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#and i could’ve been at home writing but instead i’m sitting in my car wasting gas waiting for them to respond
ilguna · 10 months
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me when i’m in an unknown place and my two friends are at a reservation that was supposed to end 25 minutes ago and one of them has their phone on silent and the other isn’t responding and i’m 30 minutes away from home sitting at a QT because that’s the only place i felt safe enough to park: 💃
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nextdoorharry · 3 years
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imaaaaagine a world like that..can you?
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in which you and harry are exes, but still remain good friends when you’re always there for each other. both of you can’t help but reminisce…in your head.
a/n: super sorry i haven’t written in FOREVER!! been crazy busy with school (still am) and i will get back to the writing grind when i’m not as busy, with that being said this is just a quick thing i was thinking of. also, no hate to olivia and harry’s relationship at all. pr or not, both deserve respect and anything written in this piece is solely for writing purposes only. no hate will be tolerated toward an individual. we’re all human.
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it happened when you were on your way home from dinner with your friends. a call from harry. this wasn’t out of the ordinary for harry to call you, being exes and all. you both apologized after the breakup and agreed that you both couldn’t let 5 years of love, being close with each other’s families, and a pet cat all go to waste. you agreed upon being friends with him. still hang out here and there after the breakup, acting all platonic. you can’t help but have a glimmer of hope its a call wanting to start a relationship again.
“hello?” you said, one hand on the wheel, other holding your phone.
“hi love, sorry s’a bit late, was wondering if i can come over. it’s about olivia.” harry says. still sending you butterflies when he said the simple yet warming term of endearment. but once he said olivia, your heart dropped.
she’s beautiful, confident, and makes your harry happy from what the tabloids portray. the last time you and harry spoke was before he went off to LA, filming for don’t worry darling, a movie his new lover produced. still a few texts since then like “happy birthday!” “congrats on the grammy,” or “how’s the cat?” you two always saved catching up for in person. it was just your thing you kept during the 5 year relationship and after. it keeps things more meaningful at the time, rather than texting or quick phone calls.
“ah, olivia. isn’t she my replacement?” you teased while laughing. you hear a burst of giggles from the other end of the line. god you missed hearing that everyday.
harry on the other end of the line, heart aches a bit hearing you say that. no one could ever replace you. ever. you are so special to him. if only it wasn’t for his team making it difficult for him to ease down on touring for a bit for you. you asked for one thing from harry, which was to start settling down. you both were only getting older and the talks of marriage and kids were frequently becoming the topic of discussion with family. a year and some after the breakup, which happened to be during quarantine, where he had so much time on his hands without you, he reflected on what could’ve been and how stupid he was for letting you go. you were always so patient with him. going to his shows, god awful dinner parties with industry people, changing your work schedule just to fit into his. you asked for one thing. and instead of fighting for you with his team, he instead sided with them, and let you go.
teasing not dying down, harry goes, “someone keeps up with me in the tabloids, eh?”
it’s the fact that he’s not wrong. you remember that tabloid very well. when the first pictures of harry and olivia came out in an article titled, “harry styles and olivia wilde new romance? is y/n replaced?”
your heart was hurting.
“of course i am. keep having to make sure my name is finally out their mouths.” you joke. “i’ll be home in about 15 minutes if that’s okay?”
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you pull into the driveway already seeing harry sitting on your porch chair. he waves at you and you get out of the car, walking up to him. he stands up and greets you with a bear hug.
“missed you, y’look nice. where’d ya head out to?” he asked, hoping and praying you weren’t out on a date looking like that. he knows you only wear a red lip when its date night. his mind filled with jealousy at the thought of you with someone else. whereas he has no right being there are pictures of him kissing, cuddling, and whispering to olivia on a yacht in italy. all for the cameras. his stomach turns. that was supposed to be you and him. on a yacht on italy. except leaving the display of affection for the bedroom.
“on a date” you say blatantly.
his heart drops. and lets you go from the hug. lying through his teeth he says, “ah really? happy for ya, you have to tell me about it, hope it was with a good bloke.” he says lightly.
“i’m kiddingg, was out for dinner with friends. mel got engaged by the way! was celebratory dinner for her.” you say, unlocking the door, letting harry in.
harry sighs in relief. “that’s good! m’happy for her, pass on my congratulations.” harry follows you into your kitchen, sitting down on the counter stool, watching you making his favorite “calm down” drink, loving that you remembered how he likes it. he didn’t even have to ask you to make it. you just know its what he needs right now. he can’t help but ponder that it should have been you. it should be your friends out for your celebratory dinner for your engagement with him.
you pass him his tea, knowing he’ll only take a few sips of it yet keep it in his hold for warmth. you were on the other side of the counter across from him, making a mini cheeseboard you two can snack on while talking.
“so..what happened?” you ask, heart not ready if you can handle what he’s about to say about his new lover.
“s’just so complicated. originally it was supposed to be a pr stunt for the movie. but now i don’t know how the pr team messed up so badly but they did. no one is really believing it. everything was executed poorly. it sucks because it’s her team conducting everything which means i barely have a say in it. i look like the bad guy being portrayed as a home wrecker, and she’s not doing anything about it! s’like she’s enjoying it. the kissing, the night outs, etc. she knows that if my team did have a say, it would have been over a while ago.” he breathes out. he’s been wanting to rant to someone for so long about this. he also just wants you to know that he’s not into her. it’s all for show. he’s still all about you. he wants to make that crystal clear.
you nod your head listening to everything he’s saying. body feeling uneasy filled with jealousy when harry says she’s enjoying the intimacy they have to do for show.
“well, did you talk to her about it? or talk to jeff at least? there has to be something he can do..?” you ask.
harry sighs, “i’ve tried so hard. jeff said nothing they can do about it. and he’s telling me not to mess with olivia because her team can do more damage than good with my name. not that s’already ruined.” harry rubs his face with his hands, feeling stressed.
the way he’s acting is familiar to you. early on in your relationship, when you two were a freshly new couple, you guys wanted to be completely private. during that time, with harry and the band’s album coming out, his management made him do pr stunts like these. he was as stressed as he is now. you were so new to dating something in an industry. he didn’t want to scare you away. but you understood. you get it. and you still get it as he’s speaking.
“hmm..if i can recall, back when you had to do a stunt with kendall on the yacht, m’pretty sure it was the same situation. with kendall’s team being difficult, your’s not having much of a say. do what i told you back then, stand your ground, harry. tell olivia like you did with kendall. also kendall’s team at the time played dirty, yet they still were understanding with you and got someone new for a stunt. olivia’s team will probably get someone new as well. and how badly can they ruin your rep? everyone knows you’re the nicest person who wouldn’t kill a fly. and tabloids are tabloids. would you rather have a few bad headlines about you or would you rather deal with a stunt for what? another year now? that you feel uncomfortable with?” you state. smiling a bit because you know harry knows your right, he’s smiling a bit too. he knows you love being right and debating, pulling out facts. that’s what you always did during an argument. which is why you were always right.
man. why couldn’t he stand his ground with his team. why didn’t he take your advice back then? he should’ve sided with you. not his team. why is he always so scared of them?
self-loathing, harry breathes out a laugh, “always have to be right don’t ya? you know what to say every damn time,”
“what can i say? the lady is always right.” you say, smiling proudly while cleaning up the remains of the cheeseboard you and harry snacked on.
“thanks y/n, really, i know i can always come to you with this stuff,” harry states. looking at you with his piercing eyes, meaning every word he said.
you smiled and nodded, cleaning the kitchen a bit. it started to pour early on when you guys were having a chat about his situation, hoping silently it would come down faster so harry has an excuse to stay, you offer nonetheless. “why don’t you stay back for a bit, hm? s’pouring out there, only gonna get worse. we can watch something?”
“love island?” harry suggests.
“thought you’d never ask.”
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few gasps and scoffs at some of the islanders and their drama later, you slowly were drifted off to sleep. harry, sitting on the other sofa from you, peaks to see if you’re still watching. his face was in awe. he misses this. domestic nights with you, chatting away eating in the kitchen, then watching something afterwards. only difference is that you two are on different sofas. whereas before you’d be coddled under his embrace. he slowly drifts off to sleep as well. rain still going on, technically he can still go home. driving in the rain was never an issue for him. but he’ll always use an excuse just to be with you.
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iMessage: Olivia Wilde
1:34 AM - I miss you, and our casual hookups. Can’t stop thinking about it.
that was one part harry left out of the story. he hooked up with her.
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ahhhhh!!!! lmk if you guys want a part 2!!!
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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years
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Do you think you could write a piece about Harry and y/n having sex but she’s like really short and Harry is like throwing her around and just manhandling her and fucking destroying her guts but also make kinda fluffy pls😔👉👈
Welcome Home
Anonymous Said: Hi I’ve discovered this blog recently and can I please just take a moment to say Wow... you’re writing is amazing and your ideas and concepts are brilliant. I’m not sure if your taking requests or concepts but here’s an idea. SNL pilot Harry like with the grey hair and all coming home to his wife who misses him dearly after awhile followed by you know what. And if you could include size kink (I really liked that concept)
A/N: I’m so sorry it’s so late guys! Since I’ve been writing for a year now, I figured that I’d give an ‘Au’ a try. When I got this request, I was completely floored. Like holy shit, sexy ass older pilot!Harry, and small!Y/n. All of this is perfection and I love this so much! Enjoy🙃
4.7k words
Harry loved his job. He considered himself to be pretty lucky to have the ability to travel the world and see places he’d only dreamt of growing up. Even though he wasn’t in those places for an extended amount of time, simply being there was more than enough for Harry and it made him want to go back and explore. If he was lucky, he’d have multiple flights to the same place or longer layover in these But what Harry loved most about his job was the fact that he got to do it all with the love of his life. 
When you two first met, Harry’d been a pilot for some years and you were just hired for your job as a flight attendant. You knew that it wasn’t the most glamorous profession int the world, but you wanted to dip your toes into the pool of world travel, and this was the route you were taking to start. Before your first flight you’d asked around about the pilots for your flight and you were met with the same response each time. Everyone said that Harry was one of the nicest people in the world and was pretty good looking too, but his copilot was the person you were advised to try your best to avoid. Luckily, you only had to interact with Harry. Both you and Harry hated to say it and be all cliché, but from the moment you two laid eyes on and interacted with each other you both were hooked. Even though the both of you could’ve really used the entirety of your breaks to get some sleep, you and Harry couldn’t stop talking to each other. From that point on, the two of you became inseparable. During layovers that were more than just a couple hours and Harry had some spare time outside of his duties as pilot, the two of you would spend time together. You two were so caught up in each other and being together that you’d swap flights and breaks with the other flight attendants so that you and Harry could be together. And Harry did the same. He’d always put in a word with the people who made the schedules to ensure that he was flying the flights you were on or he’d try to get you on his flights. 
After constantly being on flights together and even running into each other during your times off, you and Harry were pretty convinced that you two should give a relationship a try. Even though there was a significant risk involved with starting a relationship with someone who was pretty much your boss and/or employee, you and Harry were willing to take that risk. And you two never looked back. In fact, disclosing you guys’ relationship made things way easier for you and Harry; you two were almost always on the same flights together. Now, you two are happily married and traveling the world together about 99% of the time. You both absolutely hated when the 1% times came around. You two became so used to being on the same flights that when you weren’t, you and Harry were a bit sad and even a little homesick believe it or not. This time unfortunately was Harry’s turn to fly without you. There wasn’t a moment on his trip that Harry didn’t miss you. He was focused on his job but he was still thinking about you. He was constantly wondering about what you were doing at home. When he took his break he just laid there and the cuddles and kisses he’d get if you were there with him. He also missed listening to your passenger horror stories and pushing you to just keep going. And on top of all that, Harry missed all the times you two would try to quietly go at it in the bathroom or crew resting area depending on whether or not you two were the only ones on break. Even though he was able to talk to you during his layover, he was counting the days and eventually hours until he came back home to you. As soon as he landed on the tarmac at the airport, Harry was on a mission to get home. After following all the necessary after flight procedure and filling out all of the necessary paperwork, Harry threw his bag into his car and sped home to you.
Surprisingly, Harry was able to get home and not get a ticket. He quickly pulls into the driveway and carries himself and his bag into the house. When he walks through the front door, Harry could immediately feel your presence. He could feel your warmth radiating through the entire house. All he had to do now as find you. Before checking upstairs, he makes his way around the main level of the house to look for you. As he exits the kitchen and makes his way down the hall, Harry could hear your soft hums getting louder and louder. When he reaches the laundry room, he sees you standing at the folding in the corner. Simply seeing you bought a big smile to his face. He then wastes no time coming over to you and wrapping his arms around your smaller body. 
“Honey I’m home.” Harry happily coos in your ear before pressing a soft kiss below it. When he does this, you turn around in his arms to get a better look at him. 
“Welcome home.” You whisper back to him, lifting yourself up onto your tips of your toes to bring your lips to his. As soon as your lips connect, the both of you release sighs of content. You two were back together. It doesn’t take long for Harry’s arms to tighten around your body and hoist you up onto the table behind you. The kiss lasts a little longer before you pull away from his lips. 
“How was your long haul without me?” You hum, sliding your hands up the lapels of his jacket.
“It was hell.” Harry says pointedly. 
“It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Was thinking about you the whole time.” Harry frowns a little at you to emphasize his point. 
“I missed you too baby.” You coo softly to him. You then reach up and pull the captains hat off of his head, sitting it down next to you before pushing your hands through his greying curls. When you two first met, he had some grey hairs here and there. But now they had taken over just about all of his head; and you were very into it. “Any annoying kids or weird old ladies?” You ask him. 
 “For the kids, I wouldn’t know. I like to stay in the front of the plane or the crew area.” Harry begins truthfully. “But as for the old ladies, they always want to break off a piece of this.” He continues smugly.
“Why would they want you? Do they wanna swap arthritis creams or something?” You joke with a laugh, watching his face fall in the process. 
“I will have you know that I’m considered a silver fox. And you know it.” Harry defends, slightly tilting his head up away from you. When he says this all you could do was pucker your lips and bite the inside of them because what he said was in fact true. You just couldn’t let him know that. “Now what’d you get into while I was gone?” Harry asks curiously with a smirk from his previous victory. 
“Did some stuff around the house and I did a little missing you retail therapy.” You reply happily. 
“So I take it that the credit card bill this month is gonna be a little higher than normal?” Harry asks suspiciously. 
“Just a little.” You whisper trying to undermine your shopping spree. 
“A little?” Harry asks you again, already knowing that you’re undermining how much you actually spent. 
“Mhm.” You mumble, nodding your head sweetly in the process. 
“You’re too cute and pretty for your own good.” Harry chuckles and shakes his head down at you. 
“You love it though.” You hum happily up at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
“I do.” Harry sighs contently. This is what he missed. He missed being in your arms and just loving on you. He loved seeing your smile and feeing your small arms wrap around him. “I actually bought you a couple things.” Harry whispers, tightening his grip around your back. 
“Is it more skimpy lingerie?” You question him, making sure to spread a wide smirk across your face. Instead of readily replying to you, Harry simply unwraps one of his arms from around your back and he brings it up to the front of your dress. Since the front of your dress was loosely wrapped around your body to keep it closed, Harry as able to simply pluck back the top a little to get a good look at your body beneath the fabric. 
“Well I guess this is my cue to stop buying the lingerie, since you’re not even wearing it.” Harry points out, looking down into your dress to find your bare, supple breasts resting on your chest. It took a lot of self control for Harry in that moment to not stick his hand down your dress to take your plushy flesh into his hand.
“Well I thought it was for our sexy times or when I send you pictures while you’re on a trip and on your break or stuck in a hotel room without me.” You explain to him. You even throw in a little pout; you wanted to keep your fancy and very pretty lingerie flow going. “But I am wearing one of the pairs of  panties you picked up in Italy if you wanna see how some of your purchases look on me.” You whisper lowly to him. You then use your arms that are hooked around his neck to pull his head down closer to yours. Harry was already a bit hard from finally being home with you. Now he was getting even harder from your words. 
“Is it bad that I’ve only been home for 20 minuets and I’m already thinking about completely ravishing you?” Harry mumbles against your pillow soft lips. “Just so pretty baby.” Harry grumbles frustratedly before bringing his mouth the rest of the way to yours while pulling you closer to the edge of the table. He couldn’t believe that he, a man who turned 40 a couple months prior, was getting all riled up and turned on the same way he did 20 plus years ago. That was just the age defying effect you had on him. 
“No, not at all.” You begin as you pull away from the short lived yet beyond passionate kiss, slowly bringing your left hand up the back of his neck to his hair. “In fact, every time I see you in your head to toe pilots get up, I’m always fighting the strong urge to fall to my knees and take your cock down my throat.” You bluntly continue, your voice filled with a very nonchalant and teasing tone. 
When this statement left your mouth, Harry was a little bit taken aback. But at the same time he wasn’t. After slowly building up your friendship that in no time blossomed into a more romantic relationship together, Harry was able to slowly show you the ropes so to speak and teach you just about everything you knew when it came to the bedroom and a happy and healthy relationship. When you two progressed to the more intimate stage of your budding relationship, you were pretty inexperienced. You didn’t know your way around the bedroom at all. You we’re still a virgin and you didn’t even know the ins and outs of making out with someone. All you knew was that this smart, extremely kind, absolutely gorgeous, and just overall stunning human being, older man who just so happened to be the pilot on your flight had taken a strong interest in you. And luckily for you, your lack of experience was the least of his concerns. It was like you hit the jackpot with him. Fast forward to now when you two are a married couple, you’ve taken all of the tips and tricks he’s taught over time and you’re running with it. Harry wasn’t the only who had the ability to do things to your body that would make your toes to curl, your entire body to go numb, and cause your mind to deem it all indescribable. You also had the ability to turn Harry into a pleasured, borderline incoherent, and moaning mess; something that most women in his past who were his age or slightly older weren’t even able to do. So it wasn’t a complete surprise that those words came from your mouth.
“Who knew that my pretty little wife had such a filthy mouth.” Harry gasps with a condescending tone.
“Well I’m not a prudish old man like you.” You simply reply. This was the button in Harry that you loved to push. 
“I don’t know where you’re getting that from but I’m far from prudish and I’m definitely not an old man.” Harry says matter of factly. “If I remember it correctly, I made you wear vibrating panties for the entirety of an 18 hour flight.” Harry recalls, making his point against being called prudish. 
“Everyone uses those. Especially older men.” You smugly whisper back, pushing even harder on this button of his. 
Harry knew exactly what you were doing. He knew that you were pushing his button so that he’d unleash everything he had built up over the course of his trip into you. It didn’t take much for him to realize that you wanted him to really make up for not being with you for almost a week. The both of you were itching to feel and be around each other again. After you and Harry made it past the learning and teaching phase of you guys’ sex life, the two of you acquired a constant hunger for one another. When you and Harry had some time off, the sex would be nonstop. Whether it was cockwarming or full on sex where you’re riding his cock or he was slamming himself deep into your pussy, you and Harry were always looking for ways to be around each other like this. And it was exactly the same when you two were on the job. Even though you two didn’t have the freedom to go at it whenever you wanted, you and Harry still found ways to be with each other. For some reason, seeing each other dressed in your uniforms was a bit of a turn on. It didn’t help that the both of you were borderline thrill seekers and loved the rush that came along with trying to be quiet as you both were experiencing some of the best pleasure you’d ever felt.
“Well do all older men pound and shove their cocks into their girlfriends, and now wives tight little cunts over and over again until she’s begging and crying for him to slow down and let them cum? Because if not, I’ve got countless stories about me doing that to you in the cramped bathroom on a flight, in restaurant bathrooms, dressing rooms, upstairs, on the couch, the kitchen counter, right here on this table, and many other places.” Even though you acted confident and enjoyed battling Harry for dominance, you were able to easily fall into a more submissive role. The way he’s calmly able to say the filthiest things made your body quake and your panties become even more soaked than they already were. You were never going to be able to forget about all of those times. How and why would you ever forget the times where he’s hoisted you up against a door or a wall, or pushed you down against the counter, tightly wrapped a hand around your mouth to keep you quiet, and deliciously slammed his cock up into you? If you focused in on those memories, you could remember and almost feel him inside you.
That’s what you wanted right now. You wanted him to pound into you so hard that you’d a sore, moaning mess and you wanted to make up for the time you two weren’t together. This was the first time in a good while that you weren’t scheduled for a flight with Harry and you really missed him. And his cock. So if you had to push one of his buttons to really get what you both wanted, you were going to do it. 
“Well I think you guys can do that,” You begin, pausing to run your hands down from his neck and across the expanse of his broad shoulders. “I just think that you may need a little help if you know what I mean.” You finish. When you say this, Harry knows exactly what you were implying and he wasn’t having any of it. 
“You and this pretty little body of yours is gonna get it.” Harry growls before yanking you up from the table and pulling you into his body. He quietly marches you both up the stairs and to your shared bedroom. When he reaches the foot of the bed, he releases his once tight grip on your body and drops you down onto the bed. He continues to go about everything silently, shoving his jacket off of his shoulders and working on his tie and shirt.
“You look really hot in that uniform just so you know.” You admire from the bed below him. You watch him chuckle at your statement as he shrugs his shirt and undone tie off his body. You were really turned on right now. Like the sight of his bare, toned and tattooed chest and arms was a sight you could stare at forever. Add onto that the fact that he was mad and taking control over you and you were setup to be a complete mess. And your panties could definitely attest to that. You were completely drenched and dying to feel him against and inside you. 
“You don’t have to butter me up baby.” Harry begins as he undoes his shoes. “M’still gonna take care of you and that smart mouth of yours.” Harry guarantees, shoving his shoes and socks off his feet and standing back up to work on his pants. “Gonna make sure you know what I can do to you.” Harry finishes, finally undoing his belt and shoving his pants along with his boxers down his legs. When you see his thick and very hard cock, you couldn’t stop a moan or two from escaping your mouth. “I take it someone needs my cock.” Harry chuckles at your desperation for his cock. He planned on showing you just how much you needed him. He then comes closer to the edge of the bed and in one swift motion, Harry pulls you up from your lying position and flips you onto your front. He masterfully undoes the tie on the back of your dress and he flips you back onto your back. He tugs at the fabric, opening your dress and exposing your partially naked body to him. He takes a moment to admire your body and all he could do is bite his lip. He couldn’t believe that he managed to be away from this for nearly an entire week. 
Harry quickly snaps out of his trance when he feels his cock twitch slightly and he leans down to scoop you up into his arms. When he does this, Harry keeps you low in his grip so that you’d be right against his cock. He keeps one arm securely around your body and pulls your arms from the dress. Once it’s completely off of you, he drops it into the pile of his clothes and drops you back onto the bed. Before crawling up and on top of you, Harry uses your claves to push you a little higher up onto the bed and to flip you back onto your stomach. When he does this, you really know you’re in for it. Whenever you were in this position Harry really made sure to slam into you and make you scream. When he crawls up and is on top of you from behind, he wastes no time in ripping the barely there panties off your body. For the first time in what felt like forever, Harry didn’t snap the delicate undergarment in half. Once they’re out of the way, Harry has complete access to your body.
“Gonna be a good girl and take daddy’s cock?” Harry asks, squeezing the flesh of your ass before raising it up just to crash it back down.
“Mhm.” You whimper, really feeling the sting from the sudden slap.
“Use your words.” Harry demands, raising his hand back up to deliver another slap to your backside. 
“Yes daddy.” You cry out to him, this time feeling not only the sting of his slaps but also feeling of your juices dripping onto the sheets.
“Good girl.” Harry hums at your response. He then straddles your thighs, wanting to keep you in place when he pushes into you. He lifts himself up so that he’s hovering over you, and he grips onto his cock to give himself a good squeeze, resulting in him letting out a loud grumble behind you (that went straight to your clit). He tightly grips onto the flesh of one of your cheeks and he pulls your ass apart to get a better view of you. When he sees your puckered hole, Harry gets a little idea. In the process of lining himself up with your entrance, Harry uses his cock to put a little pressure on your tighter hole. When he does this, words begin to pour out of your mouth. 
“M’too tight daddy.” You rush out to him, trying to stop his actions. Harry knew that you were too tight for him at the moment, but he just liked to work you up a little and hear you beg.
“Don’t worry baby. When were done, daddy’s gonna get you nice and ready for his cock.” He promises, lowering his cock from your second hole down to the first. When you feel his thick head nudging at your entrance, your moans got louder. You needed him to be inside you already. 
“Want your big cock daddy.” You beg. You try to move back against him but he’s practically sitting on your thighs, which is pinning you to the bed. 
“Whats the magic word?” Harry teases.
“Please daddy?” And with that, Harry is finally sinking his cock into you. When you feel his cock stretching you to fit all of him, your mind goes blank. All you could come up with was strings of loud moans and feeling good. You felt full agains which was all you really wanted. As he continues to sheath his cock with your walls, Harry’s hand leaves his shaft and goes right to your other cheek. He pulls your ass completely apart and watches as his cock disappears into you.
“That’s it, take this cock sweetheart.” Harry pants in amazement. He was still in awe at how a small woman like you was able to take every last inch of his manhood. Once he’s fully inside, Harry’s eyes trail up your body to find you resting your cheek against the sheets with your mouth wide open. Thats what he wanted to see. Keeping his hands on your ass, Harry lifts himself up so that he’s hovering over you and goes straight into slamming in and out of your tight and very wet pussy. As he does this, your entire body quakes at the amazing sensation of him fucking you. Feeling him pound into your stomach as he called you his sweet girl and his pretty little wife was beyond extraordinary. You could feel the familiar tight and warm knot beginning to form in the pit of your stomach already.
As Harry fucks into you, he’s beyond turned on. The way you’re pinned below him as he shoves his cock deep into you along with you pitifully whimpering, moaning, and crying at how good he felt was really doing things to Harry. He never wanted to be away from you ever again. He wanted to feel you every single day.
After fucking into you from behind for a good while and feeling the tight burning sensation forming in the pit of his stomach as well, Harry figures that he’s going to cum soon and he wants to watch your face twist as he does. He then proceeds to stop thrusting all together and pull out of you, which causes you to grumble, resulting in you receiving a hard “shut up” slap to your ass. He then gets lifts himself off of you and flips tugs you onto your back. He knocks your legs apart and gets in between them before slamming his cock back into you.
“Like this baby. Like it when daddy takes control of this tight little cunt of yours?” He pants, continuing to slam his his cock into you. You were too caught up in how good he was making you feel that you couldn’t even form a worded response. All you could do was thrash your head against the bed in agreement. When he sees this, a very wide smirk rises to his face. This is exactly what he missed and wanted to see. You taking all of his cock while you’re quivering and barely holding on. As he continues, Harry can feel the warmth from the pit of his stomach spreading to his entire body, signifying to him that his release was getting extremely close. Judging by the way your once tight grip on the sheets has gone loose, your pitiful whimpers, and the way you’re tightening up around him you’re feeling the exact same way. To make you cum around his cock, with him following right behind you Harry only has to do two things. First, he brings his palm to your lower stomach and presses it into you; putting pressure on the warm knot that was about to explode and allowing him to feel his cock moving inside you. He then comes down, bringing his mouth to your ear to whisper one thing into your ear. “Not too bad for an old man right?” Harry hums patronizingly into your ear. He wanted you to eat your words. And you were. His words, the pressure from his hand, and his cock causes you to burst at the seams around him. You let out a mixture of gasps and whimpers as you completely let go around Harry’s cock. When he feels your walls contracting around him, Harry lets go as well. He releases every last drop of the sexual frustration he’d been carrying around all week; and it felt so good. He loved painting your walls with his cum.
Once the both of you are done and it’s safe to pull out, Harry’s slowly pulls his sopping wet cock from your cunt and collapses onto the bed next to you. 
“Harry, I can’t feel my legs.” You whimper after a couple minuets of silence. 
“M’surprised you’re not used to it by now.” Harry hums smugly. Once he says this, a temporary lull fell over you two. You and Harry were very anxious to go at it again, but you two were holding off to see who would initiate round two. 
“Did you take something before you came in the house?” You whisper over to him, deciding that you needed to be the one to initiate round two.
“Do I need to come over there and shove my cock down that pretty throat of yours for you to get the point?” Harry chuckles at your persistence. 
“Only if you want to.” You whisper sweetly. 
“Oh I want to, and don’t you doubt that.” Harry says matter of factly. 
“Well can we cuddle first? Haven’t cuddled since the night before you left.”
“Anything you want.” Harry coos before moving closer to your limp body. 
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marvel-ousnesss · 3 years
Text
Unrequited (Valerio x reader)
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Warnings: angst, use of drugs, alcohol, cursing, cheating, breakup, mentions of Valerio x Lucrecia 
Word count: 2000-ish
A/N: Sorry this took so long, I hadn't been motivated to write anything until recently. As always, I love to hear comments, thoughts and feedback. Also, thank you so much for supporting my work, hope you enjoy 💜
Masterlist
Request
“Stop it, Valerio.” You abruptly close the book you're holding, eyeing the teacher as you place it on the desk. “They won't even let me get out of the house.”
He had been nagging you all week long about some party he was dying to go to, and you wanted to, really. The only problem was that, a few days ago, the two of you had dragged Guzman on a nightly adventure to the beach, which seemed right at the moment, since he had spent the whole summer sulking. Your dad practically had to drag you home by an ear, and, to say the least, your family didn’t wanna hear a beat about parties or your friends any time soon.
He scoffs, “seriously? Your parents are like the chillest people ever, they weren’t even that mad.”
Incredulous, you look at him up and down, betrayed by the amused grin that flicks on the corner of your lips. “Just checking, were you there on Thursday? One step out of line, and I'll be walking around with an ankle monitor.”
“Y/N, Valerio, is my class, perchance, interrupting your conversation? Should I take it elsewhere?”
With a quick apology and a glare at your boyfriend, cutting the conversation was cut short. However, it was naive to think he'd just settle for the answer you had given him.
“Whatever, Y/N," he grumbles. "I’m sure They'll let you if I,” he frames his face and smiles coyly, “am the one who asks.”
"Geez, why didn't I think of that!". Turning the page of your textbook, you deadpan. "Oh, right, dick-in-a-sock incident.”
Valerio lowers himself on his seat as his face embraces a new tone of crimson. After a second, he recovers. “Can't believe you brought up that teeny-tiny mistake of mine. Low, Y/L/N, even for you.”
You open your mouth to respond, but the bell rings.
When it stops, you continue, “Seriously, V, they've been all over me these last few days, it's a long shot.”
Both of you get out of the classroom and begin to make your way to the lockers. “Just tell them Polo’s gonna be there, don’t they love Polo?”
You sigh, checking the time on your phone. You only have fifteen minutes before your next class began, and, honestly, lack the energy to spend them trying to knock some sense into your mule of a boyfriend.
“Fine,” you settle. “I’ll call them in a minute. But, don’t get your hopes up.”
“Too late.” With a captivating smile, he leans in and pecks your cheek.
After you agreed to at least call your parents, Valerio's mood improved considerably the rest of the day. The rest of the classes went by uneventfully; before you knew it, you found yourself in the car, duffle in hand, on your way to the Montesinos'.
You arrive at their house and let yourself inside, leaving your stuff at the door and heading straight to the kitchen, looking for something to drink. When you turn around to face the stairs, Lu’s making her way down.
"So, how did you manage to dodge your sentence this time?"
"Haggled my freedom, sort of." You place a glass on the table and open the fridge to fetch a bottle of sparkling water.
She rolls her eyes and sighs, exasperated. "A call from my dad would’ve done it".
"Thanks, but it wasn’t that bad, really, " you assure, pouring some water into the glass then cutting a lemon in half. "Just have to take my brother to some birthday party next week and, in exchange, they gave me their blessing for Valerio's thing, and let me stay at yours after."
"God, Y/N, you complain about my brother 24/7 and, in the end, the two of you are just as stubborn."She grabs an apple and takes a bite. "You could've saved yourself the trouble completely."
"Oh, well."You take a seat by the kitchen bar. "Guess it takes one to know one."
"Anyway, what are you wearing tonight?"
You unlock your phone and browse through the gallery. When you find the picture, you stop and point a finger at her. "You're gonna hate me. " You show her the screen smiling from ear to ear.
"Oh, my fucking god, Y/N! How- I- is that the Valentino you were drooling over the other day?"
You just grin.
"You, bitch, how did you get your hands on that?"
"Aunt Millicent."
"Of course," she huffs.
"Turns out that there were a few perks of her going off to Milan." You shrug. "But that's not important right now, what are you gonna wear?"
With that. she drags you up the stairs and into her room. You spend the rest of the afternoon immersed in makeup experiments and debates about fashion until Valerio and Guzman shout your names to start pregaming.
You enter the party together and go straight to the most vacant area of the VIP zone. After grabbing the first round, you join the others at the table and sit down with Polo and Carla for a few drinks. The group remains wrapped in conversation until Ander walks up to his friends and drags them to the bar, probably to tell them about his most recent disagreement with Omar. Soon after, Lucrecia makes eye contact with Nadia, muttering something about her daring to come, and standing up with a huff. Knowing she's physically incapable of keeping herself out of trouble, Carla stands up with a roll of her eyes and follows her.
Valerio lets his arm fall around you and chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. "And then, there were two."
“Wanna get high?" You don't wait for him to answer verbally. Instead, you grab his hands and pull the two of you to stand up.
He laughs, grabbing a bottle of whatever was on the table beside yours.
The two of you sprinted to the nearest restroom in a fit of giggles and lock the door behind you. He puts the bottle on the counter and reaches his pockets, freezing as soon as he lifts his gaze. You dig into your clutch and shake a small bag in his face.
"My treat," you grin, resembling a kid in a candy store.
"Oh, my, little miss Y/LN!" he gasps in fake horror. "What happened to the ankle monitor you were telling me about."
"I won’t tell if you won’t."You smirk, carefully arranging the lines.
The party comes to an end a few minutes before sunrise. You reunite with Lucrecia and Guzman by the entrance of the club and the four of you get in the Montesinos' car. Your head rests on Valerio's chest and he traces lazy patterns on the skin of your arm and shoulder.
When you make it to the house, Lucrecia doesn't waste a minute to drag a tipsy Guzman upstairs, waving a quick goodbye on her way. You giggle, well aware of your friends' plans for the night. Then, you head to the kitchen for a snack.
"Confess it." Your boyfriend stares at you from the stairs, arms crossed over his chest. "The only reason you ever visit is that we have a better pantry."
"To be honest, I thought you already knew that." You grab a pack of chips and walk toward his bedroom, passing by him and kissing his nose softly.
You don't fall asleep that night, writhing in Valerio's arms and debating whether or not to go find something for the hangover that was already beginning to haunt you. When you open your eyes, the first rays of sunlight are already peeking through the window. You decide to get out of bed. You throw the blanket off you and turn, expecting to see your boyfriend, but only find a mess of his blankets instead. You check the time on your cell phone: 8:22 a.m.
Seeing no point in continuing your attempts to get some sleep, you put on the shirt that was laying on Valerio's desk chair and leave the room. As you're crossing the hall to the pool, you hear noises coming through Lucrecia's door. For a moment, you think it may be her and Guzman, but remember hearing him say that he had to go home at dawn to get to a swimming competition.
You try to ignore the noise and convince yourself it's none of your business; but, when you continue to walk away, your ears are invaded by a voice you knew quite well. "It couldn't, they can't-, they're...", a million thoughts invade you. You take a deep breath and to open the door.
There are no words to describe the feeling of your heart being ripped in the blink of an eye. Your legs threaten to collapse and blood rushes to your head, making you dizzy for a brief moment. Not only do you find your boyfriend in the bed, with an unreadable expression coating his face, but you find your best friend redhanded, looking right at you like a deer in headlights.
You don't even try to digest the scene; instead, you run out of the house, suddenly not caring about your current apparel. Part of you wanted to shout what you had seen, to ruin them, but they meant too most to you. You couldn't do it, no matter how much you wanted to get it off your chest.
Luckily, your house was empty. You went straight upstairs and locked yourself in your room for the rest of the morning. You did whatever you could to take your head off what you had seen, but nothing worked. In the end, you wrote it down, desperate to get it out somehow. You hadn't opened your diary since you were twelve, but it was relieving; a weight was lifted off your shoulders.
You spend the remaining of the day so deep in thought, that you didn't even notice your family arriving from the park. You drifted off to sleep after working on some homework, only to be woken up by our brother's voice.
"Y/N, your boyfriend's here!" Hearing the word sends a jab of pain through your body. However, you reply, "I'll be down in a second."
You put on a hoodie, some shoes and leave the fort that was your room. Your parents are focused on a movie, so you take the opportunity to step into the backyard with Valerio.
You face him, trying to appear emotionless, even if your bloodshot eyes give you away.The childish gleam in his face is nowhere to be found, his shoulders are more drooping than normal, and his eyes are almost as red as yours. You wonder if it's because of the crying or the cocaine.
“How long?”
“Before I went abroad.”
You attempt to walk back into the house, but he grabs and pulls your arm, begging you to stay and listen.
You sigh. “I won't say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He stays silent for a few seconds, bringing himself to believe that your thoughts on him were actually that low. Then he mumbles, “I don’t care about that, I know it’s unorthodox, and that you’re probably gonna stop talking to us now, and-“
You didn’t have the energy to hear him ramble. “Look, yes, I’m really shaken, to say the least, it's the first time I’ve seen something like that.” You grimaced. “But, the point is you betrayed my trust, V! Completely!” Your voice shakes, you try to clear your throat but it comes out as a sob. “I- even if it hadn’t been her, you hurt me. You promised you’d never do it, but you did!
He takes your hands, and, even if you don’t resist, feels how tense that makes you. Hours prior, it would’ve been comforting. “And I’m sorry, really. I did it without thinking, Y/N/N, it won’t happen again.”
You pull your hands out of his. “Please, V, it’s been happening for more than a year, half of the time we’ve been dating.”
He stays quiet.
You quietly question, “do you still love me?”
This time, his bottom lip quivers and his voice cracks when he answers. “I care about you, a lot, you know that.”
That’s the last you bear to hear. You avert your eyes from him. “I forgive you. You can go now.”
“Y/N/N…” He moves closer to you, but you shake your head, stopping him.
“Please,” you croak.
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detectivehannibal · 4 years
Text
Two Timed
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Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham x Reader
Warnings: Language, Angst.
Requested by: @vampirevatican​
A/N (edit): I hear you guys’ plea for a part 2. I have another request to write, but it is on my radar!
Word Count: 2,598
“Don’t give him the satisfaction of a second chance.”
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You had been suspicious for awhile. It was surely hard to ignore the tug in your chest that was telling you something was off. In the seven years you had been married to Hannibal Lecter, you had learned how to be a keen observer. You had learned to be a careful listener and a focused watcher. In a general sense, he had taught you to be extremely in touch with all of your senses. This was turning out to be your worst nightmare. 
For starters, he was later coming home from work. You initially shrugged this off as perhaps he was off doing his unspeakable errands. However, the situation became very clear when he came home with just the slightest bit of lipstick on his shirt collar. Something that a non-observant person would blatantly miss. After that, all the signs were like a stop sign in your face. The unfamiliar scent of perfume that lingered around him when he walked past you. The simple yet vague answers he would give when you asked him about his day. It all came together quickly and life as you knew it was crashing down.
You didn’t want to believe that he was cheating on you. Hannibal Lecter, the most refined and morally just man you had ever known, being unfaithful to his wife. It was shocking and quite ironic. You didn’t want to have to go snooping for answers. You had always respected Hannibal’s space and personal belongings and never touched anything without asking first. However, you were too upset one fateful evening to care at this point. You searched every part of his study searching for even the smallest hint as of to who this mystery woman was. 
That’s when you found the letter. 
It wasn’t easy to spot. It wasn’t exactly sitting in plain view. You had to rummage through stacks of papers and folders before you saw it. The letter had been written on archival paper, something a little more formal and had some weight to it as it rested in your hands. The seamless piece of paper was addressed to “My dearest Alana” in Hannibal’s unmistakable handwriting. 
Oh. 
Your heart sank into your shoes when you read the header. This had to be a mistake. Surely this wasn’t the Dr. Alana Bloom who had been over for dinner on multiple occasions. The woman who had been mentored by your husband when she was in school to be a psychiatrist. It made your stomach curl in the worst way. The very woman who was acting as your husband’s mistress had been under your nose the entire time. You had almost wished she had been a stranger to you. 
The fact that you were finding out due to a letter was a double smack in the face. When you were dating Hannibal, he often would write you letters of the same magnitude. They expressed his deepest care and feelings for you. It was his way of pouring his soul and heart out to you. Now it seemed that had meant absolutely nothing.
Hot tears wasted no time filling your eyes and streaming your cheeks. This was the most betrayal you had ever felt. You were overwhelmed with anger, sadness, disappointment, and hurt all at the same time. How could he do this to you? You never in a million years would you have seen this coming. He was so adamant about people who were disrespectful and had no regard for others. This was very out of character. 
You shoved the letter back where you found it and raced to your car. There was no way you could stay here. You needed to get away to think. You needed to find someone who would care enough to listen before you did something stupid. Will Graham was your first immediate thought. You had been friends with him before ever knowing Hannibal. As a matter of fact, you met Hannibal through Will. You knew Will would listen. He was always there for you no matter what...whether he cared to be or not. His home was about an hour away from you and Hannibal’s shared home. It was a bit of a drive, but you were desperate. You pondered how to handle the situation while you were in commute. 
Your immediate solution was to turn Hannibal in to the police. You knew he was the killer they had been looking for. It would be the ultimate revenge and the most badass way to leave your lasting mark. You could have Hannibal Lecter at your mercy. You had the power to end his reign of cannibalistic terror. Unfortunately this plan had its leaks and you realized something infuriating. Hannibal would always be one step ahead. More than likely, he’d find out that you knew of the affair just as you were reporting him to Jack Crawford. He would obviously know that giving him up would be your first response and he’d have ample amount of time to get away without a trace.
And then you’d end up dead at his hands.
Damn him. At the time being, you were unsure of what to do. You could never attempt to live life as it was before while also knowing of his secret affair. That would be too cruel to yourself. You were worth way more than that. You deserved better. 
After what felt like an eternity, you pulled into Will’s yard. You hoped he wouldn’t mind an unexpected visit. It wasn’t too terribly late into the night, only about 9:15 or so. You knocked on his front door gently, this was followed by a sound from the inside of multiple sets of fuzzy paws rushing towards the door, alerting their human that he had a visitor. You peeked through the window to see a group of wagging tails and bright canine eyes. Oh, to be one of Will’s stray pups. You would always be well fed, treated with care, and have a cozy place to live. What a life. 
Will approached the door finally, his brows slightly dipping upon seeing your reddened eyes and flushed skin. You managed to hold it together long enough to muster a shaky greeting once he opened the door;
“Hi, Will.” 
He was holding the doorknob with one hand, his other resting on the door frame; 
“Hello,” He said suspiciously; “Have you been crying?”
Your lip quivered at his questions and a fresh round of tears welled up;
“Can I come in?” You asked choking down a sob. 
A brief flash of panic crossed the unofficial FBI agent’s face. He didn’t do well with a crying woman. He stepped aside to allow you to enter his home. You were happily welcomed by his dogs, Winston even sitting by your feet to request an ear rub. You squatted in front of him and stroked his soft, honey colored fur. He licked your salty tears from your cheeks, a sad laugh coming from your chest. 
Will closed the door behind him and frantically tried to see if he could figure out what was wrong without having to ask and further upset you. He noted that you weren’t wearing your wedding ring. You never left the house without it, so he knew it had something to do with Hannibal. Once you rose back from the floor and turned to him, he spoke;
“Did Hannibal do something?” He asked as gently as possible. 
He hated seeing you upset. He didn’t want to make it worse. You nodded in response, the flood of emotions washing over you again. The reality of the situation was really beginning to set in. 
“Yeah. He...He’s cheating on me,” You said with a cracking voice. You went on at the sight of Will’s face going white; “I found a love letter in his study.”
His eyes widened as he took a moment to process what you were saying. Who would ever want to be unfaithful to you? You were perfect in every way. 
“Are you sure it wasn’t for you? Perhaps he hadn’t addressed it yet?” He offered a simple solution. 
If only that simplicity was the truth. You fell onto his sofa and shook your head;
“It was addressed to Alana.” You stated.
Now that made his blood turn cold. This couldn’t be happening.
“Alana Bloom? What makes you so sure it’s her?” He asked in disbelief, sitting next to you
“Because she’s the only Alana that Hannibal and I both know, Will. She’s the only logical person. They go way back.” You said feeling defeated. 
Will stressfully ran a hand through his hair. As a third party this was a lot to take in. He could only imagine how you were feeling. Just like you, he never would’ve expected this from either of them. 
“[Y/N], I’m sorry.” He apologized.
He couldn’t help but feel a little responsible. He was the one who had introduced you two after all. He felt that this could’ve been avoided.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault,” You said honestly; “I’m sorry for coming over here and making this your problem too. I didn’t know where else to go.” 
“Your problems can always be mine. I guarantee that. You can always come here.” He comforted.
You gave the best smile you could. Will had really always been there for you. If he was being honest, he wanted to kiss you in that moment. He just wanted you to understand how much he cared about you. He never wanted you to doubt it. But he didn’t kiss you. He would never take advantage of your emotions like that. After all, you were still a married woman. He didn’t want to force you to stoop to Hannibal’s level. Instead, he just put a hand over yours and rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand. 
On the subject of Hannibal, your phone had buzzed in your bag several times over the last several minutes. You knew it was Hannibal wondering where you were. You also knew he would quickly figure out that you were at Will’s home considering that he’s the only person you’d ever go see this late at night. It wouldn’t be long before Hannibal would be at his front door looking for you.
“What am I supposed to do? I can’t live with him knowing he’s got someone on the side.” You admitted.
“You especially shouldn’t live with him now. You can’t stay married.” He advised.
You knew this. You had a strict rule that always applied to your previous relationships. There was no excuse for cheating. That would be a dealbreaker every time. Divorce was common, but you never thought you’d end up a divorced woman. 
“I know. I mean what do I say to him?” You asked.
Will tucked his head to the side. It was a loaded question for sure. He wasn’t the relationship expert. He hadn’t had many serious relationships in his life. 
“Tell him how you feel. Make sure he understands how much he’s hurt you. Don’t hold back just because you love him,” He replied; “Don’t give him the satisfaction of a second chance.”
You were listening against your better judgement. You wanted so badly for this to just be a horrible dream. You wanted to wake up and this not be real. Silence fell over the both of you. You were out of things to say. You started sobbing again, collapsing into Will’s arms. He held you as you cries filled his home and caused his dogs to whine in sympathy. Your pity party was interrupted by a knock on the door a few minutes later. 
The man of the hour had arrived. 
Part of you wanted to run away and never see him again, but then you’d never get to tell him how you felt. And also he’d find you in record time. Will shot you a look before getting up to answer the door. Hannibal was standing there, still in his work suit and his demeanor was as cool as ever. 
“Hello, Will. Is [Y/N] here? She doesn’t seem to be at home,” He stated. 
“Yeah,” Will responded flatly; “She’s here. You’ve got some nerve showing up here, Dr. Lecter.”
Will was upset. His trusted psychiatrist had hurt his best friend by using his other friend. He had a right to be angry. Hannibal looked over Will’s shoulder to find you on the couch. He pushed past Will and into the room;
“Darling, I really wish you had informed me that you were going to be here.” He said disregarding Will’s previous sentence. 
You stood from the couch. You were furious, yet calm. You stood in front of your husband, looking into his dark eyes with a numb expression. This was your chance. 
“I know, Hannibal. I know about you and Alana.” You confessed.
While his face didn’t show any signs of shock, his heart skipped a beat. He obviously had never planned on you finding out, so this wasn’t what he expected. Will was watching, arms crossed as he observed. 
“How did you find out?” Hannibal asked nonchalantly.
If he had to guess, he would’ve suspected that maybe Alana came clean to Will who conveyed the truth. That was the first time Hannibal would’ve been wrong about anything. 
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know about it. And I want you to know how much you’ve hurt me because of it.” You said. 
You weren’t crying anymore. You were past that point. 
“When I said ‘I do’ on our wedding day, I meant it. Every word of my vows was the truth. I was ecstatic to spend my life with you. I was beyond thrilled to have forever to spend with someone I loved. I just wish I had known it didn’t go both ways,” You spoke softly; “If our marriage wasn’t what you signed up for, then I suppose I owe you an apology. But if it was everything you expected and it still wasn’t enough...then I don’t know what to tell you. I gave you...I gave us everything I had. My whole heart and soul. I wanted to be sure we were each other’s forever. But I see I didn’t do as well as I could have.”
Hannibal was speechless. There wasn’t anything he could say. He was ashamed. Ashamed of getting caught and ashamed for hurting an innocent person. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your wedding ring. You silently took his hand and placed it in his palm. It was cliche, but it was powerful. You were done. 
“I’ll be moved out by tomorrow. Don’t try calling me. Don’t come looking for me. I’m leaving. I hope you can live with what you’ve done,” You said brushing past him. 
You looked at Will as you went to exit his home. He knew you’d call him in a few days after you had time to yourself. You would never leave him behind. You stopped at the door, leaving Hannibal with one final sentence;
“Goodbye, Hannibal.” 
You walked down the front porch steps and into your car. You didn’t know where you were going to go, but you had to get away somewhere. You drove away in silence, letting the road take you wherever it wanted. You couldn’t help but reflect on the good times you had with Hannibal. It would be inhuman not to. At the end of the day, even if it didn’t work out, Hannibal was your love story. You would never be able to change that.
No matter how hard you tried.
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spectracully · 3 years
Text
crash the crush.
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pairings : senior student!xiaojun x sophomore student!reader warnings : profanity, underage drinking, mentions of drugs genre : fluff, a bit of crack? highschool!au word count : 4.3k
summary : what are the odds of crashing into your crush during the neighborhood-friendly run and mutual friends party?
You were pissed off when your mum said you need to work your lazy ass off. Well, if it's on the summer break, you'll most likely agree with her. But it's only the weekend, and you've been studying your ass off these days. A lazy weekend is something you earned, but your mum decided to rain on your lazy parade.
With all those groans and deep sighs, you storm off your house wearing your workout gear. Not much, only a windbreaker jacket paired with shorts and running shoes. Popping your airpods on both of your ears to blast some jams, you take some light jogging steps on your neighborhood. It's only 4.30 pm, and kinda windy, why the fuck are you doing this? That's right, because mum literally compared you to your neighbor's daughter, Giselle, who recently won a karate tournament. Now mum won't even shut up how much she wants an active daughter, not the lazy one. Yikes.
Back to the streets by Saweetie & Jhene Aiko plays, and you hear a message notification on your airpods. Still on your light jogs, you glance at the notification.
yeri<3 : yo yeri<3 : wyd
You stop jogging for a while to write your bestfriend back. It's saturday, she's probably asking you to hangout along with the gang. Yeri gets easily bored at home and in constant need of hanging out.
y/n : running  💃 💃 💃 y/n : mum said i need to be giselle
You continue your pace while waiting for her reply. You can see your neighborhood clearly now, seeing the details, since you always go to school in a sleepy state, not really noticing the environment, and also going home from school mostly sleeping in your brother's car.
The notification rings again. It must be Yeri.
yeri<3 : bitch thats a dancing emoji yeri<3 : running in a weather like this? yeri<3 : damn straight u wanna be giselle
You chuckle as you’re about to type the messages once more, the weather is fine, what the hell is she talking about? But then Yeri is still typing. 
yeri<3 : n e ways yeri<3 : party at lucas' 8pm yeri<3 : be there or be fucking square 💀 💀 💀
You sigh. There she goes. No other option than tag along with her, but it's not like you hate it anyway. Lucas' party is always awesome, you and your friends also will get a VIP pass because he's a good friend of yours too, despite the fact that you're not even in the same grade as him, he's one year above you and Yeri.
y/n : weather is nice dont jinx it y/n : fine but pick me up y/n : cuz doyoung won't let me drive his car
You send the messages to Yeri to prove her the weather is fine, and indicates that you agree to go to Lucas' house tonight, it's a great night to probably get wasted after all those tiring run mum decided to toss on you. It's gonna be fun, anyways. But the thing about hanging out with Lucas and his senior friends.. You might've developed a big fat crush with one of Lucas' closest friends, Xiaojun. 
You barely had an interaction with him, though, because he's usually the quiet and calm one in Lucas' closest friends group. Lucas himself is already so fucking loud, not to mention Hendery, the good-looking clown and moodmaker. There's also Jungwoo, the one who looks very calm but actually won't shut up once you talk to him. Mark too, the giggly one with some lame jokes. Well, going to Lucas' party tonight means you can see Xiaojun, probably getting the chances that you'll have some interaction over some boozes or something is also quite high.
After feeling all warmed up, you decide to give yourself a run around the block. Yeri's right, it's a funny weather to run. It's windy, but the more you stay outside, the cloud is getting darker and darker. You also knew that you're not really alone, who's doing this athletic bullshit in this kind of weather, you noticed that a boy is also doing this silly run when you were typing messages to Yeri. Probably just another neighbor's child being scolded by his mum of how Giselle is so athletic that his mum also wants an active son? Welp, you didn't see his face anyway, you were glued to the phone when you saw the figure running from the side.
It's not even a minute after you started running, Yeri already replied again. Is she really that bored that she doesn't have anything to do?
yeri<3 : ok i'll pick u up at 7 yeri<3 : um.. its fucking raining, y/n yeri<3 : go home and take a shower yeri<3 : pick ur clothes and put on some makeup instead yeri<3 : its saturday night, activate your hoe protocol yeri<3 : mr xiaojun is going to be there tonight
You stop running and stare at her messages. Raining? Is she drunk or what? It's not even 5pm yet and here she is, hallucinating-
Oop. There it goes. You feel some water drops on your head. Your hand. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops are getting harder and harder, it's pouring. 
"Motherfu-" you let out a curse, you should've trusted Yeri on this. As an intuitive homo sapiens with XX chromosomes, you scan through the streets, looking for some shelter to wait the rain to stop. Spotting a bus stop with a large steel canopy, you run like your life depended on it, avoiding the rain.
Finally arriving, you sigh and sit on the installed chair, typing messages to Yeri.
y/n : omg bitch ur right its raining y/n : should've pretended im dead in my room so mum wont bug me y/n : u know what after the rain ends im gonna sprint back home and take a fucking shower y/n : the universe doesnt like it when im trying to be giselle, it gave me rain instead
You sigh as you shuffle through your playlist, looking for some fun jams to pass your time through the rain, when somebody suddenly approaches you.
"Hi, do you mind if I take a seat here?" a boy asks, pointing to the chair next to you. You look up, and suddenly the next thing you wanna do is ascend your soul the fuck out of your body to the sky. 
Oh boy. It's Xiaojun. The boy you won't shut up about. He’s wearing a white loose tank and grey sweatpants, drenched in his own sweat. Oh god. This is truly an attack for you. What the fuck is he doing here? And why must you meet him at your mess like being all salty because of those running fiasco and the rain? While wearing your not-so-fashionable workout gear and not-so-tidy ponytails? Oh god.
You can feel your heart is about to explode when you realize that he is actually the person who is also doing the stupid running at this very weather, you just didn't notice it sooner because you were on your damn phone. Damn, mum was right, everything happened because you were always on your damn phone.
"No, of course! Take a seat!" you answer him, trying your best to crack your sweetest smile although it's more like sweatiest not sweetest.
He smiles back at you, taking a seat next to you, then his eyes get back to his phone, completely glued. Damn this is the only cardio that is worth it, no running, no jumping, no huff that huff this, only sitting next to Xiaojun on a rainy day on a bus stop. Wonderful.
You quickly whip up the messaging app to type all kinds of gibberish and send it to Yeri. She knows what shit is about to go down when you speak gibberish to her.
y/n : FUCKJSHSJJSKSJK YERI y/n : OH MY FUCKING GOD SJSGSJSHSKJSK
Lucky you, Yeri has nothing to do than respond to your messages, she stays put on the chat room.
yeri<3 : OMG BITCH WHAT yeri<3 : SKSHSJJSKS YOU SCARED ME
y/n : HE's FUCKING HERE AHSJSHSJEK
yeri<3 : OMG WHOS HE?? yeri<3 : THE DEVIL??? IS HE GONNA TAKE UR SOUL? SKEJSJKSKSK
y/n : XIAOJUN y/n : TURNS OUT HE ALSO LIVES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
yeri<3 : ASKJSJSKSK WHAT yeri<3 : HOW
y/n : KAHSKSJKS omg bitch y/n : i was sheltering myself from the goddamn rain y/n : im in bus stop rn y/n : this angel came to accompany me y/n : HE WAS RUNNING TOO OMG y/n : omg yeri just so u know if im not there when u pick me up y/n : its bc im in church getting married with my man xiaojun
yeri<3 : BITCH OMG SKSKSKSKK yeri<3 : GET MARRIED RN yeri<3 : WAIT dont waste the chance yeri<3 : talk to him rn!!!
You swear you're about to scream when Yeri sends that. She was actually right, this is your chance to talk to him, considering that you didn't really interact that much with him. But really? He didn't even say a word when he sat, probably didn't even remember your name? The disappointment slowly gets into your head.
You freeze on the spot. torn between wanting to talk to him and just let it slide, you'll see him again tonight as Lucas' house, right?
Just when you decide to give up and not say a word, he turns his head to you.
"Hey, I didn't know you live in this neighborhood too," he starts.
Oh god. If every time your heart beats fast you get a dollar, you'd probably have your own private island by now.
You try to play it cool when actually on the inside you wanna scream I LIKE YOU to his face rn. "Oh? Oh yes, my house is number 13." you answer calmly,
He cracks a smile, “13? You’re Doyoung’s little sister?”
Oh god. What the fuck is this clownery? He knows Doyoung? Why and how? At this rate you just wanna evaporate to the rain, what if Doyoung actually knows that you liked Xiaojun and he spills it? Oh god. 
You smile back at him, holding the panic you’ve been keeping since he mentioned Doyoung’s name. “Yep. I’m his sister.”
“Oh god, why didn’t I notice that earlier? I could’ve taken care of you at school!” he exclaims, and you sure you just wanna evaporate to the rain. Him? Taking care of you at school? YES PLEASE!
You let out a small giggle, trying to be as calm as possible when in reality you’re very sure you just wanna melt like a goddamn popsicle on a hot summer day. “So, how do you know my brother, actually?”
He laughs a bit, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. Oh god, he’s just so beautiful. “Well.. Doyoung and I used to be a dynamic duo in the school's choir, until he graduated.”
Oh, that. Doyoung is pretty serious about his career in the school’s choir, but you did not expect that Xiaojun is actually a part of it. Of course, he has the face of an angel, the voice is included.
“Now I know why Doyoung never let me come to his house. Turns out he has a cute- I mean, h-he has a sister, and that’s you! M-Maybe he’s afraid I’ll bother you or s-something.” he continues, stuttering a bit, and letting out an awkward laugh. You laugh again, feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks that you can’t hide no more. DID HE JUST SAY DOYOUNG HAS A CUTE SISTER? DID HE JUST SAY YOU’RE CUTE? DID HE-
But then, good things always come to an end. The goddamn rain stops. Oh fuck, no more chitter chatter with the dear crush. Just when it is the fucking time you need to hear the goddamn wedding bells, the rain decided to stop on your rain parade. Fuck.
He looks up, and seems like noticing the rain has stopped. “Well, Y/n. Lucas is having a party tonight, are you coming?”
You can feel your cheeks are still heating from his words, you shyly nod to him. Welp, maybe the rain has stopped, but this stupid crush? No. It goes on. Very much.
He stands up, straightening his white loose tank, getting ready to probably sprint back home. “Okay. See you tonight then, I’m going home. Have a good run!” he says as he walks away from the bus stop, leaving you dumbfounded. And lovestruck. That’s a win, alright.
Xiaojun slowly fades away from your view, and you’re still drowning on your pool of love. Yep, that’s it. You can’t even hold it, you quickly dial Yeri’s number to break out the news.
“What is it, Y/n? You literally left me on read for like 14 minutes straight and now you-”
“YERI LISTEN I’M GETTING MARRIED TONIGHT AND THAT’S A FUCKING FACT!” you shout to the phone, you can picture Yeri is probably goggling out her eyes right now.
“Girl, just because Xiaojun just asked you why the fuck were you running at times like this it doesn’t mean-”
“HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you blurted out,cutting her sentences for the second time,
“-you’re getting married- WHAT?? HE CALLED YOU WHAT?” Yeri yelled from the phone, now it’s pretty clear that Yeri is probably jumping her ass off right now.
You sprint your way to home, while holding your phone to your ears, continuing to give Yeri the details about the bus stop conversation you had earlier. Now she’s just yelling at you to pick the right dress and pamper yourself up, the probability you’ll marry Xiaojun at Lucas’ party is increasing. Sure it does.
-------
It’s 11.28 PM, 3 hours and a half since you and Yeri just arrived at Lucas’ house, escaping from Doyoung’s warning to you, to get back in one piece, and most importantly, sober. As if you’re gonna leave Lucas’ house sober, that’s funny, alright. You and Yeri were greeted by Yangyang and Donghyuck, who are currently setting up the table for snacks and drinks. That was probably the first time you saw Donghyuck ever setting up something, because if not, Jungwoo would’ve set his ass on fire.
The party madness has started, seems like everybody already has enough alcohol running on their system. Lucas is already losing his shirt and starts twerking in the middle of his house along with Jaemin and Jungwoo. Ah yes, the thot trio already started their thing, and all you have to do is just stay back and avoid getting dragged to the dance mess, because the chance of Jungwoo and Jaemin will start grinding at you is kinda high right now.. Considering their.. Twerking fiasco.
You sit back on the couch and watch your friends getting crazy over the playlist Yangyang made just for this event, sipping on your cocktails that Donghyuck put god-knows-what in it, he said it’s just cherry juice mixed with gin and brandy, but somehow it tastes kinda citrusy. You glance to the right, only to see Yeri making out with some random guy (probably one of Lucas’ friends named Changbin but oh well, that’s Yeri’s business).
Slightly grossed out and sad because apparently you’re not making out with Xiaojun right now, you make your way to the patio, and find the crowd that circle around a spinning bottle. Interested, you join Jeno, Mark, Renjun, Yeji, Hyunjin, Sungchan, Karina, Vernon, Hendery, and of course, the (hottest) most important person right now, Xiaojun.
“Welcome! As a newly joined member.. Truth or dare?” Jeno greets you as you take a seat between Mark and Sungchan. Well, you’d love to sit beside Xiaojun, but apparently, that seat is already taken by Hendery and Vernon.
You silently glance at Xiaojun, who is wearing a denim jacket with light-yellow knit top underneath, paired with white trousers. Damn, he looks so damn good that you wanna cry a river.
Your head comes back to the question Jeno asked. Today’s your day, be bold or bald. It’s time. “Well, I’m not gonna put my drunk antics to waste. Dare then.” you answer boldly, earning a few ‘ooooh’s from your friends.
Jeno snickers. Well, fuck. Guess you’re a bit too damn bold tonight, the realization suddenly hits you like a fucking trainwreck, Jeno is kinda extreme for games like this. Wrong choice, y/n. You gulp as you wait for Jeno to come up with something.
“I dare you to kiss Xiaojun!” Jeno exclaims, clapping both of his hands like a goddamn happy seal. Mark and Hendery are high-fiving right now, throwing whistles around Xiaojun, who is silent as a fucking rock.
Oh god. Things you’ve said about not putting your drunk antics to waste should’ve stayed in that goddamn draft. This is where Jeno takes you, even though you’re secretly happy that you finally get to kiss your goddamn crush, that shit is EMBARRASSING. If you wanna evaporate to the waters, then it’s probably the right time to do it.
But why Xiaojun though? Is your big fat crush on him too obvious?
You freeze on the spot as you awkwardly smile and stare at Jeno. This shit can’t be real. Jeno is goddamn crazy. You can feel the air is getting hot, whether it’s because the alcohol starts kicking in, or just because the blood is rushing through your head.
“Scared, aren’t you?” Jeno taunts you, sipping his beer as the rest of the group laugh except you and Xiaojun, who is currently staring at you with a questionable expression. Is he pleased? Or is he pissed? Oh god.
“I-I’m not!” you answer him, leaning to Xiaojun, gulping once more before asking him, “You’re okay with this though?”
Xiaojun smirks, “How can I say no to you?” he asks back, accompanied by a few ‘ayyy~’ from the boys, sending butterflies to your stomach. Your face is probably as red as a tomato by now.
Good god. Is this the same Xiaojun who is quiet, calm, and collected among his friends? Why suddenly he is so bold? Oh, he’s probably just drunk and won’t remember this kiss anyway.. You lean closer to him, closing the gap between his face and yours by sealing the kiss. His lips are soft yet firm, almost like a grape jelly you had earlier this afternoon, with a hint of vodka, of course.
After a few seconds, you finally pull out and linger your eyes on him. It’s beautiful, and mesmerizing. You just wish that you can see it again, and only for you, no one else. As you get back to your seat, you take one more last glance at him, that is currently also glancing at you, with his cheeks red.
Okay. You definitely heard the wedding bells, thanks Jeno. That’s probably one of your dreams, and thanks to Jeno, it came true. But unfortunately, Xiaojun probably won’t feel the same, or worse, he’ll probably forget about it tomorrow.
Everyone claps, exchanging happy exclaims and cheers as if you just said ‘I do’ to Xiaojun lol, when in reality, you were just doing the dare Jeno gave you. You gulp bitterly as the game goes on and on.
-----
It’s an hour past midnight, 1.12 AM to be exact. Thank god you’re not that shitfaced, but Yeri is. She is not even capable of doing anything anymore except being all smiley and shit, Changbin already drove her home like fifteen minutes ago, leaving you behind in Lucas’ lair. You suddenly felt the urge to thank god that Yeri made a fantastic decision last minute before picking you up, she used a taxi instead of driving. If she hadn’t, you’re probably stuck driving her home right now.
You scan through the house while leaning through the stair railings, looking for an easy target to get a free ride. Finally spotted your friends, you now have 3 choices : Donghyuck (who is currently seducing some random girl), Yangyang (who is now playing mobile games with Jaemin and Chenle), or Mark (who recently just hit a goddamn blunt, but he’s very capable to drive).
You sip your glass of water, making up your mind for your ride home. But then, suddenly someone taps on your shoulder.
“Do you wanna go home? Like, right now? I can drive you- I mean, our house is like, near.” you hear Xiaojun speaking to you, holding his car keys on his left hand.
Good gracious, is this even real? Like, Xiaojun, is actually asking you to go home with him? Is this real? Or are you just hallucinating from the goddamn weed you take 10 minutes ago from Lucas?
You stare at him blankly. He bit his lip, “I mean- If you wanna stay longer- or probably-”
“Yes, of course! Let’s go.” you smile at him, cutting off his words.
3 times in a day. Good job, Y/n! The wedding is up ahead!
He smiles and gives you a gesture, “Ladies first.”
-
The drive is not as awkward as you thought. Turns out, Xiaojun is full of surprise though, you nearly choked when he said he once formally apologized to Doyoung before he stood up to defend the dignity of Mint Chocolate Chip flavored ice cream. It’s delightful to find out that he has similar tastes as you, from ice cream flavor to music and school subjects.
Xiaojun also told you the reason why he was on the run earlier, he was bored. Damn, look at it, the difference between a forced daughter whose mum wants an active child, and a bored model-student. He said he didn’t expect to see you because he was embarrassed, he was drenched in sweat.
You can feel the butterflies on your stomach grow wilder and wilder from every word he said, or maybe it’s just the way he smiles when he talks to you? Welp, if it’s anything to do with Xiaojun, you’ll most likely get butterflies.
Just when you thought he was drunk, he is not. He’s capable of driving you home and carrying on some fun convos, also remembering little things. So.. perhaps, he is not going to forget the kiss you shared because of Jeno’s dare?
As you keep on exchanging conversation with him, suddenly it’s time to get off his car and get back to your house, get ready to deal with Doyoung’s nags and scolds for getting home this late.
You giggle as you take the seat belt off, smiling at the brown haired boy.
“Thank you for driving me home, Xiaojun. It was fun.” you say to him, waving him goodbye as you open the door. He smiles and waves back at you.
Just when you’re about to open the gate of your house, you hear the sound of slamming car doors. You turn around and see Xiaojun standing in front of you, eyes sparkling like a goddamn star. Unfortunately, it’s not Christmas.. If it is, all you want for Christmas is to stare at Xiaojun’s beautiful eyes all day, and probably get married to him.
“Um.. Y/n.. I don’t know how to say this but.. The kiss you gave me earlier, it’s kinda..” he starts, smiling sheepishly.
Oh god, what now? It’s kinda what? Gross? You swear you’ll kill Jeno if you hear that from Xiaojun.
You gaze at him as you wait for him to complete his sentences.
“It’s kinda.. Making me feel.. Things.” he finally continues, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away from you, flustered. It’s pretty cute.
You giggle at him a little, the butterflies come back, or maybe they never even left?
“Don’t laugh, Y/n. I’m being honest, I was pretty embarrassed to run into you during sheltering, and now you’re laughing at me for-”
You let out a big laugh before you pull him to another kiss. This one is a bit longer, more passionate and intimate, unlike the one you had before. He cups your cheek as you feel him smiling during the kiss.
“I’m sorry if I invaded your privacy- but your fast typing was very.. Intriguing.. I might’ve seen you texting Yeri at the bus stop.” he giggles after you pull out from the kiss.
Yikes. You feel like you’re about to burst now. He saw you texting Yeri? What kind of clownery is this? Did he see you typing- oh god, that’s too embarrassing to remember.
“No! That’s too embarrassing!” you cover your face, he laughs once more.
“Now, which church are we going to? I’m pretty sure you said we’re getting married tonight, right?” he takes your hands off your face, grinning widely.
You pout and lightly hit him, only to be attacked by his hugs a second later. Aww, finally, dreams do come true. You stay on his embrace for a few more minutes, no talking, just comfortable silence and realization that you’re on Xiaojun’s arms right now.
You glance at your watch, Doyoung would be furious by now. Telling him that you really have to go before Doyoung can rise from his sleep and beat your ass, you finally wave goodbye to him as he gets back to his car.
Finally entering the house, you’re greeted by Doyoung who’s standing in front of you, holding a bowl of salad on his right hand.
“So, kissing Xiaojun in front of my salad?” he raises his eyebrow.
You stick out your tongue as you make your way upstairs. Technically, not in front of Doyoung’s salad, because the door was closed. He’s probably looking through the window, such a nosy brother. You laugh at the thought of Doyoung getting furious while eating his salad as you get a message.
Xiaojun : so, see you at school? Xiaojun : can’t wait to hold your hand on monday ;)
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Text
Prometiste.
summary: when a relationship starts breaking, previous promises are broken too.
word count: 1.7k
warnings: pure angst! Is a sad one :(
a/n: I got inspired by my favorite song to write this piece, this song is very dear to me and i loved how this turned out. Let me know what you think of it, please! (btw, the title translates to ‘you promised’)
you can find the rest of my masterlist here
✧・゚: *✧・゚:**:・゚✧*:・゚✧ ✧・゚: ✧・゚: *✧・゚:**:・
The distance can make people grow closer, or it can break them apart. When the second happens, the results are two people with a broken heart and a lot of problems unresolved.
In the beginning, things were great. Harry would pick Y/N up at the airport every time she would go visit him on tour. He’d have her attached to his hip all the time, grabbing a chair for her to sit and watch him rehearse, put her on his lap while his hairstylist was doing his hair, going straight to her arms after every show and going straight to their hotel room to make love to her just like he knows how to.
When her time to leave would arrive, he would beg her to stay just a little more, claiming she was his lucky charm and needed her with him at all times. He’d never say goodbye, simply because he didn’t like that word. He’d much prefer to leave a kiss at the top of her head and make her promise she’d come back soon.
And every time she kept her promise.
Six months passed since Harry began his tour, and in every visit she made she’d notice him more distant, and even if she didn’t want to admit it, she could feel how he was slowly slipping through her fingers.
He’d no longer make the trip to pick her up from the airport, he’d tell her to wait in his dressing room until the concert, leaving her alone for hours without any sort of explanation or sight of regret. She started to feel more like a baggage, an intruder.
Regardless of how she felt, she decided against talking to Harry about it. It was obvious he was stressed, so she sat and watched in silence how the love of her life slowly changed into a person she didn’t know anymore.
Suddenly, she found herself starting looking forward to saying goodbye instead. The question of why she was still wasting her money on plane tickets to see a person who didn’t even look happy to see her was a real enigma, but she still did it anyway. No matter how many text messages Harry would leave on read, or how many unanswered calls landed on his phone, she still loved him and had faith this would only be temporary.
The tour finally made its stop in London, and the reason why Y/N was looking forward to this particular stop, was because Harry had a week long break before his next show. Which meant he was going to be completely free from any obligations, and his mind would finally be stress free.
He hasn’t been sending her many messages lately, but he did tell her his plane got delayed and he’d arrive later than expected. She took the extra time to cook dinner at his house, as a welcome gift.
Harry’s flight was supposed to land at 6 pm, however, it was already nine and he hadn’t come to his house yet.
Y/N got worried and sent him a couple of messages asking him about his whereabouts but he was yet to answer. So she insisted. She was tired of being ignored.
However, after finally receiving an answer from Harry, she immediately wished she didn’t.
Can you stop being so annoying?
Y/N felt as if someone ripped her heart from her chest as tears immediately threatened to spill out of her eyes. Dozens of questions started to run through her mind, still having trouble at understanding the situation.
She contemplated her options. She could either leave, or she could stay and wait for him to come home and one and for all demand an explanation of his behavior. She chose the latter.
So she sat on the couch, looking directly at the flat screen hanged on the wall even though it wasn’t even on. She flinched when she heard a jingle of his keys, following from his footsteps.
None of them said anything as Harry approached her, sitting beside her on the couch in complete silence. He sighed.
“I don’t think this is working anymore, Y/N” He whispered, turning to look at her. He caught how one single tear fell off her left eye, not answering him. She swallowed the rest of them though. “There’s so much going on right now, and I had to make a massive readjust of priorities…”
“And I suppose I didn’t make the cut” She interrupted him. Harry took a deep breath. “Did you stop loving me?” Finally turning to look at him, Harry’s heart break into a million of pieces when he saw her, bloodshot eyes from containing her tears. Harry shook his head. “Then what happened?” she almost begged. “Because it looks like you did and you’re just lying to me to make me feel better”
“I haven’t stopped loving you, never will” he confessed. “I thought I could balance it all. Tour and… well, you. I haven’t been a good boyfriend and you deserve someone who puts you first because… because I can’t”
“I know I’m not perfect, I was certain that my place was next to you. And I tried to keep my promise, I really tried, Harry” She couldn’t contain herself anymore as she started sobbing.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her to his chest, allowing himself to also cry. He felt how Y/N’s tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t care. She tried inhale Harry’s essence as she felt like it was going to be the last time she’d be able to do it.
“I know you did, I do” He started kissing the top of her head multiple times. “This is on me, baby. Is all on me, I’m sorry”
She pulled away from his chest, whipping her tears only to receive new ones. “You could’ve spared me so much time of uncertainty, you know? If you didn’t want this anymore, then why you didn’t say something sooner?”
“I… don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to accept it was time to let you go”
Y/N’s lip started trembling. Deep down she knew Harry just didn’t love her anymore, and although that thought hurt, she would’ve preferred hearing that rather than a really vague excuse. She needed to get out of the house, otherwise she’d collapse.
She stood up abruptly, starting to look for her purse. Harry panicked, standing up from the couch as well. “Please don’t go while you’re like this”
“I don’t want to stay, Harry” she choked a sob. “I really need to go, please” she begged. Harry looked unsure, but he still let go of her arm he didn’t even realize he was holding.
So he watched grab her purse and leave. In that moment, Harry knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life, one that he’d forever regret. But even if he already knew, he still did it anyway.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:**:・゚✧*:・゚✧ ✧・゚: ✧・゚: *✧・゚:**:・
Y/N cried until there weren’t any more tears to spill. She woke up the next day with a wet pillow and a broken heart. At first, she thought it was all just a bad dream, but memories from the night before passed through her mind and a new wave of tears came.
She felt like her whole world was falling apart, suddenly feeling lost and… empty. Her chest felt empty. And it was because her heart didn’t belong to her anymore. Harry had it.
And despite he knew he held her heart in his hands, he still broke it.
Or perhaps he forgot he had it.
It wouldn’t be the first time he’d forgotten something.
Y/N just wanted it all to end. The ache in her head and in her chest, it was becoming too much to handle and she didn’t know what to do anymore.
After spending her whole afternoon in bed staring at the ceiling, she came to the conclusion that in order to stop her soul from aching further, Y/N needed to erase the past three years of her life from her mind.
It was an impulsive decision, but she didn’t realize it until she was in front of Harry’s front door with a couple of duffel bags in the back of her car, waiting to be filled with all her belongings.
Harry wasn’t home, of course he wasn’t. He had a concert to do. He had a career and a life that was waiting for him, and Y/N wasn’t part of that anymore.
Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the bags and entered the house with her spare key, feeling sad about thinking it would be the last time she’d use it. She placed the key in the table beside the door and headed upstairs straight to Harry’s room.
A wave of memories invaded her mind. Times where they were happy, times where being in love was the only thing that matter for them.
His room. A place Y/N loved but now was bittersweet to stand in. She placed her bags on his bed, allowing her palm to touch the white sheets and closing her eyes for a second.
His bed. Where thousands of promises were made through soft whispers and tender touches. She remembered how Harry would promise her it would always be them against the world, how he bowed he’d never leave her alone, loving her until the end of times, through thick and thin. No matter the situation, it’d always be just them. Just Y/N and Harry.
And she, being her, believed him blindly.
It seemed like Harry forgot all those things along with so many others. Along with the fact that today would’ve been their fourth year together, not that it mattered anymore.
Once her bags were full, she let herself have one last look at the room that used to be her favorite room in the entire house. She took out the promise ring Harry had given her a year prior, letting it rest on his nightstand.
Just like last night, Y/N had two options. She could either leave now, or she could stay and wait for him for one last goodbye.
And this time, she chose the first option, and didn’t look back.
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fleshbarbie · 4 years
Text
Same, but different. (Part 3).
Summary: Billy and reader don’t particularly like each other, Billy thinks you’re a snob, you think Billy is an asshole with anger issues. That’s until the party starts to hang out more at your house, meaning Billy is there more often than not (because of Max) and that’s when you both find out you’re more alike than you think.
- not the biggest fan of where this ends, but this has taken way too long to write i really just wanted to get it posted! again, thanks for all the lovely comments so far i really appreciate it!! i think there’s gonna be two-three more parts of this but i’m not completely sure yet <33
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A content sigh left your lips as your eyes wandered around the newly cleaned kitchen, it had only been an hour since you and Alice had finished eating the dinner you prepared and now she was upstairs getting herself ready for bed. That meant you had the next few hours to yourself until you decided you needed to get some sleep too. Throwing the towel down onto the counter, you left the room and began making your way to your bedroom where your study materials awaited your arrival. There were a thousand things you’d much rather do than force yourself to learn all the bullshit information you needed for the upcoming exams, but unfortunately you had too much to get through and not a lot of time.
You sat at your desk, and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen from your messy bun behind your ear before you grasped at the pen that had been laid on your textbook whilst you were downstairs. It had only been a few minutes when you decided you were already fed up with the words sprawled out on the sheet in front of you, none of it made sense and all it did was stress you out. You were definitely failing.
A loud knock echoed throughout the almost empty house which made you jump in your spot, but once you had recovered from the initial shock you were almost pleased to have a distraction from the seemingly endless amount of work you had to finish. You wasted no time jumping out of your chair and rushing down the stairs that creaked under your weight, however any relief that flew through your body left the second you saw who was stood at your front door. The cold air from outside invaded your house the second the door opened, and almost like deja vu there again stood Billy Hargrove.
This time though, his demeanor was different to the last time, or any other time you had seen the boy throughout your day-to-day life. He was usually stood tall and confident, a cocky look always displayed on his handsome features and a pep in his step. This time, he was hunched over almost, avoiding eye contact with you as if he didn’t want to be seen. It was weird.
“I told you to call me if Max showed up here, (Y/N). Is that too confusing for you?”
He was in a bad mood, clearly. His voice was rough as if he had been shouting prior to showing up here, and you wondered what had led to that.
“She’s not here. Nobody’s been here, Alice didn’t feel like being around people tonight.” You shrugged.
He finally looked at you after that, his brows furrowed in both confusion and frustration. That’s when your vision caught sight of something that made your stomach churn. There was a purple bruise that spread from his upper cheek to above his right eyebrow, along with a small gash that was under his right eye. It looked fresh, blood still leaked from the wound and the bruise clearly hadn’t finished forming.
“Billy, oh my god. Are you okay? What happened?” You approached him slowly, afraid that any sudden movements would send him running.
When you were close enough, you reached your hand up to grip his jaw gently, moving his head to get better lighting on the marks. He remained silent as you did, watching your eyes swarm with concern - something he wasn’t used to. Not just from you, but from anybody. Because at the end of the day.. did anybody really care about him? Max didn’t, Susan didn’t, his Dad definitely didn’t. He had nobody.
“It’s nothing. Just got into a fight with this asshole awhile ago, nothing special.” He broke from his daydream and took a step back, allowing your hand to fall from its place.
You nodded, though you knew he was just giving you any old excuse to shut you up. His knuckles were clean, no signs of any altercation and when did Billy ever have a fight and not get any hits in? But you didn’t say anything. Only glanced back into your house for a second, before returning your gaze to him.
“You wanna come in? I’m not a trained nurse or anything but, I know the basics.” You offered him a smile, “Gotta make sure that doesn’t get infected.”
He pondered your offer for a few seconds, his gaze lingering on you as he did. You felt nervous all of a sudden, his eyes burning into your figure had you twiddling your fingers and you wanted to hit yourself for acting like a lovestruck teen. But you couldn’t help it, it felt like he was looking into your soul.
“I can’t.” He finally spoke, and your shoulders fell in disappointment. “I have to find Max, get her home before my Dad.. starts worrying.”
You nodded in understanding, “That’s fair. Try Mike’s, if she’s not here she’s usually there.”
His lips curved into a grateful smile, “Thanks. See you around I guess?”
“Yeah. See you around.”
His eyes maintained contact with yours for a second longer, before he turned his back to you and stalked back to his car. He drove off and you watched him as he did, with an unusual feeling in your stomach.
It was almost two o’clock in the morning and you were just getting into bed, having completed your work. It took a lot of effort but you were glad it was finally over and done with. You had slipped on an old shirt and some fluffy shorts before diving into bed excited to sleep until the alarm you had set was sure to wake up up at 7am tomorrow.
You had literally only just gotten comfortable, the duvet thrown over your figure and your pillow perfectly positioned when a tapping sound came from your window. You sat up, confused and annoyed. All you wanted to do was sleep, not deal with whatever was behind the curtain. The sound happened again, making you groan when you realised whoever it was wasn’t going to go away until you dealt with them. If you weren’t so annoyed by the disturbance, you’d probably be running to Alice’s room by now begging her to let you sleep in there for the night.
You took the end of the curtain in your hand and pulled it across your window, opening it with force.
“Billy?” You questioned, brows furrowed at the sight of him crouched outside your bedroom window.
He looked the same as he did when you last saw him outside your house a few hours ago, the only difference being that now he looked tired which wasn’t surprising given the current time. You slid your window open, allowing the blonde to climb into your room with ease. You shut it once again when his feet hit the floor, not wanting the cold air to flood your bedroom.
“You know, you could’ve just used the front door.” You commented, watching him as he observed your room.
“Well obviously.” He spoke, finally turning to face you. “But I didn’t wanna wake anyone else up, thought your window would be my safest bet.”
You nodded before gesturing for him to take a seat on the edge of your bed, “Sit. Let me get some stuff to clean your face.”
You didn’t bother waiting for him to listen to your demands, instead you walked straight to your bathroom and grabbed the bits and pieces that you used whenever Alice ended up hurting herself. She was an adventurous child who loved the outdoors, she was always coming home with scraped knees and scratches on her arms so you kept a small box in the cupboard under the sink that contained the essentials.
You found it underneath a towel, and quickly returned to your room where Billy was sat on your bed, fiddling with the thin blanket that had been pushed to the end of the mattress when you got up almost five minutes ago now. You sat beside him, thighs touching which made your insides go fuzzy for a second, this was the closest you’d ever been to the boy since you’d met.
He stopped messing with the blanket and looked over to you.
Being this close meant you could see all the stuff you hadn’t been able to see before. The way his eyes were a few shades lighter than you had originally thought, the freckles that were scattered in a few different places, the slit in his brow that made him look that little bit more attractive. Maybe the two of you never got along that well, but even if you weren’t fond of him you’d be stupid to deny how breathtaking he looked even on his bad days.
You shook your head to rid you of the thoughts currently devouring your mind, and instead you showed him the things you had in your hand. “You ready?”
He didn’t even look at what you had, his eyes remained on you whilst he nodded slowly. Just like you, being this close meant he was able to notice all the things about you that he hadn’t noticed before and it was making him feel a way he hadn’t felt with anyone else. It scared him, he didn’t want to feel this way it was bound to end badly for him. But he couldn’t help it.
You grabbed an antiseptic wipe, using your spare hand to angle his face properly so you could lightly dab the wipe on the wound that was now surrounded by dried blood. He winced at the contact at first, but soon relaxed the more it went on. It only took one wipe to get rid of any blood, and so you moved on to cover the injury with a plain white bandaid.
“I don’t need a bandaid.” He grumbled, reaching up to get rid of it but you quickly grabbed his hand to stop him.
“Just for tonight, you don’t have to leave it on for school.” You informed him and so with a reluctant sigh, he dropped his arm.
You then let your eyes wander the bruise that had swollen more over the hours, and you stood from your spot.
“I’m gonna get you some ice, or else that’s gonna be twice the size when you wake up.”
“Okay.”
With that, you left your room and carefully made your way downstairs in hopes that you didn’t wake Alice. She’d want to know what you were up to, not being able to go back to sleep until she was told and if she found out Billy Hargrove was in your bedroom waiting for some ice she’d probably interrogate you until the sun made an appearance.
A door slammed shut just as you made it into the kitchen, and you whipped your head around, your heart freezing at the sight of your Mother stumbling through the front door. She was definitely drunk, probably high too. She could barely walk two steps without tripping, you couldn’t help but sigh at the state she was in. Approaching the woman you were supposed to look up to, she noticed you walking towards her and a goofy smile covered her face.
“Hey baby! What’re you doing up? Don’t you have school in the morning?” Her words were slurred, her arms clung onto you as her failed attempt to give you a hug.
“I’m just getting a drink, woke up thirsty.” You lied, leading her over to the couch. She probably wouldn’t have even cared if you told her the real reason why you were out of bed.
“Oh. Okay.” She hiccuped, happily spreading her limbs out as she got comfortable.
You quickly grabbed a blanket, draping it over her body before taking off her heels and placing them at the end of the couch. Taking a step back you realised your Mom was already half asleep, her eyes closed and her mouth hung open. A sight you had grown familiar with over the years.
Content with how you’d left her, you went back to the kitchen and grabbed the ice you had originally came for before making your way to the stairs as quietly as you could but then she spoke, which made you come to a halt.
“You’re a good kid, you know that? I love you and I love A-Alice too. I’m gonna change baby, I promise. Mommy’s gonna change.”
You rolled your eyes at the empty promise you had received for the past two years. She said it everyday almost but never had she made the effort to keep the promise, by now you were well aware it was never gonna happen. You didn’t bother to say anything back, only continued your journey to your room where Billy was still waiting for your return.
You quickly slipped into the dimly lit room and laid back against the door the second it was shut. You let out a breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding and looked over to the boy still sat on your bed, who was staring right back at you.
“Was that your Mom?” He asked, scooting over so you could sit next to him once again.
You nodded, getting comfortable in the space he had made for you. “Yeah. She worked late, only just made it home.”
He probably would’ve believed you, not giving any second thought to what you had said if it wasn’t for the fact that Max had already revealed everything he needed to know.
“Here.” You held out the ice pack for him to grab, which he gladly took from you without a second thought.
“Thanks.” He muttered, hissing quietly once the ice pressed to his bruised face.
“So..” You trailed off, feeling a little awkward due to the sudden silence. “Do you plan on sleeping here? Because I mean it is almost three in the morning and we do have school. No offence, but I’d much rather be sleeping right now than speaking to you.”
He shot you a look, nudging you gently with his elbow. “Shut up, any girl would kill to be in your position right now. Billy Hargrove, in their bedroom, vulnerable.”
You rolled your eyes at the comment, “Yeah well, unfortunately for you I don’t have a weird obsession with you. So if you’re looking to fool around, I suggest you find someone else to do it with.”
“No, no I’m not.” He shook his head, the ice pack still pressed to his face. “But I do need somewhere to stay for tonight. I’ll owe you one.”
You stared at him for a few seconds, weighing the pros and cons of letting the boy stay in your bed for the night. Eventually you shrugged, standing from your spot.
“Fine. But no funny business Hargrove or else you can sleep outside.”
He laughed at that which made you smile, before you gestured to the bed. “Left side’s mine, don’t get drool on my pillow.”
-
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scandeniall · 4 years
Text
no limit to you
pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x reader
summary: “Knew right from the start there was no limit to you.” sakusa’s gonna go far and you know it. a look at your relationship throughout some months. (Started out based on Feels by Kehlani but yeah that went left)
warnings: profanity, starts as college students, manga spoilers about career. implied sex, little bit of angst but for like 10 seconds. 
wc: 5.4k holy shit this took me all week
Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, month 6 
“He is the Black Jackals big and promising rookie,” Your heart couldn’t help but swell with pride as the speaker's voice carried across the gym (?). Despite the less theatrical introductions awarded to MSBY you couldn’t help but cheer loudly even yelling out the stupid nickname given to Sakusa by his teammates. One that he insists that he hates. “Go, omi-omi!” To anyone else it’d just look like another stale glance at the speaker, but you didn’t miss the tiniest of smile that graces his face. 
It’s his time to shine and you’re by his side to witness it all. — Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Month 3 
The sound of rain pounding against the building mixed with the sound of landing volleyballs and squeaking shoes. The men’s volleyball practice is approaching hour 3 and despite Sakusa insisting that you could have just headed back to your apartment you were there anyways. One reason for it was because you knew with him living so close he didn’t drive to campus and despite his tendencies for cleanliness, that’d he’d swallow his pride enough to catch a ride with one of his teammates to avoid the torrential downpour. You figured he’d at least appreciate a ride from you, whose car he knew was relatively clean instead (clean mostly because he always made cleaning and disinfecting your car a “couple activity” every weekend). Another reason was simply because you missed him and was ready to propose getting dinner together. Waiting for him wasn’t a problem anyways, the row of tables overlooking the gym were quite spacious and you utilized the time to get some procrastinated work done. As your small break and time spent switching between the same 3 apps comes to an end you pull up your Snapchat one last time the camera zooming in on sakusa for a few seconds with the caption “a superstar”. You knew Sakusa would frown and scold you for it later (the guy hates being put on stupid Snapchat), but also knew he secretly like when you showed how proud you were. The man was truly destined for greatness and you knew there were no limits to how far he could go. Of course with the relative newness of your relationship, you’ve never told him that. After one last check to make sure the video posts, music flows back into your ears as you began the last hour stretch. “You could’ve gone home you know.” Was the first thing you heard the second the dark haired male sat in the chair in front of you. Plucking your earbuds out all you could do was shrug. “Now is that anyway to greet your cinnamon apple,” you laughed at the displeased look on his face, or more so in his eyes. He must've put his mask on before leaving the locker room. Sakusa was never really one for nicknames and whenever you’d call yourself something from a vine from a thousand years ago he couldn’t hide the scowl on his face. 
“All done for the day?” At his nod of assurance you start packing up your bag as Sakusa just watched. He cringed at how you chaotically just packed your papers and laptop into your bag. No folders, or even a ouch for writing utensils. He’d have to get you one. As you finished picking up and fished your keys out of your bag’s pocket you notice Sakusa pull his mask down as he crossed to step in front of you. Placing a quick kiss on your lips, “thank you for waiting.” — Tap. Tap. Tap. Click. Tap. The sounds of scribbling mixed alongside flipped pages and the soft conversations of fellow library goers. The words of the textbook in front of you were beginning to look like gibberish and with that cane even more unconscious fiddling of your pen, a fact not lost on your boyfriend. The sound being so close and frequent broke him out of his own focus bubble. When you insisted the two of you have a study date, you were unsurprisingly met with the excuse of neither of you having the same major. “It doesn’t matter, we can just sit in the library. It’s spending quality time together Kiyoomi,” you’d told him. And it was true, sort of. After you’d finally got into the groove of studying, time seemed to fly and just knowing he was there was comforting enough. “(Y/N). You’re distracting me.” Sakusa was too blunt for his own good sometimes. All you could offer was a mumbled half assed apology, watching as he attempted to focus on his work again. You however? Were done for the time being, deciding to preoccupy yourself with your phone and taking not so sneaky glances at the man sitting in front of you. 
“If you paid as much attention to your work as you did me, you’d be doing better in that class.” Maybe he had a point, but who cared. It's not like you were failing the course. Taking another glace up you manage to catch his eye before responding.
“But you're prettier.”
--
Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Month 7
You felt the dip in the bed first. A warm hand resting softly on your back next. Finally your favorite person’s voice. “You're coming to the game right.” You were so tired that you couldn't  even be bothered to turn and face the voice.
“Of course. First home game in a while,” you hum out, eyes still closed basking in the softness of the blanket. The weather had been terrible for the past week, completely draining any energy and remaining motivation you had to finish the rest of the semester. Sakusa, on the other hand, had seemingly been unaffected and you envied his tunnel vision like nature. “I can’t wait to see you win y’know.” Sakusa thanked his lucky stars, that your eyes were still closed, because if not you may have seen the red that dusted the tops of his ears. You could hear the sound of hangars knocking in the closet before inquiring about the noise.
“You don’t have a clean jersey for tomorrow’s game right.” He knew that you had a general school fan jersey, but he meant something more specific. One with his number on the back.  
“Nothing is guaranteed. The other team is pretty good too.”
“Yeah well, you're better.” --
Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 1 If you heard one last critiquing remark from your boyfriend you were going to scream. Or kill him, which currently sounded like the better option. It started with him telling you your kitchen smelled weird, the food cooked hours earlier obviously not Sakusa approved. Next came him cringing as he inquired when was the last time you or roommate had vacuumed the living room. Then came his annoyed look when he noticed your skincare products all over the bathroom counter because you had to rush out this morning. The last straw came as he said something about you getting germs all over your face as you dug the palms of your hands into your eyes. While that one had some validity you were fucking tired. School was sucking, your coworkers are annoying and your boyfriend is a fucking dick. “Can you not try to not be a germaphobe asshole for two seconds, Sakusa,” you exclaim, not even bothering to face him from your spot at your desk. “Do better with cleaning then.” 
“What are you, my dad.”
“If I were, you’d know how to clean up properly.”
It was official. Sakusa, Kiyoomi fucking sucks. The tension in the air had grown. Between your pissed stress related retorts and sakusa’s stupid passive aggressive insults the two of you had navigated far away from just arguing about germs. You’d both begun bringing up past situations and feelings that you’d both previously kept buried. 
“Half the time I don’t even know if you fucking like me.” That was a lie. He cared and you knew it. But former insecurities paired with his generally aloof nature whenever the two of you were in public caused you to mention it. Insecurties concerning how he was on his way to something great, and that he’d leave you behind with a stupid college degree that you didn’t even know how you were going to use. You’d long abandoned your desk chair, opting to pace around the room. If his eyes were knives, you’d be long dead with the way he was glaring. You hadn’t noticed, but Sakusa even pulled his mask down to engage in this argument. 
“Well thats just stupid. But since you're bringing it up, do you even like me,” Sakusa sneered causing you to stop in place.“You’re going out an awful lot these days. Partying more than you used to, aren’t you.” Your state of disbelief hadn’t been lost on him, in fact you looked as if you were going to start laughing at any moment. The way he condescendingly spoke your name sent chills down your spine. “Can’t help but wonder what you’re doing.”
“Oh so now I’m cheating-.” 
“I’m just pointing out what I’ve noticed.” He’d hit the realization that he messed up the second the insinuation left his lips. However, he was too far in and so were you. He’d have to make it up to you later, he began to think. Until your humourless laugh filled the air, striking a cord in him, bigger than you’d ever done. This entire night you’d been a ticking time bomb, and were ready to explode. 
“Now why the fuck, would I put up with you if I didn’t love you. A year of my life just wasted huh.” The revelation of your love causes Sakusa to pause. Of course the two of you loved one another. It was shown in the little actions. But, until now neither of you had ever uttered the three words to one another.
“(Y/N-)”
“Newsflash, Kiyoomi, you're not an easy person to love. You nag me about shit that only bothers you, and I put up with it. I can’t even come around you with mismatched socks”
“You never want to go out to any kind of party with me and I want you there, yet I’m always willing to go out when you have to with the team.”
“You barely even show that you like me in public. I’ve had friends ask me are we even really dating.”
The end of your rant was accompanied by silence on both of your ends. You were drained. Your throat hurt and your eyes stung. But more importantly your heart ached.  Despite the tears building at the back of your eyes you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Sakusa on the other hand was deep in thought. The tug on his heartstrings at your admittance was foreign. He didn’t want to say anything to further upset you, and had gotten to know you enough to know you’d want to be alone after a time like this. 
The hand that grabbed yours almost felt foreign as Sakusa led you towards your bed. The already long day ending with a quick kiss against your temple, a promise to see you later, and an aching heart. 
--
“Did you and Sakusa- like break up or something,” your friend inquired. It's been 9 days since you’d last heard from Sakusa, and your mopey mood hadn’t gone unnoticed by your friends. On top of you being unusually downcast they noticed that you hadn’t attended the most recent match. You always went to home games. You already had to deal with the aftermath of your roommate being home and hearing your argument that night, you hadn’t exactly been that quiet during the ordeal. 
The next morning marked the start of the weekend, which you’d spent a large part of the day in bed. In the middle of you bothering to fix dinner, your roommate had come home interrupting your pity party. You liked your roommate, you did and the two of you were friendly. But the two of you definitely were not best friends and for them to come home and see you for the first time post argument- awkward. 
“Yo- (Y/N), did you hear me? You and Sakusa break up or something,” your friend repeated, breaking you out of your wandering thoughts. “Or something,” you muttered bitterly. The lunch in front of you suddenly looked unappealing. The melting ice cubes floating in your drink taking away your attention. 
Just as you began to take your mind off Sakusa in preparation to try and have a relatively normal weekend, your friend just had to bring him up. You loved her, but she was a dumbass for that one. Your entire car ride home you turned on your breakup playlist one you’d made during the demise of your last relationship back in highschool. Something about Miley Cyrus’ 7 Things felt more relatable than ever now that you were older. 
Entering your apartment, you waved a greeting to your roommate who looked strangely happy. “Oh (Y/N), you’ve got a gift.” Ok- why the hell was she so cheery about a gift to you. Eying her suspiciously, your roommate pointed past you and your eyes widened.
“Who-”
“Who do you think? Dropped them off a little over an hour ago. Looked disappointed when he realized you weren’t here.”
You half mumbled something kin of appreciation for telling you as you walked toward the kitchen table to see a bouquet of roses, and a card with neatly scribbled handwriting you recognized immediately. 
“One rose for every month of putting up with me being a germophobic asshole. Google also said roses meant love. Hope you like them.
P.s: i missed you at the game (and in general)”
14 roses. He even included the two months where you teetered the line between friends and partners. You couldn’t help but laugh at his use of your word choice to describe him. You hadn’t even noticed your roommate peering over your shoulder until she spoke. “He means well. You two should work it out.” If you weren’t planning to before you sure as hell were going to now. “Yeah,” you mused. “You're right.
The gears in your head were absolutely turning, thinking about how you’d reach back out to Sakusa. Obviously he’d been the bigger person and made the first contact, and yeah he was definitely being a jerk that night, but so were you. You were so caught in your own thoughts as you made your way down the short hallway to your room that you hadn’t even noticed the slight rustling. Opening your door you were met with an even bigger surprise. 
Sakusa. In your room, gloved up, vacuum out-He was cleaning? Your room?. Your brain short circuits as you were at a loss for words.
“Kiyoomi?” The sound of your roommate teasing telling you two to keep it down went beyond your span of comprehension as you just stood in the doorway. “You should close the door. 
---
After you got past the initial shock of seeing Sakusa, he’d taken his gloves off and sat on your bed wordlessly patting the spot next to him. After a brief moment of silence you were the first one to speak. Afterall, he did take the first step at mending your relationship. Now it's your turn. “I’m sorry Kiyoomi. For snapping at you, questioning how you felt when I knew better. I was a bitch for that one. 
“I’m sorry. I was wrong. I knew how stressed you were already and made it worse. I know how you get when you're upset, and came to straighten up for you.”
“Thanks for that one. I’ll admit, it was starting to bother me too.” A silence filled the air as you shifted closer. Enough so that you could rest your head on his shoulder. 
“I know you’re not cheating on me-“
“Wow, how did you figure that out. You are SO smart,” you faked gasped. The  teasing comment released any lingering tension between you and before you knew it Sakusa had his normal frowny face at you. The one he tended to get when you jokingly teased or annoyed him. One, never meant with any malice. A softer one reserved just for you. The moment passed quickly and as you removed your head from his shoulder you eyed him seriously. “I wouldn't do that Yoomi. You know that right?”
The thought of him even thinking you’d ever cheat on him didn’t sit right with you. In fact, it had been the main reason you were upset. You could work past anything else said. But that one? You needed to acknowledge it. Your question had been answered when you felt a hand gently rest on the side of your neck pulling you gently towards him. You were so close that you could feel the move of his lips as he reaffirmed what was already known. “I love you too (Y/N). The universe seemed to stop as Sakusa's lips moved softly against yours. you had moved your lingering hand to wrap around the wrist touching you, rubbing gentle circles on his inner wrist. A hold that unconsciously tightens as you felt his tongue languidly slip into your mouth and explore.This kiss was different than any you’d ever shared before. Different from the quick kisses shared when you’d two part ways at the end of dates. Different than the domineering good luck kisses given in quiet hallways outside the locker room before games. Than the tired kisses he’d reluctantly give because your tired whining grated his nerves. Hell, even different than the kisses shared the first time you two had sex. Those were just awkward. This kiss? Was loving. You two loved one another. Those feelings had been made more than clear to the other person. The universe always told you that falling in love too fast and too young would end in disaster. But you’d risk that if you could feel like this everyday. 
The need for air forced the two of you to pull away. In that time Sakusa had shifted the two of you so that he was resting against the headboard of your bed, your knees resting on the side of his knees. One hand on your thigh, other resting on your back. He looked so pretty like that. Puffy lips, heavily breathing, and with so much love for you. There was no doubt you looked the same. The rest of his forehead on your shoulder allowed you to gently play with his hair. 
“I’ll work on the other things too. But don’t expect me to take care of your drunk ass every weekend.”
--
Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 1, Month 10 
“How’s it going Mr MVP.” You pushed your body off the chilled brick, as you eyed your boyfriend up and down. He looked good, really good. He’d just finished the last game of his collegiate career, one that had been won. Not only that, but he had been named MVP and a rookie to look out for going into Division 1 post graduation. 
You shifted your hands towards his face but before you could even rest them near you he stopped you with a mini hand sanitizer dangling in your face. “I’m sure you touched that brick while waiting.” After your hands were as sanitized as they could be, you hovered your hands over the corner of his mask, silently asking for permission to lower it. Once you got the go ahead, and felt his hands resting on your hips you pulled him down for a sweet kiss. After pulling away you left your hands wrapped around his neck and began playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. 
“You’re a fucking superstar Yoomi. You’re gonna go so far.” You revealed the thoughts that had been in the back of your mind since you met him. And it was true. You knew he’d been looking at a few professional teams, and no matter where he’d go the sky was the limit. 
“Now c’mon. It’s party time babe. Last college win celebration,” you cheered pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, and pulling his mask back out. You followed up by reaching into the pocket of his track jacket to pull out his car key. He kept true with his promise of getting better. Still hated unnecessary crowds, but was willing to sacrifice it occasionally to accompany you to celebratory parties. Granted he tended to hang out on less populated hallways, even better when parties continued outside. More space to move. The mask also stayed on. College kids are gross. 
—-
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you noticed your boyfriend move from his spot on the couch. The two of you had decided on a lazy movie night before the official finals grind began. Dead week was nearly here, and you knew the two of you would have little time to actually hang out. With the end of volleyball season, you’d been spending more time at Sakusa’s place deciding to just head there after class because it was closer. “Yoomi where are you going,” the wording came out more needed than you intended. You didn’t receive an answer, instead met with him disappearing in his room. You decided to just pause the movie, pulling out your phone to reply to a few text messages. Just as you hit send a Manila envelope was placed in your peripheral and Sakusa settled back into his corner of the couch. 
“What’s this,” you questioned, shifting so that you were looking at Sakusa. The only thing you were gifted with was a shrug and a motion to open the envelope. You hesitated a moment before your eyes widened
“Wait. Kiyoomi is this…”. The confident smirk told you everything you needed to know. This was it. There was no secret that Sakusa was most likely going to go pro after graduation, but no one knew what team he’d end up playing for. He’d had many people; Professors, coaches,teammates, acquaintances, parents ask what he planned on doing now that graduation was essentially on your doorsteps. No one ever got an answer out of him, including you. He hadn’t even hinted at any team preference to you, brushing it off and changing the subject whenever you tried to see where his head was. 
“Are you gonna open it or just stare.” You noted the slight waver in his voice, one that would have gone unnoticed to any ear untrained in the study of Sakusa Kiyoomi. You didn’t even know why you were so nervous, it wasn’t even your career. Taking a deep breath you pulled out the stack of papers, eyes drifting to the first paragraph mumbling the words aloud. 
“We are excited to have you. We welcome your commitment to MSBY Black Jackals-“ you would have dropped the stack of papers had you not had them tugged out of your tight grip and placed on the table in front of you. “Holy shit,” you exclaimed, launching yourself at your boyfriend (uncomfortably knocking him against the corner of the couch, but he’d let you have this moment.)
Next you started babbling about how proud you were of him in between kisses all over his face. (Another thing he’d let you have for the moment despite the feel of your lip balm also sticking onto his face”). You were so happy for him, that you didn’t even notice the blush making its way on his face. His hand settling themselves on your waist, he basked in the attention from you. 
When the shock managed to wear off, you had settled yourself into his lap. Sitting sideways, you had one hand playing with his hair, the other picking up your phone to record a video. 
“And today, we have the greatest volleyball player in the world commuting to the greatest team in the world,” you beamed the front camera on you both. 
“Look at that future (Y/N), Yoomi isn’t even swatting the camera away tonight. Looks like he looooooves me for once-“
“I always love you. You’re just annoying sometimes.” The jest was meant with a light kiss on your clothed shoulder before you continued, this time facing Sakusa instead of the camera
“Y’know. I knew right from the start there was no limit to you,” you spoke softly, eyes beaming.
“Is that so.” A real smile graced his face, as you moved the hand previously playing with his hair to gently trace over the moles on his face. “Thank you for believing.” You felt Sakusa take your phone from you cutting the camera. What took place after, definitely didn’t need to be caught on camera. 
The sun is beaming. The weather is incredible . You were high on happiness, adrenaline, pride and maybe a little bit of caffeine as you currently posed for what felt like your millionth picture in the past 5 minutes. You hadn’t even found your family yet, surrounded by 100s of your peers all celebrating the same accomplishment. You did it. You were a college graduate. You had a degree. You felt another tap on your shoulder, as you happily screamed to your friend you’d made being in the same program. 
“Dude I can't believe it!”
“Dude me either!” As the two of you took a quick selfie, your mind wandered to where and how Sakusa was doing. You hadn't seen him at all yet considering you both spent the mornings with your families who came into town. You wondered how he was doing with this whole thing. There were a shit ton of people out here after all. Before you could dwell on it, you felt your phone vibrate with none other than the man himself. You chuckled, already sending his irritation through the message as he told you to come to walk west, at the very edge of the crowd that was growing by the minute in the center. You sent a quick text to your mom about where you’d be, knowing your family were going to want a ton of pictures even with Sakusa. 
Your excitement grew further if even possible as you finally found him, throwing your arms around his neck into a tight hug, swaying the both of you. “We did it, Sakusa,” you said, finally pulling away and eying him. He’d taken his cap off already, opting for holding it instead, and having unzipped his gown. 
“We have degrees now,” he confirmed using his free hand to grab yours. “It’s too many people here.” All you could do was laugh as you eyed the control chaos going on just across the courtyard from you. You felt an odd sense of peace, just watching. The flowers planted just for graduation season even looked beautiful. Something you may not have paid nearly as much attention to had you not been dating Sakusa. 
In fact, if you weren’t dating him you knew you’d be in the middle of the chaos right now. Still happy no doubt, but being able to get away from it even for a few minutes felt amazing. You’d both be thrown back into it in a matter of minutes, squeezing in the last set of pictures with best friends and holding conversations with people you’d have to get used to not seeing several times a week. You knew that Sakusa was almost guaranteed to be forced into a picture with the other graduating volleyball players. 
“My families heading over I’m sure,” you hummed bringing your eyes back to Sakusa's profile. The look on his face slightly confuses you. You couldn’t quite tell if it were nerves, irritation, or just a result of squinting from the bright sun. 
“We’re gonna have to head back in soon”
“Do you want to move in with me”
The two of you spoke simultaneously. It was official. This is one of the best days of your life. 
--
Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, Month 4 
“I’m gonna start dinner alright,” you called out as you pulled on one of Sakusa’s clean practice shirts and a pair of his old college sweats. Yes they were big,but they were more comfy than your own. Besides it was nothing a little, (read;a lot) of rolling and cuffing couldn’t fix. It was also his time of the month where you let him control the thermostat, and you’re cold! You’d just gotten out of the shower, him getting in shortly after coming home from a training day. The gym showers only do so much and he needed his own body wash is what he insisted the first time he came home and rushed immediately towards the bathroom. 
You pulled out the sheet of paper with a recipe printed on it, courtesy of your co-worker. Earlier in the week you mentioned how you were craving chicken but no other recipe in your arsenal seemed appealing. Lo and behold you were given a sheet of paper with a recipe that apparently his family loved after experimenting with a few online recipes. 
Before beginning you connect your phone to your speaker hitting shuffle. You manage to get all the ingredients out before a large knock sounds at your door. Confused, you yell out asking Sakusa if he was expecting anyone. You noticed the sounds of the shower ceased a few minutes ago, and that Sakusa would likely come to keep you company (more like sanitize the spice bottles the second you put one down.)
“Of course not,” with a shrug your wash your hands before gently opening the door. There’s a man. An attractive one- who looks oddly familiar. Wait, that guy is on Black Jackals, you note. Miya, Atsumu. 
“Um hi,” you greet sounding more like a question, opening the door a bit wider. 
“Shit! Did I come to the wrong apartment? I'm looking for Omi-Omi,” you noticed him trail off eyeing the shirt you were wearing. Omi-Omi? Sakusa must’ve heard him because the way he sprinted into the living room showed a scowl evident on his face. It even caused you to back up as Atsumu entered in. 
“Why are you here. And how did you find where I live,” sakusa for right to the point. 
“Aw c’mon Omi-Omi what if I missed ya. You left your earbuds in the locker room. Turned on you find my friends and matched the mailbox.” The glare on Sakusa’s face was one you recognized only when you genuinely irritated him. Not the one where he pretended to be annoyed but secretly wasn’t. 
“But enough about that. How come you didn’t tell me you were dating. I thought we were friends. Omi-Omi,” Atsumu whined out arms crossing over his chest. As you were looking at his arms/ respectfully/ you jumped in a teasing pout of your own. 
“Yeah Omi-Omi. Not telling your friends about me. A shame”
“Not you too.”
Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, Month 6 
“You excited,” your question causes another wave of conversation between the men in the pre waiting area. Warmups were set to start in about 20 minutes. Shortly after you met Atsumu, he’d insisted you be introduced to the entire team. Afterall, other significant others got to hang out sometimes. Today was the day. Sakusa’s biggest match of his professional career yet. MSBY Black Jackals V Schweiden Adlers.
Receiving a mix of enthusiastic expletives, you turn towards your boyfriend who has yet to answer, prompting you to tease asking if he were nervous. 
“No. We’re going to win,”
“That's the spirit Omi-Omi! Gonna beat Wakatoshi this time,” This time you bit back your laugh, smirking at the Miya twin’s jest. You loved getting able to take a break from being annoying.  Sakusa, as per usual, noticed it. Getting up he motioned, that you follow him outside, ignoring the teases of getting a good luck kiss. 
The minute you two rounded the corner of the hallway, a warm hand enveloped yours. Your confused look prompts your boyfriend to cage you against the corner of the wall. His unoccupied hand resting against the side of your head.”
“I am excited.” While his expression remained unchanged, The look in his eyes said it all. It was the same twinkle he showed that time you two made up after admitting your love. And the one present after revealing his commitment to MSBY to you. “And you are going to win,” your reiteration caused a soft smile to catch his face. 
“Here's to you and your first major game Kiyoomi. And to many more because you're a star. Now go win.” 
a/n: well this has been a roller coaster. I challenged myself to write 5k words, and 95% of this was written at like 3am bc thats when i go to sleep. I also did this to try and gain a feel for him so i can finish his part in good & the bad  series. I really do be hoping this aint too ooc, bc while im caught up on the happenings of the manga from spoilers and twitter, i haven't actually gotten around to reading that far myself. also sorry for shitty formatting, ive never actually written a single body with this many words in a singular part ??? also i didnt edit this past google doc feature sooooo
anyways i did work hard and on this for the past week in between finals as a college junior so any comments and feedback are appreciated 
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roxa-sos · 4 years
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before you go - jj maybank
jj maybank x ex-pogue!reader
tw; it’s a lil angsty (n o, it’s pretty angsty) mention of sex. sad sad. v sad.
request: “can you write an imagine with jj based on the song before you go by lewis capaldi”
a/n -- i don’t listen to lewis capaldi but this song is really good?? like i listened to it once and just. damn. i LOVE writing song fics bc i can’t write unless i have music playing, so plsplspls send more requests for songs :)
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i fell by the wayside like everyone else i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, but i was just kidding myself our every moment, i start to replace ‘cause not that they’re gone, all i hear are the words that i needed to say
you grew up in the outer banks. an only child, the pogue’s golden girl, best friends with jj maybank since you were ten. you were the golden girl of the outer banks. cool enough to hang around the pogues and be one yourself, but hot enough to have some kook eyes on you. peaceful, funny, but you always declined when people chased after you. 
jj maybank had a shitty dad. a deadbeat mom. but he was your best friend. you had millions of memories of you two at the beach, him teaching you to surf when you were twelve, the two of you being the worst and best things that had ever happened to your side of the island.
when you were fifteen, you could’ve sworn you knew love. your love for your best friend, your love for the dumb boy that woke you up at six in the morning so he could sneak out before your parents found out he spent the night. the boy who made you a pothead. the boy who consumed all of your free time. 
but you’d always been too scared to pursue him. 
so, you fell into the hands of another guy. he was kind of an ass to your friends, but you thought he really cared about you. he brought you flowers, took you to the drive in, spent nights with you, and kissed you until your lips were swollen.
jj hated you for it. he always thought you were replacing him with your boyfriend, and he didn’t like you focusing on someone other than him. he wanted to be the guy who held you on his lap when he was driving the boat, he wanted to be the guy you clung onto at movies, he wanted to be the guy who kissed you until you were out of breath. 
but he wasn’t. 
after six months with your boyfriend, you dad delivered the worst news you’d ever heard. a relocation to upstate new york. and all of the sudden, time slipped through your hands.
when you hurt under the surface like troubled water running cold well, time can heal but this won’t
you told all of the pogues except for jj. 
he hadn’t talked to you unless he had to in months. 
he found out through john b, and he cried. cried angrily after storming out of the chateau, sitting down on the bank next to the lake. he didn’t have any more time with you. 
so, before you go was there something i could’ve said to make your heart beat better? if only i’d known you had a storm to weather
you knew you had three months left in the outer banks. you made the most of your time left with your boyfriend, but jj slowly started coming back to you for company. 
you still hadn’t told him. but he was back. 
you were spending your days and nights with your friends and your boyfriend, and every moment you spent packing was time spent crying your eyes out. 
you were leaving everything you’d ever known. 
but you had jj back, and that made everything seem a little bittersweet. he was coming back to you after all this time, and he didn’t even know you didn’t have any time left together. or so you thought. 
was there something i could’ve said to make it all stop hurting? it kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless so, before you go
“i’m leaving in a month” was how you told jj. it was almost like he already knew, but he had to leave when you told him. and he cried again, the damn boy cried right outside the room you were standing in, breaking your heart. he muttered things to himself, talking about how he was wasting time, but you pretended like you didn’t hear. 
and then, a week before you left, you were spending the night with your boyfriend while your parents were hanging out with friends. jj was at your door, and you had to step outside to talk to him.
“i’m fucking in love with you.”
you didn’t know what to say to him. 
“i have been. for years. and you just... got with him. and i couldn’t say anything, because i want you to be happy, but i can’t keep it to myself knowing that i’m... i’m fucking losing you.” 
you never said anything to him, but you hugged him. and he left. 
when you went inside, your boyfriend broke it off with you. you both knew it was coming, seeing as neither of you could do long distance like that, and he knew you wouldn’t be able to stay committed to someone that you couldn’t have. 
and you were alone. you were alone until you had twenty four hours left in paradise on earth. 
your last night there, you got drunk as hell. you smoked, and the pogues held their little goodbye party for you. at the end of it, when kie had to go home, and pope’s dad picked him up, and john b left you and jj to have your bittersweet ending, you kissed jj. you kissed him hard, and he kissed you back.
you’d probably remember every bit of that night for the rest of your life. 
his hands started on your face, pulling yours into his, then they slid down to hold your waist to make sure you didn’t get away from him in those last hours you had. he hated himself for letting you get away from him for all of those months. he hated you for getting a boyfriend. but he couldn’t spend the rest of that time hating things.
so he loved you instead. it could be classified as a hookup, but it meant more to both of you. by the time you two were laying next to each other in his bed at the chateau, looking up at the ceiling, sweaty and with marks forming on your neck, you were crying. sobbing, you had a breakdown. you couldn’t get those months back. neither could he, but all he could do was hold you and try to make you feel better.
you agreed to stay in contact before you left. you two were going to try to make long distance stuff work. the pogues were all outside your house the day you were supposed to put your suitcase in your dad’s car and drive to the ferries. 
you leaned out the car window, watching them get smaller and smaller as the car drove. jj followed the car for a little bit until he knew it was hopeless, keeping his eyes on you until your dad told you to sit down.
was never the right time, whenever you called went little by little until there was nothing at all our every moment, i start to replay but all i can think about is seeing that look on your face
you and jj left it off on a bad note. you didn’t get your awkward morning after having sex across the hall from john b. you didn’t get a sweet first kiss. it all hurt. but you both tried to get over it as you started off with facetimes once you settled down in your new home.
it always hurt to see him, though. he agreed. you switched to phone calls, scheduled them so you could get ready to hear him.
he missed half of them. in your heart, somewhere, you knew he was moving on. 
so were you. 
back home, he was beating himself up when he flirted with other people. when he spent his time with someone that wasn’t you. but he knew he couldn’t bring himself to hear your voice, much less see your face. he was trying to replace every bad feeling thinking of you gave him, but that meant replacing every moment you two had. 
you were doing the same. finding new people. none of them would ever match jj and the pogues, but you were trying. you held onto everything you had left of jj, but you knew his time in your life was over, or coming to an end. 
would we be better off by now if i’d have let my walls come down? maybe, i guess we’ll never know you know, you know 
the last phone call you two shared ended with tears, but you both knew it was for the best. 
you confided in each other. it hurt, and you told him. he told you the same. 
“i should’ve said something.” he practically shouted, frustrated with himself.
“i should’ve said something, too.” you laughed halfheartedly, choking back another sob. it had been a few months since you’d called, but you needed to have a clean cut. not let things linger.
“i miss you.” all he ever had to say was that he regretted everything he did. all he ever had to say was that he missed you. 
“i miss you too, but you know we’re over, j. i love you.”
“i love you too.” and then the static of the connection cut, and you knew he was gone from you for good. 
a/n -- i just realized that anon probably wanted this song request to be about mental health issues but this made me just as sad as that would’ve so like asldnlanwegvbolande holy FUCK this made my heart hurt. 
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thejolexgroupchat · 4 years
Text
the one where they met in med school - part five
Jo is going through something and Alex is going to figure out what it is
Check out our Master List for parts 1-4 as well as other jolex fics we've been working on!
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———
(May 2007)
Seattle Grace is a disaster zone full of lovesick, horny patients and doctors. It’s like Alex cannot turn a corner without finding someone hooking up or getting hit on. At first, he thinks he’s imagining things because there’s no way that Doctor Montgomery is staring at him like he’s a fresh piece of meat and she’s a hungry lion. They see each other almost everyday as he helps Ava recover and everyday the woman stares him down like she wants to jump him.
And that’s another thing, he was pretty sure that Ava is trying to hit on him too. He knew he was good looking and that his rare soft side has been on full display lately, but for fuck’s sake even his patients? Ava  was easier to handle than Addison, but both women were giving him a run for his money.
“You know, I think she’s trying to get in your pants,” Ava’s voice startled him as he looked up from her chart, brows furrowing as he looked at her. “Doctor Montgomery. She keeps looking at you with those sex eyes, like if I wasn’t here she’d be all over you.”
Well at least he isn’t crazy… Alex heaved a sigh and closed the chart, meeting Ava’s eyes with a smirk, “She can stare all she wants, I am off the market and not interested in one of my superiors dragging me into a supply closet for a quick hookup.”
He could tell Ava was shocked. Who in this death trap isn’t by the fact that Doctor Evil Spawn is tied down? She paused for a moment before a laugh came out, eyes falling to her hands that lay over her swollen belly, “Figures, I knew you were too handsome to be single. Does she work here too? It seems like everyone in this hospital is screwing.”
“No she’s back in Boston, she’ll be here in a few weeks though,” just saying the words out loud makes Alex’s heart flutter. Both Jo and Lexie had been accepted to the next class of interns at Seattle Grace, meaning that as soon as they walked across the stage in June they’d be flying across the country to Seattle. “It’s been too damn long, we’ve been doing long distance for almost a year now.”
“A year? Do you see her ever? I’m sure you’re super busy here,” Ava seemed genuinely curious about Alex and Jo’s relationship, a refreshing take compared to his friends that only asked if he was getting laid or not.
“Yeah we’ve both been out to see each other a few times. I just went there in March actually. It’s not enough, though. It’s not the same,” his mind now occupied with thoughts of his girlfriend, Alex said goodbye to Ava and left her room. He wasn’t even through the doorway of an on-call room before he dialed Jo’s number and waited for her to answer. “Hey you, how’s your day?”
“Fine.”
The one word answer stopped Alex’s heart. Usually, Jo was more than ready to rant about classes or tell him something exciting that she saw on campus. Instead, her monotone voice and lack of words scared him.
So he did the only thing he could think of and decided to call Lexie. The phone went to voicemail twice before it was answered, “Alex what’s going? I’m at work.”
“What’s wrong princess? Bad day?”
“No it’s just been long,” Jo sighed, her voice seeming even further away. “I have a headache, that’s all.”
“I’m sorry babe, if it makes you feel better, one of my patients thinks that my boss is trying to screw me,” Alex’s voice was light hearted as he tried to cheer Jo up, but her frustrated sigh on the other end of the line told him that she didn’t find the situation amusing. “Look, I’m sorry. I thought it was a funny story but-”
“Hey, Lexie. I’m sorry, but is Jo okay?”
“What?” Lexie scrunched her face. “That’s why you’re calling me? I have to get back to the lab.”
“Don’t hang up! It’s just… I called her a few minutes ago and she was acting weird. She was giving me short answers and then she hung up on me. She sounded stressed and nervous. Not school stressed either. I’m worried,” Alex explained.
“I know you two have been together for years, but it still kind of freaks me out whenever I hear you talk like this… Now that you mention it though, Jo has been acting off. Normally she’s really chatty in the evenings, but lately she’s been distracted.”
"Did something happen?" Alex asked.
"Not that I know of… should I get off work early and go check on her?"
"No, it's fine. I'll take care of it. Thanks Lexie," Alex hung up the phone and decided to look for Bailey.
“I gotta go, I’ll call you later,” the line went dead before Alex could say anything else, leaving him to stare down at the phone in his hands in shock. No matter how angry or upset his girlfriend has been she’d never hung up on him like that, not even during their big blowout fight a few weeks before.
After a few minutes of running around the hospital, he finally found Bailey sitting behind the nursing station giving Izzie some instructions about a patient's post-op care, "Dr. Bailey can I speak with you for a moment?"
"Say what you need to say, Karev. Stevens and I are very busy today. I don't have time to waste," Bailey replied without looking up from her charts.
Alex looked up at Izzie who just shrugged and motioned for him to speak, "I need the rest of the day off, the next few days actually."
Bailey looked up from the chart she was writing in, an unimpressed expression on her face, "Excuse me?"
"I know we're swamped and I'm on Ava's case, but I really just need a couple days. There's been a family emergency and I need to catch the next flight to Boston," Alex looked at Bailey expectantly.
"Is everything okay?" Izzie asked, concerned.
"I don't know. I couldn't really get a lot of information over the phone, but I need to get to Boston as soon as possible. Please," Alex waited for a couple seconds for Dr. Bailey's response.
"You are lucky I like you," Bailey mumbled. "Go Karev, get out of here. You have three days. Call me if it's really bad and you need more."
Alex nodded in thanks and ran to the locker room to collect his things. By the time he arrived at the airport, an hour had passed since he left the hospital. He ran up to the ticket counter and asked for the next flight to Boston. It was pricey, but the plane would leave in an hour, meaning Alex had to be quick if he wanted to make it in time for boarding.
The rest of the time in between him getting to Boston was a blur. When his plane touched down, it was midnight on the east coast. He called a cab and hopped in, giving them Jo’s address. It was 12:37am when he finally arrived. Alex walked up the steps to the apartment and knocked on the door. There was a shuffling on the inside before the door opened.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jo’s eyes widened as she opened the door. She looked like shit, her eyes were red and puffy and she was dressed in one of Alex’s dark blue flannels and some pajama shorts.
“I was worried about you, you didn’t sound okay when I called,” Alex watched Jo’s bottom lip tremble as she held back tears, his hands coming up to hold her shoulders as she looked up at her. “Jo, what’s wrong?”
Jo tried to open her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Instead a sob broke from her throat, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as Alex pulled her into his embrace. His hands rubbed her back slowly as he attempted to quiet her sobs.
“Jo what’re you- Alex? What the hell,” Alex looked up and met Lexie’s eyes behind Jo, hers softening as she glanced at her friend who was still crying. “She wouldn’t tell me anything, she’s been crying on and off since I got home.”
“Come on babe, let’s get you to bed,” Alex pulled back from Jo just long enough to hook his arms under her legs so he could carry her to her bedroom. She made no protests as she nuzzled further into Alex’s chest, her silence throwing him off as they settled into bed together. “I’ll be here in the morning, you just sleep.”
Jo’s sobs had turned into sniffles as she pressed her face into the crook of Alex’s neck. She was never a big cuddler when they would sleep together, most of the time Alex would be fighting her for room on the mattress as she starfished across it. That’s how Alex could tell something wasn’t right, the way that Jo was curled up into a ball pressed as close to him as possible told him everything he needed to know.
Somewhere around 3am, Alex felt Jo poke him in the side. He opened his eyes and looked at the face of the woman he loved only to find her usual joyful demeanor replaced with one of fear. He watched as Jo took a deep breath, “We need to go to the store.”
“The store? For what? Jo, it’s three in the morning. Is anything even open right now?” Alex furrowed his brow.
“There’s a twenty-four hour CVS a couple blocks away,” Jo lifted her head from its place on Alex’s chest and moved to get out of bed. “I just really need to get something from the store.”
“Jo, the store can wait. We can go in a few hours,” Alex tried reasoning with her.
“It can’t wait!” Jo exclaimed as tears began to trickle down her face again. “It can’t wait Alex. We need to go right now.”
“Okay, we’ll go now. Just calm down for me,” Alex placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I’m going to get dressed. Give me two minutes.”
By the time they arrived at CVS, it was 3:23am. Alex made a move to exit the car when Jo placed a hand on his arm, “No! Stay here. I’ll go alone.”
“What? No, Jo it’s three in the morning. I’m not letting you go into the store alone,” Alex protested.
“There’s nobody here. I will be fine,” Jo opened the car door. “Besides, I know how to take care of myself. I’ll be back in five minutes.”
Alex was extremely confused. He had no idea what the hell was wrong with his girlfriend, but he knew it wasn’t good. In the years he’d known her, Alex had never seen her like this. He tried racking his brain for any possible thing that could’ve led her to acting like this but he came up blank.
Jo entered the car with a plastic bag in her hands, breaking him from his thoughts. He looked over at her, “You good?”
“Yeah,” Jo’s voice and face despondent. “Just drive the car.”
“Okay…”
As they walked back into her apartment, Alex gave Jo a worried look. She’d been silent the entire car ride and Alex basically had to drag her up the stairs to the apartment. He sighed, “Jo, come on. It’s been hours since I got here and you still haven’t told me anything. I left the hospital early and asked for the next three days off because I know you are not okay. I know something is wrong and I’m worried about you. Please, I love you. I am here. Let me help you.”
Wiping a couple stray tears from her face, Jo pulled Alex into the bathroom and locked the door. She handed him the bag containing what she’d just purchased from CVS.
Alex’s eyes widened as he removed what was inside the bag, “Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” Jo swallowed nervously. She leaned against the sink and closed her eyes. “Now you know why I’m acting so weird… I’m freaking out here, Alex.”
Alex looked from the unopened pregnancy test box in his hand back to Jo, “It’s okay. Everything is going to be fine Jo. You’re going to take the test and I’m going to be right here the entire time. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what this test says.”
“Can you just… go in the hallway while I pee,” Jo’s voice was quiet and far away as she looked up at Alex. Their eyes met and they both took in the same expression of fear that the other wore.
Alex nodded and left the bathroom, sliding down the wall of the hallway as he waited for what seemed to be forever for Jo to finish. His mind was racing, heart hammering in his chest as he played the last two months over in his head. If Jo was… it had to have happened when he came out in March. They’d been careful, they were always careful, but the trip had been short and sweet and they’d spent most of their time in bed.
“It says wait three minutes,” Alex is startled out of his train of thought by Jo’s voice, her figure now standing in front of him with a solemn expression. She had thrown on one of his Iowa State sweatshirts in her haste to get out the door, the fabric hanging loosely off her body as she sat on the ground and dragged herself into Alex’s waiting arms. “I’m scared, Alex.”
“Hey if it is positive you’re already heading to Seattle in a few weeks anyways. We can work it out,” Alex brushed his fingers through Jo’s hair as he pulled her close, his lips pressing into her forehead. “I love you, no matter what happens I’m always gonna love you.”
Jo nodded her head, but didn’t speak anymore. Alex felt terrible, she’d probably been carrying this around for a few days by herself while he was clueless on the other side of the country. The past year had been hell on earth for him, but he took a little comfort in the fact that in just a few short weeks they’d be waking up next to each other again.
“I’m late, like stupid late, and I haven’t been able to keep food down all week,” Jo’s voice was muffled as she pressed herself further in Alex’s chest, his fingers rubbing against her back in slow circles as her breathing became more erratic. “I’m so freaking stupid, I can’t believe this. I’m so dumb.”
Brows furrowed, Alex looked down at his girlfriend in worry. He’d never seen her this upset about something, leading him to believe that an unexpected pregnancy wasn’t the only thing clouding her mind at the moment, “You’re not stupid, I was there too. If anything I’m the stupid one.”
Jo sniffled, one hand coming up to wipe at her cheeks as she met Alex’s gaze. He’d never seen her so devoid of emotion, her face blank as she blinked up at him, “I’m ruining your life. I should’ve just let you go to Seattle without being tied to me because now you’re gonna be stuck with me and all this shit. You don’t deserve any of this.”
Alex’s face softened, his hands coming up to cradle Jo’s face tenderly. She was sitting here waiting for the results of a pregnancy test and she was worried about him instead of herself.
“Babe, you didn’t ruin anything, you never could. I’m not here because you’re forcing me to, I’m here because I want to be and because I love you,” brushing back her hair, Alex leaned his forehead against Jo’s. “No matter what happens, nothings going to change how I feel about you. Okay?”
“Can… Can you go look? Please.”
Rising from the floor, Alex walked into the bathroom and stared down at the three tests laying across the counter. Hands braced on the countertop, he let out a sigh as he looked back to Jo.
“Negative. All three are negative.”
Jo released the breath she had been holding, “Oh thank God… okay… okay.”
Alex stood silent for a moment and watched as Jo allowed a few tears to slide down her face. He crouched down next to her, one of the tests in his hands, “See. They’re negative. You’re probably just stressed about finals. It’s all good, we’re okay.”
“I’m relieved that it’s negative. I really am. We can’t handle this right now,” Jo spoke after a couple moments of silence. She looked up at Alex, eyes shining with unshed tears. “But… Is it wrong that I’m a little disappointed, though?”
Alex raised his eyebrows in surprise at her words. He and Jo never really talked about kids. It wasn’t something that was on either one of their radars. They were content with just the two of them. Alex had always assumed that he and Jo would be together until one or both of them died from old age. He didn’t need anything other than to have her by his side.
On top of all that, he didn’t think Jo wanted kids. Neither of them had very good upbringings, but Jo definitely had it worse than he did. Even though she’d never verbalized it, he knew she was afraid of being a bad mom to their hypothetical child. He supposed it was similar to the fear he had about being a horrible father, given his own history with crappy dads.
Alex's mouth twitched slightly, "It's not wrong. There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed."
"I know, but we've never talked about it," Jo shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't even know I wanted it until just now. I've never thought about it. I've always assumed that I'd never find someone who'd want to do that with me."
That's when Alex understood. Even after three years, Jo still expected that one day he'd leave her. She thought that one day, he'd find someone better—as if that person existed—and she'd be alone. Jo didn't understand the concept of forever, she'd never had anyone stick around. It was a bit of a wake up call for him. Alex realized that he'd never been clear with his intentions.
“I guess this is my fault,” Alex rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. “I’ve never said my intentions out loud because I thought they were all so obvious. I didn’t think they needed to be vocalized, but I’m not going anywhere. This ‘someone who would want to do that with you’ you thought you’d never find is me, Jo. I want it all with you. You are my home, and I never wanna go anywhere without you, do you hear me?”
Alex lifted Jo’s chin to make sure she was looking into his eyes. He noticed hers were full of tears and knew it was probably because nobody had ever said that to her before. Pulling her closer, he placed a kiss on her head, “And you don’t need to feel guilty about being disappointed.”
He moved his head so their foreheads touched, “Someday, when the right time comes, we’re gonna have a family to call our own. Until then, it’ll be just us, but we won’t need anybody else. We’re the only family we need, right? You and me,” Alex smiled, earning a smile and a chuckle from her. “We’re gonna have it all, Jo” he said.
“Someday,” Jo looked at him from the corner of her eyes with a shy smile.
Alex pulled her into a meaningful kiss, “Someday.”
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eleanorbloom · 4 years
Text
When You’re Ready Ch. 10
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Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.
Word Count: 5.3k (Sorry!!!)
Warning: Innuendos at the beginning, then, just angst and a bit of cursing.
A/N: Yes, I’m sorry. Today’s chapter is the longest I’ve done so far, but it’s worth it (at least to me) because is about my babyyyy. Things are going to get harder from now on, so I’m excited for the upcoming chapters!! I hope you enjoy the angst because there’s more to come. Hehe.
A/N2: I’m gonna post some One Shots for Kinktober, so I was wondering if anyone wants to be tagged? It will be BrycexEleanor and DrakexMC from The Royal Romance. I’ve never published anything for TRR but I’m planning to write something in the future. Meanwhile, I’ll exercise with some smut muahaha. So let me know if you wanna be tagged 😏
Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268​ @aylamreads @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @angela8756
_______
Chapter 10: Stay.
Funny you’re the broken one
But I’m the only one who needed saving.
 “Is that Raf?”—Eleanor raised her head from Bryce’s chest and stared at the ceiling, trying to prick up her ear.
At the distance, it was heard a deep voice in the middle of a mix of laughter.
“Yeah, that’s totally him.”
“What is he doing here so early?”
“Early?”—He chuckled—"It’s midday, babe.”
“Midday?!”—She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked. It was 12.10.—"And how we slept through all morning?”
“We stayed up late, don’t you remember? I think we got here like 3 am and then you just couldn’t shut up about how mad you were because Ramsey is being irrational about the influencer girl.”
“Oh, right. Drunken rant.”—Her cheeks blushed—“I’m sorry”
“Why are you sorry?”
“For making you hear all this crap when probably I ranted all night at Donahue’s about it.”
“Actually, you were just pissed off that Ramsey was mad at you, but when we got here you said the real stuff.”
“Like what?”
“Like you think that Ramsey is suspecting about your relationship with me and he’s taking it on you. He’s mad because you went behind his back with the Gwyneth thing, obviously, but he has contained his rage for weeks, and now he’s just… exploding.”
“Oh, fuck, you’re right, I did say that—She covered her face with both hands—"God, I’m so stupid.”
“Why? I think you’re right. He’s been acting like an ass with me this whole time too, he looks at me like I’m a piece of garbage or something.”
“But it’s really unprofessional that he is taking a work issue to an extreme just because he is what? Jealous? Mad that I’m getting over him? It’s very inconsistent of him.”
“Yes, it is. Are you going to do something about it?”
“Like what?”
“Like talk to him, tell him to stop,, that he shouldn’t take it on you at work just because he’s jealous.”
“I… I don’t know, I wouldn’t like to mix things, maybe I’m wrong.”
“You’re not wrong, Elle. You can’t let him be this ass with you, much less affect your work.”
Bryce saw how her head inside was spinning around, and her hands tensed over his rib cage.
“Just think about it.”—He added, stroking her hair comfortingly—"Don’t think for a second this is your fault, ‘cause it’s not. He made his choice in the first place.”
“I know…”
Eleanor leaned on her elbow to look at him in the eyes, smiling faintly at him.
“Thank you for being so understanding”
Bryce smiled back and then caressed her cheek while his eyes were expressing tenderness and protection.
She nuzzled into his soft chest losing herself into the sweet scent from his neck.
“Let’s focus on something less stressing and boring instead”—She whispered, lovingly.
“Like what?”—He asked tantalizingly roaming his hands through her back.
“Like the fact that I’m finally waking up with you.”
“Aw, you woke up really sugary today, uh?”
“Don’t you like it?”—She asked seriously.
“I have sweet tooth just because of you.”
“Awwww”—Eleanor encircled her arms around his neck pulling him down to her lips.—“You’re saying I’m sugary, but you just gave me a diabetic coma.”
“And I am having constipation ‘cause you, Eleanor Bloom, are being too cheesy.”
She burst out laughing, resonating in the whole apartment.
“Bryce! You’re impossible.”
“And you are impopsicle, babe.”—Before she could retort anything, he caught her lips into his, his hands travelling slowly down her bum. He deepened the kiss the moment she opened her mouth in a sigh.
“Do we have time for a quickie before getting ready for the concert?”
“Is it me or you’re doubting about your timing skills?”
“No, I’m just asking for consent.”
“We are wasting precious seconds, Dr. Lahela.”
Both chuckled before Eleanor pushed him against the bed and climbed on top of him, the sheets falling and pooling behind her, exposing her bare body.
“Sweet, sweet cowgirl ride me till the end of the world if you want”
Eleanor laughed hard again.
“Yeehaw!”—She joked between laughs.
This time it took like two minutes to make her stop. It would have been more if it weren’t for Bryce, who replaced her laughs for other more improper exclamations  that soon had to be hushed too.
By the time Bryce and Eleanor appeared in the living room, all their friends were ready for the Music Festival Eleanor had invited them, courtesy of her patient, Gwyneth Monroe. After a quick chat, they all headed to Cambridge, excited for the new adventure.
The group spent the afternoon eating, drinking, playing lawn games and, of course, enjoying the music. At some point, they split when Eleanor, Kyra, and Aurora decided to see an art exposition while Bryce, Elijah, and Jackie joined Sienna to see an indie band she had been fangirling all afternoon.
Once the group met again, an hour later, it didn’t take long for Bryce and Eleanor to get lost in the crowd, enjoying the music while savoring the moment alone in the open air.
The sun was about to set when Bryce felt his phone buzzing. As he pulled it out of his pocket the letters froze him. He ended the call and saw 10 missing calls and a lot of messages in the notification bar.
“Bryce, where are you?”
“I’m outside your apartment.”
“Bryce, please answer me! Are you at work?”
Eleanor stared at him worried, sensing his nervousness.
“Is everything alright?”
“I… I have to go.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Nothing, I just remembered tomorrow I have a really difficult surgery and I need to study up.”
“Okay.”—Her brows knitted, suspicious.
He kissed her quickly and turned to leave, but she caught his wrist before he could get lost in the crowd.
“Bryce!”
“What?”—He replied, trying to hide the fear that was invading him just right.
“If something wrong you can tell me, you know that, right?”
“Yeah.”
He smiled faintly and gave her one last kiss before walking out of the crowd.
He didn’t know how he reached the parking lot and got in the car, his hands were trembling and a knot of anxious had settled in his stomach. He pulled the phone out and called back.
“Bryce!”—He heard on the other end of the line—"God, I’ve been trying to reach you for hours, where are you?!”
“Keiki, what’s going on? How is that that you’re in Boston?”
“I’ll explain later, are you coming?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in forty.”
“Hurry up, I’m bored to death here.”
When he got to his floor, she found a tall girl in a red leather jacket sitting against his door, a backpack between her legs. He barely recognized her, even if he had seen dozens of pictures of her on her social networks. She was a teenager now, not the little girl that said goodbye to him with tears in her eyes when he left for college.
“Keiki”
“Bryce”—She said getting up from the floor. He opened the door a few moments later and both got in.
“Can you explain to me now what you are doing here?”
“Hey, bro, I’m glad to see you too.”—She ironized—“Thanks for the kind welcoming.”
“Keiki, please.”
“I ran away from home, okay?”
“You what?”
“I don’t wanna live there anymore.”
“Keiki, you can’t do that”
“Why not? You did it.”
“I went for college…”—He replied, feeling the guilt sharpening inside him.
“Yes, and then you never came back because you couldn’t stand our parents. It’s the same with me.”
“That doesn’t excuse that you escaped from home and underage. Do you have a plan? Or you’ll just wait until they come here to take you back and maybe they will report me for child kidnap?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Bryce. They wouldn’t that.”
“Still this isn’t right, Keiki. It could’ve happened something to you on your way here.”
“Yeah, but it would have been worth it if it means not spend another second in Maui.”
Bryce looked at her, intrigued. He couldn’t understand how things were bad for her if she had everything she wanted back in Hawai. A room the size of his apartment, all the clothes she wanted, and millions of things to do. But that was enough? He knew well it wasn’t.
“Can I stay with you?”
“Of course, Keiki, but you’ll go back tomorrow. Call mom to know if she can buy you a ticket flight back, I’m not sure I have the money for that.”
“Don’t you understand? I’m not coming back there, Bryce. Period.”
He shook his head and sighed. It was impossible to reason with her, and he knew it wouldn’t get anything by pushing her even more.
“Call her to let her know you’re here, then.”
“I bet she already knows.”
She seated on the couch, looking at him defiantly. He just ignored her act.
“Have you eaten something?”
“Some Doritos I bought around the corner.”
“What do you want to eat? I’m calling a delivery.”
“You don’t cook? I want real food, Bryce.”
“I’m a surgeon, not a chef, Keiki”
“Either way, you should know how to feed yourself by now, how you have survived all these years?”
“Take out.”
“Unbelievable”
Bryce didn’t know what to do. Maybe he could just watch a video on Youtube and cook something basic to save the day. Eleanor’s face popped in his mind, but he shook off the idea as soon as it emerged. Calling her would implicate to tell her the truth about his family and he wasn’t ready for that.
“Okay.”—He said after some deliberation—"I’ll go to the grocery store, so you have food for breakfast tomorrow and all that. Do you wanna go with me?”
“Nah, I’m tired, I think I’m gonna lay down a bit.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a bit.”
The moment he was out of the apartment, Bryce rubbed his hand across his face in exasperation. He didn’t know what to do, how to deal with his sister, and with the mistake he had been making all those years.
He always knew he shouldn’t have left her sister just like he did; never go back to Maui; call her just once in a while to finally only for her birthday. The guilt that has been accompanying him for ten years was materializing now in one of his worst fears: face his sister and deal with the consequences of his abandonment, the rage and the loneliness she might be feeling, all without prior notice.
He tried to clear his mind. At that moment he needed to stay calm to give Keiki the stability she had come to look for with him. He was the adult there, so he couldn’t let the feelings overwhelm him and make Keiki feel worse than she already was. 
Once he regained calmness, Bryce made his way to the grocery store where he collected all the ingredients for a spaghetti recipe he read on the internet, plus some vegetables, fruits, bread, butter, bacon, eggs, cookies, Doritos, so Keiki would have something to have breakfast and eat while she was at his place.
When the doors of the elevator opened again on his floor, she found the silhouette of a woman with a black and golden dress on, talking to Keiki. He froze for a moment until both directed to him.
“Elle”
“Hi Bryce”—She looked at him surprised, while Keiki just eyed them, leaning in the door frame, arms crossed.—“What’s happening?”
“Let’s get inside and talk, okay?”
Keiki moved backwars to let Bryce and Eleanor in. He went straight to the kitchen and set the bags over the counter meticulously, like trying to gain some time before facing her. After a few moments, Bryce turned to Eleanor.  
“Elle, this is my sister Keiki. She arrived today from Maui. She’s visiting.”
“Like hell. I told you I’m not planning to go back there, Bryce.”—She barked while she was flopping on the couch with the remote control in her hand.
“Hi Keiki, I’m Eleanor, nice to meet you”—She replied, giving a smile, even if she wasn’t looking at her.
“Yeah”—The girl just said, her eyes not moving from the TV.
Bryce just sighed, making evident his frustration. Eleanor looked at him worried and then pulled him to the kitchen.
“Can you explain to me now what’s happening? Why your sister ran away from home? Hell, I didn’t even know you had a sister, Bryce.”
Even if he wasn’t ready to talk about it, Bryce knew it wasn’t fair Eleanor didn’t know he had a sister, while she had talked about her family countless times.
“Elle, I…”—Now another fear was materializing: telling the truth about his family to someone from Boston. To the woman he loved, no less.—“To make a long story short, my family was a big deal in Hawaii. When I was in high school my dad went to jail for insider trading, and my mom only got off by testifying against him even though she was right there helping him the whole time.”
Eleanor gazed thoughtfully at him until she realized.
“Oh my god, Bryce… Your parents are The Lahelas? As in property tycoons turned white collars criminals The Lahelas?”
“That’s my family, and Keiki lives with them back in Hawaii. Dad got paroled a while ago for good behavior.”
Bryce saw as she remained in silence, surprise in her eyes. He couldn’t help but wince, waiting for the disappointed look, the disgust, the judgment. But nothing of it came. She instead tried to understand why Keiki was running away from home, what could have triggered that. She tried to convince him that this was not a simple rebellion as he was thinking. There was no judgment in her eyes or words. She just focused on Keiki and how to help him to deal with her.
Once Bryce felt less tense, he asked Eleanor to help him with dinner, which she accepted gladly. Half an hour later, the three of them enjoyed a plate of pasta that felt tastier as it was a result of collaborative work. 
Even if Keiki was hesitant to talk at first, the food put her in such a good mood that Eleanor got her to chat a bit with her, Bryce observing the exchange with admiration. From the answers, Eleanor could tell Keiki was a smart girl and mature for her age; she had a hot temper but the same self-assurance Bryce had, even the same smirks and looks.
“Thanks for dinner, Eleanor. .”—Keiki said before going to sleep.—"Good to know I won’t starve to death my first night here.”
“You’re welcome. It was nice to meet you, Keiki.”
She smiled at her and then got to the room.
Eleanor and Bryce stood in silence for a bit, none of then sure who had to speak first.
“Bryce, why you never told me? This is big.”—Eleanor finally said, standing in front of him, concerned.
“I know… I just…I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Of you judging me.”
“Judge you? How could I judge you, Bryce?”
“Because it has always been like this. People know me and it’s okay at first, but then, when they know that I’m the son of a criminal, they assure me it’s okay but they never look at me the same, never treat me the same. They look at me like I’m about to do something, or like I’m a professional liar and I’m trying to cheat on them.”
“Bryce..”—She whispered, cupping his cheeks, her eyes full of sadness.
“I wanted to start from scratch here, no one knowing about my parents, no one judging me for that, just focusing on what I am, on how hard I worked to be at Edenbrook and be known for that.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”—She said as he took him in her arms, embracing him tightly.
They stayed in silence for a while.
“How could you ever think that I would judge you, that I would treat you like that? I would never, Bryce. Never.”
“I know but some part of me thought you would.”
“Now I understand why you always changed the topic when I asked you.”
He nodded.
“But now you know you can trust me, right? Whatever you need, I’ll have your back.”
“I know, but… it’s not that simple, Eleanor. Since high school, people have seen me as a disease the moment they know I’m a Lahela, so I’ve never had anyone to trust about what I felt or just tell…stuff… the stress, the sadness… the things friends share. I never needed anyone to deal with problems, I could do it on my own until… until I met you, but I’ve ignored the feeling because I don’t wanna hold on to you, I’m scared that you’ll go away and I’ll lose the one person I trusted.”
“Why would I go?”
“Because nothing’s settled between us. There’s still the possibility that you’ll go with Ramsey or simply break up with me because you don’t want me anymore.”
“Bryce, we’ve been together for two whole months, I’m not planning to go anywhere.”
“Yeah, that’s what you say now, but you still want our relationship to be a secret because you don’t want Ramsey to know and make it a reality, because some part of you don’t want it to be true.”
“How can you say that?”
“Don’t be hypocrite Eleanor, please. I’m not stupid.”—Bryce retorted, hurt. She had never seen him this serious and cold.
“It’s not like that. And I don’t get where you’re going with this.”
“My point is, Eleanor, that I want to trust you, I really do want to tell you what is happening inside my head, but I can’t if the one person I can trust maybe won’t be here with me in two months or in a year. It doesn’t work like that with me. I have to keep on my own as always.”
“Bryce, no matter what, I’ll always be here for you, even if things turn out different-”
“No, Eleanor”—He interrupted—“Please don’t do this. Don’t be this selfish, thinking that if we end up things, we could go back to what we were. If I hold on you, I don’t know how I’ll deal with losing you or be away from you while I heal.”
“Bryce… Don’t be afraid, sometimes you have to take a leap of faith…”
“Don’t you think I haven’t taken enough leaps, Eleanor? I showed my feelings for you, I told you I loved you even before we were dating. You’re the only person I’ve done that with, and yet there is always a possibility that you won’t feel the same ever. And what about you? Yeah, you took a leap when you started dating me, but you can’t take a leap in leaving Ramsey in the past, tell him the truth, scrub all over his face that you moved on, because your ego is terrified that you weren’t enough to heal him. So, don’t dare to tell me that I should take a leap.”
He turned around and sat on the couch, both hands over his hair.
Eleanor looked at him, seeing the real Bryce for the first time. The Bryce that feels in pain, angry, annoyed, frustrated. Vulnerable. Human. The side she had never seen in him and she always wanted to know.
She took a few steps towards him and squatted down to face him.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to push you —She murmured—”I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you need me, okay?”
“I know, but I don’t think I’m ready for this, Eleanor. This is too much, and I need to deal with this on my own, that’s how I know best.”
“I understand.—She said softly, while taking his hands on hers.
The moment he felt his touch, his eyes threatened with tears and a knot ached in his throat. He pulled away from her grip.
“I… uh… I need you to go, Eleanor. I want to be alone.”
“Of course”—She replied, standing up.  
Once she collected her things she went to the door.
“Whatever you decide, just remember that I want the best for you, Bryce. I know we are in a complicated situation right now, but I’m doing my best to end this hell soon.”
And she left.
Bryce stood unmoved on the couch recounting the events of the past hours as the tears streamed down his face.
His biggest fears had occurred, and now he was feeling the incessant need of trusting Eleanor, tell her all the pain that was buried in his heart, but he just couldn’t. Just like his issues about his parents,  he had been burying the thoughts about Eleanor not wanting to confront Ethan about their relationship. He knew she still loved him and couldn’t blame her for that, but it was hurting him more than he thought, and he had just ignored his feelings and not said anything to her because if he opened up to Eleanor, even for one single thing, it would be like to open the pandora box, and he wasn’t ready to let all go.
Things were difficult in the next days. Keiki was absolutely decided to stay with him, especially since his parents didn’t reach him or Keiki to make her come back to Maui, and he still didn’t know how to deal with Keiki, because at any try of conversation, they ended up fighting or she ignoring his tries to be friendly.
The frustration and guilty were getting bigger and bigger.
He didn’t speak to Eleanor, and barely spend time with the rest of his friends. He just locked in on himself, focusing on working hard, and go straight home to be with Keiki even if they didn’t say anything or just argued. She was alone all day so she needed some company, and he really wanted to understand her, bonding with her and be like they were before, o maybe not like before, but he wanted to be her brother again.
However, soon he realized that he had been too harsh with Eleanor. Even if she was still in love with Ethan and didn’t want to make it official, it was all within their agreement. And more importantly, she had always been very respectful of their relationship, because she had only eyes and time for Bryce, and even if she wasn’t ready to commit, to tell the truth to Ethan and stop loving him, she was all in the relationship with him. He was her priority, he sensed that. He knew it.  Because she had been refusing any contact with Ethan since he was back.  When Bryce assumed that Eleanor had kissed him the night she stayed at Donahue’s, the reality was different.  And Ethan’s behavior the past weeks was proof of that. So, he felt bad for reacting that way. She didn’t deserve it when she only wanted to help.
*
Bryce was walking by the fourth floor, expecting to find Eleanor there, when he heard heated voices inside an empty room.
“This anger you have against me is about something else and I won’t allow it, Ethan.”
“What do you mean by ‘something else’?”
“Not work-related. You have been an ass to me for weeks, and whatever might be your reason, you’re being unprofessional and you’re exactly what you wanted to avoid.”
Then, absolute silence.
If Bryce was right, Eleanor was confronting Ethan about his behavior in the past weeks. She didn’t address the problem openly, but it was clearly a step he thought she wouldn’t take so soon.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”—She said when she ran into him, not cathing it was him at first.—"Bryce? Hi”
“Eleanor”—They stared in silence for a moment—"I was looking for you. What time does your shift end?”
Bryce saw the brief moment Ethan passed behind Eleanor, his face impassive and cold as steel, ignoring their existence completely.
“Half an hour, I’m doing my final round. Why?”
“I need to speak to you, meet me in the atrium as always?”
“Okay, yeah.”—Her cheeks flushed and couldn’t help but look at him with hope.
“See ya later, then.”
He waited in their usual spot and finally, fifteen minutes later, she appeared.
“I’m so sorry, I had to run new tests for a patient, and it took me ages.”
“Don’t worry, I’m glad you’re here.”
“So…”
“Let’s go to my car, we can talk there.”
“Okay.
Once both got in the car, they looked at each other until Bryce broke the silence.
“Elle, I want to apologize. I realized I was too unfair with you the other day. I know you were trying to help and I just took it on you, because I was frustrated with the situation and I didn’t know how to deal with it, let alone with another person offering help.”
“It’s okay, Bryce, it’s me who should apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”
“No, you were trying to help me, and I thank you for that. But I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that about Ramsey. You have been very respectful to our relationship, I want you to know that. I really appreciate it, babe. It’s just that sometimes this is… hard.”
“Bryce, listen, you were right, you don’t have to apologize for telling me the truth. I am afraid, and sadly I still have feelings for Ethan and I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to hurt you either, so it’s all so complicated.”
“I know, Elle, I know, that’s why I shouldn’t have been so rude. By no means you have been unfair or mean to me. It’s just that this is getting a bit hard for me, that’s all, especially now that I’m dealing with something big in my life and I want to hold on to you… But I’m terrified to do so.”
Eleanor rested her hands over his. 
“Look, I know I can’t promise you we will be together forever, but I want you to know that our relationship it’s the most important thing to me now, and I’ll do whatever I can to take care of us. We are still in this difficult process until things are clear inside my head, but right now I want to be here for you, I want to help you with your sister and with whatever you need. Just say the word, okay?”
He smiled thankfully and then nodded.
“Truce?”—She said, offering her hand.
“Truce”—He agreed, but instead of taking her hand, he kissed her sweetly in the lips.
Eleanor giggled against him.
“God, I missed you so much.”—He sighed, parting from her just a brief moment, to keep kissing her for another couple of seconds.
“Me too. These days have been a real nightmare without you. How are you dealing with Keiki?”
“Not so well, actually. That’s why I wanted to ask you if you would like to go home with me tonight. I haven’t been able to talk with Keiki, and if you there with me, maybe I’ll understand her better. I don’t wanna fight with her anymore.”
Eleanor smiled warmly at him.
“This means that you’re letting me in?”
Bryce had made his decision but couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.
“Yes. I want you with me in all this, Elle.”
“You won’t regret it. I promise.”
When they get home a delicious smell invaded their nostrils. Keiki was in the kitchen apparently frying some beef.
“Hey Keiki”—They both greeted.
“Hey. Eleanor, I didn’t know you were coming. I hope I’m doing enough food for the three of us.”
“We’ll make it work”—Bryce said, hopeful.
“If not, Bryce, you can call a delivery just as you like.”
“Haha, always so loving, sis. Whatcha doing?”
“Mongolian beef, I found an easy recipe on Instagram and here I am.”
“You need any help?”
“Umh, maybe with the rice, I have to chop the scallions and then have an eye on the beef.”
“Sure.”
They both washed their hands and then Eleanor taught Bryce how to cook rice while suggesting topics to talk. Some were delicate and Keiki reacted badly, but after every scowl Eleanor gave to Bryce, he tried to act more empathetic, listening to her before judging.
Once the dinner was served, the three seated with smiled on her faces.
“Keiki, this is great!”—Eleanor praised after giving the first taste to her plate.—“You had cooked before?”
“Yeah, a couple of times, but it’s not that I have the chance to do it often when you have people who cook for you”—She replied, a bit embarrassed.
“And what do you like to do? Reading? Singing? Playing an instrument? Skateboarding?”
“I like drawing, reading, and sometimes taking pictures.”
“That’s great. Boston has such beautiful places to do it.”
“Yeah, that’s true. I’ve took some really nice. ”
“You must show me them after dinner, okay?”
“Sure”
“ And what about your friends? You are not missing them now that you’re here?”
“Nah, I don’t have actual friends there, they all hate me.”
“Why they hate you?”—Bryce asked, brows furrowed.
That was the moment Bryce had been waiting since her sister got there, because with that question, Keiki let everything out. 
Bryce finally knew the motives that made her leave home and fly all over the Pacific Ocean and to the other side of the country to be with him, even if they hadn’t seen each other in ten years.
And it happened that her sister was living the same hell he lived. Her classmates hated her for what his parents did, and of course, they hadn’t done anything to protect her. They only cared about their reputation.
The mistake he kept making for ten years had led to this. Her sister suffering from loneliness, abandonment, bullying. Just like he did.
“Keiki I’m …. I’m sorry I didn’t call more. I should have been looking out for you.”—Bryce finally said.
“It’s not like you could have done anything from all the way over here.”
“I could, Keiki. I should have tried, I should have done better, I should have stood in front of mom and dad if you needed me to. And I didn’t. I let this happened. But I’m gonna do better, starting from today.”
Bryce got up from the chair and opened his arms, inviting her sister to do the same. After a few moments of staring at him, she finally stood up and threw herself into his arms.
“I’m sorry I was a jerk when I turned up. And like… every day since.”—She apologized, complete sincerity in her eyes.
“The only jerk here is me. You can stay with me for as long as you need, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks, Bryce.”
“I’m sorry, Keiki. Truly.”
“Bryce, it’s okay. I’m happy that I can count on you.”
“Always.”
The three chatted on the couch until Eleanor started to feel sleepy. She and Bryce said goodnight to Keiki, who had given his bed back a couple days ago as she found out the couch really comfy and his brother needed proper rest more than her.  When they locked in the room, Bryce pulled Eleanor to his chest gently, resting his forehead into hers.
“Thank you for doing this.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“All the right questions, and all those scowls and deadly glares that meant ‘stop screwing it up, Bryce’ is doing nothing? Really?”
“Ah, well. It was minimal. You did the hard job here, you get your sister to talk, and you listened to her and empathized with her. You apologized. You were the support she was looking for. You did it amazing, Bryce. Not me.  I’m so proud of you.”
“This wouldn’t have been possible without you.”—He kissed her in the lips, giving her the sweetest smile she had even seen in him, it made her stomach flutter.
“Good things happen when you trust people, you see?”
“Only with you.”
“I know. And I won’t let you down.”
___
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)
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Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?
When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through. 
If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut. 
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So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina  lake is pretty neat. 
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All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.
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And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy. 
So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.
ON the train we run into michelle again...
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Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person. 
Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL.  I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that. 
And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face. 
So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick. 
So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it. 
We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know. 
So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.
So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top. 
Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core. 
It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot. 
Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc. 
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It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting. 
The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being 
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It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.
This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme. 
So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out. 
Final Thoughts:  This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up
Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly. 
See you at the next rainbow
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emybain · 4 years
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Quarantine: Renegades Edition
so please don’t take this seriously. i honestly don’t remember writing half of it, but it be like that. this is simply a glimpse into the lives of Nova and Adrian during a global pandemic, aka snippets of the few months they’re in quarantine together. also, happy birthday to my girl nova. there’s a bonus/crack scene at the end that was inspired by tiktok, as well. i regret nothing (other than this poorly written fic)
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“They’re saying this thing could spread into June, July, maybe even August,” Adrian said, relaxing back into the leather couch, pulling the laptop with him. Nova adjusted against him, pulling the blanket over her legs just a little higher as the AC powered on. 
“That’s if people keep being dumbasses,” Danna replied from behind the screen, leaning forward to rest her head in her palm. “It’s our job as citizens to prevent the spread of this disease. Why can’t people get that through their thick heads?”
Nova and Adrian were on a video call with the rest of their friends, who were all also quarantined in their homes. Nova had her own apartment, but at the very start of this outbreak—a new disease that was rapidly spreading around the world—she decided that quarantining by herself for an unknown amount of time wouldn’t be good for her mental health, so she packed up clothing and other essentials and headed over to the Everhart-Westwood residence. Not to mention that a mansion was vastly better than a one room apartment. Oh yeah, and she supposed being stuck with her boyfriend every day wasn’t so bad. 
“They’re being ignorant,” Nova chipped in. “People think that they’re immune, or that this virus is being blown out of proportion.”
“When they get sick, I’ll laugh.” Ruby popped a cracker in her mouth before the camera became blurry as she moved. She appeared to have shifted from lying on her back to her stomach from a spot on her bed. There was minimal background noise from her end, which was suspicious since she shared a room with two teenage boys. They must’ve been off playing video games, probably who Max was laughing with from his room upstairs. 
Narcissa poked her head out from behind a lengthy book from her place on Danna’s bed in the background of Danna’s screen.. Like Nova, she lived by herself, and would rather be with her significant other than be alone. “This isn’t the first time a pandemic has spread throughout the world. There was the European Virus fifty years ago, coronavirus back in the 21st century, the Spanish Flu in the 20th century, and so on and so forth.” She waved a hand in the air. “Hopefully, people will come to their senses. History always repeats itself, no matter how hard we may try to prevent it.”
“Thanks for the optimistic input, babe.” Danna rolled her eyes and cast a glance back at her girlfriend.
“It’s what I do,” Narcissa replied, returning her attention back to her book, but there was a smile on her face. 
“Well, maybe when things start to calm down a bit, we can all hang out. A picnic or in cars or something.” Oscar shrugged. “Six feet apart, of course. I’m not about to catch something from you nasty people.
“Did you just suggest a picnic?” Ruby snorted. “You might want to check your temperature. I think you’re getting sick.”
“You seem to forget all about the many picnics we’ve had.”
Ruby stuck her tongue out in response, then straightened a little and turned her head to the side. “What?” she yelled. After a moment, she turned back to the screen and groaned. “Ugh, I have to go. Mom’s making me bake with her again. Maybe this time we’ll try something besides bread or cookies.” She waved at them before she vanished from the meeting. 
At that moment, the front door clicked and opened, revealing Hugh and Simon, both carrying multiple grocery bags. 
“My dads just got home from the store. We should probably go help.” Adrian sat up, leaving Nova to fall a little in his direction as she had been leaning on him. 
“Hi Adrian’s Dads!” Oscar yelled, though they were already out of the room when he did so. Nonetheless, they both shouted back their greetings from the kitchen. 
“I should probably go, too. There’s this show I started bingeing and I finished the fifth season last night. I’m dying to know what happens after that cliffhanger.” Danna leaned back in her chair. 
“Oh, is it that one you were telling me about?” Nova raised her eyebrows. “Based off of that movie series?”
“Yes! And watch it so I can rant to you about it! I’m so pissed off at the main characters. They’re just...so stupid.”
With that, the remaining five waved and said their goodbyes. Adrian set the laptop down on the coffee table in front of them, and they both stood up. Nova stretched, her muscles tired from sitting for nearly an hour. 
In the kitchen, Hugh was unloading the bags while Simon busied himself with spraying the items with cleaner and wiping them down with a paper towel. A couple of weeks into quarantine and Nova and Adrian knew what to do. They got to work putting stuff away, with Nova on pantry duty and Adrian at the fridge. 
Although Nova hadn’t been out in public since the world went into quarantine, she could tell that the grocery stores and other places were beginning to recover from the initial shock of the pandemic. With each trip to the store, Adrian’s parents came back with more and more food and supplies. Hugh had even decided to buy a fridge to store out in the garage for extra food that didn’t fit inside. She found that to be a bit ridiculous, but it seemed to make him happy. What was it with men and having fridges out in their garages?
“Is Max upstairs?” Simon asked, pushing a milk jug toward Adrian. 
“Yeah. I think he’s playing video games.” Adrian shot Nova a look, and she repressed a smile; they both knew what was about to come. 
“Has he done any schoolwork since we left two hours ago? Or at least left his room?” 
“I think he left to use the bathroom about forty five minutes ago,” Nova said. She glanced at the knock-off brand of her favorite crackers in her hand and sighed, placing it on a shelf. The off-brand wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t the same. It was the type of product that you had to buy name brand, as the imitations were just a waste of money. Alas, with the pandemic, she knew it was a fight to get the good products before anyone else. 
“He’ll get it done, Pops,” Adrian reassured. “He’s been doing fine the last couple of weeks. Just going at his own pace, is all.”
“I know.” A sigh escaped Simon’s mouth. “And I’m glad that he’s able to be a kid now, but being a kid includes doing your homework.”
Nova thought of the classes she was taking at a local university. She was doing her best to keep up with her online work, but as the weeks dragged on, she was losing motivation. “This quarantine is probably nothing for Max, remember? I’m sure he does his work whenever he wants to because he actually enjoys doing it.” She shrugged. “Better than sitting around surrounded by glass walls.” 
“You’re probably right,” Hugh added, washing his hands once the last of the groceries were out of the bags. “I’m not too worried about him, just as long as I get to see his face once a day.” He chuckled at his own words. Simon offered a smile in support. 
Once all the groceries were stored away, Nova and Adrian headed downstairs, taking the laptop with them. 
__________
Adrian stood from his seat, where he had previously already been on edge. 
“Nova, where are you going?” The glare he received was enough to scare off anyone else. He had seen this side of her before, though, and was unfazed. “It’s almost midnight,” he added, only increasing the glare.
“Anywhere but here.” Her eyes turned to Hugh, who crossed his arms in response. The two were arguing. Again. It was something that was new to their quarantine, having only surfaced about a week ago. They liked to argue over literally anything, from who got to have control over the remote to whether or not Nova should be a part of their daily “family walks” to the current state of the government and the involvement of the Renegades, who were no longer in charge but were still heavily tied into politics. Hell, even the weather wasn’t safe from their growing agitation with one another. Today, everything had been going fine, for once, until Hugh just had to bring up a curfew, as Nova liked to leave the house at odd hours. 
“This house is a fucking nightmare.” She gripped the keys to her motorcycle in her hand and turned to the door. From beside him, Adrian heard Max mutter something about irony under his breath. He too, despite entering the years of being a disagreeable teenager, was sick of the fighting. 
“Language, young lady,” Hugh said, warning laced in his tone. 
“Once again, you’re not my dad,” Nova gritted out. She opened the front door, revealing the darkness outside. “And you never will be.”
“Nova, what he’s asking isn’t completely unreasonable.” Simon ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re in our home for who knows how long, so as parents, you’re now our responsibility. Even when you’re not under our roof, you’re our responsibility. We just want you to be safe.”
“If you don’t want to follow our simple rules, then why are you even here? We’re paying for an apartment not two miles north from here, and you’re not even there. Instead you’re here, wasting our time and resources.” Even though the words weren’t directed at him, Adrian felt a chill go down his spine. 
Nova’s mouth opened, and she stared at Hugh blankly. Adrian could’ve sworn he saw her eyes welling up. “I’m here because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve been alone my entire goddamn life, and I didn’t know if I could handle doing it again.” She swallowed, hand turning on the screen door. “But it’s not like I expect you to understand.” And then she was out the door. 
Adrian rushed forward, eyeing his dad coldly. “Seriously?”
“She’s out of line!” Hugh defended, although Adrian could see the regret in his features. 
Choosing not to answer him, Adrian shook his head and went outside. Nova was at the end of the driveway, sitting on her motorcycle and looking down at the ground. Adrian approached her slowly, making sure his steps were loud so that she knew he was there. 
“I don’t walk to talk about it.” She hid her face even more from him when he bent down. “You’re welcome to come with me, but I don’t want you to get in trouble for breaking curfew.” Her voice soured at the word. 
“I understand why you’re mad, but don’t avoid me because of it.” He lightly nudged her chin with his knuckles. 
“He’s just so...so…” she lifted her head up, running a hand through her hair in frustration as she tried to find the right words
“Stubborn? Controlling? Self righteous?”
“Yes.” She let out a laugh, though it was void of humor. “It’s just...who does he think he is? I’m an adult. Even if he was my father, he can’t control what I can and cannot do.”
“You seem to forget that I’ve had to live with him for years,” Adrian said dryly. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m an  adult, too, but that doesn’t matter because he pays the bills.”
Nova gave him a long look. “You really need your own place.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“But you get what I mean.” She looked down at their hands, turning them around to examine the back of his. “I’m not his kid. It’s different with you because you’re his son.”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to keep you safe.” Her grip on him tightened, just slightly. Even though it had been a few years since the events surrounding the supernova, Nova still had trouble believing that her former enemies actually cared about her. It was hard to trust them when it had been ingrained in her from a young age that they were the bad guys. 
“I can take care of myself fine. I’ve been out in the middle of the night so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.” 
Adrian sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. There wouldn’t be any reasoning with her, at least not tonight. He had to let her cool down and return to the subject when she had a clearer mind. “At least come back inside? We can go play video games downstairs, or watch a movie, or do anything you want. I’m sure once you and Hugh are both calmed down, you can reach a compromise.” 
“But I don’t want a fucking com-”
“Or he’ll see things your way,” he tacked on quickly. Right. When she got like this, it had to be her way. It was funny, how she resented Hugh at times for his stubbornness, when she was equally as stubborn if not more so. This quarantine was really getting to all of them. Adrian couldn’t wait for the day life could go back to normal.��
“Adrian? Nova?” Adrian turned his head around to see Max, who was squinting at them through the dark, despite the outside lights being on. 
“What’s up, Max?” Nova shifted her body on the bike to face the teen. 
“Pops wants to know if you’re coming inside soon. He needs to set the alarm so he and Dad can go to bed.” Max paused, eyeing the bike. “Unless you’re going for a ride, then he’ll leave it off.”
Adrian waited for Nova to answer, as it was up to her. Nova ran her free hand over the bike, then sighed. 
“We’ll be in right behind you. I was just...checking some things on her.” All three knew she was lying, but Nova was still learning how to express her emotions in front of others. Even in front of Max, someone she got along with as well as she did with Adrian. 
“Alright.” Max turned to leave, then glanced back at her. “You know, things are rough right now, and I know it isn’t easy for everyone to be in isolation for so long, but,” he shrugged, “at least we’re together. I was able to make it in a quarantine for ten years with no one but myself and the doctors for company, so this is easy for me, but I know I’m probably the only person on this planet who thinks that way.” He let out a soft laugh. “I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m glad you’re here, and that I’m glad our family is quarantining together.” The smile he shot her was genuine. He turned back around and walked back to the house, where Adrian could see the outlines of his dads watching at the door. 
“Huh.” Adrian watched his brother go inside. “Just when you think he’s starting to learn how to be a proper kid-”
“-he goes and spouts shit like that?” Nova finished, shaking her head. Adrian could see the small smile on her face through the curls hiding her features. 
“Yeah.” Adrian squeezed her hand. “C’mon, let’s go back inside.”
“Okay.” 
__________
Nova placed the mixing bowl in the sink and turned on the faucet. She reached into a drawer and grabbed a towel, placing it under the running water. The kitchen was a mess, although she had seen it in worse states. At least the ingredients were all stored away so that she could get started on wiping down the counters. Hugh and Simon were at headquarters for the day, as their presence was required for something Nova didn’t care enough to know about, and they figured it would be best to work from there instead of coming home. And, according to Simon, them being out in public and at headquarters would be good for publicity. It had been a while since they stepped into work, seeing as even the Renegades had to obey social distancing orders. 
Point being, they were out of the house, so Nova could do whatever she wanted without questions being asked. And she had grown to appreciate baking during quarantine, among her long list of new and revisited hobbies. The Everhart-Westwoods always, to Nova’s surprise, had sweet tooths, so they never minded that Nova made a mess of their kitchen; it was just when Hugh or Simon entered the kitchen and started asking a bunch of questions that got on Nova’s nerves. Today, she could bake in peace. 
Or so she thought.
“Mm. Smells good in here.” She looked up at her boyfriend, who just entered the room. He peeked at the oven. “Cupcakes?”
“Muffins,” Nova corrected, setting the used towel next to the sink. There was dried paint on his forehead, as well as on his hands. She had to shake her head. How was it possible to get so dirty? Well, she should speak for herself and her flour-covered apron. 
“Oh, well, same thing.” He shrugged and grabbed a water glass from a cabinet. 
Nova blinked and reached for the remote, which was sitting beside her, and paused the show she was watching on the kitchen’s small TV. “No. No not really.”
Adrian chuckled and nudged her lightly as he passed her to the fridge. “Yeah, kind of. The only difference is cupcakes have frosting.”
Nova scoffed. “The only difference? They’re two completely different things. That’s like saying ice cream and gelato are the same.”
Adrian turned to face her, leaning against the fridge. He took a sip of his water. “Ice cream and gelato are the same. One’s just claimed by the Italians.” 
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Those aren’t the same, either, dumbass. Ice cream, clearly from its name, has more cream than gelato. And gelato’s more dense than ice cream. Those are just two differences.” She crossed her arms. “There are more.” 
“And? What does that have to do with muffins and cupcakes?” 
“Because they’re not the same.” Nova had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. And Adrian claimed he was a smart person. Yeah, maybe smart compared to sloths. “Muffins are considered a bread. Cupcakes are...well...cake. Two completely different recipes. You can’t just slap some frosting on a blueberry muffin and say it’s a cupcake. Maybe it looks like one, but the flavor and textures are way off.”
“They both are made the exact same way, babe. No difference.” With the way he was smirking, Nova had the thought that he could just be messing with her.
“Don’t ‘babe’ me.” She glared at him. “Fine. If you won’t believe me, the baker, then you don’t have to eat any of my muffins. Not cupcakes.” 
He groaned and reached for her, but she dove out of his reach. “Nova, don’t be like this. I’m sorry. They’re not the same, okay? Happy?”
“Not until you’re honest.” She checked the timer above the oven. “I’m going downstairs for a minute.” Pointing a finger at him, she added, “Don’t mess with them. I’ll know.”
“Admitting defeat?” he called at her back. 
“Hell no,” she tossed over her shoulder. “This conversation is far from over, buddy.”
She definitely heard him mutter rudely how he knew, but chose to ignore it. After all, she was the bigger person in the relationship. 
__________
Adrian turned into a parking spot and turned off the car. He glanced over at Nova, who was giving him a very pointed look.
“The park? What did you plan? A picnic?” That was, in fact, the plan, but only part of it. 
Leaning over, he planted a gentle kiss on her lips. It only softened the look a little. “You’ll see, nosey.” He unbuckled himself and opened the driver door. “Now, come on.”
She rolled her eyes, but got out as well. Seeing her in a pair of cutoff shorts and a simple t-shirt was refreshing, as she had been wearing sweats for the past two months, ever since the world was sent into quarantine. She and Adrian both had been dawning the same three pairs of pants and shirts for weeks now. But, this was the first time they both actually got out of the house, save for their daily walks or motorcycle/car rides, so it was only fitting to get dressed up for the occasion. And by dressed up he meant ditching the sweatpants. 
Also, it was Nova’s birthday. Adrian hated that she was being forced to spend it unceremoniously, when so many of her birthdays had gone practically unnoticed growing up with the Anarchists, so he took it upon himself as her boyfriend to do what he could for her. And that meant having a socially distanced picnic in the park with their friends, who they hadn’t seen in person in months. 
They walked down the sidewalk hand in hand, going into the grass whenever a biker or runner passed by them to maintain distance. Adrian almost wanted to pull his mask out from his pocket, but knew he was probably fine. Besides, if he put his mask on, Nova would follow, and he knew how much she hated wearing them, for obvious reasons. They were outside, and there were hardly any people in the park.
“You’re an idiot, Adrian Everhart,” Nova said once they could see their friends, but there was a smile on her face. They were all spread out on blankets, making a circle, and in the center sat an unoccupied blanket piled with food and gifts. 
“Hey, I can’t take all the credit.” He squeezed her hand, grinning down at her. 
“It’s about time you two showed up,” Oscar said, checking his watch. “We’ve been here for hours. We’re starving.” He stood and went to the middle to start making a plate. Adrian made a face at his back. He had specifically asked that they wait for Nova until they started eating in the group chat, so he guessed Oscar was holding his word. He waited, after all. 
“Twenty minutes,” Danna corrected from her spot beside Narcissa. She looked at them and rolled her eyes. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”
Everyone chorused in their ‘Happy Birthdays’ and Nova thanked them as she and Adrian sat down on the one remaining blanket. “You guys didn’t have to go and do this for me.” She turned her gaze specifically toward Adrian. He raised his hands in defense.
“Blame Oscar for putting the idea in my head. All he ever talks about when we video call is how bored he is.”
“That’s true.” Nova shook her head in amusement. “This is very sweet, but don’t expect me to cry or anything.”
“You cried on your seventeenth birthday, and that’s enough for us,” Ruby teased. 
“That was literally two years ago.” Nova ran a hand over her face. “It meant nothing.” 
“Mhm,” was Ruby’s response, but Adrian could tell she wasn’t convinced. None of them were, obviously.
Nova peered at the food pile. “Is that Mediterranean pizza I see?”
“Yeah, and it’s all yours,” Oscar clarified, passing a plate he made for Ruby to her before sitting down himself. “I still don’t understand how you like that. There’s not even meat on it!”
“There’s also cannoli’s.” Adrian stood to go make them both plates. He knew that cannoli’s were one of the few desserts she liked, probably because they weren’t that heavy. “Do you want one or two?” 
She pondered the question for a moment, then smiled at him. “Two.”
When he returned with their food, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“What was that for?” He handed her plate over.
“For being you, and for giving me the best birthdays ever.” She shifted her body to lean against him. “How’d you know I wanted to see everyone for my birthday, anyway?” 
“Because I know you.” He kissed her forehead. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”
__________
Bonus crack scene:
“I would like to thank everyone for joining me today,” Nova said, swirling the water in the wine glass she snatched from the cabinet. Since Hugh wouldn’t let her drink actual wine, this was the next best thing. She cleared her throat. “I took it upon myself to observe the members of this household over the course of a week and rate everyone on their performances.” She pointed to the pyramid of papers set up on the wall, held there by type. There were pictures of everyone in the household behind a white sheet of paper. Starting at the bottom on the left side was the worst member, and the one at the top was the best. Why she decided to do this, she had little clue, but she figured it would be an entertaining activity to spice up everyone’s day.
“Is that what this is? I thought it was something actually serious.” Hugh leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. There was a smile on his lips. 
“It is serious.” She pointed her glass at him. The fast movement caused a bit of water to slosh over the side. “It has come to my attention that there are people in this household who have some improvement to work on if they want to move up next week.”
“If I’m not at the top, I’m breaking up with you,” Adrian joked, adjusting the glasses on his face. She narrowed her eyes at the camera he was pointing at her.
“I do not accept bribes.” Tearing off the first piece of paper, she began. There was a snicker, probably Max. “Hugh.” He immediately started protesting, but Nova silenced him. “No, no, no. You’re mean to me. Always looking to post up or some shit.”
“Language,” he warned, though his tone was light.
“Not to mention you don’t let me express my true self by cussing,” she added sharply. “Also, you tried to kill me three years ago and I’m sorry, but I just can’t forgive my haters like that. Try better next week, okay?”
“Hold on, wait a second.” Hugh held up a hand. “First of all, young lady, if you want to bring up the past, it goes both ways, but we’ve both changed for the be-”
“No comments at this time,” Nova interrupted. She ripped off the next sheet of paper. “Next up is Nova.” Laughter broke out in the room. Even she couldn’t help from smiling. “Not gonna lie, I held out hope for this one, but she’s got a lot of issues, if you know what I mean. Always picking an argument, refuses to participate in family activities, and is kind of just there. Doesn’t really do much of anything. The only reasons she’s above Hugh is because, for one, she’s far more attractive, and she bakes stuff for everyone.
“Adrian-”
“Oh, come on!”
“-you refused to cuddle with me yesterday and watch guilty pleasure movies because you said you were busy. You argued with me the other day on the validity of the Star Wars prequels and sequels.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “And you’re filming me without my consent. Other than those things, though,” she shrugged, “pretty cool boyfriend. You didn’t say anything when I stole one of your sweatshirts the other day, so that gets you some points.”
“Wait, the gray-”
“Max is next.” She tossed the white paper to the ground. “You never say anything mean to me, unlike some members in this household, but that could also be because you spend all day on video games. Because of that, I’m afraid you can’t be higher.”
“Hey, I’ll settle for third.” Max shrugged, grinning. 
“And that’s why I like you!” She nodded firmly. “In second place, we have Simon. Who doesn’t like Simon? You always have something nice to say, and on occasion, you’ll back me up in an argument because you’re an intellectual. I always enjoy our deep conversations, too. Truly a wonderful person.”
“Thank you, Nova. I enjoy our talks, as well.” Simon chuckled. He looked pretty pleased to be on top. 
“And that leaves us with,” she ripped off the last paper at the top, causing the room to erupt in laughter and clapping, “Obi Wan Kenobi. Truly an iconic and handsome man. Every time I watch Star Wars, he brings up my serotonin levels. Not just because he’s cute, but because he can land some sick burns.”
It was easy to say that, thanks to Adrian’s video, Nova started a trend all over the world.
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presleepthoughts · 4 years
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Purpose
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Pairing: Beca Mitchell x Chloe Beale
A/N: Had this story on my computer for over two years now....slightly based on the movie “Hangman”.
Photo credit: Brandi Kitten from pinterest
/
Balancing a tray of hot coffee, Detective Mitchell wobbled her way between the FBI station cubicles, already feeling annoyed in the early morning. She loved her job but getting up at 5 am in the crack of dawn wasn’t her idea of fun. The station was already buzzing with energy, employees starting their day just like her. She rounded the corner and maneuvered by an officer guiding a suspect away in handcuffs and pushed the door open to her office.
 The room was fairly empty, the walls painted a light shadow of brown. Her large desk was pushed back and stationed in front of the windows and like usual it was covered in file cases in unorganized piles. A light-colored couch was pushed against the wall, perfect replacement of her bed whenever it was necessary. Often times important cases demanded her attention and she couldn’t afford to waste hours to go home.  
 She rounded the desk and settled down in the black leather chair, pushing away some of the paperwork she hadn’t completed last night on her desk and sat down the tray. The cracking of the door hinges alerted her of a newcomer and she looked up only to see her partner, Jesse Swanson.
 “I would greet you with a good morning but I don’t think you would appreciate that.” His signature easy going smile made her shook her head. They have been partners for the last five years now and Beca trusted him with her life but if she was being honest, the kid could be a huge pain in her ass.
“Rough night?” He must’ve noticed her unenthusiastic expression as he inched his way inside the room, sitting down with a smile before her desk. “Is one of them for me?” He pointed with his finger and without waiting for an answer, leaned closer and stole one of the two coffees, tearing off the lid and sipping the beverage happily.
 Beca rolled her eyes. “Well, that was just rude. It could’ve been for somebody else, Swanson. Don’t be self-centered.” She smirked, showing him, she was messing around. She grabbed the other cup and took a generous snip and sighed, leaning back on her chair.
 “I was here ‘til two in the morning. Haven’t slept much.” She admitted as she closed her eyes just for a second. Beca knew that working for the FBI would come with its challenges but the continuous intensity of her job started to take a tool on her body. She had lost weight in the last couple of weeks and her mind was overwhelmed.
 Jesse raised his eyebrows curiously. “New case?”
 Beca shook her head as her jaw clenched. “No, just some paperwork I had to finish for the Johnson’s case. One more reason for me to hate that fucker.”
 Kevin Johnson was one of her biggest cases since joining the FBI five years ago. He was a teacher who got obsessed with one of his student and tried to kidnap the girl. On a late night, he climbed in through her window and drugged her, took her from her house and put her in the trunk of his car. Her parents notified the FBI and Beca was the first one who responded to the call. She tracked him down in Chicago, Illinois and rescued the girl, putting him away for life. All that happened a week ago.
 “He’s got what he deserved.” Jesse said. “The girl is safe and he’s going to rot in prison for the rest of his life. I mean, if the other inmates let him live for that long.” Jesse commented, crossing his arms across his chest. “Crimes involving children aren’t very popular, even in prison.”
 She nodded knowingly. “One more lunatic off the streets, at least.” She mumbled, grabbing some of the scattered files and trying to organize them neatly, stacking them into the drawer.
 Jesse let the conversation die down as drank his coffee while looking out the window over Beca’s shoulder. The weather was gloomy, grey skies gathering over their heads and Jesse wondered when it would rain. The comfortable silence was interrupted when one of the agents peeked his head through the door, addressing Beca.
 “Mitchell. Captain Posen wants you in her office right away.” He waited for her to nod and left the two of them alone.
 “What do you think she wants?” Jesse asked and Beca shrugged her shoulders.
 “No clue but I’m about to find out.” She pushed her chair away from the desk and stood up. “You’ll wait for me here?”
 Jesse shook his head. “I have some things to finish too. I’ll come by later. We can go to lunch?” He suggested, receiving a nod in reply as Beca left her office and made her way down the corridor.
 Five doors down, she reached a wooden door with a sign ‘Captain Aubrey Posen’ in bold, black letters placed on the surface. Beca knocked slightly and after hearing an invitation to come inside, she opened the door. The Captain’s shoulders were hunched over a file, not lifting her gaze to look at the detective, simply waving her hand in her direction, directing her to sit down on the available chair. Beca stepped inside, noticing another visitor with her back to her, sitting in one of the seats. Her bright red hair was falling in waves on her shoulder and she was wearing a brown leather jacket.
 “You wanted to see me?” Beca asked strongly, not taking the offered seat, opting to stand.
 Captain Posen finally lifted her gaze and looked at her with her eyebrows raised. “Yes. Detective Mitchell, meet Chloe Beale.”
 The redhead, now Beca knew to be Chloe, stood up and turned around. The first thing Beca acknowledged was her ocean blue eyes as she stood with her hand outstretched for a handshake. After a stunned second, she shook her hand firmly.
 “Ms. Beale here is a journalist from the Times magazine. From now on, she’ll be your new partner alongside with Detective Swanson. She’s partaking in an all access project to write an article about our station. Wherever you go, she goes.”
 Mitchell furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. The Captain wanted to partner her up with an untrained civilian, a journalist nevertheless who had no idea about the danger Beca and all the other officers faced daily. She shifted on her feet, scrunching up her nose in distaste. She didn’t know babysitting was a part of her job description.
 If the Captain noticed her reaction she didn’t show it as she turned her attention to the journalist. “Ms. Beale, I trust you can partake in this project and write your piece without interfering with my detectives and future cases, yes?” Her tone strong and hard, indicating she wasn’t messing around.
 Ms. Beale nodded seriously and replied. “Yes, Captain.”
 Despite her frustration of the situation, Beca’s eyes kept glancing at the journalist.  
 “Good.” Posen nodded sharply, looking at her detective and Beca snapped her eyes back to her. “You’ll do everything by protocol, just like always and make sure she’s unharmed. It’ll be like she’s not even there. Got it?”
 “Yes, Captain.” Beca replied confidently. The Captain dismissed them and as Beca guided Ms. Beale back to her office, she couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen.
 /
 The door barely closed behind them before Ms. Beale started talking. “Thank you so much for agreeing to do this.” Beca rolled her eyes when her back was turned as she took her seat, motioning for Chloe to do the same.
Beca adjusted her blazer and crossed her arms across her midriff. “Captain Posen didn’t really give me a choice in the matter but you’re welcome.” She answered sarcastically. Her defense mechanism kicked into gear. It made her uneasy that she didn’t know her intentions. She was just a regular detective, she didn’t know why she was special enough to write about.
 Her negative answer stunned Chloe into an awkward silence as she glanced down at her notes in her lap. Beca clenched her jaw before she sighed in defeat. It was an order and there was nothing that she could do about the situations. Ms. Beale was only here to do her job and maybe if Beca helped her she would leave sooner.
 “The Captain said you’re writing an article.” She stated matter-of-factly and watched as Chloe glanced up in curiosity. “She never said anything specific. What exactly is it going to be about?”
 The first smile appeared on Ms. Beale’s face and Beca wondered why. “It’s about female detectives. I’d like to shed some light on how it feels like to be a woman in a dominantly male profession.” Her kind eyes lingered on Beca’s while she gently explained.
 Beca gazed back curiously. “Why aren’t you interviewing the Captain then? She’s the first female captain of the station in this town. She’s basically a walking legend. Why are you interested in me?”
 Chloe let her eyes roam over the detective, taking in her stormy blue eyes and hard, defensive expression. Despite her hard demeaner, Beca intrigued Chloe. The journalist learnt to always look behind the picture, dig deeper to found out the truth and she had a feeling Beca was more than what met the eye.
 “I already interviewed Captain Posen before you and I will dedicate an article for her. But she has a lot of responsibilities to take care of instead of going outside where the action is. I need somebody who’s out on the fields. I heard that’s you.” Her eyes looked deep into Beca’s and saw a slight change in her expression.  
 But before she could identify it Beca’s poker face emerged as she let her arms fall on the armrest of her chair.
 “A journalist job is to find stories worthy of being told.” Chloe stated and pulled her phone out of her pocket, boosting up the audio recorder app and placed it on the table between them. “I think yours is one of those stories.”
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verai-marcel · 4 years
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The Light That You Shine (RDR2 Fanfic, John Marston x F!Reader, Chapter 1 of 6, 18+)
Summary: John Marston was proud to be part of the VDL Riders, a biker gang led by Dutch van der Linde, and had been with them since he had run from home at the age of 15. He and his makeshift family lived by three principles: live free, help those who need it, and punish those who deserve it. For five years, his gang was all he cared about and nothing else mattered. But then John meets you, and his priorities start to change.
Author’s Notes: Go check out @veradia’s biker AU RDR2 art for what inspired me to write this. This is a prequel to Before This Dance Is Through, so everyone is 6 years younger; John is about 20 in this story and so are you, my dear reader. 
Tags: prequel fic, eventual smut, romance, drama, violence, cheesy 80s vibe even though it's 2012, modern AU, switching POVs
AO3 Link is here, sweetheart.
--------------------
Chapter 1 - Start at the End
Word count:  2032
“Dammit Morgan, you could’ve warned me!”
Arthur grinned as he slapped John’s back. “Well, that wouldn’t be any fun, now would it?”
The others laughed while John rubbed the back of his head, leaning down to pick up the can of beer. It looked too shaken up to open at this point, so he set it on the table and glared at his brothers. Stalking past them towards the mini-fridge, he pulled out another beer, popped it open and took a long gulp. Dressed in his favorite black leather jacket over a plain white shirt, ripped black jeans, a chain on his belt to keep his wallet from being stolen, and scuffed biker boots, John looked like he bought all of his clothes in the late 80s and never changed.
“So, what’re we doing tonight?” Javier asked, leaning against the mezzanine railing. He had his medium length hair tied up, strands of it falling from the hair tie to frame his angled face. His leather vest and his blue jeans were impeccably clean, and not a single misplaced thread was on his V-neck shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He carried his favorite combat knife in a holster on his hip, hidden under the vest, and he wore black fingerless leather gloves.
Lenny sat on the couch, his freshly polished black boots propped up on the coffee table. He looked like he didn’t quite belong in a motorcycle club, in his black pants and black T-shirt. His white cowboy hat was clean, his white blazer crisp. He had his own knife holster, concealed under his jacket. 
Sean was standing behind the couch, leaning against the back of it. He wore a green headband around his shoulder length hair, fancying himself an Irish Rambo, choosing to wear a blue athletic cut T-shirt and olive green khakis. He wore his brown Timberland boots, the same ones he had since he joined the gang. They looked dirty and scuffed to hell, but they still did their job, so he had no reason to buy new ones. His green & red striped flannel was tied around his waist, hiding a knife holster.
Charles was sitting back in one of the arm chairs catty-corner to the couch. He had his long hair braided tight, the sides of his head shaved. His dark blue peacoat was open to show his black turtleneck and blue jeans. Both of his black biker boots had knife holsters with a few throwing knives.
They all looked towards Arthur, who shrugged as he looked at all of them. He had his worn cowboy hat on with his old bomber jacket over a grey shirt, faded blue jeans, and cowboy boots. He pulled a cigarette out and lit it with his silver zippo lighter, breathing in and letting out a puff of smoke before he responded. 
“Dutch wants us to go run security at some rich feller’s house party.”
“And how are we supposed to manage t’at? I don’t have any fine clothin’ for the occasion,” Sean groused.
“No amount of clothing can save you,” Javier joked.
Sean glared as the others laughed.
“Dutch said we just wear black polos and black jeans so we look like a security company,” Arthur said once the laughter died down.
“So. Is there an alternative motive for this job?” Charles asked.
“Of course there is,” Lenny said confidently. “There’s no way Dutch would deal with those kind of folks without a reason.”
Arthur nodded. “Word is that the rich feller has quite the car collection. We sneak in after the party while everyone’s wasted and drive a few of them outta there. Swap out the plates, get a paint job over at Hosea’s, done deal.”
“And if they have alarms or kill switches?” John asked.
“You know how to hot wire,” Arthur sniped. “You, Javier, and Lenny can deal with it.” He walked past all of them and headed down the stairs. "Meet you all back here by 6pm."
John shrugged. As they split up to prepare for the job, he looked around the small warehouse they called their biker club. Walking down the stairs, he went past their bike shop area underneath the mezzanine and paused for a moment. They had slowly built this place up from scratch, bringing in old furniture for their hang out space and tools to take care of their bikes.
And on the other side of the warehouse were two offices that had been converted into bedrooms. While the others had their own places to live, John and Arthur lived at the club, having both been orphans and taken in by Dutch. Their rooms weren’t anything fancy, just a little bit of room to sleep and store their worldly possessions. John headed to his room to take a nap.
Instead, he lay on his old mattress, staring at the ceiling. He had been with the gang for five years, since he ran away from his foster home. His mother had died six years ago from a drug overdose. When she was lucid, which wasn’t very often, she was kind, even as her eyes bled sadness at the edges; those were the memories he held onto the tightest. He didn’t even know who his father was, or if he was even still alive, but he knew that if he ever met him in person, he'd knock his lights out for leaving his mother such a wreck. 
After he had been sent to foster care, his foster parents didn’t try to understand him, they only tried to mold him into what they thought a proper young man should be. So he ran away. When Dutch found him, scrounging for food in a trash can behind the warehouse, he took him in. Gave him shelter.
Then there was Arthur. He was like a big brother, taught him how to fend for himself, taught him what it meant to give more than you received, even if it came with insults and punches to the face at times.
As more outcasts joined the gang, they also became his family, his brothers. Javier, Sean, Lenny, and Charles, one by one, they all joined and quickly became an intrinsic part of his life. He’d never want for more than this.
But lately, Dutch seemed off. For the past year, John had noticed him taking bigger risks, sending them on more violent jobs, and slowly stepping away from the hands-on work, leaving it to “the younger, faster men,” as he called them. There was a tinge of blind desperation in how Dutch led them now, almost as if he wanted to push them towards something greater, but wasn’t sure what that something was.
Rolling over, he stared at the wall covered in Led Zeppelin, Eagles, and other classic rock posters. He looked at the one Metallica poster he had and smiled wryly as he remembered Arthur throwing it at him, snarling “happy fucking birthday”, and slamming his door. He later found out that Arthur had snuck into the concert, stolen a poster, and ran half a mile to get away. And all because John had whined about not being able to go that night because he was sick.
He sighed and got up. He wasn’t going to get any sleep now. Leaving his room, he tinkered with his Honda Shadow Aero, his pride and joy, until it was time to go.
***
“We certainly look dangerous,” Charles said with a hint of humor in his voice as he calmly got out of the gang’s Sprinter van. 
“That’s because we are,” Javier said matter-of-factly as he hopped out next. 
Everyone bounded out of the van, with John the last out. He pulled the sliding door shut and followed the others into the house, hanging back as he listened to Arthur talk with the party host about the job. He trailed behind them as they were led around the house and made mental notes about where the party goers were allowed to go and where they were forbidden.
Once they were left to their own devices, Arthur turned around. “Alright men, let’s get to work.”
***
The party was wild, the party-goers were disgusting, and at the end, half of them were drunk, and the other half were passed out. 
It was almost far too easy to sneak into the garage, pick a couple cars that were not too flashy, and drive them off the premises. 
As they took off down some quiet back roads to lose any would-be followers, John sat and stared out the window into the pitch black night as Arthur drove with the window rolled down, his arm hanging out the window. Lenny and Sean had taken a car while Charles and Javier had left the party earlier, driving the van to Hosea’s shop.
“Hey.”
“What.”
John scratched his beard. “Do ya think—”
“I think more than you,” Arthur interrupted.
“Dammit Arthur, I’m tryin’ to be serious here!”
“Calm your balls,” Arthur said gruffly. “Yer so easy to rile up, I can’t help it.”
John let out an exasperated sigh. “Do you think Dutch is… do you think he’s tired of this? Of the club?”
Arthur was silent for a few moments. “Why do you say that?”
“He hasn’t been around much lately. He tells us to go do these jobs that are more and more dangerous. We haven’t done a charity drive or anythin’ nice for the community in the past two years.”
“Yeah, I noticed too. I don’t know, I’m sure somethin’ will come around. Maybe he’s been busy just tryin’ to get us steady work.”
“We used to just get jobs that were just jobs. Now we always have some double crossin’ or thievin’ or some shit that could get us in serious trouble!”
Arthur was silent for a little too long.
“Arthur?”
His sigh was long and tired. “I know. I know.”
The rest of the drive was silent as they drove the two hours back to the city.
***
After they had dropped the cars off at Hosea’s car shop, Charles drove them all back to the club in the van. It was 4AM by the time they all got back, and collectively they decided to call it a night and get back together the next night. As the others took their bikes and headed to their own homes, Arthur glanced over at John, who was still silent, still thinking.
“Yer goin’ to think yerself into the ground there,” Arthur commented.
John shrugged. “I can’t ignore it anymore.”
Arthur nodded. “Yeah. Let’s talk to Dutch tomorrow.”
As Arthur headed back to his room, John stepped outside and leaned against the brick wall. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it with his disposable lighter, and slowly took a drag as he stared up at the twilight sky, the stars barely visible in the city. He had an itch to be out in the open again, to sleep under the river of stars like he did in the desert. Or even to be out of a city, just for a while.
John finished his cigarette and slunk back into the warehouse, crawling into bed and staring at the ceiling until the sun came up before finally passing out when even his churning thoughts could no longer keep him awake.
***
“I swear, if we have to hear one more lecture about not having enough faith…”
Arthur just shook his head as he followed John out of the convenience store, quietly drinking his soda. 
“We just asked one damn thing, and he blows up at us like we’re questioning his entire existence!”
“You know how he is,” Arthur mumbled.
“I know how he was. How he is now… he ain’t the same.”
John’s statement was met with silence.
“You know I’m right,” John insisted.
Arthur let out a long sigh. “Well, what am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know!” John looked away. "All I know is that things ain't the same anymore," he mumbled as he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and went silent as they walked back to the warehouse.
"Well," Arthur said after a while, "It weren't us that changed, that's for sure."
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Chapter 2 coming soon!
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