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#i have no idea what's happening here actually
satoruxx · 7 hours
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you're sweating when you wake up, skin sticking painfully to your bedsheets as your bleary eyes dart around, attempting to make focus of your surroundings. the room is still dark, barely touched by the slight bit of moonlight that attempts to peak through the closed windows—defiant. it takes a minute to realize that the sounds that are breaking the silence are actually coming from your own throat—breathy, wheezing gasps of terror.
your stomach drops when your fingers grip cold and empty fabric. he's gone he's gone he's go—
"what are you doing up, pretty?"
your head snaps to the doorway. satoru stands there, sweats hanging low on his hips even as his hand remains curled around a glass of water. his hair is tousled with sleep, but his cerulean eyes are sharp and lively.
as soon as he sees the panic lacing your expression, his eyes widen, long legs practically tripping over themselves as he stumbles towards you.
"what happened?" he asks sharply, frantically placing the cup on the bedside table to take your face into his palms. shades of blue dart back and forth across your features as he perches one knee on the mattress and peers down at you. "are you okay?"
his touch sends electricity through your veins—a splash of ice water pulling you away from that painful reverie.
your heart both clenches and soars, the idea of what you saw being terrifying, and yet finding out it wasn't true being that much more relieving.
"i just—" your voice comes out choked, and satoru's fingers twitch against your skin imperceptibly. "had a bad dream."
you think your brain must be cruel for conjuring up a dream in which satoru could suffer to such abhorrent extents.
"oh sweets." satoru's sigh is sympathetically soft, thumb brushing over the apple of your cheek just barely. "it was just a nightmare."
"i know," you swallow, voice shaking. there's an uncharacteristic wetness pooling at your waterline. "i-it just felt so real."
"baby..." satoru immediately pulls you against the steady planes of his chest, thick arms snaking around your waist to eliminate any measly amount of distance between you two. you prop your chin on his shoulder, sighing as you feel his snowy hair tickling at your cheek.
"it wasn't real, sweetheart," he says, pulling back just slightly to push a piece of hair from your face. his thumb then drags under your eyes, wiping away the unshed tears. "see. you're here, i'm here. everything's all good."
"yeah." you're nodding, unable to take your eyes off of him because he's real and alive and so breathtakingly perfect. "yeah, you're right."
he gives you a lopsided smile, eyes bright and glowing. "i don't like to brag, but i usually am."
you snort out a laugh, missing the way his expression turns pleased at the sound. "hilarious. you love to brag."
"you got me there," he shrugs, grinning as you stick your tongue out at him. the lighthearted banter solidifies the fact that satoru is fine and unharmed and completely yours, but you can still feel the apprehension coursing through your veins. chills run up your spine—you try not to show it.
but of course, satoru has always been able to see right through you.
his teasing smile goes soft, and he inhales deeply.
"was it about me?" he asks, climbing into bed next you. you lay back down carefully.
"yeah," you mumble, watching him tug the blankets over your body and tuck you both under a cocoon of warmth.
"hm." something in his tone tells you he's not unfamiliar with the feelings you seem to be experiencing—his body shifts closer to yours. ocean eyes carefully asses you, deep and calculating and so concerned even as he smoothes a warm palm over your shoulder blades. "wanna tell me what happened?"
the truth is you do want to, because satoru has always understood you better than you've ever understood yourself—you have no doubt he'd be able to comfort you just as well as he normally does.
and yet...
"no," you answer, pressing your nose into his neck. a deep breath in, the lively scent that is so inherently your gojo satoru filling your very soul. "it's okay. i think i'll be fine."
when you shut your eyes, images flash behind them—of bloodied bodies and stitches and swapped souls. yet a chaste kiss to your forehead pulls you back to where you're supposed to be, warm and grounding.
"i know you'll be fine," satoru murmurs, lips tickling your brow as he speaks. you think you can hear the gentle smile as he says it, and your grip on him tightens—never letting go. "i'm right here after all."
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lives-in-midgard · 3 days
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Finally, Back
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: When you hear a loud noise in the middle of the night, you think someone is breaking into your apartment, turns out it's just Bucky who is back from his mission.
Word Count: 820
A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for helping me decide what to post, with voting on this poll. I hope you like it!
Divider made by @firefly-graphics
Masterlist
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Being in a relationship with a superhero wasn’t always easy. Especially if you are a civilian and living a normal life. Well, actually it’s not that normal anymore since you started dating Bucky Barnes. Now you always have to worry when he is on a mission, but when he gets home, Bucky immediately drives to your apartment. Bucky loves you so much and so do you. You had been dating for a few months when you decided to move in together.
You love living with Bucky. From waking up cuddled up with him to going for a walk, cooking together and watching your favorite shows or movies together. Another thing you like to do is reading next to each other and then discuss what happened in the book.
You were currently cooking dinner, normally you would cook with Bucky, but this time you were cooking alone because Bucky was on a mission, which he had already been for three weeks. You weren’t sure where he was or when he would be back. You just knew that it was a dangerous mission and to protect you, Bucky didn’t want to tell you anything about it.
Before Bucky left, he promised you that he would come back home to you and you’re believing and hoping that it’s true and he will come back home soon.
You missed Bucky so much and felt so lonely without him. You started to miss him a lot and everything felt different when he wasn’t here. Especially coming home after work to an empty apartment and no one is waiting for you. Bucky also missed you so much and couldn’t wait to see again. He did his best on this mission, so that he could be home as quickly as possible.
It was in the middle of the night and you couldn’t sleep again. You missed Bucky’s arms around you and how he always gave you a kiss on the forehead before saying goodnight. After lying there for a while, you started to overthink and couldn’t get the idea out of your head that something might have happened to Bucky. You heard the wind outside and some strange noises. Suddenly you heard a loud bang, and someone mumbled something you couldn’t understand. You sat up in your bed and listened carefully. Suddenly you heard someone opening your apartment door.
Shit, someone broke into your apartment. You thought and reached for the gun, you put in the bedside table in case something happens. Bucky taught you how to use it, even though he hoped you would never need it. You stood up and took a deep breath. You had to be brave for Bucky.
You quietly opened the door to your bedroom a bit, held the gun in front of your body and then said loudly.
“Wherever you are, I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!” You opened the door more and took a step out of your bedroom. Suddenly the light went on and you saw Bucky standing a few steps away from you.
“Doll.” He said softly.
“Bucky you’re home.” Tears began to form in your eyes as you watched Bucky walking closer to you. He gave you a soft smile and said.
“Yeah, I’m finally back home with my girl.” He looked at the gun and then back at you.
“I’m sorry for scaring you, doll.” Bucky said and then you realized that you still had the gun in your hands and got nervous.
“Let me take the gun, doll.” Bucky said and you nodded. Then he gently took the gun from your hand and put it in his back pocket. After that, Bucky opened his arms and pulled you into a hug.
“I missed you so much.”
“I missed you more, sweetheart.” You don’t know how long you stood there, hugging each other and telling the other one how much you love and missed each other. After a while you turned away and Bucky placed his hand on your cheek and his metal hand on your back and pulled you into a passionate kiss. When the kiss ended, you smiled at each other and Bucky took your hand.
“Let’s go cuddle.” Bucky said and you giggled, which made Bucky smile. He kissed your forehead and then you went to your bedroom. Bucky changed into different clothes and laid down next to you. Then you laid your head on his chest and Bucky wrapped his arms around you.
You laid there for a while when Bucky suddenly broke the silence.
“Let’s go somewhere, just you and me.” You looked up at him with a smile and Bucky gently rubbed your back.
“Yeah, let’s do this.”
Bucky and you then started talking about some places that you both have wanted to visit for a while and you can’t wait to see these beautiful places with Bucky. After a while, you nodded off in your boyfriend's loving embrace.
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Taglist:
@marvelogic | @eviebuggg | @buckys-wintersoldier | @nicoline1998enilocin | @kandis-mom | @sergeantbarnessdoll | @noellez-best-life23 | @beaubbdoll | @sgtgarricks | @ratchildspartan | @scott-loki-barnes |  @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 | @mrsbuckybarnes1917 | @brnesblogposts
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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 20 hours
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[We went on shopping (it didn’t go well)] - TF141*F!Reader
not a chapter actually just a rambling, it's kinda messy and not my style imo, pls feel free to skip this etc. might rewrite this shit when I have time since I’m busy with my job these days and I just accidentally sliced my thumb open making it difficult to type, hence not much to provide sorry :( and the weird stranger incident in the latter part did happen irl damn it’s creepy af, but I was the one telling them to fuck off tho (they harassing my cute friend RAGE)
Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)
Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
After your car graduates from its car life in about a week, congratulations, the poor shelf accompanies you since your college life is finally undone, fragments spreading across the floor making you shout Mama and mourn for its graduation.
You don’t have a car right now, so when Gaz offers to drive you to buy a new shelf, you agree to his suggestion without a second thought. Yet when the day comes and you open the car door, only to be greeted by the wide smile of Soap and Gaz, you almost slam the door close in reflex.
“Okay, but why do all of you come together? this isn’t an elementary school field trip!” You gawk at them when you squeeze in the car.
“Sounds fun, how can ye not tell us?” 
“Gaz I thought you could seal your lips!”
“Sorry love, Ghost exchanged it with some goodies.”
Oh yeah, Ghost is sitting in the driver’s seat.
Wait, he’s sitting in the driver's seat?
“Goddamnit—“ Your scream dies out on your tongue when said man puts his foot down. 
Ghost does a good job at providing you the same experience as riding a rollercoaster, glad that you didn’t throw up in the car and arrived at the warehouse without dying. If he's your Uber driver, you will give him five stars and block the hell out of him. 
You hop out of the car and walk to the door. As the automatic door parts after sensing your presence, you feel much better when the cold air of the store. Nice a.c. is one of the important features of a nice store, and you already built a fondness for the warehouse with how refreshing the chilly air is inside.
The first area welcoming you is food. Not bad, 6 out of 10 if it needs to be precise. Gaz pushes the cart and follows you as you saunter to the aisle with cereals.
“Oh, they have my favorite brand.” You murmur to him as your eyes travel across the price tag.
Wait, you must still be dizzy because no way it’s 30% cheaper than the same one you just bought from the supermarket.
“Kyle, it says it’s 3 pounds, right?!” pointing at the tag, your voice raises a whole eight-tone with excitement.
“Yes?”
“Good.”
5 boxes of cereal are added to the cart. 
Actually, 9.9 out of 10 for this place, you fix the evaluation as you watch Gaz putting some of those ten bags of chocolate Ghost and Soap dump into the cart back on the shelf, and as a little revenge to Gaz for letting the other two men join the trip without you knowing, you choose to turn a blind eye when you spot Ghost sneaking all of them back in the cart.
Not forgetting the primary goal for today, you go straight to the furniture area after letting Soap throw five packs of gummy bears in the cart and convincing Ghost not to get a cup of tea from the random tea shop. You’ll make a much better one for him when you get home — you coo when he stares at you with unhappy eyes not covered by the mask, glad that he seems to accept the idea, so he huffs and lets you drag him and Soap out of the food area.
“You should buy this.” 
“Ghost I don’t need a green shelf in my shop thank you.”
“Then ye should buy this bonnie!”
“That’s not even a goddamn shelf, Soap.”
“How about this?” 
Your eyes brighten up when Gaz shows you a wooden shelf, it’s stripped-back, with not many decorations, but it surely will fit wonderfully into your store with its aesthetic vibes and high functionality, thus you pick up your phone to type down the product number immediately.
“Oh my, Kyle, you’re the best.”
and you’re too busy typing the numbers down that you don’t notice him shooting the others a taunt of victory.
The last area before the cashier’s counter sets a bookshop. You don’t plan on buying books, but you indeed need to go to the bathroom, so you dismiss yourself and tell them to look around before you’re done.
Why are the bathrooms always hidden in a bloody long hallway? What if someone can’t hold back during their way? Your footsteps echo through the corridor as your mind starts hitting you with a fresh and unnecessary question, glad that you aren’t that urgent though, so you’re able to get to the destination without wetting your pants.
Washing your hands, you step back to the hallway again, but you yelp in surprise when you bump into someone.
“Sorry!” You nod at the man and start heading back to the bookstore.
but it’s weird, the man you just bump into walks so close to you, that you suddenly realize he’s just a step behind you.
Hey, don’t panic, might just coincidence, you try to tell yourself as you make another step.
“Hey, lovely.” Okay, it’s not a coincidence, fucking hell. You curse when his hand touches your shoulder and stops you.
“Sorry for bumping into you, Sir. Anything that I can help?”
“No, I’m waiting for you to separate from the blokes for a while can’t ask for your phone number when they surround you like dogs.”
“I don’t give strangers my number, sorry.” You try to leave, but the man’s hand grabs your shoulder forcefully preventing you from moving.
“Hey, give us a chance yeah? I’m sure we will have some nice time together.”
“I don’t fucking know you!”
Prying off his hand, you turn and start walking fast, almost running when you hear the stranger’s footsteps coming towards you.
Fuck fuck fuck, you haven’t run with such desperation in years, last time must be high school.
“Who the fok are ye arsehole?”
The tears prickling in your eyes when you hear Soap’s voice ringing in your ears before you feel a pair of warm hands drag you behind him.
“Ghost and Soap will deal with him, let’s go.”
Adrenaline pumping through your body finally subsides when Soap and Ghost reappear from the hallway, you don’t want to know what happened to the stranger, maybe hope they’re still alive and in one piece so you won’t involve yourself in another chaos, 
“I think it’s time to go home, Kyle. Is it okay?”
“Of course, wanna grab some food before we leave?”
“I guess Ghost already bought sufficient chocolate for us.”
A burst of laughter catches your attention whilst Gaz looking at the cart with bags of chocolate stuffing under your cereals with disbelief, and a smile crawls back to your lips as you look at Ghost slamming his forehead against a lower door frame and Soap laughing over him.
They aren’t that bad, maybe, or they reserve the remnants of tenderness for you, you’re not sure whether is correct, but at least they have your back when you need them, and that’s enough for you to stop exploring the answer for now.
“Oh.” A book gets knocked off when you shift to stand up. Turning around to pick it up, you have a good look at the shelf behind your seat.
Your eyes dart from ‘Today’s recommendation’ to the book within your grasp.
‘Surrounded by idiots — by Thomas.’
You will rate this recommendation 10 out of 10 for sure.
After insisting on paying yourself and shooing the men off, you take out your card and place it on the scanner.
‘Insufficient balance :( please try again’
You frown when the machine shoves you a nuh-uh, and you open the bank app to check your balance.
So you overspent 10 pounds huh? What a shame to your title for being a successfully financially broken adult. Which link loses and makes you make a wrong shopping decision? 
you scan the list of items with sharp vision until you land your eyes on a product.
Surrounded by idiots - £ 10.61
Ah.
a/n: thx for reading :D sorry it's messy and unlike my previous writings :( hope I can have time to write again btw Price went on business trip so he's missing everything
tag list :D - @blackhawkfanatic @nexthyperfix @danielle143 @goodbyegh0st @reaperxxxxzz @kaoyamamegami @imyprice @cod-z @poppingaround @live-for-fluff @masterstr0ke @mall0ww @ghostysloot @hxnneydew @cutiecusp @beigechristmastree @rejectedbytheempty @lupikekee @hotvinimon @whitetiger846
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honeipie · 2 days
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THE MOMENT
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izuku x fem!reader
synopsis: izuku is asked the exact moment that he fell in love with his wife, and he knows exactly when
authors note: why do i keep writing about podcasts all of a sudden lmaoooo 😭 also i proofread this when i was tired asf so if it’s bad sorryyyy
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“it’s really nice to have you here mr. midoryia! thank you for agreeing to join us on our podcast. we know how busy you are saving the country, so it’s nice to see you in a different light” the man flashed him a smile, which izuku was happy to return.
“yeah of course! i figured i should see why everyone is telling me that this podcast is so great” izuku crossed one of his legs over the other. his pr team thought it’d be a good idea to branch out from the regular news interviews and talk shows, so they had scheduled him a podcast episode on the number one podcast in japan.
“so having the number one hero with us is of course a prime opportunity to pick your brain. all about your hero work, who your role models were throughout the years, and maybe let us look behind the big deku label and just let us get to know midoryia izuku if you allow”
izuku nodded with his picture perfect smile “i’d like that. most people don’t respect that i’m an actual person and not just some figure with no feelings, so i really appreciate that”
the host nodded looking down at his phone “so first we wanted to give you a big congratulations! you are your wife are celebrating your second year of marriage. that must be nice”
“yes we did! thank you from both of us really. i took some time off and we had a really, really nice vacation together. it was nice to be away from all the eyes for a while”
“of course! i know it can probably get hard with all the fans that you have. everybody wanting an autograph, kids lining up to meet you, both women and men alike wanting a chance with you even though you’re clearly married. how do you deal with that in your relationship?”
“a lot of communication, like, a lot” izuku nodded his head slowly just to make his point “we set boundaries to make sure we’re comfortable with everything that happens. like one thing she’s not very comfortable with is fans kissing me on the cheek, and i totally respect that! the first time it happened we did have a bit of falling out but we communicated and got through it”
the host nodded his head listening along “he’s not just good at saving the world folks! he’s also a relationship pro”
this made both of them laugh easing away any underlying tensions that were there before.
“staying on the topic of your relationship we have a question. every week we ask people what questions to ask to our guests when they come onto the show, and the most asked question was this. what was the exact moment that you fell in love with your wife? i mean she must’ve done something to make you look at her the way you do”
“hearty question,” he joked rubbing his hand against his chin “but i’m pretty sure i know when. it was back in UA, third year. it was our last big event before we graduated and i was struggling to get ready”
he could imagine it like it happened yesterday. third year izuku midoryia stood looking at himself in the mirror with an annoyed look on his face. it had been three years and he still hadn’t learned how to tie his damned tie. the lump of a tie sat dead center on his chest staring right back at him, taunting him.
it’s not like he didn’t try to learn. he had kacchan try to teach him. that didn’t end well. he had his mom try too, and he ended up getting his hands tangled. and youtube? forget it.
he silently cursed to himself taking off the tie once more. there were three soft knocked at his door, which at this point, annoyed him further.
“kacchan i said i’d be right out! could you at least wait five minutes before coming back?”
“izuku? it’s me” your voice alone made his shoulders ease. he came over to the door shaking his head.
“i’m sorry y/n. i thought you were kacchan-“ when he finally got a good look at you all of his words caught in his throat. you were wearing a sage green dress that went down to your ankles. he wasn’t complaining though because on the left there was a slit where he got a good view of your legs “but you are definitely not him”
you walked past izuku white heels clicking against the floor “i sure hope not. i don’t think he can pull of this dress like i can” izuku shut the door softly then made a beeline over to you. as soon as you turned around you noticed he was leaning down to kiss you “woah there pretty boy,” you held up a single finger blocking his lips “attitude check first, kisses later. what’s the matter?”
he sighed when you rejected his advances “i don’t have an attitude-“
he stopped when you made your ‘don’t lie to me face’
“fine,” he stood in the mirror and watched as you stood next to him. you looked stunning. the way you wore the dress like it was perfectly crafted for you had him staring long and hard. it made him feel like a doofus beside you with his slightly messy hair and chunky tie.
“i can’t get my tie right”
you snorted turning him towards you “you’re acting like that’s new news” he rolled his eyes at your comment pulling away from your hands “no! baby i’m sorry i didn’t mean it” your hands gently grabbed his wrists pulling him back “i’ll do it for you”
his eyebrows scrunched together as you started slipping off his tie “you know how to tie ties? how? why? when?”
you couldn’t help but laugh at his confused state going to wrap the tie around his neck again straightening it out “my grandma taught me. she said that i need to learn if it i ever find that special man in my life. i didn’t really believe her because who the hell would i be tying a tie for?”
he watched carefully as you flipped the tie around with ease. folding it this way, then slipping it through one of the openings. he also watched your face. concentrated on the task at hand. his heart was racing by the time you slide the perfect knot up to his neck. tilting your head you nodded.
“but i’m glad she did y’know,” you grabbed the middle of his tie pulling him in for a kiss. he wrapped one of his arms around your waist and the other hand went securely on your back. when you pulled away there was a stupid grin on your face “cause there’s no one else i would want to do this for”
it was like he was getting hit by a truck of nostalgia. all the feelings he felt in that moment came rushing back to him. the swoop of his stomach when you pulled him into the kiss. the alarms blaring in his head from the new sensation.
he. was. in. love.
the kind of love people look for in movies, books, shows. he found that in you.
he sighed into the kiss going to move you against the wall. you had your hands on his waist trying to steady yourself. when he pulled away your face was flushed from his sudden actions. which he made sure not to mention in the podcast.
“well maybe i should do your ties more often”
“yeah.. you should”
izuku snapped out of the memory finally placing himself back into reality “that’s how i remember it. i don’t know if my wife remembers differently” he shrugged with a smile on his face.
“wow, that is straight out of a romance book. so does she still tie your ties today?”
izuku nodded “oh yeah, i don’t trust anyone else to do it. even on our wedding day i forced her to tie it. she was all worried about me seeing her before the wedding so i covered my eyes”
you stood there in your white dress trying not to laugh at your 6 foot husband covering his face like a child playing hide and seek “you really want me to do this?”
“please honey”
“only since you asked so nicely, but no peeking!” walking over you went to put his tie on like you did every other time. when you finished you gave his chest a pat “there you go champ”
“y/n.. you didn’t give me a kiss”
“what?”
he let out a childlike sigh “every time you do my tie you pull me in for a kiss. that’s how this works”
now you laughed.
“izu we can’t kiss before we have the wedding. it’s not the way it goes”
“i won’t tell anyone!”
after a couple moments of silence he could feel a tug on his tie as you drew him close. it was a quick kiss, but just enough to get him through.
the host nodded along a bit jealous that his love life wasn't as magical.
"if only we could all be like you and your wife deku”
“i get that a lot. my wife’s pretty great”
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taglist! @sagejin 🫶🏾
comment if you’d like to be added
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oh-allie · 3 days
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then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place n' have a drink or two.
dr. ratio x fem!reader
synopsis; you make veritas ratio so stupid. is he stupid enough to say 'i love you' when he just met you though? hopefully not.
fluff, ratio might be kinda ooc for him to fall for a love at first sight thing. but hes totally whipped for you, i tried 2 make it gen!neutral but "pretty person" just didnt sound right, inspired by frank sinatra's "something stupid." might make a part 2 where after ratio practices for hours what 2 do they go on a date and ratio fumbles rhe bag (in a good way)
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veritas ratio is not stupid. he doesn't say stupid things, he doesn't think stupid thoughts. he'd say he hates the idea of it, if you were to ask him.
and of course a man with outstanding achievements in the fields of biology, medicine, natural theology, philosophy, mathematics, physics, and engineering wouldn’t stumble at the mere sight of a pretty girl, right? you’d think so, but here he was. mouth agape, clammy hands, and a racing heart. it’s stupid.
just cause a pretty girl happened to talk to him. though, to him, you weren't just a pretty girl. he almost thought he was hallucinating- he was about to check for signs of chemical abnormalities in his brain. it was awkward, actually, as he reached out to touch your steady hand to confirm you were real, but didn't have a game plan for what to do if you were (which you were. you are real. and you did stare at his cold fingers brushing against your knuckles.)
“are you alright, mr. ratio?” you say, a breathy chuckle escaping from your lips. you're sat across the table from him, your drink in your hand as you occasionally take sips from the chunky straw that protrudes from the cap.
all you wanted to do was approach a scholar you deeply admired, but it seems like you caught him at a bad time.
you look at him expectantly.
"um. hello?”
you consider standing up to leave, oh well, maybe you could try your luck with a letter to his assistant.
the sound of an awkward throat-clear is heard from across the table, “hi. i’m sorry, you just startled me. wha.. what do you need?” he says, straightforward and curtly. the way the tips of his ears are red and his voice cracks when he says ‘stArtled’ betray the cool demeanor he's trying to present.
“i recognized you from my booth. thought i had to take the opportunity to chat with such an esteemed man. i hope i'm not intruding too much.” you close your eyes as you take another sip, giving him a break from your intimidating gaze.
oh you, you flatter him. and you know it from the way he almost stumbles over his words and his hands get shakier as he realizes he hasn't moved them far enough away from yours to be normal.
he tries to find something, anything to say. anything to say to keep the conversation going, to flaunt his academic prowess that you approached him for, to keep you here with him, but he seems to have lost it all when you sat down.
“my apologies, i'll leave you be, then.” you say with a smirk. placing your napkin that had been resting in your lap onto the table and grabbing your drink, you give him a curt goodbye and walk out of the café.
well fuck.
he blew it. a girl so pretty he was convinced he was hallucinating her just sat by him and tried to talk to him and he blew it. he thinks about what topic he could pour himself into to distract from, what he over exaggerates to be, the biggest mistake of his life. and then his smartass brain turns back on.
he sees the neatly folded napkin you left behind, with curly red ink and blotches protruding behind the elegant folds. he grabs it and carefully unfolds it,
i was about to be late to my meeting. but i wouldn't want to miss a chance to speak with my favorite scholar.
lets link up ###-###-####
he’s quite happy he didn’t speak his mind when he first met you. you make him so stupid. almost stupid enough to blurt out ‘i'm totally in love with you’ when he just met you. he’ll be sure to set some hours aside in the evening to plan what he’ll say to you next time.
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meanbossart · 19 hours
Note
Did Astarion kill DU Drow or did DU Drow pass the checks? (Or did that interaction not happen?)
Cause you’ve basically described DU Drow’s type as THAT Bitch™️ which I respect. But if THAT Bitch™️ killed him too?
Of course this could be me projecting, cause my Durge failed the checks and he came before he went 🫡.
Pretty face, legs for days, a mean streak, AND held a knife to his throat within five minutes of meeting, Astarion had already grabbed his attention, top that off with the fact Astarion actually killed him? My murder man was munted, the Bhaal boy was barking, slaughter son was salivating…
You get the idea
God damn it you're right, his type is just the conceptual archetype of That Bitch isn't it LOL
THAT BEING SAID you are actually mistaken! He may not like suck-ups, but he likes strangers putting knives to his throat even less.
Not to mention: Astarion's immediate order of business after that is to try and desperately get on your good side. In other words, doing the very thing that puts DU drow off. He didn't care for Astarion or his attempts at seduction at all, held him at arms' length, and was just a dismissive asshole to him throughout the majority of Act 1 (he was an asshole to everyone at that stage though, to be fair.)
It was only at the tiefling party when Astarion, completely unprompted, implied that the very idea of having sex with him disgusted him that DU drow became interested and started pursuing him. In the narrative I made up for this course of events, I like to think Astarion realized that his usual strategy wouldn't work here and that he was dealing with a man who only wants what he can't have. DU drow is a contrarian at heart, and for as long as Astarion was throwing himself at him he was going to be turned down.
Astarion only bit him after they started having sex, and at that point he had already told DU drow about his vampirism through normal dialogue ("Well, Obviously."). This is sincerely the only way he got away without being staked when that scene triggers (and it was honestly really cool to experience it in that order because it felt a lot more strategic from my POV as the player).
The bite was definitely a turning point in the relationship (DU drow enjoys being hurt by people he values under a controlled environment, but isn't fully aware of it due to his missing memory -> now his object of carnal desire puts that very concept on the table on a habitual basis, making it pretty much a pillar of the relationship -> DU drow begins to see Astarion as someone who actually has something to offer him, instead of just being a pretty conquest that he can show off.) However he still attempted and passed the first check to break free from it. They weren't close enough for DU drow to completely let go of his sense of self-preservation, nor did he come to trust Astarion entirely for a long time even after that. At that stage, if Astarion had sucked him dry (and then revived him, I guess) DU would have most definitely killed him.
(And If you're wondering how this translates to my actual gameplay - I wasn't taking the game seriously because I don't usually like fantasy as a genre, so I made a guy, named him Drow, and proceeded to be a huge dick to everyone until they all ultimately wormed their way into my heart while I kicked and screamed.)
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chaos-in-deepspace · 2 days
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LNDS: Bongo Butts | 18+
I should be going to bed but I forgot to do laundry so here I am, writing more content that nobody asked for. Just like motorboating them...when I see them butts. Just. WHAM BAM. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Also hope you know I had to research different types of dump trucks for this fic.
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Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+. Warnings: Ass Slapping, Crack Fic, Playing their asses like they're bongos, Zayne's lost sanity, Rafayel is scandalized as per usual, you mentally scar Raf, Xavier is confused as per usual, but is he confused?, he does get you back tho
Blog Information | Masterlist
Xavier
Xavier really did need to be more careful around you. He was the one who wanted you to date him first, in your defense. He chose you. And you wouldn't let a single day go by that you didn't prove why that was a horrible decision on his end. At the very least, he could claim that he was never bored with you around.
Today was supposed to be a lazy day. You two had off from all missions and were relaxing around the apartment since it was too damn hot to actually go outside. It also happened to be laundry day for Xavier, so he was dressed in his workout attire while his uniforms were being deep cleaned from all the dirt that accumulated on them during his missions.
Those shorts. They were so damn short. You'd even call it slutty because hot damn. His ass was just right there. It was staring at you. Hypnotizing you like it was a snake charmer. Your hands were already twitching in a grabby motion as you stared directly at those perfectly rounded globes on his backside. His beautiful bubble butt.
Xavier could feel your stare burning into him as he looked over his shoulder. He was just sun bathing by the window, laying on his stomach. So vulnerable to your upcoming attack.
"Something you need?" Damn, he already sounded suspicious. It might've been by how you were practically drooling with your hands up, ready to grab at him. It was a slight give away. He should've been more prepared though, because you lunged at him in that moment.
He only had time to turn slightly when you pushed him back on his stomach, sitting on his back to pin him down. Your hands took a fistful of his ass before you began hitting them with little force. Just watching them jiggle with every little slap of your hands.
You were cackling like a maniac as you continued your assault until he managed to maneuver you off of him. You were laughing, your cheeks flushed as you almost teared up. His entire face was red as he stared at you in horror. Then you saw a flash in his eyes and you knew you were done for.
He grabbed you, pulling you onto his lap. Then you felt a harsh slap at your ass, making you squeal. It was so much rougher than you had hit him. He stared at your back side and did it again.
"I can see why you found this so entertaining. I think I'll play with this for now."
"Unhand me you creatine!"
"I think not, if I let you go, who knows what else you'll do to me."
Zayne
Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on Akso's best Cardiac Surgeon knew that one thing was a pure fact. He had an ass. His doctor's coat did a good job concealing it, but he couldn't wear it all the time. You had even noticed a few nurses who would glance down at him when he passed them in the hallway.
It was something you knew very well about Zayne, and something the man seemed oblivious to. The man didn't just have a dump truck as a rear end, it was a dump trailer. That shit could keep a family fed for an entire year. It was so perfect in every way. You could grab onto one cheek with both hands and you still wouldn't be able to capture the entire thing.
Yet for some reason, Zayne had no idea just how badly you needed his ass. You would often times find yourself staring at it when you hung out, had an appointment, or were just lounging at the apartments. It plagued your thoughts. You were losing sleep over this. It wasn't good for your health.
"Zayne..." You said as you relaxed on the couch next to him. You two were catching up on a TV show that you started well over a month ago but hadn't had time to really enjoy it.
"Yes, did you need something?" Oh how sweet he was, always looking out for you.
"Yes actually...can you lay down on your stomach for me? I wanna do something." You said, knowing that this man would do just about anything you asked. He eyed you for a moment, contemplating if he wanted to play this game with you.
"Might I inquire as to why?"
"That's for me to know, and you to find out."
Zayne took one more moment before giving in. He adjusted his position, laying down on his stomach just as you had asked. You decided to be subtle, leaning over his form and placing your hands on his shoulders at first. You gently caressed the skin there, massaging the muscles through his shirt as you slowly made your way down to the small of his back.
There it was. The prize. The holy grail of all asses. It was ripe for the taking as you looked over to see Zayne's closed eyes as he relaxed under your touch. You didn't hesitate. Your hands slapping down on his ass and grabbing it roughly.
His eyes shot open as he looked over at you. You licked your lips as you began gently slapping the flesh, watching the bounce as though it were made of jelly. It was a sight to behold and you couldn't help yourself. You had seconds before Zayne reacted and pulled your grubby little hands off him.
So you leaned your head in and bit down. His pants managed to cushion him from the force of your bite, but he sure as hell felt it. He sat up and grabbed you under the arms like a cat, stopping you in your tracks as you stared at him.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Playing with your nice ass."
"My butt is not a play thing."
You paused for a moment, eyes trailing down to the front of his pants, "If you aren't gonna let me slap your ass, can I play with your dick like it's a Bop-It?"
You watched Zayne go through five stages of grief. He sighed as he grabbed a blanket next to him, wrapping your entire body like a burrito so your limbs were no longer effective. He then sat back down on the couch with his legs open and placed you between, holding you tightly to his chest.
"I'm begging you, please be quiet for once and let's finish this show."
Rafayel
He should've known you were up to something if your gaze was anything to go off of. You had zeroed in on him the moment you had come over. Even during your little date as you two explored Linkon together, he knew something was up. Your not so subtle glances in his direction couldn't be considered innocent.
If only he knew why you were staring so hardcore. He had gotten a new pair of pants, or at least you assumed they were new. You were pretty sure you'd remember them with how good he looked at the moment. It was tight on him, accentuating his ass perfectly. You were pretty sure if you riled him it would also perfectly outline another aspect of him.
Still, you had a mission. Rafayel didn't know it yet, but the moment you had caught a glimpse of him this morning, you knew what had to be done. His muffins needed to be squished. His plump little cushions had to be properly admired and worshipped. You would be the one to happily give them the attention they deserved. An ass sculpted by the gods themselves were staring at you literally all day.
You closed the door to his home slowly, turning over to him. He was already heading to the living room. You slowly stalked behind him, and he could feel you were up to no good.
"Something caught your interest? I know I look good, but not even you normally stare at me this much."
"I just think you look particularly handsome today is all." As does his ass. You couldn't say that yet though, he would realize what your plans were if you verbalized it too early. Like a cat stalking a mouse, you followed him until he was in the living room. The moment he was by the couch you took action.
You rushed behind him and pressed down on the small of his back, making him stumble forward. He grabbed the edge of the couch, his body hunched over. Rafayel turned just in time to watch you drop down to your knees. Then he felt your hands harshly gripping his ass. Then the quick slaps in succession followed as you began laughing maniacally.
"Finally!" You said as you grabbed at them again. Rafayel finally reacted, rolling onto the couch to get away from your hands. You were practically panting as your hands twitched, "Come on Raf, lemme just squeeze em again."
"You are a psychopath." He said, hiding his ass from your view.
"I'm your psychopath though." Despite how horrified Rafayel looked, he was also amused by your antics. He grabbed at your arm, making you fall forward and your chest pressing against his own. His hands went to grab at your ass this time, squeezing them and laughing.
"You know, I think I'm seeing the appeal of this." He commented, his hands lazily hitting your ass cheeks like you had to him, although he was far more calm about it.
"See, it's amazing...now can I go back to playing with your butt? I wasn't done yet."
"I think not...although this has given me an idea. Do you mind if I paint your backside?"
"You wanna paint on my ass?"
"Perhaps."
"...I'll agree if you let me eat your-" Rafayel had never cut you off so quickly.
"Never mind."
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The most accurate representation of what we're doing to these poor men. I will not be silenced. Their asses need to be slapped. And ate
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mayakern · 1 day
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Why....why are the sweaters 3/4 sleeve??? Personally I would totally get a black sweater (or white tbh) but I can't vibe with a 3/4 sleeve (for a few reasons, mostly various sensory/attention problems) so i was wondering why that choice was made and whether there's any chance of a full length sleeve being made in addition or instead? But also I'm curious as to exactly what kind of fabric it is? Is it an anti-pill material? (Pilling is one of my fabric enemies)
so first off, this as is about the lace collar sweaters that will be hitting the store later this year. you can watch the full video here, but i’m including screenshots as well for those of y’all who don’t want to watch the video.
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2nd, i get that everyone has personal preferences, but this was unnecessarily rude. you’re not going to like every decision we make, and that’s OK, but if you’re old enough to use a credit card to buy things online, you’re old enough to realize that product decisions you dislike were not made to personally gall you.
there were a few reasons we chose to do 3/4 sleeves, but the primary reason was that 3/4 sleeves work better for a variety of arm lengths. a 3/4 sleeve will look good whether someone’s arm is shorter or longer than average, whereas a full length sleeve can easily be too long or too short for the person wearing it. we also didn’t want to do short sleeves because at the time the only other shirt we had in production was the wrap top, which has short/cap sleeves.
we do have some full long sleeve shirts/sweaters in planning/in production that we have not shown off yet, but currently we do not have plans to make a long sleeve version of this particular sweater because we have no idea what sales will look like. if these sweaters sell well and there’s considerable customer demand, we’ll consider doing long sleeves. if these sweaters sell poorly they will not be returning to the store, period. we are a small business with limited funds and we cannot throw infinite money at the wall.
last, the fabric composition is 62% polyester, 33% viscose, 5% elastane. we tested a lot of fabrics for this sweater, and this was the only one that felt right. its appropriate thickness (not super thin, but not super thick, so that it can easily be layered under warmer garments or worn solo without causing you to overheat), the cute ribbing, and the texture/feeling (which don’t aggravate my textural sensitivities as an autistic person with very sensitive skin) were all just right.
we’ve also done a number of wash tests and did not encounter any issues with pilling. in general, if you take good care of our garments, that is not going to be an issue from our current manufacturer, who have demonstrated time and again that they prioritize quality labor and material that is made to last. the reason shein products fall apart isn’t because they’re made of polyester: it’s because the sewing is rushed and the fabric fibers are low quality and often have a looser knit or weave, which makes them more prone to damage/falling apart on a structural level.
as for pilling specifically, pilling is actually the fabric breaking. looser weaves/knits are more prone to breakage because they are more open and cheap fabrics are often made of looser weaves, which results in more pilling. but even a high quality material can pill under the right (or wrong) circumstances. when fiber is wet, similar to hair, it is more vulnerable to breakage, and washing machines with agitators (the big thing in the middle of some washers) are really really good at breaking your fibers, thus resulting in more pilling.
anyway tldr the sweaters shouldn’t have any pilling issues if you treat them right and full length sleeves are not likely to happen but are not totally impossible.
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Hey!! I was wondering if i could request what you think some housewardens would be like with a S/O who makes a lot of references? Whether it's anime, video game, pop culture etc etc, I don't mind which ones you choose as long as Idia is there!! Thanks :D ur underrated
A man of culture
Thank you so much for the request and the kind words, it really makes my day <3 I mostly kept the references vague, because as much as i love them, i am horrible at coming up with them- Hope you enjoy!
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Reader makes a lot of references
Characters: Idia, Malleus, Cater
Format: Headcanons
Warnings: None that i can think off
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Idia
-You're on a somewhat big bolder, looking down at him "It's Over, Anakin, I Have the High Ground!" He is down on one knee with a ring, Or at least he would be were he not way to socially anxious he is so in love with you it is unbelievable
-Because it would most likely mean that you not only make references, but would also understand his! He won't have to switch to normie language nor constantly explain everything!!
-I feel like he'd be a lot more comfortable around you, because he feels more 'normal' with you; he knows you won't judge him for his word choice nor his interested, because you do the same!
-Of course his social anxiety won't disappear completely, he is still anxious around you, especially because your important to him, and there might be some days were it's worse and needs time to himself, that of course won't change that he loves you and tries to be as open as he can be with you (Speaking from experience here lol)
-If you two are dating/really close, he'll let you still chill in his room, even during some of his worser days, just don't expect much conversation. 
-Don't be afraid to look over and make a joke or reference based on what he's currently watching/playing, you'll make his day! He might not reply, but you can hear him laugh :)
-On his better days, chances are the two of you are having a date in his room, watching anime or playing video games in wich he definitely won't get competitive, noooo while eating snack and you're just almost exclusively talking in references, just going back and forth-
-In fact, not just during dates, during the few times he is outside it would be the same!.. much to your friends dismay, because most of the time, they can't understand a word you say. Cater might understand one or two from pop culture or if they're popular memes but that's about it
-Ortho also understands because he can just look it up! He very much approves of the two of you, because thanks to you, his brother is outside AND smiling for more than a few seconds, that's an absolute win in his book! :)
Malleus
-He doesn't understand a word you're saying, but he loves you anyway.
-Most of the time he just lets you say your references, happy you're comfortable enough around him to be yourself, even it confuses him!
-If the reference directly impacts the conversation though, or if one just happened to catch his interest. He'll listens very intensely to your explanation, almost scarily so! Not that you would ever find him truly scary <3
-You'd probably hold back from making to many references around him, not wanting to confuse him. When he finds out, he tells you not to. He wants you to be able to be your authentic self, and if he gets to ramble about gargoyles to you, then it's only fair that you get to make as many references as you want, no? He just needs some explanation some times
-That gives you an idea! You make a slideshow about the most common/popular, as well as your favorites, to show to him!.. Turns out he doesn't know what a slideshow is, but he is intrigued!
-So now you have a date teaching him how to make slideshows and help him make one about gargoyles! Now you have a slideshow date at least once a week, where you explain refrences and he talks about slideshows :)
-He is actually really happy about it, it shows your comfortable enough to be yourself around him and your slideshows lets him understand a bit of modern media, making it just a tad bit easier to get along with his classmates!  
Cater
-He either gets all of them or none of them; it really depends on the type of references tbh
-If it's pop culture, then he would get most of it, you'd be the type of couple who flirts through references and memes
-Half of his tweets would just be stuff like "[Insert popular hot character] ain't got nothing on my s/o" and his fans have a field trip every time. He'd also sends you like a bunch of memes and "Happy spouse, Happy life" videos
-So if you do the same? He'd love you even more than he already does! He really loves all your references that he does get, they never fail to make him laugh! You two would just be out and about, till you spot a dog that can jump very high, "Oh wow, that dog can jump higher than super Mario himself." You look to your side and see cater giggling to himself, a genuine smile on his face   
-And if you compliment him through references? Suddenly, he is very flustered!
-It might take him a while to accept the compliments though; You can't tell me he isn't actually insecure behind that influencer act. But once he does, he'll be a flustered mess every time, stuttering while trying to come up with an equally flirty comeback, BUT once he gets used to it, you two will absolutely go back and forth trying to out-reference-complement each other
-If it's anime or video game references, i feel like it'd be a bit different, since he would probably not get them unless they're really mainstream- I don't see him too invested in stuff like that 
-He'll still encourage you though, because he adores the how you'll excitedly compare something to your favorite scene, or how monotonly you'll compare someones stupidity to a character that's known for their stupidity 
-He loves it all, even those that he doesn't understand :)
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This was so fun to write!! also, first time writing Cater, kinda nervous
Feedback is welcome, just be nice :)
hope you have a nice day/night!!
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I Swear I Thought of This Months Ago: Different Doctors in Midnight
The thing with Midnight is that shit goes wrong because it's a companion-lite episode. The two people the Midnight Entity singled out to possess where the two people traveling alone. They were easy to isolate from the group. If the Doctor's not traveling alone here, and there's this human who came in with him just going along with whatever he's doing, it's going to seem less suspicious. So, what would happen to any Doctor in Midnight is based more on their companions than the Doctor. Donna took the day off of adventuring to enjoy the spa. Not all companions would do that. First Doctor: He may get on everyone's nerves, but he's going to have a granddaughter with him and people will judge him less harshly because he has a family. You've got a couple with their teenage son there. They see an old grandpa with a granddaughter the same age as their son, they're going to see him as someone like them. As for the granddaughters, Susan wouldn't want to leave her grandfather and Vicki canonically is more interested in adventures than relaxation. I'm less sure about Dodo, because nobody is sure about Dodo. She's a wild card.
Second Doctor: A group of people in a small space menaced by a monster? Might as well be a base under siege. He's in his element here. He also tends to be better at understanding human nature than most Doctors, so even if he was alone, he might not end up quite so isolated. And he wouldn't be alone. Out of a combination of loyalty and discomfort with spa environments, Jamie would definitely be with him.
Third Doctor: Following the Doctor around on his adventures is literally what Jo was hired to do. She'll be the one telling everyone that the Doctor is an expert on basically everything and she trusts him so they should too. If they try to throw him out she'll try to either take his place or go with him and nobody will want to hurt her. Nobody wants to hurt Jo. Even the Master didn't want to hurt Jo.
Fourth Doctor: When Four shows up somewhere, being weird, acting like he owns the place, and having way too much fun in a crisis, people tend to sort of roll with it. It's a superpower he has. But, if we want to turn the superpower off, we've sort of got three eras to consider. Sarah Jane would probably follow the Doctor, since she's still a holdover from Three's "companions are literally the Doctor's assistants" era. Leela would not understand the appeal of a spa and would threaten people into listening to the Doctor. As for Romana...Okay, we've got another Time Lord. I actually don't know. She'll probably go with him and might have slightly more luck with the locals.
Fifth Doctor: Really depends on the TARDIS team. Tegan's going to take the goddamn spa day and will talk Nyssa into going with her if she's around. If it's just Nyssa, she'll go with the Doctor and everyone loves Nyssa, so everything will be fine. Turlough is going to enjoy a pleasant day off. He can relax, do a bit of sketching, and not have to deal with yet another traumatic incident. Adric would not understand the idea of a spa, call it stupid, get into a fight with Tegan, and if he wasn't going with the Doctor before this, the Doctor would insist purely to separate the two and restore order. Adric has no social skills, so he wouldn't exactly make the Doctor look better, but like with One and his various granddaughter companions, the family on the train would be more comfortable with a family man.
Sixth Doctor: The classic Doctors have done well so far but Six is probably fucked. Peri would probably like a day off from him and the violent shit that happens around him. Mel might try to get him to stay at the spa for health purposes. I don't know the EU well, but Evelyn might have a chance of coming along and getting him to behave, but no promises for anyone else.
Seventh Doctor: Of course Ace is there. Yet another Doctor passes as a family man and it's easy.
Eighth Doctor: I don't know the EU well and Eight is the Whoops All EU Doctor, but he seems to pick up companions that would follow him around here, being all human and convincing the humans not to bully him. But, considering Eight's luck, they'd probably try to throw him out of the train anyway and he'd end up traumatized again.
Ninth Doctor: Might actually consider just spending the day at the spa, but if he gets bored and goes on an adventure, Rose probably gonna follow him. The day is saved with the Power of Love or something.
Eleventh Doctor: Amy wants to go with the Doctor despite Rory's protests. There's a lot of bickering but they get out fine.
Twelfth Doctor: Clara is his carer who cares so he doesn't have to, so preventing Midnight incidents is sort of what she's there for. For Bill, this would be an educational experience. Twelve gets on everybody's nerves a bit, and he gives a speech about how stupid everyone's being, which doesn't actually help, and he'll probably end up getting punched in the face, but not thrown out of the train.
Thirteenth Doctor: She tells her companions to just enjoy themselves and wanders off alone. If they insist on following her, and Yaz probably would, we're fine. If she successfully ditches her companions, she's in trouble. She'll openly admit to being socially awkward, but I'm not sure if that would actually help in this situation.
Fourteenth Doctor: He's retired. He's probably staying with Donna. If not, everything mainly goes the same as it does with Ten, but it feels more cruel.
Fifteenth Doctor: Ruby would go with him and he's actually pretty good with people anyway. I'm guessing the Fourteen remembered being Ten and regenerated into someone unlikely to be thrown out of a train on a death planet just in case.
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gotham-daydreams · 2 days
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For your Not [] I was wondering how would Alfred and Y/n's relationship post kidnapped will go? Down the drain? Sure, they may have some reprieve from the rest of the family with Alfred, but would they resent Alfred for causing them to come back to the manor? After gathering the clues it was Alfred that pushed them to find you.
Also would Y/n have eventually gotten back into contact with Alfred after taking their much needed break away from the family, to help figure out and find themselves?
Well, that's the thing, I suppose!
I have thought about their relationship post kidnapping, and honestly I don't even know if the reader will ever logically know the extent of what Alfred has done to ensure that they stay in the position they're in. Especially, well, considering how I plan for Chapter 4 to go.
Of course at some point they'll definitely be able to deduce that he did something- they'll be able to tell from the things some of the Batfam says and just generally how Alfred acts, even if said things they catch with Alfred aren't all as they seem. But if they'll know the full extent of it? How much he played a part in what happened? In what ends up happening? Maybe not, not everything but maybe enough to be afraid. To get a peak into the ruin and shitty mess that is their life, and the true extent of that ruin. But a glance is only a glance, y'know?
I guess that's the scary thing - for me personally, anyways - that they won't know right away. That even when it happens they'll have no idea, and for those moments where they remain ignorant, unaware, and blind- Alfred is their saving grace. The only sane person amongst the endless sea of madness and derange that is the Batfam. The only person that seems to under their side, that not only comforts them but someone they actually feel comfortable and safe with. Alfred is the only one they trust, and... well, I rather not spoil how he feels about that.
Though, for the reader- from the little they put together and the little they know, its heartbreaking all the same. They don’t want to accept it- who would? The only person after being stripping and taken from their life- is just as insane as the rest? The only person they felt like they could confide in? That they could trust? That they could allow themselves to be vulnerable with when the others were away? That person is just as insane? Just as cunning and- and tricked them too?
It ruins them, and even if I won't say much else as it will be shown when I have it written- I think what I've said here is a good enough image of how badly things get from there once the reader even gets an idea of what Alfred may have potentially done. Though even if they did reach out now, they would probably still hold the whole "everything is fine" attitude they've got going on, and just try to talk to him normally- if not then at least passively mention how the family is sort of being weird and giving you a hard time (will that cause him to stop them? Not at all, but maybe things could've turned out differently. Which may be a recurring thing?? Well- it sort of already is but yk!)
As for the reader reaching out- I think I mentioned this in an previous (albeit older) post a bit in passing, but the reader has technically been in touch with Alfred! Just... not in a way he prefers. They are technically communicating with him, but it's very one sided (which is by design) and... well, may or may not be one of the reasons Alfred kick started this mess.
If this didn't answer your question then I apologize! Feel free to send in another ask if you want, and I can clarify anything you have any questions about!
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iceinwhb · 2 days
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BESTIE Listen... I need Leviathan to breed me
Like Babytrap
Like.... He's as anxiety that one day MC will leave him sooooo He's going to put a stop here. And of course he makes mc all his win win.
I like the idea... Wait.
﹅ contains ;; what in hell is bad, Leviathan, sensitive content, nsfw, explicit content.
﹅ warnings ;; Enjoy it!
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Your fingers tightened in nervousness, perhaps because you knew what it meant to be walking right up to Leviathan's throne.
You tried to believe it was because he was frustrated, and suffocated with his job, taking care of his citizens, but it was becoming more recurrent that this kind of incident happened, more and more often, to the point that you still weren't able to take a step away from Hades, because Leviathan needed your company.
But the reason you were anxious, was actually because it was that day, Leviathan wasn't waiting for you with a silent and fixed gaze, but he was tearing up his entire hall, in whatever way he could.
He didn't wait, he didn't call you either, not like last time. You were running, trying to catch up with Barbatos' quick steps, and when you finally caught up with him, that's when you reached the door. He opened it for you, but even if you had already arrived, you were stopped by the silence inside.
It didn't seem to bother Barbatos because he pushed you inside, gave you a sweet “good luck,” and closed the door behind your back. You didn't turn around, and try to fight for your freedom, because the menace in the gray eyes was too sharp for your arrival.
“What took you so long.” It was a question but it seemed to demand a quick answer. At least before he left the spot he was sitting on and headed your way. “Why did you get up, where were you?”
You opened your mouth, before frowning.
“I was walking around the square, before you went fucking insane, and I came in his coffin, so…” Leviathan leaned back against the door, almost to the point where your nose brushed his chest. You swallowed saliva, as fingers lifted your head, and uncovered your neck.
“You went to the square, and you hid it.”
“Aren't you supposed to feel bad? You look perfectly fine.” You crossed your arms, and raised an eyebrow. “I want to go out, and preferably, go Gehenna as soon as possible.”
He moved closer, clearly annoyed, to the point that he would truly hang you, but instead, a soft kiss was pressed to your lips.
“You wouldn't have to go anywhere if you just stayed here.” You were surprised, and ignored his fingers intruding on your arms, to pull them apart. “Just accept that you're staying here.”
“No one knows, not even you.” You licked your lips, before a smug laugh came from him, and he kissed you again, slowly, with the typical strange sweetness that most of the time he never had.
You tried to push him away, but you only made him open his eyes and become slightly softer, enough to convince you of anything that wasn't normal, but you couldn't help that strange need to understand his intentions.
Maybe even feel you immersed in the soft caresses before you sucked in your lip slowly, enough to think about exactly where you'd been all week, but it didn't matter enough when he opened his mouth.
You lifted your arms, to tangle around his neck and went deeper inside, even playing with his tongue and teasing every time he tried to subdue you. You didn't let him breathe, to the point where you felt a moan vibrate through your mouth.
You released him soon after, with one last suck on his tongue, and sighed.
“Next time you lie to me, I won't come back.”
He didn't hear a word, you knew perfectly well by the way he slid into your neck, as his hands lifted you up, and teeth nibbled at your flesh, before sucking greedily.
Your flesh bristled, as the panting got louder. You knew he was looking for a way to keep any marks made by him from being hidden, and he seemed to challenge you for it.
You crossed your legs over his hips as he took you deeper into the room. You shuddered, as he licked more intensely and you smiled, at how absurdly wet he was.
The erection even pressed against your stomach and became sticky on your clothes. You moved your hands to the pants, and froze when you realized that there was no clothing to get in the way of the wet dick, to the point that it had already stain even your stomach.
You opened your mouth, but it seemed like an invitation for him to lunge inside you. He sat you down, on his own throne, and his hands slowly unbuttoned your shirt, like your pants.
He also deftly slid down to the panties, which he pulled down quickly outside of what would be usual.
You pulled away, breathing hard as the last chance to leave the place slipped through your toes.
“Why…?”
He slid his touch under your thigh, and along your leg, and again you felt the heat, the vibration and the wetness that the blunt tip gave off.
“Can you only think about that?” a moan mingled with yours as the cock rubbed against you. You shuddered, knowing what was coming, but your body still couldn't take the hard thrusts, pushing all the way in.
You held his shoulder, trying not to let the sensation escalate, but all Leviathan did, was thrust into you, battering your insides to his pleasure and enjoyed the sigh until he cummed.
You laced your fingers in his shoulder, while the other reached for the arm that held from crushing you. You shivered at the warm sensation filling your belly. He came out slowly, his attention on the clear image of you, ruined on his throne.
Your legs tightened, from the lack of an orgasm. You swallowed spit, and looked up, annoyed.
“You know what you're doing.”
A small chuckle came out, before he lifted you up, and straddled you over him. This time, the introduction was gentler, at least when you held onto his chest.
“I never do anything as useless as that.”
“This is fucking tiring.” You dropped your head on his shoulder, as you rubbed the most sensitive places. You moaned, this time, trying to hold on as you enjoyed every place you could reach. The climax was long, and almost destructive, burning your brain slowly.
“Wait!” Overstimulation hit the sensitivity of your nerves, as you tried to escape the position, avoiding its continued movement.
But Leviathan only spun you around. He took you to the floor, where you held on barely by your knees and elbows. You gasped in surprise, as moans filled your mouth from the raw sensation. He was fucking you again, pressing even your hands to the floor with his, and moving mercilessly.
You tried to escape through the heaviness that was beginning to press against your lower abdomen, lowering your hips, but he followed you, reluctant to leave your insides even if he slammed you to the floor.
He was pushing you too hard, to the point where he was even hitting the right places to bring on another orgasm.
“That's enough! Wait!” When you tried to move, you moaned from the pressure that kept building up, even spilling down your pelvis and staining the floor.
You realized that even if he was just fucking you, he was still filling you with his seed, on the edge of your limit. The sob mingled with a grunt, the warmth of his mouth pressed against the back of your neck, to the point where a spike of pain prickled inside you.
“It's too…”
“I won't do anything useless.” He held your leg, lifted it and sucked noisily on the tibia. Le erection was getting harder and harder, as the movements continued. “Will end when it comes to its purpose.”
Your head blanched as you writhed from the painful pleasure, but your quickly understood the words, perhaps because at the time it was too literal.
“You ca…” You screamed in surprise when they were facing each other, and he thrust in slowly, too slowly to get another orgasm from you when there was no inch of distance.
You breathed hard, this time, more semen gushing out with the slightest movement.
“Who told you no?” He leaned down to lick your lips, as the small movements made you grumble louder. “It's been a week now… No rest, every night. I wouldn't be so brazen with that, not so reckless even now either.”
“Levi…”
“If you're not… You soon will be.”
You clenched your jaw, while slowly closing your eyes, dizzy.
“Marriage is usually requested...”
⛧✃✃✃⛧✁✁✁⛧✃✃✃⛧✁✁✁⛧
I had to re-read Levi's H, but it was worth it! Sorry if it took me a while, I usually write them fast, but I have five hours doing something I haven't finished.
Anyway… Had a fetish with that chair for as long as I've known it existed, don't blame me. Also with some hallway, but Levi's too jealous for that. I really enjoyed writing it, honestly! (I always want to drag on, but I can never get enough of my favorite. I'm so happy with this.)
109 notes · View notes
writtenwhalien · 1 day
Text
jump then fall (into you) | part 2
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banner by the talented @jimilter​ 💖
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pairing ↠ jungkook x reader
genre ↠ cruise AU, fake dating AU, best friends to lovers AU | fluff, angst, smut
word count ↠ 52k (pt 2. 14k)
18+ | warnings ↠ swearing, drinking, sexual content: foreplay, oral m. and f., protected sex etc.
summary ↠ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
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note. i hope you're enjoying! ☺️ don't forget to interact please + here's a few songs that inspired me and this story (more at the end too!): photograph — ed sheeran i think i fell in love today — kelsea bellerini where are you now — lost frequencies & calum scott 3:15 (breathe) — russ words — alesso & zara larsson jump then fall — taylor swift
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part 2
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🍉 note. while I have your attention, I would like to divert it to those in palestine as israel commits war crimes against them. Innocent men, women and children are being tortured, degraded, displaced and murdered endlessly — it is a genocide and we are all complicit if we do nothing.
as a minimum, please donate to legitimate organisations + boycott the big 3 — starbucks, disney and mcdonald’s — as well as others. feel free to message me for more information and/or donation links, thank you <3 🇵🇸
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You know what he wants you to say, but as you feel his fingers around yo, all you can think of is how wrong they feel — they’re not as long as the ones you’re most familiar with, not as calloused on the palms  or soft from the back. Every moment with Jungkook from the past few weeks buzzes through your mind and it all starts to make sense – you’ve always known Jungkook makes you happy but you never thought about why…
Looking up at Lawrence, you nod slowly. “Yes,” you say, softening the words in the hopes it softens the blow.
It’s a quiet confession, not only because you’re pretending to date Jungkook, but because now you’re no longer sure if your heart is open to anyone else besides him.
Lawrence smiles, releasing a small breath he’d been holding. “I had to ask,” he chuckles.
You’re sure his cheeks are turning pink but with the dim lighting, you can’t be sure. 
Lips pursing, you nod.
There’s another moment of hesitation from him, then he kisses your cheek once before stepping back. 
“I’m glad I asked though, I’d probably regret it forever if I didn’t,” he adds, eyes gleaming as they look over your face. 
You manage to smile despite feeling bad and a little awkward now — it’s not every day someone confesses to your face like this. “It’s okay, I get it.” 
Just while your mind races to find an excuse to leave now, Lawrence’s gaze shifts to behind your shoulder and his eyes suddenly widen, face going somewhat pale. You turn around, eyes following his line of sight and when you see who’s standing there, you’re sure your expression mirrors Lawrence’s. 
Jungkook and Alias stand more than a few feet away by the staircase towards the upper decks, but it’s not hard to see their expressions from here. 
Alias purses his lips and looks at Jungkook before he shifts his weight awkwardly. But it’s Jungkook you’re focused on. His expression is blank and he just stares at Lawrence and you.
How long has he been standing there? Why isn’t he doing anything? And why do you only now realise how close you and Lawrence are still standing while holding hands too? 
You let go, stepping back abruptly too but you know it doesn’t make a difference. 
Jungkook's lips curl into a curt yet polite smile before he turns and disappears around the corner. 
What the hell is happening? 
Jungkook and you aren’t even dating for real for this to be a problem so why on earth does it feel like you’ve actually done something so wrong?
The guilty feeling in your chest grows as you stand still, still looking upon where he was.
“I’m so sorry,” Lawrence apologises immediately. “I can go talk to him, it was all my fault.”
“No it’s fine,” you shake your head, managing a smile. “I should talk to him, don’t worry.” 
He nods and you walk away before he can say anything else.
“Walk with me?” you say as you approach Alias. 
He nods, falling into stride beside you. “What was that about?” he asks, nodding back in the direction of Lawrence.
“Um, he told me he likes me, or at least did,” you wince. 
“Ah, that explains it.”
You shoot him a look. “That explains what?”
Alias hesitates. “Well, he looked like he was about to kiss you.”
Oh gosh. “But he wasn’t!” you exclaim in a hushed whisper. “I wouldn’t do that!” 
“I know!” Alias exclaims too, “But it still didn’t look good. I’m assuming that’s why Jungkook just left.”
“You think he’s upset by it?”
“Well what else could it be?”
Sighing, you slow down. 
Alias looks at you confused. “What’s wrong?”
“What am I doing?” you ask rhetorically, thinking out loud.
Raising his brows, Alias points down the corridor. “Finding your boyfriend to explain what’s happening?” he says almost sarcastically. 
“But that’s just it, he’s not actually my boyfriend so why did he walk off? And why do I feel bad about it?” You feel like you sound a bit helpless but at this moment you don’t actually care, at least not with Alias. 
It’s confusing — first you find yourself having all these weird moments with Jungkook, then Lawrence tells you he likes you only for you to realise that maybe you actually do like Jungkook, and now Jungkook walking off like this…
Could he actually be upset by this?
Alias’s expression softens and he places his hands on your shoulders, squeezing gently. “I think you know why.”
You frown, lips pouting. “What are you trying to say?”
He chuckles, pulling you in for a hug. “I’m not saying anything. You’re figuring this out on your own.” He pulls back and takes your arm in his as he walks slowly down the corridor again. “Now, what are you going to say to Jungkook?”
His question is met with silence, but he doesn’t push any further as you take the time to think. 
You’re well aware of what Alias is trying to say to you but there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to acknowledge it — more like you don’t know how to acknowledge it. 
Maybe you do like him? Or maybe you’re just confused? It could definitely just be lust, or even just loneliness as it has been a long time since you’ve last been with anyone. Or maybe all the pretending has gotten to your head? — that’s definitely a plausible reason for the way you’re feeling. 
Although, it really doesn’t feel like it. There’s a reason pretending to date Jungkook comes so easily to you. Being with him is natural to you because you’ve always felt like you belong together; now you realise you’ve been feeling that romantically not just platonically. Having been so close to him for so many years has created a safety blanket around you, one that you can’t imagine living without and most definitely can’t ever replace. Even the thought of coming on this trip without him felt so wrong. There must be a reason why it doesn’t feel surprising to you that at some point, your feelings crossed the line from friends to something more.
“I don’t know,” you groan quietly. “This is so weird, what does someone say in this situation?”
Alias actually takes a moment to consider this. “Actually,” he starts, pulling on your arm to stop walking. “You need to be sure of how you feel before you say anything.”
He’s right.
“Take some time,” Alias says. “Maybe just address what happened with Lawrence for now?”
You nod. “Okay, I’ll just tell him what happened.”
“Yeah, do that,” Alias nods too. He looks down the corridor but makes no move to walk any further with you. 
Your cabin is only a few doors away so you hug him goodbye, and after he wishes you good luck, you make your way towards it.
Clearing your mind, you focus on the simple goal for now. Just let Jungkook know that there’s nothing between Lawrence and you — what he saw isn’t what it looked like. 
Tapping into your room, you feel your heart race a little faster as your nerves rise. Jungkook isn’t anywhere in the cabin but you can hear water running in the bathroom. 
Taking a deep breath, you mentally scold yourself to get it together. Some of your clothes from earlier in the day are still scattered on the bed so you decide to at least clear these away while you wait. 
It isn’t long until you hear the lock clicking and Jungkook walks out of the bathroom. 
You look up to see him patting his face dry with a towel. He’s already dressed for bed and you note that he’s wearing a top this time. 
When he sees you, his face shows no surprise or even much emotion at all. He simply nods and averts his gaze almost immediately. “Hey,” he says, tossing the towel into the laundry basket. 
“Hey,” you respond quietly while keeping your eyes on him. 
He walks over to the bed and starts picking up some of his own mess. If the situation were any different, you wouldn’t really think anything was wrong by the way Jungkook is acting. But you know Jungkook. 
For starters, he never folds his clothes neatly before putting them away. He usually just roughly puts them together and hides them away somewhere, yet here he is, laying out a shirt and folding the sleeves with much focus.
“Um, Jungkook…?”
He looks up immediately. “Yeah?” There’s no irritation or anger or anything else in his expression. Just the usual concern you’re used to seeing on his face whenever you call him. 
“Are you okay?” you ask, feeling stupid as soon as you ask it. 
“Yeah, of course,” he answers, shrugging as he resumes folding his clothes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” 
“Good.”
Turning away to put your clothes in the drawer, you frown to yourself. You know he knows why you’re asking — him walking off like that wasn’t normal and now him acting like nothing’s happened…
“So,” he says, clearing his throat. “You and Lawrence…”
There it is. You turn to face him again. He’s still looking down as he folds his clothes but you don’t need to see his face to know he’s not looking forward to the answer. 
“You like each other?” His voice is steady but you can hear the quiet reservations that come with it. 
“No,” you answer immediately. 
He pauses for a second and you expect him to say something, but he doesn’t. He only nods and carries on putting his clothes away. 
You tell him everything. “We bumped into each other during the game because I was kind of confused about where to go after me and you split up. We just started talking and it came up that I used to have a crush on him way back in high school, and as we spoke…” you watch Jungkook carefully, still unable to see his face as he stays looking down, “… he just ended up telling me how he used to have a crush on me when we were growing up and it apparently never really went away.” 
It’s now that Jungkook finally looks up. He has a small smile on his face — not a smirk, not anything to show you it’s anything other than a genuine smile despite it not being his usual smile that meets his eyes.
“So Lawrence likes you then.” He says it more surely, as though he’s just reaffirming a fact rather than asking a question. 
You hesitate. “Well, yes, he does but he knows I don’t like him.”
As his smile fades a little, Jungkook raises a brow. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” you say, feeling something heavy begin to weigh down your chest. 
Jungkook considers this. His gaze is steady as he looks at you from across the room, looking for any clue that might suggest otherwise to him. 
The longer he stares, the more you feel the weight on your chest. You don’t like this — you don’t like that Jungkook could even think for a minute that you like anyone else. Since high school, you haven’t had any real feelings for anyone and as Lawrence made you realise, it’s all because of Jungkook.
“Jungkook?” your voice comes out coarse and quiet. 
He looks away, jaw shifting as he now chooses to roughly fold his clothes together. Then — 
“I think we should stop the whole dating thing, it was my fault so I’ll tell whoever I need to tomorrow.” He says it clearly and decisively. “I don’t wanna hold you back, you should give Lawrence a chance.”
With a scoff, your brows knit together and you frown at him. “I just told you, I don’t like him.” 
“He was your high school crush for years, you’ve always wanted this.”
He says it so nonchalantly now and it makes you angry because you know just moments ago he was upset because of this. Sure, he didn’t say anything, but Jungkook is your best friend and you know him more than anyone else. 
“Well not anymore!” you blurt. “Why don’t you believe me?”
Jungkook looks at you and immediately you can recognise the small signs of him feeling hurt but he does well to disguise it as best as he can. “I saw how you looked at him that night, Y/N. It was pretty clear how smitten you were, anyone could see it.”
Immediately, you’re confused. “What are you talking about?” 
“Cartagena,” he responds, almost despondent. “You came out of the venue together and it was clear from your face that you were over the moon to have him there.”
Now you remember… and devastatingly enough, you realise Jungkook isn’t wrong. You remember how you felt when you initially bumped into him — it was a childish kind of excitement when seeing your crush but that’s all it was. Seeing him just brought back memories and that small part of you came out because it had been so long but since then you know there’s been nothing. 
Jungkook, however, wouldn’t know that. You realise that you must’ve looked how he’s describing and gosh, you can’t even imagine how you’d feel if the roles were reversed. 
Before you can ever try to find the words to explain how you feel, a knock sounds at the door. 
Jungkook is the one who answers it since you’re still too caught up in your thoughts. 
You even remember how you’d stupidly been flirting with him right in front of Jungkook, you pretty much called him ‘tall, handsome and mysterious’ when you were supposed to be “dating” Jungkook– 
“Lawrence.”
You turn immediately at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Sure enough, Lawrence is standing there in the doorway looking exactly as he was when you left him. 
“Uh, hey,” he says, nodding awkwardly as he glances between Jungkook and you. 
You just stare at him blankly. This really doesn’t help you right now. 
“Hey,” Jungkook says with a smile, resorting to his usual politeness. “What’s up?”
Lawrence hesitates, still glancing between you both. “Sorry, I was thinking about whether or not I should come but I figured the sooner the better… uh…” he looks down, clearly feeling bad. “I just had to apologise, I told Y/N about how I felt and that was inappropriate and stupid of me when she’s with y—“
“We’re not together.”
Lawrence looks up and at the same time, your eyes snap to Jungkook. 
If you thought him saying that was harsh, the blank way in which he says it hurts even more. 
“We never were,” Jungkook says. “Y/N just agreed to help me out by pretending to be my girlfriend because my ex is on this trip.” 
Lawrence’s face changes from confusion to surprise to realisation within a few seconds. But you’re not looking at him. 
Your focus is solely on Jungkook. You can’t clearly describe what emotions you’re feeling. There’s a bit of everything — it hurts, that’s for sure, but you’re also angry at him for so rashly telling Lawrence and you can’t help but feel betrayed. 
Pretending to date Jungkook has been nothing but easy for you and these past few days have taught you it’s because there’s probably a huge part of you that wants this. For Jungkook to just end it so suddenly makes you feel like he doesn’t want you the same way you want him. 
You wonder if it’s naive to think he wants you back, but you do. Alex has told you countless times, heck all the Cirillo siblings have made a remark or something about Jungkook and you at least once every time you’ve met. Even Lawrence has seen it apparently. Though, none of this necessarily means it’s true. 
With the silence in the room, Jungkook looks at you. He holds little emotion in his face but the way his lips are pursed tightly tells you he’s holding back something. 
“Uh,” Lawrence glances between you both, “I’m gonna go. Sorry again for everything,” he adds in a mutter. He closes the door as he leaves and you’re left alone with Jungkook. 
“Why would you do that?” you ask as soon as the door clicks. 
“Because he likes you. I’m not gonna stand in the way of that.”
Your expression falters. Fuck, it’s been a long time since you last wanted to cry but you’ll be damned if you let him see you. Steeling yourself, your jaw clenches.
Despite your best efforts, of course, Jungkook still notices. His own steely expression softens and he almost says something but then stops. For a second, you think he might apologise and even tell you something you want to hear. But he doesn’t. 
“What am I supposed to do?” Jungkook asks softly.
There’s a hundred other things he could do but he chose this — even after you’ve told him how you feel about Lawrence. 
“Fine,” you flare. “Tell everyone.” Without another glance at him, you walk past him to the bathroom and slam the door shut. 
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It’s only after a quick shower and some much needed TLC, that you come out of the bathroom. 
Truthfully, you didn’t expect Jungkook to still be in the cabin, but it doesn’t make the feeling in your chest go away when you see he’s not there. 
There’s so many questions going round and round in your head that it hurts. You trudge across the room, slipping into the bed and finding solace with the comfort of your silk sheets that still smell of Jungkook. 
Everything Alex said to you at the start of this trip keeps replaying in your mind — you want it to be true, and sure most of the time it feels true too. But with the way this past hour has gone, you can’t help but doubt it. 
If Jungkook really liked you, he wouldn’t have told Lawrence the truth, would he? It doesn’t make sense, why would he? He should’ve wanted to have kept it up the same way you do. Pretending to date Jungkook is as close as you’re getting to the real thing and that’s something that you’re sure that you want. 
Now though, you don’t even have that. 
It’s not exactly something you can blame Jungkook for. There was no reason for him to keep it up, especially if you haven’t told him why you want to. 
Maybe you should tell him now though?
No. That’s too scary. Sure, you want him to know, but the idea of him not feeling the same way is way worse than anything else. Plus, what if he starts to feel uncomfortable around you, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if he felt that way. 
Releasing a heavy sigh, you sink further into the bed and close your eyes. 
You shouldn’t say or do anything else until things go back to normal. That’s the best thing to do. 
With your mind made up, you try to fall asleep but it proves to be more difficult than normal. With every minute that passes, you wonder where Jungkook is and what he’s doing. It’s only been 15 minutes but you’re already deciding whether or not you should message him. 
It’s always been like this with Jungkook — your arguments never usually last longer than a day and most times you settle them straight away. 
This feels different. 
The sound of the door clicking open simultaneously relaxes you and raises your heart rate. 
As Jungkook makes his way across the room, your heart decides to do all kinds of acrobatics. Inwardly, you curse at yourself for not realising your feelings sooner. 
You can hear the sound of his shirt being pulled off as he changes into his pyjamas. A moment later, he’s carefully moving the covers back on his side of the bed as he gets in slowly so as not to wake you. 
Moments pass in silence and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep, but then…
“Y/N?” His voice is barely above a whisper and just like that, your heart jumps again. 
Instead of responding, you turn around to lie on your back. As you lower your hands to your side, you accidentally brush his hand. Reflexively, you move your hand to rest on your stomach instead. 
Noticing this, Jungkook turns to look at you. You’re sure he can’t see you very well in the dark but with the white of the ship’s exterior safety lights coming in from the gaps in the shutters, it’s still easy to see fairly well. 
For a brief moment, he doesn’t say anything and you don’t turn to look at him. Then, he looks back up at the ceiling too. 
“I’m sorry,” he says, sounding deflated.
It hurts you to know he’s feeling bad about something that isn’t even his fault. If it wasn’t for the way you’re feeling, you wouldn’t care about him telling Lawrence and you wouldn’t have argued with him for him to be apologising now.
“It’s okay,” you respond quietly, finding it too hard to find the words to say anything else.
“No, it’s not,” Jungkook sighs. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking you, especially since I made you do it in the first place. This whole thing was stupid, I shouldn’t have let it happen.”
“You didn’t make me do anything,” you mumble as his last words play over in your head – this whole thing was stupid. “It was Alex.” Does he really think it was stupid? It never felt stupid to you, it just felt right. 
“Yeah, but it’s because of me it happened and I could've stopped it.”
“I didn’t mind…” 
You feel lame saying it because the real reason you didn’t mind is because it was the closest you’d get to dating Jungkook, but you say it because you don’t want him to feel bad about any of it.
“I know,” he says softly in understanding. “I think it’s just best to tell everyone it wasn’t real.”
You haven’t experienced anything like this before – there’s a heavy feeling in your chest trying to fight its way out. It’s causing the lump in your throat and you can’t tell if you want to cry or just tell him the truth right here, right now. 
But you don’t. “Okay,” is all you say.
He must hear something in your voice – he’s attuned to every frequency of yours and the emotion that comes with it, just as you are with him. You know how sad you sounded just then and undoubtedly he’s picked up on it.
He looks at you, trying to analyse your features in the dark. Then, his hand moves and you feel his palm closing around yours, pulling your hand between your bodies to rest on the bed with your fingers intertwined. “Again, I’m sorry.”
You’re looking at him too now. Have his hands always felt this warm? Have they always fit into your own so perfectly? 
“I know, it’s okay,” you answer, still fighting that feeling in your chest.
His brows knit together. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
Gently, he squeezes your hand and his features relax.
That feeling in your throat pushes harder and you realise you want to tell him. Maybe it’s because it’s dark right now it seems easier to let the truth out, almost as though it’ll stay a secret in the dark. 
“Also,” he says, voice suddenly softer, “for what it’s worth, I think Lawrence is an amazing guy.”
All other thoughts come to a halt in your mind and you swallow hard. “Why are you saying that?” 
Jungkook looks back up at the ceiling and when he talks, it’s a little quieter than before. “Just, I know how you used to feel about him and if he feels this way about you now, well, it could be good for you,” he adds with a shrug. 
You’re unable to mask the frustration in your voice.  “I already told you,” you say, “I’m not  interested in him.”
Jungkook looks at you again with his brows furrowed in concern. “I know…” he hesitates with a sigh, “I just…” 
“Forget it,” you mutter, pulling your hand free from his. “I’m going to sleep.” 
Jungkook says nothing as you roll over with your back to him, and you say nothing else either. 
The feeling in your chest has subsided but it’s been replaced with another feeling, more like an ache which you’re determined to sleep away. 
It feels almost impossible as your thoughts stream endlessly through your mind, each and every one about Jungkook and the words that you’ve left unsaid. But somehow, at some point, the thoughts slip away as the weariness of the day takes over and you finally fall asleep. 
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It’s hot. 
Jungkook pushes you hard against the wall, his thigh parting your legs as he grabs your waist tight. His breaths are heavy as his nose skims your neck, teasing you before he settles in the sweet spot behind your ear. 
You’re just about managing to hold yourself up though if it weren’t for his grip on you, you’re sure your knees would give way. 
There’s barely any material separating you from his thigh and you’re desperate for some friction down there. With your arms around his neck, you rock yourself against him to find some much needed relief. 
You’re moaning and Jungkook chuckles, a sweet deep sound that makes you want more, and he gives it to you as his hand slips between your legs.
Gosh it’s hot.
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It is hot. 
That’s the first thing that your barely conscious mind picks up on. 
It’s the middle of summer–you don’t know why you can feel the weight of the blanket on you. You dimly remember getting under it when you got into bed but normally you always stick a leg out or something before going to sleep. 
You try to move your leg now to push it past the covers and out into the cool air, but it doesn’t budge. 
Something is in the way. 
Still half asleep, you try again as you think it’s just the covers tucked under your leg — only now you realise that’s not the cover, it’s another leg and it’s not yours…
You didn’t realise something was missing when you were falling asleep a few hours ago. Why would you? You were completely preoccupied with other things to have remembered it. 
It’s now that you come to your senses and realise what’s happened — you forgot the pillow. 
You forgot the pillow as a physical boundary between Jungkook and you, and now the exact thing you wanted to avoid is happening. 
Jungkook’s warmth surrounds you from everywhere. His breath is gentle and quiet by your neck, his chest close to your back and his legs are somehow tangled with yours. His arm is draped over your frame, hand resting comfortably by your stomach. 
What’s most obvious to you though, is your ass tucked comfortably against him, no doubt right against his crotch. 
Fuck. This is simultaneously a dream and a nightmare. It feels so good to be this close but you know it’s so wrong, especially after the actual dream you just had which given your situation now, explains why you’re still feeling so needy down south. 
You try to shift slightly again but it doesn’t work — Jungkook sighs softly in his sleep, leg moving to rest on top of yours. 
Great. Now you’re actually stuck like this. 
Eyes closing, you try to think of what to do but as you run it through your mind, you come to the conclusion to stay exactly as you are. 
How bad can it be? With the sun shining through the cracks in the blind, you can tell it’s probably 10 am so all you have to do is pretend to fall asleep again, Jungkook will wake up very soon, he’ll realise and then he’ll just move away. Then it’ll be as though nothing ever happened. 
Besides, it really does feel so good to have him holding you like this. Sure, Jungkook hugs you a lot and in general is pretty affectionate with you but this. Having him softly breathing down your neck as he sleeps comfortably with you in his arms — it’s a feeling that satisfies something you never knew you needed. 
The only problem is it’s more than a little difficult to fall asleep when you can feel the hard outline of his little friend down there. Fuck, life is really testing you right now and it really doesn’t help that your pyjama bottoms are silk so you can feel a lot more of him than expected. 
Groaning internally, you try to scoot away once more but it doesn’t work. Not only that, you actually didn’t just groan internally but out loud. You almost clap your hand over your mouth when you feel Jungkook shift behind you once before going still again. 
Except this time, you can’t feel his warm breath on you for a second… then it comes back, but this time it’s different. You’ve spent enough of your lifetime with Jungkook to know that he breathes heavily when he sleeps and right now, he’s no longer asleep. 
You’re not quite sure what comes over you, maybe it’s the heat getting to your head, or maybe you’re emboldened by the fact that Jungkook is awake and he hasn’t moved away from you… ever so slightly, you push your hips back against Jungkook’s crotch. 
A sharp intake of breath from behind you confirms exactly what you wanted to know. 
You do it again and this time, Jungkook reciprocates in kind. You can feel him even better now and the hard outline of his dick pushing against you makes you let out the softest whine, barely audible but with Jungkook so close to you, there’s no doubt he heard you. 
Fuck. You feel almost dizzy and you’re certain that you’re not thinking clearly right now – this is Jungkook, your best friend… you try to remind yourself of that as you wait for him to do something more, but the only thing that repeats in your head is this is Jungkook. Jungkook, the man you love and adore so much and right now you can only think enough to know that whatever is happening right now, you want it. 
With bated breath, you wait for what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few seconds, then Jungkook’s hand slides from across your stomach to hold your hip.
“Y/N?” 
His sleepy voice so close sends a swirl of excitement through you. 
“Yes?” you answer in a breathy murmur.
“I…,” he whispers, barely audible. His hand slides up your side, stopping below your breast. 
You can tell he’s hesitating to move further so without hesitation, you roll your hips against him which elicits small moans of pleasure from both of you and in response, Jungkook’s hand begins to move again and you’re anticipating the feeling of his strong hands grabbing on to you where you want them so bad–
Knock knock knock knock knock. “Sleepy heads, what time do you call this?!”
– Only to be interrupted by the one and only Alias. 
Immediately, Jungkook withdraws and moves faster than you can even process. He’s out of bed and throwing on the closest hoodie just as you turn around, still catching on from whatever the hell just happened. Despite the dark lighting in the room, you can tell he’s flustered from the look on his face but goddamn he looks so cute with his messed hair and you could not be more annoyed about being interrupted right now. 
He pauses, turning towards you and just as your eyes meet, there’s the loud knocking again followed by Alias yelling whatever it is he’s saying. 
You’re more focused on how Jungkook is looking at you to comprehend anything else. In this split second, he looks like he has a thousand things to say but not a single thing comes out of his mouth except…
“I’m sorry.” He says it so fast that in the seconds it takes you to realise what he just said, he’s already at the door letting Alias in. 
“You’re not even dressed,” Alias says the second the door opens and he sees Jungkook. “And you’re not even up,” he says as he sees you. Shaking his head, he walks over to the blinds, completely unaware of the tension that is still heavy in the room between Jungkook and you. 
You glance at Jungkook again to see him looking at the floor but it’s as though he can sense your eyes on him because he looks up and your eyes meet for the second time. You’re sure your expression must mirror his – flustered, somewhat guilty, but mostly just confused. 
You know why you’re confused – in the last few days you’ve come to the realisation that your feelings for your best friend are more than just platonic and this happening makes you wonder what the hell Jungkook is thinking… is he feeling the same way as you? God, you can only hope… Or is he repulsed by what he’s just done and is completely regretting it now?
“Honestly, Y/N, I’m actually surprised that I’m up before you,” Alias continues as he rolls up the blinds. “You’re usually the responsible one. And Jungkook, you know we were supposed to meet at nine, it’s almost 11 now and we’ll be arriving tomorrow morning and we were supposed to meet with Alex this morning to go through the plans for the weekend, did you forget—?“ Alias pauses mid sentence, turning to look at you with a frown. 
For a second, you think he’s caught on to everything, but thankfully, it’s not that. 
“Why do I sound like my parents?” He shudders, looking at Jungkook too. “I must be getting old.”
Both Jungkook and you laugh, albeit awkwardly. This, however, doesn’t go unnoticed by Alias. His frown changes to something more curious as he looks between you. 
You expect him to say something about it but he doesn’t. 
“Well, Jungkook, he’s still waiting to speak with you, he’s already briefed the other guys.”
“Right,” Jungkook nods, now avoiding your gaze as he grabs his clothes. “I’ll just get ready, I won’t be long.”
“Cool,” Alias says, taking a seat in the armchair by the window. “I’ll wait for you then.”
As soon as Jungkook has disappeared into the bathroom, Alias turns to you. “Did you tell him?” he asks immediately.
Still slightly befuddled, you frown. “Huh?”
“Last night, you said you weren’t gonna say anything about how you feel but why are you both acting so different?”
“Oh.” All of last night comes back to you in an instant. Lawrence confessing, your conversation with Alias and everything else that happened with Jungkook after. “No, I didn’t,” you pause, brows knitting even further together before you look at Alias. “But I think he might know anyway.”
Alias’s brows shoot upwards. “What makes you think that?”
Because he was just feeling me up in bed and if you hadn’t walked in it seemed like it would have gone further. Well, you absolutely can’t say that. 
“I don’t know.” 
Frowning, Alias moves to sit at the end of the bed. “Are you okay?” He reaches forward and puts a hand on your knee.
“Yeah,” you nood, smiling as you take his hand to reassure him. You’re sure you must look like a bit of a mess, not only have you just gotten up but your mind and pulse is racing from what just happened with Jungkook – whatever it was. “Could you just give us a minute though?” 
“Sure,” Alias answers, getting up right away. “Just text me if you need anything,” he says. “I’ll be waiting on the deck for you guys.” He stops by the door, turning around. “But Alex is still waiting for Jungkook too.”
“We won’t be long,” you reassure him with a smile.
He nods once more before leaving the room. 
You’re left with only the noise of your thoughts and the shower running in the bathroom. You can feel your pulse racing as you push the covers back and get out of bed. It still feels so hot in here so you find the AC controller and blast the cool air to help calm yourself down as you try to process what just happened.
What did just happen? Were you and Jungkook really about to do something? Just thinking of it sends butterflies swirling down south but they’re quickly sent off track when you ask yourself what on earth it means?
You know why you were okay with it all happening… if you didn’t have feelings for him, you would never have let it happen, but you do, so you didn’t stop it. Is it the same for Jungkook? The idea of Jungkook liking you is far from foreign – Alex has always been trying to tell you but you just never believed it… this, however, has you in two minds. 
Or, there’s also the other more plausible reason. Jungkook woke up and realised his hard dick was enjoying the fact that there was another warm female body in such close vicinity to him so naturally, he made his move and you didn’t object so he went along with it. You’ve had your own small share of experiences with friends who you ended up doing more with without any feelings involved and so has Jungkook, maybe he just thought that’s what this was…  God, even just the thought of that hurts. 
The bathroom door clicks open and your head snaps up.
Jungkook walks out still scruffing his hair dry with a towel. He’s dressed casually for the day but he still looks as good as ever to you. He pauses after a few steps when he sees Alias has gone and slowly, he lowers the towel and looks at you. 
You feel small because you’re so unsure of where you stand with him right now. Pressing your palms with your fingers, you try to relax and think clearly but it’s hard when your heart is pounding in your chest and wants nothing more than for him to confess he has the same feelings as you do.
Still, as you look at Jungkook, it seems like he feels small too. His fingers are squeezing the towel as he switches it between his hands and he hesitates, starting to say something before he stops. 
You so badly want to say something, anything, but you have no idea what. How do you start? Can we talk about what just happened? Did you like it? Do you like me? Because I like you, a lot. Gosh, if only it was that damn easy. 
“Um,” Jungkook starts but looks away from you. “I’m sorry about what happened…” He loosely points to the bed.
Startled, you just stand there for a moment. He’s sorry?… “You’re sorry?” you repeat.
“Yeah, I, uh, I don’t know what I was thinking.” 
“So, you weren’t thinking about what you were doing…?” you echo, starting to feel like a stupid parrot. He regrets it, of course he does.
Jungkook blinks, somewhat confused but you don’t blame him. You’re asking for clarification for selfish reasons – you need to know if he thinks what just happened was a mistake because it was far from a mistake for you. 
“No…” Jungkook hesitates, his face rounding as he looks at you. You’re sure he can tell you’re upset by what he’s saying. “Were you?” he asks.
“No.” It’s not a lie – you really weren’t thinking about what was happening, just that you enjoyed it. 
As soon as you say it, you’re sure you see Jungkook deflate. Did he want me to say yes? No, that doesn’t make sense, he said no first. 
“Right, yeah.” He clears his throat as he fiddles with the towel again. “I’m sorry it happened, I wouldn’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable.” He says it with such sincerity that your chest tightens.
“I didn’t feel uncomfortable.” The words come out before you can even stop them but you want him to know that, you’d hate for him to feel bad about something like this when it’s far from his fault that you let it happen just because you like him and wanted it to be something more.
Jungkook’s expression is the same as before, eyes rounding and there’s that barely-there pout to his lips as he asks, “You didn’t?” 
“No, I didn’t.” Shit, what are you saying, Y/N? You can hear the blood rushing through your ears and you start to feel sick. “But… it wasn’t supposed to happen?” You mean for it to come out as a question but you have no clue if it did.
“I, no,” Jungkook clears his throat again and he nods. “It was just a mistake then, it won’t happen again.” Now he looks away from you completely as he goes and puts the towel into the laundry basket.
Suddenly, you feel yourself on the verge of breaking. How can he be so composed right now when you feel like you simultaneously want to shout at him to tell him how much he means to you, and cry endlessly because–does he really not feel anything for you?
“Alias is waiting for you upstairs,” you say, walking past him to go into the bathroom. “I’ll meet you later.”
You leave no time for him to respond but just before you close the door, you catch a glimpse of his confused doe eyes and just like that, your heart sinks again.
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“Could it really be?” your dad pretends to rub his eyes, blinking a few times as his face morphs into a grin. “Our daughter is here to grace us with her presence, I don’t believe it.”
Your mom laughs, gently patting your hand as you sit down between them. 
“Ha-ha, very funny dad,” you deadpan, throwing him a grumpy look.
“I’m only kidding, honey. I’m just glad you’ve decided to join us for lunch.”
“Of course,” you shrug. “I’ll even make your plates, what do you want?”
Your dad throws your mom a look. “Our princess is spoiling us today.”
Rolling your eyes playfully, you head over to the buffet table to prepare two plates for your parents with everything you know they like. Just as you turn back to return to your table, you catch Jungkook watching you from across the balcony.
He’s on a table with Alex, Sophia and a few others. Meeting your gaze, he gives a small smile before looking away. Gosh you never knew a smile could hurt so much. 
Ignoring the pang in your chest, you return to your parents and slump into the seat.
“Where’s yours?” your dad asks, already reaching for a sandwich. 
“I’m not that hungry,” you mumble, taking a strawberry and biting into it. 
Not so slyly, your parents exchange glances. They choose to say nothing for the moment, making small talk as they enjoy their lunch. 
Once your dad is on his second cup of coffee, your mum takes your hand and squeezes gently. Looking up, you take comfort in the smile you see on her face. You know that both your parents are aware that there’s something on your mind – it’s why you’ve chosen to sit silently in their company while they have their own light hearted conversation. You also know that their advice is usually unparalleled to anyone else’s and right now, you could really do with some of their wise words.
“Is there anything you want to eat, honey?” your mom asks.
“The fruit is fine,” you answer quietly.
In response, your dad piles all the fruit into the plate in front of you while your mother gently continues probing.
“You’ve lost your appetite then… that usually happens for a reason, hm?”
You don’t say anything and she continues. 
“Would it have anything to do with Jungkook?”
The rounded eyes you give your mom must give it away immediately as she lets out a small sigh.
“How could you tell?” you ask. 
“He came down ten minutes before you,” your dad answers, “he normally always waits for you. Not to mention the funny look you gave each other just a little while ago.”
Sighing, you slump further into your seat. “We got into an argument last night,” you admit, feeling like a five year old again. 
It seems so stupid to say out loud, especially because you don’t think you can bring yourself to reveal the real reason the argument feels as bad as it does – the reason being your feelings for him – but you don’t really care about feeling like a kid when it’s your parents. They’re the only people you can be this vulnerable with and at times like this, you want their comfort and company the most. You would love to tell them the whole story but there’s no way you’re telling them what just happened this morning so you go with everything else.
“It wouldn’t be the first,” your mom says, still holding your hand as she takes it into her lap.
“No, but this felt different…”
Your mom hums, gently playing with the bracelet on your wrist. Neither she nor your dad say anything, waiting for you to continue on your own.
Closing your eyes, you let out part of the truth. “Lawrence told me he likes me.”
Your mom’s fingers pause briefly before she continues twisting the charms between her fingers. Looking up, you catch your parents exchanging glances, most definitely surprised but they’re subtle about it. 
“He told me last night and I made it clear it wouldn’t work… but I think it looked different to Jungkook and he just kept telling me I should give Lawrence a chance even though I told him I don’t want to.”
“That’s what you argued about?” your dad asks. 
“Mhm.” 
“Lawrence telling you that…” your dad pauses momentarily before continuing, “how did it make you feel?” 
“It was weird,” you admit. “I used to have a big crush on him.” 
“Oh, we know,” your mom says with a smile. 
Despite it being in the past, it still feels so embarrassing — you were such a wide eyed 16 year old with a fat school crush that even your parents noticed. 
“But I don’t now,” you mumble, cheeks warming as you keep your head lowered. “I told him that and I guess I felt kinda bad too. It’s been a while since we left school.”
Your father hums in agreement. “That’s a long time to like someone,” he says, head cocking as he looks at you knowingly. 
“I know.” 
Squeezing your hand, your mom takes over. “And what about Jungkook?”
“Well, when I told him, he was insisting I should give it a try.”
“That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to suggest,” your dad shrugs. “I’d say the same thing, after all, you said it yourself that you liked him before and Lawrence is a good guy.”
“Yeah but I don’t now,” you reiterate. “I thought Jungkook would know that.”
“You’ve been single since you left college, Y/N, there’s absolutely no reason for him to think your heart is elsewhere…” he pauses, patting your leg, “unless you tell him.”
“Huh?” You look at your dad but he’s already looked away, a smirk on his face as he takes a sip of his coffee. 
“I, what would I…?” you sputter, looking at your mom and seeing the smile on her face, you fall quiet. 
So much for trying to keep this a secret — if your parents know then you wonder if anyone else knows. Although, of course no one else knows you as much as your parents and here they are telling you to tell Jungkook how you really feel but it’s still so nerve wracking to you. 
There’s so many times you can think of that would make you think he likes you as much as you like him, but then there‘s also that voice of reason in your head that tells you you’re reading into it too much. Jungkook doesn’t like you romantically as much as you wish he would. 
Chin lifting, you get up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, “but thanks for the chat,” you smile, giving a quick kiss on the cheek to both of them. 
“Darling, you’ll regret it if you don’t,” your dad says as you’re walking off. 
“No idea what you mean,” you call out with an airy wave of your hand. 
Walking across the length of the deck, you steal a glance in the direction of Jungkook only to see he’s no longer there. Looking around, you can’t see him anywhere. Resigned, you find an empty table that’s out of sight from everyone you know and slump into the chair to be alone with your thoughts. 
No one knows you better than your parents, not even Jungkook and if they’re telling you to tell him then you can’t argue that there’s a big part of you that agrees and even wants to tell him.  How would it feel to have Jungkook as yours? Sure, you have him more than anyone else right now — you share everything together, the good stuff, the bad stuff, and all the days in between… 
It’s something you’ll forever be grateful for because if you can’t have all of Jungkook then you’ll take the little things whenever you can. Still though, you know it’s not the same when all you are to him is a best friend; his response to what happened this morning completely confirmed that to you. In some ways, it hurts more than anything else knowing that as his best friend, you’ll be there when he eventually does find someone to call his own and fuck, even just the thought of that hurts like a bitch. 
Who knows if you’d even still be friends when that happens? It’s only natural that he and whoever he chooses would become closer than ever and you’ll just be that childhood friend considered to be like a sister…
“You’re moping.”
Turning around, you see Alex standing with his hands on his hips. 
“And you’re interrupting,” you grumble, slumping back into the seat.
“Nope, come on, I’m not having this,” he says, coming right behind you and holding your head to look up at him. “The wedding is in three days and you are not going to spend it like this.”
“I’ll be fine for the wedding, I promise.”
Narrowing his eyes, Alex lets go and sits down next to you. “What about tomorrow?”
Tomorrow night is Thalia’s hen night and Alex’s stag night. The cruise will arrive at Porto Cheli around dawn tomorrow and most guests will be escorted to various villas rented out by the Cirillo’s. Meanwhile, you and a few close others, including Jungkook, will be arriving at the Cirillo family home. A grand estate which given its enormous size, will accommodate the tradition of keeping the bride and groom parties separate until the wedding on Saturday afternoon.
Thalia has never been much of a party-goer so she’s choosing to keep things simple with a fine dining evening although you’re sure Sophia has planned for strippers and booze to appear at some point during the night. 
“I’ll be fine,” you repeat, plastering on a smile.
“I know you can fake it for everyone else but I actually want you to have a good time, Y/N,” he says, putting his arm around you.
Your smile turns into a genuine one. “I will, of course I will, it’s your wedding weekend and I’m so happy for you.”
Alex grins. “Thanks, I know you are.” He lets go and turns his chair to face you. “But I also know that you’re not talking to Jungkook right now, which means both of you will be moping until you make up.”
Of course he knows, you think. Well, he doesn’t know about this morning and you don’t know if you can bring yourself to tell him, it feels rather embarrassing for you. “Alias told you?”
“He told Sophia, she told Thalia and Thalia told me,” Alex shrugs.
It’s not like you expected it to stay a secret between your friends. Whenever Jungkook and you aren’t talking, it’s usually pretty obvious to everyone around you, especially your friends. 
“Wanna talk about it?” Alex offers.
“Not really.” Talking to your parents was enough and you already know what Alex is going to say. “You probably think I should just be completely honest about how I feel, right?”
Alex shrugs again. “Yeah, although he should’ve been upfront about it first.”
Surprised, you look up at him and he continues.
“I know I've been telling you for ages that he’s whipped for you, but this kind of proves it, don’t you think?” Alex glances at you, eyes creasing in the corners as he hides a smug smirk. “There’s only one reason he reacted to Lawrence the way he did.”
It makes sense, but it also doesn’t – Jungkook purely could’ve been pushing you to be with Lawrence as a friend who just wants to see you happy. You’d hate to think it’s for the former reason, only to realise you’ve terribly misinterpreted the situation and end up stupidly admitting your feelings to Jungkook when he cares for you only as a friend. “It doesn’t really,” you say, trying harder to convince yourself than Alex. “I mean, he probably just didn’t want me to waste the opportunity.”
“Ha!” Alex scoffs. “Waste the opportunity.” He gives you a look. “Come on, Y/N, why are you fighting every reason that you have to try?”
“It’s not a reason,” you counter. “We’ve gotten into one argument and I don’t think me saying I have feelings for him will change anything–”
“So you do.”
“What?” 
You look back at Alex and see his eyes wide and he’s not even hiding his smile anymore. 
“You do like him,” he repeats.
“I, what…?” Suddenly, you realise you just said it out loud. Opening your mouth, you’re about to try to cover it up somehow but it’s too late.
“I knew it,” Alex laughs, seeming way too ecstatic considering how shit you feel. “This is gold, Y/N, this is it, I’ve always known Jungkook liked you but you liking him too, it’s perfect!”
“Shh,” you hush him suddenly, grabbing his hands as you look around in a panic. “Alex shut up, someone’s gonna hear you.”
“The whole world should know, Y/N,” he laughs happily again. Looking at you, he cups your face in his hands. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long, you need to tell him, Y/N, please!”
The thought of telling Jungkook is terrifying to you, even more so now that Alex is saying it out loud and someone could possibly hear. 
With your expression split between worry and confusion, Alex’s smile fades a little but not completely. “Y/N, this is good, what’s wrong?”
For the first time, you let yourself say the truth out loud. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
Alex sighs, his smile softening. “There’s only one way you’ll find out.
Now it’s you who scoffs, pulling away from him. “Yeah, right.”
“I am right,” he insists.
Sighing, you look at him. It’s so hard to hear Alex tell you that Jungkook likes you when youc an only think otherwise after this morning… “Something happened,” you start, watching Alex carefully.
For a second he still smiles but when he sees the worry lining your face, his expression mirrors yours as his smile fades. “Okay… you wanna talk about it?”
You quickly glance around to make sure no one can hear. “You promise you won’t tell anyone,” you say, “not even Alias or Sophia or Tha–” you cut yourself off. Asking Alex not to tell his soon to be wife is like asking him to cut off his hand, you already know that since he couldn’t even keep Sophia’s birthday present to her secret. “Fine, only Thalia.”
“Appreciate it,” Alex nods.
“Mhm, well…” You tell him briefly what happened this morning, sparing him the details but telling him every word of what was spoken after and he listens carefully, not interrupting you once. 
You chose to tell Alex because he’s the one who has always been so sure of Jungkook’s feelings for you, not Alias, nor Sophia, or even Thalia. Sure, the others have hinted at it but only Alex has ever paid attention to everything between Jungkook and you so if anyone knows the whole story and can give you the best advice, it’s him. So, it feels a little alarming to you when once you’re done, he still doesn’t say anything for a moment.
Then, he purses his lips, grimacing before he finally speaks. “Honestly, that’s a bit confusing. If there ever was a way to confess, this was the perfect window to do it.”
For what feels like the umpteenth time today, your heart sinks. “That’s what I thought.”
“But,” Alex says very surely, taking your hand, “it doesn’t change every single other thing he’s ever done to show he likes you, and let’s be real, he’s probably just worried that you won’t feel the same.”
It’s what you want to hear but it’s still so hard to accept it because what if it’s not true and you make a fool of yourself in front of Jungkook.
“I wish that were true,” you mumble. “But I don’t think I can keep holding onto hope when it hurts like this.”
Alex squeezes your hand. “Y/N, we know Jungkook, he doesn’t exactly play with anyone’s feelings and I absolutely don’t think he would start something physical with you unless he was feeling it emotionally too.”
“I know, but what if it’s just because he was horny.” You’re still mumbling, cheeks going warm as you say it. 
“Look, I think there’s a lot of guys who would sleep with their best friends if they had the chance,” Alex says, “but Jungkook isn’t one of them, he never has been.”
Thinking about it, you realise he’s right. Jungkook wouldn’t. There’s been way more chances in the past for him to have done things with you and you’re pretty sure there’s even been times where you drunkenly made a few moves on him but he never did anything himself.
“Still, I don’t know.”
“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Alex says encouragingly, “how long have I been telling you he likes you? I haven’t been saying it for no reason.”
“But you have no concrete proof either.”
“Just take a chance, be brave and then you’ll see I was right,” Alex says, raising a brow.
Glancing at him, you chuckle. “This is coming from the guy who had to get drunk to say I love you to the love of his life for the first time.”
Alex smiles and leans back in his seat as he gestures around him. “It worked didn’t it? Look at me now.”
Well, he got you there. Plus, you can’t deny the big part of you that believes it. Jungkook and your friendship does feel more than friends sometimes and you know it’s not all in your head. This morning seemed to confirm that too.
Narrowing your eyes at Alex, you turn away to face the horizon. “Don’t say anything to anyone, but I’ll think about it.”
“Yes,” Alex laughs, hugging you. “I’ll keep my mouth shut,” he says, sounding so excited. “You won’t regret this.”
Laughing, you pull him into your side. “You could start now, half the deck can hear you.”
“Sorry,” he grins, squeezing you. 
Maybe he’s right, maybe you won’t regret it. 
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Jungkook comes to a stop at the end of the balcony to watch the sun set behind the sea. It’s been a long day with Alex asking his groomsmen to assist him in all things wedding related and then Alias needed help sorting out the entertainment for tomorrow.
Jungkook hasn’t seen you since lunch. He went back to the cabin while you had lunch with your parents since he didn’t want to make it awkward for you when you eventually came up to finish packing and since then he hasn’t seen you as you’ve been with the girls all day. 
Truthfully, after this morning, he doesn’t think he can bear to see you just yet. He feels like a coward. Not only has he probably ruined his friendship with you, but he also can’t help but feel like he’s hurt you. You looked so timid as you stood across the cabin from him and a part of him felt like you wanted him to say something other than what he said. If only he was 100% sure it’s what you wanted, Jungkoook would shout it for the whole world to hear, but what if it’s not and he really does ruin everything between you. Besides, you called it a mistake. That’s all Jungkook can remind himself of as it takes everything in him not to tell you he wishes that there was something more between you.
“Why the long face, Kookie?”
The voice comes from behind him but Jungkook doesn’t have to be looking to know who it is. 
Valentina appears beside him and leans on the balcony too. She doesn’t even look at him but just watches the horizon ahead as Jungkook was. “Trouble in paradise, huh?”
Jungkook frowns. Of course that’s the first thing she would think of. “Not really,” he mutters. 
As much as he wishes it was paradise between you and him, it wasn’t, none of it was real
and what he finds worse is that he couldn’t even keep up a fake relationship with you – he completely blew it.
“So what then? They didn’t have your favourite bagel for breakfast this morning?” She laughs lightly. 
However, Jungkook internally scowls. It’s annoying that she actually knows him rather well despite the finer details of their ‘relationship’. “No offence, Val, but I really just wanna be alone right now.” 
There’s harsher things he could’ve said, particularly naming her as the least desirable companion right now, but even without that, Valentina seems to get the message from his tone alone. 
The humour in her expression disappears leaving only a small poignant smile. 
Not expecting such a quick retreat from her, Jungkook immediately regrets his harsh tone but at the same time, he really is not in the mood for Valentina and her usual antics today. 
She doesn’t move an inch though. With a small sigh she turns and faces the horizon just as Jungkook was. 
Jungkook does the same; although he’d rather be left alone, he’s definitely not about to make it known again, especially since he now feels a bit bad.
“It’s always been her, hasn’t it?”
For a moment, Jungkook is completely thrown. Multiple thoughts run through his head – What? Valentina knows? How long has she known? Was it from when he was with her? Was he really always in love with you even while he was seeing other people? That must make him a complete dick, right? Has he always made it so painfully obvious that he’s in love with you?
His hesitation seems to give Valentina the answer she was looking for.
She glances at him and smiles before looking away again. “I’m not surprised really, I knew it from when I first met you, I guess it’s my fault for putting us both through everything we went through, it was damned from the start.”
“That’s not your fault,” Jungkook says, the guilt festering.
Valentina just shrugs. “It’s over now, no reason to care.” She says it meaninglessly but Jungkook can only hope she means it.
“So why the long face then?” she repeats, looking at him. “She’s yours, go be with her.”
“It’s not that simple.” 
Valentina laughs, bumping her shoulder into him. “Yeah, you’re right. Pretending to date someone you’re secretly in love with is never simple.”
For the second time, Jungkook looks at her stunned. “How did you…?”
She shrugs, still sporting an amused smile. “I know you think I’m stupid, Jungkook, just a head in the clouds rich bitch like everyone else does, but I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I?”
“That’s not true,” Jungkook corrects her immediately. Sure, Valentina has her unbearable moments and more often than not, she plays dumb and innocent, but Jungkook knows that she’s more than that. “I wouldn’t have dated you if I thought that.”
“Don’t worry, Kookie, you don’t have to try to make me feel better, I really couldn’t care less about it. Now, back to the main issue here, you need to grow a pair and tell Y/N how you feel about her,” she says bluntly.
She’s not wrong, Jungkook thinks. “It’s just not that simple,” he sighs, turning away from her. It feels odd to be having this conversation with Valentina and despite her honesty just now, he doesn’t really feel like opening up to her.
“What’s complicated about it? You like her and she likes you.”
“We don’t know that.”
“You honestly think she doesn’t like you?” she asks, sounding surprised.
Hesitating, Jungkook eventually shrugs. “Sometimes I think so…” It’s true, sometimes Jungkook really feels so sure that you feel the same way, but then something always happens that changes things. He thinks of Lawrence – you liked him for so long and although Jungkook doesn’t know the extent of it, you always had this schoolgirl crush on him, even whilst you were with Alex. “But I don’t think she does.”
Valentina looks at Jungkook like he’s stupid and he’s vaguely reminded of why they never worked out. “Well, you can keep thinking that but it’s kind of obvious she does.”
Saying nothing, Jungkook looks out at the horizon again, leaning his forearms into the balcony. The sun is almost fully set marking the last day of the cruise. They’ll soon be arriving at Porto Cheli and it’ll be even harder to spend time with you once the bride and groom parties are separated. He wants to talk to you and to make things okay between you again, but he knows that he’s upset you and although it’s confusing him, he wants to give you space. 
Valentina sighs, nudging him. “Just talk to her, you don’t want to regret it later on,” she says, straightening up as her usual flamboyance returns. “You know if it doesn’t work out, I’ll always be here for you Kookie pie,” she almost coos, making Jungkook laugh and cringe at the same time. As ditzy as she may act sometimes, Valentina is more smart than Jungkook ever gave her credit for.
She grins, winking at him before she waltzes off like the conversation never happened.
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The cabin is dark when you finally return to your room. It’s well past midnight and you expect Jungkook to be here but as your eyes quickly adjust, you can see the room is empty. As you walk in further, you see his suitcase standing packed and ready in the corner of the room. 
Deflating, you trudge over to your own open suitcase on one side of the room. You’re only half packed and you’d hoped Jungkook would still have his to do too so you’d have a chance to maybe talk to him, but it seems he’s already done it while you were busy with the girls. You wonder if he avoided you on purpose.
Pushing this thought quickly out of your head, you press shuffle on your ‘summer ‘23’ playlist in an attempt to cheer yourself up while you finish packing. It doesn’t really work but you at least keep your mind free from running rampant, instead singing along to some of your favourite tunes with no regards for your cabin neighbours, one of whom is Valentina and you’re more than certain she’s not in her cabin because you last saw her walking out of the premium lounge with a tall, handsome stranger whose face you couldn’t see and they went into an elevator going to the cabins on the other side of the ship, barely waiting to let the door close before locking lips.
Must be nice, you think sourly before shaking your head. Not cute, Y/N, you scold yourself. Although you don’t blame yourself for having negative thoughts since you are on the short end of an unrequited love story with your best friend, you’d still rather not be bitter.
Almost three hours later, you’ve packed everything, showered and are already dressed ready for the arrival at Porto Cheli soon. You’ve chosen a simple outfit, a sky blue linen co-ord with jewellery to match. Slipping into the comfiest sandals you own, you move your suitcase next to the door and grab your phone before heading out of the room. It’s almost 5am so there’s around an hour left until the ship docks at the port, marking the end of the cruise and the start of the busy wedding weekend. Most of you took a nap during the day, so deciding you wouldn’t sleep tonight, they all agreed to meet one last time on the cruise.
Despite everything that’s happened with Jungkook and the dampener it’s put on your mood, you’re still excited to celebrate Alex’s wedding. Not only is he dear to you, but you’re celebrating his marriage with so many of the people you love the most, making this whole trip special. It would be perfect if you could end it by fixing what’s happened with Jungkook but you feel like you’ve already made yourself so vulnerable to him and nothing came out of it.
It’s quiet and dark in the hallways as you make your way out to the pool on the top deck. It reminds you of the nights you were sneaking out with Jungkook to meet the other guys for whatever stupid stuff you were getting up to. It makes you miss him now and you subconsciously walk a little faster in anticipation of seeing him now as you all gather for the last time.
You can hear your friends before you see them and you smile at the sound of Alias’ laughter as you climb the steps to the deck. You’re certain any patrolling staff would have heard and they’re either being nice enough to let you all off, or Alias tipped them enough to keep quiet. 
There’s a bunch of familiar faces hanging around all together, all friends of either Alex, Thalia, Sophia or Alias. You smile at a few as you make your way over to Sophia, Thalia and a few others. 
The girls greet you warmly as you approach and Sophia hands you a drink as soon as you arrive. You take it and immediately take a sip. You weren’t planning on having anything to drink but one won’t hurt. There’s an excited buzz in the air, the same you felt on the first day of cruise but this feels special. The sun is rising on the horizon and you’re here with almost all of your best friends. Almost all of your best friends. Jungkook still isn’t here but you try not to focus on it and just have a good time with your friends. 
It works, so much so that you’re mid laughter when a familiar face joins the deck and makes their way over to you, but you don’t quite realise until he pats your shoulder as the conversation progresses. 
Turning around, your smile falters but doesn’t disappear. “Oh, hey.”
“Hey.” Lawrence looks nervous, an emotion you’re not used to seeing on him.
You also weren’t actually expecting to see him but you’re glad he’s here. Throughout everything, he’s still a friend and you’d hate to lose that relationship with him.
“How are you?” You ask, smile widening. You haven’t seen him since that night and you’d hate to think he’s been avoiding you when it’s the last thing you’d want.
“Good, thanks,” he nods. He seems to suddenly relax at your warm response. He glances at the group behind you and you turn too. No one is paying either of you any attention but Lawrence still asks for privacy. “Do you think we could talk?” he asks tentatively. “I’ll make it quick, I promise.”
“Of course,” you nod, following him as he turns right away and walks to the furthest side of the deck where it’s quietest. 
You stop when he does, taking a seat on the bench beside him. It’s easy to see he’s nervous as he glances around quickly before looking down at the drink in his hand. You want to say something to make him feel better but you don’t want to interrupt whatever it is he wants to say.
“How have you, uh, how have you been?” He looks up, holding eye contact for barely a second before looking away again.
“Good,” you answer. It’s not the truth but he doesn’t need to know that.
He nods and takes a sip of his drink. You do the same and you’ve just swallowed when he speaks again.
“I‘m sorry for pulling you away from your friends, I just wanted to talk to you tonight before all the wedding stuff starts and I didn’t know if I’d get a chance.”
“That’s okay, I don’t mind.” You lean in a little so he looks at you and smile. “You’re my friend too though,” you say, feeling the need to remind him.
His smile mirrors yours and he nods. “I kinda messed it up though…”
You know this is of course what he wanted to talk to you about and although you don’t think it needs to change anything between you, you know yourself how easily feelings can change a friendship. Not only that, but he deserves an explanation from you too since you did have feelings for him for a good chunk of your teen years and later, plus your conversation ended before it was supposed to that night when Alias and Jungkook appeared.
“Not really,” you shrug. “I think it’s just how we deal with it now, no?” 
“Yeah, if you’re okay with that,” he agrees. “I’d like to.”
“Of course I am. And I’m sorry too by the way.” 
Lawrence looks confused and you don’t wait for him to say anything before continuing.
“I think it must have been confusing for you to be on the receiving end of my feelings for you while we were in college and maybe I even subconsciously made it seem like it after too.”
“Ah,” Lawrence purses his lips. “Well I didn’t really know.”
“I know, you said that before but I still feel like I need to say it. There may have been a few times I was coming off as more than friendly and that was wrong of me.”
Lawrence’s silence serves as an answer.
“So yeah, I’m sorry too. I hope we can go back to how things were,” you say hesitantly.
“It might be hard,” Lawrence responds honestly. 
“I know…” your voice feels small. You know all too well how feelings can change a friendship. “But we’ll try?” You look at him and smile hopefully.
He nods. “Of course.” 
You’re content with that. Of course you don’t know the extent of his feelings for you so you hope it won’t be hard for him to move on – after all, the two of you mostly ever met up at family functions and dinners of the same sort. It’s rare for Lawrence to have joined any of the outings with your friends. It was never his fault since his parents have always pushed for him to do more for their company, especially since he was an only child. It’s something that’s always made you more grateful for your own parents and their completely laid back and caring approach to your career, even all throughout school. The only thing they ever pushed for was your grades but they kept up that same effort in all areas of your life, even your extracurriculars. Sure, sometimes when you were growing up you felt the pressure but you always felt supported by them no matter what the final result was.
Lawrence has experienced the opposite of you to say it simply, and you’re sure that given time, he’ll find the right person for him as he prioritises himself.
“Thanks for talking to me though,” you say, “I’m glad you did.”
“Me too,” Lawrence says, taking another sip. “At least now I don’t have to avoid you all weekend long.”
You laugh, agreeing with him and soon enough, the conversation continues although it doesn’t last longer than ten minutes with Lawrence excusing himself.
You stay seated at the bench as he leaves. You didn’t realise you were concerned about your relationship with Lawrence but the relief and content you’re feeling now tells you as much. You’re glad you’ve cleared everything up with him, now if only you could get yourself to do the same with Jungkook.
Glancing around, you realise that he still hasn’t appeared. He definitely would have known about it so you wonder why he hasn’t turned up. Finishing your drink, you get up and head over to where Alias is sitting with his friends Kelce and Dillon.
“Hey, Y/N,” they all say in unison when you come and sit beside them at the pool. They’re definitely a little tipsy and you don’t need to see the cans beside them to know that. Their goofy smiles say it all.
“Hey guys,” you chuckle, patting Kelce’s shoulder. “Um, have you guys seen Jungkook anywhere?” 
Alias immediately frowns but it’s Dillon who answers. “We were with him a while ago at the lounge.” He looks at the other guys. “When was that? A couple of hours ago?”
Kelce looks at his phone. “Yeah, it was around one.”
You went past the lounge at the same time, that’s when you saw Valentina leaving with that guy… for a split second, your mind goes there – could it have been him? – No. Absolutely no. The idea is absurd. You feel stupid for even thinking that.
“You haven’t seen him since then, Y/N?” Alias asks.
“No.” You ignore the seed of concern that settles in your stomach. You’re certain he’s not with Valentina, but where is he? 
“We were gonna leave the lounge together but he stayed for another drink,” Alias tells you, seeming to share the same concern as you. “He seemed like he wanted to be alone so we left him.”
“Oh.” It’s not like Jungkook to drink alone – if he does, he’s usually upset about something. “Well, thanks for telling me,” you mutter, getting up and leaving the group.
Alias, however, gets up with you. “Hey,” he says, taking your arm. “You want me to find him?” He looks you over and you’re sure the concern in his expression isn’t solely for Jungkook.
“Um…” you hesitate. You don’t want to seem like a clingy best friend, especially not after what happened between you, but if Jungkook is drinking alone then he’s not feeling okay and you would normally be there for him. This time you feel like you can’t be, but Alias can. However, you don’t want to ask Alias to spend his night away from his friends and family.
Looking at him, you smile. “No, it’s okay. I’m sure he’s around somewhere.”
Alias doesn’t seem convinced. “But then he would be here.”
He’s right. “Or maybe he was tired and went back to the cabin?”
“You just said you haven’t seen him since we did.”
Chewing on the inside of your lip, you shake your head. “I haven’t.”
Sighing, Alias pulls out his phone. “I’ll try calling him but if he doesn’t get back to me in ten minutes we’ll go look for him.”
“Okay,” you nod. “Let me know if he replies,” you say, thanking him too before going back to some of the girls. 
You’re not listening much to their conversation although you try to get involved to take your mind off of Jungkook. 
It isn’t until you receive a text from Alias with a screenshot that your nerves are put to rest. 
[3:01] Me: hey man where r u?
[3:13] JK: hey sorry bro, I knocked out on the balcony.
[3:13] Me: oh okay, it’s all good just wanted to know where u were. Join us now? We’re at the top pool deck. 
[3.15] JK: I’m just gonna check all my luggage is packed first. Will join later.
[3:15] Me: cool see u. 
So he’s fine, he just fell asleep. You still want to see him but you know that’s not going to happen unless you go down to the cabin room and you don’t want to seem clingy so you don’t. Instead, you turn your attention back to the conversation the girls are having and feel the excitement for the weekend to come.
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Jungkook doesn’t get drunk often and he had no plans of doing so the last night of the cruise either, and he most definitely did not expect to get drunk with your father of all people…
“You coming Jungkook?”
Looking up from his drink, Jungkook shook his head. “Nah, I’m just gonna hang here for a bit,” he said with a smile so as not to raise suspicions from the already watchful eye of Alias. 
Still, Alias frowned. “You sure?” 
“Yeah, I still got a headache.”
“Alright, well text me if you need anything,” Alias said as he, Kelce and Dillon got up. 
“Get well soon,” Kelce said as they took their leave.
“Join us later, yeah?” Dillon added.  
“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded. “I’ll catch you guys later.”
He watched as they walked out, trying to find the same excitement in him for the wedding as they’re feeling but his head was full of other thoughts. 
Sighing, he looked down at this drink again. It’s true that he had a headache. He even chose not to have anything alcoholic, opting for a mocktail from the extensive drinks menu available at the lounge. He’s not sure where it came from but he thought it’s most likely just because he couldn’t stop his brain from thinking and the lack of sleep didn’t help either. 
Truthfully, he knew he was just moping. He knew what he had to do and he knew it before his conversation with Valentina. Although, the fact that she said it too just made Jungkook more aware of the truth. 
The line between friendship and something more had always been blurry for Jungkook and the past few days only made him more sure of it — he’s in love with you and he always has been for as long as he can remember. 
Every time the thought crossed Jungkook’s mind, it triggered the questions that come with it. How do I tell her? Does she feel the same way? She’ll hate me. What if she hates me? I shouldn’t do that to her? What’s worse, is that now  it had come to the point that being with you was almost painful – not knowing if he could have more with you when all he had to do was confront his feelings, swallow his pride and be honest with you. Even if you didn’t feel the same, it was the point at which he realised he would rather you hate him for admitting his feelings and ruining your friendship, than stay quiet and never know if he can have what he’s always wanted with you.
That said, it still felt so hard to do – he had a lot to lose.
Head lowered, Jungkook tried to figure out the best way to do this when he heard a familiar laugh somewhere behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Valentina walking with a tall, handsome man beside her. Jungkook had seen him around a few times but he wasn’t sure if he was a part of the wedding party. Whoever he was, he sure knew how to make Valentina laugh; she was laughing as he put his arm around her and she raised her hand to hold his fingers loosely when she looked towards the bar. Making eye contact with Jungkook, she stopped and tilted her head.
Jungkook just smiled awkwardly and turned back around. He didn’t want to seem like he was staring even though that was what he was doing but for no bad reason – he liked to see Valentina happy. Despite her shortcomings, deep down she always had good intentions for the most part and making her happy was something Jungkook couldn’t do. However, he would’ve been lying if he said seeing her like that didn’t hurt – not because he was jealous of her, but because everyone around him seemed to be having such good luck in their love lives (whether there’s feelings attached or not) and here he was, unable to find the words to tell his best friend he loves her. It sucked.
“And what are you doing here, may I ask?”
Hearing Valentina’s voice so close to him all of a sudden startled Jungkook. He looked up, eyes wide. She stood with one hand on the bar and the other on her hip. 
“Uh, just getting a drink.”
Valentina rolled her eyes. “I spoke to you less than 12 hours ago, Jungkook, do you not remember anything?”
“I do,” he replied, glancing across at her date who seemed super unbothered as he waited for her a short distance away.
“Then why are you here?”
“I just needed to think some things over.”
“Like what?”
“Just things,” Jungkook said, feeling somewhat intimidated by how serious she was right now.
“You know you’re just wasting time,” she said matter-of-factly.
“She’s with everyone else right now, I don’t want to ruin her evening,” Jungkook says defensively.
“I really don’t think anything you say or do could ruin her evening.”
“We don’t know that.”
“Well, yeah but you’re not doing anything about it so how is that any better?”
She wasn’t wrong but Jungkook was convinced he needed to give you time. “I’m just not ready yet,” he sighed.
Valentina sighed too. “Fine,” she shrugged and turned back towards her date. “But you don’t need to think, Jungkook, you just need to do what needs to be done,” she added with a wave of her hand.
He knew she was right but why did it feel so hard?! 
Getting the attention of the bartender, he ordered a much needed drink, downing it all almost as soon as it came before ordering a second. At least he wasn’t a light weight. He knew this wouldn’t help his headache but it wasn’t like he was helping himself at all by sitting here and thinking endlessly. Endless thoughts of what could go right and wrong trailed through his mind, leaving him conflicted as he accepted that he wouldn’t disturb your night with this.
Halfway through his drink, someone came and took a seat at the stool beside him despite there  being space elsewhere. Looking across, he was more than surprised to see the last person he would’ve expected to see here.
Lawrence only acknowledged Jungkook with a nod before ordering his own drink. 
A multitude of emotions went through Jungkook at this particular moment starting with wanting to punch Lawrence in his perfect face, to feeling sorry for himself for being forced into this situation, then feeling sorry for Lawrence because he knew that he got the short end of the stick – at least Jungkook still has a strong friendship with you —  and oddly, gratefulness because Jungkook knows what he needs to do now and without Lawrence, he wouldn’t have been forced into it and who knows how long he would’ve gone without telling you the truth (though he had yet to do it). 
Saying nothing himself, Jungkook took another sip of his drink.
Lawrence, however, started a conversation. “You not joining the others?”
“Nah,” Jungkook answered quietly. He gave no reason but he didn’t need to. 
Lawrence nodded in understanding but said nothing else. His drink arrived and he stayed seated, sipping quietly beside Jungkook. 
Jungkook really didn’t care for conversation. He came to the bar for some peace and quiet so initiating a conversation is the last thing he wanted to do.
With all that said, Jungkook’s curiosity got the better of him. 
“What about you?” He asked without even turning his head. “You’re not gonna head up there?” 
Lawrence shook his head. “I’ll head up a bit later”
Jungkook nodded, wondering if Lawrence would see you while he was there. He could ask him but that would open the doors to another conversation which he didn’t really want to have.  
Lawrence didn’t owe him any apology since you’re not really his girlfriend. He did seem to cross a line considering he didn’t know that at the time, but there was no reason for him to say it now. 
Just when Jungkook took another sip of his drink, Lawrence put his glass down and looked toward Jungkook, sincerely. 
“Hey, man, I’m really sorry for what I did.”
Although he harboured some slight resentment towards Lawrence for what happened, it immediately seemed to melt away in that moment. Their friendship extended well beyond the past few days and Jungkook has never been the type to hold a grudge, especially not when the other person is genuine. 
“It’s cool,” he responded. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I did.”
Jungkook only had to glance at Lawrence to see he looked guilty and felt bad about it. “I was selfish and I wanted to tell Y/N how I felt. I guess there was a part of me that wished she wasn’t with you and that was completely fucked up.” 
“She’s not with me though.” 
It came out slightly harsher than intended, carrying the weight of Jungkook’s own feelings. Lawrence went quiet and Jungkook continued, resigned.
“Honestly I’d say you’ve got a pretty good shot with her, I’d go for it if I were you.”
“Why don’t you?” Lawnrence asked simply, without any curiosity or even peaked interest. His voice held more of a genuine want to help. 
“What?”
“Why don’t you just go for it?”
Jungkook shook his head. “We’re just friends.”
“I don’t think it’s that simple.”
“No offence Lawrence, but how would you know?”… Now that did come out slightly harsher than intended. “The last time you even saw us was probably at Sophia’s graduation and even then you were gonna way before the night ended.”
Completely understanding, Lawrence backed up. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” Jungkook cooled off. “I’m sorry too.  That came out wrong.”
“It’s alright.” Lawrence sat back in his chair, swirled his drink before taking three long sips to empty the glass. 
“It doesn’t change anything though,” he said, getting up from his stool. “There’s a point at which you can pass friendship and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with treading beyond that line.” He put a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just do it carefully.”
Jungkook stared at Lawrence but Lawrence didn’t linger. 
“Anyway, like I said, I’m sorry for everything.”
Jungkook watched as he walked away, the words swimming in his befuddled mind.
Lawrence was right. There was a line and Jungkook knew he was straddling that fine line and perhaps now it was too late to step back. Instead, he should be brave and put everything out on that line. It was easy enough to think with liquid courage flowing through him, that and the fact that you weren’t here right now. But maybe he should have taken advantage of the fact that he was feeling more confident now, he should find you, he found himself thinking. He should tell you he’s in love with you and then whatever happens next will happen. He can’t control that and right now there’s already a strain on the relationship that can only be fixed by the truth. 
He should do it, he thought. The thought built up more and more, ushering Jungkook as he pushed himself off the bar stool—
“Where you going, son? I just got here.”
A firm band on Jungkook’s shoulder pushed him back down, contrasting the loving tone with which he was spoken to. 
Your dad took the seat which was previously occupied by Lawrence and Jungkook could only stare for a moment as he called the bartender and ordered two drinks. If it was anyone else, Jungkook would’ve apologised and excused himself to carry out his plan of finding you, but with your dad it was simply not the case. 
“You like a gin and tonic right?” He asked, after ordering. 
Jungkook wasn’t particularly fond of it but he nodded. “Yeah, thanks. “
“How come you’re not with the others?”
Jungkook shrugged, hoping that your dad wouldn’t be able to tell he’d already had a couple to drink. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”
“And Y/N?”
Despite being the only thing on his mind for a while, the mention of you still threw him. “Huh?”
“Is she with the others?” Your dad asked coolly, reaching for some peanuts from the bowl in front of them.
“Yeah, I think so,” Jungkook answered as nonchalantly as he could. 
The bartender arrived with their drinks and your dad took his and sipped slowly in silence. 
Jungkoon was not uncomfortable around your dad, not in the slightest. In fact, he seemed to have grown rather close to him over the years and appreciated the almost father-son bond they shared. Having spent much time with your family, there wasn’t much he had yet to experience when it came to your dad, but this was something different. He’d never been sat at a bar, just the two of them making small talk over drinks. 
Jungkook knew your dad well enough to know that that wasn’t the purpose of this. Your dad is just breaking the ice to another conversation… but what? Surely it had to be about you and that was the only reason Jungkook found his palms unusually sweaty.
After what must’ve been at least twenty more minutes of small talk about the weather and football, Jungkook had emptied his second glass. 
Your dad laughed. “I forgot you can take your liquor, huh?” 
Before Jungkook could even respond, another drink had been ordered for him and Jungkook willed himself to drink this one slower, wary that he was already more than a few drinks in now though he was grateful that your dad was good at keeping up 
“So, what’s the real reason you’re not with the others?” Your dad asked, his own drink replaced with another as well. 
Jungkook shrugged and answered honestly. “Just not in the mood to socialise. I think I’d be a bit of a Debby downer so I’d rather sit this one out.”
“That’s selfless of you.”
“Not really, kind of selfish actually.”
Your dad nodded. “A bit of both then.”
Much to Jungkook’s surprise, your dad emptied his glass faster than Jungkook had and didn’t hesitate to order another. 
“Anything else for you?” he asked Jungkook. 
“Uh, sure.” Jungkook wasn’t sure why he said yes but he did, ordering a whiskey instead.
Your dad pulled his phone out and sighed, muttering an apology about a work issue and Jungkook nodded, not minding in the slightest. But the issue must have been resolved quickly because he put the phone away only moments later. 
“It almost feels wrong to be drinking with you,” your dad said. 
“Why?” Jungkook asked, taking the smallest sip from his glass. “Because I’m younger than you?”
“Partly. I’ve known you since you were so young, it’s hard to believe how much you’ve grown up.” Your dad smiled. “Y/N too.”
Jungkook smiled. “It has been a long time.” He thought back to the first day he first met your dad and you. He was a shy kid, hiding behind his mom and at the time, you were pretty shy at the time too. It was your mom who encouraged you to ask Jungkook if he wanted to read a book with you. He looked at his own mom for reassurance before shyly agreeing and following you to the reading corner in your playroom.  By the end of the night your affinity for him had grown and that was the simple start to your long friendship with more ups and downs than Jungkook could count.
“But at the same time it feels like nothing.”
Your dad raised his glass. “Exactly,” he said, with an agreeing nod of his head. “A lifetime and nothing, both at once. I sometimes wish I could go back.”
“To when we were young?”
“Further back if I could,” he smiled. “Maybe a few years before Y/N was born. Just before I got married.”
“Why then? Jungkook asked, curious. He’d known your dad for so many years and they’d had plenty of conversations about serious stuff and more light hearted stuff, but this was different. He’d not spoken much about his relationship witn your mother, especially not when partially intoxicated. And while Jungkook had seen plenty of the love they shared, he’d not heard much about it except from you.
“When I first met Y/N’s mother—gosh,” he sighed contentedly as though reliving the moment. “She was like no one else I’d ever met. She still is,” he added with a gentle chuckle. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my days with. I’d give everything I have to be with her. Every minute of every hour, always.”
The smile on your dads face grew, as did Jungkook’s. 
“We were young when we got married, you know?”
Jungkook nodded. “I know. 24 right?”
He nodded, the corners of his lips turning up further into a proud smile. “I didn’t want to waste another day without the promise of having her by my side. My friends said I was mad, too young.”
Jungkook shakes his head, knowing how it felt to not want to be apart from someone he loved so dearly. “I don’t think you were mad at all. You were in love.” 
Your dad turned, now masking the smile that was on his face as he looked at Jungkook with a mischievous glint in his eye that Jungkook hadn’t seen before. “You know it when you feel it. There’s no mistaking it.”
Jungkook knew that now. He felt it more than ever with you now. But more pressingly, Jungkook realised – your dad knew. 
If it weren’t for the drinks he’d had, Jungkook might have felt embarrassed.
In quiet admittance, Jungkook sighed. “I know.”
Your dad smiled. “You shouldn’t let this time get away from you, Jungkook. You’re young with a life to live. Do it with love and without regrets. 
Jungkook nodded, feeling a tumultuous swirl of emotions inside. “I will,” he said, feeling more certain now than he had before, but he knew his head wasn’t in the right place to do this. First he ought to sober up… 
There was a gentle pat on his back from your dad. “Good.” He flagged the bartender down for what felt like too many times to Jungkook. “But first another drink with me.”
“Sure.” Jungkook felt his words slur slightly. Then the cogs in his brain which were turning a little slower raised a question in his mind. his eyes narrowed and he turned to your dad. “Wait, is this a test?”
Your dad laughed. “I’ve always liked you Jungkook.”
“Me too.” Jungkook smiled though he still looked wary. 
“Good.” Your dad returned the smile with even more fondness. “And no, it’s not a test. Let’s drink.”
So Jungkook stayed.
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note. how are you finding it? :) let me know xoxoxo link for part 3 here
more song recs: lose control — meduza & becky hill & goodboys tenerife sea — ed sheeran i'm a mess — ed sheeran so good (stripped) — halsey crazy what love can do — david guetta & becky hill & ella henderson
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anonymousewrites · 1 day
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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Twenty-Three
Kusuo Saiki x Reader
Chapter Twenty-Three: Rich Transfer Trouble
Summary: Metori Saiko arrives at PK Academy and immediately messes up the entire ecosystem of students.
            “We’re getting a new transfer student,” said (Y/N), sitting down next to Saiki. “But I’m guessing you already know that.”
            Saiki nodded. He’d heard it in everyone’s thoughts and conversations all morning.
            “What do you know about him?” asked (Y/N).
            Despite everything that had gone through their mind (and all the pacing and journaling and screaming into a pillow) after the strange exchange with Saiki the previous night, (Y/N) was determined to act natural. After all, they had no idea what he was going to say or what they were going to say or even what had been happening. It had just been a movie night. That was all. (Y/N) needed to ignore how quickly their heart beat sitting next to him.
            “He’s the son of the Saiko Group,” said Saiki.
            He, too, was trying to act normal. This was achievable since he was non-expressive, but he, too, was confused about last night. Saiki wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to say when he was looking at (Y/N) and holding their hand. But something important had been in the air. If they had been left to continue…Saiki wasn’t sure what was going to happen. However, Saiki refused to let that hold him back from being around (Y/N). Even if the pressure in his chest—like words unspoken—still rested there, Saiki would act normal. That meant being their friend. And Saiki wouldn’t give that up for anything.
            “Is that why everyone’s excited? He’s rich?” said (Y/N).
            “Yes,” said Saiki.
            “I wonder why he’s coming here,” said (Y/N).
            “Everyone, sit down,” said their teacher, walking in. “I will introduce the transfer student. This is Metori Saiko.
            Behind her, a man walked up and rolled out a red carpet. A boy with silver hair, green eyes, and a gold earring walked in. In one hand, he held a wad of cash.
            “I am Metori Saiko,” he announced. He stood at the front of the class. “Let me warn you. I have no intention of mingling with you peons. Do not speak to me.”
            Instantly, everyone’s excitement to meet him went out the window.
            “Take a seat there,” said the teacher, gesturing to an open seat.
            “No,” said Saiko. “You, peon with the weird lips—” he pointed at Takahashi. “—sit somewhere else.”
            Poor Takahashi, thought (Y/N). They frowned. And what a demanding guy.
            “ ‘Peon with weird lips?’ ” Takahashi glared. “Do you think you’re better than me because you’re rich?!”
            “I don’t think I’m better. I’m actually better,” said Saiko matter-of-factly.
            “Yikes,” said (Y/N), making a face. “He has terrible people-skills.”
            Saiki nodded in agreement, and that was saying something since he actively tried to avoid people.
            “Quit mocking me!” said Takahashi, rushing up.
            Saiko tucked a wad of cash into Takahashi’s pocket.
            “Teacher, I’ll switch seats!” said Takahashi happily.
            “He got bought off,” said (Y/N), shaking their head in disappointment. “I have a feeling he’s going to be trouble.”
            “As long as he leaves me alone, I don’t care,” said Saiki.
            “That’s a lie,” said (Y/N). “And besides, if he causes trouble for the class, he’ll cause problems for you.”
            “Out of the way, peon with a middle part,” said Saiko, kicking Kuboyasu’s backpack out of the way of his walk.
            Kuboyasu glared at Saiko. “Why did you transfer to our school?!”
            “I usually wouldn’t step foot in a filthy school like this one without any good reason,” said Saiko. He turned to face another student. “You are the reason, Kokomi Teruhashi.” He took her hands. “I saw you on the street before and did some research. I like you. Be my girl.”
            “What?!” cried Teruhashi.
            “What?!” a general cry went up through the class.
            “Please don’t grab someone you stalked,” said (Y/N), smiling and pulling Teruhashi away from Saiko.
            The rich boy narrowed his eyes as (Y/N) separated them and Teruhashi looked at them in relief. Teruhashi was (Y/N)’s friend, and they refused to leave her to fend for herself against a random guy.
            “Thank you,” said Teruhashi.
            “Of course, Kokomi.” (Y/N) squeezed her shoulder. “If you need any help with, just let me know.” They smiled brightly. “I have a mean right hook.”
            Kaidou shivered as he remembered seeing in, and Saiki nodded.
            “I didn’t know you were a delinquent, (L/N),” said Kuboyasu. I thought they were the ultimate goody-goody.
            “They’re not,” assured Saiki.
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            “There’re already rumors,” huffed Kuboyasu as he sat down for lunch with Kaidou, Saiki, and (Y/N).
            “They think Teruhashi’s really going to say yes,” said (Y/N). “The girls do. The boys are scared of her answer.” They frowned. “I hope she’s okay.”
            “I can’t stand guys like him,” said Kuboyasu. “Pushing people around and thinking they can get whatever they want just because they have some power.”
            (Y/N) nodded firmly. They hated injustice.
            “Calm down, Aren,” said Kaidou worriedly. “He lives in a different world from us. He even has a butler and bodyguards with a full buffet. Just leave him alone.”
            “He may live in a different world, but he’s here now. I’ll beat him up,” said Kuboyasu.
            “But he has bodyguards,” said Kaidou.
            “I’ll beat up the bodyguards, too,” said Kuboyasu.
            “But what if his parents appear?”
            “I’ll have to beat them up, too.”
            “That’s too much beating people up.”
            “What are you peons talking about?” Saiko appeared next to them.
            “Saiko,” exclaimed Kuboyasu, Kaidou, and (Y/N).
            “I have no interest in your poor stories,” said Saiko. He looked at (Y/N). “You. Have you seen Kokomi?”
            “Nope, and I’m not facilitating your stalking,” said (Y/N) brightly. “I’m sure if you stop being a creep and work on yourself, though, she’d be your friend.”
            “Why are you calling her ‘Kokomi?’ ” snapped Kuboyasu. “Let me tell you something, Teruhashi has a huge fan base. They will kill you.”
            “Excuse me, Mr. Saiko,” said the leader of the “Kokomins” (a terrible name for a weird club). “We could not find Teruhashi. She may be hiding in the girl’s room.”
            “Is everyone going along with this?” exclaimed (Y/N).
            “What’s wrong with you!? Did everyone sell their souls?” said Kuboyasu, grabbing one boy’s collar.
            “Yes,” said Saiko. “I easily bought them off. I can control anyone in this world using my money. Soon enough, Kokomi will fall for me and be mine.”
            “How dare you!” Kuboyasu stood up and curled his hand into a fist. The former delinquent had had enough.
            (Y/N) stood up from the table before the argument escalated and slipped away. Saiki watched them go, nearly frowning. They were obviously going to check on Teruhashi, their friend. Saiki sighed. He hoped this craziness didn’t spiral out of control (which it already was by most people’s standards).
            “Kokomi?” said (Y/N), walking into the restroom.
            “Oh, (Y/N),” said Teruhashi, sighing as she put away her phone. “Is he still looking for me?”
            “Yes,” said (Y/N). “And I think he knows that you’re in here.”
            Teruhashi groaned. “I just want time to think.”
            “Are you considering his offer?” asked (Y/N), blinking in surprise. They hadn’t expected that.
            “Well, I mean, he’s rich, and I want to be with someone successful,” said Teruhashi. “But I’m not really…interested in him.”
            Right, you like Kusuo like I do, thought (Y/N). However, they weren’t going to hold that against Teruhashi. Saiki was a likable boy. “Then say no. You shouldn’t feel any pressure to be with anyone you don’t want to be with.”
            “…Is it really so simple?” said Teruhashi. “I don’t want to upset people. After all, I’m Kokomi Teruhashi.” I’m the prefect pretty girl.
            (Y/N) shrugged. “You are, but you’re a person. You should treat yourself with the same respect you give others.”
            Teruhashi stared at (Y/N). “I can just say no? Even if it makes him upset?”
            “Uh, yeah, you don’t need to be nice to him after he’s been this annoying,” said (Y/N). They chuckled. “He kinda forfeit civility if you don’t want to give it, but you can act as you want. If you want to give him a chance to back out respectfully, then you can. Or you can be blunt. It’s up to you, Kokomi.” They smiled.
            The pure encouragement and honesty from Teruhashi made her straighten. She was always the perfect pretty girl, she knew that, but to hear that she could also take care of herself as such was a nice reminder. (Y/N)’s a good friend. “Then I think I’ll—”
            “There you are.” Saiko stepped into the bathroom.
            “Okay, okay, woah, this is the girl’s restroom, you shouldn’t be in here,” said (Y/N), waving their hands.
            “I’ll just make it the boy’s restroom,” said Saiko. He snapped his fingers, and construction workers came in. “Get to work.”
            “Yes, sir,” said the workers, beginning to put up symbols for the men’s room and changing the toilets.
            This feels like a bit much, thought (Y/N).
            “So, what were you going to say, Kokomi?” said Saiko. “You’ve always wanted this to happen, right? I will save you from your life of poverty. There is no proper man or woman at this school. Come to me. Become the wife of Metori Saiko—”
            We’re already at marriage?! thought (Y/N), eyes widening.
            “—the heir to the Saiko Group,” finished Saiko.
            Teruhashi shook her head. “I refuse.”
            “What?” Saiko was legitimately confused. “Why?”
            Up until recently, I would’ve taken the offer without hesitation. But now I cannot forgive anyone who mocks my friends, thought Teruhashi. And (Y/N) is right. I don’t like him in that way. And I should.
            “Because I’m not in love with you,” said Teruhashi. “I’m already in love with someone else.” She couldn’t speak the name, not in front of Saiko and (Y/N), but she could say that much. She knew it was true.
            (Y/N) was proud of Teruhashi for speaking plainly, even if it was admitting that she loved Saiki like (Y/N) did.
            “What? With who?” demanded Saiko. “Surely no one in this school is worthy of you.”
            “I, uh, it’s, uh,” Teruhashi panicked.
            “It doesn’t matter who it is,” said (Y/N). “It’s not you, so she doesn’t want to be with you.” They stepped up next to Teruhashi, giving her their full support and encouragement.
            Teruhashi nodded, keeping her strong façade up. “That’s right. I can’t date you. I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel the same.”
            “I see.” Saiko spoke coldly. “So you’re choosing your peon friends over me?” He pointed accusatorily at (Y/N), who crossed their arms.
            “Yes. Friendship matters to me,” said Teruhashi, smiling at (Y/N).
            “So your brain is still that of a farm girl,” said Saiko. He turned away. “Whatever. There are plenty of other women.” Still, he wore an angry expression as he walked out.
            Teruhashi breathed a sigh of relief. “At least he took it well enough.”
            (Y/N) nodded, but they weren’t as convinced. They had a feeling a lot of money was about to be thrown around and cause trouble for them and their friends.
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            Sure enough, when the next day arrived at school, the group of students that consisted of Saiki and (Y/N) and the rest of his bothers was left in a cloud of worry and stress.
            “Kuboyasu got arrested?” said Yumehara, frowning in concern.
            “Yeah, he was charged with assaulting Saiko’s bodyguard,” said Kaidou, nodding. He put his hands on his hips. “Even if the bodyguard threw the first punch.”
            “That’s awful,” said Teruhashi.
            “Saiko is putting the pressure on us, too,” said Kaidou. “My father was suddenly transferred. I may need to move to Siberia.”
            “We might end up in the same class again,” said Saiki sarcastically since his own father had received a similar notice.
            Mera sighed. “Yesterday, the electricity and water in my house were suddenly shut off.”
            “In the Shonen Jump I bought yesterday, there was snot on three pages,” said Nendou.
            “That has nothing to do with this,” said Saiki. He glanced at (Y/N), who had been unnaturally quiet. “(Y/N), what about you?”
            “My parents might be transferred,” they said quietly. “But they’re going to Madagascar and Siberia. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if that happens.”
            Their eyes remained trained on the floor, and Saiki’s heart constricted at the sad expression he didn’t ever want to see on their face.
            “I heard that the peon with the middle part was arrested.” A red carpet rolled out, and Saiko stepped into the classroom. He smirked smugly.
            “Saiko!” exclaimed Kaidou.
            “I heard Sullen Peon and Little Peon and Interfering Peon—”
            Saiki assumed the last one was (Y/N).
            “—have parents moving to Siberia,” said Saiko.
            “Saiki, (L/N), you’re going to Siberia High, too?!” said Kaidou.
            “My parents are arguing over which country I should go to,” said (Y/N), shrugging tiredly.
            “…” Saiki shifted at the unnaturally sad expression on their face. It didn’t belong on the face of someone who deserved to smile.
            “You, peon with the funny chin, did you enjoy your comic yesterday?” said Saiko, smirking at Nendou. “Super poor girl, did you enjoy the laxative bread left in front of your house?” He grinned at the group. “You are no match for me.” He looked directly at Teruhashi. “If you continue to rebel, the people around you will continue to suffer. You’d better think twice.” He turned and left the room, satisfied at the intimidating presence he’d established.
            “Don’t worry, Teruhashi,” said Kaidou, his bravery coming out naturally in the right moment. For all his cowardice, he cared about his friends and wouldn’t let them be pushed around. “We can take it.”
            “Right! We can live with a little snot and or moving to Siberia,” said Nendou.
            “I agree,” said Kaidou.
            “We’re with you, Kokomi,” said Yumehara.
            “Right!” said Mera.
            “Don’t let him push you around,” said (Y/N), putting on a smile.
            “Thank you, guys,” said Teruhashi, smiling. “If there’s anything I can do to help you all, tell me. You’re going through so much trouble for me.”
            The others clamored to assure her it was alright, but (Y/N) just nodded, and Saiki looked at them.
            “(Y/N), are you alright?” said Saiki.
            “I’m fine.” (Y/N) looked at the floor. “I just don’t want to leave you all and be lonely in a new country.” They looked up at Saiki. “I like it here. I’d miss you.”
            Tears collected in their eyes, but (Y/N) hastily wiped them away.
            The sight of the tears snapped something in Saiki. He narrowed his eyes. Saiko had crossed the line.
            It’s time to show him who he is no match for.
            Saiki refused to let someone make (Y/N) cry.
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            Saiko lounged on a throne of cash, smirking. Everything was unfolding as he planned it. “Kokomi has been backed into a corner.”
            “Master, you have guests,” said his butler, opening the door to his room.
            “Are the peons here to apologize?” said Saiko.
            “Not exactly,” said the butler. He gestured to the window, and Saiko looked out.
            Below, a crowd of Kokomins stood with wooden swords at the ready. For all the money they’d been given, seeing Teruhashi upset had broken the spell over them. They were ready to punish Saiko for hurting Teruhashi, so they were there to break down the gates.
            “What is this?” cried Saiko. He turned to his bodyguards. “Drive them away!”
            “Yes, sir,” said his men, running out to take on the students of PK Academy.
            “How dare they,” said Saiko, reaching for his room’s phone. “I’ll care for backup.”
            A hand closed the communication. It was a boy in a blue cloak, similar to that of the Kokomins but not declaring his love of Teruhashi, and wearing a helmet like that of Cyborg Cider-man No. 2. Pink hair peaked out beneath it.
            “What?! Who are you?!” cried Saiko in fear as the stranger appeared in his room and approached.
            “You caused me a lot of trouble,” said Saiki, approaching and swinging his arm around. “And you made someone I care about cry. I will make you pay for it.”
            “Wait! Calm down!” said Saiko. He gestured to the throne of cash. “I will give you that money. You can even give each one of the people below one million yen!”
            “Money?” Saiki picked up a stack.
            “Yes!” said Saiko, nodding.
            Saiko replied by opening the windows and letting a gust of wind (psychically created) blow the bills out the window. They rained down over the boys below as they fought the guards.
            “Whoops. My hand slipped,” said Saiki, monotone.
            “What are you doing?!” cried Saiko.
            “If you can control them with money as you insisted, this will stop them,” said Saiki.
            “What?” Saiko peered down.
            “Don’t get distracted!” cried the Kokomins, still battling. The enticement of money was nothing compared to their anger at seeing Teruhashi hurt.
            “W-What is going on?” said Saiko, taking a step back in shock as money failed him for the first time in his life.
            The Kokomin’s anger was nothing to Saiki’s fury at seeing (Y/N)’s tears. “There are some things money cannot buy.” Saiki let cash knock Saiko to the ground. He turned and faced Saiko with a smirk. “Not even a mountain of coffee jelly could have bought me off.” Nothing would stop me from making (Y/N) smile again. He walked away, leaving Saiko buried under his cash.
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            The next day, the students of PK Academy were much happier. Teruhashi was smiling once more, and all of her friends were staying in Japan and not getting unnecessary trouble. Peace had been restored.
            Saiki sighed and sat back in his chair. Yare yare. As usual, he’d had to get involved. At least everything was cleared up now.
            “Kusuo.” (Y/N) leaned in, and he turned to them. They smiled. “Thank you for fixing things.” Everyone at school thought the Kokomins had saved the day, but (Y/N) knew who had really interceded to help them.
            Saiki smiled ever-so-slightly. “You’re welcome.” All the trouble was worth it for that smile to come out again. Saiki would do anything for (Y/N)’s smile.
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petew21-blog · 1 day
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Teen wolf - Alpha needs his pack Part 2.
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Hey, y'all already know who we are right? We're like two of the most popular guys at school. Or maybe the coolest. Or... ok forget I said that. We are just bestfriends, by day we do normal shirt together by some nights Scott is doing his wolf stuff and I try to help out as much as I can.
But recently sometihng has changed. Scott started to act more dominant. We spoke less and less. He is so focused on the pack and the dangers that might come, but that's not how Scott usually is. Also, what happened to Theo? He is always ten steps behind Scott like some sort of a servant and he even keeps looking at me. But not with his self-centered I AM BETTER THAN YOU look, but now he looks like he wants to tell me sometihng, like he is being punished. I'll try to talk to him, since Scott is distancing himself from me now. HE EVEN GOT A TATTOO. Without me! We were talking getting one and he didn't wait for me. Ok, maybe my dad would be against it, but I would resist. Maybe, for a while. Ok, I wouldn't dare, but you know. He could have said something.
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I think I was getting really desperate. My best friend is not talking to me, everyone else would think the way that I do. I knew If I were in his pack he couldn't ignore me. But if my dad found out I was bitten someday, he would flip. Or maybe I would too. The first transformation must be horrible. Which is why I contacted one witch. She is not evil, but doesn't work for free. And I still didn't have an idea how to get Scott to talk to me, but she would know what to do. Wouldn't she?
We met up in the forest. She brough a box with her with all sorts of potions and equipment. She was a middle aged, very beautiful woman, nice hair, leather jacket.
"Hey. You're not the witch from Snow White I was expecting."
"Money" she said annoyed after my joke
I handed her the money. And started nervously: "Haha, sorry about that. I just get nervous handling illegal stuff in the dark with strangers. Not like I would do that, like ever. Not like drugs or anything. I don't do drugs..."
"You talk too much." She handed me a small vial of liquid. As I observed the vial, she touched my hand. "Do you even know, there's some magic in you? Are you so blind to everything around you, you don't even see whats in you?"
"I am a wizard?"
"No. You have some magic, but you're weak." she started packing her things and getting ready to leave.
"Wait, you didn't tell me what to do."
"Drink it to get close to who you want." she said mysteriously.
What does that even mean? I drank the whole vial and she just smiled at me. I hope that's a good sign. A smile from a witch. Sure
Suddenly a noise echoed through the forrest. That sounded like a howl. The witch was already running away from me.
In a minute Derek appeared behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
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I was really surprised to see him, but also not. The wolves always protect the Beacon Hills so if there was a creature tresspassing, they would know. I tried to sound confident. "Well I could be asking you the same thing"
"Do you even know that the Dread doctors are in Beacon Hills?! Has no one told you they pose a threat, Stiles?!? They want to get to Scott and you are parading in a forrest doing god knows what."
"I was just... on a midnight walk. It's very healthy actually. You should try sometimes. But I guess you run a lot around the town during the night. Right. Anyway..."
"Stiles, shut the fuck up and let's go."
He touched my arm and then my whole world flipped. It must have happened really fast, but for us it felt like ages. I even think I saw Derek's aura? soul? I don't know. But those things switched places in our bodies. They positioned themself and after that I opened my eyes again.
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I saw myself. Myself from Derek's eyes. As I looked down I saw Derek's muscles. Oh man, he's gonna kill me now.
"Stiles?!?" the expression of my face changed from my usual friendly approach to the one I might have had maybe the last time playing a video game. I didn't even know my face could do this.
"Yesss?" whoa. Did that vibrating manly voice just come out of me? That's so hot. I have to calm down before Derek notices I am not that mad about the situation as he is.
"What exactly have you been doing here? And I need you to tell me everything." haha. My body looks so funny when he's trying to look angry.
I told him how I felt about Scott, how the witch took the money and gave me the vial and how I drank it.
He laughed of frustration. "You fuckin' idiot. Don't you get it?"
"Get what?"
"The Dread Doctors were planning to swap you and Scott. You were suppose to go meet him after this, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well of course. Our little stiles feels intimidated by Scott new ball drop and wants to be close, just to endanger the whole town in doing so. What would you do if you swapped with him? Would you manage being the Alpha? HUH? No, right. Didn't think so."
"Sorry, this wasn't the plan."
"Oh I know it wasn't. And it sure wasn't my plan to spend the evening fucking myself."
"WHAT?! WHAT do you mean?! Why should I.... YOU...WHAT?"
"Every magical thing has a twist. And maybe from every cheesy freaky friday movie you watch, you might understand, that the people that swap have to get close somehow, make up. They always have to 'learn a lesson', 'try to walk in each others shoes', but they all take the long way. The fastest way to swap is to know how the other one FEELS."
"Derek, I... I don't know if I want this."
"Well I sure as don't want this kid, but we don't have a choice now, do we? Now, get on your knees. I got places to be."
He came close to me and started unzipping my jeans.
"Hey that's my dick!"
"No, it's mine now. And if you don't want it to be like this forever, which I really don't, then SUCK IT!"
I have to say, that seeing my own body being so dominant was in some ways really hot. I lowered myself.
"I have never seen it from this angle. It looks really nice."
"Stiles. SUCK IT!"
I didn't want to bee yelled at anymore, but Derek's body seemed to react to it slightly. I liked the shaft first, grabbing the lower part of my dick and positioned my mouth over it. My beard over my lips slightly scratching the head of my dick seemed to cause sensation to him. I pushed the dick more and more. Damn, almost no gag reflex. Convenient. My dick is real nice I gotta say. Striaght, slightly hairy, nice balls. It's not one of the biggest out there, but it's not bad in the mouth.
I accelerated. He started moaning. I used my right hand to jerk the lower half and blow the top. I think I'm getting good at this. Maybe cause Derek now put his hand in my hair to hold onto something.
"So you like it huh?"
"DON'T STOP!"
I got back to it, accelerating even more until streams of cum released into my mouth. I swallowed.
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"So? When do you think we're gonna swap?" I asked him
He hyperventilated from the orgasm. "I... I thought this would work actually."
"Well maybe we gotta fuck for real. Let's go to my place. My dad's on duty now.
We entered my room. I could see the post nut clarity in his eyes. Post nut clarity and desperation. Nothing I haven't seen before on my own face.
"Ok, Derek. The lube is in the drawers. There is a completely new one. I haven't had a chance to use it. Guess I still won't be the first one using it. Hahah."
"What do you mean?"
"You just came. My body isn't used to cum two times a in an hour, So if you can't do the math, I'll do it for you."
"We'll wait until your body's dick gets hard." he said indifferently
A wave of anger swept over me
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"Listen here, Derek. You suggested this and I followed. Now it's your turn to obey and do what I tell you. You don't want to be stuck like this and these are your methods. So we're gonna fuck. And I will be on top. Understand?"
He just nodded. I could see the fear in his eyes. But also excitement. And what I really didn't expect a tent formed in his jeans. That little fucker likes to be dominated. He's just hiding it behind this facade.
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I was horny, hell yeah I was. And I also wanted to enjoy being this buff for just a few minutes. I did some pull ups. It went so easily. His body is so amazing. Maybe I should hit the gym after we go back.
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Derek just sat shirtless on the bed, watching me lift myself up and down.
I got near him. The sweat drops rolling over my muscles. I took his hand and positioned it on my belt. He unbuckled it. SHIIIT this dick is huge. No wonder when Derek is such a masculine man.
"SUCK IT!" I said just as he said before. Only now, my voice was more manlier than his. He obeyed me, he wanted me to feel good and ge was doing such a great job. I thrusted my hips into his mouth as he was sucking. He choked many time. My body's gag reflex made it worse for him. Take that, that's for before
I took off my pants and he took off his. He turned around and got in position for me to enter him. I took the lube, put some on my hand, then his ass. Then on my new dick. Fuck, it's my first time jerking his dick. And it feels so good. I don't think I want to swap. But if I get my hands on the vial, I could swap with anyone. It would be cool to know what it's like to be Theo. He has a beautiful body.
My mind got back from daydreaming to fucking again. My hard pulsating dick in my hand ready over my hairy ass. I pushed, slowly, gently. I waited for him to get used to it. He moaned like a little bitch. While I waited for him to enjoy the pain I grabbed his dick. He was just as hard as I was. I took my other hand and grabbed him under his neck and took him close to me. My other hand still on his dick, jerking him, my own dick thrusting into him. He moaned. I kissed his neck and bit him a bit. I could feel my wolf teeth come out. But no, not the time
I accelerated. Thrusting more into him and jerking him twice as before. He wasn't moaninf, he was screaming out of pleasure now. And then it hit. Both of us. Be came at the same time. I came into him and ha came all over my bed. We panted, my dick still inside of him slowly getting flacid.
I pulled out. Laying myself down and he did so next to me on the bed.
"Well, that didn't work."
We just looked at each other, both wondering what we were gonna do.
But hey, atleast I get to be part of the pack with Scott now.
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A story from inbox that skipped a few others: Maybe a second part of the new alpha where stiles hires some witch to make him and derek swap bodies in order to improve the pack. Maybe even derek had a kink with being smaller and loves the new reality.
Sorry for taking so long, but don't worry. Your story is coming
Part 1:
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garkgatiss · 2 days
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{{esquivalience}}, The Auteur, and Doctor Who the TV Show
alright so this novella.
First, its provenance: I was googling the Twist at the End song last week because it's catchy as hell. I ended up on the Tardis wiki and realized that there was a song by the exact same name that appeared in a licensed DWU novella that was published April 9th. As in, last month. Which is weird. It's hard to say how weird, but given the timing, it either has to be a) pure coincidence (lol), b) someone who worked on the show abusing their advance knowledge of plot details for personal gain, or c) intentional coordination between showrunner and novella-writer, a la Joe Lidster writing John Watson’s blog for BBC Sherlock.
The likelihood of (a) is decreasing by the week. I feel like I have to entertain the idea of (b) happening, but it's hard to square why a DWU-writing supernerd who is also involved somehow with the production of the show would risk a lifetime of blackballing from DW for a bit of cheap promotion for their extended-universe tie-in novella. I am so sorry to be saying this, but I think (c) might actually have legs.
The novella's title is {{esquivalience}}, which is a fake word invented in real life by editors of the New Oxford American Dictionary. The invented word means "deliberate shirking of one's official duties", and it was added to the dictionary to protect the copyright of the electronic version. In S9, Face the Raven showed us a “trap street", i.e. a fake street drawn on a map by a mapmaker to identify any copyright infringement of said map -- a dictionary entry for a word made up by the dictionary editors operates similarly as a copy-trap. The definition is apt for a copy-trap as well, because anyone illicitly copying a dictionary is themselves shirking a job they ought to be doing themselves... it's clever, it's very fun, we're off to a great start.
{{a crash course in esquivalience below the cut}}
THE STORY:
The unnamed protagonist applies for a custodial job at this library that serves basically as a databank for the history of everything in the universe. If a book about something is thrown away, that something ceases to have ever existed. Exhibit A: Protagonist works in the Dead & Dying Language Department. They throw away The Book of Belgian Dutch, and a) a couple coworkers with Belgian Dutch heritage either disappear or get completely different names/family trees, and also b) everyone quickly forgets that Belgian Dutch was ever a thing to begin with.
The librarians cover for this accidental deletion of reality by copying/fudging a new book on "Belgian Gerench", their name for what they replace Belgian Dutch with. They try to catch most of the people who were deleted, bring them back, and fit them into that new language/culture/ethnicity bucket they just made up.
(The narration explains that because both Belgian and Dutch still exist separately as concepts, there aren't too many knock-on effects in terms of loanwords in other languages that needed to be modified/recovered. It also explains that time-traveling back to make an exact copy of The Book of Belgian Dutch wouldn't work because of the universe's copyright laws or something.)
Protag then comes after the head of their department, the Head Dictionary Contributor, or Head DC. They find him in a hidden room called the Internal Reference Room. Instead of languages, the books here hold the life stories of every employee, which auto-update as the person lives their life, but can also be edited or destroyed to alter that person's reality. Protag sits down with the Head DC's lifebook and starts adding and erasing things.
It turns out that Head DC knows how wrong editing these books can go from personal experience. Years ago, wanting to leave his mark on the universe, the Head DC chose to add his own copy-trap into The Book of Dutch -- the fake word "esquivalience". This action seemingly created the concept of cutting corners at your job, leading to the insufficient vetting of Protag for this job and therefore their subsequent hiring, which results in Head DC's eventual death.
Head DC pleads with Protag for his life, but Protag is undeterred. They finally tear out the final page in Head DC's book, which kills him. Protag then writes themselves in as Head DC. Settling into their new role, they turn their attention to The Book of English (8th to 25th Century). They first look up the dictionary entry for “esquivalience”, which says it came to English from Dutch, and then flips to the entries for “ravel" and “unravel”, described as contranyms from Dutch roots, both “meaning variably to tangle or to fray”.
This is the central story of the novella. There is also a Prelude and Postlude that describe the lives of two young men, first in a reality in which they never meet, and then in a reality in which they do meet and fall in love (their meeting is enabled by one of them skivving off work in time to make it to see the movie where they first meet -- esquivalience!)
Just before the Postlude, there is also printed the lyrics to a song (see below), and an excerpt from The Book of English, this volume covering the 4th to 5th billionth centuries of history. This excerpt again gives the definition of “unravel”, but refers the reader to an appendix for the full list of definition, and notes they are “largely in usage as reference to Unravel, The” and “N.B. to be used with extreme care and caution”.
NOVELLA-SHOW CONNECTIONS:
Mavity [Wild Blue Yonder]: Mavity happened all the way back in Wild Blue Yonder, so it's not necessarily surprising to see it in a novella published in April 9, 2024, but there's a whole scene establishing that the M has seemingly replaced the G in all Romance languages, while Domhantarraingt in Irish-Gaelic is unaffected.
Rope [The Church on Ruby Road]: We're all learning the vocabulary of rope now! The Unravel is what the novella calls the meta-historical revisions caused by making edits to the books. There are also rope/weaving metaphors everywhere. Again, the rope themes of the TV show predate the April 9 novella just far enough that in theory it would have been possible for the novella to have taken inspiration from the 2023 Christmas Special. Except. The wiki page for The Unravel credits ownership of the concept to Jamie H. Cowan, the author of the novella. Not just that, but The Unravel was used – with credit to Jamie – in a DWU short story collection published December 26, 2023 – the day after The Church on Ruby Road aired.
Dot and Bubble [Dot and Bubble] : At this point, “Dot and Bubble” is a contextless episode title to me, first announced on March 31. In the novella, we get this:
The Twist At The End [The Devil’s Chord] : Just before the novella's Postlude, there are the lyrics to a song called “The Twist At The End”. Just listed there, no context, like an azlyrics.com entry. They are not the same lyrics as the song in The Devil's Chord, but then, meta-historical revision would kind of be the point, wouldn't it? There's just this sentence to connect it to anything happening in the narration: "Somewhere, in the far distance, as ______ continued to erase, an old 1960s Earth tune began to play."
EDITED TO ADD: @corallapis has pointed out to me that not only did the existence of the song "Twist at the End" by John Smith and the Common Men leak, but the novella's author tweeted about it in December 2023.
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The Chumerian languages of the planet B’llauit, for instance, needed much consideration. Particularly Krulvan. There was still a great deal of work to be done in compiling the post-technoweb aspects of Krulvan. Like how most emotional words and phrases contracted more and more, until finally, they were little more than abbreviations. The old dot-and-bubble effect.
A parent’s love was no longer expressed post-technoweb as “Kal-at lur amoi”, but instead as merely “KLA”. Which needed to be carefully distinguished in the relevant encyclopedia from another abbreviated Krulvan phrase “Kal’ati Lepr’en Acrumpsal” – which was something rather equivalent to the expletives of other languages like “D’Arvit”, or “Bleno”.
It's only a brief mention in the book, so it's possible in theory that it was added after the episode titles were released, or even after the novella’s publication (Amazon allows post-publication changes up to 10% of the text, and it’s not possible to track those changes). I’ve included the second paragraph because it’s interesting that the example they’ve given is the word for a parent’s love, which we can see as a running theme in this season of DW (though Moffat has said before that the only thing he writes about is a parent’s love, so who knows).
Not the strongest evidence of two-way coordination, but we may learn more when the episode airs.
Dutch [Space Babies, Boom]: Yeah, as in, the Dutch language. The words “spoor” & “smelt” both get a "oo, good word!" callout, spoor in Space Babies and smelt in Boom. These words both have Dutch roots. Splice, the daughter's name in Boom, is not only from a Dutch root, but also means the joining two pieces of rope. I read this novella just before Boom dropped on Disney+, so I can personally confirm that this is not a post-hoc addition to the novella. It hardly could have been anyway, this element is much more integral to the novella’s narrative than any of the other pieces.
The Auteur
This is where this all becomes relevant to the “Doctor Who is a TV Show” theory.
While the Protag is shredding the Head DC’s book, the Head DC is in the room, and what follows is an extremely meta narrative-aware pre-death monologue from the Head DC. He's pleading with Protag to stop changing things in his book, but he also refers to an "It" whose power surpasses them both.
He held eye contact with them as they looked up, “You didn’t pick up Belgian Dutch by chance. It’s how it plays. In weaving coincidences.”
“Just stop reading. Stop changing things. Stop, and we can be spared. Be free! If you keep going, then it will get what it wants. It is a happening [sic]. Out there, and in here in the basement. Everywhere. It will win if you keep going.”
“One day, you’ll make the same mistakes. Goddamn, you will. Because it’s all already written. It has already written it all. The paths, the choices. Rewrites, erasures, and even the contradictions. If you don't just... stop... it will... Unravel us all."
The "It" in question is presumably the author. Like an author writing a story, "It" plays by weaving coincidences, "It" gets what it wants when we keep reading, "It" has already written everything.
The Head DC mentions a special disposal chute, which had recently appeared as if by magic, which enabled Protag’s destruction of Belgian Dutch. Head DC’s references to this “It” suggest that his decision to create a word meaning cutting corners caused his eventual death, not by inventing the concept of cutting corners, but by creating a set-up that the Auteur, a godlike being that cares only for the rules of narrative, was compelled to write a satisfying follow-through for. The Auteur changed reality in order to weave a narratively-satisfying coincidence.
The Auteur is a character from the DW-spinoff series Faction Paradox. The creator of the Faction Paradox universe describes it as “on the surface an SF universe, but it works on the same principles as traditional folklore.”
I am but a humble Moffat scholar, so explaining the character of The Auteur is immediately getting into lore that I cannot even begin to decipher.
But it seems plausible that in the show we’re dealing with a godlike being, someone along the lines of Maestro or the Toymaker, but instead of caring only for the rules of play, cares only for the rules of narrative.
And this being, The Auteur, is altering reality and creating the narratively-satisfying coincidences in 14’s and 15’s timelines, possibly starting all the way back with the coincidence of 14 regenerating as David Tennant and immediately bumping into Donna Noble.
And it seems plausible that this season was created in cooperation with these DWU authors to whom concepts like The Auteur and The Unravel are licenced, and the novella is a tie-in text full of references to the current season to lead savvy superfans on a merry chase that foreshadows the season’s big bad.
Because I... don't really have another explanation for the existence of this novella at this point.
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