#dream really loves christmas i guess. he used to play christmas music in celebration every time he found diamonds in minecraft

[dreamthinkr]

#do you think theyre still up? #dream really loves christmas i guess. he used to play christmas music in celebration every time he found diamonds in minecraft #and christmas was important to dteam meetup too #dwt #dreamwastaken #dreamblr #queued june 7th 2023

[bmodiwrites]

And My Heart Ran Away From Me

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Rating: Explicit (E) Notes: There's no real excuse for this one. I've been watching far too many Hallmark movies, I think. Word Count: ~12.5k Warnings: There’s definitely some smut in here, but it’s me writing, so that’s not really a surprise. Other than that, there’s not too much aside from some good old Christmas fun! Summary:

Eddie unexpectedly loses his job. After years away and hopes for many more, Eddie has nowhere to go but back home. There, he runs into an old crush turned elementary school principal. It's love and lust at first sight for Eddie all over again. Read to find out what happens when assumptions are made and two people who are meant to be dance around each other in every silly way imaginable.

Or, Steddie meets a Hallmark movie!

Read the rest on AO3 here!

The decision to drive seemed like a good one when Eddie first pulled away from his downtown Chicago apartment. His head was filled to the point of near explosion – the time alone would do him so much good. At least, that was what Eddie initially thought when he sat behind the wheel to start the twenty hour drive back to Hawkins, Indiana. Eddie didn’t take into account the anxiety and second guessing that would start to bombard him the closer he got to his childhood home. It’d been thirteen years since he stepped foot in Indiana, much less Hawkins. As he inched closer, Eddie’s skin got tight, started to crawl. Dread settled in under the already residual cloud of sadness that was now Eddie’s constant companion. No, it never crossed Eddie’s mind that he’d have to deal with the ghost of feelings long forgotten the closer he got to the place he used to call home. He probably wouldn’t have even attempted the journey if it did.

Leaving after high school was the best decision that Eddie ever made – despite what happened, Eddie still believed that to his very core. He struggled to get by in the small town he grew up in and some freedom was just what Eddie needed. Being different was a death sentence that Eddie felt lucky to escape. Though they all knew it was a long shot, Eddie and his buddies, the boys who made up Corroded Coffin, all set off for stardom the day after graduation without looking back. It took a bit of struggling, but the band finally caught a break about six months later. Eddie, despite everyone looking down at him or doubting his talent and risky choices, was actually making something of himself.

The high of a dream come true lasted for a couple of years – Eddie lived up the moments where he got to play music for a living all day, every day. The band toured and made a couple of records that took off and brought them even more success than Eddie ever imagined. They were headed towards something so good that Eddie had to go and absolutely fuck it up – that was the natural order of things, after all.

They were back in Chicago for a couple of weeks to celebrate the holidays before the second leg of their third sold-out tour. Eddie was high on life and a couple joints that made him feel invincible. He didn’t see the patch of black ice, didn’t feel the car flip, didn’t even remember what happened until many months later when his memory started to resurface.

A concussion, of all things, was the thing that yanked all of Eddie’s music dreams and ambitions right from his hands. The severe bang on his head, which cost him four staples in his skull and several stitches across his cheek, caused irreversible hearing damage. Though he wasn’t deaf and hadn’t lost the ability to hear completely, Eddie’s ability to keep a tune or fluctuate throughout the different pitches was nonexistent. A tone deaf guitar player was no good for anyone, no matter how good Eddie was before.

Healing took up enough of Eddie’s attention that he didn’t notice the lack of music in his life at first. He was too caught up in the idea of getting his hearing back that the reason for all the effort sort of slipped through his fingers. The reality of the situation stayed away long enough for Eddie to come to terms with the new silence in his life. When the consequences of his truth really sunk in, Eddie was somewhat prepared for the fallout. He kept himself together enough to not have a complete mental breakdown, to think fast and find a workable solution, instead. Eddie wanted to stay in the band and luckily, had the perfect way to do it.

Always having an artistic eye, Eddie took to photography almost immediately. He always wanted to freeze time and capture moments as a kid but the lack of monetary means to do so doused the flame of that desire. No longer a poor, struggling child, Eddie splurged with his well-earned tour profits to get himself a quality camera and a new start in life. It took no time at all for him to read the manual and understand how it all worked. Once he got the hang of the little machine in his hands, Eddie let himself loose artistically and created a space for himself. If he couldn’t be in the band, he’d sure as hell capture their candid moments, instead.

And that’s exactly what Eddie did – for a decade, Corroded Coffin had the best behind the scenes footage in the music business. Eddie’s photos were well known by fans of the band and photo artists alike. He had a unique eye that told a story unlike any photographer before him. He loved his work and would’ve been happy to continue it for many years to come.

Of course, allowing for complacency to set in meant Eddie was in for the shock of his lifetime. Corroded Coffin was scheduled to start their tenth world tour a couple of weeks before Christmas. Eddie had already used the travel as an excuse to put his uncle off for another year. While he missed Wayne more than he cared to admit, Eddie had no intention of ever going back to Hawkins. He thought he had the greatest job in the world that would always give him an out. Except, the job he thought was his forever was quickly yanked out from under him.

Eddie should’ve saw it coming. Jeff and their newest guitarist, Kurt, started pulling away months before the news came. After so many years of friendship, Eddie brushed off Jeff’s distance, chalked it up to too much time spent together after a long stretch of road shows. It never once crossed his mind that the guys were planning to trade him in for something younger, prettier, and more busty than Eddie could ever be. Walking up to the bus to see a petite blonde with a camera bag strapped across her extra booby chest shouldn’t have come as such as surprise – but it did. Eddie was so shocked that he stood there dumbly as the tour bus rolled away, until there was nothing before him but dust and broken dreams.

It took Eddie an admittedly long time to drag himself away from the life that’d been his just moments before. He was numb and lost, completely not with it when he called Wayne to cry and complain and finally break down. There were no inhibitions left when he readily agreed to go home for Christmas. His mind was completely gone in those tender minutes of insanity. By the time that Eddie realized what he’d done, seven hours and two gas fill ups were already under his belt. Aside from that, he’d given Wayne his word; Eddie disappointed his old man enough to know that doing so again wasn’t an option this time around. Despite hating the thought of retracing his steps anywhere near the home he used to have, Eddie gripped the wheel a little tighter and kept on driving. When all was said and done, what did he really have to lose?

Unfortunately, Eddie had several more hours to ponder that exact question. His sanity seemed to be the only thing hovering on the edge, though that wasn’t much different than the past few months for Eddie. The crazy right turn he was taking at the moment was inevitable – Eddie felt the need to break free and change everything bubbling up for a long time. Too bad it took the sudden jolt of being stabbed in the back to set Eddie on the right path. In the long run, Eddie was lucky his uncle gave enough shit about him to invite him back at all.

Thinking back to their conversation, Eddie let himself smile – the quirk of his lips almost felt foreign after being in such a perpetual bad mood. Wayne was known to do that, though.

“What’s the matter boy?” Eddie recalled Wayne saying. His uncle’s voice was rough and deep, but Eddie recognized the care there, too. “You calling more than once in the month is too rare of an occasion to be a coincidence.”

There was a moment of silence where Eddie tried to remember why he spent so much time avoiding the man on the other side of the line. The unsubtle way Wayne just laid himself down was too much for him in that moment. Eddie was embarrassed to admit that his uncle was grossly correct – he went out of his way to make the time between calls longer and longer. It seemed silly now, in a desperate moment where Eddie needed the comfort and Wayne offered it so willingly.

So, Eddie spilled his guts. He told Wayne everything about the unsatisfactory nature of his life, how he missed the connection that music brought, how he never really fit in after having to step away and take up a new role. Eddie let so much of his troubles go that Wayne even knew about his loneliness by the time the words had run dry and the truth was the only thing that remained. There was no real argument when Wayne suggested coming back to Hawkins – Eddie was even shocked to hear that some work opportunities might be available to him. Desperate and ready to be back in someone’s orbit that cared for him, Eddie agreed, packed a bag, and set off.

He was still thinking about the hastiness of that decision when the Hawkins sign on the side of the road came into view. Sucking in a weary breath, Eddie tried not to anxiously clench his jaw. It was obviously too late to turn back – aside from nineteen hours of committed driving time already, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if maybe a break from all the bull shit was a good thing. It’d been so long since Eddie slowed down that he truly couldn’t remember the last time it happened. Resolving himself to that positive attitude, Eddie flicked on his turn blinker to make the final descent into Hawkins proper. As he let go of the brake and shifted the wheel, Eddie shook his head and let go.

Driving down Main Street, Eddie was pleasantly surprised to see that while a lot had actually changed, not so much of it had, either. The huge grocery store was still the same, even the little cart rack by the road was eerily familiar. Eddie would’ve sworn it was a decade ago if it weren’t for the huge coffee shop that now took up the space that used to be a thrift store. The empty parking spot right by the door drew Eddie in as the siren of coffee made it impossible to drive any further without stopping. Eddie parked his car and climbed out with a surge of excitement rushing through him – he thought he would have to get by with Wayne’s special brand of sludgy-black coffee. Knowing he had a place to escape to made his arrival back to a place he tried to avoid a bit better than he first imagined. Maybe he’d actually be able to get through his visit after all.

Of course, thinking those sorts of wishful thoughts was dangerous, giving Eddie the kind of hope that had no business residing in the same vessel as his perpetual bad attitude. That truth made itself abundantly clear when one of the most haunting ghosts from his past met Eddie at the door of the coffee shop.

Steve Harrington, the most beautiful man himself, was parked at a small table on the right side of the shop. He was facing the doors so that Eddie spotted him the second he strolled in. All the confidence in Eddie’s step drained from him at the sight of his childhood crush. As he sat there, Steve looked more gorgeous than ever. The glasses that framed his hazel eyes were stylish and fit the shape of Steve’s cheeks too well – Steve’s fine features certainly didn’t need any extra help. They drew Eddie’s eyes first thing, though the David Bowie concert shirt was a close second. While more than ten years had passed, Steve Harrington still looked like the eighteen year-old that Eddie remembered. If it weren’t for the facial hair and barely noticeable lines by his eyes, Eddie would be certain Steve was some sort of time traveler or immortal who didn’t age. In truth, the man simply looked good – as if anything aside from that was ever an option for the best looking guy that Hawkins had to offer.

Quickly realizing that he’d gone still to think up all of those not so pure things, Eddie straightened his posture and walked further into the shop. He dragged in a long breath of air, only to let out a soft sigh of relief at the tantalizing scent of freshly ground coffee beans. Closing his eyes for a moment, Eddie let the familiarity of being around something that brought him comfort sit in his chest and warm him up. After everything he’d been through, a simple thing like good coffee was more than enough to bring him a little happiness.

The sound of someone saying “Welcome to Henderson’s” brought Eddie out of his trance. Looking up, Eddie was shocked to see Nancy Wheeler, of all people, standing expectantly behind the counter. Eddie had to work hard not to let his jaw drop at the sight. Out of all the people he expected to be back in their sleepy little town, Nancy wasn’t one of them. She had a lot of gusto in her personality and the brains to match. For a moment, Eddie allowed himself to marvel at the funny way that life worked.

“Holy shit, you’re Nancy Wheeler.” Eddie was still so shocked that he forgot to check his mouth at the door. Trying to smile through the awkwardness, Eddie forced himself to count to ten and not flee from his very spot. On top of Nancy’s brainy prowess, Eddie couldn’t help but recall the badass streak the little woman before him had in her. He feared for his life for a brief moment. Then, the cutest look of confusion overtook her face and Eddie relaxed.

Her, “do I know you – “ was elegantly interrupted by Steve Harrington standing up from his chair and joining the conversation. “Eddie Munson, as I live and breathe!” His exclamation rang so loudly throughout the store that even Nancy drew back a little. She smartly cut herself off and went about fiddling with the cash register in front of her. Eddie, ever the brave one, turned to greet Steve, a soft smile on his face. “I didn’t believe Wayne when he said you were coming back to town.”

At the mention of his uncle, Eddie forgot the drool he’d been trying not to let drip down his chin to shfit his attention elsewhere. “You know Wayne?” Eddie asked stupidly, his tone perplexed. He cringed at himself for a second before pushing past the oddness of it all. For some reason, Steve Harrington knew his uncle and Eddie planned to find out why.

Steve, the gorgeous little asshole, didn’t even blink an eye. “I sure do. He’s one of the best substitute teachers in town. I don’t know what we’d do without him – especially at this time of the year.” Steve smiled then, the look almost wolfish. His teeth were white and blinding, much too distracting for the discussion at hand.

“What in the world is happening?” Eddie asked, looking up at the ceiling dramatically. Wayne, the man who didn’t even want to help him with his homework, was a teacher… at a school? Just when Eddie thought things were already thrown way out of whack, another oddity came slamming down on the pile. “I can’t believe Wayne’s a teacher. You,” he said, pointing over at Steve, “I can see being one, but Wayne – he refused to proofread for me before I started high school!”

A sharp laugh cut through Eddie’s downward spiral. Steve’s lips were pulled back in a genuine expression of mystified enjoyment. “I’m actually the principal, but you’re not all that far off. I was a teacher for the first couple years of my career.” Crossing his arms, Steve relaxed his long limbs and leaned against the front counter with the slightest pop of his hip. “One of my kids got under Wayne’s skin a couple of school years ago. It’s hard to say no to the little monsters once you’ve come to understand the power of puppy dog eyes and little lip wobbles.”

Dumbfounded that Steve seemed to know more about his uncle now than he did, Eddie mumbled out some half-assed response, then turned away from the conversation completely to babble out his coffee order, side-eyeing Steve the entire time. Things stayed silent and tense for the entirety of the three minutes it took for Nancy to make his quad-espresso and slide it across the counter towards him. Eager to do something with his hands, Eddie swept it up and brought the cup to his mouth. Pushing past the scalding his tongue was taking, Eddie felt immediate relief as the caffeine hit his taste buds and sunk down his throat to get blissfully lost in his blood stream. The fire in his mouth was nothing when compared to the warm feeling that settled in his chest. “You sure know how to make a good cup of coffee, Wheeler,” Eddie finally said, breaking the silence with a throw away comment. Not sticking around to see how she was going to react, Eddie gripped his cup and made a beeline for the exit.

He was almost to the door when Steve’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks; it even had Eddie turning around to face him once again. “See you around, Munson. Tell Wayne I said hello.” Steve looked triumphant and grossly beautiful as he stared Eddie down. Raising his cup in a silent salute, Eddie used that as his answer before actually running out of the shop.

The fresh air hitting Eddie’s face helped him to reset himself. His heart was beating rapidly, the thrum of it so heavy that he heard it in his faulty ears. A fine sheen of sweat had started to collect on his brow, sticking his hair to the skin there. Even the tips of his fingers felt a little tingly from the craziness of the situation. Now that he was a bit more removed from it, Eddie was floored to know that his uncle had inadvertently befriended the one boy Eddie hadn’t ever been able to stop thinking about. No amount of distance drove the visage of Steve Harrington from his brain. Leave it to his oblivious uncle to make the connection that Eddie craved to have himself.

Stewing on that for the rest of his drive to Wayne’s, Eddie took long, pensive sips of his incredibly tasty coffee. Though he used the compliment as a spring board out of the store, Eddie was genuine with his words. The beans were obviously high quality, picked with the sort of care only a person like Nancy Wheeler had. The press and subsequent grind of them left no remnants behind, creating a smooth and satisfying mouthfeel with each gulp. Eddie had admittedly lived in the big city for too long – most of the drivel they called coffee there was subpar, barely better than the swill that Wayne liked to cook up for himself. It only made sense that Eddie’s slow down came with a reminder that sometimes things were done their best in a place where care and love led the way. Chicago, despite all of its perks and pluses, was not that type of city.

Regardless of all his inner turmoil, Eddie perked right up when he pulled into the driveway of Wayne’s bungalow. His old man was excitedly standing by the screen door, eagerly waiting for Eddie to return. Adorably, Wayne was out of the door before Eddie put his van into park. The warm set of arms that wrapped around him the second he stepped down from the driver’s seat was one of the main things Eddie’s life had been missing – he knew the truth of that fact the second Wayne pulled him close. How had he gone so long without feeling his pseudo-father’s embrace?

“It’s so good to see you, Wayne,” Eddie said as they pulled away from each other. He kept his hands fisted in his uncle’s flannel shirt, unable to fully detach himself from their rejuvenated closeness. Wayne wasn’t any better off, both hands had moved to cup Eddie’s elbows, his grip light but determined to keep Eddie near all the same.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, that’s for sure,” Wayne slapped back, laughing through the real feelings encased in that sentiment. “I see you haven’t changed the way you wear your hair.”

And just like that, the distance of thirteen years no longer existed. Eddie leaned into the grief Wayne gave him about his even longer hair and the new collection of tattoos that Eddie added to his skin. He laughed and smiled and felt at home for the first time since he took off and never looked back. As they settled in with a beer and some surprisingly delicious Christmas cookies, Eddie tried to recall again why he ever thought stepping away from such a place was a good idea. He knew, rationally, that the feeling of welcome and the affection of being around a person that cared about him no matter what was pretty blinding. Still, Eddie couldn’t brush off the feeling of rightness that surrounded him.

At least, not since he stepped foot in that stupid coffee shop.

Eddie woke the next morning to the sound of loud knocking on the door. Staying perfectly still on the mattress, Eddie tried to silently will away the person disturbing his sleep. He’d been dead to the world for the first time in thirteen years, stubbornly, Eddie wasn’t ready to give up the satiated feeling.

Wayne, who could be the only person interrupting him so early, didn’t seem to care about the floaty haze of sleepiness that Eddie was chasing. In fact, the knocks that came next were louder and much more persistent than the first round. “Eddie, you need to get up, son. The timing belt in my truck is on the fritz again and I need a ride into school. Harrington called about a possible sub job and I want to check it out.”

“Wayne, I’m on vacation – “ Eddie tried to say, but was quickly stopped by a sharp, high pitched laugh.

“Well, I’m not. Welcome home, son. Get your ass up and give your old man a lift.”

There was no refusing an order like that. Eddie rolled over petulantly a couple of times before realizing his fate and getting up. He was slow to pull on his trusty pair of jeans and shrug into a flannel. Wayne knocked again when Eddie was finishing up the laces on his boots. “You sure know how to take your sweet time. Come on, Ed – I’m going to be late.” Wayne looked so serious saying those words that Eddie’s plan to be a little shit went by the wayside. Despite not really understanding the change in his uncle, Eddie liked what he was seeing. Wayne had a zest for life that Eddie never noticed in him before.

They were just pulling out of Wayne’s neighborhood when Eddie decided it was finally time he got a couple of answers. After all, it was the least Wayne could do after dragging him out of bed so goddamn early. Gripping the steering wheel tight, Eddie shifted into a cruising gear and let himself talk. “When did you start subbing? Steve Harrington was happy to let me know you’re one of his favorites.” Waiting a beat, Eddie tried to calm himself down before saying, “and when did you two become so close? He made it sound like you were buddies or something.”

Wayne’s chuckle meant that Eddie didn’t succeed in remaining cool and unaffected. Eddie turned his head more firmly towards the road to hide the blush his uncle’s reaction brought about. The old man already knew him so well, even with the thirteen year hiatus – Eddie didn’t need biology to continue to give him away.

There wasn’t any further teasing in the silent moments that followed. Eddie wondered if Wayne was simply going to ignore him when his uncle finally spoke up. “I got conned into volunteering at the elementary school a couple of years ago. This woman I was dating had grandchildren that were first and third graders there, so I went along with it. I met Nancy’s youngest boy, Evan, at the fall fair I was working a booth at. He had the brightest little smile, Eddie – just like you when you were a boy.” Wayne looked ethereal and happy, like that moment truly had changed his life. Eddie listened a little closer as Wayne continued. “I started volunteering more and more until one day, Steve asked if I’d be interested in becoming a substitute teacher.” The smile grew bigger, driving Wayne’s next point home even further. “It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, son. I really enjoy working with the kids.”

Eddie didn’t need any further evidence past those words and the happiness radiating off of his uncle in waves. Nodding lightly, Eddie buried all of the other things he wanted to ask – what more could he really question when it came to his uncle’s life? Not being there meant not having much room to talk or suggest or even launch an interrogation. It made him warm and satisfied to know that Wayne had found something that brought him true and tangible joy – even if that meant having to spend any time at all with Steve Harrington. The small moments they were in each other’s presence were a hostile torture that Eddie wasn’t all that sure how he felt about.

As if the universe were listening to his thoughts, Eddie pulled up to Hawkins Elementary to the glorious sight of Principle Steve in action. The same glasses from the day before remained artfully pushed up his nose, but that was all Eddie could find of the man from the coffee shop. Denim was replaced with a dark khaki that accentuated the nice cut of Steve’s thighs. Eddie tried not to think too much about the pert swell of Steve’s ass in the fabric, though the struggle was real. A burgundy button up showcased pecs and biceps and the flash of muscular forearms that rolled up sleeves showed off so teasingly. If Wayne weren’t in the passenger seat, Eddie would’ve parked the car just to stare. It’d been so long and Steve Harrington truly had it going on.

Which meant, of course, that he had to be the worst kind of unobtainable. As he pulled into a parking space to let Wayne out, Eddie caught the tail end of an exchange between Nancy and Steve. Holding the most adorable little boy, Steve looked radiant, like he was right at home. The two obviously knew each other because the child perked up almost immediately. Nancy was smiling her own little grin as she watched the two of them. Then, the worst thing happened – Steve leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Nancy’s cheek. There was a second where the entirety of Eddie’s heart broke into tiny little pieces, though he only allowed the hurt to remain for a second. By the time Wayne unclicked his seatbelt and made to get out, Eddie had himself under control again – his heart and Steve Harrington be damned.

Not making any move to join Wayne outside of the car, Eddie was taken aback by his uncle’s expectant look – “you coming, son? I won’t be able to come back out to the car if they assign me a classroom.” Eddie wanted to shake his head and say no vehemently; after what he just saw, Eddie needed some alone time to cry a bit and lick his wounds. There was only so much heartbreak a person could take. Instead, Eddie shut off the car and followed his uncle into the school.

Despite knowing his uncle was popular with the students, Eddie wasn’t prepared for the welcome Wayne received. All of the kids they passed seemed to know him and the lady working the front desk practically lit up like a Christmas tree when Wayne smiled her way. It was odd to see a Munson received so well in the city of Hawkins – Eddie never would’ve left if he knew the family name he carried wasn’t going to continue to drag him down and through the mud.

Shaking that thought away, Eddie made to follow Wayne but was stopped by Steve Harrington’s torturously lovely voice. How had he managed to sneak up on Eddie again? Not having the willpower to keep pressing on, to ignore Steve and the way he made him feel, Eddie braced himself for another emotional roller coaster ride. Trying to be casual about it, Eddie pulled in a long breath before turning to meet the biggest tease of the century.

Steve looked even better up close. The dark maroon of his shirt brought out the paleness of his skin. That only worked to magnify the beauty marks and freckles Eddie so desperately wanted to map out. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Eddie’s fingers ached to be wrapped around his camera. The vision that Steve made deserved to be preserved on film. Quickly pushing through that urge, Eddie buckled down and did his best to remember his manners. “Hi, Steve. Long time no see.”

Eddie wanted to slap a hand over his face the moment the lame greeting left his mouth. It stood in the air much too long for Eddie’s taste, embarrassing him further. He already was a quivering mess, constantly making a fool out of himself wasn’t going to do Eddie any further good. Though, reminding himself that Steve wasn’t on the market should help to clear up the tripping over his own feet thing. Without the hope of something tangible, Eddie could live his life without trying to impress Steve.

Maybe.

Blinking back, Eddie managed to pick up the last of Steve’s sarcastic – “That’s the magic of living in a small town. We’re bound to run into each other everywhere.”

Already sure he missed half of what Steve said before, Eddie bit into his bottom lip and worked hard to focus. The last thing he wanted to do was make Steve think he wasn’t interested in their conversation. Despite knowing all was lost, Eddie was pathetic enough to still want to revel in Steve’s presence. His heart could take the beating if it meant getting to look upon the work of art Principle Harrington was. Eddie was only a man, after all. He wasn’t above taking the least he could get while the going was still hot.

“Right – how could I possibly forget?” Eddie smiled through the anxiety of those words as their truth settled. They were worth it, however – Steve’s lips quirked into a soft little smile.

“Thirteen years is a long time to be gone, Eddie. The mind lets go of little things like that all the time.” Steve looked serious for a second then that cheeky grin of his returned. “I’m just kidding. Small town life is inescapable, no matter how long you try and run.” There was a moment of silence where Steve stared at Eddie, those hazel eyes taking him in like a specimen under a microscope. Just as quickly as that gaze was upon him, it was gone in a blink – Steve looked over Eddie’s shoulder and beyond, his attention elsewhere already.

Eddie thought that was the end of it, his brief two minutes of connection with his coveted crush, but Steve surprised him by speaking again. “Your uncle continuously bragged on your photography work over the years.” Steve emphasized his words by pointing behind Eddie. It took turning his entire body to see what Steve was gesturing at. Though, the effort was worth it. There, on the far wall, was one of Eddie’s more famous pieces. The far off look Steve had just moments before suddenly made a lot more sense.

Looking the picture over, Eddie thought fondly about the moment captured so beautifully. After a concert in Mexico, Corroded Coffin had their usual meet and greet with fans. Eddie joined in by taking the fans’ Polaroids and official snaps for the band. In between a moment of chaos where one set of VIPs made room for another, Eddie noticed a young boy waiting with his family in line. For some reason, Eddie felt compelled to capture the absolute joy on that boy’s face. Eddie hadn’t ever been so excited to get into the dark room after a show. Months later, that very photo won him a couple of different awards and some noteworthy attention. Of all his work, Eddie was secretly proud of that off the wall accomplishment the most. Though, Eddie never knew that Wayne was, too.

Ducking his head to hide the immense satisfaction he suddenly felt, Eddie willed the blush creeping up his neck to halt in place. When it didn’t, Eddie shifted his focus back to Steve – Steve, who was staring at Eddie like he hung the moon – Steve, who, not even half an hour ago, was kissing Nancy Wheeler’s cheek with a child in his arms. Thankfully, that sudden flash of reality was grounding, much more than enough to bring Eddie back from the floaty yet totally unattainable sense of reality he was trekking towards.

“He’s a proud uncle, what can I say?” The words broke the odd silence both men were lingering in. Even Steve seemed to blink back to himself.

“With every right to be. You’re talented, Eddie.” Steve looked genuine as those words spilled from his mouth. Even more so when he spoke again – “Would you be willing to pick up some work while you’re here? I know you’re on vacation, but the school really could use a bit of a makeover.”

Dumbfounded by the offer, Eddie tried not to sound silly in his reply. “You want me to take photos for you? Portraiture isn’t my usual bag, Harrington.”

Eddie watched Steve turn his eyes back to the photo on the wall before saying anything. Already knowing he wasn’t going to be able to say no, Eddie steeled himself for whatever argument Steve was going to throw his way. Surprisingly, the principle went right for Eddie’s heart. “The winter festival is coming up and the kids get so excited. You’d have the perfect subjects at their very best. Just think of all the candid stuff you’ll be able to get.”

Done in and completely aware of it, Eddie readily agreed. He was smart enough to know that whatever argument Steve came up with next would be even more thorough and heart string pulling than the first. It seemed to be his best bet to simply give in and hang on for the ride. After all, Eddie was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Despite the tiny little detail of Steve being unavailable, Eddie wasn’t above using the events he’d be working to spend a little extra time with his lifelong crush. When all was said and done, Eddie was the one that had to deal with the fallout of unrequited feelings. If he wanted to play with fire a bit before getting burned, well, that was no one’s business but his own.

Bundled up in his leather jacket and a borrowed beanie from Wayne, Eddie met up with the Hawkins Elementary kids at the tree farm. The day was beautiful enough for Eddie to feel eager about pulling out his camera. After talking it over with Wayne, Eddie was kind of honored to be tasked with such artistic creation. He’d been more than ready to branch out past sweaty guys on stage for a long time now. A project that obviously meant a lot to the people involved in the school was a great stepping stone towards work in other areas. It didn’t hurt, either, that Eddie was home during the most picturesque time of the year. No matter what Eddie shot of his subjects, the pictures were bound to be beautiful.

Upon arriving, Eddie tossed a cursory nod Steve’s way before getting right to work. The entire tree farm had been rented out for the school, so Eddie had his choice of chaos to document. For a while, Eddie walked up and down the tree lines, snapping whatever moved him or caught his attention. There was a wonderful shot of a group of small children that were gathered around a big tree looking up at it with awe that Eddie was giddy to develop later on. It’d been way too long since Eddie felt that sort of excitement towards his work. It felt too soon to revel in it but Eddie was genuinely ecstatic about the needed change in attitude.

Still riding that high, Eddie wasn’t prepared for the storybook scene he walked into a couple of hours into the event. Just his luck, Eddie rounded a corner, only to bump into Nancy and Steve talking softly amongst themselves. They looked so cozy that Eddie wanted to shout and scream, to cause a scene – anything to break up the touching little moment happening between the king and his queen. Gritting his teeth, Eddie nodded at them both before powerwalking in the opposite direction he needed to go. The trek back through the trees he already explored was a complete waste of his time, yet anything was better than playing witness to the literal soap opera happening before him.

Tucking himself back into his work, Eddie pointed and clicked until his fingers were numb from all the exposure to the cold. He pushed through it until the tip of the finger he needed to shoot was tingling. Finally able to look up from his trance, Eddie couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous everything around him was. Fresh snow capped the trees and shined brightly in the sun. Chicago was too urban of a place to get a view that wholistic and natural. Usually, Eddie looked out his window to see the next apartment building over or something crazy happening out on the sidewalk. He had to ride his bike or take a cab to the parts of the city that had any foliage at all. Letting himself dwell too much on what the pang in his chest meant was not what Eddie needed in that moment; so, he shook himself out of the haze of dreams and wants to step back into reality.

A reality where, after spending an entire day trying to avoid him, Steve Harrington found Eddie, anyway. It seemed as if that smile and the infuriating man attached to it was following him everywhere. Eddie was too preoccupied with his own internal struggle of not finding Steve absolutely adorable to conjure up a safe and not completely obvious escape strategy – in other words, he was stuck. Stuck and cornered talking to the one person he wanted more than anything else but couldn’t have. The refreshed knowledge of that sad truth made even being around him too hard to bare. Especially after seeing him with Nancy again. The hurt wasn’t new but the scrape against bloodied flesh was raw and fresh. Gritting his teeth to tamper down all of that misery, Eddie tried to smile in Steve’s direction. “Enjoying yourself, Mr. Harrington?”

Steve stared at him for a second, almost as if he were trying to clock Eddie and his attitude, before straightening up and slipping into his normally suave persona. “Abundantly,” Steve said with an air of sarcasm to his tone. He looked over his shoulder, then leaned in to get closer to Eddie. He cupped his mouth like one would when speaking a secret. “I’m allergic to pine. Being here makes my skin crawl for days.”

Taken by surprise, Eddie was unable to stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. The noise was loud and rich, in an octave that even Eddie could hear. “Sorry – that’s just… ironic. Why is this one of the activities you plan if you have to down a couple of Benadryl to get through?”

The contemplative look that flitted across Steve’s face was too good a thing to miss out on. With lightening quick hands, Eddie brought his camera up and snapped a handful of shots before Steve caught on and decided to frown or purse his lips unattractively. Eddie didn’t need to look at the back of the camera to know he’d just taken the best images of the evening – he felt their greatness down in the very marrow of his bones. Smiling at the thought, Eddie shifted his attention back to the subject at hand.

Too much of a gentleman to mention it, Steve didn’t say a word about Eddie’s chaotic interruption. He simply smiled a little wider as he went on to talk about the school board and the many decisions that Steve actually didn’t get to make despite being the person literally responsible for the children always being volleyed back and forth and voted over. Despite himself, Eddie listened closely, even felt a bit bad for a principal that just wanted to make positive changes without the means to do so. He wanted to joke about Steve’s ability to charm anyone, to say something about that dazzling smile always getting him his way, but the tone of the conversation didn’t call for that. Eddie was certain an ill-timed joke would make Steve more upset about the situation, not less.

“Keep chomping at the bit, Steve. From the sounds of it, you’re looking to do some real good and make a true difference. That has to mean something to someone. You just have to find the right person.” He gripped his camera in his hands tightly, trying to tamper down on the urge to continue to talk and talk. Instead, Eddie rolled his shoulders and let some of the anxious tension go out into the universe. The urge to babble abated, so Eddie felt confident to speak again. “You’re obviously good at your job, Harrington. Keep that up and things are bound to change.”

Steve was silent for a long moment following Eddie’s last statement. He simply looked over at Eddie unblinkingly. Just as it was starting to get a little eerie, Steve perked up. It was like a switch had been flipped or something. Now full of energy, Steve shifted on his feet until he was suddenly reaching out into the space between them. Shockingly warm fingers were brushing against Eddie’s cheek before he had a chance to brace himself. Eddie tried not to go still or lean into the touch, though he wasn’t all that sure of his success. Steve continued to stare at him, even as he drew his hand away, even as Eddie sucked in a long breath to try and get his heart rate under control.

“You had a – “ Steve started, finally breaking their eye contact to look at his empty hand. “You have snow on your cheek.”

Dumbfounded and a little bit turned on by the weird sequence of events, Eddie nodded his head in thanks. Words were not his friend at the moment – even if he had access to them, Eddie didn’t know what he’d even say. Of course, hitting his knees and begging for more was always an option. Though, taken guys didn’t always react the best to that sort of public display of lust. Something in Eddie’s gut said that Steve probably wouldn’t be THAT opposed, though. For someone committed to one of the most beautiful people in the city of Hawkins, Steve certainly was loose with his attention. Since starting their conversation, Eddie was certain Steve’s eyes hadn’t left him. What did that mean coming from a person that was already someone else’s?

Eddie pondered that question all the way home and well into the next evening. While Wayne was at work, Eddie took up space in a local dark room. Despite never coming back to Hawkins, Eddie didn’t lose touch with all of his friends there. Jonathan Byers, the man who originally put Eddie in the path of his very first camera, was more than happy to lend out his developing space while Eddie was in town. It was a great excuse for the two of them to catch up and talk shop while Eddie got ahead of his work. Steve wasn’t expecting any of his prints until after Christmas, but the excitement coursing through Eddie was too much. If he didn’t put his hands on his photos right from the start, the creative juices could fly right out the window again. Knowing himself and the way his artistic drive worked, Eddie understood the need to wrap himself up in his shots from the get-go. Luckily, Eddie opted out of doing things the new, high tech digital way, and still needed to tactilely work with his images. The excuse to be in the dark, by himself – Eddie always enjoyed the call of film over digital for that reason alone.

The hands-on nature of the job was enough for Eddie to push his quandary with Steve away for a little while. His eyes lit up with excitement and pride as each of the shots Eddie was stoked for the previous day came to life before him. The photo of all the kids gathered around the lot’s giant tree was as gorgeous as Eddie figured it would be – and so was the snap of Steve. Eddie managed to keep him out of his head all the way through the developing process; the mindless nature of culling, printing, and soaking the film took up a lot of brain bytes, almost to the point where thinking about anything else could be detrimental to the ritual. In this case, it wasn’t – Eddie was extra careful with the print of Steve’s smiling face. He soaked it for a couple of extra seconds and took great joy in watching the life of the image overtake the blank whiteness of the printing paper. When it was complete, Eddie hung the photo up to dry, staring dazedly at it. Despite himself, Eddie didn’t get any more work done that afternoon.

Coming out of his Steve induced haze just in time, Eddie took down all of his creations and tucked them into a long brown envelope. Thankfully it was dark as Eddie left Jonathan’s dark room – he wouldn’t need to worry about the sunlight staining the images. With a surprising tenderness and care, Eddie placed the envelope on the passenger seat, watching it with hawk-like vision as he took turns and navigated his way back through town. Eddie toiled over whether to bring them in with him when he pulled up to the elementary school but thought better of it. He would need both hands free to shoot the Christmas play that was next on the work docket, anyway.

The auditorium was decorated to the nines. Upon opening the door, Eddie had to bite down on his tongue to hold back the gasp. In short, the makeshift theater looked like Christmas had reared back and vomited all over every surface. There were hanging snowflakes coming down from the ceiling, while every inch of the walls seemed to be covered with some version of tacky garland. Fairy lights of all hues of white were strung up to give off a haloing glow to contrast the harsh brightness coming from the stage. Eddie blinked a couple of times to finally find the magic in it all. To a small child, the plethora of decorations probably seemed like a typical part of the season. All of the kids funneling out onto the stage were much too young to understand the commercial idiocy that adorned the walls. By the time the show started, Eddie found himself appreciating the gaudiness – after taking a peek at his latest shots and their quality, Eddie couldn’t care less about the backdrop or the environment they were in. The kids and their energy shot so well that happiness and excitement were tangible in every image Eddie looked at, no matter the location.

As the show came to an end, Eddie fled to the back of the auditorium in hopes of staying out of everyone’s way (and avoiding a certain someone, though he’d never admit to it). Eddie worked to break his equipment down and put it away while proud parents and exuberant kids passed him by. He tried to smile and return each of their waves but the sheer abundance of attention felt like too much. Ducking his head to get the job done was much more efficient and had the added benefit of allowing him to hide. Eddie figured he did an okay job of it – he managed to get his flash and all of his lenses away before someone demanded his attention again.

“You’re pretty sneaky, Munson,” Eddie heard Steve say behind him. Straightening up, Eddie turned to face Hawkins Elementary’s principle. Like usual, Eddie’s breath caught at the sight before him. Steve wasn’t quite as casual as Eddie saw him that first day but the button up shirt and khakis were gone, too. Instead, Steve had on an obnoxious gingham sweater and dark blue jeans. He looked every inch an infuriatingly attractive dad. Eddie wondered if Steve’s kids understood the magnitude of their father’s appeal. They probably never would, not with him being the principal and all.

Shaking his head of all those thoughts, Eddie did his best to focus in on what Steve actually said. “It’s part of the job, Mr. Harrington. You can’t see the photographer flitting around at the front of the stage. I’m kind of like Santa in that aspect – everyone is better off not knowing when or where or how I managed to get the shots I do. There’d be no magic, otherwise.” Eddie found himself smiling then, those fresh words coming from his mouth more true than anything else. It’d been such a long time since Eddie saw his art for what it actually was instead of the hustle it became. There was nothing like surprising an audience with a shot that no one expected.

“Well, Mr. Claus, I’m happy you ended up making it. The show was way too good to miss.” Steve’s eyes were alight with amusement and mischief. Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at the look. Only someone ballsy enough to take a principal gig could make a joke like that.

“You’re not wrong. That last solo was killer.”

There was a moment of silence where Eddie went back to packing up his things. Upon turning his back to Steve, Eddie figured the other man would head out like the rest of the crowd – after an hour’s worth of listening to crooning, escape was a basic human necessity. The fact that Steve was still standing there when Eddie was done confused him even more. First the lingering looks and now the incessant need to always be around – if Eddie hadn’t seen Steve and Nancy together with his own eyes, he would’ve been questioning the soundness of their relationship. Most happy people didn’t flirt with the returned town outcast.

Going one step further to totally screw Eddie up, Steve politely invited Eddie out for hot chocolate. He used the guise of wanting to see some of the photos Eddie took already, but they didn’t actually end up looking at any of them. The minutes were passed with easy conversation and moans of satisfaction as Eddie drank not one but two mugs of the best hot chocolate he’d ever had. Steve told him about college and getting into the teaching game. He spoke about being a student athlete and getting hurt, becoming one of the old foogies in his group of friends, even about the reunion he went to with his basketball buddies every year. Yet, never once did he mention kids or a wife. Eddie spent more time wondering why that was than trying to reciprocate with his own half of the conversation. Aside from not having much to contribute (Eddie’s life had been pretty much the same for a decade), Eddie simply liked to listen to Steve talk. It was a beautiful thing that made Eddie’s chest tighten with warmth and want and a new sort of affection that was both foreign and scary. It took genuine effort to push that feeling down and away when they parted later that night.

Still so confused and done in by all that was happening with Steve, Eddie wasn’t at all prepared for Wayne’s annual game night. Despite a thirteen year gap in being home, Twisted Christmas (as Wayne had taken to affectionately calling their big night) was an old tradition. Eddie remembered a couple of Christmas before moving in with Wayne permanently where his parents and grandparents even took part. Usually excited for the evening, Eddie tried hard not to dread spending time with the people he really did care about. Being back home reminded him of all the friendships (or could be ones) that he left behind. Jonathan and Will Byers were the type of guys that Eddie saw himself spending copious amounts of time with. Maxine, who strictly went by Max now, was a spitfire, still filled to the very brim with personality and spunk. There were so many humans in Hawkins that Eddie was already dreading leaving behind. Even a particular one that never seemed to stop haunting Eddie’s steps.

Because the world was out to get him (or maybe it was Wayne), Eddie obviously drew Steve’s name out of the hat when it was his turn to pull for a partner. It only made sense that the person torturing him unknowingly at every turn would be his only hope for salvation throughout the night. With Eddie’s luck, they were either going to win the whole thing or completely flop belly up. He had more random run ins with Steve when actively trying to avoid him than ever before. The odds had to be in his favor.

And thankfully, they were. Eddie dug deep and worked extra hard to stay focused on the tasks at hand. Steve dragged him through beer pong and quarters so Eddie could really shine during all of the card games. They ran the Spades table for so much of the night that Wayne cut that tournament short on account of everyone getting their asses handed to them. At the end of the night that coveted trophy Eddie never managed to win before was finally in his hands. It was made better by the fact that Steve was crowded into his side, beaming with a similar happiness. Eddie had to look away lest he use the ease of the moment to palm Steve’s cheeks and kiss him soundly. Nancy’s presence on the other side of the room helped dispel the urge, too. Despite being wild and rambunctious and admittedly crazy, Eddie wasn’t a homewrecker.

Except, that thought was easy to push away a couple of hours later. After cementing their victory and the party ending, Eddie was too wound up to sit around and do nothing with Wayne. Steve seemed just as excited to get out and celebrate, so he called up Robin and Chrissy to invite them out for the evening. Seeing Chrissy swollen with a baby was such a shock that Eddie completely bypassed Robin talking about their marriage a couple of years ago. Eddie knew that time marched on and people changed but the visual representation of it knocked him off kilter. People their age had families, babies and wives and commitments for the holidays. Being a drifter suddenly didn’t have the same shine to it as before. Not for the first time, Eddie felt the sharp pang of loneliness in the pit of his stomach.

Maybe that was why he allowed himself to do it. Getting drunk was one thing but allowing Steve to drift closer as the night went on was another. Eddie wasn’t strong enough to fight off the closeness but he should’ve been on his toes, should’ve been watching his own back. But, those thoughts made little difference as Steve got closer and closer, as he pulled Eddie into him and pressed their lips together. The warning bell going off in the back of his head wasn’t louder than the raging want that threatened to consume Eddie from the inside out. He was just drunk and desperate enough to climb into the back of a cab with Steve Harrington in tow. A better man would’ve sent him home to Nancy, but Eddie never claimed that title for his own.

For a while, none of the havoc they were wreaking with their actions actually mattered. Eddie was too preoccupied with the taste of Steve on his tongue to care. Like most guys who got way too much action in their teens, Steve kissed like a dream. His lips were eager and soft against Eddie’s. With every push in, Steve countered with a shift of his head or the clench of his hand on whatever part of Eddie he could reach. The twist of their tongues made the onslaught of want flooding Eddie’s brain overtake all of him. He didn’t notice the single man’s apartment they were walking into. He didn’t take into account that only Steve’s stuff was littered around the floor. The only thing that Eddie noticed was the harsh press of Steve’s lips and the rise and fall of heavy breaths.

The two of them untangled from each other long enough to shrug off coats and shirts so bare skin was on display. Eddie didn’t need any further enticing – his hands made quick work of surveying all of the new land on display for him. Clever fingers pinched at nipples and traced the valleys and crevices of Steve’s ribs. The hair artfully splayed along Steve’s lower stomach got too much attention because Eddie had imagined the softness there for much longer than he cared to admit. They were both panting and completely undone by the time Eddie unbuttoned Steve’s pants and stuffed his hand inside.

Steve’s moan echoed throughout Eddie’s head, making him even more desperate to touch. In the years since losing some of his hearing, Eddie hadn’t thought about noise or sound the same way. His touch pulling long groans from Steve’s lips was like music – the loudest, most enticing beat that Eddie had ever heard. The pitch of it didn’t matter when Eddie could lean forward and feel the tangible pleasure in Steve’s chest. His lips were ravenous as his hand worked to stroke Steve from root to tip and back again. Eddie did his best to remember the feeling of Steve in his grip, the softness of his skin despite the rigid nature of his beautiful cock. There were too many things swirling around for Eddie to truly grasp onto anything, however. Especially when Steve dragged himself back enough to say “wait, you too” in a wrecked voice. Focusing following that was much more difficult.

It took a couple extra minutes for Eddie to comply with Steve’s huffed out request. Steve’s cock was just starting to bead pre-cum at the tip, making the glide of Eddie’s hand much smoother. The years of imaging the weight and size of Steve didn’t do the man justice – with so much before him to explore, turning his attention towards anything else was next to impossible.

Though, it ended up being worth it – Steve was impatient enough to tangle their hands up in a lame attempt to get into Eddie’s pants, too. Sucking in a breath at the mere thought, Eddie finally got with the program. He felt bereft without the warm heat of Steve’s length in his hand. The seconds it took to undo his own pants and shove them down were torturous. Now that Eddie had his initial taste, trying not to come back for more was going to be a problem. Already, the small touches they were sharing weren’t enough. At least, that’s what Eddie thought until Steve took Eddie into his own grip and joined in on the fun.

Sometime throughout their desperate song and dance, Eddie’s fingers ended up braided with Steve’s, both of their cocks in that extra tight grip. Their lips were pressed together, though no kissing was happening. They were simply sharing breaths and moans and pleas for more and tighter and faster. Eddie’s mind was hazy at best but even the drunkenness couldn’t hold off the geyser of heat that bubbled up and boiled over without prompting or permission. A surprisingly tender groan of Steve’s name fell from Eddie’s lips – his orgasm sweeping over him like a tidal wave. The weight of it held him under just long enough for the ropes of cum covering his bare chest to feel like the biggest and most satisfactory relief Eddie had ever experienced. It was gloriously capped off by Steve stiffening against him and following him over the edge.

Eddie blinked awake the next morning to a blinding headache and his phone ringing. Turning over onto his hip, panic started to settle in the pit of Eddie’s belly. Instead of the blank wall of Wayne’s guestroom staring back at him, Eddie was met with Steve’s back, instead. All of the sudden, every moment from the night before came rushing back, practically drowning Eddie in all the stupid mistakes he made. Very careful, because Steve was still sleeping like a rock next to him, Eddie got up and out of bed. He hauled in a couple of long breaths to calm himself, to stop the ridiculous regret threatening to take him under. Despite the situation he found himself in, Eddie didn’t normally partake in such illicit affairs. He felt like a hypocrite to say never but Steve was the exception – always had been, always would be.

Hurrying to dress and get the hell out of dodge, Eddie didn’t snoop or explore. In all of his running around, the thought of leaving a note didn’t even occur to him. All that Eddie wanted to do was get away before shit hit the fan. Between humiliation and the desperate desire to do it again, Eddie felt all sorts of twisted up and confused. So much so that he absently answered his phone on the way out to the curb to wait on his uber. The voice on the other side of the phone slowed him down, made Eddie take a step back to actually use his brain and think.

“Hey, Ed. I’m so glad you finally picked up.” Eddie didn’t need to check the caller ID to know that Gareth was on the other side of the line. After making music with him for years and being friends even longer, Eddie recognized the way he said his words and articulated his phrases. He didn’t attempt to hide the shocked noise that came out of his mouth.

Or the expletive – “Gareth – what the fuck do you want, man?”

There was a laugh on the other end of the line, then silence when Eddie didn’t return the gesture. For a second, Eddie thought about hanging up – it would be the right kind of poetic justice that he figured he deserved. Instead, he waited for Gareth to speak. After fucking up Eddie’s world, contacting him at all had to mean something – had to be important somehow.

“Uh, right. First off, I wanted to say sorry. Jeff and Kurt were twenty steps ahead of me when everything happened. It doesn’t excuse our behavior at all but I didn’t know. Not until it was too late.”

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that? I’ve been your best friend for years and you let them replace me. Me, Gareth. I fucking started Corroded Coffin for fucks sake!” Noticing how loud he’d gotten, Eddie bit down into his lower lip, tempering himself. “Tell me what you want, Gareth. Now’s not really the best time.”

“We want you back, Eddie.”

The following conversation kept Eddie company throughout the rest of his ride back to Wayne’s. Gareth told him about Amber and her torrid love affair with not just Jeff but Kurt, too. It was funny to hear his friend recall all of the dramatic breakdowns that happened their first week of touring. Eddie didn’t stop himself from laughing or saying shit like “serves you right” as the tale unfolded. The final fight was the knock in the head everyone needed to remember their loyalty. Though, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if everything Gareth said was just some elaborate rouse to make up for the fact that Amber was terrible, that the band had made a mistake and needed him back. Not hearing that by the time Gareth was finished felt like an even bigger kick in the pants. Despite his want for this very opportunity just weeks ago, Eddie couldn’t put his heart into saying yes. Not with so much going on in the other parts of his life.

Eddie ended the phone call with a promise to call Gareth back when he made his decision. The mere fact that Eddie didn’t say yes right from the get-go said a lot but having an exit strategy was important, too. With everything that just happened with Steve, Eddie might not have much of a choice. He couldn’t be the person that broke apart a home, no matter how much he wanted to.

A couple of days passed before Eddie resurfaced from the emotional storm he found himself smack dab in the center of. He holed himself away and refused to talk to anyone, to answer calls, to even eat the food that Wayne set out for him. The torrential downpour of so many things happening at once was already too much to handle – inviting anything (or anyone) else into his space just wasn’t an option.

Especially Wayne. The man had a certain sixth sense when it came to Eddie. Walking into the bungalow after his night with Steve, Eddie didn’t even have to say anything. Wayne simply wrapped him up in a hug and pulled him close. Eddie needed the comfort, so he leaned into the embrace. It didn’t last for long, though. Instead of sticking around to explain the situation or ask for advice, Eddie isolated himself. He curled up into a stinky little ball and tried not to think about anything.

The third day of solitude did not go unbothered, however. Eddie heard the door open before Wayne’s booming voice drove him out of bed. “Get your ass up, son. I got you some work today. You need to be at Hawkins Hill in an hour.”

Feeling a sense of deja vu, Eddie turned over in bed to shoot his uncle a seething look. “Not today, Wayne. I can’t take a decent picture right now. My mind’s not right.”

Wayne’s eyebrows furrowed at the sound of Eddie’s sulky voice. Eddie watched him scrunch his nose, noticed his features soften. It was pitying and Eddie couldn’t stand it. “No, no wait – I’ll do it. Just – I need a minute to get my shit together.” His uncle’s sigh of satisfaction meant that he’d been had and bested. At that moment in time, Eddie couldn’t bring himself to care. He needed to use the forward momentum Wayne’s pity made him feel to get through the day and onto the next. At least, when all was said and done, Eddie could make a little money for his time.

Eddie regretted his decision to take the job immediately upon arriving at the hill. The very vivid sight of Nancy Wheeler standing there with Steve made his stomach heave. Stuck between immense guilt and a silent rage for Wayne and his manipulative ways, Eddie made slow work of getting out of the car. He practically crawled to the trunk where he clumsily assembled his camera. Why his uncle would do such a thing to him was beyond Eddie, but he planned to find out and make the man’s life an absolute hell because of it. Taking a deep breath so he didn’t slam the trunk harder than needed, Eddie straightened himself up, plastered on a smile, and went to meet his fate.

Walking up to see Dustin Henderson with his arm wrapped around Nancy’s shoulders was not what Eddie expected when he approached the group waiting for him. He looked between the three adults with so much confusion his head spun. Unable to process the situation, Eddie wordlessly turned right back around and practically sprinted towards his van. His professional reputation be damned – Eddie was missing something and didn’t have the time nor energy to puzzle out what it was. He’d been locked up in his room feeling guiltier than ever. With a completely different situation in front of his face, Eddie’s mind quickly replaced that feeling with shame and embarrassment, instead.

Steve, ever the hero, didn’t give Eddie any space or time to run away completely. “Eddie, wait – “

Eddie stopped in his tracks and turned around sharply, a frown on his face. “What is there to wait for? I’m such an idiot. I thought you and Nancy – that those kids were yours. I’ve been head over heels in love with you, hating myself for it.”

“I didn’t realize you misunderstood the situation until it was too late. Eddie, I’m sorry. Misleading you, even if it wasn’t on purpose, was never the objective.” Steve looked defeated, like he too was deflated like a popped balloon. He tried to smile in Eddie’s direction, though – at least he still had enough hope to do that. “I’m their godfather. Dustin is my best friend and those kids feel so much like mine. When he’s away, I help Nancy with the workload. Little Evan is a handful.”

Laughing, because Eddie had come to know the chaos that was Nancy’s youngest pretty intimately. Like Steve, the little boy was Wayne’s favorite. Throughout their interactions, Eddie got to know Evan better than most of the adults he interacted with. Too bad Eddie didn’t have the foresight to ask the poor kid who his daddy was.

“I’m so embarrassed, Steve. Does everyone know how stupid I am?”

Not answering verbally, Steve closed the space between them to sweep Eddie up into his warm arms. He kissed Eddie’s nose before nodding lightly, his face pinched with affectionate entertainment. “Yes, but we all think it’s cute. Dustin is very flattered by the ego boost – if he can score someone in my league – “ Steve trailed off, saving his friend the humiliation of finishing that statement.

Despite himself, or maybe because of his ridiculousness, Eddie smiled.

One Year Later

The Christmas fair was in full swing – Steve was very firmly wearing his principal pants while Eddie enjoyed the freedom of wandering around at will. The little beings that usually clung to his leg were off somewhere with their mother, trying to con her into buying a corn dog or a second helping of cotton candy. Nancy corralled the kids for a little while to give Eddie a few minutes of peace to work. Since moving back to Hawkins, Eddie took up the mantle of town photographer, capturing all of his neighbor’s memories and triumphs. Though it was a far reach from his former position, Eddie appreciated the flexibility of not being on tour nine months out of the year. Every day brought him something new while the opportunity to work with those he loved never changed. For Eddie, after years of loneliness and not fitting in, the job was picture perfect.

Bringing up his camera to capture a soft moment between Robin and her youngest daughter, Eddie was reminded of his good fortune once again. In the past year of existing, more laughter, fun, and happiness lingered in Eddie’s life. He made friends with fellow creatives like Robin, who ran the local radio station, and Lucas Sinclair, who painted in the studio where Eddie rented his dark room space. The people he always imagined hating him quickly became extended family that never blinked an eye at him and Steve together. No matter how much Eddie learned about Steve and his love, the doubt always lingered.

Of course, all Eddie had to do now was look down at the smooth tungsten on his left ring finger. As Eddie snapped another couple shots of Chrissy and Dustin chatting with each other, Eddie vividly remembered the complete feeling that struck him when Steve hit one knee and asked him to be his forever. The happy looks on his family’s faces constantly reminded him of that joy. Later, when Steve waited for Eddie at the end of the aisle, he hoped to see similar looks to cling to and recall.

Like the universe was listening to him, Steve appeared out of nowhere, his arms wrapping around Eddie’s shoulders from behind. Leaning back into him, Eddie gave himself over to the happiness coursing through him. The kiss on his forehead had Eddie looking up, a soft smile overtaking his lips.

#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fanfic #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson/steve harrington #steddie fics #my fics #bobbie writes #and my heart ran away from me

[sweetbillwriting]

Just You and I (Part 7)

Description: This is a fiction with an AU Bill Skarsgård inspired by the real actor in a fictional story. The girlfriend and the daughter is nameless characters.

Warnings: 18+, cheating, talk about religion and religious values, smut, toxic relationship.

Notes: This will be the last part, then it's just the epilogue left! Thanks to everyone that reads and especially to you that reblog 🤍

Ellen had a life that many would have dreamed of. She had money, a big apartment and a wardrobe full of designer clothes. She went to the hairstylist once a month and did hair nails every third week. She had so much to be grateful for but the one thing she was most grateful of was finding a friend as Tiana. All her life she had been with girls that lived similar lives as her own. They partied, dated rich guys and shopped at Schuterman’s high end fashion boutique when the new collections came out. Tiana gave her much more. She talked about politics and hip hop. She baked Persian pastries and dragged her to the theater to watch strange philosophic dramas. She made her life richer that's why she was quite upset when Tiana went to Gothenburg and after three weeks hadn't come home yet.

"Now we won’t see each other until next year!" Ellen said upset over the phone with Tiana.

Ellen was going to the Caribbean over Christmas and spend the new year with her family.

"Have you found anyone to celebrate with?"

Tiana was quiet. She sat in a café in Gothenburg watching the snow fall from the white sky. Her family didn't celebrate Christmas but she loved the tradition since she had celebrated with Ellen's family the year before.

"I actually got an invitation. From Eija."

"Bill's sister? Oh."

"Yeah… Because of our situation I feel weird about it."

She had only talked to Bill a couple times since she went to her parents but she couldn't give him any answers. Even if her family's values were different from her own, she loved them. It was hard to make a decision that would make them disappointed and would possibly even make them break contact with her.

"I wish I could help you in some way with all this but I guess you must just decide, him or your family. But I think you can be with him for Christmas? Decide then on how you feel about him? Maybe he’ll also give you a really expensive gift? Matching earrings to your necklace or something."

Tiana laughed.

"They don't do that whole Christmas gift thing. And that's a relief! Shit what would I give him when he gives diamonds? Naah… I would actually just be happy seeing him."

"And use his dick as a pacifier?"

Tiana sighed but laughed at her friend afterwards.

×××

Eija was at her youngest big brother's place to bake Christmas candy with him and his daughter. It was strange that he hadn't moved to something of his own but instead still lived with his daughter's mother. He had announced a few weeks ago that they had broken up but Eija wasn't so sure of that anymore. Bill had stayed with her and played house before even if he wasn't happy with her. So now that Tiana had more or less ran away he no longer felt he had a reason to break up with his long time girlfriend. Eija didn't really dare ask either, Bill could be tricky sometimes. Not that he got angry or even upset but you could feel that the air in the room changed when he didn't feel comfortable.

She sat at the kitchen island with the child and wrapped the candies Bill cut as squares. It was probably a slightly hard assignment for a little child but she did her best and then Eija redid her work. Bill sang along with the Christmas music with a jolly voice but Eija understood it was mostly to amuse his daughter and keep up the façade. In just a few weeks she could see that he had lost weight and he had that lost look in his eyes again. She had read online that Bill dropped out of his project because of a schedule conflict, to his family he said it was because of stress. She didn't know if it was stress but it probably became too much to keep up a Hollywood career and juggling his own projects while trying to fix his messy private life. Eija smiled at Bill, not because she was fooled by his smile but because she knew it was important for him to pretend everything was okay.

The jolly Christmas music was overpowered when the front door opened and the woman of the house came in with several heavy bags. She was wet with snow and laughed when big chunks of Snow dropped from her beanie and coat. She had taken off her winter outerwear when she came into the kitchen and said hello to them all and gave them each a hug. Eija looked at Bill while he interacted with the mother of his daughter. But she still couldn't figure out if they were together or not.

"Ehh… So I don't know, maybe I should say this since you're both here… I just don't know so I'm just going to say it. I've invited Tiana to Christmas and she said yes today." Eija said and looked between her brother and the woman next to him. Neither one of them smiled.

"And I know all three of you will be there this year and I don't want any of you to feel uncomfortable but Tiana is one of my best friends and I don't want her to be alone on Christmas…"

Bill nodded and Eija could see that he smiled a bit. But the woman next to him just looked down at the floor.

The air in the room was strange and Eija began to regret that she had told both of them. Maybe she should have just told Bill but she thought she possibly did him a favor when he didn't need to be the person to tell.

When she was alone with Bill in the kitchen she stepped close to him to talk so that no one else would overhear. She couldn't stop herself from asking now because the mood was already weird.

"How do you feel about Tiana coming for Christmas?"

Bill looked at his hands.

"...I don't know. I don't know what she wants with me and… I’m starting to give up, you know? She doesn't seem like she wants contact with me."

"I just think this is really hard for her… She is with her family right now so of course she can't see herself losing contact with them either."

Bill didn't say anything, just looked between his hands and the snow outside of the window.

"...But are you single?" Eija asked carefully.

"Yeah? We broke up when she found out about me and Tiana, you know that."

"But you live here?"

"It's just easier. And now… I have actually been stressed, I'm tired and I puke and… That series I started to produce, it’s been hard…"

"So you stayed here?"

Bill sighed.

"Yeah. It's not like we can just break up and that's it. We have a child together. And I'm really happy she agreed to celebrate Christmas with us even if we aren’t a couple. Otherwise I don't think I would get to celebrate Christmas with my little girl."

Eija looked at Bill's face. He looked tired and sad. She gave him a hug. It was so hard seeing him like this.

×××

This Christmas the Skarsgård would celebrate it at their mother's house in the Archipelago. There were always so many people and never the same people as the year before. Sometimes someone worked, another year they brought a friend. Sometimes their cousins came and sometimes a part of the family went away. Bill knew that his father, new wife and his smaller brother's were away. His oldest brother Alex was with his girlfriend's family and one of his mother's closest friends was coming. Still he couldn't really figure out how many they were. He was glad he didn't need to worry about that.

Everyone brought food. Bill brought ribs and two different kinds of herring he had made a few days ago. Even if there were some things that worried him about the Christmas festivity he looked forward to it a lot. He was with family, how bad could things get? He wore a deep green corduroy button up and black slacks and had a new haircut. It was shorter than he wanted so to fix it as best as possible he has just smoothed it to the side.

There were kids and dogs everywhere in the house but the chaos was calming for Bill. It was their chaos. His ex was also used to chaotic Christmases so she had never thought it was too much either. When he came into the living room he saw Valter sitting in an armchair with a beer. He stood up when he saw Bill and the two brothers embraced.

"Are we good? I'm really sorry…” said Valter when they hugged. Bill had been angry at Valter in the beginning but he got over it quite quickly. They’re brother's and Valter was drunk. Who cares? They are family and shit happens. Nothing would ever come between them and he knew that Valter was really sorry.

"We're cool. But don't do it again. Okay?" Bill looked Valter straight in the eyes.

"Of course. Sure. Of course. I love you, man." Valter said sincerely.

"I love you too. You fucking asshole."

They both smirked and sat down in the two armchairs by the window in the living room.

"She's coming today right?" Valter said and looked at his older brother.

"Yeah. We haven't talked much… So I don't think she wants… to continue." Bill said without looking at Valter.

At the same time Tiana had just arrived at My Skarsgård's residence and was invited in by the hostess herself. They had never met but they knew oh so well who the other was. My was so soft and friendly that Tiana could feel herself calm down a bit but My wasn't the person she was most worried about meeting. After having taken off her outerwear, My took her to the kitchen where Eija was. She probably knew Tiana needed some emotional support. It was just Eija there and some kids. After having talked a while with Eija and her mother about just simple things Eija gave Tiana a more serious look.

"Bill and Valter are in the living room. Do you want to meet them?"

Tiana could feel her heart start to beat harder. She looked down at her dress. She was dressed in a black puffy dress, probably the prettiest dress she'd ever owned.

"Okay…" she said and took a deep breath. Bill's mother gave her a comforting smile.

Tiana walked behind Eija to the living room. She was so nervous meeting Bill again. She had missed him so much but was also afraid that he had given up on her. They hadn't seen each other in a month. She adjusted the velvety bow she had in her hair and then went in through the door to the living room.

Bill looked at Eija when she came in through the door. She smiled at him and nodded her head back, motioning Bill to look behind her automatically. His heart began to beat faster when he saw the short girl behind Eija. He stood up a bit clumsy and wiped his now sweaty hands on his pants.

Tiana looked at Bill's face. It looked like he had lost weight but his smile was as handsome as always. Bill walked towards her and then gave her a hug.

"Oh god… Fuck I missed you…” He whispered at the same time. Tiana let her hands wander, she touched his hair, shoulder, back, arms and face. "I'm so sorry Bill… I missed you so…" Her voice was shaky.

He put his forehead against hers and breathed her in.

"It's okay… Everything is okay…" he let her go after a while. He didn't care if some of his family members and relatives looked at them but he wanted to talk about things that no one else needed to hear.

"Can we go upstairs and talk a bit?"

Tiana nodded and together they climbed the stairs. On their way up she saw his ex together with Gustaf's girlfriend set the table.

They went into a small bedroom and Bill sat down on the bed. Tiana closed the door and when they finally were alone she straddled his lap and kissed him. They couldn't really stop after that. They had missed each other so much and their bodies craved more than they could get. After many kisses took Bill hold of Tiana's waist and looked at her face. He smiled and she couldn't do anything else than smile back.

"I thought you didn't want to see me anymore…" Bill said and she could see the worry in his eyes.

"I do. I do. I love you, Bill. So so much. But it's so hard to know what to do…"

He nodded.

"You are really pretty today. I'm so happy you came even if my ex is here, even if Valter is here."

"I was mostly nervous to meet you. I thought you maybe would be angry at me," she played with the buttons on his shirt.

"No, did you really think that?"

Tiana shrugged her shoulders but then kissed him again. Everything would be fine, as long as Bill was not angry at her.

Downstairs everything was nearly set for the big Christmas dinner. As usual they were late so they would miss Kalle on TV but for them it was more or less a tradition to miss it. Valter stood by the stairs when Bill and Tiana came down. He could feel the butterflies in his stomach but knew that he must tame them. She was Bill's girl.

"Hey Tiana…" he said carefully. "I'm happy to see you here."

Tiana smiled and gave Valter a hug. She didn't want him to be uncomfortable and especially not when she was the outsider. This was his family.

Bill stood next to them. It was nice that they could be friends. After all, Bill hoped Tiana would be a part of their family. Now there was just one more person left she must get along with.

They talked a while with Valter but also Sam and an uncle of Bill's. There were so many people in the home it was hard to get a grip of just how many there were but they all were so nice and Tiana felt herself relax by Bill's side. Bill caught his daughter when she ran past them and lifted her up in his arms.

"Do you remember Tiana?" He asked and his daughter smiled shyly.

"You run so fast we can barely see you," said Tiana and patted the little girl's arm. She continued to smile and play with the golden bracelet her father had around his wrist. While they talked another person joined the circle when Tiana looked at Valter's left and she saw Bill's ex. She said something low to Valter but then watched her daughter in Bill's arms.

Tiana got more and more nervous. Should she say something? Should she introduce herself? And say what "I’m the girl that fucked your boyfriend"? Right when she began to spiral she met Bill's eyes and he saw her worry and looked around.

"Oh, ehh…" he put his daughter down.

"She is just running around everywhere. As usual she makes her cousins as crazy as her." He said and looked between Tiana and his ex. When he had got them to listen to him he introduced them to each other. He just said their first names and looked between them while they shook each other's hand. Even if he established that there wasn’t anything between him and his ex anymore, he had been a little nervous for this moment. It must be weird for his ex and he didn't blame her if she felt uncomfortable.

Bill looked between Tiana and his ex while they spoke about the children. This must have been hard for them both but they both made an effort for his sake. He didn't really know what he had done to deserve that.

Christmas Eve was everything Bill could have asked for. He was grateful for the warm welcome Tiana got and especially that his ex respected her. He could see that she didn't like to see him and Tiana too close so he left an appropriate amount of air between them. After having eaten way too much, played some silly games and the kids had gotten too many Christmas gifts it was time to go home. Bill had kept sober to be able to drive but before doing that he needed to talk with his ex. He motioned for her to come to the hallway so they could speak privately. Tiana sat on the floor with Valter and Bill's daughter and tried to figure out how to play one of the games the girl had received.

Bill sat down on the stairs and made space for his ex next to him. She sat down but he noticed an insecurity.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Mm, yeah. A different Christmas, that's all."

"Yeah. I guess so. Thank you. For handling it so great."

She looked up at Bill. He would always be important to her, they were linked for life.

"It is hard. But I guess this is the best."

Bill nodded and played with his bracelet. He had two things to ask but it was hard to say them because she had already done so much for him. He took a deep breath.

"...It's time to go home soon… Is it okay that Tiana goes with us?"

She looked around and sighed.

"Bill… Please." She sighed again. "You will stay the night with her, right?"

Bill was quiet but nodded a bit.

"Can we just take the trip home alone then? I get that you want to be with her but please, can I just get a break from seeing you two together?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure." He smiled a bit. Even if it would be hard for him to say to Tiana that she couldn't go with him he could see that it was more than fair. When he had stood up his ex hugged him hard. The hug was a bit too intimate but he let it be this time. It was quite special circumstances.

"Honey," all three of them were deep in the game and Tiana and Valter acted like they weren't much older than the five year old sitting between them but they snapped out of it when they heard her mother call from the doorway. She looked up at her mother like she knew what she wanted but didn’t listen.

"We must go home now, it's late." She said to her daughter. Bill stepped into the living room and looked at his daughter amused when Tiana and Valter also looked disappointed that the game was over.

When the mother and child had walked out to the hallway with wild protests from the child Bill sat down on the armrest to the chair Tiana sat in.

"You can't go with us… She wanted some alone time and I guess that's fair…" he said carefully and played with a piece of her hair.

"I talked to Gustaf and you can go with them? Eija and Valter are staying here…"

Tiana smiled a bit.

"It's okay, Bill. I get it. But do you want to come over tonight?"

Bill was just going to answer but Valter interrupted.

"Otherwise you can stay here? My bed here is quite big." He joked and smirked to his brother. Tiana laughed while Bill gave him a deadpan stare.

"You're such an asshole. You know that right?" Bill joked but with the same cold stare. Valter just smirked and leaned back in his chair.

"Just seems like I have more to offer her than you have."

Tiana smiled and shook her head but then searched after Bill's eyes. She took his wide palm in her hand.

"I’ll go with Gustaf. Then can you come to my place?"

Bill smiled and kissed her lips softly.

"Yeah, I'm coming when the little one is sleeping."

×××

"I'm going now," Bill stood by the front door with his winter outerwear on. His ex came out to the hallway, he had expected her to just call out a goodbye but instead she came out and leaned at the wall. She was dressed in a black silky pajama and had a big glass of red wine in her hand.

"Can I just ask you one thing?"

Bill shrugged his shoulders. He hoped it wouldn't take too long because it was beginning to get hot while standing in his puffer jacket inside.

"If you hadn't met her… Would you have stayed with me then?"

Bill looked down at the floor but then looked at his ex straight in the eyes.

"I probably would. But for all the wrong reasons. This has been over for me for a long time. I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly and took a sip of her wine.

"...Bye then. We’re going to mom and dad’s at twelve so come home before that if you want to say goodbye before we go.”

Bill nodded then he walked out from the apartment, down the stairs and out into the cold. He took a deep breath before starting to walk with long strides to Tiana.

×××

Tiana was almost nervous to have Bill at her place again. They hadn't had sex since Paris and she wasn't even sure if it was what Bill wanted. Maybe he just wanted to talk? She stood in front of the mirror dressed in a red lingerie set which she threw her cream kimono over. What if he came to just talk and she opens the door almost naked? It would end badly.

When she heard the doorbell ring she did a last check in the mirror, looking through her apartment so everything looked nice and tidy.

Tiana opened the door for Bill who walked in without an invitation, zipped up his jacket but then he froze to look at Tiana. She hadn't closed the robe enough so he could see the red lace peeking through.

"Wow, I'm underdressed I think." He looked down at his black sweatpants and beige hoodie. She looked down at herself and saw the red peaking through.

"I'm just going to take my shoes off then I can unwrap you… And make you just as underdressed," he wiggled his brows and continued to take off his jacket and shoes.

Tiana just stood and looked at him. He was so pretty, so tall but also had such a warm charisma. Her dream man. When he was done undressing she couldn't stop herself from hugging him, around his waist like a little child. Bill laughed a little but hugged back. He smelled like his fresh cologne but under it she could smell his own scent, musky and warm. She continued to search after more of his scent, more of him. She pressed her nose on the side of his neck and also felt the prickled hair, sharp after a close shave. Tiana kissed the skin, dragged her tongue over the smooth skin and sucked on his sensitive spot. She could hear from the sounds coming from Bill that he liked it. Bill unwrapped her robe and pushed it away from her shoulders. Because of Tiana's position he couldn't see much of her so he used his hands to feel her back, waist, hips and ass. The lingerie didn't cover much for his wandering hands.

Tiana needed more and snuck her hand under Bill's hoodie to touch his muscular back and then snuck around to the front of him and dragged her fingertips down his stomach, through the hairs leading to his groin. Bill's breathing had become heavy in her ear and she took a step back to look at him. His eyes were dark of arousal, his lips wet and parted. He used her little break to take off his hoodie and then push down his sweatpants but then Tiana couldn't help herself from destroying the mood. She looked at his boxer and giggled. They were dark green with small candy canes. Bill smirked. "I have a cane for you inside them too…" he said and palmed his erection. Tiana played with the elastic.

"Does it taste as good?" She kissed his lips.

"I don't know, I haven't tried but… I think you should try…" he looked at her with such focus he almost looked squint-eyed. Tiana giggled and kissed his lips. Bill continued it while he kicked off his sweats and carried her to the bedroom.

They finally were together again. It was just them and she finally had him between her legs. How much hadn't she imagined this very scene? His plump lips sucking her clit, his wet tongue licking her sinfully and the hooded eyes looking up at her evil and devil-like. They were close all night, first by sex but then after they lied in Tiana's bed eating Christmas candy and drinking from the bottle of whiskey Bill had left behind. They talked about everything until there were no subjects left than the ones they didn't really dare to touch.

"...So what now? What will happen now," Bill asked.

"I don't know… I have to come up with a way to talk with my parents… But what about you, how did you and… your ex solve everything?” Tiana changed the subject so she could avoid that subject.

"Oh, yeah we will have shared custody and… Well she got 10% of my company."

Tiana sat up and looked at him.

"What?"

"It's really my daughter's, it will go to her when she's eighteen. But this is just a way for it to be a bit more fair… She must take care of her when I work and… Well I may owe her that? She has missed things because she has taken care of our daughter."

Tiana furrowed her brows. She didn't really think so but it was his company, his money.

"And she will still be one of the leads in that series I'm working on."

Tiana shook her head and laid down again.

"Say what you're thinking," Bill said and looked at her.

"I just think it's weird how you must give her work. That's not your responsibility. I get that she’s the mother of your child but would she have done so much more without the child? You are her career and you know it too."

Bill scratched his chest and sighed.

"I know it looks like that and in some way it is true. She has used me. But I guess I let her and now I have promised her things that I want to keep. We loved each other once…"

Tiana kissed Bill's lips.

"I will never treat you like that, ever. I just want this," she touched his chest. "And this," she dragged her finger along the underside of cock. Bill smirked. "You own them both."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah,” he took her face in his hands and kissed her hard.

×××

Bill lied awake after Tiana had fallen asleep. He watched her sleep peacefully by his side. It was calming to see her like that and he could feel his chest almost flood over with love. The last month had been hard without her but he didn't blame her for taking a break from it all. It was probably for the best so that people could find something else to gossip about. But now he didn't want to be without her again. He was single now, ready for a new life with her but now it wasn't his life that was messing things up but hers. She came from a Muslim family, with Muslim values and Bill could also see that he didn't fit in to that life. Tiana had told him that her older brother wasn't impressed by him at all and thought he should take his responsibility as a father. Bill hoped he did that even if he wasn't with the mother of the child. He wondered what more he could do to make them accept him as Tiana's boyfriend. He took his phone and started to google and finally he found an answer;

"Convert to Islam."

×

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #writing #fan fiction #story

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requests | closed to complete current requests <3

last updated | aug 5th, 2021

do not repost my work anywhere !! respect this please. | fics are not ordered in any particular way. these headers are mine so pls don’t use/take them

tom holland

insomnia - reader can’t get to sleep; tom finds out why

driving in the rain - fluffy dinner date and rainy drive back home

workouts and warmth - when all tom wants is some after-workout cuddles

from across the living room - announcing your engagement to your families

the one - you want to move out and get your own place as a couple, but tom doesn’t. nikki talks to him. 

anything for the twins - tom massages reader’s boobies during her period

moms, makeouts, and mishaps - nikki walks in during your makeout sesh

simple acts of intimacy - a fluffy 3.1k words worth of blurbs

silver surprises - the reader surprises tom at a premiere

twenty questions - questions ensue after tom & reader get stuck in an elevator

my gut - spinoff of twenty questions with claustrophobic!reader (tw/ anxiety + attacks)

stealth mode - tom & reader scaring each other

unicorns vs pegasuses - tom shuts the reader up by kissing them

a good story - tom meets reader at a meet & greet — friendships blossom to lovers

deal breaker - tom wants kids, but the reader does not

his lap - reader asks for help in overcoming an insecurity; tom misreads the situation

pool day - pool day w/ tom + the boys

hot - the reader picks a certain song that reminds her of tom - the boys go wild

grounded by rocks - tom talks about you in an interview for cherry

your hands - when all he wants is a simple head massage

late flights - in which tom takes too much time with the fans

nobody wanted to - where only one person makes it out alive

way more than 50 - the hollands trick the reader into thinking they did something they weren’t supposed to 

why [ pt ii ] - sweet cupcakes, and a not so sweet breakup

what looks suspicious - nikki doesn’t exactly approve of tom dating the reader

something sweet - reader drops off small gifts while tom’s on set

he remembers - when tom finds the letter

missed you - reuniting w/tom after four long months

soft gangsta - tom tries to dress edgy; the reader is unconvinced

the shoe game - reader & tom play the shoe game at their wedding

too much - when the reader has a rough time with work, tom comforts them

losing grip [ pt ii ] - a losing battle between the reader and a hereditary disease causes heartbreak

your captain america - protective!tom holland of young reader (age gap)

sexy genius - reader is a fan of (and meets) jake gyllenhaal

teddy bear cuddles - tom wears an oversized hoodie

nonsense - the boys think the reader is meddling with tom’s work

circles before yourself - rule #2 - osterfield!reader gets caught with tom

seventeen times - when the reader is having a hard time in lock down, tom tries to help (TW // depression)

pixie dust hair - tom assures insecure!reader that the pixie haircut looks good <3

a few more months - reader passes out during a run; tw // excessive exercising

tiktok au’s

body ody ody - tom gets a little jealous over a few social media comments 

sweats in the supermarket - getting tom hard when he wears sweats

put your records on - trying not to kiss each other first

mood killer - saying dirty things into tom’s ear

say it back - pranking tom by not saying ily back to him

two different ways - tom choking the reader to get two different reactions 

brutal - doing the “did you mean to post this?” trend on tom 

worst thirty minutes of my life - playing a drinking game with tom to see who gives into cuddles first

my girl’s cuddles - crawling into tom’s lap 

even - buying hot leggings & taping tom’s reaction 

goofball - a silly way to reveal reader’s pregnancy to tom 

end the debate - “i found out why my boobs are small” trend

slam the car door - doing the car door prank on tom 

water bottle wars - the boys ask you and tom questions about each other. wrong answers result in sprayed water 

get you back real good - you & the boys prank tom after watching a scary movie 

peachy - sighing / moaning in front of tom playing video games to get his reaction

my princess - tom does a tiktok where he guesses all your answers to everyday questions

dad!tom

needles and needs - when scarlet has to get shots, you realize she may not be the only one that needs comforting

all my girls - scarlet meets her baby sister for the first time (dad!tom)

everything i love about u - tom is afraid baby red might hate him for leaving home too much

a little extra help - stepdad!tom being the best dad to your daughter

through the tears - pregnant!reader goes into labour, and baby holland meets the family

first feed - tom watches you breastfeed for the first time

warmth from the love - baby holland’s first Christmas

first words - baby holland speaks for the first time

breaking the internet - when your pregnancy announcement crashes multiple apps/websites (pregnant!reader)

breaking the internet... again - when baby holland breaks the internet

boyfriends and brunch - when jade brings home her boyfriend (aged!up)

big sister + how are babies made - telling scarlet about the baby on the way (pregnant!reader)

too many kids - the reader’s dad has some commentary about the twins

mumma’s girl - tom gets jealous when scarlet isn’t a daddy’s girl

angels - a little skin to skin time with his best girl

family man - after a nasty breakup, tom finds out you had his child

cheesy uncles - telling paddy he’s going to be an uncle

ag!reader (more to come !!)

y’all really get nasty - tom and the fans discuss ag!reader’s songs

my favorite things - ag!reader performs in front of the mcu cast at the grammy’s

34 + 35 - the boys react to reader’s new song(s)

34 + 35 remix - the boys reacting to the remix

his remedy - the boys react to positions deluxe

neglected - AG!reader breaks up w tom because of their job; tom searches for answers

low-key wants him - reader talks about how much nonna (+ her fam) loves tom

see u soon - reader interacts with tom while on stage for the swt

a few spilled secrets - AG!reader performs on jimmy fallon’s show.. tom and her confess a few secrets

for the first time - when the reader breaks down crying while singing about her ex, tom is there to comfort her

dance with me, rain on me - reader has a hard time on set, tom to the rescue

every tomorrow - the first album release night after your breakup

here we go again - introducing tom (+ the boys) to your celebrity friends

condoms or safety nets - the boys react to AG!reader’s song “safety net”

we’re not engaged - AG!reader announcing to the world why they no longer have a fiance... (fluffy)

the late late show - AG!reader & tom do spill your guts or fill your guts

pain from pleasure - dad!tom goes through a birth simulator — controlled by the reader

never have i ever - tom & the reader play a game on the late late show

fluffy hair - ag!reader has a zoom interview with zach sang. tom makes an appearance

fighting off the haters - ag!reader and older!tom holland (age gap) attend an award show after going public

run your hands thru my hair - tom reacts to ag!reader’s song “my hair”

stick to acting - tom tries to make a beat for ag!reader

practically twins - reader meets sebastian & anthony at comic con

damn lucky - black!reader wears her hair naturally during an interview

what a piece - reader talks about tom related songs & tattoos

flip it - tom talks about reader in an interview

at the door - older!reader & tom fight off haters

a headcannon of ag!reader being a marvel cast member

a headcannon of tom & the reader attending the avengers endgame premiere

styles!reader (more to come !!)

bathroom kisses - makeout sessions with tom and styles!reader in the bathroom

yeah, he is - tom holland x styles!reader meet the styles family; protective older brother harry makes an appearance

unparalleled love - older brother harry styles makes a speech at reader’s wedding

grilled - date night for tom & styles!reader is a bit difficult with two kids; older brother!harry to the rescue

baby showers and brothers - dad!tom & styles!reader are going to be parents

potential boyfriend - tom has a crush on the reader when they first meet

ts!reader (more to come!!)

trust me - tom & the reader defend her after nikki doesn’t approve

your london boy - tom & co. + the world reacts to “london boy”

boy of my dreams - tom being proud of the reader for winning a grammy

rapper!tom

tom records your sounds during sex for his music (hc)

tom talks about you in an interview

concepts: one , two , three

professor!tom

my pretty girl - tom gets jealous when reader gets many valentines

other reader tropes

cherry - reader is a screenwriter for tom’s upcoming movie

no shouting - singer!reader needs some help after paparazzis are too much (based on a video of tom)

pregnancy belly - actress!reader has to wear a pregnancy belly for her role, and the boys tease tom about when it’ll be real

we march - actress!reader being a huge feminist

passions & pediatricians - pediatrician-to-be!reader meets tom

politics - reader’s granpa is joe biden (requested) and tom meets him

extra support - psychiatrist!reader helps tom on the set of cherry

you made it big - tom holland x actress!reader at the after party

partition - the boys react to famous!reader singing partition

senorita - singer!reader makes a music video with shawn, who’s tom’s new best friend

miniseries 

boomerang: one , two , three , four [completed]

peter parker

making amends

➢ enemies to lovers ; college!peter x super soldier!reader ; 30k words ; sorta slow burn

cheeky guy, favorite thighs - college!peter doing a tik tok challenge — between the reader’s thighs [tik tok au]

a little nicer - doing the prank on peter (”you could’ve been a little nicer to me today”)

start searching - first make out sessions with our best boy :)

hidden hickeys - the avengers think innocence of peter, until they’re proven wrong

the team - part two of hidden hickeys; reader meets the avengers

all of you - late night talks about your future with peter :’)

like you wouldn’t believe - reader tells mj about her & peter’s awesome sex

slip from my hands - roommate!peter comforts the reader after a nightmare

i’d wait for her - college!peter parker needs to come to terms with you and your boyfriend

shut up and kiss me - soft make out sessions with peter :)

all the good things in the world, and i get you - insecure!reader needs a little reassuring 

modern chivalry - peter being a gentleman on the subway

eggnog and mistletoe - peter helps you love the holidays

the force awakens? it sleeps - a little extra comfort & care from our favorite baby boyfriend 

a prince - wonder woman!reader meets spider-man (& avengers) in a mission

steve rogers fics - peter finds you reading fanfiction abt steve rogers

fanboy!peter

fanboys and bracelets - fanboy!peter parker goes to famous!singer!reader’s meet and greet

fanboys and phone numbers - fanboy!peter parker continuation 

showing around - fanboy!peter gets VIP access; some dancing ensues

stark!reader + avengers!reader

if you knew feelings - the avengers want you & peter to break up

sleeping - peter misinterprets a few important questions

the may to your ben - college!best friend!peter parker x stark!reader fluff

race ya - peter confesses his feelings for rogers!reader after a mission — on comms

frat bathrooms - stark!reader joins the avengers where she sees college!peter, the boy she slept with at a frat party

rainy days - reader doesn’t like rainy days, a certain wall-climber changes their mind

already got her - jealous!peter makes a public confession

flustered!peter

a nervous one - flustered!peter parker sees cheerleader!reader in her uniform

one day soon - flustered!peter parker x affectionate!reader

all better - flustered!peter parker does some lab flirting with reader

dad!peter + pregnant!reader

unplanned  [ part ii ] - reader gets pregnant... breaks up with peter to avoid it all

burrito wraps - reader worries that baby parker might be cold

a name to remember - latine!reader & peter give their girl a special name

you’re magic - a certain wall crawler hears two heartbeats

sgt. bucky barnes

first cuddles - bucky asks to cuddle for the first time

harry holland

golden light, the love of my life - the boys tease harry —on a live video— for being whipped

it won’t f^cking open - harry lends a helping hand

how much i - those three magical words are exchanged for the first time

cuddly koala moments - time the reader just needed harry’s warmth

anything for hands - the reader cuts harry’s hair on instagram live

your other best friend - the reader is sam’s new friend, but harry thinks they like tom instead

you’re my anchor - harry has an anxiety attack, but the reader knows what to do

what’s his [ pt ii ] - when everything thinks the reader should date tom instead, harry snaps

whipped fries - harry brags about the reader winning the pub quiz for them

tell me, show me - the reader makes harry flustered by playing w/the strings from his sweatpants

keep your cool - tom setting u up with his brother // nikki being wary

ag!reader

you’re such a dream to me — ag!reader writes r.e.m. about harry

harry styles

intoxicating - soft bubbles baths with long haired!harry 

frayed braids - reader braids long haired!harry’s hair

others:

harrison osterfield

not anymore - when harrison comes back from filming, he’s determed to win the reader’s heart

irreversible - when relationships fall apart, people fall apart. (infidelity)

circles before yourselves - rule #1  - harrison x osterfield!reader (sister) when brothers talk, bad things begin

think of her - harrison asks your family for their blessing [holland!sister]

steve harrington

together not never - steve discovers the reader is pregnant

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker x reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #peter parker x you #peter parker fluff #tom holland fluff #peter parker angst #tom holland angst #peter parker imagine #tom holland oneshot #peter parker blurb #tom holland hc #peter parker x reader insert #tom holland fic #peter parker fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x fem!reader #dad!peter parker #college!peter parker #tom holland x singer!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x artist!reader #harry styles x reader #steve harrington #hary holland x reader #harry styles fic

[pillow-anime-talk]

his talented baby. {pt.1}

synopsis: You as a person with a huge (and hidden) talent, and also a girl who really surprises your boyfriend.

# tags: scenarios; current relationships; romance; fluff; some PDA; sfw

includes: female reader ft. ken kaneki & nishiki nishio {tokyo ghoul} + yuuma isogai & itona horibe {assclass}

— KEN (ft. singing)

Your closest friends invited you to a popular karaoke bar on one Friday night to celebrate a successfully passed semester in college. Of course, you couldn’t forget about your lovely boyfriend, who was at the same university, but in a different field (i.e. Japanese literature) and always supported you with all his might, knowing how much you want to do your dream job in the future.

So you went to the meeting together, and on the way to the designated place you talked all the time about what the next year of study would bring you. As soon as you reached the room where your three closest besties and one male friend were waiting for you, you both greeted them warmly, immediately taking off your thick coats and taking your seats on a soft, leather couch next to a table filled with tasty-looking snacks and colorful drinks.

Long minutes of conversations between the six of you resulted in drunk plenty of alcohol and blushes on the faces. After drinking, you always got more talkative and more self-confident, so you suggested using the TV and the karaoke machine. Of course, you first offered your friends and Ken to sing something, but they all declined, saying that you should start as an initiator. One of the girls, blonde-haired Minami, smiled at you with a sparkle in her pretty golden eyes, adding that you are the best in this and you should show how to do it correctly. You chuckled in response, waving your hand at her to dismiss compliment.

Kaneki, on the other hand, frowned as he looked at the boy who was sitting on his right.

“... Oh, you don’t know? Y/N-san hasn’t yet praised herself to you that she has a wonderful voice? Huh, huh.” The black-haired boy shook his head, reaching for the glass filled with blue something again. “Hmmm, well. Normally Y/N’s very shy, but she always sings at trips when she’s drunk.” He chuckled while you picked one of your favorite songs in the meantime. So everyone looked at your standing figure, then heard the characteristic sounds from one of Selena Gomez’s songs coming from the gray speakers.

“My dear, I dedicate it to you~!” You looked with joy on your face towards the eighteen-year-old, giving him a quick wink, and then you started your little performance with ‘Love you like a love song’ from the above-mentioned artist.

Your friends didn’t seem surprised and instead started clapping to the beat of the music... but Ken’s eyes widened and he spat out his high-percentage drink, not knowing how to react to the fact that for nine, long months of your relationship, you concealed the fact that you could sing so well and so beautifully. Your voice was perfect for the song that was playing now, and you seemed to be having a great time – there was a huge smile on your lips, your eyelids were slightly closed and your hand was over your heart. If it weren’t for the fact that you were at a karaoke bar, everyone would definitely think you are playing a concert on the biggest stage in Tokyo city.

After the song was over, another girl got up to present a completely different choice, and you handed her the dark microphone, bowing in the process.

Kaneki still seemed speechless and as soon as you sat down next to him, he immediately kissed you on the warm forehead, asking you to sing more to him, especially when you two are going to be alone, because he probably fell in love with you once again and just wanted to experience that love every day thereafter.

— NISHIKI (ft. ballet)

Nishiki, as a pharmacy student, didn’t have much time for extra-curricular activities or unnecessary meetings; in addition, the fact that he was a bloodthirsty ghoul and had to watch over himself made it difficult for him to function normally in the life of Kamii University. However, the brown-haired man always found time for you, for his beloved girlfriend.

You had been dating for over three, long years, and the man definitely couldn’t imagine his own life without you by his side. You knew each other better than anyone else in this world, but sometimes some tiny things of your ordinary day eluded Nishio; of course you understood it perfectly and you weren’t angry or disappointed with him. After all, he had to protect himself, you, take care of his specific menu, be vigilant at every step, and additionally he had to pretend to be the perfect student, senpai (or kouhai) and friend of other people.

So you weren’t surprised when one day you handed him a silverish ticket for probably the most important show of your life and he just looked at you in wonderment. At the beginning, the twenty-year-old asked if it was a performance related to singing or playing an instrument due to the fact that the colorful paper didn’t tell him too much, but you just smirked as you tweaked the unruly, soft hair on his head.

“Hmm. If you don’t remember what I do in my free time, it’s even better, I guess. Come and see it for yourself, honey. I think that thanks to this you will even calm down a little and rest due to the recent weeks.” You announced in a light tone of voice, and the young man sighed under his breath.

“So... I’ll find out in three days, am I right?” He made sure by correcting his glasses and you nodded, then grabbing his rough hand and kissing his cool cheek. A short while later you suggested going to your apartment and catching up on a few episodes of your favorite series that you started quite recently.

The anticipation of your important day passed very quickly and on Saturday, at 6 p.m., when everyone took their seats (with your boyfriend sitting on one of the balconies with the best view of the stage), delicate music was played in the theater, which made everyone shiver on the whole body. Until then, the brown-eyed boy somewhere in the back of his head had the impression that it was a theater performance or an opera, but when he saw your person appear on stage in a beautifully tailored dress and ballet shoes, all the questions that flickered in his mind disappeared in literally one second.

‘Well, yeah. I remember now. She always told me about ballet classes and new shoes.’ A huge, proud smirk came on his pale face and you glanced out of the corner of your eye towards his VIP seat.

Though your expression was cold and composed, you felt an enormous heat in your small heart as the man waved at you, showing two thumbs up. His lips moved even slightly, and although Nishiki tried to hide it, you knew perfectly well that the pink blush and mute ‘I love you’ was sincere and even better than being able to play Odetta, the White Swan, in a ballet spectacle.

— YUUMA (ft. songwriting and guitar playing)

Christmas at school was never what you enjoyed; maybe due to the fact that before, your classmates on main campus were quite specific and you definitely didn’t fit with their strange ‘ideals’. It was only in the class E that you felt that you could find real friends or people who would share your ideas.

But, hmm. Still, you seemed to stand out from the rest of the girls in the class who had more... down-to-earth hobbies or characters than you; Okuda liked chemistry and was really excellent at it, Kirara loved reading, Rio was the best at English and had a great sense of fashion, and Toka was pretty good at cooking. Contrary to them, you preferred to... do more ‘intimate’ things. Writing short poems filled your heart with peace and prevented you from being as critical of yourself as usual. And when you wrote the lyrics of the songs, made notes or melodies to them and sang quietly, you could feel like a real artist that everyone wanted to admire and imitate.

Therefore, when your first and last class holidays with the rest of the 3-E students were fast approaching, Koro-sensei was the one who asked you for a short talk. You weren’t sure what this was about, but moments later your uncertainties were dispelled.

“Y/N-san, I think you mistook your notebooks today and instead of giving me your homework, you gave to me... this.” He said in his as always happy voice, and seeing the black notebook in which you always wrote songs and notes, you blushed all over your face, apologizing profusely for the mistake. “Huh? But this is no mistake, my dear. If it weren’t for this, I would never even think that we have such a talented soul in Class 3-E. So would you like to perform in front of the rest of the students and teachers during the holidays?” The easy question made you widen your eyes and sighed.

“I-I’ve never played in front of anyone, so...” You admitted shyly, and the tall, yellow octopus just chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure they will love it. We can practice together.”

Well, you couldn’t refuse (especially when Koro-sensei offered to bring your favorite, foreign snacks...) and on class Christmas day you showed up with your acoustic guitar and a notebook full of chords and songs. Everyone was surprised and curious at how well you play guitar. After all, you’ve never even mentioned that you can play any instrument before. On the other hand, the class representative, and your boyfriend at the same time, immediately came up to you, asking if you were really okay; better than anyone else, Isogai knew that you didn’t like too much attention and big crowds. But you reassured him it was okay and promised your teacher you would do it, so you smiled at him and then took your seat under the blackboard with a wooden guitar on your lap.

The song you chose for the day was a song you wrote quite recently. It had a little bit of magic, and at the same moment it seemed very romantic and delicate. Even Karma seemed delighted with your beautiful play and soft voice that echoed from time to time between the walls of huge classroom.

At the end of the song, you decided to raise your gaze and simultaneously look at your all friends, three teachers and other half; everyone was really happy and positively speechless. So you gave Yuuma a slight wink, making him blush sweetly.

The young teenager definitely hoped you would show him more of your songs someday, not necessarily the happy Christmas carols Kaede and Ritsu asked for.

— ITONA (ft. dancing)

“... You never mentioned that you can dance.” He admitted softly, and you squeezed his smooth hand tighter.

“So... I mention it right now. It’s not a big deal, baby. I just ... like it and enjoy it a lot.” You giggled as you correcting the black sports bag over your shoulder, then opened the heavy door to the training room, immediately jumping up at the sound of loud squeals and greetings from your closest friends. “Guys, this is Itona Horibe, my boyfriend that I told to you before! Love, it’s Aki-chan, Yui-chan, Kazuya-kun, Saburo-kun, and our cameraman and editor Ryuu senpai. Most often, the five of us cooperate with each other when it comes to dance in groups of five people. And... today we are going to cover a song so I hope you’ll like it. I’ll go change and you all, please, don’t scare my boyfriend and give him something to drink!”

As a group leader, you often came up with choreographies and warm-ups for yourself and others. So, it couldn’t be otherwise this time. For the last week and a half you have been practicing the choreo you came up with and today you were supposed to record material for the video on your quite popular YouTube account. You were extremely excited, not only with the new content, but most of all with the fact that your beloved one would be able to watch it live and evaluate your skills that have been refined over the years. So as soon as you got back to the teens waiting for you, you kissed the light-blue-haired quickly on the right cheek and told him that he could sit against the wall, close to the table full of snacks and the contact for charging the phone.

Then you talked with everyone for a while, doing a short warm-up and reminding the cameraman about how to move the cam. A few short minutes later, you lined up in the middle of a huge white room with Ryuu in front of you. You knelt down in the center, of course, gently moving your shoulders to calm your rapidly pounding heart and heavy breathing, and when a song by Ariana Grande started playing all over the bright room, you all looked at the already activated camera, shaking your heads and then you got up from the wooden floor.

Itona... was speechless. He has never seen people dancing before, he has never even been interested in others, only you and what you like. Today he got to know your little passion, which turned out to be a breathtaking talent, and the boy wondered if you could do anything else; are you good at one specific dance genre or are you able to move your body in a completely different rhythm than he currently saw?

From Koro-sensei’s history lessons, when you two were in junior high, the eighteen-year-old remembered perfectly well that there is also classical dance, tango and breakdance. So could you also do that? He had to ask you about it later.

But now his curious gaze was focused on you and your huge, radiant smile, and the sound of feet hitting the ground. He also looked at your legs, tiny hands, stomach, and hair, while he wondered if he might learn to dance too, to be even closer to you and your hobby. After all, you looked so beautiful and so joyful... He wanted to share these emotions.

#— 🍁 #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul scenarios #tokyo ghoul x reader #kaneki ken #kaneki ken scenarios #kaneki ken x reader #nishio nishiki #nishio nishiki scenarios #nishio nishiki x reader #assassination classroom #assassination classroom scenarios #assassination classroom x reader #itona horibe #itona horibe scenarios #itona horibe x reader #yuuma isogai #yuuma isogai scenarios #yuuma isogai x reader

[pradaksj]

ghostin || part 2 (finale). (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶  ❝Though I wish he were here instead. Don't want that living in your head, he just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then. ❞

❧ pairing⟶ seokjin/reader

❧ genre⟶  angst, angst, and angst … did i say angst? + a bit of fluff? friends to lovers.

❧ word count ⟶ 18,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ major character death! sad ending. descriptions of grieving process.

❧ part of the  ⟶ thank u, next series

part 1 || part 2 (final)

“H-He did the right thing,” Jimin stutters, and you were sure he hardly even believed what was coming out of his own mouth,“What he did was selfless,”he declares.

“No he broke my grandma’s heart!” Jia scowls at Jimin, “What a jerk…” she huffs, having been fully engrossed in your story.

“No he’s right,” you say, shocking Jia, “It was an act of complete selflessness and in a sense, I applaud him for being able to do it because God knows I wouldn’t have been able to,” you sigh, “But ask yourself Jimin, in a week from now would you regret it?”

He looks as if he’s about to nod his no, until you add to your question, “How about a year? Maybe two? What about three? Just how sure are you about it?”

He remains silent.

“Tell you what Jimin,” you pause, “Only if you’re one hundred percent sure that you’d have absolutely no and I mean zero regrets about your decision then go ahead and leave,” you say, and he looks at you in a confusing manner, “You heard me, you can get up and leave right now, but,” you add emphasis to the word, “if you have even the slightest bit of a doubt, then all I ask of you is to hear this story till its end.”

Jimin, who by now had grabbed his jacket from the table in preparation to leave, now hesitated. Before you went up to him, he was so sure he wouldn’t regret it… but now after hearing a part of this story of yours… that confidence was long gone. Because if history truly was repeating itself, then he wanted to know the ending to this tale.

And so remaining in his seat, a look of determination covered his face.

“Okay then,” you mutter, ready to continue.

“That night I had cried in that diner for what felt like hours. It wasn’t until the waitress had to tell me that they’d be closing soon that I remembered I was far from Seoul, and so instead I went to my parents’ house and spent the night crying in my mom’s arms. I didn’t tell her right away, but I knew that she had known. Because honestly why else would I cry that hard.

Still though, I kept my mouth shut about it for the week that I slept over there, thinking deep down in my heart that he’d come back and tell me it was all a big mistake. Because if he did, I would’ve forgiven him. Maybe give him the silent treatment for a bit, hell even make him beg a bit, but I would’ve still forgiven him nonetheless.

When I went back to Seoul, I stayed in the same apartment. I paid the same expensive rent despite there only being one person living in there now. I stayed there because every afternoon I’d come back from work with a tiny feeling of hope that when I’d walk in, I’d find him in the kitchen like I always did after work, eating God knows what.

Sadly it never happened....

In the beginning I’d have no problem visiting my parents in their home, that continuous hopeful side in me thinking I’d be able to magically see Jin at his parent’s house. 

In reality the only person I’d occasionally see was his mother, who greeted me the same way she always did, acting as if nothing happened. I’m sure Seokjin must’ve told her through a phone call, but yet like the amazing person she was, she never asked me any questions about it. Never uttered his name around me, instead asking about trivial things like my career and such.

With no update on where Seokjin was, or what he was doing, it was only a matter of time in which I’d realize that things just weren't going to play out like how I imagined them to. The charming prince in my story had truly left.  

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and soon months turned into years. I stopped visiting my parents house as much, and ultimately began to ask them if they could come out to Seoul to visit me rather than the other way around. As going home only served as a reminder for me of what I had lost. No… of what had left me.

And so after about two years of being single, I finally began to date people for the first time in my life, until soon enough I met someone by the name of Seojun. Though it wasn’t exactly love at first sight, it was definitely my first serious relationship since my break up with Seokjin, and slowly I really did fall in love.  

I had successfully forgotten about Seokjin.

At least I thought I did ….

I guess this brings us to where our story begins to end….

1999. 

“My loneliness is killing me,” you whisk the batter of the cake you were making, “and iiiii,” the shiny ring placed on your left ring finger shines even under the kitchen light, “I must confess I still believe,” you pause for a moment, “I still believe,” you horribly sing the ad-lib to Britney Spears’ chart topper of a song, “...Baby One More Time”.

Out of nowhere, the music on the radio is turned down, “I think that’s enough whisking y/n,” your mom chuckles, “any more and you’ll over mix it.” 

Sighing, you follow your mom’s orders.

Today was Christmas, and like every other year, you were spending it at home with your parents. Your fiancé, Seojun, who was out of town to celebrate the holiday with his family as well, would arrive in two days. It was the best compromise the two of you could make, with the agreement that the roles would be reversed for the following year.

Taking out the baked bread she had put in an hour earlier, she immediately sets it down on the cooling rack placed on the table, “You’re going to have to take these to Mrs. Kim right now,” she mentions, while cutting the bread into slices.

Silently, you nod, ignoring the drop in your stomach that you’d feel whenever you had to interact with anything that forced you to remember him. 

Despite you successfully managing to forget about him in terms of your daily life, Kim Seokjin just wasn’t someone you could ever completely forget. No matter how much you wanted to.

Wrapping parchment paper around the pieces, you help your mom tie the cute little pieces of red string around it, her belief of presentation adding to the flavor still ringing true to this day.

She inspects them one more time before placing them into the woven basket decorated with many other Christmas like things, along with the two gifts she bought for the twins, “Make sure you remind her about coming over tomorrow with the kids.”

Nodding, you place your coat on and begin to make your way out, “And tell her I said Merry Christmas!”

Making a motion with your hand that you heard her well, you close the door before she can add anything else.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Ah y/n,” Mrs. Kim greets, pulling you in for a hug, “Merry Christmas,” she says.

“Merry Christmas Mrs. Kim,” you smile at her, handing her the basket.

“Come in, come in,” she insists, and reluctantly you do, “I swear everytime I see you it feels like I’m only getting older,” she chuckles, “You don’t want something to drink? Maybe some wine—”

Laughing at her enthusiasm, you say “It’s fine Mrs. Kim,” while looking around the place. She had done an amazing job at decorating this year, not like she never did, “Where’s Mr. Kim?” you ask in curiosity.

“Ah he’s not coming till later, had some paperwork he wanted to finish up at work,” she explains, and you nod in understanding.

“Merry Christmas!” two voices simultaneously yell, and immediately you're met with a giant hug from the two twins.

Eyes widening at how big they had gotten, a smile covers your face, “Now I’m the one who feels like I’m getting old,” you comment, resulting in Mrs. Kim to laugh. 

The two, who had to be at least 13 years old by now, were definitely going through the phases of puberty by now.

Ruffling their hair, you recall how baby-faced they once were, only imagining how different they’d look in a couple years time. 

Minjun, who now sported braces, was the first to speak, “Woah, it feels like we haven’t seen you in forever!”

Yeonha adds on, “Yeah! You’ve gotten so….” she stops herself from continuing, but you know what she wants to say.

“Old,” you finish for her, pretending to be angry by placing your hands on your hips.  

She awkwardly laughs, scratching her neck, a habit she must’ve picked up from her older brother, “Of course not!” she tries to play it off.

“I’m only 25, turning 26 in a couple of weeks if you really wanna be specific, but that doesn’t make me old little lady!” you scold.

She raises her hands to her defense, while Minjun comes to her rescue, “I think the word she was looking for was mature,” he says, “I mean you’re dressed like those office ladies we see on TV,” and you’re unsure if the comparison was supposed to be a good or bad thing, but nevertheless you change the topic, not wanting to fluster them any more than they already were.

“So any gifts you two are wanting this year?” and immediately Yeonha’s face lights up at the question.

Eagerly she nods her head, “I think Santa,” she sends her mom a mischievous look, “is getting me a new beeper this Christmas,” 

Mrs. Kim playfully rolls her eyes.

“Santa heard from a little birdy that your old beeper wasn’t stolen, but got dropped in water,” Mrs. Kim comments, and immediately Yeonha’s face pales.

She turns to her twin brother and smacks him in shoulder, “Hey!” he yelps, “it wasn’t me!” he scowls, “It was probably Jin,” and even by a single utter of his name, you feel your heart begin to race, “I swear, it’s like you purposely forget what you tell him on the phone sometimes,” Minjun continues to ramble on, clearly upset by the accusation of being the snitch.

“I think I should get going,” you suddenly interrupt.

“Oh but you just got here,” Mrs. Kim says, failing to notice why you were suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

“Yeah!” Yeonha adds for support, “Jin’s supposed to get here any second now,” she wiggles her brows, even after all these years, still clearly unaware of the circumstances for your breakup.

Mrs. Kim looks surprised at Yeonha’s sudden announcement, “He was supposed to get here at 8,” she mumbles, a wave of guilt washing over her.

You send her a sympathetic look, knowing that it wasn’t her intention to put you in an uncomfortable position, “I’ll see you all soon, I promise,” you say, and Mrs. Kim now barely notices the ring on your finger. A subtle gasp escaping from her lips.

With your hand on the handle, you begin to open the door, “And Merry Christm—”

Stomach dropping at the sight in front of you, you feel as if a semi-truck had hit you, rendering you at a loss for words, “Y-Y/N?”

The first thing you notice about him is the length of his hair. It seemed as if he had grown it back into the mullet he first had when you met him, only this time it suited the mature aura he seemed to have. 

Dressed in a black turtleneck, matched with black pants and dress shoes, you weren’t sure if you were in shock because he was right in front of you for the first time in nearly 3 years or because of how easy it was for him to get your heart racing.

It was weird really, despite his change in appearance, for some reason even now you were sure that he was still the same old Seokjin you’d always known.

Noting that you’d been staring at him in silence for quite a while, you finally manage to spew something out, “S-Seokjin,” is all you manage to stutter under your breath.

The twins share a troublesome look to one another, “Come on you two, Mom made Pajeon,” Yeonha says, pulling the two of you by your respective hands and forcing you both inside, “We can all eat and catch up,” she smiles wide and big, “I’m sure you two would love that,” she winks.

“I d-don’t,” you attempt to say something, but too flustered for your own good, you remain in shock. 

Glancing at Mrs. Kim, you notice the contemplative look on her face, as if she was debating with herself in terms of what to do.

Making up her mind, she announces, “I’ll get the plates ready,” much to your dread. 

Awkwardly, the two of you are seated across from another, the tension in the room only building as you wait for the food.

“Soooo……” Yeonha breaks the silence that fills the room, “What have you two been up to?” she glances at the two of you, waiting for a response.

Feeling a knot in your stomach, you continue to remain silent. 

It also didn’t help that Seokjin’s gaze had remained on you this whole time. It was as if he was studying you, analyzing you the same way you had done to him. He wanted to see if you had changed.

Feigning a cough, he ultimately speaks. “Shouldn’t you already know Yeonha,” he questions her, “unless you haven’t been listening whenever we talk on the phone…”

Her face reddens, “Of course I have! You just went to Taiwan recently to consult for some business company and do those boring analyses you always do.”

He shakes his head, “Then there’s your answer,” he simply states.

“Business? So he really did end up giving up on his dream ….” you think to yourself, a bit saddened at the fact. A part of you always assumed that Jin had left you to be well on his way to stardom, that when he left you that night, he truly was being the selfish person he claimed he wanted to be.

“Y/N? …” the sound of your name being repeated brings you back to reality.

For a moment you look confused, “I said what about you?” and for the first time since your breakup, both you and Jin make eye contact, easily taking your breath away.

Face reddening, you take a while to respond, “I um—” flustering with your words , you continue, “I’m um— the head writer at the same company I worked at years ago,” you force an awkward smile on your face.

“Oh…” Jin says, “Do you like it over there?” and the question brings you back to that first car ride to the diner when you had just moved to town. His delivery of the question still as blunt as before.

“Um yeah …” you reply, fidgeting with your fingers.

He genuinely smiles, “I’m glad,” he says, “really I am,” he adds for extra comfort.

And before you could say thank you, his mother enters the dining room, the plate of Pajeon in her hand, along with other side dishes, “Here you kids go,” she places the things on the table, “Make sure you eat it while it’s hot,” she warns before making her way back into the kitchen.

It’s only until you grab the piece of Pajeon with your chopsticks that he finally notices it.

He finally notices the shiny diamond ring you sport on your left index finger.

“You’re engaged,” he suddenly announces says , face unreadable.

As if the room wasn’t awkward enough….

Gulping, you nod, “Yeah,” you exhale, “it happened a couple of months ago,” you add.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, “I’m happy for you,” he gives you a small smile. Silently patting his mouth with a napkin, he gets up from his seat, “Well I just came back from a pretty long flight so I’m pretty tired, so I think I’m gonna head upstairs,” he avoids eye contact for a moment, a sign that he was lying, “Jet lag you know?” he awkwardly laughs, “But it was nice seeing you y/n…”

Getting up as well, you decide that it was best you left as well.

“Merry Christmas y/n,” he says one final time before heading up stairs.

“Merry Christmas to you too Seokjin,” you whisper under your breath.

“Since our breakup three years before, Seokjin had never once gone back home for Christmas, which was why I felt so sure that he wouldn’t that year, but of course I was wrong. So when I told my mom she immediately began to panic for me, remembering that she invited Mrs. Kim to come over the next day, and well of course she didn’t want to be rude and rescind her invitation.

And so I told my mom that it was fine. Whether Seokjin decided he wanted to come over or not, I’d be just fine. At least that’s what I tried convincing myself of…”

“Seokjin, we’re going to be headed our way now,” Mrs. Kim yells over the blasting music. God, did Jin feel like a teenager again. “If you change your mind well … we’ll be right next door!”

He hears her footsteps going down the stairs, signalling that she was gone.

Engaged …. You were really engaged ….

The image of the ring on your finger was the only thing that remained in his mind the night before, and it was what was haunting him even now. 

He wasn’t sure what came over him, you were happy, you had found love in someone else just like he’d hoped for years ago. 

He should’ve been ecstatic for you … but he wasn’t.

Several questions pondered in his mind once he saw it. Who was the guy? How did you meet? When were you sure you loved him? Was he treating you better than he ever did? Could he give you the future you always wanted? Just how happy were you?

Sighing, he gets up from bed, not wanting to sulk for any longer. 

He had to do something, anything, for the meanwhile that he was back home to get his mind off of this. And so grabbing his jacket, he prepares to leave, unsure of just how long he could be in the same proximity as you without doing something he’d regret.

The sounds of crickets chirping fills the air, a wine glass in your hand as you look at the stars above in the sky from the comfort of your front porch.

Inside, your parents were talking about the most mundane of things with Jin’s parents, while the kids were busy preoccupying themselves playing with their newly gifted Nintendo 64. And after getting tired of constantly losing to them, here you were, taking a break from the chaos going on inside.

Seojun was arriving tomorrow, from there you’d only be here for the remainder of the weekend and then back home to your apartment in Seoul, as if nothing ever happened. Ever since yesterday, something was eating at you. You just weren’t sure what. And the only thing you could look at to ease your anxiousness was the ring on your finger, a solid reminder that you had a future to look forward to and that the past was buried six feet under.

Taking a gulp of the drink in your hand, you mentally curse Jin. Why did he have to return? Out of all years, this had to be the one he chose to magically come back in? “Damn you Seok—”

“Y/N?” you look up to see the person you were just damning, car keys in hand. It looked as if he was originally planning on going somewhere, but must’ve walked over here once he saw you sitting here by yourself.

“Seokjin,” you say, a mixture of both shock and displeasure evident in your voice.

Relief washes over him when hearing your response because unbeknownst to you, from afar you looked as if you were completely knocked out, a result of the position you were in while you were deeply thinking. Immediately he eyes the wine glass in front of you, everything beginning to make sense.

“You looked um—” shaking his head, he disregards what he was going to say, “Sorry I’ll just get going.”

And maybe it was the wine talking, but rather than keep quiet and watch him leave, you call out to him, “You can—” you hesitate to continue, “You can sit here if you want,” you say, “that’s only if you want to of course, I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to because I’m not exactly physically capable of doing that and—”

Jin interrupts your tipsy rambling by sitting at an appropriate distance from you, a soft chuckle escaping from his lips, “You always did like getting drunk off wine,” he whispers under his breath, a small smile on his lips.

For a while, the two of you remain in silence, simply staring at the view above. That was of course until you asked him a simple question, “Where were you going?” you mumble.

Bringing his attention towards you, his eyes soften, “Just wanted some fresh air,” he simply answers, being completely truthful.

Silently you nod, “Mm that’s good,” you say, your cheeks a soft tinge of red because of the wine.

“So…”

“So…” you mimic him, causing him to playfully roll his eyes.

“How have you been?” he attempts to break the ice, “I realized I didn’t really ask you that yesterday…”

It was funny really, the two of you truly had become strangers in a sense, just like how he said you two would be that night. But in a way, it also made things more interesting, it was as if he was getting the chance to know you for the second time in his life.

“I’ve been..” you hesitate to find the right word, ultimately deciding on the simplest one you knew, “I’ve been good,” you say, “I’m doing something I love, have an apartment I completely adore, and I found someone—” you stop yourself from continuing.

“You found someone you love?” he says for you, and silently you nod, remaining silent for a moment.

“Why did you—” you pause before continuing, “Why did you become a businessman?” you ask, the question having been on your mind since the day before.

Casually, he shrugs, “There was no future in the world of entertainment for me y/n,” he states, “so I went back to college, worked my ass off, and got a degree in financial accounting. From there the job offers came pretty easily and now I’m a traveling business analyst.”

“Did you do it because of your da—”

He’s quick to nod his head no, “I did it for—,” and at the last second he changes what he was originally going to say, “I did it for myself,” and you feel yourself getting angry.

“But it wasn’t what you dreamed of, it wasn’t something you loved!” you unintentionally shout.

“Hey hey hey,” he places a hand on your shoulder, “any louder and the whole neighborhood will hear you,” he attempts to joke around, and you feel your face get redder than it already was.

Letting go of your shoulder, he looks back up to the stars, his voice becoming soft, “The night I told you about wanting to seriously pursue becoming a director, you told me that if I failed, the real question would be if I’d be able to accept it…” your gaze falls on him while he continues to look up into the sky, “At first I wasn’t able to… I was too ashamed to admit to failure, but—” he smiles, “when I finally did, it almost felt liberating. And so I realized sometimes you have to give up the things you love, for a better shot at a future.”

Bullshit.

Complete bullshit.

That’s what you want to say to him.

And so you do.

“That’s complete utter bullshit Seokjin,” you mutter, taking a sip of your drink, “because if it isn’t then that makes you a selfish person, and you’re the farthest thing from selfish. So that’s just bullshit and you know it.”

He laughs, “It is, isn't it?”

Not expecting him to agree, you look at him in shock before grouchily looking away, focusing your gaze on anything but him.

Failing to hear the brief sharp hissing sound of his zipper being pulled down, you suddenly feel the placement of his sweater over your shoulders. You furrow your brows in confusion, “You’re shivering like a chihuahua,” he explains, scratching his neck like he always did whenever he was nervous.

Crossing your arms, you attempt to hide your face which you were sure by now was as red as a tomato. What the hell were you doing? Sitting here talking to your ex boyfriend of 6 years while your fianceé was probably well on his way here… it was wrong, it was inappropriate. So then if you knew that then why did it feel so … you brush the thought off before you could complete it.

“Because he was your friend first and as much as you hate to admit it,  he'll always mean something to you…” you tell yourself, feeling guilty at the thought.

“Y/N?” he says your name, bringing you back to reality.

You look at him, wondering why he said your name out of the blue.

“Do you—” it was now his turn to hesitate, “Do you hate me?” he finally asks, and immediately your mind says no. You could never hate him, even if you wanted to.

He stares at you, anxiously waiting for a response.

“No I don’t.” you simply say, not bothering to elaborate any further, but for Jin that was enough. It was enough to tell him that you still …

“Seojun…” you whisper under your breath, a car pulling into the driveway of your house, a look of surprise on your face. Immediately you push off the jacket from your shoulders, catching Seokjin by surprise.

“So this is who he is…” Jin thinks to himself, watching the handsome man come out of the car, a grin on his face as he locks eyes with you.

Walking towards him, Jin watches as you lovingly greet the man with a kiss to the cheek, the two of you then walking towards him. “Seojun this is Seokjin, his parents are the neighbors,” Seojun offers his hand out, a polite smile on his face, “Seokjin this is Seojun, my fianceé,” the two shake hands. Your past and present finally meeting.

“Seokjin which means to be a great treasure,” Seojun attempts to make small conversation.

“He’s a linguist,” you explain, awkwardly chuckling, noting the fake smile on Seokjin’s face.

“Mm I see,” he mumbles, bitterness in his voice.

“I thought you weren’t coming till tomorrow?” you ask your fianceé, still surprised by his sudden appearance.

He shrugs, “What can I say, I got bored,” he laughs, “So I said my goodbyes early, and decided why not come here to surprise you,” he kisses your forehead, and Jin feels the green eyed monster making its way out.

“Well I should get going,” Jin states.

“You sure?” you widen your eyes at Seojun’s sudden question, “I mean I love your dad y/n but it’d be nice to have someone else to talk to,” he chuckles, “and well I definitely wanna hear about what y/n was like as a teenager from someone who isn’t one of her parents.”

You and Jin both make awkward eye contact, unsure of what to say. “Maybe some other time,” Jin manages to say, “I have to um…” he flusters, “um..”

“Finish typing up that business report you were talking about,” you make an excuse for him.

He snaps his fingers, pretending that that was what he was trying to say, “Mmhmm yeah!” he scratches his neck, “My job just doesn’t want me resting, not even for the holidays, you know how it is...” he adds on, coming for the Actor of the Year award at next year's Oscars.

Seojun surprisingly believes it, “Damn, that’s too bad,” he scratches his chin, a sign that he was thinking of something, “Well are you coming to our engagement party? Maybe we can talk then,” he says, and if your eyes weren’t already wide enough, by now they were well on their way to falling onto the floor. Seojun was just too kind for his own good.

Jin practically chokes on his own spit, “I um—”

Realizing that you probably forgot to invite him, Seojun interrupts before Jin could feel any more embarrassed, “January 12, at the Lotte Hotel in Seoul, 6PM sharp.”

Feeling his face get red, Seokjin nods, “Yeah I’ll be there,” he forces a laugh.

Patting his shoulder, Seojun smiles, “I look forward to talking to you then,” he says, beginning to make his way inside, with you following closely behind, a guilt-ridden look on your face.

Now by himself, Jin silently cursed to himself. Damn him! Seojun wasn’t at all the asshole Seokjin made him out to be in his head. But damn did he want him to be one…. then it’d be much easier to hate the man, and it’d make him much less guilty for what he was planning to do….

“After that night, I’d go to sleep scared. Not because I was in danger in anything, but because I was scared about the feelings I’d repressed for so long now starting to return. I was scared of looking back…”

Patting down your black fitted cocktail dress, you look at yourself in the mirror for a final time, “Everything is going to be just fine,” you whisper to yourself, having cooped yourself in the ladies restroom for quite some time now. 

You couldn’t help it, the moment you saw the twins walk in with Jin’s mother, you knew it was only a matter of time before Jin walked in.

Ever since that Christmas weekend, his sudden return into your life had been eating you alive. You had gotten over him, you were sure of it. No … you are over him. Point. Blank.

This ring you wore on your finger signified that you were over him, that there was a different future to look forward to now. That whatever was meant to be in the past was no longer an option for you now. Right?

The door suddenly opens, “Y/N, there you are!” your mom comes in with an upset look on her face, “the host of the party can’t just disappear whenever she wants to,” she scolds.

Staring at her with a doe eyed look, you want to tell her everything. Everything that you were currently feeling, every question, every doubt that was crossing your mind since Jin’s return. But instead you just look away, making your way out.

“Taiwan huh? I’ve always wanted to visit there,” you hear your future brother-in-law, Hoseok, say. 

He, along with Seojun, Seokjin, and some other guests were currently discussing God knows what in a social circle.

“Y/N,” Seojun calls out to you, a grin on his face.

Immediately you make eye contact with Jin, feeling your every movement being scrutinized under his gaze. 

Sucking it up, you plaster a smile onto your face, reminding yourself that in a couple of hours you’d be in bed, with the only other times you’d have to see Jin being your rehearsal dinner, which was the night before the wedding, and the wedding day itself. And even then he would just have to be another face in the crowd of guests.

Seojun places a kiss to your cheek, “Jin was just talking about his adventures in Taiwan, I’m thinking it might be a good destination for our honeymoon,” he says with genuine excitement in his tone. Oh how naive he was…

“Oh…” is all you can say, struggling to keep the smile on your face, “um yeah, I guess that would be a nice place to go, wouldn’t it?” you attempt to stay engaged with the conversation, and it seemed as if it was enough to fool Seojun because soon he was talking about something else with another guest. 

But clearly it wasn’t enough to fool Jin, as he currently had his gaze fixed on you, occasionally taking a sip out of the glass of whiskey in his hand.

“I think I’m gonna go out and get a breath of fresh air,” you whisper to Seojun’s ear, and silently he nods, distracted by the conversation he was currently having.

Going out, you make sure not to be seen by your mother, knowing that she’d only scold you again for trying to leave. And so like the cowardly person you were, all you could do was hide and wait in the hotel’s little garden, sitting on the stone bench, the smell of the flowers somewhat relaxing you. 

God, did you just want this night to be over already…

“You shouldn’t have come here,” you suddenly say, feeling the presence of someone behind you, but you knew exactly who it was.

“You looked sad,” you hear Jin say, genuine concern in his voice.

You remain silent.

Sighing, he sits next to you, the moonlight framing his face in such a way that he almost looks ethereal. “Originally I wasn’t going to,” he says, understanding the double meaning to your words, for you meant that he shouldn’t have came to this event at all, “But I needed to see it with my own eyes, confirm that it wasn’t just some—”

“What? Some joke?” you scoff, “Some wretched attempt at getting over you…”

Now it was his turn to remain silent.

You shake your head, “3 years Seokjin,” you say, “3 years you were gone and you just had to come back the year I get engaged,” you bitterly chuckle, wishing you had a drink in your hand, “funny how life works huh?”

Silently he nods, agreeing with you, “I guess it was just a natural sense,” he attempts to joke around, but you remain silent, “I’m sorry,” he randomly says and you look at him confused, “For coming back,” he elaborates on the apology, “if I’d known beforehand I wouldn’t have come back to town for both of our sakes,” he chuckles, being completely honest.

“Hand me that,” you motion to the drink in his hand, and without question he does. Taking a giant gulp, you then finally say something, “I’m getting married in 6 months Seokjin,” you remind him of your future fate, “it was going to happen before you came back, and it’s happening even after,” you turn to face him, wanting to make sure he understood that at this very moment you were placing a line between you two, one that you hoped was unbreakable.

He returns to stare, “I know y/n,” he simply responds.

“Do you?” your face twists into a frown, “Because I know you Seokjin and something in my gut is telling me that—”

“Y/N I know,” he repeats, “but just answer one thing for me…” he pauses, contemplating on whether to continue but does so anyway, “Do you really love him?”

And just as you’re about to respond, he interrupts, “But I mean genuinely y/n, enough where you really can picture the rest of your life with him with absolutely no regrets, no what if’s…” he adds.

Could you? You ask yourself. Could you really imagine being with Seojun with no regrets…..

To Jin, your silence was enough of an answer, but before he could get a word in, a voice suddenly interrupts, “Y/N!” Seojun calls out, “There you are,” he exhales a relieved sigh, “We’re about to cut the cake,” he glances at Jin, nodding as a way of saying hello.

“Oh right ...” you get up from the bench, a black cloud hanging over your head, “I’ll see you at the wedding Seokjin,” you look at Jin a final time, the statement ultimately acting as your answer.

“The six months went by in the blink of an eye, but each and every night when I went to bed, it ate me alive. 

The lies I was telling my fianceé, the lies I was telling myself, everything was just becoming too much. 

And as the date loomed closer and closer, it was only getting worse. And so the night before the rehearsal dinner I finally came clean…”

Staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom, you’d become accustomed to the sleepless nights for the last six months, faint lines beginning to form under your eyes. 

In less than 48 hours you’d be a married woman, welcoming a future you’d always wanted. So then why was it now, you still couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

“Wedding jitters?” you hear Seojun whisper beside you, and you find yourself shocked that he was still awake. Usually he was quick to fall asleep, a deep sleeper as well, so to find him awake was pretty unusual.

You remain silent, hoping he’d just fall asleep, but like the caring person he was, he softly nudges you despite knowing that you were ignoring him, “Seojun, go to sleep, it’s late,” you mumble in the darkness, reminding you of a memory from long ago.

“Something’s bothering you,” he says, now turning to face you, and he nudges you a second time, “You know you can tell me anything…” he adds, wanting to reassure you.

This was your chance, your chance to tell him everything before it was too late. It was speak now or forever hold your peace, and so sighing, you position yourself to sit up, turning on the bedside lamp.

“Seojun I haven’t been completely honest with you…” you announce, now avoiding eye contact. “And well you deserve to know the truth because you’re an amazing person who deserves nothing but the bes—”

“Y/N,” he interrupts you, a soft laugh emitting from his lips, “I know Seokjin is your ex, and I know he still loves you,” he drops the bombshell of news on you, and you could’ve sworn you felt your jaw hit the floor.

“W-wait w-w-what?” you manage to breathe out, and it only makes him laugh again.

He now sits up, nodding his head, “I knew the moment you introduced his parents as the neighbors rather than calling him an old friend,” he chuckles, “you were trying to make it seem a little too platonic,” your face squirms, “and well you’re not exactly the best liar,” he pauses, “Plus your mom isn’t exactly a quiet speaker so when I heard her rambling to your dad about the situation, I sorta just knew.”

“T-then why didn’t you call me out on it?” you immediately ask, but before he could respond, you continue to ramble, “God, I’m so sorry Seojun,” tears well up in your eyes, “I love you, I really do,” you say, completely truthful, “but I-I-I—” you struggle to continue.

“But you also love him,” he completes for you, a look of understanding on his face.

Immediately you nod your head no, “No I don’t it’s just—”

“Y/N it’s fine,” he says, grabbing your hand, but you still refuse to admit it.

“No Seojun, you don’t get it. I love you, I do, more than you ever know and I’m ready to start our future together but—” you look away, “as much as I hate to admit it I’m always going to feel something for him because he was my first love,” you whisper the last part, “but you’re my last,” you reaffirm.

Seojun smiles sadly before sighing, “I know, which is why I sorta just let it be that night at the engagement party because well... I figured that if you were able to make it to the aisle without turning back it meant that you truly did love me,” he pauses, “Because even now you have the choice to turn back y/n, you do understand that right? I won’t be mad, I won’t be too sad, and I won’t hate you for it because I understand,” he says and you feel a teardrop fall from your eye, “that night I overheard him ask you if you really loved me and though you didn’t immediately say yes, you also didn’t flat out say no. And so it seems you’re at a crossroad… ” he whispers.

“Seojun…” 

He squeezes your hand, “When you step on that aisle then I’ll have no doubt that you’ve completely unregrettably chosen me,” he says, “and if you don’t then I’ll know you were just never meant to be mine,” he smiles softly.

A silence follows.

“Tomorrow he’s going to the rehearsal dinner, and I’m assuming it’ll act as his hail mary. His final attempt at getting you back,” he suddenly says, “and so it’ll be your time to make a decision … a future with me or a look back at the past with Seokjin,” and he kisses your cheek, his way of saying goodnight before making himself comfortable in bed again, quickly falling asleep, and leaving you in the same sleepless state you were already in before.

He was right, knowing Seokjin tomorrow he was going to do something because you were 100% sure that he would never grow the balls to object to the matrimony in front of everyone. And so as the clock kept ticking, it was only up to you to decide your future.

“The next night came quicker than expected. After all of the guest greetings and pretentious conversations I had to make, it was time for the guests to make a toast. By then I had already made a decision in my mind, I just didn’t expect everything to happen the way it did….

For over the last 50 years I’ve constantly looked back at that night and have asked myself where it went wrong, what could’ve gone differently, what if this, and what if that… as it was never meant to escalate to the point it reached...

But it did … and as much I would love to go back in time and change everything, I can’t. And that’s just something I’ve had to accept, no matter how much it hurts…”

Clink. Clink. Clink.

You eye Jin as he gets up from his seat, his glass of sparkling water in his hand. 

You’d been avoiding him like the plague the whole night, just wanting to get to the wedding day as soon as possible.

You attempt to remain calm. 

He wouldn’t do it, not here in front of everyone. If he really cared for you like you believed him to, then he wouldn’t. 

You knew Jin, and he was the kind of person to pull you to the side or find you alone like at the night of the engagement party in order to tell you something. Never would he stoop so low to do something like this…

Feigning a cough, he speaks, “I want to make this as quick as possible, don’t want to take too much of everyone’s time,” Jin’s mother glances at yours, the two of them unsure of what was going on, “So where do I begin…” Seojun looks at you with an impassive expression, your conversation from the night before coming to fruition, “Ahh I know,” Jin snaps his fingers, “So for anyone who doesn’t know, I actually dated y/n first…”

“Seokjin,” his mother attempts to stop him by harshly whispering his name, but he relents.

“We dated for about 6 years actually, to a point where we sure that we’d spend the rest of our lives together,” he scoffs, “but then I ruined that by breaking up with her,” he reminds you and everyone else around you of the fateful night, “which I know is shitty of me to realize just now how much of a mistake it was. But I mean what are the chances that I come back the year you’re about to get engaged, I mean that has to mean something right?” he rambles, almost as if talking to himself, convincing himself that this was the right thing to do.

Everyone sits in shock of the words spewing out of his mouth, certain that this was only something that happened in movies, never imagining that it could actually happen in real life, “I’m only saying this now because I realize it’d be even more of a dick move of me to object in front of everyone,” he chuckles to himself, “And so I’m doing this now, in front of everyone y/n…” he locks eyes with you, “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “but this is our last chance, a final shot at the future you’ve always wanted... with me.”

The silence in the room was deafening.

Slowly you get up, a heavy feeling weighing down your chest as you clear your throat before speaking, “I know this is a lot to ask but if everyone can get up and momentarily leave the room, I’d really appreciate it,” you announce, “I’d like to talk to my friend privately for a moment,” you look down to Seojun who nods understandingly.

Without question, Seojun begins to lead everyone out, until ultimately it was only you and Seokjin standing by yourselves, a scene all too familiar to you. 

“Y/N…” he begins, but you’re quick to cut him off, your hand placed on your temple.

“Why?” your voice breaks, any emotion you’d been withholding beginning to unravel, “Just why?” is all you’re able to ask.

“Because you don’t love him y/n,” he whispers loud enough for you to hear, and it’s at hearing that, that you feel a shift in mood.

“But I do Seokjin!” you yell, seeing nothing but red now.

Silence momentarily lingers in the air, until you scoff.

“What were you thinking, Seokjin? That you could just come back into my life and I’d welcome you back with open arms?” you ask, tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to fall with every word you got out.

He shakes his head, “No but—” he hesitates, walking closer to you, “what are the chances y/n? What are the chances I come back to town the year you’re getting married—”

“The only reason I’m getting married to someone else is because you left me!” you interrupt him, reminding him of the choice he made years ago.

He looks away, “You don’t get it y/n,” he mumbles under his breath, beginning to grow frustrated.

“What’s there not to get Seokjin?” you push at him, now yelling, “If I hadn’t gone looking for you that night, I would’ve been left with nothing but a goddamn note—”

“I was doing what was best for you!” he yells in return.

“For me?” your voice shakes, “Leaving me at a diner in the middle of the goddamn night with some poor excuse wasn’t the best for me! Leaving me to cry in bed, by myself, for almost 2 years straight wasn’t the best for me! Leaving me, not knowing where the hell you were for almost 3 years wasn’t the best for me!” you finally explode, years and years of anger now revealing itself.

“Everything I had felt, the sadness, the anger, the frustration, everything … was finally being released…”

“I begged for you that night Seokjin, begged!” you emphasize, the tears that had been building up, now falling hysterically.

“I was just trying to do what was best for you,” he says, completely and wholeheartedly honest, because it was true. At the time he really was doing it all for you, and you understood that now, truly you did.

“But I just couldn’t let it go… I was still hurt, and that hurt was what was holding me back. That hurt was what was preventing me from walking out the back door with him, ready to finally start that future with him I always wanted…”

“I didn’t need you to do anything for me!” you yell, “I was a grown woman Seokjin! Capable of making my own decisions, just like I am now!” your heartbeat slows down, “I gave you my heart that night Jin!” your voice cracks, not only feeling your heart break for the second time in your life, but all by the same person, “It was you who left me! Not me, you!”

“Because I didn’t want to hold you back y/n,” his voice breaks, “Because at the time I couldn’t give you the things you wanted.”

“And I told you I didn’t care!” you cry out, “Because for me all that mattered was being by your side…” a silence follows, “You were my first love Seokjin,” you breathe out, “the first boy to make me feel completely and unconditionally loved and so for that I thank you,” you say, “I really do…” you grab his hand, “but this—” you struggle to say the words.

“But this is the end,” a tear falls down from his eye, and you can only stare at him in sadness.

“I’m choosing Seojun, completely and unregrettably,” you whisper, placing a final soft kiss to his cheek, “I’m sorry,” I’m sorry for being unable to let go, is what you want to say.

“So then I should go,” he quietly says, and silently you nod, letting go of his hand in the process.

And he watches you as you walk away, “Y/N,” he says your name for a final time and you turn around, sadness still etched in your face. 

There’s a brief silence before he continues.

“Live—” he hesitates, “Live a life you’ll be proud of,” he reminds you, and to that you send him a small smile. A chapter in your life coming to its end.

“And so the next day was the wedding....” 

“How are you feeling y/n?” your mom comes up to you from behind, practically feeling just as nervous as you were.

You pat down your dress, sighing in the process. Ever since last night, there was a churning feeling in your stomach that had been bothering you, but you reasoned with yourself that it must’ve been due to the events of the night prior, “Nervous but I should be good to go,” you respond, and your mom gives you a smile of reassurance.

Curious to see how many guests had arrived already, you look out the window of the room you were in, which gave a perfect view of the venue. Scanning across, it seemed like everyone was here except… 

“Where’s Mrs. Kim?” you ask, “and the twins?”

After last night’s events, Mrs. Kim had gone up to you frantically apologizing for her son’s behavior, rambling about understanding if you didn’t want her at the wedding anymore, but you were quick to tell her that it was fine. That just because Jin did what he did, didn’t mean you didn’t want her attending. Which was why now seeing her seat empty along with the twins’, you were not only confused but a little hurt.

“Maybe they’re stuck in traffic,” she reasons, “they did leave quite late,” she adds.

Deciding it was best not to dwell on it too much, you push it to the back of your mind, “Let’s get this show on the road,” you ultimately say, ready to get married.

“You have to remember that in the early 2000’s, not everyone had mobile phones yet because of how expensive they were. People were still used to calling a house phone by memory and crossing their fingers that you’d pick up. You couldn’t just send a text message to absolutely anyone whenever something of importance happened…” you explain, your voice beginning to shake, “you couldn’t inform someone of an emergency until God knows when,” a tear falls from your eye, “Because if you could, then—” you let out a heart wrenching sob.

“Grandma?” Jia says in concern.

“Then I would’ve never gone through with that wedding…”

Seokjin was tired, no … he was exhausted. 

God, was he such an idiot. What the hell was he thinking doing that? You were right, did he really think he could just waltz back into your life and everything would just go back what it once was? And to see you cry like that only made him realize even more of what a complete selfish asshole he was.

But at least, you both found closure right? That was all that—

The sound of Seokjin’s car engine making an ugly noise breaks him away from his thoughts. Almost immediately, he pulls over to the side of the road, purposely stopping near a payphone for reference.

Grabbing the flashlight from his compartment box, he gets out of the car and lifts up the hood of the car.

“Hmm...” he hums, nothing seemed wrong. It was probably just his car’s way of saying that it needed to be replaced by a newer model soon. 

He smiles, tapping the hood once he placed it back down. He’s had this thing since his first year in college, it being by his side almost as long as you had been, if not more.

Yawning, he gets back in the car, the need to fall asleep becoming a little too overwhelming. Placing the key back in the keyhole, he turns it in order to turn on the ignition, but to his surprise the car refuses to start, “Come on LadyBug,” he says, the name of the car being something you and him both made up on a drunken whim, it sticking ever since.

Deciding to be stubborn tonight, LadyBug relents. 

Sighing he grabs his Nokia phone from the glove compartment, the giant words of “NO SIGNAL” only making him sigh more. He just wanted to go home and sleep already.

Getting out of the car once more, he walks towards the phone booth, inserts a quarter, and dials the number of his parent’s house phone. As much as he hated to ask for help, desperate times called for desperate measures, and his dad should be home.

“You have reached the voicemail box of 45x-7x8-87xx, please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeep,” the automated voice instructs.

Seokjin groans, maybe his dad was asleep, “Hey dad, I’m sorta stranded out here with a car that doesn’t seem to want to start and well … I think Mom is still at the rehearsal dinner with the twins,” Seokjin begins to ramble, “She’s probably on her way back home, but you know her,” he chuckles, scratching his neck, “she still refuses to get a mobile phone so there’s really no way of calling her till she gets home,” despite his father not being on the line, he still felt awkward asking him for a favor, “I’m on interstate 6, you know … the usual route to get from Gwacheon to Seoul. Well, I’m gonna try calling someone else just in case you’re asleep… bye,” he hangs up the phone, disappointed that he was going to be stuck here longer than he hoped for.

Who else could he call, hmmm.

Ah! Yoongi! Hell maybe even Taehyung or Namjoon! Though it’d been a while since he last saw them, he was sure they’d be willing to do him the favor.

Quickly dialing their numbers one after another, he’s met with the same automated message of, “We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check your number and try your call again.”

“Damn, they probably changed numbers,” Seokjin mumbles to himself, unsure of what to do.

Glancing at the time in his watch, he realizes just how late it was. Who else could he call….

The image of you appears in his mind, but he’s quick to shake his head no. He was the last person who could call to ask for a favor, but damn was your number the only number he had left in his memory. 

And it wasn’t like he could sleep in his car for the night, that was only an invitation to get robbed on the side of the road. 

He needed some kind of help, and quickly at that. And the chances that you were already home were pretty high, never being much of a partier to begin with.

“Fuck it,” he mutters, promising himself that this would be the last time he ever asked you for anything. He could only hope that you still lived in the same apartment….

“We should really start heading back home,” you whisper to Seojun’s ear, the rehearsal dinner having only awkwardly resumed about an hour or two ago. Things were barely beginning to get comfortable again among the guests, not like you could really blame them, they had just witnessed something that looked like it came out of a movie.

“Y/N,” he chuckles, “Have some fun,” he says, as this was probably your 10th time saying this in the last hour, “You deserve it,” he tries to convince you, your whole mood having gone sour since the whole mishap.

Sighing, you look away shyly, “I don’t know Seojun—”

“Come onnnn,” he teases, gently pulling you into a hug, “Just one more hour.”

You roll your eyes, “Hm fine,” you say, easily convinced, “but only one,” you reaffirm.

He nods, “only one.”

“Hello, we are currently either sleeping or—Jin I’m making the message for the voicemail thingy majiggy—” the sound of a high pitched laugh in the background is heard, and Jin remembers how he had been poking fun at you for using your “I mean business” voice, “as I was saying, we are currently either sleeping or at work! Sorry we couldn’t reach your call at this time, but please please please leave a message after the beep and we’ll make sure to get back to you as soon as we can! You ready? Beeeeeep!”

Jin laughs at how silly you sounded, surprised that you hadn’t changed the message in the last 3 years. It probably meant you had no reason to, considering it was pretty rare that you didn’t pick up a phone. 

Meaning maybe you weren’t picking up on purpose….

Jin shakes his head, reminding himself that he was calling on a payphone and that there was no way you could see it was him. It was just self doubt getting to him.

“Hey y/n it’s me um Seokjin,” he awkwardly laughs, “I know I don’t really deserve to be asking you for a favor right now, but um,” he exhales a deep breath, “I’m sorta stranded right now and well I tried calling everyone else I could think of at the top of my head, I swear, but no one picks up,” he wants to make sure you understand that you really were his last option, “I promise that after this it’ll be the last time you see or hear of me, but I’m just really tired and well I just wanna go home and sleep. So if you can, I’ll be on interstate 6 with LadyBug,” he chuckles, “Um …” he’s unsure of how to end the voicemail, “I’ll see you soon then… bye ….”

Sighing, he walks back to his car, deciding he was going to try one more time before officially giving up. Twisting the key, he could only cross his fingers that it’d start up.

Vrooom.

A toothy grin appears on Jin’s face as he childishly celebrates, “Oh thank God,” he whispers to himself, rubbing his eyes and preparing himself for the drive ahead.

“Y/N,” your mom calls out to you from the dance floor, a shock ridden expression on her face, “Y/N!” she yells again, this time grabbing your attention.

“What is it mom?” you ask, unaware of the severity of what she was about to tell you.

“We need to go outside, I—” she seems out of breath, “I need to tell you something,” her voice shakes, and an immediate concern covers your face.

“Right now?” you ask, confused as to what could be so important that she needed to tell you at this very moment, in the middle of your wedding reception.

Silently she nods, leading you outside, her hand intertwined with yours. Your dad, with a solemn expression on his face, follows not too far behind.

“Something’s happened y/n…” she begins, voice wavering, “It’s about Seokjin…”

Inaudible words are spoken. 

And soon you fall to the ground, the shock paralyzing you in such a way that you were sure this had to be some cruel nightmare, the sound of silent muffled sobs escaping your lips and filling the air. 

A tragic story coming to its end.

“He died that night driving,” you hauntingly say, “A car had swerved into the opposite lane, and he was just too tired,” your voice shakes, “He didn’t see it in time,” tears fall down your eyes, “He died that night thinking I didn’t love him when in reality I loved him more than ever before. I was just too prideful to admit it,” you wipe the tears from your cheeks.

Jimin and Jia were at a loss for words, shock running through their veins, their eyes wet with their own tears, “You-You’re lying…” Jimin’s voice breaks, unable to comprehend what you had just told them.

“His mom didn’t get the call from the police until she got home, and even then she immediately rushed to the hospital, clinging onto the tiny bit of hope that he’d be just fine,” you shake your head, lips quivering at the recollection of everything, “She told my mom the next by calling my dad’s travel phone, felt like as a close friend … I deserved to know.”

“Grandma…” Jia says weakly.

“I always ask myself what if I hadn’t agreed to stay that extra hour that night. What if I had gone home like I should’ve and heard that voicemail? Because if I had, I would’ve gone to go get him without even a second thought. But like I said, I’ve just had to accept that what happened happened, and there’s nothing I could do to change that.”

Seojun gently knocks on your bedroom door, dressed in an all black suit, “Y/N…” he softly says your name, “Today’s the funeral… you,” he pauses, “you have to get up…” his voice is gentle, but firm, “You—” he hesitates, “You have to go y/n, you have to say goodbye,” he whispers.

He hears you attempt to muffle your sobs, just like you had been for every night of the last month. But in a room full of utter silence, it was almost impossible not to hear you. 

“Y/N…” he slowly enters the dark room, heart breaking at the sight of you aimlessly staring at the ceiling. Sitting beside you, he begins to gently run his hand through your hair, an effort to comfort you.

But the heartfelt action only makes you sob harder, reminding you of the person you had lost, “I—” you barely croak the words out, “I just want to sleep,” you whisper, because you knew that it was only in your dreams that this wretched reality no longer existed. It was only in your dreams that he still… existed. It was the only time you were truly happy.

But by going to that funeral, it meant coming to face with the reality that everything was indeed real. That Kim Seokjin was truly dead.

“I know you do y/n…” he frowns, “but you have to say goodbye,” he repeats his words from earlier.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Didn’t he understand? You didn’t want to say goodbye! You weren’t ready, and you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be.

“I don’t want to,” your voice cracks, face feeling moist because of how much you’d been crying.

“I-I know y/n but—” he’s unsure of what to say. What the hell could he say? You were mourning, you were heartbroken. The man you loved more than the world itself was dead, and there was nothing that could be done about it.

“I have to say goodbye,” you quietly mumble into space, the phrase echoing inside your mind, “I have to say goodbye,” you repeat for a final time, an empty look in your eyes.

The rain pours as you watch the casket get lowered, almost as if grieving itself.

There’s a haunting emptiness in the atmosphere, everyone still in too much shock and disbelief to believe that this was all real.

All you could do was blankly stare at what was in front of you, trying your best to tune out Mrs. Kim’s raw sobs, the sound being too much to bear. 

She had lost her very first born. The child she learned how to nurture, the child whose job was for her to protect, the child who was one of her greatest joys in this world, but most importantly the child she had no doubt loved unconditionally. And so to hear her cry with such a deep hysteria…. it was just too much….

Your mom squeezes your hand tightly, knowing that no words could take away the pain that you were feeling. She had first hand witnessed the love Kim Seokjin had for you, watching it go from a faint crush when you two were teenagers to a love so strong she was once sure it was unbreakable. You were going to get through this dark period in your life, that she was sure of, but the real question was when exactly would you come to accept it.

The clergy makes the final cross motion, ending his eulogy with God knows what because right now everything was just a big blur for you. Because even now with the sight of his casket being lowered six feet under and seeing both his mother and siblings cry like never before, it just didn’t feel real.

Slowly members of his family begin to leave after bidding their final goodbyes, with the occasional number of them stopping to give you their condolences, only making your heart wrench even more. You weren’t his wife, so why were they treating you like some widow? You didn’t deserve their consolation because you didn’t choose him. Like the horrible person you were, you just watched him leave that night. If it weren’t for you—

“Y/N?” a familiar voice interrupts your thoughts.

Turning, you feel your body go cold, “Y-Yoongi?” and beside him were none other than Namjoon and Taehyung, all three of them having tear stained eyes. 

With sad eyes, they give you a small smile, clearly hurting themselves at the loss of their dear friend.

Soon you’re embraced in a hug by them, your body still in disbelief at the sight of them. It had been so long since you’d last seen them, years in fact. Never did you imagine your reunion with them would be here.

“W-we would’ve gotten here sooner but we caught traffic,” Taehyung says with a weak voice, eyes on the verge of spilling more tears.

And for the first time in a month, a small smile appears on your face, “You’re—” you sniffle, “You’re such a bad liar,” and he pulls you in for another hug, this time allowing those tears to fall.

The four of you soon stand in silence, words not having to be exchanged in order to understand what you were all feeling.

Namjoon suddenly speaks, “The last time I saw him was was the day he first came back into town, Christmas,” Yoongi smiles at the memory, all three of them being there, “He stopped by our apartment before going back to his mom’s, said he wanted to say hi,” Joon continues, “even apologized for just disappearing out of nowhere.”

“Tch that idiot,” Yoongi mumbles, “he said the first place he wanted to go was the diner but that they were closed,” Yoongi’s eyes glisten, trying his best not to cry.

“He then promised that for the next time he saw us, he’d to treat us to a meal and some soju,” Taehyung feigns a laugh, “We never got to take him up on it though...” his eyes lower.

“But the thing I’ll remember the most was his horrible attempt at finding out how you were after all those years,” Namjoon shakes his head, a dimpled smile appearing on his face.

Yoongi’s face lights up, remembering just how much he teased Jin that night, “You should’ve seen him,” he chuckles, “Not only were his ears red like how they’d always get but his whole face as well,”  tears fall from Yoongi’s face as he laughs, “He looked like a tomato.”

“Ah and the mullet,” Taehyung reminds them, and soon the clear image of the Jin you’d fallen in love with when you were seventeen appears in your mind.

And for the first time since their appearance, you speak, “He—” you softly chuckle, “He was always convinced he’d bring them back in style,” and the boys feel a sudden sense of happiness in seeing you talk about him.

“Yeah he was—” Namjoon suddenly stops speaking, the boys and him now staring at something behind you.

It was Mrs. Kim, who was now walking towards the four of you, a box in her hands. A solemn smile graces her face.

One by one, she hugs each one of them, turning her attention towards you last, “I was—” she pauses, “I was hoping I could talk to you, privately,” she says, the boys silently nodding and bidding a silent farewell to you, glad to have made you smile, even if it was for a temporary moment.

She leads you to a bench, not too far away from his grave. 

By now the rain had stopped and the sky was now a gloomy shade of gray. 

Placing the box on her lap, for a small moment both of you simply stare at the view in front of you in silence.

You hadn’t talked to her since the night of your rehearsal dinner, not because you didn’t want to, but because looking at her reminded you so much of him. It reminded you of that first day you met him, how she had forced him to show you around town, not knowing that the two of you would be head over heels for one another years down the road. She, along with your mom, had always been your guys’ number one fan, always rooting for the both of you.

“He really did love you,” she stares off into the distance, “up until his very last breath, I’m sure,” she whispers.

You lower your gaze, unable to look at her.

Oddly enough, there was a peaceful aura in the air, both quiet and serene. Just like he would’ve loved it to be. He never did like seeing people cry.

“Whenever he’d come back home to visit, you should’ve seen the way his eyes would light up when he’d talk about you,” she smiles, “always eager to talk about what you were doing with your career,” she fiddles with her wedding ring, “Sungjin would get peeved but Seokjin wouldn’t care,” she chuckles, “he just loved you that much.”

At the mention of his father, only then fo you realize that you hadn’t seen him at all the entire service, “Where’s—” you’re hesitant to ask, not wanting to push boundaries, “Where’s Mr. Kim?” you croak. Yeah, he and Jin didn’t have the best relationship, but did that really matter now? Did any of it matter at this point?

She bitterly smiles, “He’s grieving in his own way,” she says, her voice breaking and her eyes still watery, “Those two had a tough love relationship,” she feigns a laugh, “but—” her voice cracks, “I always secretly knew that Seokjin was Sungjin’s favorite,” she sniffles her tears, “he just wasn’t good at showing it.”

You try your best not to cry, too physically and emotionally exhausted to sob any more. To you, it was just better to be numb than to feel every single emotion heightened, but God was it so hard. Everything just had to be so fucking hard. 

Tightly, you grip the bench with your fingers, biting your lip in effort to suppress your emotions.

Slowly, she begins to open the box, pulling out what seemed to be childhood photos of Jin. 

A genuine smile appears on her face as she begins to show you them, wet tears splashing onto the squared photos, “I—” she stutters, “I wanted you to have these,” she begins to explain, handing some of the photos off to you, “I tried looking for the photos and videos he’d take when you two met but,” she frowns, “but I don’t if he threw them away or—” she begins to ramble, “so I brought you these instead. I’m sorry they’re not of the exact memory you have of him,” she feigns a chuckle, “you know Seokjin,” she scratches the back of her neck, reminding you of exactly where Jin got his mannerisms from, “he never did like taking pictures.”

She flips through more of the photos, “I’m sorry there’s not that many,” her voice shakes, “I just—”

She needed to keep her memories of him too, is what you know she wants to say. 

You notice that she’s also thrown some of Jin’s favorite things in the box, his denim jacket, the original little Mario figure he had always kept on his bed stand and his favorite Mariah Carey album, Daydream.

“I understand Mrs. Kim,” you softly say, “Thank you,” you whisper to her, embracing her in a tight hug.

“I should be the one thanking you,” she says in return. Thank you for loving him, are the unspoken words that linger in the air.

“I should—” you lower your gaze, “I should get going,” you say, feeling as if the world was spinning, your breathing now becoming rapid.

With the cardboard box in your hands, she watches as you hurriedly leave, only hoping that rather than haunt you, things could one day get better for you.

Running as far as you could, you hide behind a pillar. 

It was all too much. 

Everything was just too much.

Finally, silent sobs escape your mouth as you squat against the cement pillar. Grabbing his jacket from the box, you sob into it. 

You just couldn’t let go.

As much as you wanted this all to be some horrible nightmare, you knew deep down it wasn’t. This mind numbing pain was all too real and unbearable for it to be some dream. You weren’t going to be waking up and finding Jin by your bedside, you weren’t going to hear his high pitched laugh ever again, and you weren’t ever going to be able to tell him just how much you still loved him.  

Because Kim Seokjin was never coming back.

Your Jin was never coming back. 

And it was completely all your fault for it. It was all your stupid miserable fault. If only you had—

“Y/N?” Seojun crouches down to face you, genuine concern on his face. “You’re—” he stutters, “You’re gonna get sick standing out here,” he wipes your snotty nose with his suit’s handkerchief.  

Seojun was trying. He was trying to be as supportive as he could, and you understood that, truly you did. But just looking at him was a reminder of your choice because at the end of the day he was the person you chose over—

“It’s going to get dark soon y/n,” he whispers, “I-I think we should get going.”

You stare at him in silence and then turn to face the direction of the grave.

He wanted you to say goodbye.

But you just … you just weren’t ready to.

Because there lied the boy you were once so certain you’d have a future with. The boy who was capable of making you laugh even on gloomy days like this. The one who loved you on your good and bad days. The one who stood in a room full of people just to tell you how much he still loved you, something you knew he was probably so nervous about. 

And so you just couldn’t let go.

But knowing you’d couldn’t stay here forever, you had to do the most humane thing you could possibly do. You had to live on.  

“And so I did, all for him…”

“Yeojin!” you grab your mischievous 4 year old from the waist, stopping her blatant attempt at touching the stove, “What did I say about trying to touch the stove,” you scold her, and all she does is giggle, clearly unaware of the potential consequences of her actions. 

Sadly you couldn’t be too mad, she was still learning right from wrong, but when it came to things like this, it was hard to keep your patience.

Carrying her up the stairs, you continue to scold her, “Remember what I said about it being hot,” you remind her, “you don’t want to end up with your fingers all red, do you?”

She nods her head no, “Of course not mommy.”

“Then,” you sigh, placing your little girl on her bed.

“Daddy said I’m in-de-struct-ible,” she sounds out the new word she’s recently learned, “Like Spiderman!” she mimics the superhero’s web shooting ability, the movie she just saw recently still clearly still in her mind.

“Okay Spiderman, I think it’s time you take a nap,” you say, and she mumbles something inaudible in return, “Hey hey, don’t go giving attitude now little lady,” you hide your smile, “it’s too early for all of that.”

Though not wanting to sleep, she allows you to tuck her in, already planning to get up and play with her toys once you left.

Taking note of her grumpy attitude, you place a kiss on her forehead, gently combing a hand through her hair, “I love you,” you coo.

“I love you too Mommy,” and before you knew it, her eyes were closed, the little girl now “sound asleep”, or at least that’s what you thought.

Sighing, you leave the room, gently closing the door. 

That girl was a handful, most definitely, but she was everything you had in this world. Your symbol to keep moving forward, despite that constant need to look back.

Going down the stairs, you hum Mariah Carey’s new song, “We Belong Together” , the famous singer’s latest comeback single having topped the charts these days.

“When you left I lost a—” the smell of something burning gathers your attention, the intense scent of cooking oil alarming you that something was wrong. Your mind goes back to when you grabbed Yeojin from reaching the stove, her arm clearly outstretched—

Boom!

The kitchen illuminates an intense shade of red, a fire now starting from the stove, “Oh my—” immediately you run up the stairs because despite your mind being in utter chaos, one thing was clear: you had to get Yeojin out of here.

Frantically turning the knob to her door, you come to realize that it’s locked, “Yejin!” you yell.

“Mommy, I’m playing!” she giggles, oblivious to the danger you both were in.

You practically begin to punch the door, “Yejin I need you to open the door!” your breathing becomes heavy, panic now flowing in your veins. Smoke was beginning to reach upstairs, signaling to you that this fire was moving fast, dangerously fast.

Taking a deep breath, you take a couple of steps back from her door, “1..2…” using all your force, you ram into the door, effectively opening it in the process.

Without a second thought you grab Yeojin, wrapping one of her blankets around her body and face, immediately running down the stairs as fast as you possibly could. 

By now the whole entire living room and kitchen were in flames, and you could hear Yeojin begin to whimper, confused as to what was going on.

“Everything’s gonna be okay baby,” you soothe her, your hand regrettably grabbing the door knob.

Immediately you hiss in pain, retracting your hand, “Oh God,” your hand felt as if it was sizzling. 

There was no way you could get to the window, not without risking your daughter’s safety.

Preparing yourself for what you were about to do, you mentally reassure yourself, completely grabbing the door handle and twisting it, withholding the screams you desperately wanted to let out until you were out.  

Running out, you place your daughter on the neighbor's front yard, the family immediately coming to assist you.

By now the whole neighborhood was standing outside their houses, concern and worry evident on their faces, “Oh my God y/n,” your neighbor notices the burn on your hand, “Go grab the kit in the basement!” she instructs her son.

By now, your breathing was erratic, a result of all the smoke you had inhaled, “T-The f-fire de—”

“We’ve already called them, they should be on their way. I’ve called Seojun’s job as well—” she immediately reassures you, “You need to relax y/n,” she tells you, but immediately your mind goes to something inside your house that was irreplaceable.

Mrs. Kim’s box.

Getting up from the lawn, you hear Yeojin call out to you, “Mommy!” she yells as you begin to run back to the house, focused on one thing and one thing only. 

Getting that box.

“Y/N!” your neighbor tries to get you to come back, but by then you were already making your way inside, using your shirt as a cover for both your mouth and nose, a measly attempt at having more time inside the house.

Running up stairs, you barge into your room, immediately looking to the spot in your closet where you always had the box, but to your shocking surprise… it wasn’t there.

“What the…” you mumble to yourself, your lungs beginning to feel heavy again. 

Without a second thought, you begin to ravage the room, knowing your time in here was limited. The fire was going to reach up the stairs at any moment, and once it did, it was over for you.

“What the fuck!” you yell to the empty room, feeling as if you were on the verge of an utter mental breakdown. It had to be here! There was no way you moved it, and Seojun knew better than to touch it. Putting a halt to your search, your eyes widen when you come to realize something.

What the hell was Yeojin playing with?

The Mario figure.

And in the blink of an eye, you run out the room, only to find the hallway now engulfed in flames, making it almost impossible to get into her room, not unless you wanted to burn to death.

“No…” you say under your breath, refusing to believe the box was in there. Your vision was beginning to get hazy and your head was pounding, now unsure if it was because of the fire or if it was because of the state of shock you were in. Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you hear the sound of the firetrucks nearing the house.

“Seokjin…” your voice breaks, realizing that the final things you had to remember him by were now gone. But despite your state of grief, your body knew it had to move on its own. Because by staying here, you’d inevitably die, and he wouldn't want that, not because of something like this.

Lifting up the window in your bedroom, you begin to slowly place your body out, trying your best to work with one hand. The fire was beginning to get to your bedroom, and you simply couldn’t afford to wait for the firemen to come with a ladder.

Sucking the pain up for one final time, you place your injured hand onto the ledge as well, now dangling outside the window, a scream of pain coming out of your mouth.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” you hear Seojun call out to you, “I’m gonna get you help, just hang on!” he yells, immediately running back to the front yard to presumably tell a fireman.

But the pain on your hand was just too much.

You needed to let go.

Even if it meant getting hurt in the process.

And soon you feel the impact of the floor, your arm taking mosting of the hit, most definitely dislocating. The last thing you see being the paramedics.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look what I made for you with all the other kids who were visiting their mommies and daddies!” Yeojin eagerly shows you the scribbling piece of art she created from her car seat, a toothy grin on her face.

“It looks amazing Yeojin,” you feign a smile, trying your best to act normal. Today you had been discharged from the hospital after about 2 weeks of getting your hand and arm treated along with having multiple tests ran because of the amount of smoke you inhaled.

Now, with bandages wrapped around your hand and a heavy cast, which the doctor said would take about two to three months to completely heal, you were on your way to your new (temporary) home. The fire had ravaged absolutely everything, sparing not a single thing in its sight.

It was your fault really, you shouldn't have had the cooking oil so close to the stove, especially without its cap on.

You turned your attention to Seojun, his quietness during the whole car ride not going unnoticed by you. It seemed as if whenever he did talk or laugh, it was unmistakingly fake.

Deciding you weren’t going to press him on it in front of Yeojin, you tell Yeojin to go upstairs to her room once you arrive.

Sighing, you place your things on the dining table, your free arm now feeling sore from its now constant use. 

You attempt to make small conversation with your husband, “The insurance company called me at the hospital, said almost everything was covered…” you bring up, but he remains stoic.

You try again, “Yeojin seems to have made a lot of friends, with the way she was rambl—”

He finally breaks his silence by interrupting you, “Why did you do it...” he mumbles, causing your eyebrows to perk up, “Why did you run back into that fire?” he asks, trying to contain his anger.

You feel your body freeze for a moment before answering, “I told you already, I wanted to get the papers in the sa—”

He’s quick to cut you off, venom in his voice, “Stop lying,” he grits his teeth, “There was—” he shakes his head, “There was only one thing in that house that I’m sure you’d risk your life for Y/N, so let’s stop acting dense here…”

You lower your gaze, silence filling the room.

“You could’ve died y/n,” he whispers, and your silence only peeves him, “Died!” he repeats, wanting you to understand the possible severity of your actions.

Narrowing your gaze, you scoff, “You think I don’t know that,” you spit back, not exactly fond of how he was treating you, as if you weren’t a grown woman capable of understanding the consequences of your actions.

“No I don’t think you do,” he retorts back, “Because if you did then you wouldn’t have ever gone back inside that house to begin with!” his voice becomes louder.

“You’re going to wake her up,” you refer to Yeojin, who was probably taking a nap in her room.

It was now his turn to scoff, “Like you care.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you growl in return.

“You almost left her without a mother!” he finally yells, “All for that goddamn—” he stops himself midway, unable to finish the sentence.

You glare at him, knowing exactly what he wanted to say, your eyes already getting watery at the thought of it, “Say it,” you challenge him, “Say what you’ve been wanting to say for all these years,” you mutter.

“He’s gone y/n…” he tiredly whispers under his breath, maintaining your gaze, “He’s been gone for 4 years now!” he cries out, and you feel your face twist in anguish.

“Shut up,” you mutter.

“It’s time to accept it y/n, you can’t keep letting him haunting you, you can’t keep being in deni—”

“Just shut up!” you yell but he relents.

“Life has moved on y/n,” his voice breaks, “it’s time that you do too!”

“But I have! Can’t you see?” tears are uncontrollably falling down your face by now, “I stayed with you despite it all!” you scream, now heaving in anger, “I had a kid with you, we bought that big old house you always wanted—”

“And why is that y/n? Why did you stay with me after his death, huh? Why?” he asks you, his questions ringing in your head, making you feel as if you were going insane.

“Because I made a choice that day!” you yell loud enough for your voice to echo across the room, everything coming to a haunting silence, “Because I chose you that night, when I could’ve chosen him,” you cry, “And I can’t bring myself to regret that choice, not anymore at least, because regretting you would mean regretting her!” you glance at the stairs, signalling that you were talking about Yejin, “And I just can’t bring myself to do that. I chose you, and I have to deal with that decision for the rest of my life. I got up from that bed years ago and went on with my life all for you—”

He shakes his head, “No you didn’t…” he frowns, “You didn’t…”

You did it for him.

“Y/N he’s dead…” Seojun repeats, his heart still wrenching for you even years later, “it’s time you let go and begin to live for yourself. Not for him, not for me, not for her, but for you,” he grabs your hand, squeezing it in the process, “It’s time you let go.”

You pull your hand back, refusing to accept it, “I just—” you muster up your tears, “I just wanted to save what was left of him. Because without it he just existed in my memory and—” your voice shakes, “and now he really only does. Because now he’s really gone,” you sob,“ Can-Can you really blame me?” you weakly say.

“I can’t,” he says, “but I also can’t keep doing this anymore,” he murmurs, “I’ve tried y/n, I really have. But I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, and I have to prioritize Yeojin first and so I think—” he struggles to continue, “I think we should get a—”

“Divorce,” you scoff, tears still flowing down your face.

He gulps, “I’ve been talking with a lawyer for about a year now, we’d get joint custody, with no need for court because I don’t see us having to make this a longer process than it needs to be.” 

“You’re not taking my daughter away from me,” you clench your teeth. 

“I know I’m not and I wasn’t planning on it because damn it y/n, you’re an amazing mother. Truly, you are. But—” he pauses, “But until you find closure and acceptance then I think—I think she should stay with me for the meanwhile, until you’re ready that is.”

Until you’re ready to let go.

By now you were fully sobbing again because not only were you unable to control your emotions, but because you knew he was right. Ever since Seokjin’s death, he was the one who had to hear you silently cry at night, the one who had to accept that no matter what Seokjin would always be the one dearest to you, and who secretly hoped that with time it’d be something you’d get past.

Had it been anyone else, and you were sure they would’ve left you the day Seokjin passed. But Seojun was different, Seojun understood. But he couldn’t prioritize you anymore, not with Yeojin now in the picture.

You feel his arms wrap themselves around your frame, comforting you for a final time, “I’m sorry, for everything,” he whispers.

“Me too Seojun,” you hum in return, “Me too.”

The smell of the fresh rain hitting the concrete headstones fills your nose as you make your way to the resting place of the person you once loved the most. You hadn’t been here since the funeral, too in denial to ever really visit.

It had been three months since your separation with Seojun, your arm now fully healed. Currently, you were staying at a small apartment near your parent’s house, still unable to bring yourself to stay at their place. Not with the amount of memories it brought on.

The last you’d heard, Mrs. Kim had also moved, and you assumed it was for the same reason you couldn’t bring yourself to go back home. It was just too much.

Placing the red roses on top of the headstone, you make yourself comfortable by sitting on the grass, not caring if it was moist from the rain.

You just wanted to talk to him.

“I’m getting divorced, you know?” you begin, deciding to catch him up on recent events, “Things didn’t seem to work out between me and Seojun,” you chuckle, staring at your now naked ring finger ,“Not that you hadn’t predicted it already.”

Silence.

“We had a daughter together,” you mention the hyper little girl, “Her name is Yeojin, I think you would’ve loved the name,” you say, “She—”already you feel tears beginning to well up in your eyes, “She sorta laughs like you, that same kind of laugh that unintentionally makes everyone around her laugh,” you begin to ramble, “she seems to like Mariah Carey as much as you too, she’s the only artist we’ve noticed that can get Yeojin up and dancing. I’m sure she would’ve loved to dance with you,” tears begin to fall from your eyes.

The soft sprinkles of the rain surprisingly soothe you. 

“God, I’m such a crybaby,” you mumble, remembering how Jin would tease you for your sensitivity to things, “It’s just so hard, you know? Sometimes it still feels like you’ll walk through the door with a VHS movie you just rented in your hand, talking about how excited you are to see it after hearing reviews,” you laugh, “or that you’ll come in the room to tell me to fix your hair after cutting it crookedly.”

You place your hand on his headstone, softly grazing your palm against its rough surface, “You know scientist theorize that there’s possibly billions to an infinite number of parallel universes out there,” you chuckle, “I learned about it in my introductory course to Physics my first year in college, I don’t know if you remember me babbling about it,” you continue, “But it means that there are cosmic patches which are exactly like ours where everything has happened exactly like this one, meaning somewhere out there there’s someone exactly like us, except they have the possibility to do things different. And so... I wonder in which universe did we get our happy ending?” you solemnly ask, “I—”

“Y-Y/N?” a familiar voice says your name from behind, and immediately you turn to face the person.

“Mr-Mr.Kim?” you say in disbelief, as you hadn’t seen the man in years. Not since the final year you were still with Jin. 

You scan his appearance, wrinkles and gray hairs now more prevalent on him, but yet he still looked like the spitting image of his son. He just looked more … tired.

He places the flowers in his hands next to yours, silently taking a seat next to you. You were still staring at him in shock as he was the last person you would’ve expected to see today.

“It’s—It’s been a while,” he says, and originally you were unsure if he was saying it to you or his son, that was until he turned his attention towards you.

Silently, you nod, unsure of what to say, “Yeah,” you mumble.

“Do you often come here?” he asks.

Ashamed, you nod your head no, “This is actually my first time since the funeral,” you confess.

He hums a response, not in a place to judge, “Nothing to be ashamed about little girl, we all have our own ways of grieving and coping with a loss,” and you’re surprised to hear such comforting words from him. In the years you’d known him, you couldn’t recall a time where you had an actual genuine conversation with him. It was depressing that it had to be now.

“Do—” you hesitate, “Do you?” you gulp, “Do you often come here?” you repeat his question. 

Coughing first, he then responds, “Every Friday since his funeral,” his fingers tremble, and you were unsure if was because of his age or because of the topic he was currently talking about, “I do it to catch up with my boy, keep him up to date with the things you young people are doing,” he explains, eyes now glistening, “it’s the least I could do for him,” he mumbles.

A silence follows after.

Feeling bold, you ask him something you’d been curious about for a long time, “Why didn’t you come to the funeral?”

He stares at the headstone, “I—” he sighs, “He was my first born, my first son, my—” he hardens his jaw to prevent himself from crying, “The night it happened he called the house, asking me to go pick him up. I had been tired from work that night, so I went to sleep early,” you feel your heart twist, “If I hadn’t overworked myself that day, I could have picked up that phone call and told him to stay where he was, that I’d be there in no time because at the end of the day he was my son who I loved like no other, even if we had a rocky relationship. He still called his dad for help, and I—” he takes a deep breath in, feeling himself lose control, “I let him down,” he ultimately says, “And so I let the guilt eat me alive, to the point where I felt like I didn’t deserve to go to my son’s funeral.”

You stare at him in silence, understanding exactly what he felt. For you had felt that same guilt all these years.

“I quit my job following his death, and fell into a deep depression like no other. Yerin and I were even close to getting a divorce, the loss of our son adding a strain to our marriage,” he explains, “She had managed to accept and let go of her pain, but for me it was just too much. I couldn’t accept that he was gone,” he pauses, “I just couldn’t let go.” 

A single tear falls from his eye.  

“I was breathing , but no longer was I living,” he continues, “And so I needed to learn how to live for myself. I needed to accept that he was gone. I needed to say goodbye, even if it hurt to do so,” he smiles solemnly to himself, “because once I finally did, it was liberating.”

“And it was in that moment while talking with Mr. Kim that I’d come to realize that in order to start living for myself, that it was time to let go, that it was time to say goodbye.”

Getting up from the grass, you stare at Seokjin’s grave for one final time, for it was time to accept the cruel fate that had been given in this awful tale. One day you’d be back, that you were sure, but for now all that was left for you to say was....

“Goodbye Seokjin,” you whisper, ready to begin again.

Jimin and Jia stare at you in silence, both having dried tears and disbelief written on their faces. This couldn’t be how the story ended, right?

But it was.

“So you really have nothing to remember him by?” Jia asks, and you point to your forehead.

“Sadly all ll I have is this,” you say, “but for me that’s more than enough.”

You turn your attention towards Jimin, “And so here I am, having told you this story in order to teach you that you shouldn’t let your fears get in the way of allowing yourself to be happy, ” you say, “Because then you’ll live a life of nothing but regret,” and immediately he gets up from his seat.

“Where the hell are you—” Jia’s about to ask him something until you raise a finger, signaling to her to let him be.

“I’m-” he stutters, “I’m going to get my girlfriend back,” he breathes out, squeezing past Jia, “T-Thank you Ms. y/l/n. I mean it,” he says, and you only smile in return.

“I should be the one thanking you,” you whisper to yourself, watching as he hurriedly leaves the diner.

Placing money on the table, Jia smiles at you, “Come on Grandma, let’s go home,” she hugs you once you get up, making a new vow to herself to appreciate those around her and never take anything for granted. Just like Jimin had learned, she had to live for herself.

“Finally! I know I told you that you could stay out as long as you wanted but I didn’t think—” Yeojin is interrupted by the embrace of her daughter arm’s. Confused by the sudden act of affection, she narrows her eyes, “If this is some trick into getting your phone little—”

“Shhh,” Jia complains, “I can’t hug my mom?”

Allowing her skepticism to pass, Yeojin returns the hug, “Movie night?” she asks her daughter and immediately she nods.

You smile at the sight, making your way up the stairs and into your room.

Slowly, you crouch under the bed, pulling out a worn out box from under your bed, grabbing a small flash drive out of it in the process.  Placing the now vintage item into the plug-in of your TV, your mind flashes back to that last conversation you had with Mr. Kim. 

“Wait,” Mr. Kim stops you from leaving, pulling something out of his suit’s breast pocket, in what seemed to be a flash drive?

Handing you the small item, you look at him confused, “I found it in his room when we moved, not too long after his passing, I’m guessing he must’ve converted it before breaking that old camera of his and well I always carried it around just in case—” he pauses, “Just in case I ever bumped into you.”

You furrow your brows, why was he telling you this now? Why didn’t he look for you instead? 

As if reading your mind he says, “Because you’ve finally said your goodbye,” he smiles, “watch this when you’re finally allowed to look back. " 

Pressing play, you stare at the screen in front of you.

“Seokjin!” the person behind the camera sighs, “Seokjin!” Mrs. Kim yells again, and the camera begins to shake, presumably because the person was now going down the stairs.

The camera soon pans to the twins, both of them giggling at the cameraman's antics, “Say hiiii,” he cooes. And soon the door he’s recording opens and the camera pans to a 17 year old you, an awkward expression being worn on your face.

“Woah,” he whispers, zooming in on your face.

Your eyes begin to water as you watch the recorded memory.

“Seokjin, but you can call me Jin for short,” he introduces himself, the camera now recording the wall beside him, probably because of how he was carrying it in that moment.

The scene then changes.

“Come on, you know you wanna smileeee,” Jin sings, he closes the camera to your face, ultimately making you smile.

“Well cheers to a new friendship,” Taehyung announces and Jin records you all lifting your hands in the air.

The scene changes again.

“This is her first time eating kongguksu everyone,” Jin announces.

“Who are you even talking to?” you roll your eyes, grabbing the noodles with your chopsticks.

“To the people of the future!”

And you recall how Jin had winked at you that time, causing your crush on him to begin to grow more intense.

Your face gets red as he continues to record you. Taking a slurp of the noodles, you try to cover your face.

“Well what do you think?” he asks.

Your face twists, “Mmmm I don’t know,” you mumble, the taste not exactly being your favorite.

“Boooo!”

You flash him the middle finger.

The scene changes.

“Y/N” the camera begins to move around, and your giggles begin to get louder, “Hand that back to me!” the camera begins to move in an up and down motion, probably because whoever was holding it was running.

Soon the person gets tackled, but not before panning the camera onto Seokjin’s face.

“And the recorder finally gets recorded,” you laugh, and Jin attempts to cover his face, but you’re quick to remove his hands. He awkwardly avoids eye contact, allowing you to record his face.

You feel your breath hitch. It was Jin… the Jin you knew, the Jin you fell in love with. Right there in front of you.

Looking at the camera he quickly makes a kissy face, making you shriek in excitement. “There you have it folks,” you tease him, “Kim Seokjin being the model he is…”

He rolls his eyes, now attempting to reach for the camera.

“Okay okay, that’s enough,” he groans as you relent.

“Smileeee!”

The scene changes for a final time, and you see Jin sitting in his room, facing the camera you presumed he had set up. 

“Hello!” he awkwardly waves to the camera, “If you’re watching this it means one, you’ve been snooping around in this room or two, you’re Y/N.”

You feel your heart skip a beat, and your body going numb.

“Ah I don’t know how to start this,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “When I first met you, I thought you were really pretty,” he begins, “and I knew I wanted to be your friend! What I didn’t think was going to happen was that I’d end up really really realllyyyy liking you,” he laughs, “I’ve been trying to tell you for some time now,” his voice cracks, and immediately he begins to cough, trying to make himself sound as manly as possible, “So I thought why not tell you the best way I knew how … through film! That way I’ll let this video do all the work for me,” he smiles.

You laugh at how endearing he was.

“Hopefully you like me too because if not then I feel really bad for the future Jin who’s probably attentively watching your reaction and crossing his fingers. I made this collage of memories using the shitty editing programs we have at the school library so sorry if it’s not exactly the best, but …. I hope this is something you can look back on in the future and be glad I recorded, even if you complained all the time.”

Look at him, predicting the future.

“So… I’ll leave it to the future Jin to handle the rest,” he laughs, “Byeeee!” he waves to the camera. His final goodbye.

5 years later.

“Mom, slow down!” Yeojin instructs, worried about how fast you were trying to walk.

“If you can’t keep up with me, an 80 year old lady, then that should be a concern for you, not for me!” you continue with your daily walk, enjoying the spring weather. 

“If you’re not careful you cou—” Yeojin suddenly stops speaking, now having caught up to you. “Mom?” Yeojin asks, concerned as to what you two were staring at with such a shocked expression on your face. Following your gaze, she notices a man staring at you a little girl tugging at his shirt.

“Daddy! I wanna play on the swings!” she pouts at the lack of attention her father was giving her. Immediately you recognize the woman sitting on the bench behind them, remembering her once crying face which was now replaced with a grin as she carried a second (younger) child in her arms.

Slowly the man raises his hand, waving at you with a warm smile on his face.

A single tear falls from your eye as you wave back, your heart swelling at the sight.

And as quick as the moment was, it ended just as fast. As slowly, you began to walk away, while he went on to play with this young daughter. Two strangers crossing paths for a final time. 

“Do you know that man?” Yeojin cluelessly asks, confused about the exchange that just happened in front of her.

You nod your head, a smile still on your face, “No,” you chuckle, “No I don’t,” you ultimately say, continuing with your walk.

a/n: whew ! & that’s the end ! if you’ve made it this far then i want to personally thank you! i don’t really expect this story to get many notes well because it’s sad and well ik i personally don’t normally click on major character death fics haha. if you enjoyed this fic then (if you can) please please please leave a comment/review/like/reblog (whichever works best for you) and you can always hop in my ask box for any questions or comments :) im thinking of making an alternative ending for this one day, maybe after i finish the whole tun series, but we’ll see haha. ill see yall next time ! <3

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[maria-scribbles]

cocoa

sick of hearing his parents fight day after day, reggie goes to the one person who knows exactly what he's going through: the pretty violinist who lives next door.

fandom: julie and the phantoms

ship: alive!reggie x reader

word count: 1.5k+

featuring: swearing (as always), fighting, allusion to an abusive relationship, general sadness, mention of a family member’s death

a/n: day 2 of my holiday challenge: hot chocolate! this is kind of depressing and i'm sorry, sad!reggie was stuck in my head and he wouldn't leave until i wrote this but it has kind of a hopeful ending tho so i guess that counts for something? this is also my first time writing for this fandom so forgive me if it sucks. as usual, unbetaed so all mistakes are my b.

come join my holiday challenge!

December 1994

They were fighting again. It was the same old story: his dad being an ass on purpose, his mom taking the bait, wash, rinse, repeat. Their shouts rang harshly throughout the house, gloomy and miserable despite the cheerful decorations strung up in every room and the massive Christmas tree downstairs, dressed in its festive best and looking like it came straight out of a seasonal catalog.

Reggie had gone to them at the beginning of the month, begging them not to fight, please; his everyday life was already ruined by their screaming matches and the only thing he wanted for Christmas was some peace, quiet and civility to celebrate his favorite holiday. His father had pretended not to hear his son's pleas, ignoring him completely like he always did while his mother offered a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"We'll try, honey." She'd said and he knew it was a lie. His mother always lied, his father always threw a plate at her head, Reggie always wished he had the courage to run away for good, like Luke did. But he wasn't Luke, he never would be, and he just didn't have it in him to leave them, even though he was the one who came out worse for wear after each fight.

The distant shatter of ceramic drifting up the stairs was his cue to go until things cooled down again -he never stuck around after the first dish got thrown, not anymore, the scar on his arm the perfect reminder why- and so he jimmied open the window of his room and climbed down the trellis into the salty air, the crashing waves of the Pacific covering his escape like a blanket.

(He could've stormed down the stairs and slammed the door behind him and his parents still wouldn't have noticed he left but something about sneaking out and risking a broken bone made him feel alive, the same rush he felt when he was on stage, bass humming in his hands, performing alongside his bandmates and knowing they felt it, too.)

Even outside, the echoes of his parents' angry voices still rang in his ears, haunting him all the way to the house next door, its sparkling lights shining brightly and guiding him through the darkening night like a beacon. The driveway sat empty, sans for one lone bicycle haphazardly lying on its side in front of the garage and he carefully propped it up on its kickstand before climbing the stairs to the front porch.

The faint sound of a slow, somber violin came to a stop as he knocked on the door, followed by a quiet, familiar voice Reggie knew like the back of his hand.

"It's open."

He found Y/N alone on the couch, eyes downcast and fingers fiddling with the strings of the violin on her lap and she glanced up at the tap of his boots on the hardwood floor, face brightening the slightest bit at the sight of her friend rounding the corner into the living room. 

The girl didn't speak as she gently placed the instrument aside and stood, meeting him halfway and throwing her arms around his neck to draw him into a crushing hug. His own arms wrapped around her waist and held her just as tightly, his head resting on her shoulder, and the warm vanilla scent of her soft hair tickling his nose helped calm the storm in his heart.

"I'm sorry, Reg." Her voice was low and soothing in his ear and he didn't know how he could possibly hold her any tighter than he already was but he managed as he replied, "I'm sorry, too."

While his parents fought like wildfire, explosive and loud and raging with the wrong type of passion, hers were like a deep freeze, icy and cold and desolate in the worst possible way. Too many times Y/N was left to her own devices, all alone in an empty house with her thoughts and a violin her only company (at least they had given her that, the gift of music and a beautiful, expensive instrument to prove their love was real, albeit superficial).

It was some time later before she pulled back just far enough to look him in the eye and brushed a wayward strand of his dark hair back from his forehead with one calloused finger. "Okay, pity party's over. It's almost Christmas and we're not spending it being sad about shitty parents. Deal?"

She held out her pinky with one eyebrow raised expectantly and grinned when he nodded and hooked his pinky around hers. Reggie loved really liked that about her, the way she could just make all the heartache and pain and disappointment vanish from his mind like magic and replace them with thoughts of her and her sunny smile, her big heart, her touch that made the very blood in his veins spark like lightning. Y/N was his bright spot, his safe haven, and while Luke, Alex, and Bobby knew what he was going through, they just didn't understand like she did (they had their own problems to deal with, anyway, so he couldn't blame them).

"Good, now come on," She wrapped the rest of her fingers around his hand and started tugging him down the hall to the kitchen. "You're helping me make hot chocolate."

"Peppermint?" He asked, smiling when she glanced up at him with an offended look on her face.

"Duh. Only a heathen would make it without peppermint, Reginald."

Another thing he liked about her: she never did anything halfway; half-assing things, taking the easy way out, cutting corners just wasn't her style. It even applied to hot chocolate apparently, as he watched her flutter around the kitchen with practiced ease -heating milk and cream on the stove, measuring sugar and chocolate, slowly adding drops of peppermint oil- and despite her saying he was going to help, the only thing he got to do was crush some candy canes. Not that he minded, though, because while his hands could play bass like no one's business, they were a total disaster when it came to cooking and he knew Y/N was well aware of that fact, considering it took a week for the burnt popcorn smell to fade from her microwave the last time he tried. 

The violinist smiled and proudly handed him the finished drink, whipped cream piled high and candy cane bits almost overflowing from the edge of a red mug. "This is my grandma's recipe," She said, one hand holding a purple mug for herself and the other reaching to grab onto his wrist and pull him out the front door. "She'd always make it when she came to visit for the holidays and we'd sit out on the porch and watch the ocean, each and every year." 

"She was the best," Reggie said as the two sat together on the porch swing, his right side flush against her left. "I still have dreams about her cookies and wake up drooling."

The cool ocean breeze ruffled Y/N's hair and carried her laugh off down the beach. "She loved you, you know that? She was always talking about 'that nice boy next door.' Pretty sure she wanted us to get married."

"I loved her, too." He took a sip of his drink in an attempt to hide the blush that was taking over his entire face. "And we still have time for the whole marriage thing."

"I'm still waiting for my ring." She laughed again before looking down at the mug in her hands, voice becoming quiet as she replied, "I really miss her. She was the only person in my family who actually cared about me 'cause my parents sure as hell don't."

He wanted to tell her she was wrong but he knew it'd be a lie and he never did that, refusing to become a pathological liar like his mother, so instead he just wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side. "Hey, no more talk about shitty parents, remember?"

"Sorry, I know," She took a long sip of her cocoa, then rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. "I just feel alone sometimes when you're not around. I mean, you have your band and I always had my grandma to talk to but now she's gone and I'm kind of...lost."

"You have the band, too, Y/N! Alex and Luke love you and Bobby, well, he's Bobby. No one really knows what goes on in that guy's head but I know he thinks you're cool. We all do, especially me, and you should know you're never alone 'cause you'll always have us."

The girl abruptly sat up and grabbed the mug from Reggie's hand before he could blink and placed it alongside her own on the floor, then threw her arms around his neck in another one of her fierce hugs.

"Has anyone told you how fucking amazing you are?" 

"You just did." He buried his blushing face in her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist once again. "I'm serious, Y/N. You'll always have me."

"And you'll always have me, Reg. No matter what."

And as they sat there on the porch swing, wrapped in each other's arms, Reggie knew as long as he had Y/N in his life, things were gonna be okay.

#obxmermaidholiday #julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp imagine #reggie jatp #reggie x reader #reggie x y/n #jatp fic

[beeexx]

Fic: Winter

4 tattoos on TK’s body, 4 stories set over each of the 4 season. Carlos and TK grow closer.

Read part one and two or the whole thing on my ao3 .

---------- When Carlos was younger he used to love Christmas, loved the lights, the food, the music and spending time with his family. He still likes all that but ever since becoming a police officer and seeing how absolutely crackers everyone gets over Christmas he has reassessed that notion thoroughly and decided that he only enjoys Christmas when he can completely shut off the outside world and escape the insane nonsens, then, yes Christmas is lovely. Having been single for the majority of his time on the force always makes him the first pick for working on the 25th, and this year is no different. So, he sees TK on the 24th before Gwyenth flies in and it’s sweet and fun but he feels TK might want to spend it alone with him next year, the seriousness of their relationship starting to require that they create some traditions of their own, and the 25th on a full 24 hour shift and then the 26th he goes home to his parents. 

New Years comes along, it’s calm for him, he’s working the next day and he drinks sparkling water and coke for the whole evening they spend at Grace and Judd with the 126, Carlos has become an unofficial member of. He’s grown close with them all since starting dating TK and it’s not unusual for him to get his own invitation to stuff, sometimes even without TK. Mateo sends him texts asking dating advice, Paul will ask questions about cooking and recipes and he and Marjan have taken up playing padel together. So he’s definitely part of the group for sure and it’s lovely being surrounded by people who know each other so well that there are almost more alcohol free options than there are actual alcohol, food from all sorts of different countries and traditions and a warm atmosphere around as they watch the fireworks together out on the deck, celebrating the coming of a new year.

He drives TK home to Owen pretty early and TK gives him sad puppy dog eyes before he drags him into the back of the car for some light fooling around and very heated kissing that would definitely not have been approved of at Judd and Grace’s party before he regretfully has to leave if he wants to be able to work at all come morning. The choice of staying over is so tempting but Carlos knows he would struggle too much the next day when he would be forced to leave a very hot and cute and snuggly boyfriend while he has to work. So he kisses the love of his life passionately on the street, so much so that he looks completely dazed and confused when Carlos pulls away and tells him he loves him and that he promises to make it up to him the next time they are off together and TK, with his stern face on, makes him promise that he will.

But Carlos has been working a lot this winter, he knows, it's a habit, leftover from a long time of being single that he’s had a hard time shaking. He doesn’t like winter, it’s the only time of the year he’s usually always felt lonely, with all the holidays coming up being forced into social gatherings where questions are always asked whether he’s single or not and it used to grate endlessly on his nerves. And if he’s sometimes taken shifts on the days after or on the actual days to avoid the questions, well no one has to know.

Only this year he’s been so distracted that he’s forgotten he’s already accepted all these shifts almost a year before, before he was officially together with TK the way they are now, and the unfortunate result of this is that they have have become completely unmatched in their schedules which makes TK look more and more sad every time he has to leave him to go to work. It’s making Carlos’ sad too but because he’s worked so much recently, he’s made sure to switch his shifts around with a colleague so he’ll get three days off in a row, matching them all up with TK’s, and that’s what he thinks about every time he feels guilty about it.

But growing close with TK’s friends also means that he gets 15 texts in a row from Mateo, and five calls that have him promising to come to his party the Friday after the new year, because that’s his life now. And of course he’s late, because nothing ever goes his way and he’s barely had the time to change and shower when at home, basically just throwing on black jeans and a white t-shirt hoping that it will do and that he won’t be completely underdressed for the occasion. It turns out that isn’t the actual issue.  

The issue is that apparently TK has had the time to choose clothes that make him look absolutely sinfully hot in his ridiculously tight jeans and pink button down that has one too many buttons left undone, teasing skin, his chain as always around his neck, part of his flower tattoo on exhibition for too many to see. Not that Carlos is the jealous type, but his boyfriend is attractive as hell and he’s definitely not the only one who has noticed that.

Which introduces the other issue.

“Oh my god babe, I’m so relieved you are here. I feel old.” TK declares absolutely horrified by having spent the majority of the evening in company with people who are probably old enough to drink because Carlos is not looking forward to arresting anyone, but with the majority of them being under 25, maybe?

But he agrees, everyone is so millennial here, like too millennial even for his tastes that they are all feeling much more like zoomers than anything, yes Carlos spends time on the internet. And he does have a younger sister that age and has spent too much time on calls where he’s been forced to talk to people under 20 feeling very much like they are speaking a completely different language to him. But being here Carlos realises that Mateo is actually a few years younger than him which has never even crossed his mind before, but standing here in Mateo’s new apartment he just moved into it’s becoming clear that Carlos with his 27 years is actually old in comparison to this.

Marjan looks to be having the time of her life though, looking slick and cool in her completely black awesome outfit, having a group of people wrapped around her fingers as they seem to hang onto every word, oohing and aaahing at the right places while Paul is playing on the ps5, him, Marjan and TK got Mateo for Christmas slaying everyone who dares playing against him. TK looks absolutely appaled at having been forced into the company of these people for the past few hours that he’s already been here, and it’s hilarious because sometimes riling TK up and annoying him is a little fun, but Carlos is the best thank you very much and he asks if TK wants to go have sex on Mateo’s bed in retaliation and TK’s eyes grow mischevous by the very idea. 

“Yes, I love that.” He’s much happier already and he’s positively glowing, his slight addiction to misbehaving becoming evidently clear. Marjan stops both of them, wrapping her arms around their shoulders harshly.

“No screwing in probie’s bed.” She chides and TK’s mood sours immediately. 

“Marjan, come on, look at this. I’m too old to be here, I want to have some fun.”

“Perfect, we’re playing truth or dare, you’ll love it.”

TK groans.

But they are forced into the game nonetheless because Paul joins too and when Paul and Marjan’s plans align they are a goddamn unstoppable force and there really isn’t anything you can do to escape it.

So, forced into a game Carlos hasn't played since probably high school is either going to become absolutely disastrous or the most fun he’s had in ages, he hasn’t made up his mind yet. Mateo joins as well and a bunch of other people Carlos is never going to learn the names of join together in the kitchen, TK being well TK sitting on top of the kitchen island, cross legged and leaning against Carlos who is sitting on one of the bar stools, his arms securely around him, sipping a really shitty beer someone gave him before the game started. 

When a girl called Emily gets dared to call an ex of hers to tell him the rules of Monopoly even TK can’t help but laugh because she absolutely kills it, finishing the call with all of them applauding her because that was some Boss as shit to do, even Carlos respects it. 

Lots of the people around them keep shooting lingering glances at him and TK, not judgeful ones, Carlos would probably fake threaten to arrest them for prejudice and discrimination if he felt any hostility, no, they are curious, kind, a little intruding maybe, but it’s done out of an eagerness, maybe at seeing a gay couple so openly happy and relaxed together that they can’t help themselves. Or maybe they’re checking them out and Carlos will accept that as a compliment without it getting to his head. When he leans forward and kisses the back of TK’s head it's obvious it’s become too much for the people around them and a guy called Fred bursts at the seams.

“TK.” He says. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth I guess.” He says nonchalantly. 

“Who tops and who bottoms in the relationship?”

There’s a collective groan in the room and Fred blushes, obviously unaware of his mistake but seems to have enough awareness at least to realise he’s done something stupid. Carlos is just waiting for TK to give the guy a totally inappropriate answer exposing their sex life to a bunch of people who can only dream of ever having as amazing sex as they are having, yeah it’s not nice bragging, but doing it inside of his head where no one can hear isn’t hurting anyone, but it’s not TK who answers, it’s Mateo, beating TK to it. 

“That’s a stupid question Fred, rooted in outdated gender roles while it also reinforces false heteronormative ideas of feminintiy and masculinty onto sex. The idea that you have to be dominant or submissive just because you like to give or receive is just ridiculous, because even you should be aware that depending on the mood, the time or whatever you’re not going to just enjoy one single thing, and if you do, then you’ve clearly only had terrible sex.”

The room grows silent, Carlos' eyes widening as TK holds back his laughter.

“Yeah that, what Mateo said Fred.” TK forces out, coughs to hide how he’s close to absolutely losing it while the room erupts into loud cheering and whistling making both Mateo and Fred blush.

“Daaaamn probie, who would have thought you actually listen when we tell you stuff huh? Good job.” Marjan says while Paul looks like a proud father, absolutely beaming. TK takes pity on Fred who is looking a little dejected.

“Just find yourself a partner that you feel safe and loved by and do some experimenting to see what you like, but make sure to set boundaries too, and you’ll be good to go. Also if you’re straight, respect women, they are the best thing we have.” Fred looks a little relieved as someone beside him pulls him into a rough friendly hug and they move on. 

The game continues and soon everyone has forgotten Fred’s little mistake and the game grows louder and rowdier, Paul drawing the short straw of getting dared to smell everyone’s feet in the room and rank them. 

“Carlos, truth or dare.” These kids are too thrifty for Carlos, he aint getting dared into something stupid.

“Truth.” He settles for. Lily’s eyes land on TK and she smiles sweetly.

“Favourite and least favorite thing about TK.” TK turns his head and grins as Carlos sticks his tongue out.

“Least favorite thing is his messiness and proneness to forgetful spells, you see kids turning 27 can make you a bit forgetful, don't forget to be kind to him tonight.” It sets the whole room off into roaring laughter and Carlos chuckles a little pleased at his own joke as TK glares without any heat, huffs and rolls his eyes. He makes sure to wrap his arms tighter around him.

“My favourite thing about him is his unwavering strength, his big heart and even though he’s struggled and failed and failed again he never gives up on trying to do better. It’s simple, I love him, so it’s easy to love every part of him.” 

Loud AAAWWWWs erupts all over the room and TK’s flush is high on his cheeks as he leans towards Carlos, gently kissing him. A girl sends Lily a look of fondness, both him and TK catching it before she averts her eyes.

“I love you.” TK whispers, only meant for Carlos, and his heart swells from hearing the words for the 100th time. It never seizes to stop taking the breath out of him. 

The game continues, someone making the mistake of daring Marjan to eat a spoon of hot sauce, her face not moving an inch as she swallows it without trouble, Mateo to tell everyone who he’d like to make out with in the room then being dared to do it by Carlos because she looks to be a little interested in Mateo too, while Carlos gets dared to behave like the person to his right which has the whole room dying and the acting lessons he took in high school coming in handy. It doesn’t surprise Carlos that this happens because these people are relentless but then, TK gets dared to give him a goddamn lap dance, the attention bouncing off TK in waves, his elation and cheekiness making him look way too hot while Carlos tries very hard to think of the pile of dishes at home in his sink to distract from not making good on his earlier promises and dragging TK away to Mateo’s room and get laid immediately. He sends Paul a hateful glare who looks smug. 

By the time someone asks the question about TK’s flower tattoo on his chest Carlos has actually gotten a little tipsy, and the youngsters, which most of them aren’t really, because some he’s realised are as old as he is, have grown a lot on him. He’s having a very good time.

“What’s the story behind the flower tattoo, if there is one?” TK leans forward, eyes mischievous.

“It’s funny you should ask.” He begins and Carlos silently groans. 

“So, the story begins when I was in Thailand, gap year and all that, I am sure you’ve been at that point in your life?” Some nod, TK has the attention of the whole room and he grows more and more confident, comfortable with everyone’s attention on him. 

God, this is going to be funny.

“We were partying at my hostel, we got real drunk and I went home with a dude that I had met who were staying at a different place than I was. We were both really drunk, we fooled around in his room, you know what happened next, no details for you dirty buggers. Anyway, in the middle of the night I want a snack so I leave him sleeping. Only that I am still so drunk that I forget that to be able to get back to his room you have to have a key card to get the elevator to take you to the floors. So, only in boxers I take the elevator to the ground floor and try to get the vending machine to give me some chocolate, without any money. I stand there clicking every button I can find, when there’s suddenly a cat on the lobby desk. So drunk as I am my attention is immediately on the cat who wasn’t as much in a cuddly mood as I was.”

Carlos is not drunk enough to buy a word coming out of TK’s mouth, but he’s telling it with such conviction, hands motioning around, having completely captivated the room’s attention that even Marjan looks unsure whether to believe this or not.

“The cat runs away, I forget my hunger and I start to make my way back up to, Simon, that was the guy’s name. I try to find my way back up there, only the elevator doesn’t work because I don’t have a keycard so I’m screwed but of course too drunk to realise this. The elevator keeps going up and down though as people come and go and I’m there just in my boxers like a total loser. Basically someone must have thought that I was a prostitute because someone called the police who came to get me. They were so friendly by the way and so sweet, and there I am in my boxers out on the street so drunk I can barely remember my own name trying to answer questions about what my phone number is and where I live.”

He pauses for dramatic effect and Carlo bites his lip, hard and discreetly so no one can see how deranged he thinks this story is. Everyone seems to want to know more so TK pushes on.

“I get escorted out, given a jacket by someone to cover up and then they tell me that they will drive me home. While they are driving I see a tattoo shop that’s open 24/7 and I tell them to drop me there and say something like I live upstairs with the owner and show a photo of a friend who definitely isn't Australian or own any goddamn tattoo shop owner but they buy it. Or they were probably just tired of me, so they drop me off there and I insist I will be fine. Outside there’s a group of people, all of them clearly drunk. I join them, you know making friends while drunk it’s like the easiest thing in the world and then we go into the shop together, me in my boxers and Sydney PD jacket to go with and then have the massive flower tattoo made on my chest while my new friends cheer me on, pay for it too because I have no money or phone, drink some more beer inside of the shop and then we all share a cab back to the same hostel we were staying at and the morning after I woke up with the biggest hangover I have ever experienced, no phone, no clothes and a massive tattoo on my chest I barely remember getting.“ He finishes and the room has been rendered speechless.

TK is preening, loving what he’s just done. The whole room erupts into loud chatter soon enough and none of them can really make sense of the story and alternate between completely buying it and not buying it at all. 

Carlos leans forward, nipping gently at TK’s ear before he whispers.

“Babe, I want the actual story for the tattoo.”

“What? You don’t believe what I just told you?” He asks, sweetly, innocently and Carlos snorts. 

“Sure, and I am related to Lady Gaga.” TK laughs, turns his head and kisses him.

“I’ll tell you later.” He promises and Carlos pecks him gently on the lips. The room’s moved on and the game continues for a while longer before the crowd disrupts, Marjan and TK set on matchmaking Lily together with the same girl that looked at her earlier while Paul and Carlos get roped into an armwrestling contest that he’s going to feel in his muscles tomorrow for sure. 

By the time someone decides they’re going out clubbing Carlos is fairly drunk, a comfortable buzzing just underneath his skin and he’s having a good time, he isn’t going to say no to dancing. TK finds him, sneaking an arm around him, refusing to let him go, which makes it much harder to get his jacket and shoes on and get downstairs and out to the uber that’s waiting. They must look slightly ridiculous like this but no one is paying attention to them and Carlos only has eyes for TK anyway, so nothing matters than him. 

They share a cab with Paul and two other people Carlos cannot remember the names of but seems to be really engaged with Paul about some book they both love and Carlos tunes them out, nuzzling TK’s hair who is still wrapped around him. TK looks up to meet his eyes, smile soft and eyes alluring and lips plumb and extremely kissable. Carlos licks his lips.

“Can you two at least wait until we’re in the club so I don’t have to watch you suck each other’s faces off right here?” Carlos huffs and TK swats at Paul, not getting too far away from Carlos, his arms still wrapped around him. 

What can he say? He’s drunk, in love and he has a stupidly hot boyfriend, he might be losing his grip on appropriate behaviour when TK is this near and this intoxicating. But maybe, just maybe he should stop drinking for the rest of the evening, especially if he wants to get laid when he gets home. 

They get to the club and both TK and him lose the rest of their friends. Not that it matters much anyway, all he has eyes for is TK who doesn’t hesitate to take charge, pulling Carlos towards the dancefloor with such ease it’s hard not to be completely enticed by him. The music is loud vibrating through Carlos’ body and TK pulls him close, finally without having to care about other people, letting go of everything that was holding him back before, finally having TK all to himself.

TK looks to be in his right goddamn element, alive, happy, body moving with the freedom of being safe and in love and allowed to exist freely. Carlos barely even grapples with the urge to pull him close, he just does and kisses him, passionately, bruising, messing up his hair and pulling his hips close to his own. TK hisses against his mouth but he gives as good as he gets and he kisses back fervently, intensely with brutal vigor and Carlos loses his footing, it’s so good. They’re being so indecent right now, but there’s something positively addictive being with TK like this, grinding on each other, kissing without holding back, loving each other boldly and loudly.

It’s all Carlos has ever wanted.

TK pulls away, he honestly looks absolutely wrecked, way too good for Carlos to be sane about anything.

“Baby.” He rasps in Carlos’ ear, voice hoarse and broken and it goes straight to Carlos’ dick, he hisses in response. God he’s so gone. TK, the little devil kisses his neck, lips attached to the exposed skin of his t-shirt, licks his skin, pulls it into his mouth and Carlos bites at his lip, hard, pulling TK closer to him.

They are going to have to slow down otherwise they are going to get kicked out.

“Baby.” He says, sees a shiver go through TK as he clutches at Carlos’ hair, messing it up completely. “We’re going to have to slow down.”

“Why?” TK whines.

“Because we’re not having sex in the bathroom…” But even as he says it the image of TK on his knees in front of him is a little too much not to be very tempting. TK bites at his earlobe, the fucking tease and sucks it into his mouth.

“Fine, fine.” He agrees, pulls back and kisses Carlos, still sinfully hot, but a little more controlled and appropriate than before. He pulls back, smiles beautifully and Carlos knows he’s just never ever going to love someone the way he loves TK.

But they slow down a little, and somehow find Paul who points at Mateo making out with the girl from earlier, Marjan is at the bar looking mischievous and Carlos wonders what she has in mind. He finds that out when she walks towards them, glitter in her hands. She blows some onto Paul who swoops her up spinning her around as she laughs delightedly and then smears some onto Carlos’ face. He wipes parts of it off, but it sticks to his face like glue because of the sweat, and wipes it onto TK’s face, pulling him close to kiss him to stop his squeaking and swatting. 

Mateo comes and joins them and they spend the rest of the night dancing and shouting and laughing and it’s liberating, a different kind of high to be out with friends who you love, who accept you and who you can be yourself with 100%. They are all going to spend weeks trying to get the glitter out of their hair though, Carlos knows as much.

At 5 in the morning he and TK stumble through his door, both of them unable to keep their hands off each other after behaving for hours. Finally they are completely alone. 

…..

Carlos wakes up the next day when TK starts to move around in their bed. He hears him leave the room and Carlos groans, throws an arm across his face, hiding from the light streaming in through the opened curtains. He has a headache, not just due to being hungover, but more because of clubbing for hours with loud music, staying up for most of the night and probably because as much as he doesn’t like to admit it, he’s nearing 30. Being out clubbing all night takes much more of a toll on his body than it used to. 

TK comes back, puts down what Carlos thinks is a glass of water on the nightstand before he crawls back into bed, Carlos pulling him close, snuggling up against him as soon as he’s back in bed. TK huffs but doesn’t object as Carlos noses at his neck, feeling TK run a hand through his hair.

He’s sore all over, from the arm wrestling, from the dancing and from the insane sex they had last night. And he’s probably wearing TK’s boxers by mistake, because they feel a little too tight on him so they are definitely not his. It’s not comfortable but he doesn’t have the energy to care.

“Morning.” TK croaks out, voice hoarse from all of the screaming. He hums, not really ready yet to be a human. He’s allowed to lie for a moment in bed, peaceful, but the thing with TK is that sometimes he’s inhumane in the mornings, taking after Owen undoubtedly, with his uncanny ability to just be awake. He can definitely be a sleepy little brat, but when he isn’t, once he’s up, he’s up. 

“There’s glitter everywhere.” TK comments, smile evident in his voice. Carlos forces his eyes to open, blinks a few times and looks around the room, sees that there is indeed glitter on the bed, clothes lying all around the bedroom, pillows on the ground, the bottle of lube still open, leaking onto the hardwood floor and the mattress has been moved, lying halfway across the bed. 

He groans, shifts onto his back pushing his unruly curls away from his face and rubs at his eyes, trying to feel a little bit more awake.

“Here.” TK says and hands him the glass of water. He thankfully takes a sip, moves the pillow more comfortably behind his head before he closes his eyes again, ready to sleep for a few more hours. TK huffs, shuffles around for a moment, unhappy, before he comes closer to Carlos, nudging his legs apart so he can settle between them. Carlos opens his eyes again and moves to make more room for him. TK immediately stops moving and settles, hands unconsciously stroking across Carlos’ chest.

TK has a pillow streak across his cheek, blue and pink glitter still on his face and his hair really is messy from Carlos pulling on it last night, and yet managing to look way too good for someone who has been up most of the night partying.

“Hi.” He says, voice hoarse too. He coughs to clear his throat a few times and TK’s mouth twitches.

“We broke the room last night.” He comments dryly, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I’m sure it was mostly you.”

“The mattress was all you.” He smirks and Carlos snorts. 

“Yeah I definitely feel that today, and a little like I’ve been hit by a brick…” TK laughs as Carlos struggles with words, not sure how to make his brain work.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“I hate to say this but I am getting too old to party like this.” TK laughs, swats his chest.

“Don’t say that. You’re making me feel ancient.”

“You seem to be handling it a little better than I am.” He mutters and TK snorts.

“Well I didn’t engage in an arm wrestling contest that was just an excuse to flex.”

None of them mention the very obvious reason as to why TK’s is feeling better than Carlos is. Not that they don’t talk about TK’s addiction, they do, sometimes a lot, sometimes less and sometimes not at all. It’s definitely become a fixed point in their relationship, it’s impossible for it to not be one when you are as serious as they are. But they don’t have to tiptoe around the subject anymore either, it’s become as normalised as it can be between them, even getting to the point where TK will sometimes make a crude joke about it that should have Carlos chiding him, that more often than not makes him snort and pull him into a hug instead.

And TK’s whole life, the very core of who he is is not defined by his substance abuse and addiction or his anxiety and issues, so their relationship isn’t either. More often than not they have the exact same problems any couple their age has and it’s nice it has gotten to that point after having had a really rough start to everything.

“What can I say? I’m hot and muscly.” He jokes, flexes his bicep for show as TK snorts, swats him a little harder than before.

“Well you beat everyone in the room who dared to go up against you, that’s not bad.”

“Thank you.” TK rolls his eyes without heat and leans forward to gently peck his lips. 

“You have really bad morning breath.” TK observes, pulls back, grimaces in disappointment and Carlos snorts.

“I’m not surprised.” He lifts his head, looks around the room and then changes his mind, lies back down again. TK lifts an eyebrow.

“Just thinking whether I have the energy to get up and clean, I don’t.”

“You’ve earnt a morning in.”

“I think so too.” He agrees and TK huffs.

They’re quiet for a moment, enjoying just being in each other’s company after being apart for a while with their mismatched schedules. It looks like it might be sunny today too and Carlos can probably agree to take a walk, he’s sure TK is going to suggest it. 

They’re both extroverts, but only to an extent. TK is learning that he actually likes spending nights in instead of going out to dinner or clubbing while Carlos has learnt the enjoyment of downtime as he can struggle with not knowing when and how to take a break or relax, always feeling like he needs to to do something, to be on his feet, to move, always edging closer to a burnout with the rhythm he’s going in. In that regard they are quite similar and relaxing together, shutting their brains off in a coping mechanism that isn’t sex (yes that works too but it’s not exactly a sustainable option) has become both a challenge and easier with time. 

So they have taken to walking on the weekends or the days where they have time off, to talk about the hard stuff, the big life changing stuff or the small and silly things. There’s something with walking in nature that makes all the hard things in life feel easier, easier to detangle the messes and feel like everything will be okay. His ten thousand daily steps shoot in record each weekend when they keep pushing themselves to find new paths, or walk on the old ones, stopping for coffee when the weather allows it, basking in the sun and each other. It’s very old retired couple of them, but even Paul and Mateo’s teasing had come to a stop when Carlos had smacked a massive list of benefits in the group chat to shut them up and asked them to come with them instead. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. But it’s definitely a habit that’s just his and TK’s, carved out from love and finding ways to grow together. 

“Sooo…” Carlos says, teasing and TK lifts an eyebrow and leans forward, his elbows resting on Carlos’ chest.

“The tattoo story from yesterday, that was a load of horseshit.” TK grins.

“That was hilarious, I wish someone would have filmed it.”

“I’m sure you would, you sneaky little monster.”

“I think you mean genius.”

“Sure, sure.” TK laughs and there are fewer things Carlos delights in doing more than making him happy. Ever since they got official he’s decided that it’s a daily goal, a promise to keep being happy together, and so far he’s kept it up.

Carlos lifts an eyebrow.

“This tattoo thing is becoming a recurring thing I see?”

“Ah, you’ve seen through my genius plans.” TK snorts.

“This is the first one I ever did.” Carlow grows serious and unconsciously reaches a hand forward, stroking along the tattoo on display.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my dad wouldn’t let me until I turned 18 and I did some real begging and convincing to try and change his mind but he always said no. He settled for 18 because he has one himself which he did when he was 16 and was a lifeguard. It used to be a koi fish but he’s changed it a lot since then and it’s a bit of a mess. ‘A wonderful blob, just like his mind’ that’s his own words.” Carlos chuckles. 

“Ah, so why a flower?”

“I don’t even know if it has a meaning or anything, I've just always associated flowers and plants with life and natural beauty and it gives me a sense of serenity, grounds me a bit more in reality when everything is uncertain. And you know me, a lot of things have been uncertain in my life.” 

“Yeah, but considering what you’ve been through it’s amazing how far you’ve come, you know this right?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to learn that.” He smiles, a little shyly. “And life is finally starting to feel good again, like this is how it’s supposed to be and I feel safe with you.”

Carlos feels his eyes soften and his heart beat fiercely in his chest and he loves TK so much. 

“I feel safe with you too.” He whispers and TK nods, like he understands, eyes soft and a sweet little smile at the edge of his lips as he melts in Carlos’ arms, like it’s finally clicked for him too that they really do belong together. Carlos isn’t very religious or superstitious but from the moment he met TK, when he was guarded and on edge and only wanted sex, knew that they would be good together, that there was something about TK that would manage to ground all of Carlos’ faults and flaws and that once they would be un equal ground, they would create something good and beautiful and stable out of something momentarily broken. 

Because TK isn’t broken or damaged beyond repair, he never was and he isn’t now either.

He is the love of Carlo’s life.

He isn’t superstitious but he knows this.

“For someone claiming to be such a city boy you sure do have a lot of earthy and nature themed tattoos.” He comments, gently caressing TK’s cheek, hoping that all he feels for this man can be read in his face. When TK’s breath hitches he thinks he knows, or that he’s seen something he wasn’t expecting.

Carlos pulls him into a peck and TK whines.

“Don’t you have a breath mint or something so we can kiss properly?” He complains making Carlos chuckle. 

He throws a look at the nightstand and TK grumberly climbs over him, poking Carlos hard on the nose which he expects is on purpose before he opens the drawer and pulls out a small box of tic taks. He pops it into his own mouth, climbs back on top of Carlos and reaches down, kissing him salaciously, loudly and gives the breath mint over to Carlos who honestly almost swallows it whole his whole body reacting so instantly to TK it short circuits his brain. TK grinds down and Carlos groans, pushing up for more friction and TK chuckles, pleased by the reaction, against his mouth before he throws the duvet to the side so he can get more access. 

Suddenly Carlos doesn’t have a headache anymore.

…..

They do make it out of bed eventually and they clean the mess up together. Then Carlos takes a shower and when he comes back TK has made banana pancakes and Carlos realises just how hungry he is. He definitely does the majority of the cooking in the relationship but TK will surprise him from time to time by making something he knows really well, and he seems to have taken to breakfast wood with an almost natural ease, spending a long time of this relationship trying to perfect his banana pancakes.

And Carlos likes cooking so he really doesn’t mind that he does it a lot. He really was brought up with food being the ingredient that solved things within his family. It could be a forgiving gesture or a loving gesture and it was always a caring gesture, even when fights got big and words were said and Carlos was convinced the family was going to split into sides that would never heal, but food was the one constant. He’s taken that with him and it’s his way of showing TK how much he adores him, hearing him try something of Carlos’ and like it, face lighting up as the spices and flavours mix together perfectly is an incredible feeling.

So instead TK is observant, always makes him tea the way he likes it, comes by the station to give him coffee if he’s nearby, stacks up on the protein powder Carlos uses when he does go grocery shopping for them and buys him lunch when they are out in town, obsessed with trying new places. The best thing though is that Carlos’ kitchen has for months now been stacked up on things he would never buy himself, like the fancy hazelnut coffee syrup that’s now found a permanent place by his coffee maker, one of the empty shelves in his cupboard that he’s never found anything to keep there that TK fills up with sweets and snacks and chocolate. Or the vegan protein bars that are now a permanent fixture in a cupboard beside the oven. 

TK hasn’t moved in officially but he barely goes home these days, once or twice every second week and only more often if TK and his schedules don’t align at all. 

Carlos should probably ask him about moving in soon. 

“Hi baby.” TK says and Carlos steps close, pecks him lovingly on the lips before he steals a piece of the pancake, TK swatting his hand away.

“Hey.” Carlos pecks him again before he goes to get some plates and set the table for them. TK comes carrying the plate with pancakes shortly after and Carlos makes himself a coffee because TK when he does drink it, it’s not usually in the mornings, and sighs happily as he swallows down the first sip and then they sit down and eat together. 

Carlos is living on cloud 9 at the moment, he’s spent the majority of last night dancing with the love of his life, the morning was full of even more sex and now they’re having breakfast together, the thrill of it moves through him like a current, enfulging him into a warm blanket of happiness. And Carlos really truly is happy. 

TK seems to sense it too, he keeps sending Carlos smiles over the table, hooking his ankle over his underneath it, rarely breaking eye contact. When they’re done TK comes forward, sitting down in Carlos’ lap, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Hi you.” Carlos says, putting his arms around TK’s waist, pulling him closer to him. 

“Hi.” TK whispers, pushes a hand through Carlos’ damp hair, messing up the curls even worse.

“I really like your hair like this.” TK muses, continues with the action, sending shivers down his spine. 

“I’ve noticed.”

“Why don’t you keep your hair like this more often?”

“If you had curly hair you would know.” Carlos snorts. He cuts it regularly, hates it when it gets too long, it’s much harder to style and he wants his hair to be out of his way when he works so he tends to sleep with hair stuff in his hair when he goes to sleep, it takes him much shorter to get ready in the mornings that way.

“Maybe.” TK agrees, pulls at the strands a little, enjoying the sounds he’s bringing out of Carlos.

“This has been nice, I’ve missed you a lot recently.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I’ve missed you too.” He promises.

“Do you really have to work tonight?” TK sighs looking dejected.

“Actually no, not tonight, I switched my shifts around.”

“Really?” He looks so happy right now, eyes alive and sweet. 

“Yeah.” He rubs his nose against TK’s who huffs but returns the movement before Carlos kisses his nose lovingly.

“So, what should we do with the rest of the day then?” He wonders. TK shrugs.

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter what, I just want to spend it with you.”

Carlos smiles. 

“Me too.”

And so they do, taking advantage of the day fully, Carlos loving every minute of it.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #9-1-1 lone star #tk x carlos #carlos x tk #tattoo fic #911 lone star fic #carlos reyes #tk strand

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

#100 things about me #questions #100 questions

[wrenhyperfixates]

Yule Log

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: With Christmas quickly approaching, Loki finds himself missing his favorite time on Asgard. If he can’t go back home to celebrate, you’re determined to bring the party to him. Warnings: just the tiniest bit angsty, but mainly just fluff. And a lot of kissing A/N: We’re already halfway through December, can you believe it? To continue the spread of holiday cheer, please enjoy my latest fic! Happy reading :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @thelokiimaginechroniclesficrecs​ @gaitwae

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

“Thank you for coming,” you said to some of the last guests as they made their way out into the chilly night air.

Being Tony’s personal assistant was no easy feat, and sometimes it meant you had to be in full work mode at parties rather than being able to let loose. So many times your boyfriend tried to pull you away from all the seriousness, but you would only be able to enjoy a dance or two before having to do something else. It was yet another reason why Loki was not a fan of Stark’s shindigs.

“Darling,” he called as you made your way back into the room. “Come sit with me now?”

“I can’t. There’s still people here.”

“And they are occupied talking to Stark and Captain Rogers,” he pouted. “Certainly you can rest for a minute. You deserve it, after all.”

“Ok, I guess,” you replied, walking over. He pulled you down onto his lap before you could change your mind, kissing you quickly but passionately. “Well if that’s what you mean by rest, I would have stopped working hours ago.”

“Duly noted,” he said, nuzzling into your neck, enjoying your scent. “I will be sure to be more specific next time.”

You giggled against his lips as he kissed you again. The whole scene was picturesque, really. Sitting with your boyfriend on the couch, a tree in the background, snow falling outside, and a fire crackling nearby; it was like something right out of a painting. Or maybe a dream. Then again, that’s how you felt about every second you spent with Loki.

Just when you were getting settled against him, your boss called your name, and waved you over with a smile. He probably needed you for another scheduling problem. At least you would be getting a break for Christmas soon. You sighed and pecked Loki on the cheek, wiggling out of his grip, much to his protest. With a promise to meet him in your shared room as soon as you finished up with the last few guests, he let you go.

Roughly half an hour later, you were stumbling into your quarters, feet sore and eyes tired. Walking into your bedroom to change, you saw Loki standing by the window, his shirt in his hands as if he just forgot what he was doing halfway through changing. You hugged him from behind, resting your forehead between his shoulder blades. His hand immediately alighted on your arm and began rubbing slow circles on your skin. You’d noticed he did that anytime he was pensive or working through a lot of emotions.

“Hey, are you ok? Do you need to talk?” you asked.

“I am alright, my angel. You need not worry,” he told you, turning around to hug you and kissing your forehead gently. “Now, I believe we were going to watch a movie.”

You frowned at the way he changed the topic, but decided not to push the subject. You could always try again in the morning, but you didn’t want to make him talk if he didn’t feel like it. You got changed while Loki set up the film, something he was still very proud that he’d learned how to do. Settling on the couch, Loki rested his head on your lap, and you played with his hair as Rudolph began to play on the TV.

You looked down at the beautiful god, wondering what was going through that beautiful mind of his. There was no doubt in your mind; you loved Loki. The thing was that he could be so guarded sometimes that you felt left out. Like he was keeping things from you. It was more out of concern for him that it made you worry, not because you didn’t trust him. In fact, you trusted him with your life. You only wished that he would do the same with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, you woke up in the bed, wrapped in Loki’s arms. You didn’t quite remember getting off of the couch last night, and you knew Loki must have carried you after you fell asleep. His eyes were on you, as you laid there. You could feel his loving gaze even before opening your eyes. You liked to do that sometimes, pretend like you were still asleep and bask in the joy of Loki admiring you. Whether or not he told you everything, he obviously adored you, and this was a nice reminder of that. Though, now that you thought about the issue of communication, you cracked open your eyes, determined to get him to tell you what is wrong.

“Good morning, darling,” he said, smiling warmly at you. “I love you.”

It always made you flustered when Loki told you that so soon after waking, like it was the most important thing. Like he had to make sure you knew before anything else happened. Before you could even get up most days, he was saying those words. They always made you snuggle further into your chest, resolving to stay in bed a bit longer, rather than getting up and starting your duties for that day.

“Morning, Loki. I love you too.”

Still laying together in a tangle of limbs, the two of you chatted for a bit longer, and you were carefully working your way up to the question you wanted to ask. It was a delicate topic, for sure, but maybe he’d be soft enough after all the pillow talk to share.

“Loki, can I ask you a question? And can you answer me honestly?” you asked.

“Of course. I will do my best, my angel.”

You frowned a little at the response, but plowed on anyway. “Last night you were upset about something. What was it? You know I worry about you. It’s ok, you can tell me.”

“Well,” he sighed. “It is nothing much, really. It is just with all these Christmas festivities, I am reminded of my mother’s favorite celebration. The winter solstice ball was always around this time. She loved planning the Yule celebrations. It was why she put up with the planning of every other ball, just so she could do this one. It was always the most fun, for her love of the holiday shone through every minute detail of the day.”

You looked at features, peaceful and happy, a small smile tugging at his lips. You wanted to be happy for him, too, but it made your heart break as you read deeper into what he was saying. It wasn’t just the holiday he was upset over.

“Oh, Loki. You miss your mother,” you cooed as he sadly nodded.

“It is nothing you need worry yourself over, really.”

“Yes, Loki, I do. Because I love you. If you’re allowed to worry over me, I can over you, too.”

“That is... fair,” he conceded, though he was frowning a little. “So what are you going to do? Nothing too over the top, I hope.”

“I’m not exactly sure yet, but I’ll start with this,” you admitted, cupping his cheek and kissing him. You started on his lips, but then moved to placing little pecks all over his face. His smile had returned by the time you finished. “Better?”

“Much,” he confessed as he pulled you closer, earning a giggle. “But you are not done trying to fix this, are you?”

“Not even close.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later you were setting up the common room for a solstice party, much like the Asgardian ballroom would be looking soon. You’d asked Thor more about how the holiday was celebrated on his home planet and, together with the rest of the Avengers, you were getting ready to surprise Loki. Though you had Bucky and Peter keeping him busy and out of the way right now, you were sure that Loki suspected something was up.

“Are you sure this is everything Thor?” you nervously questioned, giving the room a once-over. “Everything has to be perfect.”

“Do not worry, my friend. You were very thorough.”

After combing through your notes one last time, just to make sure there wasn’t anything you were missing, you called Peter and Bucky to bring Loki back. In true surprise party fashion, you turned the lights off and got into hiding places. When he walked in, you all jumped up and screamed “Happy Yule.” For a second he didn’t move, and the silence was kind of awkward as he stood there with a sort of stunned but otherwise unreadable expression on his face. Finally, he gently said your name.

“You don’t like it, do you?” you said, feeling like you might cry.

“Like it? No, no, I do not. Darling,” he said, shaking his head before breaking out into a huge grin and crushing you in a hug, using his godly strength to pick you up and spin you around. “I love it! I was certain you had some trick up your sleeve, but this? This is beyond my wildest imagination. It is perfect! Thank you, love.”

“Really?” you squealed in excitement. “Loki, that means so much to me.”

“And the fact that you went through all this trouble means so much to me.”

He kissed you then, not caring about the reaction from the rest of the Avengers, which was a mix of whoops and groans. Even when you broke away from each other, you still stood there for a minute, just gazing at each other. The look in your eyes said everything that words couldn’t.

“Well then, what are we waiting for? Let us party,” Loki announced.

He swept you onto the dance floor as the music began to play, enjoying waltzing amongst your friends. After a few songs, you led him over to the thrones at the front of the room. He nearly cried tears of joy when you said it was for him. Long ago, he’d given up on the notion that he’d rule, let go of the desire to do so. He did not need it if he was king of your heart. But to be offered one, even just for the night, it meant more to him than he knew how to express.

It was late into the night after a number of Avengers had moved past tipsy and into drunk, when Loki asked you take a walk with him. You bundled up before stepping into the cold night air, but afraid of his little mortal catching a cold, Loki draped an extra cloak on your shoulders. It was so soft you wondered if he’d cast some kind of spell on it. He took your hand and led you away from the Tower and into the city, lit up even more than normal by all the Christmas decorations. Eventually, you reached Central Park, and Loki slowed to a stop so he could cup your cheeks and kiss you yet again that night. You lost yourself in him, losing track of time as you stood there, lips locked together. When you finally separated, he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“My sweetest angel, thank you so much for cheering me up,” he said.

“It was no problem. It was totally worth it to see you so happy. Did I miss anything that you were looking forward to?”

“Darling, you simply must stop worrying yourself. The party was amazing.”

“But?”

“Did it sound like there was a 'but' coming? I assure you, you have done everything perfectly.”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I just feel in my gut that there’s something missing, and I know you won’t tell me of your own accord. Please, Loki, if there’s something else, let me know.”

“Admittedly, there is one other thing I miss. But you have done more than enough already.”

“Will you please stop that?” you snapped a little, surprising the god. “Stop pushing your feelings aside, especially with me. I care about you, ok? I want to trouble myself with what’s bothering you. Because if we deal with it together, it’s not so hard for either of us. We love each other, Loki, I know that. So just open up. Tell me.”

“Are you done?” he inquired with an impressed and amused smirk as you nodded, a little flustered and embarrassed after your outburst. “Good.”

Once more, Loki kissed you, catching you completely by surprise. Usually he liked to show his love through little things, but tonight he couldn’t seem to keep his lips off yours. Not that you were complaining, of course. The displays of affection were certainly as welcome out in public as they behind closed doors. You tenderly caressed his cheek and brushed a lock of hair from his eyes.

“The Yule log,” he said. “It was the one night a year I felt like we were truly a family. Father, mother, Thor, and I would sit around the fire into the late hours of the night, laughing and telling stories.” He zoned out for a second and you let him reminisce before continuing. “I remember when I was just a small child, father even let me fall asleep on his lap sometimes. And then as we got older and things became more tense, there was still always that night.”

“Loki,” you whispered, “that’s lovely. I would love to light a Yule log for our little family, if you’ll allow it.”

“I would love nothing more, my angel.”

Then you excitedly whisked him back to the Tower, where you promptly told everyone the plan. They gathered around, and Loki conjured a log which you lit together. You snuggled with your prince in an oversized chair, safely tucked under his arm.

“My angel,” he whispered, “I really cannot thank you enough. And I vow to be more open with you from now on. Because I trust you and love you more than anything else in the Nine Realms and beyond.”

“You’re welcome, Loki. I love you, too, though I never could say it as eloquently as you can,” you chuckled. “Happy Yule, my love.”

“Happy Yule, darling.”

You began to doze off against his side. Loki listened to the conversation and laughter flowing all around him. Soon, everyone followed your lead and began drifting off to sleep. He smiled as he realized he got to keep his favorite tradition of sitting around the Yule log with his family, after all.

“Happy Yule, mother,” he whispered into the night before falling asleep, too.

#christmas fic #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #mcu loki #loki fluff #fluff #mcu fluff #marvel fluff #reader insert #gender netural reader #marvel #mcu #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #loki fanfic #mcu reader insert #loki friggason #loki friggason x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki oneshot #marvel oneshot #thor odinson #thor

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

What Christmas Means to Me- Dean x Reader

A/N: Happy New Year, friends! I am enjoying a Harry Potter marathon as I am off for the entire weekend! I hope you had a wonderful time last night and that you were safe! Hopeful for the new year.

So, this is extremely late and for that, I apologize. Life is rather chaotic for me but it’s okay, I’m doing good work for others. The, further along I get into this new job, the more I hope to be able to update without anyone looking over my shoulder. However, I hope you still enjoy this holiday fic, even with it being after the holidays!

Warnings: Slight mentions of depression, angst, but a lot of fluff to make up for the heavy stuff

Word Count: 5,152

Requests are OPEN!

Holiday Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

This time of year, was normally special to you. The lights, the presents, the food, the music, but this year, was different. 2020 was the year that was supposed to bring endless possibilities yet every dream of everyone all around the world, came to a halting stop as the coronavirus starting wreaking havoc on China first, then spreading its way to the rest of the world. Restaurants, schools, churches, movie theaters, bars, everything was shut down and people who weren’t considered essential workers were asked to stay inside. Towns and cities across the world were told it was unsafe to leave their homes unless it was absolutely necessary to. The summer saw a bit of a slowdown in the number of cases a day, yet there was an entire second “wave” expected to come by the winter months. It was a scary time, to say the least, but as the year was wrapping up and it the second wave was starting to take its toll too; you knew that everyone was anticipating the end of the year and a possible vaccination.

The family business needed to be put on hold. When the news broke about the virus, the Winchesters decided it was for the best interest and safety of everyone if you put your live-saving efforts aside until it was safe again. To say that it was a challenge to be locked up in the Bunker with the brothers was an understatement. You felt as if the walls were slowly closing in on you until finally, after four months in lockdown, you began to venture out of the Bunker. Wearing your masks and keeping yourselves distant from anyone who wasn’t in the Bunker, you and the Brothers had decided to make a much-needed supply run. In times of emergencies, like being put on a lockdown, Sam had stocked up over the years with necessary items. But no one knew you would end up using the supplies that were meant to last an entire year, in only four months. Because your normal supply runs that you used to do once a week hadn’t happened in all that time, it was needed now more than ever. The first time you left the Bunker since the virus hit, it was an odd experience. Wearing a mask anytime you were around other people, keeping at least six feet away from them and constantly having to wash or sanitize your hands was completely foreign to you. It seemed like a lot of people were already adjusted to these protocols but you and the brothers were struggling with these changes. Wanting to go home as soon as possible, you hurried to grab all your essential items before making your way to the checkout line. A few more attempts at these new runs and it almost became ‘normal’ for all of you.

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With the end of the year quickly approaching, it grew more and more difficult to get into the holiday spirit. Because everything was turned upside down, you wondered if Christmas was really worth celebrating. You couldn’t really go anywhere or have anyone over to celebrate, so why even bother? A lot of the normal activities you liked to do around the holiday has been canceled and it was hard to stay positive about it all. Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing; he knew how much this time of year meant to you and it hurt him to see that you were so down and out of spirit this year.

“I just don’t see the purpose of celebrating the holidays with this many deaths in the world, everyone panicking about how much worse this thing could get and we can’t really go out anywhere and do too much anyway, so what’s the point?” You say, explaining why you’ve lost your spirit.

 “The point is, it's your favorite time of year (y/n). You love all the lights and the music and movies, the tree, decorating the house; it’s your thing!” Dean said, almost in a pleading tone in his voice. It sounded a lot heavier than he normally used and you could tell it was bothering him to hear you say these unusual things about holidays.

 “I know that’s how I normally feel but I just can’t seem to feel that way this year,” you say, feeling worse about bringing it up to him in the first place, especially since he gave his best impression of Sam’s puppy dog look.

“Well, I think you just need some help getting into the holiday spirit then. And I think me and Sammy are the perfect ones to help you out!” Dean said, grinning from ear to ear. That normally meant that he was up to something and you knew he wouldn’t tell you what he was planning. 

“I don’t know Dean, I’m not sure that’ll help,” you say, still unsure of his idea. 

“Well, you can at least let us try, especially me. I have quite a few ideas up my sleeve,” he says with that grin never fading away.

“Really? So, you have ideas for spreading the Christmas spirit? Usually, you never get into the holidays; you typically treat them like any other day,” you reason with the eldest Winchester. You had known him for long enough to know how the holidays typically went for the brothers. 

“So, this year has been more different than in the past. I think we ought to celebrate being alive and healthy because who knows how next year will go?” His answer surprised you. It was deeper than what you were expecting him to say and he hasn’t said anything with that much meaning behind it in a long time. The sentiment warmed your heart. 

“Alright, that was unexpected coming from the resident grump of the family, but okay. If you want to be festive and think it’ll help,” you trail off before he interjects saying,

“I do think it’ll help; I promise!”

You chuckle, shaking your head at the fully grown man acting like a child. Within that instant, he was off to begin his plan but his first task was finding Sam.

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 Dean’s POV

 I was thrilled when (y/n) agreed to let me help her get into the Christmas spirit. It really upset me knowing she couldn’t seem to find any on her own. She’s the one who has gotten me and Sam excited for the holidays in the past but with this crap going on with this virus, she lost all her usual excitement. This usually cheerful girl had turned the exact opposite of who she normally was. I couldn’t let her be this down during this special time of year, so I took it upon myself to cheer her up. 

“Sammy!” I call out for my younger brother in the main room of the Bunker, hoping to see if he would want to help me out. He wasn’t in his room nor was he in the library; where the hell was he?

“Sammy!” I yell again, escalating my voice in hopes that would make a difference.

“Hey, what’s going on Dean?” Sam says, finally making his presence known.

“Dude, where the hell have you been?” 

“I was out in the garage working on some of the cars and before you freak out, no, I didn’t touch Baby.”

“Good, cause otherwise, I’d have to kill you,” I jokingly say but I’m just left with his infamous bitch face.

“What do you want, Dean?” He asks, growing more frustrated with me.

“I need help with a project for (y/n).”

“What kind of project?” Sam’s annoyance melted into curiosity.

“She needs a little holiday cheer,” I say.

“She’s not in the holiday spirit?” He sounded just as surprised as I did the first time I heard how (y/n) was really feeling.

“No, she said with all crap happening with this stupid virus, she doesn’t see a reason to celebrate the holidays,” I explain.

“But no one here has gotten it; shouldn’t we celebrate that?” Sam suggests.

“That’s what I told her but she said that because so many people have died from COVID we shouldn’t be celebrating. And because a lot of places that normally do events for the holidays are canceled or closed, that just makes her feel less interested.”

Sam held a rather sad expression on his face, much similar to the one I had when I first spoke to (y/n).

“So, what are we going to do?” He asks.

“Well, I think we should go crazy with decorations this year. All the lights, garland, blow up decorations in the yard; the whole nine yards!” I say with all the excitement I felt from within.

However, Sam just gave me this look, as if to say he knew something I didn’t. I decided to press him about it.

“What’s that look for?”

“You may not be as smart as you think you are,” He said.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I’m slightly offended at this point.

“Let’s just say not everything is how it seems. You need to look deeper than just the surface,”

“Alright whatever, are you in or not?”

“Yes, I’m in.”

Sam tends to go around saying things that make him sound like a hippy or something. I guess that’s why he always liked that Mandela guy. But that didn’t matter right now; what matters is that he’s helping.

I normally don’t like playing festive music but for (y/n)’s sake, I thought why not? I found a speaker and hooked my phone up to it. Trying to find rock n roll Christmas music was harder than I thought. Finally, I found Santa Claus is Coming to Town by the Boss. Grabbing some boxes of decorations, I had found in one of the storage rooms in the Bunker, I started setting up the specially requested tree from (y/n). She always talked about getting an artificial tree because they make less of a mess than the real ones do and she had a certain style in her head she wanted to try. She wanted a white tree with colored lights and for some red garland to be wrapped around it so that’s what she got. Granted, I had to go to a few different stores to find a big one to set up in the War Room so when you walk in the Bunker, you’re immediately greeted by a giant tree! Starting with a base and working from there, I constructed it myself before Sam decided to join in and help to add the ornaments we found. There were boxes filled with some rather outdated designs but Sam insisted we keep them because he knew (y/n) would like them. Much like him, she is a history nerd so she would love the antique look but I also know she would want to include the ornaments she had from her childhood and some of the ones she’s bought recently. I smile to smile to myself as I think about her reaction. Eyes wide, face brighter, possibly jaw-dropping; her expressions were adorable. Yeah, yeah, I know, I find my best friend adorable, so what? So that isn’t typical of me but she brings that out in me. It doesn’t matter cause it’s completely under control and no one knows about it. Do I have ‘feelings’ for (y/n)? I don’t know but something was different. The further into decorating Sam and I got, the more he’d keep looking at me with that same look as before.

“Alright, what’s on your mind, Sammy?” I ask, attempting to get my younger brother’s attention but he was too focused on his decorating.

“Hmm?” He says nonchalantly.

“Why do you keep giving me these looks like, I don’t know, you’re keeping a secret or something from me and you’re dangling that above me so I can keep asking you about it, so what’s up? What do you know?”

Now Sam’s attention was fully on me. He stopped what he was doing and looked right at me. He cleared his throat and took a few steps back from the tree, indicating he wanted me to follow him. He sat at the Map table, motioning for me to sit across from him.

“Well, this seems to be a lot of work for someone,” he starts, referring to all the work I was doing to help cheer (y/n) up.

“She’s not someone, she’s family and this isn’t just for her; both of us could use some Christmas spirit. We haven’t had a normal Christmas since we were kids and even that was usually met with Dad being away on hunts. We had that one year in the crappy motel room that you set up, and I loved that, but this, this is our chance to go crazy with it,” I defend.

“I don’t think you’d go to the lengths you are now just for anyone.”

“I would do the same for you.”

“Someone outside this Bunker.”

“And? What’s your point?”

“My point is, there seem to be underlying motives for you doing all of this for (y/n).”

“Aside from just being nice?” I question. What the hell is he getting at?

“Yes, I think you may have feelings for (y/n).” Shit.

“Of course, I have feelings for her, she’s my best friend. I care for her, ‘feelings,’” I say, using air quotes as I try to blow off the fact that Sam was right on the money.

“No, romantic feelings,” he adds.

“What makes you say that?” I ask, trying to play his little game. I needed to know if it was that obvious.

“Well for one, all of this,” he says, motioning to the room around us, now completely decorated. I’ll be honest, it looks like Santa threw up holly jolly stuff in here but it’s for (y/n) and she loves Christmas.

“I already told you, I’m just trying to help out a friend.”

“Then explain the way you look at her, or your immediate concern for her when she hurts herself, even a tiny cut. You freak out as soon as she says ‘ow’ and yes, she does say it a lot, but she’s usually fine. But you rush to her side and won’t stop pestering her until she insists that she’s okay. Or how about when she comes to check on you when you wake up screaming from nightmares? You instantly become like a child; clinging to her as if she was going to leave you forever. And do you think she can ever say no to you? Of course not. So, she grabs her own pillow from her bed and joins you in yours. And I know all of that because I’ve seen her do it before and I’ve found you two sleeping in each other’s arms several times. You’re crazy about her and would do anything for her. At the snap of her fingers, you’d go running. You’re in love, Dean, and so is (y/n).”

“Look, regardless of any possible “feelings” I may or may not have, this is the right thing to do. She would do the same for either one of us if we felt like she had” I reason, to which Sam nods in agreement.

If anyone needed this boost of Christmas spirit, it was (y/n). The virus has hit her hard because she cares for others so much. She, unfortunately, has so many friends who have come down with it and one of her family members passed away from it. We were right when we said we were lucky because no one here in the Bunker got it, but too many people (y/n) cared about were sick and that’s why she struggled so much.

Once everything was finished, I decided it was time for the surprise. Turning down the hallway of bedrooms, I stopped at the door that had (y/n) written on it. She wanted to make her room her own when she moved in so hers was the only one with her name on the front. Knocking gently, I hear muffled sobs coming from the other side of the door. 

“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” I say, pushing the door open to see her lying on her stomach, face buried in her pillows. When she mumbles a response of some kind, I walk to the side of the bed she was on, and place my hand on her back. She didn’t flinch at my touch, so I began rubbing soothing circles on her back, trying my hardest to comfort her as much as possible. Without really thinking, I reached for her and she flew into my awaiting arms. I won’t lie, I was surprised she was letting me be that affectionate towards her. Granted, we did have a rather “touchy,” “feely” relationship but this was different. With how I feel about her now, I noticed my behavior was a little different than it was before. I would hold her just a little tighter, my touch was a little bit softer and lingered just a bit longer. Not that I think she’d notice, especially at a time like this, but I tried anyway because now I knew how I felt. Something about seeing her vulnerable and relying on me for her support; meant a lot. I wasn’t sure if now was going to be the best time or not, but I think it’s now or never. 

“Hey, come with me. I know what will cheer you up,” I say into her hair, my lips pressing loving kisses to her head. With her beautiful (y/e/c) eyes that were wet from her tears, they sparkled in a different way than they normally would. It made me want to kiss her right there but I had to hold back; I couldn’t risk ruining this moment by moving too fast. But she looked into my eyes and she nodded, needing a hand up so she could follow me. She walked close beside me, and her smaller hand fit into mine. I found myself smiling at the contact, no matter how small it was. We walked out to the War Room and just as I had thought, her eyes widened, her jaw had dropped, and a hand had come up to cover her mouth. 

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Reader’s POV

“De-Dean, you, you did all this for me?” I asked once I was able to come back from my initial shock.

“Yeah. Well, when you said you needed help getting into the Christmas spirit and once you gave the okay on it, I knew we needed to go big on this,” 

“We?” I ask.

“Yep, Sammy helped out too,” 

“When you said you were going to help, I had no idea it was going to look like all of this! Dean, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me; thank you,” I say, still shocked by all the effort he put into it. 

“Anything for you sweetheart,” he says. “Come look at the tree,” he speaks softly, leading me over to the tree. Taking a closer look, I notice the ornaments that gave off an antique look to them. The boys must’ve found these in one of the storage rooms and it was sweet of them to put them up on my behalf. I know Sam didn't mind them but for Dean, history was definitely considered boring so this meant something. As I circled the tree, Dean remained on the opposite side, following my lead slowly. He kept his eyes focused on my face, as my eyes bounced between all the different hidden gems of the tree. The very minute my eyes locked with his, he would look away. We played this little game for a bit before Dean walked up the stairs to the door to the entrance of the Bunker. I follow him and am met with tons of blow-up animated characters. There was a Snoopy, a Santa, a reindeer, a Minion, the Grinch, so many different ones. I laughed as one of the characters kept swaying in the wind, occasionally hitting Dean as he looked at the work he did. He grew frustrated and started to fight with the inflatable, causing more of a ruckus than was necessary.

It was at that very moment that I saw him in a new light. I wasn’t sure why this made any difference but it made me think about my relationship with Dean. We had always been friends, ever since we first met. I had just happened to witness the death of someone that was a victim of a Rugaru attack so he and Sam had to ask me questions about what I witnessed. Since then, the boys had vowed to always protect me because I was scared shitless after what I saw. I wasn’t a hunter or used to anything of the supernatural world until that day, so when the boys told me who they really were, I was scared. Scared that an incident like that would happen again, it was Dean who drew me into a hug and reassured me he would never allow that to come true. It was Dean who would stay up late at night with me when I had nightmares of that day. It was Dean who stood by my side when I was sick, or when mother nature called and I couldn’t function. It was Dean who would watch chick flick movies with me because I spent hours watching Clint Eastwood movies with him. It was Dean who I fell in love with and was certain he was the man I was destined to be with for the rest of my life. He stopped ‘fighting’ with the inflatables when he noticed me just staring at him. Maybe he grew self-conscious and that was why he approached me slowly, but when he was close enough to me, I spoke the truth to my best friend, bringing light to a lie I had been burying for all these years.  

“I love you,” I say, holding back from jumping on him, as much as I wanted to in that very moment.

He seemed to have been in a different state of mind from what he was before my confession. He looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite make out the meaning behind. I wondered what was going through his head, the silence and stillness driving me up a wall. But just as I started to walk away, a hand had grasped around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. I turn back to face Dean, who was suddenly a lot closer to me, as he gently placed his forehead against mine.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that sweetheart, because I too, love you,” he said, voice barely louder than a whisper, but it spoke volumes to me. He let go of my wrist, that hand sliding up the length of my arm and up to the side of my face, where his thumb ran back and forth along my cheek. His other hand had gripped my hip, bringing me right up to his chest, and his eyes never trailed away from mine, except to occasionally falter down to my lips and back up again. In all his years of flirting and one-night stands, if someone were to tell me he would fall in love and he would take his time expressing that love to someone, I would’ve laughed right in their faces. I would say ‘Dean Winchester, capable of falling in love with someone? Impossible!’ But to be on the receiving side of that affection and sharing that affection towards him, some things are just destined to change. Ever so slowly, he moved his head closer to mine, allowing the tension of the moment to build, until he closed the space between our lips. Almost immediately, I responded, falling into a rhythm that was easy to come by. His lips, soft and full against mine, showed just how strong and powerful he was. He was in control of this moment; I just followed his lead. His strength and resilience he used in his fights against the world of darkness and those who wanted to cause harm, was showing itself in this kiss. Yet there was another side of him that was only shown to a few who were close to him. A softer, vulnerable side, that proved he was scared of whatever he was feeling. A side of uncertainty of his future, a sense of fear of failing to protect his younger brother and me. He held himself to a much higher standard than anyone else because he was older and he knew his father trusted him to be another version of him. And it broke my heart to see him struggle with the constant fear of disappointment. As best I could, I tried to kiss that pain away, hoping that he could tell I didn’t expect anything else but for him to be himself with me. He didn’t have to try to be perfect, he didn’t have to worry about disappointing anyone; all he needed to do was let himself just be.

“I love you, so much,” he says when we break the kiss.

“I love you too, Dean. But can we go inside, please? I’m freezing!” I say and we both laugh. He leans in to quickly kiss my lips again, before taking my hand in his and leading me back down to the Bunker.

When we stepped back down inside, Sam was sitting at the Map table, behind his laptop screen, typing away at the keys. He looked up when Dean let the door slam shut, a wide smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas, (y/n),” he says, standing up to hug me.

“Thank you so much for all this, Sam,” I say, standing on my tiptoes to hug the taller man.

“Well, I did just help out a bit but this was mostly Dean’s work.”

“I know, I think I’ve already thanked him pretty well for it,” I say, shooting the eldest Winchester a wink. Sam noticed and looked between his brother and me a few times, eyebrows raising in suspicion.

“Did something happen out there?” Sam asked, wondering what new development came from mine and Dean’s relationship.

“Let’s just say, we finally figured out what we felt towards one another and now, I guess, we’re now, together?” I say, looking to Dean, who just nods and smiles at me.

“Well, whatever this is, I am happy for you both. I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to figure it out without me having to get involved,” Sam said.

“Wait, you knew too?” I ask, surprised to know Sam was in on these feelings Dean had for me.

“It was a bit obvious, plus I’ve known Dean close to forty years so I can tell,” Sam said, smiling at me when he saw the blush form on my cheeks.

“I appreciate you not stepping in though, Sam. We had it figured out,” I say, trying to cover up the fact that we probably could’ve used more help.

“Yeah, it seemed like it,” Sam said, rolling his eyes but still smiling.

“Alright, alright, enough of that! (Y/N), go get in your pajamas; I have one more surprise for you,” Dean says. I can’t imagine what more Dean can do for me to get into the holiday spirit, but I do as he asks and head to my room.

Shutting the door behind me, I go to the dresser and open the second drawer from the top. Inside, I pick out a black, cotton tee shirt and red and green plaid pajama bottoms, to make up a holiday outfit. Brushing my hair back and out of my face, I tie it up in a loose bun and spritz just a bit of perfume on; had to smell nice for my man. My phone suddenly lights up, showing a new text awaiting my attention. I unlock the screen and press the messages icon. It opens to reveal ‘Dean’ and a small number one on the right side. I tap the message and I can see the entirety of the message.

“Hey baby, one thing I forgot to mention, grab a few pillows and blankets; it’s rather cold outside. I love you.”

What is this boy planning? I still do what he asks, grabbing all the pillows and blankets my two arms could carry and struggle to open the door. I teeter down the hall, desperately hoping I don’t bump into anything.

“Oh shit (y/n), here let me help!” Dean yells when I come back out to the Map room. “I didn’t mean all this!”

“I-I didn’t know how many to take so I just grabbed all I could,” I shrug, to which Dean just laughed at me.

“My silly girl,” He says, kissing my lips just enough to leave me wanting more but not enough to cause a distraction from his plan.

“Set the pillows down here and the blankets down on the other end,” Dean instructs, asking for the comfort items to be sprawled out of the floor. The extra blankets I brought made for a less than perfect bed but the company was more what I was there for. A fire had been lit and all the lights in the room had been turned off, except for all the Christmas decorations. Dean turned back to me after he finished illuminating the room with gentle light. It was just bright enough for us to see each other; his eyes reflected the lights from the tree and the fireplace as we lay and held one another. No words passed between us for a while, just the low sound of the crackling fireplace, as our eyes did all the communicating, we needed.

“I’m so happy that you are here with me and after all this time” Dean finally speaks up, brushing some hair out of my face.

“I’m happy too. I can’t believe we’re finally together,” I say, going in for another kiss, this one longer and slower than in the recent past. This, much like our first kiss, held all our feelings towards one another. Kissing Dean was something I would never get used to but I would cherish each kiss like it was our first; afraid it would be the last.

“So, did this help?” Dean asks, referring to his holiday plan.

I laugh, hiding my face in my hands, heat rising on my cheeks. I was still in shock that he did all this work for me but I loved him even more for it.

“Oh yes, very much. Thank you, Dean. This is what Christmas means to me, love,” I sing. “I love you so, so much.”

“The world and so much more to my girl. Merry Christmas, baby,” he says.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

Tag list: @tloveswriting​ @akshi8278​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @angeredcrow​ @440mxs-wife​ @calaofnoldor​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2​ @suckmysupernatural​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @hobby27​ @spnjediavenger​ @polina-93​ @deansmyapplepie​ @thwiso​ @marvelfansworld​

#dean winchester #dean #dean girls #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fandom #supernatural family #dean fluff #dean angst #Holidays #christmas

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Christmas 2017

Christmas fics posted for 2017

*** Non-English Fics *** Under 20k fics (Smutty, Angsty, Fluffy)  *** Over 20k fics

***** NON-ENGLISH FICS ***** 

Deilig er jorden by pagnilagni (Norsk, 3k words) - Et lite bakteppe: Tida etter at Maria og Fredrik ble født høsten 2029 ble ikke som Even og Isak hadde tenkt. Ungene sov ikke, fedrene sov ikke, Even ble deprimert, Isak måtte ta seg av hele familien. Nå er det snart jul... 

det kommer att regna på fredag, den tjugoandra december by vesperthine (Svenska, 4k words) - Isak har försökt säga att det inte är något att prata om ( – att mamma är dålig och pappa är feg, att han bara vill glömma allt vad förväntad familjelycka betyder och snylta på deras – ) men varje gång har Even bara tystnat och tittat ned; sett så sorgsen ut att konversationen helt har stannat av. Vilket han vet är en dödsstöt ( – en kommunikativ härdsmälta – ) som leder till allt det som han velat undvika; skrik och bråk som påminner för mycket om allting som han vill glömma.

En fantastisk julaften by pagnilagni (Norsk, 4k words) - God jul fra Maria og Fredrik og resten av familien Evak anno 2035 

I midvintertid by champagneleftie (Svenska, 8k words) - En saga om en Even, en Isak, och en magisk snöglob. 

En helt vanlig enkel dag by Always_and_ever (Svenska, 18k words) - Detta skulle bli den första dag, på länge, då han skulle känna sig ok. En dag spenderad med goda vänner på julmarknad. Han hade planerat och längtat. En helt vanlig enkel dag. Ja det var vad han föreställt sig i alla fall. Eller en historia om flera enkla dagar som inte blir så enkla som Isak hade hoppats på. ELLER en historia om att finna sin väg tillbaka. 

den mørkeste tida by pagnilagni (Norsk, 45k words) - Vi er i 2025. Isak har jobbet på Svalbard det siste halvåret. Han holder på med doktorgraden sin i astrofysikk og jobber som forsker i Ny Ålesund. Even jobber med en filminnspilling og har reist mye de siste månedene. Nå skal de feire jul sammen på Svalbard. 

Isak og Even -en julekalender by evakyaki, Frieda Echte (Plommesill), pagnilagni (Norsk, 55k words) - En Evak-fanfic-julekalender, fra oss til dere! God advent! Dette er en spesialskrevet desemberfic der vi følger Isak og Even dag for dag fram til julaften, desember 2017. Hver dag fram til jul poster vi et nytt kapittel her. 

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***** UNDER 20K FICS *****

SMUTTY

O Helga Natt by u_d (3k words) - It's Christmas Day. Isak and Even are far from holy.

santa, baby by empty_venom (SERIES, 14 fics) - Most of these are smutty fics but not all. 

Mistletoe and Type O Negative by riyku (6k words) - Isak Valtersen: vampire hunter. Kinda has a nice ring to it. 

Where the Lovelight Gleams by Sabeley (8k words) - The one where Even and Isak are stuck at different Christmas parties, but they're determined to have sex anyway. 

Uncover Me by Maugurt (13k words) - Now, Isak’s had his fair share of moments that could possibly be considered kind of gay, but those moments could always be regarded as curiosity or something else not homosexual. But straight up making out with some guy at a party couldn’t. There was just no way he could no homo out of that one. It was very homo. 

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NOT ALL FLUFF / ANGSTY

Love Actually by evak1isak (684 words) - Isak is engaged to his high school boyfriend, Chris, until things change when Even, his high school friend, shows up one day at Christmas, with an important message to tell through some posters while "Silent Night" plays in the background.

Blue Nights by Evak2121 (1k words) - "Still, he missed him more than he thought he could on a Christmas Eve." 

I'm not an asshole? by rumpelsnorcack (2k words) - Not Chrismassy. Jonas takes a few moments for himself to consider his reactions to his best friend being gay. It occurs to him that he maybe hasn't been the most supportive friend in the past. 

I'll be there, baby by Wolle19 (3k words) - All Isak want is for his husband to be home for the holidays. Even works making documentaries, so being home for the important dates is not a easy task. Isak just want a miracle. 

Oltre i confini del blu by Stria (Asia117) (3k words) - Five times Isak's Christmas is completely ruined and one time it goes completely right. 

it's going to rain on friday, the twenty-second of december by vesperthine (4k words) - Isak has tried to tell him that there’s nothing to discuss ( – that mom isn’t well, that dad is a coward, that he just wants to forget everything about family and expected happiness and just leech off of theirs – ) but every time Even has gone quiet and looked down; looked so sad that the conversation has just died. 

Soul Mates by orphan_account (5k words) - A misunderstanding before Christmas leads to a bit of angst and a whole lot of hurt/comfort. Then lots and lots of Christmas fluff!!! 

The Disaster Christmas by tusktooth (6k words) - It's now Isak's turn to meet Even's extended family over the week of Christmas.

my heart held a ledger by cynical_optimist, strangetowns (8.6k words) - A hitmen AU, wherein Isak and Even hate their jobs but love each other. 

i wrote you a song, hope that you sing along, and it goes: by traumatic (10k words) - Like a lot of seven year old boys, Even dreams of catching Santa Claus. He dreams of meeting him and shaking his hand, of asking him to show him how he does it, of thanking him for all he's done. When he actually does, Santa is exactly like he'd imagined. Both fortunately and unfortunately, by the time of Even's 23rd birthday, Santa no longer looks like that. He's no longer old or jolly; he doesn't have a large round belly or half-moon spectacles. This Santa is young, lean, and as beautiful as the world itself. 

tell me it's a good start by teatrolley (12k words) - A sequel. Even's POV of It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, before during and beyond. And a New Year's Eve. 

It's a Wonderful Life by kapplebougher (13k words) - t's a Wonderful Life AU, where Even believes the world would be better off without his existence. With the help of an angel though, he comes to realize that just maybe - that may not be entirely true. 

Life is better with you by charlyflowers (16k words) - A oneshot of Isak and Even during several Christmas times together. Childhood friends. 

I Just Want You For My Own by Twinklylightseverywhere (19k words) - Even loves the holidays, really. He loves spending time with his friends and family, drinking hot chocolate by the fire, exchanging gifts, the like. He loves leaving his apartment to see snow falling from the sky, children’s eyes lit up in excitement, and the general busy bustle of downtown Oslo in December. You know what he doesn’t love about Christmas time? Working in a fucking Post Office. 

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FLUFFY 

the way your eyes sparkle by wyoheartsmusic (501 words) - Isak and Even celebrate Christmas apart and neither of them is very happy about it 

Under the Mistletoe by evak1isak (952 words) - Isak has a crush on Eva's best friend, Even, but he's too stubborn to recognize it. With Christmas coming, Eva has a plan to set the two boys up. 

dance with me by agarina (1k words) - There's always some room for anxiety. And cheesy Christmas music. And dancing. And kisses. 

all i want for christmas is you by stringsinmelody (1k words) - Isak and Even enjoy their first Christmas together with their baby. 

Slowly Starts Sinking In by bri_ness (1.4k words) - Christmas ish. After a Christmas party, Isak and Eva consider their feelings for their friends. 

all the greenery is comin' down by colazitron (1.5k words) - Evilde fic. Vilde decides to try and make a move on Eva, and the mistletoe at the Kosegruppa Christmas Party would be the perfect pretext. If only she could actually get Eva underneath it! 

Christmas Surprises by glbertblythes (1.5k words) - Isak and Even celebrate Christmas together by going to Even's house for dinner. 

You And Me Here by TotallyTinkerbell (1.7k words) - A little Christmas-themed Evak fluff 

I'm FALLing for you by Schedazzle (2k words) - Not actually a Christmas fic but it’s too cute not to include. … the little bell above the door went off and his favorite customer came in. Even couldn’t hide the smile spreading on his face as he spotted the by now familiar golden curls. 

from such great heights by lizziemcguire (2k words) - Isak finds himself scared on a Ferris Wheel, and it's all Magnus' fault. Even is there to comfort him. 

White Elephant by HazyCosmicJive (2k words) - Vilde turns the office Secret Santa into a White Elephant Secret Santa. 

everyone hates christmas music by theyellowcurtains (2k words) - The boys plan a trip to a cabin for Christmas and a group Secret Santa. 

Hope by bri_ness (2.4k words) - Isak and Even celebrate hope. 

The Beginning of Believing by MacksDramaticShenanigans (2.5k words) - “Santa’s not even real,” Aleksander shouted, his voice so loud that it echoed down the hallway.“Yes he is! He brings us presents!” Elin whined, her bottom lip pushed out into an over exaggerated pout— something she had clearly picked up from Even. Aleksander scoffed and shook his head, blonde curls bouncing. “No! Daddy and Pappa bring us presents!” Elin’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, and a thin film of moisture clouded her pretty green irises. “No, Santa!” She argued. 

i can't pretend (guess that's love) by wyoheartsmusic (2.5k words) - Even is tired of watching his friends kiss. So is Isak. The plan? Add more kissing to the mix to get them to stop kissing.Foolproof. Right? 

Not so much of a Christmas miracle by Sassy3 (2.5k words) - Isak is trying to earn some money selling Christmas trees. He isn´t doing that well but suddenly the customers only ask for him, who is helping him out? 

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by colazitron (2.5k words) - Even knows Isak's a bit nervous about visiting his mother for Christmas, so he tries to lighten the mood with a joke. 

but cause he really knows me by ourlovelybones (3k words) - Even just wants to plan a perfect surprise for Isak, one where it doesn't go quite as planned and one where he thinks he might have gotten it just right. 

But the prettiest sight to see by imminentinertia (3k words) - Even deeply regrets doing Eva a favour for Christmas, but it turns out there’s a reward for his kindness. 

You Forgot Cranberries Too? by ultimatelawrence (3k words) - "Isak was a romantic deep down in his heart. A fact he never let anyone know. But a fact that was there and seemed to be exacerbated by the festive season."4 Christmas Eve's in which Isak sees Even. 4 Christmas Eve's to get it right. 

Bundle Up Tight! Flurries Tonight by MacksDramaticShenanigans (3.4k words) - Isak obliged and snatched up the first coat of his that his eyes landed on. It was more of a windbreaker than it was a real jacket, and Even quickly pointed that out. “If you wear that you're going to freeze, Is.” “It’s not that cold out, Even. Anyways we’re just walking to the tram stop, we’re not going to be outside very long.” 

Ready to Jingle Your Bells by MacksDramaticShenanigans (3.5k words) - It was truly a testament to how drunk Isak was when rather than vehemently denying the request or furiously shaking his head and pushing everyone away, he set his glass down and determinately rose to his feet. And there was also the fact that Isak— sober or drunk— was never one to turn away from any sort of challenge, and Mikael’s wording certainly posed this as one. (Of course, there was also the fact that Even did sing him a song, and what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t serenade Even right back?) 

The best Christmas you've ever had by hannakin (3.7k words) - “I don’t hate Christmas,” Isak sighed. “I just don’t like it.” Isak doesn't really like Christmas but Even does and he wants Isak to do too. “I’m going to make this Christmas the best Christmas you have ever had.” he whispered. 

fucking finally by theyellowcurtains (4k words) - It was nearing Christmas and Isak had to do something. He really wanted Even to be in his life forever now. 

Tis’ The Season To Be Grumpy by MacksDramaticShenanigans (4k words) - “Jeez,” Even started, giving Isak a pointed look. “Are you supposed to be using that kind of language around children?” He asked, though he didn’t sound mad— more amused than anything, really. Isak scrunched up his face at that. “What would Santa have to say about this?” 

It's Lovely Weather for a Sleigh Ride Together with You by princeofnothingcharming (4k words) - It had been snowing all day in Oslo and as Christmas was drawing near they had been playing Christmas music in KB, putting Even in such a cosy and festive mood and he’d decided he didn’t want to lose this festive feeling and wanted to something fun and festive with Isak and knew exactly what he wanted to do. 

A Grump for Christmas by Schedazzle (4k words) - Apparently he wasn't as great at hiding his emotions, because as he hastily wiped the table someone behind him said, “Why do you always frown when that one comes on?” Isak looked over his shoulder to where that deep voice had come from. Even. There was a fluttering in his stomach every time his coworker unexpectedly starting talking to him.He rolled his eyes. “It means the CD starts back up again.” Even who had been smiling at him grinned at that and chuckled. “You’re a Grinch.” Fake dating au. 

Books by Aceteroid (4k words) - Even picks up a pre-ordered book for his mother and falls for the employee at the store. 

Just Kids When We Fell In Love by wyoheartsmusic (5k words) - Isak and Even go to university 3000 km away from each other. Luckily, it's Christmas break and they had the brilliant idea to go on a cabin trip together. 

Maybe what matters is being together by evakuality (5k words) - It's Isak's first ever anniversary and he can't imagine anything worse than being forced to spend it with his co-workers. Of course, when your anniversary happens to be around Christmas time, sometimes dates collide. 

He Moves Me by warlocked_mundane (5k words) - A huge smile lights up Isak’s face and there is no trace of sleep to be found anymore. He bites his lower lip to contain the giggle that wants to escape. Even talking about their future like there is no way but for them to spend the rest of their lives together and build a family of their own, makes him giddy with so much joy. He’s never felt so happy in his life before. 

All The Way Home I'll Be Warm by Alene (6k words) - Eva finds her way back to Jonas, but more importantly she finds her way back to herself. Isak just happens to find Even in the process. Also, it's almost Christmas, and they're snowed in. 

(WIP) The Fools Who Dream by Janey_E (6k words) - A collection of moments from Isak and Even's family life, important and not-so-important. Kids, friends, mornings, evenings, weddings, birthdays, bad days, good days. 

18 Secret Santa Horror Stories That'll Turn Anyone Into A Grinch by GayaIsANerd (6k words) - Some secret Santa, some unfortunate google results, a whole lot of complaining and a heart full of gratitude. 

(Baby) It's Cold Outside by himmelsky (6k words) - December is approaching, but Isak isn’t feeling the Christmas spirit. Barista guy, aka Even, wants it differently. 

Cuddle Monsters by sikily (8k words) - One spoke of true love and the other a critic, But Christmas would be the day to believe in magic, A wink of his eye and a tilt of his head, And Isak became a believer instead. 

Make the Yuletide Gay by Sabeley (8.4k words) - Isak has been pining after Even for months. Jonas and Eva decide that a romantic getaway at the cabin is exactly what the two boys need to confess their feelings to each other.  

helpful magic by everythingislove (straykid), puddingandpie (9k words) - Five times Even uses his magic because of Isak, and the one time he actually tells him about it. Or: the one where Even is a Santa’s Helper with special Christmas magic abilities, and Isak is a normal human who he's quickly falling for. 

7 Places I Fell in Love With You by princeofnothingcharming, Victory4 (11k words) - Isak has a unique gift for Even this Christmas. In the form of letters 

SKAM ADVENT CALENDAR by salengedusmiler (SilverySparks) (14k words) - Watch your favourite Skam characters open their advent calendars together with their friends. 24 days of more or less Christmassy friendship and couple fluff!

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***** OVER 20K FICS ***** 

Just give me a reason, just a little bit’s enough by Amfelia (21k words) - Not sure if this is Christmas centric. Even discovers life is not always shiny and bright, sometimes it is just really hard. Angsty. 

In A Week by allyasavedtheday (23k words) - Not a Christmas fic. But this sequel is a fav. “Fine. I’ll stay at Eskild’s on Friday night. And you can add your 1000kr to our wedding present,” he sniffs. “Or,” Jonas says and Isak doesn’t trust the glint in his eye. “We could make this a little more interesting. ”Isak narrows his eyes at him. “What are your terms?” “You and Even spend the five nights up to Saturday apart. If you do, we’ll pay for your honeymoon.” 

Late December With My Heart In My Chest by LavenderWater (24k words) - In order to stop his mother's fussing since he left for college, Even tells her he's dating his roomate, Isak. They pretend to be a couple over the holiday weekend to convince his family.

The Secret Santa App by Crazyheart (25k words) - Secret Santa AU, Isak’s and Even’s altering POV. In this world, Isak and Even met at Nissen, but they were never brave enough to do anything. Isak (25) is a stressed-out salesman for playground equipment. Even (27) is a freshly educated, burned out and lonely children’s psychologist. They meet again when Sana, Eva and Vilde arrange a Secret Santa party. Without knowing it, Isak and Even end up as Secret Santas for each other and they chat with each other on the Secret Santa App. 

My Very Personal Ski Trainer by Crazyheart (28k words) - This is before Christmas 2016. Even never transferred to Nissen, so he’s doing his last year at Bakka. He has just broken up with Sonja and is recovering from a manic and depressive episode. Sana has invited Even and her other friends to a Holiday cabin trip, and Even needs to get in shape so that he can beat his buddies in Sana’s planned ski race. He tries out a personal ski trainer app and meets the hot ski trainer Isak Valtersen. Even struggles to focus only on the training. On the cabin trip, when Even arrives early, a surprise guest turns up and a snowstorm threatens to snow them both in. Who knows what happens next? 

Under the mistletoe by mazarin01 (30k words) - Isak (23) and Even (24) have been best friends since junior high. The holiday is upon them. Isak hates Christmas, having lots of bad memories attached to the holiday. Even on the other hand loves Christmas, but because of an appendix removal and a closed off mountain pass, he never gets home for Christmas. Being the best friend Isak is, he invites Even to celebrate Christmas with him. Circumstances have them kiss under a mistletoe and neither of them expected the kiss to feel that good... 

(I’ll give it to) Someone Special by nofeartina (31k words) - The one where Isak is oblivious to Even’s true feelings about him, but fortunately it only takes the Christmas holidays to change that. Childhood friends. Fake dating. 

A Thrill of Hope by mlbee (35k words) - “Yes,” Even breathed before pulling Isak in for another kiss. He pulled away and murmured, “This is so weird. I’m kissing a total stranger.” “Really?” Isak asked. “I do it all the time.” The Holiday AU 

Five Dollars by folerdetdufoler (36k words) - You know that one book that changes your life? It just landed in Isak Valtersen's inbox. 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas by teatrolley (49k words) - So, here’s the thing: Isak moves out of his parent’s house when he’s sixteen and it’s fine, really, most of the time it’s fine. It’s just Decembers. Goddamn Decembers. They’re not exactly his favourite time of the year.This time, though: this time he think there’s someone who has it worse than he does.On the first of December that year, Even moves in. 

Around the Corner (My Very Personal Christmas Shopper) by Crazyheart (51k words) - Isak (22) works in a record shop for Jonas. Isak’s best colleague and friend is Eva, who works in the shop, too. Isak is still in the closet. He says things as he thinks, though. Doesn't like snowglobes. Even (24) comes and asks for a job. The two get off on the wrong foot, although Isak finds Even irritatingly attractive. To complicate things, Isak has just gotten a personal Christmas gift shopper, who turns out to be a very romantic gift shopper, and who doesn't shy away from a little flirting. Holiday movie AU. 

In this bed of snowflakes we lie by MermaidsandMermen (58k words) - Follow Isak and Even in this University Dorm life AU, full of snowflakes, fluffy pillows, and people who are nothing like they seem on the outside. Because people keep secrets. Pretend to be people they are not. And secrets will wear you down if you don't let them out to air once in a while. 

that’s all i really know by cammm (95k words) - Not exclusively a christmas fic. Even and Isak have been dating for a while now. They met at a young age and sort of grew up together. Even lives and goes to school a few hours away from Nissen, so there’s a lot of commuting for Isak to see his boyfriend. But what happens when Even says he moving? And then he shows up at Nissen a few weeks later, to start school?Only thing... Isak isn’t out, yet. And Even wasn’t ever told that his boyfriend was still in the closet. 

717 Miles by MermaidsandMermen (114k words) - The epilogue is the Christmas heavy chapter. Even Bech Naesheim should not be here. Well it was not his plan to be here. Not at all. Even Bech Naesheim, age 19, is supposed to be on a beach in Bali. He is supposed to be on the first stop on his Asian backpacking trip of a lifetime. THAT was the plan. That is where he is supposed to be. Not here. Alone in a house in fucking London. Being paid to look after some troubled 17-year-old. Isak Valtersen has 3 weeks left of school. He has to survive 3 more weeks. Make it through 21 more days of hell. Then he is going to hide out in his room for the rest of the summer until he can figure out how to get his life back on track. Find a school far far away where he can start over. Not make mistakes. He doesn't need a fucking babysitter. He just doesn't. His life is fucked up enough as it is. 

(WIP) You Are Not Alone by TotallyTinkerbell (130k words) - What happened after Isak told us that 'life is now'. 

Family Ties by sadgrlsclub (215k words) - Set between Season 3 and 4. Even gets invited to his first Valtersen family event, and discovers things about Isak's past and his relationship with his parents. The story of how Even and Isak get to know each other's families and deepen their bond along the way. 

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #christmas #2017 #there's a lot

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 6th, Friday 20:18

JANAAAAAA!“ A parade of voices outscreaming themselves erupted at the new little video screen popping up on their online chat, as the familiar face of their abroad living friend appeared. 

She looked hilarious, wide eyed, absolutely overwhelmed, and even leaning away from her camera, as she laughed: „Good god, guys. I thought Jens was the boy, or better man, of the day. Not me.“

„Well we were just discussing our rescue mission to get you back home from still Trump Country.“ Luca said conspiratorial, as she whispered at short distance into her mic, making her sound a little asmr-ish and that much better.

„Also we can see or talk to Jens every day, we already sang him happy birthday, so you are more special.“ Robbe added, sticking his tounge out, as Sander grinned, raising his thumb in support. Jens rolled his eyes at them, giving them his middlefinger in return.

„Fuck you guys.“ He added without meaning it in the slightest. It was his birthday party chat, but he really didn’t mind their taunting, calling him an old man, leaving Milan and Senne to stick up to him. The real friends here in the group, Jens would make sure to remember that.

„So how is my birthday boy today?“ Jana asked smiling brightly as she looked as beautiful as ever, her hair a little shorter. He liked it, it looked very good on her. He wondered if she would ever leave his heart, and if they would have found each other again, hadn’t she moved away. 

Jens had Lucas now though, and the thought that he may not even had considered the boy, was unimaginable. Or worse he could have nonetheless fallen for him, while being with Jana... A  much scarier thought reminding him of his end with Britt, something he definitely didn’t need to revisit. So he smiled at her and kept it short: „Pretty great actually, I thought I would hate not having a party, but I really enjoy celebrating in bed in my comfy home clothes.“

I also got kissed by the prettiest boy on earth and slept like a baby for the first time in weeks.

Jens never said it out loud, but he couldn’t help his smile from growing, as did his heart in his chest planning to escape, just thinking about the morning. Both of them awake once the alarm went off, staying in bed another couple of minutes in a lazy cudlle, pecking kisses at heach other. God it was too cheesy and he loved every moment of it. Lucas had changed clothes, just as fast as Jens, as the boy had hurried out of the house to get home, while Jens panicked to get everything done on his agenda. They had spent a little too long in bed. 

Jens would welcome the stress back every morning, if Lucas would promise to show up on his doorstep every time the clock struck midnight. 

„Jens?“ Aaron asked amused, waving his hand in front of the camera to get his attention back. He may have drifted off there a bit.

„Sorry, what?“

„Milan said, you have to come by tomorrow because he is not gonna have you spent a birthday without getting a cake and blowing out a candle with a party hat on.“ Senne provided as an explanation, but the only thing happning in Jens’s brain was the image of Lucas last night. Fuck this boy was taking over his mind way too fast.

„Eh sure. Though I think I have to bring Lotte, my mom is busy tomorrow. Children under 12 do not fall under the lockdown guidelines, so should be safe. That’s okay for you?“ Jens asked looking at the little screen showing all members of the flatshare in a tangled mess on Zoenne’s bed.

„Yeah I think that’s fine. It’s not like we have to make it toddlersafe.“ Milan said already looking excited of having the little girl over too. Until now, they only ever had visited the flatshare one time back in February and only for an hour or two, usually they met at Jens’s place.

„Shit Babe, that means we have to finish his present today.“ Robbe exclaimed a bit too panicked for it to be a joke. His boyfriends eyes widned, as he looked at Robbe in shock. „Jens, is it too late to say it is for christmas?“ 

„Pretty much, yes, it better be amazing, or I’ll cancel this friendship.“

„Oh I forgot, fuck!“ Luca suddelnly loudly announced getting off of her chair and stumbling out of frame her voice still being picked up by the mic: „Let me just turn the speaker on.... Wait...wait... Okay! I know it is not the best time given election. Yikes! But we are all together in chat since Jana moved, soooo.“

One note was all that was needed for the group to immediatly loose it.

„You are not playing Miley Cyrus now!“

„Hell yea, I am!“ Luca replied to Moyo’s absolutely horrorfied face, before starting to sing the lyrics: 

„I hopped off the plane at LAX

With a dream and my cardigan

Welcome to the land of fame excess,

Whoa, am I gonna fit in?“

Milan joining in instantly as if he had waited his whole life for this moment. Sander following suit, next to Robbe fishing for his phone. He was definitely going to record his boyfriend for leverage. Or because it was Sander singing, to Robbe even Sander breathing was worthy of adoration.

By the time they reached the jay-z line leading up to the chorus, they all had giving up their resistance and begun to sing whole heartedly, between giggles, dancing and messing up on words and notes. Any music teacher listening in would let them all fail class. No questions asked.

„Yeah it's a party in the USA“

Ending in a big crecsendo before all 11 voices fell silent, as they looked at each other and proceeded to burst into laughter.

„I miss you guys sooo much.“ Jana cried, hugging her laptop. All they saw was a black screen for a long minute, before she sat back, grinning: „Though I am dating this super hot guy from Geography. Like he is an absolutely idiot, but he is very cute and super gorgeous looking.“

„So American Jens?“ Yasmina said as dry and confident, that Jens was pretty sure she meant it. At least a little. Much to their friends’s amusement.

„Ey! This is my birthday, you can’t be mean on my birthday.“ He pretended to be offended, yet smirked at her, as soon as her lips curled up into a big smile, her eyebrows risen up high. 

„She’s got a point though, bro.“ Moyo laughed, lucky that he wasn’t near enough to be hit by Jens, who raised his hands.

„Alright, alright. I definitely gonna have to find new friends now, that’s for sure.“

„No! You are a cute idiot, our cute idiot.“ Zoe chimed in, absolutely delighted and Jens couldn’t really ever be mad at that girl, so he sighed, accepting his fate. It wasn’t exactly that they were very off anyway, he supposed.

„Well whatever, I actually wanted to let you know that I decided to apply to University in Antwerp, Brussel, Utrecht and Rotterdam, so hopefully I can move back next summer. I talked to my mom, and she isn’t the biggest fan of her daughter being so far away, but she knows how I hated moving here. I guess she feels guilty and I’m gonna take full adventage of that.“

An amount of variations of „seriously“ to „are you joking?“ Filled the chat to a point it all merged into a single distorted sound for a good couple of minutes. Jens joining right in. They all wanted her back, especially the girls.

It was Amber who than took the conversation over, completely leading them onto a new topic, one that Jens should have seen coming, but kinda hoped wouldn’t be turned into a big deal. But obviously it, would be, as Jana had seen their insta posts and the last vlog from wednesday.

„That means you get to meet Lucas! That would be so cool, he is also from Utrecht, maybe he could help you out with it. We should invite him for the next time.“

„Oh right, tell me all about him, I’m ready. Someone’s dating him? Because if not I’m calling dips.“

Jens had to use everything in him, to keep himself from snorting, laughing or commenting, giving away any knowledge he possesed. But having his ex lusting after the boy he kissed last night, was the funniest shit ever.

No one seemed to notice though, as they all went full in, describing everything they knew about the poor absent dutch boy. Not able to defend himself. 

Jens leaned back and enjoyed every second of it.

Best birthday so far.

#week 2 #wtfock #skam #vds #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #chapped and faded #the group together again #i loved wtfock down and their dynamic

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1985

Under the cut.

Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985

One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.

Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985

Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.

REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985

<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.

Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985

This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.

We Are the World -- April 13, 1985

Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)

Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985

This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.

Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985

As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.

Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.

So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.

Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985

What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.

Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985

I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.

Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.

I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.

Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985

He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.

Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985

I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.

Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985

I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.

Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985

I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.

Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985

I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good. 

Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985

This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)

John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985

Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.

Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985

This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.

Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985

The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.

a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985

The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.

Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985

It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.

Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985

No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.

Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985

My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.

Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985

Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.

Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985

This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.

Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985

This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.

Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.

Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985

I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.

BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds  WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship

#billboard number ones

[et-lesailes]

mellifluous // rhee’s 1k celebration

details on rhee’s 1k celebration ! SPOTS STILL OPEN !

pairing: chris evans x celeb!reader

word count: 2160

summary: you are a singer and actress working with chris on a rom com, and while the two of you are only vibing for now, he makes his move on the jimmy fallon show for all the world to see after a fun segment of google translate songs. 

themes: fluff, comedy, romance

taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox

note: finally getting around to my 1k celebration requests, and this very first one was submitted by @raveviolet! i took a pretty different approach to this one. this fic is based off this jimmy fallon segment and these are the songs i used in order-- tbh i’d recommend watching these videos, they’re hilarious! one // two // three. in this fic, the words in italics are the actual lyrics and the words in bold are the translated ones.

GIF:

As co-stars in an upcoming rom com, you and Chris were currently on Jimmy Fallon to promote your new movie and you were excited. You had been on his show a couple of times before and each time had been great; it felt like fun rather than working or some boring interview. Now you could share the fun with Chris, the man who had come to be a very close friend over the past few months of filming and… perhaps something more? You had told yourself you wouldn’t let your roles impact your feelings. Yes, you played a couple in the film, but that did not mean you could automatically be compatible in real life. However, after spending so much time together off camera, it really felt like he was perfect for you. Funny, kind hearted, sincere, dedicated, always positive-- you could go on for hours about all of his good traits. Even better, you had a feeling he may have felt the same about you. Your relationship had started to become a little more flirtatious these past few weeks, and you had been spending a lot more time together. At the same time, you did not want to focus too much on trying to date him or get serious; it was also important to you that you maintain a good friendship first, and so you were perfectly fine with taking it slow and simply going through a “vibing” period with him.

“Alright, guys, we’re going to start our next segment. To those of you who have watched before, I’m sure you’re familiar with the game Google Translate Songs! Y/N, you recently released your latest album and it was a hit, so I’m sure you’ll kill this game. And Chris, you’re a pretty decent singer yourself, aren’t you? Don’t you even sing a little bit for this movie?” Jimmy asked as he turned to the actor, and he chuckles, nodding in response. “I do sing a little here and there-- I used to be very much into theater when I was younger, and as most people know I absolutely love musicals, so I dabble in singing every now and then-- just not professionally, like Y/N. She’s absolutely amazing, her voice is angelic.” He complimented you, and you smiled happily, playfully fanning your cheeks in an exaggerated flattered gesture. “Well, thank you! And I love this segment of the show, oh my God it’s so funny.” You giggled, fingers adjusting around the mic you had received for it. 

Jimmy explained the rules of the game for those who did not know. A popular American song Google translated to another language and then back to English would result in very different, often funny and nonsensical lyrics that would then be sung by the show’s guests and Jimmy. For instance, “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” when translated into Croatian and then back would become, “The Evening Show that Plays Jimmy Fallon”. You were already smiling in amusement thinking of how funny the songs that had been arranged would be, shifting to sit on your knees on the couch due to the position causing for better vocals. 

“Alright, Chris, how about you start us off?” Jimmy suggested, and the actor laughed but nodded his head, getting more comfortable. “Oh man, alright, I’m ready. What song do I get?” Jimmy looked towards the screen and clapped his hands in amusement. “My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion!” Chris laughed even louder as the audience howled loudly, looking around. “Celine, I’m sorry in advance.” He playfully apologized to the camera before turning slightly to look to the screen where the lyrics would display. Jimmy nodded towards the band and they started to play, Chris beginning to sing the skewed words to the tune as best as he could.

“(Every night in my dreams) Every night in my painting cream

(I see you I am agradable to you

(I feel you) Beethoven

(That is how I know you go on) I know I know you

(Far across the distance) Remote

(And spaces between us) And there was a gap between us

(You have come to show you go on) I showed you

(Near) Off

(Far) Yes

(Wherever you are) Check it out

(I believe that the heart does go on) If you have a heart valve”

The music stopped and everyone burst out into laughter; Chris had already been stifling laughs as he had been singing, and if anything, you were impressed that he had been able to hold it in for so long. “Where did Beethoven come from?!” you exclaimed in amusement, clapping your hands as you continued laughing, almost getting breathless. “I have no idea,” Chris was gasping out in between loud laughs, instinctively reaching his hand out to grab your left boob, though only hitting your arm because you were covering your face with your hands. After everyone had finally calmed down, Jimmy turned to you with a smile. “Your turn, Y/N! Are you ready?” You giggled as you wiped around your eyes as lightly as you could to avoid ruining your makeup, nodding. “Oh God. Yes, what song do I get?” 

“We’re going to get a little festive here. I’m pretty sure almost everyone knows this song-- All I Want for Christmas is You, by Mariah Carey!”

You smiled in excitement as the band started playing, looking towards the screen brightly as you began to sing.

“(I don’t want a lot for Christmas) I do not get a lot of Christmas gifts

(There is just one thing I need) I only have one

(I don’t care about the presents) I do not care about the price, please

(Underneath the Christmas tree) Christmas tree festival

(I just want you for my own) Simply want to own

(More than you could ever know) Perhaps more imagination

(Make my wish come true) Make my wish become a reality

(All I want for Christmas is you) I want for Christmas is you~

It was already hard for you not to laugh, but while you were so focused on singing, you did not notice the way Chris was looking at you in pure and utter awe and fascination. He had always loved hearing you sing, and even though this was meant to be a comedic segment, his breath was still taken away with how beautiful you sounded, though he was laughing at the same time simply because of how messed up the lyrics were. You continued on with the chorus,

“(I don’t want a lot for Christmas) Do not get a lot of Christmas gifts

(There is just one thing I need) I only have one

(I don’t care about the presents) I am a duck

(Underneath the Christmas tree) In the shade of a tree

(I don’t need to hang my stocking) No need to interrupt my tights

(There upon the fireplace) There is no air conditioning

(Santa Claus won’t make me happy) Santa, you are not satisfied

(With a toy on Christmas day) Birthday other Diploflix sports

(I just want you for my own) I want to be alone

(More than you could ever know) Click here for more information”

You finally stopped, unable to help but laugh loudly, the band pausing in their playing. “Wait, what?!” you exclaimed loudly, looking towards the screen with a giggle. “How did these lyrics change from the first verse?” Jimmy laughed too, shrugging playfully. “We used a different language halfway through! Why’d you stop, it was so great!” At this point, Chris was practically cracking up, clapping his hands as he beamed widely. “There is no air conditioning,” he repeated through his laughter, finding the particular quote hilarious, shaking his head as he clapped you on the shoulder. “Man, I don’t know how you did all of that with a straight face.”

“Well, you better get ready to do it yourself, Chris, because it’s time for you and Y/N to do a duet!” Jimmy said with a playfully devious grin, arching an eyebrow. “I take it you two know the Aladdin soundtrack pretty well? Especially you, Chris, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard you know the entire soundtrack.”

“Hell, yeah I do. What are we doing, “A Whole New World”?” he guessed, and Jimmy nodded, making you squeal in excitement. “I love that one!” you spoke happily, sitting straighter once more and glancing to him with a giggle. “You ready?” He laughed and squeezed your thigh lightly and briefly, nodding his head. “Oh, of course. I was born for this. Let’s go.” Taking the part of Aladdin, he began,

“(I can show you the world) I can add it the clarity of the world

(Shining, shimmering) Shiny, shiny

(Splendid) Large

(Tell me, princess) Now when I want to talk to princess

(Now when did you last let your heart decide) Finally decided to make up your mind

(I can open your eyes) I can turn in your eyes

(Take you wonder by wonder) You’re a miracle band

(Over, sideways, and under) The assailants of cross and in-low

(On a magic carpet ride) In a tour carpet magic

(A whole new world) A new entire world!

(A new fantastic point of view) Please check the new dreamlike point

(No one to tell us no) Does not say us not

(Or where to go) Or I’ll go there

(Or say we’re only dreaming) No say that that separates some dreams

You kept a straight face as best as you could, now ready to sing your part as Jasmine.

“(A whole new world) A completely new world!

(A dazzling place I never knew) A stunning location where I did not know

(But now from way up here) But here all the way

(It’s crystal clear) It’s glittering and translucent

(That now I’m in a whole new world with you) That now a new world and I wish you I’m”

The music ended and the two of you started cracking up, especially at the last part that ended so abruptly. You loved how both of you could find these silly, stupid things so hilarious; you had the feeling that both of you wouldd be binge watching Jimmy Fallon’s Google Translate Songs together later on in the night once you were going home from this show. “Man, I’ve been singing Disney songs all wrong this whole time,” Chris joked, earning laughter from Jimmy and the audience. Looking towards you, he smiled as he added, “but damn, hearing Y/N sing was still just as amazing as ever. You are really talented, you know that?” You couldn’t help but blush but smiled as you genuinely returned the compliment, “You’re a good singer too, you know! Maybe we should do a collab one of these days…”

The audience cheered loudly at that and all of you laughed again, Chris playfully leaning over to give you a squeeze. “The fact that you want to do a collab with me is flattering in itself. Thank you.” Jimmy chuckled as he watched, arching an eyebrow. “You know, you two seem pretty close in general. Is there something we should know about…?” You were about to say something but Chris suddenly spoke up instead, smoothly replying, “I mean, there could be in the near future, if Y/N agrees to the date I was going to ask her on tonight…”

You were practically speechless, which was for the best at the moment anyways given the loud gasps and cheers arising from the audience; looking to him in shock, you giggled slightly, biting your lip. “Um, yeah, of course I’m gonna go on a date with you, why would I ever say no to that?” You practically blurted out, and everyone was clapping their hands, even giving a standing ovation to support the two of you. You could see how happy he was, but you definitely were not expecting what he did next.

“Do you think you’d say no to a kiss, then?” he asked innocently, and you widened your eyes. You weren’t even sure how to verbally respond, but the light blush on your cheeks and the way you bit your lip gave him all the answer he needed.

Leaning in, he framed one side of your face and gave you a gentle and loving kiss right then and there, in front of the audience and for all the world watching to see. You kissed him back immediately, no hesitation in your mind as you did so, smiling against his lips as you brought your own hands up to lightly touch the sides of his neck. Even Jimmy was cheering now, clapping his hands in support of the two of you, though you could barely even hear him or the audience; you were far too lovestruck now, already in way too deep as you pulled back to look into Chris’ beautiful blues, but you had a feeling that this was the best choice of your life.

#chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x you #rhee's 1k celebration #i'm sorry if this is a little confusing??? #but it took 5 years to edit holy shit #so i'm really hoping it all made sense

[skvaderarts]

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Here’s my yearly Christmas fic if your interested! I love all the art you’ve been posting! Repost with links to your art and fics! Let’s make a thread!

Gathered for Greetings

 I’m going to end up writing a Christmas fic every year, aren’t I? That’s okay. I just hope that next year I’m no literally writing it on Christmas day! Curse you, procrastination!

-~-

When they’d received the invites in the mail, they’d been skeptical.

Togetherness wasn’t something that none of them were used to, but it was something that they were willing to play at, if only because of the simply apocalyptic year that they’d all had thus far. Due to obvious circumstances, the majority of them had little to no experience with planning holiday events, let alone even attending them, but that wasn’t going to stop them from trying. In a strange turn of events, Nero and Kyrie were probably the most well acquainted with how holiday parties worked due to the addition of the orphans a short while back, but even then they had never thrown a party. After all, there weren’t exactly a lot of people they could invite, and they didn’t have a very spacious living area. Try as they might, there was only so much that they could do, especially on their limited finances. 

But there was one unexpected additional point of intrigue that made this particular holiday get together a bit more interesting than it already seemed to be at first glance, and that was the setting that it was set to take place in. That, and who’s idea it was in the first place. Towards the start of the holiday season, V had approached Nero with a very much out of character proposition:

“... I think we should do something this year… at my house.”

Nero remembered looking at him as though he had grown a second head. Had V lost his mind? From what he knew about his generally socially challenged sibling, this particular request seemed like something he’d come up with after a particularly traumatic head injury or as the result of a late-night cheese binge. Was he caught in the middle of some kind of irreverent fever dream?

“Why do you wanna do that? I thought you hated parties.”

V had looked away from him, obviously uncomfortable with the reality that he was now going to have to explain what he was thinking. He’d figured that he’d more than likely have to do that, but that reality did little the quince the feeling of unease that he felt in the pit of his stomach. Voluntary honesty was difficult, especially when it forced him to speak on matters that he could frankly do without digging out of the lower recesses of his mind. He’d prefer to keep his problems buried deep, and this certainly counted as a problem, but he’d brought this up, so he was going to follow through.

“You’re correct, I do… but this is the first time I’ve ever had a family to actually commemorate the occasion with, and as such, the first time I…” he paused for a second, looking down at the floor with an earnest look of sadness.” I’ve never actually celebrated Christmas. Ever. Even as a child. I was hoping to change that.”

So naturally, not being a heartless psychopath, Nero couldn’t turn down such a heartfelt plea, especially from such a close member of his family. It was rare for V to ask for anything, and after the frankly hellish few months they’d had since his resurrection, he couldn’t think of a logical reason to dismiss his idea. He’d had an opportunity once or twice to do something for the holidays once he’d met Kyrie’s wonderful family as a younger child, but the idea of literally never doing anything for it at all… It actually hurt his heart a little to imagine that. Aside from cultural or even religious reasons, how on earth did that even happen?!

That was a question for another day. If his older sibling wanted to have his house destroyed by their extended family, then he was happy to help him in that regard. So in the last days leading up to Christmas, Nero, Kyrie, and Nico had brought the children over and they had spent several long hours decorating, wrapping gifts, and generally trying to keep V from having a protracted anxiety attack from the prospect of having everyone they knew at his house. Planning it was one thing, but actually doing it was another thing entirely, and he’d never been the best at long periods of social interaction. It drained his social battery to even think about it.

“Do you think they’re actually going to come over? Hell, do they even like Christmas? They barely like each other!” Nero shouted down to V over his shoulder as he shrugged and secured the last of the lights over a doorway. He was dead tired of climbing this ladder, and he hoped that the architects that built the place and decided that it needed close to fifteen-foot ceilings were burning in hell right now. But if he ever saw V climb a ladder again, he was going to have an anxiety attack.” I can’t see our old man even being the festive type. Maybe Dante but…”

He shrugged, fussing over the bottom of the gigantic Christmas tree that Lady and Trish had brought over early that morning. Where they had managed to find a real twelve-foot tall tree on Christmas day was anyone’s guess. It was probably Morrison’s handiwork, considering the fact that he’d helped them bring it over in the first place. That man could find ice in hell. Lady and Morrison were in the kitchen with Kyrie and Magnolia. They were helping taste things while the two of them finished up the last of the cooking. V had helped them cook a short while before deciding to turn his attention to the entirely bare tree. Three people in one kitchen was a bit of a crowd, but considering the fact that this had once been Magnolia’s family home, not inviting her would have been extraordinarily unkind. In an ironic twist, he’d managed to find ornaments but nothing to actually put them on. How fortunate that they’d arrived when they did.

Nico and Trish were on either side of the tree, attempting to help him get the last few ornaments on and clean up the bristles that had fallen on the tree skirt. As it turned out, V was actually horribly allergic to pine needles. They made him break out in an extremely itchy rash, a fact that he’d gone his entire life without knowing due to the fact that he’d literally never gone near a pine tree. It made the process of hanging ornaments slow and slightly nervewracking, to say the least. He imagined that this was what it would feel like to try and decorate poison oak.

“I’d imagine that they have mixed feelings about this time of year, to say the least. It more than likely brings up unfortunate memories.” He stepped away from the tree and allowed himself to slump over on the couch. All this standing didn’t agree with him.” Admittedly, I was pleasantly surprised when Dante agreed to come over. Even more so when he called back only a short while later to inform me that Vergil would be following suit. I suspect there was violence involved in that negotiation.”

Trish scoffed slightly, trying and failing not to laugh.” Oh, I’m sure there was. I don’t think either of them like parties. It’s one of the few things they agree on!”

With a relieved sigh, Nero climbed down from the ladder, thoroughly done with hanging things.” Sorry, but those are gonna have to stay up until next year. No way I’m going back up there.”

V nodded, equally tired and ready to get started with the festivities..” Agreed. It is quite a hassle. Thank you all for tolerating my request. It seems that none of us particularly enjoy large gatherings or decorating for that matter. I’m flattered that you would do so for my sake at your own expense.”

Everyone present waived him off nonchalantly. None of them minded on this one occasion. It was a welcome moment of normality in their entirely supernatural lives, and they couldn’t say that those happened very often.

“Yea, well as long as this goes better than that damn beach trip, I think we’ll all be just fine.” Nico said as she walked towards the kitchen with a bag full of pine needles.” Now don’t touch that godforsaken tree again or I’ll skin you all alive. I’m tired of cleaning!”

An awkward silence washed over the room as they thought about that trip. It had been a stressful year, hadn’t it? Between that and Belial… “yea, well if you aim low, you can’t be disappointed, can ya? That’s how I talk myself out of bed every day.!”

They all turned in the direction of the doorway, surprised to see who had spoken. Standing before them were Dante and Vergil, the two of them seemingly taking in the surprisingly festive atmosphere. It had been Lady’s idea to play Christmas music. She’d even brought over wine for the occasion. She was perhaps the most excited person there besides Magnolia and the children who were playing in the next room over with Lucia. Getting the redheaded guardian there in time had been nothing short of a logistical nightmare, but they had pulled it off nonetheless. Even Matier had managed to come over for the occasion, no doubt surprised to be invited in the first place. There were still a few stragglers who would be coming later on such as Patty, but the number of people who had agreed to come in the first place was enough for V.

Much to their collective surprise and disbelief, V actually laughed at that statement. It was a sentiment that he honestly had to agree with. It was rare that V actually agreed with Dante on something so wholeheartedly, but this was one of those occasions.” You make a valid point, Dante. I suppose I’m just glad you both came.”

Dante and Vergil almost seemed flattered by the statement, unsure of what to really say. It had taken quite a bit for them to talk themselves into coming over, but seeing everyone there wasn’t something they expected and as such, they were a little unsure of where to start. But they were willing to try, and that was what counted, wasn’t it?

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all…

Looking notably uncomfortable, Vergil glanced in the direction of the tree. It had been a long time since he’d seen one of those… It brought back vague but vibrant memories he thought he’d lost to the void of despair that was his life a lifetime ago. Perhaps actually attempting to make a few new ones wasn’t such an awful idea after all.

“... Thank you for inviting us.”

With that statement, the entire room fell strangely silent again, everyone collectively surprised to hear Vergil say something so… agreeable. It was a nice change of pace. One could only assume that he was genuinely pleased to be included in something like this, but it was hard to tell. They had no point of reference. But if the barely concealed look of surprised pleasure on Dante’s face was anything to go off of, they had done something right.

It was Nero’s turn to break the silence. He was admittedly starting to get hungry, and he was sure the children were probably driving Lucia insane in the next room. It was actually time to celebrate.” Anytime. Now let’s go eat. Kyrie and V were cooking and magnolia brought over desert again.”

Dante practically teleported into the kitchen.” Well, hell you shoulda started there! Speak up next time!”

Vergil shook his head and followed after him at a much slower pace. He was in much less of a hurry to get to the kitchen. He hadn’t really come there for the food.” At least he’s eating something besides pizza.”

Nero and V nodded in agreement. The holidays were supposed to be about the little things. It was about time they went and enjoyed them. After all, it wasn’t every day that they all got to spend time together without it being a life or death situation. They were going to savor that. Well, that and the food. The food was probably going to be amazing.

-~-

Thanks for reading this little holiday fic that I threw together! You’ll all see how this ties into the main story once we get there in Hirathe. I thought you might like this. Happy Holidays everyone! See you on New Years! I hope next year is a little better!

#Happy Holidays #DMC5 #V #Vergil #Nero #Dante #Lady #Trish #Nico #Kyrie #Devil May Cry 5 #Devil May Cry V #Post Devil May Cry 5 #DMC #DMCV #Post Devil May Cry V #Devil May Cry #Fic #A03 FanFiction #Skvader