emybain

[emybain]

being a humanities major who’s friends with stem majors is so funny because you’ll ask your friends what they’re doing today and they’re like “UGH it’s so stressful i have to stabilize the reactor core for my nuclear power midterm and then i have to build the supercomputer from i have no mouth yet i must scream for my electrical engineering homework :/ what about you” and you’re like “oh well i have to read a fun little book and write an essay about gender.” and they still think you have it worse

[emybain]

[emybain]

[emybain]

[emybain]

#soon services are going to have schedules and only play certain things at certain times #sure you'll be able to watch your favorite show on this service but you're gonna have to wait until 5pm when it comes on #it's a joke now but just watch

[emybain]

oh wow! hey if you take pills check this out. new medicine taking meta just dropped.

according to these models, out of the 4 tested postures, the best position to digest pills is laying on your right side. standing upright has a similar time to laying in your back at twice as much as laying on the right side, and laying on the left side is the slowest by far.

laying on right side: pill dissolves in around 10 minutes.

standing: pill dissolves in 23 minutes. laying on the back has a similar time.

laying on left side: pill dissolves in up to 100 minutes.

https://doi.org/10.1063/5.0096877

definitely worth a lot more research.

if you want your medicine to kick in fast, try laying on your right side! if you want your medicine to kick in slower, try laying on your left side.

[emybain]

#somebody party rocked too hard

[emybain]

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

[emybain]

My Homophobic dog masterpost

#Whitney chewston I love you

[emybain]

My brother and I have this thing where sometimes we forget that we live with our parents and we’ll say “my lawyer has advised me not to finish this joke/anecdote” to stop from saying something untoward in front of them and the other day we were talking about sandwiches and fluffernutters came up and I started to say “fluffernutter? I don’t even know her!” But my dad leaned over and goes your lawyer is advising you not to finish this joke at the dinner table” and it was really funny

[emybain]

[emybain]

girls only want one thing

[emybain]

isn't it so funny there's such a thing as "customer service voice"? Like I have to speak to you like a child or you'll rip my face off like a wild chimp

[emybain]

[emybain]

[emybain]

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

[emybain]

i dont need therapy i need to be 8 years old at halloween again