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#pride and prejudice
darthmelyanna · 32 minutes ago
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Courtney Milan was invited to write a review of Pride and Prejudice from a legal perspective. It is as glorious as you would imagine, including a conclusion about the American federal court system — a system in which she was a clerk for a serial sexual harasser — that pulls no punches.
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stemacademia · 40 minutes ago
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Darcy is so funny, like, he's honestly such a funny character. So socially awkward it's a scandal wherever he goes. Me too Darcy, me too
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samduqs · 50 minutes ago
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I only want to lay on the grass, sunbathing, while I read pride and prejudice and drink some sweet coffee without any concerns
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imagine-loki · an hour ago
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Pride and Prejudice
TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 68 AUTHOR: wolfpawn
ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: I am so sorry things have been so silent on this. I am after finishing Hiding in Plain Sight and am trying to get several chapters ahead on this, thankfully, I have sorted a lot of my writing issues so I am hoping to do as I did with Hiding and get this done in the near future. Enjoy.
Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901
Loki watched Ella resting. It took a few days for their rooms to feel right again. In their absence, their scent had dulled and it did not feel entirely right on their return, but with Ella spending some time reorganising things and their nights of rest allowing their scents to seep into their pelts and sheets, it began to feel right once more. So much so, Loki realised that Ella’s meticulousness to certain details and her obsessing over particular issues were indicating to her nesting, and heavily so. By rights, the infant was not due for another two months or so, but her actions indicated there was a chance their son could arrive earlier. He worried as she continued to grow and yet their son was not yet born.
He was caught in the uncertainty of what to do. She was too heavily pregnant to be standing for hours in court to deal with matters but he also did not like that she was alone in their quarters for long times either. He had told her to contact him if she felt the baby was coming but he also knew that if she felt there was an issue of importance in the court, she would not interrupt meaning he feared that she would say nothing and he would miss his son’s birth or not assist her as she would require. This led to him not giving his all in court.
“Loki?”
Loki swung his head around, unsure of who called him. “Arden, I am in a hurry, what is it?”
“I said nothing, My King.” The advisor looked at him worriedly. “Your father did.”
Loki had not realised that his father was present and turned to find him. “Father?”
“You are restless, my son.”
“I have a lot to deal with, Father, what is the issue?”
“For me, nothing, for you, however, many things, it would seem.”
Loki sighed. “Father, I mean no disrespect but I am in no mood for cryptic conversations, what can I do for you?”
Laufey chuckled. “You know, it is the dam that is supposed to become restless and anxious as the birth approaches, not the sire.”
“I suppose you were composed at our births?”
“At the births, yes. I needed to be because your mother and Faurbauti needed me to be. Before them, however, I was quite angsty but I could not let that show either. Your head is not in the throne room most days now, or your heart, it would seem.”
Loki chewed on his lip slightly. “My mate is restless, she is pacing a lot and our son seems to have taken on the male Aesir side of his heritage’s size while his dam is more slight. When I try to speak with her on this matter, I am told to cease worrying, that she feels entirely fine yet her stomach still grows and she still cites she is unbothered, so I have a lot to be dealing with now.”
Arden and Laufey looked at one another with a level of understanding after his outburst. With a small bow, Arden took his leave leaving the father and son alone to speak.
“Come, Loki.” Laufey urged.
“Father, I just want to go back to Ella.”
“You will, soon, but for now, you need to come with me.” His father urged.
Loki went to argue again but his father stumbled slightly which caused him to rush to his side to assist him. Gently, he brought his father back to his rooms, wishing Ella was there to make it easier for his father, or perhaps save him the embarrassment of having to depend on his son to assist him.
Sitting his father in his usual chair, Loki checked over him. “Are you alright?”
Laufey inhaled deeply as he steadied his breathing. “I am fine, just old.” He could see his son was uncertain. “Loki, I can see the reasoning for your concern. I remember facing that behemoth of an Aesir called her sire for the first time. I see how big she has grown with your child and I know she takes more after her dam but I really think you to be concerning yourself with the wrong issues through this.” Loki glared at him. “I truly do. Ella is not concerned about such and she is the being forced to do it, so why do you fear it so greatly?”
Loki said nothing in response.
“Speak, my son, please. Tell me what ails you as you have done since…” Laufey looked down at his hands. “Norns, I remember the first time you came to me with your woes. Your toy broke and you felt so heartbroken, it was your favourite.” He chuckled. “To you, the world was ending, but one moment of ice later…” Laufey swirled his hand and a figurine of ice came to be formed on it. “And it was fixed again. You realised then that what may seem terrible is not always so.”
Loki did not know what to say to that. He could not recall such a menial situation and when his father mentioned his woes, he thought he would refer to one of significance, not that of his issues as a child. “I want my son but what if it costs me my mate?”
“Why would it? I know you mentioned their proportions but do you trust her so little?” Laufey challenged. “Norns, you think something as natural and ordinary as childbirth will phase her? I have little doubt you will be holding your son as she walks around the room because something irks her mere moments after the birth because genuinely, I see no issue for her. Females are more capable than you give them credit for, my son. But I understand some bit also. I recall when Nal revealed she was carrying you. This albeit not as slight Vanir, carrying a half Jotnar, I thought it would be dangerous but she had no issue. Faurbauti was indignant that she suffered more with Býleistr and later she commented on Helbindi too than your dam did you and you were born big to a Vanir.”
Loki paused. “I forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“That my dam…”
“Nal was not Jotnar either. Look at the Allmother, she is not burly of build and she birthed that son of theirs, no issue from what we were all told,” Laufey assured him. “When done safely, there is no issue with childbirth and I refuse to believe a woman who prepares for everything as your mate does would leave such an important thing to chance.”
Loki could not argue such a statement. He knew Ella planned for every eventuality all the time, so he knew the birth of their son would not be the time for her to cease being so meticulous. “I just wish this part was not so concerning.”
Laufey chuckled. “You spent a great portion of this event not even aware she was carrying and her gestational period is far shorter than that of a Jotnar, you have the least waiting of all Jotnar to do.”
“Yet I fret nonetheless.”
“You are a sire, you will always fret. He is not only your son but the heir to Jotunheim. That is a lot of pressure for you to carry as a sire.”
Loki had not even thought of his son being the heir to Jotunheim, he only could think of him being his son. He did not want to pressure his child into the future, especially if he and Ella were fortunate to have more children, he knew then that telling his son that he would be heir to Jotunheim then perhaps having a better-suited son would do no favours for him. Just as his father had done, he would remain silent on the matter until a clear candidate for the role became apparent between his children. Thinking in such a manner caused Loki to smile a little bit. A few sons, as his father had, perhaps a daughter or two also, living in their rooms before being old enough for their own, a pleasant and wanted idea for him. He loved the idea of Ella teaching them her seidr, smiling encouragingly at them as she did, making comments on how their father was of little or no use for his inabilities, or perhaps her trying to feign anger at mischief when she was nothing short of a terror going by what her brother and she herself had informed him. Loki found himself looking at his father who in turn, was looking somewhat concerned at him. “Sorry, Father?”
“Something has sidetracked you?”
“Images, of a life yet lived.”
“Do not spend your life wishing it away, my son. You have so much to live for here in the present.”
“It was more of an image of life to come.”
“Soon, he will be here and will be yearning for the rest of the life you have lived,” Laufey joked.
“So I have been warned. If it’s alright with you, Father, I will go back to my mate now. She gets restless after a time. I think she feels almost as she did before I had the sense to treat her right if she is left alone too long. She misses Greta’s company so she feels alone a lot so I do not wish to make her think she is alone, for fear of inciting previous worries. The last thing needed is for her seidr attacking her again. I could not face it and I would be frightened that it could see our son as a risk.”
“That is a wise decision.” Laufey nodded, rising from his chair with ease. “Go tend to your mate.”
Loki nodded and turned to leave, but after a moment, he froze and turned again to face his father suspiciously.
Laufey looked at his son in concern. “Loki?”
“You rose from your chair with no issue?” Loki pointed out.
“Right?”
Loki’s eyes widened. “Really? Feigning sickness to get me to bring you here without question because of how concerned I was. Those are the tactics you wish to employ?”
“You needed to speak your mind and I could see nothing else working.” Laufey shrugged his shoulders with little remorse to be seen in his features. “I will move the realms to ensure you are of the greatest of health, physical and otherwise, Loki, even if it makes me seem weak.”
“Why would you do such a foolish thing?”
“Because parents do such things for their children in our world. Look at the Allfather, he let his image be weakened by allowing us all to see Ella disobey his demands to return to Asgard in full view of the Jotnar to show her willingness to be here, then giving her Gungnir, when clearly without it, he is far weaker, to show her strength here, and to show our realm’s strength and Asgard’s perceived trust in the union between you both.”
Loki recalled Odin explaining what he had allowed to occur when he was adamant about bringing his daughter back to Asgard after her illness. He also had thought to himself that giving Ella Gungnir was peculiar, especially since he would now have a walking stick in its place, showing his fragility in older age, something Loki was sure no King would want to be seen as but he also knew there were many on Jotunheim that questioned both Ella’s loyalty and strength, even after the feats she had shown before both on Jotunheim and other realms. He knew Odin held little worth in daughters, even with loving his own in his own obscure way, so to allow himself seem weak to strengthen her and indeed Jotunheim’s position was notable.
“What will you do for your own son?”
“Everything and anything.” Loki did not even wait a moment before answering his father’s question.
“As I would, you,” Laufey declared. “So go to your mate, tend to her needs and settle your own worries and you will better be able to focus your attention on Court after.”
“Thank you, Father, for your excellent counsel. As usual.” Loki smiled at his father before rushing through the glacial halls of the ice palace to his own rooms. Inside, he looked around, unsurprised at what welcomed him. “Dare I ask?”
“Nothing is right.”
“So it would seem.” Loki walked over to his mate who had rearranged the room several different ways going by the frustration on her face. “What do you need?” He knew better than to rubbish her thoughts and efforts. He knew she was in a frenzy of nesting and even if he would attempt such futility, he knew that she could not be reasoned with. In his own thoughts, Loki suspected that Ella had tried reasoning with herself as to why it did not matter which way the bed faced, but as far as her instincts were concerned, anything short of perfect was chaos.
“Him out of me and this room organised.”
Loki chuckled slightly and placed an arm around her rotund stomach. “He will not be there much longer and I asked specifically so I could assist with the room.”
“I have put this bed in eight different positions but every time I change it, I feel even more vulnerable in here.”
Loki looked at the room in an assessing manner. “The reason I chose to put the bed in that position was because you were coming. Before that, it was over here.” He indicated to the corner of the room where the bed once stood. “It felt…” He did not get to say anymore before the items that were in that corner were gone and the bed replaced them. “It does not have a clear sight of the doorway for the most of it.”
“Yes, it’s shielded, which is why it’s perfect.” The sheer relief in Ella’s voice was noticeable.
Looking at it all as she was seeing it, Loki realised that in the event of an attack, Ella and the baby would be shielded from the door and the manner in which she placed the stand for Gungnir next to the side she would take, he came to understand her logic. Their son would not suffer an attack immediately. Even he felt relief at such a thought, as terrible the idea of them being attacked in their home was, the idea of their son being safe and Ella having a moment to reach for Gungnir to protect them safely made him feel better. “What else?”
Within a few minutes, the entire room was rearranged as Ella wished for it to be and she was satisfied. Though for how long that would last, Loki was uncertain.
“Will you rest now?” Loki urged.
“Fine.” Ella walked over to the bed. “Will you come over too?”
Loki could hear the pleading in her voice, he knew she was even more restless when he was not around her. As the time for the baby to arrive drew closer, she hated him being away from her with just as much intensity as he hated being away from her. He walked over and lay back on the bed, urging her to lay beside him. “Rest for now. We won’t have time for such soon.”
“What happened in court today?”
“Nothing of importance. Just the usual mundanity.” He dismissed. It was true, nothing of any substance had arisen there.
Ella said nothing in return, instead, she just relaxed beside him contently.
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asphodelmeadowss · 3 hours ago
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besties i'm dying of embarrassment 😭 i did a presentation on pride and prejudice in class today and accidentally said that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of YOUR wife
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guulabii · 4 hours ago
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sound on for maximised satisfaction
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wolfpawn · 5 hours ago
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Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 68
Story Summary - Based on an idea I had that I submitted to Imagine Loki. Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.
Chapter Summary - Loki juggles the issues of court and his concerns for the imminent arrival of his son badly, leading Laufey to interfere, by whatever means necessary to get his son to see what he needs to see.
Previous Chapter
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NOTES - I am so sorry things have been so silent on this. I am after finishing Hiding in Plain Sight and am trying to get several chapters ahead on this, thankfully, I have sorted a lot of my writing issues so I am hoping to do as I did with Hiding and get this done in the near future. Enjoy.
Loki watched Ella resting. It took a few days for their rooms to feel right again. In their absence, their scent had dulled and it did not feel entirely right on their return, but with Ella spending some time reorganising things and their nights of rest allowing their scents to seep into their pelts and sheets, it began to feel right once more. So much so, Loki realised that Ella’s meticulousness to certain details and her obsessing over particular issues were indicating to her nesting, and heavily so. By rights, the infant was not due for another two months or so, but her actions indicated there was a chance their son could arrive earlier. He worried as she continued to grow and yet their son was not yet born.
He was caught in the uncertainty of what to do. She was too heavily pregnant to be standing for hours in court to deal with matters but he also did not like that she was alone in their quarters for long times either. He had told her to contact him if she felt the baby was coming but he also knew that if she felt there was an issue of importance in the court, she would not interrupt meaning he feared that she would say nothing and he would miss his son’s birth or not assist her as she would require. This led to him not giving his all in court.
“Loki?”
Loki swung his head around, unsure of who called him. “Arden, I am in a hurry, what is it?”
“I said nothing, My King.” The advisor looked at him worriedly. “Your father did.”
Loki had not realised that his father was present and turned to find him. “Father?”
“You are restless, my son.”
“I have a lot to deal with, Father, what is the issue?”
“For me, nothing, for you, however, many things, it would seem.”
Loki sighed. “Father, I mean no disrespect but I am in no mood for cryptic conversations, what can I do for you?”
Laufey chuckled. “You know, it is the dam that is supposed to become restless and anxious as the birth approaches, not the sire.”
“I suppose you were composed at our births?”
“At the births, yes. I needed to be because your mother and Faurbauti needed me to be. Before them, however, I was quite angsty but I could not let that show either. Your head is not in the throne room most days now, or your heart, it would seem.”
Loki chewed on his lip slightly. “My mate is restless, she is pacing a lot and our son seems to have taken on the male Aesir side of his heritage’s size while his dam is more slight. When I try to speak with her on this matter, I am told to cease worrying, that she feels entirely fine yet her stomach still grows and she still cites she is unbothered, so I have a lot to be dealing with now.”
Arden and Laufey looked at one another with a level of understanding after his outburst. With a small bow, Arden took his leave leaving the father and son alone to speak.
“Come, Loki.” Laufey urged.
“Father, I just want to go back to Ella.”
“You will, soon, but for now, you need to come with me.” His father urged.
Loki went to argue again but his father stumbled slightly which caused him to rush to his side to assist him. Gently, he brought his father back to his rooms, wishing Ella was there to make it easier for his father, or perhaps save him the embarrassment of having to depend on his son to assist him.
Sitting his father in his usual chair, Loki checked over him. “Are you alright?”
Laufey inhaled deeply as he steadied his breathing. “I am fine, just old.” He could see his son was uncertain. “Loki, I can see the reasoning for your concern. I remember facing that behemoth of an Aesir called her sire for the first time. I see how big she has grown with your child and I know she takes more after her dam but I really think you to be concerning yourself with the wrong issues through this.” Loki glared at him. “I truly do. Ella is not concerned about such and she is the being forced to do it, so why do you fear it so greatly?”
Loki said nothing in response.
“Speak, my son, please. Tell me what ails you as you have done since…” Laufey looked down at his hands. “Norns, I remember the first time you came to me with your woes. Your toy broke and you felt so heartbroken, it was your favourite.” He chuckled. “To you, the world was ending, but one moment of ice later…” Laufey swirled his hand and a figurine of ice came to be formed on it. “And it was fixed again. You realised then that what may seem terrible is not always so.”
Loki did not know what to say to that. He could not recall such a menial situation and when his father mentioned his woes, he thought he would refer to one of significance, not that of his issues as a child. “I want my son but what if it costs me my mate?”
“Why would it? I know you mentioned their proportions but do you trust her so little?” Laufey challenged. “Norns, you think something as natural and ordinary as childbirth will phase her? I have little doubt you will be holding your son as she walks around the room because something irks her mere moments after the birth because genuinely, I see no issue for her. Females are more capable than you give them credit for, my son. But I understand some bit also. I recall when Nal revealed she was carrying you. This albeit not as slight Vanir, carrying a half Jotnar, I thought it would be dangerous but she had no issue. Faurbauti was indignant that she suffered more with Býleistr and later she commented on Helbindi too than your dam did you and you were born big to a Vanir.”
Loki paused. “I forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
“That my dam…”
“Nal was not Jotnar either. Look at the Allmother, she is not burly of build and she birthed that son of theirs, no issue from what we were all told,” Laufey assured him. “When done safely, there is no issue with childbirth and I refuse to believe a woman who prepares for everything as your mate does would leave such an important thing to chance.”
Loki could not argue such a statement. He knew Ella planned for every eventuality all the time, so he knew the birth of their son would not be the time for her to cease being so meticulous. “I just wish this part was not so concerning.”
Laufey chuckled. “You spent a great portion of this event not even aware she was carrying and her gestational period is far shorter than that of a Jotnar, you have the least waiting of all Jotnar to do.”
“Yet I fret nonetheless.”
“You are a sire, you will always fret. He is not only your son but the heir to Jotunheim. That is a lot of pressure for you to carry as a sire.”
Loki had not even thought of his son being the heir to Jotunheim, he only could think of him being his son. He did not want to pressure his child into the future, especially if he and Ella were fortunate to have more children, he knew then that telling his son that he would be heir to Jotunheim then perhaps having a better-suited son would do no favours for him. Just as his father had done, he would remain silent on the matter until a clear candidate for the role became apparent between his children. Thinking in such a manner caused Loki to smile a little bit. A few sons, as his father had, perhaps a daughter or two also, living in their rooms before being old enough for their own, a pleasant and wanted idea for him. He loved the idea of Ella teaching them her seidr, smiling encouragingly at them as she did, making comments on how their father was of little or no use for his inabilities, or perhaps her trying to feign anger at mischief when she was nothing short of a terror going by what her brother and she herself had informed him. Loki found himself looking at his father who in turn, was looking somewhat concerned at him. “Sorry, Father?”
“Something has sidetracked you?”
“Images, of a life yet lived.”
“Do not spend your life wishing it away, my son. You have so much to live for here in the present.”
“It was more of an image of life to come.”
“Soon, he will be here and will be yearning for the rest of the life you have lived,” Laufey joked.
“So I have been warned. If it’s alright with you, Father, I will go back to my mate now. She gets restless after a time. I think she feels almost as she did before I had the sense to treat her right if she is left alone too long. She misses Greta’s company so she feels alone a lot so I do not wish to make her think she is alone, for fear of inciting previous worries. The last thing needed is for her seidr attacking her again. I could not face it and I would be frightened that it could see our son as a risk.”
“That is a wise decision.” Laufey nodded, rising from his chair with ease. “Go tend to your mate.”
Loki nodded and turned to leave, but after a moment, he froze and turned again to face his father suspiciously.
Laufey looked at his son in concern. “Loki?”
“You rose from your chair with no issue?” Loki pointed out.
“Right?”
Loki’s eyes widened. “Really? Feigning sickness to get me to bring you here without question because of how concerned I was. Those are the tactics you wish to employ?”
“You needed to speak your mind and I could see nothing else working.” Laufey shrugged his shoulders with little remorse to be seen in his features. “I will move the realms to ensure you are of the greatest of health, physical and otherwise, Loki, even if it makes me seem weak.”
“Why would you do such a foolish thing?”
“Because parents do such things for their children in our world. Look at the Allfather, he let his image be weakened by allowing us all to see Ella disobey his demands to return to Asgard in full view of the Jotnar to show her willingness to be here, then giving her Gungnir, when clearly without it, he is far weaker, to show her strength here, and to show our realm’s strength and Asgard’s perceived trust in the union between you both.”
Loki recalled Odin explaining what he had allowed to occur when he was adamant about bringing his daughter back to Asgard after her illness. He also had thought to himself that giving Ella Gungnir was peculiar, especially since he would now have a walking stick in its place, showing his fragility in older age, something Loki was sure no King would want to be seen as but he also knew there were many on Jotunheim that questioned both Ella’s loyalty and strength, even after the feats she had shown before both on Jotunheim and other realms. He knew Odin held little worth in daughters, even with loving his own in his own obscure way, so to allow himself seem weak to strengthen her and indeed Jotunheim’s position was notable.
“What will you do for your own son?”
“Everything and anything.” Loki did not even wait a moment before answering his father’s question.
“As I would, you,” Laufey declared. “So go to your mate, tend to her needs and settle your own worries and you will better be able to focus your attention on Court after.”
“Thank you, Father, for your excellent counsel. As usual.” Loki smiled at his father before rushing through the glacial halls of the ice palace to his own rooms. Inside, he looked around, unsurprised at what welcomed him. “Dare I ask?”
“Nothing is right.”
“So it would seem.” Loki walked over to his mate who had rearranged the room several different ways going by the frustration on her face. “What do you need?” He knew better than to rubbish her thoughts and efforts. He knew she was in a frenzy of nesting and even if he would attempt such futility, he knew that she could not be reasoned with. In his own thoughts, Loki suspected that Ella had tried reasoning with herself as to why it did not matter which way the bed faced, but as far as her instincts were concerned, anything short of perfect was chaos.
“Him out of me and this room organised.”
Loki chuckled slightly and placed an arm around her rotund stomach. “He will not be there much longer and I asked specifically so I could assist with the room.”
“I have put this bed in eight different positions but every time I change it, I feel even more vulnerable in here.”
Loki looked at the room in an assessing manner. “The reason I chose to put the bed in that position was because you were coming. Before that, it was over here.” He indicated to the corner of the room where the bed once stood. “It felt…” He did not get to say anymore before the items that were in that corner were gone and the bed replaced them. “It does not have a clear sight of the doorway for the most of it.”
“Yes, it’s shielded, which is why it’s perfect.” The sheer relief in Ella’s voice was noticeable.
Looking at it all as she was seeing it, Loki realised that in the event of an attack, Ella and the baby would be shielded from the door and the manner in which she placed the stand for Gungnir next to the side she would take, he came to understand her logic. Their son would not suffer an attack immediately. Even he felt relief at such a thought, as terrible the idea of them being attacked in their home was, the idea of their son being safe and Ella having a moment to reach for Gungnir to protect them safely made him feel better. “What else?”
Within a few minutes, the entire room was rearranged as Ella wished for it to be and she was satisfied. Though for how long that would last, Loki was uncertain.
“Will you rest now?” Loki urged.
“Fine.” Ella walked over to the bed. “Will you come over too?”
Loki could hear the pleading in her voice, he knew she was even more restless when he was not around her. As the time for the baby to arrive drew closer, she hated him being away from her with just as much intensity as he hated being away from her. He walked over and lay back on the bed, urging her to lay beside him. “Rest for now. We won’t have time for such soon.”
“What happened in court today?”
“Nothing of importance. Just the usual mundanity.” He dismissed. It was true, nothing of any substance had arisen there.
Ella said nothing in return, instead, she just relaxed beside him contently.
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circusdraw · 6 hours ago
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“You may only call me ‘Mrs. Ackerman’ when you are completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy”
“... And how are you in this evening, Mrs. Ackerman?”
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b0n3-h34d · 12 hours ago
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the fact that the words "the fact that i have not a single quill" were legitimate words that went through my head as i looked through my pencil holder is really concerning
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