there, starting to rock back and forth on his lap, already drunk of desire by his touch and his length inside of me. He lets me lead the pace for a moment, closing his eyes and letting out a groan, tilting his head when he seems to enjoy the feeling while I move on him. 
‘I love riding you, you know that?’ I say to him with a hoarse and seductive voice, placing a kiss on his neck and jaw. ‘Seeing you crumble underneath my touch and all,’ I smirk mischievously.
He lets out another groan as a smirk is also growing on his face, and then chuckles quietly, moving to whisper into my ear. ‘Is that so?’
Noah then lets his words linger in the hot air for a moment, his smirk only growing while his eyes are fixed on my face when he speaks in a deeper, slightly more seductive voice: ‘Prove it.’
‘Oh, I have to prove it?’ I ask with a sly girn. I run my fingers through my long hair, pushing them off my shoulders in an attractive way. I begin to place my hands on both his shoulders for something to hold on to, and look him straight in his eyes with the dirtiest and darkest look I gave him so far, while I start to ride him deeper and faster. ‘Like this, you mean?’
It makes him let out a low moan, his lips parting and his eyes locking with mine with a just as dark look. ‘Oh yeah,’ he says with a then deep, quiet groan. ‘Just like that…’
‘Hmm, good,’ I smirk, letting out a hot moan when he presses his ups a little, hitting my most sensitive spot perfectly like that. My jaw slightly opens, and I let my head fall back while I shut my eyes out of pleasure. 
‘Oh, Christ,’ I can hear him mumble with a moan, and when I open my eyes I see that he lets his own head lean against the couch, his expression becoming almost lost in pleasure when he feels me riding him more.
‘You fuck me so good,’ I breathe, ‘and I love to fuck you back,’ I say with a husky voice before kissing him again. 
Noah lets out another groan at my words, his hips pressing up more against mine when I continue riding him, knowing that it makes it harder for him by the second to keep his own moans from escaping him. 
‘Oh God, that just sounds so goddamn sexy,’ he breathes against my mouth as his lips presses against mine, the kiss growing deeper and intensifying as the heat is building up more and more between our bodies. 
‘Hmm,’ I laugh, and it sounds attractive yet seductive. ‘Well thank you, Sebastian,’ I grin before planting kisses all over his neck and tattooed chest. 
He laughs and at the same time a groan of pleasure, the feeling of my lips on his sensitive hot skin making goosebumps spread all over his skin. 
‘What are you doing to me…’ he mumbles quietly beneath his breath, a light groan escaping him. 
‘All the things you always wished to be let done to you,’ I whisper in his ear with a small grin, the dimple in my right cheek appearing as I do so. 
Noah lets his head tilt as I speak, letting his eyes shut for a moment while his head is leaned to the side from the way my lips are against his skin. ‘Oh, you don’t even know…’ he quietly mumbles with a light chuckle, feeling his skin heating up more and mine does the exact same.
But suddenly an idea appears in my head by the way we talk to each other, and I mischievously smile at him before getting up from his lap so he slides out of me again. I see Noah looking at me with confusion and a bit disappointment while I do so, but I hope he gets my move when I begin to sit on his length again only now with my behind, giggling a little, a smug expression on my face. A slight gasp of surprise, or maybe even out of excitement, leaves Noah the moment he instantly realizes what I’m doing.
‘And this? Is this something you’ve sometimes secretly fantasized about…?’ I whisper while I look at him from my shoulder, slowly moving up and down on him from behind, a dirty smirk instantly spreading across his face as he clearly is enjoying how this sudden position feels, and maybe how it looks as well.
‘Oh, God yes…’
‘Great,’ I say with the same dirty smirk, and when I feel Noah’s hand move to my breasts when he leans against my back, his head leaning against my shoulder, I moan again. His mouth is trailing along my skin gently with kisses, and I can't help but curse while moaning again by the feeling, my movements instantly moving faster at the same time. 
Noah lets out a moan as well while his breathing grows faster, his hand on my breast still gently massaging it a bit more, and his other hand gently reaches up to move my hair off my neck, to make it easier to continue kissing it and gently nibble on it. I roll my eyes back out of pleasure, feeling that my climax is getting close, and I slowly let his hand slide towards my wet spot, hoping he gets the hint. He gently turns my face towards his with his other hand, to guide me to lay my head back into his shoulder while he leans in towards my neck. He starts whispering in my ear, his words almost sounding like a prayer of praise into my ear: ‘Come for me…’
My movements, his words, his hand rubbing up and down my leaking era, is making me hit my climax in no time. I immediately slap my hand against my mouth so my loud moans are getting muted a little for the others in the bus hear. Noah groans with a smirk just hearing the sound of my moaning and holds me close for a moment, his chin resting on my shoulder while he gently kisses the side of my neck while I recover. When I turn my head around, I lean closer to his face so I can kiss him deeply, and rock just a little back and forth whilst stroking his face, making him groan in my mouth and I feel him hit his own climax shortly after-his grip on my body tightens, his hands instantly gripping my waist again when he comes. 
‘Oh God,’ Noah breathes quietly, his face pressed softly into my neck from the way it’s still leaning against my shoulder as he recovers from the moment. 
I grin, slowly getting up from him, turning around to grab some tissues out of my hand bag. ‘Well, that certainly was something again,’ I chuckle while I dry my wet era off, before handing him a tissue as well and putting on my own clothes again. Noah is still breathing a little heavy from the moment, and lets out a chuckle as well while taking the tissue and cleaning himself up.
‘Yes, it certainly was,’ he says with a satisfied sounding smile, before slowly getting up and pulling his boxer and pants back up. He looks at me for a moment when he also puts his t-shirt over his head as he sees the bright smile on my face, returning it immediately.
I plop down on the couch again when we are fully clothed, pulling up my hair in a quick ponytail because  it has gotten messy in our intimate moment. I lean against the window, seeing route signs coming closer to us in the distance. 
‘Seems like we killed time well, we are almost at the venue,’ I giggle.
Noah’s smile grows on his face even more as he looks out of the window when he sits next to me again, following my gaze. ‘Wow… I can’t believe we are going to be having one of the biggest shows we’ve ever played yet,’ he says, letting out a shaky yet excited breath while looking at me again, letting his hand gently slide to mine.
‘Me neither… I truly am very proud of all of you guys,’ I smile and give a small peck on his lips, rubbing my thumb over our intertwined fingers. 
When I kiss him he smiles against my lips, and then squeezes my hand gently in response to my words before lifting his body up again to stand up, and lean one arm against the windowsill while he looks down at me with his beautiful dark brown eyes. His expression is sincere and genuine, yet also filled with passion and energy. 
‘We will do our best to give all our fans an experience they won’t forget tonight, I promise.’
--
taglist: @blackgirlmagicforever
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kukurykunapatyku · 3 days
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[I.D.: Drawing of Usopp and Vinsmoke Niji from One Piece. They're both seen from the side, circling around each other, Usopp is aiming his slingshot and Niji is brandishing an electrified sword. Usopp wears sniper king mask, red cape, green pants, brown shoes and blue-white arm warmers. Niji wears black cape with blue '2' on it, blue costiume and yellow-blue boots, he's smirking. /End I.D.]
Vinsmoke shipping week day 4: Red string / Hero x Villain
The neferious Germa group is terrorizing the streets, but fear not, because the great Sniper King is here to save you!
Strawhats are semi-superhero team. Luffy doesn't care about crime, it just happens that bad guys usually target his friends for some reason. Nami somehow convinced him to at least cover his face when they beat up guys on live television.
Niji gets a crush on two people at once and tries to deal with it in completly normal matter - by proving they're actually the same person (he's right).
⬇️Fanfic under readmore⬇️ also on Ao3
Niji carefully pinned the photo next to the others. He frowned, adjusted two more to fit the rest better and stepped back to admire his work. Photos, bus schedules, discarded papers, shard broken off the Sniper King mask, piece of fabric - all gathered together. There was just one thing to do and his board would be complete. He grinned, pulled out a ball of red yarn and began connecting the pins until they formed one massive web of evidence. And like a spider ready for dinner, he finally found that one fly that was pulling at its strings, and come to the single possible conclusion.
"And why, pray tell, do you think one of your regular customers is part of the superhero team? The one that always thwarts father's plans no less?"
"Don't you see?" Niji slammed the board. "It's all here!"
"All I see is an, admittingly ambitious, art project made of coincidences and stalking tendencies."
"Listen, it's too much to just be a coincidence, at this point it's proof."
Ichiji sighed and closed the book he was reading.
"Fine, lets indulge you. What proof?"
"First of, they drink the same coffee - both take exactly two sugar cubes, one puff of cream and two pumps of caramel syrup."
"Why do you know how Sniper King takes his coffee?"
Niji looked at him like he was stupid
"Because I asked him? He's my nemesis, I need to know those things."
"Your nemesis?" Ichiji stuttered. "Since when??"
"About two months ago; we were picking them, don't you remember? You took the witch."
Ichiji tapped his fingers on the table. That didn't sound right, he was sure if something like this happened he would have remembered. If they did it there must have been a purpose, but what? Battle strategies? Did father know? Was Ichiji supposed to tell him? And he picked the Weather Witch? What on earth could Niji be talking about-
Suddenly very tired, Ichiji put his hand on his face and slowly pulled it down.
"Niji. We played 'Fuck, Marry, Kill' about the Strawhats. How did this turn into nemesis thing?"
"Ain't that the same thing? Anyway, we're getting off track." He pointed at the blurry photo of a dark alleyway. "See?"
"See what?"
"Argh, do I have to do everything here? Look, here, it's Sniper's cape!"
Ichiji leaned forward and squinted. True, in the left corner, near the bins, there was something that could be a fragment of red fabric. Or an unlucky rat.
"I followed Usopp one evening and I lost him somewhere here," his finger followed one of the red lines until it reached a cutout of city's map, with big circle drawn in the middle of it. "But I'm sure he didn't walk much further, because he was carrying four of those babies." He tapped on the stock picture of an ice-cream package. "There were other shops on his way and he only stopped to buy them here." Next map had a red cross slapped on it. "Which means he was probably coming closer to home. Other stores in the neighborhood are over there, there, there and there. Since he didn't visit those, he must live somewhere before the road could reach any of them, or he would have just buy ice-cream there."
Niji looked at his brother expectantly. "See now?"
Ichiji blinked a few times. That was impressive recon work, and he could probably agree with him... If he knew what point he was even trying to make.
"So... you think the coffee guy lives somewhere between these streets." He pointed at the marked portion of the map. "But what does it have to do with your theory?"
"Everything! I just showed you, I found a piece of Sniper's cape next to the houses there, it's evidence!"
Ichiji massaged his temples and counted to ten. Did he have to do this? He could just leave. Maybe call Yonji so Niji could bother someone else.
But then, a voice in his head said, you have no excuse if father suddenly decides he wants an audience to hear about another freaking death ray.
If he had to listen to his family's ramblings...
"It's just red fabric, it doesn't necessary mean anything. Plus, your guy could be going to his friends house, or a party. Four boxes of ice-cream is a lot for one person."
Niji waved him away.
"Oh no, I know Usopp will eat it. He once told me he can do even five if he puts his mind to it. Calls it his 'depression repression' meal. And!" He pulled a clipped cloth Ichiji failed to notice before. "Sniper doesn't use any shabby materials! His cape is waterproof, fireproof, really hard to rip and can even withstand acid for a while. And guess what? This piece I took from the alley is exactly that!"
Ichiji sincerely hated that he actually started to consider this. "Still, you can't be sure. A lot of people live there. Plus, if I was trying to hide my identity, I wouldn't throw damming evidence with my garbage. It's more likely, if it even is the same material, that it was thrown there by somebody passing by."
Niji sneered, annoyed that the argument actually made sense.
"We all are hiding our identity; why 'if'?"
"Father's hightech company is one letter away from just spelling his evil codename, we lost a member around the same time Sanji, very publicly, left the family and we barely cover our faces when we go out. Are we hiding our identities?"
"It's different, we're rich. We can do whatever we want and so one will accuse us."
"That just proves my point. I doubt Sniper can afford being find out, so he's probably more cautious handling his leftovers."
"Maybe he's rich too, you don't know that. I mean, he's not since I know it's Usopp, but. Well. Doesn't matter, because I have even more evidence!"
He gestured at another portion of the board, with two papers on it. One seemed to be a photo of Sniper taken in the middle of battle, even more unfocused than the others. The other was a printed selfie of darkskinned guy around 20 years old, with long curly hair and wide smile. But the first thing that caught attention was his- Oh no.
"As you can see," Niji gloated, "they have the same nose!"
Ichiji slammed his forehead on the table.
The twin bang could be heard across the city, in an unkempt apartment (that on paper was shared by five people, which really downplayed how many actually passed by it).
"For the last time Usopp, your favourite barista is not Dengeki Blue just because the hair match!
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ilguna · 10 months
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me when i’m in an unknown place and my two friends are at a reservation that was supposed to end 25 minutes ago and one of them has their phone on silent and the other isn’t responding and i’m 30 minutes away from home sitting at a QT because that’s the only place i felt safe enough to park: 💃
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cherryredstars · 1 month
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Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x mafia!fem!reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Penetrative Sex
Summary: Bad girl, good guy.
A/N: Requested by @shadofireshinobi! Thank you. love!!
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Fuck, it's cold.
Miguel shrugs up the large bubble jacket higher up his body, the warm material meeting his chin as he turns into the narrow alleyway. His head is ducked down, yet white puffs of breath appear in front of his face. He sniffles as he looks behind his shoulder, the street lights getting dimmer the further he goes. He looks forward again with a sigh, stopping in the middle of the alleyway.
It's quiet. There aren't even any cars on the main road behind him. He can hear the dripping of water from earlier rain as it hits the ground, echoing against the brick walls. He looks up the walls, not spotting anything in the darkness, even with his enhanced senses. He shivers, shrugging in his jacket again. His lips thin, and he turns back around to the alley's entrance.
He doesn't get very far.
"Are you lost?"
The voice is silky smooth, and he can feel a pleasant feeling vibrate up his spine. He turns slightly, his head tilting up. She stands right above him on a creaky fire escape. He isn't sure how he didn't hear her, but he isn't surprised either. He turns fully to face her, his heart bounding.
"Yeah, think you can help me?"
He can hear her amused chuckle, watching her shadowed silhouette. She walks towards the end of the fire escape, a large groan sounding before rusted clicks fill the small space as the ladder falls. Miguel walks over, climbing it easily. She's waiting at the top for him, and he pauses to look up at her. A gust of wind blows, making her hair and nightgown sway. It makes Miguel's mouth dry and he swallows.
"I thought I told you not to wear that here."
Her voice disrupts his thoughts, and he huffs as he finally stands in front of her.
"Just got off duty." He says, shoving his hands in his pocket. "It's a bit cold to be wearing that out here."
He nods at her outfit, the end of his chin pointed at her. She rolls her eyes, her hand leaning on the railing as her hip juts out.
"It won't get me killed." She says in distaste, her eyes scanning his visible suit to signify the meaning of her words.
He chuckles at that, knowing how right she is. She pushes past him, going to the open window. She slips in, and Miguel bends down to follow her in. It's much warmer in the small apartment. It's not technically her's, just a small place she rents for these meet ups. The money she spends on it gets lost in the expenses of her shopping, but Miguel doesn't think her father or brothers would care too much if they found out she rents it. They would surely get mad if they found out why.
She closes the window behind him, and he takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around her. He leans down, trailing kisses along her shoulder as his hand slips to the edge of her dress. It ends up against her thigh, the soft skin melting into smooth silk and lace. She hums as she moves her head to the side, giving him room to explore her neck. His teeth nip lightly over where her pulse is, causing a pleased sigh to escape her lips.
"Missed you," He mumbles against her skin, his hand slipping under her dress.
His hand skims over her thighs and up to her stomach, resting against the warm skin. Her hand lands over his on the fabric, her body pushing back against his own. Her other hand finds it's way into his hair, pulling his head slightly so their face to face.
"Don't be cute." She smiles teasingly, "Don't think I didn't see you on that rooftop two days ago."
His cheeks flush at the mention. He wasn't trying to follow her, he just happened to stumble upon the scene. He didn't know all that noise was her and her brothers dealing with... business. But, it was good business! Honestly, the world could do without two corrupt CEOs. At least, that's what he tells himself.
Her nose bumps against his, and his eyes dart down to her lips. She has that pretty lipstick that he gifted her a few visits ago on, and he subconsciously licks his lips. Her smile widens, leaning forward to kiss him. He instantly moans, closing his eyes and holding her tighter. He only lets up when she moves to turn, wrapping both of her hands around his neck as the kiss deepens.
He almost trips when she makes him move backwards, walking him until the back of his legs hit the edge of the couch as he throws his coat to the floor. He collapses heavily onto it, tearing the two apart, He looks up at her as she goes to straddle his lap, his hands gripping her waist. She flips her hair to the side, smiling down at him before she leans down to his neck. He groans softly as he tilts his head back, his eyes closing as her lips suck and kiss at his neck. His brows furrow in a silent moan as she grinds against his already hard cock.
Even if his hands weren't under her dress before, he can feel the fact that she was no panties on. The warm mound of her heat rubs against the technological material of his suit, his hips bucking up to meet her moves. She giggles against his neck, pulling away as his lashes flutter open. He has that silly, hypnotized look on his face. She can't help but smirk down at him, the silly little spider that's absolutely smitten with her.
She cups his cheek, stroking the slightly stubble-graced skin. He leans into her touch, eyes practically glowing with hearts as he looks up at her.
"Get rid of the suit, Miggy." You whisper down at him, biting your lip as he gives you a small nod that turns into enthusiastic nodding as your words click.
It recedes in seconds, and both you and Miguel moan as his weeping tip just barely skims over your folds. His eyes drop down, huffing when the ends of your dress block his view. You smile slightly at the pout on his face, your hands slowly grabbing at the ends of your dress as your bring it up to your waist. The second your pretty pussy is revealed to him, Miguel's breath catches.
It rushes out of him instantly when you slowly sink down on him, a choked moan parting from his lips as your warmth pulsates around him. His hands grip your thighs tights, his eyes snapping up to your face. You're looking down at where you two meet, but you meet his eyes once you feel them on you. You smile lazily at him, smirking when his face contorts as you begin bouncing on his cock.
His mouth drops open in breathless moans, his eyes dreamy as he studies your face. You bite your lip as the tip of his cock presses against your cervix, your own moan filling the room. Miguel whimpers up at you as you clench around his cock, eyes rolling back with a groan as you buck your hips. You giggle at how easily it is to make him go crazy, leaning down to quite him down with a kiss.
He hums against your lips, eagerly returning the kiss as he squeezes your thighs tights. You can feel that pleasant burn of an orgasm forming in the bit of your stomach, and your trail your hands down until they land on top of his. You silently move his hands up to your waist, and he makes quick work of bouncing you on his dick, already used to the silent command. You moan against his lips, pulling away and throwing your head back as your hands land on his shoulders in support.
A pleased gasp leaves you as you feel Miguel's warm mouth wrap around your nipple through the silk, a desperate noise leaving him. He can feel your walls tightening around him, and he sucks harder on your covered nipple to distract himself from the twitching of his cock. He wants- needs- you to come first, his hips hammering up into you. You're surprised your lip isn't bleeding from how hard you're biting down on it, but it finds relief when the band inside of you snaps.
A loud moan is directed at the ceiling as you come, your pussy clamping down on him as he stills. He pants out your name as he spills inside of you, the feeling dizzying. You giggle at the fucked out look on his face, gently easing yourself off of him. He leans his head against the back of the couch, taking his time in catching his breath. You hover just over his lap, pushing the hair out of his face with a smile.
You have him right where your family wants him.
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lucysarah-c · 2 months
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Fifteen, what an age to be alive. Dad!Levi
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Summary: Steal your father's car! What could go wrong? Author note: Since the Marley world seemed to be around the 30s-40s, I’ll set this idea in a world that looks like the mid-50s. This is POST WAR. Warnings: Cursing 'cause Levi, obv. And slightly mention of a group taking advantage of a girl, nothing really happens and there's no graphic description at all. Word count: 3.9k Pairing: Dad! Levi x Mom! Reader
His hands gripped the big round wheel of the car as his eyes scanned the dark night with a nervous smile, quickly turning into clenched teeth. His attention shifted to the passenger seat, soft as if it was a scene from one of the horror pictures he saw at the drive-in.
A light blond girl lay unconscious, her head resting against the door, appearing lifeless. She wore a typical sleeveless red button-up shirt and very short white shorts, with white socks crumpled down to double-coloured loafers. Her hair was still in a ponytail, exposing her face completely. It was August, plain summer break, and he knew that most of his classmates wore shorts or even swimsuits at the pool or beach. But somehow, her exposure made him blush and feel ashamed, as if even staring felt wrong.
Turning to the back seat of the car, he picked up his letterman jacket and placed it on top of her, covering her as much as possible. It looked big on her, and somehow, Adrien blessed every deity mentioned; he probably was inheriting his father’s uncle’s height and not his father's, a fact becoming rather obvious every day, as he was only 15 and already almost 1.80m.
“Calm down, Adie… you got this,” he whispered to himself, “I’ve no idea what I'm going to do but I got it.”
How did he get into this situation? It was supposed to be a silly night out; one of his friends invited him to a party of the seniors who were graduating from high school that year. What was the issue if he was just a freshman? Fifteen, eighteen, it’s the same! Plus, it was some party at some old forgotten building, half destroyed during the rumbling around ten years ago, in the middle of nowhere. Nothing wrong with that.
Yes, perhaps he stole his father’s keys and car. Yes, perhaps he lied about sleeping in his room. Yes, maybe he stole a bit (a lot) of money from his parents. “I mean… deep down, it’s my father’s fault for not allowing me to come legally,” Adrien argued with his own reflection in the car's mirror.
But everything went downhill when he saw a group of guys dragging a girl who was clearly not feeling well and decided to step in. Now, here he was, the party had turned into a mess as the fight happened, he got kicked out with an unconscious girl, and who knew what they had given her. He hit his forehead against the wheel as time slipped through his fingers; he was supposed to be back home already.
“Fucking shit! Who told me to step in!” he cursed under his breath. Deep down, he knew stepping up for what he had been told was horrendously wrong, knowing he had the strength to fight those assholes back. ‘The curse of being a fucking Ackerman, man,’ he thought.
He had done the right thing, at least one right thing during the entire night, but now he had to face the consequences. Muffled cries mixed with distressed groans filled the car, “My father is going to kill me!”
His forehead kept hitting the wheel repeatedly as if that would knock some common sense into him or perhaps give him a concussion and fake that he had been kidnapped or something. Surrounded by trees in a dead-end road, it wasn’t even paved. Only the footprints of multiple cars to follow back to civilization. The distressed teen didn’t even know where he was; his older friend had guided him there and left with his girlfriend at some point of the party.
Slowly raising his head up again to admire the endless kilometres of dim nothing, contemplating his options, seizing his courage. “Come on, Adie. Be a man, be a man!”
The trees’ branches creaked in the middle of the night, the car slightly swayed under the strong summer wind. “I want my mommy,” he muttered.
Hand on the wheel and turning on the car, one step at a time, he took a deep breath and then decided to go out on the road again. Forgotten somewhere, his father’s car’s papers and driver's license. In them it read “Levi Ackerman.”
Each branch from the forest that scraped the car was a personal pain, praying to any god's existence that it didn’t scratch it. Of course, his father had filled up the tank, obviously he had. Levi was like that, always cautious. Adrien did a personal wish his father had a map stored in the glove compartment, but obviously, he didn’t. After all, Levi knew the streets of the city like the back of his hand. He drove a lot, especially since his legs weren’t what they used to be anymore. Perhaps he didn’t need any support for walking any longer, but walking long distances wasn’t in Levi’s plans anymore.
“Perhaps I can… drive to the hospital, leave her, and like run away,” he contemplated, before groaning loudly, “No, I can’t do that. God, I’m dead.”
‘I could have walked away, but no, Mr. Adrien Ackerman has to be a hero. Mr. Ackerman has to do the right thing.’
Adrien had driven twice in his life; this one was the second. The first was a few years ago when his father sat him down on his lap and let him do it for a little bit. He was happy he hadn’t encountered much traffic and only had to drive ahead because he wasn’t completely sure yet what the third pedal was for.
“I got it, do not worry,” he said, trying to sound reassuring to the unmoving girl on his right. Adrien’s grey eyes checked on her from time to time, but she seemed deeply asleep, or so he hoped. “I’ll get to the hospital in no time, and you’ll be alright,” he promised.
His smile created a couple of dimples on each side of his face, but it quickly faded as fear kicked in. “And if you’re not alright, do not worry. I’ll throw myself off a bridge, and we can be not alright together,” he kept joking as if, by some miracle, the girl would reply.
He didn’t even know her name, and somehow, that made him feel even guiltier. As civilization began to appear and the sky began to lighten up, he lost hope of not dying at the hands of his own progenitor, but he was also hopeful that at least he was getting somewhere without crashing. The sun hadn’t shown up yet, but the deep blue of the sky had a particular glow to it that made it imminent.
The streets were deserted, and rightfully so; it was the middle of the night on a Monday. Adrien tried to park the car as best as he could, finally reaching the only hospital he somehow remembered the route to. Rushing to the other door, he carefully picked her up.
When he crossed the doors of the main hospital, which was almost empty at those hours, the doctors on duty quickly took her in, some searching for identifications inside her clothes. The police officer at the front gates forbade him from leaving the place.
“Alright, please hand me your ID,” the front gate secretary asked after informing him that the girl was out of danger, but she would have to stay for monitoring. Adrien’s suspicious silence made the woman raise her eyes from the form she was filling out to look at him. “You know that carrying IDs is obligatory, right?”
“Yes, madam…” He felt his palm sweating as he feared being taken to the police station.
“How old are you?”
Her voice sounded calm but tired as she quickly understood the issue, “… eighteen.”
With a loud sigh, she took off her cat-eye red glasses and then slowly blinked back at him. “Look kid, I’ve been on night watch for three days straight. I’ve no energy to deal with this.”
Adrien’s eyes remained glued to the floor, feeling small despite his stature. “… fifteen,” he admitted reluctantly.
Her unpleasant groans echoed in the empty walls that reeked of disinfectant. He slowly turned to the gates, and the security guys began to chuckle as they drank coffee. Feeling the need to clarify, he said, “I swear it wasn’t me who hurt her.”
“Kid, people who drug girls don’t carry them to hospitals,” she replied disinterestedly, pouring the information into the typewriter, the typing echoing in the place. Finally, she picked up a post-it with a pencil and raised it to the top of the reception table. “Your parents' contact number, please.”
Her eyes quickly moved to him and then back to her writing as he hesitated to fill out the paper. “You know I’ve done nothing; can’t I just go?” Adrien insisted, trying to escape the situation.
“Kid, you’re breaking national curfew and walking around without identification. A responsible adult must come and sign for you to leave; otherwise, you’ll live here until you turn 18.”
“Could you at least wait until 9 am to call my mother’s work number?” He smiled awkwardly, trying to find a way to avoid his father’s rage. The secretary looked up at the clock; it wasn’t even 5 am and then back to him, deadly. Unpleasant complaining groans echoed as he reluctantly wrote his house’s telephone number. “Sorry.”
Sat down at one of those uncomfortable waiting room’s seats with a latte and chocolate donut he brought at the cafeteria, he waited as someone waits to be hanged. The doctors and nurses moved here and there attending to the few people that came in with emergencies. Until the secretary walked by and said, “Your father picked up the phone; he said that getting the car and coming this way.”
Adrien’s grey eyes quickly turned in fear to check out of the window, grimacing uneasily as he admired the family's car parked outside. “Great…”
The longer it took, the more Adrien knew he was in trouble. Pressing his eyes closed and clenching his jaw, as if he could already feel the kick in his ass. Despite the nerves, his head bobbed forward as he fell asleep, and the tug of falling forward snapped him back awake. At some point, he rested his head on the joined seat and fell asleep, mouth open.
The front gates snapping open woke him up, and he wished to make himself smaller so he could hide behind the back of the seats. But as he turned backwards, Levi was at the front desk talking to the secretary and security guards. His dark hair was a mess, and it seemed like he had just put on some shoes and a shirt because he still had the pyjama pants on. Outside, the cap that his father had probably been forced to take there.
As the secretary picked up the forms for him to fill, his father quickly raised his grey eyes to shoot him across the room the deadliest glance he had yet to witness. ‘Goodbye everybody, it was nice knowing you.’
Avoiding facing death, Adrien remained seated, giving his back, but he quickly heard the footsteps of his father, characterized by the slight hobble he had after the war. With his presence looming, he looked down at Adrien, who slowly raised his attention up.
Smiling innocently, “Hi, dad.”
Levi didn’t smile back; quite the opposite, he frowned even more and extended his right hand that was missing two fingers. “My fucking keys.”
The teen searched for them inside his jeans and quietly handed them over with puppy eyes. Levi snapped them, but his hand didn’t withdraw. “And my damn money.” Repeating the same action but with the bills, Levi grabbed them and began to count. “And the rest?”
Adrien mumbled some incoherent groans as he refused to make eye contact. “Tch,” Levi clicked his tongue and gripped his shirt neck, raising him from his seat, pushing him to the exit. “Get in the fucking car.”
The walk of shame only accentuated as his father's angry tone didn’t match the polite one he used to greet the secretary and guards on his way out. He cowered in the passenger seat, trying to make himself a tiny ball as Levi slammed the door shut. Loud sighs that didn’t withdraw the deep frown before he turned on the car again.
“You’re so fucking wrong if you think I’ll stand this type of behaviour; I'm telling you,” Levi spat the words as he drove back home. “What the hell were you thinking?!”
“Adrien!” Levi insisted as the kid didn’t even reply, looking to his right as he waited at a red light. “You don’t want to talk? Fine, fucking ungrateful brat. You know how fucking worried your mother was when we received a call from the shitty hospital? Eh?”
“The drive-in the other day, the supposed hang out at your friend’s house that you were never fucking there, and now this. Are you fucking proud?” the ex-captain of the scouts kept going as his eyes were glued to the road despite only one of them working anymore. “You’re grounded, you’re so fucking grounded that I’ll fucking die, and you’ll have to get a damn Ouija board to contact me to see if you can go out to buy groceries.”
The teen just silently rolled his eyes as the long list of unhappiness of his father about his behaviour couldn’t care less. “Don’t you dare to roll your eyes on me, brat. You heard me? Drop that fucking attitude.” Somehow his father always seemed to have eyes everywhere. “Happy now? You ruined your entire summer break; beg all you want later on. You’re not leaving the house.”
“As if you’d let me go out anyway,” Adrien murmured mockingly under his breath.
“What?” Levi demanded. “If you’re going to have the guts to steal MY car, MY money, and break MY orders, then grow the guts to speak the fuck up.”
“That you never let me go anywhere!” Adrien shouted back angrily.
“For what? To go to this damn party in the middle of nowhere to hang out with fucking rapists and get
shit-faced?” Levi argued back. “You think I was born yesterday? I know exactly which places I don’t want you to get involved with. You think you’ve everything figured out, but that’s not it, Adrien! You’re 14! Fourteen!”
“I’m fifteen!”
“You turned fifteen two weeks ago, for fuck’s sake!” Levi shouted, slightly turning to his right before focusing back on the road. “I’m telling you, better fix your attitude or this is not going to end well. You may be getting big and feel cocky, but you won’t play smart-ass with me. You can grow up to be as tall as the fucking Colossal Titan, and yet you would do whatever the fuck I tell you!”
“I did the right thing! I stood up for her; I’m not stupid enough to do whatever my classmates do. Why can’t you see that?!” Adrien complained as they reached the front of the house, and Levi stopped the car.
“’Cause you were stupid enough to steal my car even when you don’t know how to fucking drive!” Levi complained as he got out of the car, walking to the front door. He kept going with the lecture but lower as he didn’t want to wake up the neighbours. “You don’t like it? Choose another father in your next life; in this one, it’s me, and I’m not going to let my teenage kid not give a fuck about the decisions I take. I’ve gone through too much shit for a fucking brat to tell me what I believe is the best for them.”
They both walked in, and Levi locked the door behind them. The room was still dim for the early hours, and their dog greeted them enthusiastically. The keys dropping at the front plate echoed loudly, and the tuxedo cat of the family finally appeared to rub himself against the legs of the teen, who quietly picked him up. Y/N quickly rushed to check on her kid.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did they hurt you somewhere?” She seemed clearly agitated, and Adrien remained with his eyes glued to the floor.
“No, mom,” he murmured, downcast. “I’m fine.”
“Oi, to your damn room,” Levi quickly ordered. “and clean it up; I won’t say it again.”
The kid left, cursing under his breath as he went upstairs and slammed the front door shut.
“What happened?” she asked Levi, who was preparing himself a tea to calm down, enveloping herself in a negligee.
“What happened? That kid is driving me nuts, that’s what's happening,”
Y/N sighed loudly, positioning herself behind her husband and running her hands through his arms, seeking to provide some comfort. She then switched to hugging him from behind. “He’s going through a phase… his new classmates are mostly kids who survived the rumbling, and some of them aren’t the best influence. He just wants to fit in, you know how important that is at his age.”
“Tch,” Levi kept facing the countertop, murmuring as the anger didn’t quickly wash away. But eventually, he closed his eyes and sighed loudly as the adrenaline slowed down. “The audacity of that kid, where the hell does he get it?”
Y/N couldn't help but chuckle against his back, “MH, I wonder,” she said sarcastically. “If they were still around, perhaps we could have asked some senior MPs… perhaps they could enlighten us on how you were as a teen,”
“I wasn’t like that,” Levi softly replied, almost ashamed of the point out.
“No haha you were worse,” Y/N was entertained as she kissed his shoulder blades tenderly. “Or do I have to remind you how you made me sneak out to meet you after curfew?”
“That’s different…”
Forcing him to turn around to place a kiss on his scar as she caressed his face softly, “He’s your kid,” she murmured against his lips. “He hates to be told what to do and has the strength to know he can get out of almost any situation. Asking him to be submissive is like asking him not to be an Ackerman; he got it in his genes,”
Levi just groaned, accepting the caress, her loving his face as if he was brand new and the residues of the war had never happened.
Days passed by, and while the mood in the house was slowly returning to calmness, the punishment still stood, and Adrien was reading in his bedroom, suffering the heat of summer without being able to go out with his friends. He couldn’t even play his record player because if in normal cases his father tolerated him to play his favourite bands loudly, now he was almost cursed to quietness. Levi didn’t seem to be very fond of Rock; perhaps Paradise music was too behind, and the period of adaptation was lacking. It sounded like loud noise to him.
A quiet knock at the front door was heard, mostly because the dog that was resting beside him in his bed raised hastily and rushed downstairs. The noise was almost imperceptible as his father was vacuuming the living room’s carpet while his mother prepared dinner. Adrien was about to raise himself from his bed and open the door himself, but the overwhelmingly loud noise of the vacuum stopped, so he guessed his father was on it.
Levi opened the front door without checking; he had faced so many adversities in life that he hardly doubted that anyone who rang his bell at 6 pm on a Thursday in their quiet family neighbourhood was a threat. “Yes?” he crossed his arms as he admired the young girl at the front gates. She was wearing the usual outfit of the time, white and brown loafers, crumpled low white socks, an inflated pastel yellow skirt that was tightly around her waist with a white blouse. The matching light cardigan was hanging from her shoulders, but she didn’t seem to put it on, another thing that Levi thought was some stupid new fashion trend from teens. That and his son’s imperious necessity to fold the sleeves of his t-shirts. High ponytail and blushed cheeks.
“Good evening, Mr. Ackerman,” The girl greeted him with kindness and politeness.
“Hello,” Levi replied, almost uninterested, his usual unfriendly nature not withdrawn even after years of not being on service.
“I was wondering if Adrien is at home,” she asked, and Levi wished he could roll his eyes at how almost immediately the girl blushed at the mention of his son’s name. “I’m the girl from the other night; I wanted to thank him…” seeing Levi’s slight frown at the memory of that early morning, she nervously added, “And you, of course, for what he did for me,” The young girl handed a package that was easily deduced to be a cake.
“He’s grounded,” Levi quickly replied. “And you don’t need to thank him; he did the only right thing to do. I don’t raise abusers,”
“Oh…” the disappointment in her voice was palpable, “Well, but please at least take the cake? For all the inconvenience,”
“No, kid, it’s alright-”
“Hi, sweetie! Adrien will be down in a minute!” Y/N popped behind Levi, slightly pushing him to the side and smiling softly at the girl. “Do you want to wait inside?”
Levi looked at his wife, confused and slightly offended by how quickly she overstepped him in the conversation.
“Ah, no, it’s alright; I don’t want to be a bother-”
Adrien appeared behind his parents, wondering what the whole issue was, and his mother quickly pushed him forward. “There he is!” She added while tugging Levi back inside. “Let’s give him some space,” she whispered to her husband, who was refusing to move.
“Oi,” Levi complained as he was forced back inside.
Both parents faking to be doing something in the living room to not be seen; Levi wasn’t spying, but his wife was. “She’s so cute,” she whispered, “and she’s crushing so much on him.”
Levi clicked his tongue, “He’s tall. All girls of that age crush on tall boys,” he argued back.
Y/N chuckled and turned to look at him, “talking from experience?”
“Ha ha,” Levi faked a sarcastic laugh. “He’s supposed to be grounded,”
“Shh, I can’t hear!” She hushed him back and then moved slightly as Levi joined her next to the window.
“Great,” Levi said annoyed, “she’s fucking bonnie,”
Confusion was written all over his wife's face as she grimaced dazed and raised an eyebrow, silently asking how those words could be said with such disappointment.
“Now I won’t only have to buy him all those stupid vinyl records, textbooks, and uniforms for the school team, but I’ll also have to start buying condoms; there goes my fucking salary,”
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lucrativesoul · 11 months
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Roadstop
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summary: your car breaks down on a deserted road at midnight. you have no signal, it’s getting colder, and you are five miles away from help; you’re stranded. a stranger offers his help to you, and you find a way to pass the time.
pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader
word count: 7.8k
warnings: smut, oral (male recieving), bondage (very softcore), don’t trust strangers this much
a/n: i kind of hate this title and i also don’t love this one but I hope i made it work. going to immediately start one that i’m actually into. this one’s shorter than the last one, but they might all fall around the same word count from now on. again, i can’t stress how thankful i am for the love on ‘the assistant’ as well as my headcanon blurbs, 900+ notes on the fic and 300+ on the headcanons, you guys are too nice. i can’t wait to come back soon with the next fic! enjoy :3
You thought back for a brief second, clearing your head as best you could to gauge your current situation.
In the backseat of a tinted SUV, you were straddled over a thick set of thighs, that of which belonged to a man twice your build, who was bound at the wrists in front of him. The waistband of his jeans were dangerously low and his shirt was somewhere in the front seat. His breathing was shaky and he was looking at you with hooded eyelids, loving every moment of this situation.
What was the catalyst to this exact interaction? Let’s see…
Earlier
As badly as you wanted to scream, to cry, to blame everyone else but yourself, this was all on you, and you knew it. There were plenty of ways to avoid this situation.
Your car was toast. Literally. The steam was coming out in soft puffs, and you were thanking every deity up there that it was only steam and not smoke, because it was dead winter, too cold for even snow to fall, and you did not want to get out of your car. How can a car even overheat in 10 degree weather?
The road trip back home was close to three hours and you were nearing the second one when a light started flashing on your dashboard. Inclined to ignore it, but knowing the risks of doing so, you pulled over, hoping for a brief stop. 
The road was dark. It made you a little cautious to step out, but this wasn't a common place for people to pull over, but you were unsure if you could make it the next five miles to the rest stop. It was only a two lane road, trees on both sides of you. The worst, you decided, was a deer deciding to dash out and body slam you. You should move quick enough to avoid that.
Looking behind to make sure no one was suddenly driving by, you briskly opened your door and walked to the front of the car. Finding the latch and pulling it aside, you lifted the hood, and a puff of metallic smelling steam hit your face. You backed up, letting it clear, before going in again. Well, you observed, the engine is definitely still there.
Shutting it and shuffling back to your car, you pulled your phone out of your pocket. Should you call a tow service? You didn't know where you were. Should you call the police? They would probably tell you to call the non-emergency line and then tell you to call a tow service. Should you call your friend? She would probably call you stupid, then tell you to call a tow service. That one was the most comfortable, though.
It was, after all, her fault you were here. It’s easy enough to cast the blame on the friend that moved this far away that you had to plan out a whole weekend just to hang out. But, once again, it was on you for deciding to leave this late.
She answered after one ring. “Hey, I’m in trouble.”
“Of course you are. What happened now?” She didn’t sound incredibly concerned.
“I don’t know. I think my car’s overheating. I’m scared to keep driving it.”
She gasped. “It’s only been like… an hour and a half? You’re probably in the woods.”
“If darkness and trees means woods then yes, that’s precisely where I am.”
“You need to get a tow, or something.” Knew it. “Do you see mile markers?”
You leaned forward in your seat, straining to see something that isn’t there. “No, I can’t see. I don't remember passing any either. I’m a few miles away from a rest stop, but, I really don’t–”
Dial tone.
Pulling your phone away from your ear to look at the screen, you wanted to scream even more now. “Fuck!” You shouted out to nobody. No service. You wasted your last few moments of contact, and now you had nothing.
You sat for a moment, stilling your beating heart and trying to think rationally. Walking was out of the question. You nearly froze just going to open the hood. You could wait for service to come back, probably in waves, you might lose a call again. It was the only choice. The call to 911 would be quick, and if you lost service, they would know where you are from pinging you, and if they couldn’t reach you again, they would come find you. It was the best you could hope for. 
Settling back into your seat, the last few wisps of orange light disappearing behind the trees, you were ready to wait. 
You dragged your hands up and down the man’s torso, watching his muscles constrict and hearing delicious whines pour from his lips. He threw his head back onto the seat behind him, unable to look away from your body for even a second, even to blink. You could see the way his jaw tensed and relaxed, you could tell he wanted to say something, but he obeyed you, and he didn’t say a word.
You knew he was staring at the way your body curved and dipped, the way your frame was visible as you had also taken your shirt off, left in only a bra and the jacket that he had put on over you. He was probably ready to cum untouched at just the idea of you wearing his jacket alone, nevermind with nothing on underneath. 
Your fingers teased at the waistband of his pants, flitting your fingertips back and forth over the button of his jeans. You could see the way his erection was pressing hard through them, twitching ever so often as you kept your eyes on him. You, yourself, were desperate to pull it out and put your mouth on it, but you couldn’t let him see that.
“It’s tempting,” You whispered into the space between you two. “I want to take it right now,” He strained again, both his hard cock and his upper body, his arms slightly tugging at the restraints. “But I need you to beg for it…” You palmed his dick hard, and his lips parted in a moan. The sound made you even wetter than you already were. His hips bucked upward, moving the both of you, but with one steady hand to the chest, he was still. 
You knew well enough that he could bust out of the restraints at any second, he was strong enough to do that and probably tie you up even more securely than you had tied him. But, the mere idea that he was sitting there, being a good boy for you and letting you have him as he was, well, that idea alone had you foaming at the mouth, wanting to take control of him.
This wasn’t the first time you were making someone sit still and be a good boy for you, but it was the first time that a man had you dizzy trying to enforce those rules in the first place.
“Tell me,” You spoke, a sultry look in your eyes, you leaned in just a tad to get in his face. “Do you need it?”
He sighed out as if he had been holding his breath. “Yes, please, I need it so bad…” He nearly tripped over his words trying to force them out, showing you how bad he needed you to touch him, to suck him off, to ride him. Yes, you needed it to, but you couldn’t give it to him without a little bit of teasing involved.
“Do you now…” Your hands wandered up his torso again, fingers gently wrapping around the base of his neck, now even squeezing, and he tipped his head back with a sigh. You peeled your hands off, tracing his shoulders, his biceps, his forearms, and settled your hands over his. “If you keep being good, you can be released and touch me.” You felt his muscles strain again. “Not yet, though.”
He swallowed with the implication. Moving your hips forward, you grinded down onto him, making him screw his eyes shut and groan. Your own heartbeat quickened at the action, and for your own sake as well, you were going to need to speed this up. 
You leaned forward once more, mouth next to his ear, lips ghosting around the shell. “You’ll be my good boy and let me suck it, won’t you?”
A shrill whine, then, “Yes, yes, I’ll be your good boy, I promise, please, you can suck it. Please,” His voice was cutting in and out between a whisper and its full depth, you could tell he was worked up, and while you loved the chase of it all, you couldn’t help but to give in and treat yourself, as well. 
Your hands fell to his jeans again, hovering over the button. You pressed a kiss into his jawline. “Good boy.”
Earlier
This was much more boring than you anticipated. You wanted to scroll through your phone so badly, but you knew you needed to conserve battery. There wasn’t much in the way of entertainment in your car, merely your overnight bag in the back with your clothes in it, your laptop buried at the bottom for work, and your water bottle which was almost empty now. You kept checking every 5 minutes for a service signal, watching as the percent in the corner slowly ticked down.
It was growing colder by the minute in your car, and you had a blanket over your lap trying to conserve what you could. You felt like you were trapped in the wild, stranded with no food, no communication, when realistically you were only a hair outside of the nearest civilization.
No one had driven by yet. It was odd for no one to be taking this road at this time, at least one or two people would be coming by, maybe even a freight truck, but so as your luck worked out, there was not a soul tonight. 
You were getting tired now, but your nerves were too lit up to allow yourself to fall asleep. Resting your head back against the car seat, staring out into darkness, your mind began to wander.
How many deer were out in these woods right now? Probably none, with the way your eyes were fully adjusted to the darkness now, you could spot one a mile away. It would be the only movement. What was your friend doing? Was she still trying to call you? Clearly she hadn’t called anyone for help, as it’s been a rough 30 minutes since you lost service, and the nearest city was just outside of where you sat. They would have gotten there in 15 max. Was it possible to freeze to death in just a few hours within the confines of your car, even though you were nowhere near that point yet?
Just then, your head shot forward as you spotted light behind you. Finally, a person! You straightened out and pulled the blanket off of you, debating if you should step out or not. That would definitely get their attention, but what if they were in the right lane and they hit you? Surely there would be no point in waiting for signal after that.
You didn’t even need to make a decision, as you put your hand on the door handle to step out into the brisk air, the headlights suddenly swerved and became aligned with you. They grew bigger and bigger, you were sure they were going to hit you, but they stopped.
You stared, scared, but knew this was your only shot at help. You stepped out.
The car that pulled up behind you stayed running, lights still shining, and you squinted to see past them. It looked like an SUV, much bigger than your own sedan, and could definitely do this drive without overheating no problem.
The driver’s side door opened, but you only saw the silhouette of it, still trying to block the headlights. You lifted your hand to your eyes to do so, and you saw a man get out. Ideally, for safety, you would have wanted a woman, but you couldn’t be picky when this was the first person you saw for almost an hour.
He walked over to you, and placed himself in front of the headlight so you could see him. Now, backlit, you could see the bulky build of a man, donned in a leather jacket with a fur collar, long hair falling down to his cheekbones, his breaths rolling off in slow puffs. He stood a good distance away from you, probably aware of how you might be feeling in this situation.
“You need help?” No shit, you wanted to answer, but couldn’t choke the words up. 
“Uh, yeah, I got stuck.” You turned briefly to look at the car. “It overheated. I lost signal to call for help.” 
The man nodded, walking around you and over to the hood of your car. He bent over and lifted it, messing around in there for a few seconds. You took one step closer to him, hugging yourself for warmth, now missing the inside of your car.
He shut it suddenly and walked back over. “You probably just have no antifreeze left. I don’t have any in my car, though. Do you know if you happen to have any?”
You stood staring at him for another second. “I’m gonna guess no, considering I’m not totally sure what you mean.” You could see him clearly now, standing in front of his headlights. His face was covered in dark shadows from his hair and the contours of his face, his deep brow casting darkness into his eyes, but you could still see they were blue. He had on a dark t-shirt, and it didn’t leave much to the imagination to picture the figure underneath. You met his eyes again.
He just nodded. “That’s alright. Not something you tend to prepare for.” He walked closer to you, but you stood your ground and let him approach you. “Want to come down the road with me to get some? There’s a 24/7 convenience just a few miles away. I can have you out of here within the hour.” You said nothing. You weren’t sure if you entirely wanted to do that, but you also didn’t want him to not come back at all. As if sensing your inner turmoil, he stuck his hand out towards you. “Leon Kennedy. I work for the state. I’m on the way home from a detail.”
You slowly extended your own hand, telling him your name. His hand was warm. You didn’t want to let go. “Detail? Are you a cop?”
He shrugged. “Sort of. I don’t want to leave you here. You should warm up.” You looked back at his car, still running, positive that the heat was blasting, and you gave in.
“Okay. But don’t think about trying anything. I can put up a hell of a fight, you know.” 
He laughed. “You have my word.”
You walked around to the passengers side and hopped in, hoisting yourself up into the surprisingly high cabin. You looked at the dash as he settled in, getting comfortable with the space. This was a much newer car than you were used to. 
His phone was connected to the bluetooth, music rumbling quietly out of the speakers. Deftones. Maybe I can trust him for now.
You subconsciously settled into the seat, the warmth enveloping you. The ride was much smoother than your own car, and you knew you weren’t going to stop the comparisons until this experience was over. You kept an eye to the left of you, still needing to be alert, you were in a stranger's car after all, even though you knew his name and job, that didn’t mean anything.
You saw him sneak a glance over at you, and you shot your eyes back down to the display on the dashboard. 
“You like them?” He hit a button on the steering wheel and turned the volume up a few notches. You could still hear him clearly. 
“Of course.” You let the silence hang for a second. Testing the waters, “If it was country, I might have had to pull a tuck and roll.”
He barked another laugh. At least he wasn’t stoic. “You’re lucky you didn’t catch me on a Wednesday, then.” You giggled. After saying nothing else, he continued. “What brought you to this position anyways?”
You sighed. “One of my good friends lives out here, about an hour away or so. I was on my way home. I know I shouldn’t have left this late, but in my defense, I didn;t know my car was going to overheat, so…” 
He hummed. “That’s not your fault. It happens. Can’t prepare for those things, again.”
You looked out the window to the pitch black nothingness as you rode past. You looked back over at him, he had his right forearm on the console while his left hand steered. “You seemed too prepared to stop, though. What if I killed you?”
His mouth quirked, and you couldn’t help but repeat it. “I could handle it if you tried to.”
You shrugged. “I don’t know, I could have surprised you. I’m stronger than I look. Men love to doubt the ones that are smaller than them.”
The smile on his face didn’t falter. “And what are you capable of against a man like me, then?” 
“I don’t think you want to find out. I’m dominating, you know.” Wait… what? You truly didn’t mean it to sound like that, but you couldn’t suck the words back up. You just furrowed your brows in frustration at yourself, and blamed the lack of sleep, the cold, your aggravation, whatever you could. Regardless of the words you couldn’t take back, Leon didn’t stop smiling. He turned his head a degree in your direction, and you could still see him out of your peripheral. 
A few minutes later, the convenience came into view and he pulled into the lot. You squinted at the bright lights of the parking lot. 
“Hang tight, I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
You only nodded, watching him stalk away into the building. You decided, seeing his full body in the lights, if you had met him under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t peg him as the helpful type of guy. His gait was strong, like it said Don’t fuck with me, or else. It almost made you giddy, knowing that you were the one being helped when he wouldn’t have otherwise. Like, in a romance book, when the bad boy doesn’t like anyone, but likes you. 
It wasn’t as uncomfortable as you had thought it would be. Maybe he was lightening up his personality so he wouldn’t scare you on purpose. If he really was just a helpful guy, the last thing he would want is to scare a young girl in the middle of nowhere at midnight. 
You were getting comfortable in the seat now, the heat wrapping around you, making you dread having to go back out into your cold car. You sighed even harder when you remembered that you still had a long ride to go before you could even go to bed.
Leon walked out of the store and back to the car, bottle of antifreeze in hand, and you tensed up when the cold air hit your skin as he opened the door.
He watched you as he lowered himself into the seat. “I didn’t mean it literally. You could have moved.” 
You shrugged with a smile as he closed the door again. “I didn’t need to.”
After a few minutes of chatting and listening to music, you arrived back at your car after needing to loop around to get back onto the right side of the road. You sighed and hit your head back against the seat of the car.
“What’s the sigh for? You get to go now.” Leon unblocked his seatbelt and took the bottle from where he left it on the console.
“Yeah, but it’s cold. I don’t want to get out.”
Leon grinned softly. “So don’t. I’ll be right back.” 
You sat and soaked up the heat while he went back over to your car, popped the hood, and disappeared behind it for a few minutes. You could only wonder how cold he must have been right now. Probably not very, maybe only his hands and neck, that jacket looks warm enough. You were stupid to only put a zip up on.
You looked down at your lap, then your gaze wandered to the interior of the car. It was very clean here. Leon did seem like the type to want to take care of his vehicle, and you were afraid to make any sort of move in case you put dirt on anything.
The backseat was empty, not even an extra piece of clothing (which there was plenty of in your own backseat), and you wondered how it was even possible for someone to be this neat.
You looked back through the windshield to see that Leon was still working in your hood. Your eyes fell lower to the glove compartment.
Realistically, this wouldn’t be the worst thing you could do right now, since you didn’t know Leon, and you could pass it off by wanting to assure yourself that you were safe, but at the same time, you felt guilty even thinking about it, since Leon had been nothing but nice to you so far. He trusted you enough to leave you alone in his pristine car while he helped you out.
That alone made you shift your gaze back up, pushed the thought of snooping down, and settled in to see Leon walking back to his car.
“Alright, you should be all set now. Hopefully it doesn’t happen again for another long while.” He shut the door next to him, and you gazed out at your car, making no moves. 
“How much?” You rolled your head over to look at him.
“Huh?” He furrowed his brow. 
“The antifreeze. How much was it?”
He breathed out a laugh, not moving much. “I don’t want your money.”
You shrugged. “You didn’t need to do this for me, this is the least I could do for your help.”
Leon simply looked at you. “I stopped because I wanted to help. I don’t want your money.”
You stared at him. His eyes were half lidded, a small smile was gracing his features. He was lit up from the light of his display screen, still softly playing Deftones. You could see the texture of his face, his lips, his hair. He was unmoving under the scrutiny of your gaze; yet so were you. 
“I can put up a fight. I’ll make you take it.”
His smile grew. “So the legend goes, as you’ve told me.” He moved his right arm to come back and rest on the console in between you two. “I’m not going to accept it, though.”
“So, what? Am I gonna have to force you to take it? Cause I’m not leaving until you do.” You settled right back into the seat. Leon kept smiling at you. “I’m defiant. And I’ll get my way. If I have to slap you around to take it.” Leon hummed and quirked an eyebrow at your words. It only added fuel to your confidence fire. “Even if I have to tie you down to prevent you from fighting.”
You looked at him with your eyebrows raised, showing you meant business, but he remained still. “Is that so?” You nodded. You saw him tighten his grip around the steering wheel, but the action didn’t frighten you. You could hear in his tone that he was mostly relaxed. You almost felt bad for being like this– it was late at night and he, too, was on his way home, but you simply couldn’t let this good deed go unrewarded.
“Open that.” His voice cut through your thoughts, his tone light, but his voice deep. You met his eyes to see where he was looking, which was in the direction of the glove compartment. See, you told yourself, good karma can aid curiosity. You looked at it and hesitated a moment, trying to scan your brain as quickly as possible to see if this would be a trick. After a few seconds, when you thought of nothing, you reached over.
Tumbling forward as soon as you swung the compartment open was a small black bag, maybe about the size of a water bottle. It stopped on the door itself, and you made no move to grab it. You simply looked over at Leon.
He was watching you intensely, his smile had disappeared, but his look was not stern or angry. It made your stomach twist with… something, but what exactly, you couldn’t tell. You slowly swung your gaze back over to it.
“I hope those weren’t empty threats you were throwing at me.” You kept your eyes on the bag, but the pieces started falling in place around you. In a whisper, barely loud enough for you to hear, Leon said, “Can’t you show me what you are capable of?”
Ice and fire ran through your veins simultaneously as you reached out to grab the bag, noticing upon touching it that it was smooth, silky. Holding it in your hands, you rotated it to find the opening. You could feel Leon staring at you. 
Finding the opening and flipping it downwards, you held onto the bag as you dumped the contents into your hands. A tightly wound bundle of black rope fell out.
You couldn’t form words for a minute, struggling to find air in your lungs. The rope was just as soft as the bag was, and you knew exactly why, exactly what the use intended for this was. You turned your head slowly to look over at Leon again. His head had rolled back to rest on the back of the car seat, but his gaze never left yours.
You found the energy to speak. “You come prepared for these types of situations?”
A slow smile blossomed on his features again. “I don’t usually need it. I guess, I never find myself wanting to use it.” He turned his head, looking back at the dash now, almost embarrassed at his words. A smirk was fighting its way through on your features. He licked his lips, then turned back to you. “I think now… maybe I do.”
You breathed a laugh, and turned the bundle over in your hands. “How am I going to hold up to my word if you want to use this on me?”
Leon leaned forward just a tad, looking you deep in the eyes. The blue light coming off of the digital display screen lit up his face, and though color was distorted, his cheeks had more hue to them. 
“I don’t want to tie you up…” You tilted your head up at the sudden realization. You held eye contact. 
“A big man like you? I didn’t imagine you’d be wanting me to do that to you…” You spoke slowly, not trying to give the impression that you were against the idea. Because, truly, you weren’t, at all. The idea of having him bound for you made your lungs cut the air supply short and had your knees weak. The power you felt sitting in this seat was immeasurable, hearing that the man who was twice your size wanted you to remove his sense of control, well, it had you thrumming with anticipation.
Leon huffed a laugh. He looked down, obviously slightly ashamed at having admitted this. “Well, you haven’t had much time to get to know me.”
You shifted in your seat, turning to him, bending slightly to get him to look into your eyes again. “So tell me, then. I have the time to listen.” 
He attempted a shrug, and leaned back at the same time so you could see his face clearer now. Some of his hair was covering his eyes, but you left it, though you did think about moving it for him. “I’m 27, I used to be a cop, still affiliated though, I do some late night stuff at the station…” He looked over. “I did just want to help you. Even if there was no one in the car, I probably would have stopped anyway.” You nodded, listening to every word. “I…” He trailed off, looking for the words to say. “I don’t… do much else. I’m not that interesting.”
“You have no girlfriend or wife?” You whispered, and though you knew, hoped, the answer would be no, you wanted to know why he thought the answer was no.
He shook his head, as predicted. “I don’t seem to have luck.” He laughed lowly, almost in a self-deprecating manor.
“Well, I hope this isn’t always how you try to pick up women, it’s kind of scary, you know.” You laughed, and he smiled with you.
“I never particularly bothered to go looking. I just figured they would come around.”
“You can’t always bet on fate like that, it might not get you anywhere.” You shrugged.
He raised an eyebrow. “It did tonight, though.”
You nodded, seeing the irony in the night. After a second of silence, you slightly shifted your position again. “So, now what? A man like you has me in your car, holding rope, that you already had in here, by the way, and you’re telling me you want me to use it to show you what I’m capable of.”
He shrugged and leaned back, breaking eye contact for a moment. A small smile played on his lips. “Well…” He sighed. “I think it will keep you warmer than you would be in your car.”
The two of you migrated to the backseat without another word. Something shifted in the air, some silent agreement had settled in between you two, and the moment the doors shut behind you, mouths on one another, heat rising, hands slithering in between, leaving no inch of skin left untouched. Leon was quick to snake his warm hands up your shirt and hike it over your head, but you let him, followed quickly by his own. His lips were soft and warm, the kiss became sloppy, greedy, you would have succumbed to it then and there if there wasn’t a promise to uphold.
You raked your hand through his hair, soft as silk, and gripped at the base of his head, making him moan into the kiss. The hand he placed on your waist gripped the flesh, and with one swift movement, you swung your leg over his to straddle him. It was already like he was at your mercy before you even took anything away from him, and it only made him look all the more desperate for you.
The kiss broke, and for a second the two of you were just staring at each other. You watched the rise and fall of his chest, which you had discovered with your hands before even seeing it, that it was incredibly toned, and you almost didn’t even want to stop touching him. HIs hands rested on your hips, holding you in place on top of him, eyes full of lust.
He shook his head slowly, forming a thought. “Are you sure you weren’t in charge of fate to make me find you tonight?”
You grinned, running your hands up his torso, you just couldn’t stop yourself. “If I was, don’t you think I would have made it a little more convenient for us?”
He sighed at your touch, head rolling backwards, closing his eyes. After a low hum of satisfaction, he replied. “I guess so… What about fate the second time around?” Your hands slid up to his shoulders, feeling the texture underneath your palms, all of the skin and bone and muscle. You pushed yourself down into his lap, already feeling his hardening dick through his jeans, making him groan louder, and you sigh in relief.
“We haven’t even gotten started and you are already thinking of round two…” You leaned in, teasing a breath along his neck, then gently licking on his jawline. The skin of your stomach felt the heat that he was producing, and you pressed your bodies together, the contact feeling like bliss.
“I already know I’ll need you again.” He said in a whisper, and the sheer intensity that it caused within you made you lean in and bite the tender skin under his jaw, and he moaned, gripping your waist even tighter.
Your hands kept running along his skin, desperate to get even more contact between you two. Your mind was getting foggy with desire, needing to be as close to Leon as possible, as much as the small space in his backseat would allow. His fingers were starting to dip below the waistline of your pants, and while you almost let him slide them past, you grabbed onto his hand and pulled it out, remembering the reason you were in the backseat in the first place.
“Don’t forget why we’re here…” You mumbled into his ear, where you were still pressed up against him. You heard him sigh, as well as felt it, and finally pushed yourself off of him.
He looked up at you from under his half-lidded eyes. “Tell me what you want me to do, then. I’ll do anything.” His voice was breathy and low, and his hands came down to rest on the top of your thigh. You sat up as straight as you could, feeling all of the control get handed over to you in that one second. Involuntarily, a chill ran through your body. Cold air had hit your heated skin as you parted, as well as the added sensations that Leon was contributing to. He pushed himself up, leaned past you to the front seat, one hand steadying you on your lower back. When he fell back, he put the shoulders of his jacket over you.
He sighed as he leaned back, examining your frame as it rested over him, straightening your posture as the warmth fell around you. “Looks better on you anyway…” 
You stared at him for another moment before your brain kicked into action. “Hold your hands out,” You whispered, and he obeyed. You reached behind you and grabbed the bundle of rope. “You’ll behave if I tie you up like this?” 
“Yes…” He breathed out, watching your hands as they wrapped and knotted the rope around his wrists, not too tight, but he couldn’t slip out of it too easily. You felt a surge of confidence at the mere premonition of you tying up a huge, muscled man, submitting to your dominance. You felt heat pool in between your legs as his head fell back, his chest flexed, and the feeling of his hard cock poking you through his pants. You were suddenly glad your car gave out on you on this random night.
This brings you to your current position. Everything playing an equal hand in getting this man in his own backseat underneath you, staring up with sinful eyes. You weren’t sure what to do first, you wanted to do everything to this man, and let him do everything to you. 
He had already professed his need for you to take him in your mouth, and you were itching to keep teasing him, but as a reward for not leaving you stranded, you were going to play nice with him.
HIs breathing was ragged and his eyes were locked on you, not daring to look away as your hands snaked closer and closer to the button on his jeans. Your fingers flitted over the tent in his pants, the sensation barely registering with him, and he bucked his hips up, but you pressed them back down by his hips. 
“Patience… patience baby…” You murmured, not looking up from where your hands were dancing around letting him loose. He whined, and the sound traveled straight to your core, making you all the more desperate. As a second reward for obeying your command, you pressed your palm fully into his hardened cock, and he groaned and threw his head back. You smirked in response, now needing the skin on skin contact. 
Your hands made quick work of the button and zipper, and he lifted his hips when you pulled down his waistband of both his jeans and underwear. His erection sprang out, slapping his toned stomach, and you felt saliva pooling in the corners of your mouth, slick gathering in between your legs, and Leon was almost shaking with anticipation.
You wrapped a delicate hand around his dick and he whined again, his chest shuddering with shallow breaths, sighing out profanities at the contact. He was so warm and hard in your hand, and even just the ginger strokes you were delivering had him crumbling under you.
The other hand that wasn't wrapped around him came up to brace yourself on his chest, and his skin matched the temperature of his throbbing girth. His tip was leaking profusely, and you brought your thumb up to press through it and spread it, which elicited another whimper from within him. The friction was dry, and you were sure it didn't feel the best for Leon, but there were no signs of pain in his expression, and if you kept this up long enough, he might cum from this alone. 
He was of average length, but you were never one to complain, especially not in a situation like this, and it was a benefit when the attempt to deepthroat him came along, knowing it would make it easier. You couldn’t wait any longer, and even though watching him writhe under you was more pleasure than you expected, you needed more.
You leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to his neck, coated in a thin layer of sweat. You made a brief note of how hot it was in the car now, probably all from him, and though it was completely dark outside, you were sure the windows were foggy. He sighed at your lips on his skin. 
“Thank you for being so good to me,” You spoke softly to him, and you lifted your head to press your lips together, which he hungrily accepted. Your body fell forward slightly, your hand still balancing on his hard chest, and you could feel his arms in between the both of you, but he was not protesting. 
You pulled away, but hovered over his face and pressed your foreheads together. He whispered, “Need you so bad…” heavily breathing onto your lips. You grinned, seeing he was quickly reaching the brink of his patience. 
“I got you baby,” Another quick kiss, but you pulled away before he could deepen it. “You’re being a good boy for me.” He quietly moaned at the praise, and let you remove yourself from on top of him. You hopped off his lap and sunk to your knees in between his legs, looking up once last time to see his pretty face before ducking your head, and licking a thick stripe up the length of his cock. 
His groan was louder than it had been before, and you felt his whole body shudder with his breaths. The saliva that had been gathering in your mouth coated him easily, and when your tongue met the tip, with a swipe to collect the precum (which resulted in another sharp whine), you let all of your spit pour over your lips and leak down the sides, which you hastily swept up with your hand, and continued to pump his dick with. 
Every breath that he released was paired with some sort of noise, whether it be a groan, a whine, a whimper, anything that you were doing to him right now was causing him to quickly become unwound, and just seeing him fall apart under your hands was causing your strokes to become harder, quicker, and you stopped refusing him to buck his hips in your hand because you loved seeing how desperate he was becoming. You could see the veins in his forearms and biceps, the flexing of his arms against the rope around his wrists, and it made you weaker to know he was the only person keeping him within those restraints, and he could flip the power dynamic at any moment if he wanted to. But, he didn’t, and he let himself be dominated.
With another lick from base to tip, your lips closed over his head, our tongue dipped and swirled around the soft skin, the tangy salt of his precum coating your tastebuds, and at once, you took his entirety into your mouth. A rough gasp came from Leon as you swallowed him whole, pressing your tongue against the underside of his cock, feeling every ridge and bump. Your hand continued to work below where you could reach, giving gentle squeezes, and your other hand occasionally worked his balls, causing him to throw his head back every few seconds.
You were reveling in his taste at this moment, every bead of precum that spurted out of his tip was lapped up instantly, mixing in with your spit as you took him in your mouth, your tongue studying and memorizing his shape and size. You sucked him down like it was your last moment to ever be with him, hoping you would be able to find yourself in this position with him again. 
“Fuck… fuck, you feel so good…” Leon couldn’t contain the words spilling out of his mouth, he was losing sanity it seemed with every movement you made with your tongue, every stroke your hand delivered, and every time you opened your throat to shove him as far back as you could. He would whimper every time you stifled a gag at trying to deepthroat his length, loving the way you worked past pain just to have more of him. 
You could feel so much heat and wetness within yourself, and as much as you wanted to relieve your own pressure, you knew you wouldn't be done with Leon after you made him cum.
After another hit to the back of the throat with his tip, you heard him whine out, “I’m so… I’m so close, fuck–” paired with more gasps and whimpers. His fists were balled up so tight, the rope was straining against his flexing, and his mouth hung open as he watched you take him all. 
Your hand that wasn’t on his cock was gripping his thick thigh, feeling it twitch underneath your palm. You gripped it tighter, deciding against an urge to want to edge him, not able to fight your own need to taste him. 
After another lick, you released him from your mouth and resorted to stroking him so you could talk and breathe for a moment. “How close are you, baby?” Your breathing was heavy, and you could feel the spit hanging off your lips, still connected in thin strings to his tip.
He gasped again at the feeling of cool air touching his wet dick. “So… so close,” He bucked his hips again into your hands and you let him, liking watching him chase his own release.
“Where do you want it, huh? I’ll let you decide.” You kept working his dick while he tried his hardest to contain himself.
He groaned, clearly struggling to speak through all of the sensations. “I… I, oh, god, anywhere…” His head was back against the seat again, and this time it seemed to stay there while you kept touching him. Underneath his arms, you could see his torso tensing and relaxing with the way his whole body was pulsing, and even through the darkness you could tell he was toned, insanely so, you could see the rigid outlines of ab muscles where his arms weren’t blocking them. Sharp lines contoured his hips where they dipped into his pelvis, akin to a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end that you currently had in your hands, dripping with precum and saliva. You couldn’t take it. You needed to see him blissed out.
You moved your hand back down to the base and planted your flat tongue on the underside of his cock, licking all the way up to the tip. “Come on, cum for me, I’ll let you…” With quick movements and the occasional lick to his tip, you brought him closer and closer to his release, and you could see it written all over his face whenever he put his head back up to look down at you. His brows were furrowed, his mouth open, and you could see the glint on his face from sweat. 
“Shit, oh, fuck, I–I’m coming,--” Leon rasped out as much as he could through his thick breaths, body convulsing the second he hit the threshold of his release. You felt it the same time you saw it, his dick throbbed under your palm and a rope of hot white cum spurted upward, landing on his stomach, some on his hands, and yours. You hastily pressed your mouth to the tip, feeling it coat your tongue, the roof of your mouth, drip to the back of your throat. You kept your tongue pressed to the underside of the head, feeling that, too, pulse with his orgasm. He was groaning in tandem with this happening, and you lapped up everything he had to offer, the salty, hot, viscous liquid sitting heavy in your mouth. You choked back a gag with the swallow, but it made it down, and you cleaned your hand, his twitching dick, and wherever it landed on him by licking it up. He whimpered at the feeling of your tongue on his hands.
“You looked so good for me,” You whispered into the air as you slowly rose from your position, and hovered over him. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me like this…” You looked down at him, spent, panting, eyes lazily making eye contact with you, but you could see so much more in his gaze. 
A second passed before either of you spoke again. Without moving too far, you brought a hand down to untie the rope, and his hands came to rest over your thigh once they were free. The rope lay discarded on the floor.
“We still have the rest of the night… don’t we?” Your stomach turned at his implication, he still wanted you, and he was still ready to keep going. Your hand came up to gently touch the side of his neck, thumb tracing the edge of his jawline.
“We have however long you want. I’m not done with you.” 
He grinned, his eyes opened a little further this time, and his hands left your thighs to hold your face as he kissed you deeply, blissfully ignoring your phone incessantly ringing, abandoned in the front seat.
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floatyflowers · 4 months
Text
Dark! Percy Jackson Reverse Harem x Reader|| Chapter three
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<<< Chapter Two
A lot has happened, Clarisse and her cabin mates. bullied you and Percy-
-Ok, they bullied Percy and didn't do anything to you because Ares has forbidden them.
And when she tried to speak to you, Percy flipped and 'bended' the toilet water, and attacked them.
And there you met Annabeth, who you think is very cool.
Maybe because you like Athena.
Right now, you are sitting beside Percy eating a muffin as Luke explains how he met Annabeth.
"Before camp, I was on the road. Me and a forbidden kid I met along the way. Her name was Thalia."
"And what does that mean, forbidden?" the blond boy inquires.
"A long time ago, Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades agreed their children were becoming too powerful, so they made a pact not to father any more."
You listen carefully to the explanation, feeling like your mother told you something like that before.
In a fairytale narration.
"And it held for a long time, until Zeus broke that pact. Until Thalia"
"Of course, it's always Zeus' fault, no surprise here" You mock and roll your eyes.
Luke chuckles before continuing.
"A forbidden kid attracts trouble. Monsters everywhere, it’s just a constant battle to stay alive."
You look at Percy, ignoring the rest of the speech
Just so you can focus on connecting the dots.
Percy can control water.
His father is the godly parent.
Percy is Poseidon's son even if he haven't claimed him yet.
"Oh my god, Percy"
The two boys turn to you.
"You still haven't found out who is your father...have you never paid attention to what Chiron told us in class about Greek gods"
You exclaim while Percy's eyes widens, Luke seems to understand what you are implying.
"You are bright, (Y/n)" the older demigod compliments you.
"Then do you know who is it?"
Before you could reply, a conch shell blows as Chiron begins speaking.
"Heroes… it’s time!"
You sigh, remembering that it is time for the flag capturing.
°°°
"This is your first time in capturing the flag and you said you are going to protect me?"
"Don't worry, everything will be fine"
Percy assures you, as he flosses.
"You are hopeless" you assert.
On the other hand, you gently pick up a lizard and start patting it.
Until Percy decides to cut in, and also pat the beautiful creature.
"It's so cute"
"I agree"
He looks at you the same moment your eyes meet his own.
Percy leans in slowly, ready to kiss you on the lips, closing his eyes.
Unfortunately for him, you playfully put the Lizard against his lips.
He opens his eyes quickly, backing away and wiping his lips.
"Why you do that?" Percy whines.
"I thought you said it was cute" you tease him.
Suddenly Clarisse comes in with her flag mates.
"Flag’s that way. It’s not here." Percy says.
"We know. Yeah, glory’s fine. Revenge is more fun."
Clarisse turns on her spear before staring directly at you.
"You should stay away from frauds like him, dear niece"
Chapter Four >>>
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lazycats-stuff · 4 months
Note
HEYYY, firstly how are you! I wanted to ask if you could write about a teen male reader with the Batfam. He is kinda like the winter soldier if you know what I mean ( skilled fighter, metal arm..), since he lived with the Batfam he was doing a good mental recovery, but one day he goes back to winter soldier mode on the fam, and they try to get him back to normal again, idk
Thanks you bye !
Hi anon, I'm well and I hope you are doing okay too. I can do it, no worries.
Summary: (Y/N) gets back into the Winter Soldier mode.
Warnings: implications of torture, mind control, mentions of Hydra, Bruce is sad for (Y/N), some violence... And everything else that goes with Hydra and brain washing.
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The road to recovery is often a long one. Bruce thought of it when he first saw (Y/N), aka the Winter Soldier. The infamous one, a ghost within the intel community. Many people didn't believe that the Winter Soldier even existed. But the trail of neat and clean murders was the one thing that made Bruce think there is something more.
Of course, the way to get (Y/N) was hell. Hell being and understatement of the decade. Bruce at one thought that he was indeed chasing a Ghost, but something in his mind told him that the Winter Soldier was real. Something in his gut made him chase that ghost.
Months of chasing, fighting and hoping he would be alive by the next encounter, they finally got him. Bruce was lucky to be alive. He hugged all of his kids right then and there. (Y/N) was put into a glass box, strong enough to contain Bane.
(Y/N) refused to back down, refused to retreat. He punched the glass of the cage with his metal arm and some were worried that he would actually brake it. Bruce knew that even if he broke the glass, he had no handler anymore.
His organization has been destroyed. Everyone important was caught. Those who weren't... Well, their time was running out. They may have scattered like rats, but you can bet your ass on anything that the League would find them all. Especially since they didn't burn down their base. One hell of a mistake.
Bruce and the rest searched through the base and they found something that can only be considered as a holy grail when it comes to someone who was brainwashed.
A dark red book, bounded in leather, with all the trigger words written on those pages... Bruce knew that he has hit a jackpot. He looked through them and then has decided to burn it. They also found the footage of (Y/N)'s brainwashing,
The footage, as much as it is damning, making it very easy to persecute anyone they needed, it was also nauseating. (Y/N) was tortured with electricity, memory wiped with electricity... Worse of all, (Y/N) fighting.
It had shaken Bruce to his core and made him triple check the manor security and it has made him check on his sons 5 times that night. He couldn't sleep at all. He refused to sleep that one single evening and night.
And when he stood in front of the glass cage, (Y/N) looked utterly defeated. He was sitting down, looking down at his metal arm and his human arm. He seemed mad beyond belief that he was even caught. Bruce knew he would have to be delicate and gentle with this (Y/N). He had taken the book with him, to try and have some sort of leverage.
And to show him that he was free. (Y/N) was finally free of the mental shackles that they have put on him. Bruce took a chair and sat down near the cell, but far enough to make sure that there was some sort of space.
He couldn't have (Y/N) feel cornered.
He sat down, book in his lap. (Y/N) still looked down, but looked up after a few moments.
" They will come and get me back. " (Y/N) said and Bruce wanted to laugh.
" Hydra is gone. " Bruce simply stated and watched (Y/N)'s reaction.
Nothing. Huh.
" Lies. "
Bruce stayed calm and shook his head. " I'm afraid I'm telling you the truth. The book you see in my hands? The book with your trigger words. Do you really think they would hand it over ever so willingly? " Bruce asked, showing him the dark red leather book.
" You are officially free. " Bruce said as and watched the way (Y/N) reacted.
Bruce nearly broke when he saw hope in (Y/N)'s eyes. He never lost hope.
" I'll never be free... " (Y/N) said quietly, looking at his metal arm. Bruce saw that it was not a nice arms, made with quality. While it looked strong, it wasn't made to be comfortable. And Bruce could see the claw marks at the part where the flesh and metal met.
" That may be true. But you can start healing. You can start working through all of the trauma that they put you through. Mental scars will always be there, but I can help you. " Bruce said softly and (Y/N) was still emotionless and with hope glimmering in his eyes, there was something else too. Bruce could only decipher it as happiness, but he knew that (Y/N) would rather die than admit it.
" I'll be with you the entire way. I have a great friend who can help you unpack everything they put you through. And I can give you a better metal arm, something that wouldn't be so uncomfortable and something that reminds you off the organization. " Bruce said as he looked at (Y/N), holding the book close.
" And what about the book? "(Y/N) asked quietly and Bruce knew exactly what (Y/N) meant.
" It will be destroyed by me. I wanted to show you that the thing keeping you in their grasp is destroyed. Well, will be destroyed. " Bruce said as he put the book down on the chair before moving closer.
" And you can officially start your new life. "
" I'm not sure if I can... " (Y/N) said softly and the defenses were slowly cracking.
" I can assure you, you can. You will have to put some work into it, but it will pay off. I'll be there to help you to start. "
" But the feeling of guilt will never go away, will it? "
" After some time it will. One way is to go through therapy and work it out or you can become a hero. But that only if you want it and after you went through therapy. " Bruce said softly.
" Maybe then I'll atone for it... " (Y/N) said softly.
" One step at the time (Y/N). One step at the time. " Bruce said softly.
And that's exactly what has happened at the time. Bruce made sure to be with (Y/N) before and after the therapy sessions. He made sure (Y/N) knew he had support while he was talking to the Black Canary. And once Black Canary said he could start meeting new people, Bruce slowly started bringing his sons around.
Damian knew exactly how (Y/N) felt. Being in that environment is not easy and it's just the battle of the fittest. And one hell of a battle for your mind. You truly had to be strong enough to make sure to not completely break. Somehow, (Y/N) has kept his humanity, but he had to give a part of his soul to keep it.
Jason just talked to him about stuff and has made sure that he has access to TV shows and movies. (Y/N) needed to be connected to the outside world. And also, Jason has been bringing books for (Y/N) to read. Jason took him his favorites and often took him some classics. (Y/N) appreciated it and liked all the recommendations that Jason has brought to him. It was a nice break.
Tim has always sneaked in some snacks and the two would just talk. It was a hell of a time and since (Y/N) has started school, Tim would help with mathematics and some other subjects. (Y/N) couldn't really go to a public school or any type of school, but he still needs his high school diploma.
And Dick? Dick has been involved in making sure that (Y/N) was getting physical activity. (Y/N) was stiff in Dick's opinion and he wanted to make sure (Y/N) felt good in his body too. Dick did stretches, some tricks and considering that (Y/N) did have some knowledge about gymnastics, it was slightly easier. Not to mention, stretches were something that everyone needs.
About a year after being saved, (Y/N) has moved into the Wayne Manor. It was a nice change of scenery for (Y/N). Beautiful manor, garden, not to mention no noises... And Titus, the Great Dane being an emotional support animal for (Y/N)...
(Y/N) was incredibly happy, but had hard time showing it. Everyone knew but didn't comment on it. They were helping him get adjusted to his new life now and they were more than happy to help. And one thing that made (Y/N) happy out of his mind was the fact that he got a new metal arm. It was black, with red, blue and green accents. It was something to signalized that he was a member of the family.
Bruce was going to adopt him soon enough. Just give him some time and he will do it.
But something happened at the two month mark. Something made him reverse back into the Winter Soldier mode. Bruce was certain that they wiped the triggers from his mind. Not to mention, the boys remembered the trigger words, just in case something like this happened and that they could be careful.
But something must have snapped inside of (Y/N). The boys were careful, but something must have gone awry. Something.
Jason and Dick were the first ones to see it and were the first ones to see it and the brunt end of it. Jason was hurled out the window, while Dick was thrown at the wall like a rag doll. The commotion woke Tim up and Damian was curious as to what was going on.
They were also thrown around the room.
" (Y/N), you are not a Winter Soldier, relax! " Jason said as he made his way through the window, grunting at the pain.
" Please, (Y/N) this is not you! " Dick yelled as he gripped his sides, huffing and panting.
(Y/N), seemingly didn't hear anything and nothing was reaching him. The cold and murderous look in his eyes was more than enough to tell them that they had to subdue him.
Somehow.
Damian jumped on (Y/N)'s shoulders, trying to take his metal arm off. Once they get that off, they are going to be fine. They hope at least.
" (Y/N) come on! Fight it! " Damian raised his voice, trying to make (Y/N) see his senses. (Y/N) didn't listen and threw himself into the wall, back first to throw Damian off and then he threw Damian into the shelves, making him groan in pain.
Bruce walked in from the outside and froze in shock. His adopted sons in various stages of pain and (Y/N) in the Winter Soldier mode. Bruce stayed calm as he glanced over his sons.
They were alive and breathing. That's the important thing right now.
" (Y/N) listen to me. " Bruce said softly as he moved closer, quickly checking on his sons, who were all softly confirming that they were good.
" Look at me. Remember me. It's Bruce. You are safe. The Winter Soldier doesn't control you, you control him. " Bruce said, raising his hands in the air, trying to make sure that he didn't look like threatening.
" You control him, remember that. " Bruce said as he quickly checked on Jason.
(Y/N) looked like he was confused and shook his head. Bruce watched in silence as (Y/N) was getting his bearings together. And once he saw tears falling down his cheeks, he swooped in and hugged his son.
(Y/N) wept as Bruce embraced him and everyone, including Alfred, brought him into a hug. It was a tight hug and Bruce refused to let (Y/N) shatter. And (Y/N) felt safe Bruce's embrace, but by God, guilt was eating him alive.
Apologies were falling from his lips and everyone assured him that it wasn't his fault. It really wasn't his fault.
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norrisleclercf1 · 7 months
Note
hii! can i please request a mafia! carlos with reader who are in an arranged marriage and 2 months into the marriage reader is victim of a kidnapping which gets her very sick and Carlos takes care of her while also getting revenge? thank you so much ( i love your writing it’s amazing!)
A/N: I've missed writing for Mafia!Carlos he's just sdfksjlfa especially after those Ferrari gala pcis
Never touch what belongs to Carlos Sainz. This was the golden rule of staying alive and out of sight of the Mafia Leader. Don't touch and don't yearn for what is his, especially his pretty fiancée now wife. Carlos made the rules very clear, touch them and he'll murder you in the most exotic and painful ways to die.
He was careful of you, making sure you were treated with the outmost respect and making sure you were safe and happy. Yes, it was an arranged marriage but that didn't mean he'd treat you horribly. He bought you anything you lingered at too long and of course you'd tell him you didn't need it, but he still bought it.
Carlos and you formed a friendship built on some trust and respect. Waking that morning, it was like any other. You are getting ready, Calros showering him coming out in the towel and kissing your cheek. You giggle and pull him to your vanity as you fix his hair. "Mi felicidad, don't worry about me." He grumbles, trying his best not to let out the moan. Your fingers always felt like magic against his skull.
"Let me do this, you do so much for me." You whisper finishing the last strand happy with the way it sits. "There you go," Carlos smiles and reaches around, grabbing your hand. "Thank you," Placing a kiss on your hand.
After that, your day carries on like normal. Sending a quick text you tell Carlos you're running to the grocery making sure you'd pick up his favorite beer and snacks. He sends you back a text, saying to be careful and he'll see you when you get back.
Smiling you carry the groceries to the car, you stop feeling something heavy hit you in the back of the head, and all you can see is darkness wrapping you tight.
"She should be back," Carlos grounds out, trying to stay calm before he jumps to the worst possible things. "Maybe the store is busy, maybe traffic, shit." Carlos pulls at his hair, but curses as he messes it up. He hates messing up his hair when you're the one who fixed it. "Sir," Carlos whips around, feeling his entire being drop out from under him as he sees his guard holding your bag and broken groceries.
Everything hurt, even that voice in your head was hurting, how was that even possible. "Conejita?" A muffled voice pulls you out of the darkness, trying to open your eyes. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here." Fingers move into your scalp and start to move their thick fingers gently. "I'm right here, and not going anywhere you're safe." The voice fades out as darkness sucks you in again.
"Sir, you need to get some rest." The Mafia doctor whispers, being careful to not anger the growing storm in his boss. "I'll rest when the monsters who did this are dead." Carlos growls, he stops when you whimper and squirm in your sleep. "How's the infection?" Carlos asks, looking at your bandaged side.
"Somewhat better, the antibiotics are working but it'll be a long recovery road." The doc whispers, injecting another dose of the medication. "Good, if she dies," The doctor freezes, already knowing that threat aout to leave his mouth.
He's told everyone that touches you; if you die, so do they. His revenge has been a slow process, as you've been on the mend for 3 weeks and only you opening your eyes maybe 3 or 4 times. He was there for each time and his voice the only one you heard. You knew he was there; his hand was holding yours.
Carlos doesn't know when the man leaves, all he knows is you're breathing, and color was coming back. "Mi corazón, babe, Y/n, I need you to wake up. Please, come back to me." Carlos whispers, having never missed a person like this before. He was craving you like a drug.
"Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but," Carlos turns, placing a quick kiss before he stands. "Did you find them?" "Yes sir, they're here." Carlos rolls his neck and shoulders before smirking, a dark look crossing his face. "Well then, let's get to work."
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celtic-crossbow · 1 month
Text
Blood Ties Chapter 29
Series Masterlist
Warnings: Slightly graphic depictions of labor and childbirth A/N: Maybe a cliffhanger. Maybe not. You'll have to read to find out! ;) Daryl is definitely ooc in this. I'm sorry, I tried to get as close as I could to how he might react. Also, the saying he uses is one we use in the south that means "how is that relevant?" You'll know it when you read it, lol.
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“About 4cm now. Progressing nicely.” Hershel informed, wiping his hands on a cloth that Carol had provided. 
Rick and T-Dog were out doing yet another night run in the van. It was also low on fuel but the map showed another town close by. Fuel, gloves, and other necessities were on the list. Glenn was on watch with Daryl for backup if anything happened. It wasn’t an ideal situation but it couldn’t be helped.
Thumper was calling the shots at that point. 
Before the men had left, Daryl had confiscated all the blankets except for those that were for Lori and Carl. When Glenn began to complain, one look from the anxiety-driven archer had brought the young man very close to hiding behind Rick. While some blankets were used for your comfort, others were fashioned into a tent-like structure over the bare branches of a decently sized bush. You needed some sense of privacy. 
Carol and Lori had dug through the maternity clothes that hadn’t been lost on the road and found a button up dress. It was comfortable and made things much easier than leggings. 
After your immediate needs had been met, Daryl then perched himself just beside your shoulder and hadn’t moved since. 
“S’the number we’re aimin’ for?” He asked with frustration lacing his tone, making sure the blankets were back over you and tucked tight to keep you warm. He had been muttering to himself how he wished he had made time to read the rest of the books. Daryl was not a man that liked being in the dark on anything. It made him feel helpless, as you had learned over the last several months. 
“She needs to be at 10cm and the baby needs to be in the correct position before she can push.” The old man positioned the ear tubes of the stethoscope before pressing it against several spots on your belly. “Heart beat is strong. Everything is looking good.”
You had remained quiet until that moment. “Do I just—I don’t know—lay here?”
“Walking encourages the cervix to dilate and soften. Once you dilate a little further, the contractions will likely be stronger, whether painful or not.” The calmness that man practiced really made you want to strangle him with that stethoscope. “Make sure you don’t go alone, and—”
“She ain’t.” Daryl snapped. 
Hershel shot him an admonishing look. “As I was saying, take breaks. Sleep when you can. I’ll check you periodically. You’ll need to keep timing the contractions, son.” Daryl nodded. “Sip small amounts of water, no food. Keep me informed of any changes. And as unpleasant as it may sound, if you feel the pressure and urge as if you may need to have a bowel movement, call for me immediately.”
You, as well as Daryl, reared back, lips curling. 
“The fuck that gotta do with the price’a fish?” The archer queried, not so nicely. 
“Settle down. The pressure from the baby’s head moving into the birth canal can feel similar to that.” Shaking his head, Hershel shuffled his way out of your tiny tent. 
Finally alone, you turned onto your side and scooted your upper body toward Daryl. He stretched out his legs so you could rest on his thigh. 
“Get some rest.” His hand wiggled beneath the blanket and rubbed up and down the length of your upper arm, but moved to your belly when another contraction took over. Without prompting, he slid his warm palm around to your lower back and applied the least bit of pressure, rubbing small circles. You buried your face into his thigh to ride it out, but you had to admit the light massaging helped, if only a little. 
“You’re supposed to be—” You were panting when you rolled your head to remind him, but found the watch already lifted to eye level, his gaze shifting from it to your stomach. 
“Sleep if ya can. I got this.” His brow was furrowed in concentration, your heart swelling and warm. Any worry you had entertained of him running when things got real, just gone in an instant. He was there. He was there. 
“I’ll try.” You whispered, the pain finally an afterthought. You felt him slide his hand back to the side of your stomach before you let yourself succumb to exhaustion. 
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“Sorry, Sunshine. Doc says up, so up ya get.”
You let Daryl take your dead weight and pull you up by a grip beneath your arms, making it as difficult as possible so you might get to stay in your warm little nest. You were still at 4cm. Hershel had said you had to start walking to help labor progress. 
“This isn’t fair.” You whined, rubbing your back once you were upright. The pain that accompanied each contraction had lessened but was still ever present. “Can’t you walk and I dilate?”
Daryl snorted. “Don’t think that’s how it works.” He placed a careful hand on the small of your back and kept your pace, slow as it was. 
“Okay, then how about if it gets worse, I kick you in the balls and punch you in the kidneys so you can participate properly?” You were only half joking. 
“If it gets ya through this, I guess.” The archer shrugged. You regarded him with a skeptical brow arched. 
“You’d really let me do that?”
“Hell nah, but s’the thought that counts or some shit like that, right?” He didn’t even try to dodge the smack you aimed at his shoulder. 
“You’re hilarious.” You deadpanned, even as you leaned into him while you strolled in circles around the perimeter. The moonlight caught the watch in his right hand, his finger tapping against the casing. Bless him, he was taking his role of supportive partner very seriously. You gasped when the next contraction came, stopping to bend slightly and breathe through it while Daryl secured an arm around you and flipped open the watch. 
When it was clear you weren’t falling, he slid his hand to the middle of your back and massaged the length of your spine using gentle pressure from the heel of his palm. He never said much—if anything—during the episodes themselves, but kept you informed of the timing of each one. 
“Oh, goddamnit, this one sucks.” You managed through clenched teeth. You swayed slightly when it was over, grasping blindly for the man next to you. 
“Thirteen minutes since the last’un. A minute, twelve.” He was slow and careful when turning you back toward camp. “Let’s getcha back to Hershel.” 
You shook your head. “One last loop, then we can go back.” Daryl didn’t say anything but you felt him tense. “I’m sure. They’re just getting a little more painful in the stomach, less in the back.” 
He still hesitated. “Alright. One more.”
Hershel stepped into your path before you started the second loop, allowing Daryl to fill him in on the last contraction. 
“Do one more. Rest. And then again.” The old man ordered curtly. 
Once he had vanished back toward the small fire, you mocked his words. “Rest and then again.” Daryl shook his head beside you. “I mean seriously, how much help can walking actually be?”
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“Fuuuuuck!” You were digging your fingers into the blankets below you, swatting away Carol’s hand when she tried to dab your face with a piece of cloth. Daryl was sitting beside you, wide-eyed and lost, the watch forgotten by his leg. Hershel was between your knees, sporting his medical gloves that had been brought back by Rick and T-Dog. 
The archer cleared his throat. “She alright?” 
“Do I look alright, Daryl?!” You hissed, making an admirable attempt at breathing the way Carol was instructing. The contraction finally ended and you fell back onto the folded blankets. “I’m sorry.” You found his worried blue eyes easily and fumbled for his hand. 
“S’okay.” He whispered, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. 
“She’s at 6cm. We can still time the contractions but I think she may need your attention more than that watch does now.” Hershel reached for the item and placed it in his pocket once Daryl handed it over. “Keep moving but stay closer, no more perimeter walks.”
Daryl nodded, you whimpered. 
“I’ll be back soon to check again. If we’re lucky, things will move a little faster now that you’re in active labor.” Hershel left the tent while Carol fixed your dress. 
“I know it hurts, but you two will have little Thumper in your arms in just a matter of hours.” She smoothed your hair and tucked it behind your ears. “You’re doing great.”
“I don’t feel like I’m doing great.” You murmured, ducking your head almost bashfully. “I’m really sorry I snapped at you, Daryl. It just—well, it hurts and it’s hard to think.”
“Ain’t mad.” He tried for a half smile but it was weak. “Better than gettin’ kicked in the balls, I reckon.” You laughed and squeezed his hand. “Guess we oughtta getcha up again.”
“I’ll help.” Carol offered. You could see that a refusal was on the tip of Daryl’s tongue but he never voiced it. With Carol under one arm and Daryl under the other, you were pulled upright. 
Your body already felt wrung out and sore, and the epic finale hadn’t even begun. Still, you allowed Carol to pass you off to Daryl. 
“We movin’ on? Be better to find a house or somethin’.” He looped an arm around your back, following as you shuffled your way around. 
Carol shrugged, not touching you but keeping up with your small strides. “Both vehicles have fuel but Hershel isn’t sure we should move her. He thinks the baby will come soon and she needs to be kept in one place.”
You groaned, letting your head fall back in frustration. “She is right here. And if my opinion matters, I’d rather not—” The contraction came on strong, halting you suddenly with your hand fisting into the lower part of Daryl’s vest. The archer stepped around in front of you, rough but gentle hands grasping your wrists to guide your arms to his shoulders. 
“Try to breathe. Sometimes humming or even moaning helps, like an outlet.” Carol advised while rubbing your back. 
Your head fell forward against Daryl’s chest, a deep but quiet moan muffled against the firm muscle beyond his shirt. His hands had fallen to your hips, his body followed you as you swayed back and forth. The episodes were growing more intense, coming closer together and lasting longer. It wasn’t difficult to surmise that things would be growing more difficult to handle. 
“Ain’t nothin’ we can do for ‘er?” Daryl asked quietly above you, each word blowing his warm breath over the top of your head. Carol must have answered in the negative because his fingers flexed against your hips. 
The skin of your belly was pulled so tightly that you swore it would tear open, the muscles feeling as if they would pulse right out of the gaping hole your torn flesh would leave. 
“Shit.” You whimpered, your voice finding its way back during the last dregs of pain. You almost didn’t register warm hands gliding up and down your sides, a smaller hand on your back. “I don’t want to have the baby here.” You argued weakly. “It’s too open. Things will be too chaotic, too loud.”
“I know, Sunshine, but the doc says—”
“I don’t want to risk Thumper here in the open, Daryl. With—with walkers or people.” With enough strength having returned after the pain, you lifted your head, eyes pleading. “Please.”
The archer was visibly upset. He was just as vulnerable as you were at that moment, torn between what he felt was right and what Hershel said was for the best. His tongue wet his bottom lip before he pulled it in between his teeth, looking to Carol for guidance. 
“Could lay down the seats in the van. Use the back.” He suggested. “Plenty’a room an’ if we need to move fast—”
“I don’t think that’s unreasonable.” Carol agreed, rubbing your back in a few soft strokes before beginning to move away. “I’ll go talk to Hershel. You two keep walking.”
You watched her go, turning your gaze up to Daryl when he shifted back to your side to urge you along. “Gotta keep movin’.” You groaned, dragging your feet with your head falling back in frustration. 
You were in the middle of a contraction, when you heard it. A snarl, a raspy growl much too close. You were already clinging to Daryl and breathing through the pain that was readying your body for Thumper’s arrival, but you’d have to let him go. He had to protect the baby. And to do that, he had to protect you. 
But he didn’t move. He was nearly vibrating, rigid beneath your hands on his shoulders. He was just as scared as you were, even more so. He knew he could take the walker but that would mean letting you go. He needed to protect you but he wanted to support you. He had told you he'd never let you fall and you knew he had meant it.
“Go.” Your hands slid from his shoulders, down his chest before they released him completely to clutch your belly.
His boots disappeared from your view of the ground but you couldn’t focus after that. The pain was growing in intensity, immobilizing you with your lips tightly pressed to withhold the cries that vibrated behind your teeth for release. You couldn’t, you just couldn’t make a sound. You’d attract more, endanger everyone. You’d endanger Thumper. Daryl. 
There were scuffles. More snarls. Tears were threatening your waterline. Pain was coursing through you like a serpent, slithering around each muscle and tendon and pulling them tight. You felt disappointment and guilt over all the agony when your mouth fell open with a guttural moan, your will to cut off the scream that begged to follow barely holding true. 
“D—Daryl.” You cried out. And he was there, hands on your face, your biceps, your belly. 
“M’here. M’here. Gotta move, though.” He swept you up with the slightest strained noise. “Gonna getcha to the van. Gonna find somewhere safe for ya.” The pain was fading. You could focus on the dark blood on his face, the dirt and grime. 
“Herd?” You whispered. 
“Ain’t your fault.” His expression emanated fear and stress. “The hatch.” Someone was with him. The small hands that opened the back of the van and spread out the blankets, those were Carol’s. She sat a pile of smaller blankets and squares of fabric toward the indents on the floor where the seats had been stowed. 
“Get as many in the truck as you can! In the cab and the bed!” Rick was calling out at the same time that Hershel climbed into the van. Daryl was careful when he placed you inside, climbing over you before pulling you further in to make room for Hershel and Carol. 
Through your haze of exhaustion, you saw Rick climb in the driver's seat and Maggie beside him. That meant that five others had to somehow fit into the truck. 
“Is everyone okay?” You asked, eyes pleading with Daryl for an honest answer. 
“Yeah, they’re all good.” He nodded, smoothing a hand over your hair. 
The van was moving, though you didn’t realize when it had started. Hershel was between your knees when another contraction came. It felt like only moments had passed since the last one. In the safety of the van, though you couldn’t be bothered to consider that, you bowed forward with a scream. Daryl gingerly worked your fingers loose from the blanket to take your hand. 
“She’s at 9cm. This baby is coming soon.” Hershel didn’t move this time, he and Carol began sorting things that you couldn’t see. Panting, you leaned to the side, knowing Daryl would be there. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and squeezed. 
“What—” He swallowed audibly. “Tell me what I need to do.” 
“Just be with her.” Carol poured some water from a bottle onto a piece of fabric and passed it across you for Daryl to take. “Wipe her face, put it behind her neck.”
The archer’s hand was trembling fiercely when you felt the blessed cool cloth touch your forehead. The moan that left you was not one of pain but utter relief. “Oh, that’s nice.” You breathed. Your skin was on fire, every cell of your being felt twisted and wrong. But that trembling cloth wiping at your face grounded you, centered you around what your body was preparing to do. 
You were so close to being a mother. 
But that didn’t stop the scream that ripped from your throat when the next contraction tore through you. You sat up, propped on your elbows with your eyes screwed shut. Tears leaked from the corners, the wailing cutting off into wretched sobs when you felt Daryl’s forehead fall against the crown of your head, his mantra of m’sorry m’sorry m’sorry shattering you into a million shards. 
You couldn’t tell him it was okay. You couldn’t remind him why you hurt. You couldn’t reassure him that he was the one you wanted and you were more than happy to do this with him. For him. You didn’t have the breath. 
“Don’t push, Y/N. Not yet.” Hershel’s tone was even but not cruel, his gloved hands on your knees. 
“It fucking burns!” You shrieked, squeezing Daryl’s hand until you were certain you felt the bones shift. The contraction let up, the fiery sensation dulling but ever present. 
“What’s happenin’?” Daryl sounded breathless. Terrified. You were still catching your breath when you looked up at him. His tan skin was white as a sheet, no color in his lips. His blue eyes were brighter than you’d ever seen them. From tears or fear, you couldn’t be sure. 
“The baby’s in the right position. Y/N, it’ll be time to push soon. It’ll be very important for you to listen to everything I say. Can you do that?” Hershel wasn’t looking at you, between moving around things Carol was handing to him and keeping a constant eye on your progress. Distantly, you wondered why it was Carol at his side and not Maggie. Maybe because you were close with Carol? For your comfort? 
“Yeah. Yeah, I can.” You turned your attention back to Daryl when his grip on your hand loosened slightly. He swayed, the pallor of his skin growing more concerning. “Daryl?”
The archer shook his head almost violently. “M’good.”
“Okay, I just—oh, fuck, already!?” You grit your teeth as your stomach tightened, a visible shift beneath the fabric of your dress. 
“Maggie, can you climb back here?” Hershel requested calmly. His eldest said nothing but maneuvered her way into the back and on your opposite side. “I fear we may lose Daryl at any moment and Y/N will need support.”
“Ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Daryl snapped but it was a weak effort. He inhaled deeply and began squeezing your hand to keep you from dislocating his fingers. 
“Here.” Carol passed him an opened bottle of water. “Drink a few sips. You’re white as a ghost.”
You were barely aware of everything happening around you, shaking almost violently to refrain from bearing down until Hershel told you to do so. It was bordering on excruciating. 
“Jesus Christ, it feels like you’re holding a flamethrower to my fucking pussy!” 
Hershel sighed while Maggie and Carol chuckled and Daryl snorted out a quiet nice, Y/N. 
“It’s just the birth canal stretching to make room for the baby.” The veterinarian explained coolly. 
“Just?” You mocked. “Just, he says while it’s my—oh Jesus fuck!” With all the presence of mind you could summon, you managed not to start screaming at Daryl for putting you in that position. You knew that beyond the pain and fear, you wanted Thumper in your arms more than anything in that fucked up world. 
“Okay, Y/N,” Hershel patted your bare knees just at the tail end of the contraction to ensure he had your attention. You had fallen back against Maggie while Daryl held the cool cloth against the back of your neck. His hand was vibrating your skull to the point that you nearly asked him to move away. “You’re ready. On the next contraction, you need to push.”
“God, your calm voice makes me want to kick you in the teeth.” You didn’t mean it—mostly. Hershel must have known that because he chuckled. You could feel the next contraction already building when the van lurched to a stop, throwing everyone in it. 
“We got a herd in front of us!” Rick called from the front. 
“Go ‘round it! Turn ‘round! Just keep ‘em off us!” Daryl yelled as the pain peaked. “Fuck!” He bellowed when your hand began to shake with how hard you squeezed his own. 
“Push!” Hershel shouted over the bumps and jerks of the van doing whatever Rick had deemed best. “Good, good!” He began to countdown from ten while you screamed.
You were being torn open. Thumper was going to rip you in half on their way out. Your throat was raw, surely bleeding from your wails. When the old man reached one, you fell back against Maggie but Daryl’s hand was there too. 
“Maggie, Daryl, hold behind her knees. Help support her legs. It’ll keep her hips open.” Both moved forward, taking you with them to sit you up a little straighter. Daryl had to release your hand to hold you and your leg. The archer hissed with the pressure against his abused palm. “Perfect. Alright, Y/N. A nice, strong push this time.”
You almost snarled. “Last one wasn’t good enough?”
“Easy, Sunshine.” You felt Daryl's lips against your temple and yearned to keep them there. 
“I’m sorry, Hershel.” Once again, the man simply smiled. Lori had told you that childbirth in the movies was often dramatized but so far, you weren’t seeing the truth in that statement. When the contraction reached a crescendo, you leaned forward while Maggie and Daryl held your legs steady. The pain was extraordinary. You almost wished you could see what was happening, but any train of thought was derailed with Hershel’s next words.
“The baby is crowning!” 
Gasping, you swallowed hard, glancing at Daryl—who had a front row seat to what was happening—and then back to Hershel. “Crowning?”
“The head will be out soon.” 
“All this and we don’t even have the head out?!” You screeched, just as your stomach rippled into a rigid mound and you were pushing again. This pain was different. Thumper was definitely ripping you apart. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! It burns!”
“S’that—” Daryl cleared his throat and swallowed, swaying on the spot. “S’that normal?”
“Perfectly normal.” Hershel glanced up at the archer, back down, and then up again. “Carol.” He needn’t say anything else. The other woman was moving to grab the back of your leg and let Daryl fall against her so he didn’t smack his head on the side of the van.
You were completely unaware, your entire focus centered on the inferno between your legs. There was no way any woman would willingly do this unmedicated. Never in your life had you wanted drugs more than you did in that moment. Thumper. Thumper, Thumper. You chanted internally, even as your vocal chords vibrated harshly with your screams. And just as you thought you would lose consciousness from the pain, it lessened. It hadn’t disappeared but comparatively, you would take that over the prior. 
“The head is out!” 
Panting, you smiled but then fell into confusion when you saw Carol beside your leg and Daryl slumped against her. “Daryl? Daryl?!” You shifted but Maggie held you still. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine.” Hershel chuckled. 
“Who knew a man that could gut a walker without batting an eye couldn’t watch his baby’s head come out?” Carol smiled but began to act, jerking her shoulder to jar the archer. “Daryl. Daryl, wake up. You don’t want to miss this.” He stirred and started to lean back. “Think you can take a look without losing it again?”
“Shuddup.” He shook his head hard, grunting. His hand was the first thing to move, sliding beneath Carol’s to take hold of your leg. Then he was looking at you. “M’sorry. That was—fuck, m’a pussy.” Maggie was moving your hand and pulling you forward as you watched your partner. 
Then your fingers were touching a soft, albeit slimy, head. 
You gasped. “Daryl.”
The man gulped, but then sat up on his knees a little. You watched the fear and apprehension melt away into awe, his jaw loosening, eyebrows rising, and eyes beginning to shine. “S’that—”
“That’s Thumper.” You were able to say before Hershel announced your miniscule break was over. He didn’t need to say a word, your body was already letting you know. Daryl’s hold felt stronger now and he was watching with an awestruck intensity that just made your heart want to explode even as you rode out the waves of agony. You were going to be a little family.
Then, out of the blue, you could feel something was different, wrong.
“Her—Hershel—Ow, fuck—” You fingers clawed at Daryl’s chest, his wet eyes going wide with concern. The contraction ended and you were gasping and swallowing convulsively, feeling nauseous regardless of your lack of food. Daryl’s eyes were darting back and forth between you and the old man. “Daryl, something—something’s wrong.” You could tell the baby had not moved an inch during the pushing, but not only that, it felt like they had actually pulled back toward your opening. 
“I know.” Hershel’s voice had lost the calm and was taking on an emergent edge. “The baby is stuck.”
Panic flashed over Daryl’s face in the form of anger. “The fuck ya mean stuck?!”
Still trying to catch your breath, sweat dripping into your eyes, you thought for certain Daryl was going to jump across your leg and attack the old man. Thankfully, he remained at your side. Trembling and breath stuttering, but he wasn’t moving. 
“Shoulder dystocia. The baby is turned in such a way that the shoulders can’t fit through the pelvis. Carol, I will need your help, please.” You were already on the edge of the next contraction when Hershel nearly barked “Y/N, don’t push.”
“What the fuck’re ya doin’?” Daryl snapped, leaning over your leg to investigate. So many emotions were battling for dominance in his expression that you couldn’t even begin to imagine how he was feeling.
“Daryl, please.” You pleaded, trying your hardest not to sob. For once, you cared nothing about being self-reliant or what the group thought of you and how much you needed Daryl. As you fought through the pain and against your body’s natural insistence to push, you just cried. Daryl kept a hand below your knee, too afraid to move unless Hershel gave the okay, but he leaned as far as he could to hold you without influencing your position.
“S’okay, Sunshine. S’gonna be okay.”
“Y/N, listen to me. I can feel the shoulder.” Now, the veterinarian’s tone was just downright frightening. “Maggie and Daryl are going to pull your legs back on the next contraction. I’m going to apply some pressure above your pubic bone. It’s not going to be pleasant, but if I’m correct, the head should come and then the baby. I need you to push with all you have, do you understand?”
You pressed your cheek further into Daryl’s chest and nodded, hiccuping through ragged, exhausted breaths. When the contraction began to tear through you, Maggie and Daryl reacted immediately, pulling your legs toward your belly while you curled inward with a guttural scream. Hershel pressed into the area just above your pubic bone, the pressure only compounding the whirlwind of pain you were already caught in. And then it was over and you let the two supporters take your weight.
The van rocked again, but was ignored. Hershel looked at Carol gravely and shook his head. 
“S’that ‘bout?” Daryl hissed, trying hard for your sake not to lose his cool.
“It didn’t work.” Before Daryl could speak, the old man continued. “We’re going to try one more time. If it doesn’t work, there are a couple of other things we can try but time is of the essence. The baby isn’t getting the oxygen they need like this.”
“Whatever ya gotta do. Just take care’a both’a ‘em.” 
Hershel nodded. “Alright, same thing, Y/N. A big, big push for me.”
You shook your head, exhausted. “I can’t.” You whispered, your eyelids heavy as hope attempted to flee and you accepted that once again, the world would take from you. It would take from Daryl. “I’m so tired.” You felt movement beneath your left leg and then Daryl’s hand was grasping your chin, firm but gentle. 
“Hey. Cut that shit out.” He wasn’t angry. He was using the same tone you’d heard him use when he had told Thumper to cut you some slack. When he had started communicating with the baby. “Ya’ve gone through hell an’ back for this an’ I ain’t lettin’ ya quit at the goddamn finish line, ya hear me?”
“I’m tired, Daryl.” Your face screwed up in pain as the next contraction began to build.
“Nu uh. Ya ain’t gonna bust into my life an’ fuck up my world six ways from Sunday, make me love ya an’ this kid, an’ then just give up. S’you an’ me an’ Thumper. S’what ya said!”
You blinked at him, slowly starting to sit up.
“I’ve seen ya be a badass before, Sunshine.” Your breaths were coming faster, the contraction nearly on top of you, but you only had eyes for Daryl. “Be a fuckin’ badass now.” His hand left your face and went back to your leg, pulling it toward you at the same time Maggie moved the right one. 
You screamed so loud that you were certain the rocks and bumps of the van were due to your wails alone. Something shifted, you felt it and it hurt. You were on fire and aching at the same time. When the contraction ended, you still felt painfully stretched and bruised and uncomfortable. “Did—did it work?” You panted, grasping desperately for Daryl’s shirt.
“The head is out, the shoulders are turned. One more big push, Y/N. Just one more.”
You breathed harshly through your nose, trying to amp yourself up. Maggie and Carol were throwing encouragement your way, but you didn’t hear them. You only felt Dary’s breath against your ear, his stubbled cheek rubbing against your skin.
He whispered, only for you to hear. “I love ya.” Kissing your temple, he moved back to his spot and when you looked at him, exhausted and crying, the corner of his mouth twitched and he nodded.
You could do this.
When the next contraction ripped through you, the world went silent. It was only you and the pain, white hot and all consuming. You were indeed being torn in half but if it meant Thumper would take that first breath, would open those little eyes to see the world—fucked up or not—then you would gladly be wrenched into pieces. 
The moment the baby slipped free of you, you felt the emptiness. You still hurt, but the worst of the pain was suddenly absent. Sound and sight came back to you in an onslaught that had you sucking in a breath like your lungs had been starved. 
“Is—Hershel, the baby?” You asked, trying to move as Daryl and Maggie lowered your legs. The archer was leaning across your knee. You couldn’t even tell if he was breathing, but his eyes were wide and darting. 
“Doc—”
The ferocious first cries of the distraught newborn echoed throughout the van. Maggie had moved behind you to keep you sitting up while Daryl had staggered backward and fallen on his ass against the interior wall, eyes on the little thing that Hershel was looking over intently. Maggie reached over your shoulder and began unbuttoning your dress, whispering in your ear as she moved.
“The baby needs to nurse, bond with you on your skin and it’ll help when you have to push out the placenta, okay?” You blinked at her, concerned. “It’s okay. It’s nothing like what you just went through. One or two small pushes and it’s out.”’ You nodded robotically, watching Hershel maneuver some sort of tape around a slimy cord.
Thumper was not happy. They were probably cold and that thought made your heart ache. Your baby should never be uncomfortable. Daryl was slowly, clumsily making his way toward you, but wasn’t taking his eyes off the baby. When he was sitting beside you, Hershel finally leaned over you and placed the squirming, slippery baby on your chest.
“Congratulations. You have a daughter.”
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aseaofyoongi · 1 year
Text
behind pixels: sequel | jjk
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jeon jungkook x reader (f)
genre: sex worker au (jk)
rating: mature audiences only (strictly 18+)
summary: after visiting a certain little app where a guy assisted you during a very stressful night, you realize the man is closer to you than you think.
warnings: not another continuation to a college au. . yes, yes it is; a bit of fluff, a but of smut; wetdreams-ish; masturbation; clitorial stimulation; fingering; in a public location… if you know what i mean; penetrative sex; unprotected sex; oc is a bit insecure; crush culture; i think that’s it honestly
word count: 12.7 thousand words
posted: may 13, 2023
notable songs: self control - frank ocean | love is only a feeling - joey bad$$ | day dream - destin conrad | fire in the sky - anderson paak
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It’s been two weeks.
An entire fourteen days since you were blessed with JK’s instructions as assistance to a night of relief from a collection of frustrating days.
The night when his thunderous voice soothingly lead you towards the most delicious orgasm you’ve experienced. Days after that very event you found yourself dwelling in the fanasities he had communicated from the other side of the screen — dusting off the records stored deep in your brain. All you wanted, all you craved was his voice, his attention, and the one thing you had not been able to experience yet, his touch.
After locking your dorm room door, you removed you shirt and shorts before plopping down on your cotton bed sheets. Your eyes were shut tightly blocking out the brightness from the lamp on the nightstand, with the constant linger of JK in your head your hand began traveling lower until it finally pushed past the hem of your panties. The feeling of your fingertips against your clit sent bolts of electricity en route down your back. You began, working towards that same finish line you’d once crossed when talking to JK on Eargasm. But it wasn’t the same, it’s like you were on that same road you once were but your destination moved farther and farther into the horizon.
Still, with beads of sweat streaming down your temples and with your right hand going numb you continued to rub circles against the sensitive bud in-between your folds.
“Come on, come on,” you huffed as your already muggy dorm became hotter and hotter.
But it wasn’t working — It was useless. Your fingers were useless.
“Doll,” you heard his voice from across the room.
“JK?” your eyes flew open envisioning the man you’ve only spoken to from behind your computer screen. You weren’t sure why but it was so hard to draw the connection between the two of them. There was JK, the man who helped you just a few nights ago with his alluring utters. Then, there was him, still JK only he was the boy who sat behind the front desk in the student center with his nose constantly stuck behind a book. They were the same person but they couldn’t be any more different.
Standing at completely different ends of the road. One became the personification of all of your carnal desires, while the other hid behind a clear shell unbeknownst to the effects his beauty had on you, on all of those around him.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, dazed by the fact that he was here. . in your dorm and you were semi naked in his presence yet again, “how did you find out where I live? How did you get in?”
“Don’t worry doll,” he still wore the black mask he wore when he was on camera with you but you could tell by the way his eyes crinkled up that he was smiling behind the dark cloth, “I’m here to help. And by the looks of it seems like you just might need my assistance once again.”
He nodded in the direction of your hand buried under the fabric of your panties.
“I don’t have a masturbation addiction, OK?” you sat up on the bed resting your back on the headboard.
“I never said that,” he chuckled, “if you haven’t noticed I’m a sex worker and if anything, I’m addicted to making people cum.”
“Right.” You cleared your throat, his bluntless shooting straight down to your core.
“By my records I made you cum very. . very quickly,” yes, you were still succumbing to the endorphins of your thoughts circling around him — too focused on the way the bed dipped right beside you, “do you remember that?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, doll,” his hand landed right beside your thigh and he began gently stroking the fabric of your sheets, “don’t tell me you forgot already.”
“I didn’t,” there was a tingle slithering on the surface of your skin, “I was just thinking—“
“You’re thinking of him again aren’t you?” he shook his head, “just remember I’m just a couple messages away and he isn’t even around.”
“Him?” if only he knew. He was him.
“Him. That boy you told me about,” the pads of his fingers brushed against your thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, “the one you said you were thinking about when you were touching yourself.”
“I wasn’t thinking of him.”
“Don’t spare my feelings doll. Tell me the truth. I can take it,” in a way he was right you were thinking of him, the boy from the student center but that also meant you were thinking of JK — how would you even go about explaining this situation to the very man who was clueless to the fact that he was the only person occupying your thoughts?
“When you wanna forget about him for a bit you know where I’ll be doll,” he leaned in and whispered in your ear softly, “I’ll show you a good time.”
His cool breath met the shell of your ear almost in a slowed motion, it left you a shuddering mess. Overcome by the feeling of the electrical currents coursing through your veins. You were addicted to that very feeling but specially because you knew he was the only person who could make you feel what you felt.
“JK, I promise, I’m not—“ you opened your eyes only to be met by a vacant space beside you on the bed.
Fuck. Not again, not again, not again. Everytime you found yourself aiming lower in an attempt for self release he visited you. Storming your thoughts like a tropical storm and wreaking havoc in his path. Reminding you that your fingers no longer had a sense of direction in mapping out your fantasies.
Your fingers now entirely futile. All while your sexual frustrations rose and your cunt continued its rhythmic drumming mimicking a quickening heartbeat. It was increasingly painful and it reminded you of the ease you’d once experienced under JK’s ministrations.
“I’m going crazy. .” you whispered out into the void, “I’m going fucking crazy.”
Temptation drew you closer and closer to the laptop laid out on top of your desk. Although you tried to restrain yourself against it, leaning back on the feeling was much easier. And before you knew it you were sitting on the computer chair with the browser opened up staring right back at you.
In your mind, you typed out Eargasm over and over again — yet there was a hint of hesitation restraining your hands to the arm’s rest.
“He’s just a couple words and clicks away,” you typed out the letters but your hand remained hovering over the keys incapable of actually conducting the search. Surrounded by silence and the anxious streaks of hesitancy — there were an abundant number of questions clouding your mind. But the main one remained whether he would even want you there.
“Just do it, you little bitch,” realistically speaking the chance of JK being online was high, but wasn’t exactly the issue. You knew he extended an invitation for you to visit him at your leisure but in the back of your head you couldn’t help but wonder if you were pushing it demanding his attention this quickly?
The clacking of the keys echoed among the walls of your room. Immediately, your eyes were exposed to the bright turquoise full screen with the seven letters highlighted in a bright pink tone. The more you ogled the welcome screen the more you were consumed . . fervid with the excitement cooking up in your stomach as you came to terms with the fact that JK was so close. In a haste you clicked on the message icon wanting to pull up the very familiar username but to your demise there was a ruby colored ring surrounding his icon. He was with someone else. . Someone who wasn’t you.
This is his job. You repeated.
He does this every night. You repeated.
There was an aching sting springing in the center of your chest and while prior to that night your heart remained at a sinus rhythm, in this moment that changed and you could feel as the organ slowed pumping almost coming to a full stop.
It really shouldn’t sting but you couldn’t help that it did.
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“Please tell me you’re planning to go back home at some point this summer,” your best friend approached the table you occupied on the second floor of the dinning hall.
“Not a chance,” you swayed your pointer finger left and right.
Though, campus was significantly bare during the following scorching months there was nothing to really go back home to. While, you didn’t necessarily have a bad relationship with your parents — they were just never there. The purpose for their living and breathing was reduced down to avoiding you so they became addicted to their jobs. A pair of workaholics looking to forget about their personal lives, which only resulted in becoming estranged to their only daughter in the process.
And at the end of the day you’d rather spend nearly all three-hundred and sixty five days of the year on school grounds as opposed to being cooped up in a ‘house’ with nothing but empty rooms and frigid hallways.
“I can’t believe you actually chose to stay here. If I were you I’d be springing right past those brick columns and archway,” she sighed resting her head on her palm.
“How about we actually get you to pass that pesky math elective so that we can get back to your family for the entirety of the summer.”
��What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“What will it take to finally get you to go back home at least once next summer?”
“I don’t think anything is compelling enough for me to go back there and ruin my summer,” you shrugged while taking another bite of your sandwich.
“Come on,” she whined, “Nothing?”
You shook your head — there was nothing back home for you but stark loneliness. That was crystal clear to you.
“There’s not a special somebody waiting for you?” Once again, you shook your head.
Nada.
“So you’re telling me there's not a mystery man who’s the root of all your pent up sexual frustration?” She raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not believing a single word out of your mouth. You hushed her immediately, scanning your surroundings to make sure the people in the surrounding tables weren’t hearing in on your conversation. They weren’t.
“Can you shut the fuck up?”
“You act as if it’s a crime,” she rolled her eyes, “everyone masterbates and it’s actually healthy you know.”
“I would really appreciate it if we could hold this conversation until we are behind closed doors,” you uttered through gritted teeth, feeling like you had the label ‘recent masturbater’ plastered on your forehead.
“Fine,” she took yet another bite of your apple, “will you at least tell me if Eargasm helped you illustrate all of your wildest fantasies.”
“You make it sound like it’s some sort of elaborate form of art,” you guffawed.
Her bulging eyes stared at you as if you’d insulted one of her family members or a pet, “It is an art form. It definitely is. Just think how hard it must be to help someone get off by quickly reading their body language through a screen.”
“When you put it like that the guy I saw must be a magician,” God, you tried stripping all hints of excitement from your voice at the casual acknowledgment of his presence.
If anything JK himself was an art piece himself, illustrated onto the canvas with pristine brush strokes detailing all the perfect curvatures of his face and physique. He draped himself in dark hues and even within the square frame just hung on the wall he was a light source. One that demanded your attention, holding eye contact at all times and refused to let you dedicate even a bit of your attention to anything or anything who wasn’t him.
“What do you mean by that?” she squinted while crossing her arms at her chest.
“Well, for starters,” you shrugged, “I kind of never turned on my camera. . Not for the beginning of the session at least.”
“Not for the entire session?”
“Exactly.”
“Bitch, that was a question not a statement.”
You sighed; blanketed with bashfulness, “so after I requested a video session and he finally called I physically couldn’t hit the camera button.”
“And what did he say?”
“Nothing condescending,” you took a sip of your water, “he was actually really nice about it. That was pretty much the session.”
“But you insinuated you turned it on at some point?”
You stared out the glass windows adoring the wall beside the table — Now, you began to weigh your options. You could either deflate, avoid or confess. And at this point you were one hundred percent sure she has seen far too much. Much more than you ever intended to show anyone on this entire campus.
“I said that?” Avoid? Ok.
“You did. .” She pushed her chair closer to yours, perhaps her attempt at creating a concealed atmosphere.
“I have nothing to tell.”
You kissed her teeth simulating hints of annoyance at your discretion, “Bitch. . stop acting clueless. You’re a shit liar.” She eyed the way you anxiously played around with your hooped earrings.
“I’m not hiding anything” you let go of the silver jewelry and sat up on your chair, “And I’m not a shit liar.”
“Fine. Spare the juicy secrets.” She shrugged, “but at least tell me who you saw.”
After giving the tables around you a thorough scan to make sure he wasn’t near you finally whispered the only name you knew him by into her ear, “I almost chose Tae but then remembered you see him so I saw JK instead.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t cause Tae is mine,” she grinned like a fool. A love struck fool.
“Yours, as in yours and probably a hundred other girls. You know that, right?”
“That’s the crude reality isn’t it?” she sat the half eaten apple on the table huffing continuously like a mopey child, “how was JK though?”
Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and while there were a million praises you wanted to express, all of the words sat idle in the back of your throat, “he was good.”
“Just. . good?”
“Well, better than good actually,” you began, urging your mind to unscramble the words needed to amplify his saccharine aid, “He was gentle and patient. But even more than that he was also sweet and caring.”
“I’ve read this man’s description before so he has tattoos and an eyebrow piercing right?” you nodded in confirmation, “plus he’s a literal angel?”
“Pretty much.”
“Dear God, how are you even breathing right now?” she placed her arms at your shoulders and rocked you back and forth emphasizing your existence here on planet earth as you finally comprehended that you weren’t just living some sort of venereal dream.
“I-I honestly don’t even know,” the flashed lingers of that night resided in your mind in small clips — the more you tried to recall the amatory details the more your mind became cloudy, dazed in its own lustful elixir. A potion so potent you were still high days after just off that hour doze, “it was definitely a night.”
“You should visit him again,” she began poking your side, “I know you wanna see him again.”
“I don’t know,” you giggled, pushing yourself away from her finger, “I honestly think it was a one time thing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
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General Ed classes were frankly the worst part of university. You couldn’t quite understand the need to take all of the same classes you took and passed in highschool just so that they could reaffirm that you could in fact do math or knew your basic knowledge of biology or chemistry.
It was bullshit — An evident cash grab scheme. All at the expense of dedicating one’s freshmen year attending classes we truly didn’t even really need applied to our major.
You could sincerely rant about this all day long but it was currently nine in the morning, you were running low, (very low actually), on coffee and you were already ten minutes late to your intro to biology class. Your pace was matched with long strides as you were practically running through the courtyard.
Finally pushing through the glass door you felt the way the blanket of sweat covered your forehead. Leaving your skin as bright as polished glass and your breath shortening as a result of the rapid trip between your dorm and the library.
“Fuck,” you were out of breath choosing to take a seat on the bench near the entrance for a seconds before reluctantly hoping back on your feet and trotting up the stairs to the computer room.
Looking through the door’s window you saw the professor lecturing away. You practiced about a dozen ways to go in before you finally convinced yourself to just barge in — which eventually you did but a wave of regret washed over you when the door behind you closed with a loud bang and suddenly all glares were on you.
“Sorry,” you muttered.
“No worries, it happened to almost everyone here. Seems like the door is louder than we perceived,” the professor replied.
Scanning around the mid-size room you saw foreign faces staring back at you until your bestfriends smiled beamed brightly from the table at the end of the room. She was sitting alone with two vacant chairs on either side “Yeah, seems like it.”
“Well, welcome to Intro to Conducting Research. I’m Mr. Kim.” he introduced himself with a tender smile, “I hope you found your way ok. I know this one’s kind of a hidden gem unlike the rest of the lecture halls.”
“It did take me just a bit of time,” you chuckled, suppressing your nerves as they quickly urged you to scramble away from the front of the class and just sink into a chair to prevent yourself from verbalizing anymore idiotic babbles and incoherencies, “is the seating assigned?”
“No, no go ahead and find a seat wherever you’d like. We were just getting started.”
Quickly, you found yourself plopping on the chair beside your bestfriend, puffing out the constrained breath that had taken your chest cavity hostage as a result of your embarrassing entrance. Mr. Kim continued his first day lecture which mainly consisted of a syllabus reading, his life’s story and the scrambled rules to an icebreaker on the white board.
“What do the icebreaker questions say?” your friend asked, squinting to get a better look at the board, “I left my glasses at my dorm.”
“Does it matter?” you slouched down aiming for complete comfort slinging your feet on the metal bar, “we literally know everything about each other already.”
“Bullshit, I have no idea what your name is. .” Her delivery was accompanied with low and raspy vibratos. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought she was mimicking Mr. Kim’s voice. She pulled her phone from one of the pockets of her book bags and began scrolling aimlessly.
Your chuckle was airy and quickly vanished when you heard the rusty hinges of the door wailing out. The loud noise from the door meeting the threshold startled you although your eyes were already glued to the front of the room.
“That door is going to drive me fucking crazy,” the exasperation in her words was evident and you were about to agree but suddenly, you had moved from your place right beside her — feeling like she was now miles away. While you were now in this narrow space similar to an alley or tunnel. In the distance you saw her still glued to her phone screen while sitting on the opposite end; succumbed to pitch blackness. Even as you stood and attempted to sprint in her direction you were condemned to the enclosed walls.
You couldn’t tell whether you were trapped within a dream or a nightmare but he was here.
JK was here.
That was the torment drumming itself amongst the walls of your skull as the beat etched the stills of that night deep into your brain. The night you swore you would forget yet here he was to remind you of every second of it. Yet, your gaze was focused on him and you just couldn’t peel your eyes away.
You’d concluded it was entirely his fault. He possessed the kind of beauty you’d only ever heard derived from the ancient Gods of Greece — and as if he was a descendant of Aphrodite he held distinct associations to his name. You would argue JK was synonymous to beauty (obviously), love, passion and most certainly lust.
You must have been deep in orbit because you couldn’t recall the first or the second or the hundredth time your friend called out for you, so much so that she began shaking you to get you to snap out of it.
“Cute boy is coming this way,” she nodded in his direction, and you quickly realized he was closer than you had perceived, “Look alive bitch. He definitely looks like your type.”
“I don’t have a type,” you whispered through gritted teeth — he was close now. Just a few feet away.
“Yes, you do,” she mumbled back, “he’s practically a carbon copy of your Eargasm boyfriend.”
“He’s not,“ you argued quietly.
With her giggles circling through the air and your bulging eyes of horror JK finally made it to the proximity of your table and his soft utters sent an algid shiver to take route on your skin freezing you right into place.
His name was Jungkook, you’d learned.
He was JK but he was also Jungkook.
Between unremitting stutters you introduced yourself briefly and he took the liberty of occupying the only vacant chair left in the classroom which also happened to be right next to your best friend.
Small talk was your kryptonite and while your friend excelled in keeping conversations alive, you sat opposite the two of them lulled into space. Making your best attempt to seem as least interested as possible. But the truth was whenever you heard his voice you thought a command would follow right behind it — just like the ones he communicated that night.
Your thoughts were scrambled into a mess and there was a dull ache in between your legs further accentuating the frustration you’ve felt for far too long.
“What about you?” he asked, his eyes were duly set on you.
“Huh?” his brown eyes were so much more invasive in person and you felt like he devoured you with them.
“Is this your second year too?” he repeated.
“Uh, yeah,” you said, “it is.”
“Don’t mind her,” your friend said, “she’s a little out of it.”
“It’s ok,” he smiled; and quickly you noticed the silver hoop sparkling on the corner of his lip. Was that always there? You hadn’t noticed before. “Being here for the summer has us all going a little crazy.”
“Is this your first summer here?”
He nodded, “I usually head back home for summer but I figured I would get my gen ed’s out the way.”
“We all had the same idea I suppose,” you contributed.
“It’s better than being here for a whole extra semester,” she played mindlessly with the zippers on her backpack.
“What about you guys?” he asked, “is this your first summer here.”
Your friend quickly began recounting her endless summer adventures from years prior. . far far away from campus. Jungkook nodded and they both reflected on the forsaken summer ahead. Deflated at the exceeding number of voyages they’ll be missing while condemned to remain on campus.
You couldn’t help but wonder about the things you had kept from yourself. . A lot perhaps.
With the company of the scorching heat of the summer months daylight savings time lurked right behind it—providing the longevity of the sun, as the Earth seems to lean a bit closer to the star and decrease its speed in rotation.
And here you were melting away by the very sun. Unbeknownst to the so-called wonders of the summertime. Barred from any of the memories everyone seemed to be defined by: the best months of the year, the best moments of your life they’d say.
While enthralled in your own thoughts you heard your friend’s voice though it was a bit muffled, still you were able to make out what she said, “Ellie is over there. I’m gonna go say hi. You two talk okay?”
Jungkook chuckled softly. Why would she say that? Ugh, she made it weird. She definitely made it weird.
“Is she always like this?” he asked, leaning a bit closer in your direction and although he still remained in his chair at a considerable distance, you could feel the waves of his body heat crashing against you.
“Always,” there was a hint of nervousness stained on your tongue but you swallowed it down. Or at least tried to, “life’s never boring when she’s around.”
“You guys been friends long?” he asked, gis voice still vibrated in your inner ear, sounding like the beat of drums. It truly did frazzle your nerves.
“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a bit.”
He nodded. Simply soaking in what you’ve said—there was nothing else to say but you urged to hear the strumming of his sweet words just once more.
“What about you,” you clasped your balmy hands on top of the table, “you got any friends around here?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded, “I have a couple. We all live near each other back home too so I’m never allowed a moment of peace.”
“Seems like we’re kind of living under the same pretenses.”
“Seems like it. Maybe, we could escape away together one day.”
Together? Did he just say together? As in the both of you, on the same route. . Intentionally, while in each other’s company?
The silence between the two of you was deafening, you became nearly incompetent; unable to communicate anything corrigible. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your throat became dry. So fucking dry.
“Or-“ he began, seemingly taken back by your lack of verbal communication.
“Yes,” you finally said, “I’d like that very much.”
“You promise?”
“One day.”
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The first week of research class was slow. . repetitive and you couldn’t help the way your thoughts wandered off to your conversation with Jungkook the first day of class. How you promised each other one day—Just one day but that was as far as it has gone so far.
Even though, in that moment, you couldn’t feel farther away from him.
You’d barely uttered a word to each other but the patented ‘hello’ and ‘bye’ but that was the extent of it. There had been nothing else. Plus he no longer sat near, he was three tables away with his friend, Namjoon who had switched in on day two of class.
You couldn’t ignore the ping in your heart when you walked in that day and you saw him that far away—You could no longer spark up nuisance conversations, or sneak glances when you pretended to write your notes or have the sweetness of his vanilla scent inundating your nostrils.
It has all gone to shit. With fervent frustration you trotted up the stairs to your dorm on the second floor. Looking forward to laying in the comfort of your bed until you have to physically peel yourself away from your sheets.
The first strike was pitched the moment you pulled out your key card from the back pocket of your jeans and it immediately hit the floor. Conducting a string of breathing exercises to ease your rising vexation you picked up the card once more and took a deep breath before sliding it into the reader. The world was pitted against you that day though, because as soon as you retrieved the card and reached for the knob the electronic lock dinged and flashed its red light.
You tried again and again and again—all your attempts leading to the same result. Until finally your irritation ran rampant through your veins and you continuously banged on your door with your balled fists as if that would have made a difference. There was no one on the other side who could possibly rescue you, your only solution lived in the student center. . Visiting the very booth occupied by a certain boy who lived in your heart and mind.
“Oh c’mon, not today,” you mumbled leaning against the cold wooden door, “fucking Monday’s are always shit.”
The way to the student center was not long at all but your calves were torched with the amount of walking you’d already done for the day. Luckily, as you pulled the door open the hallways were vacant which meant there were no lines and most importantly no waiting.
“Finally, this damned day might just be turning around,” you mumbled to yourself.
You walked down the corridor, entered the second to last room and there he was sitting behind the rectangle frame carved into the wall. Jungkook’s chin rested on his palm. His long strands were left in a disarray but it made it work. He truly did. The rest of his body was hidden behind the tall desk but even from your position near the door you could see the collar of his black t-shirt. Even as the bell on top of the door chimed his attention was consumed by the brightly lit screen laid out in front of him.
“Hi,” he greeted, not looking up in the direction of the door once, “welcome to card and ID services. How may I help you?”
“Is this how you greet all the students who pop in here?” you teased with what you recalled to be your most idiotic smile plastered on your face.
He chortled finally realizing who it was, “if I would’ve known it was you I would have given you my undivided attention from the moment you walked in.”
Realizing you stood without your friend as a shield for conversations, you swallowed your nervousness. “You say a lot but I bet you don’t mean half of what comes out of your mouth.”
“I live by codes of honesty, doll.”
There was a stumble in your step as soon as you heard the pet name he uttered through your laptop screen all those nights ago. The same one that had you lured under his spell, in a disarray of emotions, whimpering babbles of nothing at all and everything all at once.
“Whatever you say, Jungkook,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m actually here for a reason, not just for your charms and to see a pretty face.”
“Charms and a pretty face huh?” he smirked.
“Anyway,” you diverted the conversation away from your inane choice of words, “I’m actually here because I can’t open my dorm door with this thing anymore.”
“Is it working though?”
“No,” you slid the card over to him on the surface of the desk. You were hoping to get a peak of his tattoos as he reached out for it but he wore a hoodie. “it isn’t working like. . at all.”
“Actually, I was talking about my charismatic personality and dashing good looks.” His annoying and compelling magnetism had you in conflict between wanting to smack him upside the head or suck his dick behind the counter. “According to you of course.”
“Let’s table the cockiness for now and focus on the actual problem taking root,” you tapped your fingers in the plastic rectangular key.
Jungkook smiled and took the plastic key before sitting back on his office chair and typing away purposely into his keyboard. Even under the shitty lighting of this holed up office space his attractiveness was evident.
“How did you even manage to fuck up your card this bad?” he asked, not really demanding an answer but you shrugged anyway, “the computer won’t even read it.”
“I really have no idea.”
“This is gonna cost you, you know” his eyes still remained on the screen.
“I thought this shit was free?” you argued, “don’t we pay enough tuition to cover a little damaged keycard. I should’ve just broken my way in.”
Jungkook simply shook his head whilst dragging his chair back towards the printer to fetch your card.
“Consider that we’re very well acquainted classmates. Can you please deduct fifty-percent from what you were going to charge?”
“Well acquainted classmates?” His expression was hard to read but if you had to guess he seemed a bit hurt. . perhaps offended. But you could also just be misreading the situation. “And here I thought we were really good friends.”
“Aren’t they synonymous?”
“Not to me,” he held the new card towards you only to pull it back when you reached for it.
“Fine,” you rolled your eyes at him. “We’re friends. Great friend actually.”
“Hm, I don’t know. Sounds a bit disingenuous,” he sat back on his chair still holding your key hostage.
You scoffed. “And how would you possibly know that?”
“I can read people.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
He smirked, “I can always just show you how well I can read people.”
The intent behind his words was blurred behind thick lines and while you genuinely thought he wanted to plead his case, you couldn’t help but feel like there were hints of temptation behind his promise.
It actually took you a bit off guard—though, not really. Jungkook, like JK, (his alter ego?) was a concoction of sensuality and comfort. He is the personification of sweetness and while that was a fact he also had a player persona and he was driven by flirtatious mannerism.
The perfect combination of two.
“Is this how you spend most of your day? Harassing all of the girls who come by to get their keycards fixed.”
“Harrasing is such an ugly word,” he smiled. That stupid that was so compelling it actually drew you closer and closer to him. “Besides you’re the only one I like to fuck around with.”
“Lucky me.”
“Lucky you,” he repeated in a hushed tone, placing your card on the wooden surface while his hand remained on top of it, swallowing it whole under his palm. “If you really wanna test your luck I want to offer a proposition.”
“What would that proposal entail?” You removed his palm and finally grabbed the card, shoving it in your back pocket. You tried to hide it but the feeling of your fingers meeting his ignited sparks to crackle in the pit of your stomach and instantly you were blinded by bright lights, perhaps fireworks.
“One day, remember?” Jungkook’s eyes are mesmeric, stroked with intricate detail, dabbed with a tone of cafè noir, glossed over as a final coat offering a shiny layer.
“One day, yes,” you confirmed taking yourself back to your conversation on day one, “you offered to take me around and show the beauty of summer. Everything I’ve been missing apparently.”
Jungkook shook his head light-heartedly. “Right. I was just wondering if we could upgrade the singular term to plural.”
“What do you mean?”
“One day,” he repeated. “Can we change that to a couple of days instead?”
Days. . This implies that you’ll be spending days with Jungkook? This felt like a cultivation of your own personal heaven. Initially, when he proposed the idea to you back in class a seed had been planted in your head, slowly blooming a flower which swayed briskly the more you thought about Jungkook and being able to ever spend time alone with him.
“You know I didn’t actually think you meant any of it,” you lied, you believed him or at least you wanted to.
“Did I not just say I’m a man of honesty?”
“Apparently that’s your morale code, right?” you raised your eyebrow at his claims of integrity.
“Of course, it is.” He confirmed, “don’t sound so surprised please.”
“Not surprised. Just absorbing all of this newfound information.”
“Absorbing sounds a lot like mocking.”
“Mocking is such an ugly word,” you teased.
“Ha—ha, very funny,” he uttered jokingly accompanied by a rumbling fake laugh, “you know what’s not funny?”
“What?” you tilted your head slightly with a smug smile painted on your lips.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“I do?” you hummed.
“You really strive to puncture my ego don’t you?” his gaze was set on you intently, his dark orbs read you slowly from head to toe. It made your palms balmy and you could feel a tremble taking route at your lower extremities.
Walking towards the door your shaky hand reached for the handle and opening it before turning back one last time. “The answer is yes.” You walked out although you heard a string of questions following right behind you, all of them left unanswered.
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Yesterday was Friday, which meant today was Saturday. You knew that. You were competent enough to map out the days of the week accordingly. . Still, you weren’t quite sure why you heard an alarm blare through the walls of your dorm at six in the morning, startling you right out of the comfort of your slumber. Now, just thirty minutes past seven after rushing your morning routine thinking you’d ‘late for class’ you sat in bed showered with no real plans for the day ahead.
Your bowl of instant oatmeal was now empty and sitting on the nightstand beside your bed.
Navigating through the multitude of apps on your laptop was not as entertaining as you once perceived and although it did ease your boredom for a bit. Now you sat with the base panel sticking to your thighs staring at the home screen with nothing else to probe into.
“Come on,” Jungkook’s voice was barely above a whisper, once again he seems to have invaded your thoughts, “I know you wanna visit me.”
“I’m not sure what you mean. I don’t need to visit the student center today.”
“You know what I’m talking about, doll,” the words bounced in your head, “I know you remember.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, your attempt at trying to vanish him from your mind entirely. But even if you hated to admit it you couldn’t help but crave that feeling of him being here even if it was through the building blocks of your own imagination—It just felt so real. The heat of his presence felt so real and truly you just wanted to be consumed by it.
“Last time, I visited you. . You were a little busy.”
“That was last time,” he laid back sinking into the softness of your mattress and pillows, “I promise I’m all yours today.”
His commands were like the songs of sirens inching you closer to the very spot where he wanted you to be. Very easily you typed in the name of the website you’d grown very familiar with on the browser and quickly clicked on the last messages between the two of you — he was online and without indication of being in another session. That’s a good sign.
Yeah.
You can call.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard without indication on how to approach a conversation because for one you wanted to speak to him but it was also eight in the morning and Eargasm was a simple gateway to an orgasm. Not to mention, you’d be talking to JK not Jungkook and while the two were the same person they were also different.
BunnyBoy98 is typing…
Fancy seeing you
back here ;)
You quite literally could not move.
Have you missed
me?
Please. Don’t flatter
yourself.
It’s not flattery.
Last I recall, I
did make you cum.
My fingers did that.
Not you.
Who was the guiding
voice though?
Right.
Right.
Don’t you ever
forget it, doll.
Is there a reason
you messaged me?
I like that about
you, you know.
What?
Your bluntness.
It reminds me of
someone I know.
It’s hot.
There’s someone else? Someone who occupies his thoughts regularly it seems. Your heart felt heavier as the sharp blade pierced right through it leaving behind a vast hole and an incurable wound. You weren’t really sure why but it hurt so bad.
But you knew it should not. His job required sparking up conversations with dozens of girls on a daily basis and helping at least a dozen more find their culmination.
You cannot feel anything.
Thinking of other girls
in my presence? Shame
on you BunnyBoy.
Sorry, doll.
I promise right
now is all about you.
But we seem to have
started on the wrong
foot. How can we fix
that, BunnyBoy?
Use me as you
please.
As you read his request there was a shift in the atmosphere. Sort of like what you felt back in back that first day, where you were briefly dreaming inside of a dream or like what you imagined it would feel like if the Earth ever slammed down on its brakes coming to an abrupt halt. Actually, you were sitting in a massive slingshot just waiting to be catapulted into space — it was all too grand to minimize into coherent thoughts, too great to be reality.
But it was and you were pulled right out of your own illusion when the phone call icon began vibrating repeatedly signaling there was an incoming call.
While your head was still swimming among the cottony clouds your fingers somehow managed to hit the green button on the call from JK popping up on your screen.
“I was beginning to become hopeless,” his voice was so distinctive the minute he began talking your skin became covered in goosebumps.
“Why were you becoming hopeless?” To this day, you wondered how you were able to point him out even in a crowd just by his voice and he’s yet to identify yours. Perhaps, that is exactly the reason why you were so comfortable speaking to him here — and adopting the confident persona you lack in real life.
“When I call there’s usually an answer just by the first ring.”
“Things are different today, BunnyBoy,” you laid down and placed the laptop on the pillow right beside your head. “I make the requests today, remember?”
You were nervous and you weren’t quite sure just how much of this you could actually pull off but you were willing to try just to show him a good time.
“It’s your turn to tell me what you desire most,” you tried to maintain a whisper to your tone. Not only was that your go-to interpretation of seductiveness but it was also really fucking early in the morning and the last thing you needed was to be the dirty talk alarm for your dorm neighbors.
“I like to be the gateway to heaven.”
“Elaborate.”
“You know exactly what I mean,” he snickered. Of course, he was referring to the art of making someone orgasm and he was right you were all too familiar with it. . Especially coming from him.
“What is it that you like so much about it?”
“It’s just an addicting feeling. I don’t really know how to put it into words,” you could tell he was talking through a wide grin, “it’s such a vulnerable moment for most people but I can’t help but drink the other person in entirely until I’m drunk off the antics and mannerism of their orgasm.”
“You get off by getting other people off?”
“I guess that’s an easier way to explain it.”
“So do I need to get off to help you get off right now?”
He huffed out a small breath, “Is that what you want, doll. To help me?”
You hummed, crumbling and failing to come up with any words at the mention of the nickname he’d attached to you.
“I can dig into my memories, you know. There’s so much about you I remember,” Again, you couldn’t see him but you could sense the smirk right through the microphone, “I know you kept your screen off but the sounds you made were enough to have me touching myself every second of everyday for days on end.”
The sensation of your walls clenching around nothing was taunting and the stream flowing right through the fabric of your panties just piled up on the mountain of frustration. You were miles away from the peak as you trotted up slowly but your thoughts remained on him.
“It’s like an audio file on loop. Your whimpers, and moans and the soft utters of my name. Fuck. The mixture became an ideal composition to the perfect ballad,” he confessed through a string of soft pants, “and then the way you pushed your fingers past your lips just to savor the taste of yourself. You really drove me to insanity.”
Your body felt as light as a feather and you could’ve sworn you were levitating right above your mattress you just couldn’t open your eyes to prove it. Instead, your tanktop was pushed below your breasts and your finger began its trail on your clit rubbing slow circles.
“JK, ima need you to shut the fuck up right now,” you were breathless with a hint of desperation. Ready to lose yourself in his voice, but you couldn’t, “shut up—“ you repeated, “this is not how it’s supposed to go today.”
“You say that,” he cooed, “but how come I can tell you’ve already begun to touch yourself?”
You pulled your hand from yourself, repelling away from the gravitational pull forcing you to reach back down between the warmth of your thighs. “You don’t know that and I was not touching myself.”
“You were and I’m 100-percent sure of it.”
“You’re so annoying.”
“Don’t worry, doll. You’ve done more than enough to get me where I need to be,” he hissed.
Realistically speaking this was the goal—Your goal for the day. But the reality of Jungkook’s whine sounding near the shell of your ear made you imagine things that weren’t even there for the third time in the past few weeks.
And there he was, beside you once again, with his cock springing out from above the hem of his shorts. It was longer; bigger than you’d imagined but he made use of his veiny hands moving up and down his length with a hastened pace. Quickly working his way right into an orgasm.
“Tell me how it feels, JK,” you rubbed your legs together in search of some ease — perhaps to ignore the pain or the desirous sting threading dangerously near to overwhelmingness but it wasn’t helping. You reach out for one of the decorative cushions sitting on your bed and quickly rid yourself of your panties hiking your skirt up past your belly button. You weren’t quite sure what came over you but looking over at ‘JK’ laying beside you began swaying your hips against the cotton cushion to match his exact pace.
“Fuck—“ you squealed.
“Oh, doll,” he let out a rasp groan, “t-that’s exactly what I needed. Keep going please. I’m so close.”
Minutes went by since the two of you began exchanging the alluring songs escaping each of your lips. It was an orchestra of pleasure and you kept at it until your whines combined with his grunts signaled the peak of your actions.
“Oh fuck,” he breathed out, “I’ve never done that before.”
“What?”
“This has never happened during one of my sessions.”
You smiled, “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
“Visit me more often,” he said, “I mean it. Don’t wait another two weeks.”
“I’ll be back. Don’t worry Jung—JK,” you cleared your throat as an attempt to mask your almost massive fuck up. Hopefully he didn’t hear.
“I’ll be here.”
“Bye.”
The call was disconnected. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Not again.
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Hours passed since your very interesting morning with Jungkook or should you say JK. It was closer to late night and you sat on a bench just outside the library with the luminous ray of the moon singling you out like a spotlight. You were tired and just like the moon sat without any stars surrounding it to keep it company you chose to be here, alone; secluded just for a little while. You needed it.
The night hadn’t begun this way. Not at all.
Your friend had texted you hours prior letting you know that a couple of people from research class had noticed a mini research project due for that Monday. And like any other group of panicked college students you all grabbed your shit and ran to the library to get the work done. Back then, you didn’t know that by ‘a few people from research class’ she also meant Jungkook.
While you could feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies flapping their wings against the lining of your stomach, there were also those pressing nerves. You know, the ones that make your hands tremble, your tongue feel heavy inside of your mouth and your palms balmy all together.
It was a variation of your own personal heaven and hell.
“May I know why you’re out here sitting all by yourself,” there weren’t winds strong enough to make you shiver the way his voice had just now.
Would he recognize your voice from this morning? Maybe he would. You pressed your hands against the wooden bench and took a deep breath.
It’s gonna be okay. You chanted. It’s going to be okay.
“Oh, I’m done with the project and I just needed a bit of fresh air,” you waved your hands around in an attempt to point at the library but you ended up pointing in the opposite direction, “it was just too hot in there.”
“Yeah. .” He slouched down and placed his head on the back rest, “I needed out too.”
“Did you get to finish?”
“I did,” he laughed, “I chose the effects of tattoos in the workplace.”
“Ha—“ you guffawed, shaking your head, “I’m sure you meant to make a statement.”
“Of course, doll.” There it was again. The effects it had on you were so grand meanwhile he just brushed right past it like absolutely nothing.
“How many tattoos do you have anyway?”
He rolled his sleeve up revealing his arm all the way up to his bicep, “I lost count after filing in the gaps for my sleeve but I’ll confidently say I’m well over thirty.”
“You must have all of the secrets to pain tolerance,” you stared at the art pieces adoring his honey skin.
“I would say I have it more under control now than I ever did before,” his head turned towards you and his dark eyes pierced your soul, “I almost cried during my first one though. Hurt so fucking bad I had to keep taking breaks.”
“Which one was it?”
He brought his arm up and showed you the flower sitting right on his right elbow.
“Can I?” That was your way of asking if it was okay for you to touch it without having to actually say it.
“Yeah.”
Your fingertips traced the small orange flower along with its surroundings which sprawled out into a larger floral design. Sparks of electric currents traveled from your fingers as they remained in contact with his skin. You couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too but you were too afraid to ask.
“Did you get it shaded and colored in one go?”
“I couldn’t,” he shuddered, likely remembering that very day at the tattoo shop, “hurts just thinking about it.”
“But then you went and got a whole sleeve?”
“I guess I’m still fond of a bit of pain.”
“That’s psychotic.”
“Maybe,” he closed his eyes lightly, as a cheeky wide-toothed grin formed on his lips. That was the last of your interaction for a bit, the two of you just sat back in silence enjoying the serenity of the night. But of course, silence seemed to be a burden on Jungkook’s behalf because it didn’t really last too long. “Hey, you wanna go get ice cream? I hear the shop just off campus is open late.”
“Is this the kick start to your summer itinerary for me?”
“Could be. . if you want it to.”
“Sure. Let’s go.”
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With a stunned expression your friend watched as Jungkook followed behind you, into the library to collect your belongings only to see you exit with him once more. Even though the windows you saw as her mouth remained agape as you disappeared into the night with the man that occupied so much of your heart and mind.
Seconds after you felt your phone vibrate continuously in your back pocket. Knowing it was probably just her with an abundance of prying questions you ignored it for now instead choosing to focus on the paved road ahead you. There are so many beautiful things to admire at this time of night — the way the bright green leaves sway with the cool breeze on the branches they’d call home for the duration of the summer, there was also the way the brightness of the street light illuminated the way to your destination. There were no lone frigid gusts whispering their way through the city, instead there was the buzzing chatter of on-goers bringing the streets back to life.
Jungkook and you occupied the sidewalk taking in every scene, every conversation, every person, every detail in your way and just as you neared the little ice cream shop you saw the way his doe eyes lit up at the vibrant shade of pink on the concrete walls.
“What should I get you?” You sat on one of the small tables lined up on the sidewalks just a few feet away from the shop.
“Chocolate please,” you pulled out your wallet just as he placed his hand on top of yours and shook his head.
“I invited you, didn't I?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
Across from you at another small table you spotted a couple seemingly on their first day. You could tell because the girl as beautiful as she was, she wore the same gitters you did. The way her fingers trembled whenever the boy across from her inched his hand closer to hers.
She wore the exact same gitters you did but you were not here on a date. You were merely an acquaintance. Someone Jungkook knew in passing — likely to become someone he once knew once this charade of wanting to show you around for the summer was over.
“Are you always this deep in your own thoughts?” Jungkook sat across from you on the table and handed you the wafer cone with two chocolate scoops.
“Not always. .” you took a swift lick of your ice cream, “sometimes is probably a bit more accurate though.”
“May I ask why that is?”
“There are too many things dancing around in my head to figure out the steps to,” you began playing around with the edge of the napkins laid out on the table.
“Do any of those pressing thoughts have to do with your shit taste in ice cream flavors?” The dimples on his rosey cheeks were scaled to your meter of comfort and you couldn’t help but reciprocate his cheerful manner.
“Shit?” you sneered, “if we’re talking shit, strawberry is definitely first on the list.”
“Strawberry ice cream tastes like actual strawberries. Now please tell me what chocolate ice cream tastes ‘cause it is certainly not chocolate.”
“Bullshit. It does taste like chocolate.”
“Now, that's bullshit,” he continued, savoring his frozen dessert. “Will you ever tell me why you despise the summertime so much?”
“I do not despise it. I just—“ you sighed, “there are just experiences that simply do not wash away with the currents of the beach waves.”
“That’s awfully poetic.”
“I like to dramatize my life experiences.”
“I won’t make you elaborate. I will, however, smother you with my favorite activities until you have no choice but to fall in love with the season,” he strapped his backpack on and called over to you, “you ready?”
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Whoever said spinning around on the roundabout after devouring an entire cone of ice cream was a good idea — was wrong. Of course, Jungkook’s ideas of the perfect summer night were made up of late night escapees, sweets and indigestion.
Jungkook, the culprit in this entire scheme plopped down on the multi-colored metal surface, clearly out of breath after having spun you so fast the heavens were now where the ground once used to be.
“You are the worst,” you laid down on the roundabout, eyes closed, swallowing down the nausea creeping up the back of your throat, “if I puke. . It is entirely on you.”
“Last I recall, you’re the one who wanted to be spun around on this thing.”
“Yes.” You continued taking deep breaths, “keyword spin not attempt to blast me off into the Milky Way.”
“You are such a drama queen.”
“There is nothing dramatic about the way my head is spinning right now,” you felt his shower brush against yours — he was now laying beside you. You opened your eyes slightly, turning your head in his direction, “are there now three of you?”
“Here,” he raised a hand to your face, “how many fingers am I holding up?”
“Two?” you lied. He had all five fingers up.
“I know you see my whole hand is sitting right in front of your face right now,” he rolled his eyes.
“Actually, I don’t. That’s why I said two,” you stuck your tongue out at him before redirecting your attention back to the sky. “Do you think the moon ever gets lonely up there?”
Jungkook followed your line of vision to the sky above where the moon still sat all by itself, “I’ve never actually thought about it but I think everything and everyone can feel lonely once in a while.”
“I think I’m like the moon.”
His voice was soft, “in what way?”
“I guess—“ you battled with all the words crashing against each other in your brain, “in the sense that compared to Earth and most planets, the moon is so small right?”
“Yes.”
“I just feel like that. You know? Like a single grain of sand in a sandbox — feels like I’m an ant in a world of giants.”
“While it is true that the moon is fairly small in comparison to most of the planets in our solar system,” he began. “It is also a beacon of light. Without the moon our nights would be composed of utter darkness, the ocean tides would fall and the course of the life we know would be altered. Without the moon our lives would be shit.”
“Right.”
“Small yet consequential. You get that?”
“I do.”
You told no fib. His words were a warm blanket of solace wrapping itself tightly around your figure — serving as a shield, protecting you from anything that could perforate through your being; your soul.
Your parents had always been the main assailants in the attacks you had experienced throughout your life. After your brother walked away from home they pushed you aside, neglected you and left you to raise yourself. They were never there for birthdays or the holidays or summer vacations or even just regular days. You were a thirteen year old girl alone not being able to decipher why all of their grief from your brother’ abandonment came at the expense of the love they claimed to have had for you.
All your life you tried to work out if you’d done anything wrong but you finally see that it wasn’t you. Their neglect was based on their inability to be parents before anything else.
So yes, you were like the moon. Small yet consequential.
Jungkook’s pinky brushed up against yours slightly as he traced random shapes on your skin; sort of like asking permission before actually holding your hand. You looked at each other and before you knew it he wrapped his hand to yours. The warmth radiating from him was soothing and like nothing you’ve ever felt before. If you were sure of one thing — it’s you never wanted him to let go.
You just wanted to stay there with him in that moment forever.
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“Jungkook, you better shake off all that sand out here or you are forbidden from entering my room,” you threatened, which only resulted in a mischievous grin from the man and the sand to go flying in your direction as he purposely tried to get it on you.
“Is that all better?”
You snorted, brushing off any of the remaining sand he did get in you, “you are so mean.”
A week of summer adventures had graced your life for the better — Jungkook had burdened himself with the mission to get you to enjoy the wonders of the scorching summer months and he was succeeding. You have enjoyed all of it thus far. Even having the ocean sand in places where the sun doesn’t shine.
The schedule doesn’t cease and while your platonic relationship with Jungkook blossomed though you couldn’t completely shut out the feelings that sent your heart into a frenzy whenever he was near. You like him so bad, but your friendship with him was like a gem, a rare gem and you wouldn’t trade that for anything on this entire planet.
“You know what’s weird?” Jungkook walked out from the bathroom just as you finished getting dressed. One towel hugged his waist, while the other he used to dry his hair.
“Jungkook?” you yelped, “clothes.”
“Oh, come on, you saw all of this at the beach,” he pointed at his sculpted physique. You did and you were almost sent into cardiac arrest then — what makes him think you’d be any better off within the congested walls of your room. He was feet away near the bathroom door but it felt like he was just beside you.
“Whatever. .” you turned around trying to keep yourself busy with something else, something that did not involve gawking at him. “This wall—“ he noticed you weren’t looking, “this wall right above your bed it looks so fucking familiar.”
“Jungkook, you’ve been in here about a dozen times in the past week,” your body stiffened as you felt a nauseating flutter in your stomach.
“You’re right . .” your back was still turned towards him but you could hear the floorboards creak as he inched closer, “but that right there only confirms it. There’s also your voice, that birthmark sitting right below your bottom lip and not to mention your nail polish you always keep the exact same shade.”
“Jungkook—“
“Not very clever I’d say,” his chin rested on the nook of your neck, “especially we ended on becoming this close.”
You wanted to say something — anything but you couldn’t actually speak.
“After our first time on Eargasm together,” he whispered into your ear, “do you know how much I thought of you? Your voice was the only thing that has played in my head since then. I wanted. . needed to meet you. The girl behind the black screen.”
“How long have you known?”
“Since the day you went to get your card fixed at the student center,” he continued, “your voice is soft, euphonic, harmonious, even when you’re cumming. It’s easy to distinguish.”
You shuddered as a result of his dulcet praise, “I’m so transparent but your tattoos ratted you out especially the snake sitting right below your wrist.”
“Problem is I wasn’t trying to hide, doll.”
“You didn’t care?”
“I didn’t care.”
Turning around the two of you remained face to face examining even the tiniest of details within one another. The pale red tint on the apple of his cheeks matched the tone of his lips almost perfectly.
His lips . . they were so inviting. You were sluggishly levitating towards him before his words slammed at your brakes.
“I think we should get going,” Jungkook said standing by the door holding his keys out to you. Was he kicking you out of your own dorm? “You wanna wait for me in the car? I’ll be right down.”
“Uh—“ you were a bit taken back with disappointment and just a bit of confusion. Was he really oblivious to it? “Yeah, that sounds fine. Don’t be long.”
A million thoughts scrambled your brain on the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car as your eyes drifted off toward the sun disappearing into the horizon. Love was never your forte but if you were sure of one thing it’s that what you felt although unspoken was evident; crystal clear more so. So you replayed what had happened in your room time and time again to decipher when it all had gone to shit. Perhaps, he was in fact still angry about you knowing it was him all along. . But you’d apologized when joined you in the car and he reassured you that it was fine and he wasn’t mad.
Looking back towards the driver seat, Jungkook remained with one hand on the wheel and his eyes glued to the road ahead. Not a word escaped his lips. Why is it so difficult to figure out what men are thinking?
Once you arrived at the drive-in movie theater, Jungkook parked and quickly dismissed himself to buy snacks while you tried to find the station provided to be able to hear the movie and finally you did.
“Okay,” Jungkook opened the car door, taking his previous seat back on the driver’s side, “I got popcorn, cherry slushies and a bunch of gummies. I just guessed on everything hoping it wasn’t a complete miss.”
“Of course I like these. Thank you, Jungkook.” You’d like anything he brought back for you simply because it came from him, “You know, I thought this style of movie watching ceased to exist after the 90s.”
“Yeah, I guess there was a decline in popularity after the 90s. Now, in some places it is once again sought out as a popular summer activity.”
“That is evident,” you looked around at the packed lot out in front of you. You guys scored the very last spot in the very last row, “Do you come here often?” Only you knew the real undertones of that question. ‘Do you bring other girls here often?’ This is what you actually meant.
“Not often,” he took a sip of his slushie
“Not often,” you repeated under your breath with a residue of bitterness left in your tastebuds. You weren’t sure if your drinking had grown pungent or if his words simply landed a punch in your gut triggering your acid reflux.
Patience, patience and endurance. You’d neared your limit for both while your heart continued its call for Jungkook but he simply could not hear. Was he really oblivious to it? You wondered once again. Was the wailing just white noise to him . . Non-existent? Could he not hear it as loudly as you could? Because to you it was all you could hear, the only thing you could pay mind to. To you the movie was long gone and all you wanted was for him to notice you. Not simply as friends, but to embrace what you knew he briefly felt for you back at the dorm. To actually see you.
“Are you okay?” his hand slowly moved to shove some more popcorn into his mouth. His words were slack, almost as if he’d been put to function in slow motion, “do you not like the movie?”
You couldn’t care less about the fucking movie. “The movie is fine.”
“Are you sure?” Was that concern in his voice? “I can get you something else from the snack bar,“ he reached for the handle, “let ne get you a water.“
“No,“ you held his wrist, “just stay please.”
“The snack bar is less than ten steps away. Are you sure you don’t want it?”
“I don’t want you to go.” You weren’t sure you were being clear so you tried your best to elaborate, “I know technically left my own room earlier but I didn’t want to and now I do not want you to go.”
You heaved feeling the pace of your quickening heart beating your chest. Then mumbled, “I left only because you asked me to but I wanted to stay with you.”
His eyebrows were furrowed as he tried to unscramble your inept confession. Soon his chocolate eyes dilated realizing the weight of your words.
“Like?” He asked, allowing his silence to fill in the gaps.
“Yes,” you confessed. “I wanted to stay in my room with you and spend the night together.”
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Truthfully, I wanted you to stay but I didn’t want to overstep after we talked about the Eargasm thing,” He turned his head away from his hands gripping the steering wheel towards you in the passenger seat.
“I like you. I’ve liked you before Eargasm Jungkook,” you could’ve sworn the sky began plummeting down on you while you just sat amongst the deafening silence, with your heart poured out before you — and still Jungkook said nothing, “Uh, you know what forget I ever. .” you paused taking another look in his direction but Jungkook simply hid behind wide eyes, “actually, no. Scratch that. I like you but I’ll be okay.”
“You are much braver than me, you know,” he spoke quietly, “a lot of my life I’ve lived hidden behind JK and though he is my other half he is not truly who I am. He is much more courageous than I’ll ever be but you were brave so I know I owe you a reciprocation of the same transparency. I’ve liked you from the moment I walked into class that very first day and I’ve only fallen for you harder with each passing day.”
“Jungkook.”
He hummed.
“Kiss me.”
In the matter of seconds the two of you climbed over to the back seat — the clashing of your body heat drew sweat beads to cascade down your temples. Your attention was far off that though, instead you were lulled by the softness of his silken lips pressed against yours. You could feel the thud of your combined heartbeat in the way your bodies were pressed so tightly against each other. His palm resided by your waist as he continued tugging at your top.
He pulled away, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, “are you sure you want to do this here?”
You looked around feeling locked in by the tint of Jungkook’s car windows, “I’m sure.”
Before your back could meet his leather seat, Jungkook began pulling your panties down and pushing your denim skirt up past your belly button. Jungkook was always gentle whether it was with his words or his touch, that was the truth, and today was no different.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” Jungkook’s usual dove eyes were now burning with hunger — desire. His hands rested on your knees and he began spreading your legs farther and farther away from each other causing your underwear to become soaked. You hadn’t really noticed how spacious the back of his car was until now, until he kneeled in front of you. His fingers traced the outline of your thighs as he reached under your skirt quickly pulling your panties down to your ankles.
You closed your eyes, melting back into the seat. The feeling came in waves you quickly realized. First, there was the anticipation as your body urged him to touch your body but he only allowed his digits to cloud over your cunt. Then, there was the taunting of his teasing touch where he would drag the pads of his fingers along your folds — a touch so agonizing you found yourself driving your hips against him for some relief.
“Come on, doll,” Jungkook cooed as two of his fingers sat at your entrance with no intention of moving, “I thought you were more patient than this.”
“I’ll be good,” you heaved, “I promise.”
“Promise?” He pushed past the muscle of your entrance quickly invading your insides and in that moment you could’ve sworn you were no longer in his car — instead you lived amongst the celestial body of lumineers lighting the night sky. Words poured out of you in the form of profanities featured by the moans you couldn’t seem to suppress the quicker he pumped in and out of you.
That was it. That feeling. You held on as if your life depended on it. There was nothing, nothing else that could claim your attention the way Jungkook was at that very moment.
“Oh, right there,” your nails dug into his shoulder blades as he reached the very spot in your insides which blurred your vision and caused your legs to shake just a bit, “j-just keep going right there.”
His lips quickly landed on yours for a kiss so torrid you could taste the remnants of his cherry chapstick on your tongue. Enveloped by the overstimulation of the kiss and his fingers inside of you, the remaining piece of string which held you together snapped and behind your eyelids all you saw were spots of flashing white lights.
“Jungkook. .” You waited just a moment to catch your breath before patting the seat right beside you, “come sit with me. Unwind.”
“It’s hard to think of anything else when you’re sitting right beside me looking like that,” he hummed, “ all fucked out when I’ve only fingered you.”
“Just. . trust me,” As soon as he sat you placed your hand on his chest climbing onto his lap placing your legs on either side of his, “will you do that?”
“I trust you.”
Even the mess Jungkook had already created in between your thighs you felt that concupiscent armor burning deep inside of you — it was like a wildfire you couldn’t extinguish. Jungkook’s hands landed on your waist, his grip was sweaty against your skin, he began you forward and backward on his lap. And you began reciprocating that movement at a rhythm equivalent to his.
The temperature continued to rise within the enclosure of his car and a mixture of his rough grunts and your pleased hums began to fill the space. His clothed cock and your bare clit continued to meet in the filthiest of ways yet you couldn't resist but cry out for more. You craved more.
“I-I need you, Jungkook,” you whimpered.
If you thought you’d known pleasure before there was nothing compared to the way Jungkook’s massive cock felt inside your walls. It’s as if his dick was personally crafted to slip into you. God, he wasn’t moving a single muscle — you weren’t either and still you couldn’t help the countless moans dripping right off your lips.
“Are you okay?” he asked, “can I move?”
“Please,” you cried out.
In being the embodiment of sin, Jungkook embraced his mercilessness as a result of your yelp when his cock rammed into you with a drawn out yet deep thrust. As he slipped in and out if you saw the way he almost pulled out entirely only to guide you back down harshly on his length. Over and over and over. Your head lulled back and you were sure your rolled eyes could recite the contents of the inside of your skull.
“D-don’t stop,” you choked out, placing a hand on the hood for support as Jungkook continued to have you at his mercy, “I’m so close.”
You couldn’t really see in the midst of the pleasure coursing through you but you could feel the way his warm lips landed kisses around your breasts while his hands caressed your sides.
“P-please don’t stop,” the car began moving along with his pace and you were sure the others around you were now aware of the events unfolding right beside them. But you didn’t fucking care. Jungkook’s hand reached down in between your thighs near the exact point where his length disappeared inside of you, and he began stimulating your clit — drawing out small circles. You were shaking with pleasure spilling a string of curses. This continued until you finally reached your peak through screams of his name and your juices coating his cock while he poured into you.
“Fuck,” you cried out sweetly as he pulled out, “that was amazing.”
“It was better than amazing.”
You laid your back against him as he wrapped you up in his warm embrace. The two of you were warm and sweaty, “so what’s on the itinerary for tomorrow?” You asked.
“We’ll go anywhere you wanna go. Together.”
“Together,” you smiled.
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a/n: this is mildly edited sooo . . . thread lightly for any mistakes lol. Also, the smut is pretty average but my brain wasn’t working so sorry about that in advance <3
🔖: @shaybtsfoever @bjoriis @sharkipoonis @hoseokteardrop @ravensidea @skzthinker @cherryluvhobi
reblogs, likes, comments, replies are always appreciated.
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gretavanlace · 28 days
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Feels Like Gold
Jake Kiszka x reader
18+ only! Minors do not interact!
Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, language, dirty talk, breeding kink, Jake drives a car (the most dangerous situation of all), extremely mild degradation, etc
Okay, in honor of our collective jakedown, I rooted around in my unreleased work and then did a little revamping. This one is for you, @piratejakesgf thank you for your request ❤️ *loosely edited, fair warning
And kisses to @jake-kiszkas-smirk and her brilliant mind for titling this when I was at a loss 💋 xoxo
“Fuck, these are so uncomfortable!” you hiss with exasperation, tugging at the itchy nylon hell encasing your legs.
“Told you not to wear them.” Jake reminds you, flipping on his turn signal before switching lanes, though the freeway is dark and nearly deserted.
“You know how my family is.” you remind him right back, annoyed with his flippant attitude. “If I’d shown up to that wedding in a dress with bare legs I’d have been labeled the whore of the family tree. My branch weighed down with bad choices; exposed skin and a degenerate rockstar on my arm.”
“I mean, to their credit, I actually am a degenerate so they’re just calling ‘em like they see ‘em.” His eyes are locked on the road, but a tiny smirk tells you he’s pleased with his cleverness. “Plus, your aunt tried to fuck me, so you aren’t the only whore in the family.”
An abrupt laugh trills out of you. “Right. Which aunt?”
“Does it matter?” he shrugs. “She told me she slept with Joe Perry and it left her with a taste for guitarists…I told her Perry could suck my dick because I could stomp his riffs any day, but that only turned her on even more.”
“And then what happened?” you giggle, falling into his little pretend world.
“Well,” he sighs wearily, “Promise you won’t be angry with me?”
You’re solemn and stoic, as if this is very serious business, “Scouts honor.”
“Then, I excused myself and wound up fucking your uncle in the bathroom, instead.” he squints at an upcoming exit sign to be sure you’re headed in the right direction, and then settles back into a more relaxed state, wrist guiding the steering wheel casually.
“Was he any good?” you ask, mock sincerity laced through your tone.
“I’ve had better.” He shrugs.
“You’re so stupid.” you shake your head with a doting roll of your eyes, and reach under your dress to roll the torturous hose down and off.
He watches out of the corner of his eye, stealing glances as safely as he can while driving.
“Jesus, they were thigh highs all this time?” he sounds a little like he’s considering jerking the car over onto the shoulder of the highway to drag you into the backseat.
“All this time.” the garment in question lands in his lap.
“Lemme see.” he orders quietly before you have a chance to remove the second.
Up the hem of your dress travels until he can get a good look at the black lace resting at the top of your thigh. “Fuck, pretty girl.”
“You like that?” you tease in a silken voice.
He nods, tightening his grip on the wheel.
You push a little further with, “Are you hard?”
“I’m gonna kick you out of this car and make you walk home.” he lies, reaching out to snap the elastic lace against your skin. “Take this one off, too…it’s doing unspeakable things to me. Especially since you’re only wearing the one. You look sloppy - like I just rocked your shit in the back of a tour bus.”
“Jacob Thomas..” you gasp lightly, as though scandalized “Someone seems a little worked up.”
“I might be, if only I didn’t have such a firm grasp on the power of will, my darling.”
He’s being untruthful, but he does it so elegantly - in that soft, slightly British lilt of his, you decide to grant him a very gracious pass and drop the second into his lap.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, Kiszka.” You wiggle your polished toes, enjoying the freedom. “My baby cousin, the one you let dance on your feet? She asked me if you were a pirate.”
This tugs an honest laugh out of his chest…a gorgeous sound that colors your cheeks pink. “You told her yes, I expect?”
You hum in confirmation, “I did. And I told her that you have a special sword with strings on it and it makes beautiful, dark music that people come from far away lands to hear. Just like the sirens in Peter Pan.”
His face visibly softens in the flickers of light shed by the street lamps whipping by. “You always did know how to paint a lovely picture, pretty girl.”
The low purr of the engine lulls your head against the window, but just as your eyes begin to grow heavy, he pulls you back to him with a quiet, “Hey,”
Turning your head against the seat, you study his profile, charting the map of your favorite face, “Yeah?”
”Whose baby was that you were holding? The tiny, tiny one,”
It seems such an odd thing for him to ponder, and you have to mentally sift through the reception a bit, you held a great many babies tonight…it seemed like every cousin and second cousin in attendance was weighed down by a diaper bag stuffed full of diapers and pacifiers.
”The one with the little headband bow-thingy.” He clarifies. “She was so small.”
“My cousin’s. He and his wife’s third in almost as many years. She’s only like a month old and smelled like heaven.” You draw in a breath and wish her silken tufts of hair were still pressed to your cheek, “Why?”
”I don’t know,” you know him well enough to know that’s a damn lie. “I just- I don’t know…do you ever think about it?”
Caught off guard, you opt for a little joke, “Does Jakey have baby fever?”
He smiles, and there is a touch of shyness that lives there, “Shut up. Do you think about it?”
“Do I think about having babies? Well, I-“
He interrupts quickly to set you straight, “Do you think about having babies with me?”
Oh.
Where is he heading with this? Will a bit of honesty scare him? Will it scare you?
Deciding to take the plunge, this is simply a conversation after all, and a subject that he broached to boot, you choose truth. “Yes, I’ve thought about babies with you. Although that whole twin thing is fucking terrifying.”
Again, you joke. Again, he doesn’t take the bait. “Identical twins aren’t hereditary. We’re just an accidental fuck up. When you think about it, what do you think?”
”A lot of things.”
Smoothly, he guides the car onto the off-ramp that leads to home. “Very informative, darling. A veritable treasure trove of information.”
He hasn’t tipped his hand and you aren’t about to let him off so easily. “”Do you think about it?”
”Honestly, not before. I mean, I think about how you’ll look in your wedding dress and if you’ll wear your hair swept up the way I like, and I suppose that’s sort of the same thing. Or headed in the same direction, anyway. But watching you hold that baby tonight…”
Your chest suddenly feels a little tight. You’re touched by his admission.
And how endearing that he wonders how you’ll wear your hair. You reach out and stroke the back of your hand along the cut of his jaw, “When the day comes, I’ll wear it up for you.”
~
Later, he’s draped across the bed watching you glide about the room in your bra and panties. Earrings unfastened and placed gently on your jewelry tray, necklace hung carefully, hair let loose and shaken out at long last.
Hands folded behind his head, he speaks up, breaking the spell you have unknowingly cast over him, “You said ‘a lot of things’. Elaborate.”
You turn, eyes drifting over the king lounging about upon the bed you share, in nothing but the dress pants he hasn’t yet bothered to shed. “What?”
He cocks his chin, summoning your attention further ”Babies. You said you think about a lot of things.”
He looks so fucking sinfully delicious…a sickeningly sweet cake sent from the bewitching trenches of hell to rot your teeth. “The normal things. Baby things.”
The heavy wooden frame creeks quietly as he pulls himself into a sitting position to study your expression, “Liar.”
”Oh, I’m sorry,” you dance around the accusation, “I just happen to be looking at a disgustingly attractive little shit waiting for me to climb into bed beside him. Forgive me for looking flustered.”
”Don’t be coy, darling,” he tsks, clicking his tongue against his perfect teeth. “I can see it written all over your pretty face. You’ve got a secret.”
He’s moving towards the edge of the bed now, drawing you in closer with his devilish stare. “Tell me.”
”I don’t have a secret.” Whose voice is that? Surely it’s much too quiet and meek to be your own.
”Tell the truth.” He hums, a knowing twinkle flashing in his gaze. “What do you think about?”
Your eyes refuse to meet his own as your stomach knots, warm and vibrating. “I guess…sometimes I - sometimes I think about the trying part of it all.”
He’s watching you closely, you can feel it like warm fingers dancing across your blushing skin. “So you think about fucking?”
He almost sounds disappointed. He had expected more judging by your hesitancy to share.
”Well,” your fingers are plucking at the comforter now, rooting out a loose thread to spin around your finger, “Yes, but it’s kind of more than that. I think about you… inside me.”
At last, you peek up at him. He looks curious, as if he can’t quite figure you out. “Why are you being such a little mouse about this?” His palms are cupping your face now, calluses soothing you like a song. “I’m inside you all the time, and I think about it all the time, too.”
Shaking your head gently, you find your footing…at least a smidge, “Not like that. I think about you inside me. The way you would have to be if we were trying.”
Your birth control rendered condoms unnecessary ages ago, yet he has always pulled out - ever cautious and responsible. Confusion is still painted across his features…until it isn’t.
“Oh,” a lascivious grin appears and you long to curl your tongue over his lips, “you fucking filthy little thing.”
In a blink, you’re dragged onto the bed and into his arms, tossed down with your back against the sheets. his body heated and flush against yours.
Mouth suckling and nipping at your throat, he rasps into your skin, “Is that what does it for you? Pretty girl wants my cum?”
Your body’s reaction is visceral, primal, and almost embarrassing. You’re arching away from the mattress, desperate to be even closer than you already are.
“Answer me.” He huffs, sinking a bite into your jaw.
”Yes…” your hands are in his hair, thighs around his waist, “I want it.”
”Say it.” He’s rocking against you now, hard and straining against your panties. “Say what it is that you want. What you think about.”
”I think about you fucking me,” once again, whose shaking voice is that? “I think about the way you sound when you finish, and the way your cock throbs and twitches in your hand, and how it might feel inside me.”
”Keep going.” He orders, soft and wavering in your ear.
”I think about how warm your cum would feel inside of me, and maybe I wouldn’t be able to keep it all in. Maybe it might tickle a little when it leaked out.”
”Fuck, baby…” his hands are everywhere, yanking your breasts from the cups of your bra, winding your panties down your thighs, fingers sinking into your soaking, clenching cunt with a groan that sounds pained.
He seeks out your favorite spot and tucks up into it, wrenching a wanton moan from your lungs “You want me to fill this little pussy up? Keep you dripping wet with me all day long? Fuck baby after baby into you?”
”Jake…” you’re clawing at his bare shoulders, fucking yourself hopelessly against his hand. “More.”
He slips a third finger inside you, “Is that why you get a little whiny when I pull out? My girl wants me to do it inside?”
”More,” you urge through gritted teeth, eyes locked in on his face and the lust so evident in the set of his features.
”You want four?”
”Please, Jake…” tears are threatening at your lash line, “more, more, more,”
“You’re having some trouble listening tonight, aren’t you?” he sounds diabolical, and turned on beyond belief. “I asked you a question.”
His thighs prise your legs open wider as he squeezes his pinky into your warmth to join the rest of his drenched fingers, “Do you want my cum inside you? You want me to give it to you? Keep it all safe and warm for me?”
With a mournful wail you’re reduced to a million little pieces beneath him. Rocking frantically into his touch…the heel of his hand grinding quick circles into your clit as his fingers fuck you through it. He’s covered in you, it rolls down his wrist and beads against his stomach like early morning dew, anointing him as you thrash and writhe like a beautiful, fluttering leaf in an autumn wind.
When the hazy fog clears, allowing your sight, it’s his face - stunning and beaming - you find, “Hey, pretty girl.”
Now that you’re coming down, your diffidence returns and you close your eyes in a pathetic attempt to hide.
He’s having none of it, “No, no, darling…you stay with me. Right here, baby. You look so pretty with my cock inside you, imagine how fucking beautiful you’re gonna be when I fuck you full.”
“Please, jake…” it’s pathetic really, and maybe you should care about that, but you don’t. “I need it, I need it so bad.”
“Yeah?” The gravel in his tone makes you shiver with frantic desire. “Pretty girl just wants to bounce on my cock all day? Just using me to get what she wants?”
Rather than answer, you elect to begin wrangling the button on his pants.
“Someone’s eager.” He teases softly, lifting up on one elbow, easing your struggle. “You want it that bad? Are you gonna let me cum wherever I want? Gonna let me put a baby inside you?”
“Fucking do it!” Frustrated and sparking with electric desperation, you give up and tug on his waistband feverishly until he takes over, popping the button with ease and kicking them off.
His cock is fisted in his hand now, with your eyes fiercely focused on it. Hard and beautiful and yours. “You want that inside you?” He whispers, watching you stare. “You want me to fuck you? You want me to fucking breed that pretty pussy? Make you a mama?”
You should be ashamed of yourself, you well and truly should be…but fuck if you don’t want more, “Keep talking while you fuck me,” you breathe, somewhere between imploring and begging, “Dirtier, come on…”
His cock slips inside. Just the cashmere tip teasing at you, “Dirtier?” He nudges in a little deeper, just enough to make you whine, “well what should I say, pretty girl? Should I tell you that you’re my beautiful little cum slut and if I’d known it sooner I’d have been stuffing you full all this time?” Deeper still he glides, “Or that I want to cum inside you and then fall asleep with my fingers buried in your cunt to keep it where it belongs?” He’s fucking you harder, faster…the pillowy head of his cock kissing your cervix in a divine dance between pleasure and pain. “Or should I tell you about how I think about licking it up? Kissing you with my cum on my tongue because I know you’d suck it off like the greedy little baby you are.”
“I-“ a pitiful whimper escapes you, but his fingers are suddenly grasping your chin, grounding you enough to collect your scattered thoughts. “I’m gonna cum, tell me where you’re going to cum. Tell me where you’re going to put it. Please, I want it,”
Hips rolling into a succulent grind against your swollen clit now, he begins “I’m gonna fuck you until you’ve got every last drop, pretty girl. It’s all yours, are you gonna take it for me like a good girl? Are you going to be a good little mama and take it all?”
His name is all you can manage as you shatter. It’s primeval and animalistic, sounds that would make you want to crumple in on yourself if anyone heard them besides your Jacob.
“You’re so fucking tight and wet..” his perfect cock is pounding you through it as he inches closer and closer, “are you ready for me to make a mess of this little beauty right here? Hmm? Ready for me to fuck this cunt all full and dirty? You want it?”
“Jake…” you trail off, eyes fighting to stay open and locked in on his face while you shake against him, twisting and clenching around his perfect cock, “you’re so fucking hard.”
He nods furiously, burying his face in the crook of your neck to lick your pounding pulse “That’s all you, baby. You make me that hard.”
Your hips begin rocking up to meet him even faster, hungry to please. “Good girl, you keep fucking that cock. Are you gonna take what you want? Gonna make me cum? Gonna help me fill this pretty little cunt?”
In response, your nails dig into his skin, raking your mark, claiming him. You’re almost there again, though you can’t imagine how. “I’m so fucking close,” you’re sighing and shaking the words into the room, offering confession.
“Again?” He’s mocking you so sweetly, teasing dirty words into your ear like lullabies, “Already? Is my pretty girl gonna cum on this cock? Squeeze and suck the cum right out of me to steal it away? You want it that badly?”
You let go, with a trembling breath of his name, and feel his body tense against the feverish grip of your orgasm.
”That’s it, baby,” his words are but a sigh skittering across your cheek, “That’s it. Feels so good. Feels like gold. My pretty, pretty girl…”
He fucks you faster even as you melt into a puddle within his arms. “Gonna cum for you,” he promises, “I’m gonna cum so hard for you. Who’s going to take it? Who’s gonna take every fucking drop?”
”I am,” have you even made a sound? You can’t be sure, you’re so lost.
”Yes, you are…” his forehead, slick with exertion and need, nods against your own. “You’re going to take it just like you take this cock. My good fucking girl…pretty pink baby doll just begging for me to wreck her.”
Without warning, he collapses into your arms, moaning and crying out, shuddering as he releases inside you. Warm and perfect, everything you’ve ever imagined and so much more.
His fingers sink into your muscles, clutching and pulling you closer still, “Baby…” he sounds raspy and pained, “Baby, baby, baby, fuck..fuck…”
And when at last, he calms, it is with his cheek pressed to your chest, clocking the wild metronome that is your heart with your hands sweeping through his hair.
Soon, you’ll both crawl out of bed, maybe into the shower…perhaps into the warmth of a bath, but for now it is simply you, and Jake, and this tranquil bliss.
Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @lvnterninthenight @paintmyhouse @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @thewritingbeforesunrise @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @calumspretty @sad1lynn @demolitionndann @gvfpal @starcatcher-jake @gretavangroupie
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itsohh · 1 year
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141 Leaving their partner to keep them safe
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A/N: G/N reader, this was inspired by Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol which I've been listening to repeat for like an hour. Such a vibe.
Warnings: Angst
Masterlist
Gaz
It had been a decision that had kept him up for nights. One her eventually went to Price about. "You have to do what you think is right Gaz. This isn't a decision I can make for you." John has told him, face soft with pity. He didn't envy the position Kyle was in.
So he took you out, gave you the best night he possibly could. On the now dark beach he took your hand, sat down the pair of you on a public chair. The roar of waves in the background. "I wanted to do everything I possibly could with you tonight." He swallowed and let out a deep breath.
"Kyle? Is everything alright." He couldn't look at you, couldn't look at those eyes of yours.
"I won't be able to see you anymore."
"You- huh? What do you mean?"
"I'm breaking up with you. You're a distraction at work, I can't focus when I'm thinking about you." His words had a sliver of truth to them, yes you distracted him sometimes but it was never a problem. It was never something he couldn't control. The real reason had been an attack on a number of SAS operatives' families. Leaked files that had compromised a number of people. Some had died. Kyle hadn't been compromised or had his file leaked but it was still a very real threat.
It has put his entire life into a new perspective.
Eventually he made up his mind. "It's not your fault, I don't think I can be in a relationship at all. It isn't a fit with my life anymore, I'm sorry."
"I... see." You looked over to the ocean. "I thought tonight you were going to… I don't know what I thought tonight was going to be. Not this. I hope your career works out well for you." Your voice went from broken to stoic. Almost emotionless. Kyle wanted to comfort you, to hold you close but he didn't. It wouldn't help you, it would only help him. Kyle knew he had been selfish enough that night.
So Kyle watched as you got up from the public chair. "You can get your stuff from my house tomorrow when I'm at work. I don't want it." From stoic to angry.
"Let me take you home, it's late."
"Piss off Kyle. I'll get an uber. You worry about where you're spending the night." There was an anger that bubbled in your chest, hand clenched. Despite your anger directed to him, it was more at yourself. That you ever thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.
Without looking at him you started to walk off, a mutter beneath your breath. "I hate the fucking beach."
Ghost
A single picture. One you would never know about. It was of you, a smile on your face as you candidly looked to the side. You had been drawing the curtains closed. A picture that you never knew and would never know was taken.
A single picture that had been sent to Ghost.
A single picture that had made him make up his mind.
Ghost had made sure to clean out all evidence of himself from your house while you were out shopping. That day he helped you unpacked. A smile had been plastered from one side of your face to the other. You had been so happy for his return, so happy to see him again. "I don't love you anymore." He had said those words when you sat down on the couch next to him. For a second you thought it was just a cruel joke. But you searched his eyes, searched that masked face of his.
"What?"
"Nothing more to it." He stood up from the couch and you jumped up after him.
"Is there someone else?"
"No, there's nothing that happened. Don't overthink it. People fall out of love sometimes."
"Can I do something to make you fall back in love? We can get through this, this doesn't have to be the end of the road. Simon if your scared if we are going too fast or-"
"-No. Nothing you say will change this." His movements were rigid, tense as he walked towards the door. Ready to vanish into the night to never be seen again.
"Simon-" Your bottom lip quivered and your eyes were big while you started at the back of his head.
"Don't call me that. Find someone that can love you the way you love me, because I can't."
Price
It had been a month. A month since work had been brought home. Back on your feet, the bruises had faded. Wrapped up on the couch a figure moved in the corner of your eye. "John?" No answer. You frowned and pushed the blankets off your body. The cool air hit your legs and you shuffled towards his figure. You could have sworn you heard the small click of the front door opening. 
"John?" He froze with his hand on the door, a bag slung over his shoulder. "Do you have another mission? I suppose I can't keep you here all the time." You smiled and he nodded. He returned the smile but there was something in his eyes. A sadness, a deep sadness. "Do you know when you will be back?"
"No." His eyes broke eye contact. "Let me go out this in the car and I'll be back to say goodbye." Before you could open your mouth he had pushed open the door and disappeared. 
True to his word he came back to the front door and opened his arms wide, welcoming you into him as he usually did. You hurried your face into his chest and your hands practically clawed into his shirt. A gentle kiss blessed the top of your head. 
Slowly you pulled back from him, eyes glazed as you looked into his. "You're not coming back are you?" 
He froze and his face turned into one of pity. "You always were a smart thing." His head gently started to stroke your hair. 
"Was it something I did John? Is there something that I didn't do? Is there-"
"-Shh shhh, I promise you. It was nothing you did. It's not you. You're perfect, too perfect for me. But I have to focus on work."
"John no please- don't-." You choked on your words, a sob ripped from your as you buried your face back into his chest. 
"I'm so sorry. Shhh shhh. Everything will be okay. You still have your whole life ahead of you."
"But I don't want that without you John please don't leave. I love you please, please, please, I love you so much I'll do anything please John." Your begs were interpreted as he grasped both sides of your face with his hands. His brows were furrowed and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. 
His lips pressed against yours only for a moment. "I love you too sweetheart. Please don't make this harder. I have to do what I have to do."
"John." He let go of you and started to turn but you grabbed his arm. "John please."
His shoulders tensed and his breath frosted in the cold air. John didn't try to pull from you, he didn't say a word yet the request to let go was loud in the air. 
"I love you John. I'll never forget about you."
"Forget about me. Please, it would be kinder."
"John!" You let go of his arm and sunk to your knees, watching him go. 
Soap
Graves's words rung in his head. Even after his death, the man still managed to make his life a living hell. "Heard you got a sweetheart back at home McTavish." If he hadn't been in the middle of throwing out the C4 there was a very real possibility that Graves's words would have made him freeze.
"Perhaps when I'm done here I'll go show them what a real man is. A real soldier. Perhaps be their shoulder to cry on. Then the second they get over you- make them mine. Will never think about your sorry ass again."
That final C4 has really made it truly satisfying to wipe whatever smirk that was on his face into smithereens.
The more Soap thought about it though, the more it worried him. If Graves knew you were existed then who else did? What if Shepard wanted to use you against him? What if someone else turned?
He could let that happen to you. At the same time, Johnny was scare. Terrified, he couldn't face breaking your heart. As much as he thought you deserved to be told face to face, he couldn't. "I'm a fucking coward." He hissed to himself, his handwriting messy as he finished scribbling down the piss poor excuse of a break up.
You were so peaceful in your once shared bed. Content. A mood that would drastically change at your wake. When you would find him long gone. Only a note for an excuse. Johnny taped the small note to his pillow and made the bed. You stired a little in the bed but didnt wake from your deep sleep.
In a moment of weakness, Johnny sat down on the bed. He lay down backwards so his head was on your chest. Eyes closed he could almost imagine the way your hands would thread through his hair. He could almost imagine that laughter that he would never hear again. "I love you." A small whiper into the darkness. With a deep breath he slowly moved forward. Still so peaceful asleep, he left, a final glance at the doorway.
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year
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Yandere Cult Leader! Headcanons
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Warnings: Toxic Behaviour, Obsessive Behaviour, Possessive Behaviour, Delusions of Grandeur, Narcissism, Manipulation, Indoctrination, Implications of Smut, Implications of Sexual Coercion, Kidnapping, False Imprisonment, Implication of Murder, Implications of Torture, Implication of Sexual Punishment/Reward, Implications of Pregnancy (Not of Reader), Poisoning, Stockholm Syndrome, Religious Themes, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You’.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when he sees you for the first time, a quiver in your walk and your voice as you explain to him that your car just swerved into a tree, seemingly of its own accord, leaving you with no means of transportation, knows there is something different about you. Almost whimsical.
♡ Something that makes his stone heart stammer.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when you shamble up to his front doorstep and plead for help, welcomes you with open arms into his house – the only one for miles – and tells you to “Take a seat. Please, make yourself comfortable !”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, after finding out that you’re unfamiliar with the area, that you’re not privy to where anything or anyone is, hence you didn’t see whatever caused your car to swerve, can’t help but feel something hidden, dark, light up in the back of his mind.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who insists you “Stay the night; we’d be more than happy to have you !” And actively resists your declination, your promise that you’ll “Be fine if I can get to a hospital.”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader whose only elaboration on who “we” are comes in the form of taking you out the back of the house, which now you see is more like a manor, the front of the architecture being deceptively small and mousy, where, as far as the eye could see, a town slept. One filled with people – hundreds, it seemed – dressed in clothing so similar to one another that they formed a moving pattern.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, despite knowing there are always vacant houses available for any ‘late comers’ to his Association, tells you otherwise – that you will be “Staying with me.” Just until you’re better. Or the next morning, at the very least.
♡ With no phone signal and a growing headache, throupled with your limp, you feel you have little chance of survival out on the open road; especially at night.
♡ And, with what you suspect to be a concussion and no room to argue given how far from anything and everything you were, you accepted what you thought was a gracious offer.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader knows he has to act fast – while you’re still vulnerable and malleable.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when he has one of his associates draw you a bath, takes your clothes and puts them somewhere only he knows, providing you with clothes of the same material and disposition as everyone else at the compound town.
♡ “For your comfort,” he says, smiling vaguely. “Those city garments looked awfully dirty and uncomfortable – especially since you’ve just had a nasty accident.”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when you ask for an ambulance, does one better, bringing you the ‘in-house doctor’ who tells him exactly what he wants to hear. That you’ll “Need to rest for the next week or so, just to be safe.”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who thanks whatever deity aside from himself exists who has gifted him such a lenient timeframe to grant you ascension into his Family.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, standing just outside your guest bedroom, can’t help but smile, knowing that a week alone with you will be a cakewalk. He’s converted people in a single night before now. Albeit through practices he just can’t bring himself to use on you. Not in isolation, anyway.
♡ Despite the unfamiliar sense of urgency that twists his heart in directions it has never known.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who wastes no time in spinning a frivolous, magnificent story for you, proclaiming himself the mayor of this small, humble town, made up of hard-working folk – farmers, labourers, clothes makers; people who were driven from the city after industrialisation made it impossible for them to financially support themselves.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who revels in the way your eyes glimmer when he divulges his accolades to you, though does so with the modesty of one who sees it as their everyday life. Yet, he knows he has not captured your adoration yet. Another idol lives in your heart; a pop star, a film actor, a god of some description. Not him.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who promises to stamp this out of you. In time.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, in the couple of days after you arrived, commits every ounce of his free time to getting to know you, to understanding what makes you tick, what makes you submissive.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, being the only one in the Compound to understand your culture references outside of this town, having access to sources his Family does not, uses all his knowledge to create an image of himself as a relatable, well-adjusted member of society. Both yours, and his.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader can see you’re becoming more comfortable with him the longer he spends in your presence. And he picks up on your body language to know when you want to be left alone, when you want to speak with him, when you’re starting to feel uncomfortable for one reason or another, and acts accordingly.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when you start to ask if you’ll be able to leave soon, knows what must be done.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader understands that, to create the perfect disciple, one must first give them the illusion of choice, and the illusion that, when given the chance to leave, they are making the right choice by deciding to stay.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader no longer accosts you when you go to leave the house anymore, instead feeding into your little fantasy that “You’re looking a lot healthier now ! I think you’re almost fully healed.” Even getting the doctor to confirm his false pleasantry musings.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, from the top floor of his sprawling manor, watches you interact with his Family. You’re so easy to track even without his assigned Protectors following you. You stick out with your mannerisms, your smile fresh and not derived from worship of him, but a million other things running through your mind.
♡ You’re a challenge. Oddly resilient to his attempts to charm you as not to want to spend every waking second in his presence as his disciples do. Then again, you’re much more strong-willed than them. Have something to live for.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, despite his goal of initiating as many people into his Family as he can, can’t deny that the more he knows about you – what little information you divulge to this perfect stranger – he feels…drawn to you. In the same way his disciples are to him.
♡ This, he cannot allow. Though he does humour this schoolboy feeling of his interest piquing, his heart fluttering whenever you laugh at his jokes, or relay something to him he never knew before.
♡ Sure, maybe he’s only known you for about a week at this point, but he knows potential when he sees it.
♡ And he’s seen it in you.
♡ Now it’s just a case of getting you – and it – to conform to his will.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, just like whenever he’s feeling overwhelmed or needs to dispel energy of a most nefarious nature, beds his willing disciples – those he knows will not say no, who will gladly take his seed, those who will bear him the fruits of his labour.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader lives for validation, and he’s essentially created his own serotonin farm to stroke his ego whenever he feels it deflating.
♡ And nothing makes Yandere Cult Leader’s ego swell more than seeing the women of his town with his children, knowing that they shall be his successors, the ones to continue his legacy, or fall into his personal army if they are too weak in the mind to take up his mantle.
♡ And that, he knows, is the root of all power. His power, at least.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when he realises that people will start looking for you soon, decides to take matters into his own hands. He won’t let anyone take you from him. Not when there’s still so much he has to show you – to teach you.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who fabricates your demise – an unfortunate car accident – sacrificing one of his family collective to take your place in the car, similar to you in every aspect in your physicality; your hair colour, your height, your eyes. And the parts that can’t be faked – moles, tattoos, patches – he has his associates cover up with a fire sparked when the oil leaked into the car engine.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, in the meantime, starts thinking of ways to keep you inside – to stop you from seeing anyone else besides him, from potentially escaping.
♡ That, and he underestimated your likeability, noticing his disciples beginning to take to you with something akin to haste. Something akin to that which he felt for you.
♡ Attraction.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who sees this liking displayed when everyone is gathered in the hall for his talks, wherein he sees the odd person or two talking with you during his speeches. Something unheard of – straight-up forbidden – until now.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader decides not to punish you for this transgression. After all, you’re new ! You don’t know how everything works here (he’s made sure of that). But the initiator…
♡ Yandere Cult Leader makes sure they learn their lesson – a little etiquette in obedience. And you won’t be seeing them again for a while.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader doesn’t just see you as a distraction for himself anymore, but a potential weapon against his power.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader isn’t stupid. On the contrary, he’s entirely lucid and knows exactly what you’d call his little establishment. A cult. A blasphemy of heretics.
♡ And he can’t have you blabbing your mouth – as much as he loves hearing you tell him stories – to the wrong people. Or realising what you’ve been roped into.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader takes your health into his hands and begins adding a secret ingredient to your meals. One which is tasteless, scentless, yet weakens you with each passing day.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, now having the excuse to do so, rarely lets you out of the house (not that you can leave, anyway) insisting that you aren’t well enough to do so.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader makes sure he’s your main source of care and entertainment during your time of declining health.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader uses your weakened, bed-ridden state to feed you more glorious tales of his philanthropy and godliness. And you, with little else to do – little else you can do – listen. And believe.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, as the weeks go on, can see that the defiance in your eyes, the initial hesitation and wariness you displayed in your first days here, is starting to fade, along with any fight or hope you have of ever leaving this place.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader feels his heart clamour when you request his presence, an associate of his coming to retrieve him from his office on the rare day he isn’t there to care for you himself.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, when he can see you’re particularly pained, looks over his shoulder and, as if he’s letting you in on a secret, flashes you a smile.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader calls you his “Special little Lamb. My Saint,” and gets up, locking the bedroom door, returning to your bedside.
♡ His hand slips beneath the bed sheets, finding your thigh. First, with reassurance. Then, with something else. Hunger. Promise.
♡ And you, in your state of delirium, either cannot or choose not to resist as his hand travels further beneath your night shirt, creeping ever closer to your epicentre. All the while, he’s crawling on top of you, an archway to another world. A cage.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader tells you to “Keep quiet. We don’t want the others getting jealous now.”
♡ And all the while, as he’s taking care of you, making you gasp, too feeble to even make a sound, he tells you how he thinks “The Gods will heal you, if only you acknowledged them.” His gaze turns hard. There is no humour, no levity, within him. “Join them.”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, one evening, when he’s at your bedside, after months of his attempts to break you, feels his heart soar when you tell him you “Want to become part of the Family.”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader can’t tell if he’s eventually gotten through to you, either with his promises of restoration or his nights of gratification, but he sees your conformity as loyalty. Finally.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, seeing that he has you in his iron grip, ceases his poisoning and begins work on your ascension. Immediately.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, as your condition begins to improve, tells you that you are to become his ‘special assistant’ – an occupation everyone in his town would kill and die for.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader whose articulation of what ‘special assistant’ means comes in the form of a collar.
♡ And not just any collar. A shock collar. 
♡ Not that you know this. Yet.
♡ yandere Cult Leader who, when you’re able to stand, move, and even participate in everyday activities, has your ‘coronation’ organised. A celebration (and display of ownership_ of you and all that you will be bringing to the Family.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who watches everyone’s reactions carefully, picking out those who showed doubt, even a sliver, and those who seemed overly-accepting of your presence.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, that night, as you went to go to your room, pulled you into his, locking the door behind him.
♡ “An assistant as special as yourself can’t be expected to sleep all by their lonesome,” he tells you, his hand on yours. Iron.
♡ “Not when it’s my job to serve you.”
♡ Yandere Cult Leader is a master manipulator. A lucid one at that. Though, his narcissism clouds his sense of self.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who, that night, takes you for the first time, deeming it to be the claiming ceremony’ – one which has been a tradition since the inception of the Association.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader convinces you that this is the right thing to do, regardless of how much you want to do it.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader who doesn’t stop until he sees every ounce of resistance leave your eyes, and not just towards his advances. Extending far beyond tonight – into the rest of your life as you come to accept that this is your fate, one spent with a demon in a  god’s clothing.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader uses sexual gratification as a motivator (or punishment) depending on your behaviour.
♡ If you do something that displeases him, that risks making him lose face if only for a second, he can be vile. Promising the most promiscuously torturous and painful outcomes should you defy his word again.
♡ Such motivators of these punishments can be as simple as wanting to take a walk outside the Compound, asking him a question about the Uncaring Outside, or not doing what he asks of you immediately after he’s told you what he wants.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader is most unkind when he is displeased. And he’ll let you know how easily replaceable you are, how quickly he can find a willing body to take your place in his bed at a moment’s notice.
♡ And you know he’s right. That’s why you obey like you do, why you take the slings and arrows your existence is heir to now, why you plead and beg and cry that you’d “Do better next time ! Please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry–”
♡ However, if you have displayed good behaviour, he’ll call you by any name you want to hear – “Sweetheart”, “Darling”, “Angel” – anything that reinforces your perceived importance to the Cult Leader.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader has you glued to his side forevermore. Anyone who tries tot ake you from him is deftly dealt with. Which is why you never see the people who’ve come searching for you, who stumbled upon the leader’s human enclosure as you had. Albeit with less guidance from the Leader.
♡ Yandere Cult Leader promises you that “Nobody out There loves you as much as I do. If they did, they’d have come to join you, wouldn’t they ?”
♡ God forbid if you disagree. The Leader didn’t groom you to be opinionated; he tamed you into his pet.
♡ And if you ever want a fighting chance of escaping this place alive, you have to make him believe that you’re dedicated to nothing but him.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
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stark-raving-romantic · 8 months
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Since we all agree the Harry Potter is NOT it...here's a fun poll! These are just my picks but if you feel that I've neglected one, tell me and I'll make another poll, the winners can face off or something.
Please reblog to break containment!
Pride and Prejudice: It is a truth universally acknowledged , that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
Northanger Abbey: No one who had ever seen Catherine Morland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be a heroine.
Anne of Green Gables: Mrs. Rachel Lynde lived just where the Avonlea main road dipped down into a little hollow, fringed with alders and ladies' eardrops and traversed by a brook that had its source away back in the woods of the old Cuthbert place; it was reputed to be an intricate, headlong brook in its earlier course through those woods, with dark secrets of pool and cascade; but by the time it reached Lynde's Hollow it was a quiet, well-conducted little stream, for not even a brook could run past Mrs. Rachel Lynde's door without due regard for decency and decorum; it probably was conscious that Mrs. Rachel was sitting at her window, keeping a sharp eye on everything that passed, from brooks and children up, and that if she noticed anything odd or out of place she would never rest until she had ferreted out the whys and wherefores thereof.
The Graveyard Book: There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife.
Romeo and Juliet:
"Two households, both alike in dignity
 (In fair Verona, where we lay our scene),
 From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
 Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."
Tuck Everlasting: The first week of August hangs at the very top of summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of a Ferris wheel when it pauses in its turning.
Fahrenheit 451: It was a pleasure to burn.
The Hobbit: In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
A Christmas Carol: MARLEY WAS DEAD, to begin with.
The Secret Garden: When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Far Out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Percy Jackson/The Lightning Thief: Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood
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whatthetumblfck · 9 months
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I Was Born Ready
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Summary: You're kidnapped on a mission gone wrong and it only gets worse. You eventually escape, but will Bucky and the team see you the same way?
Word Count: 6517
Warnings: swearing, some injuries, angst, whump
Content: Bucky x reader, Y/N, Avengers, whump, kidnapping. All of my fics are self-indulgent.
Please don't claim my work as your own, but feel free to reblog.
You wiped the sweat from your brow.  As far as you could tell, it had been 5, maybe 6, days since you were taken. You knew what HYDRA were doing. They were trying to break you. You adjusted your legs and shifted your weight in the dark, cramped space.  For the last several hours, you had been locked in some sort of box, just big enough to crouch or sit with crossed legs. It was hot as hell and you’d been sweating profusely, wondering how much longer you would last before passing out from dehydration or dying from heat stroke. But you tried not to worry about it. They will come for you soon. He will come for you. You just need to hang on a little while longer.
               A few more hours had passed, and the heat was suffocating. What little strength you had left was dwindling. You rested your head against the wall of the enclosure and closed your eyes, fighting the nauseating dizziness that threatened to overcome you.  The rattling of chains caught your attention. It seemed like the sound was getting closer. It was then you realized you had drifted- asleep? Unconscious? You weren’t sure, but you fought like hell to focus your attention on what was happening right outside your tiny prison. Suddenly, there was a sharp creak of metal and cool light flooded the box. You squinted your eyes, desperate to see what was going on.
“Get up!” a harsh voice demanded.
Your body shook as you tried to stand, but it was no use. You were too weak and dehydrated.
“GET UP!” they shouted angrily, as if that would provide the strength needed to undo the last several hours of torture.
Instead, your body gave up completely and you slumped inside the box. The next thing you registered was the sensation of a cool breeze on your face and the tops of your feet scraping along concrete as they dragged you by your arms back to your cell.
ONE WEEK EARLIER
“The fuck you mean it’s abandoned?” you whispered.
“I mean, I’m not picking up any heat signatures inside the building,” Sam clarified, adjusting Redwing’s controls just to be sure.
Bucky lowered his chin, smiling to himself. He knew you were always looking forward to a fight.
“All right, until we clear it, we’re going to proceed with caution,” Steve began, “Y/N and Bucky, you’re going to enter the south side of the building. Sam and I will cover the north entrance. Position Redwing on the east to detect movement from the access road. Once it’s clear, we set the charges and evacuate.”
You stole a sideways glance at Bucky and tried to hide your excited smile. You loved working with Bucky; you consider him to be your best friend. You felt like there might even be more there too. But you never pushed him. If being friends was all he wanted, then you would be happy with that.  Bucky was mostly quiet and reserved, but sometimes he would open up to you, tell you about his life before the war. Sometimes, but very rarely, he would reveal the horrors HYDRA inflicted upon him. You couldn’t respond; only listen in sickened contempt. Your hatred for them became personal because of what they put him through, but you also began to piece together how they operate, their torture methods, and their twisted thought processes. You filed away this information little by little, to use against them and one day, take them down. It became your personal mission, why you were so eager to take on HYDRA related missions, and so disappointed when they turned out to be flops.
Your thoughts were interrupted by an elbow gently nudging your arm. “You ready?” Bucky said as your eyes met his.
“I was born ready,” you replied, smugly.
Bucky smiled at your enthusiasm, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was tired of fighting, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to watch HYDRA burn to the ground. Having you fight beside him, though, was a double-edged sword. He enjoyed your company more than he let on, but he also worried for your safety.  He always asked Steve to pair you two together as much as possible on missions (so he could keep an eye on you), and he always received a knowing look in return. You were one of the best fighters Bucky had ever seen, but you could also be impulsive. Most of the time, you managed to compensate for this flaw and come out on top in the fight, but there have been quite a few close calls. Too close for Bucky’s comfort, even if you insisted you had everything under control.
“After you then,” Bucky said, gesturing to the south entrance.
“Such a gentleman,” you flirted, even though your tone was a bit condescending. You didn’t miss the fact that Bucky liked to keep an eye on you. It was obvious, the way he stuck by your side for every mission. It was sweet, but completely unnecessary.
Entering the building was uneventful. As you looked around, you took note of all the dust and debris, the result of what must have been years of no use. Maybe Sam was right, it must be abandoned. What a waste of time. You continued your sweep, clearing each derelict room.
“Second and third floors are clear,” Sam’s voice sounded in your comm.
“Well, aren’t you an over-achiever?” you responded mockingly.
“Y/N, Buck. What’s your status?” Steve asked, attempting to maintain professionalism on the mission. Captain Steve didn’t know how to have fun. Killjoy.
“First floor is clear, heading to the basement now,” Bucky reported, shooting you a ‘behave yourself’ look. You stuck your tongue out at him and ran for the stairwell.
“Y/N, wait!”
“Come on! There’s nothing here. Let’s clear this moldy-ass basement so we can blow it up and get home. I’m starving!” you announced.
Bucky caught up with you and roughly grabbed your elbow to pull you back.
“We need to be careful. This is HYDRA we’re dealing with. You need to take this seriously.”
You ripped your arm from his grasp, offended he would be so rough with you. “This isn’t HYDRA. This isn’t anything. There’s literally nothing here.”
Bucky schooled his expression. He didn’t want to be angry with you, but your recklessness could put everyone in danger. He let out a frustrated sigh, putting his hands on your shoulders and lowering his head to look into your eyes.
“Will you please be more careful? For me?”
You were momentarily stunned by the soft cadence of his voice. But quickly regathered your thoughts.
“Bucky, I am being careful. You need to lighten up.” You shrugged out of his grasp and turned back to the stairwell.
What is with everyone today? The super-soldiers are being super-serious. Even Sam seems like a stick in the mud, definitely not his usual, talkative self. Did you do something to offend them? You thought about the events of the last few days and couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary. Definitely nothing that would explain what everyone’s problem is.
You glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky a few paces behind you as you descended the last of the stairs and reached the basement.
“Well, I didn’t think it was possible, but this looks even more abandoned than the first floor,” you said giving Bucky a pointed look.
“Just keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.” Bucky gently brushed past you to take the lead, advancing down the corridor. He had an uneasy feeling he just couldn’t shake.
“Suspicious?” you remarked sarcastically. “This whole mission is suspicious. What are we fighting here? The cobwebs? The ridiculous amount of dust?” You pushed past Bucky to take the lead again, but when you glanced back, you realized he had stopped. He was looking at you with wide eyes; his expression, one you didn’t recognize.  
“What? What is it?” you asked, concern growing in the pit of your stomach.
“You’re right. Nothing about this is right. There’s too much dust. Our source indicated there was activity here less than a year ago. It shouldn’t look like this.”
You looked around nervously. “Maybe the source was wrong.”
“Not likely…”
Unexpected static in the comms made you jump. You could hear Steve’s voice, but it kept breaking up and you couldn’t understand what he was saying until you made something out very clearly that made your blood run cold.
Pull back……’s a trap…--t out…ABORT!
Your eyes locked with Bucky’s. You froze. He was standing about 10 feet from you when you both registered a rapid clicking noise, like a sped-up clock.
“RUN!!” You heard him yell just before the explosion.
The wall behind you erupted, sending you several yards through the air until you collided with the ground. You could feel the heat and unbearable pressure on your back as you lay prone in the ruins. Dust swirled around you. After several moments of trying to remember how to breathe again and process what the hell had just happened, you remembered that Bucky was with you. You glanced over in his direction, but all you could see was a literal wall of rubble, fire, and smoke. You struggled to focus your eyes, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that were forming. Damn, that hurt.
Distantly, you could hear someone calling your name.
“Buck--,” your voice was cut off by a coughing fit as the dust invaded your lungs. “Bucky…” you tried again.
“Y/N?” he sounded closer. You could hear movement, crumbling concrete. “Are you hurt?”
It was at this point, you realized you should probably take a moment to figure out the damage.
“Y/N??” his voice sounded more concerned, more urgent. You weren’t sure how long you had taken to respond.
“Uhh…I….I think I’m okay……I can’t move. I think…ahh…there’s something on my back,” you choked out.
“You’re gonna be okay. We’re coming to get you. Just..hang on, okay? Hang on.”
Hearing this made you relax. Getting blown up was exhausting. You were certain you were going to hear about this later. About how you should have listened to Bucky, been more careful, taken the mission more seriously. You closed your eyes, trying to reserve your strength. You would need it to climb out of this burning hole in the ground.
After a few minutes, you felt the pressure on your back lessen. That was fast. You opened your eyes and tried to focus on Bucky’s face, but then you heard his voice from behind the burning wall of concrete. Confused, you concentrated your attention on the blurry figure standing before you. HYDRA. You gathered all your strength, trying to fight, but you couldn’t get a single hit in before a blow to your face rendered you unconscious.
Bucky heard footsteps and scraping rocks on the other side of the barrier. He had finally managed to make a dent in the rubble just large enough to see through. To see you being dragged away by HYDRA.
“NOOOO!” Bucky frantically slammed his metal fist into the rubble, trying to break through, but it was no use. He couldn’t get to you in time. He watched as you disappeared into the dust and smoke.
You were freezing. Another week had passed, maybe two. You weren’t sure. It was the same thing. Over and over.  Freezing to the point you couldn’t move or think. Then they would throw you in the box again until you passed out from the heat. You didn’t even know what they wanted. They didn’t ask you anything, barely said three words to you. Wouldn’t answer any of your questions. How the hell did they expect to get information out of you if they didn’t fucking ask you anything? Idiots. You’d be glad to give them as much false information as you could muster.
You were frustrated. Frustrated with this pointless torture and frustrated that no one had broken you out of this shithole yet. What was taking so long?
The next day was new. This time a man in a lab coat came into your cell. Based on the history of everything you have come to know about HYDRA, the lab coat is not a good sign.  He peered down at you where you sat against the cold, concrete wall.
“She’s ready,” he practically drooled with excitement. Disgusting.
Two oversized goons entered your cell and brought you to your feet as another ganglier looking goon wheeled in a stretcher. Your stomach dropped. Not good. This is not good. You tried not to let anxiety and fear get the best of you. You’ve endured the heat, the cold, the physical pain and the repulsive goop they fed you, but this was new, and you had no idea what they had planned.
“No. No no no. What are you doing?” You kicked and fought weakly as they strapped you down. You were unable to move.
Lab coat leaned in close to your face. You could smell the wicked stench rolling out of his mouth.
He simply answered, “Phase two.”
……..
“What do you want? You’ve been torturing me for weeks and haven’t asked me a damn thing! Do you even know how this works? No? Must have missed that day in torture 101.”
The lab coat stopped what he was doing and turned to face you. Amusement and almost pity plastered on his face.
“My dear. I haven’t been torturing you. I’ve been preparing you.”
…………
The first injection must have been a sedative and, for that, you were thankful. Your vision became blurry and all your muscles relaxed at once. You could’ve almost fallen asleep. Until the second injection. At first, it was cold, like ice running through your veins. Starting in your arm and flowing through your chest before settling in the rest of your limbs. It was enough to make you shiver and shake uncontrollably. With the last injection came the unbearable heat. It spread through you like wildfire, burning through the sedative and blistering your nerves. It coursed through your body, the agonizing flames filling your skull, threatening to split it open. It was too much. Unbearable. You thrashed your arms and legs beneath the restraints, screaming until you went hoarse. Nothing you did relieved the pain, the burning.  You were left alone in your misery, knowing nothing but the searing pain in your head, threatening to end your life. You hoped it would.
Then, it stopped. You thought maybe death had finally taken you and you felt sadness, for Bucky. For the team. But you were back in your cell. This couldn’t be death. Death isn’t this cruel.
You rolled on your side and slowly sat upright, fighting off the dizziness. You felt horrible, like you should be dead, but at least the pain had subsided. You experimentally staggered to the door of your cell and peered through the slot. It was eerily silent. Still, you waited to see if anyone approached. They almost always did when you awoke to send you for another round of torture…or wait. What did he say? They were preparing you..for what? The injections, ice and fire, the pain, all came flooding back to you. What did they do? Your breaths came faster. You had to get out of there. Fear and panic were in control now. You pushed and pulled at the door feverishly, and to your surprise, the door opened. Worried this was another trap, you stepped back, but no one came. What the fuck?
You left your cell and made your way down the hallway, searching for the exit or at the very least, a weapon. The building was completely cleaned out. They left you there, their experiment. Did they think you were dead? Or just a failure? You didn’t feel any different. Those HYDRA morons must have been bigger fucking idiots than you gave them credit for. Still, you weren’t going to stick around. When you finally made it out of the building, you realized you actually recognized the area. You weren’t that far from the compound. It made you sick to think you were only 10 or so miles from home this whole time, and still, they couldn’t find you. HYDRA could have practically walked up and rang the front doorbell, and the team would have had no idea.
It was cold outside and you were dressed only in a thin gown. You walked for hours, determined to make it home. You had no way of contacting anyone. You were surrounded by a few trees and fields of nothing. The final yards leading up to the compound were grueling. You were exhausted. Your feet bled and your legs shook with the effort.
It was early evening, you guessed, when you painfully stumbled into the common room, where Steve, Bucky and Sam all sat, attention focused on various maps and blueprints laid out before them. Steve saw you first, eyes staring and mouth hanging open. It would have been humorous had you not just been through hell and back. Bucky stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Steve’s expression and turned his head to see what Steve was staring at.
“Y/N??” Bucky couldn’t believe it. His eyes ran over your battered form, watching your whole body shake with fatigue.
You didn’t know what to say. You tried to choke back the tears that were now streaming down your face.
But this was all you could handle. You were suddenly dizzy, the room had started to spin and you dropped to your knees as Bucky ran towards you.
“Oh God! Call Dr. Cho!” Bucky ordered, but Sam was already on it.
You collapsed into Bucky’s arms and saw Steve running toward you. Bucky’s alarmed face was the last thing you saw before your eyes involuntarily closed.
When you awoke the next day, you were alone in the med bay. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, trying to force out the lingering headache. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and were about to remove your IV when Bucky walked into your room.
“Hey, you’re awake,” he said as he approached you cautiously. “How are you feeling?”
“Um..really..hungover,” you cracked a smile trying to break the tension. “How long was I out?”
Bucky looked at his watch before responding, “About 23 hours.”
“Oh shit. New record.”
Bucky looked nervous. “We looked everywhere..”
“Not everywhere,” you retorted, sounding more bitter than you intended.
“I didn’t think I was going to see you again.”
“Well…that makes two of us.” Your eyes stayed trained on the floor. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You spent weeks dreaming about seeing him again, and now you couldn’t even look at him. Why? Were you that angry that they couldn’t find you? They were obviously looking.
Bucky sensed that maybe this wasn’t the best time to broach the subject, so he changed it.
“So..uh…they want to do a debriefing on what happened as soon as you’re feeling well enough.”
You faltered. You didn’t want to talk about it, relive it. Especially so soon. But you’d rather get it over with so you can move on with your life. Put the whole ordeal behind you.
You looked down at the IV in your arm before ripping it out, the blood beginning to trickle down to your palm.
“Doll—what are you doing?” Bucky lunged toward you, grabbing gauze off the bedside table to apply pressure to the site.
You grabbed the gauze and took over applying pressure.
“I’m about to change my clothes,” you began glancing around the room before finding some in a bag below the bed, “so unless you want to see me naked, you can turn around.”
Bucky paused, mouth opening slightly before regaining his composure and turning to face away from you. You caught him off guard, which is honestly, something you’ve never seen happen.
You were a little disappointed. Maybe you’d been reading him wrong, and he doesn’t see you that way. Or maybe he’s just being a gentleman. This isn’t exactly the best time to explore your feelings for one another. Still, it stung.
………………………..
You sat at the table, nervously glancing at all the faces in the room. Fury, Tony, Steve, and Sam all had their eyes on you. Everyone except Bucky. He stood in the corner, holding his gaze to the floor.  He looked more nervous than you felt. Weird.
They asked their usual questions, and you answered as best you could. But you didn’t feel comfortable enough to go into extensive detail. You trusted these men with your life, but it was starting to feel less like a debriefing and more like an interrogation.
“…and you’re sure that’s all you remember?” Fury asked again.
You looked around the room again, each set of eyes seeming frustrated. Expecting more information than what you’ve provided for the last 2 hours. This was exhausting. A familiar headache was building behind your eyes, and you were beyond done with this.
When you didn’t answer right away, Tony asked another question. “They just let you walk away?” You could hear the blatant skepticism.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Tears were starting to fill your eyes. Damnit! This is not how you thought this would go, but you were feeling pressured, overwhelmed. “They tortured me! For weeks! The same damn thing. Over and over and over again! And I don’t know---maybe they thought I was DEAD!” You choked on a sob; tears streaming down your face now.
“Okay! That’s enough!” Bucky interjected, seemingly ending the questioning.
You quickly stood from your seat and rushed out of the room.
They all exchanged glances and Bucky lingered there silently for a moment before following you.
When he reached your room in the compound, he knocked, but you didn’t answer.
“Doll. It’s me. Can I come in?”
Again, you didn’t answer. He could hear your quiet cries. He tried the handle, but you had locked the door.
“Can you unlock the door, please?”
“Go away, Bucky,” you said, softly. You didn’t need to yell. You knew he could hear you.
“Come on. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” With that, he could hear you moving towards the door.
You angrily flung the door open, surprising Bucky and forcing him to take a step back. Your hair was disheveled, eyes red and still wet with tears.
“Do I look fucking okay to you!?!?” Bucky looked into your eyes, not knowing what to say.
“HYDRA imprisoned me, practically in our own fucking backyard and still no one came for me!”
“Y/N, I swear to you, we never stopped looking—”
“And as soon as I fight my way back here, you all grill me for information, like it was my fucking idea to get captured?”
“Doll, no one thinks this was—”
“I waited for—aagh—” the pain in your head suddenly flared. You squeezed your eyes shut and pinched the skin between them. Your discomfort was evident.
“Hey, hey. What is it? What’s wrong?” Bucky’s worried eyes searched your face for answers.
You tried to recover, to push the pain aside.
“I waited for you—AAGH” the pain peaked. The same blistering heat threatening to end you, keeled you over.
With your shaking hands on your knees, you could feel Bucky move to your side. His arms wrapped around your waist to support you.
“Doll, what’s going on? Answer me. Please!”
But you couldn’t answer him. You were back on that stretcher. A prisoner, again. All you knew was the burning pain. Maybe this time, it would spare you the torment and claim your life.
“SOMEBODY HELP! I NEED HELP!” Bucky’s voice sounded far away.
The fire swirled in your skull and bile burned the back of your throat. You lurched forward, fell to your knees, and vomited on the floor. Everything was suddenly black, then nothing.
You awoke once more, alone, in the med bay.  Well, not completely alone. You could hear talking, whispers. Just outside your door.
There’s something she’s not telling me. But I’m not going to try to force answers out of her. She’ll come to me when she’s ready. I’m just going to be her friend. That’s what she really needs right now.
Just a friend? You felt the blanket of disappointment weigh on you again. You were pulled from your thoughts when Bucky opened the door.
You kept your eyes on him as he carefully entered the room.
“Who were you talking to?”
“Huh?”
“Who were you talking to just now?” You tried not to sound like you were accusing him, but you didn’t like being talked about behind your back.
“I wasn’t talking to anyone,” Bucky shook his head, seeming to be genuinely confused.
Great. Now Bucky was lying to you. Some friend he’s trying to be. Even with him literally by your side, you were suddenly feeling very alone. No one trusted you. They think you’re hiding something. Truth be told, you are hiding something. You never told them about the injections, how the torture was actually “preparations”. You even left out the creepy lab guy coat because you were afraid. Afraid if they found out what really happened, that you were an experiment, they wouldn’t look at you the same way. You were afraid you would lose their hard-earned respect, your place on the team. You couldn’t risk it.
“So what happened?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“The pain? Passing out?” Bucky pressed, becoming serious. This felt like an interrogation again.
“Oh…it was just a headache,” you offered. Were you honestly expecting them not to ask?
“That’s bullshit. What happened to you? What did they do?” He seemed desperate and angry and you were becoming more and more guarded.
“I thought you weren’t going to force answers out of me.” You threw his words back in his face.
“What?”
“Nothing”
“What did you say just now?”
You were out of patience and just wanted to be alone. “Nothing. Please leave.”
Bucky stared at you, disbelieving, before turning his back on you and walking out the door.
A single tear slipped down your cheek. What the hell happened? Everything was fine. You were on a mission, business as usual, and then you were captured and tortured. You miraculously make it back home and suddenly, everyone is against you? You didn’t do anything wrong. Why is everyone acting like you’re at fault?  Your thoughts are becoming louder in your head, circling frantically and building tension. You clench your teeth, trying to hold in a scream, but you can feel an energy building inside you. You pull your knees to your chest, struggling to contain it. Your clenched fists pound at your temples. You don’t know what’s happening; you feel out of control, about to spill over. Explode.
Suddenly, you lose control, letting out an ear-piercing scream, releasing a force you had never felt before. All at once, glass bottles and cabinets shatter, the reinforced windows in your room crack. Furniture is thrown chaotically. Everything is broken, in a frightening disarray, and you’re left sitting in the ruins of what once felt like a safe place.
You tried to catch your breath, eyes darting around the room, attempting to make sense of what just happened.
Oh, God. Oh, God.  What did HYDRA do to you? What have you done? You needed to get out of there. Now. You jump to your feet, grab your clothes, and run. You shove past S.H.I.E.L.D. employees in the hallways, their thoughts intruding and overlapping with your own.  It took you a moment to realize what it was, what you were doing: unintentionally hearing their thoughts. You have to get away, get out. It’s too loud. You’re still running when you hear more familiar voices, but these aren’t in your head.
You can hear Bucky, Steve and Sam talking about what they found at the base where you were kept. Empty syringes. Medical equipment. Partially encrypted files describing some kind of experiment. They know—how could they not? Have they known this whole time?
“I don’t know what they did to her. She won’t tell me, but…she’s different.” Bucky spoke quietly.
Different? Is that how he saw you now? Is that why he’d been acting so strangely since you got back?
“Look man,” Sam reasoned, “she’s been through a lot. It would be weird if she wasn’t acting differently.”
“Still, if they did do whatever this experiment is on her, we don’t know what the outcome is…If she’s still herself, or even on our side,” Steve added.
Your heart dropped. You already felt like they didn’t trust you, which was bad enough, but now they’re against you? You waited for Bucky to defend you. He knows you better than anyone, but his silence spoke volumes. You thought Bucky, of all people, would understand what you’d been through. That you would never turn on them. You really were all alone in this. You felt the fear and uncertainty pouring out of the room.
Then, an unfamiliar voice on the intercom startled you.
Code Gray- Med Room 4. Code Gray- Med Room 4.
Shit. That was your room. Then the alarm started blaring and you ran. When did you become the enemy? How did this happen? You’re not part of HYDRA. You’re the victim. You managed to get out of the compound without anyone else seeing you. But you had no idea where to go from there.
Bucky, Steve, and Sam rushed to your med room. They stood there in disbelief, taking in the scene. It looks like a bomb went off.
“What the hell happened?” Sam asked.
“We’re not sure, sir. We, uh, heard a scream and when we got here, the room was empty,” a nurse answered.
“Where is she?” Bucky asked, growing impatient.
“We don’t know, I’m sorry,” the nurse responded before quicky leaving the room.
Steve and Sam exchanged looks. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair.
“Buck….”
“No.”
“We need to consider all the facts, here.”
“No, Steve! She wouldn’t do this. She’s not HYDRA.”
“Dude, she was missing for weeks and then just waltzed through the front door? That doesn’t seem odd to you?” Sam added.
“She didn’t waltz, Sam. She could barely walk, then she collapsed,” Bucky defended.
“So you think they just let her go? When the hell has HYDRA ever just let anybody go?”
“I don’t know.”
“Her story isn’t adding up, Buck.”
“They did something to her, she’s different. I just don’t know why she’d hiding it.”
“What do you mean? What aren’t you telling us?” Steve questioned.
“I think….whatever they did to her, worked. I thought it was a coincidence, at first, but then…this,” he motioned around the room. “I think she could hear what I was thinking earlier, and I think this is part of whatever she’s going through. I think she’s enhanced.”
They all looked around the room, letting Bucky’s theory sink it.
Steve broke the silence. “We need to find her before she hurts someone.”
You were walking against the cold wind and found yourself back at the shithole. You weren’t sure what you were doing there. Looking for answers, maybe? Waiting for them to find you? Like they were supposed to do. Before the injections, before they turned on you, before you lost control. What did they think of you now? You’re certain they must think you’re HYDRA. Fear and despair surged through you, and you started to lose control again. Objects that surrounded you started to rattle and lift into the air, crashing into walls.
You saw movement from the corner of your eye, emotions flaring even further. They had found you. Tears streamed down your cheeks, wetting the front of your sweatshirt.  You had already lost everything. They may as well take you now and put you in whatever floating prison they have. They marked you as guilty the moment you walked back into the compound.
“Y/N? Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Bucky approached you slowly, motioning to Steve and Sam to hang back.
You slowly turned to face him. Finally seeing his face broke you, and you started to cry harder. The cot beside you rattled along with desks and shelves, lifting off the floor, quaking violently, erratically. Bucky held up his hands, gesturing to you that he meant you no harm. And you wanted nothing more than to believe him, to melt into his arms.
As your emotions ran wild with fear and anguish, the chaos around you swelled. You shook your head trying to empty it of the intrusive whispers. You were ready to surrender. You just wanted all this to be over, but when you looked past Bucky to see Steve and Sam in their full Avenger gear, a realization hit you. They were here to fight you. Bucky noticed the change in your demeanor. You felt the energy inside you intensifying again. The building began to tremble.
“Y/N. Y/N! Look at me! You’re going to be okay. We’re here to take you home.” Bucky tried to reason.
“No. NO! You’re here to hurt me. You don’t trust me, think I’m HYDRA!”
“That’s not true. We’re your friends. We want to help you,” Bucky insisted.
“Help me? That’s why you brought Captain America and Falcon with you?!”
You were angry now. If they wanted to take you, it would have to be by force. That’s what they wanted. You looked back over at Bucky and noticed the light reflecting off the tears that gathered in his eyes. You felt like you were about to detonate.
“Sweetheart, please,” Bucky pleaded with you; His hand stretched out towards you, beckoning you to take it.
The building shook even more violently with the release of your emotions. Once again, objects cracked and shattered all around you, but this time, the entire building threatened to come down on top of all of you.
“I can’t. I can’t control it….” You looked to Bucky, desperate for all this to end.
As dust and debris rained from the ceiling, you heard the order.
TAKE HER! NOW!
You whipped your head to the side, catching sight of Redwing; you hadn’t noticed it there before, but it was too late. Two darts struck your neck, delivering a powerful sedative. You swayed on your feet for only a moment before going down hard. All the objects flying around the room, uncontrollably, crashed to the ground at once. The building stood still once again. Whatever they hit you with was strong. You couldn’t move, but yet, you weren’t completely unconscious.  You could faintly hear distorted commotion around you and your eyes felt heavy.
“Jesus Christ, Steve!” Bucky kneeled at your side to brush your hair from your face, wiping your tears in the process.
“I’m sorry, Buck. We had to. You heard her. She couldn’t control it.”
Bucky gently picked you up and held you close to his chest. You could tell he was walking, but your vision was starting to blur even more. Then you felt his breath on your ear as he whispered that you would be okay. You were safe now. They were going to fix this. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to sink into the darkness.
THREE WEEKS LATER
“I don’t want to be a prisoner anymore, Bucky.”
“You’re not a prisoner.”
“Well, I can’t leave. That is the definition of prisoner, right?”
“Bruce thinks he’s close to a cure. He just needs a little more time.”
“You’ve been saying that for 3 weeks.”
Bucky offered you a half-hearted smile, but it was tainted with regret.
You were beginning to doubt their ability to fix you. Where would they even begin? You were just the result of another fucked-up half-assed HYDRA experiment.  They couldn’t cure you any more than they could cure Bucky or Steve of being super-soldiers. You know it. They know it. You just wish they’d stop blowing smoke up your ass.
Just then, Bruce appeared behind the reinforced glass doors, pressing his palm to the scanner to gain access to your room.
He approached your bed with the same half-hearted smile Bucky imparted.
“Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling today?” Bruce began, like he always did when starting his examinations.
“Fine. Normal. How’s the cure coming along?”
He hesitated for a moment, ignoring your question before continuing with his own.
“Any more headaches?”
“No. Not really.”
“Good, good. That’s good.” More hesitation.
“Just spit it out, Bruce.”
“Well, uh..” he fiddled with his clipboard, pretending to review his findings. “We did some genetic profiling and it looks like the experiment has altered your DNA in ways we’ve never seen before. Your brain scans are phenomenal.”
“That’s not exactly comforting….” You knew where this was going, even though you didn’t completely understand the science of it all.
“What does that mean?” Bucky leaned forward in his seat, prompting Dr. Banner to elaborate.
“Well, I’m afraid it means we can’t cure you.”
Bucky leaned back in his chair; the atmosphere in the room deflated. He didn’t even look at you. You knew this was coming but hearing it out loud and seeing Bucky’s dejected reaction only solidified your fears. There is no hope.
Dr. Banner continued, “The good news is that you seem to be adapting and stabilizing well.”
“Yeah, yeah…” You didn’t want to hear anything else. You weren’t even listening. All you can think about is how you’re no longer an Avenger and how Bucky won’t even look at you now. You lost him; your best friend, maybe more. Where do you go from here?
“I just have a few more questions for you,” Dr. Banner began again, “Are you still able to hear the thoughts of others?”
“Yes. But I can mostly block it out. It’s gotten easier.”
Dr. Banner smiled. “And there haven’t been any more incidents….” He held up his pen. “Can you move this towards you, please?”
You looked up from your lap and focused on the pen, gently floating it above the bed until it reached your grasp.
“Amazing…”
You wished Dr. Banner would be a little less enthusiastic. Your life, as you know it, is over and you’re not in the mood for this.
“Okay. I’m releasing you from my care.”
“Wait. What? When?” You stared at him in awe. Is he joking?
“Right now.” He gathered his notes and left the room, door unlocked.
You felt Bucky grasp your hand. His smile was bright as he waited for your thoughts to catch up.
“Come on. We have a mission,” he coaxed.
“I-I don’t understand,” you hesitated. “I didn’t think you wanted---I didn’t think anyone trusted me.”
“Sweetheart, we do trust you…and I’ll always want you. No matter what.” He squeezed your hand a little tighter. “We found the shitbags that took you…you ready to kick some ass?”
Your eyes lit up with excitement and determination. “I was born ready.”
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